#i keep talking to myself like a crazy person

[ask-caine]

ok ok what’s yours and moons love story. Beginning to end

OOC POST

It's a bit of a crazy story, actually!

We originally met online through TADC, when she messaged all the Caine accounts she could find for a shitpost "wedding" thing. We ended up hitting it off and talking about random things for a while. It started with my random fact about Kentucky marriage laws and how a couple used them to get married by cocaine bear (hence the below picture)

We ended up learning about a shared interest in plague doctors, as well as discussing several very random topics. Anyways, she invited all the Caines to a discord server, and I ended up being the only one who actually showed up. We would end up talking for hours upon hours day after day there. It was genuinely shocking how much we had in common.

At this point, I had been kinda been picking up on some of the flirtatious undertones behind some of the things she was saying, but I wasn't 100% sure about it yet and was still kinda testing the waters. I'd heard the term love at first sight, and looking back on it, that's pretty much what it felt like. I had been developing a crush on her up to this point, and I kept thinking about her as I was getting ready for bed. I had to keep stopping myself from falling head over heels, reminding myself we barely even knew each other and telling myself "no, she's just being nice. Don't be weird, there's nothing behind this, she's just being friendly."

...As it turned out, she wanted to be a little more than friends... Given my feelings up to this point, I was a little overwhelmed when she told me. I had to take a minute to collect my thoughts, to process everything (hence her jokes about me pulling a Caine and running away). But I liked her, too, and was willing to try a long-distance relationship. So, that's what we did.

It was only a few days after we first got together officially that I told her I loved her. It just felt right. Apparently I caught both of us off-guard with it, since she was sure that she'd be the one who would've said it first. ...We both dived in a little too headfirst from there. From my side of things, it was just so exciting and exhilerating to have this feeling I'd been searching for all my life, and I wanted more of it. We took a step back and both agreed to try and take things at a more reasonable pace from here on out.

We ended up learning a lot about each other. It was like we were the same person, split apart and put in two entirely different situations but turning out the same way anyway. ...This similarity became concerning when we realized we both had the same last name, as well as the fact that we both had Scottish ancestry. But, one family search check later, we confirmed that we are not, in fact, related. Just another insane coincidence that further proves that we were made for each other...

We shared a lot with each other. Our interests, hobbies, ideals, feelings on various topics. Our experiences throughout life, good and bad. The darkest parts of us. Every day, we grew closer. There was no denying that there was something special between us.

That isn't to say everything was perfect. We both still had a lot to learn about ourselves and about each other. There were ups and downs. Things were far from easy. There was a lot of avoidable pain both ways. As time went on, we started to become a little more distant...

Eventually, the stress of life and school and worries and everything going on got to be too much, and she called for us to take a break from the relationship. This hurt, of course... But, taking a break and being done are very different things. I was okay with taking a break, since we would still hang out and such sometimes, just not as romantically.

But, that still wasn't enough. Everything continued to be really stressful, and she felt like she wasn't a net positive in my life and was dragging me down (though the truth was exactly the opposite). So, she decided to fully end the relationship. Which... Really hurt me. Badly.

I kind of fell into a depressive state for a while. I had opened myself up like never before, let myself be more vulnerable than at any point in my life. I had finally found love, the one thing I'd truly wanted all my life, the only thing I've ever needed, and then it was just taken right away. The one thing I feared more than anything else in the world had come to pass.

We would still talk occasionally, but not like before. I already hurt so much, and just talking with her without being able to say the love I still felt was torture for me. So, I distanced myself a bit. I dealt with things on my own. I learned a lot about myself as I came to terms with how things had ended up.

Eventually, I started to feel a little more okay. I knew I could never stop loving her, so I decided to try and turn that love from romantic to platonic and still try to be a friend. Because while I may have lost her, she didn't want me out of her life completely. I could make do as just friends.

But, when I started to come back and we started to talk more again, she realized how much she had been missing me while we were apart. She figured out that some of the things she'd been feeling had been more than she'd realized. She learned that she actually was happier when we were together, and that she still really enjoyed being with me.

So, she began to give little hints again, like before. And, again, I picked up on them, but I didn't want to believe them 100% because of how much I'd been hurt last time. I told myself that she was just showing platonic love, the same way I was. Things would never be the same again. They couldn't be. If I was good for her before, she wouldn't have left...

