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yanderestarangel · 7 months

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HEADKANONS BI HAN | SUB ZERO MK1 WITH S/O

A/N: I'm going to write headcanons about all the men in MK, I'm going to write one shots, fanfic, I'm going crazy and more horny for each one of them... I'm gay as f*ck. Do you want to make a request? Read my blog rules in the pinned post.

TW: sfw, headcanons in general, afab reader, smut.

He is an aggressive lover. I mean, he's not going to hit you or anything, but he's extremely cold (I laughed after remembering that he's fucking sub zero lol), he's the type to talk the basics, even to you, so don't do it "silly" questions for him, if he's okay or if he ate, he'll answer: "-I'm here in front of you so obviously I'm fine." "-Don't worry, I know how to take care of myself, I'm not a child."

He likes to show his love for you through actions, like buying you something you've been wanting for a while, like giving you a bouquet of flowers, small but meaningful, Bi-Han doesn't know how to express love for anyone, I'm sorry, But it's the truth, but he tries for you, even if it's not the best.

Bi-Han cares about you even if he doesn't express it, he knows that he is a frustrated and wrong man in several actions, even if he wants to lie to himself that he doesn't, you both know that, but if you haven't given up on him, and You're still on his side, it means you love him, and he values that.

Bi Han won't let you work outside of his sight, that is, he will want you at home, you can beg or try to argue, he will say: "-Your job is to be my husband/wife, take care of our house, me and yourself, I can't allow you to go around." -He spoke calmly, but seriously, and that was really his thought, he just wants you to be close to him, he is afraid, terrified, of losing you one day. -

Bi Han is insecure, even if he never admits it, he gets jealous very quickly, he knows that you are a beautiful person, so he knows that many ninjas lust after you, even though you are married to him, so please don't flirt with other men or women, this man is capable of crazy things and the silent treatment he will give you after that will be for an indefinite period of time.

You are always on his mind in every mission, Kuai Liang and Tomas sometimes notice their grandmaster looking into space and perhaps, a transparent smile appears quickly, while Bi-Han looks at the landscape on the horizon, thinking about you. "-I hope (Y/N) is okay" -He said to himself, shaking his head soon after and returning to the mission.

When he notices that you are sad he becomes worried, but he just crosses his arms under his chest, and looks at you waiting for an explanation for such behavior, if you are upset about something that someone from the Lin Kuei clan did to you, consider that person dead, your grand master husband will immediately leave the house forming a deadly ice dagger in his hand, returning some time later, with a determined and blood-stained look. "-Okay, wipe your tears, the problem has already been solved, let's have dinner." -He spoke seriously and calmly, as he wiped the blood from his hands on a cloth, heading to the kitchen with heavy steps and giving you a look, so you could follow him.

Bi-Han lies down on the bed next to you, but he can't sleep for several nights, he finds himself watching you, your face so peaceful next to him, the ninja monster of the lin kuei, you look so good and comfortable next to him, he really wonders why you married him, you deserve someone better.

He covers you more with the sheet, caressing your cheek lightly with his thumb, while whispering on rare occasions, that he loved you.

"-I really love you, you know that? I'm sorry I'm not the best man for you (Y/N), I really want you forever by my side, and I'll protect you from this world, whatever the cost, what do I do and for me and for you." -Bi Han told you while you slept, he placed a chaste kiss on your forehead, while looking at the moon soon after, it would be another night that he would be haunted by his own demons.

Bi-Han's favorite couple's activity with you is strolling to a lake on the Lin Kuei clan's estate, sitting with you on the cool grass as the two of you watch nature, the swans on the lake, the cloudy sky announcing an upcoming rain. would soon come, the trees swaying to the rhythm of the wind, as Bi Han talked about his mother, he really loved her, and he is happy to see that you were really interested in listening, as he talked about childhood memories, making little sculptures of ice with his fingertips to represent the story he told, it's these moments with you that make everything he did, even the cruelest things, worth it.

He may not be loyal to the clan, but he is to you. He's the type that if someone comes at him, he has to be held back so he doesn't punch them for such audacity. Ex:

"-Bi Han, are you going to come with us-"

"-I'm a married man"

"-Bi Han, we just asked-"

"-I'm a married man, I told you." -He says pointing to the wedding ring and leaving. They were just going to ask him to drink a little, but as Bi Han said, he is a married man to you.

He doesn't like nicknames, only during sex, other than that he will call you by your name, or "my husband/my wife", he likes the idea of being called "husband" by you too, so if you If you refer to him like that, in public, he will melt inside, and smile slightly sideways behind the mask.

He is a wild man in bed, taking out his frustrations and anger on your beautiful pussy, mouth and body in general.

Bi Han loves blowjobs, if he could, you would be kneeling between his legs 24 hours a day, with your pretty face taking his entire cock in your mouth - I feel sorry for you dear, this man's cock is big and thick, he's literally going to hit it down your throat easily, leaving you breathless while your husband enjoys watching you choke on his dick like that -

He likes to degrade you in sex, it's a way for him to mark you as his and release his frustrations too, he will fuck you roughly, especially fucking you with his dick stuck in your pussy, with him lifting you easily while his hips they aggressively pound against your tight hole.

"-You're a great slut, you know? Taking my cock like a desperate bitch."

"-Oh fuck, you feel so good, don't you? Your pussy was made for me, the grand master lin kuei, and only mine, only I deserve you, do you hear? I'm just going to fuck that beautiful pussy until you can only think about how You want my dick inside you."

"-Do I really have a little whore as my husband/wife? How lucky for me then."

"-I'm going to fill you up... I'm going to fill that tight pussy of yours, and you want that, don't you? You want every drop of my cum, you're a hungry slut."

He loves to call you: "slut", "dirty bitch", "private whore", "nymph", "good boy/girl with a tight pussy". Most of the sex sessions you have with Bi Han end with him cumming on your face, pussy or belly, painting everything with his cum and leaving you panting with your legs shaking - for him, sex really is only good when you are weak from cumming on his dick, and overstimulated, with a swollen clitoris - He loves many sexual positions, but he prefers:

Cowgirl’s Helper: He likes to see you on top of him, your hands on his chest, while one of his hands squeezes your ass, and the other is behind his head. Bi Han watches you get impaled on his dick, stretching your pussy slowly, as your pussy drools on his pulsing dick, he looks at you, smiling smugly when he sees the rise of his dick in your womb. He would just groan in response to your desperate moans, watching your body move as you whimpered to cum - he wasn't going to let you cum yet, and if you did, he was going to punish the hell out of you, giving you at least five painful orgasms and pleasant that night -

Stand and Deliver: He loves seeing you bent over, your waist is sore from being bent over for him, but he loves seeing your ass and waist on top, thrusting into your pussy while pulling your hands behind your back, he would go so hard on your hole that your feet would leave the ground, you could feel the burn of the speed of Bi Han's dick in your pussy, but he wouldn't stop, he wouldn't stop until he left you a trembling mess full of cum - while calling you a desperate slut his cock -

©YANDERESTARANGEL 2023

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 19 days

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😴😴😴 (to find later) AITA for putting sleeping pills in my boyfriend's drinks without him knowing?

I know this sounds absolutely awful, but please bear with me.

Basically, me (27 m) and my boyfriend (26 m) have been living together for around five years, meaning we usually also sleep together. Or at least we try, since my BF suffers from terrible insomnia and reoccurring nightmares so bad sometimes he wakes up into a full on anxiety attack. He does go to therapy and has prescribed sleeping pills, but he hates taking them because he's always afraid that when he does fall asleep he's just going to have nightmares, (which also just makes him avoid sleeping in general even not including his insomnia).

Usually I try to help him by staying up with him, watching his favorite show while cozied up on the couch under a bunch of blankets and with a hot coco, or we do something else that he likes and helps him relax. I really don't mind, I love him and I love spending time with him. However, it used to be that he would fall asleep at around 3-4 AM, but as time went on he started staying up longer and longer, until at a certain point I literally had to start leaving for work in the morning while he still hadn't gotten any sleep.

This was an issue for two reasons: 1. Obviously, without me there he felt even less comfortable and had an even harder time falling asleep, sometimes staying up for even 48 hours (or maybe more, I'm not sure) just to wait for me to come back home so I could help him unwind again. 2. He actually started lying to me about sleeping while I wasn't home, so that I would go to sleep normally and let him stay awake because "he wasn't tired" even though I could clearly tell he was.

That's when I started getting seriously concerned and questioning him about how much he actually sleeps, especially since I could see it was affecting him more and more both mentally and physically. He was avoidant about the topic but I pleaded with him to talk to his therapist about it, to try and find anything else to help him. Apparently his therapist just told him to keep using his sleeping pills to help with the insomnia, and if they're not working she'll look into prescribing him stronger ones. Yet despite that he still insists on not taking them and just going to bed normally even though it's clearly not working.

To clarify: as far as I'm aware, he has no negative side-effects from these sleeping pills, he's never complained about feeling any pain or feeling worse after taking them or anything like that. Literally he only doesn't want to take them because he's just that afraid of going to sleep.

That's why whenever we stay up nowadays, I always add a small dose to his cup of coco, which thankfully has a strong enough taste to cover the pills (I've tried a small bit myself and couldn't tell a difference). Since I started doing that, he's been regularly falling asleep before 2AM and even though the nightmares still sometimes wake him up or make him feel a bit tired in the morning, overall he's been doing much better.

Still, I do feel bad about putting stuff in his drinks without his knowledge even if it's for his own good. I really wonder if I should stop, but I'm really scared that if I do, he'll start spiralling again. I want to help him and be there for him but I've already tried talking about it and it never worked. So, AITA?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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mysacredmuse · 2 months

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reader: female anatomy, feminine descriptors (lady) + she/her pronouns

cw/tw: nsfw - mdni!, playing poker in stripping and one sexual exchange (he wants to creampie you, but bets in a kiss LOL), a bit of cocky! aventurine, aventurine and reader are "friends", reader is a loser 💔, dirty talk, table sex, rough sex, aventurine edges both of you, creampie

there is lots of dialogue, it's a mixture of bickering/playfulness & flirtiness I suppose

word count: 4.6k

dividers by @/enchanthings :)

note: tbh, in the part where the reader asks is that the only way he gets ladies naked, I had to hold myself back so hard not to write "not only ladies" LOL, but either way, I hope you enjoy it! :)

• Aventurine • Poker play •

Aventurine proposed a game of poker to you. At first, you were denying, aware that gambling with him would not be beneficial for you.

"Come on, I won't go rough on you." he states in a playful tone, taking the cards out of the box. You scoff as you sit down, deciding to humor him for a round or two since there wasn't really anything better to do at an empty casino.

"Easily persuaded..that's what I like to see." he gives you a sly smile as he shuffles the cards.

"Simply bored, so I will amuse you for a round." you say with a slight boredom in your tone, leaning back into your chair as you wait for him to deal.

"My friend, no one ever stops at one round." he states in a serious tone as he deals both of you a hand of five cards. You check yours, evidently dissatisfied as you didn't even get a pair. He chuckles but remains silent for a few moments.

"How many do you wish to change?" he finally asks, slightly tilting his head.

"All five." you say seriously, earning another chuckle of his.

"I'm afraid that's not possible, so I will give you four." he says in a playful tone as you choose which cards to exchange. Your situation doesn't get much better, but at least you got a pair of kings.

"You won't be changing any?" you ask curiously as you reposition the cards in your hand to satisfy your taste.

"I told you I won't be rough.." he pauses for a second before he lays out his hand.

"..but it's also quite unnecessary when you have a straight flush." he lets out a soft laugh as he sees your semi-annoyed expression.

"Good job cheater." you roll your eyes as you show your cards, two kings standing weakly against his hand.

"No need for such hostility, we can just try again." he says in a satisfied tone as he takes the cards back, quickly shuffling them in an oddly professional way.

"I said I will amuse you for one round only." you say in a firmer tone, crossing your arms as you watch him shuffle. Aventurine gives you a cat-like gaze as he puts the cards aside for a moment. He swiftly adds the chips, placing 20 thousand credits on the table afterwards. Your expression grows confused, even a bit shocked as he does it like it's nothing.

"Perhaps if we bet on this, your motivation will go up. What do you say?" he gives you a soft smile as he picks up and continues shuffling the cards.

"I say that you are insane. I don't have that kind of money to throw around!" you state in a louder tone, expression still quite puzzled. Aventurine just laughs at your reactions, clearly enjoying them.

"Ah, friend, let's not worry about such trivial matters here. All that actually matters is the game itself." he speaks calmly as he deals the cards again - five to both.

"It will matter tomorrow when I won't be able to get myself a bottle of water!" you express dramatically, but your words did make sense.

"Why are you immediately assuming that you will lose?" he tilts his head, semi-amusement adoring his features.

"You know why!" you state loudly, feeling borderline offended that he would even ask as he could probably buy you just by selling the watch on his wrist.

He laughs.

"I do know why, yes, but I told you already, didn't I? I won't go rough on you. Unless, of course, you want me to." he chuckles, sly gaze fixating on yours.

"We are still talking about poker, right?" you raise your eyebrow at him, slightly leaning forward as you check your cards.

"If that's what you want, then yes." he nods with a soft smile on his face before he checks his own cards.

"What else would I be talking about?" he continues after a moment of silence, making you slightly nervous. You ignore his question as the nervousness gets replaced by annoyance. Your cards suck. Again!

"Give me four cards again, please." you say in an almost defeated tone, sliding the four awful cards you had back to him. He wants to laugh, but he contains himself before he speaks up.

"You need to place a bet first."

You look at him with a shocked expression.

"Rules of the casino, friend! The dealer never loses." he chuckles, giving you a small wink as he taps the table, urging you to place your money.

"How fitting…" you squint your eyes at him as your lips turn downwards. You take out 5 thousand credits from your bag, placing the tiny stash next to his finger.

"Is this enough?"

"Sure is. For now, at least." he gives you a soft smile as he puts your money in the middle, the stake now being 25 thousand. He switches your four cards for new ones as he changes only one of his.

"Hey, hey! You said you need to put money first!" you point your finger at him and he gives you a puzzled expression in return for a moment.

"Does a dealer get no privileges?" he points out and you slightly shrink in your seat, but your face remains pouty.

"Fine, I did say I won't go rough on you after all. I see your five-" he can't help but chuckle which makes your face grow offended.

"-..and raise you fifteen." he adds, slowly pushing the money to the small chunk in the middle. You scoff as he keeps laughing at your reactions. Your hand isn't strong, but it isn't that weak either. Your first full house of the night!

Aventurine just watches you with amusement for a couple of moments.

"So, do you want to raise me as you seem confident or do you prefer to show your cards now?" he tilts his head as he repositions cards in his own hand.

"Uh...I can raise you five more!" you say proudly as you reach for your bag.

"You need to raise me twenty thousand." he states calmly.

"Twenty?!" your eyes widen as your voice grows panicked, quickly returning money back in the bag.

"Nevermind." you quickly follow, simply showing him your cards.

He watches you with an entertained expression as he lays out his, only to show you nothing. He has one strong card.

Your eyes glow with pride as you quickly scoop the money closer to you.

"You could've won much more only if you had more confidence." he clicks his tongue as he takes the cards, shuffling them again.

"How was I supposed to know that?" you question in a semi-disinterested tone, just happy that you won something.

"You couldn't know, but that's the thrill of the game my friend! Loosen up and learn to risk sometimes." he says with a tone that seemed to be almost hiding something as he deals both of you cards again. He casually places 100 thousand credits, in two stacks of 50 thousand. Your eyes widen in disbelief as you swallow nervously.

"Now, you need to place at least 20 thousand." he tells you in a calm manner and you do as told.

Next few rounds go surprisingly well for you and you find yourself more thrilled to play. Aventurine was right. You actually find this quite fun - even more so when you win. However, as if the devil felt your pride and confidence, you begin to lose very soon. Aventurine keeps getting the strongest suits, leaving your side of the table dry of any money. You wish to wipe the cocky smile off of his face every time he wins, growing more irritated. After a while, Aventurine proposes a new deal.

"How about we raise the stakes?" he asks with amusement on his face, slightly leaning back into his chair.

You raise an eyebrow at him, already aware where this is going.

"Is that your only way of getting ladies naked?" you chuckle as you think about his proposition.

"Not really. Being awfully good looking with an amazing taste in fashion often does the job." he states with a soft cockiness in his tone.

"Humbleness and humility as well, I am sure." you raise your eyebrows at him as your gaze falls on the empty spot where money used to be, right next to you.

"You would be correct, friend." he gives you a small nod, voice playful.

"But do not be so judgemental. After losing all of your money, is there really anything else you could offer me?"

You give him a hesitant gaze, remaining silent.

"Now of course, you could also back out, nothing is stopping you from doing so. Choice is yours." he says in a semi-sensual tone, sly gaze firmly fixated on yours.

"Isn't a bartender still here?" you ask as you play with your fingers a bit to calm down the nerves. It was a fun offer, but you also didn't celebrate the fact that you weren't alone.

"Mm, you really don't like risks, do you?" he asks without expecting you to answer him as he takes a look at his watch.

"He should be leaving fairly soon. I will play slowly, so you don't lose all your clothes before he leaves." he reassures you, oddly enough, so you just nod.

"Who says that I will be the one losing all the clothes?" you reply with a little smile, earning a chuckle from Aventurine.

"Oh? You feel more confident now, I like that." he says in a lower tone as he slowly shuffles the cards, just like he promised. You eagerly wait for him to deal, for unknown reason feeling excited about possibly getting it back to him.

"Although, before we start, may I ruin a little fun moment of mine I just had?"

"Go on."

"You are aware that it wasn't me who proposed this type of game...right?"

You blink a few times, recalling the conversation in your head.

"You were implying it. What else is there to play besides strip poker?" you tilt your head as you cross your arms over your chest.

"You do realize that I work for IPC? There are a lot of games to play and lots of debt to make, if one wishes to."

"Whatever! Don't flatter yourself thinking that I wanted to see you naked."

"Not what I was aiming at." he chuckles as he finally deals the cards, his presence becoming heavier.

"No switching cards anymore. We both get only one shot each time, so - lay them out whenever you are ready." he says in a cunning tone, eyelids lowering as he waits for you.

You gulp, laying out your trashy hand with only one ace.

"And here I thought we would take it slow. Or are you that eager to lose?" he asks in a low tone, laying out his card one by one, keeping you in suspense.

However, he also only has one strong card - ace of hearts.

"Now what..?" you ask a bit confused as your gaze jumps between your cards and his.

"Nothing. We play until one wins. Should I speed it up this time or do you still want me to go slow?" he tilts his head as he takes the cards, keeping them in his hand.

"Slow." you nod as you notice that the bartender still hasn't left.

Aventurine just smiles as he shuffles the cards slowly, silence filling up the room with a layer of intriguing heaviness between the two of you.

He finally deals the cards and you check yours, finally getting a better hand - three of a kind. Nothing to be secure in, but it's also not the worst scenario.

"Whenever you are ready." he states as he leans back comfortably in his chair.

Sudden interruption occurs, the bartender's raspy voice breaking the silence.

"I will be closing up soon, so-"

"Put it on my name. I will pay for renting the casino for the rest of the night. We are still playing." Aventurine speaks confidently, not batting an eye at him, gaze fixated on you.

"O-oh..okay. But it seems like you stripped her from everything already." the bartender replies in an empathetic tone as you give him a forced smile.

"Not quite yet. You can also leave early, I won't tell your boss." Aventurine finally looks at the man, winking at him. The bartender just utters a few words of gratitude as he quickly goes back to type Aventurine's bill and pack his things.

"Go on now. I took care of that as well." he smiles at you, tapping the table with his index finger.

You swallow again, slowly laying out your cards. Aventurine throws his almost immediately after you, winning with a full house. You click your tongue, hesitantly looking up at him as the bartender waves goodbye before he leaves. You wave back, slowly turning back to Aventurine who just gives you a knowing gaze.

"You can start with the shirt...or do you need my help with that as well?" he tilts his head, lustful eyes gazing up and down at you. You shake your head as you take a deep breath, slowly unbuttoning your shirt as you silently hope to win the next round. You place your shirt on the chair next to you, turning back to face Aventurine. He keeps eyeing you, eyebrows slightly rising upon seeing your bra.

"Fancy. Are you sure you didn't put it on just for me?" he lets out a mellow chuckle as he takes cards again, shuffling them a bit faster than before.

"You wish." you roll your eyes at him, slightly readjusting yourself in the chair.

"Perhaps I do." he confirms nonchalantly as he deals the cards, letting the meaning of his words flow between the two of you. You don't reply, but a dim wave of warmth forms beneath the skin of your cheeks.

You check your cards, still not satisfied as you get three of a kind once again. You want to attack him with a statement that he didn't shuffle the cards properly, but that would be a lie as you watched him do it.

He doesn't say anything this time, just shows you his cards - royal flush. You bite down on your bottom lip as you shamefully show your weaker hand. With a heavy gaze of his, you stand up, quickly losing your pants without uttering the word.

Another round plays out and you lose again. Time to pick between your bra and your panties.

"You can still back out if you want to." he says with an inviting tone, slowly leaning over the table.

"I don't want to."

There is something eager, impatient and borderline lustful as he gazes into you. For some, yet many reasons that makes your tummy curl on the inside, sending hot waves through your body. You swiftly unclip your bra, letting it slide down your shoulders as you expose yourself to him.

