#i just had a dream I kissed general kirigan AND alina

[thewriterthatghostedyou]

Shadows and Scars

Chapter 16

Thank you so much for being patient with me! That big test that I was worried about? I passed! I’m so happy that it’s done with and plan on writing more again.

There are no major warnings for this chapter, but we are getting some new characters introduced. 👀

Banner made by maysdigitalarts

Your dreams took a different shape that night. Instead of your journeys across the fold they featured him. Aleksander, General Kirigan, the Darkling, the Black Heretic. They were all the same.

When you had dreamed of him before, they had been hopeful and joyful, but now that you saw him for what he really was, they reflected him. The real him. The whole night, you were plagued with volcra and Aleksander’s confession. You watched again and again as Anya got swept off of the ground by the volcra, her screams haunted you as you felt Aleksander’s arms wrapped around you, stopping you from saving your friend.

You woke up that morning to feel those same arms still wrapped around you. “Good morning my love.” He whispered into the crook of your neck. “As nice as this is, we need to get up.”

You said nothing.

“We have a lot to do today dear.”

You still said nothing.

“You’re aware that me telling you is just a formality?” He ran his hand up your hip.

“Can’t I stay here?” You asked numbly.

He pushed himself up onto his elbow and studied you carefully. “Fine. But just for today. Tomorrow you will officially be inducted to my guard.” You felt your body turn on its own to look at him.

“I’ll be in the other room attending to business.” He said, getting up and donning his kefta. When we finished getting ready, he walked back over to you and pressed a soft kiss to your temple.

You stayed perfectly still as he left the room and let your mind drift.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Aleksander’s POV

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As he walked out of his room and over to his desk, Aleksander thought about you. He hadn’t meant for his confession to sound as cruel as it had come out, but of course you had to ignore his well crafted plans and force his hand. To be truthful, the last few days without you had been more painful than he’d thought. Not even his attempts to woo Alina were enough to satisfy him and his mind was constantly circling back to you.

He despised how happy you were without him while he was miserable without you. He could feel your emotions fall into a negative slump the day he went riding with Alina, but thought nothing of it until you stopped coming to see him.

He sat down at his desk with a sigh and looked to the door that separated the war room from his chambers. It had surprised him how your emotions had swirled around inside of him, eventually feeling as much a part of himself as his abilities were.

He tried not to dwell on your sorrow as Feydor came in.

“General, you wanted to see me sir?” He asked, standing at attention.

“Yes, Feydor.” He said, leaning back in his chair lazily. “Tell me, have you worked with a heartrender by the name of Nina Zenik?”

Feydor smiled before answering. “Once, yes. She’s one of the best in the second army.”

“Quite.” Aleks said, occasionally looking at a paper from his desk. “Nina’s been on a priority mission for me and she’s not reported in. If she’s alive, she may need our help.” He looked pointedly at Feydor.

“Knowing Nina, sir, she’s very much alive.” Feydor said confidently.

“I don’t need your conjecture, Feydor.” Aleks said gruffly. It was bad enough that he’d have to start all over with you, but now his best spy was missing? He needed to know the situation in Novokribirsk in order to see how many grisha were still being snatched by the Fjerdans. “I need you to find her for me.”

Feydor gave a quick nod, and Aleks dismissed him with a wave of his hand. “I’ll get right on it moi sovreignyi.”

When he left the room, Aleks gave a tired sigh and started working on the week’s military movements. He shuffled through multiple stacks of paper on his desk before touching something leathery and smooth. His curiosity piqued, he fished it out and saw that it was your journal. He had forgotten that he had one of the maids bring it here for you.

If he was someone else, he probably wouldn’t have looked inside, but he had already crossed too many lines for this small one to matter. He slowly flipped through your notes on the body and admired your drawings, stopping to smile triumphantly at a few sketches of himself even showing up more than once. Perhaps he could salvage his slip with you after all.

His hand froze at one of your pages and he blinked in surprise as Morozova’s stag stared back at him. The lines were darker and more blended then your usual style, and Aleksander realized that you didn’t draw this. He felt a flame being lit in his head as he started to desperately look through the papers on his desk again.

