#i just fucking disappeared and i hate that i hate it god i'm so sad

[suiana]

your boyfriend has been acting weird lately (various yandere characters x gn reader) (ANGSTOBER DAY 2)

"babe are you-"

"can you quit talking? seriously, you're so damn annoying."

"...i only wanted to ask whether you were hungry..."

you stare at your boyfriend, lips pursed as he continues to type away on his phone. he's been like this for three weeks now. getting mad at you for no reason, cursing at you... did you do something wrong?

all you ever wanted was to be a good significant other and he's acting like he's on his period or something! jesus, can't he be a little bit more mature too?! picking fights with you for no reason, making a big fuss over nothing... and not even telling you why?!

...

you know what?

you had it with him.

"hey, what's your problem huh?! why are you so edgy nowadays huh? did i do something wrong?!"

your once loving boyfriend stares at you, eyes and mouth wide at your sudden outburst. he takes a moment to compose himself, eyebrows furrowing the second he thinks things through.

"god you're so damn stupid. I've been repeatedly telling you, haven't i? i hate you. what can't you understand?! this is why I'm always getting mad, damnit!"

you scoff at him, arms folded in front of your chest as you try to keep your cool... only for your anger to get the better of you, resulting in a screaming festival between you and your boyfriend.

"hate me? you can't expect me to believe that. not when you were literally obsessed with me up till three weeks ago?!"

"i-"

"you used to threaten people just for looking at me! you even tried to kill someone because they asked for my number! and now you want me to believe that you hate me? stop with your bullshit."

".. actually-"

"oh. are you seeing someone else? is that what this is? you're trying to make me break up with you, is that it?"

"n-... you know what? yeah, yeah it is. i want to break up with you. I've found someone else that i love more than you."

your boyfriend states, eyes dead as he stares straight at you. he breathes calmly, as if he weren't affected by this at all. meanwhile, your heart felt as though it had shattered into many tiny pieces. tears fell from your eyes, unable to be held back any longer as you broke down, falling to your knees as the male just stares at you stoicly.

"let's never see each other again."

he mumbles, turning on his heel, swiftly leaving you alone to wallow in your sadness in the once lively apartment. shit... you hadn't expected things to end like this.

"he's a fucking jerk..."

you think through your tears, vision blurry as you clutch your chest. you really loved him and he just?? left?? how could he be so heartless?

if he didn't love you he could've just said something about it. he didn't have to be so mean and hurt your feelings before finally bringing up another person! god damnit, why did you have to fall for such a person?!

you cried, wailing as you cursed your now ex-boyfriend.

"fuck! i hate you! i hate you so much! i hope i never see you again! just disappear from my life! you just left me to die here! stupid ex-boyfriend! i hate giving you my love!"

what you didn't know however, was that your 'heartless' boyfriend had stood outside your door, frowning at your every word, regretting everything he had done up until that moment. because he had loved you too. truly.

he loved you so damn much that he wanted to tear out his hair every single time he was mean to you. he wanted to tell you that he didn't mean any single one of those hurtful words. he wanted to cry and beg for your forgiveness every single time he did anything hurtful to you.

but it was for your own good. it was to keep you safe. and if he needed to hurt you to keep you safe, he'd do it. because he loved you too much to see someone else hurt you.

and being with him meant that there was always a risk of you getting hurt. so how could he allow that to happen when it could be prevented? how could he let his selfish feelings get in the way when you were such a precious little thing? sure, he loves you and he'll do anything in his power to ensure your safety but what if he can't protect you one day?

what if one day you just... get used against him? he's a dangerous man and has a lot of enemies. surely they'll find out that you're his weakness. of course he has gotten rid of anyone who might harm you now but who's to say that there won't be more in the future?

which is why he has to severe all ties with you now. he can't risk it. because he may be strong, but he may not be strong enough for whoever may come in the future. that's why he's been doing what he's been doing-making you hate him so that it hurts less when he decides that it's time to leave. he assumes that it's working wonderfully, after all you've never once noticed his puffy eyes in the morning.

"at least... they'll be safe now."

and disappear he will, for he has too many regrets welling up in the depths of his soul from what he did to you. he'll make sure to never come across you again, instead lurking in your shadow, observing you from afar.

a star like you need not be dirtied by his presence anymore.

dazai osamu, akutagawa ryunosuke, megumi fushiguro, blade, scaramouche/wanderer, your faves<3

#yandere #tw yandere #yandere x reader #yandere angst #yandere drabbles #yandere imagines #yandere scenarios #yandere bsd #yandere bungou stray dogs #yandere jjk #yandere jujutsu kaisen #yandere hsr #yandere honkai star rail #yandere genshin #yandere genshin impact #suiana rambling #suiana brainrotting #suiana's angstober 2023

[mj0702]

So my dearest Frens... even if it’s my day today I gift you with Part 6... I hope you enjoy it and have a good night... day... whatever timezone you live in ♥️

The other Bronze – Pt.6

You woke up with pain in your wrist. You felt every pulse shooting right up into your wrist. You groaned and grabbed your phone seeing it was just after 3AM. You groaned again but pushed yourself up and stood up going on a painkiller hunt. You entered the dark kitchen and started searching for the pain meds knowing Lucy normally leaving them in one of the cupboards. You were just rummaging through the third cupboard as suddenly the light got turned on and you swirled around feeling like a kid with it's hand in the cookie jar.

“Jesus fuck“ you exclaimed shocked being confronted by a scared looking Ona

“What are you doing?” the blonde asked evenly as shocked holding up a fly swat like it was a baseball bat

“I'm looking for drugs” you gritted through your teeth

“What?” Ona asked confused

“My wrist hurts like a bitch... I need painkillers” you huffed out before noticing the fly swat “What's up with that?”

“Oh” the blonde quickly lowered her weapon “I thought we were being... robado”

“You what?” you looked at her completely lost

“You know... when strangers come and take your stuff” she shrugged her shoulders

“Robbed... you thought you were being robbed and then you thought it would be a grand idea to defend yourself – and my sister – with a fly swat... great choice” you snorted unimpressed

“It was the first thing I could grab” the spaniard shrugged

“Just a small tip... if you have robbers in your house... call the police and do NOT engage with them.. they probably kill you” you said before turning around searching again

“They're in the bathroom... our bathroom” Ona clarified as she saw you looking around again

“You have an own bathroom?” you turned around again looking at her confused

“We do... wait I get them for you” she smiled before disappearing

“Own bathroom... who does she think she is.. Taylor Swift or what?” you mumbled to yourself plopping down on a chair at the kitchen table

“Here you are Bebita” Ona said as she put a half a tablet in front of you getting you a glass of water from the sink

“Lucy gave me two... you are pretty tight with my drugs” you grumbled seeing that half a pill

“Lucy overdosed you and you were high half of the day” Ona countered smirking

“SHE WHAT???!!!” you screeched

“What do you remember from yesterday?” the blonde asked carefully

“Your friends were over, Luce gave me pills, I slept” you shrugged your shoulders

“Ehrm... yeah... do you remember being in the gym with Alexia?” Ona hummed

“Huh?” you looked at here like SHE lost it this time

“Okay... believe me – a half a pill is more than enough... the rest Lucy can explain... Are you hungry Bebita? You haven't had a lot in the last couple of hours... I can... batter something up” the blonde spaniard offered

You just stared blankly at her.

“Yes... no?” Ona looked at you expectantly

“Yes... please” you said carefully

“What's wrong?” the blonde asked

“Why are you so nice to me?” you asked unsure

“Why wouldn't I be?” she questioned back

“I dunno...” you shrugged “... but I feel like you shouldn't be”

“Why do you feel that way?” the blonde looked confused

“God... now you sound like my therapist” you rolled your eyes but a smile was tucking on the edge of your lips

“So... why do you feel I shouldn't be nice to you?” Ona tried again

“I... I.. I blamed you, you know... and I came here with the thought of hating you... and you're nice to me...” you mumbled looking away

Ona just looked at you before it dawned on her

“You thought Lucy didn't come to your birthday because of me... because she prioritized me over you” Ona concluded slowly

“I'm sorry... I really am...” you nodded as you looked up at her with sad eyes

“You have nothing to be sorry about, y/n... I understand it... and I know Lucy wants to talk to you about it, but you know her – she's snoring her life away” Ona smiled at the end

“How did you know?” you mumbled surprised

“You talked a lot yesterday...” the blonde smirked as your eyes widen

“What did I talk about?” you ask panicking

“You called Aitana flawless... Alexia pretty... Mapí a colorbook and you spilled that you're dating one Georgia Stanway” Ona smirked

“Shit” you're eyes widen even more and all colour leaves your face “shit shit shit shit shit”

“Calm down... she will talk to you about it but she's not mad... not really – more hurt that you didn't tell her” the blonde said calmly

“She's going to kill G... and then me... or first me and then her” you just kept panicking not listening to Ona

“Y/n... she won't, okay... there's more you two need to talk about... but Lucy is NOT mad” the spaniard grabbed your hand running her thumb over the back of it

“Don't let her kill me...” you whined “... Keira... I need to talk to Keira first... and then Keira can talk to Lucy and Lucy will talk first to you and I can flee the country”

“Okay... enough... nothing bad is going to happen – now here's how the next minutes will go... you tell me what you want to eat, then you take your painkiller and then you'll go back to bed... in the morning you and Lucy will sit down and talk to each other – REALLY talk...” Ona put her foot down hoping you wouldn't hold it against her

“Okay... okay..” you took a deep breath before looking at your sisters girlfriend hopefully “I know you guys are pro athletes and live on a diet... but do you have ANYTHING sugary? Cookies? Sweets? Anything?”

“Don't tell your sister” Ona pointed at you threating but smiling before standing up and got some chocolate chip cookies from a cupboard.

“Oh god” you moaned happily as you bit half a cookie off “definitely not telling her... because then I need to share”

“Slowly” the blonde warned you as she saw you shoving two more cookies into your mouth

You slowed down but ended five more cookies before Ona took the package away. You looked at her hurtful but she just shot you a “Don't push it”-glare. She's getting really good with reading you, you must admit. Not Keira good, but... good.

“Come on Bebita... take your pill and back to bed... it's nearly 4AM” Ona smiled softly at you watching you as you took your painkiller without further protest

“Can I sleep in your bed?” you ask pouting

“Your sister snores” the blonde reminded you

“I know” you rolled your eyes “I grew up with her”

“Come on then” Ona nodded towards the bedroom “I'll take the guestroom”

“You.... with us?” you asked getting a little light headed again

“I don't think that's a good idea Bebita... your sister gets quite... handsy early mornings” Ona tried to bring her point across

“Morning sex?” you ask pulling a face your brain a bit foggy

“Sometimes... but that's not the point... how do you feel Bebita?” the blonde checked on you having a slight hunch

“Bit funny” you mumbled “sleepy”

“Come on then... I'll get you to bed” Ona sighed as she stood up signalling you to follow her

You followed suit standing up slowly following the blonde spaniard as said woman turned off the light in the kitchen while you grabbed the back of her shirt so you have a little guidance to not run into anything.

“Off you go to your sister... lay on right side so you don't hurt your wrist further – you might need to push Lucy over a little bit... she likes to sleep in the middle” Ona smiled encouraging as she stopped in front of their bedroom door.

“Oh don't I know it” you mumble as you let go of Onas shirt and stepped forward – to just run straight into the door.

Your face connected loudly with the wooden door. You needed a few seconds to realize what happened before your hand flew to your nose as you started to swear loudly which caused Lucy to finally wake up and open the bedroom door.

“What the Fuck, y/n? Do you know what time it is?” she whisper yelled at you as you try to hold back the tears that threatened to leave your eyes “If you wake Ona up with your nonsense, I swear to god”

“I'm already up... your sister needed painkillers and since you don't hear anything once you're out, I took care of it” Ona said rolling her eyes as she grabbed you by your shoulders and pushed you inside the bedroom to sit you down on the edge of the bed.

“Let me look Bebita” she said softly as she pried your hand off your face.

“I bet it's broken... just my fucking luck” you whined

“Let me look first” the blonde spaniard chuckled as she inspected your nose “No... not broken” she smiled at you

“What is going on here???” Lucy asked behind you both looking so SO confused

“I woke up and my wrist was killing me... so I investigated the kitchen for painkillers since THAT'S where painkillers belong... turns out your girlfriend hasn't got the deepest sleep and tried to kill me with a fly swat thinking I'm a robber... then she gave me some toast and my painkillers and I asked if I could sleep at yours... she said yes and led me over here and told me to go on... which I did...” you explained everything lying about the cookies

“... and you decided to run straight into the door?” Lucy asked you perplex

“How should I have known the door was closed? Who closes their bedroom door??” you said upset

“Me when my little sister is around” your sister countered and you could see the small smirk as your eyes grew wide and you started to dry heave

“Lucy” Ona swatted your sisters shoulder hard “Don't worry Bebita... she's just messing with you”

“I wouldn't put it past her” you mumbled and shivered

“Payback” your sister growled playfully

“Look... I was.... non compos mentis... I don't remember anything so you can't hold anything against me” you started to defend yourself knowing what your sister was referring to.

“Okay... both of you... either you go back to bed OR you go back into the kitchen and talk it out – I won't have you beat around the bush at 4AM when I could be sleeping” Ona interfered strictly shooting you both a warning glare

“I'm half drugged I don't care” you shrugged your shoulders

“Bed it is then” the blonde spaniard said and both of you knew there's no room for discussion

It took a little bit of shuffling before Lucy and you got comfortable in bed as Ona leaves as promised to sleep in the guest bedroom

You woke up hours later to an empty bed the sun already standing high in the sky as you rolled over and out of bed. You padded barefoot into the kitchen to find your sister sitting at the table books and papers spread out in front of her.

“Hey” you said tiredly scratching your head

“Hey Bubs” she looked up at you smiling “Good sleep?”

“Mhm” you hummed as you fell down on a chair beside her

“How are you feeling Bubs?” she asked and you could tell she genuinely cares

“Tired... kinda burned out... like my body wants to shut down but somehow it keeps going... my brain is not function and still runs a million miles an hour” you answer honestly and for the first time you were completely honest with your sister

“What happened at home... I know my birthday was just an excuse to flee mom and dad... probably more mom” Lucy leaned back in her chair to look at you

“I just.... I felt so alone Luce... you and Keira were gone... Jorge and Sophie have their own families... yeah, the girls are great... you know Tooney and Mearps are always there but they're not you... or Keira” you said and shrugged your shoulders looking down

“I'm sorry Bubs... I really am... I actually thought you knew that you can always call me... or text me... or send a pigeon” your sister leaned forward again taking your hand in hers “I may not be in the same country but I'm always there for you Bubs”

“What could you have done when I got expelled from school?” you asked getting upset that Lucy didn't get you

“You what?” Lucy looked at you confused

“I got expelled because I snapped at some girls who said stupid stuff” you said guilty starting to chew on your lip

“Tell me about it” your sister said after a moment of silence “I really want to know what made YOU snap”

“They were talking shit about you and some other players... you know... sexual shit... I mean I can ignore most stuff... I'm used to people drool and swoon over you but this... went to far” you explained getting kind of embarrassed

“Oh Bubs” your sister sighed out “I know it's hard to be my little sister – and I don't speak about the distance or the late night games or always being the baby of every team I join... but you can't snap at people.. not because of me or my name or my career but because of you... you are such an good loving caring person – I don't want people to think otherwise because the witness one incident”

“Do you know how it feels when people rate you top or bottom compared to other players? And not once but for WEEKS... and then proceed to ask questions about certain players and when I didn't answers they wouldn't leave me alone and pester me every fucking chance they got... do you know how it feels if you get asked in the middle of the class if you could top Leah... or Beth... of for god sakes JILL ROORD” you finally broke your silence about what happened and of course your sister was the reason for it. You didn't said anything about the topic to your principal – or your parents. You just took your punishment and the disappointed looks from your parents and just went on. Your Dad decided after some days it probably would do you some good to clear your head somewhere else and shipped you off to Lucy – much to your mothers dismay but she let you go once your dad reasoned with her about Lucys birthday surprise.

“I'm sorry...” your sister started after you took in what you said but you interrupted her immediately “... stop say you're sorry... it doesn't change anything if you're sorry or not” you leashed out at her feeling yourself getting angry “... I need coffee for this...” you said before standing up and going to the guestroom to chance and make ready to go out.

Your sister cleared the table while you went to change into some shorts and a simple white sleeveless compression shirt you obviously stole from Lucys wardrobe. As you re-entered the kitchen there were two cups of coffee on the table your sister sitting in her chair again waiting for you to sit down so you could continue talking

“I'm not drinking your shitty filter coffee...” you said grimacing at the cup

“It's from the good machine okay...” she rolled her eyes while she pointed to the shiny porta filter machine standing on the end of the counter “... you're such a coffee snob”

“Just because you don't have any taste buds left due to your old age” you fired back grinning but carefully took a sip of the cup “....yeah... acceptable” you said after a second

“We still need to talk Bubs...” Lucy redirected your conversation to the earlier topic “... what's going on?”

“Honestly.. I don't know Luce... I just... I get angry so quickly... I get upset even quicker... mom and dad are SO annoying... I don't really know what's going on... the only time I really calm down and can relax is when I'm with G” you try to explain but feel like you fail miserably

“Yeah... we need to talk about that too.. but.. one step at a time... you're a teenager Bubs... of course mom and dad are annoying... about the anger... what makes you angry? Are there specific situations? Like do you get triggered by something?” Lucy said empathic offering you a little smile

“I... don't know.. sometimes it's like someone clicked a switch in my brain and I get so so angry... I punched a hole in a wall in spring Luce... I don't even know why” you said defeated

“You need to get that anger out of you... in a healthy way... I'm going to talk to mom and dad – you're staying with me for the next few month... we're going to work on your anger management... I already have an Idea how... what do you think of boxing?” your sister said putting a hand on your shoulder for support “And I want you to talk to me... about everything...”

“Everything? Really?” you raised an eyebrow “Did you know that you can legally buy sextoys...” you started as Lucy slapped her hand over your mouth

“NOT everything... I'm not interested in that... in my world you're still a virgin and you will die a virgin” Lucy interrupted you quickly having a horrified look on her face

“Really... I'd die a virgin? But you can have girlfriends and sex? In front of me!” you asked baffled

“First... THAT was an accident... I didn't know you were coming...” Lucy started

“Neither did you apparently” you mumbled smirking

“Ugh... stop with the sexual innuendos” your sister rolled your eyes “And yes... you'd die a virgin”

“Yeah... kinda too late for that I'm afraid” you shrugged your shoulders

“I mean... you did spill a lot yesterday but how did THAT happen anyway?” Lucy asked calmly

“Would you believe me if I'd say G slipped and her fingers..” you smirked evil

“Not THAT... the whole getting into a relationship with Georgia” your sister rolled her eyes again

“She didn't want to at first... you know... she said you would kill us both... and that I should be able to have a relationship with someone who can openly declare how much they love me.... and then there's the age gap... which apparently is a big issue for some people... I wouldn't let her run away... It's all on me, so if you want to kill someone you need to kill me” you said quietly hoping Lucy would understand

“I mean... I understand her... you're 16 Bubs... and even if it was all consensual she's older... it's dangerous – for both of you... no one will listen to you if this comes out... but I also understand you – I know you got a good head on your shoulders and I know you know about the consequences and thought carefully about it” Lucy said thoughtfully

“I didn't choose to fall for her Luce... but I did” you said sadly thinking your sister would forbid you to see your girlfriend again

“I know Bubs... love isn't something you choose... Love is something that's just happening – and most of the time it's happening when you least expect it” your sister said softly “You have two options now... you either break up with her or you need to be really REALLY sneaky”

“I love her Luce... I know there's a lot at stake for her but I love her... and she loves me” you said quietly

“Then you need to learn to sneak around” your sister smiled encouraging

“Like you and Ona?” you asked a smile tugging on your lips

“Like me and Ona” your sister confirmed

“You do realize the fans already caught on, yeah... you have a ship name... but don't worry... it's not as bad as Wonze” you grinned

“You loved Wonze” Lucy shakes her head

“I loved the W in Wonze... but the ship name itself... not a fan – it sounds so harsh... like a sumo guy” you said thoughtful “But the new one is better... they call you Luna... Lucy... Ona... Luna... kinda cute”

“Isn't Luna that yappy Dog from Mrs. Kean down the road?” Lucy asked confused

“Was... got run over... chased a squirrel... truck... yeah...” you explained shrugging your shoulders once again

“Uh... I feel sorry for Mrs. Kean... she's a nice lady” your sister scratched her chin

“So... you won't forbid me to see G again?” you asked carefully

“Honestly... I'm not a fan but I couldn't stop you anyway... I will do everything to support you I swear but I also WILL talk to Georgia about it” Lucy said seriously

“Oh Luce cooome oon.. please... no” you whined “you'll scare her away”

“I'm your big sister... it's my job to scare girlfriends off” Lucy smirked widely

“I don't scare your girlfriends off” you huffed

“My girlfriends see you as the cute little helpless Bean... they don't take your threats seriously” your sister continued to smirk “But you could actually call your girlfriend and let me have a talk with her”

“No...” you said shaking your head hard

“Oh yes...” she just grinned at you

“You can't make me...” you pouted

“I can call her too, you know... I have her number” your sister mused

“But I'm not leaving... you can talk to her but I will be right here.. and if I think it gets to much I WILL stop you... and if I have to kick your bad knee” you said quickly

“I will go light on her I promise... for now” Lucy wriggled her eyebrows

You pulled out your phone opening your contacts clicking on Georgias contact waiting for the face time call to connect which didn't take long

“Hey Baby” you heard Georgias soft voice before the call connected fully “Everything okay?”

You saw her before she could see you – and your sister who was perched over your shoulder smirking evilly. But you knew exactly the second the call fully connected as your girlfriend squeaked out a “Shit... the other Bronze” and hung up on you.

