#i just need to do some renovating ig

[astermath]

nemesis; part two.

pairing: carmen berzatto x fem!reader

summary: with carmen reworking the restaurant, you’d think his mind would be far too occupied to even think about anything else. yet he can’t shake the guilt from what he’d put you through a month prior. after some talks in therapy, he decides to take a leap of faith and see if he can talk it out with you. he not only wants to convince you that he can be better, but he's got an offer for you too. one you truly can't refuse.

♡ landing page ♡

word count: 4.9K

tags: carmen being unsure about his feelings but trying to be better episode 3265742, letting reader in a little more, APOLOGIES!!!, cursing ig, carm goes to therapy yippee, syd being the absolute realest, regular font below!

notes: sorry this took literally forever omg, I lost my carmen muse for a bit but we are SO back baby. I missed him so much and so sorry if some things don't follow the canon completely (I've been watching season 2 on and off bc I've been so busy lol BUT my fics never follow the canon completely anyways),, hope u guys enjoy and let me know if you'd like a part three ;))

lmk if you'd like to be added to the tag list for further carmen berzatto related content! comments and reblogs are highly appreciated!

Carmen’s life hadn’t known a moment of mental rest in ages. If you asked him when he last sat down with his thoughts or acknowledged his mental anguish, he probably would have said he couldn’t remember the last time. If ever.

With plans to completely revamp The Beef and everything that came with it, now his feelings should be the last thing on his mind. Renovation plans, unforeseen costs and a completely new menu, sure, he could worry his ass off about those, but feelings? Absolutely not. Good thing he was usually so good at suppressing those anyways.

So why was it that he couldn’t shake the thought of what he did to you?

Why, every time he had a moment to himself, would he be overtaken by this intense feeling of guilt? He didn’t even have to be alone, just a second of quiet and the image of you crying in distress would intrude on his thoughts.

It was getting to a point where he’d told his sister, Natalie, about it. Well, not all of it, he wasn’t even sure if he knew all of it. Just that he knows he hurt you, and that coming to terms with what he projected onto you might be a good first step in understanding himself better.

Or maybe it was something more along the lines of “I gotta talk my shit to some people”. Probably that.

To his surprise, it was actually helping. Besides the group therapy sessions where he’d talk about Mikey, the business and his future, he was talking to other people in his life too. Even told Sydney about you, kind of on accident. The words just seemed to… Flow out. It was probably the exhaustion doing its thing.

“I guess I just felt like,” he kept his eyes on the floor he was sweeping, “she was doing it all to fuck with me. I don’t even know where I got the sick idea that she had some obsession over me, but it— it drove me at the same time. It’s like her being on my heels at every aspect of culinary school just made me want to try even harder.”

“Maybe you painted her in that light because you knew it was a good way to keep pushing yourself.” Sydney spoke almost absentmindedly, sweeping the other side of the room. She listened to everything he said in the meantime, and though what he was telling her was a bit worrying, she was glad they got to have talks like this. Carmen often doesn’t like to bring up his past like that.

“Huh,” he paused sweeping for a moment, “yeah… yeah, maybe. Or maybe it was something else.”

Sydney wasn’t even sure he knew what he was referring to. It sounded like something entirely different, like a crush, but what kind of person treats their crushes like that?

Probably an overworked, pressured, overachieving culinary student with a dangerous need for validation. But she wasn’t about to tell him that.

“So yeah, I visited her restaurant, and… It just felt the exact same as back in New York, you know? Like she was rubbing it in my face again, and— and I know that sounds insane, or conceited, but I just can’t let it go. It’s like the thought of her is stuck to my brain like a stubborn piece of gum.” He wanted to smack himself for that stupid analogy, but what was said was said.

“So how’d you handle it?” Sydney’s head perked up, some of her braids now draping over her shoulders.

“Handle what?” Carmen became more and more uneasy the more he talked about you. Like his chest was tight, it was uncomfortable, but not in the way he was when the health inspection came by, it was different. Weirder. Unfamiliar. He didn’t like it, because he didn’t understand it.

“The talk with her.” She emptied the last bit of dust into the trash bag.

“Oh,” his mind took him back to the parking lot a month ago. The way he could almost taste the tears of your skin from how close he stood, he could hear the shakiness of your breath and the profound desperation in your voice when you apologized to him, when you really had no reason to.

If it was still so clear in his mind, then what must it be like for you?

“Carmen?” Sydney snapped him out of his oncoming train of thought.

“Yeah? Sorry, I— Uh, I don’t know it was…” He runs a hand through his hair, suddenly finding it in his best interest to look anywhere else but her face. “Bad. It was— It was bad.” He looks a bit shameful when he meets her eyes. “I fucked up. I like, went all New York boss on her. And then I just… Left.”

His colleague just stares at him for a moment. She knew what he was like when he snapped like that, but that was with his staff, people he liked. So how badly did he snap on you, a person he’d been resenting for years?

“I’m gonna go take out this trash, and uh… Head home.” She lifts the grey plastic bag she was holding. “But uh, Carm?”

“Yeah?”

“You got issues, man.” She has a bit of an awkward smile on her face, but he knows she means it. He knows she’s right. She usually is.

He nods, silently, letting her words sink in. He did have issues, everyone knew that, but most people didn’t just say it. That’s why he liked Sydney, she was so real, so honest. She was so good for the business, for the kitchen. And maybe her saying that to him was all part of grounding him in the reality of it all. Of his issues, just that they existed.

“Heard.” he says. His voice comes out raspier than he expected, like he’s struggling to say it.

“Goodnight, chef.”

“Night.”

He’d thought about what Sydney said the entire night. He does have issues, he knows that, he’s just mad at himself for letting everything get this far before seeking help. It scares him. Because it reminds him too much of Mikey. Or what he heard about him when things got bad.

He doesn’t want to make the same mistakes his brother did. Lock people out of his life just because it seems easier, because it’s better to minimize the damage than to figure out why you’re doing damage at all. And yes it’s uncomfortable, yes it’s scary, terrifying even. But he keeps being reminded of how it must feel for you.

It’s something he’d never considered before. He always thought he had you all figured out, all fake smiles and backhanded compliments to distract him. It never occurred to him to just… Ask. It was always just easier to assume. It fit his view of you and it kept him going, even if it was at the expense of ever getting to know you at all.

He’s hoping he can change that with a few text messages and a long, probably uncomfortable, talk over coffee. Just hoping, trying, that’s really all he can do. He’s well aware of how bad he is at communicating, but he has to give it a shot. For you, at least.

He stares at his phone screen for far longer than is necessary, continuously rereading the messages he’d typed. His eyes keep flicking to your contact, making sure he sent it to the right person. The only thing you two had texted about before was a time and place for him to try your new restaurant. His heart aches at the exclamation points and emojis you’d sent; you were so excited, and he drove all that excitement straight into the ground.

He closes his eyes and shuts off the phone. His chest hurts, like he’s been holding his breath the entire time. Maybe he has. You could have that effect on him, making it harder to breathe. He always wondered why he had such nervous reactions around you specifically. He always figured it had to do with your one sided rivalry, but it feels… Different. More complex.

Your eyes are finally peeled off your computer screen when numerous phone notifications alarm you. Truth be told, you’ve been trying your best to keep yourself occupied as much as possible. That usually helps when you get waves of emotions like this, keeping busy, distracting your mind from overthinking.

Ever since your last encounter with Carmen, you’ve been so on edge. Always trying to do something, anything, so you wouldn’t have to think about what happened, why he acted like that to you. Because you know if you did, you’d just start blaming yourself again, and you’d be back to square one.

Your eyebrows raise at the name of the contact. You were sure he’d blocked you, or at least deleted your number after last time. He was avoidant like that, and frankly, you weren’t sure if you wanted him to talk to you again after that anyways. Maybe it was just to drive the point home, make you feel even more worthless.

Still, you were curious. Even if it was just to cuss you out even more, at least you knew what to expect, right?

[carmen]: hey, I really want to talk to you about what happened last time.

[carmen]: well

[carmen]: I want to apologise

[carmen]: but I can’t do that like this

[carmen]: I’d much rather do it in person

[carmen]: if you’d let me

[carmen]: meet me at odette’s tomorrow around 10? coffee’s on me, I just want to talk

[carmen]: please

The last message was sent minutes later than the rest, while you were reading them. He was desperate for an answer, and though you wanted to hear him out, to talk to him, something in you felt off about the whole thing. Like he was just doing this to clear off his own guilt, only to then ditch you just like he ditched you after culinary school. Because you’re rivals, apparently. That’s what you do.

But then there’s something else in you too. The part that’s still nostalgic about New York with him. About the glances back and forth when you were timed on preparing certain things, about the way he’d stare at you when you got feedback, the ignorant bliss you lived in. When you still believed he might have liked you just a little.

That part of you takes the upper hand when you reply and take his offer. Your heart is in your throat, nerves overtaking you already and you weren’t even with him yet. He had that effect on you sometimes, making it harder to breathe.

You wondered what that meant.

Carmen sits alone at a booth, all the way at the back of the café he’d chosen. It’s rather quiet, as most Mondays are, yet at the same time, it’s so loud. Loud in the way he hears the clinking of every spoon against porcelain cups, the crinkling of a napkin and the not so subtle ticking of the clock above the entrance. 10:06. You were late.

Suddenly he's filled with more regret than he's ever felt before. He's not ready to see you again, only to be reminded of how he made you cry, and of his own tumultuous emotions and shortcomings that lead to this moment. It's surprising how fast the emotions he associates with you changed; he's not angry anymore, he's scared, guilty, nervous. He wants to see you so bad and yet he feels like you'd be better off never talking to him again.

It's too late to make a run for it when you finally walk through the door. Hair a little damp from the rain, just a bit disheveled from what he could only assume to be rushing over to the café. And that same angelic smile you offer to the barista that greets you, the same one you'd offer him every morning, whether he looked at you or not.

He had no choice but to look now.

Your smile falters into something more nervous, a little melancholic, when your eyes meet his across the café. Though you knew he was going to be there, something in you feels surprised to see him again. Maybe it’s because he isn’t yelling at you or throwing insults at your head this time. Or maybe because he’s actually looking you in the eye. Since when did he get so good at that?

You sit down across him, taking off your coat and putting your bag besides you.

“Hey.” You smile again, much more awkward this time.

“Hey.” He returns the same thin lipped smile.

It’s quiet for a few seconds. Carmen swears the whole café has gone silent in that moment, leaving the two of you to listen to the sound of your own breathing and heartrate picking up. You’re not sure where to look, not being used to being in such an intimate setting with him.

“Do you want a coffee?”

“Sorry I was late.”

You both talk over each other, and the urge to chuckle about it overtakes you. Carmen can’t help but smile as well. You seem nervous, and somehow that puts him a little more at ease. Like he’s not the only one who’s in their head about it.

“Sorry, I, uhm, yeah— I would like a coffee.” You scramble over your words. “Please.”

“Sure,” he nods, “and no worries.”

“Hm?”

“That you were late. I haven’t been here that long either.” He lied. He’d been there half an hour early, cursing himself for letting him sit along with his thoughts for that long and psyching himself out into almost leaving.

You both order and another heavy silence sits between you two. You both know why you’re there, what needs to be talked about. Yet neither of you know how to bring it up.

You’ve lived most of your lives believing this version of each other you had in your minds. Because it kept you grounded. Because it was easier. He never let you in and for the longest time, you were at peace with that. You could have a slightly distant view of who he was, your classmate, your rival. And he could do the same. Keep you out, pretend you were there to keep him on his toes, to always try to outdo him.

Those facades of each other don’t work anymore. The real world has forced you to reconcile with each other, whether you liked it or not.