It was actually Randy who got us actually talking again, first on our blogs, and then regarding what we were being sent. This eventually led to us talking just in general, about all sorts of things... Including what had happened between us. It was emotional, but we both came out of it feeling better about things.

That said, it took until this post before I realized she still loved me and that it was okay to love her back, the way I'd been holding in all this time. We had a heartfelt reunion, though we weren't officially dating again just yet. It still took me a while after that to fully accept everything and let down my guard again, after how much I was still hurting from last time...

But I didn't like the feeling of keeping her away. Of having a barrier between us. I desperately craved that deep, personal connection of love with her again. So, I opened my heart up again. And I'm so incredibly grateful that I did.

Soon after that point, Randy showed up and all those shenanigans ensued. But they only managed to get us talking more about things and uniting against it, which actually brought us even closer together. So, I guess if one good thing's come out of that dumpster fire of stress and stupidity, it's that.

Things have been absolutely wonderful since we got back together. We both learned a lot about ourselves in our time apart, and things have been much better between us. The rocky, uncertain road from before the break had smoothed over. And we fell so much deeper in love the second time.

Add in the stress of the past several weeks, with all the Tumblr drama with these blogs and the hiatus and everything (which I'm not getting into because you can see all that for yourself by looking through our blogs), and you're caught up to the present day. Life is still very stressful for us both, but a lot less so than when we first got together. We understand ourselves and each other so much better, which helps us make less mistakes and treat each other more tenderly and personally in the ways that we need most.

As for the future, immediately after finishing school, I plan to find work and save up to visit her in Canada sometime in the summer. After that is a little hazy at the moment, but we'll figure out our lives and put together a plan to find stable jobs and create a good life for ourselves up there.

And that's it, that's our story. From when we met all the way to the present day. You said beginning to end, but I'm afraid there is no end to our love. The story's still being written. Our lives are still being lived. I hope to be able to add to this years into the future, when we're living together and when we start our own family. But it might still take a while to reach that point.

#pdw x shy #ooc post #love story #lore dump #tadc ask blog #tadc bluetooth #bluetooth tadc #caine tadc #tadc caine #moon x caine #caine x moon #caine x the moon #the moon x caine #idk how to tag this #i hope this is good

[8rujaa]

to anyone dealing with ptsd, has there been anything that has helped relieve some of the symptoms?

#im emotionally stuck due to the constant reliving of what happened #i get these weirdly intense flashbacks where i can remember the how the fabric of the couch looked like up close #and how they felt. and how everything looked. the way the colored lights hit the room a certain way #i think i did myself a disservice by thinking i was soooo in love that i didn’t want to forget any details lmao #now i can remember everything like a photograph and sometimes i find myself back in my old apartment and the fear floods my chest #and i can’t breathe and my stomach starts turning it’s terrible. i really felt like i was in hell #i stopped smoking ouid 3 weeks ago bc whenever these flashbacks would happen the high would make them HD and it would send me into a loop #but now i think weed was the thing keeping me above water… it’s been a rough 3 weeks. but before i start smoking again #i wanted to ask if anyone found something else that made it a little easier #it’s been months since our break up and i really want to move on. i’ve tried to meet other people but i’m terrified of men #and i find myself unable to connect with anyone… #i’ve been physically better which i am so grateful for because being unhealthy was my biggest reason i was so depressed #i’ve been doing therapy but i talk about the same thing with her every week. i’m tired of it #i think i’m still in disbelief that they did that to me. i never thought they’d be capable of hurting someone so badly. #i can’t get over the fact that he r***** me for months while i was disabled and pretended not to know what he was doing was bad #i realized he knew when he tried to make it look like i was crazy. that made me really sad. i think i was hoping he was clueless so #i could still believe he was a good person… or at least the man i fell in love with. i was willing to forgive him once he apologized… #when he tried to make it seem like i was going insane the blindfold came off and i saw him for who he really was #like no wonder i was so scared of u dude… no wonder i kept having panic attacks anytime we were together and i couldn’t sleep next to u #i’ve been afraid to admit that shit broke me as a person. i don’t think i’ll ever be the same. i can’t function. #plus knowing i stayed for her bc i was worried for her and didn’t want her to experience the same thing without someone there bc i realized #how good he was at gaslighting and lying. only to find out she was waiting for an excuse to get rid of me… she wanted me gone… #i went thru all that for nothing… #and i still don’t understand why each time i tried to leave for my own good- to get medical help and support they begged me to stay!!! why #brain vomit

