#i just..don't push myself to eat. not unless my body is telling me i need to.

[kaixserzz]

i looked into the mirror today and i was like GODDAMN my eyebags are HORRIBLE holy shit 😭😭made me think about zandik so here :3 kinda sucks but i just needed to prep myself b4 i write smth longer and get through this state of mind 💀💀

dottore drabble x4 "eyebags"

during your days back at the akademiya, it was not uncommon for scholars and students alike to have sleepless nights for the sake of their own projects and research.

zandik was especially no exception, despite his research usually having nothing to do with the akademiya.

it was always you who would remind him to sleep, so he wouldn't pass out in the middle of writing on his desk or start stumbling as he walks. you seemed to care for his body more than he did himself.

but he'd listen to you anyway, no matter how much he thinks it would be a hindrance to his progress if he dared to sleep, take a break, or even eat. you always seem to manage to convince him into doing things you want (for his own good).

it's not like he could think straight in such a vulnerable state.

so zandik was surprised to see you passed out on the living room floor, with papers messily splayed all over the coffee table, and dirty plates with leftover food on the couch.

if it was him in the scene, you probably would've scolded him for messing up the living room and sleeping there, but as of late, zandik noticed that you've been way too busy. but he hasn't seen you pull all-nighters unless there were exams, or you were nearing a due date.

zandik took it upon himself to investigate, peering into the numerous papers laid on the wooden table and ultimately found out that some of these papers weren't even yours, or were a group project.

he clicked his tongue in annoyance.

without waking you, zandik picked up all the papers and organized them as neatly as possible, resisting the urge to rip them apart. it was your work after all, despite the papers having someone else's name in them. then, he cleaned the dishes you'd left from your midnight snacks.

when you groaned and started blinking blearily awake, zandik gently pushed you back onto the couch, mumbling something about sleeping more.

and when you refused, he glared at you with a huff. "sometimes, your kindness could be such a curse," he remarks as he watched you shakily sit up, yawning, "you look horrible."

ignoring his comment as you stretched your body, noticing the clean living room. you gave a knowing smile to zandik, to which he just scoffed at.

you almost flinched at the sudden touch of his hands on your face, cupping your cheeks soothingly as he stared into your eyes. the fog of sleepiness hasn't been fully cleared from your mind, and you find yourself melting in his hands, sighing blissfully.

his thumbs pressed on the flesh beneath your eyes, and his right eye twitched. "you have big eyebags."

at that, you let out a noise, offended at his words, as you quickly sobered up from your sleepy state and glared halfheartedly at him. your hands found themselves on his face and lightly pinched his cheeks.

"like you're one to talk!" you pouted at him, "you're the one sleeping 2 hours everyday if i don't tell you to sleep!"

"i do not care much of what you do," he quickly lied, and you rolled your eyes, "but i will not stand for your idiocy to do everything yourself." zandik hissed, not noticing how his brewing anger made him dig his nails onto your jawline.

but it wasn't painful, considering how gentle he was whenever he holds you. though, you could tell he was genuinely upset. why were you letting others take advantage of you? he hates it, and you know he will do something about it sooner or later.

your chest felt warm knowing that he cares so much about you.

so you just sighed and grabbed him by his arms, before falling back onto the couch.

zandik yelps as he lands onto your body, and before he could process what you did, you had your arms wrapped around his torso, successfully trapping him. "what are you doing?" he glares at you again, elbows on the both sides of your head, propping himself upwards to not crush you.

"let's sleep a bit more," you cooed, pulling him to you, using all his strength to deny his squirming. you let him lay atop your body, arms refusing to let him go.

zandik flushed at the closeness, struggling to think coherently as your hot breath fanned against his neck. he felt the hairs on his arms stand when you spoke against his skin.

"we're both tired, so let's sleep,"

zandik scowled, but he let himself be comfortable against your body. he couldn't help but breathe in your scent as he buried his face in your chest, slowly growing content in this position. the feeling of your hand rubbing his head in all the right places is slowly lulling him to sleep once more.

"...fine," he relented with a grumble, "just this once, only because you're an idiot who needs a teddy bear to sleep."

you laughed lightly, before kissing him on the cheek. "thanks for looking out for me,"

"whatever..."

ugh, how is he going to sleep when you make his heart pound crazily against his ribcage?

- ̥۪͙۪˚┊❛❛ If you like this a lot, consider reblogging! I'll appreciate it very very much! Don't repost and/or translate my work anywhere. ❜❜ ┊˚ ̥۪͙۪◌

#favoniuslibrary #˚₊໒🔪꒱kai writes₊˚ #╰┈➤ il dottore #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #dottore x reader #il dottore x reader #genshin impact

[jovial-thunder]

Just watched ep 3 of Dead End and it sent me BAWLING. The (autistic) main character has so much fear of navigating a normal team building beach day that it literally explodes a fear-eating demon.

I feel like that all the time, there is so much fear held inside this body. I've never heard it talked about like this — usually people just talk about being "overstimulated" but that's only usually the breaking point that they notice.

(Reflections/ramblings on this below the fold)

So much of my life is carefully constructed to mask, manage, and avoid this fear and social anxiety.

I had breakdowns on public transit until I watched enough people to copy how they got on and off the bus.

I have trouble at new supermarkets until I learn the script at the checkout stand.

I've travelled an hour to parties, arrived, and left immediately once it became clear that the vibes were Unfamiliar.

I'm petrified of asking for help unless there are clear social expectations about it.

I'm currently traveling in Berlin alone and it's wild how impossible basic staying alive maintenance becomes when I don't have my routines and scripts. Even though most people here speak English, my monolingual ass canNOT work up the ability to like go to a grocery store with an hour of research and planning beforehand, much less a cafe or any of the activities you're "supposed" to do while on vacation.

I've had friends who have, I feel, judged me for this: "olive, you're letting your fear hold you back." — you don't know the half of it!! I am very powerful for having gotten as much done as I have with this as a constant concern!!!

It's like telling a depressed person to just cheer up. This is just a fact of who I am. I can do the comfort-zone pushing thing to build out tolerance and skills, but the fear is always there, and it's harder for me than it is for you, neurotypical person!

I wish I had a map of my fear. It's not always the shape you'd expect of what social anxiety looks like. Making a Kickstarter video? It's work, but not the Fear, I can do it. Public speaking can be nervous but I usually know what I'm talking about, not a problem.

Asking a question to a panel? Needing to cold-introduce myself to someone at a meet-n-greet? Impossible.

Anyway it was a huge surprise to see this represented in a cartoon I haven't seen anyone talking about. Watch even the first few episodes of Dead End. It's on Netflix and rules.

#dead end paranormal park #autism #maybe i should try and get diagnosed huh

[i-cant-sing]

What if y/n just threw up while on ushijimas lap, after he made her eat a third serving of dinner. It’s be all his fault.

I mean, yeah you could say that. But after the 1 or 2 times, your body becomes used to eating large portions and now unless you induce your vomiting yourself, which would be difficult to do so when you're right in front of him (and if u do it later when he's out of sight, he's punishing u because that's actually self harm), you're pretty much good to go. And when you do vomit 5he first few times, Ushijima is there to hold clean you up, wipe your tears, ensure you're well hydrated and hush you with patronising words (but still in that monotonous tone), telling you that it's okay, he's not mad and that "we'll try again tomorrow".

He's training his kitten to be a mini Ushijima after all🥺💖

This reminds me of the time when I was like 12 and I first heard about bulimia and I was curious as to why someone would do that, so like I tried doing it myself (yes, I'm well aware of how stupid I was)

And like, as I was hunched over the toilet, and pushed 2 fingers to the back of my throat, all I could think was-

This is highly unsanitary. What is appealing about this- omg is that poop on that plunger? I don't like my knees or my clothes touching the bathroom floor.

And when I actually gagged, I was like- hmm, idk how to feel about this. On one hand, this is a sort of pleasant. On the other hand, it is not. And then I tried it again, and I was like "Yeah no. This is too much hardwork. I should lay in bed instead. Ugh but I can't lay in bed now after my clothes touched the floor. I need to shower. Gosh, I'd already showered this morning. Now I have to shower again. I can't believe I have to shower twice in one day. Far too much work for me."

So I guess being a lazy ass and iron deficient kid saved me from potentially developing an ED💀💀💀

[detransraichu]

why did i think i was trans? how did i delude myself? it's complicated.

hiya. i'm a butch lesbian woman who was confused since i was 12 year old ish and thought i was transgender -- mostly nonbinary though with some periods where i thought i was a trans guy -- up until 2022. many factors played in that whole mess that went on in my brain and my life. i'm going to be putting it ic because it's ridiculously long :') but feel free to reply etc. i hope stories like mine can make people feel less alone in these experiences and maybe help pain like mine be prevented. i want trans people to be respected while also doing what is best for society and women's rights too.

anyway. here's my story.

to preface, my feelings about transness in general -- i do love many trans people, i saw all the good parts their community has. i still think i do believe in gender dysphoria and sometimes surgeries/hrt being required to help people be safe and happy, but i think alternate routes need to be explored and we need to push for people to unpack their internalized misogyny and homophobia BEFORE they label themselves. the mix of LGB and TQ has created a lot of infighting. with homosexuality it's behavior-driven, attraction-driven, but with being trans it's an identity thing and a disconnect in the brain, it pushes you to change your body or presentation in some way, or ask others to alter how they naturally would treat you with different terms or pronouns. i think there will be more and more detransition stories like mine, the numbers will grow bigger and bigger unless something urgently happens. bc the trans community does NOT or at least VERY RARELY tells someone to slow down the questioning of their gender identity, they do NOT ever question anything, they don't look for internalized sexism in how people describe their gender, they don't do the work to unpack that stuff in their community. and that's just straight up dangerous.

