#i keep coming back to ace attorney though.. ace attorney.. she’s my abusive ex I keep hooking up with….

[olivereactsaboutgarbage]

One Piece Chapters 121-129

It’s December now! The month I claimed would be the month to finally have consistent daily posting (I mean I said the same thing about October and November but I was lying those times so it doesn’t count)! The month of holiday festivities! The month where I have to try and remember what was happening in One Piece last time I read some of it! The month of the exorcism.

Chapter 121 - I Knew

Oh right, the princess was watching everyone die or something. Now I remember. Those punks... they killed the Chocobo!!!

Oh, when he puts it like that, Wil Wheaton makes it sound less like “bounty hunting” and more like “abusing a glitch or exploit in order to not have to worry about earning money while you’re doing your speedrun”.

What happens next is that Wil Wheaton promotes his favorite Netflix show:

Nami and Zoro get turned into birthday cake decorations. I could have sworn I’d seen a screenshot from the anime before where Lufpy was a birthday cake decoration, but maybe I’m just wildly misremembering.

The large alcoholic reveals that his decision to defeat his manly friend in battle was a matter of pride, not ignorance--but now that he’s even less ignorant, he wants to kill Wil Wheaton! This makes Wil Wheaton’s friends behave aggressively.

Also, Lufpy, Usopp, and the Chocobo are ready to get back up and keep pressing on. Hooray for Chocobos! Not that I’ve ever played Final Fantasy.

Chapter 122 - A Dead Body is Useless

Bleurgh, Wil Wheaton’s power is so nasty... I don’t want to think about a Wil Wheaton sword piercing my flesh. I’d totally get a blood infection. I’m glad I’m not a large alcoholic right now! By which I mean what’s happening to the large alcoholic is totally like that one Danganronpa death. Y’know, that one.

...I swear I’m not obsessed with Danganronpa, I just happen to mention it a lot in my One Piece write-ups...

So what’s happening right now is that Nami, Zoro, the princess, and the large alcoholic are all damsels in distress, in the same way that beloved Ace Attorney character “Herlock Sholmes” was a damsel in distress in the third chapter of the second game with him in it. A princess being a damsel in distress? How cliche! ...Wait, actually, I think that’s already what she was, prior to this birthday cake scene. Well, that aside, Zoro uses vague platitudes to try and inspire the large alcoholic to action.

Zoro also declares that he will now cut off his legs, and...

Okay, that’s pretty good. Zoro has made yet another joke, and his power level has thusly surged forwards.

Just when Zoro was about to actually go through with it, he gets saved by a Goofballs ex Machina--a rare inversion of the typical Zoro ex Machina. What a shame, I actually would have liked it if Zoro stopped having legs... that would’ve been, like, disability representation or something.

lmao i see zoro is too much of a Cool Guy to yell people’s names, even when it would lend coherence to a sequence of panels

Chapter 123 - Luffy vs. Mr. 3

Hey, 3 is what comes at the end of 123!!! What a nice confluence of chapter number and chapter title. Not that I know what a “Luffy” is.

Oh, y’know what? This but from the front was the anime screenshot I saw someone post when I was like 14. I misremembered Zoro as Lufpy because Lufpy is normally the one who would be pointing at the sky. ...I guess Lufpy wouldn’t use a sword to do it, though.

Penny Nichols has a nice picnic for some reason. I think I was calling her Penny Nichols? Well, if I wasn’t, now I am.

Wil Wheaton locks up Lufpy’s feet in Shackles But Grosser, but this, as anyone could have predicted, only increases the potency of Lufpy’s Foot Fetish Moves. Which allows Lufpy to rescue Nami, Zoro and the princess more effectively.

However, even after punching Wil Wheaton into the stratosphere or what-have-you, he still seems to have reached an insufficient maximum effectiveness with which he is rescuing them. This is due to a lack of will, not a lack of ability. How mysterious...!

Chapter 124 - The Tea is Good

It turns out

...no... NO... I LET IT BACK IN...

...Excuse me for a moment. I have obtained a new method of expunging this demonic presence:

Excuse the black markings on the above panels. You’ll have to put up with this for a few days until the process is complete and I have regained my ability to utter... that phrase... without losing my grip on the threads that tie me to the mortal coil. Or, ideally, perhaps I won’t slip up again until the danger has passed.

Wow, I don’t remember that one being in Sonic Colors! ...Or maybe it was, and that’s why he shoved Tails into that elevator that one time.

The princess is the only person who realizes how to solicit Lufpy’s assistance, thusly once again proving that Competent Womanhood is a status that can only be held by one individual at a time, and overexposure to Lufpy has tragically removed it from Nami.

...Okay Penny Nichols might be my favorite villain so far. I like her design AND her gimmick. None of her colors seem to line up with the ones from Sonic, but I’ll forgive that minor continuity error.

You wouldn’t be saying that if you knew the sheer amounts of power Zoro derived from his jokes, Princess.

Usopp calls the Chocobo a good duck because it’s good at dodging, but there’s bad news headed his way: A gun!

Usopp also lights Lufpy on fire, which is good, but something bad also happens: Usopp catches on fire, thanks to... uh, whatever I was calling the male member of whatever team he’s from.

WHY IS LUFPY JACKED???

Chapter 125 - Candle Champion

oh NOOOOOO is Wil Wheaton coming back?! D:

Sanji is coming back.

Wil Wheaton comes back too. :(

WIL WHEATON HAS A MECH???

Wil Wheaton asks Penny Nichols for help. She agrees, on the condition that she gets to take a nap. Wil Wheaton tells her to skip to the part where she’s taking a nap, because he’s already unbeatable without her help. I hope this is the means through which Lufpy and the gang overcome Penny Nichols once and for all.

Woah, the princess has adopted the role of Competent Woman so hard, she’s Competent even in death... oh yeah everyone’s dead I think I forgot to mention that

It turns out

hngh... GAH...!!

Humanity restored.

Anyway, what I was trying to say is: Having hair that’s on fire is a really strange choice for someone whose ability is disabled by fire to have. Maybe his hair is the only thing keeping him alive? That’s scary. I’m glad I’m not Wil Wheaton. If I were Wil Wheaton, everyone would hate my Star Trek character and then I would end up having to play myself on Big Bang Theory!

oh this is at LEAST as fetishy as any special move lufpy has ever used if not moreso

OH LMAO LUFPY HAD THE SAME THOUGHT THAT I DID ABOUT HOW WIL WHEATON’S OWN HAIR DISABLES HIS ABILITY

I guess noticing people’s fashion sense is one of Lufpy’s character gimmicks that I haven’t commented on much up until now.

Using Usopp’s cleverness, Lufpy engulfs all his friends in flame! Uh, except Sanji I guess. Sanji is still busy engaging in the process of coming back.

Chapter 126 - Instinct

...Was Nami always barely-clothed in this scene or is the idea that her clothes burned up in a big fire?

Usopp uses one of the terrifying master’s tricks: Pretending one kind of bomb is a different kind of bomb. Wait, but the terrifying master was an awful boss! I thought better of you, Usopp.

The explosion guy whose identity I forgot tries to get revenge about this, but Zoro prevents that by lighting his own rice pun ablaze. Powerful!

OHHHHHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOOOO THERE’S AS MANY OF WIL WHEATON AS THERE ARE CHAPTERS OF ONE PIECE??? That sucks, because Wil Wheaton is gross!!

It turns out

FUCK

Humanity restored.

As I was saying: Lufpy was able to overcome the army of Wil Wheatons by simply overcoming it.

While Sanji’s enjoying some tea, a basket starts ringing like a telephone. It turns out this is because there was a telephone in the basket, but even with that said: That may have been the most JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure-esque thing ever to happen in One Piece.

Oh, the person calling Sanji was Mr. Zero by the way.

Chapter 127 - Snail-o-phone

Oh yeah, also the telephone was a snail.

The large alcoholic is suddenly even sadder about his manly friend being dead. His manly friend is suddenly not dead. Well, that settles that, I guess.

Wait... is Penny Nichols ACTUALLY gonna get unceremoniously ignored? Is that why we’re getting arc wrap-up stuff now? What’s she up to at the moment?

Steve Buscemi ends up impersonating Wil Wheaton too well, and gets attacked by animals. Oh yeah, I meant Sanji by the way. You can determine for yourself where in that sentence I meant to say “Sanji” but ended up saying something else instead.

The joke’s on animals though, because animal cruelty is quickly

turning out

to be Sanji’s specialty. Huh? Did something happen just now? No... I think it’s fine.

Anyways, Mr. Zero can’t abide animal cruelty, so he plans on killing Wil Wheaton, by which I mean Steve Buscemi, by which I mean Sanji, by which I mean “too well”, the thing I accidentally said instead of saying Sanji.

That aside... Sanji now has access to the banana that will send him to Mr. Zero.

Chapter 128 - Pirate Pride

Ah yes, the palindrome cop and her cop boss who eats various things in various ways. ...Well, they exist!

hey why’d zoro get to keep his shirt? fire got rid of lufpy and nami’s shirts, why didn’t it get rid of zoro’s shirt? i bet there’s a lot of people out there who would have liked it if something happened to zoro’s shirt... wait is he still covered in blood under his shirt? never mind actually

As for why the princess also didn’t lose her shirt... that’s obvious. Boobs Hypnosis is just that powerful.

Is Sanji... alright... in this panel...?

He says that as if it’s new information to him, and not something he’s been incapable of shutting up about this entire time. Ah, Sanji... your Sanji Points are... so resplendent, yet so fleeting...

No context shall be provided.

Anyway, the giants want Lufpy and his crew to not die. That’s nice.

Chapter 129 - Straight Ahead!!!

Nami regains her Competent Woman powers, doubling the number of Competent Women. Incredible! However, this was extremely bad timing, as we are now in a situation where Competence is anything but a virtue. It’s time for the power of friendship to overcome Competence.

It does that.

Now some random fish has a big hole in it.

It turns out

Guaaaaaah...! Nooooo...!

Humanity restored.

Oh, so NOW Zoro’s shirt mysteriously goes missing. Couldn’t have gone missing when everyone else’s did, huh? It had to wait until NOW to go missing. I get it. Zoro’s shirt is like the type of FREAKING HIPSTER (!!!) who plays Undertale in 2018 instead of 2015. Zoro’s shirt is now the worst member of Lufpy’s crew. It has even fewer Sanji Points than Sanji or Usopp.

Someone is wearing birds. Meanwhile, it turns out the Competent Woman Counter is going to have to drop back down to 1, because Nami is like, dying

#one piece #is what i'm consuming #IT TURNS OUT

[genoc1d3r]

my turn to cry - thoughts on 3-1b

ok this has actually gotta be my favorite chapter cause holy shit so much stuff happened.

I played the Alice/kanna route and afterwards I watched a vod with the reko/shin route in which ranmaru and naomichi died before the banquet, so BIG SPOILER WARNING FOR BOTH ROUTES

Mafia Princess Sara??: Ok so first off, back in the beginning of 2020, I had a theory that Sara was a mafia heiress and that the death game was supposed to be something to “prepare” her. And that her memories were wiped or she was initially supposed to be kept blind to this whole thing (In 3-1a when everybody saw the consent form for the very first time everybody felt a sense of deja vu, except for Sara. Because why would they need her consent when she is the sole focus of the game and it’s all for her) This theory was mainly supplied by my confusion surrounding the hiring of Kai, cause why would mr Chidouin hire a former assassin to protect her?? How did he even know Kai??? But yeah, the whole thing with Shinobu Gokujo and deciding a new don through a death game just adds a lil more validity to this theory.

Sara’s real father: I also had a mini theory that Gashu Satou was her real father, but that was mostly cause of their hair color and how it would def make Sara’s hair color make more sense genetics-wise (but kai has black hair, so its most likely that his mother had black hair, which would also disprove this mini-theory but yk im not here to prove it just talk about it). And that Gashu knew of Mr. Chidouin and gave Sara to him, and it would also explain why mr Chidouin chose Kai of all people to look after her and why Kai could only watch her from a distance, in case she realized the truth that he was her brother/half-brother or something. 

GREENBLINGS CANON AAAAAAAA: I love this, I love this so much oh my god. Now I can replay and cry after 2-2 cause nankidai hates us :’). I dont have an issue with this specifically, I’m just a bit bothered by how the whole thing went. There was some buildup yea, and the cg with kanna, kugie, and shin was amazing. And that lil bit about nice hallucinations made me tear up a bit. But, then everybody kinda just moved on? and idk this whole chapter was a fuckign roller coaster I could barely keep up.

Autistic Gin <3: I’m autistic myself and I have seen many characters who are autistic-coded or exhibit many signs of autism but have never been straight up confirmed (Ex: Vera Misham from Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney). And even then, these characters usually share similar personality traits like being aloof and reserved. So it’s nice to see that Gin is representing autism in a relatively realistic manner with his hyperfixations, vocal tics, and issues with socializing. Even after nearly dying like 17 times he’s still doing well and I genuinely wish for his survival and happiness.

Ranmaru’s death: Both of Ranmaru’s deaths, (if you or if you don’t fail the electricity absorption minigame) the death feels so... off? I was really attached to him as a character, yet his death didn’t impact as much as Joe’s or Nao’s did. During his Banquet death, one second he had his really cute smiling sprite but then whoops oh no guys weird drill screw thing kills him (again). I still can barely comprehend it because it all just happened so fast. Like no cg or anything. I was honestly kinda disappointed. The “delayed” one does a better job at his death scene, but again, it was wayyy too quick and completely dismissed as everybody just moves on to defeat Maple 2.0. I at least would’ve appreciated a better transition than Midori just saying “well anyways–”

 Ranmaru’s extremely quick descent into madness in the shin route: I actually liked this idea of Ranmaru willing to go to such extremes for Sara. However, theres barely time for any of this to develop? Like again, everything just happens so fast??? I would've definitely liked if there were little hints around before the body discovery that ranmaru was gonna do something like this, just a little time for development would really be cool.

