#i just really hate p chem
summary: being known for your bright personality easily gets you a soft spot in the hearts of the many people you’ve come to meet and know as you go through university. you can light up a room with just your smile and when you finally meet the guy that doesn’t react the way everyone else does, your eagerness to receive that reaction from him only grows. they say ‘don’t poke the bear’ but of course, you just can’t help yourself.
pairing: kyoutani kentarou x fem!reader
genre: college!au, tatted!kyo, bubbly/happy!reader, fluff//angst; (his hair is longer and cuter now i promise)
word count: 8.8k
warnings: language and slight mentions of smoke/alcohol
A/N: i don’t even simp for this guy how- anyways, ig i just thought he’d be the perfect fit for this. who’d you like to see next? (header will change bc i don’t like it) sorry this took a little long to post!! :(
taglist: @matsukas @cafemiya @oikcore @crescenttooru @tetsurolls @mirakeul @kimkai-is-my-man @jeannie-beannie @camcam1617 @lvrkuroo @kookie-doughs @mellowknightcolorfarm @waitforitillwritemywayout @toworuu @bbykutos @haajiime @miyalove @hikariakaashi @kurooru
welcome to the frat house! meet KYOUTANI!
only in the frat because of his buddies from high school (they forced him to join)
v antisocial because he doesn’t like people.
how he got in the frat? a mystery.
he’s got the dark and brooding aura (i.e. all black, leather, tattoos *mwah*)
spends the parties in the back on the outside patio, smoking.
will get girls from time to time trying to tame him but it never works out for them.
you’ve had a bit too much to drink tonight.
in your friend group, you’re definitely the one who ~loves~ having fun at parties
you’re the one who usually drags your friends to parties and although your friends get into it too (hey, there’s cute guys, girls, and booze), you’re just a bubble of energy at parties.
you tend to be the one tugging at your friend’s (and sometimes stranger’s) arms onto the dance floor with the biggest smile.
but tonight, you went a little too far with the drinking.
“oof, i think i maxed my limit, girls.” you’re swaying now, pushing the red solo cup away from you for one of your friend’s to take. “don’t really wanna black out so can you take this from me?”
since you were an avid party goer at this specific frat, you practically knew the members of the frat beyond being mere acquaintances.
you were there to help kuroo by holding his chem flashcards and test him when he had a final the next day (whatta nerd :P).
you were one of the only valuable players kenma would play video games with in the dark game room.
you were there to console atsumu (platonically) when he was feeling emo (it was the alcohol, he promises) because his twin managed to pull a girl he’d been eying for hours.
yeah, you were practically one of the bros by now.
(not a toxic one !! please, you try to set them up with your friends ALL the time)
akaashi grabs your cup from you.
to be honest, you didn’t even see where he had came from but you’re grateful nevertheless.
“let’s get some fresh air, yeah?” akaashi grabs your elbow and you nod, feeling your head begin to pound from feeling claustrophobic and hot in the crowded room.
akaashi mumbles something to one of the friends you came with before pulling you out of the large group of people.
he brings you to a back porch and you instantly inhale a breath of cool air
the air was freezing when you arrived to the party but with the hot house and alcohol in your system, it felt like just a light breeze to you.
“do you want some water?” akaashi asks but before you could answer, he snaps his fingers. “i’m getting you some water, i’ll be right back.”
you wave lazily to him as he walks back into the house and you turn back around when you lose sight of him in the crowd.
for a few moments you’re looking out at the sky, leaned against the porch railing (you can’t hold yourself up oop) and a slight rustle beside you makes you realize you aren’t alone.
“hey!” you grin, seeing another man leaned against the railing, similar to how you were, smoking a cigarette.
the guy turns to you and in the dim light of the porch lamp, you could see his peeved expression. he scoffs and looks away from you.
hmph, you pout, unhappy with the response.
“it’s kinda rude to just ignore a greeting like that, y’know?” you take a sidestep closer to the guy.
“if i wanted to talk i’d be in there,” the guy juts his thumb in the direction of the back door. “now if you could shut up, i’d really appreciate that.”
“‘shut up?’” you repeat, taking another step toward him. “you’re asking the wrong girl.” you let out an airy laugh at the way he huffs in response.
by then, you were standing right beside the guy and you could finally get a better look at him.
his eyebrows seem to be furrowed, almost in a permanent way and his piercing eyes look like they could probably intimidate someone from a mile away.
with just one look, you’d get the message of ‘go away,’ from him.
too bad you’re y/n, wattpad queen of ‘i’m not like other girls.’
“why d’you look so mad?” you lean froward slightly, hoping to grab his attention.
“what the fuck?” he just notices your close proximity and jumps back, slightly startled. “who’s with you and where are they?”
was it because he just noticed how wasted you were by your slurring words and waddling figure that he cared?
or was it because he wanted to get as far away from you as possible?
the second one, totally the second one.
(*cough* sure *cough*)
“my friend’s are in there having fun. akaashi brought me out ‘n he’s getting me water.”
“i see.” his voice is deep and gruff and a stark contrast to yours.
he was head to toe in all black the only complementary color being silver from the chains dangling from his neck and jeans, and rings adorning his fingers.
(choke me like you hate me-)
underneath the black leather jacket he was wearing, you notice inks of black going up his neck and down his hand.
his hair is what makes you stare a little closer. the cut was shorter toward the bottom of his head and was more grown out at the top. one distinct feature you never saw on anyone else are the two faded stripes of black around the bottom, near the nape of his neck.
you’re not sober, hence why you’re so shameless checking him out and it’s long enough for him to notice.
before he could call you out or turn away from you, you shout:
“cool tats!”（๑✧∀✧ ๑）
“your tattoos,” you point to his right hand which is grabbed onto the porch’s ledge, gesturing to the tattoo starting from his wrist (that’s the start of what you can see at least) to his middle finger. “i like them.”
“you do,” the guy responds, quirking an eyebrow and instinctively looks down at his hand. what he says starts out as a sentence, simply repeating your words but by the end his voice lightens slightly into a question.
“mhm, can i see?” you take a step toward him, looking up at him with curious eyes.
who the heck is this cute drunk chick, kyoutani thinks to himself with a scoff and brief look to the side.
“i guess since you’re probably not going to leave me alone until akaashi comes back, hm?”
he hold his hand out for you to get a better look and you trace the ink with your fingers absentmindedly, answering softly, “probably not.”
you don’t notice but kyoutani’s cheeks are BURNING.
yes he’s mister bad boy and i don’t care about anybody.
but having you practically hold his hand so innocently.
“whatcha drinking?” you ask, leaning over to examine the dark liquid inside kyoutani’s solo cup. “hennessy?”
“no,” kyoutani quips, bringing the cup closer to his chest and away from your prying eyes. “it’s cola. cherry.”
your nose twitches at the revelation.
“not much of an alcohol drinker?”
“i burn my lungs, not destroy my liver.”
so he’s blunt.
at least he’s picked a struggle...
“huh,” you shrug, “can i have some?”
with a dark gaze, the taller man deadpans, “aren’t you waiting for some water?”
“oh,” you mumble dumbly, “yeah, i forgot.”
kyoutani rolls his eyes at you and silently prays akaashi comes back soon.
with an irritated huff, he grits, “because i like it.”
before you can make a comment about his aggressiveness, you hear the back door slide open.
“y/n, i’m back with your water...oh hey, kyoutani” akaashi returns, holding out a water bottle for you to take.
and just like that, your attention on the dark and brooding guy in front of you shifts back to your friend.
(wow y/n, priorities huh?)
you bounce over to your friend with a grin.
“you’re the absolute best, akaashi!” you lunge yourself at him for a hug and he stumbles backward. he regains his balance and pats your back, giving you a pressed smile.
“yeah, yeah, how’s your head?”
“better! the air really did it. i’m going back in now!” you wave at your friend and disappear back into the house
kyoutani had watched the whole thing and he doesn’t notice the ghost of a smile across his own face.
maybe you weren’t totally annoying.
ok, you were annoying...
but...you were pretty cute, too.
“sorry about her, she’s kind of a mess when she’s drunk,” akaashi apologizes, rubbing the back of his neck.
it was usually him apologizing to people about your behavior and though you’re not there to witness it, you know he does it.
and that’s why you treat him to lunch often :D
“‘s fine,” kyoutani grumbles, returning to his original composure. “she just wanted to look at my tats.”
“sounds like her. you shoulda seen her when she saw terushima for the first time.”
(akaashi stop exposing y/n aljasd)
when you first met terushima, it was flirty banter between the two of you until you noticed his tongue piercing.
“OH MY GOSH, AWESOME~”
terushima’s ego: skyrocketed
just when he was going to make a move you just:
“can i poke it? or like touch it...”
(y/n, you nasty)
you don’t rlly talk to terushima anymore, to your dismay.
akaashi excuses himself from the conversation and bids kyoutani a good night before walking back into the house
hm, kyoutani thinks to himself, y/n.
the next day is a monday (you maniac what the hell partying on a school night ;P) and you don’t think anyone who went to the party would recognize you...
you’re wearing an oversized hoodie and some plain sweats. the hood is over your head and covering most of your forehead while sunglasses rested on your nose.
coffee in one hand (you need all the coffee you can get) and your bag in the other, you trudge to your first class.
class was utter hell.
not only was your headache not going away after taking three advils but you couldn’t seem to keep your eyes open even with the coffee being the only thing in your veins
never party on a sunday, y/n, haven’t you said that to yourself before?
idiot idiot idiot.
the class finally finishes and the professor dismisses you and you’re one of the last people to leave the room since you’re taking forever to pack up your bag.
you’re tired, ok?
normally, you’d be your smiley self, waving at people you know and even stopping for small talk but after last night,
you just wanted to crawl back into your dark sheets and sleep for the next week.
but alas, you had the responsibilities of a student to manage.
so, you used whatever strength you had to begin walking to the library
gah, why’d i take so long, you think as you face the students walking straight toward you for their classes. now i have to face a herd.
and just when you think you’ve managed to escape the herd of students, you slam into a hard chest and you reach forward, hoping whoever it was would keep you from falling backward.
“woah there,” the voice murmurs, grabbing ahold of your elbow.
“i am SO sorry, i’ve been such a mess today,” you apologize profusely, shaking your head and clasping your hands together hoping the person wouldn’t be rude.
“drank too much last night, huh?”
“uhh...what?...how did you...”
you look up and OH, IT’S A FAMILIAR FACE!
“were you at the party last night? sorry i was pretty wasted...”
he rolls his eyes. “these jog your memory?” and with that he lifts a hand and wiggles his fingers at you.
he doesn’t exactly know why he indulges you since he didn’t even want to speak to you in the first place.
but he does find amusement in the way your eyes light up like a kid’s.
“tattoo guy! didn’t think i’d ever see you again!” you instantly reach for his hand to get a better look. they definitely look scarier in the daylight but you don’t care.
cue kyoutani blushing again.
“oi! don’t hold my hand, i was just showing you-”
“what class do you have right now?”
and just like that, you’re in ‘make a friend’ mode.
your headache? disappeared.
your fatigue? gone.
“don’t have one. needed to piss.”
your face contorts to a sour expression as his choice of words but you brush it off and step clear of his way
“well, then. you go on and tinkle and i’ll see you around, buddy!”
you don’t usually say such childish terms, in fact, you find them kind of cringey, but in front of this biker looking dude, it just seemed to fit.
tinkle? kyoutani thinks to himself. oh boy, he’s so close to smiling in amusement but he’ll never admit that. “buddy?” he asks instead.
“bye~” you wave and skip away from him in the direction of the library
“oi! you don’t even know my name!”
his call makes you stop in your tracks and you spin on your heels. “well? ‘ya gonna tell me or what?”
kyoutani feels defeated when he realized he willingly walked into that one. “kyoutani,” he grumbles before turning away and in the direction of the building you came from.
i know, he thinks.
you grin at his response before walking back into the direction of the library.
before you could even walk a few feet, a hand is pulling you into the library.
“you were not just speaking to kentaro kyoutani,” your friend and classmate whispers seriously, afraid that she was being heard
“yeah?” you trail off, sucking in the side of your cheek in confusion, “so?”
“i think he’s into some shady shit,” she murmurs, linking arms with yours and pulled you with her further into the library.
you shrug in response, “i just met him. he doesn’t seem too scary. he’s just a big guy with tattoos and piercings.”
“there’s a bunch of rumors about him and i don’t wanna feed into them but...be careful.”
you wave her off with a disinterested hand, “yeah, yeah, first sign of gang membership and i dip.”
she rolls her eyes at your words but lets out a relieved sigh, “good.”
“now,” you tightened your linked arms, “are we going to study for bio or what?”
“ah, you again,” kyoutani sighs when you tap his shoulder excitedly and shine a bright smile his way.
the week has passed and as your friday celebration, it isn’t a surprise that you choose to go to another party.
hey, you did well on your exams. you deserve it.
you pout at his lack of happy acknowledgement but continue.
“mm,” he hums in confirmation. “and you’re y/n.”
“that’d be right,” you grin, moving to stand beside him and lean against the ledge. “so,” you dramatically start, turning to face him, “what’s your story?”
he coughs. “my story?”
you hum with an innocent nod. “what’re you doing in a frat when you look like you’d rather be anywhere else in the world?”
the question is simple but kyoutani isn’t expecting it.
usually the first question he gets from curious girls are the tattoo stories or the tragic background stories they assume he has because of his aura.
but the frat story?
that was new.
“i have...people i went to high school with and they kind brought me into it.”
“they were able to just force you?” you question, perplexedly. he doesn’t look like the kind of guy who could be simply persuaded to join a fraternity. but hey, you weren’t judging.
“you’d be surprised at how forceful iwaizumi and oikawa could be.”
the familiar names make your eyes light up. “you know oikawa and iwaizumi from high school?”
here it comes, kyoutani thinks with an eye roll. you’re going to fish for your way into their lives and-
“they’re so sweet, d’awh! didn’t know they could be intimidating, though,” you rub your chin in thought. “i knew them back in middle school!”
“mhm,” you muse, “we separated in high school unfortunately. well, maybe not unfortunately, i don’t think i’d be able to handle what i heard from them about girls flocking them wherever they went,” you laugh.
“it was pretty annoying,” he grumbles, “practice always got interrupted because of that.”
“practice?” your eyes light up again, “were you on the volleyball team with them?”
he can only nod.
“that’s so cool! they told me about their games and stuff when we reconnected during our first semester. they never mentioned a kyoutani though...”
“that’s because i had a stupid nickname,” kyoutani huffs, feeling heat rise up his neck at the though of said nickname.
“oh, what was it?”
you snort, “fitting. i’m guessing oikawa came up with that? idiot.”
the nickname was somewhat familiar to you, but there wasn’t enough information given to you spark any interest.
if only they told you more at the time (╥_╥)
you thought he was pretty cute, in a weird gremlin kind of way.
but still cute (~˘▾˘)~
for kyoutani, it’s refreshing hearing someone else mock oikawa instead of praise.
how has he not heard of you before? surely they would’ve talked about you.
then again...he wasn’t exactly close with them in high school.
“so, i answered you,” he crosses his arms, “what about you? your story?”
you shrug, “i used to be a really shy girl in school and after a while, i figured out that it isn’t only because of how shy i was that i didn’t have too many friends, but also the chance that other people were too shy. so i made an effort to break out of my shell and well, now you’re stuck talking to me as a result.”
“but you said you were friends with -”
“that was middle school,” you elaborate with a knowing smile. “i got shy when i reached high school since i didn’t know many people. after growing up with some of the same kids since we were five and then reaching high school where i might’ve known one? it was hard to get used to.”
the conversation continues with you and him exchanging more questions and a part of you is delighted that he isn’t pushing you away yet.
it isn’t until one of your friends pokes her head into the back, telling you it was time to leave and your uber arrived.
“wow, 2 already,” you sigh, looking down at your phone screen, slightly squinting your eyes from the brightness that contrasted from the dark. you turn to kyoutani with a soft smile. “thanks for chatting with me!”
kyoutani gulps, looking down at the screen of his own phone.
did he really manage to talk to you for over two hours?
you leave before he can say bye, not that he was going to pffft, but he has a feeling it isn’t the last he’s seeing you.
and he’s absolutely right.
because every party after that one, you find yourself in the backyard, conversing with him.
he notices as months passes that you’re not bundling up on winter-wear so you’re shivering more with each passing hour.
“you’re going to get sick, y’know,” he grumbles, shoving off his leather jacket.
“no, i’m n-not,” you bite down on your lip in attempt to muffle your chattering teeth.
he only rolls his eyes with a sigh, a white cloud of air escaping his lips when he does, and drapes the jacket over your shoulders. “slide your arms through.”
you do as you’re told but hunch your shoulders in defeat.
the jacket is heavy and nearly swallows you whole, your hands not even able to peek out of the sleeves.
kyoutani didn’t think this through because seeing you in his jacket?
“i was fine...but thanks,” you murmur, lifting the sleeves and furrowing your brows when you notice you can’t see your hands.
“no problem,” he mutters, turning away from you. “i don’t get cold easily anyway.”
you glance over at him and your jaw drops in admiration at what you see.
“what?” he asks when he doesn’t hear a response, averting his eyes to your star-stuck look.
“i can see your sleeve!”
he looks down at his own arm and nods as he shapes his mouth into an ‘o.’
he was only wearing a white tank-top underneath his jacket so his shoulder down to his hand, specifically the tattoos, were on display for you to see.
“cool,” you grin, poking at his bicep.
“do they have meanings?”
“some of ‘em,” he answers earnestly. “but don’t expect me to go into detail.”
he’s half expecting you to push for answers but you don’t.
“got it,” you raise your hands the jacket sleeves in surrender, “i respect that.”
a beat passes before he says, “thanks.”
the door is pulled open behind you and you’re able to hear the booming music more clearly as it opens. “you need some air,” someone says gruffly.
“iwa-chan~” oikawa whines as he’s dragged out. “i’m fine.”
“you’re drunk,” iwaizumi corrects, crossing his arms.
“hey guys!” you greet with a grin.
“y/n!” oikawa slurs, “‘was won-dring where you go nowadays. ah, kentaro, nice to see you out here.”
he gives them a grunt as a greeting and you only roll your eyes playfully.
“how are you guys?”
“meh,” iwaizumi shrugs, “babysitting him, as usual.”
“of course,” you stifle a laugh, watching oikawa sway and start to dance to the music playing from inside.
“don’t need a babysitter~” he sings, but his posture says otherwise. he’s swaying, tripping over his own feet.
you’ve never seen him so drunk before.
“what the hell did he have?” kyoutani mutters, nose scrunching and brows furrowing.
“he tried to impress some girl with cup pong...didn’t go so well,” iwaizumi sighs, looking over at his friend. “the girl left with her friends anyway so he did this for no reason.”
“oh shush,” oikawa murmurs, “she gave me her number.”
“which you won’t even use,” iwaizumi finishes.
“iwa,” he whines, “it’s cold. i’m going back inside.”
“oika- ugh, freaking child.” iwaizumi chases after him as the taller man slips from his grasp and runs back inside.
there’s another silence ensued between you and kyoutani.
you’re first to break it with your giggles filling the air.
“they haven’t changed.”
kyoutani can only scoff but nod to himself. his face returns to it’s resting angry-looking one before you can see the hint of a smile.
“so,” you muse, looking back to the frowning boy with innocent eyes. “kentaro, huh?”
you didn’t remember his name when your friend initially warned you about him so you were glad oikawa and iwaizumi came out of nowhere to remind you.
“yeah,” he nods.
“can i call you ‘taro?”
he turns to you and deapans, “no.”
“c’mon~” you pout, “aren’t we friends now? hey, i’m wearing your jacket.”
you gesture to the jacket with a pointed look.
he looks away in slight embarrassment at the fact that he did indeed give you his jacket to wear.
“do whatever you want,” he shrugs simply, “but i don’t like it.”
that wasn’t a no. ¬‿¬
“ok, ‘taro,” you chirp with a cute grin.
“dummy,” he mutters under his breath.
“do you watch the stars, ‘taro?” you ask one night wistfully, looking up at the dark sky, tracing patterns of stars you see with your fingers. “i used to be big on stars when i was little. i could’ve named so many constellations.”
“why does that not surprise me,” kyoutani looks over at you briefly to take in your mesmerized expression toward the stars. “but ah, no, not really.”
“you really should. especially if you need to think. i find it helps me focus,” you muse, nodding to yourself.
he doesn’t answer you but does look over to where you’re watching.
“y’know,” you begin with a drawl, “i haven’t always been this...sociable.”
“you’ve mentioned it,” kyoutani confirms, glancing back at you. “still find it a little hard to believe.”
“a lot of people do,” you lightly smile in reminiscence of shy little old you. “i used to take a picnic blanket and walk up the tallest hill and i’d just lay it out and watch the stars at night for hours. i was always alone when i did it. so this is kinda nice.”
kyoutani notices your eyes never leave the sky once and for the first time he thinks he can really see you. you’re not all in his face nor bouncing around him, pestering him with pointless questions.
you’re in your element and you’re calm.
“so!” you break out of your trance to clap your hands. “what about you? you got a hobby?”
and moment ended.
“what, you don’t have any hobbies or you just refuse to tell me?”
“no,” he repeats.
you pout but then tilt your head to the side. “at least i know you played volleyball. still like that?”
he shrugs, “yeah, i guess.”
“one of these days i’ll get something else out of you,” you promise, crossing your arms over your chest confidently. “then i won’t be the only blabbermouth between us.”
he’d given you some of the basic information like his major and the classes he took. you managed to figure out his birthday (long guessing game) and yes, of course you looked up his chart for him (sun sign sagittarius, you found that kind of odd). you basically learned what a stranger could learn about a celebrity on famous birthdays.
so it wasn’t exactly as personal as you would’ve preferred. especially when you feel like you’ve told him more about you than you have anyone else...
“hah,” he actually laughs, shoulders shaking as he did – you literally did a double take because a genuine laugh? it was precious – as he also shook his head at you. “yeah, okay.”
“you never know!”
“come join me!” you grin, holding the basket for him to take a look at. “it’s perfect weather.”
you happened to run into kyoutani on your way to your favorite spot on campus, picnic basket in one hand, folded blanket under your free arm.
it was odd seeing him during the day but you seized the opportunity to hang out with him anyway.
had you been literally anyone else, he’d simply scoff at such a childish offer and bluntly reject it.
but it was you...little miss sunshine, always went on picnics alone, you.
“why me?” he asks, slightly exasperated because really? out of everyone you could’ve walked into, it had to be him?
“well, my friends are either busy or in class...” you trail off, “and i brought enough food for at least two people. i wouldn’t want all this food to go to waste, either.”
your tone and usual curious eyes at peeking away from him as if you’re ...shy?
pfft, can’t be. you’re never shy.
but he has been noticing you acting this way for a few weeks now...
“...you better have something good.”
he says it gruffly and quickly looks away from you as your head snaps up to meet his gaze with a bright grin.
“yeah...i haven’t eaten all day, that’s all. no other reason.”
“right,” you tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. it was strange how a month ago, you felt like you could tell this guy anything without a fear of judgement but now under his piercing gaze?
you were somewhat afraid to say the wrong thing.
not that you should!
pfft, you’ve been blurting out nonsense since the day you first met! you were a drunken mess and hey, if he’s still able to tolerate you after that, you really shouldn’t worry.
but you still do.
“so where’s your hilltop to see the stars?”
your cheeks warm at the fact that he remembers what you had said, recalling when you were younger.
“no stars since it’s still daylight. there is a spot on campus that’s all grass so i usually sit there to study, read or think.”
“lead the way then, sunshine,” he gestures with his arm, currently tucked into his leather jacket’s sleeve, for you to go on ahead.
your nose scrunches at the pet name but you don’t mind it. if anything, the swirl in your stomach says otherwise.
you arrive at the patch of land, only a few students similarly scattered about. some were playing frisbee while others sat under a tree, catching up on some reading.
after settling the thick red and white blanket down on the grass, you plop onto it with a happy smile. you then move onto digging into your basket, ready to take out each plate and tupperware of food you prepared for the day.
it was really the simple things that got you to smile, kyoutani observes.
“your aim sucks,” he deadpans, watching as you attempt to throw a grape in the air and catch it in your mouth, only for it to fall somewhere on your blanket.
“i don’t exactly do this often,” you frown. “besides, you can do better?”
“bet,” he nods. “i bet i can catch one of your shitty throws.”
you choke on a gasp. “is that a challenge? i’m sure it’ll just hit you in the eye.”
raising an eyebrow, he moves around on the blanket so he’s facing you. “shoot.”
with slight hesitance – you’re hesitant because there’s something so domestic about the action – you lift your hand, grape settled in between your thumb and index finger, and throw it in the direction of his face.
the grape goes nowhere near his face and instead goes too far to the left but with little effort, kyoutani moves his body to the side, catching the grape in his mouth.
“see? even with your horrible aim, i still got it.”
huffing, your shoulders slouch. “show off.”
kyoutani grins at your reaction, seconds later catching himself. was he actually smiling at you? at something you did?
what the hell is going on?
lunch was delicious. kyoutani fought every urge to hum in satisfaction each time he took a bite out of what you had made in your basket.
“how’s it?” you ask, looking up for a reaction.
he’s about to shrug you off and say it was okay until he makes eye contact with the hopeful gleam in your eyes.
c’mon, don’t look at me like that...