Your coffee gets brought to your table, and both of you feel this urgency to say something, anything, at least.

“The pastries here are good too, if you want to get one.” He finally broke the awkward silence. He can start with talking about food, something he knows. If all else fails, resort back to that.

“I haven’t tried a pastry besides my own in a long time. Maybe I could learn a thing or two here.” You admit. He knows that feeling. He’s not nearly as adventurous with his food choices as he wants to be, but as a busy chef on the brink of a new entrepreneurship, it’s usually beef sandwiches and frozen meals.

“I think yours were better though.” He takes a sip of his coffee.

“Huh?” You look up, realizing you were avoiding eye contact by staring into your cup.

“The danish I tried at your place. It was fire.”

“Oh. Right. Thank you, we make everything from scratch.”

“I could tell.” He takes another sip. “I guess I— I kinda forgot to tell you that. In the heat of it all.” He huffs to himself. “Food was so good it made me upset.”

“Upset?” His word use frustrates you. Upset is when they forget to give you your sauce with your order. What happened back there was not upset. That was rage. Wrath. You raise an eyebrow and he realizes he said something wrong.

“Well, more than upset. Listen, I— We need to talk about what happened.” His blue eyes peer into your own. They’re almost distracting enough to avoid you noticing his fidgeting hands.

“I’m listening.” You lean back slightly in your seat. You’d played nice with Carmen all your life, given him every chance to return it. Now it was his turn to try.

"Right." Of course he has to talk. It's his fault, isn't it? He's the one who snapped-- why did he even imply you'd have to explain yourself? He runs a hand through his hair, and there he goes again, eyes darting across the café to find something to focus on as he sought out the right words. You'd almost find it endearing, how bad he is at this, if it wasn't so important to you.

"You don't do this often, do you?"

"What, like-- meeting up for coffee?"

"Talking about stuff. Your feelings and shit." You hid your slightly amused smile behind your coffee cup before taking a small sip.

"Oh. Yeah, no, I-- I don't. Not until recently." He takes a deep breath. Just like they had told him to. “I’ve been going to this therapy thing my sister recommended. S’not much, but… It’s a start. Talked about the restaurant, my brother—“

“Your brother?” Your eyebrows raise slightly.

“Yeah, my— my brother. Mikey.” He looks a bit surprised. He’s come to the shattering realization that he’s never told you anything about his personal life, ever. You don’t even know about one of the most important people in his life, his main drive. You’ve known each other for so long yet you know so little. “I never told you about him?”

“You never told me anything.” You answer curtly. “We never really… Talked, you know?”

“Yeah— yeah, you’re right. I just thought… Wow.” He smiles, more out of shock than anything. He feels so stupid. How immature is it to be feuding this much with a person who doesn’t know anything about you?

“I guess I really don’t know much about you either.” His fingers rake through his messy curls again. “Makes me feel like even more of an idiot for going off on you like that. Like I had you all figured out.”

“Yeah, that was uh... That was something." The mood shifts a little. His smile fades as soon as he sees the melancholy in your eyes return. Of course it wouldn't be that easy for you to forgive him, to feel better about all this. "You know, I never knew you thought of me like that." A small smile graces your features. Somehow it's sadder than the expression you had before.

"I mean, I knew you didn't like me. I was pretty much at peace with the fact that you were never going to like me, either. But I never thought you hated me that much." You sniffle, trying your hardest to blink away any oncoming tears. "Like your life, your entire career, would have been easier without me there at all."

His heart aches at the sight of you, all teary eyed and trying to be brave. You're much braver than him. Sadness is a much harder thing to express than anger. He's starting to figure that out more and more.

"I don't hate you." He starts. He sees the confusion contort your features, and he knows he's not making any sense. "I mean I did-- I did hate you. Or, maybe not you, just... The fucked up idea I had of you. And-- and that was on me, that was my own fault." He feels an urge to touch you; to rub your back, hold your hand, anything to comfort you. It's tearing him apart to know that he's the cause of all this.

"But why?" A single tear rolls down your cheek, leaving a wet streak on your skin in its wake. "Why did you think that about me? I-- I get that we had a little rivalry going but jesus Carmen, did you really think I spent my whole culinary school career trying to outdo you?"

"To be honest... Yeah." He feels ashamed. So ashamed. He hopes the waitress doesn't walk by and listen to any of this, see you crying, and make you feel even worse. "Cooking was always just... My thing. If I was good for anything, it would be that. So seeing you do so well at something I'd started to base my whole existence around, it made me jealous, so fucking jealous." He meets your eyes, even if it's hard. You have to know he's being sincere.

"And it's-- it's unfair, it's so unfair to you, I know, and I'm really fuckin' sorry. I'm trying to work on myself, on everything, and I hope I can prove that to you." His face has that red tint you recognize whenever he's nervous or stressed. You can tell this is taking a lot from him.

"Is that really all? You were just jealous?" Your voice is quieter, fragile almost.

"I don't know. I wanna think it's that simple but I really don't know. There's a lot I don't understand about me, or you, or us. My mind doesn't know how to react when I see you anymore I think, now that things are different." He takes a deep breath, like saying that took a physical toll on him. "You have this-- this weird effect on me, and I don't know how to cope with it. I think it was just easier to be mad at you than to be anything else."

Anger is easier to express than sadness. The easiest out of all emotions, actually. Sometimes a little too easy.

You look to the side, wiping your cheek with the back of your hand. You huff out something close to a laugh, and though he’s caught off guard by it, he doesn’t mind it. Even if you’re laughing at him, at least that means you’re not crying.

“You’ve got issues Berzatto. You know that?”

“Yeah. I’ve been told.” He smiles, and it’s heartfelt this time. Not nervous, or sad, or awkward. He’s happy to see you a little more at ease.

“It’s just really crazy to me.” You trace your finger over the edge of your coffee cup as you talk. “I spent so much time in culinary school looking up to you. And then I find out you were always just trying to keep up with me.”

Carmen’s eyebrows raise a little at your words. “Looked up to me?”

“Yeah, like… Your drive, your passion, it’s so impressive. Always looking to improve, to do better, it just— it inspired me to do better too. As cheesy as that may sound.” You smiled. “S’why I opened up in Chicago, you know.”

“Really? Huh.” He leaned back in his seat.

“Because I wanted to work with you. Or for you. Either would have been fine with me.” You sigh. “I like owning my own place, but… I don’t know, for some reason I always imagined us working together.” You smiled. “Is that stupid?”

“No,” he replied quickly, “no not at all, I— I totally get that.” He’s quiet for a few seconds, and you can practically hear the gears turning in his head when he stares at you for a moment.

“I mean you’re a remarkable chef, really, like— insanely remarkable, and, well, we’re revamping the restaurant completely right now. We need people— more people, new people, and so, I was wondering— or I’ve been thinking—“ He stops himself from losing his breath from all his rambling, before he freaks you out even more than he already has.

“I want you to come work for us at the Bear.” He puts his hands together, as if he’s about to beg. “Please.”

You can almost hear yourself blinking out of confusion. There’s suddenly no more loud silences, no, the café seems dead quiet for once. All you can do is stare at him, wait for a laugh, because clearly this was a joke right? There’s no way Carmen Berzatto, chef supreme, arch nemesis of yours, would want you anywhere near him, let alone work in his own establishment.

“I’m sorry?”

He feels stupid already. You had every reason to say no. He’d been the biggest asshole in the world to you, he’d kept his distance all his life, and now he expects you to be his employee. Or, well, colleague, more so.

“I’m uh— we’re redoing the restaurant entirely. New equipment, new staff, new everything.” He swallows; the thought of everything that needed to be done arises for a moment. “We need people that work hard, who know what they’re doing and who are passionate about it. And I barely know anyone who’s better at what you do than yourself.” He pauses, waiting for you to stop him. But you don’t.

“So I’m asking if you’d work for me. With me. It won’t be anything like old days, if anything I— I need to learn from you.” He scoffs at himself. “Could take a thing or two about how to communicate with my staff.”

You smile, and he genuinely thinks you’re about to start laughing at him. You chuckle, but it’s not mean, it’s honest. Cute.

“You know, you have great timing.” You grin.

“I do?” the smile on his face reflects the hope he feels.

“One of my chefs wants to take over the place for me. Well, has been wanting to. I haven’t had an exact reason to say yes to her yet.” You shrugged. “Guess I do now.”

“…Is that you saying yes?”

“It’s definitely not me saying no.” Your eyes meet his, and there’s something between you both that’s different now. It’s not like there’s a switch that’s been flipped. It‘s more like this conversation was the turning page of a new chapter.

“I’ll think about it. I want to see it first. Maybe talk to some of your staff.” Carmen’s chest strains a little when he thinks about you interacting with Richie. Then he’s reassured when he thinks about you interacting with Sydney or Marcus. You’d fit in well, you have great feeling for people.

“Yeah— yeah, I get that. Totally. I can arrange that. Uhm, we’re renovating right now, actually, it’s all really kinda wild, but if you wanna stop by, chat with Syd, or Nat, or talk about the plans, let me know. I’m sure they’d love to talk to you.” He’s not lying, you seem like you’d get along well with them. Especially Sydney. Your thinking processes are very similar to each other. And to his.

Carmen gets the bill, even though you try to pay for it.

“It’s just a coffee, just let me get this one.”

You let him have this one, simply because you can’t argue with him after the conversation you just had. You’re in too good of a mood after his proposition too.

He walks you to your car, hands in his pockets when you reach it. It’s cold outside, and his breath comes out in visible puffs of air. His nose is a little red, but you think it looks cute.

“Thanks for coming, by the way,” he starts, “I know you didn’t have to. Like— after how I acted to you. But— But I really do appreciate that you’re givin' me a chance here.” He’d always been confused about how positive and faithful you were in people. He never thought he’d be grateful for those exact features too.

“No worries, I… I had a good time. I’m glad we talked.” The keys jingle as you fidget with them. Among them is a keychain in the shape of a cherry, he recognizes it. It reminds him of how little you’ve both changed. And how much.

“Yeah.” He sighs. Relieved, almost. “Me too. But I’ll let you leave, might wanna tell your chef the good news.”

“Good news?” You quirk an eyebrow.

“That you’re selling them the business.”

“I haven’t decided yet, Carm.” You scoff. But he can tell you have, you look too excited about it all to not have your mind made up yet. It excites him too. Scares him a bit as well, but what’s a new chapter without a bit of tension?

“Right. Sorry.” He huffs. “Just text me when you wanna head over to see the place. It’s uh… It’s a work in progress, but it’s getting somewhere.”

“I believe you. I’m looking forward to it.” You lean back against your car a little.

“Yeah. Me too.”

“See y’around?” You unlock it and walk up to the driver’s side.

“Course. Uh, don’t be a stranger.”

You grin, leaning down to get into the vehicle. “Never with you, Berzatto.”

He watches you drive off, standing in the cold for far longer than any sensible person has any business standing there. But he feels good. He feels warm.

He thinks about what you said to him before you left. You were right, you were never a stranger to him. You were always like a constant in his life; whether you were actually present or not. And even if he didn’t know that much about you, which he was insistent on changing, you were never a stranger.

Never with him.

tag list <3

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[crashtestjeffy]

This morning I read about a new trend in my province. It comes from landlords being so quick to evict people so they can re-rent at a higher amount. It's heinous. They say they are renovating or they need the premises for family or personal use. But are not. So what can happen is they then have to evict via the Landlord Tenant Board. And they will have to prove renovations or that they are now residing in the unit, or their immediate family. Which is where they get caught up. But still also end up succeeding 95% of the time.

Plus this eviction for profit scheme is so common our LTB court is so far behind in it's cases that some landlords are stuck in the process for a year to two years. Plus the tenant will simply stop paying in many cases. And a smart or informed tenant can make it a long and difficult process.

