#i just want someone to understand

[theelectrikcowgirl]

I hate that I have unconditional love for someone who cares very little for me

#animal brain #vent #i never truly have someone when I need them I feel like such an inconvenience #i hope I don't put to much on people but I know I do #i just want someone to understand

[hyperpopandgirlhood]

16th April, 2024

I don't feel sad, but I don't feel happy. I wish the sky was blue and not white. I wish the grass was greener. I wish people were kinder. I wish college didn't suck every ounce of personality I had when I was a child. I wish the one person I want to see nowadays isn't in a psych ward. Sometimes, I wish I was in the USA so I could at least get shot up. I wish I was back at home in Poland. Or anywhere nicer.

I wish I could be the happy and enthusiastic daughter and sister my family deserves. I can't wait until the 12th of June. It will be my exam and my last day of college. I'm always on edge. Maybe it's the temperature. I feel someone is out to get me. I want someone to reach out. I have never been in a relationship. I hate all the self-obsessed, miserable, ignorant cunts around me. But I love my family. I want to make them proud. They don't deserve to see me like this.

Signing off.

#diary entry #dear diary #journal #journal entry #I just want someone to understand

[angeltism]

ohh shit listening 2 random playlists and getting punched in the emotions so hard when Heather starts playing that i well up in tears within the first 5 seconds

#➳ valentin vents #srry i'm pathetic #i could rant . i could rant so fucking much right now . #but no . nope . #people who know all of us could misinterpret or paint my jealousy and insecurity as having negative opinions of others which is not the cas #but i could and i fucking want to . #i just need someone to fucking listen #and actually fucking listen to me . not just . . . pretend to care or only listen just 2 put up w me #someone to comfort me while i cry about all the hurt that i had to fucking deal with . it wasn't anyone's fault for sure but it still hurt #and it hurts even now ! for stupid complicated reasons i don't want to talk about publicly . not for now at the minimum . #i just want someone to understand #i think i'm even more insecure now for reasons that are out of everyone's control . i'm just kinda Like That . #fucking hell i'm sorry i keep being like ''im fine'' and then i have an entire fucking day where i only post vents #i don't want to be dealing w this either lmao . #why does anyone tolerate me

[stuckinapril]

friend wanted to see my tumblr, and when i told him i can’t show it to him bc it’s basically my personal diary he went “oh so I can’t see it but a bunch of strangers on tumblr can??” he literally does not get me. no one will get me like the people in my phone get me

#It’s just so different #even though it’s public it still feels secret and safe. i feel comfy sharing a lot more on here than I do in my actual day to day life lol #in my head I’m also just speaking to myself 90% of the time which helps #if a friend off tumblr saw my thoughts I’d feel so weird ab it #esp bc they might get the vagueposting about certain situations and tell mutual friends #no thank u. this is for me. I’m not about to start censoring my thoughts bc someone I know knows my tumblr #u guys literally saw me have LIVE BREAKDOWNS #meanwhile I’ll have the worst fucking day in history and tell no one about it. I’m already cripplingly private but way more so in real life #this is basically a low stress journaling outlet for me. it’s so important for me to maintain the separation #like this is actually my diary & has been so handy for letting out emotions / articulating thoughts / staying on track !! #& I’ve met so many kind people on here who actually get me. which is so hard to find irl bc I’m surrounded by pre-med gunners/overachievers #who are by standard not very good w emotion & can be competitive/judgmental. or at least it’s hard for me to be vulnerable in front of them #and I’m part of that crowd so I reserve my emotions only to a handful of very close friends #it’s nice to hop on here and express negative emotions!! or positive emotions!! just whatever I want and it’s low stress and people get me #I don’t have to worry about judgment or competitiveness etc etc #like everyone on here is so kind & nice & understanding. & just a breath of fresh air from the types I run w. it’s just nice to have this #so idk that’s why I think I’ll always be strict about keeping the worlds separate. it just works #p

[somecunttookmyurl]

the "all customer service people are trained by management to be illiterate apes you can never get any resolutions by design dont be mean about it" crowd would faint to know there is a guy at my bank RIGHT NOW attempting to resolve an issue that would normally take a week

see. i tried to order food (having nothing of note in the house, and too much pain currently to get down 3 flights of stairs about it) and the payment failed on just eat's end.

but it went through fine on my bank's end, so the funds are tied up in "pending"... for a week. my available balance is now 95p so i can't just do it again

the bank cannot typically do anything about this until the normal time frame for collection passes and they funds just release automatically. just eat have zero contactable customer service

but it is for FOOD and there's no more MONEY and i am a DISABLED CUSTOMER so BY FUCKING GOD not on zeeshan's watch

#i said i live by myself - which i do it's kind of the problem right now #so he's actually said 'i fully understand what you're going through so please know i'm here even if you just want to talk to someone #whilst i wait for a response from the product team' #like. ok king #i hope you can always find a pen when you need one and it always works

[pissandcry]

im such a failure

#i- #i just want someone to understand #txt.post #?

