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#i keep really wanting to like go through the apartment and Put Everything Away Once And For All and then continuing to Not Do That
cameronspecial · 3 days
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A New Kind Of Normal (Part 5)
Pairing: Dad!Rafe Cameron x Reader
Warnings: Relapse
Pronouns: She/Her
Word Count: 3.5K
Summary: After a fight with his dad, Rafe makes another mistake that could cost him everything.
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Stella spots her dad easily in the crowd of parents and runs toward him. He picks her up, giving her a kiss on the cheek. “How was daycare, little witch?” Rafe asks. She moves in his arms to look at him, “Good. It was my turn to feed the fishy today.” For the past few weeks, Rafe has been picking up Stella at daycare and dropping her off at the diner. It was tiring at first to drive back and forward from the Outer Banks to the mainland every day, so he rented an apartment close to Y/N’s house to make the journey shorter. Ward wasn’t too pleased when Rafe started working remotely, but Sarah talked to Ward about it. “That’s sounds fun. Are you still mad at Sabrina?” he asks while buckling the little girl. She finds his eyes through the rearview mirror, “Yes, she stole my boyfriend.” “That’s okay, you’re too young to be dating anyway. Boys are yucky,” he laughs at the pouty face she gives him.
——
Y/N is refilling the sugar container when Rafe walks through the door. Her surprise is written on her face because Stella is at her grandparents’, so he doesn’t need to drop her off this evening. She sets the sugar down, “Hey, is everything okay?” “Yeah, just didn’t really know what to do with my time since I’m not dropping Stella off. I thought I’d keep you company,” he states, sitting down at the counter. She laughs, “I remember the first time my parents took her for the weekend. I had a lot of time on my hands and I didn’t know what to do, so I rearranged my spice cabinet three times.”
“That sounds fun. How did you arrange them?”
“By country of origin, and then by taste, and then by alphabetical order, which is how I already had it. So I’m glad to be your spice cabinet for this evening.” 
Harvey comes out from the kitchen and sees Rafe at the counter, “Hello, Rafe. I’ll be with you in just a moment.” “It’s okay, Harv. I’m going to the kitchen to get something to drink. I’ll put in his order in. You can head on your break once you serve your table,” she informs, putting the sugar back under the countertop. Patty receives his order and Y/N heads back out to stay with Rafe. “How has your day been?” she asks, sitting on the stool across from him still behind the counter. He looks up from his phone, “It was a little disappointing. Work was the same as ever and I didn’t get to see my little witch. Seeing you is the best part of my day. How about you?” Her heart flutters and she uses a cough as an excuse to hide the sparkly in her eye. “I like seeing you too,” she says, focusing on the countertop. He gives a little chuckle, “I was asking more about your day, but it’s good to know you appreciate my company.” 
He knows she turned him down for a date and it hurt at the time, but Rafe hasn’t given up hope. She said that she liked him and timing was the only issue. He just has to show her he can stay sober and be in a relationship with her. Her eyes shy away, “Now, I feel stupid. My day was not bad. Business is better than usual, which means more money for me.” “Don’t feel stupid, Buttercup. It’s a simple mistake. I’m glad that business is going well,” he comforts. 
The two engage in smile talk until Patty comes out to give Rafe his food. “Patty,  I could’ve brought out his food,” Y/N protests, moving out of the way so Patty can slide the plate directly in front of him. Patty gives him a warm smile, “I know, but I just love seeing this handsome face.” “Aww, Patty. I love seeing you too. If only I was a few years older,” he plays along. She shakes her head, “If only. I would never dream of taking you for Y/N/N though.” “Patty, he isn’t mine. He is free to do whatever he wants,” Y/N interjects, disappointing Rafe. He turns his attention to Y/N, “There isn’t anyone else that I want other than Stella.” She looks at him with shock, understanding the hidden meaning behind the look in his eyes. “Stella is one lucky daughter,” she states while breaking their eye contact. Harvey calls Y/N over to ask her a question and this ends their conversation. “You love her,” Patty remarks. Rafe nods his head, “I do, but she doesn’t love me.” “Just you wait. She’ll come around. You’re already on the right track. Stella is definitely the way to her heart,” Patty returns to the kitchen. 
——
With Stella away, Y/N decides to give Patty and Harvey the rest of the night off and she would close up shop for the day. What she didn’t anticipate was Rafe staying with her until she closed. He spent eight hours with her at the counter. About three hours in, he commandeered her laptop to keep himself busy as she took care of the customers. He would tell her random facts to catch her attention and tell her a joke to hear her melodic laugh. He would steal glances at her every so often. Unbeknownst to him, she would steal some right back. She told him multiple times that he didn’t need to stay, but he insisted he needed her company to fill the hole of Stella being gone. The last customer leaves the diner and Y/N locks up behind him.
She turns toward Rafe, who still hasn’t left, “Do you want something to eat? You have been here for eight hours.” “I could go for some fries, but only if you eat something too. You haven’t eaten since I got here,” he points out. Right on time, her stomach growls in a long low tone. She didn’t realize she skipped dinner and felt butterflies at the fact that Rafe was keeping an eye on her. “Okay, I’ll be right back.” 
Around fifteen minutes later, she returns with a place full of fries and a burger. She rounds the counter to sit beside Rafe and puts the plate between the two of them. “Do you want to watch a movie?” she questions, pulling her laptop to her to open Disney +.  His hand finds a fry, “Sure.” He lets her pick Ratatouille since it feels like fitting with them being in a restaurant and all. Y/N inspects the fries on the plate and before she can take the fry she decides on, Rafe mindlessly grabs the one she wants. The fry is near his mouth, but she grabs it out of his hand and shoves it in her mouth. “Hey! I was going to eat that, Buttercup,” he complains. She shrugs her shoulders, “I like the crunchy ones, Button. I’m sorry, but I couldn’t let you have this crunchy goodness.” 
“That’s awfully selfish of you. How are you going to make it up to me?”
The pair had unknowingly gotten closer to each other. Their faces are only about three inches away from each other. His breath finds her lips and it takes everything in him not to bring them to his. She stares into his eyes, trying to figure out what he wants her to say. “Well… I don’t have much, but how about I let Stella sleep over at your place next weekend? Does that make you feel better?” she genuinely offers. Upon seeing she is serious, his face turns to joy, “I would love to have her sleepover. I have to get the spare bedroom ready. Maybe get her a few toys and some-.” “Woah, slow down there, Button. She is only there for a night. You don’t need to do too much for her,” Y/N stops his tangent. 
“I know. I just want her to enjoy her weekend with me so she’ll want to come back. So I can prove that I am a good father.” 
“Rafe, no matter what you do, she will want to be with you. You are her father and that’s all she needs.” 
Her right hand finds the side of his face and she plays with the bottom of his earlobe. He leans into her touch, letting himself be comforted after he is a little vulnerable with her. Her eyes flicker down to his watch and she notices the time. “Damn, it’s late. I should probably start walking back home,” she worries, scrambling off the stool and cleaning up their late-night snack. He looks at his watch, “You are walking home? What happened to your car?” “Joshua asked to borrow it and since Stella is not with me, I said it was fine,” she notes as a matter of fact. He helps her clean up and takes out his car key, “I see. I’ll drive you home then.” “Rafe, you don’t have to. You know it isn’t that far for me to walk,” she tries to refuse. He shakes his head, “Y/N, I’m not letting the mother of my child walk alone close to midnight. So, don’t worry about it and let me drive you.” She stops arguing and gets to work quickly cleaning up.
Once she closes the diner, they walk side by side to his car. He notices the goosebumps running up her arm and shrugs off his grey North Face jacket, wrapping it around her shoulders. She whispers a thank you. They get into the car and make their way to her house. He walks her to the door with his fingertips itching to touch hers. At the door, they turn to each other, looking into each other’s eyes. He takes a tentative step forward and she doesn’t move back. He is about to take a chance and lean in for a kiss when the door flings open to reveal Benedict.   
“Finally, you’re back. You sure took your sweet time with closing. Hey, Rafe. Y/N, do you have any mayo? I feel like eating just straight-up mayo,” Benny interrupts, walking away from the door to the kitchen. She pulls away from Rafe and follows her brother inside, devastating Rafe. He slowly enters the house after a few seconds to see the siblings bickering about Benny eating only mayo. The domestic sight makes him feel left out, so he bids goodbye to the pair. He is almost to the door when Y/N catches up to him. “Button, wait,” she calls out, gently grabbing his arm above his elbow. “I wanted to say thank you for keeping me company tonight. And for taking me home. I know you didn’t have to stay and that part of the reason you did is because of me. So thank you.” He looks back at her with a soft smile, “No problem. I have to protect the woman I lo- I have to protect the woman who gave birth to my baby girl.” She caught what he was about to say, nails finding their way between her teeth. “Right, well… goodnight,” she mutters, stepping back into her house. He moves back towards the sidewalk, “Goodnight.” Y/N waits for Rafe to be out of sight before closing the door.
——
Rafe opens the door to his apartment to find Ward Cameron waiting with an annoyed look on his face. “What do you want?” Rafe grumbles, leaving the door open and walking away from it. Ward enters the room, “You can’t keep living here. You need to come back to the Outer Banks.” “No, I don’t. I’ve been keeping up with my work and going back when we had a meeting. So I don’t see a problem,” Rafe argues, going to the kitchen to pour himself some water. 
“When are you going to realize that you are just playing pretend? That you are eventually going to get tired of playing family. It’s better you realized that sooner rather than later.”
“You have no idea what you are talking about. I’m not going to leave my family. You always say that family comes first and that’s what I’m doing.”
“Listen, Rafe. I know you and the only thing that you can stay committed to is coke and the family business. So stop kidding yourself.”
Rafe shakes his head in frustration, “Well, I’ve changed. I want to give my daughter the support you never gave to me but you gave to Sarah.” “When you realize this is all a mistake, don’t come crying to me to fix this problem. I already told you to sign a paper saying you’d only give child support,” Ward warns, heading back out the door. Rafe yells in frustration, throwing a water bottle at the wall. He doesn’t understand the point of his father coming over just to tell him he is going to end up abandoning his family. It drives Rafe crazy that Ward thinks he knows everything about his son when Ward barely takes the time to talk to him. His feelings for his dad come cropping up and he needs something to relieve the stress. 
A knock on the door causes him to stop his tantrum. Shit, he forgot he is supposed to have Stella over for tonight. A second knock comes when he is splashing water on his face to calm down. At the third knock, he opens the door to see an excited Stella and a nervous Y/N. His daughter walks into the apartment as if she lives there while Y/N notices Rafe’s emotion. “Are you okay? She can sleep over next weekend if this is a bad time,” Y/N says. He doesn’t want to talk about it, “I’m fine. She can stay. I could use her company.” She isn’t sure if what he says is the entire truth, but she trusts him to know what he needs and if he needs his daughter, she won’t stop him. “Okay, well call me if you need anything. I’ll be at home all night,” she informs, heading inside to give Stella a kiss before she leaves. Rafe sighs once the door is locked, turning toward his daughter with a fake smile. “What do you want to do, little witch?” She gives him a massive grin and pulls something out from her bag, “Can I practice my face painting on you, Daddy? I can make you into a monster.” “Doesn’t that sound like a great idea? I would love to be your model.”
——
The evening he gets to spend with his daughter is the best he’s ever gotten to spend. They went on a Target run and got a variety of stuff. Toys. Clothes. Food. Board Games. Accessories. Anything she wanted found its way into their cart. He didn’t care about the looks he got for wearing skeleton makeup that Stella put on his face. It may be June, but it is never too early to celebrate the spooky season. They got back home after the shopping spree to make all the food and play all the board games they bought. He had just put her to bed when the bad thoughts started to creep back in. The doubts he is feeling about being a father start to seep through. So far, everything has been great. They always have so much fun. But what happens when the real struggles of parenting start to begin? When Stella won’t simply go to bed because he told her so. When she starts to resist his authority because the newest of having a dad is over. 
His hands are going crazy with fidgeting with his watch. The leg bouncing up and down is the only thing emitting a sound throughout the living room. He goes to call Diana and is sent to voicemail. He wants to call Y/N but thinks twice about it because he doesn’t want to worry her. He knows he shouldn’t but he needs to stop the voices in his head. The DVD case in the TV centre is calling to him. His feet lead him closer to what he shouldn’t be close to. He gets out the case and opens it up to find the little bag of powder. Before this day, he forgot he had stashed it there and that is why he hasn’t got rid of it yet. It’s okay if he has a little bit though, just a little. Maybe if he knows he should control himself, then it will be better than using more. He just needs a little something to stop his brain. 
He forms one line. One line should be enough. The relief he feels, once he snorts the line, begs him to do another. One more couldn’t hurt. He doesn’t realize he has gone through the whole bag until he can’t make any more lines. The energy he feels gets him up and moving. He cleans up the mess they made while cooking and organizes the board games they played. After a while he starts to crash, so he lies down on the couch to try and get some sleep but the coke isn’t letting him. He stares at the ceiling for hours until eventually, the mindlessness of sleep overcomes him, forgetting to clean up the evidence of what he did. 
——
Y/N taps the door as lightly as possible to hopefully not wake up Stella. She wants to help Rafe get breakfast ready for the little girl. The knock goes unanswered, so the next one that comes is a little harder. Rafe opens the door with a confused look that turns to panic when he sees who it is. “Hey, Button. Sorry to wake you up so early. But I thought I could help you make Stells some breakfast. I hope you have some eggs because I was thinking about making some eggs benedict,” she explains, heading toward the kitchen to place down the tote with the food she brought. Rafe scrambles to block her view of his coffee table, “Uh, yeah. The eggs are in the fridge.” He was too late. Her eyes are already narrowed at something in the living room and he knows she saw his last night late activities. 
She heads toward the table to make sure she is actually seeing what she thinks she is seeing. “You relapsed,” she mutters to herself in a calm and worrying tone. Rafe runs to her side, gently turning her to look at him, “Buttercup, I know I did. But I promised it wasn’t that much. I just needed something to stop my thoughts.” Her head starts to shake violently as she yanks her hand out of his hold and walks back slowly toward Stella’s room. The anger she feels is now showing, “If it wasn’t that much, then how come the bag is empty, Rafe? How much was in that bag? HOW MUCH COCAINE DID YOU DO WHILE MY DAUGHTER WAS UNDER YOUR CARE?” The blow comes in twofold. The first, she didn’t call him the playful nickname she always does. The second, she called Stella her daughter instead of theirs. 
“I know I screwed up, Buttercup. But I promise, she wasn’t awake.” 
“You don’t get to call me that right now. I don’t care if she is awake or not. I’m upset at the fact that you did drugs while she was in the house. That she could’ve woken up while you were sleeping and had access to the mess you left. Or worse, you died on the couch because you overdosed. ” 
“Of course, you are allowed to be upset. But it was a mistake. I’m sorry. It will never happen again. Y/N, please.”
“I can’t Rafe. I know that relapsing is sometimes a part of the journey to sobriety and I can forgive that. I can’t forgive putting Stella at risk.”
Y/N walks away in the direction of Stella’s room. All he can do is wait there as he hears the door open. “Stella. Baby, wake up. It’s time to go,” Y/N murmurs, kneeling beside the bed and running her fingers through Stella’s hair. The girl gently stirs, “Why, Mommy? I haven’t had breakfast yet.” “Because, Baby, Daddy needs to go somewhere so we have to go. We can make breakfast at home,” the mother explains, helping her daughter put of the bed. She knows Stella wants to debate more, but isn’t allowed to because Y/N is packing Stella’s stuff as fast as she can. 
Rafe is still standing there when Y/N comes back out with Stella in one arm and the little girl’s bag over the other shoulder. This makes him rush toward her, “Y/N, please. Don’t go. Please.” She ignores him and walks out the door, leaving the food she brought. He can hear Stella demanding to say bye to her Daddy and it rips his heart out as he hears Y/N firmly say no. He slams the door shut, screaming into the oblivion of his pain. 
Taglist: @loves0phelia @thelomlisrafecameron @wickedlovely121 @thepatriarchykeychain @drewsmusee @starkowswife @maybankslover @forstarkey @loving-and-dreaming @drewstarkeyswifehoe @kisstaya @magicalyoura @mp-littlebit @loverfu55ii @dark1paradise @sublimepenguinpeach-blog @alyisdead @emeloyy @js-a-writer @kisstaya @optimisticsandwichgladiator
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primalsharkman · 4 months
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Petty? Pretty.
Kim Chaewon x M Reader | 🔞 Smut
[Enemies to Lovers, Academic Rivals, Fake Dating]
Word Count: 5,385
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You sighed as you put the pen down at the table. It was your final exam for the year, meaning that all your hard work has officially paid off. The projects you made were certainly extraordinary, definitely leagues apart for the company you were in. However, the pressure of coming in second was like a pump shotgun being shot into the back of your head multiple times. You know, you cannot let Chaewon win again this year.
Of course, Kim Chaewon. The school's greatest academe mind since, ever. Always getting the top grades, the top approval, and all the top boys. The latter which, you really didn't care for. But she had the run of the mill, taking the best with her for her own pleasure. Stories and rumors of her taking the university's quarterback spread around like wildfire. She'd deny it, but everyone knew otherwise.
You roamed around the halls in deep thought, the heavy weight of your books in your hand was very aching, but you were close to dumping them into your locker.
"Finally..." You sighed after arriving at your locker and opening the combination, and only then dumping the books inside.
Vacation was on your mind, but you knew the year isn't over yet. A familiar scent was on your tail, and you knew exactly who wears that specific perfume in your school.
Turning around, you found the academic goddess herself, standing beside you with her bag slinging by her side and giving you a stare. "I hope you did better than you did last year, it was almost too easy for me to beat you." Chaewon said, confidently and with a smirk.
You rolled your eyes at her and crossed your arms, "I've had enough of your gloating, Kim. You're an egomaniac and you really need to get yourself checked before you break down once you see I did better than you."
"Big talk for someone who's only ever beaten me once, in a team debate, no less." Her voice pierced through your heart, and it did hurt. Sure, you did never beat her one on one, but you fought her so hard that you'd get recognized and put in the same conversations as her name did.
"What do you want, Kim? Are you just going to ogle your tits in front of me? Because let's be real, I wouldn't fuck you in a million years." She just chuckled at the statement and gave your crotch a light tap using her wrist.
"Trust me, I wouldn't fuck you in a million years too. But there is something I need." That was when you just smiled at her and closed your locker before walking away from her.
Chaewon panicked and followed your pace, keeping up by your side. "H-hey, I just said I need your help!" You waved her off before she grabbed your wrist and sped up to drag you away from the halls and into an empty area away from the students.
"Listen, I know we've had our differences but this is about prom." At this point was already looking at you like she made up her mind and she will do everything to convince you.
You sighed. "Let me guess, you want me to go with you to the prom?"
"Yes."
"I don't think we should, Chaewon."
"But we could win prom king and queen."
"Does that even matter?"
"If it means beating Yunjin and her very clingy boyfriend, yes."
You just stared into her eyes after that quick exchange, but you knew how insufferable the school couple was. They were everywhere, being flirty and just rubbing it in people's noses. It was a sight.
Pacing around the room and opening a window, it was easy to see that this was an opportunity to get your name trending again. But was it worth it when Chaewon's name is going to be beside yours?
"Okay, but I will dictate the ground rules. You will wear a black dress, you will do the talking, telling people that we got together recently and that you were the first to fall for me." Chaewon just looked at you angrily while the demands were being listed.
"Ugh, fine. I'll pay that price just to stick it to her. Just see how she likes it." She may hate you, but she really doesn't like being upstaged, and unfortunately for Yunjin, she got in the way.
A quick thought entered your mind. "Oh and one more thing," Chaewon turned around. "... You're not allowed to fall in love with me."
She just smiled, "Won't be a problem, I'll see you at my place then. Don't forget to bring flowers. Ciao~" She said as she left the vicinity. You were left standing there with nothing but your bag in hand, and shortly afterwards you went home.
_____________________________________________
The drive to Chaewon's was fast, thanks to the traffic not holding people up. Her apartment was still 3 floors up, so you had to climb up the flgiht of stairs to reach her door and give her a knock.
"God why did I listen to her..." You whisper to yourself while holding a bouquet of flowers in your hand as your cheeks fill with a red blush.
Chaewon opened the door and gave you a judging smirk. "For once, you finally listen to me huh?"
