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the-sweetest-dragon · 4 years

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A Summer Like Never Before

A Summer Job AU - No Pennywise - Georgie is alive - Mostly tomfoolery

Fandom: It

Characters: Stan, Richie, Mike, Bev, Ben, Bill, Eddie

Word Count: 1125

Ships: Eventual Benverly, Reddie, Stan x Patty

Warnings: Out of character behavior, fluffy as fuck

AN: i wrote this in about an hour, so if it sucks that’s why. also, wrote it while rewatching chapter one and i’m proud to say i can recite a good portion of it still, look at me go

Tags: @nerdsarebetter @just-another-shipper-01 @audder17 @andykilldiot

Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five Chapter Six Chapter Seven Chapter Eight Chapter Nine Chapter Ten Chapter Eleven

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Chapter Eleven

“Richie… we have a lot to talk about.”

The words fell out of Eddie’s mouth before he could stop them. Instant regret filled his stomach and he could feel an anxiety attack coming on. Why would he say that? Why would he give himself away like that? Richie didn’t feel the same way and Eddie knew it. He could tell in the way that Richie never looked at him, at least not in any meaningful way. Richie never gave any signs that he was into Eddie, at all.

He felt his breath speed up and his heart starts pounding, like he’s just got finished running a race. Eddie took his hands off Richie’s face and reached for his fanny pack, forgetting that he hadn’t carried an inhaler since middle school. Richie’s eyebrows bunched together in a concerned look and grabbed Eddie’s hands.

“Hey, you gotta breathe Eddie.” Richie looks directly into his eyes and starts taking deep breaths, waiting for Eddie to join him. He tries to calm his breathing, he really does but the eye contact makes it worse. Eddie looks away from Richie’s deep brown eyes to focus on something else, anything else. “Eddie…” Richie warns and his eyes snap back to Richie’s. “What’s wrong? Is it something I did? How can I fix it?”

Eddie shakes his head and tries to calm himself by rubbing circles on knee. Every few circles he takes a deeper breath until he’s finally calm enough to keep eye contact. Eddie had never noticed how long Richie’s eyelashes were. Unimportant, he reminds himself. He takes a steadying breath, to gather his courage.

“Do you ever feel stuck in your own body, unable to say and do what you want?” he blurts out. Richie tilts his head, a questioning look on his face. Eddie scoffs, turning away to look out the windshield. “Of course you don’t. You’ve always been free to do what you want and say what you want. Nothing holds you back from going after anything you put your mind to.”

A long pause comes after. Eddie looks up to see Richie with a look of pure sadness spread across his face. He reaches a hand out and grasps Eddie’s, entwining their fingers.

“There are lots of things I don’t say Eddie, especially to you. I know you think I’m free and don’t care about what other people think of me, but I do. I care a lot.” Richie takes a deep breath before continuing. “I’ve been lying to you for years.”

Eddie’s heart stops in his chest. He’s been lying to him? About what? And for how long? Eddie looks away, tears in his eyes. He thought they’d never lie to each other, it was their one constant. Was Eddie being a hypocrite? Yes, but that’s besides the point. Richie had never lied to him, was always upfront about his feelings and life. Hell, Eddie was the first person he had come out to when he discovered he liked boys. Keeping a secret for years just wasn’t Richie. Eddie heard him sigh and then his voice filled the car, uncertainty lacing his usually casual voice.

“We’ve been friends since kindergarten, Eddie. You know I’d never do anything to mess that up, even with all my mom jokes.” Eddie cracks a small smile, his courage building. Maybe Richie’s secret wasn’t that big a deal. “You’re my best friend Eduardo.” Richie smiles widely and everything clicks into place; Eddie knows what he has to do.

Before he could stop himself, Eddie blurts “I love you!”

Richie blinks several times, his eyebrows nearly reaching his hairline in surprise. Eddie squeezes his hand, waiting impatiently for an answer. His eye twitches from the anxiety of the situation. Instead of an answer, Richie leans in, their foreheads almost touching. His eyes question Eddie, and he gives a slight nod in answer. The kiss that follows is mind blowing, Richie’s lips soft against his own. Eddie brings his hands up to Richie’s cheeks and slowly deepens the kiss. It lasts for maybe a few seconds, but to Eddie it feels like hours pass by. He never knew kissing could feel like this, like love and reassurance all wrapped in one. Eddie tugs gently on one of Richie’s curls, inciting a sigh from the other boy. They slowly pull away, Richie resting his forehead on Eddie’s to catch his breath. For once, Eddie didn’t feel breathless. Richie pulls away completely, a wide smile on his face.

“I’ve loved you since middle school. Every joke, every jab at your mother was a way to keep my feelings from being discovered. I thought…” Richie takes a deep breath. “I thought if I could pretend to just be your friend that the crush would go away. I didn’t want you to see me as a freak for liking boys.” Richie smiles for a moment, then continues. “The crush didn’t go away. I thought dating Connor would help take my mind off you but it didn’t and I can’t say I’m sad that it ended. It wasn’t right, for either of us and I think he knew that…that I was always going to be in love with you.” Richie meets Eddie’s eyes, their dark glow entrapping him. The words don’t hit him for a few moments and then the world stops completely.

“You love me?” he whispers. Richie nods. Eddie grabs his shirt and kisses him soundly on the mouth, Richie’s glasses cutting into his face with the force of the kiss. They kiss and kiss and kiss until they have to pull away for breath. Eddie rubs his nose against Richie’s, a soft acceptance of his declaration.

“What does this mean for us? Are we dating? Do you want to date?” Eddie asks, rapid fire, not allowing Richie to get a word in edgewise, as usual. Richie cover’s his mouth with a hand, a wide smile spread across his face.

“Eduardo, I’d love to date you. In fact, I thought you’d never ask.” Richie gets serious for a moment, a funny look on his face. “What are we going to tell the group? They don’t know you’re out, do they?” Eddie ponders for a moment and then shrugs as Richie removes his hand from Eddie’s mouth.

