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yoonieper · 2 years

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Helping Hand | JJK

Sometimes all you need is a helping hand.

♡ Pairing: Jungkook x Reader (also a teeny bit of Jimin x Reader)

♡ Genre: Roommate AU, Best Friend AU, Best Friends to lovers, Smut, Fluff, Angst????

♡ Rated: D for Down Bad

♡ Warnings: Lotte concert 2019 Jungkook, PTD concert black swan Jimin (yes these are warnings), Y/N needs some dick, jk is also pretty down bad, mentions of past substance abuse, mentions of depression, mentions of character death, very brief and vague mentions of su*cidal thoughts, this fic is heavy and horny please beware, jk a lil bit of a dummy, masturbation, semi public sex(ish), grinding, car sex, cumming in pants, fingering, oral (m + f receiving), overstimulation, protected sex (follow they lead kiddies), gets cute towards the end I promise~

♡ Word Count: 23.4k

♡ Summary: A double blind date was your suggestion. Everything about it should make him happy, but this sinking feeling just won’t go away. All he wanted was to get it over with.

♡ Now Playing…: X by Tinashe, Backseat by Khalid, and Good Days by Sza

♡ Author’s Note: A story from the vault of the 2020 works I started but never published! This was meant to be posted on Valentine's Day, but life got in the way so I’m just posting it now instead of keeping it for another year. Let’s just pretend 🤡 Happy Valentine’s Day to all the couples out there, and for all my singles, we’ll get ‘em next year 😩✊🏽 Also a big thank you to @kth1 for the graphics and @jessikahathaway for reading over this for me!

No reposting, modifying. Translating is not allowed unless given explicit permission. Thank you so much :D

Fuck everything.

It was dismal that these were the first words that came to mind as you stepped out of your last class for today.

To put it frankly, this day has not treated you kindly.

These feelings of deep anguish were all caused by the simple fact that it was Valentine's Day. Couples everywhere were trapped in a lovestruck trance by the holiday, wanting to do anything and everything to celebrate. You had nothing against it but you were not in the right mental state to handle all of the affection. It made going anywhere unbearable, promotions for the perfect date spots all over campus, posts all over social media about your friends going out with their partners, every corner you turned you couldn’t escape it.

After your classes, you were tired of it all. It just made the journey back to your little apartment even more exhausting. Lovey-dovey couples holding hands, kissing, being together everywhere you looked had made you so riled up to the point where you were even considering calling your ex, Incheol, to help fill that void.

Why were you so hot and bothered? Sure all the PDA can get to any single person, especially on Valentine’s Day, but what got you to the point of even considering going so low as to call your ex again just to get some dick?

It’s just been a long year.

It’s not that you wanted to go this long without sex, but it just ended up that way. After your break up with Incheol you really just weren’t in the mood to look for anyone else.

When you first started college, you couldn’t really be tied down. You partied and whoever held your attention long enough was yours for the night. Unintentionally, you started a bit of a crusade with different guys around campus because of this. You didn’t want to, but you were just too busy for anything more than a one night stand. It was that way until you met Incheol. He was your first serious boyfriend and it was a nice, satisfactory relationship. You made some really great memories together, even the break up was clean.

It sounds amazing on paper, but it made it hard to jump back in and start seeing other people. By the time you were even considering going out on dates again, preparing for law school began to take up all your time.

In turn that left you with no dick for a year.

You swear if you see one more couple stuffing their tongues down each other’s throats, you might actually go insane. Lucky for you, your apartment wasn’t too far from campus, an 8 minute bus ride was all it typically took to get back home. It wasn’t too long before you were busting down the door ready to break something.

“Jungkook!!” You called, a strong sense of agitation in your voice as you kicked off your shoes, knowing you needed your best friend for support.

You two had been friends since high school. It was when you both got accepted to colleges in the same city, after talking it out a little, you decided it would just be easier to share an apartment when you moved to Seoul. Now it’s been a little over 4 years since you’ve moved in together and became the best friend and roommate dynamic duo.

You were first greeted with the sight of his shirtless back, the tattoos all along his right arm on full display, his fluffy hair was sticking up in all different directions, telling you he was likely just getting up.

Jungkook was hunched over the counter eating his cereal, nothing strange, but you were in no condition to see him like that.

“Jungkook?” You questioned seeing the peculiar state he was in. You hadn’t even seen his face yet and you could already tell he was exhausted.

“Oh Y/n you’re back…” He sounded so drained.

“Yeah classes are over for me, you didn’t go today?” You wondered, though the answer was pretty obvious.

He shook his head and laughed tiredly. “Not after the night I had.” Hearing that all you could do was roll your eyes. You knew exactly what happened last night.

“And whose fault was that Jungkook, you were the one who had to play and I quote ‘just one more round of cyber hunter,’ which judging by how you look now, wasn’t just one more round.” You recounted.

See the two of you, though you were best friends, have some things about you that are just polar opposites. Jungkook was creative, you used logic. He liked the cold while you liked it warm. He was neat, you were oftentimes a mess despite your love for cleaning. He liked to procrastinate everything to the last minute, and you always made sure you were never behind schedule. Polar opposites in some cases, but over the years you’ve learned that it can be beneficial at times.

“Do you have to lecture me? I'm still like half asleep, it’s too early for this shit.” He sighed, eating another spoonful of cereal. You were not really in the mood to fight him, you needed someone to rant to anyways.

You kept your mouth shut as you took a seat at one of your bar stools. “So did you finish?” You finally questioned.

He nodded slowly.

“2 minutes before the deadline, I've never felt so stressed in my life.” He chuckled lightly. You almost fell off your barstool.

When you had asked Jungkook about his project when he was playing cyber hunter instead of working, he would always brush you off and say “It’s not due till before class starts, I have plenty of time~” The fact that he finished 2 minutes before means that he was working until 7:58 this morning.

“Jungkook what did I tell you–“

“I know, you’re right, but I had things under control until I fell asleep color grading… it set me back like an hour and–” he rubbed his eyes “–and then you–” Jungkook’s eyes widened realizing what he was about to say and stopped himself real quick.

He must be out of his mind or more exhausted than he thought, thinking about telling you about last night. “I– I uh got distracted…” he simply put, not wanting you to know how complicated his feelings were right now.

Seeing you in front of him now already had his mind remembering the events of last night.

Jungkook put his spoon back in his bowl with a loud clunk. He only got a mere 4 hours of sleep after pulling an all-nighter, he was beyond tired. You could tell.

“And this Jungkook is why you should stick to the schedule I make.” You pointed to the board on the wall beside you.

In efforts of organizing your assignments and remembering the countless deadlines you had, you started writing everything down on this whiteboard. You found it extremely helpful and when Jungkook, after seeing you use it when he was hanging out in your room, pondered the idea of doing it for his own work. Well, you took the initiative of buying a bigger whiteboard and sticking it up in the kitchen so you both could use it.

Jungkook fell into the habit of writing everything down a lot quicker than you thought he would. He said it was helping him out but complained about still coming too close to deadlines that you decided to help him out by giving him advised deadlines in order to combat procrastination. It worked a lot better at first but despite your efforts you still found him in his room rushing to get things done last minute more often than not.

“I know you’re right, I’m sorry,” he sighed.

Your brows furrowed. “You don’t need to apologize,” you tried to laugh. You were expecting a snarky remark, not an apology.

“I’m still so out of it I’m sorry, I can’t think straight at all. Anyway, did you need something? You sounded pretty angry when you walked in,” he chuckled weakly.

You were still a bit worried. “We can talk later if you’re not up for it…”

Jungkook shook his head. “What’s up?” You eyed him suspiciously but you decided to continue.

You took a deep breath.

“I’msofuckinghornyI’msorryIknowthat’stoomuchinformationbutit’sbeensohardgettingthroughthedayandIthinkI’mthisclosetolosingmymind.” You sobbed.

Jungkook nearly choked on his cereal.

“You’re— You’re what?!” He coughed, somehow understanding your convoluted sentence.

“It’s been hell, Jungkook. It’s Valentine’s Day and all the couples on campus have been all over each other and—” you laid your head on the counter. “I’m so lonely.” You whined.

Oh, did he know.

Jungkook’s been trying his best to tell himself that last night was just a delusion, so tired and out of it that he imagined everything that happened in the wee hours of the morning.

His eyes had been heavy, the lights in his room all off besides his computer screen sitting righting in front of him, sharply illuminating his features. He was barely awake at that point, his eyes glassy, and probably had a concerning red tint to them, but he was determined to work hard to make sure every scene was colored the way he wanted it to be.

It had been faint at first. His noise canceling headphones drowned out most of the sound, but he swore he could hear the faint buzzing sound coming from the wall in front of his desk. It wasn’t until the moans started that he finally took them off and understood what was happening.

His face had flushed realizing what he was hearing. You were…

Oh.

He told himself it was just out of pure human curiosity that his ears tuned into the sounds next door. Even without the headphones it was faint, but it was just enough that he could hear the little groans, moans, even the way you whined, fuck. It was enough that something scary started to stir inside of him so he quickly put back on his headphones to drown it out.

Jungkook tried to get back to work, pretending that everything was normal, but even with his headphones on he could hear you. His fingers typed away on his keyboard, his leg bounced restlessly, because the more time passed the tighter his pants seemed to get.

He tried not to think about it but with your moans growing louder, the longer he couldn’t pretend.

You sounded so pretty.

It was awful, you were his fucking best friend. He could have easily turned on some music, or actually listened to the contents of the project he was working on, but he never did. The more he listened the harder it was to ignore the quickly developing problem in his pants. He was so fucking hard and you sounded so sexy.

At some point, lust took control, completely forgoing the morality of the situation, he found himself throwing off his headphones, forgetting about his project, and slipping his hands in his pants. Any sense of self control out the window.

At first he tried to reason with himself and say he was just trying to ease the ache but as soon as his hand wrapped around the shaft, he was a goner.

With a hand over his mouth, Jungkook pumped himself hard and fast, your pretty moans on the other side of the wall made it way too hard to try and control himself.

So many thoughts were bouncing around his head. He imagined how you might look on the other side, a toy between your legs, as you tried your best to get yourself to cum. He imagined going over to your room, helping you, fuck would you want that? He knew he could make you feel so good if you just let him. Thoughts of getting the chance, oh he knew you would feel so good around him.

It was disgusting, you were his friend, but the tabooness of the situation turned him on even more. He should have been ashamed.

He was, but in the moment he didn’t feel it at all. As the sounds of your moans grew relentless, he couldn’t take it anymore. It wasn’t long before his orgasm was hitting him like a freight train, he spilled all over his hand, shirt, and pants. He had never come that hard before and all it took was the sounds of his best friend behind a wall.

As his breathing slowed, the regret was quick to creep in.

What the fuck did he do?

What was the worst though was that little voice that told him it was real, and how much he truthfully enjoyed hearing you.

He must be down bad too because he crossed some serious boundaries last night…

Jungkook felt his face heat up at the thought.

“—and so now I’m like, what should I do?” Jungkook suddenly fazed back into your rambling.

“Huh?”

“I was saying what should I do? Here I am single on Valentine’s Day, hornier than I should be admitting… Like Jungkook, it's seriously been a year!” You cried and you didn’t miss when he mumbled “You’re not alone” as he was sipping up the last of the milk in the bowl.

You looked at him wide eyed. “You too? I thought for sure that...”

Jungkook shook his head. “I’ve been trying so hard to get back on track that I… I didn’t want to get distracted.” You slowly nodded, understanding.

Jungkook had been through a lot this past year to put it lightly.

It started back in your first year. While you were going around enjoying the party scene, hooking up with pretty much anyone you could, Jungkook had managed to get himself a girlfriend soon into the year.

You remember they were pretty much together all the time. He was hardly at your shared apartment and anytime he was, she was right there with him. Yoona was her name. You were honestly convinced that they would get married someday, the couple seeming to be the perfect pair. They lasted for nearly two years. It was up until one day you came home later than you normally would, to hear the two of them arguing inside.

You were nosy and a little tipsy, so you began eavesdropping behind the door. You were shocked at the words thrown at each other, and you’re almost sure you heard your name come up in the mix (though you chalk that up to the alcohol). Whatever happened Yoona stormed out leaving you to deal with an upset Jungkook who was on the brink of tears.

You still blame yourself for convincing him to go over to her place a few weeks later to talk to her. You remembered being surprised by Jungkook being back so soon, but what you remember even more was the slam of his room door only seconds after. It took a good week to get Jungkook out of his room and tell you that he found her with another guy, who was a close classmate and mutual friend apparently.

Things just kept getting worse.

It really was the day right after he told you that he got a call from his parents letting him know his uncle, someone who he had been so close to all his life, who had inspired him to pursue a career in the film industry, had been in an accident. You can’t say much from there because that’s pretty much all he told you before he was on the next train back to Busan. He called you a week later after you began blowing up his phone (you were worried) that his uncle had passed and that he needed his space.

He was gone for about a little over two months.

It was also around this same time that you started to get involved with Incheol. He was there when the apartment felt so empty and honestly he was the one who really helped ground you and get your priorities straight. It was a match made in heaven.

You were cuddling up with Incheol one day when you heard the knock at the door. You still can’t forget the shock that you felt on the day that Jungkook came back.

He was back, yes, but the moment he seemingly brushed right past you, paying really no notice to you or Incheol who was looking confused on the couch, was when you realized he still was elsewhere and hurting.

You tried to be there for him, you really did, but any attempts you had of getting close and talking about any issues failed every time.

He was distant.

You blame yourself though for not trying harder and letting Incheol sweep you off your feet the way he did, but it’s like you started seeing less and less of each as the days passed.

You had no idea about what he was getting up to, where he was most of the time. It really didn’t feel like he came back from Busan.

Any remnants of your friendship seemed few and far between until nearly halfway through your 2nd semester in your 3rd year. You had been getting ready for a date with Incheol later that day when you heard him come back, he was clearly disheveled and honestly looked so stressed. You decided to try once again asking him to talk to you and it was then that all the hardships of the last few months came rushing out.

He told you everything.

He told you how hard it was dealing with Yoona and his uncle’s passing at the same time. He told you the only reason he came back was because he missed you so much and that he had missing assignments starting to pile up. Apparently though, even after coming back to Seoul he just couldn’t seem to pull himself back together.

Jungkook started doing shit he wasn’t proud of. He was partying, carelessly sleeping around, hanging out with people he knew he shouldn’t have, and he said he did things that he wasn’t even comfortable telling you (and he’s normally fine telling you everything). He let you know that he was also so behind in assignments that he had a meeting that day about them suggesting he drop the semester and that he risked getting kicked out of programs he worked his ass off to get into. He even said they were considering to expel him because of his sudden disappearance even after he explained the situation.

It was that day when things began to take a turn. You assisted Jungkook in talking with his administrators to create a plan and helped him catch up on his assignments to finally get back on track.

You were there with him through the dark days, trying your best to be by his side. You knew he wasn’t telling you everything that happened while you two were distant, at times he would completely isolate himself and shut you out.

It was obvious there was more going on. Jungkook would sometimes lock himself in his room and you could just hear the torment that was happening behind that door. Sometimes all you could do was knock occasionally to make sure he was ok. You made him food and would stay by his door to try to let him know you were here for him. Other times he would tell you openly about the depression he was battling and would just want an ear to vent to. He was always vague, but you made sure you were a shoulder he could lean on. You even helped pay for him to get professional help, sensing he needed it, and the fact he wasn’t working at the time.

It was a rocky road, but after some time Jungkook started to convalesce. You started to see the life in Jungkook’s eyes that you didn’t realize you missed so much until one day when you randomly started crying when you both decided to take a break and watch a movie together.

He was just critiquing the movie as he usually would, but it just made you realize that he was back.

This whole thing did have some consequences for you though. As you were busy helping Jungkook, you started having less and less time to balance Jungkook, work, school, and a boyfriend. After a while it was decided that you and Incheol were drifting apart and it was best to just end things.

As much as you knew it was the right decision, it still hurt because you really did care for him. You found yourself in Jungkook’s arms more than once as you cried your eyes out, binge watching your favorite series over and over again.

Since then though, it really has just been you and Jungkook. You both would sometimes hang out with your other friends, but after everything that happened you just seemed to not be apart too often.

“Well I guess that means we’re both desperate, am I right?” You chuckled lightly.

“Too right,” he sighed.

Silence seemed to come in between you two, but your mind was busy trying to come up with some sort of solution.

“Wait… I have an idea.” You enthusiastically got up from your bar stool, a habit of needing to stand whenever you were working things out in your brain. Jungkook smiled when he noticed.

“What if we set each other up?” You looked at him but you could tell he was still very much so confused.

“Listen listen listen. So what if we set each other up with some of our friends, like maybe you have a friend who would be interested in me, and I know I definitely have a friend who likes you. We pick a day to meet up and…” You voice got all sultry, trying to hint at the result of your glorious plan.

Jungkook didn’t miss the way his heart tightened at your proposition.

“Like a double date would be perfect. We could have fun and go out together which I think we desperately need. I could meet with one of your friends and you mine. We could hang out together, separate later in the night and, if things go well, we both get laid. Jungkook, I think I really might be a genius.” You bounced around, your eyes trained on him to see what he thought.

Jungkook was just waiting for that sense of enthusiasm to hit. It was a great idea, but the more he thought about it, the more that tightness in his chest seemed to get worse. Why wasn’t he excited? He should be as happy as you were.

Maybe it’s just because it’s been awhile?

Jungkook forced a smile. “I’m down.”

You smiled.

“Ok so let's surprise each other. I already have the perfect girl in mind. She’s your type personality wise, she’s really pretty, and I know for a fact she likes you so you can have full confidence in me that you’ll have a great time, ok!” You reassured him.

“That sounds nice.” Jungkook didn’t mean it, and he didn’t do a good job of hiding it.

“Do you have anyone in mind for me?” You questioned, honestly a little curious.

There’s that weird feeling again…

“Ummmm I think so, I’ll have to check with him though…” Jungkook shyly rubbed the back of his neck.

He did for a fact have someone in mind. He had no doubt that he’d make time to come and he knows that you’re his type.

Jungkook shouldn’t be feeling like this at all. He’s helping out his friend and you’re helping him out. And it’s not like he isn’t horny, because if last night proves anything, he definitely needs to get laid.

He couldn’t seem to pinpoint why he would rather spend an evening with you watching another season of the Great British Baking Show than out at a club for an easy hookup.

He was never the type to hate parties. Sure he was definitely an introvert and you’re the opposite, but he’s always had a great time going to them secretly whenever you would drag him along. Especially with the circumstances, he should actually be excited for this…

Definitely something was wrong with him.

Maybe it’s the lack of sleep?

“Ok! Let me know as soon as you can so I can start planning~” He couldn’t stop smiling this time at how enthusiastic you get about planning. The look on your face had him feeling all warm inside.

“Anyway, I have work to do so let me go ahead and get a head start!” You smiled, grabbing your bags.

“Go get some sleep, I’ll fix dinner later so you don’t have to worry.” Jungkook felt his heart warm, a fluttery feeling spread throughout his body.

He was undoubtedly the better cook between the two of you. He usually took it upon himself to fix dinner and sometimes even lunch if you were around. It’s not like you were horrible, it’s just the difference was that Jungkook liked to cook, and you did it because you had to. He would know certain spices, recipes, and would always add that ‘love’ to your dishes that had your eyes watering with how good they were. It was because of this that Jungkook took up cooking for the both of you pretty much every night. You would never hesitate though in taking up that duty whenever you were needed.

“Thank you~” He meant it. He really couldn’t ask for a better roommate.

And with that you were off to your room.

Jungkook quickly put his bowl in the sink before scurrying off to his room.

Only a little bit of light was shining in from the crack he put in his blackout curtains. The dim mood had him both sleepy and confused as hell.

His mind was busy playing the events of last light over and over again. Your moans were still echoing in his head clear as day.

This and the discussion he had with you had him realize just how horny he really was.

It really has been a little over a year since he’s even been touched in that way.

Maybe that’s why he was thinking about you so much, why last night he wanted to watch you, would have liked even better to help you. He needed someone badly because his best friend should not ever get mixed up in his sexual fantasies no matter how desperate he is.

This thought had Jungkook quickly shooting a text to Jimin about them hanging out tomorrow. He’s got to make this happen if he’s ever going to get you out of his head.

That’ll solve everything. He’s sure of it.

❛ ━━━━━━･❪ ❁ ❫ ･━━━━━━ ❜

“That’s your roommate?!” The loud exclamation seemed to reverberate throughout the spacious apartment.

Jungkook tried to shush him.

“And best friend, yes, yes she is.”

They had paused the game they were playing together when Jungkook finally brought up the question he came to ask. His hyung was quick to ask for a picture and Jungkook pulled up your latest post on your Insta.

Jimin looked at the phone and back at Jungkook, absolutely baffled. “Are you sure?”

Jungkook rolled his eyes.

He sighed, a little confused why that was so hard to believe, and switched to a picture of you two together. It was the day you went out to celebrate finals being over last year.

Jimin brought the phone way too close to his face tryna see if he saw any signs of editing. “Either this is the greatest prank ever or Jungkook your best friend is…” Jimin did that thing where he rubs his thumb over his nose and a giddy smirk couldn’t seem to leave his face.

“Double, triple yes to that double date thing.” He quickly agreed.

Jungkook noticed the way his heart seemed to do a tug of war. That weird feeling he’s been having ever since you suggested this plan was back, but he was happy this means that he is closer to the end of this madness.

While Jungkook was out of it, Jimin already had managed to get your Insta and switched to his phone so he could shamelessly stalk.

“You guys hang out a lot?” He questioned.

“Huh?” Jungkook snapped out of it.

“You’re in most of the pictures she posts.”

Jungkook smiled at that thought for some reason. “I mean yeah, we live together and we’re best friends.”

Jimin nodded.

He managed to scroll all the way down to a photo session you had when you and a friend went back to Busan for a beach trip. Jungkook felt his face warm at the sight of you in your simple black bikini, but his attention went more to Jimin who was enjoying the sight a little too much.

Jungkook snatched his phone.

“I’m right here.” Jungkook scoffed.

“I was just trying to find pictures where you weren’t in them.”

“But do you have to look at her like that?!” Jungkook didn’t even realize the words that came out of his mouth until Jimin’s face started to morph into something unreadable.

“Jungkook… Nothing ever happened between you two?” He finally questioned, sensing something suspicious was going on.

Jungkook shook his head, almost appalled that he even thought that.

That seemed to connect the dots in Jimin’s mind. “You sure you don’t like her or something?”

Jungkook felt his face heat up. “N-No-No, why would you even say that?” The accusation made him more flustered than it should.

“Jungkook I’m not an idiot, you guys spend so much time together so I’m sure you guys get along well, she’s very very pretty, I don’t see a reason why you wouldn’t like her…” To Jimin it honestly seemed more strange if he didn’t like you.

Jungkook turned toward the window, the city shining bright down below as the sun continued to go down. “We’re just friends.” His voice was static, but the words still affected him for some reason.

Jimin looked at him questionably “Right... so you’ve never liked her?”

Jungkook turned back to his hyung “No-Well, I mean…”

He leaned in intrigued. “That’s a yes, now tell me.”

Jungkook sighed. “I mean… Back in highschool—“

“HIGHSCHOOL?” Jimin nearly screamed.

Jungkook tried to shush him again. “I told you about how I moved right before my second year?”

Jimin nodded.

“Well it was when we were just getting to know each other. I’m pretty quiet so it was a little hard for me to make friends, but she was there and we got close and—“

“You caught feelings?” Jimin finished.

Jungkook nodded hesitantly

“And how long was this for?”

“When we moved in together. We had our separate lives so we weren’t as close as we used to be, plus I started dating Yoona around that time so–“

“Wait wait wait wait… so you liked her for 2 years?”

“More like a year and a few mont–“

“Jungkook I don’t care about specifics, that wasn’t just like a little crush that went away, you liked her for a long time.”

“It was highschool.”

“Highschool my ass, feelings are feelings. Now are you sure you don’t like her, or better yet, those feelings ever even went away in the first place?”

“Yes I’m sure.” Jungkook noticed the way his voice wavered. He didn’t expect that to come out like that…. it made him seem so unsure of himself.

“Ok then give me back my phone, I’m Insta stalking your cute friend or should I say my cute date~”

Jungkook hesitantly handed his hyung’s phone back.

A weird feeling buried deep somewhere spread throughout his body as he watched his friend oogle you.

He must be going insane…

❛ ━━━━━━･❪ ❁ ❫ ･━━━━━━ ❜

“Wait wait wait, you’re kidding?!” Eun Ae nearly screamed in the middle of the cafe.

You gave her an ugly stare telling her to be quiet.

“Sorry, but I never thought I had a chance with your “roommate.”” She sat back in her chair, amazed.

“What do you mean? You’re totally his type.” You said remembering the girls you’d see Jk hang around when you used to party together. “And what’s with the quotations? You know he’s my best friend.”

Eun Ae burst out laughing “I thought you guys were together or something if I’m being honest.”

Your heart did a flip. “Why’d you think that?”

Eun Ae put down her latte. “I see you guys leave together sometimes and I thought you were dating!” She rolled her eyes at your confused look “I see the way you look at him, I seriously thought you were in love.”

“I mean of course I like him, he’s my best friend, but nothing more ok.” You chuckled nervously.

“Hmmmmm, if you say so.” She looked like she didn’t believe you but decided not to push the subject anymore.

“Anyway we should go out and get some things for this weekend.” You smiled liking the idea of that, it really has been a while since you’ve been out.

“Yeah, I’m free tomorrow if that’s good with you.” You mentioned.

“Yeah that works for me.” She responded by taking a sip of her latte. “By the way, where did you get your necklace? It’s pretty.”

You looked down at the small heart shaped diamond and smiled. “Jungkook gave me it yesterday so I have no idea, I can ask for you though.” You saw your friend’s eyes widen.

“He gave that to you? On Valentine's Day?” She looked at you a little funny and it had your cheeks warming up.

“Yeah…”

You thought back to it. Jungkook had finally come out of his room later that evening after you told him dinner was ready. You were shocked to find him coming out with a velvet box in hand.

“It’s nothing too special, just wanted to give you something after all you’ve done for me.” He opened the box to reveal the little Diamond. You had to admit, your heart fluttered at the gesture.

Eun Ae just laughed. “And you’re sure there’s nothing going on between you two?”

“Yes.” Looking at it now, it did look pretty romantic. But no, this was Jungkook who gave this to you, he would never see you that way.

“And you’re sure Jungkook doesn’t like you?” Eun Ae asked, putting her hands on the table.

“Jungkook?” You just laughed. “No, I don’t think he’d ever be into me.”

“You don’t think? Maybe you’re just an idiot and can’t realize that her best friend is seriously crushing on her?!” Eun Ae practically yelled.

“Yah!” You tried shushing her, realizing people were starting to look over in your direction.