Embarrassed, you just looked away and handed her the flowers, which she gladly took and had a whiff of them. "They're pretty, okay? Don't be too shy, you're acting like this is real." She giggled as she went down the stairs waiting for you.
You opened the door for her, and she went inside without a word. You breathed out a sigh of relief and went back inside the driver's seat and started driving.
It was mostly a silent trip, neither even giving each other exchanging hi's and just humming to the song playing on the radio. It was nerve-wracking for you, as she can just say anything crazy in a second.
But then you heard a sweet and soft voice speak, it was soothing to the ear and yet you know Chaewon is never this soft and sweet. "So, this is it. Time to act flirty, you'll take care of me right?" You just nodded at her, "Just behave like a good girl and we'll win your petty prize." Getting out of the car and you open the door and take her hand before guiding her inside the venue.
The vibe around the prom was magnificent. It was themed as a romantic getaway, with beach designs and a drawing of a sunset as the backdrop for the stage. You can only look around as the people start filling in the place and you stare at Chaewon.
You weren't kidding yourself, she was looking spectacular. She left the flowers in the car but even with just one flower tucked on her ear, just looking at her makes your heart skip a beat.
You found some seats for you and Chaewon to sit in, it was in plain sight so everyone could see that the two of you are in this prom together. You put your arm around Chaewon and she gladly put her hands on your inner thigh, dangerously close to your crotch.
"Dangerous game you're playing here. Be careful not to touch anything." You gulp as you say those words.
You only heard a small chuckle as she whispered, "Try not to get hard okay? We don't want you going in the bathroom leaving me out here don't we?" She sure has her way of being very provocative.
Yunjin and her boyfriend finally showed up, dressed perfectly to compliment each other's styles. Everyone was astounded at their sight, looking like the royal couple, everyone was reminded of who they really are.
The grunt Chaewon releases between her lips was pretty cute, she was angry, but most of all she was very petty. "Okay, time to turn up the heat." Those were the last words you heard before you felt her lips crash into yours.
Her kiss felt like floating in space freely. It felt freeing and wonderful. Next thing you know, you were making out with your rival and the event hasn't even begun. You could get lost in this feeling forever, and you wanted to stay in this moment. Somehow, someway, Kim Chaewon is a perfect match for you. The way she holds you, the way she wraps her hands around you, it is truly something worthwhile.
These thoughts were interrupted by the sound of loud music entering your ears once you realize she let go. "...What the fuck was that for?" was all you can conjure up for your first, and possible the best kiss of your life.
"Gotta show them who's boss. And right now, we have the mental advantage. Everyone's looking at us right now." You did look around to see them whispering and muttering to each other about what they saw, even Yunjin was perplexed when she took her seat nearby.
"If this doesn't end in sex, i'm dropping you off the side of the highway." You claimed jokingly.
"Ha! As if you'd actually want to fuck me."
"With a kiss like that, now I know why all the boys want you."
"Is that a fact?"
"Oh shut up, i'm giving you a genuine compliment." Chaewon smiles after hearing that and gives you another kiss. This time, it's even more passionate. Your pants were starting to tighten and it got really, really heated. You knew you had to get some food to calm yourself down before your primal instincts take over and bend her down the table and fuck her brains out.
Once you broke the kiss, you asked her. "Do you want me to get you a plate or no?"
"Okay, boyfriend. Go get me a plate." She hit your balls again as you stood up and you lightly kicked at her feet before walking towards the catering.
Right now, you didn't give a shit about the deal you made. It doesn't matter whether you win prom king and queen, because pretending to be her partner was already a thin line to walk on, but now that she's being very playful and teasing you to great extent, you might not last the night.
You got her the plate, and you sat back down next to her. Before she could even mutter a word you just dug into the food. Thankfully she didn't say anything and just ate.
Thank god no one bothered you two, just having people pass by and smile or even give a simple wave is enough. Chaewon was a tiger in academics but socially, she is so much worse. There's a reason she doesn't have a clique, or even a best friend. She just preferred studying and going at it alone. Even with projects, you saw firsthand how she asked the professors if she could do it alone. She was granted her wishes, and she's done better than all of them. You were no slouch of course but, you're not insane enough to do group work solo.
"Let's go dance. We need to be as cute as we can." She said as she put down her fork and wiped her lips with a tissue.
"Don't fucking tap my balls again, you stand up first." Chaewon nodded and stood up, waiting for you to join her.
Taking her hand, you guided her to the dance floor and thankfully, the music was set low. There were a few people on the floor including the royal couple but the spotlight was on you. Nobody thought the two best minds in the entire university would be on good terms, let alone dating.
Chaewon did her best to act as subby as possible, knowing that it was her best chance to win those votes. She smiled, giggled at your jokes and even started talking to the other students on the dance floor while you roamed her around in the dance. If this was the Chaewon you saw in school everyday, you might've just fallen for her instantly.
"Hey, look at me for a while would you?" You said as you grabbed her chin and made her face you.
"What do you want? I'm trying to win us some favor here..." She said in a quiet but rage-filled voice.
"Is it so bad for a couple to actually look at each other and talk? Come on, you know better than that."
Chaewon just nodded and looked at you. Your heart melted through every wall you ever put up once she did. How in the hell are you falling for Chaewon? You know how she is. You know every dirty tactic and every move she's done to you. You hated how she tapped your balls everytime she found an opening. You hated the way she liked other boys. You hated it when you found out she was absent for a week due to a fever. You hated missing her. You hated falling for her at every step of the way.
Chaewon yelped when you firmly grabbed her waist, pulled her close and straightened her hair out behind her ear. "If you're gonna kiss me, I'd do it that way too."
You ignored her words and just kissed her. You didn't care if everyone was watching, you didn't care if anyone actually wanted to see it. All you wanted to do was kiss your rival. The rival you desperately tried to hate because you knew she'd never love you. The rival you never asked out because she was too busy studying her tits out. The rival you only ever loved.
As you let the kiss go, Chaewon stared at you for a moment. She immediately let that go and went back to being the same Chaewon you know. For that night, she belonged to you. And you took full advantage of that fact. You ate, you danced, you loved. It was all you could think about for the rest of the night.
It was over soon enough, and you remembered why you were there in the first place. You breathed in heavily and made Chaewon put her arm around your waist as you waited for the announcements. You didn't even listen to the announcement, all you did was feel her touches and let her hear the names she wanted to being called. Next thing you know, you were up there with her, taking a ribbon and a crown. It was pretty funny looking, but seeing Chaewon's face light up is a pretty good sight. You smiled at the crowd and thanked them for the vote.
This was when Chaewon broke free. She let you go and went to the car so she could celebrate her victory. You followed suit and went back in your car.
"Well, i've had my fill of achievements for the day. Take me home." You just nodded and drove. It was a pretty slow night drive. You didn't go over 40, mostly because you just wanted to enjoy her company more.
"That's all you wanted? Seems pretty shallow to go through all that trouble." You said.
"Then I'm shallow. All I care about is that I am on top again." Spoken as softly as she could.
"You do realize we're gonna have to break up during the summer right? I can't fake date you forever."
"Then let's break up."
"Fine."
"Fine." She just crossed her arms and sat on the passenger's seat and stayed quiet.
----------------------------------------------------------
You parked your car in the back, you wanted to clear your head space once you drop her off back at her door but you just stayed in the car first, and so did she.
The crickets chirping made the deafening sound of night feel, not so deafening. You took time to process everything that happened in there, and you looked at Chaewon, who seems to be doing the same thing.
"Hey, can I see your cock?"
"What the fuck, Chaewon?"
"Don't be a fucking pussy about it."
"I'm not in the mood."
"Why not?"
"Because... because I'm not sure if I like you or not."
"What?" Her eyes grew wider as you dropped those words.
"Just... let me think, okay? You were out here all night flirting with me like... it felt real chaewon. It felt real, all of it."
"You don't have to think about it..."
"Oh so now you're trying to restrict my thoughts of you? Don't play games with me Chaewon."
"I'm not!"
"Then why—"
"Just listen to me! You boar-headed dipshit! I like you too! Okay?! Is that enough?!"
You two just looked at each other with your eyebrows furrowed and neither of you were able to land a word after she confessed her feelings to you.
"I like you too. I didn't want to, but I like you! Get that through your thick fucking skull." She said angrily.
It was a lot to process. You both broke the rule of not falling for the other. And now you are at each other's throats because you both were confused and angry that the person both of you were trying to beat at every turn, was someone you actually were into.
If academics didn't mean a thing, you two would probably have hit it off at some point. But unfortunately, that pressure got to you both. For the first time, the weight of that pressure was actually lifted and you could only breathe out a strong, relieving sigh.
"Damn your kisses, Chaewon." You joked.
"Oh boo-hoo." She went for you and kissed you again. This time climbing out of her chair and sitting on your lap. This time, the kiss was different. It was more carnal than romantic. There was more tongue involved as you swing yours with hers and intertwined then as the shared kiss continued.
You grabbed her waist, and slowly reached out those hands into her ass. She gave out a lot moan and adjusted her position so you have full access to her plump, round ass.
She leaned her kisses towards your cheek and towards your ear, where you can hear every small moan and whimper she lets out of her mouth.
The hands you had around her ass were fondling them and enjoying the soft cushions they gave you. Chaewon was already getting wet, but you have yet to know that. You didn't want to go over what she considers her boundaries so you didn't move a muscle.
She felt your cock under her getting bigger and she just looked into your eyes. "Hey... we should take this inside."
You nodded and opened the door so she can climb out. You followed her and locked your car before heading up those dreaded stairs to her door. Once the two of you get there, she immediately opened it with her keys and dragged you inside by your collar.
It only took a shut of the door for her to throw herself at you with another kiss, jumping into your arms so your hands can carry her thighs as she wrapped her legs around you.
"Fuck..." you could only mutter as she rained down heavy kisses on your lips, your ears, and even your neck. It seemed like she knew what she was doing, and for your virgin ass, you went along for the ride.
"Take me to my bed. And take that goddamn suit off already."
"Yes, baby." You dragged your feet through the room and plopped her down the bed. You untied your necktie and threw it across the room. She kneeled on the bed as you stood over her, and she grabbed your polo and unbuttoned each and every single one while giving you the hungriest look a horny woman can give.
It was obvious she was having fun playing this game, and it felt like hell for you. Your cock was twitching in your pants and it started to hurt. She noticed you wincing and took off the polo before unbuckling the belt in your pants.
Her head was dangerously close to your cock and your hand moved itself to brush her hair and hold it down to your crotch, which was her eye-level. She pulled it all down and your cock sprung to hit her nose.
"Ow..." she said as she grabbed the hard cock in her hands, smiling.
"Your hands are pretty nice..."
"It fits your cock really well." She giggled and hummed as she dragged her hand down the length of your cock as you moan out quietly. She knew not to put too much pressure and she knew the perfect way to touch your cock and give you the pleasure your body is used to.
All you could do was grab her hair and turn it into a makeshift ponytail, where she smirked. "You know what it means when a guy does that to a girl right?"
"I think so. Do I get a guess?"
"No. You just get to feel your consequences." Her lips enveloped itself around the head of your cock, and the heat from her mouth makes you hold on the ponytail tighter.
She looks up at you as she takes your cock in painfully slow, licking along the way. You were panicking as the pleasure was getting too much for you, and Chaewon was just getting started. You didn't want to be a 10-second wonder.
She kept working around your cock, drenching it in her spit and sucking it like it was her final project. She's making sure it felt perfect.
Your legs were shaking at this point, your cheeks turning red at the possibility of you not being able to control yourself and not cum in her mouth. These sensations got you to let her hair go and put your hand on the wall nearby so you won't fall down.
Chaewon dragged her mouth down to the last inch of your cock, and tightly pulled out giving your cock a light lick at the end before she sat up and looked at you. "You're gonna cum, aren't you?"
"I'm trying so hard not to." You decided to be honest with her.
She pulled your waist down so you're sitting beside her. She gave you a smile and said, "Cum inside my mouth. I really want to know how nerd tastes." She giggled as she went down on your cock again, not holding out anymore and giving you the most sloppy and disgustingly heavenly blowjob you've ever had.
Her tongue was circling around your length as she bobbed her head up and down. You couldn't even speak due to how good she was sucking your cock. All you could do was grip her sheets and moan out her name again and again.
Her lips kissed your underside, and her free hand gave your balls some love, fondling them. She took your cock inside again and deepthroated every inch you can give her.
She was blushing. She enjoyed sucking cock, especially if that cock belonged to someone she knew on a personal level from many years ago. Sure, it was all on hatred, but she knew you better than anyone, and that turned her on even more.
Your cock was twitching in her mouth, she knew you weren't gonna last longer, so she pumped and sucked and the same time, and that was all it took for you to explode.
"M-ngmhHgh! Chaewon...! mmgh! fuck!" That was the most coherent sentence you can come up with while your body was in ecstacy. Orgasming to the point not even you have reached before.
Her mouth stayed where it was, your cum filling her cheeks as she swallowed each strand of cum, one stroke after another.
When she was done, she sucked your cock to clean it, and wiped her lips off before laughing.
"Nerd doesn't really taste different from jock. But I gotta say, your cock was so much cleaner and doesn't smell as bad."
"That's supposed to make me feel better?"
"Yeah, no one sucks cock better than me."
You sat up and put a hand around her thigh. "So, what's next?"
She smiled as she pushed you down, "You're the first guy to ask for what I want."
You turned your head to look at her and she was taking off her dress, and you were watching her show off her body to you.
You were blushing but the next thing you see was her towering over you, and you get a VIP look of her beautiful pussy. It was shaven, it was perfect, and you wanted a piece.
Your mouth opened and she smiled before lowering herself down to you and sitting down on your face. She grinded slowly as you moved your tongue to eat her pussy out.
Her taste was a new sensation to you. The first time you've ever ate pussy, and you're already getting addicted to her taste. She was sweating and that only added to the tang of her flavor, you dug your tongue deep in her folds.
Your tongue found her hole opening up and you slid it in. "Oh..! Good boy... that's a good boy..." Chaewon muttered while hissing and holding on to your hair.
You closed your eyes and moved you head to tongue fuck her, as she moaned loudly like she had no neighbors. She gripped her bedside and bounced on your tongue as she kept moaning.
"Yes... baby... oh fuck! come on..." She kept hissing and moaning under the sensation of your upper lip kissing her clit and tongue fucking her. You picked up the pace and held on her thighs, taking your tongue out of her hole and focusing on licking the clit fast and good.
"Oh it has been a while! Yes! Don't you dare fucking stop, don't stop, don't stop!" She kept screaming while grinding her pussy on your tongue on her clit. You put more pressure by pushing your tongue into her sensitive clit more and more as she gets brought to the brink of her orgasm.
"I'm gonna cum! Please, don't stop! I'll get off if I want you to stop, okay? Please just... ah! Keep going!" Chaewon says as she reaches her orgasm and grinds on you harder as her moans become more hoarse and heavy.
You kept licking her to destroy her senses and feel an seemingly un-ending orgasm for Chaewon. She got off you and laid down the bed before catching her breath.
"Where... how did you learn... to eat pussy like that?"
"I never did. I only know the clit is the most sensitive part so, I guessed."
"You're a natural then, god damn. Despite being a nerd, that knowledge came in handy. Try using that knowledge to beat me next year okay?"
"What if I beg you to lose for once?"
"That's a price you don't wanna know." She smirked as she recovers.
"More pussy eating?"
"I have a list of demands. I'd rather show them to you before we start school next year."
"Good. But we're not done here Chae." You show her your hardened cock once again, showing her you have recovered from her blowjob.
Chaewon smirks and lifts her ass a little bit. "I want it deep, hard, and fast. None of that slow, methodical, romantic bullshit."
"You got it." You lined yourself up behind her and didn't even hesitate to stroke your cock and slide it deep in her.
"Mmph! Good! Just like that." All Chaewon could do was moan on her pillow as you started picking up the pace and fucking her pussy like your life depended on it.
You grabbed her ass and spanked it, earning a yelp from the girl. She kept asking for more, so you put a strong hold on her hips and crashed your cock deep inside her wet pussy again and again and again.
The sound of your sex was echoing across the room, it was erotic and accompanied with her moans after every thrust, it was truly music to your ears.
"Yes! Your cock is so big inside me! I love every single inCh of it! Mmm!"
Slapping her ass, you kept your mouth open and joined her moaning. "Good god Chaewon, your pussy is so good! So wet and so fucking delicious." You gave her ass another slap.
"Ah! So it is! Fuck I wanna fuck you again and again. Please, make me cum again, make me yours and I won't ever be a bitch around you again!"
"Good girl, I like that." You pulled her arms back into you and grabbed her head so your face is buried in her neck while you fuck her from behind.
"F-Fuck! Rub my clit!" You follow her command and rub her clit in the same pace you're fucking her pussy.
Her moans get even louder and you had to use your hand to cover it up so her neighbors wouldn't get the wrong idea.
Her bed was rocking and it was making a lot of noise. Between the creaking, the moaning, the sloshing sounds the sex was making, it was very hard to hide the fact you were fucking her like a machine.
She kept begging for you to cum inside her and you keep telling her to wait. You were looking for your orgasm but she was ready to unload hers.
"I'm gonna fucking squirt all over! Please I want your cum! I'm gonna fucking... ah!" You pulled out as you felt gushes of water from under her. You held on to her neck as she gripped your arm tightly while she was squirting. Your arm reached down and rubbed her clit so it felt extra pleasureable to her.
"God! I made a mess..." She yelped before you took her body and lied it down on the dry part of the bed and kissed her hard.
You slid your cock back in and fucked her in missionary. Her legs were up in the air as she was moaning in your kiss. The thrusts your cock was giving to her kept sloshing as the rest of her squirt and the never ending wetness of her pussy was lubricating your cock to the point where it looked like cum.
She already came multiple times and she wasn't going to stop, until you did. "What is taking so long?! Mm! My pussy is destroyed here... you need to fill me up, please daddy."
That was the last straw. The final push you needed. Once you heard her say daddy, your senses kicked into overdrive and you fucked her like a machine one more time before unloading your second round of cum in her pussy.
This orgasm hit you like a truck, it felt good, but once it was finished you feel like you have been ran over by a truck. It was tiring and you were drained.
"I guess... daddy is the magic word then." Chaewon giggled as she wrapped her arms around you and pecked your lips.
"I'm sorry I didn't warn you. You must've been so surprised."
"No, actually. I knew you were tightening up when your cock pulsated aggresively. So I expected the creampie sooner."
"God damn it, you're not gonna get pregnant now are you?"
"I'll be okay. I wouldn't have let you fuck if I was in danger of getting pregnant anyway." She giggled again.
"Really? Even after the kissing we've done earlier?" You sound a bit perplexed at this point.
"I'm not an idiot. I'm smarter than you, remember? Don't feel superior just because I called you daddy once."
"I'm just curious, no need to gloat."
She kissed your cheek and chuckled. "I'm okay, you don't need to worry."
You nodded and pulled out her before lying down beside. "So, what now?"
"What about it?" She looked upwards at the ceiling.
"What are we?"
"Right now? I can't say."
"We just told each other we liked each other. What else is there to think about?"
Chaewon playfully hits your arm. "You need to court me, genius."
"Wouldn't you just say yes immediately?"
"I probably would."
You held her hand and kissed it. "So, will you be my girlfriend?"
Chaewon smiles, and turns towards you. "Yes. I'll be your girlfriend."
~FIN~
A/N: That was rough for a first fic, I didn't proof read this so I'm open to suggestions and whatnot. Twitter is the same handle as this one, you know where to find me.
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whateveriwant · 4 months
Note
I know you already did the 141 boys when their wife gives birth (which was fantastic btw) but maybe if they missed the birth because of a mission or whatever else your brilliant mind can think of!