You looked at your dark screen perplex while Lucy bursted out laughing behind you

“She knows she just blew your cover without blowing it” Lucy continued to laugh as you just stared at your phone

“She can't be fucking serious???!!!” you bursted out already trying to phone her girlfriend again

“Text her first” Lucy advice you “She thinks she just fucked up – tell her it's okay and to call you back once she re-joins the land of the living... you probably gave her a coronary”

You tipped out a quick message before putting your phone down

“YOU gave her a fucking coronary grinning like a fucking maniac right behind me...” you snapped at your sister waiting for your girlfriend to answer

“Calm down... breath Bubs” Lucy said her voice low sensing you're getting angry again

“I'm sorry...” you said shyly after you took a few deep breaths

“You're all good... but we definitely need to do something about that anger” your sister smiled at you

“What were you doing earlier?” you asked not wanting to talk about anger anymore

“Learning spanish” your sister answered understanding your need to change the subject

“Speaking of... where's the spaniard?” you wondered looking around to see if you could spot Ona

“Which one? The pretty, the flawless or the colourful one?” Lucy smirked at you

“Ooooh goood” you groaned letting your head hit the table with a loud “thud”

“Don't worry... none of them took it seriously... Aitana was kinda horrified when you were two centimetres away from her face calling her flawless and then telling her she could do better than dating me, but all of them knew I overdosed you and to not listen to you” your sister chuckled as she rubbed your back comfortingly “Alexia even went so far to actually answer to you calling her pretty spaniard... but to answer your question... she's at the Beach with some of the girls... it's our day off and the weather is nice enough so they decided on Beach”

Your head shot up grinning widely “Wanna play a game??”

“What did your brain vomitted out now?” Lucy asked carefully knowing you can be quiet the prankster – years of hanging out with Millie Bright, Rachel Daly and now Ella Toone and Alessia Russo took it's toll on your behaviour.

“You think I could pull of another day of overdosement?” you smirked

“Overdosement is not a word... but I pay you 50 bucks if you can pull trough for an hour without Keira catching on” Lucy smirked back holding out her hand for you to seal the deal

“Kei's there... now THAT'S a challenge” you grinned and shook your sisters hand

“Let's go then... you can take some of my stuff – like that compression shirt” Lucy said offhandly as she stood up from the table and went into her bedroom to get some beach friendly clothes

“It looks better on me anyway” you yelled after her as your phone started to ring

“Hey G” you greeted your girlfriend lightly smiling brightly as you saw her face again

“NEVER do that again... I swear I died – dead... possibly twice!!” your girlfriend stressed through the phone

“I'm sorry Luv... she made me call you... well... not really made me but she said either I call you or she would.... I thought it would be damage control if I'd call” you explained quickly peering down the hallway if your sister would come back

“So... she knows?” Georgia asked carefully

“Oh yeah... she knows..” you sighed out “... she overdosed my painkillers and I spilled the beans quiet happily as I was told... I'm sorry”

“As much as I wish it would have happened another way... ANY other way... I'm kinda glad she knows... I mean... I still think she will kill me but trying to pretend to just be friends when she was around was hard... so hard when all I wanted to kiss...”

“Stop right there Stanway” suddenly Lucy appeared behind you which made you swear loudly

“Jesus fucking Christ Mary Mother of God!!!! LUCY!” you yelled scared as you slammed your phone upside down on the table out of reflex to “hide” your girlfriend from your sister

“I'm sorry!!” Georgia yelled out as she was met with a dark screen where your face was just seconds before

“Oh you're going to be sorry once I get my hands on you....” Lucy started before looking at you “turn your phone around... how should I threaten her properly if she doesn't see my face??”

“She KNOWS what you look like, genius” you rolled your eyes “she's seen your face before”

“But she was never at the receiving end of my glare” your sister whined which made her “thread” kind of useless

“Lucy I swear... I won't hurt her...” your girlfriend said her voice was serious and honest as you turned your phone again so she was met with the face of Lucy and you “.... I love her”

“You better not hurt her Stanway... you may be my friend and teammate... but she's my baby sister... if you hurt her I'm going to break your legs” Lucy said and you knew she was serious about it

“Isn't it... “I'm going to break your neck”?” you asked confused

“She's a football player... broken legs are far more scary than a broken neck” your sister grinned and winked at you

“Good point” you mused grinning

“Ehrm.. excuse me?! We're talking my legs here” G interrupted you two

“You have very nice legs” your eyes shining knowing you could rile up your sister “very VERY nice legs”

“No... nope... uh-hu... don't finish that thought....” Georgia stopped you quickly knowing what you were thinking “... I'm about to go to training, you can't think about that right now... AND... your sister is right next to us”

“There will be a moment where she's going to walk in on us... which won't make us anywhere near even but it's a start” you said and can't stop grinning

“You were so innocent once” Lucy whined as she finally caught on what you were talking about

“Yeah well.. my room was right next to yours and the walls were very thin” you shot back which made Georgia laugh out loudly

“At least you learned from the best” your Sister shot back immediately

“Yeah... Keira explained quite a bit” you acted like you thought about something particular

“OI” you heard from both women

“What... I always ask Kei if I have questions...” you shrugged your shoulders “... it's not like she showed me or something”

“Okay... that's enough... G... training – go be great... y/n... do whatever... gosh... I feel like mom” Lucy huffed

You chuckled lightly at your sisters antics, shot Georgia a quiet “I love you” before hanging up, looking at your sister expectantly

“What are we doing now? I'm bored” you whined

“Beach?” Lucy smirked at you

“And what should I wear? Should I go naked?” you rolled your eyes

“I do own bikinis” your sister shot back also rolling her eyes

“Do I look like I wear bikinis?” you gestured down your body

“Shorts and a bikini top?” Lucy negotiated “Bubs you look great.. you know that – but if you feel more comfortable in shorts or even sweats – which would be a bad idea here in Barca because it's like hot hot but even then – I want you to be comfortable”

“It's just... my knees... I don't want to answer questions” you said quietly

“No one will ask questions Bubs... I'll make sure of it” your sister laid her hand on your shoulder and squeezed reassuringly

“Maybe bikini with shorts?” you asked insecure

“Sure Bubs...” Lucy smiled softly as she stood up and got different bikinis for you to choose from

“Should I send G some pictures?” you grinned “Bet I can make her walk into a door”

“Let her be... she needs to train... she needs a lot of stamina for next camp” your sister waved off not wanting to get involved in your antics

“I like the way you think... stamina is always good” you grinned

“Not for that... she will run a lot” now it was Lucy who grinned

“You can't make her run... you're not captain” you said as a matter of fact

“Oh but she will run... away from me” your sisters grin widen and got an evil look

“No... Lucy no... please... you said yourself we need to be careful... and you chasing her around won't help with that because all the girls will ask questions and yeah... please Luce” you actually begged your sister to leave your girlfriend be

“Bubs you don't understand... I NEED to do it... it's basically big sister law” Lucy ruffled your hair and you knew you wouldn't be able to stop her anyway

“Just... make it subtle” you sighed out rubbing your temple

“I'll see what I can do” she grinned as she grabbed a bag which was next to the door and grabbed her car keys “Come on Bubs... it's Beach time... oh... and don't forget to act overdosed”

“Okay... I need more pointers... what did I do yesterday... I need to be convincing” you immediately were distracted by your sisters comment

“Oh god... I don't even know where to begin..” Lucy laughed as she opened the door letting you step outside first.

That's it folks... it's a wrap for Part 6...

Next time on “Living with the Bronzes”

– Beach shenanigans with Mapí

– trying to convince Keira of being high again

– Ona on babysitting duty

– Alexia trying to keep the everything and everyone under control

and Lucy deciding to just sit back, relax and drink Sangria

#lucy bronze x reader #barca femeni #ona batlle x reader #lucy bronze #keira walsh x reader #ingrid engen x reader #woso image #mapi leon x reader #alexia putellas x reader

[taintedcigs]

GETAWAY CAR — rockstar!e.m. x f!reader

CHAPTER ONE: BEST OF TIMES, THE WORST OF CRIMES

next chapter →

✦ summary: in which you return to hawkins to attend your best friend nancy's wedding, facing the problems you left behind, and the one person you abandoned; eddie munson. (wc: 9.4k+)

✦ warnings — ANGSTANGSTANGST, pining and slowburn, reuniting <33, strong language!, mentions of alc*hol and drg use and a toxic relationship, reader is sad and feels guilty. kinda mean eddie but not rlly.

✦ pairings — rockstar!eddie munson x fem!reader, past billy hargrove x fem!reader

✦ authors note — okay so its finally HERE. im SOOO EXCITED for u guys to read it!! i have tried to proof-read this a lot but my mind is fuzzy so ignore all mistakes!! if u need some stuff to listen to while reading this long ass chapter or the songs mentioned in it u can check out the playlist !! hope yall enjoy it mwah &lt;3

series masterlist | series playlist

I'm a cold heartbreaker Fit to burn and I'll rip your heart in two

The sound coming from your slightly jammed stereo while the rain gently pattered on the roof of your car could’ve been heavenly. 

If only it weren’t the roads of Hawkins that you were travelling in. Five years that had passed were seemingly nothing when you recognized the familiar streets and the infamous forest, heart skipping a beat when you finally arrived on Maple Street. 

The cars parked just outside of the Wheeler House were enough to give you anxiety, especially when your eyes spotted that van. His van. Why did he still have it? Wasn’t he a rich rock star by now? There was an unnecessary bitter taste in your throat, and your gaze was stuck on the van now, gulping physically as you tried to ignore those guilty feelings bubbling up inside of you. Mind quick to revel in all those memories you had with him in that stupid vehicle.

5 YEARS AGO.

“Hurry!” You whisper-yelled, still looking around, Eddie was right behind you, his tongue darting out of his mouth as it always did when he was focused, running like hell as his calloused hands harshly gripped the tequila bottle that you two had just stolen.

The angry voice of the shop’s owner had long disappeared by now, but you could never be too careful. When you finally got close to his van, you stopped Eddie immediately. “Behind you!” You yelled in a fake-worried voice, causing Eddie to start sprinting forward toward the car.

When he noticed you not following and breaking into laughter, his worried face eased as he realized your little prank, giving you a humorless laugh as he started sprinting towards you.

You squealed when he grabbed you by your waist, lifting you off in one swift motion, spinning you around as your giggles filled the space.

Eddie’s grin faltered quickly. “I hate you,” He mocked in a serious tone.

 “I’m sorry, but I just love that worried look on your face. And, oh god, that sprint! You know what you should be?” You asked, a smirk forming on your lips as you waited for him to fall into your trap.

Eddie sighed exhaustedly, a grin plastered on his face, he put you down.

You squealed happily as he did so, “A... Tiger!” You mimicked pompoms with your hands as you tried to re-do your cheer routine, chanting after Eddie.

He playfully nudged your shoulders, “Oh, Pinky... You are on a roll today, huh?” He asked, the nickname rolled off his tongue so sweetly. It was a stupid fucking name, sure, but you loved it. It somehow stuck, the entire town calling you Pinky ever since you pronounced ‘Pinky Promise’ wrong once and your parents funnily referred to you by it.

You nodded, giggling, stealing the bottle from his hands, and chugging a sip. “This was a great idea.” You hummed, pointing to the bottle, the bitter taste burning your throat, almost coughing with how big of a chug you took.

He quirked his brows, flying over to your side as he opened your car door.

“Let’s go, thief.” He tilted his head, hands gesturing forward animatedly.

“What a gentleman!” You mocked dramatically, sliding into the messy van easily as Eddie heaved a sigh.

He sprinted toward the other door, cursing as he struggled to open the rusty door, eyes bulging out of his head almost as he checked to make sure the coast was clear. “You know…” He started with a muffled sigh as he hopped into the driver’s seat. 

“Everyone thought I would be a bad influence on you… or that you would at least be a good influence on me, but ever since I met you, all we have done is illegal shit.” His voice was mocking. “I think it’s time you give up that good girl cheerleader title, princess. Because forcing your best friend to steal booze is definitely not good girl material.” 

Throwing your hands up in defense, you turned to him. “And they still think you are the devil worshipper!” You added, a hearty laugh escaping from your slurry lips.

Eddie sighed when he couldn’t turn the ignition properly, his van—Aurora, which Eddie of course named himself—was too old now.

“Oh, come on, baby,” He whispered when his fingers roughly tried to turn the key further, earning a hesitant cough from his precious Aurora. “Pleasepleaseplease…” He whispered, engine roaring back to life now with his second try. “There you go, honey, thank you!” He exclaimed as he threw his hands up in the air, mouth quick to press up against the wheel, giving Aurora a thousand kisses, causing you to squint your eyes.

“You are… pathetic,” You scoffed with a shake of your head, a teasing smirk playing at your lips.

“Oh, we’ll see who’s pathetic,” He disagreed dramatically. His eyes diverted from the road as he sneakily grabbed your bag, causing you to protest quickly. “Hey!” He didn’t mind your tug on his bicep when he dug his whole arm into your bag, fiddling as he tried to find your cassette tape under all the mess.

“There we go,” He hummed when he animatedly pulled it toward your sight. ‘BEST MIXTAPE’ The tape dramatically read when Eddie snatched it out of your view stuffing it away from you. 

“If you make fun of Aurora, you lose your music privileges.” He hummed all-knowingly, a troublesome look overtaking his features as he focused back on the road. Your gaze squinted, barely able to see his plump lips that were now quipped into a grin.

“Really…” You hummed, hiding behind the way your lips twitched mischievously.

Eddie’s curiosity was quick to perk up; you not whining ‘Eds!!’ as you elbowed him and huffed when you called him a jerk meant only one thing.

You had some really good new music.

“You sure about that… Munson?” You quirked a brow, grin growing wider as you seized your bag from his hands, earning a groan from Eddie.

“What have you got up your sleeve, sweetheart?” He asked, stealing a quick glance at one of your pretty smiles before he turned his attention to the road.

“Something really good…” You hummed, hand diving into your bag again before you reclined in your seat, throwing him a knowing look.

“Jesus…” He whined. “What d’ya want?” He implored, his gaze squinting.

You wanted to keep the game going, tease him further, and get him to his breaking point. But the way his eye twitched with curiosity, tongue licking his lips with need made you want to tell him everything, let him in on your little surprise.

“Hmm… Music privileges…” 

“And?” He asked with a huff, knowing that’s not all you wanted.

“And, I’m gonna pick the place where we drink this cutie!” You exclaimed, hand pointing toward the tequila bottle you had a firm grip on.

He threw you a glare; it wasn’t a hard glare, you knew it and he knew it, he did it just to tease you, and that’s exactly what had you so giddy about him. “Fine…” He whined, teasing further. “Whatcha got?”

You clapped animatedly, pulling out the cassette with a huge grin. The Cure’s ‘The Head on The Door’ album was swaying in your hands as Eddie groaned.

You pouted. “You got me all excited for The Cure?” He pinched his brows together, causing you to gasp dramatically, huffing.

“What’s wrong with The Cure? You love them!” You protested, glaring at him.

“You love The Cure, sweetheart.” He grinned, earning a scoff from you as your hands were quick to wrap around your chest annoyedly.

“Just for that, you won’t get to know what the second album is. And it really was a good one.” You shrugged, putting the bag in front of your legs, just out of Eddie’s reach.

“Oh, come on!” He sighed, eyeing you with squinted eyes. 

“I was joking! I love The Cure.” He murmured, but you shrugged again, eyes falling toward the window as you started giving him the silent treatment playfully.

“Really?” He understood your play. “Jesus H. Christ.” He huffed, attention turning toward you.

“Just check the glove compartment.” You ignored him again.

“Pinky.” He called out. “Do it.” His eyes pointed toward it, causing you to sigh as you opened it unenthusiastically.

A bunch of cassette tapes fell toward your lap, you squealed at the contact. “Eddie!” You exclaimed with a chuckle.

Three Imaginary Boys, Seventeen Seconds, Faith, Pornography and The Top was sprawled across your lap, and your eyes widened.

The Cure’s discography. Just sitting in his glove compartment.

You turned to him with an affectionate gaze, hands covering your mouth as you stood speechless.

“Wh-what are these?” You were a stuttering mess. Did he really do all of this for you?

“Uh–I’m pretty sure those are albums, princess,” He mocked you in a playful tone as you tilted your head, tongue sticking out in a childish manner.

His smile grew wider before he shook his head. “Started collecting those–uh… after that day–uhh, you remember that?” His gaze avoided yours. 

“We–uh almost got kicked out of The Hideout?” He muttered with a sly grin, eyes focused on the road just so you wouldn’t notice the slight flush on his cheeks.

“Eds–” You attempted to speak, but he didn’t let you. “You remember that day? You asked me what my favorite band was?” You nodded furiously, Eddie didn’t even have to take another glance at you to know you had a warm smile on your face, sensing your head bobbing up and down excitedly. 

“Y-you know, before they tried to kick us out?” You gave him a slight giggle, humming.

“I told you mine was Dio. And you told me yours was The Cure?” A dizzying grin was stuck on your face, cheeks stretching with pain from how big it was. And Eddie knew if he looked, even for a split second, he’d fall for you all over again. He knew that he couldn’t contain those feelings inside of him anymore. So he avoided it. He avoided that one glance thrown your way because he didn’t want to lose you.

You bowed your head to say ‘yes’ again, words didn’t dare come out of your grinning lips. You didn’t know what to do; you wanted to hug him, feel his arms wrapped around you. You wanted to kiss his flushed cheeks and his apparent dimple, which you couldn’t get enough of.

The silence hanging in the air was killing you. “I remember.” You muttered, almost shyly, like the two of you weren’t teasing the hell out of each other mere seconds ago. 

His brows furrowed when you leaned over your seat again, digging something from your bag as you hid it behind you.

“That is why…” You smiled, hands shaking as you hid the cassette behind your back. “I got you this!” You exclaimed, swinging the tape in front of his bulging eyes.

His eyes squinted before the realisation set in. You remembered that day. Just like he did. You remembered his favorite band. Just like he did yours.

He didn’t want to get his hopes up, you were just being friendly, right? You didn’t do this in the same loving, caring way he did. You did this as a friend. You were a great friend. And he was an asshole for harboring these feelings for his best friend.

He couldn’t help the squeak that escaped his plump lips. The car came to a halt quicker than he intended it to. Swinging you over your seat, making you squeal with him.

“Jesus, Eddie!” You giggled, turning to face him and seeing his speechless face as he admired you. You could feel your cheeks heat up, and it was embarrassing.

Why did he have to look at you like that?

Why did he have to complicate things for you?

You wouldn’t be good enough for him.

And there was Billy. Billy. Billy. Billy—

Your inner thoughts were interrupted by his childlike screams as he seized the Sacred Heart album by Dio from your hands.

He didn’t hesitate—like you did—to engulf you in a hug. Hands securely resting on your lower back, and you could feel your breath hitch.

You would spend all of your work pay checks on stupid damn records if it meant you could see him like this again, and you’d happily starve if it meant you’d have him hug you like this again. But that’s what friends did, right? 

“Oh my god.” His eyes widened, tone much calmer before his excitement rose up again. 

“Oh my fucking god, Pinky!” He yelled in delight again, taking you by surprise when his hands were holding your shoulder in excitement. 

“Y-you… shit- you got this for me?” He asked with a sympathetic gaze.

You nodded quickly. “Of course!” 

“Why’d you think we had to steal that bottle?” You winked teasingly, causing him to snort.

“Pinky, you’re the fucking best.” He muttered into your hair, a grin overtaking your features when he held your face in his hands, honey-glazed eyes boring into yours.

“Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou.” His fast-paced mantra left you giggling again before he pressed a small, appreciative smooch on your forehead.

He was just being friendly, you thought. There was no way he could want something more. You were beyond fucked up for that, and Billy was the only proof you needed.

He sighed contently when he relaxed back into his seat. “Wherever you want to go, princess, let me know.” He winked with a childish smile.

The two cassettes were replayed over and over again before the two of you made your way to your ‘special destination’.

Dragging Eddie through the woods while he whined earned several giggles from you. He chugged the bottle in his hands with a sour face.

“How much longer do we have to fuckin’ walk?” He complained, his feet dragging on to exaggerate.  

“We’re almost there, you dork.” You squinted your eyes at another frustrated groan escaped his lips. Laughter erupting from your stomach teasingly before you handed him the stolen bottle, Eddie chugged quickly, and his face soured, “How did you even find this place anyway?” He asked.

“Skull Rock?” You asked, and he nodded. “Wait, you don’t know about Skull Rock?” You questioned, eyes widening, causing Eddie to roll his. “C'mon, Pinky, not all of us hang out with the prissy popular kids.”

You gasped and playfully but still harshly hit his chest, “Ow!” He flinched. “Shit, are all cheerleaders as heavy-handed as you?” He asked, furrowing his brows. “Hey, I barely touched you!” You smirked while he faked getting hurt, rubbing his chest mockingly.

“Skull Rock is known as the make-out spot of Hawkins.” You enunciated dramatically as Eddie ooh-ed, “Thanks to, ‘King Steve’”, you mocked, mimicking air quotes.

Eddie’s eyes widened. “Wait… wait,” His walking came to a halt when he tried to process that information. “Y-you and Steve?” He asked, dumbfounded, a slight overtone of jealousy was apparent in his tone, mixed with his own insecurities, and your face was quick to sour. “God, no!” You scrunched your nose; you loved Steve, but not in that way, never in that way.

“Who do you think taught him this place?” You tilted your brows. 

“I came here the first time my parents left with a tiny note stuck on the fridge.” You shrugged. You were used to your parents always leaving you without any notice other than a scribbled note that told you that they’d be gone for a while. And you never knew if it would be for days or for months. Now that they've been gone for the last four months, you assumed it was permanent this time, and even though you never admitted to it, it fucking hurt. Coming here has been your only escape lately. And all you wanted to do was share it with Eddie, have him in your comfort zone. 

Eddie’s face soured; you could see that red tint on his cheeks, almost like he was furious. And he was, because he understood. He understood what it was like to have deadbeat parents who were fucking useless, he understood the pain it brought and how it could make a person feel so fucking unwanted. But at least he had Wayne. You didn’t have anyone. The closest thing to you had that resembled a family were your friends and the Wheelers—and even that wasn’t enough to give him some peace of mind. 

“When Steve had his first heartbreak, I brought him here, but that fucker turned this place into an orgy party,” You continued, a simple chuckle escaping your lips. 

“And after that, people started coming here all the time for their little make-out sesh.” Your hands stretched forward to make a point, and you rolled your eyes. 

“Even Billy took me here one time,” You murmured the Billy part, wanting to avoid the talk with Eddie because you knew neither of them liked each other, and you rarely, if ever, spoke about him with Eddie, while Billy always announced his distaste for Eddie, murmuring about how it was obvious that the “freak” just wanted to get in your pants.

