#i just wanna rewatch my idiots slowly fall in love again

[singlethread]

When are they putting season 2 of 911 back on Hulu

#i just wanna rewatch my idiots slowly fall in love again

[merlinssaggyyfronts]

BBC Merlin Rewatch:

01x01: The Dragon’s Call

—

FIRSTLY THE FUCKING DESCRIPTION LMAO “Merlin, a young country boy” COUNTRY BOY AHAHDHSNDH IF ONLY YOU KNEW!!! ITS LIKE SETTING SOMEONE UP FOR DISASTER BUT THEN AGAIN THEY WERE SO LIKE I MEAN-

aw look at merlin all happy and smily, walking into camelot like he isnt going to witness the death of his best friend/king and basically everyone he loves

LOOK AT HIM HES SO HAPPY!!! HE DOESNT KNOW YET

“like everyone, he must live and learn” yo shut ur bitchass up lizard man u literally tried to murder everyone in camelot that one time

“his name: traumatised 😍😍”

AH YES THE OPENING!!1!1!-!-! AHHH THE AMOUNT OF HAPPINESS I FEEL HEARING THE OPENING

fuck ur bitchass uther no one likes u

“i pride myself as a fair and just king” sir didnt u like basically kill ur wife... and thousands of peo- OH MY GOD MORGANA BB ILY

oh jesus okay hes dead um chile-

“when i came to this land” wait i thought he was raised kn camelot brb i forgot im an idiot wait,,, does this mean before this it was the du bois family on the throne of camelot?? also, mired in chaos? u mean like.... before ur wife died and everyone was living peacefully? ....okay

“merlin, seeing a person who's been stated had been studying magic get beheaded: [a magical being himself] ah,, welcoming.” -my gf

“since the great dragon was captured” ....so did no one think about where they put a dragon?? a captured one at that. ud think he’d be more smart but nah he just left a random ass dragon under his castle like THAT is going to end well

YUHH MARY COLLJNS HATE HIM!!! YELL BABEY YELL!!! “you took my son!” YES MURDER HIM OMG I CAN FEEL HER PAIN

“a son for a son!” omg why couldnt u have killed uther bb ur the perfect villain i love u ur literally just a loving mother i-

OOOOO GAIUS

.....why is there a bunny mask in there

why is thERE A BUNNY MASK-

why didnt merlins eyes glow when he dragged the bed to gaius to save him

also whats this slomo magic why didnt he do this after this why did season one haveso much magic and like every other season was just everyone throwing it back

like i get instinctual magic but like.... if its instinctual wouldnt it happen more especially when his powers get stronger-

gaius: what did you just do?!

also gaius, five seconds later: i know what it was!! i just wanted to know where you learned it

merlin: 😐

merlin, about his magic: i was born like this

gaius, who knows full well warlocks exist: impossible!

(are warlocks naturally born knowing how to use magic without learning? i mean if u have to learn magic like a sorcerer then whats the difference between a warlock and a sorcerer cuz wouldnt sorcerers atleast have to have some magic in them to actually cast spells? am i dumb or do i just not get it)

wait so merlin arrived in camelot on a wednesday

merlin, walking into camelot: it is wednesday my dudes

merlin: [witnesses an execution] aaaAAAAAA-

“someone that might help him find a purpose of his gifts” oh honey he’ll get something mUCH LARGER THAN THAT-

—

oH MORGANA

SHUT UR BITCHASS UTHER SHE WILL KILL YOU-

“the more brutal you are, the more enemies you’ll create” oh the waY SHE PREDICTED THEIR FUTURE OO

ah bless u lady helen/mary collins we love them spicy villains

...why do you have a dressing table in a tent

[watches mary collins murder lady helen] i never snitch on dadd- ...someone pls delete me

merlin, about his instinctual magic: i just do it!

gaius: ...lord have mercy what did i just sign myself up to

what ever happened to sir olwen did he die from accidentally overdosing

—

oHHH THERE HE IS THERE HE IS THERES MY BOY!!! MY LIL PRAT MAN!!!!

merlin looks so offended, oh god i could watch this whole scene for HOURS

oooOOOO YES MERLIN FUCK HIM UP!!! SHOW HIM WHOS BOSS

“do i know you?” “im merlin” “so i dont know you” ugh theres already sexual tension

“i would never have a friend who could be such an ass” “or i one so stupid”

also them, ten years later: “i use my magic for you arthur, only you” “just hold me” “i cant lose him! hes my friend!” “thank you..”

“tell me merlin, do you know how to walk on your knees?” OOOOH THE BOYS ARE FLIRTING

NOT THE “would you like me to help you?” SIR YOU ARE FLIRTING SO INTENSELY AND DONT EVEN REALISE IT SIR DO YOU KNOW YOURE FALLING IN LOVE

im convinced atleast half the knights with arthur were like “ayo thas kinda sus bro 😳😳 ayo 😳😳”

arthur: tell me merlin, do you know how to walk on your knees? would you like me to help you?

merlin: ....i really dont know how to answer that

imagine being paid to throw fruits at colin morgan omg id be so thrilled

OOOH HERE COMES OUR QUEEN GWEN!!! MY LOVE MY EVERYTHING YES ILY

gwen: well, arthur looks like one of those, save the world kinda men... and you dont

merlin, 1500 years later, having failed his destiny: well i mean you’re not wrong

—

gaius: uther banned magic a long time ago

merlin, flabbergasted as if he wasnt raised on tales of the death of his kind every day in the kingdom right next to his: why?!?!?

gaius: the dragon is imprisoned where nobody can free him

merlin:

(that is the face of someone knowing full well hes going to free that dragon. look at him. he’s already made up his mind.)

—

[sees merlin and arthur in the marketplace] oh heres he is again heres the lil bitxh ooo theyre about to FIGHT

god hes flirting so hard without even realising it, oh my god

“i could take you apart with one blow” “i could take you apart with less” um sirs this is a mcdonalds drive thru 😃

arthur: ahah, you’re in trouble now~ 😏😏

i had to pause cuz wHAT THE HELL WHY DOES HE SOUND LIKE THAT-

—

....yall are yelling very loudly, um, arent there guards near yall? people passing by? please relax

“im just a nobody, and i always will be” OH IF ONLY YOU KNEWWW

“if i cant use magic, i might as well die” ....well, ive got a surprise for you-

“maybe theres someone with more magic than me?” like... a whole dragon? i mean if you say so 👀

merlin about why he was born like this: if you cant tell me, no one can!

a fucking dragon, basically every magical creature and the druids: WELL-

the camelot guards are so stupid how the hell is this kingdom still standing

how does kilgharrah know merlins name? in prophecy hes known as emrys (and we see basically every magical being call him emrys and not merlin,, i think). so how does he know? did he stretch his neck long enough that he could somehow hear merlin? is it cuz theyre kin? is it cuz merlin and gaius were yelling so loudly that kilgharrah could hear them all the way in his cave? ig we’ll never know 🖐

merlin: where are you?!

kilgharrah:

kilgharrah: without you, arthur will never succeed.

merlin: ....oh look, im already paranoid

the amount of sadness i feel hearing kilgharrah say “none of us can choose our destiny, merlin. and none of us can escape it” is INSANE cuz in season one you can SEE merlin trying to escape it. hes doing his damned best trying to have some control over his life. and then in later seasons you can see the light slowly drain from his eyes as he becomes just another toy for the gods to be entertained by. he realises he cant control a single thing about his life so he does the one thing he can: protect arthur. and he loses SO MUCH because of it! its not fair, he deserved so much, and when he finally got everything he could ever ask for, it was taken away from him by his own mistakes.

arthur, seeing morgana in a beautiful dress: god have mercy 😍

uther: .....um

the way they set arthur and morgana up as if they arent gonna make them siblings i- what the fawk 😄

person A, who knows arthurian lore: oh no! arthur is going to have an affair with morgan(a) and have mordred! oh no!!

person B, whos seen merlin: oh no in this show its worse

person B, knowing full well theyre siblings: much worse....

gwen: who’d wanna marry arthur? 🙄

-

gwen, getting crowned queen of camelot: well fuck

hhhnghnh yes queen sing them to sleep yes murder his bitchass (and fail but like its the thought that counts)

on a sidenote tho this is such a fun way to murder someone, id try this

the absolutely OFFENDED “FATHER!” and the horrified look in arthurs eyss when uther announced merlin would be his manservant is PRICELESS OMG

oh the way uther unintentionally plants the first seed of his sons love story omg 😍😍

Conclusion: this episode is a 10/10 greatest episode with so many iconic scenes omg. mary collins u will forever have my heart for unintentionally kickstarting merlin and arthurs relationship destiny. i loved the whole thing and oh GOD does it already hurt knowing full well how the show ends

#this was a RIDE #eli’s merlin rewatch #yes i have to say everything that happens in the episode pls leave me alone #01x01: the dragon’s call #merlin #arthur pendragon #uther pendragon #morgana le fay #morgana pendragon #guinevere #guinevere pendragon #gwen #gaius #kilgharrah #lady helen #mary collins #bbc merlin

[despairdiseases]

I saw your virgil angst post au where Thomas started repressing him after DWIT and I love that idea soooo much! I fell in love just reading the au idea, but could you write a fic? If so could you please tag me in it? Sorry to bother you lol but I just wanted to let you know i love that au so freaking much it just makes me adifjsaydfasgfsjd

It happened slowly, oh so slowly. No one is really to blame even though they think they are. He just started...being there less and less. Skipping the occasional family dinner. And then movie night. And then he stopped debating with Logan. And then he just. Stopped doing everything. 

Until nothing remained.

“Oh, and Janus?” 

“Yes, Logan?” 

Logan hesitated before continuing, Roman already on his mind but he didn’t want to hurt Janus, make the wound worse on both sides, “Thank you for today, but...I would appreciate if you tried to talk with Roman. I am sure both of you said things you didn’t mean.”

Dec- Janus’ face fell on the mention of Roman, but he still put on a smile that somehow wasn’t as smug as it used to be, “Of course, I will try.”

And then they departed. 

And then Janus checked up on Remus.

“Remus, look, I’m-”

“The ‘Evil Twin’?! Really?! I can’t fucking believe you!”

And then the door shut to his face.

And Logan checked up on Virgil.

“Virgil?” he said after his third set of knocks.

More knocks.

“Virgil, I am quite concerned with your well-being, please open the door.”

More knocks. 

“...I know you don’t like it when we come to your room, but if you don’t answer I will be forced to act accordingly to the situation.”

He didn’t knock after that.

“...Virgil?” the name started to sound strange in his mouth.

Logan looked around the empty room.

Maybe he went to the dark sides? To make amends, maybe?

Logan walked out of the room, ignoring the feeling of wrong slowly rising in his gut.

- - -

“So how are things with Virgil?” 

Janus shrugged. Remus still hasn’t come out of his room. “Maybe worse than before, haven’t seen him in over a week. Did he say anything about me?” he reminds himself to add, “Or Remus?”

Patton furrowed his eyebrows, “Well, I wouldn’t know, he’s cooped up in his room all day and night. Logan told me he was probably at your place.”

“I haven’t seen him in over a week,” Janus repeated.

“We neither.”

- - -

“He’s probably just throwing a tantrum,” Remus sounded annoyed, edging on irritated.

Remus hasn’t come out of his room until Roman basically dragged him out of there with bribes of fighting a new, better Dragon Witch and just general “please”es.

Not like Virgil, no. Virgil didn’t talk to anyone or even played his music way too loud like he did before and Logan wasn’t even sure he came out of his room to eat.

No, Remus was just angry at Janus. Which is fine, he understands. He fucked up and of course Remus is angry with him.

“Somehow I think Virgil would be more...vocal if he did.”

“Why don’t we just go into his room?” Roman played with the tablecloth on the dining table.

“I already tried that and I told you it was empty.”

“Logan, that was like a week ago.”

Eyes were rolled on both sides.

“A week and four days ago, actually.”

Roman groaned, “Whatever.”

“Roman’s right,” Patton finally spoke up, he had been unusually quiet, “We should go in his room, even if it’s against Virgil’s wishes. I am scared for him.”

So Remus got up, ignoring the others asking him what he’s doing, and went to Virgil’s room because god fucking damnit he just wants to get over with this and be angry again.

“Hey, raccoon, you better open the fucking door up or I’m coming in,” he accompanied the harsh words by equally harsh knocks, “And don’t you dare get all pissy about it when I do.”

He didn’t wait for Virgil to answer - if he even would answer.”

And Virgil didn’t get all pissy when he came in.

Because there was no Virgil.

And no cobwebs. And the lighting was brighter than he remembers.

So Remus went upstairs just as the other sides got to the door.

“Yooo, Stinky McStink, I’m in your room, don’t you wanna yell at me?” his voice was exaggerated and obnoxious. Maybe he was...just sleeping. Right?

The bed was made.

The curtains weren’t drawn. 

It started to look too much like Thomas’ real bedroom.

That’s…

No there’s no way, right?

It’s not like Thomas actually could-

“Remus?”

Of fucking course it had to be Janus.

“You noticed it, right? The lack of...Virgil-ness.”

He doesn’t have the energy to be angry right now, “You don’t think that...Thomas couldn’t hate him that much...right?”

Right, Janus?

“You guys found him?” Roman’s voice came from downstairs.

“No,” Remus’ voice came quieter than he intended, but still enough for Roman to hear.

And a day later it became official when the door vanished.

Virgil was gone.

- - -

No one went to check up on Thomas anymore, because he would always ask Where’s Virgil? Where’s Virgil? Where’s Virgil? and they would have to tell him He’s not feeling well He’s tired He’s probably rewatching Nightmare Before Christmas again and Thomas knew something was wrong.

No one really spoke anymore or did anything. 

“Could you get me the cereal?” Roman asked one morning, voice quiet and messy like his hair. It was too early to speak.

“...He ate the last cereal we had,” Janus responded after a while. It was too early to speak of Him.

“Oh.”

- - -

They weren’t exactly sure how to break the news to Thomas that he repressed his anxiety about everything so much that he repressed Anxiety.

Thomas still wasn’t quite sure how that worked but his anxiety levels haven’t changed much so he figured that it was temporary.

- - - 

A month after they told him it became normal to speak.

“Could you get me the cereal?” Roman yawned. 

Janus hummed, reaching to the cupboard for the box.

“Thanks,” the shorter mumbled, opening the box and eating it’s contents dry.

“You’re gross,” Janus watched after him.

“Apple doesn’t fall far from the tree!” Remus giggled. He wasn’t mad at Janus anymore and Janus apologized. 

- - -

Two months after they told him it became normal to walk the hallways. They still avoided That Corner Where It Was but it was normal to walk there again.

“Do you think we should paint the hallways?”

Logan raised an eyebrow, “Roman you do know you can just change the colour of the hallways with your mind, right?

Roman tsked, “No I meant like,” he fumbled his hands, trying to find the words, “Paint Paint.”

“You mean like decorate them with drawings?”

“Exactly!”

“Well, I suppose it would be a good bonding activity, and possibly make Thomas feel more welcome.”

It was Remus who ended up painting a dragon over That Corner Where It Was. And as far as Logan was concerned, the drawing looked rather - how the kids would say - rad.

- - -

“Three!”

“Two!”

“One!”

“Happy New Year!” they shouted in unison, even got Logan to join in.

Thomas was invited to a party at his friend’s house on New Year’s Eve, there were fireworks in the sky and everything. Thomas wasn’t sure when he got a party hat.

“Alright you guys, see ya’ next year!” Patton was the first one to return to the mindscape, ending the night off with a corny joke.

The rest of the sides gradually went back too, as the night turned into very early morning. Roman and Janus were the last ones to stay, some of the fireworks still going off and the sound of parties and laughing and too loud conversations filling the air around them.

“I like that you grew your hair out, it’s a good look on you.”

Janus looked at Roman, who was sitting on the stairs beside him, “Well, you know what they say:”

“New year new me.”

Roman joined in on that part, doing his best to imitate Janus’ voice.

And they laughed.

And they talked.

And for the first time in a while it felt like nothing was missing at all, and maybe it wasn’t.

- - -

“Remus! Where did you put my hairbrush?” Roman’s voice came loud and shrill from the bathroom.

“I didn’t put your fucking hairbrush anywhere, you’re just a blind idiot!” Remus’ voice came from the kitchen, somehow even louder.

Logan ignored the twins’ squabble and continued his morning routine. What was he doing? Ah, right. Put in eyedrops. Make coffee. Clean his glasses-

…

“Remus why are my glasses broken?”

Remus groaned, “Why is it that when something goes wrong everyone always thinks it’s me?!”

“...Do you want me to list off the things that went wrong that you did cause?”