“I don’t know Y/n this is pretty suspicious if you ask me. But whatever, I’m still down for the double date. This still just seems like a bad idea but…” She raised her cup.

“To hoping we get lucky~” She smiled and you held your cup as well and clinked it together.

❛ ━━━━━━･❪ ❁ ❫ ･━━━━━━ ❜

The weekend came quicker than expected. It was weird, but Jungkook tried to get as excited as you were. He would see you happily bouncing around the apartment, counting down the days, but he wasn’t feeling the same way whatsoever. As the big day finally approached, the more that weird feeling seemed to get worse. He just wasn’t into it as much as you were, part of him wanted to tell you to cancel but he couldn’t ask that seeing how happy you were.

Instead he just tried to keep his eyes on the prize. Make it through the date, maybe get laid, it’s Sunday. He had no doubt in your pick, he knew this date wouldn’t be an absolute dumpster fire and hard to get through. You wouldn’t do that to him.

Why did he feel so weird? Maybe it’s just nerves about getting back out there? That became his next excuse he latched on to. It really had been a while. He wasn’t the most social guy so things like this can be a bit nerve racking.

That had been his mantra. You’re just nervous, you’ll have fun once you get there. Over and over again, he would try to tell himself, but that didn’t make it go away.

The day still came and he couldn’t escape the sinking feeling he felt as he drove over to Jimin’s apartment. You had decided it would be better if you would arrive separately, making the meeting an even bigger surprise once you all would make it to the club.

When his hyung made it downstairs, as he was getting in, Jungkook felt the strangest mix of emotions. He was nervous, extremely nervous, and that sinking feeling was there. Why couldn’t he be excited? At the very least this was still the first time he was getting out in a year. The only thing he could think about was you.

“Ooooo Jeon Jungkook. You clean up nice~” Jimin awed after he got settled into the car. This was also going to be the first time he was going out with Jimin. Jungkook would come over sometimes to mostly hang out at his place, but they never have gone anywhere together.

Jungkook looked down at his outfit. He was wearing a suit accented with thin sparkly stripes and a simple black button up tucked into his pants. He permed his long hair a few days ago and now it was filled with these loose curls. It was a look for sure.

Jungkook just laughed. “Y/n did most of this actually…” He cheesed remembering you pretty much took control the minute he questioned what he was going to wear.

His attention turned back to his hyung who was looking at him strangely.

“What?” Jungkook questioned.

“You got that look on your face…” Jimin pointed out.

“What look?”

“When you said her name, your face got all funny.”

Jungkook looked appalled by the statement. “What are you talking about?!”

“You were like, Y/n did this for me~~~” Jimin said in a mocking tone, exaggerating the smile he noticed. “What’s up with that?”

“Nothing! You’re the one making it a thing… I don’t even sound like that.” Jungkook mumbled, turning away.

Jimin just looked at him, and then turned away. “I still think this is a bad idea. You obviously like her.”

“…”

“Don’t even try and deny it, I’m not dumb.”

“I don’t.” Jungkook said calmly, but he sure didn’t feel that way. His palms were sweaty and all he could focus on was the way his body reacted when his hyung put so plainly that he liked her. He made it seem so easy, but that couldn’t be it.

You were his best friend. Any and all feelings were left far back in the past. He couldn’t like you. It was out of the question—

“Alright I’m not fighting you on this anymore. If you don’t want to see it then whatever, I’m enjoying tonight.” Jimin sighed.

That would be impossible. You were best friends, roommates, nothing more. Yes, he liked you in the past but that was then. You both have gone through life and over time he just didn’t feel the same way for you anymore. You were his best friend—

“Jungkook, are we gonna go? We’re already late…” Jimin finally asked, seeing the way he was just sitting there staring off into space. This finally got his attention and he started the car back up.

That feeling was just getting worse and worse the closer they got to the club. At this point he really was only going because of you. Everything in his body was telling him to drive back to the apartment and sleep away whatever’s got him feeling this way. Was he sick? Maybe that was it…

It wasn’t too far away from Jimin’s apartment and so they were pulling into the parking garage before he knew it. Too fast in his opinion.

It took them a little while to find a parking space, the garage filled to the brim with cars on each level. Jungkook could already tell the club was probably going to be packed today, but it was to be expected a week after the infamous holiday of love. So many new couples, new romances, new flings all celebrating the start of a brand new journey. Love was still in the air here in Itaewon.

As soon as Jungkook pulled in he noticed the giddy smile on his hyung’s face. In this moment he decided what he was feeling was envy. He wished he had the same excitement.

“You ready?” Jimin playfully slapped his arm. He was beaming.

“Ready as I’ll ever be.” Jungkook’s voice was shallow and monotone. The difference in energy was uncanny. You wouldn’t think they were going to the same place.

“Where are the girls?” Jimin questioned reaching in his back pocket.

“Y/n texted me and she said they were at the front waiting for us…” Jungkook’s attention turned to his hyung who had taken out his wallet, looking through its contents.

“ID… card… cash…” Jimin mumbled to himself, checking that he had everything. Jungkook was hardly paying any mind, too focused on trying to pep himself up for this date, until his eyes spotted the condom in one of the pockets.

Jungkook’s grip on the steering wheel tightened. That sinking feeling seemingly exploding to new heights.

“What’s up with you?” Jimin noticed the way Jungkook sighed and the way he wasn’t even looking at him anymore.

“Nothing… just hurry up please.”

“Ooo, is Jungkookie excited for his date?” Jimin tried to tease, but there was no laugh, not even a chuckle from the younger one. This was just getting depressing at this point.

“Jungkook. Are you sure you’re ok?” Jimin’s tone turned to concern.

“Yes, I told you I’m fine.”

“It doesn't take rocket science to see that you’re obviously not.”

“…”

“What’s wrong?”

“…”

“Is it Y/n?”

“I told you it’s not about her!” Jungkook’s voice was a little too high saying that.

“Then what is it then? You’ve been all mopey since you picked me up.”

“…”

“Jungkook…”

“I don’t know why I feel this way.” It was annoying, he was annoyed at himself. He was already ruining the fun and they haven’t even left the car yet.

“Hey.” Jungkook felt Jimin put his hand on his shoulder. He was surprised to see him look so serious.

“I know you’ve been through some rough times and this is the first time you’re going out in a while. Do you think it may be that?” Jimin was truly concerned at this point.

Jungkook sighed and looked out the window.

“I know I’ve been making jokes about you and Y/n but if this is really about you being out again…” Jimin’s eyes were full of worry as he started rubbing small circles across his back. “Is that what it is?”

“Maybe,” He was definitely nervous about doing this again, there was no doubt about that. “But don’t worry about me.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I just need to get used to being back. I’m pretty sure it’ll go away as soon as we get inside. You just focus on your date with Y/n. She’s been excited to meet you.” He tried to force a smile.

He noticed his hyung’s giddy smile at the thought. “She has?”

“Yes, now don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine. I’m sure I’ll have a good time.” He was trying to convince himself more than Jimin.

“Alright, but let us know if it gets to be too much.”

“Hyung…”

“Ok ok ok ok, let’s go! Didn’t you say we were late?” Jimin asked as he opened the car door. Jungkook took a deep breath before doing the same.

“Yeah we are. We should probably run or Y/n’s never going to forgive me.” And with that the two friends made their way out the garage building and across the street.

It only took his eyes a second of searching before he spotted you and your friend already in line to get in. Jungkook grabbed Jimin’s hand and pulled him to catch up with the both of you.

“Y/n!” Jungkook called out and your eyes immediately met with his. You smiled and waved them both over. By the time they made it to you, they were noticeably out of breath.

“You finally made it…” You sighed in relief. Your eyes trained on Jungkook checking over his outfit, noticing he put on what you picked out. He looked good, well good would be an understatement, but he wasn’t your date tonight.

Your eyes traveled over to the slightly shorter man who was standing right beside him. You smiled eagerly, silently thanking Jungkook, he knew your taste exactly.

His black hair was parted right down the middle, his long bangs cascading down his face and framing it perfect. Despite the cool chill of the February air, he wore black pants with a matching blazer held together only by a single button, a shirt underneath nowhere in sight. You even noticed the chain around his neck that continued down his body. If you didn’t know any better you would have sworn Jungkook’s friend was a Greek god or something.

While you were gawking at Jimin, Jungkook’s eyes were glued to your form. He hadn’t seen you get dressed before you left. You were wearing a simple, tight-fitted, red dress that showed off your curves perfectly. Jungkook could hardly remember the last time he had ever seen you this dressed up. He didn’t try to show it but he was shocked. You looked really good…

He certainly wasn’t the only one who thought so.

His eyes went to his hyung to see he was shamelessly checking you out, before happily smiling at you. He was already putting on that natrious Jimin charm. His gaze then went to yours who had that same giddy expression that for some reason made him want to punch a wall.

“Hi, nice to meet you~ I’m Y/n!” You extended your hand to the handsome stranger and he eagerly grabbed it.

“I’ve been excited to meet you beautiful~ I’m Jimin~” Jungkook felt his blood run cold at the nickname and the giggle you let out as a result. That wasn’t even funny, why were you laughing so hard?

Too caught up with his own thoughts, he was a bit shocked when he felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned around and in that moment Jungkook remembered why exactly they were here in the first place. This was a double date.

“Jungkook!” You came over and put your hand on your friend's shoulders. “Sorry I almost forgot, but this is Eun Ae and she’ll be your beautiful date tonight~” You smiled before returning back to Jimin’s side.

Just as he knew your taste you also certainly knew what he liked as well. She was absolutely beautiful. Her face was round, the curve of her nose accenting her features, the red tint to her lips lured him in. Her skin was like porcelain, contrasting perfectly with her long black hair and dark eyes that held a sultry gaze that made him shiver. Her body was decorated with a gorgeous short, silver dress wrapped around her curves, the back low hanging down her body, making his simple brain lose it at the slightest piece of exposed skin. She really was just stunning.

Maybe this really was exactly what he needed.

He never doubted you when it came to picking his date, but just seeing how on the nose you managed to get it had him feeling all funny inside. You both really knew each other so well.

“It’s nice to finally meet you. Y/n talks about you a lot.” Her voice was sweet and he liked it. Maybe this won’t be so bad, he could at least try and enjoy himself. But his growing hope dwindled when eyes traveled back over to you and Jimin who had his arm already wrapped around your waist. The two of you were already smiling, laughing, and the more he looked the more he wanted to leave and never come back.

It wasn’t too long after that the four of you made it inside of the club. As he predicted the place was indeed packed, wall to wall was just a sea of people drinking, dancing, having fun with each other. It brought back a lot of memories.

The times you would bring him out and you would party together. It feels like so long ago at this point. It was just yesterday you went to your first party as college students. He remembered how he watched you go crazy on the dance floor from the corner of the room. You had pestered him to dance with you, but he was shy and cared way too much what the sunbaes all around thought of him. That didn’t stop you though and he couldn’t stop the smile enveloping his face as he watched you and you watched him, still trying to get him to join you.

Jungkook shook himself out of the memory when he realized he had fallen behind the rest of the group.

All of you talked and quickly came up with a game plan for the night. You all would eat dinner together real quick, hit the dance floor later, and sometime after that you would split up your double date for some alone time.

With a little more waiting you all found yourselves in a circular booth, Jimin and Eun Ae got in first with you and Jungkook sitting next to them on the ends. You all ordered soon after.

“You didn’t want a drink?” Eun Ae asked after the waiter left. Jungkook just shook his head.

“This idiot thought it’d be a great idea to drive here.” You playfully teased.

“Yeah I meant to ask you why didn’t we just take an Uber or something?” Jimin questioned.

“What’s wrong with wanting to drive here?” Jungkook pouted and you instantly realized the reason.

“Ah I got it. You just wanted to show off your new car, didn’t you?!” You pointed your finger at him and knew the way he started getting all shy that you got it right on the nose. Everyone at the table started to laugh.

“I worked hard for it…” He tried to interject but everyone was too busy laughing to pay attention. He didn’t fight it though because as always you were right. After working many different part time jobs over the years, doing odd jobs for friends, and saving everything he ever earned, Jungkook was finally able to buy himself a pretty nice car a few weeks ago. A sleek black higher end Hyundai was what he got for the fruits of his labor.

What’s so bad about wanting to show off a little?

It wasn't the only reason though. Driving his car gave him an easy excuse to not have to drink. With a history as recent as his, he didn’t want to chance going back into that dark depressive hole that encompassed him for a few months. It’s not like he hasn’t had one since that time, but especially with how odd he’s been feeling these days, it was better not to chance it.

The last thing he needed anyway was to drink himself into a hole. He didn’t want to do anything stupid in front of everyone.

The waiter arrived soon with a plate full of brightly colored drinks and Jungkook’s club soda.

“So Jimin… I guess an easy first question… How do you and Jungkook know each other?” You were honestly curious.

“College. We were in the same psychology class his first year and we’ve been friends ever since.” Jimin smiled thinking back to the shy kid that came up to him all those years ago.

“Jungkook, you need to tell me about your friends more often.” You reached across the table and hit his hand. How dare he keep this beautiful man from you for almost 4 years?

“Look what happens…” Jungkook mumbled but there wasn’t any way anyone would be able to hear him with the loud music playing.

“Tell me about yourself then~” You turned back over to Jimin with doting eyes. Even in the dim light Jungkook could tell his hyung was already flustered.

Oh no.

“Uhhh well, I’m Park Jimin. I grew up in Busan just like you both. Um, I went to the same college as Jungkook. I was in the dance department though and—“

Jungkook felt a tap to his shoulder. “What about you Jungkook, what do you study?” Eun Ae asked which made his own cheeks flush. It wasn’t for the same reason as his hyung though.

“Film Production.” He answered back shyly.

“It was one of my last shows I did before I graduated that I was scouted for the show I’m currently doing.” He watched as you gleamed with excitement. That look on your face was exactly why he was embarrassed. Jimin was accomplished.

Not even 2 years since he graduated yet and the man’s already made a name for himself in the modern dance world. Jimin landed himself a great gig as soon as he was free from college. It was a big production that was directed by someone Jungkook remembers was enough to get his hyung to squeal when he found out that they wanted him to play the lead role.

There are billboards around Seoul with him and his dance partner, it was a really big show and he’s seen many of his classmates and many other people on various social medias talk about it. You could even say that it’s gone a little viral— a young, hot, talented lead dancer in this production. People were definitely going to tune in. The one show alone managed to get him enough attention that he doesn’t even need to worry about what happens when production ends. Jimin told him how he already had a long list of coordinators who were wanting to have him in their next show. He was definitely still up and coming but he’s captured the eyes of the people, experts in the field, and best of all, a variety of directors.

Jimin was accomplished, the most probably out of everyone graduating in his class. A few months ago he was even able to move into this really nice apartment, no roommate needed whatsoever.

Jimin ended up explaining this to you all and Jungkook felt that sinking feeling continued to grow more and more. He hated seeing that look in your eye or the way you subtly would move a little closer as he kept adding more and more impressive stuff to his list. Jungkook grabbed his cup a little tighter, taking a long swig.

Maybe he really shouldn’t have driven today, this wasn’t strong enough.

“Ahhh! I knew you looked familiar!” Eun Ae smiled. “It took me a minute to place your face but a few of my friends have seen your show! I wanna go see it now.” Now even his own date was getting swooned by the amazing Park Jimin.

How could he compete with that?

All he had to his name was his Hyundai and student loan debt. He suddenly regretted bringing him here.

Everyone’s eyes for the most part remained on Jimin even after their food got here. He continued to talk about his life, typical first date topics but Jimin was charming you and he knew that. You had that same stupid look that he remembers you had on your face whenever your ex was at the apartment.

Jungkook was hardly there to see it but there were moments he remembers coming home to the two of you in the living room, your eyes gleaming as he talked, that weird laugh you would do whenever he’d make a horrible joke, or the way your hands had a habit of resting on his thighs. All he’s come to realize were telltale signs that you were in fact down bad.

Jimin also had that same dopey look with you. You made sure to engage in any of the stories he would tell, adding your own anecdotes here and there before the conversation changed to be about you. You talked about your journey preparing for law school and Jimin had that same sparkle that you did in his eyes.

This was a match, Jungkook really nailed it with this one.

…

Sometimes Eun Ae would try and spark up a conversation with him, but usually they were all relatively short lived. It wasn’t like it was hard to talk to her, in fact it was quite the opposite. She would try and ask him general first date questions and a nice back and forth would get going. She would laugh and that would make him happy, he would as well sometimes. It was nice.

But somewhere in the middle his attention would always drift back over to you and Jimin. Eun Ae would notice and the conversation would die out before it hardly began. He hated it.

By the time everyone finished eating Jungkook wished for nothing more than to go home. The whole time that sinking feeling he’d hoped would go away only seemed to escalate further and further, this double date harder to get through than he could have imagined. He was too sober for this.

It was you who suggested that you take your party over to the dance floor. Popular songs everyone knew were playing as the four of you made your way to the rainbow colored floor. Couples, friends, and singles all were having a blast moving their bodies to the sounds of the music.

Your party made it through the thick crowd and managed to wedge yourselves in between everyone. You danced all together for a while, jumping around screaming the lyrics for any of the songs you guys knew. It was the first time Jungkook was fully able to enjoy himself, hoping this was finally the turn around he needed.

It was that same feeling he used to have whenever you dragged him to parties when you both were in your first year. He missed it so much. Spending time with you and actually enjoying himself at places like this.

That was until the DJ decided to switch it up. Instead of the fun, hype songs for everyone, the DJ announced that the next set was for all the new couples from Valentines Day. The songs transitioned perfectly, they were a little slower with very clear and obvious sexual undertones.

Oh no.

Jungkook watched as you smiled at him and Eun Ae before you decided to wrap your arms around Jimin’s neck. He wasn’t bothered by this at all and placed his hands on your hips. Even in the dim light he could see the flirty exchanges, the longing glances, and subtly touches.

Taking him out of his dazed stare was Eun Ae grabbing his hand asking to dance with him. He tried to smile and pulled her close, but his mind was elsewhere.

No… no he wasn’t gonna do this anymore.

Jungkook turned them around so he couldn’t face you and Jimin and turned his full attention to the beautiful lady who was his date tonight. This seemed to be just what he needed to focus.

The two of them talked, finally having an ongoing conversation. It was nice, very nice actually. Jungkook liked her, she was funny, pretty, so pretty actually. When the songs changed to slow dance he couldn’t help but pull her even closer. His arms were wrapped tightly her waist, his head buried in her shoulder. Jungkook was already planning the next time they might be able to meet each other. This is really all he needed, alone time, away from the others. He was happy.

But that didn’t last long.

All it took was one glance over to realize they had turned around. In Jungkook’s peripheral he saw you two… You were just inches away from each other, your faces so close he had to look twice to see if you were… your arms were wrapped tightly around his neck, your fingers gently running through his hair, and Jimin’s grip on your waist had lowered even further to grab at your ass. He saw red.

Jungkook felt sick.

He quickly apologized before running to the bathroom. His heart was practically jumping out his chest, his skin burned with fire. As soon as the door closed he headed straight to the sink to splash some cold water on his face, hoping to soothe whatever this horrible feeling was.

Jungkook looked at himself in the mirror. He couldn’t even recognize himself anymore. What was wrong with him? Was he actually sick?

Jungkook thought back to you and Jimin and it took everything in him to not throw something. It was obvious at this point he was upset at the sight but why? He couldn’t even explain it, he should be happy for you?! You were his best friend and you were clearly having a great time. Fuck he hated it. Why him? Why was it Jimin? He couldn’t stand seeing the two of you together. Just the thought of it had him balling up his fist.

Why was he so angry? Jungkook let out a loud sigh, not even caring who was in here with him. It hurt so much, that sinking feeling making him scrunch up his face tightly hoping he could just stop it.

How far was tonight going to go for you? Would you smile at him the same way that Jungkook knows lights up a whole room? Would you laugh at all his jokes, no matter if they’re not funny or not? Would you let him make your heart flutter, that feeling of excitement that always comes from a new romance? Jimin was a great guy, of course you probably fell into that trap. Would you let him kiss you? Your hands pulling him close to feel your sweet lips, a heated desire that you couldn’t allow to continue any longer.

He remembered the condom in his hyung’s wallet.

Would you let him touch you? Your fervent hands grappling, touching, pulling, needing to feel each other closer than ever. Would you let him make you cum tonight? Your desperate pleas on the verge of release, ready for him to relieve all that pent up tension from the past year.

Jungkook’s back hit the wall, the thoughts becoming overwhelming. This was his fault. All of this was his fault. If he wasn’t so pitiful last year you wouldn’t even be in this situation, you would probably still be happy with your boyfriend. You wouldn’t need to crave the touch of Jimin.

But he didn’t want that either.

Jungkook just wanted to go back to the way things were before. Just you and him.

At this point he considered leaving right now. How could he go back out there and see you out there with him? He couldn’t. But that wasn’t fair to you and it certainly wasn’t fair to Eun Ae.

Jungkook sluggishly made it back to the main area of the club, instead of going back to the dance floor he just took a seat at the bar, resting his head at the counter. It was probably a second before he felt a tap on his shoulder. It was Eun Ae.

She smiled at the shocked look on his face and went ahead and took a seat right next to him. It wasn’t long before you and Jimin were making their way over too. Jungkook hardly realized though, too focused on the way your hands were intertwined.

“I guess this would be a great time to split up?” You smiled at them and Jungkook felt sick all over again.

Eun Ae nodded. “You guys have fun~ We’ll just be over here.”

“Ok then…” Your gaze turned toward Jungkook. “Treat Eun Ae nice ok~”

Jungkook tried to smile and he nodded. He really should have just left.

“We’ll be at the other end of the bar, bye guys!” Jimin beamed pointed to the opposite end. Everyone said quick goodbyes before Jimin was leading you off for some alone time.

He hated this.

“Sooooo…” Eun Ae started, but Jungkook was hardly listening, his mind swirling with too many thoughts.

He didn’t even notice when she ordered herself a drink or when she tried having a conversation with him. Jungkook would try his best to focus but his eyes would drift over to you and Jimin at the end of the bar.

He felt a tape on his shoulder. It was Eun Ae again.

“Jungkook.” She sounded annoyed, her arms crossed. She had every right to be mad at him. “Is there something going on?”

“What are you talking about?”

“You’ve been looking at Y/n all night.” Eun Ae sounded less annoyed this time, in fact her grimmer turned into a smile. “It really isn’t hard to see that you like her.”

Jungkook felt his blood run cold.

“Ahhh I should have seen it coming, you guys are so close and a guy like you is never just single.” She sighed, taking a swig of her drink.

“I don’t like her.” Jungkook tried to say as dryly as he could. His words said one thing but his actions said another as his attention focused on the way Jimin took your hand and started leading you back into the sea of people.

Eun Ae laughed, it was a hardy laugh like it was the best joke she ever heard. “You’re joking right?” She was wiping her eyes, trying to calm herself down. But Jungkook looked like he was dead serious.

Her face fell.

“Do you think I’m dumb?” She playfully hit his arm. “Jungkook, you've been looking at her all night. I don’t mean to brag but…” she gestured over herself “I look amazing tonight yet you haven’t been able to take your eyes off her! I can’t blame you though…”

“We’re just friends, I’m serious.” Jungkook sounded so dejected. He surely felt that way.

“Oookkkk, well go over there and confess, change that right now!” She pointed in the direction you left with Jimin.

“But I can’t! I don’t like her like that, I can’t like her like that! She’s my best friend, that’s it.” Jungkook was a little too emotional in his words. Eun Ae just stared at him, accessing what the issue might be, but she finally realized the problem here.

“Alright. Ok. Jungkook, you know it’s ok to have feelings for your best friend right? It’s Y/n too, she’s beautiful, funny, smart, you guys are best friends for a reason. Why are you treating it like it’s the worst thing in the world…”

“I can’t lose her. Feelings make things complicated and the last thing I want to do is make things complicated with her.” Jungkook had no idea why he was spilling his guts right now. “But I really don’t like her like that so that doesn’t even matter…” He tried to save himself but Eun Ae was seeing right through it.

“I understand these things can be scary. I know you guys have been friends for years now, taking that leap can be difficult. But Jungkook, you can’t keep doing this to yourself. It’s hurting you… at some point there will be a ‘too late.’”

Too late…

Jungkook couldn’t resist at this point and ordered himself a shot of whiskey. It wasn’t enough whatsoever to get him drunk but he enjoyed the warmth as it went down his throat. He held his face in his hands as the reality of her words was starting to make things obvious.

Just imagining you and Jimin together made his heart ache so much it made it hard to breathe. As much as he tried to convince himself this was all a product of just being a little too close over the last year, he would actually have to be stupid to realize it wasn’t that.

But admitting it was a different challenge. Making it an issue he needed to address was terrifying.

He didn’t say anything. Eun Ae didn’t either but rubbed his back gently.

The revelation was horrifying. He was jealous, so so fucking jealous. Jimin had everything, but the one thing that was his Jimin had to come and take that too.

“I don’t… I can’t like her…”

“I don’t mean to be that person, but Jungkook… turn around.” Eun Ae pointed out. Jungkook turned around and it felt like his whole world ended.

You and Jimin were in the far distance, even in the dim light he could see your back against one of the pillars in the club, your arms wrapped around Jimin as he kissed you passionately.

In an instant he felt his heart shatter into two. It was like the end of his perfect world, the lie had come crumbling down and he was facing the consequences. You weren’t his, nothing about this scene was wrong, but the longer he looked the more his heart pounded in his chest. He wanted to scream, he wanted to cry, it was too much.

Without thinking Jungkook got up to his feet and looked at Eun Ae.

“I’m sorry—“

“Go! I’m rooting for you!” She cheered and Jungkook was pushing himself through the crowd.

He couldn’t think whatsoever, his heart being the one that carried his feet over to the two of you. Furry, anger, sadness, it hurt so bad. He could hardly breathe. Fuck, fuck, fuck, he can’t be too late?!

As he got closer the more he got sick. He could see the way Jimin eagerly ran his hands down your sides, grabbing anything you could, he could see the way your tongues danced around, the more detail the harder it was to look. If he didn’t get there soon he knew his hyung would be dragging you out of a club, inviting you back to his fancy apartment a few blocks away.

The thought had him speeding up as he made it up the stairs and behind the two of you. He pulled Jimin off of you as quickly as he could, an obvious agitation and roughness to his actions. Immediately Jimin turned around, a little shocked to find Jungkook there, but he could hardly process it before Jungkook was grabbing your wrist.

“What the–”

“Sorry, I need to talk to Y/n.” He didn’t elaborate at all and, maybe a little too roughly, started pulling you toward the exit in the back.

“Jungkook what the hell?” You were clearly mad at him and honestly you have every right to be, but Jungkook didn’t pay any attention and quickly led you to the doors at the back of the building.

