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atinyniki · 5 months

Text

flowers and confessions.

group: stray kids !

pairing: nonidol!bangchan x f!reader

genre: fluff, pinch of angst

warnings + additional info: reader is referred to as y/n, reader and chan are both whipped for eachother, chan is referred to as channie, yeji of ITZY and changbin have a crush on eachother in this au for the sake of the plot (NOT SHIPPING), reader and yeji are roommates, love confessions, college au, reader and chan like cooking together.

authors note: this is something i was doing with a friend of mine at uni a year back but he had a gf </3 i never ended up confessing, so i decided to make this story a happy ending :) this is also not proofread. english is not my first language, so please excuse any grammatical or spelling errors. happy reading :)

wc: 3733

“and she’s more of a tulip girl than a rose girl. got that?”

“yes ma’am”, chan chuckles nervously.

“listen to me chan. you’re a good man, and i know if she gives you a chance she’ll give in eventually. just… please don’t fuck it up.”

chan nods his head slowly, processing what she’s said to him. “okay, i’ll try my best not to. thank you, yeji”

she nods, escorting chan out of her home.

‘what could i do…?’, chan thinks to himself. the walk his dorm isn’t all that time consuming, but it feels even longer with the thoughts of you plaguing his mind.

the envelopes on his desk seem to strike up an idea. you guys are best friends, he doesn’t want to ruin anything of course. so… why not confess anonymously?

“like… love letters? from a secret admirer?”, changbin asks incredulously.

“yeah… im sure she’ll tell me about the letters and then… i can ask if she likes them. you know?”

changbin sighs, staring at chans lovestruck face. “you do you. i don’t need any letters because… i’ve got these.”, changbin says as he points to his biceps and wiggles his eyebrows. “shut up bin”, chan chuckles.

he quickly goes back to his room, writing the first letter as an opening. he quickly writes the letter, placing it in an envelope and closing it with a red wax stamp.

the excitement was getting to him, he had a hard time sleeping that night.

“seriously…?”, yeji stares at him, completely unamused.

“what… is it bad?”

“dude. i give you all of that info, and you use it for love letters?”

chan sheepishly nods at her. he knows it’s crazy, but he just doesn’t want to say anything face to face yet. you’re such great friends already, he’s afraid that he’ll ruin things.

“yeji, listen. this way, if i ask her about the letters and she says they’re weird or something, i won’t have to handle direct rejection. she would never know it was me.”

yeji seems to be understanding this more now. “ah… i see. go on then, make sure to make them super sappy. she loves that… for some reason.”, she rolls her eyes.

chan bows quickly, rushing to his next class. he can’t stand being late to this one. it’s his favorite class, not because of the subject, but because of you. seeing your face and being able to sit next to you brightens up his mondays every time.

you watch as he makes his way up the stairs, a small smile on his face. “hey chan”

“hey”, he says with a smile.

he takes a seat next to you, the warmth emitting from his body. you love that you can sit next to your best friend first thing in the morning, especially in the winter.

your professor walks in, and you both immediately focus on your work. mr. bae is no joke. chan makes small talk with you of course, as much as he possibly can without being scolded by your professor. he’s been caught too many times for him to be let off easy this time around.

class ends not too long after, meaning the two of you have to part ways for now. it’s okay though, you always hang out outside of school anyways.

you make your way to your locker to put away some things before your next class. you don’t have much time, but luckily the class is in the same hall.

you open the locker and put away your things, but something catches your eye. a beautiful pink tulip, placed nicely on top of a white envelope. there’s a cute heart on the wax seal, and you’re careful not to rip the envelope while you open it.

you begin to read the letter, a pink hue spreading across your cheeks as you process the words. your heart flutters in your chest, knowing that someone thinks about you in this way.

you don’t think your smile is all that special, but this person definitely thinks otherwise. you quickly put away the envelope, reminding yourself to dry press the tulip later.

all of a sudden, you’re smacked out of your thoughts. you run towards the hall. you’re definitely going to be late.

you arrive at chans with the ingredients, waiting for changbin to get back. you’re cooking his favorite today, so you’re very excited to see his reaction.

the tulip that your admirer gave you is pressed in between a stack of books, you plan on air drying and preserving it later.

“who gave the flower?”, he asks with a smirk.

“oh… no one”, you reply shyly.

he continues to wiggle his eyebrows at you, causing you to shove him playfully.

you and chan continue talking about some studies, when you hear changbin come in.

“chan?”

he stands in the doorway for a second, inhaling for a little while. he rushes to the kitchen when he smells it. “what is all this?”

“we decided to make your favorite tonight, help yourself. we’ll bring the danmuji out in a second”, you tell him.

he smiles so wide it almost reaches his eyes. “ooohhhh thank you thank you thank you! you did all this for meeeee?”, he says excitedly.

“it was all chans idea, thank him”, you chuckle.

changbin jerks his head towards chan, a cute pout on his face. “you did this for me channieee?”

chan stares at him for a little while before rolling his eyes. “no. why would i do it for you? shut up and eat now.”

you both knew it was all an act. as much as chan tried to pretend he hated changbin, you knew that it was just brotherly love.

“thanks chan”, he says with a smile.

chan can’t help but smile back.

you open your locker the next week to a black tulip, your heart sinking to your stomach.

you pick up the note, reading it quickly before you go to class.

“don’t worry, nothings wrong. i just gave you a black tulip this time since i always see you wearing black clothes. i assumed it’s your favorite color.”, it read.

the note went on with the usual, except this time it was about your nose. you giggled to yourself, the words lingering in your mind for far too long. your heart flutters in your chest thinking about who could possibly be writing these.

you run to class, afraid you’ll be late. you lost track of time reading the note, but you don’t regret it. not one bit.

you hope he’ll reveal himself soon.

“mmhhh noo…”, you whine.

chan giggles a little, pulling you closer into his embrace for a second. “i really need to go to the bathroom y/n…”

“you’re warm though…”

chan takes your hand in yours, “i’ll only be a minute. besides, you have the blanket.”

you nod, watching him go and sitting in the spot on the couch where he previously sat. the seat was warm still, almost enough to pull you into a slumber.

chan quickly locks himself in the bathroom, his heart beating almost a thousand times a second. why did he do that? why did he hold your hand… oh gosh. his entire face is red, he tries to wash it away. it doesn’t work.

maybe it’s his fault for sitting so close to you in the first place, but he can’t deny that he enjoyed it. he wants to be in your embrace forever.

“gosh… this is beautiful.”, you whisper to yourself. the note contained a little poem about your eyes this time. you didn’t think they had much effect on anyone.

you pick up the red tulip, admiring it for a moment before placing it back in your locker inbetween some tissues and a stack of books. you enjoyed pressing them.

that way, if you were to ever find your secret admirer, you could keep the memories of your feelings.

wait… feelings? do you like this guy? you don’t even know what he looks like! maybe they’re just… shy?

you never thought for once that a man would be too shy to see someone like you of all people. you’re not really all that special in your opinion, but surely there was more to you that this guy sees.

maybe you could go searching for him…

“you really like pressing those damn tulips.”

you chuckle nervously, “yeah… they’re really pretty”

chan is surprised you haven’t told him anything yet, but he makes sure not to push you. he doesn’t want to let anything slip.

chan sits back down on your bed, admiring you for a bit while you talk about some things that happen at school.

“and she’s been- she… why are you looking at me like that?”, you ask. the look on his face has you tripping on your words, oddly flustered.

“huh? o-oh… um.”, he stutters, afraid he’s made things awkward. he tries to think of an excuse quickly, “you still have a little sauce on your cheek.”

embarrassed, you wipe a bit at your cheek, trying to wipe the sauce that wasn’t even there in the first place. suddenly, chan speaks up. “i’ll get it.”

he scoots incredibly close to you, stroking your cheek and “wiping away the sauce”. your eyes widen, cheeks turning a bright red.

chan seems to notice, smirking at you again and wiggling his eyebrows. you scoff playfully, flicking his forehead causing him to recoil.

“heyyy! what was that for”, he says with a fake pout. you can only giggle at his antics, running a thumb over his forehead to ease the pain.

you continued going on about the girl in your class, ignoring the way chans close proximity made you feel.

