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littlecloudprince · 1 year

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An All-Out Binky War

Summary: Patton loves his binky! It's his absolute favourite thing, and he never, ever wants to get rid of it! But what if he's too old for it? Can you be too old for a comfort item? Someone certainly thinks so. And now there's an all-out binky war! Oh no...

Warnings: Arguing, taking away a comfort object, some like... PG-13 "swearing"

A/N: Hey! Hi! Hello! I'm alive! I know I haven't updated in a loooooong time, I'm really sorry! School kicked my butt a lot, and that led to writer's block. But I'm back now! And I'm happy to inform that I graduated right before Christmas, and this means that I have more time and less stress! And that means I can write! Hopefully!

So anyway, I've decided to treat you munchkins to not one, not two, but THREE oneshots tonight! Because I kind of just disappeared like that, so I feel like y'all deserve a lil extra 💅✨

Hope you enjoy!

- Princey L

Patton had a favourite pacifier. It had a cyan shield, orange handle, white middle part and a latex teat. It was Patton's favourite thing in the world, and the little boy loved it very dearly. Whenever he regressed, he absolutely had to have it, and would cry if he couldn't find it.

"Where is it? Where is it, where is it, where is it?" Patton kept repeating to himself and his frog plushie, Mr. Froggers, growing more and more panicked by the minute. He tossed around pillows, looked under tables and even went through the pockets of every jacket on the coat rack in an attempt to find his precious binky. He looked everywhere, high and low, but it was like his comfort object had disappeared into thin air. Virgil walked into what looked like the aftermath of a hurricane in the living room.

"What's going on kiddo?" he asked the frantic boy.

"Binky! I can't find my binky!" Patton exclaimed, his voice breaking as tears began pooling in his eyes.

"Aw, c'mere, bub," Virgil cooed sympathetically, opening his arms for a hug as Patton broke down in sobs. The little boy all but ran into Virgil's arms, needing the comfort. Virgil lifted the sad boy up on his hip, and gently rocked him for a moment.

"Let's go get you a cup of water, hm? We wouldn't want you to run out of tears, now would we? And then we'll look for your binky together," Virgil promised. Patton nodded, having calmed down from sobs to hiccups.

In the kitchen, as Virgil reached for one of Patton's cups from the cupboard, he saw a rather familiar cyan and orange object on top of the fridge.

"What's this doing here?" he mused to himself. He opted for a puppy themed cup and filled it with water before handing it to Patton, who was sitting on the counter. Virgil then turned back to the fridge, and took down Patton's binky.

"Good news pal, I found your binky! It's a little dusty, so I'll rinse it off before you can have it, okay?" the emo said, taking the pacifier to the sink.

"My binky!" Patton lit up. "Why was it on top of the fridge?"

"I don't know bud," Virgil answered honestly, drying off the comfort object before offering it to it's rightful owner. Patton opened his mouth, letting the caregiver put the binky in place.

"Thank you!" the little boy mumbled behind the teat, reaching his arms out for Virgil. He took the cue and set Patton's now empty cup aside before picking him back up.

"How's about you settle down with some Steven Universe while I make us all lunch?" Virgil suggested. Patton nodded, rubbing the leftover tear residue from his eyes underneath his round glasses. He was a little worn out from crying, and cuddling up with Mr. Froggers and his binky felt like a good idea. So, Virgil carried the little boy back in the living room, and gently sat him down on the couch. The caregiver turned the tv on to the boy's comfort cartoon, tidied up a bit and gave Patton a kiss on the head before heading back in the kitchen.

After a few episodes, Roman emerged from his room. As he passed by Patton to go to the kitchen, he noticed the pacifier in the curly haired boy's mouth, and furrowed his brow in confusion.

"Oh, you still have your binky?" he asked. Patton just nodded, not knowing why the prince would assume otherwise. Roman didn't say anything else, but did give Patton a quizzical glance before making his way to the kitchen.

"I thought Logan said not to give Patton his binky anymore?"

"What?" Virgil turned his attention from the sandwiches he was making to Roman.

"Didn't he?"

"Why would he say that?"

"I don't know, I just... thought he did," Roman said, feeling uncertain.

"Well, whatever, Patton is always allowed to have it. Capiche?"

"Capiche," Roman sat down at the table. The two continued chit-chatting, Virgil continuing to make lunch, until a panicked noise came from the living room. Before either had time to react, Logan walked in.

"Who gave Patton this?" he asked, dangling the blue and orange object between his thumb and index finger.

"Did you seriously just take that from him?" Virgil asked snarkily.

"He doesn't need it."

"Yes he does. He's regressed."

"No, he doesn't. He's far too old for it."

"Did you miss the part where he's regressed?" Virgil asked sarcastically. Logan sighed.

"What I'm saying is that a six-year-old shouldn't be using a pacifier. It'll harm the development of his teeth. He needs to be weaned off."

"Wait. You put Patton's binky on the fridge? Are you kidding me, Logan? What the hell is wrong with you?" Virgil threw his hands in the air.

"I'm doing him a favor," Logan stated, starting to put Patton's beloved comfort object on top of the fridge again.

"Give me that!" Virgil snapped, snatching the pacifier from Logan's hand.

"Roman, you agree with me, right?" Logan turned to the prince who had been watching the scene unfold.

"Uh, well, I..."

"Oh come on, you can't take advantage of Roman agreeing with you just because he can't stand up for himself!" Virgil fired.

"Hey! I totally can stand up for myself! How rude!" Roman stood up, offended.

"Whatever! I'm taking this back to Patton now," the hoodie-clad Side rolled his eyes, completely done with the other two. He left the kitchen, only to be met with an empty couch.

In the meanwhile, Janus was getting some chores done while Remus was taking a nap in their side of the Mind Palace. It was one of Remus' really small days, so he was remarkably calmer and quieter than usual, allowing Janus to have a calmer day as well. The scaley Side was folding some clothes, spotting one of Roman's hoodies along his and Remus' laundry. It wasn't an unusual find, seeing as Remus tended to grab whatever hoodie or sweater he first saw when he got cold, paying no mind to whose it was. Janus would then wash and dry it before returning it to it's rightful owner.

The snake decided it was time to strech his legs anyway, so he might as well go return the hoodie now. He got up and stretched, a silent groan escaping his mouth. Perhaps sitting on the floor, hunched over his laundry, wasn't the best position to be in. Regardless, Janus took the hoodie and checked on the peacefully sleeping Remus before attaching the baby monitor on his belt and making his way to the core side of the Mind Palace. He passed through the living room, where Virgil, Logan and Roman were arguing about something or other. He didn't feel like getting involved, so he kept going, deciding to drop Roman's hoodie off in his room before heading right back to his baby. He froze, however, when he was passing Patton's room and heard muffled sounds from inside. The sounds were so faint they were barely there, but Janus could sense something was wrong. He went to drop Roman's hoodie off on his bed before heading back to Patton's room. He took a breath, and gently knocked on the door.

"Patton, darling, may I come in? It's JanJan," he said. He got a faint 'yes' as a response, and with that he opened the door and entered the room. Patton was sat on the floor, clutching Mr. Froggers tightly, hiding his mouth behind the plushie's head. His brows were furrowed and his eyes were shiny, as his fingers ran slowly back and forth on the back of Mr. Froggers' head. Janus carefully sat next to Patton, leaving a bit of space in case the little boy needed it.

"What's wrong hun?" he asked gently. Patton hesitated for a moment.

"You can tell me, I promise I won't get mad," Janus said, taking off his right glove before offering his pinky. Patton thought for a moment longer, before finally linking his pinky with the yellow Side's.

"Lo-Lo doesn't like me anymore, and now him and Vee and Ro-Ro are fighting and it's all my fault!"

"Did Logan say that to you?"

"Well... No... But he took my binky! Said I can't have it anymore!" Patton pouted, lip trembling as a few tears escaped from his eyes to his cheeks. Janus carefully wiped the tears away with his thumbs, gently cupping Patton's small face in his hands.

"I'm sorry he did that, that was really mean of him," he sympathised. Patton sniffed, reaching his arms out and climbing in Janus' lap. The latter wrapped his arms around the small one, and they both just stayed there for a while, until Remus started fussing in his baby monitor.

"What'dya say, want to come hang out with me and Remus for a while? Leave the others to their dumb fight?" Janus asked, gently playing with Patton's curls. The boy simply nodded, tightening his grip slightly. The older one took the hint, and carefully got up, never letting go of the child. Janus adjusted Patton slightly, before carrying him out of the room. As they passed the other three, still deep in their argument, Janus summoned one of his extra arms before subtly taking Patton's beloved binky from Virgil's hand.

Back at the other side of the Mind Palace, Janus had gotten the still glum Patton situated on the couch before retrieving the fussy Remus from his room. The kiddos were now sitting on the couch, watching as Janus prepared to fold the rest of the laundry. Remus pointed to Patton, a questioning coo rising from behind his pacifier.

"Yeah bub, Patton is feeling a little sad because Logan took his binky away from him," Janus explained. The baby thought for a moment before taking the green pacifier out of his mouth, offering it to the glum child. Patton shook his head, and Janus rose to intervene.

"Ah, that's very thoughtful of you Remus, but we don't share binkies, hun. I think Patton would want this instead," he said, summoning one of his extra arms, the one with Patton's beloved comfort.

"My binky!" Patton perked up, reaching out for Janus' third hand before stopping in his tracks.

"But... Too old for it?" he asked hesitantly.

"Never too old for a comfort object," the caregiver assured, making sure to keep his tone soft and genuine. The boy thought for a moment longer, before finally taking the binky and popping it into his mouth, right where it belonged. He wiggled a little, immediately feeling soothed. Patton suckled on the object gently, his muscles untensing as he finally relaxed. He ran his fingers across the back of Mr. Froggers' head, swaying a little to the tune of Janus' humming. Eventually, Patton nodded off.

He didn't stay asleep for long, however, waking up to the sounds of arguing.

"I can't believe you'd just sneak Patton off like that!" Virgil.

"Oh, yes, what a *terrible* crime, tending to a child in distress!" Janus.

"He's fine! He was just pouting because he's mad I took his pacifier away! He's merely being petty!" Logan.

"Don't you even start with that bull!" Virgil again.

"You can't be serious, Logan!" Janus again.

"I am always serious, necktie! Besides, it is for his own good! Roman agrees with me!"

"I—"

"Oh for eff's sake, grow a backbone, Roman!"

Patton covered his ears tightly, it was all too much! He didn't want this, he didn't want this! He quietly sunk down, holding back tears and hands firmly on his ears, Mr. Froggers in tow.

Thomas was editing on the couch, when he felt Patton rise up next to him. Before he had a chance to react, Patton was already climbing on his lap, almost causing Thomas to drop his laptop. He fumbled with it for a second before managing to safely place it on the coffee table.

"Hey, hey, what's wrong buddy?" He gently asked, wrapping his arms around Patton as he finally registered the little boy's sobbing.

"Everyone fightin n it's my fault n loud n m scared!" Patton explained in-between hysterical sobs.

"Didn' mean to be bad!"

"You're not bad honey, not at all!" Thomas soothed the panicky boy, gently rocking him and rubbing his back.

"What were the others arguing about?" he asked gently. Patton pointed to the comfort object still bobbing between his lips.

"They were fighting about your pacifier?" Thomas confirmed. Patton nodded, still teary-eyed, but his breathing having calmed down. Before Thomas could ask anything more, a regressed Roman rose up.

"I don't know! I just don't know!" he yelled, pulling at his hair. Patton flinched slightly at the volume, and Thomas tightened his grip slightly.

"I don't know the right answer! I don't know, I don't know, I don't know!"

"Roman—"

"I don't know," Roman's voice broke as he dropped to his knees, his shoulders shaking as he began to sob behind his hands. Thomas carefully rose from the couch, placing Patton on his hip. He then crouched next to Roman, placing a gentle hand on his back.

"Sweetheart..." he murmured, sitting down on the floor before carefully rubbing Roman's back.

"They kept pressuring me! I didn't know what to do!" the eight-year-old's voice wavered as he tried to hold back his sobs.

"It's not your fault, hun, I promise," Thomas reassured, hating to see his boys so broken.

"Not your fault," Patton echoed quietly, reaching for Roman's shoulder with his own, small hand.

"I'm sorry I didn't have your back," Roman sniffed, wiping his eyes before reaching for Patton's hand, placing his own on top of it.

"M sorry they're fightin because of me," Patton mumbled, also sniffing and wiping his eyes.

"It's not your fault, bud," Roman and Thomas said simultaneously.

"Jinx," Thomas smiled. Roman gave a small smile in return.

"Tired," Patton yawned around his beloved comfort object.

"Me too," Roman confessed, catching Patton's contagious yawn.

"I think the both of you need a nap, hm? And once you're big again, we can all settle this together, once and for all," Thomas ruffled both boys hair affectionately.

"Toooom!" Roman whined playfully, as Patton just giggled.

"Alright, let's get you two rascals all nice and cozy, yeah?" Thomas carefully got up, making sure Patton was comfortable on his hip before lending a hand to Roman.

"Thanks Tom!" Roman thanked politely. Patton tugged at Thomas' shirt.

"Hm?" The caregiver turned his attention to the younger one.

"Stay?" Patton asked, almost as if he was scared Thomas might leave him the second he falls asleep. And how could Thomas say no to those puppy eyes?

Thus is how Thomas ended up on the couch, sandwiched between a six-year-old and an eight-year-old, and a definite crick in the neck by the time they'd be getting up. Still, there was nowhere else he'd rather be than right here, right now, with his boys. And with that thought, Thomas, too, fell into a peaceful sleep, each boy contently snuffling under a protective arm.

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graedari · 4 years

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Alright. I in my opinion, there is not enough Virgil in Roman’s coat content. SO I WILL MAKE IT MYSELF

Taglist below:

@are-you-even--real @killjoy-3000 @wroammin @true-chaotic-dumbass @escalatingtoofast @themagicheartmailman @mirinda03 @underthesea73 @booklover223 @fueled-by-angst-and-rootbeer @ambrechandra @cemmy @anxiousnotaesthetic

#graedari doodles #sanders sides #prinxiety #ts sides virgil #digital art #autodesk sketchbook #lenovo tablet #grace was thinking about drawing virgil without his hoodie #for variety reasons #and then had an epiphany about this if anyone was wondering #wow!!! Sanders Sides art not related to one of Grace's many AUs?#It's more likely than you think lol #i just have a lot of feelings about Virgil in Roman's coat now #but I have to get ready for work instead of drawing more >:(#graedari tss

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sidespromptblog · 3 years

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The Accident

Warning: Medical scene, mention of broken bones, blacking out (once mentioned), cast, and Logan angst.

Summary: While out on a date with Remus and Janus, Logan falls and hurts his wrist.

Word Count: 1,631

“Are you sure that it’s alright?” Janus asked suspiciously, as his cold fingers gingerly touched the tinder flesh of Logan’s wrist. His eyes were narrowed as if he was already on high alert to see if Logan was going to dare even lying about something like this.

“It looks a little swollen,” Remus helpfully added, circling around them like a wild hyena protecting his little pack, his eyes barely stood still long enough to even get a glimpse of Logan’s wrist.

But when he did, without a moment’s worth of hesitation…

He cringed every time.

That should have told Logan everything he needed to know about the situation. Remus wasn’t making jokes, and was well past being worried. Janus was using his literal body as a shield so that no one could even dare to get close, and there wasn’t the slightest bit of sarcasm coming from him. Logan should have been more worried about the state of his wrist, in his writing hand no less. But all he could feel was the sharp throbbing of where Janus’ grip was, and the occasional fleeting touch from where Remus would look over his shoulder and down at his injury.

Stupid.

He had been so stupid.

Of course there would still be patches of ice, even with the weather being over the standard freezing of thirty-two. The wind chill matched with it being later time of day should have made it obvious, he had been too careless. Too…

Stupid.

“Logan?” Remus’ worried voice struck up again, as he took up the position on his other shoulder. “You’re not going to black out again are you?”

Ah yes, that one moment of pitch darkness the moment his head had connected with the frozen sidewalk. He doubted that any of them wanted to recall that, especially given the way that Janus had screamed and he had come to being cradled in Remus’ arms like a limp noodle.

Swallowing thickly Logan attempted a smile. “It hurts,” He honestly said, because what was the point in lying with a human lie detector right in front of him. “But, I’m sure that once we return back to Thomas’ mind, the injury will go away. Just like they’ve done before in the imagination… right?”

An uncertain whine curled in Remus’ throat, like he was a dog that had been left chained outside on a rainy day.

That alone told Logan that even he wasn’t exactly sure just how much the imagination could and couldn’t cure.

“No.” Janus firmly shook his head, “If we don’t know then there’s no use in going back and just causing you more pain. We’ll…” Here Janus grimaced just a little bit, the scales in his face shifting into something more socially acceptable. “We’ll have to take you to the hospital for an X-ray…”

Two groans accompanied this declaration.

It was almost three hours later that Logan was able to see the doctor in question.

But by far the most annoying and anxiety inducing tribulation was the fact that he had to be separated from the other two sides when he needed to have the X-ray done. Which he had known going in, of course he had known it. But knowing it and actually having to do it we’re two entire different things. When it had come to him leaving the mind space, he had never been alone. Usually he’d had Thomas, or some of the other sides to accompany him on his days out and to be without them for some terrifying and quite painful procedure, was… scary.

He was scared, and also quite a bit embarrassed about the whole ordeal.

Sitting back in the doctor’s office with both Janus and Remus on either side of him waiting for whatever news was to come, made him feel both worse and better at the same time.

“I’m sorry.” He finally mumbled, a bolt of shame ramming itself into his guts.

A part of him wasn’t even sure what to be sorry for, but another part deep and loathing knew exactly what he was apologizing for.

Janus who had been staring ahead at the posters decorating the walls immediately snapped his attention back to Logan, his brows furrowing for a moment before an unreadable expression took over his face. It was an expression that both Remus and Logan knew all too well. “Sorry?” Janus asked, his voice carefully clipped. “For what might I ask.” Having just started he shifted his entire body to face Logan. “For having an accident? For slipping? For falling? For doing something that wasn’t your fault to begin with?”

Behind him Remus cringed back, they both knew what was coming.

“I ruined our day.” Logan tried to argue, trying being the key word there.

Just for Janus to immediately shake his head, his cold fingers seeking out Logan’s cheeks and cupping them carefully enough to avoid the scrapes on his face. The look on his face was adoring and yet exasperated at the same time, as his eyes watered but no tears seemed to fall in Logan’s presence.

“You,” Janus choked out, “Didn’t ruin anything. We can always have another day, hopefully with you being hurt a little less. It’s okay Logan… I promise. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

Behind him Remus dug his fingers into the fabric of Logan’s thick winter coat as he buries his face into the logical side’s neck. His bristly whiskers tickled as he merely held Logan in place, bestowing all the love he could possibly give to him.

A laugh then shook Remus’ middle, “Hopefully Thomas has insurance.” His muffled voice finally got out.

And just like that the other two sides were tearfully giggling, knowing that thanks to Virgil’s worrywart tendencies Thomas had the best possible medical insurance he could get. And whether Logan knew it or no, which he did, he was technically going to be committing insurance fraud simply by the fact that he looked so much like Thomas.

Almost another several hours later though, with a dark blue cast now seated on his hand and wrist with the instructions to come back in a months time it was time to go home.

“So,” Remus popped the word out of his mouth, as he took up the duty of spoon feeding Logan some ice cream before they actually had to go back. “What are you going to tell the others, you know… about the cast and everything?” There was a quick glance shared between him and Janus. “The truth?”

It took genuine effort to not snort in Remus’ face after swallowing his mouthful of ice cream, and by a lot of effort it obviously meant that he coughed right into the crook of his arm in an attempt to hide it.

“No.” Logan answered back almost immediately, “Are you kidding me?! Virgil would never let me leave the house again if I came back looking like this. Roman would more than a little bit blame you. Patton would go along with it, in an effort to keep me ‘out of harm’s way’, and Thomas would just be concerned.” He gestured with his newly casted arm, they all knew that if it was discovered that Logan had left to go on a date with Janus and Remus, and had come back with a broken wrist they would be dramatic as possible when it came to any future dates with the dark sides.

He wouldn’t allow that.

Janus hummed as he nodded his head, his lips twisting just a little at the unpleasant thoughts that came with the scenario that Logan had just explained. “So what are you going to do?”

Surely Logan couldn’t just hide in his room until a month passed, and then get the cast off.

“I’ll just stay in my room until it’s time to get the cast off,” Logan shrugged, “I’ll put a sticky note on the door saying that I’m working on a big project and I don’t want to be disturbed. They usually listen to my sticky notes, a lot better than me since there’s no actual listening involved.”

“Are they threatening, these sticky notes?” Remus teased.

Instead of replying to his teasing with a retort Logan merely rolled his eyes, grabbing the front of Remus’ shirt to pull him in for a short sighted kiss.

“You know,” Remus mumbled in between kisses, “You can just stay with us right? The couch is always open for you, and so is any of our bedrooms.”

Logan pecked one last kiss on the corner of the creative side’s mouth, a warmth stirring in his chest at the offer of another place to stay if he wished to.

But…

It would be easier to recover in his own bedroom without Janus’ or Remus’ room effecting him in anyway, and recovering from a broken wrist on the couch didn’t exactly sound like fun to him.

“I know Rem,” The warmth he felt blossomed onto his face as a loving smile. “And rest assured you and Janus will see me in this month. But my room is probably easier for me.”

Satisfied with his answer, Janus nodded as he threw away the plastic spoons and cups that they had been eating from. Finally ready to head on back to the mind space, as both he and Remus held tight to Logan’s hands on the way back. It’d be a while before they could go on another date again, and maybe a little bit longer before it was anywhere in the wintertime again. But that was okay, because he could wait.

So with him lovingly holding onto the blue cast that kept Logan’s broken hand safe from the world, Janus felt at peace for the first time since the accident.

Everything would be okay.

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littleboy-logan · 3 years

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Secrets Secrets are No Fun (1)

me: im gonna post this tomorrow

me three days later: oops

anyway, have this fanfic ive held onto for fifty years :3 its agere obviously so if you spotted this in the main tags and it makes you uncomfy then block the agere tag and the agere sides/agere sanders sides tags!

Summary: Logan lives an exceptionally ordinary life. He goes to work every morning, he pays his bills, he's a productive member of society. Just like anyone else, however, he has his secrets. He has his hobbies. If anyone found out what happens behind closed doors, they wouldn't look at him the same way again.

Characters: Logan, Remus, Roman (mentioned), Virgil (mentioned)

Pairing(s): future intrulogical & future platonic anxceit (this will be the only warning just cos, but once these ships actually come into play ill put them in the intro again)

Warnings: implied alcohol use (brief), implied toxic parents (brief), and i think thats it but lemme know if i missed anything!

Word count: 1,136

Logan had been lost in the woods for several days and he was growing tired. He had run away from his parents after they started drinking their secret juice that he wasn't allowed to have. Now he was starving and cold and afraid, but at least his parents couldn't yell at him.

His stomach growled especially loudly and he collapsed to the forest floor. He was sure he would die out here. He had run so far. He had no idea how deep these woods got.

Everything around him became blurry, but just before he fell unconscious, he saw someone in a black uniform approach him and call out to someone else.

***

"Sanders, do you have that paperwork done yet?" Logan's boss asked as he approached his cubicle.

"Have it right here, sir," Logan replied as he finished up the last bit of it. He handed it to his boss.

"Good work. Remember, I need that quarterly report by Monday morning."

"Of course, sir. I'm just about done with it."

"Knew I could count on you," his boss said with a grin as he headed back to his office.

Logan silently sighed as he opened up his report on his computer and began typing. His job was tedious, yes, but he could handle tedious. It's not like he had much of a choice anyway if he wanted to make a living.

The day ended soon enough, and Logan packed up his belongings and headed to the bus stop. When it arrived, he climbed aboard and had a seat near the front.

He could feel his brain going fuzzy but forced the feeling away.

The bus reached his side of town and he got off and walked toward his house. Finally, he was home, and he walked through the front door and hung his coat on the rack.

He went up to his room and set his briefcase on his desk. He had a seat in his desk chair and opened up his laptop where his draft for his report stared him in the face.

He was almost done. He could do this.

He began typing, finding that the more he wrote, the more fuzzy his brain got. He fought it off, not having time to indulge himself just yet. He had to keep working.

It wasn't long before he struggled to even read what he was writing.

He sighed heavily and leaned back in his chair. He rubbed his eyes and looked at the screen once again. The words were all jumbled and impossible to read. He couldn't possibly work like this.

He glanced in the direction of the box beneath his bed.

No, maybe he could still work. He just needed to snap out of it. He stared at his keyboard and found each individual letter and sounded them out as he typed. After a few minutes he looked at what he'd typed. It was incoherent garbage.

He threw his head back and groaned loudly. He really had no choice. He did know it was rather unhealthy to put it off for too long anyway.

He looked towards the box beneath his bed again.

He closed his laptop and went to his bed. He knelt beside it and pulled his box out from under it. Inside there was a sippy cup, colouring book, crayons, and a onesie. Not a lot, but enough for now.

He heard his roommate come home and his heart leapt into his throat. He shoved the box back under the bed and got to his feet. He wouldn't be caught dead with his age regressor gear, especially by Remus.

It sounded like he wasn't coming in, thankfully. He had a tendency to barge in without warning, which Logan had scolded him for in the past. He was lucky Remus hadn't found out about his age regression.

Logan's stomach growled, which not only brought back unfortunate memories, but made him that much closer to a fully regressed headspace. If he was being completely honest, he would rather fight back the memories than his regression.

He went to the kitchen, making sure he was still grown up. Remus was eating some ramen with cheese, a common dish for him. Logan wanted something simpler, something that would help him regress. Though, of course, he would have to remain vigilant around Remus.

"Heya, Lo!" Remus greeted, slurping up some noodles. "How's the wife?"