“it was good. really good.”
a smile forms on your face at his response and you nudge the plate closer to him. “you can finish it if you want, i’m full.”
he looks between you and the plate and begrudgingly (what an actor smh) takes another squid shaped hotdog and pops it into his mouth.
by the time he finishes, the sun had made its way to the horizon, giving the sky blotches of orange, pink and purple.
“sun’s setting,” you observe, slowly blinking at the beautiful sight. it’d been a while since you were outside and watched the sunset. though, it was getting kind of chilly.
“hm,” kyoutani hums in confirmation, leaning back and brings his arms back behind him to support his body.
you both stay silent as your eyes stay trained on the setting sun, watching as darkness fills the night sky replacing the once light blue one.
“y’think stars’ll come out?” kyoutani mutters, leaning back fully, resting his head on open palms he brought behind him.
“maybe,” you hum with a hopeful smile. “but you should probably get back to the house, right? it’s kind of late...”
“and miss the possible stars show you like to gush about?” kyoutani raises an eyebrow, eyes never leaving your figure. “i’m curious now.”
“mmkay,” you shrug, moving to lay on your back beside him. “but don’t fall asleep while i’m talking about them.”
“no promises,” he hides the smile on his face well, looking away for a second.
the stars take a bit of a while to become visible as the sky is still in transition from its dark blue hue to a black one.
“so, you draw, huh?” you ask.
when the man beside you nods you grin cheekily, “would you draw me?”
“why, afraid you can’t capture all of my beauty?”
kyoutani’s slightly taken back by your remark. a few months ago, you would’ve just pouted and drop the topic.
he was growing on you.
“you wish,” he rolls his eyes. you aren’t exactly wrong, though-
“oh! it’s draco!”
“what’s harry potter gotta do with-”
“no, you dummy. the constellation!” you point up. “do you see it?”
kyoutani focuses his attention to the tiny scattered white dots covering the night sky. with furrowed brows, he says, “no.”
groaning, you shift closer to him in attempt to show him better with your fingers. “see the little cup like shape? and the tail that kinda wraps around?”
“‘taro,” you sigh, sitting up, this time grabbing his face in your hands and pointing it in the right direction. “there.”
he’s far too aware of your hold on him to really search for the stars. as you stare up at the sky, he stares at you. the reflection of the stars is so clear, kyoutani thinks he’s hallucinating at first. he blinks. no, there they all are, in your eyes.
“d’ya see it now?” you ask, not bothering to look over at him.
“...yeah,” he murmurs, gulping.
his face grows cold when you let go to point out the other constellations you see. he never did find draco but he managed to spot the little dipper.
“you should get a constellation tattoo!” you announce, mid search for ursa major. he had no idea what that meant until you clarified, ‘the big dipper.’
“really? how come?”
“c’mon, you see all this and you don’t want a constant remembrance of its beauty?”
“why don’t you get one?” he asks, shrugging. the idea seemed a little girly to him but perfectly suited for you since you were just about enamored with the stars.
your expression grows shy, “i’m...nervous.”
“it’s not that bad,” he mumbles, turning his head to face yours. by now, the two of you are laying beside each other, facing each other, and only mere centimeters apart.
when did you get this close?
physically and emotionally...
“says you,” you laugh, “you have so many!”
“you must be used to the pain by now.”
you aren’t wrong.
“yeah, but it’s not that bad...ok, maybe for you it’ll be bad,” he chuckles, watching as your face grows more fearful, “hey, if you ever wanna go through with it, i could take you.”
“yeah, i know a good guy,” he nods.
“will you hold my hand?”
there your voice goes. all bashful and quiet again.
and god, a few months ago he would’ve scoffed at a reaction like that. but damn, did he want nothing more than to grab your hand right then.
he’s expecting an outburst of happiness from you but instead, you scoot yourself closer to him and lean your head on his shoulder. “thanks.”
he’s grateful you’re not looking at him because his entire face and ears have gone beet red. not to mention, his heart rate is going erratically at the moment.
you’re warm against him (he’s your own personal heater uwu) and you feel yourself falling asleep.
“y/n, let’s get you back to your dorm,” kyoutani murmurs when he hears your breaths grow shallow.
that’s final straw for him.
cupid might as well have shot an arrow directly into his heart, because the sound of your cute, sleepy voice? his chest aches.
you’re able to walk on your own, though you do drag your feet against the grass and pavement on the way back to your dorm.
of course, you’re shivering so once again, he gives you his jacket. it’s a comfortable weight on your shoulders and you missed the feeling of the way it draped over your body.
he shoves his hands in his pockets, watching as you enter your room. he feels somewhat out of place. the last time he was inside a dorm was when he was a freshman and not yet part of the frat.
“good night, kyou,” you murmur sleepily.
“that’s a new one,” he raises an eyebrow, teasing smile twitching onto his lips.
“my bad, i meant ‘taro,” you wave him off, ready to close the door. “thanks for spending the day with me. i know i probably forced you to but i still appreciate it.”
he frowns at your words, knowing he probably acts like being your friend is a chore more often than he should.
“get some sleep, sunshine,” he reaches over to jab a finger lightly into your forehead. you sway back at the action and smile easily. you like the nickname he had for you.
“wait, your jacket,” you stop him from turning around, shrugging off the jacket. it’s heavy for just one of your arms, and he catches it before you can drop it. “thanks.”
“anytime,” he replies.
it’s around one a.m., a normal time for you and kyoutani to be talking since that’s usually when you see him at parties. but here, alone outside your room, the atmosphere is so different.
maybe it’s the fact that you’re not as energetic as usual.
but a bigger part of him tells him it’s because of the weird feelings swirling around his stomach.
as he turns away from you, bidding you goodnight, he comes to realize what’s really going on with him,
and he doesn’t like it.
so he’ll do what he has to stop it.
“is he outside?” you grin up at akaashi who scratches his temple.
“thanks!” you chirp, skipping away from your friend before his hand catches your wrist.
“but y/n,” he warns, looking...solemn? disappointed? “you’re not going to like what you find.”
furrowing your eyebrows, you shake your head. “huh?”
but before he can reply, his grasp on you falters and you manage to escape his grip.
there wasn’t much talk between you and kyoutani since your picnic date...? hangout? honestly, you’re not too sure what to label it as.
but you have a hunch that whatever you have stirring within you is what kyoutani has, too.
so you’ll make a move tonight.
whether it be a cheeky flirtation and look for a reaction or a straight up confession, you’ll tell him.
you just don’t know which method you’ll go with.
part of you is worried about his reaction...
what if he’s just warming up to you in a friendly way?
you just managed to become a close friend and nothing more than that!
were you looking too far into things?
you continue your skip to the back door, apologizing at anyone you may have bumped into, and pull the screen door aside.
“hey ‘taro!” you blurt, stepping onto the patio. only, when you turn to spot him where he usually stood leaned against the ledge, he wasn’t there. “wha-” you whirled around and oh...this is what akaashi meant...
pressed against the exterior wall of the house was kyoutani and a girl you’d never seen before.
“oh,” you quickly avert your gaze when they separate from each other. “my bad.”
the girl scoffs, as if mocking you, “um, you’re kind of interrupting?”
“s-sorry!” you profusely apologize, waving your hands in front of your face. you look up to catch his emotionless gaze.
so it did mean more to you than him.
“i’ll uh, just,” you jab your thumb in a direction behind you, “go now.”
kyoutani watches your reaction with a steady stare.
did he effortlessly allure some random girl inside to go outside with him?
and did he attempt to use said girl to erase whatever feelings he might’ve had for you?
only, he didn’t really need you to see that...
there was a part of him which knew you were going to catch him, though.
you always greet him first and you stand outside longer than usual when months earlier you’d be inside for the entirety of the night.
so with that in mind, he mindlessly pushed away the thought of how you’d react and continued with his cruel plan.
but this is what he wanted.
what he needed.
he certainly didn’t need to fall for a dorky bubble of smiles like you.
but if this is what he needed, what he wanted, why the hell did he feel even worse than before.
he wasn’t blind to your feelings either.
he noticed your long gazes at him, the way your hand would brush against his maybe a little too often and the way you’d blush afterward.
yet still, he does this.
he can’t get a word out before you give a final weak smile and scurry back inside, sliding the door shut behind you.
“a friend?” the girl coos in his ear after she watches you leave.
you slide the door closed behind you, and lean against it for a minute, reaching up to cup your cheeks with your cold hands.
you don’t know if your cheeks were flushed from the cold air or from what you had witnessed.
but the strange feeling in your stomach was definitely the effect of the latter.
“y/n!” your other friend, bokuto, greets holding up a red solo cup, “haven’t seen you in forever!”
“i’ve been here. i’ve just been...” you trail off, looking down, “outside.”
from beside him, akaashi elbows bokuto in the stomach to which he whines, “what was that for?”
“i’m sorry, y/n,” akaashi mumbles reaching for you but you retreat quickly. he knows.
“no, no! don’t apologize,” you plead, looking up at them who are looking at you sadly. ugh, you wanted to wipe the frowns off their faces. “it’s not like...we weren’t...i wasn’t.”
of course he noticed.
just by reading your expression, akaashi can tell what you’re feeling and at times, you really hated how you wore your heart on your sleeve.
“do you wanna talk about it?”
“no, no! it’s fine, really. i’m fine.”
you quickly stride around them in hopes of finding one of your roommates.
you spend the next few hours mentally punching yourself for feeling so down when nothing was going on in the first place.
he literally said it himself.
and you thought you could what?
and how you hated that you were wondering what he was doing at that moment...
you retreat back to the main room, where you would’ve been had you not met kyoutani so many months ago.
it’s crazy how one person completely changed your usual routine.
for one, the obvious one, as soon as you reached the frat’s destination, you went straight to the back porch just to say hi to your friend.
hell, you stopped drinking alcohol at these parties because you’d rather remember your conversations with the guy.
you even starting drinking cherry cola after he let you take a sip from his drink.
you really thought you knew him, or you were at least the closest to knowing him.
but you were wrong.
you were nothing but a plaything for him to tease around.
with a clenched jaw, you head straight for the beer pong table.
you don’t return to the back porch at the next party you attend. or the next one. or the one after that. and so on.
you go like you did before you knew kyoutani: just staying inside, traveling throughout the house playing games, conversing with the people you were familiar with and desperately trying to ignore the empty feeling in your chest.
it’d be a lie if you said you didn’t look over at the back door for a second, nearly walking out purely because of instinct.
you didn’t necessarily want to cut him off but you knew just facing him after confronting your own feelings for him would hurt more for you in the end.
kyoutani stands at the usual ledge, occasionally looking behind him.
anyone could tell he was waiting for someone.
huffing, he drops his cigarette onto the ground and steps on it, smushing it with the bottom of his shoe.
it’s been weeks and you’ve yet to step outside.
hell, he isn’t even sure if you’ve been inside this whole time.
he shouldn’t have kissed that girl.
he shouldn’t have been so scared of his own feelings and been so stupid.
but now, he has to face the price.
“fuck it,” he grumbles, spinning on his heels. he yanks open the sliding door (it nearly breaks btw) and steps into the warm air.
instinctively, he face twists into a disgusted expression.
but he’s inside for a reason.
“have you seen y/n?” he asked the multiple people he passed to which they’d shrug or shake their heads.
he sighs, rubbing a hand over his face.
were you even here?
with a heavy heart, he brings a hand up to lightly tug his hair in frustration.
he won’t give up yet, though.
he scours through the sweaty crowds and in the process, a bead of sweat forms on his forehead.
it isn’t until he hears your laugh, one that he’s missed, that he knows he’s somewhere close.
“y/n!” he calls out when he finally finds you.
you spin around in surprise and widen your eyes.
“kyoutani? what’re you doing here?”
“i...live here-wait, ‘kyoutani?’ really?”
“i mean inside,” you deadpan. “and it’s your name isn’t it?”
does he come clean?
lie and say he was...cold?
“i wanted to see you,” he blurts.
“oh,” you blink, twisting your hands behind you. your friends give you a look and you nod at them as if saying ‘it’s ok, you can go,’ before they slip from your circle to leave the two of you alone.
“yeah...it’s been a while since we last talked,” he acknowledges, running a hand through his short hair. you recall him talking about how it was buzzed in high school and you joked that he probably looked even scarier then.
ugh, even not talking to him, you still have the audacity to recall happy memories with him.
“yup,” you lift your cup to your lips, taking a sip.
she’s angry, he thinks with a frown.
“look, i’m sorry about what you saw a few weeks ago-”
“don’t worry about it,” you say with laugh, ignoring the emerging hurt feeling bubbling in your chest.
“i feel like i need to explain, though.”
“explain what?” you smile in confusion, furrowing your brows. “you have your life, dude. do whatever you want.”
“i don’t like the way you’re talking,” he murmurs under his breath so you can’t quite catch his words. dude? since when did you call him that?
“hm? what was that?” you turn your cheek so your ear was facing him.
“nothing, nothing,” he shakes his head. “if things are okay, why don’t you come outside anymore?”
“’didn’t wanna interrupt some face-sucking,” you reply bluntly, rolling your eyes.
“y/n, come on,” he groans. “it’s not like that.”
his voice is stern and you’re close to believing him. but you stand your ground!!
“then?” you ask again, lifting your chin and raising your eyebrows in anticipation. you did not enjoy the way your chest was aching at that moment. sighing, you lower from your high and mighty pose, “y’know what, i’m not even sure why i’m so curious. i don’t care.”
your last words stung.
but kyoutani wasn’t giving up so soon either.
“so all those months bugging me at these shitty parties...you don’t care then?”
his question wasn’t a genuine concern at all. in fact, he already knew your answer. because whether he liked to admit it or not, he knew you.
“that’s not what i meant-”
he had turned the tables on you...
he’s wearing a proud smirk, watching down at you stammer over your words in reaction to his question.
you took a step away from him, recollecting your thoughts since he was so damn smug and curious to know.
letting out a breath of air, you snap your head up to look at him straight in the eye.
(lmao he instinctively widened his eyes and his heart skipped a beat bc holy shit, that was kinda scary...in a really cute, adorable way)
your glare is short lived though. you are standing in front of someone who puts your glare to shame.
“this may not be your intention at all but you’re hurting my feelings,” you start, looking down at your shoes. “a-and i know to you i’m some ditz who can’t seem to take a hint, but i think i’ve gotten yours now.”
“y/n, that’s not what i intended.”
“but that’s exactly what you portrayed. you’re here accusing me that i did this all for nothing and i don’t care. but if anything, you’re the one who doesn’t.”
he pulls his lower lip between his teeth as he began to chew on it.
he knew you were probably angry at him for leading you on but this?
this wasn’t anger in you.
sure, you made yourself look like you’re pissed off but hearing the words tumble out of your mouth, the only emotion written on your face is sadness.
his stomach sinks.
“i actually thought we were ...friends- but y’know what? now, i don’t even know if you considered us friends. i guess we’re more like those relationships in the ocean where the little fish get leftover nutrients from the bigger fish and only one side has any benefits. what is that, mutualism? no...commensalism? yeah, i think it’s that. i’m the little fish who enjoys being around you and you’re the big fish just tolerating me there -”
“y/n, you sound crazy right now-”
“and friends aren’t just supposed to tolerate each other! yes, friends do tolerate each other, but they care for one another and i’ve been the only one caring this entire time, to be honest -”
“y/n, that’s not -”
“because think about it! whenever i saw you, it’s me who says hi first. hell, i’m not even sure if you’ve ever seen me out in public and just chose to ignore me. not to mention, i’m always the one freezing my ass off outside just so i can talk to you at these damn parties -”
“do you know how many people warned me about getting close to you? and i ignored them! because i thought i knew you better than they did! stupid me, i guess, for believing that -”
kyoutani, finally understanding that you weren’t going to let him speak while on your rant, quickly cups your face with both his hands and tries the next best thing to shut you up.
he kisses you.
his eyes squeeze shut, hoping you wouldn’t push him away and slap him, and visibly relaxes when you don’t.
in fact, after a moment of you standing shell-shocked, you practically melt into him.
man, how your kiss was so different than ones he’s had in the past.
it was soft, light, delicate. everything that you were.
he was the complete opposite of you and intended on only ever associating with people who were like him or hard enough to tolerate him.
but no, you had to come along.
you and your bright eyes and childish skips.
when the two of you pull away for air, you’re in a slight daze.
“you do know me better,” he murmurs sternly, never taking his hands off of your face.
you’re still so stunned, you can’t speak.
pulling away with a sigh, he lets his arms hit his sides and admits, “i did all that shit because i was scared.”
“scared?” you repeat softly.
“feelings. caring... i don’t do that sh-stuff,” he corrects himself this time, knowing you don’t appreciate the excessive swears. “but then you happened.”
you frown. “me?”
“yeah. and i thought you were just going to be another one of those ‘i can change him!’ girls and give up after a while. but you stuck around...and that was weird. you chipped and chipped at my wall, patiently waiting for me and as a result, i got scared because...you were getting somewhere.”
you gnaw at your slightly swollen lip and look down.
“you snuck up on me, y/n. with your obnoxiously overbearing and bubbly personality, you got through to me. you became my friend,” he confesses. “and i’m sorry for what i did, really. i thought i was doing it so i wouldn’t be weak because i realized i was starting to care for you, too. if i’m being honest, i had a hunch you had a thing for me and i think as soon as i admitted to myself that i was developing a thing for you, i just...i did the wrong thing. kissing that random chick in hopes of forgetting about my feelings was the weak choice.”
you don’t think you’ve ever heard him be so vulnerable and open about his feelings before.
it makes your heart swell in your chest.
“well,” you begin in a small voice, interlocking your fingers and slowly looking up at him, “you’re lucky i’m a forgiving person.”
a smile, a genuine smile spreads on his face and his eyebrows lift slightly.
“yeah?” he muses, squeezing your hand.
“mhm,” you hum, smiling up at him. “but you have a lot to make up for...”
“y/n, you’ll never be alone to count the stars again.”
your heart just about leaps out of your chest at his promise. you nod softly, a shy smile making it’s way on your face.
“so, can you call me ‘taro now?”
“ah, so you do like the nickname!”
“coming from you...” he trails off, smirking at your grin, “maybe.”
a star tattoo wouldn’t be so bad, kyoutani thinks as he watches your face brighten. the only issue is that no tattoo would ever come close to the stars in your eyes that he could get lost in.
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svt in college! | alex edition
° pairing: ot13 x reader
° genre: fluff(?), what my stream of consciousness finds funny, college!au
° word count: 1034
° warning: slightttt violence
° a/n: i know i have requests to write >< but i really needed to write smth fun :( act as a shot of of serotonin into my veins ahahaha [insert fratboy emoji] disclaimer tho - this was ENTIRELY SELF INDULGENT and very very catered to me which is why vernon’s is unnecessarily long SO IM SORRY !!! i still hope you guys think its fun :D
seungcheol: a business major, minoring in international relations. has the slightest crush on you but suppresses it pretty well without you realizing because he knows you like someone else. he likes to take you on what he calls bestie dates to a nearby arcade or places to eat when you’re stressed.
jeonghan: a psych major, minoring in communications, whom you oddly spend a lot of time with because he asks for homework help every other day when you’ve only taken 1-2 psych classes in your entire life :P but he’s a good listener and subs in as therapist on the weekdays so you let him stick around.
joshua: an english major. doesn’t know why and slightly regrets it but if it means he can keep the tinie bookshelf he has in his doom to make it look like he’s smart, then that’s motivation to keep him going. you tolerate him because you guys randomly go on trips at 2am and buys you food :D
jun: a childhood education major. the friend of a friend of a friend of someone’s cousin that happen to be your friend and so you see him at parties sometimes :) actually really fun to be around when you’re not too much into the party scene and play hopscotch or bean bag toss outside the persons’ backyard.
soonyoung: the loud dance team captain that won’t give you 5 minutes of quiet time waiting for your chem professor to open the door to the lab room because he has his speakers on at max volume dancing to kelly clarkson,,,, he’s pretty chill otherwise, he’s in my math class. claims hes the eye of the tiger when he comes to class in leopard print
wonwoo: premed that’s somehow taking enough classes to graduate with a literature minor. he and cheol talk a lot because they’re in the same broadcasting club or something of the sort. you guys acknowledge each other’s presence and share a moment of tea together sometimes with cheol.
jihoon: double majoring in music composition and theory. says he absolutely hates it because he thinks the work he does is completely pointless. but then goes on to write you like 27484737 love songs within a week for a single assignment. denies to other people that you’re his best friend and that he hates your guts but you’re the only one allowed in his private studio on school days and can fiddle with his equipment sometimes :3
minghao: an art major minoring in history. eventually wants to be a gallery director so he can hold his own. you make him drag you everyone for his work when you’re bored or have free time bc he takes pictures for the school newspaper/website. you guys strike a negotiation that you drive and he buys snacks.
mingyu: you only know him for playing in your uni’s (american) football team. his tall ass is like linebacker or some shit you don’t even know his major. you had to take a kickboxing class for PE credit and you swept him to the ground and put him a choke hold. you never let him live that down everrr. you also steal his lunch money from his bag when he’s at practice.
seokmin: a musical theatre major, minoring in music composition. you guys met through jihoon. you were absolutely FLOORED when you heard him sing as the lead for the school’s spring musical. it is now tradition that you guys get crepes after every show and make jihoon pay B) he hangs out with you and jihoon a lot and randomly make music together. and ahahaha people think jihoon and seokmin are fighting over you!! >:( that’s absolutely preposterous, seokmin is too good of a soul (you say this as you help him kneed dough for the pizza you guys are making together)
seungkwan: an education major, minoring in music because he wants to teach music to little kiddos ^-^ THE BESTEST OF THE BESTIES!!! like if you’re not hanging out with jihoon/seokmin or cheol, you crash at seungkwan’s apartment and raids his kitchen when you run out of groceries ;D he keeps making fun of you for your car until you remind him that he can’t drive. on the weekends, you guys love to bake muffin, cookie, or cake recipes to prep for the daycare on mondays :3
vernon: okay actually, he doesn’t go to college SHDJSJSHS you met him on the side of the road once when you decided to walk instead of using your car (silly you!) and you saw vernon doing some cool graffiti art (IT WASN’T VANDALISM!!!). which was a total coincidence because at that point, you were ready to take a bus and wait right at the bus stop where he set up. since it was a long wait, you guys talked and he kept you company. you learn that this is actually a big project he’s been working on and is finally getting paid big bucks for something he really likes doing. you learn that he’s a great conversationalist and you miss the bus first bus ride home and have to wait another hour or so whoops! this becomes more and more of a daily thing, slowly getting to know each other. fast forward months later and it’s your birthday :D and you don’t expect anything at all because how would he know, you don’t really like your birthday anyways UNTIL vernon surprises you with a spray paint drawing of your favorite animal! and then asks you out on a date and you guys fall deeply in love
chan: a linguistics major. yeah, he doesn’t know why either, he’s just rolling with it. says he’s liking it so far, but no one really knows if he’s lying or not, including yourself. you drag chan to college events like club fairs and rallies because you’re too embarrassed to go alone and no one else wants to go LOL he begs you to drive him places during your three day weekends because he always wants to go off campus and do stuff with you and the guy pals, but he doesn’t like the freeway :/ its fine though because he pays for gas.
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The hardest part of this is leaving you
Hey so i don't know if y'all remember this fic bc i sure do and i wanted to magnify one part of that which was Scott's bit. It's flower husbands angst. And it emotionally scared me to write this. also yea that's a my chem lyric as the title once a killjoy always a killjoy sue me.
TW- MCD (major character death), sacrifice, Gore, (blood/bleeding out), Angst, 3rd life mentioned.
WC: 1288 words
Ao3: p a i n
The first rule of battle, at least as Jimmy was taught, was to never be caught off guard. But he thinks he can get away with it just this once. Cradling Joel's heavy head in one hand, holding tight into Lizzie's cold arm with his other, he grieves. His grief overrides his guard. He's even got the cod head off. He can't get more vulnerable than this. He's alone, without allies. Katherine was nowhere to be seen, Gem was on the other side, Scott- Scott was Scott. He wasn't on Jimmy's side, he was against Sausage.
That was different.
Jimmy couldn't trust Scott as an ally, only as an enemy to his enemy.
He couldn't put trust in him.
Everyone he put trust in is dead.
He doesn't even trust himself.
He's surrounded, body and soul, by people who could easily kill him. Those who wouldn't-
The whistle of an arrow cuts his mind's voice in two.
Jimmy turns away from the noise, looking down at Joel's face.
The arrow finds its target with that familiar, sickening crunch.
He knows the piercing sting of an arrow, enchanted, imbued, or not.
He knows the pain that accompanies the sound.
Why, then, did Jimmy not feel it?
He looks up, eyes catching on the arrow before the face of his savior. The arrow is lodged in the side of their neck, in the break of their armour. The white and gold collar peeking up is already stained with red, turning the fabric into a bright crimson.
There's the sound of a sword thumping against dirt and rock. Of armour clinking against itself. The Codfather is hyper aware of the wind, how it sounds, the smell it carries. The smell of blood. Jimmy stands up, much too quickly, his vision blurring, but he races forward anyways to catch the man that saved his life.
In his arms, he holds Scott.
Scott's breathing is rapid and irregular, Jimmy desperately looks on himself and on Scott for any potions that might help, but he freezes when he feels Jimmy's hand cover his own.
"Sc- Scott?" Jimmy whispers. There's no need, there's no one around them- alive to hear it, at least.
"D- don't-'' Scott murmurs out, taking in a deep breath that makes his face contort with pain.
"What- Scott- Why? You took that arrow for me- why?" Jimmy asks.