He forced them open, the doors parting violently, as he led you down the ramp. Outside was an alleyway, a dim light over the door that would flicker occasionally, it being the only thing lighting up the area. The sounds of the loud music from the club faded as the doors shut behind you, but the violent booms of the bass in the music continued to bleed through the brick walls. No one was out here but the two of you.

“Jungkook?! Hello?!” You called out and he abruptly let go of your wrist. He started pacing back and forth, seemingly very distressed. “I don’t know if you noticed but I was clearly in the middle of something!” You said even more annoyed that he wasn’t saying anything.

Silence.

“Did something happen?” You asked a tad bit of concern in your voice this time, but all you got was more silence.

“Jungkook, talk to me please!” You begged, getting even more frustrated. He just dragged you away from Jimin for seemingly no reason and all you got was silence. You were pissed, you wanted him to say something… anything.

You didn’t know how the silence seemed to grow even louder.

You had enough of his games.

“Ok… If that’s how you wanna be then…” You were mad and you made sure he knew that.

You started heading for the ramp but a hand on your wrist pulled you back, suddenly your back was against the brick wall and Jungkook was closer than you remembered. A lot closer. His grip on your wrist was still tight and you both just stared at each other, your breathing heavy.

Your heart skipped a beat.

Jungkook didn’t give you much time to think about it because before you could process anything his lips were suddenly on yours. He didn’t know what he was doing, he didn’t know why he had brought you out here. You were with Jimin, but he didn’t want to think about that right now. Your lips were so soft and his entire body lit up with a fire he had never experienced in his life.

This was it, everyone was right.

The kiss didn’t last very long, he finally came to his senses to realize what he had done.

Jungkook pulled away slowly, waiting for you to push him away, waiting for you to scream, waiting for that look on your face that told him you’d be moving out the next day, but none of that happened. Jungkook saw the look of surprise on your face for a split second. He searched your eyes for any indication of what you were thinking, but you didn’t give him much time to look because you used your hands to pull his face to yours again.

Jungkook was shocked but was easily able to melt into it, him bringing a hand up to tilt your head so he could kiss you better. He had never felt like this before, the adrenaline was pumping through his veins making everything even more heightened. Your body, your lips, your hands, oh fuck your hands. They had moved to pull at the long strands that covered his head.

Jungkook knew at that moment he couldn’t be your friend ever again. He liked this way too much for that to be possible.

You were so good, so beautiful, how had he not seen that before? Why hadn’t he done this before?

Jungkook used his other hand to rest on your waist and pull your body closer. It just wasn’t enough, nothing was enough at this point, he wanted you so much closer.

Jungkook sent you further into the wall, needing a better angle. You both got more antsy, fevorant touches all over, your lips hastily moving together, the tension that’s been building for years finally… he’s finally…

Jungkook pushed you even further, the hand on your hip going to your thigh and traveling up your soft skin, pushing your dress further up your leg. He needed you now, the desperation becoming too much at this point.

Jungkook broke away from your lips to dive straight for your neck, planting hurried kisses along your burning skin. You gasped at the feeling and Jungkook ground into you at the sound. He wanted you to keep making pretty sounds for him.

He decided to suck a little harder this time and the moan you made had him hurriedly chasing his hips into yours as he moved back to quiet you and himself.

He could have cried at how much his body was screaming at him to have you.

Jungkook had zero regard for the fact they were still in this alleyway, he didn’t care whatsoever. All he wondered was how soon he could get inside you.

Fuck, fuck, fuck. Jungkook’s mind was hazy and the thing he could focus on was how nice your lips felt and how good it felt to rub himself along your thigh like this. You wouldn’t mind right? If he takes you right here and now…

Fuck, your lips, your skin, your body, so good, you were so good, so amazing. Everything happening and he just had to–

Before things progressed any further, both of your attentions turned back to the door that led to the club. A couple, smiling, laughing together, who were likely heading home walked out. You saw the way their smiles dropped when they quickly noticed they were interrupting something. They both tried not to make eye contact as they came down the ramp and headed down the alley. As they passed it was obvious they were talking about the two of you, them hushingly complaining about PDA these days.

Jungkook couldn’t even look at them, knowing what might have happened if they hadn’t interrupted. The awkward encounter didn’t sway him whatsoever though and as the couple made it out the alley, Jungkook turned to face you to see a pained expression on your face. The both of you knew what you wanted.

“Car?” Jungkook rushed out hurriedly and you nodded. You were about to make your dash for the car but you felt his hand pull you back and you looked at him confused. One glance behind you was all you needed to see to notice the very obvious problem that you had made.

Jungkook looked around, his face flushed, a sense of embarrassment clouding over him as he pulled you close. If you didn’t feel it before you certainly could now. It made you even more excited. “Don’t walk too far ahead…” He whispered and you got the picture.

As quickly as you could you made the dash across the street and up all the stairs to the parking garage. Somewhere in the back of his mind he silently thanked himself for bringing his car with him and laughing at anyone who decided to make fun of him for doing so. There wasn’t any way he was making it back to the apartment like this.

When you finally made it to the car he couldn’t resist and pushed you into the door. He kissed you hard, not being able to stand being away from you any longer. The little bit of extra privacy and desire to feel you made him bolder, quickly snaking his hand up your thigh and grabbing a handful of your ass.

“Jungkook—“ You whined way too loudly considering where, instantly having him chase his hips into you. He hurriedly picked you up, you wrapped your legs around his waist, as he leaned you against the door. The new angle allowed him to practically fuck you with your clothes on. Jungkook kissed you desperately, touching and grabbing everything he could, as he rutted into you.

Fuck, he needed you now.

“Jungkook— I need you so bad please—“ You whispered right in his ear. Your words triggered something primal inside of him. If he didn’t get you both inside soon, he wouldn’t give two shits anymore. He was fucking you on his car.

He felt like a fucking teenager all over again, you were literally right in front of the door.

Jungkook racked his cloudy brain trying to remember where he put his keys. At the same time, your lips started trailing down his neck. You quickly found a spot that instantly had him moaning for you, a particularly hard thrust assuring you that this was the spot. As soon as you figured it out, you kept going, kissing and sucking, getting such pretty whines to fall from his lips.

“If you keep doing that shit we’re not gonna make it into the car.” He groaned, so fucking tempted to just take you right now, like this.

Where the fuck did he put his keys?!

He haphazardly searched through his memories, trying to pinpoint when he had them last when it suddenly came to him. They were in his suit pocket. It couldn’t come soon enough that he reached his hand into it and just like he remembered, he managed to find the fob.

He hastily pulled it out and unlocked his car.

He sat you down and hurriedly opened the door. Jungkook climbed in the back seat and you went right in after, climbing straight onto his lap, and slamming the door behind you.

Jungkook just stared at you for a second, his mind unable to process the beauty that was in front of him. Oh fuck…

You didn’t give him too much time to admire and pulled him back into a kiss, this angle making it so you could easily grind yourself against him. The friction made the both of you moan out, your bodies brushing against each other in a rush to feel. He wanted so much more.

You broke away from the kiss and focused your attention on kissing his neck right on that spot, enjoying the soft sighs of pleasure he would let out as his grip on your waist tightened.

Jungkook was going to lose his mind. He tried to come back enough to pull your dress up back over your ass. His hands were quick to feel, making you groan softly.

That’s it. Foreplay was nice but it’s been so long and he needed to feel you now, his whole body screaming at him to take it up a notch. He wanted to feel you around him, make you his and his alone.

Jungkook hurriedly tugged at the thin strings of your thong. It took him a moment to remember the fact they were in his car, with how cramped it was back here, it would take you way too long to try and get them down your legs. Instead, he moved his hand and used his finger to gently massage your clothed bud, instantly earning him a gratifying moan from you as a reward.

You were already so wet for him, the lacy fabric soaked and he could have just died right there. You were enjoying this, you were enjoying his touch… Did you want him as much as he wanted you? Has your body been longing for him, waiting for this day to happen? His mind was fuzzy so he didn’t think about it too hard, but it just made him that much more eager to finally be inside you.

He got a little braver as he pushed your thong to the side, letting his fingers finally slide through the slickness of your folds.

“Jung–Jungkook, fuck please…” You begged, throwing your head back in pleasure. Maybe in other instances he would have been more inclined to tease you a little but he couldn’t be bothered with you begging for him like that. All he wanted was to please you.

Jungkook watched your face intently as he curled a finger into you, the both of you moaning out in the process. His whole body reacted, you were so warm, tight around him, so fucking good. If you felt this good around his finger just imagining you around his…

Jungkook couldn’t help rutting into you at the thought. Just wait till he fucks you…

He eagerly got to work, a finger in your hole while he used his thumb to rub circles around your clit. It wasn’t his best work since he didn’t have too much room to work with, but that didn’t matter whatsoever.

He marveled at the pretty sounds you would make, he could even feel your arms shaking as you held onto his shoulder. At this point he added another finger, hoping you could take him soo—

Oh my fucking gosh… In an instant he remembered a very important item he left in his drawer in his room.

He didn’t bring condoms.

They weren’t at all a top priority in his mind since he really didn’t think he was going to have sex tonight. He was so disheveled about the date there wasn’t any ounce of him that considered he could very well be having sex at any point, but fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. This was the worst possible time he could have forgotten to bring a condom.

Jungkook took out all his sexual frustration of the situation on you, turning it up the notch in making sure he can at least make you cum. He added another finger and his attention focused on your neck till he managed to find the sweet spot that got you to whimper for him.

You quickly used your hand to cover your month, the only one the tiniest bit aware of the fact that you were getting fingered in a public parking lot. But your efforts to keep quiet didn’t last for too long, Jungkook’s fingers brushing past the spot that made you practically a mess on top of him.

“There there please!” You tried to whisper but it was no use. Jungkook already knew he found it and you buried yourself in his suit jacket. You were going to scream at this point, your body on fire for a touch you’ve longed for for over a year.

“I wanna hear you…” He said it so softly you barely caught it with the way your mind was spinning.

“Fuck— but we’re in public,” you ended up moaning out. You were gonna cum soon at this rate.

Jungkook quickened up the pace of his fingers sliding in and out of your soaking pussy, this angle making it so he hit that spot over and over and— Your back arched instinctively and a moan you just couldn’t contain escaped your lips. He wasn’t going to let you be quiet.

A fire seemed to burn brighter and brighter inside you, your whole body tingling and ready. You were so close.

“Fuck fuck fuck, Jungkook please I’m so close!” You cried, throwing your head back. You didn’t care at all who heard you anymore, all you wanted was that sweet release.

Jungkook’s breathing became heavier as he watched you fall apart on his fingers. The feeling of your warm walls soaking his fingers and the beautiful moans you would let out had him spiraling out of control quicker and quicker. He wanted to fuck you so bad.

“Please—“ Your moans got louder. You were close and he knew that. Fuck, fuck, fuck, you were so close. His grip on your hips tightened and his hips hastily came up to meet nothing. Why did he have to forget condoms? He was moaning along with you. Fuck.

Fuck.

Fuck, fuc—

It will forever be ingrained into his memory, the time you came all over his fingers in the parking garage in front of the club. Every single detail. The way you looked him right in his eyes, that look as he saw you reached that sweet release, your moans stopping, the moment so overwhelming you couldn’t even scream. The feeling of the way your walls tightened around his fingers, soaked beyond belief at this point. The way his heart swelled because you were so fucking pretty like this. What made this even more memorable was the result.

Right in that moment he felt it too, hitting him like a freight train, his whole body shook as he felt that sweet release right along with you.

You both stared at each other, trying your best to come down from that high feeling. Your breathing was heavy but your body buzzed with excitement, you wanted to feel him, no, needed to feel him at this point.

You were about to reach down to grab at his belt but your attention focused on the way he hurriedly looked down between the two and back up at you with panicked eyes.

Confused, you looked down and you saw the issue. The only lights in the car were the little ones bleeding in from the neon signs outside, but the angle was just right for you to see the wet stain that painted his pants.

“I’m sorry! Fuck, I’m so sorry.” It was clear he was embarrassed, you were almost sure in the darkness you could see his cheeks turning a brighter shade of red by the second.

You couldn’t help but giggle.

“Don’t laugh!” He cried, getting more and more flustered.

“You’re so cute! No need to be embarrassed~” You tried to reassure, but you weren’t really helping.

“I don’t even know what happened…” Jungkook was in disbelief. This has never happened before and of course of all times it did it had to be with you, the girl he wanted to impress the most.

“Don’t worry about it, I’m serious Jungkook…”

“I know we couldn’t go all the way but fuck I just had to—“ He was ranting but you quickly interrupted, wondering what he meant by that.

“I forgot condoms…” He sighed, hating to admit the fact but was still shocked when he felt the light slap on his shoulder.

“How could you forget condoms? We literally went on dates today, it’s a date Jungkook, you always bring condoms on dates.” You were flabbergasted by this fact. You knew you should have helped him pack for the date as well.

The mention of the fact that you both were in fact still on dates with other people had an awkward tension arising and words that needed to be said became even more obvious.

You were about to say something but Jungkook shushed you.

“Not here, while I’m like this…” You knew what he was referring to so you just shut yourself up and moved off top of him. Jungkook’s eyes hung onto your form, a worried expression on your face, before he was pushing out the car door and getting out.

Jungkook tried to hurry and get to the door in front, as it was extremely obvious the minute he stepped out what the two of you were doing in his car. The stain on his dark gray suit was a dead giveaway, but your lipstick was smeared all over his face and neck, and you could even see faint marks of hickeys.

You resisted the urge to laugh as he struggled to get the door open. You were quick to follow him and got in on the passengers side.

“Uh— we should probably text Jimin and Eun Ae letting them know we’re leaving.” Jungkook pointed out and you felt horrible realizing you already forgot about them. You were actually terrible.

You and Jungkook sent quick texts to the friends you brought along and Jungkook was pulling out of the parking garage on the way back to your apartment.

Not a word was said to each other on the way over, the silence loud enough to leave your mind spiraling. What the actual fuck did you just do?

When you both made it back, you both still didn’t talk then, Jungkook immediately headed to the shower before you could even attempt to bring it up. Your mind was flooded and you ended up turning to what takes your mind off stress best and that’s cleaning, more specifically you decided now would be the perfect time to do laundry.

You just had sex with your best friend. You had sex with Jungkook?! Jeon motherfucking Jungkook. Your best friend.

You just crossed a line you knew you were never going to be able to come back from. That platonic barrier you tried your best to hide behind was gone and there was nothing you could do about it.

The fact you both haven’t even talked about what happened made you even more worried. Did he like you? Were you a desperate attempt at a quick fuck? Were you about to lose your best friend? Your mind was so clouded as you loaded clothes into the dryer, you didn’t notice when Jungkook came up right behind you.

“Hello?” Jungkook asked and you nearly screamed. Your body reacted on its own and you turned around to start swinging, or rather more so waving your arms around hoping it’d do something.

“Hey wait—“ He tried to say but you didn’t even process the fact it was just Jungkook until one of your swings actually did a little damage, a firm slap right across his chest was enough for him to cry out and you finally opened your eyes to see your friend right behind you.

“Oops” You mumbled already feeling that guilt start to creep up. But Jungkook didn’t look mad whatsoever, if anything he looked amused. He thought you were absolutely adorable.

Instead of saying anything about it though, he wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you into a hug, resting his head on your shoulder. “It’s me stupid…” He mumbled into your skin.

You couldn’t help but melt into his embrace, that fluttery feeling spreading all throughout your body. He was so warm and you enjoyed the sweet scents of his body wash. “You should have said something sooner..” You pointed out.

“I did, I kept calling your name but you didn’t hear me.” He retorted and it just made you feel worse.

Silence passed for a little while before you finally muttered “I’m sorry…” Jungkook didn’t say anything but pulled you tighter against him.

“What are you doing by the way?” He finally asked and let you go. You got back to working on getting the clothes in the dryer.

“Laundry, you know when I get stressed I start doing chores…” You muttered.

“I know that, but why are you so stressed?” He chuckled and you quickly turned around to face him again.

“Because you’re my best friend and you know what we just did in the back of your car! We just crossed a whole lot of lines and I’m confused—“ You were stern but your eyes couldn’t help but take in his appearance. His long hair was damp and still curly, a white shirt hung loosely around his frame and he had on those strange, bright blue shorts underneath.

He was absolutely breathtaking.

Jungkook sighed but leaned forward so his hands were back on the washer, caging you in. He was so close.

“I’m an idiot, I'm sorry…” He sighed as his eyes focused right on yours. You were intrigued, waiting for him to continue.

“This whole week I’ve just felt off, you know? Ever since you brought up you wanted to go on a double date… I tried to convince myself that it was all because of the fact that we were going out again after all this time. I knew deep down and apparently others did as well, that it was because I liked you…” His words made your heart do a backflip.

“I couldn’t accept it for a while because feelings are complicated and the last thing I wanted to do was make the relationship with the person who’s been by my side even during my worst times complicated. Losing you…” You noticed it, his eyes were a little glossy.

“I couldn’t lose you.” You could have just melted into the floor right there, trying to fight the tears that were threatening to spill over.

“But when I saw you and hyung together…” His eyes turned away. “I knew I couldn’t pretend anymore… I had to do something before it was too late.” He tried to smile but you could hear the pain in his voice.

“I’m sorry if I was too forward, I just had to do something before you walked away… I didn’t even ask how you feel…” He finally met your eyes once again and he was shocked to see your eyes filled with tears.

“How do I feel? You really are an idiot Jungkook…” You tried to laugh but you were getting choked up. He looked utterly confused.

“I’ve liked you since highschool! I spent all this time thinking you didn’t like me back. You never made a move back then, but then we came here and you got a girlfriend pretty quickly. I thought it must have been one-sided, you know? I started dating Incheol but when you came back… I had a little hope over the past year, but when you agreed to go on a double date, I thought it was finally time to give up.”

If Jungkook wasn’t so consumed in questioning his own feelings for you he would have noticed the signs. The way you meticulously analyzed his face when you suggested a double date, hoping he would hate the idea, or at the very least show some disdain to it. He would have noticed the way you slammed the door after he agreed to it and cried silently to yourself in your room at your silly feelings for your best friend. He would have noticed long before the event of Valentines weekend the look in your eyes whenever you spent time together. He would have guessed maybe he had something to do with you and Incheol breaking up. You tried to put on a brave face, at this point thinking Jungkook really didn’t see you that way.

“What…” His voice was small and he was just staring at you in shock.

“I think we’re both dumb—“ Jungkook hardly let you finish your sentence before he was pushing you against the washer and finally closing the distance.

The kiss was soft and nothing like what happened at the club. It was just pure passion that had years of negligence behind it. It was a little scary taking this step with Jungkook, you couldn’t lose him either, but you were glad that you were. Your heart was full and you wanted nothing more than to have him closer.

He lifted you on top of the washer, the angle allowing him to pull you closer.

Jungkook pulled away slowly, the pull of your lips way too enticing but he had something to say. His hand came up to caress your cheek softly before 3 words you’ll never forget left his mouth. “I love you.” His voice barely above a whisper but you heard it loud and clear.

“It’s probably too soon to say that but I just needed you to—“ You didn’t give him time to finish before you were pulling him back, kissing him hard.

“I love you too…” You probably could have cried in the moment but the words lit a fire in you and you needed him closer.

Your words sent Jungkook to a new level of insane, he needed to be inside you. You certainly felt it too, the nudging against your thigh made it obvious.

Jungkook broke the kiss, your breaths were heavy and he was eagerly playing with the hem of your dress. ”Y/n do you wanna—“ He didn't need to finish, you were already nodding your head.

You were suddenly lifted off the washer, laughing as Jungkook practically sped his way over to your room, kicking in the door and throwing you onto the bed.

You both giggled but the moment was not lost, Jungkook quickly climbing on top of you and finding your lips once again. You wrapped your arms around his neck pulling him closer, you needed him closer. Your body was on fire and all you wanted was to feel him.

Jungkook pulled away slowly, hand trailing down your body, and his eyes staring right into yours.

“You’re so beautiful…” His words were soft and had you melting on the inside.

“Jungkook…”

His eyes scanned over you once more. “We should have done this sooner…” He chuckled lightly, but he was serious. This whole evening wouldn’t have been necessary if he was just honest with himself sooner.

Jungkook started kissing you lightly down the neck making you gasp.

“We’re dumb, aren’t we?” You replied breathlessly as he started to suck a little harder. You moaned lightly, knowing this was likely gonna leave a mark.

“Extremely…” He was hardly paying attention anymore, his full attention now on making you feel good. He wanted to devour you, make you his and his alone.

Jungkook’s attention focused on your eyes as he started pulling your dress up. “Just think about it… instead of all this sexual frustration we could have been— oh.” You couldn’t even finish at the way he rutted into you.

“We’re so fucking stupid… I feel like I’m gonna explode…” He said bashfully.

“You did earlier...” You playfully teased and could stop yourself laughing at the way his mouth dropped.

“I hate you so much.” He mumbled, trying to feign being upset but you could see the smile on his face.

“Says the man who just confessed he loves me~” You giggled and at this he couldn’t help but laugh along with you. Jungkook sighed knowing it’s true.

You didn’t miss the way he started moving down your body, in between the commotion your body lighting up at what you knew he had in mind next.

He eventually got to the point he was staring right at your long ruined thong and took a shaky breath. He wanted to taste you so fucking bad.

Jungkook looked up at you. “Please?” He asked hurriedly and you nodded. With your permission he quickly pushed up your dress even further and tugged your panties down your legs.

“You’re so pretty.” He said absentmindedly, like you weren’t supposed to hear. You chuckled at his words making him look back up at you.

He flushed realizing he said that outloud but smiled because you did. His shy demeanor quickly shifted as you saw the mischievous glint in his eyes.

“Who were you imagining the other night?” Jungkook asked suddenly as he moved a finger through your slick folds.

“What are you talking about?” You questioned, but his finger now circling your clit had your mind elsewhere.

“That day I was working on my project. Valentine's Day.”

Silence passed for a little while until you suddenly sat up realizing what he was talking about. Jungkook laughed at the look on your face.

“You put too much faith in the walls, my desk is right on the other side.” Jungkook had a slight teasing tone to his voice, an adorable bunny expression on his face like he wasn't fingering you right now as he admitted to hearing you play with yourself.

You laid back down, embarrassment creeping up making your face hot.

“No need to be embarrassed.” Jungkook recounted back to the words you told him earlier. You just groaned, somehow that made it worse. Jungkook chuckled, but his attention turned toward what he was doing between your legs.

“I’m serious though. It was hot… really hot.” He smiled.

“Stopppp…” You cried, both in the way you still couldn’t even look at him, but also his finger started picking up the pace.

“You were the reason I was up all night trying to work on it.” He chuckled darkly. At this you finally peered down at him.

“You sounded so pretty, I wanted to come over and help you. I thought you would never be down for that but after tonight, I can’t help but wonder who it was you were thinking of to make you sound like that?” His face was just as innocent as it normally was, but his words were dangerous.

Your embarrassment in the situation faded immediately and instead a cocky grin spread across your face.

“Wouldn’t you like to know.” You laughed.

“Tell me.”

“Make me.” You retorted back quickly. You were playing with fire at this point but you wanted to see what he would do.

Your words were a challenge, a fire alighting inside.

His sweet smile disappeared as he turned back to your soaking pussy. He smirked and with that challenged head tilt he always did, he said nothing more as he dove straight between your legs. You hardly had any time to react before he was spreading your legs and taking one long lick between your folds.

Your body reacted on its own, a fire spreading throughout your body and a soft moan escaped your lips. You looked down at him a little shocked but you were a little surprised to find him looking up at you. You saw him smirk quickly before diving straight back then, this time with full intent on making you scream.

You never really knew what you pictured Jungkook to be like during sex. You never saw anything weird when he was dating Yoona and when you were still dating Incheol you and Jungkook hardly ever ran into each other. You were over at his place mainly, but you would occasionally come back to your shared apartment to hang out. You can still remember all the times you would be lying in bed awake to the sounds of girls moaning their hearts out in the room next door. It wasn’t the quiet guy who had been your friend since high school, but you knew whatever was happening next door was good.

You finally found out today what all the fuss was about.

Jungkook was skilled as he swirled his tongue around your clit. Your hands quickly found their place in his dark locks, your body being set ablaze at the pleasure.

“Oh fuck–” You whinned.

His movements got faster and the more you wanted. “Jungkook, please…” You pleaded.

He pulled back at your words and smiled. “Tell me then, who were you thinking of that night?” His fingers got back to work teasing your clit.

“Just forget that and make me– ohhh gosh.” You cried as he moved them to finger your clenching hole. With experience in the car he was quickly able to find the spot that had made you a mess so quickly for him.

You whined. “Jungkook, fuck, please.” You were practically begged, needing more.

“I said tell me.” His voice was calm as he looked at you already a mess for so little. The work of his one finger alone was enough to have you brushing against the edge. If anything it made it worse, you could almost taste the release.

He made sure to speed up the pace pushing over that same spot, maybe it was the drought that made you so sensitive, but you moaned, your back arching at the feeling.

“Tell me Y/N–” Jungkook said again.

“It was you!” You cried, you couldn’t play the game anymore. “It was you Jungkook!” You made sure to say it again so he heard. Suddenly he stopped. Confused and a little annoyed you looked down to see a stupid smile on his face, both in the fact that he won and you had thought of him like that.

It was just like this almost, him between your legs as he ate you out for hours, was the fantasy your brain had chosen to go with to try and soothe the ache between your legs.

“I can promise you I’m better in person.” Jungkook suddenly said and you just playfully rolled your eyes. He already proved that to be true.

“I’m sure you are, now get back to work, we’ve been deprived way too long for you to try and edge.” You giggled and he laughed at that.

“What’s wrong with taking our time a little? I like seeing you a mess for me.” He cheesed and your heart swelled. You loved him so much.

“Jungkook…” You warned and at this he finally took the hint and got back to work.

He eagerly went to add a second finger inside and his tongue was back to suck on your clit. The combination had that flame quickly returning. His fingers curled inside you and he made quick work of his tongue, not having any shame in making it messy. He groaned against you, an added pleasure he quickly could tell had an effect.

Jungkook thought you were absolutely beautiful, so pretty and all for him. The sight had him quickly reminded of the fact he didn’t get to finish the way he wanted to in the car and how much he wanted to fuck you. His hips unconsciously collided with your mattress trying to chase some sort of pleasure. It hurt at this point but his attention remained on you.

He saw you hastily pull down the straps of your dress to play with your tits, and one hand coming back to tangle in his hair. He felt the gentle tugs whenever it just felt so good and he could have died happy right there in that moment. Right between your thighs.

“Fuck, I’m so close–” You hastily cried out. Jungkook took the hint and took it up just a little more and it was more than enough to have you quickly spiraling toward the edge, your orgasm hitting you like a wave. Your body shook and your thighs clamped around his head. As you slowly came down from the experience he continued to devour you until you pushed him away slightly from overstimulation.