“Whatever, I didn’t break your fucking glasses, Logie,” he drank the coffee Logan made straight from the coffee maker.

Remus could basically see the gears turning in Logan’s head.

“House meeting!” Logan finally yelled, the loud noise making even Remus flinch. Logan repeated the words a few times until the rest of the sides came into the kitchen.

“It’s too early for this, Logan…” Roman whined, “‘m not sure Patton was even awake.”

Patton rubbed his eyes, glasses missing, “I wasn’t.”

“Sit down, I have something I want to discuss with you.”

“Well, yeah, you better,” Janus sat down beside Roman, who was still half-asleep. 

“Right, so, you have noticed a lot of things go missing or break as of recently, as well as Thomas being significantly more anx- stressed out.”

A chorus of agreement came, some looks pointed at Remus.

“And we can’t be sure it’s Remus.”

“At least someone here trusts me. Not that you should, trusting me is a horrible idea.”

“So?” Roman rubbed the last of sleep out of his eyes.

“So who is it? I am sure that you wouldn’t do anything like this, and neither would Patton. While me and Janus aren’t exactly the fondest of your pranks.”

“Maybe it’s Virgil’s ghost haunting us,” Remus laughed.

The rest of the table didn’t laugh.

“He…” Logan started again, “It’s not like Thomas can resent someone, especially a part of himself, for so long, can he?”

“He’s gone, Lo,” Patton’s voice was sterner than he intended.

“You know very well that I couldn’t keep everyone hidden from Thomas forever,” Janus grew visibly uncomfortable at the talk of the past.

“Yes, but this time Thomas consciously chose to repress him-”

“Oh for fuck’s sake did you forget his name or some shit?! Why are you so afraid to say it?! Virgil is gone. Maybe dead. None of us have been suppressed like this and none of us know if Virgil’s somewhere in Thomas’ mind or not, maybe it is him.”

“Maybe you’re just holding onto a fantasy of getting your best friend back when he wasn’t that for a long time before he disappeared!”

“I...what did you just say?”

Patton stumbled over his words, “I-I’m sorry, I just-”

“Get fucked! I don’t want your fucking half-assed apology!”

Reopening an old wound can sting.

Especially reopening it so quickly.

“I don’t want to fucking hear it.”

“Remus-”

Roman called out too late, as Remus was already out the kitchen, the coffee pot shattered on the ground.

And the silence covered them like a big blanket, the slam of the door distant in the quiet. They just sat there for a few seconds, or minutes, or maybe an hour, no one was really sure. Until Patton broke the silence.

“God, I messed up. I always mess up.”

Surprisingly, the second one who spoke was Logan, “Everyone deals with the stages of grief in their own way and for how long they need. It’s okay to not always be okay,” huh, what a hypocrite.

- - -

No one mentioned it again, but it was always on everyone’s minds when Logan’s glasses went missing, or Janus’ cane, or anything else from any other side. Or when Thomas got more anxious than he should be.

Or when he had his first panic attack in years.

They all did their best to calm him down, but no one could replace Virgil in their department. Sure, Janus is good with self-care, but that’s more to prevent a panic attack and what to do after a panic attack. Patton can’t think, he spirals just like Thomas. The twins only supply more “what if what if what if what if” scenarios. Logan still can’t do emotions. 

After that, they all knew something was wrong. That Something always lingered in the mindscape and made everything seem...off. Like when Remus moved all furniture a few inches to the left and everyone crashed into it without knowing why. Except this wasn’t Remus and it wasn’t just a dumb prank.

No one wanted to say it, so no one would say it.

It was all just like it was in the beginning.

- - -

Roman was tired. He hasn’t slept in two days and has an art block and everything is horrible. But it’s been worse, he can get through this. Not like he has much of a choice.

The hallways are dark and the floor is cold and he almost trips on a dirty shirt on the floor that he’s probably gonna scold Remus about.

Just one more cup of coffee. 

He’s been pushing it to three days.

One more day then I’ll stop.

Everything is dark so it’s puzzling - to say at least - to see light coming from the kitchen. Just faint, barely illuminating the walls.

Is Patton awake again? Or Remus?

No, no, Remus is in bed you know that you share a room.

Roman walked to the kitchen nevertheless. So what’s a little conversation along with coffee, he knows the side won’t ask him about why he’s awake because he will, in turn, ask them and he’s sure they don’t want that.

“Hey, I hope there’s still some coffee left in the-”

The fridge door shook slightly as the figure jumped in surprise and looked at him.

The rest of the sentence got stuck in his throat and forced down into his gut where a sick feeling was building up, but he doesn’t want to vomit.

It’s eerily similar to their first meeting. At night, Roman going for a midnight snack while he...He, just looks through the fridge. And then Roman scares him. And they stare at each other.

Will he throw in some insulting comment and grab something to eat before walking away like the first time?

No, no, this is not the first meeting all over again you don’t hate Him He doesn’t hate you but you shouldn’t be meeting in the first place He’s dead He’s been dead for almost 3 years why is He standing here what-

“Oops,” He put his hands next to his head like he’s getting arrested, “got caught in the act.”

This wasn’t the same voice He had. It was laced with venom and anger and there was nothing about it that said We’ve been friends for years and you accepted me and we are on good terms.

“Might as well tell me then, Princey,” the nickname souned bitter and harsh and sharp on his tongue and Roman wanted to throw up. He put his hands in the pockets of his dirty patched up (there seemed to be more patches than the normal fabric, much like how even though this was Him it didn’t feel like Him or act like Him and he wasn’t even sure if he was talking to Him anymore) hoodie, hiding his bitten nails with chipped patches of fabric on them.

“What did I miss?”

#long post #lmao sorry if there are any typos i cant type #i hope this is what you imagined! and if not that it's good! #ask #sanders sides #logan sanders #roman sanders #virgil sanders #patton sanders #janus sanders #remus sanders #implied roceit

[morkofday]

am gonna be so bold and ask three characters for the meme:

- nam sunho (my country)

- chacha (jatn)

- hei xiazi (because i wanna hear more about this boy)

have fun 💞

wow ok this was such a delight! i’m so happy you ended up asking for three bc this gives me such amazing variety ;; there are so many characters i love and have loved throughout the years and am happy to take this trip down the memory lane~

(placing under a cut obviously bc three characters at once makes this a damn novel. also, a spoiler warning for my country and sand sea!)

Nam Seonho – My Country: The New Age

How I feel about this character

Oh boy. It’s been a hot minute since I watched My Country, as you know. I still remember how I messed up the beginning and actually skipped the whole first episode, so I think I kind of… Didn’t get to see Nam Seonho being more carefree? Yes, I saw them all in the kite flying scene which still breaks me to this day, but I didn’t see him and Hwi being absolute disasters together (in the funny way). So, because of this, I think my first feelings with him were annoyance and maybe even distaste. I am a bit prejudiced like that. Especially when he got compared to someone like Seo Hwi.

Despite my first thoughts about him, Nam Seonho very quickly grew on me. I hated to see him make all those mistakes and bad choices just because he had decided that all the people he loved hating him was easier than letting go of his own wish for revenge. He was a very complicated character because of this, and I very much enjoyed that conflict within him. He tried very hard to be bad and cruel and horrible (and succeeded to some length) but underneath, he was still kind and loving and just so very, very hurt. I understood his wish to avenge his mother. I understood his hate towards his father (as we both did, that man can burn in hell). I understood why he chose to do all those things he did and still wish he didn’t have to. That there had been another way. That he could’ve trusted Hwi and work with him instead of taking this lonely path by himself. But then again, I know they both were fighting against powers that were bigger than them, against powers they wanted to protect the other from, and there were many occasions where they didn’t have any other choice but to take the worst option out of all the bad options available. My Country broke my heart with that and I still can’t be mad at it because it made all those punches so perfectly.  

Simply put: I love him, but I also hate him. I am angry at him for doing all these things, for being so damn selfish, but I understand why. He is good underneath all the bad. He is so broken underneath all that grace. He deserves to think more highly of himself, and I wish he could’ve regarded himself as someone to be loved instead of someone to be left behind. He has done horrible things, some of those for solely his own benefit, but I think he still deserves forgiveness in the end. He is dear to me and watching him grow and get at least some brief glimpses of happiness made my heart swell.  

All the people I ship romantically with this character

There is none other than Hwi. I can’t really ship Seonho to anyone else despite the drama trying that very badly. I never felt he would’ve worked with Hui Jae and his thing with Yeon also felt more like a bond between siblings. I also know he had a strong bond with his… second in command? Companion who he saved? Frenemy?? Sungrok but I felt like that didn’t go over there either. And hey, why change something that works? He and Hwi were meant to be, somehow. I can see it as something one sided and painful and breaking and desperate, something fragile that was never made to exist, but I can see it as something reciprocated too, something discovered and learned and gently blooming. They could work either way, either Hwi never learning about Seonho’s deeper feelings and just going away with Hui Jae, or them colliding in the middle of everything and deciding they can’t let go. It’s canon anyway that they were bonded from the beginning. I can’t remember any exact lines from the drama, but they kept saying that they were tied and I think it really works no matter what the feelings between them are.  

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Oh boy. Seonho didn’t really make that many friends throughout the drama because he just kept pushing people away and being a dick, but I did adore how he came to trust and care about Sungrok. They started off as enemies, Sungrok just threatening to kill Seonho any chance he got and Seonho giving back the same amount, but then they just slowly bonded? And Sungrok came to admire Seonho, and then, in the end, sacrificed a lot for him. They worked, and I was happy that Seonho had at least someone by his side. That he allowed that for himself. Also, I just enjoyed some of their banter a lot because Sungrok really gave Seonho some reality checks out there which he needed, that idiot. And the death scene still haunts me to this day, okay. Seonho after such a loss, once again, was just… So horrible to watch. He lost so much and gained so little. It was cruel that he had to lose his only self made friend too.

My unpopular opinion about this character

I have no idea what people think about Nam Seonho in general? I think my love for him is already an unpopular opinion :’D That I’m willing to understand him and forgive him might already feel strange to some. He just… We’ve gone through this, right? I have a type when it comes to characters I love and relate to. It’s angry, annoying, and broken. Nam Seonho is all three and that’s why he just makes my heart ache. He is loved despite his flaws. Hwi cares about him despite all the wrongs he’s done. He is, in some sense, still redeemable and deserving of better things.

I don’t know what else to say about him? There might be more if I remembered more of the drama in general. It’s just been a long while and I’ve basically relieved all of that through fics alone. Which we have too little of. I am so sad. They would deserve many, many words written about them sigh. Maybe one day I could rewatch this heartbreak fest too, right? Would you join me if I did?

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon

As I said, I don’t really remember all the twists and things that got said or done in that show. I feel like it was very much complete. At least nothing has bothered me enough to remain in my mind. Of course, I wish the ending was different and that they were given proper happiness but I am not mad about that ending. It worked. It was some type of peace for them. Seonho figured out his most important thing in the world, his reason to live at all, and then got to die in Hwi’s arms. I don’t think there’s anything better for him, knowing who he is and what he’s done. I don’t know if either of them could’ve lived on with all the burden they would’ve had to carry after their life choices. So, I very much have to say that there is nothing I would change. Maybe if I rewatched I would think differently but for now, this is all I have.

Zhang Chacha – The Journey Across the Night

How I feel about this character

The first feeling I have for Chacha is happiness. She just made me so deeply happy all the time when I saw her in JAtN, with all of her craziness and flirting and smiles and adorable expressions. She was a delight and I adore her.

Another feeling (or feelings) would be warmth and fondness. She was so very real in that drama. She was very human. I loved how strong she was, how strongly she reacted to everything and how demanding she was with other people. She knew what she deserved from others and treated others the same way she wanted them to treat her. She was complicated but in a very loving way. She made me cry so much. She was so unafraid and so trusting despite getting her trust betrayed. She was so accepting. She was just… Everything. I can’t even give words for how amazing she was.

One strong feeling I have for her is also pride. She has gone through so much, since she was very young, and still, she manages to stand there. Still, she manages to smile and laugh and be very open with people (even if she hides certain parts very carefully). I loved that about her, how there was this balance between things she wished to tell and things she didn’t want to talk about. She had somehow found this perfect line to her intimacy with people. And then it was amazing to follow how she slowly redrew those lines with Shi Cheng and Li Jia. Those two of course had to push a bit, came a bit too close for her comfort, but in the end, she learned to trust them with her secrets. She learned that these people don’t change their opinion of her just because of her mother. It was amazing to follow the main trio’s joined growing process. And Chacha somehow felt like she was the most competent out of all of them, Li Jia probably falling to the bottom instead and Shi Cheng hanging somewhere in between, but it was somehow so comforting to watch her stumble too. To find herself again. To reach outside of the lines she had come to know within her life. (And because of all of this growth, I can’t even put to words how much I love JAtN.)

All the people I ship romantically with this character

You pretty much know this already but Li Jia of course. And then Shi Cheng (or A-Cheng I guess?) too because I am still mesmerized with the thought of having them become a trio. They would work so well like that. They balance each other out. They’re such a mess but they ground each other in this messy world. Everything is simple when it’s the three of them and I adore that for them. They would love each other so well. They would be so happy and would continue to grow. Also, I just love it how different Chacha’s relationship with both of the boys is because that leaves such interesting options for their romance.

My non-romantic OTP for this character

To be honest, the main trio falls in here too. I adore them as friends, first and foremost. They just work so well like that! I love how they keep helping each other when it comes to understanding all of them. I love the friendship between A-Cheng and Chacha because they bicker, but they are so supportive of each other too. A-Cheng would fight the whole world for Chacha. Chacha would punch A-Cheng in the face when he needs a reality check. They love Li Jia so fiercely, both of them, and Li Jia loves them back the same amount. It’s wonderful to watch.

Another one is Sharp. Their friendship is just so soft. They have grown up together and Sharp is like an older brother and a dad to Chacha and I love that for them. And then Chacha is this huge support and help to Sharp too, his closest connection amongst people. Chacha is so protective of him. She takes zero shit when it comes to the people she loves because it doesn’t matter to her who they are and how society sees them. And just. I don’t even know what to say about Chacha and Sharp. I loved how they understood each other even without any words and then did all these random things instead. The stairs jumping thing was so amazing and broke me so badly. They showed how deeply certain people can affect who you become in the future. It’s a relationship I wish I had for myself.

My unpopular opinion about this character

Oh no. To be honest, I don’t know if I have anything but love for Chacha. She is one of those very few female characters I actually like. One of the few I can even relate to, on some level. She was well written. She felt consistent and fleshed out. She had complexity and her own character outside of the romance which is usually the part that irks me if it’s not handled well. She was not just “the girl”, she was her own self and had her own story to tell and her own problems and her own flaws and decisions and mind. She was good. I have nothing else to say.  

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon

God I can’t say this here because you haven’t finished the drama yet :’D I don’t want to spoil anything. Come ask me about it once you’re finished okay?

Hei Xiazi - Daomu Biji

How I feel about this character

Wow I feel like I come here to dig out my heart to present all these thoughts to you. But I don’t complain. Hei Xiazi, Hei Yanjing, Hei-ye – he’s an enigma, okay. I am not sure how to grasp him. He gives me different feelings in every adaptation where I see him, a little like Pangzi who I talked about while answering the other asks. But for Hei Xiazi, it’s also a bit different? He fits so differently into every story. So let me try to unpack all of that.

In Reboot, Hei Xiazi gets probably the biggest role between all the three adaptations I count him as part of (in Explore With the Note we see him maybe thrice and that doesn’t give much to think about so I exclude that. Though I love it how obviously he flirts with Xiao Hua even there lol). He was this funky secret agent type of guy there. He went to places and did stuff and fought people and maybe exploded something. He had his own romance story going on in that one and it, surprisingly enough, made me emotional. It intrigued me because Hei Xiazi is this deep mystery no one seems to know (not even NPSS probably) and Chuchu was slowly figuring him out? I liked that. I liked seeing that soft side of him and maybe the most serious side we ever get to see of him? It was kind of amusing how lost he was before that young woman.

My second meeting with him was in Sand Sea. I wasn’t that sure about the actor in that one, but he managed to give Hei Xiazi this very… Dramatic feeling? After Reboot’s epicness and somewhat lightness on his part, it was kind of a shock how shabby and gruesome and almost cruel he could be. Sand Sea in general seems to bring out darker sides of all the main characters, so maybe I shouldn’t have been surprised, but that still shocked me. Hei Yanjing being cynical! And snarky! And almost evil! He felt so cold in that one. I started to realize that he also has all these burdens to carry. That he also has pains we don’t know about. That he has all this past hurt we aren’t privy to. It made me want to wiggle my fingers inside the tiny cracks I could see in him (especially through his relationship with Su Wan) and pry him apart. He fascinated me but unfortunately, was left to the shadows at the end.