“what the hell?”

the note came with a baby blue tulip this time, writing about how your voice makes his day. ‘so he knows me…’, you think to yourself.

maybe you two share a class or two. either way, you’re determined to find out. this time, you write a note in your locker for him to read the next week.

it’s a simple note, not as cute as his are. the only thing it asks is if you two share a class.

you hope he notices it next time, it’d be a shame if he didn’t. you place the note in your locker and quickly run back to class.

now that you think of it, he must have a class in the same hall as you since he always gets to your locker in the morning. maybe he’s in your first class.

wait. why are you so eager to know? gosh, how are you falling for someone when you don’t even know who they are?

“oh come onnn, please?”

“jeez, why do you wanna know so bad?”

“becauseee… you seem so happy when you get these flowers. do you finally have a boyfriend?”

you shoot him a look, shutting him up immediately. “what do you mean, “finally”? i’ve had many boyfriends before”, you say while shaking your head.

chan laughs beside you, causing you to laugh a little bit too. “well, the truth is, i don’t know who these flowers are coming from. someone puts them in my locker every monday with a love letter…”

chan looks at you, wide eyed. he fakes his surprise, “wait… you have a secret admirer?!”, he giggles.

“yeah… i guess i do”, you smile.

you turn your head to look at him again, his boba eyes staring right at yours. you can’t help but think back to what the note about your eyes said. does chan see them the same way? do you… want him to see them the same way?

chan pulls you into an embrace when he sees the look in your eye. “well, hopefully he reveals himself soon”

your face is painted with a light blush again. how could you possibly be falling for two men at once?

why do feelings have to be so confusing…?

the weeks go by, different tulips and notes arriving in your locker every week. you’ve confirmed that you’re both in first period together, but that seems like the only clue you’re getting for a while.

each day, you press the flowers and place them in your special frame next to the decorative box, in which you place the letters.

your frame is just a blob of colors now, the ivory, purple, and crimson tulips popping out the most.

you’ve been meeting with chan a lot more recently for movie nights. you’ll have to admit, they’re really fun, but you’re finding it difficult to evaluate your feelings.

you’ve started to develop stronger feelings for chan, as well as your admirer. your heart is torn between the two. you don’t know who to choose. you dont even know if you can begin to choose.

how could you break their hearts?

you wake up early in the morning, surprised because you normally can’t seem to bring yourself to open your eyes. you nuzzle closer into the warm pillow, wondering why it feels so much better than usual.

“sleep well?”, chans voice revertibrates through your entire being. you pull your hands back, scooting away from him and looking up.

“wait… i- what the hell?”

“hey it’s not my fault! you were incredibly drunk, and you insisted i stay.”

“oh…”

“oh channie… please stay! i can’t sleep without you… you’re so warm”, he mocks you and laughs.

your eyes go wide, a hand clamped over your mouth in shock.

“i actually said that…?”, you hide your face in your hands.

“no biggie”, he smiles.

you bury your face in your palms, embarrassed. you’re glad you didn’t let anything else slip out though. chan pulls you back into his embrace, drawing patterns on your back and laughing a little.

“hey, seriously. it’s fine, i don’t mind keeping you company you know. your channie will always be here”, he giggles.

“shut. up.”, you reply, your voice muffled in his chest.

you hear the door open, quickly jerking your head towards it. “you lovebirds done? i brought breakfast”, yeji smiles.

“yejiii” you whine, hiding your face again. chan gets out of bed, laughing again as he gets ready for the day.

“fuck…”, you mutter under your breath. it’ll be much easier to confess to chan right? you can confront him face to face, but with your admirer it’d be more difficult.

what if they’re just joking around? if you confess, the tulips will stop. you’ll have no more notes to keep in your box. but then again, if you do confess, there’s a high chance of the both of you ending up together.

there’s no way chan likes you, but you really need to get it off your chest. you can’t pursue your admirer while still having feelings for chan, that’s not fair to him.

if chan is so excited about this admirer, there’s no way he could actually like you… right? fuck it.

you run over to chans dorm, changbin opens the door for you. “y/n? chans not home right now, sorry.”

“yeah i know… i was um- i was meaning to talk to you actually.”

“oh! come in”, he says with a smile.

you explain the whole thing in depth to changbin, even your feelings for the two boys. changbin laughs to himself, ‘what has he gotten himself into?’, he thinks.

changbin doesn’t even seem to notice that tears are leaving your eyes. he quickly grabs your hand, running his thumb over it. “hey, i’m sure nothing bad will happen if you confess to chan. he loves you too much to let you go just because of a crush.”

“no but that’s the thing changbin! it’s not just a crush- i love him. i love the both of them. and i don’t know who to choose, or how to tell them, because it’s not fair to date one without telling the other and…”, you trail off.

“just tell chan you love him. and if you really want to win him over, tell him while you’re cooking or baking together or something.”

“what? why?”

“just do it, trust me.”

you nod, continuing to plan out your confession with changbin. you figure out how you’re going to confess, you hope chan will enjoy having his favorite dish.

“i should tell yeji about this too, she’ll probably have some advice.”

changbin goes silent, thinking about what else you could do. you notice the way his face goes red at the mention of your roommate.

hopefully he’ll confess too.

“i brought everything… what’s the occasion though?”

“you’ll see”, you say with a smile.

you both make your way to the kitchen, smiling along the way. of course your nervous, but it’s a lot easier when you have his reassuring smile.

it seems to be something that always puts you at ease, it’s one of the reasons you love him so much. you feel so safe with him.

you guys work on dinner, smiling and giggling the entire time. “that damn coral tulip really put you in a good mood hm?”

you chuckle a little, “hm, yeah”, you beam at him. hold on… did you tell him about the coral tulip? “wait… how do you know about the tulip”

“huh?”, chan seems to be confused, but then his eyes go wide. he realizes his mistake immediately, but he doesn’t know what to do.

“chan… i never told you anything about the tulip. how did you know what color it was?”

he opens his mouth to say something, but it won’t come out. “i…”, the lump in his throat rises more, cutting off his air flow. he’s seconds away from hyperventilating.

“channie, was it you the entire time?”

tears well up in his eyes, he didn’t want it to happen like this. he planned a whole reveal for you, and now it was all ruined.

you quickly turn off the stove, walking over to chan. you’re being careful not to scare him away, a smile on your face. “it’s you isn’t it?”

he nods softly, some tears escaping his eyes. “i’m sorry…”

you cup his cheek with your hand, wiping away the tears on his cheek. “can i…?”

he nods, and you crash your lips into his. “i love you channie”, you say breathlessly. he grabs your waist, picking you up and setting you down on the island. he pulls away from the kiss and looks you in the eyes.

“i love you so much y/n. i’m so sorry i didn’t tell you i was just… scared of ruining our friendship.”

“chan… i um. i didn’t- i don’t want you to think i kissed you just because of the letters. i was planning on confessing to you today but that just made it so much better”

chans eyes twinkled in the light, stunned by the sincerity in your voice. “y/n… i truly do love you a lot. i- thank you.”

you give him a quick peck on the nose, wiping away his tears again.

“so, you were making all this so you could um… confess?”

you nod shyly, averting his gaze. he giggles at how adorable you look right now, sitting on the kitchen island.

“what’s so funny chan?”

he picks you up once again, this time pinning you against the wall. your heart flutters again in your chest, the butterflies erupting in your stomach.

“no. not chan… i’m your channie”, he smiles at you, leaning in for another kiss. you enjoy the moment with him, but all of a sudden you stop.

“chan! we still have to make the food”

he looks at you, sets you down on the floor and then turns away from you. you’re a little confused by the sudden change in attitude, but then it hits you.

“sorry dork, i meant channie”

he smiles at you again, helping you fix dinner.

“wow… first dinner with my girlfriend and we even cooked it together.”, your eyes widened. you were going to have to get used to chan calling you his girlfriend.

“wake the fuck up you two!”, yeji yells from her room.

you’re in the same position as last time, you face nuzzled into chans chest and your arms are wrapped around him. he’s holding you this time, whispering sweet nothings into your ear and stroking his fingers through your hair.

suddenly, yeji barges in to see you two practically looking like a pretzel. “oh my gosh…”

chan continues running his fingers through your hair, not paying attention to yeji at all. “wait… really?!”, yeji says excitedly.

it seems like shes finally gotten the hint, and you reach up to give chan a little peck. you smile at yeji, watching her visibly gag. “you know, you couldn’t just said ‘oh yeah we’re dating now!’. you didn’t have to kiss him. gross…”

chan laughs a little, the sound being music to your ears. “hey, it’s not my fault”

“yeah yeah whatever. get ready, we’re going out with changbin.”

you turn your head towards yeji again. “changbin? why so?”

chan lifts his head from the pillow. “are you finally dating now?”, he asks excitedly.

