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#i just think she's the funniest person in the world
yauchfilms · 2 days
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so american ✢ max verstappen
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pairing: max verstappen x singer!reader
warnings: none; just some silly shit, some swearing, google translate dutch
summary: y/n is teasing way too many things at once…..can the fans keep up? 
author's note: this is NOT an original concept i am aware of this. but this hasn’t left my brain in days. i’ve got a very specific vision so let me cook. i know i haven't posted on here in over a year but i've returned an f1 fan. enjoy!
yourname added to their story! 
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liked by delwatergap, maxverstappen1, and 3,491,842 others
yourname: i think i'm in love with montreal. sorry i’ve been so off the grid but i am Loving Life so hard. so much inspo in my life rn. will talk soon i promise. love u all bunches 🫶🏼🌷
ynsbestfriend: hey queen you have done it again!
-> yourname: ugh i love you so bad
user1: UM BAE WHOS THAT IN THE LAST SLIDE?
-> yourname: beats me! 
-> user1: i do not trust you. 
lilymhe: hiiiii pretty girl
-> yourname: stop im blushinggggg
user2: i fear she’s in her lover girl era 
-> user3: girl help im so fucking scared right now what’s happening
user4: so does any of this have to do with your story from yesterday??????
*liked by yourname.*
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maxverstappen1 added to their story! 
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yourname added to their story! 
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liked by honeymoon, danielricciardo, and 3,572,679 others
yourname: life's been a beach lately. clearly i've been loathing my time in spain ://///
user5: IS THAT MAX
-> user6: no bc it HAS to be
heidiberger_: Loved spending the week with you! 🤍
-> yourname: same!!!!!! let's do it again sometime 🥰
-> user6: NOT DANNY RIC'S GF COMMENTING?????? AND LILY MUNI HE ON HER LAST POST???????
user6: no bc even if her and max were dating and she's been traveling with him why have we not seen her in the paddock
-> user7: to throw us off our rhythm????
-> user8: what if they debut at his home race in spa ijbol
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liked by landonorris, taylorswift, and 4,683,892 others.
tagged: maxverstappen1, redbullracing, and ynsbestfriend
yourname: hahaha felt like dropping 2 things at once on u guys LOLLLLLLLL. thank u to redbullracing, spagrandprix, and the city of spa for letting me and my friends crash the race the other week to film the “so american” music video, and to maxie for winning in ur home country. it was so fucking special to be there supporting u. i love u baby!
ps. another thank u to max for thinking i'm the funniest person in the world and making fun of my americanness for as long as i've known him (which is quite a while).
enjoy this tune guys. it's urs forever and i hope u love it as much as i love the person it's about 🫶🏼 🇧🇪 🇳🇱 TU DU DU DU!!!!!
user9: OH NMY GOD I FUCKING KNEW I SAW U IN THE GARAGE
ynsbestfriend: thanks for letting me third wheel mommy
-> yourname: no one else i'd rather drag along!!!
danielricciardo: Welcome to the family! Song's a banger although I can't believe it's actually about Max of all people 🤢 GROSS!!
-> yourname: jealousy is a disease danny.
user10: i actually cannot fathom this this is so me core
alexandramalsaintmleux: I am so glad to know you! Your happiness is everything 🩷
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liked by sabrinacarpenter, carlossainz55, and 4,783,522 others. 
tagged: yourname and ynsfriend
maxverstappen1: Spent a week away in New England with my talented, gorgeous girl. Loved getting away and experiencing America through her eyes! Consider me an honorary American now! Also, stream “So American” wherever you choose. It's about me 😉 
yourname: does this mean i can stop hiding in the garage now???
landonorris: Happy for you mate! Love the song as well yourname 🤍
-> yourname: awe thank u lando 🥺 i got more to show u when i see u next!!!!!!
redbullracing: ❤️💙
user11: MAX IS IN HIS LOVER BOY ERA
danielricciardo: How many more times can you say American?
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liked by charles_leclerc, chappellroan, and 3,694,849 others
tagged: maxverstappen1
yourname: nothing like celebrating the best 2 weeks of my life than showing my boy around ye olde stomping grounds #soamerican
liamlawson30: This is so American of him
-> yourname: like he fits in so well!
lydianight: u'll have him in the american flag board shorts in no time
-> yourname: baby steps :///
user11: she really is in her lover girl era 🥺
clairo: did you take him to the chipotle that is also a historic landmark downtown??
-> yourname: dude of COURSE i did. he said it was "interesting"
yourname added to their story! 
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836 notes · View notes
xximenasblog · 3 days
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~Ellie Headcanons~
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Author's Note: These are just my opinions :) Should I make more parts?
Ellie has an absolute obsession with Cuties Clementines. She loves them and will eat one after another, leaving random orange peels around the house.
Ellie is cold ALL the time. Her hands and feet are always freezing. She thinks is the funniest thing in the world to randomly put her freezing hands under your shirt.
Ellie, whenever she's feeling horny in the mornings, says with a smirk "but baby my hands are cold. Can you warm them up for me?" You already know she is going to finger you until her hands are "warm" enough ;)
Ellie hates singing in front of you (even if you compliment her voice all the time). You love when you catch her off guard and listen to her soft voice outside the room.
Ellie collects dinosaur pajamas. She even has a few of the same pattern, but in different colors.
Ellie keeps a polaroid picture of you in her wallet. She always smiles when she looks at it. She may even touch herself while staring at the photo, if she's really desperate (which is all the time).
Ellie uses 👎🏻 in most of her text messages (dad vibes).
Ellie loves saying "that's an orange cat activity" whenever she sees someone do something weird. She doesn't care if that person hears her or not.
Ellie is so dramatic when you forget to cut the crusts off her sandwiches. "I thought you really loved me. I guess our relationship has been an absolute lie" she says before giving you the silent treatment until you apologize to her.
