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#i knew a person who was clearly at the verge of a burnout and she had a 20 hr contract but worked 34 hours per week
transrightsjimin · 4 years
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jfc i have so much work tomorrow this isnt funny
#if only like. mail delivery was a job that got paid accordingly#like yes it is minimum wage but the minimum wage is based on a 40 hr contract#u cant do mail delivery 40 hrs!!!#they only count the time in which you actually walk / cycle through the route and deliver mail#so even if youre busy for like 7 or 8 hrs you just get paid for the route itself and not cycling back and forth and loading bags at work#so it rly doesnt feel rewarding nd its super exhaustive#i knew a person who was clearly at the verge of a burnout and she had a 20 hr contract but worked 34 hours per week#which of c is way longer irl bc they only count the routes#she was so overworked and started early but was done super late so that she couldnt even make it to a meeting of (a bad) union#like daily life would rly probably improve a lot for me when i have a stable job nd some structure#and oh my god i normally hare vacations bc i get so bored nd depressed yet stressed in them#but what if i for one time truly have a proper break where i dont need to stress abt family and work and homework (bc im a graduate)#just SUCKS that i hate everything abt working#ppl r like oh but ur so smart!!! :(#first of all im not that smart#like i guess im intelligent but i also dont remember anything that i learned in primary - high school - college - uni#just nothing. nd i dont read ever bc im fucking stupid nd have no concentration and hate doing stuff that takes a lot of focus#i hate reading i hate cooking i hate learning stuff im not interested in#nd im a rly slow learner w practical stuff which is not exactly a good trait w jobs#i cant focus i cant remember stuff i hate work i hate having to deal w colleagues but im also a very dependent person#IF ONLY i got help w a job coach sooner but no i have to wait until december for an APPOINTMENT where they#evaluate how much i can truly work bc i stated i can work 'only' 32 hrs so instancies feel the need to check if thats true#nd im just so fucking stressed#my housemate now has a job so we'll soon lose our rights to welfare benefits#i need to work but im so bad at lying#i feel so useless nd also bad for consistemtly crying abt this to my friend#i DONT KNOW WHAT WORK I COULD DO OR HANDLE#rambles
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mammoneymelon · 3 years
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How the brothers would react to finding out that MC is autistic
before anyone says anything, i’m autistic and just really want some representation
TW for ableism! the boys are doing their best but no NT immediately knows everything about autism
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it’s a bit random, but i headcanon that lucifer has misophonia, so it’s only a matter of time before a noisy/verbal stim starts to drive him up a wall
“what in the devildom are you doing?” he’d ask, eyebrows scrunched in frustration
you have no idea what he’s talking about; after all, you’ve just been sitting on your DDD playing some rhythm game
“what do you mean?”
“you’ve been making that noise for hours; cut it out before i have to go find the packing tape.”
you know him well enough to know he isn’t joking, so you nod and do your best to stop, ignoring the feeling of dread beginning to well up in your chest
you go back to your game, and soon enough, you’re back to ‘making that noise’
you see lucifer stand up, bringing your action to your attention.
“oh, sorry! i didn’t realize i was doing it again, sorry!”
“oh?” he asked, looking down at you. 
“it’s stimming. autistic people do it a lot more than others, and sometimes we don’t even notice it.” there’s a moment of silence but you realize you just told him something you hadn’t even told your human friends
“ah, yes, i do remember reading about that in your file. i didn’t want to say anything so as not to offend you.”
you shake your head. “dude! that’s personal business! i don’t like telling people.”
lucifer’s gaze seems to soften. “don’t fret, MC. i won’t tell a soul.”
and he doesn’t.
he also totally buys you quiet stim toys
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it’s not long before mammon realizes you are terrible at reading the room
you have a terrible habit of cracking a joke at the worst time or saying the first thing that comes to your mind, even if it was at the expense of others
at first, mammon, mammon thought you were really brave. now, however, he sees that you just have no idea what you’re doing
currently, your knack for trouble had landed you in detention, something you’d gotten fairly used to in the human world. mammon was sitting next to you - he was paying for trying to defend you
“lucifer’s going to kill us. again.”
