#i just thought it could maybe make referencing to the series easier

[radiant-reid]

Beyond Breaking // Chapter Two

Aftermath

Summary: The consequences of both Reids' actions are felt in the household and the ripples are felt by the wider BAU family

Content Warning: divorce, heavily referencing 14x15, Truth or Dare

Word Count: 3.2k

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The next morning, Y/n had to deal with the tears. It only further fueled her irritation with Spencer. And it added to the list of difficult situations he'd put her in.

"Where's daddy?" Florence asked, walking into Y/n and Spencer's bedroom after she woke up. One of the problems with having three children is that you have to explain to each one, individually, that their dad is gone when they came in for morning cuddles.

Her hair was sticking up everything, brown curls that were messier than her father's, as her eyes darted around the room in a futile attempt to find him.

Y/n chose to lie about it to Maddie and Bennett, and she did the same thing again without hesitation. "He had to go to work, baby." She lied through her teeth. She'd lied to her kids far more times than she would have liked to.

The tears were almost instant, running down her little cheeks as she clutched her teddy bear tighter. Spencer had brought for her when he missed her first birthday party and she hadn't stopped sleeping with it at night. The dark brown colored bear wore a Cubs outfit, a gift from Florence's uncle which matched her cousin Hank's bear. It was very, very important to the little girl.

It broke Y/n's heart to see her baby like that, so distraught because of her dad, and she felt so guilty for not trying harder. She got out of bed, walked over to the crying toddler, and picked her up.

"Baby." She cooed, running her hand through Florence's hair in an attempt to calm her down. Her daughter cuddled into her neck and wet tears spilled onto her skin. Her face was red, lips contorted and her breathing unsteady. "Hey, what does he always say, Wren?" Y/n asked, bouncing her up and down, hoping it would calm her.

The nickname that Spencer usually used slipped out of her lips before she could stop it. Maybe because the last time Florence was hysterically crying, she had to have a shot and Spencer hugged her exactly the same way after. Y/n could still remember the warmth in her heart at seeing them like that and how proud she was of him for volunteering to get a flu shot even though he hated needles.

"Come on, I know you remember it, smart girl." She encouraged, placing a kiss on her wet cheek.

"He always says he loves me." Her begrudging tone was an indicator of her anger, and Y/n didn't blame her for it.

"And what else?" Y/n prompted.

Florence looked like she was trying to remember it properly, even though Spencer had been telling her it since she was conceived. "And that he loves Lainey, Bennie, and mommy."

That wasn't what Y/n expected her to say, and it wasn't what she was pushing for. She tried not to have a visceral reaction to how deeply the toddler's words affected her. "I meant the other thing." She clarified quietly, determined not to cry in front of her kids.

Florence got it that time. "He will always come back." Usually, Y/n could rely on that fact to get the kids through their sad moments missing Spencer, but it didn't seem so sure anymore.

"He loves you, baby." Y/n reminded her. "And I love you, too." She added, planting kisses all over her cheeks until the little girl was squirming and pulling away. "Now, what do you think about pancakes for breakfast?"

"Can we have whipped cream, too?" Florence asked, clearly feeling a little better about Spencer being gone, and that was all Y/n could ask for.

"Absolutely, and sprinkles." She agreed, hugging her for just a little bit longer than normal before taking her downstairs so she could make her three favorite people breakfast.

Life without Spencer was easier than Y/n thought it would be. Probably because she'd spent 80% of her time in the same situation since she left the BAU all those years ago. Some of it was different, though.

There were no late-night phone calls from Spencer, a frequent occurrence at the peak of their marriage when he was back in his hotel room after hours of working on the same stressful case.

There hadn't been any 'I love you' declarations for some time before he left but she missed them a little more now that he was gone.

There wasn't a pool of despair to swim in because she'd accepted the fact they were finished months before that night in the kitchen.

Everything just felt empty.

And Y/n knew she was a hollow, shell of who she used to be, but she forced herself to think of it as a positive, maybe now she could find who she really was. Every day, she held it together for them, but she couldn't fool herself into thinking things were okay.

~

Spencer had gone where he knew the best place to go was: Emily's. She was his big sister, after all, and it wasn't exactly like he could go to JJ's. Rossi's brought complications since he and Krystal were much closer to Y/n, Luke could have worked but he felt wrong to encroach on his and Penelope's time together, and Tara, without a doubt, would have told him exactly how he was wrong and against his better judgment, he didn't want that.

Knocking on Emily's door, he was still too furious with Y/n to be feeling guilty. "Spence, hey." She greeted him, eyes drifting to the bag at his side. There was no hesitance for her to stand out of the way and let him in. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah." He answered instinctively, stepping in from the plain hallway. "Well, physically."

"Sit." She instructed. It didn't take a genius to know something was wrong with him. Emily had noticed things over the weeks like the lack of phone calls Spencer made to his wife, the fact he didn't share as many anecdotes involving her, and how he hadn't cleaned his rings in a long time. All those little things added up. "I'm making you tea," Emily told him before she disappeared off to the kitchen.

Spencer sat there for a moment, head dropping to his hands as he tried not to think about everything going on in his life. One thing he knew was he'd fucked up.

When she came back with tea, Emily wasn't sure she'd ever seen him such a mess. Even after Hankel, his condition had never deteriorated as quickly as it did from Tuesday night when she watched him walk out of the BAU until now, Friday night.

"You don't have to talk if you don't want to." She spoke, breaking the silence looming over the room. He jumped slightly, so lost in his own world he hadn't noticed her return.

He took the cup of tea that she handed him, all his attention focused on her expensive teacups and the aroma of the liquid. "Did you get this from Penelope?"

"Yeah, from when she was in London with Luke last week." She answered, cautiously watching his every move.

"I know how much she loved going to visit you when you lived there," Spencer commented. Idle small talk was not what he was there for, and one inquisitive look from Emily prompted him to start talking. "I think... Y/n and I m-maybe broke up." He said, voice rising in pitch as if it was a question because he was so unsure about everything. "Is that what it's called when you're married?"

Emily couldn't control her shocked expression, her lips parting slightly. For a moment, she fumbled for what question to ask. Of course, she knew things could look great on the outside but be incredibly different behind closed doors, but she'd never seen them anything but deeply in love.

"I'm so sorry, Spence." She said, reaching out to touch his hand in the hopes of providing him some support. "Do you want to talk about what happened?" Going off no information was difficult, and she had no idea whether it was a spur-of-the-moment call or not.

"I thought things were turning around." He admitted, coming to the realization himself at that moment. "It's really stupid." God, he felt like an idiot. One moment he was telling her he didn't want to live there anymore, and the next he was crying to Emily about how much he fucked up.

She shook her head. "I didn't know anything happened... well, I kind of assumed something must have gone down after... but I didn't know what."

He huffed, tapping his foot up and down like he did when he was anxious. "Something was definitely happening." It was difficult for Emily to figure out what he was talking about without any context clues. It was time for him to start spilling his guts. "After prison, everything was different. I knew it would be, but I tried to fix it... I swear I did."

The tears were already flowing out of his eyes as much as he wanted them to stop. It was like he was a helpless little kid all over again or a helpless adult, trying to convince himself he had done his best.

"I know you would have, Spencer," Emily reassured him, trying to get him to ground a little more before he spiraled by squeezing his hand.

"She just- I know she struggled," Spencer admitted, and Emily nodded in agreement, unable to recall exactly how many times Y/n had been crying on the phone. "And I tried to fix it, but I'm not sure who I am, and I don't think I can love her anymore."

Emily could feel her heart breaking for both of them. They'd survived so many things that she thought they could get through everything. "Do you want to?" She asked, only getting a frown from Spencer whose brain was so far away it didn't register the question. "Love Y/n the way you used to?"

"More than anything," Spencer confirmed, his heart physically hurting when the words came out. "She's everything I've ever wanted... Our family- I fucked up, Em." He seldom called her that, but it was easier than sobbing out her whole name. "The thing is, I don't know if I want to fix it."

"So you're going to let it all go?" She asked, shaking her head in disbelief. Spencer's eyes met hers and he nodded. "No. No, that's not you. You came here when I was ready to throw in the towel and convinced me not to. You never took that plea bargain because you're not a quitter, Spencer Reid."

He shook his head, wiping up a few tears. "Because I believe in you and I believed I didn't kill anyone. I don't believe in Y/n and I anymore."

"I do," Emily confessed firmly. "You two have faced so many difficult challenges together, and you come out hand-in-hand every time. Surely it hasn't all been bad since prison."

Spencer hated that she knew something else was going on. "Things were getting worse after that because there was so little effort, and then, of course, there was LA." That might have been a worse betrayal than Emily dying, and he was only starting to see it now.

"LA." Emily hummed in agreement, raising her eyebrows. "What she did was effective."

Spencer couldn't disagree with that. He wasn't entirely sure they were getting out of there alive, but they did, and JJ deserved credit for that. "And Y/n doesn't understand that." He complained.

"She was just as blindsided as you. JJ is one of her best friends, but the fact you're angry at her for not understanding when she's upset is kind of wrong, don't you think? It's pushing her away." Emily prompted him.

"She should understand it. She used to do this job." He reiterated, annoyed Emily wasn't siding with him. Maybe he just should have gone to Tara's.

There was a pause while Emily watched his expression, absolutely going against the no-profiling rule. "There is something between you and JJ." She correctly guessed. "Even if it's just unresolved feelings from before Y/n."

"She said something, Y/n did, about how so much some of our milestone moments correlate with JJ and Will's relationship and now I can't stop thinking about it," Spencer confessed, his heart still sore about it. All the flip-flopping he was doing made it very clear that he wasn't thinking properly. "Could I just have been faking it this whole time?"

Emily chuckled at the extercential crisis it seemed like he was having. Trust Spencer to overcomplicate things. "That's a lot of faking." She commented.

"I just... I don't think I can love Y/n how I used to. It's not just JJ's fault because things haven't been the same since prison." Spencer summarized, trying to collect his thoughts.

He had never been good about talking things out, and Emily could see he had already made up his mind. "You have to go to therapy." She told him sternly. "Legally, for the FBI, but you need to go with her, too." He was too stubborn to agree without more of a reason. "Even if you're not going to get back together, to help you communicate for your kids."

He did hate it when she was right because she was always right, just like Y/n was. "I mean, I can ask." It occurred to him then that he had slipped so far away from her that he didn't know what she'd think of couples therapy.

"Ask," Emily insisted. "Because I don't know if you can figure this, but I think you want to which is a good start, and I don't think that's a deep-down feeling." She didn't go on to say how in love she still thought Spencer and Y/n were.

Spencer huffed, his foot coming to rest. "Okay."

~

"Alright, who is ready to go to Uncle Dave's?" Y/n asked the three of them who were watching some cartoon on TV.

Almost identically, they sprung up, bouncing up and down with excitement. Even if their parents weren't together, they had the absolute best non-blood family and it was something Y/n was grateful for.

The kids had been told they needed to go to Rossi's because Y/n needed to get a few things done, not a total lie but she wasn't about to tell them she needed to go to couples therapy with their father for a reason unknown to her.

"Mommy, can I bring my coloring?" Bennett asked, concerned he wouldn't get to finish the rest of his picture.

"Of course." She agreed, ruffling his curls as he made his way to the foyer to get pick which shoes he wanted to wear. She put Florence's shoes on, letting Bennett do his velcro straps and Maddie do her own laces. "C'mon, let's get going before we're late."

Surprisingly, it took less time than usual for them to get in the car, and they were quickly at Rossi's mansion. Everyone was excited to get out of the car. Bennett and Florence helplessly kicked their feet up and down, unable to get out of the car without her help.

Krystall was already on the driveway, hugging Maddie who had freed herself from her car seat. When Bennett and Florence were on the ground, they rushed to hug her like their sister was.

Y/n gave her a quick hug once the kids ran inside, determined not to make it too long so she wouldn't be in tears.

"Are you doing okay?" Krystall asked, out of more than common courtesy. They had been quite close for a while, used to watching the men they loved in the same challenging job.

"I guess," Y/n answered. "I'll grab their stuff and come inside to talk to Dave if that's okay." She figured Rossi would be able to give her advice above what Krystall could give her, and she knew he would tell his wife.

Krystall gave her a squeeze on the shoulder. "Of course, it's okay." She assured her. "Whatever you need from either of us."

With three little backpacks in her hands, she stepped into the mansion. It was hard not to be flooded with memories of her and Spencer from the start of their relationship to a few weeks ago. She took a deep breath to get through it, trying to clear her brain a little.

"Hi, Bellissima." Rossi greeted her, pulling her into a tighter-than-usual hug. Y/n hugged him back before pulling back to show him a faked smile. "Come sit." He instructed, adding, "If you have time," as an afterthought.

She nodded, putting the kids' stuff down and making her way through the house until she ended up on a stool at the kitchen island. Out of the patio doors, she could see her three crazy kids already running around outside while Krystall watched them.

"What happened?" Rossi asked once he'd handed her a cup of coffee.

"Spencer did, I guess." She answered with a humorless chuckle. "We- I don't know if we're done..." Her heart hurt more that time, saying it aloud. "But I told him he shouldn't live there, he said I didn't care, there were some insults, and you know how stubborn he can be." She stopped, out of breath and Rossi nodded. "Then we talked about LA."

Rossi clenched his teeth together in a grimacing expression. "LA." Everyone had started saying the city's acronym with disgust. "I've always hated LA."

"He didn't think it was a big deal." She sobbed, trying and failing to wipe up the tears before they fell. Rossi was watching her carefully from across the bench, reaching out to hold her hand for support. "We had challenges after prison, and things went downhill, but I thought they could get better, before LA, that was."

"Y/n, I'm sorry." He comforted her, able to see the pain radiating off her. "Where are you at now?"

She attempted to wipe up some more of the mascara. "I gave him my ring." If that wasn't definitive, she didn't know what was. "He left, and then he text me asking me to go to therapy." Oh, yeah, that was the contradictory part.

"What do you want?" He asked, forcing her to think about the major decision. He couldn't stand to think about another BAU couple breaking up, one he had seen fall in love which made it a lot worse than Haley and Hotch. "Don't answer now, just... think about it."

Half-heartedly, she nodded. "Yeah, I'm going to." She replied like it wasn't something she thought about every moment.

"Whatever you need, Y/n, we're here." He assured her, hugging her again once she stood up before pulling back to kiss her cheeks.

"Thank you." She nodded gratefully. "I'm just going to say goodbye." As soon as she opened the patio door, all the attention was on her. Maddie, Bennett, and Florence all ran over to hug her, knowing what it looked like when someone was going. She kissed each of them on the forehead. "I love you all. Be good."

The three of them waved their identical waves at her as she walked out of the house. As soon as she got outside, she was alone. All alone. For the first time since Spencer left, there was no one she had to put a mask on for.

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[yellowloid]

hey! i was sort of reading “something to rely on” lyrics, and i remembered that you analyse some of miles, monkeys and tlsp songs. so, i just wanted to ask what are your thoughts on this song, cause i particularly think it’s about alex or some of it. anyway, other songs from cdg can be fully about alex, but barely no one talks about this one, so i thought it’d be great to discuss about it.

there’s also “adios tara tara” that i also think it’s about alex, as other songs from change the show, but that’s for another time! i also love your blog, your fanfics and song analysis, they’re always really good! 🫶

sooo first of all sorry for being this late lmao this is kinda embarrassing because this ask was sent MONTHS ago maybe almost a year ago it was so long ago i literally don't remember. i'm only just answering now BUT better late than never i guess skgshdfh

(as usual don't take this too seriously lmao this is just a silly theory, i'm in no way implying it's the truth. it's just delusion o'clock)

now, if you follow me you know what i think of coup de grace as an album - and that is, the fact that it's soooo about alex it's crazy like. bro was so angry and in love and heartbroken????? and he wrote a literal masterpiece of an album????? that's iconic if you ask me

so to no one's surprise, let's follow the usual theory - them having some sort of falling out after eycte because of miles getting serious and alex consequently chickening out, which led to Peak Gay Drama Year, also known as 2018, when they both release albums that - more or less explicitly - contain images that could easily be interpreted as references to each other. something to rely on is no exception:

"crescent moon, left in my drive / all too soon, you made your point"

the reference to the moon creates a pattern, since the semantic field of astral entities is also present in songs such as killing the joke, with "interstellar, dressed in leather, drinking bitter boy" - which as we all know is one of miles' most direct lines when it comes to referencing alex, and it can easily be linked to am's own space-themed album, which miles definitely got to listen before its official release date.

opening the song with a reference to the moon could be a way of @ a certain someone, letting him know that yes, this song *is* in fact about him, if he didn't get the other billion hints in the whole album. (however, for the sake of keeping it vague, i won't be referring to him directly but rather to a ~mysterious person~) (i'm sure you get my point tho *wink wink*) [gunshots]

mentioning the moon could also be a way of referencing the ever-present theme of nighttime encounters in the entirety of mk/am/tlsp's discography: sometimes those encounters are described as fun, sometimes they mean trouble; sometimes, they leave the people involved with a sense of guilt and/or shame, on which we'll come back later and which often leads to bad decisions ("all too soon, you made your point"). in this particular case, the first image that comes to my mind is someone leaving sneakily after a (series of) one-night stands, with the song obviously being from the pov of the person being left, who also gives us a reason why they think the other person left:

"keeping off the radar, how does that make you feel? / keeping it clean, through all the things you wanted me to be / out of touch, with all the rumors i keep hearing of you / keeping off the radar, how does that make you feel?"

this person doesn't seem to want other people to know about their affair, and that's why they keep it secret; it seems that they want miles to be something he's not, or something he can't be - or maybe they ask all these things of themselves, which would maybe make it easier for them to accept the relationship going public. this person wants to keep it neat and clean, picture-perfect and fitting to everything everyone expects from them; but as much as they try to stay lowkey and not attract attention, the narrator informs us that no matter how much this person tries to hide, there's still rumors going around about them, as an individual as well as their relationship(s) with other people, most likely with the narrator too.

