#i just want to sleep forever

[biblicallyaccurateloaf]

Did some TMA inspired nails of the fears, now unfortunately I do not have a third hand so not all fears are featured, also yes im aware the worms look more like bacteria than worms but i’m tired it’s 2 am :’)

#tma #the magnus archives #nail art #idk #i just want to sleep forever #also sitting in one position for HOURS with chronic pain is the worst idea #ignore the nail varnis on my hand

[saturated-soul]

I thought I'd feel at least a little better by now

#but i'm not #i'm still worried #i'm still grieving about losing someone i never wanted to lose #my mental illnesses are still fucking haunting me every second of the day #i still feel hopeless about a future #i'm still stressed and disregulated to the core #idk anymore #i just want to sleep forever #words

[chibi-tsukiko]

The answer to the question: It can’t get any worse can it?

Isn’t yes.

It’s: it always gets worse. Always.

#i’m so tired #i just want to sleep forever #personal #pointless post #trigger warning

[jazzyblusnowflake]

and under that night sky in the mountains,

with the stars circling around me with the occasional shooting stars passing by,

while i flew back and forth on our badly made swing on the edge of the cliff,

and staring into the third quarter of the moon that was edging towards completion,

i swore off the religion, the way of life, that was assigned to me, that i never consented to, that constrained me, that gave me nothing but fear and worry and dread, and never let me grow...

it might not be a fancy occasion for anyone, and most might say i damned myself, but nobody needs to know,

its an important milestone for ME.

i can breathe now, and at least the God i know says that if you dont accept any way of life at least live the current one you have to the fullest. because what creator would hate their own child for anything...

i can breathe now, i can HEAL now.

im still scared, ill still cry, ill still question my decisions...

but with the right people helping me, like the moon, i too am striving to become whole again,

and for the first time, im no longer scared if im going to hell, if it means im going to enjoy living again

and for that

for the first time in forever, i smiled for no reason that night

as the wind blew accross my face and combed through my hair as i was swinging back and forth...

i was happy again... ♡

#snow rambles #just needed to share this milestone for myself #i never thought id live to be 24 #ill be 24 in a few weeks #im scared #but i want to be free #im so tired #i just want to sleep forever #but if im going to hell at least im living a good life #i love my found family #and the people who accept me #im not gonna trade my lifetime with them for an eternity in heaven

[el-costae]

my funkin’ b-day. have a half-assed drawing of me after rushing papers again

#art dump #im so tired #i just want to sleep forever #ill spoil myself nensai today because thats the gift ever no caption no elaboration

[dragonbornoflegend]

have a p gnarly sinus infection rn but im being soso brave abt it (lying)

#its not covid i checked #but i feel like im fucking dying!!! and i still have to go to work every day #i just want to sleep forever

[spook6]

I cried and cried and cried. I feel worse now. I wish I could d*e

#I just want to sleep forever #I’m fucking tired

[thepapernautilus]

hope you feel better soon!!! how aboutttt 2, 3, 11, 16?

2. Will you participate in any fandom exchanges or fic challenges, etc? 

no! 💕 because i get very freaked out by them!!! (i'd like to feel comfortable doing them again but not just yet!)

3. Do you anticipate writing for a new fandom this year? Which one?

dear god above i PRAY i do not but who knows... we'll see if i end up eating crow on this one or not lmfao i'll be happy if i finish my astarion fics honestly

11. Would you like to try any new fanfic genres or tropes this year?

yes!!!!!!!!! honestly my goal this year is to embrace the weird and push the envelope. i have always loved reading fics and stories that blend erotica and horror and i want to fully commit to doing that myself without any fear or thought, "kill the part of you that cringes" etc. i've been thinking a lot about the particularly awful psychological horror of astarion's time in the szarr palace... there's so much sheer awfulness i would love to dig into.

16. Do you have that one fanfic that you wrote a ton for, ages ago, but never posted? Will this be the year, come hell or high water, that it WILL get finished and posted?

the closest thing to this currently is my novel. i have got to finish that thing this year lmao. i think that's pretty reasonable to try to achieve! i have big real life stuff to deal with until spring so i'm probably going to be focusing on fun fandom projects until then.

#naut asks #ty for indulging me!!!! #idk how anyone gets writing done when they're sick #i just want to sleep forever

[bare1ythere]

Ive spent years reading about and agreeing with lots of positive and kind ways of thinking about mental health but I guess I internalized None of it because now that Im feeling more depressed during a term than I think I ever have I cannot shake off the self-invalidation and and frustration at myself for not being able to do things. Why

#shut up me #Ive been trying to vent post less on here because since most my normal posting goes on the dr sideblog theres less buffer here and #i feed guilty about that ghdsjkfs #But I literally feel so bad I can hardly take it #Ive been stressed in previous years! filled with existential dread and self doubt and whatever! #But usually the grind of schoolwork keeps me going and moving #but now I can hardly keep up #I feel so sick. ugh #and finals are approaching so Of Course this had to happen at the best possible time #I just want to sleep forever

[heliianth]

i have to go onto collegeboard and pick career goals or whatever for scholarship money and its just. working to live for like 40 more years feels so exhausting im so exhausted i dont want to be tired

#i wish i was a little kid who wanted to be a vet again #so many of my friends say things like i want to be an archeologist or i want to help people work through stuff or i want to sell art #i want to be asleep #i just want to sleep forever #heliichats

[lemuseeinvisible]

Should I sleep or continue working on my presentation that’s due tomorrow 🙂🔫

Gotta love it when school makes me choose work over my health 🤣🤣

#and once again it’s all my fault bc i procrastinated #im so tired #i just want to sleep forever #sarcasm #vent???? #thoughts #school sucks #text post

[local-mysterys]

Genuinely haven't felt this stressed and burnt out in a long time.

#burnt out #im so tired #im sad and tired #I just want to sleep forever #anxiety attack

[snovyda]

.

#dissociating every few minutes and feeling suicidal really isn't helping me when i need to be working #i need to pull myself together but no idea how and what for #i just want to sleep forever

[zabim4ru]

.

#I'm so fucking depressed man #I just want to sleep forever

[the-sappho-of-lesbos]

I feel physically and emotionally exhausted I just don’t want to do anything or feel anything

#I told myself I would cancel my appointment today but I really want to lol #I just want to sleep forever

[drunk-with-dreams]

I think what hurts the most is that I thought you really cared, I thought you were different. I just want someone to stay and love me. I miss you so much.

#alone #all alone #unlovable #i have nothing #I have no one #i just want to sleep forever #sad #depressed