For landlords it's a bitch if the tenant is as shady as they are.

BUT! That is not the trend I learned about.

This is the trend.

Cash-for-keys.

Tenants are now saying "If you want me out you can go through the eviction process and it will cost you and I may win more than just the minimum. So instead...You give me money and I will just leave". Tenants are getting upwards of $50K for cash-for-keys. Enough to move and cover all costs and then some. And I love it! Look, I know there are a few decent people who happen to rent a property or are landlords as an investment and they are honest and understand, it's not just dollars and cents. It's people and their security and their lives and well-being. But they are few and far between. There are far, far, far, more dishonest, greedy and cruel landlords. Some of the worst are stock bros who buy property as speculation and then rent it out and post their lives of vacations and nice cars on IG. While their tenants take the bus and haven't been able to afford a vacation in years. But also the older Red voting cocksuckers who care about nothing but what works for them and what gives them every last dime. Landlords are not good people. They horde property and it costs us all. Without for-profit landlords there would easily be enough room for everyone and at an affordable rate. No one benefits from their endeavours but themselves. There isn't even a ripple effect to their money making. It's entirely selfish. Doing nothing for the community or society. So this is fucking beautiful! Tenants making landlords feel a bit of their dread. And you bet I would do it too. I mean cash-for-keys...Not be a landlord. Unless it was like for non-profit housing.

[gildedcageif]

hello!

I just wanted to tell u that I'm so excited for the demo!

I like the premise and all the male ROs hooked me!specially Emil,his supposedly daring smile is so enchanting Ig, also it's not much you see an artist RO and that's quite exciting to look forward to so, I think I will go for him first then Selim, he is just my type anddd -the Sultan will be the last since I don't like that he is having a Harem and all but he is still interesting and his endings seem good enough ( I do like the idea of my son ruling over)so yup.

also on a not important point,I really like happily ever after kind of endings so I'm just asking to see if you will have one of those . if not then it's totally okay ,i will play it either way!

anyway, I really can't wait for the demo and to meet them and I can also tell I will annoy you with lots of fan arts for this IF so be prepared !>;)

so yeah that's all,Good luck with your if!

I am literally crying at the moment😭 that was so sweet! I am working on the prologue and I hope not to let you down.

ROs

I am glad Emil is getting some love! He is a little shit (affectionately) and I love him for it. Him being an artist will come up throughout the game. For example at the beginning he has been sent to oversee a renovation/painting the walls of the harem, which is why he is allowed in there when usually only eunuchs are allowed inside. He will also get a 'paint me like your French girls' scene later in his route and if you get a high enough status later on, he paints a portrait of you so that later generations will know what you look like. He also canonically fills his sketchbooks with the MC when in love.

Selim is also a little shit, but he is a different kind. Emil hides his worse traits behind his smile while Selim is very honest about not being a good person and not wanting to be one. He very much has a bigger fish eats smaller fish kind of mentality. He only treats the people he cares about nicely (which the MC can become one of, though his route is a slowburn).

While Ahmad does have a harem, it is important to be noted that his route separates in two parts. One where you accept him having a harem and so he just continues doing his thing with you becoming the favourite and receiving the title of Haseki. Or... you can ask him to enter a monogamous relationship and by doing so break like half a dozen traditions and customs*. Which he will do because if you get to that point in his route, my man is fucking whipped. Everyone else will be really pissed at you both cause you just kind of fucked over the whole structure of the harem but like what can you do?

Keep in mind that the harem will not be officially shut down because it serves a practical purpose besides producing heirs. Most servants in the harem don't even meet the Sultan and mainly function as maids and all that cause someone needs to keep this place clean. They even get a salary for it! They are also often gifted to Viziers and Beys as tribute so they provide diplomatic benefits. The difference is that Ahmad won't be sleeping with any of them and basically cut all contacts, apart from his kid cause like that's his son and he lives in the harem so you need some contact. This is the equivalent of dismissing the Supreme Court in all but name for this world basically so he is already stirring enough shit.

Happily Ever Afters

....kinda yes, kinda no?

Here is the thing. It largely depends on what your MC/you ultimately desire. Fairytale 'everyone is happy and singing' endings are not a thing, but you can definitely be happy.

The Zephyran Empire is brutal. The harem even more so. To some extent, you will have to always fear for your life and that of your loved ones because you never know when someone might decide to poison you. The higher up you climb the ranks, the more protection you are afforded, but no one is truly invincible. Not even the Sultan.

The endings that kind of approach happily ever after in the typical sense typically entail leaving the Zephyran Empire. But even then depending on how you leave, if you run away for example, you may live in constant fear of the Zephyran hounds tracking you down and tearing you apart. And some routes don't even give you the option of escaping.

That does not necessarily mean you can't be happy. You can for example romance your RO and then stay happily together for the rest of your lives, till death do you part. You can change the system in positive ways to make the lives of others better. You can have a very good quality of life. You can be a beloved public and historical figure. You can have kids and grow old with them.

You can be happy, but you can't ever be 100% safe. And if you are, that probably means your hands are stained with blood and that is something you will also have to carry with you.

TLDR: you can have happy endings, but not really happily ever afters. There will be some give or take, whether that is always having to look out for schemes or being forced to do immoral things for the safety of the ones you love.

I tried to explain it as best as I could, but do ask me for more clarifications if I did not explain it well enough.

Fanart

Yes, please. Gimme all the fan art in the world. I am probably going to cry over each and every piece like the overly emotional idiot I am🥺💖

Thank you for the ask and all your support!!! You are the best💕

#anon ask #anon #asks #ro #emil #gildedcageif #you gonna make me cry #thank you for all the support

[vole-mon-amour]

literally trying to do 3 things at once, mixing fandom and irl. i've been trying to read Phil's interview for more than an hour now while battling an online store for a bill they refuse to give me while i also need to vacuum the entire apartment asap.

and people don't source the photos for the fandom as if everyone knows where every single pic came from and checks eveyone's accs on twt/ig/wherever every single day and know their usernames in the first place. hell, i don't even use twt and ig! link your sources, people, i am begging you!

not to mention that i still have to answer tons of messages, which i'd love to do if i just had the time to do one thing at once. all of that while i'm still trying to research info for the upcoming renovation.

i also need to go outside and buy some food and pick up some orders.

whats going on!! i'm overwhelmed.

#personal #ted lasso #fandom

[wiltingdecay]

oooh sfw no. 10 for both of the Rowan ships :eyes:

shipping headcanons ask game

10. Any pets? Or plants?

Rowlian: Oh you KNOW they've got a dog. They probably almost impulsively got one the second they moved in together, but the often-ignored rational parts of their brains reminded them that it would probably be a better idea to wait until sometime after they got back from Nevivon. I imagine they'd do a bit more travelling after Nevivon, like visiting Iniscrainn (AKA Not-Ireland where Rowan's from) to see Rowan's sister and her family, and whatever country Julian's parents are from, before eventually settling back in Vesuvia about a year post-route and only leaving for the occasional vacation. THEN they'd get their doggy, possibly as a wedding gift to each other. No idea what breed it would be, but since Julian appears to have some kinda fixation on wrinkly dogs (same tbh), maybe a shar-pei? Or possibly a red setter like Rowan's childhood dog Bailey. Tbh I don't think they'd be picky, they're both massive dog lovers so any dog is a good dog.

They wouldn't want to stop at just one pet, but considering they already have Malak and Sammi (Rowan's ferret familiar) and now a dog as well as the two of them in their tiny apartment above the shop, they're gonna have to leave it at that for now. They're pretty cosily settled into the apartment so it takes them a couple of years after they get married to actually buy a house - you can thank Rowan getting pregnant with oops baby Róisín for giving them the kick up the arse they needed to actually move into somewhere with space. Sometime after she's born and they've settled in they'd get a second dog, and a cat or two as well because Rowan's still lowkey a cat person.

Ruasha: OK some background info on the Rowan/Portia ship before I get into this; I also use it as my Courtier!Rowan AU, as it's sort of an inverse of the Rowlian timeline. There, Asra becomes the new Court Magician and moves out, and Rowan stays to run 100% of the shop. The opposite happens here; following in his late Auntie Gráinne's footsteps, Rowan becomes Nadia's new Court Magician and moves to the Palace to attend to his new duties. Totally didn't move so he could be closer to his girlfriend. Nooooo. Of course, Rowan only lived in his new Palace quarters for about five minutes before moving into Portia's cottage.

Pet-wise, this is already an improvement over the Rowlian timeline. Portia's cottage is a lot roomier than Rowan's tiny old apartment, so there's actually space for new friends!! Rowan will eventually want to get a dog, but they start off with just getting another cat for a multitude of reasons; easier to bring on ships whenever they have to leave for Portia's embassador duties! Quieter and smaller so it can more easily keep Rowan company when performing his duties as Magician! A new friend for Pepi! And hell, why stop at one? They have the space for more! Get another kitty! And maybe another! But as much as they'd love to become crazy cat ladies/enbies, they do both have the common sense to know they should probably stop at three. They'd probably only have more pets than three (plus Pepi and Sammi of course, but they're more self-sufficient as familiars so they don't really count) in the event that they moved into a bigger house, or if they renovated the cottage and built on more rooms.

Rowan would also use his Palace quarters often enough, even if he's not living there. It's a good place for him to work if he's not directly needed to perform any spells. I think he'd have an aquarium in there to help him relax :] he could probably stare at fishies for hours without getting bored. Maybe don't let the cats in here though.

(Answered for both pairings) As for plants; also yes. Rowan only has a tiny amount of backyard space (curses of living above a shop smack dab in the middle of a huge city ig), but they've been able to work with what they have and turn it into a flourishing garden. It's mostly magical herbs and other plants to sell in the shop, but there's quite a lot of flowers and a few little trees that are just there to provide ingredients for Rowan's soaps, and to look and smell pretty. When they eventually move, whether it's to Portia's cottage or their house with Julian, all of these are non-negotiably being brought over to their new house and being carefully re-planted in the (thankfully much more spacious) garden. Same story with Rowan's houseplants. His army of succulents and cacti and carnivorous plants and little flower pots and the occasional bonsai (all of whom are named) are his babies and they live wherever he lives, though he'd probably keep them in his Palace quarters in Portia timeline so the cats wouldn't knock any over.

#thank you!! #asks #drustvar #rowan aisling #julian devorak #portia devorak #rowlian #ruasha #i love you i'm glad i exist #partners in crime

[sk3let0rz]

I keep seeing videos on IG and TikTok that are like, "I'm doing XYZ so you don't have to!! :D" I think these videos are awful for a few reasons. Mainly because these content creators are typically doing fun and desirable things like renovating their historical house, competing in an amateur sport, backpacking through a country in South America, or raising baby goats. To act like the vast majority of people would not want to compete in equestrianism while in college is ridiculous. Most people would love to own a historical Queen Anne and renovate it to their personal interior design style. A very large majority of people would love to have some kind of 'cottage-core' faux-homestead hobby farm. The reason most people can't do those things is because they don't have the same privilege that those content creators have. Simply put they don't have the money or the time to devote to those interests.

For content creators to act like they're doing anyone a favor by doing some kind of fun, privileged hobby is disgusting. I've yet to see a content creator make a video about an unpleasant, but necessary task that they're doing to spare other people. Because they really aren't doing any of those things out of some kind of altruism. They are doing things they enjoy and are privileged enough to be able to do AND making videos about it to continue to fund their privileged lifestyle. By all means, make videos about your hobbies or travels, but don't pretend like you're doing anyone a favor. Especially because these things are inaccessible because of wealth disparity and capitalism, not because people don't want to or are otherwise incapable of doing it themselves.

