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slayfics · 2 months

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Explosive Tendencies a slow burn fan fiction about the readers developing relationship with Katsuki Bakugo.

Chapter Twenty: Planning for the School Festival.

Chapter links

After Mina dragged you out of Katsuki's room and forced you into what she called "girl's study night" a screaming match ensued between you and her.

She insisted you explain why you went "crawling back" to Katsuki when he didn't even apologize.

You kept telling her that's not how things happened, but she wasn't satisfied. To be fair you weren't giving her the whole story. But- how could you?

Katsuki had come to you confidently to vent about the guilt he had been carrying around due to All Might losing his power. Katsuki assumed it was all his fault for getting kidnapped and had been carrying that weight around all this time.

You weren't about to break his trust and out his vulnerability to all the girls in the class.

Why couldn't Mina just trust you had a good reason to be friends with him again?

"Listen, I get you have a big crush on him but- that doesn't make it ok for you to let him treat you like garbage!" Mina yelled. You felt your face become hot as the rest of the girl's mouths had dropped open. What happened to Mina waiting for you to be ready to say that? This fight was really all it took for her to expose you in front of the rest of the girls? You felt your hands begin to shake with anger.

"I don't know why you're so invested in this Ashido! Is it because you're jealous?! You're the one who's been obsessed with who likes who and going around saying you want to fall in love someday! Why do you even care what I do? It doesn't concern you!" You yelled

Mina stood stunned by your words for a moment before defeatedly exclaiming, "You're right- it doesn't concern me," and walking away.

You two hadn't talked since.

She kept her distance from you in classes and training, and in the common room you could feel her staring daggers at you any time you were near Katsuki.

You tried to brush it off and stay focused on your work, but it became increasingly annoying to feel her negative energy around you every day.

The next day in class Aizawa announced that the School Festival would be occurring as it does every year, and your class needed to choose an event to put on.

The class erupted with ideas and arguments about ideas that never reached a conclusion. Aizawa had told your class that if you didn't have an idea by morning you would be going with his idea of a public lecture.

After class, almost everyone hung around in the common room to discuss ideas. Katsuki walked past everyone discussing and said he was going to sleep.

You looked around and made eye contact with Mina who was giving you a nasty glare. You let out a sigh and followed after Katsuki.

"Tch- following me?" he asked as you stepped into the elevator with him.

"I'm not trying to stay down here with Ashido giving me side eye all night. Besides you heard them in class. They didn't care for our ideas anyway," You responded as Katsuki pressed the elevator button to the fourth floor.

Katsuki grunted in agreement. "Whatever they choose is going to be lame as hell anyway, and I don't give a fuck. I've got enough to deal with from the supplement classes for the provisional license," he said as you both made your way into his dorm.

He sat on his bed, and you sat on his rolling chair.

"How have those been anyway?" You asked, trying to keep the worry out of your voice. You knew it had to be a lot, juggling those classes on top of everything else in the hero courses at U.A.

"I'm fine- you don't need to ask," Katsuki said then looked away from you glaring at the floor as he contemplated. " You and Raccoon Eyes still haven't talked since that day?" he asked.

Katsuki wasn't dumb, he knew Mina was upset at you because from her perspective it looked like he had ignored you for three days then seemingly came back with no explanation. He knew you didn't tell Mina the truth- how he had cried like a damn baby to you that night shortly after his fight with Deku. He was grateful you didn't- but also felt guilty for putting a wedge in your friendship with Mina.

"No," you answered. "But I don't give a damn, she's just an extra anyway, right?" You teased.

Katsuki let out an amused huff. He knew you were lying. Of course, you cared. He noticed Mina was the only other person in the class you had gotten close to besides him and Eijiro.

"Yeah," he said still staring at the floor. If he could have, he would have thanked you for keeping his privacy and he would have apologized for rupturing your friendship, but... he just couldn't. So instead- "You want to get working on one of the dumb assignments we have due soon?"

"Yeah," You smiled at him excited for the invitation to work with him.

Katsuki glanced at your smile before making his way to grab his study materials. You were always so happy to be around him even when he knew he had to be a miserable company. It didn't make sense to him- but... he didn't hate it.

You two worked on your assignment until Katsuki declared it was getting too late. You looked at your phone and rolled your eyes.

"Still on grandpa time, huh?" you teased.

"Hey! I have a good sleep schedule and I need it with all this extra work alright!" He barked.

"I know I know- I'm just messing with you," you said and began to pack up your study supplies.

Katsuki eyed you putting your stuff away for a moment and then laid down on his bed stretching out.

You swung your backpack on your back, "Get some rest then Grandpa," you said playfully at him.

"Hm?" He said eyeing you. "You- don't have to leave," he said.

You froze and stared at him, returning his gaze. He was asking you to stay?