He finally sat up, his face wet from your juices and a big smile on his face. You smiled back at him. Your eyes though quickly went from his face to the obvious tent in his shorts. Jungkook didn’t give you much time to think about it before he was back on top of you and hastily kissing your lips.

If you didn’t see it before you definitely could feel it now, the tip nudging right where you wanted him making you even more eager to finally feel him against you. But you had other plans first…

You made quick work of flipping you both over, leaving you on top and in control. He looked at you a little confused before you kissed him on his cheek, making him smile.

“What are you doing?” He chuckled lightly as your kisses trailed back up to his lips. You kissed him with a heated passion, wanting him to know how much you loved him. Jungkook was quick to get in the groove, his hand coming up to cup your cheek and pull you closer while his other hand trailed down your back.

You finally felt him reach the hem of your dress and attempted to try and pull it back up but you pulled away and looked him right in the eye. If he wasn’t confused before he definitely was now.

You smiled at him and leaned so you were right next to his ear.

“Not yet, let me repay the favor first.” You whispered and gently took his ear between your teeth before moving to his neck and sucking on it lightly.

Jungkook was speechless for a little while, the pleasure your mouth was bringing made it hard to think, wanting to just get lost in the pleasure.

“I don’t know…” He eventually chuckled, the grip on your waist tightening. You finally moved to look at him again.

“What’s wrong?” You asked a little confused.

“Wanna fuck you so bad, plus… you looked too good while I was eating you out. I don’t know if I could make it.” His face was flushed, clearly embarrassed by the confession.

At this you smirked. Oh you were definitely going to repay him, not only for the orgasm but for teasing you earlier.

You let your hand travel down his body till it rested on the waistband of his shorts. “You sure you wanna say no?” You questioned playfully as you slipped your hand underneath grabbing a fistful of his length. Your antics got an immediate reaction from him, a moan quickly escaping his lips.

You made quick work and slowly pumped your hand slowly over his length, watching his face scrunch up in bliss. He was so fucking pretty.

“I–” He couldn’t even finish his sentence as your thumb traced circles over the tip, you could already feel the precum leaking from the tip.

“Y/n please…” he eventually cried out, making you smile.

“Do you want me to stop?” You asked teasingly.

“No, fuck– please.” He finally peered over at you and saw that teasing look, knowing this was probably because of earlier.

With the go ahead you moved down the bed, helping him pull his shorts down and tossing them somewhere around your room. The both of you giggled before you found a comfortable place right in front of his cock.

You stared marveling at what was in front you. His dick was already making your mouth water, the length, the girth, the slight curve, the tip was a flaming red, and precum sliding down the sides. Of course, what more should you have expected from him.

You wrapped a hand around him, right at the base. You wrapped your mouth around the tip, sucking it lightly, enjoying the delicious moan Jungkook let out as a result. You popped off quickly though, earning a groan of annoyance.

“What happened to no teasing?” He questioned breathlessly.

You just smiled at him before diving back again. You had every full intention of teasing him just a little longer, but you felt Jungkook’s hand on the back of your head, clearly intended to keep you in place.

Oh so he wants to play like that?

At this you finally started to take more of him, getting about halfway before you let your hand do the rest of the work at quickly pumping him. You felt him grab your hair tightly and you’ll never forget the way he whimpered, clearly not expecting you to do that.

It wasn’t long before he let go and you popped off with a smile. You won this time.

“Y/n please.” No playfulness to his voice anymore, he was begging you.

You couldn’t resist and you got back to work. You grabbed him again and pumped him quickly and got to work gently massaging his balls. At this you instantly had his arm coming over his eyes, a long groan falling from his lips.

“Y/n oh fuck, fuck fu–” He was so fucking sensitive.

He hadn’t been touched in a year, plus your little rendezvous in the car, and now here you were going down on him. Every little flick of your tongue or jerk from your hand had him speeding toward the edge, but he still wanted to take you.

Your mouth came around him length once more, doing your best to make him feel good. Jungkook couldn’t resist looking, he finally glanced down at you and moaned instantly. You were taking him so well– fuck fuck.

“Y/n…” He finally moaned. You could already sense what he was about to say. At this you sped up your pace.

“Oh fuck, you feel so good– but– ohhhh” He cried, his hand coming up to grab at your hair again.

“If you keep doing that I’m gonna–” He could have cried. The image of just cumming down your throat made him want to let you continue.

He was so close.

“Y/n I’m gonna cum…” He sighed, honestly a little embarrassed at how sensitive he was but you were just too good.

His words didn’t sway you and if anything you upped it a little more.

“Shit wait wait!” For a second he thought he wouldn’t even be able to tell you to stop, his orgasm so fucking close for a spilt second he wanted it to happen, but right along that edge you popped off and took your hands away.

His body cried out at the lack of contact and he had to take a second to get himself to calm down. When his attention finally went to you, smiling up at him.

He couldn’t even joke around at that moment and sat up to pull you up so you were hovering over his cock.

“Please…” He was breathless and his desperation was starting to affect you. You pulled down the zipper on your dress and pulled it over your form, you also saw Jungkook hastily ripping off his white shirt and throwing it across the room.

He grabbed your hips and attempted to try and guide you down but you stopped him. He looked at you confused

“Condoms, remember?” You laughed and he did as well realizing his mistake.

“Please hurry…” He whined playfully, watching you reach over to your nightstand, shuffle through its contents, before pulling your hand out empty handed. He was once again confused.

You stared at him in horror and it had him instantly wanting to commit a crime. “You don’t have any?” He asked in disbelief. You just stared at him.

He tugged on his hair in frustration. “Do you think that the convenience store down the street is still open?” He was trying to come up with some sort of solution. “I don’t even know if there are any in my room, do you think we can find some at this time of night, fuck fuck, why does this keep–” As he was trying to find a way at of this predicament you went back in your drawer and pulled out what he’s needed this entire evening.

“Just kidding~” You cheesed, watching the look on his face. If he wasn’t so horny right now he might have tackled you, but instead he laughed at your antics and he playfully rolled his eyes as gestured for you to put it on.

You ripped open the packaging with your teeth and hurriedly slid it down his length. He was so sensitive from earlier he made it difficult trying to put it on, bucking himself into your hand in search of any type of friction.

Once you managed to get it on, you wasted no time and lined yourself up before sinking slowly down his dick, enjoying the way he filled you up.

You both moaned at the feeling. Jungkook hurriedly grabbed your hips at the pleasure. You were so warm, wet, and tight around him, you felt so good and looked so pretty on top of him like this. Oh this isn’t gonna last long.

You sat there for a second, allowing your body to get adjusted but you could tell Jungkook was antsy at the way he subtly ground himself into you for some sort of friction.

“Y/n– fuck, you’re so–” He cried and you chuckled at his reaction.

“Does it feel good?” You asked.

Jungkook just smiled at first, wondering how that was even a question at first. “So go– engghhh fuck…” He sighed as you slowly started to move your hips. You watched him intently as his face scrunched up and you felt the way his grip on your waist tightened.

With new motivation you finally allowed yourself to get lost in the pleasure and just enjoyed the way he felt inside of you, steadily speeding up your pace.

Jungkook just stared up at you. Ever since he met you he never would have imagined himself in this position, you on top while you worked to please him so well. Yesterday he was so adamant he felt nothing but platonic feelings for you and today… He had spent so much time trying to lie to himself, if only he had been honest with himself from the get go you could have done this so much sooner.

His heart swelled at the thought. He was so stupid. How could he have tried to tell himself he didn’t want this? You bouncing yourself happily on his cock, looking so pretty while you took him so well. Fuck, he was so happy.

With the way you teased him earlier it didn’t take very much for him to feel that ache once again. Jungkook grabbed your hips and took control, he watched your face turn to one of shock before you melted into the new pace he was setting.

You moaned and he could have sworn he’s never heard such a beautiful sound. He wanted to please you, make you feel good, and in a weird way, repay you for all you’ve done for him.

“Jungkook, shit, hghhh–” You cried.

Fuck he was close.

Before you even knew what was happening, suddenly you were on your back, staring Jungkook right in the eye.

He was quick to set a punishing pace, you could have screamed at the sudden pleasure. Jungkook buried himself in your neck and you could hear all the little grunts and moans he would let out and it was almost too much. So good, you were getting close.

Jungkook could certainly tell, the feeling of your walls gripping him even tighter– fuck. He couldn’t take it anymore. He kissed you sloppily, wanted to feel you even closer. You wrapped your arms around his neck moaning into the kiss, sensing what was happening.

It didn’t take much time till he was pulling away and burying his head back in your shoulder, a glorious moan spilling from his lips. A wave of pleasure washed over him as you felt his hips still and his whole body shake lightly.

You rubbed his back softly as you helped him work through it.

You thought this was the end of your game, but you were shocked. Jungkook immediately turned to your nightstand, opening up and shuffling through the top drawer.

“What are you doing?” You asked breathlessly.

It was almost immediately that you got your answer when he pulled out another condom. “I’m not done with you yet.” He said as ripped open the packaging with his teeth.

You were left stunned as you watched him swiftly throw away the used condom and put on a new one, before quickly pushing himself back inside you once more.

You saw the way his face scrunched up, likely at the pain of overstimulation. His pace was slow, but he continued with deep strokes that made it so he was hitting your clit each and every time, making your toes curl.

Oh so he was a freak?

For some reason you knew this wasn’t the first time he’s done this. You should have known the way he nearly fucked you out in public in that parking garage.

Jungkook’s full intention was to make you feel good. He was quick to get back at a moderate pace and then he turned his attention to kissing and sucking on your neck, making sure it was going to leave a mark.

As much as he wanted to pretend that the rage he felt in the club watching you and Jimin together was far in the past, now that everything was all said, it fueled him even more to want to tell everyone that you were his and his alone.

And just to think, if things didn’t go the way they did his hyung would have probably been in this position… Just the thought of him seeing you like this pissed him off more than it should.

He wanted to prove himself, that you made the right choice.

Jungkook was eager to make you cum around him, he needed to feel it. The breathy moans you would let out motivated him, you were so fucking pretty.

Jungkook looked you right in the eyes as he fucked you. Oh you were close.

“I love you.” He moaned quietly. Oh you were a mess, three little words were enough to send you to another dimension.

“You feel so fucking good and all fucking mine.” Jungkook groaned, fucking you a little faster.

For some reason Jungkook getting all possessive while he’s buried deep inside you was so hot, the feeling in the pit of your stomach growing more restless.

“Jungkook, please, I’m so close.” You cried.

The pleasurable sting from overstimulation made that fleeting feeling return all too soon for Jungkook as well so he made quick work of finally pushing the both of you over the edge.

“I love you too, Jungkook, love you so much.” Jungkook had no idea if you said that just because you were close, but the confession was enough for his orgasm to come crashing over him, not once did he slow down though, if anything he went a little faster.

His efforts were enough as with just a few more strokes you moaned and he was feeling your walls tightening around him. He watched intently, now with the better light, he saw the way you crumbled in his grasp, so pretty as your third orgasm of the day hit you even harder.

For a little while, it was just the sound of your labored breaths as you both tried to recover from everything. It was peaceful, almost like the calm after a storm. After the exhausting year you’ve both had, it finally led to this moment, together in each other's arms at last. When you both calmed down, Jungkook smiled as he kissed you gently, you couldn’t be happier.

He was quick to throw away the condom and snuggle up next to you. A moment of silence passed before you both giggled.

“This day was something…” You smiled.

“It was, wasn’t it.” Jungkook responded absentmindedly, too busy tracing your features with his gaze.

You both still didn’t say anything for a while, choosing to let the events of today speak for you. Jungkook was just so enamored by you, happy that everything finally made sense, happy that he was able to be with you like this. For some reason it had his mind going back to the previous year.

The newly revealed sentiment of how much you truly cared for each other made him think back to the dark days and how you helped him through it all. Without you, would he really be here today? You really were there for him, never once asking any questions. As soon as he told you he was struggling, you never left his side and helped him navigate through the path that seemed so endless.

Even to this day he never really explained himself and you never asked what happened.

“Hey Y/n.” He finally said, getting you attention. “Last year… I don’t think I ever told you what I was really going through during those months, did I?” He asked suddenly.

You were a bit taken aback by the question but you answered nonetheless. “Not in much detail.” You noticed his gaze changed from you to peer straight up at the ceiling.

He took a deep breath. “I want to tell you what happened...” It only seemed right, before you take this next step in your relationship, all the cards from his past he kept hidden from you should be laid on the table for you to see.

He was scared though. Would you still want him after he tells you?

“Is that ok?” He turned back to you, his gaze unreadable.

You couldn’t lie and say you weren’t curious. On the day Jungkook told you he had been struggling you knew he was keeping the details as vague as he possibly could, for a reason you had no idea about. You didn’t want to pry, you knew that he had gone through a lot over the last few months so you were content with him telling you anything. All you knew was your friend needed help and you were going to be there for him through that process.

“If you’re comfortable telling me, I’ll be here to listen,” you settled with saying.

Jungkook noticed the look in your eyes that told him it was truly fine for him to continue.

Would you hate him, ridicule him, shame him? All of these were outcomes he wanted to avoid. It’s why he didn’t tell you back then. He was ashamed of himself.

“At the end of our first semester as you know Yoona and I had a big fight. It all had to deal with you, funny enough. She was upset at how close we were, the fact that we lived together, and that she thought I could have been cheating on her with you. At the time I was upset that she even thought that was a possibility, I was with her, you were my friend and that was it.” Jungkook had to pause for a second knowing the irony of the situation.

You couldn’t hide the look of shock on your face at the information. You thought you were just so drunk that you had somehow heard your name come up in conversation. It had been about you entirely. It stung a bit to know that you had gotten in the way of their relationship like that, but the one detail you did know about this story made that guilt dissipate quickly.

“We said some pretty hurtful things to each other, with her eventually leaving and that’s when you came in. I really liked her at the time so I wanted to do my best to try and repair the damage that had been done, but when I saw her… when I went to her apartment and saw she was actually cheating on me, it really really hurt.” Jungkook didn’t even have the words to describe how much pain the revelation brought him. For a while he blamed himself, that he was such an awful boyfriend, an awful person, that it led a girl he would have never in a million years thought would ever do something like that to him, to anybody really. It only made the next unfortunate event even harder to bear.

“I can only say this now in hindsight, but I didn’t understand at the time how much I relied on her. My mental health wasn’t the best for various reasons, a difficult semester taking its toll, life, I don’t really know the root cause but as soon as I knew she was cheating on me, it all came crashing down harder than I thought it ever could. I shut everyone out, it was too much, but if it couldn’t get any worse I got a phone call from my dad about my uncle.” You could hear the slight quiver in his voice, just at the mention of it.

You remember the exact moment it happened. You had just woken up. You had been in the kitchen trying to figure out what to have before you head out to your first class. It was nearly the end of the final semester, finals were coming up and you had a whole day of studying planned. Despite your packed schedule, you had also wanted to have enough time to try and be there for Jungkook since he had just gone through a pretty rough breakup, you having gone to bed early as a result. It’s probably why you didn’t hear when he got the phone call late the night before.

You had been making a little breakfast when he suddenly came bursting through his room door, a duffle bag slung over his shoulder. You noticed immediately he looked frantic, his face was red, and you could see his cheeks were still stained from tears. He looked like he hadn’t slept all night.

Jungkook ran straight to the door, but you stopped him concerned and a little confused about what was happening.

He was barely able to explain to you that his uncle had been in an accident and that he was going back to Busan, tears just were streaming down his face. Without thinking you had pulled him into a hug, Jungkook completely just broke down in your arms.

He was out the door before you truly could say goodbye.

“I went back to Busan and tried my best to process everything, hoping that this sinking feeling would pass and I could get back to some level of normalcy. Weeks started to go by and all I could feel was nothing. I didn’t cry anymore, I wasn’t angry, nor was I ever truly happy, it was just gray everywhere I looked.”

“Christmas came and went and the new year started. All of those holidays only made it worse, seeing how happy friends and other family were, the fact that it was just nothing made me even more desperate for anything.”

Jungkook had to stop again, knowing what was coming next.

“It was around the time we were supposed to start heading back for the spring semester that some friends had called me and asked to meet up. We talked and I ended up telling them things have been hard lately so they invited me to a party to try and cheer me up. I was desperate so I said I’d be there, hoping it might help me feel anything. I drank a lot, tried to have fun, but again things just became worse when nothing helped.”

He couldn’t even look at you anymore.

“They invited me to another one, this time I thought maybe sex might help, it didn’t, not at all and left me feeling more empty than ever. It was sometime after this that I started having some pretty scary thoughts bouncing around my head.” It truly had gotten so bad so quickly. The depression had quickly consumed him and any effort he made to try and make things better only seemed to make things worse. He felt trapped, that there was no way out of this hole.

“I was desperate for anything at that point so when those same friends called and asked to meet up again… this time… this time they offered certain um… illegal substances. I should have said no, I know, but I was looking for anything to make it better so…” For some reason Jungkook was waiting for you to say something, to scream at him, anything, but you remained silent as his words hung in the air.

He didn’t have the courage to face you to see your expression. Instead he kept going.

“It wasn’t perfect, but for a little while I finally felt ok, better than ok even, but the crash was horrible and I felt the regret starting to take hold. It was only once when I was in Busan, but by then the semester had started and I needed to get back. That’s when I came back to the apartment. I wanted to tell you everything but then you opened the door and I saw Incheol with you… I didn’t understand why at the time, but seeing you with him… It made me so angry so I just shut everyone out.”

“Before I left my friends gave me the number of a friend they had in Seoul who carried and so instead of focusing on my work that I should have I turned to chasing that high and dealing with an even worse low. I stayed out as much as I could, I didn’t want to see you with Incheol, plus I was ashamed what would happen if you saw me like that. I didn’t want you to see me like that.” Your eyes were teary and his was as well, a couple had even begun sliding down his cheeks.

“Jimin hyung saw the worst of it actually. Too many times would I head over on something and he would yell at me but he would always help me through it. I was also at his place a lot dealing with sober thoughts and he kept my mind occupied so I wouldn’t do anything rash.”

“It wasn’t until that day I got the message from my advisor telling me how bad everything was that I snapped out of it enough to try and look for help. That’s when I told you. Besides the work you helped with, you were just being there for me without asking too many questions… It was more sympathy I deserved considering how weird things had been since I left. You brought me back and I can never be more grateful.” It was only then that Jungkook finally looked over at you, your face was stained with tears and you were trying your best not to make too much noise so you didn’t disturb his story.

“I mentioned this now because being here… I should have known after all that what I felt for you was more than just being my best friend. I didn’t want to lose you so I tried to push away the obvious and tried to just keep being just your friend. I’m so happy I can be here with you now, like this, together. And I wanted to thank you for the millionth time, you pulled me out of a dark place that I never thought I was going to come back from. I’m just so happy.” He tried to chuckle but seeing you crying made this difficult discussion that much more emotional.

It felt so good telling you.

You quickly pulled him into a hug, finally letting the emotions spill over.

“I wish I was there for you more, you struggled so much I– I–” You sobbed, absolutely heartbroken that he went through this. “If only I had noticed, if I wasn’t so focused on Incheol I could have–”

“Don’t say that. You were happy, I didn’t want to burden you with my problems.” Jungkook said, trying to wipe away your tears.

“Burden?! Jungkook, I was your friend, don’t think you would ever burden me.” You sobbed, the tears continuing to stream down your face, making more and more go down his as well.

“Fuck, I love you so much, of course you would say that.” There were no words in any language to accurately describe how much he cares for you and how he will eternally be grateful for being there with him.

You both smiled and Jungkook reached over to grab some tissues to wipe your faces. You both tried to make light of the situation and giggle at how messed up you truly were. Between the sex and now the crying your makeup had smeered all over your face.

“Jungkook, truly though. If you ever go through any sort of hard time again know I’ll be here for you ok.” You reassured him.

“If you ever go through a rough time, I’ll be here for you and then some.” He smiled.

“Don’t be afraid to lean on me, life gets hard but at least we have each other.” You leaned in to kiss his cheek, but he moved to make sure you hit his lips instead.

You both laughed, but quickly went back in for another.

“You actually can’t get rid of me.” Jungkook giggled as he started peppering kisses all over your face.

“And I don’t want to.” It was just love, you loved this man.

“By the way, I wanted to ask whose room should we stay in? Should we just get a new apartment?” Jungkook questioned, kissing down your neck.

You thought about it for a second.

“We could move after graduation. We could figure something out so that it’s a little closer to my law school, or maybe something closer to your job, whichever one you decide to take.”

Jungkook was pretty talented in his field, over the years managing to work as assistants for camera operators and editors in movies and various kdramas. He already had a promising resume. He worked a ton of jobs, did various commissions for friends, peers, even his school had him shoot something. He also was working some type of internship most of the time, the only time you can remember him not working was when he was going through that hard time.

It was certainly going to be impressive to the production companies. With all the jobs he applied for, Jungkook’s professors and advisor assured him that he was bound at least to make it to the interview stage and was probably going to end up with multiple offers.

His achievements were certainly amazing, but he had a tendency to downplay them.

Jungkook nodded, the plan made sense. “For now though, you could move to my room. It’s a little bigger, maybe you could keep your clothes in your closet, but you could sleep here most of the time if you want.” You added. He just nodded along, until his brain actually processed what you were saying.

“What, aren’t our rooms the same size?” He recounted what you told him all those years ago once you decided to move here.

You cringed at the mention of that. “5 extra square feet makes you do some crazy things.” You chuckled weakly.

“Yah wait– what did you just say?!”

“You never noticed!” You tried to defend but it was too late and he was already tackling you back down to the bed.

Was he mad, not at all, if anything this was just an excuse to get you in this position. It’s strange what a year does to your libido. He couldn’t get enough of you.

Jungkook kissed you all over your face and neck, making you laugh at the way it tickled.

“I love you.” He said between kisses.

“I love you too.” You made sure to look him in the eyes when he said it. You wanted him to know how much you meant it.

You were so happy.

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whatsk-poppinhomies · 10 months

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Pairing : (College AU)non!idol!Kim Seungmin x F!Reader TW : established relationship ; bullying ; depression ; attempted su*c*de ; major angst ; is it considered fluffy at the end or more yandere the way that Seungmin acts at the end??? ; let me know!!! Word Count : 4.6k Request : Anon : depressed reader gets actively bullied and bruised which leads to a suicide attempt. seungmin never thought it was that serious once she brought it up to him. but after her failed attempt he is now extra careful with her and maybe a bit mad at himself for not taking it seriously. A/N : PLEASE READ THE TRIGGER WARNINGS BEFORE CLICKING READ MORE!! To the anon that requested this, I hope you're still here and you remember sending this in! I'm finally posting it!! I hope you enjoy it! The gif came from this blog!!

It rained again today… It seemed like everyone on campus knew that the storm was coming, everyone but you. Umbrellas were pushed open all around you as you quickly put your hood up, the downpour was torrential and you were soaked within the first minute of your walk back to your dorms. It didn’t help that people seemed to be purposely angling their umbrellas so that whenever you walked by, the rain from the top would pour onto your head.

You’re overthinking it… There’s no reason anyone would purposely do something like that to you. You don’t deserve that. Is what everyone else would say, even your boyfriend… And you would have believed them if not for the insults that were constantly hurled in your direction and the scrapes and bruises that littered your knees and elbows from being pushed around and laughed at when you fell to the ground. You didn’t believe them… And they didn’t believe you.

By the time you got to your building you were dripping wet, but the attacks wouldn’t stop until you were behind closed doors, in the safety of your room, at least for the next couple hours until the next day started and you got to go through it all over again. That was your life, a constant repeat of the day before, and you weren’t sure how much more of it you could take.

As soon as you walked through the front door of your building you heard it, the laughter of the girls who seemed to make it their job to make sure your life was hell. You weren’t sure what you had done to make them hate you so much, you had never even talked to them, but they still decided to target you.

“God, look at the shit they let live in the building with us.” One of them said, although you sure it was the main girl talking. Every clique had a leader, and it was obvious that she was the leader of the group. Everyone else just decided to follow along, and maybe it was because they were scared of being on the receiving end of the girls shit. You were done being scared though, you had simply become numb to it. “What should we do? She looks like a fucking sewer rat, dripping shit all over the entrance. Disgusting.”

You couldn’t walk fast enough, and even if you tried to, you were sure that she’d catch up. She was following right behind you, and before you could even get your foot on the first step, you were being pushed, your knee cracking loudly as it hit the edge of the stair. You didn’t make a sound, you didn’t wince, you didn’t cry, you just got back up, trying your best to focus on anything but the pain that shot through your leg as you continued walking up the stairs.

“Now she’s an injured rat, maybe she should just put herself out of her misery. It’s not like anyone wants her here anyway.” They all laughed, like your pain and your suffering was entertainment for all of them. Maybe they were just bored… It’s not like you could do anything about it. If you said anything, it would only make things worse and no one would ever believe you… You were nobody… There wasn’t a single person who would notice if you were gone.

“I’ll be back tomorrow morning if you want to go out and get breakfast together before class.” Seungmins voice came through the speaker of your phone as it sat on the bed. You hummed softly, not in agreement, not in disagreement either though. It was a sound only to let him know that you were there, that you were still listening. “Did you bring your umbrella with you today? It was raining really bad.”

You hummed again, once again becoming aware of just how wet you were, your clothes soaking through to the mattress that you were sitting on. “Yeah… I’m gonna take a shower and then a nap… I’ve got a lot of studying to do… Want to be well rested.” You muttered, your voice almost robotic, but he didn’t pick up on it, or maybe he did and he just decided to ignore it.

“Alright. Don’t study too hard. I’ll see you in the morning, I’ll pick you up.” His voice was as cheerful as usual, not a care in the world… and why would he have one? He didn’t go through what you did. He didn’t know what it was like, and he refused to believe that it happened to you… In his eyes, everything was perfect. Nothing was ever wrong because it didn’t hurt him… not personally at least.

That’s how it always was… He either didn’t want to believe that such horrible people existed, or he just blew it off, assuming that you were making it seem worse than it actually was. That’s why you didn’t even tell him anymore. You were tired of wasting your breath, trying to call out for help, trying to get him to listen to you and be there for you. It was all pointless. Nothing would ever change… Not for you, not unless you did something… You were the only person who could help yourself.

Your roommate wasn’t back yet, she was always out late studying. It was the perfect opportunity, the perfect time. No one would ever know, and by the time they did, it would be too late. You weren’t going to continue being tortured, you shouldn’t have to continue suffering just to make other people's lives easier, to give them their daily dose of entertainment. You shouldn’t have to go through hell just so someone’s perfect view of the world wasn’t soiled.