“I think they’re aware, especially after the disaster that was the winter formal. Besides, they won’t care. They’re our friends, Richie.” Eddie grins, a thought stuck in his mind. “So, since middle school huh? You’ve got me beat then. I didn’t realize I loved you until sophomore year, when you started dating Connor.” Richie raises an eyebrow and shifts in his seat. “I was so jealous I could have screamed.”

“Jealous eh? Oh Eduardo, you shoulda told me,” he says with a smirk.

“Oh I regret telling you now. That’s it, confession time over.” Richie laughs, Eddie joining in a second later.

This summer could only get better from here, right?

#eddie kaspbrak #richie tozier #reddie #beverly marsh #ben hanscom #mike hanlon #stanley uris #bill denbrough #benverly #it #it chapter one #it chapter two #a summer like never before #losers #losers club

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gleefail · 4 years

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Glee Memories: 1x7 Throwdown

A long, long time ago, as Glee was approaching graduation in Season 3, I found myself nostalgic with some rare free time on my hands. So I decided to rewatch the series from the beginning and jot down some memories, discrepancies that have arisen since, fave quotes, tally solos - all that good stuff, strictly for shits and giggles.

8 years later (eek!) and once more I find myself with an unexpected abundance of free time. With so many revisiting or being newly introduced to the show between binge watching during Quarantine and all the tragedy that has surrounded the show since it went off the air, I figured I’d finish what I started. And by finish, I mean go through the end of S3. Cause I truly cannot acknowledge what happened after that. Except for 5B.

Kicking this off by reposting the first 15 episodes I already went through. Enjoy!

1x7 Throwdown okay, on the ‘what you missed on Glee’ they just said that Terri’s fake pregnancy was her sister’s idea. Um…nope. Not accurate at all.

“Look at me. Even in the heat of battle, I am so elegant. Regal.”

“Listen to us – we’re even fighting in our voice-overs” I remember that being the first time I really went “wow Glee. That’s reeeeeally not funny. At all.”

Rachel just told Mercedes “it’s Glee club, not krunk club” and Kurt snapped in Rachel’s face before his little secret shake thingy with Mercedes. Damn I love Kurtcedes. They’re the best.

“I’m about to vomit down your back”

oh Lord. Quinn’s not even showing yet and they’re giving her the sex of the baby? My friend just found out and I think she’s 6 months along.

Also, is it at all appropriate for a teacher to be driving two sophomores (15 years old) to a doctor’s appointment? What kinda school is this?

“The independent polling company in my Dockers has determined you’re the hottest girl in the school.” They really pushed some boundaries with some of the shit that comes out of Jacob’s mouth, lol.

Was it ever revealed who told Jacob about Quinn being pregnant?

Page 24 provision 14 second addendum: 12 members must perform for each team however not all members must perform every song. Thank God, otherwise there’d be no Troubletones competing now <3

“Santana. Wheels. Gay Kid. Asian. Other Asian. Aretha. Shaft.” Legendary. <3

Sue: “Bigotry is no laughing matter.” Santana: “And that’s how Sue…C’s it” Sue: “Outstanding” I still LOVE that moment.

“I mean, what are the chances of the baby getting Polio.”

“Bye Kendra!” “I HATE YOU, WILL!”

Yeah, he just said Quinn had a 10 week ultrasound. Can you really know the sex that early?

Ew. Rachel Berry panties.

Oh Hate On Me. Amber Riley is a goddess. I also think this was what made me honestly think (from this point through a big stretch of Season One) that Mercedes was popular. Honestly just cause she seemed super buddy buddy with Mike and Matt, who were the popular football players.

“Oh hey, buddy – I thought I smelled failure.”

“Those drinks are CRAP!” And then she just grabs a slushie out of a kids hands and throws it to the ground. Sue’s the shit.

um…all but 3 cheerleaders are academically ineligible…one of them is Britany? #oops

haha, a cheerleader answered all her Spanish questions with a picture of a sombrero. That’s awesome.

“Should they learn Spanish? Sure, if they wanna be dishwashers and gardeners” I kinda miss the political incorrectness and balls this show used to have

Figgins put the YouTube video up himself so Sue can’t blackmail him anymore. Maybe the first time a storyline fizzled out and if you blinked, you missed the resolution (if they even gave you any)…but certainly not the last

omg. Sue’s rampage. The music. Her screaming. Figgins’ “No! Not the children!” So. Effing. Funny.

Drizzle. I forgot about that #BlessFinnsHeart

It’s kinda funny that this show has now mentioned both John Stamos and Gweneth Paltrow, future guest stars.

“Give me my test back.” “I just don’t understand anything.” “That’s not my problem.” Was this the first moment we saw that Britany’s not all there?

This moment of unrecorded jamming in the choir room to Ride With Me is still one of the best moments of the glee club. It’s just real. And they’re having so much fun. It makes me sad that it’s coming to an end.

“Bye white people”

“Excuse me. What about us? You expect us to just sway back here like props?” Two seasons later. Still an issue. ETA: an entire episode dedicated to “yes, just like the props you are for Rachel Berry. And you should be okay with that.”

“I can’t do a song with 3 kids!” “Not with that attitude”

Keep Me Hangin’ On. Thus started me wondering “um…ok, but…was that necessary?” on this show. Mainly cause of the cutaway to the auditorium. Couldn’t they just do the routine as cheerleaders on the field and then cut to Quinn’s life and have that be enough? The auditorium stuff left me confused. And was kinda trashy. For no reason.

“Y’know, it’s sad enough that my Sue’s kids are living in squalor and probably on food stamps-“ “My dad’s a dentist” Hooray for continuity!

I remember being annoyed with Rachel when she offered to show everyone how to storm out…cause like…she was no part of that moment…and Tina and Mercedes were already storming out…

“Look, who’s to say that the way I do things is 100% on the ball…” “No one would say that”

“So it doesn’t matter that Rachel is Jewish, or that Finn is…” “unable to tell my rights from my lefts” #BlessFinnsHeart

I don’t agree with what Sue did, but it felt like the first time she showed vulnerability when she got upset finding out that Quinn was pregnant. Cause it was like she was hurt that Quinn didn’t trust her enough to tell her, but she told people in Glee.

