#i just listened to it and basically its about a long distance relationship | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

yeosbbm · 7 months

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Mine, All Mine

starring: idol! seonghwa x long distance gf! fem reader

genre: straight up smut, established relationship, possessiveness

summary: basically seonghwas been on tour and you finally see him and y’all SMASH !

warnings: barely any plot or dialogue, seonghwa is possessive, indirect dom - sub dynamic, breeding, face sitting, unprotected piv + riding, breast play, slight overstim

A/N: Something short and sweet also I opened up my request and ask question thing so if y’all have anything you’d like to ask/ask for y’all can go ahead and use it, also I might do a social/face reveal

You and Seonghwa haven’t seen each other in so long. So long being…three weeks. There are couples that go months apart even YEARS, but you know you weren’t the strongest soldier.

Since he’s been on tour you two have facetimed as often as possible, texting whenever you have the time to, send each other cute/funny vids you two like to cheer each other up about the separation. But there’s needs you two have that can only be resolved in person.

Physically…emotionally….sexually…I mean come on you two can only have phone sex for so many times.

However luckily…..you got a plane ticket to their next destination. As well as their managers agreeing with you tagging along as long as you don’t make a scene or attention to yourself whilst with them.

You joined the group with a team dinner at a restaurant. Sat next to Seonghwa you listen in and occasionally bring your own two cents into the conversation. However, there’s a problem in the mix. Seonghwa is already feeling so possessive and in need of your attention since it’s been so long, but Wooyoung and San haven’t made it better.

“You look absolutely gorgeous tonight by the way (y/n).” San says staring at your dress.

“Thank you San I appreciate it, Hwa bought me this dress.” You reply smiling at Seonghwa.

Wooyoung’s gaze is caught on your figure as well but he shifts his eyes to everyone else so he isn’t caught ogling.. “Yea she looks good enough to eat doesn’t she.”

Hongjoong steps on his foot under the table. “Manners Wooyoung.”

Wooyoung bites his lip avoiding yelping at the pain. “Yea my bad just got a little carried away.” He says strained.

San unfortunately adds fuel to the fire. “Just a shame you got to her first Seonghwa.”

Seonghwa gives a pained smile and sucks his teeth before his grip on your thigh tightens. Uh oh. While the guys are back chattering to each other about something he leans into your ear. “You really do look good enough to eat…wait till we get to the Hotel.”

You squeeze your thighs together and harshly swallow at his words. Despite what just left his mouth..Seonghwa is all smiles and giggling at the table.

————————

After dinner, the group was doing a YouTube live in Hongjoong’s hotel room. Well, minus Seonghwa. The boys were talking about the performance as well as the sight seeing they’ve been doing during this time.

Then they notice the comments questioning Hwa’s absence.

Hongjoong adjusts his glasses before saying “Ooh concerning Seonghwa….we all went to a restaurant with our staff and he told us he didn’t feel well after eating so he’s currently resting in his hotel room.”

Yunho chimes in “Wish a speedy recovery for Seonghwa please !”

Little do they know….Seonghwa was really having you sit on his face. Making you press all your weight onto him, not letting you lift your hips up in the slightest.

His tongue made its way back in forth on your slit. Starting with it circling and lightly dipping into your drenched entrance while his tongue trails its way to your clit…flicking and rubbing the tip of his tongue right on your pearl. His arms are wrapped around your thighs holding you in place.

“So sweet for me baby…” He mumbles against your folds before fully bring his tongue into your hole. Rolling and waving it inside. This makes you tense in pleasure, your hips attempting to lift up to ease the intensity but his grip keeps it from happening. He needs to see you squirm more, he goes back to your clit and sucks and slurps at it with no mercy. Mindlessly you’re grinding across his mouth. “Hwa I’m so close..fuck please please please.”

You don’t know exactly what you’re pleading for knowing he won’t deny your release. Or maybe you were just pleading for the release itself “Cum for me…cover my face with it..make a mess .” You rock on his tongue quickly before your legs spasm. Moaning and letting out signs of relief. Naturally…your hips rise up…but to your surprise Seonghwa brings you right back down.

You gasp in shock feeling Hwa wriggle his tongue across your cunt again. Slightly nodding his head to add to the stimulation. “‘S so much Hwa.”

He smiles against your cunt before tongue fucking you. Soon he takes his thumb and relentlessly toys with your clit. You’re shaking, your abdomen tense. Seonghwa is just staring intently as you fall apart. Your hips try to lift but he’s pressing you farther into his mouth. You cum again,,legs now jelly,,,cunt throbbing especially with Seonghwa lightly licking the last bits of arousal you left behind for him. You’re minds in a haze, a stuck dumb state until you feel Seonghwa scoot up under you..

You can feel the hot oozing tip of his cock rub against your already sensitive heat. You rock your hips again, needing him to satiate the final bit of aroused ache residing in you. “Let me get a condom baby…unless you want it raw..” The thought of him fucking you raw has you both hungry for more. He already knows.

“You want me to stuff you full of me don’t you…” You need him now..he needs you just as much. “Please…please stuff me full.” He moans before fucking up into you, he lets you ride him as much as you please. “Get off on me, use me.” You’re bouncing up and down his dick chasing your own high. Seonghwa just as much,,, while he reaches up to grope your breast and teasing your nipples. But you can only ride for so long, soon he can feel you slow down losing your own energy to go up and down. “You need some help hm baby ?” You nod. He holds on and starts bucking his hips up into you. The impact of you two’s hips has you seeing stars. “So fucking pretty so mine…”

You can feel him bully his cock into you. He trails a hand up touching the marks he left on you earlier…sweet red and purple blotches. You’re so his. You’re consumed by him. “You’re mine…this pussy is mine..Fuck. Fuck. Your hearts mine.” You’re lost in ecstasy and the feeling of his cock filling you to the brim. “All yours..all….yours Hwa.” He smiles…proud that only he can see you like this and make you feel like this. “Nobody else can even get close to this….” You can feel your next orgasm building up in your stomach. “Only you..it’s only you.” He can feel his cock twitch, he’s on the same verge of cumming as you are. “Cum on my dick..let go so I can fuck my cum into you.”

You and him both whine and moan during your releases. You can feel his cum filling you up. Moments later he pulls out and his cum slowly making its way out until he lazily takes his fingers and fucks it deeper into you. You’re in subspace or something like it. Mind in a complete quiet state.

Seonghwa takes you into the hotel bathtub. He helps you wash up with the faintly fragrant hotel soap and dry off. He sits you on his hotel bed and helps you put on your sweet smelling lotion he loves and adores. Carefully rubbing it into your skin and massaging where you might be sore in the morning.

He helps you fix your hair while kissing your forehead..He lays in bed with you holding you close until you fall asleep. Once you finally drift off,, he heads to the bathroom to take his own shower that’s when he realizes a text from Hongjoong.

“Did you two forget I’m in the room next door you sick damn perverts.”

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sundaycentric · 6 months

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JING YUAN AND NEUV!!!!!

(I too am down horrendous for them)

(seperate) neuvillette & jing yuan x reader

content ★ headcanons, NOT PROOF READ!!, sfw, fluff

note ★ SO REAL!! i love them both sm its unreal.. anyways im just going to do some basic headcanons and drabbles bc im abt to go to a dance and i need something quick to post.. other requesters i am working on your stuff!!

NEUVILLETTE ★

He has no idea what it's like to be in a relationship. He has no experience whatsoever, besides for the in occasional movies Lady Furina will force him to watch with her.

Neuvillette isn't that dumb to take the movies as reality, though. So, he ends up just being a mess.

Before you start dating, Neuvillette will try to his best to hide his feelings. He often times pushes you away, but the sky darkens not soon after. He feels torn.

Neuvillette doesn't even understand his own emotions. He can barely process what he feels, let alone name it. He's confused and worried. He thinks it's love, but what if he isn't? He's never felt love to know what it's like.

It'd take some time for him to start working through his feelings. However, he still keeps his distance. He tries not to make it obvious he is avoiding you, but someone sees through him easily.

It doesn't take long for Lady Furina to find out what's happening, especially considering how observant she is to drama. She'll pester Neuvillette about it a bit, laughing at his reactions. Neuvillette tries to appear indifferent, but the sky's definitely different from what it was before.

For all her teasing, Lady Furina does genuinely care about Neuvillette (and you). She will offer some advice to Neuvillette, even though her experience in romance is just as limited as his. At least Lady Furina can work out her emotions, though.

Gradually, Neuvillette accepts your presence and allows him to take pleasure in it. A month ago, he was doing everything to stay out of your way, but now is he practically near you every time he can be.

He tries not to talk to you too much, though. He gets flustered. Although you might not be able to see it on his face, you might notice the sky becoming brighter—way brighter than normal when you talk to him.

He will never confess first. Well, unless he felt like he had to to avoid loosing you. Other that that scenario, though, he will keep quiet until you say something

Once you do say something and confess your feelings to him, Neuvillette will be so happy. His face might be a little smile, but there is no rain for entire week and lot's of people are getting sunburnt..

He will try his best to keep you happy. Neuvillette is very big on communication since he doesn't always understand what you feel. He does try though.

Neuvillette still doesn't talk much about himself. Instead, he prefers to listen to you. Even the small, mundane things you did during your day put a smile on his face.

Overall, he is very kind and considerate. Maybe even too much. He's scared of hurting you or pushing you away because of how he is. That hasn't happened yet, though. :)

JING YUAN ★

He definitely knows what he is doing. He's had some experience in the past, both watching and doing. Although, it is different when it comes to you.

Jing Yuan took interest in you. He was curious. Why? He doesn't know himself. He just likes you presence. You remind him of his finches, maybe even lion sometimes.

He learns as much as he can about you without being seen as creepy. He'll pay attention attention to you at events or when he is in public. When he catches you staring at him, he feels warm.

Eventually, he begins to come up to you. Jing Yuan prefers to take things slow, and really wants to come up with some sort of strategy to win your heart. It's a bit hard, though. He doesn't want to manipulate you, you aren't his enemy.

