#i just don’t feel the same connection that i used to with them

[libraryofloveletters]

Bound By Fate

Jenson Button x Fem!Teammate Reader

series summery: the strings of life connect two people; teammates, friends, perhaps lovers. Even when you think you’ve gotten rid of him, the strings of life pull you back in. some things are just meant to be. 

author's note: this was prompted by god knows what but this is my new passion project. jenson girlies, this one is for you. shoutout to @mev33 for losing her mind over this with me <333

bound by fate taglist!

chapter one: united front

attached at the hip, jenson button and y/n l/n are the unstoppable duo. the same soul in two bodies. all but 4 points separating them. // “where you go, I go. What you see, I see. I know I’d never be me without the security of your loving arms, keeping me from harm. Put your hand in my hand and we’ll stand.” - Skyfall by Adele

chapter two: time cast a spell on you

spending nine months with someone is a long time, especially when you’re forced to be with them. feelings grow, both good and bad.  - “Time cast a spell on you but you won’t forget me. I know I could have I loved you but you would not let me. I’ll follow you down ‘till the sound of my voice can haunt you. Oh give it just a chance. You’ll never get away from the sound of a woman that loves you.” - Silver Springs by Fleetwood Mac  

chapter three: the blame is on you

two mclarens spin out, drivers at each other’s throat but only one’s to blame. what’s said on track doesn’t always stay there. - “It’s my own design, it’s my own remorse. Help me to decide, help me make the most of freedom and of pleasure, nothing ever lasts forever. Everybody wants to rule the world.” - Everybody Wants To Rule The World by Tear For Fear 

chapter four: no grace

jenson can’t take it anymore; the back stabbing, the betrayal. he did what he thought was best and left. on what was supposed to be the happiest night of y/n’s life, she’s heartbroken and upset. — “I didn’t have it in myself to go with grace, so the battleships will sink beneath the waves. You had to kill me, but it kills you just the same. Cursing my name, wishing I stayed. You turned into your worst fears and you’re tossing out blame, drunk on this pain. Crossing out the good years and you’re cursing my name, wishing I stayed.” -  My Tears Ricochet by Taylor Swift 

chapter five: the final tango

y/n and jenson find themselves front and centre, smiling for the cameras in their sunday bests, yet their hearts are in different places. - “it hurts to be something, it’s worse to be nothing with you. I’ve done the math, there’s no solution. We’ll never last. Why can’t I let go of this?” -  Promise by Laufey 

chapter six: secrets of us

when all is said and done, it’s never really over, is it? jenson spills far too much in a tell-all interview that back fires on both he and y/n. - “And you don’t seem to understand, a shame you seemed an honest man. And the fears you hold so dear will turn to whisper in your ear. And you know what they say might hurt you and you know that it means so much, and you don’t even feel a thing.” -  Duvet by Bôa

chapter seven: a chapter of me

four long years have passed, both y/n and jenson are in different places of life but they find themselves at Silverstone, together once again. jenson’s a commentator and y/n’s still a racer. seems the dust has settled. - “Just wanna let this story die, and i’ll be alright. We can’t be friends, but I’d like to just pretend. You cling to your papers and pens, wait until you like me again.” -  We Can’t Be Friends by Ariana Grande 

chapter eight: a glimpse into the past

people come and go, life moves on; that has always been your view. you can’t move on when your past comes back to haunt you. -  “So I ask myself, do I let you go or do I keep you in the frame of my mind? Now I’m growing wise to your sugar coated lies, nothing’s sweet about my misery. Yeah, I finally found what went wrong, i finally found the wrong in you.” - On My Mind by Jorja Smith

chapter nine: twelve steps forward, one step back

the final race of your life, mixed emotions truly. your career was one out of a movie, you’re waiting for the final shoe to drop and when it does, it hits you hard. - “Isn’t it strange? I am still me, you are still you, in the same place. Isn’t it strange how people can change from strangers to friends, friends into lovers, and strangers again?” - Strange by Celeste

epilogue - chapter ten: the last bow

life post retirement is a funny thing, you thought you’d be having fun but you’re bored out of your mind. a solo trip results in seeing a ghost from your past.  -  “I'm sure we're taller in other dimension, you say we’re small and not worth a mention. You’re tired of movin’, your body’s achin’. We could vacay, there’s places to go. Clearly this isn’t all that there is, can’t take what’s been given. But we’re so okay here, we’re doing fine.” - White Ferrari by Frank Ocean 

#bound by fate series #jenson button #jenson button x reader #jenson button x you #jenson button x y/n #jenson button f1 #f1 x reader #f1 x you #f1 x female reader #f1 x y/n #f1 imagine #f1 series

[crazylittlejester]

I’m gonna go on a crazy ass rant because I’m upset and also very tired

A huge reason as to why I characterize Warriors the way that I do, regarding his fear of being poisoned and his food anxiety, is a way to explain myself and my own anxieties caused by my allergies, because when I say to someone I don’t think I can eat the food at the party/function/their house EVEN IF it was specifically made to be free of my allergens, they just don’t understand why I can’t eat it. They just don’t understand that just because it’s ‘safe’ doesn’t mean I feel safe enough to eat it, because there’s always that lingering ‘What if’ in my mind that food made outside of my vision is contaminated somehow.

It is so HARD to explain to people the genuine fear that you are going to die because a food created an odd texture in your mouth and you gave yourself a panic attack over nothing. It breaks my heart every time I go to my friends house and her mom offers to make me food because I’ve been at her house for thirteen hours and haven’t eaten a meal with them, because even though she cleans everything and offers to let me watch her make it, there’s still this loud screaming voice in my mind saying that that food is not safe to eat. And it just NEVER goes away. I feel awful because her mom is so sweet and willing to help me, and I just can’t ever accept because I manage to convince myself it’s contaminated every time

I have been dealing with this for my entire life and never not once have I been able to get someone to understand what this feels like or seen it shown in a media form anywhere. I’ve had family and therapists both just tell me to get over myself, because I’m being ‘ridiculous’ and the craziest thing to me EVER is that for the first time in nineteen years, I have had an outlet to throw this frustration into. Warriors and the food issues I have given him are so important to me because for the first time in my life I can explain this fear through a character and even if people may not relate or really, truly get what it’s like, they understand. They understand and they recognize it as a valid fear, and it’s because of a fanfiction about a traumatized war hero. (which is INSANE to me that this is what it took for people to understand, but you know what, I’ll take it)

This rant was inspired because I opened a sealed container of ice cream and the allergen labels were incorrect and now I can’t eat it and I’ve wasted money and I’m so upset and it’s been a really long week, but also because I never saw anyone talking about this when I was a kid, and if I’d had someone there to represent me like this, or just be there for me to connect with, I would’ve felt a lot better. Understanding allergies and food restrictions is so important for so many reasons, the most important being that if you know how to help someone, you can save their LIFE. And for other people who feel the same way I do, it’s so GOOD to know you’re not alone and that there’s someone out there who gets what you’re dealing with

If I can make people understand what it’s like to live life this way, then that is so important to me. If I can explain to people what to do in an emergency situation because their friend is having a allergic reaction, I will, because not enough people understand how allergies work, and I’m sick and tired of hearing stories about kids with allergies who were peer pressured into eating when they didn’t feel comfortable and then suffering the consequences, and I am TIRED of seeing companies mislabel their fucking food.