Ellie makes her friends uncomfortable by saying "it's because I'm gay isn't it?" whenever they don't agree with her.
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elitehanitje · 2 days
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“Well, I would like to talk about that story with the Oklahoma State Athletic Commission and the warning they issued against AEW when we featured Nyla Rose on a show in Oklahoma City last December.  I was really surprised by this; it was not something I was expecting and of course, I was disappointed by the commission’s position by that warning, I don’t think we did anything wrong. I’m really, really shocked by it.
I don’t think there should be discrimination against transgender wrestlers or transgender people at all. They have rights, and to that end, I absolutely stand by Nyla Rose. AEW stands by Nyla Rose and all transgender people who want to play sports. And this is wrestling, there was nothing wrong with it.
Nyla Rose is a great wrestler, she’s a great world champion and I love Nyla. I love working with Nyla and she’s been a great part of our history, she was the first transgender world champion ever, and she’s a great part of the AEW Together program. She does a ton for the community, she’s a great person with a great heart.
She’s very supportive of the other wrestlers, one of the funniest people on social media; I’ve personally nominated Nyla to TBS for the best social media presence on more than one occasion over the years. She’s an AEW original, she’s been part of this team since 2019, going back to the first year of AEW, the first shows, and the first Dynamite.
And look at everything Nyla has accomplished, and to just put that label on her, it’s just not right. She’s much more than that. She’s a great athlete and I hope everybody can look at Nyla and see that she’s a great wrestler and she deserves the same chances as everybody else. And if the AEW locker room — which consists of people from all over the world, all kinds of different backgrounds, beliefs — if everybody in the locker room can embrace Nyla, I would hope that the Oklahoma Commission could do the same thing.”
-- Tony Khan
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Hi hello and howdy
Since I can't contain my thoughts here's all the "Mirage" logicistics. Basically they either swap or enhance ones personality, heres a few examples:
Mirage Lenore is way more looney and impulsive, with a practically nonexistant off switch having to be dragged off screaming before she sets anything on fire, her group mainly sticks with her for fear of their own lives and she and Annabel are ALLOWED TO BE GAY!!! HOORAY!!! They still have the pretend to hate each other thing but thats mainly due to Annabel's paranoia
Mirage Duke is a shit magician who constantly looses parts of his tricks, he's also like WAYYY too overdramatic, the kinda mf to fall over if you steal his chip,
"MY CHIP!!"
"Its... its just a crisp.."
"I WAS GOING TO EAT THAT!"
"Oh my god..."
So yeah, pathetic cringefail looser LMFAO, but he is the kinda person to pull a "OMG MY BEST FRIEND! MOVE!" And shove whoever out of his way
Mirage Pluto is if you took a wet cat and made him a golden retriever. He's very hyperactive, social, easily distracted. Mf is like "wanna hear abt my hyperfixations?!" Talks and doesn't wait for an answer a neat thing i did with some characters Mirage's is i inverted stuff abt them like hair, emblems, all that. He still thinks M! Duke's magic is cool
Mirage Berenice is a feral little creature, constantly biting or nibbling on things (mainly Eulalies arm, or her own. I dont think chewlery exists in the victorian era). She's also the queen of being unhinged, in spectre form shes somewhat normal at least. For the most part she's in her own world
Mirage Eulalie is the mean autistic, less into creepy/old things n thinks their lame and/or weird. She's the one dragging Berenice around and keeping the gang from falling apart. Her and M! Morella really out here sharing the only group braincell, shes also blunt as fuck and wont hesitate to tell you you look bad. I wanted to lean more into the japanese part of her character so she just kinda- speaks more of it now (lol idk how else to explain it)
Mirage Morella, like M! Eulalie, is a mean autistic. She's less emotional, and more of "I dont give a damn just get me out of here.", sticks with whatever group she's feelin that day tbh. Won't tell you you look bad, will probably just call you a dumbass and leave
Mirage Annabel is kinda like regular Annabel but without the "Life is like chess" mentality. So more jumpy, kinda a walking talking mental breakdown waiting to happen. Excess paranoia and increase of hallucinations cus pookie and I decided we aren't giving her a break
Mirage Prospero is no longer fancy and polite, he is sopping wet germaphobic wet cat. He will go through great lengths to avoid disease, faints around blood and puke, screams at the sight of his own rats (or just rats/bugs in general), actively raising his and Annabel's blood pressure with how scardy he is.
Mirage Montresor is imo the funniest one cuz he's just a polite little gentleman, doin all the chivalry shit like opening doors, pushing chairs in and out, saying his pleases/thank yous/welcomes, he's even calling everyone "Sir" and "Ma'am". He's still an asshole, but you really gotta provoke him to see that
Tbh, I didn't think much abt Mirage Will since Will to me is kinda just there as Monty's lackey who gets kicked around. SO he's less of a pushover, more demanding, up and refuses what people tell him, bullies M! Monty, he tried bullying M! Ada and M! Morella but bro got his ass kicked. On top of it, he's unfortunately more sexist and stubborn. No more people pleasing ig 🤷‍♀️
Finally, Mirage Ada. What I wanted to do for her is have her be an absolute girlboss who is always serving 100% of the time. Everything she does is her choice and for her and her friends, and and and shes Aroace too, pretty chill when she has to reject someone just like:
"Hey i like u"
"Oh! I don't feel the same but we can still be friends?"
"Ok"
EPIC HIGH FIVE
She also beat M! Will up, good for her
So uh, yeah! Thats all i got. If you have questions, feel free to comment or ask in the askbox. :)
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butchviking · 5 months
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genuinely it's such a shame that as an adult ur like not even allowed to selfharm bc its #cringe. idk what if its a fun silly laugh what if its just harmless and something to do. oh im allowed to smoke and drink myself to an early grave but im not allowed to do some silly little crisscrosses 🙄 adulthood is soooo boring
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whiteshipnightjar · 1 year
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JOANNA NEWSOM! 🥳️💖🥳️ January 18th, 1982
“If you were a world leader, what would be your first law? Gravity. I feel like we need to tighten up the constitutional protections that particular law enjoys. It’s a ticking time bomb, if you ask me. Who would be your top advisers? Cute angel on one shoulder, cute devil on the other.”
