Tumgik
#i just felt like i had to give some background
flowerandblood · 2 days
Text
The Fall from the Heavens (17)
[ dark • Aemond x Strong • niece female ]
[ warnings: angst, swearing, violence ]
Tumblr media
[ description: A cool distance turns into friendship and more when two children see that they can find refuge and understanding in each other. However, naïve dreams collide with the reality in which every event has consequences and what once could have been love becomes a dark, newly painful obsession. Angst, sexual tension, obsession, violence, madness, very dark Aemond. ]
The story in this series is an alternate reality from the oneshot Stay and love, leave and die, in which Aemond reads the letters his niece has sent to him over the years. They are the same characters and it shows what would have happened between them − I have changed the background story from their childhood slightly for the sake of the plot.
Characters & Series Moodboard
* English is not my first language. Please, do not repost. Enjoy! *
Next chapters: Masterlist
_____
Although she feared that her father and mother would hate her, although she suffered at the thought of losing her unborn sister, the day after they returned to King's Landing was the most beautiful day of her life.
After their nightly honest and painful conversation, at last they both shook off the burdens they had carried on their shoulders for so many years, confessing their regrets and thoughts to each other.
After this, there was some kind of change in her husband, as if he had expected this conversation to destroy everything once and for all, to turn them away from each other, when in fact the complete opposite had happened.
It helped.
When he took her on the table that afternoon, when she felt his thirsty, tender touch on her body, she thought that at last things were as they should be.
And then he smiled, lightly and sincerely for the first time since she had seen him years later.
Although they waited in dread for an answer from Dragonstone, this period was also a time of hope for them, the prospect of a peaceful resolution despite the approach of his grandfather and mother filled them with a reasonable calm that allowed them to take a breath.
They did everything they could.
No matter what she thought of her usurper uncle, he, unlike their grandfather, had imposed fair conditions on her mother, ones that she could in fact agree to.
The next day, like every morning, her husband was training in the courtyard with Criston Cole. Although she had been reluctant to poke her nose out of her chamber for the past few days, she now felt better and, encouraged by the beautiful cloudless sky lit by the sun, decided to go outside.
At this hour, as usual, the Red Keep seemed unusually quiet and peaceful to her, with only the guards and servants walking hurriedly past her, trying to keep up with their duties without even noticing her.
She smiled involuntarily when she heard the loud clang of steel and spotted them in the distance walking under the cloisters, just as she had then, as a child, watched her uncle duel. She thought with some kind of pride, watching the sure, swift slashes of his sword, that only Daemon could now match him in hand-to-hand combat.
She felt a pleasant satisfaction at the sight of her uncle pushing against Ser Criston, leaving no one under any illusion as to who was dominating the duel.
Cole knew that her husband had taken it out on him for what he had done to her and forced him to give in every time.
She lifted her chin higher, sighing contentedly as the blade of his sword pressed against his neck, Cole raised his hands in a gesture of surrender.
Her uncle turned the hilt of his sword in his hand and lowered it, a dangerous grin full of mockery and satisfaction on his lips. He stopped in mid-motion, his eye spotting her in the distance, seeming not to recognise her at first, and blinked, watching her from afar.
Encouraged by his attention, she walked down the stone steps into the courtyard, squinting, blinded from the sun, her husband stabbed his sword into the ground, coming towards her with a lazy step.
"What is it?" He asked uncertainly, his face expressing concern and surprise, his eye wide open, as if he could not believe she had left her chamber of her own accord.
"I have always enjoyed watching you duel. Does my husband deny me that pleasure?" She asked softly, saw his Adam's apple wave as he swallowed hard, his lips parted slightly.
"Tis not my desire." He hummed, and she felt a pleasant shiver run along her spine at his words.
She felt as if they were children again.
There was something wonderful about it, something joyful, something that made her feel a renewed desire to live.
She trembled when he tentatively raised his hand, when his fingers touched her cheek, when his thumb ran over her jawline, his eye watching her thoughtfully.
When he leaned in, when he pressed his warm lips to hers in a soft, wet kiss she felt a wonderful heat in her lower abdomen, her heart sang with pleasure, her fingers touched his wrist.
He pulled away from her, looking at her with misty gaze, she could smell his sweat, hear his quiet murmur of contentment as she stroked his cheek with her palm, when her lips placed a soft, butterfly kiss on the tip of his nose.
She knew that Criston Cole, the guards, the servants could see this and it delighted her most.
Though distrustful at first, she agreed after her husband's persuasion to accept an invitation from her uncle to dine with him and Helaena in his chamber.
She felt that in doing so, Aegon was creating a faction inside the faction, showing his mother and grandfather that the fate of what was about to happen no longer lay in their hands.
Although she believed that Alicent did in fact want to protect her children, she did not trust their grandfather and knew that Aegon had no love for him either.
As it turned out, his invitation had a double bottom.
"Furious Borros Baratheon is on his way to King's Landing with his daughter, whom he expects and agrees you should marry. I fear he will regard your secret marriage as invalid and demand that you fulfil your vows." Said her uncle, putting himself a bit of roast from the tray, handing it to his sister-wife, who looked at her uncertainly.
She felt her heart begin to pound like mad, terrified, and looked out of the corner of her eye at her husband, his lips pressed into a thin line.
"It's out of the question." He said coolly, and she felt instant relief at the thought that he hadn't changed his mind.
That he wouldn't betray her.
"I am aware of that, however, the matter is delicate and complicated. I have decided, on the advice of my wife, to simplify it. Today you will marry in the presence of the Septon."
She and her husband looked at each other in shock; the loud conversations of servants and guards could be heard from behind the open window. Aegon took a deep sip of wine from his cup, putting it down on the table with a loud clink of steel.
"The king and queen will witness your wedding. The Septon will write a proper marriage act, which he will sign under threat of losing his head. This will officially settle the matter and enrage Borros Baratheon, but it will also surprise him. I will then offer him a seat on the Small Council for his son and financial compensation, which you, my brother, will cover from your annual income."
Said her uncle, she heard her husband turn in his chair beside her with a loud creak of wood and nod, swallowing hard, playing with his cup in his hand.
She glanced up at Aegon and frowned as she saw their eyes meet. She lowered her gaze immediately, thinking with disapproval that although part of her abhorred him, it was only because of him that there was any hope for her and his brother.
"Do you love him?" She heard his impassive, calm voice, saw Helaena and her husband move uneasily in their seats.
"− Aegon −"
"I am not speaking to you." He replied coldly to his brother, looking at her, stretched out comfortably in his chair.
She looked at him in disbelief and swallowed loudly, feeling her lower lip begin to tremble, tears of pain gathering in the corners of her eyes at his question.
Gods.
"I stayed here for him. I gave myself to him." She muttered regretfully, Helaena quickly grabbed her hand lying on the table, squeezing it in her own.
"My brother has been calling you a little whore all these years. He used to say: she surely fucks with her guards like her pathetic mother." He said softly, cocking his head, curious about her reaction. She noticed out of the corner of her eye that her husband had covered his face with his hand, devastated, his sister cast him a quick, sharp look full of regret.
She involuntarily chuckled at his words, feeling the pleasant evening breeze flowing in through the open windows envelop her heated cheeks.
"I am aware of it. He shared those very thoughts with me the very first evening when we spoke to each other years later." She sneered, Aegon burst out laughing loudly, placing a hand on his stomach, shaking his head in disbelief.
"Indeed, it sounds like something my younger brother would do."
After her uncle shared the details of his plan and informed them of the location of their clandestine meeting, they returned to their chambers to prepare. Her husband escorted her to the door, tense; she could feel that what had been said filled him with anxiety.
"Do you still wish to do this?" He asked in a hoarse voice, as if he thought what he had thought of her over the years and what she had learned might have influenced her decision.
"And has anything changed, uncle?" She answered question for question, saw that he threw her an impatient look in which relief lurked at the same time.
"No."
"Then you have your answer."
As promised, Helaena brought her one of her rich gowns. Being a prisoner in King's Landing, she only had a few of her garments, as the rest of them were left in Dragonstone. Her aunt helped her comb her hair, forming a bun from some of the curls at the nape of her head, surrounded by braids, letting the rest flow freely down her back.
The gown she'd brought her was gold, with open, exposed shoulders and wide sleeves slit at elbow height, its cut perfectly emphasising her pleasing figure. Looking at herself in the mirror, watching as she put pins with gold pearls into her hair, she thought that this was not how she had imagined her wedding day, but she felt happiness nevertheless.
She knew that this time it would look the way it should.
Her aunt had put a plain grey cloak over her shoulders and placed a hood over her head, hiding her attire that might arouse suspicion. Looking straight into her eyes, she thought with warmth in her heart, squeezing her hand in her own, that during this time she had been watching over her, being there for her during the hardest moments of her life.