"I'm not married," Logan pointed out confusedly. "And I'm also gay."

"You're married to your job."

"Well... who's to say my job isn't nonbinary?"

Remus nodded. "Touché."

Logan went to find something to eat, but there wasn't much. He settled on a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Crusts cut off, of course.

He got the peanut butter down from the cabinet, his Crofters out of the fridge, and the bread from the bread box. The more he made his sandwich, the smaller he felt. He didn't know if it was the smell of the food or the fact that he was making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, but he knew he had to be careful.

He finished cutting off the crusts, struggling to do so, and sat at the table across from Remus. He tried not to kick his feet, but the temptation to move was strong.

"Did you cut off the crusts?" Remus asked, a slightly incredulous tone to his voice.

Logan froze. "Yeah," he murmured, trying to sound older than he felt.

"The crusts are the best part, though."

Logan frowned and shook his head. "No, the jelly is."

"Says the Crofters junkie," Remus teased.

Logan continued eating, hoping he wasn't too obvious. Perhaps he was taking too big of a risk being around Remus this close to being regressed. Thankfully, he was almost done with his sandwich and then he could leave.

"Oh, hey, Roman invited us and Virgil over to his house this weekend. Which- y'know, tomorrow. You gonna be able to go?"

Logan forced back a smile at the thought of being around Remus's brother. Whenever he was regressed he craved the company of the more fanciful twin, with his flowery language and Disney references and singing.

"Uh, yeah, I can do that. What'll we be doing?"

"Probably dinner and a Disney marathon. Typical Roman."

Logan swallowed the last bite of his sandwich and excused himself, glad he could finally go to his room. He locked the door and got his box back out from under his bed.

He went to the neighbouring bathroom and filled his sippy cup with water and then got changed into his unicorn onesie. He then began colouring in one of his colouring books. He laid in the floor on his stomach with his feet kicking in the air.

Life was more carefree like this. If only anyone could understand.

#virgils fics #agere #agere fic #agere sanders sides #agere sides #agere logan #cg remus #?#at least later on #sanders sides #logan sanders #remus sanders

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averykedavra · 3 years

Note

91. “i’m not kissing you in the rain, we’ll catch our deaths!” with logince, if you’d like?

(A classic! I wrote a version of this here with loroyality, if you’d like to read that, too!)

Words: 3367

Roman knew that real-life romance wasn’t exactly like it was in the movies.

For one thing, kissing sleeping princesses was frowned upon, for obvious reasons. For another, dragons did not usually frequent college campuses. There was also a distinct lack of princes, although there was a tower for the astronomy classes, which could perhaps serve as a prison.

In general, it was highly disappointing.

Still, Roman tried to make the most of it. Some romantic tropes could still be employed--flowers, for instance, or surprise dates, or fountains.

The campus even had a lucky fountain! Toss a penny in at the beginning of the year, and you’d get straight As. Roman had done so, of course. It hadn’t worked. Maybe the luck came on a delayed schedule. Roman still believed.

Roman believed in a lot of things--lucky fountains, fairies, and a Disney-style romance. Just because they hadn’t worked didn’t mean they wouldn’t work! He just had to do them right.

The first two were difficult to tackle during a semester of classes, but the third was attainable.

Especially when his science partner was so cute.

Logan apparently liked science class, which made him a nerd, but Roman could forgive that. It had made their science labs far easier. And it was eclipsed by his cuteness, in a way that somehow made the nerdiness also cute. That was a powerful skill indeed, and one that Logan deployed without thought. Whenever he wrinkled his nose or rolled his eyes or slid into a tangent about physics, Roman found himself in a bubble of happiness.

In a movie, there would be actual bubbles, or maybe flowers. Or maybe just a glow. Things still glowed when Logan was nearby, but Roman was pretty sure that was all in his imagination. He sent a picture of Logan to Virgil, in order to check. You’re in deep, was all that Virgil texted back.

And yes! Yes, Roman was in deep, and he was not ashamed! He was in love. Well, like--he couldn’t quite be in love at first sight, or even fifth study session, because that wasn’t how real life worked. He liked Logan, though. A lot. He wanted to kiss him on the cheek and listen to him talk about space.

It was hard to tell if Logan liked him back. Real life, unfortunately, held the large possibility that Logan did not. But Roman used his incredible observation skills, and by the third time Logan flushed when they bumped shoulders, he was pretty sure.

Logan liked him. Roman liked Logan, too.

Simple--this was the ‘ride into the sunset’ part of things. Except that involved one of them telling the other, and Roman could just say he liked Logan, but that wasn’t what he was supposed to do! He was supposed to woo him! That was how love worked.

So Roman tried to woo his lab partner.

And it went, well, not as poorly as it could have. Logan didn’t do anything extreme, like throw up or declare Roman a fiend. He just--ignored it. He ignored every single flirtatious line Roman threw at him.

At first, Roman could reasonably believe he hadn’t noticed--Logan was a bit naive in social situations, which was incredibly endearing--but he slowly began to doubt that. After he sent Logan flowers and Logan didn’t touch them, Roman gave in. Logan must have noticed. He just didn’t seem to care.

Which didn’t match up with anything. Logan had been interested in him--Roman knew it, and all their friends agreed. So if he was interested, he should be enjoying this!

That was how it worked!

And yes, dragons weren’t real, and yes, lucky fountains didn’t work, but something had to be true. It was called true love for a reason. Roman was supposed to sweep Logan off his feet, kiss him, and like it. That was how the story went.

Yet Logan stubbornly refused to play along.

Roman worked through his entire list of pickup lines. He spent half their study sessions inching his way closer before touching Logan’s hand, and feeling Logan pull away. He bought cookies, was curtly handed back the cookies, and was forced to eat the cookies by himself in his dorm room.

And he’d stop if Logan said no. If Logan clearly said he wasn’t interested--because he could reasonably have changed his mind--or that he didn’t want Roman to do this. But he never said anything. He just acted like it never happened.

Maybe that was a no. Maybe Roman was just not taking the hint. He definitely didn’t want to make his friend uncomfortable, but he couldn’t believe this was it, that he was stuck loveless and embarrassed and barely following along with science class.

He gave himself one more day. One last study session of attempting to drop hints, and if Logan let them fall like lead balloons, he’d cut it out.

“Your shirt looks really cute on you!” Roman said.

Logan hummed and turned a page.

“Oh, that’s how it works?” Roman grinned. “I get it now! You’re so smart.”

“Thank you,” Logan said. “It wasn’t that hard.”

“Cute, smart, and humble. Triple threat!”

Logan shrugged a bit and returned to the worksheet.

“Aw, I don’t want this to be over,” Roman said as the sky darkened. “Do you want to meet up again soon?”

“We have class together next week,” Logan pointed out.

“No, like--on our own.” Roman held out a hand. “Like a date.”

Logan looked at his hand, back up, and closed his notes. “I should get going, I think it’s going to rain.”

Roman’s stomach sank as he watched Logan stand and gather his things. Eventually, he put his own books away. The library was quiet as he followed Logan to the door. He couldn’t find the courage to make conversation.

Logan pulled open the door and peered out. “It’s already drizzling.”

“I have an umbrella?” Roman suggested, pulling out his umbrella. “If you don’t have one, I can walk you to where you need to go?”

“Oh!” Logan smiled at him. “Thank you, Roman, I’d appreciate that.”

And see, this was what messed with Roman! Logan didn’t seem bothered by the flirting, as he still treated Roman normally, so was he mad or was he uncomfortable or was he oblivious or was he--

Roman opened the umbrella, held it over Logan’s head, and gestured to the door.

“A rainbow umbrella,” Logan said. “Of course.”

“I’m gay! I have to show it!” Roman winked at Logan. “Now, come on, Specs, where are you headed?”

“My dorm building,” Logan said, as they carefully stepped outside. Roman held the umbrella above both of them, his arm around Logan’s shoulders. Logan didn’t seem to mind. “Are you sure the umbrella will fit both of us?”

“It seems to work!” Roman shuffled forward, and Logan followed. “It’s like those three-legged races, we just have to step in unison.”

Logan nodded and watched Roman’s feet, his nose wrinkling adorably, like it always did when he focused. “Step now?”

“Step now!” Roman grinned. “Step, step, step in time, step in time--”

“No Mary Poppins.”

“But Julie Andrews!”

Logan huffed, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. “I’m not going to sing it with you, I hope you know that.”

“Good enough for me!” Roman declared. “Step in time, step in time, never need a reason, never need a rhyme.”

The rain was already falling faster. They walked in awkward unison down the sidewalk, past the parking lot, and towards the dorm buildings. They sat like brick lumps on the other side of the quad. All the grass was already muddy, and nobody was around, except for a few freshmen running to the Humanities building with coats over their heads.

“I should have brought my umbrella,” Logan complained as the rain increased. “The water is dripping down my neck.”

“Oh, it is?” Roman shifted his arm. “Does that work better?”

“For me, yes.” Logan looked up at him. “I think the water is now dripping down your neck.”

“I don’t mind,” Roman lied, ignoring the sensation of cold water in his collar.

“Here, let me adjust it.” Logan stopped walking and reached for the umbrella handle. “If we both stand under the dome, we won’t get wet.”

Roman laughed. “Is there an equation for that?”

“I’m hardly going to etch it into the grass, am I?” Logan moved forward and pulled the umbrella off-center. “No, that’s worse. Stay still--”

Roman had no trouble with staying still, because he had just realized he was inches from Logan, one arm around his shoulders. He could lean forward and hug him, or tap his nose, or--kiss him. Yeah. That was what people did when they were close to people they liked.

The rain drummed on the umbrella as Logan adjusted it, fully focused. Kissing in the rain. That was definitely what people did. A romantic gesture.

Roman took a deep breath.

“Logan?” he asked.

Logan’s hands stilled on the umbrella handle. “Yes?”

“I--” Roman laughed a bit. “Your hair is damp.”

“Oh.” Logan batted at it, and only managed to flatten it further out of position. “That’s disappointing.”

“It looks cute,” Roman said.

And Logan flushed, just a bit.

That was enough of a go-ahead.

“You know what people do in the rain,” Roman said. He tried to sound a bit joking, but not too joking, and ended up squarely in awkward.

“I do?”

“Uh.” Roman steeled his nerves. “They kiss. It’s romantic.”

Logan blinked at him. “Oh. How is that relevant--”

Roman made a small, meaningless hand motion.

Logan’s mouth formed a small o.

For a second, it was quiet, the rain drumming on the umbrella.

“I mean,” Roman said, deciding to dig his hole deeper and bury himself, “most people do it in the rain. Like, all wet. There aren’t usually umbrellas involved.”

Logan looked affronted. “I’m not kissing you in the rain! We’ll catch our death!”

“We’ll just get a bit damp.”

“Absolutely not,” Logan said firmly. “I am not going out from under this umbrella, and I am not kissing you in the rain.”

“Okay, fine,” Roman said, cursing every word that left his mouth. “But what’s the verdict on kissing in general?”

Logan blinked again. Roman wondered if he’d attempt to ignore the situation again, or steal his umbrella and run. He hoped not. He liked this umbrella.

“I...” Logan let out a long breath. “I am not kissing you. Rain or otherwise.”

“Oh,” Roman said.

“I’m sorry,” Logan added quickly, and he did look sorry. “I hoped you would leave it alone, but it seems really important to you, and I’m sorry. I’m just not--interested.”

“In...me?” Roman swallowed. He was not going to cry. “You’re not interested in me.”

“No--” Logan started. “I mean, yes, but--” He stopped, looking frustrated. “I’m not interested in that. Kissing. Or rain. Or--romantic things like that.”

Roman’s eyes widened. He hadn’t expected that turn of events. “You aren’t?”

Logan shook his head. “I’m aromantic. I’m not interested in a romantic relationship with anyone. Well, actually, some aromantic people do pursue romantic relationships. More accurately, I don’t experience romantic attraction.”

“You can do that?”

Logan raised an eyebrow and gave Roman a look that told him he was on extremely thin ice. “Yes.”

“I mean, that’s really cool!” Roman said quickly. “And makes a lot of sense. I just didn’t realize that was a thing.”

“Yes, it’s a ‘thing,’” Logan said. “You can doubtless find more online.”

“Huh,” Roman said. Things began to make a bit more sense. “Oh, gosh, I’m incredibly sorry for flirting with you! I didn’t realize--”

“It’s fine.” Logan paused and coughed a bit into his hand. “I-didn’t-mind-that-much.”

“What?”

“I--” Logan looked embarrassed. “I didn’t mind. It was...nice.”

“Really?” Roman asked. “But you said you didn’t like romantic stuff--”

“You were only complimenting me!” Logan said. “You said I was--cute. I enjoyed it. I only ignored it because I knew you meant it in a romantic sense, and I didn’t want to lead you on.”

Roman stared at him. Now things made more and less sense. “You didn’t mind it when I called you cute, though?”

Logan stared at his feet. The rain drummed around them.

“You hadn’t heard of aromantic,” Logan finally said, “so I doubt you’ve heard of this, either. But--the word is queerplatonic. And it’s, um--” Logan waved a hand. He was definitely blushing. It was completely adorable. “Even though some aromantic people don’t experience romantic attraction, they still have queerplatonic partners. For me, it’s like--I don’t want to kiss anyone, or do many traditionally romantic things, but--”

Roman nodded, making a mental note to do a lot of research. And also to hug Logan, when they were less wet, because he’d just fully comprehended that Logan had come out. That took bravery! And Roman was a bit honored that Logan trusted him enough to share.

“But I still like people,” Logan said. “In a--non-platonic way. I want to spend time with them, hold hands...” His voice trailed off. “Call them cute,” he finally said, barely loud enough for Roman to hear.

“Oh,” Roman said, again, because he didn’t have anything else to say.

“And I like you.” Logan looked up at him. “I do, Roman, a lot. Just--not in the way you were hoping. I don’t mind kisses on the cheek, but I’m never going to kiss you in the rain, and I would never be a romantic partner.”

The rain was still steady. Roman was pretty sure his arm was outside the umbrella, since it was getting drenched, but he didn’t care.

“So I apologize,” Logan said. “For that, and for all the miscommunication, because I should have told you instead of--letting it happen.”

Letting it happen. Because Logan liked it, he appreciated it, he might have even become flustered--Roman called him cute, and Logan liked it.

And Roman should have been heartbroken, or at least disappointed. His crush didn’t reciprocate his feelings! Roman liked Logan romantically, and Logan didn’t return that. No romantic flowers or lucky fountains or kisses in the rain. Just another thing that real life lacked.

The rain soaked slowly through Roman’s sleeve. Logan was probably right, anyway. Kissing in the rain would be cold and not fun at all. Roman couldn’t imagine why anyone would want to--

Wait.

Was the rain the issue? Or was it something else?

Roman stared at Logan. His lab partner. Logan was cute and adorable and smart and incredibly sweet, and Roman liked him a lot, and Roman wanted to--

Roman wanted to what?

Kiss him on the cheek. Hold his hand. Watch him ramble. Compliment him and see him blush. Maybe spend time together at coffee shops, or get him a present for his birthday, or even live together at some point--be together.

And that was all romantic. Obviously.

Wasn’t it?

Roman mentally ran through all his daydreams about Logan. Lots of hand holding. Leaning his shoulder into Logan’s. Hugging, or cuddling, or dropping a kiss on the top of his head.

Nowhere on that list was a kiss on the lips. Or a romantic date. Spending time together, sure, but it was different, it was--

Oh.

Huh.

“Aromantic,” Roman blurted out. “That was the word, right?”

“Um--” Logan looked a bit surprised. Roman realized he must have been standing there for several minutes, completely silent. “Yes.”

“So it’s people that don’t experience romantic attraction,” Roman continued. “Do--is it possible for them to kind of want romance anyway? Or think they do?”

“I don’t,” Logan said, “if that’s what you’re asking--”

“No, I’m--” Roman blew out a breath. “I’m trying to figure something out.”

Logan watched him carefully, but nodded. “Yes, some people enjoy romantic activities while not experiencing romantic attraction. Or their romantic attraction may be partial or fluctuate--it’s a spectrum--or they could simply believe they need to do traditionally romantic things, because of society’s focus on romantic love.”

Roman nodded very rapidly. "Cool. So cool. Cool-cool-cool.”

“Are you...” Logan looked confused. “Alright?”

“Yes? Maybe?” Roman laughed a bit wildly. “I am really not sure. Can you give me a second?”

“Okay?”

“Okay.” Roman took a deep breath. Logan was still watching him, glasses flecked with drops of rain. Logan was a good friend. They’d be friends no matter what, and that wasn’t less than anything. Roman could happily love him as a friend.

Friends didn’t daydream about making each other smile.

Friends didn’t want to kiss each other--on the cheek, on the nose, in rain or not. And--and not on the lips. Not really at all.

Roman knew how love worked. He’d seen the movies. Fall in love, kiss, get married, ride into the sunset. That was how everyone did it. That was what he was supposed to want.

But movies also had dragons and lucky fountains and princes. None of those things were quite the same in real life. In real life, kisses in the rain were just soggy and cold and entirely un-romantic.

In real life, Roman didn’t want to kiss someone in the rain.

Or someone outside of it, either.

True love. Roman always knew what true love looked like. But maybe he didn’t understand love as well as he thought.

Maybe things worked a little bit differently in real life.

And maybe--that was okay.

“Uh,” Roman said eloquently. “You were saying something about--queerplatonic?”

“Yes?” Logan asked. “Why?”

“Uh,” Roman said again. “So, like--partners. Together. But not, like, dating.”

“Yes.” Logan’s expression tightened. “Roman, you don’t have to--if that’s not what you’d like, it wouldn’t work--”

“It is, though.” It felt like a dragon-sized weight had flown off his shoulders. “It is--I don’t think I ever wanted that stuff, everyone just told me I did, and I--I just kinda want to be with you. I don’t know if that makes me aromantic or what, and I can probably figure that part out at some point, but--yeah. I...like calling you cute, because you are. I like studying with you. And I like being with you. Rain or otherwise.”

Logan watched him with wide eyes. “You’re--serious?”

“Yeah!” Roman beamed. “You just, like, made my entire life make sense, which is kind of terrifying but also very cool and everything is different now and I still really like you.”

“Oh,” Logan said, quietly. “Oh,” he said again.

“So, uh--” Roman’s confidence fizzled a bit. “I dunno. But--would you be interested in going out to eat? Or doing something together on our own? Like--a queerplatonic date?”

“Oh,” Logan said a third time. He was blushing violently. “Er--yes, if you’d be amiable to it, I’d enjoy--”

“Yes!” Roman cheered loudly. “Thank you!”

“You’re welcome.” Logan adjusted his glasses. “It sounds...nice.”

“It really does, doesn’t it?” Roman smiled at him and adjusted the umbrella. “We should talk about this more, of course, but it’s still raining and you have places to be.”

“Oh! Right!” Logan huffed. “We’ve been standing together in the quad like a pair of fools.”

“A pair of fools basically sums us up,” Roman agreed. “A pair of fools in love,” he added in a sing-song voice.

“Hey,” Logan complained, blushing again.

“So cute,” Roman said. “You adorable nerd, and I can say that to you now, holy Hera--”

“You certainly can,” Logan said, attempting to cover his face. “Congratulations.”

“Aww, no, come on!” Roman gently tugged Logan’s arms away from his face. “There you are!”

Logan wrinkled his nose. And on impulse, Roman leaned forward and kissed him on the forehead.

Logan’s squeak was the most adorable thing Roman had ever heard. He leaned back into place and gave Logan a second to compose himself.

“You know, I think I was right,” Roman said after Logan finally stopped malfunctioning. “Kissing in the rain is pretty fun after all!”

“Shut up,” Logan said. “And you said most people don’t do it under umbrellas.”

“You said we’d get cold!” Roman smiled at him. “Besides, I think I’m allowed to rewrite the story a bit.”

Logan smiled back. “If you’d like to.”

“I’d definitely like to,” Roman said, pulling Logan closer and holding the umbrella above them. “‘Cause this way, I feel like I’m doing it right.”

Give me a prompt, and I’ll write a short drabble!

#logince #roman sanders #logan sanders #sanders sides #queerplatonic logince #me: okay no more long fics only short and sweet #me: promptly writes a confession fic #anyway welcome back to 'avery writes qprs by projecting their relationship with their partner onto the characters'#like shhh my qpp is lovely and makes for very good inspiration #asks and answers #anon #averywrites #(also yes this is all going super slow i apologize i have to eat now but i will write more prompts soon i promise)

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hottestthingalive · 3 years

Text

Changes, Tricks, and Trust

He does what he can. And sometimes, doing what he can means that, when he opens the door for trick-or-treaters while his dad is wrangling Remus into his pirate costume and finds a man holding hands with a kid younger than even Roman and Remus (wearing a scientist costume and a cat costume, respectively,) who introduces himself as “Logan Abbott, and this is Patton. You must be Janus,” he just glares, and slams the door in their faces.

—

In which the Carroll siblings conspire against their father’s new boyfriend, Logan makes a promise, and Janus has a grudge against omelets.

Notes: Look, okay, we’re all very aware this is two hours past Halloween, and an hour into No-Content November, but I wrote this in a day and am operating under the logic that it is both Halloween and not November somewhere, so let’s pretend we’re all okay with this and move on. Virgil also calls Roman and Remus peanut butter and jelly, which makes up for all my sins.

Roman also knows lots of words he shouldn’t at his age, because I am, in fact, projecting myself at six onto him. Let him have a big vocabulary!

(He also mispronounces most of the words. This is still projecting. I apologize in advance.)

Many thanks to @smileyzs, who stayed up far too late to help me edit, and the rest of @waffle-gang-incorrect-quotes, who had to listen to me ranting about this as I wrote it. Y’all deserve the world. Thank you for putting up with me, and this fic.

Warnings: Implied gore (but not really), food mentions (mostly candy), a fair bit of angst, Janus manipulating his brothers but not in an intentionally cruel way.

Relationships: Romantic Analogical, familial logicality, familial virgil, janus, roman and remus, platonic loceit, intrulogical, and logince.

Words: 5328

Ao3

Enjoy!

—

“Roman, Remus,” Virgil says calmly, holding up a knife, stained with guts and gore, the key piece of evidence to the brutal mutilations of two innocents, “who decided to carve ‘Logan is a butt’ into our pumpkins?”

They point at each other, faces the picture of wide-eyed innocence. Virgil is not fooled.

“Janus, do you know anything about this?” he asks, turning away from the twins to look at his nine year old, who is currently pretending to be very occupied with the book he is reading at the dinner table. Virgil wonders if Janus knows that he hasn’t turned a page in the last five minutes. Probably not.

“Oh, why would I ever do that?” Janus wonders, looking up from the book, his puppy-eyes matching those of the twins. “It really is too bad though. Clearly, you can’t have Logan over for Halloween anymore. Tragic.”

Virgil pinches the bridge of his nose in exasperation. “Janus, you’re the only one tall enough to reach the knife block, and I found the knife hidden under Remus’ bed. I know it was you three.” He puts the knife down on the table, really hoping the pumpkin guts won’t stain the wood, and says “Kids, remember what we said about playing with knives without adult supervision?”

“Not to do it,” the twins mumble in unison. Janus says “Do it only when we’re in trouble, like defending ourselves from a vicious intruder about to invade our home?” instead, which was not the answer Virgil was looking for, and he’s very sure Janus knows it.

“Look,” Virgil says, sitting down in one of the chairs that his kids have covered in fake cobwebs and pumpkin stickers, “I’ve already invited Logan and Patton over. And I… I really, really like him. A lot.” He turns a bit red, at that, and ignores Janus rolling his eyes. “But if you guys really think he’s that bad after you meet him tonight, I’ll break up with him, okay? You three are always going to be my top priority. Just promise me you’ll keep an open mind, yeah?”

“Okay,” Roman agrees, and runs to jump up into Virgil’s lap, burying his head in Virgil’s shoulder. “I’m sorry we messed up the pumpkins and were mean to Mr. Logan, Dad.”

“It’s okay, peanut butter,” Virgil tells him. He expected Roman to be the apologetic one — for a six year old, his son has developed quite the sense of right and wrong. He’s a bit more surprised when Remus does the same, squirming into the hug and saying “I’m sorry we called him a butt.” He snickers, a bit, which makes Virgil think he’s not all that sorry, but he lets it go.

“Thank you, jelly,” he says, and looks expectantly at Janus.

“Sure, whatever,” Janus says, snapping the book closed. “I’m sorry we messed up your decorations, Dad.”

“I don’t care about the decorations, hon,” Virgil reminds him. “I’m just glad you guys didn’t get hurt, okay? No more knives. Now c’mere, Jan.”

Janus begrudgingly joins the hug, wrapping his arms around Virgil and the twins both, and they just sit like that, Virgil and his children, in the quiet of the kitchen.

“Okay,” he says finally, “let's get you into your costumes, yeah?”

—

Janus just wants his dad to be happy.

He saw what happened the last times his dad went on dates. He got all excited. Dressed up. Kissed his sons goodbye, smiling and happy and practically dancing on clouds.

And then, one day, he’d come home a bit off. He’d put on a smile, he’d act like everything was fine, but then he’d make them omelets for dinner.

Janus hates omelets, because Dad only makes omelets when he’s sad.

He’s heard his dad talking about it on the phone late at night with Uncle Remy, who isn’t really their uncle, but who calls himself their uncle every time he comes over anyways. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” Dad will say, with his voice choked up like he’s crying, and Janus will stand with his back against the door and hear Remy’s voice murmur something soothing, always including curse words about his dad’s ex which Janus isn’t supposed to know the meanings of.

Janus isn’t supposed to be up, on those nights. But he is, usually, staying up after they’re put to bed every time Dad makes omelets for dinner, because he knows that once he hangs up, he can wander into his dad’s room with some mumbled excuse about nightmares and do his best to comfort him without mentioning the breakup at all.

“Who was that?” his dad asks as he enters the room, holding Remus in his arms, who is finally in his costume, and not running around naked, as he has been for the last eight minutes.

