#i just. feel gross and bad and awful and wish i could forget that dream

[princesable]

wwait please do tell ur issues with omori if u feel like it. as a somewhat omori enjoyer (<omocat sucks) i wanna see others' opinions as well

ok on my puter here u go. im not gonna write out like. an essay im just gonna list things out in bullet points because thats easier for me so sorry if this is hard to read/understand. quick side note i've played this game around 3 times because i love showing it to people so they can get mad about it with me. i feel like this is important because ive like. actually played the game and not pulling all of this out of a cut down letsplay (also just so no one gets mad at me i pirated it) but also my memory is awful. i am planning to play it again and actively take notes so i can write something more coherent. also putting it under a read more because i didnt realize how much i had to say about this

the story sucks tbh. like its an interesting concept that could have been done in an extremely impactful way but i felt nothing. like i didnt care about mari and i didnt care about sunny because he had like. no personality outside of "silent main character everyone likes". like if you dont care about mari the whole story falls apart. it relies very heavily on you caring about the two of them which is FINE but they do a really bad job of making me actually give a shit.

hero got like fucking nothing in the story and that bothers me like. outside of sunny we should have seen how mari's death impacted him the most because. you know. THEY WERE DATING? but we never get to spend time with hero. like all he is is "the nice one" i wish we got to see. anything with him but i swear they just weren't allowed to have him express emotions that werent extremely mild or something. actually now that i think about it it feels like hero was an after thought in like. everything. his dream word ability is barely used and when it is it feels like anyone could have done it. have it literally just be that he can flip switches is stupid. you could remove hero from the game and it would impact nothing.

AUBREYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY the church confrontation scene was like. GENUINELY GOOD? and then after that they just forget to do anything with her. like it pisses me off how that scene was actually good and the only part that genuinely got me to feel anything and then she just gets nothing. like her "bully" scenes are pretty good and i genuinely sympathized with her but it kind of felt like. you werent supposed to? idk if that makes sense because you totally WERE supposed to feel bad for aubrey but having the kel high fives directly after multiple scene where you make her cry felt so. fucking weird. maybe that was the point idk. aubrey's my favorite character i wish omocat knew how to write

SPEAKING OF KEL. I REALLY REALLY DONT LIKE HOW THE GAME TREATS HIM. he's supposed to be the comic relief but like. EVERY joke is either "kel is gross/stupid" or "aubrey is mean to him for no fucking reason" and it gets old really fast because he's just a kid??? like him and aubrey are just mean to each other thats their whole thing which is FINE i GUESS but its not funny?? its just incredibly mean spirited and not fair to him as a character. why couldnt he have just been silly without the game seemingly hating him for trying to have fun. like most of his moveset is based around being annoying its. its weird man idk. also the fact this is a fucking item in the game

when i got this for the first time i put my head in my fucking hands man this sucks.

Basil. basil could have been an EXTREMELY interesting character but hes just so. whiny. it gets old really fast. the final fight with him was pretty good i guess. i dont have much to say about him sadly because i just like. dont remember. nothing with him stuck with me. OH WAIT the black space bit where you repeatedly kill him in extremely gruesome ways was. kind of fucking weird. because hes 10. it was unnecessary like if you REALLY wanted the fact that sunny is trying so hard to repress anything that reminds him of what he did to be represented through basil dying you could have just done it a couple times idk. weird scene.

ok moving on from characters the art is. a lot. its very hard to tell the dream world party members apart because omocat just has really bad same fact syndrome, it doesnt help that they all have the same color palettes. speaking of color palettes why do the overworld sprites white wash kel and hero. its less noticeable with hero but like. come on man its not hard to color pick your own art

still on the art the fact everything moves is fun in concept but REALLY distracting in execution. theres been multiple fights (specifically sweetheart, the king crawler and humphrey) where i've gotten awful headaches and had to take a break because i felt sick from all the movement lol. also the animation for releasing energy does NOT help who thought making the screen shake that much was a good idea dear god. like seriously this game needs to have some kind of warning

using sweetheart as an excuse to talk about how the dream world its such a fucking slog. i UNDERSTAND the point is that sunny is doing everything in his power to not reach the truth so he creates roadblocks but oh my goddddddd its so annoying to constantly have the plot take a backseat so we can go to a wedding or go to a casino or GO IN THAT STUPID FUCKING WHALE. the fact that there is a fucking mod that removes the humphrey segment should say enough. like that part in particular was soooooo fucking bad. its so boring. the humphrey fight has THREE FUCKING PHASES. I DONT KNOW WHO THOUGHT THAT WAS A GOOD IDEA BUT THEY SHOULD BE KILLED. ITS AN AWFUL EXPERIENCE

the emotion system is an interesting idea but i wish they did more with it. once you figure out that everyone has one theyre best with you stop playing with them. it stopped being fun to battle because its just make aubrey angry -> make sunny sad -> make kel happy -> have hero do fucking nothing -> hit them. idk maybe they could have had like. special emotions for boss fights?? im not sure how that'd work but i wish they added little twists every now and then to keep all the battles from feeling the same.

the real world isnt much better honestly. all the aubrey shit made me angry and the battles are so weirdly unfair its just not fun. like it doesnt penalize you for losing real world battles but its like. idk they suck. also the fact it doesnt tell you food doesnt heal you in the real world fucked me up when i first played because i was so used to the dream world i spent all my money on soda and then spent the entirety of the real world on like 1 hp i cant add spoilers on tumblr so animal harm/death and suicide warning for this next part. if you dont want to read that theres nothing else after it so youre good to just stop reading now

i dont like the black space. like i briefly went over it in the basil segment but it left such a bad taste in my mouth. especially the part where you are seemingly "forced" to cut your fucking cat open as it begs you to free it and the only way to not hurt it is to kill yourself?? ok.

speaking of which the fact the only way to leave the dream world and wake up is to kill yourself complete with a little sound effect is weird to me. idk man omori is 10 im not exactly keen on watching a child kill himself several times.

honestly the games handling of suicide is gross to me. obviously i dont think you should never talk about suicide i think its a very important topic but they way its handled in omori is almost. glorified? idk if that the right word. omori/sunny can kill himself so many times in this game and i just found that a little weird. also basil can kill himself and you can see his body just. sitting there. ok im running out of writing steam if i think of anything else i'll make another post or you have any follow up questions let me know im gonna go watch scott the woz

#charlie moment

[moemammon]

When I was in High School, my crush and I got into a fight and neither of us were talking to each other. One day I was headed up the stairwell to get to my science class, when I saw them coming up from behind... I don't think they had even noticed me yet considering that they were busy talking to their friend BUT I am slow going up stairs so even if I rushed up the stairs roadrunner style they would have caught up to me, well; the little corner that connects the steps going up to the second floor and the steps heading down to the ground floor had a large open window... and I jumped out, like I literally just jumped out. I didn't even think it through, I just saw the window and my body was like "Yep, IK what to do." I landed on a bush or tree? It's too big to call a bush but too small to call a tree, landed in a squat before my feet gave out and I fall onto my knees and got two large grass stains on my jeans knee part, couldn't walk right either after that landing, I was shaky all day lol but it was a risk well calculated bc the whole thing would have been so awkward. I mean we used to be like BFFS before the rumors began and then they started and we just stopped talking without warning, we couldn't even look at each other. Our science partners, bc we were in groups of four, literally got fed up of our bullshit bc we literally refused to acknowledge the others existence... anyway, I digress...

Anyway, this whole story is a long winded way of me requesting how the brothers would react to an MC that literally just jumps out windows to avoid awkward moments, or to dodge people that want to ask them for favors, or when they straight up want to avoid someone?

And sorry about the large ass message, but thanks for letting me vent

You have a special place in my heart, window-jumping anon. Just uhhhhhhh look down next time okay? Ily

The Demon Brothers react to GN!MC jumping out of a window to avoid an awkward moment

(Mario jumping sound effect)

Lucifer

He approached you after class to ask exactly what you were snickering at your D.D.D. about during class.

Must've been real funny if you weren't listening to your lecture, huh?

"I imagine you've somehow found something worthy of laughing about in Demonology 101?"

You do not have the guts to tell him that you and Mammon were texting back and forth, abusing a new photo editing app to alter pictures of the eldest himself.

I mean, take a wild guess about how he’d react to seeing how big you edited his head to be-

The avatar of pride lets his eyes pierce into you, like he's trying to stare a hole through your blanket of "uh"s and "um"s,

You don't exactly see a way out of this one, but you can NOT let Lucifer see your photo gallery.

So you glance to your left to the open classroom window, and do the only thing you can think of: you jump.

Luckily you're on the ground floor so you??? really didn't have to jump so dramatically. But the fact that you yeeted yourself into a bush JUST to escape has left Lucifer speechless.

Honestly? He so impressed with your dedication that he's not gonna stop you. Besides, he's gonna see you back at home anyway so-

Also thinks you might be hanging around Mammon too much because that 100% seems like a stunt he’d pull.

Mammon

GIVE GOLDIE BACK RIGHT NOW

He KNOWS Lucifer told you to bring the credit card to him, and he demands to know where it's hidden! He's positive you know where it is!

But you don't really though?? You just brought the card to him like you were asked. If anything, you're the victim here!

But Mammon isn't having that. The avatar of greed is circling around you like an angry cat, patting you all over like airport security to see if you've got his beloved card.

"Where is it, huh?! Ya really think you can steal from THE Mammon?! Even if Lucifer told ya to, who do ya think you are?!"

When he has confirmed that you don't in fact have his previous Goldie, he's now cornering you up against a wall.

If looks could kill, you would've exploded into a fine powder

And you feel like your mental strength is about to do just that. So what do you do after you notices the slightest of breezes caress your face?

You jump outta that open window, before Mammon can even finish his "Wh- Oi! What're ya-"

Even though you just face planted into the garden, you're up on your feet and making a mad dash for somewhere that wasn't here.

Mammon lets you run for ten while seconds before he's hopping out after you. You think you can outfox the Great Mammon?! Think again!!!

Levi

You... weren't interested in this movie in the slightest, but you didn't have the heart to tell Levi that. Especially not after he’d begged/harassed you for the past week about watching it with him!

Reluctantly you agreed, and now you were suffering,,,But Levi was ecstatic! This movie was a classic! Sure it was an old one and the acting was a little bad, but you could overlook that if you watched it with your heart, not your eyes!

According to Levi.

You managed to keep your eyes open for the grueling one and a half hour movie, enduring every corny line of bad acting, horrible CGI, and lame sound effects straight out of a 90s super hero movie, and now the hell was finally over...

Or so you though, until Levi followed that up by immediately pulling out a cosplay outfit worn by one of the supporting characters in the show.

Funny how it seemed specifically tailored to your measurements. Even funnier how Levi was looking at you with those damned eyes.

You knew what he wanted without him even having to say it. But one look at the gaudy outfit he presented to you made your heart burn with a sudden indescribable urge.... to escape.

Honestly you caught him so off guard by suddenly getting up and sprinting out of the room, that he makes a sound that's pretty much the noise equivalent of "?!?!?!?!?!?"

He watches you run down to the end of the hall, throw the window open, and fuckin JUMP. Pretty sure he just witnessed your death??

Also this kinda solidified his 'gross otaku' mentality, seeing as you literally jumped out of a window to get out of cosplaying with him. A simple no would've sufficed, MC.......,.,,..,,,

Hey gamers... can we get an F in the chat? 😔✌️💦

Satan

Satan lent you a book to read last week that he was sure you'd be interested in! He found it pretty interesting himself, so he wants to see if you'd like it as much as he did.

That being said, you don't have the heart to tell him that you,,, didn't read any of it. Well you kind of did, if the cover counts for anything.

You doubt he would accept that as an answer, considering how you told him how much you appreciated receiving the book, and how you'd definitely read it and let him know how it was.

So now, Satan had come into your room with two cups of tea, ready to settle down and have a nice, long talk about your thoughts on the riveting plot that you promised you would indulge in.

"I'm really glad you decided to read it. I found that the protagonist reminded me a lot like you. I'd like to know what you thought about it."

Satan sets down the tea cups, and one sip tells you that he brewed it exactly the way you like.

His expression is eager and warm as he waits for you to begin gushing about just how deeply the story touched you... how absolutely moved you are by the sheer majesty that was the book he lent you...

Okay yeah, you're sweating bullets. You can't imagine how the sparkly eyed avatar of wrath would react to learning that you chose the company of your D.D.D. over Satan's book.

You don't have such an ice cold hard that you can just crush this book nerds dreams like that! And every time you look at his expectant face, the weight of your crimes weigh heavier on you until... you break.

Satan watches in shock and awe as you almost perfectly reenact the big scene where the main character leaps out of the window of a building rigged to explode, before making their escape. And you did just that.

Wow.. he never thought you could be so moved by a story, but he completely understands...

Asmo

How many outfits, Asmo. HOW MANY OUTFTITS WILL IT TAKE TO APPEASE YOU?

He's made you model TWELVE outfits so far, and you swear if you see another ascot, you're gonna lose your mind.

Asmodeus doesn't seem to notice the way the light slowly fades from your eyes, because he's pulling out outfit number thirteen with that cheery smile of his.

"Isn't this one absolutely adorable? Look, this part will look lovely around your waist! This part here hugs your body in all the right places, and this-"

You can't do it. You've gotta get out of here. You'd love to stand around and get mild rug burn from trying on a billion different clothes, but-

Actually no you wouldn't.

You DID promise Asmo you'd hang out with him today, but this wasn't really your idea of a good time.

"-Oooh, just thinking about it makes me want to eat you up~! Here, put it on for me, will you? I'll give you a kiss as a reward!"

You would do no such thing.

You make a mad dash for his ornate window and push it open. He has no time to stop you as he helplessly watches you vault yourself out like the room was on fire.

"MC?! Wh-where are you going?? Come back here! Grass stains are impossible to get out of that fabric!!!"

Beel

He means well. I swear he does. It's just that Beel can be a little... overbearing when he's worried about you. He cares, okay?

But he hasn't seen you eat anything all day! You tell him it's because you've got a stomach ache from who knows what, and you promise you've had little snacks here and there to keep from starving, but he can't accept that!

Eating is important, and you need it to survive. So Beelzebub was currently trying to nudge your mouth open with a pizza slice, while you vehemently refused. "Just one bite. And then another after that. You have to eat, or you'll go hungry... and I don't want that."

Beel knows the true pain of being hungry, and he’d never wish that on you! So just forget about your stomach ache for two seconds and open up-

Not that you really can. The aroma of that pizza was not sitting well on your stomach, and you were pretty sure you needed a fast escape or you'd risk losing your lunch. Greasy foods didn't exactly mix well with sour stomachs...

Beel still won't let up. He has a strong hand planted firmly on the small of your back, as if trying to prevent you from leaning back any further in your attempt to escape the pizza.

"If you eat this, I'll treat you to dessert at Madam Screams," he says, as if bribing your refusal of food USING food will somehow work out.

You can't break his heart, but you seriously can't eat that! Your head is spinning, thoughts racing, face becoming greasier and greasier from the pizza pressed against it, and-

You snap. In a sudden burst of strength you break free from Beel's grasp, and sprint toward the nearest window. All you see is your chance for freedom, and you're taking it.

You leap out and tumble into the ground, all while Beelzebub wonders what?? Just happened???? Did you really hate pizza that much...?

He never knew you were such a picky eater... To think you'd go so far as to jump out of the window though...

Belphie

You thought it was cute at first, when Belphegor wanted you to join him for his naps. And you didn't mind much. It was the weekend, you were tired, and he makes a pretty good body pillow.

But you didn't realize he planned for this to become an everyday thing. The youngest might not act it, but he sure could be spoiled.

But seriously, if you slept any longer, you might never have a normal sleep schedule again! It never occurred to you just how often Belphie sleeps.

He's definitely not human, because there's no way you can keep up with that, and maintain a normal lifestyle.

But the way he quietly, gently grabs your sleeve to cue your next nap session makes your heart clench. Why was it so damned hard to say no to this gremlin??

You were trying your best though, but the words always seemed to get caught in your throat. Belphie picked apart your excuses, doing everything in his power to take you back to the attic.

"You can study when you wake up." "Mammon wants to go shopping? Reschedule." "Lucifer told you not to be late to the board meeting? Just hide."

You're starting to get sucked into the sleepy lull of his voice, and it feels like your entire body is becoming heavy with fatigue. But no.... you resist!

Since there's no escaping this through words, you have to think fast. Fortunately, your fast thinking has led to an amazing solution!

Jump out of the window, baby

Belphie is just??? Did you fuckin???? Are your legs okay??????????????

He probably stops asking you to nap with him for a while, since you're willing to almost break your legs just to get out of it. You're gonna make him have weird dreams....

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me mammon #shall we date obey me #obey me beel #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #mammon #obey me belphie #obey me! #obey me! levi #obey me! satan #obey me! belphegor #obey me lucifer #obey me levi #obey me satan #obey me Asmo #obey me asmodeus #obey me! shall we date? #shall we date? #shall we date #shall we date? obey me! #shall we date om #om swd #om shall we date #obey me! beelzebub #obey me mc #list

[edenmemes]

invincible (show) starters

❝ you're awful calm about it. ❞ ❝ don’t pretend you do this because you care. ❞ ❝ you take bullets like a champ and don’t whine about it. ❞ ❝ don’t beat yourself up. i would’ve done the same thing. ❞ ❝ i wanna do what you do. i wanna be just like you. ❞ ❝ listen to what i’m saying. you know in your heart i’m right. ❞ ❝ you stared down your demons, and you...you conquered them. ❞ ❝ you’re incredible, and you make me want to be a better person. ❞ ❝ i’m strong enough, and i can do this! ❞ ❝ i should have prepared you better. your life has been soft and painless. ❞ ❝ that’s the tricky part of the job, balancing what you wanna do, with what you need to do. ❞ ❝ i’m still working on my one-liners, but that one is really bad. ❞ ❝ do you want to talk about yesterday?     you look like you need to talk about yesterday. ❞ ❝ i didn’t...i didn’t mean to hit you so hard. i’m sorry. ❞ ❝ hey, don’t walk away from me. ❞ ❝ no, i don’t trust you. not anymore. you broke that. ❞ ❝ it’s natural to doubt yourself, but if you can push through that, and do what needs to be done, you’ll do just fine. ❞ ❝ what the hell has gotten into you? ❞ ❝ what’s dumb is how long i’ve been putting up with your bullshit. ❞ ❝ i’m actually getting used to this a little. ❞ ❝ okay. i guess that still counts as a landing. ❞ ❝ don’t try to change the subject. ❞ ❝ everyone else is fine. concerned about you, but fine. ❞ ❝ i feel gross. i’m taking a shower. ❞ ❝ don’t try to talk. you’re going to be okay. you’re safe now. ❞ ❝ if you don’t have anything else to say, you need to leave. ❞ ❝ you think you might have bitten off more than you can chew? ❞ ❝ this is the beginning of a long journey for you and me. ❞ ❝ i don’t think you’re ready. ❞ ❝ i thought it might have been a dream...i wish it were. ❞ ❝ i wouldn't be able to live with myself if i didn't make things as right as they can be. ❞ ❝ look, if this is too much, just say so. ❞ ❝ i can’t begin to explain the devastation, the pain...the loss. ❞ ❝ this is what i want. you and me, here. together. ❞ ❝ you don't still have a concussion or something you haven't told me about, do you? ❞ ❝ pathetic. this battle is beneath me. there is no honor in killing insects. ❞ ❝ you’re just gonna keep prying if i’m evasive at all, so, um...i’m scared. ❞ ❝ does that make you feel strong?     to know i can’t physically make you do something? ❞ ❝ honey, it’s the middle of the night. ❞ ❝ sometimes, i forget how beautiful this planet can be. ❞ ❝ my apologies. didn’t mean to scare. ❞ ❝ how could someone who promised to keep us safe, to protect us against any threat, become that threat? ❞ ❝ a little trust goes a long way. actions go further. ❞ ❝ can we do that again? start over? ❞ ❝ i haven’t figured out anything. i don’t know who i am, who i’m supposed to be... ❞ ❝ i didn’t want to do it...but it had to be done. ❞ ❝ i love you, man, but i need someone else to talk to. ❞ ❝ i came out here because i needed to start over, but that doesn’t mean ignoring the world when it needs me. ❞ ❝ it’s like i’m hollow inside. nothing seems real. ❞ ❝ i know you’re not okay, but do you want to talk about it? ❞ ❝ okay, stop. enough with the sulking, you big baby. ❞ ❝ i got everything i ever wanted, and i messed it all up. ❞ ❝ you have no idea how much i needed to hear you say that. ❞ ❝ you still feel something’s wrong. don’t you? ❞ ❝ from the sounds of it, i’m the one who should be apologizing. ❞ ❝ who do you think they’re gonna believe? me or you? ❞ ❝ demons know evil when they see it. ❞ ❝ you’re ruining my childhood, and that’s hard because it already sucked. ❞ ❝ if we can die and any time, we can drink at any time. ❞ ❝ can we...talk about something else? ❞ ❝ fly away, or take the stairs. i really don’t give a shit. ❞ ❝ i've been an asshole, and i’m sorry i didn’t realize that sooner, but that all stops today. ❞ ❝ huh. that is a strangely non-specific story. ❞ ❝ mistakes were made, but everything’s back on track. ❞ ❝ i feel like i’m standing on the edge of a cliff, and i’m the only one of us who can’t fly. ❞ ❝ you’ve been talking about home. you never talk about home. ❞ ❝ i don’t know if i could do that. leave everything behind. ❞ ❝ and what if the greatest me isn’t enough? ❞ ❝ you’re hiding something from me, and it hurts. ❞ ❝ i’ve heard so much about you. ❞ ❝ you expect me to worship you because of it. ❞ ❝ you’ve been distant, annoyed at everything, and you’ve been mean. ❞ ❝ along the way, you’re gonna need to do things you don’t want to do, or might not think you can do. ❞ ❝ first thing: stay out of sight unless something goes wrong. ❞ ❝ as much as i’d love to help with your very special crisis, i’ve got my own crap to deal with now. ❞ ❝ look, i screwed up. i know i did, i just...i just, i don’t know why i keep doing this. ❞ ❝ i take back everything i said about you before, and i said a lot. ❞ ❝ or what? are you threatening me? ❞ ❝ we have...responsibilities that normal humans don’t. ❞ ❝ try to hit me. ❞ ❝ after everything they’ve done, how can i possibly live up to all that? ❞ ❝ i’m more like you. i’m nothing special. ❞ ❝ you barely remember anything you don’t see in the mirror every morning. ❞ ❝ if you really wanna do what i do, you have to be prepared for anything. ❞ ❝ don’t look down...stop looking down! ❞ ❝ if you’re up for it, i’ll make some time tomorrow for training. ❞ ❝ i...had a pretty interesting day. ❞ ❝ no, you don’t! i know you think i can’t do this! ❞ ❝ it wasn’t too much, i could take the pain. ❞ ❝ how’s everyone else? or was i the only loser who got the shit kicked out of them? ❞ ❝ i thought you two hated each other with the burning fury of a thousand suns. ❞ ❝ every time i try to be a hero, i just make things worse. ❞ ❝ you said that you wanted to start over. you said that. you promised. ❞ ❝ i know it’s hard to love someone when they don’t seem to love you back. ❞ ❝ make the world you wanna live in. ❞ ❝ i'm not here to help. just here to make sure you don’t get hurt. ❞ ❝ shut it! i feel dirty even talking to you. ❞ ❝ i've faced death more times than i can count, but i’ll be damned if that didn’t put my balls in my throat. ❞ ❝ make sure you get a good night’s sleep. ❞ ❝ i’ve never done anything that hard in my life. ❞ ❝ you’ve had it rough, you know, but you’ve really pulled yourself together. ❞ ❝ you got a problem with a demon? i thought you were an atheist. ❞ ❝ don’t make me get the spray bottle. ❞ ❝ the world was fine before i came along. it’ll be fine without my help. ❞ ❝ i wasn’t ready before. now i am. ❞ ❝ i covered for you. told them you got hit by a bus which, by the looks of you, isn’t far off. ❞ ❝ forget this. we did our best, and we won. ❞ ❝ i’m twenty minutes late, but there’s no way you’re gonna be mad at me. ❞ ❝ one nightmare scenario is enough to worry about right now. ❞ ❝ that’s not blood on you, is it? ❞ ❝ do you need a replay on what happened last time, ass? ❞ ❝ i never thought i would have a family, and then you came along, and i love you so much. ❞ ❝ oh, ‘out’. every woman’s favourite destination for a romantic evening. ❞ ❝ hell, last time you sprained your back. ❞ ❝ one day, it seems like you have all the time in the world,     and then the next...it’s gone. ❞ ❝ kill that one and move on! ❞ ❝ i'm happy you’re awake. your recovery was...tenuous at times. ❞ ❝ just got...a lot on my mind, i guess. ❞ ❝ what are you thinking? you look ridiculous. ❞ ❝ i need something to punch. ❞ ❝ iit changed my life. i know it changed yours, too. ❞ ❝ you make me sound like a monster. ❞ ❝ it may not look like much, but you did far more damage there than you needed. ❞ ❝ you are big and strong, aren’t you? ❞ ❝ i know you’re crazy about me. ❞ ❝ i can take it from here. too dangerous for you. ❞ ❝ we’re gonna be fine. we’ll get out of this. ❞ ❝ please, you couldn’t just sit this one out? ❞ ❝ you just take all the time you need. ❞ ❝ i don’t know what just happened, but i think i speak for everyone here when i say i never want it to happen ever again! ❞ ❝ um...thanks for saving my butt back there. ❞ ❝ i’m here for you. whatever you need. you wanna talk, i’ll listen. ❞ ❝ i don’t know who you are, but it’s time to go. ❞ ❝ we’re keeping this all hush-hush for now, but news will break. ❞ ❝ please, don’t waste any more of my time. ❞ ❝ i said, no. you’re still injured. ❞ ❝ trust you? how could i possibly trust you now? ❞ ❝ every date should feel like a first date. ❞ ❝ i understand what it’s like for the world to look at you and see one thing, never knowing the truth of what’s inside. ❞ ❝ look what they need to mimic a fraction of our power. ❞ ❝ this isn’t your world. it’s theirs. ❞ ❝ you saved him...so much effort, for what? ❞ ❝ there’s a lot of things i thought i knew about you. ❞ ❝ you’re terrified of me, aren’t you? ❞ ❝ this is my home and i won’t let you destroy it. ❞ ❝ we can finally do what we were meant to do. be who we were meant to be. ❞ ❝ this isn’t how i wanted to do this, but i don’t have a choice. ❞ ❝ someone’s controlling you! tell me how to stop them! ❞ ❝ what happens out there, the mistakes, even the victories, you can’t bring it home. ❞ ❝ didn’t mean to offend. nuance of human conversation is difficult for me. ❞ ❝ never get invited. show up anyway. ❞ ❝ it’s a rare, lucky few of us who find someone who understands our path, even rarer if they accept it. ❞ ❝ no matter what threat i faced, i knew i wasn’t facing it alone. ❞ ❝ get out! before i send you back to hell myself. ❞ ❝ you don’t seem to understand. earth isn’t yours to conquer. ❞ ❝ i love you, but, man, sometimes, you’ve got a screw loose. ❞ ❝ i already told you everything i remember. ❞ ❝ this is why i have always hated you. ❞ ❝ everyone you know and love will be gone before you even look 30. ❞ ❝ hold on, i just wanna...i wanna talk! ❞ ❝ sometimes people aren’t who they appear to be. ❞ ❝ this is your life now. this is what you do. ❞ ❝ could you define ‘not that tough’? ❞ ❝ admirable intention, but i am not positive we can handle this. ❞ ❝ it’s okay. it’s okay, i’m here. are you hurt? ❞ ❝ i’d say i’d see you in hell, but there’s a worse place waiting for you. ❞ ❝ we gave people time to escape. that’s what matters. ❞ ❝ your voice is like music. i hang on every word. ❞ ❝ your stubborness against the inevitable killed those people. ❞ ❝ you tread on dangerous ground, my friend. ❞ ❝ did seeing that man lose his life disturb you? ❞ ❝ how does it feel to save the world? ❞ ❝ stop, please. i’m not here to fight. ❞ ❝ you don’t understand the choices i have to make. ❞ ❝ i’m not an idiot. i know when someone’s lying. ❞ ❝ oh...you’re...you’re out for revenge. ❞ ❝ how many more need to die? it’s up to you. ❞ ❝ you can’t do this hero bullshit on your own. ❞ ❝ am i important to you? it really doesn’t feel like it. ❞ ❝ you only see good and evil. black and white. ❞ ❝ ithat was amazing, but also the scariest thing i’ve ever seen. ❞ ❝ it’s kind of like peeing your pants on purpose. ❞ ❝ i did actually help people. not sure how grateful they were, but whatever. ❞ ❝ please don’t lose interest in me while i’m gone. ❞ ❝ when you start a sentence with ‘i think’, you murder 90% of the romance in it. ❞ ❝ it’s all i ever wanted for as long as i remember. ❞ ❝ you wanna be a hero, right? fame, glory, get the pretty gal? ❞ ❝ kids your age think they’re invincible and it holds them back, makes them careless. ❞ ❝ don’t you do enough for the world? ❞ ❝ i can’t imagine what you’re going through. ❞ ❝ it’ll be worth the wait to see me on my best behavior. ❞ ❝ i'm wasting my potential here. i could so so much more. ❞ ❝ you said you wanted to tell me months ago, but you’re still not telling me now. ❞ ❝ oh, i know. you’re confused, but you’re used to that. ❞ ❝ no, no, what about you? ❞ ❝ all human failings are simply engineering challenges crying out to be solved. we're machines, and the sooner we recognize that, the sooner we'll reach our true potential. ❞ ❝ once again, it seems you have an opinion to share? ❞ ❝ you can’t save the world. it’s gonna get you killed. ❞ ❝ huh. i thought you’d try and talk me out of it. ❞ ❝ i don’t want to lie to you, but i don’t want to tell you the truth either. ❞ ❝ lots of people are going to tell you how to use your powers, but it’s up to you to make these decisions. ❞ ❝ if i didn’t know better, i’d say you’re trying to get rid of me. ❞ ❝ that...sounds like a commitment to a second date? ❞ ❝ i’m a little jumpy. maybe you can understand that. ❞ ❝ don’t you dare shush me. ❞ ❝ i’m sorry. i must have pinched a nerve. i forget how soft humans are. ❞ ❝ never seen anything like this. ❞ ❝ it’s impressive, but, like, who needs that many rooms? ❞ ❝ when in doubt, throw them into space. ❞ ❝ i want to see fear in your eyes. ❞ ❝ i think you might have skipped a few steps. ❞ ❝ i mean, can a person even have an eight pack? ❞ ❝ you make it sound like i am obsessed or something. ❞ ❝ haven’t you earned a day off? ❞

#roleplay meme #roleplay starters #rp meme

[stayarmytinyzenmoa-l]

Locked and Reloaded [Ch. 5]

Marvel AU

TW: Language, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Blood, Gun Violence, Implied Abusive Household

Genre: Action, Light Comedy, Angst

Pairing: NCT Dream x Reader

YN Pronouns: Female (She/Her)

(5/?) [First] | [Previous] | [Next]

[Main Masterlist] | [Locked and Reloaded Masterlist]

Word Count: 6.5K

Notes: It’s about time these members entered the story. I’m dropping this now instead of a Saturday upload because I’m getting my second dose of vaccine in about nine hours, and from how both of my parents reacted something tells me that I’m going to be incapacitated for the next two days, so I decided to finish this bad boy up now! Currently next on my list to work on is Infatuation, so I’ll see you in that update!

