#i just sorta feel . . . blah right now

[greenroze2]

your rendering is so good how do you do it

Thanks, I love your rendering too!! Gonna try and make a tutorial ^^

To start off, I'm on Clip Studio Paint and these are the brushes I use! First two for rendering characters (round brushes) and the other two for mostly backgrounds (square brushes)

I used to do lineart, but it takes too long >:( now I just make a sketch and sorta clean it up!

Next I fill it in with a gray color. For simpler pieces I just put in the flat colors, but for more paint-y pieces I do grayscale -> color! I'll be doing that here :)

Also, I make 3 clipped layers on top of the gray - two are multiply, and the top one is screen. On the first multiply, I do a soft gradient using an airbrush

On the next multiply layer, I fill everything in with either a cool-ish or warm-ish gray, depending on the mood ^^

I also determine a light source, and use the lasso tool on the screen layer to block out where (I think) the light hits! Tbh I just do wherever feels right lmao, but I recommend having a reference! I like doing it in triangle patterns

Then adjust the opacity of each layer to whatever feels right, and merge everything (I don't merge the sketch/lineart yet, I do it before adding colors in!)

Now... rendering. Some tips I have are color pick (greys) off of the canvas and use them to paint! Clean up the sketch more, erase edges, but I save details (like Galaxia's red gem, his eyes, etc.) for the end, or during coloring.

After I'm sorta happy with it, I merge the sketch layer, then duplicate it, and add a gradient map! I did this sunset-y one but changed the hue to yellow-ish, then lowered the layer's opacity ^^

Play around with the hue-saturation-luminosity setting!

Now go crazy with blending modes! Multiply, overlay, color, glow/color dodge, etc. Feel free to layer them up on top of each other too, and this is to add the character/piece's actual colors in. For example, I used a white-blueish overlay layer for his mask and glove, blue for his cape, blah blah

Now I clean the sketch up/refine it more. Also, to "harmonize" the color palette, you can add a colored gradient on top. Then set it to multiply, and add overlay/glow dodge layers with any colors you see fit! I like using teal and light/warm orange! Here is an example of a colored gradient:

Another tip is to add saturated colors on the edges of both lighting and darker shadows, before blending it:

Also I usually add in a light blue/grey in shadowy areas, and lower the opacity for reflective light:

Also! You can lasso + use an airbush with a light blue to block out parts of the background (his cape here, for example). It helps with more depth!

Finally, I like adding sparkles on low opacity :3 And gaussian blur to certain areas! I'm using radial blur on this piece though ^^

For the background, I like doing blocky shapes!! I use my square brush on 90% ish opacity, to color pick different hues from the piece. For lighting I use a glow dodge layer, here's a mini timelapse as well as the finished art!

At the very end, play around with the hue/saturation and contrast tools to change the colors :)

#iiii hope this helped?? #first time making a tutorial sorry!! #art tutorial #kirby meta knight #meta knight fanart #meta knight #nintendo kirby #kirby nintendo #kirby fanart #kirby series

[beep-function]

Afterglow

“You know I won’t stop till you give in to me.”

It’s a late summer afternoon and it’s laundry night. Life has been hectic and to have some control in it you decided to at least have some laundry done. Work has been stressful, moving to a new place too..but along with it all is Jeongguk.

He’s technically your roommate, as he decided to rent out a room in his home and you’ve been living with him for a couple of months now. Unknowingly, you’d find that Jeongguk was looking for someone to spend his plentiful time with and to entertain him.

“I’m too tired Jeongguk, not this time.” “Just hear me out-“

You let him continuously rant of his plans for something,

you’re used to his rambling and storytelling that honestly goes on way longer than it should. The feeling of tiredness has been weighting on you since 4 hours ago so you’re really just not in the mood to be socializing or anything right now.

“-said that I spend too much time alone and that I’m not getting any younger and that I should at least be seeing someone but-“

You tuned back into his rambling, his eyes and body animating his words but you stopped his rant.

“Why don’t you date someone? You definitely have the time.”

Jeongguk’s eyebrows furrowed a bit, nose scrunched as if he heard something absolutely absurd.

“Well, he already knows I only like-“

He paused, eyes fluttering as he processed his words and just to widen as he catches your gaze. Waiting for his response with an eyebrow raised for him to go on, his arms drop down his sides and face flushed.

“Forget what I was just about to say, it was not important so PLEASE do not ask me ha ha ha….”

He pushes his way forward and continued your load of laundry, adding towels to the washer. You watched him but remembered from earlier.

“By the way, what were you asking from me? You didn’t say it.”

Starting the machine he turns slowly, his back to the machine and pushes himself to sit onto of the machine. Conflicted he breathes and continues.

“So. It’s kinda sorta a favor I need from you…”

You signal with a wave of your hand for him to let it out. He sighs with tense shoulders and nervously picks at his skin.

“Okay so, jin hyung was planning his anniversary party and he’s inviting our other hyungs to come and I know they’re going to be bombarding me with questions on my life and what I’ve been up to and blah blah blah and I just….I want you to come with me as if you’re dating me.”

You were turned away from him as you’re folding your clothes but with his proposal you turned to look at him. He flinches while you turned as if he wasn’t ready to face you.

“B-but please!! I know you said that, um you’re not dating right now because you’re too busy with life and all but this is really really really important to me!! And you’re like the only person I could have asked this and made it look natural! It would just be one night and honestly it would be good for us!! You know like a bonding with us, keeps us strong together and our home life healthier!!! Please!!”

He jumps off the machine and crowds closer to you, stopping you from continuing the laundry.

“I-I’ll cook for you…clean your room! U-Uh share my skincare? Honestly we already do that but still! Just this once!”

He huffs with his arms out, stressing with need of this favor. You hold a hand out on his chest, keeping some distance from him as he had gotten extremely close from his feud.

“Mmm….maybe”

He brightens a bit and his arms raise up.

“But-“

He dims.

You push him with your fingers to a seat, he’s staring up at you, face rosy and shyly stares.

“I won’t go easy on you Jeongguk. Don’t start something you can’t handle..”

He gulps in his seat and fiddles with his jacket sleeves a bit.

“S-so is that a yes?”

You look up from where you were removing the dried clothes, piling into your basket.

“ it’s a yes but you’re going to help me finish this laundry.”

Bouncing up off his seat and giving a wobbly smile he joins your side and starts folding your laundry with you.

#jungkook x reader #bts scenarios #idk what this one it I thought it was cute to do silly jk

[anadiasmount]

HEYY fellow Latina here (Mexico) can you do something with like helping jude with his Spanish

HAII! 🤍 i’m from colombia 😋!! and ofc ofc! i did a fic sorta based with the idea of slightly teaching him spanish here!

“jude you have roll your r’s,” you say then show him again with your tongue. “rhss…” he attempted that made you grimace then laugh. “stop making fun of me! i’ll never get this!” he groaned and got up from his seated position headed to the kitchen. “yes you will! just watch how i do it, it’s simple just be kind sassy with it.”

“rrrrr,” he tried again slowly, taking a sip from his water bottle. “they’re you go! okay now slowly say this, ‘la rosa es roja’,” you motioned with your hand for him to say it slowly and to feel the r in his tongue. “la rosuh ez rrrojuha,” he moved his head while saying but getting wrong, making you smack your forehead.

“rosa has one r not a sassy r,” you reminded him hearing a ‘blah blah’ drop from his lips.

“try that again. and then we will say ‘me puedes ayudar a encontrar este restaurante’, okay?”

while your move to spain was a easy and smooth transition for the two of you. jude insisted and found it hard to communicate in spanish, already knowing and learning the basics like “hola. cómo estás? muy bien. gol. buenos dias, tardes, noches.” he just wanted to jump in and already know the language.

jude had not known you had latin/hispanic decent till you told him your full name and background. if he wasn’t in love then, he fell for you more. wanting to know about your traditions, beliefs, culture, food and dance. he would ask you later on to teach you spanish. but the spanish you spoke was slightly different to the one in spain. he didn’t care, he just wanted to communicate with the media, but most importantly one day with your family.

jude did not anticipate for the lessons yet to come. you taking it completely serious and printing papers of the alphabet and numbers, and some sentences to repeat over and over again. your afternoons that are once filled with cuddles and movies, now we’re sitting in the kitchen and going over the material.

you found his accent absolutely adorable, the cheeky grin he would have, how his íntense gaze stared into yours, his index finger guiding him as he pronounced the sentence and going over the words. “let’s make a deal. for every sentence you say right, i’ll give you a kiss. but if you don’t, then we’re going to repeat it in another way. so focus.”

this was way better than duolingo jude thought, paying attention to how you said every sentence and keeping in mind which words you said with power and aggression. out of the five sentences you wrote down for him he got three right. but you couldn’t stand the small pout so you just gave him a kiss to feel better.

over the next few months he could understand you, either asked you to slow down or repeat it, and you would try your best to make him understand. “okay jude, para la cena quieres carne o pollo? también puedo hacer una ensalada?” you said in spanish hearing jude’s footsteps follow you to the kitchen.

jude thought about his answer before slowly responding back to you, “yo quie-e-ro pollo con ensalada. per-r-ro no lechugaaa, mejor espinaca.” you gave him a shocked looked before peppering kisses all over his face.

“LO HICISTE AMOR! ESTOY ORGULLOSA DE TI!”

jude’s heart warmed when you called him “love” and told him you were proud of him. “gracias a ti,” he thanked you before going over and retrieving the chicken and spinich to make dinner.

if you thought his spanish was better then, it was even better now. seated at your parents anniversary, jude’s leg bounced up and down. “relájate, todo saldrá bien,” you reassured him, jude giving you soft eyes and placing a kiss to your temple. “segura? mi español todavía no bueno.”

“eso no importa. ya te aman, y vas aprendiendo.”

when you started dating he couldn’t understand anything you or your parents said. he felt left out and often wondered what exactly you were talking about but now? here he was talking in complete sentences in front of your whole family. your cousins staring at him in a daze, your mother smiling at him, your dad talking to him about football.