Even more insidious is this implication that watching content serves as a replacement for actually doing things. YOU don't need to own a house, travel, or compete in a sport you care about, because xxJanieGirl237xx made a video about it. You can just watch the video instead! It's the same thing! Consumption is a replacement for action!

#media consumption #american culture is pretty much just all consumerism at this point #yes social media in general is so bad but also content creators are part of the problem #content creators plz develop class consciousness in 2024

[moonlightperseus]

It's completely fine dw about it. I haven't been a person so I took a while too I completely understand.

I find something I like and I stick to it lmao

I also have a friend going down the nursing path and she encourages me fully and is so excited and I love her and also she constantly tells me how every single nurse that knew she was going into nursing told her not to. So. Hopefully that works for you, the change could certainly be good. And it's good you have a backup if you need it. And you can ramble about your personal life I don't mind dw.

That's fine I get that!! Personally I would never read green lantern comics because ew green lantern but that's obviously a personal opinion. I get that. And that's fair!! I haven't read anything really with Donna Troy either aside from some parts in a Wonderwoman comic I never finished.

Hand sanitizer and I aren't as close as we could be due to the Multiple times I've sanitised my hands so I didn't have to fully wash them (I knew I only needed to wash them for mentally ill reasons) and then I proceed to actually just make dust appear all over my hands

I think something really sad happens (I promise that's not a spoiler I genuinely have no clue if it's even those books or even what it is) and that intrigues me because I love pain. But the used book is a large hurdle. I'm glad you're enjoying it!! I've only ever heard good things. And yes! I have seen, multiple times, unfortunately that's ✨American only✨ but thank you

Admittedly I haven't read anymore but that's the whole not a person thing it's not a comment on the comics. And that's fair!! I'm very excited for Kate!!

No that's fair I agree I power through so many comics just for Dinah

It should be grape juice honestly I think that would be more fun

Understandable. They need to love each other all the time constantly no matter what.

I wouldn't spoil it anyway but I can't remember. It's cool that you're having new bonus ideas it's always interesting to see what people think!!

Recently at my work we got a full renovation so we had construction workers in and there was this one guy I called Music Man Jake and he had Tons of batman tattoos (it might've just been 2 I don't remember) but I said "so you like batman?" And he said "yeah, y'know why? Because he can beat superman which means he's the best" and I was like no I don't think that's what that means I think they can both be beaten and said "yeah by who?" And I told him that I'm pretty sure there's like canon instances where Wonderwoman beat both of them and he told me that that was fake and I was lying.

It IS a strange one yeah that's for sure

well i have unfortunately since received incredibly different and more drastic work change news but i have new plans i place to some extent, but ultimately my goal to make it through the holidays (very busy time for my job) has remained. and 2024 will be. very different for me but i’ll get there when i get there. honestly it’s not entirely a bad thing for me personally but it does objectively suck. but putting off thinking about the full extent of all that bc like i said. gotta get thru december. but yeah that’s a little life update for ya.

you’re valid! honestly i probably wouldn’t read green lantern comics if i didn’t have friends who love them just bc they never really. called to me before? but one thing i love is trying media beloved to my friends. and with comics especially it’s been a lot of reading things that are recommended to me because there’s way too much for me to choose on my own.

like i said i met donna in the titans tv series (another questionable comic adaptation that i unfortunately am so attached to 😔) however figuring out what to read for her does feel incredibly confusing bc she’s not like. a big dc player ig? idk we’ll see what i end up doing i have one donna troy special run open on a tab on my phone to try.

SO valid re:hand sanitizer. it’s def more of a temp fix for me when i don’t have access to properly wash my hands until i can actually wash them. which yeah maybe not the best but like. it’s manageable for me which is all that really matters.

i have finished the first raven cycle book and kinda started the second and something really sad happening definitely would fit the vibe so far, i wouldn’t say anything incredibly sad has really happened yet but there’s def the looming constant of something that’s supposed to happen at some point bc of psychic visions and all that. i started on the second book but haven’t really had a chance to read much of it however i’m heading back to my parents tomorrow so i’m gonna listen to more on the drive. i think my only complaint of the series is there’s so much concentrated Teenage Boy (and Teenage Rich Boy too) and it can be a little annoying at times bc like. the two rich boys. they have money. go to therapy. consider alternatives. think things through a little more. but even they are growing on me (one more slow than the other but it’s happening) but really it’s been fun to read so far!

:/// aw it being american only sucks i’m sorry.

again you are so valid (i say that a lot i know ahsjjdsj) re: not being a person & also not having read any more bombshells. life can be a whole lot and boy can it be hard living in it sometimes so i completely understand. and the good thing is bombshells isn’t going anywhere so there’s no rush!

okay ive now finished injustice year 5 & ground zero! i didnt make any notes this time bc i kinda was just powering thru year 5 and then i binged all of ground zero in one sitting. ground zero i just read the other night and was more enjoyable being told through harley's pov however god putting up with joker was very hard im glad harley finally was able to tell him no and also beat the shit out of him. her harley horde was so cute and i loved that for her. also seeing the alternate universe justice league (or as i called them, the REAL justice league) seeing MY diana again <333 and CLARK !! god i missed that ah shucks goofball. and i really loved the ending of harley and ivy going off to the alternate earth to help that version of harley overcome her attachment to the joker <3333 ALSO HARLEY IVY ARE ROMANTIC!!! LOVED THAT!!

in my head i’m picturing that music man jake’s birth name is like. robert or something but music man jake had a better ring so that’s what he is referred to by.

i can’t remember what it’s from (i think it might be the justice league animated show??) but there’s definitely somewhere a bit where bruce is talking about his contingency plans if any of the core JL went rogue and he had these boxes full of said contingencies but he literally like made a point of showing that diana’s box is empty because she has no weakness. and that’s remained permanently burned into my brain ever since. i absolutely believe she is stronger than superman. in some/most(?) continuities she’s literally a demigoddess. clark’s just lucky bc earth’s sun is built different 😭. but yeah she did in fact very much kick clark’s ass in injustice and was only beaten in the fight bc sinestro attacked her from behind once she already had superman on his knees. so yeah. she can definitely beat superman. that’s my no 1 takeaway from injustice year four. (and then REAL diana being able to kick injustice diana’s ass tells me that real diana CAN ALSO kick superman’s ass should the need come) but yeah. i do really love wonder woman akshakbddjs

i have to say i’m a little hesitant to start injustice 2 just bc i *liked* how year five ended and i don’t want it to be undone BUT i wanna see HER (dinah) so i will read it. i’m just debating trying year zero first, any thoughts on if i should wait to do year zero until after injustice 2 or am i fine to read it now?

hope you’re doing at least somewhat well all things considered!!

#comics anon #abby replies #long post / #anon

[certifiedsoundwavesimp]

I absolutely hate my life and I resent existing.

My parents bought a new house recently and it was in a lil bad condition so we have to renovate a bit around the house. So obviously that cost money.

They always fight over the house. Every time one of them mentions money or the house they start fighting. It's not new to me, they've always been like that. But now it just gets so out of control. I still say nothing.

They spend a lot on the house and materials and furniture, and they need to save a lot too and I just want to help them but I can't because I'm too young to do anything or help and I hate it. I absolutely hate it.

But today, we went to buy some more materials, then went to get some Chinese take out. We decided to go to the house and maybe do a lil work there and eat a bit there instead of in the car. So we get there and I get to the kitchen. There was a drawing of a dick on the wall, drawn by my dad's permanent marker which he leaves at the house. So I look around for more vandalism, which was around three other walls in the house. I was really stressed bc I was wondering how ppl got in. We don't know for sure but we think someone jumped the fence in the back and got in using the backdoor which was open after my dad checked. My mom went to the house the last time so maybe she forgot to close the door. We dk

So then I end up stressing out so much more that I just had it. I started saying how this house never brought anything good and how I hate everything and everyone in the estate to my mom and then she ended up asking why and then I just couldn't hold it in anymore and my voice cracked and I almost cried (but no tears fell so ig I am a lil happy cuz I hate crying) and I walked away. Now I'm writing this and my parents are downstairs fighting a lil but they stopped now ig idk.

#rant post #i hate this #i hate my life #rant

[ninjastormhawkkat]

Help I'm slightly cringing at this but at the same time I want to tell someone about my cray-cray dream 😂

Part 6/???

Ninja...if your still reading this...thanks ;v;

Tw..same as before but now guns mentioned

For my first heroic act I decided to help out some of the villains and people in hiding.

There of course were some people who thought what macaroni was doing was good so they were her law enforcement. Also there was people who just didn't like the villains and wanted revenge.

I tired to sneak past them to let out the captured former villians. Keyword tried. Stealth wasn't my strongest suit at this point yet.

the guards had guns

they were actually SHOOTing at me. I got scared and panicked. And that's how i discovered I have super speed also. I tied them up and threw away their weapon. (Why did I toss them in a trash can? -face palm-)

The next day I celebrated my mini victory with breakfast with no one. and then I felt a bit sad bc living by yourself is lonely ig. And I didn't have friends??? 😨 wow even in my dreams I have no friends-

And then I read the news bc my favorite shows were cancelled. "Unknown maksed vigilante causes a major pause in renovation". Right that's what mayor macaroni called it. Renovation.

Under that there was a job calling for an intern for a new paper company trying to promote the mayor in a good light.

It was risky...

But decided it was the best way to be more effective if I worked in the inside a bit.

Also I needed money bc rent was sky rocketing.

okay this your a story from a dream you had. This explains things. I was mostly confused up until this point. Thank you for clarifying

#wordgirl #wordgirl au #unfair city au #wordgirl dream #melodythebunny #answered ask #tw: guns and violence

[lunima]

must i write to be an rper?? is it not enough to shitpost and leave.

#out. #i'm kind of tempted to reboot this blog bc its just... so messy and i don't even know what direction ez is going in anymore #i never actually lose muse for her tho which is nice #i just need to do some renovating ig #again #me after long periods of absence: REVAMP INCOMING!! #dont look @ me

[yourturntosimp]

Pls may I request some general Yandere keiji headcannons? Like what kind of yandere he is, how severe he gets etc

A/N: uh,,,,you can probably tell from all of the tws but,,,,aha yeah i think he’s one of the worse ones, relatively speaking--

TWs: Isolation, Threats of violence, Violence/Domestic violence/Domestic abuse, Torture, Forced dependency, Starvation mention, Raw meat mention, Abduction

🚨 I see Keiji as an isolation-centric yandere

🚨 But, he's....different in a sense

🚨 When I say isolation, I mean less of "hey stop hanging out with your friends and family, it makes me sad"-type isolation and more of a...

🚨 "go ahead and hang out with people, but if you become more than acquaintances, I will beat the shit out of them :)"-type isolation hgfdsdfgh-

🚨 You're his partner

🚨 Nobody else is allowed to have you

🚨 ...which is why you hardly have any friends, only ones that he "approves"

🚨 It's just your luck that those friends?

🚨 Are his friends

🚨 Not “friends”, rather people who are indebted to him for some reason or another

🚨 Who he specifically asks to tell him which one of them you're with and where you are at any given time

🚨 Family? Okay fine, he'll tolerate family 

🚨 Which means you get to see your family 2, maybe 3 times a month if he's feeling especially kind

🚨 But he'll do all the housework for you!

🚨 You'd think he was malewife energy considering how he takes care of all the cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc etc

🚨 Until you realize that he's doing all of this to make you fall out of practice in these basic things and become wholly dependent on him :D

🚨 Your things being slowly but surely going missing...

🚨 Any devices? suddenly gone one day

🚨 Your wallet, with all your ID, money, and cards? you put them down and never see them again

🚨 Any vehicle you owned? mysteriously trashed

🚨 But your wonderful bf replaces these things, of course!

