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notbecauseofvictories · 5 years

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Neil Gaiman did a ‘where are they now’ for the Good Omens characters and apparently Crowley and Aziraphale are living out in a remote cottage in the English country side.

I believe in my heart that Crowley and Aziraphale tried really hard to make the cottage work. They really, very definitely honestly did. Fell Cottage* had a kitchen that was barely touched, a parlor that saw a great deal of traffic by villagers fascinated by the arrival of two eccentric Londoners—it was a very small village, and Aziraphale had given up scowling at people since it seemed to have little effect—and a library full of poetry, prophecy, and various first editions that defied the actual breadth of the space it occupied.**

Aziraphale took to gardening, in that he spent a lot of time puttering in the garden and it definitely had plants in it. Some of them ate the small dogs who had the bad sense to widdle on them. Unfortunately, Aziraphale had very little structured knowledge of plants (it was mostly ethereal instinct) and absolutely no concept of restraint; a botanist stumbling into Aziraphale’s garden in —shire would very likely be baffled and then either delighted or driven mad by the sheer impossible biodiversity.

“I think that’s cheating,” Crowley said once when they were talking a walk through the garden. He nodded to a bush blooming with deep purple flowers that hadn’t been seen on Earth since another and rather more famous garden was around.

Aziraphale blushed. “Oh, well. There was a bush right by the Eastern Gate, I always liked them.”

Crowley had a thriving side-business doing what might, in a very posh sense, be called Automotive Repair. In an actual sense, he did things with cars. Cars, unlike houseplants, were high-strung things that didn’t tolerate a regime of fear; as a consequence, Crowley spent a great deal of time reading books like Nervous Nellie No More: How I Beat Anxiety and figuring out how to speak in a calm, soothing voice. A lot of Ford Fiestas in the village of —shire were really only desperate for a bit of teatime chat about how Mrs. Margo leaned too hard on the breaks pedal and Johnny Margo ruined the suspension cruising over speed traps. Really, what Crowley had done was single-handedly invented the motor oil klatch.

And for a while, it was better than Heaven.***

But despite being bucolic and domestic (&tc other things ending in ‘ick’) it doesn’t last. To both their surprise, it’s Aziraphale who gets itchy feet first---Crowley catches him popping back from Poland, because he heard there was a new restaurant there one had to try. Shortly afterwards, Crowley nudges Aziraphale’s foot with his own, and asks whether he’s ever been to the actual Casablanca. Aziraphale asks if he’s ever had borscht from...? And Crowley replies, well no, but I always wanted to see...

It devolves from there. Neither Heaven nor Hell is speaking to them these days---they’re not not speaking to them, since that would imply something had happened; but there’s a silence. So Aziraphale and Crowley go on what Aziraphale refers to as a ‘grand tour’ and what Crowley refers to as a honeymoon. The cottage sits empty for decades, collecting dust and horror stories, and then, quietly, dissolves into the grass one moonless night. Everyone in the village talks about it, since they can remember the---well, not their faces, or their names, but they know someone lived their once. Someone full of green, and magic.****

“Do you miss it?” Crowley asks once, when they’re in Japan. Aziraphale had wanted to try real sushi. “Fell Cottage? I miss it sometimes.”

“Not often,” Aziraphale says, helping himself to the nori. He isn’t especially thinking when he says, “You were always the best part of it, and you followed me here.”

When he looks up, Crowley’s eyes are yellow and bright over the rim of his sunglasses. “Well,” Crowley says, and his voice is raspy, low. “When you put it like that.”

(The next morning, they’re in Morocco. They watch the sun come up, and Crowley says, like that first one, and Aziraphale says, yes.)

* Crowley had picked it. “Does this mean you’re taking my name?” Aziraphale had asked, with a painfully studied casualness. Crowley tentatively touched his shoulder to the angel’s---they were working on that, the touching thing---and said, “More like, that’s what we share. You’re Fell and I’m Fallen.” (...as readers, we shall draw a veil over what happened next. It was private.)