Mr. Policeman/Mr. Tazuna???: After I finished, I actually looked on the wiki to see if it said anything about his son that he mentioned and I found this: 

But yeah thats cool

The thing about Q-taro: I’m gonna say it now, I’ve liked Q-taro ever since the aftermath of 1-2, and Q-taro haters have added absolutely nothing to this fandom. Everybody saw him as a child-hater, I see him as a guy who’ll do anything to survive and succeed. I mean that wish is kinda what got him into the death game. And yeah he did try to leave that one time, but that’s what getting thrown into traumatic killing games does for you, most people don’t want to die, they want to live, no matter what it takes. We can’t all be the main character and choose to cooperate with everybody and be the “good” person in that situation. Even Sara has those extremely selfish moments and those intrusive thoughts of winning and leaving. 

This whole thing should also be applied to Ranmaru. Ranmaru has gone through so much shit in such a brief amount of time, to the point where he was considering to/actually kill people to escape with the one person he trusted in this hellhole. In that situation, Sara’s kinda at fault here, cause without Joe she’s lost her sense of morality which resulted in her becoming selfish and well... honestly kinda toxic. This emotional manipulation is really what set Ranmaru off, however it was 100% his decision to fucking kill somebody and murder’s bad. Still love him though.

But back to Qtaro, I really enjoyed the extra substance given to him in this chapter, it’s nice to see the development from being selfish to feeling deep remorse to protecting the dolls of the first trial victims, most notably Mai. As he completely forgives her for stabbing him. The chapter did a great job at fueling my already intense love for Q-taro (and it actually convinced my best friend who claims to hate Q-taro with every bone of her body to like him too!) I also love the father-son dynamic between him and Gin. I find this relationship to be really important cause Gin’s father is an abusive alcoholic and Q-taro’s an orphan who’s never had a proper role-model in his life. So it’s beautiful that despite not having anybody there for him when he was younger he can still be a good figure for another child.

Predictions/hopes for the next part: 

I just want to see whether Shin already knew about Kanna being his sister, and if he doesn’t I want a reveal. Right. Now.

A Ranmaru/Joe/Q-taro/Kai/ “Hinako” revival, p l e a se  they died so soon

More info about the people involved in the Hades Incident/Shinobu Gokujo

More info regarding Meister

Sara going on Maury

Who tf is “Hinako”????

I really hope that there isn't any specific good/bad ending. Like I want every ending to be equally bad and good yk? like equal consequences and good stuff.

Yo wtf happened to Sara’s mom?? Is she gonna come back and play a more important role in the story?? Are her parents gonna come back as floor masters???

I want things to actually change  depending on whether you picked Alice or reko, cause so far they’ve played extremely minor roles.

#3 1b spoilers #yttd #yttd spoilers #q taro burgerberg #sara chidouin #ranmaru kageyama #joe tazuna #gin ibushi #kai satou #keiji shinogi #alice yabusame #reko yabusame #shin tsukimi #midori yttd #kanna kizuchi #greenblings #sou hiyori #mai tsurugi

[renegadewangs]

Ace Mindhunter - 3rd Interview

Characters: Simon Blackquill, Athena Cykes, Shi-Long Lang, and a rogues gallery of AA villains. Fandom: Ace Attorney. Pairings: N/A. Warnings/rating: 16+, I would say. Talk of heavy themes such as death and abuse, plus cursing. Spoilers for every AA game up to Spirit of Justice, AAI2 included. Gratuitous amounts of headcanon for antagonists. Summary: Simon Blackquill is roped into a Behavioral Analysis project along with Athena Cykes. They must sit down with convicted murderers for interviews, in hopes of finding out just what drove them to their convoluted crimes.

