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#i just love how they think to call each other first when they need somebody there with them
peakyblcnders · 23 hours ago
Pairing: James Potter x Gryffindor!Reader
Warning: Fluff
Summary: A bunch of fluff headcanon’s for James Potter and Gryffindor reader.
A/N: I think I’ll do fluff headcanon’s for all the Marauders and HP boys. As well as for all different houses.
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‣  James will wait for you outside of the dorms in the morning so he can walk with you to breakfast.
‣  If you’re forced to stay at Hogwarts for the holiday’s then so will James. Or he’d invite you to come stay with him and Sirius at his home.
‣  Dates to Hogsmeade where you guys just shop around and make jokes.
‣  James would ecstatic that you were placed in Gryffindor. Easily become an honorary Marauder.
‣  When he is sad he’d come to you and lay his head on your chest. Sometimes you’d play with his hair.
‣  You’d be at every game that James had for Quidditch. He’d call you his own personal cheerleader.
‣  Helping with pranks all throughout the year.
‣  The only one that James wouldn’t prank majorly. Can’t promise you won’t wake up to some surprise pranks over the years.
‣  You’d be really close with the Marauders.
‣ After your first time with James, he’d reassures you he loves every bit of you.
‣ When you two graduate, having a massive party with the Marauders and getting a little drunk.
‣ Drinking before the Owls because you’ve lost your mind studying.
‣  Euphemia would adore you as her own child. Making sure you’ve eaten a lot and always warm. Fleamont would easily become like a second father with his dad’s jokes and his relaxed personality.
‣  James would blush when anyone mentioned how smitten he was with you. Sirius wouldn’t stop teasing him about how much he loves you.
‣  James being the first to say I love you.
‣  Secret dates in the Forbidden Forest and the library.
‣  Using James’s Invisibility Cloak whenever you wanted because he trusted you.
‣ Taking the map with you to find James whenever you needed.
‣ James always making time with you because nothing was more important than his girl/boy/significant other.
‣ James would propose at your favourite place. Wherever that may be. You’d be a crying mess and he couldn’t help but shed a few tears.
‣ James would cry more at the wedding than you. Not that you could blame him, you’re amazing.
‣ When you guys decide to start a family you spend days together dedicing names and painting the nursery.
‣ Getting a dog eventually and joking around with Sirius that you two love this dog more than him.
‣ James freaking out when you two become parents. You keeping your cool cause somebody needs to even if your mentally freaking out.
‣ Taking your puppy and Harry to the park. Having cute picnics.
‣ James having many many pet names for you. You having just a few.
‣ When Harry begins to get ready to go to Hogwarts, James crying.
‣ James telling Harry about the Invisibility Cloak and the Marauders Map much to your dismay.
‣ James and you always being supportive of each other and carrying that on for Harry. Making sure he knows you’d love him even if he was placed in Slytherin.
‣ When Harry graduates, you two remember your graduation.
56 notes · View notes
no-droids · 7 months ago
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gif credit: @javier-pena
Part Eighteen of the Rough Day Series
Rating: Explicit
Word Count: 19.5K
Warnings: SMUT, religion kink (maybe?), squirting, consensual stalking/pursuing, canon-typical violence, mention of underage drinking, uhh I believe that’s it but as always, let me know if I’ve forgotten anything please!
A/N: Hey yall!!!  So I know this chapter has been a long time coming and though I’m not completely satisfied with it, I hope it brings a little happiness to you for an hour or two while you read!  School has been kicking my ass and I’ve been in a bit of an emotional slump recently, but I pulled a few all-nighters to post this on time and it’s finally finished!  Thank you to everyone who has stuck with me and sent me encouraging words over the past month or so, I hope you enjoy the end of the Sanctuary arc💕
Also like last time, part 2 of my collaboration with @followwhereshegoes will be posted after the chapter!!  As a reminder, sweet girl is a reader insert and every imagining of her will be different—this is Lisa’s interpretation of her and her artwork is absolutely gorgeous, so please go give her a follow!
Day 5–11:13am:
You zone out again in the early morning, but that happens a lot.  Din always keeps you up so late, all the time, and without any caf here, the rising sun just makes your eyes droop instead of flutter brighter and wider.  You helped a bunch of younglings find their way into their robes when it was still dark out, tying sashes and fitting masks while holding back your yawns.  The walk into Nariss is close to three hours, probably more with all these tiny little legs, and you almost forget to change into your new digs before everyone grabs breakfast.
Even though your ragtag entourage leaves for Nariss just as soon as everyone finishes eating, you don’t reach the city until nearly lunchtime.  Mostly because the kids walk about as fast as the elderly holy women chaperoning the trip.  You and Naydee lag behind the group, forcing yourself to meander slow as fuck when you nearly sprinted this same exact path just a few days ago.  On the way there, you listen to children of all sorts sing happily as they walk, chatter about their excitement for the parade, complain about wearing the fabric mask they made themselves, and more than once, somebody takes a tumble onto the ground and is left in teary sniffles and dirt stained clothes.  Likely for this reason, the robes are designed to be two pieces—a long tunic with a hood and a separate pants portion to prevent tripping instead of a draping skirt, but the smallest ones are clumsy and find a way to fall anyways.
It’s a colorful bunch—a chaotic rainbow of babies running around, and you share easy conversation with your new friend about the plans for the day until she asks something that makes you nearly trip and join the dirty robe club.
“Sister Drya said your family is meeting you in the city,” she tells you, ignoring your immediate subtle toe stub and the awkward shuffle you have to do to make up for it.  “There’s going to be lots of people downtown, I’m worried it might be hard for them to find you.”
Your heart thuds in your chest and you feel a bit short of breath at being abruptly confronted with the need to lie, but at the same time, you kind of love it.  Having a secret, hiding the truth from others, and just the reminder that you’re almost guaranteed to see Din and the baby before midnight pours warmth and tingles through your tummy.  Everything together is a hit of spice, filling you with a kind of excitement that used to be foreign to you.  Having fun, experiencing new things isn’t quite over yet, but home is calling and you miss it with every fiber of your being.
“I don’t think so,” you eventually respond, hoping she can see your kind smile and the sentiment it carries even as light, shimmery fabric wraps right around your mouth.  “If I disappear, you’ll know why.”
Naydee’s eyes crinkle in the corners to match yours.  “Hopefully you’ll be able to see the fireworks first,” she nudges you, her skin glowing against the pale cream fabric she has wrapped around her own mouth and the hood laying delicately over her braids.  “They start at eight.”
The fireworks, you almost forgot.  You know what?  Today is a good day.  You hear yourself think the full sentence multiple times, and the words put a spring in your step after every single one.  The road gradually becomes wider and filled with more travelers, and you feel safe in the back.  Like some kind of sheepdog bringing up the rear of this migrating cluster of children, making sure none of them drift off by themselves and start eating grass or something.
Surprisingly, the kids manage to be relatively patient and well-behaved once they’re in line at the gates.  The Sisters shuffle them along one by one as everyone moves up slowly, taking even longer to get into the city than it did a few days ago.  The entrance is packed already—so many people visiting for the festival, and they’re all dressed in costumes or robes of sorts, or at least a mask.  Most are beautifully crafted, but some manage to look slightly scary even with the soft springtime color schemes.  It’s a completely different world, a different life for each person as you pass them by.  Your stomach is starting to growl by the time you finally make it to the front, and luckily the guards just let the kids through without any ceremony.  Just you and the rest of the caretakers in light robes need to hold still for the retinal scan, matching each other perfectly except for differing shades of fabric, skin, and eye color.  Once the gates open for you and you step through, though… it’s… Maker.
Extravagant, magnificent are both words.  Floral is another.
It’s like they hung up bouquets wherever they could think to fit them, and this is just the edge of the city.  As the group moves through the streets and closer to downtown, it becomes more and more overwhelming.  The air itself is a warm fragrance wafting all around you, sunshiney and breezy and perfect, flowers of all kinds lining the modern buildings and archways like they were planted there from the very beginning and it just took this long to bloom between the cracks in the concrete.  You wish you had names for all of them so you could list them—the only thing you can offer is the color and vague descriptions of the ones that stick out to you.  Tiny yellow ones that are so small, they need to be bunched all together in massive quantities to even resemble normal flowers.  Up overhead, elaborate arrangements of enormous blue and purple and pink ones, wrapping around each other and hanging down from rooftops.  Some don’t even have petals, it’s like they’re big green cups that are big enough to hold things inside them.  You’re fascinated by every single one, wanting to stop and smell them all individually but needing to keep up with the large group and not allow any stragglers to be left behind, including yourself.
About an hour later, when you’re almost in the middle of the city and there are people everywhere, it’s time to eat lunch.  There isn’t much to it because of how expensive it is, and you’d normally feel bad for accepting the small meal each one of the children gets, but you donated all of your credits to the Keja and left absolutely zero for yourself.  Good intentions, terrible idea.  Still, you pull your mask down and snack on some deliciously fried food, trying not to eye anyone else’s platter after you finish yours.  It’s so good and it’s gone in an instant; you couldn’t even say what exactly it was besides which stall you got it at.  Whether it’s just the brilliant atmosphere or if the food on this moon is really just that good, you’re not really sure, but you’re still slightly hungry afterwards with no extra money to sneak a snack.
Soon after, the kids all line up to get their faces painted, or whatever portion of their face is visible behind the cloth masks and hoods they’ve got on, and music blares from at least four different directions and none of the songs are even in the same language.  Depending on the part of town, it seems like the celebrations are all different.  It makes sense, considering most if not all of these individuals were victims of the Empire’s wrath, spread far and wide across the galaxy.  Here, they’re free, and they want everyone to know it.  Spring festivals of some sort are likely common for most cultures, at least those from planets with seasons, not like Arvala-7 where it was arid and hot year-round, and you’re assuming there are multiple things being celebrated today depending on which street you live on.  There’s chanting in different tongues, dancing and drums, outfits and masks from different cultures every single time you look.
At some point, the children spot a crowded street with flowery rails set up all along them, and you stand behind the tiny heads while everyone waits for the parade to begin.  You think your heart has just been beating slightly faster than normal all day today, but when you finally hear the sound of sirens blaring in the distance and cheers begin to pour out from the gathered crowd, it kicks up and you feel like you’re just as wide eyed at the spectacle as the waist-high babies all huddled together up against the railing.
A flurry of people and things pass in slow succession.  First, New Republic officers with their blaring holobikes, bright orange as always.  Then come large groups of people walking behind banners in languages you can’t read, some of them waving, some of them making different sounds and songs.  Bands marching in formation, dancers in dresses and masks and gorgeous flowers in their hair like crowns, and then brilliant hovering vehicles decorated in bright colors and festive depictions.  The craftsmanship and cultural significance is stunning to witness, it’s so insanely loud, there’s so much going on, and yet…
Through it all, you think of Din.  No matter the faces, the sights you see.  There’s someone juggling.  There’s either a very tall man and woman walking together or they’re both on stilts.  There are enormous balloons being led through the air, people are riding atop an assortment of animals you’ve never seen before, there are traditional costumes and spectacular stunts being performed.  Stalls with games and prizes line the stretches of concrete on the cross streets, people are laughing and celebrating and drinking in equal parts, everything is so lively and festive and fun, and yet, though it all, you think of Din.  Him and the baby, they’re always in the forefront of your mind, occupying your thoughts and making your tummy stir more and more as the time passes like the parade in front of you.  You don’t think this environment would ever be his favorite, and in some far away galaxy, perhaps if you lived other lives together and called a beautiful moon exactly like this home, then you might have to drag him out to see all the with you and the kid every year.  You’d have to bat your eyelashes and kiss his cheek and snuggle up to him all nice and pretty like, and he’d probably grumble and complain about it while wrapping his arms around you—all the people and the noise, sweet girl—but he’d go.  For you, he’d go.
Your thoughts suddenly stop short and you blink for a second.  Why… Why was that scene so vivid?  So wistful?  You used to preoccupy yourself with fantasies about Din all the time, back before you even knew him as Din.  But in every single one, it was sexual and likely came from a place of boredom, a lack of external stimulation.  Here you are amidst bustling surroundings, and you’re daydreaming about domesticity with him.  Why?  You want to travel the galaxy, right?  You want to see things you’ve never seen before, right?
For some reason, you think of the floor, and you miss it.
Day 5—5:04pm:
It’s late afternoon at this point and nobody can find the teens.
More people have made their way into the city and it’s starting to get extremely fucking crowded, especially where you are downtown, and the handful of them must’ve slipped away with all the excitement happening and how difficult it is to keep the young ones together now that the parade is over.  You don’t know how long they’ve been gone—one second they were walking around just slightly detached from the rest of you, you assumed because the boisterous younglings fucked with their cool vibe, and then the next Naydee is gasping out to you that they’re gone.
“Sister Drya is going to kill me,” she hisses, her dark eyebrows furrowed in self-admonishment and stress.  So many fucking people here, you know her pain.  “I was supposed to be chaperoning them, they were just here—”
She shakes her head under the loose, cream-colored hood, groaning and then speeding up her gait to catch up with the woman in charge, but you decide to grab her wrist before she can relay the bad news.  
“I can go find them,” you offer, speaking as low as you can with the blaring noise surrounding you.  “Before anyone knows they’re missing.  Is there a way to convince everybody to stay in one spot for a little while?  You won’t get in trouble, but I need to know how to find you again.”
Naydee’s eyes widen in surprise, and even though it’s likely a bit out of character for you, you have a feeling it’ll be a deceptively easy task.  Even with the masses right now and how atrociously big this city is, you already have a general idea of where they’re likely to be.  Besides, you’re not even sure your absence will be noticed if Naydee is the only one who figured out the teens were gone—the other Sisters can thrive without you while missing anyone else would be noticeable, and you owe your new friend a thousand favors for helping you out these past few days.  The least you can do is save her from the scolding of one of the scariest old ladies you've ever met.
“Be as quick as you can,” she finally agrees.  It’s a lot of trust to put into you, but you’ve had experience in reading the most unreadable man in the entire galaxy, some teenagers shouldn’t pose too much of a problem.  “If you’re not back in thirty minutes or somebody notices, I’ll have to say something.”
You nod, silently breaking away from the group without another word.  You think you can hear her announce to everyone that it might be best to eat dinner now to skip any long lines later—smart—but you’re out of their hearing range and line of sight almost immediately.
Day 5–5:17pm:
“Really?”  You raise an eyebrow since they won’t be able to see the way your mouth is twisted up underneath your mask, crossing your arms and tapping your foot against the ground to further illustrate just how not fucking impressed you are.
Seven teenagers freeze, and slowly—depending on how much bravery they can individually muster—they turn around on their stools to face you.  The atmosphere in the tavern is bustling and cheery, booze being passed around a large crowd that laughs and mingles, but your vibe is stone cold and quiet.  The contrast doesn’t feel wrong on you like it normally would; the negative and disapproving energy you’re emitting makes you feel powerful, untouchable, armored and strong.
“How did you find us so fast?”  One of the twin boys squeaks out behind a light blue robe, sounding worried.
“Had a hunch,” you grumble, glaring sternly at each of them in turn.  Your tone is dry, your voice sits lower in your throat when you’re pissed off.  All you had to do was look for the closest bar that doesn’t have any orange jumpsuits poking around waiting to card underage younglings, it wasn’t that difficult.  “You’re not exactly unpredictable.”
“Are you gonna rat us out?”  The other twin asks you, in a voice that’s oddly deep compared to his brother.
“I should,” you snap, quickly reaching out to push their drinks away.  “I should let Sister Drya rain down her holy fury on your asses, got good people all twisted up over you for nothing and I’m missing dinn—”
You don’t know why, but you suddenly cut yourself off and jerk upright, spinning around.
The sounds of glasses clinking and boisterous voices fill the bar, but they seem to fade out for a second.  Your eyes fly around the crowded space, your heart lodged in your throat and looking for anything reflective.  Every flash you see is a false alarm—belt buckle, wristwatch, cocktail shaker—
He’s here… isn’t he?
Only, there’s nothing.  Nothing is out of place, nothing jumps out at you the way you’re assuming it will.  You’re braced taut and ready to bolt at the first sign of a chase, but it never comes.
It’s so… unexpected, this feeling.  It’s not like you’re being hunted anymore, but instead, you’re the hunter.  You’re feeling the weight of him from this far away and it’s like he’s calling for you to come find him, teasing the wild adrenaline rush you get from just feeling his presence, as if he absolutely knows it happens.  Whispering soft in your ear and then vanishing the second you’re able to turn around, like he’s here but he’s not.  Playing with you from so far away.
This… this is a taunt.  
The whole thing at the inn was leagues below this, that was rudimentary.  Teasing, getting even, having fun with each other, whatever you want to call that, that’s what it was.  This is scarily sophisticated.  Fluid and practiced and the best kind of frightening, stark and dangerous compared to the carefree and upbeat setting surrounding you.  You’re not making it up, it’s not just you being paranoid.  You know him with your eyes closed.  You know he’s here somewhere watching you, just like you know the starlight that streaks across the pitch black horizon of hyperspace.  Not because you can see it, not really, not directly.  But because by it, even in the vastest and darkest and emptiest of voids, you’re suddenly able to see everything else.
“You okay, Nerida?”
The volume gradually comes back up and you blink, suddenly remembering where you are, who else is with you.  The chatter becomes slightly louder than it seemed before.
“Yeah,” you eventually say, slightly airy while continuing to stare emptily at the crowded room.  He’s not here, you don’t think, not anymore at least.  But you’re not stupid, you know what this means.  You’re already caught, there’s nothing you can conceivably do that will delay the reunion for the next—you look down and pull the loose sleeve up to check your communicator—seven fucking hours, there’s no way.  He’ll pull back and follow you, keep up with you from a distance and then snatch you away right when you let your guard down.  You at least need to get the kids back to their guardians before that can happen, though.
“Let’s go,” you quietly tell the group of foundlings, grabbing elbows and hauling them out of their stools.  “Naydee was the only one who knew that you were gone when I left.  Here’s to hoping she managed to keep it that way.”
Day 5–5:32pm:
Against all odds, you’re able to rally the wayward teens and successfully lead them through shoulders that are beginning to move closer together as the crowd grows and grows.  You stay towards the back and don’t look behind you once—not only do you not want to give the younglings an unnecessary reason to become paranoid or to question your actions, but you can still feel Din lingering.  Moving like a shadow, probably fitting in perfectly with the masked festival-goers, nothing drawing any attention to him with all the spectacular sights and noise occurring.
Soon you return to the same spot from before, and you and the teenagers seamlessly integrate yourselves back into the rest of the group without anyone noticing a thing is out of place.  When you move to stand beside her, Naydee’s bone-deep sigh of relief is palpable even behind the concealing fabric; she squeezes your hand incredibly tight in a silent gesture of thanks, and then pulls something from the deep pockets of her robe and passes it to you sneakily.  A purple fruit.  She must’ve saved it for you.
Maker, fuck yes.  It’s not much but it’s more dinner than any of the seven troublemakers get, but Naydee quietly assures you they’ll be able to eat something once they return to the Keja around midnight, just not the tasty expensive treats they’re selling at the vendors.  As the sun goes down, you try not to stain your pretty fabric a deep maroon as you chomp and feel your lips start to curl upwards.  It sounds so fucking stupid when you put it like this, but you keep going back to Din and revelling in knowing that he’s so close, like you’re just mentally checking in on him.  You don’t get the sensation by thinking, though—more like you just focus really hard on your heart and feel him there just a second afterwards.
Is that how pure, stupid, shameless love feels when you’re completely entrenched in it?  It’s not like it’s surrounding you, it’s not suffocating you or making you float.  It’s just a thing.  Like… a thing inside your chest, a physical thing you can search for and find, something you can point to on your body and say it’s right here, this is where my love for him lives.  Right at the bottom of your heart, right where it curves and beats strong when other hearts meet flat at sharp angles.  You do it over and over again, reconfirming its existence every single time.  You don’t know what else you’d call it.  Love is the only word.  To love, to know.  To hold in the heart.
Soon, you start to notice that people are slowly moving around your stationary group.  You look up and watch the crowd begin to walk, some of them giving soft smiles to the cute children as they pass by, but all of them following the same unspoken direction.
“Where is everyone going?”  You ask Naydee, standing on your tiptoes to watch the crowd migrate like a giant system, an organism or mechanism of thousands (or tens of thousands?) of smaller moving parts all traveling in tandem.  It’s fascinating—you’ve been to crowded places, you know what it looks like when a lot of people are packed into one area, but you’ve never seen what it looks like when they all move together.  They would normally be bumping into each other, slipping in between, fighting and never really getting anywhere, interacting individually and thinking separately.  Now they’re progressing in one single direction, so many with the same mindset and understanding of what comes next.  A second parade, almost, with New Republic officers directing the flow of pedestrians as they pass.
“The eastern part of the city!”  Naydee yells over the noise and points, and beyond her extended finger, you can barely see the light of a dusky body of water in the distance beyond the buildings.  “The fireworks are going to go off over the bay, but it takes awhile to get there!”
“Is…”  You blink for a second, suddenly caught off guard, trying to think back to the holomap the concierge pulled up at the front desk of the inn.  Surely you would’ve noticed it, but your sudden childlike hope makes you ask anyway.  “Is it part of an ocean?”
Naydee shakes her head.  “A really big lake!”
Your shoulders drop just the slightest bit in disappointment but still, you ache to see it.  You can’t even imagine—the fireworks are likely going to reflect across the water, giving everyone double the view.  And luckily, after all the children and caretakers are individually accounted for, you start to behind the slow-moving crowd towards the docks you know lie beyond.  
Naydee scurries ahead to keep the kids together, ushering them forward and preventing any drunk passer-bys from accidentally stepping on them, and you quietly bring up the very rear of the entourage.  You take the time to observe more than anything, walk in the back and experience instead of trailblaze.  So many people, so many stories to be told, so many differences and diversity around you.  Your face is partially concealed and you don’t move your head too much, just your eyes.  They flick around to take in everything, the crowd thinning little by little as you make it out of the confined space downtown.  You’re able to make out full bodies and outfits again instead of just heads and shoulders, allowing you to breathe just a bit easier under your mask.
And then at one point—and it’s almost a little startling because it happens all at once—the organizers must decide that the sun has officially gone down, because the lights come on.  All of a sudden, paper lanterns and bulbs flicker into existence all around you and the world decides it wants to glow, glint and twinkle from the inside out.  They’re everywhere, draping across rooftops and tangled around street signs and stuffed into the flower bouquets overhead, raining soft colors down on everything.  You’re in complete awe, trying to keep walking but also needing to look at as much as fucking possible in the suddenly luminescent city.  It’s so colorful, so vernal and warm and you feel like you’re… Like when you took a shower on the Crest for the first time and spent a few happy moments just playing with the water and soap for your own enjoyment, it’s as if all the brilliant rainbow of colors the bubbles would make under the fluorescent light decided to surround you at the same time.  You’re inside stained glass, blinking at the flowers and wondering if Din can even smell the air or if it’s filtered, processed and reduced to nothing under the helmet.
And that’s when you see him.
But with the way your chest rapidly constricts and you can count your heart beats as they pound, blaring white noise through your ears and adrenaline through your veins, it’s like he's just allowing it to happen.  You immediately understand that you don’t have fucking anything the second your eyes land on him; this isn’t a heads up that you caught wind of early, it’s not a gift or an advantage you’ve incidentally gained over him that you should be thankful for.  Being able to see him directly like this, being able to make out all these fucking details from this far away…  This just feels like you’re being informed of the endgame right before it comes.  If you were anyone else, if you were a real bounty and this was a real hunt, his armor glinting and reflecting the lanterns overhead would feel like a knife you're about to be on the wrong side of.
You have a decision to make, very quickly.  Either keep in this same direction, head straight towards him and just pretend like you are who you’re dressed as, a random caretaker for a bunch of rowdy foundlings during a spring festival on Nariss, or disappear.  Drop back, move through the crowd and use the distance you have between you right now as your only hope of getting away in time.  Neither one gives you a particular advantage—your chances of being caught have already skyrocketed exponentially just being able to see the reflection in his armor, the hovering shield at his side with big black eyes… staring directly at you.
You almost trip over your pantlegs, gasping.  Baby.  He beams at you and you think he calls out through the passing crowd, his tiny arms extending out, and your chest feels like you’re pulling organs as if they were muscles, cramping up and seizing with emotion.  You want to run to them even though you’re meant to be running from them, call out over the noise and wave even though you’re not supposed to.  You want to hold the kid again, squish his little forehead with kisses, walk around with Din’s hand pressed against your lower back and see the fireworks with him.
Your hands clutch at the draping fabric covering your chest, pulling and twisting it uncertainly.  What do you do, what do you do?
No matter what, you know it’s over.  Keep your head down and try to move past him, or break away from your group and try to escape—both are different paths that lead to the same result.  What’s the point of running when he’s the one chasing you?  The heart-pounding thrill is the only reason you’re even considering it, but his body stands so tall amongst the crowd, not moving while people ebb and flow like a river passing around him.
Except then you can hear his voice repeat the last thing he said to you in person as if he says it directly into the comm in your ear.  When you do see me… try to outrun.
You should run—run, it’s better than just hoping he doesn’t see you when you already know he does.
Out of a trillion different possibilities, you soon realize that there is exactly one situation in which this could turn out in your favor.  You can immediately picture the scenario in your mind, but there’s just too many variables to conceivably rely on getting them all right.  This maybe has a… two percent chance of working?  Maybe?  Everything would have to go perfectly, just fucking flawlessly, but what other choice do you have?  Two percent is better than whatever odds you’re dealing with now.
You walk silently behind the group of foundlings as you approach closer and closer, keeping your head purposefully down as they skip and giggle and dance ahead.  He knows you’re here—he has to know, you’re counting on him knowing.  Walk right in front of him, pretend like you don’t see, make sure you keep left.  Keep left, keep left, keep your head down, keep your head down—
A leather glove suddenly catches hold of your wrist hard enough to tug you backwards.
Your gasp is audible over the sound of the crowd and you spin around, jerking your head up to look at him in fear.  Your heart slams as the beskar reflects your mask and hood back at you—you’re terrified and it shows, you can see it in your eyes.
You quickly try to yank your hand away, even as your index finger stretches up towards the communicator around his wrist.
“Miss Nerida?”  A child’s voice cries, and then small hands grab at you from behind as you bury the urge to actually fight him.  Your instincts are demanding you attack when his grip is this strong, but you just whine and struggle, slapping weakly at him with your free hand and feeling more of the younglings begin to pull at you, their high pitched voices calling more and more attention to the scene.
Your gaze flicks to the side, suddenly landing on a pair of New Republic officers helping direct the thousands of moving bodies from the closest street corner.  They’re looking at you, pointing and beginning to speak into their own comm units.  Din’s helmet snaps sideways to follow your gaze, and then he’s immediately dropping your wrist and stepping back, retreating as quickly as he caught you.  Though you don’t want to—though you don’t want to give yourself away even more, you want to pretend fully that he was a complete stranger and the children were right to try to help you get away—your eyes fall to your son in the hovering crib by his side and you feel yourself crumble just a bit.
Just a few more hours, kid.  A few more hours.
Children pull you away while your pursuers both disappear into the crowd, and you quickly turn to soothe the tiny babies instead of chasing after the one you miss so terribly.
“I’m alright,” you tell them, scooting them up and encouraging them to continue walking.  Blend in, blend in, don’t let anybody think anything is wrong.  “Come on, we’re fine, come on, we have to catch up.”
They take your lead as soon as one of the caretakers turns around and sees the small group crowding around you.  You think she asks what happened, but you just tell her a man mistook you for someone else and nothing more comes of it.  She’s able to settle the chaos better than you are, and by the time you’re continuing to travel forwards once more like nothing happened, the communicator suddenly flicks on in your ear.
“What did you do?”  He breathes out, his footsteps moving fast through his voice.  He’s traveling much quicker than you expected—is he still being followed?  The officers are gone from your sight, they might be going after him right now, weaving between bodies and calling out to the perpetually vanishing glint of armor as he navigates his way out of danger.
You look down at the comm on your wrist and your heart nearly soars with victory.  It worked.  It worked.  You just have to outlast a bit longer, don’t draw any extra attention to it—he’s preoccupied and he certainly doesn’t sound happy, but you hope that’ll be enough to make him slip.  Use his frustration to your advantage, let him think the only thing you were successful at was momentarily escaping him.
“The cops weren’t part of the plan,” you admit quietly, keeping your head down as your loose hood billows in the twilight breeze.  “Don’t get caught.”
There’s a few moments of just his breathing, his footsteps, and the noise floor humming through the comm, before he finally responds.  “You look beautiful.”
You stare unseeingly down at the concrete under your feet, still feeling your hand tingle from where he caught you.  The line abruptly mutes on his end and you just keep moving forward, onward, wanting to look back but knowing he’s already long gone.
Day 5–5:24pm:
Din is fucking furious.
He had you.  You were right there, right in front of him, and even if he hadn’t been subtly trailing you all day, seeing the red footsteps get covered and flicker out of existence just a few moments after you make them, he would’ve recognized you anywhere.  In black and white, in the fading light, with your face covered, children calling you by a different name and attaching themselves to you like they’ve known you forever—doesn’t matter, he would’ve known you.  Your eyes have always given you away, always so expressive and starry and soft, but able to see right through solid steel whenever you look at him.
But then you slipped from his grasp, and then more guards pushed him further and further away from you.  They must all be in constant communication, because every single jumpsuit he sees immediately spots him and starts following.  It’s fucking exhausting, and he thinks of you the whole time.
He waits in a dark alley with the kid and taps the side of the helmet a few times to bring up the time on his comm, but then relaxes just slightly when he sees the hour.  It’s earlier than he thought it was, he’ll be able to find you again.
Though, something tugs at him while he’s looking at the clock ticking away in front of his eyes, counting down each second that passes.  There was… a moment.  Back in the square, when he was holding onto you again, when you were looking directly into his once more—everything in his helmet— 
No, he shakes his head while the kid looks up at him curiously, it can’t be.  It was just a split second, it was gone so fast.
But he can’t get rid of it.  Though there’s no explanation, he thinks the display screen flickered.  The sky behind you looked different for a single frame, your footsteps weren’t bright red and visible anymore, your eyes weren’t grey and he stopped wondering what shade of fabric you and your friend decided to choose for you to wear.  It was silvery, he’s almost certain.  Like his armor, it only reflected the color of everything around it.
Color.  Everywhere.  Bursting for a blink of an eye, and then gone just as quick, before he could actually figure out what it really meant.
Day 5–6:59pm:
This water is quiet here, but it sparkles.
It doesn’t ever really get truly dark thanks to the enormous hanging moon and ringed gas giant dancing with Sanctuary II, constantly reflecting light back onto the surface and reacting with some of the trace chemicals up above the atmosphere, and you think the sky just might be the prettiest you’ve ever seen it.  Must have something to do with the equinox, the glimmering angles of light being played with by celestial bodies in this stunning system, but it’s a dream.  The Maker apparently couldn’t decide which colors he wanted tonight so he just splashed all of them together all at once, let them run and blend like ink in the gentle water below, like the various people who call this moon home.
That view in front of you, coupled with all the flowers and lanterns lining the streets behind you, and you’ve lost track of time the exact same way you hoped Din would.  You think you’ve stood for about an hour or so in this one spot, half-listening to excited chatter from the babies, mostly just gazing across the stretch of water and being able to just barely spot the docks in the distance, but it feels like it’s only been minutes.
You check your watch—the fireworks should be starting any second now.  You don’t know what to expect, just that in your experience, explosions tend to be loud.  You've decided you’re not going to plug your ears, though.  Tummy twisting with nerves and another inexplicable feeling you can’t quite put your finger on, you resolve to experience the unknown exactly the way it’s meant to be.  Fully, without worry or fear.
Then, lacking any warning or ceremony whatsoever, a single flare launches silent and high from one of the small boats skimming the bay, and the crowd seems to hold its collective breath as the dim light disappears into thin air for a split second, before—
It’s… quite possibly the most dazzling thing you think you’ve ever seen.  So shamelessly decorative just for the sake of it, not serving any other practical purpose besides celebration and visual spectacle, and you’ll probably never know another extravagance like it.  You grew up with dust pelting against tired eyes, you never thought they’d get to reflect such gorgeous bursts of color back up at the sky, glassy and childlike amongst a group of equally wide-eyed children.
As expected, a deafening boom follows closely behind the singular display, but just witnessing it is incredible enough to make you forget to brace yourself for the sound and you jump almost violently in response.  There comes a loud cheer from the people standing around you, a few delighted gasps and children who decide now is the best time to start crying, but then more flares begin to launch from the boats and the subsequent show will sear itself into your memory to replay over and over again.
Still, you think the endless sky and dark water below would have to light on fire to stop him from coming to mind.
You click the comm on, continuing to stare in stunned awe but wanting nothing more than to hear his voice right now, feel his hand rest on your lower back and the kid’s three fingers squeezing one of yours while the stars rain down from above.  You’re only continuing to run from him because it’s expected of you, that’s the reason you’re here, but it’s becoming harder and harder to argue with yourself.  “Do you always see in black and white?”
It takes him just a few seconds to respond, but he always does.  “Only when I’m tracking someone.”
The loud booms can be heard over the earpiece, happening maybe a second after they crack and sparkle above you.  You can’t tell if the latency is due to the electronics or if he’s just that far away from the source of the sound itself, but… you don’t think he is.  He feels close again, like he could just walk up right next to you any second, or maybe that’s just how he always feels now.
“Does that mean you haven’t seen the sky here?”  You ask after a moment.  This whole time, everything has been grey for him?
“I saw it,” Din murmurs, and even though it’s quiet and explosions are thundering loud enough to deafen more sensitive ears, his quiet voice somehow breaks through it all.  “When you left the Crest, I saw it behind you.”
For some reason, you suddenly feel like crying.  Whether it’s the way he phrases it or the sentiment in the words, you’re close to tears without even knowing why, looking up at the sky illuminating spectacularly.  He says it like he wasn’t the one who parked on this moon and told you to go on without him.  “Can you… turn it off for just a second?”
He takes a second, before clarifying for you.  “I turn it off and I lose your footprints.”
So that was the ultimatum.  He doesn’t want to turn it off until you’re back with him again.  Does he not understand?  Does he not know what you know?  Maybe you just happened to feel it first, this overwhelming physical sensation inside you whenever you think about him.  It’s like the exact opposite of a hole in your chest.  And it’s so odd, so counterintuitive.  Being comforted in his absence, feeling him with you when he isn’t.  Falling in love in the dark, knowing him without ever seeing him.
“You never needed them,” you say, reaching up to pull your mask down under your jaw and chin for a moment, wanting to freely breathe the freshwater and flowers while stars explode and fracture across the sky.  It’s a truth you’re acknowledging, something you’ll carry with you, something you fundamentally own at this point.  “You’d find me without the helmet.  And I’d find you.”
The fireworks continue to bleed into the water beneath them, multicolor splashes rippling into existence and disappearing just as quick.  You could’ve never imagined a more colorful, magnificent landscape—besides your waterfall on Naboo, of course.  That was a pure product of nature though, a place hidden away and untouched by people, completely sacred.  Light refracting against mist, natural glass that would shatter under your weight.  This is a celebration of life and family.  Loud in a different way, affecting you in a different way, but just as wonderful and touching.  A cultivated paradise, designed to be beautiful and safe only because they wanted it to be.
“Think so?”  He asks softly.  He sounds so deep and warm, but… a little distant.  You’re able to hear it in his words.  You don’t know why, though.  Doesn’t he believe you?  Perhaps… perhaps this isn’t The Way.  Perhaps this is part of a completely different oath, one where knowing and loving somebody isn’t the same thing as looking at their face, not at all.  Where you can have them exist entirely separate from each other, because this is love.  This is real, enduring, bone-deep love, and you haven’t ever seen his face, so how would he explain that?  How would the Mandalorians reconcile that?  You bear the mark of the mudhorn, you’ve moved through time and space with him, you’re a mother to his son, and you’ve never seen his face.  It defies both the Mandalorian oath and traditional understandings of love, or it meets them right in the middle, depending on how you look at it.
“I know so.”  For the first time, you think you might sound more confident and certain than he does.  Maybe he doesn’t fully get it yet, but then you suppose he’ll just have to trust you.  “Will you look at the sky?”
“I see it,” Din tells you, but you know he doesn’t.  Not the way you want him to.  And stars, you just want so many things for him, don’t you?  The sky, fresh air, water, light, food, rest.  You want him to see the galaxy the way you do—have a new appreciation for the gifts that are given just because you’re alive to experience them.  All the physics and mathematics aligned perfectly for it to happen—all the chemistry, the systems, the dynamics that dictate the universe, they all got together and crafted a world where you, him, and the kid all exist together at the same time.  You want him to know the significance of that.
“With color?”  You ask, knowing his answer before he seems to.
“I…”  Din wants to argue, or at least say it again.  He can’t or he’ll lose you, he already told you he doesn’t want to turn the setting off.  It’s such an unnecessary conflict, but you want to respect it so much that you’re willing to give up things of your own to make it happen.
“How do I fix it then?”  You whisper, so desperately wanting this one thing for him, this one grandeur to behold.  How do you fix this problem?  How do you convince him to look with you?  You’d offer to just go and find him instead of continuing to run away for the next few hours, but you know the show will be over soon and you don’t have much time left.  “Do you want me to come look for you?  It’ll be too late by then, you’re too far away.  Look at the sky.”
It’s silent for a moment—truly silent, even though colorful bombs are going off above the bay.  You don’t know why you’ve attached yourself to this so strongly, but it’s almost devastating when you don’t get a response.  You look away from the spectacle for the first time in an eternity, gazing unseeingly into the crowd of onlookers with a sudden sadness taking hold of you.  He won’t look, he’s too stubborn, he holds onto things too tightly.
But then, a flurry of flares start launching in rapid succession from the distant boats, screaming and crying on their way up and then igniting into showers of light, and the abrupt increase in activity manages to catch your attention once again.  This must be the end, they saved the best for last.  Every corner of the horizon flashes and sparks, and you’re mesmerized at how bright it is, how many colors they’ve managed to fit into one single frame.
“It’s beautiful,” comes his voice, and the smile that you break into feels just right for the brilliance of the view above you.  Maker, it is, isn’t it?  Now you can hear it—he sounds like he’s looking at it too, with color, in all its breathtaking glory, and you feel like you’re flying.  Like he picked you up and let you watch up close, like you can feel his armor under your fingers right now as he carries you through the sky.
It swells up inside you, a rising wave similar to the ones you can see in the distance, and you know you probably shouldn’t say it because it’s not in your best interest to say it right now, but you have to say it anyways.  It’s an unknowable compulsion, a need to connect and communicate directly with him but for your sake, not presently, not at this exact moment in time.
Luckily, you mute your comm just in time and simply give the words to him from very far away.
“Hurry up,” you say, sending the sentiment into the sky with all your love, and the conflicting hope that he won’t take the advice until a bit later on.  “Come and find me.”
Day 5–7:37pm:
After the fireworks are over, people start to drift off in separate directions, clearing the traffic and congestion from the streets around you.  Someone puts their hand on your shoulder and you blink a few times, spinning around and almost stepping on a bunch of tiny little feet by accident.
Stars, that’s a lot of children.  They’re all crowded around Naydee, who pats a few heads and almost buckles under the younglings clinging to her leg.
“Figured you would be long gone by now,” she grins at you from behind her mask, and you’re reminded to pull yours up over your face just from looking at her.  “It’s late—we’re going back to the Keja.”
“Oh, shit,” you breathe in surprise, but the noise of the gradually dispersing crowd manages to cover it up.  At least from younger, more easily distracted ears, but you think Naydee hears you.  Her dark eyes roll good-naturedly, looking happy but exhausted from the long day.  You’re going to have to say goodbye now.
“What happened to your family?”  She asks after a moment, and you think she’s being careful with the way she says it, likely because family is a difficult topic to navigate in general around some of the children hanging on her and begging for her attention.  “Have you been in touch with them?  If not, I’m sure you can come back with us.  It’ll be late by the time we get there, but at least you’ll be safe.”
You open your mouth to automatically decline her offer, knowing Din is still in the crowded city looking for you and wanting to stay where there’s lots of people.
But then… well, he would expect you to do that, wouldn’t he?
There’s more people here.  More danger, but better places to hide.  It’s the obvious choice, it’s the one that makes the most logical sense.  But you’d also be completely alone and you’re assuming the only reason he hasn’t snatched you up yet—which you know he could’ve done multiple times by now, is likely because you’re with a group of innocent foundlings, moody teenagers, and very stern older women.  He probably doesn’t realize you’ve told them about him and the kid, though you were slightly vague on the details.
It’s also a little over three hours to get back, but you’re banking on it being closer to four with how whiney and tired some of the small voices sound, others sounding like they’re an enormous sugar rush contained into a tiny little capsule.  Would he have the gall to try and get you right from under their noses?  Will he even know you left the city, or will he assume you made the smartest decision possible and simply account for it ahead of time?  No, you're overthinking it, just make a decision and stick with it.
“There’s also free food,” Naydee shrugs while you’re still considering, but… well, that settles that.  Almost three days of friendship and she already knows exactly how to win you over in the end.  Sustenance for your empty tummy, an escort the entire way there, and heavily guarded walls beyond.  Din will have to get creative in response—you flaunted your imagination for days, coming up with dozens of evasion tactics to outlast him, but this one just seems… incredibly practical.  Exploiting a weakness of his—isolating it, having it be reinforced by precedent, and then taking advantage of it.  You bet he’ll catch on, but still, it’ll make it more difficult for him, and you’re grasping at straws to hang on just a little longer.
“I…”  Quick, come up with something.  You clear your throat.  “The city is too crowded, I haven’t been able to find them.  I could just… tell them where I’m headed and see if they can find me along the way?”
Naydee smiles and nods.  “Sounds perfect.”
Yet, the entire walk back… you keep thinking you’re going to feel Din trailing behind you, waiting to feel the nerves twist in your tummy and your palms to sweat, but you don’t.  You keep glancing over your shoulder and then down at your wrist, needing to talk yourself out of addressing him through the comm to let him know exactly what the plan is.  You like maintaining a sense of secrecy from the new characters you’ve met on your adventures—Naydee, Karga, Peli—almost everyone you’ve been introduced to, you found a way to find a subtle enjoyment in hiding certain things from them.  But with Din, you don’t have any walls.  They crumbled nearly a full year ago when he silently pushed a cauterizer in your hand and took his armor off for you, and you’ve felt the inexplicable need to bare yourself to him in return ever since.  It would be to your extreme detriment to do it now, but you still have to fight the urge.
Even if you don’t feel him following, you still find yourself acting like he is.  Constantly turning back to double check the road behind you, drifting off in the middle of shallow, distant conversations with tiny foundlings who can’t tell the difference, keeping towards the middle of the pack this time to avoid being picked off towards the back.  The belltower at the orphanage is loud and will ring for quite a distance, so your timing has to be utterly pristine for this to all work out.  You eye your comm the entire way there, trying to stall just the right amount to avoid any realizations or fall into any traps he may be setting for you.
You eventually leave the city walls far behind you, and now you have no clue where he is.  You lost him, and maybe that’s why you feel your heart beat insanely fast the whole time.  He could be anywhere now.  Behind you, adjacent, parallel—you can’t decide where to look, but it keeps you wide awake and focused while the group tiredly travels back to the temple.
Day 5–11:32pm:
You can see it in the distance, the brick buildings slowly coming into view.  One might think your stress would have worked itself out by now, been brought back to a manageable level after four hours of walking, but you’ve been on red alert for the past hour or so.  Any movement or rustle that doesn’t come from the sleepy children or exhausted caretakers, you’re on top of it, snapping your attention to the offending tree or animal and not being able to relax even after affirming it’s just nature, it’s not shiny metal bounding after you in the darkness, ready to take you down.
The infants are all likely snoozing away in the nursery, and the Sister who volunteered to stay behind and look after them comes to greet the group at the gate as you approach.  Like always, two Brothers open the iron bars to allow you inside, and you feel the anxiety dig its claws into your tummy.  If Din is going to get you, this is the very last moment to do it.  These walls are guarded and you’re nervous for him, you’re nervous for yourself—you’re just fucking nervous.  Jumpy and worried, not being able to pinpoint him anymore and feeling all the more anxious because of it.
It doesn’t feel right.  Nothing feels right about this, but you can’t figure out specifically what’s wrong.  This was the exact plan, this was a way for you to just survive these last few hours and yet, it doesn’t feel right that you actually succeeded in doing so.  It doesn’t make sense that he’d allow you to return all the way here, especially when he was close enough to touch you earlier.  Din has had so much time to snatch you up, so many opportunities to lure you away, confront you—anything to catch you, and he hasn’t done it yet.  Why?  Either you truly did escape and he has no idea where you are, which doesn’t feel right, or he’s choosing not to get you for whatever reason, which also doesn’t feel right.  What’s he waiting for?  You can’t have won.  It was all too fucking easy, you’re expecting to see him around every single corner because he should be there, he shouldn’t have allowed this to happen.
When someone gently touches your elbow, you’re so on edge that you nearly whip around in surprise.
“Sorry!”  Naydee immediately apologizes, taking her hand back to lift her hood and remove the mask covering her face.  “Didn’t mean to scare you!  I was just going to say that the commissary is still open,” she offers, and you watch the small group of hungry teenagers break off from the group to make their way there.  “It’s going to take awhile to get the children ready for bed, so we’ll be in the dormitories if you need to sleep.  Otherwise, I’m not sure I’ll see you again.”
You stare at her and blink a few times, trying to readjust your focus.  She’s your new friend, she just said this was likely the last time you’ll see each other, but you can’t stop thinking about Din.  Imagine he’s hours away in the city right now, still looking for you.  You’re trying to evaluate your priorities here, but you truthfully never expected to get this far.  Inside the gates, surrounded by brick buildings and silent guards.  You know your way around here, you know hiding spots, you know how to outlast—it’s incredibly advantageous for you to be inside these walls.  What is he doing?
Shaking your head to clear your thoughts, you give Naydee a quick hug and she happily accepts it.  “I’m sure we’ll meet again at some point.”
She smiles and nods, pulling back and letting a couple grumpy foundlings catch her robes and yank on them impatiently.  The loud group eventually disappears into the dorms, and the door shutting behind them cuts off the tired crying and chatty voices determined to stay awake, leaving you in silence that feels slightly unfamiliar after going without it for so long.