"all aboard the guilt train / last call before we leave / last call before we learn to love / the last call before we leave"

the line referring to guilt is insanely queer-coded and i will die on this hill because it just SCREAMS internalised homophobia, with which the other person might be struggling. it wouldn't make sense otherwise - because what would that person feel guilty about, if it were a straight-passing relationship? unless it was a cheating situation, of course... but it could be a cheating situation AND also a queer one, with this person being in another (het) relationship while having a same-sex lover (the narrator), which would give that line a double explanation. also every time i listen to this song i just can't help but think about 'all aboard the kane train' WHAT WHO SAID THAT

however, the narrator tells us that this is the "last call before we leave" - meaning, he's giving this person an ultimatum to make up their mind and decide if they want to be with him for real or not, since the latter possibility would result in him leaving - not necessarily for good, but... just trying to get over that person once and for all. at the same time, though, it's also the "last call before we learn to love" - which is incredibly soft imo, because it's him still putting trust and hope into that person and a positive decision on their part. he believes they will eventually choose to be with him, he hopes for it and trusts the other person to make the right decision, which would lead to them being together and learning how to love each other without limits nor second-guesses. the repetition of the leaving line could also be seen as a way for him to give it a new meaning compared to the first one: if they ended up together, they could leave that world based on nasty rumors and appearances, ignoring them all to just be happy together. because, after all, miles declares it openly:

"you're all that i wanted / all that i need / you're all that i wanted / you're all that i need"

i mean. does this even need an explanation. bro is down BAD

"something to rely on / something to get high on / i don't want to beg or steal, i don't want to borrow hearts / i just want to make it real / something to rely on / the making of a mystery, wishing on a falling star / i don't want to let this sadness rule my heart / your actions from the start / in spite of me insightfully inviting me to fall apart"

i left the chorus last because imo it captures perfectly the whole vibe of the song and what i think is miles' outlook on life in general: the narrator wants something stable and secure, an established relationship with the other person; he doesn't want to have to beg and argue and make it more complicated than it probably already is, he doesn't want to be a pastime or just some lover. he wants something thrilling and intense, almost addictive - but most importantly, he wants something real. this complicated situation with the other person is making them both suffer, and the other person's behaviour doesn't make it any easier; but in spite of everything, and in spite of his sense of self-preservation, he still finds himself unable and unwilling to resist them, to let them go for good. and no matter how self-destructive this might be, he doesn't want to be ruled by negative emotions; he's already fallen for them, too deep to even consider letting them go. he just keeps falling, and yeah, the outcome of their situationship might still be a mystery, but he chooses to be hopeful - "wishing on a falling star", bringing the song to a circular end by mentioning other astral entities that inevitably remind us of the "crescent moon" that opens the song. which also evokes the idea of circularity that is typical of situationships like the one described here, where the moment he seems to have made up his mind (or maybe the other person finally did?) it's like rinse and repeat, and once again they're back to square one.

#there is an underlying sense of masochism running through the whole album #him coming back to that person no matter how much they're hurting him #but there's also so much love there - he keeps coming back bc he knows that person is suffering just as much as he is #and he wants to put a stop to this useless arguments and tears and complicated feelings and just. get to be with them #because he loves them and he knows they love him just as viscerally and he wants nothing but for them to finally be happy together #which is also the exact message that comes from 'wrong side of life' and that is one of the many reasons why i adore that song #THE best miles song! #but the whole album is literally amazing i love it so much he's such a king #anyway sorry again for being so late ajxjsjfkskf and thank u for all the lovely things you said about my blog/theories/fics 🥺💖💖 #miles kane #coup de grace #am i tagging this as you know what. am i #...............mmmmmyeah i think i will #milex #something to rely on #my theories #once again don't take this too seriously it's just a theory i know nothing about them #all i know is they're obsessed with each other AND they were fucking raw xx #somebody sedate me! #answered

[motherfuckermorgan]

fire emblem warriors thoughts

this game is... so bizarre. with over 6 years of hindsight and several fire emblem releases since then, fire emblem warriors might be the single strangest release in the entire series. i got a lot of words to say about this one, maybe even too much LOL. keep in mind that this post will mostly focus on the main campaign, i do realize that you don't really play warriors games for the main campaign but the grindy ass extra modes you unlock. and from that perspective this game is decently solid, but not as interesting to talk about for me personally

so like, as a "Celebration" of the entire series, this game falls so flat on its face it's honestly kind of hilarious. obviously this game does NOT encompass the entire fire emblem series. it doesn't even really come close. in the main campaign, you get three games represented. awakening, fates, and shadow dragon. you could technically make the argument that this also represents mystery of the emblem since that's just a shadow dragon sequel but that feels like we're trying to grab at anything to make this feel like this game represents more than 20% of the entire franchise. the characters are explicitly from shadow dragon.

in post-game you DO unlock celica from gaiden and lyn from 7 but those are quite literally the only characters from those games. lyn likely got in due to popularity and celica is there because fire emblem echoes released a few months before this. this is the best selling game that celica is in and she's not even in the main game

of course, you can argue this game isn't really trying to celebrate fire emblem as a whole. i mean, it's a fuckin' dynasty warriors crossover so it's not like it HAS to be all encompassing. but we live in a post-three houses and engage world. three houses is still the main fascination of the fandom now, so making a game with a STRONG awakening/fates focus sure makes this game feel dated. it is so, so of a specific era for this series. i think also it's easier for this game to feel lame when heroes exists. i'm not gonna go to bat for the fuckin' gacha but man even if there's still an awakening/fates focus in a lot of the alts, at least you get characters from other games in the series!

and like, alright, the shadow dragon characters are there but they're quite frankly so insignificant that it almost feels odd for me to even pretend like any reasonable person would wait until 66% through the game to finally add marth to their roster of units in play. the main campaign continues to be so awakening/fates focused that the characters from shadow dragon basically just save your ass once and then remove themselves from the plot except for marth saying something motivational every now and then.

the story is not something to play this game for at all LOL. it's not outright awful in the way that fates is but it's very disjointed and overall just not interesting. lianna and rowan are such nothing characters i can see why they haven't been referenced outside of this game thus far. darios is such a nothing villain too, like ohhhhh he's the childhood friend! just kidding! he's possessed by dragon. we've done this song and dance which i suppose is part of the point but it doesn't really help the game set itself apart.

it's a story that's meant to get all these characters together but as mentioned earlier even that part is dubious. early on you get your awakening units and then you get a super long stretch of the game that is focused ENTIRELY on fates. before you get like 2 shadow dragon chapters before endgame. it is near impossible to play this game and use any of the shadow dragon characters from endgame. marth is a tough sell in a game with so many sword users including your protags, you get cordelia before caeda and both pegasus knights are only really worth adding if you don't own the dlc, and tiki is maybe the only one that MIGHT be worth adding to your team.

i also played this game on hard mode which was a fun challenge but actually just serves to make the shadow dragon characters even more irrelevant because of how much higher leveled my units were by the time i made it there. i cannot emphasize enough just how fucking meaningless even adding in the shadow dragon guys is. they barely have any relevance to the flimsy story, and from a gameplay perspective you're basically NEVER gonna use them in the main campaign. you'll have way out leveled them by the time you unlock them. this really is just the awakening/fates show all the way through

if you love awakening and fates i suppose this could be awesome. i do love awakening, but god, i fucking hate fates. i've made this fact about myself known over the years. i could write a much much longer rant about that game specifically but after streaming that game over a week for 42 hours i fear that if i said anything else about them i'd self destruct. i do think that the fates games are Less bad in this game, but only marginally so. takumi and oboro are characters that i do genuinely enjoy from that game, but pretty much no one else is a winner. it's pretty easy to avoid using a lot of them at least, since a bunch of them are sword users or other such weapon classes you get from the awakening pool or are just classes you do NOT want to use.

alright, so i've talked a lot about how this game feels disjointed in terms of how it represents the series, but that isn't even really where it ends in terms of being fucking weird in this aspect. this game retains the weapons triangle from the main games, and every character can equip any weapon from their class. so all sword users can use any non-exclusive swords, lance users can do the same, etc etc. however, with the character choices they made, as a result they kind of all serve the same function? you're only gonna want one sword user to primarily deal with axe users, but your main protagionist is a sword user. you're never gonna reasonably use chrom or corrin or xander or marth or whoever else in this game just happens to use a sword. there are so many of them. many of them are paid dlc! sure, you will end up using one for support on the later maps, so i guess just choose your favorite child to sit on the sidelines.

meanwhile, there are so, so few lance users it's kind of insane. if you don't own the dlc your only real options are all pegasus knights and in a game where archers are very, very mobile they aren't exactly enticing to use. i do own the dlc, so i have access to oboro and azura but if you're rocking the basegame characters you're pretty much fucked in this aspect.

axe users are also fairly underrepresented. at least you get lissa and frederick early, but shit, other than them? hope you like camilla. i don't. she's also a flyer. so she sucks as a character and as a unit.

there's also archers and magic users you can unlock, but honestly, archers are far, far better than the magic users. sure, they don't hit as hard, EXCEPT if there are flyers on the map, then holy shit dude, they delete those fuckers from the video game. it's actually crazy how fast they fall given everything in this game is a damage sponge. archers also tend to be sturdier, so you don't really gotta pay as much attention to them. not as much having to watch over them to make sure they don't get themselves killed on the opposite end of the map. you also unlock tiki as a manakete and same principle applies, you'd rather just have an archer. your options are really just takumi sakura and niles, but hey, just like in fates, takumi is fucking stupid strong and can kill most things with little issue.

i can't pretend like this game isn't fun despite this discrepancy. it is a joy to mow down enemies, and i did feel a little bit of that tactical itch scratched by commanding my units on the harder difficulty. but it does harm this game's replayability a lot. the fun of replaying a fire emblem is getting use out of units that you struggled to find a role for in other playthroughs. this just doesn't happen in this game. with all the dlc, i pretty much will always just use lianna/oboro/lissa/takumi as my main units. there isn't much need to experiment. why try the other characters and other combinations when they will be fundamentally worse?

one last problem is just that the game runs like shit. but that's also kind of like yeah no shit it's a dynasty warriors game on the nintendo switch. it's like asking your old dog to pick up a stick that you threw really far away. he'll get to it eventually, but don't expect peak performance. docked mode is better than handheld, but don't expect this game to ever reach 60 consistently

it is funny playing a game that is so much of this era. three houses came out 2 years later and became THE fire emblem. and we've also got engage now, which at least attempts to represent the full series in a way that warriors fails to achieve. we've even gotten a followup to this game with three hopes! a game that i actually enjoy less. in the same exact console cycle as all these other games, this game feels incredibly dated. truly there is nothing else like it. if you're looking for warriors games on the switch, you've got better options. but i can't pretend like it wasn't fascinating to revisit this game, especially when i had spent so much time on it during the switch's first year. if you're a REALLY curious fan, and awakening/fates is like the peak of the series to you, it might be worth a play if you're into a button mashing action game. lots of things that you're gonna have to ask yourself if they truly apply to you. truly a game of all time

#games post

[logically-asexual]

Where's my fucking teenage dream?

summary:

Last part of this series, two years after the events of the previous part. Logan just finished high school while Janus, Remus and Virgil have been renting a house together since they graduated. Logan decides to move in with them, but adjusting isn't so easy. Logan is ace but does feel romantic attraction (for Virgil). He doesn't know he's ace, though, so the story involves some self-questioning.

warnings: Underage drinking, Smoking, Drug use (only weed) and References to drugs, Referenced sex, a lot of innuendos and stuff, Swearing. i'll add more detailed warnings at the beginning of each chapter.

Read on AO3

Chapter 4

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words: 1957

i apologize for this chapter in advance. didn't think while writing it, just typed whatever popped into my brain. warnings: non/dub con kissing. logan gets in a quite embarrassing situation, janus and remus are still a bit mean to him, only because they find it funny. sex mentions. negative self-talk

A few days passed by, and Logan couldn’t focus on much other than what Remus had told him. 

He didn’t like the way he was, he knew his life was mostly underwhelming in others’ eyes. He still had trouble speaking up and approaching people. Though he could now stand up for himself against bullies who wanted to physically assault him, that wasn’t really a problem in college anymore. Now he had different problems, like teamwork and asking questions to his professors. If only he dared to do more, things would be easier.  

Classes were canceled for a holiday on Friday, but the other roommates still had to work. While they were away, Logan thought of what new thing he could try out. 

He could try taking self defense lessons, maybe martial arts would make him more interesting, or appear to be more of a nerd… He also didn’t have any money to pay for more classes. 

Artistic endeavors always made people interesting, but he was terrible at them. He hadn’t practiced his instruments in weeks, and even so he never felt he quite got the music he was playing. He only went through the motions and followed instructions. He couldn’t ask Virgil or Remus for help, that would be too embarrassing and he didn’t want to bother them any more than he already did. 

Logan went through more ideas for hours, discarding them one by one. 

He wanted to fit in with his friends, and his friends’ friends. He wanted to feel part of the group, like he didn’t have to be invited into their activities just because he lived there, but because they wanted him there.

Without thinking, he stood up and walked into Janus and Remus’ room. He walked inside the closet, and searched for Remus’ pants. He didn’t bring scissors but he could loosen some threads with his fingers. Maybe Remus would think it was funny, he walked around the house in boxers very often anyway. It would be a good start. 

His search was interrupted when he heard the bedroom door open. Whoever walked inside didn’t see him inside the closet, with the doors closed. Logan hoped they didn’t hear him, either, and stood there paralyzed. 

He looked through the thin separation between the closet doors, to find Janus pressing Remus against the wall. 

Logan couldn’t see well from where he was, but he could assume what was happening. Mortified, he looked away, praying that something else would interrupt their making out and he wouldn’t be revealed to have disrupted their privacy. 

That didn’t happen. 

He was covering his ears, trying not to hear the muffled whispers the others were exchanging. After a minute, the sound of a loud moan got through and startled him so much that he stumbled. He tried leaning on the surface behind him for support, but in doing so he fell out the door and out in the open. 

The first thing he saw was his roommates’ shoes. Looking up, he saw both of them were shirtless and immediately closed his eyes and covered his head with his arms, as if preparing himself for a punch. 

“Honey, if you wanted a show you could have just asked.” Janus’ voice sounded too calm and smooth for the situation. 

Logan, however, couldn’t speak at all. Only a few times in his life had he felt so embarrassed. He felt as though his face would melt from the heat, even some tears were gathering in his eyes. And to think his original intention was too appear less weak and stupid.

He managed to pull himself together and stand up without looking up from the carpet. He tried to run out of the room, but ran into Remus’ bare chest. He blocked the way and locked the door to the outside in less than a second. 

“Oh no, mister, you’re explaining yourself,” he scolded. 

He held Logan by the shoulders and pushed him back to sit on their bed, then took a step back to stand next to Janus with his arms crossed. Janus had his shirt back on, but Logan still couldn’t make eye contact with either of them. 

“Listen, dork, if you want to watch so bad that’s fine but it’d be nice if you’d let us know before–”

“Stop, no, that’s not what I was doing.” Logan wished he had a hoodie or some other piece of clothing he could hide his face under. 

“What were you doing then?” Janus questioned. 

Logan closed his eyes and sighed. He had no answer to that question. “I don’t know.”

“Did you get lost, did you want to borrow something, did you get some kind of panic attack about the world being invaded by aliens and the only place to hide were other people's closets, or did you—“

“I don’t know!” Logan interrupted. “I don’t know, I felt bad about being so weak and boring and predictable, I wanted to do something, but I didn’t know what, I thought I could be spontaneous and improvise since ideas that come in the heat of the moment are supposed to be the most fun, I thought I could do something to your clothes and it would be funny but…” he trailed off. “I don’t know.”

“You wanted to impress Virgil by… stealing our clothes?” 

“I don’t like Virgil!” He was so exhausted. “I don’t know. I didn’t want to impress anyone. I guess I was trying to prove something to myself. That I can be interesting.”

“Darling, if you want to be more adventurous you could, like, take a bus to the nearest beach, spend the afternoon there, go to a club, do some drugs, sleep with a stranger,—“

Remus continued from Janus’ suggestions, “— come back home two days later, go to work still drunk, blow your boss in the storage closet so he doesn’t fire you…”

Logan looked at them with a concerned expression. He could do none of those things. 

“You haven’t even kissed anyone, have you, sweetheart?” Janus said. 

Logan looked back down at his feet. “I have kissed before.”

“Oh, really?” 

“I… kissed Virgil once.”

They smiled at him as if he had just told a bad joke.

“When?” Janus’ amusement was audible. 

Logan bit his lip. “At a party. Roman’s party in high school.” He paused. “At a… spin-the-bottle game.” 

As usual, the two young adults in front of him doubled over in laughter. 

Logan covered his face in his hands. “Shut up!” He pleaded. 

“I’m so sorry, you’re just adorable.”

“And you want him to like you like that? With no experience?” Remus mocked. 

Logan wanted to scream. He let them give him advice because he felt like a part of the group when they did, like he mattered, but he didn’t even know what he wanted. 

He wanted to be closer to Virgil, to talk to him and learn more about him. He wanted to be even more important to him than Janus and Remus were. But he didn’t exactly want to be in the boyfriend’s place. He didn’t want to sit in Virge’s lap in front of everyone while he stroked Logan’s thigh. That was just too weird. 

Maybe he wanted to be kissed by Virgil again. Maybe he only wanted to remember the sensation. Maybe he just needed a friend. Logan didn’t know. 

“Okay, Specs. Come on, stand up.” 

Logan followed Janus’ instruction. 

“Now kiss me.”

He would have taken a step back in surprise, but the bed was already right behind him. “Why?”

“I thought you wanted to be ‘spontaneous’?”

Logan looked between both of them. He didn’t know what kind of relationship they had. They were almost always together and he had stumbled into them making out more than once, but they also each went out with other people and brought their ‘dates’ home. Now, Remus was looking at Logan expectantly, appearing excited. 

He looked back at Janus. With the light of the window behind Logan, his green eyes looked almost yellow. He closed his eyes and leaned in slowly. 

In spite of the nervousness he could feel in his stomach, Logan kept his breathing steady as their lips touched. 

It felt similar to how he remembered, except that time at the party the kiss was a quick touch, while now Janus was softly moving his mouth against Logan’s. He tried to mimic what the other was doing, focusing on the sensation. 

He was getting comfortable with it when he felt the tip of a tongue touch his teeth, and he pulled back immediately. 

They didn’t get a chance to say anything before Remus whined “My turn!” and turned Logan around to face him. 

Remus’ kiss was completely different. As soon as it began, Logan was surprised by Remus’ intensity, forcing him to lean back slightly. He had to brace himself with his hands on the other’s shoulders, but pulled them back as soon as he felt the bare skin. While Logan was distracted by how Remus did manage to lick inside his mouth, his hands unconsciously returned to his shoulders. 

The sensations were more overwhelming. He could feel Remus’ mustache, the new piercing on his lip, more spit than what Logan thought should be normal for a kiss.

Suddenly, he heard the faint sound of the front door closing, followed by Virgil’s deep voice announcing he was home. Logan reflexively tried to pull away, but Remus held him in place, with a hand in his hair, on the back of his head, and the other on his arm. He couldn’t do anything but attempt to get enough air into his lungs. 

Seconds later Remus let go of him, letting him drop backwards onto the bed. 

