#i just remembered how endgame ended fuck that bucky deserves better
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I'll never understand why anybody would write so much about something they don't like. it sounds repetitive. is there even anything you enjoyed about fatws? are you planning in watching thunderbolts? if yes then I'm looking at you like this 😬 because how are you gonna critize this company constantly and still giving them money and if you won't watch it then what will this blog about? the thing is, Bucky is not what you want him to be. he's not a babygirl who needs defending, at the end of the day it feels like the character will still going in directions you don't want him to go so what's the point of everything you do? they've been fucking Bucky over since the very beginning, they fucked up his relationships with other people since catws, they sacrificed his amazing storylines from the comics in benefit of Steve's storyline. they haven't respected his autonomy and his right to choose since that movie. remember when Steve followed him and sent Sam to follow him even when bucky didn't want to be found? .. exactly. ever since Bucky is in the mcu, they haven't respected him at all. not a single character has respected his choices, Steve included, this whole thing didn't start with tfatws and i wish everyone could see that instead of saying or thinking that he was good before, no he wasn't, the thing is that their favorite ship was still going (it's still going but i mean in the screen), that's why they can't see how wrong Steve was towards Bucky too, now that Steve is out of the map, some people feel like everything is wrong with Bucky. My pals, i repeat: it's always been wrong, even with Steve in there. Bucky deserved better since the very beginning.
1. Congrats! You just wrote a lot about something you disliked!
2. Your asks are getting repetitive
3. No I haven’t given Disney money since Endgame but thank you for caring about my wallet
4. “What will this blog be about” Oh honey I’ve been blogging since before the MCU existed, this blog is about me and my interests. Do you think this is public service?
Honestly if you want to engage on this topic, you need to put it on your own blog and lay out your reasoning. I’m not a voice for the fandom and I’m not here to argue with you on anyone’s behalf. I’ve said time and again that movie-Bucky was not written as a character but as a plot device for Steve so on some level I agree with you. Other people will see it differently, because that’s the fun thing about fandom. You can choose to invite conversation or yell into the void about it, but do it on your own blog.
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I have so much to say
1.) The first dream I've remembered in ages has presented me with a new book idea. It provided two and a half characters, a vivid setting, and a horse that died. Not how I wanted to wake up Monday morning.
2.) I haven't showered in five days. I feel unclean but am in no mood to get in the shower. I should probably wash my hair.
3.) I absolutely despise JK Rowling. Why? Well, she's a hypocritical, discriminative bitch. Fucking transphobe can leave me the fuck alone.
4.) I love the Harry Potter books. I have started tons of FanFiction, never finished any, and am very excited for the TV show to come out. Because of JK Rowling and myself being genderfluid, I really, really, really wish I could just restrict myself from Harry Potter but I can't. (Please don't come at me with the, "Oh, you're just not trying hard enough." Fuck off, if that's your thought process.)
5.) I desperately want to go to my favorite restaurant, but they're never open when I can go. I grew up there. Daniella, René, and Sabrina are like family to me and Aidan may as well be my brother.
6.) I have to get up early tomorrow morning. I do not want to, but that's how the game is played I guess. Get up early for conditioning, wait, wait, wait until practice in the evening. Then play my tournament this weekend and repeat the process.
7.) My mental health is getting worse. Like, it could be so much worse, but this is probably one of the worst it has been in my lifetime. Though, that isn't really saying too much. I'm either not eating enough healthy and too much unhealthy or more or less not eating at all. I'm dehydrated too and have absolutely not motivation to do anything I don't have to, and even then it is a bit touch and go.
8.) I got my bike tires aired up and have been riding that a lot. Waiting until I can go further than just down the street and back. Riding the bike is freeing. I'm so focused on pedaling and the strokes of my feet that I completely forget to actually think; it's nice.
9.) I got another freedom taken away from me today because I wanted to listen to music outside of the house. It's incredibly frustrating when all I was trying to do was cope with my mental health issues. My mom and dad just don't seem to understand.
10.) I am writing this on borrowed time. Because I had my previous freedom taken away, it's only a matter of time before this disappears too. Wish me luck, I suppose.
11.) I feel very ungrateful for writing this. Like, I know I shouldn't because everyone deserves to vent. But I do feel guilty. I feel ungrateful and guilty and like I should be better than this. Part of the issue I suppose.
12.) I have a new OTP. Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes. Very sweet, and I love them both. Let's just say that my dirty af mind has come up with some interesting situations. And that's saying the least. I guess it's just writer's brain. I really, really, really wish there was a different ending to Avengers: Endgame because it would've fit his character arch so much better. I mean, come on, going back to see a woman that he saw die and then dated her niece? Pretty sure that doesn't fit Cap at all. But coming back, running up to Bucky and pulling him in for a hug (and a kiss*wink wink*) seems to fit Steven Grant "Even when I had nothing, I had Bucky" Rogers pretty well. Prove me wrong.
13.) I hope everyone has a better day then I am having today!
(yes, I stopped at 13 on purpose)
#i have so much to say#harry potter#jkrowling#mental health problems#have a good day honeyloves#stucky#steve rogers x bucky barnes#freedom of riding a bike#leave me alone#please no homophobia/transphobia etc#let me be me
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scorched | s.r. + b.b.
summary: “You utterly destroyed me, you know that? I loved you more than I needed to breathe and you just walked away. I lost everything and you walked away.”
WARNINGS: swearing, angst, violence, a post-endgame rant wrapped up as a fic
pairing: steve x fem!reader, bucky x fem!reader
word count: 7.3k
a/n: inspired by praying by kesha. written for @coffee-with-bucky and her 2k challenge! congrats lyn :) my prompt was “i failed you. i failed everyone.”and i’d be lying if i said i wasn’t inspired by @heli0s-writes and her series “as it was”. check her out! she’s one of my favourite writers on this site!
“She’s not at the compound,” Sam says, not at all surprised to see him and almost resentful, defensive. His phone is still in hand, screen alit from the text Steve sent him a few minutes ago. Everything he left behind is still here by the lake.
Almost everything.
It’s a ghost town.
“But she doesn’t want to see you anyway.”
“Sam—”
“Five hours for you was five, very long years for us,” he continues, but his tone softens when he catches sight of Steve’s face. Absolutely crushed, eyebrows weighed down, shoulders hunched forward, defeated. “She’s different, now. She’s not the woman you left.”
The mere mention of you makes Steve’s heart, already choked with dread, crack.
“And you shouldn’t go, man. It wouldn’t be good for her after all this time.”
Before, maybe Sam would’ve thought of Steve first, but there’s a distance, a yawning gap standing between them now. Sam was here for the bitter consequences of his departure—Steve wasn’t, and he knows they must’ve been shattering, terrifying, because by the way Sam is so cold about it, he doesn’t want to remember it.
“I made a mistake, Sam. I can’t let her go on thinking I don’t regret what I did.” He looks out at the lake where he passed the shield and mantle and responsibilities on to the man before him before he left, and the sun hits the lake so clearly that his breath nearly catches. You loved swimming, propelling circles around him in the blue-green pool at the compound, splashing it into his eyes. Laughing and laughing and laughing because you’re so limber on land but here you’re definitely a fish out of water.
Funny, funny, funny.
“She won’t care.”
“She has to.”
“Look, man. I’m trying to save you some pain.” Sam puts a hand out, hovering before his chest as if he stopped himself, as if he doesn’t even want to touch Steve, and the blond swallows the painful little knot in his throat. “It’s too late, and I know you want to think better late than never, but she’s changed. Things have changed.”
“That won’t stop me from trying,” Steve murmurs, walking around Sam to where a car is parked. His car. The damned car he drove to Tony’s funeral. He’s sure the keys are still in the cupholder beside your old coffee cup. He wonders who drove you home.
Sam? Bucky?
Who held a body with a heart that was tearing apart while he was chasing some fruitless daydream?
“Dude, the woman you knew is gone,” Sam calls, but Steve doesn’t listen. “You need to leave.”
“No, Sam. We made a promise to wait for each other.”
Okay, clause one: we wait for each other no matter what. Clause two: no matter what happens, we promise to work everything out. Clause three: this love is forever. Sign here.
I can’t believe you’re making me sign a fake contract for something we know won’t change, doll.
It’s a real contract because I wrote it, and it’s just for fun, anyway. I would never love anyone else besides you.
“That doesn’t matter. She’s fucking Barnes anyway.”
That stops him in his tracks. Blood freezing over in his body, he turns to look at Sam in his leather jacket and washed jeans, arms crossed tightly over his chest. His eyes are impassive, severe, and dark with blunt honesty.
“Look, they’re happy. So can you just… leave? Go back to the forties. Settle down anywhere but here, because she is happy and so is he. Do you know how long it took for them to even think about trying to move past you?”
“Wait—” The word comes out ripped, hoarse, and he feels the blood drain from his legs as he takes a step back—
“You should just go.”
For a moment, Steve’s eyes, wide and impossibly guilty, shine with tears. At the thought of you with some other man—somehow the possibility never crossed his mind. In his mind, you are the girl who shelters underneath his arm when it thunders, who tucks her face into his chest when the movie is too scary, who peppers his faces with kisses and makes him lemonade after a good training session, who puts flower crowns on his head when they spend a weekend outside the city and makes apple pies so fulfilling he could cry, who would never love another man because you are so wholly, helplessly, in love with him.
And he left you anyway.
So he nods, because he deserves this.
He deserves this, and he leaves.
.
The wind is warm against his cheeks as he tries to think how he ended up here in Puerto Vallarta, although he does know. Sam dropped him off here with a mission that’ll hopefully lead to another, and you can build a new life for yourself, Steve. One without her in it. If you need something, you know you can call me.
An arms deal. He got a tipoff from one of his CIs that it’s happening tonight by the docks, because he needs his own resources now. There is no Ross, no Tony, no Natasha, no one on his side.
His body yearns for a fight, and he gets it when he hears a soft voice down the docks, speaking in British English, just barely over the lap of the ocean. Crouching behind a metal freight container, he tries to distinguish the voices. At least three bodies, all armed, and his target. One of the biggest arms dealers in Britain down here to make a deal.
Steve, darting out from his cover and to the fire escape by the warehouse, catches a glimpse of the silhouettes of the men waiting. Their shadows are long against the concrete of the dock. The metal clangs underneath his boots as he slowly climbs the steps.
“Where is this woman?” the first man asks roughly, impatience laced through his tone as Steve pulls himself onto the roof. Feet pattering over the metal roof of the warehouse, he keeps himself crouched as the warm, golden sunlight filters through the oily heat. He’s sweating through the kevlar suit he’s got strapped on, and droplets beads around his forehead as he adjusts the shield gauntlets along his wrists.
“She said seven, sir.”
“Tardiness,” the man tsks. “We should’ve known better than to deal with the likes of her. What did I say?”
“That you shouldn’t trust an American, sir.”
“Precisely.” Leaning over the roof, Steve spots the man in question speaking, his suit glowing from the lamplight he stands beneath and he grips the edge of the roof, frowning. The buyer and the seller in one foul swoop. A car door slams and he blinks, tearing his eyes away from his count of at least twelve men, three standing around crates and the other around the man complaining.
A woman steps out of the car, pocketing her phone as she walks towards the illuminated circle, and he frowns, narrowing his eyes. Her face is covered by hair that sways with her every step, but her figure is outlined by the fit of her pantsuit. Even through the clothes, he can see the curve of muscle, the purpose in her step.
A dangerous woman.
“Sorry for the hold up,” she calls out, her voice smooth, rich with confidence. Steve frowns as she stops just outside the circle of light, her silhouette illuminated by warm, rusty orange and cloaked in shadow. “You wouldn’t believe the legalities surrounding contraband in America,” she continues teasingly. “Let me see.”
The man jerks his head to one of his henchman by the crates who cracks it open revealing sleek black rifles, laser sights, silver canisters with a bar along the sides: EMPs, grenades of all kinds. “Is it to your satisfaction?”
“It is. I’m docked in bay four. My men will meet yours there,” she says and head honcho nods. It’s a sign for the three men to pick up one crate each and begin their slow trail up the docks. The crates are massive things, hard black metal that softly rattles with every sway and Steve’s ears prick as the woman steps closer, her heels sharp against concrete.
“I assume this concludes our business, ma’am. It has been a profitable few months. I hope you find your new treasures… helpful in your endeavors.”
“Oh, I’d love to keep communications open. You’ve been a wonderful seller, and as you know, I pay handsomely for quality goods.” Despite his previous irritation, the boss seems to straighten, smiling almost as the men around look at each other. Money. It all comes down to money.
“Of course. My London warehouse, as you know, is open to you should you find yourself across the sea.”
“Perfect. Pleasure doing business with you.” It is then that she steps into the light, and Steve’s eyes narrow at the glint of metal on her ears and in her hair as she reaches forward to shake the man’s hand.
And twist it behind his back, using him as a body shield between her and his henchmen. Her other hand goes to her head, pulling out the pin and digging it gently into the man’s throbbing vein at his neck. It sits comfortably in her palm, almost as if it is molded for her and Steve’s muscles tense, blood rushing to his fingertips.
“Shoot her, now.”
“Watch it, Fitz,” hisses the woman, voice low. She digs the tip of the pin deeper. In the washed lamplight, Steve can see the curve of the blade, the hoop her finger slots into. A throwing knife. “I want you out of this situation alive.”
The knife trails down his body to his thigh and she wraps her fingers tighter around the handle.
Schluck.
The man’s scream rings in Steve’s ears as she tosses the man aside, diving to a stack of wooden crates. Wood and stone splinters beneath the force of bullets following at her heels but she simply unclasps one of her earrings, presses a button and throws it over the crates.
There’s a moment of silence as the men stare at the device at their feet before there is an explosion of smoke. He watches as the woman vaults over the crates and sprints into the cloud and Steve leaps off the roof, pumping his arms to activate his shield gauntlets.
The first man he comes into contact with lets out a startled scream as Steve punches his lights out and his blood is singing. Smoke burns at his eyes and thickens in his lungs as he whirls around, spotting a shadow of a man and he runs toward him, sweeping out a leg to take him down before slamming his knuckles into his nose until he’s knocked out cold and there’s a painful grunt behind him, the resounding collapse of a body that has no intention of getting up again.
Bullets whiz past his face, slamming into concrete and flesh as something rushes past him and he grabs the charging man, swinging his whole body weight into his arms and bringing them both crashing into the ground. The smell of sweat leaks into his mouth as he shoves the curve of his shield into the henchman’s stomach. Once. Twice. Thrice.
The man is rolled over, eyes scrunched tight, when Steve gets off of him.
Eyes straining through the smoke, he watches as a shadow charges at two figures, latching onto the first man and striking the geezer behind him with a power kick to the chest with both legs. The second man stumbles back just as the shadow swings her legs back and brings the first man down to the ground.
Natasha.
That was something he’d seen Natasha practice a hundred times over.
The thought makes his blood run cold and he pauses for a moment, the smoke beginning to thin out as she rolls over the first man and takes down the second with two punches to the gut and a knee to the nose.
Natasha.
This can’t be real. No. Natasha is dead.
Unless they brought her back.
No, Sam would’ve told him, wouldn’t he?
He’s not sure anymore.
His throat cinches shut at the thought of the redhead, of the woman who’d been by his side for years, who encouraged him to fall in love with you. Maybe it’s Natasha’s ghost haunting him, taunting him with some lookalike spy, reminding him of his mistake, and he feels himself paralyzed. The memories, the smile of hers before they went back in time— He’d felt so exhausted at the responsibility of it all, the five years of his failure weighing down between his shoulders. It all rushes back to him: your wobbling lips, brave face on his brave girl, fingers digging into his suit, ordering him to come home safe, Natasha’s coy little smile.
See you in a minute.
Strong legs wrap around his abdomen and he lets out a grunt, yanked out of his dazed state as he wrenches the attacker off his back. The woman falls with smack but her fingers dig into his wrists. Her legs wrap around his arm, dragging him down with her.
Steve pitches forward, tumbling forward as she slams his hand into the concrete. His skull collides with the ground and he squeezes his eyes tight, pain blooming from the back of his head. A sharp knee digs into his other elbow and he sucks in a deep breath, eyes fluttering open to a blurry face.
“No.” The word comes out choked and he blinks against the streetlight, eyebrows furrowing together and the weight vanishes off of him. “It can’t be.” Sitting up, he feels his head swim in a dull ache, world tilting as the woman takes a step away from him. “What the fuck are you doing here?”
The words ring in his ears, cold, wretched, and he jerks his head up to see your face drained of blood, lips parted, eyes wide. Your shoulders are shaking, chest heaving for air and it rattles in your lungs. Steve can hear your heart pounding, your throat swallowing nothing but wet air.
“Y/N—” He soaks in your figure, the muscle, the confidence, the sharp lines where everything had been soft. You don’t even look too different—you just feel different. He used to sink into your arms thinking of golden sunlight and soft pillows. Now, when he looks at you, he thinks of serrated edges, ironwire bones. You’ve lost your heels in the fight, but you look taller than he’s ever seen you. “You’re… it’s you.”
“Steve.” For a moment, your voice is choked up and your expression softens as you scan his face, but then you tear your eyes away. Your hair is chopped shorter for practicality, just barely past your shoulders. It suits you. Suits the girl he loves, the girl he doesn’t know anymore. “Steve.”
“Are you hurt?” He reaches for you but you shrink back like he’s burned you. This isn’t who you are. You’ve never been a fighter, yet here you stand, pantsuit a bit scuffed but otherwise untouched, and his stomach twists into a Gordian knot. This is what Sam was warning him about. The snake in the garden come to life. “What are you doing here? You could’ve gotten hurt, doll—”
“Don’t call me that. You don’t have that right anymore,” you spit, voice pure poison. He pushes himself to his feet just as something makes you pause and your eyebrows knit together, raising your left wrist where a watch is strapped on. His head is spinning from his skull cracking against concrete and the new revelation that the girl he knows is a stranger again. He wobbles for a moment, arms out to the side as he tries to regain his bearings but you don’t so much as give him another second of your attention. “Docks are secure, Fury. Fitz is ready for pickup. I’ll send London co-ordinates when I get back to base.”
Steve glances at the bleeding man still panicking about the knife sticking out of his leg, and you go over to him, hauling him to his feet. The man shivers, whimpers when he puts weight on his injured leg but you give no hint that you care. As if on cue, a helicopter swerves through the air, rotors sending powerful gales of air down to the ground as it lowers itself to the ground and you look at Steve with a cold disinterest, hand a fist around Fitz’s collar.
“Believe it or not, I’m not just Captain America’s pretty little girlfriend anymore.”
“I just want to talk—”
“There’s nothing I want to say to you.” Turning around, you lug Fitz into the helicopter with a strength Steve doesn’t recognize and you climb onto the chopper with a grace he knows didn’t exist before he left you.
Don’t go. Please don’t go. I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you.
“I’m going back to the compound,” you say over the loud gusts of wind whipping at the ground. “You’ll find Bucky there, if that’s who you’re really here for because if I wasn’t enough for you then, then I certainly won’t be enough for you now.” Pulling back into the helicopter, you yank the door shut with a slam, and Steve watches as it rises, a steady ascension to a place where he can’t follow.
His stomach twists, his whole body wracked with a shaking agony as his heart pushes itself up your throat. Falling to his knees, he keens over and throws up, acid splashing between his hands. He vomits out his heart, every inch of warmth you’ve ever given him so freely, every smile he’s taken for granted, the taste of your smile after you’ve made those apple pies.
He’s left hollowed out, colder than death.
He wants to cry, but even his mind tells him you don’t deserve to cry for the woman you chased away, so he laughs. Laughs until they turn into tears, and even then they don’t feel real. His body is unwilling to yield to the possibility of defeat, and yet here he is.
It was a one in a million chance for us both to survive that Snap, Steve. And Thanos destroyed the stones. If we can’t find a way to bring them back… maybe the only thing we can do now is move on.
Some people move on. But not us... Not us
Take your ring and give it to the girl you really love because it isn’t me.
Steve’s shock. There was less of a protest, only your determination to stop your lip from trembling, the tears already falling from glassy eyes. Grief bit him in the stomach, but yearning tugged his heart toward the platform.
If all you could think about in the ten years we were together was Peggy, I don’t see why I should stop you.
Y/N, you know I love you.
Not enough.
.
The compound is different. Different plot of land, different inhabitants, different facilities. He pulls up in the lot where the Avengers sign is carved into the stone and he walks the grounds, grounds he used to know but this is different soil.
Another man’s grounds.
“Steve,” Sam says, cautious on the track. He’s wearing a tee-shirt and shorts, skin glistening with sweat and a water bottle in hand. He’s got a comm link in his ear and it glows blue for a moment before muting itself. There are a few recruits running a few laps and Steve eyes them wearily before approaching Sam. His beard was shaved two days ago, his hair chopped clean even though it makes him more noticeable now. He hopes no one says anything about the old Captain America pathetically dragging himself back to a place he tried to run from. “F.R.I.D.A.Y. told me you came in.”
“Yeah. I… I just wanted to see Bucky.” Your name bites at his tongue and it takes all his strength not to confess what happened down in Mexico before Sam glances behind him to a building he doesn’t recognize. It’s connected to the main facility by a long tunnel but there are doors to the track as well, and they open just as Steve fixes his gaze on it.
Two figures stumble out of the building, a piercing shriek splitting the air with glee as one of them runs away from the other. Even from the distance, Steve can see the metal glint of Bucky’s arm, your favourite swimsuit strapped to your body. Bucky’s holding onto something as he chases after you and you barrel through the grass, towel cloaking your shoulders.
“They’re happy, man,” Sam murmurs lowly as they get onto the track and you’re still running but you’re no match for a super soldier. Bucky scoops you up, tossing aside his water gun and wrapping you in a huge hug from behind. “Even if Barnes wants to see you, do you think she does?”
“I already saw her in Mexico,” he utters softly. You’re laughing so loudly it makes Steve’s chest explode with light. You thrash in Bucky’s arms and he pretends to nip at your skin, growl into your ear as you tug at the towel around your neck. You’re… you. Just as he left you. Nothing like Mexico. “Why is she in the field, now? She’s not a soldier.”
“That’s for her to explain, not me. I don’t get to try to describe the hell you put her through, Steve.” Bucky puts you down and your feet in those strappy tan sandals sink into the grass as you spin around. You plant a kiss gently on Bucky’s lips, using the corner of your towel to wipe away drips from his hair before stealing another kiss. Steve’s mouth tingles, burning uncomfortably and he looks away. That used to be him, leaving the pool, smelling like chlorine and sweat and then popsicles to cool down because nothing screamed summer like fruit popsicles and swimming.
“Steve?” A tentative voice calls and Steve’s eyes refocus to the source on reflex. You’re staring at him, eyes narrowed into knife points and you hold Bucky’s arm to your chest, your fingers entwined with his as his old friend walks towards him. “Steve— you’re back? What are you… what are you doing here?”
“Guess the past isn’t where I belong,” he says with a forced smile that digs into his cheeks and Bucky lets go of your hand to hug him but his lips are parted, his eyes wide. He doesn’t believe this is real and when Steve meets your eyes over Bucky’s shoulder, your gaze is burning. Bucky’s arms squeeze around Steve tighter, tight enough that even he can’t breathe. He’s shattered in his arms, Bucky is, and Steve can only hold him.
“Let’s go inside,” Sam says, ever the mediator. Steve looks at him but his eyes are on you, and Bucky’s pulling back and then his eyes are on you, too. All eyes on you and your worried lip between your teeth. You’re tanned, toned, and your hair is shining underneath the summer sun as Bucky steps away from Steve as well. As if the euphoria of having his best friend is gone—it is. He chose a daydream over his family. “You guys need to get dry.”
“Yeah,” Bucky murmurs, eyes darkening as they linger on Steve’s face. Soaking him in, thinking a thousand miles a minute, trying to sort through whatever storm lingers in his head. His eyebrows hood his gaze as he lowers his head and Steve can see him slip away as you take Bucky’s hand, cup his face, and turn him away.
“Popsicles, yeah? Gotta get the last ones before Wanda steals ‘em away,” you whisper and Bucky’s nose brushes against your head before they begin to walk away. Bucky’s shoulders are hunched over and you’ve got an arm around his waist, and there is something sacred in the way his head brushes against yours, the way his arm drapes around your shoulders. The way his fingers play with the fluffy towel around you, bringing the corner of it to your wet cheek. The way you step in tandem.
Something tender, something hallowed, something not his.
