#i just want it to stop

[lonely-girl-1612]

Why is this shit always happening it’s the second person today I can’t more

#sex bots #why are they here #I just want it to stop

[neptunes-saddest-alien]

I am so fucking tired. I'm tired of everything. I'm tired of trying to do everything . I'm tired of waking up. I'm tired of fighting with myself to keep going. I'm tired of feeling nothing I’m tired of the pain.I’m tired of myself . I’m just so tired

#tired #exhausted #deppressed #numb #mentally tired #lonliness #pathetic #sad thoughts #deppresing thoughts #passively suicidal #suicidal ideation #suicidal #alone #pain #hurt #tired of living #i'm so fucking tired #i want to die #i’m so exhausted #i just want it to stop

[awetistic-things]

took me a while to figure this out for myself, but my daydreaming isn’t a way to cope with my trauma, it’s just a prison to keep me from dealing with it

#it won’t stop #it won’t leave me alone #i can’t fucking breathe without them breathing too #i just want it to stop #but i’m nothing without it #daydreaming for the past 4 years is the reason i’m still alive #but now that i’m in a space where i’m happy #it’s awful #i just want to live but the connection i first created to feel safe is not making me feel fucking crazy #madd #maldaptive daydreaming disorder #maladaptive daydreaming #madd problems #daydreaming #actually maladaptive #maladaptive behaviors #maladaptive coping #maladaptive problems

[silentalltheseyearsnomore]

I don't really want to tag this as I feel like I don't trust a whole lot of what is on this little app but a few follow me who I feel are authentic and relate to me so maybe I'll get lucky and you'll relate or have any idea wtaf happens with us lol

I am too exhausted to explain properly but... we have this thing where we get stuck writing. non stop. through an entire day, entire night, not allowed to stop for water or food or rest. only ever to our therapist of the time.

usually, in the past, it was always triggered by "confessing" (every single reason we are evil, that DID doesnt exist, that our history never happened.. every single thought we have.. etc, it was terrifying, we couldnt even stop to reach a hand out.) and we did a lot of work with our longterm therapist back then to understand what parts were at play, that it seemed very linked to some programming, but we never untangled it all. we saw the similarities of not being allowed water, not being allowed food, going insane, the feeling of spinning in circles, losing all realities, confessing, insanity.. etc... and it was always like breaking a spell. The second we managed to stop it, we saw it all clearly and couldn't understand how we were under such a spell. But trying to stop it felt like death. Because to stop it we had to believe it was a program and STOP. And believing, meant being even more evil, because it's not real. But once we did...we were okay. It was fucking terrifying.

But today we had similar in a different way. It wasn't about confessing but more.... trying to get every reality from every part on paper or not being allowed to send to our therapist. It would be a lie. And spinning in circles trying to explain and add another reality and another and another. And we thought eh this is just the product of a lot of fear, and a lot of parts all at once. But.... again we ended up a few seconds away from being unconscious from a faint from not drinking or eating, in the dark in a carpark after not stopping all day.

We also think we identified old sabotaging programs a past therapist noticed activate in us very often during therapy. But I just..

It's so hard to believe any of it is true.

Is this... does this sound at all not insane to someone?

#we are in a permanent state of denial lately due to ending therapy and not havkng enough support so #we can barely say parts we have to say realities #we cant say ra we have to say the extreme stuff #we have to say “if its real” in front of everything #i feel like i am in endless realities soinning around and dont know what is real #i just want it to stop #but dont beliebe its real enouhh to make it stop

[exlibrisfangirl]

Me, who has been in constant, debilitating pain for months: Can I have a break? Please?

My absolute trash-fire of a body: lol nOPE

Me, exhaused and weary of living in survival mode for so long: Okay then... how about... one good sleep? Just one?

My body: Sorry, buddy. Can't do that either.

Me: ...

My body: ...

Me: ...

Me: Fine. Maybe I will just... die

My body: *kill bill sirens* NOT ALLOWED

#chronic pain #chronic fatigue #chronic illness #chronically ill #spoonie problems #spoonie life #i'm so fcking exhausted y'all #i just want it to stop #please for the love of all that is holy #about mel #personal post #okay to reblog #* months equals years actually... but i'm talking about a specific new pain here lol

[wildernessuntothemselves]

Hi mort.. My deepest condolences to your family.

I just want to genuinely ask how are you these days? I'm glad to see that you're safe, and trying to move forward but, please take all the time you need to heal and recover and don't push yourself too much.

From the bottom of my heart I hope everything gets better for you.

some moments are worse than others. i get hit by these moments of realization of just what we've lost and my heart aches for the survivors in gaza if you can call them that. they may not survive for long and that scares me but we try to talk to them every day.

i am not pushing myself. i just want to feel like i'm doing something. when i have the strength i do it and when i don't i don't push myself. but thank you anyway.