3rd Interview Furio

Date: June 11th 2028 Time: 4:34 PM Location: Interpol H.Q. - B.A.U. Office. “Frank Sahwit. A burglar who was caught in the act by the owner of the apartment he'd broken into. He killed her in a blind panic, then shifted the blame onto her ex-boyfriend. He gave testimony about it in court and everything.” “No.” “Hmm... Cammy Meele. She was a flight attendant, but also a member of an international smuggling ring. She helped move things across the border. When an Interpol agent showed up to check the cargo hold of a plane, she panicked and shoved him so hard that he fell off the side of a flight of stairs. She tried to hide his body and when it was uncovered by accident, she scrambled to pin the blame onto a colleague. Looks like her cover-up was blown before the police could indict the wrong person.” “... That is even worse.” “Lucky number seven, then! Richard Wellington. A small-time con artist who mistakenly thought a police officer was on to his scams. He killed the cop, framed the cop's girlfriend, then hit the girlfriend's attorney over the head with a fire extinguisher just before the trial. … There's Mr. Wright's name again. I'll have to ask him about this one.” “The subject meddled with the court process, hm? We're getting warmer. The scammer has earned himself a spot on the consideration pile.” “We don't have a consideration pile yet. Only rejections.” “Then, by all means, start one.” Athena cleared some space on the desk they were meant to share, then placed Wellington's folder in the center. The rejection pile was a substantial one, the pile of profiles yet to be assessed had dwindled so badly that they had very few options left to them. Was this the best Lang could provide? “Next we have...” Athena reached for the assessment pile and opened the top folder. “Florent L'Belle. Eww...” “Pass,” Simon said and for once, he had Athena's full agreement on the matter. One more for the rejection pile. Athena ruffled her hair in a frustrated manner and Simon leaned back in his chair, staring up at the ceiling. There were a few water stains there, perhaps even mould. Interpol would spare no expense when it came to their investigations, but they must not have thought very highly of their Behavioral Analysis Unit if it were condemned to a shoddy basement office. Athena reached for the next folder and flipped it open. “Looks like we're moving on from petty criminals to the big leagues, now. Paul Atishon. I remember that guy... He was a corrupt politician who made a deal for a national treasure with Khura'in's Minister of Justice, then panicked when an archaeologist with an actual moral compass impeded that deal. He killed the archaeologist and at first made the death look accidental, then attempted to shift the blame onto a revolutionist when he got into hot water about it.” “Was that murder premeditated?” “Sure, but there was a lot of clumsy improvisation involved. I don't think there was a single strong thought going through his head beyond wanting to win some dumb election he was in. He was trying to live up to his grandfather's name, though, so that may be... something.” “... Consideration pile.” “Then, how about Redd White? Former CEO of Bluecorp, but also a blackmailer on the side. He killed a defense attorney who had the evidence necessary to expose him and shifted the blame onto her little sister. Looks like this one was definitely premeditated. He roped his secretary into his lies, even though she knew he was the real killer.” “Hnnn...” “Simon! You have to stop being so picky! If you keep shooting every possible interview down, we might as well give up!” If he was being truly honest with himself, Simon was torn on that concept. He'd been selected for this project without his knowledge and his cooperation had, to some degree, been coerced. Spitballing with criminals who'd already been judged felt out of place for a prosecutor. A more productive way to spend his time would've been to return to his usual cases. That way, he could put more of these killers behind bars. Still, there was always that possibility that their research could bear fruit in the long run. That he could apply the insights he gleaned from it in the courtroom. Perhaps the profiles they compiled would serve to sharpen his sword, allowing him to prevent wrongful convictions, or even the crimes themselves. Aside from that, there was a very tempting reward at the end of this road. He would have to trek his way through the mud to reach the Phantom. “The next one, perhaps,” he said, tearing his gaze away from the ceiling and back to Athena. “D'accord! You'll love this one, I'm sure of it! Dahlia Hawthorne, convicted for the murder of her ex-boyfriend! There's two murders that everyone suspected she was involved in, but they couldn't prove it in court. Then a few more counts of confirmed attempted murder and-” Athena broke off quite suddenly, then groaned and tossed the papers aside. “Says there that she's already been executed. They must've given us her file by mistake.” Simon could almost feel his will to keep breathing leave his body. Almost. Distraction came in the form of Lang, who had entered the room so quietly that Simon hadn't even noticed him until he was standing right next to them. Though not exactly giving off a warm glow, he wasn't in a sour mood either. He was, if anything, pleasantly courteous. “Well well, if it isn't our part-time shrinks.” “Please refrain from using that word,” Simon said to him. “What, part-time?” “Hmph.” “Good to see you, Shifu,” Athena called cheerfully. Simon bit down on his feather, the muscles in his jaw straining. “Shifu?” “That's what everyone around here calls him! Didn't you know?” Athena chuckled, then pressed a fist against Simon's arm. “Don't worry, just because he's my shifu doesn't mean you can't be my sensei.” Simon opened his mouth, then closed it again. “How goes the hunt?” Lang asked, perhaps changing the subject on purpose. Athena propped her elbows up on the desk, one hand playing with her earring. “We're having some trouble selecting our next target. Most of the profiles we were given don't meet our criteria.” “Or they're outright deceased,” Simon snapped, waving a hand at the profile in question, which had been scattered across the floor by Athena's fling. “Let's see... Dahlia Hawthorne, huh? Sorry about that. Some people say her vengeful ghost still roams the courthouse. Maybe that's how her name got in there.” Lang gathered up the papers as he spoke, then clutched the folder under his arm and stood upright again. “What have you got from your first two subjects? Anything useful?” “Dee Vasquez and Roger Retinz are difficult to compare,” Athena mused. “Mr. Retinz's murder was carefully planned out, Ms. Vasquez's was a spur of the moment thing.” Lang shook his head. “We already knew that. I'm asking what you found out.” “The Diva Producer's murder has some stains of sexism on it, but they are just that. Irrelevant stains. She took a life because she was threatened, then covered it up because she believed she had done nothing to deserve the punishment in her future. Her remarks suggest that the target of her frame job was chosen out of convenience, not out of spite.” “Hmm.” “As for the Greasy Producer, he suffers from a very typical form of narcissism coupled with internalized insecurities and self-loathing born from childhood abuse. The most-” “Not so fast!” Lang stood up a bit straighter and for the first time since Simon had met him, he looked confused. “Don't narcissists think they're God's gift to the world? How can a guy be a narcissist and still have self-loathing?” Simon sighed and raised a hand to the bridge of his nose, pinching it. “You are not familiar with the concepts of implicit and explicit cognition?” “Uh.” “Explicit cognition,” Athena began, using a slow pace as she sorted out her words, “is something that a person does consciously. Like, say... Explicit memory is when you study for a test and try to memorize all the important things. You remember things because you make an effort to remember. Implicit cognition is a subconscious thing, like associating a certain smell or taste with a past event. Basically, implicit cognition influences a person's behavior, even when they themselves have no conscious awareness of it.” “To summarize, the Greasy Producer's explicit self-esteem is high in order to compensate for the implicit self-esteem, or lack thereof,” Simon concluded. “Though, he confessed to us as Mr. Reus that he is aware of the implicit issue. He did refer to himself as a 'fuck-up', in the end. He's simply unable to remedy the internal disorder and that leads to further chaos.” Lang leaned himself against the side of the desk and as he attempted to move his hands into his pockets, the Hawthorne folder almost slid out from under his arm. “Right. Okay, I get it. That's great stuff.” “While different in most aspects, Retinz and Vasquez did share one important similarity,” Athena pointed out. “They both believed that their victim deserved to die.” “And was that belief misguided?” Lang asked. “In Mr. Retinz's case? Definitely. But I'm not so sure when it comes to Ms. Vasquez. Did the police ever find out whether that Manuel guy was murdered or not?” “Dunno. I could ask around, but since the supposed killer is dead, opening an investigation now would be a waste of law-enforcement's time. Lang Zi says: There's no use crying over spilled milk.” Simon frowned and Athena clicked her tongue against the roof of her mouth. That was as far as either of them was willing to go when it came to ancient plagiarism. Spilled milk, indeed. Lang paused and glanced down at the pile of folders left on the desk. “So what's these criteria you have for interviews?” “We certainly cannot use too many of these blind panic murders,” Simon