Disclaimer: Please remember that this is an AU and a work of fiction, obviously the idols mentioned/written about in this story would never partake in or condone these actions. I would never wish any of these actions to occur to the Idol(s) mentioned in the writings of these stories, nor do I wish any harm on them.

“That’s stupid,” you told your older brother. Baekhyun just laughed. You had just finished ranting to him how a majority of the premise of chemistry was ridiculous, being founded on one key theory that could be amended at any moment, something now set in stone or put to law. It was a theoretical science that clashed with the lawfulness of physics and the puzzle of biology. “Chemistry is literally the weakest link.”

“I don’t quite think so, songbird,” the nickname was sweet in his voice, it was one you had had for as long as you could remember. He leans against your desk and he points at the picture. “It’s just atomic theory.”

“Yeah, and it’s stupid. Imagine, all of this work, all seven hundred of these pages and countless other books could get proved incorrect if someone disproves it.”

“You read this entire textbook and that’s all you have to say about it?” Baekhyun raised his eyebrow and crossed his arms. “Wah, you’re so amazing and you don’t even know it,” he hugged your head to his stomach and you pushed him away.

“Ew, you’re so gross,” you wiped the sweat from your face. “At least shower before coming into my room! You’re disgusting when you use the gym.”

“And miss my darling sister? No way, that and I came to congratulate you!” He points at the certificate on your desk just under your coffee mug. “Not every day you win the science fair… again.”

“Yeah, yeah, thanks,” you put a textbook over it. He was right, but it was hardly an achievement for you at this point, it was an expectation.

“What did you do this year?” None of them even showed up, the only person there to help you with your project was Jeno, but he was always there whether you liked it or not.

“You don’t know?”

“I was at the conference, remember?”

“Oh, right,” you sighed. “It was just an observation on bees.”

“Whoa! Bees are great! They’re so helpful for pollination, for honey, and so much more!” Baekhyun smiles. “Hey, your birthday’s coming up, right? Fourteen? Oh god, oh no, my songbird? A teen? I don’t think I can handle this.”

“You’re overreacting! It’s not like I’m going to be any different. Plus, I’m already a teen.”

“Oh, (Y/N), you have no idea. Thirteen is the one year free trial before you start having to pay to be a teen. Once you turn fourteen, ugh, I don’t even know how to say this,” Baekhyun fake cries and wipes away the invisible tears. “It’ll be like you’re a whole different person.”

“Stop that! Why are you acting so weird?” You laughed and turned to him. Baekhyun crossed his arms over his chest and your smile dropped. You knew that look on his face better than anyone. “You’re leaving again, aren’t you?”

“Yeah, I leave tonight,” he says.

“How long?”

“Maybe a week this time, dad wants to show me the properties over in Zone 8.”

“Seriously? What for?” The factories that far out from the city were nearly ghost factories, they just handled building the smaller removable parts of the weapons your father developed. You couldn’t think of a possible reason why Baekhyun would have to go out that far.

“I have no clue, maybe he just wants me to see the Byun system at a smaller scale,” Baekhyun sighs. “Will you be okay here?”

“Will I be okay here? Don’t make me laugh,” you slammed your textbook shut and stared at him. “She hates me.”

“Don’t say that.”

“She does! You’ve seen the way she talks to me when you’re not around, Baek, I genuinely think that woman wants to get rid of me.”

“She’s your mother.”

“No, she’s your mother.” You didn’t mean for it to come out as accusing as it did. But you could genuinely say that you never felt anything from her aside from the obvious disdain she must have held for you. But what could you do? You’d hate you too. If one day your husband showed up at your doorstep with a kid you didn’t recognize telling you to treat her as if she was your own, you’d despise that child’s existence. All you were was proof of infidelity, and your stepmother made that very clear. You were her daughter on paper alone, but in reality, you were nothing more than a freeloader. “I’m just the bastard kid from dad’s mistress.”

“Do not,” Baekhyun held a finger up and stared at you with an intensity you’ve never seen on his face before. Seriousness wasn’t something that Baekhyun often used, especially around you. “Do not ever reduce yourself to that. Do you understand? You are so much more than that and you can’t let anyone who says that to you bring you down, you cannot let that weigh on you. Who even told you that?”

“She did. Who else?”

“God…” Baekhyun looked away and huffed. He held his hand to his forehead and sighed. “Keep in touch with me, okay? Just one more year and I can take it to court.”

“Forget it, Baek,” you waved your hand. “It would never work. We have no proof.”

“Well,” Baekhyun pressed his lips together and placed a tape in front of you.

“A tape? Seriously?”

“Don’t hate on old tech, they’re still around for a reason. I have a walkman in my room, second drawer on my desk. Listen to it later, okay?”

“Yeah, okay,” you placed the tape in your own drawer, out of sight and out of mind.

“Just wait for me, alright?”

“Yeah.”

“(Y/N), I’m serious.”

“I know.”

“I’ll be back, okay?”

“Okay, just go, dad’s probably waiting for you,” you opened your textbook again and stared at the passages on it. You had a really bad feeling about tonight, but you couldn’t quite place your finger on it.

“Love you, songbird.”

“I know.”

~

“Sungchan! Four o’clock!” You shouted towards the agent. Sungchan, moving a second too late was met with the spine of a book to his face, promptly knocking him out. “Aw, geez,” you shoved your bag under a table, hoping that it would be somewhat okay after the fight, and threw a metal tray, the circular object blocking one of the flying weapons from hitting Shotaro on his way to Sungchan.

“Thank you!” He shouts. He leans next to his best friend and tries to wake him up while the fight continued.

“I’ll try to keep you guys covered, but you might need to fill in for me eventually, Reaper’s not doing too good over there,” you stumbled over to the two and handed Shotaro one of the pillows from the couch. “Is he okay?”

“Yeah, just knocked out, but I have to watch him just in case… you know.”

“I do, just make sure he’s fine.”

With Jeno’s sudden appearance the Sanctum became a new battleground. Ancient artifacts were being used left and right for battle, whether they were used correctly or not, and with incoherent shouts filling the previously calm room. Strange was doing his best to prevent anything potentially world-threatening from happening, the Sorcerer Supreme understanding the laws of the universe, as well as any of you did, while the Maverick worked to bring down Vulture. The surprise attack rendered them at an unfortunate disadvantage. Strange was more concerned with keeping the battle within the Sanctum than he was helping any of you out, which was entirely understandable.

“I got it!” Peter shoved back the bookcase that was about to fall on you.

“Thanks, Peter.”

“Just so you know I am so sorry I did not mean for any of this to happen I didn’t know.”

“Oh goodness, no hard feelings, Peter, it happens to the best of us,” you said to him. “There’s no way you could’ve known.”

“Thanks, (Y/N), that means a— Watch out!” He pushed you out of the way just as a shield lodged itself between you, you turned towards the source and saw Vulture, and you had to stop yourself from getting any more frustrated than you already are.

“Fucking hell,” you clapped your hands together and jogged in place. “Stretching before fights is good for you, Peter, don’t forget that,” you said to him. Then you saw Cap waving his hand. You pulled the shield from its spot and threw it back to him.

“Nice arm!”

“Don’t lose your shit!” You moved your head to the side just as a bullet whizzed past you. “And watch where you’re aiming!” You dodged another bullet as it ricocheted off of one of the metal artifacts of the Sanctum.

“I am,” Jaemin’s voice was steady despite the chaos. “Reaper!” Jaemin tossed one o the artifacts towards the other, particularly a sharp one, and Jeno drove it into the wall next to Vulture, just barely grazing the Follower. Vulture grabbed onto the back of Jeno’s neck, the razor claws on his hands emerging and sinking into the half-demon before Vulture slammed Jeno’s head through the wall.

“Urgh, I felt that,” you rubbed the back of your neck as the phantom pain shot through it. You quickly stepped back just as an eldritch whip snapped in front of you.

“Mr. Wong?!” Peter gasps.

“That one isn’t in our database,” Jaemin grabbed onto the whip as it went towards you again, ‘Wong’ staring at him with a slight confusion, to which Jaemin just tugged it away from the other’s hands, watching the concentrated energy dissipate.

“Well then add him later, dammit,” you charged towards Vulture but soon felt something wrap around your ankle. You looked at the portal next to your foot and the hand around it. “Ew! Oh my god!” You yanked it out of ‘Wong’s’ grasp and shot towards him, the bullets disappearing before they could get anywhere close. No wonder it was so fucking convenient, you hoped whoever the real Wong was and where he was currently wasn’t too horrible.

“We should name this guy,” Jaemin dodged the eldritch disk that nearly sliced his throat. “I’m thinking Frisbee.”

“Oh come on, let’s stay true to tradition and wait for Hyuck,” you pulled a sword from the suit of armor next to you and blocked the whip again. You turned the hilt in your hand and smiled. “Ooh, I like this. You know my ex used to be an expert fencer.”

“I almost forgot about that one,” Jaemin hums. “What’s with sleeping beauty over there?”

“Got hit in a face with a book.”

“Oh that’s good, one less bomb we have to worry about.”

“That’s rude,” you scolded him.

“Can someone help me over here?!” Jeno’s pissed off voice came from the office. He pushed himself up from the rubble and cracked his neck before his knuckles. “I’m going to kill this guy, fuck the Agreement.”

“Does the Agreement even apply this far out?” You asked. Jaemin pulled out his phone briefly. The Agreement was offered by the D98 Avengers, basically promising not to do any dimension altering things, but it was just a promise, nothing was set in stone and thus was lacking in any legality. It was a gentleman’s promise, so to say.

“Technically it doesn’t, D62 is far out of D98 bounds. And since none of the Avengers are here…” Jaemin let Jeno fill in the blanks himself.

“Good,” Jeno tapped his wrists together, a blood-red magic circle appearing between them.

“Wait, do you guys hear that?” You looked around while skillfully parrying evil Wong’s attacks.

“Hear what?” Shotaro was nursing the passed out Sungchan while blocking any projectiles that made their way towards him.

“It kind of sounds like screaming,” Jaemin furrowed his eyebrows.

“No, it sounds like… no, of all the members to send,” you groaned. Then the sound of doors crashing open accompanied the chaos that was the Sanctum while a familiar face ran in head first, literally, screaming his head off, and rams into Dr. Strange.

“I got this one, V! Don’t worry!” Chenle shouts.

“You idiot he’s on our side!” Jeno grabs a polearm from a nearby suit of armor and whacks it over Vulture’s head, the polearm breaking in half right after and really just pissing off the Follower more.

“Oh is he? Sorry!” Chenle detached himself from the sorcerer.

“Looks like we’ll be having a change in plans,” Strange murmured and disappeared from the room.

“Did the wizard just dip?!” You yelled.

“I think so!” Chenle yelled back, despite being right next to you.

“Why are you even here?!”

“We were talking to Fury when Jeno just fell into a sudden pool of blood! I followed your tracker here because I figured you’re in trouble. Be grateful!”

“I never said I wasn’t?!” You heard a pang next to you and turned to your side, a circular shield blocking your vision for only a brief moment before connecting with Other Wong’s abdomen.

“Thanks,” you nodded towards Steve.

“No problem,” he says. “But where’d that bullet come from?” Cap looks around the room. Jaemin rushes next to you and grabs something, pointing it upwards. Within a few moments, someone materializes next to him. A classic cloaking spell, of course, right when you needed it most.

“Monsieur,” her voice was hoarse.

“Lynx,” you saw him grimace while the woman drove a knife into Jaemin’s side and twisted it harshly. A loud groan left the man’s throat while you darted next to him and tackled the woman to the ground.

“I like your D62 version better!” You pressed your gun to her head and she threw you off before you could pull the trigger.

“Nat!?” Steve blocked another gunshot from her with his shield.

“Not Nat,” Bucky answers.

“Where have you been?”

“This thing’s still glowing,” Bucky held up the crystal.

“Give that to me!” Chenle appears next to them and grabs it. “You meaty idiots don’t know what to do with this.”

“Was that an insult?”

“Apperio!” Chenle ignored the Captain and chanted the charm, a magic circle appeared around the crystal. Following the ripple of two blue circles that expanded throughout the room, two more people appeared.

“There’s more of them?!” You shot Vulture in the leg. Before you were two other notorious members of the Elite. Arachnid, who you fought before, and Dead Shot, someone you were hoping not to run into in this dimension. “Someone get Parker out of here as soon as he touches Arachnid it’s over!” You shout.

“Oh please, I wouldn’t even try that. What good is this mission if any of us blow up the dimension while we’re at it,” Arachnid catches the flying dagger and flings it back towards Jaemin, who easily dodged it.

“We have orders to keep you alive, Vendetta, comply and the others will live,” Dead Shot spoke in his trademarked mechanical voice.

“Fuck that,” you pointed your gun at Arachnid and click. Click, click. “Well, this is awkward,” you chucked the magnum at Arachnid, the handle of the gun hitting the area between the mutant’s eyes and stunning him briefly, while Dead Shot released a flurry of bullets. You ran along the wall to dodge them, looking for something to shield yourself with now that Cap and Bucky were busy with Lynx, Jeno had Vulture busy, and Jaemin moved over to Arachnid so that Peter could handle Evil-Wong instead.

“Surrender or be forced to, Vendetta.”

“Well, shit,” you held a book in front of you while Dead Shot went through consecutive rounds.

“How could you not know a Follower was here?!” Jeno was pushed back next to you while deflecting Vulture’s attacks.

“How the hell was I supposed to know?! I didn’t even know that those three were here until a couple of minutes ago!”

“Are you kidding me?!”

“No, I’m not kidding you because if I was we wouldn’t be in this mess!”

“It has been thirty minutes! I let you and Jaemin go for thirty minutes and this happens!”

“In our defense,” Jaemin gets pushed back to the other side of you and clears his throat. “Peter brought us here.”

“I said I’m sorry!” Peter brushes off the embers on his suit. “Aw man, how am I going to explain this to Mr. Stark?”

“Explain? Have you been reporting us to him?!” You asked.

“Uh… no,” Peter’s phone goes off and he answers it. “Hi, Mr. Stark, there’s kind of a situation going on right now—”

“Tell them not to come here! If any of the other Followers show up it could tear the fabric of reality apart!” Chenle shouts. A magic circle appears under Peter’s phone and it short circuits. Chenle adjusts the watch around his wrist, a much larger magic circle appearing from it.

“Vocavi te ab umbris,” at the utterance of the words the shadows in the room gathered together to a much larger amalgamate. “Go, Vendetta, I’ll keep them handled.”

“Fuck,” you spotted your backpack, which was pushed up against the wall on the other side of the room.

“What now?” Jeno asks.

“Backpack.”

“What about it?”

“There’s something really important in there,” Jaemin sounded disappointed. “We could hole-in-one it, V.”

“We could,” you said. “But that risks shaking it up too much.

“Hot potato then?” Jeno offers.

“Who would start it?”

“The closest person is Shotaro, if he throws it far enough I could probably catch it,” Jeno says. “Pass it over to Jaemin.”

“Then I’ll pass it to you. But by then you need to be in that hallway,” Jaemin says.

“Got it, I can do that.”

“And if anything goes wrong?”

“Wing it.”

“We’re going to die in this dimension, aren’t we?” Jeno frowns.

“On the count of three, break,” Jaemin says, ignoring his best friend’s words. You hand Jeno the old sword, which he took without question. “One.”

“What do I need this for?”

“Well, I certainly don’t need it.”

“Two.”

“Wait, are we even on the same page?”

“I don’t know, are we?”

“Three!” Jaemin shoved you forward and you took off, dodging literally everything on your way to get out and probably get some more help.

“Shotaro! Pass me that backpack!” Jeno shouts over the gunshots. Shotaro perked up and grabbed the black bag, chucking it towards Jeno, who caught it easily. “Monsieur— Fuck, too far, Apollo! Pass this over to him!” Jeno tossed the backpack towards Chenle, the heavy bag slamming into the magician mid-spell.

“What the hell?!”

“Pass it here!” Jaemin knocked over Lynx and used her head the propel himself up and grab the backpack after Chenle threw it. He ran over towards you and threw it. Right as your hand grabbed the strap, it was yanked away from you.

“Fuck!” You looked back at who had it now, seeing your backpack in the hands of the last person who should have it. You were about the run over to him, but the bullet that landed too close for comfort reminded you that you had to leave now. “Arachnid has it!” You’d just have to put your trust into the three that were already here.

“Got it,” Jeno bashed his knee into Vulture’s head, finally incapacitating the Follower and switched targets. You turned around and ran into the hallway. You just had to call one of the other members to run over here with some extra materials. You hit the side of your phone, which only frizzed at the motion. Chenle must have jammed the signals to prevent more reinforcements from coming, great. You couldn’t run around forever, Dead Shot always hit his targets in the end, you continued down the hallway, not bothering to look back, but when you found yourself cornered against a hallway, you forced to figure out a solution. With the smell of smoke and the sounds of bullets hitting the ground— Wait a second. You looked down the hallway, bullets hitting metal and ricocheting towards you but never hitting any intended destination, there wasn’t even a bullet hole in sight, instead there were just empty shells on the ground. But in your analysis you failed to notice the stray bullet that was right in front of you. Then you saw someone’s closed fist in front of you.

“Did I get all of them?” He panted. He opened his hand and twelve bullets fell out of it.

“Oh my god, Mark, you’re just in time, I don’t remember you being this fast either,” you caught your breath and hugged the speedster, separating quickly. Mark pat down the smoke on his boots.

“I don’t think I’ve ever run that fast…” He stretches his back and kicks the bullet shells aside.

“How’d you even get here?”

“The sorcerer guy called Baekhyun and asked us to come right away. I had a feeling it wasn’t anything good so I came first, told them I’d scout the area. It’s a good thing I came, otherwise you’d look like Sponge-Bob…” He laughs awkwardly. “You’re at your quota, aren’t you?” He looks down at your feet. You followed his gaze and saw the rusted knife sticking out from it, then you noticed the bloody trail you left behind. You sighed and pulled the old thing out.

“Remind me to get a Tetanus shot.”

“You are at your quota,” he gasped.

“Can’t afford to possibly die right now,” you shook your head. “I thought since the dimension was far enough it’d get me some leeway, but I guess not,” you grimaced.

“Shit, it really is a good thing that I came just in time,” Mark looks over his shoulder. “Dead Shot should be on his way, you didn’t make it hard to find you.”

“Don’t smart-mouth me right now, Mark.”

“Right, yeah, sorry about that,” the speedster ruffled his blue hair and unzipped his jacket, pulling out a book from it. It was heavy, no doubt, leather-bound with metal embellishments around it. The book had lived through as many eons as it did dimensions. You had asked Mark to try to get it for you if he could, but nothing more than that. Better to leave him in blissful ignorance. “Look, I don’t have a lot of time to say this,” he says while he hands it to you.

“Just spit it out.”

“I was looking into that thing you asked me about and here, this is all I got,” he says. “Whatever you need it for it’d better be important, I almost got turned into a frog for it. The guy I got it from warned me not to read it though.”

“Why?”

“I dunno, something about corrupting the person who reads it.”

“Oh shit, I should have Jeno read it then.”

“True, you can’t corrupt a demon.”

“But then again he is only half.”

“Look, (Y/N), I only got you the book because you were so insistent on it. Just reassure me and tell me that you won’t do anything stupid with it.”

“I won’t, I won’t, I may be stupid but I’m not that stupid, Mark. When are the others coming?”

“I just gave them the signal to enter, they’ll be taking care of the Follower problem here in a bit. But you’re going to have to explain why you’re here to them, and I’m afraid that it might involve you revealing your identities this time.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Why else would you be in D62 being housed and paid by this dimension’s Avengers?”

“Fair enough—” you were cut off by the bullet grazing your ear and landing in the wall behind you. Another one rang out and Mark grimaced, holding his hand to his shoulder

“Argh! Come on!” He grunts. He puts a hand on your back and one behind your neck.

“Why?”

“Whiplash,” you blinked and suddenly found yourself back in the Avenger’s Compound.

“Mark, don’t you dare!”

“Sorry! Jeno’s orders! I’d rather a pissed off you than Jeno!”

“Mark, I swear if you zoom out of here—” but the speedster was already gone by the time you turned around. “Dammit!” You kicked the wall and winced immediately, you completely forgot that it was the same foot that had a knife driven through it earlier.

He was right, you’d reached your quota. There was a certain amount of times you were allowed to “die” until it would be too much, and you knew you’d be at this quota when your body would stop healing itself, it was getting ready for its original host to return. You just didn't think you’d reach it soon, and who knows until the number resets? It was always a varying number, and until it did you had to lay low. It was such a hassle that you always tried to avoid it, but coming to this dimension seemed to have expedited the whole thing. You heard a bag of chips drop behind you.

“(Y/N)? When did you get here?” Jisung stared at you while he picked up the bag.

“Mark.”

“Mark’s here? Where?” Jisung looks around.

“There was a complication at Dr. Strange’s place,” you limped towards him, he rushed over to you and reached for your hand to help you, but you tugged it away. “I’m fine.”

“Oh, okay,” Jisung gave you a little more space, but still walked next to you, sporting that easy-to-read concern. “Do they need help?”

“No. The Avengers are coming.”

“Oh… oh no,” Jisung caught onto why you were being short now. “Oh no, oh no, we won’t have a choice then.”

“No, we won’t,” you heaved the large book under your arm. Jisung looked at it but chose not to question you. “I’ll be in my room, I have a lot of thinking to do before we explain ourselves to the lapdogs so, if you need me, I’ll be in there,” Jisung says.

“Oi, (Y/N)!” Haechan held his hand up and Jisung furiously shook his head. Hyuck pressed on regardless. “Think you need this,” he waved the small box in his hand and you did a doubletake.

“Where did you get that?!” You rushed forward and snatched it out of his hands. “Be a bit more gentle with it!”

“Whoa! What’s got you pissed? Jeno drowned and dropped this. Changmin said to give it to you so I figured it’s important, damn.”

“The Avengers are coming.”

“Like… these Avengers?” He points around the room. “Or our Avengers.”

“The second one,” Jisung nods. “Right, (Y/N)?” You didn’t answer, you were already halfway to your room. You tossed the book on your bed and you opened the small box, pulling the vial of iridescent liquid from it. You twisted it open and downed its limited contents in one gulp. You felt all of your muscles relax at once and you sat on the bed. The wound on your foot closed quickly.

“Postponed, at least for now,” you stretched your arms. “But not permanently,” you placed the vial back in the box and you grabbed the book. As you held the two sides in your hands, ready to open it, you recalled Mark’s warning. Then you remembered the words of the Demon King himself.

“If you know what’s good for you, and what’s good for the world you reside in. Do not seek more than you already know about yourself.”

The times you spoke to Jeno’s father were limited, and your best friend liked it that way, preferred it actually, but the times you did talk they were always pleasant. Save for that warning. He knew something you didn’t, the both of them. You acquired this book without any of their knowledge. For years you just went with it, there’s a quota for death, there’s a reason why you can’t die, there’s a reason why you should avoid stepping near the Seraph, but now in this new universe, you had to know. There was something calling out to you in this dimension, it was very faint, and you didn’t truly notice it until you walked into the Sanctum.

You put the book away, sliding it under the bed.

Trust is mutual, if two very powerful beings are telling you to stay in your lane you probably should. You knew the bare minimum of your condition, so to say, you knew what you had to. Die too many times too close together and something else will come and reclaim its host, and all you knew about that entity was that it was some eldritch creature that took a millennia to finally contain, and for some reason, it had some affinity for you. That is where your knowledge stopped and your curiosity began. What could be so powerful that even the all-powerful Demon King wanted to keep it contained, and what did it have to do with you? Your answers were under your bed. But you risked too much by simply opening the book on its own. You hit your head lightly on the wall behind you. The liquid in the vial would extend your quota by at most three, you had to use them carefully. If you were going to attract a horrific monster, it would probably be best to not do it in a world that you didn’t belong to.

There was a knock at your door.

“What do you want, Renjun?”

The door opened slowly, and someone else stood at it.

“Is now a bad time?” Stark asks. You shook your head.

“It’s your building, come in,” you sighed. He walked in at your invitation, sitting at the table to the side.

“So this is what S.H.I.E.L.D. meant by living accommodations,” he laughs.

“What did you need, Mr. Stark?”

“Tony’s fine, thanks,” he says. “Sorry, it was eating away at me, I had to ask.”

“You wanna know about what you’re like in my dimension, right?”

“I’d appreciate it, but, something tells me I should come back later.”

“Oh, no, no, it’s fine.”

“Where are your friends?”

“Probably getting their asses kicked, but I’m here instead,” you shrugged. “Honestly, you’re not that different. Maybe a little less depressed, but that’s about it. For what it counts, to our knowledge, you aren’t a Follower. You work closely with the Seraph, if they found out then you would’ve been executed on spot, at the very least.”

“Oh yeah? Crazy leader or rational one?”

“Bit of both,” you leaned forward on your bed, kicking the book further under your bed. “Want to know anything else?”

“I was wondering if you could walk me through your Traveler of yours, is it anything like Time Travel?”

“Let’s call it two sides of the same coin.”

“How so? What do you use? Cosmic strings? Möbius strip?”

“Have you heard of the infinite cylinder theory?”

“Also known as Tipler?

“Yes!”

“Then yes, I’m aware.”

“How about Schrödinger’s Equation?”

“We’re talking hamiltonian operators?”

“Bingo. If you can manipulate those two concepts, you can get time travel, but it’s not perfect. So manipulate them differently, add a few more concepts because you have to take relativity into account, and bam. Dimensional Travel.”

“That easy?”

“Yeah, well, no, but in theory sure.”

“And you never went to high school?”

“What’s that got to do with it? If you need a degree to prove you’re right then you’re probably not the sharpest tool in the shed,” you shrug. Tony opened his mouth to retaliate, but couldn’t think of a good comeback to that. “Something tells me you want to ask me something more specific though, Peter let slip that he’s been sending you updates, so I’m sure you’re here for a different reason.”

“Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why help us?”

“Don’t really know how to answer that one, Tony,” you placed your ankle on your opposite knee and rolled out your ankle. “Usually we just take whichever job pays the most, but Changmin asked us personally to take this one, so how could we say no? The guy rarely ever asks us favors, and it was the least we could do.”

“That simple?”

“What? Did you want me to say that we wanted to meet you guys? I mean, it’s certainly a plus. Most of your team happen to be carbon copies of the same one who wants to kill us, so there’s that, we’re observing the ways you act, maybe it’ll help us in the future, maybe not. It’s like a two-way deal, you get your Traveler, and we get data.”

“Data,” Tony scoffs. “I can see why you’d come to that conclusion.”