Keep Holding On made me cry the first time I saw it. Also it’s one of the few songs that New Directions looks like a REAL showchoir.

Kurt is crying for Quinn in this song. And giving her comforting smiles when they partner together. Oh Kurt. He still has a little piece of my heart, fabulous little gay angel.

Listen, I like Diana Agron and all, but for some reason, her crying at the end of this ep (after Sue outs her pregnancy and at the end of Keep Holding On) feels terribly fake. What is that about? Diana’s so good at stuff like that! SOLOS: Mercedes (1), Rachel (2), Finn (2), Quinn (1)

#Glee Memories #Glee #lol Glee #Glee Throwdown

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starcoanonymous · 5 years

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My Story with Starco and my Letter of Goodbye

Hi, not sure if anyone reading this will know me but I’m Starcoanonymous. I’m a giant fan of Star vs. the Forces of Evil and Starco and have been in the fandom since I discovered it since the first four episodes were released. I grew this blog and wrote a ton on fanfiction.net as FanfictionForDayz in the hopes that one day, this ship would become canon. Looking at myself right now, it’s really strange how this is the only shipping pair I would truly care for and how obsessed I was by it. I don’t care though. It changed my life for the better. Today, I have finished watching all the episodes of Season 4 that I have missed due to college. Now that Starco is canon, it is time for me to say goodbye. This is more for me to remember the good times in the show but if you would like, feel free to tag along for the awesome ride.

Backstory:

Where to start? To begin with, I’m not much of a fandom guy. I did love to watch cartoons but I would never be a real ‘fan’ of the show. That’s as true now as it was then. The only show I was really ever going to be a fan of is this one.

However, the shows that I did like always had unfinished ships. For example, in Pokemon, everytime I wanted Ash and the girl to be together, they wouldn’t. In Yu-Gi-Oh, the main protagonist would never get with the girl. I hated it when that happened. I wasn’t fully aware at the time what ships were and how much I really hated to see that type of thing. Also to mention, I did not like those drama filled, complicated love stories like seen in Twilight and other media back then.

Around 2015 is when I found SVTFOE. I was a sophomore in high school and things were just tough. I wasn’t being bullied or anything, I just was not enjoying high school very much. Now I know I said I’m not much of a fandom guy, but around that time I was also reading the Percy Jackson and the Olympians series and reading a TON of fanfiction about it. I loved Percy and Annabeth being together but there really was no visual representation to latch on to (the movie did not do that series justice). It was really around then I discovered that I loved to see the characters I loved get together.

Season 1:

The TV in the living room was on and by happenstance, it was turned to Disney Channel. I think it was turned to “School Spirit” and something about the show, irked me. The art style, the personalities, I have no idea but as SOON as I saw Star and Macro on the same screen, I absolutely needed to know who they were and what this show was. So, I decided to give this show a try. Dear lord, you cannot imagine what happens next.

At this point in time, the first four episodes were out and the fifth was about to be released in the upcoming week. I watched the first four episodes and I have never been the same since.

There was something refreshing about this show. Something dare I say, magical, about how they structured the first few episodes. I really for the life of me cannot tell you what that meant, but I can tell you that every single night I rewatched those four episodes OVER and OVER again. I am not joking when I tell you that I probably have watched those four episodes combined at least 50 times. After doing research, I came across two very, specific pictures/gifs created by tumblr user @skleero which sealed my fate.

I still have no idea what about this made me go absolutely insane for this show but I do know what made me fall in love with it. The first is the art style. This show’s art style is FANTASTIC. I absolutely love the art style and I praise Nefcy for that in my mind every day. Second, there were no real hints about shipping given out at all. Taking a look at the first four episodes, I didn’t know where this show would take it. I found out however, that I loved not knowing. I hated the idea of not seeing this ship come to life but I loved the possibility that that was the case. I consider this, “shipping masochism.” After all, the goal is worth more if it is hard to achieve.

I was obsessed. Maybe you don’t realize yet how obsessed I was. I literally paused and played each of those four episodes until I examined every single scene where Star and Marco was nearly in contact with each other. Yes, it sounds like an unhealthy obsession but looking at myself today, it truly did me good. It brought me so much joy to watch this show I only have good memories of that time.

Episode 5 comes around and I enjoy it as much as the previous episodes. However, I find out that there is a two month long hiatus until the next episode, “Mewberty/Pixtopia.” To cope with this, I look for other ways to satisfy my needs. I research everything I can about Starco, I scrolled through google images to look for more fan art of it, I even played the game that Disney came out with on their website to promote it. I don’t exactly remember what it was called but I got a tip off saying that Ludo called Marco Star’s boyfriend and that was all it took to get me to play through the whole game and screen shot that exact moment (they later removed that line, sneaky people).

Around then is when I started to read fanfiction for the show. I loved the endless possibilities. I loved not knowing where this ship would go. So, I read every fanfction. Yes, EVERY fanfiction. I first went through fanfiction.net and read EVERY. SINGLE. AVAILABLE. FAN FICTION (about Starco). I became upset that there wasn’t anymore as there were only about 20ish pages of fanfiction stories at the time. So, I went on Archive of Our Own and read every single one there (about Starco). Then, since I still was not satisfied, I read every single fanfiction in the most obscure websites, and saved the text on my Notes app on my IPhone (which I still have. I love these stories).

At this point, I still did not have enough content. I needed more. I found out about tumblr and looked through the Starco tag, but I needed more. So, I got the idea that, instead of looking for content, why don’t I just make it? So, I started up a blog here where I would repost a ton of things and make a few funny edits a long the way and created an account of fanfiction.net where I would write a ton of my own fanfictions on my account FanfictionForDayz.

And so I went, spending all my time enjoying writing fanfiction, watching SVTFOE, watching every scene for every single touch between Star and Marco, trying to find out who Toffee was, banging my face into my pillow as I witnessed Bloodmoon Ball all up till the end of season 1.

