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inkskinned · 1 year

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one of the things that i think we should pay attention to, socially, about the disney v. desantis thing is that it is really highlighting the importance of remembering nuance.

in a purely neutral sense, if you engage in something problematic, that does not mean you are necessarily agreeing with what makes it problematic. and i am worried that we have become... so afraid of any form of nuance.

disney isn't my friend, they're a corporate monopoly that bastardized copyright laws for their own benefit, ruin the environment, and abuse their workers (... and many other things). this isn't a hypothetical for me - i grew up in florida. i also worked for the actual Walt Disney World; like, in the parks. i am keenly aware of the ways they hurt people, because they hurt me. i fully believe that part of the reason florida is so conservative is because it's been an "open secret" for years now that disney lobbies the government to keep minimum wage down, and i know they worked hard to keep the parks unmasked and open during the worst parts of Covid. they purposefully keep their employees in poverty. they are in part responsible for the way the floridian government works.

desantis is still, by a margin that is frankly daunting, way worse. the alternative here isn't just "republicans win", it's actual fascism.

in a case like this, where the alternative is to allow actual fascism into united states legislation - where, if desantis wins, there are huge and legal ramifications - it's tempting to minimize the harm disney is also doing, because... well, it's not fascism. but disney isn't the good guy, either, which means republicans are having a field day asking activists oh, so you think their treatment of their employees is okay?

we have been trained there is a right answer. you're right! you're in the good group, and you're winning at having an opinion.

except i have the Internet Prophecy that in 2-3 months, even left-wing people will be ripping apart activists for having "taken disney's side". aren't i an anti-capitalist? aren't i pro-union? aren't i one of the good ones? removed from context and nuance (that in this particular situation i am forced to side with disney, until an other option reveals itself), my act of being like "i hope they have goofy rip his throat out onstage, shaking his lifeless body like a dog toy" - how quickly does that seem like i actually do support disney?

and what about you! at home, reading this. are you experiencing the Thought Crime of... actually liking some of the things disney has made? your memories of days at the parks, or of good movies, or of your favorite show growing up. maybe you are also evil, if you ever enjoyed anything, ever, at all.

to some degree, the binary idealization/vilification of individual motive and meaning already exists in the desantis case. i have seen people saying not to go to the disney pride events because they're cash grabs (they are). i've seen people saying you have to go because they're a way to protest. there isn't a lot of internet understanding of nuance. instead it's just "good show of support" or "evil bootlicking."

this binary understanding is how you can become radicalized. when we fear nuance and disorder, we're allowing ourselves the safety of assuming that the world must exist in binary - good or bad, problematic or "not" problematic. and unfortunately, bigots want you to see the world in this binary ideal. they want you to get mad at me because "disney is taking a risk for our community but you won't sing their praises" and they want me to get mad at you for not respecting the legit personal trauma that disney forced me through.

in a grander scheme outside of disney: what happens is a horrific splintering within activist groups. we bicker with each other about minimal-harm minimal-impact ideologies, like which depiction of bisexuality is the most-true. we gratuitously analyze the personal lives of activists for any sign they might be "problematic". we get spooked because someone was in a dog collar at pride. we wring our hands about setting an empty shopping mall on fire. we tell each other what words we may identify ourselves by. we get fuckin steven universe disk horse when in reality it is a waste of our collective time.

the bigots want you to spend all your time focusing on how pristine and pretty you and your interests are. they want us at each other's throats instead of hand in hand. they want to say see? nothing is ever fucking good enough for these people.

and they want their followers to think in binary as well - a binary that's much easier to follow. see, in our spaces, we attack each other over "proper" behavior. but in bigoted groups? they attack outwards. they have someone they hate, and it is us. they hate you, specifically, and you are why they have problems - not the other people in their group. and that's a part of how they fucking keep winning.

some of the things that are beloved to you have a backbone in something terrible. the music industry is a wasteland. the publishing industry is a bastion of white supremacy. video games run off of unpaid labor and abuse.

the point of activism was always to bring to light that abuse and try to stop it from happening, not to condemn those who engage in the content that comes from those industries. "there is no ethical consumption under late capitalism" also applies to media. your childhood (and maybe current!) love of the little mermaid isn't something you should now flinch from, worried you'll be a "disney adult". wanting the music industry to change for the better does not require that you reject all popular music until that change occurs. you can acknowledge the harm something might cause - and celebrate the love that it has brought into your life.

we must detach an acknowledgment of nuance from a sense of shame and disgust. we must. punishing individual people for their harmless passions is not doing good work. encouraging more thoughtful, empathetic consumption does not mean people should feel ashamed of their basic human capacities and desires. it should never have even been about the individual when the corporation is so obviously the actual evil. this sense that we must live in shame and dread of our personal nuances - it just makes people bitter and hopeless. do you have any idea how scared i am to post this? to just acknowledge the idea of nuance? that i might like something nuanced, and engage in it joyfully? and, at the same time, that i'm brutally aware of the harm that they're doing?