** As this describes most libraries, no one much noticed.

*** No one had to watch The Sound of Music.

**** There is an unexpected resurgence in fairytales and folklore in South Eastern England; it’s baffling, unless you know that there were a couple strangers in a cottage in —shire, and they made the world interesting, before they went.

#Anonymous #good omens #I just need to.......get this out of my system and then I can go back to normal right?#the pratchett voice is so comfortable and honestly satisfying to write in

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mariposalass · 4 years

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Weird Candy Cane Tasting (Candy Canes)

Summary: Mari, Philip, Ron, and the Gru girls taste some weird tasting candy canes and their reactions to them are absolutely priceless.

Notes: My Day 3 entry for @silentlyfangirlingselfshipper’s A Very Shippy Christmas event with the theme of candy canes. It’s just a short drabble of Philip, Ron, Mari, Margo, Edith and Agnes trying out a plenty of weird candy cane flavors and the results are pretty awkward to put it nicely. Diabetics or people whose families have a medical history of diabetes should be careful in reading this: this might make you squick in horror with plenty of sugar involved.

Tags: a very shippy Christmas, Christmas, Defying Time, Renewed Potential, Weasley the King, Orphanage Sweethearts, candy canes, sugar time, warning: sugar intake, crossovers, fluff, weird candy cane flavors, chaos ensues, spicy flavors

Modern holiday traditions and trends both perplex and amaze Philip at the same time: for one, he is trying to wrap his head around with the whole celebration shindig that the people of the present day are raving about, but on the same note, he’s quite intrigued by their interest in keeping the holiday spirit alive and well. After all, in his old timeline, there were simpler times then and sometimes using candles on trees might sound like a bad idea in hindsight.

It was a calm normal day in the shopping mall when he becomes all too curious about candy canes in general: he, Ron, and Mari were accompanying Margo, Edith, and Agnes at the mall while the girls’ parents, Gru and Lucy, are on a complicated and hard mission for the AVL at the moment. Mari doesn’t think letting the Minions to after the girls will stay as a good idea so she has Philip and Ron to help her out in the event of Edith and Agnes get lost; Margo, she knows, can look after her when solo, so she isn’t too hard to handle. They were passing by a nearby candy chop when he stopped to see what is available for the season: among the sweets being sold were candy canes of various colors, flavors, and manufacturers, and, since he’s fully aware of Edith and Agnes having a sweet tooth and mainly out of curiosity over the candy canes, he brought this up to them, and the response is mixed to say the least.

“We’re going to get CANDY CANES today!?!” Agnes shirked in happiness upon hearing his words.

“This is so awesome,” Edith happily gasped, her jaws feeling like they’re dropping onto the ground.

“Philip, you know that my sisters can be handful at times if they are anywhere near sugar, right?” Margo asked in concern, she wasn’t too crazy over sweets unlike her sisters though she loves to get some once in a while.

“Well, I...”

“Errr… Won’t the girls’ parents get mad at us for bringing them to the candy store without them knowing?” Ron brought up a big concern to his friend’s sister’s boyfriend while they look at Agnes and Edith jumping around in excitement.

“Can we go inside the store now, PLEASE!!!” the 2 younger girls pleaded, puppy dog eyes widen to get some sympathy.

“Do we have a choice?” Ron asked Mari.

“Don’t get me wrong, Ron, I didn’t expect a candy store detour either, but… I didn’t want the girls to feel deprived of something they really want so much,” Mari mused on the thoughts before making her decision, “We can check out those candy canes Philip’s being talking about.”

“WHA-” Ron’s shock was cut off by a concerned Margo who then told him to bear with her sisters’ eagerness and Philip’s curiosity for a while, to which he reluctantly agreed.