Fuck, you just need to breathe.  As soon as the dead quiet grips the air around you, you realize you need to relax.  You’re way too fucking wound up; you want to bolt at the smallest thing and the sudden silence of being alone multiplies it to the point where you have to remind yourself of its importance.  Breathe.  Focus.  There’s about fifteen minutes before the bells ring, fifteen more minutes and the chase will be all over.
Can you eat?  You thought you’d want to, but you think you’re too fucking antsy.  You can’t stay here alone, that’s for sure, but you also don’t want to be around all the children right now.  The commissary will have a handful of people wandering around, teens snacking and maybe a Brother or two standing guard.  It’s the best place to wait the clock out, so you make your way there.  The gentle breeze billows around your loose robes, your pantlegs swishing as you walk.
A few minutes later, you’ve got a plate of food in front of you but your mask is still up, and you’re just sitting there.  Towards the back of the large room, sitting by yourself at one of the tables and staring down at your communicator.  Five minutes.  You have five fucking minutes left before he finds you.  Can you feel him?  Is he closing in?
You sit up a bit straighter, taking a deep breath.  Focus on that feeling from earlier.  The presence in your chest, the weight that didn’t used to be there months ago—focus on that feeling and branch it outwards.  Can you feel him?
Something catches your eye.
Or no… it doesn’t, does it?  Nothing is out of place here, nothing is visibly wrong or amiss.  The only thing that’s changed from all the times before is how dark it is through the windows, and how there are only a few kids in here grabbing a midnight snack instead of being packed like usual.  Nothing else.
But there’s… there’s an acolyte in the far corner, standing guard with his back to the wall.  It’s not his presence that gives you pause—you expected him to be here, there’s always been at least one present whenever you’ve sat down to eat.  He doesn’t look any different from the rest of the Brothers you’ve passed by this evening or the days before—tall, silent, dark brown robes, hooded and mysterious—so why do you suddenly feel yourself break out into a cold sweat as soon as your eyes land on him?
Bubbling laughter and chatter echoes through the large room from one of the tables near the entrance—seven teenagers stuffing their faces with food and sharing animated conversation with each other now that it’s late and they’re alone—but your stomach twists and your fingers start to tremble as you slowly rise from your seat in the back.  You want to keep your head down and be casual but it’s impossible, you desperately need to keep looking at that silent guard in particular and your heart kicks up in your chest—
—and then it wrenches sideways when you’re carefully backing away from the table and the offending acolyte takes a single step forwards.
Run.  Everything in you screams for you to run, and it’s rarely done that before, but you can’t.  Not yet, you don’t want to draw attention, and the logical part of your mind rages against your gut instinct to haul ass.  He’s here—of course he is, the thought screams through your veins as you try to weave quickly in between tables, feeling light on your toes and readying yourself to run as soon as you can.  The dark figure seems to find a careful pace behind you, staying just far enough behind and walking in perfect silence, and you have so many fucking questions but you can’t even think a single thing beyond run away, run away.  Where’s the kid?  How did he get those robes?  Did he actually take his helmet off just to get to you in a room where anyone could confront him?
Your feet propel you forward as soon as you make it out of the door, you break out into a sprint—just flat out bolting because you know how fucking fast he is and you need as big a headstart as you can get.
You race down the stairs and through the courtyard, the beautiful surroundings contrasting drastically with the way you’re running for your fucking life through them.  It’s not beautiful to you right now; you feel clumsy and physically unable to move fast enough no matter how quick you go, your eyes are wide and every nerve is on fire and you can’t even tell if he’s behind you anymore with how silently he moves, but you just trust that he is and keep barreling forward.  Your breath puffs against the clinging fabric of your mask as you keep sprinting, willing your legs to pump faster.  Get to the belltower at least, get to where you have the smallest chance of being caught by the people who guard this place.
As soon as you allow yourself to even conceive the possibility, two Brothers in dark hooded robes suddenly turn the corner a little ways in front of you and your reaction time is perfect—you jerk to a halt and take a single step forward as soon as they spot you.  Since your momentum already committed you to it, you just have to walk, keep your head down, move directly past them and hope Din disappeared from behind you in time.
Step, step, step—keep going, control your breathing, you’re okay, you’re allowed to be up late tonight and they shouldn’t stop you.  Walk right by…  Stars, you feel their silent stares as you casually pass, and it just feels so cold and analytical compared to the kind of danger Din is gives off when dressed in the exact same clothing.  He’s hard and tangible and an unrelenting force, where they just feel like ghosts that haunt this place.  The threat they present is impersonal and detached, but the terror currently chasing after you is so real that he can read your mind.
You wipe the sweat from your brow as soon as you turn the corner, and your feet are already starting to speed up on their own knowing you’re out of their sight.  Run, get to the belltower before Din does, you can see it standing tall about a hundred feet away.  The stairs leading to the door come closer and closer, but you hear something behind you and it propels you faster.  It’s like you can feel him right at your heels even though you haven’t seen him, snapping at your ankles even though your footsteps are the only ones you can hear anymore.
You scramble up the stairs and close the door behind you, spinning around and facing it even as you slowly retreat backwards into the moonlit tower, trying to stay quiet.  Breathing through your nose, eyes shifting around the enclosed space, continuing to back up and away from the door.  Where is he?  There are so many windows that allow you to look outside, but why can’t you spot his movement through them?  Wasn’t he right behind you?
Behind you.
There’s no reason or logic at all to it; you just react.  Spinning around and throwing a mean punch.
Din jerks back just in time to miss it, twisting and dodging at the very last second to avoid your next few hits—but… things seem to slow down, even if they’re happening so fast.  The moonlight cascades through the dozens of windows lining the circular walls and it shines just enough to reveal small glimpses of him.  With every aggressive strike from you, you see something else—you see a flash of his chin when you try to uppercut, you aim for his chest and you see a bit of his jaw.  When you go for his jaw, he steps sideways and catches your wrist, and you see the bend of his nose catch the light this time.
But then it’s like he finally figures out that you’re actually fighting him, and now he’s coming for you.  Trained and ruthless, not weighed down by any armor and lightning quick, launching perfectly aimed attacks that you’re only able to avoid from reaction and muscle memory alone.  You block or move whenever he strikes, you attack whenever you see an opening, you sidestep at the same time he does—
Until you land a spin kick directly to the center of his chest and snap your leg to shove him back, your heel smashing into that soft spot right above his stomach with dead precision and brute force.  He exhales sharply and takes a few more steps back to steady himself while you pause to catch your breath.
Din abruptly comes back and you fall into it with him again, keeping a sharp rhythm with each other that’s faster, harder, and way more real than any sparring match you’ve ever shared.  The hours and days in hyperspace you spent practicing with him are but a fraction of what he’s throwing at you right now, the combinations so rapid and blurred that you just have to trust your knowledge of him and his movement through the dark.
But then, your downfall.  Bells begin ringing an earsplittingly familiar melody above you, and it shatters your concentration—you falter just as he grabs you and sweeps your feet out, and though you know how to get out of that, you’re not quick enough on the jump nor counterswing to prevent it.  He takes you to the ground, hard, and then your wrists are being pinned together above your head and your mask is being tugged down.
Din’s mouth on yours makes you want to cry.
The whole thing is like coming home.  You spent a week surrounded by strangers and having them call you by a name not given to you, fending for yourself, and now here he is.  Someone who knows who you really are, someone that wants to care for you.  Tears come to your eyes even as they're pressed tightly shut, and Din kisses you like he’s never known anything else.  His mouth fits to yours as if the Maker made your lips before ever considering the rest of you, his bare hand clutching your jaw and forcing you to open for him, letting him lick deep inside after going so many days without it.  It might feel dominant and overwhelming if it happened to any other person, but through it, you can also taste his desperation and weakness, how soft he is even when he’s squeezing your jaw and squishing your wrists together too tightly.
Rigid steel that bends only for your touch.
He pulls back and your heart throbs at how moonlight continues to bathe just the smallest glimpses of him under the hood—never the full thing, never the whole face, but enough.  The quiet light that brushes the arch of his nose, how it bathes the hard line of his jaw so that you can barely see his scruff when he turns his head the right way.  His eyes are hidden in near darkness but there’s the faintest glimmer where they should be, and it’s the closest you’ve ever been to looking at him without the helmet.  You can see him, you can see shadows of his chin, his neck—dear stars, his fucking neck.  You’re pinned and paralyzed under him and the ringing bells, yet you feel like you just might float if he wasn’t holding you so tight to the floor.
“Where’s the baby?”  You finally lift your chin and ask, needing to raise your voice over the melody clanging loud throughout the tower.
“Making friends,” Din pants back down at you, and… stars, then you just start giggling.  Adrenaline turning into pure joy, imagining the kid wreaking havoc with all the other babies in the nursery right now.  It feels more light and airy than anything your body should know.
“What are you so happy about?” He asks, swallowing and then continuing on with the same quick gasps.  “You lost, I caught you in time.”
“Did you?”  You drop your head to the brick floor and ask, biting your lip as he stares back down at you.  Suddenly—
Din holds utterly still over you while you take a quick breath and wait for the next eleven bells… 
…but then break into a slow grin up at him when nothing but utter silence follows.
There’s a moment.  Just a single moment where the cogs turn rapidly under that shadowy hood, one where the faint reflection of light in his eyes flickers down to the communicator on your wrist that says midnight and back to you, one that solidifies the longer it takes for another bell to ring.  It’s not going to.
One o’clock.
You think he puts it together.  The one moment he was never able to figure you out—when you tried reprogramming the comms just a few days ago.  The one trick up your sleeve that you resigned to throw away and almost forget about because the circumstances for pulling it off were never realistic.  Fuck with the electronics and set the clock back just one hour—all you’d need to do is reset his communicator, the timecode is synced together.  He told you before that it’s connected to his helmet, but all the buttons still work.  Rapid, panicky thinking and a wild surge of bravery in the face of certain downfall is the only reason you were able to pull it off, and you’re perfectly willing to admit you just got lucky… especially when he’s still holding dead still over you.
But then Din moves so suddenly.  You can’t account for it because there’s no build-up whatsoever—it’s so fast, you yelp while he grabs your knees and throws them both to one side.  You flop over sideways and large hands reach up under the draping length of your tunic to yank your pants down over the curve of your ass, before he’s fitting his palm up between your legs and pushing two thick fingers inside you.
Your head thunks back against brick with how unexpected and merciless it is, but his other hand is grabbing your jaw and twisting, forcing you to look up, stare right into the dark shadow under the loose cowl.  The whole thing is too overwhelming—you’re trying to keep quiet but your breathing feels like thunder crashing inside this tall, echoing chamber.  He’s touched you so many times, he knows exactly how to do it by now, but it feels like so much more than that.  Probably because you can see the way Din’s mouth silently falls open as he feels you, stretching his fingers up and hooking them tight inside.  You can tell when he closes his eyes, the smallest glint slowly disappearing into nothingness while the hand around your jaw blindly moves up.  It catches your chin and lips, and then two fingers push over the bottom edge of your teeth to slip into your mouth.
Your entire leg twitches and jerks while you lay sideways on the ground and open up for him, your neck twisted at a sharp angle to keep your eyes on him and his fingers in your mouth, giving you something to bite to stop making noise.  Din makes room for himself inside you two different ways, and you just choke on his fingers and try to stay quiet, praying he’ll go deeper.
But then you’re not expecting his whole fucking arm to start moving the way it does—oh fuck, what is that?  First you just feel jostled and displaced, but then suddenly a wicked, deep, burning pleasure starts to roar through you, radiating outwards from the rapid motion of just two fingers inside you.  It’s not in and out, it’s up and down so hard and quick against your g-spot that your eyes cross and your hands go numb.
You think you grab at him, clutch onto his arm or chest and open your mouth to moan at the new and overwhelming sensation, but his hand pushes up against your chin and closes it for you, the bend of his fingers caught hard between your teeth but you don’t think he cares.
“Quiet,” Din hisses the word down at you while his arm continues to work, your toes starting to curl as the feeling overwhelms you.  Fuck, what is happening, what is happening?  It’s like he’s just shoving unfamiliar sensation at you so forcefully that you can’t even think straight anymore, not even ten seconds in.  You can only feel the pleasure, fire blurring hot and shapeless through your entire body as your eyes clamp shut, his fingers isolating that perfect spot and stimulating it directly, relentlessly.
Something dull and white hot presses up tight against all the muscles you have down there and you’re almost afraid of how strong it is.  You gasp and choke and he has to take his fingers out of your mouth and just clamp down around your entire jaw, sealing the whole thing shut with his large hand.  And then Din’s fingers leave your pussy too—and stars, you should be embarrassed by how desperately it clamps around nothing for as long as it does.  He’s not even inside you anymore but your body is on such a delay from the hot, twisting pleasure, and he doesn’t put them back in until your muscles are finished spasming.
Everything comes back full force as soon as he starts moving again.  Noise starts to come from your throat, humming in your vocal cords to deal with the arcing, swirling build, and so Din just moves his hand there instead.  He finds where it’s vibrating from your neck and he pushes up against it, trapping the sound right at the source.  He’s fucking perfect at it for some reason… how many times must he have done this to know how to cut noise out without stopping airflow?  You clutch at his wrist and silently mouth his name, feeling his arm work between your legs—faster, faster, harder, pushing you higher, higher—
Din pulls his fingers out again and this time, one of your thighs suddenly feels warm and wet while you spasm and you hear him growl out a ragged, “Fuck yes.”  Everything is sparks zapping through you long after his touch is gone, you cry out but it’s all trapped under Din’s expert grip.  His fingers soon push back inside you and you dig your nails into his forearm, your sounds muffled and quiet enough to hear his raspy groan.  
“Let me see it again,” Din breathes, his arm starting to work up and down once more, and you don’t even know what he’s talking about anymore.  What does he want to see?  You losing your mind again?  Being reduced to an utter mess in front of his shadowy but unobstructed gaze just because you managed to pull one over on him?
Fucking… apparently.  It’s what happens, after all.  You’ve never seen him like this before; whenever he’s worked up and taking it out on you, there was always something in it for him, too.  He’d hammer into you and rock your world until his eventually shattered, and then you’d both lay exhausted afterwards, equally affected and satisfied.  This isn’t like that—this is just cruel, targeted retribution on his behalf, coaxing the molten pleasure out of you with his fingers and keeping his other hand locked around your throat.  You blink helplessly up at him, your vision starting to blur by the time he leans down to whisper to you.
“I missed you, sweet girl.  Did you miss me?”  It’s so soft and quiet compared to the strength and relentlessness of his movements.  You can’t speak even if you wanted to, but when he finally pulls away to yank his hand out and you feel all your muscles automatically flex outwards and push against the sudden emptiness inside you, his voice groans long and satisfied while your thighs get wet again  “Yeah you did,” he breathes, pushing your shaky legs to the brick with his hand and watching you struggle through the aftershocks.
Did you just cum?  You don’t even know, that’s how fucked up you are right now.  The whole thing felt like an orgasm from the very beginning, just a boiling hot tornado ripping through every single cell in your body, never really having a peak.  If you didn’t cum, then why do you feel so weak?  You feel heavy, your limbs don’t work properly, and you barely even register Din pulling at the fabric of his own robes until he fits himself up against your entrance.
When you do realize it, though… your body burns with it, wrecked already but wanting him to take what he wants from you.
“Oh, plea—” you gasp but you don’t even have enough time to get the full sentence out.  He’s already pushing his hips forward, pressing you tight into the ground and opening you up after what feels like a fucking eternity without him.  It’s the hottest, slickest welcome you could give him, you hear it in the whispered curse his lips brush up under your ear, the wet noises your body makes that get louder the longer you hold the moan in your throat and bury your head into his shoulder.  He throbs thick and perfect inside your tight, spasming cunt, stretching you and smacking the rough ground near your head with how fucking good it is to be back, finally, finally—
Your hands grab uselessly at his chest while you try to acclimate, try to breathe while you’re blind with sensation.  It’s so fitting for him, isn’t it?  That your reunion should be just as physically debilitating as it is mentally.  Din’s voice scrapes on a groan like he’s dragging it across the brick ground as quiet as he can, catching when you clamp down on him and shuddering when you clamp down harder.  That’s just it—you don’t ever loosen, you just keep tightening and tightening around him, threatening to break and cum again.
This feels different from before, though.  It’s deep, purposefully so.  His hand reaches up to push the fabric of your hood back, lifting himself up over your body and wanting to start as deep as he can.  You feel him in a place you’d never be able to reach and that’s just the beginning—that’s before he starts thrusting into you, hitting a dull sensation at the apex of each movement so hard that it becomes sharp.  His hips don’t make practically any sound smacking into you because they don’t really smack, they just rock downwards and fuck you into the floor without needing to pull out really at all.  You know he’s just trying to keep it as quiet as possible, but what he lacks in speed and agility he makes up in power.
You don’t even realize you’re making too much noise until a palm wraps tight around your mouth and the room gets a little emptier.  Din keeps you all to himself on the floor, silencing as much as he’s working you up, smothering as much as he’s freeing you.  There’s no easing up, no dragging it out, no gradual build or climb—it’s just there all of a sudden, pleasure and pain pummeling you all at once, engulfing you in flames.
You reach up to grab at the loose fabric of the hood over his face, catching a fistful of it before his hand suddenly snatches your shaky wrist and pins it back to the ground.
Maker, you forgot—oh, you completely forgot about how many people could find you right now if they ever decided to look in the right place.  You’re not in hyperspace; your body is rocking against rough brick, you’re probably going to have a lump on the back of your head from how terrible you are at trying to map out heaven while holding still.  He’s pinned down what he can with one hand; your fingers are the only things that can move besides how tight you can curl your toes, but you feel your moans turn into words against his palm.  They garble indistinctly and you’re not really even sure what you’re saying, but Din decides it’s worth hearing.
“Shh,” he whispers, slowly lifting his hand from your mouth.  “Shh, tell me—”
“W-wanna look,” you hear yourself whimper, trying your best to keep quiet but wanting to scream it while he fucks you hard and slow on the ground, “—I wanna see, I wanna look at you—”
“Fuck,” Din gasps, and though his grip tightens on your wrist and you know he can’t do it right this second, the words seem like they shatter something inside him, “Keep—oh fuck, please, k-keep saying…”
“I want to marry you,” you nearly whine for him, feeling his hips kick up rapidly and start hammering in and out, in and out, in and—“I want to see your face, I wanna be yours, I don’t want anyone else to know you the way I-I—”
You think he drops his head into your neck to muffle his own sounds.  Though they start out rough and quiet and indiscernible, but they gradually become louder as he repeats himself over and over again, growling and fucking you rough.  You only catch it on the peak, when he pulls his mouth away from your skin and gasps them raggedly one last time.
“—ve you—I l-love y—”
He kisses you to stop himself.  But it’s not really a kiss, it’s more desperate than that.  Though it’s beautiful, it’s beautiful in a different light.  It’s not rejoicing at having you back with him once again; it’s a last prayer begging you to stay by his side forever.  He loves you.  He gives it everything—it feels even more concrete and simple than taking the hood off him and revealing his face would.  You told you that you'd know him without ever seeing him, and you did.  You picked him out and found him when absolutely nothing was giving him away, and this feels like a manifestation of that.  Even if you’re not in a place where he can show you his face, his beautiful brown eyes, something still feels like it changes.  He loves you.  You gasp into his mouth and his tongue sinks deep into yours, tenacious and brave and unyielding.  
When you finally cum, you almost bite him on accident.  
Everything surges hot and molten while he pulls back and keeps fucking you through it, and you can’t tell where you’re touching him anymore, just that his skin is blazing hot under your hand and he feels like everything the armor isn’t.  He loves you.  You’re looking into his eyes right now.  You can’t see any of the details, not really, but the moonlight flickers like silent stars moving through dark depths, staring right back at you and giving you an anchor for the euphoria rocketing through you.  He loves you.  Your nails dig in sharp and slowly drag downwards, scratching hard red lines into whatever thick muscle that is—
The back of his neck, making his hips stutter and when he cums for you, he does bite.
You lift your head just in time to feel his teeth catch your chin instead of your mouth, and his entire body shakes while you keep dragging your nails down the side of his neck and his throat.  Din fucking lives for it, he releases you and arches into the pain and owns your marks like he wishes you made them deeper, stretching his neck and lifting his chin into the moonlight and—
Maker.  You can see it, with direct light, you can see more of it than ever before.  You can see his soft lips and white teeth gritting the sound of your name as quietly as he can, the dark facial hair dusting across the lower half of his face.  A fucking gorgeous jawline and throat extended long over you, flexing hard with his cock pulsing inside you.  You can just barely see the bottom of his nose from under the brown hood, the dark curls brushing up under his ears.
Stars, you still never see his eyes, the fabric of his hood acts like a blindfold draped over them, but you think you cum again.  Even if it’s on accident, it’s mean—Din tries to keep from squishing you and his hand pushes down hard against your lower tummy while he shoves his hips deep one last time, and you cum while staring at half of his face in the moonlight.  Completely lovestruck.
How can he be this beautiful when you’ve only seen fractions of him?  You have everything but the eyes now, everything but the most mysterious thing about him, the reflection into his deepest self, but you feel like you’re hypnotized by every single feature you do see.  His tongue coming out to wet his lips, the vein pulling under his sharp jaw—he’s gorgeous, he’s gorgeous, and your body agrees.  It shakes and shudders under him and eventually, Din finishes and you keep looking as his chin slowly lowers, face disappearing into the shadow once more.
Stars.  He’s so handsome and no one has ever told him, fucking dreamy and the biggest grump you’ve ever met.  Without being able to see him, you already want to reach your hands out and touch him, drag your nails through his scruff and force him to extend outwards into the moonlight again for you.  Whenever he does end up showing you his face, you know right fucking now that you’ll never be able to look away.  For the rest of your life, you’ll be staring at him, apologizing blankly for your rudeness but not feeling sorry at all.
Din leans down and gives you a slow, gentle kiss, finally relaxing into a slouch and breathing hard with the effort it took to shatter you with pleasure.
“The kid is with the other foundlings,” he whispers against your lips.  “You… you’ll have to go get him, I need to grab my armor.”
You squeeze around his cock, pulling at the fabric of his robes and ignoring him for just a second.  He fucked you in robes belonging to one of the guards and nobody has mentioned it, you need to say something.  “Where did you get this?”
“I found it,” he tells you after a moment, kissing up under your jaw.  Oh fucking Maker, he feels so good and perfect inside you, shoulders so broad and crowding you on the floor, and his lips are plush and hot, brushing and fitting your skin like it’s just an extension of his own.  “Some guy was wearing it.”
It takes you a second.
“Mando,” you suddenly gasp in quiet horror, pushing at his chest and trying your best to detach his mouth from your throat.  It’s so much more difficult than it needs to be, but you eventually succeed.  “What did you do to him?  Where is he?”
He lifts his neck up just the tiniest bit, turning his face towards yours under the hood and holding still for way too fucking long.  He’s too close to see the expression he’s making, but you know the tone of his silence.  He’s in trouble and he knows it before you do.
“They’re in a closet,” he admits at the very same time, completely monotone.
You don’t know which word to emphasize.  A fucking closet?  They’re?  Plural?  Instead of stressing any particular word, you decide not to do it at all and it ends up just coming out in the same exact blank tone as him.  “They're in a closet.”
“Inside the Temple,” Din continues on when you lay still as a statue underneath him.  His head slowly dips down once more, pushing his hips against you just the slightest bit to make you remember the cock still inside you instead.  Your eyelashes flutter with it—fuck, focus—“I didn’t know there’d be more than two.”  He kisses your neck so gently.  “It was an accident.”
You don’t say anything at all, your mouth pinching down at the corners because it should but your heartbeat galloping with how… fucking sexy he is.  You shouldn’t encourage this, this horrible behavior just to get close enough to catch you, but your curiosity overtakes you and you ask a question you’ve asked yourself before.  “Did they put up a fight?”
“Mm,” he whispers noncommittally, rocking his hips down once more.  “You did.”  Your nails dig into his chest, making him falter just slightly before slowly kissing your neck again.  “Did so good.  Fought hard, outsmarted me.  Pretty fucking girl.”
And then your eyes pop open as you feel it.  His cock suddenly beginning to harden once again inside you, twitching and gradually gaining a thicker shape, and for a moment, you actually fucking consider it.  He’s the only one in this galaxy that could not only ruin you on these sacred grounds, but then coax you into doing it more than once—stars, are you actually considering it?
“We can’t,” you automatically tell him, but it’s fucking pitiful.  Zero effort, absolutely no umph behind it, leaving it entirely up to him and how much he wants it.  Your logic reminds you that the kid is probably wreaking havoc in the nursery and there are tied up guards in the fucking temple that could be discovered any second.  You shouldn’t have even let him fuck you here in the first place, but…  “Mando, we can’t—”
His mouth opens against the crook of your neck and his tongue brushes velvet hot on your skin, tasting the glistening sweat there and not moving his broad figure a single inch over you besides getting closer, deeper.  Your nails dig into his collarbone, aiming for reason one last time.  It’s apparent that you’d be better off rephrasing, knowing the challenging streak in him and how much telling him what to do doesn't help.
“It’s not a good idea,” you attempt instead, breathless and trying not to move under his mouth and lazy hips.  “Not smart.  Bad idea to fuck again.”
Din’s body stops moving, even though he keeps getting harder.  His jaw opens and then his teeth scrape softly against your flesh, making you tilt your neck back and gasp.
“Later,” he lifts his head to state aloud, committing it to truth now that it’s been spoken and heard by another person.  “Later, I’ll fuck you on the ship, in our bed, when I can get you naked and have your taste in my mouth.”
Tingles rock through your body and you squeeze around his cock just as he pulls it out and tucks it back into his pants.  Your lungs quiver when you inhale—it’s shaky, but it reminds you of how long it’s been since you’ve been able to breathe correctly.
“Later,” you finally agree, combing your fingers through your hair and glad you have this hood to cover your freshly fucked dishevelment.  He came inside you and you don’t want to be leaking and getting your nice pretty robes all wet and stained, but then of course, without any prompting, Din quickly scoots back on his knees and drops his head down to take care of it for you.
After Din helped you clean up the way he sometimes likes and then disappeared to change back into his armor, you put your mask and hood back on and tried to look as casual as possible walking to the nursery.  Your knees wobbled slightly and you couldn’t stop smiling under the mask the entire walk there, but when you arrived, you just saw a dim room with sleeping infants—not what you were expecting.  Soon, however, you hear it: down the hall, distant and coming from the dormitories, you hear a loud commotion.
Fuck, you’re nearly wincing with every step you take now, and not because you’re sore.  Well, you… are, a little bit, but in a great way.  No, you’re just dreading the ridiculous shinanigans you already know are well underway, wondering if Din actually dropped the kid off in the dorms from the beginning or if he somehow migrated his way there to cause trouble.
When you walk inside, the first thing you see is a handful of crying and shouting toddlers, and while you can’t immediately spot your favorite floppy-eared monster, you don’t have to see him to know he’s probably standing tiny directly in the middle of this tense showdown.  Automatically, you’re taking a few steps forward to rescue him, but then you stop as soon as you see what the other babies are so mad about.  A large piece of chocolate leftover from the festival levitating just beyond their pitiful little reaches.
Hm.  Who could possibly be responsible for using demon powers to steal snacks and hold them hostage from a sizeable group of hostile children.  A mystery that may never be solved.
It makes you take a second.  The sheer… the… stars, you can’t even think straight—how fucking typical it is just hits you right in the chest, sends your heart into orbit.  Of course.  Of course this is what he’s gotten himself into without immediate supervision, of course this is the shipwreck you’d walk into, and you’re holding back a chuckle before making a single move to intervene.  In the midst of everything, you can hear adults approaching distantly from behind you.
“—don’t know where it came from, I was helping the younglings into bed when I heard the ruckus and I—”
The voices gradually grow louder, and you snatch the floating piece of candy out of thin air and whip around right before Sister Drya and Naydee walk in.  Their hushed, concerned conversation is cut to an abrupt end, and you clear your throat as they take you in, standing in front of chaos central continuing to go off behind you.  Do you… look as freshly disheveled as you are?  You’re not supposed to be here, you know, but hopefully the only strange thing is your presence itself and not anything concerning your appearance.
“Nerida,” the older lady suddenly announces, the name alone holding so much expectation, and the younglings missing their candy have now turned their ire towards you and the crinkly food wrapper hidden in your fist.  “What is the meaning of this?”
“Ah, yeah,” you stand up a little straighter, letting the chocolate casually fall out of your grip behind you, and a stampede of feet suddenly kick up to recover it.  It’s fine, nobody will know, it’s fine.  “It’s just…”  Your head tips behind you to the cause of the uproar, feeling a bit sheepish yet so incredibly fond.  “My… kid.”
Sister Drya stares at you for a few seconds, before tipping sideways and staring at the culprit.  “That is your child?”
You turn around just in time to see him, now abandoned by the angry mob of children, finally notice you.  All of a sudden, his pitch black eyes light up something bright and sunshiney, and you just start beaming in return.  What an adorable little creature, apple of your eye and pain of your ass.
“Yep,” you sigh, dropping into a squat and watching him barrel towards you, catching him right before he can trip over his brown potato sack and scooping him up into your arms.  “Hiya, bug,” you murmur with a grin, lifting back up and plopping him in his favorite spot in the universe—your left hip.  “You making friends?”
He giggles and it’s like sparkles and bubbles fill the room instead, wrapping tiny arms around the largest surface area he can get and clinging.  He laughs with a tiny open mouth, bless him, clearly not understanding the sarcasm, and suddenly your eyes feel just the slightest bit wet.  No, you’re not crying, don’t be fucking ridiculous, but you missed him like hell and he’s just the cutest fucking thing—why do you feel like crying?
“Sorry about that,” you apologize to the two women while slowly turning around, brushing your thumb over one of his cheeks and smiling as it squishes.  “He’s… uh.  Not great at sharing.  We’ll work on it.”
Takes after his dad, you purposefully leave out, just a different kind of sharing.  Din hasn’t shown you his full face yet and the kid performs magic tricks to taunt a roomful of children a fraction of his age for a single piece of chocolate, completely different kind of sharing.
Sister Drya says something in response, but when you look up to address her, all you see is Din standing silently behind her and Naydee, slowly dropping his hand from his helmet to his side.  They don’t seem to notice he’s there and you automatically try your best to pay attention to the Sister speaking to you, but your eyes get caught on the silver reflecting in the dim light beyond.  Fuck, he’s a presence.  An immediate distraction, taking all your focus with a single glimpse.  Seeing him fully armored again, staring at you from the silent shadows behind everything… you melt a little bit, knowing that you’ve seen more of what’s underneath than anyone.  Your shoulders settle and your entire body burns warm, wobbly like the air around a fire, and one of the kid’s hands leaves you to reach out towards his dad.
You watch the metallic helmet tilt sideways after a moment, saying everything without saying anything.  Come on, make up an excuse, let’s get out of here.
Looking at him in the quiet shadows, you’re reminded once again about how much you love him, how much softness you have inside you for a man so hard, so guarded.  And, for the first time, a voice in your head finishes a poem you didn’t realize you were writing, adding its own verse and bringing everything back around to the beginning.  He loves you, too.  How much he lets his guard down for you, the way he’s revealed more of his face to you than not.  You love each other.  You’re family.
So, all at once, you decide to mess with him, because that’s what family does best.
“Don’t be shy, come say hello,” you suddenly urge his silent figure, taking a step forward and speaking directly to him.  “Sister Drya, Naydee, I’d like to introduce you to my—”
It’s remarkable, you see it happen in front of you.  Like he has powers of his own, Din just literally fucking disappears.  Like magic, he’s nowhere to be found within a blink of an eye.  You know he’s capable of it; he’s done it plenty of times during the chase just to fuck with your head, but you’re staring straight at him when it happens this time and it might just be the funniest fucking thing you’ve ever seen him do.
Sister Drya and Naydee both turn around to an empty hallway bathed in shadows and you laugh.  A deep, shameless, loud belly laugh.  Where the fuck did he go so quick?  You were staring straight at him and you have no fucking clue.  He’s just out, and you’re left alone with his child and the unspoken understanding that he’ll just catch up with you later.
You’re giggling even as you shake your head and give the women your genuine thanks for keeping you and feeding you these past few days, grabbing your backpack with all your belongings and eventually using three green fingers to wave goodbye to them.  The very first thing Din says when he seamlessly joins you outside the Keja later is, “That wasn’t funny,” which just makes you laugh harder.
About a half hour has passed, and you’re walking along a dirt road, cradling a very happy baby in your arms and giving the grown man next to you an incredibly hard time.
“You’re unbelievable,” you mutter, your back twinging slightly at the way you’re leaning about as sideways as you can get without falling over.  You think you’re basically just the hypotenuse between the ground and Din, who easily supports almost your entire weight with your backpack slung around his far shoulder and readily allows you to rest against him.
“They’re fine,” he grumbles in response, squeezing you tight to his side.  You just have to focus on moving your feet; it’s like he’s practically carrying your upper-half anyways.  “I gave them the night off.”
“You stuffed them in a closet,” you hiss, feeling his shoulder shrug under your cheek.
“I gave them the robe back,” he says, not really defending himself and more just throwing it out there to see if it helps any.  “I’m sure someone’s found them by now, they’re fine.”
Your eyes suddenly go wide, absolutely mortified at the thought.  “Wait.  What do you mean you gave the robe back?”
He shrugs once more, apparently not seeing the problem yet.  “I borrowed it, so I gave it back after I put my armor back on.”
If you could plant your feet on the dirt road and screech to a halt, you would, but all your weight is already resting on him and you’re working solely off his forward movement.  You just hope your tone holds the same amount of shocked disapproval your body language would’ve conveyed if you weren’t so completely attached to his hip like a parasite he adores.
“You fucked me wearing it, though.”  Your voice is strangely flat, so fucking confused and horrified by the mental image of him just tossing the soiled garments haphazardly somewhere in the temple behind you, or even worse, leaving them somewhere respectful, and Din soon stops in the middle of the deserted road.
“Oh,” is all he says, emotionless and blank through the modulator.  Did he not even consider this?
“I had to promise them I was a virgin just to sleep there, you know,” you admit, and you can tell that’s brand new information to him with how still he goes as you continue to lean against him.  You’re getting the feeling that he probably knows a lot more about your experiences on this moon than you think he does, but can tell that this is brand new information to him.  “And you locked three of their holy men in a closet, chased me across the temple grounds, fucked me in one of their robes, and then.  You gave it.  Back.”
Din stays perfectly silent for quite some time.  You can never go back to that place, you know this for a fact.  You’re banned forever now, it’s what you deserve.
Never one to be outdone but not actually having anything to say for himself, Din suddenly decides to just scoop you into his arms and boost up into the sky without a single word like an actual fucking maniac.
You squeal and damn near drop the baby because of it, but he cinches you tight to his chest and refuses to loosen with your struggle.  Eventually, after you realize he’s completely locked you in and you won’t fall to your death with this poor innocent child in your arms, you glance over the shiny pauldron on his shoulder and watch the kid’s crib disappear by the abandoned road as Din takes you higher and higher.
The crib—he forgot the crib—
“D-Din,” you stammer out through the whistling air, stiff as a board.  Stars, you have such a different sense of adventure than him; an explorer and a daredevil, one who gets a thrill from discovering the existence of the edge of a cliff and one who’ll take a running dive off of it without thinking twice.  He’s hit with blaster fire some days, he faces down death completely fearless like it owes him one every single time, and you’re stiff as a fucking board while he carries you through the sky.  It’s stunning up here, it’s exciting and wonderful, but you’re so scared that you can barely even look.  He’s giving you the most fantastical view, everything your budding adventurous streak could ever ask for, and your terror is crushing.  It would be different if you could hold on, but you’re responsible for not letting the baby slip through your arms and you just have to trust that he won’t let you slip through his.
You raise your voice.  “Din?!”
“I won’t drop you,” he automatically reassures, and well you sure as fuck hope not, but there’s something else.
“What about the crib?”  You call out over the wind whipping, tucking the baby tight to your chest and settling your hands over his ears to avoid them flapping and whacking you repeatedly in the chin.
“We’ll come back for it,” he responds, just as easily.  Maker, you wish decision-making came that easy to you, that commitment and choice should be so simple as to just fly away from things on the ground and promise out loud to come back for them.  You know he will, but still, his spontaneity shocks you after spending the past week thinking every decision through meticulously, and you’re taken aback by the casualness of it all while soaring through the sky, committing such spectacular feats without a single thought beyond it.
Soon—incredibly soon, which honestly kind of blows your mind—you spot Nariss glowing in the distance and then you’re flying overtop of the city, slowly dropping altitude in the middle of a quiet little side street.
Din carefully allows your feet to settle on the ground before letting go, but you still stumble a bit stupidly after flying so high without any sort of safety measure besides him, prioritizing the steadiness of the baby in your arms instead of your feet underneath you.  His gloves catch at your clumsy body and pull you along with him without another word, leading you out of the quiet alley and into the middle of a beautiful, luminescent street.
What’s he doing?  He seems slightly hurried, and you’re clueless but you go with it, clamoring along behind him to wherever he’s leading you.
Though, you suddenly remember one of the very last things you told him last night right before he steps up in front of a vendor.
“Caf,” Din grunts, sliding a few credits towards the man standing behind the counter. “The… biggest one you have.”
Okay, well.  You could just about fucking cry.
“Y’sure?” The vendor asks skeptically, jerking his head at the large thermos behind him.  He’s balding, wearing a white outfit with his eyes scrunched up and forehead sweaty, likely working all day.  “It ain’t fresh.  Closin’ up soon, was just about to trash it and go home.”
The helmet turns to gauge your response to the news, the sharp angles and contours looking so sleek and dangerous as they reflect the colorful lamplights, but just filling you with comfort beyond anything in the entire galaxy.  He’ll take that armor off for you tonight and you’ll sleep next to him.  He’ll call you by your given name, or the fond name he’s given you, and you’ll cuddle your baby on a metal floor in hyperspace with him, and all will be well.  Even if he needs to leave again soon—even if you don’t get to go with him, you’ll always have these small eternities with each other, and that’s more enough for you now.
You’re completely zoned out while staring at him, and Din turns back to the vendor before you can even remember the conflict he was attempting to defer to you.
“Yeah, just empty the whole thing in there for her,” he mutters, and you want to marry him.  It’s been a long week, and in your haze and delight of being with him in this gorgeous setting, your brain turns to cavewoman mush.  Big man, makes me happy.  Strong man, loves me, knows me.  Provider, makes me feel good, protector, loves me.
Din hands you the large cup of steaming caffeine, clueless to your grunted inner monologue but knowing better than to reach out and grab the kid from your other arm.  You’re just fine like this, hands full, the little frog snuggled up against your side and blinking up at your face instead of any of the shiny or glowing things around you.  When you look down at him, you can see the world through his eyes—quite literally, they’re reflective and gigantic—and his father’s hand quickly finds its preferred spot on your lower back.
“Try to drink it quick,” Din advises you gruffly, pulling you snug into his side and sloshing the big cupful of piping hot liquid in your hand.
“It’s a thousand degrees,” you protest, trying to balance your three favorite things in the universe all begging for your direct attention at once.  “It has to cool down.”
He gives a dismissive hm in response, and you frown even as your heart soars with how tightly he’s gripping you, how little leeway you have to even move without him.  Part of you is so thrilled at being reunited with him that you consider snarking something back at him, excitement making you brave.  He could probably chug boiling hot liquid in thirty seconds and doesn’t see the point in letting it sit any longer, and you could make some stupid joke about filtering it through his helmet or having a built in bendy straw but you decide to keep it to yourself.
So then you just stand there together, under stringed lights and flowers everywhere, and he waits.  Holding you glued to his side, completely silent and clearly just waiting for your caf to stop steaming so threateningly in your hand so you can drink it.  For some reason, the fact that he’s wanted by the New Republic doesn’t really register at this second—you’re not looking for cops, though he may be.  You’re just lost in this beautiful, fancy city that’s on the edge of finally quieting down after a long day, and you’d like to see more of it with him next to you.
“Well, do you wanna just…”  You ask, tilting your head around at all the vendors.  “Shop around for a bit?”
“Shop… around,” Din repeats slowly, sounding the words out like they’re not common Basic.  Admittedly, they do sit a bit awkward in his voice when put together like that, describing a phenomena he’s likely never even considered a thing before, but it’s so fucking pretty here and you’d like to show him something this time instead of the other way around.
“Yeah, like,” you shrug a shoulder, tipping your head in a random direction.  Anywhere, you’ll go literally anywhere with him, the three of you can go explore.  “Just wander around, and look at all the pretty things.”
From where you’re standing right now, you can already see glittering crystals and jewels being sold at the tent across the street, there’s a booth dedicated entirely to floral arrangements and crowns next to it, you can hear a distant quartet playing melodically in the distance and a couple is being painted by an artist on the corner.  Bars are in full swing at this point, as if they weren’t all day, and even though the merchandise is all different, the multicolored tents look slightly similar when they’re underlit with multicolored lights.  It’s less slightly lively than it was in the daytime, but also… more beautiful, in a sense.  Muted, softer, more romantic.
“I don’t have any more credits,” Din admits casually, finally turning to look around at everything.  You get the feeling that he’s just now seeing it, even after spending the entire day here.  “That stale caf was the last of it.”
Money well fucking spent, you can assure him of that.
“It’s okay,” you tell him automatically, gently bumping your hip into his.  “We don’t need credits, we can just look.”
So that’s what you do.  Even though it’s completely not his fucking style, for the next hour or so, you just walk around downtown with him and sip your caf, looking at anything and everything new and experiencing it with him.  At first, you think he’s just entertaining you, following you while you discover new streets and attractions, but then he points out different things and you know he's looking, too.  There are large animals harnessed up and pulling carts for people to ride, there's an enormous spinning wheel set up in the distance, its colorful lights flickering out as soon as you ask what the fuck that is and why anyone would ever get inside one.
You eventually end up finishing your caf around the time he’s leading you back through a quiet, abandoned alleyway, and you hand him the empty cup to throw away in one of the trash cans on the corner.  The conversation has faded to a comfortable quiet and you don’t really need to ask—you go willingly, not requiring anything beyond his hands on you and the baby dozing in your arms.
“Come on, sweet girl,” he murmurs, gently sweeping you up into his.  You sigh, glad he’s giving you a moment to prepare yourself this time, holding the sleeping kid securely to your chest and resting your head on his shoulder.  “Let’s go home.”
After you’re comfortable, Din rockets up from the ground and climbs high up into the canvas sky.  He disappears with you and the baby into the pastel clouds above, making it back to the Razor Crest in probably about an hour, maybe less.  You and the baby do nothing more than climb into the comfy floor blankets while Din starts up the engines, and you think you’re dozing off together by the time he makes the pit stop to collect the crib and the jump into hyperspace.
You think he might shower?  You’re not sure—you just know he moves up behind you in bed at one point without any armor, burying his face in your hair while you cuddle the sleepy kid to your chest.  It’s dark in the hull, Din’s palms are bare and warm as they slide around the front of your body and he breathes you in, and there isn’t a single place that can touch you here, not a single place you’d rather be.
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@followwhereshegoes​ Thank you for the stunning artwork! 💕To anyone interested in possibly doing an art collab in the future, please message me!!
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screnwriter-old-i-moved · 3 months ago
a shit ton of prompts for enemies to lovers (2)
warning: contains nsfw
your enemy has just saved you from dying, and while tending to your wounds, you ask them ''why didn't you kill me?'' to which they reply ''because i don't think you deserve to die.''
tracing a knife against your enemy's chest, pressing at their heart, but losing your train of thought when they snatch the knife from your hands, pulling you closer by the waist
you and your enemy kiss each other in front of your crew, making it clear nothing is going to tear you apart, no matter the lengths they go to keep you apart
you're about to leave the room, but your enemy slams the door shut, and with one hand on either side of your head, barricading you against the wall... cue the reckless make-out session
sword fighting with your enemy, only to end up on the ground, with their body pressing into yours, your hands pinned to the ground
telling your lover you hate them and they just laugh, because they know you're spewing bullshit
carving your enemy's name into your dagger
you're not sure why, but somebody just threatened to hurt your enemy, and you have to bite your tongue, being seconds away from strangling them for even suggesting to attack and kill your enemy
somebody has threatened to harm you, so your enemy kills this person, in secret. nobody knows what happened, or how this person died. your enemy won't tell anyone. until one day, you get into an argument, and you've just told your enemy that you can't trust them, they would kill you first chance they get, only for your enemy to say: ''who do you think killed that guy?''
the leader of your enemy's crew is threatening to kill you, and your enemy is faced with a decision — it's either you or their crew. you think you're toast, but instead, without hesitation, your enemy stabs/shoots their leader. it will always be you.
you're laying next to your enemy in bed, pulling a weapon from their pants, throwing it to the ground before rolling on top of them
your enemy's crew has kidnapped you and your friends. as you're tied up, you plead with your enemy to let your friends go. they hesitate at first, but then do as you say
during a passionate kiss, you bite your enemy's lip, actually drawing blood, which only turns them on even more
going from ''don't touch me'' to ''touch me'' and your enemy not being able to take their eyes off of you as you undress them
your enemy is wounded, bleeding from their chest, but they don't have anywhere to go. you (reluctantly) agree to bring them home. as they take off their shirt, you get a good look on their body... and then, as you bandage them up, you get to touch their chest, and as your eyes lock with your enemy's, your hands start exploring their body, and a couple seconds later, you're staring at each other's lips...
you've just been shot, you're bleeding out, and your enemy is freaking the fuck out, dropping the ''i love you, i can't lose you'' card, begging you not to close your eyes
your enemy refuses to lend you, or anyone, their gun. until one day, you're the only one who's allowed to touch it
you're upset one night, and in need of comfort. you subconsciously show up at your enemy's house, but as they open the door, confused as to why you're here, you backtrack, saying it was a mistake, and that you shouldn't be here. you start walking away, but your enemy calls your name, telling you to come inside ''we can go back to hating each other tomorrow.''
your enemy has a child, and you bond instantly with them, which drives your enemy nuts, but for the good of their child, they can't say anything
you and your enemy is forced into fake dating. it doesn't work. you're ruining the entire operation because you can't stop bickering with each other
for one night, you and your enemy give into temptation and sleep with each other, hoping it will solve the tension building between you. it does the opposite.
you've been tortured, you've got bruises all over your face. seeing this, your enemy caresses your cheek, asking ''who did this to you?''
you and your enemy kiss each other to prove there's nothing going on between you, but you get so caught up in each other, you prove the exact opposite
you and your enemy just slept together. nobody can find out about this, or you'll never hear the end of it. your enemy on the other hand, does not at all seem to care.
