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#i kept forgetting he'd died in random situations
vampireghostlawyer · 3 years
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aineryeo · 3 years
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Prominence ௹ ATSUMU
The letters of the first few days when you parted ways 📨
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Prominence: “Find someone great, but don’t find someone better.” You’d say to yourself, though it was directed to your ex-boyfriend, writing in a number of papers, serving as letters. Awaiting your impending doom.
Timeskip! Atsumu x Reader
Synopsis: You break up with Atsumu Miya in hopes to alleviate his pain. And for what he'd have to deal with. » 6.2k Words
Warnings: Depictions of Mental Illnesses & actual disease, Angst, Suicidal tendencies, Cursing, Atsumu is an impulsive bitch, so is reader. Read at your own discretion. Do not read if this has any sort of possibility to trigger you, more if you feel encouraged to do something you shouldn’t. This isn’t what the fic is about.
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It was a rainy day, droplets of water knocking on the window of what was your empty room. It wasn’t a space you were supposed to be getting used to at this point in your long life. A faint tune of a piano was penetrating through your thin walls as you stared into nothing in particular, maybe the particles that become visible with the peek of sunlight through the gray clouds piercing through your window pane.
Your body got up, but you had a stinging migraine, your limbs were weak, and today was an off-day from your work as a bustling city journalist. No phone calls for a sudden need for your presence in your job. Your blanket was wrapped around you loosely, your feet navigating through your creaking floors. How depressing.
Empty fridge.
Messy bed.
Disorganized papers.
And clothes in unsuspecting places.
Your clothes. None of his. You can’t even reminisce about him anymore. Your migraine seems to have gotten worse. You spot one of the few things that were left organized. Your letters. You grimaced, the pain suddenly pushed to the back of your head as you were reminded of the contents.
“It won’t be bad to see him, at least once.” You reason to yourself with a small smile, it wasn’t a happy one. Nonetheless it was one. One reason out of many when you were always reminded that he was already happy, that Atsumu no longer needed you, and your relationship was a ghost of the past.
It has been for a month now, how else would it go, when you were the one who ended it?
Yeah, it was a bad idea to see him. You scold yourself for coming here, furthering your torture. You see him with a huge smile, bigger than when he was with you. Brighter than when you last picked a joke, at least that was what you thought. You dated him since you were sixteen, young, and fresh in-love.
“Tsum, baby, not here.” You vaguely make out, from hiding behind one of the tall bleachers near the exit from where their practice usually resided in. She was very pretty, her voice silky. You hear a rumbling chuckle in return, you feel your spine shudder at the familiarity. “Hm, honey where do ya want me ta do it then? I jus’ can’t resist ya.” You took your small window to catch a glimpse of them. The perfect lovers.
This was selfish, you knew it. But you inwardly cheered for him, happy to know that he found someone great. That he was happy, even if it was at your expense. Your eyes were glossy, dams about to break, so you walk away; like you always do, like you always did. Your mouth formed into a shaky frown, your fists clenching ‘till you were white-knuckling nothing in particular. White-knuckling all your pain, perhaps.
It was when you exited the establishment, into the car park, into your cheap second-hand car, did your tears fall; until everything kept breaking, your multi-functional tape to bar all your emotions inside, failing you for the umpteenth time for the past month. You were all alone, still clutching your keys to open the door to the driver’s seat. When you felt a hand on your shoulder, which made you jolt, you were too surprised that you didn’t get to wipe your residual breakdown off your face.
“Hey, are you okay?”
Your blurry eyes adjusted, and your heart almost jumped at the familiar face. You turned your face away from him, you were too ashamed to show your face to him. To the brother of the man you were still in love with. You changed your voice a few octaves higher, “Yeah! Thanks, sorry you had to see that.” Mishandling your keys before being able to open it quickly, though Osamu stopped you just as fast.
“I know it’s you, Y/N.”
You froze. “I’m not—”
Hearing a small laugh from him made you stop. “I think I’ve seen your car enough times before, with the same plate to know that it’s you when I parked right next to it.” Turning back, he already had his hand out holding a handkerchief.
“Sorry.”
He smiled sympathetically at your small figure, noticing that you’ve gotten smaller than you already were. More fragile. So he placed his hand that was roughly the size of your face, gently on top of your head to stroke it, hoping to bring you some comfort; roughly knowing the situation about you and his brother. How couldn’t he?
“It’ll be okay.”
It’s not. You recall, already sitting in your bathtub, not really crying, not really feeling anything of the sort. You exhaled as if it lightened your burdens. It won’t be.
You hum. Knees to your chest, “Not when...” You sigh, not now.
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It was time for work, tedious work that requires you to write articles and camp out places at 2am in the morning, only to turn up and camp out at a different place again, just hoping for an interview for your channel. You didn’t feel like breaking down at all, but it felt like everything is typically more down. You refused to eat when your co-workers asked you to join them, you had no appetite.
You hadn’t for weeks.
A heavy feeling is always stuck inside you. Like everything is screaming at you, but you can’t scream back. You just can’t. Always heaving sighs, always staring into what once was blue skies, turned dull grey. Was it because you regretted having to let go of him? Or was it because of the news you had received prior to when you left him? Was it because the one time you felt like you couldn’t walk, the doctor told you that you had a few left; extend your life with a surgery that was high-risk.
Your hand ran through your hair for the umpteenth time, thoughts drifting to whether you should just end it quicker than what you had. What was the point? You failed to notice that your hand was writing on another piece of paper, as if documenting everything that ran through your mind. And maybe you wanted them to find out, when you’re gone. So you don’t have to face the burden of facing them afterwards and giving them any answers.
But you don’t want to ruin the happiness Atsumu had right now. He’ll blame himself, but this was all your fault. You ended it with a bad note so he’d forget you easily, you yelled at him, told him that he was useless, you didn’t love him anymore. You open your eyes, seeing yourself back at the situation where it all began, and where it all ended.
“Atsumu, I hate you.”
“Angel, what are ya saying? I said I was sorry! I’m tired from practice.” He replied, he was tired. He was stressed. You were stressing him. And he was getting rightfully agitated, it was working.
Your thoughts briefly flash to the days before, same old. You chose to do it days slowly, so it wouldn’t be too sudden; so he’d lose all love for you once you leave him. So you nitpick him again, even though it never really bothered you, “You always do this. Maybe we should just...” You swallow, it was like eating hard, bitter candy at once.
“What? Break up? Yeah, with your incessant yappin’ these days, Y/N, I wouldn’t mind one bit.” He said, looking at you with a harsh gaze. Similar to when some random fan begins screaming during his serving routine. You were nothing now. You nodded, if he had the right mind that time, he would’ve noticed that you were eerily calm; you were expecting this, why wouldn’t you?
“Yeah, break up.” You confirmed, with a somber smile. He hadn’t even noticed that more than half of your things were already gone from your shared apartment. You had one last suitcase, it was right beside the door. Atsumu failed to notice all the little things disappearing, so it wouldn’t be a surprise if he failed to also stop you before you hung your apron on the rack, turning the stove off, he was already gone. Into his bedroom, where he slept, too tired for anything his aching muscles couldn’t take right now. Your keys left untouched on the table before you left him altogether. Always, just always looking back with a heavy grimace.
The skies were the same color from that day, to everyday, same grey.
It wasn’t long before you found out he had a new love. Apparently an avid, and innocent fan of his whom he met during one of his morning runs in the park.
“What’re you writing there, Y/N?” One of your co-workers as of now, Akaashi Keiji, brought your head back up in the present. You hummed, folding the paper your hand subconsciously wrote in, and placing it in your pocket. “Nothing, really. My hand just kind of moves on its own when I think of anything in general.”
He smiles, sweet. “That’s endearing. Must be why you’re quite famous in the department.”
You chuckle, “I’m not famous, Keiji. If anything, this job just keeps giving me migraines. You’re the real MVP as a great editor in your dept.”
His hand was rubbing his nape, laughing softly with you. You stood up, supposed to get some water only to fall back down again. Your co-worker quickly catches you with worry etched in his delicate features.
“Y/N, have you been eating?” No, but..
“Keiji, I can’t feel my legs.”
It was showing.
You asked Keiji not to tell anyone, he in turn, asked if any of your family members knew this. It made you chortle, you said, “No. My grandmother died years ago, I’m an only child, and my parents didn’t last.” It wasn’t a funny thing, you knew that but it made you laugh anyway. Laugh at how pathetic you were.
