#i just want life to be normal again

[lotus-pear]

"feels like we could go on for forever this way.." (x)

#wooo new header for me <33 #also back to skk posting i missed them sm #wanted to pratice some scenery and try a new style which simplifies my current one and focuses more on colors and painting #and i'm super happy with how it turned out i think i won #for forever fits skk so well it rly brings back the bittersweet memories of when they were once partners and each others halves #and it just feels reminiscent of days gone by and they were once so close but time and life their own decisions have torn them apart #ben platt's voice is so pretty i love this song sm i heard it for the first time again in years and was slammed by all the emotions😭😭 #i was so normal abt deh when it first came out i swear #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #bsd #dazai osamu #osamu dazai #nakahara chuuya #chuuya nakahara #soukoku #skk #lotus draws

[todayisafridaynight]

x

#rgg #ryu ga gotoku #ryu ga gotoku 7 #yakuza series #yakuza like a dragon #yakuza 7 #ichiban kasuga #ryo aoki #masato arakawa #snap sketches #beat y7 for the first time in Ever last night with kayla so i was legally required to draw something #also i wouldve just rb'd the og post but it had less than 100 notes and i didnt want op seeing me be cringe so early in that posts life #theyre brothers your honor this is simply shit ichi would do every day had it not been for The Horrors #ok bye i should eat #steadily trying to post art again cause my comm list is FINALLY looking vaguely normal so i dont have much left to do #ill probably shotgun a good chunk of them tomorrow even tho tomorrows suppoed to be a rest day but lol #ok bye bye

[mxmarsbars]

“I keep tallies, I keep score

I’m a petty thing on a high, high horse.”

-

more impulsive clock duo art everybody say “thank you mxmarsbars”

anyways this is THEIR song and their song ONLY literally argue with the wall (that is a joke to each their own) but I WILL write a personal essay to anybody about it and how it fits them so so so well like it’s concerning /j

see if you can find all the lil details :3 (they’re nothing crazy just little things)

(also this was so unprompted and impulsive so I’ll probs redraw it again at some point with loads more planning and better poses and stuff I’m sorry if this disappoints anyone because it’s disappointing me kinda but I spent way too long on it just for it to never see the light of day)

#I am so normal about them #I am lying #I need to be killed with hammers #who wants to bet they kill each other again somehow next seaosn /j #anyways I love them so much #live laugh love clock duo #clock duo #clock duo fanart #impulsesv #impulsesv fanart #bdoubleo100 #bdoubleo100 fanart #3rd life fanart #last life fanart #double life fanart #limited life fanart #could also be secret life #but technically not #life series #life series smp #life series fanart #it’s bits and pieces from everything #impdubs #for tagging purposes #again not necessarily shippy it’s just the usual clock duo-ness #trafficblr

[unexpectedbrickattack]

get normaled, idiot

#pizza tower #peppino #arts #mine #anyway.... #i cannot for the life of me get it right #i need a ref or something #i have like SUCH a clear image of what i want him to look like and trying to imitate it just makes him look uncanny #like he needs droopier eyes and bigger eyes #and ive seen people who look EXACTLY like the ref i would love to have #ah well #i did get his mouth pretty close to what i wanted :) #other things; he has like a SMALL amount of accessories like necklaces n stuff. i think he is very Particular about his appearance #the balding doesnt bother him AT ALL so its not messed w in anyway #the most hell do is brush it down so its not in the way #and hes got hats for if he simply does not want it to get unruly in the wind #i was stuck deciding between a Normal earring and a stud but i think stud looks a bit better heehee hes got quite a bit of piercings #but hes stopped using them YEARS ago. they havent closed up so like. theoretically he Could use them again. but hes fine w leaving them be #also he is like obv a mess when hes in the back working the oven n stoves so hes sweaty and kinda gross if hes been in there TOO LONG #(and he is SO conscious about this; he gets a better ac unit postgame when he gets more funds) #but otherwise if hes going out somewhere he has like spicy smellin colognes. like the shit that makes ur head hurt when u smell it sdfkjdfj #meanwhile gus does not give a flying fuck #hes got 14-in-1 body wash and a prayer #you get what u get #which is admirable tbh #i just think it is funny for him to be particular about this. gus we are best buds but you are not coming out w me looking like this. #or the noise smells AWFUL bc he is covered in grease and sweat from tinkerin in his room all day #and peppino looks SO upset hes like get AWAY from me u smell like ACTUAL garbage !!!!!!!!!!!!! go get CLEAN you fucking BEAST