"so what do i do?" ... well, often there isn't a right answer. i mean in this case, i hope mickey chops off ron's head and then does a little giggle. but truth be told, often our opinions on nuanced subjects will differ. you might be able to engage in things that i can't because the nuance doesn't sit right with me. i might think taylor swift is a great performer and a lot of fun, and you might be like "raquel, the jet fuel emissions". we are both correct; neither of us have any actual sway in this. and i think it's important to remember that - the actual scope of individual responsibility. like, i also love going to the parks. Thunder Mountain is so fun. you (just a person) are not responsible for the harm that Disney (the billion dollar corporation) caused me. i don't know. i think it's possible to both enjoy your memories and interrogate the current state of their employment policies.

there is no right way to interrogate or engage with nuance - i just hope you embrace it readily.

#does this make sense #to do be deleted probably yikes #(takes a swing at a wasp's nest)#like i think ppl have started to just be really quiet when they like something 'problematic'#and im like... u can be like -#girl tswift NEEDS to just TAKE A BUS . LIKE?????????????????????#while also being like.#''she's a lot of fun''#if ur personal policy is that u don't support her for that reason that's great #but it's like. eating meat???#like yeah some people won't bc the environment. but the fact i eat meat doesn't mean i hate the earth #like i can say that i think the meat industry is HORRIFIC and also downright cruel to its employees #but like. still enjoy a chicken nugget....#there are people who choose otherwise. it's okay . we are people. i make like no money. u probably don't either #us fighting about whether or not it's Right To Eat The Chicken Tender just distracts from like.#actually turning your ire on the corporation #i hope it's clear what i'm saying here is like. when we fight each other for Purity Reasons #we are just doing the work of corporations . for free. like they WANT us to be doing this lol #it's the fucking DREAM of the upperclass that now ALL forms of responsibility fall on the individual

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zecoritheweirdone · 15 days

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hehehehehhooo,, decided to draw some hermits as the mystery skulls animated gang!! why? uhhh mostly just 'cause.

special thanks to the ibaaf server for helping me pick the roles! gem is vivi,, false is arthur,, pearl is lewis,, and etho is mystery!!

better pic of pearl under the cut, where you can how lazy i am,,ms ksmsksjs

#my art #hermitcraft #mystery skulls animated #falsesymmetry #geminitay #ethoslab #pearlescentmoon #falsesymmetry fanart #geminitay fanart #ethoslab fanart #pearlecentmoon fanart #this wasn't supposed to have this much effort put into it. and then it took five hours.#chose etho's role first cuz i really like the kitsune etho headcanon #(yes his collar has a maple leaf on it)#and the lil deadbeats are a bunch of lil tillys!!#we also gave roles to some of the other characters. bdubs is shiromori and cub is reverb/???/possession guy #sorry guys; you're antagonists now 😔#actually i don't think cub would mind this #also i refuse to think any harder about what bdubs being shiromori means. they're both plants okay.#it was either this or joel #or that one sock monster guy from season six #joe and cleo are duet and chloe respectively. joe as duet fits. cleo as chloe does not but also no one else really fits chloe anyway so idc #no more wanting an undead boyfriend.... THEY are the undead boyfriend now.#i think we had uncle lance as iskall??? still not too sure #they both have beards tho. that's something #oh!! also rendog is galaham bc i said so.#anyway. please watch msa it's so so good.#(or watch hermitcraft if you haven't already. a new season started a while back it's the perfect time to join)#not sure if i'll draw more of this;; this is less an au and more just me being silly #but i hope y'all like it regardless!!

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jemmo · 3 months

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Making sense of love for love's sake: the game

Despite all the things i absolutely adore about how the plot unravels and expands in love by love's sake, upon first watch, there's some things i couldn't piece together, which @lurkingshan echoes in their post:

'The way the author was messing with Myungha and forcing cruel choices on him really does not track with a desire to help him find happiness.'