so yeah. how did i get here? honestly i think part of why i thought i was trans was bc i wanted to fit in and i saw the gender euphoria in other ppl and was like wow i want a feeling like that. and honestly in my personal case it was just me having fun doing drag and lowkey cosplaying as male characters i was obsessed with in media. and my DID added to it too bc i would sometimes dissociate and feel that part of me was male or genderless and that's not bc those parts of me were trans that's bc they are a manifestation of my traumas!!! on top of my eating disorder, dysmorphia and psychosis. i really wish ppl i talked to as a teen on tumblr hadn't jumped to "omg you hate your body? you wish you were a boy under patriarchy? you have suuuch trans vibes bestie you'll make the perfect lil softboy uwu" bc then i was extremely lonely at school and at home and just felt soooo excited at the attention i felt happy to fit in, and honestly even my "dysphoria" after that was that i looked like other trans ppl and i thought they were the coolest, i just felt deep admiration. and then i'd show pics online and ppl would hype me up just bc i identified as trans. so then it snowballed into me feeling terrified to go out bc i was scared i'd get misgendered since i was visibly afab and all my friends were trans and very toxic sjw stereotype so i saw cis people as toxic and untrustworthy and i got to write angsty posts about it that got somewhat popular which i loved bc i'm a writer and i loved to fantasize and imagine a sense of justice alongside other warriors... not unlike how i felt joining into the trans community. when deep down i knew i was being the annoying little sister trying to gain older kids's approval and trailing behind lol. the first trans person i met online was this awesome trans guy who did photography and he was a good bit older and i just wanted to look like him so bad so that he would like me. he ended up ghosting me. but i was still obsessed w him so i looked up trans stuff and fell in head first without even a questioning phase :/ which is 100% on me of course! i was just a very impulsive kid and the trans ppl around me lived in this big colorful world full of identities and drama and unconditional support... but i do wish someone had slowed me down and showed me alternate paths, the path of just being gnc.

i was also like. okay i know i'm queer but idk how, but i want to be in this community bc i'm so lonely (as a baby dyke). so i looked at the most opposite identity ever and gay trans man was the furthest away i could go from myself & my gay attraction & my body & my female masculinity. i was constantly dissociated, constantly. i was living in my yaoi fantasies lol like the "perfect" romance bc it wasn't hetero stuff which had scary power dynamics, and it also wasn't lesbian bc that hit too close to home and i'd start to have panic attacks. so i avoided those, tho sometimes i'd read fanfics w a side lesbian relationship.... but pretended to hate them and not care at all. that was actually part of me accepting my attraction to women, like moving slowly over to lesbian ships in fanfics and finally seeing what it would be like. it felt too good. so then i repressed it again or only showed my lesbian attraction when flirting with men online lol. bc of course there needed to be a voyeur, otherwise it's too real and gross and bad. tfw trauma and internalized lesbophobia.

but yeah anyway me obsessing over yaoi really made me think of boys very fondly -- always boys, never men -- and feel this deep warm happy feeling in my stomach. thinking of two boys together was total equality bc there was no woman involved, so no misogyny or weird "too real" feelings. if it had a woman i'd eventually have a total freakout bc i would keep pretending i was the guy in that scenario, which was BAD bc it made me sound like a DYKE. and boys had an actual personality (bc there very few genuine complex female characters at the time so they were all dumb or mean or bland) and they could do sooo much more than girls could so they were Better somehow. but of course if u say boys are better you're a misogynist, so i wanted to BE a boy so i could talk about how much i loved boys. and i loved boys bc i admired them. i wished i could be a "more male" version of a girl. i wanted to embody maleness so that i could create myself a better girlhood. and not even call it girlhood, so it was even cooler. i didn't want to be like the other girls, who were all loser straight boy crazy bullies. or even if there were cool girls with me, they would just annoy me (bc i was always depressed and exhausted from mental illness and untreated disabilities and it made me irritable). so yeah. boys were it. specifically boys bc men sounded almost triggering from my misogyny trauma. like men are the kind that hurt you. but boys are soft and sweet and special and harmless. they're the right kind of male person. the good ones. and they have such vivid relationships with one another and are such complex beings, unlike girls. and now that i'm a boy i'm gonna be the boy with the best morals and no toxic masculinity whatsoever, just a soft little uwu bean with a soft beautiful very typically girly flat chest, like an afab person before puberty, and no facial hair of course except for maybe a slightly lower voice and less fat (i thought it was good riddance at the time bc i was anorexic lol so that just reinforced it). i had this perfect image of myself. but it was always wavering, so i would never feel fully secure in my gender identity but i also couldn't lose my grip and question that i'm not nonbinary/trans bc then i'll have to accept that i'm an afab lesbian with a boring ass female gender. and i would have to disappoint everybody, and worst of all make them look bad for detransitioning. 

but yeah.... i actually am feeling less bad abt just being a bland woman. like i don't need to be special, i can blend in and people won't hurt me bc i'm a loser like in highschool. normality and domesticity are blissful actually, like i'm Just A Girl and i'm basic af or whatever. but there's other boring, gnc girls, and they're cool but they're also in the highschool situation of being "not the kind of girl that gets asked out and family is kinda broke and not noticeably pretty and has failing grades and untreated disorders so therefore an even bigger loser." so yeah i wanted to be different. to be noticed and thought about, and go against the grain. ie, cishet normative things. usually secretly, but then at some point i came out to my family and they got transphobic but also just said gross things to me that made it so that even if i had been wobbly on my identity i now didn't trust them to talk about it so i just repressed feelings and held onto a trans identity even harder. but then i started thinking of girls a LOT and envying lesbian women. who didn't have to worry about gender stuff, and also got to be gay in a way that... suddenly i noticed could be cool too. i had never allowed myself to notice it. but then i did. and i freaked out bc i was dating someone who wasn't a woman kgdkjgk and it felt transphobic af so i just resolved myself that i MUST be trans.

i was deep in the closet lesbian-wise and my brain tricked itself bc i just wasn't ready to accept being a lesbian. i just wasn't. i've only become ready this year!! and that's around the time that my ex broke up w me (or well we both came to the conclusion that i'm a lesbian so being w them would be wrong, and that it turns out they're only into men/enbies). and then i tried to be nonbinary again bc i wanted to get back w them so bad but then i realized it just wasn't me, and i started getting comfy w gay womanhood. and i came to terms with being a single butch lesbian!!! i'm so much better now that i'm radically accepting myself. it was a LOOONG stressful upsetting journey bc i wasn't being myself. but now i am being myself. and i'm clumsy af and kinda dumb and SUUUUPER inexperienced as both a girl loving girls and also just an adult woman in general. like being an adult woman is HARD and idk what i'm doing and i'm barely scraping by and i'm so behind everyone else. but now i gotta deal with it, actually deal with my issues :/ no more internalized lesbophobia & misogyny!! society often defeminizes girls like me and takes womanhood away from marginalized women but no!!! i'm still a woman. i'm weird but i'm just a weird woman and that's fine. some girls are freaks and weirdos and something different but not the differences that were considered "cool" on leftist tumblr as whichever community is most oppressed and has the most funky flags and ultra-microlabels. and i'm sorry to say, it's embarrassing as hell. but i did fetishize transness. i did think of trans people as unironically cooler than regular non-bigoted close-minded cis people, more interesting, better morality, cooler, smarter, etc. and i wanted to make friends and trans/enby online communities were super vibrant in fandom spaces that i was in. so yup. there it is. i'm a trans faker actually, though i was super out of it during it all, i wasn't doing it consciously. i just was ignoring my true identity, being a butch lesbian woman. it's so sad that i felt the need to repress myself like this, it breaks my own heart to think about it. but i did repress myself. i was soooo cruel to myself and was bigoted towards myself. but never again. never again!!! nope sir!!!

another thing -- i think i also used having a trans/nonbinary identity as a way to have an excuse to go no-contact with my abusive family. i was told they were bigots for being vaguely supportive but confused about trans stuff and struggling with the vocabulary and sudden identity discourse, asking embarrassing questions (that i had no answers for bc i wasn’t actually trans but ofc real trans people would) when i told them i was a boy so i get to use that as a reason not to talk to them. bc otherwise they just would never leave me alone. at least that’s how i rationalized it lol. so yeah. here i am. a complete doofus, with very little bit of stubble coming out of my chin that i have to shave daily. and a slightly transmasc-typical voice. i completely blew it, i repressed being a lesbian soooo deeply even though my family wasn't even that homophobic, all things considered, so i definitely could've lived as my true self. i was just ashamed and stubborn and believed all the things in the media and from homophobes. and thought ppl would be scared of me bc the only other lesbian in school was a creep. idk. it's all so embarrassing. but there ya go.

#lay text #my journey #detrans #detransition #radfem #gender critical #ok to rb

[masterprocrastiwriter]

Has there been a Soldier!Schlatt? Him in such a uniform is so hot.

This isn't smut, though, don't worry. tw // war.

please don't leave me alone.

a schlatt au.

I woke up, carefully blinking my eyes open and arching my back up. I looked to my side and noticed Schlatt wasn't here beside me. He must be making breakfast for us now.

I did some mundane shit and walked towards the kitchen. Schlatt was preparing food and plates, wearing a military cap and uniform—which got me confused, since he doesn't leave the house unless near noon. It's literally morning today. He's been serving the military for half a decade, and after a recent weeks of a break, he decided to return to his job.

Maybe his job is early today, since he took a long break.

When he put down the forks and spoons, his eyes looked up at me and smiled. "Good morning, love!"

"G-Good morning," I said, realizing that I was smiling too. I sat down and we both started eating. We also mixed our breakfast with a little chit-chatting, a couple laughs here and there...it made me do a big sigh.

Gosh, I love this man so much.

People usually misunderstood him as an unapproachable type of guy. The kind of man, as they say, that gets no bitches. Well, he has one now—I'm only like that in bed though. But because of him, I realize myself more than just his bitch or partner—I'm his lover. And he's my lover, too.

Life's never been the same since he came.

After eating, I scrolled a little bit on my phone and notice a recently recurring news throughout social media. There's going to be a war between two countries—just by reading the title of the articles, I felt my gut clenched a bit and my lips flattened.

War. It does nothing but to solve problems by violence. It only costs lives more than political benefits. War is a menace to society.

I shook my head and put the phone aside and stepped into the bathroom. During my shower, I couldn't stop thinking about the articles—it's bugging me. Considering that Schlatt's a military man, I'm overly worried that he might be assigned by his colonel to join the war—I shook my head. No. No, that's not going to be happening.

Isn't it?

I finished taking a bath and changed to my new clothes, breathing in and out deeply to ward the negative emotions off my body. I went to the living room and noticed Schlatt putting a few bags on the door.

My gut clenched again. Something's wrong.