“You know, Billy is one of those people who think I’m a bad influence on you because I’m a “freak” and “devil worshipper,” right, sweetheart?” You avoided his gaze.

You didn’t want to talk about Billy, at least not with Eddie, and not now. You just wanted one thing to yourself without him being involved, which seemed impossible.

You forced a smile. “Well, Billy is…” an asshole, an idiot, and sometimes a fucking narcissist, you wished to say, but you didn’t want to drag Eddie into your relationship problems. Billy was still your boyfriend, and in all honesty, your on and off relationship was something that no one actually understood.

Nancy gave Billy a glare each time he came around, Steve and Robin constantly reminded you how awful he was. But it didn’t matter, because you couldn’t let him go, each time he fucked you up in a different way, you went back to him.

You took him back because you didn’t know any better, you accepted him because love was supposed to be like this, wasn’t it? It was supposed to be a challenge, it was supposed to be fucking hard. It was supposed to be something to fight for.

But it was so…exhausting. Trying to get him to understand you, trying to get him to care, trying not to make him mad—walking on egg-shells each time you were around him.

And everything was so fucking different with Eddie; things were so uncomplicated with him and so fucking fun. You didn’t want to admit that you wanted that… that you wanted him. 

Because he was easy—and in the best possible way. He was so easy to love. He was safe and he made you feel safe. When he caressed your back, when he opened a door for you, when he let you walk in front of him with his hand ghosting over your lower back, when you asked him to hold your bag and he swung it over his shoulder. He laughed at things easily, he made you laugh easily. He listened intently, when you just wanted to open up for a bit, he was quiet; when you needed someone to talk to, he gave you all the advice in the world.

And more than anything, Eddie cared. He cared about you, in a way you had never been cared for before.

He brought a side out of you that you never knew existed; relaxed. He was gentle with you, he knew how to joke around, and he didn’t have any problems being who he was. He was open and nice; he didn’t get angry at everything, and it was just… nice to be around him.

You shook your head at your thoughts, “Billy is Billy.” You concluded, eyes fixed on the ground. Eddie just gave you a small smile, as if he understood your train of thought. His hands caressed your back reassuringly in a way that was telling you that it was okay to think what you were thinking, and it brought an imminent smile to your face, knowing that he would always be there for you.

You remembered that night clearly when the two of you drank an entire bottle of booze you stole, and smoked Eddie’s stash, bodies lazily laying next to each other, Skull Rock had the best view, stars filled the empty sky, and a crescent moon appeared between them.

It was relaxing, lying with Eddie, high out of your mind.

“There’s no way you think Honeycomb Cereal is the best breakfast food.” You shook your head as Eddie scoffed.

“I do! It counts as breakfast, and you can also eat it as a snack on its own, what more do you need?” He raised his brows, taking a puff from the joint sitting between his index fingers.

“Uh? I don’t know, waffles? Eggs and bacon? Actual good cereal?” You mocked, causing Eddie to nudge your side lightly.

“Oh, and which cereal does the princess think is the best?”

“Cinnamon Toast Crunch, of course,” You said proudly.

“You are disgusting.” Eddie scrunched his face. You shrugged with a grin on your face as you snatched the joint from his fingers, reaching for the lighter in his hand. And before you could even light the blunt sitting in your fingers, the carved lighter caught your attention.

It was a silver Zippo lighter with a dragon print and had scratches all over it. You scrunched your brows as you looked up at Eddie and said, “What the hell is this?” You held the lighter up, and Eddie seized it from your hands.

“A lighter?” He replied smugly, causing you to huff, “Where did you even get it?” Your curiosity peaked.

“Bummed it off a guy at the bar last night, pretty fuckin’ cool, huh?” He asked, getting excited as he showed you the print, the carving of the dragon was so detailed that you could basically count its scales.

“Stealing is considered cool?” You murmured, causing Eddie to give you a huff as he placed the lighter on the rock between the two of you, allowing you to get a more detailed look. 

“Really, Pinky?” He almost snorted. “How about you answer that one, because the tequila bottle you’re holding wasn’t paid for... If I remember correctly,” He mocked a thinking face, dimples ever-so apparent as he tried to contain his grin.

“I–We!” You expressed in a higher tone, “Didn’t steal that bottle because it was cool, doofus. We! did it because we’re poor.” You enunciated the ‘us’ part again before nudging his rib slightly and prodding, earning a “Hey!” from Eddie, who was ticklish. 

“Anyway.” You giggled, handing the lighter back to him with a grin on your face, “Would’ve been cooler if it was pink.” Eddie gave you a weird look.

“What?” You implored, shrugging carelessly.

“Pinky liking pink… what a surprise, huh?” He said sarcastically, causing you to groan.

“Don’t be such a guy, Munson,” You warned, you liked pink, but both of you knew that wasn’t why the nickname stuck. And it didn’t matter what it truly meant because you liked it. You liked that it was the only thing you had from them that didn’t leave—something that was truly yours, something that would never abandon you. 

“Oh, you know that’s not why, you doofus.” You rolled your eyes. “Have you ever seen a pink dragon?” You gushed, and Eddie shook his head. 

“See! Case closed.” You grinned.

“Pink dragons are cool,” You said with a determined face, and Eddie couldn’t help the grin that was plastered onto his face now.

You spent the rest of the night giggling like a bunch of kids over nothing, the chilling breeze of the Hawkins nights providing comfort to you that you had never felt before.

When your shivers hadn’t stopped, you heard Eddie sighing, “Okay, you are getting my jacket,” He insisted, annoyed, because you had refused his offer for a jacket a million times just because you didn’t want him to be cold.

He rolled his eyes and shook his head before you could open your mouth to refuse. Calloused hands quick to securely wrap his infamous black leather jacket around you. You looked up at him, a sympathetic gaze apparent, as you tried to refuse, tried to insist that he would get cold, but he didn’t accept it. “Better I freeze off than you.”

Your heart fluttered before it was apparent on your face, lips twitching into a warm, sickly sweet smile as you accepted, “Thank you,” You murmured, almost shyly. The jacket fell comfortably on your shoulders, a whiff of weed, beer and the old leather smell engulfed you, warmth taking over your entire body.

You liked the feeling of wearing something that was his. In fact, you liked it too much. Something about Eddie always provided some sort of security for you. He made you feel comfortable in your skin, like he was meant to be there for you, like he was supposed to help you, even when you repeatedly told him you didn’t need it. You cleared your throat to gather your thoughts, taking the joint in his hands as your head slowly but comfortably fell on his shoulders.

Taking a puff from it, you looked over at Eddie. “As soon as I graduate, I’m leaving this place.” You could feel his head turn toward you, his gaze almost burning its way through your hair. 

“Eight months, eight fucking months left.” Your tone was the most serious he had heard that night, and he couldn’t help but have a baffling look on his face. You had mentioned something about ‘leaving this hellhole’ before, but he never knew how serious you were, at least until now.

He shook his head quickly to gather his thoughts. He didn’t want to make a big deal out of it and scare you away, so he shrugged. “Fine, but you can’t abandon me, I’m coming with you.” His tone was nonchalant, and it brought a smile to your face.

“I would never leave without you.”

NOW.

You shook your head at the memories, at least you had achieved one of those things. You got out of the hellhole that was Hawkins as soon as you graduated, being selfish enough to not care about the ones you had left behind, but you needed to do whatever you could to survive, and you shouldn’t have to apologize for it, right?

Right?

It’s what you kept repeating to yourself, but there was one part of you that always felt guilty for leaving without a goodbye, cutting off all contact. And that guilt returned with Nancy’s invitation; you knew you couldn’t hold off on her wedding, no matter how much you wanted to escape the town that caused you agony.

Nancy was your best friend when you were living in Hawkins, she was there with you through everything, and the Wheelers were there when your parents abandoned you, inviting you to their home as if it were nothing. 

You've seen Nancy, Jonathan, Steve, and Robin several times in the last couple of years. Especially after Nancy told them the exact reason why you left, they understood and welcomed you. 

That’s what you loved about them; even though you spent some time apart, they would always be your best friend. And that is exactly why Nancy picked you as her maid of honor—because she knew you’d always be there. She trusted you with her whole life, and so did you. The two of you knew things about each other that no one else did. 

And I'll leave you lyin' on the bed I'll be out the door before you wake

You huffed when you turned the stereo off, the lyrics giving you a stupid familiar  feeling, like it was written about you and Eddie. Like Axl and Izzy were hiding somewhere in the California apartment you and Eddie stayed in right after you left, as if they witnessed you leaving him there. 

The song became an afterthought when you realized you actually had to go in now or one of Wheeler’s snobby neighbors would surely call the cops on you for suspiciously watching the house while hiding in your car like a coward.

Eddie was already in there.

What if everyone else was there too? 

Would they cuss you out and tell you to fuck off? 

You surely deserved it.

You cursed yourself when you exited the car, feet dragging you all the way to the door, knowing that you needed to do this. Inhaling a deep breath, you rang the bell, even the tune sounded the same, and the guilt inside of you started rising up again.

“Will you get that?” Nancy’s screaming voice could be barely heard from your side of the door, and your eyes immediately pressed shut together.

Please don’t let it be Eddie. Please don’t let it be Eddie. Please don’t let it be Eddie. Please don’t let it be Eddie. Please don’t let it be Eddie. Please don't let it be Eddie—

When the door swung open, the eyes that met yours blinked quickly, not knowing whether they were imagining it or not.

Your blinking eyes were quick to open widely as well, and a sigh of relief left your chest.

It wasn’t Eddie.

But it still wasn’t any better. Your face was quick to feel hot as your gaze met hers, and you felt ashamed. Not knowing what to say, you murmured a simple “Hey.”

Max stood in front of you with an unreadable expression, and you were afraid. For the first time, you were afraid of her.

Was she going to slam the door in your face? Was she just going to ignore you? 

You bit your lip out of nervousness at the silence, and just as you were about to open your mouth again, Max squealed—which you had never, ever heard her do before—as she wrapped her arms around you in a jump-like hug.

Your breath got caught in your lungs, and a hearty giggle escaped your plump lips as you embraced it, melting into the hug. 

“I can’t believe it.” She squealed, pulling away from the hug to see your face fully again, her eyes almost prickling with tears.

Jesus. She had grown up so fast.

Her face that fell around your shoulders felt weird now that she was so much taller and much closer to you in height. She looked different, and you couldn’t decide whether to feel ashamed or guilty about it.

Your eyes widened, almost in shock, you never expected to be perceived in any way positively, especially by Max. And she could sense that shock on your face, with the way your mouth visibly stood agape. 

“You-uh… you’re not mad?” You implored, eyes almost widening with the need to know. 

Her eyes softened, and the sorrows in your heart were quick to dissipate with it, she shook her head lightly, almost in an all-knowing way.  “Uhm- I-I know what happened.” She almost whispered, gaze falling toward the kitchen, implying that Nancy had already babbled about the day you left. 

Damn you, Nancy Wheeler. 

Your head popped up toward the kitchen, where Nancy was, as if you were going to run up to her, your cheeks fluttered with embarrassment, you never wanted Max to find out. 

“Don’t… please don’t be mad at her.” She turned your attention back to her with a gentle touch on your arm, easing your tense body with just one touch. 

“If she didn’t tell me what happened… I don’t think I’d even talk to you, Pinky.” She admitted shyly, your gaze on her still widening. 

“Wh-what exactly did she tell you?” You asked, you weren’t going to get mad at Nancy, you knew she didn’t have any malicious intentions, you just never wanted Max to know what her step-brother did. At least not until she was much older. Your brain almost short-circuited as you looked at her once again. She was already much older; you knew Nancy made the right call.

“Not much!” Max blurted quickly, maybe to ease your worries; maybe it was the truth. 

“Just that- uh-that… Billy did something horrible, and that you and Eddie left and then uh… the two of you went to.. uh—Chicago?” She stuttered, head hanging low before she looked back at you, trying to read your expressions.

“California,” You muttered.  “Uh-Los Angeles, to be exact.” You breathed, correcting her. Did she know more? Did she also know that you left Eddie after that, too? Did she know that you had been carrying the guilt of leaving Eddie, her and those four little idiots too? The only ones you didn’t have any contact with in the last five years?

“Is that… is that where you are now?” Her brows pinched together; she knew where you were—New York, Nancy had told her. But she just wanted to hear more from you, and you could sense it. 

You shook your head. “New York.” Your lips pursed together, and she gave you a slight nod as if to ask if there was anything else going on in your life, you caught it immediately. “My cousin helped me get this apartment, and she, uh, has this record shop there.” Max gave you a tight-lipped smile.

“And, uh, it has like a tattoo shop behind it—records by day and tattoos by night.” You revealed more, awkwardly, your stupid joke made you want to hit your head against the perfectly white marbled walls of the Wheeler’s. “I’m actually training to become a tattoo artist now,” You said with your gaze stuck on how much she had grown now, almost feeling embarrassed for some reason before Max’s gasp turned your attention back to her.

“No way.”

“Dude, you’re still so fucking cool.” She nudged your shoulder, and your face instantly lit up. All the worries in your head disappeared, giddiness replacing it when you realized Max still saw you as her cool older sister.

“You think so?” You teased, giving her a light-hearted chuckle, “Uh… yeah? Dude, you work at a record store that has a tattoo shop in the back… you invented cool at this point.” She encouraged, surprise and fascination washing over her face.

“If Mad Max says so” You teased, muffling her hair and earning whines from her. 

And you hated that it took you back to five years ago. Every stupid fucking thing you saw or did in this town made you take a trip down memory lane, but it was the worst with Max, because almost every memory with her had your head wandering off to the certain redhead’s step-brother. A chill ran down your spine at the idea of him even being back in town. But there was no fucking way, right? 

You had heard from Nancy that the Mayfield-Hargrove’s had moved out and returned to California by the time Max started going to college—somewhere far away from them. However, she and the other kids always returned to Hawkins in the summer. You assumed she wanted to reunite with her friends and that she was trying to avoid the step-fuckers—a nickname Max herself gave both Billy and Neil Hargrove.

“He-uh… He doesn’t know about the wedding, right? Or he isn’t… he isn’t back in town? Is he?” You stuttered eerily; you knew Nancy would never invite him, but you still wanted to make sure that he didn’t know about it or that he wouldn’t know you were back in town.

“No—god, no.” Max shook her head quickly. “He’s in California with the ‘parents’.” She scoffed. “He has no fucking clue.” She added.

And you nodded simply; one of your worries was now at ease.

“What about…” You trailed off, pretending to sound nonchalant about wanting to ask about Eddie, you were anything but as you fiddled with your fingers.

Max picked up on it immediately. “Eddie?” she asked almost smugly, making you nod quickly—too quickly to appear nonchalant.

“Oh!” She grinned, making your cheeks feel hot.

Damn it. How did he still have this effect on you without even being present?

“He came like an hour ago. The last I saw him he was arguing with Dustin about their nerdy game.” She rolled her eyes slightly. 

“Oh, uhm, that’s—that’s good…” You said unsurely, you knew he was here, because of his stupid van that was parked outside just behind your car, but what the fuck were you even going to do when you did eventually see him. 

Would you pretend like nothing happened?

Would he pretend like nothing happened?

How the fuck were you supposed to do that when your feelings for him were still all over the place? You already felt dumb for not managing to get over him in the last five years, it just seemed impossible considering how things were left off.

You cleared your throat, turning your attention to Max. You didn’t need Eddie to cloud your mind right now, the guilt of abandoning Max still filled your stomach.

“Max…” You caught her attention softly, and almost as if she knew you were going to bring up the subject, a pout overtook her features. 

“I—I’m sorry…” You started, voice shaky. “I fucked up, I should have let you know... A message, a call, a note… Jesus—anything.” Your voice was meek, causing you to gulp.

“I should have done something, I—Fuck… I don’t know what to say, just that I’m really sorry.” You were stumbling over your own words when your vision got blurry, eyes glossy as you looked up at her.

“Pinky…” She muttered comfortingly, you didn’t expect this kindness from her that you thought you were unworthy of. You had left her without anything, and she still greeted you with open arms.

Maybe you were wrong. Maybe people could forgive you, maybe they could forget. Maybe Eddie would laugh it off. 

“I know that…” She offered a sympathetic gaze. “I knew deep down that you would never leave without a goodbye if it wasn’t important.” She gulped, physically, that familiar lump in her throat returned with the emotional weight her words held. 

“I’m not a kid anymore.” Max gave you a small smile. “I know how hard that must’ve been for you, okay?” Her hands were quick to take yours into hers, fingers gently soothing you. “I don’t blame you. So don’t fucking blame yourself… I know how you get.” Her hands stood on your shoulder now, shaking you lightly in the guise of making you feel better. 

A poor smile appeared on your lips, Max possibly didn't realize how much her words mattered to you, how you needed to relieve yourself of the guilt. One gesture from her almost enough to heal the wound that coming back to Hawkins split open deep inside of you. 

“Oh my god!” Nancy’s shriek caused you to turn around. 

“Pinky, finally!” Her voice beamed, and before you even got a chance to say anything, she engulfed you in a hug.

 “I was about to lose it,” She whispered into the hug before her eyes widened at you and Max.

“Shit…” She muttered, knowing Max had probably already told you that she blabbed about your disappearance.

“I was going to mention that…” She tilted her head adorably, a shy smile adorning her lips as you brushed it off with a laugh.

“Don’t worry about it, Nance.” You waved your hands in dismissal. “I can’t be pissed at you for anything… at least for the next five days…” You hummed. 

“You better use your wedding privileges wisely.” You said, throwing her a wink, as you pulled away from the hug. 

Your hands rubbed together quickly. “So... uh–where’s everyone?” You stammered, you were mostly asking about Eddie, but you also wanted to know where the hell Steve and Robin were. You missed those two idiots who were attached at the hip. They could calm you down better than anyone.

“The other kiddos are only going to be able to make it to the rehearsal dinner and the actual wedding.” She pouted, knowing that she planned a five day full of activities for all the people closest to her and Jonathan, but Mike, Lucas, El and Will were all going to miss it. 

She huffed. “And uhhh… Steve and Robin are coming later tonight.” 

“You remember we got that brunch thing at Steve’s tomorrow, right?” She asked, eyes squinting with doubt, before her arms crossed against her chest. 

You almost groaned, head falling back. Fucking Steve and his stupid brunch plan. 

“How could I forget?” You said through pressed lips, trying your best to seem enthusiastic, it wasn’t that you had a problem with it—it was because you were nervous, so fucking nervous to be in the same close proximity of Eddie again.

“And Jonathan should be...” She eyed the backyard. “Yup, in the backyard with the band. I left all the band planning to him.” She shrugged, making your eyebrows quirk. 

Shit. She really did fucking love Jonathan, didn’t she? She would’ve never let anyone meddle with her own plans otherwise. 

“Uhh–Dustin and… the others–” Her voice slightly cracked, and you instantly knew she was talking about Eddie. 

“They’re-uh they’re just in the basement… uh—getting something I needed.” She nervously scratched her head. “I’m sure they’ll—uh… say hi when they can.” She gave you a nervous smile, eyeing Max before turning her attention to you.

And just like clockwork, just as Nancy started to babble more about the plans she had for the five days you were supposed to be in Hawkins, her words were quickly interrupted by the loud voice of Dustin, “Shut up!”

“Shut the fuck up!” He exclaimed excitedly as you gave him a slight giggle.

“I wasn’t talking,” You joked, and before you could get another word out, Dustin squeezed you in a tight hug, causing more giggles and excited squeaks to escape your lips.

“Looks like somebody missed me, huh?” You raised a brow.

“What have you been up to, Dustybun?” You asked with a sly smirk, causing Dustin to cringe at the nickname.

“Me? Jesus, you’ve been gone for five years, and you’re asking what I’ve been up to?” You shrugged.

“Where the fuck have you been?” You couldn’t pinpoint if it was genuine curiosity or a slight anger lingering in his tone.

“New York,” Max spoke before you, the attention in the room shifting towards her. 

“She’s a tattoo artist now.” She exclaimed excitedly, causing Dustin’s eyes to widen.

“You?” He questioned, causing Nancy to join in and nod in excitement.

“No fucking way!”

“Well, I’m not exactly—”

“Dude, that’s so fucking cool!” Dustin gushed, interrupting you.

“Man, I knew those sketches were too cool to let them go to waste on Eddie’s bedroom walls,” He snorted, but your brows quipped, his bedroom walls? Did he still keep those? 

“You have to tattoo me,” He raved, interrupting your thoughts as you stared at him in disbelief.

“No way, do you want Miss Henderson to kill me?” You huffed, crossing your arms against your chest.

“Oh, come on, just one little favor?” He pouted.

“Nuh-uh! The last time you asked me for a favor, she chided me for months, months!” You emphasized, “She even left me one too many voicemails scolding me!” Dustin sighed.

 “How about something not-too-big? Like the bat one you did for Eddie, it looks so fucking—”

“You talkin’ bout me, Henderson?” A voice rang from the basement, and the slight sound of his footsteps dragging closer and closer toward the two of you caused you to stop dead in your tracks. You always knew Dustin was too loud for his own good.

You gulped, physically, and that lump in your throat reclaimed its place, his voice caused further suffocation in your throat, not being able to breathe when you could recognize that husky tone anywhere.

But it felt different.

Something about him felt different.

Your brain was struggling to comprehend a thought, your mouth had dried up, and it was getting harder to breathe.

“Dude... you could not rock a tattoo like me, no matter how fuckin' hard you—” And there was a pause, a small hitch in Eddie’s breath, as he finally realized who Dustin was talking to. And you could feel that hesitation, that uncomfortable tension filling the room that was once comfortable.

“Pinky?” You could recognize him just by his footstep alone, but now you’re sure it’s him, the nickname still rolling off his tongue so easily and sugary, like you had never left, like everything was okay again.

You’re slow to turn to face him, heart pounding with worry before you fully take him in, trying to decide his facial expressions, waiting for the anger, disappointment, shame, and fury.

You cannot place what his gaze holds, but you have missed the small glimmer in his eyes, the same one he always had when he saw you, so promising, so mellow that you feel your heart tightening.

You take him in now more than ever, his cheekbones are hollow and his face is more defined. He has so much more muscle on him, and it makes you question how long he has been working out.