“No one,” Janus says, the picture of innocence, and then the doorbell rings again. “I’ll get it!”

“No, it’s fine,” his dad says, already crossing the room towards the door. “I’ve got it, honey. Thank you, though!”

He opens the door, and his face transforms, going from Regular-Dad-Face to his Sappy-Dumb-Blushy-Face. Janus hates the Sappy-Dumb-Blushy-Face.

“Logan!” Dad says, all high-pitched and pink cheeks, and Janus braces himself to be ratted out by stupid, stupid Logan Abbott. Which is a stupid name, too.

“Hello, Virgil,” says dumb, stupid, Dad-stealing Logan, whose voice is all soft, which just gets Janus angrier, because he’s making an effort to sound genuine about it. “And you must be one of the twins. What’s your name?”

Janus feels rather gratified when Remus just sticks out his tongue, though less so when his dad says “Remus, be nice,” in his Please, Kids, We Talked About This voice. “Come in! This is Janus, and Roman should be right down.”

Logan looks over at Janus as the door closes behind him, and Janus crosses his arms over his chest. He waits for him to say “Ah, yes, we met earlier,” or “Right, I remember,” or even “He slammed the door in our faces earlier,” but all that Logan says is “It’s nice to meet you, Janus,” with the kind of smile that sappy people in movies wear. He thinks, reluctantly, that it’s a nice smile, and that the kid, at least, doesn’t seem so bad.

“Octopus!” says the boy beside him, pointing at Janus, with pure glee in his big brown eyes. “Octopus!”

“I’m a kraken,” he grumbles, all kind thoughts towards his dad’s stupid boyfriend and his dumb kid gone.

This Halloween is gonna suck.

—

“You’re a dumb scientist,” Remus says to Mr. Logan, arms crossed across his chest, as Roman and Janus mutter together behind them, his dad walking with the little kid who had introduced himself as ‘Patpat!’ and whom the adults call ‘Patton’. His dad has managed to fix the pumpkins, despite all odds, and they look rather nice as they walk away, off into the wilds of the neighborhood for some trick-or-treating.

Remus has been designated the distraction while his brothers figure out a way to get Logan Abbott to go home and leave their dad alone. “You’re good at being a distraction!” Roman chirps, and Janus mutters “And you won’t betray us like Roman would.”

He is good at being a distraction. And he loves his dad more than anything (except maybe his brothers) and Janus is very smart, and if he says getting Mr. Logan to go away will make their dad happy, Remus will believe him.

Plus, it is a dumb costume.

“Why am I a dumb scientist?” asks Mr. Logan, who doesn’t seem very insulted by this, merely curious.

“Your lab coat is covered in green and blue and red,” Remus tells him, using his sword to point at the splotches. “Everyone knows potions are green and blue and purple. And you’re a butt.”

“Well,” Mr. Logan says, and though his eyes curl up like he’s smiling, his expression is still neutral, “I had my assistant deal with all the purple ones, because purple potions smell bad.” (Remus wants to laugh at that, just a little bit.) “And the red isn’t from potions.”

“What’s the red, then?” asks Remus, despite himself.

“The blood of my enemies,” says Mr. Logan matter-of-factly.

“Cool,” he breathes, looking at Logan with newfound respect. “Why’d you murder them?”

“I am an evil scientist,” he answers, adjusting his glasses. “It is in the job description.”

“Cool!”

“Also a butt as well, apparently,” Mr. Logan adds thoughtfully. “I wonder if I can add that to my official scientist business cards. ‘Dr. Logan Abbott, Mad Scientist and Butt Extraordinaire.’”

“Bad guys get business cards?” Remus asks, having forgotten altogether about being a distraction. “I’m a pirate. Do I get a business card?”

“Are you a good pirate or a bad pirate?”

“I’m a bad pirate,” he declares, waving his sword in the air. “Roro is a prince-sailor-man, like Prince Eric from Disney, and Janny is an evil kraken we have to team up against! And Dad is a wicked witch who sent the kraken.”

“A wicked witch, huh?” Mr. Logan says, glancing behind him at where Dad and Patton are. Remus follows his gaze. Dad certainly doesn’t look very wicked, even though he’s wearing a cloak and a hat and scary makeup, but maybe that’s just because he’s smiling, holding hands with Mr. Logan’s kid as Patton babbles on about something.

It’s hard for his dad to look evil in general, to Remus at least, but especially when he smiles. He’s never found Dad to be very scary, not like he’d been able to spook Roman and Janus every so often, but when he’s smiling, when he’s happy, he just looks like home.

And Mr. Logan looks so happy, too, looking at his dad, and, well, Roman is the romantic of the house, but Remus has been forced to sit through every one of his brother’s Disney movie watchings, and his favorite movie had always been the Princess Bride (which Dad thinks is too old for Remus and Roman, but lets them watch with him and Janus anyways.) Mr. Logan looks like all the movies, all the descriptions in books, all the stories of love Remus has ever heard. Love-struck, his mind supplies.

“Yes,” Mr. Logan says, looking back at Remus, that lovey-dovey gaze gone but his eyes still so, so happy, “I think you’d get a business card. What would you put on it?”

He grins, and starts describing his Evil Pirate Captain Remus Caroll cards. Privately, he thinks that, no matter what Janus says, anyone who looks at his dad like that can’t be so bad.

Plus, Logan’s evil, like him. And he’s okay with being called a butt, which means maybe he’ll teach Remus more, even better insults.

—

“Aw, beans,” Roman says when he sees Remus happily chatting with the enemy. Janus has stronger language in mind, the kind of words that would get him grounded.

Sure enough, when Remus returns to them, carrying his candy basket in one hand and his sword in the other, he scuffs his sneaker-clad foot against the ground in a way that Janus knows to mean I’m about to say something you really won’t like.

“He’s nice,” Remus says defiantly, and Janus scoffs.

Fine. He has to do everything himself, huh?

If it’s up to him to protect their dad from Logan Abbott, that’s fine. He just has to keep Roman on his side for as long as possible, right?

“So you’re abandoning us?!” he snaps anyways, because despite everything, he’s hurt. He didn’t think Remus, of all people, would turn so quickly. “What about Dad?”

“I think he likes Dad!” Remus protests. “A lot! It’s like all those Disney movies!”

Roman looks between them, clearly conflicted. Uh-oh, Janus thinks.

“Hans seemed like he liked Anna a lot!” he answers, hands on his hips. “We’ve got to be Dad’s heroes, right, Roman?”

Roman’s expression solidifies into righteous anger. “We gotta keep Dad safe,” he agrees, reaching out to hold Janus’ hand. Janus, meanwhile, tries to ignore Remus’ hurt expression the best he can.

“Here,” he says, reaching into his bag and digging out a pack of gummy worms. “I know they’re your favorite.”

Remus’ expression brightens as Janus drops them into his candy basket. “Thanks, Janjan!” he says, beaming.

“Just don’t get in our way,” he says, and turns towards Logan.

“Okay, Roman,” he says. “You know what to do.”

His brother trots forwards, successfully swapping places with Remus, who drops back to go walk with Dad and Patton. Janus comes up on Logan’s other side, pointedly looking at the ground.

“Hello, Roman, Janus,” Logan says. “How is trick-or-treating going?”

“Good!” Roman says, cheery as always, though Janus can see his hands trembling. Janus doesn’t respond.

“I like your costume,” Logan tells his brother, and sounds almost sincere about it. “You’re a prince, right?”

“A sea-prince!” Roman declares, puffing out his chest. “Thank you, Mr. Logan!” Janus shoots him a glare, and Roman just winks. He blinks, taming his expression slightly.

Huh. Seems Roman is being much smarter about this than he had thought.

“Y’know,” Roman says, cheery as ever, “Dad’s told us so much about you, Mr. Logan!”

“Does he?” he asks, raising an eyebrow. “What does he tell you, then?”

“Wellllll,” Roman hums, turning on the puppy-eyes. “I’m not sure you want to know, Mr. Logan.”

“If you don’t want to tell me, that is perfectly fine,” Logan answers, which is both completely against the plan and infuriatingly heartfelt.

“He says you’re, uh, stupid,” Janus mutters, taking matters into his own hands.

“Yes!” Roman exclaims. “Very stupid. And, and a big ol’ butt! And a meanie. And insuff-bly rude to your co-workers.”

Janus barely resists to smack a hand to his face — that last bit is stolen word for word from Uncle Remy’s rants to Dad about his boss when he comes over for dinner, and mispronounced at that! — but it seems to have worked, as Logan looks rather shocked.

“Oh, did he?” he asks, seemingly distressed. Yes! “Oh dear. That’s not very kind of him, was it?”

“Nope!” Janus answers, suddenly cheerful. Yes, yes! Now stupid Logan would go away, and Dad would be safe, and there would be no omelets for dinner or anything-

“I’d better go talk to him about it,” Logan says decisively. No, no, NO!

“Oh, you don’t have to do that,” Roman says, experiencing the same panic, but Logan is already dropping back to walk beside Dad, picking up Patton, who giggles and throws his arms around Logan to hug him.

“Damn it!” Janus exclaims, stomping in his anger.

“You cursed!” Roman says in shock, pointing at him.

“Yes, Roman, I cursed,” he snaps. “That didn’t work at all!”

Roman looks on the verge of crying, and he instantly regrets it. “Sorry, Ro,” he says, reaching out to take his brother’s hand again. “You didn’t do anything wrong. It was my dumb plan.”

“It wasn’t dumb,” Roman says, sniffling. “Mr. Logan’s the dumb one.”

“Yeah,” Janus agrees, and glances back at his dad and Logan. Dad looks all smitten again, and Logan, disgustingly, looks equally sappy. “We’re not gonna get anything done with them like that. Let’s… let’s just trick or treat with Remus for now, okay? We’ve got this.”

“Okay,” Roman agrees, and pulls Janus back to where their brother is happily munching on a Snickers bar.

They do end up having fun. And with Patton there, for all the dumb, costume-mistaking kid’s faults, adults are too busy cooing over him to care that Janus and Roman and Remus take a few pieces of candy from the bowls.

Okay, Janus thinks as they return to the house, time for Plan B.

—

Roman glares at the villainous intruder seated beside his father on the couch, as he and Remus and Janus trade candy on the floor. He’ll thwart this Logan Abbott’s evil plans! He’s a prince, after all!

“I’m gonna start making dinner,” Dad says, standing up. “I know it’s late, sorry. How does grilled cheese sound?”

“That sounds amazing,” the villain says, smiling like Hans at Anna in the beginning of the movie. “Do you want any help?”

“Just watch the kids for me, please?” Dad asks, and Roman nearly gags as he kisses the Hans-ome Villain on the cheek. Hadn’t Dad learned anything from Frozen?!

“Yeah, of course,” agrees Roman’s nefarious nemesis. Roman narrows his eyes, and checks again to make sure the fireplace is off, and that Mr. Logan — no, Dr. Logan, he’s too evil to be a mister, just look at his lab coat! — is sufficiently blocked off from it. He’s not a snowman, and neither are his brothers, but one could never be too careful! Princes always made sure to have all of their weaknesses defended against!

Janus follows their dad into the kitchen, but not before he glances at Roman and mouths Keep him busy, as he points at their vile adversary. It also could have been Reap the city, but Roman is pretty sure that doesn’t make any sense.

Remus, the traitor, is playing with Patton. “I’m the tickle zombie!” he declares loudly, sticking out his tongue and making groaning noises, wiggling his fingers at Patton, who squeals in excitement and darts away. “Twickle zomvie!” he yells to his father, who nods gravely.

“You had best run, Patton,” Mr. Logan tells him. “I hear tickle zombies are ruthless creatures.”

“Tickle zombie,” Remus groans in agreement, and Patton screams again, running towards the kitchen.

There is silence in the living room for a few minutes after that, until Logan finally says “What’s your favorite kind of candy, Roman?”

“Like I’d tell you that, you mal-volent maley-factor!” he exclaims, drawing his sword and pointing it at him. “You’d probably poison all the Starbursts!” He quickly realizes his mistake, and does his best to look even fiercer.

“Why would I do that? I like them too, I’ll have you know,” Mr. Logan says, though he looks rather surprised. “How old are you, Roman?”

“...Six,” he says grudgingly, when he can’t figure out how this bad-natured boyfriend of Dad’s would use his age against him.

“You have a very impressive vocabulary for six, Roman,” the execrable evil-doer tells him, raising an eyebrow.

“Janus and Dad and kindergarten taught me to read,” he says proudly. “And we ran out of books for me, so I’ve been reading the dictionary when we can’t go to the library!”

“That is very impressive,” Mr. Logan repeats. “What’s your favorite book?”

“It’s-” he starts, but then remembers Mr. Logan is the enemy. “None of your beeswax!”

Mr. Logan doesn’t seem as hurt by that as Roman would have expected, and silence reigns over the living room for a few minutes (save for when Patton and Remus come sprinting in and out of it). Roman finally lowers his sword, putting it beside him.

“I can teach you to use that,” the atrocious antagonist says finally, gesturing to the sword.

“What?” Roman asks, immediately on the defense. “I can use it fine, Padre’s poisonous partner!”

“I’m sure you can,” Mr. Logan says, adjusting his glasses, “and a very good insult, by the way, but I took fencing for many years. I can at least give you a few tips, hm?”

“...Fine,” Roman agrees, intrigued despite his best efforts.

Besides, how bad can loathsome Mr. Logan be if he likes Starbursts, anyways?

—

Janus knows he has lost Roman when he comes bounding into the room when Dad says “Dinner!” exclaiming “Dad, can I take fencing?”

“Logan Abbott,” Dad says, far too affectionate, “have you been teaching my son sword-fighting?”

“Maybe just a bit,” Logan says, not-so-subtly returning the broom to its place near the back door. “Is that… Is that alright?”

“Of course it’s alright,” Dad replies, handing him a plate of grilled cheese, complete with tomato soup. “It’s very sweet of you. This is all he’ll be talking about for months, though, I hope you know that.”

“It’s so cool, Dad!” Roman exclaims, proving his point. Remus is already sitting besides Patton, tearing into his grilled cheese, and Janus feels something cold settle into his stomach.

“Brothers conference, now,” he declares, standing up and marching towards the living room. He’s gratified to see that the twins still follow him, at least, even if they have been swayed to the side of Logan Abbott.

“I like him, Jan!” Roman says immediately, eyes wide and pleading. “He’s nice! And Dad likes him, and Remus does too!”

“And Patton’s great too,” Remus adds, crossing his arms over his chest. “I don’t wanna be mean to them!”

“What about Dad?” Janus exclaims, desperate. “Remember the last time we liked one of Dad’s dates?”

He’s referring to She-Who-Will-Not-Be-Named, who had looked so nice in photos, who Dad had spoken of like an angel, but who had met them with a fixed smile and broken up with Dad only a few weeks later. Remus’ face falls, but Roman’s expression only hardens.

“Logan’s not like that,” he insists. “We won’t help you anymore, Jan.”

His brothers leave him alone in the living room, and Janus scowls at the ground. Fine. If they won’t help him, he’ll do it himself. He doesn’t need them anyways!

He ignores the choking feeling in his chest and the burning at the corners of his eyes as he returns to the table.

Fine.

—

Patton likes Virgil and his family.

Remus is funny, and Roman knows all about all the princesses, and Janus, for all his grumpy-wumpies, has the best costume. And Virgil is so nice, and makes the best jokes, too!

Patton is all of four years old, and he, quite honestly, finds himself liking everything and everyone. But he especially likes his Papa’s boyfriend’s family.

They’re nice. And they make his papa happy, too, and he doesn’t feel scared around them at all. He’s pretty sure Janus could beat up any monsters in his octopus — no, kraken — costume anyways.

Janus looks sad when he comes back to the table, face all red and angry, and Patton reaches across to pat him on one of his tentacles. “You’re a very good kwaken,” he says.

Janus just stares at him. “...Sure, whatever,” he answers, turning away and taking a huge bite out of his grilled cheese. Patton is impressed, frankly.

Papa has told him that Virgil being his boyfriend means that he and Virgil are like Nate-from-daycare’s parents, romantic partners. Patton asked if that means if he and Virgil are gonna get married someday, like Nate’s, and his dad’s face turned all red. “Maybe,” he said.

Patton hopes so. He’d like to have Virgil as his other dad, he thinks. Virgil is nice. And Patton has begged for siblings so many times that getting Janus and Remus and Roman in the bargain is like what his dad says about cool things — bee’s knees. They’re like the bee’s knees!

So, Patton is hopeful.

He pats Janus’ tentacles once more. Hopefully, his maybe-future-big-brother will feel better soon.

—

“I just want to stay up for an extra hour, Dad,” Janus says, nearly pleading. “It’s Halloween! Just until Mr. Logan goes home.”

His dad looks desperately between him and Logan, who is sitting in the living room with Patton in his lap, snoozing against his chest. The twins had fallen asleep halfway through the movie, and Dad is holding Roman in his arms, Remus already tucked in upstairs.

“It’s alright, Virgil,” Logan says. “It is Halloween, and I’m trapped here anyways.” He gestures to Patton on his lap, and Dad laughs at that. “I’ll keep an eye on him.”

“Thank you so much, L,” Janus’ dad says, obviously relieved. “I’ll be right down, okay?”

“Okay,” Logan nods, returning Dad’s smile with one of his own.

“You should just go now,” Janus says once his dad is upstairs. “You ruined Halloween. And Dad hates you, and we hate you, so you should just go home!”

“I am aware that you don’t like me, Janus,” Logan tells him softly, far too nice. He’s the kind of wonderful guy that would have Dad making omelets for days afterwards, unbearably sad. “And… I must confess, I do not understand why. Do I truly make you that uncomfortable?”

“I don’t care about you,” he snaps, sinking back into the couch cushions, refusing to look at Logan, eyes on the credits rolling across the TV screen instead. “But I won’t let you hurt my dad.”

“Hurt your father?” Logan repeats, eyes wide. “Why on Earth would I do that?”

It is late, and Janus is tired, and he still feels like crying. And so he finds himself spilling it all, from the omelets to She-Who-Will-Not-Be-Named to his dad’s calls with Uncle Remy. He’s crying, he finds, partway through, and Logan doesn’t reach out to hug him or anything like that, but he listens. He nods, and he asks questions at all the right times, and passes Janus the tissues from the coffee table whenever he needs them.

“Janus,” Logan Abbott says when he is done, and he looks like he wants to cry, too, “may I promise you something, now?”

Janus nods, too tired to do anything else, and he gets the feeling that if he had shaken his head, Logan would have respected that, would have remained silent.

“I swear,” Logan says, fiercely passionate, “I have no intention of hurting your father, or your brothers, or you, in any shape or form. If I should do so, I would be a person who does not deserve you, your father, or your brothers in any shape or form anyways, as family or friends or even acquaintances.” He takes a deep breath, and Janus realizes his eyes are glittering with tears when he lifts his hand to wipe them away. “I did not mean to intrude on your family, and if you fear for your father around me, or dislike me that much, it is not my place to remain here. You will always be Virgil’s priority, as you should be, and I would never keep myself in his life if I made his son that unhappy.”

“Okay,” Janus says, voice small.

There is silence, after that, and much sniffling, and Janus thinks.

He thinks about his brothers, who have taken to the Abbotts so quickly. He thinks about Patton who, in the end, isn’t such a bad kid. He thinks about his dad, who seems so happy around Logan, who had asked them to keep an open mind that afternoon, who would be so sad if he had to break up with Logan, even for Janus’ sake, though he’d never say it.

He thinks about Logan, who seems so sincere, and who isn’t really anything like She-Who-Will-Not-Be-Named, or any of the others who had made his dad cry, who Janus thinks he could like one day, who could maybe be his dad too.

“I guess you can stay,” Janus says, watching the TV carefully, and in the reflection, he can just barely see Logan relax. “For now.”

“Thank you, Janus,” he says.

“If you hurt my dad, though, I’ll kill you myself,” Janus tells him, and means it.

“I’d deserve it,” Logan answers simply, and for that, more than anything else, Janus starts to like Logan. He doesn’t laugh at the threat, or threaten him back, or even ignore it.

He takes it seriously. He considers it. And he finds it justified.

Yes, Janus thinks. With enough time, and maybe a little candy-related bribery (it is Halloween, after all) he could like Logan Abbott.

—

“I had a lovely time tonight,” Logan says. Patton is in the car, strapped into his carseat with the driver’s door open just in case, still sleeping away, and Virgil has long since put Janus to bed, too.

It is late. The moon is full overhead, a watchful eye on a quiet world, and it shines down on Logan and Virgil, who linger still in the doorway.

“I’m glad,” Virgil smiles, though the expression falters quickly. He reaches up to Logan’s cheek, finger brushing at a stray tear track. “Have you been crying?”

“Janus and I had a bit of a heart-to-heart,” he explains, intertwining his own fingers with those of Virgil’s free hand.

“The boys seemed to like you,” Virgil says, and though he looks no less concerned, he smiles anyways.

“I liked them too,” Logan laughs, a shy, soft thing. “And Patton adores you, of course. I knew he would.”

“I’d say I’m amazed they warmed up to you so quickly, but I’m not,” his boyfriend tells him, and grins, truly grins, mischievous and light and so full of love that it makes Logan feel dizzy. “You’re so wonderful, I’m surprised it took even that long.”

“Flirt,” Logan accuses, but he steps closer anyways. The night is chilly, but he hardly notices next to Virgil Carroll, who seems to exist to provide warmth and light to the universe. “They were very protective of you.”

“Perhaps they have reason to be,” Virgil says thoughtfully, smile widening. “What with you around, standing on my doorstep in the dead of night, not kissing your boyfriend goodbye. That ought to be a crime, I think. Look at me, associating with criminals. You’ve turned me bad already!”

Logan rolls his eyes but leans down to kiss Virgil anyways, a chaste, sweet thing that still manages to take his breath away. “You are incorrigible.”

“You love me and you know it,” Virgil tells him.

“I do,” Logan agrees. “Very much.”

They hug goodbye, and steal one or three or eight more goodbye kisses, and before he knows it Logan is driving away, off into the quiet of the moonlight.

There is something magical about Halloween, he has always thought. A magic of change, and of tricks, and of trust, too.

Virgil’s sons like me. A change.

They attempted to drive me away, but Virgil had warned me ahead of time that might be the case, so I did, admittedly, have the upper hand. A trick.

Janus, as of now, will let me stay. A trust, the trust of a boy who will do anything to protect his father.

Above all else, Logan decides, he will not betray that.

—

There are other Halloweens, of course, and there are other holidays, too. There are presents, and laughter, and the occasional argument, but one that is always resolved by the next day, and Janus receives that candy bribe, as well.

There are still omelet nights. There might always be. But now, instead of calling Uncle Remy, Virgil starts to call Logan, on these nights, seeking comfort when work goes badly or one of his sons is hurt or in the midst of just a truly bad day. And eventually, there will be no need for calls at all, for Logan is there to make toast and offer cuddles and tuck the boys in bed on those rough days, and, after he is supposed to be asleep, Janus will see his dad and a man who is almost, maybe, very close to being his father too, curled up together, offering support and comfort and love.

Logan has his bad days, too. And so do Janus, and Roman, and Remus, and Patton. But none of them have to face them alone.

One day, many Halloweens later, Janus will call Logan ‘Papa’ for the first time, sleepily, halfway through Hocus Pocus, and they will both cry, just a little bit.

251 notes · View notes

emmarzhere · 3 years

Text

3am AU time: Sanders Sides Swap!!

Once again I can’t sleep due to my brain insisting it’s much more important to write down these ideas for a Light and Dark side swap AU than sleep, so 3AM TUMBLR RAMBLE IT IS BABYYYY!!!

So I wanted to try using traits already existing in each character to make their inverses, rather than just swapping traits or completely changing the character’s core values, and these are my initial late night ideas:

(Note: I saved this as a draft and revisited it in the morning / afternoon to make sure it all actually made sense and to add to it with a fresh mind)

(Extra note: I accidentally lost all my additions and the entirety of Patton’s and Virgil’s descriptions by refreshing the page, so it’ll now be written out again in a less formatted way. DAMN YOU TUMBLRRRR!!!!!!)

Roman:

My initial reaction was to make Roman “Pride”, and extend on his egocentric nature (like what is done with many Dark!Roman interpretations), however five minutes of laying in bed thinking about it later I found a trait I felt fit him better: Delusion.

This Roman could still be very much “Netflix kids and family”, living and trying to make Thomas live in a fantasy land where everything is always fine and dandy. This insistence of only seeing things through his figurative or not so figurative rose tinted glasses makes this Roman very naive and hard to get through to, and while on the surface appears very appealing to Thomas (when they first meet Thomas doesn’t understand why Roman counts as a dark side) can be very dangerous if Thomas leans too much into his ways of escaping reality, aka making Thomas a delusional person. The best part of this choice of trait for Roman is that I can still tie in his ego; delusions can be fuel people’s egos, and also to protect them from harsh realities, hence why Delusional works as a role for Roman.

While normally I see Dark Side Roman designed to be an evil prince or king, I decided to go for a more glamorous look which I think fitted my version more: Roman would wear a pristine black and red suit consisting of a red waistcoat, tie and trousers, a black button up shirt and black or red heeled boots. I also wanted his design to link to the white peacock (a rare type caused by a genetic mutation), so I topped off the outfit with either a vintage white shawl or a Cruella style coat (leaning towards Cruella because we know Roman and Disney!) with white peacock feathers attached (still trying to decide if I want Roman to have decorated the feathers with red and black accents or not), and a pair of literal rose tinted glasses to hide his white peacock eyes - pale blue with a glassy look to them which always gives the impression that he is far away, even when he’s not.

Finally his sword is replaced with a grandiose black walking stick with silver details, along with the handle being a silver peacock head (note: possibly detachable from the cane to reveal a silver knife?). I chose this as weapons like these in fiction are often used to appear innocent, only to reveal a hidden depth of skill and character; a description which I think applies well to Delusional Roman.