[chrisbangs]

hello... (and bye ig 👋)

#👋😭 hi... #i haven't come on in about a month and i didn't realize a month passed by like that... i've kinda stopped using any apps on my phone #i barely even talk to my friends anymore lol 😭 #i just saw my follower count this morning and realized i hit 13k and i was like 🥸 huh... #uhhhhhhh 😭 idk i wanted to say thank you i guess 🫂 #i'm done with stayblr and tumblr in general 😭 this much has been obvious for a while now... i tried to fit myself back in during 5star but #i think i realized i've outgrown the vibes here and in online spaces in general... i don't really enjoy it anymore 😭 which is weird cause #i've used tumblr since i was in middle school so 🫡 end of an era some would say... #i think it sucks because i don't have the same feelings about this place or skz or anything in my life right now... i tried to ignore it bu #it's so obvious now that the entirety of december passed without me really talking to a single person / without me using social media / #without me really doing much except for like homework and assignments lmao #i think genuinely i've stopped enjoying everything i used to like and i don't know why 😭 it hit me the other day bc i don't even enjoy #pc collecting anymore which is CRAZY considering how much time and money i've put into that hobby so 👋🥸 who knows what goes on #i haven't consumed any skz content since rockstar dropped 😭 and that also feels weird to me... idk... i would say maybe i'm going through a #depressive episode but i don't really feel how i do then... i think i'm just tired like i always am and that's just how i am now .. i think #i'm just not really interested in things anymore? weird but .. yeah idk😭 if i knew what was wrong i would Fix It sndjdndkd mostly i'm just #sad because i haven't been talking to friends... i keep ignoring everyone and not replying to any texts from anyone because ???? #i tell myself i will do it later but i know i won't ... idk i genuinely don't know why i'm struggling to talk to ppl anymore 😭 i've become #even more of a reclusive hermit than i already was 💀 and the worst part is i feel normal abt it #i don't feel /bad/ i just feel guilty that i'm not replying to ppl bc i don't want to hurt ppls feelings... on my end i feel Normal abt it #like i ??? is it weird that i'm so detached from everything that not even a month ago made me so happy..? that's weird right 😭 like idgi #i don't feel (as) depressed (as i usually do) but clearly ?? smth is wrong ?? like ik i'm not a clingy sentimental person but ? it kinda #makes me sad wondering if i really don't care abt ppl anymore ... but i think 😭 it's also the object permanence issues that come with adhd #not seeing or talking to the ppl i love . not doing my hobbies or seeing the groups i care abt . makes it easy to not care or forget what #they make me feel etc etc ... i get it... but idk 😭 if that's what this is . well wow it sucks ASS.. cause i feel guilty for not feeling #anything at all ... 😭 idk how to explain that HENSKDNISJS anywayyyy 💀 #i came on cause i wanted to say thank you for 13k followers 😭‼️ and that i probably will not be online anymore unless i really want to say #this was a really long winded way to say i feel bad but i'm done with stayblr fr 👋🥸 i tried so hard for the last 2 years to make it feel #like home again but it stopped ages ago so 🥹 that's ok.. i still cherish my memories here 🫂 anyway thanku and sjsjsksksks bye i guess 😭 #who knows maybe i'll enjoy it one day again and come back :') never know what the future holds 🫡

[tendercoretroglodyke]

re-traumatizing myself in a fun new way by attending my (mandatory, county-wide, crowded) staff development day in the same room of the same building I had my high school prom

#to be clear the traumatizing part of this is the crowds of unmasked people (much like my recurring nightmares) #not the fact that its a staff development day #though im not crazy about that part either #saw 1 person from my branch as i walked in but she was talking to a group of people and also i dont think she particularly likes me #if i find a fellow circ staff i may just stick to them #short of that i may just sit here and try to keep to myself #help lol #hate this!!