I looked to the kitchen with creased eyebrows. "Love, are you there?"

"Yeah?" He appeared from the kitchen, smiling at me. "Anything you need?"

"Uhh...why are there so many bags at the door?"

"Oh, um...they're for medical and food purposes, just in case." He sighed, rubbing his neck with his hand. "And...I might not return home tonight or a next few days."

I swallowed my throat. "W-What do you mean? Did the colonel gave you a punishment?"

"No, no, it's just that..." he exhaled, frustration and fear etched on his face. "It's just hard to tell you..."

"T-Tell me, Schlatt, I-I won't judge," I said, my voice being shaky. My heart's beating a little faster, not liking what my mind's assuming where this conversation would lead to.

He closed his eyes, lips flat and pouted before hesitantly nodding in quick succession. "Okay. Just...come closer to me."

I walked closer to him, my feet shaking at every step. Worrying thoughts started to intrude through my mind—I tried my best to push them all off, but they couldn't go away.

The moment our distance between us is half a meter, two big arms suddenly encaged me and pulled me to collide against his chest. His hug was tight, as if he doesn't want to let me go.

I heard a sniffle.

Being clouded by confusion and anxiety, I lifted my small arms to embrace him back. I blinked, struggling to understand what is happening here.

"S-Schlatt...why are you hugging me like this?" I asked. "W-What the fuck is going on?"

"I'm sorry."

My whole self froze.

I'm sorry.

These two words echoed in my mind when they escaped from his mouth. My face felt blank and gray, and my body subtly shivered cold.

"No...n-no, you're not thinking w-what I'm thinking, r-right?" I mumbled—we slowly let go of each other. I slowly shook my head, sarcastically smiling, "T-This is a joke, isn't it? 'C-Cause if it is, I-I bet you...that's n-not a good joke."

Schlatt's face was now wet with tears. "Would you think I'd be joking if I'm crying like this?"

I blinked a few times in suspended yet heightened disbelief.

"Let me clarify..." I trailed off, taking a deep breath before saying anything. "Were you, by any chance...assigned to go to that war?"

He swallowed his throat, and eventually, he nodded.

"Yes."

Silence filled the whole house afterwards. Never thought a single yes could tear and crumble my inner world. A part of my heart shattered and altered my breathing pace in so much disbelief.

Two words:

"FUCKING. BULLSHIT!!!"

Two words broke loose from my mouth and abruptly ceased the minutes-long silence. My hands fisted and shaking and my nails dug onto my skin.

"For the first time after weeks in your break...you were mandatorily assigned?" My almost whispering voice faltered as I'm about to cry. "To go to war?? Are you kidding me?!"

He looked at me with genuine helplessness in the face, not knowing what to say. "L-Look...I was surprised as well, but it's the colonel's orders—"

"Why does it have to be all that sudden?!" Tears quickly escaped my eyes as I heaved my breath. I quickly shook my head and turn back to him, "You know what, why don't you resign?"

"What?" Schlatt's eyes widened, brows creased. "You think the colonel would let me resign when I was given a very important mission? He would literally drag me from here if I refused to do so!"

"S-Schlatt, no, I'm begging you, just don't go!" I cupped his cheeks, almost falling on my knees. "We can run away from this house, start a new life, and I'll get the both of us a job at a farm or something. I-I'd do everything t-to pull you away from t-there, j-just..." My sobs became louder.

"...n-no!" My voice went high-pitched as I whimpered the word. "I c-can't afford t-to lose you."

I found myself now kneeling onto the floor, head low and crying hard. I'm such a wrecked mess—a damn apocalypse in front of him. If only I had the guts, then I'd march to the colonel and do enough pushups and kneels and beg him to not send Schlatt into war.

But then again...what power do I have against the colonel? None.

"D-Don't l-leave me alone...please..."

It was a simple decision, yet the one that will take me away from one of the most important people I ever had in my life. I wouldn't be able to sleep properly every night without thinking about what's going to happen to him, at every. fucking. minute.

I'd be like an observer to a Schrodinger's cat experiment where the box and the flask with poison represent the war, and Schlatt is the cat. I wouldn't know if he's dead or alive in that box—and that's enough to make anyone suffer from paranoia for whoever had their love ones sent to war.

I'm drowning in an ocean of what ifs at the moment.

Eventually, my sobs softened and my face is now soaked with tears. I realized that Schlatt kneeled down and hugged me again, hushing me while slowly caressing my back.

"Hush now, love..." he said, voice low and calm. "I acknowledge whatever you feel."

"I-I just...d-don't want a-anything bad h-happen to you...:

"But we have no choice...war is a big thing. And, responsibility is inevitable."

He held the sides of my head, and planted a firm kiss on my forehead. I looked up at him the same way he looked at me. A soft smile formed on his lips. "I have to leave now. But I swear to you from this moment on...I will return."

I wiped the tears with my hands, sniffling. "R-Really?"

"Mhm." he hums. "Yes, I will."

He helped me get up on my feet carefully, and the moment I managed to stand he quickly laid his lips on mine. I follow with the movement as my hands ran to his back, embracing him into a hug. It didn't take long for us to crave our kisses more—it showed when he groped the back of my neck and my hand grabbing a fistful of his hair.

This may or may not be the last kiss that I'll ever get from him again. And so, we'll give it our best.

Our lips were escalating, like it's a rough battle of pleasure to pleasure—I felt like he was about to break it, but I pulled him closer to me so I could feel the best kiss I hope to do so in my life again with the same pair of lips.

And...at an intuited right time, our lips finally departed and we quickly hauled air to our lungs—our heads turned to the doorway when we both heard the sound of a beeping car.

"Hey, Schlatt, it's time to go! The Colonel is so pissed right now!"

"On it, Ted!" He said, looking at the door. He turned back to me and cupped my cheek, "Don't worry about me too much, okay? I want you to take care of yourself while I'm not here. Do you understand, love?"

I sniffled, nodding, "I-I will try..."

"Don't say you'll try." He said, looking at me in the eye. "Say that you can do it."

I paused, until my head moved in a firm nod. "Yes, Schlatt. I will take care of myself."

"Good." His lips formed into a grin, which reflected back at my own lips as well. He walked towards the door to pick all the bags, and is about to walk out of the door.

"Schlatt!"

He stopped from my shout, and looked back at me. "Hmm?"

I took a deep breath and exhaled. Then, I stomped my foot against the floor, my heels sticking to each other and my feet positioned in 45 degrees of angle, raising the right hand sharply to my eyebrow—the first time I did a military salute to him after years of seeing him and his fellow men do it.

"May you be safe, Schlatt—I swear to the stars and back."

The corner of his lips moved upward, stomped his feet as well and did the pose, saluting me with a proud expression on his face. "Love, yes, love!"

I laughed, shaking my head. "Alright, alright, you can go. Take care..."

"You too! I love ya!"

And he walked out of the door. And the car broom'd away.

And now...I'm all alone.

I still want him here.

It's gonna take either months to years...I'll be willing to be patient if that means I'm going to see him again. And hold him again.

"M-Me too." A single tear escaped my eye. "I-I love you too."

And I prayed, that one day...may he come back home safely.

#jschlatt #jschlatt x reader #jschlatt fanfiction #jschlatt x you #jschlatt x y/n #dsmp

[faghubby]

"Go ahead baby, I know you need this" Linda laid next to me fully clothed. As I was naked jerking off.

"Your doing great, I feels good doesn't it" Linda told me.

"Are you going to cum, all over your tummy?" She asked

Lighty touching my chest. I spurted all over my stomach

"There all better" Linda told me.

"Go get cleaned up Tim" Linda continued. Linds got out of bed and went back to her home office. She had a big meeting in the morning.

I got up and showered. I crawled into the bed still naked. I read alittle and drifted off to sleep. I woke a few hours later as Linda came to bed. She wore a satin nightie. I became aroused again.

"If this is a problem for you I can find you somewhere else to sleep." Linda teased. But turned her back to me and pulled her panties down. I spooned her my hard dick rubbing against her soft ass. I dry humped her. Rubbing my didk against her soft cheeks.

"Don't cum on me" She tells me. As I get close I pull back and again cum all over my stomach. I kiss her ass and pull her panties back into place. I get up and clean up. Linda is asleep when I return.

In the morning I role over and see Linda wearing a tiny black thong with a matching bra pushing her perfect breast out. She rolled stockings up her legs.

"Are you going to get up" Linda said without even turning around.

"You look amazing" I told her.

"Thank you" She winked at me.

"I will be home late" She informed me slipping on a simple flower print dress and slipped on her shoes. A kiss to my cheek she grabbed her bag and was off.

Linda had cut me off from sex since she had started sleeping with Malcolm, her boss. It had been two months. Linda had confessed the first night. I forgave her but it also excited me. She realized it that very night. That was the last time we had sex. She felt like a slut sleeping with two men, so she had me choose which it would be Malcolm or me. I choose Malcolm after she told me how he had made her cum with his big cock. I hoped one day she would allow me to have ses with her again. I got up and showered. I had been unemployed for the past six months. So other then filling out applications online. I had taken to keeping the house clean. This left me alot of free time during the day. I often found myself watching porn. Often cuckold themed these days. I fantasied about eating a creampie but could not bring myself to even ask Linda. Today I clicked on a link to an instructional site. How to make a cuckold articles. Submission ideas. I spent hours reading. I wonder if Linda would like me to be more submissive. Wear her panties, become her sissy. I sent Linda the link.

/this is how you spend your day/ she texted back

/sorry didn't mean to bother you/ I replied

/ we will talk about this later/ Linda texted

Had I offended her? What if she thought me crazy? I spent the rest of the day cleaning, I wanted her not have any other reason not to be cross.

It was after ten when Linda came home. She headed for the shower.

"Anything to ask before I shower." She teased. I couldn't bring myself to say anything. She stripped and showered. Linda came to bed in flannel pj's. I was just wearing shorts.

"Is this more to your liking?" Linda asked. "Not being allowed to see my body? While you are naked in front of me?" She lifted the covers to see my shorts. I took them off.

"Whatelse?" She asked

"Eat Malcolm's seed from me?" She asked

"Maybe if I made you wear panties" She continued

"Lock up your little pee pee" She teased.