“ew no… gross”, yeji says while rushing out the room, not wanting you to see the crimson red covering her face.

you open your locker, instantly met with a much bigger envelope. you quickly open it to read it, smiling to yourself as you do. you’re so glad that chan did all this.

you searched your locker again, looking at the floor to see if the tulip fell, but you couldn’t find one. you pouted a little, the tulips seem to be something you cherish a lot. just then, you hear chans voice behind you.

in his hand is a bouquet, all different assortments of tulips. he doesn’t say anything, he just gives you a kiss and heads off to his next class.

you stare at him as he leaves, completely in awe. tears almost spring to your eyes, but you fight them off. quickly placing your bouquet in your locker, you run to your next class.

you make it there just on time, but before taking out your notebook, you grab your phone.

y/n: thank you channie :) channie <3: i hope you liked them :) y/n: of course i did! y/n: i love you channie <3 channie <3: i loved you first <3

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mildangzz · 8 months

Text

inexperienced professor won x experienced uni student reader

au where your poor professor has to deal with you teasing him every day during class :(( until one day…!!!

warnings: nsfw + idrk? sorry 😞

> i’ll write pt2 for camboy jw soon :3

—

9:00am

“How exciting…!” You mumble to yourself as you wake up and get ready for your classes; showering, brushing your teeth, dressing yourself, doing your hair and makeup.

Now, why would anyone put this much effort into dresses up for class, let alone one so early? (not even) The answer is simple: Professor Yang.

When the new semester started, you were not excited at all. School starting just meant no more free time, no more time to hang out with friends as much as you used to and had to focus on work and school. What a drag!

That is until you walked into the lecture hall, seeing possibly the most beautiful man you’ve laid eyes on. Sitting on the corner of his desk, book in one hand and a pen in the other. You stopped at the door and stared at him for a second or two, regretting not putting in more effort into your outfit that day.

Once the lecture started, he introduced himself as Professor Yang Jungwon, who was just 3 years older than you and a single man (this is very important!) You barely paid attention to what was being talked about, eyeing him the entire time and you swore he would stare you up and down for a second too long. So going to class is going to be worth it now!

10:40am.

You open the doors to the lecture hall and exhale, going up to Professor Yang’s desk with a small pout and your assignment. When he notices you in the corner if his eye he tenses up, turning to look at you as he put his hands on his lap. He smiles at you.

“Good morning, Miss Y/L/N. What can I help you with?”

You sighed, loving hearing his voice first thing in the morning. You put the assignment in front of him, crouching down so that you’re level with the desk. Staring up at him, you go on about the assignment. It was an extremely easy task, just working on a few problems and showing work for them.

“This is just so difficult, please explain it to me!”

He leaned forward with his pen, going over one of the questions with you when he feels a hand on his thigh. He turns his head to look at you but you just acted normal, nodding at what he was saying. So he continues…

He continues talking about god knows what while you are on your knees with your hands in his pants, rubbing his cock over his boxers as you place yourself over his shoe. His head shoots back when you pull down his clothes to lick his cock, giving small “mhm’s” and “oh’s” to his explanations, taking him in fully with his cock hitting the back of your throat.

He gives up and full on moans out, gripping your hair as he bites into his fist. “Y-Y/N… wait…” He whines, face flushed and eyes tearing up. “It’s too- It’s too much oh my god” You hum at his words, looking up at him as you take him out of your mouth slowly, saliva connecting you two. “Professor Yang… God, I’ve seen you looking at me every lecture, speaking directly to me and covering your dick when I walk up to you.” You get up and pull down your skirt and panties, positioning yourself on his lap.

He freezes when you sit on him, his hands gripping onto his armrests. You stare at him for a few seconds, grabbing onto his chin to pull him closer. “What’s wrong baby, hm?” He closes his eyes, slightly pouting. “First… I’ve never-“ You kiss him, not letting him finish his words as you pull his arms around your waist. “Like this~”

He pants as you pull away, his grip tightening on your waist. He’s scared to move, staring up at you with want and need in his eyes so you get off his lap slowly, going back down on your knees. “Since it’s your first time Professor Yang, I’ll help you feel good, yeah?”

He groans when you grab his cock, licking it from the tip to the base when you suddenly take him all in. He jolts and whines out loud, covering his mouth.

You look up at him and see him teary eyed, cheeks flushed and hand trembling. How cute…

Since it is his first time, it doesn’t take him long to cum, being too scared to cum in your mouth but you assure him its fine. When he does, you swallow it all, opening your mouth to show him. He swore he got hard again from just how beautiful you looked.

11:30am.

The entire lecture Professor Yang seemed tense, stuttering every now and then and just sighing. He apologized to everyone and just called it a day, saying he was feeling a bit ill. Once everyone left you walked up to him, smiling.

“Miss Y/N… do you have plans tonight?”

#yang jungwon smut #enhypen smut #jungwon smut

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becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys · 7 months

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I'm a student about to start my second year, and me and all my friends are really nervous. It feels like first year was really rough for everyone all over the place and we're all really hoping for a better second year this year! Have lecturers been noticing that too? Do you think it's because of COVID?

Oh my god yes. Jesus yes. It's absolutely the covid effect, and we're expecting to see the disruption for the next five or so years, tbh - the current 18-21 year old undergrads went through the most important years of high school during a lockdown. That not only interrupted academic development (home schooling during a time of stress, massive disruption to exams and exam-taking skills, etc), it also enormously hit emotional development (mid to late teens have the highest socialising needs of the human lifespan, and no one could meet and interact with each other.) And that latter point is having a much bigger effect than the former.

Current undergrads haven't been able to develop the same resilience, the same approach to andragogic education, the same interpersonal skills for dealing with lecturers/fellow students. University is not like school; in school teachers are giving you the knowledge, and gradually encouraging you to try and use it to formulate your own opinions. In university, we're supposed to give you the framework to then go out and do you own research. The bulk of your education comes from you, not us; we're more like facilitators.

But, we're noticing that there's a far bigger skew now towards needing to get the answer right. Anxiety is higher, and so the fear of being wrong is much more crippling for these students, and that in turn means they're less willing/able to take charge of their own education and are more passive with it, wanting to just be fed the right answers so they can rote learn them and get the Good mark. And the disconnect between that and the reality of what lecturers are expecting is pretty big, it turns out, and is causing even more anxiety and stress. Record numbers of my students have started asking me to give their assignment drafts a quick look over, just to see if they're on the right track. Which, you know, I'm more than happy to do; but I do think it's a notable pattern change from three or four years ago.

If you're worrying on a personal level though, Anon, I have some Handy Tips if they're any use!

Remember: the idea of uni is that you are doing your own research and learning on the topics your lecturers describe. They're giving you the basics, but they're expecting you to look up examples, case studies, other research papers, etc. They want to see analysis. That's what gets you the good marks. If you simply describe the information you got in lectures and don't add anything, you'll struggle to rise out of a basic pass.

What's the fundamental point of your particular course? It's important to know this, because it'll tell you how to focus your assessments and exam answers. Just within the environmental sector, you could have Environmental Science (focus: academic exploration and research), Environmental Conservation (focus: applying the academic research to actual management and solutions), Environmental Impacts (focus: philosophy and ethics), etc. In all three, you might be given a paper about the latest IPCC report, but in the first you would focus on exploring all the research papers that formed the conclusion on climate change, in the second you'd focus on case studies around the world and the applicability/feasibility of the shared economic pathways that are going to fix the problem, and in the third you'd focus on the human impacts of both the problem and the proposed solutions. You may of course include elements of all of those, but your main focus should be chosen appropriately.

Keep your notes with copies of the lecture slides in nice ordered folders. Keep a bulleted list of the topics covered in each. This makes it far easier to go and double check the right info when you're stressed out

On that note, the best note-taking system is to add notes/comments to the lecture slides where you record clarifications and things the lecturer said (INCLUDING CASE STUDIES). Don't bother duplicating effort by writing what's on the slide.

I truly do know this is easier said than done, but don't leave your assignments until the last minute. Are you struggling with motivation? You need a study group. You need to body double.

And finally, the biggest: CONTACT STUDENT SUPPORT IF YOU ARE STRUGGLING. Every time I go to an exam board and we get to a student who has failed stuff, the first question the Academic Office asks is "Has this student been working with Student Support?" Even if they aren't that helpful in your uni, working with them means they know about the things you're struggling with, and that you've clearly been trying to work around the problems. That makes the Academic Office far, far more likely to take a lenient view of a student, rather than going "Well, clearly they just don't care then, withdraw them from the program." Your Student Support should be able to help you with counselling, study buddies, a support worker that can help you organise your time and interpret your assignment briefs correctly and give you interim deadlines, etc.