He looked at you, on your bed at your home that he had kindly helped you in after calling your doctor from before. Saying it was that the disease was starting to become severe, causing your limbs, your legs, your arms, to lose its sensation. Slowly, you’ll become more agitated, and it’ll be harder for you to talk, or even move. Only your co-worker, and your boss knew for the time-being.
“You don’t have to help me. I know you’re busy.” You said, though weak, “I’ll only weigh you down.”
Keiji sighed, he knew that you worry too much about other people, he knew that you got lost enough to stop thinking about yourself. And it was sad, he empathized with you in the way that you were both overthinkers, though he’d understood for a while that you were more hasty with decision-making.
“No.” He said, simple.
You looked down at the blanket that covered your bottom half, your top half facing the big, musty, old window next to your bed. Facing away from Akaashi.
“Why?”
He was quiet for a few seconds, save for the usual noise from the surrounding roads. He looked up, before he looked back at your weak figure. “It’s just you—you’re all alone.” Walking around to the other side so he can face you. About to utter a tad more to his sentence, he stopped when he saw your eyes blown wide, a bit red at the bottom, a hard attempt to stop tears from falling. He didn’t miss a beat after, quickly crouching, and allowing your head to rest on his chest.
“So I thought you could use some company.”
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You appreciated your co-worker, now close friend’s generous help. It’s been a few weeks, and you’ve been spending it cooped up in the hospital. He had also forced you to finally admit yourself so you can get immediate assistance in the case that something similar were to happen again. A similar event where he was forced to carry you to your car, and drive you home.
The cords stuck to your skin to hydrate you was a bother, but it was manageable. Here were your last few months alive. You still had no idea why you couldn’t just leave. You had no specific goal, you were bound to hit rock-bottom, and the least you can get is a few more months, maybe years of living if you get the surgery. There was no point, nothing to live for. You could work on your career, but what can you really do with legs that can barely stand, and… hands that can’t even pick up a pen.
The latter was the one that you cried to every night if you had tears to spare. The latter was the one where you try to continuously hit your head in hopes it can keep writing. It was such a simple task, why couldn’t it do its job? When Akaashi came to visit one afternoon, he had to rush and grab the sharp pen you had in your barely moving left hand, attempting to dig it in the skin of the right. Just to feel if it was still alive.
Then it was requested to have no pens, or sharp objects left near you without supervision. You’d call your friends, if by friends, you mean other than occasional visits from your co-workers that didn’t know much about your personal life; but still had the courtesy of visiting you nonetheless after hearing news from the boss, you’d consent to it since you were leaving the field. But he hasn’t fired you yet, apparently.
Sometimes it shifts, when your arms refuse to work, your legs will move for a bit, vice versa. A frown forms on your face when it happens to be both. Why couldn’t this just be quicker? You ponder, and hear the door open. Expecting the only person who visits you so frequently.
“Keij—” You stopped. He stopped. “What are you doing here?”
“Hm? So I can’t visit ya now?” Oh, his familiar tone.
“How did you even know I was here?” You said, a bit agitated.
“Asked one of yer co-workers.” He shrugged.
“...You visited my workplace? And they told you immediately?” You raised your brow, bringing your body up to sit on the bed instead. It was a feat on its own, but he’d seen your struggle, he was about to reach and help actually.
“Yeah, I had deliveries to make.” He said, leaning back. “And I may have made them slip it after overhearin’ yer name. Couldn’t resist my charm.”
“You’re ridiculous, ‘Samu.” You smiled, for the first time in a while. He could tell that it wasn’t a normal occurrence in a while, the thought of at least alleviating your stress for a bit eased a tide inside Osamu.
Osamu took his hat off, putting it on the table next to your bed. He was humoring you, because he didn’t want you to see the first look on his face when he confirmed that it really was you who's been confined here. Not any other person with the same name. He sat on the sofa beside you, next to the window. You’d lie if your heart didn’t clench at the sight of him, If you’d look inside, you’ll spot the tinge of pain; but outside, all Osamu could see was that you still adored him. By that, he meant his brother. He knew he might trigger you due to him being the twin of what was your love. Still is, he was sure.
Clearing his throat, your trance broke. “Y/N.”
“Hm.” You lay your back flat on the metal headboard covered in the white pillows of your white bed, in your white room.
“Why are you here?” It was true that Osamu had heard you were confined in the hospital while he was making deliveries to your place coincidentally, so he couldn’t help but perk his ears. Despite your break-up, he was still your childhood friend, and although he heard of the story of how it ended from none other than his brother’s dull voice on the phone that night he was closing up Onigiri Miya; he knew there must’ve been something that caused you to do that other than Atsumu himself. He’d investigate, and help rekindle the lifelong relationship you both shared if he wasn’t so busy himself. And if his brother hadn’t immediately used a rebound to inflict immediate pain upon you, maybe he’d have considered it.
“I don’t know.” You shrugged.
Osamu sighs, “You do. Tell me,” he looks at you with sincerity, placing his coarse palm from the work he’s been juggling in, on top of your pale, lifeless hands. Almost wincing at the cold temperature they held, “Please.”
You sucked in a breath, he placed his, what you assume to be, warm hand on top of yours. But you felt nothing. So you let it out, “I have Friedreich’s Ataxia. Apparently it’s genetic, uh, doesn’t allow me to use these flimsy things.” You glanced at your legs, slightly waving them along with your hands, “I can’t even feel the warmth of your hand right now. I mean, that is, if you’re warm. It’s always cold here. The doctors said they’d try to give me therapy and train me to walk again, or actually use my hands.” You chuckle.
“And something about heart surgery, though that won’t really extend my life for long.” You finish, opting to insert a joke that you thought was bright until you let it out, “Better than turning out blind though! Haha… Kidding, it may happen to me too, which sucks, by the way.”
Your rambling was cut off when you were met with an intense stare from Osamu. “And you’ve found out of this, when?”
“...Nearly 2 months.. Ago?” You gulped the lump that was stuck in your throat.
Osamu rested his elbows on his knees, thinking. “So that was the reason?”
You retained silence.
He sighs. “I knew it would be a valid reason, but I really wasn’t hoping it would be this.” His face hidden in his big hands, frustration was visible. But it was the breathy question of, “Why are the gods this cruel?” To which your eyes soften, albeit a little bit.
“Samu, can I ask a favor?”
He looks at you, face out of his palms. “Sure.”
“Can you… Turn the TV on?” He raised a brow at first before standing up and getting the remote by the stand, switching it on, immediately being greeted by the sports channel on Volleyball. Oh, they had a game today. He had nearly forgotten due to this new revelation from you. He looked at your face that was staring directly at the screen, then he saw the number thirteen, and his heart clenched tighter.
He placed the remote on the table beside your bed, and he took his black cap. He spun it on his finger for a bit, “I won’t tell ‘Sumu.”
You hummed again, before looking at him. “Thank you.” Then he smiles sweetly at you before turning around, his face immediately turning into a painful grimace. Because even he could feel the tragedy of this love.
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Each day you were gone was a punch in the gut for Atsumu. His initial lack of reaction to his overreaction, trying to get back at you for leaving him. It was wrong. All he ever wanted was to call you, tell you to come back, have you in his arms, the lot. He’d miss the smell of your hair when he hugs you tight, or the clean apartment whenever he comes home to you beaming, cooking dinner; like his precious wife-to-be. Though he hadn’t proposed, the ring he bought for you started collecting dust in his drawer.
The girl he was with didn’t really last long, she broke it off after getting annoyed by him calling your name instead of hers on any normal occasion on impulse. His head in his hands, bed half-empty. His games gave him a little bit of adrenaline, but every time he sees the empty spot saved for you in his jersey, the adrenaline will scafe off, bit by bit. It’d be a lie if he said that he didn’t at least try to call your number in the past two months, he had actually, for a couple of times. But your number was unreachable, and your social media was non-existent.
It was like you weren’t real. Like a ghost. Sand that was slipping far from his fingers, his hold. His hold loosened in a moment of weakness.
To say his biggest regret was the night you left was a lie, because the biggest regret he ever made was never immediately trying to get you back. He was dazed off in the locker rooms after one of their games, his water bottle in hand. Hinata waved in front of him, Bokuto right next; to which his daze cut off.
“You okay, Tsum?”
He smiled, nodding. But his teammates knew it wasn’t the same for a while now. He was more rigid and tired in his movements. Probably not the kind of exhaustion that could be solved by sleep.