[catofoldstones]

we already have people bitching about how “i can’t stand Chani, she’s so annoying 🙄” and “Paul chose Chani to be the mother of his children, Irulan is just at the sidelines eating dust as she should”, like brothers we cannot do this again. We can’t Chani v Irulan our way out of this one because the problem is Paul and the Empire. Gosh, we truly are never getting out of the patriarchy.

#and god forbid someone mention that Paul in turn screwed over Chani by not making him his wife and granting her the rights and privileges > #> that are due to her #and some fucker will respond oh he had to marry Irulan to become emperor #(YES WHY?! UNDERSTAND THAT) #i just want to scream #wtf is this #is this the level of discourse we bring to these books/movies #? #this is giving very early asoiaf fandom and not in a good way #dune #paul atreides #princess irulan #chani #chani dune #dune books #dune movies #sigh #irulan corrino #duneposting

[eddiemunsn]

,

#vent in tags #helena speaks #tw self harm #tw mental health #i started cutting myself again when we moved houses #not in a suicidal way or a way to punish myself #but because it’s a pain that i CAN control #i cant stop the pain from my mental illnesses or body issues #i cant stop the pain that others inflict on me #i’m always drowning in my loneliness #the sorrow i feel #the mourning of my past and my fear of my future #but hurting myself? i have that control. i get a say #i wish it wasn’t this way it’s shameful and i’m disappointed in my decision making but what’s done is done #and i’m not ready to talk to my therapist about it #but i just wish i had eddie to find my wounds and kiss them gently and remind me how i’m not alone and he understands #i just want someone to understand

[giantchasm]

I hope in the next Legends game they isekai one of the Sordward/Shielbert duo so I can see people writing angst and saying stuff like “they separated him from his other half 😭” “he misses his brother 🥺” about the guys who look like this.

#pokemon #i want to see just how insane the extremely weirdly designed minor characters gamefreak can get people invested in are #also yes for the record i understand the train guys (who this is a playful jab at) were already popular before pla but #as someone who never cared about them beforehand this is what seeing their sudden explosion in popularity felt like #give me angst of THESE guys though or i’ll never be satisfied #it’d be too funny

[pikp0kcas3]

The Hazbin Hotel fandom’s issue with accepting aromanticism and asexuality

Now that it is officially Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week, I want to talk about this!

I find that, as an aroace myself, I am constantly grasping at good representation and coming up empty— it usually ends up in one of two ways.

One: the character is portrayed as emotionless, cold, and robotic in nature. It’s the question aromantic and/or asexual people are often asked: “Are you heartless?” The answer is no, of course, but general media makes it out to be the opposite.

Or two: Their lack of attraction is seen as something to “fix” because they “haven’t found the right one yet”, and they end up with a partner as a “happy ending”.

It frustrates me greatly because of how little people actually see aromanticism or asexuality as a true part of the LGBTQIA+ community.

So when I watched Hazbin Hotel, and I found out about Alastor being aroace, I was over the moon. I was on cloud nine. I also saw how his voice actor has looked up the term as an attempt to learn about aroaces, which makes me OVERJOYED?? Amir is truly a blessing, and I love that he’s proud to embody a character that’s part of our community. It’s so beautiful to finally have a proper character, a fan favorite at that, who just so happens to be aroace— and that’s another thing I love about this.

It’s never explicitly stated in the show (though it is stated in interviews), but it’s rather clear when you’re watching, isn’t it? Alastor’s aversion to any sort of sexual advancement, coupled with Rosie’s blatant “I know you’re an ace in the hole” comment sort of spell out his asexuality pretty clearly, as well as what side of the spectrum he falls upon. In addition, his Valentine’s day card was strictly platonic, which caters to his aromantic side. It feels so validating to finally be represented, to finally have a character in media who shares the same lack of interest in romance and sex as I do.

When I entered the fandom to look for more content, I kind of expected to see the same respect for Alastor’s orientation there too. But that… wasn’t the case? I am fully aware that aromanticism and asexuality are both spectrums— of course, aromantic and/or asexual people can enter those kinds of relationships. I’m not denying that and they belong in the community as much as anyone else on the spectrum.

But, the more I see the same line again and again and again, the more it feels like an excuse to just ship what you want.