🚨 ....and by that I mean he buys you a new phone

🚨 Good luck with anything else--

🚨 You don't need a wallet, he can pay for whatever you buy, it's not like you'll be going anywhere without him or someone he trusts

🚨 IDs? sure, you'll get them next week

🚨 next week never arrives-

🚨 Therefore, you have no choice but to stay with him

🚨 He's the one who technically owns and can shut off your phone

🚨 He's the one who's home you're living in

🚨 Who are you gonna run to? Your "friends", who would just coerce you into going back to him?

🚨 Your family? and with what vehicle did you plan on using to go see them? 

🚨 A cab, with no money? The bus or train, with no passes or ID?

🚨 On your own? with what vehicle? surely you weren't expecting to walk quicker than he could find you, were you?

🚨 Be warned, pulling a stunt like this makes him very unhappy with you

🚨 So unhappy, that when he inevitably retrieves you from wherever you ran off to, you're literally handcuffed

🚨 When you get "home", it's even worse

🚨 You've discovered that your lovely boyfriend has renovated a hallway closet in your home to accommodate you :)

🚨 And by that I mean he's just cleared it out and left only the hanger pole at the top

🚨 Which your hands get cuffed to, naturally

🚨 With such little space, you're forced to stand at all times

🚨 If you've got the misfortune of being short? cool, ig you're either standing on the tips of your toes or just hanging there with your legs going numb

🚨 Tall people, you're not safe either-

🚨 Imagine having to bend so uncomfortably, especially with your range of motion limited as well

🚨 Medium-heights, you're still in the same boat

🚨 No matter what stature you are, your spine is screaming-

🚨 He'll leave you in there for a couple of days too

🚨 He'll let you out after a third day, aka when you need water or else you could die-

🚨 He'll let you eat and have something to drink, sure

🚨 And then scold you for pulling such a stupid stunt

🚨 Even if you tell him that you're sorry, that you've learned?

🚨 You're still locked inside of your home for weeks at a time

🚨 And when you're let out?

🚨 No belongings

🚨 When you go outside you're with him or a "friend", no in-betweens

🚨 Family visits cut down to once or none per month

🚨 And for the brave souls who would still defy him after the closet situation and would still call him on his gross behaviour,,, 

🚨 Yall truly fear no hell huh--

🚨 He'll take this as a sign that you haven't learned from your time in the closet

🚨 So what's the next step?

🚨 He hurts you

🚨 Never with his hands, no, he thinks it's "too far" to actually beat you

🚨 So, I hear you asking....what does he do?

🚨 Well, he puts you back into the closet

🚨 And he uses knives on you

🚨 And cigarettes

🚨 And leaves you without food or water again, maybe one or two weeks at a time now

🚨 The only food he'll feed you every now and then?

🚨 Raw meat

🚨 It doesn't matter to him if it's things that could make you seriously ill, like chicken or pork

🚨 And if you would be ungrateful and refuse to eat?

🚨 Fine, he'll just leave the plate there until you're "ready to eat"

🚨 Knowing damn well that there's no way you'd ever be able to with no mobility to your arms, your mouth covered, and the plate on the ground-

🚨 So now, you've got no choice but to hang around hehehe-, with only your hunger and the smell of raw, rotting meat as company until Keiji comes back

🚨 Even when you succumb and apologize because you don't wanna fucking die of starvation, raw meat, and wounds-, he will never fully forgive you, much less forget what you've done

🚨 So you just...never leave the house without him by your side

🚨 Especially with him forcing you outside if you protest, with wounds so bad that you can barely stand

🚨 You didn't really think the punishment was over so soon, did you?

#zuzu writes #keiji shinogi #yttd keiji #yttd x reader #yandere yttd #tw yandere #yandere #headcanons #kgs #kimi ga shine x reader #kimi ga shine

[caramelcal]

rock n roses

summary: aurora is a florist who owns a shop next to calum and ashton’s tattoo parlor. unfortunately, their disruptions are driving away her customers and she needs to put an end to it, even if she doesn’t like confrontation. 

word count: 2.25k

a/n: enjoy ig lol...there isn’t any cal in this but he shall be integrated if you guys want a second part/continuation...send me ideas for the next parts lovelies lol

Aurora has always had a passion for flowers. Maybe it was growing up with a mom who was a florist and owned a shop that had spiraled her into her love for all types of plants, but Aurora surely seemed to have a knack for the business. 

Maybe it was in her DNA. Her mother, and her mother before that, always seemed to have a love for plants, all shapes and sizes, and colors. I mean, Aurora was named after sleeping beauty, her mother did always have a thing for roses. 

At the ripe age of twenty-one, the shop that was passed through generations was given to the young girl. Of course, her mother partially ran the shop, still doing some of the business sorts of stuff, but she had taught Aurora the ropes, and she was surely getting a handle on things. 

For the first seven or eight months, everything was pure bliss. The florist was running smoothly under the hands of the young, sweet girl and the customers loved her. They were making great profit. Renovations were done to the building, keeping it homely ad inviting but also adding her own modern twist, making sure it didn’t look outdated. The shop was thriving. 

That was until the old café right through the wall was turned into a tattoo parlor.

 Aurora had always been accepting, always welcomed people with open arms, but she had heard stories. Tattooists were intimidating, to say the least, and from what she had heard from the customers that passed by, they were too. Admittedly, Aurora had never come face-to-face with the owner of the tattoo shop. 

One morning was particularly striking to the pink-haired florist, an older more regular customer by the name of Doris keeping her company. Doris had been a customer of the shop for a long time, ever since Aurora’s grandmother had owned the shop. Though, the majority of the time, Doris didn’t plan on buying anything, instead finding herself enjoying the company of the sweet florist that would listen to all of her rambles. 

“I tell you, Aurora! Those days were amazing. You know you could walk around without a fear in the world, people would welcome you with open arms, you don’t get that much nowadays,” Doris rambled on to the young girl who flashed her a small smile, working busily to arrange bouquets for an order that was getting picked up in less than half an hour, “That’s why you’re an angel, my dear. So polite and kind, welcoming everyone even little old me! Those menacing boys next door can’t say the same.”

Doris grumbled the last part in disdain, face scrunched up in annoyance as Aurora furrowed her eyebrows, “What are you talking about, Doris?”

“Those boys next door. The ones that own that blasted tattoo parlor,” Doris elaborated, pointing a thumb next door as she shuffled around on the stool that Aurora kept just for her. 

“What’s wrong with them?”

“What’s wrong with them?” Doris repeated the florist’s question in disbelief before flailing her arms around as she spoke again, “Have you gone deaf, dear? Do you not hear the devil’s music that they blast? The paint job that they’ve done on that lovely shop? Painted it black, dear! Black!”

“Yes Doris, I know,” Aurora laughed lightly, eyes fluttering over to Doris as she tied the bow on the bouquet, setting it in a vase, “I think it’s unique, fits their shop. Plus they haven’t done any harm.”

“Oh Aurora,” Doris tutted in disappointment, “They ruin your business. Every single day at ten o’clock they start blasting that devil's music and it’s so loud that I can barely even hear you! People stop coming to you while they’re open because it’s so disruptive and uninviting.” 

Aurora fell silent for a moment, thinking about what Doris said. Most likely, Doris was just being dramatic, she had a knack for that but maybe she was telling the truth. Sure, the tattoo parlor's music was a little loud, but was it that bad that it deprived her of customers?

The florist’s eyes flickered up to the clock on the wall, 9:50 am. The tattoo parlor would be opening up soon, and Aurora guessed she would have to keep her eye on it. Did she lose customers because of them?

  That’s what Aurora did. She watched, observed her busiest times, looked over past records, seeing how much she sold. What was worse was that Doris was telling the truth. Aurora’s busiest time for the first seven months was at 1 pm, now it was at 8 am, and she had lost a fair amount of profit in the past two months since the tattoo parlor had opened up.

Aurora also observed how people subtly complained about the music next door to her, “the people next door are quite loud, aren’t they?” 

It’s a coincidence, Aurora had tried to convince herself. Maybe it was a coincidence but it couldn’t hurt to ask them to turn their music down, right? What could possibly happen?

The girl paced lightly, murmuring to herself, hyping herself up almost to go and talk to the owner of the tattoo parlor. “They can’t be that scary right? All you’re doing is asking them if they can turn their music down, that’s not bad. All you have to do is be polite. I’m sure they’ll be respectful about it.”

“And if they aren’t I can beat them up with my walking stick!” Doris shouted, interjecting into the florist’s hype speech for herself, making her smile, “Don’t worry dear, I’ll hold the fort down here in case anyone comes in. I’ve watched you make enough of those flower things that I could do them with my eyes closed!”

“Thanks, Doris. I’ll be back soon.”

Soon enough, Aurora was walking out of the flower shop and over to the tattoo parlor. She noticed where the walls joined one another, the stark contrast between a very pale green and white of her shop to the black paint that was on the walls on theirs. Opening the glass door to their shop, Aurora realized that it was her first time speaking to her neighboring shop’s owners.

That was rude of her, she noted. She should have at least came and said hi; introducing herself. It was too late for that now, however, as she stood wide eyes, locking eyes with the very tall blue-eyed man in front of her.

“Hi,” She somehow managed to splutter out, nervously looking down at the white converse on her feet.

“Hiya,” The deep Australian accented voice had called out, his blue eyes never leaving the very flustered girl, a smirk on his face, “how can I help ya?”

“I- uh- I’m the owner of the flower shop next door. My name’s Aurora, I need to speak to you about something, hopefully in somewhere a bit more private,” Aurora didn’t want to cause a scene in public, not that she thought it was going to cause a scene anyway, she just wanted to be more professional about it. 

“I’m not the owner of this place if that’s who you want to speak to,” The blond man spoke, “I can go get them for you if you want.”

“If it isn’t too much of a bother, then yes please.”

The man didn’t speak again, instead, he rose off of his seat, showing off just how tall he was. He was well over six feet, Aurora, however, stood at a measly five foot three, the man surely towered over her. 

He didn’t stay though, disappearing off into a back room, leaving Aurora standing awkwardly to herself. It was about opening time for the tattoo parlor, with Aurora hoping she could catch them before they got busy. There was one customer in currently, getting a tattoo done on his arm, the sound of a tattoo gun buzzing through the shop. 

Their music was louder in here than it was in her shop and honestly, Aurora was wondering how they weren’t all deaf yet. Maybe they were just used to it, they probably had loud music before they moved to this shop, so she wouldn’t be surprised. 

Vinyls were held on one of the walls, the one furthest away from her, all sorts of dark and strange vinyls she had never seen before being presented proudly. The other walls were an organic-looking red brick, some spray-paint coating it. The parlor had a unique vibe, that was for sure. 

“Hey, kid!” The blond man had appeared yet, holding the door to the back area open as he gestured over to her, “C’mere, Ash wants to talk to you.”

Aurora was frozen for a second before sheepishly nodding and scurrying off after him, going through the door to the backroom. However, it wasn’t a backroom and instead was a hallway, leading to three different rooms. This shop was bigger than hers, she noted. 

“Second door to your left,” The blond man had said before leaving the hallway back to the front area, leaving the girl by herself. She knew she shouldn’t have been scared, but she couldn’t help her heart beating wildly in her chest.

This ‘Ash’ person that blondie had mentioned must have been the owner, that was all that Aurora could gather. Aurora quickly arrived at the door, gingerly knocking on it, not letting herself in. She didn’t want to cross any lines or act like she could go wherever she wanted, even if she had been invited in. 