“Yeah, no worries.” Even Sakusa worriedly glances once in a while, he still cares, though not openly shown. Atsumu slung his gym bag over his shoulders after changing, he decided to visit his brother in his shop for now. He was walking out to drive when he accidentally bumped into someone, trapped in his little thoughts about you again.
“Oh—Sorry, didn’t see ya there.” Atsumu apologized, knowing it was his fault.
“It’s okay, Miya-san.” It took a few moments before Atsumu registered who this was.
“Akaashi? Keiji? Bokuto talks about ya all the time! Nice to meet ya.” He smiled, putting his hand out for him to shake. To which the latter man does. Oh, Akaashi recognizes him, not just from being his friend’s teammate; but from being your ex. He concluded in his thoughts by the few seconds they shook hands that he wished for him to not find out about you any longer. Thinking about the pain it would cause for both of you, especially him. They nodded at each other before bidding goodbyes and heading off to their own destinations.
Atsumu drove past the busy streets of the city, traffic holding him back a little bit. He was stopped a little bit in front of the city hospital. He didn’t know why, but his gaze lingered on the building a little longer than he’d like to admit. His left hand clutching the wheel, the other on the stick; Why does it feel like… He shakes his head to rid himself of ridiculous thoughts, seeing as the cars were finally moving, he did too.
Just as his foot pressed on the accelerator, his eyes landed on you. His eyes were the widest it had been, and this was the day he felt the most emotions since the day you left him.
“Y/N?” He asks, though his window was turned up and he was inside his car. He must be going crazy. Were you on a wheelchair? Was it really you? Or were his eyes playing tricks on him again, just like it had been every time he visited places he used to go with you. Or when he needed anything in particular, his first call in the apartment would be your name, expecting an answer back like you always had been.
He rolls his window down, and at that moment he swears your eyes met before you quickly changed vision. He’d run out of his car to chase you right now, if it weren’t for the honking behind him. Fuck.
He drives forward, and goes around to park for the hospital real quickly. Just to see if he wasn’t going insane by the amount of times he’d imagined seeing you again. He looks around the area, arriving at the greener part of the hospital, probably one of the places where they take some patients out for walks. Atsumu’s heart beats faster when he sees the same beautifully familiar hair, and angelic face he’s fallen in love with. He misses a beat, he stops, just plainly admiring; he notices your weaker stature, and your crest-fallen face. Paler skin, and limp limbs. And for that mistake, he fails to notice you were being guided in already.
He panics. About to bolt when he suddenly trips over his feet, and gets a bloody knee as the door closes. That doesn’t stop Atsumu, no, he’s dealt with much worse; one of which was the pain of not having you in his life. So he runs, and he sees the wheelchair you resided in enter the elevator; and once again, he swears, he swears, that his breath catches in his throat as he sees your eyes, and you see his.
And maybe he didn’t know, and maybe you didn’t know, but for the first time in months, you both saw colors.
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“She was there, ‘Samu, I was sure of it!” Atsumu yells even in the midday of the bustling Onigiri Miya.
“Yer delusional as always, ‘Sumu. Ya should get yer head checked.” Osamu says from the kitchen in the back, there was faint squealing from the men and women alike in the restaurant. Feeling blessed for being able to witness the Miya twins in one sitting. And bantering, no less; even if it was over a girl.
“I can’t have mistaken it. I know when I see ma’ girl, Samu. Ya know it.” Atsumu groans, burying his head in his arms on the counter. “But when I asked the nurses, none of ‘em are giving me details. They say there ain’t Y/N L/N on their recent list of confined patients.”
Osamu was lucky he was working the kitchen right now, because he was low-key nervous of what to say, to not compromise you. How was his brother so close to it anyway? He wants to drive him away. He thinks he can agree with your rationale, but when he thinks of his brother’s side, wouldn’t it be more painful to just find out that you were just… Gone? His mind was splitting in half because of this dreaded situation, until Atsumu called him out again.
“Hey, ya scrub! Are ya even listening to me?” Atsumu lightheartedly yelled as Osamu’s heart softened. If anything, he didn’t want to see his brother bear the pain of losing you, permanently.
“Yeah, yeah. Shut yer trap. I have a business running here. Yer scaring off the customers.” Osamu says, getting out of the kitchen, arms crossed with a scowl.
“Help me, Samu. I just… Can’t bear to lose her.” Atsumu finally says, with a lace of evident longing. Osamu’s face contorts into a myriad of reactions that he couldn’t pick from. Before he settled with a sigh, and a lean on his forearms to poke his brother roughly on the forehead. A grunt of pain from the blonde.
“The only one who can help ya is yerself. If ya want to go find her, go ahead. Whatever your choice will be, don’t let it end with regret.” Was all he said before he went away to tend to the girls who were about to order, red-faced, and all.
Atsumu didn’t understand it a bit. How was that supposed to help him? He thinks. His fist digging into his cheek, face contorted into heavy thinking. It went on like that. He had no other clue, but he kept visiting the hospital, kept driving through, hoping he could catch a glimpse of you; to prove to himself that you were real. But for the first few days, he had no sign of you whatsoever. He kept bugging the nurses, or at least asking them everyday and ended up getting rejected again, and again, and again.
He sat in his car parked in the hospital on his free-day. As if a lightbulb turned on, he felt stupid for not visiting your workplace. They should at least know something about you, right? You were pretty well-known, and idolized in the industry. So he drove there, he may or may not have sped up a little more than he should but all in good purpose. He arrived there, and immediately knew where to park, the signature spot for everytime he comes to drive you home. Recently hearing that you bought a car when you broke up with him, made him sink a little bit. But he saw the spot was taken, eyebrows furrowing for a little before parking to the spot next to it.
When he got out, he noticed that the car that took your spot had dusting on it. As if it hadn’t been let out in a while. Or used. Quickly putting two-and-two together, maybe this was your car? The one you had bought? And if it hadn’t been used in a while… Then that supports his thoughts about you being in the hospital. His face shifted into worry. That must mean.. Whatever you had been sick of, was serious if you haven’t been using your car as often, considering your job was hectic.
He shook the thoughts off for a while, determined to find more clues about you instead. But he thinks the search suddenly became too easy when he suddenly heard a few gossiping women.
“Oh, poor Ms. L/N… She’s been hospitalized for a month now.”
“Really? Have you heard of any reason why?”
“I’m still unsure but I heard it’s chronic, and she doesn’t really have long.”
He sucks in a harsh breath. What? His ears perk up more to their conversation. He hides behind a wall, he assumes that they’re probably heading for their lunch break as a group right now.
Then a snicker, “I know this is kind of mean, but who’ll be replacing her now? Surely her position is up for debate.”
Atsumu’s face darkens at this. Stepping out of the wall as his big frame became all the more intimidating, “I mean, she’ll be biting the dust sooner or—”
“Shut your damn mouth, filthy whore.” Atsumu says with a sneer. Chin up, looking down. “Continue that sentence and I’ll see who bites the fuckin’ dust first.” A whimper, “It’s him again!” Shuffled feet, then they’re gone and out of his sights.
It takes a sigh, and a slump in his posture before everything sinks in. What does this mean? Is it.. True?
He shook his head, sure, you weren’t looking so good when he last saw you. You looked especially sick. But it was like nobody, not even the universe, had wanted him to see you. He thought back to the gossiping workers earlier. It’s him again? Atsumu hasn’t visited in a while, and he doesn’t think that he’s seen them… Oh.
Fuck, Osamu.
He could pass off as a professional racer with the speed he was driving at, only lucky enough to not have any cops tailing him. He was breathing heavily, his brother knew about you and didn’t tell him anything apart from that vague statement a few days ago? He couldn’t help the light betrayal he felt but in all honesty, he’d much rather force his brother to take him to you now. So when he arrived in Onigiri Miya, he didn’t waste a second dragging his brother out who was grumbling incessantly.
“The fuck ‘Sumu, I have a business to run!”
“No you, The fuck ‘Samu. You knew where Y/N was? Take me to her, now.” Atsumu said, foot on the ground, he won’t let anything come between his decisions now. Taking the bag of Onigiri from Osamu’s hand, “I’ll take this too. I’ll pay for it, I need to give a treat at least but we’re kind of in a hurry.” Osamu sighed, finally getting the gist of the situation. Deciding to spare his brother, he’d have to apologize to you later for spilling the beans. But he thinks he needs to let his brother let his feelings out as well.
“Okay.”
“No, you don’t have any other cho—Okay. Okay, get in the car.”
