#i just. idk man i'm sick of people saying i'm a non man loving non men. i'm a woman who loves women shut up

[onebraincell-itmiebcraft]

Okay time for the liveblogging of real life in order (liveblogging life SMP call that lifeblogging) I have never done this b4 be easy on me

Grian

I've already watched his perspective at like 5 in the morning but heyyyyy nothing wrong with rewatching with added non sleep deprived commentary but also not really memories of what I originally thought watching this too :^))

I remember being so stunned they called it real life and the anatomically correct heart 🫀tickled my funny bone heeheehoo hahaha

Thought when grian said replay 3rd life I thought they'd reenact it 😭

We live in a society taxes man (I could ramble about it)

GRIAN IRL FACE!!!

has anyone fell over btw?

No lie that B can BIG

Reminds me of slimecicle jshitt and traves VR Minecraft where Travis got progressively shorter what a laugh

Does Scott ever see his scream

Is it take the Mick or take the nick love that idiom

RENDOG!

Scar looks like a child doing that thing

Awww hug

ABUSE

scar take the headset off dzuh 🫀🫀🫀

Grian literally me balance issues

Yugioh????

I called it, scar would say he's American 😎

I'm eating dinner while watching this at the same time what fun w

Giran called solidaritygaming jimmy no way + he died first fr this time + loud "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!" Perfectly timed his mic peaking is iconic

Ha haa!

He ear him bread

Really putting the mine in craft for Minecraft

reminds me of secret life EP 4 and scar is sweaty

*scar noises*

How did scar drop his phone???

Check your wrist? More like check your a- (tom cardy référence)

I love the way VR makes you hit stuff goofy

Can you run in game if you irl

(watch him die)

Haha he died

Why Jim is he sabotaging him

Jim Jim Jim gym gym

Doesn't Jim die here oh LMFAO he does

Jimmy you are famous to me

(scout voice) Chicken

How did scar die???

I love how vr makes them expressive Jim pointing to village house is so funny

There's only one bed

Wtf is happening in top right corner in 9min 30 sec

Ayyyyy there's grian the maniac love the casual position of the arms

Last life you can join me moment

Egg

Grian gaslighting

Jimmy you wanna dance quote of the year

PvP is so silly

Skizz is fighting a losing battle Jim killed him icon

I love how grian and Jim's yells overlap there's probably something music theory there idk

Awww scar he's so funny

Go pick him up from daycare haha

Facing away from the camera we live in a society

OHHHHH impulse big smart man Jimmy's arm movements are so smooth it's solly

Jimmy immediately leaving for fish cocomelon brain I agree

Love the arm movements

Lol they actually like down

It's okay grian scuffed is worth celebrating

Has anyone layed on their side

Friend just texted me about my monologue what am I doing man I have an audition tomorrow

Anyway Minecraft vr

The lying down model inventory so goofy

Rewatching the bread scene no wonder tumblr loves it looks like Jim jam actually has a mouth 👄

Impulsesv guess the build sheep flashbacks

Best sleepover

Polyamorous tony (died)

Sleepover reminds me of crazy Christmas w/gem and pearl

Grown men learn how to close doors

Minecraft fatshaming grian smh my head

Man thought it was more than Joel there + o2 max(xing) scar love it (i use maxxing ironically) (it's such a stupid suffix to me linguistically funny) (I hate incels) (don't cancel me tumblr) (I love all genders)

Two steps: die, and die

Jimmy isn't on fire??

Casual "it burns so much!" Love it

Wait right Jim still has a wooden sword

Joel Joel Joel Joel you know that one part in waiting for Godot where they just go back and forth in saying aideu yeah

So silly

Jim saying get in British people man

"noffing" - joel is it a British thing

Love Joel screaming he's so malding

Just remembered how scary heights are in VR because I thought for a second "why don't they jump down? are they stupid?" (Meme Reference) (Didn't actually think that) ("Stupid" is kinda stupid but I digress)

Hole

Boob stroke

Does scar enjoy the swimming

Why *does* swimming cause motion sickness anyway

Why bucket scar (this is a bucket)

Brain eating amoeba

GOON SQUAD!!!

Love Grian's arm movements I really did thonk Jim was gonna win for the funnies

He says come here weirdly

The joy of killing

Is Jim punching

It's okay hiking simulation

Go Jim go what a gamer boy

I remember the triple dog door dugout is like... Gem's? Joel's? Uhhhh I fotgor

Concussion era

Fresh meat

I just love their dynamics

JIM STOP SOUNDING LIKE THAT it's like his eyes are 🥺 and his mouth is boowomp spongebob like he's got tears in eyes scrimblo sounding ass

Ohhh there's my favourite theatre kids

'orrible

Joel saying boys make me happy

Wait that can misinterpreted

Joel saying "boys" sounds pleasant to my ears

I remember watching this part and going GRIAN FIRST OUT HUH???

awww the funnies

Love the way gem says "we're the last Grians. Grians? Greens!" It's like... Spunky

Grian falling reminds me of my scuffed keyboard when it registers a button press as a hold and then I like never stop walking right *sigh*

The downward spiral by nine inch nials

Ascending is TRUE watcher lore

Oh the music is so cute

Bye scar! Bye Joel!

Okay never let me liveblog cook again i kinda listened to the vid instead of watching reading this does not make sense to anyone but me reference hell half formulated thoughts RIP BOZO HAHA

Maybe I'll like do it in 5 mins chunks for JJJJJJoel and the next ones onward I spent like an hour on this wayyyyy too long for incomplete sentences

End

#real life smp #real life #real life spoilers #rlsmp #grian #liveblogging #life series #life smp #trafficblr #what is wrong with me #rlsmp liveblogging

[occasionally-victor]

artblock hitted me harder than i thought, this (↓) took me nearly 3 months to do lmao anyways

idk wanted to visualise some hc's i have for some qsmp characters i guess (this is definitely not all i have in brain tho) (also, random code monster in a corner because i didn't have enough place for what i wanted and just decided to draw it separately later)

MORE DETAILED NOTES UNDER THE CUT:

Q!Cellbit:

• I really wanted to keep him as human at first, but well, i love giving non-human traits to my faves and cat really fits him guys I'm sorry my first thought about him when i started watching him is that qCell is a pathetic wet cat it was predestined really. Anyways, i noticed not many artists (the ones who catboy-ifying him. maybe its just a me problem tho) give him whiskers, so i gave him whiskers👍

• Gray hairs were a random detail i decided to add, but then i gave it some thought and honestly, his life was (still tbh) stressful - so i guess it works👍

• Made half of his hair (not even stopping at just head hair) white just because im extra sometimes. Like, i could stop at just one streak, but why would i do that?

• Got some of his shit together after being taken away by Feds and stopped looking like he is about to pass out from everything really. God bles love truly changes people👍 It doesn't change the horrific eye bags tho, they are never going away, saying as a person with eyes bags, those bad boys are the part of me at this point, so are they for him

• Burn marks are mostly on body, they haven't touched face all that much.

Q!Baghera:

• Okay, like i said, she's human-duckling shapeshifter - what that means, is that she can basically take any form ranging from just a normal human to just a normal duckling. Will point out - not a duck. Duckling.

• q!Baghs usually takes the form that is closer to human, but still has some duckling traits - because they are kinda looking cool and also like that water doesn't bother her nearly as much ig. 70% of her body is actually covered with down feathers - fluffye👍

• Now that i think, wouldn't she kinda easily float in the water? At least a bit? Because of all duckling feathers? Sick.

Q!Etoiles:

• Cucumber👍 Quite literally tho, he doesn't even have blood. Literally edible. Can regrow cut off limbs by sitting in a water for a bit. All that stuff.

• Idk who first thought of kintsugi scars for him, but this person is a genius.

• LEAFY HAIR! The flowers and tendrils are also parts of a hair and they glow! I love when glow!

• Idk, i love the idea of scarf going woosh, so i gave q!Et it👍 The yellow parts if it also glow.

• Star-freckles! Because why won't a cucumber man have star-freckles! Their glow mostly seen in the dark and they also blink.

Q!Tazercraft:

• q!Mike is a creeper hybrid with like 45% of creeper in him. The green parts are really patchy all over the body, and also fluffy. He doesn't explode often (nearly never, not enough creeper in him ig).

• q!Pac is a creature indeed👍 He is something alien-esque - fishlike, that's kinda all i can say. More importantly, he glows and can regulate that glow.

• They weren't always like that tho. They were humans for the most of their life, but something happened (I haven't thought of something yet) and now they are like that👍

• Deffo soulmates in a "they are literally bonded by an actual soul" way.

Q!Fit: (i dont have much for him and i watch him a lot lmao. I think with him i just follow canon ahah)

• One of the very few of actual just humans on the server

#art #fanart #mcyt #qsmp #cellbit #qsmp cellbit #etoiles #qsmp etoiles #baghera jones #qsmp baghera #mikethelink #pactw #qsmp tazercraft #fitmc #qsmp fitmc #dont even watch french much ahah well i had to get it out at some point #well see ya in another 3 months /j #take a shot every time i use 👍 emote

[nieves-de-sugui]

My Personal Weatherman watch rambles

Hdhalajgsmanabkaksjalambaa. It's been 18378291910 years. I am ready! HERE WE GO in a non spoilery way

AAAAAAAHHHH

I have barely hit play and I'm already losing it xD

Last time I see this opening :') I'm nor ready to say goodbye

Segasaki idk if this is the most eficiente way to make sure you communicate but I'll take it

Aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh I was not expecting this

I am LOVING THIS

THEY ARE TALKING PEOPLE

They drive me crazy

No words

Of course someone was gonna get sick because of standing in the rain

Ajhshskakakq I can't make comments

This is just... TOO CUUUUTEEEE

Man-san is talking too fast again

Ahgekajajak

Omg, Yoh you're so stupid

Ayayay Yoh, be a little honest will you

Omg is that what I think it is???