The door quickly swung open, a tall man, but not as tall as Blondie, looking down at her with a small smile on his face. He also had blond hair, shorter than Blondie’s though. Admittedly, he didn’t look as scary as Aurora had imagined he was going to be. Hardly any tattoos to be seen on his body, and a gentle, dimpled smile on his face. He was insanely attractive, something that even Aurora couldn’t ignore.  

“Hey sweetheart, what can I do for you? Tattoo? Piercing? I think you’d look lovely with a nose piercing!” If Aurora wasn’t blushing because of the pet name, she certainly was when she flashed him another dimpled smile, causing her to shuffle awkwardly on her feet and send the man a smile. 

“I- no. I’m not here for a nose piercing or anything. I own the flower shop next door. My name’s Aurora,” The florist was far too anxious. She felt bad, in all honesty. The man, Ash, had been nothing but nice so far, he seemed so bubbly and kind, yet she was about to berate him for being disruptive. How could she possibly do that?

“Ashton,” He responded with a nod, suddenly becoming a tad more professional, leaning against the desk of the room they were in. It was the back office, but Aurora wasn’t entirely sure what the other two rooms were for, she wasn’t familiar with tattoo parlors in all honesty. Ashton had his arms crossed over his chest, not in a way that was stand-offish but in a way that made him appear more seriously, “If this is an official manner I can get the other owner in as well. He’s currently on break but I can give him a call.”

“No, no. That isn't necessary don’t worry,” Aurora smiled shyly at him, tucking a strand of her cotton candy-colored hair behind her ear, “I just wanted to introduce myself, I guess. I felt bad that I haven’t come over and introduced myself considering you guys have been here so long.”

A sly smile comes onto Ashton’s face, “It’s alright we haven’t been very hospitable. We should have come over to say hello too.”

Aurora awkwardly smiled at the man, who must have been maybe a few years older than her, shuffling from foot to foot. She watched as his eyes widened and his smirk slowly widened, eyes catching back onto hers.

“You know you should come with us to a bar tonight. Me, Cal, and the guys are going out, then I can introduce you to the rest of them, too!” 

“I don’t think it’d be fair for me to impose-” Aurora started to excuse but Ashton flailed his arms in disagreement, shaking his head and cutting the florist off.

“Don’t be silly! I’m sure Cal and the rest would love to meet you. Plus, Luke will be there too,” Blondie, “We aren’t that scary, Sweetheart, promise. It’ll be a laugh, you should come. You can bring whoever you’d like also, the more the merrier!”

“Sure,” Aurora nodded her head, agreeing mindlessly as Ashton beamed at her.

“Great! See you at 7? Here’s my number in case you need to call me,” Ashton took a business card out of his pocket, taking out a red pen and circling a phone number which must have been his own, before giving the card to the florist. 

Minutes later, Aurora entered her shop again, mouth slightly ajar, staring down at the business card. She was still processing what had happened only minutes before, nerves filling her stomach. 

How was she supposed to explain she could barely hold her alcohol? 

“How was it, dear?” Doris called out to the girl, making the florist’s eyes snap up to meet the older woman’s figure.

Aurora stayed silent for a few moments, getting her apron and hooking it over her head, nodding her head and clearing her throat, “Well. It went well.”

What had she gotten herself into?

#cashton x reader #calum hood x reader #calum hood x you #calum hood x y/n #calum hood x oc #ashton irwin x reader #ashton irwin x oc #ashton irwin x you #ashton irwin x y/n #cashton x oc #5sos x reader #5sos x oc #5 seconds of summer x reader #5 seconds of summer x oc

[benevadeca]

forgot to post my part 3 lb!

i think the intro scene is rly interesting, bc from the other two stories we've kind of gotten an opinion of the house, so seeing it go from this overwhelming force to like. a shadow of its former self. and there's this person trying to fix it up, and even to someone who's trying to "save" it the house rebels against it / messes w/ her (all the wallpaper falling off after she'd gotten all of it on and was feeling smug of it). like ofc it's also just the house being reflective of what's put into it (rosa who's all work and no play, doesn't take care of herself and lets herself fall into disrepair / how her attempts at keeping busy to distract herself are very fragile and falling apart)

but it's still THE house! her throwing that wallpaper scrap to the floor and a floorboard literally kicking her in the head for it. only compared to the other kinds of things the house "did" to its former residents its like. almost tame? in comparison. less mind-games, more direct. even the house is perhaps tired of being what it's always been. even someone so drunk on their own misery, who's so against accepting others, can get sick of themself and want to change? maybe

GOD the entire "it's rent day" convo hitting COMPLETELY different knowing the full context of things. going in w/ the assumption that the world might be flooded but some things seem to be function, so yeah why not money ig! and elias' flippant attitude and "what about fish you need to eat" seeming like an deflection when it's really like. concern for rosa lmao. them being on very different pages

hhh the pink fllyod parody album

OOF her convo w/ jen and jen mentioning the flood "they left- because of the flooding" and it's specifically when the flood is mentioned rosa just ignores it and doesn't talk until the conversation is pushed forward. girl ur denial is showing.

"you could try, it wouldn't hurt" with the hint of getting sick of this, like it's a conversation they've had before something she's been trying for a while. great worldbuilding for part 3 i rly wish it had expanded more on it!!

rosa talking abt the renovations "the house deserves it" GIRL what about YOU!!!

ok i am trying to think of timeline. so last time elias paid rent with real money was 12 weeks ago, her board had the last of her other tenants move out around then as well. but jen's paid her rent in "obsidian crystals" for a while? ("i've got about 10 of these"). jen met cosmos 7 years ago in a throat singing class.

also "everybody left when the rains came" not calling the flood what it was cool

also by the timeline of the flooding moving up itself it seemed very quick.

that there are two seperate scenes of rosa turning on the water and it being clogged before gushing out. gee i wonder what that's a metaphor for certainly not her clogged "chakra" channels.

UGHH her standing in the doorway and it being open for her and her turning away from it.

is it just me or did they use jen and cosmos' character models for her parents. like not EXACTLY but the white cat/long hair orange cat...girl ur issues <3 (also her DIY book girl u do everything urself accept help from others pls)

ok genuine question cosmos coming and immediately giving jen weed. isn't weed poison to cats like i know this is fantasy anthropomorphization but poison is poison.

rosa getting excited abt cosmos and jumping up and down only to immediately tamp down on her own excitement. this cat can fit forms of repression you've never even heard of before.

cosmos mentioning "reawakening" wow of both rosa and of the house. getting to know the house, starting with the surface but it's after the scene of everyone having fun together within it. nourishing the soul of the house. also that it's in this extended portion of it, the greenhouse is i think where that empty lot was in part 2. from something lifeless and dead to something used to grow food for everyone to congregate in :) i love them.

rosa and elias' convo by the boat and it's elias saying "by tomorrow the water will be in the house" is the thing that rly makes rosa blow up at him. that's the thing she's trying to avoid thinking abt dude <3

the 3rd scene w/ her and water, the water coming out murky but after a bit clearing up again. wow almost like some outbursts are needed.

jen on cosmos "he's only here to help you move on" literally saying he came partly specifically to help rosa's friends stage her an intervention. that it was only the repeated upheaval of her (false) sense of comfort being chipped at that gave her the wakeup call she needed. when u can only escape the overwhelming prescense of ur fucked up nightmare house when ur friends hotbox it for u when ur not looking.

rosa's relation with the house really seems the most ambiguous. like with the previous 2 there was some like. explicit hostility mixed with possession. but for this one the possession is more like, dependence. and also greater self-awareness at least with self-to-house. like she's aware she's trapped herself and it's something she's settled into willingly, it's the outside she's in denial towards.

"i've been fighting this house for years", her asking the house, beseeching, "i want to leave", the studio apartment sign falling over when the house transforms into a boat. also maybe parallel the skylight opening up and the water rising to the house's level with the part 1 "a light on top of the hill, the envy for miles around" not much to see in a fog! the ground has risen up around you.

also random thing but the weathervane when cosmos first appears // it at the end i think they're both facing west? not sure what that means but something i noticed!

cosmos name being expansive being freedom/limitlessness but distinctly cosmos which is defined as "The universe regarded as an orderly, harmonious whole." distinct from the self-contained inner disharmony/chaos rosa (and all the protgs) inflict upon themselves/have inflicted upon them bc of their inability/refusal/denial of connection with others

the end song being sung by the part 2 guy....."a home is a place love and life can mix" "not some place you pour your life into" // his line "i've poured my whole life into this house!" UGHHH. Also fucking "if you're looking for a 3 story monstrosity" like yes three levels three floors three stories in an anthology. Shut the up

BUT YEAH the movie rly was explicit in all 3 parts with its themes/how the house reflected the owners (part 1: house reconstructing itself to chase some ideal "better" version of itself but in doing so made it more and more inhospitable (changing yourself to fit others) // part 2: putting on a flashy exterior, to the point of impracticality, and to the neglect of internal structural issues (failure to look at reality and take responsibility, and in doing so/attempting to push off your problems unto others will further isolate you which leaves you vulnerable to manipulation/dig yourself into the pit)

ALL of the parts having the general moral that, in attempting to abide by what society deems desirable/gives status, it's inherently doomed to fail bc you're chasing an IMAGE of something, something projected rather than anything actually attainable/sustainable.

also i do kind of go back and forth on my thoughts on part 3, bc on one hand i think it did a really good job, better than part 2, in like sinking the audience slowly into the character/reality disconnect (tho ofc the dentist revelation is the MOST slap in the face part of the movie lol).

but yeah, in presenting rosa in this very reasonable put-together 'stable' position as a landlord. like, the previous 2 were presented initially with having something eating at them/in fragile positions. but she starts out with having a "real job" with the failure being lack of environmental support- only, nope! she has the same issues the others had.

like yes she might 'own' the house, but what is ownership compared to real skills like fishing and gardening when the arbitrary structures of capitalism fall away? when it is community and industry and music and art that are uplifting?

but yeah kind of mixed feelings bc i do wonder abt the intent of having a her as the only one with a real "happy" ending, like i do enjoy the contrast between her / her tenants, that it was the free-spirit vagabonds who all had "useless" skills who were the ones who were necessary to uplift her. and it was both her initial position of, "affluence", and her kindness ('kindness' ig) ((in despite her lack of desire to face reality that she didn't just kick everyone out when they didn't pay rent)) that gave her the security to let people into her life despite her personal issues.

sooo idk compared to the other two parts, like the isolation of the others show yeah people need these supportive structures if they want to be able to keep themselves afloat*. so in a way like having the one who gets 'saved' even in an apocalypse it's a landlord lol. tho ig maybe in the end freeing herself from that title/changing the very nature of her identity and the house's identity (and physicality) adds to the house's change as well? lol it is only thru the abolition of capitalism and monetary systems that the house is freed from its burden as a status symbol ("house") and is able to become what it's always, in his blackened rotten beams, wanted to be ("home").

* (i saw another post talking abt this somewhere), and there are many structures in place that prevent this (that prey on the poor (part 1) and don't have any security nets for people who fall through the cracks (part 2) ((and that even w/ the 'pest' themes of part 2 that i'm still a bit meh on, i think the point is rather that regardless of who society deems irresponsible/blames for their own failure/is unwilling to engage with on a human level, no one deserves to be stuck in a place like where the renovator ended up))

#mine #lb #the house 2022 #even more rambling than the previous somehow. rip!

[obeymeplz]

one of those days ll mammon x gn reader

LISTEN guys... I’ve peeled through every single fanfic and one shot of my boy boy that I can find.

I’m done, finished, kaput. And I need content. So I decided to make my own.

2k words, ft. Belphie my salty homie

Warnings: mean(ish) mammon (because I’m a hoe for angst, highly implicative of smut...?, cussing...?