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grimmjowjaegerjaquez · 3 months
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if i was someone with any kind of consistency i couldve been known for ach'm. my stupid sexy frog man. (who is also a cyborg)
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My brain would not allow me to rest until I created this. Please enjoy.
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slavicafire · 20 days
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we've been living in this apartment for two months now, and while we've observed most of our new neighbours (my slavic Windowsill Watcher Grandmother gene already activated), I don't think they had the chance to see us often enough to recognise us yet.
I do know, however, from my observations, that the tiny funny dog upstairs is called Gucio. I've passed him once or twice during his walk and heard his owners use the name - and, while both the dog and his owners are oblivious to our existence, Gucio became an apt topic of discussion in our house. you know, we hear barking, ha, that's Gucio, he must be home alone again! or there's a stick left by the building door, that must have been brought by Gucio and he was forced to abandon it before entering! a household name, really.
yesterday as I was leaving to go to the store, walking down the narrow staircase, there he is! tiny funny looking dog, slightly startled by me suddenly appearing on the floor he just reached on his tiny funny looking legs.
"good morning Gucio!" I say joyfully, the most natural thing in the world.
well. remember that Gucio doesn't really know me. so he looks at me in the most flabbergasted way a dog can look at a person. he is positively aghast. agog! not sure how aware dogs are of their own names but he seemed genuinely puzzled at the apparent stretch of social convention.
and as I try to contain my laughter, I see his owner standing on the stairs below. the woman is sort of awkwardly frozen, speechless, and she looks at me.
"you... know each other?" she asks.
is that not the funniest way to phrase it. is this not the funniest question she could have asked. ma'am do you know my dog? you went to school together perhaps? you've met? do tell, are you old friends? maybe you worked together? you know each other, my dog and you? this dog? you know him? he knows you? he never mentioned you I'm afraid
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just-rogi · 1 year
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She has got to stop fucking white British men for like a month to get it out of her system then she will be normal again, like people with caffeine addictions who can’t go three days without coffee or they get physically sick, shakey, and have severely impaired judgment
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astonmartinii · 8 months
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into the arms of another part two | max verstappen social media au
pairing: max verstappen x reader
part two to this !! part three
yourusername
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liked by arthurleclerc, maxverstappen1 and 661,230 others
yourusername: winner winner chicken dinner !! congrats maxy i’m so proud of you always
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user1: i know charles’ head is hot right now
user2: i hope netflix are taking notes cause this tea is steaming hot
maxverstappen1: thank you baby, helps when i have the prettiest cheerleader in the world
yourusername: i am the sexiest sargent in all of the orange army
maxverstappen1: too right you are
user3: i miss when y/n was the head of the tifosi the red monochromatic fits ate so hard
user4: i need charles to pull his head out of his ass and apologise so we can reclaim her before monza
user5: do not even bring up the fact we may not have custody of her for monza
danielricciardo: leave some for the rest of us maxy
yourusername: no actually i think it’s illegal for max not to win sorry
danielricciardo: will that change if charlie apologises?
yourusername: considering that hasn’t happened and doesn’t look to be happening any time soon - no.
user6: CHARLES PLEASE DO SOMETHING
user7: he doesn’t have to do anything, she’s just bitter cause she’s always been the bridesmaid and never the bride. we ALL know she’s always loved charles and she can’t handle that she’s not the centre of his attention it’s kinda pathetic
maxverstappen1: what made you think you know any of us enough to comment something like this? what told you that you even had a right to talk about y/n like that? she’s everything you could ever wish to be and more and she will never ever deserve the things you people are saying about her. charles would be lucky to have y/n in his life platonically or romantically but it’s his loss
user8: boyf of the year right here
user9: charles take note ^^^ this is how you’re meant to defend your best friend
landonorris: i am once again asking for photo credits i’m not gonna be your personal photographer for free
maxverstappen1: i literally paid for your dinner
yourusername: you’re literally a millionaire
landonorris: i don’t care a man still likes to be wined and dined
yourusername: just to make it clear we are not looking for a third
user10: i promise i can change your mind give me a chance
f1tea
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liked by user11, user12 and 2,349 others
f1tea: charles leclerc caught liking this tweet about the situation between him and y/n. seems like he won’t back down on this. what do you think?
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user13: i need this mans head on a spike i’m so serious
user14: i want to play pinball with the single marble in his head
user15: i think ferrari have genuinely caused real head rot in him cause no way he thinks this is a serve
user16: let's be real charles' biggest rivals are ferrari and himself
user17: not this man at his BIG AGE is liking shady tweets about his best friend
user18: i think it's safe to say they're not best friends any more
user19: also "biggest rival" my ass max and charles are fucking friends now so this whole narrative is complete horse shit
user20: i'm so bored of charles playing the victim bro YOU ARE THE INSTIGATOR YOU ARE THE PROBLEM
user21: the way charles is liking shit like this but max is writing whole ass essays in the comments defending her
user22: and that''s why i'll always back that she ended up with the right man
user23: max is so far in the lead in the championship i need him to take charles out for the narrative
user24: are we in high school? like seriously this is so fucking petty i cannot wait for media day this weekend
user25: he's either gonna be the funniest man in the world or he's gonna bite someones fucking head off
user26: and i'll back it either way
user27: i know y/n is about to have her revenge dress moment in the paddock someone get kym illman ready STAT.
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f1wagsupdates
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liked by lilymunhe, carmenmundt and 4,530 others
tagged: yourusername
f1wagsupdates: REVENGE DRESS MOMENT !!! y/n y/ln enters the paddock in monza in this stunning black dress, showing the world what a catch she is, oh and that is max holding the umbrella for her, what a gentleman.