Jing Yuan tries to keep things in his control, both so he can spend as much time with you possible and just because he likes it. He will pay for your lunches, buy you things you like, pay for your trips. Jing Yuan has enough money, and he is willing to spend it all if you ask for it.

He'll slowly try to become closer with you. He doesn't want to push you away. After all, Jing Yuan has all the time in the world to wait for you. He only hopes you'll actually go to him.

Jing Yuan seems more unfocused at work now. He is usually not paying attention anyways (as he is sleeping), but it's becoming a bit worse now. Lady Fu catches on quick and reprimands him.

Jing Yuan, in his tired state, tries to excuse himself before Lady Fu gets angrier. He ends up slipping and saying your name. The two of them stare at each other before Fu Xuan starts scolding him again.

Fu Xuan is mad at Jing Yuan, yes, but she cannot deny that she cares about Jing Yuan. So, she might peek into the future to see if the two of you are together. She refuses to tell Jing Yuan what she sees, but she smiles as soon as he leaves.

Jing Yuan may be first to confess. He is fine with either. In the case that he confesses, he'll laugh at the way your face lights up. If you confess first, he'll find it funny how you seem a bit unsure of yourself.

He will reassure you with a kiss on the cheek before telling you that he loves you. Jing Yuan will hug you tightly while he sleeps and take care of anything you need.

He is like a teddy bear. :)

He is attentive, and he always knows what you're feeling. He might tease you sometimes, but he is ultimately very sweet and protective over you.

Yanqing definitely looks up to you as another parental figure. Good luck with that.

Overall, very nice to sleep on. He'll take care of everything he can for you and treat you like a precious gem.

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fragilecapric0rnn · 11 months

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[series now cross-posted to ao3! stay tuned for more! ] Have been watching a lot FRIENDS lately bc its one of my and my gf's comfort shows and, of course, i cannot stop thinking about Stranger Things-ifying the hell out of it. the vision came to me SO CLEARLY [PART 2]

Sitting around the coffee shop that is basically a second home to the gang.

Nancy sits on the chair across from Argyle, one leg tucked under her, legal pad balancing on the arm, a pen being held between her pointer and middle finger, tapping incessantly on the pad. The other hand tucked into a fist and holding up her chin.

Argyle sits with his legs draped over the arm of the oversized chair, flipping through the latest Steven King book, one arm perched behind his head.

Jonathan has the NYT crossword in his lap, Robin peering over his shoulder, making him nervous.

A normal Saturday afternoon routine for the group of twentysomethings. The rain from outside softly hits the windows nearby, complimenting the soft chatter and gentle clanking of dishes.

But Robin can only seem to focus on Nancy's damn tapping.

"Nance?"

"Hm?"

"I'm gonna need you to stop tapping. I'm trying to beat Jonathan's puzzle."

"Just take it," he hands the paper over to her, annoyed.

"No! It's more fun when it feels like I'm beating you."

Jonathan looks over at Nancy, who is staring blankly at the wooden support beam a few feet away.

"What's going on Nance?"

"Nothing." Her pitch high, grabbing the rest of the groups attention, so much so that they all inch closer to her chair.

"Sounds like a whole lotta nothing," Argyle pulls a nearby chair up next to hers flipping it around and resting his forearms on the back of it.

Robin sits on the ground next to her and Jonathan takes a seat on the coffee table right in front of her.

"Fine!" She takes a look over her shoulder, toward the front door. "I have a date."

"Why are we whispering?" Argyle asks, also whispering.

"Because you know who could walk in any second."

"Why are we whispering and speaking in codes?" Jonathan asks, still whispering.

And as an act of divine timing, the front door to the coffee shop opens, and they all turn their heads to see a slightly damp Eddie shake his hair out and shed his leather jacket in one fell swoop. His face fixed in the same frown that's plagued his face for the last two weeks.

"Hey," the group says in unison, not moving a muscle from where they're still crowded around Nancy.

"What did I say about that tone," Eddie whines, flopping himself down on the couch that previously held Jon and Robin.

"How're you doing?" Robin asks, shifting her body, still sitting on the floor, toward him.

"All of her stuff is gone which means that all of my stuff is gone."

No one says a thing. Not even when the sound of a ceramic coffee cup shatters somewhere in the distance.

"Eddie?"

"What?"

"I don't mean to sound insensitive dude, but shouldn't you be a little less depressed considering... " Argyle trails off.

"Considering what?"

"Considering you're the one that left her?" Robin finishes the thought that everyone is having.

"I didn't leave her." He scoffs.

"No, but when you tell your long-term girlfriend about recently discovering that you're gay, one might see that as you being the one to end that relationship."

"We've been over this." He balls up his jacket and shoves his face into the wet leather. The group share a look, Nancy gesturing to Eddie's state as if to say this is why I'm not talking about the date.

He chucks the balled up jacket at Jonathan, who kicks his feet out in surprise as he catches it with his chest. Eddie's hands are now on either side of his face.

"The love was there! I could've loved her if..."

"If she was someone else?"

He deflates, lets his arms slump down and his shoulders do the same.

"Eddie, my friend, my pal, listen up." Argyle moves seats for the third time, now squeezing himself into the space between Eddie and the arm rest on the couch, draping his arm over his shoulders.

"You have just entered a whole new world, my man. So, you're gay? We're in New York City, so is everyone! Welcome home! All that love you were ready to give to Michelle? You get to hold onto that and give it to someone else. Someone who makes your heart sing."

"But I knew her just as long as I knew you guys." He whines, again, gesturing to Robin, Nancy and Jonathan. "It was easy. It was safe. How am I ever gonna find romance with someone? Where we have an established - I don't know - thing! A connection! A history! How?"

Eddie stares at them like he expects them to answer, forcing the rest of the group to share glances, let the air settle with Eddie's words.

The front door flies open just as a roaring thunder booms overhead, making for a dramatic entrance.

Robin's the first one to swivel her head toward the ruckus, the only one who has a perfect view of the person who burst into the shop.

A man dressed in a tux, drenched, like, just hopped out of a swimming pool drenched. Fighting with his bow tie with one hand and running his other hand through the unforgettable head of hair that sends Robin right back to Hawkins, Indiana. Back to the summer before her senior year.

Huh?

Unable to move a muscle in her body, she watches him clumsily go up to the counter and ask for her and Nancy, by name. The sound of her name sends her up to her feet and pushes her toward the man. An air of chaos surrounds him, drawing an offense amount of curiosity out of Robin as she finds her words.

"Steve Harrington?"

He turns around, his face lights up, and he does the weirdest thing.

He hugs her.

She remains stiff as he pulls back from the hug, hands still on either side of her arms.

They were buddies that summer scooping ice cream at the mall. Nothing crazy, or maybe even that memorable, but they started the summer as acquaintances at best and left as friends.

But then he left for college and she stayed and they never spoke again. A few run-ins here and there. But nothing substantial.

"I knew I'd find you here, I remembered that the last time I was in the city I ran into you guys and you're here!" He sounds drunk, but also like he drank a vat of espresso.

Clearly, it was substantial enough for him to come looking for her. Dressed in a tux soaking wet?

"And you're here, overdressed." She says, taking him in, unable to unscrew the confused look from her face.

Is that a boutonnières?

Oh no. Oh fuck.

"Steve?" Jonathan and Nancy say in unison as Robin brings him over to the couch.

Robin thinks Eddie might have summoned the ghost of hopeless high school crushes past, the way Eddie looks like he's just seen a ghost.

#FRIENDS au #sorry for the typos!#did like no editing. seriously just typed and posted.#i tweaked the characters a bit so it wouldn't be an obvious 1-1 AU but Steve is obvs Rachel and Eddie is obvs Ross #idk if this will become anything more but!!! maybe???#this was just supposed to be a writing sprint #i swear i meant to only write vibes #it somehow turned into this????#sen writes #stranger things fic #my fic #steddie ficlet #ronance as chandler and monica slow burn endgame also bounces around my brain as i finish these tags #argyle is clearly phoebe To Me

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lazyveran · 7 days

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Oh lazyveran the fire squad is HORRENDOUS!!!! I love it. Please, elaborate on Azula's particular role in and thoughts on this awful little smorgasboard. Does she feel conflicted about how Katara is changing the dynamics? Dies she even register anything changing? Whats her relationship like with Zuko in this au. What does a day in the life of the squad look like and what does it look like to Katara, who isnt steeped in decades of intricate rituals. Please

genuinely gives me such joy to make them so awful. terribly terribly nepo babies that will ruin ur life. long rambles below cut hehe

SO! azula is. well she doesnt think there's much wrong with it. i mean, on an intellectual, psycho-analysis level she knows ty lee is a insane, mai is also insane and her brother is [redacted]. but ultimately she doesnt see anything wrong with any of their dynamics because she has LITERALLY no one else as reference. the insane social isolation azula went thru as a child soldier and ozai's fav little nuclear bomb means its difficult for her to parse out toxic or harmful relationships she may have and ultimately, use and utility comes first in any relationship. the fire squad are simultaneously her most trusted confidants, her closest companions, people she'd entrust with her life and legacy and the weight of her father's, and later iroh's, missions to AND assets to be used, strings to be pulled, and loose ends to be monitored. plus she wants to gossip with them. shes the princess, it's her agni given right to bitch and moan abt the peasants!

azula's mindset is all layers of fucked, basically. im aiming for a vibe in which azula herself has no idea how she really approaches and feels for her friends. its emotionally complicated, azula is horrendeous at understanding that kinda thing. the fact that she's so hyperaware of her position as royalty means she locks herself desperately into that role and doesn't allow herself to go beyond it. that implies a distance between her friends she halfheartedly attempts to keep. but the bottom line is that she's insanely loyal because they invest that back into her. azula's a woman who values devotion above all else. she's desperate for it. You Have To Stay. Everyone Else She Loved Has Left Her. STAY. FOREVER. to do so will be to assist and witness her eternal glory and the shining legacy she will deliver to the nation. she will elevate them to the greatest heights, reward their loyalty tenfold!!! JUST STAY. DONT LEAVE HER. NOT LIKE THE DEAD ONES AND THE GONE ONES-