And to preface, this is not something i fully get yet either. I think i'll need a good month and a sizeable reading list of relevant resources to understand just what/who this author/sunbae is and what his role is and how he is associated with myungha. But as always with the best shows for meta (aka bad buddy), as a plot unfolds, you can always find a better understanding by looking backwards and re-contextualising what you've already seen. so i watched ep 1, specifically the scene between myungha and his sunbae at the bar. And i will talk about how everything said in this scene has a whole new meaning now we know the full story, but for now i wanna focus on that question that they keep coming back to; "Then... will you change it for him?".

When you watch the show for the first time, your brain follows the simplest, most obvious version of the story you're being told, one where myungha has been pulled into the world of his sunbae's novel that's being turned into a game and given the opportunity to fix the thing he didn't like about it; making yeowoon happy, and thus you just think the rules of the game are imposed by the author, and so when these cruel choices first come up, you see them as the difficult roadblocks that are nevertheless necessary to any kind of game, forcing the player to make an impossible choice so that the game can continue in a certain direction and its only after that you learn whether it was the right choice or not, or there is no right choice, it simply changes the game you are playing.

And when its revealed what this game actually is, at first i tried to interpret these cruel choices, namely the choice between yeonwoon and myungha's grandma, and at best i could come up with the concept of this being a choice between staying stuck to the past aka choosing his grandma, even though he knows that choice doesn't mean she's safe bc he knows the future where he loses here, its an inevitability, but thats the small happiness he knew before it was taken away and thus that happiness is known and safe, theres no risk, versus choosing to pursue a new happiness, a love of yeowoon and thus himself, which he doesn't know, he hasn't experienced yet, and could be risky. Its a happiness that isn't guaranteed like his grandma, but its a happiness that looks to the future and has hope in it that he can find a new happiness to pursue despite what has happened in his past.

And that fits nice, okayish. But then i watched ep 1 and heard that question "Then... will you change it for him?" And watching through the rest of the eps, we come back to this scene at the bar and each time we get a new run up to the author asking this question, either new dialogue is added or we hear a different piece of the conversation entirely. It starts at the beginning of ep 1 as:

"Because Cha Yeowoon is the only one who's miserable." "It can't be helped that some people's lives are like that" "The fact that some people are destined to live that kind of life is what's vile."

Then a bit later in ep 1 we go back and its expanded.

"It can't be helped that some people's lives are like that" "The fact that some people are destined to live that kind of life is what's vile." "Why? Do you think you'd write it differently?" "Yes, definately. Someone like Cha Yeowoon, or someone like me with an awful life, can also be happy."

And then all the way on in ep 6, we get this new dialogue.

"I don't like talking about destiny." "Why?" "Because it means everything is predestined." "Then do you not believe in fate?" "Fate and destiny are the same. My grandma likes to say that. She said life is like a written book, and how you'll live and die are written in it. (...)I don't like things like this. Even if fate is already destined, I think it can still be changed. Otherwise, there's no point in trying." "Really? Then Myungha..."

And while we don't hear the author ask the same question, I feel like him getting cut off like that insinuates that the conversation leads to that same ending point. All that is to say, every time we hear this question being asked, its like we learn more and more about what this whole thing is, what the game is, what myungha is saying he will do by agreeing to do what the author asks. And every time, we see myungha being more defiant against the idea of yeowoon being resigned to his miserable ending. He starts off thinking that kind of life is destined, and while it's miserable, its not something he can fight. Then he says he'd want to write the story differently, bc yeowoon, or even him, could be happy. He challenges the idea that yeowoon, and thus himself, is fated to be miserable, and opens up the possibility for happiness for them both, but doesn't yet have the means or resolve to do it, its like he knows its possible on a fundamental level, but doesn't see it as something he can actually achieve. But then we circle back to the idea of destiny and books, both of which came up in the previous quote, and seems incredibly pertinent seen as this whole thing is about a novel this author has written. Myungha talks about how he hates the idea that life is a book where everything written is predestined to happen, from the moment you live to the moment you die. He says "Even if fate is already destined, I think it can still be changed. Otherwise, there's no point in trying." That vile way of life he described before that he said was destined, he is now saying it can be changed, and that possibility is now something he's holding onto, its what he sees hope in so that he can keep trying, bc now he finally is trying, he has the resolve, he's trying to realise this thing, this impossibility of rewriting the life he thought was destined through the way he loves yeowoon.