"I am grateful to you for everything you have done for me. I wish your husband would give you what you deserve." She muttered, stroking her skin with her thumb, wanting to show her in any way that she also wanted her happiness. Helaena stroked her shoulders, turning her head, her gaze dreamy and calm, her lips curved in a gentle smile.
"He is the father of my children." She said softly, folding her hands on her womb, looking somewhere far away thoughtfully. "And it is only the fate of our children that matters."
They left her chamber together, not speaking to each other, heading ahead along the corridor. Just as they suspected, they came across guards who wanted to know where the princess was taking the prisoner.
"To the king, as ordered by him."
"Queen Alicent has commanded that she not leave her chamber after dark."
"I am the queen, Ser."
The guard swallowed loudly, looking at his companion, and then nodded, letting them pass.
Helaena grasped her hand, turning suddenly, leading her down a steep staircase into an underground lit only by barely smouldering torches.
It was rare for anyone to go down there, judging by the smell she concluded it was a former larder. She shuddered as she heard a rat run past her feet and swallowed loudly, wondering how Aegon had found this place and what he was doing here.
After a moment they emerged from the dark corridor into one of the chambers where she spotted three figures − a man of similar age to their grandfather dressed in modest grey robes tied at the waist with a cord, next to him stood Aegon and her husband, she swallowed loudly seeing his attire.
He wore a dark red tunic with gold ornaments in the shape of writhing dragon heads, she had never seen him in such colours before.
Neither Green nor Black, just like her.
Their marriage was supposed to be beyond division, a symbol of reconciliation.
For some reason she felt distress and anxiety, as if this was indeed her first wedding, her hands trembling as she untied the knots of the cloak she had pulled off with the help of her aunt, her golden gown shining in the firelight. She saw her uncle-husband's pupil narrow at this sight, he swallowed hard, trailing his gaze across her entire figure, tense.
She looked uncertainly at Helaena, and she nodded, so she gathered her courage and moved ahead, this time of her own accord, fully aware of what this entailed by going to marry the man she thought she had lost forever.
She involuntarily breathed through her mouth as she stepped in front of him, playing with the fingers of her hands in a nervous gesture, looking straight into his eyes, the expression on his face a mystery to her, his gaze seeming to almost burn her, piercing and dark.
She felt the Septon cast an uncertain glance in Aegon's direction, and he nodded, ordering him to begin. The man grunted quietly and turned to her husband.
"You may now cloak the bride and bring her under your protection."
She saw her uncle swallow heavily, turning towards his elder brother, who handed him a golden cloak embroidered in shiny red thread with their family crest. With a sweeping gesture, her uncle placed the cloak over her shoulders, her heart beating like mad, she was unable to look away from his face, hearing in her mind his words spoken in rage to her father.
She is my wife.
Who her father was no longer matters, for she belongs now to my family, for our children will bear my name.
She heard him swallow hard, clearly filled with extreme emotion as much as she was, she sighed as he took her hand in his, lifting it up.
"We stand here in the sight of gods and men to witness the union of man and wife: one flesh, one heart, one soul, now and forever. Cursed be he who would seek to tear them asunder."
Said the Septon tying their entwined hands with a ribbon, thus symbolically uniting them for eternity.
She could not believe that this was really happening.
"In the sight of the Seven, I hereby seal these two souls, binding them as one for eternity. Look upon one another and say the words." Said the Septon lowly, and they looked at each other, breathing loudly, clutching their fingers tightly.
"Father,
Smith,
Warrior,
Mother,
Maiden,
Crone,
Stranger
I am hers | I am his
and she is mine | and he is mine
from this day, until the end of my days."
They both fell silent, hearing the echo of the words they had spoken spread around them, looking at each other in disbelief.
She could see that his lower lip was trembling, his nostrils twitching in accelerated breath, his eye wide open, red with emotion.
He should say that he was sealing the marriage with his kiss, but it seemed to her that he was unable to get anything out.
He was moved.
This thought, the thought that he really craved this, that he had really waited for her for so many years, hating and desiring her at the same time made warm tears one after another flow down her cheeks, she pressed her lips into a thin line feeling her breasts rise and fall in quick, ragged breaths.
And then he did something she hadn't expected, which was sweeter and more tender to her than any kiss.
He drew her to him, locking her in a desperate, strong embrace of his arms, his fingers digging into her skin hidden beneath the thin material of her gown, cuddling his face into the hollow of her neck.
They were husband and wife.
192 notes · View notes
Text
You're All I Desire
(Dazai x reader: NSFW)
a/n: omfg it has been a moment since I've written a full fic but here I am !!! the idea for this one has been on my mind ALL DAMN DAY bc the Dazai brainrot has been so real lately my man <3 my man <3 my mannnnn <333 so enjoy some smut xoxo
cw: mention of masturbation (reader getting off by thinking of Dazai & Dazai getting off by thinking of reader), use of clit vibrator, gender neutral reader however reader does have female parts, Dazai refers to reader as "Bella" aka his famous Belladonna petname, Dazai eating reader out, thigh hickeys
word count: a tad over 1.6k
Tumblr media
You mentally curse yourself as you pull up to your apartment complex, putting the car in park. After turning off the car, you and Dazai begin heading up into your apartment. Of course of all the days in the world, the day you're assigned to help Dazai with a case is the day you leave all the documents you needed to give him at home. It already took you an entire week to convince Kunikida to let you take them home so you could continue work later into the night with the comfort of your own TV and snacks right at your fingertips. If only you had woken up ten or twenty minutes earlier, then you wouldn't have been rushing out the door this morning.
"Okay they should be-," your eyes widen at the disastrous sight that was awaiting you behind the door. "FUCK ME!" you exclaim as you throw your shoes at the entranceway, Dazai's faint laugher in the background as he follows your lead. "I promise it's usually this bad," you sigh as you turn to Dazai, turning back to the mess of an apartment in front of you. This week you promised to cat sit for your friend, assuring them the cat would feel right at home in your apartment. What your friend failed to mention was their cat's love for wrecking havoc in new places.
"It's cute~" Dazai chuckles as he looks around your messy yet cozy apartment. "You have a good eye for decor," he mentions as he begins walking around the living room, giving himself a self guided tour. You smile at his compliment, trying not to show how nervous having him in your apartment makes you.
It was pretty obvious to everyone at the office that you had a little crush on Dazai. I mean, how could you not? Not only was he beautiful, but he was funny and smart and so much deeper than the persona he puts on for the world. Something deep inside wants to unravel these layers he hides himself under, both literally with bandages and emotionally with his charming nature.
You only allowed yourself to fantasize so much about him though since you were unsure what he felt about you. Sure he flirted with you almost daily, but at what point is that Dazai just simply being Dazai? You always allowed yourself to indulge in his flirting advances, but never forgot that it was just a workplace crush.
"Shit and they were right here," you sigh, palm of your hand hitting your forehead in frustration as you stand in front of your desk. Dazai looked over your shoulder, scanning the desk covered in old papers, a random book, pictures of you and your friends, and random trinket. A small smile forms on his lips as he studies these items, imaging you sitting here at night hard at work. The thought made his heart skip a beat. You were too cute for your own good.
"Time to get searching then!" Dazai exclaims, a little too excited for your liking. However, he was right as these documents needed to be found as soon as possible. You began looking around the desk as Dazai trailed off to other rooms. Too focused on finding these documents and keeping your job, you didn't may much attention to him doing as he pleased. Dazai smiled and hummed to himself as he peaked into your bedroom, admiring how your personality was so clearly visible through your decor. He couldn't help himself as he began scanning your book shelf before moving to your bed, poking the random plushies threatening to fall off your bed. He then finds his way to your nightstand, chuckling at the random assortment of things you sleep by. After scanning the small table, he raises an eyebrow at the halfway opened top drawer. Curiosity getting the better of him, he opens the drawer fully. Oh and is he happy he did.
"Phew okay Dazai I found the papers! We should get going or else-," your jaw almost dropped as you stared at the sight in front of you. Never in a million years did you image you would walk into your bedroom to find Dazai sitting on your bed, twirling your vibrator lazily in his hand. "Put that away. We're leaving."
"But I didn't get a chance to play with my new toy," he pouts.
"Dazai, I'm being serious." You try not to show how embarrassed you are, knowing it will only fuel his flames.
"So I am," he smirks as you walk towards him, trying to take the vibrator from his hands. "Tell me Bella~ Tell me all the fantasies you have of me when playing with yourself~" he teased, waving the wand around. You go silent at his taunt, face feeling flushed as you try to get words out. I mean of course you can't help yourself some nights, allowing yourself to get fully lost in the idea of Dazai touching you, pleasuring you. His name leaving your mouth in a muffled whimper as you finally find release. But he didn't know this, right? Because that would be weird. You wanted to yell at him for even thinking such nasty things, but your face gave the truth away.