[ilovefredjones]

the frozen ii ending makes me soooooo angry like the whole POINT of frozen i was that elsa learned that she could rule arendelle with her powers and with anna by her side!!! literally in the bway musical she sings ‘i know i’ll never see that sunny day / when this trial is finally through / and it can just be me and you’ like. elsa WANTS to stay with anna

and they try and explain this somewhat in into the unknown, with the ‘who knows deep down i’m not where i’m meant to be’ but. WHY isn’t she where she’s meant to be. all of the first film was her learning that she belonged in arendelle and her powers/herself wasn’t something to be afraid of. why isn’t she meant to be with her family? with her sister who’s been desperate to reconnect with her? why doesn’t she belong where people readily love her and accept her and want the best for her?

and then, what about anna? there is no mention of her wanting/being ready to be queen in either two films. we don’t even see the offer on screen; we don’t get the sisters’ quiet, vulnerable conversation where elsa admits to wanting to live with the rest of the nature spirits and anna offers to take her place as queen. we don’t see anna begging elsa to stay in the forest because she can rule if elsa’s happier there. we never see their dialogue. it’s just so sudden. is anna once again just going along with what her sister wants? is elsa isolating herself all over again? we just don’t know. they both seem happy, but there’s barely any indication that it’ll lead up to that point.

it just makes no sense for either of their arcs, or their previous wants/needs. if they were meant to stay together, why separate them again? they just got each other back. and now they’re alone again.

#and yeah yeah neither of them are alone bc of kristoff/the other nature spirits etc etc but COME ONNNNNNN. #anna did not spend most of her life desperate to spend time with her sister just for elsa to fuck off to the mountains again! what was the+ #point of the first film! #like when did anna show ANY indication of being ok with being QUEEN???? does she even WANT to be??? #and yes elsa is now surrounded by people like her but. gah. idk it just feels so redundant #like why is that the only place she really belongs? #and i know they’re her people so ofc she wants to be with them bc she found where she belongs!! #i just think they could’ve balanced it a bit more so it’s not so out of nowhere #why didn’t we get to see anna and elsa talk it out???? sing a little duet????? #they don’t even HAVE a duet in this film what the hell #grrrr #anyway. normal i’m so normal about frozen #frozen #frozen ii #elsa of arendelle #anna of arendelle

[icewindandboringhorror]

Just curious what the average level of personal investment in these sorts of things is. Like, how much do people usually get into silly stuff like this their friends ask of them? etc. etc. Which I know, only surveying a small sample on a very specific website means I'm not getting an exact average idea lol, but.. curious nonetheless .. Maybe reblog for bigger sample size but also this is not very serious at all/not worth a call to action gbhjbhjb

#which I know this could be context dependent like.. maybe you'd normally dress up but on a week that #you feel sick you wouldn't or etc. etc. - but I mean.. GENERALLY. in the most general average scenario #where you have the average amount of health and free time that you always do. etc. just based on your personality #and level of investment in these things - what on AVERAGE are you most inclined to do #also of course assume they communicate with you ahead of time and are not like planning a part last minute #like 'throw together costume in 5 hours and show up tonight randomly' or etc. I would hope that if we're going with the #AVERAGE of things - most people's friends have better communication skills than springing entire parties #on people last minute lol #assume you have like.. a few days-a week or so to prepare. however ealrly people usually start talking about #birthdays. In my experience it's usually one or two weeks ahead of time. Like 'oh next weekend' or 'oh two weeks from now' etc. #ANYWAY.. feeling a little Sick again of course but still trying to get some photos or something posted #AGAIN i promise I am not going to exlcusively post polls and ntohing else forever hgkjgnekj #I just really really love the ability to post polls and have always my whole life been obsessed with surveying people #I used to think I wanted to do that as a career somehow like.. be one of the people that does psychological interviews #or produce interview asessments for a company or etc. etc. I am always the one friend in the group thats giving out custom made #surveys or asking for other simialr stuff (did you ever take an mbti quiz? how about enneagra #m?? oh yeah I know they're not really scientifically valid or antyhing but like... DID you take them?? huh?? did you??please?? ghjj) #I simply cannot resist.. posting a little poll every once in a while.. as a treat #whilst I still fall behind on like actual content and costumes and stuff gbjhbjh #New poll adventure should be not as much of a wait as the last one was though since I already have the writing #for it really. I just have to do the ms paint sketch. hopefully no unexpected other health issues will get in the way #*** *** *** #< (anytime I do these three star patterns it is an ocd compulsion not me bleeping out words or something just ignore it lol) #(it means something secret in my evil brain just pretend you do not see it. significant only to me) #BUT YEAH.. ... poll... what type of costume party atendee are you? #:0c

