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#i just really love the sheer wtf of that image and no i will not change it
b0chelly · 4 years
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Your favorite weird old monster illustration is fun as a wallpaper until you whip out your phone to show a coworker something. Don't think they saw anything bc I opened the app up quickly , so I didn't have to explain the snittie thank goodness!
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shigarakisbabyy · 2 years
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Fatgum x chubby male reader headcanons!
Warnings: insecurity, mentions of eating disorder, brief mentions of violence, NSFW at the end, mentions of villain attack
Contents: cooking and eating, cuddles, fluffyness, pet names, romantic nsfw at the end
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Okay this man fucking adores you, no matter what size
More meat on the bones? Hell yeah, the better.
He definitely knows what it’s like to be picked on for being fat, he will always be there to help you *cough* murder the person *cough* if you get picked on.
If you get insecure over your weight and image, he will 100% be there to reassure you that you’re amazing and handsome and attractive and his super cool boyfriend
Dinner dates are y’all’s favorite
When I tell you that man can COOK
ITS SO YUMMY WTF HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE
FOOD FROM THE GODS
He doesn’t ever get insecure about his image really, but on the rare days when he does you’re there to comfort him and love him just as he does for you
He will definitely let you wear his hoodie. It’s so big it makes you feel so smol
He loves picking you up, do not fight this man. He will do it. No if’s ands or buts
If you say that you’re too heavy, that will only increase his desire to do it tenfold
He truly does not care about your size or how squishy and soft you are. He 100% thinks it’s cute and amazing and makes you irresistibly handsome :)
This man Loves resting his head on your tummy or thighs while you play with his hair. And maybe ur butt
So much cuddles. So much.
Since everything in his house is so big because of his sheer fucking size, you feel almost like an ant at his place
Seriously, is that shower twice your height???
Why is his bed so huge my gosh
If you’re recovering from an eating disorder, he will definitely be there to support you and lend you a helping hand on your bad days
If you haven’t eaten that much that day he will definitely make sure you eat more. It doesn’t inconvenience him, mans always snackin on something
He definitely gives you food pet names
If you encounter a villain at all he is there within minutes and getting you away immediately
If ur also a pro hero he definitely teams up with you all the time and tries to work the same shifts as you
Because of his job he hardly ever has much free time, but when he does you best believe it’s spent on an incredible date night with you
And if you wanna chill at home, that’s super cool too. Man doesn’t care
He will definitely have you meet Kirishima and Tamaki and introduce you as his husband even if he hasn’t popped the question or let alone actually gotten married yet
If you have trouble finding clothes, he will pay to have clothes specifically tailored to your body
If anyone else flirts with you he does get jealous, but then starts agreeing with them and talking about how cute you are
Even if you’re RIGHT THERE
LKE SRSLY BRO HAVE U NO SHAME
He’s a simp, what can I say
OKAY NSFW TIME
This man is definitely more into fluffy sex. None of that kinky stuff really. He just wants to love you and make you feel good
I feel like he definitely does have a thing for honorifics tho
He will be gentle
Will not deny he enjoys the sight of your cock bouncing on your cute tummy when he fucks into you though
You don’t even bother with topping most nights, he’s so much bigger than you it’s insane.
He definitely loves when he sucks you off and your thighs squeeze around his head.
He WORSHIPS the view of your ass jiggling when y’all fuck
There’s definitely a lot of “I love you’s” involved
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makeste · 3 years
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save no matter what.
so this is going to ultimately be a post about Deku. however, if you’ll be so kind as to indulge me, I would like to start things off by making a point about Bakugou. specifically, I’d like to point out that back in the day before this kid got Character Development no Jutsu’d, people weren’t always so inclined to view his attitude towards winning in the best light. which is a nice way of saying that he came off as unhealthily obsessed, not to mention more than a little unhinged.
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sorry for the image spam btw, I just think they’re funny. he’s so demented lmao. KILL DIE CRUSH.
anyway so we’re gonna do the rest of this below a cut before it gets long. but I promise it really is a Deku post lol. don’t let the pre-readmore stuff fool you. I PROMISE THERE IS A POINT, AND WE WILL GET TO IT.
anyway! so yeah, we really didn’t have the best impression of Bakugou’s whole winning fixation at the beginning there. and I mean, it’s not like we had the best impression of Bakugou himself at the start of things either. we were already primed from the very first chapter to see this kid as an adversary to Izuku. the story goes out of its way to paint him in pretty much the worst light possible. which is why what happens next is so interesting.
because one might see all this and think, “holy heck, this kid is off the shits, somebody needs to set him straight pronto and get it into his head that winning isn’t everything.” because that’s almost the natural conclusion to draw. “look at this kid, he doesn’t care about helping other people at all, all he cares about is winning, someone needs to come along and show him that he’s got it backwards.”
except that’s not what happens, is it? because this is where, much to my delight, Horikoshi came along and started subverting expectations. because not only is Katsuki not rebuked for being so obsessed with winning -- it’s pretty much the exact opposite.
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the one and only time Deku ever straight up hands Katsuki’s ass to him is when he says he doesn’t want to win. Deku is IMMEDIATELY all, “THE FUCK KIND OF BULLSHIT DID I JUST HEAR OUT OF YOUR TRASH MOUTH,” and that’s when he sets him straight.
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the important people in Katsuki’s life never tell him, “hey you need to cool it with the whole winning thing.” All Might and Aizawa never scold him for it, or tell him that he shouldn’t try with everything he has to win, or that wanting to win is a bad thing. on the contrary, they both commend him for it. and ultimately, he’s told by All Might that this desire is actually one of the two fundamental qualities that every great hero needs.
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he completely turns the whole thing on its head. not only is it not a bad thing, it’s actually crucial. essential. because what the desire to win really is, at its core, is tenacity. it’s the fiercest kind of determination. it’s not something he should be ashamed of; it’s something that sets him apart, something that makes him worthy. he is someone who refuses to back down no matter what. refuses to give up, no matter what. and this quality, which is initially misunderstood by some to the point where even the villains mistakenly take him for one of their own in the making, is eventually validated to the fullest degree by the person that Katsuki looks up to the most. his desire to win goes from being this awkward “son wtf are you doing” thing to being one of the core philosophies of the series. and ever since then, we pretty much don’t question it.
so why do I bring this up now? well, the answer to that can basically be summed up in one word.
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“parallels.”
so here’s the thing. there’s been a lot of talk lately about Deku’s ridiculous, reckless, and absurdly self-destructive desire to save others while having little to no regard for himself. currently he’s lying in a hospital bed, having broken approximately 218 out of the 206 bones in his little hero body (yes, somewhere along the way he found an additional dozen bones to break). it is worrying. it is Concerning. and it’s raised a lot of questions, such as “???” and “wtf is this idiot doing.”
and a lot of people have been pretty critical of him! this is, of course, an ongoing thing with this child, and people have been giving him grief over it going as far back as chapter 6.
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while others have been bothered by it going even further back than that.
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and I’ve seen these sentiments being echoed pretty frequently in the fandom as well. and there are basically two talking points that I want to address here. the first is the idea that Deku’s aggressive brand of selflessness stems from an inherent lack of self-worth. in other words, because he prioritizes other people’s safety and well-being above his own, and is willing to go to such drastic lengths to save them, there’s this feeling that he doesn’t value himself enough, that he must not care about himself.
but I don’t think that’s quite it. let’s go back to those parallels first, though. let’s take another look at Kacchan.
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what I mainly want to call attention to is the intensity here. again, it’s something that at first strikes most readers as being absurdly over the top. the truth is, I think a lot of people simply can’t relate to it. Katsuki cares about winning with a ferocity and a fervor that most people, for better or worse, simply don’t have. I certainly don’t, lol.
but he does. to him it’s not a shallow, superficial thing at all. it’s important to him, perhaps the most important thing. I think we often talk about it in terms of it being a desire, but imo a more accurate way to define it is not as a want, but as a need. in other words, it’s the opposite of the question “what is it this character wants” (i.e. “what is it they can’t live without”)? instead, it’s a question of “what is it they don’t want” (i.e. “what is it they can’t live with”)?
and in Katsuki’s case, the thing he can’t live with is feeling like he hasn’t tried his absolute best. he needs to give his all in everything he does. he wants to win, but winning just on its own is not enough.
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it has to be earned. he has to prove to himself and to everyone else that he deserves it. anything less than that is unacceptable. anything less than that, and he can’t be at ease. he can’t be settled. he can’t rest. and so he puts everything he has into winning, even if it means going to extremes. because it’s that important to him.
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it’s something that’s at times alarming and even disturbing for others to witness. but nonetheless, it’s a part of who he is, and at the end of the day his teachers accept that, and the story acknowledges that it’s his greatest strength.
so now, to finally bring this back around to Deku, this is what I keep seeing in his character as well. only in his case, the thing he can’t live with is knowing that he didn’t do everything he possibly could to save someone. or to put it another way, Deku, at his core, is someone who cannot rest until he knows that everyone is safe. simple as that. it’s not just a desire to protect people; it’s a need. he needs to know that everyone is safe and protected. otherwise he can’t be at ease. it’s no different from how normal, everyday people aren’t able to feel at ease unless they know that they are safe and that their loved ones are safe. it’s just that in Deku’s case, this same fundamental need extends to everyone, not just himself and his friends and family. everyone. he can’t live with himself knowing that someone was in trouble, and he had the ability to do something to help, but didn’t. and so, if you literally can’t live with not doing something, you basically have no choice but to do it.
and this is what in my opinion defines Deku’s character. Kacchan, in trying to understand it, noted that Deku doesn’t seem to take himself into account. but I think OFA Prime summed it up a little more accurately. “he rages for the sake of others. for them, he does his best until he can do no more. this young man is possessed by a drive to save others that eclipses all common understanding.”
so yeah. it’s not that he doesn’t care about himself at all, it’s that he cares about others even more. he has that same intensity and ferocity towards saving people that Katsuki has towards winning. and just as it was difficult at first for fans to understand Katsuki’s feelings, it’s hard to fathom the sheer depth of that “save everyone” feeling that compels Deku to break his own body in that pursuit. it’s scary, not to mention extremely destructive and dangerous. and so really, it was almost inevitable that there would be some backlash.
but just like Katsuki’s desire to win was ultimately validated in the end, I think Deku’s desire to save others will be as well. in fact it already is being validated, for starters by the other denizens of OFA, led by Lil Bro as mentioned above. let’s go back for a moment to that same scene.
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here we get a huge hint that “Deku gets taken down a notch and chewed out and scolded for his recklessness” is not, in fact, the direction that the story is going in. because in general, when the main villain starts mocking the hero and saying that they’ve done something wrong, that’s a very good sign that said hero is actually on the exact right track. like, no offense, but as far as character critiques go, AFO is probably the least qualified person in the entire manga to start offering those up lol. so yeah. if AFO is denouncing Deku for something, and OFA Prime is praising him for that exact same thing, I think it’s safe to say that means he is in fact doing something very, very right.
“okay but makeste, he nearly got himself killed and broke all of his arms AND legs and is now lying in a fucking coma,” you say, gesturing emphatically to the last page of chapter 298. “so I mean, that’s all well and good that Wonder Boy has the best of intentions and all that, but at the end of the day he’s only one kid. he literally can’t save everyone, and if he pulls one or two more stunts like this, he’s going to get himself killed.”
and okay, but this here is the other talking point that I wanted to address. because it’s true, Deku does need to learn a specific lesson here. but that lesson is NOT that he can’t save everyone. this is a superhero story, guys -- “you can’t save everyone” is never going to be the underlying message, ever. it’s the OPPOSITE of the message. Deku is the hero because he tries to save everyone. because he doesn’t give up on saving people no matter what. that is literally the core of the story. it has been since the very first chapter.
so then what is it that Deku actually needs to learn here? well, once again, it all comes back to those parallels.
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btw, I really just love how he’s carrying Katsuki there lol. he’s just so done with him.
but anyway. so, the final exam arc. Katsuki initially wants to win at all costs -- but there’s a hitch. because even though he wants to win, he refuses to do so while working with Deku. enter Deku’s left hook, and one impromptu Rival Encouragement Speech later, our boy has thankfully come to his senses.
but here’s the point -- the lesson here wasn’t “you can’t always win.” rather, the lesson that Katsuki needed to learn was that you can’t always win alone.
yeah. so now you can see what I’m getting at here.
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“...on your own.”
that’s the key. this is the one and only thing that Deku actually needs to get into his head. wanting to save everyone is fine! his will to save others has never been a weakness -- it’s been the most admirable thing about him from day one. it’s what makes him strong. it’s why All Might chose him. it’s why OFA has chosen him. it’s what sets him apart, and I firmly believe it’s what will ultimately help him save the day and defeat AFO as well. because what other character would look at Shigaraki Tomura, the person who just impaled his friend and destroyed an entire city, and instinctively reach out a hand to try and save him? and if you don’t think that’s going to wind up being key to the final battle, you and I have very different ideas about this series’ endgame.
Deku’s determination to save everyone isn’t arrogance or futility. it is and always has been his greatest strength. but what he’s missing now, what he needs to learn, is simply to trust. y’all might have seen that theory about the Fourth’s quirk, and why All Might was so hesitant to tell Deku about it. basically, the theory (which is based on an attempted translation of the crossed-out parts of All Might’s OFA notebook) goes that the Spidey Sense was so overwhelming that the Fourth -- whose cause of death was one of the things crossed out -- eventually couldn’t bear it, and went to live alone in the middle of the woods somewhere. and possibly wound up killing himself?? all of which is just speculation right now of course. but it makes sense. and it would certainly explain why All Might, being all too aware of Deku’s self-destructive tendencies, would keep that from him.
but if this is the case, that means it’s clear that the Fourth’s solution didn’t work. “give up and accept that you can’t save everyone” clearly is NOT the answer to be had here.
the answer is trust. trust that his fellow heroes have his back. trust that they’ll be able to help him reach the people he’s not able to reach on his own. trust that they can work together to save everyone. that he doesn’t have to rest the entire world on his shoulders alone.
it’s the one lesson that All Might, his predecessor and his teacher, never learned himself until it was too late. but of course, All Might never had a prickly and determined rival who was ready to step in and deal out some tough love if need be. a rival who, perhaps, just might soon get a chance to repay an old favor.
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“I don’t wanna hear you say you can’t save someone.”
I’m just saying. just as Deku has been watching Katsuki all this time, and admiring his determination to win, and emulating it himself, so has Katsuki recently begun to emulate Deku’s determination to save others. we’ve seen it not just in his recent act of self-sacrifice, but even in little things like his habits and tricks of speech. just like Katsuki is Deku’s image of victory, Deku is becoming Katsuki’s image of saving others.
and so I’ll bet you anything that if Deku ever starts to doubt himself, or starts feeling like his dream and desires are futile, Kacchan will be there to set him straight with a good old fashioned Rival Encouragement Speech of his own. possibly with his own left hook to match, though his left shoulder is currently out of sorts atm so he might need to modify that approach a little bit. but the point is, he’ll be there. and he will not allow Deku to give up on himself. he will be there to remind him that he doesn’t have to face this alone.
so yeah! finally managed to wrap up my giant Deku meta which I’ve been working on for ages and rewritten like fifteen times lmao. just in time for this to be relevant for all of a day, probably, depending on what happens once chapter 279 drops lol. but yeah. tl;dr, local boy tries to do too much, but his heart is in the right place, and hopefully all he really needs is a good pep talk from his tsundere bff to set him to rights again. r.i.p. to the Fourth, but he’s different.
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scatterpatter · 3 years
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Critical Role Characters by someone who knows next to nothing about CR
Under the cut because Aye
So context: I really wanna start watching Critical Role, albeit I'm intimidated by the sheer length of it, but I realized I've been spoiled to... Almost nothing about this series or the characters, so why not joke around and guess as much as I can about the Mighty Nein ;D
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This is Caleb!!! I forgot his name earlier but I HAVE seen content of him before. He's the edgy one. He has some kind of tragic backstory and I think caused his parent's death or something? Definitely has to do with his fire magic. Cat person. Like seriously he's the token edgelord from what I've seen. Probably the "You look happy? Who are you and what have you done to Caleb" character. Probably needs a nap. And therapy. Definitely therapy if your fanarts are anything slightly accurate to the plot.
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I thought it was Fyord but turns out it's Fjord. I'm good at spelling pls believe me. I think this one's the "I CAN kick your ass if I want to, but I have social anxiety" one. Like the big sweetheart trope. Big dork. If I'm wrong this'll be awkward but I'm sticking with it. Probably a fighter or barbarian? I want to hold his hand.
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I have never seen this person before in my life but apparently she's one of the main characters? "Beauregard", according to the wiki. Well I can't recall any fan content so I'm gonna make assumptions from this image alone: looks like a monk from the art, and boy HOWDY radiates bisexual energy. Cocky, sometimes TOO cocky. Def has that "I can fend for myself" energy. Probably struggled to make ends meet growing up or something like that.
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I forgot her name but "Nott"!!! I've seen fanart of her before, and I'm love. Big "I'm going to cause problems on purpose" energy. Often depicted with bandages so I think she had some kind of tragic back-story. Actually if I remember fanart right, didn't she used to look something more human-ish and was like? Cursed to be a goblin or something? Had something to do with drowning maybe??????? Don't hold me to this. I was gonna guess rogue but this gear looks more ranger-esque. "I cause problems but I DO adore my friends more than anything" energy
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JESTER!!! One of the few whose names I didn't have to check the wiki for! Baby girl baby! WILL fuck you up if you deserve it but prefers to take a more peaceful route energy. Ray of sunshine. Probably a cleric. I want to protect her with my life. If I get into this series and find out she's secretly evil I WILL ragequit. I want to platonically date her so much oh my god she's so CUTE
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"Yasha", I've seen her name before but didn't remember. HELLOOOOO LGBT COMMUNITY. This is the one that wlw's go feral over. And I can see why. Pretty lady. Strong lady. 11/10. Probably some type of warrior- maybe a barbarian or fighter?... Fjord is one of those two and she's the other, is my guess. Looks scary but probably a big softie. Probably has some kind of curse with those wings- probably necromancy related. Probably raised in a tribe or community with strong warrior-aspects, judging by how combat-expert she looks and her tattoos
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"CADUCEUS"!!! Sorry I forgot your name. THE CONFIRMED ASEXUAL HI!!!! Beautiful boy, 11/10. I adore him with all my heart. Looks like a druid. Transition goals. Didn't show up in the very beginning I think. I actually know nothing about his personality. I mean c'mon there's no way you're NOT a big dork if you dress like that. Has big "I've known the Mighty Nein for 10 minutes but if anything happened to them I'd kill everyone in this room and myself" energy. Maybe. Idk he's just perfect.