And coming back to those cruel choices, given this fresh context, it made me think. bc this isn't actually a game that myungha has been put into where the rules are dictated by an author completely separate from him. He said himself, he'd rewrite it, he'd change things for yeowoon. And when you start to think of it less as him fighting against a rigid, removed system and more like him being a character in a story he is trying to rewrite himself, that has both the author and his own limitations, or just his own if you're in the school of thought that the author is some figment or part of myungha himself or his conciousness, then you can start to see where these cruel choices might come from. They could be myungha, the author making edits to this new story, imposing his own doubts and limitations on himself. When he says he has to pick between Yeowoon and his grandma, what if that's the new author myungha seeing this story unfold and thinking no this isn't right, he can't have it all, i'm not deserving of this much happiness.

And what makes me like this idea even more is that when we get that second choice between ending after 14 days or getting 100 days back at the cost of resetting Yeowoon's affection to 0, that whole conversation happens in what I think the bar actually is which is this frozen moment in time where myungha is in the water with this extension of a voice in his head that is talking through these things. That conversation in itself needs its own post, but when you look at it both as a decision to break up or not or a decision to hold onto life or not, you can see how the author is just this soundboard relaying the decisions myungha is going through in his head. The author's voice is his own, weighing up his decisions. And if he is the author here, it only reinforces that the person making the rules of this game is him. You can even extend it further to the idea of the debuffs, where he puts in place this thing that makes it so he causes harm to yeowoon when he's around, and its only by garnering affection that he can prevent it. He gives himself a reason from the get go to stay away from yeowoon and reason it as him doing it for yeowoon's safety, when in fact the only way to make yeowoon safe is to increase his affection, which he can only do by being near him. Its a system that at first gives myungha a reason to stay away aka not like himself, but ultimately says the only way you're going to make yeowoon like you, or the only way you can like yourself, is if you accept risk. And that in itself screams to me of a myungha writing in these game systems that are trying to encourage his own-self love while falling at the hurdle of his own lack of self-worth.

The idea is still messy in my head even for me, but i just really like the idea that myungha could be trying to fix this thing both as a character and game master, and that both these versions of him have these flaws that manifest in their different ways to cause the events we see. It kinda is the definition of being your own worst enemy, the idea that in order to work towards loving yourself, the biggest obstacle you have to encounter is yourself, bc we are the ones holding ourselves back, making all these rules that make it harder to like ourselves and pursue our own happiness. The voices in our head telling us that we aren't good enough and aren't deserving are our own, and while the things that happen to us can inform what they say, we're the one's reinforcing those words. And what this show teaches us is that, if we're the one holding that pen all along, we can choose to change what those words are. If we make the rules, you don't have to create a game with concrete ultimatums, you can create a game where rules don't control you. Instead, you make the decisions, and you can make the ones that make you happy.

#wow look at me writing actual kinda thought out meta #also something something about how the pen being in his pocket wasnt a pen given to him by the author its a pen that was his the whole time #look even if this isnt the right interpretation as intended by the author i just kinda adore this headcanon ive come up with and i cant wai #to rewatch the show again through this lens and see if it holds up #i just adore the idea of this whole thing being this manifestation of a flawed doubtful person trying to navigate through their own messy #nonsensical thoughts to find their own happiness #bc yes thats what triggered me thinking of this whole thing. me seeing that post and thinking yeah that doesnt make sense7 #but then again when you tell yourself things an put your own mental blocks in the way they dont make sense either but you still have to fin #the ways to work around them in order to find happiness #like those things dont go away we just find the loopholes or the ways to overcome them that mean we can be happy #the game is your own mind - deal with your own existential crisis as you wish #anyway this is only part 1 in what i hope will be a very extensive meta analysis of this show - stay tuned #love for love's sake

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hamofjustice · 9 months

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nemona feels like an obscure blorbo instead of the main rival character from the latest pokemon game because to get to her really good content from people who really get it, you first have to wade through the ocean of yandere pervert obsessive stalker annoying punchable bimbo amazon goddess interpretations of...

... a neurodivergent and possibly disabled high schooler who's desperately trying to make any friends or get any support from her rich neglectful family - while everyone in her school is jealous of their own imagined version of a privileged asshole version of her they made up - who deeply and platonically loves and supports the one new kid who agreed to take the time to get to know and respect her and her special interest without having to hold back her true self

unlike her, it's not great!

kinda feels like she has the same problem in our world that she does in hers.