He chuckled happily as he had found what he was looking for. When he had found out that the sun summoner was a mapmaker, he had gone to great lengths in order to obtain one of her maps. Sure enough, the style of the art matched perfectly. Alina had drawn the stag. And now he had a picture he could send out so that he could find it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kaz’s POV

~~~~~~~~~~~~

The map of the Little Palace hit the table with a loud thump as the three unfurled it and studied the layout.

Jesper put his drink down in the corner of the paper, holding it open as the trio studied it for any weak points.

“What about…” Jesper started, pointing to the far right wing.

Inej sighed. “No, look.” She gestured to the guard tower that would spot them immediately.

“Oh.”

“What about this hallway?” She asked, sliding her finger towards the far left of the paper.

“No go. See? Guard tower.” Jesper said slowly, putting his hands on his hips.

Kaz stayed quiet as he studied the map as well, listening to his two partners brainstorm a way in.

“There’s no way in.” Inej said with a shake of her head.

Kaz noticed that she looked at him, waiting for his next move. “And no way out.”

His mind started to whirl around, thinking of how he could sneak himself, Inej, Jesper, AND the conductor inside the impenetrable fortress. Two people could be possible, especially during a time as hectic as the winter fete, but four people sneaking in would certainly be noticed, and he would definitely bet that the darkling had doubled, if not tripled, security since the discovery of the sun summoner.

“Well, I thought this plan might not work.” Arken said smoothly, taking a sip of his drink.

As he finished his thought, Kaz heard a yell from the stage and multiple gasps as there was a loud thud. The three crows turned to look at the commotion and Kaz noted Arken’s smirk as they saw the acrobat who had been performing on the floor with her limbs in an unnatural position. Perhaps the conductor was smarter than he had guessed. Kaz filed the thought away for later, and planned on keeping the mole as far away from the target as possible.

He gave a quick glance to Inej and the tattoo on her wrist, before looking at Jesper. That million Kruger was becoming closer, and after using Arken to slow down the darkling, it’d be theirs for sure.

#reader insert #ben barnes #fanfic #ben barnes x reader #ben barnes x you #aleksander morozova #darkling #darkling x reader #the darkling #aleksander morozova x reader #the darkling x y/n #the darkling x you #the darkling x reader #shadow and bone #grishaverse #grisha netflix #six of crows #kaz brekker #inej my beloved #inej ghafa #jesper fahey #darkling fanfiction #general kirigan x you #general kirigan x reader #general kirigan

[sol-korolevas]

—warmth, or the absence of

—the darkling x reader; light mention of drinking; not edited 

—asdfghjkl a hundred years later i finally wrote something 

—love; for @tater-tati

You know that sometimes, what you want and need could never be yours. You learned it first as a child when you spot a stray cat in the streets of Keramzin. Your mother pulled you away after you pointed at it. 

The second time, you wanted a jacket that was on display in the market district of Os Alta. But after you asked for the price tag, you realized you could never afford such a beautiful piece of fabric. And it wasn’t like you’ll wear it all the time anyway. Your parents had everything you needed back home.

The third time came in the form of a person. Dressed in black, with the darkest eyes you ever saw. He acknowledged you and your fellow soldiers with a cool gaze. And for the briefest second, his eyes met yours. In that moment, you swore you’ll never give him up. 

One day, he’ll be yours and you, his. 

But you never had any luck with getting what you wanted, did you?

Her name was Alina Starkov. A sweet girl, perhaps a bit naive, but you didn’t mind her. The general assigned you to keep watch over her. Fair enough. And you felt a sense of pride when Kirigan personally told you. It meant something - a progression of relationship. Your smile was obvious and there was an extra something in your step.

“Someone’s happy,” Alina remarked as you trailed after you. “What happened?”

“A dream come true,” you told her. It was a bit cryptic, but that was all you could muster. If Alina prob further, you imagined that you’d actually tell her. 

Your heart felt like it might combust. Any day now - no, any time now - you would be able to move further and further close to Kirigan. 

What did his hands felt like? Was it scarred and rough like Ivan’s? Or was it soft and smooth like you hoped? 

Was he a good hugger, or a good kisser? The young Grisha students always spoke of how Kirigan must’ve had a secret lover or two before. They said Kirigan only liked those who are loyal to him.

You could be that, you knew. You could be that and more. 

Except, bad luck followed where ever you went. 

It came with a sudden noise in the general’s room. Alina had gone inside with him after the winter fete. You heard nothing so they must’ve been talking softly to each other. There were rumors of them whispered among your fellow oprichniki, but you waved them off as just that - rumors. 

The first mistake you made was cracking the door open and saw Kirigan kissing Alina. The second mistake was making a noise before shutting the door. The third—

The third came later. 

For now, you were running away, head light, and eyes dazed. Your chest hurts, it felt as if something cracked from the inside. It was a feeling worse than a sickness. And with each passing second, the pain festered worse and worse. 

You stumbled into the common area where a few of your friends were playing cards. They called your name but you ignored them as you staggered to your bunk bed. 

There were no Ravkan whiskey served to Kirigan’s personal guards. But a few of the new initiates snuck in some and hid them under the lower bunk beds. You salvaged a few and drank. Drank until you couldn’t tell the top from bottom. And then you slept. 

Someone woke you, told you that you should go see the general in his war room. 

They couldn’t see the drunkenness of your state. And you were too senseless to stop yourself from going. Besides, the general was your superior - you had to go even if you were dying. 

In the war room stood Kirigan and you. 

He had his hands clasped behind his back and a grim expression on his face. Your world tips and shakes and you almost fall. But before you do, something stopped you. Your throat bobbed when something soft and warm slid up your cheek. 

“Drinking again?” a smooth voice asked. 

Kirigan. 

You looked up and noticed his dark eyes on your face. It was inscrutable, but you could see the coldness in those gaze. His body kept yours from falling as he steered you into the room. 

Normally, your body would be alight with excitement and your mind buzzing with delight. Right now, however, you only trembled and you wanted to cry. 

You love him. 

And despite all rational thoughts telling you no, you grasped his kefta with your fingers. 

Kirigan didn’t push you off. In fact, he pressed you closer. “This is unbecoming of you, [Name].” His voice was soft. “What happened to the soldier I adore?”

A part of you sang with the word he said. But another, the deep and dark part of you, told you he was lying.

“I’m sorry, General,” you said. “I-I was drinking.” 

He chuckled, a deep and rich voice that you wanted to bottle up. “Best get sober before your mission. It’s important, because you’ll be retrieving Alina Starkov.” 

You looked up. Kirigan wasn’t smiling, but he wasn’t unhappy either. That’s the thing about him - he hardly kept his face from showing what he’s thinking. Nobody could read him well, not even you. 

The scene you saw hours ago rose within your memory. You may be drunk but you remembered. How closely they held one another. And how terrifying it was for you to realize your friend was kissing the one man you wanted. 

“[Name].” Kirigan brought a hand up to stroke your cheek, his other arm wound around your waist. “Do this for me, won’t you?” His face was closer. You could see the pink of his lips. 

Your mouth felt dry. 

“A-Alright,” you said. 

You love him.

“Bring my sun summoner back in one piece.” His finger touched your lower lip, lightly peeling it back. 

You nodded, eyes wide and face stiff. 

“Make sure everyone is with her are dead.” Kirigan replaced his finger with his lips, warm and inviting. But then he took your lower lip in between his teeth and bit down. The pain caused you to struggle, but his grip around you was firm. Eventually, you grew pliant and you let him taste you. 

It was what you wanted. You might be drunk, but you were conscious enough to know you wanted this. 

“I’ll make you happy, General,” you said, just as his hold loosened and his mouth parted from yours. There was a glint in his eyes, but you couldn’t tell what it was. Instead of thinking more about that, you smiled. 

“That’s right,” Kirigan replied. “You always make me happy, [Name].” 

#the darkling x reader #general kirigan x reader #the darkling #general kirigan #shadow and bone

[mizelophsun11]

Mizeloph's Tale Chapter 11

Pairing - really diving into General Kirigan x OC Sun Summoner in this chapter, but it is also getting closer to when it will turn to Kaz Brekker x OC Sun Summoner

Summary - Two sides of the same coin are finally coming together but it will be up to them to see where things lead. Nature might know that these two balance each other out, but is it intended that they will end up together? Time will tell where their story will go.

Word Count - 1956

-

Anna was deep in a hazy dream when she was suddenly awoken by a knock at the door, she quickly sat up and felt her sketchbook fall into her lap. She rubbed her eyes then grabbed the book, closed it and put it back under her pillow where it normally stayed. Another knock at the door brought her attention back to whoever wanted Anna awake at a much earlier time than what had become normal.

“Come on in!” Anna said, wanting to make sure whoever was on the other side could hear her

Genya walked in with a few maids and a large beige bag in her arms “good morning sunshine”

Anna laughed a little “I don’t exactly look like sunshine right now..” she had cried herself to sleep last night, she was sure her eyes were a little bit puffy

Genya hung the bag up and walked over to the bed and looked at Anna “we have a bit of time before you are to go horseback riding with General Kirigan to fix you up” Genya had heard about what had happened and felt bad for Anna

“Wait, horseback riding with General Kirigan? Should I not be training? Seems like Ivan thinks I should be constantly training instead of goofing off with horses..” Anna was still feeling uneasy about what had happened at dinner

“It doesn’t hurt to have a little bit of fun, yes you could be training, but it is also healthy for you to be able to go out and be a girl for once and not a training machine” Genya smiled, she had seen Anna try and go beyond the Little Palace court yard and was stopped every time, hopefully this would do her some good “plus, I thought I could show you this” she brought a beige bag over that she unzipped to reveal a black kefta with gold swirls

Anna was blown away by the kefta, she ran her hands over the black, she loved it “well, if I wear this it will definitely make Zoya jealous” she laughed a little at the idea

“Didn’t you hear? She is off the palace grounds, he sent her away to reassess her priorities” Genya never really liked Zoya, she would always enjoy times when Zoya was sent to the front line so she would be out of the Little Palace

Anna nodded and continued to examine the new kefta “I know black is his color.. But I really want to wear it” Anna got up and changed

Genya began to work on Anna to fix her hair and anything else that was needed. Once she was done, she helped Anna put the black kefta on and she looked at herself in the mirror. This was a piece that she did not know she needed, but now that she had it would not want to go back. Anna had liked the blue kefta a lot, but the black one made her feel just a bit more comfortable. After all, she had always worn black in Ketterdam, this is what she knew and it felt like now she had a little piece of herself. Her and Genya walked out to the courtyard where General Kirigan was, he was amazed by seeing Anna wear the black kefta.

“You decided to wear it” He was captivated by her, it didn’t take much because to him she was the light wherever she went

Anna nodded “yeah, I really liked the blue, but wearing the black one just felt right” she walked up to him and gave him a kiss on the cheek “thank you for letting me wear your color” she pulled away a little

General Kirigan rested his hand on her cheek “it’s our color” he smiled down at her then pulled his hand away

She smiled back and looked over at the horses, she approached the white friesian horse she would be riding “oh he is beautiful”

General Kirigan watched her “I thought you would like him”

He got on his horse and she had help getting onto hers, she gathered up her reins and they galloped off. It was a good day for riding, it wasn’t too hot and was partly cloudy, a little bit of shade with the nice breeze. Anna felt free, she was finally able to be off the ground of the Little Palace, she never realized until now that it had become a bit suffocating. Now that she had this, maybe life at the Little Palace wouldn’t be stuck behind the same four walls every day. After about an hour of riding, General Kirigan showed Anna the pathway to a hidden spot away from everyone else where a small fountain was placed. When they got there they tied their horses to a tree and walked over, General Kirigan pulled out a few coins from his kefta and gave some to Anna. She walked up and tossed one of the coins into the water, she approached and looked at herself in the water.

General Kirigan walked up and stood behind her “what is it you see?”

Anna thought for a moment “I'm not sure.. I have been trying to find myself, but every time I think I do everything changes..”

“Well, maybe your search is finally over” he watched from behind seeing what she would do

She looked over her shoulder at him “I sure hope so”

He moved to standing next to her “how has your time been at the Little Palace so far? Are you adjusting well?”

“I think it’s good, combat training has been good, I met Baghra yesterday and that went well, I think. I feel like people normally have a hard time with Baghra, am I right?”

General Kirigan nodded “everyone has some sort of challenges with her, what about your room, is it satisfactory to you?”

“It’s amazing, I have never had my own room before” Anna had always shared a room with Alina and in Ketterdam she didn’t even have a roof over her head “I am glad Genya has been at my side, I feel like I can always talk to her about anything.. I just think right now I am trying to find out what this life here will be like. I want a home, nothing has really stuck until I have come here and been given the chance” she felt stupid talking about having a home, one that is forever, but she had never had one before and Anna really wanted one

“I understand Miss Mizeloph, more than I think you know.. When I was young, I would be on the move, never really finding a home until here. However, even then there were times when I would come to this fountain because I could not outrun the fact that I am the descendant of the most hated Grisha in all of Ravka. I questioned how I could feel welcomed in a home that I feel like did not want me.. So at this fountain I would make a wish and hope that maybe things would change”

Anna watched General Kirigan “but if you found a home here, maybe I can too” she stepped closer to him and took his hand into hers, they were each other's support “this fountain is beautiful by the way, and the carvings are well preserved, it tells the story of the Black Heretic, correct?” she let go of his hand and backed up a little to look more closely at the artwork

He turned around and looked at her, impressed “from these old photos you could tell it was his story?”

“My nose was stuck in a book the moment I arrived at the orphanage, and not for the right reasons..” she looked at the pictures, examining the story “Hundreds of years ago King Anastas hired the Black Heretic to be his military advisor. However, the Heretic became hungry for power and the King feared a coup so a bounty was put on his head, along with any Grisha that stood by him. He knew he would be outnumbered so he tried to create his own army with a forbidden science, he failed. Instead he created the Fold and was killed by it along with many others..” Anna looked to General Kirigan, trying to see if she had any errors in reciting what she had been taught

He listened to what she said “I have devoted my life to work on undoing the problems created by my forebears, but I realized that I am not the solution. I am just a reminder of the problem and someone always needs to be blamed”

Anna looked over at him “is that why you look at me sometimes like I am the solution? The legendary Sun Summoner has been found and all problems will be solved.. But if people decide that I am not the hope they wanted, I will become a Heretic that people paint in a dark story..”

“Anna Mizeloph, I promised I would keep you safe, and I will make sure that does not happen to you” He said, approach her and taking her hands into his “you and I are going to change the world”

She looked up to him and smiled “you didn’t call me Miss Mizeloph.. Like you normally do”

He didn’t even realize that “well, if I can call you Anna, then can you please call me Aleksander?”

Anna nodded, looking deep into his dark eyes, they were truly alone, since they had gotten to the Little Palace they had not been alone like this, far away from others. At that moment it was like they were the only two people in the world. Slowly they began to lean into each other and when Anna closed her eyes she could feel his lips meet hers. A kiss, their first kiss, it was a very sweet moment for them. They had found each other, two sides of the same coin, a balance that the other needed to feel whole. For both of them they felt like the kiss lasted forever, but really it was only a few seconds. Both pulled away and gazed into each other's eyes, they did not want to leave, but reality waited for no one.

“I.. should probably get you back to Baghra, she is not the biggest fan of tardiness” Aleksander said

Anna nodded “yeah”

They both didn’t move right away, standing there for a minute before going back to their horses and riding back to the Little Palace. However, they both mutually slowed down and wanted to continue to spend more time together. Both of them had blossoming feelings and now that they were out, they wanted to not be apart for too long. Once they finally got back they dismounted and went to each other.

“I hope we can do this again sometime” Anna said grabbing onto Aleksanders hand

Aleksander nodded “we will”

They watched their horses be put away by the stable hands then they walked towards Baghras place. On their way to Baghras, Aleksander brought Anna's hand up and kissed the top. As they got closer, Aleksander stopped, wanting their last interaction before Anna went to work on her summoning be private.

She got on her toes and gave him a quick kiss “thank you for such a wonderful morning Aleksander”

“You are welcome Anna, maybe we could do something together soon, just the two of us” he held her close then kissed her forehead

Anna smiled “I would love that”

General Kirigan and Anna parted, their hearts growing closer to one another. Two sides of the same coin were coming together now and nature could only tell what would happen next.

-

Author Note - Hi Everyone! Thank you for everyone who has been sticking around to read my story! I know that I have been a lot slower about updating and I am really trying to get back to some schedule which I hope will be soon. Soon I will be moving into an apartment and so after that things should hopefully slow down a bit in life to wrap everything up. Also, if anyone would like to leave a comment, message me or be added to the tag list please let me know!

Tag List - @rika90 @itsemy01 @hotleaf-juice @teatimeforusreaders @benbarnes-supremacy @graciefullygracie @aleksanderwh0r3 @klaudosh @herbatkazmilosica

#grisha fic #the grisha series #grishaverse #grisha netflix #shadow and bone #shadow and bone fanfiction #shadow and bone netflix #ben barnes #ben barnes x reader #general kirigan #general kirigan x reader #aleksander morozova #aleksander x reader #freddy carter #freddy carter x reader #kaz brekker #kaz brekker x reader

[qqueenofhades]

Your majesty, may I humbly inquire if/how you would imagine a reunion of Ivan and Fedyor after the events of season 1?

Also on AO3.

Ivan wakes up on the far side of the Shadow Fold with very little memory of how he arrived there. He lies flat on his back beneath the cold white sun, which drills into his head like a blade, and at last, after a great effort, he vaguely recalls sunlight of another sort, wild and fey, bursting from Alina Starkov’s hands on the deck of the skiff as everything else went to hell. He remembers the Zemeni brat getting a lucky jump on him and shoving him over the rail, and then falling. Swirling, hungry shadows, shrieking volcra, running with his arms flung over his head, knowing only that he wasn’t dying like this, that he had to survive. In that, at least, he has succeeded. His kefta is torn and filthy, his lips are cracked and bloody, his face is striped with an ugly wound that might scar, he reeks of monstrous ichor, and he may or may not have just witnessed the entire city of Novokribirsk being scoured clean off the map, but Ivan Kaminsky is alive.

After a while he sits up, retching and forcing down the reel of dizziness. He squats on his haunches and tries to focus enough to heal his own wounds. Healers and Heartrenders can learn each other’s craft, but Ivan got complacent with Fedyor always around to do it for him, safe in the luxurious privacy of their bedroom at the Little Palace after another hard campaign. As the general’s right-hand man, he is more often on the front lines, and it became an enjoyably erotic exercise for Fedyor to tenderly patch him up, even if the Second Army Healers had already seen to most of it. I do not mend things, Ivan thinks, looking at the rough results of his efforts. I break them.