Logan got up as soon as he could and ran out, this time without interception, and into his own bedroom. Once there and with the door locked, he slid down to the floor, where he sat in stunned silence recovering his breath. 

He tried to reflect on what had just happened, but he couldn’t formulate thoughts further than remembering the sensation of kissing. Part of him felt disgusted, but a bigger part felt curious, even wanting to go back and ask for more, just to seal the experience in his memory. He couldn’t do that, though, his dignity wouldn’t allow him and those two had probably already resumed to have sex or whatever they were doing. 

Maybe he was just lonely.

He stayed in the same position until the light outside began changing and the sun was about to set. Then, hunger got the best of him and he sneaked outside to get something to eat. 

Only Virgil was downstairs, grabbing a soda from the fridge. 

Logan greeted him quietly as he got a plate and a napkin. 

Virgil looked him up and down before asking, “Are you alright?”

Logan hesitated. He noticed that his clothes were still wrinkled from his interaction with the other two earlier. “Yeah,” he stuttered, “you?”

Virgil scoffed, then shrugged. “Same.”

They stood in silence while Virgil drank his soda and Logan heated up a slice of pizza. 

Virgil finished his drink and, before leaving, he turned to Logan. “You should wear your hair like that more often, it looks good on you.” 

He left after that. Logan moved to look at his reflection in the oven’s door. His hair was ruffled by Remus, pointing in all directions, nothing like the clean way Logan carefully styled it every morning. 

Logan could also see the dark blush taking over his face in the reflection. He quickly splashed some cold water from the sink on his face, before anyone else saw him, and headed back to his room, his food forgotten inside the microwave. 

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#logan sanders #virgil sanders #analogical #dukeceit #sanders sides #thomas sanders #ts

[jungk0oksthighs]

About Pi Gasu Jungkook 🧛🏻

The latest chapter was fricking awesome and it honestly shook me to the bones ahhhhh the ending!!! :0

I do have some thoughts I wanted to share with you though :3

If Jk still refuses to give her his blood and she shoots herself, it wouldn't really change anything in her situation. Like her death would be meaningless since she still wouldn't be able to save her brother. Like sure she says she has nothing to live for, but killing herself wouldn't do anything either....I wonder what she would do if he bluffes. Would she shoot herself for real? Then again, if she does, Jk would save her with his blood and turn her. Her blood then still wouldn't heal her brother since I think Jk's blood is special. (I read some comments that thought she would be able to save other's with her blood as well, but for me it wouldn't make sense) she would have Jk's blood in her system, yes, but I don't think the amount she has would ever be enough. Especially for her blood to have that ability too....ya know where I'm going with this?

Also, since you mentioned Yoongi and Hoseok cooperating. Wouldn't it have already done the trick if she asked some other vampire like jimin or Tae? She would still be able to be happy with Jk while saving her brother without putting her life on the line??? Or maybe she could have asked Jk for Tae's or Jimin's blood to save her brother. I'm sure he wouldn't have refused as long as she isn't personally involved and using his own blood.

I'm just confused on why she didn't think it through...why go to such an extreme? There probably were much easier solutions without these complications ya know 🤔

Anyway! This fic literally left me with so many questions haha thank you for writing such a masterpiece! I love this series dearly 😊🤍 and sorry for the long ask oof 😅

hello thank you for such a lovely big message! let’s dig into this one:

vampire blood cures human illnesses, if oc becomes a vampire (having ingested JK’s blood) she will have special blood also. it’s not a JK thing it’s a vampire thing, though the age of the vampire is important to how affective it’ll be (this will be covered in the next chapter!) i also think the word meaningless is a little strong when referencing her ‘death’ - we’ve seen her showcase a mental health decline throughout the series, this isn’t the first time she’s expressed to JK she feels as though she has nothing to live for. while i agree her plan is very extreme and could backfire, i firmly believe she’s bluffing and expecting jungkook to cave!

she could’ve asked tae or jimin yes, she could’ve! i guess from her perspective she feels close enough to JK to ask him specifically, not to mention she was initially very angry with him and wanted a confrontation about what he’d been doing with her blood. i think in her eyes she counts that as leverage over him, she has something to use against him and threaten him with for her own gain. it’s not the perfect plan, it really isn’t 😂 our girl is tired, desperate to help her brother and having ingested JK’a blood herself knows it’s safe enough to give to her brother! was it executed well? absolutely not. will the shock value of her threat be enough to get her what she wants? maybe👀

thank you for taking the time to read the update and share your thoughts with me! 💜

[hzltryingtowrite]

The persistence of memory (inconsistency, subsistence)

This line often floats into my head with a sense of profundity. I know it’s the name of a Dali painting- the famous one with the melting clocks. People wrote that it referred to Einsteins theory of special relativity. When asked, Dali said it was inspired by melted Camembert. 

I think I’m more in the Camembert camp- i find it easier to access and understand than space and time. That was something I found a bit exhausting about art college- on our first day in the sculpture department we were told that sculpture is about ‘space, place and time’, which was all very hefty. Would it have lent more weight to my work if the plaque on the wall referenced Einstein, rather than being upfront about the fact that I was tripping balls and eating cheese? (This is purely hypothetical).

 Speaking of cheese, when we were in France and eating pastries, Molly asked me what the nicest cake I ever had was. I couldn’t just remember the nicest- I could barely remember any of the cakes I’ve eaten. Later, we went into a museum and looked at some paintings. I tried to remember feeling excited about paintings and remembered when I was a teenager and had seen a Dali for the first time. I can’t remember where that was though. And when I thought harder, I wasn’t sure if it was even my memory or the memory of a friend I had at the time. I couldn’t even tell you the name of the painting.

I’ve gone off on tangents before reading about the inconsistency of memory- stories of false witness testimonies and memory experiments. Asides from the practical implications it has in terms of the judicial system, I think there is a certain fascination with the subject that feeds into the cult of the individual- latching onto our memories as an integral part of our identities. I’ll quote Mishima in Kinkaku-Ji second-hand (because I first came across him in a Sylvain Tesson book) - ‘...What gives meaning to our life’s actions is fidelity to a certain moment, and our effort to make that moment last forever...’.

This resonated with me in the sense that I think a lot of the choices I make and the things I care about are silently governed by a sense of nostalgia- things that influenced me in my formative years. The Pinterests I save, the aesthetic choices I make. Some of these choices and interests can be clearly traced back- my most enduring interests have been those I’ve had since I was a child- like anime, art and nature. But this theory is complicated when you consider the fluidity of memory. Some of the ‘moments’ I’m attempting to replicate might not be my own moments at all but something I saw in a film, or something I told myself so many times that it coalesced into something more concrete. With the influence of media and the fact we’re exposed to so much information in a day, it could be considered a tragedy that increasingly, our memories are not our own. Additionally, we outsource our memories- into digital photo albums and archives, and Google means we don’t need to be able to recall specific facts and information. This circumvents the need to process memories, to integrate them into our schema. They become less a part of our inner world and more of a marketable identity- a series of experiences and sensations that can be encapsulated into a pretty photograph. Maybe I’m being cynical here but I’ve felt myself in the last few years, that I am experiencing the world in a more superficial way and I think this comes from the fact that I am bombarded with so much information every day and have less and less time to process it. People advocate for a mindfulness approach in allowing us to be more present, but I think an essential component we’re neglecting is also time to parse this information. 

I try to allay any anxieties I have about this state of affairs with embracing the idea of the ‘hive mind’. I’m coming at this from a relatively uninformed angle- I haven’t read a whole lot about collective thought and how it might be integrated into the digital Information Age. Putting aside for a moment the unsavoury inequity inevitably wrought by capitalism, we can see social media and shared memories as a modern iteration of the fact that humans are ultimately social creatures. Social media is and can be a wellspring of creativity and, at the risk of sounding way too grandiose, acts as a placeholder for religion in secular society- that is the sense of connectedness and being part of something bigger. AI provides the potential to generate entirely new material from our collective efforts and creations (again, if you can put aside the economic implications this has for artists). All our individual thoughts and experiences are delineated into a scrollable consumable, which, via our engagement, feeds into algorithms which aid the creation of further content and clickables, a digital Ouroboros (again, with the grandiosity).

But now, away from the Borg and back to my own individual experience (because that’s why I’m keeping this blog?). A few years ago, I worked for a while on a vineyard in New Zealand. Initially I was working on the harvest- it was fairly monotonous, physical labour, but I enjoyed it. I think I once read in a museum some historic piece of anti-Irish propaganda- efforts to Google it yielded nothing, only some funny and kind of pertinent results- I’ll share them here. Anyway, this piece was of course written from a colonialist perspective and painted the Irish as dull-witted and suited to monotonous, laborious tasks. It crossed my mind in my enjoyment of the harvest work, that maybe there was substance to that theory. In general, I was living at the time in a way that might be more similar to agrarian communities from long ago- we went to sleep every night when the sun went down, rose when it came up and because there was no phone reception our access to technology was very limited. It was a social job and the harvest workers spent a lot of time chatting amongst ourselves but equally there were periods of silence while we worked. It was in these silent periods that I became aware of the fact that my thoughts were operating differently and I found myself often accessing my memories as a means of entertainment. I was recalling specific memories and information I’d forgotten I even had- like I suddenly remembered how to count to 10 in Slovene. These memories didn’t just exist as objective facts or stories or pictures in my mind- they brought with them feelings and sensations which coloured and enhanced my present experience of the world. I remember thinking about Wordsworth, and how when he found himself ‘in vacant or in pensive mood’, he remembered his daffodils and I realised what a source of consolation memories could be. I felt, I think for the first time, an appreciation of a sentiment often espoused by older people, that no matter what happens or who comes or goes in your life, you will always have your memories and now I’m kind of afraid that this is increasingly not the case.

#Internetinducedalzheimers #Memories #technology #futurism #ai art

[away-ward]

hey, i found out your tumblr because i saw your damon & emory's relationship dynamic's ask and answered tag by you & anon > "asked and answered 54" and omg it was such a great meta! I see that you've changed your opinions about dn characters here and there quite a bit, and i'd just like to know if you still agree with your "asked and answered 54"? Or has it changed?

I also think your question about whether or not damon and emory reflects each other is pretty interesting, because while i agree that they are so similar yet so different from one another, i do know that a lot of readers still hate emory for things that damon had done way way way worse, just because she wasn't being accommodating to will. The readers' treatment of her and damon are very jarring, to say the least.

I'm personally not a fan of damon, and I dont think much about damon even after his cameos every where in the series, but since that ask and answered had involved emory, it does make me think about their history, unique dynamics and sincere friendship. Something about what you said in your closing paragraph just intrigues me, because it's true, and i never really thought of it in this angle before anon and you discuss it: Emory expected more from them, and that included Damon. But no one expected anything good from Damon, and he played into that. Sort of like “you think I’m bad, but I can be so much worse” almost? And here Emory comes, not accepting it, not playing into it. It leaves him with nothing to hide behind, and forces him to reveal a little of himself.

Hey. Thanks so much for referencing the post! That makes it so much easier to know which one you’re talking about.

For those curious: asked and answered 54

My opinions do change occasionally, but usually it’s a slight shift more than a major jump. I like to keep my mind open to other people’s interpretations, and not insist that mine is the only correct view. That can mean sometimes adjusting my view to accommodate another. However, I have wondered if I read through all of my ask replies, how much I would agree with now. I know I could probably word things better, at least.

One thing I should probably note is that I don’t like most of the characters, unless we’re talking about that character and Emory, that is. I’ve mentioned in other places that Damon’s story alone doesn’t do much for me. But pair his story up with Emory’s, and look at their possible friendship dynamics, and it’s a different ballgame.

I think for the most part, I still agree with what I said in 54, except for maybe the reflection bit. I believe there was another A&A that spoke about that, and I might have adjusted then, but I can’t remember. What I know is that for now, I’ve the idea that they were meant to be each other’s reflection on the back burner. I'm not sure that I have the skills to fully analyze what that would mean, or if there's even enough there to look at. But if someone wants to offer some thoughts on that, I’m open.

 i do know that a lot of readers still hate emory for things that damon had done way way way worse, just because she wasn't being accommodating to will. The readers' treatment of her and damon are very jarring, to say the least.

I know! Isn’t it so weird? But this goes back to readers loving unkind male leads and hating unkind female leads. Others have made the point that if Emory were a man, readers would have been all over her.

Knowing what I know now about how PD imagines their future, I’d say Damon and Emory probably don’t have the same friendship that I imagine them having. Still, I prefer to think of them this way.

I’ve found that a lot of people in the fandom have a variety of interesting thoughts and interpretations of the character’s actions. Even if I don’t agree with everything that’s said, I can usually find a point to appreciate. And I’ve enjoyed hearing their thoughts and hope that my replies haven’t annoyed too, too much.

Just for fun, here’s the ask and answered that deals with how I imagine Emory’s relationship with all the characters

Asked and Answered 46

Thanks stopping by and leaving this message. I hope if you stick around, you find something else you enjoy. But regardless, I appreciate your time. Sending warm hugs your way.

-KO

#asked and answered 168 #asked and answered #devil's night series stuff #emory scott #damon torrance #response to prev ask #asked and answered 54

[yjwhatif]

With the semi/cryptic confirmation of Ed and Barts relationship in the series I have a question:

Do you think everyone knows about them (in world) or do you think they’re keeping it secret from some?

It’s just a thought that’s been in my head recently. It is most likely fuelled by the whole drama of G&B not being able to depict a “specific character” (it’s definitely Bart) as gay. They’ve had to hide the relationship from their audience - because of ridiculous reasons - but there are still moments that bring up the question - Are they? Before the reveals from AskGreg, I kinda thought- well they are clearly not together yet, but perhaps they both have feelings for one another and are just waiting for the other to make the next move because they’re nervous idiots who don’t want to have read the situation wrong — all while their friends are like - seriously guys? just get together already. Kinda like they did in s1 with Wally and Artemis - and I guess early Supermartian as well - which I would have been okay with... though with the likelihood of there being at least another two year time skip you’d probably have missed the getting together moment - which would kinda suck. Anyway. With the information about the chances being they were supposed to clearly be in a relationship throughout S3 — which makes the whole structuring of ILLUSIONS just make sense — it’s got me viewing their moments with a whole new energy. Also, I saw this post by Greg —

And let me just clarify, I have no idea if this is actually referencing the Ed and Bart stuff, it might not be (probably isn't). This is purely me speculating.

My reading of this is they got told they couldn’t depict Bart as gay pretty late on and that specifically affected ILLUSIONS where they likely intended to confirm the relationship with that first shot - the kiss on the cheek moment. Even now that moment is just odd - because it’s there but it’s not - because technically there is no actual kiss… which I think is absolutely the point. It plants the seed without actually breaking any rules - all by keeping the momentum but removing the specific kiss frame. It’s the only moment that I feel is explicit in saying they are in a relationship - everything else you can just read into and imply there’s something - but they technically don’t confirm anything.

The whole thing is actually quite interesting - despite the reasoning for it being totally ridiculous. By keeping/showing what they did... People notice it. People talk about it. People reflect on it. More people talk about it. People writing. Make. Create. Discuss it. An entire audience is formed who want and support it. It’s a whole thing now because people noticed it and generated a positive response to it - and that was before all the AskGreg information. The whole reason YJ got a season 3 is because the fans fought to get it back. Enough people talked about it - and kept talking about it - to convince TPTB that the show should come back. Greg and Brandon know this. They know the power the fans have and maybe they hoped that power would help them again in freeing Bart from these ridiculous restrictions. #letbartoutofthecloset

Obviously, we can't know until S4 is released whether G&B got the permission to confirm Bart's sexuality the way they envisioned - but maybe the responses that came during the release of 3b were enough to convince TPTB that they were fighting a losing battle. But who knows, people in power can be very stubborn at times, so we will just have to see what we get. Fingers crossed they eased up though - and not just because of the Ed/Bart relationship (which I am obviously a fan of -- it's fine if not everyone is) - but because these restrictions on LGBTQ+ content shouldn't be a thing and need to stop -- there is just no validity in them.

Anyhow. despite their not being allowed to officially confirm the relationship, Greg's comment about Ed's having a boyfriend they can't name basically confirms the fact without technically breaking any rules again. Masterfully done Wiesman. With this, it implies the pair are in fact dating during S3 which brings us back to the original question... but who knows??

With the comments of Virgil during ILLUSIONS, it's easy to assume their friends do in fact know. They also seem to have no problem being close and interacting with one another whilst in the presence of others -- that is, except for one moment...

Ever since the first time I saw this episode (ELDER WISDOM) I have always found this moment strange - because Ed seems to get kinda awkward when Barry comes to check on Bart. (Or that's how I see it at least.) He realises Flash is standing there and immediately pulls his head down averting his gaze -- almost like he doesn't want to be seen by the elder. But why? Does Barry not know about the pair -- or maybe he doesn't know about Bart and Ed thinks their current closeness is too revealing -- who's to say Bart's even fully out to the world yet -- who's to say either of them are? We certainly don't since we weren't allowed to be shown. We can't know until we know - so until then we can play the speculation game while we wait.

Bart is certainly a bit of a secret keeper when it comes to being himself. I'm still convinced the Bart we see onscreen is merely his interpretation of what he thinks people expect from a speedster in this time. We saw 'real' Bart, he was snarky and cynical and nothing like the Bart we've had for the past two seasons. He said it himself - he's playing a character - and I don't think he knows how to break out of it - not while the possibility exists that it might hurt those he's grown to care about. Bart wants to be seen a certain way to avoid acknowledging the truth of the past - if people see him as happy and smiley, then no one will question him on things he doesn't want to talk about. The problem with that is you can't hide yourself forever - cracks begin to form and eventually, the truth comes out whether you want it to or not. So who knows how comfortable Bart is revealing any of his true self to those he cares about. Maybe his relationship with Ed will be the thing that finally helps him find comfort in being himself, whilst also trusting others to still accept him as himself... and maybe getting him that bit of therapy he really needs.