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WHO THE FUCK IS VETH AND WHY ARE THEY ON THE SAME WIKI PAGE AS NOTT-... Ohhh. Oh I was right about remembering something about Nott being cursed, wasnt I? This is pre-curse Nott isnt it? Welp! Still has that "im going to cause problems on purpose" energy andhdjanxnc- i was about to guess that Nott fell through a sheet of ice and that's how she drowned(?), but then I realized this art is specifically from a "winter" series oop.... Prediction: Veth took the name Nott after probably not wanting to show her face around her family(?) once she transformed into a goblin. I Just Think She's Neat
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THIS IS THE TIEFLING THAT LIKE DIED OR SOMETHING BUT IN RECENT MONTHS CAME BACK... OR SOMETHING. IDK. ALSO DRIVES THE LBGT COMMUNITY WILD. YOU GO "MOLLYMAUK" I BELIEVE IN YOU. They are... So cute wtf. I don't even know what to say. I can see why the LGBTs love them. Heck.
Fun fact! I know NOTHING about the plot! Other than the fact that there was not once but TWICE that the Mighty Nein ploymorphed something into a turtle but that turtle was also v threatening so they had to change it into something else. Beautiful.
Why are they called the Mighty Nein? The heck if I know! Cuz there sure ain't 9 of em so that pun doesn't add up! Probably something plot related. Who knows. I've been told my haircut sometimes looks like Matt Mercer's and I'm not sure if that's a compliment but I'll take it as such.
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katieskarlette · 2 years
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A stupid, pointless skit in which my mage gets off her butt and tries to “fix” recent lore (especially the Arthas thing) through the power of sheer frustration, a prop from a different IP, crappier image edits than usual, and a blatant disregard of logic that even eclipses Blizzard’s
Somewhere in Dalaran, my mage, Skarlette, has been quietly minding her own business since shortly after 9.1 launched.  Catching up on her reading, letting Murky play in the fountains, failing to organize her bank, and just generally ignoring anything going on in the Shadowlands.
Now I’m imagining her giving a weary sigh, setting aside a yellowed tome of magic, and heading off to Zereth Mortis.  She marches into the Sepulcher during the newest cinematic, looking thoroughly fed up.
“Champion, where have you been?” Uther asks.  “We could have used your help in the Sanctum of Domination.”
"Never mind that.  What the hell is going on here?  I can’t leave you guys alone for a single patch without everything falling to pieces.”
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Skarlette stomps up with one of those spirit-catching vacuum things from Ghost Busters and sucks up what’s left of Arthas into a box.  
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She turns to Sylvanas and tries to point at her, but the author only has access to WoWhead model viewer at the moment and can’t figure out how to unequip her weapon, so pointing makes her also whack herself in the face with her fiery staff.  It is just as uncomfortable as you imagine. 
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Recovering quickly, she says, “You.  Go find Nathanos and then make yourself scarce for awhile until the discourse quiets down.”
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She next turns to Uther and Jaina.  “You two, come with me.  There’s a pod in my conservatory in Ardenweald with Arthas’ name on it, but the three of us will have to grind out a few million anima to grow his soul back.”  
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As you can see, they are not looking forward to that.  That’s a lot of daily quests.
Skarlette then stomps further into the raid and screams in the general direction of Zovaal, “And you, Mister ‘I Show More Nipples Than Characterization’, can just go away and not come back until you’ve developed a personality and a master plan that doesn’t involve a degree in quantum physics to understand.  You are a bad villain and you should feel bad.”  
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Zovaal cries a little bit, but nobody can tell under the helmet.
Skarlette then makes a portal to Oribos and physically shoves a confused Jaina and Uther through it.  
They plant the wisp of Arthas’ soul in Skarlette’s night fae garden and feed it anima until he’s whole again, then drag him before Pelagos to be properly judged.  
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He ends up in Revendreth, naturally, and after a few centuries of grueling atonement and hilarious shenanigans with Kael’thas he can join Uther in Bastion, where they train new Kyrian together.  When Jaina dies they can find a lovely little cottage somewhere in a part of the Shadowlands that doesn’t completely suck and (un)live happily ever after.  
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The End
...
I don’t know wtf this turned into but I have a headache and I wanted to make a comic but WoW Model Viewer isn’t working for me and rather than troubleshoot it I decided to crank out this stupid skit with WowHead, Google images and stuff I had already made instead and I’m sorry but not really because damn it if Blizz can write dumb plots that make no sense then so can I nyah
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jokerfan99 · 3 years
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My Top 10 Favorite Anime Villains (Updated) by DarkChild316
In a different time and a different world, I did a list of “My 10 Favorite Anime Villains”. I am older now, and hopefully much wiser and now thanks to the global pandemic and my new subscriptions to Hulu and Funimation I’ve had the opportunity to go back and revisit so many classic anime that I feel like I should re-do it. Plus I’ve gone back and looked at my previous list and shook my head thinking to myself: “My God man, what in the f**k were you thinking with some of these choices!” So, I’ve gone back and redone the list, now this list is strictly for the men only. If you want to see a list dedicated to my favorite female villains, check out my list of “My Top 10 Favorite Anime Villainesses.” But for this list, here is my updated list of My Top 10 Favorite Anime Villains:
#10. Shishiho Makoto (Rurouni Kenshin): Growing up as a kid, Ruroni Kenshin was one of the first anime I had ever watched, and this guy was someone who I hated with a passion. Looking back at it years later, I realize now what an amazing villain and foil to Kenshin that Makoto was. Unlike a lot of villains on this list, Makoto wasn’t just evil for the sake of being evil, Makoto’s evil came from the worst type of trauma: betrayal! In this case the betrayal came from Makoto’s own government, where Makoto survived not only multiple gunshots, but being doused in oil and burned alive, leaving him in complete and utter agony. What puts Shishio on my list is what he manages to do after surviving death. He compiles an army of the best fighters Japan has to offer and plots to overthrow the entire Meiji Government. While in complete agony. Who else can claim that? Did I also mention he’s topping the list of the best fighters in the show? His swordsmanship is second only to Kenshin himself as he proves in their absolutely epic fight.
#9. Hisoka Morrow (Hunter x Hunter): Hunter x Hunter is a show with several great villains that truly stand out, and while Meruem was memorable, pardon me for believing that Hisoka was the standout villain from that show. A devious killer and master Nen user, Hisoka is driven by little more than his desire to find and kill strong opponents. Be they young children or master criminals, he’ll pursue them to the ends of the Earth with a bloodlust on par with that of a wild predator. Likewise, he doesn’t care what happens to himself or others in this pursuit. Mass civilian casualties, the loss of his own villainous allies or even the loss of his own limbs barely phases him, so long as he gets to fight with someone that tests his limits. As a result, he more often than not embodies chaos incarnate, wreaking havoc in his pursuit of battle and leaving a mountain of corpses behind him. Needless to say, this puts him at odds with the series’ protagonists at regular intervals. Not only do Gon and his friends fit the bill for what he seeks, but they often take on enemies that prove to be exactly what Hisoka is looking for. And yet, this also serves to make him all the more interesting. Where other villains might strike out at the protagonists and heroes immediately, Hisoka schemes, allies himself with and double-crosses people regularly, always finding the best angle to work in order to reach his goals. He may not be a world-ending anime villain on the level of a Meruem with seismic ambitions, but he’s undeniably the most interesting and brilliant villain in Hunter x Hunter to see at work.
#8. Izaya Orihara (Durarara!!): If you think of a list of top anime villains and this guy isn’t one of the first people who comes to mind, please raise your hands so I can have a few words with you in private with no cameras or eyewitnesses. The crazy thing about Izaya is that he doesn’t even realize he’s evil, and that’s what makes him great. He loves humanity; from the depths of his bones he loves us all. This is why he makes it onto my list; he does progressively more cruel acts against humans, putting people in situations that generally lead to their deaths. He is also a master of parkour and highly skilled with a switchblade in his hand (as evident in the above picture), which he generally only uses in dire situations or fights against Shizuo. In short, I absoulutely love this guy. I thoroughly enjoyed the way he manages to manipulate an entire populous, and that’s why he’s more than earned a spot on my list.
#7. Dio Brando (Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure): You might have thought it was someone else, but it was me, Dio! All meme-worthy jokes aside, Dio Brando is unquestionably one of the most iconic anime villains of all time and, thanks to his series’ late-blooming popularity outside of Japan thanks largely to the 2012 anime adaptation, one that still feels modern in our minds. Dio is a tenacious bastard that takes advantage of the generosity of the Joestar family to further his own power, being intolerably dickish to Jonathan by constantly tearing him down, trying to make him look bad in front of his dad, spreading rumors to sully his reputation, and sabotaging his relationships. This escalates into killing his dog (his f***ikg dog of all things!), poisoning and later stabbing his adoptive father (I mean WTF!), and becoming a freakin vampire. Even after decapitation, Dio gets his revenge and sets in motion many of the events of the series, making a formal return in Stardust Crusaders as the main villain once again. With raw ambition taken to the extreme, iconic lines, poses, and outfits, incredible abilities from Aztec mask-induced vampirism and the time-stopping power of The World, Dio’s menacing presence towers over his series and over anime as a whole, which makes him MORE than deserving of a spot on my list.
#6. Light Yagami (Death Note): Yes, he’s a VILLAIN, get over yourselves Light Yagami fanboys! Anyway, there are a number of different adjectives and superlatives that could be used to described the lead character of Death Note: Diabolical, calculating, and determined to make the world in his own image all describe Light who was easily the most clever man in  Death Note, as evidenced by the layers upon layers that composed his elaborate plans.  Light started out as a good kid, doing well in school and heading to a bright career in police work like his father. But when he gets possession of the death note, he begins a remarkable descent into a disturbing mastermind who becomes judge, jury, and executioner for the entire world. But what truly makes Light's character stand out remains complicated throughout the story. His ultimate goal is to make the world a happier, safer place; a noble but perhaps misguided goal. His idealism and nobility still shine through when he doesn’t have the Death Note. When he temporarily relinquishes ownership of the death note to throw L off his trail, Light loses all memory of the death note and he reverts to his normal personality. His sense of morality returns and he shows more compassion for those around him. He even refuses to use Misa Amane to get information out of her when L asks him to. These qualities help to create a complex character who ends up being a detestable villain, yet you still kind of root for him to come out of this story as a winner. Light’s progression through the series is marked by his sheer brilliance. He's got a calculated and strategic mind that would make the great philosopher Machiavelli jealous, and the power of the death note adds a callousness that makes him free to use people in whatever way necessary to accomplish his goals. It’s highly entertaining to see his intricate plans play out. But Light’s messiah-like ego is just as big as his brain, and that arrogance ultimately leads to his tragic downfall.
#5. The Major (Hellsing): An evil Nazi Scientist, I know everyone is just rolling their eyes right now thinking I’m reaching for the low-hanging fruit for this one, but just hear me out here. While he may seem like an obvious pick for a list like this, The Major’s goals, however, are somehow far more unhinged than what may first appear. Despite being an impassioned orator and uncompromising strategist willing to sacrifice countless soldiers, the Major himself had no especial loyalty or passion for the cause of Millennium. His sole obsession is to plunge the world into an unending conflict to the point of endangering not only the lives of others but also his own. The Major’s leadership of Millennium, his decades espousing the genocidal ideology of fascists, and subsequent war against the Hellsing organization, the Vatican, and the entire world serve only as a pretext to satiate his insatiable bloodlust. The Major is one of anime’s most insidious villains, a charismatic, nihilistic sociopath driven purely by his sadomasochistic death wish.
#4. Shou Tucker (Fullmetal Alchemist): Now, you may be recalling that in my previous version of this list, I had Envy listed as my choice as my favorite villain from this show. Well after careful reconsideration, I’ve had to reevaluate my decision and give that spot to this creep, because while Envy’s actions were despicable to a point, they PALE in comparison to this guy! He only really appears in one episode if I remember correctly, yet in that one single episode, he made more of an impact then most villains make in a lifetime, which really says a lot about this guy’s character. What was it that made him so memorable you ask? Well, it could have something to do with the fact that this man transmutaed his own dog and daughter to create a talking chimera, which hadn’t been done before, and for what other reason…all in the name of recognition in the world of alchemy! That mere fact alone made this guy the most hated man in all of anime, the fact that he sacrificed his own family for the sake of fame, with absolutely no hint of remorse, made this guy the definition of an absolute living piece of shit and the only thing worse is how the episode ended, but I won’t spoil that one for you if you haven’t seen it.
#3. Gendo Ikari (Neon Genesis Evangelion) Up next is a man competing with the likes of Medusa Gorgon for the title of “Anime’s Worst Parent”, Gendo Ikari, please step up to the front of the congregation. Now Gendo is a man who’s list of atrocities throughout Evangelion is far too many to name, but I’m going to try my best to list them here: You have being actively complicit in the premature instigation of a biblical apocalypse, resulting in a near extinction-level event that caused the death of nearly two-thirds of the human population. Emotionally neglecting his own son Shinji estranging himself from him for over twelve years, only to offer him up as a sacrificial pawn in his bid to artificially bootstrap humanity’s ascent into evolutionary godhood so that he could be reunited with his dead wife. Cloning said wife’s DNA into a harem of emotionally dependent albino ingenues who share a dogged infatuation for their creator. And that’s not even mentioning the horrific emotional abuse and mental manipulation he inflicts on Dr. Ritsuko Akagi and her mother Naoko. All-in-all Gendo is proof positive that love not only has the capacity to overcome any obstacle, but sometimes it can truly make monsters out of us all.
#2. Griffith (Berserk): Griffith did nothing wrong; at least, not by his own drives and ambitions. A peasant who grew to become the leader of his own mercenary band, Griffith was a self-driven man who pursued his desires with unparalleled efficiency. No matter the situation or obstacle, he found a way to overcome them, whether that meant facing down an army of thousands or assassinating a country’s leaders. All the while, he amassed a legion of friends and followers who would follow him to hell and back, caring for him as much or more than he cared for them. As a result, they were dragged down with him when his ambitions saw him imprisoned, tortured and maimed. They cared little though, risking life and limb to save him and help him salvage a life with what he had left. That wasn’t enough for Griffith though. When given the option to become a demon and continue the pursuit of his dreams, he whole-heartedly accepted it; even though it came at the cost of sacrificing the lives of each and every one of his friends and allies. But that wasn’t the worst of it, to further spite the early desertion of Guts, Griffith proceeds to rape Casca, Guts’ love interest, in front of him as Guts is held down by demons. So yes, Griffith did nothing wrong by himself. By everyone else though, he did them the worst of injustices, and continues to do so with each breath he takes, all of which makes him a compelling and infuriating villain.
#1. Johan Liebert (Monster): I’ve covered a wide variety of monsters (pun fully intended) on this list, but THIS monster (again, pun FULLY intended) truly takes the cake when it comes to anime villains. A serial killer who would fit in well in any blockbuster film, Monster told the story of a man who had truly become monstrous; a charismatic, intelligent sociopath with no other goal than to kill everyone else in the world. Johan didn't just kill people, he made other people into monsters just like him. This skill of his corruption is first displayed in his youth, when he used stories to convince the other boys in his orphanage to kill all the staff, and each other. Johan is often compared to Light Yagami of Death Note, but the two couldn’t be any more different. Light's fatal (and genius) flaw is his own ego, which leads him to put his own life above all else, even his goal of changing the world. But Johan has never been afraid of death. Quite the opposite, he welcomes and embraces it, being more than willing to put his own life at risk, and one of his signature traits is how he challenges people to shoot him. Another of Jonah’s signature traits is his skills as a masterful manipulator. Where Light and other on this list had to resort to supernatural means to get what they wanted, Johan just used his own wits and knowledge of human nature. He's easily the most frightening villain on this list because he’s the truest to life villain on this list and he exposes the base human nature of his victims and of human society. Monster's remarkable story was almost entirely due to Johan alone, and it’s why he’s #1 on my list.
So that's my updated list, what did you guys think about it? Love it, hated it? Go on and tell me what you think and let me know who your favorite anime villains are. See you soon!!!
Deviantart: https://www.deviantart.com/darkchild316
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Whiskey/wine drinking buddies with Sauron is the best image I could have of Thuringwethil! Could I now beg some opinions on Finrod, just generally and his relationships with all his various friends?
- Captain Anon
Hi! hope you’re doing well and thanks so much for the asks!!!!
Finrod is the Kindest most amazing child and I love him very much. The following part is about him being Happy. (We are ignoring sad things until the End, or possibly for the void to consume.)
Captain, ‘all his various friends’ is a very dangerous phrase, he has more friends than Maedhros has names because to him everyone/thing is friend shaped. (continues under cut)
We’ve discussed that lovely finwean invincibility and “the only thing that can stop me is god, and even then I only listen to them when they agree with me.” (though I’d revise to add that Indis may be an occasional exception because she’s helped him commit so many Crimes) I believe Finrod’s comes out in the sheer confidence that people will like him and be on his side. I think in the beginning he was also a very sunny and optimistic person (erodes over time but shh we aren’t talking about the sad)
I also think his moral compass is linked on personal loyalties as opposed to a cause. Obvs this shows up when he’s helping Beren but also when he goes to middle earth (I think he goes bc friends, not belief in Feanor but I might be wrong).
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ok specific friends:
Listen idk with whom, but he was definitely buddy buddies with some of the dwarves of the Blue Mountains bc there’s no way he spent however long making a custom cave fortress and also exchanging gems + fancy necklaces and Didn’t.
It’s really funny to me that he’s also one of the first points of contact for men as well. Like Finrod really seems to be going around pioneering the diplomatic relationships among the races.
I believe he would also be close with Maedhros and with Fingon because it says that the three of them often met to take council or whatever, and honestly? all three seem like very social and agreeable people and I can’t imagine them not getting along after having to sit in court, or wherever eldest sons sit during official things, and *not* becoming friends.
Andreth would also be close friends with our boy, I think Aegnor probably showed up at Finrod’s house like “hey wtf do I do with this” and then separately after some meeting or something, Andreth showed up like “hey wtf do I do with this” and yeah sure, they had some nice philosophical discussions as per recorded history but I am Convinced they were a set of friends who just made up really weird ideas for fun. (ex: finding out what branch of government you’d be elected to in order to redraw the Buffalo city country lines in the shape of a buffalo)
Curufin I’ve already talked about, but again I think they were fairly close because they’d end up on the same sorts of trips, and I think Finrod’s generally disarming demeanor would cause Curufin to be a little less… uh… snappy, because Finrod’s not really the type for hidden agendas, being more devoted to the ppl he cares about than to any particular mission.
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Y’all I Cannot express how upset the post Dagor Bragollach field makes me. He’s lost his brothers, he’s got a nephew who’s just lost their parents, Celegorm and Curufin have shown up, his city is in considerable danger for the first time, his brother’s human gf has also presumably died in it, like all together not a fun year. Then we kill his uncle, then we kill his new human bestie Barahir, then freaking Beren shows up with the ring he’d given Barahir trying to get the Stupid gems his brothers just got killed over, and THEN his own COUSINS turn his city against him. Like JESUS what a decade.
oh he also gets captured and killed my sauron but hey at this point…
Anyways, I think the reason he isn’t harsher to Celegorm and Curufin is because he’s just lost a lot of people who were really close to him, and that Belief that good things will happen for good people is really fading away. And I think he has to have wondered if the Cs were right, if his ‘heart on the sleeve’ leadership was what they needed or if it was strong military with Compromises that would get them through. (this isn’t phrased well, but I think you know what I mean)
Also there’s something about him and Fingolfin that like…. going off to challenge a god… one in despair for the people he’s lost and the other in loyalty for the few he has left… 
both being honored martyrs who's graves remain untouched by evil, but in the end made the irresponsible decision to leave their kingdoms?