''i hate you.'' ''say that again.'' you can't say that again. your enemy is now so close to you, that if you were to bend forward, you'd be kissing.
returning a priced procession to your enemy: ''i want something in return.'' ''what?'' ''you.''
pressing a knife against your lover's throat while expressing your undying hatred
sharing a bed with your enemy, and being told ''stay on your side or i'll set this whole bed on fire'' only to wake up the next day with your enemy's arms wrapped around you
will probably make a part three because i've got angst and tension filled kisses [x]
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jyugosgf · 4 months ago
baji keisuke, chifuyu matsuno, & sano manjiro [mikey] competing for their crush's attention: headcanons
[𖤐] hi anon, thank you for requesting! i don't currently write for kazutora, so i replaced him with baji because uh baji brainrot i hope you don't mind! so, for future reference, here are my requesting rules!! hope you guys enjoy!
❧ masterlist
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baji keisuke:
✂︎ in the first place, i really do feel for anybody who even tried to go after anybody that baji likes, because he is an actual menace.
✂︎ he’s extremely annoyed that there seems to be somebody who is going to try and “compete” with him for your attention, and he’ll literally be by your side 24/7, making sure that they don’t even have a chance to get close to you.
✂︎ his jealousy will be absolutely unbridled; it’s very obvious to everyone around him that he’s now in a full-out undeclared war against this person, and he’s extremely determined to win.
✂︎ this dude has no shame, and will loudly announce that you’re his in front of everyone, (even though the two of you aren’t dating) as an attempt to make the person back off.
✂︎ he’ll go to chifuyu and ask him to keep an eye on the person to make sure that they don’t do anything if he ever needs to be away from you for a while.
✂︎ if the person doesn’t get the hint to back off, he’ll definitely corner them somewhere and ask them what their intentions are with you, and will basically just completely bombard them with questions.
✂︎ depending on their answers, he may or may not beat the shit out of them. if they say they just think that you’re someone they can make into their plaything, baji will not hesitate to send this person to the hospital for a couple weeks. if it’s just some shy and quiet type, he’ll tell them to back off, and that you’re his.
✂︎ might set the person’s car on fire.
✂︎ obviously, you have no idea what’s going on, so it’s a bit confusing to you when you notice baji start to be more touchy around you, and when you realize that he’s just been around you a lot more in general. if you ever ask him about it, he’ll completely deny it and call you crazy.
✂︎ “huh? tf are you talking about, i always act like this.”
✂︎ lord help this person if they continue to try and pursue you. he might get so fed up with it that he actually tells you about what’s going on, and might accidentally confess, though he’ll play it off like that was something he meant to do, (the flush on his cheeks says otherwise). maybe i’ll make a part two oneshot to this
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chifuyu matsuno:
✂︎ he’s not going to take it lightly, so he’s going to pull out every trick he has in order to make this person go away, or get some sort of sign that you like him, whichever one came first.
✂︎ he might go to baji for help at first, but swiftly changed his mind when he realizes that baji’s solution is to just beat the person up so that they know not to touch you, (he doesn’t want to scare you though, so he immediately scraps the idea).
✂︎ his first plan of action was to pay extra close attention to you whenever you were talking, and to make sure that he remembered all of it. anything that he deemed as even remotely important, he would store in his mind for conversation later. this was definitely noticeable because you started to see how chifuyu would remember some things that you said in conversation, and mention them to you later on, (it’s pretty sweet to be honest).
✂︎ “you mentioned that you wanted some takoyaki, right? i figured we could stop by here before we went to the arcade.”
✂︎ his second plan of action is to try to disrupt your interactions with this other person. this part of his plan doesn’t go very well, mostly because the moment he sees the two of you hanging out and laughing with each other, he starts to wonder if perhaps this other person is better for you than he is, and he’ll get so caught up in his thoughts that he misses his chance to interrupt.
✂︎ chifuyu isn’t really subtle in hiding how he feels, (even though he thinks he is) so he’ll definitely get approached by his “love rival”. if he learns that the person doesn’t actually have any feelings for you and just wants to play with you, he’s going to be pretty pissed off and will use it as even more motivation to get this person out of the picture.
✂︎ he’ll be fairly jealous if you start to hang out more with this person instead of him, and might randomly show up at your house with some food, asking if he could come in. he’ll ask you a little bit about the person, and will try to get more information on how you feel about them.
✂︎ “so, what do you think about (r/n)?”
✂︎ eventually, he’ll confess to you after he sees this person starting to get really touchy with you. he doesn’t want to miss his chance, and even though he’s really nervous, it’s something he’s willing to do, because if he ever had to see you with his “rival” he would never be able to forgive himself.
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sano manjiro [mikey]:
✂︎ i really don’t even know who would have the guts to try and go after the person that mikey is clearly interested in, but may their soul rest in (pieces) peace. 🙏🏽
✂︎ this boy has no concept of boundaries when it comes to his jealousy, and he will literally be glued to your side whenever he sees the person around. his arms might be around your waist, or he might plop his head on your lap so that you can’t get up and talk to them.
✂︎ if he sees the both of you talking, he’ll immediately be interrupting the conversation, no shame at all. he’ll make up some bogus excuse that you have somewhere to be with him, and that you have to go. if you ask him why he did that, he’ll just say that the person was bothering him, and you’ll be pretty confused on how, but he won’t elaborate.
✂︎ he’s going to be very annoyed about it, and he’s not sure why, (draken literally has to tell him that he’s jealous for him to understand LMAO).
✂︎ “why do you even hang out with them anyways? i’m so much cooler, so you should just come hang out with me instead!”
✂︎ honestly? just extremely annoyed whenever he sees this person, and won’t hesitate to talk to them and tell them that they need to back off of you. this person definitely knows who mikey is, and might taunt him a bit, saying that you weren’t actually his, and what was he going to do about it? was he going to beat him up? trust me when i say this person was bluffing, and that they couldn’t actually take it when mikey decided to beat him up.
✂︎ you’re pretty confused once you realize that your partner for your project had stopped talking to you, and instead kept communications completely over text, and would never talk about anything other than your project now. if you ask mikey if anything happened, he’ll act completely clueless.
✂︎ “oh, that was the partner for your project? well that sucks, you probably wish you had me as your partner, right?” you’ll never be able to find out what happened. r.i.p that poor soul.
help me finals are killing me and my teachers only gave us study material the day before I am stressed
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sinner-as-saint · 5 months ago
Somebody Else
(Mob AU) Cherry!Seb x Reader
Run-through: You decide that it’s high time to tell your boyfriend about the other man in your life, because you couldn’t lie nor keep it a secret anymore. And needless to say, he doesn’t take it very well.
Themes: angst, smut, jealous!seb, fluff
a/n: for those confused, ‘cherry!seb’ is mob!seb, we just gave him a name because well, click here
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You were so anxious that it was hard to breathe for a little while. 
The moment you heard his car entering the gates, you shot up from the couch and rushed down the stairs. You had been thinking about this for a while now, but tonight was the right time. You couldn’t lie anymore. And it hurt you each time you had to refrain yourself from bringing it up on the phone. 
Just as you reached the foyer, you watched Seb walk in - the notorious mob boss who was mean, and ruthless and cruel to anyone else but you. To you, he was everything you could ask for. 
He smiled the moment his eyes met yours. “Hi babygirl.” He opened his arms and engulfed you in a warm, tight bear hug. He had been away for work for days, and right now all he wanted was to be home with you. 
“Hi baby. Welcome home.” You nuzzled his neck and inhaled his absolutely delicious cologne. You pulled away to look up at him but he was busy scanning your outfit. 
He frowned for a brief moment, “Are we going somewhere?” He couldn’t help but ask because although you always looked beautiful, the little sundress you were wearing was absolutely stunning. 
You linked your arm with his as you two walked further into your home. “Nope.” You answered, and bit down on your lip as you looked up at him. 
He stopped and grabbed you by the waist to pull you closer to give you a sweet kiss on the lips. He pulled away gently, “So you got all dressed up just for me?” You nodded at his question and he chuckled, leaning in to kiss the side of your mouth again. “You know, as much as I appreciate you looking extra pretty for me, all I wanna do it get you out of this dress and-,”
“No,” You whined playfully, pulling away. “Not happening. Go freshen up, I made dinner.” You watched how his brows furrowed a little at you. 
“Okay…” His reply sounded more like a question. “Did I forget something, baby? Our anniversary is in December, your birthday is next month and we-,” 
You cut him off again, he was stressed out you could tell. “You didn’t forget anything. You’ve been working a lot lately, you’ve been away from home a lot. I just wanted to do something nice for when you get back.” You whispered, grabbing him by his face and pulling him in for a kiss. 
He moaned into the kiss and tightened his arms around you, feeling your warm body beneath the dress. “You didn’t have to do anything. You make me feel so much better just by being here with me.” He whispered, his voice deeper, as he kissed his way down your neck. His touch was very persuasive and you almost gave in but then you remembered… 
“Okay,” You giggled as you pulled away. “Don’t ruin my plans, now go shower. I’ll be waiting,” You pulled away from his embrace and he groaned as you walked away from him. You turned to face him one last time before you walked into the open kitchen, “And you better be back before I finish my first glass of wine.” You winked at him. 
He bolted. Ran upstairs as fast as he could, smiling to himself and wondering how he got so lucky. 
Seb showed up sometime later, showered and relaxed; smelling even better. You watched him enter the kitchen, his body moving slowly but confidently - dressed in nothing but just dark grey sweatpants. You bit your lip again as he walked over to you and tried to get all cozy again but you pushed him away playfully. 
Midway through dinner, he looked up at you and took your hand in his. “This is torture.” He murmured, taking a sip of wine while rubbing slow circles on the back of your hand. 
You smirked. “What, I made your favorite dinner, opened your favorite wine. How is that torture?” You knew you had to get him in the right mood before telling him all that you had to say. 
He studied your face for a while, narrowing his eyes at you. “Is there something you want? Babygirl, you know all you have to do is ask. Whatever it is, I’ll get you.” He spoke, then lifted your hand up to his lips, pressing a soft kiss to your knuckles. 
You tilted your head to the side. “What do you mean? I make us dinner all the time, why does this seem suspicious to you?” 
He playfully nipped at your finger. “Because I know you too well. And I know you’re up to something.” 
You pulled your hand away to pick up your fork again. “Well I’m not, now eat up.” 
Dinner was just as perfect as you wanted it to. And another glass of wine later, you and Seb found yourselves on the couch in the living room, watching a movie - barely, because Seb was having trouble keeping his hands to himself. 
Each time he slid his hand under your dress, you pushed his hand away. You purposely dodged each one of his kisses, and you knew it wouldn’t be long before he snaps. But you needed to get him desperate enough to where you’d have his whole attention. 
“Babygirl,” he whined, pulling you on his lap again, “Give me a kiss, come on.” He grabbed your face and pressed his lips to yours. You kissed him back, wondering if you should just tell him now. 
You pulled away from his kiss and straddled him, he looked up at you with the same curious look he’s had all evening. “Okay,” you took a deep breath. “There’s something I need to tell you.” 
Seb raised an eyebrow at you. “See? I knew it. I knew you were up to something.” He almost purred as he ran his hands up and down your thighs. 
You inched closer to him, and cupped his face in your hands so you had his undivided attention. “I love you, you know that, right? I will always love you, no matter what.” 
He blinked at you, nodding. 
You kept going. “And whatever happened, it was… it was so unexpected. I wouldn’t call it a mistake but I- I didn’t think it through at the moment. But that doesn’t mean I love you any less.” 
He sat up a little straighter, grabbing your hips so you don’t fall off his lap. He blinked once again. “Baby, what are you talking about?” His heart raced just a little. He had no idea where this was going. 
You sighed, and looked down at his bare chest. You brought your hand down and traced along his freckles and indents of his muscles. “Um, recently you’ve been gone a lot. And I’m fine with it really, I mean I know you work so much and how important work is for you. But I… I was so lonely and vulnerable at the time and he just-,”
Seb cut you off with a look of horror on his face. “He? Who’s ‘he’?” He looked like he was confused, angry and surprised all at once. 
“Baby, just listen, okay? It didn’t mean anything, it’s not… I wasn’t supposed to get attached but then you know, I-,”
Seb cut you off by sitting up straighter and he grabbed both your wrists and held them away from his face. “Attached? To who? You… you found somebody else?” 
You sighed, “Baby… I didn’t mean for it to happen.” 
His eyes widened. “What the hell are you talking about? Did you- do you… did you cheat on me?” His voice cracked a little by the end. 
You lowered your head in shame. “I… I met him through a friend, they know each other and he was staying with her until he found a new place. And he came along with her when I invited them for dinner the other night. You were away at that time, and I… it wasn’t supposed to but it just happened.” 
Seb repeated your words in his mind. It just happened… it just happened? 
He grabbed your thigh and pushed you to the side, gently. His movements were so slow as he got up from the couch with a frown on his face. “What… what do you mean ‘it just happened’?” He walked a few steps away, stopping by the fireplace and then turned to look at you. You sat criss-cross on the couch, lowering your face still. “Look at me!” You could hear the disbelief in his voice. 
You lifted your head up to look at him. His body flushed with the anger he was having trouble containing. He ran his fingers through his short hair, his muscles flexing as he did. 
“I’m sorry.” You murmured. 
He looked at you like the apology only drove another dagger through his heart. “You’re sorry?” He sounded defeated. “You cheat on me, and that’s all you have to say? That you’re sorry?” 
“Babe, I-,” 
He snapped. “Don’t call me that!” He took a deep breath, running his fingers through his hair again as he paced in front of the fireplace. “Why.. how did- when did you…” he stopped rambling. Too many thoughts ran through his mind all at once. He was having trouble breathing, and his head was pounding - he felt like he was going to be sick. 
“When they came over for dinner that night, uh, we all had a little too much to drink and I couldn’t let them drive back home so I offered that they spend the night and leave in the morning. And that’s when I… I got to know him a little more and…” You looked at Seb and found him staring at you, his heart breaking, “and that’s when-,”
“Enough.” He looked away, hands on his waist. “So you just- why are you even telling me this right now? Why tell me at all? Because you couldn’t live with yourself, or is it… is it because you’re in love with him or something?” 
Your silence gave him the answer he needed. 
“What the fuck? You’re just gonna throw away all we had for this dude? Who the hell is he anyways? You know I’m gonna find out who he is and I’m gonna make sure it hurts when I-,”
You got up from the couch and walked over to him, placing your hands on either side of his waist. His skin was warmer than usual. “Seb please, I care about him.” 
Seb looked at you like you spoke some other language. “What bullshit is this?” His heart was beating like crazy, an unpleasant chill dancing down his spine as he felt the tips of his fingers getting numb. “You… you what? Are you-,” He stopped talking abruptly, panic showing all over his face briefly before it was replaced by burning anger. He pushed your hands away from his body. “Is he… is he here right now?” He gestured upstairs. “Are you keeping him here? Has he been here this whole time?” 
“Baby, just listen okay? He needed a place to-,”
Seb cut you off by rushing past you and rushing to the drawer where he kept a spare gun, always. You ran after him. 
“Seb, wait.” You caught up with him at the stairs. “Just wait, okay, I-,” 
He cut you off by grabbing your wrist and tugging you along as he rushed up the stairs. “So not only do you cheat on me, but you let him stay in our own home?” He sounded like he was trying so hard not to unleash the beast inside at you. “What did you think, you were gonna convince me and all three of us would live happily ever after?” 
You remained quiet, you hadn’t expected this to turn so violent so soon. 
When you reached the landing upstairs, Seb pushed you against the wall, almost growling in anger as he caged you in. “I’ll deal with you later, babygirl. But first I’m gonna deal with your little boy toy and I’m gonna make you watch as I hurt him.” He meant it, every single word. “Where is he?” he asked, his voice dropping so low that you visibly shivered. 
You opened your mouth, then closed it, then opened it again. “Don’t hurt him.” You murmured and his hands were shaking with all the emotions that he was having trouble dealing with all at once. 
He chuckled, darkly. You looked into his eyes and they had darkened too. “Don’t tell me what to do, babygirl. Do you really think you can protect him?” He leaned in closer, his lips just inches away from yours, “Where is he?” He asked slowly. 
There was no way for you to get out of this one. “The… guest room.” 
Seb didn’t move for a few seconds, his brain still processing all of what just happened in the span of a few minutes. His heart was breaking more and more with each passing moment. “I’m gonna burn this whole house down,” he grabbed your wrist again, tugging you further down the hallway and towards the guest room, “With him in it.” He growled the last bit. 
He gave you a piercing look as you reached the guest room. He let go of your hand and cocked his gun. He didn’t even think twice as he burst through the door, “You piece of-,” 
You heard how his voice died down into a groan. You pushed open the door even wider and took a step further in, you crossed your arms over your chest as you leaned against the doorframe. You giggled at the sight in front of you. 
Seb clutched his chest as he fell onto his knees on the floor, exhaling loudly and lowering his head to the floor. And in front of him was the little ball of black and white fur - your new pup, a baby Border Collie. 
Your friend was fostering him, and she brought the pup along when she came over for dinner the other night and told you about how he needed a forever home. You hadn’t thought about having a dog just yet, but when you saw this little baby that night, you knew you had to keep him. So you did, and you hadn’t told Seb about it right away. 
And well, he just found out. 
“Isn’t he handsome?” You asked, and upon hearing your voice, the little one yelped and ran over to you on its little legs. You giggled as you picked him up and walked further into the room, which was filled with everything a dog could need. You went over and knelt right in front of Seb, holding up the pup, making them both face each other. 
“Don’t burn the house down. I’m sorry I cheated on you with this handsome boy.” You teased. 
Seb finally lifted his head to look at you both. He hissed, “I think I’m having a heart attack. Or my blood pressure is really really high.” He locked his gun and tossed it to the side. “Woman, you’re killing me.” 
You rolled your eyes at Seb. “Oh stop your theatrics.” You looked down at your new dog, stroking his soft fur. “Did you really think I would cheat on you?” When you looked back up at your boyfriend, he was looking down at the dog. 
“You scared me for a moment. I didn’t know what to think. I didn’t think, I just...” He groaned. “You really know how to mess with me, don’t you?” 
You giggled, and he threw you a dirty look before picking up the pup from your arms to inspect it better. “So this little guy kept you company while I was gone?” The little one yelped and started licking Seb’s chin eagerly. “I think I’ll forgive him, good thing he’s cute.” 
You watched them both, smiling like crazy. “I named him Kenny.” 
You then spent the next hour explaining how you got the dog and hung out with your new pet, until Kenny fell asleep. And while you stepped out of the room, Seb grabbed you and pushed you against the wall again, just outside the guest room. 
“I hope you know that had there been a guy in there, I would shoot him first and ask questions later.” He whispered before pressing his lips to yours. 
You smiled into the kiss, giggling when he bit down on your lip. “You crazy man,” You pulled away to look into his eyes. “I love you, I wouldn’t do that to you, to us.” 
“Hmm,” he leaned in to kiss your neck. “Don’t you dare leave me.” He mumbled against your skin. “I mean it.” 
“Else you’re gonna burn this house down?” You teased him for his dramatic threat earlier. 
He groaned, pinching your butt and making you squeal. “Or I’m gonna burn this whole city to the ground,” he corrected you, “And everyone in it.” He added, making you chuckle as you pulled him in for another kiss. 
Seb had gotten rid of your dress before you even made it to your bedroom. 
You laughed as you made him chase you around the room, and he groaned each time he missed you. “Come here, you little-,” He finally caught you and pinned you down on the bed, straddling you and gripping your wrists in his hands as he leaned down to kiss you. “You better make up for almost giving me a stroke, babygirl.” He murmured. 
You gasped as he bit down on your neck, kissing and licking along your throat. “And you better make up for being away so much.” You sassed. 
He chuckled. “Well then, we both have a lot to make up for it seems.” 
Seb placed his mouth on top of yours to swallow your whimpers and moans as he pushed his cock into you. He groaned as he pushed himself fully into you. He lifted his head and watched you grimace in pleasure and pain as his cock stretched you out. He watched you in awe as your lips parted and you moaned his name once he filled you up nicely. 
You whined as he slowly slipped out of you completely, before slamming back into you with a slightly bigger force. 
He groaned at the feeling of your walls wrapped around him, squeezing and clenching around him. You heard him swear and felt him bite down on your lip as he sped up into you. He tugged on your lips and he started moving his hips; rocking into you slowly, then gradually increasing his speed. Your back arched off the surface of the bed again and your chest pressed to his.  
He moaned into your ear. “You’re mine.” 
“Baby…” You were a moaning mess under him in no time. There was something about the way he kissed you, deeply and passionately; as though he was scared you might just get away from him.
He worshipped your body. He mumbled how good you felt in your ear, groaning as you bucked your hips to meet each one of his thrusts as well. He kissed you roughly as he pounded into you; fingers wrapped around your throat. He fucked you raw and relentlessly, watching how your face morphed into frowns of pleasure. 
He pressed his forehead on yours; looking down to where your bodies connected so intimately. Then he pulled away to look into your eyes with that animalistic, primal and fiery look in his eyes. His lips parted as he panted while he fucked you like he owned you.
“You missed me, didn’t you, babygirl?” 
You nodded, whining in pleasure. He smirked. His hand left your neck and slid in between your connected bodies and furiously rubbed your clit, earning a loud moan out of you.
“Say it, baby. Tell me how much you missed my cock buried deep inside you…” 
You couldn’t talk as the pressure in between your legs became too much to handle, and you craved for release. 
He cooed, “Missed me so much it had you acting up. Scheming for ways to torture me for being away from you for so long…” a dark chuckle followed his words, “For not being here to fuck this greedy little cunt, huh?”
He noticed that you were too much in a haze to respond. So he just slipped his tongue back into your mouth and took your bottom lip between his teeth again.
“Come on, cum for me babygirl…,” he swore as he felt you clench around him perfectly. You came hard around him, moaning and whimpering under him as he finished right after you; kissing your swollen lips deeply as he came.
He pushed his face into the crook of your neck as he caught his breath. And you cradled his head; panting as well. Your fingers gently massaged his scalp as he calmed his racing heart. “I’ve missed you so much.” You mumbled. 
A few moments later, he shifted all his weight right on top of you making you laugh as you tried to scoot out from under him. 
He groaned and pulled you closer. “Come here.” He pressed you against his body and wrapped his arms around. “I love you. So much. Don’t you ever leave me.” 
You buried your face into his chest, inhaling his scent. “Never happening. You’re my one and only.”
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rinstars · a month ago
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PAIRING : Suna Rintarō x Reader. Sakusa Kiyoomi x Reader.
GENRE : Angst.
TAGS/WARNINGS : NSFW. Fake Dating. Unrequited Love. Profanity. Enemies (not really) to Lovers. Not very canon compliant.
SYNOPSIS : You have been in love with your best friend Sakusa Kiyoomi for as long as you can remember. The problem? He is in love with somebody else. And for you to snag even the tiniest bit of his affections, it seems like you would willingly go through drastic measures.. Even if it means teaming up with his lifelong rival, Suna Rintarō
NOTE : I think this is definitely way longer than I originally planned it to be but the support is too great for me to just brush off so here's 5.1k words for the first act hehe enjoy! RBs & Likes appreciated <3
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How long has it been since you and Kiyoomi became friends—no, best friends, you wonder? Did it start when you moved into their neighborhood, living just a few houses away from him? Or was it when he asked you to toss a ball for him to spike despite you literally having no idea how to handle a ball? Maybe when you moved away from Tokyo to attend a different school and you both started calling each other even if it was in the dead of night for the sake of catching up?
You don't really remember exactly. But what you do know is that being Sakusa Kiyoomi's best friend eventually ended up becoming your brand. It followed you everywhere you go, everybody knew who you were and how important you are to him. It didn't matter that he wasn't there beside you physically, the pictures all over his socials, and the way he treats you when he is, tell people all they needed to know. It was the type of relationship everybody has no choice but to respect.
All the admiration has more to do with him rather than you, though. He's a genius, to say the least, and very, very charming. He's one of the top aces in the country. Not to mention the fact that he has the good looks and height to go along with it. Sometimes you think it's unfair how he's rich and smart too, because then you really seem like a no-match for him and the others would have been right when they told you to stay away from him.  After all, had the power to draw anyone to him and the girls line up trying to get his attention—those who are on the same standing ground as him. Cheerleaders, models, rich bachelorettes, the list could go on forever.
However, Sakusa Kiyoomi was uninterested and all the attention he could give was all spent on you and volleyball. Not once did he ever make you feel like he didn't treasure you and he always had a subtle way of reminding you to ignore the others who try to threaten your place with him. None of them ever mattered to him. As a matter of fact, he usually just brushed everybody off.
That was until she came.
She seems like a genuine girl. The only problem with the whole situation being the fact you're in love with your best friend. Thanks to that, her presence always seems to have a way of leaving an uncomfortable feeling in your stomach—the kind that makes you want to pull your hair out and scream into the void. You're enraged that she's way too sweet, way too kind. There is nothing left for you to nitpick and hate her for because she's practically the living definition of perfect—rich, tall, beautiful.
A part of you keeps wishing she would slip even just for a little bit. Maybe show a side of her you didn't expect and make her out to be an ungrateful, dishonest, and disrespectful person.
Because then you would have an excuse for ruining her relationship with Sakusa.
Every time you see him, everything hurts. Just how foolish were you to believe that you actually had a chance with him? That his actions were not just a product of the fact that you were his only female best friend and that was why he showers you with the affections you never thought you'd have to see on anyone else? Why did you lead yourself to believe he sees you more than a sister and a friend?
Watching them from a distance, in love and content with each other, eventually led to the feeling of being unloved. Trying to ignore it is futile when it already happened to catch up to you and nag at your head every single time you had to hear stories of them from the people all around you. People from all around town can't get enough of the latest gossip, after all. Everyone was thrilled—or rather, curious at the news of Sakusa Kiyoomi finally being taken.
What's more surprising, though, is the fact that it wasn't with his best friend.
It wasn't with you.
It made you feel uncomfortable. The questions that people would throw your way as to why and how it led to this causing an uncomfortable silence to hang in the air without fail. What do you tell them? That he never saw you in that way despite the idea all of you had been forced to believe?
Situations like those make you question a lot of things about yourself—if you were lacking in any aspect and perhaps that's why someone got ahead of you and is now threatening your spot in Kiyoomi's life. If you think about it, he's not one to put looks and wealth in high regard for choosing a partner, so you highly doubt that's what it was. He's not the type of person who easily falls in love with a new and unfamiliar face either—and he's proven that time and time again since when you were in high school.
You've been struggling to find the answer for a while now but if there was one thing you're at least sure of, it is that you're not undesirable. At least that's what your recent.. encounters seem to tell you. The men you sleep with slowly becoming a new addition to your life, giving you a pastime—all to try and erase the feeling of being unloved, you turn to a new habit.
A bad habit.
You were almost completely sure Kiyoomi would have never expected this side of you. He would never imagine that his best friend goes to a different club to pick a new guy to get in bed with every night. Actually, he probably never even thinks about you anymore.
Not when he has a new, loving girlfriend to accompany his thoughts.
His girlfriend that you convince yourself is not the one for him. She's just really off and the way he acts around her makes everything even more suspicious. That's not my Kiyoomi, you would tell yourself stubbornly. But really, what would you know when you've never been on the receiving end of his romantic love? You're nothing but making up scenarios in your head to cope with the pain that bubbles in your chest every time the days you used to spend together slowly drift to dates spent with her.
To add more salt to the wound, how come you have never heard of this girl before they started dating? Like he didn't even care enough about you to let you know a woman has finally gained his favor and attention. It puts a frown on your face how he suddenly introduced a girlfriend to you one day without warning. Anyway, It's not really something you can just bring up, especially if you’re completely wrong and Kiyoomi would actually appreciate the privacy for once and that's why he didn't tell you. That or maybe he isn't as dense as you thought, and he recognizes the feelings you harbor for him—that's why he didn't have the heart to break the news off to you.
You haven't been speaking much with each other recently anyway, so there would be no chance to bring it up. The reason why? You're not really sure. Probably too preoccupied with his girlfriend whom he left away for weeks alone for a game with the Jackals. Rolling your eyes, you were about to release what seems like the twentieth sigh of the day when you got interrupted by the sudden buzzing of the phone in your hand—reading a message from none other than Sakusa Kiyoomi himself.
Omi <3 : meet me in the park in a few? need your help with something.
You can't help but snicker at the fact that he reached out to communicate first this time, smiling a little to yourself. He's, after all, your best friend no matter what anyone says, and the fact that he still comes to you for help does make you feel special without fail. You're glad that not even the new addition in his life can contain the trust he's built up with you over the years.
He's leaning against one of the trees in the park near your neighborhood when you saw him—his hair falling on his eye while he taps a foot on the grass below him uninterestedly. You quietly make your way over to him, sitting next to his foot on the ground before resting your head back on the trunk, looking up at him as you wait for whatever he has to say.
"I need your help," he begins, repeating the content of the message he sent you a few minutes ago—sliding down to sit next to you with a click of his tongue. You're hyperaware of his shoulders brushing yours as his presence gets closer to yours—his eyes flying over to your frame beside him.
You simply nod in response, more to yourself than him. Your eyes flying over to the dogs playing a few steps away from you to serve as a distraction while you keep refusing the eye contact with him, "Of course. That's the only reason you call me these days."
"I'm getting her a present," He sighs, getting straight to the point and ignoring your previous remark. "which I need by Saturday. We're going over to her parents the next day and I want her to have it by then."
"You've been dating for two weeks, Omi."
"Two months." He corrects you sternly, hand reaching up to run it through his raven hair, "And I want to get her a necklace, the ones with gemstones in it. I promised I'd help her get one when I return."
You slightly tip your head upwards in response, waiting for the next part of the sentence you know isn't over yet. His eyes glance at you for a second to make sure you're listening to him before he continues, "But I don't have any idea on what girls like."
"Why not ask your girlfriend about it? It's not like it's a surprise if you already talked about it," You finally give a response, looking up at him and meeting his unwavering eyes—nothing like you would expect hearing how anxious he's getting about his gift.
His hands make their way to the back of his head, rubbing it a little as he speaks with a heavy sigh, something that sounds like he's in between the line of uncertainty and frustration, "I would if we were on speaking terms right now."
"A peace offering, then," you mumble, pulling your knees closer to your body. "You've grown, Omi."
His head suddenly snaps to face you, a ghost of smile threatening to show on his lips, "I'm older than you." He points out, eyes with a glint of mischievousness despite the fact that he sounds heavily unamused.
"Barely," you shrug at him with a faux glare, the ten-month difference a topic that comes up every time he asks for your favor—thinking the advantage in age would be handy and get you to agree.
What can you say? It works every time.
Now, whether it's because his authority gets to you or the unrequited love doing the job, is what you're not sure of.
"Well, if you're giving it to me I would say onyxes are great," you say without much thought, eyes drawn to his as he eyes you with complete interest. You look away from him, "That's just a personal choice, however."
"Onyx?" He raises a brow at you, "Black? Really?"
"Yes," you contemplate for a moment, thinking of adding the fact that it's because it's the color of his eyes but you decide against it. You're not really in the mood to be cheesy, much less have Sakusa catch on your pathetic feelings. You quickly drop the topic, "Just go for diamonds. Can't go wrong with a classic round brilliant cut."
You turn your head to him when he doesn't immediately respond and you couldn't help but soften at the way he smiled at you—barely there and not with teeth, nonetheless a smile. Sakusa isn't one to smile a lot, especially with people he's only acquainted with. Maybe that's why to you, seeing it felt more than a simple upturn of his lips—it was a sign that tells you he's comfortable with you.
"That almost sounds like you want me to get you one as well," he snickers with a fake edge on his tone, deep voice ringing through your ears like a melody you couldn't get enough of.
"Oh, shut up," you roll your eyes, shoulders bumping into his with a smile forming on your lips. "A simple 'thanks' would have been good enough, " you swallow thickly, carefully eyeing the expression on his face, "Don't worry. She's gonna love it."
Avoiding her in conversations has always worked out well for you. If you don't think about her and refuse to bring her up on topics where she isn't needed, then it saves you the heartache of constant wishing to be the one in her place. This time, though, it's not like you had any choice. Not when she was the focus of the conversation.
Every time the conversation makes a full circle back to her, you feel like gagging—a bitter taste in your mouth as you consistently try to ignore the feeling that your chest was on fire.
Kiyoomi chuckled back at you with a nod—a wordless response on how he understands what he should do. He brushed his jeans and stood up, hair getting caught in the wind and you almost want to curse at how effortlessly attractive he looks right now as you're slowly dying inside. Turning over his shoulder, he reached a hand out to you, "You coming?"
Shaking your head at him, you quickly decline—wanting a time alone with yourself to recollect your raging thoughts. Just then, a familiar figure catches the corner of your vision—someone familiar dressed in running attire as he sips from his water bottle.
"Thanks, YN," Kiyoomi reaches for your hand anyway, squeezing it gently in gratitude before stuffing it back in his pockets and walking away with a nod, "Get home safe, yeah?"
You sigh and close your eyes for a minute, listening to the bickering of the four siblings near the swing set and ignoring the presence of the other man a few meters away from you—scrolling away on his phone as he probably takes a minute to rest from his run.
When you do open your eyes, however, you tense to find him nowhere around the place you remember him to be. That is, until you feel a presence beside you—jogging over to catch one stray ball of the children playing which happened to roll by your side and tossing it back to them. Glancing at him from your position on the floor, your cheeks suddenly grew hot when his golden-green ones fly over to meet yours—the same cold and detached look never failing to make an appearance.
Grabbing your phone from beside you, you get ready to stand up—not wanting to be around the enigma that is Suna Rintarō any longer. His eyes make you uncomfortable, not because of the sharp look he always seems to give people, but because it feels like it can read right through your very being.
Just as you were about to stand up, palms pressing flat on the ground to help yourself up, your little theory gets confirmed way too soon—a cold voice breaking the silence that hangs in the air.
"He doesn't love you."
Your head whipped at the sound of his voice, eyes looking up to see the expression on the face of the man who reads you all too easily. Sure enough, there he stands, towering over you—hair falling over the sides of his face while looking down on you with eyes made of a unique shade of peridot. Craning your neck to get a better look at him, he glances back at you with passiveness—if you didn't look closely, you would miss the way his eyes are slightly narrow. Whether that's disgust or pity, you wouldn't know.
"Excuse me?" you try to protest, ask what he's trying to say, and deflect the accusations of what he's trying to insinuate. The look he gives you doesn't change, like an early warning that tells you it's futile to try and fool him.
"You're wasting your time," he simply shrugs at you, bending down to tie his shoelaces and grab the water bottle you didn't notice he set on the floor. "You know he doesn't see you that way."
He sees through you too easily. If you could call it a skill, then it's another one to add to Suna's excessive collection. You didn't even have to be too close with him to know how he operates with other people—his talent in blocking when you come to watch matches enough to tell you all you need to know about what kind of person he is. It's even harder to try and deny the things he says, especially when even you know he's right.
Suna Rintarō has always been quiet. Sly and calculating. He reads people too easily—like an open book and yet almost nobody knows the first thing about it. Sure, his high school and V.League teams know him, but even then, only the very few people he's closely acquainted with. He's a mystery and that very thing alone draws people, especially girls, to his side.
The ladies think he's an enigma to solve and that the first one to crack the code wins the prize which comes in the form of being his formally introduced girlfriend. He's had his fair share of flings, slept around a lot during high school and college, but nobody has ever held the title of actually being his girl. That's what the girls are desperate for. Too bad he never seems to be interested.
EJP's middle blocker has always been around in your life, even if it was completely unintentional. Being friends with Kiyoomi meant you were always around during the Nationals and that resulted in you getting to know the teams a lot more than you expected. Now, it seems the both of you are even closer seeing as he moved directly across from you and attended the same university you did.
Even then, it's been a while since you last saw him as he has also just returned from an away game with Raijins like Kiyoomi with the Jackals.
From high school until now, he's still the talk of the town, talk of the industry. Everyone knew him back then as Inarizaki's middle blocker, the top scorer of the team next to their ace Aran Ojiro. Outside the court, he's friends with the Miya Twins and that meant he attracted just as many girls as the brothers did, making him one of their most popular members.
Right now, as he plays professionally, everyone in the scene still can't stop talking about him. Star athlete with skills enough to be one of the strongest candidates to play in the Olympics—not to mention how attractive and tall he is. At this point, it's impossible for people around not to know who Suna Rintarō is. One way or another, they've spoken at least a single word about him.
Everyone but Kiyoomi.
Sakusa has never once spoken about him but you felt the tension that arises in the air every time they encounter each other. The subtle glares that go beyond rivalry in the court. You weren't stupid, you know that nobody's really friends with a rival team, and even if there were exceptions, those who treat each other with some kind of hostility still overweigh those who don't. However, you wonder what it is about Suna and Sakusa and why they seem to hold deeper contempt with each other than the rest.
Even if you asked Kiyoomi about it, you'd be damned before getting an answer—especially when the guy doesn't even want to look in Suna's direction. At times when you do witness and hear him talk about Suna, it's always about how the way he looks at him pisses him off and something about not being able to stand how arrogant he sounds.
Being this close to Suna Rintarō definitely gives you a better grasp of what Kiyoomi was talking about. Sharp eyes, defined jawline, tall, and speaks with an indifferent tone. He's just like you've always heard and expected him to be.
Except that he's much hotter looking at him this closely.
You must have been staring for too long without realizing, eyes scanning his face when he snaps you out of your thoughts again, "What?" he speaks a bit louder, showing no signs of getting self-conscious under your intense gaze.
You shrug, "Nothing. I guess I just never realized how attractive you really are," he raised his eyebrows at that—even higher when you stand up and walk closer to him.
He almost feels just like Kiyoomi. Tall, handsome, rich. Hands so slim and beautiful, immense concentration and passion in his sport. Hell, they both even have the same tepid way of speaking.
Besides, you're not one to deny the things that are clearly exposed in front of you, no matter the circumstances—talent, attractiveness, and power. All of which he obviously possesses.
An immature thought makes its way to you. Foolish, yes, but nonetheless exciting. See, now that you're properly looking at him, maybe he can be the guy of the night. Maybe with him, you would feel like you're closer to Sakusa—pretend that he is the one fucking you instead of the men you couldn't even remember the faces of.
"Suna," you trail off as you take another step closer, lips going to his ears and almost touching the lobe, "I've been thinking.. You're attractive—which I've always known, but it's alarmingly too much when I'm this close to you," you take in the way he barely reacts to your words, nothing more than a slight twitch in his fingers, "And surprisingly—no, coincidentally, we live too close to each other. My house or yours, I don't think it really matters. So, how about we.."
His breath hitched at that, disbelief catching up to him as he chokes out the next words, "Excuse me?"
It works for everyone, every single man, but Suna is a man full of surprises so there's really no telling how he would react to all this. Either way, you take another shot at it, "Stay with me for the night, Rintarō."
He almost cringed at the use of his first name, holding you by the shoulders to push you away from him and look at your face with a peeved gaze, "Are you that desperate?"
You were about to speak before he cuts you off, eyes narrow and voice stern it almost makes you cower beneath the intensity, "I don't do one-night stands."
The bluntness almost makes you recoil but you take on a playful tone and continue, "Then we can do it for two nights, three nights, as many nights as you want. You live three steps away from me, it would be so easy to meet," Not really, but you're trying to lure him into you and it seems you're good at lying your way around what works for him.
Your fingers dance on his chest, tracing swirling patterns on the firmness of the surface. He makes no move to stop you, "I don't do fuck buddies either, YN."
You glare at him a little, pulling back to look for any trace of deceit on his face. Surprisingly enough, there's none—which is shocking. To your knowledge, he's not dating anyone and you're pretty sure he's not a virgin either.
"Bullshit," you scoff at him, brows furrowing. "Everybody knows you slept around an awful lot of times during high school—not to mention uni."
He's resolute, "I did," you raise an eyebrow at that, "Not anymore."
Tilting your head, you wait for the catch—anything that will tell you he's playing around because he didn't have the right to outright refuse your.. desperate advances. But then again, it's true you haven't seen him around with a girl recently. But surely, somewhere, somehow..
"What, do you have a girlfriend?" you ask in horror, eyes slightly widening despite your refusal.
"I don't."
He exhales with a look of disbelief, more on your stubbornness than the idea you're suggesting, "No."
"Then why not?" you almost whine at how difficult he's being, shoulders dropping unconsciously while a frown forces its way to your face—both from disappointment and embarrassment. "I just want to forget about him."
"No," the grim tone of his voice made you look back up, golden-green eyes stuck to yours with a look of pity. "You want to pretend I'm him for a night. To try and see if you'll be satisfied cause you think I'm the closest you have next to him."
He looks at you incredulously, your jaw clenching as he continuously points out the thing you've never had to hear coming from anybody else. Having someone tell you feeling like a punch to your gut.
"You got me," you break the eye contact, gaze landing on a lone stone on the grass. "But what's so bad about that? It can be a one-night thing."
"I hate the guy, YN," he almost spits the words out. "I don't want to hear you moan his name when I'm taking you on my bed," A pause, "Plus it's demeaning, yeah?"
"No one has ever turned me down before," you pursed your lips, words coming out more like a whisper. "No matter how different you may be from everyone, doesn't every guy dream of fucking some hot girl who's asking for nothing else in return afterward at least once in their lives?"
"Hot?" his brows lift at that, the usual droop of his eyelids slowly opening at your words.
"You don't think I'm hot?" you're a little taken aback, a pause that makes your jaw hang open—keeping the next words out of your mouth. Is that it? Sure, you're not Sakusa's girlfriend type of beauty but a lot of people fawn over you. But did he think you weren't attractive?
"I think you're beautiful," he looks away despite how monotonous the words sounded—almost like he didn't even mean it. Bending down again to grab his water bottle you didn't even was discarded, he looks up at you from his kneeling position, "But it's gonna take more than physical appearance to get me."
You didn't know what to say. Who would have known Suna Rintarō ended up becoming mature before you even had the chance to go through with your stupid.. proposal.
He doesn't say anything else after that, side-eyeing you for a little before jogging away and leaving your slumped figure by the tree. You're surprised he even stayed long enough to listen to what you were trying to say—no matter how absurd they sounded.
Still, your recent encounter can't help but make you wonder what happened for Suna Rintarō to change as much as he did. Surely, it could be the fact that he simply has no time for it now or the fact that he's matured. However, you just couldn't wrap your head around it—not that it's any of your business. Perhaps you're really just looking too much into Suna Rintarō's affairs
You don't see him for the rest of the week after that—getting lost in the sea of artificial pleasures with faces and names you didn't care enough about to remember.
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Meeting Suna was a one-time thing, something that happened in the spur of a moment, a coincidental encounter. Forgetting him came easy along with the fading effects of the conversation you shared with him about spending the night. Truthfully, you didn't think you'd ever even see him again, even if he lived directly across from you. Both of you are too used to ignoring each other's presence, your eyes naturally drifting away from each other whenever you pass by.
Even if you happen to encounter him again, you were set on ignoring him and pretending like none of the events last week ever took place. That is until one afternoon, when you decided to grab a cup of coffee, you ended up catching a rather intriguing sight—Suna seated on a two-seater with Kiyoomi's girlfriend standing on the opposite side.
Well, that's an interesting combination.
You strained your ears to listen to what they're talking about. After all, what business would these two have with each other? If you and Suna were a strange sight to see, even more so her and Suna. Is she not aware of her boyfriend's disdain towards the guy?
"My mom's on a business trip and doesn't return until Saturday," Omi's girlfriend explains, tongue darting out to wet her lips before continuing. "Don't worry, I'll pass it on to her when she does," she gestures to the box she's holding in her fingers, lifting it up slightly as she waits for his response.
Suna stares for a second, and another—possibly way more if you actually bothered to count—before nodding.
"Great!" she smiles at him, eyes shining and the light around her almost creating a halo at how bright she is. "Well, thanks for this. I'll be going now, Suna!"
It takes you a beat or two before realization dawns—silently smirking to yourself as you approach the man leaning back on the chair with eyes trained on the leaving figure of the woman on the glass doors.
"Oh my," you gasp in astonishment, a playful lilt in your tone as you pull the chair opposite of him. "I never would have imagined."
Suna's eyes widen a little—a crack in the usual expression he always wears when he sees you walking over to him. It's gone as soon as it came though, composing himself quickly and relaxing back on his seat. He grabs his cup to drink—eyes looking at you from over the rim as if asking you to continue on with whatever you were saying.
"You like her, don't you?"
You didn't know what he expected you to say but you're guessing it wasn't that when he chokes on his iced coffee, voice rising up a little at your question before casting a glare, "What?"
Resting your chin on your palms perched on the table, you slightly tilt your head, rolling your eyes at his refusal to admit the obvious, "You want Omi's girlfriend!"
He stares at you with little to no emotion, setting his cup down, "And just where is this going?"
"Simple. You want Omi's girl, I want him. How about we work together and get what we both want?"