His gaze follows the bra that falls down, swiftly turning back up as he admires your tits. You put your bra next to your shirt, slightly squirming in your seat as a soft wave of shyness washes over you.

"This is quite a show from you." he says in a mixed tone of teasing and softer neediness as he swiftly begins shuffling the cards again.

"Do you still wish to continue?" he challenges, but also makes sure at the same time. You nod, a soft sound of confirmation vibrating out of your throat. Your gaze falls on the window of his shirt that exposes a tiny portion of his chest, something inside of you desiring for him to take it off. Thoughts bubble up in your head as he deals the cards, giving you a much better hand this time. It's not the best, but it is a straight flush. So almost the best! You quickly lay them out, excited for the win at hand.

"Almost." Aventurine says bluntly as he quickly slides his cards over yours. To your misfortune, he had another royal flush. You let out a dissatisfied sigh, eyebrows twitching as you remain still for a moment. Aventurine keeps silent, waiting for your next choice. You slowly stand up, barely looking at his direction as you hook your thumbs between your hips and panties.

"Down." he orders you in a slightly quieter tone for the first time during this night. You finally gaze at his face, his eyes intense as he waits for you. You give him a soft smile as you slide your thumbs out of your panties, covering your boobs as you cross your arms over your chest, slightly hugging yourself.

"Do it yourself, Mr winner. This is the prize you were hoping for, no?" you reply in a semi-teasing tone, earning a moment of stillness from Aventurine. He slowly stands up, walking towards you just as slowly. You feel your lower tummy burn in desire as he finally reaches you, body close to yours. You slowly move back until you hit the edge of the table and Aventurine's body follows, inch away from yours. He slowly kneels down in front of you, head looking up as his gaze fixates on yours.

He sneaks his index fingers between your panties and hips, slowly rolling them down as his face remains close, awfully close, to your pussy, tip of his nose not even an inch away. He gently brushes his hands over your thighs, knees, calves and then finally ankles as his gaze still remains firmly on yours. You step out of your panties, kicking them to the side as you rest your palms on the table behind you, exposing your boobs to him again.

He slowly straightness himself, soft palms sliding over the sides of your body in the process, lastly resting on your hips.

"Is this what you were hoping for?" you ask through a mellow whisper, tilting your head at him.

"I could ask you the same question." he answers in a low tone, leaning his face closer to yours.

"Perhaps I did." you smile, gently hooking your index finger underneath the small belt that was holding his collar. Your lips ghost over his, legs slightly spreading. He slowly moves his hands down, sneaking them on the backside of your thighs and swiftly lifting you up on the table.

You spread your legs around his hips as your faces remain close to each other. You slowly move your hands down, undoing his zipper and the button of his pants, giving him a sly look. He doesn't stop you as you slowly slide them down his hips, enjoying the outline of his hard cock on his boxers. As you start sliding his boxers down, he speaks up.

"One last bet. If you kiss me first, I get to cum inside of you tonight."

"And if you lose?"

"Then I will become your fucktoy for as long as you want me to, anytime you want me to."

"One night versus forever..you're quite generous with your offer."

He slowly aligns his cock with your leaking entrance, sliding it up and down over your clit and inner lips, earning a shaky whimper of yours.

"It's a win for me either way."

"And if I never use you?"

"I still get to cum inside of you this one time."

"Ah, so that's your idea of never being on the losing end?"

"Indeed." he confirms as he swiftly slides his cock inside of you, earning a sharp moan of yours and a shaky moan of his. Your hands fall behind you, keeping you up as Aventurine leans his face close to yours, parted lips ghosting over yours. He starts thrusting his hips slowly, letting the tip of his cock remain inside of you for a moment before he slowly slides his full length back inside.

You let out a chain of soft moans, legs squeezing his hips as your gazes fixate on one another, mellow filthy sounds filling up the small space between both of your lips. His hands fall on your hips, pulling you a bit closer to him as he narrows his hips, long and slow thrusts reaching deeper inside of you. You let out a sharper moan as his cock stimulates your sweet spots so agonizingly, shivers going throughout your body.

Aventurine lets out shaky moans, trying to contain them without much success. You let your tongue slide over his bottom lip as it didn't really count as kissing, teasing him further as his hot breath warms up your lips. He clicks his tongue, a choked and shaky moan following as he speaks.

"I did say I won't be rough with you, but that was only while we were playing." he states rather quickly and immediately speeds up his hips, thrusting into you at a much quicker pace, making your eyes roll back from suddenness. You let out a few guttural whines; his balls slapping the underside of your pussy in a sharp manner, making it feel like a pleasurable bruising.

He keeps the angle of his hips, reaching deepest spots of you as your head falls back, lips parting away from his. He leans into your exposed neck, licking a quick stripe over your pulse area, trembling moans spreading hot air over your skin. He messily starts kissing your neck making you clench around his length, but almost forcefully unclenching as his cock slides over your sensitive spots at a brutal pace.

His pelvic area slightly stimulates your clit each time it kisses yours, sending jolts of pleasure through your body. Aventurine reaches behind your ear, trailing to it in soft kisses and licks, leaving lustful and whorish sounds to ring in your ear right after.

You barely clench around him a few more times as his cock keeps sliding in and out of you at a vigorous pace. He moves his hand away from your hip and slides it on the back of your head, moving it close to him as he leans away from your ear, straightening it for you as he keeps slamming his hips into yours. You let out a messy moan, lips almost falling onto his as your mind grows hazy and needier. You quickly catch yourself this time, but Aventurine notices, cock twitching slightly inside of you.

"Fuck, you are so eager I might start thinking you were losing on purpose." he lets his words out in a mixture of steadiness and soft whimpers as his cock keeps slidinh in and out of your overly leaking cunt even faster now. Your eyes roll down as one of your hands grip his shoulder, unsteady vision focusing on the way his cock moves in and out of you.

Aventurine follows your motion, foreheads resting against one another as the two of you watch his cock getting out to the tip and then buried deep inside your cunt. Your pussy convulses at the sight in front of you as his cock twitches in response, desperate moans slipping past your lips.

Your grip on his shoulder becomes tight as his hand pulls your head back by your hair at its previous place, the other hand sliding between your bodies to reach your clit. As soon as you feel his fingers resting on your thigh while only his thumb circles over your clit, a pathetic whine escapes your throat. Aventurine leans his face closer, lips practically on yours, but he doesn't kiss you.

You claw at the table behind you as your hand falls off his shoulder to his chest, fingernails desperately digging into the tiny portion of skin accessible. He lets out shakier moans than before, swallowing half of them which results in a few whines as his pace doesn't slow down, cock relentlessly stimulating all of your sensitive spots while his thumb draws gentler circles over your clit.

Your body begins to twitch, waves of heat overwhelming you as your orgasm slowly builds up. You tighten your legs around his hips, narrowing your own his to meet his thrusts deeper inside. Your gaze is low and needy just like his, pretty eyes not leaving yours once.

"Please don't-" you choke out as a sharp moan interrupts you, legs shaking and losing their grip on his hips. You press your lips into his, but do not kiss him. He speeds up the pace of his thumb on your clit, squeezing louder moans out of you as your back slightly arch. His grip on your hair tightens as his balls keep bruising the underside of your leaking cunt.

"Kiss me if you want to cum." he whispers breathlessly, his own release edging closer as he feels your warm pussy cream and tighten around him.

"Nuh-uh.." you barely shake your head, tensing your lower tummy in order to reach orgasm faster. Aventurine feels the motion of your muscles as it makes your cunt tighten around him even more, giving you one last sharp and heavy thrusts, forcing a sharp whine out of your throat before he slows his hips down a lot. You groan in displeasure, eagerly trying to move your own hips in order to gain more friction. Your breaths mix up together and you brush your lips over his, fingernails digging harder into his chest.

He speeds up the movement of his thumb as his hips move at agonizingly slow pace, quickly building up your orgasm once more. His lips wrap around your bottom one, still not fully kissing you as a soft moan escapes his throat. His cock twitches inside of your cunt as a sharp moan escapes your lungs, first waves of orgasm washing over you.

He quickly moves his thumb away from your clit, all the build up in your lower tummy subsiding as he edges the both of you. He barely thrusts his cock out of you, making your mind hazy as you wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him closer to you. You let your lips wrap around his upper lip, tongue finally hesitantly sliding over it.

"Just let me cum, please." you whimper out, mindlessly greedy for release, pride disappearing as you let yourself lose the bet once more.

On cue, Aventurine immediately speeds up the pace of his hips, vigorously pounding into you as his thumb returns to draw slow circles over your clit. He chuckles into the kiss as you press your lips harder into his, his grip on your hair tightening. Your tongues swiftly find each other, eagerly sliding over one another, sending trembles down your body as you keep moaning into the kiss.

Overwhelming heat washes over you, heavily convulsing in your lower tummy as your orgasm quickly builds up again, breaking through in small waves at first. Aventurine lets out a sharp moan into your mouth as his cock twitches more, pressing deeper into your g-spot and sending you over the edge.

His release immediately follows, a thick whip of cum sending tingles up your spine as it melts inside of your needy cunt at the peak of your release. Your kiss becomes heavy and lustful, breathless as it's filled with whorish moans, both of you ride out your orgasms. Aventurine doesn't slow down for quite some time, hips and his thumb both working at a fast pace to prolong your orgasm and this very moment for as long as possible.

Next morning, a sudden sound of two messages makes your phone light up, a small buzz startling you.

2 messages.

Click.

Aventurine transferred 2 million credits to your account. Click to open.

Aventurine [08:08 am]: My other offer still remains on the table. Do with that information what you wish.

#aventurine x reader smut #aventurine smut #aventurine x reader #aventurine x you #aventurine x yn #hsr x reader #hsr x y/n #hsr x you #hsr imagines #hsr smut #hsr x reader smut #female reader #muse's writings

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bluetimeombre · 3 months

Text

──•~❉᯽❉ Third times the charm

Tom and you met over zoom whilst auditioning for your roles in the ballad of songbirds and snakes. Instant attraction and the chemistry was off the charts, everyone could see it, even you two fools. In every interview you did, as co-stars, as best friends and finally, as a couple…

(from me: hi, sorry, I’m dying for Tom Blyth content so I made so myself. I can't bring myself to write y'/n so i'm just going with 'you.' But I wrote it so you're british, oops. This is also to make up for choosing timmy in the 'call it what you want to' series, for the tom girlies, enjoy!)

──•~❉᯽❉~•──

' How well do the stars of Ballad of songbirds and snakes know each other? - Vanity Fair. '

Tom, you and Josh sat together in the Vanity Fair studio. While Tom kept his cards close to his chest (literally), you and Josh waited anxiously. You were sure you would win though, even Josh was sure you would win. Tom and you had spent almost every day together all year. People in the studio- who had only caught a ten minute glimpse of your friendship- knew your souls were made together.

'First question,' said Tom, pulling the cards back further. 'What is my biggest fear?'

Josh slapped his knee in frustration and you slumped in your chair, laughing to yourself. You must know, surely. 'Mine is gonna be, probably, a little bit more shallow,' said Josh before you could even make a guess.

You rose your brows focusing on a specific point on the floor. 'Shallow?'

Tom rested a hand on your shoulder, giving it a squeeze. His lips were tilted in a fond smile at her concentration. 'You ok?' he laughed, 'you know this- you've got this.'

'No, I do know this, you've told me,' you say.

'You've told her?' gasped Josh.

'I've probably told you!' said Tom. He seemed completely absent minded over the fact he was still holding onto your shoulder, massaging it gently.

'Ok, I think it's- ironically- snakes. That's my guess.' Finally, you breath and cross your legs over.

'Interesting. Josh?' he asked, taking his hand from you. (Maybe eagle eyed fans would see the way his hand flexed at his side, just under the chair. And maybe twitter would blow up with the Mr Dracy like move.)

'I was gonna say mountain lions.'

You and Tom laughed. 'That's more shallow?'

'In what way is that more Shallow?' Tom laughed.

Josh gesture wildly to you. 'I thought you were gonna say something more conceptual.'

'Oh sorry,' you apologise.

Josh leant back on his chair. 'Yea, you should be.'

Tom finished writing on the card. 'So, it was my childhood fear, which I've obviously gotten over but it was-' he turned the card, revealing his scribble. 'Snakes.'

'Yes!' you cheered. 'I knew it!'

'I think it's because I used to watch a lot of Indiana Jones as a kid and because he was afraid of snakes, I think it transferred on to me,' he explained.

'Makes sense,' you shrugged.

'Cool people are afraid of snakes,' Tom agreed.

'And mountain lions,' added Josh, causing your cheeks to heat up with laughter. There was probably nobody who could be so nonchalant in how he makes you laugh.

'Point to you!' cheered Tom, holding up his hand. Quickly you high-fived him and held his hand for a flickering moment before moving on.

'What is my go-to karaoke song?'

You were safe to say, gob-smacked. You swivel in your seat, eyes wide. 'You have a go-to karaoke song?'

He stares at you, just as shocked at your surprise. 'We all do.'

'We do?' you asked. 'Then what the hell is Josh's?' you turn to him, curious.

'9 to 5, Dolly Parton,' he said, seriously. But even that got you cracking up.

'I expect one of you to know this,' said Tom, scribbling his song choice.

'Oh, no pressure then,' you said.

'We went to karaoke all the time.'

'Yes but I don't remember all the song,' you fold your arms over your chest, chewing down on your lips.

'Oh no,' Josh hunched over and you pat his back, mumbling to yourself. 'I feel like- I wanna say it was some punk-rock thing.'

'Do you want a clue?' Tom offered.

'Yes!' Josh.

'No!' You.

'Ok, not then,' said Tom, deciding.

'Wait, no, that's not fair,' Josh complained, 'I want a clue.'

Tom shrugged, holding out his arms. 'Boss said.'

'Yea I don't know why I said that,' you laugh, still thinking. You remember him singing to you, in your trailers or hanging out on set. He or you would strum a guitar and sing together. But karaoke?

'Mambo number 5,' Josh announced.

'Mambo number 5,' Tom checked.

Your brows scrunched up. 'That's punk rock?'

Josh looked at you, then remembered what he was saying. 'No, i'm gonna change mine to all the small things.'

'Ok, your guess?' asked Tom, nudging you.

'Oh I don't know,' you shrug, 'Sexy back, Justin Timberlake.'

'Close!'

'I was close?' you gasp, jumping up in your seat.

'It was,' he shows the card. 'Senorita, Justin Timberlake.'

You and Josh laughed together.

'I don't think I ever heard you sing that!' Josh argued.

'We definitely did, definitely.'

Josh shook his head, body shaking with laughter. 'I don't think I even know the words to the song.'

Tom shifted in his seat, changing cards. 'That's the point of Karaoke, they're up on the screen'

You turn to him, face screwed up and holding onto his knee. 'That's not the point of karaoke babe,' you said solemnly. It was a joke between the cast, how often you called people babe. As a brit. Sometimes you even said it in a Gemma Collins way.

'Anyway, half a point to you!'

You fist pump the air while Josh complains loudly. Whilst bickering, Tom moved on and had to repeat the question.

'What is my favourite mode of New York transportation?' he asked.

You chuckled to yourself, rubbing your head. 'That is the funniest question ever.'

Tom scoffed, his lips curling up. 'How is that a funny question?'

'I've just never known transportation to come up in one of our conversations. Imagine meeting someone and being like 'hey, guess what? my favourite mode of transport is...''

Josh laughed at the hurt look on Tom's face and your own sarcasm.

'Oh yea, what is it then?'

'Your motorcycle,' you said obviously.

'Well, you knew it didn't you,' he pointed out. The two of you bickering like a married couple. Even the crew behind the scene were blushing at you two and laughing.

'I didn't get to guess!' erupted Josh.

Tom and you laughed, holding onto each other and apologising to him.

Josh leant back in his chair, throwing his leg over his knee. 'Ok so motorcycle but i'm gonna go the extra mile and say- I think it's a Honda.'

Tom calmed down, wiping tears of laughter before showing the camera his answer. 'It is motorcyle but Josh is wrong, it's not a Honda so the point goes to you.'

You pat yourself on the back while Josh looks into the camera.

'This is what happens when you give 110%. Is this the example we want to set?'

Tom rests his hand on your back, un-consciously rubbing it. 'Ok so, point to you and Josh gets ... three quarters of a point.'

You nod your head. '75%. Have you got any points?'

Josh glared at you. He then noticed Tom's hand resting on your back. 'Why are you comforting her? i'm the loser.'

You clicked your tongue, pushing him. It was lucky you didn't notice how Tom blushed, turning back to his cards and made a mental note to keep his hands to himself.

The three of you continued down the questions:

'If I weren't an actor, what profession would I be?' Tom

'What are you? writing down a novel there?' You

'You'd definitely work with mountain lions.' Josh

'For some reason I want to say Fire man but that's not it.' You

'What is my coffee order?' Tom

'Oh, I know this, it's the same as mine. Josh, you know this?' You

'Of course not.' Josh

'What is my biggest pet peeve?' Tom

'So many things come to mind.' You

'Am I a grumpy old man to you?' Tom

'Tom has always been so relaxed and easy going, go ahead and put a point down for me.' Josh

For the next question, Tom looked pointedly at you. 'I really hope you get this. What is my hidden talent?'

Josh looked seriously at Tom, only suddenly playing the game. 'I think I know what mine is.'

'I think you should both get this,' he said, writing down the answer.

'Whistling,' you guessed simply.

Tom quipped his lips at you, head moving slightly.

'Well, I was also gonna say whistling,' Josh smirked.

Tom laughed. 'You're so full of shit.'

'I said it first, you're good at whistling. You can whistle like a disney bird,' you said, trying to win more points in flattery.

'Thank you.'

You looked into the camera. 'Tom's actually going to be playing a bird in the new Snow White movie with Rachel Zegler.'

The boys laughed.

Tom nodded, turning around the card. 'The answer is whistling.'

Josh and you shake hands and Tom started to show of his whistling skills, the familiar tune of the hunger games and holding up three fingers.

'I was- that made me nervous,' said Tom shakily.

'Yea, you were shaking,' you said.

Tom reached out for your arm, before remembering before and pulling back. 'I know, did you see my lip quivering.'

'I was nervous for you.'

'Yea, yea, yea,' agreed Tom.

Josh pretended to get out of his seat. 'I should go, i'll leave you guys to it.'

You pulled him back down while Tom moved on, asking the couple final questions. It ended with you earing 6 points, while Josh was at a lousy 2.75. But then, it was yours and Josh's turn to 'flip the script' on Tom. If he got them wrong, you guys got the points so you'd made sure to chose difficult questions.

You just hadn't expected Tom to know everything.

'Tom.'

'Yes,' he stared intently, ready for anything.

'What is my dogs name?' you smirked, thinking he wouldn't remember. Since you were on set and then traveling for press your dog was staying with your family and Tom had only met him once or twice.

'Easy. Padfoot.'

Your brows dropped and you turned away, pressing your lips into a tight line.

Tom nudged you. 'Did you think I wouldn't get it?' he asked and his jaw-dropped when you nodded. 'Of course i'd get it, I love your boy.'

'What the hell is a Padfoot?' asked Josh.

'It doesn't matter,' you waved of, trying to distract yourself from blushing. You really didn't think Tom would get it, would care enough to remember.

'It's a Harry Potter thing,' explained Tom. He stretched out his arm so it held onto the back of your chair. Not touching, right.

Josh asked his question. Tom got it right again and you were looking down at your card, wondering if it was hard enough for him.

Tom watched you set the cards down, tuck your chin into your chest and put your hands behind your chair. 'Oh no,' he chuckled.

'There is a piece of jewellery that I always wear. Now obviously i couldn't wear it whilst filming, but I had it kept in my trailer. And after we wrapped it went straight back on. The question is what piece of jewellery is it?'

Josh was laughing and trying to guess himself while Tom panicked. Every day for a year he had been around you. He'd had lunch with you, hung out in your trailer, you'd nap together and laugh together. He's seen you swimming in nothing but a lovely swim suit. He'd held your hands and you guys had even worn each others rings. How could he not know? He was beating himself up about it, all the while you smirked at him. Tom could almost excuse the fact of being a shitty friend to see how giddy it got you.

He tried to peek behind the chair but you shifted. 'Ok I don't think it's a ring because you change up your rings a lot.'

'Ok,' you hum.

Tom pulled at his lip. You weren't hiding your ears so it couldn't be an earing. That's when he remembered. Tom clicked his fingers. 'It's your locket! and it's gold!'

You sit up straight. 'How?!' Tom immediately looked to your neck- or maybe it was closer to your chest- where your locket dangled just under your shirt 'Well, I think we know who knows each other the best!'

──•~❉᯽❉~•──

Some months later, about eight, you and Tom were back at a quiz. The two of you were starring in different things. Tom's series which he stared in, 'Billy the kid' was having it's third and final debut while you staring in a adaptation of 'Malibu Rising' by Taylor Jenkins Reid for Apple Tv.

' The BFF test! ' - Glamour.

'How do you think we're gonna do?' asked Tom.

'That's not even a question Tom, we're gonna do great!' you threw a thumbs up at the camera and Tom copied you with a grin.

'Let's do this shit!' he yelled.