"You really don't remember then-" Scott says, voice fizzling out onto coughing. Jimmy shifts to help him become more comfortable. If Scott had nothing to help, or didn't want to be helped, then Jimmy wouldn't take anything away from him.
"Remember- I don't really- I thought you hated me-" Jimmy can't remember anything from before… this, waking up in the jungle, sore from sitting on the cobble throne, alone. Once he got set up, he felt a strong pull to Joel, who turned out to be one of his closest allies, but to Scott as well, but when Scott never showed that they were close friends, Jimmy just… let it go. Until now at least. Scott, hand shaking, reaches up to cup Jimmy's face. Jimmy helps him, pressing his face into Scott's palm- cold. His hand is so cold.
"You were my voice. It's funny, I- I got shot in the neck- you got shot in the head. I was your mind," Jimmy laughs lightly, sounds like him alright, "and you were my voice." Scott sounds so quiet, and far away, like it's taking any strength he has left to tell him this.
"I- wh- whatever happened, Scott, I'm so sorry I let you down now. You deserved so much better than what I could've given you and I'm so sorry- please- let me- there has to-" Jimmy says, gripping Scott's hand tighter. Jimmy doesn't remember what Scott's talking about, but he remembers feeling something. Almost as if this was a repeat of Scott's memories, but the roles being reversed. Jimmy wonders if he died in Scott's arms. That's what he asks. Scott can't help but smile.
"No, I couldn't get to you in time. But you looked so beautiful that day, and even still when I went back for you." Scott runs a weak thumb across Jimmy's cheek, bringing his attention to tears that had formed. "Don't cry, morning glory, I couldn't bear to see you die again."
"Again- Scott- I-" Jimmy parrots, before Scott cuts him off, Jimmy immediately lets him speak.
"You have nothing to be sorry-" Scott coughs again, blood staining his lips, Jimmy's eyes stinging. "-about. I thought if I avoided you, you'd be safe, but- I can't live without you, Jimmy. You still mean everything to me, hyacinth, and I- ugh-" Scott stops and huffs, Jimmy can tell he's still him. Under the shaky breaths, and the red, white and gold- he can see that it's still the snarky, sarcastic Scott he'd spent another life with. "It's cold. I don't remember it being this cold-" Jimmy immediately curls around Scott, trying to warm him up- keep his blood going, good god, trying to keep his blood going.
"Why did you do this? Why?" Jimmy whispers hoarsely.
"Because I loved you. I still do, Jimmy, My rose, I still- do…" 'Scott murmurs, voice fading out- no, no- Jimmy just- Scott's just told him this and he knows Scott is telling the truth- he knows- he also thinks some part of him… still-
"You loved me?" Jimmy says, kissing the inside of Scott's palm, a part of him still loves Scott, too.
"Jimmy? Jimmy, are you there? Are you- I- I can't-" Scott says, voice fragile, panicking.
"Scott, Scott, I'm here, Scott- Scott- I'm here, Scott please-" Jimmy says, cupping Scott's face with one hand, and holding Scott's to his with his other hand. He can feel his pulse under his fingertips, its beating, but getting weaker, he can't- Jimmy can't lose him- not after he just got him back- he can see flashes, flower forests, cows, starlit skies- nights awake, much longer than they should be, talking, and laughing. He can see a ring in his hands, Scott's surprised, but overjoyed face- and he remembers the way he felt when Scott said yes. He feels the warm ghost of a hand on his shoulder. He can't- Jimmy just got him back- "Scott- please? I remember now- I do- Scott, poppy, please- I- I remember- no- no, no, no- Scott don't- don't you dare- don't you dare- Scott please-" Jimmy can't feel Scott's pulse anymore. He lets Scott's hand slide from his to cradle both sides of Scott's face. He wipes the blood away from around the side of his mouth. Tears stinging his eyes again, his chest and throat growing tight- why, why did Scott do that? "You- why- why, why, why, why, why? Scott," Jimmy chokes back a sob, and lets his head hang, "I was supposed to be the one to die for you, not the other way around- why, stupid, beautiful, selfless, why? Daffodil, sunflower, starshine, why- I just got you back- please- it's it's not- i- it's not fair-" he sobs again, ugly and brutal, nothing like Scott, nothing like Scott, "I just- how- why are you being ripped away from me again- you- i- we- we could've left, we could've- you and me- we could've left and made something because we were alive again- I don't- I can't- Scott- I'm so sorry-" his body shakes, he can't take it- knowing their past together, and now have to face his future without him- it was-
Maybe he wouldn't have to live without him much longer.
There's a sword tip pointed at the back of his head.
And just inside his vision-
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Idia Shroud・Voice Lines
Additional Voice Lines
Star Send-Off Garments event card
Scary Dress event card
School Uniform - R
“I want to live quietly, in private, without anyone ever noticing me...”
“Ah, my relax time keeps getting pushed back...”
“Ahh, not feeling it...”
“Calling out to an antisocial like me with that uniform on and a smile on your face... Hah~ Gotta hand it to you!”
“Classes? I-I don’t go to the classrooms; I take classes using my tablet. Leave me alone.”
“Where’s Ortho? Ee! When did you get there? M-M-My little brother didn’t come back from his prowl—I mean, his walk...”
Home Transition (Login Greeting)
“H-Hello. Sorry, I’m really a total buzz kill. Could you just pretend I’m a worthless worm and act like I’m not here?”
“Generally I hate talking face-to-face, but if I’m playing a BG... What, you don’t know what BG means? It stands for ‘board game’...” ¹
“Ee! Wh-What are you doing...?! D-D-Did I do something?! Am I annoying you just by breathing?!”
“...What? You can look at me like that all you want, but small talk is so insanely difficult for me; I just can’t do it...”
“Classrooms make me uncomfortable. Especially when Cater starts giving me a hard time with that outgoing aura of his ‘cause he can’t realize I’m not interested—I hate it, I hate it...”
“Nononono, I really can’t handle your energy. I’m not capable of getting all excitable like you.”
PE Uniform - R
“This sucks. What’s the point of getting exercise?”
“I thought of a way to get out of having to play. W-Want me to tell you...?”
“This is so hard...”
“Wait, you’re really full of energy. C-Could you take this class instead of me? I-I-It’s fine, really, no one’s gonna notice a thing!”
“I’m so done with this. I’m out of shape. Also I got some moussaka caught in my throat so I think I wanna go sit down somewhere.” ²
“I mean, anyone can do sports if they try. I could do them. I just refuse to even attempt them.”
Home Transition (Login Greeting)
“Literally the worst. Someone obliterate all classes where they make you work outside already.”
“I’m starting to think Coach Vargas speaks an entirely different language. Maybe I’d understand him if I took Animal Lang before Flying?”
“The only one who can keep up with me during Flying is Azul, surprisingly.”
“Walking and flying are hella annoying. I’m trying to think what the specs would be to let me ride on Ortho’s back.”
“Only humans would come up with the idea of doing pointless exercise just to use up nutrients they’ve already taken in. It’s all complete BS!”
“Stop it. I really don’t have the energy for this right now. Leave me alone...”
Lab Coat - SR
“Shh! I’m concentrating. Stop talking to me.”
“I-I want to stay true to my curiosities...”
“Y-Y-You have a question for me?! Please no.”
“Oh~? You’re struggling with the questions published in that textbook? Really? The basics of the basics?”
“Want me to help you with your work? Let me touch Grim’s fluffy fur first, then we’ll talk.”
“Every time I run into Crewel he tells me to stop slouching like a cat³ and straightens my posture for me. I can’t stand dog people. But I do like dogs.”
Home Transition (Login Greeting)
“Everyone starts relying on me all of a sudden during moments like these. 3D people really are something...”
Home Transition (Groovy)
“T-Tests and games are kind of similar. I mean like, the higher your score, the better it makes you feel...”
“It’d make things so much easier if we could just access the library and the botanical garden from our dorms. They’re too far to get to from my room.” ⁴
“E-E-Engineering is more my field, so... i-if you have questions about chem, you should probably ask someone else...”
“I’ve invested all of my skill into Ortho. And I need to keep researching so that he doesn’t start to break down.”
“There’s actually a lot of people in the science club. ...Meanwhile the board game club is quiet and almost no one’s there, so that was my only option.”
“You really have no chill. ...You’re not that good at labs, are you? Hehe!”
Home Tap (Groovy)
“If technology’s advanced enough, sometimes you can’t even distinguish it from magic... I mean, I’ve maxed out in both, though.”
Ceremony Robes - SR
“I hate crowded places. Leave me alone...”
“Now that the internet’s so advanced, why are we still having ceremonies offline...?”
“It’s not going to hurt anyone if I’m not there.”
“‘Ignihyde students, eyes on your dorm leader!’ ...I’d die if I ever had to say that. I’m leaving as soon as I find Ortho.”
“I feel everyone staring at me... T-They’re gossiping about me, aren’t they?! I know they are!”
“Why can’t they just livestream the ceremony these days? It’s so stupid wasting all this time and energy just to have everyone in one place.”
Home Transition (Login Greeting)
“I-I see people everywhere I go... Ee! L-Let me take a break here.”
Home Transition (Groovy)
“Why are there so many outgoing kids at a school that has such an emo name? You’re the only one I can trust, since you’re introverted like me.”
“There’s really no point to traditions. We all need to keep updating so we can keep up with technology.”
“Widdle Wucius looks so adowabwy ugwy wike aw-ways~ With your squishy... paw pads.... ...! You saw...”
“Doesn’t it ever feel like someone’s watching you in the Mirror Chamber even when there’s no one there? ...I’m joking, hehe!”
“Ah, I’m so nervous... I’ve never been good with crowds.”
“So typical of the eager, innocent youth... Do they think I can handle this all of a sudden?!”
Home Tap (Groovy)
“I’m jealous of how empty your dorm is. I wish it was just me and Ortho in a dorm and no one else...”
Birthday Celebration Outfit - SSR
This card was only obtainable during Idia’s birthday event (Dec 17 - Dec 23, 2020).
Login on Birthday
“What is it? I’m busy getting my favorite characters’ birthday voice lines right now... Celebrating in real-life is reserved for family only. ...Huh? You’re here for to throw my birthday party? Y-You? Eee...! C-Could you please notify me in advance when you’re having advanced-level events like that!? I was caught off-guard and I’m unarmed!”
“Dozens of people celebrating for me... This is a cursed event for a shut-in...”
“Hah... I’m the birthday boy but I’m not that excited about this. Let’s cancel the party today. Okay, everyone leave~”
“Th-Thx for celebrating for me... Huh? You don’t know what that means? What about Tks? 10Q? TY!?” ⁵
“Don’t only normies have fun wearing party clothes?”
“If I use my birthday as an excuse, could I make my dream of petting Sir Grim a reality? Hehe! M-Maybe I should ask...”
“Sir Azul gave me a cup as a gift, like one you’d see at fancy restaurants. Does it even match my room?”
“Sir Cater came up to me saying ‘Let’s take a birthday pic for the memories!’ Overly-friendly extroverts are scary. I want to go back to my room right now...”
Home Transition (Login Greeting)
“There has to be some sort of catch if you’re actually celebrating my birthday. I-Is this a scheme to give me false hope? A sign that a depressing event is starting? Ee!”
Home Transition (Groovy)
“T-Time! I can't be around this many people anymore. Take me somewhere without anyone around, now!”
“One time, our parents got mad at Ortho and I after we took apart a game console they got me for my birthday. But I swear we were going to put it back together right after...”
“Sir Malleus’ present... The Diasomnia students were so formal when they brought it to me; I thought something was wrong...”
“Having a birthday is the same thing as losing a year of life... I can’t understand the people who get so excited about it.”
“I went shopping earlier and Sir Sam told me ‘Here’s an extra something for your birthday.’ H-He... gave me some snacks...! He’s a nice man...”
“...I-I’m sending out all these ‘leave me alone’ vibes, but you can’t read the room at all... You must not have friends, huh?”
Home Tap (Groovy)
“I’m a year older—level up! I’ve overcome my social awkwardness~! ...No, I haven’t. Well, at least the party wasn’t as bad as I thought it’d be.”
Idia: Eek, Sir Floyd!? Alert: extrovert approaching...
Floyd: Happy birthday, Firefly Squid.
Take His Hand
“Hi... So can I go back now?”
“Gaining lots of EXP... Heheh!”
“Leveling up is crucial.”
“Dum duh-duh-duh-duuum! ♪ Level up!”
Max Lv Up
“H-Hey... I reached my max level, right? So I don’t have to work so hard anymore, right?”
“Sometimes I see characters with weird level-up gauges I’d be interested in challenging myself with. ...I’m talking about you.”
Magic Lv Up
“Ahh, I could power up my magic all I want but it won’t bring me any good in real life. Hah.”
“I-Is there something fun about paying attention to me? ...Don’t grin like that... Weirdo.”
“I’m getting pumped up! The whole universe is out there waiting for me! ...’Kay, the spark’s gone now; back to normal again...”
“I hate outdoor classes... I hate outdoor classes...”
“I can still study even if I don’t go to class... Why do we have to do it in person?”
“P-People have been staring for a while now. Pick already! Go!”
“Ee! ...There’s so many people.”
“That’s enough class for an entire week.”
“I’ll finish this in 1 turn.”
“I wasn’t done grinding~”
“I’m better suited for dark and gloomy places. So please, can you just leave me alone?”
January 2020 Trailer
“Oh, so you’re the problem child I’ve heard all about. But as long as you stay away from me, I don’t care.” ⁶
“The fact that you’re here in a place like this... It seems like you’ve been abandoned by the Goddess of Fate.”
“Getting login bonuses not just on online games but by showing up at school too kind of gives me a little motivation...”
Player Birthday Wish
“Don’t you hate being wished a happy birthday by people you barely know? You get presents you don’t care about, and then you gotta react to them... Huh? It’s not like that for you? Er... Oh. Th-Th-Then... uh... h-h-h-hap-happy b-b-birthday...”
1. What, you don’t know what BG means? It stands for board game...
The abbreviation Idia uses here is “bodoge” which stands for “bodogemu.” There’s no English equivalent for the shortened “bodoge” so I went with its initials for this line.
2. I got some moussaka caught in my throat
This is a cameo from Hercules, mirroring Hades’ line: “You know, I haven't been this choked up... since I got a hunk of moussaka caught in my throat!”
3. Stop slouching like a cat
Crewel’s quote actually reads as “Fix your slouching shoulders,” here, but the word for “slouching shoulders” literally translates to “cat back” (nekoze). To make Idia’s next comments make more sense, I reworded this to include the pun.
4. ...if we could just access the library and the botanical garden from the dorms
I took some liberties with translating this line so I’d like to leave a note for it. Literally, this line translates to “It’d be easy if the library and the dorm came to me from somewhere,” but the nuance here is “If the library and botanical garden were right here (ie. able to be accessed from my current location [my room], probably digitally), then there’d be no need to actually go to them in person, which make things easier.”
I think it’s better to make this a little clearer in English, so I rephrased it.
5. What about Tks? 10Q? TY!?
He lists various net slang terms for “thank you.” I substituted with English terms. The originals were トンクス・サンガツ・397.
6. So you’re the problem child I’ve heard all about
This is a direct line from Hercules, but it’s exclusive to the Japanese dub. The English dub’s version says “Ah! There’s the little sunspot, little snootchie.” For obvious reasons I couldn’t include the cameo as it’s said in English 😂
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ok not to be depressing but november has been the worst month for my mental health
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Spare mason head canons? Any spare mason head canons for the poor? (This is nuka world blues btw also hi I love your art)
howdy howdy howdy, i have many headcanons for sale
already p well established, but he’s an absolute fucking unit
Prolly one of the only people who’s taller than Gage (who I hc is like... 6′1″ or so)
I’m talking like 6′7″
300 lbs at least, prolly more tho
he will bend you into a pretzel
also he’s that healthy kinda muscular where you can tell he’s absolutely fucking ripped but there’s a healthy layer of fat over it like there’s supposed to be
he ain’t really tech savvy specifically when it comes to computers, but he’s a lot smarter than he lets on when it comes to people
and weaponry, for that matter
i mean those predator grenades he gives you at the end of the Nuka-World questline (assuming you let the pack live)? He straight up says he was the one who made them after messing around with some tech he found on a couple of Ops’s corpses. Which he killed, I might add
that being said though, i actually HC he may have come from a vault. which one? I have no idea. But he got real fuckin tired of vault life and headed out as soon as he could before stumbling into the pack. None of em thought he’d be shit at first but they still let him in, and look where he’s at now?
now to be clear there ain’t any bits of evidence in game of him being a vaultie being the case - this is my own take. Only reason i say it might be is simply considering the fact that so many people would be small and malnourished because of the harsh wastes. Meanwhile, we have Mason (and Cito, though that’s a can of worms in of itself) who’s tall as fuck and built like a brick shit house to boot
So if you wanna go that route you can but you don’t have to
i like to think he’s the chaotic neutral, airing on evil version of Hancock
let’s his people do what they want, but he’s in charge, they know that, and will be reminded if they need to be
speaking of Hancock, his romance (if mason had one >:’) ) would be a chaotic neutral airing on evil version of Hancock’s, too. Puts up that cocky persona so people don’t fuck with him or you, but v much turns into a softy when he’s around you.
prolly just as if not more horny tho let’s be real
Surprisingly playful, likes to tease - will call you a shithead for fun
he will give you noogies - it’s going to happen, you’re just gonna have to deal
honestly? I think he’s bi
drinks he respec women juice (honestly the level of misogyny i’ve seen from Mason content, namely fic, is rather alarming since there’s nothing in game even suggesting he’d be that way (aside from him calling Mags a bitch, and that’s when she and her brother riot and take over the power plant if it’s the ops that get fucked over, which imo is justified)
like there’s literally nothing saying he’d treat em any less and it bugs me just how many people think he’d act that way
very much the youngest of the bosses tho - i’m talkin like mid to late twenties
it’s implied in game that he may or may not have actually killed the previous alphas before taking their place (mags mentions she’s looking evidence for it iirc), and while i wouldn’t entirely put it past him to do so, i like to think the tarring and feathering is what did the previous alphas in
which isn’t a good thing considering you’re specifically not supposed to kill the alphas when challenging them, only strip them of their rank and exile them
in game his bed is just a pile of pillows by his terminal, which like... valid
but also consider: his bedroom being in a dressing room in the back stage of the amphitheater, separate from everyone else’s. lots of fun string lights, plenty of mirrors so he can look at himself while he’s putting on his face paint for the day, the works
still has his glorified pile of pillows, but also a hammock that he LOVES napping in if he ain’t got shit to do (which is very rare all things considered). maybe a beanbag chair
will use rifles n the like if he has to, but he’s much more a fan of shotguns and melee weaponry.
for some reason this makes me think of the Psychos from Borderlands
just... absolutely feral/violent on the battlefield
ain’t afraid to play dirty if he has to, though normally he ain’t one to let himself get into that position in the first place if he can help it
doesn’t really fuck with chems or booze, but might have some jet or daytripper if he’s having a REALLY bad day
gotta keep sharp yo
that being said, he actually ends up being the designated trip sitter half the time during parties n shit
which the pack has a lot of
he doesn’t mind, really - but they owe him if it’s a surprise tripsitting
His voice is a bit raspier than it actually is since he’s gotta pull out the Commanding voice to make sure people and animal alike are put back in line
which, considering the state the previous alphas left the pack in, he’s gotta do it a lot
he loves his pack, he really does, but jesus fucking christ
honestly tho, despite him having to bare his teeth as much as he has to to make sure people are doing what they’re supposed to do, he’s surprisingly hard to actually piss off.
though if you do piss him off? good luck
you’re absolutely fucking screwed
hates seafood of all kinds - thinks it tastes gross
if he HAS to eat it he will ofc, but he will bitch
much prefers land meats
namely lamb (if that’s a thing which i assume it is) and radstag. he does love a good gamey taste
certainly ain’t gonna pass up a bramhin steak, that being said
definitely works out, be it deliberately or through whatever he’s doing on his day to day
I’ll prolly have more in the future about mason or the pack in general (or honestly just nuka world shit since my hyperfixation has shifted back to nuka time now) but this is what i got so far
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Can We Just Talk?
Pairing: Gender neutral!Y/N x childhood bestfriend!Taehyun
Word Count: 4.3K
Genre: Angst, fluffy ending, best friends to lovers AU! Highschool!AU
Warnings: Mild cursing, some bullying, also I didn’t proofread :P
Synopsis: Growing up with Taehyun by your side was all you could ask for in a best friend, but when high school slowly starts to separate you two, you realize you might’ve taken your time together for granted. Was this how you two parted ways?
*gif not mine*
“What? Did you want some?” You turned to see Taehyun holding out his goldfish to you. You had been daydreaming again and he had understood something was on your mind. Grabbing a handful of goldfish, Taehyun smiles and scooted closer, “what are you dazed about this time?”
See now, you didn’t want to tell him how you thought about him running his delicate hands through your hair. How you thought about his strong arms trapping you in a warm embrace, or how his plush lips would feel against yo-
“Y/N? I asked you a question,” snapping you out of your trance, you glance over at him. “It’s nothing, just stressed about the chem exam tomorrow,” you lied through your teeth. He nodded and smiled, knowing full well you were lying, but he didn’t want to pry you. He figured you’d tell him on your own if it was something major bothering you.
That was one of the last, full conversations you two shared for 3 months. 3 months ago, you practically lost your lifelong best friend to a group of popular kids and Soo Ah. She has a crush on Taehyun and everyone knows that...well..everyone except Taehyun. For someone so intelligent, he was so oblivious to the way she acted. He was never good with telling if someone had a crush on him and just thought they were super nice. He’s not stupid, just really blind.
Luckily for you, this played in your favor at times you slipped up and were way too obvious about your crush.
You pushed yourself away from Taehyun because the more you stuck around him, the more you fell in love with him. He noticed the space growing between you two and tried to make things up to you, but after a while, he stopped trying. He thought you just needed some space and that’s what he gave you. Over time, the space became overbearing and he had drifted to his new friends.
Skipping lunch, you headed to the school’s courtyard to scroll through your phone under the shade of a tree. It was a bit cooler out, autumn having just started. “Hey stupid!” Your head shooting up at the name only to see Beomgyu jogging over to you, a dumb smile plastered on his handsome face.
Beomgyu was one of yours and Taehyun’s mutual friends, alternating the days he’d spend his lunch with Taehyun and you. He knew everything about you and Taehyun slowly drifting, your massive crush on him, and everything in between.
He sat next to you, leaning against the trunk of the tree. He glanced at your phone, resting his chin on your shoulder. “OW, Beomgyu, your chin is sharp as hell,” “Hun, I know my jawline can cut, but you don’t have to be so aggressive,” he smirked at you. You shoved his face away (lightly) and scoffed, “please, if I wanted to say anything about your jawline, it’s that you need to work on it.” That was a flat out lie because Beomgyu had the sharpest jawline in the school but you didn’t want to admit it. “What’re you doing out here? Thinking about Taehyun?” he teased you. You eyed him, “yeah and? What about it?”
You missed Taehyun, a lot. You wished you could’ve just gotten over this stupid crush and stayed friends. If you had any ideas on becoming friends again without it being awkward, you’d have done that already, but to no avail. “Any plans on getting him back or winning his heart over?” Beomgyu grinned at you, making you really tempted to flick his forehead.
The two of you heard loud laughter and chattering, and when you looked over, it was Taehyun’s group, as you expected. Letting out a sigh, you went back to scrolling mindlessly through Twitter. What you didn’t know was Taehyun had returned the gaze when you put your head down.
What you also didn’t know was that Taehyun missed you even more, but he didn’t know if it was okay to approach you. He thought you might need more space, afraid he’s making you uncomfortable. He was so lonely without you by his side and his new friends weren’t as genuine as you were.
The bell rang and Beomgyu pulled you up off the ground, slinging an arm around your shoulders as you guys walked to your class together, math. You hated math, you could never grasp what was going on, but Taehyun would make that class bearable for you. That is, until, you know…
You sat in your assigned seat, Beomgyu letting go of you and going to his behind you. Taehyun and Soo Ah came in shortly after, Taehyun being on your right and Soo Ah on Taehyun’s other side. It was just your luck to be assigned to that seat, but at least Beomgyu was right there.
Searching through your bag, you couldn’t find your pencil. Turning around to face Beomgyu, you knew full well he took your spare pencil, “Gyu, I need my pencil.” “Wha-what pencil, pfft, I don’t have your pencil,” Beomgyu smiled at you, slowly moving the borrowed pencil under the desk. “I’m serious, I can’t find my pencil and you took my spare,” he pinched your cheek and just giggled, “Let me have it please, I forgot mine again.” You scoffed at Beomgyu for the nth time that day, he’s so forgetful.
Settling on looking for a pen, you turn back around to see a pencil sitting on your desk. You knew it wasn’t yours, looking around to see who put it there, your eyes met Taehyun’s, who smiled brightly at you. Mouthing a “thank you,” you turned back around to give Beomgyu a quick flick to the forehead before facing forward again when the teacher walked in. “OW!” he whisper-shouted, making you chuckle a bit, and unknowingly, Taehyun laughed to himself too.
The rest of the day went by far too slow, but you could finally leave this hellhole and that’s all that mattered to you. Walking out of your last class, you were heading home when you felt someone put their hand on your shoulder. “Y/N! Wait!” the familiar sound of Taehyun’s voice in your ears.