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🏷 : @nozomiasl @lilith412426 @coconois @effmigentlywithachainsaw @savantsoulfinder @hortensiyas @my-reality-is-in-my-head @shawkneecaps @satorinnie @fail-big @slxttygoddess @cuddlesslut @stffychn @sugusshi @rintarovibes @jiminslajibolala @rinsangel @atzuums @omi-kunslysol @sunarinsbubs @iwaprotector @exologys @g0thbunnyy @oikawa-bubs @starylust @call-me-lulu @ouraniaastraea @milkteeboba @criesinpisces @tendo-sxtori @plusultra2dwhore @babyworld (if i cant tag u please change ur settings! <3)
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promptfairy · 2 months ago
❥     𝟖𝟎𝐬 𝐇𝐈𝐓𝐒    [   𝚂𝙴𝙽𝚃𝙴𝙽𝙲𝙴 𝚂𝚃𝙰𝚁𝚃𝙴𝚁𝚂    ]   .
sentence starters inspired by various lyrics from random hits from the 1980s !!   some lyrics have been slightly modified to be more usable .  change gendered language   &   add context to your needs .  happy roleplaying !!  ♡
“   something’s  buggin’  me .   ” “   something  ain’t  right .   ” “   my  best  friend  told  me  what  you  did  last  night .   ” “   i  should  have  been  with  you  instead .   ” “   wake  me  up  before  you  go .   ” “   i’m  not  planning  on  going  solo .   ” “   take  me  dancing  tonight .   ” “   you’re  my  lady ,   i’m  your  fool .   ” “   it  makes  me  crazy  when  you  act  so  cruel .   ” “   come on ,  baby .   let’s  not  fight .   ” “   we’ll  go  dancing   &   everything  will  be  alright .   ” “   we’ll  go  dancing  tomorrow  night .   ” “   it’s  cold  out  there ,   but  it’s  warm  in  bed .   ” “   don’t  look  at  it  like  it’s  forever .   ” “   i  guess  that’s  why  they  call  it  the  blues .   ” “   time  on  my  hands  could  be  time  spent  with  you .   ” “   picture  my  face  in  your  hands .   ” “   live  for  each  second  without  hesitation .   ” “   never  forget  i’m  your  man .   ” “   cry  in  the  night  if  it  helps .   ” “   i  simply  love  you  more  than  i  love  life  itself .   ” “   some  boys  kiss  me ,   some  boys  hug  me ,   i  think  they’re  okay .   ” “   the  boy  with  the  cold  hard  cash  is  always  mister  right .   ” “   you  know  that  we  are  living  in  a  material  world .   ” “   i  am  a  material  girl .   ” “   boys  may  come   &   boys  may  go .   ” “   experience  has  made  me  rich   &   now  they’re  after  me .   ” “   opposites  attract .   ” “   you  must  try  to  ignore  that  it  means  more  than  that .   ” “   what’s  love  got  to  do  with  it ??   ” “   who  needs  a  heart  when  a  heart  can  be  broken ??   ” “   it  scares  me  to  feel  this  way .   ” “   there’s  still  enough  time  to  figure  out  how  to  chase  my  blues  away .   ” “   i’ve  done  alright  up  ‘til  now .   ” “   i  wanna  dance  with  somebody  who  loves  me .   ” “   i’ve  been  in  love   &   lost  my  senses .   ” “   sooner  or  later ,   the  fever  ends ,   and  i  wind  up  feeling  down .   ” “   when  the  night  falls ,   my  lonely  heart  calls .   ” “   don’t  you  wanna  dance ??   ” “   i’m  sick   &   tired  of  everything .   ” “   all  i  do  is  eat   &   sleep   &   sing .   ” “   there  are  moments  when  i  think  i’m  going  crazy .   ” “   the  sight  of  you  will  prove  to  me  i’m  still  alive .   ” “   some  boys  take  a  beautiful  girl   &   hide  her  away  from  the  rest  of  the  world .   ” “   i  wanna  be  the  one  to  walk  in  the  sun .   ” “   you  could  never  know  what  it’s  like .   ” “   there’s  a cold   &   lonely  light  that  shines  from  you .   ” “   you’ll  wind  up  like  the  wreck  you  hide  behind  that  mask  you  use .   ” “   did  you  think  this  fool  could  never  win ??   ” “   i’m  still  standing  after  all  this  time .   ” “   i’m  picking  up  the  pieces  of  my  life  without  you  on  my  mind .   ” “   i’m  still  standing .   ” “   if  our  love  was  just  a  circus ,  you’d  be  a  clown  by  now .   ” “   heaven  is  a  place  on  earth .   ” “   they  say  in  heaven ,   love  comes  first .   ” “   we’ll  make  heaven  a  place  on  earth .   ” “   in  this  world ,   we’re  just  beginning  to  understand  the  miracle  of  living .   ” “   i  was  afraid  before ,   but  i’m  not  afraid  anymore .   ” “   when  you  dance ,  there’s  a  magic  that  must  be  love .   ” “   i’ll  be  coming  for  your  love ,   okay ??   ” “   i’ll  be  gone  in  a  day  or  two .   ” “   i’m  slowly  learning  that  life  is  okay  ??   ” “   it’s  no  better  to  be  safe  than  sorry .   ” “   you’re  all  the  things  i’ve  got  to  remember .   ” “   you’re  shying  away .   ” “   i’ll  be  coming  for  you ,   anyway .   ” “   sweet  dreams  are  made  of  this .   ” “   who  am  i  to  disagree  ??   ” “   everybody’s  looking  for  something .   ” “   keep  your  head  up .   ” “   it’s  gonna  take  a  lot  to  drag  me  away  from  you .   ” “   there’s  nothing  that  a  hundred  men  or  more  could  ever  do .   ” “   i  seek  to  cure  what’s  deep  inside .   ” “   i’m  frightened  of  this  thing  that  i’ve  become .   ” “   some  are  born  to  sing  the  blues .   ” “   sometimes  i  feel  i’ve  got  to  run away .   ” “   the  love  we  share  seems  to  go  nowhere .   ” “   once  i  ran  to  you .   now ,   i’ll  run  from  you .   ” “   you  need  someone  to  hold  you  tight .   ” “   don’t  touch  me ,   please .   ” “   i  love  you ,   though  you  hurt  me  so .   ” “   i  just  want  to  tell  you  how  i’m  feeling .   ” “   we’ve  known  each  other  for  so  long .   ” “   your  heart’s  been  aching ,   but  you’re  too  shy  to  say it .   ” “   you’re  turning  heads .   ” “   anything  you  wear  looks  good  on  you  especially .   ” “   there’s  nothing  i  can  tell  you  that  you  haven’t  already  heard  a  half  a million times ,   but  still ,   i’d  like  to  say  you  wear  it  well .  ” “   they  can’t  compete  with  you .   ” “   you’re  more  than  just  a  pretty  face .   ” “   you’ve  got  exactly  what  it  takes .   ” “   can  you  feel  it ,   too ??   ” “   i  toss   &   turn  in  my  bed  in  the  morning  when  i  think  about  you .   ” “   i  attempt  to  look  my  best  for  you .   ” “   you  sure  are  sweet .   ” “   would  you  mind  if  i  had  a  little  bit  more  of  your  time ??  ” “   just  keep  doing  what  you  do .   ”
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coccinelle-et-chaton · a month ago
i'm still not recovered from last night. not physically. not emotionally.
i'm just—
that episode. it?? literally wrecked me?
no wait and when you think about the implications. just look at the way it's been piling up from his pov:
first there's a few missions where she doesn't need him. ok fine it happens.
then there's one where not only does she not need him, but rena rouge seems to be calling the shots? and rena's call is that he's benched.
then he finds out: somebody else knows her identity and this means one day ladybug could just decide to stop being ladybug and since he doesn't know her identity, he'd lose her. she reassures him that won't ever happen.
then he finds out that Ladybug has let a couple know their identities and that apparently more than one person in the team finds him unbearable? one of them being ladybug?
take a second to think how that looks to chat 🙃
THEN. wishmaker arrives and by then he's already warming up to the idea that maybe ladybug will really stop needing him soon. maybe this whole superhero gig is much more temporary than he thought. so that makes him confront himself
if i don't have ladybug, who do i have? if i'm not going to be chat noir in the future, if i don't want to be what my father wants me to be, then who am i?
of freaking course that by the time wishmaker arrives he doesn't joke anymore. he doesn't care about revealing his identity.
and the best part is that you can almost touch the increasing miscommunication. one of the things that was made completely clear in this episode is that ladybug really DOES all in her power to take care of chat and keep him happy.
i mean please the advice she was giving alya? "laugh at his jokes even if they're not funny because that makes him happy"? that was so adorable. then the way she acknowledges if she was in chat's place she would be upset and that he has all the right to be mad at her? the way she takes a moment to ask if everything is okay in rocketear? the fact she's joking around with him and reassures him in wishmaker?
ladybug DOES care about him. but ladybug also knows how to express her emotions.
chat is insecure of speaking out not only because of his upbringing, but also because following his usual logic, from where he stands, all it takes is for ladybug to get mad at him for her to bench him for good. and why would he bring up something that could make her mad?
from where he stands, ladybug's actions don't match her words. she says she loves his humor then finds out through a gossip mill he doesn't think of double-checking, that she doesn't. she says they're the cat and bug team, then she replaces herself with a temp (again this is from chat's pov since he doesn't know the context). she says they trust each other despite the secrets they have, but the secrets she keeps look more like secrets because she doesn't trust him than because they're necessary to keep. she says she'll never abandon him. and yet, from his pov that's what she's doing.
the most deliciously ironic part of it all is that if he actually just were to be completely honest and ask, his assumptions wouldn't hold. things would be cleared out. but this is now a catch-22. they have pre-established not to poke around to protect their identities and to trust each other despite the secrets, so chat won't ask even though ladybug has repeatedly checked in with him. but again, from his pov, so long as he doesn't actually talk, he won't get any incentive to do so.
the more we get nearer to the finale the more i'm convinced there will be no winners in the ladynoir conflict (which by now it's less of a conflict and more of a miscommunication when you think about it because, even though chat is increasingly disappointed, he understands why ladybug does some of these things). when chat reaches his last straw ladybug is going to be taken completely by surprise, which in turn might compel her to break down aas well as she attempts to explain herself because we know ladybug really doesn't see herself being ladybug without him.
it's just. we're all just clowns. a bunch of loser clowns in this match of emotional chess crying in the corner.
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thenatashamaximoff · 6 months ago
Mine To Love
Summary: Every other year, you’re required to train the new SHIELD agents, but will your relationship with Natasha survive the ups and downs when a certain new recruit becomes enthralled by you?
Pairing: Natasha x Reader
Warnings: blood, cheating, torture, drugs, obsession, stalking, sexual assault
Words: 26,106
♞This is a dark fic as confirmed by multiple readers. Please read at your own risk! ♞
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The first time she laid eyes on you, she had thought she was still asleep. The beauty, the perfection that caught her attention was only able to be manifested in a dream, but here she was, staring at the impossible goddess as she continued to pinch herself in an attempt to wake up. She was instantly drawn to you, ignoring whoever was talking to her to marvel at you. The way your ears perked up when you smiled, how your eyes sparkled when you spoke, your tongue flicking out to lick your lips when you listened. She was on the other side of the room, but your laughter reached her ears and it was the only noise she heard in the busy lobby.
You placed a hand on Clint's elbow, bidding him a farewell before walking away. Jealousy instantly fell upon her as you left the room, eyebrows pinched together in anger as she watched Clint turn and approach the small group, ordering for attention.
"Welcome to SHIELD, agents," he called out, a smile plastered on his face. The room instantly quieted down, all eyes on Clint Barton as he greeted the new agents. She was amongst the group, a fresh face in the middle of even more fresh faces. She couldn't get her mind off of you, already knowing she wanted you. "This is officially your first day in changing the world. Does anybody have any questions before we begin?"
Her hand was in the air faster than the rest of the recruits, Clint's eyes landing on her immediately. He glanced down at the clipboard in his hands briefly before looking back up at her with a grin.
"Agent Hopkins, what's your question?"
"Who was that you were talking to?" She knew the other agents must have better questions than her, but she couldn't find it within herself to really care. That was the most important question to her: your name. She wanted to feel it come off of her lips, form on her tongue. She needed to know your name urgently.
Confusion crossed Clint's features, clearly not expecting that to be the first question. But he quickly regained himself, his small smile returning. "That was Y/N," he answered. "Some of you will be training under her. She is one of the best agents we have, so you'll all learn a lot from her. Any other questions?"
Her hand remained down this time.
Y/N. The way it felt so natural to think, even more natural than breathing, just made every concern and fear she had from her first day disappear. Her imagination can't even begin to fathom how your touch feels, how your voice sounds. She needed to hear you, only your laugh was replaying in her head. And as that was enough for now, it wouldn't be enough forever.
Clint's words blurred into the background as she let her mind wander, thinking about you, how her first meeting with you would go, how she could be a reason why you smile or, if she's lucky enough, laugh.
"There's six of you," Clint announced, dragging her attention back to his speech. She cleared her throat when she realized that she had been blushing, her face hot with red. "You're going to be put into groups of two and you're going to shadow an agent." He read off the list and she felt her heart drop when her name was attached to a Romanoff and not yours.
But it's okay. Once she's done with training, she'll have you wrapped around her finger.
You were too busy looking down at your phone to see where you were going, rounding a corner rather sharply. You ended up running into somebody, your phone falling out of your hands at the sudden impact and you immediately looked up. You made eye contact with a doe-eyed woman, her eyes wide in shocked surprise as a small smile settled on your face. Her black hair extended past her shoulders, light and bouncy.
You don't know how many times she had apologized, bending down to pick your phone up for you, but you knew it was at least a thousand.
"Hey, it's okay," you assured. "Accidents happen. Besides, I'm pretty sure it was mostly my fault anyway." You accepted your phone from her and shoved it into your pocket, her face still frozen in shock. "You're new, aren't you? What's your name?"
"Agent Maria Hopkins." She moved her hand up to her forehead, her body straightening as she offered you a rigid salute and you laughed. There was that sound again, the laughter she had been playing inside her head all day. And now your voice was in her head, even better than she had imagined. She wanted to keep you talking.
"You don't have to do that," you told her. "Who's your trainer?" You crossed your arms over your chest and leaned your shoulder against the wall, getting into a more casual position. She enjoyed seeing you act casual, knowing you didn't need to be wary of her. Relaxed, trusting, everything she needs you to be.
"Agent Romanoff," she answered, your smile widening. She mirrored your smile, wondering what kind of inside joke you were thinking about and if she was ever going to be in on it.
"Good luck," you told her. "Nat's a bit of a hardass. And you could tell her I said that." You laughed as you pushed yourself away from the wall, holding your hand out to her. "It was nice to meet you, Maria."
The way your mouth formed around her name had her heart beating hard against her chest. She immediately got nervous, thinking you could hear her heart pick up speed, that it was that loud. And when she accepted your hand, your touch was warm and surprisingly soft. She didn't want to let go, the most amazing thing she ever felt was you. But she felt herself getting greedy, already wanting to touch more of you. Wanting to break the barrier between you and her - your clothes. When your firm grip loosened, she had to let go. She didn't want to scare you away.
"It was nice to meet you, too, Agent-"
You laughed, waving off her sentence. "Please, don't start the formalities with me. Just Y/N is fine."
"Y/N." It was the first time she said it out loud since she learned it this morning, and she loved the way it sounded coming off of her mouth. She felt herself melt as you sent her one last smile, your eyes twinkling with the stars of the night, before walking around her, bringing out your phone once more as you ventured away from her.
She watched you walk away until you disappeared around another corner.
"Watch it." You looked up, startled, as you stopped in your tracks. Natasha laughed at your expression, uncrossing her arms from over her chest as you tuck your phone away.
"You know, I was just telling a new agent about you," you said as she wrapped her arms around your neck, her hands hanging limply behind you. She hummed thoughtfully, a grin forming on your face. "Yeah, I told her that you're a huge pushover and that you should never, ever be taken seriously."
An eyebrow quirked up, a look of a challenge resting on her face. Here we go. Every other year, when the new recruits come in, always shadowing you, Natasha, and Clint, the wager is always the same. By the end of the training, you'll have each of your agents pitted against each other in a sparring match, the loser has to pay for the fanciest, most expensive dinner on the market. The rules remained the same, you can do whatever you want to the trainees, but you can't let them find out about the bet. There isn't allowed to be any influence in the finals. You've been on a losing streak, but this time you weren't going to lose. You have faith in your recruits this year.
Natasha pulled you against her, her arms still resting on your shoulders as your nose brushed against hers. "Let's spice it up this year," she offered and you pulled your face away from hers so you could look into her eyes. This time, your eyebrow raised. 
"Last time you said that I ended up having to clean our bathroom for a month."
"And you did such a good job," she whispered, leaning forward to brush her lips against yours. You couldn't help but laugh, bubbles rising in your chest at her closeness. Her smile grew wider as you placed your hands on her hips, pulling her flush against you. She knows what she's doing to you.
"What is it this time? A month of laundry? Am I going to have to be your personal chef?"
"Oh, so you're welcoming a loss?" Natasha laughed when you wrapped your arms around her waist, squeezing her against you. Your cheeks burned hot under her stare, your heart beating for her touch, and the only thing you could think of was how soft her lips looked. This woman.
You couldn't help but lick your lips after sneaking a glance at hers. That motion didn't go unnoticed, Natasha raising her eyebrows in a challenging manner and a smirk resting on the lips you just needed to touch. She wants you to kiss her as much as you do, but that would mean letting her win. You didn't want to lose. "No, I didn't-"
"It seems like you are," she interrupted, smiling widely when you rolled your eyes. "It's okay, Y/N. I know I always win every time."
She was right about that. When it came down to it, it was always between you and Clint for second place. You don't know how she always manages to win, but you didn't care as long as you didn't come in third. If she was going to add another little challenge between the two of you, though, then you have to come in first this time. Or at least get her to be third place.
"I was thinking," she continued, "that we take a little vacation this year."
A vacation? The two of you hadn't taken a vacation in forever, even separately. You’ve been dating her for almost four years (friends for longer) and you haven't even vacationed together. And, boy, did you two need one. All that vacation time you have gathered has just been sitting there, growing, while you ignored it. Maybe it'll do some good to take a breather from everything.
You couldn't help but laugh. "You think that you're going to survive a vacation? You?" You knew Natasha was a sucker for the action. She wouldn't be able to sit still during a vacation, let alone be able to stay away from work.
She left you cold when she pushed away from you, a small, subtle smile resting on her lips. "I can definitely last longer than you, Y/N."
You weren't even going to argue with her on that one. As much as Natasha loves the work, you love it even more and there's no denying that. "What's the bet, Nat?" She laughed again as you pulled her back to you, her fingers resting delicately along either side of your jaw. You leaned into her touch, resting your forehead against hers as your eyes fluttered close at the feeling of her pressed against you, waiting for her to speak.
"Winner gets to choose the location," she said.
You pulled away from her to look her in the eye once more, skeptical. You could see that glint she's got going on. She already planned this out. You wouldn't be surprised if you looked at her phone to see a whole itinerary for the trip. What game is she playing right now?
"You already chose one, didn't you?" You laughed when she shrugged innocently, maintaining eye contact. "You're so cocky, you know that?"
She nodded as she dipped her head, her lips locking onto yours, but the kiss didn't last long before you heard someone clear their throat.
"Enough PDA." You broke away from Natasha to see Clint, taking a step back with your hands raised in surrender.
"I'm sorry, officer, but she made me do it," you announced. "I'm a victim here."
"And I'll do it again!" Natasha grabbed your shirt and pulled you into her, connecting your lips once more, the kiss deeper, more passionate than the last. Your cheeks ignited, hot red coloring them as you felt her push against you, desperate to get you as close to her as possible. You definitely would've dropped to your knees if she weren't holding onto your collar. It was interrupted when you started laughing, looking over at Clint to see him roll his eyes. A small part of you wanted to take Natasha out of the public eye, behind a closed door, but the bigger part told you that you had some agents to meet and you didn't want to be late. Responsibilities. You stepped away from Natasha once more but held onto her hand. You wanted to keep that physical contact for as long as you could.
"So, I showed the recruits their rooms and left them to their own devices," Clint said, crossing his arms over his chest. The one advantage Clint has in this competition is the fact that he meets them before you and Natasha. And you're pretty sure he changes the assignments, making sure he gets the best ones. But, if he does, then he doesn't do a very good job at it considering Natasha always takes the crown at the end of everything. "Hey, Y/N, if you manage to keep both of your recruits this year, I'll give you five dollars."
"You're going to eat your words, Barton," you commented. You've lost at least one of your trainees the past few years, but you've been managing with just one perfectly fine… 
"You've lost last time," Clint pointed out. "And the time before that. And the time before that." …alright, maybe not. Can he read your mind right now?
"I'm trying something with morale this time," you stated. Maybe you're too harsh on the recruits. You can't see it, though, considering you've seen Natasha train and she's a bit more aggressive than you. "I'm taking my recruits out to lunch."
"Is that why you put down my offer for-"
"No, it's why I postponed it to tonight," you interrupted quickly, looking at Clint with wide eyes. Hopefully, he doesn't put two and two together. "I have a date with not one, but two people."
She rolled her eyes, but the smile on her face told you she was only joking as she said, "I'll remember this tonight."
"What's tonight?" Oh, Clint Barton, you innocent man. So clueless. His fear of missing out on things was going to be his downfall. Yet, you couldn't blame him. A lot of fun things happen around here.
You and Natasha smiled widely at him.
"I want in," he stated, looking between the two of you. The smiles on both of your faces weren't helping his case. "Come on, guys. I've been preparing for this stupid training thing for weeks. I haven't been out in so long."
"I'd love to stay and chat, but I have some recruits to meet," you expressed, slapping Clint's shoulder as you released Natasha's hand. You looked at her. "I'll leave this to you."
You walked away with a grin, letting Natasha fill Clint's mind with the things you were going to do to each other tonight. Though, you know she's not going to get too far into it before he realizes.
When she walked out of the training room, she bumped into you once again. She was caught in a daze when you laughed, grabbing onto her shoulders instinctively to make sure she didn't fall over. When you released her, she yearned for more of your touch, but the smile on your face sedated her, calmed her. It prevented her from doing anything too rash as you were only standing less than a foot in front of her. So close, she could feel the heat radiating off of your body. Her instinct was to get closer, to push her body flush against yours, but she refrained from doing that. Instead, she blurted out a simple apology. She doesn't even know how she managed to get her mouth to form coherent words, but she did.
"It's fine, Maria," you assured her, a smile still plastered on your face. She doesn't think she ever wants to see anything but the smile, to see how happy you were was the best thing for her. "We should stop meeting like this, though." Bumping into you is the best way to meet. It gives her a good excuse for physical contact, even briefly.
"At least you didn't have your phone out this time," she commented and you laughed once more. Oh, the things your laugh did to her body. She needed to find a way to record it so she could play it on loop. For now, she's just gonna have to go by memory. "How was your training?"
"Oh." You didn't expect her, a recruit, to question the other trainees' session. It was the last thing on a recruit's mind, wondering how the others were doing when they're too busy trying not to mess up themselves. "It was fine. How was Romanoff?"
Maria blew a raspberry, your smile growing. "You weren't wrong about her being a hardass," she said. "Thanks for the warning."
"Hey, I'm just trying to keep people around," you said, casually shrugging. "I figured it's better to expect what you're stepping into. Nat was the one to train me when I first started, too, so at least I know you're in good hands."
She opened her mouth to say something, but cut herself off when she heard the training room door open behind her. She stepped to the side, opening up the rest of the doorway so whoever wanted out could leave. Maria watched as your face lit up, your eyes sparkled and the smile on your face grew even wider. She wanted you to look at her like that, like she was the only thing in the world that mattered. And she felt her stomach twist with jealous rage when Natasha stepped out of the room and brought you into a hug. When the hug ended and she peeled herself away from you, though your hand remained on her waist as she looked at Maria.
"Hey, that was great work today, Hopkins," Natasha commented. Maria plastered a smile on her face, but it wasn't as genuine as it was thirty seconds ago. "You're pretty advanced. I might have to start training you separately."
Maria felt her chest puff out at the compliment, eyeing you to see your expression, but you were no longer concerned about Maria. Your attention was all focused on Natasha, your eyes not once leaving her face. As if you were scared that you'd go blind at any moment, memorizing every single inch of skin on the redhead's face, savoring it. Maria lost her confidence, simmering down into nothing as Natasha looked at you. "Thank you, Agent Romanoff," Maria said, earning her attention, but not yours. She cleared her throat as she added, "It was nice speaking to you again, Y/N."
The sound of your name finally pulled your attention away from Natasha, your eyes finding Maria's within mere seconds. "As you." That's it? Just two simple little words? She found herself hating Natasha even more when you looked back at her, no longer giving a care about Maria anymore.
She watched, her fists clenched tightly by her sides, as you walked away, catching Natasha's hand into yours and keeping her close as you left Maria behind. She felt her jaw lock, her teeth grinding together tightly at the anger she was feeling as she watched you plant a quick kiss on Natasha's cheek, your amazing laugh mixed in with her harsh one.
She would have never thought that you and Natasha Romanoff were a thing. This would make it harder to obtain you, but not impossible. 
"You know, I don't understand if I'm being honest with you." Maria was immediately attracted to your voice, following it around the corner to see you sitting on the couch in the common room, Natasha's head rested in your lap as you absentmindedly stroked a hand through her short, red hair. Maria lingered around the corner, listening, watching in the shadows. "Fisher, one of my recruits, dropped out. It's only day three, Nat. Now I'm not going to get five dollars."
Natasha rolled over to lay on her back, looking up at you, her hand delicately tracing over your jaw to make you look down at her. The frustration on your face quickly evaporated when you made eye contact with the redhead, easing your tense shoulders just by her breathing in your direction and Maria aspired to have that effect on you someday. "Not a lot of people can handle this life, Y/N," Natasha said, her voice soft. Your hand got lost in her hair, the curls tangled around your fingers as you melted into Natasha's eyes. "They think they can handle it, but in the end, they realize they can't."
"Easy for you to say. You've never lost a recruit."
Natasha's lips quirked up into a smile as she said, "You would've been my first loss if you had gone through with it."
You remember that day, the day that seems like forever ago. During a shooting drill, you kept accidentally shooting the wooden boards that were supposed to be the victims, ultimately failing the drill on more than one occasion. Natasha must've felt the moment you decided to give up because she went to your room that night, ordering your roommate to leave so she could talk to you alone. She ignored your packed bag and sat on your bed, giving you a secret pep talk amidst a casual conversation. That was the day you realized you had feelings for your trainer, but you were too much of a coward to act on them until years later.
"Did you know that that was the moment I knew I loved you?" You smiled, your free hand placing itself against her chest, her heartbeat hammering against your palm as you leaned down closer to her face.
"What took you so long?" she whispered, your laugh fanning your breath over her face. "I knew the moment I laid eyes on you."
"You're such a liar," you declared before your lips pushed gently into hers.
Maria has seen enough, stepping out into the light and making her presence known by clearing her throat rather harshly as she approached you. Your back straightened when you saw Maria, Natasha turning her head to watch the new agent pause a few feet in front of the couch you were sitting on, her hands folding behind her back out of respect. "Agent Romanoff, I was wondering if I could take you up on the private training," she stated. "I've come to realize that the limited training I receive alongside Agent Griggs is not reaching my full potential." To her, she sounded robotic. She couldn't find it in herself to put any emotion into her words when all she was feeling was anger. Angry that you don't realize you love her yet, but you will.
She couldn't help but watch the smile grow on your face as Natasha sat up, your hand becoming free of the red tangles. She eyed Natasha's curls, not being able to imagine your hand running through her black ones. She'll have to change that.
"It looks like your cockiness is rubbing off already," you commented, leaning back into the couch with a laugh when Natasha playfully smacked your shoulder with the back of her hand. Despite the anger she was experiencing, Maria mirrored your smile, she couldn't help it. The happiness that radiated off of you affected her. "Hey, Maria, if you need any real advice from a professional, come see me."
"I might just take you up on that offer, too, Y/N." She could say your name all day, looking for any excuse to say it out loud in front of Natasha, hoping to make her as jealous as she feels, but when she glanced towards the Black Widow, her expression was only reacting to your words and not hers. "I will take all the training I can get." And all the alone time she could with you.
"Don't go stealing my recruits because you can't keep a leash on yours." Natasha laughed as your eyes widened, looking towards her as she immediately cupped your face. Maria watched with envy as she planted a kiss on your cheek, apologetic.
"Go away," you stated with a smile, waving Natasha off of you. She was still laughing as she stood up, smiling widely as she gestured for Maria to follow her when she started walking. But Maria stared at you for a moment, frozen in your beauty once again as you looked at her, an eyebrow raised in confusion at her hesitance in following Natasha. You released a breath as you said, "You'll be fine, Maria. Once you get past that hard shell, Nat is secretly a big softie."
Maria blinked, falling out of the trap that was you when you said Natasha's name. She only wanted her name coming off of your lips, nobody else's. "Of course," was the only thing she could say before nodding politely and walking away, joining a waiting Natasha to start the private training.
Maria couldn't help but wonder what Natasha had that she didn't. They were practically the same height at a glance, Natasha being just an inch taller than her, and Maria knows that she could treat you better. She would give you every single second of her attention, her hands wouldn't dare touch anybody else, even if it was just as simple as a handshake. She would be strictly yours to love, nobody would even think about it being any other way. But the obstacle that is one Natasha Romanoff was going to have to move, just an inch, just enough for Maria to slide right on through. You weren't going to look at her if Natasha was in the way.
"Excuse me, Agent-" You looked towards the voice with a raised eyebrow, seeing your last recruit, John Nolan, walking up to you slowly. His words caught in his throat as he cleared them away, shaking his head. "Apologies. Y/N," he corrected.
You stood up off the couch. "What can I do for you, John?"  He seemed nervous, his hands crossed behind his back in a tight, respectable stance and he avoided eye contact. You were pretty sure you saw droplets of sweat drip down his temple as he cleared his throat once more, sucking in a deep breath and finally maintaining eye contact for more than five seconds.
"Agent Barton offered Fisher a better position in another state," he told you, looking away when he saw your eyes narrow. "That's why he left. I… thought you should know."
The last piece of the puzzle finally clicked into place, the gears in your head spinning at an impossible speed as you put two and two together. It wasn't your fault you couldn't keep a recruit under your belt. It was Clint! He doesn't have the authority to give them a better job than a level six agent. Offering them something that seems better on paper, but in reality, could quite possibly the worst job SHIELD has to offer. Why, that little-
"Did he offer you something?" 
He shook his head, seeming to be a little bit more relaxed when he heard that your voice came out evenly calm, not a trace of anger in your words. "No, ma'am. I overheard him and Fisher. I don't think I was supposed to-"
"It's a good thing you did," you interrupted. "Clint probably made it sound better than it is, so you're not missing out on anything exciting." He relaxed a lot more on that, letting you know that he was jealous he wasn't the one to get the offer. 
"What are you going to do?" His proper posture evaporated, his hands resting on his hips once he saw that you weren't mad at the messenger. "You're not going to tell him I told you, right?"
"Of course not," you assured. Though you really wanted to call Clint out on it, hunting him down so you could get him an instant loss and you would only have to worry about Natasha, there's a much bigger part of you that wants revenge. "Thanks for the heads up, John. You don't have to worry about Clint, I can handle him. If he goes to you with a similar offer, let me know."
John nodded and left. You knew Clint wasn't going to offer John the same job, he wasn't going to take both of your recruits. He wanted some competition, but not the tough one. You should take this as a compliment, he sees you as just enough of a threat to shoot one of your legs. But now you gotta return the favor and figure out something to do to him.
You wandered out of the common room, lost in your thoughts. You couldn't tell the recruits about the bet, that was the only rule in this thing. You had to figure out a different route, something that doesn't lead to you when it's over with.  
You heard your name being called, turning around to see Clint jogging to catch up to you, a wide smile on his face. Your jaw clenched, eyes narrowed, but you plastered a smile mirroring that of his own. You had to bite your tongue to prevent yourself from calling him out on his little evil antic.
"I heard you lost another one," he said. You wanted to smack that shit-eating grin off his face. "He didn't last as long as the others. Such a shame. At least I get to keep my five dollars."
"You know what? It's not even worth five dollars," you said. "You're going to be spending a lot more than that when I beat you in this thing."
He snorted, crossing his arms over his chest. "With just one recruit? I'd love to see that."
"Well, consider yourself with front row seats, Barton, because you're going down." Your arms crossed over your chest tightly. "I'm thinking the big steak. That thing costs an arm and a leg."
He patted you on the shoulder, smiling even wider. "Good luck, Y/N." He gave you a small, mock salute before walking away, his shoulders shaking with laughter. You groaned in frustration.
It was impossible to win with just one recruit. He has to fight four people to get the points you need to come in second, at least.
You had plenty of time to figure out a way to get revenge. Training is three months long, and it's only the third day. You knew John was going to be safe, so you weren't worried about it. But Fisher was a stronger agent than John and that's going to take you down a peg. Ugh, Clint, you cheating bastard.
You wonder why he doesn't go after Natasha's recruits. She's a much bigger threat than you are. Both competitively and physically. As long as he didn't come in third, it makes sense why he only sabotaged you. If he went after Natasha and she found out, Hell would be his safe space when she's through with him.
You found yourself outside the training room almost an hour later, walking in to catch Natasha taking Maria down with ease. A smile landed on your lips and everything about Clint left your mind as you watched the two spar, your posture relaxing. Maria caught a glimpse of you in that moment, her measly struggles to get out from underneath Natasha grew stronger in the desire to impress you. Natasha was saying something under her breath to her, giving her tips and advice to get out of a situation like that. Her grip loosened on Maria, giving her an easier chance to break free, and you saw the way Natasha's muscles relaxed. She was going easier on her and Maria didn't like that.
She flipped Natasha off of her, tossing her to the side in one swift movement. She sucked in a deep breath, relieved that all she wasn't breathing was Natasha anymore. You appeared above her, offering your hand to help her to her feet, which she immediately took.
"Your little private session is going well, I see," you stated, patting Maria on the back as she released your hand. She immediately relaxed under your touch, the tenseness in her muscles from having to protect herself against Natasha evaporated. She was at ease.
"I don't see her training lasting three months," Natasha said as she joined you, her hands on her hips as you crossed your arms over your chest. "She might graduate sooner if she keeps this up."
"I'm a fast learner," Maria said, shrugging casually.
Natasha smiled as she looked at you, her eyes soft, her smile genuine, her body relaxed, the same way Maria looked at you. Except you didn't notice it when Maria did it, only Natasha. And that's what made her mad.
"How about I take her for a spin?" The way your eyebrow quirked upwards would have made Maria fall to her knees and beg Natasha to say yes, but the thought of getting tangled with you on the mat made her stressed. She wanted to prove herself, show you that she can handle anything and make you proud, but she didn't want to hurt you. She didn't want to make you feel less superior. She would beg Natasha to say no.
"I don't think-"
"Ah, c'mon, Nat," you stated, playfully shadow boxing her. "I could do with some stress relief." You stepped closer to her, Maria crossing her arms across her chest as she watched the two of you closely, jealousy spreading through her as you lowered your voice to a whisper, seeing Natasha's skin prickle with goosebumps as your breath fanned over her neck. "Between you and me, John's not a very good sparring partner."
When your hand rested around her waist and pulled her closer to you, Maria had to look away, her eyes cast downward to the floor as Natasha planted a kiss on your lips. "Fine," she expressed. "For training purposes."
"Let's go, Hopkins." You clapped your hands as Natasha stepped back, giving the two of you some space.
She preferred hearing her first name come out of your mouth, but Hopkins had the same effect on her.
You squatted down to a defensive stance, the smirk playing on your lips left Maria in a daze. She blinked a few times before she managed to pull herself out of it, getting down in her own stance as she faced off against you. She didn't know if she could handle it, touching you would be too much for her, but the playful sparkle in your eye made her want to have this kind of fun with you. She knew she had to get used to this kind of playfulness. Your ability to laugh at the smallest of things is one of the many, many reasons why she loves you.
When you stepped towards her, she found herself stepping back. Was she really that scared of hurting you? This wasn't a life or death situation, she wouldn't hurt you on purpose. But it was the idea of it being an accident that distraught her. Her capability of hurting you was there and that scared her.
She tried desperately to block you, swatting your light punches away. You were going easy on her, she could tell. She hasn't seen you fight before, but Clint had said that you were one of the best and this was not something someone would do if they were among the top of the totem pole.
"Come on, Y/N," Maria declared after blocking yet another miserable attempt to kick her, drawing your foot back to the ground to maintain balance. Even though you weren't pushing her limits, she still had sweat dripping down her temple. She instinctively wiped it away. "I thought you were the best."
"I wouldn't say the best," Natasha countered. Maria had to fight herself from rolling her eyes. She had forgotten Natasha's presence, her input forcing her to remember that it wasn't just the two of you. "Maybe top, like… five? And that's being generous."
Your posture relaxed, getting out of the fighting stance you held for the past five minutes to look at Natasha, your hands resting on your hips as a smile brightened your face. You looked back at Maria. "Alright, I'll take it up a notch."
"A notch?" Maria wanted to see exactly what you were capable of. "How do you expect me to learn anything? I don't suppose the enemies in the field would take it easy on me."
You sighed, grinning. "Fair enough," you said, holding your hands out in surrender. "Just remember that you consented to this."
Maria nodded encouragingly, knowing that she'd consent to anything that has to do with you. The two of you fell back into a crouched stance, a bit closer than you were originally. And, boy, was Clint telling the truth! She barely had time to react to your punches, your kicks being strategically thrown in there to throw her off guard and it worked. When you made contact with your punches, they didn't hurt. They were light and fast, expertly so.
When Maria finally did manage to get a punch in, you easily and embarrassingly caught her wrist, tugging her close to you. She was flush against your chest, her back against you as you held her in a chokehold, and she completely lost her thoughts at the feeling of being pressed against you. She stopped fighting back, letting your warmth spread through her, but it only lasted a second before the two of you were on the ground. She was left breathless when she finally got herself to focus, seeing your face inches away from her own, both of you breathing heavily at the extended workout as you sent her a cheeky grin. You had her pinned in a much more difficult position than Natasha had her earlier, her arms trapped underneath your body as your hand squeezed her two wrists together, your other arm tight against her neck. That's why she's breathless.
You released her a few seconds later, hopping back to your feet and Maria had to take a moment to collect herself. You were so close to her. If she had just tilted her chin up a centimeter, your lips would've brushed against hers, but she was too dazed to comprehend that little tidbit of information.
She blinked and your hand was hovering above her, a temporary moment of Deja vu as you pulled her to her feet. You patted her on her shoulder as you released her, Natasha joining the two of you as she waved the imaginary white flag in surrender. 
"I don't know about that early graduation, sweetheart," you said, looking at Maria but talking to Natasha. You crossed your arms over your chest. "She still needs some work."
She knew you were only joking, but she couldn't help but feel disappointed in herself for not being able to impress you. She deflated, her shoulders slouching as she scratched the back of her head, no longer paying attention to your conversation once Natasha decided to put her two senses in there. She was trying to hold on to that feeling of having more than just your hand on her. The pure serotonin, raw adrenaline. She needed that feeling again. Your entire body was against her and she could still feel you.
Your laughter dragged her out of her thoughts, as it always does. She refocused, the conversation no longer on her skills, or lack of. The two of you were talking about dinner, a date, tonight. You seemed to have forgotten about Maria as you and Natasha faced each other, obviously oblivious to the black haired recruit. She could walk away and neither of you would notice, but she didn't. She listened to the details, wanting to know what exactly was going to happen.
She got angry when Natasha stepped closer to you to whisper something in your ear, envy when you leaned into her touch, her lips brushing against your ear and goosebumps trailing down your neck. That's when she walked away.
Otherwise, she would've punched something. Preferably someone.
You couldn't help but watch Natasha as she read over the menu. Her eyebrows slightly pinched together in concentration, trying to decide what she wanted to eat. Her tongue flicking out to lick her lips put you in a momentary state of weakness, and she must have sensed that moment because her eyes looked up at you as a smile grew on her face. She picked her head up, resting her chin in her hand as she leaned forward.
The smallest, most non-sensual things send you overboard and she knows it. She preys on that, sending your thoughts into overdrive as you fought against your pure animal instincts to take her right then and there. She eats that up, and that just pushes you over the edge.
"Why do you do this to me?"
Her chuckle made you straighten your posture, tightly locking your body in your chair otherwise you would've given in to those instincts. She casually shrugged as she went back to her menu, the smile on her face not once wavering. "I want to know what your breaking point is."
Your breaking point wouldn't exist if you didn't have any dignity. She knows that, too. "You're getting there," you assured her, listening to the music that is her laughter. "Trust me."
She placed her menu flat on the table, crossing her hands across it as she met your eye. "Then I will keep doing it."
"And when you win?" You raised an eyebrow, a smile playing on your lips. "If I give in to these dark desires?"
She leaned forward an inch, subtle. You wouldn't have caught it if her elbow didn't bump against her glass of water. "What kind of dark desires?"
You sent her a wink, holding your index finger softly to your lips as the waiter came by for your order. Her eyes flickered, showing that hint of darkness you loved for a brief moment, letting you see just how vulnerable you made her as well.
You had to look away from her otherwise you were going to get yourself in trouble. You watched the waiter walk away with your orders, disappear around a corner and that's when you saw them. Your smile was associated with humor now, looking back at Natasha to nod in their direction.
"Looks like we're not HR's only nightmare anymore," you said, looking back towards Maria and John sitting on the other side of the room. Natasha followed your stare, a smirk resting on her lips.
"I'm actually surprised," she confessed, making you look back at her. Your expression was the only thing she needed to make herself explain, "I thought she was crushing on you."
"You thought Maria was crushing on me?" You couldn't help but laugh at the thought, taking a sip of your drink. "And what makes you possibly think that?"
She rolled her eyes. You could see the strain in her eyes as she thought about it, though the smirk that remained on her lips would fool anybody into thinking she was truly nonchalant about it. "It is painfully obvious, Y/N," she stated. "Do you really not see it?"
You shook your head, pursing your lips together as you counted back all the times you interacted with Maria and nothing jumped out at you. "No," you admitted, "because I'm only thinking about you."
You laughed when she rolled her eyes again, the sound of your laughter immediately pulling Maria's attention over to you.
"So… have you seen any good movies lately?" John cleared his throat, nervous, as he watched Maria watch you. "I've seen a good one. It's…" His sentence died in the air when he saw that she was too focused on you, not giving him the time of day. He cleared his throat again as he brought his glass to his lip, taking a harsh swallow before returning it to the table. "Maria, I-"
"Don't call me that." Her head snapped in his direction. She didn't want anybody to call her by her own name, Hopkins was fine. Maria belonged to you. 
"It's your name," he countered defensively. "Why did you ask me out if you're not going to put all your attention into this date?"
She scoffed, furrowing her eyebrows. "This isn't a date, Nolan." Of course, this wasn't a date. She had only invited John to not look like a sad, lonely person in the middle of a restaurant made for couples. She didn't give him the wrong idea. We should get some food. That's all she said. It was a suggestion and he didn't know what he was getting himself into. 
"This is a pretty fancy restaurant for just getting some food," he stated. "I mean, I'm not even appropriately dressed." She eyed him, noticing him for the first time and he was right. He wasn't dressed nicely, his training shirt and sweats didn't necessarily pass the fancy test, but nobody bothered looking at him. The restaurant wasn't maximum fancy, nobody cared. "I just assumed we were getting Chinese or something. Maybe some hamburgers."
"Well, you assumed wrong." The waiter came over then, taking John's order. Maria made the mistake of looking back at you, not bothering with the waiter anymore and not caring when John ordered something for her. "Don't mistake this for anything," she declared once the waiter left, her eyes remaining on you. "We're not friends." Even acquaintance was a strong word. She didn't even think about John, he was just there. He was the first person she saw that she knew would go get some food under false pretenses. 
He glanced in your direction, catching you feeding Natasha some of your food and laughing at her expression. "I'm pretty sure they have a bet going on."
His words caught her attention, her head slowly turning to look back at him. He made eye contact with her and cleared his throat. "What kind of bet?"
"The three of them," he explained. "Barton, Romanoff, and-"
"Y/N." You didn't like formalities.
John nodded. "Right." He sighed, clearing his throat. It was like he had something caught in it, desperate to try and get it out. "I don't know what it entails. I just know that it has something to do with us."
"How do you know this?"
"I overheard Barton and Romanoff talking about it," he answered, shrugging as he took another gulp of his drink. 
Maria grinned widely, the first smile that landed on her face ever since she arrived at the restaurant. John raised an eyebrow, confused. "This is why we're friends, Nolan."
He shook his head when she turned back to you. "You know, it's never going to happen." He chuckled at the thought of Maria attempting to snatch you away from Natasha. "I heard they've been together for a long time without a hitch." He snorted, a smile growing on his lips. "You're never going to-"
"Shut up," she snapped when she heard your laughter once more, not wanting John's annoying voice to interrupt that beautiful sound. He sighed as he sat back into his chair. She wasn't even listening to his words, but on some level, she heard him and knew he was right. But all good things must come to an end. And, in this case, your "good" thing will come to an end to an even better thing.
"You look utterly ridiculous." Natasha laughed as you tuck your napkin into your shirt, letting it sit against your chest like a bib. 
"This is a new shirt, Nat," you stated, "I'm not going to ruin it by getting food on it." You shook your head.
"You dropped one thing and it landed in your lap," she retorted, a hint of laughter still in her voice.
"I'm not taking any chances." You shook your head, looking at her. "This is a common thing in a place like this. It's not absurd."
"It's supposed to go in your lap, Y/N," she explained.
"Then how am I supposed to protect my shirt?" You scoffed, picking up your utensils. "I don't care about my pants."
Natasha laughed once more. "You know what?" You joined in on her laughter when she took her napkin, tucking it into her shirt as well. "I'm not going to let you look like an idiot by yourself."
"Well, thank you for joining me on this adventure, ma'am," you said, nodding your head in thanks. 
She rolled her eyes as she continued picking at her food. "I look just as ridiculous as you."
"Impossible!" you expressed, slamming a fist on the table. She jumped as the table wobbled underneath your fist, dishes chiming at the impact, her eyes widening as she looked up at you and only you, not giving a care about the other patrons and their silent judgment being sent your way, and she smiled. "You look absolutely gorgeous and that will never change! Let the entire world know!"
Red colored her cheeks, looking down and away from you. She tucked a strand of her red hair behind her ear, catching her bottom lip between her teeth. You couldn't help but laugh seeing her flustered, calming down long enough for the other customers to return to their meals in peace.
"So, the bet between us…" You trailed off, watching as she picked her head back up to look at you, intrigued. "Are you going to tell me what you picked?"
She smiled. "Why would I want to ruin the surprise?"
"Well, I definitely don't want to pick the same spot you picked," you answered. "You probably picked the worst spot to vacation."
Her eyebrows went up as she crossed her arms over her chest, leaning back into her chair. 
"I didn't mean that you have bad taste in vacation spots," you stated, stammering. "It's just… You… I…" You sighed, grinning. "I trust you to choose a relaxing spot, Nat, but if you even so much as think about work-"
"Y/N, I'm looking forward to this," she told you, leaning forward. She placed her hand halfway across the table, to which you met. She held onto you, her thumb rubbing the top of your hand in smooth, gentle circles. "Even if you do win, I will love it."
"I'm looking forward to this, too," you said softly, matching her grin as you squeezed her hand reassuringly. "But, do tell, what do you have planned? You have every single day planned out, don't you? Show me the itinerary."