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user28: mother came to slay i cannot even
user29: this right after max came for charles in the press conference is PERFECTION + NO RED IN MONZA !!
user30: i see lily and carmen in the likes in knew they'd be on the right side
user31: girl i don't think anyone is on charles' side
user32: yall see the stink eye from the red bull garage when charles walked past they have y/n's back LOL
user33: the red bull garage been ride or dies for max so it defo makes sense that they would extend that to y/n
user34: christian was defo waiting for a question about it in the press conference
user35: someone on twitter got a clip of him putting his arm around fred going out of the paddock and telling him to get his driver under control
user36: yall are we on the kardashians what the fuck is going on
user37: people may hate christian but he defends his driver so much that he's inserting himself in the relationship drama
user38: i don't even follow f1 but whoever this is this serving oh my
user39: this is so exhausting like i need charles to just apologise so we can get cute y/n x max x charles content
user40: torturing myself thinking about how cute that dynamic could be
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f1
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liked by yourusername, maxverstappen1 and 1,203,457 others
f1: max verstappen clinches his tenth win of the season at monza, joined by sergio perez and oscar piastri. home heroes charles leclerc and carlos sainz came together at turn one, awful showing for ferrari in monza
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user41: this narrative is so so poetic
user42: i feel bad for the tifosi at this point y'all get your hopes up every season
user43: charles you aimed the wrong way if you wanted to take max out
user44: the way max kissed y/n after winning god they're so cute
user45: also the way christian got everyone to move so y/n could get to the front to see max
user46: even marko looked happy about it what is going on?
user47: y'all we knew it was gonna be bad for ferrari y/n wasn't wearing red, call me superstitious but every time she's worn red charles has either won or been on the podium
user48: well that's just what he gets for not appreciating her
user49: as fernando would say KARMA
user50: someone check charles' blood pressure please
maxverstappen1
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liked by christianhorner, yourusername and 1,304,662 others
tagged: yourusername
maxverstappen1: winning on and off the track, some of you can't relate.
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user51: parents omg
danielricciardo: fighting words maxy, not pulling your punches
maxverstappen1: i do my fighting on the track, not my fault people can't get past turn one to give me a real battle
danielricciardo: i need to be inside your brain
maxverstappen1: no there's images of y/n in my brain that no other man will ever see
danielricciardo: you crack me up maxy
yourusername: woah who's that fine ass piece of woman
maxverstappen1: she's taken sorry
yourusername: that's a shame, i hope that man is taking care of her
maxverstappen1: i don't believe she's got any complaints
yourusername: wow you sound like a gentleman, she's a lucky woman
maxverstappen1: believe me i am the lucky one.
yourusername: awwww maxy you're literally the sweetest person in the world
user52: if i was charles and i saw this after that race you'd have to restrain me i'm so serious
user53: i'm happy for y/n and max but i need them to stop being happy in my face
alexalbon: ur welcome for that first picture btw
yourusername: lily taught you well
alexalbon: so no thanks?
yourusername: i joke thank you very much sir albon
user54: so like all of the twitch quartet are on y/n's side? awkward.
yourusername
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liked by maxverstappen1, georgerussell63, 706,835 others
tagged: charles_leclerc
yourusername: charles and i have been best friends since i knew what the word meant and it really hurts that is has gotten to this point. when charles got his first girlfriend i chalked it up to the excitement of the experience, but when he routinely got in and out of relationships and falling back on our friendship once scorned, i started to question what he really felt about our friendship. i overlooked it every time even when it made me doubt my worth and hoped our friendship meant more. however, the cycle continued and after being left stranded at a beach in a country i do not know i decided it was the end. i have reached out to you so, so many times and want nothing more than our friendship to work and so we can be life-long friends that we can tell our kids about. but i guess it's not worth that much to you and that's something i'll have to reconcile with. the only positive coming from this the fact that it pushed me to the love of my life, so thank you for that.
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charles_leclerc
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liked by joristrouche, pierregasly and 1,305,783 others
charles_leclerc: i've already got my trophy, sorry not sorry.
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user56: WHAT THE FUCK
user57: my brain is actually scrambled
user58: charles' must be as well cause no way he thought this was a good idea
landonorris: so this is a low blow
charles_leclerc: since when were you the reference point for morals
landonorris: damn dude, you're in the wrong but go off i guess
user59: why do i actually want to cry for y/n right now? she did this whole ass heartfelt post with no comments so people wouldn't be able to speculate and he replies with a pic of his gf's ASS
danielricciardo: not cool dude
charles_leclerc: i see you all took her side and our friendships mean fuck all
danielricciardo: kinda ironic you bring up respecting friendships
charles_leclerc: spare me the lecture
maxverstappen1: you're a child. but this is the closure she needs. cheers to being an asshole.
charles_leclerc: so you managed to get some of my sloppy seconds, you're welcome
maxverstappen1: she's not sloppy seconds and i can't believe you'd refer to her as that. but if you wanna talk sloppy seconds you can hold the 100 point gap between us in the championship. and y/n will never say this so i'll say it for her GO FUCK YOURSELF
user60: SHOTS FIRED
user61: men are so confusing
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yourusername added to their story
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[caption: taking some time for myself. thank you for your kind words and know i have an amazing support system around me now]
f1wagsupdates
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liked by user65, user66 and 5,430 others
tagged: charles_leclerc
f1wagsupdates: charles leclerc spotted outside y/n y/ln's office with flowers this afternoon. idk at this point, any time i report on this man i lose more brain cells.