"Show me you want this" She said. She handed me a pair of pink bikini panties. I got up and put them on. I was rock hard. But the panties held my little dick. I crawled back into bed with her.

Linda rubbed my butt.

"Maybe even take your virgin ass" Linda teased.

"Tell me you want me to make you my little cuckold sissy" She told me.

"If you want me too" I answered

"No more masterbating unless I tell you too" She informed me. We held each other and fell asleep.

Linda gave me another pair of panties in the morning.

"I don't know what to do yet, but I want you in panties all the time though." She informed me.

I got up and went to shower.

"Maybe trim that hair" Linda pointed to the hair sticking out around the panties.

She stepped close behind me. She held out her phone. Showing me a pic of Malcolm's big cock. Her hand wrapped around it. Mine fit in her hand his would not fit in both her hands.

"This is why you belong in panties" She told me. She smacked my butt and I went to shower. I grabbed her tiny scissors and trimmed my pubic hair. Then thought why not shave it. So I did. Linda had left already. I shaved my self smooth, but I looked ridiculous with the hair on my belly and my thighs. So I shaved it off as well. Then went and put on the panties. These where different giving me a wedgie as they rode up my cheeks. I took a selfie to send to Linda and still thought I was too hairy. So I waited for the water to get hot again. Then took a bath. And shaved the rest of my legs and chest. Even my pits. I was smooth from shoulders to toes. When I finished. Only then did I send Linda a selfie.

/ so cute/ was her only response

I felt very submissive and feminine the rest tof the day. Even picky flowers from the yard for the house. I planned on a special dinner for Linda. I got a message at lunch.

/I found this, (a pic of a pink plastic chastity tube) is it small enough?/

I read the description,

/yes/ was my only reply

After dinner that night she laid me on the bed. "Rub yourself thru your panties." Linds told me. I did as she said

"Want me to help?" She asked.

"Yes" I begged. She grabbed some lube and squirted it on her fingers.

"Role on your side" She laughed. I did knowing what was coming. My panties pulled down in the back her cold lubed fingers rubbed my hole. She worked a finger in

"This what you want?" She giggled and pushed in a second finger

I moaned as her fingers massaged my prostate. I stopped rubbing myself as I focused what Linda was doing.

"A box is coming tomarrow. You are not to open it" She didn't make me cum instead leaving me wanting. I spent the rest of the night in just my panties. Ironing Linda's work clothes. Again I slept in only panties. In the morning I woke to Linda appling lube to my ass. She rubbed her vibrator against my ass. The tip slid in. And I moaned

"That's right you like your ass fucked" Linds told me. She pushed another inch in. I was moaning as she worked it in and out.

"My little faggot husband" She laughed. She had worked all six inches in then removed it.

"I have to get to work." She informed me. Linda was gone when I got out of the shower. I found a purple thong waiting for me. I also found sticky notes all over the house. With tasks on them. Chores I was to complete.

Linda called several times wanting updates. Encouraging me to send her pics of me first in just panties, then getting me to put on a bra. Then pantyhose. Then at the end of the day

"HI, sweety, I am going to see Malcolm this evening. Why don't you pic out one of my dresses. And wait for me."

"I was hoping" I whimpered

"Don't be sad little one, I will be home early" She told me. She sent me pics of Malcolm and her together mostly nudes. I did put on one of her dresses, I had never worn woman's clothes before. I picked a pink dress from the back of her closet.

Linda was home before 8. She came in and burst out laughing at me all dressed up in pink with lace and ruffles.

She opened the box that had been delivered. She pulled out a strapon cock. And adjusted the straps. It was 8 inch long toy jutting from her groin.

"Suck my cock, like I sucked Malcolm's" Linda told me. As I tried Linda gave me pointers on how.

After a few minutes she had me bend over the table and fucked my ass for the second time today.

"I am in more need of a wife then a husband. So you will become my wife. With all the duties that requires." Linda told me.

"You will clean up everything" She informed me. My ass was sore when she pulled her cock from me. She pulled off the toy and her clothes. She lowered her shaved pussy to my open mouth I tasted the now dry cum around her hole. I stuck my tounge in and cleaned her with my tounge and lips. When I finished she stood and pulled out a small satin bag inside it was the chastity tube

"I got the smaller one" She smiled and started fiddling with it. Before appling a small lock.

"Your my wife now I expect you to start acting like one."

[strengthsapprentice]

Can i have a matchup for the arcana please

Gender: cis female

Pronouns: she/her

Sexuality: heterosexual ally

Zodiac: Capricorn

Appearance: 5’2 African American hourglass body type black curly wavy hair blackish brown eyes chubby cheeks wears glasses 50% of the time (i only wear them when i need to im still getting used to them)

Personality: kind smart funny motherly responsible empathetic anxious emotional moody perfectionist helpful people pleaser caring compassionate nerdy curious protective polite respectful indecisive fearful nervous introvert shy awkward clumsy low self esteem low confidence sassy sarcastic soft spoken (my friends think im cute so ig that counts)

Likes: animals books reading writing fantasy magic sci fi anime cartoons music video games friends alone time learning personality quizzes sweets and bread helping being a part of something bigger than myself

Dislikes: spiders loud sounds people who harm others people who don’t take others into consideration people i care about not taking care of themselves not being listened to weird holes and patterns math and tests

Extra: i pace a lot i sing when im alone i talk to myself im a picky eater i have a cat i have EDS (a hyper mobility disorder) but it’s not extreme i have internal existential crisis

Thank you

Thank you millions for being the first new ask! Now, I did debate between two potential matchups for you because both could honestly work! However, both I decided to set aside for the match I'm giving you. Asra and Julian are pretty easy to match with others given how open they are, but I think you'd actually be much better with the man I have in mind!

I pair you with...

Muriel!

He would never hurt a thing if he can help it. You can see that in every careful step he takes to avoid stepping on something accidentally.

I can imagine him being VERY gentle with your cat. Inanna might scare your kitty at first, but she's also a gentle beast at heart! You're all a big family.

I feel like while the others would push your limits and encourage you to try new things, Muriel is VERY understanding. If you don't like eating something, you will never have to eat it with him as your partner.

Have I explained how cautious and careful this man is? Because he keeps it safe, you don't usually have to worry about him getting severely hurt unless it's an emergency. But, you'll have time to care for him because sometimes he'll need it!

Offer to make sweets/bread with him and he's yours. This man definitely loves eating with you, but baking with you?? That's like TWICE as loveable.

Imagine his surprise when you both wander out in the forest and you're petting a deer. You radiate such positive energy that animals can't help but be so curious of you.

I can't imagine him really being physically affectionate unless you outright tell him you're a cuddly person. He won't be on you all of the time, but he'll cuddle up at night like a big ol tired bear and let you be little spoon.

He really understands your insecurities. He's not a fan of himself either. But it's not just your body he fell in love with, is it? He saw your heart. Saw every good thing about you and fell into a deep and true love. Your body he ended up craving just as much as your love. You'll never meet a man more caring or obsessed.

I really hope you liked this! I thought about it for a little bit but ultimately something in me paired you with Muriel <3

#matchups open #the arcana matchups

[asexual-means-no-attraction]

Buddy help a dude out: what exactly counts as sexual attraction? Because I assumed that EVERYONE was repulsed by genitals or felt like... absolutely neutral towards them, and that people talking about being attracted to them was like...a metaphor? But I've been informed that apparently people actually literally genuinely LIKE genitals??? I don't, never have. The thought of penetrative sex repulses me, oral sex too but less. On a good day I feel totally neutral about genitals and I think that if push came to shove I could be convinced to top someone as long as I didn't have to really look at what was going on, and I could probably give a blowjob / eat out as well. Like it wouldn't do anything for me but as long as it made my lover happy I'd tolerate it. But anyone being anywhere near MY genitals is a HARD NO for me.

But despite these feelings towards genitals and what is traditionally considered sex, I have fetishes? Like I won't go into details because this is already TMI but there ARE definitely things I would like to do and that turn me on, it's just that none of them include genitals in any way. That's still attraction tho, right? Like, I like people of both sexes, I just don't want to have traditional sex with them, but I want to make out and I want to eat get tied up, etc etc, so I'm still bi, right? Cuz a few people have told me that it makes me ace and that I should look into asexuality but??? I'm pretty sure I'm bisexual??

Not sure how long this is gonna be but I'm going to break it up into bullet points cuz I think it's easiest.

-you're attraction to men and women. You're bisexual. Doesn't matter if you have sex or not. All that matters is you're attracted to all genders.

-fetishes are sexual. But not all sexual things involve genitals. There are plenty of sexual activities, undertones, fetishes that don't involve genitals at all. Like sure genitals play a big part most of the time, but it doesn't mean they're the only part.

-I mean??? I've met people who are both enjoy and are repulsed by the exact same genital. You literally pee outta there. It's gross. But just cuz something's gross doesn't mean you can't like it.

-you don't need traditional sex. Full stop. That's not necessary and no one will ever know whether you have it or not. Nor do most people even care.

-not gonna lie. I used to have a shit done of repulsion. Couldn't even look at myself down there. Hard enough to use the bathroom. But my repulsion came from gender dysphoria. So as I've medically transitioned I have found that the repulsion has gone down too. It might be useful to figure out where yours stems from. Not so you can "fix it" but rather it's just nice to know what causes it.

-same topic. It doesn't need fixed. Some people just don't like those areas on bodies. While there are lots of people that LOVE that area, I find a lotta people agree that it's kinda gross down there.

-on a similar note. I don't know what experiences you've had. But I also found I was significantly more repulsed when I didn't have any experience. Not telling you to go out there and do shit. Don't do anything unless you actually feel ready. But exposure I think can help if it's something you want to be more comfortable with. That said, wait till you're actually with someone you feel comfortable with. Don't push yourself. Seriously. If it happens it happens. Don't let it get to you.

-I lump sexual and romantic attraction into each other because the two can't really be separated in a meaningful way. But everything you described sounds like attraction. Attraction can vary from crush to crush and even from day to day. Hence you going from repulsed to neutral is also pretty common. Someday you're into shit others days you're not. Some days you're meh about things and other days super for or against. That's just life.

As a wrap up.

Don't worry. Yes that's all attraction. You don't need to be comfortable with traditional sex to be attracted to people or even have fetishes. It's all pretty normal. Liking shit is normal. Not liking shit is normal. Just do what you're comfortable with and enjoy yourself.