She chuckled as she took her hand away from yours, bringing it back to her plate. "I never said I had a plan." That's fair, she didn't. 
"For some reason, I really don't believe you." 
Maria continued to watch from her seat, seething in pure jealous anger as she can see how undeniably cute the two of you were together. Yet, she knows that you and she would be even cuter. She was excited to be the shoulder you would cry on when your relationship doesn't work out. Not that you'd seek her out, but she'd find you. 
She'll always find you.
48 days into training
The gunshots echoed in your head, bullet after bullet launched forward and you watched as they drove through the wooden boards painted soppily to look like people. John continued to shoot until his gun clicked, and you patted him on the back as he placed the weapon down.
"Great work, John," you complimented as he looked at you with a proud grin, "but next time, we'd like to avoid the civilians." His grin faded as his head snapped forward, looking out into the cluster of boards to see that he actually did shoot a civilian. "Try again."
As he reloaded his gun, you heard someone call your name from behind you. You instinctively turned your head, watching as the black haired recruit made her way to you. You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion as a small smile lifted your lips. John started shooting behind you as she finally reached you, placing her hands on her hips as she stared at you.
"I was wondering if I could join you," she said, nodding towards John. "Agent Romanoff cancelled all the sessions today."
Now your face was just confused. It's not like Natasha to cancel any sessions, she was always persistent when training. Never late, always early. And she didn't tell you she was cancelling today. You wonder what she was up to. "Why?"
Maria shrugged and you sighed at her cluelessness. "All the message said was to take the day off."
You pursed your lips together, thinking for a moment. Not about whether or not Maria could join your session, but about why Natasha cancelled hers. "Of course," you declared, gesturing towards John. "You can take the next turn. I'm assuming you already know how to-"
"Do this course? Yes." She nodded and walked past you, waiting patiently behind John.
You watched the recruits for a moment before anxiety bit you like a bitch, turning your back to them and pulling out your phone. You called Natasha, huffing out when it went to voicemail. You tried once more only to get the same result. You were so focused that you didn’t even hear your name being called until you felt a hand on your lower back, your heart skipping a beat as you gasped at the sudden touch. You turned your head, seeing Maria behind you as she returned her hand to her side.
“Sorry,” she said, grinning a little. You rubbed your forehead, sighing. “John’s out there changing out the boards. I was just checking to see if you’re okay.” Your eyes wandered behind her in time to see John struggle to change one of the boards, not being able to get it out of its stand. You considered helping him, but then decided that it was a learning experience.
“I’m fine,” you assured, looking back at her. “Why don’t you go help John with the boards?”
She sighed, placing her hands on her hips. “I thought the two of you have been together for a while,” she pointed out. “All I’m saying is that I wouldn’t lie to my girlfriend of four years.”
You furrowed your eyebrows, tilting your head. “It wasn’t a suggestion, Agent,” you demanded. “Go help Agent Nolan with the boards.”
Maria held her hands up in surrender, a small smirk lifting her lips as she stepped back. As fun as it was to hear her name come off your lips, she loved it even more when you took charge like that. The authority in your face sent her off the edge, her body warm and her mind fuzzy as she made her way to John, the small smirk on her face transformed to a wide smile.
Your eyes snapped to your phone when you felt it vibrate in your hands, your stomach dropping when you read the text. Maria turned to look at you, but you were gone.
Your heart hammered in your chest as you sprinted through the halls of the hospital, your mind thinking the worst despite her simple, ominous In the hospital, don’t freak out text. Your feet slammed hard against the floor as you ran, rounding the corner and nearly running into a nurse pushing a cart. You mumbled a sloppy apology as you continued forward, skidding to a stop when you reached the appropriate room number.
Natasha was lying on the bed, her head hidden in a pillow as you pushed against the door. She looked towards the sound of the door opening, picking her head up when she saw you. The door slowly closed behind you as you entered the room, immediately taking her hand when she reached for you.
There was a small skidmark on her cheek, something that’ll heal in no time, and that’s the only injury you could see right now. The look of relief on your face washed away into anger, causing her to roll her eyes and let her head fall back into the pillows.
“Don’t start, Y/N,” she said, a smile tugging the corner of her lips.
“You know how I feel about you riding that motorcycle,” you told her, starting anyway. “Especially since you seem to not like wearing helmets.”
“I’m fine,” she promised, looking back at you. She squeezed her hand, bringing it to her lips to plant a soft kiss against the top of it. You released a heavy sigh, eyebrows still furrowed in anger. “The brakes just stopped working.”
“You could’ve died, Nat,” you said.
“But I didn’t,” she told you, holding your hand against her chest. Your fingers were just close enough to her heart that you could feel it beat against the tips, the feeling sending waves of calmness through you. “It’s just a few scrapes and bruises. I’m alive.”
You released a deep breath, your shoulders relaxing at her words. The door opened behind you, but you didn’t turn to see who entered the room, already too far gone in Natasha’s eyes. It wasn’t until they cleared their throat and spoke that your view of her eyes were broken as she looked towards the interrupter.
“Ms. Natasha Romanoff,” the doctor said, flipping through a chart. You turned to look at him, squeezing her hand absentmindedly. He whistled. “You’re one lucky duckling, aren’t you? I’ve seen the motorcycle and it’s not-” He looked up to meet Natasha’s stare, seeing her shake her head urgently, but it was already too late.
Your eyes narrowed as you looked back at Natasha, raising an eyebrow and tilting your head.
The doctor cleared his throat. “I’ll come back in a minute,” he stated before rushing out of the room.
Natasha sighed as the door closed shut, leaving the two of you alone once more. “I didn’t want you to freak out.”
“I was already freaking out,” you countered. “Tell me exactly what happened, Nat.”
Your hand drew back to your side when she released you. “I was taking a drive around the city,” she started. “I approached a red light, but when I tried to brake for it, I felt the brake piston snap. I jumped off the bike when I realized what was happening.” You could picture the rest of it, her jumping off the bike as it continued forward into oncoming traffic. You didn’t need an active imagination to know what happened after that. 
“I’m just glad you’re okay,” you confessed, leaning down to gently rest your forehead against hers. “And your text didn’t make me feel any better, by the way. If you had become a vegetable or something, I would’ve killed you.”
She laughed, her hand resting on the back of your neck. She pulled you down, connecting your lips to hers in a soft kiss. You felt yourself melting into her, having to use the bed to keep you somewhat on your feet. When the door opened once more, you forced yourself away from her.
"Now that everything seems to be okay," the doctor stated, clearing his throat. He lingered by the door as it swung close behind him, flipping through the chart once again. "You're fine aside from the fractured rib or two, a few scrapes and bruises, but I'd like to keep you overnight for observation," he said, shrugging casually as he held the clipboard against him. "Especially after seeing the bike's condition."
"That won't be necessary-"
"She'll stay," you declared, interrupting her. You continued to stare at the doctor with a wide smile while she turned her head to look at you, eyebrow raised. "Thank you, doctor." You offered him your hand, which he shook briefly before leaving the room. You looked at Natasha, the smile still wide on your face. "This is your punishment."
She rolled her eyes, sucking in a sharp breath. "I would've preferred a different kind of punishment."
"Oh, I bet you would," you said, laughing. "You're not that lucky." She grinned, trying not to laugh to avoid the pain. "So, why'd you cancel your sessions today?"
She sighed, laying her head back. Her eyes fluttered close as if she were suddenly exhausted, her hand searching for yours in her moment of blindness. You didn't hesitate to grab onto her, feeling her relax under your touch. "I had some errands to run."
You tilted your head, confused. Errands? During training? The least she could've done was told you, you would've loved to go on an errand run with her. To get away from all the recruits and just take a moment between the two of you. No, something else was going on here. "You're a terrible liar," you declared and she laughed, but immediately regretted it as pain shot through her ribs.
"Don't make me laugh, Y/N," she pleaded, her eyes slowly opening to look at you.
"Keep your secrets," you stated, letting go of her hand. You smiled softly at her, genuinely relieved that she was actually okay. You couldn't care where she went or what she was doing, she's safe now. And that's all that mattered to you.
You had cancelled the remaining training sessions with John to stay by Natasha. It was the least you could do after making her stay in the hospital overnight. You didn't want to leave her to suffer alone, but you had eventually drifted off to sleep somewhere around midnight. Natasha watched you for a while, a small smile on her face as you laid in what seemed to be the most uncomfortable position in the hospital brand armchair, before she dozed off as well.
But she was stirred awake when the door clicked shut, a shadowed figure venturing into the room and she almost called out to you before she noticed that, in the sliver of light provided from the parking lot outside, you were still fast asleep on the armchair.
She watched as the new presence placed a blanket over you, causing you to move a little under the added weight before you settled back into your deep slumber. The person bent over, planting a light, soft kiss on your forehead and, in that moment, Natasha saw their face pass one of the rays of light and she was instantly on guard.
"I didn't know you knew your way around a motorcycle." Natasha's voice was firm, powerful, yet quiet as to not wake you. 
She tensed at her sentence, slowly straightening her form. Her eyes didn't leave your sleeping body, but she did lean towards Natasha. "I don't know what you're talking about."
Natasha stared at Maria's silhouetted figure, eyebrows slightly pinched together. "I know what you're doing." 
Finally, Maria looked away from you and towards the bed, her head moving slightly to reveal her blue eyes in a sliver of light. Natasha made eye contact with her. "What's that?"
She's really playing dumb. She could deny it all she wants, Natasha knows she sabotaged her motorcycle. She couldn't connect the pieces until now, seeing her care for you while you were asleep. She did her own inspection on her motorcycle yesterday, everything was intact. Not a screw out of place. But her brake piston suddenly decided to give in? That's sabotage.
But she didn't understand why Maria would do it. Now she does. Maria's trying to get rid of the competition, which is Natasha. She wasn't going down that easily, though.
"Stay away from Y/N." It was four words, each one filled with a different threat. Normally, Maria would've been obeying Natasha's threat without hesitation, but the things she feels just by thinking about you made her defiant.
Maria said nothing as she slunked away, leaving the hospital room like nothing had happened. Natasha knew she had to be on her guard now.
She just didn't think she'd have to watch your back, too.
The agent you had been talking to separated from you, bidding a farewell as they walked into a room while you kept walking down the hall, now being able to focus more on your surroundings. And you saw the back of a certain little redhead that should be training right now.
She was talking to one of Clint's recruits, but the conversation seemed as if it was about to end by the way the recruit took a step back. You snuck up to her, the recruit turning on their heels as they said their thanks and parted ways. You were kinda annoyed with how she was supposed to be resting when she was standing right here, not in bed. You don't really understand why she'd lie to you. Lying usually means hiding secrets. Like what exactly she was doing yesterday to end up in that accident. 
When you reached her, you placed your hands on her hips, feeling her tense underneath your touch for a slight moment before instantly relaxing. "I thought you were supposed to be in bed," you said softly, your chin resting against her shoulder as your lips brushed her ear. She turned around and your hands were instantly back to your sides.
Your stomach dropped to your feet when you made eye contact with Maria, your eyes studying her new short, curly haircut that she had dyed red, her black hair no more. You took a step back, your face flushed with embarrassment as you looked around, seeing if anybody saw this devastating moment.
"You… You got a haircut," you stammered.
Maria smiled, thinking about how cute you are when you get flustered. "Yeah," she said, nodding as she ran a hand through it. You swallowed your mouthful of saliva, your hands playing with themselves nervously. "I figured it was time for a change. The long black hair just wasn't doing it for me anymore."
You chewed on your lip, still trying to wrap your head around what the hell is happening here. "I'm so sorry," you finally said, realizing that she was waiting for an uncomfortable amount of time for you to reply. "You just… You looked like my girlfriend from behind." You couldn't even remember her name in this moment of humiliation. And you didn't even realize how fast Maria lost her smile when you said girlfriend. As if the word was toxic. 
"Hey, I'm not the one apologizing this time." Maria laughed it off as you hid your face in your hands. She was so nonchalant about it while you were mentally scolding yourself. You felt like you cheated on Natasha, the guilt getting to your head a lot harder than it should. You didn't do anything. You didn't kiss her. You just placed your hands on her hips, maybe got a bit too close to her ear. That's it. "Y/N?"
You removed your hands from your face, cleared your throat, and maintained your posture. "I like your haircut," you commented. "Makes your eyes... pop." You sent her a smile, though she knew it didn't reach your eyes. "I have to go. John's waiting for me." You quickly scurried away, rubbing the back of your neck as you groaned.
You decided to hide in your room, too self-conscious to be out in the world right now. Lying in the middle of a dark room, door locked, you felt at peace with yourself. You don't know how long time has passed and you were pretty sure you dozed off because you were startled by the harsh tapping at your door. You ignored it, pulling a pillow over your head and pressing it into your face as the knocking got more persistent. Couldn't they take a hint?
"Y/N, open the door. I know you're in there." The sound of Natasha's voice should've soothed you, made you feel more relaxed, but it only stressed you out more. Does she know? Does she not know? You don't know which one is worse if you're going to be real. Deep down, you knew it wasn't as big of a deal as you're making it, but it felt so wrong.
There was a break in her knocking, silence for a moment. Long enough for you to believe that she had just given up and walked away, leaving you to wallow in your self-pity, but then you heard the door lock turn and the door was pushed open, closing a moment later. The pillow on your face was yanked off of you and you blinked, surprised.
She has a key. Of course, she has a key.
You felt the bed dip down behind you when she added her weight to it, her arm snaking itself around your waist and pulling you close to her. You didn't fight her as she rested her cheek on the top of your head, the arm that was resting around your waist moved up, her hand pressing against your chest, your heart beating steadily against her palm. You know she was ignoring her pain for you.
"Do you even know what time it is?"
You both were whispering as if you were scared to disturb the darkness engulfing you in comfort. This was nice. You had thought you couldn't face her, but her holding you so tightly in her arms, you felt right. You felt like everything was right in the world as if the whole Maria thing didn't happen.
"You've been in here for the whole day." Her voice was so… calming. It melted your worries away like a hot flame. You belonged here, at this moment, in her arms. Yours to love. "I was worried about you." She released a heavy, relieved sigh, her breath skinning across your cheek. Now that she knew you were safe and not off dying in a ditch somewhere, she could relax. "I haven't heard from you at all today. And when Nolan came to my room to tell me you missed training, I just…" She sighed once again, her mind rewinding that moment John found her, that feeling of fear and terror. She spent the rest of the day searching for you, getting out of bed, fighting against the pain of her fractured ribs so she could find you, so she could hold you, feel your heartbeat under her touch.
John could use a break, anyway. You've been training him as much as possible to win this competition, so he deserves to skip a training session or two.
"I'm fine," you assured her softly, letting out a deep breath. "Just… mortified."
She hummed thoughtfully, encouraging you to say more as she pressed you tighter against her, sucking in a deep breath as she closed her eyes.
"Remember that night at dinner, you said that you thought Maria has a crush on me?" You felt her tense around you, her eyes snapping open. She couldn't stop her mind from wandering, picturing Maria advancing on you, replacing that with the feeling of her knuckles connecting to the bitch's jaw with no remorse. It could happen during training, the "accidental" injury between her and Natasha's fist. Nobody would question it. Only her.
"Yes." It was one syllable, one word, said between clenched teeth, her jaw locked tight in frustration at the thought of Maria touching you.
"I'm starting to think it's you she's crushing on."
That took an unexpected turn. You instantly felt her body relax, her jaw unlocking itself. "Why do you say that?"
"Have you not seen her at all today?"
"Y/N, I've been in bed all day, too." She shook her head with a smile as you turned to lie on your back, Natasha propping her head up with her elbow so she could see your face, her other hand resting on your stomach as you played with her fingers. 
"She got a haircut," you said, sighing. "Short. Red."
She furrowed her eyebrows, turning her head so she could watch you play with her hand. "Kinda like-"
"You." You nodded, moving to hide your face behind your hands, but she was quicker and managed to catch you by your fingers. "From the back, she looks just like you."
Realization dawned on her and she… laughed. Softly, not the "in your face" kinda laugh that would make you feel even more bad. "You thought she was me."
"It was humiliating, Nat," you stated. You relived the moment in your head again and you wanted to scream. "I just sort of… blacked out. One second, I'm standing in front of a new and improved Maria. Next, I'm hearing you knocking against my door." You stared ahead, eyes wide. "It's horrifying. It doesn't go with her skin tone at all."
Natasha chuckled, her head falling back into the pillow. "And here I thought something bad actually happened."
"Something bad did happen, Nat," you expressed. "I thought it was you, so I…" You explained what you did, cheeks red with embarrassment.
Natasha gasped, picking her head up again. "You didn't."
"I did." There was a moment of silence, Natasha letting you soak in your thoughts for a second before you smacked her shoulder. "I hate you."
"Babe, you're acting like it's the end of the world," she stated. "Did you sleep with her?"
"Wha- No! Of course not! Why would that even-"
"Then everything is fine," she assured you, laying back into the pillow. And then she chuckled as she said, "At least I know you won't cheat on me."
"I could cheat on you if I wanted to," you declared stubbornly, "I just don't want to."
"You're falling apart because you grabbed another girl's waist," Natasha said, laughing. "Just imagine what would happen to you if you actually did sleep with someone."
"Oh, my- I'd just have a full-on meltdown at that point." Your stomach twisted at even the thought of sleeping with someone that isn't Natasha. "It's all you. You're the only one I want, Romanoff."
She grinned. "Prove it."
You rolled your eyes, listening to her squeal as you rolled over on top of her, pinning her arms above her head by her wrists. Your legs tangled around hers, the blanket weaving around your ankles as you moved. She lightly tugged against your grip on her wrists as you used your free hand to smooth out the indent in between her eyebrows, your face close to hers. Your finger trailed down her face, rounding her nose and swiping across her bottom lip. When her face contorted in pain, you started to pull away, but she shook her head, desperate to keep you on her. To her, the pain was worth it. But you lifted your weight off of her a little bit, relieving her from some of the pain.
"I'll prove it," you whispered, your lips brushing against her ear. Her heartbeat picked up speed underneath you, her head instinctively turning away from you to give you better access to her neck. She writhed underneath you when your lips connected to a spot on her neck, her hands pushing a bit harder against your constraint, desperate to touch you.
"Let me," she pleaded, her sentence fading into a moan as you dragged your lips lower. "Y/N. Please."
You couldn't help but laugh at her begging, your smile pressed against her skin. The second your grip loosened, her hands were immediately under your shirt, gasping at her cool fingers dancing along your back, sliding upwards and creating a trail of goosebumps behind her path. 
"Stop teasing me," she whispered. "You've proven it."
You hummed against her neck for a moment before picking your head up, your nose rubbing against hers. She lifted her chin in an attempt to latch your lips onto hers, but your lips merely brushed against each other, leaving her whining underneath you.
"I am…" She made eye contact with you, her eyes begging for more of your taste, her tongue flicking out to lick her lips and you almost gave in. Almost. "...hungry."
She tried to hold onto you, but you managed to escape her and climb off the bed, laughing at her pleading groans. "I hate you so much right now."
You turned to look at her, seeing her tangled in the blankets, her hair tousled around her face, surrounding her in the perfect frame of red tangles. If she hadn't been so cocky, you would've finished what you started. And this picture of her right now would've ignited that burning desire deep down in your soul, but you made yourself walk backward, your eyes remaining on her vulnerable form as you blindly made your way to the door.
"The things I'd be doing to you right now," you told her, biting your bottom lip to prevent the smile from growing on your face. Your back bumped into the door, your hand finding the knob almost immediately. "You could be screaming my name right now."
"Y/N." She moaned your name, her hand reaching out to you, desperate for your hold. "Please."
You stepped forward, bringing the door with you as you opened it. "Maybe later." You sent her a wink before turning to leave, your heart dropping as you jumped back when you saw Maria on the other side, her hand up as she was about to knock. The gasp that left your throat was enough to make Natasha climb out of bed to join your side.
She saw it for herself, the new haircut Maria was flaunting matched that of her own. She didn't know how to handle this, the shock keeping her lips sealed as the two of you stared at her.
You were wrong. It went along well with her skin tone, but she didn't want to admit that. She knew why you said it.
"I was just… checking up on you." Maria stared between the two of you, marking the crazy hairstyle Natasha has going on, clearing her throat as she brought her arm back to her side. "We haven't bumped into each other today after this morning." She was clearly interrupting something.
"She's fine," Natasha said, finally able to find her voice while you, on the other hand, still couldn't. It was going to take a while to get used to the hairdo, knowing you're gonna have to pay close attention now that two distinct redheads are mucking about in the compound. You don't even know where to begin to comprehend how weird this could possibly be for Natasha.
Maria's eyes flickered to Natasha, blazing with annoyance. She was talking to you, not her. The look was subtle, hidden amongst a toothy grin and hopeful face.
You cleared your throat, finally snapping out of your daze. "I'm fine." You sent Maria a smile as you leaned against the door. "Thanks for checking up on me, Maria."
Her smile reached her eyes at your voice, her head tilting just slightly at your manners. You were oblivious to the tense stare Natasha was sending her; she wasn't, but she stood against it. She wasn't going to scare her away from you. "Anytime." She meant it when she said it. She'd drop anything and everything to run to you when you call. She turned to face Natasha, her eyes hardening to mirror the true redhead's glare. "I was wondering if we could postpone the training-"
"You, a rookie, are asking me to postpone your training?" Maria could see which way this was going to go. Natasha knows Maria's little secret, but what she doesn't know is the true depth of her feelings for you are. "Actually, I'm going to make it an hour earlier. I expect you to be on time." Natasha's arm extended in front of you, pushing you back slightly so she could shut the door on Maria.
"That was a bit harsh," you commented, watching Natasha run a hand through her tangled hair. You grinned, crossing your arms over your shoulder. "Are you trying to make me know that you're not returning her crush?"
Her hand froze in the middle of her hair, eyes zoning out for a moment. You don't realize Maria's affection and she's not sure if she should tell you or not. She's definitely not threatened by the likes of Maria, and if she was willing to go far enough to sabotage her motorcycle and to chop off her hair and dye it the same color as Natasha's, then her "crush" might not be just that. "I'd like to keep an eye on her," Natasha expressed. "I think you should steer clear from Maria for a bit, too. I'm worried."
You furrowed your eyebrows. "Why are you worried? Maria is harmless."
Harmless for now. Training her to become more of a threat is what's worrying her. She's gonna have to file a transfer, get Maria out of here and away from you. She's already advanced as is, with a month and a half of training under her belt. 
"Baby." Your voice pulled her out of her thoughts, blinking them away. You stepped up to you, wrapping your arms around her waist and pulling her close to you. "What's on your mind?" You pouted, the pout you always used to get information out of Natasha, the pout she always gave in to.
But she didn't want you to worry. Soon, Maria's just going to be a lost memory between the two of you once she gets that transfer filed. "Nothing," she said before planting a quick kiss on the tip of your nose. Your pout turned into a frown. You knew she was lying. "Let's go to bed."
"I wanna get some food first." You've been in bed all day, hiding from your humiliation. You sent her a warm smile, the tenseness in her eyes relaxing. "I'll be back." You caught her lips in a quick, soft kiss before breaking away from her, feeling a bit repetitive as you walked backward to the door. "Want something?" She crossed her arms over her chest as she shook her head, a small smile tugging her lips. She watched you leave the room.
There weren't a lot of people in the compound at this time, a few stragglers here and there, but nothing like it is during the day. It was quiet, peaceful, and the kitchen was practically empty aside from an agent or two enjoying a break.
You settled on something quick, feeling too lazy to cook actual food. You just wanted to eat and get back to Natasha as fast as possible, knowing she was waiting with an empty spot next to her just for you. You managed to get a few bites in before the chair next to you was pulled away from the table, having to do a double-take to make sure it was Maria and not Natasha.
You remembered Natasha's words and your first instinct upon seeing her sit down next to you was to run, but… you were frozen. You couldn't move.
"Hey," she said softly, a small smile lifting the corner of her lips. "Are you really okay?"
No. "Yes." How did she know where to find you?
She squinted her eyes, skeptical of your answer. There was zero thinking in the response. "Are you sure? If Agent Romanoff is hurting you-"
"Definitely not," you stated. You couldn't help but laugh at the thought of Natasha ever hurting you, shaking your head as you turned away from Maria and back to your food. "Nat would never hurt me. We’re fine.”
She released a long sigh, making you turn your head to look back at her. "I was in a relationship like that, once," she admitted, looking away from you. She rubbed her arms, shy, as a small smile lifted her lips. "We were together for so long and it was perfect. I was so in love that I didn't realize what she was doing to me. She started with little white lies, and then she told me to stay away from certain people, hiding things." And then she sighed, the reminiscing smile fading away from her face. “It wasn’t until I found out she was cheating on me that I had a wake-up call.”
You looked away again, your teeth clenching. Natasha loved you, she would never do that to you… right? "I'm sorry you had to go through that," you expressed, sending her a smile, "but this is not my relationship. We've been together for years and it's been perfect."
She pursed her lips together for a moment. "All good things come to an end," is the only thing she said. She patted you on the shoulder as she stood up, leaving you alone with your food… and thoughts.
She held a smile on her face as she walked away.
You and Natasha were fine. You couldn’t let Maria get into your head like that, turning away from her retreating form to go back to your food. You stared at the plate in front of you, eyebrows furrowed deeply in thought. Natasha wouldn’t do those things, she loved you… right?
You had suddenly lost your appetite, cleaning up your food before leaving the kitchen. You didn’t go back to the bedroom, to Natasha. Instead, you made your way to the training room and positioned yourself in front of a punching bag, wrapping tape around your fingers. You needed to think, and punching helped push your thoughts down the hill to get them rolling.
So what if she doesn’t tell you her thoughts all the time? She was worried about Maria, but why? You saw no real threat in the recruit. Really, you should be the one to be worried about Maria. Her crush on Natasha has managed to evolve into something creepy, like getting the same exact haircut. You should be concerned for Natasha’s safety, standing by her side in case Maria’s obsession takes a turn for the worse. Everything in you wanted to protect her, to hold onto her defensively. You knew Natasha could handle herself, but at the moment, it didn’t matter.
You just wanted her to be safe.
You threw a frustrated punch into the punching bag, huffing in annoyance when it ripped open underneath your fist, the pressure of the sand tearing the hole to make it bigger. You were forced to take a step back as the sand started pouring out, making a pile on the floor beneath the hanging bag.
“You must have some secret super strength or something you never told me about.” You flinched at the voice, picking your head up to see Clint walking into the room. You sighed, a bit relieved that it wasn’t a redhead, either one of them. “How come you never told me?”
“It’s an old bag,” you expressed, eyebrows furrowed in slight anger as you looked back at the hole. “It was going to give in eventually.” It just so happened to give in on your most frustrating punch.
He helped you unhook the bag from the ceiling, laying it flat so it would stop spilling its guts everywhere. You scratched the top of your head, staring at the big pile of sand in the middle of the training room. You chewed the inside of your cheek, lost in thought. So lost in thought that you hadn’t even processed that Clint was talking until he snapped his fingers in front of your face.
“What?” You blinked, looking at him.
He grinned, crossing his arms over his chest. “Are you okay?”
“Why is everybody asking me that?” You huffed in annoyance, harshly unwrapping the tape from your knuckles. You avoided eye contact with him, focused on the tape. “I’m fine.”
He sighed, watching as you started having trouble removing the tape from your knuckles, the strip getting tangled in God knows what, and you threw your hands in the air. You give up, your eyes burning with tears from how agitated you were with this whole thing. Clint saw this, taking a step forward and gently grabbing onto your hand.
You watched as he removed the tape from your knuckles for you, sniffling loudly. The quiet between the two of you was welcoming, needed. You just wanted the comfort of someone who’s not judging you, who’s not questioning everything you do. He crumpled up the tape between his hands when he got it all off of you, sending you a kind smile when you looked up at him.
“If I didn’t know any better, then I’d say that you’re definitely not fine,” he stated as a matter of factly. You glared at him through your unshed tears, eyes and cheeks red. “What’s on your mind, Y/N?”
You crossed your arms over your chest, chewing the inside of your cheek once again. Maria’s words just echoed in your head and you can’t believe you were letting her play with your emotions like this. “It’s just something Maria said,” you admitted, placing a hand on your forehead and closing your eyes. You just wanted to hide in your bed again.
“What’d she say?”
You scratched the back of your head as your eyes slowly opened, releasing a hefty sigh. “She suggested that… Nat was cheating.”
You saw the second Clint lost his casual mask, anger crossing his features within the blink of an eye. His eyes narrowed, fire igniting behind his pupils at your words. You don’t think you’ve ever seen him this angry before, and you’ve seen situations where he was mad. “She said that?”
“And you believe her?”
“Of course not!” You were so annoyed with yourself when you even believed it for a second. The signs, according to Maria, were all there. The small lies, the controlling. Though it wasn’t as much as she claimed it to be. It was one little lie, one moment of controlling, one day of hiding, but there’s always escalation. Once it starts, you don’t think it’ll ever end. “It’s just the thought. The possibility.”
Clint was still fuming, his arms crossed over his chest as he harshly squished the wad of tape in his hand. It didn’t matter what anybody said, Clint knows Natasha isn’t a cheater. “Maria has an... infatuation with you.”
“That’s what Nat was saying,” you said, “but it’s painstakingly obvious that Maria likes Nat.” You could even say love if you wanted, but you didn’t. Nat wasn’t Maria’s to love, she was yours.
“Seriously?” The anger in Clint’s eyes seemed to have evaporated at your obliviousness, furrowing your eyebrows together when a grin showed up on his face. He was amused. “Y/N, she did her hair to look precisely like Nat.”
“Your girlfriend.”
“My- Oh.” Your eyebrows shot up in shock. Why hasn’t that even crossed your mind? Maria dyed and cut her hair to mirror Natasha’s for you, not for her. She thinks you have a thing for redheads when, in reality, you just have a thing for Natasha. Red colored your cheeks, clearing your throat from the embarrassment that you felt. Now that you think about it, it would’ve been a bit weird for Natasha to date someone that looks like her. Talk about an ego.
Clint couldn’t help but laugh at this serious situation, seeing the realization slowly cross your features in real-time. “How have you not realized the love that girl has for you?”
You already answered this kind of question when Natasha asked it a month ago, and you gave Clint the same answer you had given her. You were way too focused on Natasha to notice anybody else. Maria was just a recruit to you, not even a competition to Natasha. “It doesn’t matter how Maria feels about me, Clint. I will choose Natasha, every single time.”
He patted you on the shoulder, clearly glad to hear you say that. “So stop doubting her,” he declared. “She’s not cheating on you. She would never cheat on you, Y/N, because she loves you too much to do that. And don’t let Hopkins get in your head.”
“You’re right.” You groaned, rubbing your face. You really needed that vacation Natasha’s mentioning. At this point, you don’t even care if she wins and picks the location. You wanted to get out of here for a bit, not even think about anything SHIELD related.
“Good.” He nodded, uncrossing his arms and tossing the wad of tape in the air, but you managed to snatch it before it fell back into his hand. He rolled his eyes as you started walking away, tossing the tape into the nearest trash before leaving the training room.
You're gonna have to apologize to maintenance about the pile of sand when you see them.
“How’s your training going?” you questioned as he walked alongside you in the halls. 
He sighed. “Not good,” he confessed. “My recruits don’t seem to be into it anymore. They’re not even trying.” You had to bite back a smile, crossing your arms over your chest as you wandered around the compound with Clint by your side. Of course they were no longer trying. You had informed them that the top agent in their class would be nominated to be the director’s assistant, how it happened every few years and this was one of those years.
At first mention, it sounds like a once in a lifetime opportunity, but the more you talked about assisting Nick Fury, the more it seemed like a chore. It was a made up position, obviously, so of course you had to go all out on it. The pay was absolutely horrible, they would barely get any time out in the field, and Nick Fury himself was just an absolute asshole to his assistant, not being able to keep one for more than a year. After mentioning little fake facts, you saw the look on their faces.
They didn’t want that job. The only thing that’s worse than having just one recruit is having two that don’t try.
“Looks like you’re going to be the loser this year, then,” you stated, clapping him on the back with a laugh. “Big, juicy steak with my name on it, just waiting to be paid by Clint Barton.”
“We’ll see in a month, Y/N,” he promised. “I’m going to whip these recruits into shape, even if it kills me.”
“Even if it gets you an HR visit?”
“Even then!” he confirmed and you laughed again. “I’m not a sore loser. I’m not rubbing the fact that you only have one recruit in your face.”
“Nat said something, huh."
“Yep," he confessed, laughing.
You grinned. Natasha must have told him to cool it on the teasing. You didn’t mind when he did it, but you thought it was even funnier when Natasha got on his case about it. Watching the “big man” cripple in fear underneath a petite redhead was the best thing you could ever see.
“Whatever,” he muttered.
“I didn’t even say anything!”
He rolled his eyes, slightly pushing you away from him. “Your grin says otherwise,” he countered and you laughed. “I’m going to bed.” Shaking his head, he separated from you, your laughter chasing him as he walked away.
You made your way to your own bedroom, excited to join Natasha in bed now. The door to your room came into view, your heart picking up speed at the thought of her, but you skidded to a halt when you heard the faint noise of someone crying behind a partly closed door, the maintenance closet. Everything in you told you to just ignore it, to walk away, but there was a small voice in the back of your head that told you to comfort whoever it was that was crying. The part in your brain that had the moral compass, telling you that the right thing to do in this situation is to check up on the person behind the door. And, so, you did.
You pushed the door open slowly, just enough to get into the room, the person crying in the dim light immediately halting their sobs, sniffling. You peeked around the corner and saw Maria sitting on an upside down bucket, sighing as you realized that you should’ve just kept on walking and now it was just too late to turn back now. You told yourself that Clint’s words were just not the truth, that Maria didn’t have any feelings for you. It made it easier as you entered the closet, staying a few feet away from her just in case.
“Looks like it’s my turn to ask, but are you okay?” You crossed your arms over your chest loosely, preparing to use them if need be.
Maria laughed humorlessly at your pathetic joke, nodding her head and using the back of her hand to wipe off a side of her face, though it wasn’t worth it. More tears just recovered it. “I’ll be fine.”
You sighed, taking a tentative step forward. “What happened?”
“John... broke up with me.” That’s right, she’s dating John! There was no way she’ll have feelings for other people if she’s opening herself up to dating, right? You had completely forgotten about their relationship, seeing them together for the first time a month ago in that restaurant and just not thinking about it ever again. It didn’t seem like they were dating, but you understood if they wanted to keep it on the down low. Especially since they’re both recruits.
You walked the rest of the way into the closet, kneeling down in front of her. You weren’t very good at the consoling part. It was easier with Natasha because if she was upset, all you had to do was just hold her and she was okay afterward, but you didn’t want to hold Maria. Even if she does look like Natasha.
“Hey, it’s not the end of the world,” you assured her. “Sure, it feels like it now, but that feeling doesn’t last forever. Trust me, Maria. I’ve gone through my share of breakups.” You rested a hand on her shoulder, not even thinking about the contact, not even thinking about how her jaw clenched and her eyes fluttering close underneath your touch. “He’s an idiot, anyway. You’re a great, kind person, Maria, and he’s stupid for throwing that away.”
Her eyes opened and she looked at you, tears no longer coated her eyes. A smile lifted her lips and the silence between you started to get awkward, especially since your hand was still on her shoulder. You wanted to break it, either the contact or the silence, but when you tried to pull your hand away from her, she quickly caught your wrist. Her grip was tight, refusing to let go even if you tried to lightly tug against her.
“I need comfort.” You felt her pull your wrist to her, making you lose balance and fall to your knees, ultimately getting closer to her. She didn’t waste a moment, her lips finding yours the second your knees touched the floor, the second you were close to her. The kiss was rough, harsh, everything you didn’t want in a kiss. Her other hand wrapped around the back of your neck in a tight grip, pulling you into her and preventing you from pushing her away. You felt her teeth against your lips, desperately trying to get away from her. And thank God for breathing because the instant she needed to breathe, the instant she pulled herself back just a little bit to catch her breath, you managed to use your free hand to swipe up in between your faces, knocking her arm off of your neck.
You were on your feet immediately, staggering back to get as far away from her as possible. You wondered just how far she would have gone if you hadn’t managed to escape her grasp, the look of a broken hearted girl no longer on her face. She was angry, annoyed that you got away. Your hand found the door, pulling it open the rest of the way, letting the light from the hall flood the room in a brighter color.
She stood up, stepping towards you. “Y/N, I’m sorry,” she begged. “I was… just so vulnerable.” That wasn’t vulnerability. That was… something else. “Y/N, please.”
You finally got your common sense back and left the room, feeling her watch you run away. She gritted her teeth and kicked the bucket she was sitting on, wiping off the tears from her face. She had always been able to make herself cry on command, it wasn’t hard and it always works like a charm. She wasn’t dating John. And as long as you don’t bring it up, you won’t know that.
She knew you were running to Natasha and that only made her even more pissed off. She was mad at herself, too. She rushed into it too quickly, not giving you the time to process your feelings for her. She was scaring you off and she needed to pull back. But the thing is, she didn’t want to. She wanted you. She needed you. And that kiss? Oh, that was her breaking point. She had both boyfriends and girlfriends throughout her life and not a single one of them made her feel like that while kissing. She was going to get you.
And she’ll stop at nothing to get her way.
When Natasha opened her eyes, she slowly rolled over, grunting in pain, to see you lying on your back next to her, your eyes wide open and staring at the ceiling. If it wasn’t for your chest subtly rising and falling, she would’ve thought you were dead. She placed a hand on your shoulder, but immediately pulled it away when you flinched at the feeling, gasping as if you haven’t been breathing the whole time.
She saw a tear slowly crawl down your cheek and she was instantly on high alert, propping her head up with her elbow. Her eyebrows pinched together in anger, her jaw tightening as she stared at you, another tear following the trail the first one left.
“What happened, baby?” She tried to keep her voice even and calm, but there was a touch of toxicity in her tone. She couldn’t help it. Just the thought of somebody potentially hurting you to the point where you were just lying there like a statue… she wanted to kill them.
“I’m so sorry.” Your voice was quiet, cracking. Another tear slid down your face and she fought the instinct to swipe it away. “I… I…” You finally moved a limb, your hand covering your eyes as a sob escaped the back of your throat.
Natasha was scared to touch you. She didn’t want to scare you at the same time she wanted to hold you, to wrap you in her arms as tight as she possibly can and never let go. But her limbs were just as frozen as yours, anger making her rigid. Your hand still covered your eyes, refusing to let anymore tears be seen as your fingers soaked them up. She stayed quiet, letting you process.
“I’m so naïve,” you continued, your hand falling from your face. She saw you now, your red eyes, your red cheeks, your red nose. You wanted to cry so hard, but you fought against that feeling for now. “I should’ve listened to you and Clint. I should’ve… I should’ve walked away. She...” Your sentence cut off in a sob.
“What did she do?” Natasha instantly knew who you were talking about, her jaw clenching so tight that she could crack a walnut between her teeth. Her free hand balled into a fist, her nails digging into her palm. You weren't looking at her to see the anger and she was thankful for that.
In between your sobbing and tears, you told her what had happened in that maintenance closet with Maria, even the moment in the kitchen, Natasha listening closely. Her eyes narrowed as your story was coming to an end, her blood boiling with pure rage, but the feeling quickly melted away when you covered your face with both of your hands, crying into your palms. As much as she wanted to go seek Maria and show her exactly what the consequences of doing this to you were, she wanted to console you even more. 
She gently placed a hand on one of your elbows. The second she touched you, you rolled over into her arms, your hands leaving your face as you cried into her. She held onto you tightly, rubbing your back as you half sobbed, half apologized.
No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't feel angry with you in her arms. She wanted to imagine what she was going to do to Maria, but she couldn't. She could only think of you, holding onto her so tightly as if you were afraid to let go. 
She planted her lips on the top of your head and stayed there, shushing you soothingly as you continued to cry. 
It didn't take long for you to fall asleep. Your sleeping schedule was all wrong now that you had slept the day away yesterday. And you would've stayed asleep, too, but when you reached for Natasha, your hand caught the mattress and not her body, pulling you out of your slumber. It was early, she must be trying to train. You wondered if it would go well with her injury. She doesn't necessarily need to be physical to train, but it's easier.
Your eyes opened, brain foggy. You instinctively wiped your face, feeling the dried tear stains and you were reminded of what had happened. Guilt ate at you as you sat up, rubbing your eyes with your palms as you sucked in a shaky breath. The urge to stay in bed all day again was strong, you even went as far as to pull the covers over your head. 
A groan came from underneath the covers and you threw them off your head, looking over at the empty spot and furrowing your eyebrows when you saw that Natasha's phone still sat on the nightstand. She usually takes her phone with her, it's a part of the job. You sucked on your bottom lip for a moment before climbing out of the bed with another groan, getting to your feet and putting on some fresh clothes before leaving the room.
You checked the kitchen when you didn't find her in the training room, spotting one of her recruits, Stephen Griggs, sitting at the table with a bowl of cereal. You walked up to him and he greeted you with a smile, a mouthful of cereal behind it. Milk dribbled down his chin as he quickly swallowed the cereal to greet you with a "good morning", wiping the milk off of his chin.
"Aren't you supposed to be training?"
He shrugged. "Agent Romanoff never showed up," he stated. "I just figured she was still training Hopkins."
You couldn't help but wince at the name, your posture straightening defensively. "They're not in the training room."
"No, they wouldn't be," he assured. "Romanoff thought it'd be better to train outside today because of the weather. They should be-"
"I know. Thanks." You waved him off as you walked away.
You knew Natasha was professional enough not to let what happened last night affect training Maria. The quicker she gets Maria out of the training program, the sooner neither of you have to see her ever again. 
After checking outside to see that she wasn't out there, you were starting to get a bit worried. You soon found yourself in front of Maria's door, a shared room with one of Clint's recruits, who was no doubtedly training right now. And if Natasha wasn't outside or in the training room with Maria, then Maria had to be in here.
Hesitantly, you knocked on the door. As much as you didn't want to, you had to face Maria to question her about Natasha. You had to put the humiliation on hold for a moment to find out where your girlfriend was… if the door ever opened, which it didn't. You turned away to leave, but froze when you heard a floorboard creak from behind the closed door. You could be hearing things, desperation can lead to you hearing what you want to hear, so you tried to open the door.
It was locked, but that didn't stop you from knocking on it again.
"Maria?" You leaned against the door, raising your voice so that she would hear you no matter where she was in the room. You cleared your throat, glancing over your shoulder. "Maria, I'm just… I'm trying to find Nat. Have you seen her?"
Silence. Maybe you were just hearing things, sighing after a moment before ultimately leaving. 
You made it back to your room, having to get dressed and ready for John's next training session despite Natasha being the only thing on your mind. You weren't going to be a very good teacher today, but John has been handling himself well. The only thing he needs help with is the same exact thing you had trouble with when you were training - the shooting range. Other than that, he was perfect. 
He actually has a chance at placing second. 
You were pulling your shoes on when Natasha's phone released a vibration, the nightstand enhancing the sound. You ignored it at first, not giving it a second thought. You tied your shoes and stood up, the phone flickering on a moment later with another text.
You caught a glimpse of it, the word baby catching your interest. You were just going to ignore it again, but now you were just curious.
You swiped the phone off the nightstand, unplugging it from the charger and unlocking her phone - your birthday was her passcode, isn't that adorable? - to look at the texts. 
Baby, I'm pretty sure I left my bra in your room. That text alone should've ripped your heart to pieces, but the messages kept coming, new, sent moments ago. 
Nat, are you there?
I'll stop by in a moment to get my bra. We don't need Y/N finding out.
Are we still on for tonight? I can do that new thing that Y/N doesn't want. You know, the position where you-  You stopped reading, not finishing the sentence. 
The phone fell from your hand and landed on the ground with a thud as you raced to the bathroom, dropping to your knees in front of the toilet to empty out whatever is in your stomach.
The more you pictured Natasha in bed with someone else, the more you puked. "All good things come to an end," thought in Maria's condescending, bone-chilling voice. You gagged into the toilet, but there was nothing left in your stomach. You had emptied it, just like Natasha has emptied your heart.
You stood to your feet and washed your mouth out with water from the sink, tears blurring your vision for a brief moment before using the stream of water to rinse your face off. You felt as if you needed to vomit again, the urge to return to the toilet strong, but you walked away. You left the bathroom, your room, and made your way to Natasha's. You had to see for yourself.
The door was unlocked, which was a good thing for you considering you had left your copy of the key back in your room and you didn't feel like doubling back. You entered the room, still a bit hopeful that all of this was some sort of sick joke. You dug through her room, and she made it easy with how she always kept it clean. A highly trained assassin never leaves behind a mess, or a bra you found stuffed underneath the bed.
Not one of Natasha's.
Not one of yours.
You didn't touch the mysterious bra, turning away from it to try and get the image of it out of your memory, but it was too late. It was permanently engraved, just like picturing Natasha with someone else in this exact bed.
"She would never cheat on you, Y/N, because she loves you too much to do that." Okay, Clint, whatever you say.
You practically ran out of the room, closing the door behind you and leaning against it to regain your posture. This was how your "perfect" four year relationship was going to end? By catching her going behind your back? And don't even have an idea as to where she is to confront her about it! She's probably off with her side whore right now!
You felt sick again, your stomach twisting in a bunch of different ways. You bent over in an attempt to get your stomach to settle before you pissed off maintenance even more by throwing up in the middle of the hallway, your hands using your knees as support.
You shot up, your back a rigid pole as you looked towards the source of your name, relief flooding through you when you watched John stroll up to you. You cleared your throat, instinctively wiping your face only to realize that you had tears running down your cheeks.
"Are you okay?"
"I'm fine," you said. You sucked in a deep breath and stepped away from Natasha's room. "What's up?"
"Training started half an hour ago." Geez, you must seem like a really crappy teacher at this point, constantly missing sessions with your only recruit. "But it seems like you're not doing okay-"
"I said I'm fine," you stated, annoyed. "Let's hit the shooting range." You allowed him to take the lead, following him outside in silence. He didn't dare speak, accepting the gun from your hand when you pulled it out of the locker. "If you shoot a civilian, restart." He nodded as he started shooting the gun.
You watched him, trying your damned hardest not to think about Natasha or the mystery woman she's cheating on you with, but it was so hard not to let your mind wander back in that general direction. Your heart hurt, along with other parts of your body. All this time and effort in the last four years for one relationship, down the drain. You thought she was the one you were going to spend forever with. Now she's the one to give you trust issues.