His hair still lays messily on his forehead, bangs framing his face perfectly. Black jeans paired with a band-tee, and not just any band-tee, a Corroded Coffin shirt that unintentionally has you smiling. His dark brown eyes are mesmerizing as ever, eyelashes fluttering as he tries to accept the sight in front of him. Trying to make sure that he isn’t hallucinating, that you are actually here.

He looks good, so good that you can feel your mouth dry up, words getting stuck in your throat, the guitar pick necklace adorning his neck makes you want to pull him closer toward you.

You study him more than you should; those deep brown eyes are staring at you like a deer in headlights.

When he takes a step closer, gaze still locked to yours, you feel as if your souls have made a bridge, one you weren’t sure if you would be able to mend.

Close. He’s very close, but still, not close enough, not to your liking anyway. You want to be close enough to take him in wholly; you want him to engulf you in his arms, protecting you from all that’s bad in the world, feeling every ounce of him. The one person you had been yearning for was standing a foot away from you, and it was truly painful.

“You came,” Was all that left his plump lips, his gaze was still soft. He was as nervous as you are, something that you didn’t manage to pick up on. 

If only he knew why you had to abandon him, maybe he would understand… Maybe he would even rid you of your guilt.

“Y-yeah, I did,” You stuttered.

“Max, Dustin!” Nancy announced. “Why don’t you two help me in the back?” Nancy threw a look that both of them understood immediately, running off after her without another word exchanged.

The incessant throb in Eddie’s heart returned when his attention turned back to you, he knew you would come, but he didn’t know how much that would crush him.

That rage in him, bubbling up at the surface, subsided quickly when you gave him that gentle look. “What’s Dustin yapping about?” He asked with a chuckle, attempting to lighten the mood and ease his own worries.

“Oh— uhm… just that he wanted me to tattoo him,” You couldn’t help the nervous crack in your voice.

“You? Oh my god, you finally did it?” 

“Well… not exactly.” You gave him an awkward chuckle. “I’m training to be one, though.” You shrugged. 

“You know I’m a happy customer of yours.” He gave you a smile before he flashed his forearm, showing you the bat tattoo that you gave him five years ago.

He had much more tattoos now, but the bat tattoo you gave him still stood out among the thousand others on his forearm, at least it did to you. “Oh!” He breathed, attention diverting to something else as his hands fiddled behind him. He dug them in his back pocket, he struggled to get something it out. “Aha!” He exclaimed, waving the worn out notebook in front of your curious gaze. “But I’m definitely not giving you the ‘Promise’ notebook back!” 

Your pupils dilated at the sight; he still had it. He still had the notebook that your stupid sketches were sprawled all over. You gave it to him sometime during senior year, when he was having some trouble with his songwriting process. Your parents got you that notebook as a joke as soon as they saw the handwritten ‘Promise’ on the front, a silly play on your nickname. And you wanted him to have it; you wanted it to inspire him as much as it did you; your art mattered, and you wanted him to see that, so did his. 

“You… you still have that?” You asked, an astonished look still not leaving your features. “Yeah, it really played a key role on our first album.” He beamed. A crimson red blush was quick to wash over his cheeks; he wasn’t sure if he should’ve told you that or let you in this quickly when you left him on a whim in LA. 

“But… that’s— that’s still so fucking cool, Pinky,” His eyes widened, he shook off his thoughts in a flash. He had missed you, so fucking much—more than he let you on.

“So I’ve been told.” You meant to sound nonchalant. 

“What have you been up to?” You asked as if you didn’t know, as if you didn’t try to gather some information about him from Nancy and Jonathan. As if you didn’t listen to their album the second it came to your record shop.

“Just making some music, here and there.”

It was a lie.

He knew it was a lie, and you knew it was a lie.

Eddie made it big after the last time you saw him, signing onto the biggest record label and releasing an album that became way bigger than even his group had intended to.

“You don’t have to be so humble, I know how big you guys have made it.” You offer him a slight smile.

“Maybe a little bit.” He gestures with his hands, causing you to giggle. “Even had a gig here last week, the crowd was crazy.”

“It’s funny, though.” He murmured, causing you to raise your brows. “All the fuckin’ people at Hawkins who called me a freak and tried to shun me out was screaming my name... pretty weird fuckin’ feeling, huh?” He shrugged.

“I guess I know how the popular princess feels now,” He teased.

You nudged him slightly, “Guess you’re the popular boy of Hawkins now, huh?” He gave you a slight smile, and it felt comfortable, he was so easy to be with.

“Yeah, Jonathan worked really hard to get us for this wedding thing, you know?” He joked, giving a slight smirk.

“You and Jonathan, huh?”

“I don’t even know how you guys became best friends.” You added, wanting to joke.

“Yeah, I guess a lot happens when you don’t abandon people.” Ouch. You guessed you had deserved that one, but it still hurt to see him think of you this way, the entire atmosphere of the room had shifted, the casual conversation you had wasn’t as genuine as you thought it was, and you could see that he was hurt.

You knew he would be angry, but this seeming grudge wasn’t what you were hoping for. Maybe it was selfish of you, but you wanted him to miss you, tell you that he wanted to be with you, engulfing you in his arms as he spun you around, muttering how much he loved you.

But that wasn’t realistic, was it?

You gulped, feeling awkward, and now it was Eddie’s turn to feel bad. He internally cringed as he saw the look on your face, he knew that look so well. The way you played with your hair for some sort of comfort, he could sense that the guilt was eating away at you.

“I— I guess I deserved that.” You forced a smile, chuckling ironically, sensing the visible shift in Eddie’s face, the initial shock of reuniting with you wearing off, and his anger and hurt taking over. 

The tension that lingered in the air was interrupted by Jonathan swinging open the sliding door in the backyard and the four people standing behind him.

Before you could comprehend who they were, a squealing voice caused you to turn around, and a blonde-haired woman brushed past you. “Eds!” She called out, walking toward Eddie.

You looked up to see Jonathan leading Gareth, Jeff, and Frank to the backyard, telling them something about their gig, but you could care less as you stood still in your place, eyes glued on how Eddie greeted the girl, focus shifting solely on her as his hands caressed her shoulders, comforting her, as if you weren’t there, as if he didn’t care.

That screeching voice sounded familiar, but you couldn’t tell who the hell she was supposed to be when all you could see was her back and Eddie’s hands ghosting over her waist.

You were starting to feel small, trapped in your own body, with nowhere to go. Why was she hugging Eddie? Why were they so fucking close?

When she finally turned around, tucking her straight blonde hair behind her ears, glimmering blue eyes met yours, and you immediately realized who it was.

Chrissy.

The same Chrissy that was your supposed friend in high school, the same Chrissy who suddenly turned on you and made your life a living hell in senior year.

That’s why you didn’t recognize her—the strawberry blonde color she had was now more vanilla, and you hated to admit that she looked pretty—too fucking pretty.

Your eyes were narrowed with distaste; you had no right to be jealous, but you were powerless against that ugly emotion when it came to Eddie, swelling your chest way quicker than you intended to and stinging you harder as you struggled to keep a forced smile on your lips. 

Huffing, your mind drifted to Eddie. Surely he wouldn’t want anything to do with her, you decided. He knew some of the horrible things she did to you during your senior year, so there was no fucking way he would want anything to do with her.

Right?

“Oh my god, Pinky!” She squealed once again when she saw you, and you wanted to chuckle bitterly. With your tongue rolling inside your cheek, you tried to keep your damn mouth shut. She didn’t get to call you that nickname. Not when she did all of that during your senior year.

You didn’t return the hug she forced you into, eyes drifting to Eddie who was now avoiding your gaze. Lips pursed shut as he twisted his rings. Something weird was going on, and your stomach churned at the thought.

When Chrissy’s forced embrace on you ended, you barely forced a smile, and with a dead look on your face, you waited for her to disappear.

Why was she even here?

Who even invited her?

Running up to Nancy and asking her what the fuck she was thinking inviting her here would’ve been an exaggeration, you realized.

As envious thoughts sank further and further into your head, you realized something was wrong now. The way Chrissy leaned in to whisper something in Eddie's ear, giggling as she threw her head back.  

It meant something. It was like a sick feeling of deja-vu. A sinking feeling twisted your stomach, and a pang of insecurity gnawed at it. Your jaw clenched involuntarily; Eddie didn't even spare a glance in your direction. His attention was fully on her, and a wave of rage surged within you, threatening to overflow. The need to separate them, to pull her away from him, was almost unbearable.

Still, you knew you couldn’t do anything, and that was what made your blood boil, Eddie was nothing to you, he wasn’t even a friend to you—at least not anymore, something that you made sure of five years ago.

And before you could say or do anything more,

Chrissy smashed her lips against Eddie’s.

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson series #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson x fem reader #eddie munson angst #eddie munson x you #stranger things fanfic #rockstar!eddie munson #rockstar!eddie x reader #eddie munson imagine #getaway car #getaway car series

[bats-and-the-birds]

I like to think about young Dick Grayson a lot, and right now I'm specifically thinking about him from the Justice League's perspective.

Like, imagine you're in the Justice League, maybe you've been there for a few months, maybe for a few years, but either way, you know how it works. Superman's terrifyingly powerful, but you get over the fear factor as soon as you see him cry over a sad cat video, and Wonder Woman's still a bit intimidating, but as long as you're good and truthful, you can trust that she won't crush your head like a grape.

And Batman... well, you've made your peace with the fact that you'll never figure him out. You know literally nothing about him, other than the fact that he claims to be fully human, but you're not even really sure about that, because you're pretty sure he just materializes in the shadows sometimes. The only things that you're 100% sure of is that you're terrified of him, and you're so glad that he's not on someone else's side.

And then, suddenly, he has acquired a child. Just like everything else, you don't find out immediately, because god forbid that man tell his team anything. But you start to hear vague reports of another shadow trailing behind Batman in the night. Superman asks him about it one day, but of course, he doesn't respond, and they all wonder, but it never gets brought up again.

But one day, unexpectedly, that shadow is at a league meeting, and he's not as shadowy as you would have thought. In fact, he's wearing the most vibrant costume you've seen, and you spend all of your time with other heroes in spandex. He's also young. Terrifyingly young. It's his twelfth birthday, actually, he explains to the league, and he pestered 'B' until he agreed to take him to a meeting. You all agree later that he looks younger than twelve. And you worry about him, because why is this child in Batman's care? Can he really be trusted to look after someone so small, so young, so seemingly fragile?

Besides, Robin (Robin, his name is Robin, he's a songbird for christ's sake), is everything that you'd think Batman would hate. He talks everyone's ear off with a giant grin stretched across his entire face. He begs Superman to fly him around and cackles and claps as Wonder Woman demonstrates basic sword maneuvers for him. Before long, the whole team is in a better mood. Meanwhile, Batman stands in the shadows, his face impassive, with no explanation about the little masked boy that walked into the room hiding under his cape.

He leaves just as he came, disappearing under Batman's cape as the two exit the watchtower together, and the whole league is left to wonder how the fuck that child ended up in Batman's care, and whether or not they should intervene, because spending prolonged time in Batman's company cannot be healthy for a child.

But then he starts showing up more and more, popping up in some places that you know from Batman's glare he's not supposed to be. He's teamed up with that speedster boy and the two of them cause havoc, but Robin takes the lecture he gets with a grin and gives a half hearted promise to behave.

You steadily start to realize that he might not be as out of place in Batman's company as you originally thought. You realize that the boy is a performer through and through, and that extends to that grin of his that dazzled the team when they first met him. You get the impression that sometimes its genuine, yes, but you'd never know if it wasn't. His exuberance is a persona held in place as meticulously as Batman's grim seriousness.

And though you'd assumed that Batman's sidekick (partner, the boy insisted, rather intensely, though his smile never faltered) would be well trained, this kid could take down league members, you're sure. You quickly realize that he enjoys fighting, and he fights viciously, giggling and putting on a show, but leaving broken bones in his wake. Your first impression is that Robin was more human than the demon they called the Batman, but you quickly start to question that too. If Batman can materialize in shadows, then Robin can fly. He twists through the air like gravity doesn't affect him and lands with so much grace that you'd think he had hollow bones like his namesake. You're not fully convinced he doesn't, considering he climbs up the bat with no warning, clinging onto his back like he belongs there (you quickly start to think he does), or he'll throw himself through the air with no more warning than a quick 'catch' yelled to his partner. And Batman catches him. Batman always catches him. Everyone keeps an eye on him when he's up high, but there's a part of you that feels like it's impossible that he'd ever fall. Or at least, impossible that Batman would ever let him hit the ground.

And you start to think that Robin's exactly where he's supposed to be; perched on Batman's shoulder, hiding in his cape, or fighting by his side. You still hope there's a normal boy behind the mask, going to school and making friends with someone to tuck him in at night, but you also can't imagine anything normal about Robin, and maybe that's why he needs to be by Batman's side, and maybe that's why Batman needs him too.

#batman #comics #dc comics #dick grayson #justice league #robin #batman and robin #dick grayson robin #dick grayson headcanon #batman headcanon #justice league headcanon #headcanon #sorry this is so long #i had more to say than i thought about tiny dick grayson #and kinda just kept typing #i'll write a fic if people want it

[r3starttt]

Rockstar abby/elliein, in interview!!

"Is your girlfriend dating you because the fame and the money?"

The reader was there even before the fame!

Even asking is offensive! How can someone think that of her girlfriend?!

And reader is in their apartment watching the interview on TV concerd because she's scared ellie/Abby would think that's true

Take your time and take care 🫶

English isn't my first language, I'm sorry for any mistakes

High School Sweethearts

> Rockstar gf! Ellie in an interview

a/n: I loved this request, it’s so cute 😭 also hope y’all like this cause it’s my first time writing something like this! Also sorry if it’s short I tried my best I swear 🤞

Warnings: none, just reader getting sad because of hate comments

You’ve met Ellie in high school. She was shy, had her small group of friends and was amazingly smart at science, physics and math, subjects that you sucked at. You’ve always catch her staring at you but whenever you two talked she would act so awkward. You always noticed how her cheeks turned slightly red whenever you were together, how she would toy with her fingers and how her legs would move up and down if she was sitting, making her converse tap on the floor extremely loud. And you also noticed how much effort she added to try and hide it, but she couldn’t.

You were the one to take most first steps on everything, staring with asking for her Instagram thinking you could start to know her more but it failed because her account was empty so you couldn’t get to know anything at all.

Then you proceeded to ask for help at physics, because that was her best subject, which was actually a win because after that you became closer, friends, or so she thought.

You’d had plenty of dates with her after that one class, but it wasn’t until you mentioned the word out loud that Ellie finally understood what was going on, and god she felt so stupid.

When she finally invited you over to her house one of the first things she did was playing guitar to you, to which you asked her if she could sing too, and she did. And when that happened you just couldn’t believe you’ve got such a hot talented smart girlfriend. That’s when you told her she should take advantage of that talent and the idea of making a band wouldn’t disappear from Ellie’s mind.

And that’s how it all started, Dina and Jesse being convinced by ellie to make a band, but not really convinced, they only agreed because how the fuck would a band like this ever work and how would it became famous? it was just for the experience and the fun and to not let her friend die alone.

So they performed for the first time ever at a bar, you’ve asked Ellie to make a cover of bad idea, yeah, from girl in red, and so she did. And for everyone’s surprise (yeah, including you) it worked more than perfectly. By starters, people did pay attention to them, that’s a win right? then people recorded them and asked for any social media to support them and you, from the public’s view, couldn’t be more happier because your girlfriend’s little dream might come true.

Thankfully you were right, they went viral and got a lot of followers real quickly. And so they kept on performing, until they started to make their own music and that just lead them to more fame.

Sooner that you could ever imagine they were already having small concerts, opening shows for bigger artists, being invited to red carpets and big events, appearing on magazines, having photoshoots and of course, being invited to podcast and having interviews as well.

For starters, fans and public in general wasn’t mean to you. When Ellie started to get the girls attention she quickly made sure everyone knew about you. She’d post you on both her own and the bands social media, she’d make you appear on lives, she’d make you go on stage as well. Everything to make sure that you and everyone else knew more than well that you were her girlfriend and she loved you a lot.

There’s the fan girls that hate you a bit and always insist that you’re only there for fame and money, the ones that would do anything to convince Ellie on breaking up with you just because they think they’ll have a chance with her if that ever happens. But after those comments became repetitive you learned to ignore them.

However today you weren’t so sure about it. The band had been invited to a live podcast that was super viral because of the influencers behind it and the type of questions they asked to their guests, as well as a small section at the end where the artists invited would have to read fan comments. They’d make them answer all, and of course they were all the polemic ones. And you knew you will eventually get involved in those comments.

You decided to stay at your shared apartment, you weren’t sure if you were gonna be able to handle the comments. So now you were just laying on bed with your phone on your hands anxiously watching the podcast.

So far everything was good, they’d given some context about themselves and how the band was created. They’ve been talking about how they meet and how it was all the process of becoming famous, and how was fame for them.

That was until they were told about the comments. Honestly at this point you’re way to focused on how fun everything was and how hot Ellie looks to feel anxious, but it does freak you out to see what type of questions they might get, no only Ellie but the whole band, you’re very aware of how annoying and disrespectful people can be.

Most comments are about how hot the three of them are, about how hot Ellie’s tattoo is, the typical fan girl comments that make the whole band laugh and make fun of it. Then there’s also hate comments and that unfortunately where you appear the most. One of the influencers grabs their phone and reads out loud “I bet Ellie’s girlfriend is only there for the fame and the money, she must get a lot from being so close to Dina and Jesse as well. Fucking good luck she has” then he proceeds to say excitedly how many likes the comment has, you hated them and hated this because even though you weren’t there you felt humiliated.

And as much as you try to ignore the whole situation you can’t help but feel like shit, you freaked out because if that comment had so many support that meant there’s a lot of people that thinks that and what assures you neither Ellie, Dina or Jesse have ever thought about it?

The three of them stay in silence for a couple of seconds, everyone just staring at Ellie awkwardly and waiting for her response, including you. And just when anxiety is eating you alive you hear her voice.

“Whoever wrote that comment is jealous as fuck” Ellie says clearly annoyed, her brows furrowed and a very sarcastic smirk on her face “the three of us meet her in high school as well. I was amazed by her when I first saw her but just couldn’t manage to talk to her, I was shy as fuck back then” both Dina and Jesse laughed, nodding their heads as making fun of her because only they know the amount of times Ellie would go with them to speak excitedly about how you had noticed her.

She speaks one more time and you can’t help but feel excited, now you understand the fans “however if she was here for it I don’t mind it at all because she’s hot, y’all wished to be m’ girl, stop being so annoying guys” and you can hear the interviewers laughing at the back, praising her for being so honest and calling fans out since most artists don’t.

And as you’re in bed, watching the live and feeling like a teenager in love. Ellie is dying to grab her phone and make you know how much she adores you and how much she can’t wait to get home with you, but she can’t of course cause she’s live and with her phone way to far from her.

#lesbian #ellie tlou #ellie williams #ellie x y/n #ellie fluff #ellie x you #ellie x reader #ellie x fem reader #ellie smut #tlou2

[lil-quinnie]

Rock Stars never die!

It can be read as a continuation of this or alone

Warnings: +18 smutsmutsmut, p in v, oral (f receiving), dom!eddie, kind of mean!eddie, cheating, angst angst but fluffy.

Summary: Eddie is back in the city, after months of no contact, he decides to show up at the apartment he helped you choose. After months, what could have changed, right?

Wc: 3896

-

Eddie was back at home! Well, at least in your house. 

He could hear your muffled chuckle from the other side of the door, causing a smile to break out across his perfect lips. He hasn't thought about why you never reply to his last text. Life happens and sometimes we don't have a lot of free time, but damn!! That was the longest Eddie had gone without talking to you, and he was hungry! Hungry for your laugh, your lame jokes… hungry for you!

A strange nervousness started to build in his belly, as if his intuition was trying to warn him of something. Eddie tapped lightly with the secret rhythm of the two of you, but after a few minutes of no one coming to open the door, he tapped three times loudly. 

The laughter suddenly ceased and strong feet against the floor trembled all the way from the kitchen to the front door. Eddie was smiling in anticipation, as always so determined to memorize every new detail of your face. 

His smile disappeared when a strange face appeared instead of yours. He furrowed his brows and cleared his throat, "Yeah, I'm… is that the house…? " The words died in the back of the singer's throat, without letting him finish the sentence, you opened the door all the way, “no way! oh my fucking god! Eddie, what are you doing here?” you didn't let him answer either, jumping towards your best friend, you hugged him by the neck, making the hairs on his arms stand on end as he felt your breath against his neck "I missed you" he said, simply.The man standing at your door, clear his throat, trying to make himself present in the room, with Sir Bart, your cat, on his lap. 

The veterinarian introduced himself as your boyfriend, to Eddie's sad surprise. 

Boyfriend?!  You've had a few affairs here and there but never anyone you've titled boyfriend, Eddie's heart sank a little at that moment. His head was spinning in a spiral of self-pity, inside he felt destroyed but outside he just smiled and offered his hand to your “boyfriend”, “I'm the best friend” he said with a smirk. 

A few more seconds of awkward silence “well, nice to meet you Eddie, but… duty calls” Handing the cat to Eddie, automatically holding Bart like he was a baby “like sticking thermometers in dogs’s trunks was a big duty” Eddie rumble, letting the air escape through his nose in a muffled laugh.

The vet and you walked to the door, Eddie preferred to go to your room and spare him the sight of the newly formed couple tender goodbyes.  Lying on your bed, petting one of the cat's paws while you weren't back, he buried his nose in your pillow, smelling the peach scent of your shampoo, Eddie knew he only had a chance, it was the situation he always avoid, the fight or flight thing and Eddie hates to fight but for you… he would always choose to fight. 

Few minutes later, you emerge from the almost dark corridor swinging your hips by the door. "Hey Ed, I need to take a shower before we can catch up, ok?” you said, hanging the weight of your body at your bedroom door, your eyes never leave his. “A shower huh!?” he raised his brow in a devilish way, making the goosebumps irradiate through your skin.

Eddie felt a pervert, of course he notices your flushed rosy cheeks, the wet hair at the nape of your neck, a few strands of hair glued in your beautiful face, the red marks that adorned the skin of your neck…“Oh! Shut up Eddie, it’s none of your business” you snapped back to him.