#answered #ask

[iplaywithstring]

hi i hope this is okay to ask, i been recently diagnosed with cfs (past thursday) and my doctor didnt offer much help apart from recommending a change in my diet, exercise and giving me magnesium?

i was reading your posts and i was wondering what "pacing' means? and how do i do that? i feel very new to all this, very very tired (most days i am so exhausted that getting up and showering is very hard) and a bit scared tbh

i hope you are doing well! and if this as is out of place please ignore it! thanks in advance!

This is not out of place at all! These sorts of questions are super important, and unless you've got one of a handful of doctors, you're not going to get the information you need.

(this is going to be long. I'm wordy. I'll try to organize it into sections so you can skim for what you need).

First off, for the advice you did get:

Changing diet: some people with ME/CFS develop new or worse food sensitivities/intolerance. Personally, my digestive system turned into a bit of a mess and I can't eat wheat anymore without regrets. On top of that, a lot of people find that some foods are inflammatory (grains, sugar, dairy especially) and that can make symptoms feel worse. It's a bit of a trial and error thing to figure out, but for me, cutting out wheat, limiting other grains and trying to avoid sugar are worth the hassle.

Magnesium: can help with sleep and with joint pain, but personally I didn't notice much of a difference. That goes for almost any supplement. I highly recommend taking vit D regularly, but that's because most people outside of the equator are low on vit D. Some people have deficiencies because of digestive issues (I'm prone to anemia myself) or find supplementing certain things helpful, but it's really an individual thing. Taking magnesium can't really hurt (unless it's too much), so it's not a bad thing to try, just don't expect a cure.

Exercise: what sort of exercise did your doctor tell you to do? In general, exercise (in the sense of doing activity to raise your hear trate for a specified time and repeating at regular intervals regardless of how you're feeling at the time) is a bad idea. ME/CFS comes with something called Post-Exertional Malaise - PEM - which means that after exertion (emotional, physical or mental), there's a likelihood symptoms will get worse. Raising your heart rate, pushing yourself, and strenuous physical activity is risky. PEM usually doesn't kick in until after the activity is finished (once your body is back to baseline) and sometimes won't show up until a day after you've over done it. Really bad flare ups/PEM episodes are often called crashes (because it feels like you've been hit by a truck).

That said, for some people with mild or moderate symptoms (myself included), a certain amount of activity is good for things like muscle and joint pain. For me that means yoga and slow walking. I avoid getting my heart rate too far above 100 (110 seems to be ok, 120 usually comes with regrets). For people with ME/CFS, things like making the bed, standing to prepare a meal, and sometimes even sitting upright all count as exercise - we can't take anything our body does for granted. When I talk about "active time" that means time doing anything that takes more effort than laying in bed reading.

Which brings us to your question about pacing!

This is a good primer on pacing

Basically it's like fishing in Stardew Valley (hear me out! This is great if you've played it!) You have an energy envelope - that's the amount of activity you can do that feels good and doesn't cause a flare up. That's the bar in the fishing UI. You are the fish. In Stardew, you have to move the bar to keep it in line with the fish, with pacing, you have to keep yourself within the boundary of the bar. The bar will not be the same size or in the same place every day, you have to learn how to read yourself and your symptoms to understand what's going on and what sort of limits you need for the day.

For example, early on in my illness, I had constant tinnitus. It's a fairly common symptom, so neither myself or my doctor thought much of it. It would come and go seemingly at random. It took me years to realize that the tinnitus is a sign for me that I'm reaching the end of my energy envelope! Along with noise/light sensitivity and nausea, that's my early warning system. If I'm dealing with any of those things, I know I need to take it easy and slow down or I risk PEM. This is when I get off my feet as much as possible and try to keep my heart rate low.

The second layer of symptoms for me include temperature regulation - if I'm cold but no one else is, I've probably already triggered PEM, so I need to plan for symptom management for the next couple of days (which might mean cancelling plans). This is when I stop - recline with my feet up if possible, blankets and heating pad, lower sensory input and such. Other things I notice at this stage include brain fog (difficulty following conversations, memory recall problems, trouble concentrating) and dizziness. Basically I'm starting to feel ill - almost like coming down with the flu.

After that comes the actual PEM/crash, which is all of the above, plus pain, weakness, chills, almost feeling like I have the flu. It's awful. When in a crash, I stay in bed (or laying on the couch) as much as possible. Audio books or podcasts instead of watching anything. Keep sensory input and activity as limited as possible for as long as reasonably possible.

Learning to recognize the early signs of the boundaries of your energy is hard to do. There are SO MANY factors - it's not just the physical things you're doing, but temperature, sensory input, emotional state, etc. On a day when I'm relaxed and content and life is good I have a bigger envelope than on a day when everything is the same but I'm worried about something. Having a chat with a friend in a coffee shop uses up a lot more energy than having the same chat on my couch.

It's also tricky because things like cortisol and adrenaline - normal stress hormones that everyone releases in lots of situations - can mask symptoms and make it harder to realize how much a situation is taking out of you. For a long time I thought I was doing great and then ended up with PEM the next day because I went past my limit but adrenaline got me through. Recognizing signs of an adrenaline surge (burst of energy, feeling restless, talking faster etc.) and responding appropriately is important. For me this means that after being in class sometimes I'd come home and go right to bed, even if I felt like I could make supper and hang out with my family.

I use an activity tracking watch to help me manage all of this. Mine is a Garmin Lilly and it has a wonderful "body battery" tracker. I don't know what measurements go into it, but for me, it means if I'm above 80 I'm probably good, if I'm below 60 I need to watch it, and once I'm at 40 I better lay down. It also tracks "intensity minutes" (activity + elevated heart rate) - it wants me to have 150 a week, but I know if I've had any, I need to slow down and pull back on my activity a bit. For me, having the technology to help keep track of things is completely worth it.

Also, you mentioned showering - showering is the worst. It is hard for a lot of people with ME/CFS because it has so many components - standing/being upright (shower chairs help!), temperature change (temperature regulation is a big deal for a lot of us), activity (washing can get your heart rate up) and has a lot of sensory input (noise, heat, tactile sensations all add up). It's ok if you need to shower less and find other ways to keep yourself clean (sponge bath, washing your hair in the sink, whatever).

What I recommend is to rest as completely as reasonable for as many days as you can - low sensory input, sleeping and reclining, not walking around too much. If you can track your hear rate, try to keep it below 100 (unless you have POTS, in which case that will be very hard!) and then start to see how different activities affect you. Keeping track of your heart rate is a good first step if you can, but also pay attention to any sensory sensitivity, nausea or temperature issues. If you notice something that wasn't there when you were resting, pull back a bit. It's SO HARD and feels so limiting at first, but as you start to understand the signs of exertion, you can learn what triggers it and what is manageable.

For example, I've got OI and PH - orthostatic intolerance and postural hypotension. That means that I have difficulty changing positions (going from sitting to standing) and difficulty staying upright. However, by tracking my heart rate and my symptoms, I know that on good days, my OI only kicks in if I'm standing still. So I can walk (slowly, on flat ground) without issues, but standing in line at the grocery store will cause problems. Learning how to recognize that means I can go to the grocery store again, I just need someone to come with me to handle the checkout (usually while I browse the plants).

this is very long. I'll stop typing now, I hope it's helpful!

#me/cfs #chronic fatigue #chronic illness #pacing

[aweirdfan101]

Hi I'm back :3. So, I have another request, so we're like The Lady's twin sister and this event takes place in the moment where Six is aproching Lady to eat her, and we, the reader, attempt to stop Six from doing so, and well, Six eats us instead, so yep, this one's angsty...and again take all the time you need ^_^. Sorry if you don't understand very well, english's not my languange

Of course dearie! It’s nice to hear from you again! Also your English is great! And I am so, so, so, sorry for how long this took. I was working on another request and finally got to his one! I hope you have a good day/night!

About: You, the Lady’s sister. Saves her from getting eaten by Six, but you yourself get eaten instead

Type of writing: Fanfiction, angst, oneshot

Warnings: Death, killing Six..very brutally..

Helping Sometimes Hurts

Y/n’s(your name) POV

I lived in a restaurant type place that I ran with my sister. It was a fairly nice place to dine at, it had a Japanese style theme to it and just generally was pretty fancy. The only downside was the location, it was located in the middle of the ocean. However, it didn’t stop people from coming here surprisingly. I was pretty close to my sister, the main owner, I was the co-owner. We had spent a lot of time together as children and bonded over a lot of things.

I was resting on my side of the ship that was pretty close to my sister’s when I heard some running around at the top of her side of the ship. The top of her side was filled with mannequins that had dresses on them,it was creepy and I didn’t go up there often. On one of the sides of that room there was a dressing type room, it had some mirrors but..my sister doesn’t exactly *use* the mirrors. I was confused by the amount of ruckus so I decided to go and check what was going on.

To be totally honest..I was sort of worried, my sister was the quiet type of person and didn’t usually make this much noise. Suddenly, thoughts began to race through my head. I was always the type of person to overthink everything, but this time something felt off. I couldn’t tell what it was but..I knew something was wrong. I felt myself walking faster and faster per thought that came through my head. After what seemed like years of walking I finally made it to the door that was strangely..wide open.

My thoughts were pushed to the side when I head my sister let out a bloodcurdling shriek and glass breaking. I rushed in and saw my sister, laying on the ground, almost lifeless. I noticed a broken mirror on the ground, someone must of used it. But who? That didn’t matter, what did was helping my sister. I rushed by her side and got down on my knees to see what happened. My sister looked up and for a minute, everything stopped. I looked at her face and it terrified me, her eyes were widened, her expression was so distressed.

I then saw a little girl running towards her and without thinking. I pushed my sister as hard as I could and ended up having my neck exposed. Then I felt pain, someone’s teeth sinking into the back of my neck. I couldn’t think, nor breath. They were biting almost cannibal like. They were trying to eat me, and then my vision went black.

The Lady’s(your sister) POV

My eyes widened, as I saw death swallow the person I shared my life with. I couldn’t help but shriek, anger coated everything in my body. Nothing could calm me down, not unless that child’s brains we’re scattered across the floor. Strength began to pulse through my body, was it adrenaline? It didn’t matter, I didn’t care. I got up as fast as I could and grabbed the girl in a yellow raincoat.