Also do NOT be afraid to ask any friends or classmates or coworkers with allergies how to use an epi pen because You Could Save Their Life. If anyone is curious, I’LL tell you, or look up a youtube video I’m sure there are some on there

Anyways, this is why I give Warriors the food issues I do in my fics, for anyone else out there with allergies who’s ever felt invalidated by people telling them their anxieties were stupid, and so people who have no idea what it’s like to fear your food will kill you can try to understand that this is the irritating reality for some of your peers. (not that everyone with allergies has this exact experience, I have a friend with allergies who just eats whatever and prays it wont kill them, but I know now that there are plenty of people out there with allergies who DO have this experience)

Sorry for kinda ranting, (I’m just a little guy 🥺), but this is something that is so hugely important to me, and sorry Warriors but you had too similar of a problem so now you get my exact issues 🫶

#linked universe #lu warriors #tw vent #kind of?? tagging it just in case #anyways i am FINE just really annoyed 🕺🕺🕺 #jes talks #jes rambles #jes rants

[scientia-rex]

I got home from work today sneezing my head off with a right eye that won’t stop watering, took a hot shower, climbed into bed, and I haven’t climbed out since. I’m grumpy and I have a headache and if I’m not testing positive for COVID or debilitated by symptoms tomorrow I’ll still need to go to work because that’s twenty patient visits that would need to be rescheduled, usually with someone else, and that’s twenty people I’m letting down. Today I did one of my patented 45-second Pap smears (if it takes longer than that, your doctor needs to get better!) for someone with vaginal atrophy from menopause (it is both very common and very treatable) and she was in disbelief. (This time it was more like 30 seconds.) I saw a suicidally depressed patient who’s clinging to life with both hands and I changed their meds last week and I am not making them wait to see me. I cleaned a wound no one else gave a shit about and I saw a bitter pissy Republican Party bigwig who has terrible anxiety and depression she doesn’t tell anyone about, who’s alienated everyone but who I can still convince to try treatment.

I do my job on hard mode on purpose. I like being important—who doesn’t? I like being legendary, I like that when people move to town and ask for doctor recommendations on Facebook so many people mention me that other patients feel compelled to tell me about it. I got nominated for best doctor in our local region last year. (I didn’t win, out of 5 nominees.) But when I’m sick, when I’m the kind of sick that can be hidden easily, the kind of sick I was always expected to go to school and rotations and residency with, it’s so hard. I hate exposing patients, even to a cold, but the benefits of receiving care are probably enough to outweigh the chance of transmission. I wrestle with myself: if I call in, it starts a ripple effect. Can they get a per diem from their “pool” (of three) to come in? Can they reschedule my patients with me? I don’t have any open spots for five weeks. Can they open same days? None available for three weeks. Can they open blocked spots? That’s going to make my life hell when I come back from being sick. That’s clinic staff calling twenty patients, trying to reach them. That’s twenty patients who feel abandoned. They can know intellectually that doctors get sick too, but they don’t believe it. They take it personally. I have seen this over and over again, until I had to believe it.

It is so EASY for people who don’t do this job to tell me how I’m doing it wrong. “Just stay home!” Oh, okay, you want to tell the person whose chronic opioids I’m supposed to write for that I can’t? You want to put the nurses through getting the on-call to write a bridge prescription? I write more ADHD meds than most of my peers—usually a lot more. You want to tell my colleagues to write meds they’re uncomfortable with? How about tell my suicidal patients (which is a lot of them!) that the provider they know and trust after months or years will be replaced today by a 70-year-old white man who still thinks they should pull themselves up by their bootstraps? Tell my queer patients that they have to wait until I’m better and back to get their hormones and their STI screenings, reschedule a Pap someone was dreading. Every day is a kaleidoscope of opportunities to make a real connection with “difficult” patients. I’m good at it. I may be the best at it at my clinic.

I don’t hate calling in sick just because the clinic manager is a judgy bitch, though that doesn’t help. I hate it because of what it does to my patients. And it’s not simple. Pretending it is does all of us a disservice. I am not a widget. I am not easily replaceable. You can’t plug any of our per diems (all men, 2/3 white, 2/3 old, 1/3 a Bitcoin bro) into my place and call it an equivalent, and my schedule is already so packed that if I call in sick, patients will be guilt-tripping me about it for months. I’m not kidding. That happens every single time.

Christ alive, I wish it was true that doctors never got sick.

#the attending dr. kristophine

[lokiisdaddyblog]

𝐌𝐲 𝐏𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬: 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟏

𝐋𝐨𝐤𝐢 𝐱 𝐏𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬!𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 | 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: 𝐬𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐚𝐛𝐮𝐬𝐞 |

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: 𝐋𝐨𝐤𝐢 𝐟𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐬 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐡𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐲𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐀𝐥𝐟𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐦.

*Probably will make this a multi part thing but idk I’ll see how it goes🙃*

You finished plaiting the last braid in your hair before continuing your peaceful stroll along the rushing river in the queens gardens.

You had been welcomed most warmly that dawn by the king and queen of Asgard, but as the princes were on a mission fighting in another realm, you were still yet to meet them.

As a light elf, you had the most radiant spirit and connected deeply with nature. You were a princess, yes, but that wasn’t always what you prioritised. You generally never dressed like one and you never cared for the politics of it all. One of the main reasons you were here now, on Asgard.

After your mother's passing, your father believed that if you spent time around this royal family, that ‘perhaps you’ll learn the proper manners of a princess’, as he had said.

You scoff at the memory. It may have only be recent, but, life hasn't been the same since your mother died. Your father is cold and distant. Life is lonely and dull.

Hour pass as you remain in the gardens, surrounded by animals and natural beauty. So lost in your own train of thought, you don’t even notice that someone has entered your presence.

“I do not believe that maids are allowed unaccompanied in the queens gardens.” The smooth voice snaps your from your trance and you turn to look over your shoulder.

You recognise the man standing before you immediately. Maid...really? Prince Loki; tall, dark, and handsome as ever. Does he really not realise who you are?