[lightningidle]

Fig's line "I don't think I'm an artist, I think I'm just a good friend" has not left my head at all. Just...

You're Fig Faeth and your horns came in over the summer and you pick up the bard class as a form of adolescent rock 'n' roll rebellion, and it works! It's exactly the outlet you need! You give a guy you just met drumsticks and you start a band and it's good enough that within a year and a half you're touring. You are, in every sense, good at being a bard.

And then, finally, your junior year, you start to take it seriously. Your art goes from an outlet and a form of rebellion to a practice. A discipline. (Can rebellion exist within a discipline?) Your classmates know what they want to do with their work. They all have a thesis statement. And yeah, there's cohesion in the music you make, but you've never had to think about why you make it. You've never sat down and dissected what it is about bass that speaks to you. You've never poured over your lyrics to pick at any deeper meaning. Why should you? You don't play music for a grand design, you do it to... huh, why do you do it?

(Your art is the one form of self-expression that feels as safe as Disguise Self does, because even if you're pouring your heart onto the page and then screaming it in front of thousands of people, it's not like you're really making yourself known. You can sing I'm lonely, I'm scared, I'm furious, and your fans will sing it right back, and there will still be the distance between performer and audience to keep your heart safe.)

Now you're being asked to look inward to explain the artistic choices you're making, and you can't help but recoil at that, because you'd rather do anything than look inward. Meanwhile, your classmates have no problem with it, so you start to wonder if you're a real artist at all. Can your art be authentic if it only exists to bolster a thesis statement? Has your art been unauthentic this whole time because you've never really thought about a thesis statement before? Is that what makes it art, and not just the next track on somebody's teen angst playlist?

You can't think about yourself— acknowledging your own existence makes you want to puke. So if your music is an extension of yourself, (and it is, even if it's just because the spotlight reveals only what you want it to,) you can't think about your music. You can't. You have to. Your grade depends on it.

You're Fig Faeth, and you keep multiclassing because you'd rather be a good friend than a great artist. If introspection is what great art demands, then fuck it. You must not be a bard at all.

#Dimension 20 #fig faeth #fhjy #Idle Chatter #my last two years of college were when I started to get more and more nauseous about my own art #because I wasn't being taught how to make the art I wanted to make #the whole curriculum's focus was on gallery art #which infuriated me! I wanted to make art that didn't have to involve twelve layers of meaning and metaphor to be considered good!! #so I drove myself into the ground time and again trying to make (miserable) work that I thought would fit the criteria of a Real Artist #anyway it's been 4 years and I'm just now picking at why I don't enjoy creating anymore so Fig's whole arc has hit home in a major way #ALSO. AAAAALSO. THE ADHD STRUGGLE WE SEE WITH BOTH FIG AND KRISTEN. LOVING SOMETHING BUT STILL STRUGGLING WITH FOLLOW THROUGH #BEING TOLD YOU'RE NOT DOING ENOUGH WHEN IT'S SO FUCKING HARD JUST TO GET WHERE EVERYONE ELSE IS AND NOT UNDERSTANDING WHY IT'S HARD FOR YOU #it was easy and now that the rubber's hit the road it's hard for you but not for others so it must be YOU that's the problem #you must be lazy or stupid or just not suited to this after all even though it's part of a pattern that has been happening all your life #if you were good enough or cared enough then surely the discipline would come easily to you! the way it comes easily to all your classmates #SCREAMS I gotta stop before I write a second essay in the tags. I'm so normal you can trust me to be normal about D&D characters