You turned your head to see a slightly out-of-breath Taehyun who had ran out of the classroom to catch up with you. “Can we please talk?” he asked, surprised by his sudden approach, you nod your head. He’s quick to move as he slides his hand down from your shoulder to your wrist. He drags you to the same tree you were under in the courtyard, where you sat with Beomgyu during lunch.
Taehyun looked down at you, almost like he was in pain, “Y/N, what happened to us?” You were a bit taken aback by his straightforwardness, unsure of what exactly to say. “I’m not sure Taehyun, I really don’t know,” your voice getting softer towards the end of the sentence. You were lying right to his face, you knew why the distance grew and you felt as though it was partially your fault. “Y/N, please don’t lie to me, you know I’m always here for you and I won’t judge you. You kept pushing me away so I gave you space cause I thought you might need some alone time, but it’s been too long. Let me be by your side, through whatever you may be going through, please.” His voice broke, his normally bright and smiling eyes showing a sense of longing in them.
You felt terrible and you didn’t want your friendship to end like this, “I’m sorry Taehyun, I-“ “Taehyun-ah! Let’s go!” In the distance stood Soo Ah, waving her hand at him. When Taehyun faced her, she was already walking towards him, smiling at Taehyun and only Taehyun. Your heart cracked at the sight of them in front of you. “Taehyun, we were supposed to go out together after class. I’ve been looking for you everywhere,” Soo Ah glancing in your direction after saying “go out TOGETHER.”
You could feel your heart hammering against your chest when Taehyun smiled at her. “Oh yeah, sorry, let’s go?” Taehyun’s grasp finally leaving your wrist from when he first dragged you through the hallways just a few minutes ago. You watched as Soo Ah linked arms with him, walking off, the two of them acting as if you weren’t even there.
A single tear falling from your eye as you watched them walk off together, Soo Ah turning back to you and smirking. Furiously wiping the tear away, you quickly walked to Beomgyu’s house.
“Holy fUCK, Y/N!” Beomgyu jumped up from his bed, startled that you were in his house, his bedroom door flinging open from your impatience.
He was still wearing his school uniform but the necktie loosened and the first button undone. Beomgyu noticed the tears pooling in the corners of your eyes as you gasped and hiccuped, trying to hold everything in.
He walked over, embracing you tightly, “Wanna tell me what happened?” You finally let everything out, your tears nonstop, stumbling over your words with hiccups, “T-taehyun and I w-were ta-talking about what ha-happened, whEn-when SoO-sOo Ah interrupted a-and..anD shE-she said h-her and T-taehyun were su-supposed to g-go out t-together, just-just the two o-of th-them.” “Y/N, breathe. You need to breathe.” He slowly stroked your head before pulling away to see your face.
After another half hour of crying and trying to explain a bit more of what happened, Beomgyu looked at you with a sad expression. He loved Taehyun but sometimes Taehyun was so dense.
“Gyu?” “Hm?” “Do you think Taehyun likes his new friends more than me? Do you think...he likes Soo Ah more than me?” Your voice trailed off at the end. “I don’t think so, Y/N. I know it seems like he does but something seems a bit off when he’s with them, like he’s not as happy with them. I’ve seen the way he acts when he’s with you and when he’s with them. As for Soo Ah? I’m not sure, hun.”
The next day, your first few classes passed in a blur. You walked outside during lunch like usual, having no appetite or willpower to walk into the cafeteria knowing you’ll see Taehyun and his group at the table closest to the door.
You were sitting under the usual tree, looking through social media but not paying much attention to any of it. You heard footsteps approach you but didn’t think much of it, assuming it was Beomgyu. Who you thought was Beomgyu was wearing a pair of shoes you knew didn’t belong to him.
You glanced up to see Soo Ah looking down at you, “Can I help you?” Soo Ah, arms crossed, said “Yeah you can, stay away from Taehyun. I’m gonna confess to him today and I know he’ll say yes, so I need you to back off.” Scoffing at her confidence, you narrowed your eyes at her, “what makes you think he likes you?” “I just know he does, the way he looks and smiles at me, I suggest you cut off all contact with him before I do it for you.” You raise a brow at her, unimpressed by her response, “trust me, you’re not special enough for him to accept your confession.” This time, Soo Ah scoffed at you, “Yeah? Then why’d he leave you to be with me, hm?”
You were completely speechless, all you could do was glare, because she wasn’t exactly wrong. Before you knew it, you felt an ice cold liquid running down your head, wetting your uniform. “Y/N!” You heard that same familiar voice shout your name. Taehyun came running over, seeing the whole thing, Beomgyu right on his tail, outside long enough to see you get covered in water.
Taehyun had held his hand out to help you up from where you were sitting on the ground, but you got up on your own. He looked at you, worried and unsure of what to do, “are you okay?” completely ignoring Soo Ah’s presence. Taehyun reaches out to try and hold you, hug you, something, however, you shoved him away.
“Don’t act like you care,” you barked, confusion was plastered on his face, “What are you talking about? I’ve always cared, Y/N.” “Oh really? Cause for the past three months it surely seems like you didn’t care enough to still be friends with me. You didn’t care enough to finish talking to me yesterday but ran off with Soo Ah to go on your little date. You didn’t care enough to talk to me or even be with me when you saw me alone these past three months. So when? When did you care?” you seethed through your teeth, your jaw clenching in anger.
Taehyun scoffed, in complete disbelief that you would say that, “Me?? Not caring? As if, Y/N. That’s pure bullshit, when have I not cared? When you first started pushing me away I still tried to keep us together because I didn’t want to lose you, but you still kept pushing me further away. I thought you just wanted to be alone so I let you. I was waiting for when you were ready to talk because I thought we were friends, but you didn’t trust me enough to tell me anything. I’m not stupid, Y/N, I know you were lying every time I asked you if you were okay or what you were thinking about. It seemed like YOU didn’t care. You made no effort to keep me by your side, you made no effort to tell me or talk to me about it. Are you kidding me? I’m the one who doesn’t care?” By this time, Beomgyu had dragged Soo Ah away to leave you two alone to talk, not wanting to be there for something he shouldn’t see or hear.
“I DO care, Taehyun. God, do you think I would’ve liked you for so long if I DIDN’T care?” At this point, tears of agony and pent up anger were streaming down your face like a waterfall; freefalling. “You...you what?” Taehyun was clearly shocked by what you had said, and it finally hit you.
You just confessed. You just told him how you felt after all this time. Quickly grabbing your bag, you sprinted to the girls bathroom, breezing past Beomgyu on the way there. Taehyun started to chase after you to catch up, but who knew you could run so fast in this situation? You slammed the stall door and collapsed against it, covering your mouth to muffle your sobs.
Wiping your tears was no use because they just kept coming. Suddenly, a voice echoed into the bathroom from the door, “Y/N? It’s Beomgyu, if you need anything, I’m right outside okay? I can lend you my jacket to cover the wet spot on your uniform. If you want, we can go to the nurse’s office so you don’t have to go to class.”
Finally managing to stop the tears, you wiped your face, not even trying to cover up the fact that you were just sobbing. Your eyes were far too red and puffy for you to try and trick anyone. You walked out of the bathroom, your head hanging. Beomgyu had covered you with his jacket, leading you to the nurse’s office.
After about five aimless minutes, you two walked out of the nurse’s office, the nurse saying there’s nothing she can do about your “stomach pains.” Beomgyu tried to argue with her but you just pulled him out, telling him it’s no big deal.
Of course it wasn’t “no big deal” to you, because you didn’t want to have to go to the rest of your classes when Taehyun was in every one of your last few periods.
You and Beomgyu walked into class, your eyes looking anywhere but at Taehyun. Slowly sliding into your seat, you scoot as far from Taehyun as possible without moving your desk. He seemed to have noticed though, a sudden sharp intake of breath coming from him.
Every class after lunch had felt increasingly long, but when the final bell rang, you packed your things and practically sprinted out like your life depended on it.
You ran all the way back home, lucky that it wasn’t too far from the school.
On your way home, you prayed that Taehyun wasn’t behind you, but you heard his voice booming from just a few feet behind you. Picking up the pace, you reached your front door, house key already in hand. Somehow you managed to get the door open and slip through just before he reached the handle.
You locked the door behind you, panting from having run so fast for so long. P.E. did not prepare you enough for moments like this. Taehyun started pounding on the door, “Y/N, please! We need to talk.” Before you knew it, your eyes were pooling with tears again, “I really don’t want to talk to you right now, Taehyun. Please leave.”
Checking the peep hole, you saw him breathing heavily as he looked down. “You can’t avoid me forever, Y/N, please. It’s pointless. We have to talk about it sooner or later.” “I don’t want to, I’ll avoid you if I want to,” you stated, you were nowhere near ready to approach him. You were unprepared emotionally and mentally, because all you could think about was how he’ll reject you.
After taking off your shoes, you slowly walked up the stairs, practically pulling yourself because of the lack of strength in your legs. You fell into your bed, letting out all your tears and frustration. The tears would not stop but you didn’t fight them. Everything came crashing down and you just felt so suffocated by it all.
Was this how your years of built up friendship just ended?
You didn’t even realize a few hours had passed already when you heard a light knock on your door, “Y/N? Come eat dinner now,” your brother, Hyunsik, softly called. You quickly wiped your tears, saying you weren’t hungry and he let you know the food was in the fridge when you felt like eating.
Y/N’s mom was downstairs when she heard knocking on the front door. She opened it to see Taehyun standing there, and with how long you’ve been friends for, he was like her second son.
“Oh! Taehyun-ah, what brings you here?” He quickly bowed, “Hello 어머니 (eomeoni), is Y/N home?” “Oh yes she is, but did something happen to her? She hasn’t come out of her room since she got home and her lights have been off the whole time.” Taehyun fidgeted with the hem of his hoodie, faking a smile and saying, “she told me she’s feeling a bit unwell so I came to check up on her, if that’s okay.”
Your mom smiled brightly at him, “ah you’re so sweet, if only my real son were this nice to Y/N,” she said, making sure she was loud enough for your brother to hear. Taehyun giggled a bit and your mom let him in, ushering him upstairs.
He slipped his shoes off and walked up to your room. His hand hovered for a bit when he finally knocked on the door softly, when he heard a groan come from the other side of the door, “Hyunsik, I told you I’m not hungry.”
Taehyun cleared his throat a bit, “It’s uh..it’s Taehyun.” Your eyes widened, why the hell was he here now? “Why-why are you here?” “I told you I need to talk to you, let me in please.” You got up from the bed, your hand floated above the doorknob, you really didn’t want to see him right now but he was already inside your house.
You slowly pulled the door open, just enough for him to slip inside, then walked to the other side of your room, wanting to keep space between you two. He shuffled in slowly before quietly shutting the door behind him. Taehyun reached for the light switch to turn it on, you hissed slightly from the sudden brightness paining your eyes when you had been laying in the dark for hours.
Both of you were silent for a minute, letting tension fill up the space. He studied your figure, how you were slouched and your breathing was rigid from crying. You were still wearing your school uniform, Beomgyu’s oversized jacket draped over you.
When you had let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding, you had asked, “why’d you come he-“ You couldn’t even finish your question when Taehyun had cut you off, “do you really like me?”
There was no point in you trying to deny it, all you could do was nod at his question. His gaze softened and he began to walk closer to you.
“So you mean to say that you’ve been avoiding me because you like me?” Taehyun’s voice having a hint of pain behind the tone, but you tried not to pay any mind to it. You let out another sigh, nodding at what he said.
“Look, if you came here just to interrogate me, then please leave. I already told you I don’t want to talk about it right now, so can we please just drop it and forget what happened?” “No. I want to talk about it, whether you like it or not. I’ve constantly let you go when you don’t want to talk about something, but I don’t care this time, you’re going to talk to me about it one way or another, Y/N.”
For some reason, you were split in deciding. Part of you wanted to just spill everything and just tell him, but the other part of you wanted to hold onto your pride and have him leave.
“Taehyun, I’m not in the mood to-“ you were cut off by him once more, “I don’t care. Do you know the amount of times I knew something was bothering you but didn’t say anything? Do you know how many times you hurt me because you kept wanting to push me away? Do you have any idea how much that hurts?”
The pain in his voice was becoming more evident. Taehyun now stood in front of you, his eyes shifting to study your facial features before landing on your eyes, “Why can’t you just talk to me? You’re making this harder than it needs to be, Y/N. Haven’t you always talked to me about your problems before? What about now? I need to understand where you’re coming from.”
“Understand? What more is there to understand? You heard me loud and clear and I know you did. Yeah I like you,but so what? You’re busy running off with your new friends and Soo Ah. It’s enough to tell me that you obviously don’t feel the same. Don’t you get it? I avoided you because I knew it was one sided and I honestly didn’t want to bother going through the pain of rejection.”
You noticed the corners of Taehyun’s lips were tugged into a small smirk, “Who said I would reject you?” Your head shot up at this, surprised but also confused. “What do you mean?” your brows furrowed, making eye contact with him. He only stepped closer, your faces only being inches apart, leaning down a bit so he was at eye level with you,
“Why would I reject you when I like you too?”
Instantly, your face had flushed, taken aback by his confidence, “wait, you do?” Taehyun nodded, breaking out into a grin, “Duh, I’m surprised you didn’t catch on ages ago, I was so obvious. That’s why I thought you pushed me away, cause you found out and didn’t know how to say no.”
You automatically felt a smile forming on your face as you threw yourself onto him, wrapping your arms around his neck and burying your face in his chest. He giggled at this, picking you up and swinging you around, causing you to start giggling too.
Taehyun set you back down, pulling away from the hug to look at your face, “So then uh..will you be my (girl/boy)friend?” Smiling even harder, you nodded your head almost aggressively, “duh!” He picked you up a second time, spinning you both in a circle before you two crashed onto your bed, big, bright, and stupid grins plastered on your faces.
Suddenly you froze, sitting up to face Taehyun, causing him to do the same, “Hold on, you said you’re surprised I didn’t catch on ages ago. So then how long have you liked me?” You were a bit shocked that it didn't hit you earlier, Taehyun scooted closer to you, leaning against your headboard, shrugging casually saying, “about three years ago?” You whipped your head around to face him, “Are you KIDDING ME? I could’ve been dating you THREE YEARS AGO?”
Taehyun immediately started laughing at your reaction, while you were still gawking at the fact he’s liked you for as long as you liked him. Your hand extended towards his side, poking him, “What? What’s so funny?” you pouted at him. He reached out to pull you close to him, your faces so close you could feel his breath against your skin. His eyes went back and forth between your eyes and your lips, your eyes doing the same, glancing at his eyes and then his lips.
“Can I kiss you?”
Your cheeks immediately turned bright red, but nonetheless, you slowly nodded only for his hand to slide up to the nape of your neck, pulling you in for a kiss. Both of your lips moved in sync, working against each other’s until he pulled away to catch his breath. Now he was turning bright red, smiling at you, only for you to grab his collar and pull him back in for another kiss.
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sweet girl ; ayakashi ⇁ kun [two]
⇁ word count: 11.0k
⇁ warnings: violence, cursing, super super brief barely-there alcohol mention
⇁ extra info: heavily based off yet another otome game, ayakashi: romance reborn ; bc of this, all the lore used in here is inspired by/based on/taken from the lore of the game, not the actual lore of traditional ayakashi/yokai stories
⇁ DISCLAIMER: some aspects of plot and character traits are directly lifted from the otome game ayakashi: romance reborn and utilized in the character equivalents in this story; the base lore, plot, and characters were heavily inspired by the game, but it has all been transformed into my own story. there are no spoilers for the game by reading this series
⇁ [prologue]* ; [prev.] ; [next]
*you need to read the prologue before reading any of the individual routes so you know wtf is going on
You woke up later the next morning than you usually would. Rolling over, you planted your hands on your mattress and pushed yourself into half a sitting position. At the foot of your bed was Taeyong, curled up in his cat form. You wanted to leave without waking him, but as soon as you shifted to swing your legs over the edge of the bed, he shot up, bright blue eyes watching you, unblinking.
“Morning, Yonggie,” you smiled fondly at him. Grabbing your phone from your nightstand, you winced when you saw the time. You’d have to grab something to eat on the way to class, “Or, almost afternoon. I gotta get dressed, you mind?”
He leapt off your bed in response, turning into his human form to open and close the door for himself. You also had a couple texts, which you wanted to reply to as soon as possible.
The first ones that you decided to deal with was the one in the group chat with your other Ayakashi friends.
[sicheng: I close the shop at 5, is everybody available then to meet at Lenticular Café?]
[yuta: i can do that]
[renjun: the old man and i live there, its kind of hard not to be there]
[johnny: he means yes, that works]
[jeno: sure, whatever]
[yukhei: I will be in attendance and will relay the information to my brother]
[johnny: she’s probably still asleep, which is good]
Those were all from a few hours ago, so you sent your own reply.
[you: taeyong and i will be there!]
[sicheng: How are you feeling, Y/N?]
[you: fine, and you guys were right, i just woke up]
[you: and have a class soon, so i’ve got to go! i’ll see you all at five!]
Exiting out of that conversation, you clicked on one that interested you much, much more.
[kun: I know (or at least am hoping) that you’re not awake right now. I just want to let you know once again, that I had a wonderful time last night and I hope I can see you again soon.]
The text was from six in the morning, so he was right to assume that you weren’t awake. He must have texted you between waking up and going to work. Butterflies fluttered in your stomach as you thought that maybe you had been the first thing he thought of when he woke up.
[you: i had a great time too, and yes, we should definitely see each other again soon]
Humming to yourself as you got dressed, you couldn’t wipe the happy grin from your lips as you grabbed your schoolbag.
“You’re in a good mood,” Taeyong commented, watching from his perch on the arm of the chair. In his true form.
Right as you turned to respond, he lost his balance and dropped right off the furniture onto the floor. You winced, trying to hold back your giggles as you helped him up, “Maybe you should save that spot for when you’re in your cat form, bub.”
He grumbled, instead standing up and tilting his head at you. With suspiciously narrowed eyes, he once again stated, “You’re in a good mood.”
“Is it a crime for me to be in a good mood, Taeyong?” You scoffed, swinging your bag onto your shoulder. Your heartrate spiked when you felt a buzz in your pocket, and now you really wanted to get out of this conversation: it may be Kun texting you back.
He shook his head, offering you a small smile, “No, of course not. You’re just not usually this bright when you wake up.”
“Well, I had a very good night last night.”
“So you’re going to see him again?”
“Yeah, I am,” you nodded definitively, checking the time once more. “I’ve got to get going, Yonggie! Sicheng wants to meet up with everybody tonight, so I’ll be back after my class to hang with you, then we’ll head over, okay?”
The Nekomata nodded, “Okay.”
“Bye, bub!” You said cheerily, giving him a short head pat before taking off for your class.
As soon as you were in the hallway, you brought your phone back out to check your messages. It was Kun texting you back.
[kun: Did you just wake up?]
[kun: If you did, you deserve it after last night, Y/N]
[kun: So how soon would you like?]
[you: texting me in the middle of the workday? not very good behavior to model as the ceo]
[kun: Check the business card again]
[you: how do you know i still have it?]
[kun: A hunch]
And so you peeled back your phone case and fished the business card you’d been given the first time you’d met him out of it. Skimming over Doyoung’s job title, you realized your mistake.
[you: my bad, not very good behavior to model as the vice president]
[kun: I’m on my lunch break. Speaking of, I just started it, would you like to join me?]
God, you were so tempted to. But you had a test in your class today, something you couldn’t miss unfortunately.
[you: i’d love to, but i’ve got a test at one. another day?]
[kun: I understand, another day. And good luck on your test]
[you: thanks. so how’s your day going?]
You continued text Kun all through your short subway ride. As you emerged from the tunnel, you spotted the food truck that usually parked at a corner of your campus. You double-checked that you had enough time before jogging over and ordering yourself some lunch. Procrastinating outside your lecture as long as you could, you quickly ate your food between texting Kun.
Unfortunately, you saw that you only had a couple minutes to get into your seat and get your test materials out and ready.
[you: i’ve got to go now, kun. i have something at five, can i call you after that?]
[kun: I’d love it if you would]
Well aware that you surely had a dumb grin on your face, you replied.
[you: then i will]
After handing your test in, you left the science building as if you’d just escaped prison, breathing in the fresh air. It’s not that you didn’t like your Chem class, you just hated test days. You saw a familiar figure at the bottom of the steps, standing in front of someone sitting on the second to last one. The boy standing up looked up right as the door had been thrown open and gave you a friendly wave.
“Hey, Y/N!” Mark smiled up at you, causing the man sitting in front of him to whip around and look at you too.
“Hey, Mark,” you returned to smile, slowing down to chat.
“Y/N, this is my roommate, Ten,” he gestured to the man, who regarded you with interest. “Ten, this is Y/N, we sit together in Lit.”
“Nice to meet you,” Ten nodded in acknowledgement to you before reaching into the paper bag at his feet. Crumpled up on his other side was what looked like a white lab coat.
“You do research here, Ten?” You questioned, referencing the coat.
He continued unwrapping the sandwich he’d pulled out of the bag as he answered, “Oh, yeah, entomology department.”
“So you had that date last night, right?” Mark asked you. “How’d it go?”
“Oh, I forgot I told you about that,” you admitted, feeling heat rise to your cheeks as giddiness returned to your demeanor. “It went really well.”
“Nice, I’m glad.”
“So you got laid?” Ten snorted before biting off a mouthful of the sandwich.
You snapped your gaze down to look at him incredulously, “What the—”
Mark interjected before you could fully curse his roommate out, “Ten, dude, come on, just because you only think a date went well if you get laid doesn’t mean that’s everybody’s standard.”
“I don’t think that’s the only way for a date to go well,” he argued, leaning back on his elbows to look up at you. “People have that kind of energy coming off them when they get laid.”
You rolled your eyes, “For your information, man that I’ve known for all of thirty seconds, no, I didn’t get laid.”
“Oh, then that must be your Onmyoji powers I’m sensing.”
This time he had fully rendered you speechless. How did he know, unless—
“You’ve got no tact, Ten,” Mark groaned with a shake of his head.
“I do when I want to. And I didn’t want to now. The look on her face was priceless.”
“You’re Ayakashi,” you breathed out, easily accepting this. After all, why wouldn’t every single person you know be Ayakashi?
Your classmate addressed you calmly, “Ten is, yeah. I’m an Onmyoji like you. You can’t sense that?”
“No, not yet. I just got my powers last night, so I haven’t really been able to do much with them.”
“If I remember correctly, you had already set a string of small fires by now when you’d gotten yours, Mark,” Ten snickered. “Fires that I had to put out.”
“You don’t need to remind me of that, I almost got a criminal record out of it,” Mark sighed. “And I didn’t, Y/N, uh mostly because they couldn’t figure out how I lit them, so it was hard to pin anything on me. It was also an accident, by the way.”
Remembering that you were still missing one of your five Ayakashi, you took a gamble, “Do you have your bond mark, Ten?”
“Yep,” he popped the ‘p’ before turning around and pulling down the back of his hoodie to show off the small lion across the back of his neck. “And you’re fresh out of luck, baby Onmyoji. I’m not one of yours.”
“Oh, okay. I figured I might as well ask.”
“Yeah, I got stuck with this dude as my all-powerful overlord and master instead.”
Mark’s ears and neck turned red at the way his friend addressed him, “You really don’t need to call me that, Ten.”
“I know, it’s fun to watch you squirm,” Ten declared, then stuffed the rest of his sandwich in his mouth before leaping onto his feet.
“Your break over?” The other Onmyoji asked him.
He nodded, swallowing the food in his mouth, “Mhm, time to go experiment on my lesser brethren. I’m sure I’ll see you around, baby Onmyoji.”
“See you,” you said to Ten, watching him retreat back into the building.
Turning to Mark, you pieced together what the Ayakashi had just said, “So… he’s an entomologist, and an Ayakashi, and said he’s experimenting on his lesser brethren? Is he some kind of bug Ayakashi, then? Do those exist?”
Your classmate nodded, “Yeah, he’s a Jorogumo, a spider Ayakashi.”
“He doesn’t feel weird about experimenting on spiders and being a spider?”
“I guess not, I’ve never really had the guts to ask him,” Mark shrugged, then jerked his head away from the science building. “You want get a late lunch? I haven’t eaten yet.”
“I ate right before my class, sorry. Sometime next week? We can chat about Onmyoji stuff. If that’s cool with you, of course.”
“Of course, but let’s do that in more private places in the future.”
“Oh, right,” you agreed sheepishly. Looking around, you figured that the only reason the three of you had been able to talk about it so openly then was that because it was a Friday afternoon, your campus was practically a ghost town, with very few classes happening on Fridays.
Mark then squatted down, and you noticed that Ten had forgotten his lab coat on the steps, “I’m going to go bring this to him. See you Monday, Y/N.”
“Alright, have a good weekend, Mark!”
When you arrived at your apartment that afternoon, you frowned when you couldn’t see Taeyong anywhere.
“Yong?” You called out into your apartment. After receiving no response, you shrugged. Probably catnapping.
With excitement buzzing in your veins from your short chat with Mark and Ten, you opened up your group chat with your Ayakashi friends. You had to let them know you’d found another Onmyoji and Ayakashi. After all, Ten and Mark could help you all with the Wraith problem.
[you: guys! you’ll never believe what just happened!]
[yuta: what, y/n?]
[you: one of my classmates is an onmyoji too! and his roommate is an ayakashi]
[johnny: what? who?]
[you: mark is the onmyoji and his roommate ten is one of his true ayakashi, actually]
[you: they can help us with the wraiths, right?]