Don't give me compliments because then I'll follow you home like a cat and you'll never get rid of me 😖
Price
(This goes for all the men, really) but he's absolutely gutted to not be with you as you're giving birth
Honestly, if he had the choice, he would've rather lobbed off his own arm than miss such a momentous occasion in both your lives
It’s nothing less than the literal fate of the world that's keeping him from you, and he makes sure to reiterate that over and over again
The only thing that gives Price a bit of peace of mind when leaving you at a time like this is knowing you have a strong support system to help you through it
And boy oh boy does he put those friends and family members to use by having them constantly text him with every update imaginable
What time your water breaks, how far apart your contractions are, how much you've dilated, so on and so on. He wants to know it all
While he has to remain focused during the bulk of the mission, when he's able to, he's whipping out his phone to scroll through the literal hundreds of messages that await him
The updates are so plentiful and detailed that if he tries hard enough, he can almost pretend like he was right there beside you all along
And once he gets to the pictures of you holding your little one for the first time, well… he's not afraid to admit that he sheds a manly tear or two at the sight
Soap
He kicked up quite the storm at work when he realized he was going to be missing the birth of his child
He did everything in his power to try to get out of the mission – to try to get back to you – but, ultimately, he had no other choice than to go
But he's not just going to go gently into the night. No, he has a few tricks up his sleeve to make it as if he's still there with you in some capacity
Like Price, Soap takes comfort in leaving you with a huge support system to help while he's away
And also similarly, he's recruiting your loved ones (more so their phones) into letting him video chat with you whenever he gets the opportunity
(Does that mean he snuck his unauthorized smartphone into the middle of a battlefield? …. Yes. Yes, he did. .……....… Don't tell Price)
You'll be in the midst of a call with him and a bullet will fly right by his head and embed itself in the wall behind him
Of course, this has you incredibly concerned, worrying over how you're distracting him when he should be focused on his mission
But he assures you there's no need to fret, dear. He's perfectly safe and everything’s completely fine
(Oh, and just disregard that sound in the background, hun. No, it wasn't a bomb. Heavens, no! It was a… a… piano falling out a window)
Gaz
Even when he's away on mission during normal circumstances, he's calling home all the time to check in with you
But given your current state, now he's checking in twice as much as he usually does
Expect a minimum of three calls a day just to ensure things are still all hunky dory on your end
It's during one of these calls that your water breaks, and as you fly into a state of panic, forgetting everything you're supposed to do, Gaz has to calmly walk you through the steps of what you'd planned
He's able to talk you down and make sure you get yourself to the hospital in one piece, but then after that call, weirdly, you don't hear from him again
It's not until several hours later when you've already delivered your child that you're awoken by the feeling of someone beside your bed
You look to see who it is and it's none other than Gaz himself – still dressed in his full gear, covered in all sorts of dirt and grime, a hushed apology pouring from his mouth
He's so sorry he couldn't get there quick enough, beautiful. He left as soon as he could once he'd pulled a few strings with Price
But you don't even care about the excuse because you're quickly enveloping him in a hug. With tears in your eyes, you assure him it's alright. He's here now, and that's all that matters to you
Ghost
When he was informed he was being shipped off to a remote location less than a month before your due date, he was livid
No phone, no radio, no communication of any kind with the outside world and he was supposed to be okay with that? He very much wasn't
The higher-ups had to really hammer home the whole “safety of the world” thing to convince Ghost to go, and even when he did, he did so grudgingly
He finds that as he sits in this shoddy shack halfway across the planet from you, all he can do is keep a mental tally of everything he’s missing
Going with you to your final check ups, helping you pack your hospital bag, holding your hand as you begin to push, etc. etc. etc.
But what about things he might not know about? What if something's gone wrong while he's been away?
He can't let himself think on it too much because he'll end up putting his fist through the drywall, and he needs at least one good hand to hold his child with when he meets them for the first time
Seven weeks, four days, and nine hours after he shipped out, Ghost is on a plane back home
He doesn't stop to talk to anyone when he touches down at base (not even to report to his superiors). He just gets into his car and books it, not letting off the gas until he's parked outside your home again
And when he finally reaches the front door, an unexpected tremor passing through him as he grabs for the handle, he closes his eyes, takes in a deep breath, and walks inside, beginning the next chapter of his life
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daisynik7 · 3 months
Text
cw: established relationship, explicit sexual content, smut - cunnilingus
Author's Note: Barely proofread, completely horny. Enjoy. Divider credit to @/cafekitsune.
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When Nanami comes out of the bedroom for breakfast, he notices you’re already set up at your work desk, expression serious as you face the monitor. 
“You have a meeting right now?” he asks, giving you a quick peck on the cheek. 
You relax a bit from his loving smooch. “Yeah. I don’t even need to be in this. My boss just said to hop on and listen in. Said it’s a learning opportunity.” You make air quotations with your fingers at those last two words, rolling your eyes. 
He hums, massaging your shoulders, which are stiff and tense with stress. “I’m sorry.” His thumbs work out a knot; he always knows how to put you at ease at times like this. 
You lean back, tipping your chin up to catch his gaze, smiling. “Thank you, honey. I’m just…annoyed.” Glancing back at the screen, you sit up straight, muttering, “Oh no, it’s starting.” With a click of your mouse, you’re in. A few of the attendees are already chatting, so you keep yourself on mute, not bothering to greet them. 
Instead of heading into the kitchen for his morning cup of coffee, Nanami remains behind you, bowing down to whisper, “Do you want a distraction?” His mouth grazes your ear, his hands gliding up and down your arms. 
Although you’re on mute, you mouth a silent, “What?” to him.
His voice gets lower, sultry. “I’m hungry. And I’m craving my favorite treat right now.” He nuzzles his nose to yours, flashing that lazy smile of his you love so much. “I’ll be quick.” Too much. 
“Kento, are you serious?” The rational part of you knows this is crazy, especially while you’re actively attending a meeting. However, the horny part of you, which seems to supersede everything else, wants your husband’s distraction so badly. The temptation to do something you shouldn’t be doing is too alluring to resist. And besides, you’re virtually non-existent in the conversation happening in front of you. Might as well do something else productive.
He nods, pressing his lips to yours in a soft kiss, just enough to tease a moan out of you. “Baby,” you whine. “We shouldn’t.”
And the two of you know what that really means.
Soon, he’s under the desk, sliding your pajamas bottoms off one leg at a time while you pretend to pay attention to whatever nonsense your coworkers are discussing. Your panties are already wet and Nanami takes his time peeling them off you, biting his lip at the way it glistens with your arousal. 
He wasn’t lying when he said he was hungry. In fact, he’s starving. He proves that with how voraciously he eats you out, your legs open wide for him to spread his tongue all over you. His grip is firm on your knees, keeping you split apart, licking and sucking on your clit, coaxing every drop of cum out of you. You can go the entire meeting with his face buried in your wet cunt, his drool mixing in with your slick. 
Suddenly, and to your absolute horror, your name gets called by your manager. “Any questions?”
You try to shove Nanami away, but he’s relentless, latching onto you tighter, sucking on your clit harder, louder. You squeeze his cheeks tightly with your thighs, practically smothering him, but it doesn’t do anything except make him hum, the vibrations only adding to the divine sensation. 
Before this long pause gets any more awkward, you swallow all the saliva pooling in your mouth and unmute yourself. “I’m good, thanks!” you blurt out, muting yourself once more as you let out a drawn-out moan, coming for the fifth time on your husband’s tongue.
The meeting is dismissed shortly after. You shut your laptop closed, scolding your husband, who’s now kissing the plush of your thighs, chin and nose shiny with your cum, a wickedly charming smile on his lips. “Thought you said you wouldn’t have to say anything,” he teases, trying to feign innocence. 
You run your fingers through his hair, tugging on the strands gently. “Thought you said you’d make it quick.”
He comes up from beneath the table, meeting your face with his. “You know nothing is ever quick with me, sweetheart.” Then, he kisses you, pulling you close to him, cock stiff against you, leading you into the bedroom.  
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essenteez · 11 months
Text
𝐖𝐑𝐎𝐍𝐆 𝐀𝐍𝐒𝐖𝐄𝐑 || yunho
"falling in love with your best friend feels like eighth deadly sin."
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"And if you really think that it's an obsession, don't worry." He spoke again, this time his voice was hoarse as he struggled to speak, his thumb and eyes now wandering around your half opened lips. "I'll take all of it."
𝐒𝐲𝐧𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐬 : You made a tough decision that left you absolutely devastated. Falling in love with your best friend was unacceptable. You got to leave. The method was slowly vanishing from Yunho's life until he would get used to your abstance. Deep down, a voice kept telling you it was the right choice. However, Yunho never meant to let you go as he stood in your door on one rainy spring evening, demanding an explanation.
𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 : Yunho × (f)reader
𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞 : Angst, smut
𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 : explicit language, unprotected sex, fingering, oral (f!receiving), tongue fuck, anal fingering, ass smacking, missionary, deep penetration, pet names
𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬 : 6k
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Is it possible to feel like your decision, at the same time, is the best and the worst? As if you’re attempting to go both ways, feeling like your body is ripping apart.
You asked some of your friends about it, desperate for a helpful answer.
"Depends.'' they always shrugged, which only meant they had the same idea about it as you did. Read as none.
In the beginning, you thought your approach to the problem would be the best solution for both him and yourself. However, the more time had passed, the more it all felt like the most fanciful of tortures.
Nothing had happened between you two, nothing deep enough that you could hold on to. So why, why did you keep failing to convince yourself that everything you went through was for the best. Was it because of guilt that was eating you alive whenever he looked hurt by the distance you had been widening for the past four months? Or because that was a normal reaction after sacrificing something important for a better cause? You were doing that for both of you, especially for him. Your intentions were good. Why wasn't it working?
And now there you were, completely frozen, face to face with him in the late spring evening as he suddenly banged on your door, ten minutes after you ignored his text once more.
You were now staring at the upset man in front of you. Due to shock, you couldn't look away. You allowed his eyes to burn into you.
He was drenched from the pouring rain outside, standing at your door that you should've never opened. His expression and posture reminded you of a wild animal that was about to attack you.
Your hand trembled on the knob as you contemplated slamming the door in his stoic but serious face. All you wanted to do was crawl under your bedsheets to hide for the rest of your miserable life.
You were wrong from the very beginning. You didn't put on any sacrifice. You've been running away like a coward, and at that very moment, you were about to receive your punishment.
"We need to talk, don't you think?" The jaw muscles tensing up under his skin as he almost hissed the words out.
You had to get away from him, as far as possible. Far away, so it was easier for you to breathe again. It was time to dig through the long list of excuses that, to be honest, you were running out of.
"I was actually getting ready to leave for a night out with girls, so can we…"
His index finger pointed in your face, which stopped you from continuing the poor act.
"This is the only chance I'm giving you to explain what's happening, (y/n). If you close this fucking door on me…" he hesitated but the power in his voice didn't weakened, "you'll never see me again."
The breath abruptly left your lungs. You swore your heart stopped for a second just to restart its beating with double the speed. You heard your blood pumping in your veins as the inner panic unleashed from his words that were like a magic spell.
There was no bluff in his words. He didn't mean to scare you, despite him knowing you were vulnerable for empty threats like that. The warning was absolutely backed up. You could see it by the way he stood there before you, how he clenched his fists, the way he looked at you with devouring anger in his brown eyes.
No doubt, you crossed all possible lines. And you had no idea how to handle the consequences. You knew one thing, you'd rather die than never see him again.
"What do you mean?" You still tried, wishfully thinking he spoke about something else.
No answer came your way. He simply passed you by and stormed inside your apartment. You were too scared to protest, not after the eyes he gave you before walking in.
You slowly closed the door, in need of every second to gather all the shreds of courage you had in you. There wasn't much.
Somewhat ready to get eaten alive by the unbearable remorse, you finally turned around. However, he disappeared from your eyes' reach.
"Yunho…"
"You still have some of those spare clothes I left once after a party?" He yelled from what you realized was your bedroom. "I'm totally soaked."
The last thing you cared about now was wet stains on your wooden floor, spreading from the door through the living room up to your bedroom and glistening in the weak lamp light.
You couldn't form a word, every sound was caged in your throat. The anxiety began its biggest harvest inside you. You felt all the strength leaving your body. All you could muster up was standing on your two feet in the middle of your living room, and that alone was impressive in your current state.
You were registering his steps in the other room. Yunho walked into the bathroom to get rid of the wet clothes. He spoke to himself about how nice that the dryer was there. Then he reentered the bedroom and next you heard nothing but his loud sighs.
"Come here." His voice had little volume to it, but the depth of its tone resonated in your ears and echoed in your whole being. The command was crystal clear and sent a set of sharp shivers down your spine.
You let your feet lead you to the doorframe of your room. However, you stopped them there.
He was sitting on your bed, aggressively rubbing the towel on his wet hair. He wore his plain black T–shirt and pair of gray sweatpants you stored in your drawer after he forgot it months ago. He looked like he had just walked out of the shower.
"Do you hate me?" He asked suddenly, still not looking at you. "Maybe I scared you with something I said or did?"
You wanted to refuse, feeling your heart cracking even more, but no sound left your dry mouth.
He, on the other hand, had a lot to say.
"Did I do something wrong, hmm? Cause I've spent three months going back and forth to all our meetings, and I genuinely don't know what that would be." He laughed bitterly, still drying his thick black hair.
You felt like shrinking while the guilt that kept growing towered over you unforgivably. You had seen Yunho angry before but never at you. Why were you so stupid to think it would never reach you after all you had done?
A tint of sadness invaded his chords, "You suddenly started to avoid me, mumble something under your nose instead of answering me, or you have been straight up ignoring me. You don't pick up my calls or respond to my texts and if you do it's always the same shit 'I'm busy, will call you later' which is bullshit cause you never do, (y/n)."
The tears showed up in your eyes, and you bit your lip to stop them from pouring out like a tidal wave.
He noticed it. The hand with a towel dropped on his legs.
"I don't know, did someone tell you we can't be friends or make you feel bad about it?"
Yes. Me. You cried inside your jumbled mind.
"No." You uttered, swallowing your tears.
"Then what?" He urged, aggressively tossing the towel aside after he turned it into a damp ball. Now, all his attention was paid to you, and you felt bare under his eyes.
"I don't know what to tell you." You whispered, the lump in your throat only grew.
"The truth, (y/n)." He begged. "If you don't want to be friends anymore, then fine, I can't force you. But after all this time and memories we've made, I think I deserve to hear a reason behind your decision. Not to mention everything was fine 'till Hongjoong's birthday."
Him, now linking the dots, made you feel as icy needles ruched in your blood, tearing your veins.
Something did happen at your friend's birthday party. One innocent game, alcohol untying people's mouths, and you ended up begging God to help you erase that night from your head.
You thought you kept your composure after drunk Bona spilled her crush on your best friend. This one sentence that she sang toward him smashed the glass of denial and released all the spirits of truth. The realization hit you like thunder, and the effects never left with time.
After that, you slowly, nor drastically, began walking away. Your behavior should not have been seen as related to that party's events.
If it was so clear to Yunho, was it obvious to everybody else?
Although he was right.
What were you thinking? It is Yunho, we're talking about. He would never leave a problem untouched when he saw one. There was nowhere to run and hide now, and it never had been.
You reached your hand to the light switch and let the room get embraced by darkness. There was no option for him to see the shame on your face when you would be telling him the issue that tormented both of you.
He didn't say anything, handing you the mic.
You walked inside the room and slid to the wall, calling on it for support. You were placed in front of him but at a safe but far distance.
"I love you." You confessed, shaking like a leaf. "I don't know what is happening, but I know I want you so much. Every inch of me craves for you, and I lost all control over my own self when it comes to you to the point I can't sleep at night, eat, or think straight. I've never felt like this before, about anyone. And we're best friends. I have no right…" The guilt caged your voice.
The silence on his side was crushing. That was the end. You had nothing to lose.
You took a deep breath, "That's why I've avoided you and purposely ignored you. I have to stay away, Yunho. For both of our sakes."
You heard him taking a few deep breaths.
"Why didn't you just tell me?" Somehow, his voice bore the accusation.
"I was scared of rejection." You chuckled at your miserable position. "The girls laughed that I sounded absolutely obsessed when I told them about this. They said they were only joking, but I started wondering and got scared. What if I am? You asked if you scared me with something. You didn't. I'm scared of myself. Because…no one sane acts like that. No one sane falls in love with their friend."
As you finished the confession, you dared to look his way. Your eyes got used to the dark, and you managed to see his darkened features.
The left side of his face was slightly illuminated by the dim light coming from the living room. You were watched intensively as he was eyeing you up.
His upper body was leaned forward, his arms resting on his spread knees. He looked…disappointed? Angry? You couldn't really tell. However, his deep breathing betrayed that the chaos you let out in indeed affected him.
The question was how would he accept what you brought upon him.
"I'm sorry." You breathed out on the edge of crying. You felt awful by ruining your amazing friendship. "Truly."
He submerged his finger in his damp fuzzy hair and then proceeded to wipe his face. He seemed deep in thought. You watched how he stroked his thighs a few times before standing up.
"Yunho…" you gulped, seeing him closing the distance between you.
He was getting dangerously close.
"Please, stop."
The man listened to your command. Still, he halted only half a meter from you. Yunho gave you a second to calm down, let your guard down, therefore you had no time for reaction as his arm suddenly reached out for your hand, grabbing your wrist firmly, and began pulling you close to him.
You quietly whimpered, trying to twist your hand out of his grasp, but there was no use. He mercilessly dragged you until your bodies met.
You couldn't look up, not with all the panic thriving inside you. However, he did not mean to stop. You felt his finger underneath your chin, and suddenly, you found yourself looking in his eyes that shone with a new light in the dark room.
"I would never reject you." He let out a firm but gentle whisper. "What do you think that I came here for? To fight for you."
The bangs of his wet hair tickled your forehead. He stood so close to you like he only ever did in your intrusive thoughts and uncontrolled fantasies. You had no choice but to let his scent of cologne and rain embrace you from all sides.
"And if you really think that it's an obsession, don't worry." He spoke again, this time his voice was hoarse as he struggled to speak, his thumb and eyes now wandering around your half opened lips. "I'll take all of it."
The touch of his lips was more than you imagined. You whimpered into his mouth, at which he responded with a smile. You fought not to push him away from the intensity of your surprise. Everything was happening too fast and not how you had seen it in your head for uncountable times when thinking about the face-off.
Yunho kissed you slowly as if he was giving you time to get used to his touch and his taste. He let go of your wrist, and after gently putting your arm around his neck, he carefully wrapped your waist. His other hand moved from your chin on the side of your head. The embrace tightened.
You couldn't say you just allowed him to pull you close to him. You were like a ragdoll. The rollercoaster of severe emotions took away your will to move. He could’ve done anything he wanted to do to you, placed you anywhere he needed you to be. You were completely frozen.
Yunho was considerate of your state and didn’t want to push you. He broke the kiss and pulled his head back to look at you with a slight smile that showed understanding.
"Do you want me to leave you alone? If you need time and talk about it once you’re ready, I’ll wait." He assured you, the gentleness in his tone making your heart flutter. "I’ll wait as long as you need me to."
"I– I don’t know." You stuttered, no volume to your weak voice. "W– what would you want?:
"Can I be indecently honest?"
You nodded, the hope sparking in your heart.
"I want to stay. I missed you so much. For the past months, whenever we met, I felt like you were light years away despite you standing right beside me. So I want to kiss all your doubts and fears away so we both never feel that way again. I want to hold you close, taste you. I want to relearn my name as you moan it all night long. I want you. I've wanted you for so long." He flooded you with the confession that held much more fire and confidence than yours from a minute ago.
You trembled in his arms, grabbing more onto his shirt at his back as he wiped away a single tear that managed to escape and roll on your redden cheek. It felt like a dream, and you felt the familiar anxiety of the moment you would have to wake up as it happened all the time before.
After all these months of pain from keeping yourself away from the man you've been falling in love with, feeling like he was slipping through your hands with your own help, you were a shadow of a woman. You were a ruin.
"What’s your decision?"
But the will to fix everything that was broken smoldered inside you, and you felt that with the right blow of wind, it would turn into impressive flames.
"Stay."
He quickly groaned at your allowance, and your faces got close again. Both his arms now embraced your waist and back.
"Of all the things I just said, which one do you want me to do the most?" He asked, his lips brushing yours.
"Everything." You breathed out without hesitation. Experiencing the long yearning, you needed to feel everything, from innocence to obscene.
Your lips interlocked again, but this time, nothing tamed you for kissing him back as you had always desired.
With every breath between, the kiss was getting hotter, wetter. Your tongues twirled in a wild dance, teeth hooking on each other's lips. With quiet whimpers and moans, you drove each other crazy.
His damp hair was tangled in your inpatient fingers that massaged the back of his head and neck. He moaned in your lips from the affection. The sweet adlip instantly woke up the aching between your legs.
You felt the wall behind your back again. One of his arms left your waist and was placed above your head.
He broke the kiss, "You really thought that Bona's confession meant anything to me?" He panted, his half closed eyes never leaving your lips.
So he found the answer. He did mention he studied all three months of your random change.
