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#i just wish i had a normal family....
littlebirdy0301 · 6 days ago
Aaaaa I think I Really liked this season of Love, Victor. like there’s a few things I can be nitpicky about, but overall it covered a lot of stuff really well & I can’t wait for next season!
(spoilers in the tags)
#Things I’d nitpick about include the normalization of teenage drinking that happens in a lot of shows#And I don’t think that benji’s AA backstory storyline negates that#However with Beji I do think it’s a topic they could do well if they cover it right?#Teenage addiction and unhealthy vs healthy coping mechanisms that is#Though again- I don’t like how normalized teen drinking is and it’s something they did a lot this season#I’m sure I’m bias because of my own experiences with it but that doesn’t mean I don’t have my reasons or that I have to like it lel#Another thing is the love triangle? Specifically w victor benji and rahim. Not my vibe#I wish gay characters could just be friends and not exist purely as potential romantic interests to add plot#But I absolutely ADORED HIM as a character#& maybe they could do something with that? Like dive into how experiencing attraction doesn’t have to mean the end of a relationship?#Like you can have a moment of attraction for someone and that doesn’t mean you don’t love your partner anymore#Cause imo attraction is just a feeling but love is both a feeling and a choice you make (at least that’s how I think of it)#Oh! Another thing I liked was Rahim’s parents being accepting!!#That was lovely and I like that it wasn’t an automatic ‘religious/Muslim immigrant parents = automatically homophobic’#& speaking of parents!! Victor’s parents had such great character development this season!! I adored his dad this season <3#And I liked how they handles victor and the family going through that#Like how it was made clear that his mom’s behavior wasn’t ok#But also that sometimes it’s not black and white where cutting someone off for a bad first reaction is just the thing to do#Like sometimes patience and working through it is the move#And it doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt or that the other person is in the right#But it’s not up to someone else to decide if you can work through it and be patient. That’s a personal decision to make#Also unpopular opinion but I don’t really ship Pilar and Felix? Nothing wrong with them but for now I’m just ‘eh’ about them#But!!! I do like that it opened up the path of bi lake!!!!!!!#Aaaaa can’t wait for the wlw rep!! And the bi rep!!!!#Ok I’m sure I could think of a lot more to say but I’m tired lol
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diavolosboyfriend · 7 days ago
I had a really really bad nightmare. Im glad i woke up, that was... Horrific.
#liselle posts#i just.. it started off i was trying to avoid that man again and i was a chd#child again. and it got so dark and he was in our house - my childhood home.#but my family moved us to somewhere else - it blanked out everything in the home part of the dream. just skipped except for bodily sensation#that i wish i could forget completely. i dont feel good. but we moved to another place and there was something#about a hospital and there was weird stuff happening. i was on the phone with someone - then i was watching a bald eagle#trying to take a pink balloon from me. my brother saw it and he wanted to catch the eagle??#and he ran into this underground thing with concrete and wires and pipes and it was dark. i was chasing him#trying to get him to stop - my papa was right behind me. not my papa from that time the papa from now who is weak#and frail and older. and my brother.. he climbed up and i eas hearing him cry for help because he climbed too high and the eagle disappeared#?? i dont even know. and my papa climbed up after him because he got caught in the wires and he. was almost strangled#and i was still as tiny as i was in the first part with the man from my home town. only my papa could help get him down but i had#chased after him anyways thinking i could do anything. and he almost died in this nightmare and i hated every single bit as much as i hate#the possibility of bad happening in my waking one. but my papa was there in this one.. thats a first. normally i am the only one trying to#do anything - the only one who knows there is danger - in these nightmares.#brother ment
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nct-oli · 21 days ago
I’ve never been attached to a Thai actor in the way I am with EarthMix. Not at all that I haven’t loved and supported others before, but I would just occasionally see what they were up to on social media as it passed through my sphere.