“What can I say? It’s helpful. But, I can definitely say that we might be relieved of our duties soon, we’re technically here illegally, I’ll have you know,” you said to him. “We’re supposed to get official approval from the Secretary of Travel before jumping dimensions, but we’re not exactly law followers so we never did. But now that an official government team is on their way, hoo boy, my greatest rival is yet to come. Paperwork,” you made light of what would otherwise be a very very bad situation.

“I heard, so we get to meet the other Avengers.”

“Yup. And, let me tell you right now, they’re not the nicest people.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, just you wait until I tell you about them.”

~

The shadow amalgamate shattered into what it once was, scurrying back to their original positions, once Chenle had the wind knocked out of him by Lynx. He landed harshly on Jaemin, who then lost his balance and sent the two tumbling down to the first floor of the Sanctum.

“Sorry,” Chenle rolled off the top of Jaemin.

“It’s fine, call it even for the incident with the banshee.”

“Agreed, ugh, my head’s doing cartwheels…”

“Cartwheels? I feel like mine is being churned,” Jaemin holds his head. Chenle and Jaemin lay next to each other for a moment, trying to stop their spinning heads when someone stood over them.

“Are we bothering you, gentlemen?”

“Ugh, these fuckers are here,” Jaemin covered his eyes with his arms. “Tell me when they’re gone, Apollo.”

“That’s kind of mean,” Mark frowns. Jaemin moves his hand.

“Mark’s not a bad person, actually, Tony. I feel bad because I encouraged him to join the Avengers when they asked, but the other guys saw it as a complete betrayal. But he’s loyal, he doesn’t hate us and we don’t hate him, or at least I don’t.”

“Oh look! The traitor!” He lazily points at him. “Do you know how much shit we’ve been through since you left?”

“All the dishes we’ve had to wash?”

“V won’t even let us take your room because she thinks you’re coming back! You dumb traitor, what happened to our friendship bracelets, Mark?! Huh?!”

“You guys, don’t call me that, come on! Look I’m still wearing it!” Mark whines.

“Go away! You left us for your cooler friends who can legally blow things up, go! Go have fun with them!” Chenle points an accusing finger towards the speedster.

“Just leave them there,” Mark whispers.

“We’re looking for Strange,” a deeper voice says.

“Oh my god, is that Wong Yukhei?” Jaemin asks, his blurred vision not helping him at all. “You know, Vendetta has a cardboard cutout of you, I think she talks to it sometimes,” he laughs, his words slightly slurred as a result of the head damage received when he fell on the hard floors in the first place.

“Flattered,” Yukhei responds.

“Wong Yukhei, decorated soldier from the order of war and the first in the super-soldier experiments. Actually not a bad guy, but feels the need to flex his bravado every now and then because of the team he’s on, and honestly, I kind of relate to that.”

“The hatless wizard is somewhere upstairs,” Chenle points up and lets his arm drop to his side. “We’d help, but you guys look like one big ugly walrus right now.” Jaemin starts cracking up and the two high five.

“Do we have to work with them?” Another voice snapped.

“Li Yongqin, Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul, Lee Youngheum, he has too many names to remember so people usually just call him Ten. He was a perfect student in the military academies, which I’m guessing where his nickname comes from. But he’s pretty impatient, rather ill-tempered from my experience."

“We don’t have a choice,” a more suave on this time.

“Ooh, Lee Taemin. He's an interesting one, Tony. We’re actually pretty close, or used to be at least. He’s very good at what he does, he has years of experience under his belt, but it’s pretty scary. He’s probably done his research by now, be careful, he knows you better than you know yourself. Don’t argue.”

“Gentlemen, let’s end this, we have clearance from the Seraph to exterminate the Followers,” a more powerful one.

“Oh, oh, Lee Taeyong! He’s great. I’ve seen him work a couple of times, I think he’s shot me in the head before. Don’t ask. I have a great deal of respect for him, but he’s kind of anti-social, not easy to get along with him, but I think it’s all miscommunication in the end. I think if we really got to know each other we’d hit it off, but otherwise, I think I’m just a person with a bounty on her head in his eyes.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Jaemin pushed himself up, his eyes finally focusing. “Exterminate? Yeah, you guys do that, but let the Maverick leave first, we don’t want to get caught up in your deathmatch again,” Jaemin hits the side of his head a few times.

“Where’s the Vendetta?”

“Not here! She left because Reaper was being a little bitch!” Jaemin laughs again and Chenle joins him.

“We’re wasting our time here with these idiots,” another person says. Chenle squints his eyes to make out the figure.

“Now there’s Kim Jongin, he’s one of the people who started the Avengers project and got them all together. He’s an indispensable member, in my opinion. But when you’re in a team with that many star-studded members who are constantly in the public eye, it’s easy to get lost in the lights. But he knows how to keep things according to itinerary.”

“Who are you again?” He asks. “I thought the Avengers only had six members,” he stifles back a laugh.

“Dude that’s low!” Jaemin cackles. Mark swallows down a laugh when Taemin looks over at him, both of them trying to be respectful to their teammate.

“I know that’s why I said it!” Chenle hits his teammate’s arm and Jaemin winces, but the two continue in their little circus.

“Forget them, let’s just go,” Jongin. The team ascends the steps.

“Enter, the Avengers,” Baekhyun smiles.

“And finally there’s their leader. Byun Baekhyun— yes, he’s my older brother, no we don’t talk, and I don’t think he even knows I’m alive. He’s similar to you in some aspects, he pays for all of their shit. But he’s manipulative. He knows how to get into your head. Be careful with him.”

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#nct #nct dream #nct u #marvel #nct x reader #nct dream x reader #nct u x reader #nct fics #nct dream fics #nct u fics #my writings #L&R

[spectrumed]

1. piano

The brain is a musical instrument. How it sounds all depends on who is playing it. The keys, the strings, the tubes, the circuits, none of them make noise on their own. Some may argue (some very aggressively) that every instrument has one exact way that it should be played. That there is one correct way to play the piano, and then there’s several incorrect (deviant!) ways to play the piano. But a classically trained pianist will not play the piano in quite the same way as a self-taught jazz pianist will play the piano. Sure, the latter does employ some stylings unique to them. They have an idiosyncratic way of playing that makes their sound highly notable, possibly even sought after. While the former, the classically trained musician, they’ve been taught to minimise many of those quirky individual traits that could, potentially, distract from the classical compositions that they will be playing. In jazz, music is carried by unique characters and a strong sense of individualism. In classical, music is carried by tradition, norm, and history.

It should not be understood that the classically trained musician plays without soul or passion. While we, in the western world, have become more and more infatuated with the idea of the self-made artist, the amateur who makes their way to success and stardom solely through will, and quite often a manic compulsion to create, there is no wrong way to play an instrument. However you make it work, whatever sounds you are able to produce, you are playing that instrument. You are channeling your inner essence into the music you are performing, no matter what genre you belong to. No-one plays their instrument the exact same way, for certain, but everyone is playing with what they’ve got.

How do you think? You’re used to being asked “what do you think?” But how do you think? Do you see pictures in your head? Do you experience an inner monologue? Are you riddled with anxiety? Have you ever hallucinated? Do you think that you think good, or do you think that you think bad? If we return to our metaphor of the brain as a musical instrument, what sort of music do you think you’d play? Sure, there’s the classical world, and the jazz world, but of course, that’s hardly the music most people will listen to nowadays. Do you think in pop songs? Or do you think in big heavy metal epics? Or maybe what you are is a maniac for dance music. You may find like-minded friends who like the same kind of music as you do. I think that there is a correlation between what music we like and how we perceive the world. Does listening to a certain song send you back? Does a certain tune evoke memories that you may have thought were long since gone? I know that there are some folks out there who say that they do not care much for music, and while I don’t doubt that they absolutely do feel that way, I can personally not imagine where I’d be without my trusty set of headphones and my phone loaded up with a wide library of music I like. It seems to me that music is primal. Almost as if only by understanding music, can one come to understand consciousness. To nab a song title from Jethro Tull (the band, not the agriculturalist,) life is a long song.

But I do admit that I come from a biased perspective. Music means much to me. I’m no musician, but I think that partly stems from a desire to not see “how the sausage is made.” I’d like to be able to listen to a composition without feeling compelled to analyse it, or to study it. I’d rather eat the sausage without having to wonder what bits of the animals this meat came from. Is that the taste of a spleen or a testicle? There are plenty of other things in life to dissect and tear apart just to examine. Perhaps what I wish is to maintain an arcane approach to music. Perhaps I am too enamoured by the idea of the musician as a mystic able to tap into an elevated state of being, some spiritual realm divorced from our own. That look on the guitarist’s face when they successfully manages to convey just the right emotional tone perfectly with that solo. The frisson you feel when the song reaches its climax. That thing we call the sublime. To explain it, well, it simply feels like you are making something splendid mundane. It seems to rob it of its power. Or… Well, maybe that’s not it all. Maybe all I want is just a moment or two when I can relax and avoid thinking about things. For a moment, I’d just like to forget that I’m a person.

The world is so loud. Really, I can guarantee you that if you didn’t have those natural mental filters that we all have, you’d go insane. Every little sound. Every little bit of stimuli. It would all overwhelm you. It would burrow deep into your consciousness, and it would refuse to leave. Ever tried to fall asleep while hearing the dripping water from a leaky tap? Drip, drip, drip. Know how impossible that feels? Well, imagine if you had that feeling always, imagine if all noise felt that visceral and in-your-face. Lucky you’ve got those filters. Turns out, not everyone has them. I don’t. It fucking sucks.

Music is lovely, because music is organised. It has structure. You can listen to a song, remember it, and then follow along as you’re listening to it a second time. Music follows a pattern. There is a logic to patterns. But the everyday noises that surround us do not follow a pattern. Let me tell you, birds are infuriating animals. Sure, their individual little songs can be nice to listen to, but when all the birds of the forest come together, they don’t perform as an orchestra. No, they’re all just doing their own solo piece, completely oblivious to the sounds going on around them. I’m thinking that nature could have done well with a conductor. Someone competent to create order. To make it all just that bit more peaceful. I don’t have those filters others take for granted. I can’t ignore sounds. And that makes the world feel so loud.

It is neat to imagine the human brain as a musical instrument. You can imagine that seasoned player, that old session stalwart who’s played on all the most famous pop hits throughout the decades, and you want to imagine them playing with grace and finesse and showcasing all the amazing sounds that the instrument can produce. But the brain isn’t really some marvel of biological engineering. It’s not intelligently designed. It’s actually just a piece of meat hiding underneath layers of bone, skin, and hair. It’s a complex bit of meat, admittedly. It’s hard to understand exactly how the brain does work. But if you were to open up a person’s cranium, rather than feeling awe, you’d most likely feel grossed out. This thing that we’re supposed to think of as a miraculous product of millennia of evolutionary progress, it looks… Well, it looks awfully pinkish, and wrinkly, and frankly unpleasant.

We’re all mortal beings, made from squishy flesh and blood, scraped together from all that was available at the time. Sure, we may dream and fantasise about one day achieving those heights we aspire towards, to become that perfect superman, whose cognitive abilities put them on par with the mythological titans of the past. But really, we’re all just trying to do our best with what we’ve got. You may not be able to play the finest of Mozart’s many symphonies, the instrument that you’ve been given just simply isn’t up to snuff. Even if all you can play is Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, that shouldn’t weigh on your value as a human being. And besides, that’s still Mozart you’re playing.

I will undoubtedly get back to discussing music in later instalments of this blog. It is truly a major part of my world, and without the joys I associate with it, I would be in a far worse place. But I think that, ultimately, what I wish to arrive at, is the fact that our sensory perceptions have a significant impact on how we piece together our sense of self. While it may be an unnerving thought to consider, what would happen to our understanding of ourselves if we one day were to lose one of our major senses? I am sure that many people could go without their sense of smell. Humans have long since abandoned smell as a dominant sense. To a dog, on the other hand, to lose its sense of smell would be devastating. It would lose part of what it means to be a dog. For humans, we enjoy the scent of freshly baked bread, the whiff of somebody’s perfume, or the bouquet of some pricey bottle of wine. But that’s nothing to what dogs get out of their sense of smell. To a dog, its sense of smell is its world. Is a dog even a dog if it can’t sniff around? Do you think dogs ever take their sense of smell for granted?

I do not think that humans are what we eat, but I suspect that we may be what we perceive. Our consciousness does not exist independently of the world that surrounds it, but rather, it is formed by the outside stimuli it receives on a constant basis. The fury of noises, lights, smells, all kinds of impressions, it shapes you. It is what our memories are built on. I am not at all certain that there exists anything more to the mind beyond that. I doubt that we’ve got some immutable soul hidden underneath it all. Humans are the collection of thoughts and ideas that we’ve attached ourselves to throughout our lives, and naturally, if you’re neurodivergent, that process is going to happen differently to most. At times those differences will be large enough that it can create real conflicts with those others around you. Effectively, to be neurodivergent is to suffer constantly from culture shocks. To me, it is natural to loathe the cacophony of birds in the summer. Their screams feel like piercing needles embedding themselves into my skin. But I try telling that to others, and I’ve yet to find anybody who agrees with me.

So, am I just wrong? Am I mistaken? Am I a freak? Why can’t I just be like everybody else? Why must I be such a buzzkill? I can’t even enjoy birdsong, I really must be a pain to be around. How did it come about that I just can’t be normal? Normal. I want to be normal. It is and it will likely always be grossly underrated to just be normal. Normal people don’t know how good they have it. They’re just too normal to be able to perceive it. When you’ve never been without it, you don’t know what it is to miss it. Normalcy. Having a normal brain. Having others see you as a normal person. Only if you didn’t have it, would you know how great it is. Do you sometimes wonder if dogs know how much they’d miss their sense of smell if they ever were to lose it?

Then again, there is no such thing as normal, is there? If you were to take the world’s most average person, then that person would be abnormal. To be a person is to be unique. We’re all special snowflakes. Aren’t we?

You may not play your instrument in a conventional manner, but who’s to say what manner counts as conventional? It’s all just so arbitrary. Who’s to say you can’t play an acoustic guitar as a drum? Who’s to say you can’t treat your piano as a percussion instrument? Smack your cello with a flute, if you’d like. Isn’t it just delightful when you see a unique performer who is able to play their instrument in a way you could never before have conceived it being played? The novelty of it all. The absolute joy of being exposed to something different. Of seeing something that can barely be believed. You love things that are unusual, and you think people who are different should delight in being different. Surely, it is better than being normal and boring?

But is it all that bad to be boring? And you may love what’s different, but when it comes down to it, despite your positive inclination, you still perceive it as being the other. It is not you. It is not mainstream, it is underground. Secluded. Deviant. Those who truly do struggle to fit in with society, to be just like everybody else, they are constantly faced with these little reminders that they just don’t belong. They are humans (at least they think they are humans,) but they’re not like other humans they know. For as much as they get told that they should embrace their quirky nature as simply being who they are, it is hard to know what it is like to be not normal, when all you’ve ever been is normal. Sure, for a performance or two, it’s fun. It’s fun to get the attention, to be seen as having something others don’t have. But then, at the end of the day, all you want is to be able to fall asleep, without the birdsong outside your window keeping you awake.

#neurodiversity #neurodivergent #autism spectrum disorder #autism #aspergers #mental health

[endof-theline]

Day 5- Tropetember: Accidental Confessions

Day 5 of super early Tropetember is a little late but it's a little longer to make up for it! It's the Avengers' one year of being a team party and everyone's drinking but Tony, including everyone's favourite Super Soldiers who decide flirting with Tony would be a great idea... that is until it's not.

On Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/32394175

At first it seemed like a great idea, why wouldn’t it? A party to celebrate a year since the team formed, to celebrate everything they’ve done and everything they’ve been through together. Tony had been excited to have the whole team together and having a good time, letting loose and relaxing since Fury had given them the all clear to be off duty for the night and reassured them that SHIELD could take care of anything that popped up. Natasha, Bruce, Thor, Sam, Clint, Wanda, Vision, Steve and Bucky were all ready for a much needed day off and they were excited to have their party as well, it’s not everyday superheroes could relax. Thor even brought Asgardian drinks so that Steve, Bucky and himself could drink with everyone else.

Unfortunately for Tony, he was the only one not drinking since Bruce had decided to join in after Clint pulled out a bottle of whiskey Bruce loved and hadn’t had since before the Hulk’s creation. Tony was fine with not drinking, his friends were either tipsy or drunk but no one was being gross or weird so it was still fun even without a buzz. He smiled at Natasha who shot him a look when she realised that Tony wasn’t going to be drinking and even offered to join him, he didn’t want to drag Natasha into his own problems so he waved her off and told her to have a drink for him instead.

It had been months since Tony had decided to give up drinking and he thought he was doing amazingly well considering that had been his usual escape after practically rough missions, he found that he actually didn’t miss it that much once the majority of the withdrawal had died down. The team had been so proud of him and helped him along the way, the topic had been brought up several times leading up to tonight about them not drinking but everytime Tony waved them off with a smile.

“Tony, I just wanna say how proud I am of you” Steve said as he dropped onto the sofa beside Tony, his arm going around Tony’s shoulders and his grin looked like it hurt with how wide he was smiling “You are doing so amazing and I don’t know how it feels but I imagine tonight has been hard for you, y’know with the drinks”

“Thanks Steve, it’s not too bad since I get to see you guys having a great time” Tony smiled back up to him, that annoying feeling in his chest returned as he looked up to the drunken hero. Tony had fallen hard for the Captain and had never had the courage to act on any of it, good thing too since when they rescued Bucky it barely lasted a month before the super soldiers were dating and poor Tony just had to smile through the pain as he just as quickly fell for Bucky.

“It’s been so long since I’ve got to have a drink and not worry about anything” Steve mumbled as he let his head lol towards Tony’s and when Tony went to speak up, Steve just popped his head back up and looked around before spotting Bucky talking with Natasha “I think it was in the war, having drinks with Buck after getting him back, s’kinda the same feeling”

“Well, I’m glad you’re having a good time” Tony chuckled and tried to catch anyone’s eye to get him up and away from Steve, only managing to catch Bucky’s which he took as an invitation to come over as well “Speak of the devil”

“Aw, you talking about me, doll” Bucky teased as he sat down on the other side of Tony, leaning into him as he smiled at the pair “Nat was just telling me ‘bout the parties you used to have”

“Oh, was she?” Tony asked as he shot a glare over to redhead who just lifted her glass up to him before turning to talk to Clint with a smirk “What did she tell you?”

“She said that they were massive and usually ended up in the news” Bucky snickered as Steve started to giggle as well while Tony had to take a deep breath “She said that’s how it came out that you like men”

“That would be true” Tony nodded along, he had been planning on coming out on his own terms but had thrown a party where he was photographed kissing a few of the guys and it was immediately leaked that he had taken one of them to bed “People took pictures of me and some guys at one of my parties messing around and they forced it into the media earlier than I wanted”

Bucky and Steve’s mood shifted so fast that Tony almost got whiplash for them, they had been laughing but as soon as Tony explained what happened they grew upset and angry. Tony guessed it was a bigger deal for them to have been outed than it was for Tony, he assumed it was because of their background even though the pair were out and proud.

“Tony, I’m so sorry” Bucky suddenly seemed a lot more sober than seconds ago as guilt washed over Tony, he had completely ruined the mood for them.

“Oh it’s fine, I almost expected it to happen and besides it was years ago, pre-Iron Man times” Tony waved his hand and smiled at them, the smile faltered when neither of them smiled back at him “Seriously you guys, my life isn’t very private and that’s the way it’s always been so I’m more than used to it”

“That doesn’t make it alright, Tony” Steve stressed and had that look on his face that screamed Steve wanted to hurt everyone who had wronged him, it was a look Steve wore whenever Tony spoke about his past “Just because you’re used to it, doesn’t mean you should expect not to have privacy”

“I appreciate the disapproval Cap, but it’s fine, I’m done worrying about the press in my life” Tony lied as he kept smiling and shaking his head, praying to any Gods out there that they would drop the topic “Besides, this is a celebration, you guys should be having fun!”

“We could have some fun” Bucky purred in Tony’s ear making the genius swallow thickly, his ears going pink in an instant as Bucky’s hand landed on his knee.

“Think that comment is directed to you there, Steve” Tony chuckled as he moved to sit up but Steve’s hand tightened on his shoulder to keep him in place, Tony looked over to the blonde to see the heated look in his eyes as he smirked at Tony.

“It wasn’t, Buck and I agree” Steve’s voice was lower and deeper than usual, Tony’s eyes flicked over to Bucky and received the same heated look he got from Steve in return “Ain’t that right, Buck?”

“Mhm, don’t you wanna have some fun with us, doll?” Bucky asked as his Brooklyn accent thickened, same as Steve’s, as the pair moved to press closer and Tony tried to ignore how fast his heart was beating. Tony had had dreams that started like this, he knew where they led and he wasn’t stupid either. They were both drunk, he could smell it on their breath and see it in their flirty looks that were a little dazed or lopsided, and as much as Tony wanted this he wasn’t going to take advantage of them like this. Never like this, no matter what the papers had said when he was twenty five.

“Please don’t do this” Tony whispered as he scrunched up his eyes, he couldn’t believe he was doing this. He had wanted these men for months and would have done to hear this anytime except from right now.

“Why not? Just some harmless fun between teammates, right?” Bucky’s hand had slid to his thigh and Steve’s had snuck under his collar so his hand rested on Tony’s bare shoulder, the heat of his palm felt like it was burning him instead of comforting like it had been.

“Just don’t, not now” Tony pleaded as his eyes scanned the room, hoping that no one was taking notice so he didn’t ruin the rest of the night for everyone else. Tony couldn’t say that hearing that Bucky just thought it was ‘just some harmless fun’ as teammates didn’t sting his heart, this didn’t mean a thing to him and he was just doing it because he was drunk.

“Give us a reason, why can’t we have some fun, Tony?” Steve pressed on and Tony swore he tried, he tried so hard not to say anything, but both men were in his space and saying things Tony had dreamt of hearing, things that had comforted him in his lowest moments and he couldn’t have it and he knew it meant nothing to them.

Tony ripped himself from their grasp, standing up and whirling to face them as he snapped “BECAUSE I’M IN LOVE WITH BOTH OF YOU!” before he realised what he had blurted out, his eyes filling with tears because of course Tony Stark can’t have a secret “Fuck, forget what I said”

Tony ran. He did what he knew best and ran, he only ran back to his workshop but he locked everything down and dived for the cot as he let himself cry out his heartbreak. He covered his ears as Steve and Bucky banged on the door and shouted at him, he wished they had just ignored him or at least didn’t want to take their anger out on him. Tony pulled the blanket over him and covered his head with it so he could try and block out everything else, the light of the arc reactor soothed him as he sobbed until he passed out with Steve and Bucky still pounding away at his door.

No one saw Tony for two days and on the third, it was hard to recognise him as the Tony they knew. Tony was dressed up in a suit, looking picture perfect with his hair styled and goatee trimmed exactly, sunglasses covered his eyes as he carried a briefcase in one hand, his knuckles almost going white with his tight grip. Natasha knew this man, she recognised him as Tony before the team, the one under Obidiah’s thumb, this was the media version of Tony Stark.

“Tony, Bucky and I nee-” Steve tried to stop him, hand outstretched and looking hurt when Tony dodged it with ease.

“No need, Cap, in a few hours I’ll be on the other side of the country. Rhodes is taking over my position as Iron Man and Pep’s handling SI over here, Fury’s agreed to it and Pepper’s not happy but hell, she’ll probably enjoy not having me be so useless” Tony held his hand out to interrupt Steve who just stared at Tony in shock, the rest of the team gathering as Tony spoke “I’m sorry for fucking up, I should have kept my mouth shut or just gone with it, I’ll see you around… well no, I won’t actually, I’m not planning on coming back”

“You can’t just leave!” Bucky protested as he came to stand beside Steve, looking equally hurt as the blonde.

“Actually I can, I am in fact, now I gotta go or I’ll miss my flight. Glad I could stick around for a year before I fucked up” Tony laughed but it was humorless and no one else was laughing with him, in fact all of them just looked sad “Cheer up, things will be better without me, you guys are always complaining about shit I do so you should be happy!”

“Tony, that’s not-, we-, you-” Steve stammered helplessly as Tony just raised an eyebrow at him questioningly, Steve and Bucky shared a look before Bucky nodded at him and suddenly Steve was there, cupping his cheeks and kissing him. Steve kissed him deeply, not caring that Tony wasn’t reacting, his hands were cupping his cheeks and his body was pressed up against Tony’s, stealing his breath away.

“Steve, what-?” Tony tried to ask but Steve stepped away for Bucky to take his place, his hands going to Tony’s hair instead and kissing him just as deep and intensely as Steve had. Tony’s body caught up as his body sagged slightly and tears came to his eyes when Bucky stepped away from him “What are you doing?”

“We love you too” Steve said and Tony’s world crashed down around him. For the last two days, Tony had convinced himself that the whole team hated him, Steve and Bucky especially, and that the world would be better off if he just disappeared.

Tony stumbled away from them, almost tripping over his own feet as he stared at the team that were all staring back at him as his reality broke. He wanted to run, he wanted to escape again so when he went to run Bucky grabbed his arm and pulled him back instead, pulling him into a hug and moving with Tony when his knees buckled and he dropped to the floor. Steve knelt down beside them and moved Tony’s glasses off his face to show the tears that were now streaming down his face, his body shaking as he tried to remember how to breathe.

“Sweetheart, take some nice deep breaths for me” Steve comforted him and wiped back the tears, only for them to be replaced seconds later “It’s alright, Tony, you’re okay”

“No I’m not, you’re meant to hate me!” Tony shouted as he pulled at his hair, frustrated that everything had changed, nothing was going to his plan and he didn’t know what to do about it. He didn’t want them to hate him, but it made leaving a lot easier if that’s what they wanted from him.

“We couldn’t be farther away from it” Bucky said softly while he pushed Tony’s hands away and started to comb his fingers through Tony’s hair instead, the soft touches helping the headache that was building up but not helping his heart “We love you, and there’s no way in hell that we could hate you”

They let Tony cry himself out before trying to talk to him sensibly, just a lot of soft words and soothing touches until Tony had worn himself out from crying and was just curled into Bucky’s chest as his breathing stopped being so ragged and his heart stopped pounding quite so hard.

“We love you, Tony, and we’ll tell you everyday if we have too” Bucky whispered in his ear before Steve kissed his cheek and repeated Bucky in a whisper in his other ear, the pair not needing to look at each other to know that it was a promise that they were going to keep until Tony no longer needed to hear it from them everyday and then continuing it because they wanted to make sure Tony always knew he was loved.

It took a lot of conversations, a lot of tears, a lot of traded kisses and touches to finally persuade Tony that they weren’t lying to him, that they really did love him and that they wanted to be with him. Once Tony knew it and was feeling more secure where he stood, the change in him amazed the team since most of them had never seen him so happy. Of course there will still be bad days, but now Tony wasn’t alone and he had two soldiers to help protect him against the bad thoughts and nightmares.

Tony woke up every morning between Steve and Bucky with a kiss and a whispered confession of love, and every morning Tony blushed and whispered back:

“I love you too”

#tropetember #eotl writes #fanfiction #stuckony #Steve Rogers #Tony Stark #Bucky Barnes #accidental confession #feels

[ajokeformur-ray]

✨ Unfiltered Joker thoughts ✨

I watched Joker with a bunch of lovely clowns on my Discord and while they werewolf’d in the chat, I typed out my thoughts here as they came to me. These are unedited, unfiltered, and exactly as they were in my head. I don’t know who’d be interested in this but 🤷‍♀️ who doesn’t love unfiltered thoughts about our man? NSFW ahead in places, lmao and some self-ship elements because it’s always on my mind.

There are Controversial Things within, I’m sure - be nice about it if you wanna comment, or unfollow/block etc. if it bothers you I won’t take it personally. I will take it personally if I’m sent a rude message, though. Fair warning. You curate your own online experience so scroll past silently if you gotta!🥰🥰🥰🥰

Tagging @arthurflecc @jokerownsmysoul @daincrediblegg @sweet-nothings04 bc they were in the chat and missed me there!! 

 Word count: 4, 597.

OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG JOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJO -

*Presses play*

OMG THERE HE IS BABYYYYYYYY ~ 

Ugh that white shirt... 🥵

“paint me like one of your french girls” 👀

oh, honey, no. 

Don’t force yourself to smile, my love, it’s okay. you can be hurting.

sweet angel who can do no wrong asdfghjkl

wanna kiss that tear away...

CARNIVALCARNIVAL CARNIVAL *STARTS SWAYING IN MY SEAT*

jaunty piano to juxtapose his shitty mood

you spin me right round, baby, right round...

ohhh, baby 🥺🥺🥺

someone’s honky lmaoooooo ~ 

that cello

Ohhhh, darling man.... i’m so sorry. I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry

WOOPS CRYINGGGG ~

sweet angel love still tryna be funy with the flower squirting...

what else will squirt tonight???👀

ohhh, darling. deep breaths baby. it’s okay. you’re okay.

CRYINGGGGG

ohhhh baby boyyyy....

legit just cooed aloud

oh angel <3 

“is it just me or is it getting crazier out there?”

it is my love... it is. 

let me sit on your lap and still the shaking of your legs

ohhhh my love. you’re okay. just breathe.