[jeno: oh shit she’s being stupid]
[sicheng: Y/N, you need to tell us everything you can about these two tonight.]
[you: do you want me to just invite them? i have mark’s number]
[renjun: correction, jeno: she IS stupid]
[sicheng: No. Don’t invite them.]
[sicheng: We’ll discuss this tonight.]
[yukhei: I won’t be relaying tonight’s meeting to my brother, he’s going to come himself]
You had a growing sense of dread in the pit of your stomach as this conversation continued on.
[you: why do i feel like a kid who knows they’re about to be lectured but doesn’t know what they did?]
[renjun: because you are]
[johnny: it’s not going to be a lecture, it’s a discussion among friends, renjun]
[johnny: seriously, it’s nothing to worry about, y/n, i promise]
[you: jungwoo is leaving the shrine… that kind of feels like it might be something to worry about]
[sicheng: You’re correct Y/N. Like Johnny said, don’t worry, but understand that this will be a rather serious conversation tonight. More-so than I had planned. I wish I could tell you now so you didn’t have to feel nervous until tonight, but I’m at work and it will be easier to discuss this in person. See you all tonight.]
[you: ok cool, gonna go have a real quick mental breakdown for the next two hours now, see you guys!]
[renjun: you’re fucking dramatic]
[you: you’re fucking rude]
[johnny: renjun, go back to work]
Turning your phone back off, you tossed it to the opposite end of the couch from you. You pulled your knees up to your chest, a thoughtful frown coming to your features. A movement in your periphery caught your attention, and you saw Taeyong padding into the room from the hallway in his cat form. Dropping your knees, you opened your arms for him, and he gladly leapt up into your embrace. He pushed his forehead against your neck, twisting around to get in the optimal petting position. Holding steadfast to your cat, you grabbed the TV remote.
You didn’t actually pay attention to the TV show playing in the background as you pet Taeyong and let yourself get lost in your thoughts about your friends’ reactions when you brought up Mark and Ten. But it was text, you can’t tell tone over text, after all, you could’ve easily misunderstood their meaning. You just had to accept that you wouldn’t really grasp what they were trying to say until tonight.
“We should leave, Y/N,” Taeyong spoke up, the first time you’d heard his voice since you’d arrived home that afternoon. Honestly, you kind of forgot that you had a Nekomata in your arms and not just your cat Tama.
“Oh, right,” you set him aside to let him turn into his human form.
“So what was on your mind?”
“What do you mean?”
“I’ve been your cat long enough to know a contemplative petting session.”
“Right. You’ll see when we get there,” you shoved your feet in your shoes. “Come on.”
You got onto Bell Street a little earlier than five and decided to pop into your parents’ shop. They took Fridays off early, so unless there were customers, you knew that it’d just be Sicheng inside. You’d told Taeyong to go on ahead to the café while you grabbed the Mizuchi dragon. The bell above the teal door rang, causing Sicheng to snap his head up from where he was doing his final tally of the cash register.
“Hey, Y/N,” he greeted you, returning to his task at hand.
“I’ll be there in just a minute. I’ve got to count this then I’m locking up for the day.”
“Can I see it?”
“The bond mark.”
“Oh, of course,” he paused his counting to turn, pulling down the collar of his shirt to reveal the whole lotus blossom. “I’m one of yours, Y/N.”
“That’s… awesome,” you breathed out, jaw dropped slightly as you scanned over the mark.
Sicheng had a bashful smile on his face as he released his shirt, turned back to face you, and continued his task at hand.
Memories of the last couple times you were in the shop came to mind, and you decided to ask, “So have you guys been able to find the first edition Don Quixote?”
“No, and as far as I’m concerned, I hope we never do,” Sicheng grumbled, beginning to put the money back. “The less ogres I have to deal with the better.”
He continued in a mumble as if he were mostly talking to himself than you, “Although I suppose he’d probably send his assistant to come pick it up, however, I don’t have much more respect for someone who works for Oni either.”
Sicheng came around the counter, ushering you towards the door. You left the shop, waiting for him as he locked it behind the two of you. Both you and Sicheng were quiet as you walked the short distance between Bibliophile Books and Lenticular Café.
At the café, the closed sign had been flipped around, and the only people inside were the two who lived there and Taeyong. Johnny stood to greet you, and you eagerly accepted his hug. Breaking away from him, you pointed to him and Renjun, “Let me see ‘em! Show me your bond marks!”
They looked to Sicheng for a moment, to which the Mizuchi dragon shrugged, “She made me show mine off too.”
With a chuckle, Johnny obliged, and Renjun begrudgingly did so as well. Excitement buzzed in your veins as you saw the matching symbols.
“Sorry if I’m being weird! This is just so cool!”
“Glad you think so, little lady.”
“You are fucking weird,” Renjun rolled his eyes.
Before you or Johnny could say something, the front door opened again, and Jeno came through. Already yawning, of course. He didn’t give out any greetings, instead immediately making a beeline for a booth. As he walked by you, your eyes noticed something on the back of his neck.
“Stop!” You ordered, grabbing his elbow.
He tried to turn to scowl at you, but you held onto his shoulder to keep him facing away from you, yanking his hoodie down.
“You’re one of my Ayakashi!” You exclaimed before spinning him around for the others to see.
“Yeah, didn’t I say that?” Jeno retorted, finally shaking you off to reach his intended destination, flopping onto the booth’s bench.
“No, you didn’t.”
“Oh, I must’ve fallen asleep before sending the message.”
The next time the door opened, it revealed two tall figures, one clasping tightly to the other’s arm. Yukhei didn’t seem to mind the iron grip Jungwoo had on him, face as blank as ever. Jungwoo offered you all smiles, not letting go of his brother until the two of them stopped close enough to you for him to be able to grab your arm before releasing Yukhei’s.
“Hello, Lady Onmyoji,” he hugged you gently. “Congratulations on gaining your powers.”
“Thank you,” you grinned back at him. “Could I see the bond mark, please?”
“Oh, so you’ll ask him, but you demand us to show you ours,” Renjun scoffed.
“She manhandled me!” Jeno called you out.
Sicheng tried to defend you, “She asked me as well.”
The Satori shook his head with a tsk, “Well we clearly know who her favorites are.”
“Did the little lady say ‘please,’ too?” Johnny joined in on teasing you, raising his eyebrow at the Mizuchi dragon.
“No, I wasn’t granted that high of esteem,” he replied, mirth glinting in his eyes.
Jungwoo still had his light smile on his lips as he shifted to allow you to see the back of his neck, keeping a gentle hold on one of your forearms. Indeed, there was a lotus blossom, just like yours, and like the others: Renjun, Johnny, Jeno, and Sicheng. So you really already had all five of your True Ayakashi.
“Okay, so now we’re just waiting for—”
Johnny was cut off by the door swinging open brazenly, the very man he’d just been about to name sauntering through. Yuta gave everybody a broad smile, “Hey! Sorry I’m late.”
“No you’re not,” you scoffed at your friend, to which he threw a dramatic hand over his chest.
“I’m hurt! I am agog and aghast that you could think me anything other than honest, Y/N!”
“Now who’s fucking dramatic, Renjun?” You raised a pointed eyebrow at the Satori.
Renjun relented with wide eyes, “Yeah, I take it back, Y/N.”
“Anyway, you’ve got your powers! Look at you, Onmyoji!” Yuta pulled you into a tight hug, one that caused Taeyong’s hackles to raise, as per usual.
Johnny cleared his throat, getting everyone’s attention, “Uh, now that everyone is here, we can start. Go ahead and sit somewhere.”
You determinedly stalked over to the booth Jeno was laying in and shoved his feet off.
“You could’ve asked,” he grumbled, sitting up fully as you scooted in beside him.
“Would you have moved?”
Once everyone settled into the booth, on the table of the booth, or pulled up chairs around it, they all looked to Johnny and Sicheng, who seemed to both be figuratively—and literally—at the head of the table.
Sicheng stood up to address everyone, “I called this meeting, so I’d like to thank you all for coming. Now, I’m going to address why I have requested you all be here. We’ve already established that the presence of Wraiths in our city has grown to a worrisome number, and their power has also been increasing heavily. Now that Y/N has her powers, I believe it would be ideal for us to run patrols around the city. The first rule of this would be to not engage first. End fights but don’t start them. Once Y/N can banish Wraiths, we would have her banish any troublesome ones. These patrols would mostly be just to keep an eye on things around here, monitor the situation and gather information.”
“Makes sense to me,” Johnny spoke up, and everyone agreed soon after.
“When and how often would these happen?” Yuta asked.
Sicheng replied, “In the evenings once everyone is done with work and classes for the day. And I’m thinking two or three times a week, nothing excessive.”
You could definitely work dates with Kun around a minor schedule like that, “I’m down.”
With everyone in agreement on doing the patrols, you found yourself thinking about how they wanted you to banish Wraiths. You were fairly sure you just had to say the same chant that Kun had, no problem. But those Wraiths were different than the ones from the café. You couldn’t get the image of their red, human eyes out of your mind.
“Sicheng, I have a question,” you spoke up, quieting the excited chatter around the table.
Your friend looked to you attentively, “Go ahead, I’m all ears.”
“So the Wraiths that were at the café the first time I’d ever seen them, they just looked like normal people. Someone said they… made their own human forms?”
“Yes. Usually they possess a human instead, but these Wraiths are particularly strong.”
“Do they look any different when they possess a human rather than making their own human forms?”
“The eyes are different, yes. They’re red when they’re possessed. Why are you asking?”
Not wanting to relay your date night battle right then, you shrugged, “I just want to be able to tell the difference, for patrolling, you know?”
Sicheng accepted this and continued on, “Now, we have something else to address.”
Oh, right, the thing that had filled you with dread for the past two hours.
Johnny took over, very calmly and very seriously requesting, “Y/N, tell us about the Onmyoji and Ayakashi you mentioned earlier.”
“Uh, well, the Onmyoji is one of my classmates, Mark Lee, and his roommate Ten is one of his True Ayakashi. He’s a… Jorogumo, I think. That’s the spider Ayakashi, right? And that’s really all I know. I just found out this afternoon, and the three of us only talked for a couple minutes after my class.”
The Ayakashi around you all exchanged uneasy glances at your statement—except Yuta, who was extremely interested in picking at his fingernails.
“Why? What’s going on, guys? Why couldn’t I invite them tonight? Having another Onmyoji would help, wouldn’t it?”
Sicheng looked over at the Tsukumo-gami, “Jungwoo, could you explain?”
“Yes,” he didn’t step forward, but sat up straighter in his chair. “Lady Onmyoji, the reason we are all uneasy about your finding of another of your kind is that it is not unheard of for old and powerful Wraiths to create human forms, but that is a rarity. For this many in one area to be able to do so… they have to be supplied with that power by someone. Which is a task that only Onmyoji can do, I am afraid. While we have no proof that this classmate of yours is behind the uptick in Wraiths and their powers, it is not a chance that we can afford to take. Because no matter one’s intentions, the power of Wraiths is inherently corrupting, and typically does not attract those of pure spirit.”
“Oh,” you felt like you’d just gotten the wind knocked out of you.
Sure, you and Mark weren’t best friends, but you couldn’t imagine the boy doing such a thing. While you didn’t wholeheartedly believe that Mark was behind this, you understood why you couldn’t risk involving him and Ten. But you weren’t going to assume the worst about him either. You wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt, get at the root of this. Obviously not right then, however.
“Sorry, Y/N,” Taeyong murmured, pushing his head against your shoulder to comfort you.
“Uh, thanks,” you blinked, shaking your head a couple of times to clear your mind. “I’m fine. Surprised, uh, but again, he’s just my classmate, I don’t know him very well.”
Sicheng nodded in understanding, “That’s good. I recommend keeping your distance for the time being. From him and the Jorogumo.”
You didn’t want to admit that you sat next to him in your class, and promised to get lunch together next week, so you didn’t. There was so much for you to think about, and everyone there seemed to have already determined his guilt in the matter so you didn’t feel like you could openly share your doubts in that moment. So you didn’t.
The rest of the meeting was spent ironing out the details for patrols. You’d occasionally give your two cents on decisions, but you still weren’t fully invested in the conversation. Too many thoughts bouncing in your head that you couldn’t talk about with them. But you knew exactly who you wanted to talk about them with.
So when the meeting was final declared over, and Johnny offered for everybody to stay for dinner, you politely declined.
“Thanks, Johnny, but I’m still really drained from my powers awakening last night,” you fibbed, moving to stand up. “Uh, Taeyong, you’re more than welcome to stay and eat, okay?”
“If you’re going home, I’ll come,” Taeyong frowned. “I don’t want you walking alone at night, that’s not safe.”
“Taeyong, it’s barely after sundown.”
Sicheng thankfully seemed to pick up on what you were trying to do, “I need to head out too, so I’ll walk her home, Taeyong.”
The Nekomata visibly relaxed at this, but still gave you a worried ear flick as he said goodbye to you. Giving your other friends your goodbyes, you then left the café with Sicheng.
“Thanks, Sicheng,” you breathed out once you were further down Bell Street. “You don’t have to walk me home, by the way.”
“Of course, Y/N,” he replied, hands tucked into his jacket pockets. “I’ll walk with you at least some of the way, though, I have something to ask you.”
“How exactly did you get your powers? I know you got them last night, but you haven’t really told us how.”
After Sicheng’s earlier ramblings about Kun and Oni ogres, as well as Kun’s deep apologies for activating your powers for you, and his spiel about how sacred something like that is, you had a feeling that telling Sicheng the true story wouldn’t be a good idea. You weren’t thrilled to lie about this again, but you had too much happening in your head to deal with that right now. So you told him the same thing you told Taeyong.
“I was on a date last night. A few Wraiths tried to pick a fight and my powers just happened, then the Wraiths were gone.”
“And your date? I’m assuming they were a human, since your powers awakened.”
“Thankfully he was in the bathroom.”
“Good timing on the Wraiths’ part.”
“Is that why you asked if possessed humans and Wraiths who made their own human forms looked any different?”
“Mhm, the ones last night looked like people with glowing red eyes. The ones at the café just looked like people. I figured there might be a difference.”
“It’s a good thing the first time you had to deal with Wraiths on your own was possession; they’re weaker that way.”
“So I’ve heard.”
Sicheng looked at you curiously, “From who?”
You realized your mistake too late, “Uh, I think someone’s mentioned it before, I don’t remember now. Maybe I haven’t heard, I don’t know, I’m tired!”
“Right. Get some sleep, Y/N. I’ll see you Monday for our first patrol.”
“Monday,” you confirmed.
“Bye, Sicheng,” you said farewell to your friend before parting ways, heading off on your own.
Immediately as soon as you knew he was out of earshot, you whipped out your phone and called Kun, just like you’d planned. On the second ring, he picked up.
“Hey, Y/N,” he answered smoothly, and already you could feel a weight being lifted off your shoulders by his voice.
“Hey, Kun,” you tried to force brightness into your voice, but you knew you’d failed.
“What’s happening? You sound… like you’re thinking about a lot of things.”
“I am,” you groaned, thankful that you could just be honest with him.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
Looking down at your attire—which was your ‘this is my only class of the day and I don’t give a single shit’ outfit—you set a parameter, “Nothing fancy, please. I’m dressed like trash.”
“I just started cooking myself dinner and planned on leftovers anyway, so there should be more than enough for the both of us. At my place. That casual enough for you?”
“You live in some rich playboy penthouse, so it’s still a bit fancy for me,” you retorted, but couldn’t turn down the invite. You really just needed to see him, “Send me your address, I’m on my way.”
“Are you walking?”
“I also have a subway card if required.”
“I can send Doyoung to come pick you up.”
“He gives me the heebie-jeebies, Kun,” you deadpanned, earning a light chuckle from the man over the phone. “I’d rather walk.”
“Very well, it should mostly be done by the time you get here.”
“Awesome. I’ll see you then.”
“I look forward to it.”
With that, you hung up, and almost immediately got a text with Kun’s address.
Surprisingly, it was only a ten-minute subway ride from the closest station, then another five-minute walk. Considering you were passed out the last time you’d gone to Kun’s place—which was only yesterday you were now realizing—you had no way to really know if you were in the right place until you entered the lobby of the building. This you remembered from when you left his place: the elegant marble floors and impressive gold hardware. The furniture was all finely made with velvet upholstery, and you had just enough wits about you to feel ashamed for looking like you did while standing there.
Refusing to make eye contact with the person at the front desk, you walked over to the elevator and pressed the ‘up’ button. When the doors slid open to allow you in, you pressed the one for the very top floor, nervously shifting your weight between your legs when the elevator started going up. It took some time to reach the top floor, the penthouse, the entire floor that Kun had to himself. The elevator deposited you in a short hallway that ended in a single door, which you knocked on.
Just a moment later, the door was swung open, Kun on the other side. He was dressed in a simple pair of dress slacks and button-up shirt, which had the top two buttons undone and sleeves rolled up to his elbows. A dish towel was slung over his shoulder as well. This man was too attractive for your own good.
He stepped back from the door to let you in, “Hey, you got here in one piece.”
“I feel like I didn’t, but yeah,” you let out a deep sigh, shuffling inside.
“Come on, food’s almost ready,” Kun took you by the hand to lead you into the kitchen.
Once there, he had to let your hand go to finish chopping up a few vegetables then toss them into the pan on the stove. Whatever was in there smelled delicious, and your stomach growled. You leaned against the counter by the stove to watch him cook, rolling your neck to work out a kink that had formed there. Kun looked up from where he had been stirring the contents of the pan, eyes softening as they scanned your surely disgruntled face.
“You’ve definitely been thinking hard about a lot of things,” he declared, setting his spoon aside.
“How do you know?”
“Because,” he brought his hands up towards your face, his thumbs landing on the space between your brows. He gently rubbed at the crease you had there, forcing you to relax your features, “I can see that you’re carrying all those big thoughts right here.”
“It’s a long story,” you warned him, letting your eyes flutter closed as you enjoyed the soothing motions of his fingers along your forehead.
“I don’t mind.”
“Mm,” you acknowledged his statement with a hum, trying to piece your thoughts together into something coherent to tell Kun. “So now that I have my powers, Sicheng suggested that we all do some patrols. We being me, Taeyong, Jeno, Yuta, Johnny, Renjun, Sicheng, Jungwoo, and Yukhei. Jungwoo and Yukhei weren’t there the night you and Doyoung picked us up from the café, by the way.”
“I do know them, though. The Tsukumo-gami brothers. Jungwoo’s a… flute, and Yukhei’s a drum.”
Your eyes opened just the tiniest bit to look at him as you questioned, “How do you know them?”
“Most older Ayakashi in one area will know each other. Or at least of each other.”
“How old are you guys?”
“Jungwoo and Yukhei are older than me by a tenfold at least, but it still applies. They’re both well over a thousand years old. So comparatively, I’m a very spritely 196.”
This time your eyes fully snapped open at this information, “Seriously?”
“Seriously,” he confirmed. “You should ask your friends how old they are sometime, I think most of their answers would surprise you.”
“Right,” you closed your eyes once more as he resumed his ministrations. “So Sicheng suggested that we all do some patrols together. They’re going to be two or three times a week, at night after everyone’s off work and out of class. Just you know… patrolling around the city and seeing what the Wraiths are up to. That’s not really my problem, though, I’m fine with the patrols.”
“So what’s bothering you?”
“After my class today, I ran into one of my classmates and his roommate. And it turns out my classmate is an Onmyoji too, and his roommate is one of his True Ayakashi. I brought this up at the little meeting tonight, thinking that they could help us, you know? But they all like freaked out when I mentioned Mark being an Onmyoji.”
Kun’s thumbs stopped for a split-second, but as soon as you opened one eye to look at him questioningly, he continued again.
“Why is that?”
“They think the Wraiths are becoming as powerful as they are because an Onmyoji is providing the power. And they think the Onmyoji is Mark.”
“I just don’t know how they can think he’s doing this without meeting him! Just because he’s an Onmyoji doesn’t mean he’s doing this, there could be another Onmyoji here doing it. Right?”
“Could be, yeah,” he agreed.
“And I don’t know Mark very well, but we’ve gotten lunch at the dining hall a couple times, and sit together in class, and I already told him that we could get lunch next week, I’d have to explain why I’m cancelling on him.”
“So you’re going to get lunch with him.”
You opened one of your eyes, sly smirk on your face, “Jealous, Kun?”
He laughed lightly, taking his thumbs off your forehead to instead tap the tip of your nose, “I don’t know, you’re in my penthouse right now and not his.”
“I highly doubt that Mark has a penthouse. Him and Ten probably live in some tiny apartment like mine,” you snorted, following his movements with your eyes as he returned to the stove to stir it once more. “But I mean, I sit next to him in class, so I’ll see him then. And yeah, I’m still going to get lunch with him. I want to give him the benefit of the doubt. Is that so bad?”
“No, Y/N,” Kun set the spoon down to face you again, resting a hand tenderly on your cheek. “It’s not. That’s great of you.”
You brought a hand up to hold his steadfast against you, “Thanks, Kun.”
He leaned in, and you closed your eyes in anticipation of a kiss. You weren’t exactly wrong, but he pecked your forehead instead. When he pulled back and pretended to focus on the pan again, you narrowed your eyes at him, earning a snicker from him.
“Alright, alright,” he gave in, grabbing your chin and bringing your mouths together.
You melted into the kiss, moving your lips rhythmically against his. Honestly, you felt like you could kissed Qian Kun forever, you were utterly bewitched, and you loved it. He moved his hand from your chin to your hip to draw you in even closer, and you took the opportunity to loop your arms around his neck, effortlessly deepening the kiss.
Kun hummed against your lips, which only enticed you to kiss him even harder, eager for his approval. He pulled back slightly, planting one, two more soft, slow kisses on your lips before retreating, murmuring, “Food’s done.”
“Not hungry,” you locked your lips with his once more, and he gave in for just a moment before your stomach betrayed you, rumbling loudly. He disconnected your mouths with a chuckle.
“I think your stomach would care to say otherwise.”
With that, he broke away from you, turning the stove off and pulling the pan away from the hot burner.
“Traitor,” you growled at your stomach as Kun grabbed two plates from the cabinet.
“What do you want to drink? I’ve got water, sparkling water, flavored sparkling water, wine, whiskey.”
“Water’s just fine. Uh, normal water, by the way.”
Kun set the two glasses down catty-corner to each other at the table, where two sets of utensils and napkins had been placed, then returned to the stove to plate the food. You sat at one of the seats, reaching out for your glass of water as you watched him expertly dish dinner out, then take the hand towel off his shoulder and drape it over the handle of the oven. He set the plates down as well, then joined you at the table.
“Thank you,” you said quietly, tapping your nail against the outside of the glass in your hand.
“Thank you for coming over,” Kun retaliated, picking up his own glass and tilting it towards you.
You took the hint, gently clinking your glasses together, the sound of it light in the air.
Your eyes spotted a long scar across his forearm, barely there, and you set your drink down to tap it with interest, “What’s this? A cooking accident? Knife got a little out of hand?”
Kun looked down at his forearm too, then chuckled, “Oh, I don’t know, maybe. I’m one hundred and ninety-six, I’ve got more scars than I can count, and I can barely remember where most of them came from, honestly.”
After taking a sip of your drink, you picked up your fork and dug in. The meal that Kun had prepared was incredible, the flavors dancing across your tongue eloquently. Not to mention that the sight in front of you was even more delicious.
At that thought, you picked your water back up and chugged about half of it. You needed to stop. After all, you had an apartment to unlock for your Nekomata, who had no key of his own. You should’ve probably gotten him a key by now. Shit.
“Sorry, give me a second,” you apologized to Kun as you brought your phone out.
Clicking on Johnny’s contact, you texted him.
[you: is taeyong still at the café?]
The Domeki was quick to reply.
[johnny: yeah, do you need to talk to him?]
[you: no, can you just let me know when he leaves?]
[johnny: uh, he probably shouldn’t]
[johnny: yuta thought he needed to lighten up. some alcohol was consumed. turns out taeyong is a lightweight]
Just imagining a drunk Taeyong was rather entertaining to you, so you couldn’t even be mad at the others for getting him drunk. With a resigned smile tugging at your features, you responded.
[you: keep him for the night, please]
[johnny: i will. you want me to drop him off tomorrow or will you come pick him up?]
[you: i’ll pick him up whenever. don’t let him get into any trouble, please]
[johnny: i won’t, have a good night!]
[you: night, johnny. and tell him goodnight from me too, if he’s not passed out by the time you guys are done with him]
[johnny: will do!]
Now with that problem off your mind, you turned your phone back off and tucked it away.
“Sorry about that, I had suddenly remembered something that I had to take care of.”
“It’s fine,” Kun reassured you. “Is everything okay?”
“Oh, yeah, I just had left Taeyong at the café with the other guys, so I wanted to see how he was doing.”
“And how is he doing?”
“He’s drunk for what I’m guessing is the first time in his life.”
He very coolly asked, “Do you have to go get him?”
“Not tonight,” you informed him coyly. “Johnny’s letting him spend the night.”
“How nice of Johnny.”
“I know,” you took a much smaller sip of your water this time. Your plates were both empty, you had no obligations to be home tonight. Admittedly, you weren’t exactly wearing something that oozed sex appeal, but the man in front of you definitely was. Here goes nothing. “What about you, Kun? Are you nice?”
His eyes narrowed in just the slightest, eyebrow raised as he seemed to be trying to figure out if you really were insinuating that. The corner of his mouth curled in the most enticing way as he leaned forward to declare, “For you? Absolutely.”