The crew behind the camera gasped and laughed while you hunched over, chuckling. He realised his mistake, how he wasn't supposed to swear and put his hand over his mouth.

'I am so sorry,' he apologised. Only when you caught your breath did you stand up and hold onto him. His arm wrapped around you back, holding you too.

Eventually, once you two had regained yourselves, you were asked how well you think you know each other.

'Pretty well,' you said.

'Very well,' Tom corrected.

'Very well it is, very well it is,' you said.

The crew behind the camera asked when you first met.

'Over zoom,' you said.

Tom nodded. 'it was a chemistry read for hunger games. Coriolanus and Lucy-Grey. You sang an acoustic version of Silver springs and I watched.'

'And the rest is history. Inseparable ever since,' you smile, swaying side to side while Tom watched with a fond smile. 'But seriously, it was a very lovely moment and since then, i've had a best friend in Tom.'

'Aw,' he said, throwing an arm around your shoulder and drawing you in. 'I love this girl,' he told the camera.

Eventually, once the two of you were finished with the introductions they had you stand opposite each other with a small notebook and pen. Your task: to write a compliment about each other.

Tom was already writing down his, page being filled up quickly. 'How much time you got?'

'Done,' you said, closing your notebook.

Tom looked up. 'What?'

'I'm kidding,' you assured him at his shocked and maybe slightly hurt face. 'How are you writing so much?'

'I have a lot to say about you.'

'Sappy.'

'Shut it, you love it.' Tom was focused on writing down, getting all his thoughts and a thousand unsaid words on page. He couldn't tell how you watched him with a smile and a shimmering glimmer in your eyes, but fans could, and they'd deem it the look of love.

After a moment longer of writing, you finished, looking at him. 'Ready?'

Tom finished his sentence and nodded. 'Ready.'

'Ok you go first,' you say.

'No, you go first,' he insists, the two bickering over each other. 'Ladies first.'

'Age before beauty,' you say.

Tom rolled his eyes playfully but held up his notebook. 'This is- this is nerve racking, woah,' he says, laughing.

'No, I know. I'll turn around if that helps,' you go to turn.

Tom grabs your arm. 'No, don't-' he cleared his throat, let you go and started to read. 'You are incredibly talented, that's the first one. Your acting, your voice, it's unbelievable and every time I watch you at your work, i'm in awe. As well as that, you are so dedicated to your craft, whether it's flying back and forth for your movies or not giving up until you've nailed a scene, you just- you give 110% every time and it's inspiring to watch. Not only do you make me want to be a better actor, but a better man-'

He read from his notebook, flicking through the pages as you watched, mouth covered and tears welling up in your eyes.

'You're insanely intelligent, you have such a unique style that is so you. You give confidence to others and always bring the best out in them. You're witty, you're hilarious, absolutely hilarious, I don't laugh with anyone the way I laugh with you. And you are just the most beautiful girl in the world.' Only when he had finished did he look up and see you wiping your eyes.

'Christ,' you mutter, turning away as the crew laughed.

Tom wrapped you in a bear hug, laughing and rocking you back and forth. 'You're not suppose to cry.'

'How can I not?!' you mumble into his chest. 'Ok.' you took a deep breath, calming yourself before standing back from him and looking down at your own notes. 'Well mine just seem so rubbish now,' you joke toward the camera.

'Tom. You're a talented actor. One of the most talented i've ever met, or ever seen. Watching you on the hunger games, I mean, I was speechless half the time. You're the kindest and sweetest man I know. It's no secret i've always said, men, they suck but you, you changed that. You, single-handily restored my faith in men,' you say, creating a laugh through the studio and him. 'Er, i've just listed compliments, funny, caring, talented, gorgeous, beautiful, so-so hot- I mean, the list goes on but it's not gonna be anything like you gave me.'

'It's perfect, thank you.'

You gesture to him, looking in the camera. 'He's a gentleman.'

Your next task was harder, looking into each other eyes for one minute.

'Is this gonna be like, a staring contest,' you wonder out loud as the two of you already keep your eyes on each other.

'I hope not, my eyes sting already,' says Tom. For a moment, the two of you are just there staring at each other. Your hands behind your back, his at his side as small smiles play at your lips.

'Your eyes are so blue, christ, i've never just stared at them like this before,' you compliment. 'Add that to my list.'

'Are you crying? You look like you're going to cry again?' asked Tom, peering closer at you.

'That's just me, i'm always in a state of verge of tears.'

He laughs, but keeps his eyes open and on you. After a minute, you two finally looked away, rubbing at your eyes. 'I think we were having a staring contest then,' he said.

'Yea, yea, yea, my eyes hurt.'

There was a couple extra challenges, trying to say the same word at the same time (you guys failed every time except last where you both said 'hunger games') and to mirror each others move. The last one, is a trust fall.

'Send it!' Tom pretended to fall back immediately as you lunged to catch. He didn't fall but laughed at your readiness. 'Send it!'

'Stop!' you yell.

'Ok, for real this time, you ready?' he asked, holding his arms over his chest and glancing back at you.

'I'm so scared!'

Tom looked at the camera. 'Why are you scared? i'm the one falling!'

'Ok, on the count of three,' you say, holding your arms out.

'Are you counting up or down?'

'Down. Ok, three... two...one!'

Tom fell back and you held him up, pushing his back. The two of you stumbled a bit causing Tom's eyes to widen, but you had him.

'You are heavier than you look,' you say. 'All that pure muscle.'

Tom struggled back up and then it was your turn. 'On the count of three?' he asked, arms out.

'No!' you whine. 'I hate this!'

'Trust me. Don't you trust me?'

You have your hands tucked to your side. You look into the camera. 'This is gonna send me right back to therapy.'

Tom laughs behind you but reaches over to hold onto your shoulders. 'C'mon, you can do this, i'll slowly ease you back.'

You squeeze your eyes shut and purse your lips, stifling a hum. 'That's cheating.'

Tom tuts, 'No it's not: now-' gently he held onto your shoulders and-bending at the knees- he gently eased you down, until he was crouching and until you were rocking on your heels. You took a deep breath as he held you back up. Your arms were still over your chest as your body wracked with a laugh.

'That was so dumb.'

Tom still had you in his hold, wrapping an arm around your shoulder and pulling you in.

──•~❉᯽❉~•──

A year later and finally, the fans dreams came true. When the video was released, fans went crazy, thinking it was fake or a mashup of clips put together. Instead, it was true. A very real video of the two of you doing a 'couples quiz'.

'Hello!' Tom waved at the camera, before gesturing between the two of you. 'We are here today to do the-'

'Couples interview!' you finish. 'Years in the making it would seem,' you added, slapping your cards over your knee.

Tom looked at his cards. 'What is my first name?'

'Tom Keir Blyth,' you answer easily, 'not Thomas. Against popular contradiction.'

He laughed, knowing you'd call him Thomas to annoy him if you ever bickered. 'Not Thomas.'

'Call him Thomas and he'll break up with you.'

'That hasn't happened!' he told the camera, whacking you playfully with the cards a you sat across from him. 'Ok, moving on, where did I grow up?'

'Birmingham,' you say, in your best Birmingham accent.

'What was my fist film role?' he asked, smirking at the question.

You sigh, throwing your head back. 'Ok so... I don't know if it was your very first one, or maybe it was like, the second or something but you were in Robin Hood, and you played feral child number three.'

'That's exactly what I have on my card,' he said, showing it off to you.

'I'm the best girlfriend,' you sing.

Tom laughed, marvelling at you for a moment before moving onto the next question. 'Oh ok, where was our first kiss?'

You shrug, thinking it obvious. 'On set.'

Tom looked back down to his cards. 'Oh yea, I should've specified- our first kiss like as a couple, or just not on set.'

You laugh. 'Ok, cool, I was gonna say, that's an easy one. So of set, I guess, it was my hotel room. In New York, yea.'

'See, I had down-'

'You had something else down?' you gasp, leaning over in your chair.

'Yea. I had it down as the picnic, when you came to see me on set of Billy,' he explained. He remembered the day fondly. You and him, riding horses into the sandy terrain, taking a picnic down and one of his breaks and rolling around the blanket, laughing and digging fingertips into each other. Lips clashing in the heat of sun.

'But we- ok fine, that was our first kiss.'

'We did, kiss in the hotel room, you're right,' he insisted.

'No, but if you're counting first kiss as a couple then you're right, the picnic.'

'No you should still get the point because that kiss does count.'

Your exchange could've gone on forever if someone behind the camera hadn't spoken up, saying how adorable you two were, causing blushes from both of you before he moved on.

'What is my favourite thing to bring with me when I travel?' he asks.

'Me,' you say, without faltering.

'Correct!' he chucked the card behind him.

'Was it actually?'

Tom nodded. 'Yea. Well number one was you and then the second was my motorbike key.'

You roll your eyes. 'Of course it was. Thank you for putting me above the key at least.'

'Always, darling, always. What is my favourite jacket to wear?' he asked.

You thought about it, carefully and for a while. 'You don't have many but I'm trying to think which you wear the most.'

'I think you'll know it, you should get it.'

You raise your head to the ceiling, taking it more seriously than probably needed. He concentrated on you, wondering how hard you were thinking. 'The thing is- i'm thinking practicality. So like, that would be your motorbike jacket. But the one that I see you in most, and that I wear the most, is like your long, black jacket?'

'I had my motorbike jacket down, so half a point.'

'It crossed my mind!' you defended.

'It did, yes. So 50% of a point.'

You laugh. 'Not 75%.

'Who was my first celebrity crush?' he asked.

'Me,' you answer sarcastically.

Tom rose his card, covering his grin. 'Do you want to try again?'

'No,' you say. You knew what it was, you were taking the joke from him.

'Please?' he asked quietly.

You laugh at how wide his eyes were. 'Your first celebrity crush was Jennifer Anniston, ok.'

'Correct. But if I knew you back then, it would've been you.'

'Thanks, babe.'

'Ok, so I feel like you got pretty much every one of them,' said Tom, tucking his cards away.

'I feel like I did too, how ready do you feel Tom?' you asked.

Teasingly, he leant over, showing his forehead. 'See that? not a sweat. I've got this. Gimme some.'

'What are my dogs names?' you ask.

'Your oldest one is Padfoot, your youngest, the puppy dog is Moony.'

'Correct. Easy one. Ok, next, what is my favourite city?'

Tom's face dropped. 'That got harder so much quicker.'

'What? I thought this was easy.'

'Yea but it's between two. London or New York.'

'Well you've got them. I'd say right now it's New York though. Just because you're there,' you say jokingly.

'We're such a good couple.'

'The best. Lightning round. Favourite food?'

'Pizza.'

'Yes, favourite taylor swift album?'

'Folklore.'

'Easy. What is my favourite bag?'

Tom paused. 'It's a tote, your tote. Is it your waterstones one?'

Sadly, you shake your head. 'To be fair it's a new one i've got, it's my 'I heart new york one.'

Tom groaned. 'Of course it is, how did I not get that? I was literally with you when you brough it.'

'I have it with me today.'

'You do! oh my god, quickly move on before I get annoyed at myself.'

'Oh ok,' you grin down at the question and then pull a face, wondering yourself.

Tom watches, laughs and puts his hand on your knee, squeezing it affectionately. 'Are you alright? what's going on?'

'No, sorry, i'm just thinking about how to word this,' you pause and then, almost as if you weren't aware you were doing it, you hold onto his hand and ask the question. 'What is my favourite thing that you wear?'

Tom's expression matches your puzzled one. 'That I wear?'

'Yes. And I want you to take your time, think about it because you know it. And if you don't get this, we might be over,' you tell him.

Tom's jaw drops and he leans back in his chair, thinking. 'Don't say that!'

'Ok, it was a joke, sorry. But you do know this.'

Tom looks down at himself, but it was a new shirt and there was nothing special about these pants. The shoes were nice but you'd never cared for shoes. He checked his rings. You liked rings and you especially liked his rings but that couldn't have been it. 'Oh!' he almost kicked himself for not getting it sooner. 'Is it my- is it the necklace? he asks, pulling it from under his shirt.

'Yes!' you cheer, throwing the card over your shoulder and reaching over to high five him.

'I've never been so stressed in my life,' he laughed.

'So the necklace-' you start to explain to the camera as tom holds it out proudly, showing every crew and every camera as you laugh and smile at him. Never had you felt so in love. 'The necklace he wears all the time is the initial from the first letter of my name, just like-'

'Just like the Taylor Swift song,' finishes Tom, knowing how much you love it. Even now, you're smiling with teary eyes.

You had not brough it for him, but on your first anniversary Tom surprised you with it. You cried, wept. It was the first time you felt truly seen.

'I think you should sing it,' prompted Tom.

'I'm not singing it!'

'Go on! I love your voice!'

'No!'

'For me?' he asked.

You roll your eyes but don't really sing the song, you more say it: 'I want to wear his initials on a chain around my neck, not because he owns me, but because he really knows me, but obviously, it's you wearing mine so...'

'Thank you for watching our couples quiz!' Tom waves to the camera.

'All in all I think we're couple goals, yea?' you check.

'Oh, absolutely!'

And the show was all done, with you two waving. But the camera's didn't turn off quick enough to catch how Tom held your hand and kissed the inside of your palm.

Yea, absolutely in love.

#coriolanus snow #the hunger games #tom blyth #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #tom blyth x reader #tom blyth imagine #tom blyth fanfiction #coryo #tom blyth x you #fame dr #tom blyth x yn

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roosterforme · 4 months

Text

Adult Education Part 14 | Hangman x OC

Summary: Jake does his best to be reassuring toward Jessica, because the truth doesn't change anything for him. His feelings are strong and getting stronger, but then he does something that could have some serious repercussions, whether it was warranted or not.

Warnings: Fluff, oral sex, angst, swearing, mentions of cheating, blood, punching, 18+

Length: 4600 words

Pairing: Jake "Hangman" Seresin x Female OC

This story is part of the Beer Boy and Sugar universe but can be read on its own! Adult Education masterlist

Seriously, who let Jake on my masterlist!? Banner by @mak-32

Jessica couldn't take much more of this. She was so tired of always being on edge and having to deal with Brian's bullshit. The only time she felt truly calm was when she was with Jake. Just like this. He had his arms wrapped around her, and she was laying on his chest. She felt like she could just be herself around him without worrying what he thought about her. Then he asked, "Do you want to talk about it?"

She did want to talk about it, but she was also afraid he would think less of her. But she just didn't see how she could continue on with Jake unless he knew. She was falling in love with him a little more every day, and there was no way she could ever accept those kinds of feelings in return without him knowing the facts. She carefully shrugged and whispered, "There's not a lot to say. Brian is trying to ruin my career."

Jake held her tighter and kissed along her hair. "Why, Baby? How is that possible?"

Jessica's body involuntarily tensed up in his arms before she took a few shaky breaths and eased her cheek away from his chest. She felt tears in her eyes again as she looked at Jake and whispered, "He and I were dating. And then we were sleeping together. For weeks. And I had no idea that he's married and has two kids."

"Oh," Jake gasped, his pretty green eyes wide as he looked at her, and the feelings of shame and embarrassment intermingled, making her feel sick to her stomach.

When Jake didn't say anything else, Jessica wiped at the tears behind her glasses and pulled herself free from his grasp. He was just staring at her. She always knew it would be hard to tell him what happened, but she expected him to say something. "I ended it when I found out," she managed as her throat grew tighter. "I understand if this changes things between us." Her voice sounded small and weak, and she hated it.

She knew she was smart. She knew how to command a classroom. She used to have more confidence than anyone else, but now she was scooting away from her boyfriend in her pretty green dress while he looked at her and said nothing. She wanted to unzip her dress and slip into bed and get all of the rest of her tears out, but if Jake wasn't going to do anything except stare at her, then she didn't know what to do.

"What would it change?" he finally asked as she fought with the zipper as her hands shook.

"I don't know," she mumbled, frustration rising inside her now. "But I'm sure you think I'm an idiot. Like I can't read the room or take care of myself."

"Jessica," he said, and his voice was sharp enough that she met his green eyes. "You're not an idiot. He took advantage of you."

"It's embarrassing," she whispered, ready to rip the zipper off her dress as Jake climbed out of bed and carefully slid it down for her. As her dress fell away, leaving her completely bare except for her tiny thong, Jake kept his eyes on hers.

He ran his fingers through her hair and said, "Brian is the one who embarrassed himself, Baby. I'm just shocked anyone could treat you that badly when you're as sweet as you are. But you didn't do anything wrong, and I promise I still feel the same way about you right now as I did two hours ago and yesterday."

She nodded and cried against his shirt, her glasses smashing into his chest before he carefully slipped them off her face. Jake was kissing her forehead as she sobbed. "Smart Girl, you've been holding this inside for too long." She nodded as he unbuttoned his shirt and let it fall to the floor. Then he scooped her up and pulled back the covers, climbing in bed with her in his arms while he still had on his undershirt and suit pants.

"I told Advanced Calculus the other day, but she was the first person I ever said anything to. Chippy knows Brian did something to me, but he doesn't know what. That's why he's not allowed in the bar anymore."

He rubbed her back as she fought for each breath through her hiccups and tears. "I have a new appreciation for that grouchy, old man," Jake murmured, tightening his grip on her body as she settled against his chest once again. "And now I wish Bradshaw and his wife had let me level Conley tonight, because I'm really not okay with someone making my girlfriend feel bad about herself and continually belittling her." She looked up at him through her red rimmed eyes, and he kissed her forehead. "You don't deserve any of that."

-------------------------

Jake tried to keep his voice as calm as possible, but he was absolutely outraged inside. All of Jessica's hesitancies made sense now, including the way she thought he was already in a relationship the night they met. She was carrying this unfounded shame and hurt inside her while trying to protect herself from ever letting it happen again. But it wouldn't happen again; Jake would see to that.

The bottom line was, Brian Conley was a fucking asshole, and the next time Jake saw him, it was on. If that man ever so much as looked at Jessica the wrong way again, chances were good he'd end up in the hospital. Not that he was going to say that when she was currently gasping for air with her face buried against him. But he knew he'd take care of anything she needed, because he loved her.

"You're really strong," he whispered, and when she tried to shake her head no, he added, "Yes, you are. You go to work every single day and teach your classes and take care of your students, and you do it while Brian actively tries to make all of it harder for you. You're a badass."

"Oh, my god," she groaned, wiping her cheeks with her palms. "You're kind of right."

"I'm absolutely right," he replied. She gaped at him as he nodded, and soon she was nodding, too. And then Jessica ended up straddling his hips with her breasts pressed against his chest and her lips next to his ear. But it wasn't sexual which surprised him. He kept his arms loose around her and let her talk about whatever she wanted to talk about and pause when she needed to.

Brian's wife was named Sabrina, and their sons were nine and thirteen. He never wore a ring, and hardly anyone at the university knew he was married. Jessica found out about his family when she ran into the four of them out to eat one day.

"Based on the way Sabrina reacted to me when I walked up to Brian, she knew what was going on. I looked her in the eye and told her I was sorry and that I had no idea. So I'm convinced I'm not even the first woman he's done this with. And I know I'm not the last. He's sleeping with a TA from his department now."

"He's still married?" Jake asked softly.

"As far as I know. He had a good tactic for hiding it from everyone at work, too. He would tell me, 'Nobody can find out about us, Jessica. They would think I was playing favorites.' Then after I blew his cover to his wife, he started rumors about how I came onto him. He made himself look completely innocent while making me look like a slut."

Jake grunted. "He's a fucking scumbag. And what's the point of putting in the work and being in a relationship if you're just going to turn around and shit all over your efforts? I mean, obviously you're the kind of woman every guy wants, but you're mine now."

Jessica laughed softly as Jake ran his hands up and down along her back. "I was so scared to tell you," she whispered, her voice soft and sweet. "I didn't want you to think poorly of me."

Compared to every other woman he'd ever known, Jessica was the best. There was no contest in his mind. "None of this is your fault, Reedy. But what about the way he treats you now? What about getting tenure?"

She looked at him sadly. "If I fight it, I'll look bad. He's meticulously set it up that way. And that will reduce my chances of getting tenure even more. I'm honestly a little afraid I'm going to have to try to find a job at a different university."

Jake tried to think of other schools around the city. "Like Cal State? Or Point Loma?"

She shook her head sadly. "Do you know how hard it is to find an opening in a physics department when lazy old dudes still exist?"

Jake pulled her closer and kissed her cheek as he said, "Spell it out for me."

Jessica took a few seconds to snuggle in against him again, and he hoped she felt as comfortable and safe right now as he did. But her words made his heart sink. "I'm talking more like Penn State or Syracuse."

Pennsylvania or New York? Shit. That would never do. Not when he was already thinking about taking her home to Texas to meet his family. Not when he was falling for her more every day. "You should be able to stay in San Diego without being treated poorly."

"You're certainly helping with that."

Jake kissed the top of her head and laced his fingers with hers. "I just want you to be happy," he whispered.

She smiled and said, "You're helping with that, too. Honestly, all I need right now is you, and a table at Chippy's, and for Brian to get hit by a truck."

"Baby, my new truck is all yours. Have at him." Jake was just happy that she was laughing as he let his fingers tangle in her hair. "You're a great teacher. And your fundraiser was incredible."

"Fratraiser," she replied with another soft laugh.