Your phone was left on the bed as you went to the bathroom, shutting the door behind you and taking a deep breath. It would be over soon, it would all be over soon. It’s not like anyone wants you here anyway… Those words repeated over and over in your mind as you dug through the cabinet under the sink, pulling out the razors that you had bought a couple months before. They were purchased right before your talk with Seungmin. You had wanted so badly for him to listen to you, to tell you that everything would be okay, that he’d help you… You were wrong in wanting those things, you hadn’t gotten any of them. You weren’t sure why you had even held out this long after the talk, it’s not like anything was getting better, and you knew then that nothing would ever be better.

The hoodie that you had been wearing was pulled off, dropping to the ground with a heavy thud, the soaking fabric creating a puddle where it landed. The shower was turned on, the spicket turned all the way to hot. If this would be your final moment, you at least wanted to be comfortable for as long as it lasted.

Hesitating was something you did often. You hesitated when having to pick a multiple choice answer on a test. You had hesitated a little too long when you were called to the front of the class to answer a question on the board. You even hesitated when Seungmin had asked you to be his girlfriend. Hesitation was just… your thing. Not now though, you didn’t hesitate at all as you climbed into the tub, lowering yourself down into the tub. There was no reason to take pause, your decision would affect no one, no one but yourself, and the only effect it would have on you was positive. You would finally be free, and you saw nothing wrong in wanting that.

It was much easier to sleep, to let yourself drift off knowing that you’d have no worries left, knowing that once your eyes were shut, they would be shut for good. You let your wrists fall into the water that filled up around you, focusing only on the sound of the shower, the way it felt like rain as it poured down around you. You’d be okay soon, and while you didn’t know where you’d go or what would happen next… At least you wouldn’t be in hell, at least not this one.

“I really have to go to the bathroom, stupid rain. Just wait here, I’ll be out soon.” Your roommate said as she burst through the door, the rest of her study group drenched as they filed in behind her. She knocked once on the door to the bathroom, then once more, rocking back and forth impatiently as she waited for you to give her the okay to come in. “Fuck it!” She called out as she pushed open the door, coming to a full stop when she saw you, the bath water a dark red as it inched closer and closer to spilling over the sides. “Help! Come help me! Oh my god! Call an ambulance! Fuck! What the fuck!?” She shouted, running over to the tub and grabbing your arms, holding them above your head to try to stop the bleeding.

The rest of them rushed in, some of them screamed when they saw you, your color almost completely drained. Others were pulling out their phones, trying to make the same call at the same time. The ones who screamed were ordered to come over and help, their hands shaking as they tried to help your roommate pull you out of the tub. The others who were on the phone were all trying to tell your roommate and the few others what to do to try to help, at least until the paramedics arrived.

It was strange how even with all the commotion, your mind was happy. You could hear all of it, but you refused to focus on it, scared that if you did it would bring you back to the hell that you called life, the hell that you were trying to escape. “Why would she do that? Why? Are her grades bad? She could have come to study group with us!” Someone had shouted, and if you weren’t feeling so tired, you might have actually laughed. Your grades were the least of your problems, they weren’t even on your list of problems. Of course, your roommate had never believed you either, so she had probably never brought it up to the rest of her group.

“Check… Check to see if her heart is still beating!” One of the guys shakily ordered, and your roommate pressed her fingers against your neck, her eyes squeezed shut as she tried to focus on the feeling of the faint beat that came a little too slow. Time was running out, and you felt it too, it was a good feeling, to know that soon you’d gone. There would be no more suffering, no more nights spent lying in your bed crying as you wished that someone, anyone, would understand you, that they’d just listen.

Sirens sang outside the building and you wished that you had done it earlier, that you hadn’t even answered the call from Seungmin. Maybe if you had cut a little deeper… maybe you had been hesitating, a little bit of hope left that maybe now someone would help. Did you really want to die or did you just want things to get better? Would things even get better? At least you were feeling tired, no matter what happened now, you’d be so out of it you wouldn’t remember. Maybe you wouldn’t wake up, maybe it would still work. Maybe…

“Dude, have you seen on twitter?” Jisung asked, leaning back in his chair as he scrolled through his phone. Seungmin was sitting across from him, more focused on his meal. “There was a freaking suicide attempt back on campus… there’s literally live updates right now.” Seungmin rolled his eyes, not nearly as impressed as Jisung for some reason was. “That looks a lot like Y/Ns building! You should call her! See if she knows what’s going on!”

The last thing Seungmin wanted to do was bother you when you had told him you were studying, but by the way Jisung was looking at him, Seungmin knew he wouldn’t let up. “Fine… But I’m not gonna force her to look at that. She can’t handle that kind of stuff.” He mumbled, pulling his phone out of his pocket. It’s not just that you couldn’t handle it, you absolutely hated stuff like that. You couldn’t even watch horror movies without hiding in Seungmins shoulder for the better half of the movie.

Jisung watched as Seungmin dialed your number, his knee bouncing so much under the table that Seungmin could feel it in the floor. “S-Seungmin!” A male voice came over the phone, it wasn’t you at all, and the man sounded breathless and his voice was shaky. Now, Seungmin wasn’t the type of person to jump to conclusions, but he couldn’t help but get a little worked up when he heard anyone but you on the other end of the line.

“Who are you? Where’s Y/N?” Seungmin hissed through the phone, his fist already balled up on the table as he awaited an explanation. Knowing you it would probably be a good one, one that would have Seungmin feeling foolish while laughing about it later with you. You probably just left your phone at the cafe that you always went to… But that wouldn’t explain the urgency in the person's voice… This was someone who knew something or had done something and it wasn’t good. “Where is she?” Seungmin asked again, and he could feel Jisungs eyes on him, eating up the drama without a word, enjoying it far too much since he wasn’t the one personally involved in it.

“Hospital… Ambulance… Lia found her… Come fast…” The man said, and then the line went silent, leaving Seungmin to put the pieces together. He reached across the table to grab Jisungs phone, still open to the twitter feed about the attempted suicide, and as he scrolled through the pictures it became quite clear to him. Your room, with the yellow tape making a big X across the door, your bed that was still made just as it had been this morning. Your bag sat on the floor next to your nightstand where you always left it… And on the nightstand table was a picture of you and him together.

“H-Hey! Where are you going?!” Jisung shouted as Seungmin pushed away from the table, his chair falling back and crashing against the floor as he ran to the front door and pulled on his shoes. The trip that he and the guys in his club had gone on had him miles away from you, of course that’s how it would work out, why wouldn’t it be like that? He needed to be with you the most right now and it would take him hours just to get there. “What is going on?! Come on, dude! Tell me!”