(also, azula is narrow minded in a sense. she understands people implicitly but believes her own personal goals are the Ultimate Ones. everyone wants power, glory, legacy and the love of a nation. they have to, right? why else would she strive to achieve them, if it's not the perfect pinnacle of all human endeavour? she wants to reward her most trusted friends with what she percieves is the ultimate prize in life, so does so from this weird half distance as a princess. shes really weird. her love language is probably acts of service (and all she knows how to do is kill))

azula and katara's relationship is awfully complicated. for a start, azula presumes domination within the relationship. it's sort of something azula just. takes for herself. as her nature, and because katara isnt initially someone she wants to dig her claws in to force them to Stay. she fully expects that she will simply have some new woman near her sometimes and she'll get on with Important Work with the besties. then katara KICKS HER ASS, FORCES her to look and see katara as someone equal, someone worth respecting and listening to. ultimately she does come to respect katara, and that unknowingly starts to change her. as in, azula gets bullied into it. repeatedly. and getting frostbite that one time. and in her draw towards katara, azula begins drifting from the (not at all realised) dependency on her squad and more towards katara. because she has an equal! and thats!!! azula never really thought she'd HAVE one! katara is her WIFE, there's no presumed distance to keep!!!!! so she gets super duper obssessed with that. she wants to eat katara alive, she's enraptured by this woman.

so.. the worst siblings ever... zuko and azula were alone in the palace with only each other for years after ursa's disappearance and azulon's death. it made them so tremendously dependant on each other. azula believes that her brother is the one thing she can protect, wants to save, is her final piece of family and something good and there's no one else, NO ONE else. HE HAS TO STAY. it's very intense. the fire siblings trust each other implicitly and convince themselves that they're going to be stabbed in the back by each other. they're tied together in blood and want to kill each other and constantly butt heads and argue and contradict each other. and they're the united front of the last of ozai's line. the only ones who understand what it was to be a child of ozai and ursa. azula wants to bite zuko's head off and zuko constantly wonders if azula has been sent by a dark spirit to bring endless suffering to his life. true terrible siblings that would raze a country to the ground for the other, then slide a dagger into their back while they watch it burn.

their day to day life is a little boring, really. ty lee flits in and out of the palace on whims. if court is fun, she'll go. if there's a gala, she's there. if its boring? she'll leave to some FN island for a month and a half making connections, meeting nobles, being entertained, probably picking up a WEIRD hobby and/or romantic partner for a week. she sends a bajillion letters back abt her travels - that azula diligently reads and that mai dgaf abt and gets the synopsis off of azula. then ty lee returns, and rinse and repeat.

mai is officially a political advisor, representative of her father and close confidant of the princess-general azula. in reality, she fucks around the palace pursuing whatever she wishes, and conducts a very very terribly obvious affair with zuko that half the goddamn nation knows about. she's happy coasting along, dipping her hand into politics and national affairs every now and then to keep up apperances, and acting as a spy for azula when she wants to. they have a nice little setup.

azula is quite literally busy from sun up to sun down. she's got one billion projects constantly; ranging from political, scholarly, artistic, so on. she manages her own little spy network, she manages half the nobles in court, she micromanages the nation's finances. she's so insanely busy, and thats how she likes it. she always has time for tea with mai and training with zuko somehow. and zuko is much the same. he's never alone in a room, and always has a pile of work to get through. as the crown prince he's heavily involved in all flavours of meetings and consultations. he usually leaves the noble shmoozing to azula, though. he hates them.

they all work together pretty cohesively, since they were born and raised into these roles of nobility. katara was. not. katara absolutely, desperately DESPISES the fn royal court. no one tells her fucking ANYTHING about the tiny intricate sublties. its all very ridiculous to her. the stubborn, proffessional distance everyone keeps with each other is the worst of it for katara, who grew up in a very loving community that has no issues about physical or emotional intimacy. it's terribly lonely. she's stubborn enough to keep bashing her head against the wall trying to work her way through it, bc she refuses to be excluded from the halls of power of her new life. she's also kind of upset that despite being married to azula, she rarely ever SEES her, hardly gets the chance to know her (and connect with the one person she's allowed to have in the endlessly lonely palace halls). azula is simply so absorbed into her duties (and avoiding katara) that they only glimpse each other in their shared quarters. to katara's irritation and mai's distaste, those two seem to be the only people who see each other regularly. its really not a fun time for katara. she stumbles and makes mistakes and it's only then she ever gets to see her wife - and it's always azula's ire that she gets to recieve. toxic yuri.....

SO. thank you for asking abt this. i hope my complete word vomit makes a lick of sense. i adore talking about this au. peace and love on planet azutara

#starrdio #political marriage au #azutara #ask #btw when you ask me a bunch of questions abt this au i jump up and down and go yipeee!!

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dr3c0mix · 4 months

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Is this a safe space for me to vent?

I have some shit to get off my chest

////

Ok so basically I’m in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend and we’ve been together for over a year at this point, he is currently one of the only people I trust, but for the past five-ish days he hasn’t been talking to me at all, like I understand if he’s busy, but he didn’t tell my at all and it has gotten to a point where it feels like he is just ignoring me, I don’t know, I might just be overacting but it’s just even when he’s busy it’s never been for this long or without warning and I’m sorry for just saying all of this shit randomly but I’ve been crying for three hours at this point and just need to tell someone.

Thank you for listening, Dr3c0mix. And once again I’m sorry. I know it’s probably weird that some stranger online is sharing their problems but I really just have no one else to talk too…

Its totally ok man! LDR can be pretty stressful and hard at times but im sure he has his reasons, but that doesnt mean your feelings arent valid. Its ok to feel scared about stuff like this, hell i get uneasy when my friends go ia too. Just breathe and know that its going to be alright and that whatever is happening will pass. Sorry im not the best at comfort but i hope you find this blog a safe space for you. :)

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marabarl-and-marlbara · 6 months

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Hi Mara, hope this isn’t too personal, but I was wondering when you first connected with Scientology, as in when did you first take interest in it and find comfort in it?

hi anonymous, good morning;

i first took an interest in scientology after playing archangel:nemesis, & then afterwards talking about early experiences with christianity with a few friends who had also played a:n (each of us having a common experience in being raised in church / christian schools), and then afterwards reading accounts of life in the sea org and taking scientology classes online;

then through a chain of events, i ended up dating (though it barely counts as that, i guess, but i was smitten and ready to move-in) an ex-scientologist; i took a 'pilgrimage' to visit clearwater and the flag service building there, and bought my first Bridge Official New Version Hot copy of Dianetics, and just sort-of loved how special it all felt; it made me think of one of those sea org stories i read about a newly-indoctrinated sea org member arriving at an airport clutching one of those distinct Volcano-Covered books and looking only like a scientologist could;

some of the events around this period are bleary, but god/communication was talking to me through the writing -- it:s bleary, because i don:t really remember / don:t want to comb through my own writing from this time; eventually it culminated in me having a very long vision (which put a big strain on the relationship with my ex) where LRH visited me and explained further outside/inside, and how he had purchased my soul, and how my soul was good purchase because of the source of its material (from that basic quaternal-base / qlippotic-base) to be used as listening device for the scientologist:s "outside church operation" (outside here: outside of the material basic; outside of the observable and the sensible); i keep trying to write this vision as a short story called "spaceship" but keep giving up on it (most recent attempt was just yesterday, incidentally; remembering the vision and how i could word the vision in writing was keeping me up at night the night prior; the lich LRH bent over me and urging me to sign-it and hearing soft rumbling down, down deep in the spaceship; the sky outside just black; his breath was sour and his body was close; and i:d feel the thunder inside the ship carried through the cold chair i were sat in; the room we were in was empty, and shone like a dull silver insect that had lost its luster as if it crawled into shade and chose to remain there to await its death); the vision starts with a lich LRH from billions of years ago, in the ship, at the start of the soul contract, to where my soul were purchased for cheap (i was a janitor aboard the ship & tempted with great importance and service for humanity immortal); and then advances near-present to the outside church--its cathedral-like form, white tiles, blue carpets, niches, occular rooms with portals to a blank black sky (there i:d lay with an outside e-meter (part of the explanation of the soul:s purpose was to liken my soul as being same as the e-meter; as bestial and earthy and under-upper-filament as the e-meter; qlippotic material (and the warning of God to the right-handed) as a bestial material one that will drown in earth with its second death and be granted annihilation, as beasts are, as material are, and not granted heaven as humanity)) that i:d consider a sister or kin, to keep me company in the loneliness of the outside church); then i:d spend years in the halls/staff-rooms of the outside church being given lessons by staff (cold little white rooms, small circular office-tables and little pipe chairs) about the doctrine and purpose and religion; then the now-dead LRH would speak with me, like he were a father but with a certain distance that indicated i were more like a favorite razor or dog than a child, and confess a level of regret about the mistakes some of the past incarnations of LRH had made; i liked him a lot in those moments; then he:d explain to me patternings and context behind events in my life that were used as "programming points of contact" to align me with his purpose/purchase for me (to set me up as a listening device in each life while i was active in-server); part of this were to show me "doors" inside the inside where traumatic events were inserted inside of me (i remember these as being intensely physically painful; he:d walk me through the chambers inside myself and the pain would move with me as we traveled deeper in-to my body, from brain, to groin); then he:d show me the thing i had been praying to--or it shew itself to me; the thing that i call "god" to obscure what i pray to: the material, and the ancestry; it shew itself to me as three forms: the pit of snakes that i saw dying in nightmare as kid; some weird beast monster in the dark; then some feverish red glow in a dark-place that stared at me with a hateful terrifying indifference--that it really did hate me, that i had been misled into praying and selling my soul to something truly callous and malicious and that sought only my death: and that i had to trust in my love for it, despite the terror, and keep praying to it;

~etcetera; i stopped talking/writing about scientology much because 1) i got tired of people seeking out scientology through me; 2) i couldn:t join an org if i wanted; 3) i wanted to connect more with adventism since i had grown up with it & god began talking to me once more through the voice of EGW & thought it sign that i need to graft "the word" of god on-to the writing of EGW to carry it further, and to map a blueprint for a clean, sane, division of chiral life through that grafting (ie: the gracecon story as a blueprint for segregrating life for left-handed and right-handed persons).

still, i always get a special fluttery feeling seeing the dumb volcano or the big HUBBARD name;

take care anonymous.