“if it wasn’t for you, i wouldn’t be able to do this. this was all i wanted. to communicate with your mom and dad. so thank you so much princesa, te amo de aquí hasta la luna si no mas,” jude whispered along your lips, making you bite your lip as you teared up.

“te amo a ti, mi bello.”

#judey thoughts 5️⃣ #jude bellingham x reader

[mushroomnoodles]

tw bodily fluids

was simons pregnancy more painful than any other ones?? was there a gigantic mess of like blood and "other stuff"?? like.. birth takes soo long to do seriously like 4-8 HOURS on average or are we just gonna like not include this for the sake of not being nauseous ( + old mans remaining sanity )

tw/cw for sfw and non kink mpreg, as well as labor, water breaking.. and discussion of birth details + injury while trying to keep it vague.

ill go into it once- yeah, it's pretty safe to say simon had a rough time with the labor. i've stated this before, but he was experiencing labor pains for a few days before he went into active labor- see, he didn't think much of it because every now and then his body would try to have morrigan and be unable to because of the seal, so braxton hicks and actual false labor was.. not something he was unfamiliar with.

it wasn't until the contractions got so bad they were nearly debilitating and he felt morri shift inside him to get ready to be born that he went, oh no, oh no no no, he's having the baby.

more under the cut, there's art down there too but like heed the tags. i'm still trying to keep the discussion.. not super heavy.

we all know what happened next, with marceline bringing him into the woods and not being able to make it. because like, right after she set him down, his water broke.

blah blah, they run into finn, explain simon is like, pregnant and about to give birth, set up a location, and then simon (and marcy) are faced with another problem.

it's pretty obvious to everyone that simon's bump was huge. morri is huge. the actual place they'd be born from.. not so much. but that doesn't dissuade morri, who has been trying to get that gd seal off them for months, and is not going to waste another second hiding in their old man. things are going super fast.

and things do not look great down there. marcy is totally winging this delivering a baby thing. simon kept going from silence- just trying to ride through the contractions, to screaming like a dying animal. marceline was terrified the whole time, especially when simon said he felt like he was gonna rip open.

(pretend the fallen tree is behind simon.)

so yeah, it was pretty messy. simon did not make giving birth to a twelve pound baby out unscathed, he definitely tore. when morri was out marceline gave him what little medical attention she could, which honestly wasn't a lot- pb had to do some quick fixing when she showed up, and i don't think he would've made it if not for the cosmic energy radiating through him from carrying morrigan.

it was a good while before simon recuperated enough to be moved, and it sorta spooked everyone when he just.. got up like he didn't just finish pushing out a 12 pound baby. those pain meds were a godsend, by the way, simon was never happier for them in his entire life.

victory! they got him home and in bed with his brand new baby, and marceline stuck by for a few weeks to help take care of morri while simon healed. simon was zonked out but very happy to have a baby in his arms, his baby.

also bonus: simon wakes up the next morning

he feels like five trains ran through his entire lower half. homedawg lived on those pain relievers from that point on

#i have a mproblem #a #cw mpreg #tw mpreg #mpreg #simon petrikov mpreg #golbaby #tw labor #cw labor #cw bodily fluids #plainvanilla

[akiraiscute]

Spencer Reid X Overthinker!Fem!Reader

Tw : Angst, stalking, Spencer being a dumbass in this, talks of murder !!

S1 EP18. Spoilers ahead for this !!

God, the way you sorta blew up spencer’s phone with questions about gideon and him.. you were a overthinker honestly, just like reid and maybe thats why you guys were sorta aliked besides from him being a actual genius and you just now join it with him while being a nerd but.. not much of a nerd like he is, which made you admire him from afar. Everyone noticed it at least only hotch, gideon, Derek, elle and JJ noticed it and each time they mentioned it in front of them while he was completely being oblivious, it sorta made you wanna hit them but yet you didn’t as he hasn’t even question more then three times after each mention. You just quickly started to talk about something he really like and then he got distracted which was always so adorable to you.. he was kind, smart as fuck, sweet, good lucking and pretty! Maybe he was everything you wanted in a guy honestly.. even if he’s your co-worker and that’s completely unprofessional to think about dating him, you couldn’t even stop yourself from trying to think about him in the most randomest times! And yet, every time you thought about asking him to go on a date with you, you always kept coming up with reasons why not too and the main reason was " i don’t wanna affect my friendship with him, he’s my best friend and if i ask. That would totally ruin everything and it’ll be awkward when im around him! " which always made you stop thinking about it.

Yet each time he’s brought up, derek or even elle would tease you about it! It made you even more embarrassed as they did already know why you couldn’t tell him, they already profiled you when you joined the team really.. what did you expect though from them? As he was brought up the moment the team had a case which Gideon and Reid were already there in LA, Derek calling you lovergirl which made you slap his arm hard and kept listening to JJ’s explaining before hotch saying.

“Wheels up in 30.”

You got up as you went to your desk quickly to get your go-bag, trying to escape Derek’s endless teasing about your tiny work crush on your own best friend. You didn’t even get why you had to pick your best friend to have a crush on but you couldn’t really blame yourself since he made you feel safe, comfortable and even kind to you. JJ explained on the airplane, the case as it may of just happened, two people shot. One person in the head and the other three times in the chest, got shot by a 22. (Idk, im jst going off of the episode as of right now😭) main reason why the team was taking up this case was as because gideon and reid were in LA, and doing a fbi blah blah.. they looked at the scene and the main officer told them about how there was many more cases jst like this. Which is a good enough reason to go to LA but god did you hate the heat of LA sometimes… and how popular the last kill was and the person who could killed which also meant, a lot of eyes on you and even people taking pictures of the team and that kinda.. made you overthink a lot in the plane and you tried to distract yourself as you usually do by rereading each one of the murderers until you ended up in LA with the team. Which was sooner than you thought but you were glad, no more silence which always sorta triggered your overthinking as when something happened and when you can’t get over it, yourself and a place is too quiet you can start overthinking every single little bit of the something until it makes you breakdown. (Im sorry if you can’t understand, im jst putting on what happens to me when i overthink😭) and being around profilers, sometimes meant too much quietness and thats why you usually talked to reid or derek or jj or elle. Just someone who can distract you from the silent. And peope who can know when you’re a ticking time bomb when something that you couldn’t control but it hurts you deeply happens which.. you just had a bad feeling about this case and the last case made you uncomfortable to even think about as well so. You were really a ticking time bomb sometimes and that sometimes happened at work which always lead you to calm down in the bathrooms.

As the team explained to Detective kim the profile of the unsub, there was this short man knocking on kim’s door and said.

“Excuse me, hi.. is there a Detective kim here?”

“Right here.”

“Uh, you’re heading the investigation of the Natalie Ryan murder?”

“Yes..?”

“Uhm.. my- i have a client, she uh.. is there any place we can be private?”

“We all are working this murder.”

“Well, uh. She received a note, my client did.. and she freaked out. I told her not to worry bout it.”

“Where’s the note.?”

Derek asked as the short guy brought out the note, you looked him up and down. It was sorta clear that he was kinda uncomfortable but still wanted to show the note that this client girl freaked out over, as your curiosity got the sorta better of you. You wanted to see it also, but held still fo let morgan read it at least, you leaned against the wall on a tiny and short bookshelf to keep yourself there.

“Where’s your client?” (Hotch)

“She’s waiting in the other room.”

“Reid, (N/N) [your nickname !]. Go with derek..” (Still hotch)

You and reid follow derek immediately as you held a straight face while walking besides spencer. You were glad that he was already at least, at least he seemed alright? Anyways, you three walk to the other room and see a blonde girl. Wearing makeup and a blue shirt before you and derek could say anything..

“Lila?”

Spencer said as you turned to him, shocked even before shaking your head and focusing on the girl named Lila it seemed.. Lila turn her head to see Spencer and she looked shocked.

“Hi..”

Lila smiled at spencer, you already knew that smile.. you bit the inside of your lip, now overthinking who she was really. Spencer didn’t really mention her in his texts, not at all… god fuck you can’t overthink everything, if he likes her then you’ll have to deal with it as you want him to be happy.. with anyone.. (mainly you) Lila only gave you a glance as you seemed a bit shocked, her glance seemed a bit off to you really and that just made your feeling about everything even worse, god you can’t stand yourself sometimes.. Derek was looking at you already, probably knowing what’s going through your head by now as he sighed.

“How well did you know Natalie Ryan?”

“We spoke when we saw each other in public but we were never friends.”

“How about wally menill?”

“What?”

“Wally Menill, he’s a producer who was killed a couple of months ago?”

“The paper said it- it was a robbery.”

“Well, the paper was wrong.”

“Did you know him?” (Elle!!)

“We- we met a few times about a project but.. i didn’t get the part, they went a different way.”

“Which way?”

“He casted another Actre—.. Oh my god.”

“What is it?”

“He casted Natalie Ryan.” (The short man😭)

“You owe me.” (Derek)

Lila sighs loudly as Derek says that, she put her head in her hands and leaned a bit down which worried you of course, if she was sick you would off put a trash can next to her at least as you stood next to elle, crossing your arms a but lower than Hotch’s.

“I guess, that’s one way to ice out the competition..”

“Don’t look at me. I brought her into the police station.”

“Have you ever sense someone is watching you, following you?” (Gideon)

(IM GETTING REAL TIRED OF THEM TALKUNG OMG!) As to that, Lila explained how she was as reid looked concerned for her, explained some. She looked concerned as she looked up at hotch asking if the people are getting murdered just because of her, which was probably true. Afterall, this stalker or some sorta is killing each rival she may have.. but of course hotch didn’t want lila to worry at all so he tried to say might but ending up saying it so possibly wrong.. she got up immediately, being upset as she walked the other way and you followed after her. Maybe she was being uncomfortable with all the men in the room so she just needs another woman to help her at least? You followed her and catched up, a bit worried ss if you’re acting like she was a friend of yours which in reality.. any friend of spencer reid is a friend of yours honestly, he almost always tries to introduce you to meet new people at the bar or at least besides on a case.