“It was her!” Seungmin shouted to Jisung, although nothing would stop him from moving forward right now. He was on a steady track and it led only to you. He wasn’t crying, not yet, for now he kept the tears at bay with nothing but anger. Anger towards himself for not being there to stop it, anger with you for doing something so stupid. Did you even know what that would have done to him? He loves you, and you were going to just take yourself away from him like that without a word? Why didn’t you talk to him? Why didn’t you tell him? What was going on that would make you think to do something like that? He didn’t get it, and that was only pissing him off more. Right now he just needed to get to you, make sure that you’d be okay.

~~~

“She lost a lot of blood, so we had to do a transfusion. She’ll be okay, we just need to keep watch over her, make sure everything stays good.”

“Can I see her? Why aren’t you letting me in her room? What’s going on? Let me see her!”

“They would like to talk to you first… Before you see her…”

He sat in the lounge room, his hands folded on the table as he looked at the officer across from him. He didn’t know what it was about, but he tried his best to keep calm even though all he wanted to do was get to your room and sit beside you. “Kim Seungmin… You were her boyfriend, right?” The officer questioned and Seungmin narrowed his eyes as it set in that he was about to be interrogated for this shit.

“I am her boyfriend… Present tense…” He responded, quite snarkily, but this felt like a complete waste of time to him. “Is there a reason why you’re doing this? Do you guys think someone else did this to her and set it up?”

The cop shook his head, leaning back in his chair as he looked over Seungmin. “Where were you tonight? How did you know to come here? Seems like you came pretty fast too… Like you knew this was going to happen…”

Seungmins eyes went wide and his jaw was slack as he stared at the officer. How could someone even insinuate that this was somehow his fault? “I was three hours away with my club. I’ve been out for almost a week going to different high schools trying to get people to apply to the university. I called her because my friend saw a bunch of posts on twitter about something happening… I didn’t know it was her until some random guy answered and told me.” He ran his hand through his hair, his teeth gritted as he closed his eyes, his composure slowly wearing thin. “I came fast because she’s my girlfriend… I’d like to think that anyone else would do the same thing. I broke a lot of traffic laws to get here as fast as I did.”

“Do you two ever fight? Does it ever get physically violent?” The officer rapidly tapped his pen against his notebook, the sound going straight to Seungmins head, driving him absolutely crazy. The assumptions were absolutely preposterous, only fueling his anger towards the entire situation.

“Look man, I don’t know what kind of information you’re fishing for, but I didn’t do anything. I’ve never laid my hands on her. I love her… And I really want to be with her right now. Can we be done with this?”

“So you love your girlfriend so much, you never laid a hand on her… Yet she’s covered in bruises? If we didn’t know any better, it looks as though someone might have mistook her for a punching bag.” Seungmins stomach dropped as he listened to the officer, and while he knew that he himself hadn’t been the one to cause those marks on you, a certain rage built inside of him as he tried to think about who would hurt you like that. “Do you know of any accidents she might have been in to cause her kneecap to be entirely shattered? Do you know anything at all?”

His head shook as his tears finally began to fall. You had never told him anything… What had happened to you while he was away? “I… I don’t know… I’d just really like to see her… Please…” His head dropped into his hands as he sobbed quietly, his body shaking with ragged breaths.

Seungmin was no help to the investigation, and the officer quickly realized that, helping him out of his chair and then leading him out of the room, motioning towards the closed door that would soon open and reveal you to him. Were you awake yet? He had so many questions that he wanted to ask you, but the biggest question of all was why… Why would you do something like that? If you answered that one question, he’d have the answer to a lot of his other questions too.

The nurse let him into the room, and seeing you, it had his heart breaking. You looked so weak, so fragile, your arms were completely wrapped up in gauze, your leg had been casted and hooked to a strap in the ceiling to keep it elevated. “Are you sleeping?” Seungmin whispered as he got closer to your bed, his fingers lightly brushing against yours as he stood beside you. The IV for the blood that was being pumped into you had to be inserted in one of the veins in your neck, the sight of it causing a cold chill to run up his spine. “I’m here now…”

“Do you… believe me… now?” Your voice was so quiet, and your eyes were still shut, if there had been other people in the room he would have sworn it was someone else talking, but you were the only one there, and now he was trying to think of what you could possibly mean. “Was this… enough?”

His hands held onto yours a little tighter as the reels in his mind turned, trying to understand what you were talking about, but nothing was coming up. “What are you talking about? I always believe you… What happened? Tell me, please… I want to help you… I don’t want this to happen again… Talk to me…”

Your fingers twitched against his own, yet your eyes seemed to be glued shut, and even as he was watching your face, it didn’t even look like your mouth was moving even though words were coming out. “People are bad… Seungmin…” People are bad…. What does that even mean? What do you mean? Your answers were only creating more questions for him.

“Visiting hours are over now, sir.” The nurse said from the door. He hadn’t been given enough time though, he needed to know, he needed to know what you were talking about. His head shook rapidly as he kept watching over you. He didn’t want to leave you, even if you didn’t answer any more of his questions, he wanted to stay beside you. “She needs to rest, sir… You can come back in the morning to see her. Okay?”

It’s not like he had a choice, and he didn’t want to have to be escorted out by the officer who interrogated him, so he pressed a quick kiss to your forehead before walking backwards to the door. “I’ll be back tomorrow as early as I can… I promise. I’ll be back.”

People are bad… He mulled over the words in his head as he walked through the parking lot and climbed into his car. What the hell did it mean? He couldn’t ask you now… And the only place he could go for any sort of answer was your dorm. Was it still taped off? It’s not like it was a crime scene… It should be open.

The building wasn’t too far from the hospital, he was there within ten minutes, and when he pulled up he could see a group of people sitting on the bench outside smoking a cigarette. You always told him how you hated that, having to walk through the cloud of smoke just to get to the front doors, and it seemed like they would purposely blow it in your direction… People are bad… He’d always tell you that it was just the wind blowing it towards you, that people wouldn’t purposely do something like that.

“I can’t believe she actually did that. What a fucking drama queen.” “She didn’t even write a note. It’s like she was looking for attention.” “How embarrassing for her boyfriend. He’ll probably dump her. Nobody wants to date the campus suicide risk.” “Oh please, it was embarrassing for him to date her in general. I’m sure he only did it out of pity.” “Whatever, the bitch should have cut deeper.”

How could they talk so harshly about you? Were these the ones… the ones that you had told him about before? “Do you believe me now?” He hadn’t believed you then… If he had, would you have done this? He could have stopped them… He would have stopped them. They were still talking, loud enough for everyone to hear… And no one cared. No one cared enough to tell them to shut up, no one… You could be dead… And they talked about you like you were shit.

“Hey, at least we’ll have a couple days out of class… You know… For like… Guidance or whatever.” “Oh yeah… We’re super torn up about it…” “If she would have done it right we’d probably have a week or two. Ugh… I swear, she’s fucking useless.”

Red. All he saw was red as he got out of his car, slamming the door shut and going straight over to where they sat. “Shut up!” He shouted, and for a second, he thought they would keep quiet, but as soon as the initial shock wore off, they were all laughing. Their heads were thrown back as the boisterous laughter bounced off the walls of the building and rang in his ears. “I said shut up!” He screamed, and before he even realized what he was doing, his fist was cocked back and being thrown straight at the face of the girl who sat in front.

Now, Seungmin wasn’t a violent person, not usually, but you were his girlfriend, he almost lost you, and while some might say that a college relationship means nothing, his relationship with you meant everything to him. “Hey man! What the fuck!?” One of the other girls shouted, her hand quickly moving to the main girl's face to catch the blood that trickled down her nose. “You can’t just fucking hit people like that! You’re a psycho!”

Now it was his turn to laugh, his fists still balled up at his sides as he glared at every single person in front of him. “Really? I can’t just hit people like that but you can?!” The girl who had been hit scoffed loudly, her head rolling forward causing the blood to drip down her mouth and hang at her chin.

“Don’t worry, he’s just the bitches boyfriend. She’s too much of a loser to fight back herself, I guess she got her boyfriend to do it for her. Or maybe she’s just not alive to do it.” She stood up from the bench, a cocky smirk on her face as she looked at him. “I guess she’s getting all the attention she wanted now. I did your bitch a favor. You’re welcome.”

He completely lost it, he snapped, his hand flying back just to shoot forward, the smack that landed across the girl's face sounding much louder in the silence that surrounded them. “I find out any of you even so much as look at her… I’ll slit all your fucking wrists and break both your fucking knee caps. I’ll make you suffer, I’ll make you wish you were dead. I can and I will ruin you… Remember that.”

He wasn’t this kind of person… Not before he had met you, but seeing you in the hospital bed, knowing that he had almost lost you forever, it had sparked something inside of him. He wants to protect you, he wants to keep you safe, and if that meant having to be like this… Then he’d do it without hesitation. People are bad… You weren’t wrong, people are awful… But he’d do everything and anything to keep those people away from you, to protect you from them. He’d stop at nothing to make sure that this never happens again.

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whimsicalwritingsandmore · 27 days

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The Hybrid House | ateez x reader

Pairing: hybrid!ot8!ateez x rich!girl!reader

Genre: fluff, romance, slice of life

Warnings: mention of su*c*de (it isn't detailed, just mentioned), description of emotions after aforementioned event.

Word Count: 1223 words

a/n: just to clarify with the chapter warnings, it is not my intention to sensationalize su*c*de. it's just mentioned but I do describe the impact a little on one of the characters, so I included a red asterisk * at the beginning and end of where it starts and ends.

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Chapter 2

Things were never the same as before.

After returning home from Thanksgiving that year, your parents barred you and Axel from having any contact with your Great Aunt or anyone from there. Growing up became a monotonous journey of adhering to meticulous expectations and suppressing emotions that would creep in out of nowhere, sometimes late at night and continuously bang in your chest and surge through your veins like an icy slush, begging to be felt. You were expected to excel and outshine your cousins every academic year, and if you didn’t, you would have to face the grueling and mind-numbing one hour long lecture from your parents about how inferior you were to your cousins and even siblings, and how detrimental it would be to your life, if you didn’t achieve their your goals.

You felt like a hamster in a wheel, and so did your brother. Axel was no longer the same person he was. The magical life you both knew and enjoyed and that instilled a sense of possibility and hope every time you visited your Great Aunt was ripped away and holidays were never the same - no longer wonderful but rather filled with exclusive and lavish but toneless dinners with the same repetitive and dull conversations about either the successes of each person or the snide remarks about the failures of others.

You both became robots, submitting to your parents’ way of life. Axel was no longer the same. The brother you knew, who would resist and find ways to sneak around your parents’ dictator rules, became cold and distant. You noticed the haunted and hollow look in his eyes - it showed a profound emptiness filled with sadness with his expressions always mirroring a wilting flower. When he moved out to attend college (that your parents’ selected), he pulled you in a bone-crushing hug before leaving and patted the top of your head with a meek smile as tears glistened in his eyes.

“I’ll always be there for you.”

You had just turned 15 and by the end of the year, your world crashed and burned when you were told the worst news - Axel had jumped off a bridge and the medics were unable to save him. The weight of despair and agony crushed your whole existence, and you felt like you were drowning in an ocean of endless sadness and despair. The silent screams you would hold back erupted as an avalanche of sorrow, pain and a dark cloud of grief descended on you with tears stinging like shards of glass and the ragged gasps between sobs making it feel impossible to breathe.

It took all the effort from your two other brothers to hold you back when one of your parents’ colleague and his wife made a snide remark about Axel when they came to offer their condolences at the memorial.

As for your parents, they became different people - they pretended as if Axel never existed, never told your youngest siblings who were born a few months before the event about their brother and pressured each of your siblings so pressingly, it led to the point where your eldest brother showed disdain at the mere mention of Axel’s name and your older sister iced you out if you asked anything regarding doing something for Axel’s anniversary.

Only your other brother showed some support but the bond between the two of you seemed to have become so damaged, he would retreat on his promises and disappear, ignoring you if he was passing by and you were in the room. So every night on the day of Axel’s passing, you would sit in the treehouse that became dusty and cluttered, and cry uncontrollably, secretly praying to go back to how things used to be when you were at your Great Aunt’s.

“What did we do to deserve this?”

And then, after a brutal and nasty argument with your older siblings, you studied diligently to curry favor with your parents and then requested your father to send you to an elite university in Upper New York. You decided to follow in Axel’s footsteps and work your way around your parents’ demands so that things could happen in your favor. You became calculative and observant and succeeded in proving your worth to your parents who as a gift, gave you a top position at the family’s company. Following this, you worked to establish your own personal company to help break away from your parents and move further away from your siblings.

You took on one of your father’s failed projects and successfully achieved what your father couldn’t do. You saw things for how they were instilled in you to view - dollar signs that could help you move up even higher than before and gain unlimited independence from your family and anyone.

But your parents still tried to control one area of your life, your love life. They tried to set you up on dates and arrange courtships where possible. Luckily for you, it fell through one way or the other.

However, despite your money-making centered lifestyle, you weren’t completely obsolete to everything. Maybe it was the part of you that learnt from Axel and continued to cherish his lessons. Even if you would never admit it, love felt more than just an arrangement to have more money. Although you were heavily ingrained in the fast-paced, upscale lifestyle, something pulled you in the other direction when it came to love.

Nevertheless, you continued to live your life day by day as it came with meetings, negotiations and the few occasions that included luxurious drinks and food at restaurants or clubs or on yachts in different parts of the world.

Until one day, after a hectic meeting you received a call from a lawyer, more specifically, your Great Aunt's lawyer. Once again, your world was interrupted with life-changing but heart wrenching news - your Great Aunt passed away just a few moments ago before you received the call and you were now the inheritor of her estate, money and home.

That night, you stood on your balcony unable to process all of it. You were now a hundred or probably a thousand times richer, but your Great Aunt who was a part of the best moments in your childhood that became vague and indistinct in your mind, was no longer here.

Tears cascaded down your face into your concocted cocktail. This was the first time that you cried like this since your brother Axel.

You contemplated telling your parents but then decided against it, remembering that your family did not have any good things to say about your Great Aunt after all these years. This was a secret only for you to know.

And your best friend Yeonjun.

Recruiting Yeonjun, you told your parents you were accompanying him on a trip to Asia to help him secure a business deal with some clients. They paid no heed and waved you off and sent you on your travels.

Now, you were in a car outside of Seoul's airport waiting for Yeonjun to finish placing the bags in the trunk.

It was at this moment the realization was slowly dawning on you: it had been 13 years since you last came to Seoul, which meant it had been 13 years since you last saw your friends.

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Taglist: @ateezennie23 @edenani @seonghwasslytherin

#ateez x reader #ateez series #ateez fanfic #ateez fluff #poly ateez x reader #ot8 ateez x reader #poly!ateez

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meret118 · 10 months

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So, forced arbitration agreements, for a while, turned into a method for big companies to screw over customers, users, employees and more.

But… over the last few years, we’ve been highlighting how people have started to fight back against the companies who forced arbitration on them by flooding them with arbitration claims. Don’t want to deal with class action lawsuits? Fine, how about a few hundred arbitration claims, each one you have to deal with separately? Amusingly, over the last few years, the same folks who spent decades twisting the arbitration system to their own advantage have been flipping out, now that arbitration claims have become a form of distributed denial of service attack in protest to the company’s bad behavior.

. . .

Of course, for a while, Musk, who verbally promised three months severance (which was below what the company had previously offered, and really only one month, since the first two months were required by the WARN Act, and were actually just continuing salary, since he had to give 60 days of notice for a layoff) refused to provide employees with any severance documentation. Then, when the documentation finally came, it was way less than they expected. They also included gag orders and giving up legal rights.

Many employees chose to fight this, including suing the company. But, those old pesky arbitration clauses meant that some of the lawsuits were dismissed, with the judge telling employees they had to go to arbitration, instead.

It turns out that many of them did. 1,986 former Twitter employees have filed arbitration claims.

. . .

Apparently Twitter’s lawyers hasn’t met with the other law firms that have brought arbitration claims yet. But, it seems they’re freaked out by the prospect of having to handle 1,848 separate discovery efforts.

The firm also notes that they wouldn’t be surprised if Liss-Riordan seeks to depose Elon Musk for each of the nearly 2,000 claims, because why not?

#Elon musk

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dalamjisung · 11 months

Text

Matching Set Masterlist

college!AU

popular!jeongin x introvert!reader

summary: Y/N and Jeongin had been together since birth. Seriously since birth– their mothers were best friends and while hanging out to complain about their never ending pregnancy, bam. Rumor has it that Y/N took a little while to cry, blinking around for a couple of minutes until the gentlest of screams came out of her tiny body. Only later, when the parents got together to congratulate each other, did the mothers found out that Jeongin had been born five minutes before Y/N, and it seemed that her quietness had been her own early way to wait for who would later be her best friend. And as if sharing a birthday wasn’t enough, these two had to share everything else; from their lunch at school to the bed they slept on. Thankfully, as next door neighbors, the trip was minimal.

It continued like this for decades to come, through middle school, high school, and finally, college. Their applications were sent together and their letters came in the same day. Miraculously, they chose different degrees, and for an entire night, Y/N cried to her mom about losing her best friend. Maybe this will be a good experience for you two, she laughed, petting her daughter’s head. But Y/N just couldn’t see a positive side to being without her Innie. Later, they would make a pact– one that vowed to always be there for each other. And he looked so earnest and honest that Y/N just couldn’t understand where that nagging doubt tugging on her heart was coming from…

What happens when these two experience freedom like nothing they’ve ever seen? And what will be of the matching set when they are put apart? Can the lifelong friendship survive the ultimate test of time– college?

update schedule: Every Sunday :D

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🌚 chapter one: hyung I’m suing you

🌝 chapter two: fellow clowns

🌚 chapter three: what bothers you, my little freeloader?

🌝 chapter four: forgiven but not forgotten

🌚 chapter five: she doesn’t need me anymore

🌝 chapter six: Mandatory Movie Marathon™️

🌚 chapter seven: delayed reactions

🌝 chapter eight: no turning back

🌚 chapter nine: things are about to change

🌝 chapter ten: another case of innie being innie

🌚 chapter eleven: see you then

🌝 chapter twelve: it’s a date

🌚 chapter thirteen: we need to talk about yesterday

🌝 chapter fourteen

🌚 chapter fifteen

🌝 chapter sixteen

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hi lovelies! I know I have been a bit gone from the fake text scene, but I’ve been working on this for a bit now, and I am really, really excited to share this new story with you all! Han’s story will be going into HIATUS as I’m trying to sort the overall plot and details and will be reworking it after I get my muse back fro Rhythm & Rhyme. Also: there are timeline plot-holes and for that I apologize! Because it’s been a while since I wrote these, there was a mixup with the timeline of all the following stories, so truly, I am sorry-- I’ll do my best to keep everything together neat and tight! Thank you for your love and constant support!

IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO GET TAGGED FOR THE RELEASE OF MATCHING SET PLEASE LET ME KNOW AND I’LL START A TAGLIST!

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jungkookslipring · 4 months

Text

I Will Never Make You Lonely: Intro

Summary: When your life is falling apart, your 8 best friends are there to lift you up

TW: mentions of de&th, su!c!de, su!c!de tendencies, su!c!dal ideologies, depress!on, anxiety, crying. If this is in any way triggering I’d steer towards more of my happier works.

If you or someone you love has thought of or acted on suicide, there is help and there is hope

Call or text 988

Genre: angst, hurt/comfort, non idol AU

PSA: this is no way represents the artists. While their birth names are used in this story, this is in no way a reflection of the artist or artists in real life.

AU: I’m actually so scared to post this cause while I’ve posted heavy topics about SH before, it’s still a long fic with multiple chapters and not just a one shot.

Intro:

It was a quiet day in the apartments. Why? Because the guys were not home. They all had classes while you were at a cafe drinking boba and reading case studies. You were in your senior year of college and you “lived” in an apartment with your best friends. Even though you had your place, you hardly ever used it, and the only time you would ever stay the night in your apartment was when you had an exam the next morning or a long study night ahead, cause you knew damn well you weren't going to get any peace in their apartment. Even then, on occasion, you’d drive to their apartment at 2 sometimes 3 am, and stay in the guest bedroom. You have been their honorary 9th roommate since 2019. The guys have been your family ever since you moved to Seoul 4 years ago, and because of them, you decided you wanted to get dual citizenship and build a life in Seoul if you were approved for your internship.

When you decided you had enough screen time for one day, you packed up your backpack and headed back to the apartments. When you walked in, Minho, Hyunjin, Felix, and Jeongin were all in the living room; it was chaotic. Jeongin was on the ground laughing as Minho straddled him, attacking his neck, while Felix and Hyunjin were on the couch smiling at the two. This was nothing new, tickle attacks were far too common for your friend group. When you came around the corner they all looked up at you with a smile.

“Hi y/n!” Minho greeted without stopping his attack on Jeongin.

“Save mehehehehe!” Jeongin screeched as Minho’s hands dove into the poor boy's tummy. You grinned as you dropped your bag and ran over to the pair on the floor. You ran up behind Minho and started squeezing his sides. Minho yelped and launched himself off of Jeongin, falling onto his back. He tried pushing your hands away, but your hands were too quick, and he was growing weaker by the second.

“You traihaihaitor” he laughed out as you continued your attack.

“Alexa, play traitor by Olivia Rodrigo,” Felix said sarcastically, laughing his ass off when the speaker started blasting said song.

“Be nice to our kids!” You jokingly scold the second you start digging in his ribs. His sweet laugh filled the room.

“HYUNJIN-AHAHAHA LIXIE HELP MEHEHE” Minho squealed while you effectively moved your fingers up and down his ribs.

“I’m not getting involved in that! She’ll come after me!” He chuckled with Felix snuggled into his side.

“Then join the dark side and come hold his arms down!” You offer with a smirk. Hyunjin cringed.

“But Minho Hyung’s revenge tickles are 10x worse!” He said, shivering at the memories.

“He’ll get revenge on you regardless,” Jeongin said matter-of-factly. While everyone was having a debate on basically ‘you’re damned if you do and you're damned if you don’t’, Minho has been filling the room with his adorable laughter.

“Y/N I GIHIHIHIVE” Minho begged after you spent a good few minutes attacking his underarms.

“Fine, just don’t go after my kids!” You laughed as you got off of him.

“How was school?” Minho asked after you helped him sit up. You leaned against the couch.

“Not bad, I think I’ve become addicted to caffeine,” you shrugged.

“Are you already pulling all-nighters?” Felix asked.

“Yeah, but it’s just a lot of reading, case studies specifically,” you said, grabbing a pillow and holding it in your lap.

“Have there been any that were interesting?” Hyunjin asked.

“More like unethical, these stories are heavy,” you said, cringing at some of the stories you’ve read.

“Do you have to write any papers on these stories?” Jeongin asked. You nodded.

“Eventually I will yeah, which will require more reading and I don't know how much longer I can keep reading these old case studies. I may need therapy,” you chuckled.

“Well if you ever need a serotonin boost you always have us,” Felix said with a smile. You walked over and pinched his cheeks.

“Awww thanks Lixie!” you squeal as he scrunches up his nose. Jeongin laughed.

“I’m so happy it's not me this time,” he joked. Minho smirked and grabbed a hold of Jeongin’s face.

“Oh don’t act like you don’t like it,” Minho smiled as Jeongin squawked out protests.

“Remember what I said about going after my kids!” you joked as you walked towards him with claw-like hands. Minho was quick to stand up and try to run out but you were too quick, once again on top of him while his laughs filled the room. A few hours later the rest of the guys came home. You all had dinner, talked about your day, and had a friendly yet violent Mario Kart competition. The apartment was chaotic once again.

“No, not Rainbow Road!”

“Let me be Princess Peach for once Minho!”

“EAT MY FUCKING DUST TOAD”

“WHO THE HELL THREW THAT RED SHELL”

“I WOKE UP IN A NEW—“

“GIVE ME A SOLID REASON WHY I SHOULDN’T KNOCK YOU OFF THIS COURSE FOR FUN”

“BOI IF YOU DON’T-“

“First place once again!”

“YOU CHEATED!”

You *gently* threw your controller and grabbed Seungmin’s shoulders, making him laugh as you shook and scolded him for getting 1st place when it was you who should’ve won even though you got last.

“Sleep with one eye open tonight Min or so help me God!” You jokingly scolded as he giggled.

“Not my fault you suck!” he said bravely.

“Not my fault when your head goes through that wall!” You yell as you put him in a headlock, his laughter radiating through the entire apartment while everyone else around the two of you rolled on the ground laughing. Everyone shared lots of smiles that evening before you all retreated to bed. You pulled out your phone and sent a picture of the scores between you and the guys to your childhood best friend, Carter.

Side Kick Shit

🤍Lost to Seungmin once again🤦‍♀️

🖤Miss girl you gotta get better at that🙅‍♀️

🤍I swear he’s cheating!🙋‍♀️

🖤I haven’t heard that excuse before🙄

🤍FOUL 🚩

🖤Not my fault you suck🤷‍♀️ also wrong flag 💛

🤍Our friendship is over😽

🖤Kidding Kidding I love you you know that🥰

🤍Not me questioning your love🧐

🖤What have I ever done to you😫

🤍You got an hour?💩

🖤Respectfully fuck you😀🖕

🤍When and where😏

🖤Ha GAYYYYYYYY🌈

🤍Always🏳️‍🌈

🤍You gotta come up here soon!

🤍See in real-time how much of a menace this mf is!

🖤Lmfao one day!

🖤 well I love you so so so much but I gotta go

🤍NOOOOOOOOO you suck😩

🖤I know but I love you so much

🤍You better🥺

You turned off your phone, setting it on the side table, easily succumbing to sleep knowing the weekend was right around the corner.

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Oh Lordy I hope you guys do like this story I’m ✨terrified✨ but I hope you like it! Let me know if you want to be added to the tag list ❤️

taglist: @felixmainacc @felixburneracc @myforevermelody143 @dunno-wut-to-do @itzsana-kiddingmenow

#stray kids #stray kids x stay #stray kids fluff #skz fanfic #stray kids tickle #stray kids angst #christopher bang #lee minho #hwang hyunjin #seo changbin #han jisung #lee felix #kim seungmin #yang jeongin #stray kids x reader #non idol au #kpop au

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blade-that-was-broken · 14 days

Text

Soldier On AU Notes

For the person who asked for them... This is kinda what I got. Don't get me wrong, there is a ton of JD and Bruce stuff, I just... haven't written any of that down...

I told ya'll that Branch jumped out of the bushes and pushed his way in! What do you want me to do!?

John does eventually get a service dog - Rhonda - that is mostly a mobility and reach aid and does pressure therapy for his PTSD. Idk all the details yet.

Branch never met his dad. Their parents had been separated when he was born but the divorce was not finalized until he was almost a year old. That is when John was forced to leave.

Branch has vague memories that are actually of John. Calloused hands (JD used to play guitar), maybe goggles and a faint lullaby no one can tell where it came from. In reality, JD sang it to him constantly to get him to sleep. He wrote it.

Their mother cut off everything and was extremely bitter. The divorce was ugly and she didn’t like anyone talking about John or their father. So, after a few years, no one did. It just built up until he was a distant memory, and no one really thought of him.

Their dad wasn't much better but he was left with very little in the divorce anyways.

John on the other hand, wasn’t left with a lot. He was lonely and clung to the memory of his brothers with everything he had. Being away from them broke his heart, as he was close with all of them and took care of them. He was their big brother and close with them.

Bruce left home the moment he could when he turned 18. He tried to keep in contact with them, although his mother didn’t really like it. Clay felt betrayed. Bruce currently lives in Hawaii and owns a small resort with his native Hawaiian wife, and they have a couple of kids.

Clay did one semester at the local college to stay close to home but when their mother died and Floyd and Branch moved in with Grandma, he went to another school further away, one he wanted. Clay has been in and out of school for many years and is working on idk, some kind of doctorate or masters or whatever.

Floyd went to the local college for a while but then his music career started to pick up and now he does a fair bit of traveling. He is musically inclined and seriously started making music after his mother died. He plays an old guitar that he found in their house and just can’t let it go. He doesn’t actually know it was JD’s. There is a symbol on it that is actually initials.

Bruce does try to call Clay when John is with him but Clay absolutely does not want to talk to him. He barely answers the phone and hangs up before JD could get a word in.

Eventually JD just gets a plane ticket and flies out to the college to try and find him. Like this entirely blindsides Clay; he has zero clue. At this point JD is still struggling to get around and doesn’t have a lot of things… including a phone. So he just kind of disappears and well… Bruce panics a little. They are gonna haveta work on their communication a bit.

Branch is about 16 and lives with his grandmother. She likes to garden and they have an old dog named Gary. He is extremely smart and has a wealth of knowledge but people avoidant. He wants to go somewhere but he doesn’t want to be alone and he doesn’t know where. He’d like to do more outdoorsy things but his grandmother cannot and he doesn’t actually know much.

This is partially how he and JD bond. He spends a while with them, showing up one day and helps Branch with the outdoorsy stuff, actually teaching him things like how to start a fire, pitch a tent, a lot of stuff dudes like to do. He even helps start teaching him to drive. Just a little.

Rosiepuff does suggest JD just stay with them since Branch seems to really like him and he has difficulty actually having fun/getting friends/talking with people but by this time, JD has a place and responsibilities and can’t stay. Besides, he doesn’t want to burden his grandmother.

Branch ends up spending at least a summer in Hawaii with JD by suggestion of their grandmother. It goes well.

JD jokes about where his leg ended up. He thinks he left it back in Sudan but he’s not sure. He’ll tell everyone different stories on where it is. It’s kind of dark humor sometimes that… don’t always bode well with people.

Delta is probably one of JD's squad. I'm not sure who else. In their free time, they make a pretty awesome singing group though

There will probably be more but idk

#soldier on au

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 6 months

Note

WIBTA for pointing out the kinda racist undertones of my dad's jokes?

So, I (F20) am very white. I hang out with two friends, N (M22) and V (F21) (both black) fairly often, but not all the time since we're all busy college students. Fairly often when we hang out, my dad (M51) (also v white) will make some comment about us getting drunk or high.

One time, my friends and I had a little get-together where getting drinks or drugs never even crossed our minds, but when my parents came home the next day I overheard my dad say something about how we were probably hungover. When I was trying to figure out the logistics of hanging out with my friends for N's birthday and doing something after, my dad said "well, if you don't get high while hanging out..."

I've made it very clear to my dad in the past that I don't drink or get high. I don't drink, especially when out with friends, because I always need to drive. I don't get high because I fucking hate it since all that ever happens is that I feel miserable for an hour and then I have a panic attack. Every time he says something like this I defend myself and he always says that he's joking, but it hardly ever feels like he is.

My friends don't get high or drink when we hang out either, V is literally straight-edge.

One time when we were hanging out, I told V and N about something my dad said about me getting high while I'm out with my friends and N jokingly said "it's because we're black"

I know he was joking but I've started to find it a bit sus. I know my dad doesn't really think I'm going out getting high just because I'm hanging out with black people, but there's definitely an uncomfy connotation now that it's been pointed out to me. WIBTA if I mentioned this next time my dad says something about me getting high with my friends?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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picturejasper20 · 17 days

Text

So, i was trying to think of the strange connection that there is between Danny Phantom fans and Steven Universe fans, aside from SU being a show that was very popular on its moment. Like one show is from 20 years ago and the other is from last decade, both with different executions and genres.

...Which lead me to write a whole essay no one asked for, so here you go:

One of the first things that comes to mind is how the main leads are hybrids- Danny Fenton is half human/half ghost, Steven is half human/ half gem. And like both series give an idea that they are pretty unique in their experience as hybrids and they both belong to both worlds yet not fully to either of them.

Danny has a lot of issues with having to hide his part of himself from the world, his parents included. Meanwhile, Steven doesn't understand certain social norms and can feel disconnected from other teens around his age, having lived a somewhat recluded childhood from his peers. (This gets more explored in Future)

Aside from the struggles that being an hybrid it brings to them, they have episodes about learning new powers or learning how to control them. You see them start rather powerless only to become pretty OP on the long run. -Steven getting tired for summoning one shield to being able to do it without sweat-Danny having his powers glitching at the start to gain a power like Ghost Wail later on, etc.

Another thing that Danny and Steven share in common is that they want to help and be useful. In Steven's case, he wants to help people with their problems or "fix" them. Over time Steven starts to define his identity around helping others a little too much to the point that he doesn't know who to be outside of that.

A pretty common headcanon for Danny in the DP fandom is that his ghost obsession is about having to protect everyone he can, something you can see in the series in a way. After Phantom Planet, Danny doesn't know who to be outside being the hero and feels that people don't need him anymore in the context the world having being saved after the series finale. ( A Glitch in Time)

Both try solving problems talking it out if possible, if it is a misunderstanding or they think the antagonist can be reasoned with.

With Steven, he doesn't need an explanation as most people know his personality, for Danny- it depends on the situation and his mood, sometimes being kinder and other times more violent. I would argue again that he still tries to talk things out when he sees that violence isn't necessary -just not the same as Steven

That's not to say their characters are the same, in fact their personalities are pretty different and their ways to approaching problems differs too. They do, however, share some parallels in their character arcs that i already discussed.

Another aspect are the main antagonists, both Steven Universe and Danny Phantom have their antagonists have motivations outside of being evil for the sake of being evil.

In Steven Universe this is a main theme and i don't think it doesn't need much introduction. Antagonists (most Homeworld gems) have been taught and were socialized to act in a specific way in the totalitarian society they were born into. Examples of this are: Peridot, Jasper and Lapis- these motivations can be mixed with revenge or similar things as well.

In Danny Phantom the main antagonists are Vlad Masters/Plasmius and Valerie Gray, both characters who aren't evil by nature and the series leaves clear that their antagonism comes from what happened to them and the decisions they took in result of that.