[dawntheduckrb]

I'll stop posting wips eventually but it's been five days since I've said anything and I don't want anyone to think I'm dead/dying/stuck in a ditch and withering away, so here's 10% of the reason I disappeared (the duck is stuck in rendering hell) (and my little baby laptop is screaming at me every time I open up this file)

I might still be mostly lurking for a little bit so please be patient with me in the meantime 🙏🙏

#seriously though I'm sorry for just up and disappearing like that #wanna talk to people and interact with them so bad lately but I just can't bring myself to do it #so the best i can manage is blabbing in the tags like always #i don't know wtf is going on but over the past few days I've just felt like i don't deserve to talk to anyone #tried to reblog posts from mutuals several times but something in my head keeps saying; #'yeah they don't actually care for your input at all and you're being a bother for even trying etc etc' #and i know deep down that's probably not true (i hope) but i can't reason it away you know #and i know the best solution to this is to just talk to someone #let it be known that i *did* make an attempt to #i tried texting someone (and succeeded) but i couldn't keep doing it and I'm back at square one (and now feel worse lmao) #i'm not really putting this here for anybody to see it as much as i am for myself #but i know that (hypothetically) this could be seen by a real human so it still kinda feels like I'm reaching out in a way which feels nice #makes me feel less like I'm shriveling up in my own self imposed solitude #so uh hello person who might be reading the tags (there's six of you guys here now which is crazy cause i post nothing but junk here lol) #((but thanks anyway for following and even more thanks for reading this if you did)) #i'll make my way around all the posts i missed soon enough don't worry #i'm sorry i'm really not meaning to ignore anybody #i have drafted quite a few posts from moots that i couldn't finish leaving comments on but i have seen them #everyone here is super cool and talented as always <3 whether that be through art or writing or just finding neat posts to share #this wall of text is long enough and i'm very eeby so thank you again for reading this #tldr; not dead and i'll be okay eventually :) #not rb #hey look i didn't post a picture of my dog this time (a crime) #i'll make sure to share one the next time i get a good one

[august--and-everything-after]

This one guy I made friends with on the trip is genuinely so funny and good-natured and energetic and you'd have absolutely no idea from his instragram cause it's all black and white photos with edgy captions and song lyrics. Tbh relateable.

#he also loves traveling #and doesnt drink #and is really enjoyable to talk to #im kinda down bad guys help #idk when ill see him or any of the rest of them next so ill have to make the effort to keep in touch #also i need to not let myself get crazy about this cause its possible that its just a product of my prolonged isolation #i dont think so tho but lets try and take it slow anyways #hes also fine as hell btw like im not using his personality to cover up a mid appearance hes genuinely hot and fit #ugh fuck i hate crushes lmaoooo making me sound like an idiot #august talking #ok wait he also gives THEE best hugs #and im comparing to the literally 20 other people i befriended last week so its a decent sample size #top tier 10/10 hugs #fuck

[dandyshucks]

i get slightly annoyed when people make community posts that tell ppl to stop doing xyz and use the phrases "they're a FICTIONAL character, theyre NOT REAL" to justify whatever theyre saying because:

1) everyone knows that already, we're all aware these are blorbos from our media;

2) if someone is genuinely struggling to grasp that because of a delusion or similar, a forceful reality check is only going to cause harm rather than help;

3) it just feels so needlessly patronizing;

4) most of the time whatever I see people complaining about is either smth that I never see anyone doing or if it is smth somebody is doing then the block button is a very quick and effective fix for the issue (or even a quick convo w the person in DMs can resolve issues!)

(granted I keep my following circle very small and probably miss a lot but if i can do that then perhaps... perhaps other people can do it too fhfkdl like just prune back whatever u dont like seeing! unfollow or block as needed!)

#speaking as someone who has experienced and occasionally still experiences delusions!!! #reality checks do not help unless we ask for them directly! it's only going to make things worse if u force one on us! #also yes im aware of the hypocrisy of me making a post complaining abt things #but its often just this one phrase that i will see in otherwise decent posts that go around #and im not about to unfollow ppl just bc of this one phrase being used in a post or two that they might've rbed fhfjdl #also this is a niche thing to know about i think? like i dont think most ppl know a lot about delusions #.... as evidenced by ppl using delulu as a quirky meme word. god that one makes me tired and frustrated fjfkdl #but yeah normally i keep complaints and annoyances to myself but this one i figured might actually be helpful to talk about here #since i know theres probably a lot of ppl who have no idea that this is a thing that can actually make things worse rather than better #and like. theres bigger fish to fry i know that! this is a relatively small thing all things considered #but i feel like perhaps if i can make life a little easier for one other person who struggles w mental health then its worth it #if i can convince one person to be more mindful of their language to make the world slightly safer for fellow mentally ill folks then yay! #and i know the internet doesnt need to cater to us crazies but fhdkdl it'd be cool if ppl could just be a tad kinder or more thoughtful #again! not shaming or blaming and I'm not even upset w anyone #ppl genuinely just do not know abt this stuff unless a loved one or they themselves struggle w delusions or psychosis etc #and even then oftentimes its such a stigmatized topic that even ppl who struggle w it themselves might not know or realize it #anyways. climbing down off my soapbox like a kitten clumsily climbing off of a tall couch SBDJSKL #dandy.cmd