You dropped your backpack and sat back down on his rolling chair eyeing him curiously.

"You comfortable over there?" He asked.

"Uh-," You mumbled unsure of how to answer. You were unsure what he was trying to get at?

"You fell asleep over here before brat- you can make yourself more comfortable," he said in response to your quizzical look.

You felt your breath catch in your throat. Was he asking you to join him on the bed?

You moved slowly as you sat on the bed awkwardly.

Katsuki scoffed, "So- what stupid event do you think those extras are going to choose?"

"No idea- but if they choose Kaminari's maid cafe, I will be murdering someone," You responded laughing.

"Hm- too bad you wouldn't look bad in a maid outfit," Katsuki said laughing.

A bright blush illuminated your face.

"Oh shit- relax I'm just kidding, no need to turn into a damn tomato," he said laughing again.

You tried to brush off your reaction and turned away to hide your face. "Hey- you sure you want me in here much longer?" You asked.

"The hell do you mean? Would have told you to get the fuck out if I didn't," Katsuki said.

"It's just- I don't know- I'm sure you heard."

"Heard what?" He asked.

"Some of those rumors that spread around when Ashido pulled that stunt and dragged me out of your room when I tried to hide from her in the restroom," You explained After that night when the boys had seen your fight with Ashido, someone had run with some assumptions of why you were hiding in Katsuki's room.

"Oh," Katsuki exclaimed now understanding. "Look you can go if you want. Those extras are nosy as hell and need to mind their damn business. But- I don't give a damn about what any of them have to say so-," Katsuki said.

He was never good at words, so he couldn't just simply say he liked your company and didn't want you to leave. Especially now that you brought up those rumors he heard. He didn't want to feel like he was forcing you to stay.

"Just go if you're uncomfortable," He concluded.

"No! I- I don't care either... I just- whatever it doesn't matter," you said deciding to leave the conversation alone.

To Katsuki's surprise, you laid down next to him, "Ok- so who had the worst idea of an event?" You asked.

Katsuki let out an amused laugh, "Iida, who the fuck would come to a history lesson?!"

You laughed at his response, and the two of you talked until you had both dosed off into sleep.

Tags: @anon-mouse223 @unofficialmuilover @maddietries @sikuthealien @queenpiranhadon @melrs21 @poemzcheng @kazuumii @bakunianadecorazon @ur-crusty-uncle @reads-stuff-quietly @chixkadee @perfectsukii @faetoraa @fem-weeb @nagicats @lees-chaotic-brain @maelibo

Just wanted to thank you all for reading and update you that there are 4 more chapters left!

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forever-rogue · 1 year

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Ok so I don’t know if your requests are open, but I’m going to drop one in case… 😅

A Joel Miller x Reader story where Joel and Ellie arrive to Jackson. Could it be a moment like where Ellie saw *possibly* Dina? They could make eye contact and maybe he’s interested in her and wants to know more? Something along those lines hehe.. You can totally add more whether it be spicy or fluff! :)

AN | Please this is just the softest idea. Plus - wing woman Ellie! 🥰

Pairing | Joel Miller x Fem!Reader

Warnings | Language

Word Count | 2.6k

Masterlist | Joel, Main

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It happened so fast that he almost didn’t realize that anything had happened.

He was trying to listen to Maria, really he was, but he found himself zoning out more than he wanted to. Admittedly it was a lot to take in all at once and he wasn’t sure what to think or where to look anymore. He hoped that Ellie would be able to catch him up later although he had his doubts; she seemed just as distracted. Well then - maybe things would be easy to pick up on.

But then it happened. He heard something about communes and vegetable gardens but when he looked ahead, time seemed to slow down and the voices around him were muffled and distant.

He saw you. It happened so fast that he must have imagined it. You caught his eye and offered him a sweet smile but as soon as he blinked, you were gone.

It must have been his imagination playing tricks on him. He was tired and in desperate need of a shower and nap; surely you were nothing more than a mirage.

“Joel?” he snapped back into attention, finding Tommy, Maria, and Ellie all watching him curiously. His young charge raised an eyebrow, "everything okay?"

"Fine," he huffed indignantly, waving her off before the group continued to walk on. Maria was in front, back to explaining everything in detail as he and Ellie fell behind. She nudged his arm, silently conveying her question to him. They'd gotten to the point where they could easily communicate without words, "just a moment of distraction. Nothin' to worry about."

"I can find out what her name is," Joel almost stopped in his tracks at her sudden comment. This girl was way too observant - it was a blessing and a curse. His felt his entire being flush with warmth as he opened and closed his mouth wordlessly, "you're even prettier when you blush!"

"I'm not - I'm not blushing," he hissed but he knew he was. His face felt like it was on fire, "Ellie."