But with EarthMix, I have post notifications turned on, I follow update accounts, etc. I’m excited for every and all activities, and I can tell you actual information about their lives (in a non-creepy way obviously) that I never really bothered to learn about other actors before.
Point being, those two are freaking SPECIAL, and I’m so grateful to be their fan now. I can’t imagine 2021 without them bringing me regular joy. :’)
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importantlesbian · 2 months ago
I wasn't a naive clueless little kid who believed in miracles, quite the opposite I was always pessimistic about most outcomes in life, but still I never believed she would actually die. maybe subconsciously when I wished it happened to somebody else's mom and not mine (very mean I know) but I never explicitly thought that she might die. it didn't even cross my mind as a possibility. she died in the beginning of december and they officially diagnosed her in august which is when they did a surgery on her and ever since then she had that um. fluid collecting bag sticking out of her side and a couple of months later I asked her when are they finally gonna take it out? it's been there for so long. and she didn't reply and just looked sad and changed the topic. that didn't tip me off. I knew the sizes of her tumors (in the beginning at least) because my dad asked me to translate her diagnosis to english so we can send it to his american daughter so she could ask for other doctor's opinions and that didn't tip me off. I heard the word hospice whispered in our house and I sorta knew this is where my dad was taking her from time to time before someone stole our car and burned it and he couldn't do it anymore and that didn't tip me off. one time not long before she died we were hanging out and she hugged me and said that I am the only reason she is still going through all this. we both cried but even that didn't tip me off. the longer it went on the less active and the more bed ridden and miserable she became (which coincided with a stolen burned car and hospice workers themselves started coming to our house). and all of it made me immensely sad but I still had an idea that one day she won't feel as sick and will start to get better and everything will come back to normal
#its hard to explain what my mom telling me im the only thing that keeps her teethered to this life made me feel#but i wanst thinming that she was gonna die#i think part of it is my parents keeping me in the dark for a lot of the things behind the acene#but also my brain just refused to even consider it bc its too painful to think about#i was never angry at my mom for it but i was frustrated before and after she died that they never tell me things striaght up#but i understand it now...idk if kts the ebst way to go about it but they just wanted me to have a normal life#it jist makes me incredibly sad that my mom had to suffer so much and keep most of it away from me as to not upset me :(#ik me explicitly knowing would only make it harder for both of us so i understand her not wanting me to know jsut how bad it is#but still i wish she didnt have to go thru it like that :(#i feell ike im making mysekf sound stupid ingoring all the obviously ur moms gonna die from cancer any day now red flags#but idk. i dont thinm u ever expect things like that to actually happen to u and ur family#tbf my dad also didnt think she'd die#he said he was hoping that spring comes the weather and our dacha would help her recover#youd think id learn my lesson but when my dad got diagnosed with cancer i also didnt think hed die#qhich he didnt#it felt like a very different case compared to mom tho which i mean it kinda was#when hospice worlers came to our house my mom didnt want me in the room with them while they gave her shots#but even then i could hear her trying not to scream from pain :(#i really am my mothers child...