John finished the shooting range on his second try flawlessly, not a single civilian hit. He reloaded the gun as you told him to do it again. Each gunshot echoed in your head, dulling your senses. You wanted to scream, to cry. You wanted to just… be in Natasha's arms.
What do you do when the person you want comfort from the most is the one who caused your pain?
"Again," you commanded John when he looked at you for guidance, his third time just as perfect as the second. You seemed to be in a vicious cycle with John right now, telling him to do it over and over again as if the results were going to change, as if the last ten times in a row he's done it 100% were just flukes, just lies. He had run out of bullets an hour later, his hands sore and calloused from shooting for sixty minutes straight.
He looked at you, his eyes wide with fear as you stared at the gun, it's empty clips resting to the side, stance tense and muscles locked. He cleared his throat, glancing over his shoulder, before stepping forward. "Y/N?"
You blinked, tearing your eyes away from the bare gun to look at him. You breathed out, your eyes fluttering close to prevent the tears you feel threatening to escape as you sucked in a deep breath. "You're dismissed, John," you said as you breathed out again, listening to John's fading footsteps.
You opened your eyes and found that you were alone. You weren't going to cry. You told yourself you weren't going to cry for a cheater. So, you gathered the vacant gun and moved to the locker, taking out a box of bullets.
You heard someone approach you from behind, but you continued filling the clips for the gun, for the next users.
"How long have you been out here for?" It was Clint. Your jaw clenched as you loaded a full clip into the locker before taking the next empty one.
"An hour." Your answer was curt, hoping he'd take the hint and leave you alone, but he walked closer to you and knew he wasn't getting the clue. Or he was just ignoring it. Either way, it was clear that he wasn't leaving you alone just yet.
"You're not okay." You only managed to load one bullet into the next clip before you slammed it down against the locker at his words, your eyes squeezing shut. Your jaw tightened. "What is it?"
"You lied to me." Your eyes flew open and you turned to look at him. He released a soft breath when he saw your face, your eyes just wanting to let the tears out. "You lied!"
"Y/N, what-"
"You said…" You ran a hand over the top of your head, grabbing onto the back of your neck. You couldn't get the words out, knowing you'll just break if you say them. But the confused, concerned look on Clint right now made you say, "You said that she would never cheat on me, Clint. You said because she loves me too much to do that!" You were right, you broke. You fell to your knees, Clint immediately crouched down, his hand resting on your shoulder in an attempt to console you.
"It's not a lie, Y/N," he said.
You shook your head, looking up at him. "She's cheating on me, Clint! I saw the- the texts! The evi- evidence!" You were crying so bad, you were hiccupping. You moved to sit on your butt, bringing your knees to your chest as his hand slid off your shoulder. 
"No, that doesn't make sense," he argued. He cleared his throat, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. He moved to be in front of you, resting his arms against his knees. "Nat wouldn't do that, Y/N."
"There's hard evidence, Clint!" You shoved him away, desperate to have space so you could just breathe. He sat down a few feet away from you, holding his arms around his knees and watched you. You were quiet for a long while, your eyes staring at an empty spot in the grass. 
He waited patiently, letting you work through your thoughts, hoping you'd see that she would never do this to you. The longer you sat in silence, the more calmed you became. Your sobbing stopped and your hiccups stilled. He sucked in a deep breath and released it slowly, feeling pain for you.
"I… don't know how long it's been going on." When you spoke, your voice was soft. He wanted to comfort you, but he didn't know how. He stayed his distance either way. "I don't even know where she is to… confront her about it."
The last time Clint saw her was sometime yesterday, but only because she was searching for you. He wouldn't be able to help you find her. He has to start training soon, and he wouldn't even know where to begin. If Natasha is nowhere to be found, is it a possibility that you're right? Clint still can't find it within himself to believe that.
"I need… a drink." You climbed to your feet, Clint following your lead 
"Clint, don't." He sighed as you marched past him, placing his hands on his hips as he watched you leave over his shoulder. He'll let you drink, let you numb your thoughts to stop thinking about this situation for a moment, but after… he's going to make you talk about it.
Your face was clean by the time you walked into the living area, immediately making your way to the bar and snagging the closest bottle of alcohol you could reach. Your arms snaked over the bar, digging underneath and grabbing the first glass your fingers touched. You didn't even finish pouring the drink by the time you were swallowing the liquid. Whiskey, what a way to start off.
You were semi aware of someone sliding into the chair next to you, but you had already taken your fifth shot by then and weren't looking too well. You turned your whole body to see who joined you, your heart freezing when you made eye contact with Natasha. "Oh, look," you stated, "the cheater returns."
"Y/N." Even in your drunken state, that voice didn't belong to Natasha. "Maybe you should slow down."
"Maybe you should just leave me alone, Hopkins." You waved her off as you turned back to your drink, refilling the cup and swallowing it within five seconds. "I'm superior. You don't get to tell me what to do, recruit."
She sighed. She wanted you to stop, but she wasn't doing anything to prevent you from continuing hiding your feelings in that bottle of whiskey. If you weren't drunk, you would've questioned that. But you were, so you didn't even acknowledge that. 
"My life is ruined," you continued, filling up your cup once more. You brought the glass to your lips, breathing in the amber liquid swirling around the glass. "The love of my life, Natasha Romanoff, has been cheating on me… for god knows how long." You swallowed the liquid, sucking your teeth as it burned its way down your throat. You breathed out, your shoulders slumping. "How can I want so desperately for her to wrap me up in her arms when she didn't even hesitate to rip my heart out and step on it?" As if your heart was a lit cigarette being squashed underneath a shoe.
Maria sighed, leaning forward. "Hey," she said, gaining your attention, "it's not the end of the world." You rolled your eyes, looking away from her to pour yourself another shot. "I know it feels like that now, but that feeling doesn't last."
You swallowed another shot, slamming the glass into the table and moving to pour one more, but Maria finally decided to intervene. She grabbed the whiskey bottle from you, sliding it away and out of your reach. You leaned forward, arm stretched, and your body rubbed against hers. In the feeling of contact, Maria froze for a moment, feeling that warmth spread through her at your touch. And then she came back to her senses.
If you weren't drunk, you would've seen her add something to the bottle. If you weren't desperately trying to drown your feelings in the dark golden liquid, you would've noticed how quickly she gave in to giving you the bottle back. If you weren't absolutely heart broken, you wouldn't have just taken a shot straight from the bottle.
It didn't take long for whatever drug she used to kick in. The last thing you saw before you passed out was Maria's smiling face.
Maybe it was the fact that you couldn't move your hands, or the fact that your nose was being filled with an unfamiliar smell. It didn't matter. Either way, you woke up to unknown surroundings.
It seemed to have been a bedroom in an old apartment building. The floral wallpaper was peeling off in some parts, revealing the nasty green sitting underneath. There was a door to the left of you and a wooden bi-fold door to the right, a closet. At least the floor was a bit clean, save for… your clothes scattered on the floor, the ones you were wearing last night. Your stomach twisted as you looked down, slightly relieved that you were only wearing a set of pajamas (that weren't yours) but still freaked out at the fact that someone changed you while you were sleeping.
You looked up to see your hands tied to the iron headboard behind you, the knots tight enough to leave burns along your wrist. The room was lit up by the window, no blinds to prevent the room from being in the dark. You opened your mouth to call out for someone, but the door swung open and a smiling Maria entered the room. Her red hair is always going to throw you off, despite the multiple times you said it'll be okay.
"Maria?" You furrowed your eyebrows, more confused now. "What's going on? Did we…" You didn't feel as if you did, but you just wanted to be sure. 
"No," she quickly assured, bringing a glass of water to you. "I love you, Y/N, so I won't do anything to hurt you majorly." She sat down next to you on the bed, moving the glass to your lips. "Drink," she ordered before tipping the cup, forcing you to take a sip. The flavor of the water was not right, the metallic taste left in your tongue after you swallowed it made you cough. 
She offered you a big, kind smile as she placed the glass onto the nightstand. It was as if she was doing nothing wrong, like keeping you tied to a bed in the middle of some room was just another day of the week. Terror is the only thing preventing you from screaming. She had the upper hand here and you didn't know what she'd do with it if you misbehaved. 
You watched as she placed the glass onto the nightstand and turned back to look at you, her fingers delicately swiping your forehead and it took every power within you not to pull away from her. 
"What are you doing?" you asked gently, watching as her lips were pursed together in thought, a soft humming coming from the back of her throat. Her eyes were kind, like she was true to her word and she wouldn't do anything to hurt you, yet you were scared. "Why am I-"
"Shh," she whispered, moving her hand down your face to place a finger against your lips. You were instantly quiet, trying not to let the fear you're feeling show on your face. "I'm going to make you forget." Forget? Forget what?
But you didn't ask. Even when she removed her finger from your lips, standing up off the bed and making her way towards the closet door. She pulled open the bi-fold, blindly reaching in there and your face contorted to pure horror when she pulled Natasha out.
She was still in the same clothes she wore last night, her black, thin strapped tank top and her black shorts. Sweat covered her face, telling you she must've been in that small, hot room for a while. She was silenced by a rag cutting into her mouth, her hands tied behind her back, and blood stained her clothes. You tugged against your restraints as Maria forced Natasha onto her knees, her head barely able to stay upright. Your instinct to make sure Natasha's okay was strong.
"What did you do?"
"What did I do?" Maria rolled her eyes, a daze Natasha obedient at her feet. "I warned you, Y/N. I warned you, but you didn't believe me! And now you're heartbroken because this bitch cheated on you!"
You stared, wide eyed, at Natasha. She seemed so exhausted, like she had just given up. And it killed you to see that. "It's fine," you quickly assured. "I forgive you, Nat. I still love you."
You flinched when Maria banged a fist against the wall, your eyes flashing to her to see the anger on her face. "That's not why we're here, Y/N," she declared. She was struggling to keep her voice even, calm. She clearly didn't want to scare you but it wasn't working. 
"It'll always be Nat," you stated and immediately regretted saying it.
Maria released her hold on the weak Natasha, whipping the back of her hand across your face and you screamed as she fell over, limp. Maria wiped her mouth with the same hand she used to smack Natasha as she stepped towards you. "It's time for you to move on, Y/N." She held her arms out, smiling widely at you, a tense smile. "I have done everything to be the one you need. I will show you the love that she could never show you, the loyalty that she doesn't have! You're mine to love!"
You gripped onto the iron bars of the headboard to prevent the ropes from destroying the skin around your wrists even more, one of your hands pulling away when you felt a sharp pain jolt through your nerves. It seemed like one of the iron bars was deformed, split in the back to create a knife-like edge and an idea started forming in the back of your mind.
Maria sighed, clearly irritated with your silence. "You're going to feel the same," Maria promised. "It's her you want, isn't it?" She scoffed pathetically as she forced Natasha back onto her knees, drawing out a knife from her back. She gripped Natasha's hair roughly, pulling back to make her look up as she placed the tip of the blade against Natasha's jaw, a dribble of blood running down where the knife was digging into. "Why did you even think you love her? Is it her looks? I took her hair, I can take her face."
"No, wait!" Maria froze at your words, her head snapping towards you. Natasha made eye contact with you as you sucked in a shaky breath and released it. "You're right, Maria. I… I love you."
"You're lying," she sneered.
You quickly shook your head. "No, no. I'm not." You swallowed a mouthful of saliva, nervous. If you got this wrong, there's no telling what she'd do. "Ever since… Ever since I laid eyes on you on your very first day, in the lobby, I was in love with you. But I was a fool because I thought I was in love with Nat, so I didn't act on the feelings."
Maria released Natasha, the blade withdrawing from her face and you felt relieved. She gripped the knife tightly in her hand as she looked at you, pondering your words. The only thing she wanted was to believe them. She knew the feelings were there, that you loved her as much as she loved you, she just had to force them out of you.
"But there's no reason for you to hurt Nat," you continued, her eyes narrowing at your new words. You licked your lips. "Nobody deserves to die, Maria. You and I, we could just leave her here. We can walk out those doors together and never look back."
"Say it," Maria demanded, pointing the tip of the blade at Natasha again. "I want to hear you say it to her."
You looked at Natasha, your face stoic. "I don't love you, Nat." It pained you to say it, your stomach twisting at the look in her eye. You cleared your throat, and said it again. "I never loved you. I… I love Maria."
Maria breathed out in relief, satisfied that everything was coming together as planned. She should've figured that you wouldn't want her to kill Natasha despite what she has done because of your big heart. She tucked her knife away, Natasha's posture relaxing a bit next to her. She was happy, excited to have your love. The thing she had spent the last two months yearning. She sighed, heavenly, as she clasped her hands together.
"Where do you want to go?" she questioned. "We have the entire world at our fingertips, baby."
She crossed the room and lay down next to you on the bed, leaning down to plant a kiss on your lips, one you had to make yourself to kiss back. It was just like the one in the maintenance closet, rough, forced. It wasn't intimate, but she didn't feel that. She felt like she was in heaven, the warmth of your touch spreading through her skin like a wildfire. And she was ecstatic to know that she could do this any time she wants to now.
She pulled away from you, her eyes still closed and her heart just losing itself in her chest. Her lips formed a big smile on her face as she slowly opened her eyes, looking at you with love, affection, and a bit of a darkness in there that kind of scared you, but you maintained your face.
"I have something for you," she whispered. "I was going to wait until we left this place, but I just can't wait any longer. Stay here." She booped you on the nose before rolling out of the bed, stepping around Natasha's weak form to leave the room. The second the door closed, you slid the rope against the sharp piece of iron, sawing at it.
Natasha was having trouble staying up, her eyes closing for a long moment before she snapped them open. You wanted to tell her that it's going to be okay, that the words you had said weren't at all true, but you didn't want to risk Maria hearing you.
You felt the rope snap underneath you just as Maria entered the room, your hand stilling as if the rope were still intact. You watched as she held up a small box towards you, making her way to you. Her laugh sent chills up and down your spine and not in a good way, sitting on the bed next to you once again and presented you with the small box, a ring box.
She pulled it open and your mouth parted open slightly at the ring sitting inside the velvet cushion, an engagement ring. "This was what Natasha was doing on that day of her unfortunate accident." She was buying an engagement ring, something she couldn't tell you because proposals are always a surprise. "She was going to leave you and propose to her side piece! But I saved you, Y/N. I sabotaged her bike, I tried to help you sooner! But it's better late than never."
It was all clicking into place now. Even with Maria's contradicting words, you saw the truth. The vacation Natasha wanted to go on was where she was going to propose to you. And although she did have a plan in place, if you had won the bet, she would've made it work. Clint knew, that's why he was in such denial that Natasha was cheating on you. Oh, you're an idiot! She wasn't cheating on you! 
The ring box snapping shut pulled you out of your thoughts, back to the horrifying present. She tossed it over her shoulder, watching it bounce off the wall, losing it when it skittered across the floor. Maria leaned close to you, a bright smile on her face. "I love you, Y/N."
You stared at her, dazed. You had completely forgotten about your role, still thinking about Natasha's proposal. You didn't realize Maria was losing her smile even though you were looking right at her, clenching her fists tightly together.
"Say it back."
"I love you, too," you instantly said, the smile returning to her lips. You leaned towards her and, not being able to help herself, she met you halfway, her lips connecting to yours in a softer kiss than earlier, but it still twisted your stomach.
Her eyes were closed, using this opportunity to snake your free hand around her waist, under her shirt, and you gripped the handle of the knife tucked in her waistband. The next few moments seemed to happen in slow motion, knowing you had to react fast in order to do this.
You slid the knife out from behind her and drove the blade through her abdomen. She seemed to have known it was coming, feeling the moment the knife was sliding out of her pants and only having a moment to react, moving to the side when you stabbed her to prevent anything major inside of her from getting damaged. It didn't matter, you had injured her, slowed her down.
You pushed her away and she stumbled back, immediately focusing your attention on the hand that was still tied to the headboard. She groaned in pain as she slowly pulled the blade out of her, rushing to untie your restraint to be free. And you had just managed to undo the complicated knot before Maria came back to her senses.
You tried to climb out of the bed, but you felt a hand wrap around your ankle and pull you back to her, dragging you across the bed and flipping you into your back, pinning you to the mattress by laying over you, your hands trapped between your bodies as she held the bloody knife to your throat. You swallowed as she stared into your eyes, her bright blues wild, a fire in there that ignited the pain she was feeling, the anger and betrayal.
"I don't want to hurt you," she expressed through a locked jaw, pushing the blade against your throat. Not hard enough to pierce the skin, but hard enough to keep you from disobeying again. "Please, baby, don't make me hurt you." She ran her free hand across your forehead again.
You gritted your teeth, your hands squirming in between your bodies until you felt the warm, sticky liquid coat your skin, finding exactly where her fresh wound was by the feeling of the blood in your hands. You pushed up against her wound and she screamed out in pain, pushing herself away from you.
You quickly got to your feet, kicking her knees out when she bent down to coddle her wound. She fell to the ground, the knife dropping from her hand. The overexertion caused you to stumble forward, having to use the bed as support as you rounded it to make your way to Natasha. You ungagged her, your hands hovering over her face, wanting to touch her but not wanting to wipe Maria's blood on her.
"Are you okay?"
She breathed out when the rag was removed from her mouth, instantly relaxing under at your words as you moved behind her to untie her hands. The second her hands were free, she rested them on your cheeks. "I love you," she whispered, her hands not being able to stay still. "I would never-"
"I know," you interrupted softly, holding onto her wrists. "I'm so sorry I believed it. I should've known that you wouldn't do that to me." You helped each other stand to your feet, your head feeling warm and fuzzy now that Natasha was back in your arms.
She pulled you out of the way at the last moment, blocking the incoming attack from Maria sneaking up behind you. Natasha, although tired, still managed to block Maria's attempt to stab her, grabbing onto her wrist and pushing her armed hand away from her stomach. You stepped forward, the room seeming to grow into a hallway as you did, but you continued anyway, tracking Maria to the ground.
The knife flew from her hand, sliding under the bed as you landed on top of her. Your knee pushed into her abdomen.
"Nat, go," you pleaded through Maria's screams, but you felt her arms wrap around you, tugging you off the psycho.
"Not without you." She pulled you to your feet, assisting each other out of the bedroom and into what looked like to be a living room, though old age and vacancy made the apartment seem unlivable. 
You released Natasha as you stumbled ahead, your hands scrambling to unlock the front door upon reaching it and the wet blood on your hands wasn't making it any easier. You pulled open the door, turning around to reach for Natasha, but freezing when you saw two redheads instead of just the one. You blinked, still having that fuzzy feeling in your head. Were you seeing double?
It took you a moment to realize that no, you weren't seeing double and it was just Maria sneaking up on Natasha. It was definitely the knife raised in the air that made you realize.
"Nat!" The fear in your voice alerted Natasha instantly, spinning around in time to prevent Maria from stabbing the knife in her brain by catching her falling arm. The two redheads struggled as you staggered forward, your vision blurring the women together as they fought. 
Natasha managed to throw Maria over her shoulder, letting out a pained sigh as the perpetrator flew into the coffee table. You finally reached Natasha, grabbing onto her wrist and tugging her back to the door.
The door slammed shut behind you as you exited into the hall, looking both ways, trying to decide where to go.
"We need… We need to…" You breathed out as you almost fell forward. You would've fell to the ground if Natasha wasn't there to catch you, but how she managed to stay on her feet with her injuries was beyond you.
You had thought you were feeling all warm and fuzzy inside because you had Natasha back, but that wasn't the case entirely. The metallic taste of that water Maria made you drink was still on your tongue. She had drugged you once again. Not to be unconscious, but to be obedient. You wondered how well that worked out for her.
"I'm fine," you said, your words slurring together. You held onto Natasha tightly, but when you heard the door start to open behind you, the two of you hurried down a random direction in the hall.
You managed to round the corner before she stepped out of the room.
"She's mine, Romanoff!" Maria's voice echoed through the abandoned building as the two of you hid around the corner, taking an extra breather.
"Come on," you whispered, shaking the blurry edges away from your vision as you looked at Natasha. "Nat."
She lifted her arm up to grab you, her tank top riding up a little to let you see a sliver of her skin, red covering her stomach. You were quick despite the drugs in your system, lifting up the shirt higher to get a view of a fresh wound. Maria must have gotten a good swing on Natasha during that fight.
"You're bleeding," you whispered.
She grabbed your wrist and tore it away from her shirt, letting it fall back down to cover her stomach. "We'll deal with it later," she said. "Let's go." 
You wrapped her arm around her neck and guided her down the hall, both of you stumbling and using the walls as an extra crutch. You were both tired, beaten. And you felt as if you would've just given up if Natasha wasn't here, giving you something to fight for. You could hear Maria calling out for you, her “love", from behind you. And when Natasha stumbled forward without you, she fell to the floor.
Maria was close on your heels, you knew that with how slow the two of you were walking, but when Natasha struggled to get back to her feet, you could hear her voice getting closer and closer as she continued to call out to you.
Natasha waved you off, not even having enough strength to tell you to leave her. Not like you would've done it anyway. And if you couldn't get her to her feet, you had to get her out of the open. The good thing about an abandoned apartment building is that none of the rooms would be locked, pushing open the nearest door and dragging Natasha's body through it.
The door softly closed shut by the time Maria rounded the corner.
You leaned Natasha against the wall beside the door, lifting her shirt once more to eye the knife wound. You had to stop the bleeding.
You looked up at her to see her eyes closed, using a hand to cup her face - getting blood on her was no longer a concern - and shaking her awake. "Keep your eyes opened, baby," you whispered, her green eyes melting into you when her eyes shot open. "Come on, Nat. Stay with me."
She tried to breathe in, faltering with pain, as she said, "I'm not… going anywhere." She sent you a small, weak smile, her eyes sliding close once more until the sound of Maria kicking open doors startled her awake. How did she know you had taken a moment to hide?
You took Natasha's hands and placed them above the wound, forcing her to push down to stop the bleeding. You covered her mouth quickly with your hand to stop her from screaming out. You knew she wasn't going to hold on for long, but it was giving her something to do for now so she wouldn't close her eyes.
You wobbled your way into the kitchen, using the counter as support as you pulled open drawers, searched through the cabinets, desperate to find something to help Natasha all while staying quiet. You whispered under your breath, begging to find anything that could stop her bleeding. You lost your balance, falling to your knees in front of the sink. You pulled open the cabinet in a last ditch effort, feeling a little bit of hope when you saw an old box of trash bags.
You grabbed them, returning to Natasha and ripping one out of the box. Her eyes opened when she felt your presence, moving her hands away and wrapping the trash bag around her, tightening it. It wasn't much, but at least it'd slow the bleeding.
You stood up, preparing to bring Natasha to her feet, but you were thrown back when the door was kicked in right in front of you. Pain shot through your shoulder, making you seethe as you quickly climbed back to your feet. You looked up in time to see Maria march into the room, making a beeline right for you. You tried lifting your arm, but the pain that jolted through your body prevented you from using it, leaving only one arm to fend with.
Maria was swinging her knife in large arches as she neared you, anger behind every swing. "I told you not to make me hurt you, Y/N," she said, her voice surprisingly disappointed for someone who seems so angry. “I don’t want to hurt you!”
She continued toward you, causing you to walk back to avoid getting hit by the blade she was swinging around. You tripped over something, the pain in your shoulder ripping through your body as you fell to the floor, the back of your head greeting it with a thud. You groaned in pain, unable to fight her off of you as she sat on your chest, your breath catching in your throat as she unintentionally put pressure against your shoulder.
"I can't believe you're making me do this to you," she said, sad. Her eyes were coated with unshed tears and you were having a hard time figuring out if they were sad or angry tears. "But you must learn your lesson. You have to know your place, Y/N."
She pulled down the collar of your shirt, pressing the blade against your collarbone. She looked upset as she dug the tip of the knife last your skin, causing you to wince. This was okay. As long as her attention wasn't on Natasha, this was okay. 
Blood dripped down your skin as she drew the knife across, leaving a long mark on your chest. It wouldn't leave a scar, it wasn't that deep, but in the moment, it felt like she was marking her territory.
"I'm doing this because I love you," she said soothingly. Your vision blacked out around the edges as she picked up the knife and moved to another location, drawing a second line into your skin. "I'm doing this because I want to protect you."
Tears silently rolled down your cheeks as she continued her torture, the pain in your shoulder and her pinning your arms to your sides left you unable to fight back. 
"I'm going to give you a mark for each time you denied your feelings for me." That's going to be a lot of marks. "But don't worry, baby," she said, lightly dragging the blade against your cheek as she shushed you softly, "I won't let them be permanent." She moved the knife back down to your chest, adding a third mark.
You were suddenly able to breathe, Maria being pulled off of you when a trash bag was wrapped around her throat, yanking her back. You fell into a coughing fit, fighting against the pain so you could see Maria tangled in Natasha's legs, pulling the trash bag around her throat as tight as she possibly could. You fell forward when you started walking, using your hands to catch yourself. You made your way to the women, catching Maria's hand in time to prevent her from stabbing Natasha with the knife. You pried the weapon from her hand.
"You might… as well kill… me," she struggled to say through her choking. Natasha eased the strangulation, her legs holding her tightly prisoner. Maria desperately caught her breath, her pink face returning to normal color. "I'm never going to stop until I get you, Y/N," she promised.
You pointed the blade at her as Natasha unwrapped her legs. "Get up," you ordered, but she continued to lay there.
Maria smiled at you. "That drug still in your system?"
You ignored her, Natasha climbing to her own feet and forcing Maria to stand. You blinked, but it seemed like forever for your eyes to reopen. You sighed as Natasha searched her pockets, pulling out a cellphone. 
In the moment it took her to pick up the trash bag intended to be used as restraints, Maria ran forward. You didn't have time to react as she ran at you, the knife plunging deep into her stomach when she made it to you.
Her blue eyes slowly dimmed, a smile crossing her features to reveal the blood-stained teeth, a drop of blood falling out of her mouth and down her chin. Your eyebrows pinched together in confusion, your hand leaving the blade of the knife as she leaned forward. "Why?" She didn't have to die.
"I told… you," she breathed, her inhales raspy. "You might as… well kill me. Years without... you is like… death anyway."
She fell to her knees, a smile still on her face as you stumbled back, falling to the ground as she fell forward. The light faded from her eyes, tears streaming down your face. Natasha fell down on her way to you, reaching out to you, but the smile Maria was sending you, even in death, would forever haunt your nightmares.
17 days after training
The sun hit your skin, warmth flooding through you as the pelicans squawked somewhere in the skies above you. The waves crashed down, people around you enjoying themselves - children making sandcastles, parents too busy taking pictures of the ocean to focus on their spawns, surfers trying to hit the gnarly waves - but the only person that mattered to you, in this moment, just joined you on the blanket.
She planted a kiss on your cheek as she handed you a bottle of water, but you turned your face so you could catch her lips in a kiss, her smile breaking it. She grabbed onto your left hand, bringing it up so she could marvel at the ring resting on your ring finger. You laughed, tugging your hand away from her so you could open your water.
"Why do you keep looking at it, Nat?" you questioned, grinning as you shook your head. 
"Because you said yes and it feels like a dream." You laughed again as she crawled to you, locking in another kiss and only pulling a part when you heard a couple children express their disgust at your PDA, causing the two of you to laugh.
The remainder of your recruits graduated training seventeen days ago. Clint came in last, even with both of his recruits, and you had to confess your little lie you had fed his recruits. When he tried to get you disqualified, you used John's information against him and called him out for sabotaging you for years. Natasha came in first, but only because you told John to let Griggs win. You wanted to go on her vacation, see what she had planned.
She proposed a couple nights ago, right in front of the Eiffel Tower, and the two of you enjoyed the engagement phase by spending the nights in between in your hotel room together, tangled limbs in bed. Now, you had decided to greet the outside world once again and enjoy a day on the beach.
After the Maria incident, which took place over a month ago, you took yourself off as a trainer. John Nolan will be your last ever trainee in your SHIELD career. You were strictly sticking to operations. And Natasha grew her hair out, went as far to dye it blonde. You told her she didn't have to, but you were secretly relieved when she came out of the bathroom one day with long, blonde hair over her short, red hair, which is forever ruined thanks to Maria. She couldn't stand looking at herself in the mirror with her old hairdo, not being able to see anybody but Maria.
You still get nightmares about it, though not as much. So does Natasha. Sometimes, you even wake up screaming, but it didn't matter because she was always there when it got bad. Just like you were always there for her. It was hard to get that smiling face out of your head, and you would have gone absolutely nuts if Natasha wasn't here to share the pain with you. She was patient, walking with you every step of the way to recovery. And you wouldn’t have it any other way.
“What’re you thinking about?” Her voice pulled you out of her thoughts, slowly blinking as you refocused on her face. A small smile rested on her lips, but the look in her eyes told you that she had some sort of idea what was playing on your mind right now. Like a broken record. It was hard not to think about it, the traumatizing moment. You had almost died, she had almost died. You don’t know what you would’ve done if she had died, the doctors at the time didn’t even know how she managed to stay alive after everything was all said and done. She was a fighter and she has the scars to prove it.
“I was just thinking,” you started, pulling her against you and laying down on the blanket, melting into the sand, “about what to get for lunch.”
She rested her head against your shoulder as you held her, staring up into the sky as your fingers played with her blonde strands of hair, your muscles relaxing underneath her weight. She sighed peacefully, content. The love between the two of you is stronger and indestructible. Impenetrable. And you had made a mental promise to yourself that when Natasha says someone has a crush on you, no matter how small, that you were going to steer clear from them. Because you were hers to love, just as much as she was yours.
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myaimistrue · 7 months ago
“You can come in, creep.”
Dean jolts a little, not realizing that Eileen could see him standing in the doorway. She turns to look at him with that grin of hers on her face, bright and mischievous and sweet, and motions him inside. 
He walks in slowly, not wanting to disturb the peaceful feeling in the room. Eileen’s alone, standing in front of a full-length mirror, critically eyeing her appearance. He’d been watching her do that when she called him out, thinking, look at my sister. Look at my incredible, beautiful, badass sister. 
Dean positions himself behind her in the mirror so she can read his lips as he talks. He clumsily tries to sign along; he’s definitely getting better, but his signs are nothing like Sam’s careful movements or the way they just seem to flow out of Cas and Eileen’s hands—it’s a learning process, he reminds himself. “Are you nervous?”
Eileen shakes her head firmly. She speaks as she signs for his benefit. “I’ve never been less nervous about anything in my life.”
“Good.” He watches as she smooths out the skirt of her dress for the umpteenth time, admiring the way it shimmers slightly in the midafternoon sunlight coming in through the window. It’s a pale, pale shade of green that Eileen had laughed about being very appropriate for a St. Patrick’s Day wedding. “You look beautiful.”
“Thank you.” She turns to look at him, and he’s startled to realize that there are tears in her eyes. He’s alarmed, and goes straight into big brother mode, reaching out to touch her shoulder, to hug her, to something, but she catches both of his hands and gently brings them down. “Can I tell you something, Dean?”
“Sure.” Internally, he’s panicking. What if she’s going to bail? It seems unlikely, seems crazy, but crazier things have happened in their lives, that’s for fucking sure.
Eileen must see it on his face, and she smiles, softer than usual. “It’s not anything bad.”
“Oh. Okay.” 
“I wanted to—” She stops short, hands hesitating in front of her, tears still shining in her eyes. Dean watches her carefully. He’s got a hunch that this conversation is going to end with him crying, too; he thought he’d at least last until the ceremony started, but it looks like he’ll be a goner before the wedding even kicks off. “I love Sam. I love Sam more than anybody I’ve ever loved.”
And Jesus, that knocks the wind out of him already. “I know you do.”
“He’s everything to me. And I know…” Eileen takes a steadying breath, voice wavering a little. “I know how hard you’ve fought to keep him safe, to keep him happy. I know what Sam means to you. I know what you mean to him.”
There goes Dean. He clears his throat, willing himself not to start actually weeping, but he’s close. 
Eileen smiles a watery smile. “Dean, you raised a great man. And I want you to know, you don’t need to worry about him, not with me. We have each other’s backs. I’m going to look out for him, now, and he’s going to look out for me. You don’t have to worry.”
Before she can say anything else, Dean’s got his arms around her and pulls her into what he’d worry would be a bone-crushing hug if it was anybody but Eileen—he knows she’s used to the particularly intense ways the Winchesters show affection. She tucks her head under his chin, arms tight around his waist. They stand there for a moment, breathing in time and crying together. Then, Dean presses a kiss to the top of her head and pulls back. Eileen’s eyes are red, but she looks just as beautiful.
“I’ve never had to worry about Sam with you,” He says, voice cracking a little as he does. “You’re so good for him, Eileen, and he’s good for you. You’re good together.” And then he cracks a grin. “You’ve been part of the family for forever now, anyway. Couldn’t get rid of you even if I wanted to.”
Eileen laughs a little. “Yeah, I’m tricky like that.”
They look at each other, smiling and crying and being way too sappy for the most badass members of the family, and then Eileen pulls him into another fierce hug. Dean once wondered how the hell somebody so small could ever match up to his sasquatch of a brother; it didn’t take long for him to realize that she could kick either of their asses easily.
“You need to get out of here,” Eileen says, tears beginning to dry and her typical playful wit returning to her. “I don’t know if you know, but I’m getting married today.”
“Yeah, I heard. To some kind of eight foot tall, shaggy-haired jackass? You could do better.” Dean winks, and Eileen rolls her eyes. “Alright, alright, I’m getting the hell out. Sam is gonna be looking for me anyway.” Then he pauses, thinking of his own marriage to Cas, how weird it felt to be sequestered from one another in the moments before they finally, finally were together forever. “Want me to pass along any messages?”
Eileen seems to think about it for a moment, a really sweet expression of absolute love on her face, before saying, “I’ve got one, but I don’t know if you want me to tell you. It’s pretty dirty.”
Dean pulls a face. “Okay, gross.”
Eileen laughs, a lovely, joyful sound. “Just tell him I love him, and I’ll see him out there.”
“Aye-aye, captain.” He grins at her, and tries to memorize the way she looks in that moment, how excited he feels for her and Sam, the moment they’re having together right now. Not for the first time in the last few months, he wonders how the hell he and Sam got so lucky.
“I love you, Eileen,” he adds, because he’s the kind of guy who can just say that to people now.
“You’re getting soft, Dean.” But Eileen grins back, and with the utmost care, signs, “I love you, too.”
He has to leave before he pulls her into another hug and they both start crying again. She’s right—he really is getting soft. But, he thinks to himself with a smile, they all are, these days.
cross-posted on my ao3 here
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kirishimaswife2819 · 9 months ago
When Their S/o is on Their Period || BNHA Boy Headcanons
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Pairings: Izuku Midoriya x Fem!Reader, Katsuki Bakugou x Fem!Reader, Eijiro Kirishima x Fem!Reader, Shoto Todoroki x Fem!Reader, and Denki Kaminari x Fem!Reader
Summary: How the boys act when you’re on your period
Word Count: 1.6k
A/n: I wrote this because my period is supposed to come in like two days and I am not very excited at all. Anyway, I hope you like these headcanons, and requests are still open and all that, just read the rules first. Also, thanks for everyone who has liked/reblogged any of my posts or even followed me, I really appreciate it. Hope you all have a great day/night! :) -Danielle <3
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Izuku Midoriya:
If you don’t tell him ahead of time that you’re going to be on your period and you snap at him he’s gonna get so upset
Like he’s going to think about every little thing that happened for the past few weeks and try to see where he went wrong
Then when you tell him you’re on your period, he’s going to just freeze, and then start to panic
His face gets all red, but he still asks if you if you need anything
If you send this boy to the store to get pads/tampons, expect him to be gone for a solid few hours
When he firsts gets to aisle, he stands there, because he knows absolutely nothing about pad/tampons, and he doesn’t know what brand to get
So then, he takes out his phone and starts typing, and trying to do research, but google isn’t helping him decide what to get at all
So, then the nice old lady restocking the shelves, offers to help, noticing how he’s panicking
He still ends up getting a few different brands, but that’s okay
If you get bad cramps, like really bad, he’s definitely going to cry
He hates seeing you in pain
If you are having cramps he’ll give you some medicine he bought and offer you a heating pad
After he gets you feeling a little better, he’s going to give you all the snacks he got you and offer to cuddle and watch whatever you want with him
Overall, even though he gets really embarrassed about it, he’ll still help you if you need him to
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Katsuki Bakugou:
If you snap at him, he’s going to like brush it off, but after the second or third time he’s going to go off on you
But once you tell him you’re on your period he’s going to be so confused
Not because he doesn’t know what it is, but because he has no clue what he’s supposed to do about it
He’ll apologize for going off on you
By apologize I mean that he’ll mumble sorry under his breath so that you can barely hear it
But I mean it’s Bakugou, so just take what you can get
He probably wouldn’t offer to go anywhere to get you anything
But if you ask him, he’ll go (Only after complaining the whole time getting ready to leave though)
He’s going to make sure you tell him what brand of pads/tampons to get so he doesn’t have to embarrass himself in front of people in the store
If the cashier says one word about him buying them or gives him a weird look, he’s going to get very pissed
“They’re for my girlfriend, now stop giving me weird ass looks and comments and just scan the damn things!”
He’ll probably end up grabbing more snacks or chocolate than you asked for but if you ask why he did that, he’s going to say it was a total accident, even though it wasn’t
After he brings you the stuff he’ll just crash in your bed, and demand cuddles
But he won’t ask, he’ll just pull you to him and cuddle you
The first time you’re on your period around him, he’s pretty embarrassed but hides it, but with time, he gets used to it and it doesn’t bother him anymore
Although no matter if he’s sixteen and buying pads/tampons for you or seventy and buying pads/tampons for you, he’s still going to end up yelling at the poor cashier, even if they don’t comment or give him a look
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Eijiro Kirishima:
I may be a bit biased because I absolutely love Kirishima (if you couldn’t tell), but I am convinced that he would be the best boyfriend in every way
And that includes when you’re on your period
If you snap at him, he’s going to get a little upset, but immediately ask what’s wrong and try to figure out what the issue is
After you tell him, he’s going to panic but hide it so he doesn’t alarm you
Immediately offers to go get you anything you need
But he’s so eager to help you out, he forgets to ask what brand of pads or tampons to buy 
So now he’s in the feminine hygiene product aisle, standing next to some twelve year old girl whose low key too embarrassed to grab a box of pads in front of some teenage boy
So she’s just standing there, waiting for him to leave, but he’s trying to figure out which box to buy, so he’s like looking at all of them and picking them up, trying to figure out the difference between all of them
And the girl goes to quickly grab a box and run off, but then he speaks
“Wait, can you help me?”
And the girl low key just wants to disappear right then and there, but she helps him anyway
This man walks away with a few different brands of pads/tampons in his arms not realizing he just traumatized some little girl by asking her for advice on getting his girlfriend pads/tampons
Then he grabs you some snacks, medicine, and whatever else you wanted, before checking out and leaving
He like rushes home because he was taking so long and he was worried about you
But when he like bursts into your room, you’re literally fine, and just chilling eating some stale chips, and watching some Netflix
Kirishima immediately takes away your stale chips, and gives you the stuff he bought
So now you guys are eating the new and not stale chips while binge watching your favorite Netflix show for the fiftieth time
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Shoto Todoroki:
I only have three words: Human Heating Pad
But seriously, if you have cramps, and you tell him heat helps, he’s definitely going to offer for you to use his hand as a heating pad
Once he learns that you’re on your period, he’s going to try his best to help, but he knows nothing about them despite having a sister
After taking a moment to compose himself after initial shock of you telling him, he’s going to offer to go to the store for you
So, now he’s in the aisle, trying to figure out what brand to get
He had tried calling you, but you must of been napping, because you didn’t pick up
Eventually he decides to call his sister and ask for some help
His sister proceeds to tell him about pads and tampons and how they work
He ends up writing some of the stuff down in his notes on his phone so he knows for next time and doesn’t forget
Then he’ll get whatever else you want
He’ll probably end up grabbing something extra too
Like a little gift such a plushie or a necklace, since he now knows periods really suck
He ends up getting you a gift every time your on your period (with Endeavor’s credit card of course), so it kind of morphs into a little tradition even though you insist that he doesn’t need to do it
But once he returns to home, you apologize for not answering, since you were in fact napping, but he quickly shuts you down and gives you everything he had got for you
Then you use his hand as your personal heating pad and talk about your lives
Overall, he’s pretty calm about the situation, and doesn’t make it a bigger deal than it needs to be
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Denki Kaminari:
When you snap, or if you snap, he’s probably just going to brush it off
But the second time you snap at him, he makes some dumb remark
Probably something like, “Damn is it that time of the month or something?”
That gets him a textbook to his face
He’s honestly surprised with your response to his question
“Actually, yeah! Asshole! Now, if you’re gonna be a jerk, get the hell out and leave me alone!”
He was only joking and didn’t expect you to actually say yes
After you admit that you being on your period is the problem, he doesn’t know what to do
He knows the basics of a period, he knows you bleed, and like chocolate, and you sometimes get cramps, but other than that he has no idea how to handle the situation
After a moment of trying to figure out what to do, he asks if you need anything
Now he’s in the store, trying to figure out what a ‘flow’ is, and why pads and tampons are so expensive
He ends up calling Kirishima to come help, who has no clue what to do either
Then they turn it into a group call by adding Bakugou and Sero
Bakugou calls them ‘fucking stupid’ but doesn’t know shit about periods either so when they ask him for help he makes up some excuse for not telling Kaminari what to do
Sero is actually helpful and tells him to just get one of each type of flow, since Kaminari refuses to call you and ask (R.I.P. Kaminari’s wallet)
Kaminari thanks him, and then they end the call
Then he gets whatever else you asked for, before heading home
When he gets there, he awkwardly hands you the bag and asks if you need anything else
When you say you want him to stay, he’s immediately jumping into your bed and cuddling with you
He thought since you were on your period, you wouldn’t want to be around him and it low key made him kind of sad, cause he would miss you
Then you guys spend the rest of the night scrolling through Tik Tok, and laughing along to videos
At some point, you end up seeing the thing girls do on Tik Tok where they ask their boyfriend’s how pads work
When Kaminari continues watching the video, and learns how pads actually work, he’s like turns to you and is like
“Wait, the sticky part doesn’t stick to your vagina?”
Somebody please help this poor idiot
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c-is-for-circinate · 5 months ago
As promised: let's talk Hades, and how acts of abuse can create toxic environments for everyone around them, and also how people react to those environments--and to them being disrupted.
(For reference, I have just kicked Theseus's ass for the first time, it was exactly as satisfying as it was intended to be, and then I got predictably slaughtered a couple of chambers into Styx. Spoilers for everything through that point, but please no spoilers in reblogs/comments for anything after that!) Also, TW for a whole lot of discussion of abuse, particularly verbal and emotional abuse, and abusive familyworkplace dynamics.
Okay, so. To start out with, Hades is an abusive parent. He engages in innumerable acts of verbal and emotional abuse towards his son, because yep, that's what you call it when a parent constantly berates and belittles their kid for every perceived failure, including the ones the parent themselves could have prevented. Sometimes especially the ones the parent could have prevented. Zagreus failed at his office clerk job because Hades refused to teach him how to do it and then blamed him for not already knowing how. Cerberus tore up the lounge because Hades, who was actually there, chose not to stop him. Hades created, possibly deliberately, and then took full advantage of every opportunity he saw to insult and demean his kid, and the clerk job flashback shows us that he was doing so even before the escape attempts started. I'm pretty sure we're all on the same page here, but: yep, that all constitutes abuse, even if they're gods. Even if Hades has reasons for Being Like That. Even if you think Zagreus seems okay and unharmed by it (which: repeatedly throwing yourself into a gauntlet of violence that inevitably ends in your own pain and death because you're so desperate to escape home, not actually an indicator of someone who's okay). We all good on that?
Cool. Because I'm not really here to talk about how Hades' abuse directly impacts Zagreus right now (although there's for sure an essay in that too). I'm thinking about how it impacts everybody else.
Hades isn't as obviously unreasonable with anybody else in his kingdom the way he is with his kid. When we see him lecture somebody else, it's usually for an actual failure to do their job: Hypnos for literally falling asleep on the job and not doing anything that was assigned to him, Megaera for letting us past her so many time, Orpheus for being a court bard who refuses to sing. His attitude is super confrontational and unpleasant, but on the surface it doesn't necessarily look as fucked-up. Thing is, though, whether any individual act of aggression towards an employee/family member is justified or not (I would generally argue 'not', because aggression towards employees/family members is, y'know, not justifiable)--it's not about the individual acts. It's about the entire cultivated atmosphere of toxicity and abuse.
One of the very first things Meg ever says to us is, "I'd rather be on your bad side than his." Up until that point, we've got no reason to believe Meg has any history whatsoever of fucking up at her job. In fact, we've got plenty of reason to believe she's good at it. She's fiercely proud of it, she's frequently Employee Of The [Time Period], and we've apparently never even met her sisters because she handles her shit herself. But she's still scared of Hades. Dusa, who is an anxious wreck at all times because oh god what if she gets fired what if she gets fired what if she gets fired, in spite of apparently being absolutely exemplary at her job, is scared of Hades. Every single shade in the Hall is clearly terrified of Hades, and it's not because of what he's done to each of them. It's what they've seen him do to other people.
Which is how toxic environments work, whether they're work environments or families. The Court of Hades is of course both, always, with the bonus hell layer of you can't quit even if you DIE. An abuser in authority doesn't have to target you in order to make you feel scared, cowed, and desperate to please them. Humans (and gods who are basically extra-powerful humans) are good at learning by example. The residents of the Court get the picture.
So this Court is a minefield--and everyone except Zagreus is very good at tiptoeing around mines. We see it in Meg, so desperate to do her job well. We see that Hypnos very clearly does not give a shit about anything, but he still makes sure to have a list of excuses ready if/when Hades ever confronts him about failure to do his job, just in case. We see it when Achilles tells us that my ability to help you is constrained by the authority your father gives me, or whatever the line was sixty runs ago when he couldn't let me into locked chambers. The system, such as it is, works, and if Nyx talks to Hades as little as possible, if Thanatos avoids the Court entirely, if Achilles treads very carefully and knows how to keep his head down--well that's just the system, right? That's just how things are.