"I didn't know what it meant to you. I was too scared to think about it. It just made me realize my feelings for you, and I feared for our friendship."
"And your solution to save our friendship was to stay away?"
"I'm sorry."
He clenched his jaw, and that alone was enough to double your already crazy heart rate. His eyes were pitch black, his brows frowned.
"It makes me really angry." He groaned. "To think your first thought was that I would reject you. That you asked yourself that tough question and saw no hope. That you went for the wrong answer. As if I ever gave you a reason to doubt."
"I'm sorry."
"It's me who's sorry, (y/n)."
You moaned at the speed he attacked your lips again. He didn't graced them for long with his unsatisfied affection as he moved onto your jaw, then sensitive neck.
You felt how his body pinned you to the wall. With the power he pushed into you, he picked you up. You were gasping for air from the waves of pleasure shaking your body as his hungry mouth kissed, licked, and bit on your skin.
"You always smell so fucking good." He cooed sultry, placing his hands under your ass, forcing you to put your legs onto his hips.
He pushed himself with you in his arm off the wall and began walking you two to your bed.
You were released from his tight embrace and let him push you on the sheets. With aw, you watched him remove his shirt, putting his beautifully shaped torso and abs on display.
"Now's your turn." He snarled.
His hands went down to your cotton, loose shirt, and ripped it apart with one pull. Your bare breasts bounced free. You only now remembered you had no bra on.
"Yunho–"
But he didn't care about your surprise. He just gently laid on your side, supporting his weight on his elbow. His chest rubbed on your right breast in a slow massage that had you wave underneath him.
"Goddamn it, (y/n)."
His hand embraced your neck, giving it a little squeeze. You watched it going down to your chest, between your naked breasts, and then lower on your stomach where his wrist twisted to go south. Now, you had his long fingers getting dangerously close to your throbbing folds.
You grabbed the sheets at the touch of his fingertip.
"Ahh.."
"I'm not the one who's getting soaked tonight." He smirked watching how your wetness spread underneath your leggings as his middle finger circled on your clit.
He wanted more, your loud moans too accompanying your flooding nectar. Two fingers decisively entered your pussy as the thumb worked on your pearl.
"Oh my…" you whined, arching your back.
To make your torture more difficult, he leaned his lips to your ear and began feeding your mind with the obscene.
"You're always so wet when I'm on your mind, kitten? Do your fingers fuck this dripping cunt like mine are now when your all alone?" He whispered, his breaths tickling your neck, "I can assure you, I walk hard all day because of you."
The image of him stroking himself fast, rough while moaning your name was a perfect way to bring you closer to the edge as his fingers now fucked you with a full speed.
"Yes." He grunted, satisfied with your whimpers and trembling pelvis. "Cum for me."
Yunho drank the sweetest sounds of euphoria from your lips. Your cute moans were like ambrosis for his ears. He craved for more, his soul, heart, and ego demanded more.
He sucked on the skin of your neck as his hand massaged the last ounces of orgasm from you.
"I dreamed of this so many times (y/n) – my fingers, all sticky and wet from your juices."
"Yunho…" you begged. "Please."
The yearning for him or his words along with skillful touch; you couldn't tell, but something was making you lose your sanity way too fast.
Yunho smug eyes began reading your needs. He just licked his lips before walking away to let the room bask in light again.
With the cover of the dark, you felt more secure. Now you laid there, feeling like there were hundreds of eyes watching you, even though the only person in the room with you was Yunho, who just nonchalantly stood there; one hand on the light switch, and the other, that just were inside you, on his sticked out tongue.
Unconsciously, you began closing your legs, putting hands over your chest, but he was quick to stop you.
He agility climbed on to you. Now you had his weight pinning you down, his slim pelvis between your thighs and his hands holding your hands about your head.
"Don't you even hide from me again." He warned you, looking you deep in the eyes.
His arm found its way under you, and with one pull, he moved you further up the bed before he raised himself and sat on his hills.
"I forgot to ask before ripping off your shirt," he smiled adorably, "but do you cherish your leggings?"
Knowing what was coming and feeling more than just excited about it, you shook your head.
Your soaked leggings and underwear shared the same fate as your shirt. With no hesitation, Yunho grabbed them in his fingers and ripped them apart.
You felt the cold licking your dripping slit, wishing it was that man's tongue.
"I had to turn the light back on." He grinned while studying your quivering folds. "I had to see it in detail."
His brow raised, and his eyes became absent as if they recalled something, a thought he cherished.
"I'm genuinely unable to count how many nights I imagined your taste." He voiced it. "How would you feel on my tongue. So soft and warm."
You shivered at those words. The way he said it, the way he watched you with almost worship… Yunho finally found himself on the spot he longed to be for many months.
"It's all yours." You whimpered.
He looked in your eyes again, searching for a bluff, but he was visibly relieved to see your genuine, needy expression.
"Put your pretty ass up for me, please."
You did what you were told, getting rid of the shirt, well now its shreds. Arching your back as your upper body stretched on the bed, you stuck your slightly circling butt towards him.
A gasp left your mouth as the smack landed on your plump cheek. It was sudden but more than welcomed.
"Somehow, I've always known you're filthy." He snickered, clearly glad of your reaction.
"There are a lot of things you have not found out about me yet." You uttered, biting your lip with a smile.
You flinched from another hit that left a stingy feeling and added another flood of your juices between your thighs. There was no option to not let the moan escape your chords.
"I can say the same about you." He growled as if you were about to learn something forbidden.
You felt how he grabbed your ripped leggings and slid it off your hips, down to your knees.
The warmth of his tongue almost made you cry. You grabbed the sheet between your teeth. Slow, but firm licks were meant to have you beg in a second. However, your taste was too much for Yunho to play the game of teasing any further.
He spread your cheeks and dived in deeper.
The man put his whole spirit to savor you with the way his tongue lapped on your folds, latched on your quivering core. He fed on your uninhibited wails that Yunho could swear were a balm to his heart that almost got broken today if you had not opened the door.
He now knew you were his, the same way he belonged to you. Completely. Equal in this healthy obsession.
The essence on his lips worked like the best aphrodisiac for his nature. He wanted to have you loud in pleasure, trembling in ecstasy. For a moment, he craved to control all over your being. Just so you could feel loved, desired, and perfect. So you could see yourself through his eyes.
His tongue found its way inside you. It was sudden, unexpected but more than appreciated.
"Ahh, yes." You hissed, the sheet ripping in your fists.
Yunho shifted his position to have better access to you. Your eyes rolled back at the depth he was penetrating you with. Long, skillfully muscle waved and curled within your walls.
His thumb began drawing circles around your upper hole. Gently, hesitant at first, but your appreciation for his tease made him brave enough to go inside.
With his tongue and thumb sunk inside, Yunho was at the finish of shaping a devastating orgasm for you.
Your face twisted with unbearable pleasure. Moans sent his way were full of gratitude and admiration for his mastery. For a few moments this man managed to make you feel like flying, see the stars above.
He abandoned your holes when he felt the last shreds of bliss left you. You fell flat on your bed, trying to bring yourself down on earth.
Yunho took his time to climb up your spine with juicy kisses, at the same time getting rid of his pants and underwear.
"Yunho." You called him between deep breaths to calm yourself down.
"Yes, beautiful?' He planted a kiss on your shoulder.
You touched his arm.
"Claim me."
He froze above you. You only felt his hot breath on the back of your neck. Somehow, it had you alerted.
You slowly turned on your back, still caged between his arms. His eyes were dark, full of unknown, to you, thoughts. Maybe what you needed from him sounded too much of a commitment. You confessed your feelings. You made him aware of your love. Yet…he didn't say anything back. Only that he wanted you.
"Will you?" You asked quietly, too scared to put any volume to not scare him away or worse, make him realize it was a mistake.
Still with this mysterious expression, he laid onto you, skin to skin. Your faces so close, you could see your reflection in his eyes.
"Like my life depends on it." He said into your lips, tone heavy with sweet threat. "In fact, it does."
You interlocked in a kiss that felt like a seal to what just occurred rather than simple affection. He kissed you deeply, desperately, but most of all you sensed a gratitude.
His velvet hardness began grinding on your sensitive spot with subtle yet decisive moves, lubricating his length with your wetness in the process.
You broke the kiss from all the air leaving your lungs. He was hard, hot against your skin, begging to enter you. And your pussy cramped at the pleas, more violently each second.
"Please."
He put his forehead to yours. Took a few deep breaths before he finally said:
"I love you."
Only then he allowed himself to push inside.
The words you had wanted to hear for so long and the soul easing fullness have tears falling from your eyes. He groaned at your tightness that engulfed him and spasmed around him. The warmth and your nectars embraced him whole.
You gasped loudly as he moved further, concurring more inches of your inferior. Yunho was exactly how you imagined him to be. Long and thick, with popping veins that rubbed on your walls. You moaned, whined, and squirmed with every push and pull.
"Can I go faster?" He wiped your tears of joy away.
"Yes." You panted. "You can now."
After a slow pull, he pinned into you with power, having you gasp in sudden pleasure.
He leaned on the side, now nuzzling your ear.
"You're taking me so well. I knew you would." He whispered, and if all your nerves weren't already awakened, now they were.
The pace fastened. He was taking you, fully almost possessive. He went deep, attacking your sweet spot with even but strong hits. The sound you made bordered with sobbing.
He raised up on his knees, now straddling your leg. The other one ended up over his shoulder. Only when he re‐entered you, you realized why he chose such a position. He reached depths you didn't know anyone could.
"Fuck." You cried out.
Yunho fucked you however he felt fit, placing kissing on your inner thighs as he hugged your leg while doing it. He winded and whirled his hips as he thrusted inside your defenseless cunt.
The release was approaching with no mercy.
"I'm so close." You grabbed his muscular thigh with both hands.
"I know, baby. I know." He moaned as your walls' texture rubbed onto him even more now that you were almost orgasming. You cramped around him, sucking his width unforgivably.
"Fill me in, please. I need your cum inside me." You couldn’t help but beg when the speed and force he was obliterating you with was too overwhelming. You had to have him burst inside. It was what you mean by claiming you, owning you.
He cursed loudly and leaned over, shifting his weight on his arms.
"You have no idea what you've just started."
The new position allowed the man to put on even more speed and power, pushing you off the cliff, straight to the void of the most heavenly bliss.
The euphoria embraced you from all sides. A flow of your juices flooded his cock, making it harder, too hard to not to explode.
"Oh fuck, yes." He whined and soon joined you in ecstasy. He pumped inside with low grunts leaving his throat, and you melted over the feeling of hot load, every last drop nourishing every corner of you.
He slid out after a few soothing pushes, followed by his semen. Yunho didn't have to watch this physical proof he claimed you. He knew you all his. He just lowered down and caught your weak frame in a tight, warm embrace.
Both calmed yourselves down by inhaling your scents, so familiar yet so new.
His eyes when he finally landed at you were smiling, all dreamy. You knew what Yunho's happy face looked like, and it was all plastered on his features right now.
You felt like your heart was about to burst out of your chest at the sight. He was happy because of you. You made him this joyful.
"You love me." You slipped. The excitement and emotion didn't allow you to keep quiet.
He kissed you and kept smiling.
"You have no idea."
You didn't hide this time when Yunho watched you as if he learned your details by heart. You wanted him to see the woman and all her love she got for him.
"Come." He said and got off the bed. "We both need a long and hot shower."
"Soaking again?" You giggled lazily, admiring this Adonis of a man that now stood in front of you in all his glory. You bit your lips at the view of his glistening pride, knowing it all was for you to love and pleasure.
Seeing your eyes wandering all over him, Yunho couldn't help but smirk at your bluntness. He then leaned over to kiss your forehead.
"Better get used to it."
You realized how stupid you were to think you could live without his melodic laugh.
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on-leatheredwings · 2 months
Text
Dirty Laundry (18+)
Yandere! Dick Grayson x (Fem) Reader
> romantic, 18+ > Request: I think Dick would be a major creep and your rules didn't say anything about no nsft, so can I ask for a fic with this scenario: Dick stealing reader's underwear and using the dirty ones to get off while cumming into the clean ones. And putting the "clean" ones back into her dresser hoping she doesn't notice the stains and wears them? Thanks! > a/n: …………………………………… Ohhhh, so you’re crazy. Meaning, you’re just like me . thanks for the dick request i want to write him better/more ;u; had fun writing this! > tw: someone cumming in your panties without your consent or knowledge, so sexual assault. As well as yandere-typical thoughts and behaviors. > Word count: 1847 (Ugh this was supposed to be like 3 paragraphs max but i’m me.)
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Dick’s your best friend. 
… You guess.
He was new to Blüdhaven, and you two just seemed to keep bumping into each other in the rare times you left your apartment. Might as well get to know the guy. You didn’t have much choice in the matter, once he attached to you. And that was okay, because you liked him back and, frankly, were in quite desperate need for friends. The man currently lounges on your bed, sifting through a magazine while you’re mixing audio for this indie rock cover band that’s commissioned you. That’s your side hustle and passion, when you’re not being a work-from-home researcher for S.T.A.R. Labs. 
You’re an hour into your work and Dick Grayson is lounging on his spot on your bed, because he has claimed a spot at this point. All is well with the world. Then, your stomach lets out a groan, and so do you.
A pair of eyes, all ocean blue and twinkling, slide over to you without a second’s hesitation. You meet them, unblinking and unperturbed. Does he know he’s kind of a freak? Being all light-eyed and adoring?
You stand up without fanfare, removing your headphones from your ears and letting them sit around the column of your neck.
“I’m going to get food from the place next door.”
You yawn and walk away from your desk. That usually was much harder for you, but Grayson’s presence in your life had made it more of a priority for you to care for yourself. “Don’t touch anything,” you say, plainly and without venom. Without another word, you’re gone, and Dick launches up from his seat once he hears the front door to your flat close.
He told himself he was going to do this today. He told himself, and he is a man of his word.
He opens the bottom drawer of your dresser, where he knows you keep your clean pairs of underwear. Then he trespasses into your closet, where he knows you keep your laundry basket.
Dick knows where a lot of things are in your apartment, and he has made it his job to know every inch of your bedroom specifically. When you leave the room, like times like this, he enjoys going around and familiarizing himself with everything. And he’s planted cameras, of course. He does leave your en-suite restroom alone, an act he pats himself on the back for. You deserved your privacy, after all. To his disappointment, you do tend to masturbate exclusively in the shower, and he must tide himself over with the audio his cameras pick up, rather than visuals.
After a moment’s hesitation, Dick buries his hands into your laundry basket. These were the things… you wore. His eyes twinkle as he smiles. Still, he had no time to waste. While often busy, the Chinese place you were at was also known for its fast service. Dick grabs the first pair of panties he sees: blue lace-trim, white in color, with blue gingham. You’re so cute. 
He sits in your closet, back to your hamper, slides off the jeans that look really good on him which he hopes you’ve noticed. All of these actions are done a little clumsier than normal because his pulse roars in his ears.
He lets his head fall backward, and he begins pumping his cock with your panties in that same hand. He thinks of your face, your body, your hands. He really likes your hands, so adept and amble, always flying across a keyboard or strumming a guitar. He thinks about the honest things you say, truthful but usually with tact. He thinks about your eyes crinkling when he’s being a show-off, and your pretty lips that you’re usually wetting with your tongue rather than finally just getting lip balm. 
At this point, Dick is a wreck, eyes glazed over and only half-open. His eyelashes flutter as he struggles to keep them open. He goes slack-jawed, pink lips only a little swollen from his biting down on them. He’s about to finish, he knows he is. It’s building in him like the birth of a tidal wave. Pre-cum and his sweat have soiled your gingham pair, and he looks at the very plain pair of navy blue boyshorts in his free hand, clenched into a fist. He finds himself blushing. Your underwear is so… you, and it’s hilarious that holding them in his hand is what is flustering him so much. Considering what he’s doing.
Dick whimpers, a sound that’s both embarrassing and utterly liberating. Pleasure pulses in between his legs, his back shoots into an arch, his balls hike up to the base of his cock. He cums with a raspy cry, right onto the crotch of your boyshorts. He had initially planned to just finish anywhere on the fabric, but at the last second decided to cum where your cunt would touch. He’s kind of romantic like that. (He’s also kind of a pervert, and he knows that.)
He pants in the afterglow of his orgasm, cheeks painted over with rosy pink. He tosses your white pair back into its home, the laundry basket.
His calloused fingers reach up for the corner of his mouth, which had been agape this whole while. 
… Was he drooling? 
Dick robotically proceeds to rub his semen into your underwear until it's just a dark stain. He pulls his dark jeans from the pool of black denim they formed at his ankles, he runs his fingers through his hair at a job well done. He returns your boyshorts to your dresser, neatly folding them like all the rest. And finally, he wipes his mouth. He returns to your bed, and it’s like nothing has happened since you left.
Dick Grayson – Gotham pretty boy, badass superhero – should probably cringe; in any other context, isn’t that so lame…? But considering it was you, honestly, what could he have expected…
You come back into your bedroom, a bag of takeout swinging from your hands. His eyes don’t leave you for an instant.
… You simply have that effect on him. 
You stomp through his room until you’re right in front of him, where he pretends to be scrolling on his phone. Your arms are akimbo as you stare down at him, blocking your room’s overhead light with your skull and casting your shadow over him. He looks up and smiles cheekily.
“Alright, Dickard.” Dick’s lips quirk. “Get out. I’m going to shower and change.” Sniffing yourself on the way back, you decided it was high time you did. 
Dick’s brain goes a mile a minute. Shower. Change. Underwear? His heart skitters but he doesn’t show it. 
“Aw, don’t let me stop you. Feel free,” he teasingly sings.
Your eye twitches and you take it upon yourself to physically move him. Not that you could if he chose to actually resist. You know that he must be strong, stronger than ‘doing acrobatics as a hobby’ must make someone. You’ve caught a peek at his abdomen and biceps now and then. Guy is ripped. 
“Go eat,” you order, throwing the takeout into his hand. “I got enough for the both of us.” Why, Dick could twirl his hair and kick his feet right now – despite a prickly exterior, you really were a sweetheart, weren’t you? He refuses to have you pay for him though. He will definitely be returning the favor thricefold.
You successfully shoo the six feet tall model out of your room. 
Once he’s out, you take your shower, standing for five minutes in the spray until it grows warm. You think with amusement at the idea of movies and TV making women showering such a sexy, erotic scene. Bitch, you are in here scrubbing pots and pans. 
After the job’s done, your feet land on your worn shower mat from college, and pad towards your bedroom once more. You catch a towel on your way there, belatedly remembering that Dick Grayson may still be loitering in your bedroom, and you weren’t too keen on the idea of him seeing your private bits. Warily shifting eyes from behind the door, you see no one’s around.
Knock knock. 
“Are you done?”
Dick’s voice from the hallway makes you panic, fearful that he may burst in before you’re ready and presentable. 
“Don’t you know it’s rude to interrupt a woman while she’s getting ready in her boudoir!“ you yell, hoping some rich person’s instinct suddenly clicks in him. You thought rich men were supposed to be gentlemanly. Really, ever since meeting Dick, who is son to the richest man in the state, you’ve learned rich people all must be whiny, clingy, braggers, show-offs, and sometimes, just plain brats. In your hurry, you swipe a panty from your drawer and slip it on past your thighs. Body still damp from the shower, you don’t notice anything. 
The rest of your clothes follow, and you choose to sit back down in your desk chair. You turn back to your double monitor set up, ready to become a screen zombie once more when you remember someone’s waiting for you.
Without turning around, you holler, “Come in.” 
Without a moment’s pause, Dick reenters, takeout plated for the both of you in each hand. He places one smoothly in front of you with butler-like precision. 
“Your meal, madam,” Dick says in a Parisian accent, and you do smile in amusement. His eyes dilate, but you don’t notice.
“Thank you, my fine sir,” you return, a little embarrassed, accent weak, but willing to keep up the bit.
Dick knows not to disturb you too much while you work, so he wanders away as you slip your headphones over your ears once more. But before returning to His Spot on the bed, he quietly treads to your dresser. He sneaks a glance to make sure you’re still occupied. And you are, that blue wash of light painting your skin. 
He pulls out the drawer, and– hhhhh.
He heaves with breath involuntarily, although it’s nearly imperceptible. You do make him slip more than he likes, but he’s experienced. He glances once more to make sure you didn’t hear that, and of course you didn’t. You’re still fiddling in Ableton Live.