You cock your head to the side. “Oh, right. My apologies…my prince.” You bow your head slightly and he raises a brow as you stifle a giggle and run off back to the palace entrance. You decide to reside in your room reading, until dinner time.

----

"My boys. You both look rather dashing." Frigga's soft voice floats throughout the currently empty dining hall.

"Why thank you, mother." Thor replies as Loki smiles silently in response.

"So where is this.. princess.. that is going to be staying with us?" Loki asks, trying his best to hide his intrigue. His current thoughts were solely that of the princess and mysterious 'maid' he had found in the garden earlier that day that he had never seen before.

"Coming right now, and be nice to her, please. She has just lost her mother. She is delicate." Her voice is soft and there's a sadness to it. Your mother was, after all, one of Frigga's closest friends.

The guards open the doors to the dining hall. Meekly, you walk in and bow in front of the royal family before you.

"Rise, child." Odin's voice booms and you flinch slightly.

Frigga smiles fondly and gestures for you to come over. You slowly approach, curls in your hair bouncing slightly as you hold your beautiful, long, flowing dress.

"How are you, my dear?" Frigga asks as she holds your hands in hers.

You hesitate. "I'm okay, your highness."

"Good. And please, call me Frigga." She chuckles. "Here, meet my sons. Thor, and Loki." She smiles proudly.

As you reach a hand out to shake, you realise you shouldn't. Your father would whip your hand if you did that. Not that he's there, but you won't risk it this time. You settle on a curtsy.

"Welcome to Asgard, princess. We are more than happy to have you." Thor shouts kindly. You smile in return, feeling an odd sense of comfort from the large man.

You look over, making eye contact with Loki. He stares back at you, stunned, eyeing you up and down with a curious smirk. You blush and try not to laugh.

"It would seem that Prince Loki and I have actually met already."

---

The room bustled with people, eating their various foods and chatting about nothing. Small talk this, small talk that. Empty conversations will be the death of you.

"So, princess Y/n. How is your father faring?" A rough voice from beside you asks.

You groan internally.

"Quite well. Thank you." You reply through gritted teeth. You smile and silently stand there in hopes that unfamiliar man will leave. But, he doesn't.

"And how is life on Asgard treating you?" Another question you can roll your eyes at.

"Well considering I've been here barely a day, how about I get back to you on that one another time." You throw him a sour smile, handing him your drink before walking away curtly.

You find yourself standing alone in the corner as the night pursues. It seems that gossip travels rather fast here on Asgard as people were already whispering and casting judging glances. Perhaps you were too unnecessarily rude to the man. Well, who cares, maybe it means you can go home quicker.

"You do not care for dancing?" A husky voice asks from behind you.

"You do not care for approaching people like a normal person?" You don't need to turn around to know who it is.

He shrugs, no standing beside you. "I am not a normal person. It is simply part of my charm."

"Well that I sure do not care for." You cross your arms. How much longer until this is over.

"Ouch. You itch so badly to get out of here." He says quietly as he looks out onto the sea of people, who are starting to stare even more so now that you're talking to their prince.

"Don't you?" You scoff. "Look. I've been here a day and already all these people hate me."

"They do not hate you. They simply...misunderstand you, I suppose. Take your honesty as hostility." He shrugs.

"I said one thing! Just the one!" You raise one finger to emphasise and he chuckles in amusement.

"You will get over it, and I assure you, they will too." He tells you, as if he has experienced this before too.

Your eyes widen as you come to a shocking realisation. "If this news gets back to my father he is going to kill me."

Loki scoffs. "Please, with something this tame? I doubt it, princess."

His use of the words princess makes your stomach flip but you ignore the feeling and mumble incoherently back to him.

"I need to shower and organise my room with all my stuff." You say, changing the subject as you anxiously bite your nails, counting down the seconds till you can leave already.

"You do know there is maids for that, right?" He replies smugly, hands tucked into his pockets.

"Yes.. but you do know I'm not one of them, right?"

----

#loki #loki x reader #marvel #loki fanfic #loki laufeyson #loki odinson #loki oneshot #loki laufesyon x reader #loki fluff #loki smut #loki angst #loki x y/n #loki x princess reader #loki story

[squib-2006]

I have an idea

An au where Kai never shows up to the chens noodle house meeting cuz he was mad at what Lloyd said and instead ends up going deeper into ninjagos crime scene.

* Kai gets pissed at Lloyd callling him selfish and ends up getting really drunk and misses the meeting with Lloyd jay and Cole

* On his way back he accidentally falls into one of the canals and almost drowns. He manages to get out but a passer by recognizes him and saw him fall in but didn’t see him come back up

* Kai gets back to where ever he’s staying and promptly passes out for like three days

* The person that saw him fall in calls the cops and they assume Kai drowned and begin searching for his body

* Lloyd and the others at this point are already at chen’s island.

* Nya gets a call from the police about Kai and she like them assumes he drowned.

* She begins looking for Lloyd and the others to tell them that Kai’s gone then gets wrapped up in all the Chen stuff

* Kai wakes up to find that he’s on the news for being dead

* He decides to take advantage of this and decides to just go by shogun now

* He also decides to “pretend” to be female cuz he’s to recognizable no ther reason totalyyyy (yes this is a transfem Kai au cuz I do what I want)

* Meanwhile with the ninja when they catch up with Nya they learn that Kai’s dead and are very upset about it

* Chen also fails in his plans because he doesn’t have all the elements and when he try’s to use the spell the staff explodes killing him & clouce

* Skylor is arrested and put into kryptarium for working with her dad (this is very important I promise)

* Lloyd feels really bad about Kai because the last time they spoke he said really mean stuff and he wonders if Kai fell in somehow related to that.

* Meanwhile Kai begins making connections in the crime sphere in ninjago. She wears a disguise (a mask, dress large jacket and other clothing to hide her identity) and grows a reputation for herself

* She eventually starts to notice how shitty life is for lower class citizens of ninjago city and how the criminals and the upper class take advantage of that.

* She starts helping these people (mainly orphans) and creates a safe haven for them where all of them can live safely under her protection.

* She amasses a following for the people she helped + some criminals who have kinda changed their ways and they become a pretty big gang in ninjago city (I don’t have a name for this yet)

* With the ninja morro happens but garmadon takes the place of Kai in it cuz he never got banished (just imagine morro got let out by clouse on accident cuz he still attempted to banish garm but failed) and everything is basically the same up until they confront ronin

* Back with Kai a few months before Lloyd gets possessed she ran into a girl on the street named Natalie. Natalie claims to be an orphan and Kai does what she normally does when she finds a poor starving orphan on the street, she scoops her up and brings her back to her shelter (I don’t have a name for this yet either)

* Turns out Natalie is actually ronins daughter. She used to live with her parents in Styx (ronin was still doing ronin stuff so he was constantly gone all the time and she mainly lived with her mom) until one day ronin refused to pay soul archer his debt and souls archer went after his family. Nat’s mom ends up sacrificing her self to protect nat and nat runs away after. She ends up in ninjago city all alone.