You’d been sharp and scorched in Mexico. In Bucky’s presence, you are nothing but dewy grass and a gentle fire, and he sees the tension ease in your shoulders despite a knot lingering in your back.
Once you’d been soft like cotton clouds like it was your nature, eager to stay away from the fight. You were just the receptionist at Stark Towers and Steve had fallen first, so eager to protect you because you were kind, gentle, funny and you didn’t care about who he was. Just that he was Steve and you were you.
I can’t let anything happen to you. You can’t protect yourself against these guys, Y/N. They’re… they’re monsters.
And he left you to them anyway, in a world still struggling to find itself repopulated and alive—
I failed you. I failed everyone.
The realization devastates him. No matter how hard he tried to fix the world, he destroyed his life anyway.
“Come on, man. If you wanna talk, we should do it in private,” Sam says. Steve follows him numbly into a building he doesn’t know anymore.
.
You’re sitting with your legs bent and angled in towards Bucky, playing with a butterfly knife that flows too easily between your nimble fingers. Sam sits on the leather seat and Steve leans back into the sofa as you bite softly into your red popsicle. Strawberry. Your favourite.
Bucky’s sucking down a blue one but his face is placid, eyes burning into the glass table between them as Sam sits down with a cup of coffee he had offered to make for Steve. The blade flips over your index finger, and then back around again. Your hair is stringy and wet, tied away from your face as you set down the knife and turn to Bucky, eyes searching. You brush his hair away from his face even though it’s cropped shorter now and smile even though he doesn’t focus on you.
He doesn’t miss Bucky’s hand around the curve of your thigh, holding you to him as if you’ll slip away otherwise. He fights the nasty remark pounding against his teeth—that’s his girl his best friend’s got his hand on—but he knows it isn’t his place anymore. Steve watches you lick sweet strawberry melt from your lips, trail your fingers along Bucky’s head delicately and pull his temple towards you for a quick peck.
It’s almost as if Bucky wakes up at your touch, and he turns to you. He searches too, scans your gaze and Steve feels like he’s intruding on a moment so he looks into his lap.
“So?” Sam prompts, tearing everyone out of whatever bubble they’ve encased themselves in and pulling them back into harsh reality. “Who wants to go first?”
There’s silence where Bucky puts down his popsicle stick on the bowl brought out, blue melt sliding down the wood slowly as you bite down on the last of your own treat.
“Steve?” Bucky’s voice is quiet, accepting already.
“I have so many things to say and I don’t even know how to say any of it, but I know to apologize,” the blond says after a moment of hesitation. His breath keeps catching in your throat and you lean forward to drop off your own stick by Bucky’s, almost a statement to his own words. “I’m sorry.”
“For?” Sam asks for clarity, but Steve entertains the notion that maybe even his friend wants to draw it out of him.
“I didn’t know what I had until I lost it.” Steve makes a point to meet three pairs of eyes except you refuse to look at him, instead staring into Bucky’s lap like he doesn’t even exist, like you don’t exist either. “I should’ve stayed. Should’ve thought it through and realized that... everything I had back then is everything I had here.”
“Is that all?” Bucky stares at him with something like pity, something like jealousy, and Steve knows it has all to do with the woman in his arms. Ten years of conflict to push lovers together compared to five years of overcoming heartache because of one man. Steve would be jealous—had been jealous of Steve of 2012. 2012 Steve had a whole decade of love waiting for him and he has none. “Are you here to stay?”
“Yeah. Yeah, I am.”
“If you think you can come here and have everything that was yours just given to you on a silver platter, then you’re wrong,” you speak up for the first time and it sucks all the warmth out of the room. Bucky turns to you, hand raising from your thigh to brush a wet strand of hair away from your cheek and you clench your jaw, lips pressed together. “We built our lives without you in it.”
“Y/N.” He leans forward, elbows on his knees but you seem to shrink away from him, eyes tortuously meeting his.
“You leaving me was the best thing that could’ve ever happened to me,” you whisper with a rage unbridled, unchained, just barely containing itself from exploding. “It made me realize how much stronger I am then you have ever given me credit for.”
“You weren’t that girl when I met you.” Soft girl with sunshine smiles and gauzy white dresses—lemonade pitchers, tulip gardens—you weren’t that girl, Steve’s mind protests but when you unwind from the couch, stretch every languid muscle in your body, he wonders if he ever saw you as anything more than someone he had to protect.
“I believed you when you said I couldn’t fight.” You stand, gazing openly at him and he swallows at the hopelessness residing in your gaze, still there after five years. “That I wasn’t enough like you to even try to help. All I ever was to you was some pretty little thing who was scared to fight back and maybe I was because you sheltered me for ten fucking years.” Your voice twists with pain, overflowing with a frustration of lost time and pure, pure sadness. “You leaving me made me stand on my own two feet again.”
Bucky reaches forward to take your hand when they all see it tremble but you simply roll it into a fist and step away.
“You put me through hell, Steve. I had to learn how to fight for myself because you weren’t there. Because you left me for some fucking daydream.” For a moment, he thinks you soften because your eyebrows fall and you close your eyes. The muscle in your jaw ticks, your nose twitches, and when you open your eyes again, they are glassy with tears. “You utterly destroyed me, you know that? I loved you more than I needed to breathe and you just walked away. I lost everything and you walked away.”
Tony. Natasha. Boss. Best friend. Colleague. Sister.
“How could you do that?” you whimper, blinking as tears scorch down your cheeks and you wipe them away angrily with the heel of your hand. “How could you just look at me, look at Sam, look at Bucky, and think that there is nothing worth staying for?” You throw out your hand helplessly, waiting for an answer that won’t come and Steve chews on the inside of his cheek, throat swelling shut.
“It felt like minutes,” Bucky says at last, and the darkness in the room, the stifled feeling in Steve’s chest eases only a tad because Bucky is not nearly as thunderous as you are. You twist to look at him, arms crossed over your chest and Sam reaches to touch your arm, fingers wrapped around your bicep. You spare him a glance before looking at Bucky. “We died, we came back five years later, and it only felt like minutes.”
“Bucky—”
“You chose to leave what felt like minutes after I died, after Sam died, and when Y/N told me what happened… Steve…” A shuddering convulses down his throat and Bucky looks down into his lap. You unfold your arms and immediately go to sink into the couch, wrapping an arm around Bucky. Your eyes pin him down, red-rimmed with unshed tears, accusing: you did this to an already broken man.
“I’m so sorry, Buck.” The apology sounds plastic in his mouth with how many times he’s said it, thought it. “I’m so sorry.” He says it again anyways, and he directs it at the two other bodies in the room. You gauge his expression, watch him like he’ll vanish in a flash of smoke.
“I was happy for you if leaving meant I never had to see you again. I know you deserve a happy ending, Steve. You deserve rest more than anyone I know,” he says, “but you need to know what you want before you decide to risk it all. You can’t come crawling back for second chances because there are none. You don’t come back and have everything stay the same. There’s a price every time you give something up.” He looks up, eyes like clear water. There’s nothing angry in his old friend’s gaze, just drained. “If you’re here to stay, you better be sure that this is what you want in the end.” And then Bucky is up, rubbing at his face like he’s tired rather than an inch from crying. Steve watches him go—they all do—silently, and then you look at Sam who gets up to follow.
There’s a moment when you meet eyes with Steve and he can feel the love you swaddled him in for ten years, through the Snap, through the Accords. No matter where he was, you were there.
Then that love disappears.
“I want you to hurt like you made me hurt,” you begin softly, hands folded in your lap, t-shirt hanging off your frame, stuffed into your shorts. “Like you still make me hurt. I want you to wake up crying, I want you to rub your face raw, I want you to stay awake all night just wondering why this has happened. I want nothing more than you begging on your knees for something you can’t stop no matter how hard you try because somehow you just aren’t enough.”
He closes his eyes, lets your words devour him whole.
“Bucky was there,” you continue quietly. “He was there for me in a way you never were. He drove me home after you left. Told me that the best was yet to come. That I just couldn’t see it yet, and I didn’t believe him. For the longest time, I didn’t believe a single word he said.”
“Until you did.”
“Until one day, I looked at him and told him I know. That I know, one day, things will change,” you agree and something melts in your voice when you speak of Bucky. Kindred souls, the same heartache lurking still in chests just beginning to warm from love again. “Maybe it hurt less that day so I decided that I have to accept that this was my life now or maybe I was just so sick of crying that I told myself that this isn’t who I’m going to be. I don’t know. I just woke up one day, and he asked if I wanted to go swimming. First summer after everyone came back, and I wanted to say no, but I just had to say yes because it was swimming, and it was Bucky, and he was barely holding it together but here he was… taping and gluing me like I was some abstract project.” You chuckle, a wet sound, before glancing down at your knees. There is something you’re not telling him, and he knows it’s something secret to you and Bucky alone, so he doesn’t push it. Doesn’t ask—his chest already feels like it’s cracked open. “Some of the pieces won’t ever fit again.”
“Bucky,” Steve says, “did he train you?”
“Yeah.” Explains a Black Widow move. You sound proud, but not of yourself, of your own feats and talent, but of him. “He encouraged it. Said it was only right I knew how to fight.” Steve’s stomach turns and he looks down to swallow. Bile is burning in his throat. The threads of his heart are tearing.
“I know it’s all I’ve been saying, but I’m sorry. I… I just tried to protect you in every way I could.”
“I know.” Your words are soft against his battered ears, and he looks up at you sitting there, ramrod straight but a certain gentleness that reminds him of the past. “I know you loved me in the way you could.” Clutching, grasping, desperate not to lose another woman he loves. “When you saw Peggy, did you just decide that that was easier?”
“I don’t know,” he admits. “I just felt like I was missing something. Something…”
“... you couldn’t find here?”
“Just something.”
You ruminate on that, eyes fixed on the popsicle sticks and Steve rubs his hands together, head bowed. The silence is terse but not hostile, and you pick up the butterfly knife on the cushion. You don’t flick it open, just run your thumb over the edge and Steve thinks you might cut him stem to stern before you place it down on the glass table.
“I used to stay up all night wondering where I went wrong,” you say it frankly. It’s not meant to hurt him anymore. You seem tired of being angry, but it’s still there, just there underneath your skin. “I couldn’t sleep. I didn’t eat unless Bucky made me. I would’ve rather starved than live in a world where you didn’t love me, but he said if he had to go on, then so did I. He never asked for anything in return, and I was just so fucking angry at myself that I listened to him just to spite myself. I cried all the time. I didn’t move from my bed for months. Yet, one little part of me,” you murmur, gaze rising to meet his, “always just wanted you to be happy. I wanted so desperately for you to make the right choice because then maybe this would’ve been worth it for you.”
It’s big. Your words hang on imaginary strings around his head, whistling in the faint air conditioned wind, and he clenches his jaw, unable to tear his eyes away from you. Although you’re barely holding yourself together before him, you’re deathly beautiful.
“I’m so glad that you’re so loved,” Steve intones quietly. “I’m so thankful that Bucky loves you.” He doesn’t need eyes to feel it. It’s a quiet thing, unshaking yet fragile as flowers and light as dandelion wisps.
“I didn’t think he did.” You lean back into the couch, tuck your feet underneath yourself and cross your arms over your chest. “It took me a long time to accept that he does, and now he won’t believe that I do, too.”
The confession sinks its teeth into Steve’s throat and threatens to tear his flesh.
“I tell him and I can tell he doesn’t believe me sometimes. No matter how much I want him to, it’s the one thing he can’t believe because…”
You were my girl, Steve thinks.
“He doesn’t believe he’s worth staying for. Worth choosing. You did that to him, you know? Did that to me.”
“I know.”
You stare at him and he looks at you, curled up on the couch. Your face is drying, but that torn expression still sits on your face as you run a hand over your middle, fingers folding as you close your eyes and duck your head.
His eyes trace the gesture, eyebrows knitting together, and then he looks at you because he knows. Because it had been their dream once, and when the fight is over, baby. The world still needs you, Captain America.
He had said, half joking, When will they ever stop needing me?
When you grow old and grey, and another Captain America is ready to take your place.
“Bucky’s?” he asks, body numbing. You nod, raising your eyes to his. “Does he know?”
“No. I only found out a few days after Mexico.” Three weeks ago. “I want to make it past a few more weeks, just to make sure.” You tuck your knees to your chest, arms folded over your abdomen and Steve tries to imagine it swollen with life. No longer lean with muscle but bountiful with a miracle. Blue eyes, blonde hair— no. Not anymore. “Just wanted time.”
Time. It’s all he’s ever wanted, and now…
“I know.”
Now he has none at all.
Your eyes meet his, fluttering and haunted, and he simply meets your gaze. There’s a quiet understanding in that moment as you bring your hands up to hug yourself, and he swallows, leaning back into the couch. His hands rest on his thighs, and your back sinks into the back cushion of your loveseat as he thinks of what to say.
Perhaps there is nothing to say.
Instead, his right hand goes to his pocket where a ring is still pinched tightly in between the creases. The diamond is sharp against his flesh, and he tugs it out carefully before setting it on the glass table between them. You stare at the thing, watch it glint. It’s mocking you, but Steve doesn’t want it and he doesn’t know what else to do.
“It’s always been yours,” he says, pushing it to your side of the table. The diamond scrapes against glass but doesn’t leave a mark. “It’s never been anyone else’s but yours.” The ring clatters against the gass. You’d worn that damned thing for years on end. First it was the Accords, then Wakanda, then the Snap, and he should’ve married you when he had the chance—he should’ve done so much more than what he did.
“Do you love me?” you ask quietly, eyes unmoving from the winking gemstone. The golden band is glowing in the pale lights of the compound as he nods.
“Yes.”
You reach forward to grab it, extend a leg to shove it into the pocket of your shorts, and then you’re sitting there, feet on solid ground again. You gauge him, study him, eyebrows down, lips curved into a soft frown.
“Okay.”
You stand and pick up the knife before grabbing the bowl as well. You clear your throat and look over Steve’s head, at the walls with photographs and paintings and a dartboard by the doorway, and then you look at Steve again.
Your futile attempt at a smile makes Steve smile, just barely, before you walk past him and head for the open kitchen. You set the bowl down in the sink before heading for the hallway, and Steve can hear your step, your off-rhythm breathing.
“Do you love me?” he asks, turning to look at you, and a sigh whispers past his lips as you pause. Your hand is in your pocket as you turn around, playing with the knife or the ring, he doesn’t know.
“You can’t ask me that, Steve.” Your voice is steel, your eyes unforgiving, and that soft girl is swallowed up by the scorched woman, burned by his absence. You haven’t forgiven him. You never will. “Look, I’m going to go find Bucky. We have… we’re going berrypicking in the afternoon, so…”
“Yeah, no, go. Don’t let me keep you.”
“See you tomorrow, Rogers.”
There’s an utter sense of finality to it. A chapter closing permanently and you’re already on the next page.
“See you.”
The door slides shut and you’re gone.
#fic: scorched#bucky barnes x reader#steve rogers x reader#bucky barnes#steve rogers#bucky barnes fanfiction#steve rogers fanfiction#steve x reader#bucky x reader#bucky barnes fic#steve rogers fic#stucky x reader#steve rogers x you#bucky barnes x you#steve rogers x y/n#bucky barnes x y/n#chris evans#sebastian stan#lyn2k#my writing
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I feel like my love for stucky intensifies with every wrongdoing marvel makes to their story. After endgame we were all obviously just ignoring that completely worthless and illogical ending, and now with falcon nd the winter soldier and the overall disregard of the importance of Steve’s and Bucky’s relationship from marvel I just ship them even harder. Maybe it’s because I’m so convinced that canon got it wrong, so their story feels more personal to me/us now. Like it’s more up to us, the ones who actually /know/ and love these characters, to determine how their story gets to continue, and not up to some tv show where all marvel cares about is money. Steve and Bucky deserved better and so we will be the ones to give them that. Fuck marvel
So much this. You said that perfectly. Canon got them so wrong after like, halfway Civil War, it’s not even funny. And I’ve just genuinely tuned most of what happened in canon after that out, to be honest 😅 Black Panther and Infinity War gave us some lovely Bucky and Stucky moments that I genuinely appreciate, but there are a LOT of gaps to fill in, and fanon has done that admirably. Sometimes I struggle to remember what actually happened in the movies, and what I’ve just read about so many times that it feels more real than canon. And I love that.
I’ve been able to honestly ignore EG for the most part, apart from the occasional rant, because Steve just leaving like that was just so absurd that it didn’t even compute as a genuine possibility in my mind. So I was able to come to terms with that pretty well, but than they had to go and continue that preposterous line of thought in a whole ass TV show 😂 It’s just making it so much harder to keep ignoring it (and by ‘it’ I mean that Endgame ending, not Sam getting the shield or any of the other good things that are going to be explored in this show). But I’m gonna do it though. Gonna ignore it real hard. And apparently I’m not the only one, not by a long shot, so let’s just keep our eyes on the prize and keep on continuing Steve and Bucky’s story the way they deserve out of pure, unadulterated love for these characters. Fanon > canon every time, for me ❤️
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Steve Rogers is a Monster
Yeah, that’s a hell of a title, isn’t it? Strap in, it only gets worse from here.
(click here if you’d prefer to read this on AO3)
Forewarning, if you enjoyed the epilogue for Endgame, this particular essay is not for you - and no, I am not bashing the Steve/Peggy shippers, you are beautiful human beings who make the fandom brighter and I’m happy that at least someone in this fandom got the ending they wanted.
Additional warning: if you expect this to be another Civil War debate, you will also be disappointed. There has never been a measurement invented that can adequately describe how much I loathe the verbal dick measuring contest that seems to pass for human interaction between Tony Stark and Steve Rogers in this franchise. It’s not funny or entertaining - it’s exhausting, uncomfortable, and frankly it’s rather lazy writing.
This is about the very specific way that the epilogue in Endgame completely changed the way the character of Steve Rogers can be interpreted, and I don’t just mean the very illogical and contradictory way that time travel is explained, both in the movie itself and the fact that the writers and directors have two completely different views on how that worked out.
I mean that the choice made by Steve Rogers in the very last minutes of that movie alters the way I view each and every one of his actions starting from The First Avenger and that alteration is exactly what I want to talk about, because whether you view it as deserving or not, what Steve does at the conclusion of Endgame was the most selfish thing humanly possible. Time is a thief, but somehow Steve managed to steal even more than Time.
Side note here: I understand that I am a completely biased Stucky shipper, a friend to Barnes and Noble, a Starbucks aficionado - sorry. Anyway, I’ve always believed that Steve and Bucky were destined blah blah blah, but I was never expecting a Stucky ending. Disney wasn’t going to do that, and I knew that, I wasn’t bothered that Steve and Bucky weren’t doing the smoochies by the end. But Bucky’s facial expression during those last minutes was gut-wrenching. Like...I have no idea what kind of cues the script and directors gave him, but in the future, please don’t ask Sebastian Stan to look sad unless you want soul-crushing devastation. It’s not Seb’s fault, his features are just arranged that way - but the fact that the editing staff allowed Sam to be sad though elated to be entrusted with the Shield and Bucky looked like his soul was being physically torn out of his body was an… interesting choice.
Other side note: if you’re writing about time travel, I’m begging y’all to get your facts straight. Or just don’t write about time travel. It almost always sounds better on paper than it does on screen and it means that you’ve opened doors to more questions than you’ve probably got the answers for. I know this was about trying to set up the idea of the multiverse, I get that, but there were better and less messy ways to do that, and I know that because I’ve done it before. @Marvel: Let me write you a six-way orgy you fucking cowards~
By going back in time, Steve robbed Peggy of the future that would have been hers - not only that, he’s robbed her of even the chance of making the choice between those futures, because you honestly could not tell me with a straight face that Steve told her the complete truth of what he had done and she would be okay with him alternating the very course of the future. It doesn’t help his case that he has a history of not disclosing truths that he knows will be painful or inconvenient for other people in his life.
He robbed his loved ones - Sam, Bucky, Wanda - of the years they would have spent with him. Sure, he ‘came back’ after Peggy passed away, but they are adults in the prime of youth who knew him sixty years ago in his own time and he is an old, old man who has lived an entire life completely separated from them. He is practically a stranger with a name they know, but a history that no longer belongs to any of them - not even his oldest friend. They have him back, but judging from his age, they’ll be lucky to get even ten more years with him. Assuming of course, that any of them can stand to speak to him - I certainly couldn’t blame them if they tell him to go to hell and take his dad jokes with him.
Steve has stolen away their friend and dropped off an elderly and dying near-stranger in his place, and this is treated by the writing (and the majority of the acting) as a wild and unexpected but not tragic event.
Is it really that unexpected, though?
I recall seeing a Game of Thrones essay on Daenerys across my dash (I’m sorry, love, I don’t recall who you are since it’s not a fandom I’m in, but if someone knows who wrote that, please post the link!) which detailed how her ending in the series was foreshadowed many times by her penchant for bloody killings and her habit of surrounding herself with her own fawning friends.
Months after reading that, I had the thought: though Steve is never really shown thinking about Peggy after Civil War, except in a few scattered scenes in Endgame, was this foreshadowed? Whether you believe that his actions are justified or not, what Steve does is still, in the end, selfish at its very heart, and Steve Rogers is not a selfish person.
Oh no, my dear friends and readers. Because taking this action has solidified and clarified Steve Rogers as the biggest and most selfish asshole in this whole universe.
Steve does not do the right thing, Steve does the thing that will most make him feel better. The fact that this often happens to be the right thing in the end is more the result of happy coincidence than any special sort of moral authority that the man holds.
Rescuing Bucky Barnes and his fellow captives in a prisoner of war camp from being experimented on by an insane Nazi eugenicist? That was not a moral stand, that was endangering himself, Peggy Carter, and Howard Stark because he couldn’t handle the reality of his best friend being killed in war.
Sacrificing himself by putting the Valkyrie down in the Arctic Circle? That was not about sparing human lives, that was about Steve seeing his friend die right in front of him and not being able to deal with the grief. There were ways he could’ve prevented the plane from killing people without killing himself.
Trying to make Bucky remember who he was? And later on, saving him from the government agencies who wanted to hunt him down? Although, arguably, that last one is also just good common sense - Steve was already shown that government agencies could and were corrupted by HYDRA and he’d also seen how dangerous the Winter Soldier could be when unleashed.
Steve did, I think, truly believe that this was the right thing to do, but it was also about keeping his connection - his very last, since Peggy had descended into dementia caused by Alzheimer’s before she ultimately died - to a past that for him, was only months or years ago, rather than decades. In some ways, this is completely understandable - Bucky might be the very last person left alive who truly knows who the real Steve Rogers is, because the rest of these people only know Captain America and we are consistently shown through multiple movies how uncomfortable this makes him.
This gets...considerably less and less understandable as we are shown Steve’s growing relationships with Natasha, Sam, Wanda - even Sharon, though she barely gets any screen time and they share the most awkward kiss I’ve ever seen - and indeed, what might be the most uncomfortable kiss in cinema history.
Side Note 3: This is made even more awkward by the director’s choice to have two of Steve’s friends watching them the whole time - seriously, who even does that? Why would you make them do that? Only sociopaths make out with their friends staring at them like that. It’s so fucking creepy - and don’t even get me fucking started on the fact that she’s also apparently his own niece. AHHHHH!
But we are shown, over and over again, that Steve is capable of building close meaningful relationships with people in the present. They don’t know his whole history, but they do know Steve Rogers rather than Captain America and they care about him deeply.
Side Note 4: Notice that I don’t count Tony Stark among those people - despite this strangely persistent narrative that the various writers and directors tried to sell to the audience, Tony and Steve were not friends. They were never friends. They were colleagues at best, but these were two men who neither liked nor understood each other very well, but had to work together. And sometimes that’s okay, too. (Oh dear, I just gave the Stony fans a fit too, didn’t I? Sorry, guys. Enemies to Lovers is a great trope, I support you!)
But let’s set aside Steve’s gross betrayal of the people who loved him. We’ll also ignore the question of whether the motive for these good actions has tainted the actions themselves. Because even without questioning these, the conclusion of this story arc still transforms Steve into the biggest monster this franchise has.
The very fundamental way that the writers and directors can’t agree on how the time travel mechanics in their own story work mean that Steve has just done one of two things and they range from shady and very questionable to absolutely fucking horrific.
The first, that he’s created his own alternate universe to exist in, is morally dubious at best. Even the people who support this theory and liked the ending seem to feel that it wasn’t necessarily a ten out of ten on the moral goodness spectrum. They’ll say things like ‘he deserved to have his happy ending’. Even that phrasing seems to acknowledge that doing this was the opposite of the right thing. It just considers doing the wrong thing as being justified rather than horrifying.