He shuts the drawer and stalks to His Spot on the bed, and anyone who knows Dick Grayson would see that he is tense. He is stiff.
And how could he not be? You’re wearing the underwear he had cum on. Did you notice? Is this your way of coming onto him? No, you’re too forward to play games… Something he finds both refreshing and a shame, because he loves games. You simply mustn't have noticed. Regardless, the knowledge fills him with such ecstasy and arousal… and longing. 
He eyes you discreetly as his skin reddens. He tries to act natural by eating steaming orange chicken, plucking it from his plate with a chopstick. One day, he’ll have you, in body and soul. 
Until then, he can entertain himself with this game, however one-sided.
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rukkiya · 10 months
Text
goodbye isn’t for forever
(al haitham x reader, zhongli x reader (separate)
༻ part 2 to take it back༺
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al haitham ⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚
It's been two weeks since you’ve left.
The once lively apartment Al Haitham had taken for granted was no more, it was far too quiet for the scholar.
The silence was far too loud. He couldn’t concentrate on his work.
The same work that had led him to push you away.
He’s seen you around of course, he checks up on you and makes sure you’re doing well through mutual friends or passing by shops/places you’d both go together.
He hasn’t slept properly since you’ve left, he doesn’t remember the last time he was alone in bed without you next to him.
He thinks back to the times you’d wake up at night and get him from his study, dragging him to bed because he has to be up at the crack of dawn because you wanted him to sleep, because you cared. Now he’s stays wide awake, not worrying about work or other matters for once, instead he was worried about you.
No one has brought it up to him though, they couldn't.
He thought he was hiding it well, keeping it masked under his unrelenting face but the emotions he felt were being shown through his eyes.
During Al Haithams meeting with Cyno he was stammering, taking one too many pauses because he couldn't concentrate on anything. Cyno merely eyes the two wedding bands linked around a silver chain sitting on top of the scholar's chest but says nothing of it, well that is because he already knows.
“Have you tried talking things out? He looks like shit.” Cyno sits next to you, handing you a bottle of water sighing when he sees the corners of your lips tug down at the mention of Al Haitham.
“I can’t, after what he’s done. What makes you think that he wants me in his life anyways? Look, he was the one who threw his wedding band at me. I didn’t do it, he did.” You lay your head on the table huffing as Cyno sighs again.
He doesn’t like seeing you this way. He’s not the most fond of Al Haitham but seeing him down, with an expression other than a punchable face, it actually makes Cyno feel bad for him. You both being this torn was more on you guys than you expected.
“You miss him, you miss him more than you're letting on. From what I can see he misses you too.” Cyno leans back on his seat, you slightly turn your forehead on the table to glance at him, seeing that knowing look he always wears when he knows he’s right.
“Y/n, for as long as I’ve known Al Haitham I’ve never heard him stumble on his words or look worse than now. You might not accept that because yeah you’re right it is his fault. Everything he’s said and done to you isn’t excusable by a long shot but if he really truly meant it, he wouldn't be beating himself over it this bad.” Cyno explains, putting his hand on top of your head and ruffling your hair making you grumble and turn away.
“I’m scared, we’ve been together for so long, married for just as long and for him to do that I- I can’t just let it go so easily you know? He’s probably held it in for so long and he finally spoke the truth, what if I’ve been a hindrance this whole-“
“Stop.” Cyno clicks his tongue, making his hand into a fist and softly bonking your head.
“You always do that. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Listen, you said it right now didn’t you hear? You’ve been together and married for so long, don't you think he would’ve told you beforehand? If anything you made him more tolerable, he seemed content and happy with you. But right now he seems lost.” Cyno removes his hand from your head and crosses his arms.
“But I did something just as bad Cyno I took mines off too.” You turn your head to face Cyno again, feeling your voice crack just remembering how Al Haitham’s face looked completely horrified when you did that.
“Go home and you’ll see. Go home to him y/n he’ll have it waiting for you I can guarantee.” Cyno smiles at you knowing look in his eyes, he knows Al haitham wants you home just as bad, he’s keeping your ring on him for when you do come back.
Your chest feels heavy, your hands are sweaty as you stare at the familiar wooden door to your shared house with Al Haitham.
It’s only been two weeks, it feels like forever since you've walked out. You didn't even bother getting your things.
You raise your hand and hold it up, contemplating as to whether or not this was a good idea. But you feel your knuckles tap against the wooden door a few times and freeze, holding still to hear any movement from within.
Nothing.
No footsteps, no moving, no talking.
You do it again only to get the same empty response.
You feel your stomach drop.
Is he ignoring me? Did I really mess it up? Why did I leave like that? You feel your eyes burn as you continue to state at the door, mind thinking the worst.
‘Y-Y/n?” Al Haitham whispers from behind you.
He blinks a few times, making sure he's not hallucinating. There's been a few incidents where he thought you came back home a few days ago and it wasn't you, he didn't want to get his hopes up.
You blink at the door and hold your breath, slowly turning your head to look back at a distraught looking Al Haitham.
You open your mouth to say sorry, to apologize for leaving him when you should have just talked things out but nothing comes out, instead a small whimper escapes as your vision gets more blurry. His eyes, the look in his eyes made your throat swell. When you first met him it was so hard to read him, to tell his emotions but the look in his eyes right now says everything.
This tears Al Haitham from the inside out, his long legs walk up the small step to your house and he opens his arms as he nears you immediately wrapping them around you and pulling you in close, his eyes blown wide.
“It's you- you're here I didnt think you were- I thought you weren't coming back.” He exhales a shaky breath as he brings you closer, one hand cradling your head and other pulling you up from your torso.
“I'm sorry, I'm so sorry for what I've said to you. It's inexcusable to say it's because of my work when you were just trying to help, you always do and I need that, I need you here to keep me grounded to keep me sane, you're anything but a hindrance, you help me in ways I never thought anyone could. Please stay. Don't leave me again.” he pulls back, hands moving to hold your face as he rests his forehead on yours.
“I will marry you over and over again if I have to prove myself.” one of his hands moves from your cheek, grabbing your hand in his and placing it on his chest where the necklace with the rings are.
“Haitham I'm sorry I left you alone I should've just listened.” you grab his hand that was holding your cheek, closing your eyes at the warmth you've missed so much feeling the tears you were holding slide down your face. Al Haitham only shakes his head
“Don't apologize to me. No one should have to hear that. Be treated that way, especially you.” he feels his hands shake slightly, with you in his hold. He feels like it's fake, like it's another one of the dreams he's been having since you've left him like he's going to wake up and you're still going to be gone.
“Please don't leave me, I need you home to keep me grounded. I missed you more than you can imagine.” He hugs you again, pulling your head into his chest and closing his eyes.
Throughout all the time you've been with him you've never seen him so on edge, look so scared. Let alone be this affectionate, you can feel it in the way he holds you , the way he speaks, he truly feels bad for what he said and done. Though you still feel torn, hurt from his actions you know you can't leave him again as you've missed him just as much.
As he holds you close, breathes in your comforting scent that he's come to love so much he vows to not take your caring for granted, that he needs you here more than anything. That he isn't himself without you.
zhongli⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚
Zhongli left, he’s gone.
You’re more than sure he’s moved on, found someone better who manages to actually care for their own well being and who doesn’t stress him out too much the way you did.
It’s what he deserves, anyways all you were doing was weighing him down, putting him under constant stress and worry to the point he couldn’t take it anymore.
It’s you, you’re the one who pushed him away the only good thing you had going on is now never coming back
Though he's been gone, Zhongli kept his word, he’s kept an eye on you since the day he left you.
A whole year had flown by agonizingly slow. It was driving him crazy as more time passed he grew worried you didn’t want him back.
During the duration of the year he’s noticed how you care more about your well being more. You took a break from adventuring and weren't as reckless. You started to work at your fathers local bakery to get back on your feet as you recovering from your injuries, Zhongli was relieved.
Though you seemed fine on the outside you only grew to despise yourself more than you ever had before since he’s left. You knew you didn’t deserve him and having him leave just proved your hurt heart more to that fact.
Zhongli kept his word, still watching over you from far away places, making sure to keep out of your line of view but more than anything he wanted to go back to you, wanted to go back home with you where you both belong.
The year with him gone was a process, one that took your mind into a very dark place.
You were hurt for so long, then you grew angry only for it all to ball up into self hatred.
During your time away from him you’ve reflected, taken care of yourself physically but mentally you were drained, it was constant nagging going on. Zhongli would be the one to quell those thoughts but you only had yourself, it was getting harder as days went on.
“I can’t stand seeing you beaten and bruised yet you are all the time.”
“You’re too much for me to handle.” Zhongli sighs, finally having enough, leaving his wedding band behind and walking out the door, never turning back once.
You shoot up from bed, looking around the room as you try to regulate your breathing, seeing the sun peeking in through your curtains.
Your hand reaches over to the ever so cold side of your bed and you're thrown back to reality. You mind immediately fogging with thoughts you don't want to hear.
You were in a constant brain fog, always lost in your own thoughts.
To the point it was was starting to become a problem, you weren't aware of lots of things most of the time. Not paying attention to certain things that could easily turn dangerous.
You got ready for work as usual, made your way down to the bakery, your mind racing a thousand thoughts per second.
“Hey y/n right?” A regular that you see buying bread at your fathers bakery stops you just blocks away from the bakery.
You turn around and he walks closer to you, greeting you with a smile.
“Good Morning.” you force your lips to turn upwards.
“Your father told me to tell you to pick up some things from my house for ingredients before you go in, it's just down the street.” he points down the road to a small house by the mountain.
“Alright, I'll go grab it right now. Is it a lot of supplies?” you ask, walking down the path thinking nothing of the situation.
“Not much but I think you’ll need an extra hand if anything.” The says, following a few feet behind you, looking around the surrounding area.
Zhongli was on his usual morning stroll, passing by your fathers bakery to make sure you get to work safe when he sees a random man stop you.
He stops walking when he sees you walk the complete opposite way from the bakery, following the man down the road. He feels a familiar feeling rising in his chest once again, your putting yourself in situations you don't see are clear signs of danger.
“Yeah, I'll help you bring them back up, it's just a few bags of flour and sugar right?” you ask, the man only hums in response, walking slowly behind you. You don't think about it, instead you continue your regular pace, already dreading the day ahead of you. you know you won't be able to concentrate much already feeling drained from getting up from bed alone.
Though it was morning, the end of the street was oddly quiet for this busy part of town.
Every stall around here is usually set up by now.
You near the small house and walk up the porch, turning and waiting for the guy behind you to open it though you notice his whole demeanor change. He was much closer now looking around him before looking back at you, reaching in his pocket to grab his keys.
He walks past you and unlocks the door holding it open, mentioning for you to walk in first, so you do, hearing the door behind you close and the sound of clicking, like he was locking it behind him.
“Why're you-”
“I brought them, our deal is done.” the man clears his throat, looking directly behind you.
You freeze, looking at the man with wide eyes when you realize what he said. Feeling the hairs on the back of your neck stand as you slowly turn around seeing a group of treasure hoarders standing directly behind you.
You start to back away, reaching into your pocket and getting the small dagger you carry but feeling someone grab your arm before you can pull it out.
“No no no, don't play dirty now we just want to talk. Your father makes a good amount of money in this town, he'll surely pay a good ransom to get his precious kid back now, won't he?” a treasure hoarder laughs, squeezing your wrist making the dagger drop from your grasp.
“My father pays for my brother's medical bills. Please don't make him pay for something he can’t afford. I have money, you can take all mine and let me go. I won't say a thing.” you look at the treasure hoarder standing in the middle of the room and hear his laughter boom through the small house.
“You’re kidding me right?” his hand brings up the ax he was holding and takes a step towards you.
You don't want this, to make someone else suffer because of you. Not your own family after they are already dealing with so much.
Zhongli waited a few minutes by the house you entered and saw no sign of you coming back out, he didn't want to interfere. He has no right. He's been so scared to go back to you, he regrets leaving. He knows he shouldn't have done it that way, he should've stayed, helped you another way. He doesn't think you'd want him back after so long, he has no right to be checking on you. You've probably well moved on.
But he can't help but worry, still check on you because he still loves and cares for you, just like he said he would the day he married you. But he left you, walked out the door, left his ring but worst of all left you all alone.
He feels something off though. From the looks of it the man you were talking to wasn't someone you knew personally, he could tell from our body language, the way you distanced yourself from him. If it was a friend of yours or someone you were close you’d look more relaxed and wouldn't be so tense or distance yourself so far from them when talking.
They're taking too long. Are they ok? Zhongli thinks, eyeing the small house. Contemplating as to whether or not he should go and check.
“Listen, your father gives us the money for you and nothing else got it.” the treasure hoarder leans down to your height and you narrow your eyes at him.
“My father won't give you a penny understand? Do your worst.” You dare the man in front of you seeing his smile drop.
You stay still, seeing a small open window to the right of you from your peripherals. The dagger you dropped right next to your foot.
“You testing me kid?” the treasure hoarder steps even closer making you shrink into yourself.
You quickly duck down, sweeping your leg under the mas feet and grabbing the dagger next to you hearing a thud, you don't even turn around as you hear multiple footsteps closing in as you run to the window, your arms and torso getting out before you feel a pair of hands grab your leg.
You feel your body get pulled back in instantly, your body hitting the ground with a loud thud.
“Donp tugh mi (don’t touch me)!” you try to scream but a hand muffles you before you do.
The loud ruckus alerts Zhongli and he doesn't even take a second to think. He's outside the door in an instant before his brain can register what he's doing.
A soft knock at the door stops everyone making the guy on top of you press his hand harder against your mouth.
“Don't think about it.” he looks down at you, voice dripping with malice.
Another knock at the door and the man on top of you signal for his subordinates to stay quiet.
Zhongli was giving them a chance to prove themselves but the second time he knocked and no one answered he had enough.
It grew completely silent, the sound of footsteps walking away was heard before the door and its hinges flew into the house.
A familiar silhouette stood in the doorway and you couldn't blink, you had to be hallucinating now.
Why is Zhongli here? How did he know I was here? Your mind halts seeing his eyes glow gold.
The man on top of you was thrown off in a second as a flash of gold passed by you, the other men being knocked to the ground seconds after as everything slowed down your eyes following the gold flash going across the room.
Everything goes quiet once again. The treasure hoarders in there were now all on the floor knocked unconscious as Zhongli stood in the middle of the room, chest heaving up and down as he glares at the foolish mortals who dared to try and hurt you.
You slowly sit up and back away, not really knowing what to say to him because why? Of all time why is he here? How'd he know you were here?
He hears the floor behind him creak and turns, golden eyes narrowing at you until he comes to realize it's you, you're ok.
When he broke the door down and saw the man holding you down his mind went into autopilot, he hasn't acted out on emotion in so long, it took over him before he could control it.
“Why're you here?” you ask, looking away from him grabbing the dagger and putting it back into your pocket.
He steps forward and you step back, the anger you've been holding back is starting to surface.
“Why did you follow him? Do you trust this man this much to have him bring you here and-”
“Dont, I don't need another lecture from you.” you almost laugh. After all this time away this is what he starts with?
“Yeah I know, take care of myself, work things out, I remember trust me, after all that's the last thing you told me before leaving remember? Right now I don't have time to hear it, I have to go to work.” You don't even bother looking back at him as you walk past to leave.
“I'm sorry.” He stares at you as you stop, seeing you shake your head and look down.
“I shouldn't have left you alone, it wasn't a good way to prove myself, I just wanted you to-”
“Zhongli please don't….” you sigh, feeling the heavy feeling settling in your chest, turning to look back at him, your eyes widening when you see one of the men he knocked out get up behind him.“GET DOWN!”
Everything moved too fast, your legs, the man behind him, but Zhongli didn't move fast enough.
Old habits die hard. You feel tired from everything, thinking too much, getting up today.
Zhongli feels the weight of your body go limp as you fall forward an arrow sticking out of your back, the man he had knocked out earlier standing directly behind, wide eyes looking up at Zhongli as he realizes who exactly it was.
“I didn't mean to get them. I wasn't going to hurt them. I swear, please don't hurt me.” the man coweres as his legs give out under him. Zhongli only stares down at you in his arms, seeing your eyes fighting to stay open.
“You're going to leave again aren't you?” your voice cracks and Zhongli feels his breath hitch, the pain in his heart worsening, you think he'd leave you alone like this?
“I'm not leaving anytime soon my love, just give me a second and i'll take you to Dr Baizhu right now, whatever you do dont turn around and keep your eyes open for me.” He picks you up, carrying you to the corner of the house facing you away from the man behind you, leaning down and giving your head a kiss before standing back up.
It all feels like a dream, this can't be real, you feel far too sleepy for it to be.
Zhongli summons his polarm and stands back up, slowly walking to the man who hurt you.
You couldn't do what he wanted again, you tried but your eyes keep closing from sheer exhaustion, the last thing you heard before completely blacking out was screaming coming from behind you, the same flash of gold blinding you once again before you felt your own body go limp, succumbing into the darkness.
◇──◇─────◇──◇
authors note: hello lovelies!! ◝꒰´꒳`∗꒱◟ ohmygoodness I’m so sorry for how long I took to write a second part to this T~T I’ve just been pretty busy but I’ve been getting more inspo for more stories that I’m so freaking excited to share with y’all! :D but alas part two of take it back is here! I had to make zhongli’s part angsty and another open ending- IMSORRY ik I need to stop LOLOL but I do hope you all enjoy and that I wrote it angsty enough for y’all (some of y’all told me to make it more angsty LMAOO you all like getting your feelings hurt just like I do >.< please make sure you are all taking care and staying safe ^~^<3 (this isn’t edited so apologies for any errors!!)
@ilocqua @2hilarious4u @esthelily @cypressus-lunis @taetaebunni @coruscale @wearetherealarm @chiyukin @lum1nesc3nce @anxietysslave @starlightaura @duckyyyx @dreamlessnight @myimymy
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httpspedri26 · 6 months
Note
Hi can you do one with Jude with your losing me by Taylor swift like the one you did with pedri?
Your losing me- JB
Jude x reader
Angst
Send requests!
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“I don’t understand what’s your problem. Y/N, it was just a party,” Jude said, rolling his eyes and taking off his jacket. “Jude, I don’t care about the party. I care that you didn’t tell me where you were going. You had me worried all night, not sleeping, waiting for you to come home,” Y/N sighed. “You don’t even answer my messages anymore, Jude!”
Jude's tone grew more frustrated. "Can't you see I need some space?" he snapped. He picked up his jacket again and turned around to leave the room.
“Jude, where are you going?” Y/n rubbed her eyes and sighed as she got out of bed.
“I’m leaving y/n I’m going to a friends house” he said as he slammed the door.
She for the first time in months y/n didn’t feel her heart break anymore. Because she was so used to him leaving the house now.
And he was losing her.
As Y/N looked around the room, she remembered why she and Jude had chosen this house - because of this exact room. They loved it cause of the light.
But now she sits in the dark and wonders if it’s time. Does she throw out everything they built of keep it?
She’s getting tired even for the little things now.
The next morning, Y/N woke up with her eyes puffy and red. She reached out, hoping to find Jude beside her, but all she felt was the cold emptiness of the bed. As she sat up, a heavy sigh escaped her lips.
She quickly got up and went through her morning routine. As she finished her breakfast, the sound of the front door opening caught her attention. "Hey," Jude greeted, making his way into the kitchen and grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge.
"Hey, where were you?" Y/n asked, her gaze fixed on her plate.
"Y/n I don't really want to do this right now," Jude sighed, shutting the fridge door. Y/n furrowed her eyebrows in confusion.
"I just asked a simple question, Jude."
"Yeah, well, I don't want to talk. What part of that don't you understand?"
Taking a deep breath, she set down her fork and stood up, walking over to him. “Jude, we can’t keep avoiding this. Whatever’s going on, we need to talk about it.”
Jude’s shoulders tensed, his gaze fixed on the floor. “I just need some space, Y/n. Can’t you respect that?”
"Jude, I am! I've been giving you space for months. I'm tired, Jude, months!" Y/n snapped, as she glared at him.
"Jude, you're losing me. It feels like you've stopped trying in this relationship. I'm tired of being the only one putting in any effort here," Y/n admitted, her heart heavy. The once-quickened pulse she used to feel around Jude had now turned into a dull ache of frustration and disappointment.
"I try, Y/n. Everything I do is try," Jude whispered, tears streaking down his cheeks. He quickly wiped them away with the back of his hand.