This brings us to Eduardo… First, can I just say it made me so happy to see Greg’s confirmation of Ed being gay - though it is slightly annoying that he was robbed of his explicit onscreen reveal in S3 thanks to the drama with Bart. His whole relationship to his powers in S2 to S3 fits the representation of coming to terms with your sexuality/identity from a very negative point of view. Feeling like it’s something that needs fixing or needs to be “cured” - to then finding the light and freedom in accepting yourself for you. His growth between seasons is brilliant. He understands the hate and insecurity the teens are feeling because he felt it himself. He does all he can to help them because he never felt he got that help when he needed it - and no one deserves to feel worse for being who they are. Obviously, the things he talks about are framed in the context of dealing with/accepting the meta-gene - yet there are certain moments where it seems he’s saying more than that…

All of which got me wondering - why did Ed originally runaway? It certainly wasn’t because of the meta-abilities he did not yet have. All he’s ever said on the subject was he thought he wanted to be with his father - the man it seems he barely had a relationship with. No, I think Ed has been running from himself for a long time and his dad just happened to be an actual direction for him to aim for. The way he speaks about his wanting to be “cured” and “praying to get rid of his powers” suggests an upbringing around religion and traditional ideas of there being a ‘normal/proper’ way to be — while anything that doesn’t fit that way is treated as other or something that needs to be changed or 'fixed'. Maybe he ran to avoid being found out and run the risk of being ostracised by those he loved. Or maybe he was found out and leaving wasn’t entirely his choice*. If this was the case, I can certainly imagine him not wanting to come out to his dad for fear of his reaction and completely losing all chance of that father-son relationship they’re both trying so hard to keep. It can seem easier to live in secret than risk the reality of loss. So while the meta-gene likely wasn’t the main thing he was angry about in S2, it was able to become a physical thing he could blame and focus his anger on - without having to think about where his issues truly lied… Though with a bit of time it also became the thing he was comfortable conveying his feelings through...

“I’ve learned to accept, even love my meta-abilities”

I love this line so much and it’s all because of the delivery by Freddy Rodrigues. There is the slightest hint of a pause before he says “meta-abilities”, which gives the impression he was about to say something else before then remembering himself and who he was talking to. Then there’s the small inflecion he put on “love”, which makes it sound like it’s the first time he’s heard himself say the words out loud. I don’t hear him talking about the gene - I hear him talking about finally accepting himself - all of himself - for the first time in maybe ever and finally feeling happy because of it. I hear growth... From being the angry 14-year-old skater who just wanted to run away and escape any way he could. To the 16-year-old councillor/Outsider jumping straight into the danger to protect and inspire those who need it. Both he and Bart are such strong characters with so much more to be seen - especially when it comes to the insecurities which lie behind their masks. They both compliment each other pretty perfectly - both powers-wise and personality-wise - meaning while they try to hide themself from others, I don't think it'll take long for them to realise they can't hide from each other.

Anywho, that’s all the speculatary nonsense I’ve got for today. This turned into such a patchwork of vaguely linkable thoughts I’ve had which barely relate to the one I started with - but that is usually how it goes. Take it as you will…

Also, completely unrelated to YJ, but Bi Tim Drake now exists in dc canon which is really cool - seeing all of the joy it’s sparked has really given me something to smile about this week… There is hope after all. 🌈

— LB ⚡️☀️

* OK so here’s a little random snapshot into the chaos of my mind— as I was writing the Ed stuff I had a scene pop into my head of Ed finally -for whatever reason- having to tell his dad that he didn’t leave his abuelo’s home - he got kicked out. His dads confused about this and asks Why? What did you do? And Ed’s like Nothing… I didn’t do anything wrong… he just… found out something. So Seniors like Found out what Eduardo? And Ed’s getting really nervous now because he doesn’t want to say it - That I, um… I’m… Senior step a fraction closer as he picks up on Ed’s anxiety but remains an appropriate distance - Son? Then after a tensening silence he finally says it - sounding the most vulnerable he has ever been - I’m gay… The silence is there again, heavy and unnerving, neither saying a word. Ed can’t move as he’s lock in his elders unreadable glare. Expecting the worse his head drops to take in the floor - anything that isn’t the disappointment ahead - he feels the urge to disappear burning up inside him - consuming him. Then just as he’s about to escape he’s suddenly grounded by a steadying hand rooting itself on his shoulder. Tentatively he lifts his gaze to witness his father, there, with nothing but love and support in his eyes - Mijo. The clamping in his chest dissipates as all the tension escapes at once, along with the breath he hadn’t realised he was holding. Ed embraces his dad and the elder embraces his son. Together. A family.

Anyway. That’s probably a load of rubbish but hey my minds full of it… but basically I really want to see a tender moment between Ed and his dad. For whatever reason. Something where Ed’s in a vulnerable state and in need of some emotional support from his father - and without hesitation his father steps up - because that’s what we haven’t seen from them yet. It would perfectly portray the strength of their relationship as father and son - despite their previous struggles - and prove that Senior is willing to support his son no matter the situation as the father - not just the scientist. Its the final step in their healing journey and I wanna see it so bad!!

#letbartoutofthecloset #long post #my totally random thoughts #bartwatch #eduardo dorado jr #bart allen #young justice #yj #yj outsiders #young justice outsiders #yj season 3 #dc #bartuardo #zetaflash #el dorado #elder wisdom #yj3 #illusion of control #lgbt representation #lgbtq+ #young justice invasion #yj season 2 #relationships #my random ideas #analysis #speculation #identity #sexuality #self acceptance #growth

[starkiller1701-a]

Spock’s Calculator Project #1

Stardate: 2112.28

So I had this idea ever since I rewatched “That Which Survives” (TOS S3 E17): In the episode Spock is in command of the Enterprise and for a great part of the episode he is carrying around an interesting device

Now I’ve looked it up and prop reference sites identify it as “Spock’s calculator.”

I found it interesting because throughout the episode you can see the commander just fiddling with the device, but as it does not have any visible character read out I thought it was curious that they referred to it as a calculator. So I think it would be interesting if it was in fact not a calculating device at all but rather a sensory toy like the ones that are so popular now adays, and essentially that is what my project will be, recreating that prop as a sensory toy. 

My idea is to have the keys in the center of the device be actual mechanical keyboard keys, that way you would get the most out of the touchy-fiddly satisfaction of a sensory toy, and there’s no better way to stimulate that than through click-y keyboard keys. There are three knobs on top, my vision is to have each one do a different mechanical motion so as to expand the selection of sensations, as well as with the white button on the side. For that button I envision something like a pen button, having it click into place and clicked again to release. So the end product would be a similar looking prop that also has the sensory functionality with it. 

I first looked around the interwebs to see if this had been done, granted I have a specific vision in mind, but why reinvent the wheel. I did find a person that sells 3D printed replicas, but as far as I can tell it is a solid piece and the keys don’t move, although I am not entirely sure, so I did ask the seller, and as of now I am waiting for a response. 

This is that model. It looks to me as though maybe the side button might be actionable, but we shall see. I will include links to everything I mention so as to catalogue everything, as a reference for me to look up later on, but also incase anyone is curious or wants to follow along. (Ebay) Besides the this replica probably not working as envisioned, the knobs on top are not screen accurate, which I admit is a nitpick, as I myself will be changing a couple things since the keys don’t look like keyboard caps, but funny enough I was able to find someone that sells the screen accurate silver knob so I think at the very least I should try to stick to that if I can. 

Now, I mention screen accurateness because I found some reference photos of the prop. (YourProps)

I will definitely be referencing these when building my model. An interesting fact about this device though is that it is not the first time it has been used, in fact it was one of the very first Star Trek props out there. The device itself is based on the body of the communicator seen in The Cage (First Pilot).

Clearly visible is the same general shape and the same knobs on the top, the only thing missing are the other buttons. But on that note I am obliged to mention the other use this prop saw in the series, which happens to be in the almost worst episode, Spock’s Brain (TOS S3 E1).

(YourProps)

This version of the prop is missing the side button, but we do get a better look at the shape of the footprint which will surely come in handy later on. 

As I mentioned earlier I managed to find the silver knob in the middle, so at least that part is covered. (eBay)

The black side knobs seem very familiar, common enough but I will have put a name to the face and get some for this project. (If anyone knows what they are actually called and where I could find them that would be an amazing help.) 

As for the other components, I was able to find just want I needed in terms of keyboard switch testers: a 2 by 5 keycap switch tester module. (Amazon)

This part I wasn’t to worried about but having this will make things easier. I plan on basically building the rest of the device around this, and because of that the dimensions will depend on the size if this module. I don’t think it will deviate much from the apparent size of the original prop, although to be honest I don’t actually have the full specs on the original prop, that is definitely something I hope to find as I work more on this.  Custom solid colour keycaps should be easy enough to come by. So far I found a site that makes them, although I am sure I can find a better source (again, any suggestions are welcomed). (WasdKeyboards) One cool thing about this toy will be that it will effectively double as a switch testing module for when I launch myself fully into the keyboard hobby. That leaves the white side button, which I will look into further later on. 

My main Idea is to create a 3D model of the main body of the prop and then have it 3D printed. This will help me get familiar with blender, and I am confident that I will be able to find someone that can help me make that happen. Apart from all of that it’s basically a matter of gathering all of these parts and putting then together, which should not be too challenging. I expect that the 3D printed component(s) will add to the cost, but I am interested in seeing how much this will be overall, because if it’s a reasonable investment I think it would be cool to be able to make others for people that are interested. I don’t expect the demand to be terribly high for such an obscure prop, but you never know, plus I do think the functionality that I will build into it makes it that much more valuable.  Again if you happen to get to this point, any input at all would be appreciated. I’ve never done anything like this but I think it will be a fun challenge to accomplish hopefully within the next year! 

(Since this post is massive enough already I will add further updates on to #SpocksCalculator to make it easier to find; I don’t expect there to be many posts under that tag lol) 

#Spock's Calculator #SpocksCalculator #Spock #that which survives #The Cage #Spock's Brain #Star Trek #TOS #The Original Series #props #mechanical keyboard

[ashintheairlikesnow]

Time Apart

CW: Trauma survivor, referenced noncon and assault, heavy internalized victim-blaming and self-loathing/anti-asexuality (Chris has serious issues from his conditioning around this)

(references events from this small series)

I think you should spend time apart, not with me.

When Chris picks up his phone, it's not at all the message from Laken he expected to see. Not the kind of thing they've ever sent before.

He has to read it two times, then three. The letters swim and shake along with a dull pounding inside his head, but no matter how he tries to make them into other words - tell himself he must have misunderstood, must be missing something - they come back together the same in the end.

I think you should spend time apart, not with me.

Each letter is as crisp and clean as a sterilized blade between each rib, one by one by one by one.

The words are a body blow. They're a hundred blows, beating him into a barely recognizable shattered shell of himself. It wasn't supposed to happen this way - it's been a bad few days, yeah, a bad week really, but until yesterday's fight it had never occurred to him that Laken might give up on him.

The fight was his fault, anyway.

He meant to apologize last night, but then Nova had come into his room, and he'd lost the rest of the night to lying next to Jake, trying to remember how to stop living inside his head again, how to stop being still.

He'd woke up this morning with his stomach doing butterfly flips inside him, nervous, but he'd really wanted to say he was sorry, for the fight, for all the weirdness lately. He'd wanted to apologize for being difficult.

Instead... he'd woken up to find a missed text from the night before, sent after he'd shoved Nova away but before he could stand to look at anything again.

I think you should spend time apart, not with me.

There it sits.

He hasn't unlocked his phone yet. Instead, he keeps tapping the button to light up the screen, looking at the message preview that has all he needs to see. Lets it go dark again. As if one of these times he'll click and it'll say something else.

But it doesn't,

It just says the same damn thing.

I think you should spend time apart.

Not with me.

He's still staring at it when another one comes in. He feels the soft pulse of his phone in his hand, and the screen lights on its own.

LAKEN - NOW Did you see my message? 

He thinks maybe Kauri had it easier when he was the age Chris is now. Back when Kauri carried on entire conversations in emoji form, letting the nuance and ambiguity take over, the recipient working through the meaning on their own. With this, each letter is merciless, each word is unmistakable. He can’t misunderstand it. 

Can he?

He opens the phone with shaking fingers, types back yes, presses send, and turns his phone off.

Then he throws it at the wall.

He’s grateful for the heavy plastic case that makes it bounce off and drop to the floor without breaking. There's a strip on the back, textured and a soft purple, gray, white, and black. He rubs his fingers over it sometimes in class to keep himself from rocking and being distracting.

Now he just... stares at it.

Laken bought that for him. They bought the shirt he's wearing right now-

He yanks it off his head before he can think, balls up the soft fabric and throws it as well. It just sort of drifts pointlessly to the floor, a single eyeball from the print of a band he likes staring back at him.

Laken has ranted before about people who break up by text message, and Chris has to breathe through a physical ache in his chest that tightens every muscle at how awful he must be that they're not doing this face to face. How awful, how used-up, how shredded apart, how fucking pretty he is.

After all, he and Laken have been together for more than a year, and he still held perfectly still for Nova to touch him before he remembered how to move. After all, he’s a grown man who still cried and fell apart when Jake was hurt. After all, after all, after all...

He scrambles across the floor for his phone again, turns it back on. Part of him hopes he’ll see a new text saying they take it back, they didn’t mean it. Or just asking him to apologize for what he’d said that night before, for how he’d thrown their confusion over his reaction to something back at them, echoing out the way Kauri fights sometimes, talking about himself the way he thinks everyone else might be thinking about him, so he says the insult first and no one else gets to surprise him with it.

But there’s nothing new.

He manages to open the texts again, barely, and breathes in gasps, nearly pants, as he types out, you don’t want me at your place?

Not right now.

Is it because of what I can’t do?

It takes them a minute to answer. Every single second ticks by with a slowness Chris hasn’t felt since his days in the cold white room, tied down to stillness, forced to endure every minute that passed in perfect silence or to the soundtrack of his own tears and pleading for it to stop.

When they do respond, it’s just, it’s because of what you won’t do.

His breath catches in his throat. The ache in his head starts to pound harder, and he has to close his eyes against a sharp stab behind them. 

What he won’t do.

They’ve never cared before. How-... how could they suddenly care now? The fight had only a little bit been about that, it’d really been about something else. About his nightmares, how he’s not sleeping, not seeing his friends, skipping therapy. It hadn’t even been about... that. About what Chris can do and what he can’t, in bed. 

But that was the thing - the fight had started when Chris had flinched back from Laken’s touch to his back, and snapped at them, and accused them of wanting too much, and...

And now this.

It’s like they knew about Nova. Knew that he could be good just fine - better than fine, Handler Petrus said he was one of the best he’d ever worked with once - he just... wouldn’t. Won’t. Doesn’t want to. Never wanted to. 

Can’t do it without tearing himself to pieces all over again. 

It was always a scream inside his mind, but should he have pushed it down and tried harder to be more like everyone else? Is he losing Laken because of it? Did Nova pick up on something Chris himself doesn’t know?

Should he have... tried?

Even if it hurt?

He drops the phone again, then kicks it viciously under his bed, listening to the scrape of it sliding across the floor, the thump as it hits the wall. He hears it vibrate again, but this time he doesn’t care what Laken has to say.

They’ve said enough.

He understands.

Part of him expected this eventually.

He leaves the room, doesn’t bother to pull on his compression shirt, even. He lets his skin prickle bare and exposed to the air. He accepts the discomfort, the uneasy feeling of being too seen, too felt. 

The house is quiet, this early. 

He makes himself toast with butter, wincing at the scrape of the knife against the crisp bread, the sound boring into his ears. But eventually it’s done, and he slumps into a chair at the kitchen table, willing himself to cry. Somehow, the tears just... don’t happen.

He can hear Jake snoring softly from the living room. He’d been up with Chris until nearly 4 am, then Chris was awake again at 6:30, looking at that text, looking over and over and over again. Two hours of sleep leave him weirdly euphoric alongside his despair. Like he’s floating in some nightmare place that isn’t awake and isn’t sleeping, either.

He’s probably slept nine hours in three days at this point. He keeps seeing Jake with a knife sticking out of him every time he closes his eyes. Jake, screaming as Antoni pushed cloth into his wound to stop up the bleeding. Jake with a bullet wound, sitting up against the wall, staring at him with wide eyes whispering, It’s okay, Tristan, I love you, it’s okay as he dies. 

He can’t sleep. He can’t leave for long. He can’t breathe. He can’t think.

Him being what he is, it’s the reason Jake is hurt. If he hadn’t been his brother, he wouldn’t have decided to run a house for Romantics, and he wouldn’t have ended up dealing with all the dangerous bits about them.

Jake said it himself, didn’t he? It’s a mistake, running a house for Romantics. Not his best idea. A mistake.

Chris is a mistake.

Him being weak, and cowardly... it’s hurting Jake, making his life harder.

He makes everyone’s life harder.

There’s a soft sound of footsteps behind him, and he turns to find Nova in the doorway, staring back. She’s in a sleeveless gray dress and has her long dark hair pulled back from her temples, spilling in a waterfall down her back. Her eyes are dark and fathomless, and she gives him a faint, slight smile.

She had smiled like that with one hand down his pants.

Chris turns around, too fast, his head spinning a little, and hunches over his toast. “Good... good, um, good morning,” He mumbles. 

She clears her throat. “Morning. Chris, about-... about last night...”

“Don’t, um, don’t-... don’t don’t don’t worry about it.” He takes a breath. He doesn’t want his toast any longer. 

“I’m sorry,” She says, simply. “I spoke to Sarita about it, and... and she said this happens with us, and I should apologize, but, um. So I am. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have-... I thought I was helping.”

“I... know you did.” His words are slowing down. Chris can’t hold on to his thoughts, they want to drift away somewhere else, somewhere safer. Somewhere darker. 

“When I was with-... with my Miss, she would always say, if you are sad the best way to fix it is to make your body forget that feeling, replace it with something else. And that was what we replaced my sadness with. So, you were sad and upset, and I thought I could fix it that way.” She pauses, flushing a little, looking down and to the side as she moves with effortless grace to get a glass and fill it with water, take a small sip. 

“Kauri used to... to do that,” Chris says after a pause, thinking about it. Kauri, who would show up in the small hours of the morning reeking of liquor and someone else’s cologne, or just didn’t show up at all. Kauri, who would laugh instead of crying, and laugh with someone’s arms around him, a guy whose name he didn’t know. 

Kauri, who ran and ran and ran and can do things and be things that Chris can’t.

Or... won’t.

What if he’s been hurting Laken this whole time and didn’t know it, because he was already hurt himself?

His foot starts to tap tap tap on the floor until he stops it. 

“Did he? Did it-... work for him?” Nova asks it with genuine curiosity, and her eyes are so pretty. He looks up at her, and then down again, pushing the plate of toast away from himself. 

“I don’t know,” Chris whispers. “I, I don’t know. He’s happy now, but...”

“Was he happy then?”

“No. But, but, but... maybe we aren’t supposed to be. At least... not with, with anyone... who isn’t like us.”

“Jake isn’t like us,” Nova points out. Her presence in the room feels heavy, like a weight pushing down on him. But what does it matter? He’s not with Laken anymore, anyway. If he wanted to, he could stand right up and kiss Nova right now, press her back into the counter, and learn what it’s like to be the one doing things and not just having them done to him.

But his body doesn’t stir at the thought. It never has.