Oh, and remember to schedule in rest and downtime, just as much as study time.

And... honestly, you learned a lot in your first year. The learning curve is less steep in second year, even accounting for the academic rigour increasing. By now, you're basically used to things like referencing, routines, assignment formatting, etc. There are no more surprises, really. Now's the point you can get the bit between your teeth and run.

Anyway: good luck! And enjoy it as much as you can. University is hard, no doubt about that, but it can and should be fun as well.

#asks #the professional world of careers and tasks

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island-in-the-shadows · 1 month

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On Felix Catton & Disgust/Desire

I had been waiting for a long while now to write this post. I wanted to do another full re-watch before I got into it because the ideas for this have been sitting in my mind for a long time. This is going to be a long post and, hopefully, not super pretentious. Most of us fans of Saltburn know, to some degree or another, that the core themes of the film revolve around disgust, desire, and obsession. And the biggest entry point to discuss this is the actions of our protagonist, Oliver Quick re the object of his disgust/desire/obsession Felix Catton.

I've written before that I believe that Oliver did know Felix and that Felix was emotionally vulnerable and candid with Oliver. I further stated that we, the audience, are forbidden from knowing the details of this intimacy because Oliver does not want us to truly know Felix. This means that the bits we get of Felix are small and very subtle. It means that we can interpret Felix's core personality, true intent, true desires in a litany of ways. My opinion is, realistically, no more valid than anyone else's. But for today, I wanted to discuss what I view, from the bits that we get, is Felix's relation with the core themes of the film. And, because I saw a truly heinous takes about a different fandom I'm in and I don't want to think about it, my brain said: hey...let's talk about Felix Catton and his disgust and desire.

Pt. 1: "Only rich people can afford to be this filthy."

When Oliver says the above, he and Felix are in Felix's messy and disgusting dorm room at Oxford. When you take a closer look at the room (which I admit was difficult on my first few views because Felix is lit and positioned to take all of your focus), it is a total shit show. There's clothes everywhere, empty containers everywhere, other unidentifiable debris...honestly wouldn't shock me if there was some used condom somewhere. We know from Oliver that, not only does it look like chaos, it smells terrible. However, Felix is unbothered. He is concerned only with the heat which, in this case, is an external force that he cannot control no matter his good looks, his charms, his pedigree, or his money. By what we see, Felix is quite happy and content in the filth. It is only when Oliver points out the filth and points out that Felix won't take care of it, that Felix reacts negatively.

Felix, as we know, is very accustomed to his messes being cleaned up for him. Before we even get to Saltburn it's a safe assumption to make. Prior to college/uni, he would've gone to some posh boarding school or other. I doubt that they were made to clean everything in boarding school (though if any of you know please let me know). We also know that wealthy people tend to have hired staff who clean for them. This is a young man who has never had to clean up his spilled milk and it has never even occurred to him to do it.

However, the important bit to note is not that Felix is messy and that it doesn't occur to him to clean. What's important to note is that the mess simply does not bother him. Just because he is born to extreme wealth and privilege does not mean that he would have to be this way. There's been germaphobe rich people or people who prefer to have a minimalistic space or any number of things. Regardless of wealth, some people are fine with mess and some people require mess to be done away with immediately. Felix is in the former category. He certainly must notice the mess at some point (even if, clearly, he's nosebleed to it) but he is comfortable in his space.

This is also true of his room at Saltburn. We barely see it, I know, but let's take a look at that glossy af pic of it from the Architectural Digest Article...

There is crap EVERYWHERE. The more you look at it the more crap you find. You can't even say that it's perfectly clean either because there's dirty clothes in spots, there's multiple pillows on the ground, there's a random used water glass, there's either toilet paper or paper towels on the night stand, the bed isn't perfectly made, I could go on. Chaos and filth and mess is, technically, Felix's natural habitat. It's the kind of mess that is surrounded by opulence, certainly, but it's still a mess.

Only rich people can afford to be this messy because they can also dictate when and where their staff cleans. Presumably, there are things in Felix's bedroom (perhaps the toilet paper/paper towels which have a...purpose) which he has instructed Duncan to leave alone. Or Elspeth has put terms for how often the maids come in the rooms. It could be framed in a multitude of ways. The point stands that Felix can exist in these chaotic and, even, disgusting spaces because he chooses to be. What his privilege does, then, is afford him absence from judgment.

We see the staff at Saltburn clean up after the party. We see that they quietly replaced a broken mirror before anyone can question the cracks. We never see the staff judge. Do they? Certainly they must, we all have opinions. But do they express their judgement to the masters of the house? No. It's not their place to do so. They are considered staff and therefore their opinions do not come into play for the Cattons nor would they want to hear them. Even Duncan's genuine unease and grief after Felix dies is mostly kept under control. He's not paid to express his emotions or his thoughts, after all.

And why go into all of this? Because Felix is content to live in the mess, to revel in the gross and in some version of the abject. What Felix cannot handle is being confronted with his pleasure. To me, this (along with wanting to separate Oliver from staff when the younger boy starts actively cleaning) is the main reason why he snaps when Oliver points out the disgusting state of the dorm. He does not need or want to know how he fits outside a specific role that he was born to play and, likely, believes he has to play. Even if it didn't occur to him to clean, he could've used his wealth and influence to find someone to clean for him. But he didn't. Because it doesn't bother him. Oliver being bothered and pointing out that Felix is so wealthy that he can live in the filth is what bothers him, instead.

Pt. 2 "Was it? Was it awful?"

I am going to keep this section short, because there have been much better posts about this and I, personally, go back and forth on this all the time. Regardless, Felix having an interest in a made up fantasy of a shitty childhood and what he can, likely, envision as some Dickensian nightmare of a situation falls into his relation to disgust and desire. What Felix knows of true poverty and addiction likely comes from media or exaggerated stories from people who have been in contact with someone who was an addict or something to that extent. His imagination must be running wild with theories. And while I do think that he did have good intentions regarding Oliver when it comes to this, his demeanour also shows an attraction to the grotty aspects of it. Oliver only ever calls him out on this, to a degree, in the maze. Before this, Felix can be interested in what he imagines is the horror of Oliver's childhood but not be caught out as being a tragedy whore or someone with a saviour complex or anything else, because his interest is not being pointed out. Again, he has an interest or desire for mess and chaos as long as it is not pointed out.

Pt. 3 "You're supposed to be here with me."

Let's, briefly, talk about queerness. Let's talk about how Felix has an image to maintain. How he has expectations put upon him. Yes, he has privilege and wealth beyond understanding, but these things often have a tradeoff. Celebrities, for example, have to forfeit a lot of their privacy. Royalty and nobility (regardless of country) often forfeit chunks of their privacy and the possibility of living outside of a script (publicly, at any rate). Felix CANNOT go off script.

He is implied to be the heir to Saltburn and everything that comes with it: money, land, title, expectations. Like in the days of old, it's probably expected of him to produce an heir. It's also expected of him to marry a lady from his class in order to produce said heir. And, back in 2006/7, people were less acceptating of LGBTQ+ people that they are now, and Same-Sex marriage was not a thing in the UK and it wouldn't be for another 7 or so years. So Farleigh, who will inherit nothing and only ever be given scraps, can embrace his queerness; Felix cannot.

Personally, I believe that Felix did have some sort of interest in Oliver. It's not just in the fact that he is possessive of Oliver to the point of disregarding his family. It's in all the Bambi eyed looks that we see Felix give Oliver. You could argue that these are exaggerations from Oliver but then, how do you explain the POV shots we get of Felix looking at Oliver? How they are also romance coded, lustful, pinky and fluffy? There is something there. To what extent there was something is pure conjecture. But, I personally believe that he had some kind of feelings for Oliver but could not express those feelings and, to an extent, found his feelings for Oliver disgusting.

Even if his mother is, in her way, tolerant of queer people, this does not mean that she would be ok with Felix being with a man. I doubt his father, who is in his 60s at the time, would be any happier about it. Again, Felix needs to have an heir and take over Saltburn. So, at most, they would've tolerated that Felix had a "friend" tucked away somewhere that Felix could go to every so often. Queerness is not the desired outcome and so, at some point, Felix would've had to separate any feelings from the matter. And, hypothetically, in boarding school any hand jobs etc. from other boys would be viewed as part of a norm that exists within the realm of "no homo."