The candy store is not heavily packed of customers when they got inside and the candy display is filled to the brim with all sorts of candies: lollipops, gummi candies, gum drops, candy tapes, and, the candy of the day, candy canes. Ron’s thoughts soon turned from worry to amazement as the contents inside are starting to remind him of the Honeydukes candy shop back in Hogsmeade, temptation is creeping upon him but he is smart enough not to let animal instinct to go nuts in a candy store. One of the staff, a store clerk, running the store saw them coming in along with a few more customers from outside and had offered them candy canes, chopped into bite sized pieces, for any customer to try out. The pieces range in color and flavor, but who knows what the latter would taste like unless you try it yourself. People soon grabbed some of the pieces and popped in their mouths, trying to savor them as humanely as possible, though some people aren’t so lucky in picking the flavors in hindsight.

Mari randomly popped in a yellow/white stripped piece which she though would be lemon, but it turns out to be Mac and Cheese, which is interesting in the mouth but not pleasant enough in candy form for the picky librarian. Ron had his eyes closed and doubt in his mind as he picked up a green and white colored candy cane piece and tasted it, only to gag on it a few seconds in and realized from the store clerk’s speedy answer that he had gotten pickle flavored candy cane. Shocked to discovered that his beloved Mari and Ron weren’t so lucky, Philip absentmindedly selected a gray black/white striped candy cane piece and, the minute he popped it into his mouth, he was horrified to discover that he had eaten a coal flavored candy cane.

“Oh dear Lord, what kind of blasphemy is this?” he gagged in between words as he raced to get water in the store.

“Well bloody hell! I didn’t expect pickles to be a thing in normal candies lately,” Ron gasped while trying to erase his mind of the dreadful pickle candy cane.

“It seems that my luck at the mac n cheese candy cane seems to look sane so far,” Mari nodded back as she turned to Margo, “Hey Margo, what’s that candy cane piece you have going to taste like?”

“Hopefully it doesn’t taste like soap,” the eldest Gru sister sighed, holding onto a brown and beige piece of candy cane before she dropped it into her mouth then began to grimace at the taste of it, “Hmm… Tastes so bitter and so unpleasant… Huh?!? I got Coffee! Dad & Mom wouldn’t ever give me, Edith, and Agnes that as long as we all live.”

“What the-” Mari was panicking at the words her cousin spoke when Edith grabbed onto some light green candy cane pieces.

“Eh, they’re just candy, guys! Besides, how bad those green things I have now can be?” she innocently asked everyone as she tossed the candy pieces onto her mouth before her face started to cringe at the first taste and began to pant her tongue much faster than a dehydrated dog and began to scream in horror.

“Edith!” Margo cried as she did her best to comfort her sister in that dire moment when Mari picked up a box that featured the candy canes in the same color scheme as the ones Edith tasted and made a terrifying discovery, “It turns out Edith took some wasabi candy cane pieces without knowing that too much wasabi can mess up your tongue and taste buds.”

“Unbelievable!” Philip’s eyes widen in shock while drinking up the water from the water dispenser in the store and giving one more cup of water for Edith to drink from, “She didn’t even took a second look to be sure?”

But before anyone can give a conclusive answer, the most awkward and scariest of them all came when Agnes unsuspectingly took in some piece of chopped candy canes in a dazzling array of white, red, and green; it seems to look seasonal enough, right? Turns out that this was a bad idea in the end when her face slowly turned tomato red and began to cry profusely with tears running down her eyes. Margo was shocked that little Aggie had unwittingly eaten something her little body isn’t ready to feast on yet, so she and Edith (after recovering from her wasabi candy cane nightmare) ran up to her and did their best to calm her and make sure that everything will be fine.

Mari, after being given the location of the water dispenser from Philip, headed for the said water dispenser, took a cup, filled it with water, and ran back to Agnes who took the cup from her and began to drink all the water very fast with no second thoughts. Once Agnes finally regained control of herself, everyone had a sigh of relief, though this whole candy cane tasting shenanigans did taught everyone in the store.