Osamu briefly yells at the part-timer he recently hired, telling them to take over for a while. To which they nodded eagerly, and so, the brothers left. Save for the quiet ride for the first few minutes. “...How—” Atsumu clears his throat, “How is she?”
A quiet beat, Osamu thinks of his answer. He settles for a passive one, “Okay.”
“Hn.” Atsumu grunts.
Osamu leans back on the passenger seat, “Just… Just make sure you don’t regret any of this.”
Atsumu raises a thick brow at this, “Why would I?”
“I think you already know why.”
He sucks in a harsh breath at this, and the silence remains. Atsumu reaches the hospital, parks the car, and Osamu leads the way to your room. Every step Atsumu took felt like the ground was shaking and trying to eat him whole. He wanted to see your pretty face again, your smile that could make his day whole and puff his chest out, or your hands that would comb through his hair and ask how it’s so soft when he bleaches it regularly.
So why was he seeing your writhing body under nurses yelling your name this time. Osamu breathes in, slowly understanding the situation as he quickly glances at his brother who was frozen. Both of them kept walking, until they were in front of what was supposed to be your room. Door open, and multiple people, trying to keep you alive. He hears that the doctor is coming, that you should wait, that you’ll get better in no time, at this point Atsumu didn’t know if the reassurances were for him instead.
When he sees your weak hand gripping the railing of your bed, he breaks. The bag of Onigiri long forgotten on the floor as he runs towards your bed.
“Darling, hey, hey, Angel, you—Yer okay, yeah? You’ll be fine, please be okay.” Atsumu says with shaky hands gripping yours, it was intensely cold, as if you weren’t even alive in the first place. He wishes so much that he was the one to give you warmth. “Look at me, you’ll be okay.”
And for the second time in a while, your eyes meet his, your weak, fragile, pretty little eyes; finally meeting him. The nurses noticed you calming down more, but your state wasn’t getting any better. They were initially going to let Atsumu out, but noticing the intimate relationship you two seemed to have displayed, they decided against it. More focused on bringing you back to life.
You had the heart surgery. You took the leap to extend your life, ever since you caught a glimpse of him a few days back; you just knew that the biggest regret you’d ever have is to never try. You told Akaashi when he visited that you were deciding on it, and he was supportive. He was really supportive. But you weren’t blind that it was a risk that may also shorten your life instead. Though wasn’t that what you were asking for, this whole time?
So maybe the time you got out of the surgery unscathed was the calm before the storm, it was the calm before this. But you were glad that even through your hazy vision, it was him that showed. It was Atsumu that kept telling you to look into his pretty eyes, and tell you that you’ll be okay.
Atsumu thinks that even in this situation, you were the most beautiful thing he’s ever laid his eyes on. So when the most beautiful thing slipped from his grasp, with no chance of clutching it back; his heart is torn, and burnt into crisps, non-existent flakes as his mind replays every memory he’s ever had with you, and how he was standing and watching warm, sunny spring turn into the ruthless, cold winter.
Osamu watched his brother break down in front of your bed, his own tears mixing in the lot, his cap covering most of his face. Another familiar figure that frequented visits with you, a solemn expression on his usual calm face. Heavy feeling on his chest, Akaashi approached the man who lay on his knees in front of your bed while the nurses that were scrambling to keep your life had promptly announced the date and time of your death.
Akaashi handed the box in his hand towards Atsumu who was kneeling with all his might, head on the ground, continuously asking for forgiveness from you, continuously asking for more time, just a little more. He hates this, he hates it. Because, when it sank in, you were gone.
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The scene of your death. ⁆ To Visualize :) But instead of it being Kousei playing the piano, it's Atsumu when he plays volleyball, but when someone comes up to him, tapping on his back with a bright smile for an interview after the game; it's not you.
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teacherunicorn · 3 years
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A/N: I really see OneRepublic's 'All This Time' as Five & Delores' song. I feel like it has the right vibes to it. Am I wrong?
@tomisbaeholland @universsdaughter
Delores Theadoisa Hargreeves
Chapter Sixteen
The Hargreeves kitchen was silent as five of the occupants stared at the one other, who just went about making his sandwich.
"What's the date? The exact date."
"The 24th." Vanya offered uneasily.
"Of?!"
"March...."
Number Five paused and seemed to think for half a second. "Good."
"Are we gonna talk about what just happened?" Luther put forward, only to be ignored. He stood in Five's way and said in his 'I'm Number One' voice: "It's been seventeen years."
"It's been a lot longer than that." Five snapped and with a flash teleported behind him.
"I haven't missed that...." Luther sighed.
"So where'd you go?" Diego questioned.
"The future." Five blinked between the cabinet and the table. "It's shit by the way."
"Called it!" Klaus piped up.
The next thing out of Five's mouth made everyone else stare at him like he had three heads: "I should have listened to the old man. You know, jumping through space is one thing, but jumping through time, is just a roll of the dice." He looked up from spreading peanut butter on his sandwich. "Nice dress."
Klaus lit up. "Oh, well danke!"
"Wait how did you get back?" Vanya asked in confusion.
"In the end, I had to project my consciousness forward into a suspended quantum state version of myself that exists across every possible instance of time."
Beat.
"That makes no sense." Diego looked at him with a furrowed brow.
Five didn't even look up. "Well, it would if you were smarter."
Number Two jumped up to attack, but Luther was quick to hold him back. "How long were you gone?"
"Forty five years." Five shrugged, closing the peanut butter and marshmallow sandwich. "Give or take."
"So what are you saying? That you're fifty-eight?"
"No, my consciousness is fifty-eight." Five corrected with a glare. "Apparently my body is now thirteen again."
"Wait how does that even work?" Vanya asked.
"Delores kept saying the equations were off." Five took a bite of his sandwich and shrugged. "Eh, bet she's laughing now."
"Delores?" Alison frowned. "Our Delores?"
Five turned to face them and seemed to notice for the first time that the caretaker was not among the group. "Where is she?"
"She was working in Germany when she got the news." Diego informed. "Pogo said she was flying in."
"Oh, she called; her connection got delayed. She won't be in for another few hours." Klaus commented idly.
"What?!"
"You didn't think to mention this earlier Klaus?!" Alison demanded.
"Well I'm sorry, when between Luther accusing us of murder and Five jumping through time was I supposed to relay a message?"
Everyone in the room collectively groaned. They all knew that they were doomed to insanity until Delores arrived to straighten things out.
"Well, nice to see that nothings changed." Five sighed, strolling past the group and out the door.
"Really? That's all you've got to say?" Alison called after him.
"What else is there to say?" He called back, taking another bite of his sandwich. "Circle of life!"
*******
Upon entering his old bedroom, the first thing Number Five did was open the door to his closet in search of something to replace the suit that had become far too big on him.
Flipping a few hangers to the side, it quickly became apparent that all the closet held were the Umbrella Academy uniforms he'd left behind. Cursing under his breath, he sighed and selected one off the rack at random.
Turning, Five paused when he noticed the large pile of packages occupying his bed. Wrapped in various colors of paper in various sizes, he noticed that the ones toward the bottom of the bunch seemed faded, as though they'd been there a while. A quick count showed that there were forty packages in total.
One for every birthday and Christmas he had missed.
"She waited." He smiled fondly. "Well, nice to see she didn't forget about me."
Leave it to Delores Theadoisa Hargreeves to go the extra mile for her kids. Had the situation been different, he may have been worried his caretaker would have planed a future without him in it; but this was Delores he was talking about. The single ray of sunshine that even the Apocalypse couldn't snuff out.
Seeing the small signs she'd left for him to find through the years he'd been gone had kept him going. A mark scratched into the stone of a building or sidewalk, small doodle in the corner of a historical paper that the Commission thought to be stray ink marks; it kept her voice with him.
It also made him all the more anxious to see her again in person.
******
*Several Hours Later*
Muttering to herself about about the fact that, for all his eccentricities, Reginald Hargreeves had never bothered to invest in a private plane, Delores unlocked the front door and pulled a large rolling suitcase in behind her.
Huffing, she propped it up on it's wheels and dropped her duffle bag on top of it. She turned to the empty entry hall and frowned.
"Come on! I know I can't have been the only one who came to make sure the old man was dead! Where is everyone?"
Her voice was still echoing down the halls when a familiar flash of blue blinked in the corner of her vision and Delores stumbled backwards when a weight was thrown against her and a pair of arms locked around her torso.
She blinked. Once. Twice.
The rest of the Umbrella Academy appeared in various doorways, but Delores failed to notice,her eyes locked on the person burying his face into chest.