So, given he has been emotionally intimate with Oliver and, given that he has felt more for Oliver than he probably thinks he should, he feels disgust as much as he feels desire. He can, and personally I think does, want Oliver, but feels disgusted by his feelings and has a strong desire to keep them channeled in the "appropriate" way. Just the same, he gets jealous and he does not want to share. He cannot abide by Oliver being free to pursue another partner (guarantee he would be equally as incensed if he had found out about Farleigh and it probably would've slightly registered had Oliver actually slept with Indabel). It's specifically a slap in the face that it's Venetia who has done this kind of thing before and who is allowed to be physical with these friends of Felix's with whom Felix does not feel he could or should be physically intimate. Thus, the possession and the jealousy and the spurned wife behaviour of it all.

Pt. 4 "You make my fucking blood run cold."

Bref, I think Felix had good intentions but poor thinking skills when he wanted to take Oliver to his parents' house. Multiple posts have discussed this bit and I do think he wanted to further trauma bond with Oliver the way they further trauma bonded when Oliver's dad "died", afterwards, per the script, they were "closer than ever." And then they had that intimate moment on the bridge and spent some time there completely alone instead of being at a giant party. I think he thought that the experience would bring them closer and that he would be there to, in his way, protect Oliver. And I still think this plays in to all the little ways in which Felix desires disgust and is disgusted by his desires. But he does it anyway.

The betrayal of trust and intimacy that follows has to feel like a bomb has gone off in Felix's mind. But what's worse for him, again this is solely my opinion, is that he still desires Oliver regardless. It might not have fully formed in his head and he then dulled it with drugs and alcohol and with his shoddy attempt at fucking Indabel in the maze, but possibly the inkling of why Oliver lied the way he did had entered his brain. Oliver already tried to explain. Told Felix in the hallway when they got back that he wanted to be Felix's friend. And Felix likely relived his entire relationship with Oliver including what Oliver just told him. And, to me, Felix was not entirely opposed to it. He didn't immediately kick out Oliver or cause too much of a fuss. He wanted space. He wanted to not think about it for a while. But Oliver forced his hand.

Again, here we have a Felix who is disgusted by his desire. A Felix who, deep down, knows that he likes that Oliver lied. That he likes that Oliver desires him so much that he would do anything for him. Likes that, despite NEVER wanting anyone to know the most debauched parts of him, Oliver is close to knowing all of his darkest parts and loving him for them just the same. But a Felix who, nonetheless, does not allow himself to revel in the filth once it's pointed out.

And Oliver points it out. In a big way. "Everyone puts on a show for Felix! [...] doesn't this just prove how much of a good friend I actually am? How well I actually know you!" He does know him. Felix knows this. Felix CANNOT go off script. Felix cannot acknowledge his love for things that are disgusting or less than savoury. So too he cannot allow them or acknowledge them here. And then we have something in the script vs. how Jacob actually looked that's what inspired me to write this overly long post in the first fucking place.

This is not the exact beat. Because this is after Felix says his line about his blood running cold. The vibe is the same, though. Regardless...is THAT the fact of disgust? Because to me, that is not disgust. That is some form of desire that most mortals will never experience. But then...it also IS disgust. Because the two are intertwined for him. Because he desires because of the disgust at the situation and at the lengths of debasement Oliver will go to to please him. He is a boy who loves mess and chaos and who makes his home there. And, to whatever extent, his heart could've made a home in the mess and chaos and filth that Oliver brought to the table. Even if Felix has to be disgusted at his desires and prevent them. Even if Oliver took any option or opportunity away from Felix.

Oliver makes his blood run cold, but Felix never said that was a bad thing. And it isn't. Just as Oliver revels in the filth of bodies and their fluids and the inferred possession that comes with them, so too Felix revels in the filth of places and things he shouldn't want and things he can only truly savour in the shadows where no one points them out.

TL;DR Felix is as much of a freak as Oliver is, though in a different way. He is shown to be comfortable and even like messy and gross things but, he only does so when it's not pointed out. He can be, to a point, physically close and emotionally intimate with Oliver and, even partially overlook a betrayal of this intimacy, but only if it's never pointed out. Only if it doesn't break with the expectations and social script on which he has been raised and to which he has to stick. He serves to demonstrate the relationship with disgust and desire as much as Oliver does, but his relation is more subtle and harder to see. And maybe, just maybe, given time, he would've at least bent the script.

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Super sorry for how long this is, I just needed to get it out! Thanks to @ollieapologist for being my biggest cheerleader about this post. Sorry if this is incoherent!

#saltburn #felix catton #cattonquick #super long post #just my two cents #literally I know this can be interpreted in so many ways but it's been rattling around my brain for a WHILE now #now can we get some uni prof to come grade me? lol. I think I did ok #saltburn meta

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tyunkus · 4 months

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nerdy jock college roommate tyun who is on the deans list and works out shirtless in the living room 🙏🙏 comes and gets you from every party you go to and get shitfaced 🙏 he’s sooo mean n u think he hates u but he’s really just trying to keep himself from fucking you stupid

lia dont play with me ✋✋ i will literally go batshit crazy ✋✋✋ THIS IS SOOOOO HOOOOOTTTTT i love unassuming hot men who dont actively try to be hot but thats what makes them hot FUCK

like god… you’re a few months into uni and while your roommate was a little aloof and distant at first you like to think hes warmed up to you at least a LITTLE bit 😭 but tbh you’re mostly just impressed and a little intimidated by how well he does in pretty much all aspects of his life .. i imagine you’d probably find out first about how well he does academically and you pin him as the regular nerd type but then… two weeks into school, when you’re walking into the kitchen to make breakfast one morning you see him in the living room SHIRTLESS,, huffing and puffing doing fuckin’ bicep curls or something and you’re like Oh!!!! OH!!!!

anyways you spend the majority of your time in his presence trying to ignore how fucking wet he makes you without even trying LMFAOOO just bc he’s so effortlessly smart, begrudgingly helping you with assignments.. and hes so needlessly hot when he tries talking to you after he’s done with a workout and his toned stomach and strong arms r covered in a light sheen of sweat HBFNFNG

AND THE PARTIES… please. at some point the way he looks at you before you head out with your friends - eyes all dark and heavy, brows furrowed slightly together, jaw clenched - gets a little too intense but youre also certain he doesnt rly like you that much so youre left with mixed signals and the urge to drink it all away. but even when he picks you up hours later when youre shitfaced and giggly and touchy and enjoying the weight of his strong arms hoisting you up a little toooo much.. and hes just murmuring about how ridiculous you are, how he’s never doing this again.. even then you’re sure you’re not imagining the way he takes a good look at you and swallows thickly.. the way his eyes rake over your figure.. the way he hesitates a bit before he turns away from you and tries to focus on getting you both back home instead..

the truth is you’ve caught him - read him like a book, really. but he won’t let you know that. how is taehyun supposed to tell you that the dress you’re wearing is making him a little crazy, the way it clings onto just the right spots, the way it shows off all the nicest parts of your body he wants to keep for himself, within the four walls of your shared dorm? how is he supposed to tell you that the way you look after parties - sleepy eyes, teasing smile, lipstick smudged at the corner of your mouth - gets him so hard so quickly it makes him feel like a stupid schoolboy again? that the past few weeks - months, even, he’s been so attentive to your every move, just watching you talk and laugh and exist makes him want you more and more every second? that the only thing stopping him from taking you by the waist and bending you over his lap, the only thing stopping him from pulling your panties down to your ankles and finally getting his hands on that perfect body and pretty pussy, is the fact that he wants you to beg for it first, beg for him like a good girl?