said. “If you wish to diagnose the illness which is plaguing this city, we ought to be focusing on the composed planners. The grand names who stood tall even within the prison walls. Gavin, Gant or Alba, perhaps.” “I'll let you talk to someone like Gant when I'm sure you can walk away from that with your heads held high. This unit hasn't exactly got much of a reputation for itself and the last thing we need is for the inmates to think we're weak little pups.” “Can you at least think of some inmates who went out of their way for the frame job? Like Mr. Retinz did?” Athena asked, once again playing with her earring. “... Yeah. Yeah, I got one. He should be in the archives somewhere. Poisoned a guy's coffee, then hid the body and acted out the murder all over again in disguise to fool witnesses. As soon as the blame was shifted onto some innocent waitress, he disguised himself as a defense attorney and botched up her trial on purpose.” “Warte ein moment... I think I heard about this.” “I'll bet you did.” “Mr. Wright's name sure keeps popping up in a lot of these cases...” Athena drummed her fingers along the desk, narrowed eyes directed towards the far wall. “What was that guy's name again? Umm... Cheeto...” “Furio Tigre,” said Lang. ------- Date: June 12th 2028 Time: 2:00 PM Location: Interview Room. Simon still remembered their next subject quite well. Tigre had been one of the loudest inmates in death row and that reputation was sure to continue until his execution. Any attempt at anger management had failed and so, the guards had instead allowed collateral damage. The amount of times they'd had to carry a broken desk or splintered fragments of a cot out of Tigre's cell, Simon couldn't count. It'd been once a week, perhaps. With that in mind, Simon steeled himself to protect Athena from physical harm. He also knew that he might have to lower himself down to Tigre's level in order to be heard. The door from the prison side opened and Tigre was led inside by two guards, each holding onto one enormous arm. Almost ten years in the clink and a ripe age of 51 had done nothing to break down the tough guy demeanor. He was tall and broad in every sense of the word, but not exactly untainted. His spiky black hair held streaks of white and a scar ran across his left eye. Worst of all, his skin was tinged with a spray tan so unconvincing that it would make Klavier Gavin look as if he’d genuinely spent due time in the sun. When it came to the presence of artificial tan within prison walls, Simon had stopped asking such questions long ago. That this man had ever attempted to pass for Phoenix Wright was laughable, but not as laughable as the knowledge that the entire courtroom had been fooled. “I AIN'T TALKIN' TO NO FEDS, YOUSE HEAR?!” he was shouting with such ferocity, Simon could feel the ground shudder. “GWOOOOAAAARRR! GET YOUSE HANDS OFFA ME, OR ELSE!” The therapy animal which entered behind them was so small and quiet, Simon wouldn't have seen it if he hadn't known to search for it. Once Tigre had been settled down in his chair, the two guards backed away with such apprehension, it was evident they expected he might require more restraining. Perhaps he would've, were it not for the immediate change in his attitude when his eyes landed on Simon. He smirked, fingers curling around the edge of the table and nails digging into the wood. “Well well weeell... If it ain't our old jailbird. How's life on the outside been treatin' youse?” “It has been treating me quite well. Certainly, I can get a night's sleep without being disturbed by raving fruitcakes such as yourself,” Simon responded, which was both a truthful statement and an attempt to put his foot down. “Watch yourself, Tweetie! Just 'cause youse got outta here don't mean I can't still break youse kneecaps! Where do youse get off, actin' all high and mighty?! You think youse better than us, huh?!” “As I did not truly stain my hands with blood of any kind... Yes, I believe I am.” “Feh! Youse stained your hands plenty! Just look at how many of us youse had tossed in here! We shoulda strung youse up so high not even your little bird could reach your carcass!” Simon had no immediate comeback to that. Believing he was on the same level as every single killer in the clink was the sort of weight he'd carried around plenty over the past seven years. Now that he was recovering, he couldn't very well allow Tigre to push him right back into that mindset. Even so, it was true that some of residents in death row had been moved there by his hand. “You need to stop your bellyaching!” Athena snapped at Tigre. “Who do you think you're kidding? You've got nothing else to do with your day, right? Then you might as well answer some questions for us!” Not at all fazed by her words, Tigre squinted his eyes at Athena. Then he glanced towards Simon. “What's dis, then? Youse need your girlfriend to hold your hand? I was expectin' a loser like youse to die a lonely virgin.” Simon was no stranger to the sharper sort of prison tongue. Even so, he felt an overwhelming sense of humiliation and raised a hand to his face. The last thing he needed or wanted was for anyone to believe Metis Cykes's daughter was his girlfriend. He wouldn't want the inmates to think that his partner for this project was his girlfriend, either. Such a thing could be very damaging towards the interview process. As for Athena herself, she kicked at Tigre from under the table, causing the man to yelp and jump up from his chair. The two guards were by his sides immediately. “I said cut the crap!” she yelled at him. “We're here for a serious project and if you won't participate, we'll walk right out of here! You can spend what's left of your miserable life all by yourself and nobody will be around to hear you scream!” A dreadful silence fell. Just as everyone else in the room, Simon found himself staring at Athena and never before had he seen a more formidable foe. The last thing he'd expected was for his investigative partner to lower herself to Tigre's level, certainly not in order to defend him. It hurt his pride more than the notion of 'dying a lonely virgin' ever could. Tigre seemed unnerved, this time. A single drop of sweat ran down his temple. He wrung his hands together and sat back down. “All right, all riiight... Women, right? So what's dis project?” Athena set the recorder down on the table and began the usual speech of the Behavioral Analysis Unit and their intended questions. As she did so, Simon watched Tigre go from tense to bored, then finally to lost. Perhaps the words had been too formal for his mind to comprehend. “Uhhh. So you're gonna do a pop quiz?” he ultimately asked. “Something like that. And we'll be recording it, if that's all right.” “I dunno about dis... Dat sounds like an invasion of... y'know, privacy.” “You don't need to do this if you don't want to,” Athena assured him. “Well, all right. I'll do it as long as I knows I don't gotta.” Athena frowned and sat back in her chair. If her impression of Tigre was already odd, it was nothing compared to what happened next. The man leaned down to pick something up from the ground and set it down in his lap. It was a hairless chihuahua, dressed in a pink jacket so bright that it could veer straight off the known color spectrum and phase itself out of reality. Simon knew better than to stare. Athena did not. “W-What...?” she asked. “GRAAAGH! What're'youse lookin' at?! Youse never seen a dog before?!” Tigre roared at her. The chihuahua in his lap trembled, but not because of the volume. It was simply a standard setting for the animal. “Of course I have! I just wasn't expecting...” “Youse take your eyes offa Mitzy right now, or youse can kiss your interview sayonara!” “Jeez, sorry!” Athena hastily began shuffling through her papers. “Let's just get started with some standard questions.” “And you will answer the lady with due respect, lest I slice your tongue from your filthy mouth,” Simon said, now that he'd finally found his voice again. “Yeah yeah...” Athena cleared her throat. “You're originally from New York, but you moved to Los Angeles when you were 28, is that right?” “Uhhh. I dunno. 28 sounds about right.” “You don't remember how old you were?” “Who cares how old I was?! What's dat change, huh?! If I moved, I moved!” Simon wondered whether the defensive attitude was hiding a far grander secret. If it were, they wouldn't get it out of Tigre too easily. They would need to manipulate him into it, just as they'd manipulated Retinz. Athena must've realized the same thing, for she proceeded towards a different angle. “So what made you decide to move in the first place?” “Damn, talk about nosy questions...” Tigre huffed loudly, then raised a hand to the chihuahua's head to pet it. He must've been quite gentle, as the tiny and fragile creature didn't so much as flinch at being stroked by enormous fingers. “I moved to L.A. because the people here are chumps.” “Chumps?” “Sure. Couldn't start a good loan company in a place like New York. Everyone's all wisened up to it. But here in L.A.? Hah! People are desperate to live dat big Hollywood dream!” Athena stopped to take a few notes. As she did, Simon decided to try and take some lead in the conversation, or else be completely emasculated. No other inmate would take him seriously if that were to happen. “What of the family you left behind?” he asked. Tigre frowned. “What about 'em?” “Were you still in touch with them? Would you return to New York for the holidays, perhaps? I would assume the Tigre family gathers 'round a nice, dead antelope for Thanksgiving.” “Grrrrr... I told youse to watch yourself, Tweetie,” Tigre growled at him. “What do I care about family when I've got a business to run? Holidays were a huge cash-in moment. Lotsa new loans goin' out, too. Everybody wanted to buy their missus a new sports car, see, and then another one for de mistress.” “Not even a season's greetings was sent to New York, then?” Simon asked, only to receive a deadpan in response. “You did have family, did you not? Or were you perhaps raised by a pack of tigers in some Brooklyn back alley?” “ARE YOUSE MOCKIN' ME?! WHY, I ATTA SMACK YOU SO HARD-” “Hold it, hold it!” Athena called, raising both hands to try and put a stop to further argument. “We're getting off track, here. Let's talk about something else instead, all right?” Tigre seemed content to do just that and Simon made sure to shoot a grin his way. “This whole story about how you murdered Mr. Elg and why you did it is really complicated. Do you think you could explain what happened in your own words?” Athena asked. Somehow, the question seemed to irritate Tigre. He tisked loudly and glared towards the wall. Following that, he ran his fingers along Mitzy's head, then under her chin as he spoke. “I needed money, see. On account a' Viola's operation. And it was damned idiotic. I had people all over town owin' me money, but none a' those losers could pay up. Not a dime! So I met with Elg, see. He was gonna gimme some fancy schmancy virus I coulda sold on the black market for millions. It woulda paid off my debt to Viola's family just like dat. Then as we're sittin' there, havin' our coffee, dat wise guy goes and wins the damned lottery! 