And then Ultimate Note happened! And I was so cynical about how he looked, how Liu Yuning made him look, that I wasn’t sure how seriously I could take him. I was so prepared to like him less than I had because Reboot’s version still felt like the best one. But, surprise surprise, I came to love him. I adore Liu Yuning’s version of him because he’s just so silly and confident and unapologetic and doesn’t really care what others think about him when he can survive without them anyway. I was a bit horrified with the strong humor aspect they gave him with his money craziness but that also worked in the end? I grew so fond of him. 

So, my feelings for him are a mess and go in many directions but I do like him as a character. I love it that Xiaoge has this other immortal around himself who is so different. I love it that he is a complete mystery (and so I can put my hands on him as I wish). I love it that he’s full of these cracky jokes. I love how cool he is but how he also manages to be the most uncool person out there. Maybe that’s his charm. (All the leather totally isn’t the other charming thing about him, nope.)

All the people I ship romantically with this character

Oh boy. Like I said, I did enjoy him with Chuchu in Reboot. They worked in some sense, or at least it was kind of interesting to follow their very… random romance? Hei Xiazi really was so lost with her and it was so amusing when usually he’s so sure of himself. It was puppy love and never led anywhere but it was sweet nonetheless. 

But then? After Ultimate Note? Is there anything else but Heihua? Not really. I like those two together because they’re such polar opposites but somehow manage to complete each other. For Hei Xiazi, Xiao Hua is someone who is his match and won’t fall behind no matter where he goes (that is his biggest concern when it comes to Chuchu who is just a normal person and not a tomb robber). Who he can tease without worrying about crossing some type of line. Who understands secrets and not being able to talk about certain things. Who understands death and loss and pain. And for Xiao Hua, Hei Xiazi is someone who will take him as he is. Who doesn’t care that he’s the head of one of the Mystic Nine families. Who allows him to be his cynical and calculative and neat freak self. Who makes him smile. They’re amazing. I hope we can watch Ultimate Note together at some point and you can see them being chaotic gays together :’D

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Ah, I feel like Hei Xiazi is very similar to Pangzi when it comes to this too because he just knows everybody. He’s just worked with so many people throughout the years that he has connections everywhere. And I don’t even know how tight those connections are in reality? He feels a bit like a ghost, just drifting in and out of people’s lives. He doesn’t stay. He doesn’t have anything permanent to come back to. He just does his job to whoever is paying him the most and then moves on. It makes me kind of sad but also suits him. 

But from what I’ve seen him now, I have some relationships I love to see him in. The first one is with the Iron Triangle because he feels like this silly uncle, especially to Wu Xie? One more uncle for that boy haha. Then with Pangzi they are really very similar and get along great because of that (Reboot is a delight with this). And with Xiaoge it’s just so funny to see him continue his joking XD He’s the only one who I know can tease Xiaoge and get away with it. They are some type of friends? I’m not sure if they know their relationship even themselves but it warms my heart.

Then there’s him with Su Wan! I was very doubtful about that relationship once I first heard about it. Su Wan is such a soft and gentle and naive boy, I couldn’t imagine him being with someone like Hei Yanjing. But wow, they work so well? Su Wan adores his Hei-ye. He just wants to make his master proud! And even if Hei Xiazi is very annoyed by Su Wan and cynical about him at first, Su Wan really surprises him. He’s very smart and capable and learns quickly. He clicks with Hei Xiazi and somehow ends up honing some of his sharper edges, especially after all the darkness he’s obviously met before the events of Sand Sea (man has been stuck on a desert for ages?? No wonder he’s a bit done with everything). It’s so cool :o Probably the best duo if I consider all the parent/guardian/teacher relationships our boys acquire in Sand Sea (Yang Hao and Huo Daofu are such a shit show and then Li Cu and Wu Xie are just way too questionable and in need of so much therapy oh boy). I love them. I’m so excited to write about them :’D

My unpopular opinion about this character

As always, I have no idea what opinions there are regarding Hei Xiazi. I don’t think I have even given him so much thought that I would be able to give any opinions. I am still just euphoric about the fact that I’ve come to love him. I’m so happy Liu Yuning loves him too. He’s a secret I’m keen on solving. He’s cool. I hope there was more content about him. I am so excited about my standees!!! Sorry, I really don’t have much to say here haha

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon

If I could get one thing (because let’s be honest, at this point I would love a whole side series for Hei Yanjing because I am just so intrigued), that would be more of him in Sand Sea. Especially at the end of it? Because after falling for Heihua, I just keep thinking about that brief glance and nod he and Xiao Hua share across their battlefield. They never talk there and I wish they did. I wish I could see that. I wish I could hear Hei Xiazi talking about Xiao Hua’s damn fake funeral with him. They have a bond between them, I wish we could see more of it! But for now, I guess I need to make do with writing that myself hmph

thank you so much for sending me this ask! i’m sorry it took a while to answer but you know me the best so i’m sure you will forgive me. i had fun and i hope you enjoyed reading all of this ^^ ♥ 

#wow this is long #a damn novel #but i love all of them!! #thank you #gonna tag this also as #my country: the new age #the journey across the night #dmbj #hei xiazi

[angelic-holland]

New Girl, Old Feelings // th x fem!reader

requested: netflix and chill w/ Tom, friends to lovers 

Word Count: 2.1k

Warnings: embarrassing loss of virginity stories, smut

A/N: small flashback in italics at the beginning! 

It became almost a routine for you and Tom. He’d come back from filming and sleep for about a day, then you’d show up with a box of pizza and the pair of you would sit, typically with Tessa between you, and watch New Girl. 

You actually became friends when he told you a fake name from New Girl while you were serving him coffee. 

He didn’t like using his real one, knew that people might find out who he is and go crazy in Starbucks. So instead he smiled at you and said ‘Schmidt’. You grinned right back, “New Girl fan?”

And he was cute, and you loved a guy with good taste in tv so when he replied with, “big fan, sort of want to marathon it with somebody,” you flirted back.

“I’ve been meaning to watch it again too,” your eyes twinkled, daring him to respond, to invite you over. 

He nodded, the same twinkle in his eyes before you wrote the name on his cup along with his drink order, casually writing your number below the fake name.

When he texted you the next day you were over the moon, but when you found out he was famous, you figured it was best for you two to be friends. It’s not like there was nothing there. You would flirt, he would take the bait and flirt back, but it was all playful, neither of you moving past the flirtatious friendship you found yourself in.

You were watching episode 23 of the second season, “Virgins”, each of the characters recounting funny, heartwarming stories of how they lost their virginity. Tessa was at his parents' house since he just got back from his press tour for Spiderman: Far From Home.

“So,” Tom nudges your shoulder.

“So,” you nudge back, feeling his stare on the side of your face.

“How’d you lose your virginity?”

You choked out a laugh, “you really wanna know?”

“I’ll tell you mine if you tell me yours.”

“This is so god damn embarrassing,” you laugh, burying your face in your hands.

“Can’t be as bad as mine.”

“Okay, I was out with a guy, we had just saw Suicide Squad and we were making out in the front seat of his Jeep. And we, you know, did the deed, but honestly he wasn’t my cup of tea so I was just picturing Margot Robbie the entire time-,”

“Wait are you-,” Tom pauses, “cause I don’t care if you are I just thought-,”

“No, I’m not gay, I don’t prefer labels, guys are hot, women are hot, everyone’s hot.”

“Even me?”

“You know you’re hot.”

“True, come on there’s gotta be more to this story for it to be embarrassing.”

“And I apparently leaned my back against the horn for too long and the mall security guard caught us, his dick literally inside me, clothes still completely on, fucking in his car. Worst day of my life, by far,” you weren’t exactly embarrassed by what you were saying, because this was Tom and you told Tom everything, you were comfortable but the memory made your cheeks heat up.

“My dad caught me.”

“Oh I’m so glad you also got caught, that’s the fucking worst isn’t it?”

“He kicked the girl out too, literally in the middle of having sex he told her to put some clothes on and get out of his house.”

“Tom! Oh my god that’s the worst actually.”

“Might’ve had something to do with we were pissed drunk after prom but yeah, one of my many fails.”

“Many! Oh Tom, do tell.”

“No, no way, too embarrassing,” he laughs, hand moving to rest against your leg, it was a casual touch, his finger drawing gentle circles against it, you found out he enjoyed human touch, whether it was a head on a shoulder, hand on the thigh, and it was comfortable. You enjoyed the warmth his fingertips spread through your body.

You both turned to pay attention to the characters on the screen, Jess was pushing the elevator button and you knew what was coming next. 

Nick sweeps Jess off her feet, his eyes trained on her lips. Out of instinct you lick your own and Tom’s fingers freeze on your thigh, breath caught in his throat.

“What are you doing?” Jess asks Nick as he guides her back to their apartment.

“Let’s not think about it,” Nick replies. 

“Tom?” You turn your head to face him and he’s smiling at you as Nick and Jess kiss on screen. 

“Let’s not think about it,” he whispers and his other hand moves to cup the back of your head, eyes staring at your lips before he pulls you towards him. Your eyes slip shut as you meet his lips with an excited shiver. 

“Wait,” you pull away, hands smoothing down the front of his shirt, “I don’t, don’t want this to be, just this.”

“What do you mean?”

“I want you to be mine,” You whisper, eyes searching his for an indication that he didn’t feel the same. That your New Girl rewatch was over, that you made things awkward by searching for more.

“Oh thank fuck, I’ve wanted to be yours since you wrote Schmidt on my coffee cup.”

You smirk before moving his lips back to yours with a tug on the front of his shirt. 

His tongue meets yours and it’s excited as you run your hands under his shirt and sigh as your hands meet his warm stomach and chest.

His hands were more urgent than yours, like he would let go and you wouldn’t be there anymore. 

They moved to grip your hips, your legs easily swinging over his to straddle his hips.

Your mouths never broke apart, slightly sloppy as you attempted to make up for a year of lost time with the press of his lips against yours, fingers driving you crazy as they run along the bare skin under your tank top. You could feel his cock hard underneath his sweatpants against your ass, your hips slowly grinding against his hips.

“You want this?” Tom asks, fingers playing with the edge of your shorts.

“Oh fuck yeah,” you laugh and he’s helping you pull his shirt off, yours is next and he takes a deep breath as your breasts, encased in a pretty purple fabric press against his bare chest.

“God,” he grunts before his hands work on unhooking your bra. You toss it to the side and his hands are back on you, gently cupping your breasts as his lips trail down your neck.

Your hands work on unbuttoning your shorts as he takes a nipple into his mouth, tongue soothing it after a cheeky bite. 

“Tom,” you whimper, his arms make quick work holding your back and sides tight before flipping you over. You pull off your shorts, shoving them down your legs while his hands make quick work of tossing them off the rest of the way. The lace covering where he wanted to be was shiny and wet with your arousal and Tom grunted as he settles on the floor between your spread thighs, fingers working your panties down your legs. The sight of your pussy, aching and wanting leaves him breathless as he balls your panties up in one hand, the other is a comforting weight on your hip.

“Can I?” He asks, lips leaving heated kisses up your thighs, pausing right next to your pussy.

“Please,” you whisper and his eyes darken before his tongue darts out and explores your folds just like he explored your mouth before. 

The sound of the theme song for the next episode and your quiet whimpers and moans filled the room as his lips wrapped around your clit. 

“Tommy,” you cry out as he slips a finger into your heat, then another, you’re clenching around his as he crooks his fingers just right and the sound of that nickname falling from your full lips has him moaning around your clit, sending you hurtling towards a mindblowing orgasm. 

Tom works you through it, fingers slowing to a stop as his lips move to lick through your folds, as his fingers pull out of you he sucks them into his mouth and the sight alone makes you whimper before he’s standing up.

“Where’re you going?” You manage to get out, chest rising up and down as you try to catch your breath. 

“Condom, stay right there darling,” he grins before bouncing off to his room. He comes back shortly with a silver wrapper in his hands and you pull him back down to you, turning him so you can straddle his hips. It’s a little clumsy as your chin bumps into his head, struggling to turn but you both giggle and his soft eyes are making your heart melt as you help him pull his sweatpants off. There’s no barrier between you now, no unsaid words and flirty eyes. Just you and Tom, bare for each other. His hard cock is throbbing against his stomach as you kiss him, one of your hands move to stroke his cock, thumb swiping the precum off the head and using it to help your hand. 

He groans into your mouth as his hands work to pull the condom out. You work in tandem to put the condom on and when you do his hands move to your ass, holding onto you as you lift yourself up, gripping his shoulders before slowly sinking down on his cock.

You pant against his lips when he’s fully seated inside of you. 

“Fuck,” he moans your name as you start to move, his hands making sure your body is flush against his body. 

No words really need to be exchanged other than whispers of each other’s name, your fingers leaving crescent marks in his shoulders as his press tightly against the skin of your hips, helping you move when the burning in your thighs slows you down. 

You’re so close and Tom can feel you clench around him, his cock twitching in response.

His fingers find their way to your clit, you’re too caught up in the feeling of his wet lips against your jaw, sucking and marking you when his thumb rubs your clit, you’re coming with a cry of his name. One more push of your hips against his sends his head spinning and he’s coming with a grunt of your name as you relax against him.

“That was nice,” you mumble as he helps you off of him.

“Just nice?” A laugh and an eyebrow raise meets your sweaty face as you collapse back against the sofa. 

“More like so mindblowing you sound like an idiot when you try to describe it.”

“Fair enough,” Tom smirks and you watch him turn and admire his butt while he takes the condom off, tossing it in the trash in the kitchen before disappearing to his bedroom.

He comes back with a washcloth and a T-shirt of his. 

He settles back on the floor, using the washcloth to clean your soaked pussy and thighs. 

“Here,” He says, helping you slip his shirt on, smiling as his fingers trace the mark he left on your jaw.

“Do I get to keep it?” You ask, tucking your legs underneath you while he starts to get dressed. 

“Hmm,” he steps back as he pulls his sweatpants up and stares at you, hair crazy, bare legs, arms wrapped around them over his T-shirt, “I’ve always wanted to see you in my shirt and I love it.”

You smile softly as he leans down and kisses your lips. You never want him to pull back for air.

Before you can wrap your hands around his neck and pull him down for round two the front door to his apartment swings open and you hear Tessa’s excited bark.

“Hey Tom, y/n,” Harry’s voice rings out and you quickly throw the blanket over your bare legs. 

You turn your head sheepishly as Tom attempts to grab your clothes, bra and panties still bright purple thrown on the ground. 

“Oh shit, well about fucking time,” Harry laughs, leaning against the living room entrance, Tessa jumping up on the couch. 

Tom waves off Harry who tells him to keep it in his pants when Tessa’s around before leaving.

As you and Tom settle back on the couch, your head in his lap, Tessa’s head resting on your stomach you start laughing hysterically. 

“What?” Tom asks curiously as he runs his fingers through your hair.

“It’s fitting the first time with each other someone also catches us.”

*** 

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#tom holland #tom holland smut #tom holland fluff #tom holland imagine #tom holland one shot #tom holland oneshot #tom holland x reader #tom holland x fem!reader #tom holland x reader smut #tom holland x fem!reader smut #tom holland reader insert #tom holland fem!reader insert #tom holland x you #tom holland x y/n #tom holland x y/n smut

[e1ana]

another... platform... (and also momojirou)

i have twitter now >:D i want to be able to interact more w/ other writers and yall and also share stuff i won’t post on here/ao3 as threads! my user is e1ana_ if you wanna come say hi :)

anyways below is some momojirou i put there recently because i felt weird just advertising my twitter and leaving hehe

“Momo,” Jirou says, one hand cradling her massive stomach and the other loosely holding a few umaibo. “You said you were coming to bed in a few minutes.”

Momo sighs and tucks her pen behind her ear. Work had been crazy today, which meant more reports. Nobody had told her the boring downside of being in the top ten. “Yes, love, I’ll only be a minute. I just have to finish up the paperwork.” 

“Said that twenty minutes ago.” Jirou mumbles and waddles her way back into the bedroom, the crinkling of another umaibo pack trailing behind her.

Jirou had been the one to vote for her being the one to get pregnant. Momo had just broken into the top ten, and her need for an unnaturally high BMI and rapid food consumption might affect the pregnancy. But the consequences of the journey had certainly taken its toll on both women. From rapid mood swings to extended morning sickness, it seemed like these kids really had it out for them.

Still. Neither thinks they would give it up if they could. 