Dr. Kane was doing her best but you’re beyond what she can handle

you deserve better, sweetheart.

my love, my life.

I JUMPED WHEN HE HIT HIS HEAD IN ARKHAM

“who knows?”

yeah me too, my love. me too. 

“i just dont wanna feel so bad anymore”

oh baby.

i know, my love. i wish i could hold your hand and stroke your hair and kiss your cheeks 🥺🥺🥺

had a shitty day but wants to comfort a child on the bus. thats my manssss ~ <3 <3 <3 

okay but his peekaboo makes me giggle please do that to me when im sad

“‘cuse you bitch?”

the greasepaint still on his face is endearing omg 

GIVE HIM BACK HIS CARD OR IMMA RIOTTTT

CRYINGGGGG 

ohhhh baby. no. deep breaths. i’m here, my love. not going anywhere

those fucking steps

me too, darling. i feel your exhaustion like it’s my own and i long to take it from you without changing a single thing about you.

my love, my life

the weariness of an unchanged routine is a paralysing one

wanna rub cream on your bruises

“yeah, mum” so soft im cry

“eat. you need to eat” i hear you in my head when i wanna skip meals and it helps me.

“oh yeah? who do you talk to?” YES SASS HER

“yay murray” ohhhhh angel you’re so cute I’m cry 🥺

murray you wankstain - old and crusty 🤮🤢🤮🤢

arthur’s laugh in his daydream 🥺🥺

“i love you murray” // “you’re awful murray” baby noooooo

“theres something special about you arthur” the only real thing murrat ever fuckin said AND IT WASNT EVEN A REAL THING IT WAS IN HIS HEAD

“I TAKE GOOD CARE OF MY MOTHER” YEEEES BABY YOU DO! SO PROUD OF YOU!!!

just wantin recognition in your daydreams bc you dont get it in your real life

YOU SWEET THING

HIS SWEET SMILE AND THE CELLO OH BABY 🥺😭

YOUR BACK 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

shoes are too tight so you gotta stretch em 

can you stretch me too???👀🥵💦🔥

“chuckletown” RANDALLS LEGACY AND WE TURNED IT INTO SMTHN LOVING AND NOT SARKY LIKE HE INTENDED LMAO FUCK YOU RANDALL YOU PIECE OF SHIIIIIIIIT

arthur’s hair in the sun omg like a halo

randall fuck off fucking fuck off go aWAY LEAVE MY ARTHUR ALONE

you asswipe

arthurs shy and nervous lil giggle omg baby say no give the gun back its not well intended 

“my boy”  AHA LMAO HE DOES PAY YOU BACK BUT NOT HOW YOU EXPECT LMAOOOO YOU GET WHAT YOU DESERVE

THOSE CURLS

arthur’s sweet little lilting voice in front of his boss omggggg ~ 

HOYYYYYYT 

his logic makes no sense wtffffff ~ 

RETAIL SMILE LMAO THATS A MOOD 

brewing insanity..... 

POUND ME LIKE THOSE TRASH BAGS

RUIN ME AND THEN REBUILD ME IN YOUR IMAGE 

those mf stairs again

it’s the same old team since 1916... in your head, in your head...

never in my LIFE have i been aroused by a FOOT

lmao only Arthur istg that man is the exception to my every rule

Gigi is so CUTE 🥺

THAT SMIRK SIR CAN YOU NOT

“hey” omggg look at you tryna connect ugh so proud of youuu ~ 

the moon is a silver dollar... 

THOSE CURLS

THOSE BARE FEET

THAT SOFT VOICE

ARTHURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR 

frances conroy is a goddess omg i love herrrr ~ 

espesh on ahs she’s a queen

but i digress lmao wrong fandom

“dont you have to be funny to be a comedian”

FUCK OFF PENNY 

FUCK RIGHT OFF THEN FUCK OFF SOME MORE PLEASE

slap that bass.... 

FINGERSSS ON THE GUN ASDFGHJ PUT THEM ON ME INSTEADDDD

zoom zoom the world is in a mess

LMAO YEP

“psh” omg you sweet angel asdfghjk

THAT EYEBROW RAISE ASDFGHJK SASSY KINGGGGG

GET ITTTTTT

UGH THAT BODY WANNA COVER IT IN MARKS OF LOVE TO REPLACE THE VIOLENT MARKS

ARTHUR @ HIMSELF “YOURE A GOOD DANCER // I KNOW”

omggggg sweet clumsy babyyyy

lmaooo “old war movie” do you tell penny that when we get caught having sex on the sofa????

arthur honey following sophie isn’t.... the best way to get her attention asdfghjk 

someone needs to teach you social interactions... 

I VOLUNTEER AS TRIBUTTTTTE

that student/teacher roleplay comedian at pogos makes no sense to me???? i dont get his jokes at all

lmao bad comediannnnnn

arthur’s cute lil mistimed giggles ksksksksk 

wanna kiss your cheeks every timmmme 

you’re working so hard to achieve your goals im so so proud of you

ambidextroussss ~ (just like me omg we’re perfect for each otherrrrr)

“people expect you to behave as if you dont” YOU INTELLIGENT LIL SHIT OMG I LOVE YOU AND YOUR MIND

you know its a daydream if arthurs wearing a shirt at home 

his shy “yeah” omggggg ~ angelllll 

“i have a gun i can come by tomorrow” LMAOOOOOOOO 

“youre so funny arthur” YES HE IS DREAM!SOPHIE

CARNIVAL CARNIVAL CARNIVAL

I ACTUALLY STOMP MY FEET HERE BC IM HAPPY FOR THE TIME HES ON SCREEN SWEET CLOWN 

THE ONLY ONE IM NOT AFRAID OF

HES SO SO HAPPY OMGGG

BABY BOYYYY IN HIS ELEMENT

SAD THO BC KIDS ARE TERMINALLY ILL 

bestest party clownnnn 

“I love this job” oh baby 🥺🥺

aaaaaaaaand now the betrayal from randall lmao fuck that dude

NO BB YOUR FOREHEAD NO SMASHY GLASSY

LMAO THE FUCK ERIKA???

dudes 35 not a kid 

throwing greasy chips into a girl’s hair isn’t how to flirt my dude lmao you’re gross??? 

ew

EW EW EW WIGGLE YOUR CHIPS ELSEWHERE

ohhhh arthur, honey no omg breathe it’s okay

you wanna help but you dont know how

you sweet thing 

send in the clowwwwwwwwwwwwwwns ~ 

IM CRYINGGGGG

“they couldnt carry a tune to save their lives”

JOEKR ITS NOT YOUR TIME YET GO AWAYYYY

lmao jokes stay you know im lost without you 

HOW CAN YOUR HAIR LOOK SO GOOD AFTER BEING UNDER A WIG ALL DAY ?????

carnival with arthur’s hair is just 👌👌👌👌

WHERES HIS CARDDDDD 

nooooooo omg baby no omg i wish i could take all those punches for you

i’d take it all in a heartbeat to save you

gritting his teeth not taking in anymore

YES BABY GET EEEEEEM

YES YES YES YES STAND UP FOR YOURSELF SO PROUD OF YOU

first 2 self defence, 3rd one unsure lmao but fuck it 

no PUT THE GUN AWAY FROM YOUR FACE BABY ITS OKAY DONT FORGET YOUR BAG OR YOUR WIG ITS EVIDENCE

KILL THE 3RD COVER YOUR TRACKS

GOOD BOYYYYYY

carnival with blood on face = killing your insecurities

8 bullets from a 6 chamber????? mm-hm lmao i know @daincrediblegg wrote a thing on this once lmao bestest Egg is smart and i love her muchly 🥰🥰🥰🥰

run baby run, dont ever look backkk... (check yes juliet)

BATHROOM SCENE BATHROOM SCENE BATHROOM SCENE

fuck me against that dirty counter

joker’s waking uuuuuuuup....

that cello though unffff 👌

got me clenchinnnnn you fluidddd ~ 

and in his eyes, all the sadness of the world. those pleading eyes that both threaten and adore (phantom of the opera)

my brain is 90% song lyrics 

hes so graceful and ethereal so full of pain and of love and of adventure and worth and need and yearning

my sweet boy

my wonderful angel

my fallen angel

T POSEEEEE

DAYDREAM KISSSSS

ugh push me against the wall and shove your hand down my panties and take whats yours 

please and thanks

so confident

so smooth

so sure

unf

take me angel im all yours 

and my name is carnival

SASSY BOYYYYY

I SAY BOY BUT YOURE A MAN LMAO 

YESSSSSS TELL THEMMMMMMMM 

LMAOOOOOO RANDALL SEEMS LEGIT CONFUSED PFFFT

TOUGH SHIIIIIIIT

LMAOOO PUNCH OUT

BUSTING A LUNNGGGGG

HE DOESNT KNOW HIS OWN STRENGTH

OR HIS OWN LIMITS

“DONT SMILE”

MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD

nothin worse than being told to smile when you really wanna bare your teeth and let rip

aka me every fuckin minute of my life 

SHUSH ME SHUSH ME SHUSH ME

ILL CRY BUT DO IT

LMAOOOOO CHOKE ME WITH THOSE BICEPS 

ILL GO OUT DOIN WHAT I LOVE

YOUUUUUUU 

“gotham’s lost its way” ok trump

“thats not funny” SHUT UP PENNY YES IT IS

STOP SMOTHERING ARTHUR LET HIM BE FREE

“nobody ever saw me. even i didnt know if i really existed”

and

“you dont listen do you”

BOTH ARE MOODS

i feel them so hard

hes so sure of himself in this session

so angry and done and weary

“people are starting to notice” ALMOST A YEAR OF YOU BEING NOTICED

that green jumper omggg 

good luck getting me out of it pfffft 

“erika have you seen my - oh, there it is. never mind.”

want it back???? payment is kissessss

EW SEXIST COMEDIAN

arthur honey stop primping youre perfect <3 <3 <3 

im so so proud of youuuuu

COLLARBONEEEEEES

OMG HE STUMBLES UP THE STEPS DARLINGGG

I wish i could hold your hand while youre on stage and comfort you while you deliver your jokes

just breathe, darling. it’s okay. i’m here, i promise. <3 

every time you gag on your laughter my heart clenches

CRYINGGGGG

oh, my love, it’s okay. just breathe. dont fight it. dont fight yourself 

you’re so good at imitating your ma pfffft 

lmaoooo you’re so funny arthur 

WOO BOI DONT FLASH YOUR PORN PAGES AT THE AUDIENCE 

givin me ideas.... 

SMILE THOUGH YOUR HEART IS ACHING

SMILE EVEN THOUGH IT’S BREAKING 

WHEN THERE ARE CLOUDS IN THE SKY

YOU’LL GET BY

SMILE THROUGH YOUR FEAR AND SORROW

SMILE

AND MAYBE TOMORROW

YOULL SEE THE SUN COME SHINING THROUGH

arthur is my sunshine

EXCUSE ME HEART EYES OMGGGG

ME AND ARTHUR HEART EYESING AT EACH OTHER PFFFFFT 

gonna put people off their food doin that 

thats life

arthur’s imitations and those soft curls and the dancing and the - 

erika.exe has stopped working 

“come on dance with me”

👀👀👀👀👀👀👀

i prefer the horizontal dance myself...

“big date”

“deliver the letter”

NARCISSISM 

ARTHUR YOU DESERVE BETTERRRRRRRRRR

IS IT BAD HIS EYEBROWS TURN ME ON?? SO THICK AND DARK AND STRONG I - 

and those eyes

ugh fuck meeee ~ 

yes thats an invitation

penny “needs care” but her handwriting is that neat???? yeah fuck off 

sorry i dont buy it

she was grooming him i think into some kinda husband role and its fucking gross as fuck she was abusing him and he just wanted her gone 

CUTE LIL NOSTRIL FLARES BC SAD AND ANGRY

OMG

his quiet anger scares me but i admire how he calmed down so fast

angry penguinnnnn

HE CARRIES HIS CLOWN NOSE AROUND IN HIS POCKET

CUUUUUUUTE

the similar clothing colours of arthur and bruce is v def intentional 

in another life, arthur....

i’m so sorry darling you deserved and deserve so much better

legit one small change in anything coulda prevented 80% of this film

your magic tricks are gorgeous ~ 

you’re so funny and soothing and comforting and so good with kids

you are the best party clown

I GASPED AT THE FLOWERS

like my server nameee ~ 

“hi” that soft noise 🥺

arthur’s hands on those bars omg 🥵🥵🥵

okay i’ll admit i still dont get the whole arthur/thomas thing lmao is he his dad???? ive seen this film 10000000 x and i still can’t decide.

i wanna say he is but like ??? idk ??

it’s tragic either way omg arthur’s wasted in gotham

ruuuun arthur run run runnnnnnnn 

the bg music isss 👌👌👌👌

arthur accidentally caused penny’s stroke bc med w/drawal but all that abuse, like ????? i get why he kept her sedated lmao i’d want her knocked out or smthn too

7 meds between the two of them, probably.... that might be why he wanted an increase???

you gotta lie, angel.

you’re in way over your head but lie

yeeees good boy!!

“a clown thing?“ lmaoooo tell them!!!

NO ITS EXIT ONLY

KINDA LIKE MY ASS LMAO NO ANAL FOR YOU 

he just wants love and comfort and for someone to stay omg you sweet thing 

you deserve the world and all the forehead kisses 

TURN THE TV OFF

TURN IT OFF

TURN IT - 

OH TOO LATE

arthurrrrr ~ 

its like a car crash lmao you know its coming but you cant stop looking

fuck off murrat

FUCK OFF SOME MORE

oooooooh thats a danger face....

lowkey want it between my thighs lmao use me to work out your frustrations i can take it 

“kill the rich” lmao relatable 

this film revealed to me that i have a flexible morality ksksksk im all for it though 

sleepy bb ~ 

“we are all clowns” ALSO RELATABLE

🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡

arthurs thriving in the crowd omg yes baby looks so happy

flashes of joker comin throughhh... 

sneaky baby...

quick on his feet, light on his sense... 

tread lightly on my ground, (abba; andante)

THE RED THEATRE SUIT OMG FORESHADOWWWW

he looks good in red

he looks good out of red too 👀👀

that is the smile of the world’s most precious angel omg babyyyy ~ 

he makes me smile omg hes my sunshine

my love my life 

you saved my soul do you know that??? do you feel me and how much i love you? do you see me and these tears? 

do you feel me like i feel you?

ohhhhh boy here we go asdfdgfhgjhk arthur going to meet his dad, only asking for love and instead he gets punched in the face

i mean i get it bc of what arthur did to bruce with the whole hands in the mouth thing but bruce is barely mentioned, like an afterthought?

thomas has a nasty temper i wouldnt want him for a dad

thomas legit only mentions bruce after he’s punched arthur its like his only thought is really protecting himself and his rep with the whole penny thing

his son comes after; legit as he’s walking away he mentions bruce so hes obvs not that concerned????

shitty dad award lmao

not that what arthur did is okay im not excusing his admittedly misguided and lowkey creepy actions but like ????

lmao prob gonna get hate for this ^^ like i did last time i mentioned it but i dont care im allowed an opinion

too tired to care rn anyways pfffft its storming so bad outside and my wifi has dipped idk if this’ll save

c’mon wifi, for me... 

yes

arthur didnt have an attack til he got called crazy, its a trigger word for him 😭

oh baby its okay, deep breaths.

dont fight your laughter, that’ll make it worse 

the way he bounces back from that punch though - you know how to take it, dont you, my love?

you sweet thing.

i wish i could get you out of that fridge omg baby those old ones lock - how did you get out ????

meds are wearing off now.....

darling say no to the show lmao you dont wanna go

*facepalm*

every time i watch this i hope it turns out different

it never does

arthur honey dont ask questions you dont want the answers to

that clerk was protecting you not letting you see the file

that clerk and gary were the only ones nice to you

but it wasnt enough

you needed love and support and help and guidance 

and instead you got literal and metaphorical punches and no break

the hand puppet omgggg ~ 

i want him to play peekaboo with me when im sad/upset/make a hand puppet over my shoulder aszdxfcghvjbkn

ohhhhhh darling stop reading stop reading stop reading

put it down. 

this entire scene is confusing and heartbreaking

ive seen this film 10000000 x and im still not sure i fully understand

his laughing is so much like sobbing here

omg moonshine its okay you can cry. let it all out. 

newspaper clips in a real file???? mmmm - unprofessional or arthur’s manifestation of news??

🤔

we love pathetic fallacy in this house

i wanna get you in the shower and wash you down and feed you and wrap you in my warm embrace “i had a bad day”

my dark angel, it’s okay. i’m here. i love you and im staying with you no matter what

sophie was his last hope, his last chance to reconnect

again im not excusing it lmao but im saying i understand him

hes touching everything to experience it for the first time

he knows shes a daydream

hes self-aware but he needs his coping mechanisms

we all do it

not the breaking in, i mean the daydreaming 

“i had a bad day” shatters my black, shrivelled heart 💔💔💔💔💔💔

ohhh, darling.

istg you’re the only person i ever fucking coo at 

finger-guns = reconnecting = remember me see me

but i guess to sophie it came across as ominous/creepy??

poor arthur trying so hard to reconnect to people and he just cant do it he doesnt have the social know-how bc no one bothered to ever teach him

again im not saying its okay im just saying

lmao i hate how i always feel like i have to justify myself even before thats called into question pffft the internet is cruel and prev times ive voiced myself ive been sent rude messages and once bitten twice shy

the sword forgets but the tree remembers

hes sobbign and laughing and its gut-wrenching

that neighbour yelling “shut up” better catch these hands imma square up

have some compassion dickwad

you never know what someones going through so be kind

always always be kind

^^^ film takeaway right there

if looks could kill penny would be 6 feet under

OH WAIT LMAOOOO 😂😂😂😂😂😂

in killing her he sets himself free. but the trauma and the damage done to him leaves him open to more of the same bc hes so vulnerable

that heart-rate monitor went quiet so quickly did he tune it out????

OMG THE WAY HE REHEARSES FOR THE SHOW YOU SWEET MAN OMG YOU DESERVE THE WORLD

sir thats my seat lmao my throne of red

“yeah? all of you? okay” 🤡🤡🤡

us lining up to fuck him into next week 😂

THATS LIFEEEEE ~ 

the fuck kinda hair dye you usin’???

CHOKE ME W THOSE BICEPS

DANCIN TOGETHER IN THE BATHROOM

THOSE HIPS DONT LIEEEEE 👀👀

scissors = pre-med murder but triggered by “my boy” - term used by abusers. 

poor angel’s triggered by lots of things, i think. theres no telling what triggers his violence and thats what makes him dangerous

could be anything and theres also no telling what his “you wronged me” scale is so ??? 

he’s like a kicked dog... lashes out when hes had so much and wont/cant take anymore

“COMING” yeaaaaah i bet....👀

“i stopped taking my medication and i feel a lot better now” GET OUT GET OUT THATS A RED FLAG OUUUUUUUUUUT YOU GO

OOOOOH JOKER’S LAUGH IS OUT - HES MOCKING YOUUUU AND YOU DONT EVEN KNOW IT BOY’S SMARTICLES

this is why arthurs so dangerous. he looks lithe and weak and fragile but he takes down a man twice his size with scissors in one hit

do not underestimate him it’ll be the last thing you ever do

I WANNA LICK THE BLOOD OFF HIS FACE

BRITISH ACCENT ON POINT 

LMAO he’d so mock me for mine 😂

“you were the only one who was ever really nice to me” a moral codeeee; flexible morality like meeee ~ 

okay but he so made gary jump bc he knew gary was too scared to move otherwise

loooooving the gallows humour with the door lock PFFFT

gotham slept on arthur dude’s hilarious

OH OMH OMG OMGOMOMGOMGOMGOMGOKMG JOKER JOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKER

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MY LOVE MY LIFE MY CLOWN MY HUSBAND OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG

IM CRYINGGGGGGGG

JOKERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

JOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKER

I CANT BREATHE FUCK OMFFFFF LOOK AT HIIIIIIM

LOOOOOOOOOK LOOK LOOK ASZDXFCGVHJBKLKJHGFDSZDXFGHJHKJLKJHGFD

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍

MY LOVE MY LIFE MY JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKER

JOKERJOKERJOKER

LMAO HE’D BE GIGGLING AT ME RIGHT NOW OMGGGG

lmao let randall rot there fuck hiiiiiiim (and not in the fun way)

i want Joker to touch my clit like he did the lift button 👀

ohhhhh look at you having fun on the stairrrs

happy babyyyy ~ 

dancing  towards what you believe to be your death

so glad you changed your punchline at the last minute you didnt deserve to die

SWEET FLAWLESS ANGEL I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU

his “oh” when the cops come lmaooooo ~ 

he does that when you grind down hard on him...👀

so used to pain he gets up from being hit by a car and carries on 😔

run baby run...

hes so agile and so quick on his feet

thinks fast too

arthur for fuck’s sake dont you dare stop

you’re almost there, my love.

im so so proud of you

SASSY DANCING ANGELLLL

i love that smug smirk he has and that chuckle omg lmaooooo ~ 

i’d do anything to see you look at me with such pride

ooof you look so angry in the subway but i’d happily cup your face in my hands and smother you in kisses

your eyes red rimmed with tears. youve been sweating and crying ohhhh ~ 

my love omg you didnt want this, you didnt want the riots and you dont know how it spun so outta control and you didnt choose this

i so desperately want to be with you right now

“i dont believe in anything” THATS OKAY I DIDNT NEED MY HEART ANYWAY

I MEAN ITS ALREADY YOURS BUT YOURE STANDING ON IT OUCH

💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

“mm-hm” i love that little noise

“i love dr sally” BITCH YOU HAVE A WIFE AT HOMEEEE

“THATS WHAT YOU CALLED ME ON THE SHOW. A JOKER. DO YOU REMEMBER?” THATS SUCH A DANGEROUS LOOK ON HIS PERFECT FACE LMAO MURRAY HAD ONE CHANCE TO CHANGE HIS MIND AND APOLOGISE AND HE DIDNT EVEN KNOW IT LMAO

fuck ‘em, Joker.

You deserve better

GET

THAT

FUCKING

GUN

AWAY

FROM

YOUR 

FACE

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

all that pain in his eyes....

oh, darling. how did no one see you????

his backstage dancing got me 💦💦💦

hes so ethereal and mysterious, so free yet so constrained, so beautiful and so himself

i love him i love him i love him i love him

smile playing as he comes out on stage lmao even now hes being told what to do and how to act

hes never free

spinny baby

you spin me right round...

he suits the stage so well

lmao woop sexual assault (kissing dr sally without consent) isnt a good move Joker but damn what a first kiss...

never thought i’d be jealous of an elderly woman but here we are 🤡

he looks so good under the lights omg so crisp....

wanna mess and smear it uuuuup

~

you’re all being mocked and none of you fucking know it lmao get wrecked

memory problems bcof the notebook + “get it right” - he really cares

ohhhhhh baby come on change your punchline, come on....

okay but that drunk driver joke does make me giggle lmao it’s so out there and honestly my sense of humour is just as dark as his is

i just sHIVERED 🥵

“arthur” HE SAID CALL HIM JOKER DONT BE RUDE

ohhhhh i’m cryingggg 😭😭😭😭😭😭

i cant watch this without crying ohhhh all that pain, all that suffering and all that anger, confusion and betrayal. a mental breakdown on nat tv and no one sees him. how the fuck are you all so blind?????

“mur-rray” LMAO YOU FUCK MY NAME I FUCK YOURS

SAY IT JOKER IM SO SO PROUD OF YOUUU

hes speaking facts

“they couldnt carry a tune to save their lives” and that eye roll and groan yes we stan a dramatic CLOWN

this is fucking heartbreaking omg “i dont care about anything” but then he rants in the next minute - so unpredictable and dangerous and untamed but so so pretty in his pain so beautiful and so free

but hes not free... not really

“werewolf” as a verb omg only you could make that work

im so fucking proud of you

“youre awful murray” ooooooooh....

LMAO JOKER’S JOKE BLEW MURRAT’S MIND

hes crying and shaking and no one ??? sees him ???? how????

i legit dont understand how people just dont see him? people see what they wanna see but it’s right there???

he seems almost surprised by the fact he killed him

YES GRAB MY FACE LIKE YOU DID THE CAMERA PLEASE

IN THE WHITE ROOOOOOOOOM

UGH I LOVE THIS SONG SO FUCKING MUCH ITS SUCH A FEEL GOOD SONG

GOTHAM IS SO PRETTY WHEN ITS ON FIRE OMG ITS SO ALIVE

I LOVE THE ENERGY THIS SCENE GIVES OFF

ITS LIKE HOW JOKER HIMSELF MAKES ME FEEL

ALIVE

his little “hi” like they can hear him 🥺🥺🥺🥺

his laughter omggg sweet angelllllll ~ 

“i know. isn’t it beautiful?” YES IT IIIIIS

AND SO ARE YOU

OH NO OMG NO NO NOPEEEE

this scene always scares me even though i know hes okay pffffft 

the birth of joker lmao

be careful with him please hes precious cargo

omggg i wanna sit on that car and wipe his blood away and help him to get home so i can patch him up

lmao im a scaredy cat til my loved ones are threatened then i scare up this fawn bites

i wanna help Joker to get help and support

i wanna love him through it all, the good and the bad

his slow dancing always gets me omg it’s arthur, still there, still suffering, still unseen and unloved

hes crying and hes in pain

blood smile - my inside is on the outside now and it still hurts

he didnt want any of this. he chose his name ubt not what came with it

my poor clown...... 

CRYINGGGGGG AGAIN

HIS GENUINE LAUGHTER SENDS ME OMG ITS SO PRETTY

i wanna make him laugh like that

it always makes me smile omg those cute lil hiccups 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

THATS LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFE

i love the audio muted during the scene he sings it omgg it’s so prettyyyy ~ i like to pretend hes singing to me sometimes asdfghjk

metaphorical or literal blood???

hes accepted who he is now.

hes free

dancing in the white light like an angel

i love him i love him i love him i love him i love him i love him i love him i love hiiiiiiiiiim ~ 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

~ THE END ~

#erileck #self-shipping #lmao this was fun

[scatterpatter]

Some expanded thoughts on FF7R under the cut [SPOILERS]

So! Overall I freaking LOVED the remake and I can’t wait to see the rest! Midgar feels so alive and expanded, you really feel attached to everyone, it’s... muah! Honestly a lot of the points I’m gonna make are more nitpicks than anything. I won’t make any commentary on the gameplay because I watched a let’s play instead of playing by myself(im broke and cant afford a PS4 and $60 game >_>)

So the designs are GORGEOUS... no, the entire GAME is gorgeous. Midgar looks so good and detailed, there’s so much great implementation of color theory! Cloud is sooooo good looking!!! Barret and Aerith and Sephiroth are all GORGEOUS! Reno Rude Tseng and Rufus.. AAAA!!! The only slight complain I have is that- okay so Tifa looks AWESOME, but I honestly wish she wasn’t so skinny. Like she’s a melee fighter, but her waist and arms are so thin! I wish they gave her a bit more tone and muscle, but, oh well. I honestly can’t stop staring at the character models they look SO good

Plot-wise, I really like most of the changes/additions they made! Especially with Biggs, Wedge, and Jessie. They’re wonderful and I love them and did I mention that I love them because they’re just so dorky!!! And good!!!

Honestly, I like that Aerith is actually written to be likeable. I know that doesn’t seem like much but a lot of games fall into the trap of telling you that you’re supposed to like the female protag(looking at you, Breath of the Wild) or tell you that she’s a strong character, but they fail to show that, so the player feels like they’re just being told to get attached. Aerith, though, is actually really likeable in this game!!! She’s cute and down-to-earth, really dorky and even snarky, easily seeing past Cloud’s tough-guy act, and she can fight! It’s just so nice to see a game that shows a strong female protag instead of just telling you.

Legit everyone is horny for Cloud and I’m so here for it

Okay so like. I love Roche. I didn’t at first but he quickly grew on me. He’s so awfully chaotic and I just- I love him. I’m mad that he was just kinda forgotten, though. Like! He could’ve shown up at the ending chase!!!

THEY REALLY WROTE HOJO TO BE AS CREEPY AS POSSIBLE HUH. Like I’m not complaining because like he’s basically the reason why everything happened, but! Ahhhh he makes me squirm he’s a creep with a gross science fetish and I wanna stab himmmmm

Okay so. President Shinra is a little bit TOO stereotypically evil? Like having a gold statue of himself and not even caring about sabotaging one of his own reactors when one little console gets destroyed??? Like it’s almost comical how evil he’s written to be. Though, I do like the scene where he calls Barret out on his ideals, that was neat!

Nowww, Heidegger Scarlet Palmer and Reeve? MUAH. Heidegger and Scarlet are written so sadistically but like in such a likeable way, especially Heidegger. God I hate them both but you just love to hate them!!! Palmer is HILARIOUS- I love how he’s written to be the spoiled kid whose parents forced the other kids to include him so he’s just there even though he doesn’t do anything. And Reeve? Well...