I slammed the girl on the floor repeatedly, I wanted her to feel pain. Feel the pain that I felt, I couldn’t think, I couldn’t comprehend anything other than kill the girl and make her feel pain. Tears painted my face. I stopped after blood was all over the floor and I was more of a mess than I was originally. I dropped the lifeless body in my hand on the floor.

I turned to face my sister. Her taking her last breath didn’t look like how it did in the movies. She looked as though she wasn’t there, shock and fear forever imprinted on her face. I couldn’t deal with this, I couldn’t. I laid in my sister’s arms. Had her wrap her arms around me one last time and lay there. She isn’t dead. Once I walk out the room she’ll begin chasing after me. She can’t be, she isn’t. I wanted to scream, but I couldn’t.

I laid there for hours, not wanting to leave the hug I put myself in. I didn’t leave, I waited for someone to find me. I would never leave myself.

#little nightmares #The lady #sister reader #six #death #brutal death

[sanyu-thewitch05]

Tw: Blood

"Maria, you were gone for so long I almost got worried. I ordered your favorite," Mom says, pushing forward my plate. "Your face is all red, what happened?"

"I'm just tired from practice. We practice every day, after school, and my body is tired," I whimper, trying to not think about Nathan's actions.

"Oh, mija, let's eat and I promise your body will feel like you can dance for days on end," Dad says, drinking a bit of wine. "Salud!"

"Salud!" My mom and I cheer, clinking our drinks together.

"Oh! The baby just kicked!" My mom squeals, feeling her stomach for more kicks.

We eat together and celebrate my dad's birthday. My dad pays the check, and we head back home.

"Your father and I are heading out for a couples ride. You gonna be ok by yourself?" My mom asks, eating Cheetos.

"I'll be ok, I'll be in bed," I answer, waving bye to mom and dad.

My parents pull out of the driveway and drive away.

I walk to my room and notice a figure standing in my room. It moves towards me from the black shadows, and blood starts to drip from it. I back into the lit hallway and see my mysterious figure person.

"Baby, I'm so sorry. I promise I won't beat someone-touch someone unless you ask me to. Just please love me," Nathan pleads, getting on his knees. "I made myself bleed just like Coach Reynolds. Now we're even."

"Nathan, what have you done?!" I scream in horror, looking at the heart he carved onto his chest. "I never-oh my fucking God!"

"Please love me," Nathan whispers, hugging me and getting my clothes bloody. "I promise I'm trying, but without you, it feels like I'm dying."

"Nathan, you need to get help for your injuries. There's blood all over the floor, and me," I say, feeling mercy for him. "I have a medical stitch kit in my bathroom. I can stitch you back together."

Nathan let go of me and follows me into the bathroom. I grab my kit and tell him to step into the shower.

"Tell me if anything hurts," I say, wiping alcohol on his chest and beginning to stitch his chest. "You don't happen to know how to clean up blood from carpets, do you?"

"I do, darling-ah!" Nathan moans in pain.

"Sorry, I'll try to be gentle. What were you thinking? Why do this to yourself?"

"I-just focus on the stitches please."

Usually, he has an explanation for his actions. He must feel really bad or really embarrassed.

"It's ok, you don't have to say anything if you don't want to. I'm all done, just take it easy for a while."

I turn the shower on and wash the blood off of him. He strips his pants, putting them onto the shower curtain bar. He begins to strip my pajama shirt and shorts and put them on the bathroom floor. Nathan grabs the shower head and sprays water on my bare chest, washing his blood off me.

"Princess, do you mind if I make out with you?"

My Yandere and Me

#writing opinions #yandere boyfriend #this is an exerpt from part of my latest chapter by the way #My Yandere and Me #the main character is black #and asexual #writblr

[crazylil-lion]

Honestly its hard to know what to do.

Everyone looks to me like the answer to their problem.

Mom doesn't work says shes trying but shes been saying that for a year. Grandpa is dying. Fast. My little brother still struggling a crazy amount.

Like truthful everything went downhill once I left.

Ik my siblings and my dad wants me to come back.

I think mom realized she can't ask me that. I think she feels absolutely fucking awful about everything about how she treated me and how much money she takes from dad.

I think after I moved away mom realized all the mistakes she made. I think she realized the hate I developed for her.

I can tell in her voice she wants my approval. She wants me to tell her I'm happy with how things are going there.

Idk. Its hard when moving away gave me a huge change of perspective.

To realize all the things I missed. All the abuse and neglect.

To realize how much they needed me.

You know I realized very young I was the one that had to hold the house together. I had to be the one to be emotional support. My dad still takes care of my siblings. He still constantly buys them things. Constantly stops over just to take them out to eat.

He tries his hardest to make them happy and support them however he can.

Truthful I struggle to know what to do.

I wanna make them happier but I don't wanna move back.

I wanna get things in place so I can be away.

Idk what to do because I feel like things are constantly on me. And I don't even wanna live as is.

I feel like happiness for me just won't happen. Like I'm the one that makes other people happy.

But I'm always disposable.

People only care about having their needs met. Rarely does anyone even ask about my needs.

I'm just suppose to be the rock that holds everything together.

The one that supports everyone while getting no support.

I'm just fucking alone tbh. Expected to be this inhuman thing that can handle it all.

Need to be emotionless. Need to workout and be strong to be loved lol.

People say oh no no no. You can have love and be accepted without being muscular but thats not exactly true.

See people talk about body positivity for bigger women. But very fucking rarely like almost never do you see any supportive male body positivity.

I know of 2 posts. Total that really talk about it.

And said people are all more masc presenting.

Irl. Good fucking luck. My point is unless I'm feminine enough to be seen as a "femboy" I'm not masc enough for someone to want me as a male. Reinforced constantly by people.

So yea. Starve. Go cold. Learn to push this need of intimacy so far down that the comfort of razors is enough.

These are the only things I can do to survive anymore. Its easy for people who have had love. Who had emotional support growing up to see themselves having it again.

I can't see that. When the only girls that hmu on any dating app or even here are only trying to sell me their onlyfans.

When I'm just insulted for not being masc enough. Or not looking good in feminine things because im too masc to look good in them. Lol. Just born wrong and too emotional.

Truthfully I'm at a crossroads.

1. Give up. Kill myself as planned in August.

2. Let the hate win. Grow super fucking toxic. Hate everyone stop going out. Stop doing things for fun like xbox and weed.

And instead invest all my time in work. Become rich, do stupid things until I die from them.

3. Continue on this fucked path of trying to get better and have connections with people to only get treated like shit and reminded constantly of how horrible society is. Go to a 2nd therapist and add to my list of medications until I'm so numb I'm not even fucking me anymore.

None of them seem good. And honestly I don't know that I want anything anymore.

The idea of love and intimacy is amazing. But i doubt I'll have it. No ones attracted to me lol. No one really even tries to talk to me. And idk that it would help anything.

Plus I let someone in they see my bpd and my issues poof they gone.

So is it even worth it. Is it worth trying to get to the only thing I've ever wanted when all it does is fucking hurt.

Idk anymore. But I have to fucking decide.

Maybe its time to do some stupid risky decisions and prey it gets me killed. Thatll make me feel alive for a bit right? Maybe it will calm the screaming inside me to play with death. Maybe I'll play too long and be embraced by it.

Oh, self destruction seems like the least painful path.

Seems like thats all I've ever had thats consistently in my life.

Thats pretty pathetic😂

[fahadventure]

Hi! Today I'm going to write about I totally different topic which isn't related to any boring, academic subject, rather it's a very important aspect of life, i.e Fitness. The definition of fitness can be of different types depending on the location, gender, equipment etc. But the special one I am writing about today specially after the coronavirus  pandemic, is Home workout, which is gaining popularity for its comfort, flexibility and easy concept. Though it's comparatively easier, even the simpler ones need some kind of efforts and time. I don't want to talk about the fake promises that most of the advertisements would say you. So if you are up for or living a fit life and see yourself flourish in the next few years with your body and mind, brace yourself, now is the time!

Let's talk about some reality now. I didn't gain my fitness overnight. Rather I started having interest in working out (find a video of me here) in the year of 2017, when I started visiting various places frequently (mostly beaches to get jealous of the beach-fit bodies).  Apart from that I've always been a sports enthusiast having fair share of  participation and caliber in games like football or soccer, cricket, running athletics etc as I was a Cadet. So to be honest, I was always in a good shape physically but not with muscles. In the year of 2015 when I got hurt in knee while playing football,  my ligament got torn after which I had to pause my love for soccer for almost a year. Right after the operation, it was my rehabilitation phase,  where I had to do do some basic leg workouts to make myself capable of playing again. In the process,  that's when my I workout journey began. I've worked out in one of the local gyms for straight 3 years, took a lot of pictures afterwards in my trip in Goa, India followed by the best trip of my life so  for in Koh Phangan, Thailand to celebrate the new year 2020 after which the struggle for Corona started and all of our lives stopped for a while including working out in gyms.

However, as a fitness enthusiast, nothing could stop me from continuing my workouts and I transformed my room as the mini gym, for doing home workouts. Today, the impact of coronavirus has decreased but my home is still the best, most comfortable and most efficient place for me for working out. I still remember that I had to adjust my time for preparing myself, dressing up, going to the gym, performing workouts, having random gossips, then freshening up, start for home and finally reaching my bed for rest which would take and waste a lot of unnecessary times. But now I can do all of my tasks in hand, share the gossips, eat and finally have some more spare time to use productively. Diet is also an important factor, but not the most important one! As, if you workout intensively, without wasting much time, you are already burning and shredding some fats, and if you’re working out less, your mind will tell you automatically to eat less as a matter of fact, unless of course you get addicted to the junk foods. I will write a separate article on it someday.

The best part of home workout is is that you need a very little or close to nothing to start with. I remember starting my initial days using only a towel and I also Googled and found out out many helpful youtube videos  which needed no equipment at all. Later on, I added a push up bar and just two dumbbells and these are all I have now for home workout trainingsplan. Is you are starting fresh, you can look up for youtube videos of home workout for beginners no matter if you're male or female. Some of the my home workout videos and others, using towel can be found in my Youtube Channel.