YES

Uahshjakakajakaka I'm dying of happiness

I can't believe this, more talking????? Wow how far we've come

IAJSHDHJQKAHSHALAJJAKAJJSKAKAKA

MY CHEST IS GONNA EXPLODE OF HAPPINESS

I won't look at food the same ever again

I have no words left friends. I haven't felt like this ever since the first season of UtsuKare. This is up there in my favorite shows of all time. Thank you so much to Higuchi Kouhei, Mashiko Atsuiki and Kato Ayaka for making this amazing show. It has been such a journey ❤❤❤❤❤

#my personal weatherman #taikan yoho #watch rambles

[brothersonahotelbed]

NICO NICO OH MY GOF HI HI I'VE MISSED YOU SO MUCH im so sorry i just went and disappeared on you like that. went through a really bad time and got sick of my blog (which i honestly have been for a good while) and just decided to wipe everything and be alone for a little. it's so good you should try suddenly disappearing into a fog sometimes I'll just want for you to come back when you've cleared your mind. sorry i miss you a lot and it's so nice to get to talk to you again :). oh here's some poetry from a book i've acquired through ah id say dubious means and ive bookmarked some that reminded me of you and your sea thing. im gonna go through and find some more for you. anyway PLEASE catch me up on things how's everything have you been writing show me show me how are your little silly creatures any new stuff youre insane about any cool things you wanna show me tell me everything man IVE MISSED YOU MWUAHMWUAHMUWHA

enyway these are the poems 👍. ly man

ZEDFER OH MY GOD HI FOR THE LOVE OF GOD HELLO I MISSED YOU SM!!!!!!!!!!

okay first before anything please please PLEASE don't be sorry for disappearing and retreating into the shadows for a bit. i mean it. you're braver than all of us for knowing when to take a break and even having the guts to deactivate for the betterment of your mental health especially with your posts blowing up and people being annoying and going through shit with your mental health and everything, i'm proud of you for taking that step & happy you did it!!! of course i was worried but i'm glad you're here and i'm glad you were able to do that to help scrape the grime and dirt off <3 seriously. :)

umm how things are going!!! idk nothing much has changed since you've been gone tbh? i just found out my coworkers at the library and i are getting a pay increase because the county loves us soooooooooo much and bc we've been working so hard, so that's cool!! i also finished writing a good omens fic that turned out to be 15 pages long (rip) and it was the first piece of non-poetry writing that i've attempted AND FINISHED in over a year. ACK!!!! im v proud of it :]

ALSO a little bit of tragic news our favorite girl (guitar) vendetta, my beautiful lovely woman, is like. on the fritz for some reason? her channel switch is fizzling out and she's have connection issues with the amp and it's really sad. but!! since my birthday is next month (the 17th), i talked to my parents and they agreed that for my bday present they would help me pay for a NEW GUITAR????. THIS IS THE ONE I HAD MY EYE ON

HE IS SO SO SO BEAUTIFUL I GET HARD WHENEVER I LOOK AT HIM ohhhhmy god

last thing, i watched juno 2007 (Finally!) during your absence AND IT WAS SO FUCKING GOOD I CAN'T BELIEVE IT TOOK ME THIS LONG TO WATCH IT. elliot page and his little egg self :') idk it made me tear up a little i loved it so much. <3

my cats are as beastly as ever of course. here are some pictures:

anyway. JUNO THOSE POEMS. LIKE ARE YOU FOR REAL RIGHT NOW I AM LOSING IT OVER THE FACT THAT YOU THOUGHT OF ME :'))I NEED TO TATTOO THEM ON MY HEART FOREVER I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AAGH. THANK YOU FOR SENDING THEM TO ME<3

we all missed you so much man it hasn't been the same without you here. i love you so much zed so so so much <3333

#hazrdouswaste #stupid goofy smile on my face answering this ask rn.....WHATEVER I LOVE MY FRIENDS OK

[hospitalterrorizer]

diary57

11/7-8/2023

tuesday - wednesday

not a boring day, today.

i ate leftovers from yesterday and had leftover ramen that my gf didn't finish. i also ate candy and stuff and it's made me feel sort of sick, or at least like, sick with myself. but whatever. thursday is errand day but i don't think i'm going then. idk what i'm doing tomorrow, i'm probably going to try and record more, today i got 2 songs re-recorded basically, i think i'll like them a lot more when i slot those parts in and stuff. what else. mostly i vc'd today with a friend who was super deliriously drunk, and a friend who was not drunk our drunk friend got on this thing, of digging through his steam library for all of these dumb games he had. there was this one about a courier frog, we all were amazed and charmed by the shitty unity effort it was, and how there was this giant transformer running in circles for no reason, a crime scene, the frog held a knife, and a man on a roof. all unrelated to the game, or really even its setting, a row of 8 houses in a suburb, a shitty prefab full of invisible walls. for some reason that game made me want to play videogames more again. things are mysterious that way. seeing him get drunker, and play other games, made me want to play games less though. he was so drunk, thus out of it, while playing a puzzle game called chuzzle, he was getting really, i don't know, i don't know if he was for real frustrated or doing a joke where he was acting frustrated and crazy, by this time the vc had filled up more, the person who introduced him to the server we're in joined and i haven't vc'd w/ her in forever, a friend who is intermittently around in vc joined for a minute too, all while our drunk friend was sat there, staring at his screen, manic and silent, playing a kind of weird and cruel version of bejeweled where you torture strange creatures, made up of hair and eyes. he stayed on that game for like an hour. then he moved onto some other puzzle game that was like, you move blocks around a non-environment, it looked like lame mahjong tiles. anyways he was pretty good at that one and then hit the difficulty bump, and was still basically good but also drunk and still doing his frustrated guy bit, he did some stuff i feel bad about, i was writing it out but there's no reason to do that i think, i can't tell if it was a bit or not, or where it ends, if him feeling free to do some stuff as a bit is just him being able to actually just do certain things for real or not. he did start what i hope was a fake crying thing, where he was like, doing this intense fake ugly cry face, at least i hope it was fake, i asked our friend who knows him irl and she said he is just being a #mastermanipulator but i honestly can't tell still and feel bad basically because i was having a go at him being bad at a puzzle, not really mean i was just saying like "you're making the wrong shape." i don't know. it was funny hearing him say really slurred nonsense, and then say to us all, "can't you be quiet." or "shut your trap" and stuff like that. it was still a little stressful. i dunno. alcohol is kind of nightmarish to me, at least he had people around a while, so it wasn't totally drinking alone. or he was drunk alone but had some people beside him, to make it less soul-destroying. the people i knew who would do that were really really worrying. the vc was a lot of fun though, it's tragic how it makes me snack though, i love to eat salty trash while vcing. i am also just generally so hungry, always.

outside of that, uhhhhh, nothing really, it's a lot of just bullshitting about random stuff in those vcs, i keep thinking about watching this dogra magra movie. maybe i'll try that rn. thinking about the progress on the album, it's feeling closer and closer, i wonder how much closer i can get, if i keep re-recording stuff i'm maybe not happy with this week, that'd be good, but i wonder if i'd feel closer if i tried getting some lyrics out for these newer songs. or they do have lyrics, some at least, those ones are recorded thoughhhhhhhhhghghgh. i dunno. i think by the end of this week i should take a closer inventory of where these songs are, i should also try getting the vocals down for one of these older songs w/ lyrics. as it stands, there's a couple songs i want to still master differently, really minor guitar tone things i think. thennnn, there's one i definitely want to do some minor arranging on to get one part to be less fucked up, or maybe not arranging, just come in differently w/ vox, add an additional guitar bit. and then there's still one i for sure need to get the vocals right on, or a couple i guess.

anyway i watched like half of it i have to finish it 2morrowww, so

byebye!!!!!!!!!

[allyriadayne]

do u think aegon is a fujoshi? he was really into the harwin/criston scene and the sight of 3 grown men tackling harwin. ok i'm asking half joking but he no doubt got some sick pleasure out of that! which also kinda ties back to the fighting pits*--it's just so "oh. the inherent eroticism permeating the normalized violence of our society. hot. say no more, will fetishize and sexualize."

*there's more to The Pits than just PleasureTM, which veers more onto self-harm/trauma recreation, but imma leave that can of worms sealed for now.

also who do u think he would love to see top aemond the most? both out of a sicko desire to see his brother forced into rectum-/penetration-related (and simplified!) sexual submission**, but also because he wants to see his stuck-up brother experience the highs and lows of prostate stimulation--because "actually. it's ok to submit bro its ok to cum from getting railed bro. it's just bodily pleasure, no deeper meaning. free yourself from the societal shameTM pervading the act of taking dick. but also. submit. to the Shaft. (but. also to me, most of all.)" because aegon's such a nice good big brother :_) touching praxis-fujoshism healing broken brotherly bond... wow. idk who this is for lmao.

**but most of all he's submitting to aegon in that scenario! where aegon is the Orchestrator--the orchestrator of the pranks targeting aemond, the orchestrator of aemond's sexual initiation, and henceforth desire (or, non-desire; or, short, TraumaTM), and the orchestrator of who knows what else! and it's a kind of gnostic paranoia pervading aemond's thought where aegon is just around the corner, ready to eat his face, and who has put arsenic in the wine and the pasta while no one was looking, and won't grandsire pleaseeee chain him to the bed again. after all, what is a big brother but a god with restricted (and thus heightened) authority and access to violence. and what do u do when that god is a drunken playful hurt and hurting freakazoid... oh aemond ur really in The Pits aren't you... and i wanna watch!

(and i think aegon has similar dynamic with jace and, by way of extrapolation on my part, daeron. (and to and extend helaena/girls-women in general, but control over boys and men is more intoxicating/gratifying in the sense where they (boys/men) are contrasted against the girline/female ontologically fixed state of hysteria/vulnerability, which retroactively creates "the boy/the man" as something intellectual, unpliable, untouchable. which makes aegon wanna chew on it even more. at least when he can muster up enough strength and interest.) this mode of control/abuse also extends to erryk, criston, gwayne, otto etc, and the other men of his later court.)

(love ur gifs btw!)

hiiiiii

to answer your very serious question, do i think aegon is a fujoshi? no, i don't think he seriously is. i think he likes these obvious displays of power, the same way the abuse of the maids ties back to him exerting the only kind of control he has over people. and obviously there IS a sexual element in the satisfaction of making people submit to him so maybe we can say he enjoys men submitting to him. does that count? idk ponder that. with the pits i mostly agree with you + the pits, the drink, the whoring all as a way of going away and forgetting he lives such a shitty caged life in the worst possible way.

i don't think aegon particularly cares who tops aemond as long as aemond is getting railed and therefore become less annoying (to aegon about his own vices). if aegon can knock aemond off that pedestal everyone puts him on, then he's content. this is why i'm going to enjoy very much when aemond comes home after storm's end and aegon throws him a party. aren't you enjoying this? aren't you enjoying the fact that for once you are worse than me? that i did good and you didn't? that mother is unhappy with you so this is my chance to finally be her favorite son? anyway

"but most of all he's submitting to aegon in that scenario! where aegon is the Orchestrator--the orchestrator of the pranks targeting aemond, the orchestrator of aemond's sexual initiation, and henceforth desire (or, non-desire; or, short, TraumaTM)" yes yes for sure, in aemond's psyche aegon is the be all and end all; he's the one who (indirectly) took his virginity, made him claim vhagar and in consequence lose the eye and develop his mommy issues, singlehandedly created aemond's other myriad of issues, and worst of all, he's going to be king. even if aegon is the worst human being he knows, he is aemond's final ambition, to be king, the first born son, to have the kind of power and authority aegon only appears to use for something other than sex when he is given the throne, to be able to feel as 'free' as he thinks aegon is (conversely, aegon thinks aemond is freer than him). but for me, aemond is nothing without aegon, without as you, say "aegon [...] around the corner, ready to eat his face" while aegon could do more or less the same without his resentful little brother under his foot, he's just too selfish and self centered!

tbh aegon's control of his little posse back in ep 6 is more of head bully and his minions kind of thing, but as he grows up i don't think he has friends/acquaintances to exert his control over so he turns to the easiest targets (aemond is boring now and thinks he's aegon's father and pretends to care too much about duty), maids and women and probably to the poor people of KL. but yes YESS when he becomes king and has the entire court and kingdom at his beck and call........i WILL enjoy it thoroughly

#anonymous #ask #aemond is really in the pits and i want to watch too!! i love to put that miserable little freak in situations #please come off anon and let's talk you've done a lot for my mental health by beginning your ask the way you did #is aegon a fujoshi? not exactly¸ but when god sings with his creations will aegon not be part of the mlm choir?