Momo goes back to detailing her patrol, TV humming away in the distance. Taking on a four on one battle in a cramped alley had been exciting, no lie, but coming home to a stack of papers and a cranky wife wasn’t exactly the warm welcome that Momo would’ve liked. Stop that, she chastises herself. She’s ready to pop, and you’ve been away from home for nearly half the day. Of course, she won’t be greeting you at the doorway. The hero sighs and places her writing utensil on her desk. She can deal with this tomorrow - for now, she has a cranky partner to soothe.

She tucks the papers back into their clip and turns on the kettle. A cup of tea before bed had been routine for the past few years and it hadn’t changed with time. That was another thing - going from having one tea guzzler in the house to two had put a massive dent in Momo’s supply. Kyoka claimed that the babies like it and that it's probably good for me - all unbacked statements, but convincing nonetheless. If tea was what Kyoka wanted, it’s what she would get. Momo steeps the extra cup with care, adding the perfect amount of sugar and making sure no extra leaves are floating around.

Momo knocks on the door before pushing it gently open. Kyoka is splayed out on the bed, head propped up on a pillow to look at the TV from over her belly. She peeks over and makes room for Momo upon her entrance. One cup of tea is placed on the table next to her and the other clinks when Momo slides into bed. “I thought you finished Followers already.”

Jirou sips her tea before turning around to face her wife. “I wanted to rewatch it. You were taking so long I nearly got a quarter way through.”

Momo wraps her arms around Jirou and the pregnant woman worms her way into a more comfortable position. “Sorry, my love. You know how long papers can go on.”

Jirou snuggles closer and unwraps another umaibo and bites half of it off. She’s at the part of the show where a famous photographer meets an aspiring actress. She closes her eyes and leans her head against Momo’s chest. Her face is barely above the covers, thick blanket tickling at her bottom lip. Momo’s hand wanders to her stomach, rubbing the taut skin and warming it beneath her palm. Jirou hums and places her hand on top. 

There’s a flutter beneath her skin and Jirou hisses. Someone is deciding to be a little gymnast, it seems. Momo sighs and moves her hand, her aimless rubbing turning into a one-handed massage. “I love getting to feel them move. It’ll be any day now, I swear. How’ve they been treating you?”

“Like hell. One of them - I can’t tell who, but I think it might be Hisami - has been literally jumping on my bladder and doing flips for the past few hours. Little bugger.” She reaches up and cradles Momo’s face in her palm, opening her eyes to meet black. “I can’t believe I’m only a week overdue. It feels like a month, at least.” As if on cue, one of the babies kicks and nails Jirou so hard she swears she feels her rib crack. Momo coos and rubs the sore spot, letting her wife mumble irritated curses into her skin.

“They’ll be out soon. All that waiting, all the struggles, and we’ll get to see their pretty little faces.” She pecks Jirou on the cheek and turns her head into the pillow. She clicks off the TV and helps Jirou settle into her body-sized pillow. “I love you, Kyoka.”

“I love you too. Goodnight.”

***

It happens, ironically, in the middle of a bi-monthly class 1-A reunion. Jirou’s in the middle of a conversation with Kaminari and Mina, the pink girl yammering on about some insane romantic escapade. After graduating from UA, she may as well have been a professional serial romantic alongside being a hero. 

She’d thought that Mina had gesticulated into her cup and spilled water down her leg, but upon further notice (and further sitting in it), the liquid was coming from inside her dress. Kyoka’s breath catches in her throat at a harsh cramp and latches onto Mina’s arm.

“I hate to interrupt your story, Mina, but I think my water just broke.”

Her friend pauses, yellow eyes blinking slowly and processing information. Kaminari, the fucking idiot, takes the information through one ear and out the other. He’s off like a bullet train, wailing about “not being ready to be an uncle.”

“Man, right in the middle of my sentence!” Mina leads her over to sit down at a table. Oh shit, this is really happening. A few minutes give way to another clench in Jirou’s abdomen, solidifying the reality of the moment. She presses both hands to her stomach and breathes in deeply. Oh boy - well, girls. In a matter of hours, she’d likely be holding her children in her arms.

Another contraction hits, sharper and more insistent than the last time. “Momo,” she manages between breaths. “Where’s Momo?”

“Right here.” She slides next to Kyoka, ponytail swinging behind her. “Sorry, I was in the restroom for the big moment. Kaminari’s been very diligent in catching me up, though.” The man in question is heaving his ass off, sweat running down his brow and darkening the pits of his sleeve. He flashes Jirou a thumbs up before going back to his impressive wheezing.

Momo rubs her hand as they sit for the next half hour or so. The contractions aren’t even close to ten minutes apart, so there’s no rush in gathering the bag and designating a driver. Jirou almost wishes there was - though they are far apart, the contractions hurt pretty badly and make her gasp in discomfort. Being the only person not in some stage of panic, Todoroki offers to drive. Kaminari and Midoriya both head back to their house to get the hospital bag. All the while Jirou grips away at her wife’s hand and breathes in the direction of Mina and Shinsou.

“All right. We can go.” Todoroki whirls back around, swiftly walking back to the car with both Momo’s purse and Jirou’s handbag. 

Jirou is shaky as she stands, nails digging into both Momo and Mina’s skin. Neither makes any indication that they’re in pain other than a slight hiss that goes unnoticed. They walk to the car, Jirou wobbling half from the pain and half from her massive stomach. In all honesty, she couldn’t wait to be able to jog for more than three steps or touch her toes again. Even the short distance from the door of the building to the door of the car was practically making her work up a sweat.

She clips the seatbelt herself, shooing away the other people to have a moment of blessed silence in the completely closed car. That peace is dispelled when another wave of pain has her damn near doubling over. “Fuuuuck,” she hisses at nobody in particular. “Fuck.” She says again directed at her belly. A heel rams into her guts like one of the cheeky little ladies had heard her swear at them. “Fuck you. You two better get out fast, I'm already over this.”

Then the car doors are opening and far too many people are piling in. Todoroki takes the driver's seat, Mina the passenger, and Momo the backseat beside Jirou. Momo presses a slow kiss to her forehead and one to her stomach, rubbing her belly in an attempt at consolation. “Soon we’ll get to meet our daughters, Kyoka. You’re so strong. Going to give us two healthy little girls.”

Jirou nods and clenches her teeth tighter. A few more hours of what already felt like hell, but the payoff would be so worth it. She closes her eyes and leans her head back, open window sending hair flying into her sweaty face. She focuses on her pulse, and her breaths, and the grip of Momo’s hand in her own.

The news of the oncoming hero child is leaked fast and at the hands of a bewildered teenager driving by who happened to get a glimpse through the window. Thankfully the group manages to get to the hospital with only a little traffic trouble, meeting up with Kaminari and Midoriya to secure the bag.

Jirou’s gasps and groans escalate in volume, growing into full-on yelps of pain with every contraction as they become more frequent and intense. Momo stays with her the whole time, pushing her hair out of her face and rubbing her arm and whispering words of praise.

God. Kyoka thought she’d known pain, that the contractions were hard, but she hadn’t been mentally prepared for pushing out two entire babies. It had seriously felt like someone was ripping her snatch in half for upwards of six hours. 

But, when all is said and done, and the doctor places Hisami and Anzu on her chest it's so worth it. Jirou cries openly when their warbling cries meet her ears and their little bodies squirm to make themselves more comfortable. After a few minutes when Anzu falls asleep (it had to have been Hisami stomping on her bladder), Momo’s quiet tears join hers when she cradles and rocks the black-haired baby.

“Beautiful,” she whispers, switching Anzu into one arm to grab Jirou’s hand with the other. “Look how beautiful they are.” 

Hisami tosses and turns, trying desperately to break out of the blanket burrito she’s ensnared in. It had to have been her, stamping all over Jirou’s insides like that. She blinks open her eyes slowly, purple meeting purple as she stares at her mother. Jirou laughs and wipes her face. Yeah, pregnancy was hell. But if this is the payoff - if she gets to hold her two beautiful daughters in her arms with her wife by her side - it all was beyond worth it.

#hehe follow me if you want #or dont i guess but also please do #i still... dont know how to use twit really... #momojirou #bnha #My writing #:) enjoy

[shesgayfor]

Insecurities

Summary: Sebastian and reader discuss their insecurities. Major fluff

Characters: Sebastian Stan, Reader

TW: Insecurities (?)

 He’s finally home for some quality one on one time. You and him are lying side by side on your king sized bed, his tall figure spooning your slightly smaller one. He’s been stroking your hair while you play with his hands for the past hour. There was minimum chatter, just enjoying each other’s company.

“Y/N.” He lightly whispered.

“Yeah Seb?”

“We should talk about something, something strange but interesting.” You unlocked yourself from his spoon grip, to turn to the other side and face him.

“What would you like to talk about, mister.” Your tone was slightly sarcastic.

“I don’t know. We could each share something about ourselves that we don’t like, and explain why.”

Your eyebrows furrowed deeply at him. “What? Why.”

He laughed a bit, revealing his perfect teeth. “Why not. We’ve never actually discussed these things before. We’re always so busy.” He looked deeply into your eyes. “I wanna know you on a higher level, Y/N.”

The expression on your face was one of confusion and surprise. “Okay, but since you started it you go first.”

“Fair enough.” He laughed. “I’ve always struggled with my hair. I can never get it to do what I want. Whether it’s long, short, or even the rare occasion it’s a medium length. It bothers me that it doesn’t fall perfectly into place, like ever.”

“Wait Sebastian really, that’s what you’re gonna say?”

“What do you mean?” His tone defensive.

“I thought you meant like, something else nevermind.” You rolled on your back, now looking up at the ceiling.

“Did you have something else in mind?” He raised his body a bit to lock eyes. You looked over to his piercing blue ones. “I thought you meant like, insecurities. Like, deep ones. Not something silly like your hair.”

“You saying my dislike for my hair is silly?”

“Kind of. Seb, insecurities are on a whole other level. Like, sometimes it’s so hard to even talk about them because they’re that effective. They’re things to not joke about. I can joke about your long, luscious hair because you aren’t insecure about it, you just don’t like it.”

“Wai wai wait, who's to say I don’t have insecurities, LIKE my hair?”

“Are you?” Your tone was stern. His eyes looked slightly frightful, intimidated yours. “No.” He responded softly.

“Amazing.” You turned back the way you were about a minute ago, your back facing him. This conversation was making you emotional, talking about your insecurities was the hardest thing ever.

“Y/N,” he placed a hand on your shoulder. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize there was a difference.” His hand lightly rubbing your shoulder.

You felt yourself build up to a cry. It was going to come out sooner or later, and he was going to force you to deal with it. You weren’t ready. You stayed quiet while slow tears rolled down your face. You were able to keep it quiet and hidden from Sebastian, until you sniffled an obvious “I’ve been crying” sniffle.

“Y/N please, I’m sorry.” He kept trying. He didn’t actually understand what was going on, he just wanted to help. “Please talk to me. I’m so sorry if I said anything to upset you. I’m sorry.” He rested his forehead on your shoulder.

“It’s not what you said, it’s what you brought up.” Your voice shaking as it spoke.

“What do you mean, love.” You stayed quiet hoping he’d figure it out. He’s smart. He needed time. “About insecurities?” He spoke out of nowhere. You nodded. “Oh love, I am truly sorry. We can drop this topic right now. Or if you want to talk about it, I’m open ears. If not, of course that’s okay. Whatever you want to do. I’m sorry.” His constant apologizing was making you cry even more. He cared so much, and you knew you’d feel safe sharing with him, about whatever.

“What physical features of mine do you find, desirable.” You asked blankly.

“All of them.”

“But in specific.”

“Y/N, all of your features. Your hair, your eyes, your smile, your voice, your body, your hands, everything.”

“My smile? Are you sure?”

“What? Yes I’m sure. You can light up an entire room.”

“So you don’t care that my teeth are crooked and fucked up.”

“Y/N, no. How could you say such a thing.” His voice got low and sad, like this hit a soft spot with him.

“Seb, I’m highly insecure about my teeth.” You heard him sigh behind you, while he lifted his free arm and pulled you closer. “I’m sorry.” Was all he whispered.

“They’ve been crooked my entire life. Since high school, I wanted braces. Our family couldn’t afford them though. I’ve hated my smile ever since.”

Sebastian tried to roll you over so he could look into your eyes, but you weren’t budging. “Y/N please look at me. Please.” His voice was soft and sweet.

With hesitation, you rolled back on your back, head lying on the pillow. His body was directly next to yours, as he laid watching you closely.

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t know about any of that.”

“How could you? That’s why it’s an insecurity, it’s not something that’s just freely spoken you know.” He nodded as he continued to watch you talk.

“I think you have a beautiful smile, love.” He smiled down at you.

“I don’t think I do. Seb, I look at your teeth and just wish mine could look like that too. You have such a confident smile, something i’ll never be able to feel.”

You noticed his face turn red, as he positioned his body to be lying on his back just like yours. His hands intertwined with yours, he sighed deeply. “They weren’t always straight.” He started.

“What?” This jumped your curiosity making your upper half spring up to look at him. He gently lowered you back down to the bed, remaining at the same level.

“Yeah Y/N. I grew up with crooked teeth too. You can look on the internet and it’s all over.”

“Oh right well, I don’t actually google you so…” you trailed off.

He laughed. “Well good! No yeah, most of my acting career I had crooked teeth. It was obvious, not like a slight hidden thing, no. I was deeply upset by it, rewatching myself in movies and tv shows, looking at my teeth, I wasn’t happy. After we shot and filmed winter soldier in 2013, I just had an urge to fix them, or something. So I went to a dentist, and she fitted me for those invisible braces, invisalign.” You were intrigued by all of this, your expression showing it. “I wore it for 6 months and by the end my teeth were straight and good to go to film civil war.” He laughed at the last part.

“Shit babe, I had no idea. That makes so much sense though, because your teeth are incredible.” You emphasizes incredible.

“Thank you love. I’m really happy with my smile now. And you should be too. What crooked are you even talking about?” He shifted to the side again, bringing his hand to your lips, gently pulling them down. You weren’t letting him, as you kept your teeth clenched and lips sealed. “Come on, let me see. I really don’t know what crooked you're even talking about.” He continued to stare at your mouth.

“What are you my dentist? Come on Seb.” You swatted his hand away from your mouth. “I’m embarrassed okay, just drop it.”

“Okay, right. Sorry.” He shifted positions once again, to his back.

You both laid there silently for a few minutes, thinking over everything. His hands were still entangled in yours, as he slowly rubbed his thumb in circles around. You kind of wanted to show Sebastian your teeth, but you also felt like an idiot. It’s not that deep, you thought.

“Okay I’ll show you.” He head turned to look at you. “No laughing, no making me feel bad. Please. I’ll punch you if you do.”

“Deal.” He leaned over closer to your face.

“Dear god this is the worst thing in history but, here goes nothing.” You stuck your fingers in your mouth, lifting up both your top and bottom lip above your teeth, making them extremely visible. You released one hand to point to the crooked ones on top first. Sebastian slowly brought his finger towards your mouth. Without fighting it, he began to touch the crooked teeth with his fingers. An intrigued look came across his face. You then pointed to the lower ones, which were all crooked and out of order. He used his strong hand to carefully open your mouth a bit, as his pointer finger ran across the lower ones. He was carefully examining your teeth, running his finger along them. You clenched your teeth together, biting down, showing more of them. He just continued to study them. “Okay doctor, you done?” This snapped him out of his slight trance he was having with your teeth.

“Sorry, I hope that wasn’t too weird. It’s just, that’s how mine used to look.”

“No it’s fine. They’re bad right?”

“Not at all. All things given, you can’t really tell unless you look closely.”

“Sebastian stop. I hate them, okay? I always will.”

“Will you let me help you?”

“What? You a dentist also? On top of being an actor?” You laughed.

“Goodness no. I can take you to where I went. She can set you up with some kind of braces?” He questioned.

“Seb what? Why?” You were slightly panicky, knowing you’d never be able to afford his dentist.

“What do you mean why? Because I want to help you. She helped me. You like my teeth right?” He deeply studied you.

“Yes.” You replied softly.

“Okay, so she can help you achieve the same result.”

“Seb I don’t have money to spend on my teeth right now.”

He shrugged. “Consider it a gift.”

Your eyes widened. “No. What?” You continued to stammer on with justifiable confusion.

He cupped your face into his hands. “Y/N, we’ve been together for 3 years now. I love you more than life itself. Money doesn’t mean anything, I’m sorry I know that sounds snobby but when it comes to you, absolutely not. Let me help. It’s an expensive treatment, I can take it off your hands.”

His words slowly sank into your head. You love him so much. Tears began to fall again as you looked at him with puppy dog eyes. “Seb I-.” you were hardcore trembling, without words.

“I didn’t know you struggled with this. I went through the same thing, baby. When I finally came into enough money where I could do this for myself, I did it. And I’m so happy I did. You can do the same. Let me help you get there.”

