#i just... she thinks im sad cuz ahe tells.me to stufy but who's gonna tell her about the stuff she says...

[blueprint-han]

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#........................................................................................................................................... #what if i...died #not from sh but like.... just happened to pass away in my sleep... my paranoia is going off the charts... #my mom and i had a lovely fight today #she found my self harm scars #i tried to like... cover it up and i think she's partially convinced... and i have this feeling she told my grandma about it... #gosh i have to go buy dinner but like #what if i crash the vehicle #this is too much for me to handle #i just stood near the balcony and my mom's like “ #“dont put on this drama tic actof like standing near the balcony and crying” and then started cursing about how she has to he worried about #her own daughter in her own house... I'm... honestly? im sorry. maybe im the one who keeps taking this stuff to heart too much to the point #where it fucking brings me to the brink of self harm. it's my fault. all my fault... #she told me wbout how she should just run away ajd how I'm being such a problem to her. #yeah so like? if i hadnt TOLD u and kept.it hidden youd be like “u keep hiding stuff and youre giving me tension dont keep it bottled up” #and the moment i don't... #honestly #i... idk what to say anymore... fuck me #i just... she thinks im sad cuz ahe tells.me to stufy but who's gonna tell her about the stuff she says... #y'know what #ill go drive my way to get dinner #and if i happen to die whej i do that #ill be happy #i don't even see a future with myself lmao #what's the use of struggling so much to wait for things that never get better #its my fault. all my fault. all my fault that im weak and stupid and im on my phone alk the time. everything what i do is wrong and she's #the perfect human being. #dawn.txt #tbd #dawn.personal