Even Zagreus seems to have had a role in that system as the court fuckup. He's the kid who didn't have a real job or purpose. He could take the focus of Hades' generalized, day-to-day ire off of everyone else, without triggering some of the more direct and violent ire because the work he was doing didn't really matter (a LOT of Hades' rage-triggers seem to be related to job performance, which means that the people with real jobs are of course the most at risk). And he could do so "safely" (big emphasis on the quotation marks there) because he alone of the court is Hades' actual kid, who's Prince of the Underworld no matter how much he fucks up. If one of Nyx's other kids gets something really really wrong, she might be able to protect them from some consequences, but Hades doesn't have any layer of supposed parental affection holding him back from getting violently furious about it. Zagreus gets a nice bedroom and the abuse is limited to words rather than divine power, and Hades is a dick to everyone but he only occasionally condemns people to eternities of torture, and only for good reasons like refusing to sing when your job is to be court bard, so it's fine, everybody's fine, everything's totally fine, right?
Except it's not fine when everybody is so clearly worried about anything going wrong. And it's especially not fine for Zagreus, who's the person to finally say no. He's leaving, for his own sake, because he deserves better and he's finally convinced he can have it. And that turns the whole system into disarray.
I am endlessly fascinated by the ways this game portrays different characters reacting to this upheaval in their carefully-mapped minefield. It's different for authority figures and peers and servants, different based on how people are positioned in the house under Hades' rule, and it's so spot-on and I love it.
Nyx, for instance, is absolutely calm about the whole thing, because Nyx has power. Hades can't hurt her. Hades can't even really do much against her children, not when Hypnos and Thanatos are gods in their own right. Yes, Hades rules the kingdom, but Nyx owns the land, and she gives no shits about his rages. And it's interesting, too, to see the lines she doesn't draw. The deal seems to be that Hades doesn't fuck with her, and doesn't outright threaten her kids (because Hypnos is bad at his job, demonstrably so, and Hades hasn't ruined him yet), and she doesn't interfere with the way he treats the people around him. She gives Zagreus advice and support and the mirror, but she also doesn't take a direct stand against Hades. He can't hurt her, but he could make life...difficult. She's protected, her position in the minefield is more of a safe viewing platform than slogging through the middle of it, but the mines are still there.
And then we have Achilles, who is one of my favorite characters in the whole game because of how he reacts to this whole situation. Achilles, like Nyx, is so supportive. Every single time you see him he has something encouraging to say. He gives us his Codex, secretly finds us weapons, trained us for years, clearly wants us to succeed. And still he's limited, not necessarily out of fear for himself (though he has to be scared for himself, he knows what Hades does to people who anger him), but out of concern that if he gives Zagreus too much help in one way, he won't be able to provide help at all later. He's still so careful.
Achilles and Nyx are so fucking important to this story because they're the only authority figures Zagreus really has in his life except for his father, and they are so supportive. They're what keep this story from being a nightmare of psychological horror and depression. They can't stop the pressure from Hades and this life in his house being miserable for Zag, but they can give us hope, remind us that Zagreus is still loved. And they have such an incredibly important role when it comes to guilt, which is one of the biggest ways toxic systems maintain themselves.
If Zagreus leaves, what happens to everybody else? Who takes Hades' wrath then? Who becomes court scapegoat if he's not there, and also, who gets punished for his escape? These questions matter, and we see him worry about it! He asks Nyx and Achilles both, is it going to be okay that you're helping me, are you going to be alright, will my father hurt you for this? And they are both so firm about telling him no. No, I will be fine. See, here's the list of reasons about why I'm going to be fine, why my position in this minefield is secure. They make a point of telling us that it's fine, that we do not need to hold ourself back from getting out of this abusive situation for their sake. That is instrumental in Zagreus's ability to keep making these escape attempts without feeling too guilty and worried and selfish to go on. (Another thing that's actually really important in setting up that dynamic--we see that Hades cares about Cerberus, even if he's using him as a pawn against us, and Cerberus seems to be the one figure in court who Hades doesn't get mad at. The dog isn't at risk, and that is really essential in keeping the story from getting too grim.) These people who we care about refuse to let themselves be held hostage to secure our good behavior.
It's also really useful for raising the stakes later in the story--we see Hades arguing with Nyx once or twice, and we see Zagreus feeling guilty about it, but it's also a sign that we're making enough progress to piss him off. After I finally made it out of Elysium on my last run, I came home to find him furious with Achilles in a way that actually makes me nervous, because Achilles does not have nearly as much security in his position as he says he does. (Achilles is such a good teacher/authority figure, because he knows goddamn well what Hades could do to him, and still refuses to let fear for his own situation stop him from helping the abused kid under his care escape his. And no, not everybody has the capacity to do that, but it matters so much coming from the guy who helped raise us. It matters so much. I do not even have the words for how much.)
It's also no mistake that many of the people we find supporting us along our journey are either the people with the most power in their immediate environment, or the least. Sisyphus helps us because what more could they do to me than this? Orpheus is a little wild around the eyes and somewhat disconnected from reality, and he wishes us the best because someone should get what they want and also he no longer gives a single fuck what happens to him. Eurydice has her own cozy little corner of Asphodel, as safe from Hades' rage as anybody anywhere in his realm because she's tucked in such an out-of-the-way middle place she's outside his notice. Dusa is so scared of everything anyway that, crush aside, she isn't any more threatened by us escaping than she is just by her everyday life here. Charon is unfathomable and unstoppable; Skelly literally exists to be a punching bag, and yet he also seems basically immune to pain, no matter what we do to him. There's no threat from Hades there.
So the people most at risk when I flip the world on its ear are the ones who have so much standing that they have something to lose, but not enough to protect them from losing it. Which of course brings us to Than and Meg--who are, of course, the two people who also seem by far the most upset by my attempts to leave.
As authority figures, Nyx and Achilles are constantly reinforcing the message that it's Hades' fault, not ours, if they or anybody else get caught in the crossfire of his wrath. I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing, and it's not my guilt to bear. From Megaera and Thanatos, we get the opposite message--I am fucking with things, I am hurting people, and I need to stop. Zagreus isn't just abandoning them, as a friend or brother or lover or all of the above they're Greek gods who even knows. He's betraying them. They were in this together, as friends or lovers or whatever, but now Zagreus is sending earthquakes through the minefield they both still have to stand in. He is about to capsize this boat in the middle of a thunderstorm, he is fucking with the system, and they're the ones who are going to get most hurt.
I'm so curious how this is going to work for Than, who out of everyone we meet holds the closest role to Nyx's in terms of being sheltered from Hades' wrath. He's the guy who gets to leave, after all, even though he always has to come back. I've seen the least of him out of anybody so far because it took forever for me to get to Elysium, but two things really stand out and I'm so interested to see where they go. One, he really genuinely does care about Zagreus. He wants us safe, he wants us unhurt, the accessory he gives us only grants its bonus if we clear a room without taking injury, he keeps showing up to help. And two, he wants us to give up and go back and recognize how good we had it. Which is SO fucking interesting, considering how miserable Zagreus so clearly was, and how legitimate his reasons for being miserable were.
It makes me wonder so much about Than's standards for comparison. Does he know something we don't about what's waiting for us on the surface, something that might theoretically hurt Zagreus even more than staying down below? Has his life, which apparently allows him more freedom than anybody else in the Court, sucked horribly in ways we haven't seen, and that's why he spends so little time there in the first place? Either of those things is plausible, both of those things are plausible, and yet either one leads to this sense of patronizing, because he refuses to simply tell us. If something terrible is awaiting us, don't give us vague warnings, tell us what it is and let us decide for ourself! If you're fucking jealous because we might get out entirely and you're still stuck coming back here, say so. If you're worried about your mom--and he does bring her up, how could Zagreus turn his back on her like that, does seem to worry for her--then let's have an actual conversation about how many times she has insisted I do this and also how much I love her.
And, right, it's clear that a lot of Thanatos being upset is simply, you were going to leave me without even saying goodbye, you want to leave ME, which is understandable! But, like, he is demonstrably the one god who gets to visit the surface. He's the one person we actually COULD expect to see again. And he is absolutely also upset because there's an Order To Things, and we're fucking it up. We used to be his careless callow reckless friend who could talk back to Hades and get away with it, and now we're not, and everything is changing and we might leave him altogether, and we might leave him alone in that court without us, and he hates it.
Is it a short-sighted, selfish fear on his part? Yes, absolutely. Even if he's not scared of Hades on his own behalf, he is still frightened by what happens if we upset this system--and maybe it's the sanctity of a much bigger system than the Underworld that he's worried about! Maybe it's the whole divine and cosmic order. Whatever system he wants so badly to protect is enabling the abuse Zagreus has been dealing with for however-long he's been alive. Whatever system he wants so badly to protect OUGHT to be overturned, or at least shaken up. But this is what toxic systems DO. They convince the people within them that they have to be maintained, that a broken system that hurts the people within it is far better than no system at all, that changing the world is too scary and too dangerous. And Thanatos wants his whatever-Zagreus-is-to-him to be there, because he loves him and also because that's how the world works, and those things are all tangled up in one another, and that is how relationships are in a messed-up family like this so therefore I love it.
And Meg. Meg, the best for last, my dear, beautiful, furious, bitter, scared angry tired girl. I adore her. I am absolutely never going to date her, because the thing Zagreus needs most in his life hurts her, more directly than anybody else in the story, and that sucks, and it's not Zag's fault but they still shouldn't be together. Meg has taken more injury from this situation than anyone, quite literally as well as metaphorically, and it's not her fault any more than it's ours, but oh boy it has made her lash out and it's awful and it's perfect.
Meg's place in the Court of Hades is unique because she's not dead, not a mortal, not anything other than a god--but she's also not family. Nyx is not her mother. She's very much part of this system, she and her two sisters belong to Hades-the-realm and therefore also Hades-the-king, she can't leave, but she also doesn't have that protection of Nyx watching out for her in the same way. She's not royalty. She and her sisters (if you ask Hesiod instead of Virgil, which seems to be the interpretation the game's going with here) sprang from the blood of maimed Uranus at the same time as Aphrodite, but fuck knows Aphrodite isn't claiming them as siblings. And she can't be fired, exactly, but she sure can be demoted, and she sure can be made miserable in her job. Meg is vulnerable in a way very few people in Hades' employ are. She's a lot harder to do away with than any one random shade, but she's also a lot harder to miss blending in with a crowd.
What's more, she's the one person in this whole mess who is specifically tasked with stopping us from leaving. Hypnos isn't ordered to put us to sleep and keep us in our room. Thanatos can't be compelled or punished if he doesn't hunt us down. Achilles isn't told to lock us up and keep the keys. Meg is the one stationed at the doorway to Tartarus to keep us in. Meg is the one who gets in trouble when we leave. Meg (who Hades knows goddamn well Zagreus cares for, or cared for, who he absolutely knows we used to date) is the one who has to fight us again and again and again. And she's the one who keeps dying.
Again, it's this incredibly fucked-up guilt/hostage situation deliberately designed to keep people from fleeing abusive situations. Meg's insistence on fighting us now puts Zagreus in the position of having to hurt her himself again and again. Now suddenly we're the ones sticking a sword in our ex-girlfriend. Now suddenly someone can point to our desire to leave, to flee, to escape, and say, how selfish. How cruel. How terrible of us to want to go, when we're even willing to hurt the people we love to do it.
Except, right: Hades is the one who demands Meg stand there and stop us. Hades is the one who puts both of us in that position. Meg is also in an abusive situation, and she's willing to hurt us to protect herself. "I'd rather be on your bad side than your father's." It's easy to blame her at the start for being complicit, for being a tool of our father's abuse, for being on his side. It gets harder as the game goes on. I've killed her so many times. There's no way for her to beat me. She knows at this point that she can't beat me. She still fights, every single time, still throws herself upon that spike, not because she thinks she has any chance of stopping me but because she is so damn scared of what will happen if she doesn't try.
In fact, Meg's the one person we have actually seen face consequences for our actions so far, instead of just facing the threat of them. Her sisters are here. Her sisters, who she clearly does not want here, who are wild and violent and who she does not want in her life or anywhere near her, let alone near the job she takes so much pride in. She gets to deal with them now. (Hades doesn't have to deal with them. They're still not allowed in his court. But Meg does.) She gets stabbed, and bludgeoned, and shot, and lightning-struck, and poisoned, and every other thing we do to her. Thanatos doesn't. Nyx and Achilles and Hypnos don't. Bug Meg? Oh yes. Meg pays.
And yes, ok, she is complicit in this system. Everybody is complicit in this system. Zagreus who's trying to escape on his own behalf instead of overthrowing his father for the sake of everyone he'd otherwise be leaving behind is complicit in this system. Pointing fingers and pulling strings of who's more at fault? and who do we blame for this? is exactly how this sort of system perpetuates itself. Your sister always talked back at the dinner table and put everyone in an even worse and more violent mood. Your coworker refuses to work more than forty hours a week so now you have to take overtime to pick up their slack. You're enabling your dad by asking your sister to shut up, you're enabling your employer by working as hard as you do so you don't get fired, everyone's at fault, everyone's to blame, everyone is--
It's not everyone. It's Hades. It's Hades at the root of everything, and probably something big and institutional and fucked-up even beyond him. But even if everyone down in this Underworld does have to be trapped here forever, even if he's trapped here forever, Hades is neither challenging the system that put them here nor trying to make that fate better for anyone else stuck with him. He's just created an entire kingdom of backbiting and misery and people who can either go along with his whims or suffer the consequences.
At this point in the game, Meg is so fucking tired. Every time we run into her in the lounge, hunched over a table, the venom in her voice when she tells us "Do I look like I have anything to say to you?" is so bitter and so exhausted. There was a system, and she knew her place in the system, and it was a system divinely ordered by the gods themselves, and sure it was cruel but that's the literal will of the universe as far as she knows it. She had a role, and her role was vengeance and punishment and violence against those who'd committed the most egregious of sins in life, and there was a point to it, she was the divine deterrent to convince people not to do those things, and that was just, and that was right. The GODS THEMSELVES said so. How do you argue with that? You can't possibly argue with that!
And Zagreus is arguing with that. In trying to leave, he's questioning the unbreakable rule that nothing in the Underworld ever gets to leave it. In disobeying his father to do so, he's questioning the unbreakable rule that what the gods say is LAW. He's breaking everything.
And of course he's not trying to do any of that. He's not trying to destabilize the system at all. He's just trying to get himself out of it, to a place where he feels like he belongs and maybe a parent who's slightly nicer to him than this one. But toxic systems like this one break when the people within them have access to another option. When the kids find a way to actually leave, and not answer the phone, and not come home for holidays, and not deal with it any more. When the employees have the economic freedom to quit. When opportunities granted by education, money, social support, etc etc etc, show up and give people a choice. Even if the option is only ever for Zagreus--he's demonstrating that an option exists. Which is, of course, the one thing the system cannot ever allow.
I really like this game.
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autisticgayngel · 6 months ago
Canonverse Castiel-centric/pining/loving Cas fics
some of these are Dean's POV and a lot are alternating POV, but all of them really delve into Cas's emotions and his love for Dean. All canonverse and all happy endings. Categorised by post-confession, pre-s15 curtain fic and other canon-era. Descending word count within each category. If anyone has any recs for things I should add lmk!
Post-Confession Fics
things happen (they do, they do, and they do) by sobsicles 28k rating E
Everyone has recced this, and for good reason, it's stunning. Cas gets back from the empty and Dean sort of lets him down gently and is very worried about breaking his heart. Despite this Cas is finally able to express to Dean how much he loves him and takes full advantage of this. He's earnest and sweet and so intense about it, but also incredibly hurt about the lack of reciprocation, though he tries to hide it. He does get the love he deserves in the end and it's so good!
closer (isn't close enough) by fleeceframe 18k rating E
Again, Dean's POV, but very much focused on how much Cas loves him. Has the gorgeous Cas line: “When you are hungry, you eat. When you are tired, you rest. When you are dirty, you bathe. But what are you supposed to do with love?”
My unintended by DeanaWinchester, Jeanne_de_Valois 10k rating E
Really good Cas POV, he’s obsessive and insecure but also deeply loving.
my heart a compass by lagaudiere 10k rating T
The empty torments Cas with visions of Dean and of the family he longs to have with Dean. Dean saves him.
I said show me something by ilovehowyouletmefall 7k rating E
Sparked by the debate about whether or not Dean thinks Cas can feel. Cas is hurt by Dean saying he thought he couldn't feel and vulcan mind melds to show him exactly how he feels about him. It's a really interesting exploration of both of their feelings and fears.
Gift by thisisapaige 2k rating G
Very sweet little fic of them trying to work things out once Cas returns from the empty.
Pre-s15 Curtain Fics
take the long way home by dothraki_shieldmaiden 95k rating E
Dean tries to retire with his family but finds himself alone as Sam and Jack take a road trip and Cas goes hunting in order to prove he's still useful as a human and to avoid thinking about his feelings for Dean. Really agonising and harrowing at the start as they both feel so rejected and miserable. Cas gets into situations where monsters use his feelings for Dean to attack him. Eventually, they're able to tentatively work out their feelings and settle down together and it's very sweet.
Morning Glory by edgarallanrose 26k rating E
Dean and Cas retire together. Cas becomes a beekeeper and Dean starts to use the honey he makes to bake goods, which they sell at the farmer's market. Cas is very much in love with Dean but it takes Dean a bit longer to work things out.
Other Canon-era
A Winter's Tale by NorthernSparrow 64k rating T
This one hurts a lot, so fair warning for that. Cas falls ill while human and homeless and is hospitalised. Dean finds the journal Cas kept as he struggled to survive in this time. Pre-Destiel but Cas does write a lot about his feelings for Dean. Sam and Dean shower Cas with love and kindess as he recovers. Also a destiel epilogue that is very sweet and fluffy.
In the Shadow of your Wings by Enochian Things (Salr323) 57k rating E
Cas confesses his love to Dean post s11 finale but the timing is terrible and Dean is very repressed about it all and breaks Cas's heart. Cas gets an Italian man of letters boyfriend in an attempt to get over it and Dean is insanely jealous (which Cas is oblivious to) but they all have to work together to try to save Sam from the BMOL. Dean eventually gets his shit together and treats Cas the way Cas has learnt to understand he deserves.
That Black Dog Ache by SaltyWords (agent4hire22) 28k rating E
This is very much Dean's POV but I'm putting it here anyway because it has a really intense love confession from Cas, which I'll include an excerpt of that drives me insane:
'“I listen to your music, and I close my eyes. I try to imagine I’m in the Impala, hunting with you. And, sometimes,” his throat jumped, “I lay on your bed. I think about what it would be like if I got to have a place on it beside you... If you ever let me get close enough.”'
Kelp!I Need Somebody by andimeantittosting (Saylee) 27k rating E
A really sweet fic in which Sam, Dean and Cas go to investigate a case on Jesse and Cesar's ranch. Switching POV with really good mutual pining as they tentatively begin to realise the other feels the same.
Being Dean Winchester by Anonymous 26k rating E
Set early s4, Cas has to possess Dean temporarily. While doing this, he has to work to hide his feelings from Dean. Cas is already obsessed with Dean and in love with him but is embarrassed by it and struggles to keep Dean from seeing all of this, especially when Dean wants to have sex with someone while Cas is possessing him.
Après by imogenbynight 24k rating E
Set after the angels fall in s8. Cas falls to earth in Paris and realises he's in love with Dean. Dean comes to get him and they find love together in Paris.
desiderium, lost by atlasian 20k rating T
Castiel confesses his love for Dean and Dean tells him to move on. Cas tries, fairly unsuccessfully, before Dean gets it together.
No Other Worthy Quest by MajorEnglishEsquire 15k rating E
Cas just loves Dean very much.
'“For fuck's sake,” his skin is heating. Cas can feel it. “Stop saying lovey-dovey shit.”
“I know,” Cas rolls his eyes. “It’s so mortifying for you when I want to tell you I love you. I’m using all my self-restraint, I promise not to embarrass you.”'
The Arrow by jscribbles 12k rating T
Valentine's day and Cas has been hit by a Cupid's arrow and is literally sick with love for Dean.
and all this devotion by dothraki_shieldmaiden 10k rating M
Dean gets hurt on a hunt and Cas takes care of him in a cabin. Very sweet, delightful Cas POV of him being very much in love.
Cuckoo And Nest by komodobits 10k rating E
Cas struggles to work out why Dean deems some things meaningful and some things worthless, and where he fits into this apparent dichotomy. Really gorgeous and agonising Cas POV that deals with their constant issue of Dean just wanting Cas to stay and Cas wanting Dean to want him to stay but they're both too afraid to express it.
Breathe by turningthepages 9k rating G
Dean and Cas platonically sleep together to help with Dean's sleep. Cas both likes the situation and longs for it to mean more.
First Date by aeli_kindara 9k rating T
Dean asks Cas on a date and they're both trying very hard to make it all work. The sequel is stunning too.
'Dean says, “We should do that. Go on a date.”
Something in Castiel’s chest fuzzes, like static on a TV, and stops.'
weights on my ankles by dothraki_shieldmaiden 9k rating M
After 15x3 The Rupture, Cas goes back to Rexford. While there, he thinks about how Dean hurt him all those years ago and how he hurt him more recently. Partly a 9x6 Heaven Can Wait fanfic-gap fic.
Let it Linger by OmniscientOranges 8k rating M
Cas starts sleeping with men out of jealousy when watching Dean pick up women at bars. The way the fic describes how in love he is and how hopeless he feels about it is both agonising and very sweet.
He Thought He Was Reckless by MajorEnglishEsquire 8k rating M
Cas plays up injuries so that Dean will coddle him. Self-woobification from the Angel of the Lord and it's so sweet!
Something to Protect by Sass_Master 6k rating G
Cas tries to work out how to make Dean feel less unsafe so that he no longer has to jolt awake. Sweet, tentative intimacy and Cas enjoying it so much.
lonely hearts. by outpastthemoat 5k rating G
Deals with Cas accompanying Sam and Dean on hunts and feeling incredibly lonely and longing to be with Dean. He finds solace in romance novels.
Some People Would Call This Romantic by almaasi 5k rating G
Human Cas goes to the beach and finds it rather overwhelming. Taking a romantic walk with Dean along the beach is also overwhelming.
The Tea is Decaf by mnwood 4k rating T
Really sweet! Cas and Eileen talk and gossip about Sam and Dean in the bunker at night over tea.
A Place to Rest by Inessencedivided 3k rating G
Dean and Cas talk through things after the Stuck in the Middle with You love confession. Cas cries some more.
White Noise by domesticadventures 2k rating G
Cas struggles with feelings of worthlessness in the aftermath of Lucifer's possession.
Receipts by surlybobbies 1k rating G
Cas writes little notes about how much he loves Dean on receipts from meals they share together. Dean finds them.
916 notes · View notes
sweeterthanthis · 5 months ago
Bad Habits
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Pairing: Lee Bodecker x F!Reader
Word Count: 2.6k
Warnings: Explicit sexual content, breakdown of a marriage, alcohol abuse, dubcon themes, fingering, derogatory language, angst, 18+.
A/N: Written for the @sweetlyscared 1k Angst Challenge. Congratulations on the milestone, lovely! I hope you enjoy my contribution! And thank you to @msmarvelwrites for the encouragement, help and support when I randomly started writing this in the early hours! And to @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog and @whisperlullaby for being great hype women when I was having major posting anxiety. The prompt I chose is:
"Please don't give up on me." / "I gave up a long time ago."
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You awoke with a start, the thick, heavy thumping of a fist hammering against your front door pulling you from your slumber. It was the third time that week, and you didn’t even need a second to adjust your sleepy head to know exactly who it was. 
You’d ignored him the previous two nights, and he’d left of his own accord eventually. But you couldn’t go on like this, couldn’t stand the guilt you felt over ending things, or knowing that you’d broken him the way that you had. 
Sitting up in bed, a shiver ringing through your body as you pushed back the covers and planted your feet on the hard, wood floor. Reaching for your nightgown, you pulled it over your shoulders, tying the silk cord around your waist and standing from the bed.
Your bare feet padding softly against the floorboards, you made your way to the front door - the air silent now, aside from the soft sobs echoing through the barely open kitchen window. 
Blowing out a heavy, nervous breath, and unlocking the door, you pull it open; looking down at the floor and spying his heavy, black boot peeking out from beside the plant pot next to the porch. 
"Lee," you sigh, rubbing your eyes with the back of your hand, "we've been through this already. You can't just come on out here in the middle of the night no more."
You wince as he knocks over a smaller plant pot, sending it crashing to the floor as he pulls himself up; still dressed in his Deputy uniform and his black, leather jacket. 
You roll your eyes as you spot the small bottle dangling by the neck from his fingers, the stench of cheap whiskey permeating the air as he nears closer to you. 
“Why not? Got someone else warmin’ your bed already?” Lee drawls, his liquor laced voice stammering a little with each word. 
Exasperated, you reach for the door knob, unable to deal with the state he’s gotten himself in; the reason you’d asked him for a divorce in the first place. 
He’s quick on his feet, even as inebriated as he is, his palm slamming against the wood as you move to close it in his face. 
You don’t frighten so easy anymore, don’t jump at the sound of flesh hitting wood, never flinch when he raises his voice. You’ve dealt with it long enough, you’re almost conditioned to expect it now. 
“Lee, go home.” 
“Home?” He scoffs, without so much as a beat. “Home. You mean my office down at the station? I had a fuckin’ home, and you-” he gestures with the bottle towards you, “you kicked me outta it.” 
You don’t fight him. There’s no point. 
Letting your hand fall from the doorknob, hanging limply by your side, you turn, walking to the kitchen sink and pouring him a glass of water. He won’t drink it. Never does. But you do it all the same. Because somewhere, deep down in the pits of your soul, you still love him. 
You feel his whiskey soaked breath on the nape of your neck, a chill running through your bones as the stench burns in your nostrils. His hand grips the counter beside you, the moonlight catching his wedding ring as it streams in through the kitchen window. 
“Miss you s’much, darlin’.” He whispers, the tip of his nose brushing behind your ear, your chin wobbling just a little as you stand stark still. “Just lemme come home. I can do it this time, swear it.”
Your fists clench by your sides, heart battering in your chest as the memories of a thousand broken promises flood your tired mind. 
“Pour the whiskey down the sink, Lee.” 
It’s a simple request. One you’d made plenty of times before, and one that he’d never come through on. There wasn’t even the smallest part of you that expected him to anymore, but it didn’t stop the disappointment that sat in your gut each time he let you down.
“This is bullshit." His palm thuds down hard against the counter beside you as you duck out beneath his arm and move towards the table - out of reach of his frustrations. 
He’d never hit you. Not a single time. And you didn’t think he was about to start. But fuck, you were mad. Mad that you’d wasted four years of your life hoping he’d change. Your shoulders shook at the weight of the regret you carried, nose scrunched with disdain, and your body tense. 
“Bullshit? This is bullshit?” You rage, gripping the wooden chair with your fingers, knuckles white. “I’ll tell you what’s bullshit, Lee. Watchin’ you drink yourself half to death every fuckin’ night.” 
You lock eyes with him then, for the first time since you threw him out, his eyes bloodshot and the remnants of tears lingering. It makes your heart clench, your chest tighten, and the breath in your throat hitch. You watch as his jaw twitches, his grip on the bottle tightening so hard, you think it might shatter in his palm. 
“Look at you, Lee. You’re pathetic.” You spit, a lump in your throat as you do so, those lingering feelings of love and empathy prickling at your skin. But you can’t help yourself, can’t stop your mouth from running. “You can’t even pour that fuckin’ shit away, not even for your wife. You know, I’m glad we don’t have kids Lee. Because if we did, well fuck, they might’ve ended up just like you.” 
You hear the oxygen escape his lungs, like somebody just punched him in the stomach, his mouth falling open in reaction to your harsh declaration. You knew how important growing a family was to him - but as he’d already proven, it wasn’t important enough. 
He doesn’t speak, doesn’t utter a single word. Simply looks down at the half empty bottle in his hand, and then back at you. For a moment, your heart swells just a little, hoping maybe this is the day he sees sense. But he lets you down again, just like he always does. 
Lifting the bottle to his lips, his eyes never leaving yours, he drains it in five urgent gulps - and your heart shatters all over again. You push it down; can’t let yourself feel it, can’t let him see what he’s doing to you. 
“Get the fuck out of my house, Lee.” 
He wipes his drenched lips with the back of his hand, tossing the empty bottle to the kitchen floor and taking a step towards you as it shatters and you take a step back. 
“I’ll call the police, I swear I will.” You threaten, not registering how ridiculous that sounds. He clocks it though, a dark chuckle emitting from his throat as he stalks towards you. 
“The police? You gonna call the police, sweetheart?” He smirks, one hand on his hip as he nears closer. “Go right ahead. I am the fuckin’ law. Or did you forget that already?” 
You feel yourself shrink slightly, your shoulders hunching, your teeth worrying your bottom lip as he slinks closer to you across the humble sized kitchen. 
“You beginnin’ to realize you’re outta options, sweetheart?” Lee taunts, shattered glass crunching beneath the weight of his boots. “What’re you gonna do now, huh?” He coos, closing in on you, the bottom of your spine digging into the edge of the kitchen table. 
Your hands gripping the wood behind you, you lean back; trying to put some distance between the two of you as his gaze wanders down to your chest, the silk robe parting slightly, the curve of your breast peeking out. Lee reaches for the knot tied around your waist, his fingers toying with it, his intentions clear. 
“I missed this body, darlin’. Missed those pretty tits.” You shudder, the pit of dread in your stomach growing warmer, heat spreading throughout your thighs, scowling at yourself in disgust. “Been thinkin’ ‘bout all the pretty noises you make for me.” 
He closes the gap between your bodies, tugging the cord gently, just enough to make you wriggle with discomfort, his knuckles dragging across the hollow of your throat; ass resting on the edge of the table as he parts your thighs with his own. 
“You remember the sounds I can get outta you, sweetheart?” With one final tug of his fingers on the cord, your gown comes loose, falling open and giving him an eyeful of what he’d claimed to miss so much; your nipples pebbling from the breeze rushing in through the front door. “Yeah, there they are. You’re tremblin’, honey. Can pretend all you wan’, I know you missed me.” 
“Lee, get the fuck off m-” he stops you in your tracks, gripping the underside of your thighs and jolting you back further onto the table, his bloodshot eyes taking in the sight of your bare chest, roaming down your body and settling between your thighs. Your hands fly out to grip the collar of his shirt, a combination of confusion and lust clouding your brain. 
“Come on, lemme remind you why you married me in the first place, huh? Lemme touch you, baby. Wanna feel that sweet cunt 'round my fingers again.” 
He drags a solitary fingertip over your nipple, eliciting a quiet whimper from your lips, his own pressed against your forehead. An unusually soft gesture as he toys with your tits, gentle for a moment, before kneading them, one after the other, hungrily in his palm. 
“Yeah, I missed ‘em. Guess what else I missed?” Lee hums, his splayed out palm gliding down your torso, down over your soft belly to the damp curls between your legs. You shudder involuntarily, despising yourself for allowing him to touch you - for allowing yourself to want him to touch you. 
“Lee, please,” your hand gripping his leather clad wrist, his fingertips hovering over your cunt, “this isn’t helping anybody. You- you need to leave.” 
“Oh, you want me to leave?” He smirks, hooking a finger beneath your chin and tilting your head up just a little, his whiskey breath fanning your face. It made your stomach churn, your eyes watering from the strength of it on his tongue. He yanks his hand from your halfhearted grasp, cupping your pussy and humming when he finds it soaked. “She don’t want me to leave, sweetheart. Quite the fuckin’ opposite.” 
He presses a palm against your chest, shoving you back, your elbows supporting your weight on the wooden table top beneath you, silk robe falling from your shoulders and pooling around your wrists. 
“You givin’ in, sweetheart? Well, damn. Went from tiger to kitten in no time at all, huh?” 
You grit your teeth at his taunting, seething as you blow heavy breaths through your nostrils. But the way his fingertips dance, featherlight, over your pussy lips; you couldn’t find it in yourself to revolt. 
“Look’it this.” He drags a finger through your sloppy folds, your cunt clenching as he probes your tight hole with the tip of his digit, spreading the wetness he finds there up over your clit. “Tellin’ me you didn’t want this? That this ain’t helpin’? Cunt’s fuckin’ drenched for me.”
He slides a finger inside, walls fluttering around it as he curls it up against that spot inside you that he knows sends you dizzy, your head lulling back a little as your objections die on your tongue. 
“S’my perfect, tight little cunt. Mine.” He growls, pinching your nipple firmly between his fingertips, hand pressed up against your core as he slides another finger in alongside the first. “You feel that? Shit, your squeezin’ em so goddamn tight.” 
“Please,” you pant, your hips rocking down against his hand, shamelessly seeking more contact, more pleasure, “please, Lee.” 
“Listen t’you, beggin’ me like a cheap whore.” Shame swirls in your gut at his derogatory words, but your pussy throbs at the statement, his thumb finding your swollen clit. And you just don’t care, the way hes fucking you with his fingers, the filthy words dripping from his whiskey-tainted tongue. You just want more. “Gonna come all over these fingers? Yeah, I bet you are. Always did love it when daddy played with that spot, didn’ you?” 
Your eyes roll back as he slips in a third digit, stretching you out around them, pushing down firmly on your g-spot and stroking it back and forth. “Yeah, right there. That’s the one, sweetheart.” 
The intensity of it, the rush, the heat blooming in your belly - it’s too much.
Too much, and yet nowhere near enough. Grinding yourself against his touch, his fingers knuckle deep inside your cunt, you can’t help but mewl and whine. Garbled words falling flat on your lips as he works you towards your orgasm, your cheeks hot and your abdomen tight. 
“Fuck.” You cry, a feral edge to it, halfway between a shriek and a snarl. 
“Yeah, you’re so fuckin’ close.” Lee chides, one leg raised over his shoulder and the other dangling limply beside him. “Come all over my fingers, darlin’. Gimme all of it.” 
He drives his fingers into you at a pace that has you visibly shaking, you can barely take a breath, the pressure in your core threatening to burst wide open, toes curling as he quickens his ministrations on your clit. 
“Yeah, yeah there ya go,” he chuckles, watching as your face contorts in bliss, your heartbeat thumping in your eardrums, that first, unforgiving wave of pleasure crashing into you at brute force as he drawls his words, slow and dirty, “good girl, good fuckin’ girl.” 
Your body wracked with the force of your climax, you fall back against the table, your cunt gripping his fingers wildly, your release coating the leather of his sleeve, animalistic whimpers singing from your throat. 
“Fuck, I sure as hell missed this part.” You can barely keep your eyes open, but you feel him withdraw and try to watch anyway as he raises his fingers to his mouth, inhaling your scent as he sucks them clean. And you hate the way you want him more than ever before right there in that very moment. “Like fuckin’ honey, darlin’.”
It’s as if someone dumps a bucket of ice water on you, the way in which you pull your robe across your chest, sitting forward and shoving him backwards. 
He stumbles, not expecting it, eyes wide and perplexed; that sardonic smirk nowhere to be seen. 
“Get the fuck out of my house.” You seethe through gritted teeth, wiping the perspiration from your forehead with the back of your hand. “Take your booze-ridden ass and get the fuck out.” 
Lee holds his hands out in front of him in mock defense, shaking his head from side to side as he chuckles darkly. Tilting his head towards the shattered glass on the kitchen floor, he speaks. “Best clean that up. Don’t want’cha to go hurtin’ yourself now, do we?” 
You grab the closest thing to you, a portable radio, and launch it in his direction. It misses him by a hair's breadth, but he backs away all the same, making his way to the open door. He takes one last look at you, your knees pulled up to your chest as you hug them tight. 
“I can’t quit you, and I’m not even gonna try. Keep fightin’ me, darlin’. I ain’t givin’ up on this. Please, don’t give up on me.”
The softness in his tone makes you weak, but you push it down all the same, vitriol rising on your tongue as you spit your retort. “I gave up a long time ago, Lee.” 
He simply stands there, hand on the doorknob as he pulls it to, huffing a laugh at your spiteful words. 
“We’ll see ‘bout that, Mrs Bodecker.” 
741 notes · View notes
slasherhaven · 6 months ago
Any headcanons for being childhood friends with any of the slashers? (preferably the Sinclair brothers but any are fine)
These got so long, I’m so sorry! 😂 But please enjoy!
Thomas, Michael, Jason, Brahms, and the Sinclair Brothers
Being Childhood friends and reuniting:
Thomas Hewitt
You went to school with Thomas and it was easy to see that you were the only friend he had.
Kids can be cruel, especially when they see someone as an easy target. Thomas was a quiet, insecure kid and they picked on him for that. His scars were the main thing they bullied him about.
You couldn’t remember how many times he cried to you, until he eventually stopped crying. Then he would just deal with it, keep his head down and take it. You knew it still bothered him, so you still comforted him, he didn’t even need to ask you to do so.
Beside his family, you were the only person he had. 
You knew each other into your teen years and he adored you. He loved you, whether those feelings were platonic or not.
Luda May loved as well, since you spent most of your time at the Hewitt residence visiting Tommy. She was glad that he had a friend.
But when everyone started leaving town, your family thought it was time to move as well. You can remember running to the Hewitt residence the night before you left to say goodbye to Tommy, you had both cried before you had to leave him.
A few years passed. You became an adult and moved away from your parents. You had heard them talking though, about how there Hewitts apparently never left town, about how they insisted on staying. Everyone thought they were crazy for it and while you loved the family you couldn’t help but agree. There was nothing in town for them anymore, how where they even getting by?
But you decided to pay them a visit. You still thought about Thomas and the family a lot, so you wanted to check in on them. Now that you weren’t living with your family.
You walked up to the familiar house and knocked on the door. Luda May was the one who opened it and she instantly recognised you, smiling brightly and inviting you inside for a cup of tea.
The two of you sat in the kitchen, catching up, until she came to her senses and pointed out that you were probably here for Tommy. So, she called him down.
When he stepped into the kitchen, he just stared at you. He couldn’t believe you were hear after all that time passed. He thought for sure you would have moved far away and forgotten about him.
He had always been taller than most people but now that he was an adult he was even taller, and broader, but you still recognised him as Tommy.
Luda May smiled at you both and told you that she would give you some privacy before leaving the kitchen.
“Hey, Tommy” you greeted him with the kind smile that he still remembered, even after all this time. “I heard your family never left town, so...I came to see you” you explained your presence.
Once he was sure that this really was you and that you were still looking at him the same way you used too, Thomas crossed the kitchen and pulled you into a hug. You smiled into his chest and you returned the embrace.
“I missed you too, Tommy” you confessed.
You couldn’t imagine the people who remained in the town after you left became any kinder, you couldn’t imagine how Tommy felt. Dealing with their ridicule and not having his one friend to turn too.
But you were here now and that’s all that mattered, you are here for as long as he needed you to be.
Michael Myers 
CLICK HERE for Michael’s post.
Jason Voorhees
You had been Jason’s only friend at camp, sweet, kind, and caring. You would defend him against the bullies, wipe his tears when he cried, and hugged him to comfort him. You had even met Mrs Voorhees once and she loved you, you were the only person who was sincerely kind to her son.
But then the ‘accident’ happened and you never saw Jason, your best friend, again. The camp closed down so you never returned, not until years later.
You were an adult now, flipping through an old photo album, smiling at an image of you and Jason as children. You had never forgotten about the boy, how could you? 
And of course you had heard the rumours of him having come back to haunt the camp, and it pissed you off that people would use your best friend’s death as a scary story.
It was then that you decided to take a trip up to the camp. Parking your car and walking into the old abandoned camp, memories of your summers here coming flooding back.
Jason had heard the car and expected a group of teenagers that he would have to deal with, but instead he saw one person with flowers in their hand.
You walked along the dock that the accident happened on and sighed, placing the flowers down at the end. There was no memorial for him but you thought the poor boy deserved some flowers.
Jason watched from the safety of the trees, watching you place down the flowers and pay your respect to...him. When you turned around he got a better look at your face. It took him a minute but he could finally place your face, how could he forget you? You were older now but he could recognise your face.
You had decided to explore the old camp, thinking back with a sad nostalgia. Jason watched you the whole time, no intention of hurting you, you had been the only one who cared for him. He was more considering whether he should approach you or not. He decided against it, not wanting to scare you.
Eventually you left, saddening Jason, but your visits became a regular thing. You’d bring flowers to put at the end of the dock for Jason, even though you noticed that the last bouquet you left was gone by your next visit.
This time, you had sat down at the end of the dock, looking out into the water, and you spoke. You apologised for not having been there, for not being able to help him all those years ago, told the still water that you missed him.
He had missed you too and maybe that’s why Jason found himself walking towards you, standing still at the start of the dock, waiting for you to turn and notice him. 
Finally, you did, gasping at the sight of his large masked figure. You panicked at first before piecing the rumours together, could this really be Jason or where you letting stories get to your head.
“J-Jason?” you took your chances and he nodded, confirming your theory. “You’re...I...but, how?” he didn’t respond, of course, he just stood still and tense. “The rumours...the stories...they’re all true, aren’t they?” he hesitates but nods. That’s when your gaze fully focuses on the machete in his hand. All the stories were true...
Noticing your focus on his weapon, he dropped it to the floor. He wanted to show that he wasn’t going to hurt you, he remembered you.
Jason was alive...kind of? Well, he was standing in front of you and you could only feel happy about it.
He completely froze when you ran up to him and threw your arms around him, telling him that you missed him and that you were glad he was alright. He expected you to be afraid but all you could focus on was your childhood friend being right in front of you, and having been alone all this time. 
He cautiously wrapped his arms around your body and relaxed. You were exactly how he remembered you. Still sweet, kind, and caring. Now that you knew he was here, your visits were about to becoming much more regular.
Brahms Heelshire 
CLICK HERE for Brahms’ post.
Bo Sinclair
You had lived in the little town of Ambrose and been about the same age as Bo. It wasn’t a large town so there weren’t many kids your age, you thought Bo was lucky to have a twin, until you realised just how different they were.
Bo was a difficult child, no doubt about it, he clearly had a lot of trouble controlling his anger, but you never let it bother you. You always pushed past it, showed him that he couldn’t push you around, and eventually befriended him, even if he wouldn’t admit you were friends.
He left the house more than his twin brother, in fact he seemed to prefer being away from the house. So he ended up spending a lot of time with you.
You eventually found out why he liked being away from his house, learning how his parents treated him when you accidently saw the scars that wrapped around his wrists. He told you everything then, with a brave face, he didn’t let one tear fall even though you partly wished he did.
He was an angry and angsty kid, but it never bothered you. You’d still smile and laugh. He was a bad influence, having you sneak out at night to meet him. But you were the light at the end of a shitty day for Bo.
Then he left town, him and his brothers just left one day and you didn’t see them again. It broke your heart, even if Bo was difficult he was your best friend and now he was gone.
Eventually you moved away from the little town, hoping for something bigger and better, but something just kept tugging at the back of your mind. You felt like you had left something there.
Years passed but eventually you decided to head back, just for a trip, nostalgia and all that, and to hopefully get rid of that nagging feeling.
You were so close to the little town when your car broke down. Luckily, a man had been driving by and offered you a lift. He asked if he knew you, recognising your face, but you told him that you didn’t think so. You didn’t recognise him. But you told him that you grew up in the town and where just visiting, that’s when he knew he had to mention that to Bo.
He took you into town and dropped you off at the garage before leaving. When you headed inside, nobody was there.
When Bo heard about the new visitor being somebody who grew up in Ambrose from Lester, he didn’t think too much about it. It was strange, sure, but in the end it didn’t really matter.
It didn’t matter until he wandered down to the garage and saw you, nearly instantly recognising you. He hated that he remembered you, that you had enough of an impact on him to be worth remembering him. Something told him that you might remember him as well, and you definitely would when he gave you his name. He probably caused enough trouble as a kid to be worth remembering. 
“Well, what brings you back to Ambrose?” Bo asked, his voice making you turn around, a little startled.
“I...Bo?” recognition of the man in front of you interrupted your explanation.  
“Thought you actually got out of this place” he seemed unfazed by you being here but you knew him better than that. He always acted less bothered than he was, unless he was angry, then it was the complete opposite. 
“I did...kind of. I left but something just had me coming back” you shrugged. 
“Miss me that much?” Bo asked with a smirk. It was good to see that his arrogance didn’t disappear during his time out of town. 
“In your dreams” you joked, too happy to see him to even try to keep your smile off of your face. “When did you even get back to Ambrose?” you asked. 
“A while ago. I mean, it’s ‘home’, right?” he scoffed a little. He had never been a huge fan of the little town. 
“How are your brothers? Are they here too?” you asked.
“Sure. Vincent is up at the house. Lester drove you here” Bo nodded. 
“Oh God, that was Lester? I didn’t even recognise him!” your eyes widened. 
“‘course you didn’t, he was a kid when we left” Bo chuckled, shaking his head at you. 
“Why didn’t you let me know you were back in town?” you asked. You didn’t think he would ever come back to the little town, you thought he’d want to get away from it. 
“You weren’t that important” he shrugged. 
“Oh please, you recognised me as soon as you walked in here. You missed me too” you scoffed, reminding him that you knew him better than that.
“...welcome home, Y/n” a genuine smile grew on Bo’s face, making you smile as well.
Of course it wouldn’t be long before you discovered the town’s little secret and then there was no way that they could let you gave Bo the perfect excuse to keep you around.
But for now, you could just reunite with old friends.
Vincent Sinclair 
You had lived in the little town of Ambrose and been about the same age as Vincent. It wasn’t a large town so there weren’t many kids your age, you thought Vincent was lucky to have a twin, until you realised just how different they were.
Vincent was the quieter twin, the one who was left with severe facial scars that he was incredibly insecure about, Bo was louder, more abrasive and that’s what kept you away from him. 
Any other kids weren’t too kind to Vincent, but you were and that’s when you both grew so close. He adored you for your kindness. 
You’d hang out in the Wax Museum or around the back of it, anywhere private where it could just be the two of you.
You never judged him, you were never cruel. You would comfort him when he was upset, make him laugh and smile. He had even let you see his face from time to time. You never reacted poorly, you always smiled, you even told him he was handsome. He adored you.
But then he had to leave...and he didn’t think he would ever see you again, and neither did you. After that, he became even more quiet and secluded.
Eventually you moved away from the little town, hoping for something bigger and better, but something just kept tugging at the back of your mind. You felt like you had left something there.
Years passed but eventually you decided to head back, just for a trip, nostalgia and all that, and to hopefully get rid of that nagging feeling.
You drove into town, getting an eerie feeling from how quiet and empty it seemed. Maybe a lot of people had moved away...