She opened and closed her mouth serval times before hesitantly wrapping her arms around him.
Solid. Real.
"....Finny...?"
The only response she got was Five squeezing her tighter, as though she was the one that had been gone for nearly two decades and would disappear once more if he let go.
Blinking again, Delores looked up to see the faces of her other charges watching the pare of them. She skimmed over a quick headcount; Luther, Diego, Alison, Klaus, Vanya. All accounted for, and all the same age they had been when she'd seen them last.
In the doorway leading to the sitting room, she saw her mother and Pogo. Feeling more like a lost child than she had since she had properly been one, she looked to the pair that had raised her with a bewildered look.
"W-What did I miss?"
*******
Number Five was very much the type of person that hated having to repeat himself, but he gladly recounted the story he had told his siblings mere hours ago. Delores seemed to understsnd his explanation for his return better than the others had, but gave him a look when he mentioned the off equations that had put him into his thirteen year old body.
“Five what was the number one rule of all your lessons?”
“Don’t start fights with my siblings?”
“That was trainings.”
Five smirked. “Double check my math, then double check it again.”
“There you go.”
He chuckled. “I’ve missed you, E. Obviously....”
“The feeling’s mutual. Obviously.” Delores smiled at him. Finally turning to address her other charges, she did a quick head count to see who had actually shown up. When glancing over Number One, she blinked and did a double take. “What the hell Luther, you’re not supposed to be taller than me!”
“You didn’t know about this?” Diego raised an eyebrow.
“Spaceboy has been keeping radio silence for a while now.” Delores folded her arms.
“Oooo, somebody’s in trouble!” Klaus sang from his slouched position on the couch.
“Well while she’s already mad at you, why don’t you tell her about your theory of how dad died?”
“Diego—“ Luther tried to cut him off.
“An old man in his seventies had a heart attack.” Delores frowned. “While I admit that’s the most normal thing to happen in this house, what’s to theory?”
“Well- I- you see-“
“Luther.”
“He was anxious the last time he contacted me.” Luther tried to reason. “Told me to watch my back.”
“Sounds like the paranoia he instilled in all of us.”
“Maybe, but —“
He was cut off by the sound of the front door opening. Everyone frowned and looked towards the noise. They were all here, who the hell could that be?
“Oh little digits, I’m home!”
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stardustintheabyss · 4 years
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“I’ve seen you before”
Oikawa x fem!reader
Sum: Taking a deep breath, letting down your guard, getting out of your comfort zone. Opening the wall you built around your heart a long time ago.
You let Oikawa Tooru in.
But was it a mistake?
Warnings: swearing because I have no r e s t r a i n t. Insecurity, bullying. Oikawa being a dumbass. Angst and fluff. Small spoiler at the end.
Word count: A lot, it’s....it’s long. My stupid tablet doesn't have word count capabilities
A/n: this is based on a dream I had. How dare the dream gods give me oikawa and not my husbando(s) tendou(kirishima) 😩 and I write to get scenarios out of my head before they drive me insane
Well at least he's pretty
ok I 💫may💫 have fallen a little while writing this
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It had been a long weekend of practice and homework for Oikawa. So what better way to zoneout and relax before bed on Sunday night then scroll through his instagram feed.
He'd been scrolling through random sunset photos when he suddenly saw your face in the 'suggested for you' section. Your picture was of you with what he assumed was your cat perched on your shoulder. It was cute. You were cute.
And you did look familiar. Yes, he has seen you before. He's seen you at school. You're always by yourself, reading a book or on your phone sitting on a bench by the front gates.
He tapped on your photo. He started looking through your posts. Landscapes, food, your cute cat, flowers, sunsets, your family. Is what you mostly posted.
Then he came across the rare selfie.
He was wrong. You weren't just cute.
You were breathtakingly beautiful.
How had he not seen that at school?
You were looking off to the side, a small shy smile on your lips. Sunlight and cherry blossom petals in your wild wind blown hair.
He saw that you were online.
He wanted to talk to you and he didn't have the patience to wait until tomorrow at school.
Hey I've seen you before. You go to Aoba Johsai right?
A message popped up on your phone. One from Aoba Johsai's resident pretty boy and captain of the volleyball club. Oikawa Tooru. What the fuck? You weren't one of his pathetic fan girls that fawned all over him. You never cared for the drama that followed the popular crowd. And in all honestly he kind of repulsed you because of the way he let his ego be stroked. You saw him as a pompous ass. You've never shown any kind of interest in the setter. So why was he messaging you of all people? But curiosity got the better of you and you wrote back. Not like he's gonna talk to you at school anyway. He's popular and you're a loner. Two different worlds.
You know that sounds creepy right? But yes.
I'm just trying to be friendly 😔
I've seen that you sit mostly by yourself and thought you could use a friend 😁
You snorted. Maybe he wasn't as bad as you thought. Still, you didn't want to be too friendly towards him.
I don't care for hs drama but thanks for your chivalry ig 🙄
At this moment your college aged sister begged you to help with one of her cosmetology classes that's due tomorrow. Eyelash extensions. You don't wear makeup but she's your sister and she's giving you puppy dog eyes. You sighed, "Fine." Forgetting to exit out of your messages, you set your phone down, ready to be put through hell.
"Thanks sis! Okay I just need you to lay down and relax." While she got to work the messages on your phone went unnoticed by you.
I'm sorry I didn't mean it like that, promise 😅
Y/l/n?
You there?
I'm REALLY sorry!
It's rude to leave people on read yk
Please ?
Y/l/n-chan?
Oikawa was panicking. He didn't mean to piss you off...and now he might have lost his chance to be your friend...or more maybe?
Trying to face time couldn't hurt right?
It just rang. And rang. And rang.
You didn't pick up.
Please. Y/n I'm truly sorry. Sometimes my mouth gets the better of me and I don't think about what I say. I just meant I'd like to be your friend. If you'd let me?
"All finished, babe." Your sister said. "You're looking gorgeous! If I do say so myself." She took a quick after picture for her class.
You grimaced. You never thought of yourself as pretty let alone gorgeous. "Thanks, I guess. Not one to toot your own horn, huh?"
She just rolled her eyes. " Your phone has been pinging like crazy by the way." Wiggling her eyebrows, "Talking to a boy? My baby sis, all grown up."
"W-what?" You stuttered, picking up your phone. 8 messages and 1 face time call. All from the setter captain. It must be your imagination because in the last message he sounded...flustered? You didn't notice the soft smile that graced your lips. But your annoying sister did.
"Oikawa. Isn't he some volleyball big shot at your school? Y/n, is that a smile I see?" She grinned from over your shoulder, seeing the messages.
"I-. Yes. He is." Furrowing your brows. Denying the truth, "And no, I am not smiling."
"Mmhm. Sooo you going to have a new 'friend' or what."
Your self consciencesness got the better of you. "Why would he want to be my friend? He's him and I'm...me." You bit your lip.
"You idiot. You really don't give yourself enough credit. Your smart, have a kind heart and you are beautiful. You just don't let yourself see it. Let someone in." She whispered in your ear giving you a hug.
You sighed. You believed that your sister believed in what she was saying...but years of middle school bullying ingrained into your heart and mind don't disappear overnight. "I'm tired. I'm gonna go to bed. 'Night sis."
"Good night y/n."
Getting ready for bed you looked in the mirror. You had a tiny smile, your sister was right, the lashes did look great.
It was late but right before you drifted off to sleep you sent Oikawa a message.
Sorry. I'm not mad, I was helping my sister with something...
Taking a deep breath, letting down your guard, getting out of your comfort zone.
Opening the wall you built around your heart a long time ago.
You let Oikawa Tooru in.
...I wouldn't mind having a friend
The next day
He woke up to two new messages from you. He had tried staying up, waiting for a reply back but he must have fallen asleep. His phone still in his hand.
Sorry. I'm not mad, I was helping my sister with something...
...I wouldn't mind having a friend.
A wide sleepy smile came across his face. Just about the time he was going to dm you his phone died. Where's my damn charger? He started rifling through everything, turning his room upside down. The last place he had it was...the locker room.
"Dammit!" He would just have to see you at school. He quickly got ready to go meet Iwa-chan and walk to school.