Enjoy ig ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ sorry if I suck LOL

It was one of those days, and it all began when you dropped your plate of pickled pancakes (it’s an acquired Devildom taste) all over your crisp, white shoes. Beel involuntarily frowned at the waste of food, while the other demon boys snickered at your inherent clumsiness, Lucifer merely rolling his eyes before excusing himself from the table. But someone was missing that morning.

From that moment on, you knew nothing would be going your way.

Your bad luck followed you to second period, where you received a colossal “F” on your scrying test, and then to lunch where Satan and Asmo had to pull you out of a fight with a succubus who had thought it her business to label you a “suck up whore”. This was a name you were used to; from the moment you arrived, every demon and unthinkable hoard in the Devildom believed you to be sleeping with every brother in the House of Lamentation, playing through all of them with zero consequences. Despite the utter falsity of these accusations, they hurt no less every time you had to hear them.

And to top today’s cake with a juicy red cherry, the one single person who could make all your worries melt away with just a smile had been nowhere in your sights all day. Mammon was indeed the sunshine you needed on this dreary afternoon, with his dumb tinted glasses and cocky remarks, yet endearing eyes and wondrous grin.

Staring out the window of an empty chem room, waiting for someone to be available to walk you home, you realized that it was an odd day - such a new world you’d been thrown into, yet so quickly you had familiarized yourself with your new “normal”; and now that normal wasn’t there. There were certain things you knew, day in and day out.

The sun will (sort of) rise.

The sun will (kind of) set.

You live in Hell.

Mammon will always be there.

These things you counted on to be true, because if they weren’t, you weren’t entirely certain how you’d keep your sanity intact.

“For a human who’s supposed to be completely inferior to our kind, you sure do seem to think a lot”.

Belphie.

“Gee, Belphie, you know, “you sure do” have a way with words. Thank you! I just feel so much better”, you scoffed a retort as you swung your legs over the ledge of the window to face the cow-haired boy, clearly having just woken from sleeping through 7th period. He only smirked at you.

“I heard you need a warm body to walk next to, and I figured I could use the company. Home?”

You smiled smally as he helped you to your feet. “Yeah, home sounds nice”.

He reciprocated the smile.

“So, what really has you down in the dumps?”

You shrugged as you tried to formulate a thought that might make sense to him.

“Well… I guess I-”, you had to cut off mid sentence, because something familiar began to tickle your ears — a laugh, one you’d been aching to hear all day.

“Belphie, is that… is that Mammon? Where has he been all day?”, you were asking the question, but your legs were already moving you out the door away from the answer. He replied, but you could only piece together bits as you got further away from him, following the voice of the snow-haired boy instead. Argument, Mammon left, crashed with friends, all night, definitely in trouble. That’s what you processed.

“Mammon-” you rounded the corner, but halted in your tracks, backing behind it when you came near face-to-face with a group of demons much taller and much stronger than you, energies darker than the ones you were used to being surrounded by.

He hadn’t heard you.

“Bro, that was a riot. You gotta swing with us more often my man”.

“Ya know Lucifer wouldn’t even think ‘bout lettin’ me ride with you guys on the day-to-day. ‘Sides, I got things to do”.

“You mean a human to babysit?”, your breath caught in your throat. You heard Mammon scoff.

“No! I do what I want. They’re cool.”

Your heart pounded into your throat (but that’s something you’d never let him know). You were just friends, and you weren’t sure if you’d ever be more. Sure, he was terrible at hiding how much he cared about you, and sure, he was ridiculously possessive over you, but he’s also the Avatar of Greed, so how much of that is him needing you versus his sin needing you? The way you saw it, neither of those things amounted to relationship-worthy love.

The conversation was droning on, and you’d almost forgotten you were listening.

“So, you fuckin that then or what?”

Your head snapped back into full awareness, the tone of your feelings completely changing every second, anxiously awaiting your favorite demon’s reply. Why were you so nervous? He wouldn’t lie about you, he wouldn’t slander your name — not with what people already thought of you because you lived in a giant house with 7 painfully-attractive, desire-filled, and experienced, rulers of Hell.

“Yeah, the rumors true?”

Mammon’s voice came next at a grumble.

He stuttered it.

You almost didn’t catch it.

You must not have.

“Y-yeah. No, I mean absolutely. I mean, how could a human even turn down The Great Mammon? They couldn’t, and they don’t.”

You must not have heard it — but you did, and you almost wished you hadn’t

Before your thoughts could catch up with your limbs, you found yourself rounding the corner yet again. “Yeah, how could they not, Mammon?”, your voice cracking at the end, despite all your efforts to come across smooth and level-headed.

“MC..”, Mammon’s mouth instantly hung open, his chill facade easily melting away. He looked almost identical to a lost puppy within moments.

“Oh you can bet, Mammon fucks me every single night — no feelings involved, because that’s just the kind of big man he is. He’s even fucking me RIGHT NOW. Right, Mon?”, you seethed his nickname through your teeth. Tears were starting to puddle at the lids of your eyes, threatening to expose just how much you really cared for him, and just how unspeakably broken you felt in that moment.

“M-MC. Pl- please don’t —“, he was already approaching you, pushing past the group of boys. You turned on your heel, catching the watching eyes of Belphie at the end of the hall. You ran for him until you were in reach to yank on his arm, pulling him behind you, as fast and as far away from that school, and Mammon, as possible.

“MC!”

Mammon will always be there.

Mammon would not always be there. This was a new truth you heartbrokenly added to your list.

———————————————————-

Your room was icily cold, numbingly so.

You always kept it like that when you were sad, hoping maybe some of the lack of feeling in your body would translate to your heart.

Hoping you wouldn’t feel so shattered.

You trusted him. And he broke it. He broke you.

These are obvious statements, but as you laid solemnly tucked under a heap of blankets, you couldn’t help but run them, and the scene from today, over and over again through your brain.

Maybe you were overreacting?

Mammon had always been the brother, despite his tsundere attitude, who protected you. He never lost his cool with you, and he never treated you poorly. Maybe he made a few callous remarks here and there, but they were gentle underneath, and just his own way of showing you a glimpse of the angel wings he’d lost a long time ago.

Mammon had become your home.

“MC?”

The voice was muffled through the door, but it was undoubtedly him. You weren’t sure if you were shocked, happy, angry, or assured that he had come, but either way, you wouldn’t dare leave your covers to open the locked door. Not yet.

“MC. Please. Open the door. I-I just wanna talk to ya…”

You didn’t budge.

“I will kick this down, ya know”. You were both quiet until you heard some shuffling outside. Your eyes went wide, ready for a foot to come flying through shards of your door. You scrambled to your feet, stumbling over to the rusted knob.

You cracked it open.

“Please don’t. I don’t want to sleep in Beel’s room another week because my room needs renovating for the millionth time.”

Mammon smiled shyly at you, apologetically more than anything.

“Can I.. ya know, come in?”

You pulled out of the way, making just enough room for the tall, lean demon to slip through the crack in your door.

The moment he stepped in, he was engulfed in darkness, nothing but dim threads of moonlight that seeped in through your curtains to highlight the sharp features of his face and body. He’d shed his jacket since earlier, leaving him in his fitted black tee and jeans.

So beautiful.

You mentally slapped yourself for even thinking about it.

You were mad at him.

“So. Please talk. I’m exhausted and wasn’t planning on even looking at you tonight.” You were curt. But you had to be, or else you wouldn’t be able to hold anything back, whether that be anger, or adoration.

He looked taken back — hurt — too. He glanced at your bed and the candy wrappers strewn about the floor. Mammon wasn’t too bright, but he knew enough to know when someone had been crying for well over an hour.

On a normal occasion, he would’ve thrown himself onto your sheets, rolling until he found a comfortable position to scroll his D.D.D. and poke at you for hours.

But tonight, he awkwardly crossed his arms and shuffled his feet, clearly unsure of what to say first — or at all, for that matter.

“I-“

You raised a tired eye, cueing him to spit whatever excuse he could possibly say out.

“I get a bad rep sometimes.”

What?

“For liking ya.. Hanging with ya.”

If this was an apology, it was the worst one you’d ever heard in your life.

“Oh? Sorry. I didn’t mean to be a burden to your bravado. Let me continue to take myself out of the picture.” You pointed at the door for him to leave, ready to break down the moment he walked through.

“No! That- that’s not what I meant.” He made eye contact for a mere moment, silently begging for you to see his sincerity.

“Is anything ever what you mean, Mammon?” The use of his full name in a mix with that tone clearly set him back, but he shook it off hurriedly.

“Yes! I mean, I don’t care. Usually. I’d-I’d just had a rough day with Luci. Rough life, more like, and I was tired of feelin’ like shit ‘bout myself. Nazriel’s question jus’ threw me off. I-I wanted to seem cool, so I said what I knew would make me, and-“

“And you’re a piece of shit for it”.

You weren’t wrong. And he knew that.

“... and I’m a piece of shit for it.”

There was a pause before he hesitantly continued.

“I wound up bein’ exactly what I was tryin’ not to be. Scummy.”

He raised his eyes to meet yours, blue hues morphing into gold flecks like waves crashing on the beach. Your breath hitched and caught in your throat, only now realizing that the whole time you’d been arguing, you’d both been slowly edging together. Now, you were dangerously close.

“You aren’t scummy, Mammon…”, you began to tenderly look at him.

“Yeah.. I am. But that’s just me, I guess. I can’t mind it.”

He took one step, leaving you toe to toe. Though one of the shorter of the boys, he still towered over you.

“I jus’ can’t be scummy to you.”

You tilted your head, heart and body language softening as he spoke.

“I shouldn’t be, and I don’ wanna be”.

His hands cautiously made their way to your shoulders, and you shuddered at the feeling that made its way through your bones.

“Mammon?”

“Yeah?”

“That apology shouldn’t have worked.”

He chuckled, “you’re right.”

You smiled, a true smile. The first one all day. And what came next, you knew probably shouldn’t. But you also didn’t really care.

“Mammon?”

He hummed in response, and you stood as high as you could on your tip-toes to kiss his cheek. His face deeply rouged the moment your lips met his hot skin.

His eyes were wide as you lowered yourself down, leaving a hand lingering on his arm.

In that moment, his aura shifted, and everything was suspensefully still. Within seconds, his arms wrapped you in a crushing hug, his breath heavy and warm behind your ear.

You sunk your weight into his, relishing the relief from the chill of your room, as you snaked your arms behind his back.

You weren’t entirely sure how long you stood like that, but you knew it must’ve been a while, because his grip was starting to affect your breathing.

“Mon- air”,

He lightened up and pulled back from you.

“S-sorry!”

Your lips turned up at the sight of his cute embarrassment. He scowled at you, knowing what you were thinking, but slowly started to laugh.

He leaned his forehead against yours, the sudden proximity causing you to let out a slight squeak.

“Ya drive me nuts, ya know?”

You searched his eyes, trying to make sure he was saying what you really thought he was.

This was a bad idea. For so many reasons.

But truthfully, neither of you gave two shits.

So he ghosted his lips over yours, his left fang biting his bottom, waiting for the sign to move — the sign that you wanted him, the sign that he would be enough.

The second you tilted your nose to the side of his, he crashed his mouth into yours.

From all the “first kisses” with your “first man” that you’d imagined, this was like none of them.

It was so

so much better.

It was fast, it was hard, but it wasn’t rough. It wasn’t brutal. It wasn’t empty. It was a cataclysm of feelings — pent up tension, pent up love.