“You know something?” Mari spoke to her friends as they left the candy store, still dazed from the events that had transpired there, “Sometimes, you can’t always successfully re-invent the wheel and expect great success from it. And candy flavors are no exceptions.”

“I agree, Mari,” Ron noted it, “They’re just like Bertie Botts’ Every Flavour Beans back home, you never know what kind of flavor your mouth is going to get until it goes inside, and the results can be very weird.”

“Absolutely on point, Ronald,” Philip nodded back, “I still don’t understand why some of those people thought it was a good idea to experiment with those kinds of flavors, even if they’re not that bad with the actual food they’re based on.”

“Well, Philip, that’s the crazy world of modern candy making to you,” Margo sighed, “Sometimes, it’s best to stick with the classics, especially during the holidays.”

The End

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the-wxtchy-half · 4 years

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“Annnnd... you’re telling me this because...?”

#i invented the sound of madness: margo #a rare moment: open starter #not divulging anything: convos

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the-wxtchy-half · 4 years

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Open Starter: Allegations

“Any allegations made against me regarding the continued absence of the Cromwell spellbook should be disregarded as rumors at best and outright lies at worst. No one has any proof and I really don’t know what to tell you people anymore.”

Unless she were to spout off the whereabouts of where she and Dexter had buried the spellbook, anyways, and she wasn’t about to do that. “Besides, how much am I really supposed to say about it? Just ‘cuz I was here when things happened? Wow, real progressive thinkin’ around here.”

#i invented the sound of madness: margo #a rare moment: open starter

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the-wxtchy-half · 4 years

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Closed Starter: Feelings Suck

Monster.

I told you to squash that part of you.

Your only option is to rely on your witch half.

Run to your father, like you always did before I left.

Margo's head swims with all the things that her parents had said. Everything she was always told about herself, her life...

She knew what she was going to do. But she owed him this last goodbye.

So the blonde knocks on Dexter's door, a half-mortal with feelings and worries. "Dexy?"

@lord-of-weselton

#i invented the sound of madness: margo #in another life: dexter #feelings suck #private situations: closed starter

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the-wxtchy-half · 4 years

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Closed Starter: Oh Shit I Do Have Emotions

Margo reaches to a black chain necklace around her neck that looks like a statement piece and produces a bottle on the end out from under her shirt.

The tiny mortal part of her looks up bleakly. She seems so weak and like she’s barely holding on.

Good.

“I think it’s time we got rid of you, don’t you think? Put us both out of our misery once and for all.”

Smirking, the witch tucks the bottle back under her shirt and starts to head off-campus into the woods... only to stop when someone grabs her arm. She turns around ready to fling hexes and is still considering it when she sees who it is, but letting him suffer emotionally usually seems better to her. “Hiya, Dexter.”

@lord-of-weselton

#i invented the sound of madness: margo #in another life: dexter #heartless madness #oh shit i do have emotions #private situations: closed starter

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the-wxtchy-half · 4 years

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🗝!

“Did’ya know my mom left when I was little? I always acted like she was a bigger part of my life, no one really knew any better even on the Isle. But, nope, mommy darling wasn’t really a part of things with me and daddy dearest.”

#i invented the sound of madness: margo #i don't like questions much; do you?: anons

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the-wxtchy-half · 4 years

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Flashback Solo Para: Mortal

When the smoke had cleared, Margo had looked around at the familiar crappy house and turned as her father walked in.

The blonde immediately put her hands in the front pockets of her jacket at the sight, and her father had managed to get their television to work long enough to get parts of the message.

She didn’t run out right away. The Mafia could wait. She hadn’t talked to daddy dearest in some time. “So that curse in October was m--”

“Rather pathetic, not very spooky,” Kal says with a raised eyebrow as he slowly sits down. “I expected better from you, pumpkin.”

“I didn’t know my limits yet,” Margo argues, feeling defeated already. “I’d say it was pretty good! I mean, I even cursed YOU and everyone else in rehab! Under the barrier there!”