[hephaestuscrew]

When it becomes clear that Pryce is threatening to walk Minkowski out of an airlock in Ep57 The Devil's Plaything, Eiffel says No for three lines in a row. The first of these lines is a low Oh no of horrified realisation. The third is a defiant shout against the idea that he'd surrender. But nowadays it's the second of these lines that gets me the most: a No that's soft, understated, almost breathed, not addressed to Minkowski or Pryce, just a word which escapes him as the full reality of what might happen sinks in. It's quiet enough that it'd be easy to miss if you were listening in a loud place. It's not an initial sound of realisation. It's not an attempt at defiance. It's not Eiffel trying to plead with Pryce or snap Minkowski out of Pryce's control. He'll do those things later: yelling at both Pryce and Minkowski, banging against the airlock door, crying out in desperation. But before that, he breathes the word No, and he's not trying to communicate anything to anyone. He's just whispering No, expressing beneath his breath - perhaps unconsciously - that this cannot happen. Minkowski cannot die.

#Wolf 359 #w359 #Doug Eiffel #Renée Minkowski #Timestamp is around 24:55 if you want to relisten to accompany this post #that's on the ad-free feed though #Sorry for not including the clip #Anyway it's such an excellent Zach Valenti acting choice #Eiffel is normally so loud about his emotions #which I think is why it's so powerful that this is a more understated moment #This whole exchange is more understated in the episode than in the script #In the script when Eiffel realises what Pryce is threatening #his line is 'Oh. No. No #no...' #But in the actual episode it's just the one 'Oh. No' before Pryce speaks again #In his shock and fear and denial he's quiet at first #It's also particularly powerful because we're so used to hearing Minkowski react to Eiffel being in danger #which is often louder and less understated than this #but this is the first time we get Eiffel really seriously fearing for Minkowski's life #I think that's partly why he reacts how he does #Minkowski's not the near-death situations one so this can't happen #Also I think about how in the Patreon Q&A that they did soon after this ep #someone asked 'would Eiffel really have let Minkowski die rather than surrender?' #and Gabriel responded by saying something about how Eiffel obviously isn't thinking clearly in that moment #and that's how I see it too #like if he was able to properly think it through and he really believed that the only two options were #Minkowski dying or him surrendering #I think there's no way he'd let her die #But he believes so strongly in the third possibility that Minkowski will snap out of it #and Thank God he's right

[insertsomthinawesome]

I'M BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!! Okay so honestly I have been very very inconsistent over the years with just disappearing for periods of time due to various things 😂 So it probably seemed pretty normal to most people.

But it felt different on my side, so I'm excited to be back in business. I took a month long hiatus! 31 days of not drawing digital art. Its not something I talk about on here? But I've been suffering from some serious long term Art Burnout for.... a really really long time. Long enough that I should've taken a break probably years ago. It finally got so bad that I could barely draw. I was scared to do it (cause it always looked "bad" in my eyes [i'll come back to that]) and doing it was exhausting and disheartening.

I talked it over with somebody and realized that the fear and anger and frustration I felt towards my own artwork was uh. Not Normal or Healthy. And I finally committed to taking a real break for once.

I still drew a little bit by hand? Traditional art has always felt like it has lower stakes for me (i don't often share it online, and sometimes I don't even share it with friends) so I did some of that when I felt like it. But Digital art was completely off the table.

I had put such an immense pressure on myself to make my digital art perfect, to make as much of it as quickly as possible to satisfy something. It wasn't fun anymore. I'm proud of what i've made over the years! But for a long time now the stuff I've been making was made while hating every second of making it. With some rare exceptions.

I hated my art! It was a combination of Perfectionism, taking in too many external expectations, and the burnout. If you hate doing something its kinda hard to love it even when you want too lol. It wasn't "Bad" in the sense that the quality was low and it was ugly! It was "Bad" in the sense that it was unhealthy for me to keep doing it at that point in time.