Dazai's heart nearly stopped beating as he watched you fight yourself at his taunts. You usually never get this worked up over him, that's when he realizes: you actually do get off to him. His head almost exploded at the thought of you alone in your room, desiring him and only him. He was only half way kidding when he made this comment to you, not realizing you felt as much for him as he did you. He's had a full blown crush on you since you began working for the agency, but never expected his advances to go anywhere. He also was guilty of getting himself off to thoughts of you, letting desire run rapidly through his veins most nights. However, he wrote it off as another sin he will one day have to answer for. He would have never expected you to commit the same sin. The idea drove him crazy. Without thinking, he pulled you by your shirt into a sloppy kiss.
Your eyes widen as he pulls you in suddenly, but it doesn't take long for you to melt into the kiss. He helped you get seated on his lap, your body slowly grinding against his as the kiss deepened. You wrapped your arms around his neck, hands tugging at his hair as you two continued making out on your bed, like two horny teenagers. The last thing on either your or Dazai's mind was getting back to the office as you felt a familiar wetness between your legs, and Dazai's hardening cock. The two of you pull away from each other's lips, a smile on his face as you pant.
"You're easy to get worked up~" he teased, making you roll your eyes and chuckle. Even in a heated moment he was too much, and you loved him for. "Here, let me help you." He shifts where he is sitting, lowering you onto your back. Once you're comfortably laying on your back, he slides your pants and underwear off so he can begin softly kissing your thighs. You whine as his lips leave soft, teasing kisses along your flesh.
"A-aah," you shut your eyes as he bites down on your inner thigh, sucking on the skin until a dark mark is formed. He chuckles before tracing the area with his tongue, leaving more soft kisses along this sensitive area of your body. "D-Dazai....please.....please touch me," you whine, becoming impatient as he repeats this process along your other thigh.
"How could I ever say no to you, ______~" he smiled as he turned the vibrator on, immediately finding the highest setting. You scream out as the toy made contact with your clit, an amused smile spreading across Dazai's face. He began moving the wand up and down, eyes glued to the way your body trembled as the vibrations shot through your body. Your hands began gripping the sheets as you quietly moaned out his name.
"That won't do," he sighed before applying more pressure to how he was holding the wand, increasing the vibrations on your clit.
"D-DAZAI!" you exclaim.
"Much better~" he teases as he continues playing with you, practically drooling at the sight of you. You're so close to coming, and Dazai can tell. You whine as he suddenly pulls the toy away from you, head shooting up to look at him and see what on earth he thinks he's doing.
"Dazai what the f-OH FUCK," you throw your head back as his mouth makes contact with your swollen clit. You moan as his tongue swirls around, his hands gripping your thighs to keep your legs wide open. You scream a mix of curses and his name as your legs shake, Dazai's face becoming slick with your juices. It doesn't take too long until you reach your climax, pulling at his hair as your thighs practically suffocate him. Dazai doesn't slow down, making your eyes roll back in pleasure as you ride out your high. Your legs continue to shake as you try to steady your breathing, watching as he sits up to wipe his face, massive grin shining on his face.
You smile up at him, starting to sit up yourself. "We should probably actually start hea-," you're cut off by him pushing you back down on the bed with one hand as his other hand begins undoing his belt.
"Oh, Bella," he smirks, "we're only getting started~"
76 notes · View notes
sarah-yyy · 1 day
Note
Sarah jie jie, In Blossom rec or no?
this is a real tough question to answer hooooo boy where do i start??
i mean, for starters, the premise of the show is actually really fun, and i like it a lot so far!! let's talk a little about this:
(spoilers for the first 2 eps in its entirety which covers the background/setup of the story)
Tumblr media
this is yang caiwei. her dad was a minister who was framed for one thing or another, demoted, and subsequently murdered. she was disfigured in the process, and ended up in the city of heyang where she grew up to be a corpse bearer training under a coroner.
yang caiwei has been betrothed since she was a little girl to:
Tumblr media
pan yue. this boy is the son of a concubine so his relationship with his dad is very meh. when yang caiwei's family got into trouble, pan yue's dad quickly cut off all ties with them. this led to yang caiwei being turned away at the door p harshly when she came to pan yue for help. pan yue himself though has loved her since he was a boy, and has been looking for her for 10 years!!
ANYWAY these two find each other. he wants to marry her. ofc he does!! she's his 白月光, and he wants to love and protect her!! he's disowned his family so that he can do this, he is ALL IN BABY. he's only found her again for all of 10 minutes and he's already planning their wedding in his head lbr.
she is calm and composed and v sensible because of the way she had to grow up. this whole thing seems too good to be true, and also she might be harbouring some ~feelings over the way he just cut her out of his life when she needed him the most. the yang caiwei she is now just wants to live her life as normal.
the chemistry is 😘 at this point, and i am so invested in their relationship. at this stage, i was still thinking she was the second female lead and was like. huh. this is going to be one of those shows where i'd ship these two more than the official couple i guess??
anyway enter:
Tumblr media
shangguan zhi. sister of pan yue's best friend, who is obsessed with pan yue, putting it mildly. she also has this ~thing about her own physical appearance - essentially, she thinks she needs to look and act perfect to be worthy of pan yue's love. this involves a lot of witch doctors and v unhealthy dieting and scrolls on how to smile the perfect way and walk the perfect way. y'all get the gist.
shangguan zhi hears that pan yue is getting married (to someone ugly at that!!!) and loses her shit. she decides the way around this so she can be with her yue-gege forever is-
(you guessed it!!)
-body-swapping with yang caiwei, and pushing yang caiwei (and also the shaman who actually helped her with the swap) off a cliff so that nobody ever finds out.
to her credit, it actually works!! she swaps bodies with yang caiwei, and marries pan yue.
what she didn't account for was being murdered on her wedding day.
ANYWAY. the actual yang caiwei, now in shangguan zhi's body (😭), survives the fall from the cliff, rushes to the wedding with the intent on stopping the wedding and getting her goddamn body back, and reaches just in time to kinda sorta witness shangguan zhi's murder.
cue her thinking that it was pan yue who killed shangguan zhi (she knew the whole wedding thing was too good to be true) and pan yue thinking that shangguan zhi had something to do with yang caiwei's death (after all, she was obsessed with him and had a whole fit over him wanting to marry someone else).
everything about this premise was *chef's kiss*. give me a bucket of popcorn and some comfy pillows, i can watch this all day.
EXCEPT.
except my dudes shangguan zhi (and subsequently yang caiwei-in-shangguan-zhi's body, let's call her shangguan caiwei for now) is played by ju jingyi. 😞 zhhz played yang caiwei TOO WELL my friends, so that when jjy took over, shangguan caiwei felt like a whole different character. it's a bit difficult to reconcile yang caiwei and shangguan caiwei tbh, which made watching the third ep onwards a bit jarring, especially after zhhz set the character up so well.
it's not like......fatal to the show. i mean. i went in expecting nothing from jjy (rightfully i think 😑) and i wouldn't say i am disappointed by it just because i was prepared to be ehhhh about her going in. i'm still watching the show mainly because i like the plot and also, and this is a big factor that i truly cannot stress enough:
liu xueyi looks so good in this show hoooooo boy
Tumblr media
look at this!!! is this a face i would suffer 30+ episodes of jjy for??? apparently it is!!
tl;dr: love lxy + like the plot + dislike jjy = still watching and will likely finish the show. is it a rec?? conservatively, i'd say soft yes??? i mean. a huge part of me watching this show is because i'm entertained by the shenanigans, 😍 over lxy, and daydreaming about an alternate universe of the show where we have zhhz instead of jjy as the female lead. it's not something to watch seriously though!!
45 notes · View notes
crescencestudio · 1 day
Text
๋࣭⭑ Devlog #39 | 3.27.24 ๋࣭⭑
Tumblr media
Happy March!!
This devlog is going to be a bit shorter, but...... it's for Exciting Reasons that I will share later in the post. heh.....heh.....HEH.....
Let's jump in ^^
Tumblr media
This month, writing was mostly dedicated to Etza's route! We have officially entered the Developmental Editing part of Etza's route, which is super exciting!!!
There were parts of Etza's route I wasn't completely satisfied with, so I spent a lot of this month tinkering, adding, fleshing out, editing, etc. for their route. I'm happier with it now compared to where it was when we entered this month, and especially with Wudgey's help, I'm excited for Etza to get the love they deserve!
I had a small, optional goal for myself to start Kuna'a's route, but honestly, I felt like between work with the Enhanced Demo, Etza's edits, and just generally feeling a bit tired after being Super Productive in January and February, I decided to give myself a break. That being said, I'm relatively confident I'll be getting started with Kuna'a's route next month, and I'm excited to dive into their route (and the Fae routes in general, teehee!).
Tumblr media
Vui is on the very last of the BGs I need from him..... So I am in mourning.......