With a groan, Ivan forces himself all the way to his feet, looks down at his hand, and discovers that his amplifier is still there, the bear claw that was a valued gift from General Kirigan. No, not Kirigan – there was something else about who Aleksander really is, something Ivan needs to remember, but he can’t. But the bear claw was how he took down all those diplomats at once, something that doesn’t bother him, exactly, but what he still needs to reckon with. So, in his usual tidy, methodical fashion, he does so. They were representatives of cruel, greedy, incompetent governments who all want the Grisha dead or exploited, and while they might have been unarmed civilians, how many unarmed Ravkan children have died cowering in the dark because of their soldiers? As for Novokribirsk –

Ivan closes his eyes hard. He knows that one is harder to explain away, but at the end, he still can see the cold, merciless logic of it. West Ravka was a nest of traitors, and General Zlatan wanted every single person on that skiff dead. There is a certain sordid sense, there always has been, in inflicting one strategically planned atrocity to ensure the compliance of the rest. He knows that Fedyor will be upset. He has a soft heart, and having grown up near Kribirsk, he will have heard stories of its Western Ravkan counterpart and the separated families who lived there, dreamed of visiting when the Fold was banished. That –

Fedyor. Ivan freezes.

He doesn’t know where Fedyor is.

He doesn’t know if Fedyor is alive.

Frantically, he searches out through the network of the world, the meshed echo of heartbeats and living creatures that has always been a Heartrender’s particular soundscape, the extra dimension of humanity that he learned to experience as a child long before he had a name for it. Of course he can’t find Fedyor if he isn’t relatively nearby, but Ivan has always believed that no distance, no matter how great, could truly separate them for long. He just needs to start in one direction and work it down. He can’t stop. In all likelihood, Kirigan is dead now. Someone needs to muster the Grisha and rally them against the Fjerdans, the Shu Han, the Kerch, everyone else who will be swooping in to take advantage of Ravka’s stunning weakness. No more Black General. No one to keep them all safe.

Cold panic twists into Ivan’s heart like a railroad nail. It’s not that he didn’t know that Aleksander has – had – that deep ruthless streak, but he understood it. He just wanted to keep safe what he loved, even if it has twisted and calcified into something else, something still darker. Ivan Kaminsky loves two things: Ravka and Fedyor. He doesn’t need anything else. And he too will burn the world down if it means keeping them safe. If that makes him the new Black General, though he would not presume, so be it. Someone needs to do the dirty work.

Ivan grits his teeth, and ventures into the unknown.

It takes a few weeks, searching painfully and slowly down the coast, pelted with wild rumors of Novokribirsk’s horrifying fate and what awaits them now, trying to shut his ears to all of it, until he finally makes it to Os Kervo, on the shores of the True Sea. There is a ship with the Grisha banner in port, and as he gets closer, Ivan knows with a searing jolt that this is it, Fedyor is here somewhere, he is here. He follows heartbeats, stumbling through the streets and pushing people aside, ignoring their dirty looks and their curses. Some of them halt when they catch sight of the black embroidery still faintly visible on his filthy kefta, but others don’t look twice. Until he staggers down to the dock, and –

There he is. It drives the scanty breath out of Ivan’s lungs at a blow. He could stand here forever, looking and looking. But eventually, in a whisper, he has to speak.

“Fedya?”

Fedyor whirls around and stares. He looks like a man who can’t believe his own eyes, who has not even allowed himself to think about the worst, has shut himself down to avoid the prospect. He looks older and colder and harder than Ivan’s sweet Fedya, the man he left behind not the same as the one that greets him now, but it is still him. He doesn’t bother with words. He closes the distance between them in three strides, throws his arms around Ivan’s neck, and kisses him savagely.

Ivan doesn’t give a shit that they’re in public, that everyone can see them, that he himself is weak in the knees and can feel tears running down his unshaven cheeks, the taste of the salt mingling in their kiss. They sway on the spot, unwilling to let go of each other in case they evaporate, until Fedyor finally whispers, “Below. Now.”

They stumble onto the ship and into one of the tiny berths, barely large enough for Ivan to stand upright, but he doesn’t care. Fedyor strips him out of the tattered remains of his kefta and sets to work, as Ivan closes his battered eyes and lets himself sink into the sheer, unbelievable joy of his lover’s familiar touch, the restored wholeness of their two halves. But of course, the illusion that nothing has changed cannot last forever. As he smooths his fingers over the deepest of the volcra gashes, Fedyor says, “Vanya, what happened?”

Ivan stares at the low ceiling of the bunk. He doesn’t know if he can put it into words, doesn’t know if he wants Fedyor to know everything, even as he doesn’t think he can justly keep it from him. He does his best to provide a terse, clinical summary of the events on the skiff, and reaches out to grab Fedyor’s hand before confirming the truth about Novokribirsk. “It’ll be all right,” he says urgently. “As long as there’s you and me.”

Fedyor stares at him. His dark eyes look huge and terrified. “You think that’s all right?”

“No. Not exactly, I just – ” Ivan has never been the best with words, and they are once more cruelly failing him. He puts his other hand on Fedyor’s cheek, turning his face back to him. “I need you to understand that we’re at war. War, Fedya, in a way we never have been before. All the others, they hated us, but Kirigan kept them at bay. Now there’s nothing. They’re all coming for us. Novokribirsk is only the start.”

“And whose fault is it,” Fedyor asks flatly, “that that happened? If Kirigan hadn’t gone mad with trying to expand the Fold, with Alina Starkov – things were stable before! Not good, maybe, but predictable! Constant! Now this – ”

“It was a stalemate before!” Ivan crawls out of the bunk and kneels in front of Fedyor, looking up at him imploringly. “They were trying to smoke us out, wait for us to make a mistake, so they could pounce on us and tear Ravka to pieces! Fedya – look at me, Fedya, darling, Fedya, my heart. Look at me. I will keep us safe. I will keep you safe.”

Fedyor looks at him mutely, tears running down his own cheeks, catching on the dimples that Ivan has always found so irresistible (even if he does an excellent job of pretending otherwise). Finally, with no other option, Fedyor nods slowly, his hands still knotted tightly with Ivan’s. He lets Ivan hold him, and Ivan does so ferociously, wrapping him in his arms and resting his head on Fedyor’s mussed hair and swearing in the dark that he will slaughter the Sun Summoner himself if need be, whatever needs to be done to keep Fedyor Kaminsky alive and whole and happy. Nothing else matters now. Not really.

After that, Fedyor lets Ivan tend to him, and opens up a little, and says that he found Nina Zenik in, of all places, a port city in the company of a Fjerdan drüskelle. She wanted to insist, improbably, that this witch hunter had changed for the better in the course of a few weeks, but Fedyor didn’t believe it. Ivan is comforted to hear him say this, that not all of Fedyor’s old certainties have totally dissolved, that he still trusts their enemies are their enemies. The drüskelle has been shipped off to Kerch, after Nina accused him of slaving in what Fedyor thinks was a calculated ploy to keep the big blond bastard out of the hands of the Grisha. “I don’t understand, Vanya,” he says, his head on Ivan’s bare chest as they lie together in the narrow bunk, naked except for the furs piled on top. “He hurt her, he captured her, he would have killed her as soon as he remembered. Why would she defend him?”

We all defend the things we love, even when they hurt us. Ivan doesn’t say this aloud. He doesn’t want to believe any more than Fedyor does that Nina improbably found the one good apple of an otherwise bad lot. It is easier to think of the Fjerdans as a faceless mass of ice-cold holy warriors, especially since they will be licking their chops at the downfall of the Black General, their archenemy and the king of the Grisha demons. “We do stupid things for the people we think we care about,” he says instead. “And Nina is young. Impressionable. She will learn the truth soon enough.”

Fedyor doesn’t answer, his fingers tracing light circles around Ivan’s collarbone. Finally, he shifts on top of him, his mouth finding Ivan’s with something close to desperation. After they pull back from the kiss, he says, “Promise me that we won’t lose each other again, Vanya. Whatever comes next. We have to do it together. Please?”

Ivan looks at the face of this man he loves so much and so well, who needs to hear this sweet lie no matter whether it is true. And with his own heart, closed and guarded as he generally keeps it, he wants to believe it too. He does. He does. He does.

If only it could make it so. If only he could be sure.

“Promise,” he whispers. “Promise.”

#ivan x fedyor #heartrender husbands #fivan #the answer is i have Many Feelings evidently #many many feelings #anonymous #ask #fivan ff

[sirenprincess15]

Please Don't Leave Me Chapter 1

Title: Please Don’t Leave Me

Author: SirenPrincess

Description: What if Aleksander hadn’t answered the door when Ivan interrupted the war room kissing? What if Aleksander and Alina had a bit more time to get to know each other before Baghra told her his true identity? Alina is the only one who can comfort Aleksander through his nightmares. Will she leave once she knows who he is?

This story is based on the show version and features a soft on the inside, hard on the outside Aleksander with an emphasis on emotional hurt/comfort and angst. If you are looking for lots of hurt!Aleksander thoughts, then this story is for you. Mal exists but pretty much solely to cause Aleksander some angst. Don’t worry. It will be a Darklina ending.

Chapter 1 is a missing scene at the end of Ep 4 (a bit of a prequel to the real story but I just NEEDED this scene to set them up), and Chapter 2 takes place alongside Ep 5 and then diverges from canon there. I have 14 chapters (49 pages) written so far that I am in the process of editing, and I will be writing a lot more.

Pairings: Aleksander Morozova/Alina Starkov, bits of Ivan/Fedyor

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: Grisha are oppressed in this universe, and I don’t shy away from showing the horrors of that. There may eventually be mentions of canon-typical torture (Fjerdan pyres), death of family members, and cruelty to Grisha children. It’s not the focus, but that backdrop is definitely there and comes up as characters discuss their past.

Chapter 1

It was already several hours past a reasonable time to be asleep, but Aleksander sat at his desk pouring over books on the Stag and amplifiers. He had read them all before; he even had some memorized, but he kept hoping that he would glean some hint he had missed before or understand a detail in a new light after recently reading something else. It was likely a futile effort, but he kept trying.

The night before, Alina had stumbled into his war room. He had been distraught over the likely loss of Nina. The rumors of West Ravkans helping the Druskelle capture her, of them turning on Grisha as their kin had before … they were enough to pull him back into the nightmares of the past. But then she had just been there, standing in his doorway. As embarrassed as he was that she had seen him lose control of his power and seen his eyes fill with tears, having her there was exactly what he’d needed. She had reminded him that he wasn’t alone anymore, that he didn’t have to fight to save Grisha with his power alone anymore. He had hers now. The strength of her light, her warmth when she grabbed his wrist was amazing. It had been enough to banish his shadows away. She was getting more powerful as she adjusted to using what she had always hidden. Together they were strong, but it still wasn’t enough. But if they found the Stag and he worked with her, together they would be powerful enough to protect Grisha. Not to mention what an amplifier that strong would do to her lifeline.

A soft knock at his door surprised him. He’d sent Ivan to bed hours ago. Perhaps an update on Nina? “Come,” he called.

“Alina,” he couldn’t help the smile that came over his face at seeing her standing in his doorway. “Come in.”

She looked more comfortable tonight entering his rooms. He liked that she seemed more at ease with him and his proximity. Gone were the days of her backing away in fear when he moved towards her. Tonight, though, she seemed different than even the night before, more confident somehow. Perhaps it was just that Genya had retouched her undereyes to get rid of the tiredness there, but that wouldn’t account for her more relaxed body language.

“Still having trouble sleeping?” he asked with concern. “I can get you some kvas,” he offered, rising to go get her some.

“No, thank you. I … I’m feeling much more relaxed tonight, actually.”

So he wasn’t imagining things. “To what do I owe this pleasure, then? Don’t get me wrong. I’m glad you’re here. But, two visits in two nights, careful, I might come to like this,” he teased.

She matched his smile but blushed a little. It looked good on her. “It sounds silly when I put words to it.”

“Tell me,” he commanded.

“I just wanted to check on you,” she admitted. “I talked to Genya, and she said she’d heard rumors that you often have trouble sleeping, weight of the world on your shoulders and all that. I hope you don’t mind that she shared that. She was just trying to put my mind at ease. But, last night you just seemed … Well, I worried you might need a little light tonight.” She glanced nervously over at him for his reaction.

All he could do was laugh. “You’re checking up on me?” It was unbelievable, unexpected, and adorable.

“Are you laughing at me?” she demanded.

He shook his head. “I’m laughing at me. Here I’m worried if I intimidate you, and you think I need tucked in for the night.”

“What? Is the great General Kirigan too important to have someone care how he’s feeling?”

“No,” he whispered, amazed at how she had this way of cutting right through to him. “Not at all. Quite the opposite.” It was just that no one ever cared to even notice, unless you counted when the others feared they would anger him.

“Please, join me,” he offered. He pulled a chair for her next to his at the desk.

She took it and glanced at the desk full of books. “You’re interested in the Stag, too!” she said with surprise.

“You know the lore of the Stag?” Of course he’d seen her sketches and read her letters, but he wasn’t sure how much she actually knew about the object of her dreams.

“Must you always be shocked when I know history? I am educated, you know. Perhaps not as a Grisha, but I am well-read.”

“Perhaps you’d like to help me, then,” he offered and gestured at the pile of books. “I’ve read them until the words swirl in my head, but maybe you have a different perspective. You might notice something different.”

Her eyes scanned the books and one of them caught her eyes. “This one,” she said, pulling a book of text written entirely in Old Ravkan.

He remembered Genya mentioning in one of her debriefs that Alina spoke Old Ravkan. It was a useful skill for the court, but their accents grated his nerves. Alina’s voice, though? He smiled at the thought of speaking Old Ravkan with her. “So, read it to me?”

He closed his eyes as he listened to her beautiful voice read to him in his native language. “This is different from my dreams,” she murmured as her fingers brushed a line.

“You dream of the Stag?” He hoped she would open up and tell him more.

She nodded. “I know it’s silly. Mal would tell me it’s just a fairytale, but …” she trailed off.

“It’s a sign, Alina,” he said with confidence. He reached out and took her hand. “I believe the Stag is real, and I believe it’s meant for you. People might think me a fool, too, but I can feel it. It’s meant for you. Your dreams just prove it. I want to find it for you, to amplify your powers. I know you’re scared to face the Fold, but with me and the Stag, you will be powerful enough. For the first time, Alina, I have hope.”

She was still frightened, unsure if she would be enough; he could see it in her eyes, but it was less so than before. “I did much better calling the light on my own today,” she shared.

“You did? Show me.”

She looked a little nervous, but there was more sureness in her as she stood and called a large ball of the light. “I know it’s not a lot yet, but I’m getting stronger.”

“I can tell. You’re doing great. Do you mind if I ask what changed? You do seem different tonight.”

She took a deep breath. “I think I just had to accept who I am, to stop hiding her. I’ve spent my entire life hiding. I had to accept I am Grisha, and I have a place in all this.”

He wanted to say ‘by my side’ but he worried it would be too much for her. He had probably said too much thanks to the kvas the night before, not to mention nearly kissing her. And, yet, look at how she had responded. Strong. Confident. It suited her. “Together we will have the strength to make sure Grisha never have to hide again.” He looked her in the eye. “I will not let us fail. Now, tell me about your dreams.”

#darklina #aleksander morovoza #alina x kirigan #alina x darkling #general kirigan

[oliviamaze]

The Darkling dreams: right after the end of season one (Shadow and Bone)

Fandom: Shadow and Bone | Word-count: 921

This one-shot is based specifically on the show, as I did not read the books, so any information on it is based in what’s known so far on the end of season one. Like the title implies, it has spoilers and information from the season one finale, so if you didn’t finish yet, I recommend saving to read it after you do. I wrote it not long after finishing the season and it follows solely Kirigan, like a small stretch of what could’ve happened after the very last scene of the season.

Gif credit: @zacksnydered​.

That night, he dreamt of her. 

After being thrown into the darkness of the Fold by Alina and her allies, General Kirigan was forced to confront the creatures he once created and somehow won. Not without struggle, not without consequence: when the Darkling finally reached the other side, he had managed to take control of some volcra, but became exhausted.

Walking with difficulty and escorted by the beasts he once feared, he found a place to rest in what was left of the city nearest to the Fold, devastated by his temporary expansion of it. It was a little house with a brick wall, partly broken down by the effect of the expansion, but enough to stay for the night and recover before looking for a Healer.

He commanded the volcra to stay put in the entrance, hoping as his eyes closed that the control over them wouldn’t fade in his sleep. Then, like his shadows, all became dark.

First, he heard her laughter as an echo. The same one from the day they first kissed and got relentlessly interrupted by others knocking on the door. If he knew then what was coming, we would’ve insisted on making the moment last more. The sound came first loud and then dissolved into silence.

Suddenly, a bright light exploded from the darkness and gradually diminished around a center in which a white stag, the same he killed and claimed, was looking directly towards him. If this was the spirit of the animal calling to him, he expected to find anger in his expression, but there was none. The majestic stag observed him without judgment. 

The animal’s image started to melt in place, like it was made of wax and when it was no longer recognizable, it started to remold itself, gaining new contours. The new form it took was from a young woman in a long white dress with exposed shoulders, her back to him. But even without seeing her face, he knew who she was.

“Starkov”, he heard his own voice whispering. In his dream,she could hear him clearly even from afar  because when the last syllable of her last name was pronounced she lightly turned her head in reaction. 

“Alina”, the Darkling continued, now louder, almost shouting. “Sun-summoner”. He tried to walk towards her, but his feet wouldn’t move. 

This last call made her fully turn to him and now they could see each other’s faces. Her face was relaxed and neutral, quite different from the last time he saw her in their latest confrontation.  And quite beautiful. A miracle. 

“You should have listened to me. We could have ended all wars against Ravka, together”, he said, trying to convince her even in his dream. A noisy sound came right after he finished his sentence, caws and rattles, as if crows were around, but in a very particular articulation, as though they were mocking him. He clenched his first, angry.

“If this is your spirit calling to me, know I’ll forgive you if you cooperate. And you…”, his voice faltered, “... you may forgive me too. I may have exceeded myself in my ways to try to get you to the sensible conclusion”.

Her mouth opened slightly and she tilted her head at him.

“Please”, he asked, lowering his tone. “I have waited for you for so long”. 

“This much...”, Kirigan paused, his eyes becoming darker as his brows narrowed, “has always been true”.

Previously stuck at one place, now he could feel his feet released, once again following his commands. Letting out a smirk in satisfaction, he began walking in Alina’s direction, interpreting this as a sign to come closer.

“You’ll see, Starkov… Big things, we’ll accomplish so much together”, he said, smiling wider and wider as he walked in her direction through the dark space in which only the two of them could be seen in full light. “We’ll rule together, never know of loneliness again, my dear. We’ll be like night and day. Complementary, like stars and the sky. Ravka will be just the beginning for us and we…”.

He stopped talking when noticed something sticking out of Alina’s hair, but continued on walking towards her, squeezing his eyes trying to identify what it was.