Season 2:

At the end of season 1, I couldn’t imagine not being as obsessed with this show, but well, as time flew and there was no episodes for a whole school year, I started to write less and less fanfiction and read less about SVTFOE. I was growing up a little and didn’t have enough time to wait for that Season 2 to come out.

But when it did come out, I was so pumped. It had been nearly a whole year since season 1 ended and there was nothing about to stop me from watching my favorite show. And so I went, absolutely enjoying the show and enjoying the little hints they were pumping out about Starco, even acknowledging the name of the ship in one of the episodes which made me cry honestly.

Then came the dreaded episode. ‘Bon Bon the Birthday Clown.’ All my worst fears were realized. Starco was not cannon and my headcanon of Star and Marco being each others first kissed went out the window. I truly did enjoy the episode but man did it sting. The first realized ship of this show and it was not the main one. I vented my frustrations with funny clips and simply believed Starco would be end game.

Two videos I uploaded during season 2 &3:

youtube

At this point, I truly could not bear to write anymore fanfiction. I really only liked writing headcanons, things that were still possible in the show. I did not want to write anymore headcanons with Jarco still being a thing. So I trudged on cursing (not really) Daron for torturing me.

Near the finale, I went crazy. I could not believe Star was revealed to liking Marco. To me, this was the most forbidden thing that anyone could ever do in this show. Why? My previous experience with non-canon ships made me believe that ships were supposed to be on the down low, not mentioned too much as part of the story. This was different however, and out came my excitement as one step towards Starco finally had been accomplished.

Season 3:

I’m not going to lie, Season 3 was probably my least favorite. I’m sure you can see why. Right as Jackie and Marco broke up, Tom and Star get together. It was like cruelest fate as a Starco shipper. So close, yet so far.

Not only that, I did not enjoy it as much as season 1 & 2 because it put too much emphasis on the drama and love in my opinion. I liked the scarcity of it because it made it all the more sweeter. I also did not like the drama being the main focus of the story. I preferred it in the way that there was a main plot and the drama was just a side plot. Nevertheless, I enjoyed watching every single episode.

Season 4:

Here I am in college, and for the first time, I told Starco to wait. I love the ship but I needed to get good grades this quarter. So when time came for the final season to come out, I decided to wait. I decided for the first time in a long time to get serious with studies. Starco didn’t take away my time for studying at all, I just decided to hold it off until time came where I could enjoy season 4 to the fullest, by myself just like when I first started watching this show. No fanfictions, no tumblr, no news, just me and the episodes.

I achieved the highest grades I’ve gotten in a long time with a 3.8 GPA this quarter. After that, I was ready to watch season 4.

At first, I paced myself. Two episodes a day. So I could fully enjoy them. Eventually, around episode 14 came around and I gave in to my love of the show and spent the whole day watching the rest of season 4.

Watching the show, seeing all the previous characters come back, and realizing how different the show was from the first episode made me realize, the adventure is coming to a close. I knew it was coming and I knew that there probably wasn’t any chance of season 5 happening because the story was wrapping up so nicely. I just hoped. Hoped for the perfect ending.

Finally, 4 years of patiently waiting. 4 years of driving myself so that I could see Starco become a thing. 4 years. And I finally see it. Not only are they simply smiling at each other, they even kissed; a real kiss unlike the one at the photo booth. They are both single, both are ready, both like each other, and both kissed.

Now, as a mature, college sophomore, who has moved away from the cringe of their teen years, I’m sure you understand that I handled it like a mature, responsible- Who am I kidding, I screamed so loud I’m sure I’ll get noise complaints for my neighbors. I praised the world as I saw my ship become real.

Only, there was one more problem to settle.

I didn’t know what was going to happen. Was Marco going to be sent away? This would be the cruelest fate. The universe itself trying to rip your ship apart. I had to hold my breath. Then came the portal at the end of the final episode. I screamed at Star and Marco to run like their lives DEPENDED on it (mine did).

Then came a most beautiful ending. Hey. It made me want to cry. My ship was canon. That’s all I needed. There are infinite possibilities from what could’ve happened from that point on but to me, I couldn’t ask for better. I would want to see an epilogue of some sort but I’m fine with even this. The deed is done. Starco is canon. And my job is finished.

Goodbye:

Dear SVTFOE,

Thank you. I am obsessed with you because you portray something I believe in. Tom said it perfectly: “I need someone I can be best friends with.” My teacher once said that your spouse is your best friend. I believe everyone’s fateful other will be their best friend. I wanted to believe in something that didn’t seem too likely. I wanted to believe that anything is possible, and it did. Even if it wasn’t that unlikely, it happened.

You gave me the strength and energy I needed when I felt down. You gave me a reason to grow. You gave me a reason to grow up. Even though at times I didn’t like where you were going, I found that in the end, I enjoyed you through and through. I wouldn’t change a single thing, because I would not have done better. It is about time to say goodbye. One day I will return the favor. I don’t know how or who to, but watch me. I will definitely do it. I will treasure you forever, and once again, THANK YOU.

Sincerely, Starcoanonymous

#svtfoe #starco #star butterfly #marco diaz

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erraticprojectjunkie · 6 years

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The Gilmore Project: "Pilot"