Kidding but not kidding. Vui has done an amazing job of putting the backgrounds for Alaris together! They're absolutely stunning, and by the time we get to the next devlog, he will have finished ALL of the BGs for Alaris! It's been about a year and a half in the making, which is kinda crazy to think we have been together for this long (and working on the full game for this long), but it's definitely A Moment.
In celebration of him reaching this milestone, I wanted to highlight some of the BGs he's made for the game! The theme is early morning; some of these BGs are in the demo, and some are in the full game hehe. You'll have to guess the context of the mysterious full game BGs :')
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Sneak Peek: BG Showcase, morning strolls around the world of Alaris
I also thought it's been a while since I showcased a CG here. While I don't play on showcasing many of the full game CGs on public devlogs (I do show them on my Patreon!), I wanted to show a little snippet of this specific CG.
Why, you ask? Well, for the OGs, you might remember I showed a sketch of the CG during the Alaris Kickstarter---whenever the hell THAT THING happened.
I finished rendering it now that I got the BG for it, so I wanted to show a peek of that sketch that I showed oh-so-many-years ago.
Tumblr media
Sneak Peek: Kayn Full Route CG I want to lick him
Generally for art progress, I've been working on CGs as well as some promotional materials, which I'll be getting to in the next section \o/
Tumblr media
Now for the Exciting News!!!!
I have two bits of exciting news. The first is...
Tumblr media
Sneak Peek: Selection Screen for Alpha/Beta Access (OUUUUGGGGGHHHHH)
I STARTED CODING KAYN'S ROUTE!!!! The first act is already "done" and ready for beta access. And I'm hoping to finish the other two acts within the next couple of weeks. It is crazy to finally be able to code some of the full game routes. Even if they're not at the "final version" or early access stage, it is Extremely Rewarding to finally experience the scripts I've been writing in the game!!! With the CGs.... Extended Screens..... Just seeing the script with visual assets and not just a Google Doc is SOOOOO FSEIKLFJSEILE
Sneak Peek: Chapter Character Cards (AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA)
The second piece of Exciting News is that I have a release date for the Enhanced Demo. YEEEEAAAAAA. It's finally happening!!! Please stay tuned over the next couple of days...... An Exciting Announcement is on its way...................................
Tumblr media
I didn't do much market research this month. If I'm being honest, I actually struggled a little bit this month with like...... burnout and workaholism guilt. I wanted to take a break after getting the demo ready for public release, but I just couldn't bring myself to fully rest. It felt like there was so much to do (not just with Alaris, but also with real world/work obligations) and all these looming deadlines was starting to get to me.
I'm hoping next month because I'll actually be Releasing the demo (oops, sneak peek of general release date teehee!), I'll be able to feel like I can take a break. But it also sucks a bit that I feel like I have to Earn It. I think with Alaris being a Kickstarter project, I want to get the game in your hands as soon as possible, but of course it's not to anyone's benefit if I burn myself out in the process and end up with either a worser project or taking even longer to finish it.
I did...... start Stardew Valley again since it is the ultimate dissociation/break game for me. So far it's been working! But we'll see how it continues <3
LOOK AT MY FARM!!!
Tumblr media
Should I marry Sebastian or Elliot.
Anyways, hope you all have a great rest of your month, and I'll talk to you Very Soon with an Exciting Announcement! <3
32 notes · View notes
taintandviolent · 1 day
Note
Can you do a Frat!Kyle smut where reader is chubby, and it's just really slow and sweet. Like maybe both Kyle and the reader are desperate, but he's a little too big and he starts going slower, giving reader kisses and such. Stuff like that? I LOVE UR WRITING SO MUCH MWAH MWAH!! 💋 Tysm if you do decide to write this, you can choose the setting and background and what not
warnings: alcohol mention. unprotected sex. female receiving. uhhh nothing really else this is very mild for me.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
The light filtered through Kyle's fluffy blonde curls as he turned, making them almost shimmer. He looked back at his group of friends, smiling that adorable, lopsided grin. They were schmoozing with a group of girls, all who looked nothing like you. In fact, the way they looked made you instantly insecure. Why was Kyle Spencer talking to you? Was this some kind of prank? 
"I'm not your type, am I?" 
He turned back to you, his brows furrowed. It was clear that the statement confused him. "Whaddya' mean?" 
"You know... all skinny, and blonde and pretty. I'm not like them." Subconsciously, you pulled at the fabric of your dress, loosening it. 
"Huh," he said, nodding. "If I wanted a girl like that, I'd be with my buddies over there."
He said it with such genuinity that you believed him, the way his extra-dark chocolate eyes stared into yours, warm and sincere, melting you into a puddle of pliability. He reached for your hand, tugging it away from the grip it had on your dress. 
“Why do you think I’m talking to you? Be honest.” 
“I don’t know, maybe it’s a joke or a dare. Go flirt with the fat girl – “ 
“Don’t. Don’t talk like that. You are…” He glanced over your body, heavy-lidded and hungrily. There was no denying the truth in his gaze, the desire and the want in it. He didn’t finish his sentence, but he didn’t need to. You understood. He kissed you first. He kissed you by the makeshift bar, taking the red Solo Cup out of your hands and setting it behind you. His hands trailed down to your ample, plush hips, laying softly atop of them. He broke the kiss to speak, seeming slightly nervous. 
“Hey, so… you uh… wanna’ go upstairs? You can say no…” 
“I know I can say no, Kyle.”
“I know, I was just… saying.” 
You nodded, looking at his lips. He led you around the people, around the tables, and up the winding staircase. Passing door after door, until you finally got to his. He opened it, letting you in first, and you took the first few seconds to admire the little things that made him him. You didn’t get long though, because as soon as he’d shut it, he pressed you against the back of his door, kissing you with a desperation that made your core ache and tighten. 
“I’m kinda’ obsessed with you… sorry, I’m not trying to come on too strong, I just….” His hands explored you, hungrily taking fistfuls of everything he touched. “...want you.” For once, you felt like the pretty girl, the desired one. You bumped your head against his door, letting out a breathy moan. 
“Can I…?” 
You chuckled under your breath. He asked for permission for everything, defying the predetermined ideas you’d had of a frat boy, shattering all the commanding, insistent urges that you’d expected him to have. Sure, he had urges and a raging hard-on, but Kyle was different… in so many ways. 
“Please.” You affirmed. 
The tips of his fingers made quirk work of finding your cunt, rubbing it through the fabric of your underwear. He trailed his middle finger over the soft mound of your pussy, before trailing along the outline of the slit. You were so warm, and the lower he ventured, the wetter it got. With a groan and a push of hips into yours, Kyle slipped his hand into your panties. He inserted one finger, slowly, feeling every inch of your hot cunt as it clenched around his digit. 
He only fingered you for a few moments before he pulled his hand from your underwear, and immediately began kissing you again, wrapping his arms around your lower back. You whimpered into the kiss, rutting your hips against his. You could feel the rigid outline of his cock against your thigh as he ground against you. 
“Kyle, can we lay down?” 
He nodded, excitedly, his blonde curls bouncing on his forehead. “Yeah! Yeah, we totally can.” 
After guiding you to the bed, Kyle pulled his navy blue shirt over his head, and the undershirt followed. You watched from the bed, propping yourself up on your elbows. He had a toned, but stocky build and the muscles flexed as he undressed. In nothing but his boxers now, he crawled up to you from the bottom of the bed, a devious, playful smirk on his face. He took his time pulling your panties from around your hips before tossing them behind him. They landed on the corner of his TV. 
“C’mere,” you said. “I want you.” 
Once he was above you, you took hold of his cock, pumping it a few times before guiding it towards your entrance. The hot, leaking tip pressed into you and Kyle bucked his hips once before your muscles contracted. The burning stretch was too much, the harsh and abrupt ache of his cock as it sunk into you was alarming. 
“Wait, wait…!” you whined, stuttering and backing your hips into the mattress. It took you a few moments, but finally, you managed to say what you’d been trying for. “You’re… you’re um… too big.” 
Kyle let out a breathy chuckle, his head hanging between his bare shoulders. He always thought he was average length, but he knew his cock was girthy. Was an apology appropriate? He’d rather be too big than too small, and hear ‘Is it in yet?’ like some of the horror stories he’d heard from buddies. 
“Do you want me to stop?” His voice was subdued, gentle. Concerned. “Wait, have you ever…. Are you a –” 
“N-no!” You bit your lip. “No… I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to yell. I um,” you paused, brushing your hair away from your cheek. “I’m not. I want you really bad, Kyle, I’m just… nervous.” 
Kyle took the hint and shushed you with a kiss. His plush, pink lips pressing into yours with an unspoken understanding, warm and soft. You leaned upwards into him, your mouth giving way to his. He tasted faintly of beer, but there was a warm sweetness in his saliva that made you run your tongue along his, hungrily searching for more. 