SO REEVE IS MY FAVORITE ATM SINCE WE DON’T HAVE VINCENT YET, AND REEVE IS JUST... <3 <3 <3 Okay so first off, his design is perfect. He doesn’t really stand out in the same way that Heidegger Scarlet and Palmer do. He just has a normal build, normal suit, normal hair slicked back- he just looks like a normal employee, totally inconspicuous... which is very fitting considering how he ends up being undercover and needs to look inconspicuous ;)

Though Reeve shows clear signs of overworking himself and being emotionally abused by his coworkers which... sucks. I mean it’s good writing but I feel so awful for him- Like you know it’s bad when someone just has to hold up a hand to get you to shut up and sit down. I like that he tries to do good things but steps down when he’s told to, that he’s empathetic but cowardly. It does a great job at setting up his character arc in future chapters <3

Okay so one thing- I thought the build-up for the plate dropping was amazing, but honestly... the plate itself falling was slightly underwhelming, to be completely honest. Like- I just didn’t feel the impact that a plate falling would have! Mainly because, you don’t see a single death which is interesting. Like you see people running from falling debris, but legit not a single death is implied. Honestly? I thought the scene would have been far more impactful if they showed:

Seventh Heaven actually being destroyed

The people topside reacting to the ground beneath them collapsing and them falling to their deaths(They only tried to evacuate Sector 7 slums! Not the topside!!!)

More people actually being implied to have been crushed(No, Im not counting Wedge). Like in the original FF7 there’s a scene where someone’s watching tv and you see the plate falling from outside the window- and there’s a reporter just doing his normal shit before he suddenly looks up and things go to static- like- thats an intense scene and I wish the remake did more stuff like that!

They do great showing people REACTING to the plate falling which is why its so appalling to me that they dont show much of the actual devastation DURING plate fall

I LOVE that Cait Sith shows up at the plate falling! It shows that Reeve actually tried to warn people(something he asked to do and was denied earlier), even if he was too late. The only problem I have is that new players who dont know who Cait Sith is will be horribly confused as to who and why he’s there???

Also, when the crew goes back to Sector 7, you don’t really... feel the impact right away. Keep in mind, an entire section of city just fell onto another section of city WITH the supports holding it up, there should have been way more rubble. Yet, the area where Seventh Heaven is just... looks like it was hit with a major earthquake. There should be way more rubble, like mountains of it. It’s weird since the opening cinematic really captures the scope of how huge Midgar is, but the plate falling just doesn’t really show the scope of how much devastation there was to losing an entire plate.

The scope of it is done a bit better when climbing up Sector 7, but I still feel like the weight and scope of destruction isn’t lived up to its full potential.

Okay so- Wedge and Biggs. ... Yeah, it takes away from the impact of their deaths to have them not die. I mean, I can’t make a total opinion on this just yet, because the other parts haven’t come out yet, but... if FF7R is gonna keep them alive, they better have a good reason for it tbh.

They might have done a little bit too much foreshadowing with Cloud and Aerith? Like I like Cloud having memory issues, it’s kept pretty vague... but him going “Mother?” with Jenova is a little bit too spoiler-y. Like yeah you gotta tease his whole thing but like- don’t give it away this soon!!!

I also don’t mind Seph showing up as much as he does. Like, in the original, you don’t even hear about him until close to the end of the Midgar arc. Obvi since the remake ONLY covers the Midgar arc so far, I totally understand bringing him in sooner. Again, having the clones existing might be a little too spoilery for the big twists later on, but I can let it slide since it’s still treated as very “wtf” and I’m sure anyone new to the story hasn’t put it together yet.

Did I mention how much I love Seph he’s so creepy and his eyes are gorgeous and he’s so intimidating by just being there

And the Whispers... I honestly didn’t like them. I kept forgetting that they existed honestly. They just feel so... detached from the plot. I don’t mind adding new content/story, but the Whispers just... didn’t feel well-implemented. They also felt really campy towards the end. Like, the fact that they could un-stab Barret and shield Avalanche from car accidents while they were escaping? They were legit like “no you can’t die even if you tried because fate” and takes away any tension of the scene because... well, they know they cant die.

That being said, the ending was interesting. I uh. It was interesting! So they actually defeat fate itself in order to change... who knows what. The future, maybe even the past??? I’ve got many thoughts on this

If the future is changed, that can be exciting since people who know the original’s plot won’t know what’s gonna happen next so like- okay!

If the past was changed... y’all know I’m talking about Zack. Was fate changed so that he could live? Keep in mind, we see Whispers surrounding Midgar before they dissipate and Zack’s like “ohey did I get all of em?”, implying that fate would have forbade Zack from ever getting to Midgar. Having the team defeat fate means... Zack may have now reached Midgar. 

Is alternate reality/timeline stuff going to happen now???

Cloud’s character revolves around Zack dying. What’ll happen to Cloud now???

I feel so bad for people new to the plot who don’t know who Zack is.

Nomura... you madman.

So with the ending... Nomura and Squenix is setting something up. They’re going for something huge. I uh. I fear, honestly! Because this could very likely get WAY too ambitious and WAY too confusing(Think Dream Drop Distance’s bullshit plot), and could totally fall on its face and end up being Squenix’s biggest flop of all time. But... if this succeeds and they actually pull off whatever they’re trying to pull... holy shit. I would be floored.

I honestly am a bit afraid that the plot will be too confusing for new players. Like- no one would know whats going on with Zack unless they knew the original plot, so like while this would be a great game for FF7 fans, I’m really worried that it won’t be a good game for people new to the series.

Cloud in a dress is the greatest thing and I’m so happy they kept that scene I love him so much the entire scene is so queer <3

But overall, despite some nitpicks, it was a SUPER SOLID game and I’m soooo hype to see where they go with it! I wanna see Cait and Yuffie and Cid and Vincent!!!!!!!!!

#ff7r #I RAMBLE A LOT #ff7r spoilers

[mirkwoodshewolf]

A day at Disneyland; Chris Hemsworth x reader

*Author’s note*

Hello and good afternoon everybody! So this is a request that I have had done for the past couple of days but I’ve been on a deadline with another request that I’m trying to get done before their bday tomorrow (I’m about half way done with it) but this one is probably my first ever Hemsworth story I had ever done (So I’ve done half of the Chris quartet). Now my knowledge of Disneyland is minimal to none cause I’ve never been to Cally so the only Disney experience I’ve had is Disneyworld down in Florida, but I hope I still did some justice for this fic.

No warnings except PURE, UNADULTERATED, TEETH-ROTTING G RATED FLUFF!!!

Taglist:

@psychosupernatural

@ixchel-9275

@plethora-of-things

@waddles03

_______________________________________________________

I was packing up the car getting ready to prepare for the 2 and a half hour drive to downtown LA so that the kids and I could go to Disneyland.  My name is (y/n) (l/n) and I’ve been a single mom for three years.  My ex-husband and I were having some problems, constantly fighting until finally one stupid mistake on his part landed him in the LA prison.

Furious and disappointed, I filed for divorce because I didn’t want his bad influence to affect our children and it was hard on us, especially my eldest son Dean.  He and his daddy were close ever since he was born, but when I was forced to tell him that his daddy wasn’t ever gonna get out of prison, it was hard for him to cope.

It was tough raising not only 2 growing boys but a newborn baby girl at the same time.  My little girl, Leia will never get to know her father because of his stupidity and I don’t want to expose her to him. At first I thought I’d never get to have the father figure my kids needed because it was just me and my sister and my mom who was helping me raise my kids, my dad sadly passed away due to a stroke shortly after my second son Henry was born.

That was until by sheer luck of fate as I was coming home from the store when I accidentally dropped all my well-paid food, that a handsome blonde stranger came into my life.

I had no idea at the time who he was until Dean (whose obsessed with all things superheroes both Marvel and DC) that when we saw the second Avengers movie Age of Ultron, it was shocked to see that it was him.  Chris Hemsworth.

We kept in contact and whenever he wasn’t too busy, he’d come over for a visit and we’d have a couple of dinners.  Soon couple dinners turned into months’ worth of dinners, then starting a relationship until just recently about a year ago he moved in with me and the kids.  Right now he was busy filming “Avengers: End Game” down in his homeland of Australia.

One night as we were all facetiming with each other, Chris had given us a surprise.  He said that he and the entire cast would be in Disneyland to help promote the film and not only that, he got all four of us tickets to go throughout the park and spend an entire day at Disneyland.  The kids were so excited that they were finally gonna go to Disneyland, especially my little girl since she’s finally big enough to ride some of the rides.

Which leads us to here.  As I was putting the bags into the car I said.

“Dean, don’t forget to bring your chargers okay?”

“Yeah mom.”

“Leia, do you got your Simba plushie with you?”

“Right here mommy.” She exclaimed as she held out her stuffed Simba plushie that Chris had given her last Christmas.

“Henry you’ve got your lightsaber right?”

“Yeah, do you think I could really fly the Millennium Falcon?” he asked me.

“We’ll see. Okay Got the bags, toys, gaming consuls, DVD is all set up. Everyone got everything?” My kids all cheered out in choir unison. “So whose ready to go to Disneyland?” they all cheered and raised their hands and I continued, “Alright. Tickets are in my purse and off we go!” I started the car and started up the installed DVD player which played Leia’s and Henry’s favorite movie “Hercules”.

Thankfully with the help of a movie and Dean busy playing on his Nintendo, there wasn’t much complaining from the kids (which was perfect for me).  Finally after the long drive, we finally reached the archway of the entrance into Disneyland.

“We’re here! We’re here! Look over there I can see Woody!” All my kids were in pure awe as we drove under the archway, I could just feel from the front seat the energy these kids were about to unleash.  I was now waiting in line to pay for parking and when I had gotten up I greeted the worker and handed her my license and money.

But when she saw my picture she handed me not only my license but the cash back as well and she told me.

“No payment necessary ma’am, we’ve actually been told of a special reserve spot for you to go to.” At first I was confused but then it dawned on me.

“That Aussie I tell you what.”

“One of our workers will escort you to your special reserved spot.” It was then another worker came up and he asked if he could hop into the car so he could be my navigator. I allowed him in the passenger seat and he told me exactly where to go.

We drove around for about 5 minutes till we reached the reserved front corner entrance where standing there with sunglasses on was Chris.  He grinned and waved to us and the kids waved back to him.  I parked in the parking spot and as soon as I turned off the engine, all the kids raced out and glomped him.

 “There are my favorite three little munchkins!” Chris proclaimed as he wrapped his arms around all three of my kids at the same time and even lifted them up and spun them around, making them laugh and cheer.

“And what about me? Am I just the cabbie driver? Or just some old maid here to serve your favorite three munchkins?” I teased.  Chris set my kids down and he said.

“On the contrary, you my lady are the beautiful good witch who protects and nurtures them. A witch that has put even a god like me under her spell.” He wrapped his arms around me, swaying me gently from side to side grinning down at me.  I grinned up at his sweet talk before our lips joined together only to be disrupted when a choir of voices cried out.

“EWWW!!!!” We separated to see all three of my kids with a look of disgust on their faces.

“Ahh no it’s not gross. Be patient soon enough all of you will be doing this.” Said Chris.

“Over my dead body.” I mocked.  “I want my babies to stay this young forever! Especially my little man.” I said as I walked up to my kids before hugging my eldest son close.  I swarmed his face with kisses and ruffled his ‘lion mane’ like hair that he inherited from his father.

“Mom! Mom, you’re messing with my mane!” Dean cried out as he tried to get out of my embrace. When I finally released him he backed away and tried to readjust his hair to that sweep-over hair that looked like it belonged back in the 1980’s.

“I need to plan an appointment to get your haircut mister.”

“No!” he then raced over to Chris and hid behind him.

“No worries mate, I won’t let any barber cut this hair of yours.” Chris said as he stroked my son’s hair.

“Coming from the very man whose worn the same long blonde wig for years.”

“Hey the last few movies I didn’t have to wear one. But this meeting isn’t about haircuts, now whose ready for a full fun day at Disneyland?!” The kids all raised their hands crying out ‘me! Me! Me! Me!’ “Awesome, already got our tickets, so let’s go out there and have a full day of family fun!” We all cheered before racing onward into the park.

There were so many rides that it was almost impossible to pick just one.  However my daughter who has always favored the merry-go-round no matter whether it was a state fair, amusement park or whatever, anytime she saw a Merry go round she wanted to go on it.

So as a nice little warmup, we all got in line for the merry-go-round.  We waited for I don’t know 5-10minutes in line before they let the next several people to go aboard.  My sons went straight for the two twin black horses while my baby girl went for a white stallion with a pink saddle on it.  As I was about to get on my horse, Chris came up and he said.

“Allow me my lady.”

“Why thank you good sir knight.” I mocked in probably the worst British accent I could muster. I felt his hands go to my waist and he gently hoisted me up and I ended up rising side-saddle but then what I didn’t expect was for Chris to get right behind me.  “Uhh Chris, I don’t think we’re allowed to do this.”

“Relax love, it’ll be okay.” He assured me.  The bell soon sounded off and soon an accordion version of ‘A dream is a wish’ started plaything through the speakers and the ride began.  

All around us, kids were cheering and waving to their parents who were standing along the railings watching their kids ride all by themselves, young couples riding side by side holding hands or riding in the sleighs nonchalantly kissing each other.

I felt Chris take my hands in his and I felt his head gently lean against mine and a kiss at my temple.  I smiled and nuzzled against him as the ride continued to go on.

After the ride we continued to walk around the park riding more rides like the Mad Hatter’s teacup ride, and Toy Story Mania that was until we finally reached the famous Splash Mountain.

“Ohh mom look! Splash Mountain!” Henry proclaimed as he was now riding on top of Chris’ shoulders.  

“I see it Henry.”

“Can we go on that next, please?”

“I guess we can, but I’m not sure if everyone’s tall enough to ride it.” I teased as I looked down at my daughter who was holding my hand.

“Yes I am mama! We measured me last month! I’m big enough.” She said as she pulled on my hand.

“Ohh that’s right, well let’s get a second opinion from the official park height measurements.” We all headed over to the line entrance of Splash Mountain and Leia immediately went up to the height chart.  “Okay, now stand still baby girl.” She hummed happily as she could barely contain her excitement. “No cheating now.” I told her in my mom voice and that made her stand still.

In the end, she was eligible to ride Splash Mountain.

“Okay, everyone stick together now.” Leia cheered happily and her brothers high-fived or fist-bumped her and even Chris did a double fist bump with her as he cheered and picked her up.

“Alright that’s my girl! I told you were growing like a weed!”

“Okay everyone let’s get into the line before it gets too long.” We all got in line and we waited. After what felt like forever and the kids complaining about when the line would move faster, hanging off both mine and Chris’ hands and arms, we finally got closer to the ride.  Since there were five of us we decided to divide up the group, I took Henry and Leia while Chris and Dean rode together, being the big boys that they were.

I got in the log first with the help of the ride attendant and I told Leia to get in first so that way she would be in the middle and Henry could ride up front.  Once we were buckled in and the guy gave us the all clear and the worker at the controls gave a thumbs up and soon we were off.

We went along the trail before going up the first hill.  Hearing the ticking of the controls as it took us up higher and higher before finally dropping us downward on the small uphill.  We were all cheering and laughing as we allowed the current to push us faster than we did when we first went out.

We were now shrouded in darkness as we were now inside the mountain before we would go off the big hill that would take our picture.

“Is this the big drop yet?” asked Leia.

“Yeah Leia, and watch this, this time I’m gonna have both my hands up in the air!” proclaimed Henry.

“Just make sure you don’t unbuckle yourself Henry.” We soon saw the light at the end of the tunnel and I said as I hugged my daughter’s waist. “Here we go.” As soon as we went off the drop-off we all screamed before finally splashing down at the bottom, getting soaked with water.  Both my kids were laughing and clapping. “So Leia, was it everything you thought it would be?”

“It was better mama! We went up and up and up till we went SHOOSH!!” I smiled down at her and I saw Henry was about to get out as soon as we saw the exit point.

“Hold on Henry, wait till we come to a complete stop.” Another worker soon placed their foot on our log and she said.

“Please watch your step as you exit the log, and we hope you have a good rest of your day at Disneyland. And don’t forget about our fireworks show tonight at 8pm in front of Cinderella’s castle.”  She helped my kids out and I got out on my own with a bit of help from her.  As we collected our stuff, we waited at the bottom of the exit point for Chris and Dean.

A few minutes later we saw them coming down (well Dean was more like racing down while Chris was the one walking).

“Did you boys have fun?”

“You bet we did, and how about you Princess? Was it exciting?” Chris asked as he scooped up my daughter and she laughed giddily.

“It was soo much fun, can we go on it again?”

“Maybe later, for now let’s go see our pictures.” He answered.  We walked further down the trail till we reached the giftshop and went up to the picture booth and waited and that’s when I pointed out for Henry and Leia.

“Look there we are.” All three of our faces filled with screams or joy.  Henry as promised had both of his hands in the air and his eyes were wide.  Meanwhile I turned and saw Chris and Dean’s pictures.  Chris had covered Dean’s eyes with his hands while his blue eyes looked like they were about to pop out of his sockets, I couldn’t help but laugh.

“Shall we get a copy?” he asked.

“I don’t know…..”

“C’mon this is my treat.”

“Baby I don’t want to feel like I’m taking advantage of your well-earned—”

“You’re not. This is me treating my lovely girl and her children on a day of fun.” He pecked my cheek before turning to the kids giving them the signal to back him up.

“Please mama, please!” They all ganged up against me giving me the puppy dog eyes, Chris included as he had all my kids in his arms looking right up at me.

“Ohh…..alright.” The kids cheered and then turned to Chris telling him what they wanted.  In the end Dean got a keychain, Henry got a small picture frame and Leia got a small locket, and Chris got him and I a copy of a picture frame of our picture.

After a few more rides, we all began to get hungry so we found ourselves a nice little food court restaurant called “Mickey’s Italian shop”.  As we ordered out food, like you would see on Youtube of the characters coming up to the guests just to hang out with the customers.

So we ended up having Mickey and Pluto coming over to our table.  Pluto being my daughter’s favorite Disney dog was thrilled and gave him a big hug and of course Pluto hugged her back before using that tongue that always hangs out to give her a ‘doggy kiss’.  It was so adorable that I just had to get a picture of them together, I also got some pictures of my boys with Mickey and Chris took one with me, Pluto and Mickey.

The day continued to press on and soon it was nightfall and everyone gathered at Cinderella’s castle to grab the best spot for the fireworks show that was about to happen in the next 7 minutes.  Even with the crowd of people that were already sitting down, we still managed to get good enough seats to still see the castle’s full stature.

After waiting a few more minutes the lights went off and we all cheered as the castle first lite up a lightshow for us.  Showing images and clips from various Disney films as ‘Circle of Life’ blared from the speakers.  Chris and I looked at each other before leaning against one another watching the light show and seeing the kids stare in awe.  Then the big event happened.

A giant red firework shot up and exploded into the sky.  Everyone oohed and ahhed as more fireworks began to fly into the sky before exploding into various colors and sizes.

“Did you have a good time love?”

“This was the most wonderful time I’ve ever had at Disneyland. Even when I was a kid, it didn’t compare to this.”

“I think this might get a little more interesting.” He said.  I was about to ask him what he meant by it but he pressed a finger to my lips and turned my chin back toward the sky.  We continued to watch the fireworks but then something happened I had never seen happen at a Disney firework show.

One firework that went off created an image of Mjolnir, Thor’s famed hammer before three fireworks fired off immediately spelling out.

“YOU AR WORTHY TO ME.” My jaw slowly dropped and I felt my heart stop.  Soon another phrase spelled across the sky, “WILL YOU LET ME BE WORTHY OF YOU?” I turned to Chris who now stood on one knee holding out a small ring.  A spotlight came down onto us and I could hear everyone gasp and cry out around us.

“(Y/n), these past few years have been the best years of my life. I didn’t think I would be happy, until you came into my life. Will you make me the happiest man in the world, and marry me?” he opened the box revealing the ring sparkling under the spotlight’s bright light.  I was in tears as I was covering my face with my hands.

Everyone around me, including my kids telling me to say yes.  I nodded rapidly and kissed him with as much passion as I could muster while all around us, everyone was applauding and my kids cam around us and hugged us.

“Ladies and gentlemen we’d like to have the honor of introducing Thor himself, Chris Hemsworth and his new fiancée!” I cupped his cheeks and he kissed my forehead, down my cheek before reclaiming my lips with his.

#chris hemsworth #chris hemsworth x reader #chris hemsworth imagine #chris hemsworth imagines #marvel #marvel actor #marvel actors #actor imagine #actor x reader #actor imagines #actor fanfic #chris hemsworth fanfic #chris hemsworth fanfiction #actor fanfiction

[newcaptainofsquad9]

Notice Me!~Kim Junmyeon/Suho x Black! R&B Star! Fem! Reader {2}

Previous Parts: 1  2 3

Pairing: Suho x reader

Summary: With your support sent out to EXO as a fan and a potential collaborator, you awaken to a massive wave of support from your fans, along with fellow EXOls. However, a vocal majority of them aren’t too keen about you working with their bias band. All of this anxiety comes to a head as your supports push you towards the idea of a collaboration, including Suho himself.  

Warnings: Toxic fans, racist comments and negative thoughts. 

Writer’s Note: Here’s chapter 2, I hope you guys enjoy and let me know if you want any more EXO fics/series, requests are open! I also want to add that this is purely fictional, I don’t know Halsey (Ashley) personally, so if she acts a little odd I’m sorry. And another thing about this fic and others I write, the Kpop idols speak English, since I don’t want to butcher any translations or Korean words, since I do not speak the language. Maybe in the future, but not now! Thanks!  

Word Count: 1, 583

I could hardly sleep at the sound of my phone buzzing like a madman. Of course the sun peaking through my blinds didn’t help, along with Ashley’s bed hogging ass. Next time I’m taking the couch instead of sharing my bed, jeez. 

I shift over on my back to reach for my phone, it comes to life at my slight touch and overwhelms me with so many notifications I almost tumble from the bed. 

“Mmh,” Ashley groans, “quit moving.” 

She kicks my foot softly, but I don’t react at all, most of my attention is on my phone. 

My Twitter bell icon stays red with a swarm of notifications, messages, likes and retweets. I’m trending, right underneath with EXO and of course BTS. 

“Uh, Ash, look! Look!”

I nudge her a few times before she rolls over with hair stuck to her cheek and a scowl. 

“Y/N, I-I need at least one more hou—”

“Look!” I scold.

We both stay captivated by the tiny screen as Ashley’s finger scrolls down some of the comments. 

They read:

Um, SM we need a Empress Dee Dee/ EXO collab, stat!

Aw, Junmyeon was soo cute, I lowkey ship it!

Finally a Kpop band reaching out for a black artist, I wish someone would follow through too *cough, cough BTS

“Holy shit,” Ashley says, “they really love this idea, did your publicist call you about it yet? Y/N?”

Her voice is drowned out as more of the comments turn sour. 

A lot of them read:

Western Artist X Kpop Artist= trash

Black people should stay with their own music, it wouldn’t mix with EXO’s sound

Gross, please don’t tell me Junmyeon has a thing for that black girl, why not a Korean woman?

They continue to flood my feed, most of them turning more daunting than the rest. 

“Ok, enough Twitter for one morning,” Ashley says as she takes the phone. 

“You’re right,” I say, “I need some more sleep.”

Ashley frowns as I lay back against my pillow and yank the covers up and over my face. 

“Y/N, come on,” Ashley groans, “you seriously gonna let these assholes get under your skin?”

I nod against the sheets. 

“Half of them are right Ash,” I say, “why would any of EXO collab with me? There are many other Kpop artists who are better anyway.”

“Um, but none of them are Empress Dee Dee, are they?” Ashley asks.

I shrug. 

“They aren’t black though, Ash,” I note. 

Ashley gives me an incredulous look. 

“That’s got nothing to do with it,” Ashley growls. 

Her words strike an unexpected nerve within me as I push the covers away and sit back up.

“Nothing?! “ I snap, “Ash, it’s everything to do with it! Racism still exists, even more prevalent now, especially with colorism still at an all time high!”  

Ashley frowns. 

“But I-”

I put a hand on Ashley’s own, the stark contrast of my brown skin and her pale one. 

“I know, I know who are Ashley, but it’s different for women like me, and darker skinned black women,” I say, “I just need you to understand that, please.”

Ashley nods. 

“I do,” she says, “but I need you to understand that it shouldn’t stop you! Don’t listen to what those assholes are saying!”

“Ash—”

“You love music, don’t you?” she asks. 

Her question throws me off, yet I nod anyway. 

“Of course I do,” I say. 

“Then focus on making music, talk to your publicist and agent about that EXO collab!” she declares.

I watch Ashley in half awe, half amusement as she tosses the sheets onto the floor like the drama queen she’s being. Maybe she should shoot for the Academy Awards rather than Grammys next year. 

“You know you gotta pick that up right,” I deadpan while gesturing to the splayed mess of covers below us on the floor. 

Ashley turns her nose up, but softens as she comes around to my side of the bed, sitting next to me and taking my hand.

“Don’t worry about the fucking bed spread and listen to me,” she says. 

I stare at her eyes, there’s this hint of desperation in them, as if I was the one who insulted her. Maybe I was a bit too much in my feelings. She cares about my wellbeing so much that I forget this affects her as well. 

“Promise me that you’ll stay all right through all of this,” she says, gripping my hand skin tight. 

I think of another comeback but save it for later.

“I promise Ash,” I vow, “now can you pick up the damn covers?”

Ashley frowns but rises to gather up the covers anyway.

“There. I’m doing it, now could you please call your publicist?”

A heavy sigh escapes my lips as I reach for my phone on the nightstand. More notifications flood, a few missed calls from Daphne, my publicist and Todd, my agent. Great, now I have to deal with them. 

“I’m calling them back now, Ash,” I announce.

“Awesome,” she calls from the bathroom. 

I decide to go with Todd first, since he left the most missed calls. My heart beats heart against the insistent ring of the phone, it drawing out a bit longer than it usually should. 

“Hello, Y/N!” Todd calls. 

I gulp before speaking.

“Hi Todd, look I-I know I should have contacted Daph first about posting that tweet.”

Todd chuckles through the phone. 

“Y/N, that was a genius move! It seemed really genuine!” he exclaims.

I frown.

“Uh, I was completely genuine Todd, my heart was one hundred percent into it,” I say. 

“Oh, well that makes it even better, because I’ve already got in contact with the producers on the Ellen Show, and since EXO will be there promoting Obsession, we can finally have you both in talks for a collaboration!”

My stomach nearly drops. It’s exciting news, right? Getting to meet my bias band in front of me instead of a tiny computer screen, yet the circumstances got me worried. In front of all those people. Some of them could be any of those people spouting out hateful comments. 

“Er, Y/N,” Todd says, “you heard me, right?”

“I-I u-uh yeah!” I say, “j-just uh, fan girl nerves is all.”

Todd chuckles, but gets back to business as usual.

“No need to worry, it’s all scripted and Ellen has a way of making people calm, especially new guests,” he explains, “but this will really put you on the map! Considering you haven’t made a public appearance since your grammy snub and you’re gonna do it with one of the biggest kpop groups, ever! Don’t let those fangirl nerves get to you too much!”

I manage to cough up a tiny giggle. 

“Of course Todd, thank you.”

“Already have a flight set up for you in the morning, I told you that you’d skyrocket soon, didn’t I?” he asks. 

I roll my eyes but agree anyway.

“I know Todd, bye.”

“Get plenty of sleep, call me when you get there!” he urges before hanging up.

WIth him off the phone I can finally freak out in peace. Well until Ashley returns with her toothbrush a nosy look on her face. 

“Shit, by that face I’m assuming it didn’t go well, did it?” she asks. 

I shake my head and collapse backwards against the sheets. 

“I-It went unexpectedly well,” I admit, “EXO’s gonna be on Ellen for the first time, and I got a spot on there with them.” 

Ashley nearly jumps into the ceiling. 

“Are you fucking serious?!” she exclaims, “it hasn’t even been 24 hours yet!”

I nod against my pillow. 

“Right! God, I-I’m not ready for this,” I groan. 

Ashley shifts closer to wrap an arm around my shoulder.

“You got this sweetie,” she whispers, “I’m gonna take the shower first, that cool with you?”

I nod as she rises. 

“Oh and stay off Twitter,” she says as she goes back to the bathroom. 

Of course I don’t listen as I unlock my phone yet again. My eyes scan through all of the comments: good, bad, ugly and downright unnecessary. My finger stops at a previous V Live EXO recently did, or a clip at least. 

The caption of the video read:

Ya’ll Junmyeon is really out here caring about DeeDee, like a lot! When he gonna pull up 😂😂

I click it and there’s Suho, Baekhyun and Chen with soft looks, unlike the way they looked during their X-EXO concept stage. Beakhyun leans closer to the camera, scanning the comments I assume as Suho frowns. 

“Of course not!” Suho growls, “why would anyone say that?”

“What is it hyung?” Chen asks. 

Suho points at the screen. 

“Someone said that we thought DeeDee was ugly, why would you insult a beautiful woman like that?” he asks in disgust.