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unrelated but I think we should appreciate every family has had their turn fighting a god: Finwe himself, Fingolfin for his house, Finrod for the Arafinweans, Celebrimbor for the feanorians
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Anyways, hope that’s what you were looking for!! Thanks so much for the ask, ily!
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arentwelost · 4 years
Text
reactions to the bnha: heroes rising film
spoilers alert !
(i risked coronavirus to go to the cinema for this but no regrets because we all want to die anyway oof-)
the film was very 1a centred & that’s gr8 and all especially since we got to witness the bond they had between them & just. how incredibly amazing their teamwork is
but i really ,,, miss,,, aizawa (my fave, my tru love)
he had a total of 3 (?) scenes, each of them lasting like less than 10 secs - even toshinori had more scenes than that : (
but you know who even had less screen time (aka none),,, our boy,,, the valid purple son,,,, shinsou hitoshi : (
the person who had the most screen time was this new villain called nine and i really wanna yell begone thot at him because he was like “i want to create a utopia where the powerful rules” and i was like thinking,, yo that shit sounds like capitalism & neoliberalism
his character design was really pretty, but it didn’t make up for his ideology that came outta nowhere with no backstory - so it was really hard to empathise/sympathise
what makes a villain good is 1) sufficient backstory 2) being so damn predictable and familiar that you actually prefer them over every other new villain because better the devil you know than the devil you don’t know
anyway, what really slaps is kacchan’s fuckin character development !!
lil gremlin is still gremlin but ,, he’s working with other kids,, he’s minimising damage done to the area while fighting villains,, there was a scene of him all calm and shit while eavesdropping on izuku and katsuma (which once again proves that most of his anger is just a front he puts up in front of other people rather than a perpetual state, and ya know what, i love that introvertedness that he has),,, him being protective over the bakusquad and not blasting kaminari for teasing him,,, he and izuku fighting together like a hero duo ,,,, eye-
this movie really said bakugo character development hUH
anyway in the beginning when endeavour showed up and dabi and endeavour had this whole showdown with their fire quirks and we got this close up of endeavour’s thicc thighs and i was like :           ) we don’t stan for this here but at the same time i was like @ hawks damn ur daddy really be like that, huH
which reminds me of my whole spiel about dabi/hawks and endeavour/hawks : ‘ ) 
but yea. dabi was unfairly attractive and i just want death to consume me
okay so the plot was like,, the hero commission (aka the dodgy ass institution): how about sending the 1a kids to an island where there are no active heroes ??
so the 1a kids get yeeted off to an island,, and they are having fun helping the locals out !! (this is the wholesome content we all deserve)
jirou and yaomomo asdgjhskgjahkj
kacchan who stays at home the entire day because he’s on ~villain duty~ and there weren’t any villains so he just sits at home and read manga asdfghjkl that’s a hard Mood
kirishima looking like the cutie he is eye-
the bakusquad teasing kacchan by calling him “kacchan of bakugo”
how is maharo & katsuma so damn cute *angery fists*
but izuku really be adopting children left and right hUh
dadmight and dadzawa whomst i only know dadku
ochako & tsuyu are so cute wtf eye-
these villains are overpowered af wtf
wow i love 1a having each other’s backs their teamwork,, was ,,, so good,,, so smooth ,,, (*whispers* poly 1-a anyone ??)
everyone be losing until kacchan comes blasTing in, saving kirishima & kaminari with sheer determination and stubbornness and manages to defeat one (1) villain
not going to lie though i feel like mummy got done dirty like that
but i like the little nod to the provisional exam arc
the inflated izuku mahoro projected was the Cutest
anyway what really clapped was you know,, both izuku and kacchan being the smort cookies they are: “DIDN’T I TELL YOU THAT ONCE I’VE SEEN YOU USE IT, I HAVE A WAY OF COUNTERING IT?!" 
like oof
also i love how izuku is established as the image of hope (the saviour) and kacchan is established as the image of victory (the victor) - this whole “win to save” and “save to win” really got laid down really heavily
but we’re all hoes for that i guess
touga in her winter gear !!! eye-
yaomomo delivering the Goods (i.e. the cannons) 
a o y a m a : (
the moment i realised that tokoyami was in the cave, i knew the villain there was Done For 
i haven’t forgotten our resident eldritch abomination, dark shadow, y’all
i just ?? love ?? mina ???? so much ??????
ngl i didn’t know chimera was literally a chimera until this part i just thought he one big furry
oof
that flashback to endeavour’s advice when shouto was fighting chimera ?? the symBoLisM wow
shouto being able to rationally separate endeavour the hero and endeavour the shitty dad & using the advice endeavour gave him to empower himself -
- wipes tears
sero and ochako getting blasted away really badly by nine,,, and izuocha happens but we’ve all seen that before
it is kacchan,, ,, being protective of sero when he got yeeted,,,,, that is the Point 
THE BEST PART ABT THE SECOND LAST FIGHT WAS LITERALLY BKDK BEING SO IN SYNC WITH EACH OTHER’S MOVES THAT THEY WERE FIGHTING LIKE A HERO DUO ??
LIKE IZUKU KICKING THE VILLAIN, REBOUNDING OFF THE SHIELD,, AND THEN FLYING OFF JUST FOR KACCHAN TO GRAB IZUKU’S HAND AND FLING HIM BACK AT THE VILLAIN FOR A SECOND ATTACK
THE WHOLE HANDHOLDING THING IS STARTING TO COME OUT AS A MOTIF
AND I JUST WOW ,,, BKDK,, (platonic or romantic or otherwise) OUT HERE,, HOLDING HANDS AS EQUALS,,, SYMBOLIC OF THEIR CHANGING RELATIONSHIP,,,,
s h o u j i : ( protecting mahoro and katsuma with his body : ( big cuddle boy doesn’t deserve this pain !!!
don’t think i didn’t notice the film using the same bgm as the kamino rescue
it draws such a powerful parallel ??  back then it was kacchan who needed to be ‘saved'  but now it’s kacchan doing the saving & the winning - once again, such character development asdfghjkl
this film,, making me appreciate kaminari 10x more
also fellas is it gay to stare at your rival and being able to communicate non-verbally
bkdk detroit smashing the storm together & making a damn fucking hole in the stratosphere like all might,, dispelling the damn storm and letting sunlight filter in ?? that was some really obvious symbolism but regardless,,,, wow
this is the part where the whole twin stars motif really came right in kicking our houses down
kacchan breaking both of his arms because of one for all & all i can think of is ,, izuku,, stop sharing your bone breaking juice with people
i’m just thinking about how people @ izuku: wtf how do you deal with this bone breaking bs all the time
and izuku, pure bean: oh yea haha i thought it was normal ?? like everyone has to get used to their quirks like this ??
a concept: quirkless izuku not understanding how quirks are supposed to feel
anyway, dadmight cradling izuku in his arms only to leave kacchan a metre away ?? favouritism that we’re all here for
izuku : ( apologising : ( for : ( being : ( a : ( bad : ( successor : (
i just want to shake izuku’s shoulders & tell him that he did super well and that he shouldn’t be ashamed of himself and that he deserves everything good in this world
also imagine being so gremlin that all the one for all predecessors were like "nope we’re not dealing with this gremlin child, we prefer the pure broccoli” 
disappointed that hawks didn’t get enough screentime
but we got some hawks & tokoyami and ryuukyuu & ochako time
kacchan ~conveniently~ forgetting what happened ?? i smell something fishy
our local crusty boy shows up & ahh yes, there it is - the close up shot that like to remind us that he needs to Moisturise
everytime i see red shoes on shigs i just think about the parallels between shigs and izuku and my heart breaks all over again
the scene where shouto got hugged super uncomfortably by endeavour ?? oof. the entire cinema just simultaneously laughed and heard the shouuuuutooooo
katsuma being like like “i’m going to become a hero like deku & bakugo !” and kacchan’s acting all cool and shit, telling him “you better” while izuku is like “katsuma, you can become a hero !! we’ll wait for you at ua !!” because he saw himself in katsuma and wanted to be the person he wanted someone to be for him when he was young
breaking my own heart like this
imagine the first years in ten years though
they’re just going to be a bunch of teenagers izuku or 1-a saved or adopted
and they’re going to give aizawa so many more grey hairs than the current 1-a
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musicalluna · 4 years
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love your crappy day fics! Everyone’s prompts’re so good. Crappiness: am taking a stats class with prof from hell. He’s awful at communicating, he’s entirely disorganized, and I took a test more than two weeks ago now and I’m the only one in class who hasn’t gotten my test back or even know what my score is, and now campus is closed and I’m not sure how this class is gonna go cuz he hasn’t emailed any of us so is our class still going online? 🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️ Only prompt I’ve got is fake dating 🧡
ugh. DUDE. GIVE V A GRADE WTF. i hope he figures it out quick
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“Tony, I need you to do me a favor,”Steve says one afternoon after barging into the workshop, apropos ofnothing.
Tony staresharder at the circuit board he's in the middle of placing LEDs into.“Yeahh, I'm kind of busy, Cap, is it a right now kind of thing?”
“I need youto go out with me,” Steve goes on, like he's not even listening.
“And Iliterally just said I'm kind of busy right now.”
“No, Tony,”Steve says, exasperation leeching into his voice, “on a date. Ineed you to go on a date with me.”
The words sinkin after a moment and Tony's hand jerks, the soldering iron skiddingacross the board. “I'm sorry, I think I just had a stroke. Can yourun that by me again?” He twists around to stare at Steve, who'sface is bright pink, his expression steely.
“I need youto go on a date with me,” he repeats, determined. Then he sighs,frustrated. “Everyone has this—this idea of who I am in theirheads. They expect one thing and I'm not that at all.”
Tony staresharder. “And you think dating me will fix that.”
Steve's facewrinkles with a frown. Then he sighs, shoulders drooping. “I justwant people to see that I'm not Captain America. That's not who I am.Not really.”
Tony resiststhe urge to pinch himself, if only because Steve might see.
“Look,” hegoes on, “I don't want to do anything that'll make youuncomfortable, Tony. It doesn't have to be real. I just thought ifpeople thought I was dating you—”
“—you'dkill that goody-two-shoes image of yours with the sheer power of myscandalous reputation?”
Steve winces,which is cute, he thinks he's going to hurt Tony's feelings over astupid thing like that. “I understand if you don't want to. I justthought maybe you... Forget it.”
“No, hangon, stop for a second. I'll do it,” Tony hears himself say.
“You will?”Steve says, cautious.
“Yeah,”Tony says, “why not? It's been awhile since I fucked with themedia's heads.” He grins. “Let's show the world there's more toCaptain America than meets the eye.”
When Stevestarts to smile, the expression breaking over his face like the suncoming up in the morning, Tony knows he's done for.
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bullseyegames · 4 years
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Death, temperance, the devil, the tower, and the star!
death: what are three things you want to do before you die?
- Work on a professional show. Whether it’s as a tour or a broadway show, crew or performer, big or small role. I want to be able to experience the excitement and responsibility of a professional production.
- Find someone who loves me. A romantic love, I don’t say marriage because I know some relationships thrive better without that kind of commitment and I’m totally understanding of that if it’s the case (though I would love to get married some day).
- Learn to play an instrument. Not sure if a kazoo counts at this point. :/
temperance: can you describe a strange dream you’ve had?
OH BOY YALL WANNA HEAR THE WEIRD REOCCURING ONE?
I find myself sitting still in the middle of a street. There’s a woman or man who I never can recognize holding me and comforting me while I stare up at something I never understand and never ceases to terrify me. It’s a metal wire strung between two large buildings. In the center of the wire there’s a woman, the wire is going through her skull and she’s just extremely stiff but very much alive. Behind her is this giant clock that’s ticking, and whenever it hits an hour, the wire tenses and she starts screaming until the clock clicks off the hour. Then she just goes silent and tense again until the hour passes again.
The stranger keeps comforting me, the clock keeps ticking, and I’m just sitting there wondering wtf is going on. Every time I wake up I am just shaking and trembling and have to literally sing myself to sleep to get the image and sound out of my head. I don’t know what triggers this nightmare but I’ve been having it for years.
the devil: do you enjoy thunderstorms?
*peaks out of blanket fort shaking and clutching a teddy bear* t-there’s a thunderstorm?!?!?
the tower: favorite colors to wear?
Orange. Why? Cause I have so many orange clothes and the entire year people think I’m weird, then October shows up and everyone wants to borrow my orange dress or sheer top for a Halloween party. It’s such a feeling of power.
the star: have you ever seen a psychic?
No I haven’t, but I was a volunteer for a magic show! He stuck a nail in my arm and it really hurt. :D
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shooting-the-walls · 5 years
Text
OKAY SO I watched abominable bride for the first time in while. These are the notes I made throughout it
• The whole montage
• ThE thEME tUNe
• Benedict's posher accent
• MRS HUDSON: WE STAN A QUEEN
• The way John says "Holmes": synonymous with "watch it bitch"
• "...abandoned you for an unsavoury companion of dubious morals": SHERLOCK SWEETIE NO
• Mary: ONCE AGAIN WE STAN A QUEEN
• Lestrade needing a fucking drink is such a mood
• Parts of it sound so scripted (e.g the scene in the morgue with Holmes and Watson's first meeting): evidence early on of it being in his mind palace? Sherlock knows it has to go in a certain way, not quite sure how to go about creating such a vivid image? Gets more natural as the episode goes on
• The way Sherlock stops playing the violin so abruptly when John and Mary are arguing: HE'S SUCH A SWEETIE JESUS CHRIST I CAN'T TAKE IT
• "Needs must where the devil drives, Watson"
• "Votes for Women!" "For or against?" "GET OUT." SUCH A QUEEEEEEEN
• "What friend?" "ENGLAND." "....Well that's not very specific" XD
• "Stranger things have happened." "*sigh* Such as?" ".....stranger.... things..?"
• Molly Hooper getting ahead in life YES
• Sherlock being so unaware of how he acts
• *clicks* "COULD IT BE TWINS" (p1)
• "A secret twin?" (p2)
• "IT's nEvER tWiNS"
• "Now that's daddy's gone": OI OI SHERLOCK YOU KINKY LITTLE SHIT
• Sherlock panic-cramming about the Obliquity of the Ecliptic because he wants to impress Mycroft is such a mood
• "Didn't Doctor Watson move out a few months ago"......"That chair is definitely empty" "*sadness* It is isn't it?": SHERLOCK WHYYYYYYY HE LOVES YOU SO MUCH AND YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW IT
• "I shall have a word with my wife to have a word with you": why do I get a feeling that Mary will just high five the servant girl like "Yas queen"
• "We are on our way to see someone cleverer than you" "Shut up"
• THE WHOLE SIGNING SCENE OMG
• THE ELBOW IN THE SIDE XD
• "I am glad you liked my potato" XD
• "Sorry wot" *thumbs up*
• FATCROFT
• Pretty sure this is what Sherlock wants to be able to do with Mycroft in real life: so much banter but he's still such a bitch XD
• *on the enemies": "socialists?" "Anarchists?" "The French?" "Suffragists?" "The Scots?" "Ooo, sounds Serbian"
• Mycroft: "Are there any large body of people you aren't concerned about?"
Watson: NEVER
• I swear to God Watson is all of Holmes' self control XD
• I would have hated being a woman in 1895: imagine wearing a full fucking dress at breakfast!?!?!?!?!?
• I mean talk about low budget creepy horror movie vibes with Lady Carmichael's narrative lol
• Pretty sure the Bride when she's moving is an old Weeping Angel prop from Doctor Who XD
• "Should probably-" "DEFINITELY" "Definitely avoid that"
• Mary being a double agent for Mycroft
• The comments on the train about Watson convincing the world: SHERLOCK WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT YOUR SELF ESTEEM
• "There are no ghosts in this world: save the one we make for ourselves"
• SHERLOCK STANDING UP FOR LADY CARMICHAEL YAAAAS
• I'm sorry but Sherlock stop giving shade to the man whose life you were supposed to be saving XD
• IN THE GLASS GREENHOUSE OMG THE TAAAAAAAAALK
• "Have patience, Watson": HAH SAYS YOU SHERLOCK
• Sherlock basically saying "dude you're the one who knows about girls I'm gay as fuck"
• HANG ON the fact that he uses the modern picture of Irene Adler???? Sherlock your mind palace is starting to slip again.
• "You waited until I was asleep and looked at it" ".....I did" WATSON YOU LITTLE SNEAK
• "Under no competition whatsoever": OH SHERL YOUR SELF ESTEEM DUDE
• I love Sherlock's two sides represented by Holmes and Watson arguing with each other. Like it's the perfect representation of the conflict Sherlock must go through with his emotions
• "I made me.... Redbeard?" OH GOD HE'S REMEMBERING IT SOMEONE SEND HELP
• AND THE FACT HE DISTRACTS HIMSELF BY MAKING THE GHOST APPEAR
• Lady Carmichael totally represents Sherlock's guilt. Nobody can convince me otherwise. "You promised to keep him safe, you promised...." why can I see him saying that to himself after everything that happened with Mary? Like he promised himself that he'd keep John safe, and that's why he jumped and ran off for two years, and then he completely overlooks the fact John's wife was an assassin and then she shot him and everything and Sherlock felt guilty
• And he blames HIMSELF (note how Holmes and Watson represent Sherlock's two sides) for Sir Eustace's death: could Sir Eustace represent someone else?? Another murder or situation perhaps??
• OMG MORIARTY'S NOOOOOOOOTE: Sherlock is so shooketh when he sees that
• AND it's after that that the cracks start to appear. Modern phrases, the "hhhhhow", reminded himself of the list: he managed to shake himself up so much with just the MEMORY of Moriarty that he begins to lose his already tenuous grip on the reality he's created for himself
• "Pure reason topped by sheer melodrama, your life in a nutshell": SO TRUE
• OMG HE REMINDS HIMSELF OF THE LIST HE'S SO PRECIOUS
• "I haven't finished yet": SHERLOCK WHAT HAVE YOU DONE
• With the reporters: "why do you make them tea?" "I don't know. I just sort of do": LINK to 'The Sign of Three' and the morning tea
• "....The devil. I wouldn't be surprised, we get all sorts round here"
• OKAY GUYS MORIARTY'S HERE EVERYONE STAY CALM
• The dressing gown comment XD
• Andrew Scott is such a fucking queen and he makes such a creepy Moriarty and I FUCKING LOVE IT
• I love how creepy Moriarty is in Sherlock's mind palace. Like this is Sherlock's true perception of Moriarty as an enemy
• "We don't needs toys to kill each other where's the intimacy in that" OI OI BOYS
• THE SHAAAAAAAKING
• Can we just talk about how beautifully the transitions are? Like how they show the turbulence and Sherlock's own mind trying to drag him out of his mind palace but Sherlock stubbornly holds on because he needs to know
• HE JUST WANTS TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED I FEEL SO SORRY FOR HIM SUCH A SWEETIE
• THE CRAAAAAaaaater talk about the CGI
• "Maybe I could backcomb": DUDE THE BACK OF YOUR FUCKING HEAD WAS BLOWN OFF
• "It's not the fall that kills you Sherlock. It's not the fall, never the fall. It's the landing!"