But let’s examine this first idea for a minute - even this, the more innocent of the two implications, means that rather than really processing his grief or dealing with the repeated tragedies and losses that have occured in his life, even as he was running group therapy sessions and grief counseling, Steve Rogers chose to escape his current life by creating an alternate universe that specifically allows he himself to live out his own fucking fantasies of the way his life should have turned out.
That, in case you are not aware, is wildly fucked up. I thought I was playing pretty fast and loose with Steve’s characterization when I turned him into an extremely polite serial killer but as it turns out, I clearly just wasn’t setting the bar high enough, because that’s somehow even more fucked up than being an undercover child soldier with a small sadistic streak.
Hm, and now I feel I should have been more creative there...
The second, and even more horrifying option, is that this older Steve Rogers has been in this world the whole time, watching as things unfolded just as we’ve seen over the past decade, taking ‘the slow way’ through time.
Side Note 5: I do kind of understand why you would do it this way, because that’s really cool and shocking when you say that! Until you think about it for longer than three seconds and suddenly you realize…
Everything that has happened here, every tragedy and downfall these people experienced, happened because Steve Rogers lived his happily ever after with his beautiful wife and did absolutely nothing to stop it. He got to fuck Peggy Carter and watched as his wife built an empire of intelligence networks, knowing that her efforts were completely in vain because her agency was rotten to the core and he never told her.
Every horrifying act committed by HYDRA under the guise of SHIELD was permitted through Steve Rogers’ negligence. And that’s just the wider big-picture worldview, large and shocking, but not personal.
What about the people that Steve claims to actually care about?
This means that Steve lived his whole life in contentment with his wife and children while his best friend was physically and psychologically tortured for over seventy years and just...let that go.
He allowed one friend to murder another in the nineties, when the Winter Soldier was sent after Howard and Maria Stark. Then their child was being advised by a greedy self-interested warmonger who paid terrorists to drag him off to be tortured and slaughtered, and Steve did nothing about that, either.
Bruce Banner was exploited, experimented on, and made into a monster against his will in the failed pursuit of recreating what was done to Steve, resulting in billions of dollars in damage and dozens or even hundreds of lives lost, and Steve allowed that to happen, too.
Like Bucky Barnes, Natasha Romanov was physically and psychologically tortured for others to use her as a living weapon - except that this was probably happening to her since early childhood, and a man her future self loved and trusted implicitly did nothing to save her from this upbringing.
The Maximoff twins are shown to have not wealthy but loving parents who are murdered in front of them and they both endure days of laying in the rubble of their ruined apartment, wondering if the bomb in their living room would go off and kill them. Later, they are taken in by HYDRA, experimented on, and recruited as child soldiers to the cause when they show signs of having supernatural powers. They start a series of events that result in the destruction of a major city and the loss of what is probably thousands of lives. Pietro is murdered while trying to help the Avengers to stop this, and Wanda suffers the loss of the very last living person she loved. None of these things seem to have bothered Future Steve.
Steve “I can’t sit on the sidelines when I see a situation go sideways” Rogers, planted himself on that fucking sideline and observed for nearly eighty years as friends, colleagues, and his own wife were lied to, brainwashed, tortured, vilified, and hunted down like animals.
And then there Steve Rogers himself - not the Endgame Steve Rogers, the Steve Rogers who brought down a Nazi plane and will lie beneath the ice for seventy years while everything he knows disappear (mostly) innocent of these horrors, the life he would’ve lived stolen from him by a stranger with his name and his face from another universe.
What I’m saying here is that if you consider this idea for any amount of time, it took Steve Rogers less than ten minutes to become the most evil and disturbing figure in the entire MCU, only (not really tho) contested by Thanos himself.
Gross and poorly reasoned libertarian ethics aside, Thanos genuinely believes that he did what he did for the sake of the entire population. It’s made fairly explicitly clear that Steve didn’t do this for anyone but himself.
Call me crazy, but if everyone you know needs to suffer and multiple planet-wide devestations have to happen in order for you to get your happy ending, you might be the bad guy.
Maybe I’m just old-fashioned?
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I Can Save Everyone But Myself (1/3)
Warnings: fluff, angst, strong language, set post-Endgame (has Endgame/ Civil War spoilers and possibly stuff before that)
Please do not interact with this blog if you are under the age of 18. Your media consumption is your responsibility.
Pairing(s): Bucky x reader
Summary: Fighting the bad guys comes easy to James Buchanan Barnes. What will end him, is the fight against his will to be with you.
Word Count: 1400
A/N: there’s some sad boi barnes up ahead :’)
Song to listen to when you’re reading: Cold Water by Major Lazer ft. Justin Bieber
(This GIF does not belong to me)
*Blocks of text that are italicized indicate events from the past.
How did it get to this?
This was unlike Bucky. You sat on the couch while he sat on the floor, your legs on either side of him. But that wasn’t what was weird. You were touching him. Playing with his hair. No one has touched Bucky like this, let alone played with his hair. Frankly, he wasn’t sure what to do.
Should I allow it?
He subtly looked at Sam who shot him a warning glare as if he read his mind. He shouldn’t flinch from loving touch but he couldn’t help it. He went back to the question of how did it get to this. He knows how it got to this.
7 months ago
Bucky looked around, then looked at the ground, unsure of what to do. He didn’t feel like Tony would have wanted him to be there anyway. Sam knowingly looked at him before patting his back. He should feel something other than shame, but it was the only thing he felt.
After the funeral, Steve was putting back the stones. Part of him knew that his best friend wouldn’t be coming back when he hugged him the way he did.
It’s okay. He deserves a life too, Bucky told himself.
Still, nothing could have prepared him for the aged Steve that stood before him. They were supposed to grow old together.
A sense of relief passed through Bucky when he handed the shield to Sam; the last thing he wanted was to be responsible for Captain America’s shield.
After that, the Sokovia Accords were long forgotten, finally allowing for Bucky to live as a free man. Sam insisted that he move into his apartment downtown. That way, he wouldn’t be physically alone all the time.
There wasn’t much to move into the apartment - he has no real possessions anyway. Even so, Sam invited a friend to “help unpack”.
Y/N signed the Accords and sided with Tony. That’s why he had never met you before.
“I remember you! You almost knocked my teeth out at the airport,” you joked as you entered the apartment. He was slightly taken aback by your lighthearted teasing - he was so used to being treated like the enemy.
It was refreshing for Bucky to be around Sam and your playful banter.
“How are you affording this place Sammy, you aren’t even working” Y/N nagged.
“It’s courtesy of the Avengers protocol Tony left behind. You’re right though, my bank account is as dry as your elbows.”
Sam didn’t notice it but Bucky saw that your face fell just a little when Tony’s name was mentioned. It was only for a split second and he would’ve missed it if he had blinked.
“How hypocritical of you to say my elbows are ashy when I can see scratches on you from a mile away” you shot back. Bucky silently laughed to himself.
That day was fun. It was mostly spent putting his clothes away and organizing his room while you and Sam sat on his bed arguing about who Redwing likes better. When you all sat down to watch a movie, he noticed how you sat in between the large space between him and Sam. You looked like you contemplated who to lean on before you leaned to Sam. It would’ve been weird to lean on him since you just met him, he reasoned. Why was he even wondering why you didn’t lean on him?
Present time
“How do you get your hair to be so soft Buck?” you wondered out loud. For a second he froze up. Only Steve calls him Buck.
“What are you talking about Y/N, it’s always fucking greasy” Sam snorted from the corner of the couch.
“High talk for someone who doesn’t have hair at all” Bucky quipped. The room filled with your laughter and Bucky found himself smiling too. He was beginning to see parts of the old James emerging around you.
His attention shifted back to your fingers stroking through his hair. “I love your hair. You look handsome when you put it in a man-bun,” you added. He smiled again before stopping himself.
What you said shouldn’t make him feel the way it did.
After you left that day, Sam and Bucky stood in the kitchen simply looking at each other while the silence suffocated their thoughts.
“She has feelings for you and if I didn’t know any better, I’d say you do too,” Sam stated it like it was a fact and sipped his water.
“You don’t know any better,” Bucky reassured, “she’s too smart to go for someone as fucked up as me.” They stood there for a while before Sam raised one eyebrow and peered at his friend mid-sip. Bucky shook his head and walked away.
3 months ago
As time went by, your presence at the apartment was a given and he found that he looked forward to being around you. It took a lot of visiting before he had a full conversation with you. It was about the latest mission sanctioned by the UN, something you both weren’t looking forward to.
“I can’t believe people even have it in them to create trouble after everything that’s happened” you defeatedly sighed.
“There will always be someone to fight or some war to win, in some corner of the world,” Bucky said, sharing the same defeated tone you used.
“Every time some new buffoon starts a problem, I feel personally attacked. Like they’re disrespecting the sacrifices people have made to save the stupid world.”
Bucky didn’t need to ask to know who you were talking about. He rested a hand on your hand that was clutching the countertop.
You looked down sadly. “I miss him, Buck” you whimpered with a slight crack in your voice. “He would be proud of you, Y/N,” Bucky pulled you in and kissed the top of your head.
That day, you leaned on Bucky instead of Sam. He was pleasantly surprised to feel your head on his shoulder and wanted to lean into it. When the movie ended, Sam began commenting on how stupid it was and stopped himself when he realized you two were knocked out on each other. Your head rested on his lap and Bucky had an arm around you with his legs stretched out on the rest of the L-shaped couch.
Bucky had taken up photography as a hobby. He would take pictures of things that were fascinating to him, things that he never expected to see in this lifetime.
As bad as it sounds, Sam never expected Bucky to sleep so peacefully in this lifetime. It also fascinated him how you, who felt everything, made Bucky feel this way about you. Bucky, who felt nothing.
So he took a picture of the sight in front of him using Bucky’s camera. ‘He can thank me for it later,’ Sam muttered to himself and covered you two with a blanket.
Present time
Bucky wandered into his room with his head still in the clouds. He can’t feel this way about you. You would never feel the same way. Part of his mind reasoned with him; you deserve a life too, it told him. He refused. He doesn’t deserve a good life. Even if he couldn’t remember everyone he killed, which he did, he didn’t deserve love or peace in this lifetime. He would spend the rest of his life beating himself up as penance, if that’s what it meant to commemorate the lives lost to the Winter Soldier.
Bucky didn’t leave room for any other thoughts before he walked into his bathroom and picked up a pair of scissors.
Without a second thought, he began chopping off chunks of his hair while tears streaked his face. He had no goal. He just snipped off whatever he could grab.
He stopped and fell to the floor. Crumpling up into fetal position, he held himself and rocked back and forth while he sniffled.
You’re too broken.
You’re not good enough.
Sam cautiously opened the door and took a few seconds to take in the mess before him. Tears that threatened to spill over were stopped by a determined Sam who walked over and wrapped his arms around Bucky.
“It’s gonna’ be alright man,” he whispered to his quivering friend.
Part 2
Masterlist
Taglist: @brat-in-a-teacup @taintedgenre @pastathighs
Other tags: @mculibrary
#bucky#bucky barnes#winter soldier#fluff#angst#lovestory#mcu#marvel#bucky fic#fic rec#fic#sambucky#falcon#sam wilson#james barnes
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trying to articulate my frustrations with Marvel’s treatment of female characters and characters of color
Hi, hello, hola, bonjour. I've been having a lot of thoughts about Marvel’s lack of diversity and of how they treat minority characters, so I'm taking a page out of Luisa’s (@its-tortle) book and just making a long, rambley post to get it all out.
Please bear with me while I try to encapsulate all of my frustration within the limitations of English language.
(ALSO, I'm white. I’m Spanish-American, but I do not have the ability to speak for fans of color and the other grievances they have. This post is just a combination of my own thoughts and what I've heard other people say on Tumblr, in YouTube videos, in articles etc.)
Now that we've had over week to collect ourselves after the WandaVision finale, because it was such a tearjerker and the end of a true masterpiece of a show, we really need to talk about how Marvel treats their their characters of color and female characters. I'll specifically be looking at Sam Wilson, Natasha Romanoff, and Monica Rambeau.
Let's start with Sam.
Until Monica Rambeau became Photon just a few weeks ago in WandaVision, Sam was THE ONLY Black superhero in the MCU.
He first appeared in Captain America: The Winter Soldier 7 years ago in 2014, and he's been in 4 movies since then (not counting the post-credits of Ant-Man).
Let's see what we know about Sam in the MCU:
He was a pararescue airman in the U.S. Airforce
His wing-man, Riley, died in combat, prompting him to leave active duty
He works at the VA to help other veterans adjust to civilian life
That's it. This is all we know about his backstory, separate from Captain America. However, the MCU decided to include these parts of his backstory, (and exclude others) because they make him a better supporting character to Steve.
Sam's a vet - so is Steve. They have the same, early-morning run routine that alludes to strict military training. Steve is still new to the future and hardly knows or approaches anyone, but Sam is wearing his VA sweatshirt, so there's some sense of connection, one that is furthered when they talk about their beds being too soft. Sam is someone who can understand him, aside from being a super soldier.
Riley, Sam's wingman, died in combat - Hmm, haven't heard that one befo - oh, wait. *Bucky waves from the abyss of the Alps*. Yeah.
I'm not saying that these connections are bad, in fact, I think the opposite. In terms of storyline, these connections are incredibly important for their friendship. Steve is lost and alone in the future. No one he knows cares about him for any reason other than the fact that he's a super soldier, nor can he relate to any of those people on any level. Sam just fits. He's funny and kind and although they are 60 years apart in age, he can, to some extent, understand what Steve is going through in a way they no one else can.
But for the last 7 years in the MCU, all he's been is Steve's supportive friend.
Almost immediately after meeting Steve, Sam is dragged into an end-of-the-world battle. He readily agrees to put his life on the line to fight by Captain America's side. After SHIELD falls, Sam gives up his life for 2 years to help Steve find Bucky. When they find him, Sam, without a second thought, becomes an international fugitive to protect Bucky and Steve.
I mean, he practically says that he lives in Steve's shadow himself:
"Don't look at me. I do what he does, just slower."
Who does all this? Seriously? Sam is also a recovering vet. He, in theory, has a life, a family, a job, his own mental well-being to consider, but he immediately gives it all up to help Captain America, to follow in his shadow, to be his back-up and support in every battle. Marvel wrote him as a 2D character that lacks his own identity and agency.
Sam deserves his own storyline; he deserves to exist outside the orbit of Steve Rogers.
What Mackie has been able to do with the character is astounding. He took Sam off the page and truly brought him to life, turning him into a beloved character. I'm ecstatic that both Mackie and Sam finally (hopefully) get their time to shine in TFATWS, but it should have happened WAY sooner. Marvel has continuously overlooked Mackie, despite how much he brings to the movies and despite the significance of Sam as the only Black superhero. It's just so clear that they do not care about representation.
(And let's not start with the whole "Bucky should be Captain America" thing, thanks)
Next, let's talk about Natasha.
Nat has been in the MCU for 11 years, starting with Iron Man 2 in 2010. She was heavily featured in an additional 6 MCU movies (not including small cameos/post-credit sequences). She's one of the few female superheroes in the MCU, and the only one that's been there since the beginning. Nat was the only female superhero for 4 years until Gamora appeared in Guardians of the Galaxy.
Let's see what we know about Natasha's history:
She's a former KGB operative and assassin, trained in the Red Room project
When she was a part of the Red Room, she was sterilized
Clint Barton got her out of the Red Room and converted her to a SHIELD agent
THAT'S IT. The second point is actually nauseating because this is what she says to Banner when we learn about her infertility in Age of Ultron:
"They sterilize you. It’s efficient. One less thing to worry about, the one thing that might matter more than a mission. It makes everything easier — even killing. You still think you’re the only monster on the team?"
Like, actually, what the fuck? I remember watching this scene and having to rewind because I thought I mis-heard what she said. In truth, Natasha is probably referring to the terrible things she was forced to do as a KGB operative are what make her a "monster," but why in the world would they include this anecdote here?? It's just so distasteful and disgusting! It makes it seem like her infertility is what makes her a monster, perpetuating the misogynistic belief that the center of a woman's identity and purpose is to have children.
As Vox says in this article, the subject of Nat's infertility
"rears its head sub-textually when Black Widow sacrifices herself for the Soul Stone. [...] It’s reasonable for Natasha to make the calculation that Clint’s kids deserve to have a dad when they come back to life after the Avengers complete their “time heist.” But because of that Ultron plot, there’s also an insidious implication that Natasha’s infertility renders Black Widow just a little bit more disposable than the rest of her teammates."
Furthermore, Nat's death in Endgame serves for nothing more than motivation for the other characters working in the time heist, WHICH ARE ALL MALE. Even then, the other characters talk about her death briefly (in a mostly unaffected manner), and by the end of the movie, she's been pretty much forgotten about, completely overshadowed by Tony Stark.
I don't want to say that Nat shouldn't have died in Endgame. It caused me so much heartache and emotional pain, but I truly believe it was a great way to end her arc. CinemaWins on YouTube put it best:
"She needed to save her family, Clint included, finally wiping the red from her ledger. So much of her jouney in the MCU was trying to find her purpose, figure out which side she was on, and she finally feels like she's found it, just in time to die for it.
"It's not wrong to feel cheated by her death, [but I think] she deserved this moment because of it's importance."
She says it in the movie:
"I used to have nothing, and then I got this. This family. And I was better because of it."
Nat shouldn't have to die, but it's on her terms, and she is absolutely ready for it. Saving her chosen family... that is her purpose.
But altogether, over the course of the MCU, Natasha was cheated out of getting the storyline she deserved. Like Sam, she was relegated to the position of the supportive friend of Steve, but also of Bruce and Clint. For the audience, her identity is tied to this role that she plays. The identity and motivations she has independent from these other characters, her history, is skimmed over, and treated with immense disrespect.
It took 11 years, but it is thrilling that Scarlett Johansson finally gets to be the start of her own Marvel movie. There is no way that Black Widow will be able to completely make up for her and Natasha's mistreatment by the MCU, but I hope it will at least bring us some closure and allow us to have a better understanding of Nat's history and who she is away from the other Avengers.
Last, but certainly not least (despite what WandaVision may have you believe) is Monica Rambeau.
I spoke about this last week after posting about this review of the show, but it bears repeating.
Monica is a new character. You'd hope that, after 11 years of extremely limited diversity in the MCU, much to the dismay of fans worldwide, and after recognizing this and creating a movie with a cast like The Eternals, Marvel would try to get their shit together across the board.
Nope!
Monica was seriously the token diversity character of the show. It seemed like they would give her more depth after the episode during which they flashed back to the her during and after the snap, losing her mother, and seeing a little bit of what she's done as an adult since Captain Marvel, but that ended up being the most we got.
But why? Monica literally became a SUPERHERO. She became Photon! She deserved a much greater role in the show, especially in the finale, where she instead had maybe 5 lines and just stopped some bullets for about 30 seconds.
As the review I linked says,
“There are so many black writers, fans, and critics noting how Monica got relegated to a complete lack relegated to meaningless best friend protector lacking in their own self agency and story except for making a shoehorned comparison of grief.”
Marvel made the same, bull-headed mistake that they made with Sam with Monica!
Let's do this again. Monica was snapped away for 5 years, and when she was snapped back, she learned that her mother had died. Losing someone you love and having the whole process of mourning and pain be complicated by the snap? What an interesti- oh wait. *Vision phases his head through the wall with a smile*
The only reason we got this backstory was because it made her a more sympathetic character towards Wanda. Her understanding of what Wanda is going through allows her to be the catalyst in the creation of the ideological fork in the road between herself, Darcy and Woo, who see Wanda as a victim of grief and loss, and Hayward and the rest of SHIELD, who see her as a dangerous threat.
How do you make the same, major mistake that you've been making for the past 7 years again? Guess what? You don't! Maybe it's not intentional, but Marvel, again, clearly doesn’t care enough about their characters of color to consider the roles they relegate them to in the MCU, realize what they've been doing is harmful, and then change it.
Hopefully, they will not continue to treat Monica this way and will remedy this in the next Captain Marvel.
In conclusion: MARVEL GAVE A FUCKING ROBOT AN ACTUAL ORIGIN STORY, A RELATIONSHIP AND MORE INDEPENDENCE THAN ALL OF THESE CHARACTERS.
But in all seriousness, Marvel needs to be help accountable for how they treat women and their characters of color in the MCU. I just looked at 3, but you could also make a similar argument about Rhodey, Hope van Dyne and Valkyrie, as well as Jane Foster, MJ, and Ned, although they are supporting characters and not superheroes. And I'm sure there are many others. Marvel (and Disney!!) has had an awful track-record, and change is long overdue.
#fuck marvel#fuck disney#sexism and racism in marvel#minorities in minor roles#thank you for coming to my TED talk#discussion#fatws#wandavision#sam wilson#natasha romanoff#black widow#monica rambeau
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blueberry pancakes // bucky barnes
MASTERLIST
Description: A single mother. Juggling being a mom, a full time pediatrician, and a difficult ex who believed now would be the best time to finally be a father. A soldier ripped out of time. Ex-assassin turned superhero. Learning how to balance a new domestic life with handling demons of his past, while facing the trials of the future. a love story began over something as simple as chocolate chip pancakes with hidden blueberries.
Disclaimer: I do not own any original Marvel characters! All canon plots and canon characters belong to Marvel Comics and Marvel Studios. This is an original work. You may not publish it anywhere else
Status: Edited
Note: Takes place after endgame. I have elected to ignore Tony's death and Steve's leaving. Did not happen. Quick Reminder! My works are only published here, AO3 and on Wattpad, thank you.
Chapter Three: The One With the Wallet
Warnings: N/A
Word Count: 1511
The nights that Lily spent alone were always the hardest for her to handle. She'd spend her day busying herself with miscellaneous activities in order to keep her mind off the empty house around her. Whether it be sweeping the floors, vacuuming the carpet, cleaning dishes that were probably already clean, whatever it was. If it kept her mind off the fact she'd be asleep alone in the house with only her dog...she'd do it.
But today...things just didn't work out like that. There were no dishes. Lily could practically see her reflection on the hardwood. The carpets were as soft as a cloud. She'd walked Joey twice already, and the dog then passed out in the living room with his tongue hanging out of his mouth. She scrolled through Netflix about six times, even made herself spinach puffs from scratch. And still, it was only 4pm.
Glancing down at the screen of her phone, she let out a gentle sigh. She figured she may as well spend some time out in the city. She's lived in New York State her whole life, and lived specifically in New York, New York, for 15 years. And yet she'd never done anything really tourist-y in ages. The last time she walked the streets of New York by choice was when she and Genevieve first moved out from Long Island. Those were the days. Living in an old and dingy apartment with Gen. Her only stress being school and balancing a part time job.
Lily lived like that for around two years or so. And then she met Scott. However, everyone knows how quickly her life had changed after that.
Grabbing her keys and purse, Lily bent down to press a gentle kiss on the top of her sleeping dog's head before sliding out the front door and locking it behind her. Would she wander the dirty streets of the city? Probably not. But she would for sure be stopping in to pester gen as she juggled running the cafe. Maybe even snag a few pancakes to indulge in during her nightly read. Who knew? All that the blonde knew was that she would definitely be grabbing at least one of Gen's infamous blueberry muffins.
-----
Around five, Lily felt herself grow weary of the hustle and bustle of the city. She had stopped into a few stores to take a look around, specifically the m&m store to pick Hunter up some chocolate, the Disney store, and just a few small boutiques. Making her way down the packed streets, Lily found herself out front of Gen's cafe. Letting out a soft sigh with a slight grin tugging at the corner of her lips, she pushed through the door.
The young girl's dark green eyes scanned around the room as she watched customers laugh over coffee, share a pancake, or just indulge in the tasty sweets that her best friend made her living making. Giving a small wave to a few of the wait staff, Lily maneuvered to the back, where with a furious intensity, Gen sat on a stool, icing a doughnut. Knocking on the wall to alert the fellow New York native of her presence, Lily made her way over.
"Well well, what did little ol' me do to deserve two trips by the infamous Lily Osborne today hm?" Gen teased while moving her work to the side, "Couldn't stay at home any longer?"
"Nope. If I took Joey out on another walk I think he may have gone into cardiac arrest," Lily chuckled while taking a seat down on a stool, dropping her bags, "I always hate when Hunters goes back to Scotts. The house feels so empty without him."