Extra note: Delusional Roman gets snappy, angry, or even threatening when people try to break him out of or correct him on his delusional ways, though he will often try to slip deeper into his fantasies than actually deal with emotional confrontations.

Extra extra note: Roman is incredibly jealous of his brother as he can’t understand why he’s been accepted despite Roman being the one who creates such wonderfully perfect worlds for Thomas to escape off into! He’s also jealous of how his brother doesn’t care what others think of his work and doesn’t seek validation from the others, not that Roman would ever admit that he does either of those things.

Patton:

So the 3 main aspects of Patton I felt would work best for a Dark Side are his destructive selflessness, his overly strong morale compass and how he encompasses many of Thomas’ more negative feelings.

I couldn’t decide whether to officially label him as “Denial” or “Repression”, but either way he holds a similar role: he represses his / Thomas’ negative feelings, as well as tries to push Thomas to do the morally right thing (as he still represents Morality, just not as his main trait) which almost always is the selfless option. It’s almost impossible to convince this Patton that his viewpoint is not necessarily the correct choice (he’s in denial that he as Morality can ever be in the wrong), and he becomes hostile when his views are continuously challenged.

The light sides see Patton as the main holder and cause of Thomas’ negative feelings (eg. makes Thomas act selfless and do things for others until he’s burnt out and depressed), and when Thomas is feeling these negative feelings Patton experiences them but more strongly to the point where the others have to force him out of bed (usually Logan) and take care of him until he and Thomas get out of the depressive slump. However once he’s out he will deny that he was the problem and begin pushing Thomas down the self-destructive path again.

While this Patton will deny his depression and many negative feelings, he is still not as upbeat as Happy-Pappy-Pal-Canon-Patton, matching more with how the side acts in more serious moments such as at the end of SvS redux. He will smile and comfort others, but laughter and puns are rarely seen.

Another thing about this dark side Patton is that he is very manipulative (a trait shifted from Janus to Patton), even if he doesn’t believe himself to be. He uses his role as “morale compass” to invalidate other’s opinions if they clash with his, and often emotionally hurts the sides he gets close to by caring for them and performing selfless acts for them to show his love (eg. makes breakfast for the other Darks sides every morning, goes out of his way to learn more about their interests so that they can have someone to talk to them about) followed by him simplifying complex morale dilemmas in a way that makes it appear that his option is the only correct one, making the others feel bad about their differing viewpoints (a bit like how Roman felt invalidated and morally wrong throughout SvSR as his views didn’t line up with Patton’s).

This Patton wears a worn out pale blue shirt with a fraying black jumper over the top, leaving only the collar of the shirt visible. He has frog features too; with blots of green skin scattered all over his body, slightly webbed hands and he croaks! The splodges grow larger the more emotion Patton represses. He also really doesnt like his frog features as they don’t align with the perfect image of himself that Patton has in his head, so he tries to cover them up as much as possible with his black jumper, pale blue gloves (leather ones as he tried woollen ones and his frog skin made them go sticky) and baggy trousers, although there isn’t much he can do to hide the blots on his face or his brown frog eyes....

(He’s also constantly worn out as frog-pops has no clue what self-care even means)

Extra note: Patton goes through a sort of alternate character development to canon Patton, where as he begins to be accepted by some of the Light Sides and Thomas they discuss how he doesn’t just represent Thomas’ negative feelings, but all of his feelings; a lot of them are just also accidentally repressed alongside the “bad” feelings. As time goes on Patton becomes more cheerful and goofy, even dropping the occasional dad joke, although never quite to the levels of canon Patton.

Extra extra note: The happier this Patton is, the less faded the blues on his clothes become (much like Virgil’s eyeshadow), until at moments of peak happiness his gloves and shirt are canon Patton blue (eg. when Thomas is with Nico, or when Janus and Thomas first accepted him). Cute blue embroidered designs also form on his black jumper at peak happiness, such as butterflies, simple cats, pawprints and frogs.

Logan:

So Logan is the only side I have decided to leave with the same official trait title: Logic, although he also has the orange trait Anger within him. He will also be taking the place of Virgil as the Dark Side who is prematurely accepted.

However Logan here is still different from canon Logan: he represses and denies his emotions even more than canon due to the other dark sides attitudes towards him (Delusional Roman in particular does not appreciate the truth bombs and logical reasoning the calculator watch drops), leading to more angry outbursts / orange showing through. This makes Logan a horribly unstable side, with him appearing completely apathetic to any sort of feeling for an undetermined period of time until he next reaches his limit and has an explosion of rage - he holds both Logic and Anger/Orange in him here, but the anger shows through a lot more due to his circumstances.

His clothes are always shredded and falling apart due to him tearing them when he’s angry + the rage can come out like an explosion that wrecks everything in his surrounding area, including the clothes on him. He sticks to plain black t shirts and trousers to start with as he claims he doesn’t see the point in putting effort into an outfit as he has no desire to please others.

However when Thomas starts making videos Logan can’t help but show up from time to time. He is unsure why as he could not care less what Thomas or the idiotic “Light Sides” think of him, though he figures while he’s there he might as well educate the buffoons so they can reach more informed, educated conclusions to their constant dilemmas.

At first the Lights don’t take his presence well, and more times than one he’d leave towards the end of an episode to explode in the privacy of his room. But surprisingly they eventually start listening to him, considering his inputs, and Logan leaves filming shoots satisfied, even popping into the Light Side’s area occasionally outside of filming days to talk to them.

However Logan notices a pattern as time goes on: the more he’s around the Light Sides, the less he goes Orange. He tests it by spending a week only hanging with the Lights and finds that his anger barely built up at all. Logan quickly reaches the conclusion that his orange trait isn’t actually uncontrollable, it’s how the others treated him that made it so hard to act civil. That is what leads to Logan hating the Dark Sides (much like canon Virgil does) and finally joining the lights.

Soon after being accepted Logan has an outfit change, where he goes from his burnt, tattered rags to his canon outfit, as he finally feels stable and appreciated enough to trust himself in not ruining a nice new Logic outfit. From then on his journey is about accepting that he has feelings and learning that they’re valid.

Extra note: Logan’s worst fear is the idea of going Orange in front of Thomas or the Light Sides - he finally has people who listen to him and if they see his orange side it might scare them off or they’ll lose any respect for him they had. Worst of all they could get hurt…

Extra extra note: Neither Thomas or any of the Light Sides apart from Janus are aware that Logan holds the Orange trait, believing that he only ever was Logic, just more apathetic to start with (and they actually all buy his reasoning of his old outfit being trashed due to him not caring enough about appearances to fix it, to Janus’s dismay but not disbelief - a bunch of himbos, the lot of them!).

Virgil:

Virgil still represents the “Fight or Flight” response in this AU, just without the excess Anxiety. His official title would be “Instinct”, and he would be more confident than canon Virgil. The decrease in anxiety would also make him better at making rational decisions, though he would still freak out and make not-so-great choices in stressful situations.

Rather than a spider, I decided to link this Virgil more strongly with a cat, with heightened senses, lightning reflexes and eyes that reflect light much like a cats. These additions also match with his change of aesthetic from patchwork emo to fantasy vigilante mixed with bright purple punk, plus the addition of purple eyeshadow applied actually correctly. I made this choice as both canon and this Virgil see themselves as a protector of Thomas, yet Virgil is still slightly more morally grey than the other 2 Light Sides (sort of like canon Logan) hence a darker design. Plus is it really Virgil at all if he doesn’t spend his free time listening to MCR?

Virgil also takes the role of canon Roman when it comes to Patton being accepted: he initially falls strongly for Patton’s caring qualities, with the Dark side helping sooth his anxious moments and suggesting that Thomas make other non-selfish options that don’t make Virgil feel as anxious as some of Janus’ options. So for Patton’s first few conflicts Virgil sticks up for him, claiming he’s not all bad. Then he witnesses how Patton’s selfless choices affect Thomas and realises he’s been manipulated; there was no reason to go all the way with Patton’s choice and hurt Thomas, yet Patton had convinced him that it was either his way or the wrong way, no compromises available.

So by the time Patton reveals his name Virgil really dislikes him and makes a snarky remark in which Patton replies with a jab at how he didn’t realise being Thomas’ protector meant that you could be as evil as you wanted with none of the consequences. Virgil’s equivalent line to Roman’s hero one could be something like “Don’t you trust me?” or “I thought I was your best friend?” - then again Roman’s hero line does work with this version of Virgil.

Janus:

This was one of the easiest traits to decide: with a lot of his more manipulative and deceitful traits being distributed between Patton and Roman, Janus is officially titled “Self-Preservation”, and while he doesn’t claim the father role like Patton does, he is still very much seen as a parental figure and guiding light for Thomas and the lights. He tries to be warm and welcoming to the Light sides (part of his role is to take care of Thomas, hence taking care of the parts that make Thomas), and they naturally gather around him as he gives off a safe aura.

However he is not quite as kind to the Darks - he still has the role of managing what truths Thomas can handle, so he controls which sides stay hidden from him. The darks being revealed tends to be down to him slipping up or the side finding a way around his defences more than by him deciding Thomas is ready to meet them, and each time it happens he beats himself up over it and tries to work harder to not let it happen again. The problem he doesn’t realise is that the slip ups tend to happen in the first place due to him overworking himself to make the others / Thomas happy - he doesn’t quite perform the self-care he preaches about.

I’m still not quite sure where I want to go with Janus’ outfit: the initial thought was to put him in a more Patton inspired attire, however this is still Janus, and he is still a theatrical boi. I ended up settling for a mainly cottage-core aesthetic with a flowy long sleeve yellow shirt made out of a light fabric, brown trousers and an overly large sunhat. He also drapes himself in bright patterned shawls and wraps (still predominantly yellow in colour) as while he doesn’t look as snake-like as he canonically does he still has certain snake traits, such as a weakness to the cold and a yellow tint to his left eye.

However snake features do begin to form later on into the AU as Thomas’ views on Lights and Darks alter over time: he begins to realise that despite how it appears Janus is not always in the right, such as how if it hadn’t been for mistakes Thomas would never have met the Darks and learnt to grow as a person - in fact if Self-Preservation got the say in everything he would likely do little growing whatsoever. He and in turn the other Lights begin to find Janus too stifling until SvSR happens where under the stress Janus becomes a true snake boi. The scales and proper snake eye don’t fade afterwards due to Thomas’ subconscious change in perspective, and while it is a big new insecurity at first over time Janus learns to accept these new changes to himself and the Mindscape, and begins adding a touch of darker mystical aesthetic to his look (slightly fantasy fortune teller based) to match his new look better - although cottage-core remains his go to!!

Extra note: In this AU Janus is definitely the side that would most likely be seen going around the Mindscape in a dress (Roman would also wear dresses on occasion but mainly only within his daydreams in the Imagination); he is all about taking care of yourself, and that includes wearing what makes you happy! Though I’m still kind of tempted to put him in a dress full time...

Extra extra note: while Janus is very much the “adult figure” in the Light Mindscape, he still has his goofy moments like in canon - in general he is more relaxed and jokey with the others...though he’s still a sarcastic shet.

(I struggled finding images that matched at all with the ideas in my head, so take these as very vague links to the actual design)

Remus:

Oh boy, Remus is a fun one...

So now that Roman is the twin known by a different title (like how canon Remus is referred to as “Intrusive Thoughts”), Remus now has claim to the Creativity role!! However Remus isn’t going to do a 180 personality wise - he’s still going to be a chaotic gremlin, just with a light side twist.

His design is purposely all over the place: his aesthetic is mainly pirate based with a long sleeve pirate shirt, loose black trousers and heeled black and silver pirate boots, alongside a dark green pirate jacket and slightly brighter bandana. However he has other seemingly random elements thrown in there, such as a white and green hero cape (fuck what Edna says) coming off the back of the coat, and random colourful potions in the green belt under his coat alongside a knight’s sword. This mismatched look is due to the type of imagination Remus provides: while he still represents and creates intrusive thoughts, he also creates adventure stories and life goals/dreams for Thomas, hence takes a form that has mixed elements from Thomas’ self-inserts and protagonists for said stories. While he personally loves his messy design (do you know how much fun can be had with magic potions, swords, tentacles, and a day in the Imagination? Remus sure does), it does cause some arguments between him and Logan over how illogical him and his ideas are (like canon Roman and Logan).

Roman makes this Remus....uncomfortable. Not necessarily because of his ideas (those are just dull and vomit-worthy in his opinion), but because of how he can’t separate dreams and reality - while Remus loves coming up with Imaginative stories for Thomas and setting slightly outlandish goals for the future, he has a level of awareness that Roman lacks in how he knows Thomas won’t ACTUALLY end up being a morally grey pirate travelling the seas to claim back the magical pendant of octopus powers (unless...). He’s also uneasy with how easily Thomas can fall for Roman’s delusions of grandeur and romance, in fact it opens up quite a major insecurity on how despite being the “good” twin his brother seems to succeed more as the creative role, eg. how Thomas will come up with a dream future career path, husband and even car in a matter of seconds yet Remus has to slave and hone in on decent ideas for weeks to reach his own standard.

This leads to another thing about Remus: while he doesn’t care what others think of his ideas (the trait I mentioned earlier that Roman was jealous of) he hold a high standard to himself and gets extremely happy when he perfects an idea. Besides he still wants his ideas to actually be used by Thomas as them being dismissed for not being good enough does hurt (a bit like how Remus got frustrated in the recent episode with how his “good” intrusive creations were being torn apart by Logan’s methods).

Extra note: The fact that Thomas doesn’t like or appreciate some of his darker ideas / intrusive thoughts doesn’t bother Remus too much as he tends to put less effort into them as he knows they won’t be liked - he just can’t help that they pop into his head and he has to get them out - repression is bad after all! However maybe there can be some episode drama about Remus wanting to be less stifled and have Thomas at least consider some of his more mature themes that he thinks would be good to expand upon.

Extra extra note: Just assuring the fact that Remus not caring what the others think about his work does not correlate with him not caring about the others. He loves his fellow Light Sides and Thomas - he’s just confident in his own craft and while appreciates advice and improvements from the others (he and Logan have a field day on creating biologically accurate gore together) he also is aware that HE is Creativity, and he understands his craft better than the others.

Extra extra EXTRA note: Wasn’t really sure how to put it in there but Remus still represents Thomas’ lust. Do with that what you want.

Thomas:

So all these changes to the sides....of course it has it’s effects on character!Thomas! However I’m getting REALLY tired now so this will be done in bullet points:

Not as Disney-centric as canon/real Thomas.

Has less issues with Anxiety, and more issues dealing with Depression

His morals start off a bit more flexible than canon due to always having we-live-in-a-society Janus as his guide

Still has intrusive thoughts, but not as debilitating with the lower levels of anxiety and the much better relationship with Remus.

Still overworks himself trying to help others (nice one Patton!)

Might have a different career due to Roman being more out the frame - maybe goes into writing instead with Remus’ more diverse form of creativity.

Does explore more diverse creative ideas and darker themes, but still out of habit sometimes puts down possibly good ideas as on surface level they appear too morally wrong.

However could possibly be in a non-creative career, and his major longing for a new career path could be what allows Roman through for the first time.

Less dad jokes but still incredibly goofy with both Remus and Janus being more present.

I think I’m going to wrap up there for now! I may make some art for this at some point, but I also want other’s opinions and ideas for this AU.

If you made it this far, thanks for reading!!

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selfdestructivecat · 3 years

Text

@the-local-lunatic13

THAT’S GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME!

Ok so this is gonna be a long list, since my head is only empty when it’s of greatest inconvenience.

Also please read the tags for potential triggers! Lmk if I missed any and I’ll add them right away.

Without further ado, here’s my interpretation of a Sanders Sides Pokemon AU!

* Ok so first of all, the sides are all gym leaders.

* I picture this in the Galar region, but probably with different towns and the like because I don’t remember any of them.

* Basically, just assume that all of the towns are made up, but that Dynamax still is a thing.

* Let’s start with Patton because his story is the least sad.

* His family runs a Fairy Type gym/pokemon nursery.

* Patton is the eldest in a large family, so he eventually became the new gym leader following in his father’s footsteps.

* He has two dads, one who was the gym leader and the other who is a pokemon breeder. They’re both pokemon breeders now and work in a Pokemon Center.

* They are definitely responsible for Patton’s sense of humor.

* Patton and all of his siblings are adopted, but they’re so close that they might as well be related by blood.

* Patton loves taking care of pokemon and would be a pokemon breeder full-time if he could

* But he also loves his family so he continues to run the gym to raise enough money to keep them comfortable and happy

* The Pokemon team I have come up for him is:

* - Togekiss

* - Boltund

* - Greninja (cuz frog)

* - Altaria

* - Frosmoth

* - Hatterine

* (If anyone has any better ideas for pokemon for any of the sides, feel free to throw your suggestions in the notes!)

* Moving on to Logan...

* Like Patton, he also inherited his gym, a Psychic Type gym, from his parents

* However, his family life isn’t nearly as happy...

* Ever since he was old enough to throw a pokeball, his parents have trained him rigorously to become the next gym leader

* They handpicked all of the pokemon in his team

* Except for a Lucario, which Logan caught as a Riolu when he was very young. His parents only let him keep it because of its battle prowess

* So Logan’s team is:

* - Lucario

* - Gardevoir

* - Alakazam

* - Raichu (alolan)

* - Malamar

* - Onix

* (Also this should be obvious by now but not all the pokes will match the gym’s type cuz that’s boring)

* Logan took over the gym when he was 15 and has been running it basically on his own ever since

* His parents still get the final say in all major decisions, even though they don’t really do anything

* Logan resents them, but doesn’t have the courage to stand up for himself

* ENTER PATTON

* Logan is at first pretty skeptical regarding Patton, since he doesn’t seem to take his job seriously

* After challenging Patton to a battle, however, that stance changes remarkably fast after facing a narrow defeat at the hands of Patton’s pokemon

* Even so, he tells himself that he doesn’t have time to become more than colleagues. He must be cordial with Patton so they can coordinate as gym leaders, but that’s it

* Meanwhile, Patton takes one look at this emotionally-repressed man and thinks to himself

* “Oh, this is the guy I’m gonna marry.”

* He then takes literally every opportunity to flirt with Logan

* And he is not subtle AT ALL

* Like he literally goes up to Logan one day and is like

* “I know you’re not ready for it right now, but one day I’m gonna marry you and there’s nothing you can do about it.”

* And Logan is VERY confused and VERY flustered because feelings? What is happening to my heart!? Am I getting sick!?

* (And his parents would absolutely disapprove because they are huge homophobes and want Logan to have an heir to pass on the gym to)

* But eventually Patton manages to break Logan’s walls down and they become close friends

* (And eventually more)

* Now, the twins!

* Their situation is pretty similar to Logan’s, at least to a certain point

* Their parents own a Fire Type gym, and were so excited to have a child who would eventually take over the gym

* Two things happened that they did not anticipate

1) They ended up having twins

2) The mother died during childbirth

* Driven by grief, stubbornness, and resentment, the father had the idea that, in order to make the twins as strong as possible, he would put them against each other at every opportunity

* They would constantly be competing to become better than the other, creating an extremely toxic rivalry

* It didn’t work... at least, not at first.

* When they were very young, Roman and Remus were inseparable.

* Even when their father tried to put them against each other, they would rebel against him and not listen

* (Remus had no issue with this, but Roman quietly longed for his father’s approval, even though he knew it was wrong)

* They had a dream that they would run the gym together, and they would talk long into the night about the gym they would create and the pokemon they would train

* That was, until their father started to take a different approach

* He noticed that, despite the two boys receiving the same education and training, Roman had a better affinity for battle (at least when it came to fire types)

* So he started giving Roman more praise and attention

* Roman was thrilled to finally make his father proud

* Remus, on the other hand, was tossed to the side

* Roman was reluctant to give up his father’s attention now that he had received it

* (Looking back, Roman wishes more than anything that he had given it up)

* The twins were driven apart, Roman being trained to take over the gym, and Remus being completely ignored

* One day, Remus ran away, disappearing in the middle of the night.

* Roman was devastated

* He wanted nothing more than to search for Remus, but he knew that if his brother didn’t want to be found, he could vanish off the face of the earth

* Years pass, and Roman takes over the gym

* His father passes away from illness when he was 16

* He can’t find it in himself to grieve

* Roman continues running the gym, hating how quiet the halls are and missing his brother terribly

* One day, he receives news of a new Poison Type gym being established, one heavily criticized for its unorthodox (and, some complain, absolutely disgusting) gym structure and puzzles

* For the first time in years, Roman smiles

* Their relationship is not nearly as close as it was when they were children, and they still have a lot of that competitiveness that was hammered into them, but they’re trying

* And of course, their pokemon teams!

* Roman’s team is:

* - Charizard

* - Wigglytuff

* - Aegislash

* - Milotic

* - Gallade

* - Butterfree

(Maybe he should have more fire types but I like all of these Pokémon for him and they don’t really have a common type among them and ahhhhhhhh...)

* While Remus’s team is:

* - Garbodor

* - Muk

* - Tentacruel

* - Gengar

* - Mawile

* - Venomoth

* While catching up on everything that happened while they were separated, Roman asks Remus how he managed to establish his own gym so quickly

* Remus smirks, saying that he had a little help from a certain dragon...

* WHICH IS JANUS! HE HAS A DRAGON TYPE GYM!

* And this is where we get into that sweet sweet angst

* Janus was born in a small village surrounded by mountains

* A few months before his birth, a disease spread throughout the village

* This disease would coat the skin in angry red boils and drive the infected delirious with sickness

* One day, Janus’ parents found him shivering with a fever, the left side of his face covered in boils

* Fearing for their lives should they catch the disease, they brought the child into the mountains and abandoned him in an old, dark cave

* He wailed in pain and terror until his throat was so hoarse he couldn’t cry anymore

* Dialga, the legendary dragon-type pokemon with power over time, heard his cries and took pity on the child

* Dialga reversed the effects of the illness, curing the child but leaving shimmering scales where the boils used to be

* Dialga then tasked the dragon type pokemon in the cave to look after the child, not trusting humans to ensure Janus’ well being

* A family of Dreepies, Drakloaks, and Dragapults takes a particular liking to Janus, raising him as one of their own

* Eventually, when Janus is a bit older, he goes to visit the town he was born in (supervised by his dragon family, of course)

* Only to find that the village was gone, abandoned by the few survivors of the horrible plague that spread throughout

* Janus felt no remorse

* He knew that he could only rely on himself, and that if he wanted to survive in this world, he needed to be aggressive

* The following week, he said goodbye to his family, only taking with him his best friend, one of the Dreepies in his family that was now a powerful Dragapault

* It wasn’t easy, as he had to learn the language and social etiquette of the people around him (being raised by pokemon would do that to you)

* He even had to resort to stealing in order to survive, which kept him on the run

* Until one day, he met Remus, another kid on the run

* Together, they were an absolute menace. To this day, the two of them have never lost a double battle

* Eventually, they both opened their own gyms, Remus a poison type and Janus a dragon type

* When not busy with the typical duties required of gym leaders, they’re basically inseparable

* Remus is the one person Janus trusts whole-heartedly

* I headcanon them as either really close friends or queer-platonic partners, but I’ll leave it up to you to decide their relationship!

* By the way, Janus’ team consists of:

* - Dragapult

* - Mimikyu

* - Zoroark

* - Arbok

* - Salazzle

* - Kimmo-oh

* So that leaves one side left...

* Ima be honest, I based Virgil heavily on Piers, but bear with me ok?

* Virgil grew up in a very poor town with his mother, as his dad abandoned them when he was very young

* And when I say poor, I mean that there wasn’t even a Pokemon Center

* Even so, he didn’t wish for anything. He didn’t care about traveling or becoming a great pokemon trainer. He just wanted to be with his mom

* (His anxiety made it hard to leave the house, anyway, so he was in no rush to go on some grand adventure)

* His mom had a dream to open a pokemon gym that both 1) incorporated music and 2) was more down to earth than the grand stadiums that were now the norm for gyms

* When she was pregnant with Virgil, she was more than happy to give up that dream for her family

* However, when her husband, their main source of income, abandoned them, her dream became more of a necessity

* The entire town was on her side, knowing that a gym could bring money to their town

* Their “gym” was nothing more than a small, outdoor stadium, but his mother loved it

* The few curious pokemon trainers who decided to challenge the unofficial gym absolutely loved her, and slowly she started to gain a bit of notoriety

* Virgil was terrified. He was afraid that his mom would get hurt by the powerful pokemon that constantly challenged her

* (And he missed her terribly. She still made time for him, but it wasn’t as much as before she took on the role of unofficial gym leader)

* And so, his mom brought him his very first pokemon: an Eevee that always seemed to know exactly how to calm him down

* He loved his Eevee, and he felt a little bit less alone whenever his mom had to leave for work. He was ok.

* Unfortunately, fate had cruel plans for the young boy

* His town was cast into shadow as a maddened Dynamaxed pokemon appeared a few miles away

* His mom, the strongest trainer in town, left to take it down, despite how much Virgil begged her to not go, or to take him with her

* (She had to go. The second-closest city to the dynamaxed pokemon was still very far away. Help wouldn’t come for a while. She was all her small town had.)

* (...She didn’t return)

* The entire town was in mourning, holding a huge ceremony to honor her memory.

* Virgil was inconsolable, barely speaking and refusing to leave his room for almost an entire year

* If it wasn’t for the people in the town, who cared for him as deeply as they did his mother, he probably wouldn’t have eaten.

* The unofficial gym, without a gym leader, was abandoned, and its small glimpse of fame was lost, plunging the town back into a seemingly inescapable pit of poverty and obscurity

* Until one day, a group of thugs came and terrorized the town, letting loose their pokemon and stealing everything they could get their hands on

* Virgil was terrified, but he couldn’t just stand there while people got hurt. With only his Eevee and his only experience being watching his mom in her matches, he challenged the thugs

* He didn’t stand a chance. His poor Eevee was at its knees within moments

* Virgil was distraught, hating his weakness and how he couldn’t protect the town that had become his family. He tried to fight the thugs himself, only to be knocked back by one of their Pokémon’s attacks.