My breath gets hitched in my throat at his words. 

Baekhyun frowns this time.

“Aw, why are people making fun of DeeDee?” he groans, “don’t listen to them DeeDee! Stay strong! Keep smiling!!”

Chen nods sharply as Baekhyun continues to yell it obnoxiously.

Suho pushes him until he ceases and looks into the camera intensely. 

“The people who are saying this aren’t our fans, DeeDee,” he explains, “you’re amazing, stay all right, ok? Ok!”

Suho grins as he puts up his finger hearts as his smile widens.

The video ends, yet it doesn’t within my head. EXO actually stood up for me. This has got to be a dream. 

#exo #exo fanfic #exo fanfiction #exo baekhyun #exo suho #exo chen #exo imagines #black reader #black reader insert #black fem reader #exo junmyeon #suho imagines #suho imagine #junmyeon x reader #kim junmyeon #exo kim junmyeon #junmyeon imagine #exo imagine #exo x reader #exo x you #exo au #exo au series #exo au scenarios #exo x black reader #fanfic au #suho x reader #suho x you #exo l #black exo l

[misha-moose-dean-burger-lover]

Movie Night (ft. Cas's t-shirt)

THANK YOU for the ask, Dear Anon! I'm very flattered that you enjoyed the last one, and hope this meets your expectations! I WISH I could tag you in this, but you're on anon so.. Anyways, I went for Tuesday movie night idea, and clubbed it with a 'cute t-shirt prompt' I received and it got long AF but please leave a comment if you read and like!

*

"Ahh," Dean let out a perfect sound of exhaustion meeting the plush comfort of his couch. "It's finally Tuesday."

Sam snorted from the side, because his relationship with tuesdays had been kind of a love-hate. Not that Dean ever took him seriously - he doesn't blame his brother, really, because he wouldn't believe Dean either if he told him 'a piano crushed you to death' or any of those other ridiculous ways in which he'd died.

"If you like movie nights that much," Jack added, from the side - he was settled in one of the big chairs, looking more like a kid than he usually did. "Why don't we watch movies on other nights, too?"

Sam leaped to answer, ever ready to squeeze in a lesson for the nephilim. Good values needed to be a part of the upbringing. Children need to be taught by example. "There's an analogy we can use for this, Jack. Say, uh, Dean loves his birthday very much." Dean frowned at his brother. "Because of the pie, and the gifts, and all the beer." Dean shrugged. "So, he wishes on his birthday candles that everyday be his birthday!" Sam paused, and Dean wondered why he spoke as if he was talking to a kid, and not the strongest 2-year-old ever. "But, what happens then, is that he keeps growing a year older on each birthday - that is, everyday!"

Jack looked alarmed. "That's - bad."

"Yeah, because then I'd grow to be 60 in like a month and die." Dean added, in a deadpan.

"It won't take you thirty years to get to sixty." Sam reminded him.

"Shut up, Sam." Dean scowled and turned back to Jack. "Listen, kid, this isn't about all the good movies in the world getting finished too soon, if we watch 'em everyday. It's more about the attitude."

Jack nodded.

"Like, uh," Dean swallowed. "Like our dad always taught me and Sammy, hunters need to live a disciplined life. Can't just start watching a movie whenever, because that'll make your head feel like you're giving it permission to do crap, just like that, without a routine. That's never good for a hunter - even less so, he'd say, for the sons of an ex-Marine. Messes your head up, and takes away your ability to fixate on your decisions." Dean paused. "It's not like I've not watched movies on a Saturday because I wanted to, but the old man made sense - it's just, a routine is better to stick to."

"That sounds like a horrible amount of behavioral psychology to associate to an activity as trivial as watching a movie." Came a new voice, as Cas stood in the doorframe, his head just slightly tilted as his eyes looked straight at Dean.

Dean's exhale was caught in his lungs, and he blinked, staring at Cas with a chest full of air, and still feeling like he'd sink instead of buoyant. Cas was no longer in the trenchcoat and pants - he wore grey pyjamas which fit snug over his thighs, and a t-shirt which had to be new, because holy fucking shit.

He'd have noticed the angel walking around their bunker, wearing a black AC/DC shirt like that - simple, to someone else, perhaps - yet the way it fit over his biceps, widened his shoulders a bit more, and gave an elevated look to his chest because of the smooth descent to a toned abdomen - rendered Dean incapable of looking away. Complete with his hair sticking up at odd angles, hints of a stubble and inspecting eyes focussed on Dean, he looked like the stuff of Dean's (guilty, oh so guilty) dreams.

"H-hey, Cas." Dean cleared his throat, shifting on the larger couch to make space for him. He waved his hand dismissively to disregard all that he'd just said. "Forget about that, it was crap - come sit down." He suggested, breathlessly.

"Look who finally joined us," Sam addressed, in a normal voice and not even bothering to look up again - making Dean wonder why he didn't get all caught up in Cas's t-shirt, like Dean just had. He was unfairly attractive - but not just to Dean, right?

"I'm sorry," Cas replied, as he sat down next to Dean. Not a single part of them touched, since they were on opposite edges of a large couch Dean originally got for Sam and him - but there was still a tingling under Dean's skin, which had to be Cas's fault. "I couldn't find any socks." He turned to Dean, suddenly smiled, and tugged his pyjama up a little to show him the socks he wore. A pair of fucking novelty socks, they were - but Dean found himself grinning mindlessly, as Cas crossed his legs under him, and the visual was taken away from him.

"Of course, you couldn't." Sam inputted. "Dean hasn't been doing the laundry lately."

"Why am I the only one supposed to do it?" Dean threw back, and Sam didn't say anything to it.

"Nevermind." Cas declared. "I found socks, unwashed though they may be. Let us start." He referred to the movie.

Jack had fell silent for a moment, and he spoke up again. "Yeah! What are we watching today?"

At the same time that Sam opened his mouth - probably to drag Dean on how they better not watch something they'd just watched - Dean spoke up. "We're watching The Fellowship of The Ring, today."

"We just watched that on literally the third Tuesday of March -" Sam complained.

"Listen." Dean threw back. "Don't shove your crazy awesome memory with movies and dates, in my face - 'cause my brain forgot the movie already."

"Forgot? You probably can quote it line by line, Dean." Sam frowned. "But I guess you're not satisfied until you flawlessly recite it in your sleep, like Lost Boys."

Dean flashed his best shit-eating grin, and if that's what he was gonna do, he wasn't gonna agree with Sam. "Well, it's what we're watching, Sammy. Deal with it."

Sam narrowed his eyes. "What about Jack? Or Cas? Why don't you ask them if they want to watch Lord of the Rings again?"

"I do." Jack announced, brightly. "I like Frodo and Samwise Gamgee." Sam rolled his eyes. "But, I could also watch something else. I trust Sam's recommendations, after Harry Potter." He added, faithfully.

"Careful, buddy, Sammy's raising your son to be a nerd." Dean muttered to Cas, and he nodded, as if it was a line that needed to be answered with a nod.

Sam grinned like it was victory handed to him on a platter. "He said he could watch something else, Dean."

"What about Cas?" Dean turned to him, rotating in his seat. "Whadd'ya wanna watch, buddy?"

Cas pursed his lips, as if in deep thought. The deciding element. The one who'd tip the scales in the favor of one of the Winchesters.

"It's not Sophie's Choice," Sam grumbled sourly, as if he already knew what Cas would choose.

"Let him think!" Dean shushed his brother.

"I have reached a decision." Cas informed everyone, looking solemnly at the TV, instead of their faces. "We shall watch The Fellowship Of The Ring, tonight." He turned to Sam. "And if there's no hunts and we're at the bunker tomorrow too, Sam's choice shall prevail - that is, if Dean agrees to go against John's sayings and watch a movie on a Wednesday."

"That's fair." Jack grinned.

Dean beamed at Cas, with his little smile and his goddamn t-shirt, which was gonna drive Dean crazy in due time, he was sure. "See, Sam?" He ignored the comment on his father, because it was rare stilted humor, and in a perfect deadpan.

Sam muttered something under his breath which sounded a little bit like 'profound bond' for some reason, and rolled his eyes in defeated agreement, as Dean began to look for the movie.

"Whatever," Sam substituted, not looking up from his phone as the opening credits began to play. "The three of you can rewatch the entire LOTR series if you want, I'll just leave you to it." He shrugged.

"Hey!" Dean was annoyed. This was family movie night. Sam was supposed to be a part of it too. "Lord of the Rings is right up your alley, nerd. Why're you bitch-facing so hard tonight?"

"Well," Sam chewed on his lip. "It's very long, and I wanted to get to bed for an early night."

Dean narrowed his eyes, and hit pause on the remote just as the elves began to narrate. "Why?"

"No reason." Sam stalled. There was an almost familiar edge to his voice and -

Suddenly, it all made sense to Dean. The dots connected in his head, and Sam's reluctance to watch a three hours long movie was suddenly reasoned.

"Why, Sam?" Cas repeated, intrigued. "Are you alright? Do you not feel well?"

"He feels fine. I know," Dean cut in. "He's got a date." Sam's eyes widened before he vigorously shook his head in denial. "Some virtual crap, I bet, because you don't like to get laid, and an actual date may've involved that - but whatever is your idea of a fun time, hey, I'm not judging."

"It's not a date!" He declared.

"Then it's something like it." Dean shrugged, getting surer, with Sam's panicked expression. He knew his brother well enough to read through this cover. "Tell me Sammy, is this a video call with some chick you met online on those awful sites?"

"Dude, no." Sam balked. "I'm on no such awful site to meet chicks."

"Sure, you're not." Dean narrowed his eyes. "Then, who? Because clearly I'm right about the rest of it."

"It's," Sam looked like he didn't wanna continue, would like nothing better than to not finish the sentence. But with Cas joining in on the stare, he let out a subdued, "Uh, Rowena."

There was a stillness in the room. Dean and Cas slowly exchanged a look, and Sam flushed. "Who?"

"We know her, Dean!" Jack corrected, promptly.

"Not like Sam does," Dean shot at his brother, who looked flustered as crap, and it was all Dean had ever wanted from this conversation.

"Dean!" Sam looked grossed out, while it should've been them. He was the one dating a three hundred years old witch. "We're gonna discuss -"

"- if you're about to tell me you'll discuss a case, I swear to call you on your bullshit by calling Rowena right away." Dean challenged, definitely.

"I -" Sam pursed his lips. "I don't need to have this conversation with you, jerk."

"What about the rest of us?" Cas asked, and there was a smirk playing on his lips, which made him all the more attractive.

"None of you." Sam declared, standing up, looking offended. "You are literally infants! Don't breathe a word of this to anyone, Dean, or I'll - whatever, just watch your frigging movie, I'm out of here."

"If you're gonna do stuff, use headphones!" Dean waited until Sam was far enough to not hit Dean for it and yelled after him, as the latter marched out of the room, embarrassed. It was his duty as the older brother to make that happen, so no issues there. He turned back to Cas, grinning at him - and Jack, of course.

"The rest of us are here without the intention of leaving halfway to call a chick, right?" Dean asked, though it was a pretty stupid question for Jack - and if the answer were yes for Cas, he'd have a major-ass freak out right there.

"Right." Cas confirmed, for some reason; his voice rich and gravelly, and Dean's attention was once again taken by Cas's t-shirt - now that his kid brother was sufficiently out of the picture. True, Jack was still there, but that's a different issue. Dean had to hold a reputation in front of Sam, that he could control his senses in the presence of Cas, and that he could rein it in, and that he could do a lot of things which he was very far from, in reality.

"Me too." Jack announced, brightly, and Dean rolled his eyes.

"Jack, you're two." Cas informed him, and Dean had to stifle a snort at the very notion. Nevertheless, he toned down the weird, made himself comfortable in the couch - maybe shifting a little towards the middle, and let out a small, content sigh, for the second time this evening.

He hit play.

*

“Why do we keep making the same mistake?” Dean groaned, his head falling back on the sofa. Once again, like every tuesday ever - they’d forgotten to get food before they sat to watch the movie. Now, around half an hour in, it was all Dean could think about. But getting up seemed like an awful chore.

Cas nodded his head in agreement, grave and earnest. “It’s because we don’t learn our lesson.”

“Dean, do you want to learn said lesson tonight, by not eating?” Jack asked.

“No.” Dean glared at him. “I may be around Mr. No-Food, and Little-to-no-food, but it isn’t wearing off on me.” They’d not paused the movie to have this discussion, so he kept his eyes on the screen as he spoke. “As a human, I have a few simple needs. Such as beer and something like popcorn to chew as I watch a classic with my - I mean, with you guys.”

“Okay." Cas shuffled in his seat, beginning to stand up. Dean frowned instantly, and pulled him down, gripping his wrist. Cas easily succumbed, and was back on the couch with a surprised little bounce - looking at Dean, confused. "What? I'll get you the beer and popcorn, so that you don't have to get up. I can obviously see you don't want to."

Aww, Dean's brain melted.

"Nope." He said, out loud, popping the 'p'. "You don't need to do that. I'll go."

"I volunteer, Dean. It's not about need," Cas protested. "And you enjoy this movie more than I do."

"Sure, but I've watched it a helluva lot more too." Dean raised his eyebrows, and Cas smiled a little, one of those smiles that he reserved for Dean, and made his insides flutter.

"We could just pause it." Jack suggested, not looking away from the TV yet, for the entirety of the conversation.

"No, you keep watching, there's no need," Dean excused, standing up himself, smiling in spite of himself. Cas looked at him, and not at the screen.

"Dean," And that wonderful voice of his swept over Dean's brain and made the puddle vaporize or some shit.

"Yeah, Cas?"

"I could keep telling you what's happening, while you're in the kitchen." Cas proposed, breaking into a wider smile, all crinkly and toothy.

"Aww, Cas," Dean couldn't stop himself in time, staring blindly at Cas's face and short-circuiting in his head. And instantly cleared his throat, and added in a more composed tone. "Okay, you do that. Thanks, I guess."

Dean wondered, as he walked into the kitchen and went looking for the bacon he'd made earlier, what was up with him tonight. He was usually able to hold his tongue in front of Cas - he was usually able to look away from him, even though it took some persuasion. But there was something today, that had taken away his brain-to-mouth-and-eyes filter.

Must be the new shirt.

Dean knocked, obnoxiously loud, at Sam's door before barging in with a plate of bacon and a beer. He saw Sam fast asleep, on his front, and did not know where to go with that, so he left the table at his bedside in case he was going to wake up and resume his midnight call or something.

Then he took the rest of the food and two beers and went back to the movie room.

All through his venture, Cas had kept yelling updates through the door. "Merry and Pippin just hugged Frodo!", "And now, Frodo just met Bilbo again!", "Arwen is speaking with Frodo now!" This had made Dean grin so hard, that he almost dropped the dishes. Damn, Cas was awesome.

As Dean handed him a beer, and put the plate of bacon between them on the couch, Cas whispered to him. "And Arwen just kissed Aragorn, son of Arathorn."

And Dean stared at Cas, his blue, blue eyes and his eyebrows pinched together in concentration, and his crinkled nose - and his goddamn voice, and his way of speaking, and how he just said the words 'Aragorn, son of Arathorn' like an entire fucking dork, and how adorable it was that he'd been doing a live-commentary for Dean, and just - he was almost overpowered by a desire to kiss the perfect little smile tugging at his lips, and palm the stubble-covered cheeks, and maybe, if Jack weren't here, pull that gorgeous fucking t-shirt over his head, because it was distracting.

Dean was instantly taken aback by his own stream of thoughts. He was clearly going crazy.

He could bet it was the fault of the shirt.

*

Okay, but at this moment, Dean needs the remote.

And it's not just because the remote is on the other side, next to Cas, and Dean's brain instantly launches into a scene in his head, when Dean asks for the remote and Cas is too comfortable (he's already holding onto a large cushion like it's a blanket) to move, and he tells Dean to take it himself - and then Dean will have to lean over Cas to get it, and there'll be a moment where he's almost on top of him, and they'll happen to look at each other, and Cas's eyes will flit down to Dean's lips as Dean adjusts himself to reach the remote, on Cas's lap, and maybe Cas says something like -

That's enough.

Dean doesn't need the remote so that something like that plays out in reality. He only needs the remote to lower the volume, because Jack is asleep and he'll wake up otherwise in the war scene and noise that'll follow.

But this way or that, he can see the said scene happening.

Maybe there's a part of him which wants it to happen exactly how it happened in his head.

Maybe it will.

So, with more energy than the sentence needed, he says, "Cas! I need the remote!"

And Cas turns his head to look at Dean, an incomprehensible expression.

But instead of saying a variation of, 'take it yourself' like he was really, really supposed to -

He picks up the remote with his left hand and hands it to Dean simply.

Dean stares at it for a moment, everything forgotten, especially the reason why he needed the remote in the first place. And then he kicks himself for being a goddamn teenage girl about this, and plays off the disappointment with a 'thank you' in the manliest voice he can conjure, and he's pretty sure it makes up for the kind-of-but-not-really pornography he'd been dreaming up. Sam's irritating voice nags in his head, you're confusing reality with porn again.

Of course, Dean is too lost thinking and staring at Cas sideways when he's sure Cas can't see him - to remember to lower the volume, and Jack wakes up with a jolt at the Uruk-Hai screeching at Gimli the dwarf.

*

Jack's going off to his room. The movie isn't finished yet, but he's been dosing off throughout and Dean can't tolerate the insult to the Classic, so he tells him to just go off to sleep. It's been a long day.

"Will you both watch it whole?" Jack asks groggily, before leaving and Dean looks enquiringly at Cas. He only has to turn his head a little, because Cas is much closer to him now. They've both gravitated towards the middle.

"Of course." Cas answers. "Unless Dean needs to sleep." Dean shakes his head confidently, and Jack nods.

"Okay, goodnight dads." He mutters, at least it sounds like it, and Dean would've lost it if Cas's slight weight leaning on his arm weren't grounding him to his current location instead of somewhere panicky in his head.

"Goodnight, Jack." Dean lets out, and he's aware it doesn't sound as constipated as he thought it would, and he's proud of it.

"Dean." Cas speaks up, a moment later. "I think we should turn off the lights."

"What?" Dean blinks, mildly.

"I know neither of us will want to get up later." Cas justifies. "So we might as well do it now."

"Can't you," Dean grumbles. "Can't you use your mojo to push the switch, or..?"

Cas sighs. Then blinks, and the entire room goes dark. Cas's eyes open, and they're gleaming like blue halos of light in the suddenly dark room - and Dean can still make out his face, in the light of it. It's all hard lines and small smiles, from the little he sees. "I need to remember I can do these things, don't I?" He mumbles.

"Yeah, our human incapabilities are wearing off on ya." Dean tells him and they start looking at the screen again.

"You're not incapable if you have to stand up to turn off the lights." Cas replies, and Dean just hums in response.

A little later, Cas speaks again, and he sounds happier almost. "Dean."

"Uh-huh?" Dean looks away from Gandalf on the screen, to look at the angel.

"Did you notice Jack kept falling asleep?"

Dean pauses. "Oh." He smiles too, it coming over him all of a sudden. "Yeah."

"That means," Cas's tone is bright, and Dean can hear his smile. "He's enough human to fall asleep in the middle of a movie, again."

"Human incapabilities strike again," Dean teases, and Cas chuckles audibly and it's a really, really good moment. Although yeah, it's a bit too domestic for Dean to be perfectly at calm - Cas and he are sitting in the dark, watching a movie they've watched so many times before, discussing the progress of the nephilim they've been raising (with Sam, of course) and Dean has his hand around Cas's seat - in what he now feels guilty on realizing is the oldest trick in every guy's playbook. They're both more in the middle of the couch than not, and the beers have been drained to the last drop. One of them doesn't sleep, the other won't - and then there's Cas's perfect t-shirt, which shall drive Dean to madness each time he sees it, and beyond.

*

Slowly, the arm which is on the couch, falls on Cas's shoulder - and it's a rather rapid course from there to it being slung around Cas, with Cas tucked under it and leaning into Dean so that it's comfortable.

It's not that Cas's head is on Dean's chest, or not even that his fingers are playing with the fabric of Cas's shirt - its just that they're so close to doing that, and somehow Dean can't pull back this time.

Like, he suddenly realizes, he's been doing forever.

It's again, a good thing that he pretty much knows LOTR scene by scene, and in spite of almost completely being distracted by everything Cas, he answers all trivial questions Cas mumbles at him in that deep, deep baritone - and there's a heat pooling in Dean's insides, and he can't quite place if its the spot behind his ribs, or further south.

Both sounds most appropriate.

*

Dean is not proud of this, but he fell asleep.

It's not that he didn't finish the movie, because he did - he remembers the last scene (or it could be from a previous watching that he recalls it) but it's just that he fell asleep right there. Next to Cas.

No, not even next to him. Pretty much wrapped around him. And somehow that's - not so wild, after all. It kinda feels awesome. Its not even morning yet, so he has more hours.

He wakes up with his hair tickling his breath and coughs mildly when he realizes that he'd buried his nose in Cas's hair - and his lips on his head, apparently. He straightens, but is sure to not make much movement - because Cas doesn't sleep like they do, he rather drifts off to a sorta-catatonic state but stays very much awake and alert. He doesn't want to wake Cas up, because the angel looks so comfortable, nestled on Dean's chest - that it somehow invokes a feeling of pride in him.

And love.

And that's that. The not-freaking-out segment of this story abruptly comes to an end, and Dean clenches his fist to stop himself from beginning to tremble.

He ends up with a fistful of that goddamn shirt which Dean blames for everything in that night, and Cas stirring awake, and straightening. The weight rested on Dean's abdomen is lost, and it feels weird and colder.

"It's seven minutes to four. Ante Meridiem." Cas announces, in a voice which is roughened by lack of use.

"You should go back to sleep." Dean begs, because Cas doesn't need to see Dean get anxious about the whole pile of feelings he's beginning to feel crushed under.

"Dean." Cas says, in that voice, and straightens some more. He's at Dean's height again, and their noses are inches apart, and Cas looks worried about him. "Dean?" He repeats, and he's concerned, and he's perfect, and his voice is something else, and the way he looks at him is something else like Dean is worthy of all his attention somehow - and the emotions are brimming and he doesn't know what to do with them until he -

He jerks himself ahead, and grabs Cas's shirt for good measures, pressing his lips against Cas's.

It's a moment of bravery, it's a moment of impulse, and it's a moment of utter stupidity because Cas doesn't react -

Until he does, and he kisses back, and he's excited and into it and Dean's taken aback by his vigor and in awe of his own hands which are grappling at Cas's t-shirt for friction as he moans into Cas's mouth.

"I blame the t-shirt," He whines, when they pull away, to look at each other better. And he does.

Of course, he's not an idiot (except for the many times that he is). But what he definitely isn't, is dense enough to not realize that this had been over ten years in the making.

These urges were familiar, and suppressed each time - the sudden feelings were overpowering, except he'd learn to deal with them tactfully, by crushing them with every means possible.

But what had changed today and he'd actually acted on it instead of swallowing it, had to be the tee. It fit like magic, and it perfectly showcased his lean, muscled chest - and gave a peak of his collarbones, and if he stretched, his obliques - and it was as black as his hair in the dark, and ah, it had to be the shirt.

Because otherwise, he didn't know what it could be, that had made tonight - today - this.

Cas still had his hand on Dean's bicep. "This one?" He looks down at himself. "I got it from your closet months ago."

"What -"

"And, you blame it?" He repeats.

"No," Dean shakes his head, anxiously, truthfully as he captures his lips in a kiss again. Slotting in place against each other, and as loving as they were passionate - he had had no idea that kissing Cas would be this amazing. "I love it. I'm gonna need you to keep wearing it. On Thanksgiving, I'm gonna be thankful for it."

Cas laughs against Dean's lips, and says something which is lost in the bliss of the moment.

Nevermind. He has all the moments after this, to listen to him. But he only has this one, at the end of a Tuesday movie night, to enjoy their first kiss (he's pretty sure all the short, little kisses just make up one major kiss). So he does.

*

Edit: Thank you for reading! Would like to tag @iamcharliebradburylevelperfect @awkward-penguin-in-a-trenchcoat @all-or-nothing-baby @styggtroll @notyoursweetbaboo @moderatelypanickedbisexual @but-for-the-gods-three-days and @emmii4 ! If you don't wanna be tagged, I'll remove you from the list, just ask! Have an awesome day!

#supernatural #season 14 #spn #destiel #ac/dc #supernatural season 14 #not spoilers #sam winchester #dean winchester #castiel #jack kline #the end #casdean #destiel fluff #lord of the rings #destiel kiss #destiel crack #samwena #implied destiel #angel cas #domestic destiel #mutual pining #sheya shall deliver #i wrote a thing #writing prompts #john winchester #john winchester's a+ parenting #deancas #dean and sam

[talpup]

Light In the Darkness: 20

Please remember this fic is rated mature and has warnings of violence, abuse, sexual tension, eventual sexual behavior, and other possible triggers.

***If you prefer reading off AO3 here’s the link for that: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20887595/chapters/55300054

Sorry about the delay, life and writing Erase the Shadow got a hold of me and I completely forgot about updating.  Thanks to @captncappuccino for reminding me.

Thank you to those who have left hearts.  And a special THANK YOU to those who have recently left comments or re-blogged. They really mean a lot.

Taglist: @captncappuccino

20.1

It had been a little less then a week since the attacks on the four Magic Knights bases.  The day following the attack Jax had informed them that the Green Mantis, Coral Peacocks, and Purple Orcas had also been attacked at the same time their base had been.  By the attackers dress and what those at Magic Investigations had learned the reason given for the attacks had been surmised as a gathering of outlaw gangs and other nefarious criminals attempting to appear as Spade Kingdom Sorcery Lances in the hopes of war between the Clover and Spade kingdoms thus allowing them to freely do as they pleased. Beneath their robes the attackers had worn the usual dusty, tattered garb one would expect a member of an illegal gang to wear.  There had been other such evidence that supported the conclusion by Magic Investigations but Teris refused to listen to it.  She knew the truth.  Or at least some of it.  Why Alowishus Spade had given up so many of his followers lives for such a ruse was beyond her.  If he truly was a Zealot surely the Spade Kingdom couldn’t be blamed for his actions even if, as his name suggested, he was a descendant of the kingdoms first ruler.  That was unless the current King of the Spade Kingdom or some other high ranking official had sanctioned Spades actions.  The possibility gave her a chill but no worse then what possible reason the Wizard King had for keeping the truth silent.

Despite all that had happened things at the Black Bulls base had returned to normal, that was other then the fact that Bronn, Olsen, Iban, and Yami were still away on mission.  Even the great room looked as if nothing had happened.  As did Teris’ bedroom which she wasn’t sure how she felt about.  It wasn’t that she had trouble being comfortable in the room or getting to sleep.  It just seemed that something visible should have changed; kind of as a marker or symbol for the change that had happened inside her.

“Teris.” Venice called as Teris exited the bedroom.  “You sure that’s all you need?”

Teris came back to herself and turned to her friend.  “Yes,” she nodded.

“I know you’re not the typical girl.  Neither am I.  But I gotta say, that’s not much.  I came up here with you to help you take your bags down and find I’m not needed,” Venice said.

“You’re always needed.”  Teris said only half teasing.  “Besides, whatever I forgot or need that isn’t at Nova House I’ll buy in town.”

“Right.” Venice rolled her eyes.  “Sometimes I forget you’re a rich royal.”

“A greater complement could not be given.”  Teris said her tone joking but feelings serious.  “I won’t be long.  Three days at most. Hopefully.”

“Home that bad, huh?”

Teris looked around.  “This is home.”

“And don’t forget it.  I’d be lost without you.  Having Abril as the only girl again would be awful.”

“I heard that.”  Abril called from her bedroom.

“Get over here and tell Teris bye.”

“Bye.” Abril shouted.

“Bye.” Teris called back laughing.  To Venice she said.  “Let’s not make a big deal out of this.  It’s not like I’m going on a dangerous mission.”  She stopped and looked out the window that had a clear view of the wooded path that lead up to the main house.

“It’s alright.”  Venice said stepping behind and bumping her with a shoulder.  “Yami will be back soon.  Probably before you return even.”

“I hope so,” Teris said.  “Still--”

“Still, it would’ve been nice if he got back before you had to leave.” Venice went on when Teris had fallen silent.  “Yeah, I know.  I’ll tell him you miss him and dreamt of his return though.”

“You wouldn’t.”  Teris told eyes widening.

“Then hurry up and get going,” Venice smiled.  “The sooner you leave. The sooner you’ll get back.”  She wrapped her arms around herself and sighed.  “Oh!  Yami!  How I missed you.”  She furrowed her brow and deepened her voice, “I missed you too.  How about a kiss?” She puckered her lips and made kissing noises.

“Gross.” Abril yelled from her room.  “Be gone already.”

20.2

The Black Bulls had rushing out of the dining hall to greet Bronn, Olsen, Iban, and Yami upon their return during dinner the same day Teris had left.  Venice had already made the others swear not to tell Yami where Teris was till he had asked and now waited for his query.

When didn’t come Venice demanded.  “When are you going to ask about Teris?”