“and whose fault is that?”
“sorry,” you mumble. “it’s not like i was trying to get us here.”
“really? because it’s startin’ to seem like you are. not that i blame ya, if i were you i’d do anything to spend more time with the great mammon.” he gives you a smile, and you really hope that means he isn’t mad
“i really don’t like upsetting people, i just don’t really get tone? i didn’t even realize the teacher was mad until you stepped in. “
“dude, she was on the verge of killing ya! what do ya mean you “didn’t even realize”?
you pinch the bridge of your nose in frustration. “it’s part of a disorder i have. autism. i just don’t get some stuff that comes naturally to other people.”
“ohhh.” mammon slaps his head, feeling like an idiot. “sorry,” he murmurs, and you barely hear it
mammon, being, well, mammon, will probably forget.
it’s not that he doesn’t care! it’s just not something that comes up in conversation.
of course, when the two of you do talk about it, he picks up on the symptoms pretty quickly. he’s a pretty smart guy, and he’ll do anything and everything for his human
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the two of you are working on a co-op dungeon while you talk about your current special interest
“wow, MC, you know a lot about this!”
“thanks,” you respond, and it hits you - you’ve been infodumping almost this whole time
“haha, yeah, blame it on the autism brain,” you joke absentmindedly, not really caring if he knew. you two were good friends, why would being neurodivergent make a difference?
levi, on the other hand, does a double take. being the gamer he is, he’d definitely heard the word used as an insult, but he’d never thought about anyone actually having autism - much less his best friend
“MC, you have autism?” he turns to you looking genuinely confused, his controller sitting, forgotten, in his lap
“um, yeah? it’s not really a big deal,” you say, shrugging
“yeah it is! i mean i knew you were pretty weird, since you hang out with me-” he stops mid-sentence, realizing his mistake. “NOT IN A BAD WAY, OF COURSE! ah sorry, i said something stupid, like always.”
you shake your head with a small smile. you can tell he’s trying. “trust me, i’ve heard much worse. you’re fine, levi.”
he glances up at you, face red from embarrassment, and your smile widens. “i mean, i don’t think like ‘normal’ people anyway, so yeah, i kinda am weird.”
once you leave his room, he’s at his pc, researching more vigorously that he’s ever done for a class
the more he learns, the more annoyed he gets at the complete misunderstanding of the disorder
ultimately, he just wants to make sure you feel supported and understood
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you’re sitting in the library, doing your homework while satan looks over your essay, checking for errors
“oi, MC”
“what’s up?” you respond, still focused on your work
“are you scared of me?”
this prompts you to look up, focusing your eyes on his hands
“i was when i first came here, and i definitely would be scared if i really pissed you off, but no, i’m not scared of you. why do you ask?”
“you never look me in the eyes. or my brothers, actually.”
oh. you’d been hoping no one had noticed. “oh, i just don’t like eye contact. it makes me uncomfortable.” you return your eyes to your paper, hoping that was enough.
“how so?” 
so it wasn’t enough.
“i’m autistic, genius. i figured it was obvious by now.”
“oh. that makes sense.” that’s all he says, so you try to return your focus to your homework.
satan is probably the most comfortable talking to you about it. he’ll ask you questions about your personal experiences and make an effort to understand you better
one day you look over his shoulder to find him reading an article on masking on his DDD
he cares deeply for you, even if it’s hard for him to say so
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asmo has wrangled you into yet another shopping trip
“MC, look at this!! you have to try it on!”
one look at the article of clothing and your face is already scrunching up
“absolutely not.”
“awe, why not?” he gives you the biggest puppy eyes and you sigh. he knows your weaknesses.
“the material. i hate it.”