* Kai after learning this decides to go and have a chat with ronin (because no one hurts her kids the people under her protection) and she runs into the ninja + garm when she goes to confront ronin (it’s when the ninja try and steal the scroll much to garms dismay because he’s still trying to be good)

* She panics but is slightly relieved when non of the ninja recognizes her (definitely helps that she’s wearing a mask and feminine clothes) ronin does tho due to his connections and questions her on why she’s here

* She doesn’t speak and just attacks him (she’s too worried the ninja will recognize her voice and she thinks that they won’t agree with what she’s doing and will be mad at her)

* So chaos ensues and Kai ends up leaving once she realizes Lloyd’s been possessed by a ghost and decides to dip to not interfere with the ninja’s mission anymore

* The season goes on as planned but the ninja now know who “shogun” is thanks to ronin. Lloyds a bit suspicious because of Kai’s red shogun name but guesses that maybe she was inspired by Kai or it’s just a coincidence.

* When Kai gets back she learns that some of her group members got arrested while trying to stop a fight between two other groups and decides to brake them out of kryptarium

* Cue skylors entrance

* Skylor manages to try and escape in the chaos of Kai’s brake in and almost escapes but is cornered by some guards

* Kai who’s crawling through the vents to get out while her group members have already escaped stops when she sees skylor getting cornered. Cue the love at first sight thing and she decides to help Skylor escape cuz she’s so pretty

* Skylor accepts Kai’s help and they escape and Kai brings her to her shelter

* Skylor has had a lot of time to reflect on her self during her imprisonment and is now glad her dad died cuz she really hated being evil

* Kai and Skylor grow closer together as Skylor joins the group and eventually Kai confesses her true identity cuz she trusts Skylor

* Skylor is confused at first because the ninja put her in prison and evreything but is ok with it because of how different Kai is

* Skylor is transfem in this au too! She she helps Kai realize that she’s not pretending to be a girl and helps her except herself

* They eventually form a romantic bond and skylor takes up a new persona to work under (I don’t have a name for it yet) to match Kai’s shogun persona

That’s all I have for now but this was all rattling around in my brain and I had to write it down

Other important stuffs

* Kai’s more morally grey in this au

* She kinda becomes similar to Jason Todd in the way she acts with her shogun persona

* She basically unofficially adopts all the orphan kids she lets stay in her shelter they all call her big sis sho

* In her group she has her close lieutenants (all ocs that I’m still thinking about names for) including skylor as her right hand woman

* She is a wanted criminal because she has broken some laws

* She doesn’t really use her powers or spinjitzu unless it’s really dire circumstances cuz it could be trailed back to her life as a ninja

* She’s kinda scared of seeing her the ninja again because she feels like she’s betrayed everything they stand for by being morally grey and doing borderline bad things

Feel free to ask me questions about this au (might help me come up with more ideas for it)

#ninjago #lego ninjago #kai ninjago #ninjago kai #ninjago au #kai jiang #kai smith #skylor chen #skylor ninjago #transfem Kai #crime lord Kai au #kai <3 #I apologize for any spelling mistakes I suck at spelling crap dispite English being my first language #Kai gets to be morally grey as a treat #I’m gunna be working on my ocs for this tho #I have never been more attracted to an au idea besides this one #most of my au’s rot in my brain or my notes app but this one was too good not to yap about

[fiveredlights]

Okay I need to know things from literally ALL of the wip’s 😂

But I guess the ones that intrigue me the most are the post AUS2024 fic, the alternate Vegas 2023 story and the lmao daniel retirement fic!!

But like I said, I want to know all things lol! You are like one of my favourite authors ❤️

P.S. please feel no pressure to update, write or anything. Take your time

beth you ask and i will dutifully answer, gonna put everything under the cut because this is a long post 🫡

snippets: ausgp 2024/you're on another path

so fun fact about this one i wrote it post quali, and i had planned to post it after the race was done so i a "pre-wrote" two endings. i wasn't going to because i was gonna be like "oh max will win but something bad might happen to daniel" so i had this ready to go:

and i was sitting in the grandstand watching max's car explode in the pitlane and all i could think about was "did i do this. again" and honestly who knows.

Daniel’s already lying down face first on the bed when Max makes it back to their hotel room. He’s been doing it a lot recently after races, opening the door to their hotel room and just starfishing on the bed, unmoving until Max gently coaxes him to actually sleep. 

God, if his twenty-something year old self could see him now. 

Yeah, you’re back at the team you started with—no not HRT, that’s gone now, yes the Red Bull—not junior—sister team. The Red Bull seat? Yeah, not yours anymore, and it’s looking like it’s gonna stay that way. No, no podium at your home race, more like qualifying P18 because you were an idiot and drove over track limits. Points? Well, you had a good chance but I guess luck just wasn’t on your side yet again. 

Oh, and that young and upcoming driver from the Netherlands? Yeah, he’s your boyfriend now—surprise, you’re gay! And he’s a three time world champion, but that’s probably not important. 

Any one of those things would’ve sent Daniel into hospital, but all of those things combined? 

Early death. 

snippets: las vegas 2025/bonus fic reimagined

(i'm going to assume you mean las vegas 2025 and i'll give you both)

Max isn’t winning right now. 

He couldn’t really tell you why. 

Plenty of pundits, fans, strangers on the street have stopped him and asked him to dissect why he hasn’t won a championship in the past two years. He gives them a hastily PR trained and approved answer that seems to be more conscious in his mind now than before and cracks a well timed joke he’s sure his teammate would be proud of. 

Then Daniel comes along and will say, “Max already has three, he’s got to leave some for the rest of us!”, and the conversation will usually move on quickly after that. 

He knows that Daniel isn’t the sole reason for his non-winning ways right now, but when the eventual news of their relationship happens to drop, there’ll be dissections for days on if Daniel plays a part in Max’s performance right now. 

The last time Max hadn’t won a championship was when Daniel Ricciardo was with Red Bull, surely there’s some connection there?

snippets: las vegas 2025/don't read the last page

(Max is italics, Daniel is not.)

Max 🩵

July 31, 2025

...