It was white, spiky and it grew directly out of her head, fast. There were two such entities, one on each side of the Sun-summoner’s head, arising in synchrony. As it happened, her expression did not change, she remained stoic and quiet. When their structure began forming curves and derivations like branches out of each section, it became clear what it was. 

Kirigan’s eyes widened as he swallowed his own saliva and stopped before reaching her.

“What?...”, he began to say, but in a rapid movement, Alina kneed, joining her hands together, as if she was prayings for the saints of Ravka. And in that moment, the full grown, white and sharp, antlers in her head came out at once, and quickly as an arrow pointed directly at him, piercing through his clothes all through his skin, his interior. His heart. The shadow summoner let out a gasp, shrinking. He looked down to his own body, all perforated, dripping blood to his knees, feeling excruciating pain.

And when he looked back at her, her expression had changed. Lips tight together, nostrils flared, brows knitted: rage burning.

This was the last he saw before waking up, raising his back all at once, to warm rays of light touching his skin. The sun had risen.

                                            ------------------------------

The Darkling and all aspects of the Grishaverse do not belong to me, I solely did the plot for this piece of fan-fiction, inspired by it. Please, DO NOT COPY and publish this somewhere else without permission and let me know if you see someone else doing it.

Hi! I’m an aspiring fiction writer and English is my second language. I’m trying to improve my writing in it (and in general), so if you’d like to respectfully give me feedback through message or ask, I would appreciate it! It can be about any aspect you’d like to comment about, let me know what worked (this can help me stay motivated to continue!) and what didn’t (so I can take notice of it and try to do better in the future). My favorite genres to write in are Fantasy, Sci-Fi and Paranormal in varied age-range and types.

Suggestions of aspects you can comment about: plot & character development, pacing, style, grammar, tone (if it matches the story), dynamics presented, voice (if you feel you can identify my voice as a writer), dialog execution etc… Endless possibilities!

And if you speak Portuguese (my first language) or would like to use reading as a training method for your Portuguese-learning, check out my works on Portuguese. I’m @oliviamaze on both Wattpad and Tumblr (link on my bio), possibly on more in the future (if so, I’ll announce in either Wattpad or Tumblr). If you’d like to suggest a particular prompt or fandom idea for me to write, or just comment something about the fandoms I like as well, send me a message or ask via one of these social media.

#sab #shadow and bone spoilers #one shot #fanfiction #shadow and bone fanfiction #sab fanfiction #sab one shot #netflix #fantasy #short story #kirigan #general kirigan #ben barnes #aleksander #aleksander morozova #the darkling #darkling quotes #alina x darkling #darklina #darkling x alina #alina x kirigan #one shots #shadow and bone fanfic #dream #headcanon #angst #sab spoilers #shadow and bone

[maleficarfic]

Control

Pairing: The Darkling/Alina Starkov

Fandom: Shadow & Bone | The GrishaVerse

Rating: Explicit

Additional Tags: Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, light bondage, sex magic, dirty talk

Summary: He was power crafted into flesh. But so was she.

Aleksander impresses the importance of control on Alina. She is a quick study.

On AO3: Link

They rode side by side, leaving the Little Palace and Os Alta behind them on a crisp, chilly day in late fall. Since the day at the well, he’d invited her out a handful of times—whenever he was at the Little Palace, he seemed to find an excuse to go riding with her.

Alina turned her eyes to the sky and wished he’d find an excuse to go riding with her. She probably hadn’t made it clear she was interested in him like that. After all, she’d dropped hints to Mal for years, but he never looked twice at her.

“Your lessons are progressing well?” Aleksander asked her, breaking the silence between them.

He rode like he was born for the saddle, all straight lines and confidence. He held the reins in one gloved hand, his other resting loosely in his lap.

With a sigh, Alina slouched in her saddle. She didn’t ride well at all—even without the comparison to him, she felt as uncomfortable on a horse as she did in her classes. She belonged in both places, but she fit wrong.

“Well enough.” She looked away from him, studying the passing trees with more interest than they deserved. “I can summon the light, at least.”

“Mmm.”

The sound of his agreement caressed the length of her spine. Her back arched, her shoulders rolling back, and when she glanced at him, she found him studying her.

“What?”

His brows lifted and he gave her a faint look of amusement. “You’ll need to do more than simply summon light at the Fete.”

Since she couldn’t scowl at the great General Kirigan, she dragged her eyes away from him and back to the trees just in time for them to give way to a broad meadow.

“Sometimes,” he said, “it helps to have a goal to work toward.”

He dismounted at the edge of the meadow, leading his horse toward a nearby post.

Head canted to the side, Alina followed and dismounted as well. “Why’s there a post here?”

“Old training field,” he replied, tying his horse and then hers.

“What’s here that will give me a goal?” She surveyed the field, barely managing to disguise her disbelief.

Aleksander gave her a dry look as he stepped around her, putting the horses at their backs. “Space.” He sounded incredibly amused by this, like he knew something she didn’t.

To be fair, he certainly did.

Frowning, she followed after him. “Why do we need this much space?”

The meadow was easy as big as the massive drive leading up to the Grand Palace. A critical examination of the meadow using all the skills she’d gained as a mapmaker told her they easily had the same area as a city block.

Aleksander stopped walking forward, and she stumbled to a halt half an inch away from his back.

He glanced over his shoulder at her. “You won’t see anything from there, Miss Starkov. Come—” She hoped the heat that washed through her at that word didn’t show on her face. “—and stand at my side.”

She joined him, watching him with curiosity.

He clasped his hands together behind his back.

Their shadows overflowed their boundaries, darkness welling up around their feet, their ankles. The sight of it no longer frightened her. Instead, he awed her as he brought his hands around his body, drawing more shadows from the distant edge of the meadow.

“Do you remember what I told you on our first ride to the Little Palace?”

Frankly, it was a blessing she’d forgotten the bulk of their terrifying flight across Ravka. At first, she’d dreamed of the Drüskelle’s death regularly. Had jolted awake from nightmares of his blood splashing her face all over again or, worse, the hand axe cracking into her skull. Now, the whole thing seemed like a lifetime ago.

Unsure if she should be embarrassed that she didn’t remember, she ducked her head. “No,” she answered honestly.

“The Cut,” he said, and her eyes jumped back to him.

She remembered that.

The Cut was a technique unique to Summoners, a shaping of power that required tremendous skill and concentration.

“I’ve seen the Cut,” she said, her voice low and soft. She didn’t know what might happen to all that power if she disrupted his concentration.

“So you have.” He held his hands before him, creating a crescent of writhing darkness in the air, holding the scythe-like edge.

Her eyes widened. To casually hold the power like that… how much power did Aleksander actually possess? What was the true extent of his abilities? She knew he was old, knew that meant he had considerably more power than the average Grisha, but—

“But we can do more with our power than just kill—than just destroy,” Aleksander said, a strange quality in his voice.

Darkness fell from his fingers in inky pools as he spread his hands wide, creating a plane of shadow. One of his hands slid beneath the darkness, as though supporting a tray, the fingers of his other hand danced over the plane, sculpting it slowly into a panorama.

Alina exhaled heavily with wonder, eyes wide as Aleksander made two forms out of shadow that walked together through a glade ringed by trees.

“We can create.” She felt his eyes on hers, but she couldn’t look away from what he’d crafted. “People think the small science has to be big.” His lips quirked, as if he found a joke in the small contradiction of his description.

Darkness collapsed on itself, folding into a small sphere no larger than a marble, but she felt the tremendous weight of it. Its gravity pulled her, and she stepped closer, enchanted by a kernel of midnight.

Aleksander turned his body toward hers. “The small science is small,” he said, his voice lowering. “It needn’t be a grand thing that overwhelms.” He lifted his hand between them, and she stared at the blackness, the emptiness, the void resting on the tips of his fingers. “Where is there shadow, Miss Starkov?”

Her eyes lifted to his. There was a lesson here, and she tried to divine the answer in the darkness of his eyes.

The corner of her lip quirked up.

Your eyes didn’t seem like an answer she could give him. “The night,” she said aloud.

“Think smaller. Where else is the darkness?” His eyes were fierce.

“Beneath the forest canopy.”

“Smaller still, Miss Starkov.”

She licked her lips. “In the space between you and me.”

Something shifted, an infinitesimally small change in his expression. There was darkness there, she thought. Darkness in his eyes.

“Smaller.”

“The hearts of men.”

“How philosophical.”

Heat flushed her cheeks. “I—”

“You,” he interrupted, “are not wrong.” He spread his fingers wide, and the darkness stretched between them. “You find your piece of the science wherever you can. We are all things, Miss Starkov, that is the truth. And there is power in that.”

Lifting his other hand, he caught the strand of darkness and stretched it into a long, thin rope.

“And underpinning it all is control,” he said, his voice low and rough, his gaze fixed on hers. “The ability to exert your will on the world around you. If your power is everywhere, then you cannot be robbed of it.”

There was something important in that statement, but he gave her no time to pick through the labyrinth of his words.

“And if you can control it, you can never be overwhelmed.”

His hands turned in lazy circles, and she felt a coil of shadow against the inside of her wrist, cool as silk.

With a gasp, she lifted her hands as he drew them together, bound in a cord of darkness. She felt the pressure of another tendril of darkness against her throat, her waist, just below her knee.

Instead of feeling trapped, she felt a strange sort of liberation. If there was darkness in the hearts of men, there was also light, and his shadows were only so dark because her light shone so bright. He bound her in darkness, but she could destabilize his science with her own.

And that was power.

“Could I do this with light?” she asked him, studying her bound hands.

He caught his fingers beneath the knot of darkness, drawing her closer to him. He hadn’t hobbled her feet with his shadowy bindings, but she let herself fall against his chest.

His hand settled on her hip, holding her in place as he chuckled.

“Ah, Miss Starkov, how is it you so often surprise me?”

Since she’d arrived at the Little Palace, she’d thought of him often. At first, she’d been afraid of him. His reputation was as great and terrible as the Fold. He was solitary and given to isolation, they said, whoever they were, with exacting standards and little patience for mistakes. He was power crafted into flesh.

But so was she.

Now, when she thought of him, it wasn’t with fear. It was with respect—more respect than she’d had a moment before. And deeper, buried beneath the respect, was something else. Something hot and hungry, something full of craving.

Full of desire.

Lifting to her toes, her wrists still bound and her eyes on his, she pressed a tentative kiss against his mouth.

His eyes went wide and then drifted half closed, the hand on her hip curling into the heavy fabric of her kefta.

“Twice in as many minutes,” he murmured against her lips.

She shivered, finding the brush of his mouth against hers delicious. “I don’t think that was two minutes.”

“Are you suggesting I possess a poor sense of time?”

“Maybe.” Her lips curved in a faint smile. “Maybe you should release my hands and let me try this on you.”

His other hand found its way around the back of her neck, the tips of his fingers pushing into her hair to hold her close. The hand on her hip gripped her tighter, pulling her against the solid wall of his body.

She inhaled sharply, delighted and somewhat mystified by the sharp ache growing between her legs. She’d felt desire before, but it had always been a muted thing, easily set aside for the more pressing concerns of her own survival. Maybe she should be more concerned with her survival in this moment—he was dangerous, and to suggest he wasn’t was to believe a pretty lie—but all she wanted was to sink deeper into the feeling.

“You are Grisha.” Every word he spoke was like a kiss. Tingles spread from her lips to her jaw, along her scalp and down her spine. “Maybe you should practice your power.”

She hesitated. “Isn’t that dangerous?”

The hand on her hip curved to the small of her back. The heel of it pressed against her, urging her closer, and she was surprised to find there was still space between them, a space she quicky eliminated. Then his hand shifted lower, the tips of his fingers brushing over the swell of her ass.

Dark eyes watched her as his hand eased lower.

“Would you hold any part of yourself back from a lover?” he asked her, his voice low and rich and, Saints, she felt that sound. “Would you not use your hands to touch them?”

“Yes,” she breathed as his hand cupped her ass and tugged her flush against him. His arm kept her close, helped her maintain her balance.

“Would you not use your mouth to kiss them? To taste them?”

She swallowed hard, remembering all those times she’d imagined Aleksander’s mouth on hers. And on other parts of her.

“You’re imagining it now, aren’t you?”

She gasped as liquid darkness slipped over her arms. The bindings around her wrists stayed in place, but cool shadow drifted inside her sleeves and stroked over her skin. Tendrils of it, like so many cool fingers, dipped beneath her tunic and into her breeches.

Skin prickling with heat, she tried to tug her wrists apart.

“Where would you have me kiss you, Miss Starkov?”

“Alina,” she insisted.

“Alina,” he agreed, his voice a rough purr. “Will you dodge my question?”

She wasn’t sure she could answer his question. “I…”

He smiled and brushed his lips against her in the faintest caress.

Somehow, that devastated her more than any other sensation. She felt like she was falling even though he held her secure against his body.

“That wasn’t your original question,” she managed. “That doesn’t answer my question.”

“You worry about control.” Shadow licked along her thighs, following the curve of her ass, and she gasped, arching into him. His eyes darkened, becoming pools of midnight and desire. “That, Alina, is why we practice.”

He drew his mouth along her jaw, urging her head back and into the palm of his hand. A shuddering breath rushed out of her, tinged with a quieted moan. The heat of his breath washed over her skin, along the column of her throat, and his teeth followed.

Gasping, she yanked again at her hands. “You’re distracting me.”

“You’re not trying.”

She sucked in a sharp breath as he nudged aside the collar of her kefta and sucked on her skin. A reedy sound caught in her throat. “I could hurt you.”

“You could.” He licked the hollow of her throat. “I don’t believe you will, Alina.” He drew away from her neck, his nose following the curve of her jaw again. His lips brushed the shell of her ear, and his teeth caught the lobe. He tugged, and pleasure shot through her like lightning, ricocheting through her body.

And lightning was light and light was her power and she summoned it without thinking. Sunlight shattered the bonds on her wrists as she sank her hands into his hair and yanked him back to her mouth.

Hungry little moans spilled from her lips to his as she kissed him. His hand on her ass flexed, and she arched her back to press into his touch, which only served to have him yank her closer to him again—where she felt the beginnings of his desire against her stomach, even though the heavy layer of her kefta.

“Summon again,” he whispered against her mouth, his hand sweeping over her hip and to the front of her kefta. Fingers of flesh and darkness pulled open her belt and buttons.

She shrugged out of the heavy jacket, letting it fall to the ground as her fingers yanked at his silvery buttons. “I don’t want to.”

As he had, she kissed along the length of his jaw and then down the line of his throat, trying to imitate how he’d licked and sucked on her skin.

The sound he made when her teeth raked over his pulse made her shudder—and drew light to the tips of her fingers.

His fingers stroked down her sides, caught the white chemise tucked into her breeches, and pulled it free. Warm, human fingers caressed her over her stays alongside more cool, silky darkness, and she cried out against the skin of his throat.

“Summon for me, Alina. Show me your control.”

Control? She was supposed to be in control? Now?

Aleksander’s hands spread over her ribs, his thumbs brushing over her breasts through the fabric of her stays.

Burning tension drew through her.

Shadow sank beneath fabric. Two cool coils curled against her nipples, and she gasped.

“Banish the darkness, Alina.”

How was she supposed to find control when he purred her name like that? When he touched her like this, like no one else ever had? When she—Saints, the revelation crashed through her like a spring storm come down from Fjerda. “I don’t want to,” she gasped.

He went still against her, drawing back to peer into her face.

Heart pounding in her chest, she met his gaze, keenly aware that she was already half undressed, and if she tilted her head to the side, she’d see the tunic beneath his doublet and his skin behind that.

“What do you want?” he asked softly, quietly, as if the words might break the world.

She freed the final buckle of his doublet, danced her fingers up his chest, and loosened the laces at his throat. She licked her lips.

Beneath the confines of her skin, she burned, and fire, too, was light. She drew on that burn, on her own desire, and spooled a thread of it to the tips of her fingers. They glittered gold as she let them wander over his skin, her eyes lifting slowly to his.

Light spun off her fingers, reflecting in the darkness of his eyes. She felt it like an extension of her body, drifting over his skin.

Against her sides, his hands tightened. His pupils dilated as she watched, as her light twisted against his flesh like his shadows had against hers. One arch of light ran over his nipples beneath his clothes.

He surged against her, capturing her mouth in a devastating kiss.

Burying her fingers in his hair, she held his mouth to hers. Their tongues met, tangled, and delirious heat wound through her. More light spilled from her fingers, spinning around them both like ribbons.

Just as much as his hands, his shadows pulled at her clothes, loosening her stays, the cords of her breeches.

Cognizant that she’d be naked faster than him, her hands dropped to his shoulders and then lower. She pulled at his clothes, too, until he broke away from their kiss.

One hand cupped her jaw. His forehead rested against hers. “Where is your line?” he asked her.

Saints, she didn’t know. She’d never done this before, but she’d also never wanted someone’s mouth on her skin as much as she wanted his.

As if sensing her hesitation, he began to draw back—and she knew she didn’t want that.

So she ran her hands down his sides, his hips, his thighs as she went slowly to her knees.

His breathing turned ragged. The look in his eyes scorched her.

She knew enough about sex to know all the ways people could play with each other. She knew that all the ways she wanted his mouth on her, he could have her mouth on him.

Emboldened by the way he looked at her, she brushed her lips against the hard line of his cock through his breeches before she spread her kefta on the ground and leaned back on it. She pulled the laces on her breeches open, letting the front panel sag low on her belly, and met his gaze with trembling anticipation.

As if mesmerized, he knelt between her legs. When he leaned over her, she felt sheltered by the shadow of his form instead of caged. His hands pressed into her kefta above her shoulders, and he hovered above her.

“I want—I want to feel—what you said earlier,” she managed, feeling her cheeks heat with embarrassment. Not because she didn’t want him to touch her, to taste her, but because this was new, and she didn’t quite know what she was doing, and she worried about disappointing him.

The hot look in his gaze, the ragged cadence of his breath, all told her she probably didn’t need to worry about disappointing him.

“My mouth on you?” he asked.

She nodded.

Slowly, he lowered himself onto his forearms. His fingers threaded into her hair at her temples, and he kissed her slow and long, his mouth lingering on hers as though she were a treat to savor.

With a groan, she arched against the air, seeking the weight and comfort of his body and frustrated when she didn’t find it.

His tongue licked into her lips as he obliged her, settling against her.

She gasped into their kiss to feel him between her legs—she’d never thought too much about how she might feel the line of a man’s cock through his clothes and against her body, but, Saints, she adored it. The weight of him, the feel of him, filled her with a gnawing need.

“Is that all you want?” he asked her, each word its own kiss.

She licked her lips. Licked his lips. Gasped when that made him groan and roll his hips hard against hers.

Oh, but she liked that. Loved that. Sliding her palms down his back, she curved her hands over his ass and urged him to move like that against her again.

With a moan, her head fell back and her body arched in a sinuous line against his. More friction, more pleasure, and she lost his question in the labyrinth of fire his body created against hers.