[kingspuppet]

If there really is a new P5 spin-off (and it happens to have Goro in it) I apologize in advance for what I will become. I will not apologize for my inevitable excitement and anxiety, but I will say sorry that your feeds will know no peace. Because I will be screaming, crying, and bouncing off the walls. Your DMs might not even be safe should you decide to approach me.

You have all been warned. 💙

#; OOC || Bri ♟️ #; PSA || Calling Card ♟️ #//<<< This tag is very much deserved. #//But also I hate that I can't just be excited. My brain likes to think we're going into anxiety mode for some reason. #//I don't handle anticipation very well asdfghjklkjhghjkl And it always makes me feel crazy #//because it's exceedingly rare to see someone say they get the same way. It's usually talks of excitement and fears. But not anxiety. #//Does anyone else get like this or is it just me??? x.x #//I also can't contain myself when I get excited so as much as this is a rather jokey kind of post I am completely serious. #//It'll become my entire personality because I have no control. #//I will annoy everyone within the general vicinity about it if you let me because keeping it inside is not an option.

[nomaishuttle]

guys remind me to watch la bamba later

#nicha said i should watch it #also nichas my beat friend thank gd for nicha. shes like the only irl person ive talked abt it with #and shes like . no you arent overreacting r you crazy . which makes me feel a LOT better #im so sad shes leaving thi :[[ she keeps telling me t move t great wolf lodge with her JFNFJFBF #and she said that if i ever need a ride to a job interview or a drs appt or anything like that t just ask. shes my bestiee #she has a yojnger sister my age (18 (nicha is 25 BTW) but her sister sucks so nicha literally said I wish you were my sister instead. #common kamille w. she also said im her favorite and i get all rhe stuff on her cart when she leaves ^-^ yay #but tbh. i might frrr look into great wolf lodge bc their starting pay is $18 dollars an hour #plus its. hotel work. which is wayy easier than apt cleaning if im being fully honest #and allegedly its closer to my house sooo... #plus. nicha fiona and i thinkk nee? r all leaving? which leaves me dee and brenda ? brother i gtg im not gonna be one of 3 housekeepers. #ik theyd hire more but i just got here i cant be like the 3rd most senior housekeeper 💀 #sry 4 doxxing myself. potentially #oh also the pay here is 16 dollars an hour with literally no room for growth #brenda is housekeeping lead and she makes like. 17. #nee i think has been here almost since the place opened and she still only makes like 16.... which is insane #so ya i might look into gwl. #im mainly scareddd abt getting rides bc rn marian gives me a ride... #n like she could probably still give me a ride in the morning if im sooo niceys but likee. yk. how would i get home at da end of the day #ik i should just suck it up and ask my roommates bc kate is rly nice and prolly wouldnt mind but. gets scared... she also works closing #shifts so she wouldnt be able t bring me home. lily works a ton of different shifts so its not rly a reliable thang so i cant ask her #plus.everything. and then hal . yeah obvious reasons hes not giving me a ride LOL

[wtfcl0ud]

it's kinda funny and ik they don't mean it badly but my friend who's a still rather recently adult diagnosed asd and adhd will say things in convo like yh asd explains that or me doing that makes so much sense now in a like positive self accepting way and it's fine like one of the things i sometimes enjoy abt them is on chats they will like 100 text and keep switching subjects and it's just ahh crazy cool if the vibe/time is right for me and they're like yh the adhd explains that lol and we got a bit lost in uni and they were like yh tht makes sense the asd bc both examples are things that they've always struggled with that make more sense to them now post diagnosis which yeah great. but when i'm like i'm going back to isolation bc with the anxiety pmdd and my possible (b)pd traits i think that's best for me and it was like reconnecting with them made me realize how crazy things get for me when i'm in any type of relationships bc b4 that i was isolating for almost more than a year so the stark diff after thinking i was better and ready to re attempt relationships was like very obvi™ for me and despite understanding they keep telling me not to villainize myself and i'm not a bad person it's fine etc. and it's like ok yh besides the diff between official diagnosis and self diagnosis/speculation it's the same thing. i'm not villainizing myself and saying that is just like invalidating what ik to be true abt myself. like if i were to say no you don't get lost bc of asd stop making yourself seem stupid or smth tht wld be insensitive so why isn't it the same thing for other 'more' stigmatised conditions. and it's like a general kind of thing you'd see sometimes in a ignorantly and innocently trying to make the person feel better and then with actual malicious invalidating intent.