Usually I don’t mind shipping? I’m often a firm believer in people shipping what they like as long as it’s harmless and they don’t go crazy over it. I also know for a fact that Viv doesn’t have a problem with people shipping her characters. They are fictional, after all.

But in this case, people are ignoring the very thing that makes Alastor a part of the aroace community! People are ignoring his lack of romantic or sexual attraction!

Is this not the same as changing a gay character’s orientation to suit a straight ship? If not, how so? I’m told that we are a part of this community, so why aren’t we being treated like it? Why is it so hard to accept the people on the end of the spectrum who aren’t interested?

Something I’ve been noticing throughout my life is that society has not exactly progressed very much on the idea of accepting asexual or aromantic identities. Maybe we have, a little, since the old days— but hell, people in “the old days”, which in truth wasn’t very long ago, believed that asexuality was a medical condition to be “fixed” by taking the right medication or having sex. That’s a pretty low bar to clear. And on the romance side, you’re seen as a “late bloomer” or “boring” if you don’t express interest. These days, being friends with someone is treated like a gateway to them possibly becoming a lover. Not getting married, not going on dates, not wanting a partner— it’s all treated like a crime when it’s not.

Maybe I’m selfish, or sensitive, or I’m butthurt over nothing, or I’m making it all about me. Maybe I’m gatekeeping or whatever the term is. But please, please, please, I just want an aroace character like me who simply is not interested in sex or romance.

And I want fandom to respect that. I admire the creations that fans make— the art, the animatics, the writing and the character analysis. And I want people to keep creating because creation is indeed a beautiful thing.

But I really would like people to treat aroace identities like they’re important. Like it’s more than just a spectrum to get wiggle room to wrangle in another ship.

#aromantism #aromantic #aroace #asexual #hazbin hotel #alastor #hazbin alastor #lgbtqia #alastor aroace #PLEASE i just want people to LEAVE HIM ALONE #“but it’s a spectrum” STOP USING IT AS AN EXCUSE #RESPECT AROACE PEOPLE WITH ZERO INTEREST IN ROMACE AND SEX #let us have this #we barely get anything as it is #but just to clarify i don’t believe that most people are being intentionally rude about it #nor am i discouraging people from creating fan content because it is FAN CONTENT and you can express yourself #i just would like people to understand a little more that #yes it is a spectrum and it covers an extremely wide range of orientations #yes ANYONE who identities as someone on the spectrum is completely valid #if you wanna argue with that i am showing you the door and kicking your sorry aphobic ass out #my point is that the spectrum is not a loophole. it is not an excuse and it is NOT okay to just use it willy nilly for your convenience

[ejsuperstar]

Imagine you live in pelican town. The new farmer has been here a couple weeks now and seems to be settling in, except... He's picking the weirdest friend choices. Like sure it's not weird to befriend the local fisherman, especially when he has an interest in fishing himself, but you're pretty sure you've seen him rooting through the Saloon's garbage with the local homeless man. As well, he keeps harassing the poor guy who works at Joja even though you KNOW he doesn't want to be friends with him.

And since you're on the topic of weirdness, isn't it odd he seemingly runs everywhere at a full sprint? Or just... Eats entire raw fish while fishing for "energy reasons"...

...

Despite all that, it's too early to call him off putting or anything... He has been engaging in town traditions, and he's started helping out with the old community centre. He's probably like the rest of you. Someone with a few quirks, that will fit in with the valley great!

Surely he can't get any weirder... Right?

#been playing my new sdv save some more recently #i keep thinking about the whole “eldritch” farmer thing #where the famer is just... objectively strange #i fucking love it #i love the idea of the farmer being some sort of higher being #someone who doesnt understand local conventions #someone who doesnt get why its considered weird to eat whole raw fish fresh from the river #or how it might be offputting to greet someone for the first time using their name #but at the same time #this eldritch entity genuinely wants to be a part of the community #they want to learn and they want to love and they want to learn to love #i see minmaxxer/speedrunner eldritch famer a lot #mainly played off for gags #but not genuinely loving their live in the valley eldritch farmer #at least not often #theres so much temptation to write an eldritch farmer x shane fanfic set in spring 1 or some shit lmao #text post #stardew valley #sdv #sdv farmer

[skunkes]

#IM SO DRUNK @ THISTLE THISTLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 #a doodley #OK SLEEP NOW im giving myself a headache thinking abt him #thje glimpse we get of him in the opening is enough to make me want to jump out a window im not gonna make it. #alsofd this is making me think of when i posted my yearly redraws and someone in the tags put like #''how does it feel to have had every art style'' #afn like literally. i just cant go full lineless/painting bc ilove lines too much but i can do Dis #too many ways to draw #anywhay i just talked abt how im not a fanart person bt i want to draw him so bad. i love him #he's my favorite character in the series #even more so now that its Done and Cohesive. it hurts so bad i understand him i do