* He got back up and charged again, tears in his eyes and bile rising from how scared he was

* His Eevee, terrified for its master and inspired by his bravery, began to glow...

* ...and in its place stood an Umbreon, body pulsing with newfound power

* This scene rallied the other people in the town, who banded together to drive the thugs away, Virgil and his Umbreon leading the charge

* From then on, Virgil vowed that he would become a strong Dark Type gym leader and create the gym his mother never got the chance to

* He trained hard, swallowing his fear to capture and train more pokemon for his team

* Which consists of...

* - Umbreon

* - Houndoom

* - Galvantula

* - Gothitelle

* - Corviknight

* - Noivern

* The townspeople, much like Team Yell in Pokemon Sw/Sh, would often go to other cities singing Virgil’s praise and unwittingly causing all sorts of problems

* Virgil has no idea that any of this is happening

* Eventually, word gets out again regarding this unofficial Pokemon gym, attracting the attention of the other gym leaders

* Roman is sent to investigate

* He doesn’t expect much, given the general appearance of the town (it doesn’t even have a pokemon center, after all)

* He’s even more put off when he recognizes the outfits of the trainers in the “gym” as the strange people who have been causing trouble all over Galar

* Even so, he has a job to do, so he dons a disguise and plows through all of the trainers, eager to finish the gym so he can go back home

* His desire to leave vanishes faster than a Pikachu with Agility the moment he lays eyes on Virgil

* Just like his mother wanted, Virgil’s battles take place during a rock concert, so Virgil waiting on a makeshift stage with a guitar in hand

* (Virgil feels like he’s going to explode with nerves, just like he does every time a trainer challenges his gym, but the memory of his mother gives him courage)

* As his Umbreon leaps into battle, he begins to sing

* And holy shit Roman is in love

* The small area is filled with spectators cheering and singing along to the song, and despite it being a far cry from any grand stadium Roman has ever battled in, it has more spirit than anything Roman has ever experienced

* It’s the most fun he’s had battling in years

* Virgil is a tough opponent, a testament to his years of pushing himself, but in the end Roman has more experience

* Virgil is devastated at the loss, knowing it would be a blow against the gym’s reputation, but manages to put on a smile and offers Roman a pin: their unofficial gym badge

* Roman smiles, removing his disguise to pin the badge to his clothes and Virgil is like “holy shit that’s Roman the famous fire-type gym leader oh no he’s really hot oh no what have I done I GAVE HIM A HANDMADE PIECE OF SCRAP METAL OH NO”

* And Roman, ignorant to Virgil’s crisis, is like “cmon, we gotta get the paperwork done to establish this place as an official gym!”

* When later asked, Virgil would firmly deny it, but at that moment he had literally burst into tears

* Roman still wears the badge Virgil presented to him to this day, even though Virgil has repeatedly offered him one of the higher-quality badges they now give out as an official gym

* Virgil’s gym is the only one that doesn’t have Dynamax, since he still has some trauma from his mother’s death

* Prinxiety eventually happens because I say so

* And all of the gym leaders are friends also because I say so

I might add more to this AU if people are interested! And feel free to add your own ideas! I’d love to hear what you think!

Sorry for rambling, but if you managed to get this far, thanks for reading! :D

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lovelivingmydreams · 3 years

Text

A story by heroes and vilains

Book 2: secrets revealed

Roman Castile: partners in crime fighting

Book 1 masterlist

Book 2 masterlist

Roman needs some time to get used to this new situation. Processing will have to wait though. There is work to be done.

It luckily wasn’t too long until a car pulled up in the driveway. Roman hurried home, not even thinking about being spotted until he was only a few blocks away. When he got there he hugged his parents in greeting. They’d put a plate aside for him as they hadn’t known he would be returning so soon. He quickly ate his meal and excused himself to his room. Virgil hadn’t contacted him yet and Roman needed to know that he was okay. So he called. Only when Virgil’s voice came through did he manage to breathe easy again. “Hey Princey.” That being said, Roman was not fond of the hollowness in Virgil’s usual teasing greeting. “I’m exceptionally glad to hear from you Rayo Marvellioso. Is everything alright?” he asked. “I’m fine,” Virgil reassured him, the tension leaving his voice. “Sorry, I forgot to call…” “That is quite alright Virgil. I was just… It felt like you were dealing with something and I wasn’t sure if you needed me to push or give you space… I’m sorry. But am I right to understand you are safely at home now?” he asked, not wanting to overwhelm Virgil with the guilt he felt for something he wasn’t supposed to know about. “Yeah, I got home okay,” the edgy artist confirmed. Roman could feel him trying not to straight up lie to him and he appreciated it. Though he didn’t feel like he deserved it. “Listen I’m dead tired, is it okay if we talk tomorrow or something?” Virgil asked. “Of course! Remus will be arriving Sunday, so my parents are of course fixing up some last minute details for his room. If I don’t pick up I am merely busy and will call you back as soon as I can,” he promised. “Okay, thanks. Talk to you later Ro,” Virgil bid before hanging up. Roman let himself fall into his bed and tried to process everything again. Virgil was Phantom this entire time. It made a ridiculous amount of sense. It explained why Roman trusted him implicitly the moment he met him. On some level he must’ve recognized Virgil’s energy in Phantom’s even if it was obscured. Phantom’s absence right after the accident, Virgil’s habit of just, appearing next to him… It would also explain why Virgil’s wariness persisted even after a long period of relative peace. He knew he had reasons to be warry of his surroundings since Serpentine was connected to the Collector. How long did he have his gift for? Thinking back… Was it the reason why Roman never found him on the playground in middle school? That would mean… That would mean Virgil had chosen to confront bullies even though he had nothing to fear of them if he didn’t want to. Phantom had told him a lot about his power set, the different ways he could use his cloak and they’d tested out his shield. All of that could’ve made him more than bully proof. But instead he’d chosen to become a bully lightning rod. He could barely wait to talk to him again and learn all about this new part of his crush and partner. And he didn’t have to. When he neared Virgil’s neighborhood during his reconnaissance round the next day, he immediately saw Virgil’s energy flare like a beacon. He hurried towards the source and found Phantom standing on a roof not two blocks away from his house. He hadn’t expected him out today. He had explicitly told him to take a break. … But come to think of it, this was Virgil. He’d take a break if he felt like it. Evidently, he didn’t feel like it. And that worried Roman. Virgil had proven that he was capable of taking personal time when he needed it. After a night like last night, he needed it. That he was here at all must mean something serious was going on. “Phantom? What is wrong?” he asked as he landed. Phantom was wearing his coat and dark clothing, his eyes were purple, but his cloak and facemask were down. “The first time we met, in person, how did you know where I was?” the dark hero asked urgently. Roman was taken aback for a moment. How to explain… Oh… Well… “It’s probably easier if I show you? But you can’t freak out about it ok? I’m gonna need you to trust me,” he said. Phantom nodded. “I have to trust you now, so might as well go all in,” he quipped nervously. Roman chuckled and stepped forward. “Okay… First I want you to know that you are more than just a fellow hero to me. You’re my friend, and I’d never want to do anything that makes you uncomfortable. So you can tell me when I am crossing a line,” he told him. Phantom hesitated for a moment and then nodded. “Okay…” “I am going to pass something on to you, but the only way I know how for now is by getting close. Is that okay for you?” After yesterday he might not be okay with being close to other people right away. “… Yes… Sure,” Phantom nodded. Roman felt rather guilty over this situation. Virgil didn’t know that Prince had feelings for him. Would he still be okay with it if he knew that he’d been thinking about being close to him for years? Still, if he wanted to help Virgil become stronger, he’d have to share his sight at some point. Might as well be now. “Okay, close your eyes for a second,” he instructed. Phantom took a deep breath, and did as was asked of him. Roman stepped forward and placed a soft kiss to Phantom’s cheek. Something light, brief, but he’d lie if he claimed it didn’t make his heart leap. He stepped back. “Open them, and don’t worry. It’s fine,” he assured him. Phantom opened his eyes and then took a step back, his face a picture of awe. Roman grinned, a little flattered by the reaction. Phantom was speechless, he looked Roman over and then looked at himself. “So… This is how you found me…” “I think you were nervous and amping up your cloak, but to me that was a fuzzy beacon. Like following feedback on a walkie talkie to find the source of the interference,” he explained. Virgil nodded. “I see… This is pretty cool,” he said with an incredulous laugh. “Well, yeah. I haven’t told the team yet. It’s tough to explain without demonstration and I rather get to the point where I can do it with a touch of my hand. But I figured it might help with your training if you could see what you are doing… Like check this out,” Roman made a platform for himself and had it take him up a foot and circle around Phantom once before putting him down. “Less scary when you can see it right?” he grinned. Phantom nodded. “Yeah. But classes will have to wait… I need to talk to your team,” he said decidedly. Roman was surprised. “Really?” “Prince… My cloak was on. Unless that guy was waiting for me at the library and kept an eye on me the entire way until I went into that alley, I shouldn’t have existed as far as he was concerned.” Roman thought about that for a moment. “I see… So it’s official then huh?” he asked sadly. Phantom nodded. “Collector is after my civilian self. For whatever reason.” Roman frowned he’d wondered at that. “Well, he’s not wrong. You have pretty cool gifts. But he shouldn’t know that… Does your dad do anything that might…” “Make me the leverage? I mean he does stuff for the university where the GTH is. So maybe… But wouldn’t he just kidnap me then?” Phantom countered. Roman nodded, he had a point. Why go through all this fanfare when a single instance of Virgil being in danger would probably already be more than enough to get Mr. Anker to give up anything for his safety? So maybe Mr. Anker wasn’t the target. Maybe it really was Virgil… “Well, first things first.” He called into HQ and had them ping his team. Roman was possibly more nervous about this thing than Phantom. His ninja friend had it all planned out. They arrived first, despite Phantom slowing them down quite a bit. His dark ally went to stand the corner to the right of the entrance while Roman paced the floor until the others got here. “You okay Prince?” Phantom asked. Roman was strangely glad that Virgil didn’t use ‘Princey’ for the real Prince in his life. Virgil hadn’t even mentioned Prince to Roman unless prompted and yet he felt like he was in competition with himself all of a sudden. Probably because he felt like he was far more successful in being charming as Prince than as Roman. “It feels… Official. This whole thing has been coming at us, slowly snowballing and hitting us a few times. But… It feels like we are at a turning point? I don’t know, it’s got me on edge though,” he confessed. Before Phantom could reply the door opened. Roman looked up to find Manifestor, Sweets and BS walking in. All slightly alarmed at the emergency meeting. “Ah, there you all are. We’ll start once the chief is here I promise it’s important. It’s about the boy I saved. Virgil. He’s the one Collector seems interested in right?” he asked feeling a little weird talking like he had only a vague idea who Virgil was while he was in the room. It was Sweets who answered. “That’s right sport. You did a great job saving him last night. I’m sure he and his family would like to thank you.” Roman felt a blush creeping up his cheeks. “He did more than enough of that,” he said as he recalled holding Virgil close during their conversation, carrying him home… He’d been so frightened… “I still wish I’d been faster…” He found himself glancing at Phantom who shook his head firmly. Roman assumed it meant “Don’t you dare blame yourself.” “Anyway. Any clue how far out chief is? We have some new information,” he insisted, wanting to get the meeting moving. Just then the doors opened again and Chief walked in. “Now that sounds interesting,” she said as she walked up to Roman’s team. “Lay it on us Prince.” “Well…” Roman spotted Phantom slowly making his way towards the group. “Actually, I’m not the one who wanted to speak to you all,” he told them slowly to give Phantom time to get in position for his big entrance. A second of stunned silence passed before Roman could see understanding wash over the faces. “Phantom has come out to say hi at last?” Chief Davies concluded. “Hi,” Phantom greeted from his spot right behind BS. Both the chief and the redeemed villain jumped in surprise by his sudden appearance. Sweets and Manifestor were too, but they reacted a lot calmer. “So… Mrs. Chief ma’am… At last we meet I guess,” Phantom greeted. He wasn’t using his modifier as he was already going to use his cloak to obscure. It was an interesting experiment he’d come up with. Could he both draw everyone’s attention and make himself hard to recognize. He’d put on his face mask just in case. He didn’t want to give them his identity on a silver platter. “Phantom! Good to meet you, sport!” Sweets greeted, always ready to make a new friend. “Sup… Um… Sweets I guess?” “Aw. Prince has been talking about us?” Sweets sounded happily surprised by that fact for some reason. “Sure thing Dr. candycane. That dude’s Manifestor, and suit and shades over here is BS, BrainStorm I mean,” Phantom listed. “What brings you here today Phantom?” BS interjected, apparently in a hurry to get things going. “You can’t take your eyes off me can you?” And that was Roman’s cue to move. He didn’t need to hide. He just had to be anywhere else than where he stood before. He walked backwards to the wall and took about three steps to the left. That should be enough to test if Phantom’s cloak had the effect it was supposed to have. “Try it. Try looking away….” Phantom was clearly having fun with this. “Can’t do it. Can you? I’ll help. Dr. Sugar needs some attention. Why don’t you all look at him for a bit?” And at once everyone turns their head towards Sweets. Roman finds himself thinking that if Virgil wasn’t such a nice person, his gift could be used in so many bad ways… But the same goes for any gift he supposed. Even an empath can use their powers in a terrible way if they so choose. “Fascinating,” BS muttered. “And here I thought you could make yourself invisible,” Chief piped in. “Not in the slightest… Where is Prince?” Here it goes. Everyone turned around to look where Roman stood a few minutes earlier. “He’s standing…” BS’ voice fell silent as he noticed that there was no hero standing behind him. “Prince!?” Sweets called out. Everyone started looking around, trying to spot him in his very noticeable uniform. BS was much more methodical in his search, scanning the floor bit by bit, looking for Roman’s magnificent boots. “You do realize he could be on the ceiling right teach?” Phantom pointed out, though this was not the case at the moment. “But I do appreciate the effort. None of the others seem to have realized that without intense focus, you can’t look past my cloak. Do try though. I’m curious…” Now everyone was trying to carefully scan the room. Roman could see that BS and chief Davies’ gaze drifted over him several times. They looked so focused and determined… It was kinda funny. His laugh however, gave him away. “You must’ve been the worst at hide and seek Charmless,” Phantom chuckled as he walked up to him. Roman could not suppress a pout. “I can’t help it. Chief and BS were looking right at me and they were so frustrated that they couldn’t find me. It’s kind of funny,” he pointed out as he walked forward to meet Phantom in the middle. “I mean, you are not wrong,” Phantom allowed before getting serious. “Now we know for sure though…” Roman sobered up as well. Right. The reason why they were here. Phantom turned to the team. “Prince told me about Collector and that snake dude…” “Serpentine,” Chief Davies added. “Serpent…” This for some reason seemed to throw Phantom off. Roman made a mental note to ask him about it later. The moment of confusion passed soon. “Right, them. Anyway, he also told me about the thing with the kid. I did research and figured out who the kid was. So… I figured if… Serpentine was often found close to this Virgil person, I just had to keep an eye on him. So I watched him and made sure he made it home okay when he traveled alone. I was cloaking him last night… But that guy, still saw him. The only way he could’ve was if he was watching him leave the library when he came out and watched him every step of the way until he decided to take that short cut. He must’ve been looking for him specifically to come out of that door. You’ve felt how strong my cloak has gotten. If Mr. big brain can’t see through it then some low life tug shouldn’t have been able to do so either. Unless he knew exactly where to look to see him.” Roman spotted the way Virgil was clenching and unclenching his hands. A sign that he was seriously nervous. Not wanting anyone else to pick up on it Roman butted in with what he hoped was some kind of comfort for Virgil. “It’s thanks to Phantom that I found the boy in time. That thing they did where you couldn’t look away from them or Sweets for a bit? They used it on themself and they drew me to the fray. Phantom would likely have jumped in themself if I hadn’t arrived when I did. They were pretty shaken that their cloak failed,” he explained. Phantom subtly averted his gaze and cleared his throat. Roman recognized this. It was how he often responded to praise or complements. He was glad he’d managed to lift his spirits “Anyway. I’m here to… Like become an official member. I wanna be able to call back up, practice my stuff somewhere other than the streets and maybe ask for some upgrades that’ll help me get around unseen… I am not telling you my name though. Not until Collector is put away. I’ve got people to protect. So if that’s a deal breaker then I’ll see myself out.” Roman looked towards BS, hoping he’d accept. A moment of silence passed, and then a nod. “That can be arranged. I imagine your parents would rather have you do this with back up. I have a costume ready for you, you may request adjustments as needed.” Roman tried not to show his excitement. He couldn’t believe BS had been preparing for Phantom to join all this time. He sat back with Virgil’s coat while his partner, once he’d been reassured that it was all safe, tried on his new, very cool, costume and was told some of the basic bells and whistles BS had added to it. “And it’s not even my birthday.” Roman was glad that this introduction had gone so well. “So… When are you guys telling the kid he’s got to watch out for Collector?” Roman frowned. Virgil already knew… Had Phantom decided that he would ask that if the guy in question wasn’t him? It was smart to keep in character. Roman had been calling Virgil Phantom in his head so long as he wore the uniform in order not to slip up. “For the time being. We are not. I read the kid’s statement. He’s a spitfire. Telling him someone is trying to recruit him might put the overall mission at risk. He’d definitely try to play hero.” Chief answered. This surprised Roman. Sure she was right. Powers or none, the way Roman knew Virgil he’d one hundred percent expect him to try and take action. “He has a right to know,” Phantom insisted, sounding upset. Roman couldn’t imagine having to hear a bunch of strangers go over your head on something that so clearly affected your life. “He does,” BS agreed. “But it is more important that Collector gets stopped once and for all. I trust the chief’s assessment.” Yeah, that was about the cold blooded response Roman expected from his mentor. Though he knew him well enough to know that it came from a place of care, even if it didn’t seem like it to the untrained eye. “Can I trust that you respect the decision of the team?” Instead of answering Phantom turned to Roman. “What do you think?” he asked. “Well…” Roman felt a bit awkward right now. He’d basically have to tell Virgil to his face whether or not he would leave him in the dark if he hadn’t been Phantom. “I would want to be told…” he started. Because he wanted Virgil to know that he understood his point. Of course you’d want to be told such things… But at the same time… “But I trust the team. BS is the smartest man in town. If he says that it’s better for everyone involved if this stays under wraps, then I’ll follow his lead.” It’s the best he could give him right now. “Well, I guess I’ll go along with it. Under protest.” Roman hoped he was imagining the mild bite to Phantom’s tone. “See you guys later.” The newly recruited hero turned towards Roman and made a questioning gesture to which Roman promptly gave him back his coat. “I’m coming with, I gotta finish patrol anyway,” he offered as Phantom shrugged on his coat while walking towards the exit. He didn’t want to say goodbye just yet. It was a mix of protectiveness and still getting used to two people he cared about being one person. “Sure.” His friend muttered a little tense. It wasn’t until they were outside the building that Phantom relaxed a little. “Let’s get outa here and talk for a sec before I head home,” he suggested. Roman nodded and held out his hand. “May I?” he asked. Phantom didn’t reply but gave him his hand. Roman laid a kiss to it and looked up curiously. Phantom nodded. “I can see,” he informed him a little nervous. Roman made a platform for both of them with plenty of space. “Hold on for a sec,” he advised. He was able to anticipate lift off, but Virgil wasn’t. He was flattered by the amount of trust his partner showed in him when Phantom stepped up right next to Roman and grabbed hold of his arm, just enough to support himself. Roman brought him to their usual hanging spot since he didn’t want to be seen too close to Virgil’s house twice in one night. Better not risk it. “And this is your stop,” Roman informed him as they landed. “Thanks,” Phantom said as he stepped away from him to give them both space. “It didn’t last as long this time,” the dark guardian mused. “Yeah… all I know is if I’m more vulnerable it lasts longer. Like physically and emotionally,” Roman explained with a shrug. He didn’t know why. Phantom chuckled. “So… every time you kiss your partner they see in extra color for a few hours?” he teased. Roman blushes. He hadn’t thought of that actually. “Well… I only do it when there is some kind of intent behind it. It’s not like I give people my sight every time I bump into them,” Phantom chuckled. “That would give you away pretty easily,” he agreed. “Speaking of… I wasn’t expecting to see you again so soon. I mean I get why… But um… What I wanted to ask… Are you okay? If that had been me I… I don’t even know how I would’ve responded. I don’t think I’d be out the day after for sure,” Roman confessed. Phantom shrugged. “You probably wouldn’t have been caught in the first place,” he muttered. Roman frowned. He almost moved to grab his partner by the shoulders to make him look at him but then remembered that that might be triggering after last night. “I wouldn’t be so sure of that. Getting grabbed that way… I might’ve panicked. And when I panic I shut down completely. No thoughts.” He’d needed to retake a few tests due to this in the past. He hadn’t even remembered his own name. “You might not think I would because you’ve only seen me in situations when I feel prepared. I know what I’m running into when I do hero work. But if I’m walking down the street and something crazy happens… I can’t anticipate.” When the scaffolding came down he should’ve gotten them both out of the way. He had several applications of his gift that could’ve done that. But all he’d been able to think of was shield Virgil with his body first and his gift second. “If I had been there for that car crash… I wouldn’t have thought to push either of you out of the way. I know that much. You are much better at thinking on your feet than I am. Don’t sell yourself short. Okay?” Roman couldn’t see Virgil’s face through Phantom’s mask, but he could swear that something in his eyes betrayed the presence of a smile. “Thanks Prince… That… That means a lot. And also thank you for not ratting me out,” he told him. Roman shrugged. “Hey it’s your choice who gets to know right?... Speaking of which… I guess it’s only fair…” He was so nervous about this, but also excited. He wondered how Virgil would react… “No.” Phantom stated. “Um… Sorry?” Roman asked baffled. “You figured out who I was on your own. You don’t owe me your identity. I can’t spill a secret I don’t know. I don’t want to risk accidently saying your real name. You have reasons to stay anonymous for now I’m sure. So… I don’t wanna know.” Roman was baffled by that. “But what if…” “No. I don’t care if you are my bully, my best friend, my next door neighbor or the love of my life. Even if our civilian identities start dating or something I don’t want to know. The only reason you can tell me is if either of us is in more danger with me not knowing than if I get brought in the loop.” Roman wasn’t a big fan. But he’d respect Phantom’s wishes. He’s had enough information come at him the last 24 hours. “Very well. If you change your mind… I don’t want to keep any secrets from you. Not if I’m able to share them.” Speaking of secrets. “Which reminds me… I’m sorry if you felt like I didn’t have your back with the whole… You know… I swear that if I had reason to think that they are making a mistake… I trust them to have your best interest at heart. BS can seem pretty cold but in my experience he cares a lot. He knows how this whole thing works better than I do, so I want to trust his judgement on this…” “Prince, you are rambling. I get it it’s cool. I trust your judgement too. I’m kinda glad that you didn’t play the rebellious teen card just because you thought that I wanted to hear that. And I’m glad that you tried to empathize with civilian me in front of them. You’ve got a mind of your own, I can see that. And who knows? I might’ve been happier if I’d been completely clueless. They are probably doing the best they can with the information they have... Listen. I better get home before my parents notice I’m missing. See ya later?” Roman nodded. “Yeah. But don’t feel like you have to come out okay? Take it easy. You’ve got a team keeping you safe, I promise.” Phantom sighed. “I don’t need it,” he muttered as he started walking away. Roman tried to think of something to say. Of course Virgil didn’t want to be a burden. That was a stupid thing to say. Before Roman could say anything though Phantom paused and turned back slightly. “I could use a friend though. I can’t talk with anyone else about this… So I’d like to stay friends?” Roman nodded firmly. “Of course! I told you. You are my friend. Knowing your name doesn’t change that. If me being worried about Collector hunting you made you think that, I’m sorry.” Phantom chuckled as he rubbed the back of his neck. “No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have doubted you. And don’t worry… I have an idea of how I can make him loose interest.” That got Roman curious. “Oh? Care to share?” he wondered. Phantom took of his mask, showing his smirk. “By opening the package.” Before Roman could say or ask anything else, Virgil jumped off the edge, making his way down the fire escape from the sound of it. Roman wasn’t going to chase after him to get more information tonight. He had a feeling he’d notice someday soon. Virgil would definitely let Prince into his joke, when he was good and ready.

Hero au

@cirishere @tim-burton-bitch @moonlightshow00 @naturallyunstablegamer @alias290 @meowthefluffy @frida0043 @angelic-cali @selenechris @theblackveilinreverse

#sanders sides #ts sides #roman sanders #virgil sanders #prinxiety #logan sanders #patton sanders #remus sanders #fic #hero au

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cotncandyboifics · 3 years

Text

A Lovely Night: Chapter 5

AO3 Link

Masterpost

Chapter 1 ~ Chapter 2 ~ Chapter 3 ~ Chapter 4 ~ Chapter 6

Pairing(s): pre-established roceit & prinxiety, anaroceit, eventual anaroloceit, eventual intruality

Word count: ~2.5k

Story summary: Roman's boyfriends had had a rivalry since before either of them had actually met Roman. Running a bit late to a date night, Roman accidentally gets them to start dating too.

General CW: non-detailed description of an anxiety attack, non-detailed description of physical pain, food, kissing, potentially triggering descriptions of physical bodies, swearing, caps lock, school settings, s-xual innuendos, slight description of gore(imagery), vague descriptions of anxiety, Implications of an eating disorder, fatigue, dissociation, suppression of stimming, implied heavy restriction (ED), inner monologue-style anxiety description, eating,(will be added to as I write more)

Chapter CW: Swearing, slight description of gore(imagery), vague descriptions of anxiety, food, (let me know if i missed anything please!)