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solitaireships · 3 months

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let me in your atmosphere

It's the start of Xianyun's banner, so I here's a fic I did about her and Andromeda! The title of this comes from Lovesick by Laufey! This is pretty much just a cute little fluffy morning fic

After the game spat in my face and made me lose the 50/50 after 80 pulls, I'm basically having to start from 0 again to try to get her befor the banner ends. I'll be considering all likes, reblogs, etc I get on this a manifestation that ae will come home to me lol

Rating: Gen

Genre: Fluff

Words: 1039 words

Divider by saradika

Andromeda wakes up feeling more rested than she usually does. She’s never been a good sleeper— even when she was a child she’d often wake up in the middle of the night. But for the first time that she can remember, she realizes as she stirs awake that she doesn’t think she had any late night interruptions to her sleep. She slept soundly, and she thinks that she owes her unusually good rest to her girlfriend.

Everything with Xianyun is still new. They’re both navigating what their relationship means, but it’s exciting to figure out who they are to each other. There’s an awkwardness that comes with it, but it’s also comforting in a way. Xianyun is amazing— every second that Andromeda spends with aer is precious to her, but letting someone into her life has been strange for her. She’s not used to getting close to people, not used to being able to actually count on other people to listen to her and care about her. This is all uncharted territory.

A month into this relationship, that doesn’t scare Andromeda as much as it used to. Xianyun stays at Andromeda’s apartment in Liyue sometimes now, cuddled up against her in bed. She’s all sharp angles and long limbs, but there’s something comforting about her presence too. Andromeda thinks that ae’s what’s helped her sleep better lately, though aer helping her sleep only makes aer absence in the morning more noticeable.

Andromeda blindly feels around the bed, not yet opening her eyes. When she doesn’t feel anything but pillows and blankets, she half whispers out, “Pretty bird?”

“One can be found on the balcony.” Xianyun’s voice is distant, being carried in through the door by the right side of the bed.

Andromeda has always liked the way Xianyun speaks. Sometimes it reminds her of poetry. There’s a soothing flow to her words that’s pleasant to listen to, and Andromeda’s gotten distracted listening to her talk more than a few times as she’s gotten stuck in just the sound of it.

She climbs out of bed, taking her glasses from the nightstand. One of the good things about having an apartment in Liyue is the balcony built off from the bedroom. It gives a lovely view of the sprawling city, the ocean just barely visible in the distance but still with the smell of sea salt drifting to the balcony in the breeze.

But Andromeda’s attention is drawn away from the warm orange and yellow colors of the sunrise towards Xianyun. Ae’s wearing aer glasses, but aer hair is still down, following down in its feathery layers past aer back. She's pretty in her nightgown, the silky black material going down to her knees and draped off of her slim shoulders.

Andromeda joins Xianyun on the balcony, coming to a stop next to aer. She leans against the railing of it, resting her arms on the cool wood.

“You’re up early,” she states.

“One wanted to enjoy the view,” Xianyun says. “The morning sky in Liyue is unique among Teyvat's wonders.”

“Hmm. Yeah, it’s always pretty like this, isn’t it?”

“Very,” ae says. She shifts closer to Andromeda, wrapping an arm around her waist. “You are a very nice view in the morning too.”

Andromeda can’t help but smile at that. It’s a little bit of an overused line, but there’s a genuineness behind it that makes her heart beat a little faster. It’s hard to believe that this is real, and that Xianyun can truly love her, but it gets a little easier in the softer moments like this.

Andromeda presses a quick kiss to aer cheek.

“Thank you,” she says.

“You don’t need to thank one for simply stating the truth,” Xianyun says. She leans her head against Andromeda’s, having to lower herself a little to do so. “But one does like hearing you say kind things.”

Andromeda smiles. “Hmm. How about I say that you’re gorgeous then? And easily the smartest person that I’ve ever met. You have such a sharp mind, it’s really incredible to see you at work.”

It’s odd. Andromeda has never been good at giving or receiving compliments. It’s always felt to her that words aren’t enough, that they can’t really show what someone’s feeling. It’s easy to twist words into something else, changing their meaning or saying things that aren’t really meant. And when it comes to her complimenting someone, she never feels like she can find the right words for it, never find the words that conveys what she actually thinks. She fumbles and says what feels close enough, even if it only scratches the surface.

But when she compliments Xianyun, the words flow out easily. Everything that she says feels right, even if it will never truly be enough to show her just how much she cares. It’s nice not having to agonize over every word, and it’s nice not to feel like she has to script out everything that she’ll say as she speaks.

“You’re far too kind,” Xianyun says.

“I could say the same to you.” Andromeda knows that it’s not every day that an adeptus has a relationship with a human. There are risks that come with being together, but the fact that Xianyun is willing to take them with her is flattering in and of itself.

Xianyun guides Andromeda’s face up towards her with a clawed finger lifting her chin. Aer lips are soft as ae kisses her. She’s more confident at kissing now than she was just a month ago when they had their first kiss— Andromeda still can’t believe that she was Xianyun’s first kiss ever.

When their lips part, Andromeda still feels lighter on her feet. It’s almost like kissing Xianyun was a relief. She always thought that people were being cheesy and over dramatic when they said that love can change everything, but right now she thinks she can see why they say that.

“Thank you for letting me be part of your life,” Andromeda says.

“One is lucky to spend one’s time with you,” Xianyun replies. Ae nuzzles aer nose against the top of Andromeda’s head. “Now, may one treat one’s radiant girlfriend to breakfast?”

She smiles. “Yeah. Yeah, you can.”

#my posts #my writing #☁️ on cloud nine #☁️#💧 andromeda #selfship fic #safeship fic #selfshipping #i'm still getting a feel for how xianyun talks #but i feel like this came out decently #now to hope this is enough to get her to come home to me #originally i wanted this to be a celebration of me getting aer #but now it's a call for manifestations that she show up

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cheshire-castle-library · 7 months

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October 3, 2023

HEY STUDYBLR IM LOSING MY GOB!!! Okay so listen, I have a sculpture class this semester where I'm working on this automaton of a hand, rapping its fingers impatiently. I'm using a cam and follower system to create some simple up and down motion.

And I know how high the difference between the low and high points of the cam are, and i know how long the follower is across so that it sits on the cam, but is pinned on a rod over the side. BUT, i needed to know what angle the follower would be at max height, and like.... I had NO IDEA how to find that, or whether it would make a right triangle or not, so my solution?

Castle math. This is like, medieval math. This is what made free masons free. Fucking circles. I was given my great grandmother's drafting set after she passed. She used these to draft the streets for the city I grew up in, these things went through WWII, like they are good. And I treasure them, but this literally let me make circles of Diameter "follower length" and from that and some vague understanding of relationship between triangles and circles, and knowing that this is even possible because of YouTube and a frikken Professor Layton puzzel from eons before, I just kind of sit and do this???

I'm still losing my nut over this. I mean I knew academically that this worked. This was how math was done before calculus. All math was Geometry - rooted in real, discrete shapes - but its completely different doing this yourself. And like, I learned some things about the numbers and how they related to each other that explains an error I was having where at some point the follower touches the cam in a place I didn't intend it to. So now I think I can tune the cams to better suit the distances I have!!!

There's so much here, and I'm really glad I did this this way. My best friend mentioned that this is basically was CAD programs do and I.... hadn't even considered using CAD (ya know, like I was trained to), because I'm 3d modeling this, but not in a really complicated 3d modeling program, so I need to know the numbers myself. But like... this is witchcraft?!?!?!??? This is some arcane fucking math.

#mathblr #gradblr #my big mouth #phdblr #studyblr #im losing my shit #this is arcane geometry #this is what the carbuncles are made of #cheshire castle log

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adriabun · 8 months

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angel this is your free pass ask to go ham about whatever’s on your mind w petyle. i am laying down, kicking my feet, and listening 👀

ive been sitting on this in my inbox for so long just trying to collect my thoughts and so many ppl have asked me that...now it is time.....ok

i think the thing i want to talk most about is the beginning of their relationship and what their relationship actually is ...like what about it is making me lose my marbles...i want to get all of this information out because as the ceo of petyle i need everyone to understand how they are characterised and how to correctly view their relationship. anything outside what i think is simply lies and flanderization..../hj.........

i typically default to college-age setting so thats what ill be centering on but my ideas of their dynamic can be malleable to other ages (canon, high school, post covid at a stretch etc)

pete has always been interested in kyle from a distance- theyve never really spoken, but after stan becomes a normie again after his goth stint michael points stan out at school like 'look at that conformist lol' and petes like 'yeah what a loser. also who the fuck is the guy in green.'

we've seen from basic cable where he has a crush on sophie that he isnt necessarily afraid of putting himself out there when hes interested in someone but hes kind of awkward about it. so he approaches kyle a couple of times to see what his deal is. this makes all the other goth kids INSANE like not in a negative way they r either in disbelief (michael, firkle) or think its hilarious (henrietta) that pete has a crush on kyle, he massively denies its a romantic thing tho bc hes not a gaywad...he just wants to know whats up with this guy and why hes so interesting

ngl kyle is probably suspicious or at least confused as why pete has started talking to him once hes over the initial weirdness he realises pete is kind of chill but the award palatable small talk hes trying to have with kyle is really annoying kyle def snaps at some point and asks him what the fuck pete is trying to gain out of this because its obvious hes not being himself.

pete is stubborn enough to not back down atp, hes not gonna let a conformist own him like that. so he starts being himself so much, to a degree where hes almost saying 'you wanted this, fine here you fucking go' in order to make kyle upset. but it doesnt work oh no!! kyle finds his goth eccentricities and pessimism so stupid thats its endearing!!!

nothing between them is inherently romantic or even entirely..friendly. more than anything they enjoy annoying each other in a constant loop of quips and rolled eyes. but theres just like.. something fiery underneath they wont address until they get wasted at a house party and let the alcohol do the talking

i have a habit of favouring either onesided petyle (on petes side ofc) or one that ends with a bad breakup because #stylesweep so a lot of my thoughts are biased towards that sort of ending. i just like relationship/situationship angst ok ...ive been there many times. a part of this angst is the idea that theyre each just 'the best they can get' in the moment. Pete's too internally self loathing to think kyle is actually in love with him or anything. theyre just having fun. its not serious. he refuses to think into any of it emotionally, though its kind of eating him up inside. meanwhile kyle is literally just taking it as it is. he feels a little guilty. he doesnt like pete like that (???) but he cant deny flirting and fooling around with him is fun. and also a distraction from stan getting back with wendy.

anyway thats what i have for now. let me know if anyone wants any more i guess. or any specifics about their actual relationship that i have bouncing around. idk!