500,000 big ones! He woulda paid off his measly 100,000 debt and left me in the lurch, see. It was the millions I needed. Way I figured, that was what he owed me for keepin' me waitin', too. Interest, y'know. So I killed 'im and took the virus.” Simon felt that there was quite a bit to unpack, there. Far more than they currently had time for. They'd have to pick this apart piece by piece, just as an attorney would cross-examine in court. “You killed a man because you believed he owed you more money than he truly did?” he heard himself ask, despite knowing deep down that was hardly the best approach. “What about it, huh?! You wanna go?!” Tigre grabbed at his prison uniform with both hands, looking just about ready to rip the fabric. What that would accomplish, Simon had no idea. “Stai calmo,” Athena said. “Let's take it from the beginning. You mentioned something about an operation for someone named Viola?” “Y-Yeah...” Tigre was back to absentmindedly fiddling with Mitzy now, his fingers adjusting her jacket. “Was she your girlfriend?” “No- Well- See... Viola's from a real influential family...” “The Cadaverinis, I believe,” Simon supplied, once again throwing a smirk Tigre's way. “They are the biggest mob family here in this 'chump-filled' city. Should one disrespect a Cadaverini, one will find themselves wearing concrete shoes at the bottom of Los Angeles River. If I recall correctly, this tiger sitting before us crossed Viola Cadaverini's car in the most unfortunate way possible and she did not walk away unscathed.” Tigre's eyes narrowed into a ferocious glare. “So... Wait, Mr. Tigre wanted to pay for Viola's operation because he was the one who caused the accident that hurt her in the first place?” Athena rubbed at her own chin, looking doubtful of the story. “Listen! I had to pay!” Tigre shouted at them. “Ol' man Bruto woulda had my head if I didn't! Those damned Cadaverinis! They think they can just make a guy do anythin'!” Athena raised a hand to her chest and closed her eyes. Widget was glowing a bright yellow through her fingers. “... You didn't feel bad that someone ended up in the hospital because of you?” “I had the right a' way! She was the one who didn't look before zooming into the street! And I was the one drivin' a scooter! If anyone shoulda been hospitalized, it woulda been me! But nooo, I got lucky on account a' my helmet and she has to go crack her skull on the steerin' wheel! How's that my fault, huh?!” For a split second, Simon thought that Furio made a good point. If indeed he'd had the right of way and Cadaverini hadn't been paying attention, it would've been hard to fault him for the accident. Then Simon remembered just who they were sitting across and came to the conclusion that the only victim of this story was Viola Cadaverini, who would be fooled by such a despicable man. "She wouldn't just let it go, either!" Tigre was still raving on and on. "Me bein' sentenced to death still wasn't good enough! Dat fuckin' BITCH tried to poison me while I was in here! What, just 'cause I tried to take care a' her?! Who cares if I loved her or if I didn't?! I was doin' right by her by tryin' to pay off dat hospital bill and givin' her a job and shit! Now she's snatched my damn business! Tender Lender was MINE, you hear?!" Athena drew a deep breath, Widget still emanating a yellow glow. Knowing what that color meant, Simon placed his arm on the table and leaned in towards Tigre. "If you don't cease your caterwauling this instant, I will have you muzzled!" "Up yours!" was Tigre's response, though he simmered down all the same. A nimble shake of the head, then Athena continued. “So you took Mr. Elg's virus by force, as it was the only way for you to pay off the Cadaverinis. Could you not simply have stolen it without killing him?” “What, and have him come for me with a buncha coppers? I woulda been the prime suspect once he'd figured out the virus was missin'!” Athena squinted, then turned her gaze towards Simon. He couldn't quite fight off the smile that was dawning on his face, so he allowed it to flourish there. When at last it became clear that Tigre wasn't seeing the problem with his logic, Simon took delight in sharing just that. “Forgive me, Tony Tiger, I must ask,” he prompted with mock delicacy, acting as if he were speaking to a toddler. “What sort of fool would report to the police to inform them that a powerful computer virus, crafted by his own hand, has been stolen? I would daresay that producing malware is an even worse crime than lifting the CD it is on. Had you taken it from him by force or through an underhanded ploy, such a weak man would not have been able to do a thing to prevent it.” Tigre looked dumbstruck, another pearl of sweat rolling down his face. Simon could swear that the spray tan was mingling into it. Three seconds of silence, then Tigre was roaring yet again. “GRRROOOAARRR, YOUSE MOCKIN' ME! I KNEW IT! DAT'S IT, I'M OUTTA HERE!” Sure enough, Tigre made to stand up, cradling Mitzy firmly with both hands. The two guards looked quite uncertain. Athena rose to her feet as well, darting forward to block Tigre's path. Simon was by her side immediately, ready to shield her, should there be a need. Fortunately, Tigre's hands were so full of chihuahua that he couldn't land a punch even if he wanted to. “Wait, wait, just one more question!” she insisted, spreading out her arms. “... What?” “I can understand why you might re-enact the murder to establish an alibi and shift the blame for the murder onto someone else. But why did you...” she trailed off for a second and Simon could swear she was fighting off amusement. “Why did you impersonate a defense attorney? Wasn't the phony murder already good enough to have Ms. Byrde convicted for your crime?” “Pssshh, please. Just 'cause I was a humble loan shark, you think I hadn't heard about all those miraculous turnabouts that kept happenin' in court whenever Wright was involved? I couldn't risk havin' him figure out the murder I set up was a sham.” “Hold on... Are you saying you did it because you felt threatened by Mr. Wright?” “WHO'S THREATENED?! YOU SAYIN' I'M A COWARD?! NOBODY CALLS ME CHICKEN! JUST 'CAUSE HE'S GOT A NICE, COZY BLUE SUIT AND A HALF-ASSED LAW DEGREE, YOUSE THINK HE'S BETTER THAN ME?! WRIGHT'S GOT NOTHIN' ON ME! I COULDA FLATTENED HIM LIKE A PANCAKE! I COULDA SNAPPED HIM IN HALF LIKE A TWIG! FUCK HIM AND HIS LITTLE GIRL SIDEKICKS!” “I was only-” Tigre wouldn't hear any more, instead snapping at Simon. “And YOU! Tryin' to make me out like some kinda idiot! HAH! You really do think you're better than us, movin' right from prison into some big ivory tower on your high horse! If dis is how your little science project works, good luck with the rest of the killers in here! The guards are gonna be scrapin' your guts offa dese here walls and I will fuckin' laugh and LAUGH!” Much as Simon yearned to spout a comeback, he knew that it would be a pointless battle. The only way for him to come out victorious was to be above Tigre's rage, for being dragged down by it would take him to depths he'd rather not see. He crossed his arms over his chest and met the man's gaze with fierce eyes of his own. “Mr. Tigre, please don't-” Athena attempted, but it was no good. “GOOD DAY, MADAM!” Tigre stormed from the room so fast, the two guards had to rush after him in a panic. The moment the door slammed shut behind them, silence fell. Simon stopped the recording device and began to gather up his papers, a feeling of uncertainty nagging at him. Had they just single-handedly ruined the interview? What would Lang say when he found out about this? “... As always, Tony Tiger allowed his emotions to get the best of him. Had he been able to channel his anger into something productive, he would've led quite a successful life,” he remarked, if only to lighten the mood. Athena stared at him. “Simon... Did you seriously not get it?” “Get what?” “Mr. Tigre... He was never angry. Not once during the entire conversation. He was afraid.” “Afraid?” “Afraid of the Cadaverinis, afraid of Mr. Wright, afraid of our questions... I think he was even afraid of what you think of him, now that you're acquitted.” The notion was so backwards that it took a long time to truly sink in. When at last it did, Simon found himself walking away from the prison with a smile and a light, bubbly feeling in his chest. To Be Continued