• BOOM BACK TO MODERN DAY
• EYY CURLY HAIR IS BACK
• The fact that Mycroft knows immediately what's going on: it's so sad but it's so poignant that he's clearly been through this before
• HE WAS READING JOHN'S BLOG. JOHNLOCK FOREVER
• "Did you make a list?"
• And the fact he tries to avoid it but he knows he can't: JOHN'S FACE WHEN HE READS THE LIST. What was on that thing???
• REQUEST FOR SEASON 5: what the fuck was "that day"? The fact there's a whole agreement?? I WANNA KNOW
• "I'm not an addict, I'm a user. I allievate boredom and occasionally heighten my thought processes"
• SHERLOCK AND MYCROFT ARE SO SARCY WITH EACH OTHER: "listen to me" "nope. It only encourages you"
• OH GOD NO NOW THERE'S BROTHERY FEELS MYC STOP
• "I should have realised. "Realised what?" "That for you solitary confinement is locking you up with your own worst enemy" JESUS THE FEELS
• Then straight back to Victorian. THE TRANSITIONS ARE SO SEAMLESS AND BEAUTIFUL
• The fact he reminds himself in his mind palace that he's an addict. Literally two minutes ago he was saying he wasn't an addict. SUCH LIIIIIEEEEEEES
• And he tells himself off so much and I love him but he just needs such a hug
• "For Mary always. Never that": the fact he's so willing to do anything for Mary just because John loves her, regardless of what Sherlock feels towards her. IF THAT ISN'T TRUE LOVE I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS
• "You're Sherlock Holmes wear the damn hat"
• "Sherlock, tell me where my bloody wife is you pompous prick or I'll punch your lights out!": AGAIN showing the fragility of his mind palace
• "No not him, the clever one": AWWW HE REALLY DOES LOVE MYC
• "I was talking to Mary": NO YOU WEREN'T WATSON SHUT UP
• "Die to prove a point?": *ahem* Moriarty *ahem*
• OOO THE REVELATION OF HOOPER
• I feel so sorry for all of the women and how they've been marginalised
• OH HEY JANINE WHY ARE YOU HERE
• I mean I love what these women are doing but c'mon, killing them? Really? I totally agree cos they're bloody brutes but you could've tried not to break the law
• HE'S SO CONFIDENT GODDAMN BUT HE'S SO WRONG
• Moriarty once again reminding him (in a dress this time) that it's in his heaaaaaad
• "Speaking as a criminal mastermind we don't really have gongs"
• HEYYYY WE'RE BACK TO MODERN AGAIN
• I have a feeling that despite being completely under, Sherlock refused to let anyone but John touch him which was why John was checking him out despite the GMC discouraging doctors treating their friends/family
• He's talking so fast he's definitely still high
• "NO everyone always lets you do whatever you want, that's how you got in this state" damn that got hella real hella quick
• "He's right, you know." "So what if he's right, he's always right!" SHERLOCK YOUR LOVE FOR JOHN IS SHOWING
• *Mycroft standing with a torch watching them work hard" "I'm HELPING"
• The look Mycroft and Lestrade share: like "wtf have we gotten ourselves into" MYSTRADE
• "Still not awake, am I?" HE KNOWS YOU SEE
• We're at reichenbach: Sherlock's worst nightmare basically
• Moriarty even describes himself as a "virus" in a hard drive: Sherlock right there is admitting that Moriarty IS his weakness, that Moriarty stops him from being able to function at full capacity
• And then the fight: the fact Sherlock is losing so miserably
• "At the end it's always just you and me"
• WATSON YES THIS WAS WHEN YOU NEEDED TO ROCK UP
• "Pretty damn smart" AWWWW SHERL
• "Ugh why don't you two just elope already": I'm sorry but Moriarty is basically the fandom here XD
• "Actually, would you mind" "not at all" *dies from fangirl*
• "It was my turn": John just wanted to push Moriarty off of something XD
• John watching Sherlock jump off: "DO A FLIP!"
• "You probably just ODed?" "NO TIME"
• SHERLOCK HE CARES ABOUT YOU STOP BEING A BITCH
• "Look after him... please?": You see, Mycroft KNOWS. Up until 4-5 years ago, that was Mycroft's job, and you can just tell that he's not used to not being there. He's been caring for Sherlock for all of those years and he pretends to be so distant ("The Ice Man") but Sherlock is his weakness. Sherlock will always be his weakness. He obviously loves him (BROTHERLY WAY) so much and it HURTS how Sherlock just brushes him off
• The last little bit in Victorian London: still Sherlock's mind palace and coming down off the drugs still?? The fact that it's modern London outside of the window suggests that he's still in the mind palace where some of the hallucination (?) he'd been having is still lingering.
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artificialqueens · 5 years
Text
She Calls Me Your Highness - Sharon/Willam - pureCAMP
A/N - not sure how i managed this because i literally have an exam on monday but in the space of a few hours in the afternoon i wrote this and voila i guess its a fic challenge entry!
i went with sharon/willam for my rarepair (we need more of this wtf) and see if you can spot some of the silly cliches in here! i hope u all enjoy and pls send me lots of love bc i need it, like tinkerbell
(this is so long idk why aaaa)
Willam has an odd relationship with Sharon.
Well. That’s one way of putting it, anyway.
It started, she pondered, the moment they had met, eight years ago at the tender age of thirteen. Sharon was this scruffy thing, tall and skinny and entirely too long to look normal, dressed in ill-fitting scraps with a keen glint in her eyes. There was a smudge of dirt on her cheek that Willam’s gaze had fixated on immediately.
The large, stocky man behind her coughed subtly, nudging Sharon with his foot. Willam had waited patiently, her parents stood protectively either side of her.
It was the first time anyone had ever forgotten to curtsey.
A sharp thwack to the back of Sharon’s head soon corrected that wrong, and then she grinned at Willam as if to apologise. Which, whilst charming, was definitely not the correct protocol to address a young princess.
“Sharon.” The handler hissed. “Do you intend on eating tonight? Introduce yourself.”
Willam pursed her lips and remained silent; after all, she had been taught to do so. It was polite to allow non-royal folk a chance to exercise their poor attempts at grace and decorum. As a future ruler, it would make her look kind and down-to-earth, which was a desirable image. Everything was about cultivating the right image, as Willam would come to learn.
Sharon ran a hand - skeletal, with long, knobbly fingers - through her ratty almost-white hair. “Hello.”
Her voice was plain, provincial, with a hint of theatricality behind the emphasis in the way she spoke. There was nothing too offensive about it, but her parents had gasped as though affronted and the handler, who Willam was beginning to dislike, delivered another well-placed slap to the back of Sharon’s head.
She had forgotten to address her properly.
Rubbing the tender spot, she tried again. “Hello, Willam?”
Back then, Willam hadn’t known that she should be taking offense, but all children learn through doing. Surely, logically, judging by the muttered curses of her father and the utter mortification of the now-exasperated handler, she should be highly taken aback. She did her best to mimic their expressions, and to suppress the slight twinge of sympathy she felt when yet another blow struck the young girl.
At that point, it had seemed like Sharon was truly at a loss. Looking back on it, she hadn’t behaved insolent and rude, she had simply behaved like a child who didn’t know any better - or a child who knew better but had evidently forgotten in the face of a brand new situation.
“Princess?” Sharon attempted a third time, the glint in her eyes replaced with a nervous, hopeful shine.
The final blow came out of nowhere, and knocked the unsteady girl to the ground. Her height meant nothing in the absence of adolescent strength, and she hit the floor with the full force of an adult man. The handler placed his foot in the centre of her back, grabbed a handful of her hair and wrenched her head upwards so that, as she struggled for breath, her eyes could meet nobody’s except for Willam’s. Her face was directly level with Willam’s feet.
“G-Good to meet you, Your Highness.”
Satisfied, Willam’s parents and the somewhat cruel handler left the room to begin their business discussion, something that Willam was no doubt too young to understand or take part in. She didn’t know why Sharon had been brought to her, or why anything that had happened in the last few minutes had actually happened, but such was the life of a princess learning to be queen. Sharon stayed on the floor, her gaze still level with Willam’s feet, her breaths shaky and uneven.
Everyone said that was simply her place; on the ground, far beneath Willam. A lowly serving girl and nothing more.
It only took a few lessons in grace and status for Willam to learn that it was indeed the truth, and to quietly, complacently accept that girls like Sharon belonged where they were, and were treated how they were treated for good reason. So after that it was okay, she presumed.
Then they were fifteen, and Willam’s parents were holding a ball in the palace. It was fantastic news for Willam, who had been dying to meet with her friends for ages only to find them all busy with various courtly duties. Princess Alaska of the neighbouring kingdom had been away in some special school, no doubt nurturing her singing talent, and Willam had missed laughing with her. Princess Courtney hadn’t exactly been busy, per se, but she lived so far that the expenditures for travelling were a little too high, so letters had to suffice.
That meant that Willam’s only real company - discounting the governesses, who didn’t count because they were fucking boring - were the servants. Most of them didn’t really speak to Willam all that much, hyper aware that saying the wrong thing could cost more than their job was worth. Only one ever seemed to have the sheer gall to bite back and engage - and to nobody’s surprise, it was Sharon.
Willam reasoned to herself that she had requested Sharon specifically an hour and a half before the ball began because she was entertaining. Yes, that was it. That was the only reason, of course.
Her entrance was less than graceful, starkly different to that of the other serving girls. She didn’t lightly pad in, delicately opening the door and balancing the teapot and tray in the other arm - oh no, not at all. Sharon, ever the practical one, opted to barge the door open with her hip and charge in with the tea laid out in the tray which she held steadily with two hands.
Practical, yes, but unconventional and unbecoming of a palace servant.
“Hey, it’s my favourite ever princess. Afternoon, Willam.” She settled the tray down on a nearby table and flashed a grin - showing off her hideous gap tooth. It wasn’t hideous, really, and Willam was quite fond of it, but she had been told it wasn’t desirable, so she pretended she found it disgusting.
“You’re not supposed to call me that.” She retorted, crossing her arms over her chest.
Sharon shrugged. “What, princess?”
She was being pedantic. Sharon was always pedantic, which would’ve been infuriating if Willam wasn’t secretly the same way. Plus, although it was a secret she would never share, Willam was sure that if Sharon wore nicer clothes, tended to her hair and scrubbed off the dirt that appeared habitually on her cheeks, she would be quite pleasing to look at. Only if she made all that effort, though.
“No, Willam. You’re not supposed to call me Willam.”
The argument was pointless. Sharon shrugged a second time.
“It’s your God-given name, isn’t it? Am I not allowed to address you as God would?”
“You’re not God.”
“And thank fuck for that.”
Yeah, that was another thing about Sharon; she swore like a sailor, and it had gotten her in heaps of trouble throughout her time at the palace. Willam, nevertheless, appreciated the refreshing colloquialisms that reminded her that life existed beyond the palace walls.
Sharon picked up the tray again, starting towards the parlour that led off from Willam’s bedchambers. Still laughing, Willam shook her head and flopped onto the bed beside her ballgown, which was laid out ready for the evening.
“Sharon…” She whined, deliberately elongating her name. “Just do it in here, I can’t be bothered to walk all the way into there.”
The fatal mistake came when Willam grabbed Sharon’s forearm, forgetting that her hands were perpetually icy and shocking to the touch. Sharon jerked instinctively, and time seemed to slow down as the tray clattered to the floor, the teapot spilled open, and its entire contents splattered over Willam’s ballgown.
Willam stifled a laugh, which stilled into a chilling silence as she studied Sharon’s face. She had frozen in place, her mouth open ever-so-slightly, her eyes wide and filled with fright. Fragments of the now-shattered teapot littered the floor as evidence of the mistake and the dress… The dress was utterly ruined.
“Sharon, it’s okay-” Willam began, before one of the governesses came to discover the source of the sudden commotion.
“What is- Oh, you useless girl!” She cried out, grabbing Sharon by the wrist and forcing her aside. “Look what you’ve done to that beautiful dress! That cost more than your whole family could earn in ten years!”
The analogy shook Willam a little bit, wondering if it meant that the dress was expensive, Sharon’s family was poor, or an upsetting mixture of the two. More worrying was the attitude and confidence that had drained out of Sharon and puddled on the floor along with the tea.
“I-I know, ma’am, I’m sorry.”
Willam remembered being so annoyed that Sharon was taking the blame. She hadn’t done anything wrong, for crying out loud, and yet she had clammed up uncharacteristically and accepted her responsibility for it.
“Ada, be reasonable.” Willam tried to calm the angry governess. “Look, all that happened was that Sharon was carrying the tea into the parlour and I-”
Sharon cut in swiftly. “I stumbled and dropped the tray, ma’am. I-I truly didn’t mean to, and if you would permit me to express how sorry I am I would like to redeem myself by helping Her Highness prepare for the ball.”
The governess snorted. “Hmph. Insolent girl. You may help the princess, after you have been punished for this silly amateur mishap. Do not let this happen again or the consequences will be much more severe. In the meantime, I will have Governess Nina bring out the spare gown.”
Willam lay on the bed and closed her eyes after they left, humming to try and drown out the sound of the whip cracking through the air and the pained cries that followed each one. She turned over once and then again, her stomach churning with a mixture of guilt and anger that didn’t sit well with her at all. She would never be able to figure out Sharon Needles, she decided, as a particularly agonised scream had her curling in on herself, sure she had caused that pain and simultaneously adamant that she hadn’t, given Sharon’s insistence.
She was fucking confusing, that was for sure.
Still as unwavering as ever, Sharon had appeared nonetheless a short while later, her hair more dishevelled than before and her face adorning a tight smile. Her steps were slow and deliberate and Willam ached to think of the damage the cruel whip had done to her, for no reason. She said nothing as Sharon let herself in, and examined the new dress on the bed.
“Well. If anything, I think this dress is prettier than the first one.” Sharon said dryly.
Willam rose to her feet, incensed. “Why the fuck would you do that? You know damn well that was my fault and she would never have fucking whipped me for it, so why even bother taking the blame? Are you an idiot?”
“No, Willam, I’m a servant. I’m beneath you. It’s my job to take the flack when shit like this happens.”
She had crossed her arms, and Willam’s eyes darted unwittingly to her chest before rising up again, only adding to her flushed cheeks.
“Your job is to serve, not to lie and take the heat for me.”
Sharon rolled her eyes and began to prepare the dress for Willam. “You’re welcome.”
“…Thanks.” Willam acquiesced, huffing slightly. “I’m not gonna apologise for going off on you, because I meant it and also I don’t apologise, but thanks for doing that. It wasn’t necessary, but it was nice I guess.”
It hit Willam all of a sudden the many times she had broken or ruined something, and the many times she had received no penance for it. Perhaps it wasn’t such a coincidence that Sharon always had dirt on her cheek, a bruise on her arm, a limp in her walk. Surely she hadn’t been taking responsibility for that the whole time?
God, if Sharon could stop and make sense for five minutes, it would make Willam’s life a lot easier. She still couldn’t work out if she actually liked Sharon, or if she didn’t.
“You’re not… you’re not mad at me, right?” Willam breached the topic as she stood before the mirror, Sharon behind her.
Sharon’s fingers were still long and knobbly, but swift and adept at performing most tasks she was asked to do. She fiddled with the laces of the corset and raised an eyebrow in nonchalance.
“Sounding a little insecure there, Willam.”
Infuriating. “No, I just mean - God, you’re an asshole. I mean for taking all the hits for me.”
“I’m not mad.” Sharon replied shortly.
She tugged on the corset strings, and Willam bucked forward, all of the air in her throat exiting in one strangled gasp as Sharon viciously tightened it to suck in her waist.
Oh, she was mad. Yeah, Willam didn’t like her again.
Eighteen years old. Another ball. Courtney was somewhere fraternizing with the rest of the foreigners (as Willam affectionately called her family and the rest of them), and Willam would rather die than talk to Vicky, so she started looking around for Alaska. She should’ve known the leggy blonde wasn’t there from the absence of her screechy laugh, but she paced the ballroom for a short while before deciding to step out into the gardens in a fit of anger.
Alaska wasn’t even in the ballroom, and Willam knew she hadn’t skipped out on the event because she had seen her sweeping in with her parents, her petite figure hidden beneath her opulent blue gown.
Where the hell had she got to?
Willam grabbed a glass of champagne from a passing servant and began to wander through the garden, stewing in her own frustration. The tightness of her corset wasn’t helping matters, either, as she tried to sit on a bench a few inches from the barn and found the task nearly impossible. Briefly, she thought about the freedom of the birds that fluttered above her in the branches, before dismissing the notion as too cliche and sickeningly cringy. Willam had more freedom than she cared to acknowledge - her only real constraint was fashion.
Still, she kicked a trowel out of her way and began pacing again, irritated at Alaska’s absence. She better have a good explanation for it, or else Willam would have to write to Vicky after the ball and tell her that Alaska was absolutely enchanted with her, and they should meet up as soon as possible to discuss a family alliance. It was cruel, yes, but it was what she deserved for leaving Willam all alone. She sighed, and turned back towards the palace.
The barn light was on.
Why the hell was the barn light on? Nobody was in the barn. There weren’t even any horses in the barn, or whatever else was kept in there (Willam didn’t know, having never been allowed to step foot somewhere so dirty). If some idiot servant had left the candles lit amongst all that hay, there would be hell to pay - that is, if the entire fucking palace didn’t burn down.
She considered fetching Charles, the gardener, but figured that it wasn’t fair to bother him on his night off. Her mind filled her with instances of Sharon - fucking Sharon crossing her mind again, annoying bitch - taking the blame for Willam’s messiness, and she decided perhaps it was her time to help out a forgetful servant.
The door to the barn was heavy, but opened slowly and silently as Willam pushed on it. It allowed her ample time to examine the room before her, taking in nothing but piles of hay and candles lit all around the edges to give the place some light. Empty, it seemed.
Or not. The silence of the door and Willam’s light footsteps gave nothing away as she slowly stepped in, snuffing the two candles either side of the door. It made little difference to the amount of light in the room, but it was a start. Two more steps forwards towards the next candle and Willam suddenly heard a rustling that made her heart stop.
Was it some kind of wild animal? Or a trap, maybe, designed to lure an innocent - allegedly - princess to her grisly end? Okay, maybe not so much the last one, considering the amount of variables that had led to Willam entering the barn in the first place. Still, some kind of crazy raccoon or fox wasn’t really off limits, not yet.
Willam held her breath as she began to tiptoe around the largest mound of hay, which rose up several feet beyond her height. Then, filling her with first fear, then dread, and lastly confusion, she heard a giggle.
“Do that again,” A voice floated out, ever-so quiet, and yet oddly familiar in a way Willam couldn’t place. She stood still and listened.