"Fine," she held up her hands innocently putting on a sweet smile in an attempt to get him off her scent. She had a plan - she was already plotting on how to get the two of you to meet, "I won't say or do anything. I'll be quiet as a church mouse or whatever that old saying is."

"Good," despite his hesitation and suspicions, he put his arm around her shoulder and pulled her in for a hug, "good."

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Ellie Williams was a liar. A damned, dirty liar. But it was all out of affection and care for the man that had become her father figure.

He took good care of her and was always looking out for her best interests so for once she was going to return the favor. The man had been through a lot. He deserved some happiness too.

But she had to work smart and be subtle, otherwise her plan would explode in her face.

The first step? Naturally, she had to find you and get your name. It should have been simple…but of course it wasn't.

Jackson wasn't small but it wasn't that big either. There were more people in the community than she had bargained for and finding you again seemed an entirely impossible challenge. She'd managed a few fleeting glances at you and that was all she had to go.

After a few days of looking she'd almost given up hope.

Until she saw you tending to a flock of loudly bawking chickens. Bingo.

She pretended to be fascinated by the chickens…although honestly she was amused by them, and came over to you.

"Look at all those chickens!" Despite her initial thought that she would remain calm and calculated, her excitement got the better of her.

"Look at all those chickens," you agreed as you smiled at her. It took her a moment to realize you were standing there and watching her until she made a small sound of acknowledgement.

"I'm Ellie," she could hear Joel in the back of her mind telling her to find her manners, "we just moved here."

"It's nice to officially meet you, Ellie," you offered her your name and held out your hand for her to shake, "welcome to Jackson."

"Thanks," she shook your hand gently and you could feel her watching you in the way that kids often did when they were trying to glean everything about you, "it's nice being here."

"It's always nice to have new people here," you grabbed a bucket of seed for the chickens and held it out to her, "Tommy's really excited to have his brother back."

"Joel!" she almost shouted as her eyes grew wide with embarrassment, "his name is Joel. He's my…Joel."

You laughed, a sound Ellie decided she liked and that Joel would like. You tossed some seed to the chicken and Ellie followed suit, watching amazed as the chickens started to peck away, "well, if either of you ever need anything or have any questions just let me know. I was new here too once and it can be a little overwhelming."

"Thank you," Ellie knew all about things becoming overwhelming. Everything had changed for her so quickly since she'd met Joel, "are you-"

But she was interrupted by the call of your name from the distance. She silently cursed Chad, or whatever his name was, for interrupting her little plan.

"I gotta go," you offered her an apologetic shrug, "see you around, Ellie! Don't be a stranger!"

Don't be a stranger. Oh, she would make sure of that.

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“I know her name!” Ellie ran into the house, yelling, without even waiting to see if Joel was up. She found him in the kitchen, making breakfast for the two of them, an unreadable expression on his face, “the girl. I know her name.”

“Ellie,” he sighed softly, but there was an affectionate bloom in his chest towards the girl, “I told you not to meddle.”

“You didn’t say that,” she sat down at the table and helped herself to some of the fresh orange. He gave her that look and she shrugged sheepishly, “not specifically in those words.”

“You’re trouble, kid,” he sighed, affectionate though tired. He was a tired dad, “I’ll entertain you for just a moment. What’s her name then?”

The young girl softly whispered your name and oh. He liked the sound of it. Even from the brief glimpse he caught of you, he thought it suited you perfectly. He repeated it, testing it out on his tongue and deciding that he liked it.

“Now you actually have to talk to her,” she was most pleased as Joel lightly scoffed at her, “you’re in love with her!”

Joel inhaled sharply and almost knocked the pan off the stove as he quickly turned around, “now just what are you talking about?”

“The look,” she shrugged lightly as if to say that it was all so obvious, “you had the look on your face.”

“What look?”

“The look of love at first sight or whatever,” she was now proceeding to shove some freshly baked bread into her mouth, “I’ve seen enough old movies and read enough books to know.”

“Well you must know something I don’t because there was no love at first sight,” right? Right. His hands were on his hips as he sighed at her, “that’s something made up for entertainment.”

“Whatever you say,” she made kissy noises at him and he cursed under his breath, “when you get married you can thank me. Trust me Joel, you had that look on your face."

“I had no look on my face,” this was ridiculous. She was ridiculous, “now eat your breakfast and get ready for school.”

“Joel-”

“Don’t make me ground you,” he waved the spatula at her but both of them had happy looks on their faces. It had been a long time since he had gotten to say those words. He hadn’t realized just how much he’d missed this. Ellie, on the other hand, had never really had someone that loved her as he did, that was a real parental figure. She liked it too, “do you want bacon and eggs and pancakes?”

“Yes please,” the two of them exchanged a look before breaking into soft smiles.

Yeah…this life was turning out to be pretty okay.