I'm glad to report though, that with my hiatus officially over as of Wednesday last week: I am once again. In Love. With doing art, and being an artist :)

I put off taking a break for years cause I was scared that taking a break would mean that I would never achieve all the things I wanted to do with art. I was scared it was a stupid and lazy thing to do that would mean I'd never achieve my dreams. And Also even though I kinda hated drawing, I also loved making art. Its a weird duality that I can't even really explain??? I hated it but I also loved it. I wanted it but I also wanted to run from it. It wasn't until I was more mature and had more clarity and insight (and unfortunately also until the problems got worse) that I was finally able to let go of those fears and just do it.

And I'm really really glad I did. It was everything I needed. And I hope to strike a better balance in the future with art. Taking more breaks when I need them, or just when other things have my attention like reading or Video games (Some star rail got played during this time xD)

From the outside things probably aren't going to be that different?? At this point I don't really have any sure plans to post anything I've been drawing since my Hiatus ended. I might or I might not xD I'm still a hobbyist artist taking things at her own pace, but I hope that it shows how much happier I am :)

Whumptober 2023 is being officially put to rest by this post btw! I was in major burnout when that event started, and I'm ready to just, move on from all the past expectations I'd shoved on my shoulders. If I feel like filling any of the prompts or going back to any of the ideas I'd come up for it I will! But I'm not going to worry about doing it unless the desire sets in. Thanks to everybody who's been so kind to me throughout my time on here as an artist! Ya'lls tags and screaming and kind words, the fanfic, the asks and the responses? Its been fantastic :) You guys have made me laugh, smile, and cry tears of joy. I hope from here that things only get better and sweeter! And if I have bad days again, that's okay too.

Here's to 2024 and whatever it may bring ya'll :D 🎉🎉✨✨🧡💜

#isa screams #long post #gif #flashing #i think? Lemme know if I'm incorrect on that one alksdjfLKSJDJDSG #I don't normally talk this much so its kinda strange? #its kinda nice to be more honest about this stuff though #I'm a bit more of a private person so its hard to find the balance between wanting to discuss things openly and honestly #but with the fact that I don't owe the entire world an explanation for everything I do #its a tricky thing #but today I felt like doing this and I think that's okay #if i regret it I just won't do it again alsdjLSDJLFJSGSDG #thanks if you read this! I appreciate it! #I'm a pretty smalltime artist relatively. So sometimes it feels as though it doesn't mater what i say or express. #But hm. I doubt its really that simple or bleak #And if I don't respect myself then well. Who will right? #And I want to learn how to be happy with how little or how much I get #part of the reason I've done so poorly mentally as an artist is chasing numbers and outside praise instead of asking the harder questions #am i happy with what i do? what I make? Who I am #I'm going to probably be working on those questions and problems for the rest of my life. #But thats okay. Thats not a bad thing :)

[gracelesstars]

On this New Year's Eve, are you too thinkin' bout season 8's: "I did everything I could to get you out! Everything... I did not leave you!" "Nothing you could have done would have saved me, because I didn't want to be saved... After the things I did... I didn't deserve to be out." and season 15's: "I left, but you didn't stop me."?? Because let's be real - Cas would *not* have stayed if Dean had stopped him as he didn't think he deserved to have Dean's acceptance/love. (can't believe that 3yrs later on I am doing 180 on this - i.e. initially thinking that Cas not staying was a result of Dean not asking)

anyways, I guess this is your usual reminder that Dean saving Cas from the Empty & saying "you don't think you deserved to be saved/loved?" is the only series conclusion that would've made perfect sense. See you with the same message, just rephrased differently, next year!

#spn #supernatural #destiel #dean winchester #castiel #believe it or not i was having a normal evening #but then my brain decided to project into my mind the clip of teary-eyed Dean saying all that in s8 #the emotion in that scene had my spn brainworms active again #that was Dean-way saying that he wanted Cas to STAY (with him) #and then it got me thinking how Cas was blaming Dean about this in s15 #which is bs because Cas would've left anyways #he did so many times later on in s15 after all #Just how Dean didn't think he deserved to be saved #Cas didn't think he deserved to be loved #and that's why the ghost of the Empty-rescue-finale will haunt me for the rest of my life #in another universe they complete this perfect parallel and end up together 😢😔