He doesn’t respond to your rudeness for a few, to lose thinking about your sorrow and puffy pussy still leaking with the release of his brand-new enemy. “I like when you’re mean, do you know that?” he said, popping up off of your bed, walking calmly ‘till his heavy boots almost touch your bare feet. He left his hand resting on the wall behind your head, trapping your body between him and the wall.

His eyes were burning through your skin, the dark chocolate of his eyes making it harder to get free of his embrace “Oh! get off Eddie,you’re such an asshole sometimes”  you tried to get free from his embrace but it was in vain

“Sweetheart, it was just a simple question” his tone was mischievous. 

His other hand was ghosting the side of your body, waiting for the right moment to finally touch your soft skin. His menthol breath hits your nostrils, making you feel dizzy.  While his wet lips are moving with every word he provocatively pronounces near the side of your face.

You fall out of words, they are all gone, your brain shot down! It was the first time Eddie flirted with you so openly, so much desire burned into those big eyes, sucking all the air of your lungs “I said..I said it's none of your business” your voice was small and almost inaudible. 

“You see…” he started “there’s where you are wrong! it is sweetheart.” he simply said.

His free hand touching your waist, exploring that part of your body like he hadn’t done it a million times, holding you at the place he wants. His lips lightly brushing the skin of your neck “I mean… It is my business” he kissed all the length of your neck, biting and licking between his words, testing how far he could push your buttons.

You squirmed under his lips, letting out a whimper that made Eddie’s dick twitch under his heavy jeans. His lips ghost all the way up to your ear, he nape your earlobe between his teeth at the same time his calluses hands bravely grab at your tit, feeling your hardening nipple between his fingers “Tell me to stop” he demand “tell me that is wrong'', still groping your body while you shyly start to hump his thigh, seeking for any kind of relief “Look how pathetic” he mock, “What happen sweetheart, doc dolittle didn’t made you cum?”.

He sunk your body on his thigh, forcing your sensitive cunt against the rough of his jeans, making you gasp, you don’t know if it was because of the humiliation or the fact that you really didn’t finish because of Eddie’s knocks at your front door. “Tell me what you want, sweetheart”, his fingers brush through your wet center “just…please Eddie” you plead.

Your trembling voice gives Eddie signals of your neddy, he could only laugh. “I’ll baby, I promise I will touch you, but first you have to say what I’ve asked you” he patronize,"You need to tell me he didn't make you cum" he took your hand to his hard dick "you need to tell me how needy you are” he whispered the end of the sentence in your ear “and how much you need my dick" giving you his satisfy giggle.

“Eddie please…don’t tease me, need you, I've needed you for so long” you said squeezing his hard bulge into your palm, you could see he wouldn’t change his mind even if you begged for it “he didn’t make me cum” your voice was a mere whisper. He let escape a muffled laugh by his nose, his fingers trespassing the barrier of your panties meeting with a very dripping wet pussy, he lightly explored your center with his digit, collecting all the arousal that was dripping through your tight. He brought his finger next to your face, knowing the release of another man was mixed with the arousal he caused you.

“Open” he demand referring to your plush lips, your mouth was faster than your brain and you had your mouth open, his finger invade your mouth being heavy at your tongue “suck it” he said, the taste was bittersweet, you could feel Eddie’s dick twitching every hard suck you gave to his finger, making you moan.

“Atta girl” he said, his lips touching yours for the first time, soft and strong like you imagined your first time with him would be. His tongue didn't ask for passage as it invaded your mouth, exploring all the flavors he'd craved for as long as he could remember. The bittersweet taste didn't disappear immediately, it disappeared as Eddie devoured your mouth with lust and passion. Your muffled moans caused Eddie's hands to wrap your leg around his waist, lifting you as if you weighed nothing.

Your body pressed between the wall and your best friend's body, his erection pressing you where you needed it most while his hungry lips attacked your neck, chest and before he could grab your nipple you held tight to the man's hair, making His gaze focus on yours for a few moments. The moan he let out was pornographic, making you rub your core against his erection in search of relief “bed, please” you asked.

In a single movement, Eddie had you on your back on the bed, legs still wrapped around his slutty waist, the kisses ended while the giggles began "Are you sure you want this?" he asked in a serious tone, you nodded with your lips trapped between your teeth "words darling, you need to tell me what you want"

“I want this” you said, bringing your hand to the face of the man who was looking at you in such amazement “I want you”. The kiss was no longer so hurried, Eddie knew that you would no longer slip through his fingers, at least not now. 

He took his time kissing and re-kissing every part of your skin that he had already kissed,lowered the strap of your tank top over your shoulder and all the way until it left your body. His lips were always in contact with your skin. His hands traced patterns on the sensitive skin of your belly as his lips kissed the mounds of your breasts, a firm hand cupped and massaged as he licked and sucked your nipple.

"fuck, you're so fucking hot" he said in a muffled voice, still positioned between your legs, you could feel Eddie rubbing his dick against your wet pussy, forming a wet spot on his jeans "I need to feel you, fuck, I… I can not wait anymore"

His mouth traveled to your panties, he ran his nose over your center, pulling all your scent into his nostrils "fuck", he continued to use his tongue and tease you, your grip on his hair only increased, and you he grew impatient, tears of lust formed in the corners of his eyes "Eddie, more please, please."

He slowly took off your panties, tracing the length of your leg with his fingertips, thick fingers moving your legs apart from each other, exposing what Eddie was so eager to touch "You're dripping wet, poor thing" he said as he kissed your thigh and trailed the kisses down to your groin. "Is this all for me?" he let his cocky tone win at times, making you feel small, “you didn’t need it, my dear.”

His tongue passed straight against your pussy, gathering all your juices in his mouth, you both moaned together, his tongue invaded your entire pussy, finding your neglected hole. He circled it with the tip of his tongue, teasing the entrance that was already pulsing with lust. His tongue applied enough pressure to enter you, fucking your pussy at a slow pace while his hands adorned your breasts.

The feeling was almost too much, you had never felt this kind of pleasure with a man before, damn! with anyone really. The thoughts emptied your head and you could only feel Eddie's lips around your clit while his two fingers fucked you, creating space to accommodate his big cock.

Eddie felt your pussy tighten around his fingers, your breathing started to become rhythmic, he could feel you were close and he continued to suck harder, determined to have all of your release in his mouth, triumphant at having made you cum, for the first time of the night. your orgasm soon washed over your body, a feeling of euphoria only made you want to return the experience to your best friend.

Your greedy hands went to his belt buckle, which then held her hands between his calloused ones. You wanted to punch that smug smile off his face "I'd fire my bullet too quickly if you did it...you know?" He looked at the size of the tent pressed into his pants, you could only laugh at his silly comment.

His eyes roamed over your naked body, admiring every detail while his cunning hands undid his belt and caressed his cock "Are you sure?" he asked once again "yes, yes I do" you said in a whisper as he pulled down his underwear keeping eye contact with you, his cock jumped free of his black boxers, it was thick and beautiful and just his sign made your mouth water.

He masturbated his dick while the eyes that looked at you with so much affection turned black with desire, the smile on the corner of his mouth before he let a ball of spit fall on the head of his dick, helping to lubricate his movements "that's good" He said, positioning his dick at your entrance.

He didn't put everything into you at once, he started pumping the head of his cock at your entrance, creating space for all the length that was yet to come, he could feel you squirming beneath him "shh sweetheart, it's about to finish" he told you he said every inch deeper he went, "that's it, you can do it" "taking me so well" “you’re gonna feel so good, i promise” he praised until he was deep balls in you. "fucking tight pussy", he placed his forehead against yours, waiting for his signal so he could move.

You had never felt so full in your life, his cock filled all the space your pussy had "fuck, Eddie please, fuck me please" the feeling was overwhelming, your pleas were music to Eddie's ears, the best album Ozzy couldn't compete with the sounds you let escape your sweet lips.

Eddie's hips came against yours, that delicious back and forth movement made you bow in his hands, which, to keep you in place, held you deliciously by your neck, pinning you against the bed while his cock abused your pussy, hitting the right spot.

"Damn kitten, best pussy I've ever had" Eddie just babbled gibberish sentences while lost in the pleasure of feeling your g-spot against the pink head of his dick, his mouth sucking bruises through your salty skin, eliciting moans and sighs from your mouth as your bodies moved in complex synergy.

His thumb came against your swollen clitoris, massaging it lightly while his dick had no mercy on your hole, "fuck eddie, I'm going to cum again" you said between moans and the noise of your skin slapping against his "I'm going to cum, fuck" you sang and he didn't slow down.

But a few minutes inside you "FUCK! I'm going to cum too" he began to fuck you clumsily, still playing with your clit "cum with me, cum with me" the hand that already looked more like a necklace circling your neck and squeezed your breast as Eddie fucked your pussy harder "where do you want me to cum, babe?".

"Inside" you replied in a whisper, "I want you to cum inside my pussy" your orgasm was washing your body, leg shaking and eye rolling, Eddie fucked you throughout your orgasm, praising you "is that what you want? Do you want me to fill your pussy? you dirty slut!" his hands were firmly on your waist now, his fingers were sinking into your flesh "Fuck, I'm going to..." and a loud moan interrupted Eddie's sentence, who collapsed next to him on the bed , still high on your adrenaline.

Not knowing how to react, you did the only logical thing in your head, go take a shower.

"So, I'm going to go take a shower" you jumped out of bed and walked to the bathroom, closing the door almost all the way and soon Eddie could hear the sound of water falling against the tile. Eddie could see the steam from the shower seeping through the cracks of the door, dancing beautifully between the last rays of sunlight that entered through the large window. Eddie's eyes roamed over the pictures methodically hung on the wall, over some potted plants  Focusing on every new ornament and adornment around her room. 

His favorite was the first corroded coffin poster autographed by him in a fancy frame! Some pictures of you with students, with friends and with him. 

His eyes were soon engulfed by the giant yellow letters on the cover of a gossip magazine"New Girlfriend?" over a photo of the model kissing Eddie “fuck…fuckfuckfuck”, he started to freak out. "Fucking hell" he thought, turning the magazine cover side down. Eddie felt the pillow beside him sink, felt the smell of clean clothes exuding from your pajamas, the heat that radiated from your skin warming the metalhead's bare arms, "it's everything ok?" you said, getting comfortable by his side,"She's not my girlfriend",he promptly said.

"I KNOW she's not your girlfriend, if she was, what she is not… you would’ve told me". 

The man could feel the sadness behind your gaze. "It was just a picture, like that actress who made the horror movie we liked” you continue,”what was her name again?" you got up from the bed, trying to escape that conversation. Already going to the kitchen.

You started to put some snacks in the jars "she wasn't my girlfriend either" he said, while following you closely. "Oh! and that model you said you were going to date.." 

"Wasn't my girlfriend and didn't say that! Sweetheart, come on!?, what are you trying to do here?" he said gesticulating between you two, you rolled your eyes and went to the fridge, pretended to look for something inside "I mean, this won't be the last picture I'll ever see of you with a woman, it 's you Eddie". Eddie felt all the blood drain from his own heart hearing your harsh words.

You changed the subject abruptly, the remorse of the words that came out of your mouth, in the way they came out… You tried to speak as softly as possible to not trigger Eddie even more "we're out of beer, I think Ethan had the last one" you gave an apologetic smile "can you go buy some more while I put some film for us, eds?".

Eddie felt his cheeks warm at the thought of Doctor Dolittle sitting on your couch, snuggly with you in his arms, even more, he felt mad about you still thinking about him after all that happened with you two.

"Fuck" he sighed, "Yeah! sure, I'll buy you more beer" Eddie put on his jacket and grabbed his keys "but just for you know, princess" despite the affectionate nickname, his tone of voice was nothing more than dry, your eyes glued to the hard face he gave you 

"Between the two of us, I've never had a girlfriend, you know that! And if I had one, I wouldn't wait weeks to tell you", he closed the living room door, disappearing through the corridors. you went from the fridge to sitting on the couch, trying not to think too much about what he said "Hope he felt better when he comes back" you thought again.

Eddie couldn't see anything in front of him, his vision too blurred by the tears pooling in his eyes. As soon as Eddie's feet hit the street it was like his world was spinning around him, He rested his hands on his knees trying to catch his breath while his cell phone kept vibrating in the back pocket of his jeans.  

"Hey harrin" 

"So you found out?" the tone of Steve's voice caused Eddie to snort 

"yeah, yeah I found out, she has a fucking boyfriend! Steve what the fuck?! She didn’t even told me" Steve cut him mid sentence

 "Oh! come on Munson, the girl has loved you since high school, now that she's moving on are you mad?" silence on the other end of the line 

"You know what, I remember you said you wanted her to get someone nice and she did", Steve said, bringing up topics from a conversation they had years ago

"Now I hope you're not an asshole and let her have her moment" 

"I love her" Eddie said, still standing in front of your building, fingers pressing down on the bridge of his nose, as if he'd been spilling some secret 

"oh! no shit Munson, it took you all this time to figure it out?Now I get the 3 times in high school! You had what? 10 fucking years to figure it out and now that she finally looks happy you want to tell her that? AND WHAT? you have a turnê next week, low blow dude" Eddie hung up the phone without bothering to listen to the rest of Steve's sentences.

Eddie didn't know if he should go back and face the consequences of perhaps the biggest mistake of his life. He could handle losing his fame, his band and even money if you were there to support him. He couldn't bear to lose you, there would be no life or peace or joy in a world without you, you were that for him.

Your cell phone vibrated as you searched for a movie that would make the metalhead feel like a teenager again, like you were feeling at that moment.

"I have something to do, don't wait me up"

you felt paralyzed for a few moments after reading his message, staring at the light that irritated your eyes, only able to lock your cell phone and walk to the balcony to smoke a cigarette.

Fat tears started to run down your face, you felt used, another one of Munson's girls. Some part of you believed that he felt the same thing as you, that after years and months of distance he also missed you like you missed him. You finished your cigarette in silence and took the walk of shame to his room, which still smelled like his expensive cologne.

While you stayed inside your bubble of self-suffering and pity, Eddie waited in the cold and empty waiting room of an animal intensive care unit, even though he didn't have any animals to consult with. He searched all the rooms until he found the Doctor in a conference room, looking at his cell phone in agony.

"Hey doc! Can we talk?" Eddie asked, already entering and closing the door behind him, crossing his arms over his chest as he stared at the unsuspecting Doctor."Oh! It's everythi.." and before he finishes "Do you love her?" Eddie spit at the non reacting doctor, while the doctor's cell phone kept vibrating in his already shaking hand. "What did you do?" he asked hatefully to Eddie, while watching your photo at his phone screen as he tried to call you.

#eddie munson #eddie munson fic #eddie munson smut #stranger things #eddie munson angst #eddie munson x you #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson one shot #eddie munson fanfic #eddie x bestfriend #rockstar eddie munson #steve harrington

[munchmemes]

taylor swift lyrics, the tortured poets department edition, part one

fortnight

▸ i was supposed to be sent away but they forgot to come and get me. ▸ i was a functioning alcoholic till nobody noticed my new aesthetic. ▸ no one here's to blame but what about your quiet treason? ▸ for a fortnight there, we were forever. ▸ i took the miracle move-on drug, the effects were temporary. ▸ i love you, it's ruining my life. ▸ thought of calling you but you won't pick up.

the tortured poets department

▸ who uses typewriters anyway? ▸ you're in self-sabotage mode. ▸ we're modern idiots. ▸ you smoked then ate seven bars of chocolate. ▸ i chose this cyclone with you. ▸ sometimes i wonder if you're gonna screw this up with me. ▸ so tell me, who else is gonna know me? ▸ that's the closest i've come to my heart exploding.

my boy only breaks his favorite toys

▸ you should've seen them when they first got me. ▸ i only break my favourite toys. ▸ i should've known it was a matter of time. ▸ we could've played for keeps this time. ▸ i know i'm just repeating myself. put me back on my shelf. ▸ i'll tell you that [you/they] run because [you/they] love me. ▸ i knew too much. ▸ you saw forever so you smashed it up. ▸ once i fix me, you're gonna miss me. ▸ you took me out of my box, stole my tortured heart, left all these broken parts and told me i'm better off but i'm not.

down bad

▸ for a moment, i knew cosmic love. ▸ now i'm down bad, crying at the gym. ▸ everything comes out of teenage petulance. ▸ fuck it if i can't have [you/them]. ▸ i might just die, it would make no difference. ▸ i might just not get up, i might just stay down bad. ▸ fuck it, i was in love.

so long, london

▸ my spine split from carrying us up the hill. ▸ i stopped trying to make you laugh. ▸ how much sad did you think i had in me? ▸ i didn't opt in to be your odd man out. ▸ i'm pissed off you let me give you all that youth for free. ▸ you say i abandoned the ship but i was going down with it. ▸ my friends said it isn't right to be scared every day of a love affair. ▸ just how low did you think i'd go before i'd self-implode? ▸ you swore that you loved me but where were the clues? ▸ i'm just mad as hell 'cause i loved this place.

but daddy i love him

▸ i just learned these people only raise you to cage you. ▸ i just learned these people try and save you 'cause they hate you. ▸ they slammed the door on my whole world. the one thing i wanted. ▸ you should see your face. ▸ no i'm not coming to my senses. ▸ i know [you/they]'re crazy but [you/they]'re the one i want. ▸ all my plans were laid. ▸ growing up precocious sometimes means not growing up at all. ▸ i'll tell you something right now, i'd rather burn my whole life down than listen to one more second of all this bitching and moaning. ▸ i'll tell you something about my good name, it's mine alone to disgrace. ▸ i don't cater to all these vipers dressed in empath's clothing. ▸ god save the most judgmental creeps who say they want what's best for me. ▸ you ain't gotta pray for me if all you want is gray for me. then it's just white noise and it's just my choice. ▸ scandal does funny things to pride but brings lovers closer. ▸ fuck 'em, it's over. ▸ time, doesn't it give some perspective?

fresh out the slammer

▸ fresh out the slammer, i know who my first call will be to. ▸ handcuffed to the spell i was under, for just one hour of sunshine. ▸ years of labor, locks and ceilings, in the shade of how [they were] feeling. ▸ it's gonna be alright, i did my time. ▸ as i said in my letters, now that i know better, i will never lose my baby again. ▸ my friends tried but i wouldn't hear it, watched me daily disappearing. ▸ ain't no way i'm gonna screw up, now that i know what's at stake here.

florida!!!

▸ you can beat the heat if you beat the charges too. ▸ they said i was a cheat, i guess it must be true. ▸ this city reeks of driving myself crazy. ▸ little did you know, your home's really only a town you're just a guest in. ▸ i'm barricaded in the bathroom with a bottle of wine. ▸ well, me and my ghosts, we had a hell of a time. ▸ yes, i'm haunted but i'm feeling just fine. ▸ all my girls got their lace and their crimes. ▸ i did my best to lay to rest all of the bodies that have ever been on my body. ▸ i've got some regrets, i'll bury them in florida. ▸ tell me i'm despicable, say it's unforgivable. ▸ love left me like this and i don't want to exist.

#rp meme #rp starters #sentence starters #lyrics rp starters #lyrics starters #lyrics rp meme #roleplay meme #lyrics meme #taylor swift lyrics rp meme

[s-4pphics]

scent of the pine. 2 (e.w.)

wc;cw : 5.4k, ANGSTTTT, sistersbestfriend!ellie, gutarist/producer!ellie, age gap(three years), violinist!oc, all ocs r black coded yall see it, queers being queer omg so lame🙄, descriptions of mania, anxiety and panic attacks, depression, lots of crying, yelling and screaming, ellie’s mean, but so is big sis😛, reader getting bold oop, slight smut(ellie gets head, but nothing super descriptive), like one mention of vaping/drinking, more time skips :|, cat’s kinda rich and hot😳, protective big sis struggles :(, more sad, brief mention of deceased and verbally abusive parents clock that teaaa :O, actual classical music references bc i’m a nerd obsessed w orchestras

It was December, you were fifteen, and you haven’t heard from Ellie since her birthday. 

After you and your sister frantically left the Miller residence, you’d broke down on your front porch. Despite your attempts of trying to hide your devastation from your sister until you at least got inside, so many emotions—sadness, anger, love, lovelovelove — exploded right in front of your front door. 

What the fuck did she say to you?! your sister had asked angrily. You knew in your gut that she hadn’t been upset with you, but you couldn’t help the immense guilt that overtook your body. You’d unintentionally dragged your beloved sister into you and her best friend’s one-sided, fucked up love story. Even though you knew your sister loved Ellie, she loved you more and she would pick you over anyone that she knew without a second of doubt. You might’ve just ruined twelve years of friendship. You hated yourself. You wanted to disappear. 

Your sister had calmed you down enough for you to regain functionality and quietly walk inside so that you wouldn’t wake your mother. She’d bent down to help you unlace your boots as you dug your palms into your eyes. Your sister had quickly hung up her keys on the holder on the wall, tossed her clutch on the couch, and guided you upstairs. 

After both of you got to her room, she gently closed the door behind you before she started pressing you for information. She was always there to gently talk you back down to earth when you were overwhelmed, but when her angered tone penetrated your ears and your skull, you knew you wouldn’t be getting out of this one easily. 

“What the fuck just happened!” she angrily whispered as she trapped your back to the door with an accusatory point of her finger. 

Your trembles began peaking again. All you could do was shake your head. Don’t say it. Don’t. You were so frazzled that you hadn’t noticed your sister’s phone buzzing in her hand the second you both left. Ellie. You knew it was Ellie. It had to be her. Ellie. Oh god. EllieEllieEllie—

She’d raised her voice slightly as she called your name in attempts to regain your attention. 

You’d gripped your black cloak tighter in your hands. Nononono don’t say it don’t—

“I'm in.. I… love…her.” you’d barely whispered. 

She choked out a small what. 

You’d squeezed your eyes shut as more tears escaped at a pace you couldn’t control. 

“I… Lov..e,” you whimpered out, your voice cracking. You could barely breathe. 

Your sister's eyes had widened in acknowledgement before her expression fell, and it made you sob harder. 

Your sister had fallen silent after your very shaky and gay admission that night. 

She brought herself down from the initial shock before she coaxed you through your breathing exercises. Once she noticed that you had finally calmed down, she gently took your hand in hers and led you towards her private bathroom. She watched you jump onto the sink as she turned the water on before she quickly retreated to her room to grab herself and you some pajamas and wash clothes from her dresser. 