"I can imagine. Why don't I stay over tonight? Keep you some company in that basic suburban home of yours, hm? Sound like a plan, Doctor Osborne?" Gen grinned, nodding over to two bottles of wine beside the fridge, "Picked those two puppies up on my break. Figured it's better if I drank them with someone else, instead of just myself."
"Oho is that all I am? A buffer to keep you from turning into a raging alcoholic? Also, mind throwing some blueberry pancakes in a container for me?" Lily teased while snagging a chocolate chip out of the container.
"I thought you were aware of this?" Gen joked, before looking past Lily to one of the waiters pushing the door open, "Yes Elijah?"
"The man who called earlier about his wallet just showed up, where'd you put the thing?" the dark haired worker asked, dark eyes glancing down briefly towards Lily.
The blonde blushed ever so gently at the look, before turning around so her back was towards the male. She spotted the dark leather casing of a wallet and slid her arm out, pulling it into her grasp before standing. Lily pulled her purse over her shoulder and picked up the plastic bag her son's chocolate snack sat in, gripping it in her opposite hand.
"I'm heading out...I'll take it to him, what does he look like?" Lily asked as she brushed past Elijah, turning towards the seating area of the cafe.
"He's got long hair and a beard," a gruff voice commented from beside her, the small screech of a bar stool being scraped against hardwood echoing through the space, "and is wearing leather gloves."
Turning her attention to where the voice was coming from, Lily found herself face to face (or more so face to chest) with the same man she had seen earlier with her son. Bucky, right. That was his name. He was taller than lily had imagined, and more beefy in the chest then she could see from many tables over and under a clearly oversized jacket. But up close? The man looked like he could rip lily apart with his bare hands, and not even break a sweat. Granted...he was a supersoldier. She was sure he probably could actually do that, jacked or not.
"Oh! Sorry," Lily mumbled as she extended her arm with the wallet at the end, "I was leaving so I figured..." her voice trailed off, a familiar feeling of excited nerves bundling up in her throat. Letting out a deep breath before taking a small step back, after the cool sensation of metal danced across her fingers.
Lily remembered Hunter raving about how cool the Winter Soldier's metal arm was. How it was so strong it could tear car doors right off their hinges without any resistance. By remembering this, Lily’s suspicions were confirmed. He totally could rip her in half if he wanted to. But according to her son, the Winter Soldier was timid in real life. But how would she know for sure? She didn't know who he was.
"It's okay...thanks," he mumbled softly, seeming to nibble on his chapped bottom lip, "You were here earlier right? With the cute little guy?"
Lily nodded gently, fumbling with her fingers as her mind raced in an attempt to find a way to quickly exit this social situation. If she wasn't familiar with someone, it was rare to hear Lily speak. Being a talker was never one of the timid girls personality traits. She mostly kept quiet and never tried to go out of her way to spend time with new people or large groups. They made her nervous. She didn't trust people. She had seen what they were capable of doing.
A tap on her shoulder pulled Lily out of her self-inflicted panic mode. glancing behind her, Elijah stood with the paper container filled with blueberry pancakes for Lily. Giving a gentle smile, the blonde mouthed a thank you before turning back towards the man who seemed to have not moved a muscle since the two began talking. Or more so, he mumbled and she stood there dumbfounded. It wasn't much of a conversation.
"So...what'd you get?" the man asked, glancing around as if he too, was thinking of a way to either get out of this conversation, or at least distract himself from the seemingly terrified girl in front of him.
“Blueberry pancakes..." Lily laughed gently, biting down on her plush bottom lip, before her phone rang from inside of her purse. Sending a quick thank you to the good lord above, Lily excused herself from the awkward conversation, only catching a quick remark about how they were his favourite.
Pushing out into the humid air of New York in September, Lily pulled her phone out and answered quickly. A quick sigh of relief escaped her lungs as she turned away from the cafe and back towards where her car had been parked for the past hour and a bit. Finally, thankful she could get away from any possible chances of awkward run ins.
"Hello?" Lily spoke quietly into the phone as she unlocked her car, sliding into the front seat.
"He was totally eye fucking you." Gen's voice sang out as her bluetooth automatically connected from Lily's phone.
"Shut up! Be at my place at eight, weirdo."
#bucky barnes#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes x female oc#james bucky barnes#bucky barnes fluff#original female character#female oc#OC#oc tag#marvel fanfiction#marvel#the winter soldier#the avengers#fanfiction#fanfic#tfatws#single mom#sebastian stan#fluffy#romance#comedy#james buchanan barnes
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Fuck John Walker (and also some other stuff): A Response To Episode Four
WARNING: some bad language, death mentions, violence mentions, blood mentions, racism, spoilers for for ep 4 of tfatws
DISCLAMER: I have some Opinions about various characters. These do not extend to the actors, who I’m sure are lovely and should be treated with the dignity, privacy and respect that they deserve.
“Fuck John Walker” was originally meant to be the subtitle. I decided on it when he screwed up the op for Sam. It got ungraded during the final scene, because nothing else could possibly compare as a necessary title to this post.
Essentially, some (out of order) thoughts on episode 4:
~*Sam and Bucky, working together*~ (pretend this is a musical jingle)
The contrasting ways that they interacted with the displaced
While the incredibly valid argument can be made that Sam is the least privileged of the group (I’ve made it) it is obvious that he has had the most structured civilian life: approaching the people he comes across openly. Yes, he is polite and calm, but the closest thing to this he has personally come across in the past (that we know of) would be the war vets he worked with and the critical difference is that they wanted to be there. From what I remember of Sam’s groups they didn’t seem to be a sort of mandatory requirement: you came because you chose to. Or at least, you came prepared for the situation. Here, Sam is an outsider and an unwelcome threat. These people are not going to open up to him.
Bucky is quieter, but still quite straight forward in the way he presents himself. I think he may show a little more care for the environment he is in than Sam but that isn’t saying much. Yes, he has experienced much worse things than Sam but we still see his unfamiliarity with this sort of situation paired with some less than stellar social skills really not working in his favor.
Look, I love both these 2 to death. But this is not what they know.
Zemo on the other hand quite likely lived in a place similar to this after his family was murdered. He shows an understanding of how this sort of situation would work, going to children who:
a) wont necessarily peg him as an outsider
b) are bribable
also I think he was genuinely super glad to give those kids that candy and money. He would have been such a good dad. now I have Zemo feels. somebody help me.
The inclusion of the Dora Milaje was incredibly awesome, and not just because I simp for powerful women. Narratively, this was the perfect place for them to join the party and assert their right to apprehend Zemo.
Bucky speaking Xhosa (i think it was?) is very cool
I would like to take this moment to formally state that Caption John Walker is a motherfucking asshole.
It was also really nice to see Sam’s therapist skills, that worked against him earlier really help him here.
I liked seeing that more human side of Karli, and having her interact with the “enemy” and have serious conversation about what everyone is doing.
Until Captain Insecurity has to destroy the op because he doesn’t trust the people he chose to work with, no one has comms or anything I guess?
Also Walker deferring to Bucky for team decisions over Sam, talking over Sam and acting like he knows better than Sam?
I smell racism in this Chili’s tonight
It was also really interesting to get a more in-depth look at how Zemo views supersoldiers. Nearly all the ones that he has either heard of or interacted with (destroyed) had either volunteered for the serum or were so brainwashed that it didn’t make a difference. These people are a dangerous enemy to be eliminated, alongside people like Dr. Nagel. His entire worldview is focused on their destruction that the idea that one of them could be a normal person is impossible to him. The only exceptions acknowledged are Steve (paragon of saintly virtue) and Bucky.
And the fact that after his family died and his country devastated he would most likely have fixated on both the Avengers and the “concept” of a superhuman being as something to blame for his loss. His refusal to concede his position to Sam isn’t just arrogance, although that seems to be a part of it, but the fact that he has spent so much time and energy in destroying both the Winter Soldier program and most likely other similar operations, along with the Avengers that this hatred and belief in the danger has most likely become one of his core beliefs. To change this would be to question his vendetta against the Avengers, to question his actions against the Winter Soldier program which he knows was a horrible thing, and to question why he has spent the past seven years in maximum security prison. This isn’t something he is ready to do yet.
The fact that Bucky is a noted exception is something that stands out to me. Zemo knows that Bucky is a good person, regardless of the serum.
Bucky is also the only main character (that I can think of) that was injected with the serum against his will. The fact that he didn’t seek it out could quite likely be part of the reason that Zemo doesn’t look down on him for it - it is framed that the sort of person that seeks out that sort of strength/power would be a “supremacist”, someone who would use their abilities to harm and subjugate others.
And while we are at the apartment may I say how funny it is to see Zemo just. Literally being Sam and Bucky’s sugar daddy. He transports them and houses them and makes them fancy tea. It’s possible he’s providing them with clothes. Either way, love it. Cannot wait for the boys to work it out.
Sam and Lemar’s responses to being offered the serum are an interesting juxtaposition to how they view the concept of supersoldiers. They have both experienced hardship and survived war but Sam is the one that has gone up against Gods and monsters and he wants none of that, thank you.
And Lemar is so comfortable with saying yes because it isn’t actually being offered to him. Walker expresses some hesitation in their discussion because for him, it isn’t hypothetical. This is something real that can and will effect him for the rest of his life and he wants to make the “right decision”.
The return of Erskine’s belief that the serum not only effect the physical but the mental, emotional and (possibly?) spiritual. This isn’t something that’s really been touched on outside of The First Avenger and I liked that it turned up here. But the fact that it was the reason Walker felt comfortable taking the serum? Eww
The Dora Milaje kicking names and taking ass is super awesome. They are so incredibly skilled and have such amazing teamwork and are also super beautiful I love them
Sam and Bucky just. Watching. Enjoying the show. Absolute kings.
Zemo being the sneaky little sneak that he is :)
One one hand, Bucky losing his arm in the fight was very awesome. One the other hand, he has a long history of complicated bodily autonomy in relation to that arm so........ Neutral opinion it is then
Karli, honey, I really want to like you but can you please keep the mans family out of it. Okay?
And another thing that this show made me think about: kids left to fend for themselves after the Blip (uuuurrrggh it hate calling it that. stupid canonical name). I think it’s good that at least some people took it on themselves to take these children in, to give them good lives and families.
The way that Sam has incorporated his wings into his combat style is very cool
Okie dokie can’t avoid it forever lets get this over with.
LEMAR MY BEAUTIFUL SON NOOOO
those fuckers (the writers i mean)
Side note: did they really have to make the first main character death of the series a Black “sidekick” character? No. No they did not.
Side side note: I understand that this is a perfectly valid way (ew) to “advance the plot” but I can and will be annoyed about it
And now we really get into the shit. But...........................
As much as I absolutely unequivocally hate John Walker I actually like the thematic parallels of how they did this. All throughout The First Avenger Steve is adamant on how he doesn’t want to hurt anyone, he just wants to stand up to the bullies. It’s only after Bucky dies that he says he wants to kill all the Nazis and really get into the horror of it all. The fact that John, who has absolutely been on the edge for the entire episode if not longer, only loses it after Lemar dies?
Because Lemar is arguably meant to be that stand-in for Bucky in the eyes of the public, and they are obviously close friends..........
Just -
I feel I may have accidentally been slightly nicer than I planned to Walker in this post. I’m not sure how I feel about that.
But C****** J*** W****** is NOT Captain America. Up until now I’ve been calling him “Fake Cap” in my head and to my family, but he doesn’t even deserve that honor.
And the blood on the Shield. Dear god that was horrible.
And the fact that, as it was pointed out in this very episode, this man fully represents everything that is Captain America, to the world. He isn’t only tarnishing his own legacy, he is also destroying Steve’s. And to some extent, Bucky’s. The whole reason that Bucky Barnes is considered a “Superhero” is because, at least in America he is known as “Cap’s Best Friend”. He was marketed that way for over half a century, and after the whole “Winter Solder” thing, goodwill or no, brainwashing or no, this could end very ugly for him. Not to mention that Steve Rogers is most likely to be forgotten to history in favor of this freak.
And on that note, where the fuck is Steve? This is set only 6 months after Endgame, if he had died we would know. So what the hell is he doing? Because I know he got perpetual brainrot going back in time to be str8 and boring but dear god if the show tries to tell me that he’s just chilling in some senior’s center in Alaska I will actually call bullshit. Steve Rogers would never. Okay this is a whole separate post on my thought on Steve. Watch this space I guess.
And while we’re all here, Bucky Barnes needs a goddamn boyfriend. I’ve done some thinking, and here is a compiled shortlist:
Sam
Zemo
De-aged Steve (he would be higher but I’m still mad at him for the whole “vanishing without a word to relive Jim Crow and the Lavender Scare. :/ )
IN THAT ORDER.
That’s all folks.
Feel free to send me asks if you want clarification or extra details on anything.
And finally -
the thing we all came to see:
FUCK
JOHN
WALKER
fin
#john walker#steve rogers#captain america#sam wilson#bucky barnes#helmut zemo#zemo#tfatws#the falcon and the winter solider spoilers#karli morgenthau#dora milaje#tw blood#tw violence#tw death#cw racism#thats all folks
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Can't Let Him Go
Steve Rogers x Reader.
Warnings: endgame 🙂🙃, language, dark reader 🖤, shitty writing...
A/N: I'm living with negative and angry thoughts these days, so when I was waking up, this came into my mind. I don't know why I wrote it cuz this is completely a shit!!!
Master-list
Mini-seires
.
.
.
She noticed the change in him. The way he was trying to avoid conversation with her, avoiding meeting her eyes.
He was like that since coming back from the past. She knew he and Tony went to the '70s, he looked fine before going there.
She didn't ask him what was wrong, didn't get the chance. First Nat's death and then their fight with Thanos again, taking another team member from them.
After Tony's funeral, she walked towards him, maybe he was just feeling low, that's why he was acting that way. But deep down she knew what it was, she just needed to confirm it.
"Hey!" Her voice brought him out of his thoughts. He just gave her a tight smile and looked away. She knew that was something wrong, she knew him since he came out of the ice. Almost ten years together and she was his goddamn wife, she knew him. He does this avoiding her thing whenever he was about to do something she wouldn't like.
But she didn't push him, he was hers, she would know what was wrong, eventually. In the end, he would come to her to tell him problems because that's what they do.
That's what she thought but little did she know, this time he wouldn't come to her.
~
Before going home they had a meeting in Tony's cabin, about who was going to return the stones.
"I'll go" before Bruce could finish his sentence, Steve volunteered. Both y/n and Bucky looked at him, instantly, but he again avoided meeting their gaze.
That's when she started to doubt, he would not tell her.
…
And she was right, he didn't tell her, she eavesdropped him and Bucky talking outside. She was returning to Steve after saying goodbye to pepper, they were going home.
That's when she heard them talking that made her blood boil.
"Are you out of your mind? You are gonna leave us, leave her?" Bucky asked him, incredulously.
Steve sighed "I know that not right but Buck, try to understand. When I saw her there… I felt like I was that small skinny Steve again. I felt the same way when I saw her first. I know that's not fair with y/n but I can't live with her like that, not when I want to be with her"
This was his excuse for leaving her. Leaving his wife for another woman who had moved on, lived her life, as any normal person would do. But Steve Rogers wasn't normal. He was that skinny boy who was too stubborn to accept defeat. He was that stubborn boy who would do whatever he wanted to do
"You were living with y/n all these years, having her picture with you. How did you do that? What was that then? She has always been in your heart, but you still loved y/n, married her. What's wrong now?" Bucky spat.
"I didn't have any choice then, but now I have. Now I can go back. I love y/n too but I also want to live what I wanted, to live in my time with the woman I loved, first, before y/n" Steve yelled at his friend, he was tired, frustrated from being asked questions by his friend. He wanted support, someone to tell him he was doing the right thing. Bucky was the only one he could share it with. He couldn't tell y/n anything about it.
Bucky didn't say anything and walked away.
Y/n was debating herself, whether to yell at him now or wait to go home. After a few minutes standing there, she went outside and sat in the car without looking at Steve.
Steve also sat in the car and started to drive home.
No one spoke on their way home, Steve felt odd, he thought she would ask him again. But she didn't say a single word, not even looked at him.
The whole ride went in awkward silence. The silence before the storm.
~
On reaching home, she quickly went inside and went to her. Steve was calling her name, but she didn't listen.
It was time to tell him, the real meaning of being a wife. He had married her, it wasn't a game, where he can come and go whenever he wants. All these she was there for him, as a friend, as a lover, as a friend and now he was giving her this? Leaving her without even telling her?
But no, she would tell Steve Rogers, it wasn't easy to leave as he was thinking. She would show him, she was not only a good wife, but she was also a protective wife. Who won't let her husband fly away from her grip.
After changing into something comfortable she went downstairs to make something to eat. She went into the kitchen ignoring Steve which didn't go unnoticed by him.
He sighed and went after her.
"I was calling you before, you didn't listen," he said, trying to talk to her.
"Yes, I didn't listen," she answered without looking at him.
Steve clenched his jaw, he started to get, annoyed by her behavior. But didn't say anything, it was his last night with her. He didn't want to spend his last time fighting and arguing.
Without saying anything he went out of the kitchen, giving her time to calm down.
She glared at him and continued her work. She was making this because she was hungry. It was for him, to make him stop.
After making the dinner, she set the table, putting Rohypnol in his plate.
After getting satisfied with her work, she went to look for Steve.
He was standing near the window, his back towards her. She knew how to make him feel better, to make her plan work.
She went towards him and hugged him from behind. At first, she felt his body getting tensed at her touch but didn't let him go.
He turned to face her, getting out of her arms. She looked at him with a soft smile.
"Dinner is ready" she whispered softly.
"I don't…" he tried to say but she cut him off. "Please, Steve. Eat something." She sounded as if she was worried about him. He simply nodded and was about to go when she came to his way.
He looked at her with confused expressions. She smiled and stood in her toes to kiss him, he only pecked her lips and tried to pull away but she grabbed his shirt and kissed him deeply. When he didn't return it she bit on his lip lightly. He groaned at this, he was losing the control so he pushed her instantly.
She looked at him, confusion and worry covering her face, it was part of the plan, to make him feel guilty, to feel bad about himself for wanting to leave her.
"D...did I do something wrong, Steve?" She choked. Steve took her face in his hands "no sweetheart, you did nothing wrong. I think we should eat first" he said, giving her a sad smile.
He took her to the table and sat down to eat dinner. She smirked seeing him eating what she gave him.
Now he wasn't going anywhere.
~
Pain. That's what he felt while waking up. His head was pounding, his vision blurred. He couldn't remember what happened last night. He tried to get up, but couldn't. He was tired chains. He tried to free himself but couldn't. He felt weak, tired and the pain was making things worse.
"Tsk tsk… stop trying babe. You won't be able to free yourself." He heard a voice, his wife's voice. And then she came into the view. She stood in front of him with a smirk, a syringe in her hands.
"Y/n, what's happening? Why are you doing this?" He muttered.
She scoffed at him "like you don't know? Do you think I'm stupid or something?" She asked grabbing his jaw.
"What are you talking about baby?" He asked.
"Aww, you don't what I am talking about huh?" She said in a mocking tone. "I'm talking about the same thing you talked about to Bucky, which you didn't want me to know. But guess what, I know" she said, chuckling.
He looked at her, her eyes showing no emotion. "I'm sorry y/n, I know I hurt you but I need to. And what you are doing is wrong. We can talk about it." He requested.
She rolled her eyes "no steve, your talking time is over. I gave you all day, even asked you a few times but you didn't talk. So now it's time for some action, to do something. Now I'm gonna show you, how possessive a wife can be. I'm gonna show you that it's a fucking life, not some game, you can leave whenever the fuck you want. " she was yelling.
"All these years, I was with you, when you wanted a friend, I was there for you as a friend. You wanted a lover, someone to spend time with, I was there for you. When you wanted a life partner, guess what, I was there walking down that aisle to you. I was there when you were feeling an alien at this time. I was there when you had nightmares. I was there when you were searching for bucky. I was there when you became a criminal. All these years, I didn't leave you, I loved you. Because I knew you loved me too, despite having her in her heart, there's a place for me too. Do you really think I would let go of all these ten fucking years for just one moment of weakness?" Steve was looking at her with wide eyes, he hadn't seen this version of her ever. There was a madness in her eyes.
He was shocked, he couldn't form a word.
She sat on knees and cupped his face, "how much time did you spend with her huh? 2 years, 3 years? And with me, you spent a decade. With me, you have memories. We spent everything you together, we fought together in all these difficult times and now when I can have a happy time, a time without any tension, worry, you are going to her. To give her what I deserved?" She said softly.
She waited for him to say something when he didn't say something.
She stood up " and you wanted to talk this out, you are an idiot Steve, always meeting everything." She held his shoulder and pushed the needle of the syringe in his skin.
"You know, I won't keep me down for long. I'm a …"
"Yeah yeah!! I know you are fucking super-soldier, stop bragging. I know you won't be out for long, but it'll keep you here for enough time for me to do everything. And steve I swear when I'll come back, you won't find the good wifey in me, that's my promise to you." She threatened him and walked out. He was her leaving, before closing his eyes.
~
"Where is Steve, we are waiting for him." That's what bruce asked her when she went there.
She rolled her eyes, "I'm going on the mission. He isn't feeling well." She replied and went to wear the suit.
When she went outside l, they all looked at her with confused expressions. This all was making her annoyed now, first Steve and then her stupid team.
"Steve said he would go," Sam asked, making her lose her temper.
"Well now he isn't going, he isn't feeling well so I'm going. Is that a problem for you Sam?" She snapped at him, nobody argued with her anymore. She took the stones, Mjolnir wasn't there, Thor wanted his hammer back, which she didn't care. If a thing from his alternative past was making him happy, then let him be happy. He couldn't bring his brother or tried to go to him, like Steve, so he could have his thing.
She looked at Bucky, he had a knowing look on his face, why was she going there.
She stood there waiting to finish this mission and keep Steve with her forever. Because a wife can't let her husband go...
#chris evans#captain america#chris evans x reader#steve rogers#steve rogers x reader#marvel#steve rogers imagine#ransom drysdale#captain america x reader#dark steve rogers#dark captain america#dark reader
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Stucky Fic Rec [Part Three]
Part Three of the fic rec coming at you! Sorry for it coming so late in the day - I was finishing up reading a fic that I wanted to add to this part!
I do only add fics that I’ve read, and enjoyed, to this rec so (once again) there will be few, if any, ABO and Shrinkyclink fics!
As always; I will provide the Google Doc link where I update the rec regularly, but if you’d prefer it formatted here on tumblr, it is under the cut!
If you want to recommend fics, go for it!
Google Doc Link: https://docs.google.com/document/d/10wqr5s-CzkFzLidQgt-y4-cjudHWwVeVPWCedMjK7t0/edit
Don’t Leave Me Asunder
Word Count: 31.1k
Rating: Teen and Up
Notable Tags: Shrunkyclunks, Veteran!Bucky, Amputee!Bucky
Warnings: None
Synopsis: Like many other war veterans, Bucky Barnes is alone. He doesn't talk to his family, he has no friends and his only human interactions are with his cleaning crew from Avengers Tower. Plagued by nightmares and pain, he lives each day in isolation. Until the Avengers bring their fight at home and Bucky gets to meet the famous Captain America. To his surprise, both their lives change forever after that.
Far Strayed
Word Count: 18.3k
Rating: Mature
Notable Tags: Post CACW, Pre Infinity War
Warnings: None
Synopsis: “They’re not going to stop coming after me,” Bucky tells Steve, somewhere in the air above Siberia.
“Let them come,” Steve replies, furious still.
After Siberia, instead of seeking refuge in Wakanda, Bucky and Steve go on the run.
All My Chances Again
Word Count: 20.6k
Rating: Explicit
Notable Tags: Time Travel, Endgame Fix-It
Warnings: Smut
Synopsis: I love him, Steve thinks into the spiraling ether; I love him; let me tell him. Give me the chance to set that one thing right. If I can’t rest for saving him, let me give him all of me and hope that it’s enough.
Or; Steve gets lost in the time matrix, and begs for an out. Seems confession is good for the soul—or so he hopes.
I, Barnes
Word Count: 76.7k
Rating: Explicit
Notable Tags: Bi!Steve, Bi!Bucky, Period-Typical Homophobia
Warnings: Heavy Smut, Talk of Suicide, Non-Consenual Vouyerism, Panic Attacks
Synopsis: When Steve finally finds Bucky and brings him home to New York, their reunion doesn't go as planned. Bucky disappears into the bowels of the tower, avoiding Steve at all costs.