“Maam!”

“What!?..”

“Im sorry, are you alright.. do you need a bag or maybe something that could make you feel better?”

“I- no..! I don’t want that from somebody i don’t know!..”

“Maam, im just trying to help..”

“I don’t care..!”

She ran off again, you sighed a bit as reid came into view. Looking more worried than ever, as you were about to say something he asked

“Do you think she’s okay?”

You can understand the worrying but didn’t she just yell at you?! Was he blind or something?! You already knew that answer to be a no, you looked at him with shock before shaking your head and making it turn into a poker face as you looked that what he was looking at. Which was the god damn door..

“I don’t know Spence.”

You didn’t wanna overthink it but, you did. You really did, you bit the insane of your lip again. Biting down on it, like hard enough to cause it to bleed as you walked back to the others, derek already taking notice of you and so did elle. Elle gave you a pity look as you rolled your eyes, putting your defensive mask on as you didn’t even wanna be profiled as you try to work on the profile.

ANDDD, yes im putting these into parts, i can not deal with this as of right now- my day is just horrible honestly but ima not vent on here but anyways!! Have another spencer reid fanfic bc im bored asf and writing too many anime ones as im still working on the case bro😭😭 anyways. Hope yall have a good day!! Bye!!

— Akira.. Akira logging off!

My masterlink <3

Masterlink!

#akiraiscute #akira’s short stories #x reader #<3 #criminal minds #criminal minds x reader #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid #s1 #ep 18 #spoilers #angst #dumbass spencer #light angst

[iloveyouemanuelmarco]

Ok so I might sound kinda crazy but hear me out, do you ever feel like you're cis when you're transgender based on reality? I know that doesn't sound like it makes sense so lemme explain my situation to you a little bit but please be aware it's probably not gonna make much sense to anyone other than me and hopefully a few other people I guess? But whatever, anyways: So basically to start us off at the beginning, I've known I was somewhere on the transgender/genderqueer spectrum for like I think a few years now or atleast 1-2 if that's important and at first it was like I was fine with not being completly a girl, but at the same time it didn't feel like a big deal because I was still mostly a girl and I had the idea that no one would get mad at me if I just lived like a cis person when I actually felt like a demigirl or something related to that because I still liked being feminine while at the same time I wasn't completly female like my birth gender. Then, awhile later I realized I felt more boyish when it came to my gender identity, but at the same time felt more girly and felt my sexuality changing it's personal definition so I was like..."Yo wtf why am I getting so upset all of a sudden being feminine? I atleast thought it wouldn't be that bad" because on certain days I would get dysphoric but also be ok on other days. Keep in mind, this was around the time still where younger me was being influenced by the transmedicalist/truscum debate points that were more popular on the internet to say the least so it was obviously gonna be negative and cause me to push those feelings of mine aside for not wanting to be seen as a "trender" or someone fake or whatever. Ofcourse I would eventually grow out of that and realize with the internet that all trans people are different and that you don't have to pick between trans boy, trans girl and nonbinary" which was slowly turning into a binary at some point by cis people. Blah blah blah, eventually I decided that I was a trans dude(ftm) but also genderfluid which is sorta accurate today but I felt more bigender then when I identified as such than anything now so I don't know uhh. Why'd I bring up all this past gender and sexuality spectrum clutter again??Oh right, because I've been noticing changes with how I present myself atleast sorta recently. To keep it somewhat sane-sounding, for the past 4 months at the very least, while I do recognize that I am technically and realistically a trans boy due to being afab, at the same time for some odd reason, I keep feeling...like a cis-ajacent man for a lack of a better term? Like its not that I wanna be some sort of "pick-me" or whatever, far from it actually but like...I do identify with the label being ftm but at the same time apart of me doesn't because I already am a man despite not being like that at birth???I feel less like a trans guy and more like a feminine cis dude trapped in a mostly female body??I know it doesn't sound accurate to you all but I hope it somewhat can make sense later? Tbh it's better when explained verbally irl than like me attempting to write down a complicated experience of mine coherently. I don't wanna be a cis male either since they hurt so many people so there's that...

#Gender Fuckery #Gender Vent #Gender Dysphoria #Genderqueer #MOGAI #Gender Nonconforming #GNC #GNC Trans #Transgender #Transgender Community #Trans #Trans Community #Trans Boy #Trans Dude #Trans Man #Transgender Boy #Transgender Man #Feminine Man #Queer #Queer Community #Queer Masculinity #LGBTQIAPlus #LGBTQIA+ #LGBTQIA Community #LGBTQIA #LGBTQIAPlus Community #LGBTQIA+ Community #FTM #Genderfluid #BiGender

[22degreehalo]

Man, I know this isn't really anything new to anyone who's in the right audience and is going to be entirely incomprehensible to anyone who isn't. But I really am just enjoying 100 Kanojo ('The 100 Girlfriends Who Really Really Really Really Really Love You') lately, and I really gotta echo that it's a surprisingly great example of positive polyamory!

The last episode of the anime really impressed that on me, that it's not *just* about being poly-positive insofar as it supports the harem. When Hahari talked about still being in love with Hakari's father, I was really expecting some cliche advice about how he'd want her to move on and be happy, blah blah blah. But no: Rentarou tells her there's no reason why she can't love both him AND her ex all the same!!

It's not the sort of thing usually associated with polyamory, but I've seen it brought up in poly circles as an example of toxic monogamy, that current partners are supposed to *despise* their partner's exes, and that people are supposed to never have any relationship with their ex or it comes across as 'unfaithful.' I've even seen widowers saying they relate strongly to the poly community even if they're technically monogamous, because they can only ever love another person *in addition* to their old spouse, and any new lover will just have to be okay with that.

And then it goes even further when Rentarou meets the ghostly spirit of Hahari's old boyfriend (or maybe it was just a dream~?), and once again, Rentarou shows not so much as a lick of jealousy or possessiveness. Rather, he clasps hands with him as a comrade, as someone who made Hahari very happy back in the day, and as someone he still would like to make proud alongside, working together to keep making her happy! (And then the spirit is so satisfied that he has no earthly connections anymore and ascends from ghosthood... which is a bit convenient but which is also funny in context, so. Well!)

But honestly, even aside from all that... I'm reading the manga now, and it's just so. Refreshing. To see a romcom like this where everyone is just so happy and in love all the time...? Harem manga sorta have a reputation for everyone beating up on the protagonist, and of course all the silent angsty pining that lasts unendingly for hundreds of chapters because the 'plot' can never actually be resolved until the story is over. But in this story, everyone really does win! And that doesn't make it less interesting: it's still so crazy and weird and dumb, and just seeing all of these characters bounce off one another and be themselves is entertaining enough without the need for external stresses.

And that all just makes it so... almost wholesome? Everyone is so happy!!! And it isn't boring at all!!!!! Everyone really really really really Really loves each other (the protagonist even more than the girlfriends, if anything), and they gush over romantic stories and get really excited about kissing their boyfriend/girlfriends and love and support their entire family, and it fills me with such warm and fuzzy feelings that I really can't think of anything else to compare it to!

It's just so nice. Characters who really, genuinely love and like each other and work hard for one another and get what they want. And also, truly wacked-out comedy that has made me laugh aloud just reading it.

It's just great. It's so, so nice. :)

#don't know how to express myself here hahahaha #just woke up this morning like. yknow what???? im gonna make the post #so im probably phrasing this all badly but WHATEVER #they just really love each other!!! including the girls!!!!!! #are there things to be said abt how the girl/girl friendships and even maybe romances are more easily respected #because girl/girl relationships aren't seen as a threat to m/f ones? #or the way Papari disappears before he can really continually exist alongside Rentarou and interact with Hahari? #yes #BUT ALSO #HAVE YOU CONSIDERED #it's just sosososososo happy and loving and sometimes it is okay to just enjoy that :) #hyakkano #100kanojo

[anakinskywalker97]

Trash Compactor pt.3

I kid you not I re-wrote this three different times each with a different story. Blah. Hope you all enjoy it and thank you again for all the love.

Summary: Anakin gets angry and his self-control snaps.

Warnings: Sex, loss of virginity, rough-ish, somnophilia? The reader is sorta unconscious at one point - it's consensual though.

Previous parts

Your path to being a Jedi was messy. Still at Padawan at 25 should be embarrassing, but much like Anakin there was something in you that inspired fear in the council. You had come to the temple later in life, Master Rhys Tyren had found you and insisted on training you. That was all good till he passed away, leaving you without proper guidance for a good few years. None of the masters wanted to take you on leaving you alone. 

You had lots of teachers and lots of work to do staying at the temple. Part of you accepted that this would be the path the force had chosen for you. It was against the normal way of doing things, but your skills did not progress so the chances of you being a threat were lessened. 

Anakin had always been nice to you, his eyes were always filled with a sadness you didn't understand. He didn’t like that you were confined to the temple. He’d encouraged you to challenge them a few times but it wasn't what the force wanted. When he became a Jedi Knight, he insisted on taking you on as a Padawan. The council tried to argue but the force was so clear and heavy on the decision you were sure even a youngling could have known what it was deciding. 

You stood still as he braided a chunk of your hair behind your right ear, wrapping it in string. He refused to shave your head and they already felt the partnership was a mistake. 

“If they wanted your hair short they should have completed your training before it grew out again.” He had whispered to you. You were nervous, you could feel the fear radiating off the masters in the room. Whatever their old eyes could see was lost on you. You had an opportunity to be a Jedi, they saw something else. Something forbidden and outside of the traditions they felt kept them safe from the dark side. Obi-Wan on the other hand looked very proud of Anakin, possibly the only purely happy person in the room. 

You wondered then if Obi-Wan hadn’t respected Qui-Gon’s wishes to train Anakin if he would have been left brushed aside as you were?

You woke up and stretched knowing why this memory had come back to you. 