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honeyhenry · 3 months ago
Thank you to anyone who has reached out this evening to check up on me. I live in a pretty emotionally abusive household so it can sometimes break me down more than I’d like. Thank you for being part of such a safe space for me, and for being so kind if you have ever spoken with me. Every single message and notification I receive is seen and appreciated and I am so thankful to you all for getting me through some bad times 💗
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mutetrauma · 3 months ago
i wanna stop having dreams please
#don't read tags please i'm just talking about the fucking nightmare i had#and i feel gross and shit bc of it#bc just. ugh#if you have to read uhhh trigger warning for rape kidnapping abuse and such#it wasn't a good dream lmao#one more tag bc i'm once again asking don't read#but god i hate my fucking brain why would you do that#fucking. guy became friends with me and eventually got me to live with him and then kept me in one room#i couldn't leave the room i was stuck there and whenever he would come he would just r/pe me#and abuse me but he managed to convince me this was NORMAL and HEALHTY and he LOVED ME#there were also other girls he kept locked in their own rooms but i somehow thought we all were friends and i think they thought the same#despite us never interacting bc we couldn't leave our individual rooms#at some point tho i could leave the house bc family member kept insisting to see me#and he had to let me go or else they would catch on but he thought i would just say everything was fine and i could go back to him#but when i left the house everything came crashing down and i realized 'oh he's abusing me oh god oh god what am i going to do'#one person knew what he was doing to me and was trying to figure out a way to get me out without putting me in more danger#i woke up halfway through being with family#i just. feel gross and bad and awful and wish i could forget that dream#shoutout to the little boy tho who was so excited to see me when i left the house and gave me an umbrella bc it was raining#he was also willingly to hide me#i hope he's doing okay#r.exe
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uwanosorade · 4 months ago
like i probably shouldn't wade into discourse and i honestly dont know if this is still a Wrong Opinion that will get me in trouble on this webbed site but like. I never understood those posts that used to go around about how identifying as ace when you're 15 or whatever is going to do Irreparable Psychological Harm to you because what if you were actually a non-ace lesbian or something and you were missing out on lesbian years like? maybe im misunderstanding something but like high school is just not the be all end all of your existence. I mean its one thing if you're attacking yourself and making yourself feel ashamed and miserable with it but if a label worked for you and made you feel positively about yourself at the time then it was good for you, and if it feels like it doesn't work anymore then you don't need it anymore. you're not going to ruin your life by like, describing yourself with the wrong word for a couple of years. You have (hopefully) 60 plus years to think about who you are and try different versions of yourself you don't have to make sure you're stamped with the Correct Orientation on day 1 of puberty
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snekdood · 4 months ago
ppl in my life: why r u always suspicious people have ulterior motives with you
those same people: fucked with me while i was asleep, stole things from me when i was supposed to be able to trust them with my space, would prank me by pretending to be my friend only to lure me in and trick me and use me as a punchingbag to laugh at either for their own sadistic pleasure or infront of friends to show social dominance, constantly talked shit behind my back, constantly bullied me, were never trustworthy with shit,,,
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faggotmyers · 4 months ago
sometimes someone else has to say something for something to click in ur head, yknow?
#mic.vent#abuse tw in the tags bc my familys fucky#my roommate looked me dead in the face as i was complaining about my mother and told me it was an abusive cycle#and i like... kinda just sat there and started talking about it a little more and she just#went michael. your relationship with your mother is a cycle of abuse and thats why you have the feelings you do about familial relationships#and i guess i just like... never really#idk i mean like i knew she was emotionally abusive i mean she has been my entire life but like i just.. didnt think about it.#bc yKNOW IT WAS LIKE NORMAL FOR ME. LIKE SHES ALWAYS BEEN LIKE THIS and i just didnt really put more into it than that#man. this shit sucks i hate having a family and i KNOW thats only bc ive had to deal w/ my own#ive been around other peoples families and they seem fine. people love their families and i just#cant! relate! i just cant#my mother spent so so long being like this. my ex step father was a dick. my bio dad was a dick. her husband sucks. i never got along with#my brother. i never got along with my sister and now they want me to just#get along with three new girls and call them my sisters and call her husband my dad but#dude i just cant.#i just cant.#all family has ever done is let me the fuck down dude i cannot put my trust out like that again to them.#they fucked that trust up a little too many times and i WISH to god i would just cut off contact with my mothers side too but#she lives a BLOCK away from me and i know shed make everything a fuckin nightmare#trauma tw#anyway hi lol im fucked up
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goodlookingforagirl · 5 months ago
Haven’t written in almost a week; I guess Christmas and endless family drama is a good enough excuse. I had a brain shutdown today and just played Stardew Valley for hours. Tomorrow after work I expect the same...though I may set aside even 20 or 30 minutes to write SOMETHING. It’s hard to focus but I always feel better after I do it.
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