Bucky believes himself to be broken beyond repair, unworthy of any contact with Steve Rogers. But having finally gotten a taste of being around Steve again, Bucky can't just leave - he needs Steve. In ways he believes prove he's a monster unfit to live.
If Steve Rogers Were Your Boyfriend
Word Count: 70.2k
Rating: Mature
Notable Tags: Cafe!AU, Barista!Steve, Author!Bucky
Warnings: Abusive Relationship (not Steve and Bucky)
Synopsis: When he's not editing a magazine he truly loathes or navigating a rocky relationship he truly doesn't deserve, Bucky Barnes writes a fantasy romance column with an unexpectedly loyal internet following about the barista at his favorite cafe. Barista Boyfriend makes these other worlds bearable, but the real world dreamboat isn’t remotely involved; Steve Rogers is just a muse. Everyone loves the column. And it definitely isn’t killing Bucky very gently in 500 word increments, not in the slightest. What kind of a writer can't keep fact and fiction straight?
James Fuckin' Barnes, that's who.
Love Me Tender
Word Count: 13.1k
Rating: Teen and Up
Notable Tags: Canon Divergence
Warnings: None
Synopsis: Steve is captured by Hydra, who for lack of any other containment options, activate the Winter Soldier and order the man to "take care of Captain America". They really should have been more specific.
-
OR: Taking care of Captain America is a task that the Soldier's body seems to remember how to do, even if he doesn't understand why.
Falling Back on Forever
Word Count: 24k
Rating: Explicit
Notable Tags: Revenge Road Trip, Identity Porn
Warnings: Smut
Synopsis: Bucky falls from the train in 1945. Steve jumps right after him.
The Winter Soldier and the Midnight Patriot are the world's most feared duo, serving HYDRA and leaving a trail of bodies a mile wide behind them. But then they remember.
Wishes and Words
Word Count: 48.2k
Rating: Explicit
Notable Tags: Fantasy!AU, Prince!Steve
Warnings: Smut, Past Torture
Synopsis: Life is going great until the day Bucky Barnes finds Crown Prince Steven Grant bleeding out on his lands.
Then it only gets better.
How Bucky Barnes Won His Second Pulitzer
Word Count: 11.6k
Rating: General Audience
Notable Tags: Shrunkyclunks, Protective Steve
Warnings: None
Synopsis: It isn’t like him and Steve go out frequently. Sometimes he’ll stop by Bucky’s apartment and they’ll binge watch tv shows, or Steve will tell him stories from ‘back in the day’. They’ve only gone out in public two or three times and it was merely quick runs to get coffee, or more popcorn.
So Bucky really doesn’t understand where this Hydra asshole is coming from when he says: “The reason we took you is because we know the Captain will come running right into our trap.”
(aka: bucky is an award winning journalist who really doesn't appreciate being used as bait for a beefed up, spandex-clad super soldier.)
Maybe This Christmas
Word Count: 24.8k
Rating: Teen and Up
Notable Tags: Shrunkyclunks, Christmas
Warnings: None
Synopsis: Bucky’s not going home for Christmas. But it’s fine. He’s spending Christmas alone in his apartment, but it’s cool. He’s not feeling up to seeing his family after his accident anyway, plus he has to work. He’s totally fine with it. But then he runs into Steve, literally, and suddenly his Christmas isn’t looking so empty after all.
6 Avenue Local
Word Count: 10.6k
Rating: Teen and Up
Notable Tags: No Powers!AU, Veteran!Bucky, Graphic Designer!Steve
Warnings: None
Synopsis: It takes a moment for Steve to add up the features on the man in front of him: those blue-grey eyes, a cleft chin, high cheekbones. Sure, he's older, dirtier, taller, but there's only one person Steve knew who looked like that. "Bucky?" he asks. "Bucky Barnes?" It's been so long since he's said that name out loud.
"Yeah, I..." Bucky pauses. "Oh fuck," he says. "I missed my stop."
Steve smiles. “Wanna get a burger?” he asks, noting the happy coincidence that Bucky Barnes, of all the people in New York, fell asleep in the same subway car that Steve would walk into, and missed his stop.
“Sure,” Bucky says with a shrug. “I could eat.”
Kingdom Come
Word Count: 8.2k
Rating: Teen and Up
Notable Tags: Missions Gone Wrong, Angst w/ Happy Ending
Warnings: Near Death Experience
Synopsis: “It’s too late, Steve,” Bucky’s voice across the comm is flat, layered with static. “The deadlock’s irreversible. S’the only way.”
Steve knows what nearly dying feels like; knows it better than most, and this—those words, that voice, this impossible burning that courses through him like the serum in reverse, this.
This is so much worse than nearly.
Just Me, You, and These Shitty Cigarettes
Word Count: 39.8k
Rating: Explicit
Notable Tags: Modern!AU, Veteran!Bucky, Barista!Bucky, Artist!Steve
Warnings: Smut, Dubious Consent
Synopsis: Steve Rogers is pretty sure Natasha's new roommate is trying to kill him. Which he wouldn't mind considering he's been helplessly in love with him since they were thirteen.
Where All Roads Lead
Word Count: 46.1k
Rating: Explicit
Notable Tags: Shrunkyclunks, Time Travel, Historian!Bucky
Warnings: Smut
Synopsis: When Steve Rogers inadvertently touches a relic in the course of a mission gone sideways during WWII, he’s catapulted seventy years into the future. Before he's even sure where he's ended up, his search for help puts him in contact with Bucky Barnes, a historian and college professor who has built a career around studying Captain America.
With Bucky's help, Steve means to find out how exactly he ended up in 2017, and solve the bigger mystery of how to get home. There's just one problem. The closer they get to their goal, the less certain Steve is that he wants to go home.
Énoument
Word Count: 77.9k
Rating: Mature
Notable Tags: Shrunkyclunks, Meet-Cute
Warnings: Smut
Synopsis: When Steve first met Sergeant James Barnes during the New York invasion, he flipped Steve off for calling him a civilian, then roundhouse kicked an alien in the face.
They haven't stopped talking to each other ever since, and Steve thought it was normal for him to latch onto the first person who befriended him after coming out of the ice.
Nope, turns out he was just pining.
Closed Book
Word Count: 38.8k
Rating: Explicit
Notable Tags: Amnesia
Warnings: Smut
Synopsis: Bucky woke up with a headache, a mouth that tasted like something had died in it, and hands-down, swear-to-god, the most beautiful man he had ever seen asleep in his lap.
Bucky was also, he realized after a moment, strapped down to a hospital bed with about six different monitors making unsynced, equally piercing, beeps. Beyond that he couldn’t quite see—there was a hideous floral curtain pulled around the bed, and while he could just make out figures moving in the room beyond it, the pattern made his head pound even worse the longer he looked at it.
So. That was concerning.
#stucky#stucky fic rec#stucky fic#stevebucky#stevebucky fic#starbucks#wintersheild#steve rogers#bucky barnes#captain america#the winter soldier
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I finally watched all of MCU
in release order because IT MAKES SENSE!!!!
special thanks to @littlegingrnut who watched ALL OF THEM with me. She’s the best.
Idk if anyone cares at all, but I feel like sharing, so here’s some thoughts and reactions, enjoy:
Phase 1:
Iron man
okay but like how was Tony such a jerk in the beginning only to become like the most lovable character ever??
YINSEN DID NOT NEED TO DIE :((
did not like the antagonist what was that
I mean he’s not bad I just didn’t like him that much
I wanna get myself a jarvis tho
all in all, really enjoyed it
got me really excited to watch more
The Incredible Hulk
didn't watch cuz aly said not necessary
we just skimmed over the important parts
oh and watched the end credits scene
Iron man 2
this was really great
okay but like I love Ivan Vanko hes such a great antagonist
I LOVE TONY
HE’S SO GREAT
THE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT AND EVERYTHING GOSH AAH
oh damn ~Natasha Romanoff~
ma’am-
Pepper as a powerful business lady? YES
just... really great shit right here
Thor
Mmmmmm I don't see the hype about Loki??
his two faced-ness is annoying me
also Thor? I didn't love him at first,, he's a bit cliché
STELLAN SKARSGÅRD YES SWEDISH REP
okay but Thor is a good boi actually,,, I take it back he’s pretty great
Oh nooo Loki - yeah lol as if he actually died
YO WHAT WAS UP WITH THAT END CREDITS SCENE that got me all like WTF and shit
also told ya Loki didn’t die
Captain America: The First Avenger
okay full disclosure, I actually watched this one time before bc I started watching them in chronological order but never got any further than this
it made so much more sense this time
I liked it so much better this time
because THE RELEASE ORDER MAKES SO MUCH SENSE
anyway
this was good !!
I'm gay for Peggy omg
and Steve is such a good boi
DID BUCKY REALLY HAVE TO DIE
all in all not my favourite tho, not too memorable tbh
"I had a date" 😭
The Avengers
ohhh man
ALL OF THEM TOGETHER? UGH YES
Oh hello Dr. Banner nice to see u
Loki bro pls chill
OKAY HULK HELLO
NATASHANATASHANATASHA AAAHH I'M GAY
still don't get the Loki hype tbh. maybe a lil bit but idk
THOR OKAY I LOVE THOR NOW
TONY WHAT THE FUCK NO NO NO TONY DON'T
oh okay he's good
I love them all so much oh gosh
I MADE IT THROUGH PHASE ONE WOHOOOO
***
Phase 2
Iron man 3
this movie changed me
aly can confirm - I was very much not okay after seeing this
literally had anxiety through all of it
I mean I LOVED it
but like
the ptsd :(((
although I do love that they showed that, just made me love Tony even more
just... showing the ugly parts - love that shit
but also like noooo tony bby :((((
HARLEY!!!! IS SO GREAT !!! AND ALY SAID HE COMES BACK AT ONE POINT!! YAY
just.... Tony Stark man.
great antagonist, love the whole mandarin thing
EXTREMIS? NO THANK U that honestly gives me like zombie ish vibes or smth I don’t like it
but like it was great
OH PEPPER JUST BECAME 10x HOTTER DAMN SHE JUST GETS MORE AND MORE ATTRACTIVE EACH MOVIE HUH
PEPPER ALMOST DYING? NOPE
THE PAIN IN TONY'S FACE? NOPE
all in all loved this so much and I am still not really okay
Thor: The Dark World
I see why people think this is the worst Thor movie.
DON’T GET ME WRONG IT WAS GREAT
but like,,, meh? the big end fight was so anti-climactic? not epic at all like what the fuck
I LOVE DARCY
but she's clearly gay so stop makin her fool around with the intern
but like Thor is such a soft boi and I love him
again, Loki's two-faced-ness – aRH
but,,,, I get the Loki hype now
I'm aboard the train
I love Loki
oh oh oh the part in his prison cell when Thor comes to talk to him and is all like "enough tricks" and then his cell is all torn up and he's all torn up and AH BABY 😭
Thor just needs cuddles
Aaaaand this is where I accidentally got the worst possible spoiler. :)))
I wanted to watch some wholesome Tony Stark content before bed and so I searched youtube for "Iron Man" and clicked on a video I thought looked nice and wholesome. I accidentally read the top comment and then proceeded to break down and freak out to Aly and Hanna on Aly’s live, and they comforted me and stuff <3
Aly then told me that “hey remember that I told you that the little boy in Iron Man 3 comes back at one point? Yeah that’s at the funeral”
STUPIDLY, I then watched the death scene on YouTube, went to bed crying, and of course, dreaming about it. I will never be okay again and I will never be ready for Endgame thank you and goodbye.
anywAY,,,,,
Captain America: Winter Soldier
*SO MUCH SCREAMING*
I thought that Bucky didn’t deserve to die - and he didn’t - but like,,, DYING WOULD HAVE BEEN BETTER THAN THIS
the ~bromance~
nat and steve I mean, so good
I AM NOT OKAY I WAS NOT PREPARED FOR THIS MOVIE BUT IT WAS AMAZING
Natasha tho mmmmmhhf
I was rly confused while watching but like everything came together at the end and it was so nice and damn this is one of my favorites so far
Sam is great I want more of Sam
Guardians of the Galaxy
multiple people had told me that they thought I’d really like this movie
honestly? I didn’t
it was kinda meh?
like I found it very predictable and cliché and not in a delightful way
idk if it’s just that I know that Chris Pratt is a dick but I don’t like Peter
I rly like Gamora and Nebula, but like I’m a lesbian, so I don’t think anyone’s surprised that I like the traumatized warrior gals
but like in general I’m kinda disappointed
I only gasped like twice, and it was barely gasp-worthy moments
Avengers: Age of Ultron
All of them together just makes me so happy, they’re so cute with each other AH
loved Ultron as the antagonist. that was great.
but,,,, I was a bit disappointed that we didn’t really get to see any regret from Tony bc he created Ultron
THE TWINS ARE FANTASTIC
whatever’s going on with Bruce and Nat, I don’t like it
TOO MANY moments that reminded me of the spoiler that I refuse to speak. Did not enjoy
everyone just needs to be hugged why doesn’t anybody HUG THEM????
not happy about Jarvis dying :((( even tho he technically didn’t die but like HE’S NOT JARVIS ANYMORE IS HE
and then Tony just replaces him with this Friday just like that??? no i’m not okay with that
in a ranking scenario this one falls in like the top of the middle range? Like it’s not one of the favorites, but it’s still up there.
I FUCKING DID IT AGAIN ARGH
I was just reading about new MCU projects that are coming up and THERE WAS A SPOILER WARNING, but STUPID AS I AM I DISREGARDED that and kept on reading. I was just skimming through the text and I read “Loki who dies” and stopped right there, because AAHH FUCKING SHIT
I was on a call with Aly as this happened and so I told her that I had given myself a spoiler again and that it was about Loki, and she was all like I can’t remember anything that happens to Loki hmm, and so I thought YAY it’s okay, they just meant one of the times when he fake died!!! so I went on to keep reading, but before I could read anything else Aly stopped me, remembering. She told me it would be gut-wrenching and terrible and I’m just-
So disappointed in myself.
Ant-Man
it was an enjoyable movie, but like,,, a little meh?
I feel kinda the same as I did with GOTG
but I like each of them better than the other for different reasons? idk???
the plot wasn’t very thick, like I could have gone away to pee without pausing and probably not miss too much
I didn’t really get invested in the story or the characters
but it was enjoyable for sure
Sam!!! Hello!!!!
Again, like with GOTG, I found it kinda cliché, but in a more delightful way this time
WE MADE IT THROUGH PHASE 2 AND PASSED THE HALF-WAY POINT WOHOOOOO
***
Phase 3
Captain America: Civil War
I constantly needed to be hugged while watching this
in the end I was fine, like I’ve been way less okay after some of the other movies, but during? needed hugs and cuddles
I love that they were fighting each other it was just... umff you know
but also like,,, LOVE EACH OTHER
Wanda and Vision? no thanks I HATE IT
Steve and Sharon?? NO THANKS I HATE IT
literally that’s just weird on SO many levels
and that kiss was-- ugh I hated it.
SPIDER BOY !!!!! UGH I LOVE HIM ALREADY
Black Panther heLLOOO
ALL THE STUCKY THOOO
Tony and Steve fighting in the end got me :(
Doctor Strange
This one falls at the bottom of my list
It was the shortest movie but it felt SO LONG because I was so bored through all of it
it just never got me hooked, I didn’t get invested in the story at all.
there weren’t even any characters that I liked enough to want to see more
sure another infinity stone and getting to know doctor strange and shit, I get why you kinda need to watch it
but I doubt I’ll watch it again
Guardians of the Galaxy 2
just like with the first one, kinda meh
I didn’t really get into it until the last half hour or so
the music really carried this movie tho
and baby groot !!!
I love Nebula so much, such a great character
Yondu dying was really great, it did a lot for his character
I still don’t really like Peter Quill
I feel like it was barely contributing to the infinity saga, the only thing that’s somewhat connected is that Nebula wants to kill Thanos, and the only reason I know that’s connected is because of spoilers
because I’m not really supposed to know the significance of Thanos at this point
but then again, maybe I’ll feel differently when I’ve finished all the movies
Spiderman: Homecoming
SPIDEY BOY !!!!!!!!!
THIS IS A FAVORITE
I CANNOT EVEN BEGIN TO EXPRESS HOW MUCH I LOVED THIS MOVIE
THE TONY/PETER INTERACTIONS WERE SO GREAT
PETER IS A BABY AND HE’S SO GREAT AND AAAAAHH
HE’S ON MY LIST BTW
AND LIKE,,, CAN WE TALK ABOUT HIS FIGHTING SOUNDS COMPARED TO EVERYONE ELSE’S???? Like steve and thor and shit are all like huOH heeeUH oAH ya know?? and then peter’s over here like eeh heh mmmMHF
HE’S JUST REALLY GREAT AND AAH I LOVED THIS MOVIE SO MUCH
LITERALLY SMILED THROUGH ALMOST ALL OF IT
except when things were going bad and during the fight scenes and shit and when he was in big danger and stuffs
BUT LIKE AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH
SO GOOD
OH OH OH AND STEVE’S LITTLE EDUCATIONAL VIDEOS WERE SO CUTE AH
hehehheheh and the end credits tho heheheheh
ANYWAY I LOVED THIS MOVIE SO SO SO SOO MUCH
Thor: Ragnarok
ANOTHER FAVORITE AAAAH
ALL THE BROTHERLY MOMENTS THO
Kinda mad that we didn’t get a hug there in the end but oh well
Thor is so sassy and goofy in this one I love it
ugghhhhh I love Loki so much
Hela has so much Maleficent vibes
Heimdall yESSS !!!
all the Thor/Hulk interactions were so PRECIOUS AAH
this was just such a great movie with great character development for both Thor and Loki and ughhhh IT WAS SO GOOD
“get help” was fucking ICONIC
VALKYRIE THO
oof not excited for infinity war :((
Black Panther
this one falls somewhere in the middle for me
like it was good, but it’s not up there
my main issue with it is that it didn’t really feel so much like a superhero movie, it was more just like... family drama
but Shuri tho, love her
and all the awesome ladies fighting!!! yes!!!!
BUCKY!!!
Avengers: Infinity War
I am not okay
I will never be okay again
I thought Loki dying was gonna be the worst part - and honestly, knowing about it beforehand made it less painful actually
but NO NO NO
THE LAST 15 MINUTES IS JUST A CRYFEST HUH
REAL NICE THANK YOU
oh gosh I can’t even think
I told y’all I didn’t like Peter Quill and well, HE DESERVED WHAT HE GOT
oh gosh nope
I’ve been feeling guilty that all of y’all had to wait a full year for endgame but AT LEAST THEN YOU HAD TIME TO BE OKAY AGAIN BEFORE ENDGAME
fucking shit what have I gotten myself into
Ant-Man and the Wasp
I liked this one better than the first ant-man
It’s still not up there but it was good
idk it could just be bc I know the characters more this time or because I kind of had pretty low expectations but I liked this more
oh also maybe I was just happy that I didn’t have to see like all my favorite characters die like I did yesterday :(((
still not okay
anyway, ant-man and the wasp
I really liked Ava, really great character honestly
I liked Hope a whole lot more this time around
still don’t really like her and Scott together, especially after her mother like talked through him and shit. I feel like if I was Hope and my mother talked to me through my love interest, I would feel pretty weird about it all
but maybe that’s just me idk
oh but what I do like about scott and hope is all of hank’s comments about them
he’s funny hehehe
also Luis! great dude
okay but Bill FOSTER???? as in JANE FOSTER?? SEEMINGLY HAVING NO CONNECTION AT ALL???
there’s too many double names in this whole ass franchise and I’m upset
two Peters, two Eriks, two Fosters.... like I know that’s what real life is like, people have the same names, but THIS IS FICTION
YOU CAN AVOID THE CONFUSION
that wasn’t totally related to this movie specifically but this was the third strike dudes, I couldn’t just ignore it anymore.
oh oh oh and I did not appreciate the mid credits scene, I DON’T NEED REMINDERS OF THAT PAIN THANK YOU VERY MUCH
Captain Marvel
this one falls somewhere in the middle for me
like it was good, and I enjoyed it a lot, but it just wasn’t really anything that left me all like woooaaaah omg AH you know???
I really liked how it connected back to previous movies like with Ronan and the Kree people from GOTG and the tesseract and all that jazz
where can I get myself a flerken tho I want one
I appreciate that no one turned into dust, that was nice
my main problem with this movie is that HER POWERS MAKE NO SENSE
like in the beginning it was kinda okay. I didn’t understand her powers, but at least they felt reasonable
then we got to the end and all of a sudden she’s flying and glowing and strong enough to stop and redirect a fuckin missile, and then she’s FLYING INTO BOMBS AND COMING OUT THE OTHER END COMPLETELY UNSCATHED??
OH AND THEN SHE FLIES INTO FUCKIN SPACE WITHOUT A HELMET OR ANYTHING AND SHE CAN BREATHE JUST FINE???
it just makes no sense, it’s completely unreasonable and it makes her too perfect to me. Too unbeatable. I don’t like it.
but all in all a good movie, loved seeing young Fury and shit
Avengers: Endgame I WILL NEVER BE READY
As I thought, I wasn’t ready
But, I actually think that knowing about Tony beforehand made it a bit easier
I still wish I hadn’t known
and I still bawled like a baby
but like,,, I think I would have been way worse off if I hadn’t known
I’m just so sad now
I really need a hug
and even though I just cried more than I’ve done all year I need to cry some more I think
I’m glad everyone who got dusted came back, although I kinda knew they would
well, I would have been fine with Quill staying dusted tbh. I really don’t like that guy
NATASHA WAS NOT ALLOWED TO DIE, I WILL NOT BE OKAY WITH THIS :(
oh gosh yeah I know I have more thoughts about this movie that I wanna say but I need to be more okay first oh man
okay hi again, it’s the next day and I’m still sad but here are some more thoughts:
I hated the whole Bruce/Hulk think. All the good parts about each side of his character were just erased.
I don’t even see the purpose of it.
Okay I kinda knew that Steve was gonna go back to the 40s, but I WASN’T SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT SO SHH
anyway, I didn’t like Steve staying in the 40s, and here’s why:
he knew that this was the single one out of 14 million times they won against Thanos, so he knew that changing anything at all would fuck it up
but at the same time, I find it hard to believe that Steve could be aware that Tony and Nat dies and not want to do anything about it
even though he knows he can’t
so wouldn’t it have been easier to just go back to the present after he returned all the stones? So he wouldn’t have to live with that dilemma?
ALSO, I WILL NOT ACCEPT that after everything he did to get Bucky back, he just leaves him. Just like that.
Literally the only reason this makes sense is as a setup for the Falcon and The Winter Soldier Disney+ series.
But I still don’t like it
Spiderman: Far From Home
This was nice, I needed this.
I didn’t like it as much as homecoming, but I didn’t expect to considering how much I loved hoco
it was really nice to see some more Peter Parker bc i love him but also like,,, most of it was traumatized spidey boy :((( and that was sad :(
He’s literally just a child and he’s already so damaged and it’s big big sad
the high school vibes were immaculate
not that I’ve actually been to high school in the US but like,,, it felt like a high school movie okok
Okay but like May’s character really did a full 180? I don’t really understand where that all came from, but uhhhh okay then
Okay, Quentin Beck.
before we realized he was bad, I already didn’t like him, cuz it seemed like he was gonna start to become a new father figure for Peter and I WAS NOT COOL WITH THAT
but then I understood that that wasn’t happening so it’s all good
he’s a pretty cool antagonist. not a fave, but pretty cool.
OH OH FLASH IS SO GAY FOR SPIDERMAN THO RIGHT
he actually got some real nice character development that I had not expected, that was nice
all in all, great movie, I love my spidey boy.
pretty sad that I’m done tho... :(
but also like, I watched all of them (except incredible hulk) in 34 days. That’s kinda impressive, right?