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user67: lol even wag page admins are done
f1wagsupdates: he gives me a lot of content but damn he needs to sort his head out
user68: lol this is gonna be an all time apology tour i can't wait
user69: i honestly don't want y/n to forgive him he doesn't deserve it.
user70: yeah max has proven ride or die for y/n so i know who she should stick with
user71: i need him to donate his brain to science cause in what world is a measly bouquet of flowers gonna cover all of this shit ?
user72: legit he's systematically ditched his best friend, let randomers on the internet drage her name through the mud and then liked it and then flaunted the fact that he didn't care about their friendship for everyone to see
maxverstappen1: lol nice try
user73: my petty king i love him so much
user74: i know y/n is taking a break from social media but i hope she knows how much love she's getting
user75: for real we're all on her side i hope she slammed that door in charles' face
user76: i hope that bouquet ended up in the bin
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maxverstappen1 added to their story
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[caption: special delivery for a special girl]
note: i know this was heavily requested so here it is!! i really like it and it's defo open for a third part if yall want charles and y/n to reconcile? thank you for reading xx
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feyascorner · 4 months
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jealousy looks good on you
summary. Astarion realizes you're jealous after a night out at the tavern where he must gather information from another. And him being him, teasing ensues.
warnings. fluff, idk just two idiots doing idiotic things, Tav here is good oriented, sorry to evil tav players,,,
pairing. Astarion x GN!reader
a/n. I love morons in love,,
You were not jealous. Especially not of that damned elf practically hanging off from his arm.
You'd encountered devils, walking brains, even the greatest of beasts during your adventures, yet not once have you felt nothing but utter annoyance. Like an obnoxious fly circling your head insistently no matter how much you swatted at it.
You'd never considered yourself possessive of your dearest companion. Sure, you were protective of him at times, but so were you with the rest of your group, especially knowing what each person had gone through in their lives. And while being lovers might've given an extra kick to that boundary, by no means were you excessively watching him like a hawk.
But now here you were, not watching him, but her.
Information, you remind yourself. You'd nearly forgotten why he was even tolerating her behavior in the first place, because even if he was flirtacious by nature, his tendencies narrowed down towards only you after your conversation at Moonrise. You knew he dreaded this as much as you, but the information that woman had was a must—and Astarion had insisted he could help out.
You were sincerely regretting even entertaining the idea now.
She has her chest pressed flush to the toned muscles of his arm, making sure he’s aware of what qualities she has to offer. With a bat of her lashes, she lets out a shrill laughter when he mumbles something, playfully hitting his chest as if it's the funniest thing in the world.
You’ll show her something really fucking funny at this rate—
Patience, you remind yourself. Breathe. In and out. This is unlike the qualities of a hero trying to save the city. Shooting an arrow at the woman would do nothing but cause panic. Why did you even want to get so violent in the first place? A little minor bump in the road shouldn't make you this angry, should it?
You seriously don't want to watch anymore—especially when he leans toward her to whisper something in her ear and she lets out that rage-inducing giggle again—so you down the rest of your alcohol and run a hand down your face.
You don't notice his eyes glancing at you every few moments, too busy calming your nerves.
A few minutes later, you hear the scrape of his chair pushing back and a rush of relief floods you when you see him stand, face content in a way that tells you the mission was successful. You thank the Gods above because any more of this and you certainly would've committed some sort of crime-
The woman takes his hand, shaking her head before giving him a sly smile. The breaths you took earlier seem to have no effect the second she motions towards the door, her fingers still wrapped around his hand like a death sentence.
You should trust him, you think.
He's had more experience in this than anyone else.
You can't see his expression, but the second you see hers drop, you're suddenly moving across the entire tavern. He whips around when he hears your steps and the relief on his face almost calms you. Almost.
“Hello, dear,” you accentuate. And though your eyes are trained on his, you're more focused on the woman from your side view. “Ready to leave? Sorry I had to catch up with a friend earlier.”
He raises a brow for a moment, and you suspect it’s because you were never supposed to even be in the plan. You suddenly feel hot under his gaze and look away, embarrassed to have let your emotions alter the mission so much—but he seems more than pleased. In fact, the bastard grins.
“Yes, my love,” he snickers, snatching his arm away from the woman and looping the other around the waist. “Let us hurry. I cannot stand another moment being unable to ravage you under such—prying eyes.”
Somehow, your face gets hotter.
Before the woman can respond (though you doubt she even wanted to), he's leading you out the tavern into the cold air of the streets for a much needed breather on your part. You're almost certain you won't be going to that tavern for a while.
“‘My dear’?” he mimics, his lips stretching wider. “I’d believed I was the one with pet names in our relationship. You'd seemed quite adamant on calling me by my given name after all. Had a change of heart?”
Your voice is a mumble as you retort. “Must be the alcohol.”
“Really? Because if I didn't know any better, and I do,” he stops the two of you around the corner of the building in an isolated spot, forcing you to meet his eyes. “I’d think you were jealous back there, darling.”
“I was just worried about you,” you blurt in a hurry. “Otherwise I wouldn't have butt in and—”
“Oh, my sweet sweet love,” he laughs. “I could feel you glaring from across the building. And I'm sure I could've sworn to see you slam your goblet a few times. No need to be ashamed. Jealousy is quite normal, and I'm more than flattered.”
“I’m not—” you begin, but her face flashes in your mind again. The way she'd touched his arms, his chest, and you knew she'd never know him the way you do. But it didn't quell the annoyance flickering in your chest. He raises a brow expectantly for your answer, and you quietly lift your hand to his arm, dusting it off.
Dusting her off.
And finally, you accept it. “I’m going to burn those clothes.”
He snorts. “I’m sure there's more romantic ways of getting me naked, but this’ll have to do for now.”
“I will. Then I’ll bury the ashes somewhere.”
“Charming.”
You look at him, disappointed—not in him, but yourself. Before you can drown in your own thoughts, he lifts his fingers to caress your face, smiling. “There really was no need to be jealous, darling.”
“I know,” you mutter. “I just—seeing her practically begging for your attention pissed me off.”
“And there's the difference between you and her. If it's worth even comparing at all,” he says, planting a peck to your forehead. “She begs a hopeless cause while I beg for you.”