You weren't necessarily disappointed that Oikawa hadn't replied yet. Even though you had lowered your walls, you set the bar pretty low on expectations. Especially on a friendship with him. But that didn't stop you from being a little excited to see him. You were sitting in your favorite spot at school, reading. Same thing you did every day. It was on a small stone bench in the shade of a cherry tree near the entrance. Abruptly you heard a chorus of squealing. You've learned throughout high school this meant Oikawa had stepped on campus, Iwaizumi reluctantly in tow.
You smiled and waved.
He didn't see. But you didn't know that. 
You thought he was ignoring you. Your smile faded. Last night must have been some prank. It wouldn't have been the first time someone decided it would be funny to play with you like a toy. You never should have listened to your sister and let your guard down.
Tears started to prick your eyes. You shut them tightly, willing them to not fall.
You were not going to cry over Oikawa fucking Tooru.
You grabbed you bag and headed to your classroom.
He had seen you get off the bench and walk towards the building. He tried making his way to you but there was just too many girls blocking him. Letting out a frustrated breath he waved his hand and yelled, "Y/l/n-chan!"
You didn't hear him.
Upset he couldn't get to you he said the only thing he could think of to get all these girls to back off for once. "I have a girlfriend, so could you please respect that." He didn't see the crazy girls make a connection between what he said about having a girlfriend and yelling your name.
He didn't realize he just put a target on your back.
At lunch
You were spinning the dial to your locker getting your lunch when you were shoved against it. You turned around and was met with several angry looking girls. Eyes darting between them. Your fight or flight instincts kicking in.
But nobody ever mentions the third option, which is what happened.
You froze.
"This is her?" Some girl sneered.
What were they talking about? You'd never done anything to these girls. You'd always kept to yourself, ensuring a situation like this wouldn't happen.
"She's not even pretty." Said another taking a sip from her juice carton.
"I bet it's just some joke. He wouldn't be with some fat worthless nobody." The girl who seemed to be the leader said as she pushed you to the ground.
Ignoring the tears starting to run down your cheeks and swallowing the lump forming in your throat, "What are you talking about?"
"Wow, Oikawa has himself a stupid girlfriend." said the leader.
"G-girlfriend?" Ok. Now you really had no clue what the fuck they were talking about.
"Stay the hell away from him. He's mine." With that she dumped the remains of the other girls juice carton on you and they walked away laughing.
Holditin.Holditin.Holditin. You chanted inside your head until you made it to the bathroom where you could cry without being bothered. You had stayed off the radar for years and now you were in the middle of it. You let out a sob, sliding to the floor. You felt like you were right back in middle school. Useless. Fat. Ugly. You brought your knees to your chest. Unloveable. Unwanted. Not worth anybody’s time. That’s why you shut everyone out when you became a first year at Seijoh. You didn’t want a repeat of middle school. 
But it ended up happening anyway. 
So you cried. You cried until you had no more tears. You let it all out until you didn’t care anymore. You had no problem in obeying the threat staying away from the bastard. She could have him. You stood and splashed water on your face trying to ease the puffiness around your eyes. Sighing you realized you'd probably have to stay after school until you looked like you hadn't spent your entire lunch break crying or your sister would ask questions. The now pink stained shirt you could explain away easily. The red and puffy eyes you could not. And you didn't want to deal with that on top of everything else. 
Oikawa had looked for you at lunch but he couldn't find you. He did however hear some girls laughing and chatting about messing with ‘Oikawa’s girlfriend’. How could they mess with someone he made up? He turned to his best friend to ask. “Iwa-chan do you know what those girls were talking about?” he whispered so no one would hear, “How could they have messed with my ‘girlfriend’ when I made her up?”
“Idiot. Remember this morning when you called Y/l/n’s name and then immediately after said you had a girlfriend? And don't call me Iwa-chan, Shittykawa.” He rolled his eyes.
He blanched. He hadn’t realized what he'd done. Or apparently how psycho those girls are. He was so focused on you he didn't even whine about Iwaizumi’s regular insults. He wanted to find you and see if you were okay. To apologize for putting you in that situation. Standing abruptly making his chair screech, “I got to go find her--” The bell signaled lunch was over. Fuck. Maybe she’ll be on that bench after school. I’ve seen her there after practice sometimes.
After school
And by some miracle you were there, reading your book. Oikawa took a minute to look at you before he approached. As in your picture your hair was wild but not unkept, it was hiding your eyes. Your lips were slightly pursed while you were reading and your leg was bouncing contentedly.  
You were beautiful.
You looked okay.
Until he got closer and finally saw your eyes. You had obviously been crying. By the looks of it a lot. He also saw you had a huge pink stain on your shirt. What had happened?
You had heard someone approach but decided it was best to ignore them.
“Are you okay Y/l/n-chan?” Oikawa spoke softly.
You were so not in the mood for this. For him. Your hands tightened around your book, flicking your eyes up at him and then back down, “Don’t.” 
It was only a second but he saw the hurt in your eyes and it was his fault it was there, “I wanted to-” He tried to say but you didn’t let him finish.
Your voice was raw with emotions you didn’t want to feel for him. “WHAT?! You what? Wanted to play with my feelings some more? I bet you had a good laugh last night saying all that shit. And then completely ignoring me this morning when I waved. Making me feel like I could actually have a friend for once?” Your voice got louder and he flinched at your next words. “That someone would even want to be my friend? I fucking knew I shouldn't have but I let you in anyway.” You let out a dark broken laugh and said much quieter, “Even after what happened last time.” Coldly, “Don’t you have a harem to get back to? Just...just leave me alone Oikawa.”
His mouth dropped in shock. He hadn’t seen you wave. What did you mean by last time? He was heartbroken that someone had made you feel this horrible about yourself and he had reminded you of it. He didn’t want to leave you alone, he had to make you understand you were special. He laid his hand on your book trying to make you pay attention. He said the only thing he thought would make you listen. “Tooru.”
You stiffened, nobody calls him by his first name. You've never even heard his best friend call him Tooru. Your voice barely above a whisper, heart stuttering, “What did you say?”
“Tooru. You can call me Tooru. I-I was happy this morning when I woke up when I saw your messages. But my phone died before I could say anything.” He cleared his throat, “ I fell asleep waiting. I was going to talk to you but then that stupid crowd of girls came. Y/l/n I swear I didn’t see you wave! I tried calling for you but you must not have heard me," he frowned, "and I was frustrated so to get them to back off I said I had a girlfriend. I tried looking for you during lunch period but I couldn't find you. Then I heard what those girls did. I’m sorry I put that target on you. I was going to try looking for you again but then the bell rang. This spot after school was my last hope. Well for now anyway, until I got my phone charged.” He rushed out, praying you would forgive him. 
“That’s what they were talking about...” 
“What were they saying? If you don’t mind talking about it.” Gingerly he laid his hand on yours, holding it.
During his speech you had unconsciously torn your walls down yet again. You heard the sincerity in his voice and saw the concern in his eyes. This was real. He did care. Fuck. Somewhere between last night and this morning you had developed feelings, you just hadn't wanted to believe you weren't immune to his charms. Why did it have to be him. You swallowed, “They basically said I was worthless and wasn’t pretty enough for you. They also shoved me against my locker and onto the floor.” Taking a deep breath you revealed the most humiliating part of the whole thing, “Their leader dumped juice on me.” You looked away not wanting him to see the tears starting to run down your cheeks and you didn't want to see the pity you were sure to receive in his eyes. 
“Hey.” He gently turned your face with a palm on each cheek. Wiping your tears away with his thumbs. “You are not worthless. And those girls are just jealous because your the most beautiful girl at Seijoh. I’m sorry they said and did those things to you. It was my fault and I want to make it up to you if you’ll let me.”
You searched his face, surely he was lying to make you feel better? But you only found the truth in his warm brown eyes. Oikawa may be an ass but he does not lie. “Okay...Tooru.” 
His heart fluttered when you spoke his name. Little did he know that yours did too when he asked you to call him that.
“Come on, lets go.” He smiled pulling you up. “I got something you can change into so you don’t have to wear that home.” He pointed to your ruined shirt.
You and him walked over to the gym. He had never let your hand go from pulling you up and you didn’t mind. You halted at the entry way dropping his hand. He was going to lead you in but, “Tooru, I can't. Only players and managers can go in the gym during practice time.”
He snorted, “Iwa-chan made that rule so the uh” he coughed, “students wouldn't bother us.” Taking your hand he pulled you in after him. 
Your face was blushing like mad from the looks you were getting from his teammates. Nobody questioned their captain though. 
“Please wait here while I change and grab you something.” He left you at the bleachers. 