“He is,” Chris answers. “A, a little bit. I’m, I’m, I’m sorry, too, Nova. Sorry that I-I can’t.”

“No, I know. You have a partner, and I shouldn’t have-”

“I don’t have... I, I, I I don’t have a partner anymore.” Chris stands up, leaving her there with his plate of untouched toast. The sky outside is bright as the sun rises, as if mocking the way he feels like a stormcloud inside. 

Nova watches him leave, and whispers to herself, “No partner?”

Chris goes outside, pulling a sweatshirt that hangs on the coatrack on over his head to protect his skin, curling up on the porch swing and watching cars pulling out of driveways as the neighborhood starts to head to work in ones and twos. 

He doesn’t cry.

He sits very, very still, and he is silent. 

Upstairs, under the bed, his phone vibrates, again and again, unnoticed.

Just go talk to Nat, Chris. That’s all I said. Just go see Nat and get a night or three away from the house. Being there all the time is overwhelming you. Are you even looking at these? Chris you can’t just ignore me every time I say something you don’t like Chris answer me ... ... Oh shit, Chris, my phone autocorrected earlier and I didn’t notice I meant “some time at Nat’s”, not apart Chris? Are you seeing my messages? Baby? Chris, please check your phone and answer me. Please.

-

@burtlederp @finder-of-rings @endless-whump @whumpfigure @astrobly @newandfiguringitout @doveotions @pretty-face-breaker @gonna-feel-that-tomorrow @boxboysandotherwhump @oops-its-whump @cubeswhump @whump-tr0pes @downriver914 @whumptywhumpdump @whumpiary @orchidscript @nonsensical-whump @outofangband @eatyourdamnpears

#whump oc #whump #emotional whump #angst #misunderstandings #communication misunderstanding #internalized victim-blaming #internalized self-hatred #conditioned behavior #internalized ableism #sort of #but not really? #but kinda #bbu #box boy universe #box boy #recovering whumpee #trauma recovery tw #trauma response tw #past noncon reference #ptsd tw #chris the strawberry blond romantic #nova bb

[bnhatrashsammy]

Happily Ever After

Warnings: Light angst, so much fluff you'll melt, past cheating though not really mentioned.

Word Count: 2,900+

Pairing: Eijiro Kirishima x Reader

A/N: I have finally gotten around to finishing the second part to my Lil series here. I truly hope you enjoyed and I know the end was a bit rushed but I still love it :))

Feel free to click the link and catch up on the first one. Can be read alone technically but there might be some minor confusion.

Enjoy!

It’s funny.

Well, not really, but it causes a morbid laugh to leave your throat.

Things are so utterly fucked up, you don’t know what to do.

What does someone do when their entire life plan is ripped out from under them? All their dreams, goals, hopes and wishes are just torn to shred.

But..

It does get better.

The first week is probably the easiest honestly. It hasn’t set in for you yet. Your mind automatically assumes his absence is due to work or training, before it hits that no, he’s gone. You have to keep reminding yourself he’s not worth it anymore. Maybe he never truly was.

Of course he doesn’t stop calling and texting, but you finally worked up to blocking the number. Fuck him. He had his chance, and he fucked it up. Not you. He could have had the best partner in the world before he chose someone over you, and that's his regret to bear. Not yours. No matter how wrong it feels.

It doesn’t take you long to find an apartment of your own. Considering you had been looking at places with Kats-

Bakugou.

Since you were looking for places, it was easy enough to find one to suit you for the time being. Until you figure out what you’re going to do again.

You completely ignore the ‘Baku Squad’, which considering everyone is an adult now, it’s easier to make excuses as to why you’re not showing up to this or that. You’re busy, focused on work, or got hurt from a fight. Excuses are easy.

The truth? Fucking painful.

Kirishima, bless that chaotic dumbass, was the one to reach out to you. He knows you work the third shift, staying in and sleeping all day to be able to stay up through the night. It’s easier for you that way.

You haven’t told him the gritty details, he’s his best friend after all, he’ll know by now. However as a coworker, he knows the basics. He knows where your new place is in case there is ever an emergency, he knows you are newly single. That’s it.

Just because he has this information however, doesn’t mean you were expecting a very tired and grumpy Kiri to knock on your door at 1AM.

You open the door with a confused smile, because who the fuck shows up to your place at fucking 1AM???

“Kiri? Everything okay?” You say once you see him there. He must have just gotten off from work, considering he just has a t-shirt thrown over his hero costume, and his work bag thrown over his shoulder.

“You! Are! So! Rude!” Kiri exclaims, crossing his arms as he just let's himself into your apartment.

“What? Hey- what the hell are you doing?”

Of course he just plops his sweaty ass down on your n e w couch with no care in the world.

“I should be asking you that! I thought we were friends, why didn’t you talk to me?” The seriousness on his face is enough to switch your gaze to the door as you close it, moving over to sit on the opposite end of the couch

“Um, what do you mean?” You tell him awkwardly, placing your folded hands in your lap.

“About Bakugou. I thought you both were good, but you broke it off?”

You let out a soft sigh, “Listen. I’m not gonna stay in that kind of situation. My love for him isn’t enough for the both of us, especially if he has to have some side piece while I’m away.”

You don’t see the puzzled look Kirishima gives you.

“He had a what?”

Fuck.

So maybe he doesn’t really know.

You lean back, hands absentmindedly playing with the hem of your shirt as your gaze focuses on the ceiling.

“A side piece. Another hoe if you will.”

It's silent for a moment, before you hear him whisper the word ‘fuck’ under his breath.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know.” His voice is softer now.

“S’okay. Haven’t exactly gone parading it around.”

.

.

.

“It’s not your fault.” He manages after the thought provoking silence.

You turn to look at him, the look on your face is more than enough to say you don’t believe his words.

“I know that look, you’re blaming yourself. He fucked up, not you.”

Of course that's the same thing you have been telling yourself since you learned what was happening, but hearing someone else actually support you? That hits differently.

Your eyes tear up as you look him over for any trace of a lie, but no, it was the same old Kirishima, just saying what he believes in.

Yet again tears are trailing down your cheeks.

But this time..

This time you had a friend, someone who cares for you, wrapping his arms around you comfortingly, one arm around your shoulders and the other rubbing your back softly.

“You’ll get through this. You’re strong, you know you are.”

Of course this dumb bitch knows just what to say to keep the tears flowing.

You remain just like that. You rant your broken heart out and Kirishima simply listens. Just lets you speak your mind, your concerns and worries, with only a couple interruptions to make sure you’re still okay enough to talk.

Just to have someone listen means more to you than you realized.

Of course he ends up staying over, not accepting your proposal of taking the bed, saying it wouldn’t be ‘manly’ of him to take it when you clearly needed it more.

Though it had been a month since everything happened, this is when you really started to heal.

Another month passes, with you slowly rejoining your old friends. They’re not the ‘Baku-Squad’, they’re just your lovely friends who have been worried about you. Well, Denki nearly killed you for leaving him on read so often, and Mina wanted to murder you for not letting her be there for you.

It was nice, getting back into the swing of things.

The pain was still there, of course, it didn't just leave.

But it’s a hell of a lot easier to deal with when you’re surrounded by people you care about.

Kiri doesn’t stop with his spontaneous visits, but honestly, you look forward to them. You trust Kiri, you know what you say to one another stays between you both. There’s no anxiety about saying the wrong thing or anything. Just two friends who enjoy each others company.

Until month 3.

By the third month, you’re basically yourself again. Being cheated on always leaves something, it takes a part of you away forever. But aside from the new insecurities and anxieties that come with them, you’re happy.

You’re also scared.

Things no longer feel as friendly between you and Kiri, at least not to you.

Now when he hugs you, your chest feels tight.

When he randomly shows up with take-out on your day off, your heart nearly bursts from your chest out of pure happiness.

It’s fucking terrifying.

Of all people to fall for after your prior relationship, it just had to fucking be your ex's best friend.

“C’mon! It’ll be fun,” Kiri’s voice comes over the speaker of your phone as you prance around your kitchen, making a simple stew after a long shift that left you unable to sleep.

“I’m not saying it won't be, but I'm so tired,” You try to calm down his excitement, you can hear the puppy eyes in his tone.

“Please!?”

You let out a loud groan and you know you’ve already caved to the redheads demands. “Ugh, okay, fine. We can do the movie night- well, morning. I’m finishing up some food right now, just come over whenever you’re ready.”

You can hear the sound of something falling over in the background like Kiri was already tripping over his feet trying to come over to see you. The laugh leaves your throat as he tells you he’s on his way and the call disconnects.

You check the time on your phone seeing it’s barely past 8AM. You had just gotten off of your patrol shift nearly 2 hours ago at this point. Kiri called you right at 6:30, on the dot. He said he had to make sure you made it home safe, that you didn’t get caught up in some sort of situation while you were working or making your way back home. You could still hear the sleepiness in his voice considering it was a couple octaves lower and rougher. Just the thought of him putting that much effort into keeping an eye on you and ensuring your safety has your heart soaring.

You try to keep your mind off of him for the most part, you’re happier that way. But you can’t stop your mind from comparing him to Kiri, and how Kiri has exceeded every expectation you thought you deserved. Bakugou had never called you after shifts, making sure you got home safe, that nothing happened to you while at work. Kiri does though, more times than not, even going the extra mile to make sure you fall asleep on time.

Bakugou never bought you matching pokemon PJs to watch shitty cartoons on the couch in, talking about everything and anything you could possibly think of… but Kiri did, a smile on his face the whole time.

And you have the audacity to wonder why you fell for the dork.

A knock at your door breaks you from your thoughts just as you finish serving the stew in a couple bowls, just in time.

“C’mon in, dork,” Before the words even fully leave your mouth, Kiri is already walking in, acting like a puppy who’s just seen its owner after a long day at work.

“Heya!” He lifts a bag he’s holding up, “I brought snacks!”

You send a smile his way as you quickly gather the bowls and motion him towards the couch. You place both bowls on the end table and toss him the remote.

“Go ahead and pick something, it’s your turn anyway, I’m gonna go ahead and close the curtains,” You tell him as you are already moving to finish the task.

Currently, your little apartment was lit up with the bright orange rays from the morning sun. After drawing the blackout curtains to a close, the room is nearly pitch black aside from the light from the tv.

Kiri decides on yet another Pokemon movie, just like last time. You sit down beside him, grabbing your bowl to eat and handing him his.

Kiri is talking about the movie as the beginning of it starts playing, shoving bites of food in his mouth in between his excited rambling. You’re trying to listen and pay attention but the only thought going through your head is how utterly adorable he looks right now, so happy to be with you, so excited talking about this silly movie.

“Heh, “ The words spill out before you even realize what you’re saying, “You’re adorable.”

Embarrassment and fear are the first feelings to take over your being and Kiri seems to notice, his words ceasing and a bright smile lighting up his features. You can’t tell if it's just the light from the tv, but it's almost like his cheeks are just as red as his hair as he looks at you so very sweetly.

“If I'm adorable, you’re downright gorgeous.” He simply says, looking over you, gauging your reaction.

You can feel your face heat up, moving to scoot just the slightest bit closer to him, turning to look back towards the screen. You can hear him chuckle at your reaction but you ignore it, focusing on everything else currently.

And that moment opened the floodgates of what you could only call absolute, downright fucking SIMP Eijiro Kirishima.

You can’t even begin to think of Bakugou, he hardly passes your thoughts anymore. Only being filled with the sweet nothings Kirishima reserves only for you to hear, in the early hours of the morning over the phone as you fall asleep after a long night.

Ever since that moment, Kirishima’s affections knew no bounds, constantly wanting to have his arm around you, holding your hand, playing with your hair, anything and everything. Of course, you couldn’t get enough of it, this was all new to you, new and exciting and it felt so amazing to be thought of the way you can tell Kirishima thinks of you.

You love his smile, the way that smile is your favorite thing to see, and how you can look at your phone and see his gorgeous smile as your lock screen.

“Let’s go out,” Kirishima tells you randomly, on facetime with you as you’re going through some reports you need to fill out for work from the comfort of your couch.

“I mean, sure, but not right now, I need to have these finished for my shift Monday.” You tell him, glancing up and noticing his expression on your computer screen.

“No, I mean-” Kiri lets out a big sigh, running his hands through his hair before he takes a deep breath.

You pause your writing with a concerned expression, “Everything okay, Eiji?” Somehow the questions alone seems to calm him a bit, a small smile now on his face.

“(Y/n) (L/n), I would like to take you on a date. A real date. Not as friends.” His voice comes out so soft yet loving, his eyes on you with a hopeful smile.

The words take you by surprise, your face heating up as your eyes widen a bit, “A-are you sure?” You ask, soft.

“I’ve never been more sure of anything, it’ll be fun! I’ll plan everything, pay for everything, I just need you to agree, to be there.” Kiri assures you, so very hopeful.

You want to just agree, so badly you just want to smile and say ‘Of fuckin course! About time you asked me!’ but there's so much fear surrounding your heart now.

“Eiji,” You take a deep breath, this is your best friend after all, “I'm scared, Eiji.” You push your work to the side, focusing on his confused face on your screen.

“I’m scared of something happening. I don’t,” You pull your legs up onto the seat, wrapping your arms around them. “I don’t want to get hurt again.”

Kiri’s expression goes soft, a small hopeful smile still there, “Give me a chance. Just one. If you change your mind, no hard feelings.”

Goddamn, those puppy eyes.

You sigh once more, giving him a shy smile, “Okay.”

The date was beyond your expectations. Kiri had picked you up from your apartment, flowers in hand. He opened the car door anytime you ever needed to get in or out of his very nice car. Kiri had taken you to a wonderful restaurant, nothing super fancy but something nice and just for you. Of course, he didn’t end it there, taking you to an aquarium right after, making sure it was late enough that no other visitors could ogle at the pair of you as you ogle at the various fish.

You talked and laughed with him more than you feel you ever have.

And of course, when he walks you up to your door after an amazing day, smiles on both of your faces.

“That was the most amazing day I’ve ever had, Eiji,” You tell him honestly, looking at him with pure adoration.

His smile is bright enough to light up every crevice of the earth, so full of happiness, of content. “Does that mean I have a chance at another?” He asks smoothly, eyes yet again hopeful.

You laugh a bit, reaching up to gently hold his face while you place your lips against his.

It truly is the most perfect kiss you think you’ve ever had.

Kiri makes no move to pull away but gives you full control, his hands slowly moving up to gently hold your hips, his thumb rubbing circles into the fabric of your clothes.

You tilt your head, deepening the kiss just a bit and you can feel him sigh into the kiss, pulling you the slightest bit closer.

Slowly, you pull away, keeping your faces close together.

“I’d like to think my boyfriend could take me out whenever he pleases.” You quip at him playfully, pulling back a little more to watch his expression move from confused to elated.

“Damn right! This boyfriend can take his partner out whenever he pleases.” He laughs, giving you a peck on your forehead.

After a happy exchange of goodbyes with your newly acquired boyfriend, you move inside your house, closing the door behind you as you glance out of your window.

You can’t stop yourself from laughing as you watch Kiri do a happy dance all the way to his car, bouncing and whistling like he just won the fucking lottery.

You have a ways to go, and more healing to do. But you have reached your conclusion.

You didn’t lose your happily ever after.

Your happily ever after just happened to arrive late, with hardships to face on both ends before it could be pursued.

This, Eijiro Kirishima, is your self-proclaimed happily ever after.

#bnha x reader #kirishima x reader #past bakugou x reader #bnha x you #bnha kirishima #kirishima fluff #kirishima x you #bnha imagines #my hero acedamia #boku no hero academia #bhna

[backslashdelta]

referencing your tag on the aro Kurt post

it started as this vibe headcanon but the more I think about the more it sort of makes sense?? and it does fix a lot of canon inconsistencies. for example how Kurt's perspective on sex and being sexy was never clear and how he did associate sex with romance, especially later in the series when he admits that he does love Blaine but also he's conflicted!! it always gave me someone realizing that while they love someone their feelings aren't romantic and Kurt feels guilty about that, which makes sense for the break up in s6-

Yes it absolutely makes sense!!

I also have seen some interesting Klaine meta about how Kurt texting with Chandler hurt more than if he would have physically cheated because Blaine puts more value on that emotional aspect of their relationship, whereas Kurt was more hurt by Blaine having sex with someone else rather than emotionally cheating because that physical intimacy is how Kurt feels the most connected.

And I think this makes even more sense if Kurt were aro. Because of course he values the emotional relationship with Blaine, but it feels similar to how it does with a good friend like Mercedes for example. The biggest difference to him, and so what he interprets as the important part of their romantic relationship, is that physical intimacy. Which is also why he didn't think the texting with Chandler wasn't a big deal, because he wasn't crossing that physical line which is where he saw the distinction.

So he's hurt by that because he feels betrayed and he does love Blaine (though not romantically of course in this scenario) and that causes the S4 breakup but he still hasn't managed to realize that he doesn't experience romantic attraction.

He has his fling with Adam and he's nice but Kurt doesn't connect with him the same way. I think this is particularly interesting because in my mind, Kurt is trying to see if he feels that spark he had with Blaine in the beginning, and he doesn't feel that so he thinks it's just an Adam thing not a him thing. But really that "spark" he felt with Blaine in the beginning wasn't romantic, it was a scared and lonely kid trying to latch onto this other boy who seemed so put together and knew what he was doing and Kurt just wanted to belong and be understood. By the time S4 rolls around he still has issues but they're different, and he's not desperate for that sense of belonging and safety the way he was when he met Blaine.

And then Klaine get back together in S5 and Blaine proposes immediately and Kurt isn't quite sure how he feels but he's tried to date other people and he never cared about any of them as much as Blaine, and his dad is talking about how he wishes he could have more time with Kurt's mom and Kurt is just like- well this must be it then.

Then of course we have S5 happening and Blaine moves to NY and they're fighting and Kurt doesn't understand why Blaine needs the things from him that he needs, and Kurt just thinks it's because he's clingy (and I mean, maybe that's partly true) but really it's mostly just that Kurt is not in the relationship in the same way that Blaine is because he just doesn't feel that romantic attraction.

It makes sense too because sex and romance are so intertwined together, and as a kid he had all these idealized images of romance that he thought he wanted but I think deep down it was very much fantasy where he didn't know what he'd do if he actually got it, and shying away from sex was a way to make himself feel better about that because then it's not that he doesn't know how to have a romantic relationship, it's that he doesn't know how to navigate the sexual aspect. Which for a young gay kid in like 2010 was probably easier to deal with, there's already this issue of gay men being considered overly sexual and I'm sure that having those sexual feelings not attached to romantic attraction would make him feel even more out of place, so he just doubled down and focused on these fantastical idealized romances.