[szfiction]

This parallel makes me insane actually (and there is something incredibly Lawlu about it to me)

#One Piece #Monkey D. Luffy #Sanji #Trafalgar Law #Lawlu #something about Luffy saying almost the exact same thing that Corazon said to Law makes me so emotional actually #It's easy to think Corazon and Luffy would get along. they are both kindhearted goofy sweethearts #but it's more than JUST that #it's that deeper thing where they understand and carry the pain of the people they hold dear #And it's the fact that overhearing Corazon say this is pretty much what changed Law's life #To know that he is cared for and seen and someone wants the best for him #And then Law loses him #And then years later he aligns himself with Monkey D Luffy #Someone who has these echoes of Corazon in him #The echoes of the person he held so close to his heart #Like. It's no wonder Law is so compelled and mystified by Luffy in equal measure #I think if Law heard Luffy say this to Sanji he'd go insane #cause I know he's remember everything Cora said that night exactly #and it might tell him why he sought out and believed in Luffy against all odds and logic #(why he cares for him so much too. why Luffy's stubborn insistence on loving him without condition is so familiar) #I don't even know if these tags are making any sense but IM FEELING THINGS OK #donquixote rosinante #Corazon

[doumekiss]

if you break it down Kabru's journey on the whole manga is about the ridiculous lenghts he will go through just to get this one weird guy to notice him and talk to him a little bit

#so pathetic I love that for him #and for Laios too because like this is a character that spend his life being misunderstood by most people and being looked down upon becaus #of giving bad first impressions and failing to connect even with people that he thought he was bonding (fuck shuro forever) #Laios deserves someone who is willing to lie cheat and die multiple times just because he wants to hang out with him and understand him #dungeon meshi #labru #thoughts

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 71

Klarion is delighted, excited, impatient, and so very happy. He’s found a friend, not the justice league baby-crew who don’t know how to make friends properly or the order-magician who doesn’t play right, but another realm-being his age! They’re even around the same death-date, his is just a couple years earlier! But to beings who aren’t adults until they’re well into the hundreds that’s practically nothing!

His new friend even has a familiar too- even if he has to explain what a familiar is- and, and even shares his two other friends with him! 

He’s been in this world for what feels like so long trying to make friends and he’s made three in just a month! And they even know how to properly play and wrestle without targeting Teekl like a certain order lord who he doesn’t like. 

Oh! Hey it’s the justice league kiddy-crew! Were they feeling neglected or something?

#chaotic friendship au #dcxdp #dpxdc #prompts #klarion is roughly 4 years older in death years than danny #he found another baby ancient godling! #klarion is trying to cause mischief and play but there's a big culture clash #he's very confused why the young justice team only come for playdates whenever he pulls pranks #But now they've come over for a playdate all on their own!! #Phantom look at them they're learning he's so proud! #Someone: Klarion is very childish & destructive- #Tucker and Sam: He's only six stop being mean to him and his emotional support cat >:/ #Danny is delighted to have a friend whose also down for pranks and chaos but who understands he also has things like school #Realms familiars are emotional support animals that help their respective being #Since realms beings are usually half emotions (at least in core) hurting a familiar hurts their 'ghost' too #Danny's rogues just saw new door open and wanted to play #I mean look at them they're all like 30 years old at most #to the infinite realms that's like nothing #The fentons punched a hole in reality in the equivalent of one of the daycare areas of the zone that formed *after* they had put Pariah the #klarion the witch boy #danny fenton #Danny & Klarion when meeting Ellie: Its free battle friend #Dan will be so confused because in his timeline he never became friends with this other... holy fuck is this another halfa-

[thejasontoddarchives]

Batman (1940-) #426

Batman (1940-) #427

Task Force Z #6 (2022)

You tell him, Jason.

#the mistakes in question: trusting and trying to help someone who was supposed to love and protect *him* #and wanting a parent/family who wants and accepts him #all things considered (re: gotham war) I think I can safely confirm his biggest mistake by far was trusting Bruce #jason todd #robin jason #red hood #dc #batman: a death in the family #aditf #task force z #tfz #aditf was just Jason having all of his worst fears confirmed before dying an equally *physically* painful death #he is not a priority to Bruce. Bruce doesn’t understand his pain. his biological mother heartlessly sold him out. he is without a family. #but also #how the fuck do you accidentally run into your 15 year old kid who fled to a foreign country after you two had a fight #accidentally.