You roll your eyes playfully. “You don't need to beg me for attention.”
“I’m aware. I know how much you're fond of me and my gorgeous eyelashes.” You sigh at this. “But I must admit that a selfish part of me is a bit pleased by your reaction to that vile woman.”
“Why? This feels horrible.”
“Well, now you get a taste of what I want to do when I see you with that damned cleric,” he groans at the thought. “Yes, I am aware you two are the giddiest of friends, but whenever she puts her hands all over you for the sake of healing—”
You burst into a fit of laughter. “How else is she supposed to help?”
“I’m sure she can heal you from a safe distance away. Preferably twelve feet. Maybe more.”
Wordlessly, you calm your smile and press your lips to his, your fingers running through white curls. He holds you like you’re made of glass, gently.
The kiss is soft, even as you finally pull away. “Stupid vampire.”
“Silly darling.”
You don't complain when he pulls you closer for one last kiss.
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Note
Hey, could you please do a Percy x daughter of Dionysus headcannons pls?
⋆⭒˚.⋆ percy jackson x daughter of dionysus! reader hcs
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content: percy jackson x daughter of dionysus! reader hcs warning: language, i think sexual references??? idk, mentions of death and grief author's note: i might as well just do all the greek gods daughters x percy jackson at this point. look, i love percy, really i do, but where are the leo requests??? the jason requests??? frank??? luke?? guys, save me from drowning in percy requests
the princess of camp half blood has arrived
even before she started dating percy she was little miss popular
shes like that one friend with like no shame or embarrassment, which in turn makes you have no shame or embarrassment and then somehow you guys are apart of a flash mob.
idk how else to explain it, like all inhibitions are gone
actually, it's like being drunk but still being able to think and what not
she, like her father, had a 'revolt against authority' habit.
lets not forget that dionysus got put in charge of camp half blood bc he was pissing off his own father
also, when new campers come and are like mr. d this and mr.d that, she just goes 'the d stands for dad' and walks away
its her funniest bit
she's actually pretty close with her father, but you wouldn't guess it from the way they yell at each other
"OUT OF ALL THE GUYS AT THIS GODS FORSAKEN CAMP?? PETER JOHNSON??"
"YOU KNOW HIS NAME, DEADBEAT. AND AT LEAST HE'S HOT!"
"I DON'T CARE IF HE'S A DAMN MODEL-"
that's love right there
when no one was looking - and i mean literally no one, if you see this, it's the last thing you see - they had their heartfelt moments
"here. it was the deepest back wine bottle i could find. im assuming that makes it the oldest."
"did i ever mention you're my favorite daughter? by far better than all those other ones...and i'm not just saying that because of the wine."
"I know, dad."
when castor died, one of her baby brothers, the first person she went sobbing to was her dad, dragging pollux with her as they both needed their dad in that moment
then she went running to percy, who held her like she would slip away.
percy found healthy ways for her to get her grief out, having found a secluded part of the woods and just letting her grow and kill and grow and kill those plants over and over again.
she'd later take pollux out there, help him the way percy helped her.
following what happened with castor, mr. d approached percy when his daughter wasn't around.
"look, i know we don't get along and you are quite literally the biggest pain in my ass but...i'm willing to be, er, civil. for her."
"you know what? i can look past the years of slander for her, too," percy replied, shaking mr. d's outstretched hand. mr. d rolled his eyes and went to make a smart comment before closing his mouth.
"and you'll look out for her?"
"with every inch of me."
"good."
as much as she loved her cabin, when she hung out with percy it was always in his cabin.
his bed was softer he'd say, but he actually just considered it neutral ground.
to go into the dionysus cabin would be asking to get choked out by vines.
though, the more percy thought about it, the more she was worth it.
his favorite thing to do with her tho is just explore new york
like i mentioned earlier, girly has no shame and will do a cartwheel on the sidewalk if you so much as think about it
it feels like he's seeing the city for the first time all over again, this time through her eyes
and the world was pretty beautiful through her eyes, percy was learning quickly
tho, not even close to as beautiful as her
cheeky bastard
but he’s YOUR cheeky bastard so you put up with his ass
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jyoongim · 27 days
Note
So in the fic where reader is Alastor’s opposite you said she gives him attitude and that just stuck with me cuz I love giving attitude, literally as I child my mom gave me her old flip phone and I’d just flip it whenever someone got on my nerves. Can I please have a funny fic where reader gives him attitude a lot? She loves him but she’s spoiled rotten(his fault). Bonus points if she reads tf out Vox in defense of her man.
Bratty Princess
A/N: I’m not the funniest person in the world so I hope you like this little Drabble @queenariesofnarnia
—————————————————————————————
How could Alastor tolerate you? 
The Radio Demon was feared and many didn’t have the gall to stand up to the man.
You, however, always pushed the demon’s buttons.
You were a brat. In every sense of the word.
You didn’t listen to Alastor, you always gave him lip and fussed.
And the demon wouldn’t have it any other way. He liked that you gave him a challenge. 
You were Alastor’s everything. His little darling that he let do whatever she wanted.
It was his fault really. He spoiled you rotten, giving in to every desire you wished, treating you like a princess.
You loved the attention he provided, happily exercising your rights on the man.
Your bratty attitude came with pros.
You were confident, assertive, and arrogant. Alastor would play your little game until he had enough and put you back in your place.
The cons?
You were stubborn, sarcastic, sassy. You could get away with a lot of stuff and not bat an eye at the consequences. Alastor let you
—————————————————————————————-
The gang watched as you glared at the red demon.
Your eyes were narrowed, arms crossed as you fumed.
Alastor stood before you calmly. His smile on his face, arms tucked behind his back as he nonchalantly tilted his head at you.
What they were witnessing was shocking.
Someone chewing out Alastor and they weren’t shitting their pants.
”You think just because you’re some big and scary Overlord that I will do whatever you say! Well no! I finally have a chance, so I’m going and that’s final!”
you even stomped your foot.