“Alina.”

Her name on his lips only made her want more, only served to make her burn brighter.

“Alina.” He tipped her face back towards her, and she felt shadows on her legs again. The silky darkness curled around her calves, and she felt them release the buckles of her boots.

That. She needed to learn that.

“Tell me, Alina. Do you want more than my mouth on you?” The mouth in question drifted against her cheek, the whiskers of his beard a delicious rasp against her skin. “Do you want my shadows on your naked skin?”

“Yes,” she gasped, driving her fingers beneath his tunic. Grateful, she was so grateful men didn’t wear stays, because the thought of having to get through more fabric to feel his skin beneath her palms was abhorrent.

“Do you want to feel those shadows inside you?” he asked, his voice a low rumble against her ear. He timed that question with a slow, languid roll of his hips against hers so she couldn’t mistake his meaning.

And she didn’t. Her nails curled into his skin, pulling a hiss that dissolved into a wicked chuckle from him. “Yes. And—and then—”

“And then?” he prompted, when she didn’t finish.

Her teeth caught her lower lip. Talking about this seemed strange, but she liked it. It was difficult to put all these secret desires into words, but when she did, those words made her burn. Made her ache. Speaking her desires aloud only made her want them more.

“And then you.” She turned her head, her mouth stroking lightly against his cheek as he groaned and rocked against her again. “I want to feel you inside me, Aleksander.” He trembled against her, and she ached with pleasure. As much as he could unmake her like this, she had the power to do the same to him. “With your shadows around my wrists.”

She didn’t know what to make of the sound that escaped him, but then he kissed her with such a savage hunger, she realized she didn’t care. He liked the idea, and she burned for it.

Shadows and hands stripped her of her clothes. He held her back in an arch as inky darkness took her shirt; his mouth smoothed over her chest as pale hands pushed her stays off her shoulders.

He didn’t pause to draw back and stare at her. Instead, his tongue traced an ever-tightening circle around her breasts before he reached her nipple. He sucked the little nub between his lips as she cried out his name. His thumb dragged back and forth over the other as shadows pulled off and discarded her boots.

Thinking around the wet heat of his mouth proved nearly impossible, but she did manage to create thin, wavering tendrils of light. The heat from her light kept her from shivering—though she thought the heat from their bodies and desire would work just as well—and made him arch and twist against her body in the most delicious ways. Still, she couldn’t strip him naked as he’d stripped her, and she wanted to. Saints, she wanted to. Wanted to use her power the way he did.

“You’ll learn,” he murmured against her underside of her breast.

“Now you’re content with letting me take my time?”

He grinned at her, and that grin made him seem so much younger than he was. “Never.”

Shifting away from her, he settled on his knees between her legs, both of them shirtless. His gaze drifted over her body, and the heat in his eyes made her squirm.

A muscle in his jaw flexed as he muttered a coarse oath. “Watching you move—” He broke off, running his hands up her thighs. One of those hands curved inward, and now his eyes fixed on hers.

Curled knuckles brushed against her breeches.

She let out a shuddering little sigh and rocked toward his hand. “Please,” she murmured, feeling her cheeks flame.

Aleksander’s knuckles brushed against her cunt through the fabric of her pants.

Alina frowned.

He burst out laughing, leaning over her again. “That’s not the look you want to see on your lover’s face.” He kissed her, and she felt his hand shift, felt his palm cup her. The heel of his hand pressed against her pubic bone, and the frown melted into a wide-eyed look of delight. Of awe.

“That,” she gasped.

“Good?”

Her hips twisted, her body moving to push his hand to the right place. She’d touched herself, she knew what she wanted to feel, knew—

A keening moan fell from her lips, and he devoured the sound with a greedy kiss

His hand rocked against her, finding a rhythm with her, until she burned beneath him and mewls of pleasure became broken pleas for more.

“I promised you my mouth,” he reminded her as she carded her fingers in his hair to hold his lips against hers for more of those kisses.

Torn between two wants, she groaned. “Didn’t think this would be so hard,” she groused.

His brow arched.

“I want everything all at once.”

A thoughtful look crossed his face. “Stay still,” he told her, resting his forehead on hers again. His hand shifted away from her cunt, petting up and down her side as he closed his eyes.

She watched him, curious—and then she felt it. The swell of power, a cresting rise of cool shadow sliding over her belly. It shifted and rolled, shaping with his will into—

Alina jerked when a cool mouth brushed between her legs beneath the fabric of her pants.

Above her, Aleksander’s eyes opened. “Not too strange?” he asked as those cool lips kissed her thighs, her clit. As they kissed her entrance—as a cool tongue flicked against her.

She jerked again, her hips arching against his. She writhed, seeking the weight of his body between her legs and getting only the delicious torment of ephemeral shadow.

“Intoxicating.” His thumbs brushed over her lips as she twisted and arched beneath him, her eyes fluttering shut so she could focus on the feeling, the building pressure and pleasure and heat.

She dug her fingers into his shoulders, clutching him against her body as she sucked one of his thumbs between her lips. She needed something, some kind of action to help alleviate the tension inside her. Instead, grasping him close and sucking on him only made her ache more, only made her burn brighter.

“You have no idea how beautiful you look right now.” The dark timbre of his voice shook her. The cool touch of the tongue between her legs made her keen.

That shadow tongue curled around her clit and she sobbed his name.

“Fuck, Alina.”

The coarse language should have offended her. Instead, it inflamed her.

���Not enough,” he muttered, and one tongue of shadow became two.

The first continued flicking back and forth over her clit. The other thrust into her entrance, and her back bowed beneath him.

“Still not enough.”

His hand smoothed over her belly as she turned her face against his neck. Her hips worked hard against his shadows, shadows that continued to torment her when his hand slipped beneath her pants and cupped her.

The heat of his touch snapped the tension coiling inside her.

She came with a broken sob, her nails raking down his back. Pleasure overwhelmed her, but it wasn’t enough, wasn’t quite the feeling she craved. There was no weight to the mouths on her, and nothing of him was inside her.

“Please,” she gasped, trembling beneath him. “You promised.”

“I did.”

Aleksander slid down the length of her body, those shadow mouths continuing their sweet torment as more tendrils of darkness pulled her pants down her legs. She kicked them aside, and he slid his hands beneath her ass, lifting her off her kefta.

She thought she should be embarrassed when his eyes landed on her naked cunt, slick with her orgasm, but those mouths never stopped tasting her, never stopped tormenting her. It almost felt like too much.

Then his mouth, his hot, wet, hungry mouth descended on her, and she realized she’d been very fucking wrong.

Alina’s fingers dove into his hair. She heard herself beg for more as his lips closed around her clit and sucked, as shadow mouths wrapped around her nipples and tormented her entrance. One hand yanked away from his hair to drive through her own. She didn’t know what to do with herself, what part of his body or hers to touch, how to alleviate the wicked, demanding ache he created once more inside her.

And then, as his tongue flicked against her clit, painting strange patterns on her flesh that made her keen his name, ephemeral shadow became somehow solid. It pushed into her, parting slick folds to fill her, and she knew without any doubt that otkazat’sya men would never be able to give her what she’d crave with sex because she’d always want this—this slick, wicked science, this combination of magic and flesh.

He must have remembered what she’d said to him, because as her hands wandered through his hair, over his shoulders, over her own breasts, shadow coiled around them. Darkness tethered her wrists, pinning them together over her head.

With no outlet, all she could do was feel. Wet heat. Cool silk. Insistent tugs of his mouth, the hot flick of his tongue. She sobbed his name, and the darkness swirled inside her cunt, filling her with power. It dragged along tender flesh, stroking her as he withdrew it, and filled her with a raging fire when he pushed it back into her.

She came a ragged cry, her hips arching against his mouth, against the shadows that filled her.

He grasped her hips and drew himself up her body. His mouth crashed against hers in a brutal kiss. She drowned in it, in sensation, in wet and wicked heat as his fingers petted between her legs and her cunt rippled and clenched around the darkness still inside her.

“You’re delicious,” he whispered against her mouth as she writhed beneath him, twisting against the shadows tethering her arms and against his body above hers. “You still want me—”

Her eyes snapped open and met his. “If you don’t give me what I want, I will learn the Cut just to use it on you.”

That didn’t motivate him, but it did make him lick at her lips. “What do you want, Alina?”

She groaned, her heels scrabbling over the rough grass, her hips arching into his stroking fingers.

“Do you want me inside you?” The murmured words were decadent against her lips, better than any sweet she’d ever eaten. “Do you want my cock stretching your sweet cunt open?” Two fingers slid inside her, the heat of him replacing the cool darkness, and she cried out with delicious shock. How good his fingers felt, burning hot by comparison to his shadows. “Do you want me to fill you until you can’t take anymore? To grind myself against you until you’re begging for me to move?”

She had no idea how good the fantasy he painted might actually feel, but her body certainly wanted it. She felt her cunt squeeze around his fingers, an involuntary contraction that made her moan.

He shifted over her, drawing his fingers out of her. She dragged her eyes open to watch him pull back and strip off his pants. Had just enough time to see his cock, hard and flushed, before he leaned back over her. The head of it nudged against her entrance, his fingers playing once more against her cunt—as much to torment her, she was sure, as to guide his cock into her.

But he didn’t push inside. Instead, he lingered at her entrance, and the tease was unbearable.

“Please,” she gasped, arching, twisting, yanking hard against the shadows that pinned her arms above her head.

He gave her the most infuriating smile—lopsided, smug. “We came here for a lesson,” he reminded her, bending his lips to her chest. He nipped her skin at the swell of one breast, making her jump beneath him, only to soothe the sting with a long stroke of his tongue. Still his cock nudged her entrance but didn’t push into her. “Call the light, Alina.”

For the first time, summoning was easy. She burned, she ached, her skin stretched tight over the swell of glittering pleasure, and that was all her power. She drew it through her body from her hands, and it sparkled over her arms and down her chest, casting scintillating patterns on his skin.

“Collect it, shape it,” he murmured. “Show me what you’ve learned.”

Show him? The fact that she could summon while he drove her out of her mind should have been enough, but of course he’d expect more from her.

“Come now, Alina.” Fuck him for that phrasing. “Impress me.”

She shuddered beneath him, trying to separate herself from the pleasure he’d coaxed through her so far. She couldn’t, not entirely—she didn’t want to—but she found a quiet place in her mind where the pleasure was warm and soft instead of an inferno, and in that space she urged it into a shape.

Light formed into a tongue, and she ran it from the base of his cock to the tip.

He arched sharp against her with a curse, burying himself in her cunt in a single stroke, and Alina moaned his name as she arched beneath him. Full, she felt so delicious full, and though there was a slight discomfort in the first second, that faded a moment later when her cunt rippled around him.

A different sort of pleasure spread through her, and she purred.

Her eyes opened. He stared down at her, his expression the most delicious combination of aroused and surprised and delighted. A lopsided, smug smile spread across her lips, a mirror of his from earlier.

“Impress me,” she said.

With a ragged chuckle, he bent his mouth to hers. “With pleasure, solnishko.”

He drew back slowly, and she sighed with pleasure. He thrust back into her, her hips arching to meet him, and she moaned. As he found an easy pace with her, she let herself down in the sweet friction.

The bonds around her wrist stretched. Fingers twined around her own, and she held them tight as he fucked her in long, easy strokes. Each time he pushed into her, her back bowed, and her body softened more.

She lost herself in their back and forth, content to float in the warmth of their shared pleasure. But he didn’t let her for long. His lips brushed against her ear. “Once more for me,” he told her.

She recognized the warning in those words a moment later when shadow tongues licked against her clit.

Electric pleasure strung her tight. Now, she clutched at the shadow hands holding her own as silky darkness licked her, as cool fingers stroked the swollen lips of her cunt. He played with her, layering her pleasures until she gasped his name and begged for him. Only then did he replace one shadow hand with his own and the shadows between her legs with his fingers.

The heat of him ruined her, shattered her. She came with his name on her lips, and he followed her mere seconds later, his body shuddering over hers.

They lay together, panting, for a long moment. Then he drew back, the cool shadows retreating as his cock slipped out of her body. Instead of pulling away entirely, he settled at her side, giving her most of the kefta.

She turned toward him, her fingers brushing over his jaw, his lips, his shoulders. “Are all your lessons in control going to turn out like this?” she asked him.

He made a thoughtful expression.

Scooting closer, Alina pressed a kiss to his mouth. “I’ve an idea for another lesson if you don’t.”

His brow arched. “Do you?”

“I want to try binding your wrists with light.” Interest flashed in his eyes, and she smiled. “I want to push you into your chair in the war room and bind your hands to its arms. Then I want to climb onto you and ride you.”

He stared at her, the look on his face equal parts aroused and bewildered. “You—”

“I grew up near farms,” she reminded him. “And then joined the military. Believe me: I have plenty of ideas for lessons.”

“You think you can keep control long enough to keep me bound to that chair?” he asked, a wicked growl in his voice.

Her body responded to that tone with a wash of pleasure, and she found herself hungry for more of him even though they’d just finished. Part of her wondered if that was normal—and she got her answer when he rolled her beneath him.

“The minute your control breaks, solnishko, I’m going to put you on your back on that table and fuck you until your screams summon the guards at a run.”

Wrapping her arms and legs around him, Alina grinned. “Maybe I’ll make you beg for that.”

With his face buried in her neck, he laughed. “I hope you do.”

#darklina #shadow and bone #sab #fanfic #alina starkov #the darkling #aleksander morozova

[amiramorozova]

Dual Summoner x The Darkling pt. 41

Pairing: Dual Summoner Amira Silina x The Darkling General Kirigan/Aleksander Morozova Word count: 3482

glossary: Moye Serdtse- My heart

I looked at the window and saw it was morning but the sun hadn't come up yet, but I couldn't feel like sleeping at the moment. I got up as I knew that was different and I felt him nearby before I heard the knock on the door realizing he was awake too. Getting up I walked over to the door putting my hand on it knowing he was on the other side of the door but I didn't know if I wanted to open the door.

"Amira, I know you're on the other side of the door, I shouldn't have said what I did yesterday." Aleksander said as I knew that he knew what it was like to be alone. With my family here and within the distance of me I still felt all alone but hid it. It couldn't change all the years of feeling lonely and different with no choice but to feel like I had to hide. "I want to talk, I know we just did but...that was different." 

I've thrown away my resistance and this connection is just getting stronger. I thought 

I reached for the knob of the door as I opened it seeing him there, as we looked at each other there was just silence now. He stepped closer to me as he put a hand on my cheek and I put a hand over his as we looked at each other. "I want everything you saw in my dream." I said as he looked at me. "Everything your heart wants I will give you, I see now you truly don't have any desire to rule Ravka but if I would obtain the throne you will rule by my side and still have your freedom you desire." Aleksander said 

I smiled knowing he was true to his word and I nod knowing that this was going to be it. I was all in for the wedding while Marie and Nadia were having their doubts about what I said. We ended up going to his room and resting there for the night. I ended up sleeping a bit better than when I woke up I yawned but as I opened my eyes I felt his lips capture mine in a kiss. I kissed him back as he soon pulled away looking at me while he hovered over me. 

"Such a strong Dual Summoner, what if the future holds a Dual Summoner like you?" Aleksander asked as I knew what he was implying. I went to answer his question but then I felt his lips latch onto my neck as I gasped in surprise. "Aleksander.." I said as I had a good idea what he was implying. He looked at me smirking a bit "Tonight, not this morning." He assured me as we kissed once more before he got up and he helped me up.

Once I was up I left to go to my room where I got bathed, saw Genya, and let her do her natural gift as she must have noticed something was up. "Did something happen with the General last night?" Genya asked as I looked at her. "We got into a fight, but we made up this morning." I assured her knowing that now he had a plan to get that little girl. "Genya, have you ever heard of two summoners being able to enter the other's dream?" I asked 

Genya looked at me as if I said something surprising but I knew that there was nothing that could be done about it. We were two sides of the same coin bound by the stag bones and this connection between us that we both still didn't understand. "No, I have not heard of it but has it happened?" Genya asked as I nod before relaxing my eyebrows while letting her do my makeup then opened them. "Yeah, we were in my dream last night together." I shared it with her as she was surprised. "Well then you and the General must be very close." Genya said

I can't tell you just how close we are. I thought 

I still wanted to get Genya away from the Queen but that had a lot of work and the Queen didn't deserve Genya. She was just a whipping girl for the Queen and so far they hadn't known what was the cause of the King's contagion so that was good. When she was done I smiled "thank you Genya, I must return for breakfast." I said as she nodded. Since he was expecting me I walked in and saw the table was already there as I walked over sitting across from him as we were eating. It was quiet much of what we had to say to each other was said this morning but we heard a lot of movement so once we were done walking we were overseeing some kind of training thing being built.

"Botkin is up to something, it is clear the Grisha are to climb this thing to the top." Aleksander said as we saw some of the Grisha already out there. Among them were Marie and Nadia who looked curious but as I watched for a few minutes this thing was going to have moving levels making it hard to climb. "You don't have to do this." Aleksander said to me as I looked at him knowing my cousin was probably checking it out.

I started walking towards the door "I think I will participate, after all I can't let Zoya think she's the best." I said as I looked at him "Keep watching." Then I left without another word as I went out there seeing that people were falling off and landing on the ground with their Kefta. Botkin had outdone himself as I saw gloves were given for this thing and started to put it on as I heard laughing behind me so I looked. "You came out here after all, it would be humiliating for you to lose, right?" Zoya asked as I just smiled. "I don't have to win, just get farther than you as the General's future wife." I said calmly 

Zoya glared at me as I knew she was his favorite before I was out as a Dual Summoner. She was getting to tumble with him before he meant something to me and now she was nothing to him. A distraction while he waited for his equal to surface as Botkin walked over. "Dual Summoner Amira Silina and Zoya Nazyalensky, be fair about this." Botkin said 

Once we were let go on the course, I jumped and grabbed one of the ladders as I climbed up getting to the moving part of the obstacle area then started to climb up. I could feel Aleksander watching me as I started to get to the top. "You don't just give up, do you?" Zoya said on the other side as I watched someone get knocked off by one of these bars that could be pushed in or pulled out as I grabbed one and pushed it in hearing her scream but then kinda gave an annoyed sound as I laughed a bit. "Nope, not gonna give up." I said 

Reaching the top was the goal and though I almost slipped grabbing one in time as I sighed. I reached for another one and pulled it out this time hearing her fall as I smiled. I was having fun with this as I kept going, reaching the top and getting the item on hand as I laughed. Zoya got to the top seeing me with it and she looked annoyed as she put her hands together and used air to knock me off. I didn't have time to react as I figured I would hit hard on the ground but then I felt arms suddenly catch me as I looked to see who caught me seeing Nico.