"Fucking Bradshaw," Jake muttered. "Your fratraiser was incredible. You have a lot to be proud of. And I hope you can stay at your school, because I don't think I would do well in upstate New York. I turn into a bit of a whiner when I'm too cold."

Jessica looked up at him curiously. "Are you referring to my Syracuse comment?"

"Yes."

"So you would... come visit me? If I ended up at a different school?"

Jake's lips parted silently. He'd actually imagined moving there with her; the idea of shoveling snow made him want to cry, but he'd consider it for her. "Something like that," he answered softly. "Now... it's very late. Want me to read to you?"

He was reaching for one of the scientific journals on her nightstand with a questioning glance in her direction. "I would love that," she whispered. "How about the one about the one on electric propulsion?"

"Sure, Baby. I won't understand a single word of it, but sure."

"Yes, you will. You're smart."

Jake read quietly with Jessica snuggled against his side until she fell asleep. And then he read the remainder of the article to himself, because he actually did understand it. And it was fascinating. And he watched his girlfriend sleep as he considered registering for one of her lectures next semester, eventually dozing off as well.

It felt like he slept for just twenty minutes and simultaneously twelve hours when he woke up to Jessica's sweet voice in his ear.

"Jake. Good morning."

He grunted softly as he felt her hand work open the front of the suit pants he'd fallen asleep wearing, and then her fingers were skimming along his cock.

"Jessica." His eyes fluttered open just in time to watch her tits and head disappear underneath the covers, and then her lips were on his dick. "Oh, fuck."

He whipped the blankets off as she giggled in surprise, her pink tongue just an inch from his tip. "Is this okay?" she asked, licking him softly as she held him loosely with one hand. Her gorgeous ass was up in the air above her head, decorated to perfection with her green thong, and she was awaiting an answer from him.

"Fuck yes," he gasped, reaching for her glasses. "Put these on first, Baby."

She took them and slid them on. "You want to make sure I can see everything I'm doing?" she asked before settling into place again.

"No. I just like how you look in them," he whispered.

She grinned and pulled his pants down a little bit more, kissing his length as she did so. This marked the first time Jake had felt her mouth on his cock, and he was way too excited for this. He loved getting blowjobs; always had, always would. But he couldn't remember a single girl who wore glasses for him.

"You need to tell me what you like," she whispered, wiggling her ass in the air as she cupped his balls. Holy shit, this woman had no idea how fucking hot she was.

"I'm going to like anything you do," he promised, and then he was rewarded with her parted lips around the head of his cock. She sucked on him in a soft rhythm as her tongue swirled, and he groaned, "God damn. What did I even do to deserve this?"

Jessica popped him free and said, "You're a good boyfriend," before taking him deep with one long, smooth stroke until he bottomed out.

"Holy hell." He was scrambling now, one hand in her hair and one gripping at the sheets. "Baby, baby, baby," he whispered, watching as she bobbed her head. He had to suck in a deep breath through his nose and try to calm himself down. But when he exhaled, he just ended up moaning instead. "Oh my god."

Jessica's tits bounced and slapped each other and his thighs as she bobbed faster and faster before withdrawing him and grinning. The long strand of her saliva hanging from her lips was mesmerizing, and when it broke and landed on his hip he thrust up in her hand involuntarily.

"You seem eager for more," she teased, shaking her ass again.

"Jessica," he gasped when she started slowly jerking him off with her hands. "I'll do anything."

She leaned down and kissed his tip and then his abs and then his tip again. "Just ask nicely."

Jake watched her lick her lips, and he was desperate for that pink tongue again. He knew she was in charge right now, and he wouldn't have it any other way. "Please, Baby? Please suck me off? I can't get enough."

She leaned down farther, her tongue settling on his base as he watched his cock rest against her glasses. He had to stifle a moan at the feel of her warm mouth and cool glasses at the same time, and then she licked his full length before taking him deep. His girlfriend was meticulous and unhurried, just like she was when she was lecturing. And now he made the mistake of thinking of her in front of a room full of eyes wearing a short skirt and tall heels as he reached to squeeze her tits.

He had no idea what he was saying. Just depraved things falling from his lips.

"Jessica, your mouth was made for me."

"Fuck, Baby. I need to come. I need to come."

"You're so good. So good!"

He couldn't be sure how much time had passed, but he was whimpering and begging her now as she slowly dragged her lips up to his tip before pushing them back down. Every graze against his balls and stroke of her fingernails in his trimmed hair had him gripping her tighter. Each swipe of her tongue had him cursing under his breath. He couldn't remember ever being this verbal before. But now she wasn't changing her pace at all, favoring her current plan to make him lose his mind.

"Please," he gasped, panting so hard it was embarrassing.

"Tell me what you want," she demanded between long stripes of her tongue, the change of pace taking him closer to the edge.

He wanted it bad. So he decided to say it. "Let me cum on your glasses?"

She grinned and wrapped both of her hands around his length, and he was immediately in trouble. "Cum wherever you want."

"Oh, hell," he whined, tilting her head just right with his fingers tangled in her hair, and then when she licked her lips again, he was right there.

Jessica gasped as his cum hit her glasses before another ribbon landed on her forehead. She squealed in delight as he coated her up, and she kept pumping her hand up and down his length. "Jesus," he grunted, reaching for her hand and slowing her motion as she licked the last beads of cum from his tip. "Jessica."

Jake hauled her up his body and kissed her lips, tasting himself and needing more. He ran his tongue across her cheek, cleaning his cum from her skin. Then he licked her glasses, and when he kissed her, she moaned into his mouth. He dragged his tongue through his mess again and again as he cupped her ass and brushed her hair out of her face. But she was a mess everywhere, and so was he. It didn't matter, because she was smiling at him over the top of her glasses.

"That was hot," she whispered, and he tipped his head back and swallowed hard, still tasting his cum.

He hadn't been needy like that in recent memory. Maybe ever. "Baby, you're what's hot."

She pushed her fingers back through his hair, and for some reason, looking at his girlfriend's cum soaked face had him completely convinced she was the one. "Come wash me off," she whispered, and Jake followed her into the bathroom and the shower.

He cleaned her glasses and her face under the stream of steamy water, pausing frequently to kiss her sweetly. He ended up with his back pressed to the wall as she told him, "You made me feel so good about myself last night. Just like you always do. Thank you."

"I was just telling you the truth, Baby."

As he ran his nose along hers, he thought about all the things he wanted to tell her and tried to put all of it in order in his mind. Then she added, "Now that alumni weekend is over, your birthday is coming up. We can focus on that instead."

He smiled. "Nothing fancy, okay? I just thought maybe we could trade Chippy's for the Hard Deck for one night? You could meet the rest of my friends."

"Do they have Sam Adams on tap?" she asked with a coy smile.

Jake scoffed. "I wouldn't have suggested it if they didn't."

"Then yes. That sounds perfect for your birthday."

---------------------------

On Monday morning, Jessica still felt incredible. She'd managed to get Jake to stay over again, and he'd left her place at six in the morning wearing his wrinkled suit. Just the thought of it made her smile. He'd taken so much time reinforcing that he didn't think less of her because of Brian. He'd told her over and over that none of it was her fault.

Even though she had a department meeting, she practically floated down the hallway to her office. Seeing Brian today would have no bearing on her mood or her happiness. But when she got closer to her door, she saw someone waiting for her.

"Advanced Calculus," Jessica called out, rushing a bit more with her travel mug of coffee and her bag. She was delighted to see her friend and thank her again for everything she and Bradley did to help her out. "Hi."

But the other woman held her hands up with a remorseful look on her face. "Listen, Jessica. I'm really sorry if what I did or said to Brian on Saturday night makes things worse around here for you. I should have kept myself in check, but I just fucking hate him."

Jessica gasped, and her face broke out in a smile as tears welled in her eyes. "No way. It was kind of perfect actually. Do you know how good it felt to have someone stand up for me for once?"

Next thing she knew, Jessica was wrapped up in her arms, and the tears didn't even fall. They just provided a pleasant blur as both women laughed.

"Oh, thank goodness. I was afraid you'd be upset with me. Bradley told me to text you about a million times, but I knew you were probably having an important weekend with Jake." Then she jerked Jessica out of her arms and eyed her closely. "Jake was good, right? You told him about Brian and he was a gentleman?"

Something flashed in her eyes that Jessica thought might have been protectiveness. "Yes. I told him everything, and he was... perfect."

"I knew he had it in him," she muttered. "Listen, I can't eat with you today. I promised Dr. Rosenthal I'd meet him to talk shop about the summer term over lunch. But tomorrow?"

"Sure," Jessica told her as she took off toward the elevators with a wave. "See you tomorrow."

After that, she checked her emails and found one from Dean Walters about how successful her alumni weekend event was. She decided she'd stop by his office and try to set up a one-on-one meeting with his receptionist later this week. Jessica probably had former Kappa Pi alum Dr. Gregory Michaels to thank for this, because she was absolutely certain Brain wouldn't have said anything flattering to the dean.

Convinced that Brian at his worst would have no effect on her whatsoever today, she headed downstairs for the weekly meeting with her chin held high. Jessica held the door open for Dr. Leeland and Dr. Nguyen, and then she blended into the back row seamlessly. Of course Brian took the time to thank everyone involved with the weekend by name. Well, everyone other than Jessica. But she just smirked in response. She'd already seen the email from Dean Walters. Brian could just spout off his usual shit until he was blue in the face. She could take it.

Then her physics lecture went smoothly, and Luca turned in a perfect homework set. She almost wanted to hug him, because he actually seemed proud of himself. Even though she ate lunch alone, she had some leftovers that Jake made, and she didn't mind one bit. Especially when he texted her while she was taking her break.

I miss you. I'll be there tomorrow for your office hours. Maybe you can teach me a thing or two.

She was certain she could. She couldn't wait to show him.

-----------------------

When Jake arrived on campus in his uniform on Tuesday evening, he expected to see Bradshaw's wife or perhaps Luca on his skateboard. What he didn't expect to find was a nearly empty science building. He smiled as he pushed the elevator button and rode up to Jessica's floor. Maybe he'd get a chance to have her alone in her office again.

The weekend had been amazing, especially if he could cut out the parts where Brian Conley made his girlfriend cry. But Jake couldn't even be too upset about that, because after the frat fundraiser, Jessica had opened up even more to him. He finally had a better understanding of the way her mind worked, and he wanted to spend weeks reassuring her that he still felt the same way about her.

Shit. He was definitely in love. There was no getting around that now. He would tell her soon. He'd figure out the best way to say it so she'd know he meant it.

Her office door was open a few inches, and Jake could tell she wasn't alone. He heard voices, but he couldn't make out what they were saying. One voice sounded distinctly male, so maybe it was Luca looking for extra help. Based on what Jessica told Jake about his grades, Luca could absolutely use the extra help. So Jake just propped himself against the wall; he had no problem waiting until she was free.

"What the fuck do you mean Dean Walters emailed you directly?"

Jake pushed away from the wall immediately. That wasn't Luca. That was Brian, and he had just raised his voice.

Then he heard Jessica as she quietly said, "He emailed me to tell me I did a great job! This was my fundraiser, and you did nothing but try to prevent me from being successful!"

"You don't deserve success," Brian hissed, and Jake tried to take some calming breaths. "And you'll never have it here. That includes tenure."

"What happened between us has nothing to do with how well I can do my job!"

When Brian laughed, it made Jake's skin crawl. With his fists clenched, he slowly pushed the door open as Brian said, "You deserve every label I gave you after you tried to ruin my marriage: the idiotic, unreliable department slut. You should have just kept your head down and your cunt available for me. Then you'd have tenure."

Brian had Jessica shoved up against her bookcase full of journals, the ones that Jake loved so much. Her face was red, and he could tell she was on the verge of tears. But she was so fucking strong as she told Brian, "I will get tenure, and you'll look like an asshole to everyone."

Then Brian put his hand on her face, and Jake snapped. "Hey, Conley," he barked, shoving the door so hard that it bounced off the wall before slamming shut. Brian turned to look at him, but his hands remained on Jessica who looked shocked now. "Hands off!" When he didn't back away from Jessica, Jake walked around her desk and as gently as he could with shaking hands, pulled her away from Brian. "You're even dumber than you look, man."

Brian laughed at him. "Yet you're the one trying to defend this slut."

Jake sucker punched him directly in his nose before he could think things through. "Oh, shit," he gasped as blood spurted onto Brian's suit and Jessica's precious collection of journals.

She gasped next to him. "Jake."

"Fuck!" Brian nearly shouted, reaching for his gushing nose with both hands. "Are you out of your mind?"

But Jake shook his head, because Brian's bullshit wasn't going to work on him. "If I see you touch her or any woman like that ever again, I'll break your entire face. And you better start saying your prayers that I don't go to the dean myself. You think it's smart to leave the door open during Dr. Reed's office hours while you physically and verbally assault her?"

Brian just looked at him as his nose bled and his face started to bruise. Then his gaze shifted to Jessica where she stood slightly behind Jake. "Fuck you, bitch." Then he was gone, sending her door slamming once again.

"Jake," Jessica whispered as he looked at the droplets of blood on the floor and the bookshelf.

"Jess, I'm sorry," he replied, raking his fingers through his hair. Her eyes were wide as he added, "I'm so sorry. I think I just made things a lot worse."

-----------------------------

Okay, I love to see him get the punch in while they are in private, but now I'm nervous. Thanks @mak-32 and @beyondthesefourwalls

PART 15

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sunny44 · 1 year

Text

You shouldn’t let her go

Pairing: Lewis Hamilton!girlfriend reader x Max Verstappen!ex-girlfriend reader

Warnings: stupid Max, pregnancy

Summary: Max left his fiancée after years of relationship because he felt he couldn't stand being tied to someone anymore so after almost two years she shows up in the paddock with Lewis and he realizes he shouldn't have let her go.

Ps: just to make it clear, I am not in favor of the rivalry that is imposed on Lewis and Max, I know they are not friends but the reality does not match my stories, this is fiction so don't take it personally.

Next Chapter

When he decided that our relationship should end I thought he was joking.

For days and weeks I couldn't believe that this was real, but my mind was made up as soon as I saw pictures of him on the internet with women in parties.

It was then that I realized that our engagement was over.

I don't think I have ever suffered so much in my life, I never thought that I would be isolated for months.

I suffered so much that I started to stop eating, in the beginning I ate very little but as the days went by I decreased until I almost stopped completely but luckily my mother saved me from being at the bottom of the pit.

The first months were difficult, I had been used to our own routine for years and having to leave it suddenly was extremely difficult, in fact I was torn out of that routine.

I had to leave where I had lived for years since the apartment was his, I had to learn to take care of my place by myself since now there was no one else for me to share my tasks with.

But 5 months later I met someone, someone who made me have those feelings again, the feelings that I thought after Max I would never have again.

I already knew who he was and he also knew who I was but the fact that he was Max's enemy but leads meant that we never really talked.

Lewis and I had been dating for almost 9 months when he ask me to be his girlfriend and I remember being extremely happy that he was taking our relationship as seriously as I was.

And since that day we have been together and today would be the first time I could be in a formula one paddock since Max and I broke up.

Today was the Dutch GP and Lewis and I were on our way to the paddock, him and I had agreed early on in the relationship that we would only go public when we were comfortable letting the world know about us. I know how well this world works, if you don't do something people judge you and if you do something they judge you anyways.

And I knew what the fans would say that I was a hustler who only dates drivers and that since I got dumped by one I went after another.

But they don't know the half of it because the part where I suffered they don't care because one of the most coveted pilots became single so they can go after him and try their luck and some of them really do.

Most of them are like that, they go from city to city in nightclubs chasing silly girls who are willing to have their one minute of fame for being able to say that they fuck a formula 1 driver, but in the end this is nothing because in years of relationship he can forget you in one day so how long does it take for them to forget a simple fuck?

When we arrived in the paddock I could already feel my nervousness and so could Lewis, he knew I was afraid to come but not because I was here again or even because I had to see him.

But because of the fact that I would be judged for dating a driver who doesn't get along well with my ex for clear reasons.

But I'm already expecting that his fans don't like me.

"Are you okay?" He asks looking at me but I don't answer and just stare at nothing. "Hey, baby."

"Yeah?" I asked looking at him.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Again he asks and I don't answer. "I'm not sure we picked the right GP to do this."

"In this situation there is no right GP. But I think we picked the worst one." I say and he laughs. "Look they are going to hate me anyway with us showing up together today or in the next race so let's just get over with."

"That's the way to talk." He says cheerfully and we get out of the car.

When we got out of the car and were getting in it seemed like the world had stopped around the two of us, the flashes and noises of the cameras, the movement was so big that even some of the drivers that were scattered around looked and were surprised at what they were seeing.

Halfway there I felt Lewis taking my hand and intertwining our fingers and confirming what people were thinking.

We walked to the Mercedes garage and before we entered I could see him standing in front of the Red Bull garage with some people from the team talking to him but Max was more focused on me than on them.

When we got inside I went to say hello to the people from the team, some faces were already known but most I didn't know who they were.

"We have an unexpected visitor." I hear a voice behind me and I recognized it right away by the accent.

"Hi Toto, how are you?"

"Fine and you?"

"I'm great taking all the attention."

"It's almost as if Beyoncé is walking into the paddock."

"I felt like her." He laughs.

"I'm going to go change and be right back okay?" Lewis says and I nodded and he gave me a kiss before heading to his room.

"I'm going to get some coffee, will you let him know for me?" Toto agrees and I leave to get a cup of coffee.

Which I shouldn't have done if I knew Max would find me and come after me.

"Hi."

"Hi Max."

"Good to see you, you look great."

"Thanks."

"And how are you?"

"Fine."

"I haven't heard from you anymore."

"You wouldn't have had to know, you made it very clear that you didn't want me in your life anymore the last time we saw each other."

"And that was the biggest mistake of my life.”

"That’s your problem now." I said walking past him but he held my arm. "Can you let go of me?"

"Are you really with him or was that whole scene just to make me jealous?"

"Pay close attention because I'm only going to tell you once, you broke up with me and it was you who broke my heart. You don't know what the hell my life was like after you dumped me, so don't come to me wanting to know about my life because I don't owe you anything.”

"I'm sorry I was an asshole and I deserve that you are angry with me but seriously you are dating him? You didn't even like him."

"YOU didn't even like him Max I've never even spoken to him to draw those conclusions. And you are rivals on the track but off the track you have no connection."

"So you're dating a guy who hates me? After everything we've been through?"

"And after everything we've been through you dumped me like that for no reason at all so it looks like we're even." He looks at me with anger and sadness at the same time. "And for your information yes I am dating him and it's been a long time, it's not something recent that happened just so I could make you jealous. So leave me alone."

I turned to leave and after a few steps I stopped and looked at him.

"Actually I do owe you something.” He looked at me. "I owe you a thank you for breaking my heart years ago because then I could meet a guy who really loves me and who sees a future with me unlike you who only saw me as a trophy that you dragged everywhere."

Having said that I actually left and went to get a coffee which would actually be a tea since I was avoiding drinking too much coffee.

After buying the tea and a donut that I couldn't resist when I saw it I went back to the Mercedes garage seeing a super worried Lewis.

"Oh my God, where were you? I was worried when I came back and didn't see you here."

"I asked Toto to tell you I was going to get something to drink."

"He had to go to a meeting and must have forgotten."

"I'm fine, don't worry."

"You look a little pale, is something wrong?" He asks, running his hand over my face and I know why I was pale but I wouldn’t tell him right before the race.

"I had a forced conversation with Max on the way over."

"What did he do? Did he hurt you?"

"He didn't hurt me he just wanted to know if we were really together or I was just using you to make him jealous. But I'm not." I hasten to say."

"I know don't worry about it, don't worry about him okay? He's not worth your time."

Lewis put his arms around my waist bringing me close to him and I held his face and kissed him until we were interrupted by the crew calling Lewis to get in the car because the race was about to start, he kissed me once more and went to the car.

I didn't remember how torturous and agonizing it was to have someone you love racing at over 300km/h, every time it seemed like someone was going to crash and I was scared to death that something was going to happen to Lewis but I knew that he was an excellent driver and had total control of what he was doing.

That was until he started to lose positions and that made me and the team worried because the car was the best of the weekend.

Max was first now and I could almost hear his laughter in my head and it really pissed me off.

"Y/n come here." I heard Toto calling me and Bono handing me a microphone.

"Why are you giving this to me?" I picked up the headset in confusion.

"He's nervous for some reason and we can't calm him down so try talking to him."

"Lewis can you hear me?" I ask after I put the headset on.

"Honey? What are you doing there?"

"You need to concentrate, what's going on?"

"I keep thinking about you and him, and it's distracting me. I'm afraid that after you talked today you might want to get back together with him.”

"Don't think about it, I love you and I'm never getting back with Max, understand? I couldn't even."

"Why couldn't you?"

"Because me and our baby love you and we are here rooting for you too."

"Our baby?" he asks without understanding.

"I'm pregnant babe."

"Are you serious?"

"Yes, I am."

"Are we having a baby?"

"Yes we are." I could hear him laughing with happiness. "So go get him."

Right then he sped up and sped up as if his life depended on it and on the last lap he passed Max and the whole garage celebrated, when he crossed the finish line we all went in front of the podium where I went running with the team and stood right in front, he jumped out of the car and celebrated and then came running towards me and kissed me, he pulled me through the fence hugging me even tighter. He bent down and kissed my belly making me laugh through my tears and the look on Max's face that came second didn't go unnoticed, I don't know if it was me but their eyes seemed to shine with the tears but at the moment I didn't care because my happiness was there with me celebrating his victory.