Iwaizumi walked over to where you were sitting. Before he could say anything you spoke. “I’m sorry. I know I’m not allowed in here but he drug me in and said he was going to get me something to change into." You plucked at your still sticky shirt. "I-I'll leave when Tooru comes back.” You found it easy for Tooru's name to roll of your tongue. 
The usually intimidating looking ace smirked and raised an eyebrow, “Tooru, huh? We don't let students in during practice because they follow Oikawa in. He brought you in here. So you can stay if you want.”
You let out a surprised, “Oh.” 
“You know he couldn't stop talking about you on the way to school this morning? About how he saw this and I quote ‘breathtakingly beautiful’ photo of you on instagram. He kept talking about your hair with cherry blossom petals in it and your shy smile.” 
Your face was on fire. You knew the exact photo he was talking about. How far back did he scroll, it was buried under a ton of pictures.
“He was also worried about you the rest of the day after lunch. He was pretty upset, he even threatened to cancel practice if he didn’t find you on your bench.”
“Iwa-channnn!” Oikawa whined. “Friends keep secrets.” He didn’t look mad but his face was a light shade of pink. Was he...embarrassed?
“Ew. I’m not your friend Shittykawa.” Iwaizumi replied walking away. You laughed quietly, his tone said otherwise.
Except it wasn't just any shirt, it was his jersey. “I can’t wear this! Only couples do that!”
“You're right! You're my best friend!” Tooru called back.
He was met with a middle finger and a "Shut it, Tooru."
 “Anyways here. You can change in the girls locker room over there.” He handed you one of his shirts and pointed to the room.
He shrugged his shoulders. “Well I did inadvertently call you my girlfriend. You wouldn't want to make me a liar now would you Y/l/n-chan?” He pouted.
“N-no, but I'm not your girlfriend?” You remembered the things Iwaizumi told you, your face deepening to a scarlet shade.
He took a step closer. You could smell his scent. He smelled like oranges, cloves and...clean sweat? Of course he could make sweat smell intoxicating. It was making your brain hazy. You almost missed what he said. “Do you? Want to be I mean.” The look he was giving you was so genuine and...sweet.
This was too much too fast, but your mouth and heart didn't care apparently what you thought. “I-.” You breathed. “Yes.”
His face lit up, taking one of your hands into his. “We’ll talk more after practice, yeah?” 
All you could do is nod. Squeezing your hand as he left to go start practice you went to go change your shirt. It was long on you. Almost falling to the same spot your uniform skirt stopped. You rolled it up a little and tucked it in. That was better.
After changing you returned to your spot on the bleachers. You'd been to games before. It was practically an unsaid rule that all students were required to go. But you really never paid attention, usually doing anything but watching to kill time.
This time you paid attention. Tooru was remarkable. You could see why he was captain and how he got the nickname 'the great king'. You were so entrapped by the teams flow you didn't notice the hours fly by.
Tooru came back over to you, asking somewhat nervously, "So what did you think?" He didn't know why it felt so important to get praise from you. He just knew he wanted you to be proud of him.
Your smile was open and you had stars in your eyes, "You were amazing!" Dipping your toe at being flirty, you winked, "l'll have to pay better attention at the next game."
His heart leapt. You said he was amazing. "Thank you, that means so much coming from you." The second part finally clicked, "Hey wait! What do you mean you'll have to pay better attention at the next game?" He teased.
Sheepishly, "I never uh...actively watched a game before."
"That hurts Y/l/n-chan. Just you wait until the next game." He smiled, "So can I walk you home? It's late and you shouldn't walk by yourself."
"Sure. I don't live far though." You returned his smile.
After he went and changed out of his practice clothes he outstretched his hand for you to take, interlacing your fingers with his. When you got to the gates he asked which way. You pulled him to the left. You curious about earlier.
"So about what Iwaizumi said..." You left the question hanging in the air.
"He was telling the truth." He said it so simply, like he just didn't turn your world upside-down.
"Oh." Was all you could manage with all the butterflies in your stomach. Before you knew it you were in front of your house. "This is me." You turned to face him.
"Really? Iwa-chan and I live one street over."
"You're joking." He had to be. 
"Nope, cross my heart." More seriously "Do you want to walk to school with us maybe?"
"I'd like that, Tooru." Shyly you peeked up at him through your lashes.
"Hey, I noticed before." He traced a thumb over your cheekbone, brushing against your fluttering eyelashes. "Your eyes look different some how?"
You let out a small chuckle, "Eye lash extensions. That's what I was helping my sister with last night. She's in a cosmetology class."
He leaned down, getting very close. "They suit you Y/l/n-chan."
Clearing your throat. "Um, thanks." A beat later, "Call me Y/n."
His eyes softened. "Can I kiss you, Y/n?"
Your breath caught. "Y-yes."
He closed the distance between the two of you. Your eyes shutting and heart thumping wildly with anticipation.
You did not expect the feather light touch of his lips ghosting over yours. You did not expect such a tender kiss from the popular setter captain.
At first your lips only brushed against each others. Testing. Until you couldn't stand it any longer. He had lit a fire inside. You leaned in closer, needing more. Pressing your lips against his and moving one hand onto the back of his neck and the other onto his shoulder pulling him closer. He took this queue to hold your waist. As you kissed time stood still. You couldn't tell if the fire inside was tearing you apart or if he was holding you together. There was just you and him, the world had long ago faded away.
He was surprised you took control of the kiss but was glad you did. He didn't want to push you after everything you'd been through. And honestly he could barely think straight. Could barely breathe. Your lips were so soft and they tasted like honey. He didn't want it to end, he would have happily drowned surrounded by air if it meant he could kiss you.
But you pulled away breathless and eyes bright. You leaned into the comfort of his arms.
 That was your first kiss.
"I'll be waiting here tomorrow Y/n." He pressed his lips to the crown of your head.
"Alright." You looked up at him. "Message me when you get home 'kay?"
"Will do, my queen." The name sent tingles down your spine. Once again putting his lips to yours. "Good night."
"'Night Tooru." You slipped out of his embrace and before you made your way inside, you gave him one last wave goodbye. Dazed you shut the door behind you with your back and brought your fingers to your smiling lips.
"'Friends' huh? Lot different in my day." Your sister said from the couch, her eyes catching on his jersey.
Still grinning like a fool, "Shut up." You headed upstairs to start on your homework. About ten minutes later you received a text. Smiling you opened it.
Made it home safe and sound. And now I'm going to sleep so I can dream of you 😘
Who knew 'the great king' was such a goofball.
Sweet dreams then, goofball
They will be because you'll be in them ❤
Rude, my queen, rude
Good night Tooru ❤
But that’s why you like me 
Rolling your eyes, you grinned.
The next morning he was right where he said he would be. Waiting for you. Iwaizumi with him of course. “Morning Iwaizumi.”
“Good morning Y/l/n.” Iwaizumi greeted.
 You said taking your boyfriends hand. “Morning Tooru.” You were feeling confident this morning so you tugged him down a little so you could reach his face, pecking him on the lips.
His eyes widened. He definitely didn't expect that, not that he was complaining. “G-good morning Y/n.” A rosy hue dusting his cheeks.
You giggled at his reaction. 
“I guess the right girl turns you into a flustered mess.” Iwaizumi joked.
"I make you a flustered mess huh? I wouldn’t mind taking advantage of that.” You nudged him playfully as you all started to make your way to school.
“No fair. I won’t allow you and Iwa ganging up on me!” He tilted his head towards your ear, whispering for only you to hear. “Besides, my queen, I give as good as I get.”
You choked. And he didn't miss the red on your face. Oh boy. If he kept up with that name you were going to become a puddle. Clearing your throat awkwardly, “Ah look, we’re here!”
Unfortunately you were met with his swarm of ‘fans’. At the head of it all were the bitches that made you feel like shit. Tooru felt you hesitate and gave your hand a reassuring squeeze and looked at you with such adoration in his eyes. That was all you needed. You were going to show these girls you weren’t afraid of them. You hoped he wouldn't mind your sudden boldness.
Turning towards him and standing on your tippy toes you grabbed the back of his neck and crashed your lips against his. This kiss was much deeper than the one you shared last night. You'd even go so far to say passionate. Last night was tentative, figuring each other out. This kiss you poured in all your feelings, all of your heart and soul. Pulling away slightly, resting your forehead against his and playing with the hair near where your hand rested on his neck, “Um, sorry if that was too much.”