#THANK YOU ALISTER CRIES #south park #sp petyle #pete thelman #kyle broflovski #petyle #answered

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dcsnextgaycharacter · 5 months

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Listen. LISTEN. I'm a bisexual Harvey Dent truther. Even if we ignore the fact that that's hilarious on its own, that man sure had a thing going on with Bruce.

HOWEVER

We can't let Hal fucking Jordan lose on the first round. That man is more queer than a lot of DC's queer characters. It's honestly wild that it's not canon yet. Have you guys seen whatever the fuck he has going on with Ollie?!?! THE DEVOTION, THE CARE?!?!?! HE BROUGHT OLLIE BACK TO LIFE AS HIS LAST ACT AS A GOD BEFORE DYING CAUSE OLLIE REPRESENTED THE BEST PART OF HIS LIFE. And that's all after Ollie SHOT HIM THROUGH THE HEART before of all the "basically becoming a god" thing. And that's just scratching the surface of that relationship, those two are INSANE. They went on a roadtrip through the country!!! And changed each other in so many ways!!! (and also fucked)!!!! They joke about being on a long distance relationship and Hal complains that it's unfair cause Dinah is closer!!!!!! OLLIE CALLS HIM "BABY"!!!!!!! Hal is fucking considered a part of the family IT'S WILD!!!!!!!

And. Do you know all that I just said? All that is simply his relationship with Ollie, cause I'm a Green Arrow fan first and foremost. I didn't mention his relationship with Sinestro or John or... sigh... Barry. The man is just out there having some of the most homoerotic relationships in DC comics with almost every man he gets close with. And it's always relationships full of emotion and devoid of any sanity CAUSE I'm not kidding when I say every single one of them lose their braincells when it comes to Hal.

AND ALL OF THAT WAS SIMPLY ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS!!!!!!!

I didn't even mention gender!!!!!!! AND THERE'S A LOT TO BE TALKED ABOUT HIS GENDER!!!!!!!!!

We could be here for HOURS and not talk enough about how queer Hal Jordan is. So as much as it hurts me to have Harvey lose on first round, we NEED to make Hal sweep. C'mon guys, we can do it!!!!

Propoganda!

#asks

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soleilnomoon · 2 years

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hello kaia !

this idea has been on my mind FOREVER and I finally had the guts to go ahead and type up a request.

you know that scene in wano when hiyori cuddles up with zoro ? this is where that idea stems from lol.

I’m looking for a zoro x female reader ANGST where their relationship has been developed for a long period of time and it’s evident feelings are there and they acknowledge that but there’s nothing official between them. but it’s a well known fact amongst the crew that these two are LOWKEY lovebirds and are basically a thing without the label. the reader also hates being vulnerable and finds it very difficult to express vulnerability. they really don’t cry, tend to hold things in, etc. zoro’s only ever seen her cry once before so, and I think he’d be the only crew member to see it too.

then when zoro starts getting close with hiyori, and the reader finds out, things go astray. there’s a lot of angst, heartbreak and turmoil. reader feels sort of betrayed and emotionally wounded that this is happening and zoro has conflicted feelings and doesn’t know what they mean which obviously makes things more frustrating and heart wrenching. reader is very angry at first (bc she’s a tough girl) but as her anger boils she becomes much more emotionally distraught, crying, etc. (idk if this makes sense but ya know lol). basically I think the reader finding out about them cuddling would be the breaking point. (like she’s been keeping it hidden quite well, but is very distant and neglectful to zoro bc of this, but then she finds out about the cuddling and very aggressively confronts him and it’s just a mess).

sorry this request is all over the place lmao. my brain skips around a lot. do with it what you will :3 tysm! <3

hiii, thank u for being patient, i love writing angsty fics so this was very much up my alley <3

1.4k words, fem reader (no pronouns), sfw - just a lot of angst, and comfort i guess; no real warnings, except zoro is bad at communicating we all know this.

a forgotten flower pressed carefully in a worn book, pages yellowed with time and use; ink smudged, the script barely legible to the average eye, the edges of each page frayed, crumbling with each time the book is opened. due to its fragility, it sits comfortably on one of the makeshift shelves in your room with other books similar in appearance. a breeze floats inside, thin curtains fluttering, a hint of warm sea salt tumbling in the wind, reminding you of simpler times where your mind didn’t betray you, when your heart was more sensible.

a light-hearted conversation morphs into something entirely different, one marked by raised voices, a shattered teacup, the shards sharp enough that you cut the palm of your hand. the offer to help goes unheard — or, rather, is ignored. you’re very good at doing that, running from intense emotions, not properly listening to reason, completely ignoring his request for you to stay behind and finish talking. highly uncharacteristic on his part — he hates talking, hates difficult conversations, and finds your reluctance to hear him out bothersome.

you take your time cleaning the cut on your palm, the sting of the antiseptic makes you wince; it’s not deep enough to leave a scar, but not shallow enough to leave open. you wrap it carefully, fingers shaking, disrupting your concentration, his words replaying in your mind on a loop.

maybe you should hear him out, maybe you should go back and not let your insecurities cloud your judgment, maybe you should stop deluding yourself into thinking you have a place in his life.

when you return to your room, he’s seated on the edge of your bed, head lifting when the door finally opens. he stays quiet as you lean against the door, eyes landing on him critically, the distance between you makes you wish you could go back in time. an impossible feat now, you know that, but it doesn’t stop you for wanting it to be possible.

the silence sits heavy on your chest, your thoughts bouncing around as you try to muster the strength to try this again. he pivots his body so that he’s facing you, although you’re looking away, at anything else — he has a way of pinning you with his looks. you don’t want that now. his mouth moves, but you don’t hear anything he says, your own heartbeat thundering loudly in your ears, taking you away unintentionally. when he calls your name out repeatedly, the dazed look fades from your eyes; you blink rapidly, the sting from holding back tears unbearable, but you try to hold it in for as long as you can.

crying means defeat — an extreme assertion, but it’s what you’ve known your whole life. it’s something he’s known too, although his aversion isn’t as great as yours. your stubbornness rivals luffy’s, which is what frustrates him the most. he’s not eloquent, nor does he possess the skill to articulate himself in a way that will make things make sense to you. still, you remain silent, your lids lowering as your eyes drift over to him. hands balled into fists behind your back, you try to ground yourself by digging your fingernails into the fleshy part of your palms. you don’t feel it though — you never do.

his story never changes, nor does he seem apologetic about a thing he’s done; it pisses you off, the anger bubbling underneath your skin, making your face hot. what you really want to do is throw things, you want to yell at him, you want him to take it back — to say that it was a joke made in poor taste. but you don’t, and his words remain resolute, each statement infiltrating your mind, adding to the rising paranoia that has you breathing shallowly.

perceptive as ever, he knows that your mind is attempting to trick you again, knows that you don’t completely understand his explanation, and knows that if he doesn’t rectify things, he might actually lose you. he can’t have that. not now, not after everything that’s happened.

getting off the bed, his legs carry him over to you quickly; he knows that with you he has to try a different approach, he has to think a little more about how he says things. it’s not because he’s achieved some sort of emotional maturity overnight, but because of the longevity of your relationship with him, he tries a little bit more. fingers hooked underneath your chin, tilting your head so that you can properly look at him, his mouth opens but the words get stuck. so he reconsiders, tries a different tactic, until he realizes that you’re still… out of it.

“hey,” he says gruffly, voice low but comforting, “where’d you go?”

you understand what he’s asking, but you’re unsure of how to answer him. again you blink and try to center yourself. but each time you close your eyes, you see him with her and it ignites your anger all over again. with your hands planted firmly on his chest, you attempt to shove him, but the thing about zoro is that he’s equally as determined as you are. he stands firm and unmoving, eye narrowing, brows sloping downward as his confusion continues to rob him of cohesion.

“i don’t want to do this right now,” you manage to say, eyes stinging, so you blink in the hopes of chasing the tears away. “i don’t want to talk to you.” it isn’t true; you don’t want to go anywhere and you don’t want him to leave either; it’s a childish move that you don’t quite understand, but it confuses him. still, he doesn’t move.

“no, talk to me.” his words should comfort you, instead you keep seeing him in the shack, keep seeing his chest pressed against hiyori’s, keep seeing their limbs entangled with one another, and your imagination doesn’t let up as he attempts to bring you back from wherever your mind and anxiety has taken you.

but, it becomes too much. you’re not entirely unfeeling — on the contrary, you feel much too much all the time. it’s why all of this is so damn difficult. you roll your bottom lip in between your teeth, fingers curling into the fabric of his shirt, words failing you even now. you don’t want to seem like a petulant child, but your hopelessness for the situation makes it impossible to not act as such. if he wasn’t so used to your behavior, he’d be alarmed.

because his frustration becomes much too great for him, his hand grasps your jaw, fingers pressing into your skin almost as if he needs to hold you in place there.