#txt hard hours #txt hard thoughts #txt smut #taehyun hard hours #taehyun smut #taehyun hard thoughts

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dudecunt · 4 months

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traditional mother who teaches her son that boys are meant to milk women's cocks only, and mom is there to show just how good his pussy is supposed to feel fulfilling its purpose. turning her wide-eyed, innocent son into a cockdrunk whore in just a few weeks, pussy juices coating his inner thighs as he learns to suck her dick while his mom personally guides his healthy sexual development. he has to bring spare pairs of panties with him to his classes since he's soaking through his underwear thinking about how he gets to suckle on her cockhead when she brings him home. it's normal -- his friends at uni talk about embarrassing stories leaving wet spots on chairs and ruining their pants thinking about their moms giving them their routine breedings at home. he's so jealous -- his mom's taking things slow, teaching him how to worship her cock before it gives him mind-blowing orgasms. he knows it's important that he learns his respect like this. it's so that he doesn't get spoiled and greedy. still, he's starting to get a little fuzzy headed with yearning.

he loves when his mother rewards him at school with a video of her stroking herself, cooing at him and praising him after he tells her about his excellent exam scores and grades. usually he has to go to the bathroom to send her a video back, whining at her for getting him so worked up that he's rubbing his little boyclit and fingerfucking himself for her in between classes. she always gets a little hungry responding to them, especially on days where he ends up squirting all over his hand and gets especially whimpery about how bad he wants her to fuck him already.

by the time she takes him in missionary for the first time he's so wet he's made a huge, embarrassing wet spot right under his ass. she's fingered him open, got him through a couple of needy, crying orgasms, and now she's kissing him, holding him close to her body, saying sweet, nasty things to her little treasure as she slow strokes his messy cunt. he's got her leg-locked in a vice grip, body radiating heat, looking straight into his mom's eyes as she makes love to him, her tits squishing against his chest and her full, taut balls slapping gently above his asshole. his mom's so hard, seems almost primal while she trains him like this. there's sweat sheening on her neck and collarbones from effort and focus while his cervix tries desperately to pull her cum from her with every convulsing orgasm he has on her cock.

after his fifth orgasm of the night he's no longer speaking coherent English. she's finally breeding his boycunt, breath stuttering and eyes rolled back, shooting a thick, pent-up load straight into his cervix. he gets to about eight -- ten, maybe? he's lost count -- once she's done. she had four loads to give him, whispering against his lips about how long she's been waiting for this, how happy she is claiming and fertilizing his virgin womb, getting him properly broken in. he's a fully broken-in cockslut once her length squelches out of him, wet gushes of their coupling spilling from his used hole while he shakes from his multiple orgasms.

his clit throbs watching her cream-covered, juicy dick swing between her legs as she knees off the bed. her thighs glimmer with streaks of his inferior cunt's slick, a sign of a boy properly trained.

he ends up squirting all over her floor, legs shaking in a hands-free orgasm as he deepthroats her half-hard cock clean. even as he's trembling he doesn't miss a single drop of their lovemaking. he shivers when she groans, dribbling precum when he washes her balls with his tongue, whining out little i love you, mommys between kisses. he has to brag to his friends about this tomorrow.

#oops #!nc3st #matriarchy #nb nsft #nblw nsft #nblw ns/fw #praise k!nk #mind break #squ1rting #breeding k1nk #loss of virginity #evan's brain #100 notes

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jinnie-ret · 6 months

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Hihi! I hope you’re doing well 🩷

I was wondering if maybe you’d be willing to write a comfort fix of Felix x reader who has severe nausea + fainting spells?

I have both and lately it’s been so overwhelming to the point where I can’t work whether at school or my job because I get so overwhelmed to the point that I cry for hours lol

another day

felix x reader

genre: angst, comfort

content warnings: talk of nausea, fainting, dizziness

word count: 0.6k

summary: your boyfriend felix comes over to help you through your fainting spells.

Sorry this is late! I hope you're feeling better by now my lovely and that your fainting spells aren't too bad. I bet it's a horrible feeling so I hope this brought some comfort to you.

Reblog if you enjoyed, and let me know if you want to be added to my taglist!

FELIX'S MASTERLIST

MAIN MASTERLIST

The throbbing pain in your head was getting worse and worse. Yes, you had made it from your bed to the sofa in the living room of your apartment, but you weren't going to be moving anytime soon. It had been like this since last night, but you thought with a good night's sleep, that the dizzy spells and nausea would have left by then.

But they hadn't.

You had a part time job to work, a uni assignment to work on, and people to see. Those people being your friends and your boyfriend. Perhaps it was the stress of this that made your headache worse, but it wasn't going to be leaving anytime soon, and so, neither were you.

Unaware of all the buzzes coming from your phone, you groaned as you curled up into a tighter ball on the sofa, tugging your blanket over you. And you fell into a deep sleep after experiencing another dizzy spell that and the whole room spinning.

Ring. Ring. Ring.

You groaned as you stirred from your unconscious state. Who was ringing you at this time? Hand shakily gripping onto your phone, you winced as you dropped it in the floor. You managed to swipe answer.

"Hello? Baby? You there? Why haven't you been answering my texts?!" Felix's panicked voice was heard from the floor, as your arm dangled off the side of the sofa.

"Ughhh, Lixie?" you quietly groaned, your voice sounding a distance away as Felix immediately stopped his worried ramblings.

"Y/Nnie? Babe, what was that?" Felix asked more calmly this time, although you could still hear a slight trembling in his voice over the phone.

"Feel awful," you whimpered, groaning as you shuffled slightly to sit up and grab your phone.

"Aw, babe, is it your fainting spells again?" Felix cooed over the phone, hoping the answer would be no because he knew how much you suffered in times like this.

"Y-yeah, I, I..." you trailed off, words muffled slightly before you hit the floor, hard.

"Y/Nnie? Babe?! Shit... I'm coming over," Felix immediately gathered his things and headed over to your place. He stayed on the phone on his way there and you stirred, waking up again.

"Ow," you winced, having landed on your arm.

"Baby? You're awake?" Felix sounded breathless.

"Felix? Where are you?" you groaned, sitting up and grabbing onto the sofa.

"I'm a minute away, baby, I'm nearly there," he sounded like he was entering your apartment building now. You didn't even have chance to respond before your door was being unlocked and the presence of an angel was beside you, lifting you with ease into the sofa. Hands traced your body, checking you over.

"Oh, my girl, what's been going on?" Felix pushed your hair back, scanning your face for any signs of discomfort and looking into your eyes specifically to see if you could focus on him.

"Dizzy spells, again. Been feeling so sick," you mumbled, squeezing his hand back as he sat with you, eyebrows furrowed in concern.

"You should have told me, love, I've been going crazy with worry all morning. Can I get you anything?" Felix gently cupped your face with his hand.

"Mmm, just need you right now," you yawned, eyes naturally watering and he wiped them for you.

"Ok, ok, I've got you, let's just relax for now, and if you need anything I'm right here, okay love?" Felix wrapped his arms around you, shifting his body to lay down next to you, and cradling you in his arms.

tagged: @skz-streamer @kiraisastay @hannahhbahng @backintomykpopphaseagain @sakufilms @hanjiquokkaaa @arloo00 @dunno-wut-to-do @splat00z @cheesemonky

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merakiui · 2 years

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Oh my god I never thought Id see an alpha!scaramouche. Mera, hes been on my brain a lot recently because of the leaks I saw of him (nervous about what his new design is gonna be and what his animations are gonna be). Some more brainrot for omegaverse though ! Maybe a way you would find out about him being an alpha is that your suppresants don't get renewed on time so when you go to seek comfort from the wanderer you notice he seems a bit different around you. Theres just a little hint of brainrot, you'd do a better job at expanding on it than I possibly could <3

Omg he's been on my mind so much lately!! orz I miss brain rotting about him, so expect lots of mouchey thoughts. <3

(cw: yandere, omegaverse/abo, pregnancy, unhealthy behaviors/relationship, obsession)

As for the omegaverse brain rot, what if it's that one trope where Scara gets you pregnant by accident because you went into heat and he got overwhelmed by his instincts and the two of you end up fucking without protection? And he's so close to biting your neck and claiming you as his for all of eternity, but he miraculously holds back and just,,,, sinks his teeth into his arm instead!!! And now the both of you are sort of stuck together after the pregnancy test comes back positive some time later. You're so ashamed that you've burdened Scara with this and you apologize profusely while he just stares at the test, half-expecting a joke or a mistake or something. You tell him you'll deal with this yourself and you suggest getting rid of the baby since you can't afford the resources or the time needed to care for a child. You're in your final year of university. You have to focus on your degree, not a child, and you don't want to bother Scara with any of your problems.

Scara has this moment of internal panic when he hears you say that because he actually doesn't want you to do any of that. He can't explain why, but the idea of you getting rid of the baby makes him feel oddly uncomfortable. So, since he's a very well-off alpha with a stable and respectable job, he moves you into his penthouse. He says it's only to keep you safe. Omegas are already vulnerable enough, but one that's pregnant and emits the sweetest pheromones?! That's just asking for conflict. Scara promises he'll schedule an appointment with an ob-gyn (hmm maybe it's alpha albedo ooohhhh), but he waits a while. He'd prefer to keep this between you and him (the last thing he needs is Miko breathing down his neck if she finds out; and she'll no doubt tell Ei and then he'll really be in hot water). He'll have the family doctor come in to see you. You won't even have to leave his home, save for when you travel to uni.