Another voice replied. “What, this?”
Both voices seemed far too familiar, but in her confusion Willam had no idea who they were. She kept straining to listen, hoping that the more she heard, the sooner she would remember who the voices belonged to. In the meantime, she heard a soft gasp and a satisfied hum.
“If someone saw us right now-” The first voice said, though she didn’t sound worried at all.
“What would you do?” The second asked, and did something that caused the first to giggle again.
“Probably keep kissing you.”
A gasp. “You’re so bad.”
“You’re a bad influence on me, baby. Oh my god!”
Whatever the oh my god was in response to, Willam didn’t care to find out, because the voices suddenly registered in her mind and it was enough to send her reeling. She stepped out from behind the hay to confront to two.
“Okay, what the fuck?!”
Willam wasn’t quite sure what she expected, but this certainly wasn’t it.
Alaska lay against the hay, her beautiful gown still thankfully draped across her but her hair and her lipstick all in disarray. Her eyes were sparkling with what initially seemed like arousal, but something deeper and more tender filled her gaze. Straddled over her hips was Sharon, dressed in a manner than Willam had never seen her in before, her eyes clouded with the same amalgamation of lust, desire and affection as Alaska’s. For starters, she was wearing breeches, which were impossibly tight and brown and clung to every sinful curve of her ass and thighs in a way that was deeply inappropriate for any lady, even a poor one. The off-white blouse she was wearing had long, billowing sleeves that were rolled up to her elbows, and it was half ripped open, presumably by Alaska’s hands, to reveal her breasts. Her chest was heaving up and down and Willam couldn’t tear her eyes away.
“Willam!” Alaska screeched, pushing Sharon off of her and shooting to her feet. “I - uh - we were just-”
“Save it.” Willam nearly spat, not sure why she was angry but too incensed to step back and think about it. “I can see what you were doing, it’s clear as fucking crystal. Are you insane?! She’s a servant!”
Alaska babbled helplessly, fussing with her hair and trying her hardest to save face. Sharon, now stood a few feet behind her, was breathing heavily, evidently also angry, but her failure to button up her shirt had Willam going dizzy.
“You’re a princess, and she’s a servant.” She repeated, well aware that this was what was causing Sharon’s fiery glare. “And you’re making out in my fucking barn? Don’t you have any common sense? Aren’t your parents in the midst of planning your fucking marriage?”
Alaska had the decency to look ashamed, but still attempted to defend herself. “Actually, they’re not, Willam. I did what you said and I told them I’m not ready, and they said it was okay and they’ve given me more time.”
“How did you even meet? Is this the first time that you’ve-” The words caught in Willam’s throat, but she didn’t know why. She refused to meet Sharon’s eyes and directed her fury to Alaska.
“I-”
Sharon stepped forwards, and Willam hated how shameless she was with her nudity. “No, Your Highness, this isn’t the first time this has happened. But not here.”
They both fell silent. Neither of them told Willam where they had met, and her wrath only incurred further. Still, Alaska’s eyes were filled with guilty tears, and perhaps it was time she doled out some of her anger on Sharon instead.
“Your mother wants you. Go find her.”
Alaska didn’t need to be told twice, first shooting a pained glance in Sharon’s direction and then lifting her skirt to exit the barn as quickly as she possibly could. Willam redirected her anger to Sharon, who looked exquisite in the softly flickering candlelight.
What?
“Don’t be so harsh on Alaska, this isn’t her fault.” Sharon said roughly.
Willam snorted derisively. “What, so you’re taking the blame for everything she does wrong now, too? Guess I’m not so special after all, huh.”
Sounding a little insecure there, Willam. “Wrong?”
It was only one word, but it was laced with a dangerous tone that sent shivers running down Willam’s spine, and yet… a peculiar feeling pooling in her lower half. What the hell was Sharon doing to her?
“Whatever. Listen to me, Sharon, I want to know -”
“No.” Sharon came closer, and yet again Willam found her eyes somehow mesmerised by her exposed breasts. “No, I wanna talk about why you think it’s so disgusting and wrong for someone like Alaska to be kissing someone like me.”
Willam swallowed angrily. “I didn’t say that.”
“You meant it though, didn’t you? All you fucking royal folk are the same, you think I’m some kind of dirty plaything that everyone wants to look at but won’t touch. I care about Alaska.”
“All of us royal folk? Can you even hear the bullshit you’re spouting right now?” Willam spluttered.
Sharon’s face hardened. “You haven’t stopped staring since you walked in. I know exactly what I fucking mean.”
She sighed heavily. “I met Alaska at the ball six months ago, when I was on serving duty. She was sweet and she started asking me about myself, and I didn’t tell her anything because that’s my fucking job as a lowlife servant, but she kept trying and she was so kind that she wore me down. It wasn’t long after that when she found out about my side-gig and she begged me to show her. This is my fault, not hers.”
Willam’s blood ran cold as she pictured the two of them together in more intimate situations - various states of undress, or perhaps entirely unclothed, kissing hard and fast in sleazy taverns across the kingdom.
“Your… side-gig?” Despite her best efforts, Willam’s voice was wracked with confusion and - regrettably - a hint of fear.
Sharon shook her head, like the assumption offended her. “I’m not a prostitute, Willam, I wasn’t offering her my services. I - There’s a group of us down in the outskirts of the kingdom who grew up poor and working on our scraps of farm land. There used to be a ton of bandits, so we learned how to fight them off and they’re gone now, but there’s this small sparring club where we keep fit and teach others to fight. I’ve been privately sparring with Alaska for the last few months, and… I guess one thing led to another.”
Sparring? That was an improvement from prostitution, sure, but the trust and the intimacy of it didn’t escape her mind. She could see the two of them sweating and panting, Alaska dressed in the same inappropriate garb as Sharon as their limbs connected, blocking and dodging and swerving with some kind of alluring grace that made no sense. She could see Sharon’s muscles flexing in the tight breeches, watch her chest rising and falling with exhaustion as she ripped the shirt open and poured cold water over her head to cool herself.
What was happening to her?
“Teach me.”
The command came out of nowhere, but a command it was.
“Huh?”
“I said, teach me.” Willam repeated. “And I won’t tell anyone about this.”
Sharon laughed mirthlessly. “Are you blackmailing me?”
This time, it was Willam who stepped closer. They were merely inches apart, and if Willam were to do as much as to suck in a deep breath, her dress would be pressed against Sharon’s bare chest. The very thought had her pulse racing.
“Not blackmailing you. I just… want to learn. Embroidery is boring, and… if I tell the governesses I’ve taken up landscape paintings, they’ll send you with me to keep me safe…”
She smiled gently, not sure where her anger had gone but not missing the blazing heat it had inflamed inside her. It didn’t make any sense, and she was glad it had gone. Her tummy fluttered as Sharon grinned, shyly at first, until her face split into her usual amused expression. God, she’s fucking beautiful in this light.
“Alright, Willam. You’ve got yourself a deal.” She breathed a sigh of relief. “I guess I should do up my shirt now, huh.”
Willam eyed the beginnings of a love bite on Sharon’s neck and felt the familiar flames licking at her insides once again. She turned away to leave.
“Should doesn’t always mean you have to. I usually take should as a suggestion, nothing more.”
For two years they sparred together, and for two years Willam’s relationship with Sharon seemed to get weirder and weirder. Sparring was just as she’d predicted, hot and heavy, and it was a shock to the system being so physical with someone. Sharon’s boundaries disappeared once they were out in the open, safe from everyone in miles upon miles of green grass that stretched far enough to obscure them from sight.
Most of the time they sparred and talked; sometimes they just sparred; sometimes they just talked. Willam wasn’t as good as Sharon, but she was learning, and most importantly, she was spending time with her.
Not that she was really sure why that made her so happy, but it did.
When Willam arrived at their usual spot, thanking whoever was listening up above for the perfectly cool, fresh weather for training in, she found Sharon alone with a piece of paper held between her hands. She hadn’t noticed Willam’s presence, and didn’t even glance up as she called her name.
Why was she so desperate for Sharon’s attention? She was a fucking princess, everyone paid attention to her.
“Uh, Sharon? Hello?”
Sharon looked up, only for a moment, and then her eyes dropped back down to the paper in front of her. “Yes, I can see you.”
So fucking irritating. Some things would never change, Willam thought to herself. Even as she had grown older, more beautiful, capturing Willam’s attention - she was still a bitch with an attitude far too uncouth for a serving girl. Then again, she supposed, out here Sharon wasn’t a palace servant. She was a sparring teacher and a free woman, a liberty she could seldom enjoy. Willam’s authority didn’t mean shit here.
“Are we sparring today?” Willam tried to tone down the hopefulness in her voice. In truth, she had been looking forwards to it for a fortnight. Her parents had dragged her to another kingdom to sit in on their business relations, in order to get a concept of what she would need to do when it came her time to be queen, but she felt stifled and bored without Sharon to bounce off of. She had declined the offer to come along on the trip, leaving Willam to take some other stuffy maid who lived only to serve, never to laugh or put Willam in her place.
She had thought about Sharon the entire time. Missed her, even. It didn’t make much sense, but she knew that was how she had felt.
“I’m not in the mood.”
Sharon’s words were clipped. Willam sat down beside her, already kitted out in her own breeches so that she didn’t have to worry about grass stains on her clothes, and sighed frustratedly.
“Ugh, thanks. Make me walk all the way out here for nothing, huh?” She complained, wincing at how entitled she sounded. Sometimes being a princess had its downfalls, and this was one of them.
Sharon scowled. “I didn’t have to sit here and wait for you, ungrateful bitch. I came just so you wouldn’t be all freaked out that I ditched you. I just don’t want to fucking spar, that’s all. Go practise with the dummy if you really wanna fight. Work on your precision.”
Willam started pulling grass out of the ground in handfuls, trying and failing to quell the feeling rising in her stomach. What even was it, anyway? Disappointment? Resentment? Anger? Jealousy?
“Too worn out from Alaska, huh?” She remarked petulantly, kicking a clod of mud from the ground and watching it fly through the air.
Sharon folded the letter. “Actually, we split up if you must know. Is it fun being an asshole all the time, or do you ever get bored of it?”
Something stirred inside her, but she didn’t know quite what it was. The concern she felt for her friend - if she could even call Sharon her friend, because she truly had no idea what the relationship between her and her servant would even be called at this point - only appeared afterwards, in the wake of the sudden surge of warmth.
“Shit… God, I’m sorry, Sharon. Is that letter from her?”
Sharon nodded, her mouth set in a hard line. She pulled her knees close to her chest and frowned. “It’s been a long time coming, to be honest. I knew it would arrive at some point, I just didn’t know when. Ever since her coronation she’s been different. She doesn’t want to know me anymore.”
“That’s not true.” Willam attempted to comfort her, reaching out a shaky hand to rub Sharon’s back. That was what people did, right? A normal, friendly action. Electric sparks seemed to jump from her fingertips at the slightest bit of contact.
“She’s been stressed, Sharon, it’s a difficult job. I’m sure it’s not that she doesn’t want to see you.”
“She’s changed.” Sharon insisted, her words tinged with bitterness. “I’ll tell you the truth about her, Willam, she’s just fucking ambitious. She’ll stop at nothing to make herself and her kingdom powerful, it’s all she cares about now. When was the last time she wrote to you? Alaska, she… she’s been distant with me for months now. Doesn’t want to train, doesn’t want to meet up, too busy to care that it was my birthday and I waited up all night for her… All she wants is to have power. Last I heard, she’s in the midst of a proposal from Grigolia. She doesn’t love him, of course, but they’re incredibly influential. It’ll be great for her kingdom.”
She sighed, and it was strained with unshed tears. “I’m happy for her. She got over the anxiety she was having over being a queen and now she’s thriving. I just didn’t realize that I had to be out of the picture for that to happen.”
Willam sucked in a breath, unsure of what to say. She hadn’t even known that Alaska was so worried about her future as a ruler, but then she guessed that she had confided in Sharon during their stint as passionate lovers. Not a single letter had arrived from her in the past few months but again, she had just assumed Alaska was busy with her new duties and her old flame.
“I’m not upset.” Sharon added, sounding far more upset than she was trying to play it off as. “I knew this would happen. I’m - This is what’s best for her, and I got over that long before she even broke up with me. It’s this fucking letter that’s got me. Here, see how fucking different she is now.”
Dear Ms Sharon Needles,
It is regrettable that I inform you of the termination of our relationship. Truly I have loved you for a long time and every moment we spent together I shall treasure in my heart and honour in my memory for as long as I live. Still, I find it pertinent that I explain to you my decision and my reasoning, so that you are not left hanging on to a feeble dream of what once was.
When we met, I was a young princess still unsure of my fate, and you were the escape into the wilderness that I had always dreamed about. How fantastically romantic it was, and thrilling to escape with you and to learn skills that no self-respecting princess should know. It was exhilarating and you, dearest, were breathtaking.
However, I know that you are as aware as I am that a relationship between a simple servant and the queen of a kingdom should never exist. A marriage between us would be impossible and thus, I have to put my loyal subjects and the future of my home before a fling with a heathen. I know that you understand this.
Perhaps we will keep in touch, and I may see you once in a while, should I visit Princess Willam’s home. Rest assured I bear no ill will towards you, but that it is only status keeping us apart.
Farewell and best wishes,
Queen Alaska E.J.T,
Glamatronia
“So politely worded.” Sharon muttered, as Willam came to the end of the neatly-written letter. “Such a kind, loving way to tell me that she’s given up on us because I’m poor and my lowly, shit-shovelling status won’t help her progress in life. I honestly - honestly! - don’t care, it’s just…”
She tore the letter from Willam’s grasp and tucked it into the front pocket of her shirt. “We never talked about status. That never mattered. She was a princess and I was a servant but when we were together, none of that meant anything. She was just Alaska and I was just Sharon.”
A pause. “Sorry. Shouldn’t be talking shit about your friend. Off with my head, right?”
Willam shook her head fervently. “Sharon, this is… I’m so sorry. I don’t know why she’s done this. I don’t… who in their right mind would break up with you?”
Sharon’s eyes shot up. “Huh?”
Did I really just say that? To Sharon? What the hell does that even mean?
“I mean, uh… Well, I mean what I said. Really, what reason does she have besides some bullshit about status?”
Sharon smiled, but it lasted only a moment. “You’re sweet, Willam. But I’m not exactly a catch and I knew that when I began this shit with Alaska. I just hate that she had to remind me that I’m nothing.”
“You’re not nothing. Who says you’re not a catch?” Willam had no control over any of the words that left her lips. She needed to move, or leave, or do something, before she ended up saying something that she would regret for the rest of her life.
This time, Sharon let out a proper laugh, and the harsh, barking cackle was like music to Willam’s ears.
“Are you serious? Willam, look at me.” Please, Sharon, I’m having trouble tearing my eyes away from you. “I’m not marriage material, I have nothing to give. I have no dowry, my father is unknown and so I bear my mother’s maiden name purely because it’s the only one there is, and she died six years ago.” I don’t need money. I don’t need anything, you wouldn’t have to give anything to me. “Plus as far as wifely duties go I’m a mess, sure I can serve but I drink and swear like a sailor and absolutely nobody would find that attractive.” I do, I find it incredibly attractive, I think you’re more beautiful than Aphrodite herself. “I don’t even dress properly, for fuck’s sake. I’m either in a servant uniform or these breeches and shirt, neither of which are appropriate.” But my god do they look good on you, does everything look good on you?
What the hell is happening to me?
“Sharon, come on. You’ve never looked in a mirror and once thought that you’re beautiful? You’ve never heard me laughing at your jokes and realized how funny and charming you are?”
Just like that, Sharon’s features softened. She looked up at Willam, and god, her eyes were the prettiest shade of blue. They reminded Willam of the sky at night, dark and inky and shining with flecks of stars, and all at once everything made sense to her. The misplaced anger, the confusion, the rising jealousy…
Sharon had been setting her heart aflame for years and she had been ignoring it for way too long.
“You… you think I’m beautiful? And charming?” Sharon ran a hand through her hair, an action Willam had become accustomed to watching her do when she was nervous. “God, with all the shit I’ve said to you in the palace over the years I should be sat in a dungeon, not being complimented by you. This makes no sense.”
Willam shook her head softly. “Fuck… Sharon, you’ve never made sense to me. I don’t think you ever will.”
Sharon’s hair was as soft as it looked, and her skin was smooth and warm, and somehow they were kissing and Willam’s heart was racing and her pulse was heightened and my god, she had been pining for this for so long and now nothing else in the world mattered. All that mattered was here and now, and if the world erupted into storm and fire around them she wouldn’t have noticed or cared, because she was kissing Sharon and she had wanted to kiss this fucking girl ever since she was fifteen, serving girl or not.
They broke apart moments later, and Sharon’s eyes were wide with surprise and confusion. A torrent of hateful thoughts began to flood her brain and Willam didn’t know what to do other than stare.
“I have to go.” She blurted out, her stomach jolting so horribly that she was sure she was going to vomit. As quick as she could she bolted away, leaving Sharon alone in the grass, certain she had ruined any kind of friendship they had managed to build up over the years. It had always been on tenterhooks and just as Sharon was at her most vulnerable, Willam had ruined everything with a kiss that she didn’t even want and that was it, friendship over, and every day for here out was going to be an utter nightmare all because Willam’s heart wouldn’t stop flipping and somersaulting at the thought of Sharon, all because her hands snaked south when she pictured Sharon as she had done in the barn, her breasts exposed and her skin shining with sweat, lying beneath her in Alaska’s position.
Everything, ruined, because of one stupid kiss.
God. Willam hated Sharon.
Twenty one. Six months passed, Willam turned twenty one, and Sharon was pretty much nowhere to be seen. Willam heard from another servant that she was taking some of the dirtier jobs, checking the dungeons and scrubbing the kitchen floors, so she wasn’t tending to Willam and helping her get dressed and making her laugh anymore.
It was official, Willam had ruined everything. The only time she saw Sharon was to spar with her, which they still did, but Sharon was nothing other than a teacher, harsh and ruthless and blunt, but never laughing, never smiling. She was closed off and distant and this, this must’ve been what heartbreak felt like because the pain in Willam’s chest never left. Their sparring conversations were brief but it was something, and Willam would do anything just to bring back their old laughter.
It was still agonising to spend so much time watching Sharon grow sweaty and breathless and to watch her muscles flexing as she demonstrated moves Willam could only hope of learning to do. Willam loved the tightness and the seriousness of her face as much as she loved when it was full of laughter and light, so at least she still had that to fall back on.
Loved. God, she had it bad.
It was January, a freezing cold winter, and Willam was winning a fight. Contrary to what she had expected, this victory didn’t make her feel good whatsoever. Sharon wasn’t even trying, and Willam understood that they weren’t on the best of terms right now, but this was just downright insulting. She didn’t need some stupid fake victory to boost her self-esteem.
“Fucking hell,” She swore, lunging at Sharon and cursing as she dodged poorly and ended up being struck squarely in the shoulder. “You’re seriously out of shape. I’ve barely even broken a sweat and you look like you’re about to pass out.”