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Maybe there was some small part of Joel that hoped that once he had learned your name that he would somehow magically start to run into you in other places. Like that one bit of information would lead to much more.

Well, that couldn’t have been farther from the truth. It was like the universe was somehow trying to keep the two of you apart. Every time he arrived somewhere, you were leaving, or vice versa. Every time he spotted you in a crowd and made his way over, you managed to disappear. It was like a horrible game of cat and mouse.

Maybe he just had to accept that he wasn’t meant to know you. Even if he hated the idea of that.

But - somehow, magically or whatever - the day came when he was finally destined to meet you.

And he couldn’t have been less prepared.

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Joel was tending to his small flock of sheep, trying to clean out the dirt and muck out of their grazing area when he heard you. He was filthy; covered in sweat and dirt and probably smelling of shit. But there you were, pretty face and radiant smile waving happily at him.

But damn if that smile didn’t make him want to melt.

“Joel!” oh. He was in trouble; deep, deep trouble. He tossed his shovel down, swallowing thickly before exchanging a look with Gertrude (his favorite sheep but he’d never admit it, he didn’t want any of the others to get upset). She seemed to know what he was thinking and baa’ed at him before nudging her nose against his leg. He nodded before making his way over to you, trying to keep his walk calm and cool and not like he was overly excited.

“H-hey,” he nearly choked on the singular word as he reached you, separated only by the fence. If he smelled or anything, you didn’t seem to mind, not balking in the slightest when he said your name, “it’s nice to finally meet you.”

“You too,” you held out your hand and the poor man stared at it - so dainty and delicate compared to his - before shaking it. You laughed softly, sensing the nerves rolling off him, but in truth, you were nervous too, “after all this time I finally get to meet the infamous Joel Miller. It felt like the day would never come.”

“Y-you’ve been wanting to meet me?” there was no way; you were like an angel and he was anything but.. How could you have any interest in anything to do with him?

“I have,” you confessed softly, “it seemed like every time I saw and wanted to say hi you were gone in the blink of an eye. I finally just broke down and asked Ellie where you were.”

“Me?” he repeated, pointing at himself and casting a look around as if to make sure you couldn’t possibly be talking about anyone else.

“Yes,” you laughed softly, and the sound went straight to his heart, “who else could I be talking about? Unless one of your sheep is also named Joel. Then I’d like to meet him too - actually I kind of just want to meet your sheep either way. They’re so cute!”

“Yeah?” his brain was so frazzled that somehow any coherent thought he had left seemed to have left his mind. You probably thought he was an idiot but you had some sort of magnetic pull that kept him firmly in your orbit. He didn’t want to leave it - to ever leave your presence.

“Of course,” you thought it was endearing to see how nervous he became. Truthfully, you were just as nervous but managed to hold it together a little more, “listen, I’ve gotta go but do you want to come over for dinner tonight?”

“Dinner…tonight? With you?” alright, he was going to throw himself off a cliff.

“Dinner tonight,” you confirmed, “my house is the one at the end of your straight - with the yellow shutters. See you at six?”

“Six, y-yeah, yes,” he finally gained back some of his confidence, “should I bring anything?”

“Just yourself,” you smiled sweetly, “and Ellie of course, if you’d like to invite her.”

“Sure,” yeah, he’d ask her but part of them hoped she’d say no. He loved her so much, but he really hoped she’d say no this one time, “see you later.”

“See you later, Joel,” and then you did the unthinkable. You leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. You gave him one last little smile before turning around to flounce away, “six o’clock, Miller!”

He felt like he was going to explode as he touched the spot on his cheek that had been blessed by your lips.

Maybe Ellie hadn’t been totally wrong on the love at first sight thing. He was definitely feeling something; something he hadn’t felt in a long time. And he loved it.

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“You met her finally,” Ellie looked most pleased with herself as soon as Joel walked in the door, “you’re welcome.”

“How’d you know?” he couldn’t even pretend to be grumpy as he looked at her in earnest. She shrugged innocently before sliding off her chair and going over to hug him; he warmed up and hugged her back without hesitation.

“Your face,” she stated obviously, “it’s written all over your face. You look happy.”

“I met her,” he confirmed and Ellie squealed in delight. He couldn’t help but match her smile, “and she asked me - us - over for dinner.”

“Oh, you’re totally gonna marry her,” Joel opened and closed his mouth a few times, “but I’ll pass on dinner. I’m going to go over to Dina’s.”

“You knew she was going to ask, didn’t you?”

“Not explicitly,” Ellie shrugged, “but I had a feeling. So….you can go and have your dinner with your love.”

“Ellie,” no malice, all affection.

“You’ll be thanking me for this in a few years,” she insisted, tugging on her sweater and reaching for a backpack, “and I won’t mind if I get a brother or sister then either. Maybe both, who knows!”

“Ellie…” his face was bright red by now.