I may have accidentally 

I swear it was an accident 

Like I pinky promise swear to our first born child

Don’t bring Matilda into this

Did you murder someone

What

Why is that your first thing

You are making a big deal out of it

Like bigger than the podcast you did in January

So I have to assume you murdered someone

Okay well it’s not murder but nice to know you think I’m capable of it

Daniel

I forgot to take off my wedding ring and wore it in the paddock and people saw and I got asked about in the press conference 

They definitely thought I was just engaged so I guess that’s just a silver lining

And you have a bet with Lando over when I was going to accidentally do this

Which is rude because I would never do the same to you Maxy

You literally have a bet with Fernando over if I’m going to slip up and say husband in an interview

How do you know that

And he’s Fernando you know you can’t say no to him

Daniel

When you came out you literally posted a photo of me on your Instagram

The whole paddock knows we are married

Half of them went to our wedding

About 85% of fans think we are in a relationship because you keep on teasing them with photos that is definitely me

Is it so bad that we just say yeah we’re married

We are literally about to have a kid

Okay well when you put it like that

I guess you’re right 

I know

I’m always right

snippets: lmao daniel retirement

They asked him if he wanted a big farewell thing, like they had done with Sebastian and Kimi a couple years back. 

He’d almost said no until Lando pulled a face and said “Mate, people’s last memory of you driving can’t be you heading to the pitlane again.” 

So he agreed. Told Blake to tell them to keep it minimal. No standing on giant mockups of his face during the national anthem or whatever. 

#wip game #maxiel #five writes #queued

[joltik-guy]

[Electros plan]

{off screen post}

Joltik was so tired. The kind of tired that made your brain turn to mush inside your skull, that let the corners of your vision turn white. The kind of tired that wouldn’t go away.

The public hated them. Everyone hated them. And yet new vilgilantes popped up everyday, earning love and interest from the public. Paco, and now Juniper? It was pathetic. They did this before it was cool. Before it was common. What- do they just get all of the praise and attention, while Joltik fades into obscrurity. It wasn’t fair. People choosing this! They didn’t choose this!

Their vision goes completely white for they don’t know how long- it didn’t feel longer than a second- but it seemed to be morning, judging by the equipment lighting up, or maybe it wasn’t. They didn’t see sunlight anymore, their vision was far too degraded for that.

Their eyes almost immedaitly snapped to Electro, (HOW DID SHE GET IN!?)  who glowed like the sun should. She grinned, standing behind glass, in a room Joltik was yet to enter. She stood on her tippy toes, attempting to set up some TVs, with several more already organised.

“Oh hello! Decided to join us have you?”

She’d been in for a while- and they hadn’t noticed. They had failed- no- not entirely. Not yet.

The jerk upright- their only goal now is to get to her. To get her.

“I can’t believe you sleep with you eyes open! Freaky!”

She giggled, adjusting the last TV, and moving to connect some wires.

Joltik reached the door, but yanking on the handle revealed it was locked. Electro tuts, sitting down on a swivel chair and sliding to a large computer in the room, typing faster than what seemed to be humanly possible.

“You’re not allowed in yet! I’m not done! You should’ve invested in some more sleep- you look terrible hah-”

Joltiks fists clench, attempting to smash the glass, in one swing. It doesn’t work. Even with their superhuman strength- it bounces off the glass, only leaving their hand throbbing. They look up at her, not in any humour for this.

“I fucking hate you.”

She turns around to face them at this, her face almost showing something akin to disappointment.

“Oh- I know. I know you do.”

At that moment, the door clicks open, seemingly for no reason, and joltik rushes in without thought. They lunge at her- only for her to take a step back onto the a wire carefully placed and glitch out of sight.

Joltik blinks.

What.

The door clicking closed again sickened them to their stomach. Turning revealed her.

Outside of the room. Standing on a wire, grinning wider than ever, some sort of remote in her hand. She walks up to the glass as the tv’s flicker to life.

“Oh I didn’t think you’d fall for that! But hey- Thank you for making this easy!”

Joltik frantically looks around the room, turning in a small circle. They were trapped. Their head began to sting as their joltik senses fired off, everything was wrong. So wrong. This was bad.

All of the TV’s begin to play the same footage. Black and white security footage of their last fight with electro. The villains on the screen begin to bicker.

Electro grins maniacally, rocking on her feet. Everything was falling into place perfectly.

Joltik walks to the oppisite side of the room, where a large sturdy looking machine sits, attempting to pull it apart yeilded the same results as trying to damage the window. Yet they keep trying.

The TVs playing joltik yelling out "You think I wanted this? Any of this? YOU THINK I WANT TO SPEND MY TIME FIGHTING YOU!?" makes them freeze. 

Electro continues her monolouge.

“That really made me think, bug guy. I thought you wanted this- you wanted to be some sort of hero- but you sound bitter. You sound angry.”

Joltik gets back to attempting to break the glass dividing them,

“I am angry- LET ME OUT!”

“I’ve looked over your account, and honestly. I’m doing you a favour here.”

Joltik continues punching the glass, feeling something crack in their hand. Electro hears it and winces, tilting her head

“See- you’re destroying yourself- You always have, always will.”

The TVs start to play different footage this time, it seems like a compalation of joltik being injured, or hurt in their line in their work, including the infamous fight with minskt. She seems to have put a lot of work into this.

“I used to want to use this machine on myself- undo the rotom hybridity that was gifted to me, but I think you’re a much better candidate.”

Joltiks blood runs cold

“What.”

“Once this is over you’ll be normal! Just like you want! Just like you’ve always wanted!”

She begins to click buttons on the remote. The machine behind them making ‘power up’ noises

“NO – I DON’T WANT THAT- I DO NOT WANT THAT”

“Oh but you do! And your friends do too! It’ll be so much better for both of us. You’ll get what you want and I won’t have to deal with you bothering me anymore!!”

“LET ME OUT PLEASE PLEASE- PLEASE STOP THIS LET ME OUT!”

Electro giggles, before turning to joltik, any fun in her expression gone,

“It will hurt less if you’re still.”

With that the machine comes to life.

It was hard to tell if their screams were louder, or the machine itself.

#joltik guy #//off screen post #irl pkmn #pokemon roleplay #pkmn rp #pokemon #irl pokemon #pokereality #pokeblog rp #rotumblr #pokemon unreality #rotomblr

[totaldivide]

Mini Crochet Vash the Stampede Pattern

Mini crochet Vash the Stampede

This one is the dark palette but it works for any colors

None of this is done in a round as in you have to slip stitch after each round.

I used DMC thread for all of this, but I could not tell you what specific colors just: pale yellow, red, black (or for dark Vash, a dark purple instead of red). I used a 1.15 mm hook for this whole thing and a quilting needle, which is just a really short sewing needle (an inch or so long).