You turned to face the mostly shocked crowd. The only angry one was the leader girl. Remembering what she said yesterday, “I’m his.” He wasn’t some possession to own. But you were free to give your heart to him, if he wanted it. Really you didn’t expect him to say anything during this exchange but he did. 
God, you were perfect he thought. With a stupid smile on his face, “N-no don’t be sorry. Not at all.” 
It made your heart catch in your throat.
“And I’m hers.” The girls mouth dropped open. “Come on. Let’s go, my queen.” he said pressing his lips to your knuckles, sending a shiver up your back.
“Tooru!” You squeaked. That damn pet name. You knew no matter how many times he said it, it would still make you weak in the knees and make your heart leap. And he fucking knew it. You walked hand in hand to your spot under the cherry tree. “Don’t call me that when a bunch of people are around...”
“Why not? It’s true. And you like it.” He gave you a cheeky look. “Besides that passionate kiss you gave me was pretty public.”
A blush creeping up your neck, “I-shut up.”
Chuckling he brought you into a hug, “Whatever you wish, my queen.”
Epilogue 
As the months passed you and Tooru grew closer together and his ‘fan club’ realized you weren't going anywhere. Sure some still tried to bring you down but over the months you had gained some confidence in yourself. You weren't as insecure but when you fell Tooru was there to help you pick yourself back up. You had also become good friends with the volleyball guys, especially Iwa. You had a special bond over teasing your boyfriend. Even though you both teased him relentlessly he was happy two of his favorite people got along so well. In fact he had asked if you had wanted to officially become a manager. You practically were now anyway he said so why not make it official. Of course you agreed. 
It was only your third game as a manager when they lost to Karasuno. You knew how bad he wanted to go to nationals. It was his dream and this was his last chance. He was sitting on the floor outside the gym, head hung low in devastation. You knew words were not what he wanted to hear right now. He just needed you to be there for him. You sat down next to him, waiting. He gently pulled you onto his lap, burying his head in the crook of your shoulder. Holding you closely. He was silent but you felt his warm tears fall on your skin. You held him and hummed a slow melody quietly in his ear. After awhile he kissed your temple.
“Thank you.” He whispered. He was ready talk.
“I’m here for you, always. You’re my king, win or lose. And I am so so proud of you.” A small smile lifted one side of his mouth.
 You were going to tell him something important today. No matter what happened. Maybe he needed to hear it especially because of what happened. You took a deep breath and kissed his forehead briefly. One hand on his cheek and looking into his still tear stained eyes. 
“I know the world has greater things than nationals waiting for you. You may not feel like it now but believe me when I say it. You are so much more than what you think you are and....and that’s why I love you, Tooru.”
He searched your face looking for pity or disappointment but all he found was love. For weeks those three words had been just under the surface, waiting to be spoken into existence, always on the tip of his tongue at the end of every conversation with you or even when he would see you do small simple things. Hearing the love in your voice and the feeling of you mend his shattered heart about nationals they finally broke free.
 “I love you too, Y/n.”
He might have been your first kiss but you were his first love and he wanted you to be his last.
He gently ran his thumb against your bottom lip.
And he kissed you with everything he had, like it would be his last.
But.
There was many more to come...
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ma-gic-gay · 3 years
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Several hours, tears, and hugs later, the assassin leaves the Metro Court for his apartment.
Planning on staying in and unpacking more of his stuff, he walks over to his car before hearing gunshots behind him. Fumbling around him for his gun, he realizes that he doesn't have it on him. Dammit. Where the hell is it? Guns, don't leave the house without them if you're a paid assassin. Then again, he probably forgot it in his haste to go today when he'd been warned that Carly was probably gonna start a fight. At the time, it seemed like the best thing to do. Probably was, considering that by the time he showed up, there was a good chance it was going in that direction of a fist fight. Or at least a few (probably deserved, though he'd never say it) good slaps.
So he's without a gun while there's someone shooting like wild. Probably intended for him by either one of Sonny or Cyrus's guys, he doesn't know which. Sonny definitely wants him dead, but he's not stupid enough to do it here and definitely not now. Cyrus on the other hand made a threat to his life just a few weeks ago, so it's not entirely unrealistic that he'd try it now.
This is pretty much his nightmare, except his family isn't in harm's way. At least there's that. Though, if he dies, there's no one to protect them. Not even his boss with the way his life's currently going.
Trying his best not to get shot, as one does on a random Thursday, he gets in the car quickly, hoping he can manage to not get shot or worse, die. He's got no time to be kept cooped up in a hospital. Or die. Dying takes too much time and effort; he can't expend any energy on it. Currently, all his energy is going towards not getting killed. So death would be counterintuitive.
Why didn't he install bulletproof glass? Dammit, that could save his ass right now. He'd thought it would look slightly suspicious if he went to a garage looking for bulletproof glass, considering everyone's perception of him that was only like 30% true.
Well, he's hoping that today won't be the day he dies.
Sighing and trying to shake these thoughts out of his head, he drives, doing his best to stay very far away from the gunshots. After all, a stray gunshot and he's, well, dead.
Why isn't there a gun in this car? Probably the kids, doesn't want them to accidentally fire it at each other or something else he can only imagine kids do. After all, he can't remember any part of his childhood.
God, he's unprepared to be caught in a situation like this. He's got to fix that and get more prepared.
Distracted, he accidentally takes a wrong turn in the parking garage towards the bullets. Fuck! He can't get shot, we've established this. Hurriedly, he attempts to make a u-turn but doesn't succeed because of a sudden bullet... Somewhere, he's in too much pain to fully figure it out.
Fuck. He's been shot. As he slowly loses consciousness, he calls 911. "911, what is your emergency?"
"I've been shot. I'm in the Metro Court parking garage, near exit G," he says, hoping the operator heard him.
"Alright. Hang on sir, we have an ambulance on the way. It should arrive in a minute. Can you tell me your name, someone we should call?"
"Jason Morgan."
"Mr. Morgan, would you like me to call Ms. McCall for you?" The operator asks, trying to keep him conscious.
"No, that wouldn't do any good for either of us," he tells her, hearing sirens in the distance faintly. "I think the shooter is probably still after me but I didn't get a good look at him."
"You just worry about staying awake, alright?"
"You ever been shot? It kinda hurts," he complains uncharacteristically. The only person who he can think of who wouldn't be surprised by that is Carly and that's because she'd be too busy yelling at him.
"My apologies sir," the operator starts as he groans in pain.
"Just call me Jason, everyone does. Sir is too formal, makes me feel like for some reason I'm a geography teacher," he says, attempting to distract himself from the pain by simply focusing on the sirens which are almost to his location.
"My apologies, Jason. The ambulance is there and should be loading you into it momentarily. Please do your best to remain conscious," she advises, hanging up the line.
When did 911 operators get to start hanging up on people? That's just weird, he thinks, focusing on everything but the pain of, you know, getting shot and the strong urge to close his eyes, even if it's just for a moment. God knows what'll happen then and he honestly isn't ready for any of that seriousness. He's barely ready to get in an ambulance, forget about dying.
Probably speaks to some form of deeper commitment issues, he thinks, trying to psychology himself. He's that desperate for something to think of. Should probably get a hobby, maybe painting. Nah, he doesn't have the patience for that. Fishing, no.
Getting a hobby is hard this far in life, okay?
Lucky for him, the paramedics locate him and get him out of the car and onto a stretcher. The world's blurring around him slightly but he refuses to close his eyes until he's told, "You can close your eyes now, you'll be okay," by a paramedic. He doesn't recognize that one, must be a new hire. Then again, it's been a while since he's been in the back of an ambulance.
And by a while, he means August. A helmet was thrown at him when Carly had visited him, in true her fashion. Sam and him were also finally allowed to be a public couple that day, only 5 months ago.
Shit hit the fan pretty damn quick after that day. Wiley got kidnapped, Dustin and Dev died, Lulu was stuck in a coma, and now... Today.
Finally closing his eyes, he can hear the heels of someone on the pavement. "Who the hell is on that stretcher?" The voice asks and he notices it's Olivia. Better than Carly but only by maybe two tenths of a percentage.
"Ma'am, I can't tell you that," the paramedic informs her.
"I own this establishment, if someone got shot I have a right to- Oh my god. Please tell me that's not Jason Morgan," Olivia says, putting her hands over her mouth.
"Regretfully, I cannot tell you that," the paramedic says, finishing loading him up and closing the door behind him. "We're going to GH, so if you're close to him, feel free to come on your own."
That's all he hears before the world goes black and he's pretty sure he passes out.
its fIne-
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