When she returned, she handed you your usual oversized t-shirt, which you stood to change into, before she put your washcloth under the cool stream of water and patted your still burning face. She noticed you’d been closely watching her expression with the hopes of finding anything in her eyes, but she remained stoic and moved on autopilot. 

She’d quickly changed clothes, washed her face, and put her bonnet on before walking you both back into her bedroom and to her bed. She went to her usual side before getting under her cotton sheets, tucking herself in with her back turned to you. 

She’d felt you ease into the bed before you shuffled closer whispering a gentle and terrified do you hate me? in which she simply shook her head no against her pillow. 

She felt you wrap your smaller arms around her frame as you held her close, and she finally allowed the tears she’d held back to overflow. She prayed you hadn’t noticed. 

She’d felt you squeeze tighter. 

Your birthday was still. 

Even though your friends had gone all out for your special day, —they baked you red velvet cupcakes and brought balloons to your first period classroom, much to your teacher’s dismay— you faked your excitement and enthusiasm even though you appreciated their grand gesture. 

When you’d finally gained the courage to invite them over to tell them what happened on that traumatic night, they’d been nothing but supportive and comforting. Starr even hollered out a fuck ellie! into your shoulder for extra emphasis as she hugged you, in which you sadly, but jokingly replied not too much. 

Your sister had been driving you to school that week due to your mother’s new work duties—bless her heart— and every time she caught your eyes in the rearview mirror, she quickly dropped them, staring back at the road blankly. She’d mumbled out a see you at three as she parked on the curb of your campus, which you sadly nodded at before you got out of the car with your violin case in hand. 

She never used to drop you off without an i love you! and be safe! 

You’d ruined everything. 

Ellie was a wreck. 

She couldn’t gather the strength to contact your sister, you, or even your mother for over a month and her self-inflicted negligence had her experiencing a loss that she hadn’t felt since her fucking mom died. A vacancy. An emptiness. 

After you fled from the patio that night, she instinctively moved to chase after you with a shout of your name before her girlfriend released a shriek of are you seriously fucking leaving right now, el, what the fuck?! and her tone made her halt. Her breathing had been heavy, but she was practically hyperventilating now, picking hard at her scarred cuticles as hot tears filled her eyes, and she immediately regretted throwing this fucking party. Fuck Halloween and fuck Jason fuck everything—

She’d memorized that tone from the countless arguments she had with her girlfriend— her mom—about choice. Specifically, the ones that she made. 

You either stay here with me, or you go live with your fucking dad and never see me again! It’s up to you! 

She knew that she had to choose between you: someone who treated her so gently, looked at her like she hung the stars in the sky, saw her in her purest form. And someone she accidentally fell in love with. Someone who tended to her wounds. Someone who provided a good distraction from the chaotic world that surrounded her. 

And at that moment, she decided that person wasn’t you. 

She exhaled deeply before turning, defeatedly walked back to her girlfriend in resignation. She’d fallen back into the arms that pulled her out of her own darkness. Dina (who’d been desperately calling your sister since you two left), Jesse, and the rest of her friends had nearly torn the back door off the hinges at how hard they pulled it open, loudly asking what the fuck was going on with you. Cat had hissed something at them all, but Ellie couldn’t hear anything over the loud pounding in her ears. She needed to lay down. 

She’d slowly lifted her head up from her girlfriend’s shoulder and turned, accidentally meeting Dina’s eyes. 

They were always so comforting. So gentle. 

They made her think of your sister. Of you. 

And now here she was. Sat on the edge of her girlfriend's bed with her customized electric and embroidered pic in hand. Almost two months later, and she’d made no effort to contact either of you. Your sister was loyal, and she was almost positive you hated her, so she didn’t push either of you to do anything. 

But even then, she couldn’t get the crushing look of heartbreak in your eyes out of her mind. It ate at her. 

There was no way in hell you had a crush on her. 

Right? Right? 

She was pulled from her thoughts by hands on her back, slowly sliding up her shoulders, soft and caressing, light kisses being pressed onto her neck. She shivered. 

Cat had invited her to her parents’ vacation loft in Los Angeles for a week so that she could get a feel of the fast-paced lifestyle that only existed in the city. Her dad had feared letting her go to another state alone, but she was able to convince him with a surprise charcuterie board brunch for the two of them. 

Joel had always been a wine mom.

She’d desperately needed a change of scenery after everything erupted, and her girlfriend wanted nothing more than to give her that. She had been having an enjoyable time, much to her surprise, throwing herself into any creative escape she could—playing guitar, going to karaoke with Cat and her drunk friends, painting, even producing (something that she fell in love with a year ago)—but she couldn’t shake the feeling that she’d been missing something. 

She placed her pic and guitar on the mattress before turning her head to connect her lips with Cat as she wrapped her smaller hand around her throat to hold her still. Heat swirled in her belly as she whimpered, her girlfriend pushing her tongue past her lips to slide onto hers. Her girlfriend gently pushed her onto her back before swinging her left leg over to straddle her, reconnecting their lips in a heated kiss. Ellie grinded her hips up to meet Cat while she pushed down to meet hers, both girls letting out wanton moans into each other's mouths. 

Cat tore at Ellie’s clothes and sensually kissed her way down her body until her head was between her trembling legs as she drew moan after whine after pant from the flushed, freckled girl’s mouth. She felt nothing but a hot, building feeling in the pit of her stomach before her peak slammed into her as her eyes rolled back and body trembled while she gripped the black sheets. 

She came down from her euphoria as her girlfriend pressed gentle kisses all over her chest and face while she hit her girl’s nic that’d been discarded on the nightstand, exhaling the smoke. 

Ellie was supposed to feel completely elated: this was all she’d ever wanted. All her little heart had dreamed of. But she couldn’t rid herself of the guilt festering in her stomach like roaches. 

A strong, drowning guilt. 

March came along, and you were slowly regaining your footing. 

To say that these cold months were hard would be a grave understatement. You’d been having trouble eating and sleeping. Even if you did get an increment of shut eye, when you’d awoken, you wished you hadn’t as you gazed at the frost that had coated your bedroom window. Your violin case had been collecting dust in the corner of your room and you couldn’t even bring yourself to care. 

Arya had become so concerned that she almost told your mother about your behavior before you pleadingly begged her not to. She reluctantly fell back, but she, as well as Kris and Starr, kept a close eye on you afterwards. 

The only upside to your winter was that your sister began speaking to you again in January. Gentle how are you’s turned into i’m sorrys that turned into tear-riddled i love you so muchs, not knowing that you’d been praying that she would forgive you and your wrongs. 

After the rough patch with your sister was stitched up, you began to manically memorize all six of Niccolò Paganini’s concertos, declining all your friend’s invites to hang out. 

If your brain wanted to be your arch nemesis, fine, but you were at least going to try to fight back with the shrilling notes of Adagio. 

One late night, your practicing had gotten so intense that your mother barged into your room practically begging you to lay the fuck down and go to sleep, with which you stubbornly replied sleep is for the weak! before starting the entire first concerto from the beginning… for the seventh time. You watched her shake her head before gently shutting the door. I turned my baby into a monster, she’d thought on the walk back to her bedroom. 

You put your small remainder of energy into your math homework, into cleaning, into violin, hell, you’d even asked your sister if she could dig up her rusted, pink recorder from her multitude of stuffed boxes in her closet so you could learn and practice, which threw her for a whim. She said hell the fuck no. 

Although you'd looked like you'd been hit by thirty oncoming buses for the entire month of February, your musical perception had been the best it's ever been. Every time you shut your eyes, your surroundings melted into the black and white lines from your sheet music, symphonic melodies drowning out the white noise in your head. 

This was real joy; this was real love! —

“Bro, what the fuck are you smiling at? Kris was just telling us about how her cat predicted her grandma's death.” 

You were quickly pulled from your colorful fantasy by Arya’s voice, crashing back down to your friends who were sitting at the small lunch table with you. They’d been looking at you like you lost your mind. 

“OH, uh, I was just, um… thinking about this joke my sister told me this morning! It’s been on my mind all day,” you said with a sheepish laugh. 

“Mhmm. What was the joke.” Starr said with a blank stare. 

Dammit, uh! —

“Girl, we all know you’ve been going through it lately, but you’re going to have to get over this shit at some point,” Kris said, gently placing her hand on yours. “What you’re doing isn’t… healthy.” 

You were immediately in defense-mode, straightening your back before your eyes hardened at your friend, snatching your hand back from underneath your friend's manicured hand, making her flinch. 

“I thought I told y’all not to give me pity anymore, I’m fine, I’ve been fine this whole time actually,” you said, annoyed, “I just got distracted, it’s not that serious.” 

“Calm the hell down,” Arya, just as irritated, cut in. “We’re not giving you a fucking pity party, we’re concerned, as we should be. You’ve been rippin’ and runnin’ since fucking New Years, sorry for actually caring about your well-being.” 

Her scolding immediately made you remorseful as the angry crease in your eyebrows relaxed, your eyes softening. 

Your eyes met Kris's even softer ones, reaching out for her hand that was left on the table, “‘m sorry, I didn’t mean to throw that… on you like that,” you said, embarrassed at your behavior. 

“I’m… I’m sorry.” 

Starr, who was seated next to you, threw her arm over your shoulder to pull you closer before planting a wet smooch on your forehead. 

“Don’t apologize, you fuckin’ asshole,” she said with a cheesy grin. “Just stop going off on the people that wanna see you happy. We want what’s best for you because you deserve it. End of story.” 

“You bitches are so corny, I swear to god.” Arya said with a fat eye roll, before getting up to lean over the table to kiss your cheek. 

You loved them so bad, holy shit. 

When you were at school, your sister received a phone call from Ellie. 

She had been seated on the living room couch, munching on microwavable Kraft mac ‘n cheese while rewatching the seventh season of Bad Girls Club before her phone started vibrating on the table. 

She almost declined it, but something in the back of her mind told her to swallow her pride and hear her out. Even if she was only given five minutes. 

She put down her cup of mac, picked up her phone, and clicked the green button at the bottom of the screen before bringing it up to her ear. 

It was silent for some seconds before a raspy voice that she missed so dearly rang through her head. 

“Umm… hey. Are you busy right now?” 

Your sister pulled into the mall complex that was ten minutes away from your house on Ellie’s orders of yeah i’ll be by the old Chik-Fil-A building just lmk when ur here and i’ll come 2 u. At first, she was skeptical that Ellie and her weird ass girlfriend were planning to jump her, but after Ellie explained that she worked full-time at the record shop in the complex and that she would be on break, she accepted. 

She pulled into a parking spot before reaching for her phone and sending her a here, to which she replied with a comin. 

She got out of her car before locking it, walking up and onto the sidewalk of the complex. She turned around at the call of her name, finally making eye contact with the girl that she would’ve never expected to fall out with. 

She still looked cute, though. Good for her. 

“…hey.” Ellie said 

“What’s up.” your sister replied stoically. 

“Nothin’, trying to make money,” she said with a soft laugh before gesturing behind your sibling to the mall bench. “We can sit if you wanna.” 

“I’m good.” 

She took a deep breath at the tone of her voice before softly replying “Okay… umm... how’ve you been doing?” 

Your sister was starting to get aggravated with her friend’s…? Foe? She didn’t even know anymore… this girl’s attempt at small talk, so she cut it short. 

“Ellie, why'd you call me out here.” 

The girl paused, taken aback, “Are you really going to act like that right now?” 

“Don’t try to question me right now! Where the fuck have you been?!”

“I should be asking you the same shit! You didn’t care enough to reach out to me either!” She said, voice raising with hers. Regular mallgoers were starting to look at the two of them crazy, but neither of them cared. 

“Why the fuck would I reach out to you when all this shit is your fault! And before you try to fuckin’ lie, my sister told me everything!” 

“Oh yeah? She told you everything? What the fuck did she say, then?” 

“How you called her a little fuckin’ kid in front of your bitch ass girlfriend! —“ 

“Watch your fucking mouth!” 

“FUCK YOU AND HER!” your sister screamed out, waving her arms around. Poor little Jimmy in the Spider-man onesie that was glued to his mom. 

“THEN FUCK YOU TOO! I knew talking to your stubborn ass would be fucking pointless anyway!” 

“I’m sure she’s gonna have a fuckin’ field day when she hears about how you’re acting right now,” your sister said with a scoff, referencing you. 

“Fuckin’ tell her! Tell her how bad of a person I am, maybe it’ll fucking slap some sense into her,” she said viciously. Your sister dropped her purse and attempted to pounce on her best friend, before the mall security pulled up in a worn golf cart with a gruff hey! what’s the big idea?! 

Both girls had been breathing heavily, faces inches away from each other, before your sister let out a harsh, shaky sigh, picking up her purse from the mall bench. 

“You know she told me she was in love with you?” your sister said shakily. Ellie froze, eyes slightly softening, before she tensed up again, releasing a scoff. 

“Oh my fucking god, you gotta be kidding me,” she said as she rubbed her hands down her face in exasperation. Both girls stood in silence before Ellie snapped. 

“How many times do I have to say that it doesn’t… fucking matter. You’re both mad at me for calling her a fucking kid when she is a fucking kid! You really thought we would fucking… ride off into the sunset and be together, are you fucking serious?” 

“Nobody’s saying that! —“ 

“I'm gonna have to escort you two off the premises if you don’t cut it out right now— “ 

“Don’t fucking bother, we’re done talking,” Ellie spat nastily. “Go the fuck home.” 

The freckled girl quickly turned away and angrily stomped down the sidewalk and back into her work building. 

Your sister stood there stunned, eyes sweltering, before the—fucking annoying— mall cop addressed her, “Ma’am, do you need me to call someone to come get you”—

“No.” she gritted out harshly before walking back to her car just as pissed. 

The minute she slammed her car door shut, she broke. 

She sobbed and sobbed hard, hitting her steering wheel since she couldn't get her hands on the person she wanted, making her horn accidentally honk! which scared the fuck out of this old lady walking with her grocery bags. 

Your sister didn’t care. All she could do was sit there and pray that her ex-best friend would run up to her car, tear the door open, and hold her close like she used to when she was upset. 

But Ellie never came, and it made your sister wail harder. 

She'd lost one of the most important people in her life, and there was nothing she could do about it now. 

After your sister regained control of her trembling hands, she pulled out of her parking spot and sped home. 

You’d texted her earlier that one of your friends would drop you off because you were all getting ice cream, and she’d never been more grateful for someone having a car. 

She pulled into the driveway and just sat there, thinking. 

How the fuck did we get here, she thought. She wanted to light one up so fucking badly, but she would have to use her lighter that she left in her car for ‘emergencies’, as she called them. 

She took a deep breath before opening her car door and walking onto the porch, unlocking the front door and going inside. Of course the universe, once again, had to prove its hatred for her: one of the first pictures on the glass decorative table had been one of her, all her friends, and you at her thirteenth birthday, her and Ellie in the middle hugging each other as hard as their small frames would allow. 

It was silent. 

Nobody was home.

And she allowed herself to break down with her back pressed against the front door. 

You had a surprisingly good day! 

Despite the small hiccup with your friends at the lunch table, you all committed to your usual after-school routine: eating your weight in Ben and Jerry’s! Of course, all three of you ended up jumping on Kris for wasting six dollars on a pint of vanilla ice cream, to which she defended the ‘most versatile and rich flavor! cry about it!’

After Arya dropped you off with a catcall and a scream of see ya tomorrow, sexy! you, with hands full of half-empty pints of Cherry Sangria, walked inside to find your sister laid out on the couch in a fetal position with a throw blanket over her, snoring gently. Her poor back! 

You kicked your shoes off before jogging to the kitchen to put the pints into the freezer and head right back to the couch, gently coaxing your sister awake. 

However, the more you looked at her face, the more you saw the distress, the dried tears, the photograph from her thirteenth clutched in her arms. You immediately began to worry when she stayed asleep. 

You called out her name a little louder before she jolted awake, and as soon as she saw the concerned look on your face, she broke again. You barely had a chance to react before she sat up to throw her arms around you, sobbing into your neck. Your sister may have gotten emotional in front of you occasionally, but it was never like this. She could barely talk, and it scared you. 

“What happened? Where's Ellie? Is she okay?” you asked frantically. 

“S…she… I think she hates me now.” she barely whimpered out. 

“Okay, just try to breathe, tell me what happened,” you said as calmly as you could, even though your heart was racing in your chest. 

And she told you everything. 

You had never been angrier in your life. 

Your feelings were definitely hurt after your sister spilled the gory details of today, and you were sad after listening about what your sister had to endure alone, but you were so, so fucking heated. 

After getting your sister tucked into bed, you immediately ran back downstairs the minute you heard her snore to put your shoes on and stomp down the road to the dreaded house. Ellie could be mad all she wanted, but making your sister cry was enough to make you see red. 

The walk had been short and frantic and the second you reached the Miller porch; you banged on the door with all you had. Sorry, Joel. 

Much to your… you didn’t even know what you felt when you saw Ellie (she had on sleep shorts and her strong arms and tattoo were exposed and oh god, stay fucking focused) open the door, but she immediately started pressing you about your disturbance. 

“Dude what the fuck. Why are you knocking like you're a fucking cop?!” 

“Where’s your dad?” 

“…sleeping, why?” 

“Get the hell out here! Right now, c’mon!” you said as aggressively as you muster. You didn't want to walk that sweet man up with your fussing.

Ellie was obviously shocked at your tone, but she came onto the porch anyway with a steady glare in her eyes. You held your own. 

“Why did you yell at my sister today? Have you… fried all your fucking braincells or something? —

“First of fucking all, she yelled at me first, so don’t try it! Don’t try to act like you're so innocent and holier than thou either, this is just as much your fault as everyone else’s!” 

“How is this my fault?!” 

“Ask your sister! Or did she leave the ‘how obsessed you are with me’ part out?” 

Pull it together, hold it hold it— You took a shuddering, but deep, breath. 

“I’m not obsessed with you Ellie! Do you think I wanted any of this to happen, I couldn't help how I felt! It doesn’t excuse the fact that you took it out on her when all she ever did was care about you!” 

She scoffed before running an agitated palm down her face before she dropped an unexpected bomb on you. 

“I’m moving to Cali next month.” 

And your mouth and throat never felt so dry. 

“Don’t act like you care now. All you two wanted to do was blame me. It’s all my fault, right?” she pressed. You’d never felt so cornered. “Right?!” she repeated louder, making you flinch. 

“Don’t fucking worry, neither of you have to see me again after this.” 

“E…Ellie— “

“Fuck both of you honestly,” she said, and that was the final nail in your coffin. You could be buried right here if you wanted. Right at her feet where she crushed your heart. 

She bumped your shoulder before going back inside, slamming the front door shut so hard, wind blew past you. You hated how you cried harder at the familiar, formerly comforting scent of pine. 

You gasped out a breath… and gasped again and againandagain—

You couldn’t breathe or see, and your hand was grasping at your chest with the attempts of getting your heart to stop completely. You bent over to try to regain your breath, but it didn’t work, everything you learned was failing. 

You stumbled off the cursed porch and teetered back onto the sidewalk but oh god you couldn’t think—

An all too familiar voice gasped your name, making you cry and gasp harder. 

Dina. You heard her run up to you before putting a gentle hand on your back to help you straighten. 

“Oh my god, shhhhh, c’mon honey, let’s get you back home okay?” she sounded so worried, and you felt a wave of guilt wash over you. Why do you keep doing this to people you care about? 

Two weeks had passed since that night. 

After Dina brought you back to your home, taking the key from your pocket and unlocking the door, your sister and her made eye contact for the first time in months. 

Your sister had awoken to get some water to soothe her dry throat, grabbing her filled glass to sit on the couch and scroll through Twitter. 

She almost shat herself when the front doorknob started jiggling. She damn near shattered her filled glass on the coffee table in front of her, slamming it down to stand and grab the metal baseball bat that your mother always had near the front door. 

She hadn't moved fast enough, though, because the door shot open, revealing a pajama-clad Dina, guiding a panic-ridden you into the house. 

Your sister was shocked at first, but the second she saw your tear-soaked face gasping for air, she instantly went into protective mode, rushing over to help you with your breathing exercises. Dina hadn’t moved to speak, but she wasn’t leaving, either: she wanted to ensure that you came down safely. 

Neither Ellie, nor your sister, had told any of their friends about their turmoil, but they sensed something was off when they hadn’t seen the two of them in the same room together in a while. They never pressed out of respect for both girls, but to say that it hadn’t bothered them was simply untrue. 

Once you came down, your sister mumbled a quiet thank you, to Dina, to which she replied with a gentle of course, honey, thick brows pulled down in concern, her own eyes glossy. Your sister walked her out with a grateful nod after taking you to your room to lay down. 

This was the numbest you’d ever felt in your life. You hadn’t even cried since that night. You just…sat and looked. Looked and sat. 

You had been spending the first few days of your Spring Break in your room with headphones in your ears, Rondo ringing in your ears. Niccolò, you sly dog. Your friends asked you if you wanted to go camping with them and their families, but you politely declined. You couldn’t fathom moving or talking or breathing. So you sat. 

You had made some tough decisions, though. You were somewhat proud of yourself.

You, as well as your sister and then your mom (your sister hacked her Facebook, she didn’t notice), had blocked Ellie on everything.

No more grungy Instagram posts on your feeds, no more hotbox Snapchat stories, no more guitar-playing videos from IMessage. No more Ellie to plague your mind anymore. 

You were so numb. 

During early April, you and your sister drove by a U-Haul truck parked in front of the Miller residence after she picked you up from your violin lesson. Joel, Ellie, Dina, Jesse, and Cat were all outside on the lawn, goofing off as they carried boxes from the house and into the semi-loaded truck. You and your sister kept your gazes forward, eyes burning holes in the pavement under her car wheels. 

Although neither of you said it, Ellie hugging Joel while he lifted her off the sidewalk was the last memory you and your sister had of her. 

You were so, so numb. 