I have  distributed my home workout plan in 4 days per week.  As Friday  and Saturday are weekends here in my country, I take those days off and choose any of the week days to take rest (mostly  Tuesday). My typical home workout plan includes Leg day on Sunday, Shoulder on Monday,  Biceps and back workout on Wednesday and Triceps and chest On Thursday. Usually I work out for 40 to 50 minutes at a stretch with periodical breaks in between sets and reps. Each of the set includes three reps,  for example if I want to work out on my chest,  I will do do 10 pushups, have 30-50 seconds rest,  continue more 10, rest, continue last 10, rest for a minute, start the next workout, repeat and so on. Head towards my channel to find the glimpse of my home workout video .

So, it was a brief summary of how I started working out in my mind first, took myself to a gym, built passion for it and still continued in the pandemic through home workout. I will discuss more in details about each of them one by one in my next few articles so that you can have a proper mindset to start and carry on like this too. Till then, best of luck & muscle up! 💪

#homeworkouttrainingplan #homeworkoutforbeginners #homeworkoutroutine #homeworkoutplan #Homeworkout

#homeworkouttrainingplan #homeworkoutforbeginners #homeworkoutroutine #homeworkoutplan #Homeworkout

[kingdaddydaichi]

NSFW Alphabet || Katsuki Bakugou

I had so much fun with this! Vodka may or may not have been involved in the making of this little ditty. 🍸 I hope you shameless hussies enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it. 😩

*Exhibit A:

(Source)

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

I feel like he gets clingy asf, but plays it off like it's something he's doing for your sake. He'll probably never admit that he feels so vulnerable after sex, but he does. If it was a rough session - which it usually is with him - he'll ask if you're okay, if you're hurt anywhere, kiss any marks he left on you - he's such a protective hero boi.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

His: he's not gonna lie, he's fully aware of how well-endowed he is. He really is proud of his cock, the way it makes you sing when he works it - and he knows how to work it okay? Favorite non-sexual body part - his arms. He works hard to keep them cut (as in lifting, not cutting). 😬

Yours: listen, Katsuki is an ass man through and through. Go ahead and tell me I'm wrong, I'm 👏🏼 not 👏🏼 listening 👏🏼. He loves to watch the subtle ripples he sends through your ass cheeks when he's driving into you from behind. Also, our big scary boomboom man appreciates a nice, thicc pair of thighs. Bonus points if they're muscular/toned - he loves the way it feels when your thighs have such a strong grip around him.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Let's just say our boy's orgasms are explosive. He cums hard and loud, shooting long ropes of his hot seed. Consistency is about average, not too thick, not to thin, but there's a lot of it. He doesn't taste too bad - salty, but not too bitter. You're more likely to gag from the sheer volume and force of his cum hitting the back of your throat than the flavor.

His precum gets honorable mention here. It's fucking delicious. That is all.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

It took him no less than 2 years into your relationship to tell you this, and if you ever tell anyone he might actually kill you, or at the very least make your ass bleed. He hasn't gotten to the point that he's ready to try it yet, but he's not entirely opposed to the idea of you pegging him. Someday. It kinda does make his balls tingle a little just thinking about it tbh. He hasn't yet, but he thinks he might be ready to try working up to it and is really close to asking you to stick a finger in his ass and stroke his prostate. He's heard how good it feels and he's super curious to find out for himself.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Not very experienced, actually. He's only had 1 or 2 lovers before you, BUT he's determined to be #1 at everything. Couple that with how perceptive he is and you've got yourself a winner of a loverboy. He's going to make damn sure that, even if things don't work out between you two, he will always ALWAYS be the best you've ever had. No other man will outdo him, E-V-E-R.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Doggystyle all the way, baby. As stated before, he loves watching your booty jiggle every time he slams his hips against it. He gets off on spreading your ass cheeks to watch his slick-coated cock slide in and out of you. God he just loves hitting it from behind, makes his dick so fucking hard.

Bonus 2nd Favorite Position (couldn't help myself): you on your back with your ankles on his shoulders, your ass lifted off the bed, him on his knees and hugging those thick thighs of yours, keeping them closed as he reams into you. (Slight variation of this one: he leans over you, nearly folding you in half, putting you back on your shoulders with his hands pressing into the mattress beside you, angling you such that his prominent corona rubs over your g-spot as he drills down into you. 10/10 you're gonna scream his name when (not if) your liquid gushes all over him.)

Tell me the truth, am I a disgusting human being? Here are all the fucks I give:

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Bakugou is serious asf about his sex game. This is not the time to joke around or poke fun at him, understand me? If you do he will get pissed and either fuck the silly out of you, or if he's feeling particularly ruthless he'll just stop altogether and let you ache for him as punishment until you beg him for release.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He takes care of his body, paying a lot of attention to his hygiene, which includes manscaping to keep his pubic hair trimmed and kempt. The carpet's just a shade darker than the drapes, like a honey blond. If he lets it grow out, it sticks straight out just like his head hair. It's actually kind of funny and he hates it.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

*sigh* Let's be honest. Katsuki is not the super romantic type, at least not outwardly. However, if he realizes something he's doing is hurting you - physically or emotionally - he's going to stop dead in his tracks and hold you close, push his fingers through your hair, and tell you how much he loves you and how safe you are. He can be rough and he can be an asshole, but if he thinks he's genuinely hurt you at all, he's all over you, doing everything he can to make you understand that he will never let anyone hurt you, especially not himself. Got that?

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

He doesn't jack off very often. You two share a very active sex life so he doesn't see the need to. If you have to be apart for more than a day or two, he'll rub one out. Or if the need hits him particularly hard and you're not available or in the mood, he's not above closing his eyes and reaching into his pants to wrap his thick fingers around his cock and start tugging.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Lord Baby Jesus, where do I even begin? Kinky, kinky Katsuki. This man should come with warning signs and disclaimers.

First of all, he dom asf okay? Even if he lets you play with his ass someday, he's gonna be bratty about it. He's going to top from the bottom, hashtag facts. And trust that he WILL own you afterwards to securely reestablish his dominance.

Giving and Receiving: Hair pulling. DIRTY TALK - you think he's got a potty mouth in the streets? His mouth is downright filthy between the sheets. Loves it when you dirty talk right back to him. "You love taking my fat cock, don't you princess?" "Mm yessss, fuck me, Katsuki! Your cock feels so fucking good babyyy!" He eats that shit up.

Giving Only: Degradation. Praise. Spanking. Cockwarming. Dom/sub/power play. Shibari/ropework (he tried it bc you wanted to and he fucking loved it). Creampies. Begging. Discipline. Ravishment.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Literally anywhere inside your home/homes - bed, bathroom/kitchen countertops, kitchen/dining table, office desk/chair, any piece furniture is fair game really, up against a wall, washer/dryer, the fucking floor, ugh just all the places to fuck. Not one square foot is sacred tbh.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Wear something that showcases the curve of your butt. Doesn't have to be revealing per se, matter of fact he'll get possessive as fuck if you're showing too much skin in public. At home/privately though? He can't help himself. Dat ass tho...he is going to smack it hard enough that it stings and that's final, understand?

Tease him. You can't be obvious about it though. If he senses that you're doing it on purpose, it'll just backfire. But if you just so happen to brush against his crotch when you squeeze past him, it'll drive him crazy. Go commando in short shorts/skirt and cross your legs just so, his dick will twitch. Even better if you do shit like this in public where you know he won't act on it. But when you get home you best believe he's going to dick you down so hard, won't even bother to take said shorts or skirt off.

His ears and neck are his most sensitive erogenous zones. Whisper in his ear or kiss his neck and he's going to grit his teeth in an effort to fight back the shudder that threatens to rattle his bones.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Let's get one thing straight. Katsuki Bakugou does not share. This is non-negotiable. He will not agree to anything involving additional people - cuckolding, threesomes, orgies, exhibitionism, voyeurism (unless it's him watching you pleasure yourself - that he will gladly do, and probably start palming himself in the process).

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Loves giving and receiving. Giving puts him in full control of your pleasure, receiving makes him feel like you're worshipping his cock, which you probably are. Have you seen this man's cock? Of course you have. Gatdamn.

Y'all, Katsuki's so good at eating pussy. Like how does one get that good at eating pussy? I don't even know, but god the way he flicks his hot tongue over your precious, tiny bud before wearing it down like a fucking feed bag? It's unnatural. Like it could be his backup quirk if blowing shit up doesn't work out. You've seen the way he licks his lips when he gets excited, everyone has.* He doesn't even bother swallowing while he's feeding on you so you just be dripping in slick and saliva and he's just slurping away. It's lewd.

*See Exhibit A above.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

You already know this, but I'll say it anyway. His go-to fucking style is fast and rough, dominant and relentless, hard and dirty. But every once in a while he'll want to take you slow and deep and passionate. He'll hold you so tight in his arms and chest, you'll have to tap his shoulder sometimes to let you breathe. And he'll just roll his hips so fucking thoroughly both of you will feel every last inch, his pubic bone rubbing your clit so hard. You've told him so many times how much you love it when he makes love to you like this, but he maybe makes it a rare treat on purpose. 😈 Little shit.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Quickies are difficult for our boy. It's not that he's against them, it's just that he savors every drop of sensuality, he has a tendency to draw the pleasure out as long as possible. He can’t help it.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

The idea of having public sex turns him on, but he's only done it with you a couple of times when he was 10000% sure you wouldn't be caught. He can't risk doing anything that would tarnish his reputation and goal of becoming the #1 Hero. He might be freaky as hell, but he needs a sex scandal like an Alaskan needs a refrigerator.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

He loves you long time. He's a Taurus for fuck's sake (well, Aries/Taurus cuspie, but that just sweetens the deal). Great stamina. Grinds you down like a whetstone. Can last as long as he needs to to ensure you cum for him as many times as it takes for you to beg him to stop. If he feels himself getting too close while you're blowing him, he'll stop you and go down on you instead. If he's inside of you, he'll pull out and start kissing all over your body, sucking, nipping, licking until his urge to cum passes, then he pushes it right back in and keeps going.

If on the off-chance he does cum before you, he'll be ready to go again in about 20-30 mins. Just give him some motivation, he deserves it.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

He didn't own any toys when you first got together, but you did. He hated the idea of you using them though, especially when he's right there with you. You've since assured him that you don't want to use them to replace him, but to enhance the pleasure. So now you do use them from time to time.