Master - you wrapped yourself more tightly around him. Enjoying these last few moments of calm before the chaos of Coruscant would take over. 

Yes - His mechanical hand ran down your back careful to miss your tangled vines of hair. 

Why did you take me on? - You were surprised that you never thought to ask. This was the only way for him to become a full master, to have a Padawan that passed the trials. If anything your age and capabilities with the force put him on the fast track to becoming the youngest master ever. But he had chosen you at what you now knew was a very difficult part of his life, his marriage had crumbled and the war was taking a heavy toll on him. 

I don’t really look at relationships like that - He gave you a curious look. 

“No, I mean why did you take me on as a Padawan” Your voice was clear. 

“You're my friend. I wasn’t going to leave you trapped there.” He sighed. “I respect the council, but that doesn't mean I think they always make the best decisions. Keeping you from being a Jedi because they are afraid of what you might become is stupid.” 

“Part of me thinks maybe the force just held on to me till I could be with you.” You whispered feeling vulnerable. Part of you knew in your heart this was ture. 

“Well, if that’s the case. Maybe I’ll forgive them.” His tone was light but you could feel something in his chest. Something that was yours. Your mind went back to what today held. You had to show your skills to the council to prove you were progressing. The first time you would be assessed as Anakin’s Padawan. The first time you had been assessed since you were 17. 

You weren't exactly nervous. Anakin was an excellent teacher, but you knew they would be judging him and Obi-Wan even more harshly than they would be yourself. 

“Stop worrying, you don’t have to defeat your opponent. Just have to show off your form.” Anakin interrupted your thoughts. 

“They don’t care about my form though, they care about what you've taught me.” Anakin snorted at your words. 

“Well, alright don’t do anything Sith-like and don’t have a panic attack and I should be safe.” He smiled at you. 

__________________

Your stomach was soured when you realized who you would have to fight. You would have rather gone up against Master Yoda or Windu. Chase Vernok was not the person you wanted to go up against for an assessment. The guy was possibly the most annoying person on the planet. You and him had never gotten on well, he had made it his personal task to make you miserable when no one was watching. You thought about striking him down but something inside you was wiser than that. They wanted a reason to hold you back, take you from Anakin’s teachings. 

The arrogance dripped off of him and you were angry for a moment knowing that this was acceptable, but you struggling with the loss of your master? Better hold her back. You being slightly emotional at times? Better hold her back. 

He was the same age as you and had been a Knight for a long while. You took a breath as all eyes were on you, now was not the time to lose your temper. You needed to be perfect even if it was only out of respect for Anakin and Obi-Wan. 

_______________________

Anakin was trying hard not to be jittery. Having her go up against a former classmate seemed a bit rude. Normally you would go against a Padawan the same age as you, seeing as there were no Padawans your age they should have let you go up against a master. Something more respectful than this twirp. 

He looked over-confident, and even with your good posture, it was something you seemed to be lacking. You looked calm and a touch indifferent. It was an interesting choice, but it did make the kid opposing you look twice as stupid.

You both bowed to each other and a spark of anger burned up inside him. He didn’t like watching you bow to someone like that, he didn’t like the idea of you bowing to anyone. Obi-Wan sat beside him a perfect image of calm as always. Anakin followed his Master's example and centered himself. 

The fight started and he felt it was strange watching you move separately from himself. Normally in battle, you were side by side. In training against each other, but still together. 

You were holding back. This was obvious to him and Obi-Wan, anger surged through him at your slow movements and cautious approach. You disarmed the boy in a very short time. Master Windu’s eyebrows raised and Anakin wished he could get onto the mat to show them what you were actually capable of. 

You turned to move off the mat as you were supposed to when the boy challenged you again in possibly the worst way. Light Saber up he charged at your turned back. Obi-Wan’s hand gripped Anakin’s arm preventing him from standing up and for a moment he knew it would do nothing to contain him he could use the force to throw this kid out into deep space.

Let her show off - Obi-Wan’s clear voice rang in his head. There would be hell to pay, but he would let you have your moment. 

You were ruthless with your form. Eventually, you pulled his saber from his hand and used the force to pin him to the ground. You stood with two sabers holding him to the ground as he struggled. Thankfully you were softer than Anakin was. When you did it you looked graceful, as if you were holding him down effortlessly to prevent him from causing more harm. Only Anakin could feel the anger in your chest. 

“My back was turned.” Your voice was slow and almost soft. There wasn’t a lick of anger or rage present somehow making it more scary to Anakin’s ears. Your eyes moved up to meet the council. They regarded you with the same frosty looks of reservation. 

“The match is over,” Windu said with a nod giving you the permission you wanted to release your opponent. He was red-faced and angry. So much so that Anakin wondered if there was history between the two of you. Obi-Wan released Anakin’s arm once you were safely off the mat. 

The next pair of Padawan’s both ran over to you before moving into the center. They must have been about thirteen, they hugged you tightly. 

“Are you leaving now?” One of them asked in a sad tone. You ran your fingers through the boy’s short hair. 

“No, I get to stay till the end.” You smiled and they both let out a soft cheer. They were called away to start and you sat on the floor cross-legged like the rest of the padawans. However, it didn’t take long for one of the younger kids to weasel their way through to sit on your lap. You watched the boys fight with attentive eyes while more kids came to sit next to you. 

He didn’t think of what you were leaving behind when you came with him and Obi-Wan. Normally missions would come and go, with time in between to be at the temple. Because of the Clone Wars, you hadn’t been back. 

The kids seemed to sacrifice their form for a moment with you. Anakin was starting to understand why the council was not happy with who you were becoming. Anakin thought about telling you through the bond to get the kids to behave, but he couldn't bring himself to. The day ended and you stood behind to tell each padawan that they did a good job. They had a million questions about the war and being famous on the Holonet with Anakin and Obi-Wan. Anakin just observed his previous anger still fresh but hidden under his appreciation for you. 

“She’s clearly progressed.” Windu came to his side, there was an edge to his tone that Anakin didn’t like. As if implying you had cheated. 

“She’s exceptionally gifted,” Obi-Wan answered for him. “We are very proud of the progress she has made.”

“I’m sure you are,” Windu responded. “We think it’s best she spends some time here-” 

“Go she must.” Yoda appeared quickly,  his eyes looking at you talking with the children. Windu made a face but nodded. “Proud you should be.” 

Anakin was as frustrated as he always was after talking with them. Knowing that they wanted to speak with Obi-Wan without him he moved to your side. 

The kids looked at him with the usual sort of adoration. His presence interrupted your Q&A. 

“We should go.” He said almost sad to leave. The kids let out a huff of annoyance before saying their goodbyes. He could see it in their eyes that they were sad to leave you. He watched them struggle to conceal it and he felt sick. 

Chase came over to you his former master watching him closely. He looked like he was going to try and brush off what he had done to you. 

“Sorry about -erm.” He nodded to the mat. Anakin wanted nothing more than to take the boy onto the mat and beat the living shit out of him. 

“That’s alright.” You shrugged. The boy’s eyes looked up to meet his and he took a step back and then decided to turn on his heel and walk away. 

______________________

You didn’t get to spend the night as you had hoped. You said goodbye to everyone and felt sadness grip your heart as they left. Anakin stayed close to your side. Once back on the ship, you could feel the conversation coming. 

There was a war raging inside him and you wondered if it would be best to stay in your own bed. There was a sense of injustice, you and him were held to a very high standard while everyone else got to operate within a different world. 

He pushed you to keep moving past your bedroom and you figured this was unavoidable. Obviously, you were just as annoyed as he was. They don’t want you to stay with Anakin and become more powerful, but they don’t want you at the temple where every young mind seems drawn to you. Your anger was a weapon, but it was your kind heart they feared even more. 

This was something new to think about. Your mind was busy trying to think all these thoughts for the first time. There was a darkness surrounding Coruscant, one you were determined not to let touch you. 

His hands quickly framed your face and your body was pressed against the door. His weight was against you then his mouth found yours. You were caught off guard and felt your thoughts slip away as he held you there against the door. Your whole body was trapped and your face was held in place tilted up to him. He was forceful and while resisting him felt like it’s own kind of fun you were so overwhelmed with him you lacked the power. You liked that he was finally taking from you. His tongue pressed into your mouth and you sucked on it. You could feel his carefully constructed rules start to break away. 

He picked you up and rushed you onto the bed. His hands made quick work of your clothes. He laid you there on the cool sheets, spreading your legs open. He moved away slightly his eyes focused on the mess he had made out of you. He got undressed and moved on top of you. Your heart shuddered when you started to understand what was about to finally happen. 

You could feel the possessive anger radiating off of him as his lips met yours with a savage hunger. Your heart sank, this is want you wanted but you didn’t want him to be angry. Possessive was fine, if anything it was encouraged. Anakin was always so cautious and soft with you, seeing him like this was almost enough to make you forget yourself. But the anger, anger led to regret. If he regretted this after your heart would break. 

We don't have to - you said as your hips rolled up on him as he stretched himself out on top of you.

I think your body has a different opinion - he smirked and you wanted more than anything to give in to this pull. Your love for him was stronger than that. 

Anakin - he froze looking down at you. - I don't want you to do something you will regret later. 

Your eyes looked up at him and you could feel the tears collecting. 

Could never regret you - he said softly. The head of his cock brushed your opening and your hips bucked up without thought. You bit your lip trying to hold it back. - I've tried to think of every reason not to do this. - he didn't need to finish his thought. 

You had relentlessly given him every reason why he should over the past few days. He slid his fingers in you for a moment moaning at the mess. He worked you open and you knew full well it would do nothing in terms of prepping you for what was about to happen. His fingers were big but not in comparison to what was next. 

He ran his fingers along his cock spreading your wetness over himself. The head of his cock pressed against your pussy. He pushed himself a little further and everything stopped. His fingers found your clit but the pain shot through you. The mix of pain and pleasure was new to you as Anakin was a very generous lover. His pleasure of feeling the impossible tightness of your cunt flooded through the bond and you drowned in it.  