[37-children-of-the-dreams]

Oh, thats interesting. Actually, does Hector think of Eira as his daughter, or not? Cause it means that both Six and Eira aren't related to him, but like they're his children, but his married children, and thats sounds weird. Six is kinda more like his son cause of still active papers, but idk, it feels like trope "I raised my own child and other person's child like my own, but I'm ok if they'll marry" but kinda not, cause even Eira thought of Hector and Klipse as her parents when decided not to burn marriage papers.

I know read one story, old one, where girl's father gone and had another family where he had son, and she hated that son, but when he arrived to her she got used to him and married him. Wait, it does sounds like Six's and Eira's story. Anyway, that feels like incest. But Eira doesn't have nor Hector's nor Klipse's boold. Here we can have meme with stepsister.

Also, what gender is Hector? I mean, it's non binary, trans, or maybe what it's original sex?

Eira and Six’s relationship isn’t incest at all, and idk on the stepsister meme, but go off. They’re not even remotely related in terms of royal incest. Their relationship does sound like it comes from Game of Thrones and House of the Dragons, and I do take inspiration from historical royal marriage references from around the world for their relationship, but I make sure to modernize it for it to fit the story, and make sure the two aren’t that related even if it sounds like it’s incest.

Hector does see Eira as his surrogate daughter. He helped create her and was there for every development stage of Eira’s gestation process. Then, when Klipse left, and Eveline got too sick, and Edward neglected Eira, Hector was the one raising her even when he could have just paid a nanny or governess to raise her. Hector has been Eira’s primary parental figure for the majority of her life, and even when Hector has his own children, he’s still willing to act like he’s Eira’s parent when she needs it.

Now, yes Hector is Six’s stepparent, and he does see Six as a son he gained from Klipse’s cloning process, but the reason he’s not weirded out by the fact that his surrogate daughter and stepson are married is the fact that he knows they’re not that much related, and that compared to past royal marriages from around the world, he did his job in securing the throne having heirs. Yes, people will say he married off his “children” to each other, but like at least he made sure they’re devoted and loving to each other compared to an arranged marriage that would destroy a royal lineage.

Now, Eira’s relationship with Klipse. It’s about to fracture due to meeting Six and learning that Klipse has been abusing him. She’s about to metaphorically see that Klipse isn’t the same father she used to know, and afterwards will regret burning those papers because it also means she tied Hector and Braille to horrible man who had changed for the worse. She actually stops thinking Klipse is the surrogate father she loved, and in the end, the only reason Eira would say Klipse is her father is because he’s her FATHER-IN-LAW through her marriage to Six.

Lastly, Hector is intersex. Hector can be she/he/they depending on what Hector wants people to talk to him as.

#monsuno #anon ask

[ileaveclawmarks]

different anon here but I just want to say I genuinely appreciate how unapologetic and confident you are about ur body hair especially as someone who is attracted to women with body hair and as someone who prefers to not shave but feels pressured to due to societal norms and what not idk I guess I'm just wondering how you like got over/ stopped caring about what other people think cause that's what's difficult for me :/

Thats literally everything i want to hear. i love doing this cuz not only is the insane excess body hairy a huge automatic dyke magnet that i dont even have to put any work into, but also because for every 10 people who look at me with revulsion theres always 1 person who thinks … maybe i can also have the confidence to do that. Thats my revolution. okay this ones gonna be long so hit that read more

So. when i was a novice non-shaver going out in public with even just a sliver of hairy leg showing literally gripped me in fear, like panic stricken burning fear. It was insane and pathetic and ridiculous how disabling this terror was over such a stupid arbitrary thing. I used 2 have repetitive nightmares about it, just the sickest dread terror imaginable. LMFAO.

If ur gonna ask how to get over that fear the straight answer is u cant, not fully. This is the product of some serious conditioning and socialization that has been at work since u were born. like it doesnt just go away. Even i havent gotten over it, like sometimes i seriously struggle with it. U can definitely get used to it though. I prefer to not shave and feel that everyday terror over shaving. And ill tell u why, so u can approach it with the same reasoning.

first of all i hated the physical act of shaving, really fckin hated waxing, every hair removal method is either painful, time consuming or expensive. And its worthless anyways because ur stubble is back in by the next morning. Who benefits?? and what are the consequences? I am making my body unnatural, conformist, and alien to me through a tedious and painful process. why do i harm myself in this way? Why put my psyche thru this? why is my body wrong in its natural state? what happens if i DONT shave?

and this is the crux of the matter: NOTHING HAPPENS. Other than the fact that it creates this fear, there is NO consequence to not shaving. In general no one will care and no one will treat you any different. Nothing will change in your daily life. you may likely get stares or rude comments from strangers on occasion but at the end of the day those things dont really matter. They seriously dont matter at all. Let go of the need to be judged correctly by all strangers. These people are fleeting milliseconds of your life. Remember this every time u go out.

and u must go out ... in this case exposure therapy really does work. Theres literally nothing else 2 do but go out unshaved. Just force urself over and over. Just do it. Do it until u dont even realize anymore. The day will come! U wont even notice it until ur looking at the women around u in public and u find it strange to see them hairless. On this day u will revel in ur shavelessness. Thank god u dont look like the prepubescent pedophilic fantasy that the mans world wants u to look like. U will view it with revulsion and horror, the idea of making urself into a little hairless girl to emulate their sick pornography and obsession with fucking literal minors. Never again!!!! This is where the revolution starts!!!

and i will tell u now. Once u finally grow out ur leg hair and theres no stubble or itchiness left it is going to feel so nice. Stroke it nd shit, for real. This is important. Look at it with luv. If you cant do that, look at it with neutrality. GET USED 2 ITS PRESENCE ... this is ur one and only body.

Now, if u can, find urself a group of women or lesbians who also dont shave. Look for urself in them and feel comforted by the fact that u wont b judged here. Get ur mind used to the NORMALCY of body hair. If ur lucky u might have other lesbian or even just alternative friends who find your body hair sexy or are jealous of ur confidence in growing it out. HUGE EGO BOOST! Take it when u can find it. This one helped me a lot because i am a natural attention whore and narcissist.

And besides if ur anything like me in that u fucking hate males with a militant blood boiling violent rage, then u might also remind urself: the struggle you face over your body hair is ABSENT in all the men that you see around you. Absent. Never there and never will be. what gives them the right and not me? They live their lives so mindlessly free of any of this. Dont shave your legs cuz … fuck em, thats why!!! 🗣 Show those sick mfers. Dyke revolution by just walking down the street and being comfortable in ur own skin. Love the strange looks that u get in public. Fuck them!!!

So thats how i mostly stopped caring about being unshaven, kind of a mix of acknowledging how stupid it is to do so as well as a bit of exposure therapy, community, and good old dyke hatred and cynicism. Remember that every time you go out you are showing other women that this is a possibility for them too. I hope this little guide gave u some inspiration for the future. I appreciate how hard it is to stop shaving but honestly once u do stop its even harder to start doing it again. Good luck and i wish u all the strength, drive, confidence and attitude u r going 2 need. And if u ever want to talk more about it im always right here at ileaveclawmarks on tumblr.com ... 🤍🤍🤍

[kkujo]

okay idk how exactly to phrase this so bear with me but i kind of hate the increase i've seen lately in defining lesbianism as "a non-man attracted to non-men" like. i know it's to include nonbinary lesbians which is important obviously. but we shouldn't be defined by who we DON'T love and by how we relate to men. like. nobody defines gay men as "non-women attracted to non-women" it would just be weird?? why are we doing that for lesbians

and not every nblw is a lesbian!!! some nb people are male aligned and won't call themselves a lesbian! it's ignorant to say "non-men" when you mean fem aligned nonbinary people. bc nonbinary isn't some magic 3rd gender, it's a range of identities that fall outside of the binary. so a nonbinary person could use male pronouns and terms, present as male, identify as more male etc and while they're still nonbinary, if they love women they could identify as straight? loving women as a non-man doesn't necessarily make you a lesbian. or u might identify as gay if ur a male aligned nonbinary person and ur only attracted to male aligned nonbinary people. ur a non-man attracted to non-men. does that make you a lesbian? no!!

nonbinary people who aren't skinny white feminine afab people EXIST and honestly i think that's the kind of nb person people mean when they say "non-man" bc people still see nonbinary as one generic identity that you can fit into a box.

you guys need to realise that SOME nonbinary people are INHERENTLY included in every sexuality label. you don't need to adapt your sexuality to include nb people because they are already included!!! and saying that ALL nonbinary people can have a lesbian relationship is stupid when some nonbinary people are male leaning and have nblw or nblnb relationships that they're comfortable labelling as straight or gay mlm. like... lesbians are women who love women. sometimes that attraction does include people who don't identify as female which doesn't make them any less nonbinary!! but saying ALL non-men attracted to non-men are lesbians is just ignorant.

and with this i've seen a huge rise in people saying trans men can be lesbians and lesbians can be attracted to trans men? and it's usually the same people who use the "non-men attracted to non-men" definition like? at that point you are LITERALLY saying you don't view trans men as real men?? if you wouldn't be comfortable with a cis man calling himself a lesbian you shouldn't be comfortable with a trans man calling himself a lesbian. i feel like people are so caught up in trying not to be straight that they would literally rather be transphobic than have someone identify as straight lmao like. trans men are men therefore they can't be lesbians!!! literally where is the confusion

#aj.txt #long post #i just. idk man i'm sick of people saying i'm a non man loving non men. i'm a woman who loves women shut up #like yeah that attraction can include certain nb people. but so can EVERY attraction. BC NONBINARY ISN'T ONE SECRET 3RD GENDER #IT'S JUST A RANGE OF IDENTITIES OUTSIDE OF THE BINARY. IT'S INCLUDED IN LITERALLY EVERY LABEL #gay people will be attracted to SOME nonbinary people!!!! straight people will be attracted to some nonbinary people!!! #i hate being defined by how i relate to men and by who i'm NOT attracted to #it's really annoying. and u never see people saying that about gay men #no one says gay men are 'non women attracted to non women'. and u know why. it's because people assume all nonbinary people are Women Lite #a nonbinary person can be 99% a man but identity as nonbinary! if they love women it doesn't necessarily make them a lesbian! #sorry if anything i said has t*rf vibes i really struggled w the phrasing so i really hope it can't be interpreted in that way #i literally do support nb lesbians and i get why people say this but i just have issues with this definition bc it's just. 😕 #i'm not a non-man i'm a woman what is wrong w u #also the majority of nonbinary lesbians GET that lesbian is a fem identity and will not mind getting grouped in with women #if they're SO uncomfortable being grouped w women that suggests they r more male leaning and maybe lesbian isn't the right identity for them #like. no nb lesbian is hearing lesbian being defined as women loving women and going HEY WHAT ABOUT ME I'M NOT A WOMAN!!!!! #they get it. seriously #OKAY TO REBLOG #also if you have thoughts on this i do wanna hear but please don't yell at me if u disagree with me thank u <3

[syndxlla]

Part eleven of the More To Love series

Summary: You get a chance to reflect on who you are, where you are with your relationships, and what you really want in life with the help of your mother, the Queen of Corellia. You meet some new seemingly friends, who quickly prove you otherwise.