"Are you ok?" Nico asked with concern in his eyes as I just literally fell but wondered where he had come from to be there in time. Marie and Nadia also came over to check on me as they didn't see any scratches but I suddenly became aware of how dangerous this thing was. "Are you ok?" Marie and Nadia asked as Nico put me on my feet. 

"I'm fine." I assured them as Botkin told Zoya to get down there and then scolded her for knocking me off. Alina cem over to check on me "Are you ok?" Alina asked as I nod knowing that it was a bit dangerous what Zoya did. "Zoya and I have always been in a rivalry ever since General Kirigan and I became engaged." I let Alina know

Alina was shocked to hear about me and Zoya but it was what it was. "When is the wedding?" Alina asked as I saw Zoya looking over, hearing Alina's question and then I looked at her. "Soon, possibly in three days depending on what we do." I said to Alina with a smile as Marie and Nadia looked at me surprised. "I know what I said last night guys but I still love him and he is my soulmate so maybe it's not everything we think." I said to them confusing Alina. "Sorry, we had a talk last night." 

Aleksander came out soon enough as he walked over to me making sure I was unharmed which thanks to Nico I didn't have a single hurt area. "I guess you were right about your friend staying, it seems he is more useful than the first army." Aleksander said as I kept myself from saying I told you so. He looked over at Zoya but I put my hand on his arm as he looked at me again. "Just make her attend the wedding, it's punishment enough to send a message." I said 

I knew that sending her off to reevaluate her values was not going to benefit us in any way. I wanted her there to see me become his wife and make it clear she'd never get to be with him ever again. Aleksander seemed to calm down but I knew he wanted to make her leave again but I could tell he was jealous of Nico still being around. Nico was turning to leave when Aleksander turned to him. "Nico." Aleksander said as Nico was still hesitant but he chose his words wisely. "General Kirigan." Nico said.

The anger coming off of Nico was present, the jealousy of Aleksander was there but he was keeping his composure. "Thank you for being there to save Amira when she was airborne." Aleksander said, "Your going to be apart of her guards from now on and not sent back to first army." Nico seemed to be surprised since a simple thank you for saving me was good but Aleksander went another step up. "She's spoken to me on your behalf to be kept here, that can only be if you have a position here. Amira will be getting a rise in rank as a leader of the Dual Summoners once we are married but she'll still need a guard who will sacrifice everything for her that she trusts. You're a tracker with an extremely good gift that isn't to be overlooked." 

Nico looked at me and I was ecstatic that he was going to be staying and that he would be a part of my protection. "Of course, The Dual Summoner who holds the power of the sun is going to be targeted by most. Might I suggest some heartrenders?" Nico asked as I knew there were not many I knew. "It's all in Amira's preference. She doesn't like my heartrender very much." Aleksander said as I laughed a bit knowing it wasn't a secret that I disliked Ivan. 

Baghra came out as I was glad she was always doing well and walked over to me to see we were doing well. "I see you and the General are still doing well." Baghra said, "We are." I said as she nodded, then looked at Aleksander "So when is the wedding?" Baghra asked as I looked at my friends knowing they wanted to know that too. I gave an idea of when it might be but that was just a guess. "Three days from now, the fabricators are working on things as we speak." Aleksander said 

Everyone was surprised with the announcement, except those I'd talked to about it, Zoya was annoyed with it but I was loving it. Aleksander took my hand kissing the top of it "See you later tonight." Aleksander said before walking off. 

I left the area as Marie and Nadia followed me. "So you know the truth about him and you're still going through with this?" Marie asked as I looked at Marie surprised. She did believe me after all. "Our connection is very strong, he was in my dream last night. After you two walked away we ended up in a fight so I had slept in my room but the dream revealed my inner desires. I want this marriage and I want kids someday." I said as they looked surprised. "We all should be moving up to get our assignments anyway so that's good." I said to them

"We want to be there to support you along this journey." Nadia said as we soon came across Genya. "Well it's good you do, because you both will be needing fitted for the dresses to attend the wedding." Genya told them as they ran off. It hadn't dawned on me till that moment how much had to be prepared and I was nervous. "You are going to be fine Amira, you handle things so well." Genya said

I thought of what Aleksander said in the dream that he sees my true desires and that he wants to give me everything that was there but I knew deep down he wanted me to do his plan. He still wanted me to get close to Prince Nikolai; it wasn't going to go away and I knew that. I also knew that I couldn't be seen in public wearing my wedding ring if I went places with Prince Nikolai and when I would become pregnant I would have to be hidden for a while. 

You say you want to give me everything my heart desires but I know you won't give up the idea that I might just go down your choice. I thought 

I had to rub my arm knowing I could look at him, I could say no to him and he would wait for me to come around. He always knew how to win in his fights and I was going to be his opponent but this was going to be my fight too. Still, I had to work on what was going to happen. As we were walking I wasn't paying attention when I ran into someone. Looking up I saw Prince Nikolai "Moi tsarevich, I wasn't paying attention to where I was going." I said apologizing. 

"No, no. I was looking for you, I was wondering if you'd come with me to the villages again." Prince Nikolai said

I didn't want to get anywhere near him or get him more involved with what was going on but I knew Aleksander wanted to get close with the royals. He had some plans in his mind "Genya give us time to talk." I said as she nodded leaving us where no one was around. "You kissed me in public the last time, I don't know if that is such a good idea." I said. I saw him realize I was holding strong but I was fighting with my decision. I told Aleksander and my desires. "I am sorry for those actions, but this is to let you get to know me. People are going to need you to help them across the fold sometime soon." Prince Nikolai said 

I knew that a lot was going on but I sighed "Fine but Nico has to come with us." I said as he was surprised. Nico was still a dear friend to me and no one was going to change that, so when we walked to the stables the people in the stables noticed me getting Aleksander's horse ready and a horse for the Prince. Nico arrived too so they got one for him too as I took the reins of the horse and got on as we headed out. I could feel Aleksander's staring at me as I looked back, seeing him looking out his window as he nodded. 

don't get any ideas.  I thought 

Nico noticed I looked back before looking forward as I had the horse slow to be behind Prince Nikolai and Nico rode the horse beside me as I just realized he was in different attire. He was given a Kefta with no design on it except my symbol on the area where it was located. "You seem to have a lot on your mind, need to talk about it?" Nico asked as I looked forward. "He wanted me to marry him in secret but marry this prince publicly." I admitted while Prince Nikolai seemed to focus on the destination. "That isn't who you are." Nico said as I didn't know who Amira was anymore.

I am more than the Dual Summoner, I am still a person but I have my human connections. I thought 

When we made it to Keramsan, I realized how far we were as we kept traveling by horse. I got down once we stopped and I looked around knowing this was where I started when I ran. "Feels good, doesn't it?" Prince Nikolai asked as he pointed over to my grandmother's house and I saw my family sitting in there talking. "When did you.." I knew they were in the little palace with me but that was after everything. "I saw they wanted to come back out, your cousin will follow you anywhere you go but this is their home." Prince Nikolai said as he offered his hand to me. "You deserve freedom too once in awhile." 

I hesitated because the more I tasted freedom without Aleksander the more I would question if he was what I wanted. I knew that was not fair to me when I decided but somehow I always ended up this way. "Ravka's throne and freedom to do as you please, what do you think?" Prince Nikolai asked as I looked at him in shock. 

He doesn't give up. I thought 

We started walking to the house "I have a ship that can take you anywhere you want, get as far away from here as possible." Prince Nikolai said as I was shocked and the thought made my heart hurt. "I can't..I can't just leave everyone." I said as we walked till we got to the house and I opened the door walking in. This was never about going anywhere it was getting away from the little palace as we all talked. Prince Nikolai waited outside as I went to everyone as they all looked at me.

"The day has been set, in three days I'm going through with it." I said

Father got up as he looked at me walking over and he placed a hand on my shoulder "No, I shouldn't have agreed to it. You are not marrying him." Father said as I sighed. "I want this, I want to marry him. If things go wrong, I'll manage and as long as I have Marie, Nadia and Nico I can do what I need. He wants to have the sea whip soon so we'll see where that goes." I said 

A lot of talking was done and I didn't care if they agreed or not, my decision was made as I talked with everyone until it was getting dark. I left and I knew they would be there or they would not be but I made my choice as we decided this.  I felt good about things for now as I soon went to his war room as he pulled me to him kissing me. All my doubts and worries evaporated in this kiss as I kissed him back.

"Moye Serdtse, did you have a good day with the sobachka?" Aleksander asked

"He seems still intent to make me Queen if he can." I said as Aleksander looked at me seeing I almost considered it. "He offered you a better deal?" Aleksander asked, "Same deal as before getting to lay with you and rule Ravka but he offered me freedom." I said as he kissed me. "The idea of another man getting to touch you has started to anger me." Aleksander said against my lips

yet it was your idea. I thought 

Taglist: @lifeisingrey

#aleksander morovoza #dual summoner #general kirigan #prince nikolai #the darkling #darkling #team darkling #darkling x reader #shadow and bone #shadow and bone fanfiction #grishaverse #sunsummoner #tidemaker #ben barnes #fanfic

[cami-chats]

Tailor Your Wishes

Fandom: Shadow and Bone (TV)

Pairing: Alina Starkov/Genya Safin

Warnings: None

On AO3

Genya showed up in Alina's room, just like she did every morning.

What Alina used to find invasive and controlling, she was now thankful for. Not because of the work Genya did on her, making her scars vanish and all around making her appear more attractive-- because she couldn't care less about that, to be honest. No, she was thankful because after all her time here, Genya was her closest friend. Genya tailoring her was part of her job, yes, but it allowed them guaranteed time together; she didn’t think of this as any different than talking over breakfast. 

With no word from Mal, it was nice to know that she had someone around that liked her. It was probably a classist thought and half the reason nobody liked grisha, but she felt like she could connect with Genya in a way she wouldn't be able to with a normal person, anymore. (Mal, as her oldest and greatest friend, was of course an exception, but sometimes, with no word from him and not having seen him since she found out about her power, she wondered if their friendship would be the same, or if that too would change.) Point is, Genya was definitely the best friend she had here, and Alina felt like she didn't know much about her. Her job, around court, was to see to the queen's appearance, but that wasn't something that took up all of her time every day. While Alina was training, Genya was surely doing something, but she had no idea what.

Genya was doing her usual touch-up, and Alina asked, "What do you do? When you aren't with me or the queen, I mean."

"Same as everyone else. Train, eat, sleep."

"I've never seen you at training."

Genya's lip quirked up in one corner. "I mean this in the nicest way possible, but I am above your level."

"Oh. Duh," Alina said with a laugh. She straightened her expression so it was easier for Genya to work, and it was only when she packed up her little case that Alina spoke again. "What would you do if you weren't here? I would go back to being a cartographer."

"You could go back to your normal life, if you wished. Suppress your powers and pretend that nothing has happened. I have no past to get back to. I've never known a life where I wasn't a grisha."

"What would you do if you could leave here, then?"

"I wouldn't care to guess," Genya said, but Alina could tell it was a lie.

"It's just me. I won't tell."

Genya swallowed, her hands resting atop her case. "A sculptor."

"Why don't you do it now? Surely you could get your hands on the supplies you need," Alina said.

"I don't have the time or the space. My appearance around the castle is almost as important to the queen as what I do for her. I'm not allowed to hide away in a room for hours at a time."

Alina couldn't say she understood. She had a few appearances and her training, but the rest of her time wasn't so strictly regimented. She'd known that her situation was different from all the other grisha, but she hadn't realized how different.

*

"Aleksander," Alina said with a wide smile.

There was a slight furrow between his brows because while they'd been getting closer, she wasn't that happy to see him. "Alina," he returned.

"I was wondering if I could ask you something. About Genya."

"Of course."

"You gifted her to the queen, right?"

He quirked a smile. "That is the party line."

Alina blinked. Party line? Then what was the truth?

"We answer to our monarchs, just like everyone else does. The queen knew we had a tailor in the Little Palace. We either gave her Genya's services to garner a little goodwill, or we waited for it to become a demand. The end result would've been the same for her."

"I see." She hadn't really been around other grisha and the court for long enough to understand the politics of it all.

"You're worried about her," he stated, and Alina nodded. "She won't be working for them for the rest of her life. Things will change for all grisha, soon. You'll see." 

He meant her. The two of them, the Fold, her powers. She didn't understand all the plans he had in his head, but she believed him.

*

Genya was her best friend. Alina just thought that she might... think of her as something other than that as well. She thought of Genya in the morning and before she went to sleep and after training when she shook off the exhaustion and disappointment on her way to eat. Thinking about Genya made her feel better. It made her want.

Alina sighed. She wasn't overly used to wanting things, but ever since she found out she was a grisha, she wanted a dozen different things that she couldn't have. She wanted to not get hit by Baghra; she wanted to be able to leave the palace freely; she wanted to hold Genya's hand and kiss her. All these problems were easier than the issues she used to have-- such as not knowing if she was going to be able to eat or not-- but that didn't mean she had to like it.

"If you could wish for one thing," Alina said as her and Genya walked side by side to her rooms, "what would it be?"

"Only one thing?"

"Sure."

"Is there a reason you have all these impossible hypotheticals?" Genya asked, but she looked amused, not annoyed.

"Just curious. So?"

"You first. Tell me, Alina Starkova, modern Saint and sun summoner, what would you wish for?"

If Genya had asked that when she first got here, she would've said freedom. She still dreamed, sometimes, about leaving her and being a simple map-maker again, but the longer she was here, the less it made sense. Her powers were part of her. She wasn't going to try and leave them behind. So what would she wish for, when going back to her old life was no longer what she wanted? "For the Little Palace to be completely separate from the king and queen," she said, keeping her voice low so it didn't carry. "So that none of us have to answer for them, performing little tricks to keep them happy."

Genya looked at her, surprised.

"We could just... be."

"It sounds like you've accepted that you're a grisha."

"Took me long enough," Alina said with a grin. "Your turn. What would you wish for?"

Genya looked away, towards the hall in front of them instead of at Alina. "I don't know," she lied. "There's so many things I would change if I could."

"Pick one. Or better yet, tell me all of them." Alina opened her door and invited Genya inside with a wave of her hand.

Genya did, closing the door behind her and leaning against it. Her expression was thoughtful, and her eyes looked like her mind was in another country. "I suppose... if I had to choose one thing, it would be to choose my partner. Unless General Kirigan gets his grisha revolution done soon, the queen gets to choose who I marry. I'll be all but sold off to whoever she wants, and I'm sure you've noticed that she doesn't have everyone else's best interests at heart. So if I could wish for one thing, that's what it would be."

Alina hadn't known that part of Genya's fate. She was starting to accept that she truly didn't know anything about how normal grisha lived. Aleksander treated her as uniquely special, and that was what she'd gotten used to; in the beginning, she'd thought that all grisha were treated that way, and she still didn't know all of the differences. For Genya's sake alone, Alina hoped that they managed to get the revolution that Kirigan was working towards. "I would wish that for you too."

Genya looked over her, then smiled softly. "I'll see you in the morning."

"You can stay for a bit longer. If you want."

She hesitated.

"Truly, I would enjoy your company."

"I suppose a few minutes wouldn't hurt."

Alina grinned. 

It took her a while to get to sleep that night. She kept turning over Genya's answer in her mind. She thought of the smile Genya gave her afterwards, and then the time they'd spent talking and giggling for nearly an hour. It had been like a dream come true. She'd wanted to brush her hair away from her face and kiss her so many times in that hour that she'd lost count.

*

For a moment, Alina thought that Kirigan was going to kiss her. Then he leaned back and a soft smile came across his face; she never would've thought that he could be soft, but in this moment, he was. It made it all the more confusing that he hadn't kissed her, because that's definitely where it had been heading. She may not have kissed very many people, but she wasn't stupid; she could read the signs. "It's Genya, isn't it," he said.

"What's Genya?"

He raised an eyebrow. "Who you're in love with. It used to be that First Army friend of yours, but now it's her."

"I-" she started to deny it, but what would be the point? It's not like Aleksander was going to judge her for it. For him to have guessed it so easily, she must have been obvious about it. "Don't tell her."

"Do you think she and I gossip?" he asked, both looking and sounding amused.

"I don't know," Alina said honestly. "But I know that she doesn't feel that way about me, and I'm not going to make her question our friendship when it means everything to me."

Now he looked like he was about to start laughing. "Usually, I do not meddle in any of my people's relationships, but might I make a suggestion?"

"Sure," she said, because what else could she say?

"You should tell her. Genya is a grown, mature woman. She's rejected dozens of offers, some of which were made by people she is still on good terms with. I think you have nothing to worry about."

"Does that mean if it goes wrong I can blame you?"

"Blame me for everything, if it'll make you feel better," Aleksander said.

"I will."

*

Genya was there in the morning, as usual. She ran a critical, detached eye over Alina's face to see if the changes were still holding. They were, so she stepped back and buckled her case closed.

"Can I talk to you about something?" Alina asked before she could pick it up and leave.

"Of course," she said, turning back to face her. "If it's about your upcoming performance, you don't need to worry. You're more than ready."

"It's not, but thanks. I was actually uh, wondering if you had plans for dinner tonight. I thought we could eat together, alone. Just the two of us."

"Oh," Genya said, blinking at her in surprise. It wasn't often that Genya looked surprised, but she'd clearly been taken off guard with that. She knew what Alina meant by the invitation, and with their eyes locked on each other, it was like the rest of the world had ceased to exist but for this room. For a heart-stopping moment, Alina worried that she would say no. It was, of course, well within her right to refuse, but the possibility of rejection had Alina nervous beyond reason. "Yes, that sounds quite nice," she said, a light blush staining her cheeks.

Alina started to smile, happiness filling her as it creeped across her face. "Great. Don't worry, I'll take care of everything. You'll be able to relax and- enjoy yourself. I'll see you tonight," Alina said, then wanted to slap herself. "I mean, that's if I don't see you at lunch, like I normally do. I don't know why today would be any different, but you never know when a tailoring emergency will occur." Alina pressed her lips together so she wouldn't keep going.

"Well, whether or not we see each other at lunch or at any other point during the day, I will still look forward to tonight," Genya said, and it made Alina feel better that Genya was flustered by this too. 

#fanfic #shadow and bone #my writing