My brain is literally so full of thoughts right now, thank you so much for bringing this idea to my attention.

#glee #my headcanons #kurt hummel #klaine #I don't think this is anti because I'm not saying anything bad about Klaine...? #this is more an analysis of how some of their problems could have had roots in Kurt's aromanticism #I do still think that they both care deeply about each other #it's just that it's in different ways and it takes them a long time to figure out that's what's going on #Glee needs more communication!!! #ask #awkwardcaterpillar #headcanons #meta #my meta #glee meta #mine

[gb-patch]

Ask Answers: May 15th Part 2

And here’s the next part of the long answer set of the day!

When will OL: N&F take place? Beginnings and Always took place during summer breaks, will now and forever take place during a fall break or will the characters be going to school at the time of the events we play through? 

It takes place over all of the fall season, so school will be happening in OL2. Some events do take place in school, though many times events only start after school is already out for the day, haha.

Hey!! I have kind of a weird question?? I’m sorry if it’s been answered before and I just haven’t seen it but is OL 2 taking place during the same years as OL 1? I’m just curious, thank you for such amazing games!!! 

It’s a similar time frame, but not 100% exactly same.

Do you have any idea when the demo for now and forever will be available? 

Hopefully this fall! But that’s not a guarantee.

Okay the crime show in Step 2: Growing up. Long blonde hair, police station, crime series? Was it The Closer? Because I’m the same age as MC and Cove and my mom was constantly watching that when I was 13. 😂 

Haha, yeah! The Closer and, to a lesser degree, Medium were the kind of shows I was referencing there. My mom also used to watch those back in the day.

Hey um this might be an odd question but if the setting of OL: N&F is  fall/autumn, what country or city will it take because my mind tells me it is either Poland or Canada. Also I can't wait for the game I am hyped 

It’s set in the USA again. We’d like to be able to have cameos and that’s easiest to do if the OL games take place in the same country.

Is it possible for the PC of OL to have non-seriously dated other people in the in between years even if they’ve had a consistent crush on Cove? 

You can causally date Baxter in Step 3 if you get his DLC and then ultimately choose Cove in Step 4. If you mean off-screen people, it doesn’t really come up, but you can certainly headcanon that. The game never says Cove is the only partner you’ve ever had.

Is there going to be a Kickstarter for Now and Forever as well? For like voiced names and stuff again? Didn’t find B&A until after it was released and I’d really love the opportunity to hear my name in the game 🥺 

Yeah, we are gonna have a Kickstarter with getting a voiced name as a reward! Though, it will be more expensive than it was for OL1. I feel bad to raise the price but we realized too late the first time around that it was being super undersold for the amount of work it took, aha.

Do you know how much the remaining DLC for OL will cost? (Step 4, Derek, Baxter) 

Step 4: Free

Wedding DLC: $2.99USD

Derek DLC: $4.99USD

 Baxter DLC: $4.99USD

Has an artist for the new position been picked yet?! I'm super excited for the new game! 

We did fill that spot. Thank you so much for taking the time to apply!

hmmm what would it take to get each of the XOXO jerk squad to feel the need to hug you? 

They’d have to first like you a fair amount, otherwise the most you’d get is maybe a pat on the shoulder. If they were attached, they might hug you if you broke down crying or if you gave them super good news.

Unless it’s Shiloh, of course. If you want a hug you only have to ask!

May i ask how the Derek DLC will work? I believe that there aren’t any memories in step 4 and doesnt derek’s dlc take place during that step? So will the dlc add memories? Thank you! 

Derek’s DLC will add five Moments to Step 2 (a new page will appear on that screen if you get the DLC). Then in Step 4 you’ll have to choose between playing the default epilogue or going through the Derek romance story.

Is the pc version on itch,io different from the steam version? Like an offline one or something? 

Steam has achievements, but that’s about it. Both can be played offline, if you prefer.

I've been wondering this for awhile, what determines if cove winds up with a ponytail in step 3? I've done multiple runs with different MCs with varying hairstyles. Or does it have to do with a particular moment in step 2? 

I’m afraid I can’t say exact choices that determine things. But generally it’s preference based options in the Step before that decide those things.

Any Floret Bond updates? 

No, the artist had to leave the project and it’s been on-hold. I’m not sure if I want to try working just with what we have or replacing it all entirely. The design is a bit too specific for us to easily find someone who could mimic it. Hopefully we’ll work things out later, though.

In step 3 is Cove's plan always to stay in sunset bird? 

Yeah. He is never ready at 18-years-old to make a big life change.

I love your content! If it's alright to ask, you answered in a previous ask about how Jeremy was too particular with what he likes his types to be romanceable with just any MC and it's sort of got me wondering.. What /are/ his types and/or preferences and such? Sorry if it's a lot! 

Jeremy likes stubborn jerks and will not date someone who’s sweet or even generally a decent person, haha.

uh, excuse me if you said this somewhere before, but how will step 4 be actually? Will it he like an actual step and have moments and dlc and all? Or will it be more like a long epilogue of some sort?

Will the step 4, the wedding and extra routes dlcs be paid too? Im just confused, sorry if im asking too much

Step 4 is only an epilogue, so it’s just a long series of scenes one after the other rather than a collection of Moments you can choose from.

The Step 4 epilogue is free, the wedding DLC, Derek DLC, and Baxter DLC cost money.

i’m not sure how much of the wedding dlc you have planned already, or if this would be to spoilery, but what kind of wedding traditions will be included? i keep thinking about how flustered cove would get over a garter toss & was wondering if we’d see a scene like that haha. obviously no worries if it’s not included, i’ll enjoy literally anything cove related 

I don’t know for sure yet, haha. Right now we’re focused on the parts before the big day. We’ll see how many scene alterations we can include for the wedding itself later on.

Hello! Firstly, thank you for creating such an amazing game like OL, and I couldn’t be more excited for OL2! Out of curiosity, are you looking for any writers to come on for OL2 or are you all pretty much set in that department? Just thought I’d shoot my shot haha but I’m still excited regardless ^^! 

We will be hiring writers for OL2 later this year! Thank you for the interest.

Will we be blessed with a spin-off Yandere Cove, like XOXO Blood Droplets? 

Sadly, no. It’s a shame but there’s not enough time to keep making OL1 bonus/spin-off content.

How is Q pronounced?

I’m afraid Q’s full name hasn’t been publicly announced yet so I can’t answer here (Q and T are the first letters of the names for the new LIs in Our Life: Now & Forever).

Question; is the steam version getting a Mac update?  I purchased the dlc there thinking it had Mac support without realizing it and just wondered if I’d need to refund it to purchase on itch.io 😭 

I’m really sorry, you will need to get a refund from Steam. We do hope to have it there for Steam eventually, but have no idea of when it’ll happen. Apple requires special notarization to be an officially accepted app for their devices. We don’t have that. Steam requires having that, Itch will let you release it as an non-notarized third party app. That’s why Itch is the only place that has the Mac version right now.

would you mind posting outfit sheets for Cove in every step? it would make things a lot easier for us artists. it would save a lot of time spent looking for references 

I think we did do the earlier steps when they were finished way back in 2019 (this game took a long time to make, aha), but we can probably repost them sometime!

In our life n&f, will we be able to get into qprs/will there be more options in regards to having deep platonic relationships with the love interests? Because as an aroace individual, it would be great if there could also be emphasis on platonic love so that it's more aspec inclusive. 

It’s a little hard to say at this point. There may not be things like a wedding DLC for OL2 and so the relationship for platonic and romantic feelings might not go as far as it did in the first game. We’ll kind of have to see how much we can do based on timeframe/budget constraints that will only be set near the end of the year. But we will be keeping things like that in mind at least.

hi! i really really like your game and im absolutely in love with it! i cant wait to try your other games like xoxo droplet and future OL NF :))

during the step 3 erands moment i got curious, which fudge flavor is his favorite? it seems like he likes all of them, but which 4 do you think he would like best?

also i noticed that in some playthroughs cove would let me give him a piggy back ride, and in some he wouldn't, how come?

how does your choices affect cove's interests or looks? i replayed the game without changing any choices but i got cove to look different, is it just random?

thank you!

Cove’s favorite flavors are ones with nuts and that are fruity! But he appreciates them all. Whether or not you can give him a piggyback ride depends on if your MC is fit/large enough to hold a muscular 6-foot-tall beach boy, haha.

Cove’s appearance does depend on choices and it’s generally tied to choices that are preference based rather than emotion/action based, such as which key chain you pick in Step 1.

Is it possible for cove to reject MC's proposal at the end of step 3? 

Nope. He’ll always accept.

hi! i was wondering how heavily the side characters will be featured in the our life wedding dlc? obviously it'll be cove & mc focused, but i was thinking it'd be sweet if we could take lizzie dress / suit shopping or dance with cliff at the wedding or something. 

The side characters are there about as often as they are in normal events. So, it’s clearly focused on Cove but he’s not the only person you have any meaningful moments with.

When will responses be sent out to applicants? 

I’m afraid we don’t send responses out to all applications, only ones we’re interested in offering the position to. Not everyone likes rejection emails and the amount of applications is too high to contact them all to say we’re not hiring them. We post updates on the job page when a position has news. Right now we’ve filled every role that was open.

Is there also going to be the option to keep your relationships with the love interests platonic in Our Life: Now and Forever? That's something I really appreciate in Our Life: Beginnings and Always

Yeah! OL will never force you to end up in a romantic relationship with someone.

I was wondering, in the Step 3 Happiness moment, what are the different fishes Cove can compare MC to? I got "you'd be a paradise fish, because being with you is paradise," but my friend got "you'd be an angelfish." Are there more variations? 

He says paradise fish if you’re a couple, angelfish if he’s just crushing, and then a royal dottyback/queenfish/emperor tetra (based on your gender) if he likes the MC platonicly.

Hello! So, in one of the Step 3 DLCs, Cove's arm was gone. I think it was to show him putting his arm behind his back. But if that wasn't the case, did it get yeeted? 

Thanks for letting us know. That was an error we tried to fix a little while back. When did you make the save file you were playing? If it was older that might be why it happened. Or maybe the error wasn’t fully fixed after all.

Asking for your opinion, but do you think Cove would at all be into ABBA? Because all I could imagine during the car trip in step 3 was him and the MC belting to Mamma Mia. 

Haha, yeah, there’d definitely be some ABBA songs he was into.

So throughout the game, Cove can develop different interests depending on the player’s choices; does this mean that he can have different careers in Step 4? Or his is line of work in adulthood never mentioned at all? 

He can have different career paths in Step 4!

Hi!! I'm so so sorry if this has been asked before but I just acquired knowledge about the so famous nsfw dlc for OL and nearly chocked on my bubblegum 💀💀💀 So, my real inquiry is if that specific moment will have any kind of impact at some point of the fourth step OR if it will just be treated as a side-story-ish “what if” scenario.Also, is there any chance there'll be something similar for Step 4? Haha jk,,, unless 😳Questions apart let me thank you profoundly for making the best visual novel I've ever played 😭 Really really looking forward the epilogue and OL2 💕 Have a nice day 

It’s just a bonus side story that’s fully separate from the main game.

It would be nice to have one for Step 4 too, but I sadly don’t see us having time to actually do it. I don’t know, if people are still asking for more OL1 content several months from now it might be doable and worth doing.

I'd just like to ask, when is Baxter's birthday :0 -- I'm really curious esp with their zodiac signs so ;w; 

I don’t know, haha. Maybe I’ll come up with one someday.

Please help!! I bought the Step 3 DLC but I still have no idea how to get to where you can propose to Cove - any tips? 

&

How do I get the option to propose to Cove at the end of the game?

You can click HERE for a discussion on that.

I love that Miranda and Terry are getting together! I'm curious if you have canon sexualities for them? Also just wanted to say how much I love OL and how much joy it brings me everytime I play it <3 

Terry likes ladies and Miranda likes dudes!

ngl Step 4 Terry's design reads like y'all see trans guys as their assigned gender more than you see them as men to me (a trans guy)... like maybe if he isn't heavily dysphoric, I could see it, but everything you've said about him doesn't line up with that. Even then, immediate warning bells go off in my head looking at him. I wouldn't have touched the game if I saw him ahead of time.

I’m sorry you aren’t comfortable with the way the design looks. The situation with Terry is that he’s now open about who he is, but the body he was born with is still physically the same. He only came out recently as an adult and hasn’t gone through any treatments/procedures yet (his chest is flatter because he wears a binder). However, even though his body hasn’t transitioned at the point Step 4 happens, no one treats him as anything other than the guy he is. Having a trans character who’s identity is supported/respected from the start is what we’re going for in this case. But what we’re doing with Terry isn’t the only trans content we’ve ever had/ever will have in the future.

how would baxter react to bae pyoun and vice versa? and can you please detailly explain both love interests personalities from our life 2: now and forever? i was just curious, sorry for dumb question!! 

I imagine it’d be pretty opposite experiences, haha. Bae would initially think Baxter is pushy and thoughtless, but would quickly realize, oh, he’s instead a soft, considerate boy. Very cute. Baxter would first be struck with the impression that Bae is charming and gentlemanly, but then would realize that, no, he’s a sarcastic asshole. And I’m afraid we can’t reveal the personalities for the next game yet.

Sorry if you've already answered this, but I have a question about the patreon exclusive moment you're working on. I was wondering if it's mainly going to be CGs or if it's mostly character sprites + backgrounds with some CGs.

Either way, thank you for doing the Lord's work and not only making Cove, but making this bonus moment as well 😌😌😌

It’s mostly sprites/backgrounds with two CGs!

—– —– —– —–

Thank you again for the interesting questions everyone :D

We released a new FAQ! It answers common questions and we’ll keep adding more to it. Please check there before sending an ask. FAQ   Also, if you prefer to just see the main posts without all the asks/reblogs, feel free to follow our side account instead: GB Patch Updates Blog

#our life #Our Life Beginnings & Always #Our Life: Now & Forever #xoxo droplets #ask #gb patch #gb patch games

[inevitably-johnlocked]

hi!! i recently got into johnlock and the universe has somehow directed me to your blog (which is an absolute godsend omfg). have you got any good possessive!john fics?

Hi Lovely!!!

AHHHH!! I’m so glad you enjoy my blog!!! <3 Thank you so much! <3

AHHH you know what??? I don’t get asked this all that much at all! I think mostly because it’s easier to find Possessive Sherlock fics and people then just... forget LOL

So guess what?? You’re the prompter for any fics I actually tagged or filed with Possessive John! <3 A pioneer you are! LOL I’m combining it with a few of the Obsessive fics as well, since I don’t have many new ones.

As usual, gang, feel free to add your own!! <3

POSSESSIVE / OBSESSIVE JOHN

See also: 

Specifically Jealous John b/c of Other People

Jealous John

Jealous John Pt. 2 and Jealous Sherlock Pt 2

Jealous John Pt 3 and Jealous Sherlock Pt 3

Jealous John and Sherlock Pt. 4

Jealous John and Sherlock Pt. 5

Hell or High water by bluefire301175 (E, 2,250 w., 1 Ch. || PWP, Frottage, Alley Sex, First Person POV John, Case-ish Fic, Mutual Pining, Bed Sharing) – John wants. Sherlock wants. Plain and simple.

Display by 221b_hound (E, 2,377 w., 1 Ch. || Post-HLV, Tattoos, Public Hand Jobs, Exhibitionism, Possessive Sex, Possessive Sherlock, Possessive John) – A new client has been flirting with Sherlock and, finding no joy there, with John. John seems annoyed to be second-best, Sherlock thinks, so Sherlock decides to give the departing woman (and maybe also John) a demonstration of who, exactly, John belongs to. But there's more than one level of sexual jealousy and more than one display of possession going on here, outlined in the window of 221b Baker Street. Part 2 of Lock and Key

Apodyopsis by QuinnAnderson (E, 3,347 w.,1 Ch. || PWP, Rough Sex, Table Sex, Anal, Sexual Tension) – Apodyopsis: (æpəʊdaɪˈɒpsɪs) noun. the act of mentally undressing someone. Part 2 of Undressed

Overture by Kate_Lear (M, 4,435 w., 1 Ch. || First Kiss / Time, Friends to Lovers, Angry John, Introspection, Dev. Rel., Embarrassed / Insecure Sherlock, Morning After, Bed Sharing, Cuddles / Limpet Sherlock) – A short snippet on how John and Sherlock might have got together.

Sherlock and John Go Clubbing by wendymarlowe (E, 4,716 w., 3 Ch. || Clubbing, Dirty Talk, Dancing, Coming Untouched, Coming in Pants, Bi John, For a Case, Friends to Lovers, Flirting, Sherlock is Lost for Words, Sexy John, Mutual Pining, Possessive John, Floor Sex/Hand Job/Frottage) – John pinched the bridge of his nose - even for Sherlock, this was a new level of no bloody boundaries. “You want me to go with you to a gay club, wait around twiddling my thumbs while I let you get pawed by a criminal, then out-flirt him and talk you into coming home with me instead?” Part 32 of John and Sherlock's Kinky First Times

Caves in the Mountains Are Seldom Unoccupied by starrysummernights & TheMadKatter13 (E, 7,925 w., 1 Ch. || Were-Creatures ||  Werebear John, Pseudo Bestiality, Rimming, Heavy Dub Con, Rough Sex, Come Inflation / Eating, Size Kink, PWP, Bratty Sherlock, Rutting) – “This isn’t something to play at, Sherlock,” he snapped. “If it doesn’t work out- what you’re asking of me- we can’t shrug and say 'oh well, at least we tried'. If we do this… I could seriously hurt you. Do you understand? I could lose control. I could… I could kill you.”

My Life for His by QuinnAnderson (E, 8,816 w., 1 Ch. || Guardian/Protector, Greek Mythology || Growing Up, Sex, Religious Themes, Suicide, Minor Character Death) – It began when Sherlock was eight, and he attempted to climb all the way up to the highest branch in the old willow tree in his back garden. He'd thought he was still small enough that it could support him, but the second he'd grabbed hold of it to pull himself up, the branch snapped, and down he went, plummeting a solid twenty metres. The odd thing was, he never actually hit the ground.

Of Course I Forgive You by allonsys_girl (E, 10,735 w., 1 Ch. || Love Confessions, Canon Divergence, First Time, Frottage, Wall Sex, Infidelity) – What if things had gone differently on that train car?

The Invocation of Saint Margaret by Ewebie (E, 15,831 w., 1 Ch. || POV John,  Crossing Timelines, Light Angst, Fluff, Series 3 John / Series 1 Sherlock, The Matchbox, Mushy Romance, First Time, Bisexual John, Pining John, Bottomlock, Love Confessions, Sensuality, Emotional Love Making, Snippets of Time) – When Sherlock Holmes opens the matchbox from The Sign of Three and John finds himself years in the past, back to that first dinner at Angelo's with a much younger Sherlock Holmes. Is he dreaming?