The first time you managed to coax him into using a toy together, it was a small wireless bullet with a remote. When you brought it out and showed it to him, there was a wild glint in his eye. He carefully inserted the vibrator into you, his cock slowly following suit. He loved the fact that he had complete control over this thing, but later complained because the sensation of it against the head of his cock made him cum too fast. He still wants to use it sometimes though. 😏

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Oh he can be so unfair. He loves teasing you until you're begging him to put his cock inside you. He's not so much into orgasm denial per se; he just loves to hear you beg him for shit - to let you cum, to suck his dick, to stop fucking you when you're overstimmed, etc.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Lol he's fucking LOUD! And he's going to make you cum so hard that you're screaming his fucking name. There was a time when one or both of you lived in an apartment and the neighbors would bang on the wall behind your headboard.

Shit, what sounds does he NOT make? He growls, moans, grunts, groans, yells, swears, fucks you so hard you can hear the wet sound of slapping skin, hell even the bed protests. Another reason he doesn't fuck in public - he can't stay quiet enough to be discreet about it.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Okay, as much of a wild sex beast as he is behind closed doors, he gets embarrassed so easily when your sex life is so much as hinted at around others. It's legit funny how flustered he gets about it.

If he goes into work real tired and Kirishima says, "Hey Bakubro, you look like shit this morning. You and (y/n) stay up too late?" while doing the finger in the hole gesture, Katsuki will just "Shut the fuck up, Shitty Hair, or I'll blast your ass right through that fucking wall!"

Or if you two go out together with friends and the girls are talking about sex-related stuff, Katsuki will just roll his eyes and try to ignore it. But if one of them is all "So, (y/n), does Bakugou ever like accidentally let off explosions while you're doing it?" and you wink and say, "Only when he's especially *cough* frustrated *cough*". Katsuki will go red from his neck up to his hairline and start stuttering, sparks flying from his palms. "H-hey, d-don't tell them sh-shit like that! I-it's none of their god-goddamn b-business, (y/n), what th-the f-fuck?!" Meanwhile, you and the girls are in stitches while he stomps away, just mortified, bless his heart. When you catch your breath from laughing you'll follow it up with, "Looks like tonight's gonna be one of those nights", and you all lose it again.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

As has been mentioned, Bakugou's well-endowed. I figure he's packing about 7.5-8" in length x just under 2" wide. He takes some getting used to, that's for damn sure. Oh, and he's more of a shower than a grower. Like around 6" long x 1.5" wide when flaccid. Katsuki + sweatpants/basketball shorts = swinging dick print, alright sis? Take notes, this motherfucker visibly jumps when he does, class dismissed.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Eh, he's surprisingly not ridiculously horny. Maybe a little above average sex drive? A lot of times hero work just takes it out of him and he comes home utterly exhausted and just needs a soft place to land, and you provide him with all the love and nurturing in your heart. ❤

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Depends, really, on the time of day and what type of day it's been. If it's late (like past 9pm lol) and he fought more villains than usual that day, he's probs gonna pass out pretty soon after. If it's earlier in the day - especially first thing in the morning - it gets him pumped and almost comically genki.

#i'm disgusting #loveitorleaveit #katsuki bakugou #boom boy #katsuki bakugo x reader #katsuki #mha katsuki #bnha bakugo katsuki #katsuki smut #katsuki bakugo headcanons #katsuki bakugō #bakugou katsuki #katsuki bakugo imagine #katsuki x y/n #katsuki x you #bakugou #alphabet #katsuki dropped a bomb on me #bombshell #katsuki thirst

[not--oki]

Best recovery tips? And Self-Care Mentality Tips!

TW ED RECOVERY CONTENT BELOW

Stop giving a shit what people think. Because unless your weight is giving you health concerns, the number isn't what influenced you to develop an ED. It was probably your desire to be treated better or viewed as more beautiful by conventional society.

Remember that the older generations are always dying, and our societal standard of skinny=better will probably die out for a while too. It's not really worth shortening your life for a beauty standard that isn't sustainable. Right now the "fit" body type is trending, and that will change too.

Never use food as a reward or punishment. It's nourishment for the meat sack we're stuck in. Listen for a hunger cue and pursue it.

Don't go crazy with food, again. You do not want to risk going from 4n4/m!a to BED or ortho. Lots of folks go from restricting to going all out with food, or perfectly measuring every portion and counting every calorie to be in a normal range. That's BED and orthorexia kids.

Love yourself if you can. But it's really fucking hard sometimes. BUT don't beat yourself up. When you start to think negative thoughts like "I'm ugly, I don't deserve to eat, I ate today so I need to starve later" just stop. Tell that negative voice to shut up. As soon as you notice that tell yourself something positive instead. Even if it's completely unrelated tell yourself your nails look great, you did good at work/school, anything.

Stay in your own lane. Hard to say because some of you want to take care of everyone. Stop wasting energy on other people when you need to turn some of that energy towards yourself. Focus on yourself and healthy progress.

If support will help you, get support. If you are surrounded by abusers or narcissistic people... I would advise to seek outside support (online recovery buddies are great, if someone relapses it can suck and trigger the other person tho) or if you think you can go alone, try that.

Genuinely stop caring about how someone might view your body, and don't obsess over other people's body. See a person that gives you skinny envy? Push that thought away. Look at their hair or smile or something else. If you're judging heavier people that is just rude, and even more toxic. People of all shapes and sizes are just trying to comfortably exist in their bodies without judgement. Once you stop caring about other people's bodies, it's easier to see that most normal people don't care about your body shape either.

If someone is negative towards your recovery progress, give them a no bullshit answer. "I'm eating because I'm trying to take care of myself." "I gained back weight I lost by eating like a normal person" "if you're unhealthily focusing on my body and what I eat maybe you need some help Barbara"

We all had low weights. There isn't really an optimal recovery weight, and recovery is not linear. You may mess up for a while and that's okay.

It might feel like a comfort blanket, but hide or get rid of your thinspo and and any pro contant on social media. Unfollow Eugenia, throw out the baby food unless you have a lil gremlin. Etc.

If you dont change your mindset, you'll never recover. Ever.

As you get older bodies change. Seems like common sense but once you hit your mid-late 20s, you start to see the changes. Don't freak out, don't relapse. Your body is trying its best to function and defy gravity on the daily. Your arms, chest, butt, whatever are not going to look the same at 18 vs 28.

I am currently 21 and kiiinda freaking out because my bods always been exactly the same, and I'm seeing teeny tiny changes I don't like. For the first time getting old seems scarier. But I have to breathe and remember the only person who really cares about that is me. My body is doing good at keeping me alive, and I'm trying to appreciate it more.

I am not in recovery at the moment but I have been before. I'm in a weird in between phase. If I trigger you, block me please.

#🦋 tips #ed recovery #ana recovery #mia recovery

[yanderenightmare]

Hello. I hope you're doing okay. I know this isn't a thirst and I'm sorry for bringing this out during thirst hours. But I was recently introduced to the yandere community and I recently found your blog and I just want to say that I liked almost everything I've read so far. I was hoping you'd tell me if I'm qualified enough to be someone's darling. I'm quite shy at first getting comfortable with others takes a long time for me. I'm not clumsy unless I'm extremely sleepy. I can take care of myself most of the time. And I hate violence even if I get hit I don't hit back on principal. I'm also really sensitive and emotional and I have been diagnosed with depression. The littlest of things gets to me some times. I do prefer to be on my own listing to music or reading. I love learning new things. Swimming is the only sport I do. A few have told me that I'm a good listener and that I give good advice. That's about it I guess I'm a pretty boring person in all.

THIRSTS!

goodiebag WARNINGS: nsfw, dubcon/noncon, degradation, condescension, corruption-kink, dacryphilia, manipulation, gaslighting

BAKUGO KATSUKI - KACHAN

Bakugo would love to get his grubby hands on you, and when I say on you, I mean all over you. Don’t expect him to be sweet though. You don’t hit back? That’s hilarious. What of when he holds you down, pushing himself on top of you in the bed, pinning your wrists to each side of your head, kicking your legs apart, all for his calloused hand to stroke up between your thighs and play with what cute perfection found there. You’ll cry for him at least. You’re sensitive, aren't you? Bet you can’t even cum without crying. He’ll have you doing both for hours. You’re so cute with how shy you get, your face all flush and red, your hands trying to cover yourself up, trying ever so gently to push at him, yet too soft-natured to do much of anything except lie there and take all that he wants to give you. He knows you like it. Your little body loves when he flicks his tongue over the little bundle of nerves placed like a cherry on top of his desert between your legs. Don't try and deny it, your adorable choked moans tell him all he needs to know.

DABI - TOUYA TODOROKI

You wouldn't even dare hurt a fly, would you? Would you feel sorry for him? Would you cry for him? Would you share your own troubles, your own heartbreak, serve it up on full display, share your heart, all for him to tamper with and poke fun at? Would you grace him with your sweet comforting words despite the cruel sadistic smile he flashes at you each time he taunts you so much you collapse in on yourself? Would you hug him close, give him a shoulder to cry on, would you fall right into his trap? People like you are too soft to be living in this world. Too sweet, too tasty, the world eats you up and spits you right back out again. Don't worry though, Dabi might be cruel when scolding you for being such a foolish gullible sensitive thing, but he would never change you, you are his foolish gullible sensitive little thing after all. 

YANDERE ! MIDORIYA IZUKU - DEKU

You’re lucky Izuku was the one to find you first, if it were anyone else they’d do such horrible things to you. But you’re safe with him, he’ll insist on it as you scurry into the corner of the room, hugging yourself close, balling yourself up, peeking up at him through a curtain of hair and a waterfall of tears the first time he brought you home. He loves how soft you are, so sweet, so perfect for him. What with your small shy smiles, those flickering looks you give him, how you turn red even as he does something as chaste as kissing you on the forehead. That outmost adorable nervous laugh you give when he compliments you, the squeal you give when he picks you up. He swears he just wants to eat you up sometimes. And he knows you think all you want to do is curl up on your own with a book, but he’s adamant on convincing you otherwise. Soon you won't want to spend a single second away from him, he’ll make sure of it. It’s only fair you become equally addicted to sleeping by his side as much as he is in return.

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