His need for more of you was overwhelming and you pushed your hips up to take more of him. He groaned and you weren't actually sure how long you could handle this. Your body stretched to accommodate him, tears in your eyes from the mixed sensations. He found a spot in you that made you cry out. You had all of him, his fingers stopped touching your clit as you were sure you were going to cum. 

He stopped there for a moment trying to find his own composure. When he pulled out slightly and moved back inside you it hit you like a tsunami. You couldn't get a hold on it even if you wanted to, the pleasure paradox you were trapped in went beyond your physical capabilities. You came around him, the sensation had more depth than you were used to. Your pussy choked around him tightly and you felt his orgasm begin crashing into yours. It felt endless and something had officially worn down inside you. Anakin's force presence dominated yours and the bond it created was so strong you felt like it would withstand any distance. 

Sorry - he said panting with his forehead pressed to your shoulder. 

Why? I'm the one that caved first - your face got redder with embarrassment, still unable to open your eyes. When he moved again you let out a deep moan. 

Try again? - you whimpered wanting more of him.

Practice makes perfect - His tone was dark and it made you clench around him. You wanted him to hold you down like he did in training, force you here on the bed till you got it right. This was an unfamiliar side of yourself. 

You were more relaxed meaning he could properly fuck you. You could finally feel the full force of him moving inside your body. He needed you so badly, an emotion you didn't think he felt as deeply as you did for him. He kissed you, bit at the soft skin of your neck, sucking deep bruises into your flesh. You clawed at his back and your fingers knotted in his hair. Even with him pounding into you, you needed him closer. Desperation was flashing through your bones as you craved him. How could two people get any closer than this?  

His fingers found your clit once again and you lost the ability to breathe for a moment. You felt his force presence pull your hips up as he drove himself further inside you. 

You cried out loudly. The feeling was so strong it almost hurt as it tore through you. You felt him empty himself inside you, your orgasms feeding off of each other till you fully passed out. 

Your body had reached its limit. You felt his heavy body rest on yours for a moment before he rolled off of you to avoid crushing you. 

His hand held yours, an unnecessary gesture as you could feel his mind. Feel his blood moving through his arteries. You guys were so tightly bound together that you could have searched through his memories if you had the energy. 

You fell asleep and woke up to him picking you up. He carried you against his chest his hands grabbing your ass. It made sense once you felt the water surround you. It was hot, far too hot for his liking. But to you it was perfect. He held you there your face safely above the water line resting on his shoulder. The water rose to your upper back as you settled in. 

His hands traveled between you to try and clean up some of the mess he made but you groaned against him. Your wetness was shameful. 

You knew water didn't make things more wet, but his cock nestled inside you returning to your core with little effort. 

His fingers rubbed your clit and it didn't take much for you to start milking his cock again. You could tell he wasn't satisfied before your orgasm ended. Your mind was hazy and you faded out knowing he’d keep pushing you. 

Your body responded to his touches without your consciousness. He took another orgasm from you, holding your hips down firmly as to fully enjoy the way your walls got him off. 

—-----

Anakin could tell you weren't conscious. You had fallen somewhere beyond. Didn't stop him from needing you. He should feel disgusted with himself, but all he felt was the need to have you just one more time. 

“One more for me.” He whispered knowing full well you couldn’t hear his encouragement. Your cunt was unlike anything in existence. It was impossibly hot and tight with a magnet pull that made him wonder if he would be stuck here forever. You had submitted to him so entirely that he wondered if it was your trust and faith in him that had him pulled so far under.  Your body came around him again and the the white heat engulfed him one last time as he spilled what was left of himself inside you. 

His body relaxed in the water and he tipped his head back. His mind was clear for possibly the only time in his life. He felt himself move away from the bath. 

He ended up somewhere other, detached from his body. It was both dark and bright at the same time. A purple haze had washed over what felt like open space. Stars created a comforting glow on the platform he was on. He heard your voice and he turned to see you sitting cross-legged next to Qui-Gon. 

His hand was held out to you, shock hit all three of them when your fingers collided with his. A thought of panic washed over Anakin as he realized where they might be. Had he killed the both of you? His temper was too much he shouldnt have taken it out on you like that.

“Told you he would make it.” You said confidently and Qui-Gon laughed. 

“Yes, I am not at all surprised to find either of you made it here. I am surprised you decided to finally get serious about meditation.” Qui-Gon looked at him brightly but Anakin was still too stunted to move closer. Your face flushed and you looked down at your hands for a moment. Thankfully in this form they were fully clothed. 

“Only Obi-Wan has meditated enough for me to get through to him. But even he hasn’t reached a level where he can visit me.” 

“Where are we?” Anakin asked finally moving closer, sitting next to you. 

“It’s complicated,” Qui-Gon said. “Here is what you need to know.” 

If the information had come from anyone other than him Anakin would have denied it. Palpatine was like a father to him. Qui-Gon had harsh thoughts about the council, and what the living force would demand from Anakin in the end. 

The end of the Sith, but also the end of the Jedi. 

“I won’t let him.” Your voice was calm but defiant at the same time. 

“You will.” Qui-Gon looked at you with soft eyes. “He is the chosen one and you were chosen to be at his side, you will rebuild the order in time.” 

Anakin thought about it for a moment. 

“Does Obi-Wan know?” 

“About the two of you?” Qui-Gon answered. 

“No about all this.” Anakin thought but then immediately wanted to know the answer to both questions. 

“Not all of it but most of it, I wanted to speak with you first.” Anakin took a breath at these words. If Obi-Wan sided with him, he would have his family, without a doubt he knew they could complete this task. 

“Does Obi-Wan know about us?” You asked softly, blush creeping up on your face. Qui-Gon laughed and Aankin could tell he was considering his words carefully. 

“Yes.” 

“Kriff” You whispered. 

“It’s not hard to see if you have clear sight.” He winked with a sad smile and Anakin knew it was almost time to say goodbye. He didn’t want to leave Qui-Gon, his child-self inside him was screaming. “Just stay close to each other and you’ll be alright.” 

“Wait, what about Master Rhys?” Your eyes looked into the void as if he might jump out suddenly. 

“Ah, it took some time for me to find my way here. Unfortunately, I was not in time to assist him.” You nodded sadly. “I’m sorry that my time had come so early, I had intended to be there for you both till the end.” 

He stood and the two of you followed. Anakin pulled him into a hug. 

“Thank you.” He whispered wishing he had more time to explain himself. More time to be with him. He gave you a hug and then everything faded out. 

He needed to speak with Obi-Wan but his body was beyond tired. It took a great deal of effort to get the both of you washed off in the shower. By the time you were both back in bed, the whole galaxy could have been burning and he wouldn't have it in him to move. 

While he slept he was still more aware of you than normal. The effort it took to ascend to where ever that was knocked him clean out and he was a great deal more powerful than you. 

He kept his arms around you until you finally picked your head up. 

____________

“Did that actually happen?” You whispered your eyes finding his. The light of a nearby sun was pouring in through the window. 

“Yeah. Are you alright?” He asked softly, there was an edge in his eyes that gave away how deep his concern for you went. 

“I’m more than alright.” You stretched. You were sore, your hips were covered in bruises and you shuddered to think about what your neck looked like. Your relaxed aura put him at ease. 

“Sorry about losing my temper like that.” You had to strain your memory to think back to yesterday. Ah yes, Chase. 

“You can lose your temper like that any time.” You winked at him. He kissed you and for a moment you thought he’d take you again but he stopped and pulled you back into his arms. 

“We need to talk to Obi-Wan.” He said in a sad tone. The whole world was about to unravel. 

“Anakin.” You said his name realising you found it difficult to call him master now. “I’ll follow you through the dark side and back to the light.” His eyes were observing you carefully. “But, please promise me the kids won’t get hurt.” 

He smiled at you and you relaxed. 

“Going to be a lot easier to rebuild the Order with actual Jedi. I don’t think we will have to kill anyone other than Palpatine to restore balance.” He lied. You could tell it was a lie, one with good intentions and hope. It was good enough.

#anakin skywalker #star wars #anakin skywalker fic #anakin skywalker imagine #anakin x reader #anakin skywalker x reader #anakin skywalker smut

[goldenfreddys]

september ‘04, cont.— american healthcare

Dr. David Miller’s office was situated in a dingy, hole-in-the-wall clinic downtown that practically oozed of quackery. The clinic was obviously created for the sole purpose of exploiting impoverished, desperate people who couldn't afford actual healthcare, Jeremy thought. Unfortunately, he was one of those people, and being scathingly self-aware could do very little to change it. He needed his terrible nightguard job, so he needed his brain halfway functional, and that meant getting his pills refilled before the withdrawal symptoms got too severe. At the very least, the clinic took drop-in appointments.

“Samuel Fitzgerald?”

He cringed as the man in the hallway beckoned him to another room. He figured by the white coat that this was the so-called medical professional that had been generously provided to him in the spirit of goodwill and philanthropy. He had large, rectangular glasses and a long face, which Jeremy figured would be enough discernable features to correctly identify him in the future.

Dr. Miller placed himself behind a cluttered desk with a dusty computer monitor in the classic, charming grayish beige that all technology seemed to come in before the year 2000. Facing the desk, there was a faux leather armchair with a visible slash in the upper corner of the upholstery. Besides that, some motivational posters were plastered on the walls.

Jeremy sat down and ambled through the motions of exchanging pleasantries, which the doctor kept graciously brief.

“Now let’s get right into the nitty gritty. Are you sexually active?”

“... No.”

Dr. Miller let out a quiet chuff, as if amused by his response.

“Do you smoke?”

“Sorta, but I’m- um, trying to quit.”

“Are you on any medications? If so, which ones?”

“Xanax, I guess. The uh, generic brand though. Can you- um, could you get my prescription renewed? That's actually- that's why I'm here. I've been taking it for, like, a long time now, and…”

“We can discuss that once we’re finished the screening process.” Miller took some sheets of paper from his folder and held one up, “Duck or rabbit?”