Bonus scene!

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Liked by LewisHamilton, yourmom, mickshumacher, landonorris and others 82937

Yourusername After feeling lonely and unhappy for years I finally found someone who makes me feel like the most special woman in the world. I can't thank you enough for making me shine again and for making me a better person.

And now that our family is growing, I can only thank you for always being there for us, I love you so much.

Tagged: LewisHamilton

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mika-no-sekai-blog · 3 months

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Wingspan

Word count: 4.4k

Warnings: Minors denied. Don't want me to write the list of all shameful things I wrote under the cut

Because I've spent whole week with sick 2 years old child, managed to get sick as well and I'm deprived of Azriel because last two months I'm writing only Heal me and as soon as he appeared on scene, this invaded my mind.. Honestly too many reasons to write something silly ⁄⁠(⁠⁄⁠ ⁠⁄⁠•⁠⁄⁠-⁠⁄⁠•⁠⁄⁠ ⁠⁄⁠)⁠⁄

"Okay, guys. You know why we are here," I started. "At first I'd like to thank you that you voluntarily signed up as subjects for this research."

"We compare our pricks whole life. It's our pleasure that somebody finally took it seriously and wants to write a whole book about it," Cassian teased, laughing hard.

Rhysand was trying really hard to keep a straight face the whole time, but after Cassian's comment he was about to lose it, and Azriel standing in the dark corner rather disappeared in his shadows after this comment.

How did I even get into this situation? Well, I knew how. It all happened because I was a passionate researcher. Too passionate for my own good.

It all started with mated Archeron sisters and Mor who wouldn't stop debating about this thing of a correlation of wingspan with the size of Illyrian male's private parts. It picked up my interest and I searched the entire library to find out more info about it. Utterly failing in the process, there wasn't a single mention. There wasn't even a proper documentation of their wings alone. So I took it upon myself to collect necessary data to confirm or deny truth of this rumour. I briefly mentioned it to Rhys hoping he could help me find enough subjects for the research. Which he did in surprisingly short time. And as if it wasn't enough he and his brothers signed up, too.

"That part I will leave to you. I hope I can count on you to deliver accurate numbers. If you try to cheat I'll have your mates to do it properly," I laughed, but I meant every single word.

"I'm sure Nes would be all for it," Cassian grinned proudly.

"As if Feyre wouldn't," Rhysand lost it. I had to laugh. I was afraid it would turn into something awkward, but with these two it was impossible. They were like kids, turning everything into a funny game.

I met Rhysand under the mountain. He witnessed the moment my ex betrayed me and when Feyre saved us all, he picked up my remains and brought me to Velaris to heal. In the end I decided to stay here. I buried love, lust and everything related to it as deep as possible and focussed on what I liked - research - occasionally helping inner circle.

"At least they certainly won't cheat," I smiled. "This research origins in their concern after all."

The three of us laughed so hard we cried. Only Azriel stayed silent hidden in his corner.

"And who will make sure Azriel doesn't cheat?" Cassian wondered.

"Why should I," Azriel stepped out from his hideaway, lowering a challenging gaze at me.

"I believe Azriel is the last one of three of you to use such dirty tricks to manipulate the results," I said, returning his gaze. "But if he does, I'll personally make sure he delivers true data."

His hazel eyes lit up with mischief and corners of his full lips slightly moved upward in a hardly there smirk. He wasn't so different from his brothers. More serious than these two? Certainly, but he could be playful, too.

"Okay, guys, let's get it done. Who is the first to show off the wingspan?"

This was the part I'd been looking forward the most. Illyrian wings, the most important subject of my research and to be honest, the main reason of this fuss. So sacred that sometimes even their lovers weren't allowed to touch them. Not that I could touch them by any mean. Boys only granted me to take measurements and a close look to make detailed sketches. Totally understandable given how sensitive they were.

All three of them took turns one in a time, helping me when my arms were too short. I took measurements of different parts of their bodies, too, just to be sure I have all I could possibly need to get accurate results. I wrote down numbers into my notebook, already amazed by the results.

"That's all for today. Thank you for your time. When can I expect the other data?"

"You can get them even right now, if you want, but I guess you don't want to see it, do you?" Cassian, always such a tease. I shook my head laughing.

"Would tomorrow morning be a soon enough for you?" Rhysand purred, flashing a smile. "Tonight we're going to have a lot of fun with Feyre."

"It would be perfect," I agreed. The sooner I was done here, the sooner I could go to camps to collect data from volunteers Rhysand had found for me.

Cassian and Rhysand left soon after, but ever-silent Azriel stayed behind.

He seemed to be so flustered and nervous while I was taking his measurements. Cassian was picking on him for that, but Azriel stoically ignored him and held still. It seemed he didn't even breathe. I knew he didn't like to be touched. It was the biggest of the surprises that he voluntarily signed up for this, so I was extra careful with him.

Ever since I met him, he was always very kind and considerate to me. However it took some time until he opened up. It's just few months since we started to hang out more. Not that I wouldn't like him. If I were honest, I would admit that he was very interesting person, I liked him a lot and he was so incredibly handsome. Too handsome to be real.

But that's exactly the way I wasn't suppose to think about him. I'm the type who falls easily and hard, and loves with all her being. That's why I was so devastated last time. Nobody could possibly love somebody like me. I'm unbearable in many ways.

Plus he is too high league for somebody like me. He can have anybody he wants and the line of prospects is long. Elain and Gwyn for example compete for his attention for years. Successfully. There's no way he would think of me that way. I shook my head to get rid of these self harming thoughts.

Turning I smiled at him encouragingly. Azriel cleared his throat, wings rustled behind his back. He did this often when he was nervous or uncomfortable.

"The camps.. are you planning to go there alone?" His deep voice always did this strange thing with my insides. And today was no different. I pushed the feeling aside, to the box of things I shouldn't think about and shut it closed.

"No, I believe last time Rhysand mentioned something about sending an escort. Mor is going with me, too."

"Okay," he nodded. His one word responses the were death of me. It was so hard to keep conversation going.

"Uhm.. So tomorrow? You don't have to hurry if it's inconvenient for you."

"Tomorrow is fine."

"Oh.. So.. uhm.. I'll see you tomorrow." Shadowsinger just nodded looking down at me a little longer than necessary and then finally he turned and left. I let out a long breath.

Next day Rhys came as the first one as soon as I entered my office. I guess he couldn't wait. Cassian stopped by as soon as the training with priestesses was over. I checked their results with their mates during the lunch break just to be sure the numbers are correct.

It was almost evening and Azriel was nowhere to be seen. I packed some of the stuff I needed to take to camps and took a look around. There was nothing else to keep me occupied, so I decided it's time to go home. I was about to open the door when a knock sounded. It was Azriel.

"You came," I greeted him with smile.

"Yeah, I'm sorry I couldn't come sooner. I was-"

"It's okay," I interrupted him. "You really don't need to apologise. I'm grateful you signed up for this."

He made a small noise and handed me a piece of folded paper. I took it and returned to my desk where I left the notebook with all data.

"Were you going to go home already?" he asked while I unfolded the paper.

"Yeah, you came just in time. One minute later and I would be gone." I looked at the number and froze. No way, this was certainly wrong. I compared it to the other numbers. Definitely wrong.

"Something's wrong?" he stepped closer, peeking down on me.

"What?" I was so immersed in my thoughts I didn't hear him. "Excuse me," I said boldly and reached for his crotch. Just to make things clear, I wasn't completely myself, otherwise I wouldn't dare to even think about doing so. In that very moment I was simply researcher and nothing else.

Azriel sharply inhaled, eyes widened, but he held still, blushing heavily.

"As I thought," I mumbled to myself releasing him. "Sweetheart, you were supposed to measure yourself when you are.. You know.. 'excited'. I really didn't think you would try to sabotage the research," I tried to joke to lighten his embarrassment. "With your .. equipment.. there's no reason for you to lose. I thought you are quite competitive."

He just silently looked to the side while the shadows danced around him as if trying to hide him.

"Or did you want me to help you with it?" I smiled teasingly. His head snapped up, hazel eyes finding mine. "Sit down there," I pointed to an armchair near the window. While he did as I asked him, I took a chair, placing it next to the armchair, facing the other side. I took the notebook, a towel and a tape measure I used the other day, and sat down on the chair.

I looked at him amused. From this angle I could see only his face and shoulders. "Go ahead. I won't look." With that I opened the notebook looking for the page, but he hadn't moved gazing up at me.

I smiled still leafing through pages. "Let me tell you a secret, okay? We have something in common, Az." I leaned closer to him as if it was really a secret I was about to reveal. "When I say I won't look, then I really won't do it." I looked straight into his eyes to make it clear that I meant it. "I can even measure you without seeing it. I don't need to touch you either. All I need is for this measure to touch you. That's all. So take your pants off and let me know when you are ready."

At this moment he was panting heavily, his pupils dilated. "Do you want me to chit chat you through it? Or do you prefer silence?" I added, arching a brow at him when he just sat there gazing. Finally he moved and I heard as his pants slid down. Azriel's gaze darkened, his eyes never leaving mine.

He swallowed, his broad chest heaving. "I'm ready" he rasped, his usually deep voice deepened even more. I'd be lying if I said it didn't effect me. Now it was my turn to blush.

I handed him the towel. "Cover yourself." I stood up slowly to give him enough time. I turned to him placing notebook on a small side table within arm's reach. I gasped when I looked down at him. My heart went crazy, running for marathon and I could only wish he didn't hear it.

Azriel sat in the armchair in full grace as if it was his throne, his bare legs with muscles on right places spread wide, towel crumpled in his fist. He grinned challengingly.

Okay, maybe we have more than one thing in common. I hate losing, too.

My mouth went dry and I was panting as heavily as Azriel. My head emptied. It took me every ounce of self-control to step between his legs, control my trembling hands and measure him. But I did it, I didn't break.

"Much better," I said coolly as I wrote results down. I collected my things, ready to leave.

"You want to leave me like this, Y/N?" Azriel growled lowly.

I made the mistake and looked into his beautiful eyes. I wasn't sure what I'd seen in them, but it dug out all forgotten feelings. As wave of lust washed over me I lost control over myself. I sat down on the armrest, my legs brushing his thigh lightly. I placed hands on his shoulders and leaned in.

"You are right. I should repay you," I whispered inches from him.

For a while Azriel watched me as a starved man. Slowly, very slowly he erased the distance between us, his soft lips colliding with mine. The moan that came out from his throat made me forget whatever happened after that.

When his fingers found a waistband of my pants and started unbuttoning them, it was like a cold shower. I broke the kiss, untangling my fingers from his silky dark strands. Eyes still closed, his lips followed after me. I squeezed his fingers in my hands and he looked up at me. I could see he wasn't pleased that I stopped him, but he didn't try to pressure me.

"This part of me is not on offer," I said calmly sending him a sad smile. There wasn't reason to be mad. It was my fault in the first place, I was the one to provoke him. "For you it might be just another one night stay that you forget all about very next morning, but I'm different." I stood up fixing my clothes. "I take male to bed only when I have feelings for him and vice versa." He frowned, ready to say something. "I'm trying to say.. for me it isn't just sex.. To do it, I need real relationship, real feelings, security.. Lust isn't enough. I'm sorry." I left quickly and he didn't try to stop me this time.

Next day early in the morning I left to collect data at camps. Work helped me to forget about that night, but as soon as I stopped, it all returned. The most scary thing was to return back to Velaris and meet him. So I extended my stay as much as possible.

Four months later I was sitting in a sitting room of River House, chatting with Feyre and Mor by the fireplace after the family dinner. I collected all data to get some presentable results and currently I was half through writing in down. (Just between us, the rumors have proven to be true. Larger wingspan equals bigger you-know-what)

It was few weeks since I returned to Velaris and so far Azriel was avoiding me as much as possible. When we happened to be in the same room, he didn't even acknowledge me, looking the other side. So much for my fear.

Did it hurt? As hell. He was my friend. The feelings he awakened that night also didn't disappear over night, haunting me down every spare minute I had. I pushed them deep down, but it was too late. I'd already fallen for him.

During our stay at camps, Mor found out that something must have happened before we left, but she'd never asked about it. Which I was very grateful for. I wasn't ready to talk about it.

Now she kept peeking somewhere behind me, biting on her lower lip, unusually silent. Something was obviously bothering her. I could ask her straight away, but I decided to give her 5 minutes to see if she would start to talk on her own. It took exactly 3 minutes.

"Uhm, Y/N, tell me. Something happened between you and Az?"

"I may have hurt his male ego. Why?" I replied as casually as possible.

"He keeps eyeing you and I know that look too well. He watched me like that for five centuries, but it's never turned into something so... Desperate?" She turned to Feyre. "What do you think?"

Feyre inconspicuously peeked behind me, too. "Yeah, definitely desperate. And sad. Rhys said that lately he isn't himself. As if something was wrong with him? Maybe bothered him? But he won't talk about it."

Mor nodded. I had the urge to turn around and see for myself, but I resisted.

"What happened?" Mor asked and Feyre leaned closer, eager for details.

"Well, he kind of misunderstood the situation.. and I told him.. that I don't do the one night stay thing.."

"He actually went after you?" Mor beamed lowering her voice.

"Not really. I might have provoked him a bit," I reluctantly admitted.

They giggled like small girls, looking at each other.

"Y/N, believe me when I tell you that you can't provoke him," Mor whispered enthusiastically. "Nobody is able to break him. He is like.. granite."

"There must be something more behind it," Feyre added. "You should go and talk to him."

"You should," Mor agreed. "He looks to be on the verge of total breakdown." She again peeked behind me. "Go. Right. Now."

They both gave me nod, stood up and moved to another chat group. I stayed alone, just like Azriel who sat in an alcove with window behind me. I inhaled deeply, slowly breathing out. I could at least give it a try. Standing up I took my glass and walked to him.

"Hey."

"Hey," he answered lowly. I hardly heard him. His face was as unreadable as usually, but his impossibly beautiful hazel eyes.. Yeah, they were right. He looked to be on verge of breakdown. Even his posture was all wrong. Slumped shoulders, hunched over, wings hanging down. The shadows hoovered around him like embodiment of his current mood.

"Everything alright?"

He nodded looking away. Ouch. He didn't want to talk with me. I probably hurt his ego more than I thought. I was lost for words. Did he expect me to apologise? I certainly wouldn't do that. I had every right to stop him back then.

Oh, male and their ego. Suddenly memories of my ex flooded my mind. And I got mad. Rage was the only emotion that never disappeared completely nor healed.

I turned around, ready to leave before I could take it out on the wrong person. Strong fingers wrapped around my arm, stopping me. They held me gently, but firmly. I looked back at Azriel and all the rage was gone instantly.

"Would you mind to it down with me?"

I couldn't speak, still shocked by the pain in his eyes. Just when I was seated in the alcove, he released me and sat back down, too. Silence stretched between us.

"I meant to say this much sooner," he started slowly. "I'm so sorry for my poor behaviour. I'm so ashamed." My fingers curled into fist, but I didn't dare to interrupt him. "I know you were just joking to make me feel better, to relax. I knew it even back then. I wish I could explain why I did it, but I can't. I was.. dick."

And how big dick. I had to bite down on my lip to stop myself. This was serious situation. But in all seriousness, he broke the records. Nobody had bigger than him.

"I should have covered with towel as you asked me. I shouldn't have stopped you. I shouldn't have kissed you," he whispered the last sentence. "I should even be sorry that I kissed you, but I am not. I wanted it. Really wanted. Still want it. I'm trash." He stood up quickly. I managed to pull him back down before he could run away. My pulse skyrocketed.

Waitwaitwait. Had he just said that he still wanted to kiss me? My rational part demanded answers. I had to solve this question before my reckless heart could come to own conclusion. I didn't need another heartbreak.

I looked deep into his eyes. I looked only for truth and nothing else. "Tell me, Az, why? Why do you still want it?"

He blushed fiercely and tried to look away, but I wouldn't let him. "Please."

"I..love you," he whispered and my heart stopped for second only to start racing at a crazy pace later.

I wasn't sure he really said that. That must be just my imagination, right? I gazed at beautiful, elegant Elain with big doe eyes sitting on the other side of room, laughing with her sisters. Yeah, I imagined it. But when my eyes slid back to him, he was gazing right back, tensed, waiting.

"I'm sorry. I think I misheard," I smiled nervously.

"I said.. I love you," Azriel repeated quietly, but clearly.

A single tear rolled down my cheek. I didn't think. I couldn't. I just surged forward and hugged him. He stiffened for a heartbeat and then his strong arms wrapped around me and held me firmly. Another tear followed the first one and then another, until it turned into an endless stream. I felt a cool touch of his shadows. They hid us from prying eyes. Or so I thought.

World tilted to the side and we were in my office where it all had started.

"More private," Azriel whispered when I released him to take a look around, confused.

I quickly wiped tears away. "Oh." I still wasn't ready to talk. My head was a total mess. Love. Azriel just told me he loved me. And he was still waiting for my answer. But I wasn't currently able to put the words together to make even a simple sentence.

"Do you need water?" he offered, helping me to sit to an armchair, the very same armchair where he.. Nope, I couldn't think about it now. It would be too much.

What was the question? Ah, water.. Did I need it? I nodded anyway and he handed me a glass. I emptied it immediately.

Azriel watched me carefully as if I could explode any second. I was trying to find something to ground me and my eyes fell to the notebook. "Wingspan," I blurted. His brows furrowed. "You have the largest wingspan."

He huffed in amusement. "Do I?" Azriel took a step back, his eyes were sad again.

Maybe I was crazy, but I reached out and pulled him down on me. "I believe I still haven't repaid for your help."

He shook his head. " You don't have to-"

"I want." I cupped his cheeks between my hands. He hesitated searching my face, his body tensed above me.

Azriel slowly leaned down and kissed me. It was nothing like the last kiss driven by lust and desire. This kiss was careful, exploring. I pushed against his shoulder and we exchanged our positions.

Just like the last time, Azriel was sitting in the armchair and I was above him. I made sure there was space between us. I didn't want to provoke him, sex was out of the question yet. He knew it, too, and kept his hands on my waist.

I deepened the kiss and soon enough we both turned into a panting mess. Azriel's moan startled me.

"I'm sorry," he rasped.

I giggled. "You moaned back then, too."

"I can't help it," he smiled. Azriel leaned forward, keeping small space between us. He hid his face in the crook of my neck, inhaling deeply again and again. "Touch them."

I swallowed. "What?"

"You can touch them," he spread his wings wide around us. "I've never allowed anybody to touch them. But now I want you to do so."

I was speechless second time today. Sacred Illyrian wings and he asked me to touch them. This was Illyrian way to say he trusted me. He trusted me even with his life.

I ran my fingers through his soft hair. "You know that.. there will be no sex today nor any time soon.." I hoped it came out as a joke. Truthful, but still joke.

He laughed breathlessly. "I know. That doesn't change the fact I want you to touch them. You said you want to repay me. So please.." He kissed the sensitive spot under my ear.

He got me there. If he only knew what he had called upon himself. I wanted to touch them, badly, but not only because they were his. I wanted it because I was the damn researcher which equals to a monster at times. I longed to feel the texture of the skin, to feel every single bone and muscle in them, everything.

"Are you really sure about this?" My attention was already trained on the beautiful enormous wings around me. This was his last chance to back out of this.

"Absolutely. So put those damn little hands of yours on them already," he rasped, landing another kiss to that sensitive spot.

He didn't need to repeat it again.

I gasped as tips of my fingers traced the soft skin around the bone. It. Was. Perfect. I expected them to be cold and rough to touch. Even though I touched him just lightly, I could feel every single muscle, even the smallest ones. The bone seemed to be so fragile and strong at the same time. Skin was so warm, stretchy and impossibly soft like baby's skin. I mapped every vein running through the membranes, his pulse drumming under my hands. I traced every scarred tissue I found, paying it extra attention.

I was so immersed into exploring his wings that I hadn't noticed what my curiosity did to Azriel until he came under me with a wall shattering roar. I winced, looking down at him.

His head was tilted back, eyes closed tightly. He was trembling and panting, his broad chest heaving heavily. Streams of sweat were running down the column of his exposed neck. His hands were fisting the material of armrests so tightly he almost torn it into shreds.

I couldn't believe I'd missed something so..amazing. Azriel was a piece of art in every possible meaning. My fingers traced the vein that bobbed out on his neck. He shuddered, his eyes slowly opened, looking up at me. Shadowsinger smiled weakly. "Only you can do this to me," his voice was hoarse.

I brushed away a damp strand of hair that fell to his forehead. My heart was beating wildly as I leaned in and kissed him slowly and deeply. His hands embraced me, pulling me closer.

"I love you," I whispered to his mouth.

I wasn't scared anymore. In this very moment I was more confident than ever that I would spend the rest of my life with this perfect male. Because he was mine and I was his.