A/N: yall ab to be like omg noooo don’t do thiss😦😦 girl i did it🤭🤭 

praying i proofread enough please god like

but uhhhh yeah it might take a minute for the next part so pls be patient w me😗 but i’ve also been writing pretty quick so we’ll see ig but yeah writing sad shit 24/7 is hard but i love it so who cares :O anyway we’re about to get into the real tea next chap esp. w ellie :O i already started the outline and it’s already looking crazy just a warning😳 okay bye love uuuuu if you read this

pt. 3 here :D

#ellie x fem reader #ellie williams #ellie williams smut #ellie williams au #ellie williams angst #lesbian #ellie x you #ellie x reader #ellie the last of us #the last of us #ellie wiliams x reader #works 𖧧࣪ #black!oc #black!reader #ellie tlou #ellie williams x black!reader #ellie x blk!reader #ellie williams blurb #ellie williams x you #ellie williams x reader #scent of the pine. ̥*ೃ

[privateanxieties]

these final hours

Summary: When your job becomes too overwhelming, Frank decides enough is enough. A brief conversation reveals that things run deeper than he thought.

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His verdict comes down one Sunday evening, breaking you from the melancholic stupor you're well into traversing.

"Alright, that's it."

There's a part of you that wants to protest immediately. It's always the first one to make itself known, because it's the one that feels the most fear. No, you cannot just quit your job, no matter the toll it's taking on you. No matter how many people tell you it's making you fade. No matter how little you stand to gain from keeping it up. Because if you do, then - then -

"Don't look at me like that. I said that's enough. You ain't going tomorrow."

There is, however, another part of you: the one that could cry out in sheer relief just by being presented with an out.

You don't even know what it is, exactly. Everyone has to work who was not born fortunate. People have much harder jobs than you do, and they get paid even less. So many struggle to make ends meet. You have neither the long, nor the short straw. The work is completely average, though perhaps below your capabilities. Definitely below your studies - God knows you're not justifying any of those student loans, save for maybe lots of jobs requiring some kind of degree these days. No, you can't quite grasp where all this melancholia with regard to your job originates.

When you really look at your situation, you have to abstain from getting carried away by overwhelming disappointment over how unjustified all this grief seems. Things could be a hell of a lot worse. People go through things at work that render them suicidal, and here you are, on a Sunday night, sad that you have to wake up for your commute.

"Sweetheart, you gotta talk to me. Alright? Can't handle seein' you like this. Nothin's worth it, you hear me? Ain't a goddamn thing in this world worth what this shit does to you."

Frank's hand on your knee makes you immediately tense up. It's instantaneous sensory overload from a simple touch and you can't explain it. It bothers you that you can't explain because it's another thing that's wrong with you. Another overreaction to an inoffensive event.

Before you can move away or even just barely take a breath, the warmth of his skin disappears. You hate the relief that washes over you. Who feels better when someone they love stops being affectionate? You, apparently. Always against the grain.

"You know I'm not making you do anything. Yeah? Need to hear that you know that."

A nod is what you manage, but eye contact has yet to happen. You theorize that if it were to happen, if you were to see him in this moment of wild vulnerability, you'd probably want to run from him and all else in the world.

"You don't have shit to prove to anyone. You included. Can't try to beat yourself into a mold if that mold's just gonna take away all the best parts of you."

Your chest rattles, and you try to keep your breath from becoming a pained gasp.

"You know, just 'cause I read doesn't mean I'm good with words. That's all you. But I'll say whatever I gotta say to get through. I ain't losin' the woman I love to a fucking job. And I sure as shit ain't letting her believe she's gotta do what the world says she's gotta do. Break herself as many times as she has to just to get approval. Can't do shit with approval, I'll tell you that."

Against all odds, words tumble out of you like a knocked over pot of crayons. Sharpness everywhere.

"I fail at - at everything. I haven't done one thing right my whole life. I quit everything I start. Everything - Frank, I can't st-"

An involuntary sob rips straight from your heart.

"I can't stand myself. I'm tired of being tired. I'm tired of my days not belonging to me. I'm tired of getting nowhere. I'm tired of not having any good reason to be like this. Every day I have to know, I have to wake up and go to sleep and never stop knowing that I am the way that I am. And I wish something would just happen so I don't have to keep-"

It stops. The flow of words you've never said out loud, even to yourself, stops dead. The silence floods the remaining space without delay but it, too, does so fruitlessly.

Frank has heard enough. Enough to know exactly what you've sworn you would protect him from.

"Will you look at me?"

The softest plea. You don't think you've ever witnessed it.

"Need to see it. Yeah? I need to see it in your eyes, what you just said. And then we'll figure it out. But I need to know, sweetheart. Because if I gotta protect you from your own mind, Imma be honest with you - I need different gear."

It's a weak attempt at humor, but not completely unsuccessful. Mostly you just know that Frank means every word. And you know, as your gaze meets his at last, that the part of you that always resists outside help has lost some strength. You're not too far gone to be able to admit that your thoughts have been getting bleaker. It's a newness that scares even you, who's been down this path before. Somewhere, it seems a turn arrived that even you weren't aware you'd taken.

But Frank is nothing if not relentless. There is no road he won't track you down on and no path inaccessible to someone of his determination. You can see it in his eyes, along with the subtlest glimmer. You're making him worry, and when Frank worries, he plans. Ten, maybe twenty steps ahead - which is why he locks away your phone with his guns for the night. It's safe to say you won't have an alarm for tomorrow, and the relief that fact brings isn't unaccompanied by guilt. Frank soothes it with promises and his unique brand of realism - you'll get through everything together, as long as you're honest. No more hiding, no more detours.

You're not sure how good you'll be at it, and when you voice the thought to him, Frank doubles down as he pulls the covers back from the bed and you both slip under them.

"You know what being good at therapy looks like?"

You hum your curiosity.

"Not needing relief anymore. Promise to let me know when we get there. Yeah?"

You press your fragile promise into the skin of his cheek, tucking your head below his chin and wrapping as much of your body around him as possible and, for the first time in weeks, drifting off instead of fighting to sleep.

.

.

.

-fin-

A/N: just a short piece that I hope brings you some comfort if you need it.

#frank castle x reader #frank castle x you #the punisher x reader #frank castle fic #frank castle fanfiction

[atlasscrumpit]

F*ck me like you hate me

Miguel x Black Cat reader

(let's go for a cliche one for a change) 

You loved this endless game of cat and mouse...literally.

You ran along the roof tops before you were tackled to the ground. You looked up at the spiderman and smirked.

"Come on, it was just a few jewels." You say reaching up and running your finger along his jawline.

"God, you piss me off." He growled as he felt down your sides and grabbed the bag of jewels.

"You know, we would be good together. Us two in bed... Imagine that tension, ever had hate sex?" You said with a smirk as he groaned and shook his head.

"¿Por qué no me pagan por esto?" He grumbled before getting up off you.

(why don't they pay me for this?)

You got up and looked at him before moving closer.

You ran one of your claws down his chest, watching him shiver.

"Why don't we just try it...hmm?" You whispered as he looked down at you before gripping your wrist.

"Enough, Cat. You're a weak criminal and I am a hero, I would never stoop so low." He growled as you stepped away and fake pouted.

"Aww... I'm so sad." You whispered before holding up the bag of jewels you just stole back from him.

You quickly jumped off the building and disappeared.

"Dammit!"

--

You got back to your apartment and secured the jewels into a safe before collapsing onto your bed.

You wouldn't ever admit it, but you had felt a little rejected.

You'd always had a thing for spiderman, always wondering what he looked like under the suit.

"Well, if you won't sleep with me I'm still going to fucking touch myself to you." You grumbled angrily as you unzipped your suit.

--

You walked through the streets of Nueva York, a coffee in your hand as you stared down at your phone.

Suddenly you ran straight into someone, spilling your drink all over him.

"Fuck!" You swore, you were really looking forward to that coffee.

"Watch where you're going, asshole!" You shouted as you looked up at the tall man, your cheeks blushing.

"Says the one who was on their phone." He grumbled as your eyes widened, you knew that voice.

"Oh, for fuck sakes." You growled as he raised an eyebrow before a look of shock came over his face.

"It's you, isn't it." He muttered as you put on a fake smile.

"No clue what you're talking about, sir. I've never seen you in my life." You said, with fake innocence before he grabbed your wrist and pulled you into an alleyway, pinning you to the wall.

"Were you stalking me? What's your goal here?" He growled as you looked at you with annoyance.

"My goal was to go get a coffee and go home but then you ruined that." You growled as he stared at you, panting softly.

"We will never mention this... Right now we aren't them, we aren't criminals or villains." He grumbled backing away from you.

He held out his hand as you smirked and shook it.

"I'm Miguel." He said as you nodded.

"Y/N." You replied, holding his hand for a little longer.

"Just... Two people, that bumped into each other." You muttered, walking closer to him.

He looked down at you, his stone cold face only making you want him more.

"God, you're annoying." He whispered before pushing you back and pinning you against the wall and kissing you passionately.

You moaned and jumped up, wrapped your legs around his waist as you both made out.

So much tension and hate coming out at once.

"I'm not fucking in an alleyway. Take me back to your place." You demanded as he chuckled dryly.

"So you can fucking rob me? We'll go to yours." He said as you narrowed your eyes.

"So you can arrest me?" You growled back as you looked into each other's eyes.

"Hotel?" You both said in unison before laughing and grabbing his hand, running down the street like two horny teenagers.

--

You laid in a hotel bed completely naked with broken furniture all around you.

"So... That just happened." You muttered as he gave palmed.

"Why did I do that..." He grumbled as you chuckled.

"Don't fucking lie, that was the best you've ever had." You said making him chuckle and shake his head.

"I hate you." He said before you straddled him and kissed him again.

"Show me how much you hate me then."

#Miguel o'hara #Miguel o'hara x reader #Miguel #Miguel x Reader #Black Cat reader #Tension

[sturniolosugar]

INTERLINKED PT. 4

pairing y/n and chris sturniolo

summary: Y/n and Chris have been best friends for awhile. They end up becoming sexually involved with eachother. They value eachother so much but are both scared of the consequences of their actions, which leads their friendship to be stuck in a rocky place.

warnings: mentions of drugs, alcohol, intense emotions, arguing

Interlinked pt1, pt2, pt3

I lay down on my bed feeling my whole body numb. It’s been a couple days since I’ve seen the triplets. I think. I don’t know I kind of lost track of time. I feel the most calm I’ve felt in what felt like years. I’ve missed this feeling. I miss the feeling of my body being so numb to the point where I can’t even move. I haven’t left my bed. I made sure to at least put a piece of toast in my body everyday but that’s the most I’m able to eat. In a really fucked up way I’ve missed this. Probably way more than I should. The way all of my thoughts would disappear and the world would become quiet and peaceful as soon as I swallowed Xanax. The way my face and heart would go numb from just 1 singular pill. Ive been taking 1 a day for the past couple days. Probably gonna buy more soon. I haven’t even thought about Chris. I mean I have but to be honest, barely. I don’t even remember the last time I checked my phone.

-

The come down from Xanax always hits harder than the last one. I’ll go from being numb to feeling completely empty and hopeless. I hate it. I have tons of missed calls and messages from Nick and Matt but I only know that because I got on my phone to call my dealer. I just got back to my house from buying 10 of the pills. This should last me for a bit. I ignore the missed calls and messages from Nick and Matt and proceed to place one of the pills in my mouth and taking a drink of water. Already feeling better knowing the pill that entered my body gives me a feeling that nothing else could compare to.

-

It’s the next day. I guess I fell asleep without realizing it. I sigh feeling reality hit me. The Xanax has worn off and now my body feels completely weak. I feel deep sadness run through my veins as I see the morning sun shine through my blinds. I feel tears rise in my eyes. I can’t keep doing this to myself. I can’t ruin myself over someone who doesn’t give a fuck about me. Here we go again with the unbearable harsh fucking reality. I feel my heart clench as tears stream down my face. I can’t continue to live like this. Chris was everything to me. I loved him with my heart and soul unconditionally. I don’t think I’ve ever loved someone the way I love Chris. He’s all I think about when I’m sober which is why I continue to do what I do. He’s my first thought in the morning. The last thing I think about before I fall asleep. He’s constantly on my mind. And I’ve lost myself trying to love someone who doesn’t want anything to do with me anymore. I sit up from my bed and grab the little baggy of pills that are on my desk. I sit down on my bedroom floor and take out two pills from the baggy. Id rather have Xanax be the death of me than Chris. I put 2 pills in my mouth and swallow. I sit on my floor with my knees pulled into my chest with the baggy of pills next to me. Some time passes and I feel content again as the pills start to kick in. I sniffle feeling my nose run. I put my hands over my face, feeling wetness. I’ve been crying and haven’t even realized it. What the fuck is actually happening to me. I lay down on my floor losing strength in my body to keep me sitting up. I close my eyes and let the drugs take over. Feeling everything but nothing at once.

-

“Get up. Please get up y/n” I hear a man’s voice say as he shakes my body causing me to open my eyes. I must of blacked out and fell asleep. I blink trying to get my awareness back but struggle. “Your okay. It’s okay. Get up please” I hear the man’s voice plead. I rub my eyes feeling hazed and confused as I see Nick and Matt in my room towering over me as I’m still laying on my bedroom floor. “Everything’s gonna be okay. Sit up. Drink this” Nick says trying to help me sit up and handing me a bottle of water. “What’s going on. What are you guys doing here?” I say quietly before taking a drink of water. I feel like there’s fog in my brain. I can’t think straight. I don’t know if I’m dreaming or not. How did they even get into my room? And why? “We thought you were fucking dead y/n” Matt says in a concerned voice. The pills. Fuck. I instantly start looking around on the floor searching for the baggy of Xanax. “We already flushed them down the toilet” Nick says sighing. “What! What the fuck? No! Don’t fucking lie to me Nick! Your lying right?” I yell. He shakes his head no. “I’m not lying. We flushed them down the toilet y/n” he responds in a calm tone. “Nick. Why the fuck would you do that? Huh? Are you trying to ruin my fucking life. Your a fucking-” I start to yell but am interrupted by Nick. “Look at yourself right now! Look what the fuck your doing to yourself. Are you trying to fucking kill yourself? Huh? When is the last time you took a fucking shower? When’s the last time you ate an actual meal? Think about what the fuck your doing for a second” Nick yells back pointing his finger in my face.

Tears start to form in my eyes. “Fuck you. Fuck you both. Give me the pills back. Please I need them you don’t understand” I yell and beg starting to pace back in forth in my room running my fingers through my hair. “We’re sorry y/n but we’re not gonna sit here and let you destroy yourself. Calm down. We know your hurting. We know your in pain. We know. And we care. A lot. So much that we’ll sit here with you all day, all night just to make sure you don’t have to be alone. So much that we flushed down the poison your putting into your body. So much that you can scream and yell at us all you fucking want and tell us that you hate us and want us to die, it doesn’t matter we are still gonna be here for you. We love you y/n” Matt says. I stop pacing back and forth and let myself fall down to the ground. I cover my face with my hands and start to cry hysterically as I don’t want to face reality. “I just cant- I cant- I love you guys- I just cant” I try to let the words come out of my mouth but am struggling as I’m having a full on breakdown. Matt and Nick sit themselves on the floor next to me and proceed to rub my back. They just keep repeating that everything will be okay and that they love me. I cry and cry until no more tears were able to come out.

-

After a 3 hour long talk with Nick and Matt they talked me into taking a shower and staying the night at their house. They told me Chris isn’t gonna be there since he’s at a friends house. We pull into their driveway and get out of the vehicle, walking towards their front door. We get inside and I sit down in their living room on one of the couches. I wrap myself up in a blanket as Matt comes over and sits next to me. Nick walks into the kitchen grabbing Gatorade from the fridge before coming back to the living room and sitting next to me. “Im ordering us food. Is there anything you guys want in particular” Nick says. “I’m down for whatever” Matt responds. “Im not really hungry” I say. “Your gonna eat wether you want to or not. I will literally force feed you if I have to y/n. Your gonna eat, not eating isnt an option” Nick says. I sigh and roll my eyes. This fucker is such a pain in the ass. But I love him for it.

-

After eating so much food that I felt like my stomach was gonna explode I began to get really tired. We’re watching old Disney movies from our childhood on the living room tv. I start think about what Chris is doing and if he’s okay. I wonder if they told him what happened. My eyes become heavy and I fall asleep on the couch.

-

Chris’s POV:

I’m sitting on my friends couch chilling. I’m probably around 9 beers deep when I get a text message from the groupchat that has only me, Nick and Matt in it. “We need to talk to you about something very serious. Let us know when your on the way home” the text from Nick reads. I take a drink of the beer that’s in my hand before responding to the text. “What do you mean? Did something happen?” I reply back. “It’s about y/n. She was on her bedroom floor passed out when we found her. I’ll give you a hint. Xanax” Nick replies. As soon as I read the text I swear my heart beat stopped for a couple seconds. “Wtf do you mean? Is she okay? What happened? Where is she?” I instantly texted back. “She fell asleep on the couch in the living room. We’re not letting her leave our sight. So when you come home be quiet and just go to your room. It’s best if she doesn’t see you right now with the condition she’s in” Matt texted in the groupchat. I immediately tell my friend to drive me home. So many emotions spike in my body on the car ride to my house. I stare out the window trying to keep my breath steady. This is because of me. This is my fault.

We arrive at my house and I tell my friend goodbye before getting out of his car and walking towards my front door. I stumble while walking, trying to keep my balance. I open the door and walk straight into my living room seeing y/n wrapped up in a blanket sleeping. Tears fill my eyes instantly. Matt and Nick stand up immediately and walk towards me. “Its because of me isn’t it” I say feeling tears run down my face. Matt and Nick grab onto my shoulders helping me keep my balance. “Shhh it’s okay. It’s okay. Let’s go. Your okay. She’s okay.” Nick says rubbing my back.

“It’s my fault” I respond feeling my chest get tight while tears continue to stream down my face. “Chris let’s go. Your okay. We’ll talk about it tomorrow.” Matt says pulling my arm leading me towards my bedroom. “No. Stop. I need to talk to her. I need her. Let me talk to her” I say while continuing to cry. Matt and Nick ignore me and just continue to walk me to my room. We get inside my room and I sit down on my bed letting tears pour out of my eyes. “Don’t blame yourself. Everything’s gonna be okay” Nick says stepping closer to me and places his hand on my back before rubbing it. “I need her. I need her” I say standing up and walking towards my bedroom door, trying to go back to the living room to talk to y/n. Matt pulls me back and sits me back down on my bed. “Your drunk. Talk to her tomorrow” Matt says. I stand back up and push Matt out of my way “No I need her right now” I say trying to make my way out to the living room again. Nick pulls me by my shirt “Chris. No. Not right now. Go to sleep dude. She’ll be here in the morning she’s not going anywhere” he says. I push Nick making him stumble backwards. My sadness quickly turns into anger. I start to punch my wall. Over and over. Repeatedly, until Nick and Matt grab me and sit me back down on my bed.

“Chris calm down. Everything’s okay please calm down” Matt says. “Please wait to talk to her until the morning. Please get some sleep.” Nick says. I shake my head and put my hands over my face. She need to know that I love her. And that I always have. And always will. I need her to know that everyday that has gone by of us not texting, calling, hanging out I’ve been losing my mind. I’ve been losing myself. And I feel so lost without her. Being without her makes me physically sick. I can’t sleep. I can’t eat. I can’t think. I’ve been trying to drown down my emotions with alcohol. It never works it only makes them more intense. She’s the only thing that helps me. I would choose her in every lifetime. Memories come in waves, and tonight I’m drowning, as I think about all the times we had together. I love her so much that it physically hurts.

#chris sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #matt sturniolo #sturniolo #sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo smutt #sturniolo triplets #sturniolo x reader #nick sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #matthew sturniolo #sturniolo smut #smut #spotify #triplets #tiktok #fanfic #fandom

[isa-ghost]

amfmn missa.. p please.. please mother … feed us

I'M BEING ENABLED PPOVERHEAT

He's an actual grim reaper. That's where he's disappeared to so often in canon, reaper duties. It's a very demanding job, you know.

Doesn't stop him from feeling terrible about being gone so often though. He misses his husband and kids and hates how often he's out of the loop :(

Fr though Phil and the kids make him so so happy after spending countless hours working such a sad job. It's also partially why he sings and makes art. That brand of fun is catharsis for the soul.

He has all his canon weapons but I ALSO gave him a reaper deathscythe. And boy is he gonna use it. Fucking AWOOGA MissaSinfonia when he's angry.

Btw as a reaper he can FEEL souls. He can see their power, their condition, feel the surface level emotions and personality of its owner. This will come in handy later in the fic. ;)

As per the post I made asking for Missa appreciation so I can characterize him properly: He's undyingly loyal, he fights hard and loves even harder, he's protective, silly, and goddamn can he flirt.

All his wet cat behavior is a result of getting too overwhelmed by The Horrors. He's seen A Lot as a reaper. But somehow Quesadilla Island and all its... Everything. Always manage to show him a new brand of What The Fuck he's never even imagined before. Hence all his screaming and weeping when he's caught up on what he's missed. Like how tf else is he supposed to react??

Somewhat attached to that, he and Phil rlly were a match made in Federation Heaven bc they both have issues with self-doubt despite being insanely skilled and sharp-witted. Missa is better abt it than Phil though. His only acts up when he messes up a lot or just. Doesn't have a clue how to handle a situation where it's dire that he does. It's more of an insecurity about being unprepared and failing his loved ones than it is a doubt he has skill. He KNOWS he does, he hates when it's not enough. That's how he differs from Phil, who thinks he has none at all.

Btw when you fuck with the people he's protective over, he gets PISSED. We're getting a LOT of pissed off Missa in AMFMN <3 Ofc there'll be a lot of reaper tears too, his husband is suffering and there's little he can do about it. :( But ohohoho when the sad turns into rage. BARK WOOF. Eventually he decides EK is catching these hands and scythe.

He also shakes hands with his husband on being a self-sacrificing little shit. And. Yeah this is gonna happen later in the fic. (He's not dying dw dw)

You have no idea how excited I am that I basically get to build his dynamics with Fit, Etoiles, and Bagi from scratch. I'm so hyped. People are welcome to reply with this with any crumbs we have of their dynamics in canon but afaik they've rarely interacted outside of very minor moments, so AMFMN will largely be a sandbox for me to establish what I THINK they'd be like. Which in my fic plan so far, is largely taking each character's personality and applying how I think they'd react to a situation, and how that would look when two of them are interacting in that situation. Ex: at one point Etoiles has to comfort Missa bc he's just having a ROUGH time with this saving Phil stuff. But Etoiles is NOT a comfort guy. So he does his Etoiles thing: hearing Missa out while also cracking his usual brand of jokes in an attempt to lighten the mood.