“Rabbit.”

“Great. How about this one?” he shuffled to the next paper, which was a printout of an Rorschach Inkblot. At this point, Jeremy had his answers for inkblot tests locked and loaded.

“Ghost.”

“And this?”

“Also a ghost.”

The doctor leaned in with an inquisitive smirk, “Do you believe in ghosts, Sam? Are you a superstitious guy?”

“I don’t know. I just think they're cool.”

“What's your relationship with your father like?”

“Not applicable.”

“What are you looking for?”

“Again, I-I need my meds refilled.”

“Why?”

“Because I can't stop taking them suddenly or I get jittery and spacey and I can't think, can't sleep, and my head hurts and I feel like throwing up all the time.”

“It says on your file that you have a family history of psychosis. Are you aware of this?”

“Being crazy has been running in our genetics since prehistoric times. Can I please—”

“Follow the yellow rabbit.”

“Get my… What?”

Dr. Miller held out what looked to be a pen topped with a small plastic bunny figurine. He slowly waved it from side to side.

“With your eyes. Trust the process.”

Jeremy obeyed, “You know, despite its- its clinical popularity, most members of the scientific community uh, they consider EMDR to be borderline pseudoscientific–”

“I can't help you if you don't let me, Sammy. At least try to keep an open mind.”

“I've had an open mind. I never skipped a session, I took my pills. I went on walks, I filled out worksheets, I read those short stories about kids who were quote-unquote just like me. All I got was this stupid benzo addiction.”

He took a shaky breath, still following the plastic bunny with his eyes.

“I’ve heard the buzzwords a million times: progress isn't linear. Grief doesn't always dull with time, it just gets easier to manage. It gets better, blah blah, etcetera. It's not like I chose to be like this! It's just- I’m- I’m not supposed to be here, it was supposed to be me- not Charlie, not Cass, it- it really, really should have been me.”

“And yet here you are.”

The doctor put down the pen then reached into his desk, shuffling around before pulling out a small, unlabeled bottle of pills.

Dr. Miller tossed the bottle to Jeremy with a grin, “They're not exactly your Xannies, but they're in the same family. Best I can do on short notice, but they should tide you over until I can getcha something better.”

Jeremy let out a heavy sigh of relief and crumpled over in the chair. Despite his deep embarrassment about crying in front of other people, a gross, wet sniffle escaped him.

Miller hummed approvingly, “Attaboy, have some damn catharsis. It’s good for the id.”

#my writing #parmaverse #fnaf fanfiction #fnaf au

[jardin-de-limaginaire]

can you do a platonic noel x reader? any scenario you wish to write would be heavily appreciated <3 thank u!

Of course! Noel is actually my favorite character from RTC (along with Ricky) So this will be fun to write! Sorry if this didn't come out how you wanted, but I literally came up with the idea for this scenario in like 1 minute, so the idea isn't really that developed, and the story turned out kind of cheesy （◞‸◟）

Thanks to your request, here's your order of a scenario I came up with! The scenario is about how (Y/N) and Noel are both in a group project at school, and are assigned to write a story together. This was an excellent way for Noel to introduce (Y/N) to his very own original character, Monique Gibeau.

Also, sorry for not writing in almost a week! I was busy with school, but now I'm free to write because It's a winter vacation (for me at least)!

By the time I'm posting this, it will be Christmas eve, so for anybody that celebrates it, please take this as a present (also for people who don't celebrate it, since you guys also deserve a present from me)

(Tw: mentions of stabbing in (Y/N) and Noel's story that they were making)

Word count: 1,007 words

Monique Gibeau's happy ending (PLATONIC NOEL+Gn!READER)

(𝓨/𝓝)'𝓼 𝓟𝓞𝓥

I was tapping my pencil against the desk as I was listening to the teacher talk about something. I wasn't really paying attention since this was the last period of school, so the only words I heard were "blah blah blah, Mr/Miss/Mx. (L/N) and Mr. Gruber, blah blah blah". Yeah, it was pretty boring to be hones- WAIT DID THE TEACHER MENTION MY NAME? AND ON TOP OF THAT, NOEL'S????

I looked at my friend Noel, who was sitting next to the person that was sitting behind me, and he also had the same shocked expression. as me.

He mouthed "what do we do?" And I just shrugged and put my head on my desk as an answer. The bell finally rang and the bell signaled the end of the day. We all got up from our seats and I walked to Noel since I think that we got assigned some kind of project.

"So...We're assigned to do a story, right?" I asked. Noel sighed and nodded, before he got his backpack and walked away, together with me.

"Yeah…and by we, you mean you and I," he whispered, trying to not bring attention to us as we were both walking out of school. "Oh…" I said, trying not to let my voice sound disappointed. He smiled. "Well, at least we'll have each other as a partner! That has to be better than going alone!" He laughed. I chuckled. "Yeah…" I said again before we went outside. It was still snowing and the ground looked like glass under my feet. I grabbed Noel's hand and pulled him towards the coffee shop where our classmates would skip class to go. I'm sure most of them wouldn't be there since they already went home or to their clubs, but I wanted to make sure we'd get something to eat before going to his house to work on the project. When we came in, it was actually fairly empty. There were maybe 5 people in total, excluding the two of us, which made things a lot easier, and we found a small table by the window so we could sit and eat without being bothered. Noel sat down first and then patted the chair next to him. I sat down and took off my coat before Noel took out his Chromebook that we had to carry at school every day.

"How about we start writing the project here so that we can have time to only edit it when we go to my house," Noel suggested. "Sure, sounds good!" I said. "Do we have a certain theme we need to follow for this project?" I asked. "Uh, yeah. A love story!" Noel said, looking kind of excited "Ooohhhh…" I smiled, thinking about what kind of story this could be. "Do you have any ideas about what characters we should write about?" I asked. "Umm, well…I've been meaning to ask you if I could tell you something personal." He said sheepishly. "Oh! Uh, sure! Only if you feel comfortable with it!" I replied, getting excited.

"Okay so…uhm…" He began, clearly not wanting to say whatever he wanted to say, but I could tell it was important. "Well, it's sorta embarrassing to say…" He muttered. "Tell me! I promise I won't laugh!" I reassured him. "Okay…um…" He started again. "It's kinda embarrassing, but…" he looked back into my eyes "but I thought you might understand." "Understand what?" I asked. He bit his lip. "That I created this character named Monique Gibeau as an alter ego of mine…" he mumbled again. "She was always one of my favorite characters ever because she's so independent and brave, but she's always faced with a bad ending…" He added quietly. I felt sorry for him.

"How about we write a happy ending for her in this story we're creating?" I asked, giving him a melancholic smile. He looked slightly surprised. "A happy ending?! Are you serious?!" He looked at me with big eyes. I giggled. "Of course! What kind of hero doesn't want a happy ending?" I said jokingly. "Plus, this story is based on your favorite character, so why not give the whole thing a try?" I tried to encourage him. "I'm not really a fan of happy endings, but sure, let's try I guess…" he said. He seemed to think for a minute, then he got excited.

"Alright, so how about we start with a plotline for this?" He asked, pulling up his notes. "So basically Monique is a hooker from post-war France, and one day she kills her pimp. After getting away with murder, she falls in love with someone who doesn't love her, and-" "Woah Noel! That's a novel-worthy plot you gave there!" I interrupted with a twinkle in my eyes. "But we do need to write a love story with a happy ending!" I continued

"Well, Monique loves this guy called Marcel, and he loves her too, although he's afraid that if he tells Monique that he wants her love, she'll laugh at him. Then she decides to meet him after her shift ends, and she gets stabbed in the back by Marcel. She then wakes up in the house of a nurse named…" he trailed off as he looked over a few pages. He turned around and smiled at me. "I got it! The nurse's name is Elisa, and Monique finally feels true love when she gets to know Elisa. Done, that's the happy ending that you so wanted." Noel said, trying to look bored, but underneath that bored facade, you could see that he actually had fun making that story. I smiled at him. "You really are a creative genius! Let's start writing now." I said, drinking my coffee. He grinned and he began writing. I can't wait to finish this story that Noel came up with within 1 minute.

𝑅𝑒𝒷𝓁𝑜𝑔 >> 𝐿𝒾𝓀𝑒 (𝒩𝑜𝓉 𝒻𝑜𝓇𝒸𝒾𝓃𝑔, 𝒷𝓊𝓉 𝐼 𝓇𝑒𝒶𝓁𝓁𝓎 𝓃𝑒𝑒𝒹 𝓂𝑜𝓇𝑒 𝓇𝑒𝓆𝓊𝑒𝓈𝓉𝓈 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓇𝑒𝒶𝒹𝑒𝓇𝓈)

#Randommoonchild #x reader #ride the cyclone #ride the cyclone noel #noel gruber #noel ride the cyclone #ride the cyclone x reader #noel rtc #noel x reader #noel gruber x reader #rtc #rtc x reader #rtc fanfic #platonic

[realmyths]

So far I've gotten 0 responses to my request for feedback, and tbh, I'm...not surprised. I do wish I had gotten responses, of course. But I've noticed that I often don't. Not all the time. Sometimes I do.

But not as often as I'd like to. And tbh, that doesn't really make me feel too good. Obviously, I know people have lives and things to do while online and RPing, etc. However, I do hope that eventually I will get some feedback. How can I improve or know what to keep the same if I don't get feedback,right? :) So hopefully I will soon.

But tbh I'm sure it's not just me. The RPC is just...not the same as it once was, for the most part. Now don't get me wrong. I love every single one of you. But once upon a time (I remember), every time one reblogged a meme, there would be plenty sent to your askbox. And sure, people still send memes. And once upon a time, asking for feedback would result in plenty of just that. And sure, people still send feedback.

But I do feel like the RPC doesn't do these things to the same extent it once did. So basically, what I'm trying to say is: support your RP partners. If they reblog a meme, send it! If they want feedback on how they're doing/how they can improve, give it! If they post a headcanon, like it! Just do whatever you can to make this community a more welcoming place. Or people will probably just leave.