He broke the kiss and moved to your neck, slowly peppering kisses along the nape of it, taking his time to savour the soft fragrance of whatever perfume you’d put on before the party. You were everything he dreamt about, from the softness of your hips to the fullness of your breasts. If he was being honest, Kyle was always kinda’ insecure over the fact that he and his buddies never agreed on women. All women were beautiful creatures, he could agree with that much, but the type of woman… 
His large, veiny hands trailed over your full thighs, squeezing the pillowy flesh. They moved to your hips, a place that in the few moments of foreplay, you’d come to realize he was really into, and couldn’t keep his hands to himself. He kneaded your flesh, groaning and grinding his bare cock against your cunt. It slid in and out of your folds, your own wetness smearing down the shaft. 
You moaned loud, pressing your head into his pillow. You couldn’t help but let it out, the way he was dry-humping you was nearly enough stimulation to send you over the edge, but you waited, clenching your teeth and holding the orgasm back. 
Once your cunt was dripping, he asked permission again. This time, there was a breathless, frustrated urgency in his wanton voice, and his half-lidded, heavy with lust gaze begged you wordlessly. You agreed, and spread your legs slightly, allowing more room this time. When he finally fucked you, it was slow and deliberate. Each thrust was deeper than the last, but it wasn’t hurried, as though he was relishing in the tinier feelings of your walls as they clenched around him, squeezing his cock in a vice-grip. 
You came before he did, but the sight of you coming undone below him was enough to push him. His thrusts got a little faster when he came, little desperate bunny humps that stung, but somehow, still left you feeling satisfied. 
After a few moments, you looked at him with big, doe-eyes. “You really like women like me?” 
Still panting, he nodded, nuzzling against your heavy breasts. “I really do.” 
45 notes · View notes
velvetydream · 4 hours
Text
꒰ :🥀 [ Blissfull relief ] ”♡ᵎ꒱ˀˀ ↷ ⋯
Tumblr media
Summary : Sampo wakes you up from the Golden Hour in a pretty interesting way.
Pairing : Sampo x fem! Reader
Word count : 864 Words
Genre : Smut (Minors DNI)
Warnings ➵ Slight Peanacony Spoilers
Content ➵ Somnophilia (Consented),
Cunnilingus
a/n : Short one to get back into writing, also everything in this is written with consent in mind, reader gave Sampo the consent to be woken up like that. Also idk how lore accurate this is with the pool, but eh let's go with the flow!
Tumblr media
The Golden Hour was buzzing with people like always, people from many different planets and so many different backgrounds. Yourself strolling through the bustling streets to the Clockie statue right now. Sampo had told you to wait up for him there yesterday, wondering what he wanted to talk about.
Watching the storefronts, everything looked expensive and just perfect for this dream world. It was crazy to imagine the Golden Hour even exists, that the Dreamscape overall exists.
Arriving at the statue, you take a good look around, the blue-haired man is nowhere to be seen, he probably would take a while longer. The golden statue of Clockier was reflecting the lights of the city, making it look as if it was sparkling. Further behind it was the poster of Robin, many people walking the streets humming or singing her songs. Stepping over to one of the many benches, taking a seat as you fold your leg over the other, waiting patiently for a certain someone to meet you. Some time goes by, looking at your phone for a second, he is already 20 minutes late, Sampo usually comes a bit later but not this much and especially not to a meeting with you.
Sighing as you put your phone back into your pocket, rest your elbow on your knee and your face on your hand. People were walking by, not one giving you a glance. Everyone here was in their own little world. Somewhere in the background, you could also hear some of those walking billboards pestering the people walking past them.
A while went by when you suddenly started to feel a little uncomfortable. It confused you. You couldn't really describe this feeling, but it felt tight? As if your chest is getting tight. Your chest tingling. Suddenly a jolt makes you bend over, chest pressed to your knees now, your right hand over your mouth. Eyes blown wide, as you feel heat building up in your core slowly. What was happening? Something like this never happened to you here.. Was your body getting sick? We're you about to wake up?
Sampo still wasn't here which worried you slowly, it must have been an hour by now. The heat in your body slowly but surely rises and gets stronger and hotter with every passing second. By now people gave you glances, wondering what was wrong with you, probably thinking you drank too much SoulGlad and were about to empty it again. But this was far from what was happening to you. The urge to slip your hand down to your core and silence the burning desire was getting hard to control. But you couldn't, not here, yet you knew if you were to stand up in this condition it wouldn't work out for you.
Maybe you should just wake up? Finish this awake and in the hotel? But then again Sampo would probably be here soon.. Another flash of burning hot desire was sent through your body, more intense than any before. Your eyes shoot open, as your mouth opens to let out a pathetic moan, hands thrashing around to grab anything around you, which ends up being a head of blue hair.
"Finally awake.. Took you almost half an hour, amazing how long you did." Above you was Sampo, looking down, the lower half of your body was exposed while still in the pool. Just not the conversation you and he had last week hits you. Telling him how hot you think it would be for him to wake you up by eating you out, giving him your consent to surprise you if he was to do it. Yet you didn't think he would convert that idea so soon.
"Cat got your tongue? Maybe I should just continue so all you can do is moan while you come ondone on my tongue." With that Sampo lowers his body back down, his hot tongue running a stripe up your core, before licking around the sensitive nub. This was bliss. Your right hand was softly tangled in his locks, while the other held onto the edge of the pool, eyes closed while your head was thrown back. His hand was slowly moving under your shirt, pushing it up a little bit while doing so, before finally reaching the sensitive nipples and softly twisting them between his thumb and pointer finger.
With all this build-up of pleasure and the pleasure Sampo was still giving you, you were bound to not last longer and he knew that, from the way you were moving around, his free arm holding you in place by your thigh. With a suck to your clit, you finally come undone on his tongue, making him lap up any last bit of your release, before moving his body over you.
"Now, did that fulfill that fantasy of yours darling?" His green eyes were staring down at you, with a handsome smirk on his face. "Better than how I imagined." Pulling him down by his shoulders now, this was bound to be a long night ahead.
22 notes · View notes
diddiqueen · 3 days
Note
hi i dont know if a midnight miracle is done with but can you maybe do a part three of the night the baby is born or how ellie & the reader are dealing with motherhood. thank u <3
A midnight miracle (part three)
Tumblr media
A/N: Thank you for your request💞 Sorry I took some time, I have been busy with a lot atm but I hope you like it:)
Part one, part two
BEFORE YOU READ: masterpost on how you can educate yourself on and help Palestine
🩵Motherhood was different from what you had expected, sure you never thought it was gonna be easy, but this was something else
🩵One night in December you woke up, sweat dripping down your back, in pain
🩵The pain almost felt like period cramps, though not as painful and it disappeared as quick as you noticed it so you tried to fall back asleep
🩵Some hours later you woke up again and the cramps had intensified so you walked to the bathroom in search for a painkiller
🩵Just when you reach the bathroom you felt some liquid dripping down your legs even though you didn’t really feel the need to pee
🩵A sound was heard from behind the bathroom door and quickly Ellie came into view
🩵“Hey babe, why are you up? It’s 5 in the morning”. Her voice was raspy and tired
🩵“I think my water broke”
🩵“Oh shit”
🩵Ellie started panicking for a moment before she helped you to prepare the bad you had packed for the birth
🩵It took a couple of hours for the contractions to come regular enough for you to be allowed into the hospital but just when they got - Ellie didn’t hesitate a moment before shoving you into the car and start driving
🩵She hated seeing you in pain, I mean which partner liked to see their lover endure something like that?