I also have a plot point planned with him and Bagi when shit is hitting the fan the hardest and OUUGHHH. That self-sacrificing shit am I right.

God I'm being so mean to him specifically in AMFMN though. Ender King is a sack of shit, he knows exactly who to harass most using Phil's body >:/

See in my AMFMN Fitza headcanons, I said they're each other's confidants. Which IS true. However, no one in the fic gets the honor of Phil FINALLY communicating with someone about his issues other than his husband. Missa is the person he caves and confesses things to. Missa gets the HC Deity lore and what's been happening to him lately. This is actually what Chapter 3 is :D

Also I am so sorry but I'm sliding a Missa Romantic Love Confession attempt into the fic and it gets interrupted by The Horrors. But yeah Missa is romantically in love with Phil, he just respects that Phil sees things platonically. He still wants to communicate his feelings though.

#qsmp #qsmp pissa #pissa #qsmp philza #qsmp missa #AMFMN things #deathduo #qsmp deathduo

[splishsplashyouropinionistrash]

hello hello my loves, it's been a while since I've done a fic rec list and I'm feeling *inspired*

my qualifications are that i'm a loser and have read over a thousand fics so far in 2023

Was Sorta Hopin' That You'd Stay by jaydreamz (8/8)

Minyard Josten rivalry but they actually hate each other. They have a prank war. It's beautiful.

Eighteen Wheels And Three Beating Hearts by Autumnalpalmetto, IKnowWhoYouAre_Damianos (21/21)

Small town AU, Neil is a trucker with a son and Andrew runs a diner. So many found family feels, was giggling like a child the whole time. Connor owns my heart.

Die Free Or Die A Failure by Mickey_99 (54/54)

This one. This one!!! It's so good. Like, so good. It's a Raven!Neil fic, where Neil escapes the Nest and joins Kevin at PSU. It's super dark at times, but so lovely? The found family in this one is just *chefs kiss*

I Guess This Is Where I Say Goodbye by Artificiosus (2/2)

Listen y'all. I bawled like a baby reading this one. Full on ugly sobbing. It was amazing. It's MCD, so be careful. Neil gets in a car crash and calls Andrew, but Andrew doesn't pick up. The whole fic is Neil's voicemail and Andrew's reaction. It's so beautiful and so so sad.

Here And Where You Are by pentagrammed (1/1)

This one!!! It's almost sort-of MCD? But not actually. Read it, I'm begging. There's not much I can say about it without spoilers, so just... read it.

Dating & Other Disasters by lolainslackss, moonix (12/12)

Okok but this one. It's fake dating, the Foxes all go to a fine arts school. Neil is an actor and Andrew is a writer. It's so good !!! Andrew's poem lives rent-free in my head.

Murder Boyfriends by justadreamfox (3/3)

Heathers AU!!! It's beautiful, I'm in love with it. Go forth and read.

Better Than A Night Light by Ominous (1/1)

Literally 7k of fluff. Neil watches one of those alien horror movies and gets scared by it (but Drew is there to help, ofc)

Small Angry Gardeners by SensationalSunburst (8 part series)

Neil and Andrew's adventures in homeowning, gardening, meeting neighbors, owning animals, and other domestic bullshit. So fluffy, so sweet, so fun. Simply adore.

Heimkehr Means Homecoming by This_Witch_Writes (2 part series)

Cass is good! Andrew gets a mom! Family !!!! Literally so good, I cried a lot.

What Does 'Viral' Mean? by darkbluebox (1/1)

Kevin is a sports commentator after retirement, and Neil joins him for a game. So much bickering. Fucking hilarious

In Reel And Rout by maydaykevin (10/10)

Fantasy pirates AU. Vaguely Pirates of the Caribbean? So good though, oh my god. Andrew has water powers and shit. Neil is a pirate captain. I'm in love.

The Exy Team Is Nuts: A Survival Guide For The Uninitiated by Cute Negativity Cloud (Ofelia) (1/1)

The Foxes from the perspective of the other sports team. They have a whiteboard with rules for how to deal with them without being murdered/beaten up/insulted to death. It's fucking hilarious

Kill My Mind (Raise My Body Back To Life) by r3mus (1/1)

Ghostface!Andriel. They're murder boyfriends who kill bad people. It was such a fun read tbh

Queer Eye For The Demi Guy by neilwrites (13/13)

Neil goes on Queer Eye. The Monsters + Allison are the fab 5. it's wonderful, I love it.

Baby I'll Bleed You Dry by priorwalter (2 part series)

The Twilight AU this fandom desperately needed. In which Andrew is Edward, Neil is Bella, and many jokes are made. I spend a solid half an hour cackling

The Gaslights Burn Brightly by This_Witch_Writes (8/8)

Okok so Andrew and Neil were childhood friends, but Neil disappears one day and everyone convinces Andrew that he never existed at all. Eight years later, they meet again at PSU. It was so. Amazing. I love this author sm

A Dad By Any Other Name by SensationalSunburst (2/2)

Coach Wymack being a dad for 5k. That's it. That's the fic. (5+1 Wymack being a dad)

Called It Home by jingerhead (1/1)

Neil is spiderman. Spoilers for No Way Home. Guys it's so good !!

What We Ask by constellationqueen (40/40)

Neil gets hurt. Andrew helps him. SUUUUPER dark guys, like. Super dark. MCD too, so watch out. Really sad but so so beautiful, I sobbed so violently my sibling thought someone had died

The Suit Universe by marie_pothos (17 part series)

Ohhhhhh my god THIS ONE!!! My all time fave series. It's a popstar AU, but Neil is basically Taylor Swift. It's all based off of Taylor Swift songs. Absolute must read, even if you don't like TS that much. It's so beautiful, and funny, and so so sweet, and just- I could go on forever about this one.

Shake My Tomb by exactly13percent_OLD (hymbeaux) (10/10)

Butcher!Neil (sorta). kevin goes to Neil for protection from Riko, so neil goes to PSU. So beautifully written, I just re-read it today. It's so good guys.

Take To The Wing by iceEckos12 (20/20)

Neil signs the contract during his Christmas at Evermore. Surprisingly fluffy for a Nest fic, and there are some absolutely wonderful OCs. I would die for Joshua.

Something In Return by reaching_my_summit (10/10)

Neil and Andrew go to Disney World. That's the whole fic. Tooth-rotting fluff, it's amazing

Funky Happenings With The Fox Family by dobbypussypopper (27/27)

THE Fox group chat fic. It's fucking hilarious, I laughed so hard I started crying.

The Marks We Make by Fortheloveofexy (11/11)

Soulmate AU. Guys, this fic. It's one of my favorites. I reread it all the time. It's so good, and so sweet, and just UGH. I adore it so much.

Falling. by Idnis (16/16)

Art School AU where Andrew is a photographer and Neil is a painter. It's so poetic and beautiful, I'm begging you to read it.

Too Gay To Function by gluupor (1/1)

Mean Girls fusion. Andrew is Regina George. Enough said.

And there you go! This is a very very small fraction of the fics I've read this year, so obviously I have more if anyone's interested.

Go forth and read !

#aftg #tfc #all for the game #the foxhole court #andreil #aftg fanfic #aftg fic #aftg fic recs #splishsplash originals #splishsplash recs

[yatorihell]

Noragami Chapter 109 Thoughts and Reaction

First off a massive thank you to @fast-moon for years of dedicated service to the fandom and answering our questions. You have been the pillar of the community from the moment you picked up the series.

Now onto my (second) read reaction and thoughts

Seeing Yuka and she's aged more and she's looking at the sakura tree thinking of her brother just like Yato told Yukine she would I'm so sad Adachitoka you make me so sad

WHO LEFT THE FLOWERS could it have been Yato? Could it have been Yuka unwittingly placing them to remember her brother not knowing it's actually Haruki's grave? I'm so sad

Oh when it said another new year and we're at the hospital I'm so sad and then it turns out it's been many years!!!!!

The Capyper and star sticker as an earring? Remnants of attachment to Yato? Earring like Kazuma? Thank you Doctor Iki? Killing myself

Oh I really expected her diary to show up and then it does but Nora has it I'm so sad

The fact Hiyori's whole memory of that year is fuzzy so she doesn't remember Capyperland, and probably her grandma's death and the hospital arc and so many other bits

CPR SO INTENSE IT CRACKED HER RIBS

Oh she's touching her lips as she wonders who saved her I'm so fucking miserable Adachitoka you make me so sad are you happy

Jumpscared by hot Fujisaki I forgive you <3

Fujisaki gained control of his body and immediately fixed those bangs hejdjj

Remnants of Father's yearning to see Kaya again sorry babe she wasn't your girl maybe you'll find one that looks like her

Coo phone attack jdjdjnd that was so funny I can't believe he actually came back I was reaching with that prediction

My god I know it's not Father and he's cute now but I still hurled when he asked her out

Rip Masaomi's hairline, they say unproblematic men age better, so what crimes did you commit

Also rip Mr Iki you've aged so much it's probably the stress, but he's still got his medical license!!!!!!

Also I've been told it's been 8/9 years since that day with her being an intern now, it makes you wonder if Masaomi started a family

I MISS SOMEONE BUT WHO?

I actually couldn't believe how many of the bingo card predictions were coming true when I got to the sakura party jsjdnjf we truly manifested this ending

Little Ebisu growing up you will live forever you <3

Takemika and Kiun showing up like two dads with their children and pet bird jdjbdjfk

Takemika reassuring Shinatsuhiko that no one's laughing about their reincarnation vs Takemika bullying Ebisu in Heaven about killing him I hate growth I hate it (affectionate)

Followed by Takemika owning the fact that he himself has reincarnated when it was kept secret for so long I'm so sad

Oh Adachitoka you're so sick faking us out with a toast to Yato like he's dead followed by Bishamon once again beating the shit out of Yato at a sakura party

It's so funny Yato wouldn't release Kazuma but tbf it's handy if he ever needs to use him again

I wonder if Kazuma is treated differently now that he's a stray, or if he could suppress the name physically (it would only show if he got called like Nora did)

This Houki shinki that's a pegleg gun???? Rendered us bamboozled double checking Bishamon didn't lose a leg

Yato please find Yukine some clothes that fit????? Or maybe they're loose so they don't tear when he transforms and they can go back for them idk I don't like this look

Yato disappearing into the ground and becoming known as Teke-Teke he is the living meme hejdjb

I'm so sad Yukine has nightmares and turns into ayakashi form every night and Yato's wearing a Capyper jumper and he's hugging him

I did wonder if Hiyori's diary was on the shelf with the shrine, which begs the question when did Yato go to retrieve the shrine???? I'm so sad he would've seen that she fixed it and maybe it's a but scuffed from where it was dropped but it's his

Yato following Hiyori to keep her safe and he didn't want to cut ties I'm so sad the cord problem was enough to divorce her from the far shore without severing them altogether

I JUST WANT TO WATCH OVER HER AS SHE GROWS I'm so fucking miserable

Nora comforted by the fact Hiyori believes she had a name when she was in the womb? Devastated how did we never think of that

Interesting that the Yuuki name remains even after the word was destroyed, but it means that Yukine can't sting Yato so silver linings

Yato still doing his regular job of slaying and answering small prayers

Cherry blossoms being like snow I'm so fucking emo

THE NIGHT HAS A SCENT

YATO'S SHADOW IN THE TREE

MY. MOUTH. REMEMBERS!!!!!!

Oh I'm so fucking miserable I'm so fucking sad I hate this manga she remembered him all on her own after all this time and she's a doctor and everyone's safe I'm so depressed we're gunna celebrate April 2nd we need to work out what year it will be when she remembers

The final art????? Of all of them happy???? Hiyori is a doctor???????? Nora is with them??? Smiling??????? I'm ending it

It's been such a ride for these last 9 years since I picked up the anime and then demolished the manga right in time for season two. I've made friends and I've enjoyed building this blog into something that people used for their Noragami content. In the words of the rats this truly was my noragami

#noragami #yato #yatori #noragami aragoto #yukine #hiyori #bishamon #kazubisha #kazuma #goodbyenoragami

[edensrose]

˚◞❀˳ a proper farewell

god that title sounds dramatic as fuck so let me just clear things up immediately: no, I'm not leaving tumblr, I will still be very manageable to reach and interact. what I am drifting away from is the tolkien fandom — and since this place, despite my hardships, has meant so much to me - I decided to give it a proper little farewell, to the people who made everything count. along with a little explanation for my decision while shedding light on my experience. ( I'll try to be brief )

I joined the tolkien fandom while writing for thranduil, it's here I gained my following in the fanbase and things went quite smoothly. however, upon beginning to write for mairon, then melkor and then later the ainur — I saw an increase in hate anons. something I have experienced before, natural of a multi fandom blog, but never to this degree. initially I assumed it was because I was simply growing larger as a blog, and perhaps that is the reason — but from what I noticed, I was battling with a bunch of chronically online people who simply could not handle my love for. . . "problematic characters"

I never understood it, really. I never saw other ainur blogs getting the hate I did - I guess I'll truly never know. had I done something? was my writing just not good enough? were my vibes off? over the time I've been called things like two faced, fake, a romanticiser of abuse, lazy for not filing out requests, been told I shouldn't write reader inserts, told to kms and other graphic incidents ( such as people sending death threats and actual gore to my inbox ). this branched from burner accounts to anons, and I could just never understand why me. a quick gander at the #clownon tag and you'll find some of the instances in which I've been harassed.

I genuinely thought my writing was the issue.

which demotivated me from writing for quite some time. could I have turned anon off? sure, but that would have meant that the anons I'd frequently interact with would most likely not come around anymore. it meant a decline in requests, it meant just a crippling factor to my blog in general, so I chose to ignore. but it got hard to eventually. I was bullied for liking a god with big wings just because for crying out loud.

I've tried to fake being okay. fake being strong and unwavering about the hate, but I just couldn't anymore. and that's okay.

it wasn't all tears and hardships though. I have made very good friends through the tolkien fandom, many of which I consider close. from @bluezenzennie to @kiatheinsomniac — @a-contemplation-upon-flowers , @cilil , @someoneinthestars and so so many more. it'd take me forever to tag and honestly my heart is squeezing so much listing these few down already. they made fandom fun, whether it was our silly little play fights or collabs or you name it. those of you that have spent time to tell me about your day on anon or send in the nicest of things. I haven't forgotten them, and I cherish them, but it's time for me to go

am I sad? fucking of course. a part of me found so much comfort here and in these characters. I've spent hours on end developing lore for aus or designing aesthetics for writing — just writing and pumping out content or blogs, everything and anything I could do. and while I don't regret those times - the way I've been treated in response hurts. which is why I've made this decision.

I'm growing as a person too. I'm writing a book now, I've got an oc blog to promote that book that I'm working hard on ( @valentine-cafe ) , things are looking good. does this mean I'm just gonna disappear? of course not. I plan on staying around, getting back into request writing ( for other fandoms ) and still interacting and supporting my tolkien moots and friends. will I be writing or creating content for tolkien? probably not. at least not in the foreseeable future. the characters I once loved and cherished have now been ruined for me. I've been made to feel embarrassed for loving manwe and namo to the degree that I have, and I don't see myself being able to write for ainur without thinking of all the shit I've gotten for doing so.

regardless, I'll be here still. and while I might not be your local valarfucker anymore, I hope to be your rose still 🩷 thank you so much for two and a half years, I love you all dearly

#˚◞❀˳ 𝒔𝒖𝒈𝒂𝒓 '𝒏 𝒔𝒑𝒊𝒄𝒆 ﹕ psa ꒱ ₊˚⊹ #actually cryinh my eyes out ahhh #tolkien

[thedaredevilsgirl]

Just Not Enough For You-Part 1

Warning: friends with benefits, angst (reader is insecure about her appearance and personality, jealous, comparison, drinking) this was inspired by the song Nada Contra by Clarissa (it's a Brazilian song, I know that most here speak English, but I still recommend listening to it, it's very good).

A/N: To be honest this idea seemed better in my head and didn't come out exactly as I wanted, but I still liked the final result so I decided to post it. Part two will probably be posted early next week. Hope you like it💗

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Your mind kept repeating the word as you went outside the Hard Deck with the excuse of getting some air, not that it was a lie, it was actually quite hard to breathe in the same environment as Jake and the miss perfect.

Of course you wanted him to be happy, that's why you broke the deal with Jake, to set him free so that he could find someone better to love, someone as perfect as he was, someone who certainly wasn't you.

Why were you so sad? It was all your fault, he was only with her because you let him go, so why are you so sad?

"I think this better be the last time" you say picking your clothes up quickly from the floor.

  "Wait, what?" Jake asked so confused, he thought everything was going so well, and it was true "I thought you liked this, what about our deal?"

   The damn deal, friends with benefits, how to continue with the deal when you had broken the biggest rule of it, no falling in love, just fuck, get something out of your system and enough is enough. Jake made it very clear he wasn't after a relationship, and you thought the same until that stupid smile captured your heart and you realized you were totally in love with him.

   "I like it, but we can't go through with it."

   "Why?" he asked still so confused as he watched you put on your clothes instead of his shirt and lay down to sleep next to him like you always did on the nights you had sex (and even on the ones you did nothing).

  "I...I just think that we should be sleeping with other people, I mean of course we should, meeting new people and not getting stuck in this bullshit" you say as if it doesn't hurt.

  "Are you sure this is what you want?"

  "Yes, I'm sure" big liar.

  You start to retreat from the room, ready to leave when you hear him calling your name, almost like a broken whisper.

   "We're still friends, right?" you could swear you saw pain flash through his eyes, but it should be something from your imagination.

   "Yes, friends" you smile and hope he doesn't realize it's fake, and finally walk away.

   This couldn't go on, not when you knew he didn't want anything serious, not with you, not when he can get something better, it was better to end it now and hope the pain was less.

But wasn't, was tearful.

It didn't even take a month before there was another girl in your place, the beautiful and gorgeous Jude, they were already on their third date and God she was pretty and a wonderful person which only made it even worse.

  You didn't want to compare yourself, but it was impossible to stop the negative thoughts about yourself when she was around.

  That's why you left the bar, not being able to take it anymore but still unable to avoid watching them from the window outside.

  You see Jake put his arm around her shoulders and whisper something in her ear that makes she laugh.

Why did they have to look so perfect together?

   The smile on his face slowly disappears as his gaze crosses yours on the other side of the window.

  "Shit" you say to yourself as you look away and take a long sip of your drink trying to erase the shame of being caught in the act.

  "Are you feeling okay?" Jake asks a few minutes later standing next to you.

   "Yeah, I just needed to take a breather, the bar seemed pretty crowded tonight" was a great excuse, Jake knew you hated crowds.

  The two of you stare at each other for a long minute, not knowing how to continue that conversation, drowning in those unspoken words and undisclosed feelings.

  "You look beautiful" he finally says and he sounded so sincere.

   You wondered if he noticed that that was his favorite dress, the same one he would always gently pull off your body, the one he said made you look like an angel.

  "My beautiful angel" was what he said before he kissed you for the first time that night on the beach.

"my angel" whispered between your thighs before finally making you his, Just his.

The silence hangs again, he couldn't look away, but he quickly shakes his head, drawing from it whatever thought was making him confused at that moment.

  "Well, I have to go, I promised to take Jude home so..." He leaves a soft kiss on your forehead.

   "Okay," is all you can say without bursting into tears.

   "I...take care and be well okay?"

  You nod and watch him leave with Jude at his side.

   It was their third date, you knew they would probably be doing more than kissing that night, the mere thought of him touching her made your stomach churn, giving her the pleasure that only a few weeks ago he was giving only to you.

  You get back inside the bar as quickly as possible.

  "Penny" you catch the attention of the woman behind the counter "Give me a glass of the strongest drink you have."

  "Are you sure dear?"

  "Yes, please."

  "Are you okay?" Phoenix asks sitting down next to you already knowing everything that had happened to you and Hangman.

  "Fine" you say before turning the entire shot over in one go once Penny has placed it on the counter "Everything is wonderfully fine, one more shot please."

━─┈✩☽🌑☾✩┈─━

Hello" Jake speaks with his voice still hoarse from sleep.

"Bangman" he hears your inebriated voice on the other end of the line and it is enough for him to wake up automatically getting worried about you "My favorite pilot, my Jake" you give a short chuckle.

"Are you okay? Where are you?" he quickly gets out of bed ready to pick you up no matter where you are.

"My Jake...but you're not mine are you? And it's all my fault" by the tone of your voice you make it clear that you were crying.

"Honey what are you talking about? Please tell me where you are."

"It's all my fault" you repeat "Jude is beautiful, you really did well to choose her, the two of you are perfect together, it even annoys me."

"I... What's going on angel, please, I'm getting worried" Jake says.

"Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against her, the truth is I wish I was in her place, the truth is I am dying of jealousy here" you laugh again, but there was no amusement there, just pain "I know I was the one who ended our arrangement, but the truth is I couldn't go on, I couldn't because I love you, I love you so much it hurts, I ended it all because I knew you would never love me back, why would you love me? I can spend hours here talking about all your qualities and I'm just me, you can have models, beautiful and funny girls, and I know I'm good enough to be a casual fuck but never good enough to be a girlfriend, I'm easy to forget, easy to replace, it wouldn't be any different this time right, that's why I let you go" Jake only realizes he was crying now, with the excruciating pain of hearing the woman he love talking so badly about herself.

"Angel, please listen to me, this is not true, none of this is..."

"My God, what are you doing? No calling guys when you're drunk" he hears Phoenix's voice on the other end of the line before can continue speaking "Jake, I'm sorry about that" he is a little more relieved to know you had someone with you.

"Natasha, where are you guys? I'm going to go get her right now."

"Nat, give me back my phone, I need to tell Jakey that I love him even if I am insufficient to him" you speak in the background.

"We are at The Hard Deck, I can take care of her, but Jake...she needs you."

#jake 'hangman' seresin fluff #jake seresin fluff #hangman fluff #jake hangman seresin angst #jake seresin angst #hangman angst #jake hangman seresin smut #jake seresin smut #hangman smut #jake seresin x you #jake seresin x reader #hangman x you #jake hangman x reader