ALSO THERE’S NO MORE SPOILER DANGER YAY !!!
and finally, here is my ranking of the movies based on how much I liked them:
0. The Incredible Hulk ( didn’t watch )
SPIDERMAN: HOMECOMING
Thor: Ragnarok
Captain America: Winter Soldier
Avengers: Age of Ultron
Iron Man 3
Avengers
Captain America: Civil War
Spiderman: Far From Home
Iron Man
Avengers: Infinity War
Thor
Avengers: Endgame
Iron Man 2
Thor: The Dark World
Captain Marvel
Black Panther
Captain America: The First Avenger
Ant-Man and the Wasp
Guardians of the Galaxy 2
Ant-Man
Guardians of the Galaxy
Doctor Strange
#i did it guys#aw man#i'm a little bit lost now tbh#like what do i do now#ooc#mcu#marvel cinematic universe#infinity saga
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Recently rewatched endgame, I can’t stop thinking about what if Steve or tony got caught back in 1970 camp Leigh?
btw always look forward to your new chapters/drabbles! 💕
btw always look forward to your new chapters/drabbles! 💕
Oh my God you are so sweet <3 Also uh...I never saw Endgame? Just bits and pieces. I know, I know.. I just can’t focus on movies with ADHD but on a rare good day. So uh...we’ll do the only scene I know from that section?? And I rewatched that scene and FUCK my heart is in shatters.
This goes with the theory that Steve had always been Peggy’s husband. Not my fave theory but it works.
--
Each step was a memory for him. Each step brought him back to another time, Christ almost a hundred years ago. He felt more ancient with that thought drilling into his head. He was ancient. And yet, as he walked down the hall, eyes down to avoid suspicion, he felt smaller. A whole foot and a half smaller, a whole hundred pounds lighter too. If he even breathed hard, he might feel that familiar feeling of asthma making it hard to breathe or the ache in his muscles from arthritis.
In a sense, he felt at home in Camp Lehigh, where he’d first started this journey. Funny, how it all came back around to here. How he was brought back home.
With his breath in his throat, Steve’s head dipped down further to step inside the nearest door, softly closing it behind him and laying his head back on the frame. His heart was beating in his throat, listening to the several pairs of feet past the door, the pair talking through the radios slowly died down. His eyes opened to take in the darkroom, his heart in his throat when he spots something familiar.
A photo of him, much smaller during his time here. That felt like a lifetime ago, even as his fingers traced over the frame. There was only one person who would have this… No.
His eyes fell onto the door he’d just entered, reading the name etched into the glass. Director Margaret Carter.
Peggy.
His eyes fell to the very woman across the room, a heavy sigh leaving his lips. No. How? How?!
The sigh took every bit of emotion out of him, the exhaustion, the fear, the longing, the want. He could feel his own face crumbling as he took the few steps closer until he was direct across from her. If she so raised her head, she’d see him. She was so close.
This close, he could see the streaks of silver in her hair, still prim and proper. He could count the freckles on her nose, the lashes on her eyes. He could hear her talking, sharply giving orders to agents just out of sight. Until a door slammed close, jostling the frame.
This. This is the woman he loved. Aged with grace and beauty. Wise beyond her years and finally in the power that she deserves. This is the woman that he wants. The person he needs to be with. This is the woman he craves to be with him in bed at night. Rather than being alone. This is the whole life he could’ve had before him. And the reality as he holds his own picture in his hand and watches her leave the room, a life he will never get.
A life he should get, he deserves to get. One stolen from him.
His throat feels tight, aware he’d been staring at the love of his life with his mouth hanging open. The tears burn his eyes. He blinks a few times in a rapid session, feeling the press of something metallic against his backside. His breath hitches as his eyes focus on the figure behind him, able to make her out in the reflection.
Peggy.
“It’s not often I get someone bold or stupid enough to break into my office,” Peggy mused, her voice still crisp and cusp as he remembered. No strain in her throat. The strokes hadn’t happened yet. “Tell me exactly who you are and what the hell you’re trying to steal from us.”
The picture fell from his grip, catching it with his foot so the frame didn’t break. He could see her eyes darting to it and had he been any other person, Steve would’ve taken that advantage of the distraction. Instead, his hands rose in the air to mimic surrender. The gun only dug deeper.
“You won’t believe me if I tried,” he whispered, keeping his voice soft and low, not wanting to show it was him. How did he explain everything? He couldn't. Tony was waiting for him.
“Try me,” Peggy scoffed. “And tell me why in the hell do you have his photo?”
There was that strain in her voice. Oh. That tugged on his heart, that killed him.
“Pe-Marge, I can’t. You just have to trust me, for the greater good, you’ll have to trust a stranger.” He was grasping at straws here, feeling them fall from his fingertips. He was going to lose it. How badly did he want to turn around and sweep her into his arms. To kiss her. Love her.
“Director.” A sharp correction, the gun digging harder, and the sound of it cocking made Steve shiver. “I’m no patient woman, agent. So tell me what in the hell you are doing here and you might get off easy.”
He couldn’t help it. He snorted. It was not the right time but the words it just drag a memory from him that he forgot. Get off easy. The last time Peggy had said that was to Bucky and Dugan when they’d been caught cheating at poker with her.
The gun faltered and he heard her breath hitch. It was quiet enough that she could hear her heart beating a tad bit faster.
“Steve?” Her face paled of all color when he sighed and turned around, hands still in the air. “How-how are you…?”
The pain mirrored in his eyes as he looked down at her, his eyes brimming with tears. His breath left him in that painful gasp, the love of his life, the very want and need before him. And all he was doing was causing her pain.
“You won’t believe me,” he whispered, slowly taking the gun from her and forcing that shaken smile. “Peggy. Christ...you…” The tears rolled down his cheek, unaware he was even breaking down until she’d touched him. He didn’t want to touch her, to ruin her. He was so selfish.
“Darling, what is it?” She asked as if she wasn’t crying, even as he bundled her into his arms.
His face pressed into her shoulder, even her smell was familiar. Still the same scent from the war. His hand came to the back of her curls and stroked over her hair, sniffing as their foreheads pressed together.
“I love you,” was all he could say, giving a shake of his head. “And I am fucking up so much by being here. I shouldn’t be here but I...this was on pure accident, I…”
“I know,” Peggy whispered, cupping his face again. “I know. He warned me and yet...I’m still surprised.” At Steve’s confused look, his brow knitting together, Peggy raised her ring finger. On it sat a tarnished ring that looked vaguely familiar. One that sat on his bedside table at this very moment, tarnished and rusted, but still his. The one he carried for so long to give to Peggy, to ask her to be his.
His eyes lit up, looking between the ring and her, Peggy’s head nodding.
“You came back. You always come back. It’s okay, darling. You’ll get your happy ending soon.”
--
Later that evening Peggy would go home to her beautiful yellow house with the wrap-around porch. She will climb the steps one by one and the door will open on her arrival. Before she will be the familiar face of her husband. The only one that’s held her heart.
She will melt into his arms as expected of her, as she wants and weeps. Steve had warned her for weeks that today was the day. That he would visit her. That she should not intervene but curiosity got the better of her. He would know because he would remember. And still yet, despite the warning, the sight of the younger Steve, the story playing in her head as to how their life came to be, it broke her heart.
“He looked so broken,” she whispered as they laid in bed together, Steve bundling her into his chest. “So heartbroken, so worried, so...”
“Lost,” Steve, a much older Steve with touches of gray in his hair and his voice an octave deeper. “Yes, I was. Even with you guiding my way, I seem to have gotten lost. Seeing you there...it broke something in me. It made me realize something, Pegs.”
“That olive green is not your color?” She teased, making Steve roll his eyes. She wiggled as he tickled her, the smile not quite reaching his eyes. She touched his cheek and pulled him into a soft kiss. “What is it?”
“How I was not as happy as I seemed, how I forced myself to be happy. How...I still and always loved you, no matter how much I denied it.”
Peggy’s fingers hadn’t left his cheek, pressing her forehead to his, their hands joined together. “And I will tell you something I told him. I love you too. I will never stop loving you but if you break into my office again like that I will run you through with my letter opener.”
Steve chuckled against her lips, shaking his head. “As one expects. Good thing I came back with roses or we might’ve had a problem.”
“No, darling, you would’ve had a problem.”
buymeacoffee
#Steggy#StevePeggy#Steggy Prompt#Nonny Prompt#Post Endgame#Also During Endgame#In between the scenes#What I wanted to happen almost#Peggy just LOOK UP
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Favs of Bucky Barnes
Bucky’s day off
Tantalus’ fruit
Bad girl - smut
Trust - she panics the day she finds him in te bathroom with scissors in his hands and fresly cut hair in a soft pile on the floor, innocently sandwiched between his bare feet
Panic - two little texts send yout heart into a frenzy, and when the super soldier responsible for them doesn’t reply, you just hope he’s still alive for him to hear exactly what you think of him
You made a list? - bucky finds a list you made
Apricity - bucky comes to you for comfort after a hard mission, but he doesn’t feel like he deserves you
“Why is she wearing my hoodie?” - bucky tries to figure out the reason behind his missing hoodie one day, relishing in the idea tha might be a win-win for both of you... but wha might that lead to?
Not a monster - bucky ends up teaching a class of seconds graders about WWII
Once a snap - thanos snapped and your world feel apart. now, five years later everything has been fixed but you
Bucky being soft - super soldier raised his voice around you and boy... he feels bad about it
Morning run - bucky likes reader and decides to join her and sam on a run
Pitching a tent - you and the team go on a camping trip together and you get stuck sharing a tente with bucky
Tease filled mornin - a few short and small innocent kisses ultimately turn into a game of “who can tease who better”
Let me show you - bucky gives reader a “redo” on her first time, and takes her virginity / smut
Jealous - you and bucky are in a sex-only relationship, the only problem is you’re in love with him. your friends constantly remind you that you should be together, but after a while you give up
Baby - bucky and Y/N drift apart, and bucky can’t figure out why
Always the friend part 1 - you and bucky are good friends. you consider him one of yout bests! unfortunately for you, you have developed a crush on him. you are too scared to teel him, because you don’t want to ruin yout friendship
- Always the friend part 2
Just friends.. part 1 - you and bucky became fast friends when you first started with the avengers. what happens when bucky gets a girlfriend who is not okay with you relationship?
- Just friends.. part 2
Good girl - bucky and reader turn eachother on with pet names - smut
The mood - “come on. I just wanna feel you” “i’m noot in the mood for sex” “let me just put the tip in then” - smut
If you love me, why did you hurt me? FIC - you dated bucky for five wonderful years! you thought he was the one! then, without reason, he ends your relationship, and gets a new girlfriend two days later! while you are both avengers, you still have to see him, and his girlfriend
Bad Match FIC
I ran - a new addition to the avengers, everyonde seems to like you... everyone except bucky barnes
You’re mine - smut
Yours - a new girl joins the team, and gets a little too close to bucky for your linking - smut
Push-ups
Benefits - you and bucky had been friends with benefits for a while, and of course someone catches feelings
Morning glory - spending the night at bucky’s for the first time has you very excited and a morning suprise really moves the relationship along
Make me hum - “your tongue is disgustingly long” “it is. never had a woman complain” “you’re insufferable” - smut
He’s your dancing queen - bucky is a man-child about indulging your want to watch mamma mia for the hundredth time, and when you came early a few days later you are met with something unexpected
F&MU - smut
No clue - Y/N and bucky hate each other. nobody knows why. whenever someone asks, the pair just say “I have my reasons”. some think that something happend between them when bucky was in hiding. some think that bucky did something to Y/N when he was the winter soldier. some think that there’s no actual reason, they simly hate each other
Slow dancing in a burning room - Y/N knew that bucky had to leave someday but that didn’t mean that she was ready when the day came
Roses FIC - bucky tells Y/N he’s the winter soldier. the next day, hes’ taken by the government and that’s the last Y/N sees of him... until they cross paths again. but what if bucky doesn’t remember her?
Doctor me up
Bubbles
You are so annoying, baby
Close to you - bucky loves Y/N, he didn’t mean to snap at her
Kiss me slowly
Falling like the starts
Hard Place
May I ask - you and bucky broke up a few months ago. conveniently enough, he gests called ou to an undercover mission and you were spared from seeing him everywhere you went... until he gets back and suddenly all the feelings are back
Dates - bucky organises a date for you
Self care
Valentine’s day - “why should we express our love and act romantic on this day when you can be all year round?”
New hair
Disney and chill
Soft Bucky
Player - being pennys best friend and falling for bucky - smut
Riding - where you ride his thigh - smut
Miscommunication - bucky has an accident and you come to his aid
Undercover - you and bucky have to act as a couple during a mission
Sleep Deprivation - bucky’s nightmares are getting the best of him, you help distract him
Safety - bucky steps in when an argument with your boyfriend takes a turn
Coincidences - an overheart conversation exposes some true feelings
Educating bucky - bucky is trying to cath up on everything he has missed
Temperature control - temperatures in the compund rise, you nedd to find some way to cool down
Trouble - a mysterious man catches your eye at a tony stark party
Priorities - bucky worries about the effect his job is having on his family
Unexplained events - the day goes from bad to worse. then you receive some news that could make or break everything
The bet - thor brings some asgardian liquor to one of tony’s party and bucky makes a bet that he may regret
Scheduling errors - you and bucky are stuggling to find time for each other
Starting over - set after the end of endgame, bucky wans to start over, he just isn’t sure how
The morning after - after a night of birthday celebrations you wake in your own bed. but you’re not alone
Trapped - the team encourage you to play 7 minutes in heaven. 7 minutes turns into 7 hours
Rules of engagement - bucky proposes to you. you’ll accept on one condition
Testing the brakes - after an argument you just have to get away leaving bucky feeling lost
Dinner plans - your romantic dinner plans don’t quite go to plan
Something borrowed - you may have borrowed bucky’s favourite t-shirt without telling him, you need to return it before he finds out
Defining scars - after a month long mission you spend the night wrapped in your hasbands arms
First - first time saying “I love you”
Reunited - after being put in cryo until shuri could fix him, bucky is woken up and feeling more like himself. shuri needs to talk to bucky and takes the reader with her
Dog tags and storage units - two things in this world belong to bucky. his tags, and you - smut
45 - “what do you mean not yet? you can’t expect me not to cum when you’re fucking me so good!” - smut
1 - “let me show you why you should stay in bed”
Just hitched - at steve’s wedding, you findyou have an asigned seat next to the one and only bucky barnes, aka, the best man - smut
Changes - reader and bucky go out to dinner and get drunk, back home she decides to take charge in bed
It’s what you need - bucky knows that reader just needs to get it fucked out of her system - smut
Selfies PICS
Stroking all day long - bucky has a thing for reader, who is an avid swimmer. upon seeing her practice in tony’s pool, he gets turned on
Ready to comply, to you - the winter soldier gets triggered to come out and play, but instead of taking orders from whoever set it off, bucky stays obedient to the reader
First time - bucky and the reader had been dating for a while and he finds out she's a virgin
Shower - sexy time in the shower with bucky after he worked out and he's all sweaty and he ran to the bathroom so he could press himself to your wet naked body instead of showering alone
BJ - a bj when bucky’s tryna get paperwork done
Risk - risky blowjob
Almost killed - reader almost gets herself killed on a mission, and Bucky tries to stop her but she’s independent and stands up for herself
But - “I love you, but stop talking”
Bite me - “I’m fully capable of kicking your ass”
Hurt - “ what the hell were you thinking? you could have been hurt.”
You - “you’re jealous.” “it’s always been you.”
Drunk - “how much did you have to drink?”
Stay - “(name), open the door!” “stay. please.”
Cold - “it’s freezing. come here.” + “I’ve loved you for years”
Make right - reader sees something she shouldn’t, and hurt feelings ensue.
58/82 - “come sit on my face, let me show you how much I missed you” “yeah, that’s it, baby, just like that”
82 - pulling hair kink
46,48,81 - “wanna see what I’m wearing underneath all this?” “I can’t wait to pu bruises all over that pretty skin” “is that a thong?”
5,47,93 - “you look good all soaking wet” “you deserve a reward for being so good today, what would you like it to be?” “it’s okay, honey, you can pull my hair as hard as you want while I’m between your legs”
6,12 - “are you sure that’s what you want? I could really hurt you” “you don’t have to be gentle with me, I don’t break easily”
How do you think a jealous Bucky would behave?
Protective boyfriend Bucky
Bucky dealing with a guy trying to steal his girl would include?
Jealous bucky headcanons
Protetctive bucky
It’s cold, take my jacket
Tomorrow - “you’re not leaving, are you?”
Cuddly - reader is feeling down and bucky makes sure her hair gets washed, bringing an array of stories and suds
Keeper - you were never supposed to be more than the winter soldier’s plaything, but some bonds can’t be broken
Always knew - you always knew in your heart steve didn’t belong to you. you just never imagined someone else did
Back
A bid on bucky - you spend thousands of dollars at a bachelor auction for bucky when you could’ve had him for free this entire time
Deserve - bucky overhears that he doesn’t deserve the girl he loves and he agrees
Pressed together
You make me feel - you make me feel so young. you make me feel so spring has sprung. and every time I see you grin, I’m such a happy individual
Control - smut
Promise - as soon as your fingers wrap around him, bucky takes in a sharp breath and his muscles go taut again. always ready to spring into action. fight or flight
22 - “I can see you undressing me with your eyes”
8 - “I love the way you taste”
9 - “you can get rough with me; I won’t break”
3 - “I can show you just how flexible I am”
15 - “you’re the only person I wanted to be with tonight”
80,89 - “why did I marry you?” “it took a lot of convinving”
No touching - bucky barnes vs. an idiot
Lazy morning - lazy morning with bucky. she has a wet dream, and he wants to make it come true
83,84 - “you can’t eat solids, only liquids until thursday” “come on, baby, up to bed”
Crushes and spam accounts SOCIAL MEDIA - y/n and bucky are teammates and she finds herself falling for the blue-eyed soldier. unable to find an escape, she rants about her feelings about him on an anonymous spam account. harmless, right?
I wished on the moon for you - after losing bucky, you were devastated. so when howard stark asks for volunteers for an experiment, you’re the first in lin
Help - two years after you and bucky broke up, the team needs your help
Nightmare - you’re not sleeping, and bucky notices
Sly as a fox SOCIAL MEDIA - after the blip, the avengers continue on with business as usual. but they soon find out that while they were away, someone took it upon themselves to do the job they left behind
Mais charmante SOCIAL MEDIA - james needs something. more specifically, he needs someone. someone he can take care of that’ll fill his daily quota of affection. who better than a college student whose heart is too big for her own good?
I’ll be home for christimas - bucky made a promise to his girl, and steve helps him keep it
I don’t need a roof - bucky thinks he’s running out of time, and needs to make sure his girl knows she’s taken care
68 - “let’s carve our initials into the tree”
125 - “(name)?” - “yeah?” - “I’m gonna kiss you now.” - “okay”
69 - “every time you touch me, I feel a little less broken”
The only one SOCIAL MEDIA - you’re the head engineer of stark industries (and peter parker’s older sister) and close friends with the avengers. you’ve always had a crush on one james barnes, however what happens when someone from your past comes in right as bucky starts to reciprocate your feelings?
Charcoal Drawings SOCIAL MEDIA - you are an art student and are forced to take a life drawing class which will include nude modeling. one little problem, the model is super fucking hot
Feelings you can’t deny SOCIAL MEDIA - you love working with your brother and best friends. but what will happen when bucky visits the avengers and you can’t seem to stop embarrassing yourself?
Secrect confessions SOCIAL MEDIA - after an unexpected break up with bucky, you change a few things. your hair, your number, even your schedule for the upcoming semester. but after weeks of dodging the topic, your roommates (MJ, peter and the twins) and your close friend natasha decide it’s time to help you move on
Sure, jan SOCIAL MEDIA - while writing your college history paper on WWII, you decide to tweet your favorite avengers, steve rogers and bucky barnes, for help. they were also the most qualified. it’s not like they would actually reply, right?
Okay, but can I get more ice cream first? - bucky takes care of you when you get your wisdom teeth removed
Here comes trouble - you were supposed to be dating peter parker. then can someone explain why the hell bucky is treating you better than your own boyfriend
I hate everybody SOCIAL MEDIA - after spending the summer getting over your high school sweetheart, it’s time for new beginnings. what else is college for?
Mission report: laundry day - you and bucky have been secretly dating for over a year, what will it finally take for the others to find out?
Not happening FIC - an online dating site clearly makes a mistake when it matches you with the one person you cannot stand
Polyonymous SOCIAL MEDIA - you met james on twitter three months ago, and you’ve talked everyday since. you really like him, and you don’t think you’ve met anyone like him. that is, until the fateful night that brings the avengers to you. you meet bucky barnes, and then you’re stuck choosing between two guys so alike you find yourself asking why they couldn’t be the same person
Something more FIC - after a bad breakup you ask your best friend to take your virginity. it’s just friends with benefits. what could possibly go wrong?
All the blind dates SOCIAL MEDIA - after finding out that your boyfriend was cheating on you, you agree to go a few blind dates to help you move on
Little lion man - sent on an assignment back to 1943, you encounter a drastically different version of the man you know
Soldat - when a hydra agent finds a way to hack into FRIDAY’s system to trigger bucky into the winter soldier, he nearly kills you. in the aftermath, he can’t begin to find a way to forgive himself. not without your help
Not so sweet dreams are made of this - sometimes, bucky’s nightmares get a bit too real. sometimes, they even become a reality
Drunk on you - bucky has always been nervous around you. when he’s tasked with caring for you after a night of heavy drinking and suddenly you’re kissing him, bucky doesn’t know what to do. you couldn’t possibly want him sober, right?
Fireworks - bucky barnes doesn’t do crowds. he certainly doesn’t do fireworks. but he’d follow you just about anywhere
Lavender - not every nightmare is the same and bucky doesn’t always wake up as the man you know
Feel again - instantly captivated by the woman the nurses have dubbed the ‘frequent flyer’ of the emergency department, Bucky can’t help but fall for y/n. he relishes every moment he can spend with her and with her apparent clumsiness, it’s quite often. that is, until he learns the real reason behind her injuries
A new start - woken from a nightmare plagued with memories from his time in hydra, bucky finds himself standing at a mirror at 3am holding a pair of scissors, determined to cut away the strongest connection he has left to that time. his hair
Cold, cold water - while on a stakeout in the heart of russia, bucky learns that touch can bring something more than pain and he will willingly give himself over to the ice if it means keeping you alive
The other side of the door - bucky would do anything to keep you safe. even if it meant sacrificing himself. even if it took him to the bottom of the ocean
A twice broken man - knowing what will happen if hydra ever captures him again, bucky asks the impossible of you. the road to recovery is not an easy one
I still need you - bucky tries to end his life. the reader has to give him a reason to live
Remembering him - the reader can play with minds and memories. she gets hired by tony stark to restore a certain super soldier’s memories
Camera view - while triggered into winter soldier mode, bucky nearly kills the reader
All yours - you have to flirt while on an undercover mission. bucky is jealous and not having any of it - smut
Unconventional night out - the reader meets bucky while they are both hiding inside a restaurant, one from a creepy guy at the bar, the other from a terrible blind date
Let me help you - reader is one of the only people that is kind to bucky (besides steve obviously) and he doesn’t understand why but the reader is too scared to say that theyre in love with him
Eight times - eight times Bucky Barnes said ‘I love you’ without saying ‘I love you’, and the one time he actually said it
Only thing that matters - t’s the morning after, and bucky makes it clear you mean more to him than he lets on
Milo - when a little black kitten won’t leave bucky alone, he has no choice but to take it home with him
Conscious - when bucky gets seriously injured on a mission, it’s your job to keep him awake until backup arrives
Trigger - while held captive during a mission gone wrong, bucky realizes that the enemy is going to trigger his winter soldier mode. in a panic and desperate to prevent that, he begs the reader to do the unthinkable
You"ll go away - the reader finally has bucky. but will her anxious mind ruin her newfound relationship?
Impaled - you’ve been pining after bucky for months. a compromising situation during a mission brings you a lot closer to him than you expected
Confessions after dark - you’d been in love with bucky barnes from the minute you set eyes on him. the only problem? bucky barnes had hated you from the minute he set eyes on you. when the two of you find yourselves forced together on an assignment, some unexpected revelations are made in the darkness of a shared motel room
Wanderlust adventures SOCIAL MEDIA - y/n is a popular travel blogger, and a freelance travel writer for a magazine. she travels the world with her two best friends, valkyrie who is a freelance graphic designer that the reader “drags” out of bed to see the world, and carol who’s a new up and coming model. this is the first time in a year all three girls are traveling together due to carol’s new busy career. a month long european excursion, that might end up being their last trip together due to their lives taking them elsewhere. bucky barnes used to be a model but now travels the world with his best friends. he has a hard time commiting to one thing, which is why he loves to travel so much. he travels the world with his two best friends, steve who runs a gym in brooklyn and sam, who works for a popular food magazine where he gets to travel and eat all the food he wants. bucky has once again convinced his childhood best friends to join him on a month long trip to escape the trapped feeling of being back in New York. steve and sam are worried about bucky and his constant need to runaway from his issues, they’re hoping this trip will be an eye opener for their friend
Oh no, that's bad SOCIAL MEDIA - you’re a college student, you’re mad angry, bucky ruins your paper, that’s not good is it?