Waking up in possibly the most comfortable bed you’ve ever been in—silk sheets, memory foam, and all—you let out a yawn, stretching pleasantly before rolling over into another warm body. Kun sleepily lifted his arm to let you fully snuggle into his bare chest, draping it back over you to hold you close.
You were pretty sure you fell back asleep and woke up a couple more times before you were truly awake. Wiggling out of Kun’s grip, you sat up against the pillows, blinking as you slowly woke up more and more.
Kun’s eyes opened, and he propped himself up on his elbows to look over at you endearingly, “Good morning.”
“Good morning,” you echoed with a satisfied smile.
“How’d you sleep?” He asked, voice gravelly and deep with sleep.
“Great. Your bed is so comfy.”
“You’re welcome to it anytime.”
You couldn’t help but smirk, “Good to know.”
“Of course,” Kun smiled, grabbing your hand to drop a kiss on your knuckles.
With him laid on his stomach, and the sheets falling to his lower back, your eyes were caught on a couple marks on his back. Old scars, thin lines that you wouldn’t have noticed if you hadn’t been so intently appreciating the man in front of you.
“What are these, Kun?” You questioned, delicately running your fingertip over one.
“Oh, almost forgot about those,” he turned on his side, hiding them back away from you. “Old injury. I’m 196—”
“You’ve got plenty of scars, and you can’t remember where most of them came from,” you finished, paraphrasing his reasoning from last night when you’d asked him about his forearm scar.
From that previous angle you had also clearly seen his bond mark, three simple pine trees, and noticed that instead of the bold, black lines of your own lotus blossom, they were a faint grey. Maybe different bond marks were all different colors depending on the Onmyoji who had them?
You frowned, about to question him about it when he slowly sat up, making his way up your arm with a trail of gentle kisses. When he got to your shoulder, you tilted your head to give him access to your neck, fluttering your eyes shut as he took full advantage of this. He’d just reached your jawline when he innocently offered, “Breakfast?”
His breath ghosted over the spot on your skin left wet from his lips laving it over in the moment prior, making a shiver go down your spine. You turned your head to properly kiss him, connecting your mouths hastily. Kun had no qualms with your lack of a reply, large hands immediately gripping at your sides to pull you onto his lap, a much better angle.
When you finally needed air, you pulled back just slightly, both your breathing heavy and intermingling in the very little space between you.
“Sure,” you replied just as innocently, hopping off his lap with the previous topic of conversation completely kissed from your mind.
Kun groaned as he shook his head, clearing his mind to think properly again, “Alright, I deserved that.”
You simply gave him a mirthful grin in response as you gracefully stepped out of the bed. Picking up a dark grey button-up you recognized as the one Kun had been wearing last night, and you slipped your arms through it. As you stood up, you haphazardly buttoned a few of the buttons, not quite caring if that right ones went into the right holes.
When you looked up, you saw that Kun had found himself a pair of sweatpants, and he was watching you with an amused smile, but also a certain darkness in his eyes.
“Looks good on you.”
“Thanks,” you walked over to him. “I’ve always wanted to wake up next to a handsome man and take his button-up shirt to wear while I watch him make me breakfast.”
“Good thing I’ve always wanted to wake up next to a beautiful girl and have her wear my button-up shirt while she watches me make her breakfast.”
“Glad we’re on the same page here.”
Following him out the kitchen, you saw your hastily discarded dishes from last night still in the sink. As Kun searched through the fridge for something, you stood in front of the sink and started washing the dishes without a second thought.
“Oh, Y/N, you don’t have to do that,” Kun’s head was back out of the freezer, voice calling out to you disapprovingly.
“Because you have maids or something that do this?” You teased him back. “I don’t mind, really. It’s my way of saying thanks. You cook, I clean. So just say ‘thank you’ and make me breakfast”
He kissed your temple as he made his way by you with ingredients, “Thank you.”
Cleaning the dishes didn’t take long, and after fumbling with the door mechanism of his washing machine for an awkward amount of time, you stuck them in the dishwasher as well. Now with nothing to busy yourself with, you decided to fulfill the rest of your dream: watching the handsome man you woke up next to make you breakfast while you wore his button-up shirt. Hopping up on the countertop beside the bowl of batter he had, you observed him scoop out and deposit the pancake batter onto the skillet.
“Mmm, pancakes,” you swung your legs as you peacefully watched him.
“So you approve?”
A familiar buzz caught the attention of your ears. Your phone.
“Wasn’t mine,” Kun informed you. At your blank look, he explained, “Mine’s on silent.”
“Is that wise for some super important businessman?”
“You were coming over,” he shrugged, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world that he’d do that for you.
Completely caught off-guard by the genuine sweetness of his statement, you could only squeeze his forearm appreciatively before hopping off the counter. You searched around the kitchen and living room for wherever you had left your phone. Honestly one of the last things on your mind the previous night was your phone, so you had no clue where it was.
Finally, as you had dug and stuffed your hand in between the couch cushions sometime later, you’d found it.
“Gotcha!” You breathed out in victory, plopping down to turn the screen on. Seeing the percentage from not being charged, you winced. Probably just enough to get you through the morning, you’d definitely have to charge it by the time the afternoon came around.
The buzz was a text from Johnny.
[johnny: taeyong’s up. i’ll feed him breakfast and give him the seo family secret hangover cure. come get him whenever you’re ready]
[you: thanks, i’ll be by in about an hour or so]
[johnny: sounds good]
When you looked back to the kitchen, you were pleasantly surprised to see Kun already setting two plates of pancakes at the breakfast bar. You eagerly stood up and sat at one of the stools, waiting patiently for him to finish up at the stove. He turned it off and set the pan aside, once again grabbing two glasses.
“What do you want to drink?” Kun asked over his shoulder as he went to open the fridge.
He nodded, grabbing himself a jug of apple juice.
“You didn’t tell me you had apple juice last night!” You said accusatorily.
“Most people don’t have apple juice as an evening drink, I didn’t think to offer it,” he defended himself.
“Most people don’t categorize drinks by what time they typically have them either.”
“Do you want apple juice, Y/N?”
With a fond shake of his head, Kun poured the apple juice into both glasses then set them down by the plates. When he finally joined you, sliding onto the stool beside you, you picked up your fork and dug in.
Remembering the text conversation you just had, you took a sip of your apple juice to wash down the food in your throat then said, “After this I’ve got to get going to pick up Taeyong.”
“I understand,” Kun nodded. “Do you want me to drop you off?”
A lull fell in the conversation as you both ate, and your brain took this opportunity to wander off, most of your thoughts about the man in front of you. It really had just been a couple days since your first date, but you were so inexplicably infatuated with him for some reason. Speaking of your first date, you thought about his horns that you’d seen that night. They were rather interesting, all of your Ayakashi friends’ distinct features were.
“You know, you can have them out around me if you want,” you blurted out nonchalantly.
Kun tilted his head, swallowing the bite he’d just taken before asking, “What?”
“Oh, sorry, I forgot that I wasn’t saying all that aloud,” you said before going to elaborate. “I was thinking about your horns. You can have them out around me if you want, if that’s more comfortable for you. I really don’t mind. The others usually have some Ayakashi features out if it’s just us. Taeyong always has at least his ears out at home, Renjun’s eyes are usually their true colors, Jeno’s wings are always out, stuff like that, you know. Either in their true form or closer to it than their human forms. So if you want, I don’t mind the horns.”
“Thanks, Y/N,” he smiled, reaching out to take hold of your hand and squeeze it affectionately. “But one form isn’t more comfortable for me than another. I don’t really have a preference. I’ll keep that in mind, though.”
“Of course,” you smiled back. “Just thought I’d let you know.”
Kun rubbed his thumb over your knuckles before changing the topic, “So you and Taeyong live together? How’d that happen?”
“When I had just finished moving into my apartment, my very first place by myself, I figured it was finally time that I could get myself a pet. I went to the shelter and picked out this very cute white cat that I named Tama. Long story short, I had paid a hundred bucks worth of adoption fees for a Nekomata named Taeyong instead of a housecat named Tama.”
“He was seriously posing as a stray cat at the shelter?”
“Yeah, I guess. And I mean, once I found out what he was, I couldn’t really kick him out on the streets, so he still lives with me.”
“How old is he?”
“The shelter guessed about five,” you shrugged. “I haven’t asked him since I found out who he actually is, though. He doesn’t look that old, but I guess for Ayakashi that means nothing because you’re 196 and look like you’re in your 20’s.”
“Nekomatas have a similar lifespan to that of a human, actually,” Kun informed you, and you tucked that information away; not all Ayakashi have the same lifespans. “So he’s probably around the age he looks.”
“So, twelve, cool.”
The man snorted at your jest, “Seems about right.”
“Why were you asking?”
“Just curious. I’d like to meet him sometime, you know.”
“Okay, yeah. Of course,” a smile played across your lips at the dedication and investment he was already showing. “We can all get dinner together or something.”
“Good,” Kun squeezed your hand that was he was still holding before he leaned forward to peck your cheek.
Dressed back in your own clothes a short while later, you were sitting at the couch to pull your shoes back on. Kun came out of his bedroom in a simple t-shirt and jeans, which somehow took your breath away just as much as his suit the other night had.
“Ready to go?” Kun asked, coming to stand beside the couch.
“Yep,” you stood up, immediately reaching to lace your fingers with his. “How long of a drive from here to Lenticular?”
“Should only be about ten or fifteen minutes depending on traffic.”
Opening your phone, you gave Johnny a heads-up that you were coming.
[you: on my way, be there in ten or fifteen]
[johnny: see you soon!]
A little less than fifteen minutes later, and Kun’s car was parked in the only empty spot available near Lenticular. It was a couple storefronts down from the café, actually, but you kind of preferred it that way. No need to explain the mysterious car that dropped you off if nobody saw it.
You turned to him to say goodbye, “Thanks, Kun.”
“Of course, Y/N,” Kun smiled back at you. “Thanks for coming over last night.”
“Thanks for having me.”
“I’ll see you again soon?”
“Absolutely,” you confirmed, already looking forward to the next time you saw him.
“Good,” he leaned over the console, and you eagerly let him press his lips against yours. The kiss was short, but left you satiated long enough to finish your goodbyes for real.
Wrapping your hand around the handle, you opened the door, and climbed out of the car. Giving him a final wave, you set off down the sidewalks, listening for when the car left. It wasn’t until you had opened the door to Lenticular that you heard Kun pull out of his parking spot.
Inside the café, there was an elderly couple sharing brunch, and you were met by Renjun at the host’s stand.
“Upstairs,” Renjun spat at you as soon as you had approached him.
“Taeyong. He’s upstairs with the instrument brothers,” he informed you with no semblance of a greeting.
“Good morning to you too, Renjun,” you scoffed out of habit more-so than actual offense. “So Jungwoo and Yukhei stayed here too?”
“Yeah, Johnny decided to offer up our tiny fucking loft to them for the foreseeable future. You know, since Jungwoo is… you know.”
So they really were committing to the patrols, and Jungwoo to being one of your True Ayakashi.
“Oh, okay. Thanks, Renjun.”
Walking past him and the purple curtain dividing the dining area from the hallway, you decided to pop in and say hi to Johnny before heading upstairs. The door to the kitchen was open, and you stepped in, eyes immediately finding Johnny at the stove.
“Morning, Johnny!” You greeted him cheerfully.
Johnny turned around, bright grin on his face already, “Hey, morning, Y/N!”
“You don’t seem hungover at all,” you commented.
“I’m not. The only ones who really got shitfaced last night were Taeyong and Renjun.”
“That’s why he was extra prickly, huh?”
“Yeah, not only does he have a hangover, but he’s also pissed at me for making him work with one,” the Domeki said plainly, not seeming to sympathize much with his employee. “I told him last night, he can drink as much as he wants, but unless he’s dead the next day, he’s working. He agreed.”
“He did it to himself.”
“Exactly,” Johnny lowered the heat of the stove. “So how are you? Much more rested?”
“Yeah, I slept really well last night.”
“I’m sure you did.”
“Why’d you say it like that?”
“You gained your powers the night before and got some last night, Y/N. Of course you were able to sleep like a baby.”
You slapped your hand up to your neck. Then the other side of your neck. Then your jawline. You hadn’t looked in a mirror yet, so you didn’t know which of the love bites that Kun had left last night had actually manifested into proper hickeys this morning. All of them could have, for all you knew.
Johnny oh-so-helpfully pointed to halfway up the right side of his neck and his jawline, and you instinctually covered it with your hands.
“Hey, I’m happy for you, Y/N.”
With a roll of your eyes, you dropped your hands down and replied, “Thanks, Johnny.”
“So was it a one-night stand or are you actually dating them?”
“I’ve gone on a couple dates with him. We’re going to see each other again.”
“Nice,” your friend grinned broadly.
“So what was the Seo family secret hangover cure you gave Yong?”
“Hot sauce, whiskey, and soy sauce in a shot glass. He didn’t want it.”
“I wouldn't either, it sounds like a recipe for puking. You didn’t like force it down his throat, did you?”
“I would never. Jungwoo is upstairs with him giving him some spiked tea or whatever now,” he gestured towards the stairs. “I won’t hold you up anymore, go get your boy. I’m surprised he hasn’t smelled you and ran down here yet.”
“Me too. Probably the hangover’s doing.”
With that, you took leave of the kitchens, heading up the staircase to the loft that Johnny and Renjun lived in. And Jungwoo and Yukhei as well, for the time being. In the small living area, Taeyong was sitting on the couch, hunched over and holding his head as Jungwoo was perched beside him, tea set on the coffee table in front of them. Yukhei was sitting on the floor in front of the coffee table, utilizing the space left to have a small handkerchief spread out, what looked to be a disassembled watch laid along it as he tinkered with parts in his hands.
“Good morning, everybody!” You announced yourself, causing Taeyong’s head to snap up. He immediately regretted that, letting out a sharp yelp then a whine as he dropped his head back into his hands again.
“Good morning, Lady Onmyoji,” Jungwoo returned your greeting calmly. “Would you like some tea? I was just about to give Taeyong something for his headache.”
“Is the whole pot spiked?”
“No, just Taeyong’s cup has the medicine in it.”
“Then, sure,” you came around to stand by the table, accepting the cup from Jungwoo.
He then picked up another and held it out to Taeyong, “Here you go, Taeyong. It will help with your headache.”
With a grumble, Taeyong took the teacup and took a hesitant sip. Then immediately gulped it all down. He demeanor quickly changed, now able to properly sit up and look up at you. The Nekomata quickly leapt to his feet, throwing his arms around you, “Good morning Y/N!”
“Morning, Yong,” you chuckled, narrowly avoiding spilling your tea.
You heard him take a deep sniff, and when you broke from the hug, he had a clear look of distaste on his face. Okay, so you hadn’t showered last night, but you didn’t think you smelled all that bad.
“So you two are staying here?” You turned your focus to the two brothers before taking a sip of your tea.
“Yes, Johnny and Renjun have been very kind to open their home to my brother and I,” Jungwoo answered.
“I’m sure Renjun didn’t love this idea.”
“No, Renjun did not seem enthused about this, but as the property technically belong to Johnny, he was overruled.”
“Anyway, Taeyong and I should get going, we’ve got errands to run. We’ll see you two Monday for the first patrol.”
“Actually, do you think you would be able to come here tomorrow so I could teach you some Onmyoji incantations that will be useful for Monday?”
“Sure, yeah, I can do that.”
“Wonderful, I will see you tomorrow. Farewell, Lady Onmyoji, Taeyong.”
You and Taeyong gave the brothers your own goodbyes before descending down the stairs, giving Johnny and Renjun passing farewells as well. Out on the sidewalks, Taeyong shoved his hands in his pockets and spat out, “You smell like him.”
“What?” You whipped your head around to look at the Nekomata in confusion.
“The guy you went on a date with the other night,” he retorted harshly. “You smell like him again. And you’re wearing the same clothes you wore yesterday. You said you were tired and going straight home.”
You were able to formulate some kind of defense, albeit vague, “I had a change of plans.”
“Is that why you wanted me to stay at the café?”
“No, Taeyong. I mean…” you took a moment to compile your thoughts, well aware that you hadn’t been entirely transparent with your friend as of late. “That was part of it, yes, but I also offered for you to stay because you need your own life apart from me. I shouldn’t have lied to you, and I’m sorry for that.”
Taeyong didn’t reply, nose still turned up as he refused to look at you, all too interested in the passing storefronts.
So you continued, “But you deserve to hang out with your friends without me. Which is why today we’re going to get you your very own key. You won’t need to rely on me to come and go from the apartment anymore.”
“And you won’t be burdened by me anymore,” he scoffed accusatorily.
“Taeyong, you are not a burden. You are one of my favorite people ever, Yonggie. But we don’t need to be together all the time. I shouldn’t be the center of your world anymore. I’m not your owner, you’re not my cat. We’re friends and we live together. Our lives absolutely will include each other but shouldn’t be entirely about each other. Does that make sense?”
“So your life’s going to be about him instead.”
“If you can’t listen to what I’m actually trying to say and have a productive, mature conversation then we’re done talking about this for now,” you shook your head, stopping the two of you at a store and pulling the front door open for him. “Come on, this place prints keys.”
Back at your apartment, you stopped outside the front door and look over at Taeyong expectantly.
“What?” He scowled.
“Test your key!” You encouraged him.
The Nekomata grabbed the key that had been hanging around his neck since you’d left the shop, sticking it in the lock. He twisted, and it clicked open.
“Yay! Your own key!”
There was a hint of a smile on his lips as he looked down at the object in his hand and opened the door, “Yeah. It works. Thanks, Y/N.”
“You’re welcome, Taeyong.”
Inside, you toed off your shoes and headed for your bedroom, fully intending on getting out of your old clothes, taking a shower, and changing into a fresh outfit before running your weekend errands.
“I’m sorry, Y/N,” Taeyong blurted out from behind you. “About earlier. I was cranky and—”
“Hungover?” You finished for him, amusement in your tone as you turned back around to face him.
“Yeah, that too.”
“I forgive you, Yonggie.”
“I’m going to shower and change then go grocery shopping, if you want to come with me.”
“Jungwoo’s tea fixed my headache, but I still feel pretty bad,” he admitted, dropping onto the couch, and turning into his cat form. “I think I’m just gonna stay here and catnap it off.”
“Okay,” you accepted. “Have fun with that.”
[next] ; [masterlist]
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to all the girls i've loved before ][ p. parker
a tatbilb au
Paring(s): LJ!tom holland x PK!reader
Inspo: TATBILB cause Peter is a total soft boi and also I'm a slut for rom-coms
Word Count: 1500+
Warning(s): cursing and Peter being an awkward bean
Part: prologue | part 1 | part ??
A/N: andddd we back what’s popping y’all
You sat outside the Parker residence, well the apartment building he lived in, tapping your fingers against the steering wheel of your car. Butterflies filled your stomach as you made your game plan. You were definitely going to confront him that was for sure, but you weren’t sure how. Pull a usual [Y/n] and practically yell at the poor kid or try to be as calm as he usually was? The entire situation freaked you out. Especially how much you... actually liked the kiss?
Taking a large obnoxious breath, you stepped out of the Jeep and made your way into the building. The elevator ride up was filled with more nerves than you thought possible. Once reaching his floor, hoping your memory of his apartment was correct, you found his door.
You ringed your knuckles against the door, almost gasping when it opened immediately.
“[Y/n]?” Instead of finding the strange boy you expected, there stood May.
“Hi!” You have an awkward wave only to be pulled into a surprisingly strong embrace.
“Oh my gosh! Little [Y/n]! I haven’t seen you since you moved. Look at how pretty you got. And tall!” The brunette gushed and pulled away from you with a large smile.
You blushed at her compliments, bashfully shrugging as she quickly ushered you inside.
“What brings you here? Want me to make you a chocolate milk or something? I don’t have the farm-made you used to like, but I have Nesquik!” May excitedly babbled on while you took a look at the interior of the place you once knew like the back of your hand.
It felt a lot... emptier. Sure, Peter had lost his parents when he was young, but there was always May and Ben. Now there was just May. You remembered Ben’s funeral, how hard it must have been for Peter. He couldn’t look anyone in the eyes that day, he could barely even get through his eulogy. You wished that the two of you hadn’t grown so far apart that day so you could comfort him. But life had different plans.
“I uh actually need Peter, is he home?” She stopped rifling through her cabinets at your question.
“Oh? In that case he is at Gugino’s, down the block. Can I ask why? Sorry I’m just nosy and excited, you have to come back for dinner soon!” You paused at May’s question, knowing the truth would be way too embarrassing for Peter.
“We’re working on an independent chem project for extra credit. I didn't see him at all in school today, so I just want to get it started.” Double lie, good job [Y/n].
“Then I will stop holding you here! Have fun on your little study date!” May ushered you out of the apartment in the same frantic nature she possessed since you were little.
Though hearing the word ‘date’ made your eyes go wide.
“It’s not a-... date.” She closed the door before you could even finish your sentence.
Peter would definitely be hearing back about this.
You couldn’t dwell on May though, you had a mission. Confront Parker’s scrawny ass. The letter? One thing. Looked like he wrote it in the eighth grade, weird but whatever. Him jumping you in the middle of gym?? Totally different story.
Stubbornness took over and you didn’t even have the time to think about how soft his lips were and how chills went down your spine when his hand touched your waist. Nope none of it. Absolutely not.
The drive to Gugino’s was indeed just down the block and you are thankful to see Peter inside from your car window. As well as his bike barely locked into the bike stand out front. You shook your head, that shit was bound to get stolen.
Gugino’s was a small Italian diner which primarily focused on pizzas and deli sandwiches, the smell that greeted you on the inside was pure nostalgia. Though you didn’t have time to bask in old memories, you had questions which needed major answers.
You took it upon yourself to join the boy at his lone table, not so gracefully making yourself a seat with a “Sup Parker.”
He gasped while taking a sip of his soda, nearly making him choke. “O- oh! Hi [Y/n].” He meekly replied, and you could feel just how much he was already panicking.
Even when he looked like he wanted to run away from you he was cute. How did you never realize this? You shook your head to dispel the thought line before it could get any further. There was a time and place for deciding on how adorkable he is and it is not right now.
A waiter stopped by the table and patted Peter on the shoulder. He was an older Italian man, grays occupying what was left of his balding head. He had a warm face though.
“Oh.. and anything for your lady friend, Peter?” He smirked while Peter put his head in his hands.
“She’s not with-“
“I’ll take mozzarella sticks and do you have cherry coke?” You interrupted the boy with a smirk.
The man smiled, “coming right up, Sweetheart.”
The two of you sat in awkward silence for the next few seconds, yourself actually choosing to wait for him because you knew he would make it even more uncomfortable. Well, make himself uncomfortable, you felt fine.
“So... uh what brings you here?” You nearly giggle at his question, but pull yourself together to put on that nonchalant attitude he apparently doesn’t like about you.
“Who? Me? I’m just here for some fried cheese sticks. Though I guess while you’re around I’ll ask... what the hell was that today?? See normally when a girl rejects a guy over a love letter he wrote when he was 14, said guy takes the hint. No instead, you made out with me in front of the student body and ran away!” Peter’s face turns more and more pink as you ramble, and you hate how cute you find it.
“[Y/n] [Y/l/n]. I am not trying to date you, I’m so sorry about today.” He says and you two both pause when the waiter brings over your mozzarella sticks and soda.
“Okay well, here’s the thing. Your mouth is saying something... but your mouth was also saying something today? So forgive me if I’m a little confused.” You dunked a stick in marinara sauce with a cheeky grin.
He shook his head, “I only kissed you because I wanted to make someone else think I wasn’t in love with them.”
Well way to make a girl not feel special, Parker. Then again, at least it confirmed that he wasn’t obsessed with you. Still weird, though.
“Oh.. who?” Your confused frustration quickly disappeared, changing instead to a devious curiosity.
He shakes his head, lips pursing as if to say he wouldn’t be answering that question.
“You know... I could just tell the whole school that you wrote me-“
“Fine! It’s MJ. And you’re not the only one that got a letter okay, so get off your high horse.” This time you did actually giggle at his frustration, finding the boy to be very entertaining.
“Damn player. Isn’t she like one of your best friends, why don’t you just ask her out?” His jaw dropped and Peter rapidly shook his head.
“She was never supposed to read that letter! None of you were. I can’t- me and MJ are so close, I don’t want to scare her away by saying I’m in love with her. Though I guess I already crossed that bridge.” To be honest, you felt for the guy.
Sure the letter thing was a bit strange, but it was clearly something personal for him. Maybe a diary type medium, and it really seemed like he didn’t want anyone to read them. Even as a kid he had been that sweet, emotional type. Which was welcome in the small friend group the two of you used to occupy.
Flash was an ass. MJ was aloof, mysterious, and not even there half the time. Peter was quiet. You were wild. Ned was a dork. And Harry was somehow the playboy who always butted heads with you for the leadership position. Though that changed almost immediately after he transferred to his fancy rich boy school. And then you moved out to the nearby suburbs, with Flash as your boyfriend.
MJ and you felt out of touch too easily. And Peter and Ned became just a ‘hi’ in the hallway. Though, that was just the way time managed.
By the time he finished ranting, you had already finished your mozzarella sticks and soda.
“That’s rough, Parker. I’m sorry these got out, just from mine... seemed really personal. I’m sure you and MJ will be okay though.” You comforted him, placing a hand on his shoulder before standing up to take your trash out.