“It wasn’t scary, though, was it? If anything it was... annoying. A minor nuisance. Nobody remembers it now, do they? Now, this,” as he gestures back at where Audrey had just broadcast her message, “This is frightening. That’s how it’s done, you should take notes.”

“I--” Margo’s lip quivers and she tries to cover but he sees it.

“That’s what I thought. It’s your pesky mortal side.” Her father stands and storms right over to her, grabbing her arms while Margo tries not to cry. “I told you to squash that part of you. You’re better than that. You’re from a line of the best and brightest of Halloweentown. Your... mortal emotions, they hold you back. You’re never going to be scary like that.”

Margo clears her throat, hesitating before looking up and meeting his eyes. “I just wanted to be careful. My friends and I--”

“And that’s another thing,” her father adds as he lets her go, and Margo stumbles back as he continues. “They’ve gotten your mortal side to be softer than it was before, pumpkin. You’re more apt to give in to your mortal interests around them. You’re better than that. You’re a witch. You don’t have friends, you have allies. Partners in crime at best. Easy to get rid of and pin the blame back on. Especially that one boy, Dexter, wasn’t it?” Her father turns to her almost accusingly at the name.

Margo looks down. “...about that, he’s--”

“I don’t want to hear it. Whatever silly little notions Auradon’s given you, you need to learn to ignore them. Your mortal half will have you think you’re able to be soft with people, to be kind, but you should know you’re nothing to this family if you’re not a witch. You’re the best witch of the Isle, I made sure of that, and now you’re going to have to live up to it.”

Margo bites her lip, slowly looking back at him. Words echo a bit. But he’s right... her father knows best in terms of which side she needs to rely on.

She has to find a way to fix herself.

...after she gets off the Isle. Nodding, Margo just backs out, as her father calls after her.

“Remember that, young lady! You’ll never be anything as a mortal-- your only option is to rely on your witch half!”

Margo clears her throat and forces her tears and her emotions back as she rushes to find the rest of the Mafia. Squashing down her mortal half and pushing forward her witchy side. As she should.

#i can be a handful: solo para #i invented the sound of madness: margo #revenge revenge revenge is gonna be his: daddy dearest #event: evil audrey

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the-wxtchy-half · 4 years

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Solo Para: Mama I Could Use Some Help Here

Margo sets her shoulders a bit and takes a deep breath. Visiting daddy dearest was one thing, it was expected of her in a sense from especially him.

But this? No. This was vastly different.

Sighing, Margo walks in, ignoring the usual feeling as her magic drains out as she passes the anti-magic barrier. Clearing her throat, she walks to the desk. “I’m... here to see Serafina. I... don’t know if Kountz is still her last name.”

The nurse cocks her head slightly, but nods, gesturing for her to sign in. Before she knows it, Margo’s being shown back, and bites her lip when the woman looks back at her in shock. “Thank you,” she slowly says to the guard.

Hesitantly, she takes a step towards the table. “...hi, mommy darling.”

Her mother balks slightly. Margo bites her lip. “I... know you didn’t want anything to do with me, but I--”

“No. No, get away from me, you freak!” Her mother’s yell is enough as she gets up and backs up more. Margo holds up her hands.

“Wait, please, I--”

“No! No, do you hear me?! I don’t want anything to do with you. I left you, too, not just him. You have no right, do you understand me--?!” Serafina steps further away.

Margo feels her eyes watering up and tries to squash it back, like daddy dearest would remind her to do. “I need your advice, I didn’t mean--”

“You want my advice?” There’s a pause, and she laughs. “Run to your father, like you always did well before I walked out. He knew you better than I did, he actually understands you, you little monster!”

Margo freezes. Monster?

“I just--”

“NO! We’re done here.”

And that’s enough for staff to escort her mother out and leaves Margo standing there, frozen in shock and trembling.

Trying to squash her mortal half.

Better witch than mortal. Daddy dearest was right.

#i invented the sound of madness: margo #she's never there: mommy darling #i can be a handful: solo para

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