“Love you!” she threw her arms around him quickly before running towards the door, “see you later - make good choices!”

“Kid…” he watched as she ran out the door and almost slammed it behind her in haste.

He didn’t even know what to say. Maybe nothing needed to be said.

All he knew was that for the first time in a long time, he was looking forward to the future.

One that involved you.

#joel miller #joel miller x reader #joel miller x fem!reader #joel miller x you #joel miller imagine #joel miller one shot #pedro pascal #tlou #tlou hbo

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verimuru · 29 days

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Red on Maroon A 16-page IWTV (2022) fancomic about the vampire Armand and journalist Daniel Molloy visiting the Mark Rothko retrospective in 2024 Paris. Content mentions & warnings: The comic depicts Daniel’s internalized ableism. Rothko’s suicide is acknowledged but not discussed in detail. There’s angst, talk about kink and lots of fluff. Louis is mentioned as well as Daniel’s daughters. Marius is not named but is hinted at. The comic is set up in post-Dubai-interview time and based on my knowledge about s1 of AMC’s IWTV with sprinkles of book canon. Some notes about the comic below:

As with my last comic, I am not a native English speaker, so I hope you keep that in mind when reading <3 trying my best here meow meow

The Rothko retrospective can be visited until 2nd of April of 2024 in Louis Vuitton Foundation. I visited the place in January, so the comic’s surroundings are a mix of memories and some image searches, but in no way fully accurate. Since visiting Paris next week is probably not an option for most people, the foundation has a very cool free app, where you can listen to an audio guide about Rothko and paintings in the exhibition. I mostly used their app as a source for this comic, so in case you want to learn more, go here: https://www.fondationlouisvuitton.fr/en/events/mark-rothko

I listened to a lot of Morton Feldman’s Rothko Chapel -album while making this. So put it in playing in the background if you’re into that sort of thing. Link to the playlist on youtube

Since I am Finnish and I found out that one of LVF’s first exhibition had some Finnish painter’s work, ofc I had to include them… Page 14 has Schjerfbeck’s “Dancing Shoes” and Gallen-Kallela’s “Kullervo Cursing”.

Ok finally some headcanon stuff: in my head, while writing this comic, I imagined Daniel having accepted the dark gift from Armand, but both of them wanting him to live as a human as long as possible to enjoy the benefits of a… mortal body. :’D Since, you know, vampirism is forever anyway, so why not enjoy the variety of bodily fluids, body heat, aches and weirdness of aging? While having a chronic illness is shitty, his life is not, and while his disability marginalizes him, there’s a perspective there, a person living and enjoying things, allowed to take space and feel his thoughts develop from these changes (that also affect over 6 million people around the world with Parkinson’s).

After finishing the comic I am not so sure if Daniel is going to be turned into a vampire after all. So your guesses are as good as mine, would love to hear your suggestions, hehe!

I wish we knew more about Daniel’s daughters! I just came up with something here because I wanted to draw them and wanted to see their dynamics as a family.

I have now read the Devil’s Minion part from Queen of the Damned as a separate short story and appreciate the TV show’s changes to Daniel even more. I can’t wait for S2…..

My sincerest thanks to @anaid-queen for being a test audience, my informant and such a cheerleader the past week <3<3<3

Hope you enjoy xoxo

SORRY I POSTED THE WRONG IMAGE FILES FIRST WAHHH I had to repost ;_;

#armandaniel #verimuru art #iwtv #amc iwtv #iwtv fanart #daniel molloy #armand the vampire #the vampire armand #tvc #old man daniel #daniel x armand #iwtv 2022 #iwtv fancomic #the devils minion #armand #interview with the vampire

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justagalwhowrites · 8 months

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New in Town - Ch. 2: First Date

Joel takes you on an actual date. A continuation of New in Town Ch. 1 found on Tumblr here.

Pairing: Best Friend's Dad!Joel Miller x Female Reader

CW: Smut. Just... all the smut, OK? They fuck. They're fans of that. It's why we love them. Mild violence. No use of Y/N. Age gap (reader is 35 Joel is 47, not a focus of the fic). Minors DNI, 18+ only

Length: 7.9k

AO3 | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

A/N: Hi all!

So yeah, this was originally intended as a one shot but here's the thing... people really liked it? I got a lot of requests for more on Tumblr so y'all are getting more :)

This will be a relatively short series but a series none the less. I hope you enjoy it!

You didn’t have a great reason to be nervous. You felt pretty stupid for feeling nervous, in all honesty, but your stomach was in knots all the same.

You were going on a date. A first date.

A first date with Joel.

Your best friend’s dad.

Who, it seemed, had done nothing but fuck you senseless in the two weeks since you’d met the man.

And that’s all it had been. Fucking. Just ridiculous amounts of fucking. Like it was a miracle that you could walk amounts of fucking.