Yami turned to her and blinked.  “She’s not here?”  He asked despite having noticed her absence immediately and made a show of looking about the great room.  “I guess she’s not.”  He shrugged.

“Enough teasing Yami.”  Venice ordered.  “She’s not hiding somewhere. She’s really not here.”

“Okay.” He said and turned to Gendry to ask about Pilfer and Mooshu.

“She’s away visiting family.”  Venice told harshly.

“Something about the annual Nova, Silva family meeting.”  Tobin added.

At that Yami visibly tensed.  He wanted to yelled at Venice and Tobin to shut up.  He wanted to shout back that he hoped she and Nozel had a good time.  He wanted to forget that he had every heard Nozel say the word Intended.  Instead he asked Gendry.  “Pilfer or Mooshu give you any trouble?”

Gendry could barely look at Yami while Bran ran out of the room.  “Was it something I said?”  Yami asked looking at the others.

Hands on hips Venice asked.  “You really don’t care?”

“No.” Yami growled turning and stepping to her, Venice being forced back a step by the waves of angry irritation coming off him.  “I really don’t.  And, I really wish you’d quit yapping about her.”

Venice looked at him deflating.  “Yami.  What happened?”

Yami turned away but Venice could have sworn she heard him mutter, I grew up, under his breath.

20.3

Dinner at the Nova House was it’s usual quiet, emotionally strenuous affair.  Lord Jaxon Nova had not been well enough to join his children at the dinner table but Fyntch had assured Julius and Teris that he would be well enough to receive and welcome the Silva’s when they arrived on October first.

As they retired to the parlor for tea and sweet cakes Fyntch commented to his sister.  “You’ve grown.  Are you sure the gowns you left in your wardrobe still fit?”

“Don’t know.”  Teris said taking a seat by the window, away from the fire.

“Well you certainly didn’t bring enough luggage to have packed proper clothes.”  Fyntch said taking the seat their father usually sat in by the fireplace.

“Don’t sit there.”  Teris told shaking her head.

“Why not?”  Fitch asked.  “It’s not as if he’s using it this evening.  I often sit here while the two of you are off following your dreams and I’m suck here caring for father alone.”

“No one asked you to take over that role.”  Teris said thinking her brother was far from alone in a house full of servants who likely tended to their father while Fyntch did as he pleased.  “I would have--”

“What?” Fyntch asked turning to her.  “Given up the only chance you have at becoming useful to the kingdom so you can subvert my authority and not see yourself banished for it?”

“You have no authority over me.”  Teris said uncomfortably.

“I have the right of heir.”  Fyntch said lifting his chin.  “Don’t I Julius.”

“Don’t involve me in your argument.”  Julius said staring dully at the fire from his seat on the sofa.

“I wasn’t involving you in anything.  I was simply asking you to tell the child that--”

“I’m not a child,” Teris snapped.

“With that temper you sure sound like one.”  Fyntch tossed back.

“Leave her alone,” Julius moaned.

“You’re such the hero Julius.  Your little sister faces three days with the family she is bound to join; and the thought over the remaining three years she has left before that happens is distressing her and all you can muster is a simple irritated plea.  That’s more for yourself than her benefit.  Tell me, Julius, do you care for the people you hope to lead the way you do our sister?  If so you’re bound to make a wonderful Wizard King.  Though, if I’m honest, anything you do has to be better then the first son you made.  Giving up your heir-ship.  Leaving your family in it’s greatest hour of need.”

“Stop it!”

Julius stood he could barely look at Teris who had pleaded on his behave, crying out for Fyntch to cease.  “I’m not in the mood for dessert.”  He said and quit the room.

Teris stood as well and made to follow.

“Wait.” Fyntch called.

She stopped but didn’t turn back.

“I’ll be sending in one of the maids first thing tomorrow to see you measured for proper outfits,” Fyntch said.  “Can’t have you looking like the mess you are now when your future family arrives.”

Teris turned.  “You can’t wait to be rid of me.  Can you?”

“No,” Fyntch said.  “I cannot.”

“And what did I ever do to you to make you hate me so?”

Fyntch thought of the love and favor their mother had shown her.  The attention and help Julius had given her.  Of their father asking for her and calling her name during his unaided lucid moments.  “Exist.

20.4

Yami couldn’t sleep.  He knew it would be difficult once they returned and he was faced with Teris but he never imagined just being in the place they had inhabited and shared so time together much would bring it’s own difficulties.  Every room he walked in, every seat, every corner, everywhere brought to mind some image of her.  Whether it was them talking, or him having watched her play around with another Black Bull, or simply her passing through.  Every place in the house seemed to carry a bittersweet memory for him.

He had thought once he had gotten upstairs to the boys wing and the sanctuary of his own room he would be free from her ghost but it followed him in there with the thoughts and dreams he had had of her. Restless, he got up and made his way downstairs thinking some fresh air would do him good.  He found himself jealousy grateful for Teris absence, telling himself that by the time she returned he had to have himself under control.

“Gendry? What are you doing here?”  Yami asked seeing the man at Pilfer’s kennel petting the Saber Wolf.

Gendry smiled weakly.  “He howls at night if I don’t come see him,” he told.  “He misses her.  We all do.”

Yami sucked in a breath thinking for a moment that he was referring to Teris and could hardly disagree, he hadn’t stop howling on the inside since his talk on the mountain with Bronn and Olsen.  But he quickly realized that Gendry was speaking of Mooshu.

“Yami, I’m sorry--”

Yami held up a hand.  “The base was attacked.  From the sound of it we’re lucky all we lost was Mooshu.”  Yami thought of his friends retelling of the events and how Bran had possessed Pilfer and Mooshu to wreck havoc outside and save Teris.  He was proud of the boy and his two beasts.  He would have gladly given both creatures lives for Teris’ well being.  Having only lost Mooshu was a sad but an easy exchange to know that Teris had been saved.

Yami shook his head thinking of the attack on the roadside almost a year ago.  “After all my promises that I’d find and kill them they attack here and it’s Teris who saw them dead.”

“While Bran and Pilfer killed the groups leader, Teris killed more then most of us put together,” Gendry said.  “And all without her grimoire. If you ask me, that’s more than just royalty being more powerful then the rest of us.  That’s her being--”

“Something special,” Yami interrupted.

“I don’t know what happened but it’s obvious you still love her,” Gendry said.

Yami glowered at him.  “I’m working on it.”

“On not loving her or not having it written on your face?”

“Both,” Yami growled.

“How’s that going for you?”

“Obviously not very well.”

“Then why?”

“Why what?”

“Why do whatever it is you’re trying and failing to do?”  Gendry asked.  “You love her.  She loves you.  At least Venice says she does and it’s obvious, even to me, that Teris does like you.  Why pull away all of a sudden?  You said you were going to marry her. You said you knew you would marry her the day you two met.”

Yami squeezed his eyes shut and turned away lowering his head.  “I was a fool.”

“You’re not a fool.  You do and say some really stupid things quite often but you’re no fool.”

“In this I was.”  Yami said forcefully.  “She lied to me.  Deceived me.”

Gendry shrugged.  “You did the same to her about your injuries from Nozel.”

Yami rubbed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose.  “This is different.”

“How so?”

“I know what you’re trying to do and it’s not going to work.  You think I didn’t argue myself in circles when I found out she’s intended to marry Nozel?”

That brought Gendry up short.  “She’s his Intended?”

“And he’s hers cause apparently that’s how it works,” Yami snapped.

Mouth hanging open Gendry slowly shook his head.  “I didn’t know.  I’m sorry.”

“Thanks.” Yami said bitterly feeling worse when Gendry didn’t continue to try and bring him back around.  As if in learning that Teris was Nozel’s Intended was the end of it.

After a few moments Gendry asked.  “What are you going to do?”

Yami slapped the side of his thigh.  “Try to survive living here with her.  Avoid her at all costs.  Learn to hide how I truly feel until I don’t feel any more.  I don’t know Gendry.  Got any good ideas?”

#black clover #yami sukehiro #julius novachrono #fanfic #light in the darkness

[toothpastecanyon]

We Walk Like Humans Do, Chapter 2

The Transcendence has been, on the whole, a good thing for magical creatures... for the ones that walked on two legs and fit in doorways, at least. Lacie has other problems to overcome before she can live in the big city.

Thanks to @feferipeixes for help editing this chapter! Go check out their awesome stuff!

See most updated version on Archive of Our Own.

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               Oh, my stars. Alcor hasn’t laughed this hard in lifetimes.

Chapter 2 of Wizard Animago’s Not-So-Secret Spellbook - Everything You Already Knew About Transfiguration and Literally Nothing Else

Hi, I’m 18Lacie5 and I wrote another chapter for you humans. Everyone was really confused on my last post and seemed to think it was a joke, so I’ll start out by answering the five most common questions you had.

1 - Yes, I am a basilisk.

2 - No, I am not the basilisk from Harry Potter.

3 - No, I do not live in the Chamber of Secrets from Harry Potter.

4 - No, I am not the horcrux snake from Harry Potter.

5 - No, I am not in any way related to Harry Potter.

Are we all on the same page now? Good, because holy shit some of you really missed the point here. I got a visit from one of you with a replica of Gryffindor’s sword, and that was so annoying I didn’t even feel bad killing him - like dude, all that tells me is I KNOW you read my post about not coming down here, and then decided to come down here anyway ‘cause fuck me, right?

(The sword wasn’t even that good. It was made of cheap plastic, snapped like a spine.)

Anyway, despite all this the last post was fun to write, so I’m doing it again. Also it seems like the number of visits from treasure hunters has gone down since I posted, though it’s hard to tell. There’s not really a consistent number from year to year, and the day I start keeping a deathcount is the day I give up on life and buy a mirror to see if I can kill myself with my own reflection.

For science, you know?

               Alcor’s read the entire blog by now and it’s just perfect. The snark, the sarcasm, the casual disregard towards human lives that could only have been written by an ancient and powerful being - it’s hilarious!   And the spell entries… man, he could listen to Lacie tear apart someone’s Latin any day of the decade. If only she could come to some of his summons; she’d have so much material to work with there.

               With a chuckle, Alcor looks up and glances around the darkness of the Mindscape. He needs to show this to someone. But who? Mizar? She’s only a year into the current reincarnation… hmm, she might be a little too young to understand it. Lucy Ann’s somewhere around; he probes for her, and finds her - dammit - during naptime at some kindergarten in Portland.

               Anyone else?

               …

               No one else.

               There’s absolutely no one else in his life right now. That’s… that’s a fun reminder.

               He sighs, and sits back on the fabric of reality. Maybe some cultists’ll summon him; he could read them a blog post, see if they laugh. That’d be fun, right?

               Al narrows his eyes at the great nothingness before him. It’d be something, at least.

               ...You know, he can feel a little tug now.

               A weak one, just one summoner, and no circle. That confuses him at first - even the real amateurs usually manage to scribble out some sort of rounded shape - and when he looks closer, he sees it’s holding one of his summoning cards, holding it in its… hand?

               No, not quite a hand, and Alcor jolts right up as he realises shit that’s Lacie trying to call him, shit he didn’t think she’d call him back so soon! How long did he keep her waiting? It’s been a couple hours - shit!

               Alcor tessers over to her in an instant, his mouth already open and spilling apologies: “Oh my stars Lacie, I am so sorry for the delay! I got distracted and I didn’t think you’d call back so soon so I wasn’t watching as closely as I-”

               A deep, rumbling growl cuts him off. It’s a deafening sound, coming from a creature lounging on a pile of bones and gold with teeth the size of Alcor’s entire body; he can’t help but cringe at that. He takes a deep breath, remind himself that he’s an all-powerful demon who definitely doesn’t need to be scared of some mere mortal… even if she is pretty scary for a mortal.

               You know, relatively speaking. He isn’t scared, he just thinks she’s scarier than, like, a human.  Like a human from that pile of human skeletons she’s smashed into the wall. Yeah, that’s not scary at all. That wouldn’t kill him… looks like it would hurt, though.

               He double checked he isn’t standing near that spellbook she’s bound to, right?

               Just as he’s thinking this, Lacie lets out another even louder growl, and he jumps back with an undignified yelp.

               “Hey, whoa, Lacie!” Alcor watches her head shift to the side. “Lacie? Hello?”

               She doesn’t reply, and he looks to her face for an answer. He sees one of her eyes now: it’s closed?

               Closed.

               The realisation washes over him as she lets out another slow, rumbling snore.

               “Oh. You’re… you’re just sleeping, aren’t you. Duh.” He straightens, and casts a glance around the room as he fixes his tie and straightens his hat. “Glad no one noticed that… Lacie?”

               She doesn’t stir, and Alcor makes a face. He’s never turned up to a summons  and had the summoner fall asleep; would she want him to wake her up? Her dreams feel pretty peaceful to him, and even though that thing - is that a giant laptop? - she’s using as a pillow doesn’t look particularly comfy, it doesn’t seem to bother her in the slightest.

               Yeah, it looks like he should just let her call him back… but there is something. Embedded in her sluggish thoughts, he can feel a sort of drive, a sort of desperation, and that makes him hesitate. He looks for her tail, and spots it still wrapped around his summoning card, still squeezing it in a death grip.

               Alcor frowns. He watches her snore one more time, then makes up his mind. With a deep breath, he reaches out and prods at her thoughts; they immediately begin to stir. He prods again, and Lacie lets out a grunt. Her eyelid cracks open, and she drags a sleepy glare across the room.

               Her gaze meets his, and he feels pain, pain in his soul, his soul feels like it’s being pushed out through his ears ow ow OW- and he recoils, unable to bear it for a second longer.

               Wow, he thinks, that really is potent. What on earth makes it so powerful?

               Before he can wonder about that, there’s a noise. Gold coins clink against each other as Lacie jerks up, blinking hard, panic flashing in her aura. Alcor holds up his hands.

               “Hey, hey, it’s just me!” He looks down as she fixes her eyes on him. “Sorry if you, uh, didn’t want to be woken up, I just thought… you know, you called me, and… what are you doing?”

               She’s cast the summoning card aside and is now wiggling the touchpad on her laptop. He cocks his head.

               “Whoa, I’ve never seen a laptop that big. Where on Earth did you buy that?”

               Lacie doesn’t acknowledge his question. She starts typing something, and he floats closer to see her login screen.

               “18Lacie5. Heh, I like your username.” He watches her click on the password box and slowly, painstakingly jab each key with her tail. “E… Y… E… What? Why are you looking at me like- oh. Oh, I’m so sorry!”

               There’s a faint snort from Lacie as he turns away. His cheeks redden.

               “Sorry, I forget hu- uh, mortals? Mortals tend to like their privacy on stuff… it’s kind of useless since Al-V can hack into pretty much any computer on earth - um, the Alcor Virus, that’s Alvie.” He hears the typing stop, and suddenly wishes he’d chosen literally any other topic in the world. “Um, not that I would make him hack into your computer! I’m just saying he could, and he probably has already… um, I just made him to get rid of Twin Souls though, you’re fine! O-or you should be fine - you don’t, by any chance, happen to like Twin Souls, do you? It’s, um, this book - well it’s a movie now but it was a book - and Mizar - who is my sister by the way - well, that’s why I hate it, because it has my sister and I, umm…ugh, sorry, it’s gross, my sister and I, we’re- huh?”

               A low hiss makes him look back, and he sees Lacie - ow - staring right at him. She gestures to the screen, which has a word document open on it with big, bold letters.

               “Oh, you want me to read that?” He floats closer, and frowns as he reads the first line:

               Im pretending 2 type rite now 2 see how long u wil ramble 4 wtf youre still going and now twin souls no nono why r u explaning i actually cant take the awkwardnes i got 2 stop u

               Alcor blinks, then shoots her a dirty look. The noise coming out of her now sounds an awful lot like snickering.

               “Wha- I was just-! I just wanted to clarify the hacking thing I said, I-!” The snickering gets louder, and he rolls his eyes. “Yeah, yeah, I guess I’m a little rusty at small talk, very funny. I’d like to see how awkward you’d be if the only practice you could get is on a bunch of cultists in basements. They’re not exactly social butterflies either, you know!”

               Lacie just keeps laughing, and Alcor… well, he puts on a show of crossing his arms and heaving a long-suffering sigh, but he’s fighting a smile.

               It’s strangely nice, being here. Lacie’s strangely nice to be around; she already feels - and he has to remind himself he’s only met her twice - almost like a friend? Maybe he just has a low bar these days, but he hears her laughter, and… it’s just very, very nice. Nice in a way that’s hard to describe.

               Nice in a way he hasn’t felt for a while.

               The feeling lingers even after Lacie’s chuckling dies off, and he’s still smiling as he watches her reach for the laptop again. She jabs the down arrow a couple times, and some more, better punctuated text comes into view.

               I have revised the terms of our deal, it starts, and Alcor clears his throat, squares his shoulders, tries to get himself back into business mode. He reads on: and I would like to exchange the human bones that are currently in my room for a human disguise I am capable of putting on and taking off at will.

               He raises an eyebrow as he reaches the end. This is not the deal he was expecting to make. A human disguise… he can tell she’s no demonologist, that’s for sure; there’s so many interpretations of that, so many wonderful ways to tw͏is͡t her̡ ̵w̢or̵d̸s ͏a͟g̢ai͘n̸st͠ ̢h͝er-

               No. He shakes his head to clear it of his worst instincts, but they won’t leave, not in the presence of such an enticing deal. Suddenly, he’s glad he doesn’t have to look her in the eyes right now; he trains them on the ground instead, and starts to speak.

               “So, um… when you’re saying a ‘human disguise’, what do you mean by that?” He can’t see her face, but he can see a bolt of frustration flash across her aura. “Huh? What’s- oh right, can’t talk, uh… well, do you want me to make an actual, convincing disguise? You know, instead of, like, a wig and some sunglasses?”

               Lacie nods vigourously. He watches her tap the caps key and add ‘CONVINCING’ before the human disguise bit. A part of him screams at all the opportunities he’s giving up - willingly! - but he forces a smile and nods.

               “Cool, I can do that. I’ve made a few humans before- human bodies, that is, not… um.” Alcor coughs. “Anyway, I can give you a convincing human form for those bones of yours. How does that sound?”

               She taps the screen.

               “What…? Oh, yes, I’ll make it so you can switch back and forth at will. Good catch. Now, do we have a d̕e͇̪͍̜̻̪͘a̙̻̬̦͔ͅl̲̝͓͔?”

               He doesn’t extend a hand to shake, but blue sparks spurt from his fingertips as he watches Lacie mull it over. Her aura fizzles with nervous energy, but it only takes a couple seconds for her to tamp it down and give him a firm nod. The rush of a newly made deal makes his grin go wide; he tries not to let it go too wide as he claps his hands together.

               “Alrighty, then,” he says, rubbing them until those sparks turn into a full-blown fire. “One meatsuit coming right up!”

               He extends a hand to the pile of bones in the corner of the room, and with a flick of the wrist he rips the energy from them all  and absorbs it. The sacrifice warms him like a good meal, and he turns back to Lacie, ready to put that newly-gained power to use.

               He steps back and sizes her up with his hands, a gesture that makes her aura simmer with uncertainty. She makes a low, nervous sound, and he waves her away.

               “It’s alright, I just… need to remember how big a human is, how much I need to squish you down... Got it!!” Alcor readies his fingers to snap. “Okay, I’ve only done this on myself before, so there might be some kinks I haven’t thought of! Don’t worry, though, I’ll probably be able to fix them!”

               Before Lacie could respond, he snaps his fingers, and his magic rushes around her like a cloud. Skin forms over scales, hair grows over horns, and the figure that remains when it disperses is unmistakably human.

               It’s also falling to the ground from the height of Lacie’s head, and oh shit catch her catch her catch her - he freezes her momentum a couple inches from the ground then lets her plop, safely but definitely not gracefully, into a puddle.

               “Oh, my stars! Are you okay?” Heart pounding in his chest, he dashes over. “I am so sorry about that fall, how are you- ow, okay , I’m gonna need to get you some sunglasses or something - how are you feeling? Here, let me help you up!”

               He extends a hand, and Lacie… just stares at it.

               Just stares at him, not moving, and he can feel panic flaring up in her aura as she can’t move, oh stars she’s so tiny right now and she can’t move oh fuck-

               Alcor blinks. “Oh, right. Um, don’t panic-”

               Don’t panic??? DON’T PANIC??? FUCK THIS SHE’S LIKE FIVE INCHES TALL RIGHT NOW AND SHE CAN’T FUCKING MOVE OH MY STARS WHY DID SHE DO THIS TO HERSELF THIS IS THE STUPIDEST FUCKING IDEA SHE’S EVER HAD IN HER LIFE-

               “Lacie? Take a deep breath… Lacie? Lacie!” He cringes when Lacie’s eyes fix on him again. “Okay, um, I can see this is… a little stressful for you?”

               She nods vigourously.

               “Alright, um… don’t worry, I made it easy for you to change back! You just, y’know, gotta think of yourself being a basilisk again - or is it pronounced ‘battle-isk’? ‘Bas-til-isk’? Heh, that’s a weird word, I’ve only ever seen it written down-”

               Lacie ditches her human disguise as fast as she could, shooting back out to her original form and cutting Alcor off mid-tangent. He jumps back, watching relief flood through her aura as she could move again, thank the stars she could actually move and everything’s normal sized again… fuck, everything’s normal sized again. She wasted her deal!

               The relief’s spiking up into another panic, and Alcor clears his throat. “Alright, so that deal didn’t go to plan. No worries! I can’t exactly do refunds, but you’ve still got plenty of good stuff to sacrifice in here! Doesn’t bother me if this takes a few tries, heh.”

               But that doesn’t calm Lacie in the slightest, because now she has to think of another deal, her mind’s blank, she’s got nothing! But she’ll fall asleep if she makes Alcor leave again… maybe she will have to go for that deal.

               It’s hard to read her thoughts when they go quiet, but Alcor definitely picks up something about that deal as they’re retreating into a murky bubble of disappointment. He sees how she hangs her head at the idea, then lugs her laptop over to her, begins to peck away at the keys.

               He sees that, and frowns. “Hey, uh,” he starts, and right away her eyes dart over to him. “If you don’t want to make a new deal, I’m sure we could make this one work?”

               Lacie cocks her head.

               “I mean, I’ve been… I know a thing or two about being in a human body. It’s been a while, but maybe I could… y’know, show you the ropes?”

               She doesn’t say a word. The silence stretches, and Alcor laughs nervously.

               “I-if you want. I mean, it’s been a while, but maybe I could show you enough to get around? I did technically promise your disguise would be ‘convincing’, so a couple human lessons should be easy enough to fit in, without… without another deal... um, I don’t know if you like this idea or you want me to stop talking? If you do that’s fine, I can do another deal, just give me a-”

               There’s a sort of fwoomp sound, and the coils and coils of Lacie’s body seem to twist out of existence. At the same time, a human takes shape where her head was, and falls right into Alcor’s arms before he has time to blink.

               “-a sign?” He finishes, and stares down at her. She stares right back, and he’d admire the steely resolve, the carefully-controlled fear in her gaze a whole lot longer if it didn’t make his soul want to push itself out through his ears.

               “Oh, Okay. Wow, you’re, um… diving right in, huh?”

               Lacie gives her closest approximation to a human smile, and Alcor’s caught off guard by how quickly he finds himself grinning back. An actual, genuine grin stretches across his face for the first time in too long, and he chuckles.

               “Alright, Lacie, I like your gumption!” He summons a pair of sunglasses, and sticks them over her eyes. “Let’s get humaning!”

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               Humaning. Lacie had taught herself many human things over the years; she’d taught herself to read, to type, to write - heck, she’d even managed to summon a demon (and in proper human tradition, had made a poorly thought-out deal with it.) She was no novice in learning how to human.

               Maybe that’s why she thought the whole human form was a good idea. She was great at humaning! She’d taught herself so many of their skills, educated herself on so many of their customs, she was able to pass as one of them online… sometimes, it really didn’t feel like she was all that different from them.

               After all, if she could read like a human and write like a human and think like a human, how hard could it be to walk around like one, too?

               …

               As it turns out, hard.

               Very, very hard.

               Duh.

               Everything, everything is different in a human body. Sure, she thought having arms and legs would take some getting used to, but how about all this hair? How about her cramped little mouth and her stubby tongue? How about her skin? Her skin is stupidly sensitive without scales; when she was lying on the stone, she could feel every little bump in it, could feel water soaking her, making her shiver - and shivering, ugh! What an awful sensation! Even though Alcor’s got her propped her up in a chair now, her skin won’t stop whining to her that, gasp, the fabric’s a little itchy!

               Whoop de fucking do, skin. Hopefully she grows a thicker one soon enough, because this is driving her crazy.  She’s laughing at the Lacie of a couple hours ago who thought she’d just be able to stand up and walk out of the sewers, and oh, speaking of walking ?

               Hah! Try moving them at all!

               Lacie’s been without these strange appendages all her life, and moving them would be like a human trying to nod with a second head they’ve just sprouted - sometimes she’ll get lucky and hit upon whatever bundle of nerves is controlling each of these limbs, and after two hours of Alcor’s patient coaching she can make them twitch on a somewhat consistent basis, but she’s not getting anywhere fast with them any time soon.

               She can only lie here, with her blunt teeth, with her papery skin, with her useless limbs…

               Helpless.

               Absolutely helpless.

               Alcor looms over her whenever he stands up… and that scares her more than she thought it would. Everything looms over her in this form; the - she called it little - pile of treasure she sleeps on now seems like a great mountain, the ceiling she often bangs her head on is higher still, impossibly high. She sees her spellbook resting on its lecturn, and it’s about the same size as her now; she remembers how tiny it once seemed, and- OH FUCK WHAT’S GOING- oh, she’s shivering again.

               Lacie frowns at that, and she lets out a noise that’s weirdly squeaky in this throat, and Alcor taps her shoulder.

               (And she feels that, holy shit skin it’s literally just a hand)

               “...need to take a break?” He’s asking. Frowning. “Lacie?”

               She nods, quickly, and he takes the sunglasses off her face before scooting back. Closing her eyes, she thinks of being a basilisk again, and all these alien sensations fall away with a flood of relief. Lacie is herself again; she takes a long moment to savour it, to lounge across her sleeping pile, to listen to her scales scratch against the stone floor, to open an eye and see Alcor as a tiny figure in her field of vision.

               “That looks comfy.” He says. He’s grinning, but she can barely make that out. “Darn, I should’ve moved the chair, too.”

               The chair? She lifts her body, and finds the chair she’d been sitting on, crushed beneath the weight of her coils. With a little chuckle, she sweeps it out from under her, marvelling at how tiny it is - how tiny she was.

               Alcor laughs, too. “Sheesh, you flattened it. I think it’ll be easier to make a new chair.”

               Laying her head on the ground, she lets out a lazy snort.

               “…um, when you’re ready, I mean.” He adds. “Or we can stop, if you’re tired? I can-”

               She heaves herself up. Ugh, she is tired - it creeps up on her. She can’t sleep though, not when she’s so close, so fucking close to getting out of here.

               “Oh, okay… are you sure? We’ve been at this a while, I really don’t mind taking a break…”

               Lacie tugs at that mental link in the back of her mind, and feels herself switch back into human form again. Unlike switching the other way, this form greets her not with a flood of relief, but with a host of silly little complaints: her back hurts, the stone’s not comfy on her face, it’s cold, she’s wet, on and on and on and she just wants it all to shut up… but, she will admit, there is one thing she likes.

               Alcor hoists her up on one of those tiny little chairs she’d been laughing at just a second ago, and she stares at him, and she feels awake.

               Completely awake.

               She can’t remember the last time her head’s felt this clear, and it’s a pity she has to spend half her human time fidgeting in a seat because otherwise it’d be amazing. Is this really how bad the energy situation had gotten down here? Wow, she really needed to get out of here, and fast.

               “Hey, Lacie?” Alcor’s saying something, and she looks over at him. “So I know you said - or, uh, indicated, anyway - that you didn’t want a break…”

               He pauses expectantly, and then, seeming to realise she isn’t going to follow it up with a ‘Yes?’ clears his throat.

               “Right. Well, I kind of would. Like a break. If that’s okay with you.”

               Lacie blinks.

               “You know, we’ve been doing this for a while, and I’m thinking maybe we could do something else? You know, it could be something fun! It could be something like, um, like… oh, do you play Scrabble?”

               She shakes her head.

               “No? Oh, I guess that was a longshot… how bout chess? I know there’s like, online chess… no?” He frowns at her continued head-shaking. “Alright, well… What do you do for fun down here?”

               Lacie thinks on that for a moment, then turns her head towards the laptop.

               “Oh, your laptop? Nice, nice.” He grins at her. “I love your blog.”

               Wait, her blog? He’s read that? He likes that? The surprise must be showing on her face, because Alcor starts laughing.

               “Yeah, it’s hilarious! I was actually so caught up reading it, I didn’t realise you were summoning me! I love just how sarcastic it is! It’s amazing!”

               Lacie blinks. Is he… gushing? Is Alcor the Dreambender gushing about her blog?

               Is this her life?

               “Man,” he rambles on. “that joke about a killcount, that was great. I just don’t get why it’s not more popular!  Humans, they just don’t have any taste… they’re, heh, they’re too busy reading Harry Potter, amirite?”