Author notes: i like this chapter a lot :) the stage has been set.

...

The next morning, Virgil had an opening shift at the knitting and sewing supply store he worked for. He'd found it the first week the three of them had moved to this town for college, and immediately took a liking to it, likely thanks to his long-lasting hobby of clothing alteration. He'd made some good money to save up in high school from making and selling custom hoodies and other clothing, even having taken a few commissions over the years.

It wasn't rare occurrence, that he was opening the store, and on this particular morning it wasn't so dreadful (once he'd pried himself away from his half-asleep boyfriends, who both vaguely grumbled protests at the incomplete cuddle pile as Virgil was getting ready). Virgil had gotten to his favorite coffee shop, where Janus' brother Patton worked, in time that it would be open and he also wouldn't be late for his shift, which was rare. It only worked out that way if Virgil's bus commute was perfectly timed.

Now caffeinated, and somewhat less-pessimistic-than-usual about the day ahead of him, Virgil retrieved the keys to the shop from his pocket, fumbling for a bit before finding the right one. He let out a breath as he found it, unlocking the door as he'd done a thousand times before and stepping in, shutting the door behind him and leaning his back against it. Virgil noted the clock on the wall, reading 5:02 am. The shop opened at 6, and he had more than enough sorting and stocking to do before then.

The next hour passed rather quickly. His co-worker Emile showed up shortly after him, and they both spent the rest of the time before the shop opened restocking and organizing the horrendous amounts of yarn and string and such supplies throughout the store and in the back room.

Shortly 6 am arrived, and it was time for the two of them to draw straws to decide who would man the register and help customers while the other continued stocking. Typically Virgil enjoyed the latter while Emile enjoyed the former, but their manager had insisted that they make the odds more random in order to get them both more comfortable in their unpreferred positions.

True to their manager's sentiment, Virgil drew the register stick. They both sighed at each other, and Emile returned to sorting through some cerulean yarn balls. Virgil made his way to the front of the store, unlocking the doors and flipping the sign to open, before making himself at home behind the register.

Generally, customers were rare at this time of morning, save for a few early-riser regulars. The bell at the top of the door chimed. Virgil didn't look up, expecting to see Margaret in her usual morning power-walk getup, coming in to check up on whether they'd gotten a shipment of lavender yarn yet.

"Morning, Marge. We still haven't gotten any lavender in, if-" Virgil halted his speaking upon looking up, feeling his throat constrict as he realized who had entered. At any rate, this person was certainly not Margaret.

The first thing that caught Virgil's attention about this new customer was their eyes. They were a burning blue, with small subtle mushes of gray here and there. Through their vaguely foggy colors, those eyes cut sharp like ice shards. The customer seemed entirely calm and stoic, however that did not extend to the ferocious - however not hostile - intensity with which they were staring Virgil down. Of course this intensity did not extend past their eyes, as the very slight twinge of a polite smile was seated at the corners of their mouth. Virgil briefly noted some seemingly familiar physical characteristics (although he was extremely wary to assume anything - what would be the chances of him and his boyfriends all meeting the same man individually, completely perchance?); shining black hair, square-framed glasses, the freckles, the pale and sunken nature of their face. Or, as Virgil certainly noticed, the subtle pronunciation of his cheekbones and jawline. They wore a black coat and a navy patterned scarf that appeared to be hand-knitted.

Virgil stumbled his way over to the closest register to the door - he wasn't sure why they even had two, they never needed to use them both simultaneously - and leaned haphazardly on the counter, propping his chin up on his palm.

"Sorry, hello, I thought you'd be someone else. Marge is usually the first in. What can I do for you?" His face felt really hot, and he was pretty sure that much was obvious to the newcomer, but he tried his best not to think about it.

The stranger didn't speak for a moment, merely leaning forward slightly with a furrowed brow. Virgil panicked for a moment, but followed their line of sight to the name tag on his hoodie. It was quite scuffed up, and the name "Virgil" was scarcely discernible through various smears of odd substances. Virgil quickly unpinned the name tag, beginning to rub away at the gunk with a sweater-covered thumb.

"It's Virgil, sorry about that," He spoke, hiding his hot cheeks behind his bangs as he scratched at his name tag feverishly. He quickly decided on just setting it down, wanting to give the newcomer his full attention.

"Good morning, Virgil," they spoke, and wow, was Virgil gay. The strangers' voice was deep and smooth, and reminded him a bit of Janus'. But this had a tactful, almost clinical and calculated sincerity, whereas Janus' was far more lilted and drawly. Regardless, Virgil felt his throat constricting a bit. He tried subtly coughing the feeling away. "I am in search of some high quality yarn, as a gift for a dear friend of mine. It is my understanding that this establishment is highly regarded for its products' quality?" Virgil tried not to stare. The stranger was running their fingers down and up the inside of one of the lapels of their coat very slowly, and that reminded Virgil terribly of Janus. He felt like he was in high school all over again, ogling over a tall pretty boy.

Regardless of his gay panic, Virgil cleared his throat. "Yeah, we try," His voice cracked slightly, and he tried clearing his throat again. "I mean, we have some pretty awesome suppliers, and we have a really, uh... Big selection of stuff. Do you, do you know what it is you want to get for your friend, exactly?" Virgil thanked any gods that existed had allowed him to formulate a coherent sentence, and he was glad to have the expectation of speaking temporarily off himself.

The customer tapped his chin with the side of his index finger, - which again, reminded Virgil painfully of Janus - humming as he continued surveying his surroundings. "I think he'd appreciate a selection of soft or pastel colors, and he adores the color blue. I think white would be a suitable addition as well. Do you sort your yarns by color?" he inquired, returning his heavy gaze to Virgil and pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. Virgil tried not to audibly gulp.

"Yeah, we do. here, let me show you to the right aisle," Virgil stepped away from the register, and tried to get out from behind the counter, only to completely trip over a cardboard box and fall directly onto his face.

"Goodness, are you alright?" the stranger paced quickly over to where Virgil was groaning on the floor, attempting to pull himself up onto his elbows. They reached a pale-white and very bony hand down to Virgil, who stared at it for a little too long before taking it gingerly.

The customer pulled firmly, and Virgil did too, and they both slightly miscalculated how much strength they needed to apply in order for Virgil to stand. Virgil stumbled forward just a bit as he rose. He looked up slightly and found himself nose to nose with the now wide-eyed man. Virgil yelped slightly, jumping away like a startled cat.

"Sh-shoot, sorry about that," Virgil took to fidgeting a bit aggressively with his hoodie strings, curling them around and between his fingers. "Uh, this way," he pushed a bit awkwardly past the man, looking at his shoes as he walked and willing away the burning heat he felt in his cheeks. Of course the first cute guy he encounters besides his boyfriends is right there when he falls on his face.

He paced over to the aisle with hues of blue and purple yarn, spotting Emile still working with a large box of cerulean. After a momentary panic and trying to wave Emile's attention without making any noise, the stranger turned the corner into the aisle Virgil had led him to. Virgil sighed to himself, annoyed at an in-no-way-at-fault Emile who still hadn't noticed their presence.

Virgil cleared his throat. "Hey, Emile, could you take register while I help this... customer?" Virgil had to take a moment to recall a phrase to describe him besides 'very beautiful man'.

"Uh-" Emile went to say he could help the customer for Virgil, since they were meant to stay in the vicinity of their assigned roles, but Virgil was looking at him with an intensity that blatantly said 'I am begging you to let me help this very gorgeous man to find his yarn and if you don't so help me god I will impale your severed and rotting skull on a rusty metal pole'. Emile chuckled a little shrilly. "Yeah, sure Virge," Emile slid past the two of them, making his way to the register as the chime of the door sounded again. "Welcome in, Margaret! Do-you-how-do?"

Virgil turned his attention back to the man looming slightly over him, leading him down the aisle to the softer and lighter shades. The customer was already scanning the shelves with a tactful intensity that made Virgil almost as anxious as it did further attracted to him.

"This variety is more than adequate," he spoke, almost under his breath, and Virgil tried not to shudder at the rumble in his voice.

"Um, great," Virgil piped up after a moment, and the icy gaze of the tall boy was on him once again. His cheeks felt real hot. "I can, get you a bag for... what you pick out? Er, a gift bag, if you'd like?" Virgil tapped the side of his fist into his hip a few times, trying to expel some of his nervousness. The stranger smiled softly.

"That would be excellent. Thank you, Virgil." He turned back to examining his options, and Virgil scurried off to find a gift bag.

The bags were all by the front register, and he grumbled a bit to himself on the way, preparing for some relentless teasing from his coworker for the next century at minimum. Emile was just waving Margaret off when Virgil rounded the corner, stepping behind the counter to rummage through some boxes for a gift bag.

"Sooo, Virgil," Emile started, tone entirely teasing as he leaned a little too far on the counter, tapping his orange pen on his lips.

"Don't. Say. Anything." Virgil hissed through clenched teeth, glancing up to give Emile another pointed glare for good measure. Emile chuckled lightly, leaning back on the counter a bit.

"Whaat? I won't! I'm totally innocent, see?" Emile puffed out his bottom lip and made his eyes look big. Virgil scoffed.

"Is that a cartoon reference?"

Emile grinned, shrugging. "Probably."

Virgil found the gift bags - finally - and began scampering off and away from the prying gaze of his overly curious co-worker.

Virgil helped the customer to find and collect the proper amount and variety of yarns that he wanted. As it turned out, it was a relatively easy task; aside from being impossibly and unintentionally charming, the stranger was mindful and courteous, and working with him was proving to be relatively easy. They bantered a bit, falling into a casual conversation as they searched for yarn, as well as while they walked back to the register for Virgil to ring his items up.

Emile gave Virgil a pointed look as he approached, trading him places as he walked with a skip in his step back to his yet unstocked shelves. Virgil rolled his eyes at him, stepping extra carefully behind the counter so as not to trip on any stray cardboard boxes. He leaned against the counter in front of the register, beginning to type numbers into it as though he knew the yarn prices like the back of his hand.

the customer stood at the counter before Virgil, vaguely examining his purchase as he watched Virgil slightly through his peripheral. He noticed the way Virgil bit at the inside corner of his mouth, worrying the flesh between his canines as he focused on adding the prices.

"Alright... your total is 82.53," Virgil said slowly, looking up at the stranger, who had - oddly enough - already been looking at him. The stranger glanced away momentarily, clearing his throat and reaching into an inside pocket of his coat for his wallet.

He produced a pristine black leather wallet, pulling a shiny navy blue debit card from between its folds and setting the wallet on the counter as he handed off the card. Virgil took the card and charged it, the customer punching in his PIN through the keypad.

A faint buzzing sounded from within the man's coat, and he reached in once more with knitted eyebrows. He pulled out what seemed to be his phone, eyes widening as he saw whatever was on the screen. Virgil couldn't see, but he figured someone must be calling him.

"My apologies, I must depart," The man spoke quietly, grabbing his gift bag of yarn and bringing his phone to his face as he made hastily for the door. Virgil didn't hear what he said when he answered the phone, but his brow was still furrowed when Virgil caught a glimpse of his face walking down the sidewalk out the store window.

"Bye..." Virgil said to the empty store front.

He looked down, seeing the customer's debit card still in his hand. "Shit." He saw the wallet set on the counter before him as well. He grabbed it, opening it to return the debit card to its proper place and see if there was a way of contacting the man within the wallet.

As he opened it, a white card similar in shape and size to the debit card fell to the floor. Virgil retrieved it, flipping it over to see what it was.

"No way..." Virgil was holding a driver's license. The name it was registered under was too familiar for it to be a coincidence.

He'd need to be giving one Logan Lattimer a call on his break.

#sanders sides #virgil sanders #logan sanders #ts logan #ts virgil #emile picani #analogical #anaroceit #anaroloceit #theyre so gay oml

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patton-cake · 3 years

Text

Happy birthday Logan!

Summary: It's Logan's birthday! He is a bit scared for all the attention that birthdays bring, but his roommates will make this day unforgettable... right?

Pairings: established Logicality, platonic LAMP, background prinxiety (like one sentence)

Ugh

Logan woke up with a groan, he never liked this day. Something about all the positivity and the happy people made him uncomfortable. Yes, he was a year older, that's how humans work, why should they celebrate that? Logan stepped out of bed and started to change into his normal outfit.

When he walked downstairs he prepared himself for his energetic roommates to congratulate him. Roman and Patton always made a big deal out of birthdays. For Virgil's birthday the two had spend weeks planning a nightmare before chrismas themed sleepover, just with the four of them. When Roman's birthday came, Patton had made Virgil and Logan help him to turn their apartment into a broadway themed paradise, with Roman as the star. Patton's birthday was a whole different kind of special. The three roommates had really tried their best to let their best friend know how much they appreciated him. Patton had been drowned in presents, every present handmade and given a personal twist. Tears had fallen down Patton's cheeks and they ended up in a group hug.

But today it was Logan's turn. His 'special' day. To Logan's suprise, the living room was empty when he arrived downstairs. No happy chatter, no grumpy Virgil and no Roman serenading the pancakes. It was completely silent. That's weird, not even Patton was here to prepare his signature birthday breakfast. With a confused look Logan grapped his coffee mug and made himself a cup of coffee.

After a few minutes, Logan could here faint footsteps comming downstairs. Ah, there came the birthday energy. He expected to see Patton walking into the kitchen to greet him with a big hug, but instead he saw Virgil. His roommate let out a groan as his way of greeting Logan and poured himself a cup of coffee before making his way to the living room. Strange

Another ten minutes later, a louder noice came downstairs. Loud footsteps marched downstairs followed by a powerful voice singing some Disney songs. Roman.

"Morning nerd!" Roman greeted and made himself a cup of camomile tea, still mumbling the melody of the song. After questioning himself if he should try to steal a cookie from Patton's collection (he decided not to), Roman sat down next to Virgil on the couch, turning on the TV.

What was going on? .....They hadn't forgotten his birthday had they? Not that Logan was that sentimental when it came to birthdays, it still felt kind of nice to be complimented and appreciated once in a while. Maybe they were waiting until Patton came downstairs? That made sense. Speaking of their last roommate, shouldn't he be here already? Patton was always the first to wake up. 'To make my special boys some breakfast!' As Patton himself liked to say. It wasn't like him to still be in bed this late.

With a bad gut feeling, Logan walked back to their rooms, making his way to Patton. He would be lying if he said that he wasn't concerned about this whole situation. Anxiously he knocked on the lightblue door before fidgeting with his tie. He could hear a loud yawn coming from inside Patton's room, followed by footsteps. The door opened and Logan saw a very tired Patton. The smaller buy carefully rubbed his eyes before stretching his arms.

"Goodmorning Lolo...", another yawn, "What can I do for you?" Patton had definitely just woken up. His voice was really soft and tired and he was still wearing his pyjamas.

"Salutations Patton, my apologies if I have woken you up, I was simply concerned about your wellbeing."

Patton looked up at him, blinking a couple times before actually hearing what Logan said. "Those were a lot of fancy words Logan. I'm fine though! Just had to finish something last night, didn't get that much sleep."

A relief, mixed with some confusion fell over Logan. He then started to realise that it had been quiet for a few minutes now. Just when he wanted to speak up again, a weight started to lean against Logan. Patton had fallen asleep again. He must have been really tired then, to fall asleep in Logan's arms. Logan chuckled to himself before carefully picking Patton up, carrying him downstairs.

When he walked into their living room, Logan gently placed Patton on one of their couches, covering him with a fluffy blanket. He heard a chuckled laugh behind him and when he turned around he saw Roman and Virgil smirking at him. "Didn't take you for the princely type Specks. Are you trying to take over my job?" Logan rolled his eyes and ignored Roman. "I'm with Flynn Rider over here. One of those himbo's is more than enough already." Virgil crossed his arms before pushing Roman into their kitchen. The theee roommates made themselves breakfast, since Patton was clearly unable to do it for them, and sat down.

"Doing anything special today guys?" Roman asked while eating a spoonful of cornflakes. Ah there it came. The birthday plans. Except, it didnt?

"You know me Princey, I'm busy planning on how to take over the government and making Welcome to the black parade the new national anthem." Virgil finished his bowl and sat it down in the sink, "Better start making my plans, see you later nerds."

Just when Virgil walked back to his room, they could hear some movements from the living room. Patton carefully made his way to the kitchen, wrapped up in a blanket burrito.

"Goodmorning Ro, hi again Lolo." Tiredly, Patton made himself a sandwich before sitting next to Logan, leaning on his shoulder. "I'm sorry that I fell alseep on you Logan" Logan smiled softly at Patton and intertwined their fingers. "It's quite alright Patton, I hope you'll feel a little more energetic soon"

The three roommates finished their breakfast and Roman and Patton made their way back upstairs to get properly dressed. A sad feeling fell over Logan, had they really forgotten his birthday? It definitely seemed like they had...

Logan decided to leave the house for a couple of hours, going to the library. If his friends didn't want to celebrate his birthday then he had to make it a great day for himself on his own. Maybe being surrounded by books would make him feel a little happier. So Logan left a sticky note on the table with his location, grapped his coat and stepped outside.

The fresh wind in his face already made him feel a bit better. The Fall weather always cheered him up a bit, the pretty leafs colouring the landscape and the beautiful aesthetic of orange and red. Logan warmed his hands by putting them in his coat pockets and let out a sigh. Fall had always been his favourite season. The cold nights he spend together with his roommates rewatchings movies, watching Virgil turn into a his 'true form' as he called it during their annual Halloween celebration, following Roman to every little market he could find and buying the most ridiculous and unnecessary items and of course the lazy days he and Patton spend cuddled up in one of their rooms, sharing soft kisses and drifting off to sleep from time to time.

With a soft smile on his face, Logan entered the library, greeting ms. Williams who he had become really close with after spending all his teenage years in this library. He made his way to the mystery section, collected a couple of his favourite books and sat down at one of the tables next to the windows. Logan read his way through five books before hearing someone enter the building.

"Logan? Are you here?"

A soft voice echoed through the library and Logan could hear ms. Williams reassuring Patton that Logan was in fact somewhere in here. Patton thanked the librarian and Logan could hear his footsteps comming his way. "There you are Lolo! I was worried that we lost you on your birthday!" His boyfriend softly giggled and sat down next to Logan.

"So.. So you didn't forget my birthday?" Logan shyly looked down at his hands, cursing himself for the blush that spread over his face. "Of course not Starlight! How could we ever forget the day someone this amazing was born?" Patton let out another giggle before taking Logan's hands in his, "What did you think we all have been working on all these weeks? What did you think I was working on last night? Come Lo! Virge and Ro are waiting for us at home!"

Patton pulled his boyfriend up and helped him return the books to their places. He enthusiastically waved ms. Williams goodbye, who chuckled and gave Logan a soft smile as to say 'You better not let that one go Logan'. With their hands intertwined, they made their way outside again. When Logan shivered slightly from the cold, Patton pressed his side to him, resting his head on his shoulder. "To keep us warm!" Logan let out a soft laugh and put his arm around Patton's shoulder, pressing him closer. In a comfortable silence the two made their way back home.

When they were close to their house, Logan could hear music coming from inside of the place. Patton turned the key around and opened the door. The two were met by the smell of cinnamon, pumpkin bread and chocolate. Logan, as the gentleman he was, helped Patton with his coat and put both of their coats away. Patton, once again, grapped Logan's hand and tugged him to the living room. And wow.

Logan definitely hadn't expected this. His friends had completely transformed their living room. The couches were pushed against the wall, the curtains were closed and the floor was covered in pillows. Cinnamon scented candles were placed everywhere and the table was covered with sweets and other delicious foods. He felt Patton's arm wrapped around him and leaned back against his boyfriend, who placed his chin on Logan's shoulder. "Happy birthday my love." It didn't take long before Roman and (a hesitant) Virgil joined the group hug.

They spend the night watching all of Logan's favourite movies and documentaries while chatting in their pyjamas and eating the backed goods Patton ("and Roman!") had made.

A few hours after midnight, Logan looked around at his roommates. Virgil had fallen asleep after the fifth movie. His friend leaned against Roman's shoulder while using his arm as a teddy bear. Speaking of Roman, it hadn't taken long for him to follow Virgil. His head leaned on Virgil's and he snorted a bit, making Logan chuckle. Last but not least he turned to look at Patton. Beautiful Patton, who was curled up against Logan's chest, breathing softly. He had fallen asleep a few minutes ago after tiredly mumbling about how amazing Logan was and how his hair always looked so cute and how Patton could spend hours just watching him reading 'because you are so adorable Logibear! I love listening to you!' Logan had kissed his boyfriend's forehead before softly thanking him.

Yeay, Logan truly was the luckiest men alive. He had his two best friends and his adorable boyfriend who he hoped to spend many more birthdays with. He let out a quiet yawn before closing his eyes, snuggling closer to Patton, and soflty drifting away.

#logan sanders #logicality #implied prinxiety #platonic lamp #patton sanders #virgil sanders #roman sanders #happy birthday Logan!!#pattoncake writes #logan loves fall #lo is lowkey sad #patton is adorable #virgil is an emo #roman is a himbo #you know #the normal stuff

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anxiouslyfred · 3 years

Text

Secret Surprise Hell

Summary: Virgil would have thought his soulmate taking the time to plan a surprise party in so much secret he knew a lot of the details before anyone his soulmate knew in person sweet, except now he hates knowing the details and having to keep the person it’s for from finding out early.

/\/\

Knowing the secrets of someone you've never even met was a very very bizarre thing. Nobody quite knew what to make of the soulmate connection and everyone had very strong views about secrets, whether it was that they should keep everything hidden or reveal all constantly, but either way, they were deliberate over how they treated secrets.

Virgil wasn't sure if he liked keeping so many secrets, but when the world left him certain people would vilify him for everything, from the clothes he wore to the things he enjoyed not matching the popular ones, it just felt safer to keep them secret.

Occasionally he'd make a friend and try trusting them with some of who he is, and now even that felt like stealing the knowledge of his accidental secrets away from his soulmate. After all a secret shared by 2 people isn't really a secret at all when they know each other in person.

His soulmate however didn't seem to keep any particularly identifying secrets. The secrets that would appear in Virgil's mind were random, about places they went occasionally, or praises for someone called Roman. Why those things needed to be kept secret, he couldn't know without meeting his soulmate, but he kept note of them in a journal. At least nothing seemed likely to make him get his soulmate arrested over a secret.

There's been news reports over the years about soulmates getting each other arrested, or testifying against each other without actually meeting. It damaged both parties in that soulmate connection as people saw betraying the secrets of your soulmate with utmost scorn, no matter how reprehensible the acts they'd carried out were. Virgil dreaded the chance he could be in that situation, but whomever his soulmate was didn't seem likely to do that.

Currently they were planning a surprise birthday party actually. Virgil had been surprised that came to him as a secret since usually parties like that needed multiple people to plan and it had remained secret for long enough that he knew when the decorations would be brought and that his soulmate was getting them from a department store in the same chain he worked at. It could even be the same one given there had never been a clue over where his soulmate lived.

Virgil hadn't learnt much beyond that they'd come with their brother since that meant sharing the plans with someone else, but he was going to keep an eye out, especially in case anyone in blue or called Patton mentioned wanting birthday decorations. He knew that sometimes people planning surprise parties forgot to let their friends know they were remembered while planning it all. Blue had been mentioned way too much while Remus was planning the party entirely in secret so Virgil could only believe Patton liked the colour a lot.

By the time the day to get party decorations came around he'd grown more and more curious over if there was a way to plan a meet up, make secret arrangements just with himself to go somewhere specific enough his soulmate could meet him there. It was a futile dream and one Virgil couldn't imagine doing. He hated being around public spaces alone, and then the added anxiety of hoping his soulmate might actually try to turn up? It would never happen, but then again he was kind of doing the return with his reaction to this party.

“Come Onnnnnn! If we're going to get this party set up we need to get decorations and get home!” An obnoxiously loud whine brought Virgil out of his thoughts as a pair of twins came into the store. Really it was a guy in what seemed to be a see through green and black ice skating costume and combat boots was dragging someone identical to him but far more reasonably dressed into the store, already looking around to decide the direction they'd head in.

“Welcome to the store, how can I help you today?” Virgil recited, long since trained into greeting people, even if they clearly didn't need to.

The ice skater outfit twin glanced at him for a second. “If you have pinatas I need to know where and if I can beat them up before buying them!” He decided, completely seriously after a second.

“Or perhaps you could direct us to party decorations. My brother has decided to throw a surprise party for one of my friends.” The other interjected, straightening his jacket now the pull on his wrist was released.

“Someone Had Too and you, for all your bluster of being a courteous knight wouldn't even bring up his birthday at all, despite the hints he kept dropping about wanting to do something!”

Virgil interrupted with a quick cough, not wanting an argument to break out. “You want the back shelves, that corner and pinatas are like an aisle away from the decorations. That classes as a party game instead.” He directed, arm pointing through the small clothing section near the front of the store.

“We've got decorations to get and things to beat up then. See ya!” The ice skater uniform was once again dragging his twin away, already talking about the various other things the world said it was good to beat up against things it was bad to.

Once they were out of sight Virgil returned to thinking and just watching the doors, half wondering if the pair could have been connected or possibly even his soulmate and whomever they'd chosen to go shopping with. He could imagine ice skater in combat boots keeping some of the weird secrets he'd received over the years.

“Um, Hey, are there any party decorations in here?” A rather down trodden man had come in while Virgil was thinking. He was in a blue collared top, and had his arms wrapped around him trying to hug himself.

Slowly Virgil nodded, “Sure, but are you okay? You don't look much like you want a party currently.” He wouldn't normally ask a customer this, but even without the thoughts in his head that this could be Patton, he just thought the guy needed a friendly face.

“Friends all forgot my birthday, I guess I'll do something myself. Perhaps if I get a party set up and invite them over this evening I can have a small celebration or something?” The puppy dog eyes though the guys glasses were fatal, and Virgil definitely hoped this was Patton, or at least this guys friends were doing the same thing as his soulmate.