“Want me to give you a ride home? Least I can do after ambushing you.” You add and he has a small smile on his face before he nods.
The ride home is silent for the most part. Both of your minds are too occupied to speak. Yours fills with thoughts of the day after that kiss. All your friends mentioned how word got to Flash and just how pissed he got. You hoped he wouldn’t lash out on Peter, but part of you was happy that he was jealous. Not that he had any right to be considering he was the one that fucked it all up.
Then, it was as if you had been struck with a stroke of genius.
“What if we just let everyone think we’re dating?”
@radtwinkie @dolan-mendes @whormotional @pluckypete @princessleah129 @banjosanjo @astrobub @mktravelbuggie @iamaunicorn4704 @used-avocado
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OC Companion Meme
i got tagged by @ultrastimpaks !! thanks gio love u
rules: pick out a fallout oc and fill out the prompts!
tagging uh. @sleights-of-hand @rocket-69 and @rotarydials !!
>> which game would they be from?
>> where would you find them?
A random encounter in the subways!
>> how do you recruit them?
"Just put it down! I didn't do anything to you!" Oppy shouts at the pair while holding her hands in the air.
"Aw, you really think I care, don't you?" The raider throws Oppy's backpack to another, who begins to dig through its contents.
"Never said that. Just give it back and I'll be on my--"
(I wrote it out as a dialogue tree scenario! Read the rest here!)
After rescuing Oppy from the raiders, you have the option to recruit her as a traveling companion.
>> do they have a specialized task?
If you give her dirty water, she’ll eventually hand back purified water!
(First time picking up dirty water with Oppy traveling with you) “Oooh! My mom taught me how to boil all the dirt and stuff out of water ages ago. I can clean those up for you if you want! Much healthier too, don’t want you getting sick on me!”
(Giving her dirty water) “Oh yuck! Will get this back to you as soon as I can!”
(Handing back purified water) “Bye dirt! You belong with the plants, not in my drinking water, thank you very much!”
>> do they give the player items? if yes, which items?
Oppy will occasionally pick up miscellaneous items on your journey with her. Sometimes they’ll even be useful! She will occasionally share them with the player. The things she picks up can range from an old pre-war phone to a stray stimpak she nabbed.
>> do they have a personal quest? if yes, what would it be?
Oppy doesn’t have a personal quest, but she’ll occasionally bring up smaller quests to go to different places around the DC area for research purposes. The player will likely need to take down low-level enemies from these locations before Oppy is able to complete her research.
If enough quests are completed, the player is granted the ‘In the Know!’ perk. This will grant special dialogue options while Oppy is by your side.
(For example, during the Stealing Independence quest if you have Oppy by your side you can ask Abraham to tell you more about the location you’re going to.)
>> can you romance them?
(If flirted with) “Oh! Well, I’m flattered, but I’m not really looking for romance right now. I’d rather just go on more adventures with you! Where to next?”
>> what perk would they give the player?
Walking on Sunshine: Well-rested will always be granted after sleeping in a bed - being around Opportunity just seems to put you in a good mood! You also receive bonus EXP for any non-combat related actions.
>> what are their SPECIAL stats?
S - 6, P - 4, E - 6, C - 9, I - 8, A - 7, L - 7
- Using a cooking station. “I love cooking! Do you need any help? I know what I’m doing, believe it or not.”
- Helping others, doing good deeds. “Good work! Some people are just down on their luck.”
- Taking down Paradise Falls. “No one deserves to be treated like that. No one.”
- Choosing the non-violent option in quests. “You handled that well! Sometimes words work better than bullets.”
- Helping Moira with the Wasteland Survival Guide. “I know it’s tough, but it’s going to help a lot of people! No, really! ...What do you mean I sound just like her, shut up!”
- Siding with Roy Phillips and doing the non-violent route of the Tenpenny Tower quest. “You did the right thing, that Alistair guy is an asshole. ...Excuse my language.”
- Entering vaults. “The so-called height of the pre-war era... Did you know they were experimenting on people even before the bombs dropped? Cruel. We should get out of here as soon as we can.”
- Drinking alcohol or using chems. “Hey! Being intoxicated isn’t going to help us get anywhere!”
- Pickpocketing/Stealing. “What are you doing?! Put that back!”
- Attempting to unlock owned doors or objects. “Stop it! How would you like it if I blatantly ignored your privacy? Those are locked for a reason!”
- Killing brahmin. “If you wanted to be a butcher you could have just said so, but this isn’t the time or place. What did they do to you?”
- Leaving Harold alive during the Oasis quest. “I want plants back just as much as anyone else, but this isn’t the way to do it. He’s suffering at the hands of these people... Maybe you should have rethought that.” (Oppy will pull you aside to try talking you out of it multiple times during the quest.)
- Blowing up Megaton. “Why... would you.... I don’t understand your- What? You know what? No. I can’t stand to look at your face. Don’t try explaining yourself, I’m leaving. Don’t come running after me, either.” (Oppy will permanently leave you if you blow up Megaton. She will pull you aside to try talking you out of it multiple times throughout the quest.)
- Siding with the Brotherhood. “I’m afraid I don’t get why you would do that... They’re only out to help themselves. Have you seen the way they treat anyone different from their own?”
>> “use melee”
"Oh! Okay, I got my bat ready! I’ll try my best!”
>> “use ranged”
"I’m not sure that’s the best decision, I always seem to lose my ammo...”
>> “stay close”
“Right behind you! I’ll try not to trip you up.”
>> “keep distance”
“Got it! They’ll never see us- Er... Me, coming!”
>> “back up”
“Oh sorry, was I too close?”
>> “be passive”
“Great! That’s my specialty.”
>> “be aggressive”
“Why would you want me to do that?”
>> “wait here”
“No problem! Do you want me to set up a camp while I wait?”
>> “follow me”
“Off we go!”
>> when healed
“Ow ow ow- Oh, thanks! You sure we don’t have to amputate?”
>> when killed (general)
“This wasn’t... how I planned this going...”
>> when killed (by player)
“I trusted you!”
>> when talking
“Back home my granmama would always make these tato cakes- they were the BEST. You’d love ‘em. Maybe I could make them for you sometime!”
“There’s a lot more to learn about our history than you’d think. Doesn’t do any good to just ignore it when it’s all repeating itself again.”
“One time my cousins and I were out playing in a nearby creek when we were young and Matty got his leg stuck in the mud.. We were out there for HOURS until my dad and my uncle came out to rescue us. Hey, at least we got snacks afterward!”
“Don’t you find feral ghouls fascinating? I mean, basically losing your mind and who you are as a person.. Only hanging onto what little threads of memory you can hang onto. Must be hard.”
“I think the Capitol Preseveration Society is doing good work, even if most people don’t appreciate it. History has to be remembered somehow!”
“Back home we didn’t have a lot of plants, but we at least had more than there are here.. Sometimes I get tired of all the concrete and rubble.”
“You know... As much as I enjoy looking back at history and all, I don’t want you to think I want to go back to it. Pre-war wasn’t good, I mean, hell, it ended up with a nuclear war that brought us to where we are now.”
“I’ve always thought people should make more of their own music. My family was always singing and drumming against things... I rarely see any of that around here. It’s kinda gloomy, really!”
“I’m not a fan of that Brotherhood of Steel group... They say they’re preserving old technology, but they’re not really helping anybody or teaching anyone outside of their crew, are they?”
>> when trading (neutral)
“Shoot... Which pocket did I put this in again?”
“Hold on, I think I lost... Nope, there it is.”
>> when trading (happy)
“Oh good! Do you have snacks?”
“I assure you I’ll handle your things with the UTMOST care and attention. I even have a dust rag around here somewhere!”
>> when dismissed
“Oh, okay... I’ll be in Rivet City if you need me!”
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(Peter Parker X Reader)
AUTHOR’S NOTE: First imagine!! I’ve been wanting to start a tumblr blog for forever, so I’m really excited to finally get it done. I also have a wattpad account (which is also called lovely-aestheticcc) where I will be posting these imagines as well, so please be sure to check it out if you are on that platform. I hope you enjoy!
DISCLAIMER: My work is not to be reposted anywhere without my expressed written consent. However, reblogging is not only appreciated, but also encouraged! + I do NOT own MCU or any of the characters I write about!
SUMMARY: After Peter blows you off yet again, you go to his apartment to confront him, only to find out that your boyfriend isn't really just Peter Parker -- he's Spider-Man, too.
WARNINGS: Angst if you squint + fluffy ending!
WORD COUNT: 970
✺ ✺ ✺
“I’m gonna kill him. I swear, this time I’m actually gonna do it. I’m going to murder my boyfriend,” you thought to yourself.
Usually, you were a pretty chill person. However, mix in an honors chemistry test that you now had less than fifteen hours to study for and the fact that your usually very dedicated boyfriend had blown you off for the third time this week -- not to mention it was only Wednesday. Not only that, but he was constantly always giving some kind of nonsense excuse, like’ “Oh I’m sorry baby, I promised Ned I’d finally help him build the lego death star,” or “May said I’ve been going out too much. Is it cool if we rain check?” These excuses, and many, many others were precisely why you were practically marching your way up to Peter and May’s apartment.
Knocking on the apartment door, you cross your arms as you mentally prepare yourself to give Peter the scolding of his lifetime the second the door swings open. However, when it does, you come face to face with none other than his Aunt May. With a warm smile upon her face, she quickly ushered you into the apartment -- and into a big hug -- as she greeted you.
“Hi Y/N! I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever sweetie. How’ve you been?”
Quickly plastering your own smile onto your face, you gave her a quick hug back as you replied.
“Hey May! I’ve been doing great actually. I hate to cut this short, but is Peter here? He promised he’d come by right after school, and now it’s- “
“6 o’clock.” She cut you off with wide eyes. “W-what do you mean he didn’t come by? I swear that boy is gonna be the death of me, he’s always going somewhere or doing something without even telling me!” She complained. “Look hun, you can go stay in his room for now, I know you guys have to prepare for the chem test tomorrow. I’m gonna go try Peter’s cell, okay?”
Even though you knew that was practically hopeless seeing as you had already tried texting, calling, and snap-chatting him at least a dozen times today, you simply nodded. “Thanks May,” you said whilst making your way towards his room.
✰ ✰ ✰
Another hour had passed, and there was still no sign of Peter. If you weren’t worried already, you definitely were now. Your mind was racing nearly as fast as your heart as the worst things started to come to mind. “Could he be cheating on me? I mean, I couldn’t see him ever doing something like that, but who knows? Oh God, what if something happened to him? At least before he’d give me some stupid reason why he couldn’t make it, but now, nothing!”
You were brought out of your mind and back to reality as you heard the window open, and saw a bruised and disoriented Peter stumbled into the room. Quickly standing up from the bed, you scampered over to him, questions immediately leaving your mouth. “P-Peter? What the hell happened to you? Are you okay? Why’d you come in through the window? Wait, what are you wearin-” Your mouth instantly snapped shut as realization hit you. “You’re Spider-Man?”
Immediately, he began shaking his head as if it was the only thing he knew how to do. “NO!” He practically exclaimed, “No, no, no. Look Y/N, this isn’t what it looks like! I promise, I-I can explain.” he rambled on as he took your hands in his own.
For a second there, you could've sworn that you actually saw red. ”What do you mean it’s not what it looks like!?” You whisper-shouted. As angry and upset as you were, you still had the sense to think that his Aunt May probably -- okay, definitely -- did not know that he was… well, who he was.
Pushing his hands out of your own, your eyes widened as you say back on his bed, covering your face with the palms of your hand.
”How could this not be what it looks like, Peter!? Because from what I'm seeing, it looks like you're the ’Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man’ you've been acting like you couldn't care any less about!”
He knelt down to be closer to where you were seated on his bed and nodded quickly, as if agreeing with you would make you feel better about the situation. ”I know, I know I've been lying and I've been secretive and I know you’re angry at me right now and you have every right to be. But please, baby, you have to understand. I only did it because I had to keep you safe. May doesn't even know, o-or Ned, and-”
Quickly, you pulled him close to you and cut him off with a kiss. As much as you hated the fact that he had to keep it from you, you could understand why he did. After all, you had always been a very ’put yourself in their shoes’ kind of person.
As you kissed him passionately, you could have sworn you felt the relief flooding through Peter’s veins.
”I’m not mad at you, baby; I get it, I promise.” You reassured him. ”As much as I wish you didn't have to keep it from me, that's the last thing on my mind right now. I'm more worried about those bruises on your face, ” you frowned at him as you caressed his cheek where a deep purple bruise was forming.
”So you're really not breaking up with me or anything? You're not mad, promise?” He questioned with hopeful eyes.
Smiling brightly, you brought him in for a hug as you soothingly rubbed his back. ”I could never break up with you baby, I promise.”
✺ ✺ ✺
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why it’s kind of funny that P!ATD is remembered as an emo band
For the record, I don’t really have an opinion on what the band should be called or what specific music labels involve. You can call Panic! at the Disco emo if you need to. I just think it’s funny now to look back on how much the band (especially Ryan Ross) hated being called emo in 2005 & 2006 and how some fans would get so frustrated with the label.
here’s a general idea of how the emo association evolved & why it stuck...
The Summer League was somewhat similar to Fall Out Boy, but then Ryan, Spencer, Brendon, & Brent chose to start Panic! at the Disco and write music that wasn’t like what everyone else was doing. They talked SO much about how they wanted to shake things up, challenge people, and generally do something different. Ironically, their main identity in the media got tied to Fall Out Boy early on because of the way they were signed. Some journalists had to write about P!ATD before the guys had released an album, so there wasn’t much easy info to go with besides the FOB connection. It looked like a couple writers decided P!ATD must therefore be emo or emo-punk if they were Fall Out Boy Jr... then everyone else who had to write something in fall 2005 must have referenced those few articles and everything snowballed from there. Ryan even told NME in late 2006 “I think one writer started [that we’re emo]. We don’t even listen to emo.”
I think that was definitely the case in January & April 2006 when UK journalists were getting ready for the band’s arrival and looked to see what their image was in the USA. It felt like P!ATD was getting so big so fast that people were scrambling to write something and just referenced what others had already said (but then added even more emo enthusiasm). So basically the articles available about the band in early 2006 were mostly repeating each other and running with the initial label that came from the Fall Out Boy association. Tween magazines really didn’t help when they tried to market P!ATD as emo heartthrobs too. A lot of kids were introduced to the band through that lens.
Ryan to MTV: "It's a bummer to realize we're in Teen Beat magazine and read some sh---y article they've written about us being an emo-punk band. I've seen those kids at the shows, I can hear them, and I can certainly tell the difference between one of our fans and a Fall Out Boy fan who's just there because they heard we were hot."
I think another thing that helped solidify the emo image was the very public feud with The Killers & Fall Out Boy that P!ATD got dragged into. It started in early fall 2005 when P!ATD was on their first tour (right before AFYCSO was released) and continued to build until late summer 2006 (although it kept being brought up in interviews long after that). Basically, Brandon Flowers was warning people about how dangerous “emo” bands like Fall Out Boy & P!ATD were. And then Brandon later admitted that he’d never actually listened to P!ATD, so even he was judging them based on what he knew about Fall Out Boy. When NME asked Ryan if he thought the emo label was insulting, Ryan replied “it’s ignorant.”
In January 2006 Ryan told Big Cheese “I don’t know what it is, people just want to compare us to [Fall Out Boy.] It’s getting to the point where we just want to be known as Panic! at the Disco.” Pete was also in Rolling Stone around this time hyping P!ATD by saying they’re “like the Killers meets Fall Out Boy meets the Faint.” So that probably didn’t help. Here’s another article that interviewed Ryan & talked about the emo misunderstanding:
“Most interviews we do we only get asked about Fall Out Boy,’ notes Ross with more than a hint of disappointment and anger in his voice. ‘Because of that people do not actually know what we are like and I have heard rumors that we are a manufactured pop band because of that.’ Musically misunderstood, the band’s ever-growing fan base are getting an increasingly distorted vision of the boys…”
Most fans I heard from online in late 2005 & early 2006 were so frustrated & confused by the inaccurate emo label for P!ATD. However, by spring 2006 there was a group of new fans who had discovered the band through the Fall Out Boy association, tween magazines, MTV, or another media source. Those fans considered themselves emo and were content with viewing the band through that lens. And I suppose it’s nice to have a quick label... journalists who recognized that the band wasn’t emo usually had to work so hard to invent some kind of genre for them. AOL had categorized P!ATD as emo, punk-pop, and punk revival, but got complaints from both P!ATD fans and the punk crowd saying that the labels were inaccurate.
side note: there were SO many labels being pinned on the band – emo was just one of them.
A few journalists were definitely pointing out that P!ATD seemed to be influenced by a range of older eras and had little to do music-wise with the current emo scene. I didn’t care too much about labels or trying to fit something into a box... but I did care that the emo label seemed to really frustrate Ryan at times. He had been working SO hard to do something different.
By summer 2006 some fans were getting even more frustrated with the more frequent emo, emo-punk, emo-pop, etc kinds of labels, but I had basically given up and accepted that the mistake couldn’t be undone since the band had surged towards international fame so quickly. “Emo” would be linked to the band in any google search now and it had mostly come from journalists who didn’t know much about the band besides the FOB association and whatever other news sources had written. I think it also didn’t help that the guys started wearing eyeliner, skinny jeans, and getting haircuts that made them look like they belonged in the Warped Tour scene (even though they turned down the opportunity to do that). It sounded like the band got a stylist in mid-2006 who seemed to be playing into the media’s image too (especially at the VMAs), so the guys did look pretty emo in the last part of the Fever era.
More & more new fans identified as emo, so I thought that label ended up being less of a big deal within the fandom by 2007. It especially became less of a big deal when the band drastically changed their image for the Pretty. Odd. era. I’m only talking about how frustrating the emo label was to both the band and most fans at first.
SOME RELEVANT INTERVIEW QUOTES FROM 2006:
Ryan to Big Cheese in early 2006: “we’ve been called an emo band before, which is a little off the wall. I don’t really see anything in the lyrics that’s ‘emo.’”
Ryan to Aquarian Weekly in spring 2006: “Everyone is so quick to label things, and I guess people think we’re emo because of some of the bands we have toured with are what they would call emo, but we don’t think that’s what we are.”
Ryan to AMP in May 2006: “I think that people think that they have us pinned. They’ll classify us as an emo band or a pop-punk band or this or that. And even beyond music, too. It used to bother us but now we’re kind of getting used to it.”
Nylon: Ryan, do you hate Panic! being tagged as an emo band?
Ryan: It’s pretty limiting, because we have so many other influences. Queen are my favorite band. And Counting Crows and Pink Floyd.
(side note -- I love how by spring 2006 Brendon had influenced Ryan to love Queen more, and Ryan had influenced Brendon to love the Amelie soundtrack).
from People Magazine in fall 2006: “We're not pop or punk or emo. I think emo takes itself too seriously.”
from the September 2006 Blender article: for Ross, emo has become a dirty word. “It’s almost an insult,” he says. “We’ve totally exceeded emo, which is so stagnant. Not to be cocky, but those bands aren’t thinking outside the box.”
Brendon to a New Zealand magazine in October 2006: “We don’t think of ourselves as emo at all. Definitely not. We’re generally based in rock music, which is such a broad term. But to us [emo is] just a label that fits a lot of bands that are really bad. So it’s an insulting thing to be called emo.”
Brendon to NME in October 2006: “Emo is bullshit! If people want to take it for the literal sense of the word, yes we’re an emotional band, we put a lot of thought into what we do. People always try to stereotype us, but we don’t fit the emo stereotype.” (NME put the isolated “emo is bullshit!” quote on their cover).
To AbsolutePunk towards the end of 2006...
Brendon: NME thrives on beef. The writer spent two days with us trying to get us to talk shit about My Chem, the Killers and Fall Out Boy and what he got out of us was a quote taken out of context.
Spencer: I would hope that if someone likes our band that likes emo, they would continue to like us even if we don’t consider ourselves emo. Brendon didn’t mean emo bands are bullshit, he meant emo is a bullshit term because its so vague.”
GAFFA summed it up in late 2006 by saying “Through the entire music history, the music that young people listen to has been put into boxes with a genre label to make it easier for outsiders and the media, but often the titles are quite misleading.” Brendon also told them that “the world emo is quite insulting.”
I didn’t follow My Chemical Romance, but I still saw some of their interviews where they were also confused why some journalists were trying to lump them in with Fall Out Boy & P!ATD since all three bands were doing different things. Gerard Way told GAFFA:
“I really can’t see the comparison between bands like us, AFI, Fall Out Boy and Panic! Of course we’re all inspired by a lot of the same things, and we share a dark and theatrical aesthetic, but other than that, I don’t think we’re alike. Is it just because we wear eyeliner?”
MCR was dealing with legit attacks against their fans for being emo, though, so that was a whole other scene.
One fan wrote a letter to an editor in fall 2006 to kindly explain that Panic! at the Disco and the majority of their fanbase hated the inaccurate emo label. The editor actually replied and said she didn’t think it was wrong even if the band thought so lol.
AMP wrote in early summer 2006: “It’s an argument that seems to have escaped most knee-jerk critics and loudmouthed messageboard denizens but, in a lot of ways, it’s possible that Panic! at the Disco have more in common with a band like the Strokes than most of their contemporaries in the post-emo punk scene.”
The band’s Fever-era costumes also made it pretty clear that they were reaching for older eras & doing their own thing instead of trying to be part of the current music scene (like they’d been saying all along).
The guys in P!ATD were a bit better with polite, “correct” interview answers by 2008 and were way more chill about the whole emo label.
SOME ARTICLE EXCERPTS & QUOTES FROM 2008:
A June 2008 article in The Guardian: It's debatable whether Panic were ever really "emo" in the first place… The emo tag stems from their association with Fall Out Boy's Pete Wentz, the impresario of emo... whose own fans provided Panic's initial audience.
BBC: Has your new album Pretty. Odd. put the 'emo' tag attached to you to bed?
P!ATD: “We haven't been asked about that in a long time. With this new record our main goal was to make people open their eyes and view us as a band and not really as a specific trend.”
Rock Mag: Last time you said "Emo is bullshit.” Did you change your looks to distance yourselves even more from that scene?
Spencer: “Exactly. We never considered ourselves as emo and it really bothered us that we were stuck in it.”
Ultimate Guitar: I don't necessarily think the label emo applies to the band... There are some who did place that label on the band when you first came onto the scene. Did that bother you?
Ryan: “I guess it didn't offend us. It just felt like it was a misplaced word for our band... It was just sort of this fad that was coming up. Being a new band, people were trying to call it emo. That was the thing to do. I guess people are going to call you whatever they're going to call you. We still wrote the same songs we were going to write on this album, and people can call it emo or they can call it rock and roll. It doesn't really change the song. So it is whatever it is.”
an excerpt from Nylon: [Pretty. Odd.] constitutes an attempt by the band to distance themselves from their emo poster-boy past, a tag Ross insists was “a little off” anyways.
Jon to College Candy: “we don’t have a description of what we are. We just kinda write songs and they sound like our band.”
THE MAIN POST
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Can you talk about Neurology? I need something good today I'm about to failing my chem exam so...a friend being exited will have to do :P
Actually, it’s because of my neurology and the lack of academic accommodations for it that I failed my chem exam and subsequently the class. “”^^
Anyway, maybe you’ll know a lot of this stuff and maybe you won’t, but here goes:
The line where psychology stops and neurology starts is often hard to define. Since so much of neurology and psychology is a mix of both nature and nurture, sometimes folks get misdiagnosed with the wrong things. This isn’t helped by the fact that so many practitioners are older and working off of what they were taught in like,,,, the 80′s-90′s. Even the early 2000′s was a bit behind in terms of psychology and neurology (hence why my brother got diagnosed as autistic when we were kids and I didn’t).
Comorbid disorders and conditions are fairly common, especially with neurodiversity, I myself am diagnosed as autistic and I have ADHD, chronic depression, “anxiety (unspecified)” (I don't agree with this one but I’ll come back to that), and gender dysphoria. (Gender dysphoria being more of a symptom, in my opinion, rather than a whole disorder on its own, but I digress.)
I mention this blurred line between psychology and neurology because it becomes difficult to hash out which conditions people have and which symptoms belong to which of their conditions. For example, I have dealt with severe executive dysfunction most of my life. Executive dysfunction is a symptom of ADHD and depression (and autism too, in some cases). So it was really a guessing game of which condition could be causing this symptom.
Due to the fact that I wasn’t diagnosed as ADHD until this year, everyone (including me) assumed it was just my depression. However, when my antidepressant (Wellbutrin) started working wonders on my depressive symptoms, I noticed that the executive dysfunction wasn’t going away. That lead me to believe it might be my ADHD instead and I am now trying Adderall in addition to my other medications.
I don’t agree with my anxiety diagnosis because a lot of my anxiety was caused by gender dysphoria and how the world treats autistics. I hated being perceived in public as female and therefore felt extreme anxiety and apprehension being in public. Furthermore, due to my inability to cope with quick changes and not understanding most social cues, I landed myself in many situations that were anxiety inducing for me. Since I have been on testosterone and have better understood my autism, my anxiety has become almost nonexistent.
Excuse me while I shift gears for a moment:
Especially those of you studying psychology and/or neurology (I don’t care if you’re learning it in school or not), don’t be afraid to gently educate your evaluator if you think they’re using outdated diagnostic criteria.