“Seb I don’t even know what to say I-.” you we’re still trembling and crying at the same time. “I’ll pay you back. I promise, I’ll save up everything and by the time it’s all done I can pay you back.”

“No.” He said with a soft tone.

You kept looking at him with disbelief. This man loved you so much he was willing to pay for a couple grand treatment for you. You were without words. Grateful. Happy. Excited. Scared? You didn’t know what to expect.

“Oh my god.” You got up on the bed and planted yourself on top of him, holding him like a giant teddy bear. You nuzzled your head into his shoulder, getting as close to him as possible.

“Is that a yes?” He asked with a laugh.

You pushed yourself up against the bed, your face hanging directly above his, as he continued to lay down. “Are you sure?” Your voice riddled with uncertainty.

“Yes. I’m sure.” He smiled widely at you. You smiled back, and collapsed back onto his body. You wrapped your arms around his head, pulling it close to you.

“I love you so much, how can I ever thank you.”

“Just be here with me. That’s all I need.”

#dentist #dental #teeth #braces #LISTEN lmfao like i said last post #i did my research and i know he fixed his teeth!!! #no clue why so this is just my interpretation of it #i love his teeth #and him #this is so weird but kinda cute #sebastian stan #sebastian stan x reader #imagine #fic #random

[susieskinner93]

Happy Father’s Day 

Ao3

“And Vic was really fine with it?” - asked Aaron biting his lips as they got in the car. It was father's day, and they wanted to spend the whole day with Seb... which was a bit difficult under these circumstances. They both knew this, but they couldn't be away from their little boy on this day.

“I asked her at least 5 times. She said it was okay... that we should go. But you were there, you know this.”

“I know it's just... “

“Diane's gonna come over. I already spoke to her.”

“Okay then.” - he sighed. - “I can't wait to see his little face.” - smiled Aaron already thinking about all the mischief they're gonna get up to.

“I know me too. It was a great idea.” - said Robert already imagining themselves by the pool.

“He loves the water.” - mumbled Aaron. It was true, he really did. Last summer they went to the Hotten Pool more than they could count on both hands, just because Seb loved being in the pool.

"I can't wait to drink an ice cold beer.”

“Alright let us get there first.” - laughed Aaron. - “Do you think he's impatient?” - he asked referring to Seb.

“I hope so, I know I am.”

“That's because you're practically a child.”

“Thanks very much.” – he laughed – “You know how she said he was fussy in the past few days?” - he asked Aaron. Of course he remembered, they had to video call Rebecca at one point because Seb was crying for hours and he wouldn't want to settle for anyone. That was until he saw his daddies, and after a “pep talk” from daddy Aaron, he was good as gold. Nobody knew how he did it. Not even Aaron himself.

“He settled quickly though... after the call I mean.”

“Yeah, because you, husband, are a baby whisperer.” - smiled Robert.

“I'm not.” - blushed Aaron.

“Okay then, explain it to me. Explain it how you managed to get him to sleep within 2 minutes. Just accept the facts alright. You're his favorite.” - said Robert and he meant it. Aaron and Seb seemed to have a bond like no other. And he was grateful for that.

“He doesn't have a favorite Robert... “ - answered Aaron rolling his eyes.

“Alright, we'll see.” - he said smirking. He wasn't upset by it, on the contrary. He adored how much his son loved Aaron. It was something that could always make him smile.

They spent the bare minimum at the house, wanting to get to the pool as soon as possible, but they had to listen to Rebecca's rambling about how she hasn't slept a wink because of Seb. He was crying all night for days now, and of course, he didn't care if Rebecca and Ross wanted to have some sleep. Obviously, in the morning he was the perfect little angel, napping for hours, being adorable, but she never got to see this because of work. So she was really exhausted and didn't mind one bit when Robert called her to take Seb away for the whole day. Ross looked even worse, and he still had that bite on his hand that Seb gave him 4 days ago. Robert wanted to laugh in his face when he told them, but he resisted the urge... barely.

“Do you think.... forget it.” - said Aaron as they headed to Hotten with Seb happily mumbling away in the backseat.

“What?” - asked Robert taking his eyes off the road for a second to look at Aaron – “Think what?”

“It's just... it seems like Seb doesn't really like... Ross...” - it wasn't exactly what he wanted to say, but Robert's next words made his angst go away.

“Or his mum.” - chuckled Robert. And that was exactly what Aaron wanted to say, but he felt like he couldn't. - “I mean I'm not saying she's a bad mum, but... I noticed that she's struggling sometimes.” - Aaron didn't answer to that, just kept on looking at Robert. Robert felt his gaze and stole a look, confirming what he's already suspected – “You wanted to say this didn't ya? I mean for real.”

“Okay yeah...” - he sighed not even trying to deny it. Why would he? – “It's just... as you said, I noticed it too. I think he's missing us.”

“I know, but... with this whole thing with Vic... I just don't think it's a good idea for him to stay over for long.”

“I know... I know.” - he said as he turned to look at Seb – “I just miss him so much when he's not there.”

“Me too.” - said Robert patting Aaron's thigh.

“DADA!” - they heard Seb.

“Alright, buddy we're gonna be there soon.” - said Robert looking at his son in the rearview mirror. - “It's a bit hot, can you give him his sippy cup?” - he asked Aaron.

“Yeah sure.” - he said already searching for it. That's how they spent the whole car ride. Making sure Seb was happy and content, and just enjoying their time together.

“How's the water Sebby? You like it?” - asked Aaron as he watched his husband splashing water at Seb. The little boy laughed so much, mirroring his father's actions, trying to get some water in his face as well. It was adorable to see, and Aaron couldn't help the smile on his face. He sat there at the edge of the pool for a couple of minutes more, before he gave in to Robert's invite.

“Finally.” - he whispered when Aaron got there pulling him to his side. The water was chest-high, so Seb was in his little swim ring. He was sitting in it like a king, without a care in the world. The water was still fascinating for him, and when he noticed no more splashing from his dads, he took matters into his tiny hands, trying to cause a scene. Robert's lips barely touched Aaron's when they heard their son, wanting attention.

“Exactly like his daddy.” - smirked Aaron – “ ...always wanna be in the centre of attention.... don't ya?” - he laughed swinging him around.

“Having fun?” - asked Robert as he rested his chin on Aaron's shoulder, looking at Seb, making funny faces at him.

“Yeah, we really do.” - answered Aaron as he bumped Seb's nose, letting him catch his hand in the process. Robert noticed how at ease was Aaron, and it was relieving. He kept his shirt on, but he wasn't the only one, and nobody seemed to be bothered about it. Robert was worried they might get some dirty looks because no matter how open-minded people were these days, there were always one or two arseholes wanting to ruin their fun. Not today it seemed.

Seb was pouting when they removed him from the pool. He was in it for hours, he needed to get out. They wanted to grab a bite, and maybe he didn't feel it now, but Seb needed his nap. Aaron dried him off, ruffling his hair with the towel, making him giggle. Then they agreed to eat something. They even got ice cream afterwards, and watching Seb trying to eat ice cream was one of the funniest things in the world. He looked like a little monster.

“Wait a second.” - said Robert to Aaron before he jumped up from his seat, only to return minutes later with a lemon.

“What's that?”

“Come on Aaron... it's a lemon. You should know.” - he laughed.

“No you idiot, I know what it is, I don't know why you got it.”

“Remember all those videos we watched like months ago? Where babies were eating lemon for the first time? It was so funny.”

“No.” - he said shaking his head. - “You're not gonna give that to him.” - he chuckled.

“Why not? Come on. It's gonna be funny, you can take a video.”

“Robert, I mean it, you can't do that to him.” - said Aaron laughing already, as he reached out to stroke Seb's little hand. He was unaware of this whole show, he just kept looking at his dads, not knowing what was going on.

“You wanna try this right Seb?” - asked Robert as he sat down next to the high chair. His tone was too convincing for a little kid, so Seb obviously started nodding. - “See? He wanna try it.”

“He's gonna cry.”

“It's a good thing I have the baby whisperer here with me then.” - he winked. Aaron only rolled his eyes, licking his ice cream.

“Go on then.” - he sighed finally.

“Here, just make sure to get it all on camera.” - grinned Robert as he tossed his phone over the table.

“The things I do for ya.” - mumbled Aaron, but Robert heard it.

“Ready?”

“Yeah, go for it.” - he smiled as he shook his head again. It's gonna end in tears... at least he was convinced about it.

Robert prepared the lemon before he slowly reached it out to Seb. - “Come on try it.” - he said with the biggest smirk on his face. Seb took it from him, then licked it, and as soon as he had that sour taste in his mouth, his little face started twitching. That was before he started coughing a bit, but he still kept on licking it. - “I think he likes it.” - laughed Robert.

“And I think that's enough.” - said Aaron, but he still hasn't stopped recording. - “Come on get it away from him.”

“Alright, alright.” - said Robert trying to get the lemon back from his son. It took a couple of minutes before he could achieve that because Seb seemed to like it. In fact, he liked it so much they had to buy a lemon ice cream afterwards, just to prevent the crying.

“I can't believe it.” - laughed Aaron, rewatching the video.

“I honestly thought he's gonna hate it.”

“Then why did ya give it to him?” - asked Aaron shoving Robert away from his side.

“Ouch. It was fun wasn't it?” - he smiled.

“You're lucky he loved it.”

“I think someone wants to go back to the pool.” - said Robert nodding at Seb.

“I think he needs to have at least a little nap first. He's gonna fall asleep any minute, look at his face.” - true enough they were both right. Seb wanted to get back, but he was too tired to keep his eyes open. - “Come here, buddy.” - said Aaron taking him into his arms. - “We're gonna go back, but first, you gotta rest a bit, coz you can't go in there with a full stomach.” - he kept on talking and Robert kept on looking at them. He rested his chin on his hand, looking like a lovesick teenager as he was listening to his husband's soft voice.

“Robert? Robert?” - called Aaron, trying to not speak too loud.

“Yeah... what?” - he said shaking his head to get out of his daydream.

“He's nodded off.” - he whispered, looking at his lap. Seb was holding onto Aaron, his face buried in his chest, as he slept.

“Stay there, don't move.” - said Robert before he took a picture. Aaron wanted to protest but he was too late. - “There. My new background picture.” - smiled Robert showing it to him.

“It's cute.” - admitted Aaron. - “Happy father's day.” - he said reaching out with his free hand.

“Happy father's day.” - smiled back Robert, taking his hand in his, just for a moment before they got lost in watching Seb sleeping soundly.

#robron fic #my fic #robronsummer #happy father's day

[disposedserenity]

BTS in Singapore #LoveYourselfSG

I don’t know who would even wanna read about a concert that happened A MONTH AGO. But if you are still keen, hey ho.

*I’m gonna recount the entire day in great detail, so please feel free to skip any details if you don’t care about it.*

disclaimer: all pics & videos are not mine unless stated, credit goes to bts/bighit/fansites/fans

For reference, I was at yellow 1 (left side of the extended stage)

On the night before the concert, it still felt unreal. I was surprisingly calm and I was even watching 聲林之王 with glenn (who stayed over) 😂 I thought I wouldn’t be able to sleep but I ended up falling asleep at around 3 am.

19 January, 6.00am: My eyes opened and I was sooooo effing tired LOL. I swear I was in a daze all the way till the actual concert. We got ready and proceeded to leave the house at 8 am. Once I arrived at the stadium, there were fans everywhere. The group of us (carol, mingyou, glenn and I) decided to grab a cup of tea/coffee to wake ourselves up and I don’t know how, but it was already past 9 am by the time we bought our drinks. Glenn and I went to collect the various fansupport items (a cool thing about kpop concerts is the amount of free stuff given out by fans) and we went to find glenn’s roommate who had been queuing for merch since 6am.

At 10.30 am, glenn and I went to register for soundcheck. The place we were at (outdoor area outside astons) had various dance cover groups, which was actually a pretty good form of entertainment to pass the time. After we were done with registration, glenn had to pick up an item she had ordered from a fansite, which we had a hell of a difficult time trying to find because the stadium is so freaking big. We had to speed walk to queue for soundcheck right after, as we were already late (queueing started at 12.30pm and it was almost 1pm)

SOUNDCHECK:

That was basically my reaction when BTS walked out.

Even though they were in casual clothes and had no makeup on, (Jhope even tweeted about it!!!), in my mind they looked like this as they were walking over to us HAHAHA:

They performed three songs in total: mic drop, dna and run. I went in assuming they would each be rehearsing their solos, so I wasn’t expecting those three songs to be chosen. But, it makes total sense because these are the more hype songs. My memory is slowly fading so I’ll let drake illustrate how I felt during the soundcheck.

When they all stood in one line right in front of me:

When I heard the opening note of mic drop:

KIM NAMJOON, KIM SEOKJIN, MIN YOONGI, JUNG HOSEOK, PARK JIMIN, KIM TAEHYUNG, JEON JUNGKOOK, BTS!!!!!!!

**when I heard the whistling in DNA**

*run plays* me: YAAAAAAAAS BICTH

me realising midway that bts is real and I’m actually seeing them like wtaf-

armys after the soundcheck:

I don’t know how I ever got so lucky winning soundcheck passes, but I wanna thank all the lords and the universe for awarding BOTH glenn and I this opportunity. Soundcheck is truly such an intimate experience because you get to experience bts in all their natural glory. Even though this was just a rehearsal, it felt like a mini concert and I even told glenn that I’d be fine if I didn’t go for their concert and I can die happy lmaoooo.

Brief soundcheck tidbits (you can read the rest here):

1) Jin looks THE best without makeup, he has such good skin and I swear this man is really really handsome in person. I’ll admit I never bought into the worldwide handsome hype before, but I’m a convert now.

2) Jin kept looking at glenn and I several times and he was FULL ON staring. It wasn’t even a brief glance, it was as if I owed him money and he was waiting for me to return it to him (yes jin i owe u my money and life). I kept wondering if I was delusional (aren’t we all, tbh). To be fair, I think jin was also looking at the barricades behind us and/or staring into space, but this man definitely looked me straight in the eye. How did I survive? I didn’t, I’m typing from my grave

3) hobi glows in person, and he’s really not called the sun for nothing. He was the first one to walk out on stage and he had the biggest smile plastered on his face the entire time. Sunshine radiates from this man with every move he makes. Alongside joon, he was the one speaking the most and leading the members.

Ok, so storytime. There were supposed to be 1000 soundcheck winners but when we entered, there was NO way that there were 1000 of us. Our area had probably around 100 - 150 people max and the same goes for the other side. During the concert ment time,  jungkook mentioned that there were only 200++ fans at soundcheck. The moment he said that, glenn and I turned to each other and went “HUH?” and we clowned him because we thought he couldn’t math... (sorry jk bro for doubting you oops). As it turns out, about 800 soundcheck passes were cancelled because they were obtained through special means and connections. AND, the reason they looked really tired/sad at soundcheck was because they were expecting 1000 fans and they probably thought they couldn’t even fill up that amount. :( fuck you scalpers, fuck you snakes staff, but I’m glad bighit decided to cancel all those tickets because those fools dont deserve it and also more space for us soundcheck winners muahahaha.

Before I delve into the concert experience, I need to vent about my stupidity and anger at myself. **CAUTION: RANT AHEAD** So, the standing ticket holders were let in to the venue from 4 pm onwards, and we happily found a spot to settle in and chill. (it was definitely NOT chill in our pit, but that’s another story) At around 6.30pm, everyone decided to stand up officially. Fast forward 15 minutes, I went into full panic mode because I needed to pee. Usually, I’ll just hold it in but my stomach was feeling quite queasy (I’ve been having a lot of stomach issues since november). I also didn’t wanna watch the entire concert with the constant urge to pee because that’s so fun, right? It just SO happened that mingyou and carol were talking about going to the back to watch the concert so I said fuck it, I’ll just go to the toilet and stand at the back too. Went to the toilet to pee and ta-da, ONLY TWO FREAKING DROPS OF PEE CAME OUT. I was so pissed at myself (my body really) because it made me leave my front spot for nothing. But, what’s done was done. I told myself that hey, at least you can finally breathe now (while internally cursing). **RANT OVER**

CONCERT:

Even though I’ve watched so many fancams from their concert, NOTHING will ever beat the experience of watching it in person. I got GOOSEBUMPS when the first note of idol played and they all rose from the platform. Till this day, I STILL get goosebumps rewatching any idol fancams because of that exact moment.

me watching the IDOL opening stage for the 94919994th time:

I was watching IDOL from the back with carol and mingyou, and I was truly thankful that I had the space to dance and go wild. But, that feeling lasted briefly because I realised I was so damn far from the stage. BTS was performing most of their choreographed songs at the purple main stage so even if I was at my original spot, I still wouldn’t be able to see them. The huge led screens existed for that very reason, but my stubborn ass was adamant on watching them on the stage instead of seeing them through a screen.

me deciding to squeeze my way back in again:

After IDOL, it was time for their intro ment (introducing themselves, saying a few comments the usual stuff). Immediately after, they performed save me/I’m fine. I don’t know why my idiotic ass thought this was a good time to squeeze my way in when I should have been FOCUSED on my boys. I was basically half watching them, half saying sorry excuse me to strangers. *bows head deeply and slaps self*

Ok moving on.... I really freaking love how they created the transition from save me to I’m fine. The part where tae gets up into a bridge position was b-e-a-u-t-i-f-u-l. For some reason, he looked particularly breathtaking doing this move at this very concert. The beauty of live performances, indeed.