Vlad Masters role as a villain comes from the insolation and abandonment issues that came from the Ghost portal accident in college caused by Danny's father, Jack Fenton. Vlad became obsessed with getting revenge on Jack and believing he "stole" a family that should have been his.

Valerie comes from her blaming Phantom for (accidentally) ruining her life and trying to get revenge on him, becoming a ghost hunter. Valerie's role is a mix between anti-hero and antagonist since she wants to protect people but opposes Phantom at the same time. Eventually she becomes a bit of a friendenemy to Phantom over the course of the seasons.

Other recurrent antagonists have their own motives to do bad things ( Sidney, Desiree, Ember) while others are more naturally classic evil (Ghost King, Spectra). It depends on the character one is talking about.

Diving more into Vlad Plasmius, both series have this idea of "legacy", as like protagonist having to deal with what their parent/s "left behind for them".

For Steven is a huge deal for him since many of the antagonists who attack him are for things his mother Rose Quartz did, having Steven deal with all this issues and believing he has to fix them, blaming himself for what how Rose hurt people in different ways.

As for Danny, Vlad Masters' antagonism comes from the portal accident caused by Jack, Danny's father, when Vlad, Jack and Maddie (Danny's mom) were still friends in college. In a way Danny has to deal with something that was caused by his father. It isn't something he choose to but yet still brings him a lot of problems to his life.

I'm not sure which character from SU Vlad could be compared to, but i would say that Spinel is the closest one, since Spinel was abandoned by Rose Quartz (as Pink Diamond), who was her best friend, similar to what supposely happened between Vlad and Jack after the ghost portal accident.

Other theme is the idea of redemption, or how you can be your worst own enemy. As i mentioned, antagonists in SU usually get redemmed and change their ways from the systematic ideas they were raised in. There is this idea that people have the capacity to change if they propose themselves to.

In Steven Universe Future, Steven is "his worst enemy" as he has to deal with his own demons he has been avoiding for years for trying to repress them or being too busy helping other people. He goes through a negative corruption arc because of this, ending with him realizing that he can't hiding his issues and needs help with them.

In the Danny Phantom series, this is very important theme in "The Ultimate Enemy", where Danny is confronted by the possible evil future version of himself, called Dan Phantom in the DP fandom. Danny battles against this version of himself and tries to fix his mistake, proving that he can avoid that future from happening.

Danny also meets Vlad Masters in the dark future timeline in this special, who regrets his actions after so many years passed and how he accidentally helped with creating Dan in that timeline.

A Glitch in Time expands on this theme further by exploring Vlad and Dan's motivations a lot more and giving them second chances. The novel itself shares parallels with Steven Universe and SU Future in multiple ways.

Back to Dan Phantom, he shares quite a lot of things in common with Malachite to the point people have pointed out these parallels.

In Steven Universe, gems can fuse with other, creating more powerful gems. A fusion's personality and manners are determined by the relationship the partipants in the fusion have and a combination of their personalities.

Malachite is the fusion between Lapis Lazuli and Jasper, two characters who hated each other and carried lots of personal issues the moment they fused, resulting in a fusion that is unstable. Malachite represents the toxic codependent relationship between the two characters.

Dan Phantom is the fusion between Danny and Vlad's ghost halves, Phantom and Plasmius. Dan was created in a timeline both Danny and Vlad had a lot of issues, with Danny having to deal the lost of his family and being left traumatized. All this trauma along with Vlad's mental state went to Dan, turning him into a destructive ghost.

These are the elements i see that Danny Phantom and Steven Universe series share in common to explain why fandoms often overlap, i'm not sure if there are more that i'm not able to recall at the moment.

#steven universe #danny phantom #su future #danny fenton #steven quartz universe #Su fandom #Danny phantom

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bside-cassette · 7 months

Text

This is both a love letter and a retelling of @fakecrfan 's Constructor/Architect story, but set in my own superhero universe. She has a specific identity in this, as unfortunately, you can't really have the reader *be* the main character in a visual format, but I hope that's okay with you :)

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My name is Na Su-Yung. Two years ago, I thought I was a normal person. Another mortal. Another drop in the ocean, looking up to the clouds. To the gods living amongst us. Until I found out that I'm nothing like the ocean around me. I was different. I was an Anomaly.

I was just a college kid in Cosmopolis, another normal human who was awestruck every time I saw The Guardsman zoom across the city, or see a news report of Nitrous' crime-fighting shenanigans in Sunset City, all the way on the other side of the U.S. Another fragile human being, merely made of flesh and bone and nothing else, that cheered each time The Vanguard came together to save the world.

When an attack on Cosmopolis by the villain Sergeant Steel destroyed the foundations of my apartment and others in my neighborhood, I thought I was gonna lose everything. That I was gonna die. I just accepted my fate as the floor began crumbling beneath me. To my surprise, however, it seemed that the entire building was frozen in time. I stopped it from falling. I gave other residents enough time to escape to a safer area. I was a hero, even if no one, not even I, knew what I had done.

I spent time exploring my abilities in my free time between lectures. I don't know why, but it took me months, nearly a year, to be able to control the same amount as I did when I first gained my powers. So I started small. I floated pebbles between my hands, then on a single hand, then I was able to attract them to my hands from a few meters away. For the first time in my 21 years of life, I didn't feel weak, or pathetic, or forgotten. For the first time, I felt like I could be more than myself. And so I did.

I'd go to places in Cosmopolis where Guardsman had recently done battle against one of his rogues. I'd studied architectural engineering thoroughly before going on my first outing, so I was able to reconstruct a lot of the buildings in a few weeks. Just the broad strokes, though. I couldn't get the electrical or water systems down, so I just left a lot of the buildings with hollow walls to let the actual electricians and plumbers do their work.

Still, no one gave a shit about me. I was just some rando in a washed-out CSU hoodie and sweatpants.

I eventually realized that I would probably be able to work better if I had the blueprints for the buildings. Just walking up to wherever they keep them and asking for them probably wouldn't work well, so I planned. Well, "planned" is glorifying it. I did the first thing that popped in my head: make a costume to get attention. And so I did.

I was never the artsy type, so I just bought a wetsuit and mask online. But it worked. After the metas had their fill of fighting, I'd arrive on the scene and start working. The bigger news reporters would keep their focus on Guardsman or Harddrive or whoever did the day-saving, but the smaller news organizations turned their focus to me. Knowledge of my presence was slowly increased, especially online. People on Reddit and Tumblr took to calling me either The Constructor or The Architect. I took up the latter.

One day, when even the larger news networks in Cosmopolis had turned their attention onto me, someone came up to me. She told me her name was Sandy and that she had a proposition. She'd be my manager, managing any relations or exchanges I don't have the time to deal with, and helping me with marketability. I took her up on her offer. She made me a new suit, talked to the city to get blueprints, and whatever else. It's been a while, I've forgotten a lot of what we did.

Hero teams contracted me to restore their headquarters, standalone heroes and vigilantes needed help with rebuilding their bases, cities wanted cheap labor. I did it all. I finally felt like I was contributing to society. That I mattered. I was finally told that I mattered. Until the day I chose to do what I knew was right.

Cosmopolis, despite what outsiders think it is, is just like any other city. One side of the city is covered in skyscrapers, the other in slums. Struggling people who can't escape their situations, whether that be out of discrimination, mental disabilities, mental illnesses, addiction, criminal affiliation, they all live with constant strife.

The worst part of it all, however, is that I'm just like everyone else. Every time I passed one on the street or from inside a cab, I looked away. Seeing them suffer under the city's hand tore out my soul. It didn't matter that my reasoning was different from those who averted their eyes out of spite or disgust, I still looked the other direction. I refused to be like them. To kick them while they're already down. So I started building them up, literally.

I'd scour throughout the city, look through sites listing run-down neighborhoods or buildings, and I'd go there. I'd tear them down and build them back up. I gave people places to stay, where they wouldn't go cold or without a bed for the night. I gave them the kindness that might help them stop simply surviving, and finally begin living.

Then the comments came. Middle and upper class began shouting their complaints online and in my face, whether personally or through a reporter. They hated seeing people, who they deemed "undesirable," getting any help. Giving some cash was already too much for them to handle, so I can see why they saw this in such a bad light. Why their hateful eyes had seen this as a sin.

I went to interviews and I kept trying to get my viewpoint out there. No one listened. No one cared. All they saw was filth getting help by more filth.

So I made shelters around the city in places no one would notice. Rooves out of land in the parks, more empathetic architecture. I removed the spikes underneath bridges that prevent people from getting shelter from the rain and made the benches softer for those who had no beds. But still, no one gave a shit. The city made laws against how much anyone could alter it. I gave up on that.

I was sent death threats. I was told that I was helping the scum grow. That I was making Cosmopolis shine less. It didn't help that Guardsman was comatose from a battle for nearly 6 months at that point. It meant I had no one, not even the hero of heroes, the embodiment of infinite kindness to everyone, to back me up. I was alone. I stopped everything. I pushed away everyone. I fired Sandy, apologizing every second of it. I basically disappeared from the face of the Earth.

Then I heard that they were building a stadium on the Southeast Side. Displacing hundreds of people. Their hope being snuffed out by the fat cats on the top of the totem pole. I wouldn't stand by it. I came as fast as I could and I tore it all down. Every beam and panel and every square inch was just rubble when I was finished.

M.I.R.A. was contacted after the cops weren't able to get me to stand down. They trapped me in an Akonite cell in Pandora's Box. The media labeled me as "a false hero," "a fallen angel," "a wolf in sheep's clothing," "a villain." I just wanted to make things better. With The Vanguard keeping their eyes on the larger threats, and each individual member focusing on the broad strokes that are their respective cities, there were barely any who were looking out for the little guy. That's all I wanted to be. The one to look out for the everyman, the people on the streets. My people. I wanted to take care of my neighbors, friends, and loved ones. But I guess all people care about are themselves.

I eventually found that Akonite didn't work on my powers. How or why, I don't know. Maybe it was because it was just another mineral. Maybe it just didn't have an effect on me. Either way, I knew that this wouldn't stop me. I'm The Architect. I'm a hero. I won't let corruption, greed, and cruelty hinder that. I'll dissent from the indifference. From the apathy. From the fear of helping my city.

#constructorverse #constructor #writingpracticetime #superhero #au character #from someone elses universe #but in mine #streetlight comics

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reveluving · 2 years

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Tu serie de Batmom la adoro completamente, me da un respiro de la universidad y la amo. Leí que tú bandeja de entrada estaba abierta para angst de Batmom y feo mandar mis más profundos pensamientos: Batmom ha estado casada con Bruce por años antes de que Dick llegase y adoraba por completo a todos sus hijos, los amaba como nada en el universo y descubre que Bruce la engaña, Batmom solo aguanta y reúne todas las evidencias pero un día se rompe antes sus dos mejores amigos y batboy escuchan

I felt like a sinner for putting this through G. Translate 🚶🏻‍♀️ But thank you, truly! I do hope college's treating you better as of this post! But this is the last angst for a while (I did warn y'all lol).

This is a pretty different from what you've told me so I'd like to apologize! But thanks, dear Ela! ❤

Some context:

Batmom has been married to Bruce years before Dick's arrival. The ask says 'adores all of her children' but I didn't have the heart to, so it's pre-Jason. Ask also says 'it breaks before her two best friends(?)' but I only made Bruce confess to Alfred. Again, not related to 'A Mother's Touch' series!

You really shouldn't have given him the benefit of the doubt, considering his title amongst the rich, and no, it's not 'billionaire'.

You felt stupid for thinking he'd change just because you caught his eye. He did change, but probably not for long. He probably still loves you, but old habits die hard, it seemed.

Bruce was nowhere near better. Whatever possessed to make him think being with other women would be enough to make him forget his worries of you in his life as Batman was unexplainable. It was morbid of him to occasionally think that doing so would keep you out of harm's way.

But believe me when I say he never did it because he didn't love you anymore.

Of course, you had every right to believe otherwise.

Since your discovery, you've changed little by little. Quiet. Distant. Almost out of place. Just, anything uncharacteristic of you was basically the new you. At least, you were to him. It wasn't the case for Alfred and Dick, though, even they knew you haven't been yourself for a while.

And as much as Bruce hated to admit, he knew exactly why.

Dick knew things were off when you started coming to his room to tuck him in without the presence of Bruce. Or if Bruce did come by, you wouldn't be by side. The only times he's ever seen that happen was the first week of his adoption. And the worst part; there was no tension when you and Bruce started coming in individually.

Dick naively hoped you'd tell him what was on your mind. But why would you ever, to a boy who's not even ten? His parents literally died before his very eyes and you've vowed to protect him somehow. That includes keeping him out of your business. At least talking to Alfred made more sense, and even that was off the table.

Speaking of the beloved butler, he knew what was going on. He knew that if you figured out, you'd be mad at him to for not telling you, but truthfully, he wanted to see Bruce to get the short end of the stick. Entirely. Or, if Bruce really did wanted to make things right, however that is, Alfred wouldn't help him out, and he sure as hell wouldn't want Dick on this issue either. Bruce would have to figure it all out on his own.

Thankfully, his wish came true when Bruce came up to him, truly guilt-ridden when he asked if he could talk to him in the house office.

It was late night, you still haven't come home. It worried Bruce to the max until Alfred bluntly told him that you weren't coming home for a while.

"Please, for your sake, don't try contacting her. Let her heal,"

One would think Bruce was being sad drunk but no alcohol was in sight. In fact, it only seemed like a sad, sad man, full of sins, which he acknowledged was much worse than keeping his crimefighting identity from the entire Gotham, confessing to a wise Father. A Father that only listened with pure judgement on his face. He didn't even bother hiding it, and if Bruce noticed, he didn't say a word. He accepted it as his first (and really, the safest) punishment.

Dick didn't sleep. He hasn't seen you all day and when Bruce was the one tucking him in, it didn't sit right with him. On the other side of the door, he eavesdropped the conversation from A to Z. Things were starting to make sense to the letter he got from you.

'Things aren't going well with Bruce and I. Staying elsewhere around Gotham for a while. You're more than welcome to call anytime!'

xxx - (Y/N) ��

You left him your new number, the same one you gave Alfred. Trusting them that they wouldn't share it with Bruce. You left out the details in Dick's letter. If anyone should be the one to explain, it would be Bruce.

He knew it wouldn't take you days or weeks to recover but just thinking about it wasn't not easy. He knew he deserved it though. If he's put you through such torture and took it like a champ (though that only sent him to further guilt), then it was only fair that he was treated the same. At least Alfred would know of your whereabouts. Dick too, on days where you've come to pick him up at the manor to spend some quality time together. Elsewhere, of course.

One thing's for certain, he was walking a tightrope; your ring was nowhere in the manor, meaning you took it with you. His fate was either a chance from some deity he didn't even believe, and he'll make sure to he'll make things right somehow, or face the ultimate consequence if the ring was ever to return to him.

˚ · . f i n . · ˚

Note: I'm not accepting angst as of now. I started writing Batmom for the sake of fluff & smut, after all. I like reading angst but writing it's not really my forte. I guess it's based on my mood. You can find plenty other writers for that (please, it's Tumblr). Please understand cuz again, no heart for it HAHA

No hard feelings! This ask is still a nice lil' change, an 'exercise', if you will. Plus, I got a couple more asks from y'all to have fun with! Thanks for reading! ❤ (divider by @firefly-graphics)

#— reve's asks 🌹#— reve's reverie 🌹#bruce wayne #bruce wayne x reader #bruce wayne x you #batmom #bruce wayne x batmom #batman x batmom #batman x reader #dick grayson x reader #dick grayson #alfred pennyworth #alfred pennyworth x reader #batmom angst

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stuffymcstuffsworld · 8 months

Text

☆Bragging rights☆

The first time

It was a normal meeting amongst the three greats. Well, as normal as any meeting between the could be Levi and Belial shoving pictures into each other's faces or pulling up videos on their Hellphones.

"Ha! Your brat ain't got nothing on mine! Look at those muscles! Their gonna win the heavy weight title for the Hell wide tail wrestling tournament next season!" Belial cried out, shoving a poster in Levi's face.

Scoffing Levi pulled out a magazine. "Your child has no brains to speak of whatsoever. Mine, however, has made yet another scientific discovery. Just yesterday, they were interviewed on the shadow times!"

Both growled at each other before turning to scream. "SU-CHAN!! YOU PICK WHOSE IS BETTER??" The great lord Sullivan's shoulders started shaking. "Su-chan?" Levi asked.

A loud cackle escaped the slim demon. "I think he's finally cracked." Belial murmered. "Oh ho, I'm sorry you two, it's just..." wiping a tear from his eye, he smiled brightly at the pair. "I can't be your tie bracker any longer."

"Wha-" Sullivan turned to withdraw a large portrait from out of nowhere. "BEHOLD!!!! I have a precious child of my own to brag about!" He gleefully shouted as his comrades could only stare in shock.

There in the frame sat a small individual on a throne like chair drapped in the finest silks and a beautiful array of well placed fine gems and pearls decorated your neck and hair. Your eyes were half closed as you stared out at the artist in what seemed to be amusement from the hint of a smile dancing across your lips.

"WHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTT" Twin screams echoed throughout the tower as both tried to push each other out of the way to get a closer look. "Yes! Aren't they just adorable?!" Sullivan looked pleased if the blissful face he held was anything to go by.

"How did you get a kid???? You don't even have a wife!!!" Levi snapped. "They don't look a thing like you!" Belial accused, pointing a cracked finger at Sullivan. "Well, of course they do see they have my adorable charisma! And what does a wife have yo do with having a child?"

Both fell out of their chairs at this point. Unsure of what was happening at this point. Su-chan with a child? That didn't make any sense!

Nowadays

Both Levi and Belial thought they got one over on Sullivan today. Both had brought absolutely adorable pictures of their children when they were younger. Sullivan did agree that they were cute but....

Not as cute as you holding a baby Iruma and Jazz on your hips. (All due to a magic potion gone wrong) standing next to Balam, who had a tiny Clara trying to escape his arms and a small alice peaking out from behind his legs.

The two demons were blinded by the unholy cuteness bestowed upon them in this moment. "Isn't my family adorable? You know, you two should also get some more grandchildren if you want to keep up with me!"

Finally, Sullivan's ultimate victory against both of his colleges came! He excitedly skipped all the way home. More egar than ever to spend time with his cute and growing family. "Ojii-chan is home!" He called out happily.

Tiny squeals and rushing footsteps sounded as little Iruma rounded the corner, jumping into his grandpa's arms. You followed quickly behind while holding a very glittery little Clara. "She found glitter. I don't know how, but she found glitter." The chairdemon cooed and took several pictures of you both.

"Dali-san says they should be back to their normal age come morning." Sullivan wilted a little when he heard that. "But can't we ju-" "absolutely not regardless of how cute they are." Your firm tone leaving no room for arguments.

#mairimashita! iruma kun #reader #welcome to demon school iruma kun #iruma suzuki #lord sullivan #balam shichirou #balam sensei #jazz andro #asmodeus alice #clara valac #levi #belial

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0nlythrowharrybeaux · 1 year

Text

Wonderful World - Part 1

Hello friends, part 1 is here! This one is long, but it is setting the scene to show where each character is at as this story begins. I really hope you guys like it! And again, it's just starting to be developed so if there is anything that you'd like to see happen in the story please let me know, I'd love to hear your feedback and suggestions!

Learn more about the premise of the story, see main (original) character mood boards, and character casting HERE

Warnings: Brief mentions of suicide and depression

WC: 11.3k

“Alright, alright! Listen up!” Diana’s voice carried above the rest of the voices as her class continued chattering as the class period came to an end, “Before you go, I know it’s only our second week back, but I will remind you of the paper you have due in 2 weeks!” She called over the commotion, “Dos paginas, completamente en Español, sobre sus carreras y las metas que tienen para el futuro!” Diana reminded the students in her intermediate level Spanish class and a few of her students nodded while a few others looked on perplexed, “If you need to hear that in English you can find the information on your syllabus!” She smiled as they started filtering out. She rounded the podium at the front of the classroom and started packing up her things.

“Profesora Beltran?” She heard and glanced up to see one of her students approaching. She taught Spanish to college students and was proud to be one of the more popular professors of the World Languages department.

“Yes, Maddie?” She asked as she shifted her focus to the young girl before her.

“Ummm, I am still undecided in my major, so I’m not sure what my goals for the future are. I was wondering if you would allow me to write my paper on something else?” She asked nervously and Diana’s expression shifted into one of compassion and understanding as she removed her glasses.

“Oh, certainly Maddie. You can write about a profession that interests you or a career you’d like to have?” She suggested and Maddie smiled timidly.

“Ummm, I actually run a small candle making business, I mostly sell on Etsy and I want to do that full-time, but my parents are a bit opposed to that. They don’t see much of a future there, is that something I could write about?” She inquired and Diana smiled.

“I love candles! I think if you’re passionate about that then you should have plenty to say about that.” She decided and Maddie smiled brightly upon hearing this.

“Oh wow, thank you Professor.”

“Of course.” Diana smiled and soon the girl was heading off.

Despite her win with one of her students right now, Diana wasn’t feeling too great, she was actually feeling extremely anxious today. More than she had in a long while because she would be taking her daughter, Celeste to a therapist for the first time in her life and these were the thoughts plaguing her mind as she made her way through the building and to her office.

Celeste, was her 14 year old daughter and she had been displaying symptoms of depression for a while and despite Diana’s efforts to try and talk to her about it she was consistently met with a huff or an eye roll, which were not surprising responses from a teen girl. But it was just the day before school was back in session that Celeste came up to her in tears and told her that maybe she was a bit depressed. She was 14, a freshman in high school, there were new pressures, academically and socially, and Diana explained to her tearful daughter that depression wasn’t uncommon in her age group and that it was something very treatable and with the right help she could be back to her old self in no time.

It was concerning to Diana when Celeste expressed her apprehension with seeing the school counselor. She said that she was really overworked and that when she first reached out for help in November she was assessed for suicide and upon determining that she was low risk, she was given a pamphlet with coping strategies as appointments were not available until they returned from school after Christmas break. So Diana did what any parent would do and researched for therapists in her area that were accepting clients. It was rather hopeless and eventually she resorted to checking Psychology Today, where she knew she might find options of newer clinicians who were building their clientele and would have time for their patients. She eventually did find one who had a relatively new practice, his name was Dr. Harry Styles, his website was really nice and easy to navigate, and the information provided there made her feel confident in him and so she made an appointment. It was only an intake, if the vibe wasn’t right she could continue looking, but she just wanted Celeste to get help sooner rather than later and well, today was the day.

She checked the time on her phone and saw it was already 2:30pm so she pulled up the intake forms that he had sent and got to filling them out. Celeste had already filled out an electronic questionnaire outlining her symptoms and Diana was just filling out the information about insurance and parental consent to treatment. Soon she was printing the forms out and locking up her office to pick up Celeste from school.

Celeste was also really nervous for her appointment, which was completely understandable, but Diana talked her down and assured her that the first appointment was just going through the forms that had been filled out and feeling out the vibe with the therapist. Diana assured her that if she didn’t like the therapist that they could keep looking and that seemed to ease some of her daughter’s nerves. After a ten minute drive they were pulling up to an older apartment building and parking out on the street. They made their way inside slowly and right at the bottom floor they saw a directory and he was on floor 5, room A & B, so they rode up to the fifth floor and upon the doors sliding open it was evident that this apartment building had been modified into office spaces. There was a plastic plaque reading Harry Styles, MD beside the frosted glass door with a 5A painted onto the center of the glass. They headed inside and were met with an empty reception desk, but there was a sign on it reading “In Session, I’ll be with you shortly”, so they sat on the couch there and Diana looked around as Celeste pulled out her phone. It was home-y, the color palette was neutral, but not in the way that made you feel like you were in a model home or something of that natural. The couches they were on were evidently new, but the furniture looked loved-on, there were magazines and coloring books for kids and adults on the table before them, and the wall art was minimalistic with positive messages and bursts of color that drew her eye. It couldn’t have been more than five minutes before they heard some movement on the other side of the reception area and then another door close and moments later the door across the room opened up to reveal a tall and very handsome man. Upon seeing her and Celeste he smiled and stepped out to the reception area.

“Hello, you must be my 3:30, Celeste right?” He asked. He had an accent and his voice was deep, but calming - not daunting in any manner.

“Hi yeah, that’s me.” Celeste said standing and offering him reluctant smile.

“Nice to meet you, Celeste. I’m Harry.” He said coming over and extending his hand to her and she shook it politely as Diana stood as well and their eyes met and Harry’s pupils immediately grew in size at the woman before him. She was definitely shorter than him, but she looked really professional and put together, so he assumed she might be Celeste’s mother, but how? She looked young enough to be a sister, “You must be her…?” He asked Diana instead of just assuming her relation.

“I’m her mom, Diana Beltran.” Diana introduced herself, extending her hand to meet his, his beautiful eyes met her own as they greeted each other and she felt that his eyes were just burning into her soul; it almost felt like time stopped for the moment they greeted each other.

“Wonderful, nice to meet you as well.” Harry greeted with a warm smile. As soon as their hands broke contact he clasped them together in front of his chest, “Have you been waiting long?” He asked and she shook her head.

“Hardly, just a few minutes.” She assured.

“Perfect.” He smiled at her and then Celeste, “I know you filled out the online questionnaire, were you able to complete the other intake forms?” He asked them.

“Yes, here they are.” Diana cut in and reached into her tote to pull out a folder and handed them to him.

“Excellent.” He smiled, “If you’re ready Celeste, we can head back now.” He said and she looked to her mom for a moment.

“It’s alright.” Diana assured softly, “I’ve got your things.” She said extending her hand and Celeste gave her mom her phone before following Harry back into the main space and then the door shut. Now that she was out of sight, Diana felt even more stressed and she just hoped that this guy made an attempt to make Celeste feel heard and comfortable.

************

Harry tried to reflect as much calm as possible because he could feel the apprehension and anxiety emanating from his new, young potential client. She took a seat on the couch in the position furthest away from his seat as possible, which was typical of most first timers. He let her know he was just going to check the forms out and she could look around and then proceeded to open up the folder that her mother had so kindly put together with the intake forms and he paged through them.

Celeste liked his office, it was cozy and his rug was cool. She then noticed a record player on the sideboard against the wall and she wanted to look at it more closely. As her eyes traveled down she noticed that one of the panels was open and that there were actually records in there and she was curious about what he had in his collection.

“Ummm, Dr. Styles, can I look at the records?” She asked nervously and he looked up from the form he was reading over, with a friendly smile.

“Certainly!” He encouraged her and she slowly got up and went over to look at the records inside of the cabinet. She smiled as she recognized a handful of them as she flicked through them. He also had some candle going on another little table by the window that reminded her of her mom’s bedroom, it was maybe the same one. When she spared him a glance she saw that he was still looking through the forms her mom had brought and she bit her lip nervously when they made eye contact.

“Y-your office is nice.” She said as she made her way back to the couch and he smiled.

“Thank you.” He expressed his gratitude at her compliment.

“I especially like your rug, it’s really cool.”

“Yeah? It’s my favorite thing in here actually.” He said excitedly and she smiled nervously, “Did you see any music you liked?” He asked and she nodded.

“Obviously the Beatles and some Elvis.” She said and he smiled, “And your Wings ones, Paul is my favorite Beatle.” She explained.

“Get out of town, mine too!” He grinned and she smiled wider, she was still looking really nervous, “So apart from having sick taste in music, what are other things that you enjoy?” He asked and she started to talk a little bit more about her interests. Harry learned that she played guitar and that her favorite classes in school were Human Biology and choir, and that she was considering joining the drama club, and a few other surface level facts. She seemed a little hesitant to talk about herself though, almost as if she was concerned that she would say something wrong.

“You know, it’s my job to listen to you, no matter what you want to talk about and I won’t judge you, so if anything comes to mind you can just say it.” He assured and she exhaled and nodded, “Is this your first time trying therapy?” He asked and she nodded.

“Yeah.” She then responded verbally, “I’m kinda nervous, I guess, sorry.”

“It’s normal for you to feel nervous when you’re doing something brand new.” He assured her, “What about it makes you feel nervous?” He asked and she sighed and looked down at her fingers that were twisting together in her lap.

“Just…I don’t know…I mean first of all you’re a stranger.” She said and he hummed.

“True.” He said and she shrugged before proceeding.

“And I guess I’m nervous that it won’t work on me?” She said in a questioning tone as their eyes met again and he bit his lip as he listened to her express her concerns over treatment and what had happened with the counselor at her school and it was honestly very disappointing to hear her experience.

“I’m so sorry that happened to you. I understand why you’re so hesitant about this, but let me let you in on something. Whether this works or not is totally up us being a team. It’s my job to listen, guide you, and give you tools to help you get better and it’s your job to try and use the tools I give you as recommended. The only way it won’t work is if one of us is not doing our part, and I promise you that if you decide to stick with me I will always do my part.” He said with certainty and a friendly smile and she nodded, “Of course, sometimes just talk therapy isn’t sufficient or isn’t working as quickly as we’d like and if that’s the case we can talk about medication to help. So if you really feel it’s not helping you can tell me so that I can make sure that I am doing everything I can do to get you back on your feet.” He explained and she nodded along again

“Well, I hope this works.” She said and he chuckled.

“I promise you I will do my absolute best.” He reassured her and she smiled and with that he started to get into the session. He started to explain to her the confidentiality clause and what kinds of things are excluded from that, he went over his role and responsibilities as the clinician, and then they started going over the questionnaire she had filled out, and what she wanted to get out of therapy. As Harry listened on he jotted down a couple things that stood out and his own questions that he wanted to ask and the longer she spoke the more it was evident that she was experiencing some depression. As she finished recounting her side of things he took over explaining what he thought would be the best treatment plan for her and how he wanted to approach her situation.

Celeste liked the way he talked to her and how he expressed himself very clearly. When he answered her or asked her a question she could tell he had listened to everything she had said and was so patient. The things she felt were confusing sometimes and he didn’t push her when she would answer with an “I don’t know”. He was just so nice that she felt comfortable with him quite quickly, a lot of the stuff she had told him about what was happening at school, she hadn’t even told her mom and that was new for her because they were quite open with each other. But once they wrapped up she felt really good and she had decided that she wanted to give him a chance.

“So in terms of scheduling, we need to work that out with your mom right?” He asked and she nodded, “OK, perfect. I’m going to have her switch with you in just a moment, but just so we’re clear, like I said at the start, anything we talk about in session just stays between us. I’m just going to go over some of the formalities with her and answer any general questions she might have for me. But if you would like me to be able to share your progress or any information about our sessions with your mom then you can always sign a release, but only if you really want to.” He offered.

“Thank you, I’ll give it some thought. And ummm, do I call you doctor or?” She asked and he chuckled.

“I prefer my name, Harry, but if Dr. Harry or Dr. Styles is more comfortable for you then that’s OK with me too.” He assured with a kind smile and she nodded and they both stood and headed to the door.

*************

As soon as the office door opened up Diana flew up from her seat and locked her phone. She saw Celeste come out and then Dr. Styles emerged with a small smile and that made her feel more at ease.

“Mom, he needs to talk with you now.” Celeste informed and Diana nodded.

“OK. I’ll be just a few minutes.” Diana said and reached for her bag before she followed him back to his main consultation room. She had a look around when she walked in and when she went to sit, she sat on the side of the couch nearest to his chair as Harry went to grab his laptop before settling into his seat.

“Is she alright?” Diana asked and he smiled.

“Yeah, she’s good. She did great, by the way.” He reassured her.

“That’s good to hear. I don’t know if she mentioned to you what the school counselor said to her?” Diana asked with a frown.

“Yes, she did. That must be extremely concerning to learn as a parent.” He acknowledged and she nodded, “And I can assure you, that will not be the case here.”

“I would hope not.” She said with a slight chuckle, “I have been to therapy myself and I had such a great experience, I just want to make sure it’s the same for her and that we find the best fit for her and that she won’t be pushed to the side until she’s in distress.” Diana explained and he nodded in understanding, “About how many clients do you have in total?”

“I have 35 total right now.” He said, “Of those 35 I’m seeing 10 on a weekly basis, 15 on a biweekly basis, and the other 10 on a monthly basis or as needed as they have already completed their treatment or just need their medication dosages adjusted.” He explained and she nodded.

“Oh, OK that’s pretty good.” He smiled and nodded, “And you specialize in CBT.”

“Yes, but I do have a more Humanistic approach which is derived from-”

“Dr. Carl Rogers.” She cut in and Harry smiled and nodded.

“Precisely.” He grinned, “And I will assume you know what his approach is about?”

“Yeah. I don’t mean to be a know it all, after I was in therapy I got really into learning more about it and did a minor in clinical psychology in my undergrad.” She explained and he hummed.

“Oh, no worries! It’s good that you know though. Especially with the younger patients, it’s good to see when the parents are invested. Celeste seemed to really understand the process today, which I’d like to think I’m thorough, but I’d assume you walked her through it before.” He said with a smile.

“Yeah, she was so nervous, I gave her a little run down on the way here.” Diana explained with a smile.

“Well, it worked! She opened right up once we got past the daunting stuff.” Harry assured her.

“Oh wow, that’s typically hard for her. You must be good.” She said and he chuckled.

“I think we just have the same taste in rugs and music.” He joked and she laughed a bit before looking back into his eyes.

“So in terms of your assessment, what do you have in mind for a treatment plan?” She asked.