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

sometimes i remember that gojo wanted to tell geto “we’ll meet again, right?” just before he died but forced himself not to knowing it would have cursed him and then i start thinking about how kind and thoughtful gojo is as a character and how he hasn’t been able to lean on another human being since geto defected and then i want to . Scream

#like. there’s something almost helpless about that question. because gojo doesn’t *know* the answer…. he’s asking for reassurance #he wants to know if they’ll ever meet again even though deep down he knows the answer #and it’s so… bare? so vulnerable. #if he had voiced it that would’ve been the first time in TEN YEARS that gojo truly bared his heart to someone and asked for help #but he knew it would turn into a curse and so he gulped the words back down. :(( #gojo is such a sincerely kind and thoughtful character and it breaks my heart that sooo many people in the fandom can’t see that 😭 #he isn’t a saint and he definitely isn’t selfless but above all else his goal as a human being is to make sure no one ever feels alone. #that no one has their youth taken away from them….. that everyone gets a Choice in how to live their life :(((( it’s so important to him. #i just genuinely don’t understand ppl who insist that he’s morally gray ….. gojo is a consistently Good person and that never changes #he wants to have fun and laugh and he wants his students to enjoy their youth. he wants them to think he’s cool. #he’s the big brother slash father Ever and i love him to death #i got sidetracked this was supposed to be abt geto 😔😔 anyway the final scene between them will always be my Favorite ever #and the key to understanding both their characters and love for one another #ty for coming to my ted talk i’m feeling normal abt them today 😇😇 #ari noises ✩

[starjunkyard]

"Im not even sure anymore if we get to choose who our friends are" There is a part of me that resents you for making me a worse person than i want to be but i am inexplicably uncontrollably drawn to you. You make me a worse person which is the last thing i want yet i want you in every way. If i could leave i would. Maybe i can but i dont want to. I have fun with you. You challenge me and you captivate me and you push me and pull and run circles around me and it makes me feel like a younger man. For the price of being a worse person i get to feel truly, wholly alive. You are the blood that runs through my veins; vital, inseparable. I was reborn when i met you and you are the womb that haunts me. You are the one person on planet earth who knows me. I wish i could leave, move on and be the man im supposed to be but my heart is tied to yours in a gordian knot. There is a part of my soul that rests in yours, magnetic. For as long as i love you i cannot be better than i am. But maybe thats something i can learn to live with. Gregory House-- I think you're worth it.

#house md #james wilson #gregory house #hilson #johan being crazy about yaoi md #johan's mindpalace #Im crazy #like im tearing up #this scene is so romantic it genuinely makes me nauseous #the lowlight setting the lingering stares the soft little smile a dam thats finally broken #I need a 12 gauge bullet in the thigh #Please watch this scene screencaps do not do it near enough justice #do you know whats so genuinely actually sickening #its been months since i finished house md #and i have not watched a single show that has managed to fill even a quarter of the gaping bleeding hilson shaped hole in my heart #shows that have actual gay people actual representation and not a single one has managed to alter my brain chemistry the way hilson has #since day 1 episode 1 #Like its actually nauseating a little its so over for me for the rest of my life #Like im actually never recovering #people say “they dont make xyz like they used to haha” But Guys they Genuinely dont #Im going through withdrawls #I need my yaoi cocaine so bad but my plug died 12 years ago and i cant fucking Move #House md capital of fatphobia homophobia transphobia early 2000s edgy humour outshining modern shows with actual rep like im sick #Its not even because i want to like i feel like there are worms in my brain. I feel like ratatoullie if the rat was evil #This is not what the stonewall riots were for #I feel like so nausous why couldnt i be crazy about an actual gay pairing like a normal gay person. Im gonna throwup #Why couldnt i like music and girls #Its not even that house md is objectively logically better than these shows like no. Im just crazy #Im so sick they make me so sick i feel like there are worms in my head. My head #Dont know when i will ever be onorlmal again. Sorr

[mothssoup]

— maybe you’re both a little scared of having the other’s lives in your hands again