Out of the Woods by SilentAuror (E, 20,471 w., 1 Ch. || Post S4, Romance, Slow Burn, Flirting, Drunk Sex, Practical Jokes, POV Sherlock, Bottomlock, Possessive John, Pining Sherlock, Frustrated Wanking, Frottage, Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs, First Kiss/Time, Virgin Sherlock, Love Confessions, Soft Sherlock, Dancing, Bum Appreciation, Hanging out with the Yard) – Sherlock is fairly certain that John has taken to flirting with him of late, but can't be entirely certain of it. At least, not until a case takes them into a forest, along with Lestrade's team and something happens that will change everything about their lives...

The Kepler Problem by kinklock (E, 24,270 w., 1 Ch. || Sci-Fi AU, Alien Sherlock, Space Repairman John, Alien Biology, Horny John) – Working in uncharted space exploration was not as exciting as John had hoped, especially when it turned out to be mostly bot maintenance on uninhabited planets. However, the mystery of the repeated, unexplained malfunctions on planet BAK 2212 might turn out to be exactly the kind of adventure he'd been craving.

Inscrutable to the Last by DiscordantWords (M, 48,842 w., 6 Ch. || Post-TRF, Alternate S3, John’s Blog/S3 is a Story By John, Divorce, Marital Difficulties, John is a Mess, Emotional Reunion, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Grief / Mourning, Pining John, First Kiss, Adorably Clueless Sherlock, Nostalgia, Love Confessions, Eventual Happy Ending, Obsessive John) – He wasn't Sherlock, he couldn't work miracles. All he'd ever been able to do was write about them.

The Hollow Woman by ScopesMonkey (M, 51,335 w., 22 Ch. || Post-TRF, Major Character Death, Mystery, Romance, Friendship, Family, Angst, Crime, Reunion, First Kiss / Time, Nightmares, Doctor John, Jealous Sherlock, Jealous John, BAMF John, Angry John, Dub-Con, Rough Sex, Bottomlock, Possessive John, Villain Mary, Open Ending) – Forced to return to London sooner than expected, Sherlock falls into a case too close to home. Part 1 of the Hollowverse series

Points by lifeonmars (E, 53,791 w., 42 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || HLV Rewrite / Canon Divergence, Married Life, Pregnancy / Baby Watson, Drinking to Cope, Boxing / Fisticuffs, Clueless John, Angst, Minor Medical Drama, Tattoos, Christmas, First Kiss/Time, Eventual Happy Ending, Love Confessions, Doctor John, Sexuality Crisis, Slow Burn, Case Fic, Drugging, Blow/Hand Job, Emotional Love Making, Parenthood, Passage of Time, Obsessive John) – What if His Last Vow never happened? This fic picks up a few months after John and Mary's wedding, in an alternate universe where Magnussen doesn't exist, but Mary is still pregnant. Life continues -- just in a different direction. And slowly, Sherlock and John find their way to each other.

The Bells of King's College by SilentAuror (E, 64,019 w., 5 Ch. || Post-S4, Missed Opportunities, Angst with Happy Ending, Fake Relationship, Case Fic, John POV, Jealous John, John in Denial, Travelling / Holidays, Virgin Sherlock, Wedding Proposals) – It's only been two weeks since Eurus Holmes disrupted their lives when Mycroft sends John and Sherlock to Cambridge to pose as an engaged couple at a wedding show in the hopes of solving six unsolved deaths...

Gimme Shelter by SinceWhenDoYouCallMe_John (E, 159,368 w., 21 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || 70′s Surfer AU || Period Typical Homophobia, Hawaii, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Professional Surfers, Gay John / Sherlock, Angst with Happy Ending, John was a Sailor, Misunderstandings) – All John Watson wants is the feeling of a freshly waxed surfboard under his feet and the hot California sun baking down onto his back. To finally go pro in the newly formed world of professional surfing and leave the dark memories of his past behind him as he rips across the face of a towering blue barrel. To lounge beside the beach bonfire every evening with an ice cold beer tucked into the cool sand beside him and listen to Pink Floyd and the Doors while the saltwater dries in his sun bleached hair. That's all he wants, that is, until the hot young phenom taking Oahu and the Hawaiian shores by storm steps up next to him in the sand in the second round of the 1976 International Surf Competition. (PUBLISHED AS ‘The Sea Ain’t Mine Alone’)

Proving A Point by elldotsee & J_Baillier (E, 186,270 w., 28 Ch. || Me Before You Fusion || Medical Realism, Insecure John, Depression, Romance, Angst, POV John, Sherlock Whump, Serious Illness, Doctor John, Injury Recovery, Assisted Suicide, Sherlock’s Violin, Awkward Sexual Situations, Alcoholism, Drugs, Idiots in Love, Slow Burn, Body Image, Friends to Lovers, Hurt / Comfort, Pain, Big Brother Mycroft, Intimacy, Anxiety, PTSD, Family Issues, Psychological Trauma, John Whump, Case Fics, Loneliness, Pain) – Invalided home from Afghanistan, running out of funds and convinced that his surgical career is over, John Watson accepts a mysterious job offer to provide care and companionship for a disabled person. Little does he know how much hangs in the balance of his performance as he settles into his new life at Musgrave Court.

Free Falling by twistedthicket1 (M, 203,574 w., 38 Ch. || Guardian Angels AU || Guardian Angel John, Fluff and Angst, Humour, Kidlock / Teenlock, Light Mystrade, Passage of Time, Possessive John, Drug Use / Overdose, Victor Trevor, Graphic Bullying, Big Brother Mycroft, Hard Drug Use, Depression, Possessive Sherlock, Possessive John, Panic Attacks, Nightmares/PTSD, Pining, Healing Abilities, Kidnapping, Violence, Torture, Blow Jobs, Virgin John, Emotional Development / Attachment, Mortality, Happy Ending) – All Guardian angels are born with a Chosen human. When this child is born, the angel comes into being to protect and care for them during their life on Earth. For John Watson, all he cares about in the world revolves around his Chosen, Sherlock Holmes. Watching him grow up though, the angel soon learns that God must have had a sense of humour the day he decided to make Sherlock, as trouble seems to follow him like a magnet wherever he goes. John can't decide what's worse, the idea of losing his Chosen one, or the fact that he may be breaking the most taboo law of heaven as he disguises himself as a human to better protect and befriend the beloved detective he's always watched from afar. He was meant to care for him. But what happens when caring evolves into something more? What happens when an emotion an angel is supposed to be incapable of possessing comes to life suddenly and viciously inside John's chest?

#steph replies #johnlock fic recs #possessive john #my fic recs #safebannie

[pfreadsandwrites]

九つの命/9 Lives Translation

Hi!! So, @foxy-and-tales asked me to tell her what was going on in the comic mentioned in this post. After skimming through it, I thought it'd be good practice - and it'd be easier to answer her question - if I just went through it and told her what it all meant. I realised by that point I was doing a translation, and since I was going to the trouble anyway, I thought I'd post it publicly.

So, the full comic is here. It's basically a comic that has 7 little stories about Kakashi's ninja hounds and their lives with Kakashi. It's an adorable, heartfelt story and I absolutely love the personalities that the artist gave all the ninja hounds and the depictions of their relationships with Kakashi.

My translation will be this post, follow it as a script. I don't have the skill or knowledge to edit and typeset and change the images myself - and I wouldn't do that anyway, as it would involve reposting the art and changing it without the artist's consent. But I do think that not referring to the pictures as you're reading through the script really harms how sweet this story is, so if you can go through the comic slowly whilst referring to my (amateur) translation of it, I hope you can get a glimpse of that!

WARNINGS: There is a depiction of an already dead dog in part 4 😢, and some (human!) male partial nudity in part 6 (😉)

Tagging: @scaredlittlefoxy @lemony-snickers @backalleykat @whatshernameis @gwedosuns @topsyturvy-dream @ice-icebaby @cosmiclattes

This is also the artist’s note that follows after the comic, that I’m putting here:

(Artist’s note translation)

"This is a story about the daily life of Kakashi and the eight ninken.

The ninja dogs’ personalities etc mightn’t be faithful to the source material.

The dogs live free range in Kakashi’s house.

There is an illustration of a dog dying, though it isn’t any of the ninken. Please take note.

You don’t have to read it, but below this are the dogs’ personalities:

Shiba: Friendly and sensitive

Biscuit: Childish and Selfish

Akino: Calm and cool demeanour

Bull: Timid and Quiet

Urushi: Ladykiller. A little bit dim. (Note: Himbo!)

Guruko: Annoyingly helpful and naggy

Uhei: Pure-hearted and cheerful

Pakkun: Same as in the series"

Some notes and then onwards into the translation under the cut:

Please take heed before continuing:

I’m not a professional translator, in fact I’ve done very little of this, so there’s some guesswork and liberties taken, and I don't claim that that there’ll be no mistakes.

I’ve separated it out by sections and pages, so you should be able to follow the story from following the speech bubbles (right to left) and referencing the lines here by speaker

Each space between a line denotes that it’s the next speech bubble

A new line but no change in speaker will denote that it’s the same character talking, but in the next panel or speech bubble

Italics means the character is thinking or flashbacks. I'll try and make this obvious as I go but the artwork should make that clear too.

Brackets are my additions, or me translating things like signs etc, or brackets will have smaller background dialogue not in speech bubbles. I'll try to make this clear as I go.

Stuff surrounded by * denotes actions or onomatopoeic actions/words in panels

Ask me if there’s any parts that confuse you about the story!! The way I’ve done this isn’t easy to follow but it's the best my dumb brain could come up with

TRANSLATION:

Title page

(p.1)

ここのつのいのち

9 Lives

(p.2)

1. ‘I won’t tell anyone’

(SFX: dogs playing and wagging tails)

Kakashi: Hm? You’re not gonna play, Shiba?

Shiba: …No. …Hey, Kakashi’

Kakashi: Hm? What?’

Shiba: There’s a girl I like’

Kakashi: Ohhh… I won’t tell anybody.

I won’t tell ~ I won’t tell ~

(p. 3)

Shiba: She’s really cute…

Kakashi: That’s great ~

Shiba: But I haven’t even spoken to her once

Kakashi: You should go for it ~

(SFX: *happy dog panting*)

Shiba: I’ll come back as soon as I’ve talked to her!’

Kakashi: Yep!

Shiba: I’ll be right back, definitely!

Kakashi: Ok, ok (lit. Yes yes)

(p.4)

Shiba: She’s already got someone (lit. she’s already in a couple/has a mate)

Kakashi: I see…

Shiba: She said her mate hurt his leg and can’t walk so he's staying at home…

(p.5)

Kakashi: Shiba, you know.. have feet that can walk anywhere…

So maybe you’ll meet an amazing girl again, won’t you?

(*dog cries*)

Kakashi: ...I won’t tell anyone. (*Comforting doggy*)

I won’t say anything. I won’t say anything.

(Kakashi: Aw, Shiba is pretty sweet to me, huh?)

2. Biscuit’s Sausage (note: I know his name is technically Bisuke in Japanese, but Biscuit is his dub name and it’s too adorable so that’s what I’m going with here! Also suits the personality he has in this story. What a biscuithead this boy is)

(p.6)

Biscuit: -You’re so sneaky, Kakashi! I wanted to eat sausages!

*crying dog noises*

(Uhei: Sorry, Kakashi…

Guruko: I told you!!)

Kakashi: You know if you eat sausages, Biscuit, your tummy will get sick, right? I’m boiling cod for you right now

(*tantrum noises, pounding feet and barking*)

Biscuit: *angry puppy noises* I hate fish, you idiot! I said I want to eat sausages! Sausages! Sausages!

Kakashi: *sternly* Biscuit

Biscuit: *whimper*

(p.7)

Biscuit: Kakashi, you IDIOT!

(2. Biscuit’s Sausage)

Biscuit: *sniff*

(Sign says Konoha Pet Food)

Biscuit: This is the store that sells the dog food Kakashi buys! Wow, maybe they have sausages here too!

(p.8)

Biscuit: I wonder if I'll be able to eat as much as I want… *gulp*

But if I did that, Kakashi would get in trouble

No, maybe…

*heart pounding*

Kakashi kept it (this) a secret just from me, because I'll get sick...

(Apron says Konoha Pet Food)

Shop Lady: *shuffles*

Biscuit: I didn't do anything yet!!! * heart pounding*

Shop Lady: Oh my… you really just talked!

Shop lady: You’re Kakashi’s pup, aren’t you?

(p.9)

Shop lady: Kakashi got you to come here, huh?

(Shop lady: you’re a good boy!)

Bisuke: Oh, no-

Shop lady: Though, he shouldn't have made you come pick it up without contacting us, huh? Here, sausages!

Biscuit: Sausages?!

Shop lady: There’s a pup among you guys that can’t have normal sausages, right?

It was a request from Kakashi.

He said he wanted me to make some especially for the puppy who can’t handle meat.

(p.10)

Shop lady: Well, here you go!! You’ll tell Kakashi we’re sorry for making him wait, won’t you?

Biscuit: Oh, um… But I don’t have any money…

Shop lady: It’s fine, because it’s Kakashi!

Whenever he has free time, he comes to pay.

I have a deal with him, you see. And he can't get the food if he's not here...

Next time, come together with Kakashi, okay?

(p. 11)

Kakashi: *casually picks up Bisuke* Thank you! This is for you ~

Shop lady: Thank you, come again!

Biscuit: Kakashi…

Kakashi: Hm?

Biscuit: Sorry…

Kakashi: Yeah…

I’m sorry too. I gave everyone else sausages while keeping it a secret from you.

I thought you’d definitely want some if you saw…

(Kakashi: But I got caught.)

(p. 12)

Kakashi: But…. Everyone’ll want some if they see this, too.

How about stopping by the park and eating it there?

We’ll keep it a secret from everyone 😊

Bisuke: *happy face licking and barking* When we get home, I’ll eat the cod too!!

Kakashi: Uhh… Well, Uhei and Guruko already ate it…

Bisuke: WHAT?!!!

(Flashback, Uhei and Guruko saying ‘Cod! Me too!! Me too! I want to eat some too!’)

3. Kakashi’s smile

(p. 13)

*paws thudding on ground/running away*

Kakashi: …Got you.

Akino: Ack!

It’s always only me that you brush so roughly, Kakashi!

Kakashi: It can’t be helped, can it? You have the thickest fur, Akino

*brushing softly* It’ll be over soon, it’ll be over soon…

Other doggies: That seems nice to me, Akino…

Kakashi: Hey, it’s falling out, it’s falling out ~

Akino: !!!

Kakashi: Look, it’s a mini Akino!! So much fur…

Akino: That’s too much hair off the bottom, Kakashi! Wha…

(p. 14)

*Kakashi continuing to laugh at his mini Akino*

Akino: There are times now where Kakashi summons us, even if he doesn’t have any business for us to take care of…

(Back then) he never ever summoned us outside of missions…

(p. 15)

Akino: He was doing all kinds of things, but he was the kind of person who never had a smile on his face…

Kakashi: If I had more time, I could make an even hairier one, you know

(Other dogs: *laughing* Akino: That’s a lie!)

Akino: Kakashi…. You're having fun?

Kakashi: *genuine smile* Yep, I am!

Akino: *smile* If you feel like it, you can keep going…

Kakashi: Oh?

(Later, Akino notices Kakashi has put sunglasses on the mini Akino)

4. Timid Bull (CW Animal Death)

(p. 16)

Bull: I’m the last ninja hound that came to Kakashi’s home.

Before that, I was living in a training centre for ninja hounds.

(4. Timid Bull)

The dogs I lived together with there… were all adopted when they were puppies.

But I still lived at the training centre, even as I became fully grown.

Ninja Hey, that dog looks tough, doesn’t he?

Centre manager: Yes, but… he’s not all that suited for battling…

Despite how he looks, he’s actually a timid dog.

Bull: I… I’m scared of insects. I’m scared of noises.

I’m scared of blood.

Centre manager: Because he can understand the stories of troubled humans, you see…

Bull: I’m scared of anything other than myself.

(p. 17)

Bull: Nobody would want a dog like me, right?

Kakashi: I found a good boy ~

Bull: *panicking* There’s no manager here!

Kakashi: Hello ~

Bull: …Hello… *heart pounding*

Kakashi: Ah, one that talks, huh…

Would you like to become one of my pups?

(p. 18)

Bull: Me…? Me, really? Quit it… That’s enough joking around.

Kakashi: What do you mean?

Bull: No-one wants me (😢)

Kakashi: No-one?

I want you, though.

Bull: What kind of a strange person would want me, I thought

(p. 19)

Bull: There were lots of dogs at Kakashi’s house

(Happy barking doggy noises)

Uhei: Woah, you’re huge! But among these guys, I have the fastest legs, you know!!!

Guruko: And I have the best nose!!

Biscuit: And I’m whiny!! (Note: lit. ‘I’m selfish!’)

Shiba: I have the sharpest bite!

Pakkun: I am the wisest. (Note: Pakkun I think uses Kansai-dialect Japanese lol so he sounds kinda... distinct. This is hard to convey for me lol)

Urushi: I’m popular with the ladies ;)

(Akino: I’m the fluffiest!)

Bull: I was so confused

You… you’re not scared of me?

I’m huge, and I have a scary face… So no one comes near me.

They all said they weren’t scared.

The reason, they said together, was…

(p. 20)

‘Because Kakashi brought you, Bull!’

Everyone was totally relaxed, as if they had no worries at all.

They all clung to me as if it was completely natural to do so.

I realised that there’d always be someone beside me.

(p. 21)

*sounds of paws scuffling against ground in first two panels*

*jumping to the ground noise in third panel*

Kakashi: …Bull, this way is a dead end.

Bull: …Sorry.

I couldn’t go back to where you were, and I thought so, but -

(p.22)

Bull: *looking at dog* He asked me to stay by his side.

…He was an enemy, but he was already dying.

That’s why, Kakashi….

Kakashi: …Yep.

Let’s give him a send-off together.

(Note: this was a tricky one because Kakashi says 送る, which means send, and is used with mail etc, but can mean to say farewells to the deceased, which is why Bull comments on it on the next page)

(p. 23)

Bull: He wanted to say ‘I want to bury him’

But Kakashi said ‘send-off’.

Lightly, as if his life force was still there

There… there are a lot of things that scare me.

When I was waiting for this dog, I was scared.

But I couldn’t refuse his request.

(p. 24)

Bull: …I’m spineless.

Kakashi: Everyone else has lots of things they’re scared of, you know.

That’s why they all stay by your side, Bull.