“it couldn’t be helped,” is all he says, “it was snowing.”

you understand, you know, you just don’t like it. hate it, actually. it’s easier to assume that his actions were due to an underlying desire on his part to get closer to hiyori. you know you jumped to conclusions, you understand that you’re not actually being understanding. his reason makes sense but it doesn’t make you feel better. and, because you body is a traitor, you suck in a bit of air before the tears start falling, vision blurring from the ferocity of your sobs. crying is always an awkward affair for him, but he hates to see you like this.

when he pulls you to him, wraps his arms around, you don’t bother fighting him; maybe because all you really wanted was for him to hold you, reaffirm the things he’s told you repeatedly, remind you that despite everything, he will always find his way back to you.

what you don’t know is that despite finding it necessary to share warmth with her like that, he wished that it was you he was holding instead of her. it’s something he tries to convey when he wipes your tears, presses kisses down your jaw before dragging his lips to yours. and even though you want to keep being angry, you simmer down significantly, sighing into the kiss and holding onto him, as if you’re afraid he’ll disappear somehow. you’ve never needed anything remotely official to label your relationship — you don’t care about titles and correcting people; as long as what he feels for you matches your feelings, that’s all that matters. and while it may take a bit of convincing on his part, you eventually do forgive him, feeling a bit foolish for getting upset like that.

but, in the end, he does promise to be considerate moving forward — or, as considerate as someone like him can be. it’s enough for you for now, you remind yourself, not wanting to think about a situation like this arising again in the future. you know that you can’t dictate how he lives his life, but you do appreciate his insistence on staying by your side, on making you feel a little less unstable and more present.

#one piece imagine #fic request #roronoa zoro #roronoa zoro x reader #zoro x reader #zoro x y/n #one piece x reader #one piece x y/n #zoro angst #roronoa zoro x y/n

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asvterias · 2 years

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𝖲𝗈𝖿𝗍!𝖬𝖺𝗑 𝖬𝖺𝗒𝖿𝗂𝖾𝗅𝖽 𝖧𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖼𝖺𝗇𝗇𝗈𝗇𝗌

Tag List: @clarkegriffinslever

a/n: Basically season 4 but without its actual plot. Kinda long.

Soft!Max x Black!Byers!Girlfriend!Reader

• You are Joyce's daughter (adopted and same age as Will)

• When she first came to Hawkins, you immediately intrigued her with your dashing cocoa brown skin and your amazing sense of style

• Would often see her at the arcade and sometimes she would invite you to play with her

• You became her first friend and she was ecstatic

• Until she started to realize her feelings for you two months later in the friendship

• She would distance herself away from you to question her sexuality

• The Mayfield girl came to terms that she was a lesbian

• “Why are you avoiding me?”

• “Because, I just discovered something about myself and I don't know…if you'd accept me for it.”

• “Whatever it is, I'll always accept you, foxy.”

• “…I'm a lesbian.”

• “So am I.”

• “No, you don't get it [name], it's more than that. I think that I'm falling in love with you.”

• “Oh….”

• She let out a defeated sigh, “That's what I thought. You know, can you just forget about this so it doesn't ruin our friendship — even if we still are friends.”

• “Me too…”

• “Wai- what?!”

• “I'm falling in love with you too and I didn't confess because I didn't think that you would ever reciprocate those feelings.”

• “So does this mean that we're dating now?!”

• “Relax, mayfield, at least take me out for dinner first.”

• So that was how your loving relationship with max blossomed

• Your redhead girlfriend is such a cute smol bean

• Whether it's protecting you or loving you, she is a goddamn multitasker

• Max would never want to admit it but she got dating advice from Robin and Steve

• Mostly she ignored Steve and listened to Robin's advice (which was pretty good)

• So since you're friends with Vickie, Max tries to set Robin and Vickie up as a thank you

• Safe to say that they worked out so now you go on double dates occasionally

• She is the adventurous type and would make you try new things with her

• During summer break, you both took up photography, pottery, and painting class

• As soon as max was given that camera, she would non-stop take pictures of you

• Unexpectedly, Max was pretty amazing with art

• Mainly her focus was on you because you were her beautiful masterpiece after all

• Her beautiful melanin princess

• So most of her paintings were mostly you

• Now onto pottery

• I feel like max would hug you from behind and kiss your neck, desperate for your attention while you were doing pottery in the comfort of your home

• Or she would come up from behind and pepper your cheek with kisses while helping you shape it

• Max would definitely teach you how to ride her skateboard

• Like she is a helicopter girlfriend

• By that, I mean that her arms will be wrapped around your waist

• Now this is exclusively rare because she lets no one on her skateboard but herself

• Instantly, when you first got hurt riding the skateboard, the redhead completely freaked out

• So now you wear a helmet, elbow and knee pads

• The whole party was completely shooketh

• “So you’re telling me that max let you ride her skateboard and you live to see another day?”

• Meanwhile, you teach her how to bake

• She would steal cookies as they were cooling down

• “Maxy, did you steal one— FOUR cookies!!”

• “No, baby I haven't seen any cookies,”

• Your nicknames for her would be: maxy, my redhead, foxy

• Her nicknames for you would be: baby, darling, sweetheart

• One time she wanted to surprise you by baking you a cake just for being the best girlfriend to her

• That was a complete catastrophe

• Max + Baking = Horrible Match

• You literally had to call the fire department

• If max was aiming for an unforgettable birthday, she surely took the cake

• If you were sick even if it was just the flu

• May God help you

• “Do you need soup? Do you want me to fluff your pillows? Do you feel like vomiting?”

• Refuses to give you kisses while you're sick

• “No, baby. You need to get better then I will give you all the kisses that you desire.”

• Max would definitely want to wear matching Halloween costumes

• During Christmas, Max loves it when you put extra marshmallows in her hot cocoa and she loves it when you lay on her chest, all cuddled up with her arms wrapped around you, watching Christmas movies

• When you went on summer vacation for two weeks, it was like torture for her

• Even though she had Eleven and Robin to talk to, it wasn't the same

• Regularly calls you to just hear your angelic voice

• Becomes instantly flustered when Jonathan or Will teases you

• “[Name], it's your girlfriend again!”

• She would send you poems and love letters but wouldn’t admit it to anyone else but you

• I reckon that she draw cookies and skateboards on the header of the letter so you know it's from her

• Rarely gets jealous cause she trusts you but if someone takes it too far

• You WILL be going to school the next day, your neck covered in hickeys

• Is definitely the small spoon

• There were times when you would rest your head on her shoulder, falling asleep but the boys would ruin the vibe

• “Be quiet, you shitheads, can't you see she's asleep?” Then she would put her arm around you and kiss the crown of your head

• She adores it when you wear her hoodies

• For some reason, your girlfriend ALWAYS loves when you have your hair in an afro

• Tries to help you unbraid your hair when summer is over

• If you two fought, max would normally be the one to apologize first

• The redhead would buy matching lockets

• So during your 2nd year anniversary of dating, she gifted you a photo book with photos of you both and has them labeled with all of the dates as well

• “I'm gonna marry you one day.”

• “And I can't wait till that day comes.”

• You two are the dream couple in Hawkins

#stranger things #stranger things headcanons #fluff headcanons #stranger things fluff headcannons #max mayfield #max mayfield x fem!reader #max mayfield x black!reader #max mayfield headcannons

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underratedandoverit · 11 months

Text

they dont see you but i do (and i love you)

~5k words orangekip (orange cassidy/kip sabian)

whaddup have a secret relationship fic. this got unnecessarily long but who cares its good lol. slight shades of angst and some hurt/comfort, especially closer to the end, but its basically your usual pondering over difficult relationships stuff that you should be used from me by now if you come here often lol. oh also kris is here as ive fallen in love with writing her and i dont even know if im doing her that good LOL kip says fuck too many times. as per usual. other than that theres not really anything to warrant a high rating for it tbh

@midnightpretenders0 @stormbornpirate

on ao3

---------------------------

Laying on the bed, Kip eyed the ceiling opening above him, listening to the quiet sounds around him. It was just another week of this, being stuck in the hotel room, waiting for the next day to roll around so he could get to work. Take care of business there as per usual, get back to the hotel for the night, fly home the next day, and wait anxiously to repeat the whole thing next week.

It was the same thing week in and week out.

But at the same time, he didn’t really mind it in the end, Kip thought as he watched the bathroom door being pushed open, the blond walking out and approaching the bed. Cassidy plopped sitting down to the bed next to him, running a lazy hand through Kip’s brightly colored hair, the Brit sending him a tired smile.

“Long flight?” Cassidy asked, as if he hadn’t just spent like ten minutes making himself presentable after coming in from his own flight. Kip just chuckled at him quietly, scooting a bit closer as he snuggled against Cassidy’s side. He didn’t need to reply to the question, the answer was pretty obvious to both of them.

“Just happy you’re here finally,” he muttered into Cassidy’s side, the blond nodding despite knowing Kip couldn’t see the response from him. He continued to run a hand through his hair, spinning coils of it around his finger as Cassidy stared off into the distance across the room, briefly wondering why Kip hadn’t turned the television on while he had been waiting. They had arrived separately despite sharing a hotel room, like usually, not only because it would have taken one of them a good hour or two or maybe more of waiting for the other’s plane to land.

But also because the newly blossoming relationship was still a secret they were both in mutual agreement trying to kind of hold under the wraps to their coworkers and people around them, in hopes of being able to break the news when the response would have been at least a little bit less turbulent than what it would have been with them coming off from as heated of an on-screen feud as they had had the past couple of months.

Honestly at least to Cassidy it wouldn’t have been a huge surprise if some people had already started to put the pieces together, even if they had been openly sworn enemies up to just a few weeks ago. While they didn’t spend time together publicly, it was probably very obvious they were both hiding something from their own friend groups. Cassidy sure as hell knew Chuck and Trent had been asking him questions why he always disappeared so fast after the shows and never flew in early anymore for fun outings the nights before and so forth, and he always had to come up with some excuses like just wanting to spend some more time at home or the convenience of late hour flights. Kip had very similar stories to tell, and while they didn’t really have many mutual friends, surely someone at this point had started to think things. Like Cassidy had seen the way both Kris and Danhausen looked at him when he was talking about all of this.