She swept her leg in a smooth circle - a move that Sharon had spent weeks teaching her and had perfected the dodge for. Instead of leaping over it, which Willam knew Sharon was capable of, the strike threw her to the ground and knocked all the air out of her lungs. Willam was painfully reminded of when they had first met, at thirteen, and that image gripped at her heart. Instantly, she knelt beside Sharon, who hadn’t moved.
“I’m fine.” She croaked. “Out of practise.”
“Bullshit.” Willam swore again. “Someone like you doesn’t just get out of practise. Did I hurt you?”
“No.” Sharon denied vehemently. “Willam, I’m fine. You won, I’m proud of you.”
The fight had been more like a warmup than anything else, so Willam started to get concerned. Sharon’s face was pale and glistening with a sheen of sweat where, as she’d previously taunted, Willam’s was dry. Slightly worried, she pressed a hand to Sharon’s forehead and hissed.
“Jesus fuck, Sharon. You’re sick. Why the hell are you out here fighting with me if you’re sick?”
Sharon struggled to her feet, swaying slightly as though she were drunk. “I’m not sick.”
“Sure. I’m not a princess, either. Sharon Needles, you’re sick. Come with me, now.”
Before Sharon could protest, Willam held up a hand to silence her. “I hate to do this, Sharon, and you know it, but as a princess, I have a right to command you to do as I see fit, and right now I see it fit that you take my coat and put it on, and walk with me to the palace so that I can get you inside and get you warm. At no point during this will you protest against what I have told you. Understood?”
Sharon grumbled, and Willam raised an eyebrow.
Then she cracked a smile and started to lead Sharon back to the palace.
Neither of them talked about their interlocked fingers. Sharon was cold, and being cold was the worst for anyone who was sick. Willam was simply warming her up, preventing her from getting any sicker. Anyone would’ve done it.
Once they made it into Willam’s bedchambers, somehow miraculously unseen by anyone who would go tattling to a governess (which Willam didn’t need, being twenty one and no longer in need of an education, yet still had), she stripped away the coat and handed Sharon one of her silky nightgowns.
Sharon stared at her.
“Come on, bitch, I know you’re not stupid. This is a dress worn in bed. Put the damn thing on.” She watched Sharon expectantly.
“In front of you?” Her voice was thick, now, clear evidence that despite whatever she claimed, she was most definitely sick.
Willam shrugged. “You’ve dressed me hundreds of times, get your clothes off and get this on. I’m going to call on the kitchen real quick, when I get back you better have the dress on and be tucked in bed, got it? No complaints, hop to it.”
Sharon opened her mouth to protest, but judging by the sudden wince, her throat was too sore to say anything in response, and Willam darted out to speak to someone who could relay a message to the kitchen. She asked for hot soup and broth and tea and bread, trying to think of anything she could that might make Sharon feel better. Camomile went on the list, as did peppermint. Perhaps it was a little excessive, but Willam really, really cared about Sharon, and she knew winters could be cruel.
Her heart nearly melted when she re-entered the room, taking the tray from the young servant and opting to carry it in herself. Not only did Sharon look beyond beautiful in her dress, flattering her figure better than Willam had seen on anyone else, she looked ridiculously sweet and helpless in the middle of her huge bed, huddled beneath the layers of sheets.
Willam smiled tenderly, happy that the kitchen had honoured her strange request of a slightly damp, cold flannel to go with the assortment of teas and broths. She placed it on Sharon’s head to attempt to relieve her fever, ignoring her protests of how cold she was.
“I know, I know. I got sick last winter and it was horrible.” Willam told her, stroking her hair. “Here, have some of this tea. Drink it slowly, I think it will help.”
Having lost the energy to fight, Sharon just did as she was told. The tip of her nose had turned a rosy pink and Willam wanted nothing more than to kiss it.
“Sit with me.” Came her request, whispered so quietly and yet registering in Willam’s mind as though she had shouted it from the rooftops for the whole kingdom to hear. “Please.”
She was truly unable to say no. Without another thought, Willam slipped underneath the covers beside Sharon, who was absurdly warm and soft and jesus christ Willam had thought about this scenario so many times and it wasn’t happening how she had imagined it and yet still, somehow, Sharon was in her bed and she was a warm soft weight and really, what else mattered?
Sharon shuffled close and lay her head on Willam’s shoulder, and it was all she could do not to explode into a million tiny pieces.
“You know, I thought I had ruined everything when - when I kissed you.” She found herself saying, almost tripping over her words in her haste to get them out. “I ran because I was so sure you hated me for doing that to you, especially right after Alaska…”
She caught herself before things got too personal. “Then I hardly saw you and it just confirmed my fears and I’m so, so sorry. Sharon, I care about you way too much to hurt you like that, and it’s so confusing to me. Sometimes I swear I hate you just because I don’t understand why I like you so much.”
Sharon snuffled, nestling closer to Willam. “I thought you hated me.” Sharon replied sleepily, and somehow the proximity of their two bodies was right, as though two jigsaw pieces had perfectly slotted together. “I was scared to come by you in case… in case you didn’t want to see me.”
“I always want to see you.” Willam reassured her, and then bit her lip from how forward it was. “I mean… I never know what to say around you. I’ve never wanted anyone to like me so much in my life. Our friendship has always meant so much to me, and the thought of ruining it…”
“Liked it.” Sharon murmured, her words becoming more and more nonsensical as she drifted into a sleepy trance. “Liked when you kissed me… always been pretty…”
Willam chuckled softly, careful not to jostle Sharon too much. “You think I’m pretty?”
“Thank you for the tea… and the bed… and the cuddle…” Sharon told her, and it was so fucking sweet that Willam could’ve cried. “Love you…”
Willam kissed the tip of her nose. Sharon fell asleep in her arms and it was exactly where she was meant to be.
It was a weird relationship. All Willam knew was that she loved Sharon so, so fucking much.
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makeste · 4 years
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BnHA Chapter 249: Todoroki Taco Night
Previously on BnHA: Nothing happened at all, because the manga was on break last week! Fortunately the anime had finally resumed after a billion years (estimation; exact length of time may be slightly off), so we had that to take the edge off in the meantime. Except we didn’t, because the anime also ended up going on break due to a rugby game or some shit. So that was nice. On a related note, when I die I’d like the Basement arc to lower me into my grave, so it can let me down one last time.
Anyway, Endeavor did some mentoring and gave Shouto and Kacchan a power-up assignment and told Deku to work on Air Force to help him master the fine control he needs for the Bloop. Then Fuyu called a week later and was all “HEY DAD, DINNER, OUR PLACE, TONIGHT, BRING THE KIDS.” And then as previously mentioned, we waited two whole fucking weeks and MY GOD, my body is ready, on to the new chapter we go!
Today on BnHA: Shouto, Katsuki, and Deku are cordially invited to Todosmith Farms for an evening of food and fun! They make it approximately six minutes into dinner before Natsu loses it and exits with more theatrics than a spurned reality TV show contestant. Baku and Deku spend the next hour being all “!!!” at each other back and forth, and whispering about how fucking dramatic the Todorokis are, which fully kills me and is my favorite thing ever to happen in the world. Deku then begins to guide Shouto through his personal healing process like fucking Mufasa booming at Simba from the heavens, and meanwhile Endeavor listens in while quietly kneeling before HIS DEAD SON’S PHOTOGRAPH, IN THE SHRINE THEY BUILT FOR SAID DEAD SON IN HIS BEDROOM, and sorrowfully wishing he could do more for his family. Anyways so I’m in ruins now, but otherwise fine. How are you?
(All comments are my unspoiled reactions from my initial readthrough of the chapter. I did a quick edit for grammar and clarity afterward, and added a few ETAs in the process, but aside from that there are no changes.)
well it’s Thursday morning, and I have just seen the picture of baby white-haired Touya because no one in this fandom knows how to fucking spoiler tag (and that’s on me too for browsing the BnHA tag on a Thursday; I know better, but I was just curious how this new group chat thing was working out), so here are my immediate thoughts
we never actually confirmed that the hair color correlates to their powers, huh. we just assumed. but come to think, there’s no reason why someone couldn’t have mom’s hair but dad’s quirk. it’s all Shouto’s fault for being a perfect 50/50 split and thus making everyone assume that THAT’S JUST HOW IT WORKS. damn you Shouto and your dramatic character design
anyways I tried not to look at the pic for too long -- once I realized what I was looking at, I averted my eyes -- but he does look like Dabi, I think. oh shit guys. it’s really fucking happening
and I also didn’t get a good enough look to determine whether this was a photo of Touya (that Deku or whoever happened to spot while visiting the Todochester Mystery House for the much-hyped dinner) or a flashback image (in which he is just standing really fucking still for some reason and staring directly at the camera), so I guess we’ll see. but anyways, Deku and Kacchan didn’t come all the way down to Todoroki taco night to not have their evening peppered with intricate family drama and reopened wounds and hysterical conspiracy theories, so you had better keep them goddamn entertained! lord knows the Todorokis don’t do small talk. this is literally their only way of spicing things up so their guests don’t die of sheer awkwardness while Endeavor sits in stony silence and Shouto just stuffs his face with soba all night
also aren’t we due some popularity poll results soon? just getting in all my random thoughts now before we dive in. anyways Horikoshi, so you know what I want to see now and you better deliver
aaaand now it’s Friday! so Happy Birthday Aizawa, and LET’S GET TO THAT CHAPTER
and we’re opening with Endeavor’s Redemption Arc: The Page. omg
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holy fucking shit BnHA. you sure do have a way of making me wait WITH BATED BREATH!! FOR TWO WEEKS!!! ON THE EDGE OF MY SEAT!!!! for the new fucking chapter only to have me immediately suck in a deep breath through my teeth and seriously reconsider whether I am in any way emotionally prepared to handle this. “you think you know what you want?!” Horikoshi demands. “YOU HAVE NO IDEA.” sob it’s trueeee
okay. okay. we can do this. hell, if we made it through Tomura’s flashbacks then this should be child’s play. so all right, let’s go
-- oh wait, but before I click to the next page, I just want to note that Endeavor isn’t the only one who’s nowhere to be found in this pic, though! boy you have three sons. uno dos tres
“the hellish Todoroki residence” lmao this legitimately sounds like the title of a Buzzfeed Unsolved episode
ARE YOU TELLING ME ENDEAVOR PROVIDES LUXURY APARTMENTS FOR ALL HIS FUCKING EMPLOYEES OMFG
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SO MY THREE SONS HAVE ALL BEEN ROOMING TOGETHER UNDER ENDEAVOR’S ROOF!? THE FANFIC ENDEAVOR AGENCY RESIDENCES?! WHAT KIND OF OT3 SHENANIGANS HAVE BEEN ABOUNDING THIS PAST WEEK OH MY GOODNESS THIS IS LIKE A DREAM
OH MY GOD
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okay I have like... ten different notes I want to make about Katsuki and I don’t know where to start SO I’LL JUST START SOMEWHERE!
I’ve legit wanted to see how he would look with his mask pushed up into his hair like a headband for the longest fucking time (I don’t know why! I just wanted to see it!) so this. is. Christmas for me omg. if only he wasn’t making one of his (◣д◢) faces and was instead making a normal face. but that’s probably too much to ask of him at THE CRACK OF DAWN, which brings me to my next point,
I thought he was a morning person?? [furiously checking headcanon notes] kid you go to bed at 8pm. you have your full eight hours by four in the fucking morning. and the full nine and a half hours that GROWING BOYS ACTUALLY NEED by 5:30am, which is when I always assumed you typically woke up in order to get in your morning workout and BEAST IT UP IN THE PIT or whatever gym people do. yet here you are, half dead, while Deku and Burnin’ are raring to go. were you just burning the midnight oil and that’s why you’re grumpy? WAS IT THE FANFIC AGENCY RESIDENCES SHENANIGANS, OH MY GOD I CAN’T
lastly, look at that unzipped collar. why is it that the more disheveled he looks the more I want to pile him up in a headlock and give him noogies. I love him so fucking much, this is ridiculous, he was only gone for two weeks but it felt like SEVENTEEN YEARS anyway
so Burnin’ is all “catch any villains faster than Endeavor yet, LOL, LIKE THAT COULD EVER HAPPEN!!” and they’ve been putting up with this trolling for a fucking week now huh. no wonder Katsuki’s ready to pack it in and sleep for the next year
motherfucker holy shit
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sure thing coach. Todoroki Shouto out here ready for the morning huddle. BRING IT IN! ONE TWO THREE PLUS ULTRA
meanwhile Katsuki better keep his hair like that for the rest of the arc now. the collar too. I am living for this
what is Shouto doing with his hands
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are you blowing a kiss. or beckoning toward her like Neo in the Matrix. are you channeling your inner Iida. wtf is this
this one panel perfectly encapsulates everything I love about this OT3 dynamic oh my god
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Katsuki screaming at Todoroki that he’s better than him (based on impeccable, flawless logic). Shouto completely disregarding this and calmly continuing to have a normal conversation at a normal person volume. and Deku ignoring them both while sending the chipperest, most positive energy in the world out toward this other person because he loves everyone!!
and now there’s three closeups of the boys showing how worn out they are
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they’ve been working so hard I’m so proud of them and also they totally deserve a night off to go gorge themselves on soba at Toderly Manor
and then there’s a whole nother page continuing to establish that it has been a week! and they’re working hard! and YES, WE KNOW, though
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yep yep yep we get it now WHAT ABOUT THAT DINNER oh my god. it’s been four pages! and if we’re only getting thirteen again then this is precious real estate we’re just wasting here, come onnnnn
so Endeavor is continuing to show off how great he is while the kids look on in frustration
heh but I like this panel because LOOK AT THEM
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ALL THREE OF THEM CAN FLY (basically). I love it. yes. just let them be airborne for the rest of the series
meanwhile Endeavor’s thinking agitated thoughts about how Fuyu wants him to try and CONNECT TO THE CHILDREN ON AN ACTUAL EMOTIONAL LEVEL, like what do you think he is?? a human being??!
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lol he’s got that look like “WHY DON’T YOU JUST KILL ME NOW AND BE DONE WITH IT.” things he would rather do than have a family dinner with his kids and his two new apprentices: literally. anything. else. ah, but Endeavor. no one said the path of Not Being A Bastard would be easy
he’s thinking about how happy Fuyu sounded on the phone, though. “the thought of us finally becoming a real family...” c’mon Enji you can’t just let your only daughter down like that
and also me. you better not fucking let me down. I was promised dinner at Todoton Abbey and DAMN IT THIS IS HAPPENING
lol he’s getting all fired up and the kids are just mindlessly yelling back like “FUCK YEAH”
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even the guy in the background’s like “YEAHHHHHHH LET’S DO ITTT.” the best part is how not a single one of them has any clue what they are loudly agreeing to
OH MY GOD
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TODOLAND RANCH, AT LONG LAST. YESSSSS
lmao Kacchan
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“it’s not too late!” he is so desperate, bless him. all he wanted was to curl up in his room with a bowl of spicy ramen after a long day and watch old All Might clips on Youtube while blissfully not interacting with a single other soul. and now instead they’ve dragged him to fucking Todo-a-Lago for dinner with his boss, his two best friends who he hates, and SOMEONE’S SISTER. what a nightmare
FUYUMIIIIII
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worst part is, I don’t think Kacchan will be able to resist Fuyu’s Kind Elementary School Teacher Energy at all. he’s totally screwed. -- OH MY GOD, IS HE HIDING
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like, I know this is the Todoroki drama chapter and that��s where my focus should be, and I’M SORRY, but you guys all know what you signed up for by this point, right? you can read a million other Todo hot takes on tumblr today, but this will forever be the blog that spends paragraphs and paragraphs obsessing over Kacchan hiding behind the door frame and sulking and asking “why though?” in increasingly petulant tones like a four-year-old because SOMEONE DRAGGED HIM TO A SOCIAL EVENT and this is his personal hell! Fuyu’s gonna end up having to manually feed him chicken like Satou did at the party
meanwhile now that I’m actually READING THE REST OF THE PANEL LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, I have to pause for a moment to let my heart break over Deku saying that he hardly ever gets invited over by friends. hey Deku come here for a moment, I just have to give you a dozen hugs real quick and then you can continue as you were
anyway so guys I literally owe Todoroki Fuyumi my life and I want to send her flowers with a “THANKS FOR SAVING THE MANGA” card but it’ll have to wait until the chapter is done. let’s continue
NATSU’S HERE TOO, SHOUTO SAW HIS SHOES, OH M Y GO D
AHHHHHHHHHHHHH
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(ETA: shout out to Natsu for wearing the greatest shirt of all time and taking Deku’s rookie-tier gags to THE NEXT LEVEL!)
I LOVE EVERYTHING. I’M SOBBING. BLESS YOU HORIKOSHI. LET THE GAMES BEGIN!!
holy shit Deku
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Alton fucking Brown over here. chill my dude
NATSU BRINGING THAT DRAMA YESSSS
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and look how oblivious Deku is to the general vibe settling in here
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what the fuck do you see. you just literally had no idea how else to respond to that, huh
oh my god oh my fucking god
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(ETA: I’m laughing so hard and I’ll explain in the tags. sob.)
guys let me just break down these two panels for you
1. Fuyu is all “NATSU YOU COOKED TOO”
2. Shouto is all “WTF, I ATE NATSU FOOD AND NO ONE FUCKING TOLD ME”
3. Natsu is all “YOU PROBABLY DIDN’T BECAUSE... THAT MAN PROBABLY WOULDN’T ALLOW IT”
how the fuck is there drama brewing over the fucking cooking. this fucking family. and Shouto’s face is two seconds away from being my new icon omg
LMAO
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SO YOU TWO FINALLY FUCKING CONNED ON TO THE DANGEROUS SITUATION YOU’VE FOUND YOURSELVES IN, HUH. that’s right bitches. welcome to Todo’s Landing
and now Fuyu has finally made a FATAL ERROR IN JUDGEMENT oh no. that error being trying to fall back on Shouto of all people to ease the awkward tension. that boy literally is made up of awkward tension. right down to his atoms. Fuyu what were you thinking??
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FUYUMI: [SLAMS HANDS ON TABLE] “SHOUTO WHAT KIND OF FOOD DO YOU EAT AT SCHOOL!!!!”