Not for lack of trying to do other things. Joel had come back the next day with the intent of actually fixing your sink. Which, he did. And then he fucked you on your couch.

You invited him over for dinner to say thank you for fixing the sink but the steaks sat out on your counter while the two of you ripped each other’s clothes off. You’d gone to his house to watch The Room and you’d made it all of five minutes into the movie before the two of you were naked on his living room floor, his cock stretching you open and making you gasp as he filled you.

Finally, he came to your apartment to pick you up to go for drinks and to listen to live music. You opened the door in the short, tight dress you’d picked for going to bars and he damn near growled before he grabbed you and kissed you. You pulled him into your apartment and, before you knew it, you were naked and entwined on your bed.

“Next time, I’m not bein’ a gentleman and comin’ to your door,” he said, panting for breath, your leg still over his hip. “You’re meetin’ me at the damn car. Only way we’re gettin’ out of the damn house is if we make it so I can’t just take your clothes off.”

He was picking you up in five minutes and you’d realized that, since you’d started fucking Joel, you’d hardly spoken to the man. Your mouth was usually otherwise occupied. And so was his, for that matter. Because fuck, that man could do amazing things with his mouth.

So you were nervous. Butterflies in your stomach, pacing your living room, checking your phone every 15 seconds nervous.

Because what if he didn’t like you once he actually talked to you again? Once you were in a place where you couldn’t just get naked and you had to rely on conversation to keep him interested, would he still be interested?

Sure, the night you’d met had felt… Well, unlike anything you’d ever experienced, really. If you had, you wouldn’t be single that was for damn sure. You’d never been able to just talk with someone the way you could with Joel. It had been electric. He was so smart and funny and kind.

The thing that stood out to you most was that he noticed things about people. In a way men - especially men who were the strong, physical type - didn’t really seem to. He was worried about one of the guys on his team at work who’d been having problems at home. He’d noticed that the guy wasn’t laughing the same way he usually did at the joker on the crew.

“I’m so bad at that shit,” he’d taken a sip of beer, shaking his head. “Not like I can talk anyone through marriage troubles. Kid troubles, maybe. But these guys never want to talk about their shit, you know? So busy tryin’ to handle it themselves they fuck their lives up.”

And you’d had so damn much in common. The love for terrible movies and rock music and spicy food. You could have talked to him all night.

You just weren’t sure if he felt the same way.

Your phone dinged in your hand. Because you were so nervous and excited you’d actually taken it off silent for the first time since you’d had the thing.

“Here,” he texted. He was two minutes early. You smiled.

Another ding.

“Very weird not coming to your door. Not a fan.”

You texted back.

“Me either. See you in a sec!”

Joel had planned the whole day, only telling you enough that you knew what to wear and what to bring. Which apparently required a change of clothes.

“Promise you can get changed somewhere I can’t just jump you,” he’d texted. “Going to do my best to keep my hands to myself.”

“That’s a damn shame,” you’d texted back. “I like when you don’t keep your hands to yourself.”

“Fine woman,” he’d replied. “I’ll keep them to myself until the end of the date. Would like to actually get you out in the world at some point. Sound fair?”

“That’s better,” you smiled as you typed it out.

“You drive a hard bargain,” he replied.

“Not the only hard thing I’m interested in.” You’d added a winking emoji to that one.

He texted back immediately.

“Dangerous for me to be distracted by you with hard things while I’m at work so I’m going to stop this before I hurt myself… See you in the morning.”

He’d told you that you needed good walking shoes and something you’d be comfortable moving in for the morning and something that made you feel good for the afternoon and evening. You tried to be smart about it, picking hiking boots with jeans and a t-shirt for the morning and just changing the shoes and the shirt for the rest of the day. Like maybe if you kept your pants on it would keep you from jumping into bed with Joel.

At least right away.

“See, this is why I can’t come get you at your door,” he shook his head as you climbed in the passenger seat of his truck. He was half smiling, his head propped against his hand and you had to fight the urge to kiss his damn dimple.

“Oh really?” You asked, brows raised, as you buckled up. “Why’s that?”

“You got no business looking that damn good in jeans,” he said. “Couldn’t risk getting you behind closed doors right now, we wouldn’t get anywhere.”

You rolled your eyes and smiled, shaking your head.

“You’re insatiable.”

“Just with you,” he winked.

Joel took you to a park in town, grabbing a pack out of the back seat of the truck and leading the way to a trail.

“Said you liked hiking,” he said. “Figured this way you’d have a place you’d know if you wanted to come back. But only if you want.”

He was watching you like he was waiting for you to reject the idea but you just smiled.

“This is perfect hiking weather,” you said, starting on the trail before looking over your shoulder back at him. “You coming?”

“Lead the way, Beautiful,” he smiled. “I’m just enjoying the view.”