“Clementine? Are you listening?”

Cassidy snapped out of his thoughts, looking down at the questioning look from Kip as the other man gently poked him on the thigh to gather his attention again. Cassidy shook his head a little, letting out a sigh. “Sorry. What’s up?”

“I was just thinking,” Kip started, pushing himself up into a sitting position next to him, leaning his back against the backboard of the bed. “Since I’m going to visit home next week. Why don’t you come with me? We can have a little getaway away from work together.”

Cassidy’s brows furrowed a bit as he processed the rather out of character proposal from Kip. He had been talking about going back to the UK to visit for a while now, but this was the first time he had directly made a comment about them possibly taking on this trip together, and something about him so randomly bringing this up now just felt very odd to Cassidy.

“I don’t know if I can get a whole week off.”

Kip pouted at him a little, knowing full well that wasn’t the only reason he was hesitant to immediately agree to his little proposal. “You’ve been working almost every single week for almost a year now. You can have a little time off, I’m sure. It would just be really nice to have some company.”

“Isn’t there anyone else you could ask?” Kip rolled his eyes, already knowing that Cassidy was going to try to pull as many excuses as possible to avoid being dragged along to this. “It would raise a lot of questions if we both flew to the UK at the same time when there’s nothing going on over there that we need to promote or appear in. Sharing a flight, sharing the time, sharing--”

“Yeah, okay, I get it, you don’t wanna go.” Kip turned away from him, clearly irritated by this turn of events as he leaned away, fetching the remote from the nightstand on his side of the bed, turning the television on. “You don’t have to be so rude about it.”

“It would just be suspicious if--”

“And what does that matter?” Kip asked with a sigh, Cassidy already regretting ever answering anything when this topic was brought up. “We’ve been dancing around this topic for weeks now. Is that ever going to fucking stop, or are we going to just keep this as a secret forever? It’s been like, what, two months at least now and nothing has changed except we just need to keep being more and more careful as time goes on. Do you understand how exhausting that is?”

It wasn’t really a surprise to Cassidy that Kip was bringing all of this up, and honestly he was right about it too. It had been a few weeks now, and it was wearing both of them down steadily, but surely. Constantly having to arrange things around one another but still keep being together a secret, never answering their friends questions about their free time anymore, not being able to spend time together while they were at work… It was all very exhausting, yes, but at the same time maybe that was at this point in time still better than potentially facing the backlash of bringing this whole relationship into light.

Cassidy just really had no idea how to tell all that to Kip in a way he would understand it better, especially when he knew just as well as the Brit himself did that Kip was already very well aware of all of these facts too.

“I just wish we could act like… I don’t know, fucking normal I guess, around other people too. I just want to be able to do stuff with you without it being all like this.”

Kip didn’t need to specify what “this” meant in this context, Cassidy already knew it. This was far from the first time they had talked about this, far from the first time either of them had tried to push out some ideas to maybe bring this all into the light. Cassidy less so, but nonetheless, to both of them this was an issue they needed to solve. Eventually more so for Cassidy, if he was being honest. Sure being so secretive was stressful and taxing, but at the same time he felt like this was all working out really well for the two of them, and having to bring it all out to the public when he didn’t know what kind of a general reaction they would get, was probably actually making him feel more anxious than trying to continue to hide it all for as long as possible until the world was ready to hear about the two of them in his mind.

“Whatever. Forget I even asked. I’ll just go alone, it’s fine.”

Before Cassidy could even muster an apology out of him, let alone a reply of any sort, Kip pushed himself up from the bed, picking up his bag on the way as he headed for the bathroom. A heavy sigh escaped from Cassidy as he heard the shower being turned on soon after, knowing that while the conversation was now definitely over for the night, on the long term the struggle had just started. While they hadn’t maybe been together for that long yet, he already had a very clear vision of what kind of a person Kip was especially in a relationship, and Cassidy knew full well when he set his mind onto something like this, Kip wasn’t going to let it go before he got what he wanted. Or something went terribly wrong while he was trying to get his desired results.

Cassidy just wasn’t sure if he was going to be able to give it to him yet. Eventually, obviously, if things between them went on well enough for long enough, they would make it official publicly as well to at least their friends and coworkers. But right now he still wasn’t entirely sure about it. While it didn’t feel very fast, it wasn’t like they had just gotten together yesterday, it had been a couple of weeks at this point, something about it was still off putting to him.

Maybe it was the fact that it had been a while and they were still hiding it. Obviously Kip didn’t really like that anymore, and Cassidy wasn’t even sure why they had carried it out this long. Out of habit probably, but it still felt more comfortable to him than putting it out there. Something about keeping it a secret felt safe, even if it was definitely the more taxing option, and he just wanted to cling onto that feeling maybe.

He shook his head, hand reaching for the remote as he turned the television off before proceeding to prepare himself for bed. It was obvious no more conversations were going to be had tonight, and it was late already, they really did need to sleep in order to be able to get to work tomorrow. Turning the lights off Cassidy listened to the sound of the running water coming from the bathroom as he returned to the bed, settling himself comfortably under the blanket. Kip was taking his sweet time, probably trying to distance himself from the previous conversation, giving them both time to breath. Or at least that’s what Cassidy was hoping for.

Trying to calm his own mind with a couple of deep inhales, Cassidy settled on his spot in the bed, snuggling his head against the pillow and closed his eyes. He was already tired from all the traveling and the mental toll all of this was taking on him, so it didn’t take Cassidy long to fall asleep despite the situation around him.

---------------------------

Navigating his way through backstage, Cassidy was basically looking for any possible glimpse of Kip he could. He hadn’t seen Kip since last night, by the time morning rolled around and Cassidy woke up, Kip was already gone from the hotel room. It wasn’t anything unusual for them to leave at different times to avoid suspicion, but usually they at least had breakfast together before leaving. And this morning Kip was just gone, before he even woke up, which was unusual for him, especially since usually Cassidy was the one that left first as Kip liked to sleep in and took longer in general to get ready for the day.

Cassidy didn’t blame him after what transpired the night before, but truth to be told, he was a little hurt by it all, there was no denying that. At least if something positive came out of this, Cassidy knew now fully where Kip stood with this topic, and it made it easier for him to make up his mind about it too.

Well. At least somewhat easier. Pulling the trigger on something like this especially when you had to afterwards explain to all of your friends why you had been hiding it from them for weeks wasn’t going to be easy. Cassidy already knew that at least Chuck was going to freak out at him no matter what. But at least if that happened, they would easily use his reaction as one of the key example reasons why they had decided to keep it under wraps up until this point.

Finally stopping the fruitless search and pushing the locker room door open, Cassidy was rather surprised to actually find it empty. Usually he was the last one to arrive out of their group, especially when they spent the morning hiding away at the hotel with Kip. Maybe it shouldn’t have been so surprising to him that the rest of the Best Friends hadn’t arrived yet, considering that things hadn’t happened this morning. With a sigh he flung his bag on the couch, taking a seat next to it.

He was going to get to see Kip eventually, that much was for sure. Even if he had gotten so irritated with Cassidy that he somehow would have gone through getting a whole separate hotel room, which Cassidy doubted but wasn’t completely ruling out immediately considering how last night had gone, they still had a big multi men tag team match between their respective groups happening tonight. So at least they were going to be sharing the ring tonight, if not the bed later.

Thankfully he didn’t have to be alone with his thoughts for too long, as soon the door swung open again, Cassidy watching Kris stroll in, a smile landing on her face as soon as she saw the blond sitting on the couch.

“Orange! Perfect!” Cassidy just shrugged back at her as he leaned back on his seat, just kind of hoping tonight would be over quickly. Kris parked her luggage next to the couch before walking around the room, quickly checking in the shower and bathroom before returning to Cassidy. “The rest of the boys are not here yet?”

He shook his head, the smile just growing bigger on her face as Kris threw herself down on the couch next to him. “Good, I wanted to ask you something.”

Cassidy didn’t even have time to let the dread build inside of him before Kris already blurted out the words he had been hoping nobody would be directing at him any time soon.

“Sooooo you are dating someone, aren’t you?”

Cassidy didn’t need to reply, as the way he tensed up visibly at the question already told Kris everything she needed to know, making her gasp a little bit in excitement as she pushed herself up in a proper sitting position on the couch, her eyes never leaving Cassidy as she did. “I knew it! The boys didn’t believe me but I knew it!”

“Kris, please--”

“Who is it? Do I know them? How did you meet? How long have you been together? What--”

“Kris. Please.”

She pouted a little at being interrupted, but quieted down pretty fast seeing how exhausted Cassidy was already about this whole thing. The blond just sighed, removing the sunglasses from his face before he wiped a clearly frustrated hand over it, letting out the sigh.

“If I say yes, will you leave me alone?”

Kris didn’t reply, just watched as Cassidy put the sunglasses back on, trying to relax a little on his seat. He knew it was pointless to try to hide the truth from Kris at this point obviously, but this was also maybe one of the worst possible times she could have actually brought this up with him. Whatever he said, it was either not going to convince her, or she was just going to keep on asking more questions, no matter what. And Cassidy just really didn’t want to think about all of this right now.

“…Sorry.”

Cassidy glanced in her direction, watching Kris’ eyes land on her lap, her fingertips tracing the folds of her jeans as she was trying to find a direction to take this conversation. Cassidy sighed again, shaking his head a little. “It’s fine. Or whatever.”

“Sorry,” she muttered again, reflecting his sigh with a quiet one of her own. “I just got excited. We’ve been speculating about this a lot with the guys and, well…”

Her voice trailed off, but Cassidy just nodded a little. Obviously the lies he had been telling had been easy to read through, honestly he was pretty sure the only reason why Kris was the one thinking along the right lines was because of Chuck and Trent’s denial about the situation, which was probably also why she was the first one confronting him and not either of them. He couldn’t blame her though, not only because she was right, but this was obviously a fairly big deal. Big enough to potentially disrupt the group dynamic even, especially if they found out who it exactly was that Cassidy was involved with.