“Well, starting out I would like to see her once a week, treatment is typically 8 to 10 weeks give or take, just depends on her progress.” He explained to Diana who nodded.

“OK, that sounds reasonable. In terms of charge, what is your rate?”

“I’m charging $125 a session. I do offer a special for new clients, if you commit to three sessions I use your intake fee towards the third session.” He explained.

“Oh, why three appointments?” She asked with a curious smile and he chuckled.

“In my experience it’s enough to have a somewhat comprehensive diagnosis at that point. And also by that point people will have hopefully learned some basic tools to use in the future. Also, that’s the point where you start to get annoyed with your therapist so a lot of people flake out for a while. And well for the people that just come in trying to get prescribed meds I mean, that’s a lot of work to go through and so they’ll just fall off the face of the earth.” He said with a grin.

“Oh, I see. That’s smart! Is that something that happens a lot?”

“It has happened to me a few times here, the university is nearby so a lot of self-diagnosed ADHD or OCD people.” He said and she grinned.

“Ah, TikTok fallacies.” She hummed and he nodded.

“Exactly! A lot of them don’t like to hear that they’re perfectly normal with a few quirks.” He explained.

“Geez…I don’t think I ever considered how challenging this job must be.” She said and he chuckled.

“There’s more good days than those kinds of days.” He assured her.

“Well, it’s good to hear that from you.” Diana said and he smiled, “Sorry, back to the topic at hand, how much is it for today’s session and do you accept insurance at all?” She asked.

“Not yet, unfortunately. I’ve submitted several applications to be a network provider but it’s been a nightmare.” He explained with a small frown, “But it’s $100 even.” He said.

“I can imagine the circles they must walk you in.” She sighed through a dry laugh and he nodded.

“You would not believe.” He joked back and she shook her head as she dug through her tote bag for her wallet and pulled out a crisp $100 bill and handed it to him.

“I promise it’s real.” She joked and he laughed.

“Well now I feel like I need to check.” He joked back but headed to his desk and pulled out a little iPad where he started inputting that to give her a receipt. She continued looking around his office, recognizing the scent of the candle burning by a little table he had near the window. Soon he was back before her with a receipt in hand and she took it and started to put it in her bag.

“Well, Dr. Styles-”

“Harry is fine.” He cut in and she nodded.

“OK, well Harry, it was lovely to meet you and I will have a chat with Celeste, see what she thinks and ummm, in any event I’ll be in touch.” She said and he nodded.

“I appreciate that. It’s good to know when people decide to go in a different direction, otherwise I’m left wondering.” He explained and she nodded.

“It’s just professional courtesy, in my opinion.” She shrugged as she fished her keys out of her purse and he saw her university ID on the lanyard.

“Oh, you work at the university?” He asked in slight surprise and she glanced over to him as they approached the door.

“Yeah, I’m the newest faculty member in the World Languages department.” She disclosed.

“Oh, that’s neat. I actually just got hired as an adjunct professor for the department of Mental Health & Behavioral Intervention.” He said with a bright smile.

“Oh congrats! What’re you teaching?”

“It’s a graduate course on Tele-health. After the pandemic it’s important to be able to translate our skills through virtual sessions and a lot of people are having trouble with that. It’s a new class. I teach it twice a week.” He explained and she hummed in interest.

“That sounds really cool.”

“Yeah, thanks. Well, I don’t want to detain you any longer, but it was a pleasure to meet you both.” He said as he opened up his office door and led them through towards the reception area.

“Likewise. Thank you so much for your time.” Diana said turning back to him once more.

“Of course. And Celeste, chin up.” He encouraged her with a smile and she nodded, offering back a smile and soon they were riding back down the elevator in silence. They settled into the car and Diana glanced to Celeste.

“What did you think of Dr. Styles?” She asked and Celeste smiled.

“I like him. He was easy to talk to and he’s really nice. I want to try another session.” She said and Diana smiled.

“OK, sweetie. I liked him too, he’s very sweet.” Diana agreed.

In a few minutes they were taking off and Diana was driving them to the grocery store to pick up something for dinner. She couldn’t stop thinking about how there was an air of familiarity with this Dr. Styles. If his session with Celeste went anything like their conversation went, she was very happy with the type of help he could provide her. She liked that he still remained professional without making it feel too formal or rigid, there was flow and it was noticeable that he really enjoyed his job.

************

Harry sighed contently as he bid farewell to his final client of the evening and locked up the exit door in his office. He then went to the reception area and also latched that door shut and switched off the lights before heading back to his office. He plopped down into the chair behind his desk with his note pad and opened up his laptop to start typing out his session notes from that day to put in the patients’ electronic files. He then got to Celeste’s notes and started to create a new file for her in his system. He needed to scan in all her paperwork and session notes. Just as he was about to start scanning his phone rang and he saw it was his girlfriend, Rebecca, and he smiled and picked up.

“Hey, love.” He greeted her with warmth.

“Hey, babe!” She responded cheerfully, “How was your day today?” She asked.

“It wasn’t all that busy, but I might have a new client on my roster, things went well so I’m hoping to hear back soon.” He said.

“Aw that’s great! I’m happy for you, H.” She hummed.

“Thanks, love. What’s up?”

“Well I was calling because I was wondering if you’d be able to join me for something tonight? I know it’s super last minute, but a colleague of mine is friends with the mayor’s wife and she knows about my aspirations in city government and she thought she might introduce us. It’s just a little fundraiser for a clinic on wheels, cocktail attire is what she said.” Rebecca explained and Harry nibbled on his lip pensively.

“Mmmm, I have to prepare for lecture tomorrow…what time is it at?”

“It’s now. But they she said it’s over at 10pm. My colleague, Joanne, is gonna be there until about 9:30, but she said to come earlier rather than later as Mayor Singh might not be there until that late.” She explained and Harry nodded as he pulled up his calendar for the following day and saw he didn’t have many client’s scheduled the next morning.

“Ummm, yeah I can make it. Tomorrow is pretty slow, I can work on my lecture then. I just need to finish all my client notes right now.” He informed.

“OK, thank you so much, babe! Is half an hour enough time? I can pick you up? I’m just changing and touching up now.”

“Yeah, that’s plenty of time. I’ll see you in a bit. Love you.”

“Love you too, bye.”Rebecca said before hanging up. He let out a deep exhale before rolling his shoulders back and standing to get the scanner on and finish up Celeste’s file.

Harry and Rebecca had been dating for almost two years. When they met, he was on his least couple months of his residency and she was fresh out of law school and working on the legal team for the community mental health center he would do some of his hours at. Every year they did a mandatory training on the procedures in the case of a malpractice suit or of a subpoena. Since they were a community clinic a lot of people that came through were court mandated clients and it wasn’t out of the norm for the court to subpoena the doctors, therapists, or social workers working with that particular client - it was fairly routine. Either way, that is how their paths crossed and she was actually the one who approached him shortly after their first meeting. Rebecca was bold and had big ambitions, this wasn’t something Harry could see himself being entangled with in the long run, but when they started to date she started to slow down and he figured that maybe her goals were changing a bit.

Because Harry was fresh out of med school and had a little more time on his hands, he was eager to jump into anything that wasn’t school related and when Rebecca asked him out he said yes. Rebecca was smart, gorgeous, and very pleasant, what wasn’t to like. He doesn’t think either of them were looking for a serious relationship when they first started out, but all on its own it kind of became serious. Something that worked well for them was that they both were kind of workaholics, they were both ambitious and out their professions first and they both liked that they were of the same mentality because it helped them not to feel so strapped down. He was always more of a loner and he enjoyed his space and she was very much that same way and so things worked and they didn’t mess with it and here they were today.

Sometimes Harry did wonder if their relationship was normal; what they had was working for them, but in a way there was kind of a distance between them and many of their friends didn’t really get that. He recalls that at one point his best friend, Henry, once said that it seemed that the relationship was just convenient for them and while he took offense and disagreed immediately, Rebecca responded first and asked Henry if it was wrong that a relationship be convenient? And well, after a big fight about that Harry and Rebecca cleared up that it was OK that they were progressing slower than other couples because they had a lot going on personally and that if it worked for them then there was nothing they needed to justify to others. What did worry Harry was that every aspect of life felt like a routine and he knew that while consistency is great, routine could also be damaging to relationships and Harry didn’t want that for them. He did love Rebecca and often worried that the routine they’d been in this entire time would lead to their slow, but certain demise.

The time passed him by quickly between doing his notes and his thoughts and before he even realized it his phone was ringing again with her name lighting up the screen. This meant that she was downstairs, so he quickly shut everything down and he slipped his laptop it into his lockable drawer and rushed out. He popped a piece of gum in his mouth as he rode down the elevator and as soon as he stepped out of the building he waved as he approached the car and then slipped into the passenger seat.

“Hi love. You look nice.” He hummed as he leaned over and kissed her cheek quickly.

“H, I just did my make up…” she sighed as she flipped down the visor to check her make up in the mirror.

“M’sorry.” He said as he switched on the overhead light so that she could see if anything was out of place, “I don’t see any damage.” He assured and she glanced to him and rolled her eyes before leaning over and puckering her lips out and he chuckled as he kissed her quickly on the lips.

“You’re lucky there’s no damage.” She said as she settled back into her spot, “You’ve got lipstick on your lips now though.” She grinned and he huffed and rubbed over them with his palm as he took off. The drive wasn’t all that long and the event seemed to be pretty packed when they arrived. She did a loop around the block and found no parking so they circled around again to the entrance.

“We’re just gonna have to do valet. S’cash only, though. Do you have cash?” Harry asked and she sighed.

“I don’t have cash do you?” She huffed.

“No, sorry.” He sighed, the only cash he had received was Mrs. Beltran’s payment earlier and that was back at the office.

“Fuck, I don’t want to miss the mayor.” She groaned and Harry nibbled on his lip.

“I can find somewhere to park, you go on. I’ll meet you inside, yeah?”

“Are you sure?” Rebecca asked and he was about to respond, but he jumped when he heard some knocks on the window.

“You can’t stop here unless you’re going to park valet!” The man shouted through the glass and Rebecca rolled her eyes.

“Yes, yes! I’m getting off!” She called back in an aggravated tone and Harry chuckled. Rebecca had a rather short fuse, he got it, he did too, and while he was now used to it, it wasn’t something that made her very likable to people who only experienced that part of her. Harry hurried out of the car to get to the driver’s side.

“Sorry, mate. I’m just dropping her off.” He said and the guy just nodded and she rushed past them and towards the entrance as Harry settled into the driver’s seat and took off down the street. He was able to find a parking spot a few streets down in a residential area, luckily no permits were needed and as he locked up the car he opened up his phone to let Rebecca know he was on his way over and he saw a text from her.

Becs:

Hey H, it’s invitation only! Text me when you’re up front!

Harry sighed as he started the walk over and as soon as he got there he texted her letting her know that he was outside and then five minutes passed…then fifteen…he even showed the guy with the list the text and he said he needed her to verify that he was her plus one, even if it were via text. He tried calling and she still didn’t answer and so now he was grumpy and hungry and decided to just go back to the car and pick up something to eat until she decided to check her bloody phone. Unfortunately, he had left his wallet in the office as he left in a rush and all he had was $5 on his apple pay from god knows how long ago and he was able to score himself a burrito which he ate in the car. It had been nearly an hour before Rebecca called him to come up front and so once again, he made the walk over and she was waiting at the steps of the venue.

“I’m so sorry, babe! Joanne was chatting with the mayor and his wife right when I got there and we were able to talk for a while and I couldn’t pull out my phone!” She explained as they made their way inside and despite his irritation he just nodded.

“It’s OK, things happen.” He assured her, “What were you able to talk to him about?” He asked curiously.

“Oh, just some ideas I have when I run for office as a council member.” She said vaguely because she knew that he had no real interest in that and he hummed as they made their way further in. He was able to meet Joanne and her wife, Michelle, they were sweet and nice to talk to and it was around half an hour later when they decided to go out for some drinks and dinner. Harry was still in a sour mood from his multiple walks to and from he car and he had already eaten. Joanne was nice enough to drop them off at their car and Rebecca agreed to meet them at some restaurant before getting out.

“Babe, can you just drop me off at my car? I ate while waiting for you and I’m just not feeling up to staying out tonight. It’s already 9:30.” He said and she sighed as he unlocked the car.

“Yeah, that’s fine.” She said as she opened up her door and then groaned, “H, my car smells like Mexican food.” She whined.

“I’m sorry, love. I was super hungry and there was no garbage can and I wasn’t gonna leave it on the street. I’m sorry.” He said again and she just sighed as she turned on the engine and rolled down the windows.

“It’s fine.” She huffed as she started texting on her phone for a moment before they took off again. The drive back was a bit tense though, despite that when she dropped him off at his office building she kissed his lips quickly and bid him a good night before taking off. Harry was left to wander back upstairs and grab his wallet before he left for the night.

This was why he wondered if their relationship was normal. As a mental health professional, he knew that all relationships looked and functioned differently, but he didn’t feel awful about things with Rebecca. Just now, he was irritated with her and she with him and they just got over it, it wasn’t anything serious that they were irked about, so it didn’t warrant a long conversation, they just needed to grow up and get over it, like they had. And it wasn’t always this way, they hardly ever argued and they did love each other. But sometimes when things like this would happen he wondered whether they were truly just with each other because it was convenient, like Henry had said, and they had both settled for each other because they got on so well and were like-minded. He knew he wanted more of a relationship but he didn’t know if his relationship with Rebecca was capable of that, they hadn’t really talked about it properly. He didn’t feel like it was sometimes and it worried him that he was just wasting her time and his time.

*********

Diana knew it was late, but over dinner she had a lengthy conversation with Celeste about how serious she was in continuing to see Dr. Styles as her therapist and she was very serious about it. She said she felt really comfortable around him because the way he talked to her was similar to her uncle Damian, Diana’s brother. He lived in Mexico, but they visited each other regularly and since Celeste didn’t really grow up with a father figure he was someone that she looked up to a lot. Either way, this prompted her to call his office and she would leave a message about wanting to schedule another appointment. She wasn’t sure why she was so nervous leaving the message, maybe it was how soothing his voice sounded in the greeting, despite him saying that if it was an emergency whoever called should dial 911 - it was the delivery of it that made her feel a little out of sorts.

“Hi Dr. Styles, or ummm Harry, you had said to call you that. I’m sorry it’s late.” She said and then shook her head as she thought to herself ‘that’s the point of voicemails, idiot’, “Anyway, I just wanted to give you some of the times that would work best for Celeste to start treatment. So, Mondays work, but 6pm would be better as my office hours end at 5:30pm. Or Tuesdays and Thursdays also work anywhere from 5 to 7pm, and Fridays after 3pm as well. Just ummm, yeah let me know what works best for you. If none of these work out just let me know and we can figure something out, you can also email me as I’ll be teaching tomorrow and that may be easier for me to check. Thank you for your time today, I appreciated it, have a good night.” She said and pulled the phone away about to hang up and then realized that she hadn’t even said who she was, “Oh, ummm this is Diana Beltran, by the way! Sorry, I forgot to-”

“Your message has been recorded-” the machine cut her off and she groaned, “to play it back press 1, to re-record press 2, to delete your message press 3. If you are finished you may-”

“Ughhh…” she groaned in irritation and hung up, cutting off the monotonous voice from continuing to speak. She wasn’t about to do that again, so she just set her phone down and continued packing up their left over chicken and rice for their lunch the next day.

************

Fresh out of the shower, Harry got in a t-shirt and sweats quickly before hopping into bed. He lived two blocks away from the university campus, so the house he lived in was originally old and small, but with gentrification and all it looked a lot more modern now and the property had been reconfigured to give optimal space, it was rather nice. It had a lot of character, is what he would tell people. Over the pandemic he renovated the bathrooms and re-invigorated the original wood flooring of the home and even now, he continued with his project on updating things just a bit during his free time. Either way, he was happy here and he found it easy to rest in his space. He reached for his phone to just kill some time before he drifted off to bed and as it lit up he saw that he had a voicemail forwarded from the office phone. He always checked just in case he needed to call 911 for a client or something. So he opened up his phone and immediately played the message and brought it up to his ear to listen…

“Hi Dr. Styles, or ummm Harry, you had said to call you that.” The gentle and soothing voice spoke and he immediately smiled as he pictured the person it belonged to, Diana. “I’m sorry it’s late. Anyway, I just wanted to give you some of the times that would work best for Celeste to start treatment. So, Mondays work, but 6pm would be better as my office hours end at 5:30pm. Thursdays also work anywhere from 5 to 7pm, and Fridays after 4:30pm as well. Just ummm, yeah let me know what works best for you. If none of these work out just let me know and we can figure something out, you can also email me as I’ll be teaching tomorrow and that may be easier for me to check. Thank you for your time today, I appreciated it, have a good night.” She finished and he heard a bit of shuffling for a few moments before he heard the last bit, “Oh, ummm this is Diana Beltran, by the way! Sorry, I forgot to-” it suddenly cut off and he chuckled to himself a bit.

His office phone had a time limit on the messages and he had no idea how to fix that. He was tempted to get out of bed and grab his laptop to look at his calendar to figure out when he could schedule Celeste so that he could return her call first thing in the morning, but he needed to chill out. He wasn’t sure why he was so eager to figure this out for them. Actually he was…she was striking. Absolutely gorgeous. From the moment they met he was drawn to her just because of her looks. But more than that, she was so sweet and clearly smart, and she was amicable and so easygoing, it drew him in. Harry told himself that he was thinking of her because she had left a voicemail and obviously, she was now stuck in his head. And his mind kept bringing back one thought: Someone like her had to be taken. Just then, his phone buzzed in his hand and it was a text from Rebecca apologizing once again for getting upset at him for the food thing and telling him good night. He assured her it was alright and wished her a good night before deciding to just get to sleep. The last thing he needed was to be in shambles and exhausted for his class the following day and more than that, whatever curiosity Harry had towards Diana ended now. Yes, she was beautiful and she seemed like a nice and wonderful woman, but he would be seeing her daughter as his client and entertaining those ideas of her wouldn’t be beneficial to anyone.

*************

After Harry got far too excited over hearing Diana’s voice last night, even if it was over voicemail, he decided that he needed to set up a boundary before he got too invested in her or developed any type of crush on her, as he had decided the night before. Her daughter, Celeste, had chosen to continue seeing him as her therapist and the relationship with her was his priority now. After emailing Diana back about scheduling (instead of calling back), his day went by rather slow. Harry was dedicating a lot of his time to review his lecture material for his class that evening. His class was technically an elective, so he had students who were interested in or leaning towards only providing therapy online. His class was actually a good number, they capped them at 30 for the graduate students and he had 23, so it was good that this topic had cultivated interest. He did have to mentally prepare himself though to be as stoic and neutral as possible because some of the women in his class were not subtle at all. And even thought they were closer in age to him, he was still their professor and the last thing he wanted was to give anyone the wrong impression and get himself into trouble. He wasn’t cocky, but he knew he was a handsome man and he was really nice, so he just wanted to be sure no lines were ever blurred or that a misunderstanding was even remotely possible. That was honestly his biggest stressor; he had been a bit nervous about actually teaching the students and being able to convey information to them, but as soon as he started doing it he felt comfortable and he understood why so many people loved to contribute to the growth of their profession in this manner.

************

On her busy days, which were Tuesdays and Wednesdays, Diana’s best friend, Grace, would be the one to get Celeste from school. Diana was lecturing non-stop on Tuesdays and only got an hour break before her final class of the day, which started at 6pm. So now, she was rushing down the street to her favorite cafe on campus, Café Flores. It was a little over a 5 minute walk from where she lectured on Tuesdays, but even if it were out of her way, she would always find an excuse to go. Since most students were at dinner, it was slow at the cafe at that time. She would always order the same thing, the guy at the register smiled when he saw her come in.

“Hey, professor.” He said as she walked up, smiling as well.

“Hi Nico, how’s it been?” She asked.

“It’s slowing down.” He said with a smile and she nodded, “What can I get started for you?” He asked.

“I’m gonna do the 20oz today, café con leche.”

“The usual.” He smiled.

“I sized up, OK?” She said and he chuckled.

“And half & half is OK?”

“Always.” She said and he grinned.

“Anything else?” He asked.

“I’m also going to get the avocado toast.”

“With everything?” He asked.

“Ummm, no crema and no onions.” She said and he recited her order before submitting it and taking her payment. The owners of this cafe were originally from Chiapas, Mexico - the opened this place up in the late seventies and as they grew older their children took it over and it’s such a wonderful atmosphere to be in; it reminded her of being back in Mexico. And this spot was so popular that when the neighboring business relocated they bought it as well and that’s more of the study lounge vibe students are looking for. They were just as, if not a little more popular than the Starbucks across campus. It was really amazing to her how well this business had evolved to continue being around for that long.

“Professor Beltran?” She heard kind of from a distance and as she zoned back in and looked away from the little card with the shop’s story she blinked a few times before turning to her left and looking up to see none other than Dr. Styles who was smiling down at her.

“Oh, hello!” She smiled bright and stood immediately, extending her hand to greet him, “What brings you here?” She asked.

“I teach tonight and ummm, the last two weeks I’ve seen most of my students with cups from here and I thought I should check it out.” He said and she nodded.

“It certainly beats Starbucks.” She said and he grinned.

“Oh, perfect.” He hummed and she nodded, “You teach today as well?”

“Yes, I’ve got three classes today.” She explained and he grimaced and she chuckled.

“I know.” She sighed, “But to be fair this last one is an elective on Latin American art & culture so I don’t do as much talking as I do visual aids.” She said and he chuckled.

“That’s good.”

“It it’s a three hour class though, so I am pretty pooped afterwards but you know about that with the graduate students.” She said and he nodded. She remembered. Harry thought to himself.

“Order for Diana!” The girl at the pick-up station called out.

“Excuse me for a second.” She said to Harry.

“Oh, you can go if you need to, no worries.” He assured.

“I was actually going to stay and eat here, I lecture in the building just around the corner and it starts until 6pm. You’re more than welcome to join me if you’d like.” She said and before he could overthink it he nodded.

“That’d be nice, I still don’t know too many people.” He explained and she nodded.

“Yeah, of course.” She assured and hurried off but came back quickly as Harry was settling into the spot across from her and she was settling in.

“Do you want some?” She asked and he shook his head immediately.

“Oh no, I ordered something as well. But please get started.” He assured and she nodded and went for her toast right away. She finished chewing and hummed.

“Always hits the spot. I haven’t eaten since 11:30.” She disclosed.

“Oh god, I would be a proper grouch if I went that long without eating.” He said and she giggled.

“So you get hangry, I see…so does my teenage daughter.” she teased and he chuckled as he shook his head at her little joke.

“I mean, most people do.” He said and she shrugged her shoulders.

“That’s fair.” She responded and he chuckled again.

“You don’t?” He asked her and she shook her head.

“No. Being a parent often means staving off your own needs for your kids, even hunger. I will admit sometimes I forget to eat-”

“You forget to eat?” He asked in shock and she giggled.

“If I’m really busy. It’s usually during the end of the semester, but I don’t think any of my classes will push me to that this quarter.” She said and he nodded.

“Well good.”

“Yes.” She grinned. Then they called his name and he came back with his own order. He just had a regular black coffee and a capirotada - which is essentially a bread pudding.

“Ooh, good choice.” She said and he glanced up to her.

“Oh yeah? He told me it was like bread pudding.”

“It is! They make it really good here, it’s not too sweet or cinnamon-y, it’s just right.” She said and he nodded.

“Oh good!” I just got this because it looks kind of like a dessert from England and I admittedly got a bit nostalgic.” He explained himself and she smiled; she understood that feeling very well.

“Yeah, I get that.” She nodded, “So have you been in the US long?”

“Yeah, I came over for med school, so I’ve been here about…10 years?” He said, “Oh shit.” He then said lowly as the realization struck him and she laughed lightly as she watched it unfold before her.

“Do you miss England?”

“Some things I miss, but I really like it here. It was a fresh start.” He said and she nodded in understanding.

“Yeah, we need those sometimes.” She acknowledged, “But look at you now, your own practice and everything. Even teaching now!” She said veering the topic into a more positive light and he chuckled bashfully as he reached for his coffee.

“Living the dream.” He said and she quirked her face a bit with a confused smile because she did not miss the sardonic tone in his voice.

“You say that like you’re not convinced of it.” She called him out, which surprised him and he shrugged before he decided that he would explain himself to her.

“It’s just like, you work so hard for something…literally dedicate everything you are and all of your time and resources to it to get there and once you do it’s kind of the feeling of like “that’s it”?. Do you know what I mean?” He asked, an existential crisis was close if they were to continue not he topic of him so he had to turn it around and she hummed pensively at his question.

“Kind of… I mean, I hear med school is…horrific.” She said, “Highest suicide rate, no?” and he nodded.

“Well, three times more likely than our peers.” He corrected her and she frowned, it was still alarming. She had friends who had gone to medical school, a few dropped out because it was too intense, so yeah, maybe he was very valid in feeling like all of that made it out bigger than it needed to be.

“So it is horrific.” She said again an the sighed, smiling bit now despite the morbid topic they had just touched on.

“I love learning and I do love school, maybe that’s why I came back to teach… so ummm, I wouldn’t say it was horrific for me, but definitely challenging…and I don’t know, I was just one of those people that were so focused on school and being excellent in that capacity that I didn’t it as much as I could have or made the good kind of memories with the people around me. Like several of the people in my cohort were married over the last couple years and well, I wasn’t invited because, we were classmates but I didn’t take the time to make them my friends. And just little things like that, that I wish I had valued more at the time.” He explained and she hummed with a small frown, “And well now, yes, I have my practice, but having your own business is very time consuming and it makes it hard to have my own life too, you know? I love what I do, trust me, I would’ve never gone through with med school if I didn’t. I would do It for free! But like there are times in which I wish I didn’t have to answer a phone call of a patient in distress in the middle of a date with my girlfriend. Or have a patient go through that angry at my therapist phase and fear I’ll get sued and lose everything.” He chuckled and she did as well.

“Yeah, wow, that is…intense.” She said and he nodded.

“It is and again, I love to do it and I love to help people, but I’m still new at this so I’m just getting the hang of it. I’m sure I’ll be able to find balance with some time, but it does feel like I never will be able to start living my life sometimes.” He expressed, “Do you ever feel that way? Being a mum? Sorry, if that came out weird, Celeste mentioned that you were quite young.” He tagged in and she shook her head.

“It’s alright,” Diana assured him, “and not really… I don’t feel that I missed out on my youth or anything like that. I wasn’t all that social in college anyway.” She explained and he hummed in understanding, “Kind of also threw myself into the work and well, I had a baby, and well it’s not like I was a 16 year old mom, but being 19 with a baby still makes people look at you differently.” She shrugged and Harry frowned slightly upon hearing this.

“People are dicks.” He said and she smiled at his lame attempt to comfort her after what she had shared, but it wasn’t necessary, that had stopped bothering her a long, long time ago, “And Celeste’s dad? You guys were young, how does he feel about that?” He asked and Diana suddenly looked down at her coffee cup before clearing her throat and glancing into his eyes.

“Ummm…h-how’re you liking teaching?” She changed the subject all together, so fast and abruptly that Harry just went along with it, barely even noticing that his previous question had been completely ignored.

“It’s been great! I was dying of nerves beforehand but as soon as I got up there it just felt amazing to know that I could share what I knew like that. It’s made me fall in love with my profession even more.” He admitted and she smiled.

“Yeah, that happens to all the great teachers I know, at least.” She shrugged and he smiled before digging into his capirotada. He moaned in satisfaction at the taste of the dessert.

“OK, that’s phenomenal.” He said after he swallowed down the bite he took.

“Oh yeah, it’s a classic.” She agreed and he hummed.

“I can see why.” He acknowledged.

They continued to talk a little bit more, though he noticed that after he had brought up Celeste’s dad the topic stayed more at the professional level as she discussed teaching and the university, and curriculum designs. He felt bad for bringing that up, but he was curious as Celeste had talked about her dad, but very briefly and he had meant to ask more questions, but then they progressed to something else in the session and he just wanted to know more about their family unit - maybe she wasn’t married like he initially assumed. Either way, after the reaction she had, he felt like he needed to apologize for it, but it seemed that just changing the topic was enough for her. Just as he was about to ask her something else her phone started ringing and she glanced down to it.

“And that’s my 15 minute timer!” She announced and his eyes widened.

“Already?”

“Yeah.” She giggled, “Time flies when you’re having fun!” She exclaimed and he grinned.

“I guess so. I should probably head out too, I’m lecturing further than you are and I walked too.” He said and she nodded.

“Then yeah, you should.” She agreed as she stuffed the last bite of her toast in her mouth and they both stood to clean up their table a bit and gather their things. “Well, it was nice running into you. I hope your class goes well.” She smiled and he nodded.

“Yeah, yours too.” He returned her well-wishes and then they both made their way out only to realize that he had fallen a few steps behind her as they were heading in the same direction, “I’m not following you, I swear.” He said and she laughed; she had a pretty laugh. “You’re fine.” She assured him.

“Well, while we’re going in the same direction I guess I have a sort of question about something.” He said hurrying up to match her pace and she nodded, “So in my field, it’s a female-dominant one and ummm, obviously, my class is mostly women, there are 2 or 3 guys in it, but ummm, some of the women are-”

“Oddly friendly?” She grinned up at him in question and he smiled, a cute dimply one that made her heart race in a way it hadn’t in a long time.

“Yeah, ummm, to put it nicely.” He confirmed bashfully, “I just don’t want to accidentally miscommunicate things or give the wrong impression. And I can’t deal with it as a therapist because it’s a different scenario. In therapy we just tend to confront it directly and I don’t know it that’s the best approach here too? I do notice some of them looking at me in certain ways or just being a little flirtatious with me and I don’t know… I just don’t want to mess something up. Is that something you’ve dealt with?” He asked and she nodded.

“Oh yeah, being a young professor comes with unique challenges and ummm, yeah, some of my students have put me in a position like that too and I learned that when you directly confront it they immediately deny it and then make you feel like you’re being a cocky asshole or presumptuous, which also sucks.” She sighed, “H-have you ever had a client do that to you?” She asked and he nodded.

“Once or twice, but I was still a resident and like working in my fellowship at the time so I had a lot more help to navigate that.” He explained and she nodded, “I just got switched to another rotation, it was in a psych ward so it wasn’t like I was the clinician, it was more 51-50 situations, so I was just providing the meds while we were allowed to hold them.” He explained and she nodded.

“OK, so yeah, in this scenario, if they flirt or hint at liking you just act normal, don’t acknowledge the flirtations and advances if they’re very subtle, keep it professional, set the boundary with your response. But if they start to come on stronger or in more obvious and bold advances, like I once had a student ask me if we could go out after the class was over and I wasn’t his professor anymore. Or if they bring you gifts,” She shared, “then you can be more stern in reminding them of the boundary. I know with graduate students it’s a little different as they are full-fledged adults,” she said, “but if there are students who just seek you out without reason or are just trying to get close to you, obviously try to keep those interactions documented. So if they want to see you try to keep it over email or zoom, document meetings and appointments on your calendar, things like that. We often think that we need to not have any evidence, but paper trails are your best friend if you’re not a sketchy person!” She explained.

“OK, that is the best advice I have ever received.” He smiled and she nodded.

“I came up with that one myself.” She grinned with pride and he chuckled, “Here’s a suggestion, I don’t know if you’ll need it for your courses, but I make a calendar for my office hours for each class and add all of my students to it, they can then book their own appointments, but everyone else who is in the class sees, kind of like a virtual sign-up sheet. In my experience it dissuades those students who are just coming by to “say hi”, as they like to say.” She said and he hummed, “That is time consuming though, so if anything just try not to let them catch you alone, causally bring up you’re in a relationship, stuff like that.” She smiled.

“OK. Yeah, I just don’t want them to take it too far and I have to do something more serious about it, you know? Like I get having crushes on your teacher, in Med school I had this o-chem professor who was so attractive, I was one of his best students and he was like a genius, he was about my age now and I knew that he kind of liked me too. There was this unspoken tension that we both just…lived with for that entire semester, but he never said anything about it. He just let it be and then after I finished his class he just kind of never spoke to me again. I didn’t take offense to it, I know that once a line like that is crossed it just makes it easier for it to happen again. But it’s hard being a sapiosexual while running in academic circles.” He said with a breathy chuckle and she nodded as she started to slow down.

“Oh definitely, I’m with you on that one!” She giggled in agreement, she was a fellow sapiosexual and knew all about that on her own, “But I think he was smart about how he dealt, your professor.” She said and he nodded, “So yeah, just be nice about it, don’t make the student feel awkward about it if it’s just a crush. And well I’m sure the magic’ll wear off after midterms.” She joked and he laughed as they came to a stop in front of a large lecture hall.

“Most likely.” He chuckled, “This you?” He asked and she nodded.

“Yep! Well, Dr. Styles it was lovely running into you.” She said again.

“Likewise, Professor Beltran. And please, s’just Harry.” He insisted once more and she smiled and nodded.

“Right. Well, I’m just Diana too, so umm yeah. I’ll uh-see you around. Have a good night.” She bid him farewell.

“You too!” He called after her before he continued walking towards his class with his heart racing a bit more than it ought to. But he was walking at a relatively quick speed and he’d just had a plain coffee with an extra espresso shot, so it was likely that his heart was reacting to just that. It was ironic really, the conversation they had just had. He had too many questions for and about her and his interest was piqued after this. All he knew was that the next time he went by the cafe he would be taking his order to-go, he couldn’t sit with her like this again.

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