               He nudges her like he’s made some kind of clever reference, and she snorts at him. Okay, wow, demon or not, this guy really is an absolute plonker. She loves it.

               “Haha, yeah! They’ve been, uh, playing Quidditch too much to read your stuff! Yeah! Or they’ve been, um… making swords? Making- I should stop now, shouldn’t I.”

               With a big dumb grin on her face, she nods.

               “Yep, that was getting out of hand.” Alcor rubs his neck. “I just wanted to say I really liked it a lot. It was funny.”

               Lacie’s grin got even bigger.

               “So, uh, you really have been down here all your life, huh? Dealing with treasure hunters-” He chuckles when she rolls her eyes. “Hah, I can imagine that’s not fun! Yeah... so, uh, have you ever been outside?”

               She shakes her head. Maybe before she was old enough to remember, but that was a long, long time ago. Alcor makes a face at that.

               “Yeah, yeesh. No wonder you want to get out of here, no wonder…”

               He trails off, and Lacie watches his eyes go distant for a second before a thought seems to strike him; he blinks, frowns, then, slowly, he starts to grin. He turns to her again, and she raises an eyebrow at the shine in his eyes.

               “Hey, Lacie,” He says. “Want me to take you on a little tour?”

#transcendence au #Lacie #fanfiction

[lovelyirony]

99 with WinterIron?

I fell in love with you, not them. 

The first time that Bucky sees Tony, it’s when they’re back from Wakanda. Bucky already misses the farm animals and teasing, light jokes Shuri always had for him. The ride back home was tense: they knew they were headed back to the compound. They were told that it was the safest place for people like “them.” (Bucky groaned when Steve vehemently asked what “them” meant. The nice UN lady had to politely explain how they came to be international criminals. Damn.)

Bucky is surprised that he gets his own room, away from Steve. He thought that he would be, for a lack of a better term, stuck with him. 

The problem, to put it simply, is this: Bucky knows who he used to be. A suave, debonair jerk kid from Brooklyn who wasn’t always suave and debonair, but Steve loved him like a brother anyway. That jerk kid died when he fell off a train and got taken by Hydra. 

Steve isn’t so patient with things. He’s always been hot-headed. Got that from Sarah, believe it or not. Steve wants Bucky to remember things as they used to be, not as they are. Sure, he knows that he took Janie Seymour on a date, but Janie is most likely dead now or so old she won’t recognize Bucky Barnes. 

“As if anyone could forget you,” Steve teases. 

Bucky wishes they would. Because he’s never lived up to expectations, not even then. He isn’t sure he really wants to. Expectations really are an awful thing to have for someone--something--like him. 

He avoids people. He doesn’t want to be a burden on Tony Stark, who is doing so much for them. Things have slowly begun to mend--Bucky warned Steve to be civil to Tony, because it’s what he deserves. 

“Bucky, you remember what happened.” 

“Yeah, I do. I also know both you and I don’t hold back in a fight, and he didn’t come back looking pretty as a picture. So what’s your point?” 

Things get better after that. But Bucky still doesn’t go see the team during visiting hours. Too much guilt. Mostly over the fact that he’s stealing Bruce’s blood oranges and not telling him and that he killed Tony’s parents. 

Usually, he’s the only one in the green room. Everyone else congregates in the kitchen to commiserate over shitty dreams and even worse nightmares. Bucky will have no part in that, mostly because he has this inferiority complex where he never feels like he’ll be enough or that he deserves friends. (His therapist tells him he’s being stupid, but whatever.) 

Tony is a curious one. Bucky has to admit it, even if he doesn’t really see him or talk with him. 

He’s silent, but quick with a joke. He keeps everyone at reach, but not much closer. Bucky knows why. Knows it in the way Natasha says something expecting to get a snarky reply and gets something that’s close, but not on the nose. When Clint mentions something that they used to do, wants to know if Tony wants to do it again. 

“Maybe another time,” Tony says weakly, grabbing an apple. “Got a lot of work to do, but maybe next week?” (Read as: never gonna happen.) 

He’s still polite, still laughs. Talks with Bruce and Thor about science shit and pokes fun at their fledgling relationship. He’s polite enough to ask about how Bucky is doing, even though he’s pretty sure he doesn’t really care. (Pretty sure, remember that.) 

It isn’t until Bucky goes to the green room to avoid sleep that he sees Tony. 

“Thought no one came in here,” Tony says. He has a soda can with him. 

“I don’t wanna be any trouble,” Bucky says. “I’ll leave--” 

“Nah, I need to talk with you anyway,” Tony responds. “Don’t think that I’m mad or anything. Well, a little bit.” 

“I would be concerned if you weren’t mad.” Tony laughs. 

“I forgot to tell you the history.” Bucky looks confused. “Let me tell you all about Howard and distance, darling...” 

Bucky learns a lot. A.) They have various references to pop culture, and Bucky is notably surprised when Tony picks up on some of the more obscure references. 

B.) Tony has known that Bucky is a tech nerd (thank god Steve told some things about him that weren’t just about his habits) and he’s been invited to check out some of the old armors that are now retired. 

The mechanic shop is amazing. It’s all tools and kitschy decorations that Tony says Pepper picked out, but Bucky knows that people lie, and Tony’s really bad at it. 

The old armors are still miles ahead of anything Bucky’s seen in the last fifty odd years. Well, mostly. There are some shoulder mounts they adapted and some of the same aiming tech, but it’s still breathtaking. He remembers reading those sci-fi pulp novels, the ones that had fantastical technology that could never hope to be real. 

“Got some inspiration from those, used to be a fan,” Tony says. “Ugh, we’ve been working for forever. I’m hungry. Wanna go grab some fruit? I bet Natasha twenty bucks that you’ve never tasted a kiwi.” 

He hadn’t. They’re insanely good. Better than anything he’s ever had, and Natasha groans as she slaps a twenty on the table. 

“I hate when you’re right, Tony.” 

“But you love me when I’m wrong,” Tony coos, putting the bill in his pocket. “Besides, you’ve won other bets.” 

“True,” Natasha says. “But the bank isn’t open today, and I need cash.” 

“Sucks,” Tony responds, grinning. “Barnes, babe, you want some coffee?” 

Tony loves pet names. He calls Bucky every name under the sun. Baby, babydoll, sunshine, snowflake, darling, babe, sugar, and everything else under the moon. 

Bucky has pet names that he uses. They’re all in Russian--of course they are, why wouldn’t they be? He has anxiety about this...crush--and so it’s balanced. Kind of. 

They’re at a dance. That is when this happens. Bucky is dressed suave and debonair and he got a really good hot dog for lunch, the kind that wreaks havoc on your digestion system. He’s feeling a little bit confident, and he’s been dancing all night. He remembers the steps and everything! 

The problem is this: he’s dancing with Tony, and he says something about the handsome way Tony looks, and it...

He runs. Tony does, not Bucky. Although he wishes he did, because now it’s awkward and people are staring and he can’t exactly go to the bar and get a drink regularly. 

So he walks. Bucky walks, and isn’t that the stupidest thing ever? He’s hanging his head, and he can almost hear the “dude, that was the Winter Soldier and now he’s that? Sad.” 

He finds Tony by a trellis of roses. It’s a pretty picture, even with the blue face. Picasso’s blue period, then. 

“Did I step on your toes?” Bucky asks. Tony startles, trying to smile. 

“Just, um...” He runs his hand. “Shit, I’m shit at lying. You know that. I’m kind of...I like you. An amount that qualifies as an anomaly. And you...god you deserve so much better.” 

Bucky laughs. He can’t help it. 

“Oh Jesus, I know our therapists talked about raising self-esteem, but god I can’t believe you just said that.” 

“How so?” 

“Because I’m worse than you? I’ve...I remember things. How to do things that you shouldn’t know how to do and I--it’s you that deserves better.” 

“No, you deserve someone who can--well. You deserve better. Someone in there.” 

“I fell in love with you, not them,” Bucky says. “Because they don’t know how to take apart and put together an armor, they don’t know how I like my coffee--” 

“An obscene amount of sugar and creamer. Doesn’t even taste like coffee.” 

“Yeah, the way it’s supposed to be if you aren’t a heathen,” Bucky shoots back, grinning. “Point still stands. You’re the one that I love, if you don’t mind me being so bold about it. I think you know that, even if you don’t...even if it’s too something. But I love you for everything, and I’m hopin’ you’ll have me.” 

“I will,” Tony says. He tackles Bucky into a hug. “God, will I.” 

The team doesn’t notice much of a difference. They were already pretty touchy, although the sitting-so-close-they-might-as-well-only-have-one-chair is pretty new. It just means Clint gets more teasing ammo when they’re gross. 

“I thought Bruce and Thor would be more touchy,” Natasha mutters as she sees Tony dip into Bucky’s breakfast plate with a kiss and a snatch of waffle fries. “God knows how much Thor loves his boyfriend.” 

“Soon to be fiance,” Thor murmurs into her ear, grinning. “You wanna help me pick the ring?” 

“What was that, honey?” Bruce calls across the table. 

“They’re talkin’ war strategy!” Bucky calls out, winking at Thor. “Bruce, I meant to ask you today if you wouldn’t mind doing a puzzle with me...” 

It’s nice. 

[somuchbetterthanthat]

for the tma prompt: could you do something with Melanie and Georgie right after Melanie started working at the institute? Like, how would Georgie react to that? Would they talk about Jon behind his back? Or the other co-workers? Could be cute or angsty, whatever you’re feeling. And don’t worry if you don’t end up having the motivation to write it! That’s relatable af and I won’t be let down at all! Thanks fam :)

So… I’m very sorry, this is not EXACTLY your prompt? But it is Melanie and Georgie, talking about Jon, i guess? sorry it’s very bad, it’s hard to get voices right.

Sometimes, when Georgie looks at Melanie, she’s abruptly reminded of Alex. She thinks it’s the undercurrent of rage running through her skin, the way Melanie always feels like she needs to defend her position, her choices, herself really, and does so by attacking first rather than waiting for a possible blow. It’s probably the only thing they do have in common, though - well, that, and the spite against rich and pretentious people.

“Can you believe that, that pompous little -” Melanie exclaims at last, glaring at her coffee. “Like he has any business telling me i dreamt it. i didn’t! I didn’t dream it, and I’m sure the asshole knows it, cause he had that look in his eye while i was talking -”

 “It’s been two weeks,” Georgie tells her with raised eyebrows. “You’re never going to see the guy again. I feel like you’d have a much better time thinking about - what did you say she was called again? Sasha?”

“God I wish,” Melanie says at her coffee. “I wish I could dream of Sasha too, but no! Not only do I get to relive that awful moment every night, now Jonathan Sims is in there too -” Georgie blinks, and Melanie takes a sip of her coffee before muttering again with deep emphasis: “arshole.”

“Hold on,” Georgie says. “Jonathan Sims?”

“Yeah, isn’t that a stupid name? I think it’s a stupid name, for his stupid -”

“Lean, dark hair, surprisingly gorgeous eyes, looks like he hasn’t eaten or sleep in ages?” Georgie cuts her off. She can’t believe her heart is beating so fast in her chest. It’s been years. But - the Magnus Institute - that does sound like -

“Gorgeous eyes?” Melanie repeats, aghast. She finally looks up to stare at Georgie. “Oh my god, do you know the guy?”

“I think I do,” Georgie says with raised eyebrows. “He was kind of my best friend at uni.”

“…You’re kidding, right?” Melanie says after a second. “You’re playing a prank on me. Kinda rude after all the emotional turmoil I’ve been put through, don’t you think?”

Georgie can’t help it; she grins. “Are you going to believe me more if I tell you we don’t talk anymore because we tried dating and it didn’t work out that well?”

Melanie looks more horrified by that statement than anything else she’s told Georgie a while ago about Sarah Baldwin. Somehow, it eases something in Georgie: she hasn’t thought about Jon in a long time, to be honest. The first months of seething anger at the nerves he had to just cut her off, like they’d been nothing, followed by the ones missing him achingly have long past. Now what comes up immediately to her mind is not the Jon who’d glared at her and refused to admit he could be wrong, safely hidden behind several walls of righteous attitude and emotional distance, but the boy who’d snorted at her morbid jokes when everybody else looked uneasy, and who’d helped her find the perfect name for the Admiral.

“You’re smiling,” says Melanie. “That’s - so gross. Stop that. He’s an arse.”

“Yeah,” says Georgie and, dear god, Melanie’s right, she is smiling, and fondly at that - “Yeah, he’s always been a bit of a pretentious git. Absolutely no tact, either, which didn’t help.” 

“Tell me about it,” Melanie snorts (Georgie does not point out that Melanie doesn’t have much tact either. Probably because, contrary to apparently every single person she’s ever tried dating, Georgie does have some social skills.) “God, that guy, seriously? Georgie, c’mon.”

“It was a long time ago,” Georgie says, amused at Melanie’s disgusted little frown. “Besides, y’know. Hidden depths and all that. He was very sweet, once you’d passed through the first layers of stiffness. Not very good at it but - he could be very kind.”

“Right,” says Melanie. “Now you’re just full bullshitting me.”

“He was! Carried my books dutifully the whole month I had my arm broken in second year. And we didn’t have the same schedule, even, but he’d stay longer waiting for me to be done with classes. A real gentleman.”

(Jon had also came to her flat several times that month, cooking in mass quantity the only three meals he knew how to make. He’d cleant her living-room and changed her bedsheets, and Georgie was pretty sure it was around that time she’d decided she’d have to marry him one day; or, at the very least, work out the courage to kiss him.)

“You mean he wanted to get in your pants,” Melanie says, and then, grimaces. “God, I can’t even imagine him - ugh,”

Georgie laughs fully this time. “Ah! No. No he didn’t, trust me. We never - well. Anyway. I probably shouldn’t tell you that, if you’re determined to keep meeting him in your dreams,” she says lightly.

“Please stop,” Melanie says.

“I mean, now that I think about it, you two might get along really well,” Georgie insists, because it’s fun, and also because she thinks Melanie dearly needs to be distracted from the traumatic experience she’s lived through in that hospital, and teasing is as good as anything else for that. “You’re kind of similar, y’know -”

“Our friendship is over,” Melanie tells her. “I’m not listening to you anymore.”

“See, you already sounds like him -”

Melanie lets her forehead fall against the table. Georgie laughs again, and squeezes her arm gently. “How about we forget all about Jonathan Sims and the Magnus Institute, uh?” she asks her kindly. “It’s not like you’re gonna have to deal with them again, anyway; aren’t they super bad at follow-ups?”

“Yeah,” says Melanie. “Yeah, they’re awful, because they deal in utter non-sense -”

“Exactly,” Georgie nods sagely. “Now come on. Finish up your coffee, i’m taking you somewhere fun.”

#the magnus archives #me: am i able to shut up about jonathan sims? nope. #i'm so sorry this is so bad i am not doing any justice to either of them i'm sorry!!! #it's not even your proper prompt s o r ry

[berryherbist]

So I just finished The Savior’s Champion by Jenna Moreci and

It...wasn’t good. In my opinion.

Well, I technically didn’t finish now, but this was what I sent my friend right after I finished reading it. It’s not a genuine review, mostly just things I felt right after I finished (and still do tbh). I felt like sharing it though so  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. I might do a more in depth review later, but I’ll just post this for now.

I wanna preface this by saying there’s nothing wrong with liking this book, and I’m not judging anyone who does, it just...wasn’t good. Also, there are spoilers ahead

Alright leggo

Honestly?? Honestly??? Where do I begin?? Specifics or the overall book?? Either way it was  b a d. Okay I guess to start, I feel like this whole book was a waste of time. Not in the "I hated it I wish I hadn't read it sort of way" though. I just felt like it was a set up for the second book. Like yeah, it technically had its own plot, but literally nothing was resolved and there were no answers to major questions. I was hoping to get /something/ by the end of the book, but it just raised even more questions and half of what happened didn't make sense after that ending. And it has absolutely no right to be as long as it is. There are so many parts that are unmemorable or useless, ngl I had trouble remembering half of the book.I feel like every scene or exchange between characters should either move the plot along or develop the characters more, and that hardly  e v e r  happened. A lot of Tobias' dialogue was just to show how much better he is than the other people in the tournament. Like, Orion and some of the others were decent, but Tobias was like the Golden Child of this whole thing. Like he couldn't ever do anything wrong. Even if he did fuck up or make a bad decision he ended up being right. Jenna shows obvious favoritism towards her two main characters and everyone else fades into the background so much they can hardly be considered shadows.I mean, she has how many characters and how fleshed out are they? Tobias and Leila are hardly fleshed out and don't change at all from their first to last appearance. I guess you could say Delphi is kind of developed, but even then we don't see too much of her. She's got a very tropey personality and most of her appearances are to connect Tobias and Leila.And I couldn't even be sad at any of the character deaths!! I can't even remember half of their names, let alone their personalities. I literally had to go back and reread the contestant's names (Raphael who?? Neil who??). I was disappointed at Orion's death, but not /sad/. It was more like a "damn, you're one of the few characters I don't hate reading about and now you're gone." And those characters hardly get a backstory. Again I know the book doesn't revolve around them but damn, if you're going to include this many characters don't just make them accessories to your mains.(She's got portraits/art for so many of her characters but they don't even have a story hdrasfjh. if you're going to go through the trouble getting official designs for them give them official backgrounds maybe??)Now moving on to individual characters...just...fuck...fuck I hate Tobias and Leila so much.First of all they're so fucking stupid. So fucking stupid. Especially Tobias. Why can't they just keep it in their pants and focus on things that are actually important? Like the tournament?? Or whatever the fuck Leila is doing?? Or the fact that they're being so obvious?? I didn't like Flynn but I agreed with him more times than I did with Tobias. At least Flynn understood it was a competition. Yeah, he was arrogant and was there for very selfish reasons, but damn he actually had his head on straighter than Tobias. If anything Jenna's most fleshed out character was Flynn. He showed both bravery and cowardice, he had his own goals and personality, and despite the fact he threatened to betray Tobias, he was basically loyal in the end. Aside from when the Sovereign ordered Flynn to kill him but like. Can you blame him? Also, if I found out that one of the people I was competing against didn't even want the "prize" (I don't like referring to the Savior as that but that's basically what she is adkjfadjdla) that I could possibly lose my life over than yeah I'm going to be pissed?? 

Tobias is just a Gary Stu. He's handsome, a "good man," selfless, talented, loved by many, and always talks about how fucked up and corrupted the competition is, as if other people don't know that?? I'm also pissy at how good he was at fighting. The boy has 0 experience except for the time he trained with Leila but he was able to kill the Giant, Drake, and Kaleo. I guess you could argue that he was fueled by rage or whatever, but against trained assassins?? I don't think so.And then Leila. Fuckign Leila. She was so boring. SO so boring. Basically just a female Tobias. Pretty, good at fighting, smart, and independent, with almost no flaws whatsoever, if any. Maybe you could count her being secretive as a flaw, but Tobias had literally no right to know what she was up to or any of her secrets. He obviously doesn't understand what goes on between politicians and other aspects of the tournament (or whatever Brontes is doing?? idk man) but he still demands Leila tell him anyway. Anyway, there's nothing intriguing about Leila at all. Get those two together and it's just cardboard on cardboard. They're so boring, and all they ever talk about is how much they "love" each other. I know Jenna was probably trying to hide the instant romance in TSC but they still only had thirty days to fall in love. And maybe it's just me but none of it felt real. SO much of it just felt like lust (how many times did we have to read about wet dreams or them grinding on each other like adhskja).As for her villains?? I honestly think I liked them more than her main characters. I mean, they weren't developed at all but I couldn't hate them just because they were dicks.Kaleo, for example. He's an asshole. Just a real mean fucker. Yeah, I didn't like how arrogant and unnecessarily cruel he was, but because he had no backstory or clear motives throughout the whole book I was just waiting on a reason to really hate him. The same thing goes for Cosima. We spend the whole book thinking she's the Savior, so I always thought a lot of her behavior was due to never having a mother and only being raised by her father (who I thought was just very protective at first tbh). But still, I don't even know how to describe her. Not quite bitchy but not the nicest either. Selfish maybe? Like, when Raphael was bitten or whatever she let the judging go on. Fake? How she flirted with all of the contestants. Ngl though I felt kinda bad, because she's the one who wasn't allowed to choose who she got to marry. (Kinda unrelated but Tobias always complained that men died for her and yeah it's fucked up but?? That's the competition?? and even though she's the Savior I doubt she could just be like "lmao nah let's not do this." He likes to act all righteous and good but he doesn't know wtf he's talking about lol). Or just gross, when she started groping and kissing Tobias when he obviously didn't want it? And it wasn't until the very end of the book that we started seeing those parts of her. When it's revealed that Leila is the actual Savior it was like, "okay, I'm supposed to hate her because she took advantage of acting as the Savior, and she betrayed one of the main characters. I see why she's an antagonist now." But it felt so cheap. Kaleo and Cosima were just there to make Tobias and Leila look better by comparison.

Did the people close to Tobias even matter??? Okay, so we had Milo, who was annoying af. I was lowkey happy when he died because I wouldn't have to read about him any more, but I also just. Couldn't care. Yeah he was Tobias' best friend but there wasn't a lot about him. And Tobias seemed to bicker with him more than anything tbh.His sister and mom were just kind of?? Forgotten after awhile?? His sister was the reason he entered the competition but soon enough everything was for Leila. He was fighting for Leila. He wanted to protect Leila. Leila was literally the only thing ever on his mind. Gaining a new motivation is one thing, but forgetting the people closest to you and focusing on girl you've known for a month is messed up. He was even about to leave with Leila to the forest at the very end. If I recall correctly Leila was the one to suggest going to their home. He was willing to just leave them in favor of running away with Leila.

Brontes was such a cut out villain it  h u r t (also fuck the official pronunciation of his name imma say it how I please). Old dude in position of power after more power (and we still don't know why) who has an obvious hatred toward the main character and is trying to sabotage him. Wowza. I'm so intrigued.I also  h a t e  how Jenna made it obvious who we were supposed to like and who we were supposed to hate. We need to hate Kaleo because he's a dick, we need to like Tobias because he's a nice guy. There was no depth to  a n y  of these characters. I'm not saying antagonists need to be a likable person, but they should be able to be appreciated as a character. I didn't like any of the antagonists in Gentlemen Bastards, but I at least found them interesting, and clever in some way. They were awful people, but they didn't give off that "high school bully" vibe that Jenna's antagonists did.There's nothing to differentiate the characters aside from whether they were "good" or "evil." There's no diversity in their mannerisms or the way they speak. Brontes, who's a royal, speaks the same way Tobias, a peasant, does. Also, you could tell me that Brontes and the contestants are all the same age and I'd believe you.Again kinda unrelated and it's not a book but like, in Boku no Hero Academia a lot of the villains have likable (and different!!!!) personalities and I actually enjoy them *cough* Dabi *cough* so it's not impossible.This might be just me nitpicking but I've got a problem with the way Jenna portrays Pippa. In her videos she claims that Pippa has development issues?? (like all of her characters lol) or something like that. As in she doesn't act her age. And idk if it was her intention but I really hope that that wasn't an attempt at diversity or anything. You can't claim diversity or representation in a book if you need to clarify outside of the book. 

Fuck in g world building. There. Was. None. Of. It.Here's what I know about the world: 

1.) There are multiple kingdoms (can't remember the name of Tobias' tbh) 

2.) The first Savior brought success or peace or goodness or whatever to his Kingdom and is now seen as a Goddess, essentially. 

3.) There's a brutal tournament to choose her husband when she comes of age

Other than that we don't know anything about the world or their society. What kind of customs do they have? What's their language like? I'm not saying she needs to give us every single detail of their world, but there are so many gaps that the reader has to fill in, and it feels so goddamn generic. You've got your royals, your peasants, your armies. Apparently it's like a greco-roman thing? But I wouldn't be able to get that from the book. I don't even have a lot to say on world building aside from the fact that it's just not there asejgfaldksfh. Alright alright the pacing of the book pisses me tf off.So the start wasn't too bad, the prologue has the Savior's mother being assassinated, and it doesn't take too long for Tobias to enter the tournament, and we get to the Labyrinth quickly enough, but after that there's a ton of up and down. For example the challenge that's like. Capture the flag or something like that. I hardly remember it, and you could tell moments like that were only so Jenna had an excuse to kill of another character that wasn't important. But then there were moments with Leila and Tobias that just dragged on and on, like their conversations or their time in the art gallery, and they weren't even interesting conversations. Nothing to move the plot along or reveal much about the characters. I guess you could say that it was to further develop their relationship, but I just felt like that's the only reason why they existed. I didn't feel like there was chemistry between two individuals, just two characters that were being forced to love each other.Again, not a book, but imma take Jake and Amy from Brooklyn 99 for example (I wanna use Percy and Annabeth but it's been like seven years since I've read it and I'd probably butcher their story lol). Anyway, Jake and Amy are easily their own person, and they're both really different, but they both have their own goals and they both admire each other for different reasons. They help each other grow, both inside and outside their relationship, and they're better people because of each other. Leila and Tobias don't have that. It takes pages and pages of dialogue, and moments where they are the only two interacting, to try and convince the reader that they're right for each other. Chemistry between characters shouldn't be forced through romantic or intimate situations. The reader needs to believe that the characters as individuals are good for each other. I don't know if I'm making a lot of sense here aeskjfh. 

Okay but back to pacing. The ending was just. So forced. And so rushed. And did absolutely  n o t h i n g  for TSC. In the very last pages we find out that Leila is the Savior and Cosima was just a face, but?? Why?? What was the point of withholding all of that information until the end if we're not going to get anything out of it. You could argue that we're going to learn more in the second book, but that's just bad writing imo. Obviously you're not going to get all of your questions answered in the first book of a series, but there should be some sort of closure at the end of an individual book, and we don't get that. The reader is left in the dark about everything at the end of TSC. We don't know anything, or understand what's going on. Imma just. complain about the fuckign part where Tobias is taken by Kaleo and Brontes. First of all, cheesy and lazy as fuck. I feel like that was just a way for Jenna to tell the reader what Brontes' plan was, or to further show how much of a dick they are, even though we already know. Also, just the whole being tortured thing. Really?? How many times have I seen that before??And then the  w a y  it ended. I was so disappointed. Aside from the fact that the last challenge/the maze felt rushed, the fight between Kaleo, Tobias, and Flynn was so boring and cliche. The way Flynn and Tobias worked together to defeat Kaleo. How Tobias was able to take down this ruthless assassin ("Fuck your parting words" afsdwkjld). And then what happened after Leila was revealed as the Savior, when they decide to go to his home. I honestly thought that the ending was just the end to another chapter and there would be another left. I turned the page and I was like, "Huh. So that's it then." I wasn't left feeling excited or looking forward to what happens next. I was disappointed and felt a little cheated. I spent all of this time following Tobias and Leila on their journey and I got nothing out of it, besides a forced romance. Also, I'm kinda just repeating myself here, but finding out that Leila is the Savior gives us some explanation for her behavior and actions, but now I wanna know wtf Cosima was for?? And why she was allowed to do that in the first place?? Like, I know Brontes wants to kill her, but why would Brontes let Cosima pretend to be the Savior. My guess is that Brontes would be able to kill Leila, the actual Savior, without creating chaos in the kingdom, but I don't know.

There is so much miscommunication/lack of communication in this story and I'm hte fuckign.There could've been so many questions answered throughout the book. I know I said Tobias has no right to know about Leila's plans, but she could've said something other than "it's complicated" or "you wouldn't understand." How many times did that happen?? Right when I thought we might learn something Leila would go on to say that Tobias couldn't find out, or something would come up and she would have to leave before she could tell him anything. This might've been able to work once, MAYBE twice, but it happened so often that I knew those kinds of scenes were useless and wouldn't provide us with anything, so it took whatever suspense was supposed to be there away.You could argue that because TSC is written in third person limited Tobias wouldn't know all of the secrets to the tournament and the government or whatever, but the way Jenna revealed things was so cheap. He suddenly gets an explanation from Leila at the very end, and Brontes and Kaleo capture him and tell him what their plan is. It would've been so much more interesting if Tobias took small things he learned here and there and pieced it together himself, or at least had some theories. Instead he focuses on Leila this, Leila that, why won't Leila tell me anything. All he does is brood and complain and it's so goddamn old.It kinda felt like the, "And then I woke up and realized it was all a dream" explanation.

I also really, really hate the way she treated her LGBT characters, aside from Dephi, she was decent. But she used the “kill you gays” trope. I’m not saying they needed to stay alive, I understand most of them were going to die, but she killed off one of them and then completely got rid of the other.

And then Kaleo. From what I can tell he’s bisexual.Which is obviously not a bad thing, but he wasn’t just a perv, he was disgusting and invasive, and even worse threatened to sexually assault assault Tobias, which feeds into the idea that bisexual people are just predators and want to fuck everything (Idk if I’m being clear about this hhh)

But yeah that’s all for now y’all

#mine #should I tag this? I feel like I shouldn't #¯\_(ツ)_/¯ #the savior's champion #tsc #book review #kind of lol #the saviors champion review #tsc review #also if y'all wanna give me your thoughts they are def welcome