SORRY SORRY I HAD TO DRAW THIS SCENE THEY MAKE ME ILL

#double life smp #double life spoilers #desert duo #gtws #goodtimeswithscar #grian #my brain has been whirring like a ceiling fan since this episode came out n it’s onLy gotten worse #how am I supposed to interact with the outside world #also feeding into the lovebird grian propaganda based off that one post #my take on the turning silly times into plot: #scar is tryna avoid recognising the soulmate thing because they’ve had this song and dance before #they’ve has their lives tied and well that turned out swell for them didnt it #so he doesn’t acknowledge it in a attempt to protect grian and maybe himself #GRIAN HOWEVER #actively acknowledging it because it’s scar and its like being in the desert again and the wound from last season still hurts so he just #throws himself back into protecting scar mode #and they’re both a little scared because they don’t want to lose eachother #or maybe they’re tired of hurting eachother #anyways are there like #normal double life watchers #people who just watch for their silly YouTubers and then go about their everyday lives #do they even exist #my art B)

[drdemonprince]

like, i think what's happening is that plenty of people do find something approaching egalitarianism to be plenty erotic enough, but not everyone, because well a lot of us have very big gendered power dynamic baggage (among other fun insecurities that we also eroticize! cool!) but natalie experiences love as this engulfing, life ruining forbidden thing for UM A LOT OF REASONS THAT WE AS HER VIEWERS ALREADY KINDA KNOW hii, and so in making sense of other people's sexualities and romantic lives she mistakenly assumes that everybody goes that lana del rey for people but it turns out only some of us crazy bitches seem to

#then again maybe i am underestimating the craziness of my fellow humans but i think a lot of people seem to be pretty normal with it #not with their sexuality but with their romantic boundaries and with not longing to completely subsume themselves in a partner #its just me natalie grimes lana and taylor swift and hannibal just hanging out on the crazy girl life raft #oh and revolver ocelot #and we're having a big party for my birthday. maybe shadow the hedgehog is there #like imagine if natalie wynn were to try and tackle a video about polyamory #i would be very surprised if she is not constitutionally very monogamous w how she talks about it #which again as a virgin suicides puff bar lolita deadjournal dot com toxic person same honey but again i think thats not universal #surprisingly large numbers of people do not develop an opium addiction for a year after a girl doesnt want to date them. but me. I GET IT.

[strawberrywindow]

I couldn't stop thinking about an AU where Daniel resorts to gathering vitae again, this time to 'cure' Hazel, after his Brennenburg adventure💫, thoughts all mainly derived from this loadscreen text that tells us that Hazel is still in hospice care by the time the game's story began.

As much as I love Daniel, I don't think he really learned all that much from his experience even in the most charitable ending towards him in which he saves Agrippa. I can very, VERY easily see him slipping back into old ways if it meant saving Hazel. The most he seems to approach viewing torture as bad is when he realizes he himself no longer counts as an innocent so he can't justify killing others to save himself anymore. But killing no good, horrible, bad people to save HAZEL? Now, we're cooking with gas 😀 💀

#amnesia the dark descent #daniel of mayfair #hazel amnesia #fan art #frictional games #curing hazel AU #is what i'm calling it 🤣 i have a lot of other ideas i've been brainstorming #i'm considering this a title page i guess idk 😐 i kind of want to make this a larger project i work on but we'll see how that turns out 😅 #also the lighting here is only for the drama💫 i don't think hazel would actually drink bright blue tea even if daniel gave it to her 😂 #other things i'd like to explore in this au maybe: daniel and hazel reuniting/daniel taking her to live with him in london #the orb coming back into the picture wouldn't it be funny if the shadow brought it back like 'here you forgot this' lmao #obvs not SAYING that but the vibe💫 #daniel being a bad scary man again which is highkey heartbreaking to imagine 🥲 #daniel almost getting caught by authorities and giving them the orb like 'here's all the info you need 😊' knowing damn well he just marked #those men for the shadow now rip #hazel living a 'normal' life not knowing what daniel be up to #hazel being healthy 🥲 #hazel meeting the mandus she meets that is oswald's great grandfather? #i have IDEAS #and i know most of them probably won't get drawn which is why i'm word vomiting them into the tags 🤣

[greenerteacups]

What do you think as Hermione's career would be post battle of Hogwarts? To me her being minister for magic really doesn't make sense. She does not have patience or tact to wade through murky waters of politics 😭😭

So hard to say! The Trio are so, so young when we leave them, I find it almost impossible to project their futures farther than a few years out. The job that suited me at 17 would be radically unsuited to me now. That's why of all the Trio, Ron's ending strikes me as the most realistic — he jumps straight into the save-the-world business again, burns out, realizes he's actually Done The Fuck Enough, Thanks, and pivots into a low-stress career where he gets to see his family a lot. Feels accurate! The others are weirder to me because they do seem to just... pick a lane and stay there.