Not that I'm planning on doing that any time soon. But I do feel sorta...blah...about RPing at the moment. I'm going to try to shake it off, though. Because I would like to get more drafts done lol. And don't get me wrong, I love all my RP partners. I love those I haven't really gotten a chance to RP with much yet. I even love all of those who haven't followed me back yet who I may never RP with. <3 I just do wish that the old RPC could make a comeback in that people would get super excited to share how they're feeling with their RP partners. And maybe this is on me. Maybe I'm doing something wrong without being aware of it. But if I am, please please please let me know. Because I can't fix it if I don't know there's a problem. Okay?

Thank you to anyone who read all of this. And sorry for being so negative. I'm just feeling a bit blah and needed to get it out. <3

#sometimes i see so much beauty i dont think that i can cope (out of character.) #ooc #(ooc.) #(out of character.) #negative cw #just feeling a bit blah #nothing serious just rp stuff lol #and not @ anyone just...a general feeling i'm having #i am still welcoming feedback though <3

[some-pers0n]

Hiii sp😁😁 sorru I got distracted scrolling through your blog for like an hour I forgot I was going to ask yuo smth (that you don't have to answer btw) but I remember you mentioning once abt how when you meet other willwood fans they aren't as into him as you are? Or they don't like uhm. I can't remember what it was exactly but smth abt you analyzing his music? I wanted to ask what you meant by that or if there's any other meaning behind songs that you've noticed that you think isn't brought up much? /nf :3

Oh no that's all good :] Don't apologize for that!

I find that it's a coin toss between a person being a fan of Will Wood's music and being a Will Wood fan, you get me? Like the difference between somebody who listens to I/Me/Myself, The Main Character, and maybe Dr. Sunshine is Dead and Skeleton Appreciation Day VS somebody who looks you dead in the eyes and tells you their favourite song is "Nüburbåtizé!" I know it's annoying to be all pretentious and hipster about things, and I don't want to dissuade people from listening to Will's music as it is really good, but idk I like talking with people with the same obsession over The Guy as I do.

Music analysis of Will Wood my beloved,,, I'm of the type who kinda scoffs and rolls their eyes when people insist that Skeleton Appreciation Day (or Bones)(I'mma just call it Bones) is about anorexia, or at the very least is mostly about it. I've always interpreted it more as a want to be seen and loved by another person so much to the point where your love is embedded within your very soul. Your bones, one could say. It's a longing and somber song about a person who is broken and heavily damaged (perhaps suffering from an ED themselves) and wanting to be loved despite their flaws. It's a theme that appears a lot within Will's music, so I associate Bones with that.

Hmm...another interpretation? I once saw a person say that they believe Outliars and Hyppocrates to be about a drug trip. That annoyed me to no end. No, OaH is about being a creep. A weirdo. Somebody who doesn't belong. It's about the narrator, somebody who is strange and nonconforming to society's expectations, just sorta rambling. It fits into the themes of The Normal Album. It being about a drug trip doesn't feel right. It feels more correct in, say, Everything is a Lot, but here in TNA? Nah. Also the lyrics don't really...say anything like that.

White Noise being about depression and intrusive thoughts I always like. The "White Noise" in question being the buzzing, nonsensical thoughts that your brain tries convincing you that you enjoy and is the true part of you. It isn't. I like it more than White Noise being about consumerism and the nature of soulless art. In Case I Make It is such a personal album that I don't think Will would end it on that note. Yeah yeah You Liked This exists, but I that doesn't really count.

What's some other ones... White Knuckle Jerk being about the narrator jerking off to a woman who doesn't know he exists (which also ties into the themes of love and wanting to be loved despite how kinda messed up you are), Falling Up being about becoming an adult and having to exist in this world now, Um...It's Kinda a Lot being about loving somebody despite being a deeply paranoid and anxious person, Alright That's Enough Let's Get You Home being about loving somebody who doesn't exist (Will really loves these type of songs), yada yada. Blah blah.

I think some songs that are fun to analyze and wonder about are BlackBoxWarrior, Venetian Blind Man, and Misanthropologist. Also literally the entire Self-Ish album. I could ramble forever about that album and its themes.

#sp-rambles #ask #sneeb

[picavecalyx]

Rex’s Gardening Service here.

Loamy Soil:

You have such a bright future ahead of you. There is so much talent, so much passion, and so much care up in that noggin of yours. And here you are, sharing it with all of us to see, LITERALLY FOR FREE, that sounds like a crime. You’re such a sweet person, you’re a little beam of sunshine, a lil rainbow, I appreciate you, you’re neat. And it’s VERY noticeable when you aren’t on the dash— but I know that when you aren’t here, it’s because you’re taking care of yourself, as you SHOULD, because damn, you work hard. You work H A R D! Can’t wait for you to get your first job in an animation studio, so that I can be like /POINT “IT’S MY FRIEND, TUMBLR USER NAMI!”

Sun Light:

You write literally everybody. If you told me that you wrote literally any character, I’d nod and go “yeah, sounds about right, she probably goes a great job.” I don’t know how you do it, but you do it in such a way that none of your characters feel stale, or like they overlap into one another. That’s not easy to do! And SILVA! *Silva.* I want her to be happy. And knowing that you have such a love for tragedy scares me so much. (That is a compliment.) I’m so invested in your OC, it’s nuts.

Drizzle from the watering can:

If Silva was in control of your job for a full day, what would she do?

god, so often i feel like i'm not good enough, or maybe am putting too much thought into nothing, or even just screaming to an empty void. as exhausting and stressful as life can be, i'm so happy that i can share what i make with everyone. not only that, but i'm happy i can collaborate and make more things with everyone around me. there was a brief time when i first started really getting into writing and feeling like what i was making was good where something happened and i felt like i couldn't ever collaborate again. paranoia and obstinant fears that in the end i'm glad no longer hold the weight they do now.

sometimes--a lot of times--i do feel bad for not being on here as much as i probably could. i feel bad for not being able to respond to things as fast as others--especially when i used to be someone that always had things under control. though honestly the more time passed the more i've removed myself from the idea that was very prevelent--thinking this was a job. that's something i'm so happy i've been able to remove myself from. this is a hobby, and i'm so glad i can treat it like one and make beautiful wonderful things as a hobby.

honestly something i worry about when i write a million muses, especially when i write them all overlapping and knowing each other is that things will feel too gatekeepy or that it's impossible to put another muse in because something's already "figured out." a lot of times i sorta go by the--if nobody will i'll do it myself. hell look at all the team flare shit i write, the living crystal stuff, terapagos, blah blah blah. i worry that the lore is too thick and that prevents interactions, but honestly i like being flexible about it 😔✊️ plus a lot of the "deep lore" i've got really doesnt matter unless the muses outwardly make it a point to mention it. i'm just glad i can be embraced when scrolling bullshit onto a page.

i love tragedy, i love scaring people, i love making people hurt as much as they feel joy, it's apart of writing. :) glad to scare you [affectionate]

FINALLY.

silva doesn't have the patience to animate drawing, she'd switch my major and do stopmotion and when i'd come back i'd cry because there would be a hot set and i'd feel too guilty to touch anything because silva would somehow have the will to make an entire half stop motion film in an entire day.

#ooc ;; pterodolphin has no devil fruit #BITESBYOUBITESYOUBITESYOUBI #chounaifu

[robinruns]

Tomorrow is one of the most annoying days of the year at work: Health Risk Assessment day. The only day more annoying is the day the results come out. But tomorrow we get weighed and measured and blood drawn, and in a couple weeks they email us our results. It gives the company an overall look at the health of the employees who choose to participate. Also if you choose to participate you get $50, and if you score above an 84 (out of 100) or improve your score by 4 points, you get an additional $50.

(This got long so I'm putting in a cut)

Everyone always talks about eating well right before it, and we used to hold this event in January, but people were mad it was too soon after the holidays and they needed to lose weight. Like it's supposed to measure overall health, not how much weight you can lose a couple weeks before it.

I'm not looking forward to my coworkers talking about how much they weigh and how many points they got and blah blah blah. I know I'm going to lose points because of my weight this year. Hell my blood work might be fucked, idk. But you better believe I got a big ol' bag of peanut m&ms at the grocery store this evening and at the whole thing.

I just feel very... idgaf-y about a lot at the moment, specifically around my health. Should I be trying to lose weight because I'm predisposed for lots of conditions if I don't? Yea. Should I try to get back into the regular habit of going to the gym to improve my fitness? Obviously. Should I be trying to est healthier and more nutritiously balanced meals? 100%.

Am I doing any of that? Not with any consistency. And I hate it.

I want to curl up in bed and sleep for days. I want to go on a silent retreat where there is no noise and I can calm the stress that is constantly running rampant in my head. I want to... idk what are the instagrammers doing now? Balance my hormones, and drain my lymphatic system and whatever whatever whatever.

All this sorta thing was so easy, but now it feels next to impossible no matter what motivation or reward or goal I put in place. Spite doesn't work. Gentle encouragement doesn't work. I don't know what I need to make myself do the things.

#personal

[theinsanecrayonbox]

X-Force #45

Spoilers: there’s only 1 panel of Arkady

We open (and primarily focus the whole issue) on Chronicler being a narrator and blah blah ah. Colossus is sent to go kidnap an Orchis backgrounder to replace him as Mikhail’s puppet. Once they got her, Mikhail sends Piotr off to go do whatever while Chronicler starts writing fanfic about backgrounder.

Meanwhile, Sage and Dom call Deadpool to get help. He’s an Avenger right now, and more interested in hanging by the pool. And he pulls this line

Dom cussed him out, saying he should help out if loyalty and friendship. That’s all well and good, but did everyone forget that Ellie, his daughter, IS A MUTANT. If the world is pro-Orchis and anti-mutant, you think he’d have a little more concern about that other than “lost the party island”

Anyways, the girls take the ring they stole last issue to Dr Strange, who tries to explain Mikhail’s powers; it’s not magic, it’s rearranging matter…I think. I guess that sorta makes sense, since Piotr’s powers just rearrange his own matter, and Illyana’s magic rearranges matter on the regular. I know siblings don’t *have* to make related power sets (the Maximoff twins are a great example of that) but usually there’s some similarity.