SPY SOCIAL MEDIA - cap and sam recruit a new super soldier whilst on a mission in paris. when she moves into the avengers tower, she immediately hits it off with everyone, except bucky. will they ever make it past their differences enough to realise just how perfect they are together?
Promisse SOCIAL MEDIA - you and bucky met when you guys were kids. everyone that didn't know you thought that you were both dating, everyone that knew you thought you both should be dating each other. "we're just friends" were what you both will say when others ask if you're dating. but are you both really just friends?
Lost in a crowd SOCIAL MEDIA - Lilith Greene is in her junior year of her creative writing degree program. she's best friends with peter parker and his girlfriend MJ, and mostly spends her time telling the pair to get to class when she's not writing poetry
Sleep and other things
Took you long enough - ontrary to popular belief, sam qilson did care for bucky barnes. does he mess with him any chance he gets? yes, but he makes it so easy (and it’s always out of love). so when he notices the super assassin turn into super mush around a certain teammate, he knows he has to do something about it
Epiphany - "you keep saying that you're friends, but you look at him a moment too long for that to be true"
Are you leaving my love behind? - at lot can happen in five years, but even more can happen in a few months
I hate you, really hate you - you’re married and truths about your marriage are about to come to light
Years later - bucky doesn’t have the best of luck. or at least he didn’t until the day he finally met his soulmate
Why can't I say I'm in love? - as a young girl you went into town with your parents to see the villagers. that’s where you met one little boy who would change your life and your heart. but as the princess of the kingdom, there are things that are expected of you. falling in love with the baker’s son is not one of them
The first of many - sometimes people surprise you
Helpless - we were at a revel with some rebels on a hot night
GSW - after getting injured in Brooklyn, steve forces bucky to visit the local VA hospital
Late night devils - bucky gets revenge on his ex with you, the girl he never got over no matter how much he thought he did - smut
If the world was ending - bucky knows he’s still in love with you a year after the two of you mutually agreed to break up. when one phone call spirals into one plan being made and then another, and then suddenly he’s staying at your place, he wonders if there may be a chance to try again
Scorched - “you utterly destroyed me, you know that? I loved you more than I needed to breathe and you just walked away. I lost everything and you walked away”
Dog tags - you are a kept prisoner by hydra, your role is to fix soldat’s metal arm whenever it gets damaged in a mission. you grow fond of each other and you decide to save him
The only one FIC - you were in love with this guy and in college, you could’ve made it work but you had to go home and now 6 years later it might be too late to be with the only man you ever truly loved
Happiness FIC - you are best friends with bucky and then something happens that will change your relationship with him forever
Faking it FIC - you are sent on a mission by fury, only problem is your mission partner, and fake boyfriend, is the one person on the team you cannot stand
Always take care of you - some post-mission friskiness with bucky boy - smut
Undercover - you and bucky go on an undercover mission, where you need to pretend to be married. you are close to solving the case when bucky decides he’s done pretending
Rusted - the team encounters helmut zemo, who activates the winter soldier
Valentine's shots - bucky indulges in some bodyshots
The five times bucky saved you FIC - you have a special bond with bucky. he’s more than your best friend, your partner in missions, the person you care most about. he often saved you from uncomfortable situations, always ready to protect you, but sometimes, you are the one who did the saving
Fight for you FIC - at the annual local boxing championship, Y/N is the leading medical specialist on call. it’s a whole new environment, and despite the drastic change, she loves it. bucky barnes is the reigning boxing champion of brooklyn. virtually undefeated, this tattoo artist by day, boxer by night is someone that is now fighting his way into Y/N’s head. and she’s helpless in front of his winning streak
Flowers bloom FIC - whenever someone is injured, flowers bloom on their soulmate at the area of the wound. she is born with flowers around her entire left shoulder
Guiding light FIC - it was supposed to be a simple mission. get the intel and go home. until everything goes wrong and you’re taken captive by hydra. while you struggle to stay alive and hold your sanity, bucky begins to lose himself to a darkness and gives into the soldier because he doesn’t know how to breathe without you. not until he brings you home. If he even can
Home - fresh out of a divorce, Y/N moves to sun valley for a fresh start, a house left to her by her aunt and a new job as a nanny. James ‘bucky’ barnes owns a law firm and has been left with three kids after his wife died giving birth to their youngest. bucky is nervous about leaving the kids with a nanny but he cant keep finding babysitters and the kids need someone more permanent around
Sup, professor SOCIAL MEDIA - bucky barnes is the “most handsomest man” that you have ever laid your eyes on and oh, would you look at that. he's your professor
Oh no, it's you SOCIAL MEDIA - you have your life figured out, doing good in med school, moved on from your past, and even got a new job with that apartment that your family left you. oh would you look at that, your new neighbor is bucky barnes, a model and a rising actor. oh yeah, he also happens to be the guy that you claim to have moved on from. fuck
- Hey, it's me again - you got the wrong number but it’s okay you have nice memes and oh sure I can help you out and oh no..nonononononono….im not falling for you…..right?
What the hell, bucky? SOCIAL MEDIA - you and bucky grew up together as he lived right across the street. he’s the world’s biggest asshole, but also your most trusted confidant. no, you don’t have a crush on him. because bucky is steve’s friend and steve likes you
Dog tags - tony holds a ball, and your boyfriend get’s a little distracted when he sees you
Assert dominance
Love by mistake SOCIAL MEDIA
All in my head SOCIAL MEDIA - y/n l/n makes some friends who all live on the same floor in the dorms. they are all freshman health and human development majors at NYU
Savior - you and bucky are trapped in a HYDRA base and about to be killed. or maybe not…
Bad boys do it well - rumor is that bucky wants to ask you out but word on the street was that you didn’t date bad boys
Intimacy - you tend to your boyfriend's wounds after he returns from a mission and you share an intimate moment
No subtleties
Salt
Cuddle with me - steve did not expected to find his best friend there
Ocean eyes - this is the story of James bucky barnes learning what love and being loved is like
Best friends - you're best friends with bucky but you struggle with being around him due the fact that you heya feelings for him and boy does he love to flirt. you talk to Steve all the time about your liking towards bucky and how you think he may like you back but then you start to notice how close he's gotten with Natasha and that thread of hope flies out the window
- Best friends part 2
I'm breaking up with you - bucky tries breaking up with you but you're not having it
Shy - you like bucky but every time you try and talk to him, he avoids you
- Shy part 2
Art - bucky is insecure about his metal arm
Only you can do that
14
Insults - reader and bucky can't get along one day while they are arguing bucky realizes he actually likes her and starts to act weird and she confronts him about his acts
I love you
Worries - bucky overhears that you worry that he will leave you natasha
Underneath the mistletoe - there's a Christmas party and sam uses redwing to hold a mistletoe over people making them kiss and he keeps trying to get bucky and y/n but bucky keeps running away cause he's nervous and scared cause he has a huge crush on her
My girl - bucky saw your ex kiss you and bucky goes wild and attacks him
Seduce me - bucky has to be with you yo protect you in an operation where you have to flirt and seduce someone and he goes all jealous
Suck a flirt - bucky gets drunk and flirts with reader
Fool
Realization - Y/N is in love with bucky but he is dating and in love with someone else. however the girl broke his heart and he finally realizes a year after his heartbreak that he loves Y/N
Distance - you’re insecure that bucky still likes natasha and will leave you for her and you start to distance yourself from him and it hurts him when you two barely talk anymore
Pick me - reader need help with a world history unit abou the WWII, so the two super soldiers fight over who’s going to help her
Camping - the whole team went on a camping trip and they all knew that bucky and the reader have feelings for each other, so they decided to them in one tent
Joint custody - reader and bucky broke up, having to share time with their kid which ultimately brings them back together
8,66 - “are you eating again?” “you look good enough to eat”
3 - “this is me. I am the eye of the storm and my heart is a little broken but if you want me, I’m yours”
Bottles, babies and bucky SOCIAL MEDIA - Y/N and bucky are a couple of newlyweds eager to bask in their honeymoon period after their dream wedding. However, they soon find that this won’t be easy with 3 rambunctious small children running around the Brooklyn small apartment the family lives in. what happens when Y/N finds out she’s expecting? how will she tell bucky who made it very clear that their third child was also to be their last?
Weekend at bucky’s SOCIAL MEDIA - workaholic bucky barnes is a successful CEO of a prosthetics company that works endlessly to meet the needs of the people in desperate need of his products. his best friends steve rogers-wilson and sam wilson-rogers signed up the CEO for a nightly adult writing class after he let slip his desire to write his own story but currently lacked the skills to do so. Y/N is the teacher of this particular class whilst she trains to become a kindergarten teacher, she lives with her roommates natasha romanoff and wanda maximoff however it feels more like she has 4 roommates the amount of time her friends better halves spend at their small brooklyn apartment. they keep her sweet with clints amazingly good brownies and vision is just a wonder of personality in Y/N’s opinion. what will happen between the two when they meet and get to know each other at these classes? what happens when Bucky invites Y/N to spend the weekend at his cabin upstate? will take them a weekend to fall in love? or a weekend to fall out of it?
Coffe and cratons SOCIAL MEDIA - kindergarten teacher bucky barnes suddenly finds himself becoming a frequent customer of a cozy little coffee shop, newly opened around the corner of his school. self-proclaimed queen of coffee and the shop’s owner Y/N quickly finds herself giving barnes the title of “favourite customer”. will caffeine simply be their only addiction or will they find a new release within each other?
TEXT
Words left unsaid SOCIAL MEDIA - you’re a graduate student at a university pursuing a doctorate degree in biology while also working in a prestigious lab under alexander pierce. however, the university requires you to take an english course to ensure you are fully competent in teaching a course and able to write your dissertation. lucky for you, you’re allowed to take an undergraduate english class, which would be much easier than an upper division one. with a full graduate course load, teaching a 4-hour anatomy lab and working in lab the rest of the days, this english class is the least of your worries. but once you meet your professor, that all changes; you were never interested in anyone or had time for anyone. but for him, you’re willing to try
Trepidation - everything in your world was right until bucky’s ex girlfriend came along
- Trepidation part 2
- Trepidation part 3
“You have a what?” - your 5 year old daughter comes home from school and says she has a boyfriend this doesn’t sit well with bucky
I love you too
I need your help FIC - bucky gets an invitation to a family friends wedding and it turns out that his ex girlfriend will be attending as well. panicked at the thought of seeing her, he asks you, his best friend to attend the wedding with him as his girlfriend in attempts to show his ex that he’s moved on
Don’t say anything FIC - you finally decide to tell bucky that you’ve been in love with him since the day you met but what happens when you walk in on him with a girl? and not just any girl; natasha
Heartbroken - bucky cheats on the reader, she’s heartbroken and he realizes what he’s done, so he decide to do everything to get his girl back
Before it's too late FIC - bucky starts dating a girl from his history of art class. the only problem: you’re in love with him
Protective barnes - reader’s ex-boyfriend comes back to pick up some things and meets bucky, her new boyfriend
He understood - you try and convince bucky to attend tony's funeral
6
First date - what happens when Y/N forgets about her date with bucky and is babysitting her niece?
Sprained ankle - movie night at the tower goes south when someone sprains an ankle
It's 3 AM - Y/N has a nightmare about bucky and needs to make sure he is okay
Neighbors - Y/N is bucky’s neighbor and they find each other super adorable
A bit of warning would be nice - bucky is gets nervous when Y/N and sam come back late from a hike together
Glasses - Y/N’s contact lenses met an unfortunate fate which leads to her wearing her glasses
Unexpected - Y/N’s ex shows up unexpectedly. she feels scared that he is going to show up at her apartment so she asks bucky to stay the night
- Unexpected part 2
Gone - bucky is met with some trouble on a mission and loses contact with Y/N, who is helping him back at the tower
Hands off - you’re Steve’s cousin and he has some rules when it comes to you that bucky isn’t a fan of. mainly, that he can’t have you
Sometime around midnight - bucky lost you once…but he can’t again
Break you - bucky has himself a winter soldier episode, nearly killing his girlfriend as a result
A fear that changes - it was not the winter soldier that scared you, even on his worst day. no, what had scared you more than anything else was bucky barnes
What did I do wrong - bucky doesn't understand what he could have possibly done to lose the love of his life
Help a buddy out - you and bucky are roommates and you ask for him to teach you to be better at sex so you can please another guy
Clouds - bucky overhears something unsettling at a party
He's not the one
That's my girl
The bet
Second chance - Y/N gives bucky a home, a family, a love, a second chance
I'll never forget
Safe house - when a mission goes south, you make it a personal mission to make your boyfriend bucky barnes see the light at the end of the tunnel by taking him to your safe house
You don't have to be alone
Three ways you can dance - one can dance in three ways; fists, feet and lips
Toothpaste kisses - in which Y/N makes herself at home, and bucky is only too happy about it
Homesick of home - in which the reader finds herself at her childhood home, away from the person she truly considers her actual home
Fond of the classics - when the sexual tension between you and bucky is stifling, natasha becomes her scheming, conniving self - smut
The best life - in which you tell your favourite people (what could be) the best news in the world
"Someone like me doesn't get happy endings"
Paris
Deathcycle
Something new - short blurb about you sitting on bucky’s face because I’m a sucker for face sitting and for bucky
Angry
Drunken girls night - just a cute bucky blurb of bucky taking care of you when you come home drunk
Going down - “I have found a new home, and it’s between your thighs.” bucky said cheekily, “I’d rather say here for a while”
End of the day - you: I want to watch horror movies with your hand either down my pants or stroking my hair. I can’t decide. bucky, your hot detective boyfriend: I have two hands, I can do both ;)
Troublemaker - you thank bucky in your own wonderful way. he kinda loves it
Laundry day - well, it’s laundry day and it turns out to be eventful
Possible-future-girlfriend - bucky claims you can’t flirt for shit, you prove him wrong
Home - after a rough mission, bucky just wants to go home. he learns what that word truly means when he gets there
Only love can hurt like this
Speak up - Y/N’s gotta stop mouthing off… or does she?
The power of a promise - you and bucky are taking a trip to visit your parents and he promises to behave
Love like ours - "I want to kiss every inch of your body before I fuck you"
Another bad day - "I wanna take my time with you tonight" "yes I know I cry a lot, so what?"
Your bucky
Bucky to the rescue - "I'd rather die than let you get hurt"
Beautiful morning - "have I told you that you look the most beautiful when you wake up?"
Kisses - "quick, kiss me!"
Family time
A bet
My gorgeous queen - "excuse you! have you ever looked at your reflection? you're so gorgeous I wanna stab out my eye!"
Are you afraid? - reader finds out she's pregnant and is absolutely petrified to tell bucky because he's still in recovery and it was unplanned
Playing to win - game night takes an exciting turn and bucky’s answer to a particular question really gets you thinking
The ball pit - "I don't want to lose you"
That's a promise - "I'm gonna fuck you so much you'll be pissing my cum for days to come"
Hand tricks - "blindfolds heighten your senses, maybe that's why you're whimpering louder than usual"
Caught with your pants down - walking in the common room and finding bucky playing with himself on the couch in his sleep
Hunger - bucky is trying out some new recipes for the restaurant, he asks you to have a taste and you ask for a cooking lesson
Beautiful - bucky is dating reader who struggles with her wight feeling like she's too skinny, oe not curvy enough to be with them
Sweet frostings - baking peanut butter cupcakes for bucky while he's away on a mission
Lucky charm - bucky rescues you in more ways than one
I'm not scared - bucky and reader snuggling up for the first time. reader's hesitant to lay their head on his left shoulder. seeing him deflate they admit they're just scared it might hurt him when they lay their head where metal meets flesh
Unrequited
- Unrequited part 2
Good morning, soldier! - reader walking into bucky’s room to surprise him for his birthday, and reader is flustered when she sees he is buck naked on top of the sheets and subconsciously playing with himself in his sleep
Love in bloom - it’s your birthday and bucky makes the day special in every way, even taking you to a place you’ve always wanted to visit in spring
Like the good ole days - reader and bucky in quarantine
Match mode - being rebecca’s caretaker and with her when her brother bucky shows up to reconnect one day. she also may or may not play matchmaker between the two of you
I need you
Chibis everywhere - showing bucky all the cute and funny chili fan arts of him
Confessions of love - you confess your feelings for bucky to natasha during a girl’s night. completely unaware of a certain pair of ears listening
Helping a roomie out - bucky is your new roommate, a hot delicious snack on legs
Smell of roses - “fuck you smell so good.” “did I smell bad yesterday?”
Past and present - reader ends up during the 30s and meets "young" bucky. she always had a crush on him but he never indicated he'd interested in her. 30s!buckys immediately wants to take her on a date and everything
Flaws - reader and bucky arguing over each other's personality flaws during a rough round of sex - smut
It's not a micro - he hasn’t been in a relationship for a long time. all his dates seem to hit it and quit it. you have this thing… you tease him that they don’t stick around because he’s got a micro-cock. one day he shows you exactly how wrong you are
Sassy doll - “there’s a reason I don’t celebrate my birthday.” “is it because you’re so old you don’t even remember when it was?”
Just gettin' started - "kiss my ass" "sucky my dick"
No more games - "when we get home, I'm cuffing you to the bed and going down on you all night" "fine by me, you look hot with you head between my legs"
Heart of gold - bucky finds you hanging out with loki and he immediately thinks it’s because you like him. problem is, bucky likes you…now what!?!
Say it again - on a regular night at the compound you’re all drinking wine and having fun when things get a little heated between you and bucky…
Finders keepers - oreos, bucky’s henley and scary movies…
The secret drawer - bucky accidentally finds your large dildo/vibrator in your secret drawer in the bedroom
Secrets - “Did you fart? It smells like ass in here.” “Not my fault you finally smell your own scent.”
Drench me - "spit on my pussy. make me really wet"
Race to the finish - an innocent game of mario kart turns into much more when you get a feel of bucky’s beard
Don't even think about it - bucky threatens to shave off his beard so you come up with a plan to thwart his efforts…
Not my name - reader is tired of shitty sex and clint’s constant teasing. bucky decides to take matters into his own hands
Feeling is mutual - "can you feel what you do to me?"
Morning goodness - bucky and reader are in a new relationship and reader sleeps over for the first time, unexpectedly feeling the morning wood rubbing up against their ass
Sex on the... what? - "I really wanna have a sex on the beach" "it's winter though" "no you dummy, I meant the drink"
Whatever you say, pal - "I once had a woman pass out from an orgasm" "really? can't imagine what from. my banana is longer than your wiener"
The slip-up - bucky accidentally calling a new recruit "doll" and kinda hates how close she gets to him, making the reader jealous
I told you so - bucky is sick and mentions being horny
Come back, come back to me - "look at my horny and sex staved little doll. you're dripping onto my sheets"
He finds out your secret
Nat calls you a prude and your secret is revealed
Find you - after he broke off with you, you got a phone call that left you worried, you had no chance but to find hi and make sure he was okay
Because he can
Motorcycle - bucky punishing you by putting you on the back of his motorcycle with no panties while he rides fast and the feeling of the vibrations of the bike between your legs has you soaked
Daddy kink - reader has a daddy kink and Bucky finds out an teases her about it and makes her cum so many times, she’ll think she passes out
Age gap - where reader is significantly younger than bucky
Never leaving you - reader is alone in the tower and someone breaks in shooting her
I want to cuddle - reader with needy bucky
Protection - tony Starks little sister is in a failing relationship. they are at the tower arguing and Tony came in the room just as the guy was hitting her, but before he could do something about it, bucky storms over and knocks the guy through the wall
Halloween party
Leather jacket
The video - reader sees videos of bucky being tortured by hidra
Warmth - reader gets cold really easily and bucky keeps her warm
Dylan o'brien - bucky being jealous and extremely annoyed over you fangirl-ing over dylan o'brien new movie
Clingy - the boys tease bucky over him being a clingy and protective boyfriend
Secret admirer - bucky gets jealous and protective when he finds out that a man has been showering you, his wife, with gifts and presents and letters and confronts that man
I would never hurt you - bucky and reader don't get along, and he keeps making snarky comments and eventually the reader gets into a huge argument with him, he raises his metal hand and the reader gets scared
Shopping - you're Natasha's best friend and wanted to go shopping with her but she gets called to a mission. bucky sees you being pissed and offers to help
Bucky's plan - you and bucky are together, and bucky gets it in his head that'd be a great idea to dance with another woman ate a party to make you jealous
You deserve better - pietro is an ass to the reader and she is like best friends with buck
Safe - where steve goes to bucks apartment but instead of just bucky, he found too bucky's heavily pregnant girlfriend
Clint's daughter - reader is clint's daughter and last time bucky saw her was when she was younger and now she's grown up and he starts feeling things
- Clint's daughter part 2
- Clint's daughter part 3
Russian bucky - bucky pretending not to know english n only speaking russian and he overhears you talking about him
Suprise - you're bucky girlfriend and one day you surprise him after work in his room to see him just in some sweats after he had a shower
Short hair - steve one day takes bucky to get a haircut like the old days and he comes back to the tower handsome asf
Self defense trainer - bucky gives self defense lessons in his free time and you're there to take lessons
More than fucky buddies - you and bucky were having some kind of secret affair while living in the tower but also developed strong feelings for each other
You're good enough for me - bucky being insecure and jealous of pietro
Not so shy - you and bucky are a couple and all the other avengers ship you a lot
Not good enough - reader thinks she isn't good enough for bucky and thinks she doesn't have a chance, but unbeknownst to her, bucky loves everything about her
Shy - you're dating bucky but you're also a bit shy and you feel bad about it, but bucky thinks it's totally cute and loves it
Movie night - reader and bucky hate each other, and one night at the tower it's movie night and reader takes bucky's seat and when bucky comes back he tells her to get up but she doesn't
You and bucky don't get along
- You and bucky don't get along part 2
- You and bucky don't get along part 3
Save me
Mission impossible
The acquisition FIC - you are part of a business merger. can you make it through with your heart still intact, or will the winter solder tear you apart?
Cookies make everything better - your son has a nightmare and bucky makes cookies to make him feel better
Dream walker - you are able to enter bucky’s dream to help him
Distraction - bucky helps you in your time of need
Insatiable - "we've been at it like rabbits, how are you still horny?"
Saddle up! - bucky takes you for more than one good ride
When things get rough - bucky being soft and gorgeous while pretending to be your loving husband and being so good at it that you're both not sure if you're only pretending anymore until he gets jealous
I'll be okay - day in bed with bucky
His type - bucky reaction to hearing such lies coming from readers mouth when she's talking to her friend on the phone and is convinced she stands zero chance with him
Blind date
Medic
A touch of blue - you love wearing bucky’s henleys and his new blue one is too good to pass up
- A touch of blue part 2
Cocktail - you love to visit bucky at work
- Cocktail part 2
Bartender - bucky and you having sex on the bar after it closes
27
First for everything - losing your virginity to college bucky
Undercover lover - you and bucky are acting as a married couple on an undercover cop assignment. everything is under control until some asshole decides to get handsy
"You still have all of me, however broken I am"
Like this - body massage with bucky
Always - stripper reader with biker bucky
In the alley - you and bucky disagree on how you handled your mission
Big boy barnes - having sex with bucky for the first time and underestimate his size
Eavesdropping - "how long have you been standing there?"