The gang held their breath, thinking you had finally pushed the Radio Demon to the edge.
Their eyes widened when he looked at the finger poked in his chest and leered over you. He grabbed your chin, making you look at him.
”My dear if you wanted to go so bad all you had to do was ask.”
Their mouths dropped.
————————————————————————————-
“No I don’t like it”
Alastor’s eye twitched “You’re the one who wanted them.”
You turned your nose up in the air “I changed my mind. The color isn’t right”
The trembling demons before you almost sighed in relief when you walked away from them.
”Get rid of them” you said with a wave of your hand.
They tensed as the red demon let out a growl and turned to the shivering demons with a smile.
“Well you heard the little lady, you’re no longer needed. So I bid you adieu”
You hummed a little tune as screams ranged through the air.
————————————————————————————-
You were accompanying Alastor on one of his outings. He had some errands to run and you were simply bored and wanted to spend time with your lover.
The two of you walked past a group of bystanders, who were watching Voxtech commercials.
You didn’t particularly need anything from Voxtech, but you liked to see the marketing sales on the tech. You had a keen taste in business.
Vox, always watching, caught sight of you separating from the demon and approaching the store.
”ma cherie?” Alastor asked when he noticed you weren’t following him, he turned to see you looking through the window of the tech store.
A hand on your waist, made you aware of the demon’s present next to you.
Your eyes were fixated on the advertisements.
”No” he said sternly, already seeing the gears turn on your head.
You turn to him, a pout on your lips “But I just want to make suggestions ” You stomped your foot, pouting “come on Al. Why can’t I get a job? I make your radio broadcast a hit!”
”My dear I don’t see the reason you want to work. You can have anything you want if you ask” Alastor said as you began to whine.
You hadn’t noticed Vox materialize behind the two of you.
”You know Voxtech is hiring for a marketing director.”You spun around and Alastor cocked his head at the television, glaring.
Vox smiled down at you, throwing a smug look at Alastor.
”I’ve seen how much engagement your ideas have provided for Alastor, you got a real skill little lady. Why don’t I throw your name in the pot hmm?” He puffed his chest out pridefully.
Alastor latched his arm around you, eyes narrowed at the demon.
Vox ignored him, a sharp smile displayed on his screen.”Why don’t I give you a private tour huh? I’m sure you would like to work with more effective mediums your ideas would surely be appreciated. No need for old-timey wares”
You cocked your head “I appreciate the offer, but I like my position very much thank you”
Vox blinked. You were giving up lavish luxuries to stick beside a fossil?
He chuckled, playing off his confusion “My dear I don’t think you understand…”
You folded your arms, cocking “I don’t think you understand. I don’t need a job. I am provided for happily. I just thought you needed to clean up your marketing techniques.”
Vox screen glitched, before he cleared his throat, “very well but the offer is open.” He sent a invitation to your phone before walking off.
Alastor rolled his eyes as you giggled, giving him a smug look
”Seems I can appreciated elsewhere hehe better watch your back Al”
He walked off and you happily followed.
Why did he tolerate you?
———————————————————————————
Vox got on his high horse and decided he would try and degrade Alastor.
Top of the hour! Were discussing a certain has-been who’s been seen cavorting around town
did anyone miss him? Did anyone notice?
So the Radio Demon is back in town, why is he hanging around?
Well I’ve got good news!
Hes a loser, a fossil, and I don’t mean to sound hostile but the demon is a coward!
He can’t even handle his little sweetheart!
The doll’s got questionable taste don’t you think? He doesn’t even appreciate the little thing! 
She bratted out and he didn’t even give any backlash
Spoiled rotten that one HAHA!
What a pretty addition she could make?
So what do you say?
Your eye twitched as you heard Vox’s patronizing through the radio waves.
You and Alastor were in his radio tower and you watched Alastor hum as he sipped his coffee. 
 You didn’t even say a word as you made yourself comfortable in his lap as you flipped on several switches on his control panel.
”That sack of wires thinks he can just whatever he wants and you’re not gonna say anything? He right! But i will! No one get to get on your nerves but me” you grumbled as you cleared your throat 
Salutations all you wayward sinners!
Yes I know its been a while since SOMEONE with style graced hell’s broadcast!
Sinners you may rejoice!
Instead of a clout-chasin mediocre video podcast
you sneered into the mic
Vox are you that insecure? Stickin your screen where it doesn’t need to be?
At least the fossil is consistent. Everyday you got a new format maybe you should fix that
I have questionable taste? You’ve been screwing the biggest perv in all of Hell!
At least I know where my dick goes
hahaha
You think you’re such high shit! Are you as strong as you purport?
is it based on your support? 
Or maybe its because you’ll be nothing without the Vees!
And here’s the sugar on the cream
He asked me to join his team
I said no and now he’s being a total piss baby
thats the real tea!
You heard Vox growl and the signal glitch, but Alastor made sure to keep the frequency open.
He settled his chin on your shoulder, softly kissing your shoulder.
I wont disagree on me being a brat you got me there
But good dick does that
cant relate can you bottom bitch?
Hows that burnt circuit doing hmm? I would get that checked out
Heard viruses could cause malware function
You signed off the air, huffing, a soft smile gracing your face.
Your victorious high was short lived, when Alastor tightened his hold around your waist.
Maybe you did too much?
He chuckled in your ear, purring as you attempted to melt into him
”That’s my good girl”
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starry-bi-sky · 3 months
Note
the idea of the whole school of Casper high judging wes´s flirting skills and then being horrified that they still somehow kinda work is gold!!
also i feel like somewhere in the future someone in the batfam will ask baby dami how he got the "demon" name since hes a clone and hes just going to look the person in the eye and say "my brothers pet stalker gave it to me"
"MY BROTHER'S PET STALKER GAVE IT TO ME" that's now the only way Damian refers to Wes - that and 'Weston'. And just imagine Danny walking into that room in that moment as he says it, and then perking up and going "Oh are we talking about Wes?" and he walks over to ruffle Damian's hair and affectionately goes, "and he's not my pet, Dames." But he doesn't deny the stalker bit.