Word Count: 7.1k, NO USE OF ‘y/n’

Warnings: Non-consensual kiss, swearing, alcohol

Author’s note: i am LIVID. why tumblr only lets you have a certain amount of paragraphs in a post IDK! it’s dumb haha and the only reason i went over is because there is so much dialogue in this. BASICALLY. I am making the decision to go easy on myself. I know earlier today I said part 11 would be split into two, but i am going to just make the second half be part 12. SO. i made a new moodboard for this chapter! i hope you like it :).

i wanna say a big THANK YOU to @stinky-child for helping me edit this chapter and getting it out on time!

PART 12 WILL BE RELEASED THURSDAY, MAY 27TH AT 6pm PST, 9pm EST.

part ten

Koska escorted you back to your quarters, the castle corridors were finally starting to calm down a little bit, however, more and more special guests who would be staying in the palace over the weekend walked in and out of doors, most of them not paying any attention to you because of your drab attire. You hoped the knight made it to his meeting on time and dry. There was no way to know until tomorrow morning, however. Koska was silent as she walked behind you, her footsteps much lighter than the knight’s. Your hair was thick and frizzy from the effects of the elements, and you kept your face down out of a foreign sense of shame.

Keeping your face down can’t hide that sense of shame from everyone, however, and before you can make it to your room, you’re hearing a joyful gasp and footsteps pattering in your direction. You look up from your walk of shame to see someone very important to you, it’s not your Knight, it’s not even Soniee, no. It’s your mother, the Queen of Corellia. She’s accompanied by three Corellian guards and she’s wearing the most beautiful yellow gown you had ever seen. It was clearly a gift from Bo-Katan. You smiled brightly, relieved to see someone you love. It had only been a few weeks but it felt like an eternity. You had completely forgotten she would be coming to your engagement ball. You’ve been so preoccupied with the plans and teaching the Knight how to dance that it completely slipped your mind. Your mother had a wide smile on her face, too, and wore the traditional Corellian crown. You ran to her and embraced her fighting around the waist, something that was not appropriate for royalty in public like this but you couldn’t care less. You had been so emotionally confused over the last few weeks that there was nothing you needed more than a fulfilling hug from your parent. She hums with joy when you come into her arms, and she runs her slender fingers through your beautiful hair. You sigh of relief in her embrace.

“I had forgotten you were coming.” You admit, holding back tears of relief. She chuckles in response.

“You look a mess.” She replies and you’re the one to chuckle this time.

“I’ve had quite the day.” You smile, blushing as you remember who you spent it with. “Come, I have so much to tell you.” You pull away, holding her hands in yours and then leading her to the closest sitting room. You were finally starting to understand the layout of the Mandalorian palace, it only took two weeks. This room was the same blue as the royal color, you guide her to sit by you on the sofa, and Koska awkwardly follows. You look over to the handmaiden before standing and walking in her direction. “Lady Reeves, you are dismissed.” You nod while speaking in a regal tone, but after stating it, your voice hushes and you whisper to her, “Is he going to be alright?” You ask in reference to the Knight.

She nods once, “Even if he was late, he’s bound to duty by the Queen, he’ll be okay.” Your stomach twists.

“What does that even mean?” You ask, there is much he is not telling you.

Koska sighs, she seemed to regret saying that. “I’ll worry about him, you enjoy your time with your mother.” She nods to the Queen who was patiently awaiting your return. You smile a “thank you” and walk back to the Corellian Queen. When Koska closes the door finally, you slouch into the couch, feeling pure relief as you were alone with your kin.

“You look absolutely exhausted.” Your mother says.

“I am, life here is exhausting. There are so many rules, much more than back at home.” You awkwardly shrug.

“We miss you.”

“I miss you too, more than you know.” You were so homesick these days. “I had to spend four days learning all the rules and customs and I still take private lessons from the literal queen so I don’t embarrass her anymore.” You roll your eyes, knowing that you couldn’t express this arrogance to anyone else in the palace and taking advantage of the chance now.

“Oh, I'm sorry love, I worried that there might be a bit of a culture shock.” She takes your hand with hers, stroking the stop of it with her own cold hands.

“Is father here?” You ask, your eyes hopeful. That glimmer immediately fades when she sighs, her eyes leaving yours. “What? What’s wrong?”

“He’s not coming…”

“What? Why?”

“He’s… sick, I didn’t want to tell you but it’s your right to know. You would have eventually found out anyway.” She somberly explains.

“Is he okay?”

“Yes, we think so. But traveling and socializing in his condition was not realistic. We understand that rumors will start, but his health is necessary before an impending war.” She frowns, and you try not to let it upset you too much. “Enough of that, tell me about this place.” Her tone immediately flips.

You smile, “It’s so hot, much hotter than Corellia. I mean the heat is exhausting and the dresses are heavy and the tea parties are always outside and I always feel overheated.” You complain.

“Do you at least like the prince?” She asks. “Is he cute?”

Now you must choose if you’re going to lie, like you have for the last fortnight, or be truthful with the only person you feel that you can be. You sigh, and just look at her, defeated, hoping that would be enough to tell her.

She hums empathetically. “Oh dear.”

“Yeah…” You sigh, happy she understood and you didn’t have to make the decision of communication.

“Well, keep your head up, I didn’t really like your father all that much until we had you.” She chuckles.

“What?” You ask, your eyes showing surprise. “I had no idea…” You weren’t sure how much you liked that thought, your parents had always been an example of a couple you’d like to experience for yourself. “Why had you never told me?”

“There was no reason for you to know before now. The older you get, the more you’ll learn what you need to hear.” She explains. You supposed she was right. “And remember, it’s supposed to be a partnership—marriage that is— it’s not so bad if you work at it.”

“Well, he certainly likes being solo.” You humph. “He’s very kind, and it’s clear he cares for his kingdom but-“ You knew you weren’t being completely truthful with her.

“But what?”

You debated your next words. You wanted to tell her, more than anything you wanted your mother to know what was really going on, but you knew you couldn’t. You knew she wouldn’t understand. This marriage is a diplomatic solution to an oncoming war of her home kingdom. She wouldn’t understand the strife. “Nothing.” You feel untruthful to yourself, but you can’t do anything about it. “I just feel like I will be unhappy in our marriage.”

“Marriage isn’t supposed to make you happy.”

You hated that, it wasn’t the first time she had said it to you, either. When an arranged marriage was first brought up, she said it then for the first time. The other time she said it to you was about three weeks ago, just before you were going to leave Corellia and come to this ornate prison. It was your last attempt to try and get out of it, but she uttered those words and you had to live with it.

This time, you pulled your hand away from hers. “But what about love? I thought you loved my father!?”

“I do love him, but that didn’t happen for a long time, like I said, not until you were born.”

“So then what’s the reason for all this? For sending me here for a big ball and a fancy wedding if I am not supposed to love the man I’m sharing these parties with? How am I to enjoy marriage before children then?” You stand up on these words out of frustration. You hated feeling like your only purpose in this world is to bear children, to produce an heir.

“Love between royals is not a natural thing, it can’t just happen between any two people. There must be that connection there and it often isn’t developed for a while.” She chuckles. “What? Did you think you were going to live inside one of those fairytales your wet nurse used to tell you before you went to sleep?” She asks, looking up at you, surprised.

“What do you mean ‘between royals’?”

“We must do what’s best for our people, it’s selfish to marry for love when you are royalty.”

You feel defeated.

“No… No, there's so much more to love. Love is not selfish, in fact, I believe that loving someone with our hesitation and unconditionally is the most selfless act one could ever do.” Your voice raises just a bit. You meant every word you said.

“If you feel this way about love, then surely you must love the Prince. What’s the problem then? We’ve been preparing you for this reality for years, it’s not a new concept that you would not love immediately, I can only imagine you would feel so emotionally because you have those feelings for someone.”

Did you?

You consider what she was saying, your eyes trailing to the side as you thought. You supposed she was right, there would be no reason for you to feel so passionately about it if you hadn’t experienced it for yourself.

But you weren’t having that experience with Korkie, the hell you weren’t.

Did you love the Knight? You don’t know his name, you don’t know his face, you don’t know anything about him and yet you are starting to think that infatuation has grown into adoration. Your legs feel weak, and you have to slowly lower yourself onto the couch again, feeling woozy from the realization. How did you let it get so far? Your confused face turns to look at your mother’s, eyebrows furrowed and mouth slightly open.

“I sense you realized something you didn’t already know.”

You slowly nod your head. Unsure of how to react, you fiddle with your fingers, trying to gain your bearings again. You expect your mother to speak up but she never does.

Before the conversation continues, however, the door is pulled open and three Knights are walking in, a Butler steps in, “Her Majesty, The Queen.” He says before nodding and stepping away. Bo-Katan glides into the room, regal as ever. You and your mother stand up from where you sat, curtsying for your hostess.

“Your Majesty.” She takes your mother’s hand, both of them smiling and kissing one another on either cheek. “I trust your travels were comfortable?”

“Yes, your coachmen were very hospitable.” Your mother nods.

Korkie then enters the rooms with another young Prince who you hadn't met before. He was blonde, and skinny as a twig. He wore a white and gold ceremonial cloak that covered his right shoulder. You smile at Korkie out of Obligation, and he and the other prince bow to the women in the room.

“Princess!” Korkie cheers, “This is my cousin, Prince Hugo of Bespin.”

“A pleasure to meet you, Your Highness.” He takes your hand and kisses the top of it, his smile charming and blue eyes bright. You were flattered by the gesture, humming.

“The pleasure is mine.” You follow royal protocol. Then, another woman enters the room. She’s tall, an intricate headpiece adorns long, black hair and she has hypnotic, black eyes hidden by deep set, hooded eyes. She’s beautiful, with toned skin and red dots drawn under her lips making her stand out from everyone in the room.

“Ah, Her Majesty Queen Clarya of Naboo.” Bo-Katan introduces. The Elven Queen Ahsoka then enters the room, and everyone, even the Queens bow out of respect before the door is closed. The parlor is suddenly very full, and your intimate moment with your mother is lost entirely. You are suddenly very aware of your disheveled look, and try to run your fingers through your hair a few times.