When you couldn’t find anyone, you headed for the Wax Museum. You and Vincent would hang out there a lot as kids, since his parents owned it and he didn’t like being out in public too much.
You explored the familiar building curiously. It was dusty but not as unkept as it should have been. Somebody had been here. Maybe not everyone had left the town?
Vincent had seen you as soon as you entered the building, and watched you wander around. He noticed how the family pictures made you smile, how you admired the art work, but what he noticed the most was how familiar you looked.
You smiled some more as you picked up one of the pictures, the one of three young brothers. That’s when it hit him. He knew you, he remembered you, and it seemed that you remembered him as well.
You continued to explore before turning to the doorway, gasping at the large figure standing there. 
It didn’t take you long to recognise him. He was a lot taller than the kid you knew and he had let his hair grow even longer, but the mask was a dead give away.
“Vincent?” you asked gently, a smile forming on your face when he nodded. “ you remember me?” he nodded instantly, making you smile some more.
Vincent appeared to be just as cautious as he was all those years ago, walking further into the room.
You met him half way, giggling to yourself about how tall he had gotten. “Y’know I came here because I missed you? Thought it’d be fun to revisit some old memories but...this is much better” you told him.
His head tilted to the side curiously, like he was asking if you were being honest.
“I mean it, Vinny. I missed you” you assured him, placing a hand on his arm.
Just like that, Vincent wrapped his arms around you and pulled you into an almost desperate embrace. You smiled and instantly returned his hug, needing it just as much as he did.
Vincent never thought he’d see you again, his only friend, but he missed you and was glad to have you back. He still adored you and hoped you would stay, he couldn’t lose you again. He was just terrified of what you would think when you found out the truth about this town.
Lester Sinclair 
You had lived in the little town of Ambrose and been about the same age as Lester. It wasn’t a large town so there weren’t many kids your age, so you and Lester became very close friends.
At home, Lester got the least attention out of his brothers. Bo was a handful and Vincent seemed to by their mother’s favourite child, so they got most of the attention. He didn’t mind that much but he did like that he got all of your attention when it was just the two of you. You made him feel important and you both got along incredibly well.
The two of you would hang out all the time, often getting told off for running around too far in the woods.
And then, the brothers had to leave town, breaking both of your hearts. Neither of you thought you’d see each other again.
Eventually you moved away from the little town, hoping for something bigger and better, but something just kept tugging at the back of your mind. You felt like you had left something there.
Years passed but eventually you decided to head back, just for a trip, nostalgia and all that, and to hopefully get rid of that nagging feeling. 
You were so close to the little town when your car broke down. Luckily, it wasn’t a long before a truck appeared driving up the road, pulling over when the driver saw you struggling with your car.
Something about the man seemed familiar when he hopped out of his truck but you couldn’t place it.
“Need some help?” the man asked with a smile. He was dirty and something about him seemed a little odd but he didn’t make you uncomfortable and he seemed friendly enough. 
“Uh...yeah, if you don’t mind. It just stopped and I don’t know that much about cars” you sighed, glaring the car down as if it personally wronged you. 
“I can take you into town, to the garage” he offered. 
“That would be great” you accepted the offer with small smile. 
“What brings you out here anyway?” he asked as you grabbed a bag from your car, slamming the door shut.  
“I was actually heading into Ambrose. I grew up here. Something just pulled be back, I guess” you told him as you walked towards the truck. 
“...Y/n?” the man asked your name, surprise evident in his voice. 
You turned back to the man, wondering how he knew your name, but then it hit you. “...Lester?” you asked, putting a bright smile on his face as he nodded. “Oh my God, I thought you left town!” you threw your bag into the truck and quickly ran over to him, wrapping your arms around his neck and hugging him.
Lester instantly returned your hug, holding you close. He had missed you so much. 
“We came back a while ago. Saw you moved away” Lester explained as you pulled away from the embrace, your hands resting on his shoulders and his on your waist.
“We? Your brothers?” you asked, eyes widening slightly.
“Yeah, they’re in town. Bo runs the garage actually” he told you. “Are you staying for a while?” he asked, seriously hoping you’d say yes.
“I was planning on staying a few days but now I have to stay longer” you smiled brightly. You didn’t plan on leaving him again so soon.
“C’mon, I’ll take you to the house and get Bo to look at your car” Lester offered before releasing you and heading around the truck to climb inside.
“Hey, Lester?” you stopped him by grabbing his arm, making him turn back to you. “I missed you” you told him.
“I missed you too” Lester smiled at you, glad to hear he wasn’t the only one.
The two of you climbed into the truck and headed towards Ambrose, ready to see his brothers again. Lester worried about you discovering what they were up to in the town, he just wanted to be able to spend some time with you again.
789 notes · View notes
lovelyblack · 6 months ago
➫ crushing
feat. midoriya, bakugou, todoroki, and kirishima
synopsis: the boys are crushing for you real hard
part I part II
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oh this boy has my heart oml
so we all know he struggles with talking to girls
it’s cannon and it’s the most adorable thing on earth
so picture him talking to the girl he likes...
it’s a sight to see, that’s for sure
he becomes worse towards you if that’s possible
he’s red
and going off on tangents whenever he starts to just get too overwhelmed
which is a daily thing
“hey izuku!”
“izuku please stop before you hurt yourself”
now it’s hard to tell that he likes you because he acts flustered towards any girl
so you don’t think much of it
izuku 100% has a couple pages or at least a whole notebook about you and your quirk
not in a creepy way
at first it was strictly just about you and you abilities
eventually he’d go from writing about your quirk to writing cute things about you
or things he’s noticed you like
he’s definitely tried to impress you before
not even completely intentional though
he’d just feel this urge to be the best he could be when you would be near him while training
now poor bb isn’t completely aware of his looks
like he’s so freaking cute
but he just doesn’t see that though
so he’s not sure you’d really be attracted to him
we all know this boy isn’t shallow one bit
but he’s a teenage boy and he worries on what you think of him physically as well
you think he’s cute the way he is
sometimes he’ll leave you cute things on your desk
“i know you like all might almost just as me. so i got you this pin for your backpack. i hope you like it.”~izuku
when you show him the gift and thank him he always becomes a stuttering mess saying “it was nothing!” or “well i just thought of you-AS A FRIEND OF COURSE!”
it’s always stuff along those lines
he’s just so nervous on how to deal with this crush
he’s to precious😩
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he’s not happy about this
not at all
he can’t have a crush
especially when he’s reaching his goal to becoming the number one hero
crushes and dating are just stupid
that’s what he tells himself at least whenever your around
his crush isn’t too obvious to others, BUT if you know him well enough or pay attention towards his interactions with you
you’ll notice it
the way he talks to you is less hostile
sure he still acts the same when he gets angry (which is all the time)
but he calms down faster when you’re around
his body and mind just don’t work the way he wants it to when your around
he’s challenged you several spars before
he thinks your quirk is impressive and the way you train is just as good
“your not complete shit at this”
“thank you?”
he gets possessive over any guy that flirts with you
you best believe he’s death stared other students that have tried to ask you out
i can just see him glaring at them in the back with sparks forming in his hands
kirishima and kaminari have definitely teased him when they noticed
kaminari has even gone so far to flirting with you just to rile bakugou up
that man really does have guts i-
boom boom boy lost it
straight chased kirishima around UA with explosions forming in the palms of his hands
*kirishima just laughing while running away*
*confused y/n 🙃*
the rest of the bakusquad doesn’t know if kirishimas dumb or just ballsy
we choose the latter
it’s cannon bakugou took acting and dancing lessons as a kid so when UA has a spring dance he demands ask you out he feels confident enough to not look like an idiot when a slow song comes on
“extras. your coming to the dance with me”
“excuse me???”
that’s took you by surprise
did bakugou just say PLEASE?!
you know not to dwell on that stuff ‘at least now’
“yeah. i’d like that”
“tch. you fucking better”
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he’s just 🧍
ok i don’t see him as COMPLETELY oblivious to his feelings
just more confused to handle it
he knows he feels a way towards you that’s not in a ‘strictly friends’ way so he kind of starts from there
i do below he will go to izuku for some type of closure or questioning towards his emotions though
“midoriya, is it weird to feel this way towards y/n?”
“well todoroki, you might like her more then a friend”
“i know that but why?”
“you should ask yourself that todoroki. what makes them special compared to anyone else?”
that’s when he starts thinking hard about what makes you any different in his eyes to feel this way about you
when he thinks it all comes down to; your kindness, determination, strength (mentally and physically), the way you handle others and situations during training, your smile, the way you look out for others, how you challenge, how you can make even bakugou crack a smile sometimes, all this traits make up the most beautiful person to him.
when his feelings are sorted out and clear to himself now he starts to act slightly different
sure he’s still stoic BUT there’s times he can’t contain his blush or smile when your around
you may not notice
but midoriya does
he honestly finds it cute the way todoroki acts when your around
i think todorokis quirk has acted up before when he’s been taken off gaurd
he has great control over his quirk so that makes it even cuter honestly
if you touch him in anyway he will flame up after it kicks in and you go back to what your doing
that happened when your finger grazed when you handed him a worksheet down the row
he doesn’t and i repeat DOESNT want to spar with you if he had a choice
like i said when your around his control is just not there
but ofc it bound to happen since sparing happens daily with each kid in the class
your strong
but his quirk is going off of hormones so that can be even stronger
when it comes to confessing i think it will take him a bit
he is his worst critic (next to endeavor) so best believe bb boy is physicking himself out thinking you’d say no for many reasons he’s thought of
but we all know you won’t
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ugh he’s such a blushy blush blush mess when your around
he’s so chivalrous it’s too cute too handle
i honestly think kirishima isn’t aware how cute he is
fuck it hes hot
he’s hot and cute!
and he just isn’t aware of it
so he’ll training with his hero costume (or at least what left of it 😂) and he’ll be flexing whenever he moves and you’ll just be like 😀
sorry i’m getting off track!
he makes sure to let you know in the most wholesome of ways that he thinks your amazing and to make sure he treats you like a MAN should
if your around he opens the door for you if you need to go into a room (he does this to everyone anyways but he will literally run a mile to just open a door for you)
he compliments you during training
now i don’t see him as the type to compliment your looks because he just seems like the type to not want to single out certain parts of you
or make you feel that you look good on THAT day compared to the others
no no no
this boy thinks your beautiful all day everyday
and i think compared to the other guys he thinks a lot more when he approaches you or speaks
he just doesn’t want you to get the wrong idea of him
but we all know kirishima is the sweetest most loyal boy out there
so you wouldn’t think that he would have a malice bone in his body to begin with
he loves sparing with you
the way you train
the way you move while you use your quirk
turns him on
he just likes that your so badass
he does get self conscious though with his quirk sometimes around you
he’ll see bakugou or todoroki with their flashy quirks thinking you’d want to be with someone who’s “hero worthy”
kirishima has the attitude of a hero
“look kirishima, i see the way you look at todoroki when he fights and i just want you to know you don’t need a flashy quirk to become a hero. your quirk and you alone have the ability to become the best hero out there. so believe in yourself. believe in yourself the way i believe in you”
his heart went OOP right there and then
you’ve never seen him turn so red in his life
at first you thought you embarrassed him for calling him out from his insecurities but it was anything but
you just said you BELIEVED in him to become the BEST HERO out there
that means you actually focused on him
that’s means you cared
of course you don’t know that’s why since he’s just standing there silent with a face redder then his hair, looking at you with wide eyes
“n-NO! i mean- it’s fine. it’s just...thank you. for believing in me...”
ugh boys so cute
after that he blushes around you almost all the time
it’s just the fact that you think so highly of him makes him know you actually care enough to pay attention to him
so he pushes himself harder then before to show you and himself that he can do it
787 notes · View notes
whiteqnn · 11 months ago
PURE [2] - Corpse Husband x Fem! Reader
Pairing: Corpse Husband x Fem!Reader
A/N:  443 notes?! THIS IS INSANE! Thank you guys so much for all the love under the first part of this, I was so shocked to see how many people enjoyed this story! I hope this one will be just as fun for you as the first one ^^
part 1
part 3 
part 4 
part 5
PURE [2]
Corpse stared at the red screen with the word IMPOSTOR written in the middle, his eyes widened, a small smile tugging at his lips. 
“No way” he murmured into his microphone, no longer holding himself from breaking into laughter. “Do you guys see this? I wish I could see Y/N’s reaction.”
It took his audience just a second to respond, his chat being flooded with lots of comments about the said girl. 
“SHES SHOOK” he managed to read one from the hundreds of comments, once again bursting into laughter. “Yeah, I can imagine.”
He decided to follow Lily for a while to make himself less suspicious. He probably didn’t need to do that this time, since the others usually suspected him when he was innocent. Ironically, each time he was the impostor, they seemed completely blind to every murder he committed. 
They were both doing their tasks in O2 when the first body was reported. 
“Woah, Y/N is fast” he mumbled, before unmuting himself. 
“Okay,” Lily began speaking first “Corpse is 100% innocent, we were together this whole round, doing our tasks in O2. That’s all I have.”
“Yeah I saw you guys in there,” Felix said. “Where’s the body Sykkuno?”
“Um, so first of all I can also vouch for Dave and Y/N, we were hanging out all this time. So in the beginning, we were all in the upper engine, protecting each other like good friends that we are, and then we headed towards the medbay. And that’s where it gets interesting because I’m pretty sure I saw Poki leave medbay and run to the cafeteria.”
“You really think I would kill my best friend in the first round?”
“Yeah well, some people do” Sean scoffed, clearly referring to the last game when he was murdered by Felix. “Besides, I saw you guys when I was leaving Security so it looks like you were with her the entire round.”
“Wha- Okay, let me defend myself. I would never kill her if I was the impostor, which I’m not because she’d literally come barging into my room to murder me. She’d kill me for killing her first.”
Toast, who seemingly still held grudge against Corpse’s fellow impostor, decided to call Y/N out “Y’know, we all played with Rae before, so we all know how furious she gets after being killed first... but there’s one person who doesn’t know that.”
“Y/N/N?” Sean’s voice blared through their headphones “As much as I know how hard it would be for her to make the first kill, I can actually see that happening.”
“What?! Sykkuno vouched for me literally seconds ago, where the heck did you get that from Toast?” she asked in utter shock. Corpse glanced at his chat and leaned towards his mic, making sure that he was muted in the game.
“Y’know guys, if I didn’t know she’s the impostor, I’d believe in her every word. I mean, she’s so innocent, just listen to her.” he said with a smile, not expecting in the slightest how his audience will react. 
“Aww, he goes soft for her ^^” 
“The duo we need but don’t deserve”
“What?” he almost stuttered, quickly going through the growing number of such comments. “I mean-”
“Ooh, someone’s getting angry. Where the heck? That’s aggressive, Y/N” Felix’s amused voice brought him back to reality, and even though Corpse didn’t use a webcam, he still tried to hide his pink-tinted cheeks in the material of his hoodie.
“It was not me! I swear! I was doing my tasks all this time, making sure that no one murders Sykkuno or Dave!” 
“You’re pretty defensive for someone who claims to be innocent,” Toast said with a smirk hiding in his voice. 
“Give her a break guys, she was literally with us all this time. I’m sure we would’ve noticed if she killed somebody” Dave stood up for her, but it seemed like all the attention was directed from Poki to Y/N. 
“Well maybe the other impostor is either you or Sykkuno and you’re just trying to clear each other?”
“Um, if there were two impostors among the three of us, the third person would have to be a crewmate. I mean, it would be impossible for them to kill somebody without a crewmate seeing it.” Sykkuno pointed out, much to Corpses’ relief. 
“I knew Sykkuno would vouch for her” he told his chat, before unmuting himself to defend Y/N as well “Haven’t we already established that Poki is sus as well? She was last seen near the body and has no alibi.” 
“I didn’t do it. The only person that could vouch for me is dead, we were with each other the entire round. I leave her for a few seconds and somebody kills her, but it wasn’t me.” 
“I don’t think she’s lying guys, I mean, if she killed Rae she’d probably be dead already” Felix chuckled “Let’s just skip this round, we don’t have enough evidence.”
“Alright, but Y/N,” Toast said, as everyone pressed the skip button “I have my eyes on you.”
Corpse could hear her sigh before everyone muted their mics. 
“We’ve gotta get rid of Toast guys, he’s too suspicious. I don’t want him accusing my partner in crime, even though he’s right” he chuckled under his breath, following Toast’s character into Admin. “Alright, Felix is with us as well, good. If I just pretend I’m doing card swipe, they’re gonna both vouch for me since everyone knows I’m great at this task.” he shook his head with a deep laugh escaping his throat. 
He could see the other two astronauts running around admin, before they both decided to leave, which gave Corpse a perfect opportunity to frame Toast. He killed the lights and chased his victim who, much to his joy, was now completely alone in comms. 
“Hi, Felix. Bye, Felix.” Corpse snapped his neck before speeding out of the room and venting into Navigation.
That’s when someone fixed the lights. And Corpse jumped out of the vent, only to come face to face with none other than Toast. 
“SHIT” he laughed in panic, seeing that he couldn’t use the kill function yet. “Shit, he must’ve seen me.”
And indeed, it took Toast just a split of second to run out of the room and speed towards the emergency button, Corpse hot on his tail, even though he knew he wouldn’t avoid getting ejected. 
“I’m busted guys, there’s no way they’re gonna believe me” he told his audience, watching as Toast’s character approached the button. However, Corpse wasn’t sure if he was just seeing things, but he thought that he saw an outline of another character appear out of nowhere just mere seconds before Toast called the meeting...
“YES” he almost screamed, at the same time laughing hysterically, when he saw the red cross decorating Toast’s name. 
“WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!” Sean yelled, similarly to every other player that remained alive. “HOW DID THAT HAPPENED?!”
“Oh my God.”
“But- I don’t get it. What just happened?” Y/N’s soft voice sounded out, making Corpse laugh even more. 
“Someone killed Toast the moment he called the meeting.” Sykkuno explained, barely holding himself from laughing.
“Is that even possible?” she asked confused, her voice sounding so innocent and sweet that the other impostor couldn’t stop himself from grinning.
“Oh my god, she’s just- I can’t.” he chuckled deeply “She’s too precious guys, I swear I’m gonna do everything to keep her alive.”
“Yeah, that’s some big brain move. And since Toast is dead, there’s only one person with balls who could do it” Sean said, clearly very sure of his next words.
“CORPSE!” Lily chirped into her microphone, her voice soon being followed by others who eagerly agreed with her. 
“Okay, I admit I saw them in admin where I was doing the card swipe, but then they both left and I haven’t seen them anymore.”
“Were you in admin this whole time?” Poki asked. 
“Um- yeah, pretty much. I tried to beat my own record in failing a card swipe.” he replied, making everyone laugh. He thought of it as a good cover, unless someone entered the admin after he left... 
“Sykkuno where are you?” Poki directed her next question to the lime astronaut.
“Why am I accused again?” he asked confused “I was with Sean in medbay, I think Y/N joined us for a moment to do the scan, then she left, and then Toast called the meeting.”
“So maybe it’s her?” Dave commented “I mean, medbay is right next to the cafeteria, so she had quite an easy access to the emergency button.”
“Yeah, that would actually make sense” Lily added.
“Oh no, they’re gonna vote her off...” Corpse mumbled under his breath, deciding that he had to intervene. She just saved his ass, he couldn’t possibly just watch her get ejected because of that. 
“Guys, I didn’t even know it was possible to kill someone this way. Trust me, I played only a few times and Jack made sure not to reveal any of his big brain moves.” she scoffed at the last part, making Jack let out a loud laugh.
“How can we be sure you’re not just acting all innocent? I mean, you exposed Felix last game, being one of the last people to stay alive.”
“Y/N was with me when Toast called the meeting, she is innocent” Corpse decided to finally speak up. The silence settled among other players. “She found me in admin and made sure nobody killed me when I failed the fucking card swipe.”
“Why are you saying this just now, Corpse?”
“Cause he’s fallen for her god damn trap! I told you!” Sean argued.
“What trap?” Y/N asked confused.
“I mean, who wouldn’t? It’s like listening to an angel” Corpse said, before he could stop himself. Everyone on the call went wild, just like his chat did... He didn’t know why he said that, it just slipped before he really thought about it.
“Corpse, you do realize you’re simping only makes you even more suspicious?” Poki asked with a laugh, and Corpse felt the blush rising up his cheeks. Even more, when Y/N completely ignored this comment, deciding to suddenly stay quiet...
Did he make her uncomfortable with such comments?
“Seriously though, I’m pretty sure it wasn’t her. We watched each other’s back, so I’m also clean.” 
“As much as I hate to do it, I have to agree with Corpse on this one” Sean suddenly said. “That she’s innocent, I mean. I’m sure Corpse just follows her around like a lost puppy and I didn’t see the two of them, but I doubt Y/N knew it’s possible to kill somebody like that. No offense kiddo.”
“See? Guys, it wasn’t me!” she exclaimed. 
“Wait, why do you hate to agree with me?” Corpse asked in confusion.
“What? I just told you my alibi, weren’t you listening Jack?”
“We have twenty seconds left” Lily reminded, cause everyone seemed to forget about the voting time. “We don’t skip at 7, right?”
“Alright, I’m voting Corpse, I still think he’s sus even though I agreed with him.” Sean announced, much to Y/N’s dismay. She quickly objected, trying to defend her fellow impostor:
“It’s NOT him, I watched him fail that dang card swipe!”
“I’m also voting Corpse, he must be one of them.” Lily agreed with Jack.
“Sykkuno, I hope you’re not doing what I think you’re doing” Y/N asked the lime astronaut, who was silent for the past few minutes.
“I um- I don’t know, they kinda have a point Y/N...”
“Sykkuno, listen to me.” she lowered her voice, trying to convince him “Corpse is not the impostor. You know you can trust me, right?”
“Sorry guys...”
Corpse burst out laughing, seeing that out of seven remaining players, five of them decided to skip. 
“She’s too good” he chuckled, quickly running up Y/N’s character when they started the next round. He circled her white astronaut, and she seemed to get his message because she eagerly followed him into Electrical to fake the tasks and wait for someone to show up. 
Soon enough two figures waltzed into the room, only to be simultaneously decapitated by the two impostors, who then swiftly vented into medbay and locked the door to their crime scene. 
“That was smooth” Corpse smiled, happily running around Y/N’s character. “I love being impostors with Y/N, it’s so much fun. The best thing is that no one besides Toast really suspects her of doing something wrong.”
Corpse figured Y/N sabotaged the oxygen because the next thing he saw was Lily running past medbay to stop it from depleting. 
“Ladies first, Y/N” he mumbled, and even though she couldn’t hear him, her small character sped up and left the medbay, chasing after Lily. He waited a few seconds, before bursting out laughing.
“That was... I would never guess it was you!” 
“I’m sorry guys, I really didn’t want to kill any of you” she laughed apologetically, but Corpse could sense she was smiling “I just had no other choice...”
“Yeah, I’m sure you killed us by accident” Toast’s voice blared out, followed by loud laughter.
“What was that again? I didn’t even know you could kill someone this way?” Felix mocked in a high pitched voice, making them laugh hysterically. Corpse also found himself unable to catch a breath between his giggles.
“I told you guys they’d fuck us up.” Rae spoke up “But I was actually glad Y/N killed me first, watching her kill Toast was so much fun.”
“Ha ha, thanks, Rae!” Toast exclaimed ironically.
“Y/N and Corpse are just complete serial killers, I don’t know how else to comment that” Felix chuckled. 
“Well...” Corpse mumbled, unmuting his microphone “I can’t disagree. She’s a perfect partner in crime.”
“NOT AGAIN WITH SIMPING CORPSE” he heard Sean’s response, and once again felt awkward when his all his friends laughed at him, and Y/N remained quiet. 
That was, however, until her soft voice effectively quietened everyone. 
“It was.. an honor to murder my friends with you.” 
Corpse never thought his face could hurt from smiling so much...
“Alright, who’s up for another game?” Felix asked after a few moments, and received a chorus of me’s from almost everyone. 
“Unfortunately I have to go now, but it was so fun playing with you guys!” Y/N said, making everyone (Corpse included) object rather loudly:
“One more round, please? I want to see you kill someone again!”
“C’mon kid, what else do you have to do?”
“Stay with us Y/N, I need someone to protect me!” 
“I’m sorry but I’m really tired. I’m sure I’d just fall asleep on my desk and Toast would come up behind my back to murder me.”
“Well, that was actually my plan...” the man in question replied with a chuckle.
“You sure you don’t wanna stay?” Corpse finally asked “Killing won’t be the same without you...”
“I know, and I’m sorry... But I was working the whole day and my eyes just hurt and I feel like I’m gonna faint” she replied. 
“Alright, but just so you know, we’re playing again later this week, and I better see you entering the lobby on time” Felix said, trying to sound threatening, but failing at it. Y/N giggled to herself, the sound making Corpse smile almost unknowingly. 
“I wouldn’t dare to miss a chance to murder my new friends!” 
“Oh my god, she’s too adorable!” 
Everyone said their goodbyes and soon Y/N left the call, her small astronaut disappearing from the lobby, much to Corpse’s disappointment. He wished she’d stay a little longer, playing with her was something he found incredibly fun and quite relaxing if he was completely honest. Or maybe aside from playing itself, listening to her voice was what kept bringing a smile to his face every time she spoke up. 
“Guys, I think I’m also gonna call it a day, it was really fun.”
“What? It’s not even been over an hour!” Rae protested. 
“Yeah, I um.. I know but-”
“Don’t push him guys, he can’t play without his partner in crime” Toast’s teasing voice made everyone burst out laughing, and Corpse just shook his head, glad that nobody could see how red his face became.
“Fuck you guys, okay?” he chuckled into the mic, before finally saying his goodbyes and leaving as well. He thanked his viewers for watching and promised to stay longer next time, before closing the discord. 
He sat for a moment in his chair, staring at the black screen, a smile slowly widening on his lips. It was one of the best games he had ever played in Among Us, and he couldn’t wait to be Impostor with Y/N again. 
“Perfect partner in crime... I’m such an idiot” he mumbled under his breath and felt himself blush, shaking his head at how awkward that must’ve sounded. He pulled his phone out and checked his Twitter, only for his eyes to widen once he saw the top trending hashtags. 
“Oh my God...” Corpse yelped, covering his eyes with his hand as if it would make all those tweets disappear. “Why am I the way I am?” 
He considered texting her, trying to maybe make things less awkward than they already were, but decided against it. He feared he’d make even more of an idiot out of himself... 
Convinced that all those comments about simping and now those hashtags made her uncomfortable, it didn’t even cross his mind that Y/N might be looking at them at the exact same moment, with adorable blush tinting her cheeks, and her lips turning into a small, shy smile...  
A/N: I think about writing 3rd part... 
2K notes · View notes
angelsxbelle · 9 months ago
how they push you away vs. how they make it up to you.
my first hurt/comfort scenarios let’s go😀
headcanons on how haikyuu boys cause stress on your relationship and how they fix things afterwards ~
note: shirabu’s and hirugami’s take place with them as adults, iwaizumi’s takes place as third years in high school
warnings: angst to fluff, timeskip occupation spoilers, swearing, iwaizumi’s ended up being a little long oops
pairings: shirabu x reader, hirugami x reader, iwaizumi x reader
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shirabu, KENJIROU
to put it lightly, shirabu is  s t r e s s e d  af
medical school is already hard enough, but taking care of another person is even harder to do at the same time
he just wants to crawl underneath a blanket and not have to think about anyone else’s feelings for a while while he lets everything out
he appreciates that you want to take care of him, but he doesn’t want you to hover over him and distract him while he’s trying to focus
this one day he’s studying for an exam and when you come home from work you come over to where he’s sitting and ask him how is day was
no response.
you ask again, nudging him a little bit to get a response
his eyes squint the tiniest bit, and what comes out of his mouth next is worse than yelling, screaming, or even just saying something flat out mean
“can you go away? you being here is messing up my concentration and this is more important”. he says, in a cold tone
“this is more important”. so that was it. so that was how he felt about this whole thing. you walk away, dumbfounded at your realization of how he really feels, not hate, not disgust, just nothing. 
you go to bed alone that night, an empty space in your bed where he used to sleep when he still cared
later in the week, after the exams are over, you’re sitting at your dining room table, and you look up as you see him coming towards you, gingerly sitting down next you with a soft expression on his face
“i’m sorry” - he says as he hands you a note, folded neatly between his fingers like the ones he used to make for you in high school
as you open the note, your eyes scan down the page
it’s a long letter, one that obviously took him a long time to make
you start reading and you see a list of all the things he loves about you, and how he wishes he could treat you better and how he’s sorry about how he’s been lately and he wishes he could take away the pain he’s given you
tears well up in your eyes and threaten to spill down cheeks, you squeak out “thank you jirou”, and look down
he tilts your chin up to look at his face and you look each other in the eyes
“i love you”, he says
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hirugami, SACHIROU
as a a veterinarian, hirugami encounters all sorts of different situations with animals brought into the clinic
some of them not so good ones
one day you get a call from one of the people he works with, saying that that day a dog was brought in that they almost couldn’t save and that hirugami probably wouldn’t be in a great mood when he got home
you sat in the living room for while, a little nervous of the state he would be in when he got home 
when you hear his key click in the lock of your front door, your heart skips a beat and you get up to go greet him, not expecting to see the dead look in his eyes as you looked up at his face
“hey, how’s everything going? are you oka-”
“can you just leave me alone please. i’ve had a long day.”, he interrupts you 
“are you sure? they said something happened at the clinic-”
“i don’t want to talk about it.”
“ oh my god can you please stop talking? somebody’s dog almost fucking died because of me, i don’t want to hear you yammer on about whatever right now. just go away.” 
he slams your bedroom door behind him, latching it shut with a click
 you walk away to go eat dinner alone, feeling like someone just stomped on your heart, chewed it up, and spat it out
the next day you wake up having slept on the couch, and go get ready in the bathroom and eat breakfast before getting ready to to work
as you’re about to walk out the door, you feel a hand gently grab yours, stopping you from leaving
you whip your head around to see your boyfriend with a remorseful expression on his face, a different hurt in his eyes this time 
he pulls you closer and kisses you forehead, saying how sorry he is for hurting you and how he didn’t mean it, how he let his feelings get the best of him
a little apprehensively, you bury your head into his chest and cling into his shirt so he knows you accept his apology
later that day, he takes you to your favorite restaurant and sits you down at a table close to the big window outlooking the scenery below
as snow drifts past, softly twinkling from the lights illuminating your view outside, but he’s looking at you instead
he knows he never wants to let go of you, maybe he’ll tell you that soon as he slips the ring in his pocket on your finger :)
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iwaizumi, HAJIME
iwaizumi had never had any problems with jealousy in your relationship, or even just problems in general mostly
he trusts you, and he knows how much you love him
but recently you and oikawa had gotten paired together for a group project, and you had been spending more and more time together as a result
it wasn’t really a problem at the beginning since iwaizumi knew it was just a class project, but as time went on he couldn’t help but feel his stomach twist every time he walked by the library to see you working away happily, you laughing at something oikawa had said
he didn’t want to admit it, but it hurt seeing you like that with pretty boy oikawa.
pretty boy oikawa that all the girls he had ever liked liked him instead.
pretty boy oikawa that got all the stares as they walked by.
pretty boy oikawa that probably looked better with you than he did.
he walked away, knowing he shouldn’t feel defeated as his eyes droop and he looks down at the ground
he has trouble sleeping that night, his head full of thoughts he shouldn’t be thinking, images he doesn’t want see of you with him
the next day, you’re eating lunch together, and you notice he looks a little off, so you ask him if anything is wrong or if he needs to get something off his chest
“i’m fine”, he says with a flat tone
“are you sure? you don’t look okay, you know you can always talk to me right?”
“nothing’s wrong.”, he says again
you pester him again, as he starts to look more annoyed in the process
“why don’t you just talk to oikawa if you need to bug someone that bad, i’m sure he’ll love the attention from a little whore like you”
both of your eyes widen at what he said, not believing it fully
even iwaizumi knows that was completely out of line, even as someone who likes to tease to show affection
“fuck you hajime” , you say, tears stinging at the corners of your eyes as you walk away from where you were sitting together
hajime feels like crying.
the next day he’s nervous to see you, knowing you’re probably still hurt from what he said, but still searching for you anyway
as he walks sheepishly up to you, you ask what he wants after the painful exchange you had yesterday
“i’m so sorry. nothing i said was true, and you didn’t deserve it at all. i got jealous of oikawa and i know it’s my fault and i want you to please forgive me because i can’t lose you and hate myself for letting it get the best of me.”, he lets out
“it’s okay hajime, i understand and i love you, but please don’t say anything like that ever agiain, it really hurt”
his heart breaks a little bit at hearing that, but he’s happy you still want to see him
“i love you too. more than anything, i promise i’ll never hurt you again.”
he wraps his big arms around you and holds you tight
you know he doesn’t want to let go, even when the bell rings letting you know you’re late for class
he doesn’t want to let go of you ever
the end :)
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2K notes · View notes
ynscrazylife · 6 months ago
We’ll Find Each Other | b.b angst & fluff fic
Request: “I know this is horrible of me, but can somebody write an imagine for me where Bucky x Reader in The Falcon and the Winter Soldier, the reader gets badly injured/killed during the fight in episode four, involving angry Sam and scared/sad Bucky?”
Summary: Y/N gets badly hurt by John Walker. Her friend and ex-boyfriend are worried and protective.
Permanent Taglist: @natasharomanoffismywife @hehehehannahthings @paulawand @blackbat2020 @sybil-moon-is-a-mess @cerberus-spectre @marrymemcgrath @celestialbarnes
MCU Taglist: @stephanieromanoff @summerlovingbaby @ineffablebean @okkulta @procrastinatingsapphictrash @prettysbliss @mochamoff @sarahp-stan @thewidowsghost @basiclesbianbitch @mycosmicparadise @kidswhofightmonsters @extraordinary-fangrl @peggycarter-steverogers @username23345 @ima-gi--na-tion @hateinthemorning​ @hi-i-1​ @mmmmokdok​
Taglist for this fic: @poedamneron01 @eternalharry @7minutes-tomidnight @ally22042000 @awesomemikaus
A/N: Thank you for allowing me to write your request! I hope that you enjoy it.
WARNING: There are some mentions and descriptions of blood and injuries but it’s not incredibly descriptive and this fic is long.
Request to be on a Taglist (or multiple) here!
MCU Masterlist | Main Masterlist
header c @/peachy-ash
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Y/N wasn't supposed to be involved. Not now and with what happened so many years ago, before the Blip, when she and her best friend Sharon were forced to go on the run. The two women had helped Steve with his fight against the other Avengers and when Bucky was sent to Wakanda to remove the brainwash done to him, Y/N volunteered to accompany him when Steve and Sam had to go on the run, and they struck up a romance. However, it was interrupted when Sharon needed her help as the government was close to tracking her down. So, Y/N had to leave Bucky but, just recently, she had seen him again. 
Both were equally surprised and you bet it was awkward for everyone in the room. Y/N let Sharon do the talking, avoiding eye contact with Bucky. God, she had always thought about - even panned- when she would reunite with him. It wasn’t even supposed to happen like this, but it was, and now she was in yet another situation that wasn’t supposed to happen as she was standing next to Sharon, listening as she informed Sam of what was happening with the Flag Smashers and John Walker. 
“Yeah, I’ll text you where exactly it’s going down. Just get there soon, okay?” Sharon said into her phone, and there was a brief pause before she nodded and then hung up, going to text him. As she did so, she added, “Y/N, you need to go help them.” 
“Sorry, what?” Y/N asked, blinking as she turned to her friend. 
Sharon gave her a pointed look. “You need to go help them. The last time Bucky, Sam, Walker, and Lemar faced the Flag Smashers on their own it didn't go well. There are more of them now - they’ll be outnumbered,” she rationalized. 
Y/N furrowed her eyebrows. “Why can’t you?” She asked.
Sharon shook her head and stifled a chuckle. “People saw me with Bucky and Sam — you know I can’t go out right now . . . C’mon, you won’t need to talk to Bucky, just punch people!” She pointed out.
Y/N bit her lip, eyes darting around to find another excuse. However, Sharon’s logic overpowered her. “Fine,” she gave in grumpily.
As she speedily made her way to the fight, she couldn’t help her mind from centering on Bucky. Memories filled her head of their time in Wakanda and she wondered how he was doing now. Did he ever think of her like she thought of him? Did he ever miss her? Want to see her?
The former S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent sighed, her thoughts stopping when the sound of yelling and people fighting overwhelmed her ears. She spun around, following the sound, and soon found herself caught in the middle of the fight.
Bucky and Sam were each taking on two members of the Flag Smashers on their own while Walker was struggling to hold his own against one of them, making Y/N roll her eyes. As another Flag Smasher was going for Bucky, Y/N intercepted, slamming him into the wall.
Engaged in the fight, she missed the brief, surprised yet proud smirk that crossed across Bucky’s face when he realized she was there. He began to fight back even harder, almost as if her presence was motivating him, which Sam noticed and grinned smugly at the fact.
Just as Y/N had knocked the Flag Smasher out, she looked over only to see a figure flying at her. Not knowing what to do and not knowing who this figure was, she froze, and was only saved when a certain metal hand curled around her arm and yanked her out of the way.
Y/N could only watch as Lemar smashed into the column she had been standing in front of only seconds before. She was in such disbelief that she didn’t register that Bucky had wrapped his arms securely around her, holding her.
Standing there up close, Y/N and Bucky could easily see that Lemar is dead. She was taking short breaths, panic setting in. She had witnessed people die on S.H.I.E.L.D. missions but it had been a while, and she felt herself getting dizzy, almost nauseous, only coming back to earth with the spinning feeling in her head stopping when Bucky tugged at her.
“We need to go,” he whispered urgently in her ear after exchanging a look with Sam, all three of them watching as Walker shook as he bent down beside his friend and checked his pulse.
It took Y/N a moment to realize that the Flag Smashers had all disappeared, and it was only when she recognized that Bucky’s arms were around her that she realized his hold was calming her somehow. Y/N focused on Walker, trying to think logically despite the chaos around them. “You go. I’ll try to talk him down - he already doesn’t like you two,” she whispered, doing her best to keep her shaky voice quiet.
Bucky frowned, not liking her answer, but Sam was giving him a look and how Y/N was slowly pushing him away - it made him remember that she’d be fine with Walker, she was highly skilled. He quickly told her where to meet them before running off with Sam, in search of the remaining Flag Smashers.
“Captain America,” Y/N said, her voice hoarse, having to force the words out with all her will because calling him that felt so wrong. “I am so sorry for your loss.”
Walker didn’t say anything. After a couple of pounding moments of silence, he gave her a harsh glare, probably the worst she had ever received, for just a split second. His frown was deep, eyes gleaming with big and angry tears, cheeks red, sweat covering his forehead, hot breath escaping from his lips. Y/N was almost captivated it, not expecting this reaction, which is why she didn’t react at first when he suddenly darted up and ran, not expecting him to do that either.
As soon as she connected the dots and figured out that he just be out for his revenge, Y/N scrambled to her feet and followed him. Realizing how far he had gotten already, Y/N could only jump to one conclusion that sent chills down her spine: he somehow had the super soldier serum in him, for she had only seen Steve and Bucky run like that.
Reaching the outside, Y/N was floored to see Walker standing over someone who was not Karli, kicking him forcefully. As he began to raise the shield, Y/N knew she wouldn’t reach him in time, and could only think to do one thing, yell . . . “STOP IT! NOW! HE DIDN’T DO IT!”
Walker paused briefly and then turned around, his glare intensifying 10x if that was possible. “You have a point. Maybe you should be my target? After-all, if you hadn’t moved out of the way, maybe he would be alive! Did you think about that?” He spat bitterly.
Those words latched themselves onto Y/N, horrifying her as they sunk in. Was that true? Could she have stopped him from being killed if she hadn’t moved? What was innocent as a thought crashed down on her, it’s weight distracting her from Walker, and the next second she knew, a large force was hurtling at her, but Bucky wasn’t there this time to save her, and she felt intense pain coursing through her body as that force hit her, throwing her into the air.
Unable to find the Flag Smashers, Bucky and Sam decided to circle back to find Y/N and Walker, only to be stopped by a large gathering group of people. They pushed through them, confused, but stopped in their tracks when they saw Walker standing over someone who was unconscious on the ground. He began to bring the shield over his head once more (although neither of the two men knew that), which was what spurred Bucky into action. He ran, jumping onto Walker’s back, grabbing the shield and slamming it into the ground. Walker tried to twist Bucky off of him by throwing him back, but Bucky used that to his advantage when they hit the ground, pushing Walker off of him and kicking him into unconsciousness.
Bucky was sitting up, looking at Walker, when he heard his friend scream his name, and looked over to see Sam by Walker’s victim. Furrowing his eyebrows and getting closer, Bucky at first thought Sam was in a frenzy because Walker had killed them, but soon found that it was something else entirely.
The victim was Y/N.
Bucky could’ve sworn his heart had skipped a beat. When he first saw Y/N, he didn't know what to think or how to feel. Y/N had been on and off his mind for a while now, him not being able to shake her, and even though he had no clue if she still loved him like he loved her, he knew he didn’t want to stop thinking about her. Despite suffering the painful thoughts of wondering if Y/N was safe or if she was okay, he had also been comforted by the sweet memories he held. Seeing her now, unconscious, ignited a deep fear inside him that was bubbling up quickly, sending urgent signals to his brain before total terror could erupt.
He went on autopilot, feet carrying him over to Sam and Y/N. He knelt beside his friend, assessing the situation, knowing he’d have to push down the fear and the distress he was facing internally to best help the woman. She had a nasty gash on her the side of her head, blood staining her forehead and cheeks, and Bucky could spot various cuts and bruises starting to form, with blood seeping through her shirt. He carefully pulled her shirt up only to see a big gash covering her stomach, bruises forming, which would most definitely scar. 
The only thing keeping his boiling anger from going to beat the crap out of Walker was the fact that Y/N needed medical assistance and that he could hear the sounds of cameras clicking, just knowing photos and video of what happened would be circling the internet, if it wasn’t already. Bucky wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close to him before getting to his feet with such care you’d think Y/N was glass. Sam stood beside him, eyes flickering from Bucky to Y/N, thoroughly worried. 
“C’mon,” he grumbled, trying to make sure Y/N was comfortable and trying to keep her away from the people’s cameras. “We gotta take her to the hospital.” 
Not exchanging any words, Sam covered Bucky while he carried her to their car just to make sure that pictures weren’t taken of them. Sam drove while Bucky sat with Y/N in the back with the first aid kit, doing his best to patch her up. Tears were brewing in his eyes, feeling like a hammer was pounding his head, when the situation and his absolute need for her to be okay had started to sink in.  
He forced himself to look over at Sam, only to see the Falcon tightly gripping the steer wheel, almost speeding through the streets of Madripoor. It was then that Bucky realized that he was on the phone with Sharon, who he could hear was giving him directions to the hospital. He was giving her short replies, staring straight ahead, and Bucky refocused himself on Y/N. He never unwrapped his arms around her, scared that something would happen if he did, and he nervously thumped his metal fingers against his leg. 
As they neared the hospital, Bucky got Y/N into his arms in bridal position to carry her and Sam hung up the phone. “I can’t believe that bastard did this,” he muttered under his breath and Bucky could practically hear the rage in his tone. They both exited the car with Y/N and rushed into the hospital, yelling out for help and explaining the situation. Doctors ran out and directed Bucky to lay her in the bed of one of the rooms, and promptly pushed both him and Sam outside, where they were left in the waiting room. 
Not long after, Sharon arrived, and joined the boys. She was a bit more calm, though on the inside was wracked with worry and anger at Walker, and she sat beside Sam, who was practically shaking with fury. Sam had his head in his hands and Sharon did her best to comfort both him and herself, sparing a glance at Bucky who just had his arms crossed, a frown on his face, and was pacing back-and-forth endlessly. 
When the doctor finally emerged, the three stood up, and questions - similar to an interrogation style - spilled out of Bucky’s mouth. “Is she okay? Will she be okay? Is she awake? When will she be better?” 
The doctor firmly and patiently answered with, “We stabilized her. She will be allowed to leave hopefully within the next couple days but will need to rest for awhile.” She continued to tell the trio Y/N’s injuries before leading them to her room, where she informed them that only one was allowed at a time for visiting. There was no conversation - everyone knew it would be Bucky. 
When the Winter Soldier stepped inside, he let out a massive breath he had bottled up when he saw Y/N awake, bandages covering her body. “Hi,” he greeted, love in his eyes as he pulled a chair close to her bed and sat down. 
Y/N leaned against the pillow, tiredly smiling at him. “I missed you,” she said. She didn’t talk about what happened, nor about Walker, she talked about them, and that made Bucky feel special, a warmth spreading inside him. 
“I missed you, too. You terrified me today, doll,” he replied, giving her a smile to signal that he wasn’t mad, the nickname slipping out as if they had never been apart. 
Y/N didn’t say anything for a couple moments, closing her eyes and gathering her thoughts. Bucky thought she had fallen asleep and his smile got wider, glad she was getting some rest, but apparently that was not the case.
“I’m so sorry I left,” she said, voice cracking. 
Bucky sat up, a grave expression washing over him and, relying on instinct, he reached out and held her hand, careful not to jostle her.  “Oh, hon, don't apologize for that, ever, okay? You did what you needed to do, and now we have eternity,” he said, but then realized . . . did she want to be with him again?
Y/N let out a chuckle, but that was through tears and Bucky reached over to wipe them. “Buck . . . I love you. I’ve loved you ever since Wakanda but . . the doctors told me I need rest and you’re gonna need to continue on your mission with Sam and-” She began to say. 
Bucky, not thinking he’d be able to bear what she was going to say, interrupted her. “Y/N, please. We’re gonna be-” 
Y/N squeezing his hand silenced him and, after a couple of tough moments, them both crying, Bucky slumped his shoulders, knowing that she was right and hating it with a deep passion. 
“We’re gonna find each other again, okay? We did it just now so the universe obviously wants us to, and we just have got to persevere. It’ll be worth the wait in the end,” Y/N promised, sniffing and keeping her fingers crawled around his. 
Bucky picked his head up, nodding with determination and wiping his tears, before pressing a kiss to her forehead. “I love you,” he whispered. 
Y/N smiled, the tiredness of the day beginning to set in. “I love you, too,” she responded, sealing that promise with those three precious words. 
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