(And you know if Wes was there he'd be denying it up and down that he's a stalker - he's an investigator. A detective! Quit calling him that!) And the batfam present all exchange slightly concerned looks with one another and someone -- lets go Dick or Tim or Bruce, goes "Stalker?"
Danny just waves it off with a huff and goes "it's not that serious, don't worry i've got it handled" before changing the subject to something else. Or talking a little bit more about wes without bringing up that he thinks he's a vigilante (which he is).
and also yesss imagine the first time dany goes to bother wes during the middle of lunch and danny says something mildly tame compared to what he normlly does because wes is with a bunch of friends -- maybe he decides to do the "hey Weston, I heard you spreading rumors about me being Phantom?" thing, and he's wearing this bewildered smile
all of Wes' friends are giving Wes this LOOK like 'way to go genius, you got his attention, now what?' and instead of Wes stammering or backtracking, instead he doubles down on it. All of his friends are looking at him like Velvet from Trolls 3 when Veneer revealed that they were phonies. Just utter betrayal.
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just. just this face. the entire table is making that face at Wes as he (to them) fumbles the bag so badly that he may as well have tossed it into a gutter. They all watch as Fenton is weirded out by Wes, and the two of them have this back-and-forth with Fenton poking holes at Wes about him being Phantom and Wes just keeps saying he is Phantom, and he should stop denying it.
When Fenton finally leaves, Wes' best friend turns and thwacks him hard in the shoulder and hisses at him what the hell did he just do? He didn't just miss the basket, he missed the entire damn court entirely! he threw the ball into the stands!
And Wes hisses back at him that he has no idea what he's talking about. Wes' friend calls him an idiot. A big dumb idiot. And then Fenton goes and bothers him in the hallway a few days later. And everyone else?? Flabbergasted.
And then it keeps. happening. Fenton keeps?? approaching Wes? And he sometimes he seems vaguely delighted by their conversations, like Wes is saying some of the funniest things in the world? -- and okay, maybe it is funny that he keeps getting accused of being a vigilante, its funny in a weird way. And Wes looks completely annoyed by his existence -- and you know what somehow this tracks because Fenton was dating Valerie for a time and she was completely annoyed by him when they first met. Maybe Fenton has a type???
Either way, nobody knows how to wrap their head around how Wes's cringefail "flirting" techniques are working. By all means, Fenton should be hating this guy because he keeps accusing him of being his parents' worst enemy (self-proclaimed by the Fenton parents), but instead he just appears bewildered but mildly entertained by Wes' antics.
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jihyoruri · 4 months
Text
 ❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ 𓍢 CAUGHT IN BETWEEN kim chaewon & huh yunjin
prev. masterlist . next
🧋★ ͘ ⴰ 10 minutes of chaewon and yunjin agreeing with each other once in a blue moon 978k views
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➩ CLIP #1 PLAYING… 📼
“yn unnie I love watching my demon, im so proud o f you.” yn reads before letting out a squeal and turning to chaewon and yunjin, “they don’t like the show.” she points at them accusingly.
both chaewon and yunjin jump up in defence shouting in over each other as yn glares at them.
“we like the show.” yunjin says explaining to the fans but yn looks away dramatically.
“we just don’t think dohee and guwon should be together.” chaewon adds, “and some scenes are unnecessary.” she says a little more quietly to herself that fans couldn’t hear but yunjin could and nodded rapidly in agreement.”
“attack them.” yn demands the comments, the fans immediately listen to the girl, attacking the two other members.
➩ CLIP #2 PLAYING… 📼
“pink looks nice on you yn,” the interviewer said to the girl, this whole interview it was like she was only person he could focus every time he was talking to another member he would find a way to drift the conversation back to yn.
“oh, thank you, it always looks good on me.” yn smiles, “I like to think pink is my colour.” she responds as he nods in response telling her that it very much is.
chaewon looked at yunjin who looked back at her with the same expression on her face,as he continued the conversation with yn like the other girls weren’t there
“I finally watched the glory, you playing young yeonjin really freaked me out, you were so good.” he says as yn smiles at the compliment, “you should definitely give me acting lessons, im think im gonna get into acting.”
“oh then you probably need it.” yn responds and he lets out a laugh like she said the most funniest in the world.
the camera pans to yunjin and chaewon who both have faces scrunched up at the man.
➩ CLIP #3 PLAYING… 📼
“red isn’t my colour.” yn mumbles to herself in disgust adjusting her pink sunglasses, but everyone could pick up on it as the girls stood in grass under the summer heat.
“every colour is your colour.” yunjin responds putting her arm around the restless girl as the host announces the next game, chaewon side eyes them clearing her throat.
“it’s hot in both ways, im sticky, im in this ugly red, i don’t like running-” the girls rant gets cut off when her name is shouted asking her to come in the middle.
yn turns to chaewon with pout but the leader just laughs as taps the girls cheek as yn groans and walks into the middle coming face to face with yeonjun.
“you two will be doing a staring contest.” the host starts, “so yn you’re gonna have to take off those nice looking sunglasses.”
“staring is a sport?” the girl asks sassily as people laugh at her obvious dislike for this hybe caterers thing it was amusing to all of the groups.
“in this it is.”
yn groans and turns to look at members who laugh at the girls distress especially eunchae and sakura.
she brings the glasses to rest on the top of her head and stands closer to the txt member fixing her gaze on him.
he steps closer to her as well, a little too close for two certain girls comfort.
“im not liking this.” yunjin whispers to the leader who nods in agreement.
“are staring contests supposed to this close?” chaewon says out loud causing people to laugh be she was being dead serious.
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★my new years gift‼️
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