#i just want it to stop #enough death #mort talks

[blurryreality]

Guyzzzz guezzz whattttt

The ed thoughts are backkkkkkk yeyyyyyy

#will it ever end #being rlly skinny feels like the only solution to my problems #cuz my crush will probable only like me if I'm skinny #since he lives in a country where people are smaller than where I live #god this sucks #i just want it to stop #anyway #sorry for making yall feel bad or whatever but sometimes i need to rant #personal

[carry-on-my-wayward-butt]

had to quit my job that I really liked because being in blistering fucking pain all day every day makes it hard to want to stay alive which means I can’t do my job and being medicated enough to function means I’m at probably half the cognitive power of the average dog so I can’t do my job

#op #please I’m so fucking tired of being helpless and useless at the same time #I just want it to stop #I just want to be human again

[relatablebutforgetable]

I hope when I die it’s soon

This life feels nothing but a repeat

A repeat of all the pain I’ve endured

It keeps coming back

Same feeling

But different faces

I just want it all to stop

But it doesn’t

It just doesn’t

#liturature #poetry #mental health #poets on tumblr #tw depressing stuff #author #sad thoughts #sadgirl #sad poem #sad poetry #i'm sad #sadnees #i just want it to stop

[mirasventhole2536]

I HATE HAVING ANGER ISSUES I HATE THAT I CAN'T FIX IT I HATE HOW NO ONE CAN UNDERSTAND ME I HATE TAKING MY ANGER ON TO PPL I JUST WANT TO BE CALM AND NORMAL FOR ONCE

#vent #vent blog #i just want it to stop #im stressed #i am sorry #anger issues #anger problems #anger #i feel like shit #i want to be normal #i want to be calm

[neptunes-saddest-alien]

I’m about one more she/her away from being was/were

#i just want it to stop #I’m so fuckin sick of it #tired #exhausted #shark week dysphoria #nonbinary dysphoria #dysphoria #nonbinary #deppressed #numb #mentally tired #passively suicidal #suicidal ideation

[aloof-isayla]

ahahah love getting stuck thinking about fantasizing about coping in unhealthy ways 😃

#Fuck #I can't get this shit outta my head #i just want it to stop #gay #spilled thoughts #lgbtq #trans #trans ftm #help #vent #i just want it to be over #Why can't I just be cis #Why do I have to have these problems with my body #I shouldn't hate it like this #I try so hard to be healthy to make good choices for my body #But I also just want to sabotage it sometimes #Tw bad coping mechanisms #I'm not sure what to put as a tw I hope I don't ruin someone else's day #tw bad thoughts #Fuck I thought I was getting better #I really did #Tw vent #vent post

[all-that-glitters-is-goldfish]

the nerve pain is so bad in my head today that im biting my fingers hard to try and make a new pain to distract 😭😭😭

#tw self harm #kind of #I just want it to stop

[whitecatindisguise]

Pornbots, please stop appearing in my inbox and sending me messages with links I have no desire to click on.

Sincerely,

Myself

#seriously stop #it's like some plague at this point #im getting one or two DAILY #i just want it to stop

[lucyvaleheart]

.

#delete later #hey haven't made a vent post in a while that's gotta be a good thing right #I dunno. got an appt in like a month and hopefully that'll fix me but until then...... #...sigh. tw for heavy shit for the rest of this don't read on unless you can manage with that kinda thing #is it like. nights? does my brain just shut down any level of dopamine response at night? is that it? #cuz fuck I spiral so fast. not 5 hours ago I was on cloud 9 cuddling a cute girl I may or may not have a- #anyway #now it's midnight. #and I just kind of want to carve my self awareness out of my body like a cancerous growth #and never be aware again #loneliness and jealousy and despair and self hatred and my god I can't really think of anything negative I *don't* feel #i just want it to stop #i wanna stop hurting every time I see them being so intimate with someone else I've already been rejected I need to get the fuck over mysel #ugh #I...... #i usually try to keep these vague cuz I know people follow me and despite my best efforts do tend to read these #part of me wants that? that cry for help I guess? some way to reach out without having to be vulnerable #on the other hand I don't want to guilt anyone or to make anyone feel bad for being happy cuz that's toxic as fuck #I.... I don't fuckin know I'm just kind of rambling now. #....I'll be fine eventually #maybe #god I can't even say that for certain anymore huh #what do i even do why can't i see the solution anymore #all that's there is 'stop feeling x emotion' and thats just not a reasonable thing to expect myself to be capable of #you can't just turn off your emotions as much as I wish I could #.......want to be held close and touched a lot and told it'll be ok and complimented and. wanted #want to be wanted. #.....sigh #.......i am wanted. I know I am. I know so many people want my attention that it's nearly impossible to keep up #so what the fuck is my deal why do I still want it so bad? what isn't clicking? why doesn't it fucking work

[traumabuddies]

okay seriously how are you guys doing all the adulting. like is anyone else always anxious to go to work and mildly depressed no matter what the job is or is it just me. like is this ever gonna stop or am i doomed to live like this forever

#lowkey a genuine question #i hate being like this and it never stops and at some point it's like. i'm not 18 anymore i've been working on and off for years #i just want it to stop #lex says things