"Yeah, well, you don't show it, Jude. You go out to meet your friends and vanish for hours without a single text. Last time, you didn't even come back home. Do you think I slept that night, Jude? I was worried sick, thinking something had happened to you," Y/n's voice cracked, she was trying to not cry she didn’t want Jude to see her cry, not for him.
“Jude I’ve been sending you signals every single day that I was falling out of love with you, and you just sent them away”
Did she really fall out of love? That was the only thing running through Jude’s mind, that was all he could think about.
“I gave you everything I could Jude, I moved to Spain with you, I left my family behind, I gave you more than I thought I could ever give someone” Jude finally found the courage to look at her in the eyes, Big mistake.
he saw his favorite honey colored eyes bloodshot, he could see the sadness in them, and that tore him apart.
“Don’t ignore me Bellingham”.
“I think it’s best if you just go back to England y/n/n”
And that’s what she did.
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laiiaaa · 7 months
Note
i would die if you wrote carmy saying i love you for the first time😭😭 and being shy and nervous because he’s never really told anyone that before and meant it like he does with you… like we see how hard it is for him to say it to his family but with you he knows it’s true but he’s so nervous to be that vulnerable with someone
It comes to him out of the blue almost. There is no grand gesture preceding it, no lovey dovey date with stars in his eyes. The thought just…appears. Not for no reason, of course—no, it all makes sense once he realizes the truth of the matter—but it still takes him by surprise, putting all the pieces together.
You’re sitting with him on his saggy thrifted couch, so worn-in and well-loved that you can feel the divots where it’s used to accommodating a guest. A half-forgotten show drones on the television, and it’s only there for background noise. His arm thrown over your shoulder rubs soothing shapes into your waist, and you’re nuzzled into his chest to feel his warmth. Like clockwork, you’ve taken his other arm into your delicate hands, working away at the sinew of his forearm and the ligaments in his hands with stubborn fingers, bringing him that sense of relief he only knows when he’s with you. You litter ghosts of kisses to his palm and to his knuckles and it has the thought surfacing:
He loves you.
He didn’t think of it before because he’s never known love to be like this: calm, nurturing, something he’s more than willing to give rather than obliged to say out loud. Before, it was a band-aid to make up for lost time, torn-away affection, too many drinks downed through bitter lips. It was there by name only and never in effect. That’s what he’s thought of it, all this time. Just a thing people say because they should.
But oh, how you’ve rewired him in his entirety.
You’re there for him when he doesn’t even realize he needs you to be; you’re convincing him to rest before he can even think to keep going beyond the point of no return; you’re turning those erratic patterns of his heart into something healthier, something akin to living instead of simply surviving. He’s remembering little things without thinking too much about it: your appointments, when your car needs an oil change, the best way (your favorite way) to arrange flowers, your favorite meals and snacks based solely on your mood, the way you fold his jeans just a little bit different than he does, how you scrunch up your nose every time you step out into chilly air.
And he’s enamored by every piece of it, every piece of you. He wants to know these things, not out of fear of making you mad, or out of self-preservation, but because his heart blossoms every time he sees that damn smile on your face. He can’t get enough of it.
So laying here, on this terribly old couch, in his terribly disorganized apartment, he knows what fills his thoughts of you is love after all.
And it terrifies him. What if he tells you the wrong way? What if you don’t feel the same? What if he tells you he loves you, and you tell him it’s not enough? What if everything burns to the ground and all he’s got with you right now is for naught? What if he’s a bad boyfriend? What if you’ve hated him all this time? What if he’s just a major fuck up? What if you’re embarrassed to be seen with him? What if, what if, what if, what if—
“Hey, Bear?” Your hand, so agonizingly gentle, curves to his frozen jaw. The noise stops.
He peeks down at you, all doe-eyed even with furrowed brows. So beautiful, he thinks, but it comes out as a bit of a grunt. “Hm?”
“You thinkin’ about somethin’ up there?” Your thumb caresses his cheek like it’s the most fragile thing you’ve ever touched—but that’d be his heart. “You’re lookin’ a little stressed.”
“Nah,” he says on instinct. “‘M okay, baby.”
And he’s sure you say something in response—something soft the way you always are, something like Are you sure? or Tell me if you change your mind or a simple Okay before you rest your head on his chest again. God, the thought makes him realize how much he really does love you, that silly little feeling he has for only you, and it’s so heavy and it’s so new and he doesn’t yet know what to do with it now that it’s filling up all the space he has in that scattered brain of his, and his mind’s going haywire, just a half-convinced loop of Let it rip, Let it rip, Let it rip, Let it rip, Let it rip, Let it—
“I love you,” he admits, on this random Tuesday night, with his busted window open because you like it a little chilly, even if it’s a pain in the ass to close back up it again. Because he loves you.
And you’re still holding his jaw, that stupid-loose piece of junk, and instead of spitting back at him something he’d imagined in the last ten minutes, your face erupts into this warm, glowing smile, this inexplicably good thing he’s sure is just a mirage.
Yet before he tries to take it back, you tell him, “I know.”
“You—” His brows twist, and he almost laughs. “You know?”
“‘F course I know.” Your head cocks to the side like it’s plain as day, a sparkle in your eye that has him wondering why he didn’t do this sooner. “Just because you don’t say it all the time doesn’t mean it’s not there.” A gentle kiss, then, to his jaw, then to the other side. “I love the way you love me, Carmen,” you whisper, hushed against his skin. “You’re my person.”
Moving just a little closer, you take his confused lips in a slow, careful kiss, long enough to feel him soften into you as his hands move along the subtle arch in your back. He doesn’t just soften, but melts, something about you that soothes the static and lets him relax.
His chest swells so full of affection that he could burst at the seams and he wouldn’t even care. He could cry like this, because it’s you, and it’s so real, and this has to be one of the few things in life he could really be proud of, that somehow in the thick of it he found you and didn’t push you away, that for once he stayed. You’re more than worth it.
You pull away slightly, leaving your nose grazing by his while both your hands hold his face, teasing at the tufts of hair behind his ears. “I love you.”
It almost knocks the wind out of him, and a smile twitches at the corners of his mouth. “I know,” he says, because he knows now for sure what it feels like.
And he could get used to this, he thinks. He loves the way you love him, too, like it’s the simplest thing to do.
831 notes · View notes
domxmarvel · 5 months
Text
Twisted wonderland-Card writing challenge
Masterlist 
Riddle
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“Don’t forget your sunscreen” Riddle quickly grabbed your arm,rubbing some in with a focused expression on his face. 
“Riddle” He looked up at you “You’re here to relax,and not worry about every little thing. Come on,lay down and I’ll bring you something to drink” He did what you asked but not without wanting to retaliate. 
“Then who’s going to make sure they-”
“Not you” You were expecting him to go back to making sure everyone was behaving the second you turned your back but surprisingly he was still in the same spot when you returned. You handed him the glas,the ice hitting the sides of glas. “Glad you didn’t run off to scold someone” He just reached out,took the glas and took a sip.
“You’re right I should try to relax”  
“Good boy” His face turned as red as his hair “Once you’re done join me in the water”
“O-Okay” 
Malleus
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“Excuse me,may I have this dance?” You turned to the sound of the voice,only to see Malleus standing there with his hand outstretched. You took his hand. 
“Of course you may” He kissed the back of your hand before pulling you close,putting his arm around your waist. Pulling you to the center of the room,everyone parted to let him through. He stopped only in the center of the room,you felt like everyone was staring at you and they probably were. “Everyone’s staring at us” You whispered,he pulled you closer.
“I can tell them to leave if you want”
“You would really do that?”
“Of course,I’d do anything for you”
“Don’t actually tell them to leave,it’s fine. I’m just not used to being stared at”
“Just focus on me,you won’t even know they’re here” He held you close as you danced around the room. Malleus was clearly enjoying this,the look on his face told you everything you needed to know. 
Lilia
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“Y/N wanna join me for band practice?”  Lilia asked,already dressed in a pop punk way you never thought you’d see.
“I didn’t even know you played an instrument” You were too stunned to even ask about the outfit too. 
“I also sing,” He added,smiling like he wanted to talk about it more. You knew that Lilia was older than he looked and probably done more in his life then you could imagine but the thought of his playing an instrument or singing never crossed your mind. 
“Why have you never told me about this,what do you sing?”
“I don’t sing a lot anymore. I used to sing lullabies for Silver and Malleus” You thought of Lilia holding Silver and singing to him,just the thought of it made your heart melt and without thinking you said. 
“I’d love to hear one,if that’s okay” 
“Sure” He sat down on your bed,patting his thighs “Come here,lay down” You laid down with your head on his thighs,just as he started singing his fingers made their way through your hair. You were barely a minute in as you couldn't keep your eyes open anymore,you quickly fell asleep. 
Azul
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“Why are you out here by yourself?” You turned to see Azul. 
“Just needed some air,not the biggest fan of parties” He sat down next to you on the railing,his hand resting on your lower back. 
“Careful,you wouldn't want to fall in”  You moved closer to him,he tightened his grip on you.
“Then you better hold me tight and make sure that doesn’t happen”
“Don’t worry,I won’t let you fall”
“This is better than the party” He laughed,kissing your forehead. 
“But it’s a bit cold. The dorm isn’t too far from here”
“Then what are you waiting for?”
Jade
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“What’s the point of that wrap your holding,shouldn’t it be on your arm or something?”
“Oh this?” He held it up “ I’ll show you,hold out your arms” You did and in a split second he had your hands tied,using the reminder or the wrap to pull you to him. Lifting your chin with his other hand. “I was hoping you’d ask” He pulled you even closer,so you were chest to chest with him. Your faces are only inches apart. 
“Jade” He only responded with a ‘hmm’ making you even more flustered,but you couldn’t move back or look away because he was holding onto you tightly. 
“Something wrong?” He teased,smirking as he moved even closer to you. Leaning in utility you could feel his lips touch yours but he didn’t kiss you,he was just hovering there for a bit before he finally kissed you. 
He pulled away, licking his lips. He was still holding you,your hands still tied up. 
“Could you untie me now?” The second you asked,his facial expression turned more mischievous and you knew you had messed up.
“I don’t think I will,I like you like this” 
Floyd
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“Why are you staring at me like that?” Floyd did usually stare but this time his gaze was filled with affection,rather than his usual curiosity. 
“I just like looking at you” He moved closer to you,his knees still up and his hand still on his cheek.
“I like looking at you too” You both laughed before you leaned in and kissed him on the cheek. Surprisingly his cheeks reddened and his eyes darted away from you. You had never seen him flustered before,and he was really cute but you had a feeling it wouldn’t last long. And you were right,the moment you turned your head you felt him kiss you back. But when you looked back he was looking away from you. 
Jack
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“Good luck” You managed to give him a kiss before he ran off,and you quickly made your way back to your group of friends to cheer him on. You kept getting looks from a couple of the other Savanaclaw students,probably due to the face that you had Jack’s jacket draped over your shoulders.  The stares were something you had to get used to pretty quickly,and you learned how to ignore them,but you could still feel them. Despite that you kept cheering for your boyfriend,and he finished first. All the Savanaclaw students cheered for him,he was smiling and laughing as he looked through the crowd stopping when your eyes met. That’s when you quickly made your way over to him and he ran up to hug you too. Picking you up and spinning you around before kissing you. 
“You did so well” 
“Well there was no way I could lose when my lucky charm is here”
Leona
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“There you are,herbivore. You’ve certainly kept me waiting,now why don’t you come here” He patted his thigh,gesturing for you to come closer. The moment you were close enough he pulled you into his lap,he smirked as he leaned in. He kissed you,his arm wrapping around to pull you closer.  
“Should we really be here?”
“In the palace?” He seemed genuinely confused 
“No,the throne. I mean it belongs to your brother,should we really be doing this here?” He seemed disappointed at the mention of his brother,like he hated hearing you even bring him up. But behind that was sadness,sadness that you assumed that was because he felt insignificant compared to his brother and that he knew this throne would never belong to him. “Leona,” He sighed,not looking at you. It hurt and you realize that you messed up.
"You're right,we should leave” 
“No”
“No what? You just-”
“We should stay”  You kissed him before he could protest “Stay here” You pushed him until his back hit the chair. 
“H-Herbivore” He could barely get any words out with you kissing him repeatedly. “Herbivore” He tried again “Herbivore” and again “Y/N” you finally stopped. “Calm down,it’s not like I’m going anywhere”
Vil
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“Vil?”
“What,don’t tell me you didn’t recognize me” He smirked,showing off one of his fangs. His hair was slicked back, his costume was still purple but darker than usual the black lipstick,making him look intimidating.  
“You look great” You attempted to deflect,but it didn’t work. 
"Apparently so good you didn’t even recognize me” You attempted to change the subject.
“So a vampire huh. Is that your way of saying you’ll always be the fairest of them all” 
“Do you suggest there’s someone else worthy of that title?”
“Not at all,my queen” He seemed satisfied with your answer “Or should it be,my vampire queen?”
“I’d rather hear something else”
“Like what?”
“Like the sound you make when I sink my fangs into you”
“Aren’t those fake?” 
“Why don’t you feel them and find out?”  
Rook
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“Hello there trickster”  The sound of Rook’s greeting made you look up,only to find him in a tree staring down at you. 
“I’m scared to ask,but why are you in a tree?”
"Because I like looking at you from up here”
“Well,I’d prefer it if you’d join me down here” He jumped down,smiling at you.
“You’re right it’s better down here” 
“I told you so,and because you’re here I can do this” He was about to ask but you interrupted him by grabbing his face and kissing him. He leaned in further,pushing you against the tree as he pushed himself closer to you. Refusing to let go of you,he pushed you further. One of his hands moving to your thighs. Finally you managed to pull away from him. “Rook,someone could see us out here”
“I know a place we could go,where we can be alone. A place where I can have you all to myself”
Idia
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“You actually came,I’m really happy that you did” 
“Of course,how could I possibly say no”
“Really easily” He mumbled,you moved closer to him.
“It wouldn't be easy for me”
“So I-I,do you wanna dance?” His face was red and the tips of his hair were turning pink. 
“I’d love to” You felt his hands shaking on your back and in your own hand,you followed him and danced for a bit. Before you moved both his hands to your waist and yours to his shoulders. The blush on his face and the tips of his hair turning red,as you leaned closer to him. “You look beautiful in that suit”
“T-Thank you” Leaning in, you kissed his cheek. He really did look beautiful,his hair lighting the room along with the candles floating around the roof. There was something so special about being here,just the two of you. There was nothing more you wanted more right now than to kiss him,but you didn’t want to scare him off. Just leaning closer made him flustered,you couldn’t even imagine his reaction if you kissed him. “Y/N” His voice made you snap out of your thoughts.
“Yes?”
“Could I kiss you?” Was he thinking the same thing you did?
“Of course,you can.” You stopped dancing and closed your eyes and waited. His lips were cold but you quickly got used to them,despite the cold they were soft against yours. He pulled away and you opened your eyes,his entire face was red now. “Do you wanna do that again?” He nodded. “of course I want to,as many times as you’d like” 
545 notes · View notes
poeticlilies · 1 year
Note
Dazai with a reader who’s really motherly with him? I feel like he secretly craves to be coddled but he plays it off with jokes for a while until a certain point where he just breaks :(
also I’m sorry if my request got sent more than once, tumblr is being silly ‼️
♡ My baby, my baby...
Dazai Osamu x Reader
Desc: Comforting Dazai. (fem reader)
TW/CW: mental breakdowns, joking about mental health, dark thoughts, suicide, self-harm, mentions of religion (usage of word "God"), usage of "Y/N", angst -> hurt/comfort
It hurt.
It hurt so, so much Dazai Osamu thought that God had finally pitied him and was letting him die.
He couldn't breathe; his lungs felt like they were collapsing in on themselves, and he sobbed, trying to let oxygen back into his lungs as they burned.
"Just get home," his mind repeated. "Just get home and you can see Y/N again."
A foreign corner of his heart quieted it's pounding; slowing down to consider the thought of keeping quiet long enough to see you. It agreed, happy at the thought of you; and after five minutes Dazai got up and walked out of the closet he had locked himself inside.
Kunikida stared at him, stopping mid-rant as concern flashed over his coworker's face; but before the blond could say anything, Dazai was out the door and on his way to see you again. The annoying ringing of his cellphone wasn't present; which means that Kunikida probably laid off of him and let him go home early.
He doesn't even remember going home, doesn't remember the sidewalk, the train ride, or the winding little path leading to the quaint little neighborhood; doesn't remember unlocking the front door and taking his shoes off, heart beginning to race again as it protests for the mind to uphold it's part of the deal.
"Y/N?.." he calls weakly; stumbling around your shared home. "Y/N!"
His mind begins to race, panicking; what if you had gotten kidnapped? or hurt? what if the Port Mafia took you? what if-- but his thoughts were cut off when the angel that is you, in your everlasting glory, appeared; dressed in shorts and a sweater, surprised (and a little concerned) to why he was home so early and stumbling around your shared house like a drunkard.
He barely hears the worried gasp of his name; barely processes anything before he's lunging for you, arms flying around your torso and coiling around it, tears coming to his eyes as he sobs in relief, crying and blubbering as he's finally back in your loving arms.
He feels the hand you have on his head caressing his hair gently as if he were a glass ornament that would break apart at the slightest touch, and he cries harder; burying his face into your stomach as he sinks down closer to the floor. He feels you crouching down with him; cradling his head against your chest as you murmur warm words that slither inside through his ears to his heart, comforting it as you hold him in your embrace.
You had never seen him like this; had always known the strong, brave Dazai Osamu; had always seen the confident, cocky, brave persona he put on. Whenever you tried to coddle him, he had brushed it off; but you never missed the slight twitch of his eyes, the lingering look in them as he turned away, the way his hand rested on top of yours for a second too long before he pulled away.
That's why you kept going; kept pushing at his walls, begging and pleading for him to let them down; that you weren't going to hurt him like everybody else, weren't going to be let in only to stab at everything in a frenzy like everyone else. No, you wanted to love him; to cherish him and to make him feel loved as you protected him from the world and it's miseries the way he did to countless other individuals.
And it worked; hence the events of today, as Dazai clings to your sweater and sobs.
"Shhh... Shhh.. baby, what's wrong?.." you murmur, finally; petting his hair as he begins to quiet down, obediently following your words.
"M-Missed you." he states, quietly, simply. "Missed y-you so much; c-couldn't think. Could-dn't do a-anything. Missed you so bad..." he whispers, tearing up again.
"Shh.." you whisper again; lifting his face up and kissing his cheeks. "Cmon, baby; you can tell me what's wrong. It's alright, darling."
And Dazai Osamu only falls deeper in love with you.
--
YAHOO!! sorry if u wanted smt else this was the way i interpreted it :(
1K notes · View notes
darkbluekies · 1 year
Note
What if reader did somehow manage to escape Silas for at least more then a year?
White bunny
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Mafia!yandere OC x reader
Summary: a year has passed since you escaped Silas. When he finally finds you, you're a shell of what you once were and he desperately tries piecing you back together.
Warnings: angst, kidnapping, panic attacks, a bit of age regressing? (I don't know), broken reader, knife
Word count: 1.6k
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He’s found you. He’s finally found you. For a year you’ve managed to keep yourself out of his reach … but not anymore. You’re going to come back home now. He can’t stand to be away from you even a second more. 
“Pick the lock”, Silas tells one of his men. “Quietly. If we wake up the other residents in this building they’ll call the cops.”
The man in front of him nods and sinks down on his knees by the front door with his hands full of supplies. Silas watches as he picks the lock with a satisfying feeling in his body. He’ll be able to hold you soon. A year has been too much for him. He usually can’t stay away from you for three hours … let alone a year. The second he sees you, he’ll capture you in his strong arms and never let you go again. His heart hammers in his chest at the thought that there’s only a locked door in between you. Soon. 
“It’s open”, the man says. 
Silas smiles and opens the door. The apartment is dimly lit, an indication that you must be asleep. His heart swells. Oh, how pretty you must be. 
Sadly, one of his men knocks over a vase with his machete. Silas can hear it crash against the floor, but has no time to stop it. Mortified, he looks around, expecting you to stand in any of the door frames. He’s quiet as a dead mouse, listening. He can hear moving in the room to his left and grabs the handle. Locked? He tries again, harsher this time.
“I know it’s you”, he can hear your voice whisper from the other side of the door. “Leave, Silas.”