[secret-kkh-fics]

Light Casts a Shadow - Chapter 1

This chapter is now avaliable on AO3!!!

Chapter Summary:

Bagra whisks Alina away into the bows of the castle, telling her the ‘truth’ and insisting she flee, Alina is put in a spin. She wonders if Bagra was telling the truth and if Aleksander was lying to her. Or if it might be the other way around. She wonders about her new friends, and her old one, and what her place in all of this is.

Author Note:

I know there’s a thousand and one plots out here like this, but damn it, it’s a good one, so who cares. This is my take on it. I kinda binged the show and the books in a week, so there will be a mix of both in here, but mostly based off the show.

One thing I find super interesting about reworking this scene is that they made Bagra way more manipulative and Aleksander much more… emotional and human. Show!Aleks seemed like he legitimately fell in love with Alina, as opposed to Book!Aleks whose manipulations were so cold and obvious that of course Alina got the fuck out of there. In the show, there’s more room for her to doubt and think that she could maybe draw him back. So, I’m going to have fun playing around with that dynamic.

A Stupid Decision

Alina watched as Aleksander left, her heart still racing, a coy smile still pulling at her lips where she could still feel the kiss he'd rushed back to give her. She let out a slow breath to try and still her racing heart but was unable to wipe the smile from her face. She could barely believe that had just happened!

She'd barely been able to believe it since she'd surprised the both of them by kissing him that morning. It was an impulse, and when he'd drawn up to his full height, she remembered how dread had filled her that she'd overstepped the line. But then the start of that smile that set butterflies free in her stomach began to tug at his lips, and before she knew it, she was kissing him again. It had been interesting and thrilling throughout the day to see the small gestures of affection he showed her amongst his usual stoicism.

Telling her how lovely she looked, giving her flowers. She was certain that there would be a lot of gossip in the morning. She may be new at this, but she was sure that they were not being very subtle. The thought made her giggle. She could only imagine Nadia and Marie insisting on her telling them the real story and pestering her for every detail. She wondered how they'd react to know that they'd kissed… and that he had practically thrown her up on top of his war table and…

 A sudden creaking sound filled the air, and out of the corner of her eye, she saw a door swing open where there hadn't been one before. Quickly, she created a large ball of sunlight to defend herself but paused when she saw the familiar figure holding the door open, lantern in hand.

"Come with me," the old woman ordered.

"Baghra?! What are you…?" She let the sunlight go out.

"Stupid girl!" she hissed, striding over and grabbing her by the wrist, dragging her back towards the secret door. "No time to dawdle."

"N-no!"

"You need to leave this place," she insisted. She placed a hand on her back and forcefully guided her through the door.

"What? Why?" she demanded.

What had happened? Was there an attack? Was she being hunted? She hadn't heard a ruckus outside the door, but Aleksander had been urgently called away. It was something important enough he'd felt the need to keep his guards outside the door to make sure she was safe.

"Now, before it's too late."

"Baghra, why?"

Baghra reached up to the wall beside her and pulled a lever that closed the door before she finally answered. "I'm trying to save you living the rest of your life as a slave." And with that, she walked on ahead, down the narrow passage and the stairs before them. And this time, Alina followed. If not, just because she wanted answers.

"A Slave? But… Baghra!" Ugh, the old woman was always so frustrating. She kept moving and wasn't giving her a straight answer. Instead, she had to chase after her. "Whatever’s wrong, I should go back and find Aleks- General Kirigan,” she corrected herself. “I’m sure he can help.”

Baghra paused. “I’m trying to save you from Aleksander.” Then she carried on, leaving Alina stunned on the step.

Her head spun. What on earth was Baghra talking about?! Aleksander wouldn’t enslave her. He wouldn’t hurt her. He… he cared about her. They had been kissing only moments ago, and she was sure that she would have been in the cells from the get-go if he wanted her as a slave.

Looking back down the hall, where Aleksander was, where she wanted to go, she had to turn back and follow the old woman who just kept moving along.

“He intends to expand the Fold and use it as a weapon,” she went on. “That’s what he created it for in the first place.”

Hold on, what? Okay, Baghra had to be going insane. “The Black Heretic created the Fold,” she said. Everyone knew that. “Hundreds of years ago, and it was a mistake! Maybe you’re dehydrated from all the heat in your hut. He wanted me to train so I could get stronger!”

She finally managed to cut in front of her and force her to a stop. “Did he?” she replied patronisingly. “Or did he want you distracted by dreams of your future with him?” Anger bubbled up in her. How dare she? And how did she even know…? “Did he want you dependant on him, on his Fabrikator’s tricky little gloves?”

“No,” she said, shaking her head. He wouldn’t. These were all words from a bitter old woman. He wouldn’t do that to her. “No!”

“Child,” her tone, for once, was almost sympathetic. “Aleksander is the Black Heretic. He chose a nobleman’s name to hide after he made the Fold.”

It all sounded so absurd.

“You’re lying.”

“Look at me, girl!” she demanded. Then, with a twist of her hand, the room around them fell into darkness as shadows surrounded them, making Alina look about in shock. Her heart froze in her chest.

She was a Shadow Summoner.

“You can… But only Kirigan’s bloodline…” His bloodline. Oh, that’s when it hit her. She was his bloodline. “You’re his mother.”

“My son tried creating his own army with merzost,” she answered, letting the shadows seep away and the light return. “He didn’t think about the people who lived there, what such power would do to them. Turned them into the twisted, evil things that attacked you.”

Baghra’s words sunk in, and she felt her heart sinking with them. “Volcra were men?”

“And women. Children.” She had tears in her eyes as she spoke now, and her words became a whisper. “I warned him there’d be a price.” And again, she abruptly walked on, sweeping past and leaving Alina behind to process what she’d just been told.

Part of her still refused to believe it. It just… it didn’t sound like Aleksander. And he’d said it was his ancestor, not him. He was nowhere near that old. She’d heard a rumour he was over a hundred, but no one could live for that long. No one could be as old as the Fold.

“That was hundreds of years ago!” she cried, rushing after Baghra.

“He’s had many names, served many kings, faked countless deaths… waiting for you.”

She’d led them to some kind of storage room, and as she looked around, she led them to a large, old picture frame and pulled the cloth off it to reveal a familiar figure.

Aleksander.

The details weren’t perfect, the artist’s style making it seem a little off, but it was recognisably him.

“With you at his command,” she went on, “he’ll be able to enter the Fold and weaponise it as he always planned. He’ll be unstoppable.”

“He told me he wanted to make the country whole again,” she said, unable to take her eyes off the portrait.

Maybe he was older than he’d said he was… but that didn’t mean his intentions were different. It was all he talked about. Bringing down the Fold…

“He’s had centuries to master lying to naïve girls.” This finally drew Alina’s eyes to her, and her voice suddenly grew mocking. “Did he tell you how lonely he was? Give you a glimpse of the wounded boy? He isn’t a boy at all. He is eternal. And you never stood a chance.” Alina wanted to scream at her that it wasn’t true. That she was lying. But she couldn’t help her mind running over every moment the two of them had spent together. Everything he’d ever said to her through the filter of deception… “Did you think this was just about you? He’s been obsessed with power, with hunting all of Morozova’s creatures. You nearly gave him the stag.” She looked up at her, confused about how she’d done such a thing, but the woman continued on. “And I’m telling you, you must hide.”

Again, Baghra was off, walking away and leaving her behind to stare at the imperfect but recognisable portrait of Aleksander… Her mind was reeling still. She didn’t know what to think or how she felt. She was just overwhelmed and lost. She didn’t know if she should trust Aleksander or his mother… Or either of them.

It wasn’t true… it couldn’t be true, could it? It just didn’t make sense. Yet there were small bits of proof before her already. She knew Aleksander, or at least she thought she had. Her heart ached as she thought of his every word being a lie to manipulate her. But the bigger part of her couldn’t bring herself to believe it. It just wasn’t true! But even if it was…

She strode determinedly over to Baghra. “I won’t help him! I’ll fight back!” she declared.

She just needed to figure out the truth. She couldn’t let Baghra drag her away until she knew that much.

“You’re far from strong enough to face him,” she scoffed. “I thought I had more time to prepare you, but it’ll have to wait.”

She opened another door and held it open for her. She was holding out the lantern for her, and it was clear enough that she was supposed to go alone from here. As she handed over the lantern and made to close the door behind her, she gave her some final instructions.

“Stay on the main path until the fork. Take the path to the right. You’ll find food storage. Wait there. There are some Grisha who are loyal to me. They will help keep you safe until I find a plan.

“The right?” she reiterated, and Baghra nodded.

“Now go, girl!”

The door swung closed, and she was alone.

Alone in the dark.

Alone with her racing thoughts.

Numbly, she continued down the dark, narrow passageway for some time, her racing thoughts a torrent threatening to drag her under.

A huge part of her struggled to believe what Baghra had told her. But what if she was right? If Aleksander really was hundreds of years old, it only made sense he’d have had years of manipulating people. He could have been telling her only what she wanted to hear all this time. Playing along with the whims of a foolish girl who thought herself beginning to fall in love. And how better to manipulate…

But… No. No, not all of that could have been a lie. It can’t have. She had seen the look in his eyes. She’d watched that beautiful, genuine smile bloom across his features, lighting him up like she’d never seen before. She’d seen the unshed tears in his eyes. And the pure awe and wonder on his face. She’d seen the look of hope in his eyes whenever they landed on her. That couldn’t all have been a lie, could it?

Or was she looking for things that weren’t there? Trying to deny it all, so it hurt less.

Did she trust Baghra more than Aleksander? Did she really trust anyone here? Maybe it was a good thing that she was getting out. She’d never have to come back here. She’d never have to deal with all this insane nonsense again. She wouldn’t have to be their Sun Summoner. She wouldn’t have to deal with the political bullshit. Or with bloody Grisha like Ivan and Zoya… and Genya, and Nadia and Marie, and Fedyor… Not… not any of them.

Her friends.

Once upon a time, if she’d been asked about friends, she’d say she only had one. Mal. But then, things changed. Then they were separated, and she joined the mapmaker's guild. And she supposed she could call some of them her friends. Alexei had at least been kind to her… Now he was likely dead - lost in the Fold, a place she was supposed to destroy.

And Genya and been a genuine friend to her, as had Nadia and Marie. Marie had even volunteered to pretend to be her for the night to help keep her safe. Could she really just abandon them with no warning?

Could she abandon any of them without warning?

What about Aleksander? What would he think? Would he think she’d run away from him right after they’d almost become intimate? Would he think she was kidnapped? Whether he was the Black Heretic or not, manipulator or just her Aleks, she knew that he would be driven to fury. She could already imagine the impassive mask he tried to wear to hide how upset or angry he was and how the shadows would flock around him, darkening the room as they darkened his mind. She could imagine the quiet rage he would command everyone at his service to search for her. He would leave no stone unturned…

He would never let her go…

She came to a standstill, realising that her arm was aching from holding the heavy lantern in her grasp. Why was she even bothering with it? She had the power of the sun at her fingertips! And with the smallest twist of her hand, an orb now floated there, lighter and brighter than the lantern, allowing her to put it down. She continued down the path only a few more steps before she came to the fork that Baghra had spoken of. She stared at the sharp point of the wall a moment before looking towards the right, where she’d been told to go.

Down there, Grisha loyal to Baghra would meet her to keep her safe… from Aleksander. Down there led to a path of being hunted, trained viciously and a life under the thumb of a woman she didn’t fully trust.

She turned and looked to the left path. She didn’t know what was down there or where it would lead out… but it was an escape. It was a path away from Baghra and away from Aleksander and the Little Place. She would still be hunted, but it was also freedom and a return to Mal.

Mal… her oldest friend, and the boy she’d loved for just as long… The boy who had left for the war when she’d done all she could for them to not be separated. The boy who had never noticed her feelings no matter how much she told him, dismissing it as the words of a best friend, and went out and flirted and fucked any pretty face he saw. The boy who had felt so betrayed by her being Grisha he hadn’t even written to her in all this time…

And still, he was her friend. And a part of her ached to see him.

But then, behind her… she looked back at the path from which she came. Behind her was her duty. She remembered in vivid clarity how not an hour ago, an entire hall of people, servants, Grisha and nobility alike had bowed before her and praised her a saint. They believed in her and trusted in – no, needed her to bring down the Fold tearing their country apart. Behind her lay her new friends. Genya, so strict and proper, yet sweet and utterly smitten with her Fabrikator. Marie and Nadia, who would worry about her and miss her so. She’d never had any friends that were girls before them, and it had been nice to gossip with them and feel… normal. For once in her life, she’d felt normal. Like this was how it was supposed to be.

Kissing Aleks had felt normal. It had felt right.

And yet, now she didn’t know what to think of him. The one thing she knew for sure was that he would never let her go. Not without a fight.

And she wasn’t entirely sure she wanted to fight. Oh, she would fight tooth and nail if Baghra’s words were true, and he somehow tried to enslave her. But she couldn’t let the words of one person ruin how she saw him and what they’d had. She’d seen the proof that he was much older than he let on and that Baghra was his mother… But she needed to know more. She needed to know the truth.

And maybe it was a stupid decision to walk right back into the lion’s den, but maybe she had to take that risk. Part of her was desperate to know and wouldn’t let her go until she did. She felt something pulling her back the way she had come: an impulse, a gut feeling, an instinct. Like something was tethering her to something or someone back there, slowly luring her back in. She was drawn that way…

And so, she turned and took a step.

She sighed heavily, not even sure what she was doing.

And another step.

No path before her was perfect. But her heart yearned for answers.

And another.

She was going to have to find a way to survive this situation either way. And strangely… the best way to survive might be with maybe the deadliest of the lot. If Baghra was right, he needed her. Perhaps not in the way she’d started hoping he did. But he wouldn’t hurt her if he thought she was on his side. Maybe he’d see through her, but maybe he’d let her play along. Some kind of unspoken truce where they both had the advantage over the other.

But she was getting ahead of herself. She didn’t even know if any of this was true. And even if he was the Heretic, no one’s stories matched up.

She just… she wanted to know the truth.

It took a while for her to weave her way back through the narrow halls, and she had trouble remembering the way once she came to the door where Baghra had left her. It was all empty now, and she took a moment longer to stare at that ancient painting once more, taking in every detail, reaching out to touch the familiar features. When she finally began moving again, she turned herself around a few times, ending up in unfamiliar passages a few times until she finally found herself at the stairwell she remembered. She climbed all the way to the top and along to where she saw that lever. It didn’t take much to reach up and pull it. The metallic sound of creaking of gears filled the space, and the door swung open.

Cautiously, she stepped through the door and back into Aleksander’s outer chamber. All was quiet and still inside, the lights now dimmed. But chatter could still be heard beyond the door, the party still going on, oblivious to the fact that their Sun Summoner had been gone so long. Marie must have been handling the dinner very well.

But the lights were out… which means that Aleksander must have come back at some point and found her missing. He was likely out searching for her at the banquet, trying to see where she was. With the light out, she kept her own bright, looking out over the room. Her eyes fell on the irises left on the table.

The beautiful flowers he’d presented her with, out of nowhere before sweeping her off to his suit mere hours ago now. Her favourite flowers, no less. She wondered how he’d known or if he’d even known at all. Despite the turbulent feelings raging within her, she still remembered her elation when he’d handed them to her, and she found herself picking them up and pressing them to her nose once more. They still smelled just as sweet.

…This was a stupid idea.

Looking back to the secret door, she thought for a moment that she could still go. But she’d come back for a reason, and now that she was here, she wanted to see it through.

She also noticed, though, that the door wasn’t closing. The lever in the passageway was obvious, the one inside was not. And after a while of searching, she still couldn’t see anything. She supposed that Aleksander was just going to have to close it once he arrived. She didn’t plan on keeping her knowledge secret. She wanted answers, and that required the truth.

She wandered around the room for a while, looking at everything around her, including his papers and books, as if that would give her some kind of hint as to the truth. But everything out here gave nothing away. Of course, he probably wouldn’t hide important secrets on something so easy to access as a private bookshelf.

After what seemed like hours, she was more than bored. She was exhausted, having kept the orb of light going for so long. A record for her, most certainly. She was starving since she’d skipped the dinner. And she was honestly getting sleepy, almost nodding off while reading through his books. She had no idea what time of the night it was.

But falling asleep on the floor of his outer chamber was probably not the smartest idea. Slowly, she moved into the bedroom. The doors were wide open, and she could see his grand bed at the end, much like hers, only with dark sheets. But what did she expect? Black was his colour.

What she didn’t expect was the mass of papers that littered one side of his bed, though. As if he’d chosen to sit there and sort through them instead of at the large desk she knew sat just out in the other room. Curiously, she sat down and began picking up papers and reading them. Most of them seemed to be plans and details about the Fete. Others about the general activity of the Grisha both out in the Second Army and here at the Little Place. There were a few letters and reports from and about a Heartrender called Nina who had gone missing. And most interestingly, there were a few pages of maps and sightings of Morozova’s Stag.

…Baghra had said something about her leading him right to the stag. She wasn’t sure what it had to do with her, though. But it was clear that he was at least looking for it. It made her wonder why he would need an amplifier. He was already so powerful… And if he really was the Black Heretic, even more so than anyone could possibly imagine.

She wasn’t sure how long she’d been in his rooms now, but it had been hours, and he was still not back. And soon, she found that the monotonous reading, the exhaustion of the day, and his very comfortable bed were the perfect recipe for her to slip off into the darkness.

Author Note:

Hope you enjoyed the start of this one! Things are going to split from the actual plot radically from here on in!

Chapter Index  |  Next Chapter >>

#light casts a shadow

[sirenprincess15]

Please Don't Leave Me Chapter 9

Title: Please Don’t Leave Me

Author: SirenPrincess

Description: What if Aleksander hadn’t answered the door when Ivan interrupted the war room kissing? What if Aleksander and Alina had a bit more time to get to know each other before Baghra told her his true identity? Alina is the only one who can comfort Aleksander through his nightmares. Will she leave once she knows who he is?

This story is based on the show version and features a soft on the inside, hard on the outside Aleksander with an emphasis on emotional hurt/comfort and angst. If you are looking for lots of hurt!Aleksander thoughts, then this story is for you. Mal exists but pretty much solely to cause Aleksander some angst. Don’t worry. It will be a Darklina ending.

Chapter 1 is a missing scene at the end of Ep 4, and Chapter 2 takes place alongside Ep 5 and then diverges from canon there.