#my fanfiction #aa #aa spoilers #simon blackquill #athena cykes #AA mindhunter

[brxknqce-blog]

Rules

1. This blog is:

Semi-Selective: Everyone is welcome to follow, however I might be a bit choosy about whom to follow back. IM and inbox are openfor everyone though, so feel free to drop by.

Multiship: I’m a shipping whore and open to any sort of relationship, from platonic to romantic. If you’re interested in shipping, ask away. In the off-chance I say no to a ship, please DO NOT try and force a ship. In Canon Verses, romantic relationships will be exclusively with Akira Kurusu / Persona 5 Protagonist muses, both male and female. With the way I write him, I can’t really see this muse falling for anyone else but Akira in those verses. Regarding platonic relationships and AU Verses, however, consider this blog multiship. I headcanon my muse as homosexual, so romantic ship will occur only with other male muses (the only exception are fem!Akira muses).

Multiverse: Interactions with different muses tak place in a different verse, unless it’s agreed between muns to have a group RPs in which multiple muses interact with each other in the same verse, or the mun has a multimuse blog or various rp blogs and wants to have their muses interact with mine in the same verse. Same goes with shipping, each ship takes place in a different verse, so there’sno cheating involved.

OC-Friendly: OCs and Self-Insert muses are more than welcome! There’s an entire verse dedicated to Persona OCs, so if you want to join the party, feel free to, you’ll be welcomes with open arms!

Crossover-Friendly: Muses from diffeent fandoms are more than welcome here as well. I might take a little longer to follow back in case I’m not familiar with the fandom it comes from (see rule #20 for fandoms I’m familiar with). Like above, there is an entire verse for Crossover characters, especially if you have a Persona 5 AU verse.

NOT Ship-Exclusive: If we ship our muses together, you’re not obliged to be exclusive with me, especially given my muse being an AU. You’re free to ship with whoever you want to, and that includes other Goro muses. It’s fun to see how differently a muse interact with the same individual roleplayed by someone else. 

2. I’m 21+ and open to RP smut, which will be tagged and put under ‘read more’ if necessary, as long as the other mun is at least 18+ and comfortable with it as well. At the same time, I’m more thanokay if you’re not comfortable with smut, just let me know.

3. If I say no to a ship, please don’t try and force said ship on me.

4. I’m not much comfortable with teenage/adult romantic relationships. There might be exception to this rule if our muses seem to have good chemistry, but by default my muse’s relationships with adult muses will be strictly platonic. Even in case it were to become a romantic ship, I’d rather the age different be no more than 10 years between our muses.

5. No godmodding (controlling my muse yourself) unless we both discussed the plot of the thread/RP via IM beforehand and you know how my muse would act in that specific situation.

6. No metagaming (using knowledge of someone’s muse that a character has no way of knowing) outside of dash commentaries.

7. Do not reblog my OOC posts, Rules, About, Verses, Headcanons, Tag Dump etc. or threads you’re not involved into. Seriously, it's annoying as hell, so do. Not. Do. It!

8. IM and inbox are open for anyone, be it for plotting, asking random questions IC or OOC or just chatting and getting to know each other. I love to plot and chat via IM/Discord and will not hesitate randomly popping into your IM/inbox. You have been duly warned ^^

9. Speaking of which, I’m okay with RPing via Tumblr IM and Discord as well. If we’re mutuals, feel free to ask for my Discord-ID. It’s easier to reach me there than on Tumblr.

10. I don’t care about reply length, just write whatever you feel like. Mun is perfectly okay with one-liners, para, multi-para and drabble-length replies, whichever floats your boat.

11. When you reply to a thread/RP, please tag it with this blog URL if you can so I can be notified when you reply, since she happened to have lost threads because either her or her RP partner missed each other’s reply.

12. Please let me know if you want to drop a thread or RP, and at the same time I will let you know if I want to drop a thread or RP.

13. Triggers will surely be present given the game rating, the muse and the setting of this blog and will be tagged accordingly as ‘tw:’ (ex. tw: blood). Trigger warnings will be tagged even if mentioned. If you have a specific trigger you’d like to have tagged, just ask away.

14. Speaking of triggers, I don’t really have any, although I get uncomfortable about topics like divorce, child abuse/neglect and domestic violence. They’re not triggers for me, but I’d be grateful if you could still tag them for me.Thank you in advance.

15. I’m also not really comfortable RPing angst. Hurt/comfort is okay and my go-to type of thread, but angst isn’t really my cup of tea. Given the blog’s contents, it might be present, but I’ll tend to keep it down to a minimun unless I really feel it and the thread calls for it.

16. I’m always happy to turn asks into threads, so feel free to let me know if you’d like to turn a specific ask into one.

17. This is not a spoiler-free blog, given it takes place after one of the game’s endings and reveals major endgame spoilers, and spoilers will be left untagged unless they’re in regard to another fandom. To avoid non-Persona spoilers, look for the rivers in the desert [spoilers] tag.

18. No hounding/pressuring for replies/answers. I won’t do the same with you and asks the same courtesy from you. If I haven’t replied for a while, you’re welcome to ask me via IM. Chances are I’m busy with real life (I’m an university student currently finishing my last batch of exams necessary to get my degree), my computer/phone don’t work, I need more time to come up with a proper reply or I’m working on my other RP blogs. If you don’t find me there, you’ll surely find me over at my personal blog, @delphine-le-dauphin.

19. I’m up to interacting with duplicates, so if you’re another Goro mun and want to interact, you’ll be welcomed with open arms. I love multiverse mayhem XD

20. Regarding crossovers, here’s some of the fandoms I’m into and know very/decently well:

Harry Potter

Pokemon (mainly games)

Other Persona games (including spin-offs such as Arena/Arena Ultimax and Dancing All Night)

Ace Attorney (the whole series, including Investigations, except for Phoenix Wright vs Professor Layton)

Fairy Tail

Naruto

Artemis Fowl

Danganronpa

Ouran High School Host Club

X-Men Movies

Marvel Cinematic Universe

Lollipop Chainsaw

Ace Attorney (this one I’m still getting acquainted to though)

21. I headcanon my muse as an abuse survivor that went through various forms of abuse (emotional, physical, sexual...) in his backstory, so be warned that there might be mentions of rape / sexual assault, child abuse / neglect and bullying, always tagged as explained in rule #13, but never explicit scenes, as I myself don’t like writing / RPing such scenes.

22. For more rules / psas, look for the oasis in a singer land [psa] tag.

#heart and mind [rules]

[dad-power]

My Story, Part 4

Author’s note: None of this is meant to be mean or vindictive, but a true and accurate accounting of what has happened after My Story, Part 3. It’s been almost 6 years since I posted Parts 1-3.