None of that could be said though, so Virgil dragged a hand though his hair. “That's rough, Buddy. Come on, I've finished my time as greeter and should check the shelves anyway. I'll show you where the cakes are and help carry any decorations you pick out once we get there.”

“You don't have to do that, Kiddo. Thank you, though. I'm Patton.” The thanks had Virgil shaking his head, but the name had him freezing. This was his soulmate's friend, or given the weird twins from earlier, his soulmate's brother's friend and definitely had a surprise party planned for him already. How the hell was Virgil going to not only keep him from spending too much on decorations, as well as away from the brothers, while still managing to meet his soulmate?

Either way he definitely was sticking with Patton now. “No, I insist. Come on, I know the nicer cakes we have in stock. What type of cakes do you like? Chocolate, plain with jam, decorated to look like character or animals? We've got something for everyone here.”

“Animals. I love puppies and kittens so if they're on anything I'll probably pick that. Some of my friends have allergies so I can't get a cake with nuts on it.” Patton was already seeming happier with his help, but paused for a moment. “If you're gonna be helping me so much Kiddo, can you tell me your name? These glasses aren't good for reading name tags quickly.”

“I'm Virgil, and now I can't decide if I should show you the latest tray of cupcakes we've started getting or one chocolate sponge I've been tempted to get a few times.” This was far more customer service filtering than Virgil usually did, but he could play sweetness and light for a while.

They were looking at the cupcakes when the twin in a red coat called over. “Hey, Patton, fancy seeing you here.”

Virgil narrowed his eyes to the end of the aisle he'd come from before turning around. With how loud the call was it screamed of distraction technique and if the ice skater dude was around Virgil was going to either give him a piece of his mind or make sure it was passed on to Patton's friends. “If this is one of your friends I should probably get back to stocking shelves before someone challenges what I've been doing.” He offered, seeing Patton glancing towards him.

“Gosh Kiddo, I hope I won't have gotten you in trouble.” Patton had those puppy dog eyes again.

“Nah, I'm pretty sure I've got a good excuse if they try anyway. We pride ourselves on customer service.” Virgil dismissed it, already heading out the aisle. “Hope you have a good birthday.”

Sure enough when he got to the aisle with birthday cakes on there was the dude in his ice skating costume. Virgil immediately marched over, more irritated he'd been caught in this entire thing than happy at the chance to meet his soulmate now.

“Next time you decide to keep a birthday party a secret go to some other bloody store. I did not need to have to distract Patton all because you and that idiot with you left him feeling abandoned on his birthday!” He got immediate attention on him, even with the completely bewildered gaze. “Also is your brother Roman, and that why you constantly have secrets thinking something he's made is good? Cause right now if Patton is his friend primarily I've got half a mind to go and yell at him. Your party for him better be good!”

The ice skater guy burst out laughing then, “Honey, I've imagined meeting my soulmate a million ways but never thought it would be telling me off in a supermarket! You're coming to this party now and I'll make sure you can corner Roman to yell at him too! Especially if I can watch with popcorn. Can you tell Jay and Lolo off at the same time? They've all said I'm making a big deal out of nothing trying to set up a surprise party for Patton, but he's done so many parties for all of us.”

“I'll add them to the list. Have they at least got birthday presents for him?” Virgil shrugged, not quite sure what to do with the sudden invitation, but it wasn't like he was doing anything that evening.

“If they didn't earlier they definitely will by now. I got my morning-star out to threaten them with when Logan tried claiming the fuss made of birthday's was excessive.” Remus agreed, already nodding before pouting. “Hang on, you've known me all of two seconds and have somehow decided to care about both Patton and me in that time? Why the hell is your biggest secret that you're lonely?”

Virgil was not here to get called out for his own issues. “Anger for being dragged into surprise party planning does not count as caring.”

“Yeah and Roman's artwork is as worthless as he claims when the shading goes slightly wrong. Pull the other one. You've latched on quickly.” Remus cut through any blustering arguments Virgil might have tried to say.

“Loud places or crowded places are way too stressful to talk to people in. Hell even here I stick to the tills whenever there's holidays coming up to avoid the crowds. Doesn't exactly help me make friends and any I had have long since vanished cause they liked them.” He shrugged, reaching for the cake Patton had almost gone for before deciding it would be too big for the amount of friends he thought might come over at short notice.

“Cake got, now for chocolate gateau so I can shove it in someone's face!” Remus bounced off, tugging Virgil along with him. “Also, since we're soulmate's I better be getting your number and address so I can turn up out of the blue randomly.”

Virgil snorted. “So you're going to stalk me under the pretence of getting to know me?”

“You know it, MarketKing, you know it!” Remus really was looking through the refrigerated aisles for gateaus, but still turned to leer momentarily at him.

“Just call me Virge, or Virgil. What's your name anyway? I kinda forgot about that since I already knew what you're doing.” He wasn't going to point out the chilled desserts were on the end of an aisle nearer the frozen foods. On the chance an employee figured out who their soulmate was while working they were allowed a margin of unproductive work time.

“Remus, although Duke or Dukey works too. It's fun to have Roman scream those nicknames after I've pranked him. Half the time he gets so embarrassed it's like a second part of the prank.” Remus cheerfully offered.

Whatever this surprise party was going to be, Virgil was definitely interested in where getting to know his soulmate would end up.

#dukexiety #soulmate au #remus sanders #virgil sanders #patton sanders #roman sanders #creativitwins #platonic intruality #platonic moxiety

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hottestthingalive · 4 years

Text

a storm in your eyes (lightning and dark skies)

It is then, with Virgil curled up against him, wet hair soaking Logan’s neck and the smell of hot chocolate in the air, that Logan realizes he loves a thunderstorm in human form.

His best friend.

Oh, god, Logan is in love with his best friend. And also his roommate. And also his favorite person in the whole of the universe.

(He’s pretty sure that if Virgil could hear his thoughts, and if, y’know, Virgil wasn’t the person in question, he’d roll his eyes and say, “Oh my god, they were roommates.” The idea nearly makes him laugh.)

–

Notes: Thank you so much to @snek-snacc, @smileyzs, @confused-sunflower, @xaimelarks, and all my other followers for putting up with me ranting about this story, and helping me edit. Y’all are the best!

Edit: After publishing this, I got this AMAZING piece of art from @ent-is-undecisive / @birdsongisland! Go check them out, because they’re insanely talented, and looking at this piece makes me so so so happy!

Two sequels also exist for this now!

waffles and wedding vows (promises and proof)

songs and stars and silence (of loving you)

Hope you enjoy!

Relationships: Romantic Analogical, background romantic Royaliceit, background romantic Intrusleep/rem^2, platonic drlamper

Words: 6885

Ao3

–

Logan Sanders falls in love with a thunderstorm.

Well, not a thunderstorm, exactly. As far as Logan knows (and he knows quite a lot), a tempest, no matter how powerful, cannot take the form of a human.

Still, the first time the boy with a hurricane’s eyes enters Mugnificent (the coffee shop Logan very reluctantly works at), he swears the smell of ozone fills the air.

His name is Virgil Foley, and he sweeps into Logan’s life like a summer storm, filling it with wind and chaos and unmatched wild beauty.

The first time they meet, it is 5:26 in the morning, and he’s considering revolt. Yes, he needs this job to supplement his scholarship, but being up this early is awful enough to warrant mutiny. Besides, customers are few this early in the day, and thus the tip jar is woefully empty.

The door opens with a ding

(there is a smell like lightning)

and in walks a person with dark hair tied in a bun under a black beanie, rummaging around in their backpack. Their bag is covered in pins, and Logan notes a rainbow one near the center.

“Hey,” they say, and he meets eyes the color of stormclouds, a grey bordering on purple and blue simultaneously. “Can I just get a small coffee, please? Black is fine.”

“Yeah,” Logan nods. “Name?”

They glance around the empty Mugnificent with a raised eyebrow, but reply with “Virgil,” anyways.

“Nice to meet you, Virgil,” says Logan, and he’s not normally one for small talk, but he also is sleep-deprived, and too tired to have any sort of filter. “I’m Logan.”

Virgil relaxes, and they hold out a hand for him to shake. “Nice to meet you, too. I use he/him pronouns, by the way.”

“Ah, yes,” Logan nods, returning the handshake. “He/him for me, as well, thank you.”

Virgil pays and waits by the counter as Logan goes to prepare the coffee, scrolling through his phone. There is a comfortable silence as he makes the drink, which Logan spends mentally cursing out Roman, his coworker who was supposed to arrive for work thirty minutes ago. “Here,” he says finally, holding out the cup for Virgil to take.

“Thanks.” Virgil is wearing fingerless gloves, and his nails are painted a bright purple. They shine in the fluorescent lighting. “Have a nice day, Logan.”

“You too,” he replies, and it seems too little. Logan doesn’t believe in magic, or gods, or destiny, but as he watches Virgil turn, about to walk out the door, something twangs in his chest. Despite himself, Logan opens his mouth, searching for something to say, anything that will make him stay.

He blinks, about to speak, and Virgil is gone.

A few minutes later, it begins to rain.

–

The second time he meets Virgil, it is in his psych class.

Logan has always liked psychology. It’s fascinating how the human brain works, he thinks, and even if he isn’t always so good at understanding emotions, he’s quite good at the science behind them. His appreciation for said science is the only reason he signs up for the class at all, when it has practically nothing to do with his astrophysics major.

He’s just about forgotten about the boy with eyes of a storm by the time he sits down for the first psychology class of the semester, pulling his computer and textbooks out of his own bag, and setting them before him. Logan cracks the knuckles on each hand individually, a nervous habit he’s had since he was in high school. He’s done his best to break it, but he supposes, as annoying as it is, it’s better than some of the alternatives.

Case in point, the boy from Mugnificent, who walks into the room nervously tapping his thigh while chewing at his lip. There’s a split in it, one that shines a bright red against the chapped surface, and Logan wants to wince just looking at it.

His eyes flash with recognition as he spots Logan in one of the back rows, and he pauses. “Logan, right? From the coffee place.”

“And you’re Virgil,” Logan smiles, and okay, maybe he hadn’t forgotten Virgil so much as attempted to forget him.

“Can I sit there?” he asks, nodding to the seat beside Logan.

It turns out Virgil is smart, and funny, and just a little bit snarky, and a English major minoring in psychology. He’s got all kinds of nervous habits, chewing on his lip and tapping out rhythms known only to him and drawing on every available surface, and Logan often notices a tendril of ink wrapping around one of his fingers from under his gloves.

They become fast friends, him and Virgil, bonding over a love for space and science and poetry. He starts coming to Mugnificent for coffee more often, and Roman teases Logan incessantly about it.

“You’re finally making friends!” he pretends to sob, throwing his arms around him, and he has to shove Roman away, rolling his eyes. Virgil is stifling a laugh behind one gloved hand, and Logan mouths “Traitor,” at him, though he isn’t really mad at all.

They fall into patterns -- psych and history and statistics together, always seated side by side, sometimes accompanied by Roman or Patton or Remus or Janus or any one of their expanding circle of friends. The two of them buy each other coffee, edit essays, go out for junk food (that Logan complains about but secretly loves) with their friends.

Virgil begs to paint Logan’s nails one night as they watch documentaries together in Patton and Virgil’s dorm room. His tongue sticks out of his mouth slightly as he focuses on the tiny white dots he’s adding, and Logan ends up loving the night sky that graces his fingers. In return, Logan styles Virgil’s long hair into a crown of braids.

“Your Majesty,” he bows as he leads Virgil to the mirror.

“If I’m royalty now, I demand a feast to celebrate,” Virgil grins, admiring his hair. “Sir Logan, this calls for pizza!”

“All the junk food you consume is going to kill you one day,” Logan sighs, but he’s already dialing their favorite pizza place.

They eat dinner seated on the floor, holding paper plates and drinking soda as they watch Cosmos. Patton returns to the dorm a few minutes later, accompanied by Janus and Roman both, and snags some of the pizza for himself – luckily, they’d thought to order extra, as soon Remus, Remy, and Emile all show up, too, crowding into the dorm room and around Logan’s laptop. The documentary is switched to Big Hero 6, Virgil showing off his hair and Logan his nails as the others admire them. Soon Virgil is breaking out his nail polish again, painting delicate puppies on Patton’s fingers, and Logan is teaching Roman how to do the same hairstyle on Emile’s curls.

It’s a Saturday night, so they feel comfortable all crashing in Patton and Virgil’s room, squeezing far too many young adults into one small space. Emile giggles that it reminds them of sleepovers they went to when they were in elementary school, and Remus points out that they ought to play Truth or Dare with a manic grin. Virgil quickly puts a stop to that, however, distracting Remus with conspiracy theories and carving marshmallows to look like Lovecraftian monsters, and Logan wants to laugh because Virgil is very much a mom friend, despite his protests to the contrary. Still, as he sips hot cocoa with a marshmallow Cthulhu staring up at him from the mug, he has to admit it was a good idea. They all get into the fun, carving marshmallows with whatever cutlery Patton and Virgil have in their room, and eventually Monster Mallows will become a tradition for all of their friend group.

When he falls asleep that night, lying on the floor in the blanket fort Patton and Roman had insisted on building, he dreams of rain and lightning, across dark skies that resemble Virgil’s eyes.

–

Logan realizes Virgil is his best friend in the middle of winter, when he shows up at Mugnificent at the end of his shift, ordering two coffees and taking them as Logan gets ready to leave. “Sorry, Roman,” Virgil says, though he doesn’t look sorry at all as he hands Logan one of the drinks and reaches out to hold his other hand. “C’mon, L, we’ve got to hurry if we’re going to get there in time.”

“Where are we going?” Logan raises an eyebrow, throwing on his coat and waving goodbye to Roman (who is saying something dramatic about a grievous betrayal) as he sips at the coffee. It’s perfect, his order exactly.

“Look!” Virgil grins as they leave the coffee shop, and it’s snowing, white flakes falling around them and coating the ground. Some of the cars nearby are already covered in it. “C’mon, we’ve got to get to the park.”

“Wait, why?” he asks. “Virgil, this looks rather like the makings of a blizzard. We should probably go back to our dorms so we can prepare if we get snowed in.”

“I know it’s a snowstorm,” Virgil rolls his eyes, and his stormy eyes are bluer than Logan’s ever seen them, shining with excitement. “Now, let’s go!”

Logan should probably argue more, but he’s laughing as he gets pulled along, the two half-running towards the park.

They slow down at the top of a hill already lightly coated with snow, and Virgil reaches into his bag to pull out a picnic blanket. “No,” Logan protests, but he’s cackling as Virgil yells “Snow picnic!” and spreads it over the snow.

“This is going to turn into a blizzard,” he manages to say, stifling his giggles. “We are going to be buried alive because you wanted to have a picnic in a snowstorm.”

“Oh, shush,” Virgil grins, flopping down onto the blanket and digging into his bag again to retrieve two bagels wrapped in tinfoil. “Drink your coffee and watch the snow with me, Logan Sanders.”

The bagel he hands Logan has Crofters jam instead of cream cheese spread across it, still warm from toasting, and Logan could kiss Virgil if they weren’t very platonic…

Well, it feels like they are a whole lot more than friends, at this point. There’s something about their relationship that feels different from the ones Logan has with their other companions, be it Remus or Emile, Patton or Janus, Roman or Remy.

Are they best friends?

He asks, and Virgil merely grins and says “I hope so.”

It’s amazing, lying there as they watch the sky, munching on bagels and sipping at their coffee and pointing out oddly shaped clouds. Virgil is practically covered in snowflakes by the time they have to leave, the wind picking up too much to stay, and Logan is no better. Still, he thinks it was worth it, even when he gets a cold and has to spend the weekend curled up in blankets, sneezing and coughing as he works on his essay for his cosmology class. Virgil gets a cold, too, and they end up on the phone together as they work, Virgil blasting music on his end and Logan parroting his roommate’s consistent reminders to take medicine, and drink some water!

Emile seems to think it’s cute, for some reason, and they tell Logan to say hi to Virgil for them, a smile playing on their lips that he’s too sick to interpret.

–

Logan has a crush on a boy in their shared statistics class by March, the one who sits three rows in front of him and two seats to the right, who has green hair and a cheerful grin. Virgil listens patiently about it whenever Logan brings it up, and when they have to pair up for a final project, he pushes him towards his crush, joining Remus instead.

He finds out his crush already has a romantic partner in a strictly monogamous relationship when they’re nearly done with the project, and Virgil shows up to Logan’s dorm room with ice cream and his laptop that night, pulling aside Emile as he comes in and whispering something to him. Emile leaves shortly after, and the two of them are alone.

“What did you tell Emile?” Logan asks later, when they’re sitting on his bed and watching trashy teenage romcoms, because, according to Virgil, “This way, you won’t associate any good movies with this.”

“Well, Patton invited him for a ‘sleepover,’” Virgil says, eating directly from the carton of chocolate ice cream, gaze shifting from the screen to Logan. “Did the moment he saw your text on the groupchat.”

Logan had texted that his crush has a partner when Roman had begun teasing him about it on said chat. Looking back, it may not have been the best of decisions, but all he wants to do right now is curl into the comforter and watch bad movies, while simultaneously eating unholy amounts of ice cream.

“It’s not a big deal,” he protests, pulling the blankets closer around him.

“Listen, L, you’re sad ‘cause the boy you like… well, you know. Anyways, you being sad is a big deal, at least to us.” Virgil isn’t wearing his normal clothes, only a pair of pajama pants and a sweatshirt (Logan knows he ran over in his nightwear, which makes him feel worse), so he can see the ink covering his hands, smudged in places.

“Why do you draw on yourself so much?” He leans over to look at the patterns of spirals winding their way up Virgil’s arms, tracing them with one finger. “That much ink can’t be good for your skin, pretty as it is, Vee.”

Virgil bats his hand away, blushing behind his curtains of dark hair, and Logan laughs. “It’s just a nervous habit, okay?” he exclaims, and Logan pokes his cheek, cooing.

“Aw, lookit you,” he smiles, and even though Logan’s heart hurts from what happened with his crush, he doesn’t think he would trade anything for his friendship with Virgil Foley. “So cute.”

“I’m not cute,” Virgil grumbles, pressing play on the computer. “Watch the shitty movie and shush, nerd.”

He gets over the boy from statistics eventually, and gets an A on the project, which Roman insists they celebrate with breakfast at Logan’s favorite diner on campus. (Logan’s pretty sure Roman just feels guilty about teasing him about it, but he goes anyways, pulling his friend aside later to tell him it’s fine.)

–

They return from summer vacation changed. Janus, Patton, and Roman are dating now, for one thing, and it’s disgustingly sappy. Emile comes out as asexual and aromantic a few days after they get back, and Logan helps them hang flags in their dorm room when they arrive a week later. Remy has switched majors, from biology to culinary classes, and Remus tells them excitedly that he’s managed to start a rather popular horror comic online. (Logan reads it, and learns Remus is quite adept at art, writing, and scaring the crap out of him. He never looks at door knobs the same way again.) Virgil, meanwhile, has started wearing far less baggy clothes and more makeup – in other words, people around campus start realizing that Virgil is actually hot, and not just a relatively cute bundle of sweatshirts.

Logan kind of feels weird about it. He knows how aesthetically pleasing Virgil is, of course – they’ve spent enough time together for him to have figured that out – but… well, Logan had realized while he was away how much he’d missed Virgil, even more so than his other friends. He tells himself it is because of how close they are, and ignores the ugly anger in his chest when people flirt with Virgil, or how his heart pounds and face flushes when they curl up to watch movies these days.

As for him, well, he’s dyed his hair a dark blue, a color so dark it’s almost black. Roman marvels over it, asking how he managed to not damage his hair in the process, and Logan doesn’t feel like telling him that he had meant to do a brighter shade, but hadn’t realized how hard it would be to get proper color without bleaching his normal dark hair. He does end up telling Virgil later, though, when Remy and Patton drag them and the rest of their friends to a party.

For the record, Logan tended to avoid such events. He didn’t see the point, firstly – he’d never been a fan of crowds, especially not ones where everyone was drunk off their asses, and he generally had too much work to do to bother with parties. Secondly, he simply didn’t care enough to look nice for such a thing, or to go at all. Logan would much rather spend time with his friends if he had to be up in the middle of the night, whether haunting the 24/7 diner a few miles off campus or playing stupid games in the woods or making fun of Disney movies while throwing popcorn at the screen and shushing each other so they didn’t get noise complaints.

But then there were Patton and Remy, social creatures who liked seeing other people and didn’t mind getting wasted to do so. Roman and Janus typically followed Patton wherever he went, so they were a given, and Remus had developed a raging crush on Remy by then, so he’d probably have tagged along even if Remy hadn’t grabbed his hand and said “You’ll come, right, Ree?” with a grin.

Well, Remus was lost to them after that, and that left Emile, Logan, and Virgil alone.

Which would have been fine! Except then Virgil had got dragged in by Patton (a difficulty of being his roommate, according to Logan’s best friend, was that Patton was very, very persuasive when he wanted to be) and Virgil had begged Logan to come for “Introvert solidarity, L! Introvert solidarity!”

Then Emile had sighed, said something about being the only responsible one, and appointed themself designated driver. So Logan didn’t even have that excuse to pull himself and Virgil out of it early.

He finds himself on a couch in someone’s house, sitting besides Virgil. Janus tells him that it is owned by someone who goes to their college but lives nearby, a summer home belonging to their parents or something. Janus says ze aren’t sure who the actual host is, and ze run off to go find Roman or Patton before Logan can ask why all of them are attending a party hosted by someone they don’t know.

Virgil has obviously already had something to drink, or he’s insanely sleep-deprived, as he has started playing with Logan’s hair. Logan’s willing to bet on the former (although knowing Virgil, he can’t be sure – he has an awful sleep schedule) especially since he’s never known the other to be so touchy, even when tired.

“How’d you get it like this?” Virgil asks, running his fingers through Logan’s curls. He’s perched on top of the couch, and though he would normally be concerned that Virgil might fall, Logan is just glad he doesn’t have to bend over so his friend can examine his hair.

He tells Virgil, and can’t help but smile as he laughs, perhaps a little more than the story warrants. They sit there in peace for a few minutes, Virgil humming along with any song he recognizes and Logan scanning the room for any of their friends.

“Your hair is so pretty,” Virgil eventually says, and Logan is surprised he can hear him at all over the noise of the music and other people. He slides down from the couch to sit beside him, reaching up to poke Logan’s cheek. “You’re pretty. You know that, right? You’re real, real pretty.”

“Aw,” Logan grins, hoping the dim lights and Virgil’s addled brain will hide his red cheeks. “What is it you say? Oh, right; you think I’m warm.”

“No, dummy, I think you’re hot,” Virgil sighs. “Get it right.”

“Why, thank you.”

“‘Course. You’re my best friend, Logan Sanders.”

“Same,” he replies, dodging Virgil’s attempt to flick him as he scans the room. “Have you seen Remy or Remus around recently?”

“Oh, they’ve been making out in that closet over there,” Virgil says offhandedly, pointing, and Logan nearly chokes. “You didn’t know? They’re so obvious, Remy’s been whining about it to me for weeks. ‘Oh, Virgil, I’m doomed to be alone forever!’ ‘Oh, Virgil, Remus is so hot, and I’m going to whine about it to you for hours!’ ‘Oh, Virgil, I have a crush on a trash rat man and I won’t stop talking about it ever!’”

“Did Remy actually call Remus a ‘trash rat man’?” he snickers, turning to look at Virgil, who is wringing his hands in mock despair as he imitates Remy.

“No,” Virgil pouts. “Wish he had. Remus would love that.”

“He would,” Logan agrees, rolling his eyes fondly. “Hey, do you want to leave?”

“Why, Logan Perfect-Hair Sanders, are you asking me to ditch a party with you?” he laughs.

“That isn’t my middle name and you know it.” Logan shoots off a text to Emile, standing and turning to grab Virgil’s hand, pulling him upright. “But sure. Will you, Virgil Emo-Nightmare Foley, ditch this absurd party with me?”

“Logan, I thought you’d never ask,” Virgil smirks. “Let’s bounce!”

They get lucky – Logan hasn’t had anything to drink, and due to how large their group is, Virgil had had to drive over Patton, Janus, Roman, and himself earlier. Virgil hands him the keys to the car, and Logan drives them to the nearby McDonalds, where they order fries and milkshakes. “Let’s go somewhere high,” Virgil says when they return to the car, grinning, and Logan obliges, driving them to his favorite stargazing spot near campus, partway up a mountain in a parking lot for an old playground.

Soon, he finds himself sitting on the hood of Virgil’s car, dipping his fries in a chocolate shake as the two of them stare up at the stars and the moon, pointing out constellations. “Look,” giggles Virgil, his head on Logan’s shoulder as he traces lines between stars. “It’s the glasses one!”

“There is no ‘glasses’ constellation, Virgil,” he points out, but the path his friend is etching into the sky does look rather like a pair of glasses.

“Well, there is now,” replies the other. “It’s your constellation! You deserve one, y’know, ‘cause you’re pretty, and smart, and nice, and funny, and you’re just the best, Lo, okay?”

“How much did you have to drink, exactly?” Logan asks, raising an eyebrow, and his friend punches him in the arm, lightly. “Ow!”

“I’m telling the truth,” Virgil rolls his eyes, pulling the blankets they’d retrieved from the trunk closer around the two of them. “You deserve a constellation. You deserve the universe.”

“Well, now we have to find you a constellation, too,” he muses, ignoring the heat in his cheeks (he seems to be blushing quite a lot lately, talking to Virgil) as he searches the sky. It takes a few minutes, and Virgil is half-asleep on his shoulder by the time he makes his choice, but finally Logan says “I found it.”

“Well, lemme see,” Virgil mumbles, opening his eyes.

He traces lines between a series of stars. “It’s a cloud,” he explains, “and a lightning bolt. Because you’re a thunderstorm, V.”