With Hermione, you could spin her a couple ways. You could say that she leans into her bookish side and does research or teaching, which is not my preference for a couple reasons (namely, I don't think Hermione would like academia as a profession; she finds her classwork interesting and enjoys intellectual validation, but she'd be stifled and wasted in a DPhil program, and she'd be infuriated by the administrative politicking of your average higher-ed faculty). You could say that she gets disaffected with politics and ends up as a barrister or a lobbyist of some kind, but if anything that requires more political finesse, because you don't actually have institutional power, you're just handling the people who make decisions and trying to persuade them of your goals. This is not Hermione's preferred method of influence. She's not even particularly good at persuasion, she just happens to be smart enough (and right often enough) that people take her ideas seriously.

Or you could say her brashness fades with the years into a softened flavor of tell-you-like-it-is honesty, which some politicians actually do successfully trade on; as we see in British politics today, you don't have to be all that charming or clever to get ahead, you just need to be really driven and well-connected (which Hermione completely is; she fought shoulder-to-shoulder with the first postwar Minister and her bestie, the Literal Messiah, runs the Auror Office.) But I don't know if Hermione especially wants to be Minister, after the war. She's just watched years of horrendous bureaucratic incompetence plunge the country into a violent civil conflict. She's had not one, but two Ministers of Magic try to bully or shame her friends into complicity with fascism. Her view of government is... likely extremely dark.

But Hermione also isn't the kind of person who sees her life as a quest for happiness. Babygirl has a savior complex that makes Harry look selfish. (She basically kills her parents — yeah, obliviating is a form of murder, #changemymind — "for their own good," and justifies every batshit, vindictive, mean-spirited move she ever pulls on the grounds that it "helps" one of her friends.) She is a mean, lean, dragon-slaying machine, and she needs a dragon. After Voldemort, the Ministry is the no. 1 threat to muggle-borns and non-wizarding Beings. As a war heroine with basically infinite political capital, I'd be surprised if she didn't try to do something there. That said, Hermione is so vivacious and dynamic that she could potentially grow in a hundred different directions; it's possible that all of this, while true of her at 18, becomes completely inaccurate by 22. That's why I'm not too fussed about any particular fanon interpretation.

#greenteacup asks #sidebar: I know Minister “of” Magic is an Americanism but mea culpa #Someday I might actually bite it and pay someone to britpick Lionheart but I can't do it now #because I have a ban on editing published fic unless it's finished. Otherwise I'll never get around to writing the actual ending #I have a Process #is it the best process? likely not! but it makes the words go. so here we are. #I also think the fact that JKR is Gen X makes a difference here. careers worked differently in the 80s and 90s than they do now #i.e. we have the gig economy and a lot more mobility and EXPECTATION of mobility in your early life #that means career changes & professional pivots through your 20s and 30s are increasingly normal #and in fact have always been normal — but the image of the 'true' or 'ideal' career has changed #so we look at those careers and go hm. really? none of them changed? #none of them even went to uni? do wizards... just not? #but again. I believe the epilogue was written almost completely without consideration as to what happened between the BOH and then #I really believe that JKR did not know what happened to Harry except a wedding and 3 kids. because that was the whole point #I don't think she even knew what his career was when she wrote that scene #It existed to marry everyone off and do a quick munchkin headcount #because of the understandable temptation as an author to keep your hand on the wheel. but it didn't even matter! #the epilogue changed NOTHING! it was the most useless chapter in the series! I just — GOD #you can absolutely accuse me of being sour grapes about my ships getting nixed. I AM sour grapes. I AM a hater. #AND I have plot/theme/craft reasons for disliking it. #I'm not objective. I just want credit for being a sophisticated hater. my grapes may be sour but they're still artisinal.