“L-Leave?” he repeats. “Are you nuts? I’ve been looking for you for a whole fucking year, baby! I’m not going anywhere. And if I am, you’re coming with me. Don’t make me break down this door.”
He feels like a feral animal. Every inch of his body needs to feel you and he’ll go crazy soon if he doesn’t get to have you.
“I’m not going anywhere”, you spit.
Silas turns to his men and gestures for them to pick the lock. Only a few minutes later, Silas opens the door. You’re crouched down in the darkest corner of the bedroom with a knife held out in front of you. Silas breaks out into a relieved smile. It’s really you. His dear, little Y/N. 
“Why don’t you put down the knife before you hurt yourself and come over here and give me a big hug, hm?” he asks and opens his arms. 
“I’d rather plunge the knife through my heart”, you growl back. 
Taken aback is an understatement. Silas frowns in shock. 
“Why?” he wonders. 
“I don’t want your filthy hands on me!”
“Well, that’s not up to you to choose-”
“No, I’m serious, don’t touch me!”
He freezes at your tone. You sound absolutely horrified at the thought of him touching you? Everything about your body language is in defense. You seem ready to attack him if he moves just the slightest bit closer. You’ve never been like this before. WHat has happened to you?
“Y/N, put down the knife”, he says again, calmer this time, testing the waters. “I’m just going to talk to you. Okay?”
You shake your head quickly, lifting the knife with shaking hands. 
“Take it”, he orders one of his men. 
The designated man moves closer and you swing the knife wherever you can reach, cutting him here and there, but he is like a machine — not moving an inch. He grabs the knife out of your hands and backs away. You’re defenseless now, just like Silas wants you to be. He walks over to you and sinks down in a squat to take in the sight of you. Your entire body is shaking violently, wide eyes following his slightest motions. Silas reaches out his hand to stroke your head and calm you down, but you scream in terror and cover your face with your arms. 
“Baby, I wasn’t going to hurt you”, he says, growing worried. “What’s wrong, little thing?”
he can hear you whisper something and leans closer to hear. A mantra of ‘don’t touch me, don’t touch me’ leaves your trembling lips. He can feel his heart sink to his stomach. Did he do this to you? He can’t have … can he?
“Give me the rope”, he says over his shoulder. “If I can’t touch them, I have to make a leash or something.”
Your cries escalate. Silas turns to look at you with even more despair.
“P-Please”, you beg incoherently. “A-Anything but that. Please!”
Silas gulps. This is his doing, a hundred percent. The touching can be coincidental, but he’s the only one who’s kept you tied. Things start to click together. Oh, what an idiot he is. 
“Little thing, look at me”, he says. “I’m not going to touch you and I’m not going to tie you, but I’m not leaving this apartment without you. You got that?”
You nod quickly. He wants nothing more than to wipe your tears and hold you tightly in his arms, but he won’t be able to hear more of your cries. He starts to think of a way to get you out of here without frightening you even more, but his worries are quickly resolved. The lack of air you got when hyperventilating has made you black out.
“I’ll take them”, Silas says and lifts you up in his arms. “Don’t worry, little thing, when we get home, you’ll go back to normal.”
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Oh, how wrong Silas was. You’re quiet and reserved and refuse to be touched. All you do is sit in bed while hugging your legs to your body and keep your eyes down on the mattress. He has to come up with a solution to make you relax. You haven’t slept or eaten in days now. He leaves to go to the store in hope to find something to get you loosened up. While looking through aisles of scented candles and body lotion, he sees the children’s department. With one last resort, he walks over to the stuffed animals. 
“Are you sure Y/N would like a stuffed animal?” his second in command asks hesitantly. 
“What other fucking choice do I have?” he groans. “If they refuse to hug me, I guess I have to find a substitute. I can’t fucking listen to their crying anymore. They barely want to be in the same bed as me. This has to stop before I go insane.”
“Which one should you pick?”
“I think the white bunny will be the best alternative.”
He picks out the fluffy animal and heads straight for the cashier. The woman seems to recognize him, but doesn’t say anything. Silas is grateful for it. He’s in no headspace to be dealing with people today. All he wants is to see his little angel happy. 
When he comes home, he notices that his bedroom door is open. 
“Shit!” he gasps and looks around, seeing his second in command. “Get the car, they escaped again!”
He’s just about to pass the guest room when he notices that the door is ajar. Carefully, he peaks in, finding you lying on the bed in a fetal position. Silas sticks out his head in the corridor and alerts the second in command that you’re found before sneaking into the guest room. 
“Hey, baby”, he whispers gently. “I got you something.”
You don’t move. 
“Here”, he says, placing the white bunny on the bedside table. 
Silas holds his breath, waiting for your reaction. He silently begs for you to like it. Carefully, you sit up and pet the soft toy. Silas notices how your eyes aren’t … dull anymore. You seem to recognize the toy somehow. 
“D-Do you like it?” Silas asks nervously. 
“Bunny …”, you whisper. 
“Yes! Yes, it’s a bunny. I got it for you. Do you like it?”
You nod slowly and take it in your hands. For a few seconds you feel around before hugging it close to your chest. Silas breathes out in relief. 
“Why are you here?” he asks. “I thought you ran away again …”
“I didn’t want to be in there”, you mumble. “Want to be away from you.”
“But … you’re mine. We’re meant to be together. I haven’t touched or tied you a single time since we came home. Why can’t you at least acknowledge my presence?”
“Scary …”
“I’m not meaning to- … wait, why do you talk like that?”
You look at him questionably. 
“You talk … almost baby like”, he says slowly. “What’s going on?”
You hug the bunny closer. 
“Oh … I get it”, he says, nodding. “Would you like to watch ‘Scooby Doo’ with me? In the living room? We can get you some vanilla ice cream and those cookies you mentioned that you liked when you were a kid.”
You nod. Silas breaks out into a smile and nods along. 
“Alright”, he says. “Let’s go downstairs.”
You voluntarily follow him down to the living room, hugging the toy closely. He can’t seem to figure out why you suddenly started to act younger than you actually are, but he's not going to question it. You’re not crying, you’re not telling him to go away. That’s good enough. He creates a fort of pillows and blankets on the floor for the two of you to sit on, almost making a pillow fort. If you need childhood stuff, he’ll give them to you. 
Silas gives you glances throughout the movie. He knows he has gotten a second chance. You’re broken and it’s all because of him. He breathes in. This time, he’ll be careful. He’ll never hurt you again.
2K notes · View notes
bedsyandco · 2 months
Note
i see luke being to worried to be angry at the moment but once everything is calmed down i see them having a prettt deep conversation why vi felt like she couldn’t tell him and luke being understandable angry she didn’t tell him
Luke spent an hour or two in the waiting room with her family, waiting for visiting hours to start.
And by the time he could finally see her, his worry and anger had only doubled.
“Luke? What are you doing here?” Violet asks surprised to see him but the little glint in her eyes conveying how happy she is to see him.
“What am I doing here? Really?” Luke asks walking closer to her and taking a seat on the bed, cupping her face between his hands and scanning her face.
“I’m okay, I promise,” Violet says and Luke sighs, kissing her. once. twice. three times before pulling away and resting his forehead on hers.
“I am so angry at you right now,” Luke says, keeping his hands gentle on her skin but Violet could feel the anger through his eyes. She’s never seen Luke this angry at her before.
“Luke-“
“How could you not call me? How could you not have someone call me the second you got here and were checked out?” Luke asks
“I was fine. I am fine. You were in the middle of a roadie-“
“Who gives a fuck?” he says, dropping his hands to her lap and pulling his head away slightly raising his voice and he takes a deep breath when he realizes he just cursed at her.
“I don’t care if I was in the middle of playing a stanley cup deciding game. If under any circumstances something happens to you and you have the opportunity to call me, or have someone else call me, you do it. You always do it. For God’s sake Violet, put me on your emergency contact list,” Luke says, his chest rising and falling rapidly when he’s done.
“I’m okay and I’m sorry Luke,” Violet says, lifting his hand to her lips and kissing his palm
“I’m still angry,”
“I know and you have every right to be,”
“Damn right. Because we both know if the roles were reversed…if even the smallest thing happened to me that risked my health or safety, and I didn’t call you or have someone tell you, you would be going out of your mind right now. The fact that your brother called me, thinking I already knew, a day after it happened…” Luke cuts off his sentence with a shake of his head.
“I didn’t want to worry you unnecessarily-“
“I always worry. I love you which means I spend every free minute I have wondering and worrying about where you are and what you’re doing and if you’re okay. Especially because I’m far away from you. It’s my job to worry about you. It’s my job to take care of you. It’s my job to be there for you when you go through a traumatic experience, which this was. Don’t try to play it off as an inconvenience or some minor hiccup in the road. Two men broke into your apartment in the middle of the night and robbed you. God knows what else they would’ve done if the alarm didn’t go off. What would I do if-“ Luke cuts himself off, not even capable of having those thoughts never mind voicing them out loud.
“I’m okay. I just have a little concussion. I’m sorry I didn’t call you. You’re right, it was wrong of me not to. I would’ve wanted to know if it was you. I don’t know what I was thinking. You were in a middle of a road trip and you were just coming off a stretch of good games I didn’t want to…mess that up by making you fly all the way out here because I knew you would,” Violet says and Luke shakes his head. This girl. His girl.
“Promise me you’ll call me. Whenever something happens no matter how insignificant you think it is. You’ll call me,” Luke says cupping her face again and she nods
“I’ll call you. I promise. I’m sorry,” Violet says again and Luke kisses softly
“Stop apologizing baby. Are you sure you’re okay? Have you reported this yet?” Luke asks and she nods
“Yeah, I filed a police report last night. I’m okay. I thought would be more…I don’t know shaken up. I’m just sad really…they took my necklace,” she says her hand subconsciously going to her chest where the little “L” usually rests. And she tears up again.
“I’m sorry, I know it’s stupid to cry over it when I’m lucky that nothing worse happened to me but-“
“It’s not stupid. I understand,” Luke says, knowing how much that necklace means to her. It had the same emotional value to her as his bracelet did. And although Luke wasn’t wearing his bracelet anymore because it’s so worn down, it’s practically falling apart, it is safely stored and tied to his backpack. The same backpack resting against the wall of this hospital room.
Especially with the long distance, it felt like he always had a piece of Vi with him, and he knows she felt the same about that necklace. Especially the significance of when he gave it to her. Graduation night. What happened that night was really the start of Luke realizing how in love he was with his best friend.
“It’s okay. I’ll buy you a new one,” Luke says gently wiping her tears away and kissing her red nose.
He pulls her close when she sniffles, holding her tight.
“hold onto this for me until your new one gets here,” Luke says, removing the chain from his neck and putting it over her head and around hers.
“Luke?” she mumbles, looking up at him with her chin propped on his chest
“Violet?” he retorts teasingly like he always does when she does that
“Thanks for being here. I didn’t realize how much I needed you until you were here,” she says and he presses another kiss to her head
“Of course. There’s literally no where else I would rather be than right next to you. Especially when you need it. I think you should come to Jersey with me for a few days. A few weeks maybe,” Luke says, knowing he won’t be able to let her out of his sight for a while.
“I’m not opposed to that,” Violet says and Luke absentmindedly starts playing with her hair
“I love you. I should’ve said that the second I walked through the door,” Luke says and she smiles up at him, resting her chin on his chest
“I love you Lu,” she says, and Luke gets this warm feeling in his chest kissing her again and not letting her pull away this time
“Ew. I didn’t call you to make out with my sister in front of me. At least I’m assured now she’s perfectly fine,” Daxton says when he enters the room a few minutes later
“Even if I wasn’t perfectly fine, I’d still make out with my super hot, sexy boyfriend. What do you know I feel better already,” Violet teases, sticking her tongue out at her brother and Luke chuckles
“Thanks for calling him,” Violet says and Daxton nods
“I shouldn’t have had to,” Dax says and Violet sighs. Luke had handled the fact that Violet didn’t call him way better than Daxton would have.
“I know. I already got the speech, apologized and promised not to do it again. I don’t need to hear it from my little brother too,” Violet says emphasizing the little, even though her brother isn’t that little anymore.
“Mom and Dad went to get breakfast, so maybe you two will stop trying to eat each other’s tongues,” Daxton says and Violet pulls a face at his wording
“As if I didn’t catch you with your tongue down a pretty little blonde’s throat when I was home last month,” Violet says and Luke dramatically gasps
“You’re into blondes now?” Luke teases
“Not blondes, just a blonde. Not even sure that’s her natural colour. She dyes it practically every other week,” Daxton says, not meeting either of their gazes
“I’ll have to meet her, if she’s got you interested. You should bring her to the lake house this summer,” Luke says and Daxton’s brows furrow
“Not gonna happen. She’s leaving Michigan after graduation. Got a whole lotta big plans that don’t include me,” Daxton mumbles, deciding the conversation was over, and turns the stupid little hospital TV on while Luke goes back to fawning over Violet.
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starshideurfics · 25 days
Text
Chocolate Eggs
steddie, omegaverse, mpreg, sweet and spicy 🔞
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“Hey, baby!” Eddie calls softly as he enters his and Steve’s apartment. “How are you feeling?”
“Did you bring my cheese fries?” Steve yells from the living room.
“Of course I did.” Eddie lifts one of the plastic bags in his hand with a grin. Eddie places the bag in the coffee table in front of Steve. “Seriously, Steve, how are you feeling?” he asks again as he goes to the kitchen to get Steve a coke and his prenatal vitamins.
Steve has already pulled out the cardboard clamshell box with his fries as he answers,
“I’m feeling great. It’s been two weeks, I think I’m officially out of the morning sickness stage.” He swallows his vitamins dry, smiling up at Eddie as he pops the tab on his soda.
Eddie tucks a leg under himself as he sits next to his mate on the couch. 
“I’m glad, you know I can’t stand it when you’re stuck feeling like shit every day.” He leans in and kisses Steve’s lips, licking away a bit of stray cheese sauce.
“I know. And I’ll do whatever it takes to get our nugget here,” Steve says, guiding Eddie’s hand to rest on his bump. He kisses Eddie again, then leans back and digs into his cheese fries. 
Eddie keeps his hand in place, knows he won’t be able to feel the baby move for weeks still. Steve is just into the second trimester, he should move his hand, eat his own dinner.
But he doesn’t.
Eddie can’t bear the thought of not touching Steve if there’s any chance he can. Needs to be close to his mate and pup. Needs to know they’re safe.
Steve gives him a knowing look and swings his feet into Eddie’s lap. “You gotta touch, put those hands to work.”
“Yes, dear.”
He’s thorough as he gives Steve what has already become a nightly foot massage. “Your food’s gotta be cold by now,” Steve says by way of thanks, and Eddie shrugs as he pulls out his lukewarm burger and tucks in.
When he finishes, he glances at Steve. “Want anything else?”
“Could you get me a couple Reese’s eggs from the freezer?”
They’ve been Steve’s primary craving for weeks, everything else usually a one time need, but these… Eddie picked up as many bags as he could justify at full price. He’s got more waiting in the trunk now.
Clearance chocolate is gonna save his wallet and Steve’s sanity.
“I actually got you something special,” Eddie says, lifting the other bag from the floor and handing it to Steve.
“Oh my god.” Steve’s eyes bug out as he pulls out the gigantic Reese’s egg.
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“For when you’ve got a really bad craving.” Eddie’s about to offer to go put it away and fetch Steve some smaller candy when Steve pounces, straddling his lap and practically biting as he kisses his mouth.
“Glad you like-” Eddie starts when Steve finally lets him up for air.
“Take off your pants.”
“What?”
“Get your dick out, because I need it,” Steve whines, and Eddie can smell the slick on him. The desire. His citrus scent has gone so sweet he smells like a handful of orange jelly beans.
Of course Eddie rushes to comply with his omega’s wishes.
They fuck on the couch, Steve coming as Eddie sucks on his mating mark, the gland beneath swollen and red, so sensitive, but safer than Steve’s nipple right now during sex.
Steve practically collapses against Eddie’s chest once they’re tied by the alpha’s knot.
“So good,” he purrs. “So good to me.”
Eddie’s hips jerk, his dick twitching through an aftershock. “Always, baby. I love you so much.”
“Love you, too.”
Steve rests his head on Eddie’s shoulder, stares at the coffee table where he set the giant egg.
He sighs.
“You wish I had gotten your freezer candy before you jumped me, don’t you,” Eddie murmurs as he rubs Steve’s back.
“Yeah.”
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vampiretendencies · 1 year
Text
request; reader and jj seeing each other after a while apart? like reader was on a vacation or something? thank you
warnings; fluff, the end may be suggestive if you take it that way
pairing; jj x fem!reader
authors note; i didn’t know if this was for a blurb or an imagine but i assume it’s for a blurb. but yes again, i am having a bit of writers block, almost through it. so i’m writing from the list of prompts below for blurbs or you can send in your own idea for one. as well as imagines and etc.
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JJ has resorted to spraying your perfume on his pillow.
He’s fucking miserable, to say the least.
The flowery scented spray; something you’d accidentally left at the chateau— from sleeping in with JJ and snotty goodbyes upon leaving for vacation.
He begged and pleaded, even tried to convince your parents to let you stay.
It was always ‘no, this has already been planned.’
Now this wasn’t some all expense paid trip, as if you were a Kook or something. Your parents had been saving up to go on a get away for months now— you were a pogue to your core, well that’s where you thought you fit anway.
Though he knows your arrival is minutes away, he’s still snuggled with the pillow; holding onto it for dear life. Sniffing it every now and then so he could be pulled back into sweet melodic memories of what was.
He didn’t have your touch for nearly two weeks, which he constantly craved and hungered for— no delicate, slow and ravenous kisses. No more ‘this is my excuse to touch your ass’ hugs. No more sleeping directly on top of you.
Not a thing.
JJ is completely irritable, annoyed, and touch-starved. So out of his element that whilst the rest of the Pogues went fishing he stayed, and waited.
Because he’d wait for you in the burning sun and the pouring rain, no matter the circumstance he’s there.
He’s convinced he’s not even breathing normally and that he’s having heart palpitations.
He’s not sure how he even made it this far.
But today’s the day.
Today’s the fucking day he gets to touch all over you like a wild animal, and he can’t wait a minute fucking longer.
Prior to this final moments alone he’d been in the mirror combing through his hair. A single piece of his blonde tresses stood taller than the rest, nitpicking really— because he normally wouldn’t care about such a thing.
But he feels like a small child awaiting for a piece of their favorite candy.
Or someone that just won the lottery.
He’s not nervous, no, merely yearning for you and wanting everything to be in its right place.
At the right time.
He’d also checked his breath multiple times, awaiting the most silky, sensual kiss he could fathom.
JJ is jumping up from the couch at the impounding sound of your knock. And it’s music to his ears.
The door nearly flung off of its hinges, and he’s drowning in joy to see your short frame on the other end. Breeze fanning your hair effervescently; both sharing a grin so huge that cheek bones reached the corners of their eyes.
JJ's picking you up like clockwork, so effortlessly and sustaining. Walking backward on his heel clad combat boots, he spins you around; sulking in the fact that the person his insides ravaged for was in his arms.
"Well, put me down J. Want my welcome home kiss!"
He never lets you go though, sat cutely on his hip; whilst he removed his head from the crook of your neck his lips trailed and lingered themselves from there, all the way to your mouth. Groaning all at once and you tried to keep up with his feral pace. Lips almost swallowing yours whole, he tasted you. He memorized every groove of your tongue; you couldn't even remember his tongue going into your mouth with his impatientness.
You didn't necessarily care though, awaiting this moment youself.
So wrapped up in each other, like a dopamine high that neither of you could come down from.
Millions of fibers of love erupting in the two of you.
Ethereal.
"Being feisty now, aren't we?"
You were sarcastic and JJ knew it. His forehead glued against yours, searching your soul with his eyes; reading you. Lips sore from a mix of the attack he'd made and not having used them soon enough.
If he could pay someone to take a picture of this moment, he'd give them every last penny to his name.
"Just really fucking missed you, baby."
"Hm ... how much?"
You challenged, and JJ smirked knowing that he's really rubbed his own banter off on you.
"How about I show you just how much I missed you."
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highdramas · 1 year
Text
a house in nebraska | j.m.
pairing: joel miller x f!reader
warnings: language, canon typical sadness, canon typical violence, age gap but it’s not really mentioned, sweet sweet yearning, sexual situations but not explicit (yet hehe)
word count: 4704
summary: by joel’s side, you make your way to the midwest, and find yourself inching closer to a house in nebraska you once called home. you and joel have always been okay keeping your pasts to yourselves, focusing on the now. but a roadtrip stirs up feelings, ones that even you cannot deny any longer.
notes: if you are under 18 do not interact with my work or this fic. this is part of the creature comforts series but can be read on its own! house in nebraska in particular is a two part story. this is set 12 years after the outbreak began. joel is 48 and reader is 31.