“…You’re right though.”

Kris looked back up at him, blinking blankly at him a couple of times as she was registering his words in her brain. Cassidy just shrugged. He had no real reason to hide it from her if she had already figured it out up to this point. Denying her the truth only to hopefully eventually bring it up again wasn’t going to leave pretty marks. “But you can’t tell them, okay? We are not…”

He stopped to think about it for a moment, shaking his head slightly. “I’m not ready for that yet.”

For what it was worth, Kip obviously seemed to want to take the next step sooner or later, way earlier than he was ready for it honestly. Cassidy understood his side of things, but then again, Kip didn’t seem to have as much hanging here as he did. He hated to say it, but Kip seemed to have much more supportive friends in this case than he did. He never complained about anyone around him probing him for extra details about his life or the times he didn’t spend around them like the people around Cassidy seemed to do. And he knew Kip loved to complain, so this wasn’t just a thing he didn’t talk to Cassidy about. It just didn’t happen at all, or even nearly to the degree it happened almost on a weekly basis at this point with Cassidy.

He sighed. “I’m not ready for that yet.”

Kris nodded her head, sending him a little encouraging smile. “Of course. Again, sorry, I got a little carried away there. Just… When you’re comfortable, okay? I would love to hear all about it. For support, not for gossip. Obviously.”

Cassidy chuckled a little, glad not only for Kris’ immediate understanding but her lighthearted way of trying to lighten up the mood. “Sure.”

“Just,” she started, eyes trailing off as she glanced around the room, slightly awkwardly trying to look at anything but Cassidy in the moment, “You don’t have to answer, of course, but… Why?” His eyes narrowed at her behind the sunglasses, Kris just shrugging a little. “Why aren’t you ready? Why is this a secret?”

He had a million answers to it that he could give to her. So many ways to say it, so many ways not to. A lie for every truth he had in him. Instead he just motioned vaguely with one lazy hand around him, watching Kris raise a brow at him. Cassidy wasn’t sure what kind of an answer she had been expecting after all that, but apparently it wasn’t really this. But the look in her eyes still told him that she got it.

“…Is it the guys?”

Neither of them was sure why Kris was even asking, as soon as the question left her lips the answer was very obvious. Even more so as almost on cue the locker room door opened again, the two people in question walking into the room, Trent following up in Chuck’s leading footsteps. As both Kris and Cassidy turned towards them Chuck froze on his spot, glancing between the two of them, it being very obvious that they had interrupted something important here.

“Sorry, bad timing?”

Both of them just shook their heads, not answering anything beyond that despite the suspicious look they gathered from Chuck.

---------------------------

He knocked on the locker room door, but was met only with silence. This was expected though and it didn’t falter his plan as Cassidy just pushed the door open, not being surprised in the slightest to find the other man sitting there, sulking all by himself. He was right where he was promised to be.

As he heard the door open, Kip glanced towards it, obviously annoyed as he had wanted to be left alone for a while, a genuine look of surprise crossing his face at the sight of his boyfriend instead of one his stablemates like he had been obviously expecting.

“Clemen--”

Kip stopped himself before the affectionate nickname slipped from his mouth, quickly turning away to hide the slight shade of pink that climbed on his cheeks. Cassidy did his best to pretend he didn’t see any of it as he walked up to the other man, in his head trying to decide if Kip was being so bashful about it because of what had transpired in the ring and he was hurt about it, or if this was about trying to not show such affection towards him in public. He wasn’t entirely sure, but it was probably a bit of both.

“What do you want? Didn’t you already mock me enough out there?”

Cassidy glanced down at the ice pack he was holding in one hand that Kip had obviously missed him carrying, carefully extending it towards Kip, placing it against the side of his face. The Brit flinched away a little, but as Cassidy insisted on holding it against him, Kip hesitantly accepted it into his own hands.

“I didn’t mean to hit you that hard. Sorry.”

Kip muttered something that sounded like an insult back at him, still refusing to look back at Cassidy. The blond observed him for a moment, finally taking a seat on the bench next to him. Kip didn’t look at him, to be honest Cassidy was pretty sure he turned a little bit more away from him actually. The blond opted out to observe his hands as the stiff silence fell in the room between the two of them, it being obvious that some of this tension needed to be relieved one way or another.

Cassidy slowly removed his sunglasses, letting out a quiet sigh.

“Look, I’m sorry. About last night.”

“No you’re not.”

Cassidy’s eyes narrowed as Kip finally turned back towards him, his eyes still wandering around to everything but to look directly at the blond. At this point Cassidy wasn’t entirely sure if the slight reddish color on his face was a blush or a potential bruise starting to form on the side of his face where the Orange Punch had landed earlier.

“You’re not sorry about what happened. I am. I’m the one that was out of line.”

Leaning forward on his seat, Kip leaned his arms against his legs, letting out a sigh. “You were right. It would be all too weird and suspicious if we did any of that. Sorry for even suggesting it.”

He ran a free hand through his hair, shaking his head a little. “I’m just… You know. Fucking tired of all of this.”

As Cassidy remained silent, both of them knowing he didn’t need to say anything to confirm to Kip that he knew exactly what he was talking about, Kip just shook his head again, turning his eyes away from Cassidy.

“I just… I don’t want to just be your dirty little secret forever.”

“You’re not my dirty little secret.” Kip snorted quietly, choosing to sulk a little beyond the shadow of the ice pack again, to avoid eye contact with Cassidy. “Well, you are a secret and definitely dirty, but you know what I mean.”

“Sure do make me feel like I am.”

Cassidy knew this game Kip was playing and how he had the way to twist his words into the way he wanted to hear them, that being nothing but the negative in this case, so he just remained silent, letting the Brit continue talking.

“I hate tiptoeing around everyone else about this or my life in general. I hate it that I can’t just find you and hold you or your hand when I want to, that I can’t just push you against the lockers to kiss you. I hate going home alone and having to wait a week to come back to you for barely a full day before repeating the lonely cycle all over again. I fucking hate all of this.”

Kip let out a soft chuckle, sounding almost disappointed in his own line of thinking. “Fuck, I hate you for making me fall in love enough to keep on doing this.”

Cassidy observed him from the side, knowing full well that everything Kip was saying was genuine, as much as it hurt to think about. Mostly because he felt the same way himself, and not only seeing but also hearing that Kip was willingly making these sacrifices because Cassidy had asked him to, every word felt like a little stab to his heart that he was just forced to take because this was his own doing.

“I know why we are doing this, but…”

“It’s tiring. I know.”

Kip finally looked directly at him, scanning the clearly tired face of the blond, almost as if to try to find some hints of insincerity, like these were just words he was saying because he knew they were ones that Kip wanted to hear, but he came short in his search.

“I don’t like this either. But it’s… It’s for the best right now.”

Kip sighed, but he nodded, knowing Cassidy wasn’t playing him just for fun. They both knew how exhausting this situation was, and the reasons for them keeping it this way, despite how it was affecting everything. They had talked about this a lot, but it didn’t make it much better for Kip, if he was being honest. He couldn’t recount the times he had straight up told Cassidy ‘fuck what anyone else thinks’, but he had still kept his promise to keep it all under the wraps. For him.

He felt a hand land on his tight, Kip’s eyes traveling down to it, a soft smile crossing his lips as he reached his free hand for it, intertwining their fingers together before squeezing Cassidy’s hand carefully.

“The fucking things I do for you,” he sighed, hearing a soft chuckle coming from Cassidy. His thumb carefully petted Kip’s, Cassidy just observing their hands sitting in Kip’s lap before he spoke up again.

“I actually wanted to talk to you about something. Other than apologizing for your face.”

Kip glanced up at him, Cassidy not returning the look as he kept looking at their hands, a little smile playing on his lips as he pondered through his words.

“About what you said last night. I think I might actually take you up on that trip offer.”

Kip’s brows furrowed at him, but Cassidy just kept smiling. “Maybe it would be a good thing. Not for the potential rumors but…” He looked up, directing the smile straight at Kip, leaving no room for any misinterpretations of what he was saying. “Maybe it would be really good for us.”

Cassidy could feel Kip’s grip of his hand tighten a little, a barely noticeable amount, but the man never broke eye contact with him, looking almost surprised at his words. “Really? You… You do want to go with me?”

Cassidy shrugged, but kept on smiling. “Sure, why not? Like you said, we should spend more time together, and having this little getaway could do us some good. See if we can… Hold this together for more than two days at a time or whatever. And without having to worry about someone catching us.”

In a one fell swoop Kip dropped the ice pack from his face and his hand, with his now free hand reaching for Cassidy, pulling him closer by the back of his head for a kiss that was almost as big of a surprise to him as Cassidy’s statement just now was to Kip. Cassidy chuckled softly against the kiss, eventually returning it before Kip cut it short by pulling away again, looking away almost instantly as a shade of regret crossed his face as he realized what he had just done.

“Shit, sorry, I-I didn’t mean to. You just… Really surprised me.”

Cassidy just shrugged it off with a smile. It wasn’t uncharacteristic for Kip to act this affectionate, especially when put on a spot, but they had been extra careful and making sure such acts of affection weren’t done in public, which was the part that caught him off guard. Cassidy reached his hand for Kip’s face, landing it on his cheek, turning him back towards him.

Him blushing like that was so endearing to Cassidy.

“Your friends won’t bother us for a while. It’s alright.”

A soft smile crossed Kip’s lips, but Cassidy was sure he could see a little smirk also tucking in the corners of his mouth as Kip registered his words.

“Oh thank god.”

Before Cassidy could reply, Kip grabbed a handful of his shirt, pulling him close for another kiss, this time clearly intentional enough that Kip wasn’t going to let him go any time soon. Which suited him just fine, as Cassidy didn’t want him to, allowing his free hand to run through Kip’s hair as he let the Brit deepen the kiss.

#fic #character: orange cassidy #character: kip sabian #ship: orangekip #character: kris statlander #aew fanfiction #wrestling fanfiction

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