The Project: The Gilmore Project is an experiment in composition form. As a huge fan of the show Gilmore Girls, I have watched and rewatched the episodes several times over. During my last full viewing in early 2018, I noticed myself watching the show differently than I had in the past and realized that there was a lot of personal reflection being stimulated by the events of the show as well as the music and cultural references. As a result, I decided to start a journey in blog form...exploring each episode and how it resonated with me personally. Disclaimer: If you have not watched Gilmore Girls but plan to, you'll want to watch each episode before reading these posts. There will 100% of the time be spoilers. I'd be doing this wrong if there weren't. That's the nature of the beast. The Episode: Lorelai: Please, Luke. Please, please, please.Luke: How many cups have you had this morning?Lorelai: None.Luke: Plus?Lorelai: Five. But yours is better.Luke: You have a problem.Lorelai: Yes I do. "Pilot" is the first episode of Gilmore Girls to air. It is the start of the entire Gilmore universe. It originally aired on the CW network in October of 2000. This episode introduces viewers to Lorelai Gilmore and her 15-year-old daughter, Rory (short for Lorelai...yes...her mother named her after herself). It sets the scene for the series, laying out the basics of character relationships. Lorelai and Rory discover that Rory has been accepted to the prestigious private school, Chilton. Lorelai runs into an issue with the ability to pay for tuition and ends up having to approach her wealthy parents (from whom she is somewhat estranged) for financial help. This results in an agreement for Friday night dinners with Richard and Emily Gilmore, Lorelai's parents, in exchange for their funding of Rory's tuition. The Lorelai Angle: I think this is where the project really began...with Lorelai. When the series first premiered, I was in my early 20's. I was in dental school and then, in the later seasons, just beginning to make my way in the "real world". Because of this, I often identified more with Rory than Lorelai, but really never found myself being solidly capable of feeling as if I truly belonged fully in either camp. That's still a bit true, as I can reflect back on things in my life that Rory's situation reminds me of, but now that I'm a bit (ahem) older, I find myself more fully thinking of myself as "a Lorelai" rather than "a Rory". The primary issue for Lorelai in this episode is one of money. Ah...isn't that just the continuing fun of being an adult? There are always "fun" financial surprises around every corner. As I watched the episode for today's post, we are dealing with the fun of unexpectedly replacing tires on our primary vehicle. There goes money straight out of savings. It seems that there are always things that crop up no matter how good you think they will finally get going. As Gary messaged me this afternoon, "we seem to be having our share of crap...I hope we get constipated soon." At least he has a way of making me laugh about it, but it's always something, isn't it? Paralleling closer to Lorelai's predicament, there was a time when I had to approach my own parents in need of financial help. At the time, I was not a child, but a fully capable adult (much like Lorelai). I owned my own house and I was holding down a job, but there just wasn't enough there to keep everything afloat. I was self-employed, which really was the crux of the problem. Running a business isn't always all it's cracked up to be. Yes, the scheduling freedom is nice and it's always good to control your own benefits, but it really blows when you have to sacrifice your own financial comfort in order to try and make things work. The 2008/2009 financial slump hit me and my business particularly hard. I've typically been pretty good with money and I was able to utilize my savings and restructure things a few times in order to scrimp and save where I needed to in order to keep things going. But sometimes there's only so much you can do. Ultimately, I found myself up against a wall, afraid that I would lose everything. Now...hindsight is 20/20 and I probably should have responded to this situation a bit differently than I did a the time, but I felt that I just had to keep making it all work. I needed help. In Lorelai's case, she really didn't want to approach her parents because they had a sticky history and an uncomfortable, somewhat obligatory, relationship. The assistance from her parents came with strings attached and, several times down the line, she was left feeling incompetent because she had deigned to approach them with the situation at all. This couldn't be farther from the truth for me. Luckily, I have a very good relationship with my parents. I'm able to talk to them about my life and I have nothing but respect for the way they've brought me up. Yes, we've had our moments, but overall I've always felt that they have been there to support and guide me. However, this good relationship did nothing to ease my apprehension about talking to them about my need for help. In fact, it may have made it worse, as I felt very strongly that I had failed. Like Lorelai, I tend to be a bit rooted in a need to provide for myself. I don't like handouts and I don't like feeling like I can't do something on my own. It was extremely difficult to swallow my pride. The Rory Angle: There are many ways in which Rory is me during my teenage years. I was studious and fairly shy (I'm still very much an introvert) and I didn't really have strong connections to a lot of people I went to school with. In fact, I think I'm probably just about as close to my high school classmates now (via the wonders of Facebook) as I was when I was sixteen. I suppose that could be read two different ways, but trust me when I tell you that this means that there are few relationships there that wouldn't merely land somewhere in the spectrum between acquaintance and friend. Don't get me wrong, they're not bad people...I'm just not much of a people person. In this episode, Rory is shown in English class and the teacher gives them the option to complete their reading of the assigned Adventures of Huckleberry Finn or to work on the follow up essay. Rory is shown writing diligently while her female classmates are testing out nail polish and venturing guesses as to what she is working on. Girl 1: Could be a love letter.Girl 2: Or her diary.Girl 3: Or a slam book.Girl 4: It's the assignment. Yep. that was me. Rory has already finished the reading and is focused on her schoolwork rather than social circles. This tendency to be more studious than social is hinted at a few other times during the episode, particularly when she is shown in conversation with her best friend, Lane. In my particular case, I was very much a studious teenager. Schoolwork was a priority and anything outside of that...well...often made me pretty uncomfortable (see the earlier mention of introvert). I really didn't have a best friend like Rory has in Lane due to a falling out with my long time best friend early in sophomore year, but I had a few closer friends that I did enjoy spending time with. Though I still keep in contact with a couple of them and I have developed good relationships with a few additional friends along the way, none has the lasting closeness that we see throughout the series between Rory and Lane. I'm a bit envious of that. This episode also introduces us to the character of Dean Forester. Rory meets him for the first time in the hallway of the high school as she is packing up her locker in preparation for the transfer to Chilton. It becomes pretty clear that she is interested in him as she (though earlier very excited about changing schools) tells Lorelai, "I'm not sure I want to go to Chilton. The timing's really bad." Ah...the old changing things for a boy. While I certainly changed things about myself and the trajectory of my life several times along the way because of a boy...or a man...the big thing that hit me about this particular interaction was Lorelai's response to Rory's balking. During the subsequent argument between the two Gilmore girls, Lorelai hypothesizes that the boy has "dark hair, romantic eyes, looks a little dangerous?...Tattoos are good too," and then hollers, "Does he have a motorcycle? Because if you're going to throw your life away, he better have a motorcycle!" Ah...now that reminds me of sixteen. You see, at sixteen, I was all the things previously mentioned. I was responsible and studious. I held a 4.0 GPA and a job. But during the summer I was sixteen, there was also a boy. A boy with dark hair and tattoos. He didn't have a motorcycle, but I think the fact that he was twenty-two and a Marine probably made up for that. (Besides, I'm sure at some point later in life he likely bought one. He's the type.) It was a summer fling that never went anywhere beyond a month or two, but how my dad didn't completely flip over the situation is beyond me. Props to him for that because that required a lot of trust in my ability to not be a complete idiot. That boy/man disappeared from my life as quickly as he entered it and though it's been a somewhat funny anecdote to my fairly lackluster dating history, I hadn't heard from him or seen anything of him in over twenty years. Funnily enough though, I actually discovered earlier this year via a post in my newsfeed (oh Facebook and your weird and sometimes wonderful randomness) that said boy/man is actually now in a long-term relationship with a friend of a high school friend. The world is sometimes very small. Other Musings: When I went through the episode in preparation for this post, I took notes. When I finished, I didn't think I had much. In the end, I wound up cutting about half of the information I had jotted down. This included a few snippets here and there that didn't lead to anything big and some simple things like acknowledging that hearing "There She Goes" by the La's in the intro did nothing but remind me of the Boo Radleys version from So I Married an Axe Murderer. I figure this is how a lot of these pieces will likely go. I won't be spewing out every thought I have, but rather focusing on a few things that presented a larger picture. Sometimes it will be serious, other times it will be silly or just plain stupid. Like I mentioned in the first bit of this post, The Gilmore Project is an experiment. It's an adventure. I'm feeling it out as I go. So...please, feel free to provide me feedback where you see fit. What would you like to see more of/less of? Any things you'd like me to address that I don't even allude to? Crowdsourced creativity can sometimes be a very helpful thing. This post originally appeared on Erratic Project Junkie and is copyrighted by Elle. Find EPJ on Facebook | Twitter | Pinterest | Goodreads