Of course, bluntly calling them out might make them cross with you, so be weary of that. No one wants to see you go without a diagnosis on paper if you’re needing one (I consider self-diagnosis to be valid).
But sometimes, you may need to educate your evaluator to help them see that your symptoms are worth considering. It sucks, I know, but it’s how myself and a lot of others have secured their diagnoses. My evaluator’s image of autism was just a small, nonverbal white boy who had no friends and played with trains. I wish I were exaggerating.
And once you get that shiny diagnosis on a piece of paper? Go get accommodations if you feel safe doing so. Don’t let guilt or pride stop you, especially in academia. Getting accommodations can be more difficult in a job setting because ableism permeates every level of capitalism, but do your best to get accommodations and keep your job.
You deserve help in a world that wasn’t built for you. You’re not getting “unfair advantages” by accessing accommodations, you’re leveling the playing field. You’re playing with neurotypicals and able-bodied folks on their own turf and a lot of them don’t like you having accommodations if it means you can compete with them. Don't give the ableists that satisfaction. If you won’t secure accommodations for yourself, then at least try doing it to spite the abelists.
Disclaimer: Make sure it is safe for you to pursue accommodations with your institution before you start. A close friend of mine lost his job because they didn’t want to accommodate his disability. (They did this in an extremely sneaky way so my friend can’t prove that his disability was the reason he was fired.) People can and do lose their jobs over this, so be careful. And try to report any malpractice if you can.
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crazy shit that happened during high school
my favorite teacher (pe coach) ended up being a pedophile. it’s kinda scary to think about bc like,, that was my favorite teacher and i trusted him and if he tried anything with me i don’t think i would’ve stopped him and just yikes. but yeah, it was a whole thing. once the school found out they got the police involved and he fled the state. they got him in the end but i mean,, i spent a lot of time in the secretary’s office crying about it bc i really trusted that dude and i was distraught over it. that might’ve been where my trust issues started??? fun stuff
my school shut down. like i mean,, bc it was a charter school and we had to get the charter renewed. but the board at my school wasn’t using their money the way they were supposed to. it was a whole thing, like the principal left that school year bc he knew what was happening, couldn’t stop them from doing it, and didn’t want to be part of it. so they had a lot of meetings that us kids were allowed to go to so we could see what was happening and all that. i only went to one and it was A Time bc the lady who was recording everything passed tf out and of course nobody was a doctor and my pipsqueak thirteen year old ass went “i know what to do” bc i Did so i had to help her which was a trip in and of itself. but anyways, the school’s charter got denied, and everyone had to transfer, but the district promised that we could go to any school we wanted, not just the one we would have to go to by zip code
i ended up going to a private christian school. big fucking mistake. absolute disaster. nothing really happened that was crazy by their standards, but it was for me
so they have a house system. think of harry potter, it’s EXACTLY like that. we have points, we have competitions, we have all that extra stuff. it was such a time, like i don’t,, i don’t even know how to explain how fucking weird that shit was
i came out in the middle of class. the principal’s daughter was our sub and she goes “okay so everyone is gonna tell us something that nobody knows about them” so when it was my turn i go “so it’s not a secret and y’all should know this but clearly y’all don’t: i’m not straight”. silence. dead silence. we could hear the class next to us it was so quiet. some girl whispers “i knew it”. another girl leans over and whispers to my friend “i’m so sorry”. principal’s daughter gives me the most threatening, condescending smile i’ve ever seen and goes “thanks for sharing”. i had to come out to my mom that same day bc i told me friends and they panicked on my behalf bc when people found out that they were gay, the principal told their parents. and i was Not about to be outed by the principal. my mom has since told me that the principal never contacted her about it so i came out for nothing but i mean i really like being out so we’re good
so instead of prom, cult school has this thing called “the ball”. sophomores, juniors, and seniors are allowed to go bc there’s less than fifty people per grade so if sophomores don’t come, there’s not enough people. so i went bc my friends were all going and i was like “yeah why not might as well”. three dance lessons. three fucking dance lessons for this stupid ball that i didn’t dance once at. i literally had three panic attacks in the span of an hour at the second one, and then i had swim practice right after. fucking exhausted. felt like i ran five marathons by the time i got home. the last lesson i didn’t do any dancing, just vibed with my friend in the corner. so at the actual ball, same friend and i vibed at the tables the whole time. we went to the bathroom for like an hour and took mirror selfies and tried to make our asses look bigger bc we’re Like That
SO AFTER THE BALL, there was apparently a massive party and there was alcohol and stuff. so my friends and i were blissfully unaware bc nobody liked us bc who tf likes the school sinners. so we walked to get ice cream after in our fucking ballgowns and suits looking like All That. so the principal thought that it was one of us who hosted the party and we were like “??? what party?”. literally almost got in trouble bc the principal thought we were LYING. i told my mom and she takes No Shit, so when the principal called her demanding to know if i went to/hosted the party, she marched her ass down to the school and was like “i know y’all have something against mexicans and people who are different from y’all, but that’s no reason to blame my daughter for something that your so called “perfect” students did”. my mom got Heated, roasted the fuck out of the principal, then LEFT. principal never fucked with my mom after that
so there was a fire like across the street from the school. the fd told us to evacuate, but noooooo the school was like “god will protect us” i’m like “okay but i’m gay and apparently your god hates that so i think we’re gonna Perish”. the fucking POWER went out and they STILL wouldn’t let us go. my mom called to sign me out so i could go wherever the fuck i wanted in the school until my friend’s dad came to pick us up bc she couldn’t get there bc of the fire. so i vibed next door to my friends’ class and i was like “heeeeey god’s trying to kill the gays” and we laughed about that until my gay ass got saved lmaoooo
okay so this is the funniest memory i have. in chemistry once, our teacher took us outside and started digging a lil hole next to the school. and keep in mind, my chem teacher used to be a hardcore atheist druggie, like fucking meth and coke and shit. took a theology course and converted. so he’s really sweet and nice but he’s also Slightly mad scientist vibes. so anyways, he puts something in this little hole, lights it on fire. i forgot why he did it, but i was standing back with him and one of the exchange students and the three of us watch in Horror as the rest of the class makes a circle around the fire and start doing some weird dance and saying something. it wasn’t like a chant, idk what to call it, but they were like counting like “and one, and two, and three, and four” and then the dance would get more intense and they’d get louder. so eventually they were screaming and going apeshit and i looked at my teacher and he’s just,, watching them do this. i’m like “and i’m satan, huh?”. like these kids really trying to summon the devil but i’m the bad one bc i like girls
so technically this was during the summer but i’m putting it here. they have like a house party after the school year ends. i made cookies. apparently they “looked weird” so nobody ate them, two of my soon to be teachers kept insulting them. i called my mom to pick me up, took my cookies with me, got back in the car in tears. had to have a whole conversation with the principal and those two teachers so they could apologize bc i wanted to leave the school after that. dw tho, i took my cookies to the guards at my summer camp and they appreciated the hell out of them bc they were Very Good Cookies
so my ap bio teacher was an enabler. i was his favorite bc i wasn’t a religious nut and it was very obvious that i believed in science and not whatever the hell this cult was doing with their creationist bs. also he was a parasitologist and i’m super into parasitology so he had fun talking about it to someone who both understood and was extremely interested in the topic. i rolled up to class one day like “hey so i’m gonna buy hissing cockroaches from amazon, if my parents find out and don’t let me keep them do you want them??” and he’s like “yeah”. i brought them to class a few times and everyone Hated it but my teacher was like ayyyyy. and everyone thought he was either and atheist or agnostic, so when some girl asked how he thought mary conceived jesus to see what he said, he looked at me like “y’all hear somethin/hel p” and i go “parthenogenesis” and he Went With It, talking about how it was theoretically possible in humans but we ignored the fact that the baby would’ve been a girl bc the class is dumb none of them have ever heard of parthenogenesis before jesus is the true trans icon we all need
my art teacher was my favorite and she knows that i’m gay. she’s the only teacher from my school that i’m still in contact with. so every big project we did, i made it gay. and i knew, and my friends knew, and she knew, but the rest of the class had no idea. i’m like presenting my project and the class would get sus and they’re like “so are those two really good friends” and i’m like “so she has a rainbow heart on her choker and she has a lesbian symbol on her shirt”. the class was still confused and my friend yells “they’re LESBIANS”. it was iconic
my brit lit teacher was bi. she never said it, but i know she was. always talked about how much she hated men, then was like “women are very very good”. no way this woman was straight. so we read dracula and it’s got that Subtext, so one time i leaned over to my friend bc he sat next to me and i go “the Homoerotic Subtext”. and i didn’t realize that the teacher was right in front of me until she tapped my desk and goes “it gets better”, told me a page number that i flipped to, and it was Even More Gay and i was like 😏. also she assigned me a gay poet for my poetry project and i talked about that for my whole presentation in front of the class and it was the biggest paragraph in my essay and i got 100% on it even tho i choked at the beginning. also i mentioned in passing that i liked sappho and she goes “ooh i love sappho” i’m like “ma’am please leave this cult and get you a gf”
i left the cult finally. went to the one school i actually liked. i made friends who actually like me and they were patient and they were amazing and i love them all very much even if i’ll never tell them. my classmates were great, v friendly, i had a great time. however,
so many fires. school got cancelled like five times bc of how bad the fires were
the school shooting. i don’t think i need to go further into that, it’s pretty self explanatory
covid. again, don’t need to go further into that, v self explanatory
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Hi :3 Can I request an Ikesen matchup??♥️🍡
I’m ~164cm,straight, slightly chubby and have long straight brown hair and I have darn brown eyes c:. I’m also a Scorpio, ENTJ or ENFJ and I’m like kinda Slytherin or Ravenclaw.
I’m hardworking, competitive, and ambitious. I’m also quite observant, independent and mature. I would consider myself an ambivert? Cause sometimes I would be really sociable and talkative but sometimes I just want to stay in bed and read a book c:. I’m always cheerful and optimistic and I already look at things positively (like a half full kind of thing). I also can’t hide my emotions well and I’ve been told that how I feel is always written on my face. I also hate people beating around the bush or sugar coating something, I prefer the truth hence me always being blunt. But when I get serious I tend to be scary? Like I wouldn’t tolerate anymore bs and I would be extremely blunt and set things straight. People tell me the difference is like night and day. Idk but I know I’m just weird :p
I also have a really weird taste in food, like I can eat a lot of spice and I tend to try weird food combinations even if there is a risk it won’t be nice. And I cook a lot! I also have a sweet tooth so I would always bake different kinds of pastries and sweets.
I really enjoy music, especially singing and playing the guitar! I also like reading (especially fantasy and mythology), drawing in an anime style or creating rotoscope animation and taking notes. I also really like kpop but I’ve been into Japanese music recently. I think I do quite well in school where I always get a 3.5 GPA and above in my subjects (I’m a science stream student so I take bio, chem, math). I really like romance and comedy and I really really REALLY HATE horror movies.
In terms of my emotions I tend to express it when I need to but there are cases where I conceal it and try to smile so that I wouldn’t bother them but at a certain point I’ll just suddenly burst into tears, this usually happens when I’m stressed. But when someone needs help, I would always be there and give a solution first then comforting them later.
So yeah, that’s all :3 I’m sorry it’s kinda messy and long but there’s no rush ‼️ Take care ♥️🍉‼️ And THANK YOU 💖🌸🍥
Hi hi, love! ❤🌻Thank you so much for the request! Sorry for taking soooo freaken long with this!😱❤🌻 Hehehe hope you are keeping safe and well and I hope you enjoy this dear! @aashleymayyy 🌻❤🌼
So I match you with………….. Ieyasu
When you arrived in Azuchi, it was as if a hurricane arrived with you. You were cheery and upbeat, quickly making friends with everyone, well all but Ieyasu. You reminded him waaaay too much of Mitsunari, and for that reason, he stayed far away from you. He didn’t need another beam of sunshine shining down on him with their endless optimism and positivity, or so he thought.
The day started out like any other and you were working hard around the castle as per usual. The maid loved working with you as you seemed to introduce them to new improved was of cleaning plus, your hard work motivated them to work even harder, so that work would get done pretty quickly every day.
You made your way to the castle Archive as you have hundreds of times before. You low key was hoping to see Mitsunari there, to discuss the new book you had been reading. You were so lost in thought as you walked through the hallway that you bumped straight into Ieyasu. The pair of you went tumbling down onto the floor, with him having broken your fall, as you were now on top of the prickly porcupine. This was the first time you had ever seen his eyes, big vibrant green eyes widened when he realized that the two of you were nose to nose. You couldn’t hide the blush spreading over your face. Even though Ieyasu avoided you like the plague, you couldn’t help but be attracted to him, there was just something about him that had you captivated.
None of you made an attempt to move, both of you blushing furiously, when all of a sudden Masamune appeared out of nowhere and started teasing the two of you, “Wow Ieyasu if I knew you would move this quick to win the lass’ affections, I would have pounced long ago, oooh well I guess I will just have to steal her away from you then,” he said with a wink. You didn’t think it was possible to go any redder. You looked back at Ieyasu apologetically, and as you moved to get up, you lost your balance spraining your ankle.
Ieyasu simply let out a long sigh, “geeez first you pushing me down on the ground and now you go around hurting yourself, just how clumsy can one person be.” Before you could quip back, he picked you up and carried you to his manor. He couldn’t help but give a slither of a smile, as one look at your face gave away your every thought. He gently placed you down on his futon and started gathering up herbs to make you a salve for your ankle, to soothe the pain and swelling. As he was treating your injury, your eyes drifted out to his garden, and you couldn’t help but break out into a big smile at the sight of a baby fawn nibbling on the grass outside. You then stuck up a conversation with the porcupine, asking him all about the deer prancing around outside.
After he patched you up, he put on some tea, and the two of you continued to chat over tea. At first talking to Yasu was like talking to a brick wall, but soon he started opening up a little, which made you beam in delight.
The next day you decided to cook something for Yasu as a thank you for patching you up and as an apology for falling on him. Your ankle was feeling good as new when you woke up that morning, so you decided to do your chores and then get cooking. You found Masamune finishing up in the kitchen and decided to ask his advice on the best dish would be to make the resident hedgehog.
You basically skipped your way over to Ieyasu’s manor carrying an array of spicy foods. When Masamune revealed that Ieyasu liked spicy foods you were over the moon, it was not common to find a fellow spice lover. Ieyasu’s maids let you in and led you to his room, you gave a small knock and then entered in. At the sight of you, he rolled his eyes, “don’t tell me you hurt yourself again, also didn’t I tell you to rest your ankle today,” he said in a cold tone although, the look of concern in his eyes definitely didn’t escape your observations. Ignoring the blunt tone you sat down in front of him and presented him with the thank you/apology gift. His eyes widened slightly in shock; he didn’t expect you to come all this way to give him a gift.
He grumbled a thank you and put on some tea. The two of you sat and sipped on tea, enjoying the spicy food together. As you sat and ate, you spotted an array of mythological fantasy books on Ieyasu;s bookcase. You were buzzing in excitement. Ieyasu simply blushed and looked away, reading fantasy books was a bit of a guilty pleasure for him, “you can come over and borrow them sometime if you like them that much, but you better not tell the others or else.”
In the weeks to follow you spent more and more time at Ieyasu’s manor, it was just so quiet and peaceful there, and his room always radiated a warm, comforting aura. Often you would sit quietly in his room and read his collection of books. This had become such a regular occurrence that you have even claimed a spot in his room as your own, it was the spot on a comfy yellow chair in front of a big window overlooking the garden.
When Ieyasu needed a break, he would make the two of you some tea or the two of you would go out to a teahouse for some sweets and tea. Through all this time spent together, you got to know Yasu a bit better.
You loved his blunt, truthful personality. He would say things as they are, without sugar-coating it. Yes, he was contrary, but you had soon come to find out that it was just his defence mechanism, and thanks to your observational skills, you could easily decipher what he was thinking.
Ieyasu loved that that expressive face of yours. He loved the way your thoughts and emotions flickered across your face like lighting. What did Ieyasu also find incredibly amusing during your time together, well that would be your weird food combinations.
Often after spending the day reading at his manor, it would get too late to go back to the castle, so Ieyasu set up a room just for you. Which meant the two of you would have dinner together. You loved to cook so even when you would have your meals at the castle you would always insist on cooking your own foods. Ieyasu, after writing his last report, would find you in his kitchen cooking up some weird creation. He usually can’t help the small smile forming on his lips as he watched you. Most days he would sit on the counter top or simply pull up a chair and watch you cook keeping you company. He would always laugh when a weird combination would fail, and you would pull the funniest of faces at the vile taste.
Ieyasu loved your cooking and would always eat up everything with that faint smile on his face. If it truly was a flop, he would laugh and let you know his honest opinion, causing both of you to laugh and then cook up a different dish together. Speaking of cooking Ieyasu always has something sweet on hand when he knows you are coming over for a visit or to read. He has come to realize you have a sweet tooth and will be sure to present you with different sweets or pastries during each your visits. Even though he doesn’t have much of a sweet tooth, he will always indulge in the delicious pastries you make for him.
Truth is, the more this boy spent with you the more he fell utterly and entirely in love with you. He loved that you could relate to him with regards to being ambitious and competitive.
Your optimism and warm, cheerful personality actually helped him to heal and grow from his past traumas. You had quickly become the bright light in his dark word, your endless amounts of optimism pulling him out of the pit of despair and back into the sunshine. You had shown him that there was strength in love and positivity, and lately, he had found himself smiling like a fool whenever you were around him.
He also loved that you, like him, was rather blunt, although it seemed that you were slightly blunter then him when it came to matters of the heart. Like one day, when you found out that the Oda forces were going off to war, you decided it was time to confess your feelings. Ieyasu came to your room the night before their departure. Honestly, things were getting awkward, so you spoke up, “Ieyasu can we please cut through the bs, I’m just gonna come right out and say it, I freaken love you and well if you don’t feel the same way that okay, but I just…” you didn’t even have time to finisher your sentence when you were suddenly pulled into his strong warm embrace, lips covering your own in a sweet kiss. “Geez with that scary, intimidating face from earlier I thought you were going to tell me you hate me or something,” he joked before pulling you back for another kiss. It was true whenever you would get serious your face would turn scary, not that Ieyasu minded all he cared about at that moment was having the love of his life in his arms.
Whenever Yasu would go off to war you would always sneak in a few small anime style doodles for him to find, to remind you just how much you loved and missed him. You would always be surprised when you would get clumsily drawn doodles back whenever a scout would deliver war reports and updates to the castle.
As the two of you continued into your relationship Yasu couldn’t help but fall more and more in love with you. He loved that you were mature and independent, always there to offer him real and proper solutions to problems before comforting. Even though Ieyasu was slightly shy when it came to his emotions, he instantly knew whenever you were faking a smile or upset. That fake smile could never fool him as he would gently pull you into his arms and in the sweetest of voices, ask you what was wrong. Of course, you would always burst out into tears, as you low key had a tendency to bottle things up. Yasu would simply be there, an ear to listen to your every problem, tenderly stroking your back as you spoke and giving you small sweet kisses as you would tell him you every burden.
With Yasu you can expect loads of sweet cute kisses on the nose and forehead.
Often the two of you cuties are simply sitting together nestled in each other arms, each reading their own book. If the two of you aren’t enjoying a quiet evening in, you are laughing and cooking your new spicing creations together for dinner.
Ieyasu can’t help but thank his lucky stars every night for having met you. Every night without fail as you gently drift to sleep in his arms, he will pull you close to his body and trail small kisses from your head, forehead, nose, eyelids, cheeks and finally lips while whispering in the most tender of voices how much he loves and adores you.
Other potential matches…………….. Shingen
I hope you have the best day! Sending you lots of hugs! ❤🌻🦊
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7, 10, 16!
7) what never fails to put a smile on your face?
sitting outside in the sun and reading a book, scrolling through my phone, or even just watching the birds and whatnot :) (have you ever seen a cat sunbathing? just like that tbh)
10) talk about your favorite teacher?
lol here’s another ramble, hope you don’t mind :P
I have two, but the most recent one was my ochem professor last year.
I hate chem. like, I thoroughly despise it. about once a month, I reconsider my decision to go into medicine because just seeing a hexagon activates my fight-or-flight response. and i’m usually pretty bad at it too – no matter how much I try, all the information I try to learn just goes in through one ear and out the other.
the particular ochem course this professor was teaching was notorious for being the most difficult out of all the chem/ochem/biochem courses a life sciences/premed student at my college has to take. and I didn't do very well in the prerequisite class, so I definitely went into this one scared out of my mind and also prepared to sit through three months of pure hell.
but guys. I don’t know what this professor did or what, but she seemed to sense what resources all her different students would need – in a 300+ class, mind you – and she really went out of her way to personally help as many students as she possibly could: by the end of the course, she was on a first-name basis with nearly everyone.
without going into too much detail (because this can and will turn into an essay, otherwise), I may have been terrified going into the class, but I left with the knowledge that this is a subject that I actually do have the ability to learn and master with just a little practice – and for someone whose confidence was rock-bottom earlier, that was a huge thing. And that’s kind of what I was getting at in my earlier ask as well; I have literally never had a professor care this much about her students (and genuinely don’t believe I will again), but just knowing that an educator believes in you and will do anything to help you succeed really does do wonders for a struggling student.
16) what’s your go-to meal when you feel down?
when I’m at school, probably something super unhealthy and full of carbs and goodness like a frozen lasagna or baked mac & cheese or even cup noodles 😋 now that I’m home, though, I’m getting spoiled w having my mom (and her uncanny ability to sense when I’m in A Mood) around to make limbu rasam (like a lemon/tomato-y broth and rice) or some other Indian comfort food whenever I need it…dunno what I’m going to do when I move back to college, tbh.
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bdsjenskfkskw goodmorning :]
small update on chem boy: i hate how much we get along. last night he told me “i’m not going anywhere” and i wasn’t even exactly worried about him leaving in the first place (tho i will admit it was 1am and i was word vomiting to him about how we’re complete opposites and how that scares me bc there’s never been anyone like him in my life before) and i think i might have to marry him if he doesn’t stop. also he literally has to ignore my texts in order to sleep because apparently i KeEp DiStrAcTinG hiM and hes staying up way later than usual bc of me. smh
how are you? :O i haven’t been active like. at all. and i am so sorry hdjsndsnw did you watch the newest haikyuu episode because i screamed sm for hinata anyways how’s the boba over in cali? bfksenks btwbtwbtw you should get passionfruit flavored boba next time. or lychee. there’s no reason lol they’re just some of my favorites and i haven’t had boba in forever LOL also!! also also!!! ONCE AGAIN UR SO PRETTY :) i feel so blessed with ur face hehe,, i hope this weekend was good to you bby!!
omg this chem boy is progressing fast SO BE CAREFUL. IT SOUNDS REALLY CUTE THO AND MAKES ME GO 🥺 BECAUSE IT REMINDS ME A LOT OF HIGH SCHOOL but because of that, again, BE CAREFUL AJFA;JF,, OUT OF PERSONAL EXPERIENCE AKJFAL;FJ. he sounds very sweet tho omg and psh silly boy trying to blame you LMAO this is so cute and is giving me flashbacks to hs ;—;
i’ve been alright! and it’s okay dw about it! i’ve been pretty busy myself, either trying to not get mad at family and getting into a shit show lol so i stick with my sister since she came back home for a bit and we don't spend much time together anymore :p and kinda my brother now since our relationship is getting better,,,,,,,, or else genshin. the childe banner event is going away and i want. him. so. bad. please.
AND YES I LOVE HINATA HE- I’M SO PROUD OF MY SUNSHINE BOY I LOVE HIM SO MUCH HE WAS SO HAPPY AND SUNSHINE ANDKDGKJDKFAJ i love him
AND THE BOBA IS SOOOO GOOD HEH. i had boba like everyday this week it was pretty bad..... and omg, okay i will! LOL probably will end up getting boba tomorrow oops. plus side is now that i don't live on my own on campus i don't have to worry about spending money on either boba or groceries and now my brother buys it all :3c
i HOPE YOUG ET BOBA SOON. and ARLGKFHSJG pls i changed my pfp this morning when i got the chance because i was like,,,,, i don't wanna stare at my face lOL
i hope your weekend was good!!! <3
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HI hello. Ahhh I know the feeling. Yeah same for me quarantine is getting to my brain recently dadsd. Talk and nag all u want I'm here for it lol. One of the worst feelings is feeling tired of all you have to do and being behind etc etc AUGH I HATE IT TOO I GET U. Lol I wanna learn on my own and don't really know what to do. Ily pls take care of yourself :3 How is life other than the pain (I'm suffering while waiting for the mangas AUGH) _cognizant anon
frfr, and when i’m just on my phone chilling, and then i get 60+ notifications all at once bc my professors r posting assignments and creating their office hours on the calendar?? T.T Nnnnnnnnnnnoott tyeetttttt pleassseeee
I LITERALLY HAD A NIGHTMARE LAST NIGHT !! i dreamt that i had a chem exam on the very first day of the quarter (that i was unaware of) and i had completely bombed it bc i didn’t study at all ugh wtf ;__; GIVE ME A BREAK ALREADY
u should buy the genki textbooks!! they teach at a rlly nice pace and everything’s p organized imo + it’s the resource that most universities utilize over here, i think
majority of my break was just me spending time w/ my sis HAHA she fell into genshin hell so i was just aiding her and what not. do uk when ur manga r gonna come? it’s been so long omg and dude ;w;; it’s january... which means, my hq!! nendoroids might ship out soon this month :DDD bokuaka nendoroid rerelease when
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