“It’s lovely to finally meet you.” Clarya says, smiling. “I’ve heard so much about you.” Taking your hand and giving you a friendly squeeze.

“Oh… I’m afraid I haven’t heard much about you.” You apologize.

“No troubles, You are all the gossip among the other Kingdoms.” The eastern queen explains.

“Yes, It appears you are.” Korkie says, moving to stand by your side. “How wonderful that my beautiful wife-to-be is regarded so highly across the world.” He tries to take your hand but you pull it away, not necessarily meaning to, but it was a reflex that you failed to suppress after realizing you were in love with an entirely different man. He clears his throat, and the aura in the room is awkward, you aren’t sure what to do, so you just say the first thing to come out of your mouth.

“Have any of you gone to the beach? It’s lovely!” You awkwardly smile before walking over to the drink cart underneath a portrait of a Manda’lor of a past generation. You try to ignore all the people, feeling a little embarrassed that they were all seeing you dressed like this. You didn’t even think of what suspicion could be born out of that phrase.

“Oh yes, our sandy beaches are widely loved by all.” Bo-Katan takes a seat on the sofa in the place you had sat at just moments before, crossing her ankles under her gown. You shakily pour amber liquid into a crystal glass, your hand shaking as you bring it to your lips, taking a sip of the alcohol.

“Nothing like the Corellian beaches, I assume?” Your mother asks. “Our beaches are rocky and often frozen over.”

“Ah yes, but the Corellian ship fjords are lovely, what a wonderful exposure to culture you raised your daughter with!” Ahsoka sings.

“She turned out alright.” Your mother teases and everyone chuckles warmly. You turn around after drinking, and sheepishly smile. Gods you hope she meant that.

“Well, we are all very excited for the ball tomorrow.” Clarya says, “My assistant worked on a mask for hours the night before we left. It will be an extravagant sight to see everyone dressed so festively.”

“Of course, but we all know none of us can compare to the fashion and extravagance of the Naboolians.” Korkie hums. Everyone chuckles again. You nervously looked out to all of them, you had just made possibly the biggest mistake of your life and none of them paid any attention to you despite it. You had just shown Korkie your first and only sign of true disinterest the night before your engagement ball and you desperately wished you could go back in time and take his hand instead of denying the act of affection, even if you didn’t feel good about it.

“I think you will all be pleased to hear that it was the Princess who came up with the Masquerade idea.” Bo gestures to you. You smile with your teeth, trying to act normal and not like you were secretly dying inside. There is general amusement when that is said, and you can’t help but fidget with the crystal alcohol glass, wanting to leave the room and return to the comfortable embrace of the Knight on the beach.

“Beautiful and smart!” Korkie’s cousin laughs, putting emphasis on the ‘and’. “It’s not every day you find a woman like that!” Everyone laughs again, and this time you force out a faux chuckle to seem more involved in the eyes of the others. “You better hang onto her, Kork!” Korkie smiled at his cousin's words, looking over to you. You feel weak, not liking all the attention. If this much attention was making you feel this way, what would the ball with hundreds of guests tomorrow night be like?

“Yes but, I can’t seem to remember going to the beach with you?” Korkie asks, his diplomatic voice cutting through the laughter. You nervously laugh. He knew something was up. How could you be so careless?

“What? Did I say something about the beach?” You try to play it off cluelessly.

“Oh come on, we all know you aren’t that ditzy.” His cousin groans

“Your fiance asked you a question, dear.” Your mother prods.

“Yes, did you go to the beach sometime during your time here?” Bo-Katan is the one to ask this time, and your legs are starting to feel unsteady.

“It’s not a bad thing, we just want to know.” Korkie takes a step in your direction, making you feel closed in. “We all love the beach here and we are happy you have gotten the chance to enjoy it.” You sensed there was an undertone with his true meaning.

You weren’t sure if you believed him when he said this, “Is it hot in here?” You chuckle, “I think I’ll have another drink, would you like one, Korkie? You ask before turning around and pouring another glass of brandy. He can see how shaky your hand is as you try to fill the cup. He stands behind you, wrapping his arm around you and cupping your hand with his in an attempt to make the pouring more steady. The action startles you, and you flinch as a reaction, dropping the crystal glass in your hand. It was already partially full, and it falls down to the floor in slow motion, golden drink splashing out of it as glass shatters on impact, making a loud, crashing sound that sends shards out across the floor and leaves a puddle of alcohol to soak into the bottom hem of Koska’s sister’s dress. The women of the room gasp from shock, and Hugo walks quickly over to see the mess. You look down at the glass in shock of what you just did, your heart sinking and stomach churning. Lady Tano is the next one to walk over to you, taking you by the shoulders and guiding you to one of the arm chairs, helping you sit down. The room was deathly silent now, you could hear your pulse ringing through your ears. Ahsoka crouches before you, ruling your hand with hers and trying to comfort you from the unexpected shock. Korkies hands are balled into fists. Was he angry with you?

“No worries.” Hugo laughs, trying to be an entertainer, “Butler!” The Butler opens the door.

“Is everything alright?” He asks after bowing.

“Yes, we just made a little mess, would you be so kind as to clean it up?” Hugo walks Korkie, who seems to be just as shocked and embarrassed as you, over to another armchair. The butler snaps and then whistles and three young maids come in, each one getting on their hands and knees to pick up the pieces of glass.

“Princess?” Your mother says, “Do you have something you would like to say to the Manda’lor?” She awkwardly asks, clearly trying to make good from the situation, side-eying Bo.

Your pale face turns to look at Bo, who had that same disappointed frown that you always see on her.

“My deepest apologies, your Majesty.” You clear your throat before painfully looking over to where Korkie sat, his hand resting in his palm and expression down turned.

“Well!” Hugo takes the center of the room. “No use in sitting here in silence, mistakes happen! Right Auntie?” He says to Bo.

“Of course.” She smiles, physically accepting your apology with a reassuring nod.

“Lovely, would anyone like some music?” He asks.

“That would be lovely, Hugo.” Lady Tano says in her ethereal voice. He smiles and walks over to the baby grand piano in the corner of the room, the same baby grand that you played at for your Knight a few weeks ago.

“The Princess plays!” Your mother says, trying to alleviate any tension.

“She does?” Hugo makes direct eye contact with you. “Would you like to play a duet with me?”

“Hugo, she just-“ Ahsoka begins but is interrupted by your mother.

“Oh won’t you play for us Dear?” She asks, smiling.

“Please! I have wanted to hear you play since I was told you could.” Bo-Katan asks. It would be rude to decline a request from the Queen and the Host of the night.

You nod and stand up, that could be just the thing you need to feel better. You walk over to the piano, stopping just before Hugo.

“Bass or Soprano?” He asks, muttering so quietly that only you can hear it.

“Soprano.” You say. He pulls the bench out and sits first since he would be playing the lower part. You then sit next to him, your hands still slightly shaking.

“Do you know the ‘Dathomirian Waltz’?” He asks. You nod. “Lovely, key of D minor then, I’ll follow you.” He pulls his hands up to the keys, and you follow, taking two deep breaths, the first to calm your shaking hands, the second to conduct both of you in at the same time. Together you play a set of intricate chords, Hugo emphasizing on the bass notes, playing a complex scale that brought his left hand over his right several times. You carry the melody, playing just slightly louder than him and allowing yourself to fall into the trance of performing. Your hands finally quit shaking after a few phrases of the music, allowing it to soothe your nerves. Music has always done that for you. All of the nobles in the room smile, the Naboolian Queen sighing at the beauty of the complicated piece. You can’t keep the smile from pulling on your lips. Korkie’s cousin was very talented, much better than you. His hand brushed against yours several times and you couldn’t help yourself from thinking about the Knight when Hugo touches you.

This was something you would never get with him. You would never get to share a memorable moment with others, never get to rub hands against each other in front of three Queens, never get to look one another in the eye without shame or secrecy. The thoughts start to overcome your consciousness, causing you to play a sour note. No one seemed to notice, but you were more aware of it than you should have been.

A beautiful piece, carefully composed and rehearsed, performed with the intent to dazzle, the intent to impress. However there will always be the sour note, an incorrect chord that the audience might not hear but those giving the show will dwell on undoubtedly.

Like the Kingdom of Mandalore.

——————————————

“Rise and Shine your Highness!” A sing-songy voice calls out to you before pulling the long, draping curtains apart and letting the warm Mandalorian sun pour into the room. You groan and flip over onto your side, your body is still exhausted from yesterday evening and you would like to sleep in a little longer.

“Oh, don’t give us that.” A more brash voice groans and you recognize it as Koska’s. You can hear a number of other bodies file into the suite, maybe three or four. The handmaid's pull in the elven dress and a light breakfast. You can still smell the salt water on your forearm as you swing your hand over your eyes. You were not a morning person. Koska walks up to your bed before sitting on the edge of it, placing her tan hand on your shoulder. “We’ve let you sleep in long enough, we have to get you dressed and ready for tea with the Queens.”

“Queens?” You mumble, slurring the ‘s’ out.

“Yup, both Bo-Katan and your mother as well as the Queen of Naboo and Duchess of the Felucian mountain Kingdom are all eager to spend brunch with you in the Garden.” More guests arrived this morning while you were still sleeping, but it wasn’t until Koska explained to you about the women waiting for you that you remembered what day it was. You opened your eyes wide, flopping your arm onto the mattress beside you and looking up at her drowsily.

“The masquerade is today.” You say out of realization. She smirks and slowly nods her head. Soniee budges into your conversation, sitting on the opposite side of the bed.

“We have two dresses for you to wear today! This one,” She pulls forward a gown that isn’t quite as full and round as the dress for the ball, but is still a lovely dress with a pretty skirt and pearls embroidered into the bodice. “And of course the elf dress.” She nods to the pink and gold gown that sat on a sewing-bust, shimmering in the light. “We won’t get you into the ball gown until later tonight.” She hums.

“Now, we have to get you cleaned up, your hair is a mess.” Koska stands up and pulls the heavy down comforter from off of you. The loss of warmth elicits another sleepy groan from your lips and you stare up at the ladies in waiting frustratedly. “Up!” Koska’s serious voice commands and you’re scared enough of her that you jump up out of bed, pulling the nightgown sleeve up that has been slowly slipping down your shoulder and showing more and more skin. “That’s better.” Koska hums, “Let’s get you a bath, yeah?” She walks towards the bath room, opening the golden gilded doors and into the naturally-light room. You will always admire the beauty and effort put into the Mandalorian palace despite the internal battle with living here. You follow her into the room, still sleepy and walking slowly but eventually making it to the tub in the center of the room. The bath has already been drawn, which they must have done in your sleep (they’ve never done that before). You strip out of the cream-colored nightie and dip into the warm water. It smelled of lavender and honey and you allowed your muscles to relax into the bubbles. It was perfect, exactly what you needed to clear your racing and stressful mind. Your muscles were sore from yesterday and the warm water and flowery oils soaked them blissfully. You sigh at the sensation but before you can enjoy it anymore, Koska is dumping the warm water over your head, wetting it completely. It’s unexpected and you gasp from shock, your eyes glued shut to keep the water out of them. Damp hands come up from out of the water to wipe your eyes but then another dump of water is pouring over your head and you’re back at square one. Koska was a much harsher bather than Sonnie was.