Scara's almost never home. And for the first few months, it feels like he just doesn't care about you, which isn't too terrible because it allows you to do all the things you'd normally do regardless of this new arrangement. But Scara is so cold and distant, almost always in a foul mood when he's home, and you begin to wonder if this was a good idea. But while you stew over your doubt, Scara's been watching you through the cameras in his home while he's at work. You're so precious when you're oblivious, and he's given an immense serotonin boost when he watches you crawl into his bed and wrap yourself up in the blankets, most likely to surround yourself with his scent.

There are just a few concerning issues. One: You're still attending university and he can't always follow you to and from your school. Two: Your friends are always messaging your phone. He'd know because he's had a colleague he's acquainted with tap into your phone so that he can read every message as soon as you receive it. You haven't told them anything yet, which is a relief because he wants to make you disappear from the world so that it'll be you, him, and the adorable baby growing inside you. You don't need those fools anyway. And three: You don't actually like him. There's no love. You're just here because he told you he'd take responsibility.

But when your friends insist on meeting up with you, claiming that you never go out anymore, it really gnaws on Scara's patience. And when you get into heated arguments with him when he refuses to let you go outside for fresh air, of all things, and he has to calm himself down because he doesn't want his temper or the intense amount of pheromones he's releasing to stress you and the baby out, it just adds more fuel to the growing fire. You only need him. Why can't you realize that? That's what you told him while he was fucking you all those months ago. So why does it feel like you can function perfectly fine without him (save for those little moments when you get weepy and melancholic, yearning for an alpha's presence)? He'll make sure you'll depend on him soon enough.

After all, he'll be the only one in your life. There won't be anyone else to turn to. You'll have no choice but to accept him and this life, even if you think you can leave after you've given birth to Scara's child. There's no way he's letting you go now, not when he's fallen so deep into this obsession.

#genshin chit chat #kier-xs #yandere scaramouche #tw: omegaverse #tw: abo #tw: pregnancy #miserable alpha salaryman scara x overworked tired omega uni student reader...#<3 wonderful dynamic hehe #so many alpha scara thoughts omg OTL

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hwajin · 28 days

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little life update for anyone who cares!!!!

i've been so inactive on here (even tho i have SO many works in progress </3) because i've been kinda super busy! i have never posted anything regarding uni or my job on here because i never wanted to jinx anything but basically, i had been toying with the thought of quitting university for ages now because it made me so so so unhappy and i actually truly hated every second of it 😭 since i hadn't had a plan B i was basically just pushing through it and giving uni chance after chance (while working part time at a bakery which was physically insanely exhausting tbh) but! last year i finally looked into alternatives and applied for a library job/ schooling and got it a couple weeks ago! meaning i finally dropped out of uni officially AND quit my bakery job, AND will start working as a librarian from july and on + will receive additional education in relation to the field!

all in all, this means i will be super busy since i'll be commuting and living in different cities part time, going back and forth etc, studying AND working — so i'm not sure how this blog will be managed in the future! i do write better under time pressure/ stress tho, and i do know that i definitely won't stop writing altogether, i just suppose i will write/ post as rarely as i already do (sadly </3), i hope you understand! i have a big series in the planning which i hope i can get out this year and before i start with the new job, and about a million drabbles so the ideas are definitely not dying out — i just hope i can get some of the motivation back i lost along the way of being frustrated over uni and new jobs and life changing altogether! i've never been good with changes so even tho i'm SO excited to start this new chapter i'm also insanely scared and nervous, and that has made me lose the focus needed to write etc, so i hope when i'm a little more used to the new job and everything i can be back on my game 💪🏼 that's basically it, if anyone cared to read this far take care 🫶🫶🫶

#☆°.—kathy talks!!

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softtdaisy · 1 year

Text

SAVIOR - PETER PARKER

DESCRIPTION I peter will always love you and protect you, specially from your new guy who seems to hate him

PAIRING I tasm!Peter Parker × fem!reader

WORD COUNT I 2,9k

A/N I i was watching Wednesday and I have the biggest crush on Xavier and there is this episode where he is the scars on his neck??? yep the inspo comes from here. I hope you will love this story ❤️

It was a quiet Friday night. The week was over, you’ve done all your homework for your uni classes and you were in front of your favorite tv show. Nothing could have prepared you for what was going to happen.

At first, you noticed a shadow behind your window. You thought it was just you being paranoid about living alone. You knew from a pretty good source that the city wasn’t as safe as they want to make it look. But when you gave it another look, you knew for sure that you didn’t hallucinate the first shadow. Your heart missed a beat and you promised that you were going to kill that stupid idiot if he wasn’t in a bad shape already.

“Peter!” you whispered loudly when you opened your window. And of course, your best friend gave you this sweet and flirty smile that only him can gave. It wasn’t the first time he was coming at your house late at night, oh hell no. But he always managed to scare the hell out of you. Which was super ironic considering he was wearing his spiderman suit, meaning he was supposed to save you from the scary thing outside. Not be one.

Peter put a hand through his hair before placing his elbow against your wall, looking like a model posing for a picture. “I know you miss me today, baby.” You could tell he had a pretty long day from his broken voice. You haven’t seen Peter at all today. You usually eat together at least one time a day but sometimes his missions keep occupied all day. But as soon as he can, Peter always managed to come see you. Even if it’s three in the morning and you’re already sleeping.

“I fucking hate you right now, Parker. Get in.” You heard him laugh while you got back in your apartment. When you turned around, he was already taking his suit off. Good things you always had some clothes for him here. There were some good things in dating your now best friend in the end.

You and Peter dated for a year, during your first year of high school. Maybe you were too young to understand how love was supposed to feel like. During the summer, you decided to break up to focus on your friendship. You kept saying you were soulmates and that you didn’t want a heartbreak to make you hate each other. You were jealous when Peter started to date Gwen during your last year. For the first time, you felt like Peter was slipping through your fingers. What if she was the one for him and you never had to live the best romance trope when you would both fall in love with each other again in a few years?

Because deep down, you always felt like you would get back with Peter one day. It was meant to be, you knew that. But the only question was when? Were you ready to wait your whole life just to feel Peter’s lips on yours again? To have his hands exploring your body like it was the most precious piece of art he ever got to touch? To his beautiful eyes looking at you and giving you all the love, you deserved? You kept thinking about that at night sometimes.

But even if Gwen left after high school for London, making her and Peter break up, there was still one cloud in the horizon: your best friend was New York favorite superhero. And let’s be honest, it wasn’t the best option to have peaceful relationship. Being Peter’s best friend was already threatening enough. He didn’t want to risk having you as his girlfriend and losing you.

And from this lack of attention and love, you started to give your heart to other. That’s how Spencer entered your life. More than a classmate, he became your friend from day one. It felt normal to start seeing each other when you realized you had so much in commons. You weren’t dating officially; you wouldn’t call him your boyfriend. But it was enough for your best friend.

And just like you were jealous of Gwen, Peter was terribly jealous of Spencer. You were not stupid, you knew he always managed to be occupied to avoid him when you proposed to go out together.

When you came back in the living room, Peter looked at you, frowning. A quite funny picture considering he was wearing only his boxer. A quite hot picture too, you had to admit. “You’re alone, right?”

“No, my clients of the night are waiting in the bedroom. You want to participate, Parker?” you said with a flirty smile. That was when you realized your outfit wasn’t the most appropriate to welcome someone at home. Of course, it was only a pajama but your short ride up and Peter could easily see your thighs entirely if he wanted to. Nothing he never saw but still. So, you tried to pull it down discretely after throwing him some clothes.

“No. I meant, no Spencer tonight?”

Beyond being jealous of him, Peter was sure Spencer wasn’t sincere. As soon as he met him, Peter kept saying that something wasn’t right with Spencer and that he must be hiding something. Of course, you believed his gut and tried to see what could be wrong with your partner. Turns out nothing was, and you stopped looking for clues that didn’t exist. Peter wasn’t happy with your decision. But he accepted it and kept looking for something individually.

“Nope.” You saw the way Peter’s look changed with just this single word. Nobody was there. And no one would come. It was just you. And him. If you wanted to. He started to make some step towards you, still in his underwear while your hands were still on your short. “No, Spencer.” You finished answering right when Peter was just a few millimeters away from your face.