#The Gilmore Project

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lighdramons · 7 years

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I’m slapping a read more on this because I started going on a tangent. Just me talking about my favorite prof in college. tl;dr version: I love this prof because he let me essentially be myself and write about things that made me happy and was one of the first adults to ever tell me how I have so much potential and that I’m gonna go far. Also, his subject matter just always got me thinking about things in a new way and I loved it!

Let me talk about my favorite professor in college. So freshman year because I was an “honors” student, I didn’t get to pick my electives besides gym and well, engineers only get to pick two electives anyways, gym and a humanity or social science. I was dreading those two things because I had to take 4 classes in each and I really had no interest in those. I wanted to take science classes as electives. Anyways, I get my elective and it was intro to philosophy at 8am. And I was like philosophy? really? this is gonna be so fucking pointless. I was so wrong. I loved it. Honestly, my philosophy classes I took were my favorites of college.

The professor maybe the 2nd or 3rd week of class just goes, “ Rachel, you look like the type who goes around strangling kittens and then drowning any remaining ones in the river.” This has been my favorite thing that somebody has ever said to me. I still don’t know quite what it means in terms of what he thinks of me, but I loved it. I was the only one who actively engaged in the class and he had no problem with me doodling in class while answering his questions, well, more like talking because it was more like a class long conversation.

It was the first time I got to talk about god in a setting that wasn’t catholic school. I got to form my own opinions on things while we talked stuff out. We talked about abortion without going on about how horrible it is. We talked about personal beliefs. I felt open to talk about whatever. The first paper was a two part paper about the existence of god and abortion and like how to prove god is real/not real and how to prove that abortion was good/evil. It was amazing because I could write about what I was taught in school and then look up and learn new reasons against things.

He stopped me after class and told me that he teaches aesthetics, logic, and philosophy of sex and love and told me I should take them all. So I took aesthetics my sophomore year. And honestly, this specifically is my favorite class ever. We watched movies, looked at art, and listened to music. Based on how we analyzed things, I still find myself doing it with various forms of art still. Especially with movies.

My favorite thing ever with aesthetics was we had to write a 25 page paper for it; on any movie of our choice. I was between Alien and Labyrinth, but decided due to symbolism and just my extensive knowledge to do Alien. He told us he had to approve whatever film we chose and we might have to explain why. So that class where he assigned it, I went up to him and said I’m doing Alien. And he goes, you don’t even have to explain your reasoning for picking it; you couldn’t have picked a better movie to do the paper on.

I look back at 6th grade me who did a paper on the movie Alien and had their teacher ridicule them for picking such a ridiculous topic for a paper and I’m just glad I never viewed Alien as a ridiculous thing. And I’m finally going to do it justice. So of course, I watched the movie another hundred times, took extensive notes, and rewatched all the behind the scenes stuff for the hundredth time. And then I waited to write the paper till the night before because I’m Rachel. And I finished at like 3am, called it ‘In Space, No One Can Hear You Bone’, because I didn’t want to put fuck in the title, but I mean, my paper was looking at the sexuality and sexual imagery of the film. And it’s the paper I’m most proud of writing.

I promised my prof I’d take sex and love the following spring when it was offered and I got so much out of this class. I learned so much about myself within this class and it also was the class that made me realize that I was sexually assaulted (or possibly raped) back in high school. And it was all because of learning how the definition of sex can vary based on situations (like sex of the people involved, and I say sex because I do mean the genitalia that is involved). It also made me much more aware of how guys treated me and how I wasn’t going to deal with it anymore. I became much more comfortable with sex in general, as well as more accepting of my own kinks because they are natural, and I think it was the class that really made me realize that I really don’t need to wait till marriage to do the do, as long as I’m doing it when I’m comfortable and with someone I wanna do it with. I still view it as something that I wanna do with someone who means a lot to me though, not with any random person. I made the promise at the end of the class to my prof that I still had logic to take.

Logic was interesting because it is another language, but its a lot like coding so it came naturally. It’s supposed to be one of the hardest classes ever and a lot of people don’t pass. I aced it and I’m proud that I did. And after this class, he stopped me one day to tell me how much potential I have and how I’m going to go places and like, I almost cried because no adult had ever told me this. He sees something in me that people normally don’t see I guess. And I’m really happy I got to have him for a class each semester during my 4 years of college.