Pairings: Aleksander Morozova/Alina Starkov, bits of Ivan/Fedyor

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: Grisha are oppressed in this universe, and I don’t shy away from showing the horrors of that. There may eventually be mentions of canon-typical torture (Fjerdan pyres), death of family members, and cruelty to Grisha children. It’s not the focus, but that backdrop is definitely there and comes up as characters discuss their past.

In this chapter: After centuries of being alone, Aleksander struggles to share his problems.

Chapter 9

Aleksander was busy working in his office. The roaring fire warmed him as he poured over ship manifests and army documentation on this Dmitry. If they could find who Dmitry traveled with, who was likely to be loyal to him, then perhaps they could identify any threats before they even came to the Little Palace.

When Inessa and Fedyor delivered Alina, Aleksander rushed to her side. “Thank you,” he said, dismissing them. He pulled her into his arms, rested his chin on top of her head, and deeply inhaled the scent of her. She was safe. “How was your day?”

“Boring. Fedyor and Inessa wouldn’t even let me go outside, not even for training. I’m never going to get stronger if I don’t train.”

“It’s just a precaution.”

“A precaution for what?”

He ignored her. She didn’t need the stress of knowing how anxious their enemies were to kill her. “I thought we’d take dinner in here tonight, if that’s okay with you.” His emotions were a mess. As haunted as he had been since Marie’s death, it was even worse now that the continued active threat was confirmed. He was relieved to be with her because he could see she was safe, but he was also still deeply ashamed of his panic attack from the nightmare the night before. He feared she would bring it up. He couldn’t talk about it. Eating in the main hall would stop her from doing so, but he was worried about security and didn’t want her with a large crowd. Her food would be easier to poison there, even with her taster. Truthfully, though, Aleksander wasn’t sure he had it in him to perform the intimidating General Kirigan act tonight, and he wanted her nearby for safety. Then he worried about what would happen when it was time for sleep. He had unleashed shadows last night, and they could have hurt her. He would never be able to forgive himself if he harmed her. That morning he had decided they’d have to sleep apart, but that was before he’d known of this new threat, of spies sneaking into the palace to check her routines. There was no way to know if the man he’d killed had been the first or the last. He couldn’t risk letting her sleep without someone strong guarding over her, and she’d never agree to let someone like Ivan stand over her bed. She had to stay here. Selfishly, he was grateful to have the excuse to keep her in his bed.

“Of course.” Her expression begged him to answer her previous question, but he didn’t. He well remembered what it was like to be afraid everywhere you went at all times. He could protect her from that.

“I do have quite a bit of work to complete, though. I’m afraid I’ll be quite busy. I did take the liberty of having Genya select some books from the library for you.”

She raised an eyebrow, as if signaling to him that she saw right through his attempts to distract her, but all she said was, “That was kind of you.”

He sat back at his desk and tried to focus on the lists in front of him. Something wasn’t adding up. Dmitry would appear on a ship crossing into West Ravka, but not on a return, and then somehow a time later be on a manifest for a ship crossing the wrong way. How was that possible? Was he missing manifests or was Dmitry paying someone off to keep his name off the lists?

Alina stepped behind him and started rubbing his shoulders. “Alek, you’re so tense. The stress coming off you is nearly unbearable. What happened today?”

“It’s nothing. I’m fine.”

She sighed. “Are we really going to do this thing tonight?”

He lifted his eyes to take in the annoyed look on her face. “Thing?”

“You know, where you pretend to be the oh so busy and important General Kirigan who uses his sense of authority to push people away? And then acts like he couldn’t possibly have any feelings or needs of his own? He’s fine. Everything is fine. He doesn’t need any help.”

He hadn’t even realized he was doing it, but she had. “Accurate,” he admitted.

“I’m going to let you in on a secret. The act doesn’t work with girls who have shared your bed.”

He laughed. Only she could call him on his behavior like this without irritating him. Only she could make him smile when he was otherwise so miserable. “I can assure you it worked fine on girls who have shared my bed. Apparently, it doesn’t work on the one girl I have let into my heart.”

“You’ve let me into your heart? So … let me help you.”

“Alina, it’s not that simple …”

“You can’t bear this burden alone, Aleksander. I won’t let you. Whatever is happening, it is crushing you. If not me, then get Ivan in here and talk to him. ”

“You want me to summon Ivan in here? This must be serious.”

“He is a good friend to you, and I know you trust him. I just want you to let someone help. You are not alone. This,” she said, putting her hand over the papers, “is not yours alone to figure out. Stop trying to solve everything with no support.”

“I’m not … used to having support.”

She nodded, took his hand, and squeezed it. “I know. I’m not really either. We’ve learned to do things alone, to hide pain and keep it to ourselves, but I know that problems are better solved together. Together, Aleksander. Stop trying to protect me from scary truths. Fedyor scanned every room we went into before he’d let me enter. I’m not stupid, Aleksander. If I can handle you cutting a Druskelle in half on top of me, I can handle whatever is threatening us now. Stop trying to push me away when it comes to important things. Let me help.”

He sighed. She was frightened already; she might as well know the truth. “Zoya caught a man trying to break in today. I have her guarding the palace exterior since she can’t seem to behave herself around you. He is working for Zlatan and was sent to spy on you. They’re making a plan for a better attempt on your life.”

Her shoulders slumped and her gaze fell to the floor as she took that in. “Hunted wherever I go. Still not used to that.”

He stood and wrapped his arms around her. “I will not let them succeed. I promise you that you will come to no harm.”

She looked into his eyes, stared there for a while, then found her strength. “Tell me about the papers.”

He quickly filled her in on what he had discovered about Dmitry and the mystery of the paperwork. It did actually feel good to have someone to discuss his findings with and not keep the thoughts spinning in his head. He talked through all of his ideas, no matter if they led nowhere. She indulged him and asked appropriate questions at all the right times. Finally, he arrived out loud at the stuck place he was in his head. He had so many theories, but how did he figure out if any of them were right?

She was quiet as she turned from page to page. Dinner arrived, and they ate in silence as they continued to try to find a pattern among the papers--the same captain, the same record keeper, accomplices that might travel with him. All ideas led nowhere, but they continued to look.

Hours later, Alina stood and walked into the war room.

“Alina?” He trailed after her. She was staring at the map. After a long time, he prompted her. “What is it?”

“I’m sure it’s stupid.” She shook her head and hugged herself.

He stepped closer and wrapped his arms around her. “I don’t like it when you put yourself down like that. That’s not you. Those are words from your past.”

She shrugged. “Maybe.”

“Hmm, well then, let’s hear it. I’m frustrated. Maybe if it’s really stupid we can have a good laugh about it.”

“I used to stare at the map and dream of finding a way around. I was told there is no around, but … is there? Any secret path or …”

Aleksander felt his stomach twist as the implications became clear. “There are reports of Fjerdans in West Ravka, rumors that Zlatan is aligning with them, letting Druseklle ...” A vision of Nina being tortured popped into his head. He had to fight his jaw from trembling so she couldn’t see how upset this made him. “There is an around if you’re in bed with the enemy. He’s going through Fjerda.”

She gasped as it came together in her head. “He sends his emissary to Fjerda with messages, who then gets a free pass into our country to deliver orders to his spies, but then he needs the quick return across to do it again. How long would it take to travel through Fjerda? Check the dates. Do they match?”

“Fjerdans. It’s worse than I thought.” He could feel the Fjerdan fires licking at his skin.

They spent another hour pouring over records and checking their theory. Finally, Alina yawned. “We should get some sleep.”

He wanted to tell her to go on ahead, but he didn’t want her sleeping in a room away from him. He almost offered to just watch over her, but he feared he would accidentally fall asleep and end up as he had the night before. His chest tightened with worry as he considered possibilities, none of which were acceptable.

“I tell you to come to bed, and that sense of dread is what I get? I might think you don’t want to …” she tried to lightly tease.

“You know why,” he whispered, still not wanting to talk about it.

“Which is all the more reason to get you to sleep soon. Your nightmares are worse the longer you try to keep yourself awake. Have you noticed?”

He sighed. “This morning I was trying to work myself up to telling you that it’s not safe to sleep with me anymore, but now with this information on this potential attack, it’s not safe to sleep away from me either.”

“Don’t you dare do that to me!”

“What?” To her?

“Don’t you realize what you do for me? For years I cried myself to sleep every night, Aleksander. For years! I used to lie there and wonder what was wrong with me that no one could want me, how it was possible for me to not belong anywhere. I slept with a weapon under my pillow to fend off anyone who might come to hurt me. And now I sleep in your arms. Desired. Loved. Don’t you dare take that away from me.”

His heart ached for her. Was it possible she needed him as much as he needed her? “I hadn’t realized …”

“No matter how bad our nightmares get, we stay together. You make sure I can sleep, and I will do the same for you. Just promise to wake me up tonight. You can’t get yourself overtired like that again.”

“And you will wake me if the shadows start again?”

“I promise. Right away.”

“Okay,” he agreed, feeling less selfish about allowing it if it benefited her too. It was better than the alternative of some spy finding her room in the night or her lying awake with a knife under her pillow wondering if someone was coming to kill her. He would have to take care of himself more for her--get an adequate amount of sleep, actually stop and eat meals instead of working through every waking hour, maybe even share some of his stresses with her. He would do those things if it meant he could be there to protect her.

“Now,” she said, kissing him gently. “What do I have to do to get you out of that kefta so I can kiss away all those battle scars?”

#darklina #alina x darkling #general kirigan #kirigan x alina #alina x kirigan #aleksander x alina #alina x aleksander #aleksander morovoza

[amiramorozova]

Dual Summoner x The Darkling pt. 44

pairing: Dual Summoner Amira Silina x Darkling General Kirigan/ Aleksander Morozova

word count: 2196

I wasn't sure how long I slept that night, or what time it was before I even woke up but I could feel the shift in the bed as I yawned covering my mouth. I felt a kiss on my cheek as he got near my ear "Well, Mrs. Morozova good morning." He whispered in my ear as I laughed a bit and I adjusted to look at him kissing him. "Good morning Aleksander." I said 

I got up from the bed as I started to get my undergarments back on and then I chose to wrap myself in my kefta to cover up in case we had company. I knew our meals would soon be arriving and that was important to be decent. I heard the sound of him getting his pants on as his buckle was clear as I looked out the window. I knew things were different now, they would never be the same. As I felt his arms go around me as he looked out the window with me. 

"From now on, we are in this together. Morozova's amplifiers are to be united as soon as we can get the other two." Aleksander said as I sighed. "When do we set out to get the next one?" I asked knowing that this was my life now. I was doing this willingly as a knock could be heard on the door and we both looked over. "Enter." Aleksander said as Genya opened the door to see us. Bowing she had a bag "An outfit was prepared for her to wear under her Kefta." Genya said as Aleksander nod. "Prepare my wife for her day." Aleksander said as he walked away in his general attire to do things.

Genya walked over to me as I took the bag seeing the attire as I took it to his bathroom and changed while I walked out with my Kefta in my arms. Genya nod as I put the kefta on soon afterward and I looked in his mirror seeing the Kefta that Genya had presented last time with the darkling symbol over my heart. "It's fitting." I said as I took a seat and she started to take her things from her kit and she smiled. "I hope your wedding night wasn't too bad." Genya said

I thought about last night and knew it was exactly as it should be, things were going to go well. "It was perfect, I just.." I said as I knew the desire to be pregnant was there but it did not mean such things. "What?" Genya asked as I looked at her with a smile. "I just want to have a family and try not to feel such pressure of the fold." I admitted. Genya seemed surprised but I guess that was to be expected as I laughed a bit. "Don't look so surprised, don't we all want a family someda-..." I realized I was crossing a line with this, Genya had endured a lot from the King. I wanted to free her from the Queen but that wasn't in my power yet. 

"I will find a way to free you Genya." I said as she continued to work, I noticed she wasn't in the white but red. I wondered if the King was putting an attack on her, I knew there was going to be a movement but I needed to go. "You seem to be in a lot of thought." Genya said, "It's almost time to go after the 2nd amplifier soon, I don't need all this power when I've worked for what I've had." I said, "Well, he is taking you back by the fold soon. He wants to wait till the next Winter Fete before we all go." Genya said

I hadn't even been paying attention but I just shrugged a bit before getting up just after she was done. I turned and looked at her Kefta seeing it was the corporaleki red. "You were given the Red Kefta." I said, "I never liked this shade of red, it clashes with my hair." Genya said, but I knew what this meant to her. She led me to an area where she showed me a box and I looked at it seeing letters as I saw they were opened and she showed me as I picked it up seeing they were Alina's letters. "Why do you have Alina's letters to someone named Mal?" I asked her as she sighed. "General Kirigan thinks it would be best to help her let go of her old life." Genya said 

No wonder Baghra told me to give my letters to her. He might have done that with me. I thought 

"What if this Mal is her soulmate?" I asked as Genya sighed, "She won't know who her soulmate is, if she can't even use her power." Genya said. I knew that if Alina couldn't even use her power that was true but she was holding back. I had to accept that this might be the best plan but I went back as I looked for a bit seeing letters as I found they were opened seeing Mal had written to her. 

Tracker, Corporal of the 36th division. Nico was a tracker, corporal of the 35th division how weird that two trackers with the same unique gift. I thought 

I left walking away as I knew there wasn't a lot I had to do at the moment going about my day as I would any other day. Never alone, now that I was his wife Marie and Nadia were full guardians graduated with the roles. We were not to split up and Nico was to be the tracker who could track my movements if we needed to be. 

The few days that passed were boring but the nights were entertaining in other ways. One day Aleksander had to leave for a bit as we walked down and I wondered if this was a joke but then as we walked I saw his carriage. I sighed a bit as he turned and kissed me "I will be gone a week, you are in charge of the Grisha in my absence Amira." Aleksander said 

I knew this was what he had to do but I still hated it, but I nod knowing that there wasn't much I could say. I knew as the General's wife I could go with him bu the 2nd army needed me here with everything going on. My family was here within the little palace and the 2nd army needed a leader. As I watched him go in the carriage as I knew he was even having a hard time walking away from me as I watched the carriage soon leave. Alina came out as she noticed me and I looked at her. 

"Hi Alina." I said to her as she looked at me probably seeing I wasn't in the best mood as I looked at my wrist watching as his initials were fading with the distance he was getting from the little palace. I kept watching until they completely disappeared from my wrist but I knew there was always my dreams. "Are you ok Amira?" Alina asked as I put on a smile and nod. "Come on, let's see what your progress has been you've been here a few weeks now." I said 

I led her to where the other summoners were and we walked down the path that grass had grown since I last walked down it. It felt odd but the girl who would walk down this path was a lonely girl who had to practice the sun alone. "You came down this path before?" Alina asked, "I was a lonely girl who had to hide her sun powers. I found being alone more comforting sometimes and lonely at the same time." I said as we made it seeing it hadn't changed. I put my hands together as I formed the sun and circled it around me as Alina saw how vibrant my sun powers were and I watched as she put her hands together and formed a ball as she separated into two but then she tried to circle it around herself as I did but it wasn't very strong. "How do you do it?" Alina asked as I let mine go. 

We both sat down in the grass as I sighed, "As Baghra told you, I've had ten years to master my powers. In fact the day that marks eleven years will be coming up and I'll be nineteen by then but my father worried the risk of the Dual Summoner being found out so he thought I was safest here." I said as I knew Aleksander would be back before my birthday. "It was lonely but over time Baghra took me under her training, she didn't treat me the same as others. She treated me as family but she reminded me if she was going to train her own son when he was my age that she would treat him the same way." 

Alina remembered that General Kirigan was Baghra's son, something we'd told her when she admitted I was going to be her daughter-in-law. I slid my finger across my collarbone as it glowed slightly from where I absorbed the stag's necklace. "You really do have the amplifier." Alina said, "Yes, but we can get you an amplifier. It can't be Morozova's amplifiers though, the three from what I've learned are supposed to be together but there are other amplifiers." I said 

Alina seemed hesitant but we went to the library where we started to look over the amplifiers. "Interested in the amplifiers?" A familiar voice said as I looked over seeing the apparat, "Sol Koroleva, you seem surprised to see me back around the little palace." The apparat said approaching noticing "We are still friends, Sankta Amira?" 

Alina must have noticed my hesitation as she felt it too but he noticed the book we were looking at over other amplifiers. "Looking for an amplifier?" The apparat asked. "My friend Alina is interested in one." I said as he seemed to look and notice we didn't pull out the book of Morozova's amplifiers. "Not interested in the mythical stag?" The apparat asked as I looked down at the book. "The Stag was found, it's been killed so it's not an option for my friend." I said though this man had creeped me out, I had been in here since I was a kid reading up on the lore of the stag for years and I still felt it even with the amplifier within me it felt like the stag was still alive in a way. I knew the apparat had wanted to be friends, it was how he approached me when I had first come in here one day. 

"You wear black now Sol Koroleva, the general's color." The apparat said as I rubbed my thumb over my wedding ring. It was the only way I felt a sense of peace now that Aleksander was gone for a week but we kept looking. "Did you kill the stag to get the amplifier?" The apparat asked as I knew he probably suspected I had it. "No, I sparred it's life. It turns out that there was something in the books that they didn't know. It's not the Grisha who kills the animal gets it's power, it's also given to the Grisha they choose to weild that power." I said without looking at the apparat. 

We found a few that Alina decided were good enough for her, but I knew we needed a tracker to find it. When we were leaving the library the apparat stopped us as he offered a book to Alina. "A present to mark the start of friendship. Maybe they will be calling for Sankta Alina and Sankta Amira together to destroy the fold." The apparat said. We were able to leave but I had to wait a few days before sending out the request to find the amplifier. 

Hopefully, Aleksander is doing ok. I thought

I wasn't sleeping as well as I could have, Aleksander would show up in my dreams and he knew of my request to send out the request to others to look for that amplifier but not kill it. With his approval, I was only able to send it that way. Still, I felt so useless at the moment as all I wanted was him. I knew that was fair being we hadn't been married long and duty called but still, it upset me. 

Waiting for this week to be over was the worst part, I kept to myself most of the time but watched Alina as she improved. News of Prince Nikolai going away temporarily was heard of and I didn't mind knowing he was trying to persuade me but I had made my choice. I was also very careful with the apparat back which I had informed Aleksander with the connection we had with our dreams. He was not happy to hear about that but it didn't seem to bother him. 

we'll get through this.  I thought 

Taglist: @lifeisingrey​

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