You could feel his breath against your lips, and you were dying to taste them again. Peter’s eyes couldn’t leave you. They screamed attraction and desire. He wanted to do so many things to you. “Maybe tonight is the night we can try some things again then…” he whispered, bringing a hand to your cheek. You loved the way his thumb was brushing your skin so slowly it became sensual. Especially when it moved slowly to your mouth, and he started caressing your lips.

That was how you knew Peter would always be the one. You were ready to throw everything away for one kiss. And that was you did when you put your arms around his neck to bring him closer and close the gap. Peter didn’t waste any second and put his arms above your butt to lift you up. Your back was now against the wall, your legs around his waist and your lips lost against his. Maybe it was the waiting that made the kiss so good. Or you both just got better.

When you caressed his back, you felt some big scars and immediately looked at it. You couldn’t contain the gasp that escape your lips when you noticed those three massive wounds. “Oh my god Peter, what happened?” you asked. But he was too busy kissing your neck to answer you. And you almost gave up from the way his lips felt against your skin. Almost. “Peter. Parker.” You said, hitting him behind his head after each name. Which made him sigh, obviously.

“I got attacked tonight. That’s why I was there in the first place before your legs seduce me.” He offered you his magic smile before giving you a kiss. “Let’s take care of that after, ok? I need to take care of that first.” He said, getting back to the kiss. His hands started to lift your shirt and you knew that you wouldn’t be able to argument more.

Nothing could have made you stop kissing Peter right now. Not when you could feel him growing in his underwear and his skin getting hotter from all the desire, he had for you. No. Nothing.

Except one thing.

Three knocks on your door. “[y/n], it’s me. Spencer.”

You didn’t expect him to come. And Peter could tell by your expression. Spencer knew you were alone tonight, and it wasn’t that surprising that he would come here to see you. And it wasn’t like you could lie about your presence: everyone could see the lights from your window.

You quickly left Peter’s arms and pushed towards your bedroom. “Go hide there. I’ll make him leave.”

“Hide your bedroom? While your boyfriend is here? Damn, [y/n] that sounds like a strange way to propose a threesome.” He excepted the hit on his arm when he talked, but he still managed to laugh about it. “Parker!” you groaned before finally pushing in your bedroom for good.

You put a hand in your head, trying to look at least a little presentable when you opened the door. “Hey you.” You used this innocent tone you always have when you’re hiding something. Like the boy you were kissing seconds ago hiding in your bedroom.

“I won’t bother you for long, I just wanted to check on you.” You felt bad for Spencer. He was so sweet for coming here late just to make sure you were alright. And when he kissed you softly, your mind couldn’t focus on anything else than Peter’s lips. And how better they tasted.

You let Spencer come inside, offering him a drink while he was telling you about his night with his friends. He gave you names that you didn’t remember hearing in the past. Or maybe you weren’t paying much attention. And clearly, you weren’t either now. Otherwise, you would haven notice immediately when he stopped talking.

It wasn’t after a few seconds of you whispering for yourself that you noted the silence in the room. “Spence?” you asked, frowning and coming back to the living room.

To see him with holding the one thing you almost forgot was there in the first place. To your defense, you tended to forgot Peter was Spiderman for your own good. It was way too stressful and you knew that if someone started to say mean thing about him you would defend him. Like a true best friend. So yeah, you didn’t expect to see Spencer holding the Spiderman’s suit in his hand.

“What’s this?” he asked, like it wasn’t obvious. And you wondered why you should feel guilty since you were one of the few people who knew about Spiderman’s identity.

“A suit. For…a costume party.”

You didn’t think this would work out perfectly. You didn’t think Spencer was stupid enough to believe you blindly. But you didn’t think he would get that mad.

“You really think I’m a fucking idiot?” You never heard get mad before. But it wasn’t the only reason you felt in danger. There was something different here. You tried to walk away but stumble on your table and ended up on your butt. Did it hurt? Yes. But not as much as realizing you’ve been wrong about someone for so long. “Where is he?”

You wanted to play dumb, asked who he was talking about. But he didn’t give you the time. “Where is Parker!” he yelled, throwing your vase and the flowers bouquet inside right on the floor. You protected your face like you were going to be hit. But it got worse. Because you didn’t get hurt, no. Because when you looked back at Spencer, he wasn’t there anymore. Instead, there was a kind of monster mixed with a werewolf standing in the middle of your living room.

And for the first time, you understood why Peter said being with him could be that dangerous.

“Tell me where he is.” At each word, Spencer was taking a new step to you. And right before he was facing you, you heard your door opening in your back. You had no idea if you should be relieved to know Peter was there to save you. Or scared that in the end, he was the person Spencer was looking for.

“I knew your ugly face reminded me of someone when I saw you tonight.” You heard Peter say. You turned your head and wasn’t surprised to see him in his suit, compared to Spencer who seemed to confuse. A few months ago, Peter asked if he could keep one here in case something happen, and he can’t get back to his place. You hide it in your wardrobe, behind all your old clothes. You were glad that he never had to use it, it meant he was always in control. But tonight, he didn’t have another option. You couldn’t help but think it was because of you.

“But I should have known it was you when you were too stupid to end me down there.” And that’s when it clicked.

“You tried to kill Peter?” you asked. Or reproached him, more exactly. Which resulted in you being grabbed by the throat. You could feel his claws almost piercing your skin and the tears growing in your eyes from the pain.

“Yes, I tried to kill your perfect stupid best friend that is so love with you.” His voice was nothing like the one you used to hear. Spencer had this soft deep voice that you loved. Now it had this deeper almost incomprehensible tone that you hated. The way the word love sounded in his mouth was disgusting and it was even more awful to think he used to talk about Peter.

You could feel Peter moving in your back which resulted in Spencer increasing his grip around your throat and you having difficulties to breath correctly. “Let her go. This is between me and you.” But of course, Spencer just laughed at Peter’s request. You didn’t except more from the bad guy.

“That would be too easy, Parker.” You could feel yourself getting higher, your head almost touching your ceiling. To say you were scared would be a euphemism. You wished you could back to when you were peacefully kissing Peter. “You had the city; I had the girl. Let’s make a deal.”

You couldn’t see Peter’s face, neither could Spencer with his mask on. He had never been more anxious that he was right now. The idea of you getting hurt, or worse, losing you was killing him slowly. If he wasn’t sure about his feelings for you, now he was. Because he was ready to sacrifice every single thing just to make sure you were alright. “Let her go.” He repeated. “I don’t fucking care about anything else, just let [y/n] go.”

“Peter, no…” but your voice died in a sigh when Spencer squeezed your throat so hard that you couldn’t breathe. You closed your eyes to endure the pain.

Next thing you knew, you were in Peter’s arms, laying in the middle of your living room. You jumped. You immediately imagined the worst scenario. Did Spencer killed Peter and left you with him there? From the mess you could see, something bad happened while you were unconscious. And you couldn’t see Spencer, which, you thought meant that he had win. It wasn’t until you felt Peter’s hand on your shoulder that you realize things were maybe not that bad.

“He’s gone.” He simply said. You turned your head to look at him and put a hand on your mouth to contain a scream. Peter had scratches on his face and neck, and you could easily tell he had some on his body too. You slowly brought your hand to his face, and he cuddled against it. “He won’t be a problem anymore, I promise.”

Peter told you briefly what happened after you lost conscious. Spencer threw you on the floor, like you weren’t important anymore. While Peter checked on you, Spencer started attacking him and that’s how the fight started. They ended up on your rooftop and Peter quickly understood that he would be a fight for their life. He hated that. Peter almost thought people deserved redemption or, at least, punishment and not death. But he had a hard time believing in this for Spencer. Then he jumped on Peter. And after he avoided him, Peter didn’t get the chance to catch him before he fell. “I have no idea how he managed to, but he wasn’t dead after this fall.” He sighed, brushing your hair slowly. “The cops were down there so I explained to them how he had attacked a girl living there and I saved her life. They took him and… well, I don’t care what happen next for him.”

This was a lot to accept and the only reaction you had was to hold Peter tightly. You almost lost him tonight, for good. And there were no way you were going to live another day in this crazy life without having him as your boyfriend. You were going to kiss him when he took your face between his hands. “Please, the next time you try to forget about me, don’t take a werewolf. This shit hurts.” He complained, pouting.

You laughed and hit his arm. “There won’t be a next time, as long as you don’t make a mistake Parker.”

“I’ll be careful about that.” He replied before finally letting you kiss him. Ready to finally end the night the way you were supposed to at the beginning.

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