#personality disorders #pmdd #and we also talked abt the similarities bc the bpd 🤝 asd 🤝 adhd 🤝 pmdd overlap #esp in terms of interactions with others is crazy #it's like that post saying oops! adhd brain in public is fine #but oops! schizophrenic brain is still not #why #like my pmdd brain fog and dissociation and forgetfullness is so bad sometime #added to the uni stress it sometimes leads to lowkey embarrassing situations in public #i forget like everything im in another zone #even without the pmdd just the anxiety i dissociate #gotta keep trying to remind myself during certain things like hey close your bag b4 u walk out pick up all your books wash your hand flush #the toilet it's bad it's embarrassing i'd like to say oops! pmdd brain #sigh whatever #cloud nonsense #ignore me

[8rujaa]

okay, i might let people in

#i’ve been nonstop talking to this person for a few days now #like nonstop we’ll have multiple convos going at once and having to use voice messages to catch up to everything lol #our conversations have yet to die since the first one we’ve had #it feels very very very refreshing to find someone who can keep up #and we have so many things in common but like i’ve always found myself to be a lil weird and have out of the ordinary interests #not trying to say that ‘i’m not like other girls’ LMFAO but it’s hard to find ppl with this many things in common #like one or two things i get but we’ve been able to connect on so many things #even like chronic pain which like is nice to find someone who understands #so now i’m like actually excited for the first time about meeting someone #i’m very very excited and they’re so so so sweet #i feel like i can always tell who’s been in therapy because we tend to carry conversations in a similar way … does that make sense??? 🤣 #like u know how there’s ‘gentle parenting’ #i feel like there’s a specific way people who have been in therapy speak to others #they’re always so mindful of boundaries and also reciprocal #in conversations #we also have the same taste in music which is wild cuz i listen to every genre in existence and music from many different languages/culture #our spotify blend goes crazy 🤣🤣 #we’ve only been talking for a week so i’m trying not to get my hopes up but im just excited 😆😆😆 #lmao but like even if we just end up becoming friends i’m still happy to meet someone who’s so similar :D #i’ve been wanting friends who also struggle with the same things so we can do selfcare things together or maybe just chill on high pain day #and we will know how to be there for each other a little better than ppl who don’t get it.. i crave that real bad 🥲 #i realize i sound delulu as fuck cuz i haven’t even met them in person but i can already tell we’re going to get along 😌😌😌😌 #i’m aware of how delulu i sound and maybe i’m getting my hopes up but it truly does feel like i was waiting for someone like this 🥹

[username-that-isnt-my-name]

i don't actually know if any of my silent following keeps tabs on me or is interested in what's going on in my life, but i'm pivoting from my general jewish studies focus into elementary education. i'm hoping to be able to start as a teacher in 2025, not bad all hiccups and tirespikes on the road to finishing college for me!

#my post #i always love talking about myself and my life #i have been craving the experience of like #one of those stupidly fast connection relationships #that are kinda toxic bc they Move Too Fast #but just the feeling of getting to explain things in my life to a new person #and hear about theirs #it's interesting #but i dont seek it out anymore bc i get too crazy #i had my psychologist give me a tip that i may have bipolar personality disorder and i should talk to my therapist abotu it #and i did and my therapist was like no dont sweat that you dont have it #and so im not sweating it BUT i am #keeping an eye on myself regarding how i evaluate making and forming connections with new people

[quackcitylimits]

.