Personally, tae stood out in save me/I’m fine the most.

Magic Shop was next, which surprised me because I forgot that it was so early in the setlist. Hence, I was NOT ready for the incoming wave of emotions.

“so show me, I’ll show you” will forever remain one of the most iconic lines in the fandom 😭😭😭 I think I would have cried if this song was played towards the end of the concert. 

As per tradition, a subunit vcr is played before each members solos. So the order goes hopekook, minjoon, tae and yoonjin (yoonjin was too!! much!! to handle because it was 2 separate screens and I didn’t know where to look at???)

Jungkook: Euphoria

(aiyooo look at them cheeks *pinch*)

I love how this has now become our official fanchant (for context). Euphoria is one of my fave intros after seesaw and my ears were in for a treat that night. (It was also at this point I decided to just stay in my current spot instead of trying to find glenn). Jungkook sounds amazing live and this made me realise that wow, he really deserves the main vocalist title.

As most fans would have known, Jungkook was so exhausted at the seoul music awards, which was a mere few days before the concert. Naturally, I was worried that kook would push himself too much in sg. I could tell he was definitely a little worn out, but he still gave it his all (bcos its jungkook) and delivered an impressive performance. I’m truly happy I’ve witnessed euphoria live 😍

J-Hope: Just Dance

JUNG HO SEOK, YOU GOOD??? J-hope showed me what the term bias wrecker really meant that night. I think EVERYONE left the stadium that night rethinking their bias list (if you didn’t, you’re lying). His stage presence and charisma is out of this world. Everyone knows he’s a good dancer, but seeing him executing those moves in person is REALLY something else. 

my face during the entire performance

when he walked over to the extended stage, I was like

WHO IS HE? HE’S J-HOOOOOOOOPE! LOUDER!

I Need U + Run

I honestly don’t remember much from this except for THE vmon moment because they were kinda all over the place. They started at the main stage, then came over to the extended stage and were just dancing their hearts out freely. The members were all splashing water (Idk how they do it so nicely, I’ll probably just hit someone’s head with the bottle) and there was a water cannon. The water cannon was SOOOO strong, I and the people around me were caught off guard (rip my hair & makeup). Bighit probably knew mosh pit fans were sweaty as hell so they wanted us to take a bath. How nice of them.

I loooooveee the outfits they wore here. I’m not a fan of all white ensembles but on bts, I’ll make an exception. They look like ethereal angels who've descended down to earth for one day to grace us with their presence. I’M HERE FOR IT.

look at all da sparkles (and jimin’s messy hair uwu)

Jimin: Serendipity

Till this day, jimin remains my favourite performer in bts. Whenever I watch a bts performance, my eyes automatically go straight to jimin. As a contemp dancer trained in ballet, you can see how that has shaped his performances. Fluidity is the term I would use to describe his style, because he moves like he’s gliding through water. I often find myself rewatching his fancams the most because he has so much adaptibility, its crazy. He knows when to go hard and when to reel it back in. Jimin has such pretty dance lines as well. He stands out because he really pays attention to the little details (the turn of a foot, the hand placement, arch of a back)

Out of all the solos, serendipity is really the prettiest. The combination of jimin’s glitter shirt + pastel hair + bubbles really was a feast for the eyes 😍

See what I mean? Jimin looks so picturesque even in motion.

Trivia: Love

As glenn pointed out, Joon looks so much softer in person (he’s a real life koya 😭). In person, his features are much softer and ‘rounder’. While he may have soft features (how many times can I use the word soft), his stage presence is a huge contrast. I’ve often noticed that out of everyone, joon is the most focused member during performances. While the others will interact with fans/try to incorporate some kind of fan service, rm concentrates solely on carrying out what he’s supposed to do. I can respect that.

Ugh!!! This man!!! Honestly, I was a little worried joon wouldn’t get the hype and cheers he rightfully deserves but Singapore impressed me. Well done, my fellow countrymen (and foreign fans). There was a girl beside me who screamed super loud and kept yelling “KIM NAMJOON!!!!!” so I was like HELLLL YEAH OKAY FINALLY SOMEONE AS HYPED AS ME LEGGO. Jungkook making a heart at the end with namjoon was so cute uwu. Everyone collectively lost their shit when joon slid his jacket off over one shoulder. King of giving the people what they want, I see you.

**another thing to note is how he always looks SOOO happy performing love. You can see the genuine happiness radiating off this man. It makes me happy too 🤗

DNA

The main talking point of this performance was that jimin fell. I actually missed it, because I could only see their side view and jimin was blocked from my pov. By the time I looked at the screen, jimin was already on the floor (still smiling bcos he’s jimin) and I was like oh nooooooo. Apparently after that, they coordinated among themselves mid song to tell each other not to do the ending choreo. A PLUS TEAMWORK, RIGHT THERE! tae even went to wipe the floor after the performance, bless his precious soul.

sidenote: I love love their dna outfits, especially the jackets!! They had different ones for the america and europe concerts, but I do love the asia tour ones just a little more.

Medley

The other highlight of the concert happened here because I was reunited with glenn!!!!!!! I found her just when they launched into fire and we were like OOOOOMMMMGGGG YAS. I actually gave up on ever finding her, but I suddenly saw her blouse from the corner of my eye (THANK YOU GLENN FOR WEARING A PINK DAISY TOP). During the medley, everyone kept following wherever the boys went because the boys were on the moving stage. I felt like I was at a wave pool getting pushed without even moving. They were right at the back at the small diamond stage, so I couldn’t really see much. I had no choice but to watch from the screen. 

funny moments: tae doing pubg dances LOOOL , rm’s legendary hip thrust (you’re welcome)

Airplane Pt. 2

I.. actually forgot that this song was on the setlist. It felt really anti climatic and I wish they would have arranged this to be after DNA or something. 

*airplane pt 2 comes on me:

Jokes aside, I do love this song. It was even one of my top songs in 2018 according to spotify.

V: Singularity

For the first and only time during the concert, this made me speechless. Normally, I’d be cheering and singing along to all of the songs. BUT man oh man, I couldn’t tear my eyes away from tae. While jimin is my favourite performer to watch, I believe that tae is the most expressive performer in bts. Whenever I watch him, I realise that wow that’s really a celebrity right there. Its easy to dress up and put on a show, but not everyone can really perform. What separates a regular person from a star is the x factor, and taehyung is the perfect embodiment of that.

Look

at

that

duality

Fake Love

First off, how did I not notice jhope was wearing leather gloves???? Fake love is still that bitch, no matter what anyone says. It gave us goth bangtan and that’s all I could ever ask for.

I wasn’t expecting them to perform the rock version, and I LOVE IT. I’ve probably watched all of their fake love performances, but seeing it live just solidified it as my fave title track from the love yourself series. Funny anecdote: jungkook didn’t lift his shirt up like he usually does and I swear the people around me were disappointed. They didn’t outrightly say anything, but I could feel the sadness 😂

Suga: Seesaw

ALRIGHT, SHE DROPPED THE CHEESECAKE TIME. Seesaw is my fave solo so you bet your sweet ass this bitch was excited AF!

Singapore did good for the seesaw fanchants, I’m so proud of us *wipes away tear* yoongi definitely noticed our efforts and smiled so freaking wide when he heard us (he absolutely has THE cutest gummy smile).

I remember the entire fandom (me included) got shookt to the core when yoongi first debuted the seesaw performance. We were like ‘suga dancing??’ Seesaw as a song itself was already a pretty unconventional fit for yoongi. We were all used to his hard hitting rap songs (agust d says hi) so we were really surprised. But, you can see how much fun yoongi always has whenever he’s performing seesaw and I’m thankful that he reversed our expectations with this song.

Jin: Epiphany

THIS MAN, yes I am suing. His name is Kim Seok Jin. How dare he make me feel all of the feels when I specifically told him not to? Hearing 50,000 people singing “I’m the one I should love in this world” together was truly a historical moment (just hear how it sounds from OUTSIDE the stadium). Seeing Jin channel all of his emotions into this song was heartbreaking, yet cathartic at the same itme. I would have full on ugly cried but all the screaming probably killed the mood.

the gaze of a man who knows the power he holds, ugh I stan

Epiphany is such a perfect song, 10/10. I don’t know what else to say because nothing I ever say will compare to the experience of actually watching it live. I love you, jin (no hetero)

The Truth Untold

v, jimin, jungkook, jin are the nation’s vocalists thank you for coming to my ted talk

I could barely hear tae at the start because of his mic, which was a shame :( Aside from that, everyone sounded really great. TTU is a song that can strain your voice if not done properly. There were definitely some concerts where some of them struggled to reach the high notes or the correct key. One thing’s for sure though - Jin has CONSISTENTLY been singing in perfect pitch and ALWAYS delivers a fantastic performance. Jin’s singing is so stable, it deserves more recognition. I love tae’s ad lib here and how he made everyone lose their marbles after.

Outro: Tear

HANDS DOWN, FAVE PERFORMANCE OF THE NIGHT!!!!! I walked out of the concert still thinking about tear, because it was THAT powerful. I’m glad glenn was beside me for this because she’s the only other tear enthusiast I know (TEAM SENN ✊🏼). BTS individually have amazing stage charisma, but put the three rappers together and you get AN UNDENIABLE FORCE. I’ll always stan rap line till the day I die. The three of them have such different rapping styles, yet nothing sounds out of place when they work together.

yoongi in headbands is so hot, no one fight me on this

Mic Drop

Second fave performance of the night! (okay I might be slightly biased, since it was right after tear) Even though this was nearing the end of the concert, I was actually way more energetic than I was at the start. It was like I was saving all my energy stores for this very moment. When joon mentioned it was their last song, I was like NOOOOOOOOO WAIT WHAT YOU CAN’T LEAVE YET. Then, I remembered that there was an encore segment and the world was all right again.

I see you stylists with the second white ensemble of the night, and I raise you one. Mic drop is the song that can get anyone hyped up anywhere. I feel like this is the song that you can play at clubs / festivals and it wont feel out of place. Fun story: the dj at dpr live’s show played mic drop and everyone was lowkey jamming to it (also shout out to all the armys there)

Please watch jhope’s fancam!!! I’ve always felt that mic drop is one of the few songs that allows him to really shine as a dancer. As a hip hop dancer, he doesn’t get many opportunities to showcase it because he has to ‘tone down’ for bts choreos. If you have the time, do check out all of his hopeonthestreet videos to really see dancer hoseok in his element!

mandatory iconic yoongi mic drop

Encore Stage (So What & Anpanman)

All of the cutest and funniest interactions took place right here!!! Before the concert, I was going back and forth between getting purple or yellow tickets but I definitely do NOT regret getting yellow tickets! The extended stage is where you can see their goofy selves come out to play.

joon + jimin’s cheeks: an untold love story

p.s. joon was casually applying lip balm before this moment, lol

me whenever minjoon minjoons

this is peak joon at his final form

jimin got to start anpanman this time!!

cosmo and wanda (I mean vmin) being the absolute cutest

chaotic duo taejin back at it again

vmon was being very very cute during anpanman & so what!! There were so many vmon moments throughout the concert, THANK YOU UNIVERSE for blessing me with the most underrated ship.

noteworthy moments during the encore stage:

-sope freaking looked at glenn and I, and we almost combusted right there. Both of them came over to our side at one point, and stepped down onto this black box platform just below (no wonder they felt so close). Almost everyone else were on their phones, so naturally they noticed us because we were the only two crazy bitches cheering by ourselves. I MADE EYE CONTACT AND THAT’S ALL THAT MATTERS. suga smiled so hard when he saw us going all out, and that’s when I knew: I was yoongi’s bitch for life. jhope was looking at us with a sort of approval *stands at attention* YES SIR ARMY REPORTING FOR DUTY

-jungkook came over to our side of the stage and was just in right front of me. I took this time to really look at his face (HAHA) because I felt like I didn’t see him enough during the concert. He was doing body rolls (looked a little something like this) and everyone around me was busy trying to get his attention. Upon closer ‘inspection’ of jungkook, I have concluded that he is a 5 year old trapped in a 20 year old ripped body. His body proportions are reeeealllyy crazily good - with his tiny waist and long legs (and veiny arms). I can see why people lose their mind over him, but he’ll always remain an adorable bunny to me.

-I got blessed by yoongi’s holy water during so what. I didn’t think I was gonna be close enough to get the water but I GUESS NOT! I’ve never been happier getting splashed with water in my life. I swear, yoongi was so cute bouncing around and just smiling the whole time (I can’t stop talking about yoongi, SO SUE ME)

this is what jungkook looks like in person, can you believe? Fansite pictures are always heavily edited (especially jungkook’s for some reason) so sometimes they can come across as quite ‘fake looking’ when you look at images. Lemme tell you, they look a thousand times better in person. The melanin, the glow, the messy hair, their natural skin - can we get a hallelujah

Final Ment

Their final ment before we parted ways :((( I do enjoy hearing them speak even if its in korean, because you get to listen to their thoughts and feelings. I also really appreciate their attempt in speaking english, because it shows that they care. They might have memorised what to say, but effort goes a long way!

- tae saying we are part of his story, memory and scenery 😭😭😭 who knew it would be a teaser for his song! that sly kid. give it a listen over here, you won’t regret it.

- jungkook saying that the fans at soundcheck (*raises hands* YES IT ME) cheered crazily good. yasss thank you kook for acknowledging us and trust me, you could have just ten armys and we’ll still cheer like 10,000 people!

yoongi was being so freaking cute and for what?? that little pout before he launched into his speech.... HERE TAKE MY HEART

the best part was yoongi correcting the translator (not good night, GREAT night) man’s fluent in english but never shows it off, I approve of this slytherin move. yoongi even mentioned that he thought there was a day 2 concert. live nation, what are you doing??? I was so looking forward to a day 2 concert too. Is minstradamus predicting a 2 day concert in Singapore in the future??  👀

jin is a sagittarius in every sense of the word. the way he waited for his close up before slowly removing his shades.....I’m honestly not surprised anymore. I’m too used to having so many sagittarius in my life LOL. he even attempted to speak singlish not once, but twice. I sincerely applaud the effort, though my greedy self wished every member tried too (I’m still waiting for jimin to say ‘ zuo mo ni jiang bad de’)

speaking of jimin, he sang promise!! for the first time!! live!! singapore was truly blessed :)))))

thank you God for spending a little more time on this fine specimen, jung hoseok. hoseok is fine, but with his forehead exposed? FINE FINE. *cue me singing I’m fine* everyone was chanting “J Hope! J Hope! J Hope!’ even before he spoke and he was like oooooh, me? while pointing at himself like pls hobi ITS ALL FOR YOU BBY.

yes, you have stolen my heart jung hoseok

I can’t believe this man even bothered to count the days and meals for his speech..... (I like how bts pretends music bank didnt exist LMAO) this man can honestly sell you a trash bag with how eloquent he is. english is his second/third language yet he can construct better sentences in english than I ever will. in Jeon Jungkook’s words “Kim Namjoon, you dangerous man”

Answer: Love Myself (aka THE END CRIES)

At last, the final song dawned upon us. This is it, the moment reality hits you. That we’re all gonna return to our sad little lives after the concert. I was expecting myself to cry, but I actually felt... at peace? Hearing them sing “I should love myself” also served as a final reminder that that is also the title of their world tour, and the key message to take away from the love yourself series. At the end of the day, bts are also 7 young men in their 20s struggling alongside the rest of us. They have their own battles to fight too, but at least we’re all in this together. BTS may be there to provide us with happiness and love, but we must never forget to look inward first. 💜

Welcome, first time experiencing singapore’s humidity?

Singapore air’s just that powerful huh

I got chills, they’re multiplying!