All is forgiven however when she starts massaging your scalp, cleaning your hair. You relax back into the tub and enjoy the seawater and wind getting rinsed out. The other ladies come in, one on either side of the tub who files your nails, and Sonnie brings in a towel and silk robe. The other handmaiden works at your calloused feet with a pumice stone and you try not to let it tickle too much. It was true pampering and you loved every second of it. Usually there’s only one maiden to bathe you but five was divine. You assumed this was the treatment the Queen always received.

After you are properly cleaned, your Corellian tea is brought in and you’re left alone for as long as you like. You slowly sip on the purple shaded drink, waking up from it’s comforting properties. You sigh deeply, allowing the fragrant air to fill your lungs while you look out of the tall, narrow window in the center of the outside wall. You could not see the ocean from here, but instead the distant roofs of Keldabe. It was a beautiful summer day, there wasn’t a cloud in the sky and you could hear the birds who have nested in the nooks and crannies of the towers chirping. You knew you had a long day ahead of you, and you wanted to try and enjoy it as much as you could. You never really enjoyed the social aspect of royalty, and that’s all today will be, but you’re ready to brave it head on.

An hour passes before you are finally dressed in the first gown of the day. Your hair is braided back so that it will have a desirable wave for the ball tonight. You are snuggly tied into the pearled bodice of the dress, and you run your hands up and down the beading, allowing it to tickle your soft palms.

Koska pulls open the door, and you’re expecting to see the Knight standing there stoically as always, but he isn’t. The hallway is completely empty, in fact, and you can’t ignore the dreadful feeling that overcomes your body. Where was he?

You clear your throat, and look back at Koska, who was adjusting the skirt of your gown as you walked.

“Where is he?” You ask, your voice hushed almost to a whisper but not quite. There were a million possibilities behind his absence and not a single one of them was ideal. Koska lifts up from her crouched position, smoothing the front pleats of her dress.

“What?” She asks and you sigh out of frustration, there was absolutely no way she didn’t know what you were talking about but you had to be vague because of all the ladies in waiting listening in.

“Who will be accompanying me to the garden?” You say with a forceful tone, trying to prod at a deeper meaning to the question.

Luckily, Lady Reeves picks up on it, and she looks behind you. You felt like she was avoiding eye-contact and it only made you more stressed and confused. “I’ll be escorting you, Highness.” She nodded, moving a step forward and then taking the lead down the corridor. You follow hesitantly, and wait until you are far enough down the hall from the other ladies back in your suite to speak again.

“Don’t horseshit me.” You mutter behind her. She keeps her chin up high as usual. “He’s in trouble, isn’t he.”

Koska doesn’t answer.

“Koska, you promised me he would be okay.” You try not to let the emotion show through your tone but that was a challenge. You felt guilty for some reason. If he was in trouble, it would be entirely your fault. The words shake in your throat and maybe it’s the tight corset and the fact that you are descending the stairs but you’re out of breath and it’s hot, so hot.

“He’s fine, I swear to the stars.” She whispers, saying it straight forward instead of turning back at you in an attempt to stay calm and unsuspecting to watchful eyes.

“Well then why didn’t you tell me that?” You ask, twiddling your thumbs.

“I couldn’t… there’s more to it but-“

“But what? What could be so secretive that you have to keep it from your future queen?” You say through gritted teeth and immediately after, Koska is spinning around on the staircase and looking up at you with a furrowed brow. You felt like you were being scolded by an impatient tutor despite the fact that you out-ranked her.

“You don’t even want to be the Queen.” She says in a whisper-shout, starting to sound as angry and emotional as you were just moments before.

“You’re right, I don’t-“ You bite back.

“So why are you here, then?”

You aren’t sure how to answer, the obvious answer is for Corellia. You were promised something in return for your ability to produce an heir and look like a porcelain figurine on a high shelf. But you also knew it would make your family happy, and your Kingdom. You would be making them proud by marrying so rich. You made a promise.

But now you think you’re starting to stay for an entirely different and unethical reason. Something that is inherently a trap and you know it, and yet here you are, fussing over it at every change you have.

Koska rolls her eyes and scoffs before continuing down the stairs.

“Who spit in your porridge this morning?” You reply.

“You did.” She groans in response.

“I’m sorry, but what did I ever do to you?” You ask when you complete the steps down and start down another corridor, one section of the massive palace closer to your destination.

Koska is the one not to answer this time.

It infuriates you that everyone is keeping secrets from you, your entire experience in Mandalore feels built on deception and being left-out. And now, the two people who finally seemed to be on your side aren’t with you in one way or another on such a big day. Koska is angry with you for no reason and you have no idea where your knight is.

The rest of the walk to the Gardens is silent, and before you know it, you are plopped down on an uncomfortable wicker chair in the hot sun, sipping on lukewarm lemon tea and wondering how much longer you have to suffer. Your mother and Bo were giggling about something, the rest of the court buzzing with conversation and ignoring you as always. Was it possible that you were the problem? You ask yourself this after another sip of the tea, a lemon slice bumping up against your upper lip a few times. As you think, you hold the dainty cup against your mouth, losing yourself in thought without realization. Your pretty eyes stare down at the green grass of the Garden. The grass never gets green back home.

You start subconsciously bouncing your leg as you thought to yourself. Everyone seemed to ignore expect for Korkie and your Knight— who both want to fuck you. Maybe that was the only desirable thing about you. This wasn’t the first time you felt insecure about the relationship you have developed with the Knight. He’s so quiet, so different from you. Were you falling for a trick?

Was he?

Tea must have gone by fast because just before the pearls of your dress start to burn against your arms from the heat exposure, you’re excusing yourself and wandering back inside.

“Strange girl.” One of the noble ladies says to Bo when you walk away. You don’t hear it, you can’t hear anything except for your deafening thoughts.

“Are you sure she’s the one for your nephew?” Another asks. If you had known your mother was silent for all of this in fear of losing her reputation or even the deal between Corellia and Mandalore, you would have been furious.

“Well his father was an outcast, too.” One chuckles. “I guess you Kyrze’s attract the wallflowers.” A few hummed in amused response.

“Well his father wasn’t just an outcast, he was a downright scandal-“

“My sister loved him, and that is all that matters.” Bo interrupts. The laughter quickly dies out.

“Don’t tell me you believe in love, too.” One laughs.

“You aren’t married, what could you know of love?” The same one bo interrupted says.

“I do believe in love, which is why I am not married.” The Queen reiterates. “And I don’t think she’s the right fit for my Nephew, she’s too… outspoken. He needs someone who won’t outshine him.” They chuckle again, all do but your mother, who is still meekly silent.

“Well with the engagement Ball tonight, it is far too late to back out now.” One teases, and the laughter only grows.

Bo-Katan stares in the direction you left.

You huff down the hall, your arms folded and neck sweaty from the heat. You are looking back and forth, studying the layout of the hall in search of something. You’re looking for the smallest idea of where the knight could be but you aren’t very successful.

While all the fully armored guards of the Mandalorian palace are dressed identically, you are almost certain you would be able to spot your boy in a crowd of a thousand of them. You aren’t sure why, but there is something different about him, something that sticks out from the rest. Somehow you two were connected, and it made it so he was always plaguing your mind, even when you are with your literal fiance. Even when you are far away from him and have no clue where he is for the first time in two weeks.

Separation Anxiety.

You aren’t watching where you’re going, which makes you run into a tall, lanky boy. You yelp out in apologetic surprise, looking up at the person blocking your stressed search. A blonde boy flips around to look at you and you’re half expecting to see Korkie but it isn’t.

His Cousin, Hugo, looks down at you with his same charming smirk as always.

“Princess!” He bows.

“My apologies, Hugo!” You exclaim.

“Oh please, you are perfectly fine. You looked distressed? I hope It was not something I did?”

“Of course not!” You reassure, awkwardly smiling. “Uh- may i ask what you were doing in the center of the corridor?”

He chuckles, “Admiring this art.” He nods to an expansive, framed oil painting on the wall. It was of a tall man with a long face and alarming smirk. What stuck out to you, however, was that he held in both hands the same black sword from the royal portraits upstairs by the war room.

“The art is beautiful here.” You smile.

“Yes, my Aunt Satine worked hard to make it culturally rich.”

“Did you know her?”

“Yes, I am a bit older than Korkie, and I knew her for several years before she passed.”

“Are you… second in line?”

“I am.” He says with a classic amused smirk.

“So maybe you can answer a question for me, then.” You ask as you look up at the art. “What in the world is that?” You ask in reference to the blade.

“That, my foreign Princess, is the Dark Sword of Mandalore.”

“The what?” You cluelessly ask.

“A sacred weapon that the rightful ruler possesses, it’s rather powerful.”

“I’ve never seen anything like it before.” You look up at it in awe.

“Hah, yes. It is made of pure obsidian. The white is enchanted quartz veins. It is practically invincible, an elven Mand’alor forged it when he was just a boy.”

“What? There were Mandalorians who were part elf?” You ask, your eyes peeling off of the art and onto your companion.

He looks at you almost confused, “There is much you do not know about my Kingdom?”

“No… I’m afraid not.” You shamefully admit.

“Most don’t,” He shrugs and returns to the conversation unbothered, “It’s history is rather complicated.”

The two of you were quiet for a long time. Your eyes were glued to the stern face of the man in the portrait. You wondered who he was. Hugo is the first to speak up.

“You played beautifully last night.” You doubted he didn’t notice the incorrect notes and mistakes you made several times, maybe he was just being polite by ignoring them. You turn to look at him and smile kindly.

“As did you.” You return the compliment. He looks at you, and you must have been distracted by something other than him because you weren’t aware that his eyes were darting between your eyes and your lips.

Hugo forces a kiss on you.

Just like how Korkie did a few weeks ago in the library. It’s fast because you angrily pull away just as fast as he placed it on you.

“What?” You say like an idiot, looking up at him in shock.

“Oh come on, don’t tell me you don’t feel it?” He gets defensive immediately. The worst part is that it wasn’t even that bad of a kiss, much softer than Korkies, but nowhere as tender as the kisses the Knight would lay on you in the water or behind a closed door. Your entire body seemed to seize up, and you couldn’t get any words out. Not any words that you wanted to say. You just looked up at him, vulnerable and confused. He leans down to do it again but you’re able to turn your head to the side, keeping his lips off of you.

“I am… in love with another man.” You say, clearing your throat.

“You and I both know that isn’t my cousin.”