#english isnt my first language #azriel fanfic #azriel x reader #az x reader #azriel shadowsinger #azriel acotar #azriel angst #azriel #acotar x reader #acotar fanfiction #acotar #sarah j maas

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bloodyjuls-blog · 5 months

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I was so stupid

Leah Williamson X Reader

⚠️ Warning ⚠️: part 2 of goodbye my lover. If you read it you know what I mean in case of not it's just pure angst. This seems to be the light at the end of the tunnel

Lucy POV

I woke up at 5 in the morning because I had to go to training at 8, I looked at my phone and realized that y/n had called me 3 times. I was quite worried because I was the only person (Ona too, but not at the same level of intensity) who had been with her in those difficult moments such as a divorce and the separation from her son. Little Sage who is such a sweetheart and Y/n too and now because of Leah's stubbornness they’re not together makes me quite angry.

I decide to call y/n back but she sends me to inbox, so weird. Yesterday I spoke to her and she told me that she was going through a bad time and that the pains in her chest had returned. Knowing that I am in Barcelona and she is in London makes me even more nervous because she could suffer a cardiac arrest and not have anyone to help her with it and now even less cause Leah apparently turned everyone against her. I don't understand.

Leah POV

*Beep beep beep*¨

Who in their right mind calls at 5 am on a Friday. “Hello” I said in a rather sleepy tone. Sage hadn't slept well, I felt him agitated. He always sleeps peacefully. “Hi Leah, I'm Lucy,” she tells me in a worried tone. “What's wrong Lucy? looks at the hours” I said calmly. “It's Y/N, I'm worried because she's been calling me in the early morning and I want to know how yesterday's conversation with her went?” she says worriedly. “Well, the talk has gone well, a bit of a farewell tone, but very normal. She also called me this morning too, although she seemed like drunk or drugged, her voice sounded very weird,” she says in a stern voice. “No Leah, how can you think that, she is doing those things that are on TV or in the gossip magazines. She is like this because the divorce and now you have left her without a job. Are you stupid or what?” Lucy says super angry. “Oi, calm down or I'll hang up on you, these are not the hours to argue, girl” I say calmly. “Leah, for God's sake, y/n could have suffered a cardiac arrest and you didn't even realize it, did your new girlfriend whitewash everything you felt for y/n? Have you realized how bad she has had it since she was kicked out of the club because of you and since it wasn't enough for you, you kicked her out of the house without even being able to take a jacket and her wallet, having to listen to her at 3 in the morning heartbroken because she doesn't know what she was going to do without you, you know that she has been living in a seedy hotel for 3 months since you kicked her out of the house? The sad nights when she misses her baby?…" Lucy says very seriously. "I'm sorry Lucy, I didn't know anything about that, I've been very selfish, but it all came down to me anyway, the absence, the times she ignored my presence and focused only on Sage, I've also missed her a lot, Lucy". I say in a worried tone. “Leah, I need you to go to The White Heart Hotel, which is 8 minutes from your house, ask the front desk for room 203 and make sure y/n is okay. Please". She says in a tone that I can't understand. "Okay, I’ll go now I’ll text you later" I say, worried but willing to collaborate.

"God y/n, I hope you're okay, damn it, why I didn’t pay you more attention, if something happens to you, I won't forgive myself" I say to myself.

Once I arrive at the hotel, which looks very seedy.

“Hello,” I ask at the reception, a little agitated. "Hello Miss. How can we help you,” the girl tells me without flinching. “Mmm yes, I'm coming to visit my friend y/n who is staying in room 203” I say nervously. “Miss Leah, I'm afraid that the guest Y/n was taken away by the ambulance a couple of hours ago, due to some cardiac incident, the poor girl was so young and had no one to help her at that time if not for the waiter who heard some noises, it's most likely that right now that girl was dead," the girl says sadly. "Excuse me? But she was fine yesterday when I saw her.” “Miss, I recommend you to go to the hospital where the ambulance took you and ask the corresponding questions there,” she says calmly. “Yes, of course, thank you very much anyway,” I say with a little emotion. “My poor y/n, how is this possible?” I sit in the car and tears come out of my eyes, I feel like the guiltiest person in the world. Instead of listening to her and being with her, the first thing I did is abandon her to her fate and if that's not enough, mess with someone who no matter how good person she is, is not y/n. The mother of my son, the love of my life. How stupid I am for God's sake.

Once at the entrance to the emergency room.

I get out of the car and look in the trunk for a facemask. “Damn, I had a box stored here” I say to myself, exasperated as I search through everything. “Here you are” I say, taking the mask under a pile of documents.

At reception

“Good morning miss, can I help you with something?” The nurse at the reception tells me. “Hey, a couple of hours ago an ambulance brought y/n Y/l/n here and I came to ask how she is” I say nervously. “Are you related to her?” she asks me, looking directly at the computer. “I'm her wife, Leah” I say, already stressed from so many questions. “I understand, at this moment, y/n is undergoing surgery due to a heart failure, if you wish you can wait in the coronary surgery waiting room on the 3rd floor and once the operation is finished a doctor will speak with you directly” she tells me. “Damn, well thanks, in the third one did you say?” I say worried. "Yeah".

It's been three hours since I've been here and the only thing that has changed is that a cardiologist has come to tell me that they are having complications with Y/N, and that her prognosis is reserved, that we have to wait and see how the surgery progresses.

Flashback

“Family of y/n y/l/n” a doctor comes out with a worried look. "Me, doctor, I am her wife, Leah Williamson" I say in a broken tone. “Well, Mrs. Leah, I will be very honest with you, at this moment we are performing a pericardiocentesis on Mrs. Y/n because after the cardiorespiratory arrest she suffered in the early hours of the morning we realized that she had cardiac clog, we have done this procedure several times because the patient keeps coming to a standstill and doesn´t come back. I would like you to notify her other relatives just in case. It should be said that the prognosis is reserved and her evolution will determine if the heart does not clog again, for now I will do everything in my power so that the lady does not die,” he says seriously. While he says that I try to process everything. There are possibilities that my love won’t make it and die, I must tell Lucia.

“Lucy, y/n she is dying, she has suffered several cardiac arrests since this morning and is in surgery she’s not recovering” I say between tears and sadness on the call. “Leah, don't be pessimistic. Ona and I will take the first flight there is to London, we will be with you” she says crying. I'm glad Lucy cares about y/n, they're like sisters from another mother. I settle into the chair and send a WhatsApp to Sophie.

To Sophie

Hey how are you? Sophie, did you leave Sage with my mother?

*Yes, as you told me. All good? *

No, something has happened, but first I must tell you that I can't take this anymore, you are a wonderful girl but I am not in the best place mentally. Sorry Sophie, it's better to leave things here.

*What a coward you are Leah, not telling me in person. Ok, I hope I never see you again*

A few hours later Dr. Flynn himself comes out.

“Leah, y/n she is out of surgery, her prognosis is still guarded but we believe she will make a successful recovery. What worried us most was that being so young and out of nowhere having these moments of trauma and even more so knowing that she has a healthy and fit life” he says less worried. “What exactly does she have? Will she be able to continue playing football? What will the recovery be like?” I said a mile an hour. “Miss, slow down please. Miss y/n will be in the coronary ICU for a while due to the sedation we gave her. What we watched in the echocardiogram, in the blood tests and the chest x-ray is an irregularity in her pericardium hence the surgery, but them also show cardiac arrhythmias which means that she won’t be able to practice any high impact sport, as Upon her recovery, her evolution will be marked by how her heart accepts the changes. Most likely, she will always have to carry oxygen and in the future we can consider the use of a pacemaker to help detect any irregularity. “I understand, can I see it?” I say a little more relaxed. “Of course, come with me here…”

To be continued

#woso #fc barcelona femeni #lionesses #woso x reader #woso imagines #woso imagine #england lionesses #leah williamson x reader #leah williamson imagine #leah williamson

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fatecantstopme · 10 months

Text

From Past to Future

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Summary: After you and Bucky break up, you end up engaged to Steve. What happens when Bucky comes back into your life two years later?

Warnings: So much angst. Cheating, cursing, use of pet names. Some fluff. SMUT, unprotected sex (P in V), slight choking, metal arm kink (choking kink)

Two Years Ago

"Why are you always pushing me away?"

"It's better for you," he said calmly.

"Who are you to decide what's best for me?"

"I know myself better than anyone...I know my past. I know what kind of monster lives inside of me, so if anyone is equipped to decide you're better off without me, it's me."

"Don't I get a say in this?"

"No."

Anger threatened to bubble over. "I can't live like this, James. I can't. I would do anything for you, but I can't make you see that I can handle everything about you, including your past. I'm not afraid of you, but I'm afraid I'm going to lose myself if I keep fighting you like this."

He nodded slowly. "It's better this way."

"How can you be so calm?" you yelled. "Do I really mean so little to you? Did the past year mean nothing?"

He had the decency to look ashamed. "You mean everything to me, that's why I have to let you go."

Tears streamed down your face, a mixture of rage and pain clouding your features. "That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard."

He simply shrugged.

You hastily grabbed your jacket, keys, and purse before heading towards the door. You turned back to look at him one last time. "I hope you heal, Bucky, I really do. But I won't be around to see it."

You turned and left the apartment, shutting the door behind you. It felt final, as if you'd just shut the door on your old life. You'd left a piece of your soul in that apartment, a piece you prayed you could learn to live without.

**********

One Year Ago

"You are such a dork."

He grinned ear to ear with pride. "That could be the nicest thing you've ever said to me."

You laughed warmly and rolled your eyes. "What are you talking about? I'm always nice to you."

He raised his eyebrow teasingly.

"Alright, alright. I'm mostly nice to you."

He chuckled and tugged you against his chest. "I'll take it."

You giggled as you leaned back against him, gaze wandering out towards the ocean and the beautiful sunset beyond it. "Have you ever seen anything so beautiful?"

"Every morning."

You looked up at him in confusion.

"I'm blessed to wake up beside the most beautiful woman in the world every day," he said almost reverently.

Your expression softened and you turned to face him, putting your back against the balcony railing. You reached up and caressed his face, eyes shining with emotion. "Steve..." you whispered.

He placed a single finger to your lips to silence whatever you were about to say. He ducked his head to kiss you and you sighed as you melted into him.

After a few moments, he took your hand and guided you back through the open door and into the bedroom.

"I love you," he murmured against your skin as he laid you down on the soft bed.

"I love you too," you said softly, before you got lost in each other for hours.

**********

Two Months Ago

"Seriously? The wedding is in three months!" you yelled into your phone.

Your best friend, Natasha, came into the room when she heard you yell. "What's wrong?" she mouthed at you.

"Well the dress is pretty damn important, don't you think?" you seethed.

Natasha's eyes widened. "What's wrong with the dress?" she asked aloud.

You pulled the phone away from your face. "The tailor lost it."

"What the hell do you mean they lost it?"

You put the phone on speaker so Nat could hear. The man on the other end of the phone was explaining some sort of snafu with the dress and the shop moving locations.

Nat took the phone from your hand. "Let me handle this, okay?"

You sighed and nodded, grateful that she was there to take care of at least some of the wedding issues. Steve had been traveling a lot for work, so the wedding planning had fallen almost exclusively on you. If it hadn't been for Natasha, you were pretty certain you would have lost your mind.

The doorbell rang, bringing you out of your thoughts. You weren't expecting anyone, but you'd been getting a lot of deliveries lately thanks to the upcoming wedding.

You opened the door without checking to see who it was and the moment your eyes focused on the person standing on the porch, you found yourself wishing you'd looked first.

"Hey, (Y/N)."

"What are you doing here?" You winced slightly, the sound of your voice a bit harsher than you'd intended.

"I deserve that," he admitted softly. "I, um...well I heard you were getting married."

You stared at him in shock. "I'm sorry...you heard I was getting married, so you decided it would be a good idea to pay me a visit?"

He looked uncomfortable. "Yeah, well--umm, when you put it like that, it doesn't sound so good."

"You think?"

Once again, the harshness of your voice made you feel terrible. You knew exactly why you were being rude, but you couldn't bear to admit it to yourself. You hadn't expected to see him again, and certainly not like this. What was worse was you hadn't expected to feel like this when you did. Your palms were sweaty, your heart was racing, butterflies danced a merry jig in your stomach...you hated yourself for the emotions that washed over you at the mere sight of him. Hating him too made it that much easier.

"I just, I guess I just wanted to see how you were doing," he mumbled.

"I'm happy, thanks for asking. You can go now."

"(Y/N)..."

"No," you snapped. "No. Don't say my name like that. Don't you dare."

He looked down at the ground and muttered, "I'm sorry."

When you didn't say anything, he looked back up at you.

"I'm sorry, (Y/N). For all of it." His words began to come out in a rush, as if he was hoping you wouldn't have time to interrupt him. "You were right. You were right about all of it. I'm sorry I pushed you away. I'm sorry I hurt you. I thought I was doing the right thing, but I wasn't...and you--you deserve an apology. Even if it's two years too late."

Your heart clenched in your chest and tears pricked at the backs of your eyes. You were struggling to find the words to say, to fight through the storm of emotions swirling around you, when Nat came to your rescue.

She appeared beside you, took one look at the man standing on your porch, and said, "I don't know what the hell you're doing here, James, but you need to leave. You have no place in her life anymore...not after all the pain you caused her."

Bucky's blue eyes darkened with sadness. "I know," he said softly. "I just wanted to apologize...and say goodbye."

He turned and began to walk down the stairs. You watched him make his way to his bike before you ran down the steps after him. "Bucky!"

He turned to look at you in surprise. You'd stopped at the bottom of the steps, but he could see the emotion on your face as clearly as if you were an inch from him.

"I forgive you," you whispered so softly he almost missed it. If he hadn't been a super soldier, there was no way he would have heard you.

He nodded his acceptance--his gratefulness--before getting on his motorcycle and driving away.

"You okay?" Nat asked softly as she reached the bottom of the steps.

"Yeah," you lied.

She knew you well enough to recognize the lie, but she also knew better than to push you. When it came to Bucky, you'd always been vulnerable. You'd loved him with everything you had--a kind of fierceness she'd never seen before or since. She'd hoped Steve would change that...that loving him would help you forget Bucky, but when she looked at your face in that moment, she knew you'd never stop loving him.

**********

Present

"I'm getting married in a couple weeks," you said with a sigh. "Can you even believe it?"

"Yeah, babe, I can believe it," Natasha teased. "How excited are you?"

For the first time, you were grateful she wasn't there with you. "I can't wait," you lied. You hoped your voice conveyed excitement, even though your face did not.

"Are you sure you're alright?" Nat asked for the third time in your 20 minute conversation.

You groaned into the phone. "Nat, I'm fine. Now can you stop worrying about me and go enjoy your vacation?"

"It's not as fun without you here," she pouted.

You laughed. "I know, I know. I'm the life of the party."

She laughed too. "I miss you and I'll be home in a couple days."

"Miss you too. Give my love to Bruce."

"I will. Love you."

"Love you too."

You hung up the phone and leaned your head back against the sofa. You hadn't felt right in weeks...not since Bucky Barnes had shown up unannounced on your front porch.

You hated how he made you feel...hated that even after everything, you still loved him. You were engaged to be married to another man for God's sake, but here you were crying on your couch over a relationship that died two years prior.

You hadn't mentioned anything about Bucky's sudden appearance to Steve. You didn't want to upset him...or at least that's what you told yourself. Seeing him had brought back years of emotions you'd buried long before. You didn't think you could explain any of it to Steve without him realizing what you'd been denying for two years: you still loved Bucky.

You'd managed to convince yourself that it was okay to love two people at once...because you did love Steve. You really did. But you would be lying to yourself if you said you loved him more than Bucky. You were grateful you didn't have to choose between the two. You were marrying Steve and that's the way it needed to be. Steve loved you so much and he treated you like a queen. How could you want anything else?

A knock on your door brought you out of your thoughts. At least this time you were expecting a delivery, so you didn't think twice as you opened the door.

"Bucky..." you whispered.

He was standing there, flowers in hand, blue eyes warm and gentle.

"What are you doing here?" you asked softly.

"I needed to see you."

"Bucky, you can't be here."

"Please, (Y/N). Can we just talk?"

"I'm getting married," you said, less firmly than you'd intended.

"I know, doll. That's why I need to talk to you."

Against your better judgment, you turned to the side, allowing him entry.

He stepped past you into the foyer and handed you the flowers. "Um, these are for you."

"Thank you," you said softly. "I'll just...get a vase."

He followed you into the kitchen. "Your home is beautiful."

"Thanks."

He stood awkwardly on the other side of your kitchen island, hands at his sides as if he wasn't sure what he should do with them.

"So...what did you wanna talk about?"

"Us."

"Bucky, we can't--"

"Just let me get this out," he begged. "If you hate what I have to say, you can throw me out...but just listen for a moment."

Tears welled in your eyes and every sensible part of you screamed at you to make him leave, but you couldn't force yourself to move--couldn't say a word.

He took your silence as permission to speak. "When we first met, I was a broken shell of the man I used to be. My past was still so fresh in my mind and I hated myself more passionately than any person should. When you came into my life, I desperately wanted to be the man I was before Hydra...but I couldn't. I was scared of hurting you, scared of what I was capable of and what I might do to you if I lost control. So I pushed you away...until you finally got tired of it. I don't think I'd ever had a broken heart before that day."

Tears streamed steadily down your face as you listened to him speak. You were still frozen in place, his words gluing your feet to the floor.

"It took me a while to realize I could never be that man again...that young, carefree, charming guy. I figured if I couldn't be him, then I was just the monster Hydra made me. All that was left was the Winter Soldier." He paused for a moment. "I didn't want to be him, but it wasn't until I was in Wakanda that things really changed...I changed."

"You were in Wakanda?" you asked softly.

He nodded. "For a while, yeah. I dealt with a lot of my issues and I don't have to fear the trigger words anymore...they have no effect on me. But it wasn't until I received my pardon that I started going to therapy. At first it was because I had to, but after a while, I wanted to go...it was helping me in ways I didn't know I needed. I'm not the person I was before Hydra, but I'm not the Winter Soldier either. I'm just a different version of me...but at the end of the day, I'm still Bucky."

"I'm glad you got the help you needed, Buck. I truly am," you said softly. "But what does any of this have to do with me?"

"I'm getting to that," he answered quickly. "Losing you hurt me infinitely more than I expected it to and at first I wanted to get help so maybe you would want me..." he trailed off for a moment. "I eventually realized I needed to change for myself, not for you. I'm by no means perfect, but I am comfortable with who I am now."

He sighed and ran his hands through his hair. "Look, I know my timing is terrible, but I need to say this or I'm going to regret it for the rest of my unnaturally long life." He took a deep breath before continuing, "I fell in love with you the moment I met you. I loved you every day of our relationship and every day since--I've never stopped loving you. I don't think I can--and trust me, I've tried. You've held my heart in the palm of your hand since we first met..."

Bucky took a step towards you, then another, then another, until he was mere inches from you. "You are my heart, (Y/N), and I don't want it back."

"What do you want, Bucky?" you whispered.

"You," he said simply. "You're all I've ever wanted."

You should have pushed him away. You should have told him to leave. Hell, you should have left...but you didn't do any of those things. You didn't pull away when he reached out to wipe your tears from your cheeks. You didn't stop him when he cupped your face in his hands. And you didn't fight him when he pressed his lips against yours.

Instead, you pulled him closer to you as you returned the kiss--the feeling of his lips igniting a fire deep inside you that you'd never felt with anyone else.

What began as a loving kiss, quickly turned to pure desire, a passion so explosive it couldn't be contained. You practically tore each other's clothes off, leaving a trail of clothing from the kitchen to your bedroom.

A tiny voice in the back of your mind told you this was wrong...that you should stop...but you ignored it. Soon, all coherent thoughts slipped from your mind, replaced by overwhelming pleasure.

Sex with Bucky had always been incredible, but this was so far beyond every encounter you'd ever had before. He was comfortable, confident, and so sure of himself--it was the sexiest thing you'd ever seen.

"Bucky," you gasped as he finally entered you after relentlessly teasing you with his mouth, pulling orgasm after orgasm from your body.

"Fuck," he grunted. "I forgot how good you felt."

"So big," you whispered.

He grinned. "Yeah? Well this pussy was made for me, baby. I could stay here forever."

You'd be lying if you said that didn't sound like heaven to you. He felt so incredible...every sensation felt heightened in a way you hadn't felt in years.

His cock brushed against your g-spot with each thrust, turning you into a moaning mess beneath him. "Shit, doll...you gotta stop squeezing me like that or I'm not gonna last."

You'd long since lost control of your body--it was acting entirely of its own volition by this point. All you could do was moan and gasp and dig your nails into his back as he plunged into you again.

Back when you'd first started dating, you'd told Bucky you wanted him to choke you with his metal hand during sex, something he'd vehemently refused to do. He'd been terrified of hurting you, but now as he looked down at you, he found himself wanting to try it.

He gently placed his left hand against the column of your throat, putting only enough pressure for you to know what he was doing. Your eyes widened before rolling back, a moan of need breaking free from your lips.

"You like that, doll?" he whispered.

You nodded rapidly.

He smiled and gave the tiniest squeeze to your throat. You gasped loudly and your nails dug into the flesh of his right bicep. He continued to fuck you as fast and hard as he could, left hand never leaving your throat.

He could tell you were close, but he didn't want you to cum until he did, so he waited until the very last moment before giving your throat another small squeeze. You screamed his name as you came, your orgasm triggering his own. He called out your name as he filled you with his seed, hand slipping from your neck to caress your face.