SHOUTO: [LEAPING TO HIS FEET] “AT THE CAFETERIA!!!!”
someone help me I’m fucking dying. actually, you know what, help them
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“yo Deku, do you wanna get the fuck out of here right now.” “yes, yes I do.” turns out, they didn’t really need that internship anyway. maybe they can still convince the centipede man to take them instead
holy shit
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like, I feel so bad for him, but also Fuyu looks so fucking sad and I can’t?? this is too much, and things haven’t even gotten spicy yet. this arc is going to leave me a wreck
DSFKSLDFJLK
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“it’s okay,” Horikoshi says comfortingly, “here’s a panel of your two good boys helping clean up.” WELL THANK YOU, EXCUSE ME FOR A MOMENT, I’M GOING TO GO SIT. and think about Katsuki being a fucking gentleman whose momma raised him right and who helps clean up the dishes after being invited over for dinner. never mind that he didn’t even help clean up the Christmas party. but he saw Fuyu being sad and immediately went MY GOD, I’VE GOT TO DO SOMETHING TO HELP THIS STUPIDLY NICE LADY
anyway so are you two going to ask Endeavor why his kids hate him so fucking much. or just ignore it because you pretty much know the gist already because Shouto can’t keep a lid closed on anything
OH MY GOD THEY’RE HAVING A SECRET CONVERSATION ABOUT IT
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FFFFFFFdfsLK -- “YOU GUYS WERE TALKING ABOUT IT RIGHT NEXT TO ME, ON ACCOUNT OF I WAS STANDING RIGHT THERE, IN THE SHADOWS, BECAUSE I WAS EAVESDROPPING, SHUT UP”
anyways so did you guys know that Deku and Kacchan having whispered conversations about how dramatic the fucking Todorokis are is my all-time aesthetic. I didn’t know either actually. but it is
Fuyu why are you apologizing to Shouto for making him help clean up
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AND WHY ARE YOU PERSISTING IN MAKING THAT FACE. SON OF A BITCH. GIRL I’M BRINGING YOU SOME ICE CREAM AND SOME DVDS. WE’RE GONNA HAVE A SLEEPOVER AND FORGET ALL ABOUT THIS SHIT. PLEASE FEEL BETTER. I’M SORRY YOUR TWIN BROTHER IS DEAD AND YOUR WISH TO HAVE A NORMAL FAMILY IS NEVER GOING TO FUCKING COME TRUE BECAUSE WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS OMG
oh my god she’s having a heart to heart with Shouto about how he feels about Endeavor. oh my god I see Horikoshi aiming a bow right at my fucking heart. he’s notching the fucking arrow, this is it, it’s been real you guys
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that look in his one visible eye. god. there it is. oh god. hurts
(ETA: do you suppose all of the Todorokis have secretly had that exact same dream. we know Fuyu has, and Rei as well based on her letter. I’m starting to think that Shouto has too. it only makes sense that a boy who was denied a real childhood for the first fifteen years of his life is going to have some part of him that secretly longs to just have a normal family. in related news, Shouto had better get some fucking hugs in this arc!)
-- ARE YOU SERIOUS
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WHAT IS IT WITH HORIKOSHI LATELY AND BEING DONE WITH JUST IMPLYING THINGS AND NOW VERY INTO SHOWING THEM IN EXPLICIT HORRIFYING DETAIL. HERE’S A DEAD DOG! HERE’S A DYING CHILD! HERE’S A SIX-YEAR-OLD WHOSE MOM JUST POURED SCALDING WATER ON HIS FUCKING FACE AND SHE DIDN’T MEAN TO BUT IT’S TOO LATE AND NOW THEY’RE BOTH TRAUMATIZED. AND SHE’S USING HER QUIRK TO HEAL HIM AND HELLO, THIS ONE PANEL IS ABOUT TO MAKE ME START CRYING. KATSUKI YOU WERE RIGHT. WHY, THOUGH
(ETA: yeah this does not bode well for an upcoming flashback in which a child was presumably burned the fuck alive. feels like Horikoshi was testing the waters to see how much he could get away with. we may be in for some brutal shit pretty shortly.)
OH MY GOD A LETTER
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they’re going to discharge her soon!?? IMMINENT FEELINGS INBOUND. I HAVE NO MORE SPACE TO PUT THEM!! MY HOUSE IS PACKED WITH FUCKING FEELINGS ALREADY, PLEASE
ahhhh he says he doesn’t know
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this is the most realistic fucking thing I’ve read in this manga to this date. not knowing how you feel about the abusive parent who did so much harm but is now trying to change. boyyyyy howdy I feel that in my fucking bones. Horikoshi is out there delivering the real shit. goddamn
KATSUKI MY HERO
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it’s as though Horikoshi placed his hands on his shoulders and said “listen up sonny boy, I’ve got an important job that only you can do. defuse this tension. in any way you can.” and Katsuki looked him dead in the eye and said “I got this”
meanwhile Deku’s hoping he can spontaneously develop another new quirk which will open up a hole in the ground to swallow him up
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DEKU: “I HAD PERMISSION!!!” KACCHAN: “I DIDN’T HAVE SHIT!!”
HE IS BITCHING LIKE A DISGRUNTLED HOUSEWIFE HOLY SHIT I’M LOSING MY MIND
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“A NORMAL, PLEASANT EVENING!!” yes of course, that’s why you spent the entire ride over here clinging to Todoroki’s shirt and repeating “WHY” ad infinitum. anyways as usual this child is a nightmare whose fickle tirades absolutely no one deserves to be subjected to, god bless him and I adore him so
and Deku is again apologizing for him like they’re fucking married. this chapter is filled with so many highs and lows for me, it’s wild
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this, to be clear, is one of the highs. god I love it
oh shit it looks like Deku’s getting ready to say something! SOMETHING WISE, I BET
YESSSSSSS
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IS HE?? sometimes this kid can just peer into other people’s souls with perfect clarity, it’s uncanny
oh my god Shouto’s face
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genuine shock. he doesn’t even know how he feels, but somehow Deku is able to cut right to the heart of it
oh my god Katsuki’s there to chime right in too and say “but if you feel like he doesn’t deserve forgiveness that’s fucking fine too”
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this is actually incredibly fucking supportive? anyway so guys have I mentioned within the last five seconds how much I love Bakugou fucking Katsuki. I have? well that’s okay I’ll just say it again anyway. and also I love Deku and Shouto too oh my god. bless this chapter
oh lol nevermind that still Deku talking while Katsuki is just making faces. well he’s doing his best. anyways so like I said I love Midoriya fucking Izuku
(ETA: [chinhands] do you guys think. that perhaps. Midoriya Izuku might be harboring some unresolved feelings regarding his own absent daddo. maybe. ??? why does this chapter have so many layers??)
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ah I see, Katsuki spied Natsu just STANDING THERE LISTENING IN THE DARK, as one does, and that’s why the face
and also YES, Shouto is like the kindest fucking person in the whole series possibly. thank you for acknowledging that?? I’m in the process of arranging all of these new feels into a comfy little pile now, so maybe I can curl up in them. if Horikoshi insists on delivering more and more
SLDKFJSLDKFLSHGLKJKLJSLGKJSDLFKSDLFKJLSDKJFLKSL
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“THE OTHER CHILD WHO’S NO LONGER THERE” RED ALERT, RED FUCKING ALERT, IT’S REALLY HAPPENING, HOLY FUCKING SHIT. REMINDER TO SELF, NEXT THURSDAY I’M GONNA HAVE TO GO ON A SELF-IMPOSED INTERNET HIATUS FOR TWENTY-FOUR HOURS BECAUSE FANDOM’S GOING TO LOSE THEIR FUCKING SHIT WITH THE SPOILERS NEXT WEEK AND I’M NOT EVEN MAD
sdfhk. oh my god. and so it was a photograph! but one which appears to be a segue into a flashback! and the law of escalating tragic flashbacks states that Touya’s is somehow going to be even more horrific than our last flashback, in which, let me just think back for a sec, oh yes, an entire family was massacred and torn into bloody chunks including a six-year-old girl and a dog, and the surviving child was then adopted by a psychopath who adorned him with severed hands and was all “NEVER FORGET HOW FUCKED UP YOU FEEL ABOUT ALL THIS” and then the child murdered some people to feel better about himself. so this is somehow going to be worse than that. well that’s just. ...I don’t even know. I literally can’t think of a lighthearted way to end that train of thought lmao. WE ARE FUCKING SCREWED. get ready to burn, baby
but meanwhile, parting thoughts
so they really do believe he’s dead. that’s confirmed. and he died (or, well, “died”) young, too, based on this picture and on the toys on that shelf. fffff
Endeavor kneeling at a family shrine to pay respects to his dead son and miserably wishing he was still alive is just. repeated stabbings of my already mutilated heart. thanks. thanks for that
he heard EVERYTHING and he’s saying nothing, because what can he say?? I meanwhile have already said “oh my god” about 1600 times in this recap, but I’ll go ahead and say it again anyway one last time because oh my god, the fucking Todofam AND THEIR FUCKING DRAMA!!!
what can I do for my family at this stage? the last plea of a desperate man struggling to make amends and piece together something he’s already shattered into a million pieces. he keeps dreaming of them being happy together, even if he’s not in the dream. he wants to do right by them, finally. but he doesn’t know how. anyways so people have been saying and saying that this arc so far has been death flag after death flag for this old coot, and you know what, they’re fucking right. this does not have a happy ending. this is going to be fucking devastating. and here I am, fully obsessed with it. fuck me
anyways I guess that’s finally everything I can think of to say. this recap is already a million fucking words so that’s fine lol. why though
210 notes · View notes
baelllamyblake · 6 years
Text
Ask Nicely. ( Billy Hargrove x Reader )
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Request : Can I request a billy Hargrove x reader fix where reader is the new kid and has a photographic memory and like everyone thinks that reader is a slacker because nobody ever sees her studying but when the test scores come back Billy’s just like “wtf how did you get a perfect score when you literally do nothing” lol thanks love ya
Pairing : Billy Hargrove x fem reader
Word Count : 1,709
Warnings : none except for curse words and writers block writing ugh
A/N : okay so an anon asked me when i will write the billy fic they requests and i am PRAYING to that this is the one they asked for. if it’s not, please let me know !! also, if yall out there have photographic memory and this aint anything like it, i am so sorry i did like no research at all. also keep requesting !! this one was really fun to write !! 
FEEDBACK IS GREATLY APPRECIATED SO PLS FCK ME UP WID IT<3
“ Hey, why aren’t you studying? “ An unfamiliar voice piped up from besides you, your eyes shifted from the tall trees outside to the sudden blue eyes that belonged to your deskmate. People say that the eyes are the window to soul but these were locked tight. His earring swung slight from side to side, its silvery sheen reflecting the light off whenever it hit that perfect angle. His brown and weathered leather jacket contrasted wonderfully with his maroon shirt on underneath. You had never seen someone so hardened and intimidating in your life but you would never be able to wipe Billy’s face from your memory.
In fact, you could remember every word, feature, and image that you’ve come in contact with. Your brain just didn’t let you forget, it absolutely refused too! Your psychologist called it “ photographic memory “ after the countless MRIs and the many short stories she had you recite back to her. It got to be a hefty burden when you developed a love for books and reading them for fun was nearly impossible. It became downright tortuous when you accidentally walked in on your parents having sex one day.
However, you fully reaped the benefits your photographic memory had to offer. You managed to breeze through middle school by getting your friends to distract the teacher and you memorizing his or hers answer key before every major test. If only you hadn’t moved across the country, you could’ve still been living it up with your closest friends in California. Now, you’re the new kid in a Podunk town with a RadioShack as the most advanced part of the main street. Other than that, it’s nothing more than a miniscule dot on a giant road map.
“ Why do you care? “ You spat out, your eyebrows knitting together in response to Billy’s dumb question. Before he could retaliate with a disdainful insult, the bell rung sonorously around the classroom. You never actually gave him a reason as to why you slacked off and it already began to eat away at Billy. You disappeared like a ghostly apparition with the rush of kids bustling out the doorway. He groaned out defeated, Billy wasn’t going to stop until he got what he wanted.
“ How in the fuck are you passing, Y/N? You’re a fucking lazy shitbird. “ Billy snapped, his eyebrows furrowed in repressed anger. His eyes were glued to the A+ written in red ink at the too of your test. You got a brief glance at his paper before he folded it out of sight in shameful embarrassment. A C- was marked in the corner, you could see the outline of the letter bleeding through the back of the page.
“ I’m not sure but if you asked nicely, I’ll consider telling you my secret and maybe even help you out. How about we talk about it over milkshakes or something? “ You teased the wavy-haired boy, a flirty wink following suit. It was highly unlikely Billy was going to accept your offer. His pride was far too large for him to swallow in one gulp.
“ Forget about it, Y/N. I am not asking you for help. “ Billy seethed quietly, his strong arms crossed firmly over his chest. You stuck your lip out in a childish pout, pretending to be offended by his remark. Your cute puppy dog eyes weirdly struck a chord in Billy, the corner of his eyes crinkled in disgust as he tried to cooly play it off.
“ Suit youself, Billy. Have fun getting C’s the rest of the year. “ You taunted him with the idea of getting better grades. His dad would finally get off his ass about the C’s and D’s dotted on his report cards. Billy leaned back in his chair without replying, his arms still crossed and his eye stuck at the front of the room. You let out a breathy chuckle at how boyish he was acting, how unusual of him. “ I’ll let you think about it. See ya around. “
—————
You sat at a cafeteria table away from the crowds, chattering with your closest friends about the all the newest music coming out. Billy eyed you warily from afar, he desperately needed the help and Billy just couldn’t humble himself to walk up to you. The nervousness growing in his chest made him angry, this has never happened with a girl. There’s no fucking way that he actually liked you, you were a lowlife slacker with no initiative.
Yet, you were a slacker with a class rank of 6.
“ Ah, fuck it. “ Billy grumbled lowly, his stomach doing a backflip with every step he took towards you. Billy never took the time to examine all your features in class, he was too busy constantly rolling his eyes at your teasing. You were laughing A warmth nipped at the back of Billy’s neck, you caught his eye from across the way and waved happily with a gorgeous smile of your face.
“ Hey King, what’re you doing so far away from your pack of wolves? “ You articulated, your eyes wandered to the rest of his group. They were watching Billy’s every move with intent, probably wonddering if he was asking you out. Your attention shifted back to Billy, his hand was rubbing the back of his neck while his boot tried to grind its way into the white tile below.
“ I can’t believe I’m asking you this but will you please study with me? I’ll take you out or some frilly shit like that. “ Billy sighed, his heart drowned out the surrounding noise like a loud drum beating in his ears. The fear of you literally being able to see his heart bouncing around in his ribcage only accelerated his heartrate. “ Please, I’m desperate, Y/N. “
It almost amused you to see how jittery Billy was to leave, is that sadistic? You hoped not. He was growing more and more uncomfortable with every second Billy stood in front of you and your friends. All eyes were either on you or on Billy, lungs were waiting in bated breath for your response.
“ I’d thought you’d never ask. Where do you want me to meet you? “ You commented smugly, your eyes playfully slitting at Billy.
“ Whatever. Just meet me at my car. “ Billy huffed out, sweet relief flooding his mind and body as he sauntered off. Your eyes trailed down his back and stopped at his ass that was practically sculpted by the Greek Gods. He ran a through his hair in sheer stress before being hounded with questions by his friends. Your friends squealed in delight, immediately asking for your intentions with him.
“ A bitch just might make a move. “
_____________
“ Okay, Y/N, I think it’s time you tell me your stupid secret or else I’ll make you regret it. “ Billy spoke his empty threat with that signature smirk on his face. You sipped on your chocolate milkshake with a grin, Billy’s homework in your free hand.
“ Oo, I’m so scared, Billy! “ You exhorted, setting down the glass and sarcastically waving your hand in the air. Your brain soaked up his math work, a lot of it was wrong. No wonder he was doing so badly in Mr. Michael’s class. “ If you really want to know so badly, go get me a menu. “
“ Why? I already bought you lunch. “ Billy questioned dubiously, his eyebrows raising in confusion. You shifted your attention from the paper to Billy. God, he’s so fucking cute, why can’t he stop that?
“ Just do it, okay? I swear there’s a method to my madness. “ You digressed, your hand waving to shoo Billy away. He let out a loud groan before forcing himself out of the booth and retrieving the 50’s themed menu. Billy handed you the menu and plopped down on the bench seat, his suspiciouns were growing periodically. Just what were you doing?
“ Okay, I’m done looking at it! “ You chimed happily as you shut the menu within seconds after reading it over. You slid it in front of Billy, your eyes glued to his. “ Ask me what’s on the menu and you shall receive, Billy. “
“ I just got it like thirty seconds ago, Y/N. Don’t tell me you memorized all of it? That’s humanly impossible. “ He observed your confident body language, you knew all twenty items on that menu. Billy could see it by the shining twinkle in your E/C eyes. “ What’s number 16? “
“ Number 16 is the Hop-A-Long Burger. It’s topped with barbeque sauce, onion rings, and cheddar cheese. It also costs 50 cents. “ You declared, a cheesy smile grew on your face. This was only the start. Billy’s eyes turned to slits, how was that fucking possible? “ Give me a more difficult one. I want a challenge. “
“ What were the answers on the math test we had two weeks ago? “ Billy quiered interested, a triumphant smile curling on his features. How about that for a challenge?
“ A, B, D, B, C, A, A, D, B, C, Need I go on? “ You listed off ancouple of the answers when you could’ve named all of them off but you didn’t want to show off more than you already were. Billy looked as if he was blown away, his mouth hung slightly agape. He had never met someone with such an expansive mind. “ I have a photographic memory, Billy. I can remember everything I see like how handsome your smile is and that you’re left-handed. There’s a freckle on your ring finger too. “
“ That’s creepy how you know that but that’s weirdly tubular. I dig it. “ Billy admitted, a content smirk on his face. No wonder you were so smart yet so lazy, you didn’t have to put in any effort at all. He could finally die in peace and it took half a year! You’re so stubborn! “ Let’s do this again. I’ll take you somewhere nicer next time. “
372 notes · View notes
plantanarchy · 6 years
Text
Plant Care 101: The Basics
It’s kind of hard to give a super basic guide to plant care because plants are super diverse and have varying care requirements BUT there are some things that every plant needs and that you can apply pretty broadly to caring for plants. This is going to be focused on container plants and houseplants more than plants in the ground/garden because that’s a whole other can of worms, but yeah, anyway, here’s some quick tips for beginner plant ownership.
1. LIGHTING - Think about where you’re actually going to put your plants
... before you get them (ideally). All plants need light. No plant will live in a windowless bathroom or basement (I mean unless you have grow lights BUT that’s another story). Very few plants will survive in a dark, dim corner.
Figure out which direction your house faces! Different plants do best in different light exposures.  Afternoon sun (west) is hotter than morning sun (east) and can dehydrate plants faster or cause sunburn. Southern exposures get the most direct sun, and northern exposures get mostly indirect sun or no sun. And obstacles like trees or awnings will potentially block light as well.
Full sun is considered 6+ hours of direct sun, part sun is 2-4 hours of direct sun, and shade is less than two hours of direct sun. Keep in mind the sun intensity will vary depending on your location and the time of year.
A lot of houseplants prefer “bright, indirect light”. In a window that gets hot, direct sunlight like a south or west window, this could mean putting up a sheer curtain or keeping the plants farther away from the window. East windows generally get bright indirect light all year and north windows may not be bright enough for most except the lowest light plants.
Get plants to suit your space! Do some research! If you have trouble identifying the plants that you already have, try google image searching using various details about it. Sometimes that works.
2. POTS AND SOIL - Think about your plant’s house
Your plant’s house is its pot. When you bring it home from the store or nursery, it’s a good idea to replant it. The soil that’s best for keeping the plant alive in the store is usually different than the soil that’s best for it in your house. Especially if you’re getting your plants from stores like Home Depot, Lowes, Wal-mart, etc (it’s gross). Taking a look at a plant’s roots is important! A lot can hide under the surface of the soil...