🩵When it was finally time to push, Ellie tried to soothe you by talking sweet nonsense but you were really not in the mood
🩵“Shut the fuck up, Ellie”, you yelled at your poor wife
🩵She understood though that you weren’t irritated at her, just that you were so exhausted from the pain
🩵When the baby finally came out, Ellie cried so hard and even more when she saw her baby girl laying on your chest
🩵Finally she had her little family that she had always dreamed of
💝If it was anyone who could compete in the crying challenge it was Joel when he met the baby for the first time
💝He got to hold her and watch her pretty little face as she slept
💝Her fingers where so small and gripped onto his pinky
💝As a gift, Joel had bought her a shirt that said “I have the best grandpa” which he convinced you to let her wear
🌸In the beginning, Ellie felt very insecure as a mother
🌸She had doubts about not being good enough as she never had a mother of her own and that that would make her a bad one for some reason
🌸You comforted her and whispered into her ears how perfect she was with your little girl and how great mum she was as you laid in bed after a long day
🌸Even though they weren’t connected by blood, Ellie still felt a strong connection to her child and it grew stronger when she saw how similar the baby was to you, her wife
🌸After giving birth though, you were exhausted and it took some time, obviously, before you came back into your feet again
🌸Ellie helped you with everything she could and doten on the little baby when you were too tired to
🥕You never really had pregnancy craving but to your surprise, the breastfeeding cravings was crazy for you
🥕Everything from cooked carrots to toasts with moldy cheese and jam, maybe not that crazy
🥕Then it spiraled out of control
🥕You always made Ellie tried all your weird food combinations and make her rate them
🥕“Come on babe”
🥕“I’m not gonna eat rice and chocolate sauce”
🥕“It’s delicious, I promise you”
🥕“You’re disgusting”
🥕“You love it”
🦖For your child’s first Halloween, Ellie obviously dressed her in a dinosaur costume
🦖She begged you to hold the baby so she could take a hundred pictures and send them to Joel
🦖It was her backgrounds photo for a long time
🦖Ellie really loved dressing your girl up and it became her thing as a mother
🦖She adored matching clothes with herself
🦖So now your baby girl looked like a masc lesbian 😭
💞Motherhood definitely wasn’t easy, some days were harder than others but you wouldn’t swap it for anything in the world
💞Your wife and daughter was everything you needed
A/N: 😭😭😭 this is so cute I want a baby (just not the responsibilities) and an Ellie. Also, I have never given birth nor had a child to take care of so sorry if this is inaccurate lol
52 notes · View notes
cadybear420 · 1 day
Text
Cadybear's Reviews- Murder at Homecoming
Welcome to the thirty-seventh official Cadybear's Reviews! Today I'll be talking about Murder at Homecoming, which I have ranked on the "Platinum Tier" at 9 stars out of a possible 10. My last and only playthrough of this was during September-December 2022.
This is definitely one of the better, if not the best release, of 2022, and it’s easily among my personal faves. 
A MC who is proactive and gets shit done, multiple LIs, highly compelling story. How can I not love that? All three of the LIs are amazing characters– and Tyler especially is just precious. I think he’s the first love interest I have ever adored nearly as much as I’ve adored Aiden. I miss when we had male LIs that are just so babygirl. 
The incorporation of mature topics and queer themes was especially excellent. MTFL, take notes! Because THIS is how you write a teen story that talks about queer sexuality and mature behaviors. Besides maybe BiBound I mean BloodBound, this is probably the first book in Choices where each LI has some degree of confirmed sexuality outside of their LI option status for the MC. 
One thing that’s especially notable is how Tyler will talk about how he used to think he was straight if you romance him as a male or enby MC. I normally don’t mind much when LIs in GOC stories are made with the “playersexual” style of writing, but these sort of little changes are a good show of effort and give Tyler more character.
But of course, it’s not without a handful of problems. 
Like COP (1), the story is incredibly linear and none of the clues or choices really affect your story. Sure, they give you a bit of extra background, but that’s about it. 
The only choices that really have any impact are the stuff related to the queer discussions, Tyler’s romance route, and how the options for how your MC can talk about their queer experience can change based on your MC’s gender and romance choices. Which is still highly praiseworthy, don’t get me wrong, but I’d have loved to see some variation in the other elements of the book too.
And as much as I did enjoy this MC and do consider them one of the more refreshing ones, they were also a bit too rigid and pre-set for me at times. I get that some MCs will need to have pre-set details about them, and to some degree that does apply to this MC, but it was a bit much at times. Like, there was especially no need to give them a default first AND last name. I do like the aspect of MC preferring to go by their middle name, but we still could have been allowed to change their first and last names too, to be honest. 
I found it really hard to feel for the loss of Perdita for this reason; the traumatic event backstory didn’t feel as well established, compared to that of ILITW and ACOR MCs. Though to be fair, I do remember there being a handful of premium scenes to see a memory with Perdita, and I do remember skipping all but two of them. 
But even then, I never felt she had quite as much importance as the writers clearly wanted her to have? Outside of being a motivator for MC to solve Gabbie’s case and allowing MC to connect with Donovan better. Maybe my opinion on this might change after I give it a replay, though. 
That being said, I’m actually fine with the story not telling us what really happened to Perdita, as much as I’d have loved a continuation for this book. MC not knowing what happened to Perdita is what motivated them to solve Gabbie’s case, and in that regard, the two cases kind of juxtapose one another. Whereas MC is able to get closure for Gabbie’s case, they don’t do that for Perdita’s case. And that’s fine, because sometimes we don’t always get closure for these kinds of things. 
That makes the ending a little more nuanced in my opinion. Sometimes, we don’t always get closure for these kinds of things. While I’m still mixed on how well the story integrated Perdita, this message was handled decently and didn’t feel like it was in bad spirit. 
So if there were a continuation for this story, I wouldn’t mind it being centered around MC finding Perdita, motivated to work on that case more actively after their success with Gabbie’s case. But rather than having them solve the case, it can mostly center around them struggling between whether they should keep up that search, or leave it as a cold case and move on. 
Overall, definitely a higher-tier and very respectable story that definitely deserves a replay. 
18 notes · View notes
aquilamage · 7 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
[Image Description: a set of five edited bug fables screenshots from the pre-battle zommoth encounter. The first is the same as in-game, Kabbu saying "W-What is that!? Something's coming!" The second is of zommoth appearing on screen with its sprite edited to be various shades of pink and yellow, wings the same pattern as Leif's (but still with the purple blight magic stuff in the chest area.) The next three images have the sprite edited in the same way.. The third image is of Leif's saying "...Wh, Rkejrm-m-Muse!? Kjdrira, mebsrgr...!!!" The next is Kabbu saying "Muse!? Leif, that's..." The final is Vi saying "T-That doesn't make any sense!" End ID]
I thought about one of my fucked up and evil au ideas for five minutes again, so I decided to spend like fifty hours making a thing about it. Basically what if Muse went back into Snakemouth later to try to rescue Leif or at least bring back his body and got caught by the roaches.
Putting just the edited sprites under the cut if you wanna see those without the lab mood lighting:
Tumblr media Tumblr media
32 notes · View notes
britneyshakespeare · 1 month
Text
You know what's a realization I've made just now at this moment. I've been thinking for the last couple of days about how lately my poetry feels like it has no significance to me anymore, and I don't know why or how. It certainly felt more significant to me when I was youngest, when my poetic offerings were least often worthy of much praise, when I was excited and felt catharsis. Before I was even twenty, poetry became more of a craft/hobby than a diary (to give myself credit, it was a craft/hobby when I was fourteen/fifteen too, but I built that craft/hobby out of my teenage sentiments and obsessions rather than a more concerted effort of skill or construction). And it's been many years since I wrote poetry that was about people; I can't tell you the last time I wrote a poem that was purely about my feelings for another person. More often I write poems about conflicts or problems or things I'm figuring out. Very often my poetry is just inspired by whatever book I'm reading. But I'm not interested in my poetry lately whatsoever; I write it coincidentally. I have no interest in elaborating through that medium anymore at this point in my life. I'm not sure why I continue. And my realization is that I actually have felt this before. My poetry feels like a dormant interest because very few things inspire or excite me right now. My poetry feels insignificant when I'm in a phase where my life feels insignificant.
2 notes · View notes
slverblood · 1 month
Text
One day I'll actually write a post about Erlona and Meadowlin instead of throwing random tidbits on the dash. Very invested in these two people I pulled from a brief mention in a short book summary you find at random.
2 notes · View notes
Note
can you give more information on ayyám-i-há? it sounds really interesting and i want to know what you're suggesting by it, because it didn't quite register when i read your post jsjskxkxn
Absolutely I can! I shared more of what it is in this post, but I didn't really explain what my thoughts behind bringing it up were. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to clarify
Essentially, my thought process was hey, ayyám-i-há involves gifts and giving and generosity, this fandom loves to have little events and support each other. I wonder if we could combine the two. And I'm proposing this non-religiously, not bringing any belief or holy ideology into it. I'm atheist myself and just like to celebrate as an homage to my background, even though I don't believe
My very loose idea was that during ayyám-i-há, which this year is from February 25th-March 1st, anyone who wanted to celebrate with me could make each other something fun, like a silly doodle or a fic snippet or a moodboard or small playlist or something. And for those who don't have the time or energy to make anything, you could send nice asks, leave nice comments, reblog some extra art works during that time to foster community and cheer.
Because that's what it's really about. The physical gifts aren't what matter, it's the joy and indulging in each others company! Which you can do just by supporting each other and being together.