Since I’m back, I’m thinking about asking him if he wants to get lunch sometime or just go talk to him at his office. We’re facebook friends as well which is pretty funny as well!

#ray's rants

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thenovelescapes · 7 years

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june 2017

- the television -

My first order of business in June was to finish Schitt’s Creek season three. This show has been a surprising gem. Catherine O’Hara as Moira Rose is hysterical, and the David/Stevie relationship is so interesting and generous and compassionate. I love watching the Roses embrace their life in Schitt’s Creek and find ways to engage and become apart of the community.

This month, I also watched seasons ten and eleven of Grey’s Anatomy. Season 11 was really hard to get through, knowing what was coming towards the end (I’m still mad at Patrick Dempsey). I never skip episodes when I’m doing a rewatch, but I just could not bring myself to watch that death again. I think my Grey’s viewing is going to end with these two seasons - seasons 12 and 13 aired too recently and I honestly do not care enough to continue - but it was a good, albeit frustrating, ride. After Grey’s, my sister and I dived straight into a Veronica Mars rewatch. I haven’t revisited the show since the movie came out in 2014, but Veronica remains one of my favourite female characters of all time. We blasted through eleven episodes in a day, and I was reminded how much I love the relationships on this show - Veronica and Keith, Veronica and Wallace, Veronica and Logan… basically Veronica and anyone.

Orange is the New Black released their fifth season at the beginning of the month. All 13 episodes take place over a span of three days and deal almost exclusively with the aftermath of Poussey’s death and the ensuing riot. There are some satisfying moments and Danielle Brooks knocked every Taystee scene out of the park, but overall, I thought the season was unfocused and kind of disappointing.

Since finishing Mad Men, my parents and I have been stalled in our joint television watching, but this hasn’t been for a lack of trying! My parents are notoriously picky, and yet ambivalent, media consumers and they have rejected every suggestion I’ve made since April. They said no to The West Wing, they had no interest in Lost, and they didn’t like Veep. VEEP. How can anyone not love that show? But, finally, we have settled on How to Get Away With Murder. Apparently, the secret to getting my dad to watch a show is that it involves bourbon and/or murder.

Finally, a new Netflix original series was released this month - GLOW. The series stars Alison Brie and Betty Gilpin, and focuses on a group of women who, under the (mostly useless) direction of Marc Maron, learn to become Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling. Wrestling is not at all in my wheelhouse, so I wasn’t expecting to enjoy the show as much as I did. Brie and Gilpin are wonderful, and the wrestling/training sequences are so entertaining. I watched all ten episodes in a day. (Oops?)

- the books -

I read some damn good books this month.

First, I read Ramona Blue by Julie Murphy. This YA novel is such a fresh, frank exploration of sexuality, poverty, teenage romance, family and friendship. Bellweather Rhapsody by Kate Racculia is so good I very nearly threw it across the room (more than once). The plot is intricate and well thought-out / executed and the prose is absolutely gorgeous - the descriptions of the orchestra music made me cry. In addition to the beautiful writing and fascinating, well-rounded characters, there is an A+ mystery. I loved it so much and you should read it.

Generally, I think poetry isn’t for me. Even in university, I could never quite wrap my head around the poems we discussed in my literature classes, but Milk & Honey by Rupi Kaur is beautiful. I began it last month and doled it out sparingly, just so I could savour it even longer.

Roxane Gay’s much-anticipated memoir, Hunger: A Memoir of (My) Body was published early this month. I read it in a day. Gay is so honest about her past and the realities of being a human in this world when you don’t look the way society expects/demands of you. It is hard and sad and rage-inducing to read about the cruelty that she has had to endure in her lifetime, but it is also extremely moving.

This month, I also read Startup by Doree Shafrir and listened to two audiobooks - Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows by JK Rowling, narrated by Stephen Fry and Exit West by Mohsin Hamid, narrated by the author.

- the movies -

Wonder Woman! I’ve never been a huge fan of the big smashy-smashy superhero movies, but it was undeniably powerful to see a female superhero saving the day on the big screen. The film dragged in places, and I didn’t particularly enjoy the final fight scene, but Gal Gadot was mesmerizing as Diana and I’m very glad I saw it in theatres.

I also took advantage of Netflix’s movie library this month and watched Mona Lisa Smile, Under the Tuscan Sun and A Sunday Horse. The first two were re-watches, and just as delightful as ever, but the third was chosen out of desperation at 1am when I was having SO MUCH FUN with anxiety induced insomnia. It was extremely cheesy and, disappointingly, the two main characters (Nikki Reed & Ryan Merriman) never made out - but I love myself an inspirational horse story.

Finally, if you need a good laugh, I highly, highly recommend Oh Hello! On Broadway. John Mulaney & Nick Kroll play two elderly men - Gil Faizon and George St. Geegland - who have lived together on the Upper West Side of Manhattan for 40+ years. It is incredibly funny.

- the miscellaneous -

When something is popular, I either jump on board right away or I wait years before giving it a shot - there is no in-between. So, this month, I finally started listening to My Favourite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark. I’m catching up - slowly but surely - and I have some mixed feelings about it, but listening to horrifying tales of murder while I’m at work is strangely soothing. Like, no matter how terrible the day is going, at least my arms aren’t being hacked off with a machete? Perspective.

Lorde released her sophomore album Melodrama mid-month, and it is perfect. The angsty teenager that lives inside my heart is so emotional and happy about it. This album (particularly ‘Liability’ and ‘Hard Feelings/Loveless’) is meant to be listened to while driving home on a summer night as the sun sets with the windows down.

I hope you’ve had a great start to summer ‘17! As always, happy reading, watching and listening!

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gleefail · 4 years

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Glee Memories 1x5: The Rhodes Not Taken

Kicking this off by reposting the first 15 episodes I already went through. Enjoy!