As he dragged his mouth over yours, he hooked his hands under your legs, lifting you to wrap around him in one, swift movement. Then, he was on the move, backing himself toward your bed until the back of his knees met the mattress, and he collapsed, pulling your legs to straddle his lap. You hadn’t disconnected from his lips the entire time, still fervently needing more of him. You knew he felt the same. The demon of greed would most certainly never have enough of you. He tasted sweet and smelled strongly of an expensive cologne you knew he probably couldn’t actually afford. One of his hands stayed splayed on the top of your thigh, while the other worked to bring you even closer to him (if that was possible), pressing underneath your shirt to the skin on your back, two fingers edging their way into the beltline of your shorts.

He was careful not to take himself too far, to not lose control, and you could tell, so you worked your tongue past his lips. He sucked in a breath as the complete access to your mouth made room for him to deepen his greed for you. Slipping his tongue to meet yours, he nipped at your bottom lip, working his entire mouth in a blissful harmony.

He pulled back, heaving air, seeping desire from every muscle, just enough to speak to you,

“MC… I-I can’t… I can’t handle this... well... for much longer. I don’ know what I’m gonna do to ya…”, he began to pepper wet kisses down your neck, unable to keep himself off you long enough to even hear your reply.

You weren’t sure what else you were expecting, or if you were expecting anything else at all.

You were making out with a demon, after all.

You moved a hand to rake your nails through his frosty hair, and he leaned into the palm of your touch.

“It’s okay. I want you. All of you...”, it was only a whisper, but you were afraid if you spoke too loud, you’d snap the moment in half.

He did nothing but growl before reattaching his lips to yours, bringing his slender fingers to tug up at the hem of your shirt.

“I’m gonna do my best not to hurt ya…” he mumbled on your lips. You simply nodded, running your hands against his abs. He shivered at the contact, before helping you remove his own shirt.

Somewhere in the midst of him sliding on top of you, and the complete sight of the demon boy you had always longed for filling your soul, you heard the faintest of three words. You almost tricked yourself into believing they never entered the air, that they’d never left his lips.

But they were impossible to ignore.

“I love you”.

The sun will (sort of) rise.

The sun will (kind of) set.

You live in Hell, with 7 boys you dearly love,

but one holds you in the palm of his hand.

Mammon will always be there.

That night, he proved that truth to you over, and over again.

fin.

#obey me #mammon fic #i love mammon #mammon x reader #mammon x mc #obey me brothers #belphie x reader #belphagor #angst #i love you #make out #obey me mammoney #mammon one shot #obey me smut #obey me fluff #shall we date mammon #obey me mammon #mammon x you #beel #beelzebub #asmo #asmodeus #satan #levi #leviathan #lucifer #luci

[mevekagvain]

Chapter 189 - I still have no clue why the lords' sanctuary is used as a grave like okay yeah I do it's mostly symbolic and to grieve but I still think it doesn't make sense. All the other uses? Yeah cool. Grave? Nah, not when purebloods dissipate into red mist when they die. Extremely funny imagining mvp lord picking out a fancy coffin full well knowing he won't leave a corpse though like okay king <3 and I haven't even started on those damn stairs.

- Everytime Rael's being cringe I flash through renditions of memes that cover the general energy of habitual suffering that is simultaneously willing yet forced.

- Tbh as someone who doesn't particularly believe in the whole concept of honourable fighting unless it's sports or agreed upon beforehand by all parties and because they're going against what they perceive as traitors or invaders... Rajak shouldn't be scolding Rael for trying to get rid of the trio.

Chapter 190 - Here they know the traiters were behind the Loyard massacre but later Seira doesn't even think that Zarga may have played a part until he said it himself so what's the truth.

- Really, Rousare having died should make it obvious that Gejutel wasn't involved and prevent all this. At least Ludis has some sense.

- Ah, time for grandpa's trashtalk.

Chapter 191 - It always drives me insane that Raskreia knows jack shit about Frankenstein and Raizel like she really did not give a fuck about them did she lmao? Oh father has sent clan leaders out on an arrest warrant? Oh father asks me to regularly visit this random stranger who he adores often and wishes for him to be lord? Why would I ever wish to learn more about them? Like queen ily but keep track of important events in Lukedonia even before you're lord please.

- I know Gejutel's just bullshitting but like. The traitors having foresight? Sjjsjsis where? Lagus and Roctis yeah sure I get it. But the rest? Ignes literally experimented on ppl in Lukedonia. Urokai, as much as I love him, is definitely the stupid dumbass of the group. Zarga if he had any foresight would have either just stayed on Lukedonia and chilled as a loner or had a heir who he passed Lontrick on to and left Lukedonia to once again chill as a loner since unlike the others he only disagreed with the new ideals rather than wanting to actively murder someone. As for Gradeus... we know he can use his brain but he really turned it off entirely when deciding to install bloodstones huh? Like if all you want to do is fight than becoming that strong even when you're already the strongest around is not gonna be enjoyable. Well then he went cuckoo so whtever. Ofc I do wonder whether his goal went from enjoying fighting to mere murder before or after he was exposed to bloodstones and the same for him massacring his clan since the options have implications.

- And here we are at the "clan leaders should go into eternal sleep with the lord" bullshit. Like sorry but just cos the good guys are the ones spouting it doesn't mean I'll ever agree with it. Like tf. It makes me think immediately of rulers who had their servants buried alive with them, emperors whose harems were killed upon their deaths, wives set fire upon their husbands funerals, etc. It is interesting ofc that even nobles who are very obviously written as the best race in noblesse have such regressive and cruel practices. Much more fascinating to have humans take inspiration from them for both good and bad after all.

- Grandpa really tried to be mean so Raskreia wouldn't feel bad executing him huh. Not that it worked ofc.

Chapter 192 - It's so funny that Raizel changes his clothes to Lukedonia's black and gold upon entering because like, did he feel like the odd one out or something?

- Darling clan leaders, I'll excuse your ignorance and underestimation of the enemy, but esteemed lord please, you should know better.

- Hilarious that Gejutel saw that the current gen had extremely spotty knowledge due to their predecessors being like that ig but instead of fixing that he essentially went "It's none of my business idc idc" and ignored it until it came back to bite him in the ass. Like at least tell the lord about all this pls. She should know what a noblesse is 😭

Chapter 193 - Rip Karias not finding everyone in the throne room. It's like when a class gets changed last minute and you have no clue which new place it's in.

- Raizel just take the earring off normally I swear. Imagine having only one memento from a friend you actually meant to keep but you just tear it apart. I would cry.

- Gejutel being apologetic about making Raizel use his lifeforce... grandpa,,,

Chapter 194 - The fact that Ludis' eyes glow as he sets up the protection for the sanctuary,,, love him.

- Insert 300 page analysis on Raskreia's relationship with being lord and just her in general here. I'm too lazy to type it out so insecurities, lack of communication, lack of clarity, formality and duty leading to distant relationships, etc etc etc.

Chapter 195 - This is so rude 😤

- God Karias' entrance and interactions with everyone,,, the way he fusses over Raskreia openly, the way Rozaria beckons him over, them,,,

Chaoter 196 - "The clan leaders share my thoughts" obviously not with the traitors. Well Roctis may have agreed but Ignes prevented him from all that. Still, even from the other 4 non traitors of Ru, Elenor, Loyard and Mergas, it's very much possible they disagreed but simply kept quiet about their thoughts because how dare they go against the lord? I mean, the track record isn't exactly great and that's just how it is in these sort of systems.

- Well I definitely think the method he decided on was stupid but I do think mvp lord's sentiment was very sweet. And ofc just how he wants the best for Raizel... it makes me sad everytime like he just wants him to be happy and be able to enjoy life and yet. Just how his message always has him with that soft smile for Raizel as he tells him to live a long joyous life... that he wants him to be safe... that he's happy he's been outlived... gonna go cry brb..

Chapter 197 - Yeah just gonna ignore and replace the misogynistic bs they make mvp lord spout with like "Be wary of men; instead of wasting time beating them up see if you have any interest in women instead. Especially if they're not nobles. Only wear what you're comfortable with and don't let anyone pressure you. Remember to train often with swords or your skills will become rusty. Etc etc etc."

Chapter 198 - At least he has earring number 2 ig

- "This house is a little old and needs some renovation" It's great that you're being tactful but Tao we both know that this estate that hasn't had any upkeep for at least 5 centuries needs a hell lot more than a little fixing.

- M-21 just has his priorities straight okay,,, you all do need to change.

- Why did Tao pack aprons and gloves for the trip?

#noblesse #raining while reading #so it didn't save the first time and i had to go through the entire group of chapters again #hell #volume 3 done

[abrooklynboy]

Neighborhoods

For apartments and building headcanons, consult this post.

616!Steve’s past is easy to trace. He grew up in LES Manhattan. Joseph died when he was young and Sarah died when he was in his mid-teens. He may have moved to Brooklyn later on but still before the War. His childhood friends are Dougie Huggins, who lived downstairs and treated him lousy when they were kids and Arnie Roth, the Original Gay Jew who fought off Steve’s bullies and became a sailor.

After Steve gets out of the ice, he first lives at the Avengers Mansion and a bunch of hotel rooms. After Sharon “dies,” (comics) he moves to Brooklyn Heights, but still has space at the Mansion/Tower when the world is Hectic. It’s his second home. And his studio apartment is fantastic, I love that place. You have (and this is straight from 1979):

Anna Kapplebaum: landlady, Holocaust survivor, building bubbe. Cap liberated the concentration camp she was in.

Bernie Rosenthal: Steve’s Jewish girlfriend/fiancé who lives in the apartment under his own. Glassblower turned lawyer.

Josh Cooper: Black, former Army medic turned special education teacher.

Michael Farrel: Firefighter turned Super-Patriot.

Cory, why is this important? Because people assume Cap is jingoistic, conservative etc. and that they plastered liberal stuff over it. Cap is always anti-fascist and learning. The supporting cast is gold. There’s the above, Arnie enters Steve’s life again (Steve supports Arnie’s relationship with his boyfriend), and then there’s still Sam, Fury, Jack Monroe. Yes, I roll my eyes and sigh at the stereotypes but it’s clear the creating team is trying.

Years later, he moves to the Red Hook building. Sometimes, he and Sharon go hang out in the Carter Virginia House but for the most part he stays in that Red Hook building. I’m sure he has some other places but once again, he’s not a spy. Doesn’t need a bunch of boltholes. (Sharon’s the one with a bunch of safehouses).

MCU is under the cut for length.

MCU: Sarah and Joseph immigrate to LES. They move to Brooklyn Heights. Steve's born. Things get...okay ish and they move to Flatbush or Prospect Heights (the two neighborhoods are close together and have a good mix of Irish-Italian-Jews). Joseph dies.

The next bit is all fluid based on the Bucky I’m writing with. Steve meets my Bucky when Bucky’s 12 and he’s 11. Steve (and Bucky ig) go to Catholic school and then goes to art school at CCNY/Brooklyn College. Things get bad. Sarah’s health declines. They move to DUMBO. Sarah dies. Bucky moves in. They move around a lot in the DUMBO and Brooklyn Heights area till Bucky ships out.

Post-Ice, Steve lives in that S.H.I.E.L.D.-provided depression department from Avengers, bounces around on a roadtrip. Then takes up Fury’s job offer and relocates to DC. After Insight, Steve moves to Red Hook and lives in his own building. He did a lot of the renovation work himself and Fitzsimmons do the security system. 

I guess if I’m following MCU through CACW and beyond, the government probably steals all his stuff. But that’s not the first time the government steals Steve’s stuff >:T (As you can see, I hate CACW through EG. The Nomad stuff is cool but everything else. Ehhhh). Let’s just say after the Snap, Steve gets his building back, cleans it back up, and spends a lot of his retirement there.

What about the Tower/Compound?: He has a floor/room/suite/whatever at each. For a long time, he doesn’t consider it home like 616 would. It’s much more of a work-related necessity.

#scrawny me #the captain #headcanon