#(except much hornier)#i hate to say it but i think her skin color has something to do with it #nemona pokemon #nemona #pokemon sv #pokemon scarvio #pokemon scarlet and violet #pokemon #nemonaposting #dog girl and goku memes are fine i guess #i legitimately cannot google her without a video of someone being cruel to her on purpose and making her visibly sad coming up #i don't think people like that really browse these tags but i hope they're not the reason she was not in the dlc footage at all #and thus may never get more screen time to actually be her best friend's 'rival for life' as promised before the 3 year cycle marches on #you know the dlc about nemona's best friend and 'greatest treasure' transferring to a school about the hardcore battles she's dying without #potentially abandoning her and sending her back to almost square one on having a reason to enjoy life #don't get me started yelling about that again #also i didn't mean platonically in a don't ship them kind of way you should absolutely do that if it lines up with your interpretations #i usually do in fact #just trying to emphasize the contrast between canon and fanart here #opinions of her already start off so low faith just because she's from the 10 fps pokemon game and i'll be real i wish she wasn't #i wish she and her friends were somewhere i could trust that they would be treated respectfully by their copyright holders

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namu-the-orca · 5 months

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Early 2018 I made daily drawings for a little while. Photo studies scribbled in the edge of my notebook, with a short something about the day. I wasn't in the best of places back then. A few days ago I came across that notebook again. I still love those drawings so I wanted to share some with you. Perhaps they can mean something to you too.

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transmechanicus · 4 days

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Really fucked up that two ppl can care about each other and make their best efforts to communicate and still end up hurting each other so badly they cannot stand to be in the same room.

#my stuff #i feel soooo bad talking to my therapist about the same topics over multiple weeks #like i feel like they're sooo sick of it like damn can this bitch get Over It alreadyyyy #hi yes actually can we talk about the near catastrophic sense of betrayal and loss that has haunted my soul for over a month?#can we talk about how I overcompensate for other's possible feelings and emotions to desperately mask my terror at feeling out of control #can we talk about how even when I know ppl acted with logical reasons necessary for their situation it still hurt me?#and that this pain fills me up with so much anger and frustration that I'm powerless to put anywhere that won't hurt someone #so it just cooks me inside and makes me grind my teeth constantly for weeks #im so angry i did not deserve to be treated like this it's not fair and I have no capacity to fix it or control when it feels better #i just have to survive and wait until i forget about it and hope they don't decide to reach out and fuck it all up #cause i can see that happening #i'll finally be free of thinking about them and generally going about my day unbothered and they'll ask to get coffee or something #and I have no idea what I should do in that scenario. because I don't think we can be friends.#and you have not treated me with the compassion and warmth I treated you #i would want to say mean things. hurtful things. I would want to bite back for once.#and that's not me. that's not who I want to be.#i don't wanna see you. go away. don't talk to me if you're not going to make the pain go away.

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bitchthefuck1 · 2 months

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Rewatching succession it really is wild to see Kendall and Shiv convince themselves over and over again that they can "fix ATN/Waystar from the inside" only to completely abandon their morals the minute it gives them a strategic advantage.

When they're on the outside it's an endless diatribe about how evil and rotten the company is to its core, but the second they get the slightest whiff of power they suddenly decide the problems are actually really manageable and that with the right leadership it could be a force for good, and like...the saddest part is that they genuinely seem to believe that.

#where's that crime and punishment quote about how the worst thing is that you've betrayed yourself for nothing...#and they really seem to think its true! they genuinely believe that they can turn it around and make it good! it's not an act!#kendall really thinks he's a feminist and 'one of the good ones' and shiv really does think she stands with/for women and liberal #ideals and the truth is that no matter how much they might care about those things they will always love power more and they #are infinitely more invested in the power structures that keep injustice alive than they are in actually trying to stop injustice #roman is the only one who's actually aware and honest about how fucked it all is but he thinks that means everything's bullshit and #therefore nothing matters. which can be just as dangerous as convincing yourself you're the good guy (see: america decides)#that's one of the things i like so much about the ending for shiv and kendall bc they're finally forced to confront the lies they've been #telling themselves. and like. maybe that'll go nowhere. maybe they won't change. but they might. and the only hope they have #of actually growing as people and maybe doing something good is if that illusion gets shattered #idk man i just have so many thoughts about succession #succession #shiv roy #kendall roy

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aukiq · 10 months

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Deltarune Prediction: Possible upcoming members of the Fun Gang in future chapters

The files of deltarune have two specific naming schemes for dialogue portaits.

If the character is a member of the main cast (Which I'm defining as any major ally who visits a dark world), their dialogue portraits are labeled "spr_face_[character's first initial]". For example, all of Susie's dialogue portraits are labeled "spr_face_s", all of Noelle's are labeled "spr_face_n", and all of Ralsei's are labeled "spr_face_r".

The other characters who follow this pattern are Lancer, Berdly, and Toriel (Who will presumably be very important in chapter 3).