Bucky's stamina was truly a thing to behold even now. He hovered over you, lips pressed against yours in a heated kiss. Somehow, his cock was still hard, despite having just had the best orgasm in years. Instead of pulling out of you, he began to move again, your shared releases mixing together to provide extra lubricant.

"Bucky," you moaned softly. "What--"

"You didn't really think I was done with you yet, did you doll?"

The sensations began as almost painful, the sensitivity making it hard to enjoy. Within moments though, those sensations turned to pleasure and the need began to pool in your belly again.

"Do you want me to stop?" he asked teasingly.

"Don't you dare."

He chuckled darkly and sped up his movements, earning a pleased moan from you.

The two of you were so lost in passion and pleasure, neither of you heard the front door open. Even Bucky missed the telltale signs of someone walking through the house towards the bedroom door.

"What the hell is going on here?"

The sound of your fiancé's voice brought you suddenly back to reality. You wanted to sink into the floor and never come back out.

Bucky's first instinct was to protect you, but when he turned his head to look at the newcomer, he felt nothing but shame.

"Bucky?" Steve said in shock.

"I can explain..." Bucky began as he removed himself from the bed, grabbing a blanket to cover himself with.

You sat up, clutching the sheet to your chest, eyes wide as you stared at Steve. "Steve..."

"Don't," he snapped. "Don't you dare try to talk your way out of this, (Y/N)."

"It wasn't her fault--" Bucky tried.

"Save it. I know you were pissed at me for dating her after you broke up, so maybe I deserved the revenge," Steve said angrily. He turned his gaze back to you, hurt filling his beautiful blue eyes. "But you? I've done nothing but love you. I treated you the way you deserved to be treated...I did everything right."

"Steve, I'm so sorry," you whispered.

"That doesn't change anything." He turned to walk away and you jumped up to follow him, grabbing your robe on your way out.

"Steve, wait--"

"What do you think you could possibly say to fix this, (Y/N)?" he yelled.

You took a step back in shock. Steve never yelled. Ever. "I don't...I don't know..."

"Exactly." Tears pressed against the backs of his eyes and his voice was shaky. "It's over, (Y/N). I'm done."

You hadn't expected him to say anything differently, but it still hurt to hear it. You looked down at your left hand and saw the diamond ring he'd given you. You didn't cry as you slid it off your finger and handed it to him...nor did you cry as you watched him walk out the door and out of your life.

A few moments later, Bucky appeared behind you fully dressed. "(Y/N)..." he began.

You held up your hand to silence him. "Don't--just don't." You stared at the door your fiancé--ex-finacé--had just walked through. "I can't believe I ever thought I was a good person," you whispered.

"You are a good person," Bucky countered, taking a step towards you.

"Please just leave."

"(Y/N)..."

"Just go. I can't even bear to look at you right now."

Bucky knew better than to argue. He loved you more than anything, but he knew he'd made a mistake. He never intended to sleep with you...it just happened.

He shrugged his jacket on and walked out the door, leaving you on the other side of it. Your life had been shattered into pieces because of a choice you'd made...you and Bucky.

**********

"You did WHAT?!" Natasha yelled.

You'd called her a few minutes after Bucky had left to tell her what happened. "I slept with Bucky," you repeated.

"What in God's name were you thinking?"

"I wasn't," you whispered.

"Jesus, (Y/N/N)," she sighed. "Are you okay?"

"No."

"What are you going to do?"

"I have no idea. I managed to blow up my life in a single afternoon."

"It's not that bad, okay? We'll figure it out. Just...don't tell Steve."

"Too late."

"What?"

"He walked in on us."

"WHAT?"

You made the sound of an explosion, complete with hand movements she couldn't see.

"Okay, don't do anything crazy. I'll be home in a couple hours."

"Nat, don't cut your vacation short because of me."

"It's one day, (Y/N). Besides, you need me."

You wanted to deny it, but you really did need her. "Thanks," you whispered.

"You're welcome. I'll see you in a few hours."

**********

Two weeks had gone by since you'd slept with Bucky and broken up with Steve. Natasha had stayed with you for the first week...you were much too upset to be left alone.

You spent the second week by yourself...you needed the time alone to figure things out. Natasha had been helpful, but she'd also been upset with you for ruining things with Steve over Bucky. She'd always hated that he broke your heart.

As much as you loved Natasha, you knew you needed advice from someone else. You wanted to believe everything Bucky had told you, but you were too jaded to believe him without proof.

Steve was Bucky's best friend before the two of you had started dating and they really hadn't talked since. Bucky became closer to Sam Wilson over time and you knew they were best friends now. You decided Sam was the person you needed to talk to, so you called him up and asked him to meet you for lunch.

Sam hadn't been surprised when you'd called him...Bucky had told him everything that had happened. What did surprise him was that you wanted to meet up to talk.

He contemplated calling Bucky to tell him, but he decided it would probably be better to talk to you first. So he got himself together and went out to meet you for lunch.

You were already seated at a table in the back of the restaurant when Sam walked in. You waved him over and he took a seat across from you.

"Hey, (Y/N). How are you?" Sam asked as he sat down.

"Honestly, Sam, I've been better."

He was a little surprised by your candidness, and he wasn't sure if he should play dumb or admit Bucky had talked to him already. He opted for something in the middle of the two, "Bucky mentioned he went to see you a couple weeks ago."

"Did he say anything else?" you asked uncomfortably.

Sam knew better than to try and verbally lie to you, so he simply shook his head.

"He may have left some things out," you said softly. "Steve and I broke up."

Sam's eyes widened. He did his best to act surprised as he asked, "Why? What happened?"

"Bucky happened," you said honestly.

"What do you mean?"

You closed your eyes for a second...not quite ready to admit you'd done something terrible. "He shows up back in my life after two years and says a bunch of shit that I don't know what to do with. Who does he think he is? I was happy, Sam. I was getting married in a couple weeks!"

Sam sighed. "I know, (Y/N)...and I've known you for a long time, so I'm just going to say this: you were content with Steve. He never rocked the boat, never challenged you or upset you, never did anything to hurt you--but he also never made you laugh so hard you couldn't breathe, he never made you smile so wide your face hurt, and I know for a fact he never loved you the way Bucky does."

You stared at your friend in silence. You knew Bucky had loved you two years before and he'd professed his love to you mere weeks ago...what you'd spent two years denying to everyone including yourself, was how you felt about Bucky. You'd never loved anyone the way you loved him and as much as you cared for Steve, it never came close to how you felt about Bucky.

"It's okay to admit you still love him," Sam said gently.

"Is he different, Sam? I mean really, truly different? Because I can't--" you took a shaky breath. "I can't go through that again."

Sam shook his head. "He's not the same man he was before. You know how I felt about him when we first met...we didn't become friends just to fill some kind of void in our lives. I love the guy like a brother, but I would never lie to you (Y/N). You're family too."

You swallowed thickly. "Natasha says I should move on."

Sam waved his hand dismissively. "Natasha doesn't know Bucky like I do. She knew him before...she has no idea who he is now."

"I know," you whispered. "That's why I wanted to talk to you."

Sam cocked his head to the side. "You wanted to know if Bucky had really changed."

You nodded.

"Because you still love him."

"I never stopped," you admitted.

Sam offered you a gentle smile. "You should tell him that."

Your eyes were teary as you looked up at your friend. "I know."

**********

Two days later, you were standing on the front steps of Bucky's apartment. Your stomach was filled with butterflies and you were quite certain you were moments away from throwing up. You couldn't remember the last time you'd felt this anxious.

Your decision to come here had been spur of the moment and you suddenly regretted that decision. You'd hit the buzzer for Bucky's apartment, but no one responded. Like an idiot, you hadn't even bothered to check if he was home before coming all the way over there.

You turned around to leave, feeling like a fool, when you heard the door open behind you and a voice call your name. When you turned back around, Bucky was standing in the threshold, looking at you in surprise.

"Oh, I umm--I thought you weren't home."

He gestured to the call box. "The damn speaker is broken again, so you couldn't hear my response. I woulda buzzed you up, but that's also not working right..."

"Oh."

"Yeah," he mumbled. "So...what brings you by?"

You were one hundred percent certain he could hear your heart beating even without his super hearing and your breathing had become obviously shallow. You felt like an absolute moron standing on his front stoop, staring at him in silence. He was beautiful and it always took your breath away...even now.

"I thought we should talk," you blurted.

Bucky looked slightly surprised, but he nodded in agreement. "Why don't you come inside?" He turned to go back through the door.

When you made no move to follow him, he stopped and said, "Or we can just stand out here..."

You shook your head, partially in response to his statement and partially to clear your head. You didn't say anything, but you took a step towards him, so he turned to guide you up to his apartment.

"Sorry about all the stairs. I like being up higher."

"It's fine."

Once inside his apartment, he gestured for you to have a seat before heading into the kitchen. "Can I get you anything? Maybe something to drink?"

You'd never felt so awkward in your entire life and you knew you weren't going to be able to say anything you wanted to like this. "Do you have whiskey?"

Bucky chuckled lightly. "Always. On the rocks?"

"Is there any other way?"

He laughed. "Touché."

He brought you the drink and sat down on the couch across from you with his own. "Please sit, (Y/N)."

You didn't want to be any weirder than you already were, so you took a seat on the chair beside you. You took a long drink from your glass, almost draining it.

"Should I have made it a double?" he teased lightly.

You looked down at your glass in embarrassment. "Sorry, I'm just--nervous, I guess."

"No need to apologize," he said gently. "And no need to be nervous."

You laughed breathily. "I think I'll have to disagree on that one." You downed the rest of your drink and sat the glass on the table in front of you.

"Would you like another one?"

"No--I uhh, I think one will be enough."

He nodded. "So...what did you wanna talk about?"

The speed with which you'd ingested the whiskey ensured you felt it almost immediately. You took a deep breath, allowing the liquor to calm your nerves. "I wanted to talk about what happened."

"When?"

Your eyes snapped up to his. "Seriously?"

"Ahh...so this is about the other day."

"Yeah, Bucky, it's about the other day. Ya know, when I cheated on my fiancé with you and broke his heart? That day."

"His heart? Not yours?"

You didn't appreciate the tone in his voice, so you snapped, "No, you managed to do that all on your own."

He sighed and sat his drink down. "That was two years ago, (Y/N)."

"Doesn't mean it doesn't still hurt."

"I know, and I'm sorry. Hurting you was never what I wanted. But we needed to be apart and the only way that was going to happen was if I hurt you. You just wouldn't leave," he finished softly.

"Because I loved you, Bucky! Is that really so terrible?"

"No, of course not. But I never would have gotten the help I needed if you hadn't left me...if I didn't have a reason to get better."

"I wasn't reason enough?"

"You were my reason and that was the problem. I needed to do it for myself and I couldn't do that if you were there."

You were quiet for a moment. "Leaving you was the hardest thing I ever did, James. I didn't think my heart would ever heal."

"How'd you think I felt when you got together with my best friend?"

You winced. "It just sort of...happened."

He sighed. "I wanted you to be happy and if Steve was the one who made you happy, then I had to accept that. But that's why I left, (Y/N). I couldn't stand to be in the same city as you two anymore. The possibility of running into you was too painful to risk."

"I'm really sorry, Buck. I didn't do it to hurt you."

He looked up at you with soft eyes. "I know that. It's not in your nature, nor is it in Steve's. You can't help who you fall in love with."

"I missed you...so much, and Steve--Steve understood how that felt. Better than anyone."

"Did you love him?"

"Yes."

"Were you really planning on spending the rest of your life with him?"

"Yes."

"If he hadn't caught us...would you still be marrying him?"

"I...I--I couldn't. I can't. It wouldn't be fair to him. Not when I feel--what I feel."

"And what do you feel?" Bucky asked softly.

"Bucky..."

"Please."

You sighed heavily. "When I first got together with Steve, I still loved you more than anything. Over time, I suppressed that love just enough that I could open myself up to loving someone else. After a while...it got easier and easier to pretend I felt nothing at all for you. And then you barged back into my life."

Bucky didn't say a word, too scared to stop the flow of emotions coming from you.

"You barged in and you brought all of those emotions back to the surface. You made me remember everything I'd ever felt for you--and I wanted to hate you for it. I wanted to hate you so badly, but I couldn't. I can't find it in me to hate the person I love the most. I never fell out of love with you, Bucky, I just hid it really well."

He wanted to speak, to say something to acknowledge what you just said, but he couldn't find the words. Instead, he got up and came to stand directly in front of you, before kneeling down and grabbing your hands in his. "I think this is the moment where I'm supposed to say something deep and profound, but all I can think to say is, 'I love you too'."

Tears filled your eyes. "That's more than enough," you whispered.

He pulled himself up slightly so he could reach your face. He gently pulled you down towards him, kissing you with a loving intensity that set your soul aflame.

Loving Bucky Barnes just felt right, as if it was all you were ever meant to do. He was the love your life and being here with him in this moment reminded you of how good it felt to be in the arms of someone you loved with every part of you.

When you'd left Bucky two years ago, you'd left a piece of your soul with him, a piece you'd worried you wouldn't be able to live without. You'd learned how to, but it wasn't the same--you weren't the same.

For the first time in years, you felt whole--complete. If life was a giant puzzle, Bucky was your missing piece. And in the darkness of his bedroom, wrapped in his arms, you made a promise to love him forever--a promise he returned in kind.

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x reader smut #bucky barnes smut #james buchanan barnes #marvel smut

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astrologylunadream · 5 months

Text

Your Crush's Biggest Insecurities💌😰💧 (Pick a card/Tarot love reading)

Hey it's Lunadream🤗 Does your crush have insecurities too? If so what are they? We'll be doing a reading on their biggest insecurities right now💭 hope you find your message🌸

Notice: Only take what resonates because the most important thing is your own judgement!♡ If anything doesn't resonate, don't worry! It's not your message right now <3 (Entertainment purpose only. All rights reserved)

Now, shall we begin~? ^w^ There are 6 piles this time! Think of your crush, and pick whichever pile that fits the energy you're feeling~☁️♥️

Pile 1💮

Pile 2🥀

Pile 3🛁

Pile 4🍰

Pile 5🌪

Pile 6🍷

Take your time and choose carefully with the heart~♡

On to the readings —> ☁️🎲🖤

Pile 1💮

Sign energy: Stress, Early, Intuition, Sidelines, Short-term, North node, Mercury, 7th house, 12th house, Sun, 🎪💣🟫📆

🥀Your person's energy: This is someone you have thought about seriously marrying/committing to pile 1, I see you👀 Now for the overall vibe of your person it's a lot of air energy I'm feeling but also they could have air in their water houses like for instance the 4th/8th/12th houses are all water houses naturally but for your person they could be like gemini/libra/aquarius in those houses in any order too. Virgo is coming through for some of you, I'm getting Libra/Virgo cusp rn. I'm seeing someone who is a heavy over thinker right now they get lost in their mind a lot. Your person is prone to stress and sometimes they just stress themselves out over little things, they even obsess about the dates flying by and have an over emphasis on time. This is someone that has a lot on their plate, but you just want to step in and be their true loving partner🥺❤ You just wanna make their day and help them out a bit, you want to turn their frown upside down I'm hearing haha. This person may have confessed to you recently or perhaps thought about it a LOT. They trust their intuition because they are usually right and they're the type to say "I knew it" and "I'm going with my gut on this one" because they really have a hunch for things sometimes!! This person may not be in your life yet, but they can sense a future with you and they think about you a lot.

💭Their biggest insecurities: Stage, Self reflection, Feminine, Prove, Vulnerable, Mars, Neptune, 5th house, Gemini, Capricorn, 🩰🔙💢👫 Alright my pile 1's, your person is so worried about appearing good enough for you😖💗 They're worried about a future partner or marriage, they may feel like no one could love them or they would screw it up so this makes them very lonely. For some of you I'm getting this person had a past longing for creative expression but it was repressed by others, I'm seeing someone who wasn't necessarily allowed to like feminine things. They have a deep insecurity about displaying their more feminine side (or more nurturing/emotional side) in fear of being taken advantage of or judged for it. Your person is so scared deep down you guys they don't wanna be called weak or stupid for their innermost self😭😭 They're afraid of daydreaming too much and being in their head all the time, and romanticizing a partner and hoping for one makes them feel vulnerable and desperate but like that's just themmm😫😫♡ Pile 1 you have no idea how insecure they are about themselves... they set themselves to be this strong, will powered, bold person who doesn't need affection but they're really just a sweetheart deep down who wants to be seen as delicate too.💓 My heart omg you guys this is so sad... I'm hearing "let me be myself". They want someone who they can show their true colors with, like looking in a mirror with someone who doesn't degrade their true self.

🖤Messages from your person: I've been trying to keep my distance, I don't know you, I want to take you away, You don't need to take care of me, It's not true (Omg they honestly do want to be cared for😟💞) Extra cards: Door, Lesson, Pretty, Phase, Work, Aquarius, Air, Moon, 6th house, 5th house (They're working on showing their hidden side🤍)

Thank you my pile 1's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!❣

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ w ˂ )ɞ♡ If you did be sure to let me know pile 1 with the blossom emoji~💮 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading❤

Pile 2🥀

Sign energy: Career, Exotic, Pink, Last, Fixation, Water, Aries, 5th house, Neptune, Scorpio, 🏃‍♂️🗻❤🩺

🥀Your person's energy: Ohh okay I'm getting Leo, Aries, Pisces, Scorpio all those sort of signs. Your person is probably very fun and distinct from other people, I feel like they just have this look about them. Now this might be someone you're in a love affair with, maybe one of you enjoys flirting with the other. I feel like you may be resisting this person but your heart is saying like "Yes yes yes 👀👄👀" Now anyways I'm seeing this as someone who creeps into your subconscious a lot and you might have wild fantasies about themmm🙈🔥 Keep it low keyyyy it's so obvious lol your person may be from a far away land like a long distance from where you are, idk why but I'm getting rockstar vibes right now so your person could be into rock or punk music.🎸 Their hair is on fleek btw, they have an unnatural color or style most likely too. They make your heart beat so fast, they may like to run in the mornings. You've told yourself they will be your last, and you're heart is focused on them completely.

💭Their biggest insecurities: Mother, Rest, Escape, Bones, Call, Pluto, Cancer, Water, Libra, South node, 🧩✔♒👎 Hmm this is interesting, so I'm getting some serious baggage with your person my pile 2's... this may be a little dark but they might have a deceased parent or their mother could have a burdensome relationship with them. Whatever the case this is something that's weighing their energy a lot right now, so they're kind of at a dark place right now. This could be an tragic event from the past regarding their mother that they're still holding onto, this could be effecting their relationships with others aswell. They want to leave this mind prison they've trapped themselves in and stop dwelling on the past. They feel powerless and their state of mind is greatly imbalanced. They feel like they could have done things differently to change their past, and perhaps made things easier for their mother. I'm getting they may not have one and if for some of you they do, I'm getting they watched their mother deal with hardships while feeling like a helpless burden.😔🌧 They have this deep guilt and regret for not stepping up to help those in need more, and this has led to my pile 2's aswell. They don't want you to suffer like others they have witnessed before, they worry about putting you in a hard situation without knowing how to protect you. They are worried their care won't suffice. Your person wants to provide and protect those in need but they have little faith in themselves to do so.

🖤Messages from your person: Of course, I need someone, You really think I would choose you? I couldn't stop, What if I make a mistake? (They don't want to disappoint you🥺😭😢) Extra cards: Hot, Mars, Fan, Capricorn, Dreams, Taurus, Capricorn, Pisces, (Uh oh my pile 2's your person has some wicked fantasies about you omg they don't wanna get carried away with the passion they feel!!🥵❤)

Thank you my pile 2's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!❣

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ w ˂ )ɞ♡ If you did be sure to let me know pile 2 with the rose emoji~🥀 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading❤

Pile 3🛁

Sign energy: Affection, Angel, Hunger, Escape, Unseen, Jupiter, Neptune, 6th house, Sun, Gemini, 🔒🐈🎲🎰

🥀Your person's energy: Your person is so soft and beautiful omgggg their soul is like a watercolor painting imo so lovely and enchanting🌊♥️ You may feel like they're unreal or like not human they have such a graceful presence, so stunning~ They may have soft Sagittarius + Pisces placements, I'm getting Leo and Gemini for your person, Virgo could be significant aswell. I keep seeing soft baby blue eyes and deep red nails for some pile 3's person, they have really pretty hands. They are known to daydream and space out into their abstract thoughts often, your person may find feline creatures very beautiful and identify with those creatures. They have an angelic voice and mind, you see them as a pure angel <3 They might take risks often despite their soft nature, trying out anything out of their curiosity. I'm hearing "curiosity killed the cat" lol that's them😂 They're such a curious cat about life and the world around them, I feel like they have diverse interests including you~ This might be someone you "crave" in any way whether it's emotionally or physically you just want themm💗💗 You imagine yourself with them often and fantasize about winning their affection and being held by them, it's always on the back of your mind my loveliesss.