Scream for me - smut with no plot
Mishaps - bartender bucky
Fun at the BBQ - reader gets cheeky during the summer BBQ
Only yours - "your ass is gonna be seven different shades of red after that little stunt
Faster, soldier - "faster" "I need you to hold onto something then"
The mall
I wish we were alone now - "I can't wait until we're alone. there are so many things I want to do to you right now"
Homecoming - 40s bucky
Six steamy sentences
Bucky has a hard time - sam mixed bucky's pills up and he's accidentally taken some viagra. now he's rock hard in the middle of Siberia with you in a tent
Better than a dream - bucky has a wet dram and trudges to reader's room in the early morning for sex
The edge of glory - you and bucky try something new in the bedroom
Food for thought - "stick your fingers in the pie and have a taste! it's delicious!" "I'd rather stick them in you"
Soft beard, warm beard - "tour beard is so soft"
Seal the deal - you and make make a deal over a game of twister
My face, your boxers
Pretty girl - bucky barnes is your mentor as tony stark puts you through the ultimate training before you’re officially named an avenger. however, working with bucky proves to be difficult as his cold nature to your only makes you want him more
Squat here often? - the thought alone preens another wet moan straight from the base of your throat. bucky picks up on it, nuzzling the shape of his lips into the source with a hum. his voice is a soft cradle on the bare skin. “you’re something carved straight from a teenage wet dream. so tight and little .. always bent over. sometimes, I just want to haul you to the locker room mid set and bend you over one of those benches”
Surprise
Ditto - you and bucky are on a mission and forced to share the king sized bed. with wouldn't usually have been a problem if you and bucky didn't hate each other's guts
Thirsty
Knife skills
All of me
Tall, dark and handsome
Silence - bucky is distant and you don't know what to do
Like your eyes - you have a crush on bucky Barnes and watch helplessly as he gets dressed for his date
Wrong side of the bed - bucky is in a bad mood and accidentally snaps at reader who is very shy and timid and she spends the day in her room
Pineapple pizza - being forced into getting a personal trainer by your friend, you soon find yourself swooning for the man himself
- Pineapple pizza part 2
Mentor - bucky barnes is your mentor that you have developed a crush on, one night feelings are revealed and you say the wrong thing, immediately regretting everything
Cozy - cozy cuddles and banter with bucky
Hot chocolate - bucky's cafe is your little sweet escape
Pda - a view of bucky and his struggle with pda
The five times you lay your eyes on bucky
Cold - you’re in the shop with bucky as he works on fixing up his bike, getting colder by the minute, until you decide to ask bucky to warm you up
Tradition - who knew bucky was one for a holiday tradition?
Daydream - you and bucky intimately reconnect with one another
Man's best friend - you take in your neighbours dog for a night only to learn that a dog is man’s best wingman
I quit - while working as a nanny for bucky barnes, you slowly develop feelings for him, only growing more and more in love with him
Groceries - you encounter bucky barnes and his five year old son during a trip to the supermarket, little did you know that little leo was the world’s greatest wingman
Nsfw alphabet
Favorite girl - bucky barnes is the leader of the most dangerous mob in new york city, but when he finds you, his favourite dancer, at his local strip club he can’t help but fall for you. but he wants you to be more than his favourite dancer, he wants you to be his favourite and only girl
Impatient - with bucky’s busy lifestyle you don’t get him to yourself often, so when you think he’s finally free you intend to have him all to yourself
Best friends daughter - bucky barnes walks with confidence and elegance radiating off of him, tantalizing everyone he meets. you met your dad’s best friend with no intentions of falling for him, but it seems the universe had different plans
The busted shower head - a busted shower head results in mind-blowing shower sex with your neighbour, who also happens to be your dad’s best friend
More than perfect
Cafe au latte - bucky stars working at the coffe shop you own and feelings happen
Scorned - losing your father and natasha was enough. now, the man who you have sacrificed every fiber of your soul to is leaving you too
Asleep - soft bedtime interaction
This is not a drill - reader and daughter play a prank on bucky
7/87 - "do you want some soup?" "oh my god, I love you"
17/18 - "you're so warm" "you're freezing, jesus"
33/34 - "sometimes I just want to cuddle, okay? is that so bad?" "now I know half my wardrobe went"
64/69/88 - “I can’t believe you eat pineapple on pizza…what sort of monster are you?" “I don’t think I could love you anymore than I already do.” “put me down! I can walk!”
Morning pancakes - a cheerful morning turns into one of anger and snakes
Not you - bucky has loved the reader for three years. she has loved him for two. both are dumbasses, and sam is fed up
Gone for too long - reader leaves for a mission that should take around a week, but as the days roll by, bucky gets more and more worried
Don't let me fall - bucky and the reader have been blissfully been together for three months, the two absolutely and utterly in love. but when a mission goes wrong and leaves the reader in a coma, barely clinging to life, bucky fears that he might break and this time forever
Reciprocated - after being bothered by brock rumlow’s incessant pestering of asking the reader out, she agrees but obviously regrets it. she has a ginormous crush on the star quarterback bucky barnes, who unbeknownst to her is absolutely head over heels for the girl and when she needs help getting rid of brock, he turns into her knight in shining armour
A promise kept - the reader is a SHIELD agent that used to be a double agent for hydra where she found and fell in love with bucky. but zemo has found him as well and time is ticking for the reader to save the man she loves
You don't have to be alone - reader has recently broken her leg and the only two people in the tower are pretty much her and bucky. usually, that wouldn’t be a problem but her major crush on the guy could cause some awkward moments and when feelings are revealed things can drastically change
Not pretending - reader’s reunion is just around the corner, which means meeting her ex. they used to be high school sweethearts, but after she found out he was cheating she broke up with him. but now, still being single, the reader feels like she needs to bring someone and when bucky offers his assistance, feelings might be revealed
Deserving - bucky and the reader have been together for half a year now, and he’s never felt happier. but when peter parker gets a crush on the reader, bucky slowly starts to think that maybe he isn’t the right one for her
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Endgame Fix-it Fics
Hello! So, it’s about a week in and I’ve read some fantastic post-endgame fix its, and I thought I’d share them. I’m sure there are more, but these are the ones I loved. I might make another post later on, when I’ve read more :)
Please heed author notes and tags for specific warnings, I will just link the fics with their summary!
born in fire (again and again) by defcontwo
Natasha lands, in dust and sand and light, in the middle of a great landscape of nothingness. She sits up, and touches one hand to the back of her head, and it comes away wet and sticky with blood.
There’s copper in the back of her mouth, and she spits it out into the sand, watching with satisfaction as the blood splatters into the otherwise pristine surface.
“Huh,” Natasha says. “So this is death.”
when we came home by augustbird ( @augustbird )
Fighting is hard. Rebuilding is harder. Post-Endgame AU.
like heaven stood up in you by napricot
“You said you were gonna miss him,” says Bruce slowly. “He was supposed to be back in five seconds, but you hugged him and said ‘I’m gonna miss you.’”
Bucky’s face is serene again now, and gives nothing away. “I know Steve,” he repeats. “You think you can hand him a time machine and some rocks of unspeakable power and he’s just gonna go put ‘em right back where they belong?”
Steve does put the Infinity Stones right back where they belong. He just does a couple other things too. Or: three timelines and a Reverse Time Heist.
picture it soft by midnightroom
When Steve lurches awake, his heart is pounding in his chest. His shirt, soaked in sweat, clings damply to his skin. One fist is clutching the sheets of the bed, and the other is clenched so hard he can feel his fingernails making little half-moons in his palm.
Thanos—
The Stones. Dust drifting through the air, ash so thick you could choke on it. Five endless, aching years of white noise. His team. The lunacy of time travel, the mind-bending, fuse-blowing reality of hand-to-hand combat with himself. The bruise blooming across his cheek to serve as proof. A soft jazz song playing on a record, a crackling hearth, red lipstick. Death, death, death—
Beside him, Bucky shifts in his sleep, turns over so he's facing Steve. His eyes are closed and his mouth is parted, and Steve can see the dark shadow of his hair spread across the pillow like an ink-stain.
(or, Steve and Bucky in the aftermath of Endgame, picking memories apart.)
Ever Mine, Ever Ours by hitlikehammers
Steve goes back to return the Stones, for the sake of the universe.
The extra Pym Particles he palms when Bruce isn't looking, though? Those are for the heart he has now and the heart he took into the ice; those are for the loves he's known and held and lost and found, those—
Those are for the sake of his soul.
Avengers: Endgame Fix-It.
Lichtenberg Figures by rustywrites
Spoilers for Avengers: Endgame
The scars take some getting used to.
(An ending re-work where everybody lives)
When People See Us by Brokenpitchpipe
Rumlow knocks his shoulder good-naturedly. “Hail HYDRA.”
“Thanks,” Steve says automatically, “you too.”
Hearing “Bucky’s still alive” in his own voice might have been a little unexpected, sure. But Steve’s definitely not prepared for the entirety of STRIKE to suddenly and inexplicably think he’s a secret Nazi. (He’s not prepared to learn there are secret Nazis either, for the record.)
the epitaph of an old record player by celestialfics ( @liquidsaints )
Peggy, intelligent and adaptable as ever, takes the entirety of his story and mulls over it in her head for a time, sitting across from Steve and studying his face. Her eyes are set, eyebrows furrowed, chin sitting in her hands.
After a long while, she speaks.
“Go home, Steve,” she says, voice sure; she’s determined as she’s always been.
found a place to rest my head (never let me go) by bulletsandbutterflies
ENDGAME SPOILERS.
He tries not to dwell on the unfairness of it. How they had only just been reunited before he was taken away from Steve again. Dwelling makes it harder to move on.
But it’s hard to forget him when he comes to Steve in his dreams. Sometimes, they’re sixteen again, drinking glass after glass of cheap beer to forget the harsh reality that they were struggling to meet ends meet. Other times, they’re in the war, huddled together in the trenches to keep themselves warm from the unforgiving chills of winter.
And there are nights where Steve feels hands on his skin, warm and metal, soft lips against his own.
In which, Endgame decided to ignore Stucky completely so I've come here to fix it.
Part 3 of been waiting a hundred years (and I'd wait a million more)
I Drew a Line for You by Brokenpitchpipe
"What are you doing here, Steve?" Peggy asks.
"I'm," Steve says. "Living."
Peggy smiles. But it's a smile he recognizes, a smile that means she's guessed at the truth and she's guessed right. "No," she says, "you're not."
kingdoms have fallen, angels are calling (none of that could ever make me leave) by bornes
It’s been a long day. It’s been a long five years.
stay by birdjay
The platform buzzes, and suddenly goes quiet. The cycle has finished. Bucky doesn’t bother to look. There’s no way Steve’s coming back when he has the chance to stay. He moves to walk away, to move on with his life, somehow.
“Buck -- ?”
Bucky whirls around, hair flying.
Who I really am (not who I’m supposed to be) by JayPendragon
[SPOILER WARNING for Endgame]
“Don’t tell me it’s not what you want, buddy. I remember you talking about her. You still got her picture in your pocket. You saved the world, you’re supposed to get the girl.”
Yeah, that’s how it goes, isn’t it? Steve thinks but doesn’t say. Once upon a time, before he saw the changes he only ever dreamed of in the thirties come to life in all the colors of the rainbow, before learning that Bucky survived… Back then, he would have agreed.
The Rest of Our Lives by cleo4u2
SPOILERS STOP READING CHRIST
Fix if fic, picking up when Steve hops into the time machine at the end of the movie and telling what Steve really did for the rest of his life. Hint, it's not a she.
There's Only Now, There's Only Here by stevergrsno ( @stevergrsno )
“Steve,” Peggy says when she reaches him with quick, steady steps, her- husband and friend? friends? partners? following behind at a more sedate pace.
“Uh,” Steve says, and “Hi?” and “Would you mind telling me what the date is?”
1951. Steve aimed for home and ended up in fucking 1951.
Jesus christ.
---
In which Steve not showing up on the time pad wasn't exactly on purpose and we ignore 95% of that ending.
kiss me twice by espinosas
ENDGAME SPOILERS!!!
Hey. Still Endgame spoilers.
AU where Steve comes back for Bucky.
You'll see him soon. by JDHD
"Go," Bucky said to Sam, because the thought of having to face the man in front of him - the man he no longer knew - was so much more than Bucky could handle. He was like tinfoil, and he was being crushed gently in a fist, and he just wanted to come out without any rips.
He met Sam's eye, and the other man shook his head for a moment. "No. He looked for you for years, Barnes. Maybe he can explain."
----
BIG OL' ENDGAME SPOILERS.
End of Endgame fix it because we deserve better.
Kiss me once, then kiss me twice by obsessivereader ( @yetanotherobsessivereader )
Staring at the empty platform where Steve had stood just a moment ago, Bucky experiences one of the longest five seconds of his life. Steve’s not coming back, he thinks, over and over, Steve’s not coming back.
“…two, one.”
A weird distortion shimmers in the air as Steve materializes on the platform. Bucky lets out his breath in a quiet rush. He was so sure. He said his goodbyes and convinced himself that he’d get by just fine, that he was happy that Steve could finally have the life he’d always wanted with Peggy. He knew enough about the machine to know that Steve had a chance to go back to the 40s and pick up the life that was lost to him when he crashed the Valkyrie. And yet, here’s Steve back again, looking tired, dusty, disheveled. Bucky can’t tell what Steve’s thinking as their eyes meet. He’s never seen Steve’s eyes look so blue.
Part 2 of Fix-its that my heart needed
i say your name by rohkeutta ( @rohkeutta )
Bucky’s sitting on the back porch steps, curled up against the chill, when the door opens and closes behind him. Sam, perhaps, awoken by Bucky’s nightmares that lurk in the corners of the rooms: shadows that no longer stand up, ghosts who have laid their rifles down.
Bucky doesn't turn. If it's Sam, he can stay. If it's someone else, they can keep the ghosts.
whatever a sun will always sing is you by onibi ( @canobic )
Steve comes back.
It's Been a Long, Long Time (Coming) by bangyababy ( @bangyababy )
He says it'll take five seconds.
Bucky hopes that he's made the right decision.
He counts.
Five.
lighting up in the shadows by buckyjerkbarnes ( @fypoedameron )
"Don't you know by now there's nothing in the world that could make me walk away from you?"
[Or: a fix-it for Endgame because it would seem I have to do everything around here.]
Another Life by Palebluedot ( @brightbluedot )
"Hey, you," he says as he sits.
~~~
Or, it's been a long, long time, indeed.
(ENDGAME SPOILERS)
#spoilers#endgame spoilers#post endgame#endgame fix it#stucky#stevebucky#stucky fic rec#steve rogers#bucky barnes#post endgame pack#*pack
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Good books
Almost a year later, I finally got Ten Count volume 6. I had to give myself a pep talk that it doesn’t matter if the bitch is part of the volume, just forget about her horrendous self.
In the end, my love for Kurose and Shirotani won and I bought it.
I am just so happy to have it in my hands!!! I love this manga so much! I can’t put into words how much I adore this series.
I also got Ameiro Paradox/ Candy Colour Paradox because I love that too. It’s funny as hell and is a wonderful read.
Did I mention how excited I am for Ten Count anime and Given movie? I can’t tell how thrilled I am that Given is getting a movie. I don’t know how many times I cried seeing Given anime, and the lyrics of the title song— just drive a knife through my heart why don’t you.
Fair warning, I am going to vent now. These are just some things which I don’t like in the slightest in stories and fandoms. If someone does, fine. Just remember, everyone doesn’t.
Let’s start with Ten Count. I saw some comments on a manga site that literally said the bitch ( I am not going to dignify her with a name. The slut doesn’t deserve it ) looked nice standing next to Kurose.
–She is cute even if she is evil.
–Yeah, I get what you mean. They look nice together.
I was shocked. I was so shocked. I was at a loss for words. Just because she is a girl some people are ready to forgive her for what she did and say ridiculous things like these. She ruined Shirotani in every way possible. How can someone even say that? I can’t put into words how disgusted I felt when I read that.
Do people even realise what OCD is? It’s not something to laugh about. What she and Shirotani’s father did, it wasn’t okay. I am glad Shirotani at least got the courage to talk to his father but that doesn’t erase the father was in the wrong too. Wasn’t he fucking a student?
My main problem is, why can’t people accept that some female characters are horrible? What’s with this crap of not calling bad fem characters bad? And she wasn’t even good looking, she was creepy.
The girlfriend of Halstead in Kyou Koi wo Hajimemasu, she was a monster. She actually said Kyouta tried to force himself on her when he didn’t do shit. She was the one coming onto him like some slag. She destroyed two boys friendship and what, we shouldn’t say she was bad because she is a girl. She was horrible.
I adore Hinohara Meguru’s works, I really do. I love love love Secret XXX and I am definitely going to buy it next April when it’s released. I adore Itsuki and Shouhei so much !!!
I will buy Therapy Game too because I love it. I am hoping Kamisama will be licensed soon. I really want to buy it. Rin is so darn nice, he has to be with Chiharu.
But whatever nonsense that was shown between Yuka and Shizuma—it’s unrealistic.
People don’t even look at people like Yuka after they break up with them. Regardless of the fact they are in same college or work at a same place.
It’s pathetic at best the way Shizuma says he is weak to her voice.
Not to mention she was a fucking stalker and what? They are friends? Even after what she did?
She was sleeping with someone else and they are still friends. She cheated on him, hurt him emotionally, hurt his feelings and he still talks to her.
Wow.
That’s not how the world works for any relationship.
Get out of here.
She was a bitch and I have a very bad feeling she and Shizuma’s other coworkers will create problems for him and Minato in the sequel being serialised now. Minato was so uncomfortable in the first chapter.
I don’t understand why no one said this is not reality. This is stupid.
If you want to defend female characters even if they are horrible and bad, fine.
But then, you shouldn’t write things like these : “This shows reality of gay couples.”
Pick up any tragic yaoi/shonen ai where one half of a couple marries a woman and the other is left alone. The reviews of the story have this line.
Those works are praised and applauded. Why? Is that really the reality of all same sex couples? Or are you just happy that one male got to be with a female.
If some people like reality so much, they should just go and see the news.
This reality factor isn’t present when female characters do horrendous shit (Yuka’s case). I didn’t see people saying, this is bull. Why does he even talk to her? And what the fuck does he mean by he is weak to her voice?
Dude, seriously. She cheated on you and you are weak to her voice????
This nonsense is present everywhere. Movies, books, novels, anime, manga.
Take Vampire knight for example.
The author should have been honest and said somewhere along the line she started shipping Zero and Kaname, but since Yuuki is the main girl she couldn’t put the two boys together. Zero/Kaname is a far better ship than Zeki or whatever Airen thing the author is trying to show now. It’s laughable at best, both Zeki and Airen.
I don’t like Ai, she loved Zero and now she is after his daughter. It’s weird.
Just because Ai is yume’s daughter doesn’t mean she is wonderful. I don’t like her or Ren.
You know what, it’s not even about like. I feel nothing for them. When I saw the new cover, I was like, yeah, it’s very pretty, and it’s very sweet. I am going to save the larger version when it becomes available.
That’s it. I could care less whether they are together or not.
Maybe there is a reason for Ai’s stupidity. She was raised among losers like Ruka and Aidou. Is it any wonder she ended up being weird as hell?
Ruka Souen was a horrible character, she was disgusting and I don’t understand why her husband, Akatsuki always threatened Kaname instead of talking to his oh so great love.
Dude, tell your girl to stop trying to get another woman’s man’s attention. Kaname doesn’t give a fuck about anyone except Yuuki Kuran, his love of life.
Ruka and Aidou were pathetic. The fucker even encouraged Zero to take Yuuki from Kaname, and this was supposed to be Kaname’s friend.
Yeah right. Hell, all of Kaname’s so called friends told Zero and Yuuki to get together, except, Takuma.
Have I mentioned how much I love the guy? He is the only real friend of Kaname. He had guts to say to both Zero and Yuuki what would they do if he said he had some reservations about their relationship. He brushed it off later though but at least he said it.
Except for Yuuki, Takuma and Seiren, Kaname held no feelings for anyone in this whole goddamn manga.
The only reason I am still reading this series is because I want my Yume happy ending.
Canon is shitty many times. Don’t force people to like a story or a movie. Or everything that happens in a story. Sometimes one just doesn’t like some things.
Whatever nonsense that was shown in avengers endgame (Steve–Peggy ). That was disgusting. It made my mother and me so uncomfortable that we didn’t even bother going and seeing the movie again. I saw infinity war twice but endgame – it was a horror fest.
If the movie makers wanted to show Steve with a woman that badly, well, Sharon and Natasha were right there. Why Peggy? It didn’t make sense and came off as creepy and gross. We get it, they became so scared of Stucky’s popularity that they had to show Steve with a woman. We get it.
For all three CA movies, Steve was all Bucky, Bucky, and Bucky. That’s it.
And he didn’t even talk to him in endgame. Right.
Steve/Nat was a good ship, they could have been together but what we got was some gross uncle - aunt - niece shit. Steve kissed Sharon right after Peggy’s funeral, that’s a fact. Where did his love go then?
Then again, this is the same character (Steve Rogers) who married female Tony Stark in one universe but otherwise fights with all male Tony’s.
God, could the writers get any more homophobic? Or maybe Steve saw Natasha Stark as a replacement for Peggy Carter too. I wouldn’t be surprised if that was the case. Brunettes, women.
Yeah, that does make sense.
That’s why I hate when people genderbent one half of a slash couple. It’s inherently homophobic. Stop trying to justify your reasons. Don’t give ridiculous excuses like you wanted diversity and all that crap. You are only making yourself look stupid and dumb.
This rubbish need for diversity never arose with FM couples. So, please don’t.
Where are Female Tony and Male Pepper fics, where are Female Clint and Male Natasha fics? Oh, sorry, they don’t exist. Neither do female Tony and Pepper.
If they do, they aren’t that popular. And I am sure female Clint and Natasha doesn’t exist.
But one can find plenty female Bilbo, female Harry, female Tony fics. All these OC females paired with males. They are OFC. They aren’t real.
Some people just can’t accept them (Thorin/Bilbo, Steve/ Tony) as an MM slash ship so they change their gender.
It’s MM Slash. No matter how many times you write in fics, this is Fem Harry, this is Fem Tony, Harry is a girl. This is not slash in capitals.
Stop.
You are only coming off as desperate, nothing more.
Stop trying to undermine the MM slash ship. It’s a slash ship, it will always be slash.
Is there any female Ron and male Hermione story? Yeah, Granger wouldn’t look like a God now would she if Male Hermione attacked female Ron because Ron didn’t want to date him?
Another example.
Let’s turn Merope Gaunt into a man and have him rape Tom Riddle Sr who is a female. No one would give a fuck if Merope was abused then. Merope raped Tom Riddle Sr and I am still astounded by the fact she was portrayed as a tragic figure while Tom Riddle Sr was shown as arrogant.
Excuse me?
Nobody cared about him in the books. Did he deserve to get raped for months by Merope because he was what? A man? Arrogant? Fuck off.
Since she was abused that gave her the freedom to douse the man with Amortentia for months to make herself happy. What rubbish excuse is that?
He owed her nothing. If she was abused, that doesn’t mean he was obligated to like her or care for her. And after what she did to him, he made a wise decision to run away from her.
Merope Gaunt traumatized Tom Riddle Sr. The man never married, even after escaping from her. His fate was even worse than Merope’s.
I can’t believe that this was completely swept under the rug. No one felt sorry for the man. All sympathies were for Merope.
Many things in HP don’t make sense. Couples, characters, their decisions etc.
Its fine if many people love it but there are many who don’t like it too. Stop trying to tell everyone what they should like or not. If someone doesn’t, respect that.
Genderbending one half of a slash couple is annoying and irritating. It’s homophobic and will remain that. All the dominant male keeps on saying in those dumb fics is how much they want to fuck the female/genderment male or are enamored with her chest and body. It’s revolting to even read that.
And of course they want lots of babies. That’s a must. Hetero sex and babies. That’s the crux of almost all gender bent fics. The dominant male wants to see the OFC with his babies.
Great!
Slash haters don’t hate this, do they? Isn’t this fetishizing female anatomy? Or have you actually deluded yourself into thinking female Bilbo and female Harry exists.
They don’t.
Harry Potter is a boy, so is Bilbo Baggins. Hell, Tony Stark is a man except for in one universe.
Steve can’t fall in love with Tony if he is a male. What did he fell for then? Fem Tony’s body?
Gender bent isn’t even crack, its worse than crack. Either these original character females are docile and nice or are BAMF’s like anything.
And don’t say don’t read if you don’t like it. Why not? Why shouldn’t we make fun of these stories?
These same people have the audacity to whine about slash ships on many platforms. Even in FM stories MM is not shown as something normal. I’ve come across many FM stories which literally made me want to throw something at the screen. Some were blatantly insulting to same sex relationships.
And let’s not forget genderbent FM stories which have this rubbish line: we are okay with fem slash, but not with MM slash.
Okay, fine. Good.
What the hell does that even mean?
Hmm, maybe that’s why genderbent FF couples don’t exist. This change is only meant for MM.
Right. Wonderful.
Yikes !
This ridiculous sentence is written on many fic writers profile and these same people changed one half of a MM slash couple into a female, with this lovely sentence at the beginning of their stories: This is not slash. It’s not SLASH. We can’t stress enough, it’s not slash!
How many times do these people have to tell themselves that it’s not slash?
It’s MM slash and will always be that.
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