Catherine’s mother and I have always had a decent relationship since she left two and a half years ago. We’ve been able to co-parent effectively and keep civil. I wouldn’t say we were friends, but we would send each other pics of our daughter, go to her birthday parties, chat frequently via text about her, etc. We got along great and as far as co-parenting, we were doing a lot better than most exes.

Imagine my surprise when, a few days before Christmas, I get served at work with a custody suit. She was going for full custody of my daughter plus child support.

Up until this point, for virtually our daughter’s entire life, we’ve shared custody. It’s been equal, 50/50 straight down the middle. The way it should be. Study after study shows it’s the best way for children to get through a separation. Except for cases of physical abuse, drug use, etc., I’m a huge believer in shared parenting. Why not?

Back when we were working on our parenting plan and had it nearly wrapped up, she said she was going to run it by her female attorney friend to dot the “i’s” and cross the “t’s”. I begged her not to because I knew what would happen. Female divorce attorneys will not stop until you are living out of your car.

Meanwhile, I had been going through some financial troubles. My ex-wife takes a big chunk of my income in the form of child support. My salary is in the high 5 figures. With taxes, support, SS, and medical, a whopping half of my salary is gone before I see my check. This is what I am up against.

Money matters are not something you want to make public. But it wasn’t because of a drug-fueled spiral; I simply didn’t make enough to live on my own after everything was taken from my check. When I show people the numbers they all understand and are totally sympathetic to it. The numbers don’t lie. Most of them were surprised I wasn’t living out of my car. 

She sent me an email explaining her reasoning. In a nutshell, she said I’m unfit to parent because I’ve run into financial difficulty. She also doesn’t like how I parent in general.

I begged over and over via text and email for her not to take any more support because it would put me in a worse situation than I already was. I asked her how taking this would be beneficial for Catherine. How would taking more of my income away with 3 kids benefit our daughter? Ironically, in her pleadings, it stated I wasn’t able to care for Catherine financially, but here she was, taking more money out of my paycheck. It didn’t make any sense. I was met with no reply to these questions, and finally, an email threatening harassment.

I’m a great dad. I don’t do drugs, I don’t stay up all night playing video games, I don’t party, I rarely drink. I have a steady, stable career and have only changed jobs twice in the last 20 years. I love my kids more than anything. They are my life. I just want to be left alone to raise them the best I can with the resources I need. I am not a crazy and unfit parent.

So now it probably looks like she has done a heroic thing: Rescuing her daughter from her horrible, drug-addled Daddy who can’t get his shit together. I am sure this is what everyone thinks. The reality is quite different. There are always two sides to a story.

A little history

Back in 2011, we met through my sister and had a fun, whirlwind relationship. Then she abruptly broke up with me after 4 months. No real reason, she just got tired of it and said we weren’t a good match. 

There were no hard feelings, and since her job as a real estate agent wasn’t producing, I helped her get an internship at a major ad agency where I had worked for almost 10 years. Then she told me how she was flirting with the 70-year-old CFO of this agency several times and secured a full-time job there.

I thought it was strange that she was constantly coming by my desk chatting with me, and I was very close to telling her to leave me alone, but...

... one afternoon she came by my desk with a note that said she was pregnant. In all honesty, had no idea who the real father was because she had broken up with me, telling me to give her “space” and was hanging out with her ex-boyfriend, calling into question the paternity. She claimed it was mine and I believed her, but at the same time, her actions did not make me trust her much. I found her ex-BF’s contact lenses in her guest bathroom while we were “dating”, and there were several other odd occurrences like that. None of this is meant to be ugly, but it was happening and I had no idea what to think.

But we carried on as friends and I was glad she had a full-time job. At least she would have an income. Despite my instincts telling me to run away, I stayed friends with her. Despite my friends and coworkers advising me to tell her to go away, I stuck with her. I was not going to abandon her and our child. 

We started getting closer, and paternity was established. We hung out every weekend at my house, working on the room for the baby, painting the crib, etc., and fell in love again. She asked me if she could move in. I did what I felt was the right thing and welcomed her into my home.

The time around Catherine’s birth was just amazing. Our relationship was better than it had ever been. I absolutely adored her and loved her more than life itself. Life was really good. I thought maybe it was going to turn out beautifully. It was magical, probably one of the best times of my life.

But when Catherine turned 2, she moved out. Then she came back 4 months later. When Catherine was 3, she moved out again, then came back again. Then after some counseling with our pastor, she said she couldn’t commit so I asked her to move out, which was the last time. 

But that’s all in the past. She’s in a serious relationship now and they seem like a great match. It’s awesome and I’m truly happy for her. As long as he’s good with Catherine I’m fine with it.

Custody

The whole custody dispute was very hard on so many levels. After 2 years I was healing and moving on. The suit just ripped the scab open again. I wanted to continue our good co-parenting relationship for Catherine, but it was like a switch went off with her and she made it impossible to be civil. It was awful to see our relationship destroyed.

Normally, if an ex with whom you had an amicable split with and got along with is having financial problems—a person you loved, shared intimate moments with and raised a child with—you would most likely say, “What can I do to help? You’re her father and this affects her also. Let’s find you a decent place to live. Let me help you somehow.” There wasn't a huge event that broke us up, and even though it hurt me, it was fairly mutual in that we both knew it was pointless to continue. But nothing happened to create this sudden change in her. 

But sadly, It was all scorched earth and horrendously ugly. I was immediately an adversary. I was unstable and unfit to parent. I had tried over and over to show her hard financial numbers but was ignored. 

At one point during our negotiations, she told me she would never change her mind and threatened to give me the bare minimum time with Catherine if I didn’t agree to pay her child support. 

According to my lawyer, she fired her first attorney for being too nice. She also forced me to take a drug test. I happily took a 14-panel test and passed it with flying colors.

I was prepared to go to trial and had a 90% chance of keeping our 50/50 schedule. Again, all I wanted was equal time. I wasn’t going for full custody. I just wanted to share equal time with her mother. 

Several different attorneys advised me that status quo for 2 years and the mother’s history of moving out on us were my aces and would be hard to beat, but the judge ordered mediation at the cost of $1000 a day plus my attorney fees. That was it for me, the end of the road. I didn’t have the money. So I caved and signed the agreement. At this point I just wanted it to be over. 

We were together for 4 years. I will never understand the hatefulness and the unwillingness to be reasonable, and the complete lack of empathy towards the father of her child. I will never understand how her heart could become so hardened that she would do something like this. When I have no money, I can’t do certain things with Catherine. That includes necessities. I don’t know why this is was and is so hard for her to understand. All I wanted was to be left alone to provide for my children and have financial security. 

Looking Forward

The last 7 years of my life, I have been humbled, changed, refined. I am not the same person I was before. And for this I am thankful. I am choosing to go forward positively. I pray for her. This isn’t a self-righteous prayer, but a prayer that she is happy and successful. Because it does affect our daughter. I do pray for her heart to soften. I also pray for myself that I continue to stay humble and loving towards her. I do love her and want her to be happy.

I’m going to continue to be a great dad to my kids.

God wants us to TRUST in Him and REST in him. I’m choosing this path.

The other night I had Catherine on one side leaning against me, and Daniel leaning on the other side of me. Both of them adore me. My children love me. They know I’m a good father. That’s all that matters.

God will provide for me as he always has. I am getting back on my feet one day at a time. God is good.