No use denying it at this point, “yes, but I am still engaged to him. I cannot just be disloyal to the future Mand’alor.” You mutter, embarrassed but trying to keep your cool. You knew you were lying, because you weren’t staying loyal to Korkie. No, you were outright cheating on him and you were falling in love with the boy you were cheating with. You were falling in love. You were very exposed, after all. Anyone could turn the corner or look through the windows and see you. It was different this time, however. Usually hiding your kisses are exciting, but that was only with the Knight. “Please,” You voice betrays you, and the emotional shake is heard through your clenched jaw, “Excuse me.” You push passed him frustratedly, making sure to shove him over a little with your shoulder. You angrily walk back to your room, finally getting there without help for the first time.

When you turned down the Corridor to your suite, you were hoping to see the beskar-clad boy who held you last night, but he still wasn’t there. You hold back emotional tears, but not seeing the one who brings the most comfort to you makes you break. Two crystal tears roll down your cheeks.

You have been taken advantage of too many times in this forsaken castle.

You pull open the door, the golden afternoon light reflecting warmly off of the gold-leafed furniture and decorations is a stark contrast from the bleak hallway. Your bed has been made, and things have been tidied up since you were in here last. You flop onto the mattress, your arms stretched out from your sides, looking up at the sheer canopy above where you lay.

Two hours pass. You think you fell asleep but you cannot remember. If you did, no dreams were had.

Soniee opens your door with trepidation after two soft knocks, “Princess, It is time to prepare for the ball.” Her voice is so timid. You twist your head to look at her, the other ladies from this morning were behind her. Koska was not with them.

You sit up from the bed, rubbing a crook in your neck from how you were laying...

—

authors note (again): i know this isn’t the best chapter ending but ya know... IT WASNT SUPPOSED TO BE

Anyways..... see you tomorrow? i guess? haha

Taglist: @remmysbounty @snow30285 @what-iwish-you-knew @softly-sad @carbonated-beverage @frogllady @baileys-corner @song-of-sea-and-sky @leaiorganas @weirdowithnobeardo @ginger-swag-rapunzel @bewitchedbodyandsol l @mograh @justavolcano @theokatz @lowkeytesss @hallway5 @dat-girl-in-corner @news4bees @istealyof00d @songofcosplay @waffles4lif3 @mcueveryday @310ra @thatonedindjarinfan @songofseraphine @callmekane @theelilbritt @bbwithaknife @firstofficerwiggles @jedi-jesi @ironbabey @minttchipp @bel-ppa @honey-hi @cp11 @venomous-ko @bbwithaknife @lunatic-sunsets @1800-fight-me @foundtheavacados @elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey @florenceivy @theanothersherlockian @spideysimpossiblegirl @mandomistress @floraandfrost @paradoxpictures @stinky-child

“if you are included in the taglist, you are expected to interact with the post you are tagged in (ex. reblogs, comments and notes), if I notice that you are not interacting with the applicable post, you will be removed from the taglist”

—

part twelve

#more to love #din djarin #din djarin x you #pedro pascal #the mandalorian #fan fiction #reader insert #star wars #din djarin fluff #din djarin smut #princess x bodyguard #pedro pascal fic #princess reader #no y/n #dark academia #princesscore #mando x you #mando fluff #mando x reader #mando smut #rough day fic #star wars smut

[musclesandhammering]

I'm not fond of the pairing but from what I've seen General public actually loves Sylki very much. Even the trade reviews called the relationship "genius" which,,,ok. Someone did a poll on various platforms, yt, reddit, fb, twitter etc comparing which ship is better (Lokius or Sylki) and it was Sylki who won by large margin in the end. I suppose mostly they just don't care because it's sci fi and a pairing in a totally unrealistic show, and after Wandavision I guess weird ships are 'in' but yeah it makes you think. But the writers already said they won't give in to the fan pressure bc they have their own story to tell (which ok, valid, you do you) but idk. I guess we will get even more Sylki in second season. Tom already said Loki won't stop searching for her

Sometimes I think casual fans are the most irritating thing about being in a fandom :/

Just as a disclaimer (bc I don’t want people coming for me): I think lokius is really cute, and I love fics/art/headcanons about them, but I never thought they were canonically romantically interested in each other. I never thought lokius was gonna be canon, and I never wanted it to (because I didn’t want ANY romance in the series), so I don’t even include it in my argument against s*lki.

Ok so….. listen. This is gonna be a long ass post, so I’m putting it under a cut. Sorry, anon, but you’re the one that opened the Worm Can.

The viewing public, in general, tends to heavily skew towards heterosexual-presenting ships. Partially because a portion of the general audiences are homophobic, and partially because a lot of non-tumblr fans are so sick of hearing tumblr stans go on and on and on about how they were queerbaited by certain gay ships not becoming canon, when in reality, said ships are trash.

Listen. I sympathise with that. I get that. I know I’m beating a hornet’s nest with this, but…. D*stiel? J*hnlock? St*cky? None of those were written in any way to invoke queer undertones, they were always supposed to be platonic, and tbfh even as platonic relationships the first two are literally toxic and abusive as hell, anyway.

So I definitely understand how a casual straight fan on Twitter or Instagram would see some of those same crazy “we were queerbaited” tumblr stans ranting about lokius not becoming canon and how much s*lki sucks and……. it makes sense that they’d be like “These people are just pissed that their gay ship isn’t canon, that’s why they hate s*lki.”

But here’s the thing. I don’t think those people realise how callous it is to say something like that when the only reason queer kids are so quick to ship any two male characters who express a modicum of affection for one another, is that they’re so fucking starved for representation in the first place, they’re willing to see queer romance in any same-sex interaction. They’re just that desperate. That’s where the whole crazy gay stan thing comes from. And yeah, it’s annoying that these people put their whole chest into defending gay ships that are total trash, but you have to realise why they do it.

So, what I’m saying is, for s*lki shippers- who are already winning, because their straight ship had the privilege of easily becoming canon despite all its flaws- to look at queer people who are frustrated to the point of tears that they were once again conned out of any form of queer rep (for the mcu’s first canon queer character, for gods sake) after actually genuinely being queerbaited this time (with his bisexuality/genderfluidity)….. and to essentially gloat that their straight ship became canon and taunt queer people by saying “oh you’re just desperate for two men to kiss”………… idk, man. It just seems real cold to me. Reeks of straight privilege and heteronormativity.

Ok, so with that being said.. let me respond to your actual ask lol.

I’m not surprised at all that s*lki won the popularity polls. I think a large reason for that is the fact that it was pitted against lokius, which sorta rubs a lot of casual viewers the wrong way for reasons listed above. I’m also not surprised that casual viewers liked it outside of its opposition to lokius- because, um, casual viewers aren’t very smart.

They tend to analyse exactly nothing, they don’t look any deeper than the surface, and if the writers of a show stick a hot man and woman together under a blanket, they eat it up. Because the narrative tells them it’s sweet. Just like the narrative tells them Loki is a greasy asshole who had no character development up until this point, and they eat that up too. Just like the narrative tells them that sylvie’s the best thing since sliced bread, and they eat that up too. Just like the narrative tells them it’s completely in character for Loki to try to subjugate a group of 3 random Mongolians in the middle of the dessert for absolutely no reason other than his “narcissism”, and they eat that up too. Just like the narrative tells them that one throwaway line about liking “a bit of both” is somehow this groundbreaking example of lgbt representation, and they eat that up too……… See the pattern here?

And as far as being concerned about the pseudo-incest angle, I don’t even think casual fans even dug that deep. They literally just saw two main characters- a pretty white woman and a hot white man- doing cool fight scenes together and giving each other goo goo eyes, and they were automatically sold.

And the writers saying “we won’t give in to fan pressure, we have our own story to tell” is honestly complete bullshit. What the hell is the POINT of working for a corporate film company and telling a story on screen if not to please the fans??? They do what they do to get people to watch their shows to get lots of money. That’s literally what they’re there for. Mike Waldron must have a pretty damn inflated sense of self importance if he thinks his own “artistic vision” or what the hell ever is the priority here lmao.

And I wanna be mad about Season 2, I really do. But at this point Season 1 ruined the character so much for me that I legitimately don’t even care what direction they take him in.

#this is probably all over the place and semi-incomprehensible but oh well #sometimes ya just gotta rant #topic: queerbaiting in cinema #loki deserved better #antisylki #anti mike waldron #anti sylvie #@marvel I hate you #anti casual fans #frosty bby #queerbaiting #anti loki series #loki series critical #loki series negativity #ask #anon #language tw

[fandomobsessedwriter]

A sweet helper

(Not my gif but I do love it)

This is based on a conversation I had with a friend and I thought it was sweet andddd likee I thought it was so cure and I might he falling for him so yh. Also like Peter has social media in this. oh and I tried to make it gender neutral

————————

The other day you had replied to Peters story that he had put on about stark internship and for the past two days you had been texting non stop about anything and everything.

It was near to the end of your time in high school and the school was hosting a prom to say good bye, not that they'd miss you. Scrolling on the prom outfit websites you were trying to find the outfit you had fallen in love with when you had first seen it yesterday. Clicking on his notification which had just popped up you started a completely new conversation.

"So yh I was looking at prom dresses and found the prettiest one and now they do t have it 😭 it's only been one day" you texted slightly laughing at your exaggeration

"oh noooooooooooo

be fineee theres ages till prom" he replied almost instantly making you smile at his sweetness

"Ik but it was so prettyyyyy also coz u totally care about a outfit 😂" you send back with a photo of the outfit.

"yooo that is real pretty ngl" he says making you laugh aloud "man i’d wear that lmao, id feel so pretty" he continues

"Right? And it HAS POCKETS" you send back knowing how difficult it can be to find a good outfit with pockets in

"But nooo I can't have it its disappeared" you text smiling how hes replying with more than one word unlike some people.

"yoooooooooooooo, okay now thats sick, awhh is it coming back in stock?"

"Idk it doesn't even say out of stock its just not on the website anymore"

"awhhhhh that suckssss" ok this boy is gonna burst your heart if he keeps saying awh. Showing him another outfit you like but not as much, you message him,

"Coz u totally wanna know about prom outfits 😂😅"

"hey man i’m fine with it lol idm" you thank him hoping that this wasn't going to be the end of your conversation for the day.

"and i genuinely just opened the website to look too cause i’m so bored lmao also i found the one u liked on there so u might still be able to get it" smiling as if you'd just won the lottery you tried to contain yourself. Thanking him once again he sends you the link. "Your acc the best thank youuu," you took a deep breathe trying to calm down " I'm so happy now hahaha"

He laughs as if its the most normal thing he's done.