Mc = magic circle

Sc = single crochet, American terms

Sl st = slip stitch

Head: *I used a pale white thread color for this you can obv use whatever* start with a magic circle || sc 6 in the circle, sl st to first stitch (6) || ch 1, sc 2 in each stitch to increase to 12, sl st (12) || ch 1, sc 1, sc 2 in same stitch, repeat 5 times, sl st (18) || ch 1, sc 2, sc 2 in same stitch, repeat 5 times, sl st (24) || ch 1, sc 24, repeat 3 times for a total of 4 rounds of 24 scs, sl st (24) || ch 1, sc 2 dec 1, repeat 5 times, sl st (18) (you can start to stuff it here, I used less than a cotton ball for the whole thing) || ch 1, sc 1 dec 1, repeat 5 times, sl st (12) || ch 1, dec every stitch, sl st (6) || cut the thread but leave enough so you can sew it to the body *Do NOT pull the hole closed. It’s going to be the neck hole where you attach to the body.

Legs: *in black thread* mc || sc 4 in the circle, sl st (4) (Tip: I would recommend waiting to close the hole until the next step because it makes it easier to see where the stitches are) || ch 1, sc1, sc 2 In same stitch, repeat again, sl st, (6) || ch 1, sc 6, sl st, repeat 2 more times for a total of 5 rows (6) || cut the thread and stuff it || you can also hide the thread ends here if you want I just stuffed them at the bottom when putting in the stuffing. For the second leg just repeat the above steps.

Body: *change to red thread* connect to one of the legs anywhere that feels secure | ch 2 (this just gives some distance between the legs), sl st to the other leg, ch 1, sc 5, sc 2 in one side of the ch 2 from before, sc 5, sc 2 in the other side of the ch 2, sl st (14) ||ch 1, sc 14 (14) || ch 1, dec to 11 it doesn’t really matter where you do it as long as they’re evenly spaced, sl st (11) || ch 1, sc 11, three more times for a total of 4 rows of 11, sl st (11) || ch 1, dec to 9, again, it doesn’t matter where, sl st (9) || ch 1, sc 9, sl st (9) || cut the thread and hide the ends

Arms: *change to black thread* mc || ch 1, sc 4 in the circle, sl st (4) (I recommend not pulling the hole closed yet because it is hard to see) || ch 1, sc 4, three more times for a total of 4 rows of 4, sl st (4) || cut the thread and hide the ends. repeat the steps for the second arm. You don’t have to stuff these because they’re so little :D

Decorations (using red thread):

               Arm 1- ch 5, sl st to make it a circle || ch 1, sc 5 for two rows, sl st (5) || cut the thread but leave enough to sew securely to arm.

               Arm 2- ch 5, sl st to circle || ch 1, sc 5 for four rows, sl st (5) || cut thread and leave enough to sew to the shoulders.

               Chest- ch 12, sl st || ch 1, sc 12, slst (12) || ch 1, sc 2 in same stitch (1st and 2nd stitches), sc 6, sc 2 in same stitch (8th and 9th stitches),  sc 5, sl st (14) (this is to make the shoulders point out a little) || ch 1, sc 2 in same stitch (1st and 2nd stitches), sc 6, sc 2 in same stitch (9th and 10th stitches), sc 6, sl st (16) || ch 1, sc 2 in same stitch (1st and 2nd stitches), sc 7, sc 2 in same stitch (10th and 11th stitches), sc 7, sl st (18) || sew to the main body by stabbing through the waist line, cut thread

               Shoulders- (this one goes in the empty spot between the main body and the chest piece from above) ch 5, turn, sc 2, skip a chain, sl st to last chain, pull through and cut thread (2 ½) || sew into the empty space on the shoulder. You can also attach the arms after finishing this, hopefully I will remember to include a photo to show where to attach them.

               Legs? Train? - ch 9, sc 8, sl st (8) || ch 1, sc 8, sl st (8) || repeat 4 more times for a total of 5 pieces and attach to chest piece, one centered around the front, two on either side of that, and two in the back. If there is extra space in the back, you can make a sixth one and space the pieces more evenly in the back.

               I would recommend attaching his head at this point, but we will add hair and the face later

               Collar- ch 11, sc 15 (inc every other) (15), sew to the neck of the jacket.

               Buttons- (using black thread) sew 2 french knots on the collar (you can hide the thread by either going through the back of his head or through his chest), then maneuver the needle to the jacket and sew either 6 or 4 french knots (depends on how much room you have), three on both sides, and then finally, on the train of his jacket, make 12 french knots with 6 on both sides.

Hair: his hair is a little complicated to explain but I’ll try my best. Using a light yellow and black thread, tie a whole bunch of knots to his head wherever you want his hair line (I was just pulling the thread through until it got close to the end, and then tying a knot and cutting it quite long so make sure you have plenty of thread) You shouldn’t be making it too thick at the front because then his hair won’t lay right. It can be a little thicker at the back of his head because we will have to cut it quite short when we get to that point. I don’t know how many knots I tied or where because it really just depends on the shape of his head. But once you’re finished tying all the knots try to press the hair down and shape it a little before cutting it (remove knots if you have to it happens all the time). When everything looks good then go ahead and start cutting. It may take a while to get the shape as you want it but go slow.

Face: I started with a light blue this time (because with the first Vash I gave him black eyes). It just takes some trial and error to get the eyes right because this also depends on the shape of the head but definitely make sure they’re evenly spaced lol. I think I did 4 sets of lines for each eye to get the size right. After that I used black thread pierced through the back of his head to make… eyelashes, I suppose… and the mouth.

#phew this one was hard lol #please be nice to me ive never written a pattern before #this is all for that one person who asked for it 😙 #and any in the future #vash the stampede #trigun #crochet #mini crochet #handmade

[st-highwind]

Ramble, Bahamut Knight edition!

In my own little ffiv offshoot/au/whatever you wanna call it, I have different ideas for Kain. Ofc.

I politely and respectfully (against my will) dislike the Holy Dragoon getup. This idea initially stemmed from my dislike of the armor alone. However, the more I thought about it and as I actually played (and again, respectfully disliked) The After Years, the more the idea/concept developed.

Kain becoming a Holy Dragoon, to me, takes away from his whole spiel of “I didn’t kill off the dark parts of me, I just accepted them as part of me”. The gist of becoming a “Holy” anything is that the dark is completely purged, removed, eradicated— Kain explicitly does not “kill” his Dark Side, rather he absorbs it. The dark is there, but honed and harmonized. Of course, I don’t want this alteration or Bahamut’s involvement to detract from Kluya’s spirit recognizing Kain’s strength. I feel that that detail fiercely emphasized the bond Cecil and Kain share, for Cecil’s dead father to share power he’d once granted to his son to what I can only assume is another son figure for him. I do feel Kluya’s spirit’s involvement is a testimony to their brotherhood and devotion to one another.