💭Their biggest insecurities: Public image, Impulsive, Locked, Remedy, Book, 8th house, 12th house, Fire, Vertex, 5th house, 🙄🩰🖇🔝 Ohh alright we have some interesting things going on my pile 3's so let's see, with the heavy water house energy we're recieving I'm kind of seeing an obsession/addiction they're hiding from you... maybe it's your obsession that they're insecure about, because they feel so important to you and it's like a pressure in a way.. to be everything for you, they don't know if they can keep you🥺 I feel like your person might be afraid of what others think of you two, like they don't want everyone to know how deep things are between you both. You guys may have a mutual obsession with eachother that they're a little shy about, so they are insecure of their intense feelings for you💓 And I'm seeing the fate of you guys' relationship is something they are a little worried about, they feel in the dark about you and them. Your person is insecure about your loyalty aswell, I can see this as a huge concern for some reason. They might have certain ideas of you and assume you won't commit to them like they will.😟 They know you guys are connected and they're so scared of messing things up, my pile 3's your person knows you have eyes for them but they feel pressured to be the one for you <3 You make them feel special and they hold onto that desperately, so they're always nervous about being their best.

🖤Messages from your person: It all matters, Oh my god, This is interesting, I knew you would feel this way, I don't know who I am (Wow you got them thinking😫) Extra cards: Change, Crush, Innovation, Order, Secret admirer, Neptune, Earth, Chiron, 3rd house, Pisces (They're fantasizing of a confession!! Thinking of confessing to my lovely pile 3!!!)

Thank you my pile 3's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!❣

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 3 with the tub emoji~🛁 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading❤

Pile 4🍰

Sign energy: Right, Abundance, Fan, Connection, Sadness, 11th house, Jupiter, Juno, Aries, Water, 😷🔧🧎‍♂️😳

🥀Your person's energy: Alright this is someone you are head over heels for rn, I can really feel this recieving energy from your person like they're in a state of receiving and earning love and admiration. They're very lucky and have many opportunities, this could who fixes things or very helpful. They could be like the term "fixer upper" so maybe they have some flaws or issues but you look past them.💓 For some of you this could be an internet famous person, they don't have much physical contact with you at the moment I'm really getting that honestly. Some of my pile 4's are the type to chat online a lot with them or maybe you often send messages to your person but then one of you stopped for some reason??😦 Many of you are a fan of your person like their personal little supporter🥰🎉 This may be someone with Aquarius/Aries placements, as well as Sagittarius. They have a nice smile and very emotional too, even if they don't seem that way at first. They feel a lot and I'm getting melancholy vibes from your person~ You see them as your ideal partner and you want to date them. Your person can be impatient at times.

💭Their biggest insecurities: Inspiration, Holding back, Earth, Love at first sight, Activity, Gemini, Vertex, Aries, Leo, Aquarius, ☸🎢🧩🌅 Okay your person has a lot they're anxious about rn, they have been keeping things to themselves a little more than they would like. Your person is afraid to lead you on, because they don't want to lead you in the wrong direction like a dead end with you. They don't want any of that so they're holding back their feelings they're stepping back for a while to process everything. Your person's mind rapid right now just thinking about what to do they keep pondering the best decisions because they're so worried about loosing you.😣 It feels like fireworks are going off in their mind just trying to comprehend the situation between you two. They are so confused and they don't know whether to listen to their head or heart!! Rejection is the biggest insecurity for them and they feel as if they're setting themselves up for disaster. There could be a little self sabotage going on with them, I feel like they have no idea what they want and it drives them crazy. It makes them feel worse about themself that they can't make a decision on this. It's killing them that they're so aimless right now, they hate to admit that they have no clue what move to make with you my pile 4's your person is a mess over you😩❤ They're trying to ground themselves and come up with a rational answer for their situation, because they're insecure about their ability to keep this relationship with you.

🖤Messages from your person: You're mine, I care about you, I want to give you cuddles, You're not okay, I'm so frustrated (Omg they're so stuck rn🥺) Extra cards: Rage, Union, Anonymous, Wish, Slow, Gemini, Aries, Virgo, Libra, Juno (They really want this to work!!🤧💖)

Thank you my pile 4's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!❣

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 4 with the cake emoji~🍰 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading❤

Pile 5🌪

Sign energy: One and only, My everything, Kabedon, Mirror, Smile, Chiron, Eros, Jupiter, Lilith, Leo, 🎤💜🗿🍦

🥀Your person's energy: Ayy I'm getting heavy masculine energy with this one, I'm sensing a really attractive person on this pile's mind~ It's someone very successful and outgoing, they have a really hot smile. I'm seeing pile 5 just melting whenever they see them smiling LOL it's addictive.🥰 This is someone very fun and charismatic, they have such a light energy. It's so enjoyable and sweet!! Prominent Sagittarius and Leo energy. Your person has a genuine aura about them, very honest and showing their true self. They could be a singer or enjoy music a lot, could he their hobby. This person means everything to you, you love them so much and would do anything for them. You also try to be like them, mimicking their little habits and speech patterns <3 They may like the color purple or look good in that color, I have a feeling they are very sweet to you. Which caused you to fall so hard for them!! This person does not show when they are hurt, they will put on a poker face and keep going, so they always seem happy. They have a dark side that you see in yourself, the side you wish you could express but are too shy to. You see them as perfect.💝

💭Their biggest insecurities: Home, Absence, Meaning, Winter, Lesson, Juno, 10th house, Scorpio, Cancer, Saturn, 🤩😡🎧🦁 Your person has some deep feelings they're keeping in, and it's definitely weighing their subconscious rn. They don't feel in the right position, they feel misplaced you could say. Your person has a lot of repressed feelings that they can't hold back anymore, it tears them inside out emotionally. Your person is a drama queen deep down but they are so scared to show this side of them to anyone. Also, your person is so lonely and they have huge insecurities about being needy.😔💞 They just want to cuddle and share their feelings with someone who will keep them safe!! They feel like they have no meaning or worthiness, and they don't want to be a burden. Your crush is secretly clingy but they're ashamed of this, so they pretend to be unbothered by emotional distance. But every little thing really effects them!! They're so insecure about the relationship not bringing you both success and support, they just wanna ensure that you are cared for and that your connection with them will remain true.😚 I'm hearing "keep you interested" and "entertain you" now. They're insecure about you loosing interest or seeing them as less great than you thought, this makes them so nervous awww pile 5 your person really wants to please you.🥺🥺⭐

🖤Messages from your person: I want to hate you, You saved me, Don't think of anyone else, In your imagination, I can't wait to meet you (Ohhh pile 5 they're possessive😳😶❤) Extra cards: Baby, Bones, Nervous, Sight, Punish, 1st house, Aquarius, Mercury, 9th house, Saturn (Aghhh whyyy they're so into you pile 5 they wanna take you down🥵🤯)

Thank you my pile 5's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!❣

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 5 with the tornado emoji~🌪 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading❤

Pile 6🍷

Sign energy: Separation, Quiet place, Neptune, Choice, Mermaid, Scorpio, 10th house, Virgo, Uranus, 1st house, 😫🦄🩺🍰

🥀Your person's energy: Okay I'm getting heavy Scorpio rising vibes oh gosh. Virgo/Aquarius rising aswell as capricorn rising. They have a magnetic aura, their gaze will suck you in so fast. They make you do stupid things without thinking rationally!! You can't think straight around this person, your heart starts beating out of control when you think of them.♥️ I feel like have an attractive collarbone/neck area for some reason, and I also feel called to say this is definitely a loner type of crush. You love their calm and cold demeanor, ohh and their stare has you obsessed you love their piercing gaze. I'm getting a no contact period for some of you with this person, you guys might be far away from eachother or someone is being really REALLY quiet.🤐 They are so mysterious and alluring and you barely know what's in their mind, they're very hard to read at times. But they are highly perceptive and can read you like a book lol it's not fair😂 They are very unique and special, they have charms that make them very different from others. You guys might have a strange situation with this person, a situationship is likely between you two. I feel like you daydream about being dominated by this person in the sweetest way like cuddles where their hug just swallows you whole🥺🥰

💭Their biggest insecurities: Shoulders, Venus, First love, Even, Movie theater, 10th house, 3rd house, Aries, Moon, 8th house, 😭🆙️💬🤝 Awww your person is so sweet omg so first I'm seeing they get really nervous around you like, you give them little butterflies. They have a soft spot for you especially when you pour your heart out and vice versa you listen.😍💕 Their biggest most deep insecurity is scaring you away🥺😰 They have a really deep bond with you and you guys have such an intimate connection, they feel so strongly for you that their emotions and intensity just consumes them. Part of them just wants to hold your hand and brush your hair gently, and then there's another part of them that wants to grab your shoulders and kiss you against the wall until you can't breathe💀 So like they're super worried about how you'll react to their intensity and they don't want to make you uncomfortable or seem to desperate/clingy for your love. They're worried you will just watch them like a clown circus as they cry over you😂 Stop why am I laughing it's so sad though. They are afraid you won't want to match their level of attachment to you, they wish you would let them take control of you in the most loving way. They're scared of being called dramatic or too obsessive, and they don't want to let go. My pile 6's your person is so afraid of becoming that "psycho ex" story for you lmaooo where they just never let go of you when you've moved on. 9/10 chance they're probably crying over you rn.🙃 But seriously they just want mutual feelings!!

🖤Messages from your person: You're my dream, I want you all to myself, We're more than friends, I'm not okay, Who are you to me? Extra cards: Hidden, Innocence, Sugar, True feelings, Innovation, 10th house, Vertex, Air, Pluto, Saturn, (They just wanna stabilize their crazy feelings for you but it's so difficult for them...😢)

Thank you my pile 6's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!❣

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ w ˂ )ɞ♡ If you did be sure to let me know pile 6 with the red glass emoji~🍷 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading❤

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Alright you guys this was a lot to write so I'm glad you found the message you needed. Thanks everyone for reading! (*^w^)/💌 -Lunadream <3

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intuitively-her · 1 year

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Why are people scared of you?

Pile 1-(The Hermit, 7 of swords, The Lovers rx, 8 of cups, The Devil, Temperance, 4 of cups rx, 4 of wands rx, 8 of pentacles rx, The Magician, 8 of wands) *angel number confirmation: 888

It's easy for you to detach from situations that don't serve you. You may prefer to be alone often. Sometimes you may even have more fun by yourself than when you're with others. People wish they could be like that. You're very much grounded and comfortable in your own skin. You are your own happiness! This really gets under people's skin. Mad ass bitches.🤣 You're very secretive and many wonder what you're hiding. People feel like they can't keep up with you. This could even be people that try to keep up with you to be all up in your business. But they're still blocked from knowing anyways. You're a powerful creator. You've built your creations from the ground up and made it to the top without the help of anyone else. You really had to get it out the mud BY YOURSELF. Lastly, many believe that you're a heart breaker. It's something about the way you look. You're a temptress.

*channeled song: way 2 sexy by drake

Pile 2-(5 of wands, 10 of swords, The Hanged Man, The Devil, The Star, The Magician, Queen of swords, Ace of swords, Justice)

You're not afraid of confrontation and being the bad guy when it's needed. I keep hearing "don't poke the bear". So you could actually be quiet and keep to yourself, but you'll flip the switch at any moment. That's really f*cking scary lmao. There's this strong aura of confidence around you. You walk with your head held high. Something about you makes people want to surrender. They feel super defeated against you. People would rather be with you than against you. You may have some sort of fame or following on a platform. For some of you, you run a business that contributes to this. People wish they could do it like you. Lastly, people are scared of you because you always get to the bottom of the truth. You always receive justice and come out on top in situations.

*channeled song: blow the whistle by too short

Pile 3-(6 of cups rx, The Hierophant rx, The World, Death, The Hermit, The Emperor, King of swords rx, 2 of pentacles rx, 10 wands rx, 6 of wands)

You're growing up and leaving behind dead weight. You've truly been evolving into a new person. Like a snake shedding it's skin. You're releasing a lot of your past burdens. Some people feel like you're gonna leave them behind. This could be family. These are people that were never supposed to join you on your journey anyway. You've been handling things on your own more and keeping your business to yourself. I'm getting a "f*ck it, ill just do it myself" type of energy from this pile. You're becoming your own savior. You've been taking a lot more risks as well. I keep getting something about "risk and reward". So maybe that has meaning to you.

*channeled song: rise up by andra day

Pile 4-(Queen of cups rx, 3 of swords, Queen of pentacles, Queen of wands rx, 4 of swords, Ace of cups, King of cups, Judgement, The High Priestess)

You can be very spiteful towards those that have done you wrong. People are often scared to go against you because they're afraid of what you might do in retaliation. You're very selfish with your time and you take your self-care seriously. You hold a lot of knowledge about many different subjects. I heard "old soul". You know exactly what you want and you demand it. That's actually very attractive to others. You seem to have a good judgement towards others, so you know who to associate yourself with and who not to. You can be a social butterfly at the same time tho. You know many people from many different crowds. You also have many people that come to your defense in situations, some unbeknownst to you.

*channeled song: no more (baby ima do right) by 3LW

#tarot #tarot reading #pick a card #pick a pile #pick an image

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ineffectualdemon · 7 months

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One thing that pisses me of about the psych industry

Things I have experienced

I have been unable to sleep because I "know" that shadow creature is coming to get me

I feel cats that aren't there

I feel worms under my skin

I have believed with my whole being that I am in a different reality

I have on multiple occasions believe I am specially chosen by a god and that I need to wait for his message of what to do to save the world

I have to actively avoid getting too deeply into religion, ARGs, and conspiracy theories because I lose track of reality

I hear voices scream things in my ear, call my name, cough, tell me the time etc

And I have been told by pretty much everyone in the psych industry (except my last therapist) that none of the above counted as psychosis or delusions

Why?

I the only reason I can think is because generally my response to the above is to be secretive about it. Like when I believe I am chosen by god I don't tell people at the time

I write about it and then burn the journals. Because it's important that it's a secret.

Same reason I struggle to talk about the shadow man tormenting me at night. I think if I tell people bad things happen.

And probably most crucially, the voices I hear outside my body don't tell me to do things. They scream random words or say my name or tell me the time but they don't really have conversations with me.

So I really think what they mean by "you don't have psychosis" is "you don't make trouble for others"

It doesn't matter if its distressing or upsetting to me or making my life harder

What matters is if it makes other people distressed or their life difficult

If I'm not actively hurting myself or others it doesn't matter that I can't sleep because I'm afraid of what will get me in the dark

It doesn't matter that I hear voices that confuse and disorient and even frighten me because they aren't telling me to do anything so therefore it can't possibly be impacting my life /sarcasm

In all my time dealing with therapists and attempting to talk about it only one therapist actually took it seriously and helped me

It just really pisses me off

#mental health #mental illness #psychosis #delusions

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mrsarcherofinfamy · 2 months

Note

Hi there!! I'm not sure if you are in an angst mood if not totally fine. Please do not feel obligated to do this. ❤️

You and Damian broke up. The two of you still love each other but stubborn people be stubborn. One day after a house show, you are asleep, and Finn calls you begging to come to a bar to get Damian. The archer of infamy keeps asking for you since you used to be the designated driver.

Against your better judgment, you pick D up and take him to your hotel room. The next morning, he wakes up, and the two of you start arguing (maybe about something they often fought about). In the heat of the moment, one of you admits your feelings to the other. The two of you finally calm down and start to work through their problem and get back together.

I hope you like it!! I tried my best!! 😊

●Damian Priest x Reader●

________________________________________

Laying in bed, looking at the picture of me and Damian sitting on his nightstand on his side of the bed, I start tearing up. Me and Damian broke up about two weeks ago because he thought I was cheating on him with JD. Me and JD were discussing the surprise I had planned for Damian. I lay on my side of the bed, looking down at Damian's side of the bed, and wipe my hand across the bed. I pull the blanket up to my face and shove my face into my pillow, tearing up thinking about him. I start to cry myself to sleep.

________________________________________

*about half hour later*

I am laying in bed sleeping when my phone starts ringing really loud. I gasp sitting up real fast and look over at my phone. I grab it seeing Finn's name come up. I sigh, roll my eyes and answer the phone.

"Yes? What do you want?"

"Woah... hello to you too Y/N."

"What do you want Finn? I'm trying to sleep."

"Well you are gonna have to come pick up Damian."

"No."

"Y/N. Please. He keeps asking for you since you were always the designated driver."

"Why can't you drive him?"

"I've been drinking too. But not as much as him."

"Where is Rhea? Or Dom? Or JD?"

"I don't know. Y/N. Seriously. He is only asking for you. Please. You need to come get him. I'm afraid he might fight someone soon."

"Finn. I haven't seen him in over two weeks since we broke up. I really don't wanna come get him."

"Y/N. Please. Cmon. He only wants you to pick him up. Please. Don't make me keep begging you. I'll give you gas money to come get him. Please."

I sigh and roll my eyes at him standing up.

"Fine. Just this one time. And I'll take him to his hotel room and he is staying there."

"We will see how long he stays there since his hotel room is across from yours."

"I'm not coming."

"Y/N. Please!"

"Fine. Send me the address and give me a few to get changed."

I hang up on him and toss my phone on the bed. I grab one of Damian's big sweatshirts that I took from him awhile ago and put on some leggings. I put on my sneakers and my hat on backwards. I grab my keys and my phone and head out of my room. I stop and look at the address Finn sent me. I walk down the hall, down the stairs and out to the parking lot. I get in my car, putting the address in my phone and head off to go pick him up.

_________________________________________

*at the bar*

I park outside the bar against the curb and call Finn. It rings a few times and he doesn't answer. I sigh and roll my eyes. I look over at the door and I see Damian stumbling out of the door with Finn trying to hold him up. I unlock the door and wait for them. Finn opens the door and helps Damian get in the car. I roll my eyes not looking over at them.

"Thank you Y/N!"

"Yeah yeah."

Finn closes the door and I put the car in drive pulling out of the parking lot. Damian puts his hand on the back of my neck and starts lightly scratching. I grip the steering wheel starting to feel tears swelling up in my eyes. He used to always do that when I would drive just to help me focus and be calm. We get back to the hotel and I park the car getting out. I walk over to his side, open the door and help him get out of the car. Damian slings his arm around my neck looking down at me.

"You are........really....beautiful."

I look up at him for a quick second feeling more tears starting to form than start helping him inside of the hotel. We make our way to my hotel room and I unlock the door helping him inside to the bedroom. I sit him down on the bed and go to the kitchen to grab him a water and a little snack like I would always do for him. I walk back into the bedroom seeing him taking his shoes and pants off. I sit the water and snack next to the bed and walk over to my side of the bed. I grab my pillow and blanket and walk out to the living room. I take off my leggings and my hat and put them on the little desk. I keep Damian's sweatshirt on and lay down on the couch getting comfortable covering myself up with my blanket. I lay there feeling tears start streaming down my face trying to fall asleep.

_________________________________________

*the next morning*

I am sitting on the couch watching the TV still lightly crying from last night. I hear the bed start creaking and I quickly wipe the tears off my face. Damian comes around the corner stretching in the door frame. I look over at him real quick than back at the TV. He walks over to the kitchen and opens the fridge door.

"Wait.... where did my food go?"

He looks over at me on the couch and slams the fridge door shut. He walks over to me standing over me.

"What are you doing in my hotel room?"

"Ummm... this is my hotel room."

He looks around the room than looks back at me confused.

"Why am I in your room?"

I gulp and finally look up at him.

"Well.... Finn called me last night."

"Of course he did. You trying to sleep with him too? I wouldnt doubt it since you went for his best friend."

"No.....He called me because you were asking for me to come pick you up. Because I used to be your designated driver. And he was afraid you might fight him or someone else."

"Yeah I'm sure. What did I tell you when we broke up? I told you to never talk to me again! To never help me again! And to stay away from me! What don't you understand!?"

"IM TRYING OKAY?!"

He stands there looking at me with a shocked face. I stand up infront of him looking up at him, my eyes swelling with tears again.

"Fuck my feelings! They are fucked! But one thing that I'll always be sure about is my love for you! It hurts seeing you backstage almost everyday looking all happy! I would NEVER cheat on you with your friends or anyone! I fucking love you and I can't fucking stay away from you! Okay?!"

I sit down and start crying again pulling my knees to my face. Damian sits down next to me on the couch and puts his arm around my body pulling me into him.

"Y/N."

I continue crying into my knees and he pulls me closer starting to rub my back putting his head ontop of mine.

"Shhhh."

I sniffle and look up at him. He starts wiping the tears from my face looking back at me.

"Y/N. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for accusing you of messing with my friends. I'm sorry I hurt you like this. I promise I have been faking it about being happy. I'm not happy. Ive been really depressed since we broke up. Finn, Dom and JD have been basically yelling at me for the last two weeks about how I am an idiot and you weren't cheating on me. They said you were actually setting up a surprise for me."

I look up at him some tears running down my face. He starts wiping them away.

"I was planning a surprise party for your birthday. I wanted it to be special."

"You were? Really?"

I look at him seeing his face getting really concerned and upset.

"Yes I was. But now that your birthday has passed, that ain't happening."

"I.....I.....I'm so sorry. I was and still am so scared of losing you."

I look up at him feeling my eyes being very puffy. He looks at me very upset and his eyes starting to tear up.

"I still love you with everything in my heart and soul. I really miss you."

"I miss you too."

He puts his hand under my chin, pushes my head up towards him and kisses me lightly. I lean in kissing him back. We slowly start kissing each other and I run my fingers through his hair. He pulls back looking me in the eyes. I look up at him slightly smiling.

"I love you Y/N."

"I love you too Damian."

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