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you still thought about that house.
in most ways, it was rather unassuming. it wasn’t rundown, nor was it like the house that nancy mcnamara had on the other side of town. you remember that first time you had gone to nancy’s house for a birthday party. it was strange to imagine that people lived that way.
no, your house was simple, if not slightly dated. your parents never got around to modernizing it, and you didn’t want them to. it was beautiful in it’s dated nature. it was your home. more than a house. it was a home.
it’s days like today when you think about that house. sometimes you wonder if it’s still standing. oh, what you wouldn’t give to walk up those steps, to run your hand along the railing of the porch. it was a luxury to have these fantasies. that you knew more than anything.
you run your plate over the lukewarm water and you feel joel’s eyes on your back. sometimes, you wonder if he can read your mind. you wonder if maybe he’s harboring this secret power from you that allows him to know your deepest secrets, the history that you hold near and dear to your heart. you don’t know why it is. why it is you don’t tell him. it would be easy to lay all of it down at his feet, to come apart and know that he wasn’t going to judge you or hurt you for it. feelings are a weakness. longing is a weakness. but joel was never going to stab that soft underbelly. you were confident in that.
but you keep it bottled up anyway. you keep him placated with your smiles and the murmurs that everything’s okay, just tired and you know that he sees right through you but you both know that he’s not going to push it. that’s one thing, of many, that you love about joel. he doesn’t push. and in return, neither do you. not hard, anyway.
you dry your hands off and you settle on the couch beside him. you can tell that there’s something on his mind– his eyes don’t give anything away, and maybe he thinks that you’re the mind reader out of the two of them. “talk to me,” you say with that smile of yours that you pull out of the closet only for him, wear it like it’s your finest gown.
he sighs and leans forward, muscled arms against strong knees. he doesn’t meet your gaze. you wish that he would. “i don’t want to tell you because i know exactly what you’re going to say.”
“well, then at least you won’t be hit with any surprises.”
joel looks at you and you already have a wry smile on your face, and he has to fight the urge to match it. “you’re such a shit, you know that?” his humor dies off and he goes back to examining his hands. “gotta head out west.”
you straighten at that. “oh.” confusion riddles you– what is he not saying? “well, where?”
the looks says everything and you’re opening your mouth but he cuts you off before you can get a word out. “no. no. you’re not comin’.”
“if you’re going to nebraska,” you say, your voice perfectly level. “you’re going to have to chain me to the bed in order to get me to stay put.” you rise from your spot and walk towards your bedroom, rustling around to find your backpack. you don’t even know when he’s leaving and you’re preparing yourself.
he knows next to nothing about where you come from. what your story is. it’s not all that special, all things considered– for someone to be alive means that they have had to endure unthinkable hardship to get to that point. but he knows two things: you’re from nebraska, and you never knew what happened to your family.
“joel,” you say, folding a t shirt and laying it flat in your bag. “i’m coming.” when you look at him, there’s something in your eyes that he doesn’t recognize. a whole different you. “you don’t know the things i did to get to boston. so don’t fight me on this. i won’t be a nuisance.”
“i didn’t think you would be,” he steps closer. “i just don’t want you getting your hopes up. that’s all.”
you swallow and you look at him. there’s no fight on his face– you think he probably gave up this fight the second he decided he was going to tell you. after all, he could’ve up and left with a note and nothing more. hell, he didn’t even owe you a note. you weren’t anything. you were friends. you shared something. but beyond that, there was no reason for him to tell you shit. “joel,” you whisper and you step closer to him and you watch the way his throat bobs, the way his lip twitches. “you of all people know that my hope’s gonna have to be pried from my cold, dead hands.”
“i know,” he says quietly. you turn back to your backpack and then he’s behind you and his hands are on your shoulders. things have never been said so explicitly– what you are and what you aren’t, where the lines are drawn. all you know is sometimes he does this; he touches you and it lights you up with a warmth from the inside out. sometimes, you lie in bed beside one another and your foot draws up his calf and his hand smoothes over your waist and tugs you closer to him. sometimes he gives you his ration cards despite your protests. you will wake and he’s long gone but they rest on the dining table. the dining table where his belongings, meager as they are, mingle with yours.
joel cares. joel cares and he knows you more than anyone else could ever fathom it.
you show your care in different ways. once, on an abandoned vehicle in the qz, you found a texas sticker. you had taken dutiful care in the way you peeled it off. you found an old book and ripped a page from the back and laid the sticker down onto it. when you presented it to joel on september 26th, you could see the emotions pass over his face. sorrow and longing and then something else. a sidelong look at you, one that was mostly curious.
“it’s okay to miss it,” you had said then. “that life.”
you’d seen his reactions when others had made mere references of his life before. they were shut down. they were stopped, right then and there. and while you didn’t like to poke the bear… you wanted him to know. wanted to bestow this one thing. there was nothing else to say in that moment, all there was was you and joel and his arm slowly wrapping around your shoulders and tugging you in closer. there was his lips against your temple and your fist gripping his flannel shirt. and that was all you needed.
but in this moment with him just behind you, hands beginning to rub into your shoulders, you feel it. that deep chasm of need deep within you, the one that you’ve been ignoring. your hand goes and covers his and you wrap his arm around your chest, kissing the skin of his forearm. strong, steady joel. protective joel. while you’ve laid awake and wondered what it is he felt for you, you never had to question if he would protect you. if he would save you when it all boiled down to it. you squeeze his arm and he squeezes you back, a heavy, reassuring weight. “just let me have some hope, joel.”
and he would.
you stop at bill and frank’s to do some trading. you’d heard the stories of their compound, but had never experienced it yourself, and there was a twinge in your heart. what was stopping you? what stopped you from moving in next door, earning your keep, being of service in some way? what stopped you and joel from settling? sitting around the table, music playing and eating a meal that was more than jerky and dried fruits, it was hard to remember your reasoning. why you two played by the rulebook that you did.
you’re admiring the house when frank found you. he gives you a smile and gets in the wine cabinet, pulling another fresh bottle. “astounding, isn’t it?”
turning to him, you remember that he was so warm. warm in a different way than joel. not better or worse. just different. “it’s amazing,” you admit. “almost hard to believe that there was a time where we all lived like this. took it for granted.”
he steps into the spot beside you, following your gaze. “i’m lucky. bill and i– we’re lucky.” he looks at you for a long time. you could feel the imprint of his gaze on your cheek. “how long have you been with joel?”
smiling to yourself, you say, “three years.” you pause, examining a painting on the wall. “feels like it’s been forever. he’s aging me. stealing my youth.” it’s a joke, and you give a crooked grin. “no, he’s… he’s made everything easier. much easier.”
frank hums at that. “i don’t want to pry,” he begins slowly, giving you a sidelong look. “but are you…”
feeling your cheeks grow warm, all you can do is shrug. “i’m not sure,” you admit. “but i don’t need to be sure. he’s my best friend.”
he nods his head, as if this answer makes more sense than anything else that you could’ve said. “well, for what it’s worth–” you both look out the window of the house where joel and bill stand, practically mirroring one another. hands on their hips. staring out at the fence. “bill’s my best friend, too.”
frank touches your shoulder and you smile at him. for some reason, his words are reassuring.
you end up staying the night. there’s a guest bedroom with an adjoining bathroom and frank says you’re welcome to anything you need while bill scowls. you shower before joel does– and, to be honest, he doesn’t give you an option in that regard. he puts his hands on your shoulders and he walks you into the bathroom, pushing the fluffy towel into your chest with a smile. “you stink,” he says and he does something that’s almost a wink that makes your heart sing.
so you do. you shower and you lather yourself in all of the fine soaps that frank had prepared for you. you think that joel must’ve told him about your dry skin– lotions of every scent line the counters, and you lather yourself in them post-shower. when you come out smelling like lavender and vanilla, joel’s head shoots up from his book. he stares at you for a long, long time. you shiver under his gaze, shifting in the clothes that frank had given you.
for a moment, you feel like you’re playing house.
joel clears his throat and he stands up, approaching you. his big hand goes to the side of your face and his thumb runs over your cheekbone, drags down to your lip. when you shiver this time, it’s much more noticeable, and you can see something flash behind joel’s eyes.
there are things that the two of you have done together. but never this. close– but never this. you’ve dreamed about what it might be like for his lips to brush yours, but you’ve never had the luxury to linger on it too long. you were both fighting, tooth and nail, for your own survival. the survival of each other, for tess, for tommy. a makeshift family if you’ve ever heard of one. but in this house, where the walls have art and the linens are clean, and you feel fresher and more clear headed than you ever have…
“go. shower.” you squeeze his wrist. “you stink.”
he scoffs out a laugh and shakes his head at you. but when he casts his gaze upon you again, when he nods his head and moves into the bathroom, you feel anticipation like you’ve never felt before.
joel takes less time in the shower than you did. but when he emerges, all wet hair and glistening skin, you have to physically stop yourself from standing. he doesn’t wear a shirt but sweatpants hang low on his hips, and every thought has to be written all over your face. he walks up to you slowly and your grip the duvet, but when he stands before you and nudges your legs apart to stand between them, your grip slackens, he takes your hands and he puts them up on his shoulders where you glide them across his tanned skin, lace them behind his neck.
“i’m going to say this once, because i don’t want to waste our time with it,” joel begins. “and i know– i know i’m not good with my words. i don’t know if i ever will be. and i know i’ve got walls up, i know i’m fucked up–” you open your mouth but he shakes his head. “let me finish. i know i’m fucked up. and i don’t know if i can give you everything that the man twelve years ago would’ve. but i am a selfish man, and i want what i can give to be enough. and i want to try and give you more.” he brushes a piece of your hair back. “if that’s what you want.”
“you’re more than i could ask for,” you reassure. your hands go to his face and your thumbs stroke against his cheeks. “so let’s stop wasting our time with talking about what we both know.”
joel pushes you down against the mattress and you pull yourself up the bed, towards the pillows, and he hovers above you. “can’t remember the last time i was in a bed this nice,” he murmurs, and he’s so handsome above you, you don’t know how you managed without it. you’ve slept side by side, limbs tangled, but this…
“me neither,” your needy hands reach out for him and then his brown eyes are level with yours, a hand splayed beside your head, holding himself up. “i don’t want to waste it. do you?”
the smile he wears would’ve belonged to the joel from before. mischievous, almost, a smile that reaches his eyes. “what ideas did you have?”
you open your mouth but then his lips are closing over your pulse point and it’s been so long, it’s been forever, it’s been a lifetime ago since you’ve had such true and real intimacy. you start to shake and you stammer to try and reply and he pulls away, shaking his head, running his hand through your hair. “i’m gonna take care of you,” he says seriously. “you gonna let me take care of you, nebraska?”
with a shaky laugh you nod your head, but that’s not enough for him. “words. give me your words.”
“yes,” you breathe. “please.”
and joel, your unsung hero, stays good to his word. he’s a passionate person, deep in there, so it shouldn’t have surprised you that he would be a good and passionate lover– but it did. it made you giddy, every touch, every drag of his tongue. but nothing was better than the first kiss.
joel makes sure to take care in tipping your face up to him. there were candlesticks lit around the quaint bedroom, illuminating you in a golden glow, and you’d never felt like an angel before– not even before this world had made you a killer. but under his eyes and in this room, you feel the closest you ever have. “so damn pretty,” he murmurs to himself, shaking his head. “you know that? how pretty you are?”
your foot runs up his leg. “don’t spend much time looking in mirrors anymore.”
“you’re fuckin’ gorgeous,” he answers for you. one hand goes to the side of your neck and his thumb brushes your pulse and it’s like every single thing in this broken world finally clicks into place with him. and that’s when he does it. that’s when he lowers himself and his lips find yours.
it’s slow. it’s like for the first time since 2003 he has allowed himself to enjoy. he savors you like he savored the meal that bill and frank served you that evening. he drinks you in like their delicious wine, the taste of you better than the heavy red had been on his tongue. a hand slips under your head and caresses, holds you, kisses you like there’s nothing else left to do.
your hands become explorative. across his chest, his stomach, down his spine. he shivers when you hit that sensitive spot just above his tailbone, and it makes you smile against his lips. “like that, huh?” he asks with a laugh. he falls down onto the bed beside you and he tugs you closer, his lips still attached to your jaw. “like knowin’ what you do to me?”
you’re helpless, nodding your head, mind foggy with pleasure. “oh, poor thing,” he coos with another cheeky grin, tapping your bottom lip with his thumb. “i’ll stop bein’ mean.”
“you’re evil,” you say but there’s no bark behind your bite, not when his lips start to move southward, down your chest, pushing up your shirt. your hips begin to raise involuntarily and everything is better than you could ever expect–
the door bursts open. “bill–” joel bellows, rearing back to look at him. you’re not even naked but joel is effortlessly protective, shielding you from his view. but you peek past his arm anyway, and what you see astounds you. bill’s scared. he’s trying to fight it, but you can smell fear like a bloodhound.
“raiders,” bill says and it’s the simplest thing he could’ve said, but it makes you move.
joel is on his feet and you’re tossing him a shirt and he’s tossing you your jacket, you’re moving around each other like you know the exact move the other will make next. and maybe you do. maybe you have memorized the way that he uses his body as a weapon and as a shield.
with guns drawn you help take down raiders. it’s not a fair fight, not with the set up that bill has built and not with you and joel by his side. joel has never had to see you fight. not really, anyway– he’s known of the knife that you keep on you at all times, but bill had tossed you a gun and you knew your way around it and while joel didn’t have time to watch, you could sense it. could feel his eyes lingering for just a moment too long, long enough to risk survival.
and then your gun lowers and your eyes lock and there’s something that passes there, between you.
you don’t know if love is the right way to describe what you feel towards joel. but if it is, then maybe you had just fallen a bit more in love with one another.
any mood that existed prior has been shot by the time that you get back into the guest room. with a long, heaving sigh, you start shucking your clothes off. there’s nothing wrong with them– no blood on them, no dirt, no grime, but the mere act of wearing them while you have killed someone makes your skin crawl.
joel exits the room but he returns with two new sets of clothes. he passes one set off to you before he starts changing himself, eyes heavy on one another.
and when you’re both in fresh clothes you inch towards one another and you collapse onto the bed together, and there’s nothing hesitant in the way that he pulls you to him, tugs your body close to his and wrap you up in his dutiful hold until you both drift off into a sleep, one not fueled by pills or booze, but by the safety of one another.
bill and frank send you with food (bill begrudgingly, frank happily) and a truck. your end stop is the omaha QZ, outside of which you’ll be meeting with a smuggler who joel has been in contact with since you knew him. but you were a long ways away from nebraska, and it would be many days on the road.
it’s two days in when you find the tape, rustling around through the truck. it was a forgotten thing beneath the passenger seat, and your entire face lights up when you see it. joel glances over at you with a furrowed brow and you lift jeff buckley’s grace. in tandem, you and joel say, “yes.”
mojo pin starts from the top and you find yourself gazing out the window. you prepare yourself for the northeastern beauty to turn into the plains of the midwest, reminding you of a life of before. 
you’re crossing into ohio when he asks, “you like this album?”
slowly, you nod your head. “it was all i would listen to,” you say, remembering who you were before. “maybe jeff buckley’s lucky. to have died before all of this started.”
joel stares at you for a long time. “do you really mean that?”
swallowing, you meet his gaze. do you mean it? “no,” you finally say softly. “there are things that i miss. people i miss. but i don’t think i’d be luckier dead.” you huff a laugh and look back out the window. “if i felt that way, it would be a bit silly to live the way i do.”
“and how do you mean?”
“we fight to live,” you say easily. “we fight to survive. we’re not people who want to give up, even if we pretend we are. being alive is having some hope, contrary to what you may believe.”
“never said i didn’t have hope,” joel begins, his voice all gruff.
“joel, please.” you look over at him and you smirk. “i know you. you may fool other people, but you’re not gonna fool me.”
the two of you fall into an easy silence at that point. there’s nothing pointed about what you said to him, and he doesn’t have any fight in him. he doesn’t want to fight with you, he never does. and, besides– despite what he says, he knows that you’re right.
at some point you fall asleep. you wake up to joel’s hand in your hair, his voice slowly coaxing you awake. you wake with a start, snapping up and looking around. “sorry,” you mumble, the last bits of sleep still clinging onto you for dear life. “didn’t mean to fall asleep.”
“s’alright,” he mumbles back to you. “would probably good to stop for the night. we can take turns keeping watch.” he smirks. “it’s your turn first.”
you roll your eyes but he turns the car off and reclines his seat and you can’t help but stare at him. how does anyone expect you to be diligent and alert when you get an opportunity to stare at him uninterrupted? when he opens one eye to look at you you lean back and smile at him, shaking your head. “don’t do that,” you murmur, reaching your hand out and touching his hair, somehow soft still despite everything. “get some sleep.”
joel hums. “keep doin’ that,” he says while your hand is working through his hair. “feels good.”
you’re not going to deny joel what feels good. not for one moment.
the days pass faster than you were expecting them to. it’s just you and joel and the open road. occasionally you roll down the window and you stick your head out and let the wind rustle your hair, let jeff buckley fill your ears with his beautiful melodies and you pretend like you and joel are two normal people on a normal road trip together. the one thing that you will never be, you pretend you are.
an ominous quiet grows over you when you pass over the nebraska border. when you see that sign.
joel senses it in you instantly. and for a man who says he’s cold, who says he’s fucked up, who says that he doesn’t know if he can be what you need– you don’t feel that when he lays his big hand on your thigh and squeezes. and he doesn’t make a hasty exit with it, either. no, it lingers there. it stays there until your hand goes and lays on top of his, and only then does his hand turn over and he grasps your fingers. laces them with his own, and his thumb draws across the back of your wrist.
when you look over at him, you don’t see a man who’s fucked up. you see a man who’s fighting an eternal, internal battle with himself, to love and let himself be loved. you’ve been there. hell, you’re there now, fighting your own similar battle. but perhaps your armor is weaker, because this touch has melted you down to the bone and made you forget why you wanted to fight in the first place.
the words beg to release from your mouth. i love you, i love you, i love you, i love you so much i’m willing to risk the safety of not loving another soul.
“we’ll go wherever you need,” he speaks up. “and then we’ll go to omaha.”
with a curt nod of your head, you pull the map out of the glove compartment and you scour it. you see your teeny tiny hometown, and you circle it, passing it back to joel.
instantly, you recognize the way that he takes a turn, towards your home. towards your old life.
it’s in the stirred silence that you say, “they call seward the fourth of july city,” you smile a little bit at the memories. memories of fireworks and the smell of a grill and celebrating a patriotism and nationalism that you would resent every day after september 26th, 2003. “my friends and i used to joke about that city part. seward was barely a town, let alone a city.”
joel watches you intently. you wipe your nose with the back of your hand. “i lost my virginity on the fourth of july.” there’s something glassy behind your eyes. “one year before the outbreak. i was eighteen– all my friends joked that i was a late bloomer, but i didn’t care. my dad was a preacher and i always got teased because i was the cliche. the rebellious, preacher’s daughter. but that night…” your words drift and you suck in a big breath, watching as dusk overtakes the night ahead of you, casting joel in pretty purple hues. “he wasn’t a bad boy. he was kind. and he took care of me.”
“he was in my senior year english class. i was taking ap lit– didn’t even take the ap test. anyway– he had kind brown eyes, and it was his first time, too. we went into one of the cornfields in his truck after a big fire party. there were always the biggest parties on fourth of july, but i just wanted to be with him.” you pause and look out the windshield and his thumb is still a warm feeling over the pulse of your wrist. “we kept seeing each other that summer. but then i went to college and so did he and… well, the rest happened. i don’t know what happened to him. but i like to believe that he’s somewhere out there and when he starts getting nostalgic, he tells his…” you look at joel. “whoever his you is, and he smiles a little. i just hope that.”
he squeezes your wrist, once more, before he lets go to put both hands on the wheel. he pulls off and you recognize that he’s pulling into the parking lot of a boarded up church, and god if that isn’t hilariously ironic. “thank you,” he says after you’re parked, looking right into your eyes. “i hope that, too.”
hope. what a funny thing.
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