The trail was a loop that went out to a lake with a nice overlook. On the way out to it, you told Joel about camping with your Girl Scout troop as a child, how you’d found a sense of peace in nature ever since. Joel told you about camping with his brother, Tommy, as a kid and taking Sarah when she was little.

The trail was quiet - almost shockingly so considering the weather - and the overlook was empty when you got there. Joel picked a spot and sat down, opening his pack and pulling out a few paper bags, bottles of water and bottles of iced coffee.

“Not sure if you’ve come across these yet,” he handed you a bag. “They’re kolaches, these Czech pastry things. Don’t ask me why they’re popular here, couldn’t fuckin’ tell you, but they’re damn good. I’ll trade you flavors if you want, wasn’t sure what you might like…”

“I’m not picky and these look incredible,” you bit into one of the sausage ones. You were right, eyes rolling back in pleasure as you chewed. “Fuck, that’s good…”

Joel smiled, looking a little proud.

“Yeah, Sarah told me you’d be finding the best restaurants in town real quick so I only have a few weeks to impress you with shit like this,” he said, taking a bite of his own roll before he frowned a little. “Not weird if I talk about her, is it? I’ve never…”

“Fucked one of your daughter’s friends?” You finished for him, smirking a little, when he went quiet for a moment.

“I was gonna say dated one but,” he laughed. “Both are true. Generally don’t go for younger women. Believe it or not.”

“It’s not weird if you talk about Sarah. Well, it kind of is, but it would be weirder if you didn’t. We both love her, just in different ways. Pretending she doesn’t exist is just… not the way to go. And I’m not that much younger,” you elbowed him lightly. “Besides… you’re kind of my exact type.”

He looked surprised by that.

“Really?”

“Yup,” you smiled a little and opened the iced coffee, taking a drink. “If I redownloaded my dating apps I could show you my age range preferences and you are right in the sweet spot there, Miller.”

He just looked at you for a second, a crooked smile on his lips. The damn dimple.

“What?” You laughed, taking another drink of coffee. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“You deleted your dating apps?”

You felt your eyes go slightly wide. You hadn’t meant to admit that.

“OK let’s pretend I didn’t just say that, alright?” You winced. “This was going so well…”

“Why would I pretend you didn’t say it?” He frowned a little.

“Because it’s weird,” you looked back out at the lake, needing to look away from him for this conversation. “And I don’t want to put any pressure on you or anything, I really don’t want to make it weird. I just… I’m not trying to get you to be in a relationship or anything, I just didn’t really feel like trying to see anyone else after I met you so I deleted them and…”

“I like it,” he cut you off.

“Yeah?” You smiled a little.

“Yeah.” He leaned in, smiling back. “I like it a lot.”

He kissed you, soft and almost chaste at first, but that didn’t last long. One hand moved to the back of your neck, pulling you close, the other to your waist, sliding down toward the hem of your shirt, seeking out your skin. You moaned into his mouth, a familiar needy ache settling inside you. His tongue dipped into you and you pressed closer to him, trying to put your body against his when someone cleared their throat from behind you.

The two of you jumped apart and you looked back over your shoulder to see a man, a woman and two kids standing there, staring at you. You pressed your lips together and tried not to laugh out of the sheer embarrassment of it all, your face getting hot.

“Morning,” Joel said, clearing his throat a bit.

“C’mon kids,” the woman said, glaring at you. “Quick look at the water, then we keep moving…”

You cleared your throat awkwardly and took a drink of your iced coffee while the family spent a minute at the overlook before the parents started herding their children away.

“Mom, why are leaving so quick?” The little girl asked.

“Because honey,” the woman glanced your way as they headed back down the trail.

The second you couldn’t hear their footsteps anymore, the two of you burst out laughing, you grabbing Joel’s thigh to keep from falling over with it.

“Oh my God!” You gasped for breath, almost crying laughing. “What the actual fuck is our problem? We’re adults! This isn’t what adults do!”

“This is your fault!” He was trying to stop laughing and failing. Miserably.

“My fault? How is it my fault!”

“Those damn jeans,” he kissed the delicate skin behind your ear, making you laugh even harder. “How am I supposed to resist you when you’re lookin’ that good?”

He kissed you again, making you moan for a moment before you pulled back from him.

“I thought you were keeping your hands to yourself until the end of the day?” You nipped his lower lip. “It’s not even noon.”

“Argh,” he groaned, his forehead falling to your shoulder. “You’re right Beautiful, I’ll behave. Or try to, feel like I should get at least some credit for makin’ it this long.”

Joel made you drink an entire bottle of water before you left the lake (“Can’t have you runnin’ on just iced coffee and kolaches, we got three miles back to the truck…”) and he seemed to be OK letting the dating app comment lie. Which worked for you because you were vaguely horrified to actually have that discussion.