Cutting back to Mikhail and Chronicler; Mikhail grows impatient, Chronicler turns on him and writes background lady shooting him. The o key dimension starts to unravel. To be continued. Also the one image of Arkady

And Laura and Quinten were on the page too, but I don’t care as much/at all.

Climax is coming? Maybe? It’s gonna be the Rasputins fighting each other, knew that from the start, but it’s kinda feeling like another rushed ending of an arc? Idk, Arkady’s still alive so I’m still engaged, so we’ll see I guess.

#kp reads comics #kp rants about comics #he’s gotta survive to Jan so can pretend there’s a chance at a reunion with Victor

[lovecolibri]

SaL anon here bestie and I'm afraid it's time. It was bound to happen at some point during the hiatus, but I feel like now that it's here we should rip the bandaid off and talk about all the reasons the sperm donor arc is some if the stupidest shit I've ever seen. So let's start with what really pissed me off this week which is KR's comments about this storyline. Can't remember the exact quote but something like "Buck needs to be happy with himself, figure out what he wants, it's important to

do that before being happy in a relationship, blah, blah, blah" to which I thought "Why indeed KR this is true which is exactly why WE SHOULD HAVE SEEN THIS HAPPEN LAST YEAR WITH THE WHOLE TAYLOR RELATIONSHIP!!" This is exactly how that story was set up, constantly showing Buck's misery, his half-hearted ily, the chance to realize he needs more than just a person that doesn't leave to be happy. And absolutely nothing came of it. We spent a whole season with this BS only to have it end with no growth for Buck. And NOW you think it's time to address this 🙄🙄🙄??!! Also this leads into my second bitchy observation. Part of the appeal of having a break up growth arc was it was relatable. Maybe we haven't all experienced it but I'd argue most people can relate to the idea of leaving (or being left) a relationship that isn't bad but isn't what you want. Eddie's breakdown arc last season was relatable, not because we all know what PTSD like but we can all appreciate the idea of bottling up hurt and pain because we don't want to face it or keep a brave face for those we love. What exactly am I supposed to be connecting to with this donor BS?? We all don't have an innate desire to have kids, or do a big favor for a sorta friend we once knew. I have a complete emotional disconnect from this storyline and don't see that changing. So next let's talk about how fucking illogical every part of this story is (on a side note I laughed at the fans out-googling the 911 writers on so many things, reminds me of my science RNM  science sin compilations). Anyway, just why would anyone approach their friend they barely keep contact with to do this particular favor (maybe they explained but honestly I've blocked so many of those scenes from my long term memory)?? Why not a close friend (or relative even)? If you're going for emotional distance why not just an anonymous donor? The whole premise feels so contrived. Probably gotta leave it here for now since I'm getting sleepy. But i'm not close to being done (i'm not even done with this one point) so i hope ypu're ready for more of an inbox full later. Feel free to respond to what I do have because honestly bestie, this may take awhile.

My friend, as always your thoughts are perfectly on point! First, YES that growth was what SHOULD have come out of Buck having a relationship where he recognized he was clinging to something that wasn’t fulfilling for him and being the one to call it quits. But with the cheating added into the mix and then the Jonah mess, Buck didn’t end the relationship on “his” terms, he was pushed by her actions and needing to protect his friends. And ya know what? It might have worked if they had it end in 5a, and then spent 5b with Buck figuring out how to be happy with himself and what he wants. Also, what TF was 5x18 if not TWO instances of it being stated what Buck wants?! First with the Maddie “isn’t that what love is?” conversation and then the firefam “someone to have your back” conversation. 

ANYWAY, fine, Buck still needs to learn what the key to happiness is, but please tell me why after how much we had to suffer through that BT mess, we are having yet another season of Buck clinging to something that isn’t right for him and won’t make him happy, just because he thinks doing something to make someone else happy is important even if it hurts him. If the WHOLE point of the BT mess was showing Buck being a “settler” and a “clinger” then why are we right back in the same place with him settling for being a donor not a dad, and clinging on to this couple like he’s going to be ‘fun uncle Buck”? You KNOW that couple isn’t going to want a constant reminder of how they “failed” to make a baby “on their own”, or risk their kid (or Buck) getting too attached. Not to mention how awkward it would be for them to explain their sperm donor just being around all the time. Also what was the point of Hen asking if he could have a child out there and walk away, if he can JUST be a donor and nothing more, if the storyline is showing him constantly acting like he’s going to be fulling involved in this kids life? How is ANY of this helping Buck figure out how to be happy with himself when he’s still putting himself and his needs behind other people’s who are using him for parts? What happened to him figuring out the right “couch” and how to be “at ease” and Lev’s death being something that hit him super hard and made him start thinking about his life? Because all of that got abandoned in favor of this soap opera level pointless “drama”. Thanks, I hate it.

As far as connecting to the storyline, I don’t even think it’s just about some people not wanting kids and therefore not being able to connect, it’s about the way this story is being told. Because you’re right, even people without war-related PTSD could relate or at least emotionally connect to Eddie’s arc. But with Buck, we aren’t given enough/consistent info about his thoughts and feelings to connect with! He seems unsure when he talks to Hen and that “donor not dad” line really seemed to throw him for a loop. So the audience was prepared to see him struggle with this decision a bit, maybe saying “let me think about it” and then an episode or 2 later (after some interactions with a call and/or Eddie/Chris, or Maddie (and maybe Jee) make him re-evaluate things), he tells them no, because he’s realized he can’t just donate and walk away. (Even weighty arcs like the lawsuit and Eddie’s fighting arc only lasted a couple episodes so this would be easy to wrap up within the confines of 6a) Instead he says “yes” immediately without talking to Eddie, Maddie, or Bobby or taking into real account what Hen said. Okay, fine, so he’s said yes, now it’s time for the family history to come into play or a talk with Eddie or Maddie or Bobby right?! Wrong! It’s time to forget about it for a month! Then, when it finally comes back, it’s got two conflicting things happening at once. Thing one: It’s all a big joke! Buck is telling Hen about his masturbation habits (which as everyone has pointed out is actually NOT what you should do which Buck would know if he was doing all that research on what to eat and everything, but that would require the WRITERS to do that research and OPP! Either they didn’t bother, or decided this was “funnier” than the facts 🙄). Buck is getting cock-blocked by the sperm bank! Buck’s firefam is eavesdropping on the reveal when Buck get’s accosted at work and they get caught staring! How funny is that?! (🙄🙄🙄 NOT actually funny but of course it’s never addressed) But then we have thing two. Which is the fact that despite the writing playing this off as a joke, they’re also making sure Buck isn’t telling anyone besides Hen, and makes it clear he doesn’t want her to tell anyone else. Why not? Why would Buck keep this a secret from his sister that he always goes to for a listening ear? From his best friend who isn’t afraid to give him tough talks when he needs them? From his father figure whose advice he respects? The answer if this was in an earlier season with better writing would be that he knows he’s not making the right choice and isn’t ready to confront the truth. But we don’t get any indication of that either! Just Buck desperate to do his donation, apologetic to the couple when he can’t get it done and doubling down on his commitment and excitement to do this for them, and a continued joy in the whole thing, with no indication that anyone is gearing up for a big talk with him. So why was Buck sooo desperate to not let anyone know? The audience is being given two different messages at the same time! Buck is super excited about doing this in his words, and Buck is also super concerned about the people closest to him finding out that he’s doing this in his actions. But since we don’t see him expressing that worry, and we don’t see the team expressing any worry behind his back about it, the audience doesn’t know how they are supposed to be emotionally connecting to this story. I know you’ve got another ask planed on how we’re past the point of being able to satisfyingly wrap up this arc now that a baby has been made so I’ll save some rant for that, but just focused on what we have seen, the arc doesn’t make any sense on what Buck is truly feeling and therefore what the audience should be connecting to within the storyline. 

As for why they asked Buck, his buddy said it was because Buck was a good, kind, selfless person and you can’t tell that from a genetics facts sheet at the sperm bank. Which is....a) grossly manipulative, especially for someone like Buck which dude HAD to know, and b) isn’t even a tiny bit factually true! Yes kids have their own personalities and what they like and enjoy may not always line up with what their parents do, but your child being a good and kind person is sorta down to you teaching them to be good and kind. It isn’t going to just *happen* because of “genetics”. My guess is they approached him because he IS good and kind and they figured he would say yes, with the added bonus of him being a physically healthy person with on the surface level, probably “good” genetics.

Anyway, I tried to give this storyline a chance, just like I did with the impending BT breakup, but just like last season, it’s reached a point where pretty much whatever they do is going to result in Buck being the “victim” again and being the one to be “left behind” instead of being able to make the choice himself to leave a situation that isn’t good for him, meaning again, no real growth, and more of Buck being stuck having scenes and arcs entirely outside the firefam/his job. And as we saw with 4x14 and 99.9% of s5 and the BT relationship, KR doesn’t like anyone in the firefam being involved in Buck’s personal arcs. (Probably because if they WERE, he might actually learn something and be able to grow a little and we just can’t have that.)

#my sweet nonnie friends #sleeping at last anon #911 #911 spoilers #evan buckley #anti bucktaylor #bestie i am already SO tired of this arc i cannot do another half season of this #we suffered enough with the bt and L mess dragging out forever #we don't deserve this!! #BUCK doesn't deserve this!! #his firefam his best friend his sister his father figure ALL deserve better than being cut out of this arc #or just used for laughs and not to have a real conversation with him #once again the potential was there and kr had to swerve HARD lest she actually allow buck some growth #i have SO much salt about this storyline so keep the asks coming! I need to scream into the void about it #so i don't commit A Violence