Ngl, Singapore really impressed me. Every member’s solo got the same deserving amount of screams and we even got seesaw’s part down! (yoongi was really happy huhu) I don’t think they nor us fans expected such an enthusiastic response, but I hope this lifted their spirits up. Touring non stop for months is no easy feat, and I hope our passion made them less weary for one night. I still feel extremely blessed that I got to see them so quickly after I became a full-fledged fan. Hope to see you boys real soon! 😁😁😁

p.s. I recommend reading glenn’s experience here, because it is MUCH more detailed and well articulated

p.p.s link to jimin fancams, link to j-hope fancams, link to rm tear fancam

To end off, here are some random/cute pics for your enjoyment ~

me shaking off all the sweat, filth and water out of my hair after the concert

grandpa over flowers

hello glenn, this is for you

LOOK at jungkook’s forearms.... he can literally kill us all

The cameraman was WHIPPED for tae that night, it kept focusing on tae for a good chunk of time (I can’t blame him/her, we were all in awe too)

Singapore is officially J-hope land now. Can he run for president next?

Thank you for giving me a night I will never forget 190119 will forever be etched in my memory 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

[andromeda---galaxy]

alive and safe and with me

They're sitting at their dining room table and Philip smiles over at Lukas, picking another piece of pepperoni off his slice of pizza. 

 "Why're you still wearing long sleeves?" Philip asks, narrowing his eyes. "It's hot in here."

 Lukas has had a sort of quiet contentment on his face since he got home late this afternoon and he just smiles, shaking his head.

 "How are you not hot?" Philip asks. "I'm hot."

 "Yeah you are," Lukas says, grinning at him.

 Philip laughs, shaking his head. "What's up with you? You meet some new cute guy at that group project thing? You getting ready to tell me you're leaving?"

 Lukas scoffs. "As if," he says. 

 Philip knows it's the most impossible thing, which is why it's so easy to joke about it. "So why are you acting like you're staring at something beautiful?"

 "Well, I am," Lukas says, gesturing towards him. He grins when Philip sits back in his seat, clicking his tongue. "Angel face, you walked into that one."

Philip hums to himself, taking another bite of his pizza. 

 "Can I tell you something I've never told you before?" Lukas asks, leaning forward and resting his elbows on the table. 

 Philip's interest is sufficiently piqued. "Yeah," he says slowly, trying to wrack his brain. He can't imagine something he doesn't know. They've delved into topics that he thought he'd never find out about Lukas, including almost everything he remembers about his mom.

 Lukas moves to sit in the chair right next to Philip and Philip gets a little scared, because he seems so serious. But then Lukas smiles. "Remember after everything happened, they were keeping us in the same hospital room? Because we wouldn't allow it any other way and Helen threw a fit to make it happen?"

 "Of course I remember," Philip says, though diving into the memory is a little difficult. That whole time is drowned in sorrow, in pain, despite his relationship with Lukas officially solidifying. 

 "Well, I know we both had a hard time sleeping," Lukas says, looking down at his hands. "Every time I closed my eyes I saw that asshole's face. I saw him knocking you out, saw him coming at me..." Philip nods and Lukas trails off a little bit, swallowing hard. "Well, I had this thing that I did, for a little while."

 "What was it?" Philip asks, trying to figure it out before Lukas says it. 

 "I'd, uh...watch your heartbeat," Lukas says. He flushes a little bit but his mouth tugs up at the corner. "It was only the first two days they were keeping track of it, but that whole first day I'd stare at the lines on the machine and it....it calmed me," he says.

 Philip stares at him, his own throat going tight.

 "And I know things were....were so bad, they were awful, and you were constantly on the edge of your seat and just...." He doesn't go any farther, only reaches out and takes Philip's hand, holding it against his knee. "That second night, I couldn't sleep. And do you remember what you asked me, before you drifted off?"

 Philip swallows, shifting a little closer towards him. "To, uh...to hold my hand." 

 Philip remembers. He'd found out about his mom the day before and Lukas's words barely touch what he was actually feeling. He felt like he was dying, felt like the whole world was crumbling underneath him, and he knew the doctors were legitimately worried he was going to have a heart attack, which was half the reason why they were monitoring his heart to begin with. His chest ached throughout the day and he could barely deal with her loss, couldn't function properly knowing she wasn't in the world anymore. The only thing that truly grounded him was Lukas's presence, Lukas's touch. Helen helped them push their beds a little closer on that second night, and before Philip tried to fall asleep he'd asked Lukas to hold his hand. Lukas hadn't hesitated before taking it. 

 He'd slept so much easier that night.

 "I remember," Philip says. 

 "I didn't sleep that night," Lukas says, and that's the first Philip has heard of this. "Every time I closed my eyes it just...well, it didn't work out. So I watched your heartbeat on the monitor. And it was so slow and calm, so much better than the day before. I was transfixed by it, I couldn't stop staring at it. I took a picture of it with my phone, I maneuvered around like an idiot because I didn't want to let go of your hand but I finally got it," he says, laughing a little bit, and Philip smiles. "It just made me feel....so good to see your heart beating like that. To know that it meant that you were alive. Alive and safe and with me."

 Philip's eyes are burning. "I love you, babe," he says, because it's all he's thinking, over and over.

 "Love you too," Lukas says, squeezing his hand. "I uh, barely remembered that until recently. It was the other day, when I was laying on top of you on the couch and you fell asleep during Brooklyn 99—"

 Philip snorts, shaking his head. "You're never gonna let me live that down."

 Lukas grins. "No, no," he says. "I zoned out after a bit because I was tired too. We need to rewatch those ones."

 "Yes," Philip says.

 "But I was, uh—listening to your heart," Lukas says, chewing on his lower lip. "And I remembered. And then I uh, had...an idea."

 Philip cocks his head. "An idea?" he asks.

 A wide grin spreads across Lukas's face and he lets go of Philip's hand. He slowly, but surely, pushes up the sleeve on his right arm. He turns his arm over and then Philip sees it. Right there on Lukas’s wrist. And Philip feels like he's been punched in the fucking gut.

 It's a heartbeat line, and Philip’s own name, tattooed onto Lukas's wrist. 

 "I didn't have any group project meeting," Lukas says, soft. "That's next Thursday. I, uh—went to that tattoo place in Williamsburg. Showed the guy the picture I took in the hospital of your heart monitor. So he could get the lines exactly right."

 Philip can hardly breathe.

 Lukas leans in, touching Philip's cheek with his other hand. "I'm so glad you're alive. You’re a miracle. Philip, you're...you're everything to me. The whole world. You're the most gorgeous fucking perfect thing I've ever known, inside and out. And every time I'm steps away from you I just wanna feel your heartbeat. It's the most soothing thing in the world to me. Knowing you're alive. Alive and safe and with me. So that's why I, uh....got this tattoo. Because you're amazing and my favorite and the all-time best thing that has and will ever happen to me." He blows out a breath and smiles, brushes his thumb across Philip's cheek. 

 Philip's heartbeat isn't as calm now as it is on the tattoo. A few tears fall and Philip reaches up, pressing a hand over his mouth. He muffles a laugh that comes out more like a sob, and he just. Cannot. Believe this. He can't find words and he's just staring down at his own name on Lukas's wrist and his fucking heartbeat line and he just can't think, can't think.

 Lukas presses his lips to Philip's cheek and it's the sweetest, sugary kiss Philip has ever experienced. "Do you like it?" Lukas asks. 

 Philip nods and he half sobs again, more tears tracking down his face. Lukas wipes them away and kisses his fingers. Philip pulls his hand away and kisses him on the mouth, climbing into his lap and barely thinking about whether the dining room chair can support their weight. Lukas yelps a little, surprised, but quickly recovers and wraps his arms around him.

 Philip kisses Lukas over and over and just can't deal with this. It's such a huge gesture and he never thought something like this could ever, ever happen for him. It means so much and he feels like he's gonna goddamn pass out.

 Lukas laughs, holding him around his waist. "I guess you like it?" he asks.

 "Yes," Philip says, his voice breaking. “I love it. I love it.” He keeps kissing him and they both hum into each other's mouths, clutching at each other, and Philip feels wild with love for him. Absolutely drowning in how fucking much he loves him, and his chest aches and his throat is closing under his emotion but God, Lukas Waldenbeck is the best thing, the most wonderful thing, the sweetest, most devoted, kindhearted human being on the planet.

 "You're so romantic," Philip gasps, kissing Lukas's lips, their tongues briefly darting out and sliding together. "So tender, so romantic—"

 "Only for you, baby," Lukas says, sucking on Philip's lower lip. "I love you so much. I love you so goddamn much."

 "I love you," Philip says, desperately. He shifts back a little bit, bracing his hands on Lukas's shoulders. "Lemme see it."

 Lukas laughs a little bit and Jesus Christ, everything seems amplified about him right now. His laugh is so sexy. His smile is so beautiful. He draws his right hand forward and holds it between them. 

 The tattoo is so nice. So well done. The font his name is written in is such a nice font. Philip just about wants to die when he looks at it. His name tattooed on Lukas's skin. His heartbeat tattooed there. Philip wants to scream and his eyes fill with tears again. 

 "God," he breathes, shaking his head. He takes Lukas’s hand in his own and brings it up to his mouth, pressing his lips to Lukas's wrist right where the tattoo is. He kisses it twice over, and feels Lukas's pulse speed up right there under his mouth. 

 "You're so fucking beautiful, Philip," Lukas breathes, watching him.

 Philip kisses him again. "I'm gonna get one too," he says, resolved to it. “A matching one for you, in the same place.”

 "It hurt a lot, babe," Lukas says. "I don't want you to deal with that."

 "Too bad," Philip says, kissing it one more time before straightening back up and looking him in the eye. "Just got to get an EKG done and then we're golden."

 "You sure?" Lukas asks, smiling at him.

 "Yeah," Philip says, touching his neck as Lukas wraps both arms around him again.

 "Guess we're gonna have a clinic date," Lukas says, laughing. 

 "Guess so," Philip says, leaning in to kiss him again. He kisses down his neck and buries his face there, hugging him close. "You're my favorite. You are the absolute best." 

 "I love you more than anything," Lukas whispers, rubbing Philip's back, and nothing soothes him more than Lukas's hands. "You know that, right?"

 "Babe, if someone erased my memory, that would be the only thing that would hold on," Philip says. Lukas laughs a little bit and holds him tighter. "I love you," Philip whispers. "I just...I just love you." He presses his fingers against Lukas's neck, feeling his pulse there. He smiles to himself, counting off the beats. 

#philkas #eyewitness #philip shea #lukas waldenbeck #my writing

[firebirdsdaughter]

Oh, yeah!...

... How could I forget!

I’ve got my tea... (well, not that tea, not yet)... Time to rewatch the Zi-O 22 raw for rambles!

In no order:

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I really don’t care, Kuro Woz.

In other news, Shiro Woz was actually weirdly tolerable this episode. I fully expect him to go back to being a manipulative bastard next week, though.

Oh god, I guess I have to get used to the guy, since we’re apparently keeping him. I still say bring back Woz.5. I loved him.

Even the suit actor is doing the head tilt.

I am now significantly more concerned about that shot in the opening of Sougo walking away from the other two...

When is Trinity coming out, again? The boys will have to be getting along by then...

Now, see, they’re alone, so Geiz is like ‘okay, I can admit to having feelings again.’

Well, I guess that question got answered by the end of the episode.

I think Junichiro wanted Sougo to deliver something, but Sougo got stuck in the mirror world (also some angel put the thing about Geiz freaking out when Sougo got pulled into the window on the TV Tropes Heartwarming page for Zi-O and I thank them so very, very much), so now he’s trying to get Geiz and Tsukuyomi to do it.

Geiz was gonna straight up henshin right in front of Junichiro if an enemy came out of the mirror, oh my god. XD

EVERYONE’S EXPRESSIONS IN THIS SCENE.

I just love how Geiz goes from ‘ready to fight it’ to ‘WTF?’ to ‘Oh yeah, he’s here’ to pretty much just checking out of the whole situation over the course of a minute or so.

Seriously, Gaku’s expressions in this scene were golden. Shirei’s, too.

I think that’s her name. I’m slowly learning their names but names are hard.

Geiz is like ‘you’re an idiot, fine, I’ll explain.’ I guess the reason is that their Rider Kicks have slightly different effects. I didn’t even think of that. Interesting.

Tsukuyomi is so frustrated by Geiz’s lack of self preservation and that is very valid of her.

Hm... Okay, so having given it some thought, I think part of Sougo’s muted reactions are that he’s one of those people who projects a cheery exterior all the time and bottles stuff up. So, like, when his ‘negative’ (so to speak--like sadness, pain, anger, all that stuff) emotions show even a little bit, it’s like the tip of the iceberg. Which isn’t healthy, but it’s a possible explanation. I still wish they had made him react even a little more at the end, but that’s just my opinion.

Geiz just freaking teleported to the door there.

Geiz feels bad bc he actually considered going through with Shiro Woz’s idea. And he probably feels bad about feeling bad about that, bc he’s a soldier, and soldiers are supposed to complete their mission no matter the cost.

I guess she’s looking at Sougo, but it feels like she’s looking right at me, and even though she’s pretty and I love her, that sort of thing always makes me uncomfortable. I can’t look real people in the eye, stop trying to make me look tv characters in the eye!

Aw! There’s something twistedly heartwarming about Mirror¡Sougo tormenting Sougo about his relationship w/ Geiz. Good drama.

Also, I remain alone on the casual SouGeiz raft and it is still funny. XD

Sou Okuno remains much too cute for me to be frightened of him in any capacity.

I really wanna know what that line said. Something about Geiz and Puma Zi-O, but I don’t know.

Well, Sougo just died. (by which I mean, he fell over)

WAGA KYUURANGERS.

Shiro Woz being suspiciously tolerable. I’m sure he’ll be back to his usual manipulative jackass self next ep.

Aw! Tsukuyomi is breaking out the Hawk Droid now!

I keep getting this incredibly in depth Chinese State Farm ad and it’s hilarious.

Shiro Woz is dead now, too.

Honestly, he’s on the right track.

Yes, he is technically Kamen Rider Ryuki. By which we mean, he was Kamen Rider Ryuki, but then time got totally rewritten so that he wasn’t. Twice!

Not that I think he enjoyed it that much the first time... At leats he met Ron, though. Man, this is making me want to go back and watch Ryuki proper.

Lessons for the Mirror World: Don’t talk to your Mirror Self, it’s a bad idea. Also something about accepting yourself.

He looks different w/ short hair and older, but every now and then, he turns his head or makes a particular face, and it’s like ‘yeah, that’s him, that’s the boy.’

Shiro Woz died again.

I’m just gonna start assuming that Rider and Sentai weapons magically go back to their pocket dimension as soon s they’re thrown offscreen (thinks of all those times in Ex-Aid where you could literally hear them hitting the ground somewhere).

WAGA KYUURANGERS.

And thar he go. Goddamnit, Geiz.

Kudos to Okuno for pulling off as truly adorable and hilarious confused Mirror¡Sougo face for this whole scene. He’s just like ‘wth, dude?’

See, this is part of why I think Sougo’s the ‘hide all my ‘negative’ emotions’ kinda person. Bc he’s like ‘I’m really scared’ but he’s never shown it. Which isn’t healthy, sweetie, please talk to someone. Who... Isn’t your Mirror World self.

If they do do ‘balance of light and dark’ thing for Zi-O, I really hope they do a thing about Geiz and Tsukuyomi being his sort of ‘main anchors’ for the ‘light’ part. If that makes any sense.

Me when someone falls over in Toku ‘Whelp, he’s dead.’ Me when someone actually dies in Toku ‘Nah, he’s fine.’

WAGA KYUURANGERS.

Man, though, I hope they don’t remember the entirety of the time reset. Bc he’d have to remember dying, and she’d have to remember him dying in her arms. And they’re EIGHTEEN.

Shiro Woz.exe has stopped working.

Also, in that overhead shot, you can totally see Another Ryuga standing next to the tree before he respawns. XD ^^

Or maybe that’s a crew member. Either way. ^^ XD

Still wish they coulda given him more of a reaction, but I can justify it. He prefers to keep things in, and he probably guessed what the situation would be when he got there and was mentally preparing the whole way. Still wish we coulda had a small ‘mentally prepared but not quite ready for the real thing’ moment. I guess he does seem a little perturbed, but... Nrgh.

Spent several minutes rewatching this part, partially for angst lover reasons, and partially bc I was trying to see if I could see Gaku still breathing even though he’s playing dead. I actually didn’t notice any moments, but maybe someone else did.

God, I hope he didn’t hold his breath that whole time. Though who knows. Maybe he has the breath holding skills of an olympic swimmer.

I accidentally paused on a shot of Kuro Woz while Shiro Woz was flying into the scene to grab him and it looked kinda hilarious.