“but it would look so good on you~”
clearly, he’s not going to give up unless you explain yourself to him
“sure, for a couple seconds, until i have a complete meltdown,” you remark. “i’m autistic, so some textures just make me feel really bad.”
his mouth makes an ‘o’ shape, and then he goes back to looking confused. “i hadn’t even thought about that as a possibility! you should’ve said something earlier!”
he feels really bad about all the times he’s touched you without warning. he thought your shock was cute (and he still does), but he knows that autistic people sometimes dislike touch - he’s definitely had at least a couple autistic ‘partners’ in the past
he’s quite the observant demon, quickly picking up on sensations you d and don’t like. if you’re bothered by smells, he does his best to lay off on the perfume - granted, it’s a necessary part of his routine that he absolutely cannot give up completely. he lets you play with the dimmer in his room so you can find the amount of light that works best.
occasionally, he’ll have to tell you that he’s trying his absolute best to flirt and you are giving him nothing. you’re just like “oh shit i didn’t realize”
asmo’s just a sweetheart who wants you to be comfortable
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beel unfortunately has to learn about your autism because of a situation out of your control
you’re in the gym, keeping him company while he works out
you’re searching his bag and you realize you don’t have your headphones
oh fuck.
you always bring your headphones to the gym; the sounds of televisions, music, people talking, weights clinking, treadmills rumbling... it’s too much
not to mention the stench of sweat and the florescent lights - truly an autistic person’s nightmare
you squeeze you eyes shut, but that only makes the noise worse. you’re surrounded by noise and you can’t stop it. it occurs to you that you’re no longer breathing properly but it’s just too loud and you’re so small
“MC?” beel’s voice is soft and filled with obvious concern. you open your eyes, seeing him kneeling in front of you. your eyes sting, and you realize you’re tearing up. “MC, are you alright?” 
all you can do is shake your head
“do you want to go home?” you nod, biting your lip as he stands up, making you feel even smaller.
he quickly packs his things into his bag and offers you a hand, helping you get up
he quickly escorts you outside, where you practically gulp for air. 
he waits patiently with you while you slowly ground yourself. 
“okay, let’s go home.” you explain sensory overload as you walk, then tell him about your autism
beel, like asmo, is very observant and he learns surprisingly fast. 
he’s also very protective of you. if someone triggers you, he won’t hesitate to tell them off before doing a grounding exercise with you
he’s basically you’re giant therapy demon and you love him for it
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it’s becoming way too much. you’ve been masking heavily for months, monitoring your every move while doing your absolute best to thrive in a (literally) completely different universe than what you’re used to
you’re laying facedown on the couch, practically unable to move. you want to go to your room, but your body won’t let you
“mc?” you hear belphegor’s voice. “are you trying to imitate me?” he teases
you simply groan in response, not wanting to bother
for a moment he goes silent. then, you feel a hand on your shoulder
you jolt up, swiping his hand away as you let out a small shout. belphie’s eyes are widened in surprise
“don’t touch me! ...please,” you add as an afterthought, feeling bad for scaring him
he sits with you on the couch, taking care to leave space between the two of you. “what’s wrong?” you don’t respond. “mc?”
“burnout. too much. feel bad.”
belphie has absolutely no clue what that means, but he figures he knows something that might help.
“want to take a nap with me?”
you have to think about it before responding with a “sure” and slowly crawling into his arms (if that’s something you’re okay with)
it’s night when the two of you wake up. you still feel awful, but you can at least cope better.
once belphie’s more awake, he asks you what the hell happened
“two words: autistic shutdown”
“that doesn’t explain anything” - belphie really doesn’t know anything about humans
you do your best to explain - you were born with a brain that works a bit differently than most humans. some of the symptoms are an aversion to change and ‘odd’ behavior that’s difficult to hide. when you get too stressed, you just kinda ‘shut down’
he takes a bit to really understand, but once he does, he does his best to support you.
he falls asleep to your infodumping and you find it endearing
he gets good at recognizing when you’re starting to shut down and he always convinces you to take a break via a cuddly nap
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