It doesn't need to be anything big, but this fandom has been very open to sharing and supporting headcanons and creations that relate to everyone's cultures and backgrounds, and I thought this could be a simple way to share some of mine! Since we already do practically all of that, it could just be a little boost with ayyám-i-há in mind and an opportunity to learn about and participate in another culture
It is an open invitation from me, someone raised baha'i, to all of you! I think I covered my thoughts? but if anyone has any questions or anything feel free :)
16 notes · View notes
toastsnaffler · 10 months
Text
actually ive been thinking abt this a lot lately like basically for years i assumed i was very (cis)het passing and only recently ive become aware that i am in fact. very obviously perhaps almost comically gay to other queer ppl. like lmaoooo ok then
#i think its bc a) when i came out at like 15 everyone was super surprised so i assumed ppl still found it unexpected even now#+ b) im not super aware of social cues generally (autism) so dont tend to pick up on stuff like that unless its explicitly said#+ also c) ive never felt like i physically appear very conspicuous bc i dont have any piercings/tattoos/never dyed my hair etc#i only cut my hair short relatively recently too..... so idk i just assumed i blended into the background for everyone#but now im interacting with ppl outside of my tighter social circle more often ive become more aware-#of how ppl might perceive me. or rather ive become aware of just how UNaware i am of how ppl might perceive me#and its really funny how many odd interactions ive had in the past suddenly make sense if u assume the other person clocked me as gay#like strangers that have gotten flustered around me that might be bc i was giving off strong dyke vibes etc#the other day i was in a bookstore and the guy behind the counter was very stiff + quiet until i replied to smth he said and suddenly he-#became way more animated + started talking to me more casually + that was the first time i realised i probably sound gay as fuck#like i think i kinda have a stereotypical gay mannerism/lilt to the way i talk... no wonder i used to get called a fag so often lmfao#or like i remember trying to find a lab partner in 3rd yr of my degree + i had to do it on call only bc of covid + there were a bunch-#of us with similar lab interests but it got sorted SO fast bc this one other student seemed to gravitate immediately towards me#and i remember thinking afterward that it was odd how quickly we resolved that. esp bc we didnt even meet it was just voice call#anyway yeah i found out she was a dyke much later but i think maybe she clocked me straight away bc of how i sound....?#and that was why she warmed to me so quickly... but god i remember debating for ages with my ex abt whether she was gay or not#like my gaydar is truly terrible i suck balls at picking up on cues so its funny that to some people im reeking signals#also i met up with an ollldddd old friend last week + 30 secs in she was like oh fuck you must use different pronouns now#gesturing to Me. like oh..... im visibly gnc......? or maybe behaviourally???? idk. also shes v femme which made me realise that-#i rly do come across kinda masc/butch nowadays. even tho ive never really thought abt it that deeply before or made an effort to#i mean yeah i do identify along those lines but ive never directly considered how to flag that to other people etc im just doing me baby#ANYWAY this has been a rly long ramble idr what point i was getting at but just find it fascinating to think abt how im read in public#bc im just genuinely so unaware of it. its weirdly rly validating to find out that im automatically recognised as dykey + a little masc#boosted my confidence a lot as well tbh ive felt rly comfortable in myself lately. partly also cuz im getting a little muscular ;^)#ANYWAYYYYYY enough of all that i need to go sleep if youre reading this ily goodnighttt xoxo#.diaries
3 notes · View notes
traitorsinsalem · 2 years
Text
Tumblr media
goodness gracious mama mia
#succ speaks#fuck the bts team for not showing them divorce court btw.#i never thought i would see such a disappointing mianite-related stream. and i watched all of isles! [old man laugh track]#somehow this was the greatest video game event i have ever taken part in thanks to the awesome community (including the one ending in mc)#but this stream sucked absolute donkey dick. glad we can get back on the server and this wasn't the end of it.#not the streamers' fault though i think. the event was just nothing like promised. i'll be honest i was an isles apologist until now.#something something they worked so hard to make it happen and keep it running why the unnecessary hate....i can't lie to myself anymore man.#a lot of us thought the stream was going to be more lighthearted and not hardass objective build judge w/ half the plots taken out for time#like sure the prize was a good amount of money but tom and jordan were clearly trying to have fun but felt like they couldn't that much. idk#the absolutely brilliant times we had building and having fun and talking and helping each other on the server felt like they were erased...#...from this stream. EVEN THE END was super watered down and dec definitely did his best to give them the background of it all.#idk. madspy and dec were super cool i feel like some other factors and/or people behind this caused it to flop with the community.#the mods can only do so much 'your build was amazing and unique you should be proud of it' or whatever without showcasing the things...#...we were all talking and laughing and excited about while on the server. it feels like this wasn't an event that was meant to leave...#a certain circle. this is just my view but personally i would have enjoyed this way more if there WASN'T a streamed judging.#or that the judging was a couple of days long so they didn't have to rush through it and everyone could be seen.#i think the mods should take our gripes into consideration rather than trying to cheer us up or act like it's our problem.#but hey. [old man laugh track] thaaaaat's our good ol' mianite!#the event itself though was incredible and i'm really happy it happened. like the actual building part. i got a lot out of it and got to...#...meet so many people. we all had a lot of fun and put in a lot of time and work but it didn't feel like a burden to partake in it yk!#having dec and madspy and wh (i forget his name all the time) on a lot was really fun too! they were really kind and fun to be around...#...and we got to learn some cool little bits of bts info. finding out that dec was 16 when mianite started was INSANE especially.#and like i'm not just salty cuz my build wasn't featured. being able to make it in the first place was enough for me bc it was my first...#...serious build! and the other people on the server really enjoyed it and to me having the community appreciate it is so much more...#...heartwarming to me and makes me happier than if this would have been a 'private' thing and the streamers looked through every bit...#...and praised it. i loved being able to take part in this event but honestly i wish i wouldn't have watched the stream. it made me upset...#...to see so many INSANE builds and aspects of builds i got to watch people work on and help them with get mere crumbs of recognition.#i know tom in particular appreciates mianite fan content so splitting this up into multiple streams so they didn't get bored or tired or...#...have to rush would have been a pretty obvious solution. but again you can always count on the mianite bts team to make things...#...unnecessarily complicated or simple while ignoring the very clear best paths! [old man laugh track]
9 notes · View notes
imma-bs-it · 4 months
Text
Not assemble season 5 having a completely different animation style for no conceivable reason
0 notes
yandere-sins · 8 months
Note
Imagine getting isekai’ed into otome game as a background character, watching the main character going down routes as you live your peaceful, mundane life, but you’ve unknowingly been going down a route as well, a route for a hidden character that you didn’t discover during your time playing the game.
That character being the reason the game has a dark content warning.
Gosh anon, that idea is so good!!!! I didn't know it would tickle all the right places in my brain, but when I started I couldn't stop lol. Love it, thank you for sending it in ♥
If this had one of these super long titles that are tmi it would be:
I got Isekai'ed into an Otome Game as a Background Character and now I Have to Finish It with the Secret Yandere Love Interest!!
»»———————— ♡ ————————««     
A serene smile spread over your lips as you watched the two lovebirds in the corner of your coffee shop.
Swirling the milk into a cup, it created a little white heart surrounded by foamy coffee, its aroma drifting into your nose. Had someone told you that the little things like a cup of coffee made with love and care were enough to give you the peace of mind you always wanted in your previous life, you would have laughed at them. For you, it had always been the hustle, the making money, finding a partner, and creating a family. Make everyone proud while being successful, whether it costs you nights of sleep or days without proper meals. But looking at yourself now, it all seemed so far away now, and you let out a content sigh before setting down the cup in front of the customer at the bar. 
"You seem happy today," your regular at the counter noted, picking up the cup and taking a moment to appreciate the aroma just like you had. A smile sneaked onto their lips, too, after they took a sip, and you couldn't help but feel your heart swell with pride and happiness when they gave you a satisfied nod. 
"I am! I'm really getting accustomed to my new life here, it's... been a while since I've been so content."
The truth behind everything that happened to you was something you couldn't speak about lightly. Not when it turned the life you knew upside down, leaving you to start over completely. One day you were an employee of a well-known company, responsible for sales and reports and everything stressful. And the next, you were in your favorite, cozy video game, running the coffee shop the main character liked to visit with all the romance options in the game.
Isekai was the genre that came to mind when you thought about your situation. Luckily you were spared the memories of your death in the real world, the circumstances blurry as you barely remembered going home late from work, only to wake up in this very different universe. Perhaps you were just comatose, and this was a dream. Still, by now, you had managed to slip into your role as the barista of the small coffee shop, a barely mentioned background character, just fine.
Your eyes jumped back to the couple in the corner, giggling and teasing each other over a group project, and you felt an immense relief you weren't reincarnated as the main protagonist and had to go through the years of studying and trying to establish connections with the love interests again. You already did that in your old life, and it wasn't as romantic and fun as the game made it out to be. You only played it because it got your mind off things, the art was pretty, and it had the exact amount of cozy time management you needed to relax. But living as the main character in it? No, thank you!
"Jealous?" your regular teased, and you chuckled, shaking your head. They tapped their—now empty—cup, and you took it from them, replacing it with some water until you had the next cup of coffee ready for them.
"I just think it's cute. I never had someone so interested in me they'd take me out for coffee and share their cake with me when I was younger."