Keisuke be like ‘Hello, my suit actor!’ ^^ Poor boy over here talking to himself.

So what is going to happen w/ these two? Will the Wozes fuse? Will there be a third, true Woz? Will he not be a manipulative jerk-face? The questions are numerous.

Also, what’s the history between him and Geiz? I care more about it bc of Geiz than bc of Woz.

But also... Woz Fight!

CUTE. Makes one remember all the hijinks that went on at the office.

See? That’s Sougo reacting to something. :/

Now the other two are worried though, bc that’s a Puma Zi-O power. God, please, please don’t break up the Zi-Ot3. I’m putting my faith in you, dude who wrote Ninninger! I mean, you gave us Kinji and the Igasakis! (crap, that was the family name, right?) Admittedly, slightly lower stakes, but I’m counting on yooooooooouuuuuuu! *continues howling off into the distance for no reason*

But Geiz is straight up like ‘it’s my fault,’ the poor baby. Like. He’s not even blaming Sougo. He seems to be saying that he caused Sougo to make that choice. Bc the online translator says something like ‘led him’ to that ‘path’? Then gain, the online image translator also like to periodically translates things as ‘it’s all about sex’ and for the life of it cannot decide on what ‘Ouma Zi-O’ translate as. My favourite remains ‘the ostrich.’

Tsukuyomi apparently makes a note that one isn’t supposed to ‘play with time or someone’s life’ and now I’m like... About... Two or three of Sougou’s ‘steps’ towards becoming Puma Zi-O were bc he was trying to save Geiz? What if... What if the reason he became Puma Zi-O was that breaking the ‘rules’ of time does mess w/ your head and he kept using to to try and save Geiz from himself, or something... Like, wasn’t there some other time travel thing about the universe really trying to kill someone and someone else trying to prevent it? Like, coming back to my ‘die to prevent Puma Zi-O’ thing. If it’s something like that... Like, what if it seems like in the end that most sure way to prevent Puma Zi-O w/out killing Sougo is just letting Geiz die? I mean. He’d accept it in a heartbeat, I’m pretty sure, but if it does come to that, I’d prefer they found a third miracle option.

Of course, she could actually be saying something else entirely and I just went off on an aimless tangent.

But Geiz’s face during this talk... Like, I definitely think he's upset bc at this point he doesn’t want to kill Sougo at all anymore, and he also now feels like he’s responsible for destroying the future on one hand and starting the process that turned adorable little Sougo into Puma Zi-O on the other. My poor baby.

Also Tsukuyomi is talking directly at me again, and it is still making me uncomfortable!

And now they both stand there and look kinda sad.

Where the hell are they, anyway? Why’d they come back out here?

Shut up Kuro Woz, I don’t care.

Also, hi Kikai! ^^

And now for a completely clashing goofy promo!

I am still nervous, and the tea and shirts are ready to go, but one of the preview images looked like the boys having a normal conversation, so I’m still hedging my bets. Do right by me, Ninninger man! Not that I have anything to offer if you don’t, but, you know....

Okay, maybe I’ll buy something.

That’s all folks! Virtual lemon meringue pie for anyone who read all that nonsense. Or whatever type of pie you like. If you don’t like pie, cookies or cake or anything is fine.

Still hoping for good friendship drama. Love the Zi-Ot3, suspicious of how tolerable Shiro Woz was this ep. Suppose I’ll have to get used to him, since we're apparently keeping him. Now instilled w/ a desire to rewatch Ryuki.

Tea and shirts remain on standby.

#Kamen Rider Zi-O #also I'm still just out here casual shipping SouGeiz by myself and it's hilarious #I'm having a great time #XD #anyway having rambled a lot out there i don't have much to say here #^^ #Zi-O Spoilers #Timey Wimey Rider #have I mentioned I love Geiz? #my precious tsundere son #(don't make them turn on each other Toei do the good drama that I love so!)

[ifishouldvanish]

Falling Forward (1/3)

Part 3 of I Must Be Warmer Now

Summary: Gold isn't sure what to call this thing between him and Lacey. But such things usually have a way of working themselves out. Rating: T Tags: fluff for these two, because they need it

[Read on AO3]

Mr Gold takes a deep breath and knocks on the door to suite 201. He's been dreading this moment all week. Collecting rent from Lacey for the first time since they started… seeing each other.

He's not sure what to call it exactly. They mostly visit each other's homes, have sex, then stay up until the wee hours of the morning venting to each other about work, their exes, or whatever the latest gossip from the Storybrooke rumour mill is. They don't exactly go out on dates or anything, at least not in town. She’s come over for dinner a few times and he’s driven out to Portland twice more to watch her open mic performances, but that's about it. They’re establishing somewhat of a routine, a safe framework in which this thing between them operates, and if he’s honest with himself, he doesn’t like it. But he doesn’t know how or if he even could explain it to her.

The deadbolt clicks and the door swings open, revealing Lacey in her tiny pajama bottoms and a cami, with yesterday's smudged eyeliner and her hair pulled up into her signature messy bun. She looks beautiful.

She leans against the doorframe, her eyes sweeping over his figure while a pleased little smirk tugs at her lips. “...Hey.”

Gold's heart is already racing and his mouth is bone dry. He tries to remember his line. It's that time of the month, Miss French. Does he call her Miss French? Or is that too formal? No, no. He's here to collect rent. Nothing more, nothing less. This is business. Miss French it is, he decides.

“...Hey." He says. Close enough.

Lacey sucks her teeth. “You uh, wanna come in… or something?”

No. No, no, no. Collect rent. Leave.

“I-If you wouldn't mind,” he says with a light chuckle instead, smiling like an idiot despite himself.

She spins around and struts back into the apartment without a word, and Gold berates himself for standing frozen in place, his eyes focused on her perfect little bottom until she reaches the kitchen counter. He finally shakes it off and follows after her, feeling a blush rise to his cheeks when he closes the door behind him. He can’t wait to get this over with, yet at the same time, he doesn’t want to leave.

She rummages through a stack of papers for a moment before pulling out a worn envelope with the word RENT scrawled across it in permanent marker. She plucks the wad of cash out and counts it quietly to herself before offering it to him. “Here you go.”

There’s a panicked feeling in Gold’s chest as he accepts it from her, but once he tucks it into his breast pocket, he can feel his soul beginning to return to his body.

“Thank you.” He nods, exhaling slowly. “Miss French.”

The smile on her face falters at that. “Yeah.” She mumbles, her eyes sweeping toward the door. “No problem.”

Well, that can't be right. He can feel the giddiness that was blooming in his chest a moment ago shriveling up and wilting into shame. He's definitely fucked something up.

Gold’s mind races for the words he needs to undo whatever it is he's just done, but before he can find them, she shifts on her feet and looks back him again, this time with a rigidness to her features. Her eyes seem to look through him, or into him, and his heart starts to pound in his chest.

“So.” She folds her arms over her chest and leans back against the counter.. “What's up?”

“Oh— nothing.” He says a little too quickly. God, he's starting to sweat. “You?”

“Same old.” She shrugs. “You um, gonna be done making rounds soon?”

He stops himself before an automatic yes can jump from his tongue. “Should be done come five.”

“Hm.” She says with another shrug. A silence stretches between them for a moment and she sucks her teeth. “You know... you could uh, come by later. If you want.”

“Right.” He coughs.

“I uh… I was just gonna order takeout and binge rewatch the X-Files or something.” She adds with forced nonchalance.

“I'll ah, consider it.”

“You um—” The hard-edged expression fades from her features, giving way to the soft, tender one typically reserved for their post-coital chit-chats. “You doing okay?” She asks, taking a half-step closer and resting a hand on his shoulder. She gives him a slight squeeze but quickly pulls away, wrapping her arms around herself again.

“Aye, fine.” He coughs, squeezing the handle of his cane. “Just... came by for the rent, ye know?”

She pouts at him and sighs. “Yeah.”

“So, I guess I'll ah... be on my way then.” He tells the floor.

“I guess so.”

He looks back up, ready to flash her a parting smile— but she looks so disappointed again and he can't bring himself to leave because he's clearly doing something wrong. He just can't stand to leave her like this, in less cheerful a state than he found her in.

God dammit. Why is he so terrible at this? She's trying to make plans with you, you dolt.

He tentatively reaches his free hand out for one of hers, but they're still crossed over her chest, and so it just hovers awkwardly in the air instead. He settles for gently grasping her arm at the elbow, rubbing his thumb over it in a manner he hopes— yet doubts— is comforting.

“I'll…” He pulls back and gives her a weak smile that she returns, much to his relief. “I'll come by around six?”

Her smile widens into something more genuine. “Six sounds good.”

“Good.” He nods. “I'll ah, see you then.” He hesitates for a second, then swallows. “...Sweetheart.”

Lacey takes her bottom lip between her teeth, biting back the grin that so badly wants to bloom across her face. With the weight of his uncertainty lifted from his shoulders, Gold feels like he's floating.

The playful gleam finally returns to her blue eyes and she wets her lips. “Sounds good, baby.”

Gold knows he’s blushing. He doesn't have much time to feel embarrassed for himself though, before she throws her arms around his shoulders and presses her lips to his. It catches him off guard, and he lets out a surprised little grunt before he reciprocates and slides his arm around her waist.

Baby.

He never really liked it when Milah would call him that. But from Lacey, it just feels right.

Mr Gold collected rent from the rest of the tenants in Lacey's building with a dopey smile planted firmly on his face, earning himself curious stares from each and every one of them. Unit 302 was short $200 and he just told them not to worry about it. As he walks back out to the car, he tells himself it’s only because he doesn't have time to explain the particular details of their rental agreement right now, and not because his little exchange with Lacey just has him in that good of a mood and what's he going to do with another $200 anyway?

But who is he kidding? His mind has been playing the sound of her voice calling him baby over and over like a broken record, and it makes his chest tingle with anticipation every time. He’s not a big fan of takeout and he doesn’t know what an X-File is, but he can hardly wait until the end of the day so can enjoy them both with her. As soon as he finishes up on 3rd Avenue, he turns onto Main Street and makes a beeline for the florist.

The bell hanging above the front door of Game of Thorns clangs annoyingly as he steps inside, but it’s not enough to sour his mood. Not by a longshot. He’s a man on a mission this afternoon— buying flowers for his sweetheart— and if that means having to deal with Moe French’s poor taste in doorbells, then so be it. He hears the advancing of dragging footsteps and the man emerges from the back room, his friendly service smile slipping from his face when he recognizes his latest visitor.

“Gold? You already got your money this morning,” he groans. “Every cent! Count it again!”

“Lovely to see you again as well, Mr French.” He says with a forced, polite smile as he approaches the counter. “But no, no… I'm not here for your money.” Surely he can manage to put aside his general distaste for this man for a few minutes. For Lacey. He glances around the shop for a moment, then rests his hands on his cane and looks Moe in the eyes. “I'd like a dozen of your finest roses.” He says calmly. “Salmon or light pink, preferably.”

Moe just stares ahead blankly, and he isn't sure if he heard him. Or believes him. Or was paying attention. If there was ever a light behind the eyes of Moe French, Gold thinks, it must have gone out long ago.

“No.” He finally says.

Gold blinks. “...Excuse me?”

“I said no.”

Gold frowns. “Mr French.” He wets his lips and leans over the counter slightly. “A bit of free advice from one proprietor to another: turning away customers— not the best business strategy.”

“I don't care if it's bad for business.” The man bellows. “I'm not selling you a single rose from this shop.”

Gold lets out a little chuckle and glances around the shop again— an irritated, predatory grin spreading across his face. The nerve of this man. “Mr French—”

“What does a bastard like you want with my Lacey?”

“You mean it isn't obvious?” Gold scoffs. “After all, you are her father.”

Moe’s face reddens and he looks like he might explode.

“Lacey is an incredibly resilient young woman with a kind heart, vivacious spirit, and  illuminating perspective on life.” Gold explains, taking mercy on him. “I think the better question, Mr French, is why someone like her would want anything to do with me.”

Moe scowls at him a moment longer and huffs, his shoulders slouching in defeat. “She doesn't like roses anymore.” He grunts.

That wipes the smug grin right off of Gold's face. He hadn't even considered well… that. He feels like an idiot. Every time he'd hurt me, there'd be flowers the next morning.

“Not since—”

“No.” Gold sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. “No, of course not.” Whoever Lacey's ex-fiancé is, the bastard's lucky she hasn't uttered his name once to him. He'd hop the first flight to New York and give him a piece of his mind. Or his cane.

For the best, Gold tells himself as he takes a deep breath. Assault and battery— still a very bad idea.

Moe looks down the floor hesitantly and sighs. “...Stargazer lilies are her favorite.”

Gold tilts his head at him. He'll take back every foul thought he's ever had about the man if helps him choose the perfect flowers for Lacey. “Stargazer lilies? How— how might those look with carnation, or hydrangea?”

Moe nods slowly. “I can make it work.”

Gold arches a brow. “It's short notice. I'd like them for tonight.”

“I’m willing to move things around a bit for my daughter.” Moe says firmly, standing tall with fatherly pride. “I can have something ready by five.”

“That would be... perfect, Mr French.”

“I don't know what in God's name she sees in you, Gold.” Moe says. “But whatever she sees, she... likes it.” He admits reluctantly.

Gold knits his brows together. Did Moe just give him his… blessing?

“...Thank you.” He says in a whisper, beginning to head back toward the door. He stops halfway and looks back at Moe. “Mr French, I— the last thing I want is to hurt—”

“I know.” He grumbles. “Now go on. Get out of my shop, Gold.”

*****

Lacey takes a deep breath and a quick look in the mirror when she hears the knock at the door. It has to be him.

She's suddenly regretting having changed into a proper outfit. She even put on lipstick and reapplied her day-old eyeliner. Was it too much? Was she trying too hard? Lacey French doesn't dress up for anyone but herself— right?

Calm down, she urges herself. She takes so much pride in not worrying about what people think, but when it comes to Gold, that philosophy goes flying out the window. She just likes him so much and she wants him to like her too. He has to like her by now, doesn't he?

He knocks again and she shakes it off. It’s too late now. Just fucking do it, darling.

She opens the door and Gold looks more nervous now than he did three hours ago. He's wearing the same suit but he somehow looks even cuter than before. It's probably the bouquet of— whoa.

“For you, sweetheart.” He says with a timid smile on his face as he offers the flowers to her.

“You—” She wets her lips and stares at the floral arrangement, her heart fluttering in her chest and nervous energy boiling in her gut. “You got me flowers?” She asks, immediately cringing at how cold her voice sounds.

A panicked look fills his eyes and her mouth gapes open with worry. She can't find any words but she's slowly beginning to realize there isn't a single rose in the arrangement. Instead, it's a stunning bouquet of stargazer lilies. God dammit Lacey, thank you— you say thank you.

“It... It seemed the proper th-thing to do?” He explains weakly. “I'm sorry, I shouldn't have—”

“No!” She blurts. “No, no!” She looks at the bouquet again and smiles. “No, I just mean— it's… really nice of you.” Her words seem to do little to console him though, and God, why does he put up with her? Stammering, she rushes to accept them from him. “I'm sorry. I'm not used to— I don't know.”

Not used to anybody thinking I'm worth buying flowers for.

“I know you said—” Gold cuts himself off and shakes his head. “Your father told me they were your favorite?”

“They are.” She assures him with her best smile. “They’re uh, they're beautiful. Thank you.” She just stares at him for the longest time because Christ. He didn't just buy her flowers— he went through her father to buy her flowers. That couldn’t have been pleasant. “I love them.”

She takes a moment to admire the arrangement properly. Flowers. He got you flowers. She suddenly realizes he's still standing in her doorway and shakes her head.

“Shit, I'm sorry,” she blurts. “Come in.”

He takes no more than two steps inside before stopping and looking at her apprehensively, fumbling with his hands. She doesn't know what to do but then she feels him place a gentle hand on her arm. He leans in slowly and presses a chaste kiss to her cheek.

“You look beautiful.” He says, the apples of his cheeks rounded by a timid smile.

Oh, fuck this.

Lacey adjusts her grip on the flowers and clasps her free hand on his shoulder, pulling him in hard for a kiss— A real one, on the lips with a bit of tongue, because this is getting ridiculous. And also because every time she kisses him like this, she notices the look of complete, utter surprise on his face and it's kind of adorable. His arm slowly wraps around her waist and he kisses her back. The flowers rustle between them as their hands wander over each other and they deepen the kiss. He follows her touch as she pulls away and smiles when they finally part.

“Thank you, baby.” She says with a finishing peck on his cheek. “Let me find something to put these in.”

For once, Lacey's glad she works at a florist because she intends to make her flowers from Mr Gold last as long as possible.

#rumbelle fic #golden lace