1x5: The Rhodes Not Taken Glee Club Invitational posters go up. A showchoir invitational means other showchoirs are invited to perform but it’s not a competition. …but it’s Glee

“Can we please talk about the giant elephant in the room?” “Your sexuality?” Me: hmmm…I think I like this gal. Thus began my fondness for Ms. Lopez

Okay, Mr. Schue just suggested that Quinn’s solo will work if he layers Mercedes and Santana in with her…um, 1. he knew then they’d sound awesome together, yay, but 2. why not instead just give the solo to Santana or Mercedes?

“That Rachel chick makes me wanna light myself on fire” – Puck just foreshadowed my future

Mr. Schue just said he’d give Tina some of Quinn’s verses in the solo to ease up her stress cause Finn’s worried about the baby. Seriously, what universe is this where he’s immediately thinking of giving Santana, Mercedes, and Tina solos?!

Emma is telling Finn that he shouldn’t attempt an athletic scholarship because very few kids get them…but he still goes for one and is heartbroken about it 2 years later. #BlessFinnsHeart #oops

It still makes me snicker that Jacob asks Rachel to show him her bra…and that it makes me remember I saw Lea Michele in Spring Awakening where she got a lil naked. And I get uncomfortable.

Haaaa – Will goes on April’s website and there’s basically porno music playing. Awesome.

APRIL RHODES!!! Oh, Kristen Chenoweth, you are soooo fake tanned!

It’s bout 10 seconds in and I already adore April Rhodes all over again.

“Then Ralph had an affair with Vinnie, I had a set of mixed race twins…”

”You guys look like the world’s worst Beneton ad”

I said it when I first saw it and I’ll say it again: Lea Michele has a beautiful voice, but Kristin Chenoweth is a damn professional who knows how to use her instrument. The style she can put into Maybe This Time, His Name, and Alone, making them each unique to their genre and still giving an exceptional rendition of it speaks to the genius of the Cheno…whereas Lea Michele will do a high pop belt interpretation of her songs 98% of the time.

”April should stay. I adore her.”

So far, with the exception of the Technicolor zebra ensemble, Mercedes is dressing pretty normal. Actually, she looks pretty fashionable and hot about 60% of the time. Not an animal print in sight. When did that change? WHY did that change? Amber Riley looks so good so far!

”I once got a cake out of a kid’s birthday party – with the candles still lit!”

”You’re a really good actor, Finn” – oh, if only you knew his ‘dream’ then, Rachel

”Talent doesn’t age, sweetheart” *wink* Oh Cheno, I love you.

“Me me me me me me” “You you you you you you you” Yeah. Still not funny. Cheap joke that I’ve heard a million times since elementary school choir vocal warmups.

“Oh, Bambi. I cried so hard when those hunters shot your mommy.”

”I’m pretty sure it’s not a fake ID because he looks like an eleven-year old milkmaid”

”I think it was April. Her backpack’s always clinkin’ with empties”

“We have obligations as teachers, Will, to give kids opportunities for growth and enrichment” – I needed her to tattoo that on Will’s forehead so he was reminded everyday. Cause he forgot that for about 80% of the kids in the club. Everyday.

Seriously, Lea Michele is real good at the crying scenes. Like, impressively good. Makes your heart break a little cause she ugly cries.

“Um, do you have any NyQuil? I could use a little pick-me-up.”

”That Finn Hudson is one cutie pie I gots mah eye on”

Seriously, April Rhodes was top bitch of Glee when Glee ran the school like the Cheerios and athletes do in current Glee. She was like, Crey-Crey Rachel Berry and Top Bitch In Charge Quinn rolled into one. Do NOT fuck with her, Rachel.

“Sober? I’m rollin’ on a fistful of horse tranquilizers. I can’t feel mah lips.”

”I mean, that’s how you get better, y’know? Singing with people who are better than you.” – I totally forgot that there was a time that Glee said things I thought were really smart and wholeheartedly agreed with (especially if you replace ‘singing’ with ‘performing’ or ‘working with’ in that statement, then it’s even more accurate)

I have never been able to listen to Alone the same way again. These two do it so insanely well.

Rachel’s eating pizza at the bowling alley. Pepperoni pizza. Too bad she’s not only vegetarian, but a vegan. #oops

Rachel kisses her bowling ball before taking her turn. EW. Emma is somewhere having seizures from all the germs.

For the second time, Rachel and Finn kiss while he’s still with Quinn. Only this time, he now knows Quinn’s pregnant with what he thinks is his child. How was he NEVER called out for this cheating?

“This is a hot damn mess.”

Wait…in the pilot, Finn said he’d been dating Quinn for about 4 months…why is anyone (let alone everyone) shocked to hear Finn’s the babydaddy? #oops

Finn dropped off an application for a music scholarship for college…as a sophomore#oops

“I hope you have fun playing house with Quinn while you languish in your little ensemble but MY dreams are bigger than that…and they’re bigger than YOU” oh Rachel…you will eat those words in about two and a half years#oops

Oh. Hell. No. Mr. Schue just walked in and stopped vocal warm-ups to say the house was packed. Nice music teacher …but it’s Glee

“I’m hoggin’ their sunshine”

”You were right, Mr. Schue: she’d massacre Mariah in a diva-off”

”I realized being a star didn’t make me feel as special as being your friend” Man. I’m remembering why I used to love Rachel. The things they did to her character…Season One Rachel, I’m so used to S2 and S3 Rachel, I barely recognize you.

Somebody to Love really pinpoints that New Directions was better then. I mean, talent-wise in terms of dancing. They only had Finn who was a bad dancer and Puck soooometimes looked a lil akward, but everyone else danced real well. Now they have no Matt, and added Sam (who I love but can sometimes look real uncoordinated), Rory and Joe who are both bad movers per Glee Project. Oy vey.

SOLOS: Rachel (2), April (3), Will (1), Finn (1) MERCEDES TAKING THE GLORY NOTE: First time (1)

#Glee Memories #Glee #lol Glee #Glee The Rhodes Not Taken

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