Your words tasted a little bitter on your tongue. Still, you genuinely couldn't wish for anything but the main character's happiness. It was just the feeling of being loved, desired, and wanted that you missed, even though your new life was more than satisfactory despite you feeling a little lonely sometimes.
"Well, it's never too late to start," they chuckled, taking up their fork and cutting off the tip of their strawberry shortcake, including the big chunk of strawberry on top, picking it up and holding it out towards you. 
"Oh, I wouldn't dare--"
"I insist! As thanks for the amazing coffee every time I come here."
Nudging your lips with their fork, you let out an awkward chuckle. It was okay, right? They wouldn't sue you for eating the cake they paid for, would they? This was just a silly little game. What could go wrong with you accepting their kindness?
Opening your lips, you let them feed you the cake, taking a moment to let the sweet and fruity notes mix with the fluffy whip cream before you were sent straight to heaven. Not to toot your own horn, but your baking skills had improved so much since you started working at the shop. Who knew you had that in you?
Occupied with the moment of bliss as you let the cake flavor mix in your mouth, you hummed happily before devoting yourself back to making the coffee with a smile on your face. Unaware of your regular fixating on the fork you had just eaten from, staring at it like it was some strange artifact. Your phone dinged softly in its drawer, and you checked it briefly to see the notification pinging up, saying, "Achievement unlocked: Cake-Master - Provide the most delicious cake to your customers."
"Excuse me!" the main character called out to you, stepping up to the counter, and you directed your attention to her, ignoring the little game notification you've been receiving since starting your new life here, the love interest not far away before the two began fighting over who was going to pay the bill this time lovingly. Of course, the love interest won, but you wouldn't have expected it any other way. Seeing the blush on the main character's face after her romance option told her he'd "always take care" of her made you grin like a little fan, and you cheered them on in your head. 
By the time you returned to your regular, their knuckles had gone white with how hard they were gripping the fork in their hand, their eyes following the couple who was about to leave. For a moment, it made you wonder if they had a crush on either of them, their sweet interaction surely uncomfortable if that was the case. But you didn't remember there being a jealousy scene in the game. You'd know, almost playing it 100% before your death. There apparently was a secret route you never got but were trying your hardest to achieve. Now you were left to wonder what it entailed.
But the second you returned, they looked up at you, expression softening and the tension disappearing, and you chalked it up to having witnessed a cringe moment that they had gotten so awkward. "Thank you for the cake, that was really nice of you! Do you want another fork?" you asked and were met with a headshake and a smile. 
They quickly began eating their cake and complimenting your baking skills, stroking your growing ego when they rubbed their belly. 
"I never had a cake that good!" they proclaimed, and you laughed out loud, overjoyed that you had made them so happy. 
"Say..." they suddenly spoke up again, leaning on the counter and watching you with gentle eyes. Your heart set out for a second, tension rising as you didn't know what they were going to ask. Ever since you opened the coffee shop, the main character, love interests, and this regular had come by constantly. If you were honest, you enjoyed their visits more and more. Their presence felt like it belonged here with you, and you were a part of something bigger after all, washing away the small, lonely part of you. 
And maybe... just maybe... this was how your happy end would play out.
"Are you this nice to every customer?"
Halting your movements, you set aside the brew head that you used on the espresso machine, despite having to clean it, thinking about your answer for a moment. It was a strange question to ask someone who worked in customer service. Still, you appreciated your regular, so you didn't want to give them a snarky answer.
"Uhm, well, I am just trying to make everyone feel welcome! But of course, it's a bit different with my regulars! After all, they come here often, like a second family. So I guess I'm a bit nicer because you really get to know and appreciate these people that stay to chat and tell stories."
"I see," they muttered. "Family, huh..."
After that, you suddenly were swamped with sudden orders, excusing yourself to fulfill them, chatting and laughing with even the people that were just passing by. Maybe you really were just nice? Perhaps this new environment had made you more relaxed and gentle than the harsh world you lived in, and it was showing? But their question was shoved into the back of your mind as you kept fulfilling orders and earning your keep.
Once the rush was over, you returned to your regular, only to find their seat empty. Strange, you thought. You could have sworn that you felt their eyes on you the whole time you were away, but luckily, they didn't walk out on their tab, leaving the money and a folded-up napkin beneath their empty cup for you to find. You quickly stored away the bills, trusting your regular with knowing what they had to pay after so many weeks of the same order.
You were about to throw away their napkin when you noticed some red marks on them, unwrapping the paper to find a note scribbled in what you had to assume was ink. 
"You're so beautiful when you laugh."
The surprise wore off quite fast, and you smiled, thinking nothing of it but that it was a nice compliment from your regular. Still, you ended up throwing the napkin away—not knowing if it was dirty, after all—taking the coffee cup and plate to the sink to clean them, overseeing the red tip on the fork that was too dark to be from the strawberry.
The rest of your day was uneventful, and by the time you were closing, you were tired and ready to tug in for the night, wrapping up your business at the shop quickly before walking home. You didn't have a chance to look at your phone since you glanced at the achievement notification, so you took it out, startled when you saw a dozen new messages. 
Achievement unlocked: Happy new life - Be content with your new life
Achievement unlocked: A fork for two! - Share a fork with someone special
Achievement unlocked: Jealousy - Make someone special jealous
Achievement unlocked: Soothing - Calm someone special down with your presence
Achievement unlocked: Family - Have someone be moved by your words
Achievement unlocked: The nicest person in town - Be beloved by all, but especially by someone special
Achievement unlocked: Blood in the cup - Have someone hurt themselves at your coffee shop
Achievement unlocked: Wonder-Barista - Complete twenty orders in less than thirty minutes
Achievement unlocked: Strange compliment - Receive a compliment through unusual means
Achievement unlocked: Blooming infatuation - Have someone special fall in love with you
Achievement unlocked: Shop-Pro! - Close the shop twenty times after making a profit from your work
Achievement unlocked: Tired - Hard workers deserve to relax
You blinked a few times, surprised by what you were reading and a little weirded out by some of these achievements. They gave you some extra coins in your shop till and reputation with the townspeople, so you usually didn't mind them. But to say some of their descriptions were weird was an understatement. You couldn't even remember someone getting hurt at your workplace that day.
By the time you reached your apartment, you decided to ignore the strange notifications and just let the day come to an end with a hot bath and your favorite show. But you were startled when your phone suddenly began ringing loudly, even though you had turned off the sound back at the coffee shop after the first notification. The first messages that appeared before you were more achievements, and you stopped turning the key in your door as you read them.
Achievement unlocked: Follower - Have someone special follow you home
Achievement unlocked: Welcome home! - Arrive at home, not alone
Achievement unlocked: Wherever you go, I'll be watching you - Ɨ ΔΜ ΔŁŴΔ¥Ş ŴΔŦĆĦƗŇǤ ¥ØỮ
Lifting your head, you looked around you, glancing over your shoulder and into the courtyard below. No one was out; everyone was at home eating dinner and occupied with their lives. Confused, you swiped all the notifications away before another pop-up appeared.
ALERT! You're about to enter X's route. Do you want to continue?
> Yes > No
Panicked at this point, you pressed "No," but nothing happened. You kept tapping it repeatedly, not understanding what was happening with your phone. But nothing changed, the notification staying in place. The sound of something breaking inside your apartment tore your focus away from your phone, startling you. 
You must have finally managed to close it, the pop-up disappearing just as you unlocked the door to your apartment, still having held on to the key when you were surprised by the sound. Darkness and silence greeted you from inside, everything seemingly normal.
Majorly confused, you shook your head, slowly entering the hallway leading inside. "Hello?" you called out, reaching for the light switch. The light flickered on, and... there was no one. Holding your breath, no sound reached your ears, and you groaned, realizing you got freaked out about... nothing. 
This wasn't some kind of horror game, and the story never had a murder-solving subplot. True, the ratings for it were kind of strange—it being rated as 18+ on the website—but seriously, what should happen in a cozy little city like the one the game played in? You didn't even think they had a police station here.
Pushing off your shoes as you shrugged off the weird feeling from before, you walked up the hallway to your living room, turning on the light before coming to an abrupt halt. There were broken pieces of glass underneath your living room window, but what really freaked you out came into view only when you lifted your head. You could look into the mirror of your cabinet door from your position, red marker dripping from it as if someone had hastily scribbled on it just seconds ago. You weren't sure it was a pen anymore, judging by its deep red color and the fluidity of it.
"𝘪 𝘸𝘪𝘴𝘩 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘥 𝘰𝘯𝘭𝘺 𝘭𝘢𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘮𝘦 𝘪𝘵 𝘥𝘳𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘴 𝘮𝘦 𝘤𝘳𝘢𝘻𝘺"
Your phone pinged.
Achievement unlocked: 
On the Highway to Hell - Unlock the secret route
9K notes · View notes