If you’re there, everything will be alright. That’s how everyone feels.

If you’re close by, everyone’s able to feel safe.

(p. 25)

Kakashi: ….This puppy, too.

Dying dog: …Please…

Bull: That dog…

Dying dog: Stay with me, until the end…

Kakashi: Because you stayed with him, Bull, he felt at peace, didn’t he?

Bull: I don’t think that dog was happy…

…Kakashi.

He was very thin, and he also smelt like he was sick

To protect themselves, his owner didn’t treasure this [this dog’s] life.

Kakashi, I…

Somehow, I..

I’m very…

(p. 26)

Bull: I wanted to cry out as loud as I could..

Kakashi: Yeah… (I’m not sure who’s saying this line)

Bull: For feeling guilty towards that dog, and for knowing Kakashi…

For my life being here now.

For my life, I wanted to cry it out until the blood came out of my throat.

(p. 27)

Bull: That dog…

I wonder, was that dog ever able to feel like this, even once?

(Flashback) Doggies: Because Kakashi brought you, Bull!

Uhei: Hey!!! Bull!!

Shiba: You’re late!!

I was worried, you know!

Guruko: (to others) Hey, Bull came back!!

Bull: I’m Bull. The dog that Kakashi found.

5. Urushi’s scales

(p.28)

Urushi: I think I’m good looking

(5. Urushi’s scales)

Girl pups: Ahh~ Urushi…~

Urushi: I’m popular with the ladies

(note: he uses メス, which means bitch in the literal sense - a female dog - and all the puppers use it to refer to human women too. So I just left it as ladies, as I don't think the pups mean it to be crass, they just use dog language and apply it to humans as well as themselves)

Sometimes I’m told ‘it’s probably because you’re one of Kakashi’s ninken’, but…

(Background lettering over the other dogs says ‘Unstylish/Uncool/Lame’)

But my other friends aren’t all that popular, really.

Still, I think it’s because I really am good-looking after all.

(Choruses of ‘Urushi~’, ‘Ahh…; and ‘Let’s play together, Urushi)

Urushi: Hehehe…

Being good-looking is a great thing.

Guruko: Hey, Kakashi!

(p. 29)

Guruko: You got hit by a girl again, didn’t you?!

Kakashi: *laughing* No…

Akino: Why were you hit by a girl? Do girls not like you?

Uhei: It looks like it hurts…

Kakashi: Nooo ~

Shiba: You’re so strong, Kakashi, why were you hit?

Biscuit: You couldn’t avoid it?

Guruko: *Steam from nostrils* I’ll fight her for you!

Kakashi: It’s fine, it’s fine ~

What are you saying?

(p. 30.)

Urushi: Kakashi said ‘I took responsibility’.

Sometimes humans say things I don’t understand…

Girl dog: Urushi… pair up with me.

Urushi: If Kakashi’s saying it, it must be important…

Be… Because I’m one of Kakashi’s ninken?

Girl dog: It has nothing to do with that. I like you, Urushi

Urushi: Wow… *heart pounding*

Girl dog: Pair up with me, and…

I want you to leave the ninken. (Lit. Stop being a ninken)

(p. 31)

Girl dog: I love you, Urushi, but what if, on a mission, you…

I can’t stand the thought of that!

Leave the ninken, and… always stay in the village with me?

Urushi: This girl’s a beauty, and has a kind personality…

I think that I might want to be with her…

Should I leave the ninken?

(p. 32)

Urushi: *perplexed*

Kakashi, Bull and Biscuit: *zzz, sleeping sounds*

Urushi: If I said I wanted to leave the ninken…

Kakashi: (in Urushi’s imagination) If that’s what you want, Urushi

It’s fine with me! (Background: It would be a shame, though…)

Urushi: I feel like Kakashi would say something like that…

Do I want to do that…? Not really, but… *sigh*

Hey, Pakkun.

(p. 33)

Pakkun: Something bothering you?

Urushi: Yeah, there is

I have to decide between two things, but it’s difficult…

I want both of them, but I can’t have them.

Pakkun: … Is it a girl problem?

Urushi: Yep ~

Pakkun: That’s just like you, Urushi. (Pakkun’s imagination shows two girl pups arguing:

Urushi!! Which one will you choose, me or her?! *indignant barking*)

When making a decision about something, one needs to think about what’s most.

...important to oneself.

Let’s say you balance both sides on your scales…

Urushi: My scales?

Pakkun: For example….

(p. 34)

It’s not the physical weight, but the weight of what you think is precious and important. It’s the weight of those feelings.

If you think about which is heavier, you’ll find the answer.

Kakashi: You guys are having a kinda complicated conversation, huh…?

Pakkun: Oh, Kakashi, you woke up, did you?

Urushi: *heart pounding*

Kakashi: My scales lean towards sleep, you know..

Let’s eat soon, okay? Please…

Urushi: Kakashi…. Are you happy that I’m here?

(p. 35)

Kakashi: Hm? Yeah, I’m happy!

Urushi, of course I’m happy ~

(Note: the word Kakashi uses is 嬉しい, which is ‘ureshii’ so Kakashi is making a pun with Urushi’s name here.)

Urushi: *blush* Okay!

Pakkun: What we were just talking about… Don’t talk about it in front of Shiba.

Urushi: Huh? Why?

Pakkun: Seems like he recently had his heart broken…

(p. 36)

Urushi: The thing that’s most important and precious to me… isn’t you.

That’s why I can’t be with you.

I can’t be with you, but… you’re a beautiful and amazing lady.

So, let’s meet again one day ~

Biscuit: Kakashi! Kakashiiiii! It’s awful!!

(p. 37)

(*throbbing pain*)

Biscuit: Urushi’s hurt!!

(*dogs barking*)

Guruko: Let’s go fight them!! *steam from nostrils*

Shiba: No way, is it a girl? Kakashi, you better tell him off!!!

Kakashi: Did you get into a fight with a dog from the village?

Urushi: No, it’s not that…

I took responsibility.

I’ve got a manly mark on my face, heh~

Shiba: You better tell him off!! *bark*

Pakkun: That’s it…

6. Kakashi’s Helper Team!

(p. 38)

Kakashi: I’m home~!!!

Guruko: ?!!! Kakashi, you stink!!

Kakashi: *sweetly smiling* Oh, stop it…

I saw Asuma after a long time, and we talked and ended up getting some drinks… It was nice to see him… *flops down on floor*

Guruko: Take a bath!!!

Don’t go to sleep!!

(*soundly sleeping*)

(p. 39.)

Guruko: Uhei! Uheiii!

Uhei: What is it?

Guruko: Let’s clean up Kakashi!

(6. Kakashi’s Helper Team!)

Uhei: Ehh… But if he wakes up, he’ll take a bath himself, won’t he?

(SFX: Heave-ho! Heave-ho!)

Guruko: We can’t leave Kakashi as he is when he’s this stinky! It’s fine, take it off!

Uhei: Uh, this is stuck half way, I can’t take it off

Guruko: Because you haven’t taken off his leg bandages!

(p. 40)

Guruko: Damn, this is stuck half way *pulling*

Uhei: Isn’t that because you haven’t taken off his headband?!

Guruko: This is enough, let’s carry him to the bath like this!

(*dragging noises*)

Uhei: Won’t his clothes get wet?

Guruko: It’s fine, because we’re going to wash them anyway!

Uhei: It’s amazing… Kakashi still hasn’t woken up!

Guruko: Okay, let’s wash him!

Uhei: Isn’t that… the shampoo that we use?

Guruko: It’s totally safe!!

If it’s fine for us to use, it’ll be fine for Kakashi too, right?

Uhei: I guess…

(p. 41)

Uhei: We can wash his body, but what about his clothes?

(SFX: *scrub scrub*)

Guruko: If we wash them together, it’ll be fine! Hey, pour some hot water over here ~

Uhei: Okay!

(SFX: *splash*)

Kakashi: *suddenly yelling* I’m gonna die!!

Guruko: *screaming*

Kakashi: Even with my face covered, if you pour hot water on me, I can’t breathe, you know!! You really can’t do that.

Guruko: You woke up…

(SFX: *heart pounding*)

Uhei: You really scared me…

(p. 42)

Kakashi: You’d started something, and I wondered how far you’d carry on… Ah, I’m drenched.

Guruko: Ah, I’m sorry, Kakashi!!

Kakashi: Well, anyway.. you guys ended up cleaning yourselves pretty good too. You’re all drenched, too.

Guruko: Then I’ll go get some towels!!

Uhei: Kakashi, Kakashi

Guruko acts the way he does, but he really loves looking after you!

Kakashi: I know.

Biscuit: I want to have a bath with Kakashi too ~

Guruko: That’s not it! It’s just all slippery (note: not accurate, but the gist is that Biscuit misunderstands and Guruko puts him straight)

7. I’ll always love you

(p. 43)

(Flashback)

Sakumo: Pakkun…

Pakkun…

I have a favour to ask.

(Present)

Pakkun…

(SFX: Snoring)

Kakashi: Pakkun..

(SFX: Gasp)

Pakkun: Huh?

Kakashi: It’s time to eat.

(p. 44)

Pakkun: Alright.

(Other dogs: Food~ Food ~

Kakashi: Yes ~ Yes ~)

(Flashback)

Sakumo: Pakkun…

Pakkun….

Pakkun..

(p. 45)

Pakkun: Kakashi?

Kakashi: Hm?

Pakkun: For the mission report before… You didn't need me, did you?

Why did you bring me?

Other dogs: We want to come too!!

Kakashi: It’s just Pakkun for today

Kakashi: Hmm…

Hey, let’s relax here for a little while.

Pakkun: What’s this…

Kakashi: Come on…

Well…

(p. 46)

Kakashi: I want to talk about Dad.

…No. Maybe it’s a confession?

Talking about Dad…. Felt like something we couldn’t even broach. Ever.

I think you felt this way too, right, Pakkun?

I couldn’t tell you earlier that ‘it’s all right now’. Even though it was.

It was just a matter of timing, I guess…

Pakkun: But I wasn’t waiting for you to say that… Even if you’d have said it earlier, that’d have been good, but..

Why, out of the blue like this?

A change like that… Just like…

Just like…

(p. 47)

(Flashback)

Sakumo: I have a favour.

(Present)

Kakashi: The day Dad died…

Ever since then, for a long time, now… I became strange.

I’ve been nothing but trouble for you.

Pakkun: Kakashi-

Kakashi: Even though… you were hurting over Dad not being here too.

(p. 48)

Kakashi: Dad was your first master, right?

You really were precious to him.

….The other day, when you were having a nap, I woke you up, didn’t I?

It might have been because of the food, but your nose was twitching.

At first, I thought you were growling.

When I woke you up, you had a really startled expression when you looked at me.

I understood right away.

You were thinking about Dad, right?

(p. 49)

Kakashi: You were having a dream about Dad that time, right?

Thank you for always being considerate towards me…

But it’s alright now.

From now on, I want you to tell me…

The things about Dad that only you know.

(p. 50)

Pakkun: Sakumo…

(Sakumo: Pakkun…)

Pakkun: …really was a loving, kind man.

Kind, and…

(Sakumo: Pakkun…)

Pakkun: Kind, and…

…Kakashi.

I’ll tell you about Sakumo.

The things I’ve always wanted to tell you

I’ll tell you now.

Kakashi: Okay.

(p. 51)

Kakashi: Thank you for telling me about Dad, Pakkun.

Pakkun: …Don’t you dare die.

(Pakkun…)

I’ve had enough now.

Yeah. Enough.

(p. 52)

(Sakumo: I’m asking.…)

Pakkun: Sakumo…

The two of you are exactly alike.

Kakashi: Oh, really?

Pakkun: Everything’s alright now.

(p. 53)

“Kakashi!”

(p. 54)

(No text)

(p. 55)

Kakashi!

(p. 56)

Kakashi

(Note: I think the favour Sakumo asked of Pakkun was to take care of and be mindful of Kakashi always. This isn't outright stated)

#naruto #kakashi #kakashi hatake #hatake kakashi #pftranslates #fan comic #translation #fan translation

[scuttle-buttle]

Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!

Part of the Baron on the Run series. Also available on AO3 @  scuttlebuttle. They say that life inspires art. i was vibing while making pasta last night and viola.

Summary: You and Zemo do a little dance.

Word Count: ~1.3

Rating: T

Tags: fluff, mildly suggestive, cold war talk, mentions of child loss, indiana jones, disco, italian food, just dance reference

______________________________________________

Zemo entered the kitchen and set his coat on the back of the chair. "Evening, liebe. How was your day?"

You walked over to him. The one nice thing about being quite tall was that you didn't have to go far to reach his waiting lips. Giving him a soft peck, you hummed "it was good. I finally got to look over that set of documents from Belarus this morning. There wasn’t much that I didn’t already know in it. Although, it did confirm that the push for economic and social stability in the capital, as well as the implementation of some westernized practices, was not so that the BSSR and USSR could modernize or even compete with the west - rather it was a means to draw people to settle in Minsk instead of the countryside where it would be easier for Hydra to keep tabs on anyone they perceived to be a threat…” you continued to ramble in the most analytic jargon about the historical implications you discovered.

Helmut made himself a glass of scotch, occasionally nodding along to what you said. Running out of breath you finally stop; "anyway… enough about me."

“I like listening to what you are passionate about. You have worked hard to be so successful and so young.” You gave him a look as though you didn’t believe a word he was saying. And it wasn’t like you were that young, only a little over a decade between you two.

“How did the recon mission go?”

"It went well. I was able to get close enough to the mark to get what I needed. They make it so easy when they openly discuss their plans. You would like the cafe - perhaps later this week we will go. The agreed rendezvous is late tomorrow night; I won't wake you." For the last month Helmut had dedicated his efforts to helping you with your dissertation research. You had limited resources on Sokovia due to the rampant corruption the nation faced. Those few that you had access to Helmut would help translate.

Hands gently massaging your shoulders as he leaned over you. His cologne invades your senses. “This right here - I’m not sure what it means,” you would tell him, pointing to the passage.

Glancing over it for a moment, Helmut responded with the translation. “You know schatz, I’m beginning to wonder if you truly need my assistance, or if you just want an excuse for me to touch you,” he chuckled.

The fall of the country and subsequent annexation made matters even more challenging. Some unsavory underground groups had been smuggling documents and the like for a profit. With his background in EKO Scorpion and the intelligence community it was an easy way for him to spend his time tracking the materials. "It won't just be for you, liebe. If I can recover any of the surviving artifacts and records from before the Avengers destroyed my country it is a step towards preserving my heritage," was his justification. He wouldn't admit it, but you knew he liked being back in the field, so to speak. You also knew that the more information he had the more cards were up his sleeve.

"Don't forget to bring your hat and whip when you go," you ribbed, referencing one of your favorite film series; Indiana Jones.

"Of course... Hmm. Maybe when I get back I will have to wake you. I'm sure we could put them to better use than just treasure hunting." Helmut loved to tease you after he discovered your fondness for a young Harrison Ford. In fact, teasing and flirting with you had become his favorite pastime since your first night together.

Groaning out a laugh at his suggestive joke, you turned and headed back over to the stove. You set on a large pot of water to boil. Helmut approached the stove. "And what are you preparing for dinner this evening, liebling?" he asked, rubbing your back through your top. You knew he didn’t expect you to cook for him, but you wanted to.

"Spaghetti and a homemade sauce with spicy Italian sausage - my father used to make it when I was growing up." You stirred the simmering sauce, letting the flavors continue to marinate together.

"It smells wonderful,” he moaned. Somberly he added “I used to make a bolognese. It was the one dish I knew how to prepare. It was my son’s favorite.” You squeezed his side in hopes to offer comfort.

“You’ll have to make it for me sometime,” you request tenderly.

His lips turned up in a soft smile. “Yes I will, liebe. I'm going to go change before we eat, I will be back shortly." He kissed your temple before heading to the bedroom of the house you were occupying.

When the water boiled you placed the noodles in the pot and set a timer. Grabbing your phone off the counter you pulled up Spotify, queueing your "feeling it" playlist. The beginning notes of ABBA's Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! began. Heading to the cabinet you brought down two glasses. Picking a bottle of red wine - sweeter to balance with the spiciness of the sauce - you opened it and poured yourself and Helmut a glass each.

Hips beginning to sway to the rhythm of the music, you returned to the stove. This playlist always put you in a great mood. You continued to move to the music, singing along softly. You take a generous swig from the bottle of wine still in your hand before adding some to the sauce, stirring the pot thoroughly.

Dancing through the kitchen you sing out 'gimme! gimme! gimme! a man after midnight!" You knew you were a terrible dancer, even worse than Helmut. That didn't stop you from partaking in the activity, your hips gyrating and shoulders shimmying.

You didn't notice the movement in the hallway, still caught up in the song. Wine glass in hand, you attend to the stove to ensure the water doesn't boil over. The song eventually changes over to a Boney M classic. "There lived a certain man in Russia long ago…." Excitedly, you put down your glass. You remember the choreography like it was yesterday, middle school you always danced to the song in an old video game.

Without hesitation you clapped your hands and swung your hips to the beat. Turning you notice Helmut leaning against the kitchen door. How long he'd been there, you didn't know. Based on the amused smile he wore he clearly enjoyed watching you look like an idiot dance.

Making your way to him you reach out for his hands. Helmut followed along, albeit hesitant to move his body yet. You locked your eyes to his. Wiggling your eyebrows exaggeratedly at him, pushing and pulling his arms in time with the beat. “Come on, Helmut - dance with me!”

“I thought I was a terrible dancer? Did you not say that in Madripoor?” he interrogated without a single trace of seriousness.

“Oh you know I love the way you dance,” you giggled, still moving to the beat.

There was a glint of something in his eyes; suddenly Helmut took charge of your little dance. He twisted his hips from side to side, breaking one hand away from you to twirl you under his arm. The two of you danced like dorks, firsts pumping and hands in the air and wagging your fingers around the kitchen.

A sudden shrill from the timer stopped your movements, both bursting into fits of laughter. Turning off the timer Helmut took care of draining the pasta for you. As you caught your breath you couldn’t help but admire the man. He had spent so long seeking vengeance, yet now here he was dancing like a weirdo with you in the kitchen. His face was so relaxed. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him look this happy and at peace you thought to yourself. Maybe, just maybe, you had something to do with that.

“Is the sauce ready?” Helmut inquired with a lingering smile.

You took a minute to keep appreciating him before answering. “Yeah. Yeah it’s good.”

Tag list: @ay0nha​

#zemo #zemo x reader #helmut Zemo x reader #baron zemo #baron helmut zemo #tfatws zemo #zemo fanfic #daniel brühl #daniel bruhl #helmut zemo #scuttle-buttle #scuttle-buttle masterlist