For other characters, full names tend to be used. Asgore's portraits are labeled "spr_face_asgore", Burgerpants' are "spr_face_burgerpants", Sans' are "spr_face_sans", etc.

It's worth mentioning that despite being very important to the story, characters like King and Queen who are primarily antagonists fall into this category. It's not necessarily an indicator of importance, but rather seems to be one of whether the character is a part of the Fun Gang (the group as a whole, not just the playable Fun Gang characters).

There are three characters who seem to break this scheme. Jockington interestingly doesn't fall into either category, having his portraits abbreviated as "spr_face_jock". He's the one character to have an only-partially abbreviated name. You could pass it off as Toby simply shortening a long name, but Burgerpants' name is even longer and that's written out in full. Whether this means he'll have a major role in future chapters is unclear.

More significantly, Catti (not Catty) has dialogue portaits labeled "spr_face_c". Other than Toriel, who will definitely have a big role in chapter 3, Catti is the ONLY up-until-now-side-character with just her first initial used in the portrait naming. This is pretty damning evidence that she'll be a main character in the future.

It's worth noting that in Susie's chapter 1 sprites her eyes are covered by her hair. Jockington's eyes are similarly covered by sunglasses, and while Catti's aren't hidden, she does have pretty intense eyeliner. It might not mean anything, but all of the major characters with the exception of Noelle seem to have a pretty consistent "eye" theme. (Even with Noelle, you could argue that her eyes going blank while she uses Snowgrave and the shadows cast over them after using it fits.)

The third character is honestly kind of a long shot, but it's important to point out. I'm sure most of you have seen this unused MS Paint Ralsei portrait:

What many of you might not know is that it actually isn't labeled like the other ralsei sprites. The filename is "spr_smallface_a2".

"a". not "r".

This goddamn image might be our first look at deltarune universe Asriel.

The fact that its "a2" implies that there were two other "smallface" Asriel portraits that were for whatever reason removed from the files.

Full Character Categorization

Current/Future Fun Gang Members (first initial used)

Susie (spr_face_s)

Ralsei (spr_face_r)

Lancer (spr_face_l)

Noelle (spr_face_n)

Berdly (spr_face_b)

Toriel (spr_face_t)

Catti (spr_face_c)

Asriel (spr_smallface_a)

Other Characters (first names)

Sans (spr_face_sans)

Asgore (spr_face_asgore)

Catty (spr_face_catty)

Bratty (spr_face_bratty)

Burgerpants (spr_face_burgerpants)

Rouxls Kaard (spr_face_rurus) - "rurus" is the Japanese translation of his first name.

Undyne (spr_face_undyne)

Rudy (spr_face_rudy_ch1) - Interestingly, Rudy is the only character who doesn't have non-ch1 sprites. Even Catti, who doesn't have any actual new sprites between chapter 1 and 2, has two duplicate sets of files (spr_face_c_ch1 and spr_face_c). It's almost definitely just a tiny little oversight, but I may as well mention it.

King (spr_face_king)

Queen (spr_face_queen)

Alphys (spr_alphysface) - weird break in naming pattern but still not abbreviated

Jockington

Jockington (spr_face_jock)

Final Comments

Please let me know if I missed anything. Also keep in mind this is all very much a theory, and kind of a questionable one at that. While I'm personally pretty convinced about Catti in particular, it's all kind of up in the air—I just noticed an interesting pattern and wanted to share it.

#deltarune theory #deltarune #toby fox #catti deltarune #jockington #asriel #sorry this is so long #i hope this isn't just my deltarune brainrot taking over and this all actually means something???? maybe????#this goddamn game is the only thing keeping me going istg

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icewindandboringhorror · 1 year

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Just curious what the average level of personal investment in these sorts of things is. Like, how much do people usually get into silly stuff like this their friends ask of them? etc. etc. Which I know, only surveying a small sample on a very specific website means I'm not getting an exact average idea lol, but.. curious nonetheless .. Maybe reblog for bigger sample size but also this is not very serious at all/not worth a call to action gbhjbhjb