Okay ik it's shit but like I thought it was sweet. Also if my other friends sees this no u didn't. Xo

#spiderman x reader #spiderman imagine #peter parker imagines #peter parker x reader #avengers imagine #avengers x reader

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 8/10/21

got a bunch of followers (many of you are Cool Teens, so also a reminder im 26 and an adult and you’re responsible for curating your own internet experience) anyway there’s a bunch of new folks since the last time this was a regular series, so i am going to pre-answer some things that popped up in my inbox last week.

a quick reminder that this is empathetically NOT a recommendations or review blog series. this is a quick snapshot of what i’m thinking about with regards to mass media this week, and sometimes i’m funny about it and sometimes i also do interesting diy shit

a work can be culturally or historically relevant and important in the history of a genre AND be extremely difficult to recommend unless i know you very well due to. hm. let us say many pitfalls due to the inherent nature of the genre or the time it was made in it any number of other factors that make it unpalatable to modern audiences but still worth knowing about. doesthedogdie dot com will be your friend here for anything i talk about ever

being critical of a work doesn’t just mean pointing out its flaws- was it successful in telling the story it wanted to tell? were the techniques it used effective? were the emotions it elicited in me probably the ones the creators set out to elicit? these are key components of a good review and often help me break down what i want to say about a particular piece of media in any given week, but this isn’t a review series of blog posts either.

i am literally just some guy and you should question everything i say

listening i’m gonna wash that man right out of my hair (from the musical South Pacific) brought to you by a random mix of classic movie musicals bc apparently im that kinda gay this week.

like a lot of other fifties media that aged like milk, i have fond memories of watching this with my grandmother. this isn’t even my favorite song from the musical (that would be bali hai’i) but i think it is one of the more technically interesting non-solo ones. specifically, the faint siren-y dissonance on “ahoy, ahoy!” has really been stuck in my head. the melancholy “ah fuck we’ve broken our hearts again” vibe on “rub him out of the roll call/and drum him out of your dreams” with all the girls singing is probably a result of a soprano-heavy cast, but it’s almost chimey in a way? the rhyme scheme of those lines has an excellent mouthfeel. ms gaynor singing “cancel hiiiiiim” has a very different vibe in 2021

two (really three? maybe four? the world is large and mysterious) things can be true at the same time: i don’t think i could watch this musical again as an adult because i don’t think there’s a good way to salvage or update it. the very qualities of this musical that make me go “fuckin yikes” as adult were the very qualities that made my grandmother love it so much. i can hold a bittersweet memory of a rare late movie night with a complicated lady and at the same time wish she were a better person. the dead never leave you with answers.

reading yet another fallow week. this field is turning back into forest

watching i often say “AAA video game (derogatory)” when talking offline about the bad batc/h, but this was a real bioshock ass lookin episode. i don’t think this show is succesful at making or having a point. mostly because it cannot contradict any existing lore in one of the most traversed time periods of this franchise, even with the expanded universe reboot. it falls into the uncomfortable realm of most starred wars media: this is a franchise for children but it also has to cater to legions of grownup fanatics with lots of money. but by god does it “feel” like starred wars. something not all the sequel trilogy movies or much of the clone wars series were successful at.

as a sidebar to that last sentence. the most memorable (imo) scene of the fucking sequel trilogy is the back-to-back battle couple thing in ep seven, which i have just rewatched, and it simply does not hold up. there are too many cuts to other sideplots, which kills any tension dead, and it’s mostly fighting on opposite sides of the room in frantic desperation instead of what i wanted, which was more than five seconds of synergy. it’s a bad rhyme of the final throne room fight in rotj and my memory of the thing is so much better, which is always disappointing.

back to the main point, i think a big part of something “feeling” like starred wars is big setpieces and fights that make you go “HAHA YES FUCKIN SICK WHY NOT!!!!” like, nobody ever Just gets shot in the head and temporarily incapacitated, they get half-vadered by the engines of a derelict ship trying to go to hyperspace while it’s grounded. this franchise has never met a location it couldn’t destroy in a beautiful and awful shower of light while the string sections of three combined orchestras play their hearts out.

this franchise is so fucking stupid and i am so invested in it

playing got my hands on the death trash early access, very hype to play it, have been too busy turning this apartment into a functional and comfortable space to live in for three separate people with their own separate toiletries and groceries and work from home/school schedules

making related to the above, the fucking kitchen table and chairs are done.

things wot i did friday night/saturday morning:

new rubber feeties on everybody

wrapped the legs that structurally couldn’t get new rubber feeties in jute to be kinder to my rental linoleum

bolted the legs back on the table and rebalanced it bc the jute wasn’t quite even

did a very halfassed job of fixing the drawer rails on the table

bolted the chair tubing back together

took all the old decorative tacks out of the backs of the chairs

scrubbed the seats and backs and the pieces the tacks were holding down with mild detergent (partially effective, it still has some patina but is sanitized)

re-covered the bottoms of the chairs in remnant black polyester to replace mildewed black canvas

put in new decorative tacks on the seat backs

bolted the vinyl parts to the chrome tubing parts (a long and frustrating process since there were two sizes of decidedly non-standard nuts and bolts)

wiped everything down again for idk good luck

sitting at my kitchen table in the sun eating a breakfast sandwich and some terrible iced tea on sunday morning was very nice. i lived in the south just long enough to get Opinions on iced tea and how the north can’t get it right. shouldn’t be gritty. shouldn’t be bitter. how is this even happening

some very very halfassed “during” pics

#tuesday again #tuesday again no problem #Spotify

[garakcore]

I posted 4,048 times in 2021

239 posts created (6%)

3809 posts reblogged (94%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 15.9 posts.

I added 516 tags in 2021

#star trek - 73 posts

#this is my tag for enterprise stuff - 70 posts

#ds9 - 58 posts

#star trek ds9 - 57 posts

#deep space nine - 52 posts

#deep space 9 - 50 posts

#elim garak - 45 posts

#garak - 44 posts

#garashir - 38 posts

#garashir musical - 29 posts

Longest Tag: 137 characters

#idk if that's a thing she does or i'm just making this up but i feel like she would be great at that and i would love to be taught by her

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

Someone: <gives kudos on one of my fics>

Me (to myself): This is great. I'm going to get a good grade in sexualizing a middle-aged man, something that is both normal to want and possible to achieve,

238 notes • Posted 2021-06-02 04:17:23 GMT

#4

Julian: How did Cardassians get spoons on their foreheads? Did they just, you know, stick it on their faces and forget about it? And then it fused to their face forever? That would be really funny, haha.

Garak: Bend me over the table.

246 notes • Posted 2021-02-08 05:20:34 GMT

#3

Anyway! I'm sick of people saying that Garashir is for straight women so I'd love to hear from any non-straight/non-women who like Garashir.

290 notes • Posted 2021-07-20 00:12:02 GMT

#2

My dear doctor, I don’t know how to say this without being crude, but I was exiled from Cardassia simply because I was drowning in dick. 

391 notes • Posted 2021-01-15 05:42:10 GMT

#1

Damar: *pats Weyoun on the shoulder*

Weyoun, his eyes enormous: You SLAP Weyoun? You slap his shoulder like piece of meat??? Oh! Oh! Jail for Legate Damar! Jail for Legate Damar for One Thousand Years!!!!

651 notes • Posted 2021-01-17 05:15:03 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

#my 2021 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #three of these are garashir sex jokes. what is my life #but i am really proud of weyoun being miette >:} #also uh. i really do use tumblr as a coping skill don't i. 4048 posts. and this is just one of my dozen sideblogs.

[borinlauryn]

This is gonna be really long, but it's My Story, and you're gonna love it! ( Pt. 1 )

Hi, my name is Lauryn, I'm 22, and mixed with Nigerian, and Scottish. mainly. I have 1 daughter, 1 Sister, 1 brother, 1 grandma, and 1 mom. Oh, and 1 cat! I am a Pisces, and I was BOI so, kinda makes sense right? I'm the youngest of 3 children. All with different dads, and the same last name, from my mothers side. None of us know our dads, kinda crazy story behind that. We all grew up together, mainly in Houston, Texas. For most of the time. My family is from Chex Republic/ Slovakia, a few generations back. Well, since I don't know my father, when I am talking about my family I mean, on my mother's side.

I have not done this blogging sort of thing yet, but I have a very diverse background, and a very profound story. Since, I don't really care much for sharing it in person, I meant to share it with the world somehow, and so I started having ideas. You know, all these ridiculous ideas, about how sharing my story would change the world, and how sharing it would make things different for me. I guess, like more acceptable, but as I'm writing it right now, it doesn't really feel like it's a life changing, profound, and ground-breaking story. It just feels like I'm being, well, honest, to be completely honest. BUT, let's get into it anyways, since I'm sick* of keeping it inside.

Well, to tell you a little bit about me personally, I am a very honest, kind-hearted person. I am very funny so, people tell me, and I'm smart, you know, like the intelligent kind. Apart, from funny, I'm sarcastic so, my humor tends to be kind of dark sometimes. I'm very corky, I guess. I kind of have a weird way of doing things. Well, I'll tell you why in a second, we'll get into that. First, let's make place with the things that I am into. ALL THINGS, nah I'm just kidding, but almost! I am into singing very much so, I'm a singer, not famous or anything, but I should be, I am very good at it. I busted my ass to get to where I'm getting, so I can say that with quite some confidence. I think it was the first thing that I was every really into. I also, like crafting, I like making things, well just about anything. I like jewelry making, macrame, crochet, painting, volleyball, cheerleading, drawing, sketching, sculpting, wood-working, wood-burning, building, construction, and remodeling, furniture-refurbishing, fashion, dance, anything music, make-up, i love people, and animals, grew up with horses, in the city, and outside, i have lived on a farm, my mom was raised on a farm so she passed that down, her and i both are quite a history geek(s), i love math, and architecture, literature, and writing, reading, hiking, jogging, culture, social sciences, and regular science, psychology, and psychiatry, religion, spirituality, interior design, biology, ancient geometry, mythology, and literature, and artwork as well, oh and i love antiques, i love being innovative, i love helping people, so therapy, charity, and volunteering are on my list of things up my sleeve, i also, love plants and nature, photography, social events, outside, and walking-with-friends lol, of course sex... who doesn't, obviously i'm a lil hippie, so clearly aside from peace, meditation, and connection, i used to love smoking weed, but with a daughter, I gotta be responsible, so getting up outta the couch kinda became a thing. Also, I still love cannabis, it's quite some beauty, and a very just IDK, that plant gets me man, it turns me on lol, I used to say if it was a perfume, I'd wear it. Some could agree-disagree, either way I don't really care, I'm a non-judgemental person, so if you judge me, then there will be one thing you don't get about me, and one thing I don't get about you, so we're even is the way I see it. AND, there's probably a few more things I could add to my list, but we'll leave it there as it probably seems I am rambling endlessly, but let's be honest here, I am being honest, 100%, and those are the things I could just bring off the top of my head. Did not have to write them down or anything. LMAO. How long is your list? How well, do people really know you? mhmm those are some things to think about, but let's get back to me.

(On my next post, stay tuned!)

#borinlauryn #music #writers #c-ptsd #c ptsd #complex ptsd #trauma #personal #ptsd #childhood trauma #science #painting