I want to connect Kain to Bahamut, first and foremost. As the dragon god of the eidolons, Bahamut’s gotta know something or another about dragoons or, if we’re feeling pretentious, Mr. Highwind himself. Kain fights Lunar Bahamut during his Lunar Trial, and I want to build on that. A lot. Bahamut likely would’ve also known about the slaughter of dragoons and wyverns in the ffii storyline.

In my mind’s eye, I picture Kain defeating Dark Kain during his trial, Lunar Bahamut appearing and, upon its defeat, its scales flake off and the real Bahamut emerges like something of an odd cocoon. Hatching out of an egg, maybe. For symbolism.

(Alternatively, it would be neat for Bahamut to hatch out of an egg and parallel the last wyvern in ffii that baby Kain bonded with…but I digress)

Anyways, the real Bahamut appears in Kain’s trial. Ideally, Kain will have done a bit better in accepting the darker facets of his persona within my au given Thrush’s presence and therefore doesn’t feel the need to fuck off to Mt. Ordeals for ten years. Instead, Bahamut would appear at the end of Kain’s trial and, with Kluya’s lunarian spirit shrouding the room in some sort of magical aura, Bahamut commends Kain for his strength, resilience, and willpower. He offers to boost his strength and bestow upon him the capacity for black magic.

Kain, knowing the regality of the lunar dragon, kneels and accepts. Bahamut then inhales and unleashes a plume of flame onto the dragoon, enveloping him in a biblical cleansing flame. Once Bahamut’s breath flickers out, Kain stands in a brand new suit of armor with a new weapon fitting nicely in his hand.

“Now,” Bahamut begins, his draconic voice emanating from every corner of the room. “I declare you the Lance of Bahamut.”

Kain, as a Bahamut Knight, now possesses the ability to use black magic. He may not bolster tier 3 attack spells, and as a matter of fact, he might utilize black magic in the same way that Cecil uses white. They may lack the most useful spells that Rosa and Rydia harbor, but they make great backups and can still wail out physical damage. Kain, now with Abel’s Trident, finds that his Jump ability has been replaced with Dive Bomb, a skill that when used, adds a selected elemental charge to Kain’s jump while also increasing the damage output. He withstands magic attacks a bit better and is still a deadly quick fighter.

The development of Kain into a Bahamut Knight rather than the Holy Dragoon makes more sense in my mind as it truly does encapsulate the acceptance and control of his inner darks. It is the honing of the very facets of his persona and channeled into carving a path to his future and fully restoring his honor and dignity.

Idk. Thoughts?

#I might delete this tomorrow #it’s very very late and I have had one song on loop hallucinating the scene where Bahamut just unleashes a pillar of flame on Kain #and then Kain emerges in the sleekest fucking armor with this sick ass trident and a restored vigor #augh the worm in my brain is causing problems #help I’m having ideas beyond my creative capacity #ffiv #kain highwind #st-highwind #rambling… #sighs #I would like to kiss him on the mouth

[drivestraight]

Maxiel or Lestappen and why? I like the “predestined” type stuff with Lestappen, but I honestly don’t think they have the chemistry or depth of connection that Maxiel have. And do we ever see Max glued to the floor and flirty and bubbly and chatty with Charles as we do with Daniel? I’m not wanting to be mean - I’m genuinely curious.

i think max has been in love with daniel since he was 18 and it’s frankly embarrassing to watch but we just simply have to watch at this point. with charles i love the narrative and i love the two of them but dear God does max get embarrassing about daniel with all the hair tucks and the 👀👀 staring at him and giggling whenever he is in vicinity. daniel really did change his life and even i, the lestappie, cannot ignore that. like its all made up obviously (though i do feel like some ppl do think that lestappen are dating irl). im not as into maxiel as i used to be but frankly i go back and forth these days given all the crazy tinhat lestappen propaganda i see these days that twists interviews & moments to some sort of insane lestappen narrative. like did we watch the same cool down room? did we watch the same race? idk

but the answer is lestappen

#asks #ship asks

[8rujaa]

okay, i might let people in

#i’ve been nonstop talking to this person for a few days now #like nonstop we’ll have multiple convos going at once and having to use voice messages to catch up to everything lol #our conversations have yet to die since the first one we’ve had #it feels very very very refreshing to find someone who can keep up #and we have so many things in common but like i’ve always found myself to be a lil weird and have out of the ordinary interests #not trying to say that ‘i’m not like other girls’ LMFAO but it’s hard to find ppl with this many things in common #like one or two things i get but we’ve been able to connect on so many things #even like chronic pain which like is nice to find someone who understands #so now i’m like actually excited for the first time about meeting someone #i’m very very excited and they’re so so so sweet #i feel like i can always tell who’s been in therapy because we tend to carry conversations in a similar way … does that make sense??? 🤣 #like u know how there’s ‘gentle parenting’ #i feel like there’s a specific way people who have been in therapy speak to others #they’re always so mindful of boundaries and also reciprocal #in conversations #we also have the same taste in music which is wild cuz i listen to every genre in existence and music from many different languages/culture #our spotify blend goes crazy 🤣🤣 #we’ve only been talking for a week so i’m trying not to get my hopes up but im just excited 😆😆😆 #lmao but like even if we just end up becoming friends i’m still happy to meet someone who’s so similar :D #i’ve been wanting friends who also struggle with the same things so we can do selfcare things together or maybe just chill on high pain day #and we will know how to be there for each other a little better than ppl who don’t get it.. i crave that real bad 🥲 #i realize i sound delulu as fuck cuz i haven’t even met them in person but i can already tell we’re going to get along 😌😌😌😌 #i’m aware of how delulu i sound and maybe i’m getting my hopes up but it truly does feel like i was waiting for someone like this 🥹

[crossbackpoke-check]

Sometimes, I will come across your blog and read certain tags on certain pairs because, What? What? How are your thoughts my thoughts? How is someone else expressing (so perfectly) what I thought existed only in my head? The references (warm leftovers, please. Feel horribly proprietary over that poem.), the memes, the word choices. I know we all grew up on the same internet, but it's like we grew up in the same corner.