#which I know this could be context dependent like.. maybe you'd normally dress up but on a week that #you feel sick you wouldn't or etc. etc. - but I mean.. GENERALLY. in the most general average scenario #where you have the average amount of health and free time that you always do. etc. just based on your personality #and level of investment in these things - what on AVERAGE are you most inclined to do #also of course assume they communicate with you ahead of time and are not like planning a part last minute #like 'throw together costume in 5 hours and show up tonight randomly' or etc. I would hope that if we're going with the #AVERAGE of things - most people's friends have better communication skills than springing entire parties #on people last minute lol #assume you have like.. a few days-a week or so to prepare. however ealrly people usually start talking about #birthdays. In my experience it's usually one or two weeks ahead of time. Like 'oh next weekend' or 'oh two weeks from now' etc.#ANYWAY.. feeling a little Sick again of course but still trying to get some photos or something posted #AGAIN i promise I am not going to exlcusively post polls and ntohing else forever hgkjgnekj #I just really really love the ability to post polls and have always my whole life been obsessed with surveying people #I used to think I wanted to do that as a career somehow like.. be one of the people that does psychological interviews #or produce interview asessments for a company or etc. etc. I am always the one friend in the group thats giving out custom made #surveys or asking for other simialr stuff (did you ever take an mbti quiz? how about enneagra #m?? oh yeah I know they're not really scientifically valid or antyhing but like... DID you take them?? huh?? did you??please?? ghjj)#I simply cannot resist.. posting a little poll every once in a while.. as a treat #whilst I still fall behind on like actual content and costumes and stuff gbjhbjh #New poll adventure should be not as much of a wait as the last one was though since I already have the writing #for it really. I just have to do the ms paint sketch. hopefully no unexpected other health issues will get in the way #*** *** ***#< (anytime I do these three star patterns it is an ocd compulsion not me bleeping out words or something just ignore it lol)#(it means something secret in my evil brain just pretend you do not see it. significant only to me)#BUT YEAH.. ... poll... what type of costume party atendee are you?#:0c

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sciderman · 22 days

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I swear I have read your big post regarding Peter Parker's neurodivergence and why it is best to avoid labelling him, but he definitely has a weird brain

Can't find it and feel kinda sad about it cuz I deeply related to it

i know exactly which post you're talking about and i can't find it either! i've raked through my archive, and it's just - nowhere to be seen. i think tumblr eated it (it happens.)

really, tumblr's search functionality is so so useless, i don't know what to tell you. there are plenty of keywords i can search to find it that post, but the search functionality actually just does not work!

undiagnosed audhd-addled peter parker, my darling, my light, my life, my everything.

i think peter parker's such an interesting creature to write, because a lot of people will point to a certain behaviour about him and say "this is an autistic thing, right?" but a lot of those behaviours are actually, in my head, tied to certain traumas in peter's life too.

people say "oh, the food thing, peter's a picky eater because he's autistic" and yes, absolutely. but also it's tied to his trauma with his parents.

peter gets overstimulated, and yes, it's an autism thing, but also he was bitten by a radioactive spider and his senses are dialled to 11.

it's a similar case i've found for myself, too – where a lot of friends i have kind of diagnose me because i have autistic traits, but actually - i'm hesitant to claim the label or pursue diagnosis because, actually, i know where these certain behaviours come from, and they come from certain traumas. there are events i can pinpoint in my life and say "yep. that's where this behaviour comes from."

so - i think there's a lot of overlap between trauma and autistic traits. the brain is very complex! i think the reason for that overlap is maybe as simple as the fact that people with autism and people with trauma are both doing the same thing - developing behaviours to protect themselves or soothe themselves. so - i think it's nice to be able to see a character like peter parker, who may or may not be autistic, but recognise behaviours in him and see yourself in him.

people who go undiagnosed for whatever reason - people who are really good at masking - so good, in fact, that they have no idea they might be on the spectrum - everyone and anyone at all can look at peter parker and recognise themselves. because i think we discredit the thought that every single brain does the same thing! develops certain behaviours in order to survive. every brain has that same software - we've just all been faced with different hardships that we need to overcome, and that's were all the differences come in.

autism is a spectrum, i guess - everyone falls into it to some degree. and i think events in your life probably push you along on it. but i don't know, i didn't study brain science. probably what i'm saying is very stupid and uninformed. of course there's brain chemistry involved. but i know people in my life living with autism and certain events in their life have exacerbated certain behaviours or made coping with it a lot more difficult. so maybe trauma is a catalyst.