I can’t really recommend a specific soil brand because everything varies regionally and every plant is going to have different soil needs, so really this is just trial and error. Try out different soils! Experiment with perlite which will make your soil looser and drain better. For succulents, I use a mix of topsoil (not potting soil), sand, and perlite.
You generally want your generic potting soil to A) absorb some moisture but B) drain well. Which may seem contradictory, but it isn’t, I promise.
As for your pot..... DRAINAGE HOLES ARE A MUST. If your pot doesn’t drain, you can put your plant in a plastic insert and remove that to water it, you can attempt to add your own drainage holes, or you can doom your plant to slow and inevitable death. If your pot does have drainage holes, test it first to see if it actually drains.
Increase the size of your plant’s pot only a few inches at a time. Tiny plants in giant pots aren’t ideal, mainly because the soil dries down inconsistently. The soil around the edges may be dry but soil at the roots may still be wet. Also, don’t plant your plants too low! The soil should stop about an inch or so below the top of the pot. Planting too low can cause issues with air circulation to the stem/soil which can cause rot issues. (tbh I’ll probably make a specific post about repotting plants because there are a lot of things to know and a lot of tips and tricks)
As for the type of pot, that’s up to you. Plain terracotta pots are helpful for plants that like to dry down between waterings because they wick moisture from the soil...  not as ideal for plants that love lots of water. Also, there’s no shame in plain, plastic pots. None.
3. WATERING - please don’t drown your thirsty boys
This one’s the hardest to do an overview of because different plants and even the same plants in different locations have vastly different watering needs.
Plants (usually) only take up water when the photosynthesize. Less light = less photosynthesizing = less water taken up. Cloudy day? Less water taken up. In the greenhouse, we generally don’t water on cloudy days because the plants don’t take up as much water and because water sitting on the leaves/soil doesn’t evaporate as quickly potentially leading to rot issues.
You can usually visually tell if the soil is dry. To be more sure that the soil is really dry, poke your finger in about an inch. To be more, more sure, you can wiggle a wooden chopstick in the soil and if it comes out dry, the soil is dry. Some plants prefer to dry down almost completely before watering again, some prefer about 30-50%, some like to stay moist but not drowning.
If your plant appears to be wilting, check the soil. If it’s wet, it may be overwatered or sick. Don’t water for a bit and check the stem/roots for rot. If it’s dry, it’s likely underwatered. Very dry soil can take a few repeat waterings to actually absorb moisture again.
It is better to water deeply infrequently than to water in small amounts more frequently. Your goal when watering is to dump in enough water that it flows vigorously out of the drainage holes. When I first started watering plants I thought it was way too much but seriously, dump that water in there. No trickles allowed.
4. PLANT ISSUES - wtf is wrong with my plant
You’re going to run into plant issues when keeping plants, that’s just how it is. Diseases, bugs, rot, etc.
There are WAY too many issues to get into in a basic post like this, but in general.... pay attention to your plant! Look at the undersides of the leaves and leaf tips and the stem. Take lots of pictures! Touch your plant and the soil! Keep an eye out for changes.
If your plant does develop what you think is an issue, google is your friend. I’ve googled so much of the stuff I know about plants, even when I’m working with very experienced growers. Google is good. Don’t rely solely on one source of info.
And if your plant unfortunately kicks the bucket? No, you don’t have a black thumb. There is no such thing. That’s especially a time to google the shit out of that plant and re-evaluate your growing conditions. I’ve killed LOADS of plants and that was usually because I put a plant in a less than ideal location and then didn’t give it the right care. Or because of bad luck.
There is NO SUCH THING as a black thumb.
I think that’s about it really for the basics. There’s also stuff like pH and humidity and temperature, etc etc to consider but that’s way too much to get into in just one post. Hopefully this makes some kind of sense and isn’t just a wall of text? And is helpful? If you have any other questions, feel free to message me if you’d like. Or add onto this post with other tips if you have them.
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maxhoemo · 6 years
Text
prompt: royalty/arranged marriage
ship: maxian
(wtf did i just write?)
Sometime in the Future....
Ian sighed, scrolling through the internet on his holo-screen. Earth’s own Overlord Jr. was set to be married in only a few days. Something he had absolutely no choice in. He felt he was far too young to be married, especially to someone he hardly knew. She was M’xx, Princess of the planet Diomia. She was known across the galaxy for her beauty, and her oafish clumsiness. That girl walked like she was trying to start an earthquake! But Ian had only seen her a handful of times at diplomatic events. The wedding was completely cynical. 
“Mom!” He remembered arguing. “I don’t wanna marry that loud-mouthed cunt! She get’s totally shit-faced at every event! She’s a complete disaster!”
“Ian, you’ll thank me when you’re the richest and most powerful man in the Universe!” 
Of course, she was right. Ian, known by many as the Google heir, was pretty much destined to marry the Disney heiress herself. And when they did, the couple would effectively own every single company and corporation in the known universe. But come on, weren’t they rich and powerful enough? 
“Miss Google?” Ian asked his super-computer.
“Yes, master?” it answered in a robotic tone, it’s screen (the size of an entire wall of Ian’s room) lighting up as it did. 
“Is Princess M’xx hot?”
“Princess M’xx was voted 7th Sexiest Organism Alive in 4998 and 1st in 5000 and 5002.”
Ian grumbled. He could only imagine some stupid teenage boy, getting his rocks off to the Princess. If only they knew... 
“Image search,” he commanded. Instantly, the screen showed a layout of results. A regular green skinned, purple eye’d space babe. Those short locks of hair perfectly framed her soft face. Even Ian had to admit it. Those big, pouty lips, that thicc round ass. “Okay, okay. She’s hot, I admit it. So what?” At least he’d have exclusive rights to that ass. 
.....
Historic First Ever Earth-Diomia Wedding Could Improve Planetary Relations
While the Galaxy is captivated with Princess M’xx’s dress, or the Overlord-to-Be’s shoes, leaders across Solar Systems are looking forward to the Royal Wedding for other reasons. With Diomia and Earth, historically being at odds with one another, leaders hope that the love between M’xx* and Mr. Carter will bring the two planetary superpowers together. Earth was forced to apologize to Diomia for the Meme Embargo in 4923, resulting in the gifting of the Walt Disney Company and it’s assets to the planet in an attempt to mend their economy. Left in shambled after unfair, inflated Meme Taxes. Princess M’xx has long been known for her dedication to preserving and spreading memes, stating; “It’s hard to imagine a world without memes, but so many across the Galaxy go without. Like clean water and Marvel DVD’s, Memes, at least spicy ones, are a basic right.”   An enquiry conducted by the #DramaAlertJournal found that Earthlings were overwhelmingly supportive of the Princess. Diomian’s however, are mostly skeptical of the marriage. Many raising concern that Mr. Carter possesses an inadequate penis. Either way, the merging of the two planets will effect us all in the months to come.
More Articles: Ian and M’xx’s Million Dollar Wedding Cake, Why the Princess Named “My Name Jeff” Her Favourite Historical Meme, What to Expect From Ian As Overlord
Cameras flashed, reporters and members of the public crowded the couple as they exited the Church. Ian smiled his biggest, brightest fake smile, the alien Princess on his arm. The wedding had been excruciating. Unbearably awkward. But this was going to be even more awkward.
Waving to the crowd, the couple crawled inside the hover-limo. He was about to spend more than an hour, alone with someone he’d never spoken two words to. And of course, that someone now being his wife. 
As the car pulled away, off to the reception, Ian chose to stare silently down at his feet. How much did his parents blow on these shoes? 
“Uhh....” Oh God. M’xx was trying to start a conversation. Ian cringed. “Sorry if that kiss was awkward... I’ve never kissed anyone before....”
Ian forced a laugh, looking over at his bride. “Don’t worry. I don’t think there was any way to have made that kiss any less weird.”
She laughed in return. “Yeah. I didn’t even want this wedding to happen, if I’m honest.”
“What? You think I did?”
“Well... My parents said you did. They kept guilting me with how excited you were.”
“Those lying bastards...” Ian muttered, though his tone remained playful. M’xx giggled. She really did look great today... Her bright purple eyes sparkled as she laughed, and her flower adorned brunette locks clung to each side of her face. But that was just the problem. It was about the only thing he knew about her. M’xx was the Princess of Diomia, she liked memes and every time Ian saw her at an event he pictured himself bending her over a table. But he couldn’t tell anyone what she was like day to day. What the alien liked to eat, or watch, or even a favourite colour. 
“Worst part. They’re going to print close-ups of that awful kiss everywhere!”
“Yeah....”
Over the course of the reception, the couple did get to know each-other. Or rather, speak to each-other and learn superficial facts. Though, Ian had to admit, as the night went on he was becoming more and more comfortable around his bride. Of course, the two were also becoming drunker and drunker. By the time the limo made it’s way back, Ian was all set for a goodnights sleep. That is, before a stern reminder from his parents. “I don’t care if you think it’s embarrassing! It is extremely important you go back to that hotel room and consummate your marriage!”
...
“This hotel room is fucking crazy! It’s enormous!”
“Aren’t you used to being rich yet?” Ian yawned, kicking off his dress shoes. 
“My species doesn’t spend money on luxuries like this.” The Princess explained. The honeymoon suite was not only needlessly large, but fuzzy and pink. Coupled with her green skin, it looked absolutely eye-bleeding. At least to Ian. “Unzip me!” the alien commanded. Ian did, her wedding dress falling to the floor. She flopped down on the sofa, unstrapping her shoes and massaging her swollen feet. Ian was leaning on the arm of the sofa, struggling to shed his many layers.
“Hellooooo Drama Alert Nation!”
“Turn that shit off!” The blare of the TV was already giving him a massive headache. M’xx didn’t listen, just turning the volume down a little instead.
“It’s about us,” she said.
Ian raised an eyebrow, glancing at his own picture on screen. He plopped down beside the bride, admittedly curious. 
“But was the marriage a set-up?” asked the Gnomarian host. “For more on that, we go to Xana and Leafy in our New York studio. Guys?”
The scene cut to two anchors in another studio with the same obnoxious hashtag and popcorn branding decorating the walls. A three eyed blonde woman and a typical Grey with emo hair stared into the camera. “Thank you, Keem. Leafy and I attended the wedding, and let me tell you that couple did not seem like they even knew each-other, let alone were in love. ”
“What would that blonde cunt know about love anyways?” Ian scoffed. “She’s the most hateful bitch on the planet!”
“I didn’t even know they were there....”
“I hate this whole news network. It’s just a bunch of gossip.”
“I kinda like Leafy.... “
“Ugh! Why!?”
“He tells it like it is.”
“He’s just an insecure jackass...”
“....Couldn’t agree more, Leafy. If Ian lost all his money and broke both his legs, I would be genuinely happy. Now, talking about the kiss...” 
Like an instant reflex, M’xx switched the TV off as soon as he saw a glimpse of the kiss photo. “No fuckin’ way!” Tossing the remote away, she lifted one leg onto the sofa so she could lean against her knee. “This is so much more stressful than I thought it would be....”
Ian turned to her. The way she was sitting drew his gaze to her crotch. The sheer-white panties left nothing to the imagination. Though, not quite what Ian had been expecting.
“Why are you staring at my penis?”
“I just.... Didn’t expect you to have one....” He looked back to her face, a perplexed look crossing her features.
“Why?”
“Well, I.... I just....”
“Everyone on my planet has a penis....”
Ian blinked. Couldn’t anyone have given him a little information before the wedding? How was he supposed to know that? Even Drama Alert didn’t know. “Then why are you a Princess?” Why would a species like that use gender’d terms? 
“Princess is just a rough translation. It’s easier than saying, ruler with one penis.”
“What the fuck are you talking about? No offence, but your species if fucking stupid.”
“Fuck up. Your species is way fucking worse than mine....” 
“Are you even a she? Or a he? Or what do I call you?”
M’xx shrugged. “Doesn’t matter. Those words don’t exist in my language.”
“Well... Do you feel like a guy or a girl?”
“What a stupid question. I feel like a Diomian with one penis. I’m a Princess, but that doesn’t make me an Earth-girl.”
“Wait.... Does that mean other Diomian’s have more than one...?”
M’xx’s eyes widened a little. “You mean... You don’t have more than one!?”
“No!”
“I’ve only ever seen porn with a one-penised one and a four-penised one. I wasn’t expecting this to be a same-penis number marriage.....”
“Me either....”
“What were you expecting?”
“Well. I guess I just assumed you had a pussy. Course, you’re not even from Earth I don’t know why I’d assume that. But if you all have dicks, how do you have kids?”
“What do you mean? The couple spits in a tube and sends it to the lab, where they grow the baby.... What the fuck is a pussy!? I thought this was an Earth creature! Like a Pokemon. ”
Ian sighed. “Miss Google....” The hotels computer lit up. “Image search Earth Woman.... Uhh, painting...” He didn’t want to freak M’xx out with some pornographic image. The computer pulled up an Ancient stature of some Goddess, her name lost to time. The Princess tilted her head, staring at the image in utter confusion.
“There’s nothing there!” Ian just shrugged in response. Ian was not going to go all into human anatomy right now. “Disney-Assist!” M’xx’s watch lit up. He held it up, showing off it’s projected holographic planet. “Image search, Diomian penis!” Ian’s eyes practically bulged out of his head at the series of images suddenly flashed before his eyes. It was horrible! Like a nightmare! Green, lumpy penises. On top of each-other, growing out of one another.... It was downright disgusting... Was he going to have to look at something like....
“T-take off your panties... Show me your dick....”
M’xx giggled. “If you insist!” He turned his watch off, standing before Ian and wiggling his hips. Sliding down the lacy panties, his penis spring out as he did. Ian felt relieved. It was an ordinary, human looking penis. Well, apart from being mint green. Still, nothing Lovecraftian. “What do you think?”
“It’s very nice...”
“That didn’t sound very enthusiastic.”
“Sorry. I’m tired....”
“But it’s our wedding night. Aren’t we going to at least fuck?”
“Ugh, no. Just.... Put that away and go to sleep.”
“What the hell? You can’t order me around. I’m a Princess, remember?”
“Yeah, and now you’re my wife.”
“So?”
“Don’t you remember your vows, dear? Love, honour and obey?” He asked with a cheeky grin.
M’xx scowled. “Fuck up. I don’t take orders from you, or anybody else!”
“Oh, really?”
“Really!”
The Princess was awfully cute when she was worked up. Ian thought to himself for a moment, concluding maybe he wasn’t as tired as he thought. “So... You don’t take orders, huh M’xx?”
“No.”
“You’re not gonna be a good little bitch, and do what I tell you?”
“Don’t call me a bitch...”
“Give me your panties.” For someone who didn’t like taking orders, M’xx sure obeyed that one fast. “You wanna get fucked?” M’xx nodded. “Then get in bed.” Again, without hesitation, M’xx did as Ian told him. Ian threw off his boxers, climbing on top of his bride. He ran his hands along her smooth, nipple-less chest (different, but not bad, Ian decided.) M’xx shuddered at the touch. “Do you like that?” M’xx bit back a moan, nodding. Purple pupils dilated. Ian took the Princess’s delicate wrists in one hand, tying them to the bar of the bedpost with her panties. “How many of those giant alien dicks have you sucked?”
“None,” M’xx answered honestly. “I only know from porn...”
“That’s okay, that’s okay....” Ian ran his fingers through M’xx’s soft hair. “You’re gonna use all that porn you watched, you slutty little Princess, and suck my Earth-Cock. You wanna be just like those porn star’s, huh?” M’xx nodded. “That’s a good girl,” Ian praised. M’xx would usually find it disrespectful to be referred to with an Earth word like ‘girl’. But being disrespected was turning him on.... Ian shifted, so he was on M’xx’s left, kneeling on the bed. “You better be good, bitch.” M’xx grinned, taking Ian’s dick in his mouth, trying to do just what she remembered. She was relieved honestly. An Earth dick was probably much easier to take in her mouth than the one’s she had seen online. Just as she was getting the hang of it, Ian pushed her off by the forehead.
“Was I doing it wrong...?”
“No, Princess. You’re a natural,” he breathed. “I just... Ever since I first saw you, all I could think about was burying my dick in your juicy fucking alien ass!”
M’xx stared up at him, his mouth forming an o shape. “Really?”
“Yeah... Fuck, it just looks so fucking good in your slutty little outfits...” 
M’xx yelped as Ian entered him. Ian’s dick slid in easily, thanks to the slick alien spit. But M’xx had never been stretched like this before. “Ian...”
“Shh, shh.... Just hang on, I promise...” Ian got a little deeper with each thrust. Hitting M’xx magic spot sooner than he anticipated, judging by the change in expression. Diomian anatomy, he guessed. He felt M’xx relax around him. 
“Fuck... Ian.... That’s.... I never felt anything that good....”
Ian smirked. “That’s why.... You should trust me, Princess. I know what’s best for you better than you do...”
“Mmm....”
He could feel himself getting close. He would have happily cum deep inside M’xx’s ass, but had a better idea. He pulled out, the Princess letting out a whimper at the loss. He gave his dick a few last tugs, cumming all over M’xx’s chest and face.
“W-what.... What is that?” The Princess looked confused, but still blissed out. Of course, they reproduced with spit in a laboratory. They had no reason to ejaculate.
“It’s cum... Try it...” He commanded, untying her.
M’xx, eyes still locked with Ian’s, obeyed. Swiping some from her face with a finger, she tasted it. 
“You like it, bitch?”
“It’s weird....”
“Well, you better get used to it. You’re gonna do what I tell you, aren’t you Princess? And you’re gonna be covered in that a lot more than you aren’t.”
“Oh, really?”
“Fuck yeah.”
“Think again...” Before Ian could even think of a response, the Princess had grabbed his wrists, flipping the two over so he was now in the vulnerable position. She must have been hiding that strength.... “Alright Ian, you pathetic one-penis earth gir-BOY!”
“Come on, M’xx...”
“That’s Princess M’xx, cunt!” She slid upwards, sitting on Ian’s chest. “What the fuck are these?”
“Those are my nipples! And you’re fucking hurting them!”
“Good, they’re fucking weird! Anyways... You’re gonna suck your Princess’s dick!”
“Oh, that’s what you want? Desperate to get off, are we?”
“Shut up! Get on the ground! On your knees. Kneel before your Princess!” She demanded, rolling off. Ian could use the oppurtunity to get back the upper hand, but decided to play along. He kneeled down on the fuzzy pink carpet, M’xx sliding off the bed and looming over him. “Go on,” Just like before, M’xx found himself overwhelmed with the feeling. Who could ever anticipate such a weakening, overload of pleasure. Ian grabbed her ass from behind, and M’xx didn’t complain. Course, it was weird to suck someone off without the ‘big finish’ so to speak. Still, at least M’xx could still orgasm from his dick.
“Mmm.... Ian that was so good....”
“You give a mean one yourself.”
“Is this what love feels like?”
“Umm... Let’s see how we feel about that in the morning....”
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