“Isn’t that a bad thing?” He’s biting his lip, suddenly subdued, and Logan feels a surge of guilt, because no one should ever make Virgil look like that, anxious and hurt and scared all at once.

“No,” he answers, fiercely enough that Virgil jumps slightly. “You’re wild, and chaotic, and occasionally a bit destructive, but you also make people feel alive. You bring rain to help things live, you bring the sound of a storm and the beauty of lightning, you simultaneously wake me up and help me sleep. You are beautiful, and inspiring, and so amazingly you, and the best friend I could ever ask for.”

“...And I thought I was the English major,” Virgil says quietly, and his face is bright red. “You have no right to be better at words than me, Sanders.”

“Well, Foley, I’m the astrophysics major, and you’re the one who started making constellations, so turnabout’s fair play,” Logan replies, and Virgil lets out a laugh at that.

Later, when the fries and milkshakes are both gone, they get back into the car and drive back to their dorms. For Logan’s birthday that year, a month or so later, Virgil presents him with a painting of the glasses constellation. He’d commissioned Remus, he explains, staring at his feet, and Logan tells him he loves it. For Virgil’s birthday, he gets a similar art piece from Roman, of the stars making a storm, and Virgil pulls him into a tight hug.

For now, though, the two of them simply sit and gaze into space.

–

Logan goes on a few dates with someone he meets at the coffee shop, named Andy. They become boyfriends. Virgil teases him about it whenever he brings it up, and eventually he stops talking about his partner to his best friend. The two of them start to pull apart, their friendship strained.

When Logan and Andy separate, Virgil is dating a girl he’s only met a few times, who shares Virgil’s English classes and wears colorful barrettes to hold back her curls.

He hadn’t even known Virgil liked her.

–

College passes by quickly. They graduate, and Logan tumbles into a job at a rather prestigious observatory. He lives in a small apartment in the city nearby, buys coffee from the Starbucks across the street every morning, settles into a routine.

Gradually, they all start to fall out of touch. It sucks, but things have been off between Virgil and him ever since Logan had dated Andy Michaels, and at the moment Logan sees his ex-boyfriend more than his ex-best friend. Their relationship had ended amicably, but still – he misses Virgil Foley, more than he’d ever like to admit.

A year or so later, Logan receives the invitation to Remy and Remus’ wedding.

It is in the fall, and Logan isn’t surprised in the least that they plan to have it in a forest, if only because he knows that the odds of Remus wanting the guests to jump into leap piles with him are absurdly high. At least they’re at an actual wedding site, so they can be inside if needed – Logan half expected, when he found out they’d gotten engaged, for them to drag a bunch of guests to a Starbucks for the event.

What does surprise Logan is the fact that Remus has apparently sent it early, because Logan is going to be one of the wedding party attendants.

He calls Remus and Remy that night, certain they’ve mixed up things, but Remy simply laughs. “Logan, you’re still one of our best friends,” he says. “Come on, please?”

“Besides,” Remus adds, “Virge will be one too, and Patton and Roman and Jan and Emile! You can’t break up the team!”

He ends up agreeing, and no matter how much Remy teases him about it later, it was not just to see Virgil again.

The wedding rolls around. Logan has managed to avoid speaking to Virgil for more than a friendly greeting and a bit of small talk through all the preparations the two of them had had to attend, but the they both arrive early on the day of, and Logan doesn’t know anybody else, and, well, he does miss Virgil.

“Hey,” he says. Virgil is nearly as tall as him in the heels he’s wearing (Logan had managed to opt out of them, convincing Remus to let him wear flats with his dress), and his green dress offsets his stormy eyes perfectly. Logan doesn’t think he looks nearly as good in the color, but he’d decided not to argue with Remy’s puppy-dog eyes. Besides, he much prefers the dress to the suits Emile and Patton had opted for.

“Hi, Logan,” Virgil replies. The tension in the air is palpable, and Logan hates it. “How’ve you been lately?”

“I’m good,” he answers.

“Oh, good,” nods Virgil. He’s gnawing at his lip again, and Logan can see the split in it even through the lipstick. “Me too.”

“I miss you,” Logan says suddenly, because he does. “You were my best friend, and I hate not being close, because you are one of the best things that ever happened to me.”

“...I miss you too.” He smooths his dress, looking out the window at the trees, and then laughs. “I’m surprised they didn’t have their wedding in a Starbucks, honestly.”

Logan can’t help but chuckle at that, especially when he spots Remy breezing past them, a coffee cup in hand and makeup only half-done, frantically trying to catch his little brothers and sister, whom he and Remus had appointed flower children. “I thought the same thing,” he admits.

It’s easy for the two of them to talk, after that, sharing jokes and telling stories and talking about their new lives. Logan feels oddly happy when he learns Virgil is single, and when he mentions how he’s looking for a roommate and Virgil remarks that he is too, it feels as natural as breathing to ask where he’s currently living. Finding out they live in the same city makes Logan feel strangely elated.

“Help!” Remus exclaims, skidding to a stop in front of them, collapsing into Virgil’s arms and only barely being caught. “I’ve lost my husband-to-be!”

“Alright, please calm down,” Logan says, exchanging exasperated looks with Virgil, who pulls Remus back to his feet. “Have you actually lost Remy, or are you just being overly dramatic?”

“He has been stolen from me,” Remus whines. “We were kissing, and then he was dragged away by my evil brother!”

“By any chance, was he dragged away to prepare for your wedding? The event we’re attending, so you two can get married? The one that most guests are expected to arrive for in fifteen minutes?” Virgil crosses his arms over his chest, eyes narrowed.

Remus’ eyes widen. “Fifteen minutes?” he asks, checking Logan’s watch, and groans. “Oh, drumsticks. Drumsticks torn right off a chicken. Bloody chicken legs everywhere.”

He darts off, and Logan and Virgil sigh simultaneously.

“We should go help, shouldn’t we?” Virgil asks, and Logan nods reluctantly. “Well, it was great to talk to you.”

“It was pleasant to speak with you, as well,” he agrees.

As he turns to go find Patton, Virgil grabs his arm. “Hey, L, save me a dance, okay?”

They do indeed dance together that night, after they watch Remy and Remus get married among the colorful leaves, and talk, and laugh, and by the end of the wedding they are good friends again.

Virgil and Logan move in together by the end of November.

–

They become surprisingly domestic, the two of them, moving into their large apartment that is close to both Logan’s job at the observatory and Virgil’s work at a publishing company. He’s not surprised Virgil has become an editor (he was always the best at it, when they exchanged essays to review), but he is rather impressed when he notes some of the books in Virgil’s room have his full name on the cover. “I write poetry, mostly,” he explains when Logan asks. “It’s… I used to use it like therapy, I guess, and I got some of it published. I’m not famous or anything.”

“That’s amazing,” Logan says sincerely.

The poetry becomes important, later, but then, it is simply something for Logan to admire, another flash of beautiful lightning in Virgil’s storm.

Saturdays become movie nights, and they order junk food and make popcorn and watch documentaries or horror movies or cartoons together. Occasionally, some of their friends will join them, and every so often, all eight of them cram into Logan and Virgil’s living room. Despite his love for the others, however, Logan’s favorite nights are usually the ones when the two of them are alone, when they curl up together on the couch and make fun of trashy films or contribute their own knowledge to documentaries or sing along quietly to Disney. It is peaceful and lovely and utterly perfect.

Logan doesn’t mean to fall in love with Virgil. It sneaks up on him, mornings of coffee for him and tea for Virgil and memes shared over breakfast, afternoons texting each other with reminders to get groceries and news from the office, nights of cooking together and dancing to the radio.

One day, when both of them have work off, Virgil pulls him out of bed, waits impatiently while Logan gets dressed, and drags him outside into a storm. They walk through the park together, enjoying the rain on their skin, both of them jumping into puddles and belting the title number of Singing in the Rain and getting utterly soaked.

They return home for cocoa, each taking a warm shower and then sitting together on the couch to watch old movies with small white krakens bobbing in their cups. It is then, with Virgil curled up against him, wet hair soaking Logan’s neck and the smell of hot chocolate in the air, that Logan realizes he loves a thunderstorm in human form.

His best friend.

Oh, god, Logan is in love with his best friend. And also his roommate. And also his favorite person in the whole of the universe.

Logan tries to get over his crush (and there’s no other word for it, as juvenile as it sounds). He really does. But it’s so hard, now that he knows it exists, especially when he has to see Virgil every single day. And he can’t just cut himself off, or leave their apartment, because that might ruin their friendship, and that’s the whole reason he’s trying to escape his feelings, because he loves being Virgil’s friend more than anything.

So he exists in this inbetween state, thrashing in the eyewall of a storm, so close to safety and danger simultaneously, trapped in chaos and uncertainty.

Logan isn’t quite sure whether he really wants to return to the eye, blissful quiet and the peace of oblivion, or if he can at all. But he thinks entering the storm itself, the danger of telling Virgil how he feels, the potential for a life with him, is equally impossible.

Eventually he decides that it is best to just ignore his rebellious feelings. It works, sort of – Virgil doesn’t seem to notice anything different, and Logan gets to keep his best friend. Still, every moment together is tinged with a sort of bittersweet sadness, the dancing in the kitchen and cuddling on the couch and meals together a harsh reminder that they are just friends.

He’s not sure exactly how his other friends figure it out, but they do, judging from how Remy and Janus tell him exasperatedly that he really ought to say something to Virgil, how Patton and Roman tell him how cute they would be together, how Remus does his best to shove Logan towards Virgil at any opportunity, how Emile tells him pointedly that repressing his feelings isn’t exactly healthy. Logan does decide that he’ll confess… eventually.

The problem with eventually, however, is how ambiguous it is. The others have realized as much, evidently, but they don’t force Logan to say something, or tell Virgil themselves, and he appreciates that.

It is a Saturday when eventually finally comes, a peaceful movie night interrupted by a phone call with Roman’s name flashing on the screen. He holds up a finger over his lips as he accepts the call, grimacing apologetically to Virgil as he steps into his own room. “What do you want?” he asks exasperatedly when he picks it up, and winces as the other line fills with noise.

“Logan, have you read Virgil’s latest book?” Roman practically screams, and in the background Logan can hear Patton squealing with excitement as Janus shushes them both.

He frowns, closing the door to his bedroom. “I wasn’t aware he’d been working on one.” Normally, Logan knows whenever Virgil is working on another collection of his poetry – he’s often the first person Virgil hands it to for editing.

“Get on your computer this instant, Pocket Protector,” says Roman, and Logan can hear his grin.

A quick search confirms it; a new book of poetry, just released by Virgil Foley. The revelation is almost painful (does Virgil not trust him anymore? Not like him?) until Janus’ voice comes over the line, hir voice sarcastic and concerned altogether.

“Way to go, love, he’s definitely not overthinking this,” ze sigh. “Logan, listen to me. I need you to go look at some of the reviews for the book, okay? Actually, no, if you can find a sample online, go read that.”

He’s operating in a haze, a robot in human flesh, and what do robots do but obey orders?

Logan barely understands what he’s reading at first, lines of poetry in the sample flashing past him. He checks the reviews, words of praise and admiration flowing through his mind, and it takes a second before he understands any of it.

Clicking back to the online sample, he starts to recognize the story being told. It is a tale of late nights and hot drinks in the morning, of pining and fear of destroying a friendship older than love.

It is Logan’s story, told through another’s words, a voice speaking of a scholar of the stars, of glasses and storms, of hugs and hand-holding and a cute barista, a boy in psych class, a friendship repaired at another’s wedding, of admiration and hope and love. A love for someone seen not as a storm, but as stars, as the universe in human flesh.

Virgil is in love.

Virgil is in love with Logan.

“I’ll call you back,” he hears himself say, and drops his phone on his bed in his haste to get back to the living room.

“Logan?” Virgil’s voice pierce the haze of his thoughts, his eyes

(a storm, wild beauty)

shining with concern, and he sits up from where he’s lying on the couch. “You okay? What happened?”

There are many things he wants to say, questions and explanations and promises, but in the end, all he says is “Can I kiss you?”

“What?” He doesn’t expect Virgil to look quite so flustered, but then again, Logan did just storm into the room, looking desperate and probably a tad deranged, and ask to kiss his best friend.

“Roman told me about the new book,” Logan says first, and Virgil’s eyes widen even further, and he can sense the incoming apology, but he isn’t done, not yet. He begins to crack his knuckles, a habit he’d thought he’d finally lost, full to the brim with nervous energy. “I’ve read some of it, and as far as I can tell, you are romantically attracted to me. Which is good, because I also harbor such feelings for you, and have for about a year now. So. Can I kiss you?”

“Isn’t it ‘May I kiss you’?” Virgil grins, playing off his feelings with humor, as always. Logan opens his mouth to apologize as his world comes crashing down, because oh, he’s messed up, oh no, but then his best friend’s expression softens, and he whispers “Of course, Logan Sanders.”

“Thank you, Virgil Foley,” he says, and abandons the eyewall for the storm.

They don’t watch any more movies that night. The two of them kiss, and talk, and kiss some more, and Virgil grabs his author’s edition of the new book from his room, and they read it together on the couch.

The next morning, they sit with their coffee and tea and talk some more, about labels and boundaries and dreams. Their friends come over for movies the next Saturday, and Virgil and Logan hold hands as they tell them they are dating.

(Roman choking on the popcorn in his excitement almost makes up for the money Logan spots being exchanged between Emile, Remus, and Patton.)

Eventually, Virgil’s latest book will gain fame, and they will end up with quite a bit of money between the two of them, especially after Logan gets a promotion. Eventually, they will move to a larger house, one a bit outside the city, one where they will have two cats and a dog and a son named Thomas. Eventually, they will get married in the spring, and when it starts to rain as they say their vows, the two of them just laugh.

But that is eventually. In the now, Logan Sanders is in love. In the now, Virgil Foley is in love.

They are glasses and hoodies, poetry written and spoken, dancing in the kitchen and cuddles on the couch.

They are thunderstorms, and they are stars.

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abused-sides · 3 years

Note

Ooh, I was looking at the prompt list, and thinking about a bunch of different ones, but it gave me an idea. Going back to the Roomates AU, what if Roman and Virgil got into a really bad fight, and Virgil was in the wrong, and he thinks everyone is super super mad at him, so he thinks he has to leave, and he talks to his ex about going back, because he thinks he deserves to be in a bad situation, but Roman finds out and he explains that being wrong sometimes doesnt make Virgil a bad person?

A/N: For context, this takes place before Virgil and Roman get together romantically, but while they’re getting closer. Also before Logan comes out as nonbinary, so he still uses he/him.

A/N: Also, super sorry, but this prompt is changed up a tiny bit. The fight is concentrated with Virgil and Patton (although Roman was definitely involved, prequel later), and it’s actually… someone else who gives Virgil the Talk.

Trigger warnings: ABUSE SURVIVOR AU, self-destructive/self-harm behavior (not violent), manipulation & gaslighting from an unsympathetic oc, fighting between the sides (resolved), past lashing out, minor panic attacks

Virgil had been locked up in his room for days.

His roommates argued over what to do. Logan insisted he just needed some space to decompress and think the situation over, but Roman and Patton couldn’t stop worrying.

“What if he hurts himself?” Patton asked.

“What if he thinks we hate him?” Roman asked.

“He’s going to come out when he’s ready.” Logan sighed and took their dirty plates away to the sink. “There’s nothing we can do right now. We can’t talk to him if he won’t even open the door.”

Patton pulled his coffee mug closer and worried his lip between his teeth. “I guess so,” he mumbled.

In his room, Virgil stared at the pile of letters Patton had hid from him for three months. They were all opened, but not by Virgil. Virgil hadn’t touched them since he dumped them on his desk a few days ago.

How did he find me?

He drew in a shaky breath and grabbed the first envelope.

My dear Virgil,

I’m at a loss for words. What could I have done that was so bad for you to leave, without even telling me? Didn’t I at least deserve that?

Guilt churned in Virgil’s stomach. He had to leave without telling him, his ex wouldn’t let him go otherwise. Right? He wouldn’t have let Virgil go.

My home— our home, will always be here, waiting for you. You can always come home. I won’t be mad. I promise.

I won’t lie, I’m very sad. It’s been hard to go on. The house is quiet without you. And the fact that you’d leave it for where you are now? I can’t even pretend to understand.

If this is what you really want, then you should do it.

But don’t I at least deserve a goodbye?

It was signed with his name.

Virgil had already read this one, several months back when it first came in. It didn’t have the same impact it did before, not with everyone else’s words swimming in his head, proving his ex wrong. It still hurt.

He picked up another letter.

My dear Virgil,

Do I not deserve a response?

I hate to make you uncomfortable. It’s why I don’t show up at your door, like I could, and demand your attention.

I’m always thinking about you. Are you thinking about me? Do you want to come home?

You can come home.

Another.

My dear Virgil,

Something is telling me you aren’t getting these letters. Even if I wasn’t granted a response, I’d at least see a reaction.

Virgil’s stomach dropped. A reaction?

Are your roommates protecting you? Isn’t that a little unfair, a little rude? To meddle with our relationship? We can solve this on our own.

Don’t you want to come home?

He flipped the envelope over. There was no stamp, only a return address. These were hand-delivered. Virgil might have thrown up.

He thought back to his life before. The one thing that always got him was how dreadfully boring it was, the same thing over and over again, no end, never leaving. He had his plants and his sketchbook and his cooking, but that was all.

But is boring really the biggest complaint he has?

A lot of people go through worse. Roman— Roman went through worse. Roman had a reason to leave. Virgil was starting to think he didn’t.

Another letter.

My dear Virgil,

I just wanted to remind you that I still love you. I won’t be angry if you decide to come home. I just want to take you back and lie you down in bed, wrap myself around you like I used to. If you come home, we can lay in bed and watch T.V. all day. We’ll order in. I’ll buy you a whole garden, if you want it.

I’m willing to change.

Don’t you want to come home?

Virgil hated how it affected him. He fought back a smile, pressing the letter to his forehead and simultaneously trying to remember and forget.

There weren’t many days like his ex described. They were rare, in fact. Did that just make them more special? Not many days where they cuddled under the blankets, the heater going as the snow fell outside. Not many days where Virgil didn’t have to cook, where they ordered from his favourite restaurant and ate in bed. Not many days his ex wrapped his arms around Virgil’s middle and pulled him close and murmured that he loved him.

With Roman, that could be any day. Multiple times a week, sometimes. Did that make it less special?

He didn’t want to leave Roman. But did he deserve Roman?

E.,

Do you really want me back?

His hands trembled as he wrote. Once he started, he found he had a lot to say. Some of it felt demanding, but if he was going to go back, there had to be some change, or he’d lose his mind. He didn’t ask for much. Barely anything, in fact. Some more days to eat in here, some days outside there. His own bank account. Maybe a day where he could borrow the car.

It could be better, right? No more than he deserved, but better.

He wondered if being with E. for so long, only really interacting with him, is what rubbed off on Virgil, or if he was like this from the start. Did it come from his parents? Did it come from him? Was it just him?

Virgil hid the letter and came out of his room.

“Virgil?” Roman jumped to his feet, but stayed at the kitchen table. His eyes were wide with worry. “Virgil, are you okay?”

“I’m okay,” he promised softly. “Where are the others?”

“Logan’s with Remus and Janus. Patton’s dropping off some orders.” He hesitated, drumming his fingers over the table. “Do you…?” He opened his arms.

Virgil pursed his lips. He wanted desperately to fall into his boyfriend’s arms, but his stomach churned with guilt. He crossed the room to nuzzle into him, trying to ignore how bad he felt by rationalizing he would be gone soon.

Something crinkled. He froze. Roman’s arms were around his waist, squeezing against the letter tucked in his waistband around his back. He waited.

“We need to talk about what happened,” Roman said, and Virgil slowly relaxed.

He pulled away. “Okay.”

Roman cupped Virgil’s face. “We’ll wait until Patton gets back, okay?”

Virgil nodded.

Roman and Virgil sat in the living room together, watching movies while they waited for Patton. Roman sat on the couch with Virgil at his feet, working in his sketchbook. Roman eventually leaned forward to rub Virgil’s back. Virgil pressed his forehead to his knees, eyes fluttering shut.

When Patton got home, his eyes widened. “Verge, hey!” He set his keys on the table and inched into the living room. “Are you feeling okay?”

Virgil hesitated, and shrugged. “We need to talk, right?”

Patton settled in the armchair nearby. “I think it would help.”

They all hesitated, then Patton said, “I’ll start. I’m… I’m really sorry I hid the letters. I was really scared.”

Virgil frowned. “Why?”

“Well…” He avoided his eyes. “I didn’t want to upset you.”

Virgil’s chest squeezed. “Right. I- I’m sorry about that.”

“And I didn’t want you to be, I don’t know… tempted?” Patton forced a smile and wiped his eyes. “But you’re stronger than that, I know.”

Virgil frowned. His brain faltered a little, and he opened his mouth to speak, but couldn’t find the words.

They must have mistaken his struggling for silence, because Roman said, “We understand why that happened,” he squeezed Virgil’s shoulders, “but we need to make sure that doesn’t happen again.”

“It won’t,” Virgil promised instantly. “It won’t, I promise.”

Patton and Roman looked at each other nervously.

“That’s good, kiddo, but how do we know?”

“Trust me.” Virgil blinked back tears, his voice thick. “It won’t. I won’t let it.”

“That’s not really how it works, stormcloud. You didn’t choose to lash out, so you can’t really choose not to. It happened because of something else.”

Virgil stood on shaky legs. “Please trust me. I… I’m working on it. I’m working on something.”

Patton and Roman stood as well. “Can we help?” Patton asked. “You don’t have to do this alone, Verge. It’s why we’re here.”

Virgil shook his head. “No, I don’t need help. I— I need a walk. I’m sorry, I need… I just need some space.”

“Okay,” Roman said softly. “Thanks for talking to us.”

Virgil quickly kissed Roman’s cheek, then grabbed his coat and hurried out the door.

Part of him was terrified of walking alone— What if E. came by and snatched him without warning? All his stuff was at home and his friends would never know what happened to him.

But it was good to get some space to breathe. He walked to the post office and slipped his letter in the box, then took the long way home.

A few days later, he got a response.

He made a habit to check the mail himself, three times a day. Everyone assumed he had a bit of trust issues now, which wasn’t entirely wrong.

My dear Virgil,

It took you a while to get back to me.

Virgil frowned, shifting uncomfortably.

I was afraid you’d given up on me. Of course you’re still allowed back home. When can I pick you up?

Virgil breathed shakily.

They wrote back and forth over the next two weeks, negotiating pick up, travel, times— Virgil didn’t realize he was stalling. He kept wondering if it would be better to tell his friends or keep it to himself. He didn’t want to worry them. He didn’t want them to feel guilty, and obligated to stop him. He just wanted to quietly go and not bother them anymore. Not infect them anymore.

That is what he wanted, right?

One day, he came out to get the mail and frowned. The box was empty. At this point, he’d been getting a letter from E. every day. They weren’t exactly slowing down with their communication— they’d just agreed Virgil would meet him in a few days. E. was excited.

A door creaked open. “Virgil?”

Janus leaned in the doorway of his and Remus’ apartment, a letter between two fingers. “We need to talk.”

Virgil paled. He felt like he was going to pass out.

“Come on. Remus is at work, let’s talk.”

Virgil hesitated, then reluctantly followed him into the apartment. Janus shut the door and handed Virgil the letter.

My dearest Virgil,

I’m so excited to see you again. I promise, you’ll be happy. I’ve already made some changes to the house that I think you’ll really like. And we can keep talking about the car thing, too, if you really must.

Virgil smiled a little.

He gasped as Janus snatched the letter back. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” He hissed.

Virgil shrunk in on himself. “I… I have to go back, you don’t understand.”

“What, because you blew up, once? Because someone invaded your privacy? Something you just got back after three years of nothing?” Janus crossed his arms over his chest. “You have to go back? Have to?”

He scrubbed at his eyes, collapsing into the desk chair. “Yes. I— I fucked up. I’m just going to keep hurting them—”

“People hurt each other,” Janus snapped. “That’s what they do. You didn’t do it on purpose, did you?”

“I didn’t even realize what I was doing,” Virgil whispered. “I just… got mad. And I couldn’t stop yelling, and…” Tears dripped down his face. “I couldn’t control it. I can’t— I can’t be like that, I can’t put them through that again.”

Janus crouched down and forced Virgil to meet his eyes. “You are not a bad person,” he stressed. “You just got out, what, a year ago? Less? It’s not like you’ve got a weekly therapy appointment. You’re figuring this out on your own, it’s going to be hard.”

“Stop making excuses for me,” Virgil begged. “I can’t explode on people like that!”

“You can’t make a habit of exploding on people.” Janus sighed, elbows on his knees. “You made a mistake. Nobody wants to banish you for it. Sometimes people hurt each other. Fuck, Roman and Remus hurt each other twice a week— that’s a toxic relationship. But they’re working on it. That’s all you have to do. This?” He held up the crumpled letter, and spat, “This will not help anything.”

“I deserve—”

“Nobody deserves that.” Janus narrowed his eyes. “Nobody.”

Virgil buried his face in his hands as he shook with sobs. Janus stood and rested a hand on his shoulder. He stayed silent while Virgil cried it out, eventually finding Janus’ hand and gripping onto it for stability.

“What do I do?”

“First things first, you need to tell your roommates about this.”

“What?” Virgil’s head snapped up. “No! I—”

“You’re clearly in a destructive head space, and I can’t stop you from self-sabotaging yourself every time.” Janus raised an eyebrow. “This was almost bad. They need to know.”

Virgil sniffled. “I don’t— I can’t.”

“I’ll go with you. Alright? You need to tell them, and I’ll help you.” He held out his other hand. When Virgil took it, Janus helped him up. “Come on. Let’s go tell them.”

Virgil wanted to throw up. He wet his lips, and nodded. “Okay. Okay. I can do it.”

He followed Janus out.

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