#a lot of my traits have been exacerbated lately and i remember it was much easier for me before #and some of my friends have said “oh it's because you've been masking too long and now you're facing autistic burnout.”#and that made sense to me i think.#but then i found out about the stress thing. me overproducing stress hormone. and that's a very physical thing.#and that explains why i've been overstimulated more than usual lately. and why everything feels like too much.#and i wonder how many of these traits of mine are going to subside once i have lamar removed #and it makes me wonder a lot of things. and it's so weird how much your brain is tied to your biology.#i wonder how much i'll change. i wonder how i'll feel. i wonder if i'll still feel like me. i wonder how much me is me right now.#and how much of me is being altered by weird freaky hormones. who am i?? who will i be??#i'm almost looking at this as like. a superhero origin story of some sort. like this is my spider-bite moment. maybe.#will i be different? will i cope with things differently?? now that my body isn't fighting something anymore??#maybe i'll be normal. i don't know. i don't know.#i don't know what it'll mean for me.#but all of these things mean i relate to peter parker in a certain kind of way #i don't think you have to be diagnosed with autism to recognise and empathise with those traits i think #i think everyone can see themselves in peter. and i think that's the benefit of having characters that aren't diagnosed.#because there's so much overlap in the human experience. and certain feelings aren't exclusive to just one group of people.#peter has such a rich identity actually. it's an autistic thing. it's a queer thing. it's a jewish thing. it's a trauma thing.#there are so many overlapping parts of peter's identity that inform who he is and how he behaves and it's never just one thing.#it's a product of all of his things.#just like me! just like everyone.#so me? i guess i can be a million things. you can explain what i am in a million different ways.#a hundred different psychologists can all come up with different ways to explain why i be the way i be.#i don't think it's something that can be simplified.#sorry wow. i'm really going off here in the tags.#i hope people don't think i'm stupid. i don't know brain science. i'm just philosophising as usual.#sci speaks

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quatregats · 5 months

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There’s been a lot of (very excellent!) discussion recently about Brigid and Stephen and how much she’s loved, and I feel like that’s a very good segue into a topic which I’ve been musing over for a while: namely, Patrick O’Brian’s treatment of love in general. Because honestly I feel like one of the things that’s most captivated me about the Aubreyad in general is the sheer amount of love it contains, the vast majority of which is (canonically, at least) non-romantic, and I think that the further I get into the series, the more that strikes me.

Like honestly I cannot even begin to explain how incredibly good POB is at portraying loving relationships, whether they’re friendships, marriages, or parents and children (/surrogate parent and child, as the case may be). I’m actually genuinely not sure if I’ve ever read something like it. I think that a lot of media really struggles with platonic relationships, which is a question that probably deserves a 400-page thesis about it and that I’m not really qualified to answer, but the Aubreyad somehow manages to create relationships that are all so imbued with love that it genuinely does not matter whether or not the people in them are in love or not. While I’m certainly here for reading Stephen and Jack as a romantic relationship, there’s a certain point where I actually don’t care whether or not they’re friends or lovers, because the complexities of what they feel for each other and what they mean in each other’s lives is just as deep either way. And all the relationships in the book are like that: Bonden and the Surprises looking after Stephen, Jack with Mowett and Pullings, Stephen and Sophie, and on and on into infinity.

I think the thing that makes me the most insane about this is that these relationships all feel so unbelievably, viscerally real. The love that’s stored there is the same sort of love that I feel for the people in my own life, with all the inevitable disagreements and exasperation and imperfection that it comes with. I think it’s incredibly difficult to capture that exact feeling in writing, and yet somehow he’s managed to do it. There’s been so much talk about the way in which people in our day and age and media in general struggle to talk about friendship and platonic relationships as meaningful, and I’m not saying that just any writer could go out and weave a tapestry so complex as the Aubreyad does, but reading these books is like a balm for that. There’s something so reassuring in knowing that a romantic relationship is not the be-all-end-all for any of the characters in these books, no matter how you look at it. Each of them is surrounded by a web of people who are deeply implicated in their existence and who truly care what happens to them.

I think fiction, by its nature of needing to bring characters in to serve a role in a linear plot, doesn’t often leave room for love of this kind, and I don't want to be critical of that, because not all narratives can be like the one Patrick O'Brian's written (which is 100% okay—it should be that way, that's how narratives work!). But there’s something so healing about reading a story in which all of the characters are so deeply loved. It’s like a mirror; looking into it, you can see your own relationships, and by extension, just how loved you are, even if most of the time you don’t realize it. Humans are not lonely creatures, and no one captures that better than Patrick O’Brian.

#it's just. god #love is stored in the aubreyad that's all good night #i don't think i've ever read anything that compares to it and i don't know if i ever will #but yeah. sometimes realism means relationships that mean something actually. get loved idiot #struggled a bit to frame this in a way that did not say 'just friendship' because as much as i hate that mentality #the world that i live in has very much ingrained it and i do have to work to undo that #hope it came across successfully that all these friendships and all friendships are on the same level as romantic relationships actually #aubreyad #perce rambles

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