It rattles me each time it happens and yet, the next time I return, and wander through, reading along as if we were walking through my local arboretum and you were rambling and I was nodding along. Consider this ask my version of a reply in the arboretum world.

i-

when i got this i just had to sit there and read your message a few times because that is one of the loveliest compliments i’ve ever gotten and i hope you know i am overjoyed to be here rambling to you 💕 to have touched you in some way!! to form a connection!!! and all i can say is thank you and i love you and i would love to go for a walk in the arboretum with you any time

#no because WARM LEFTOVERS???? i think there’s a little bit of all of us who feels so proprietary over that poem #because it’s asking for a sense of ownership for a belonging and ohhhh it fucks me up every time. every time i cry and in particular #that you love that tangled-up half idea is just. so dear to me like please!! come share the brain!!! i want to listen to you!!! i fully #i don’t even. hearts for thumbs i am actually having the reaction right now of yeah sorry the idea of genuine human connection got to me. #you know how they opened up the mailboxes to trees? and people sent in poetry to them? this to me. weeping ok #liv in the replies #one of my favorite tags to yell is SAME BRAIN!!! 🧠 🧠🧠 and i get to do that with you today <3 #anyway. thank you for making my day also i PROMISE i am not scary i would love to be your friend #also the fact that i have been searching for where i pulled ‘quilted together’ from because i could not remember why for the longest time & #i think in looking yesterday i found that it was from black girls rising i-

[hinadori-chan]

low key wanna like

set up a queue for posts i like that don’t circulate anymore so that way the recirculate but also i don’t spam but like

i don’t think i’ve ever used a queue before tbh lol

#listen i’ve always been the kind of blogger where you just know what i’m about when i’m about it #but since this is more of a fandom sidespace than my actual blog maybe that’s the better route? #cause there’s a lot of really good fanart and fanfics and analytical pieces that just #don’t get as much love since they got burried by time and i wanna bring them back to the forefront becuase they’re GOOD #and people put their heart and soul and time into them and i want them to be appreciated becuase i love them and they make me happy #but also i’ve hit post limit multiple times becuase if this blog and i’m scared it’ll happen again #cause i think you still hit it with the queue too #and like #i do actually use my main blog a log and the posts come from the same pool #(pro tip for new users btw if your side blogs are connected to your main account all your posts come from a pool that your account gets) #(kind of like a deck of cards that has to be distributed between all players) #ANYWAY it might be the better move for now #i’ll stew on that while i try and get myself out of writers block #cause i’ll need to get the first draft of peghawks2023 done this weekend if i want ot done in time for the 16th #need to figure out how to trick my brain into working #had this problem in school also #the only reason i passed is because most my teachers loved me and wanted me to succeed in spite of my executive dysfunction #and my other two teachers hated me so much (adhd kid with a pension to cause problems) that they passed me #just so they never had to see me again lmao #it’s okay feelings were mutual fuck those guys #(or love those guys for the teachers that adored me) #(hope they’re doing good) #what was i talking about #RIGHT queues and writing #yeah i should go do that okay bye for now!!!

[cordrot]

okay i’m getting quite a large influx of new followers so just want to quickly put out there that i am going to limit the amount of canon portrayals i write with because i want my interactions to be meaningful and don’t want to double up on plots and things like that!! i also won’t be making a mains/exclusives call yet until i’ve had a chance to plot/write some more on here! happy to support all the portrayals but interaction wise, i will be limiting myself 🤍

#on that note if you’d like to plot please feel free to message me! #like so happy the tlou fandom is booming right now but i don’t want anyone to feel like i’m just collecting them!! #tess is everything to me and it’s super important to me that i garner meaningful connections/interactions for her #i think i will most likely limit myself to 2 portrayals per canon but idk we’ll see!!!! #i really hope this doesn’t make me seem obnoxious or snooty but i just normally won’t write with more than 2 of the same canon #because things get re-used and sometimes you end up exploring the same things so?! #but like i said i am happy to follow and support all my fellow tlou blogs even if that doesn’t mean actual writing #okay i’m done rambling this was just a quick psa because i just got a WAVE of people #i also don’t want to make people mains/exclusives until we’ve had a chance to chat a bit so pls pls pls feel free to hmu! #🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶

[unforgivingchorus]

I can’t read wings au fics very often despite loving them because the adhd/autism hits and I inevitably find myself reading about birds instead

#AimeeSpeaks #fanfiction meta #ao3 #wing au #my friends are mostly on the better empathise with animals than humans side of autism but I’m firmly on the I oppisite side #I don’t really get the humanisation or like. empathy sympathy thing for animals #I’m not cruel and I like. respect that animals have boundaries and free will and deserve respect #like I know everything in theory I just don’t feel any real attachment to animals unless it’s like rare cases #I would never support the abuse of animals which I’m already afraid people thing when I say this stuff #I just don’t emotionally connect with them at all #plus despite all my friends loving rodents I’m extremely afraid of them and hate them #all rodents. rats and mice elicit such genuine fear in me it’s not normal. I can’t think about them or I’ll get too paranoid. #I can’t touch hamsters or rabbits or stuff and would much rather not be in the same room as them #I’m neutral on most other animals. soem I don’t like and some I respect #but overall very neutral #we used to play a game on long art days where my friend would name animals and I would state my stance on them #people who were around it a lot became desensitised to how many animals I’m nuetrual or not liking on but some people expected me to love th #the point of this is not even cats or dogs intrest or elicit emotions in me. #I respect cats but find alot of them dirty (anxiety trigger for me) and am neutral to dogs #my aunts dog is generally loved by the family but sometimes I feel guilty that she seems to really like me because I like #I respect her and can like. logically guess what she’s feeling and so I can pet her when I’m overwhelmed and let her sleep next to me #when I nap at family events but. I get really guilty that I don’t feel that same level of friendliness back to her. just vague acceptance #my friends dog is the only animal I’ve ever emotionally connected with. he’s a shithead with extreme anxiety and I was very drunk. #but the point of this is I like birds #liek not just respect them like cats and lizards I like them #I want to own one #I can sympathise with them easily I don’t think their dirty and I didn’t them extremely interesting #so I can’t read about them without the autism really kicking in and making my hyperfixate on actual bird reasearch

[insanechayne]

~ ~ ~

#you know now that I’m thinking about things more clearly I’ve got more questions than answers #the way you used to talk to me and the conversations we used to have were too elevated and practiced #I was into certain groups and things for years before I eventually got out of that stuff #so I know what it sounds like when someone’s been doing it for a while even if it’s been off and on #and I have to wonder then how many other girls did you do these things with? #how many girls did you say sweet nothings to and make them feel so special and desired just to eventually drop them like you dropped me? #how long exactly have you been doing this kind of shit? #it does kind of hurt to know just how special I’m not and start connecting these dots #it does sting to see that you seem to just be like every other man trying to get what you want without caring what happens to the women #you leave in your wake #and idk maybe that’s not fair of me and maybe you did care for them on some level just like you care for me on some level #I guess I just wish you’d been more honest with me from the very beginning #sometimes wish I’d never met you at all because look how you’ve ruined my life for so many months #now I just feel stuck and angry #you are a very good close friend so I don’t want to just cut you off completely #but at the same time I feel used and like you’ve lied to me this whole time and that’s fucked #so what am I supposed to do now? is it even worth bringing any of this up to you? or will you just lie to me some more? #personal