#sometimes i wonder what would have happened if i said my opinion on the you know what situation when it was happening #like i saw ppl going crazy on here and was like mmmm i should keep my mouth shut #i think especially bc the person i talk to the most about discourse is my irl who also loves mcyt and not just the echo chamber of tumblr #like i was finally seeing how many ppl on here really are just too online #like if it brought up bad memories for some ppl that's one thing but some ppl just reacted so quickly it confused me #idk i thought i was being insensitive but i really think it was just completely blown up and at first i thought it was just bc i didn't want #to see dream in a bad light but if im being fully honest he's probably the person in dtkq i feel the least attached to #i post about him yeah but ive never been a dream main or anything and idk i think it counts for something that i know i can easily distance #myself from him and i don't think he did anything worth the reaction it got #this whole ramble is incoherent and i know it's a tired topic but i never really made a comment on anything and i kinda wanted to for anyone #who wants to unfollow bc i will still post about dt probably so that's perfectly fine #um anyways

[mister13eyond]

Personal

#i always feel like a crazy person when i talk about relationships #because when i describe them im like 'yeah relationships are a series of choices and decisions about how you want to define things and what #-you want or need out of a relationship and how you balance each other's emotional needs and what priorities you choose to focus on' #which is the most like. sterile pragmatic unromantic view of anything in the world I'm sure #and makes it sound like i don't think feelings are part of it #but actually i am FULL of feelings i am fucking CONSUMED by love my heart is full of glitter and rose petals i am completely overcome by- #affection CONSTANTLY i think about how much i love my partners and i go kind of insane like WOW IM LOVED AND I LOVE? I AM KNOWN AND SEEN BY #THESE PEOPLE? I ALLOW THEM TO SEE TRUTHS ABOUT MYSELF I KEEP TUCKED AWAY FROM EVERYONE ELSE IN THE WORLD? BEING LOVED IS AMAZING? #but then like. #at the same time #I'm also like 'yeah idk dude we're in love by choice not by chance' #I DON'T KNOW I'M THE SAPPIEST PRAGMATIC BITCH ON THE PLANET #im just very gay and very lucky to have people who choose to share however much of their lives with me thanks for coming to my ted talk #personal #tmi

[wernerherzogs]

life hasn't been the greatest these past few months but i wanted y'all to finally meet Leoś. :') he's been a member of the family since march 5th, and we all love him a lot. he's probably around 1 year old according to the vet, and he still displays a lot of puppy-like behaviour, so that feels Correct ❤

#personal #it's a complete coincidence that we adopted a dog that looks so much like wilson #and ended up having a character that's largely similar to wilson's as well #we didn't think it'd be a good idea to have a new dog that looks like him but then all the other ones we'd had eyes on would get adopted #and in the end he was the only one available nearby #aside from his first week at home when there were some Tensions between aza and him #it's been pretty good between the two of them as well #thankfully she's accepted him and we've been able to keep him :') #i didn't want to let myself get attached to him at first because i was worried we'd have to give him back #but now he's just There :') sweet and klutzy and crazy energetic #wilson was like. My Dog in a way leoś probably never will be and i still hurt over my loss of him so much i can barely talk about it #but it's been Good to have someone to new to take care of and love #we'd adopted wilson about a month after my first ever dog had passed away too #so we've known for a while from experience that adoption helps with grief #i guess we just all needed more time this time around #post wilson's loss #anyway!!!!!! #happy sunday everyone

[xxswagcorexx]

deep sigh i think its time to open up scrivener and work on that swagsune ashu fic .,.,.

#anyways. hi whats up. its time for core to talk about the creation process #bc my brain is Full #also hey who knows maybe this will help. some1 #but !! idk ive been so pressured to be hashtag deep and hashtag introspective on my fics #and i am just. i have a big space in my heart for comedy ok #i love things that make me laugh and making others laugh!!! #so i think i will treat myself and write something that'll make me laugh . go crazy. so stupid #also literally no one is pressuring me its just. was just thinking and went 'oh huh i like making people/myself laugh' #also i keep on adding Pressure on myself by going 'ohhh there has to be a rlly deep meaning to my work!!!!' #instead of letting it run its course and letting it speak for itself #so i think. this is just a good exercise to get me out of that mindset yk??? #combining my fav things: objectively Crack fics my personal interests and worldbuilding #also its been. Stressful for me #so i think some relaxing funsies fic is good. for me #so yeah :) if you see a silly fic in the tags soon: dats me #me treating myself and having fun hehe #anyways yeah. ramble over. i just think its good to acknowledge my feelings sometimes. n troubleshoot. so yeah :) #text.core