Because you had deleted the apps. And you were really hoping you wouldn’t need to download them again. At least, not for a while. You were pretty sure that you were crazy about Joel. Like could fall head over heels for the guy in a way you hadn’t since you were 21 and a stupid college girl kind of crazy about Joel.

But it was so early that it seemed immensely stupid to feel that way about the guy. Even though you felt like you’d known him for years, even though you thought about him all the damn time. You’d still only known him for two weeks.

And if you wanted a relationship - an actual, honest to God relationship - you’d have to reckon with the fact that you’d met him through your best friend, his daughter. This was a conversation you’d need to wait to have, until you had some sense of certainty that what you were risking was worth that risk. There was no way you could actually be that certain after two weeks. Even if you felt like you might be.

There was a small hitch in Joel’s plans for the day, though. The bathrooms at the trailhead were closed and he sighed.

“I promise this ain’t a scheme to get you back to my place and out of your clothes,” he winced a little.

“I can just change in the car,” you winked and patted his chest. His broad, strong chest. Goddammit. “Just keep your eyes on the road while I do.”

You climbed in back and waited for Joel to start driving (“Not getting arrested for indecent exposure at the park because you just climb in the back seat to feel me up, Miller. Now drive.”) before you took your t-shirt off. You may have left your shirt off and only been in your black lace bra for longer than you really needed to, letting your hair down from its loose bun and touching up your makeup before pulling the black, deep v-neck silk top you’d grabbed for the evening from your bag. At a stop light, you felt eyes on you and you looked to the rearview mirror, catching a glimpse of Joel watching you before he quickly looked back at the road. You smirked, tugging the shirt over your head and climbing over the center console and into the passenger seat, kissing Joel on the cheek on the way.

“Told you to keep your eyes on the road, Miller,” you smirked, leaning over the console to wipe your lipstick off his cheek with your thumb.

“You try focusin’ on the road when there’s somethin’ as pretty as you in the car,” he smirked a little. That fucking dimple. “I’m doin’ a damn good job, all things considered. Seat belt.”

You smiled and buckled up.

“Whatever you say, Miller. Whatever you say.”

***

Joel briefly considered making himself come in the restaurant bathroom.

There was no way in hell he was making it to the end of this fucking date, he didn’t know what the fuck he’d been thinking, planning something that was a day long with you. A whole day where you’d be right next to him and he couldn’t properly touch you. That was a stupid thing to do. A damn stupid thing to do.

Because holy shit you were pretty. So fucking pretty. And sexy. So goddamn sexy. So pretty and so sexy that looking at you - knowing just how damn good you felt, knowing he could just have you if you were in his bed or he was in yours - was torture. Fucking torture.

He knew a whole day was a mistake the second he saw you. He should have known before that, too, but sometimes he was a fucking idiot.

Like when he decided to fuck his daughter’s best friend to begin with.

But you looked so damn good just in jeans and a t-shirt - v-neck deep enough that he could see the soft flesh of your breasts as you climbed into the truck - that someone ought to make it illegal. And then walking behind you when the trail narrowed, wanting nothing more than to grab handfuls of your ass and pull you against his aching cock so he could find some damn relief.

As soon as the concept of a date came up though, Joel knew he’d need to start it in the morning, plan a whole day. He didn’t want to stay away from you all day just to only get you for a few hours in the evening, not if he could help it.

And it’s not like he only wanted to fuck you. Not that he didn’t love fucking you. God himself could strike Joel down while he was inside you and he’d die a happy man but he wanted to spend some time actually talking with you. He wanted to know you - desperately, longingly wanted to know you - but doing that when you were there, perfect and tempting, was no easy thing.

Even you changing out of hiking boots and into some cute, girlie shoe was somehow sexy. How was he supposed to keep it in his pants when you looked that damn good doing anything at all?

“OK we can’t both get the ghost pepper wings,” you looked over the top of the menu. “We need to split one order and get an order of something that isn’t going to potentially melt our tongues off.”

“You’re no fun,” he smirked a little.

“No, I’m a great time,” you replied. “I’m just also not insane.”

The two of you shared the wings - both agreeing that they weren’t nearly as spicy as the menu led you to believe - and Joel took you to the next stop on his plan for the day.

“Are you kidding me?” You jumped out of the truck looking practically giddy. “An escape room? I’ve always wanted to try one of these!”

“Yeah, I keep seeing this one, thought I should see what all the fuss was about,” he smiled a little, putting his arm around your shoulders and kissing your temple.

Joel was a little surprised at how much he liked the escape room thing. He’d googled it when trying to come up with something to do with you besides the cliche dinner and a movie shit and it seemed more like the kind of thing Sarah might try to get him to do. But, as it turned out, you and Joel made a great team. And he loved watching you gleefully shout the answer when you figured out a puzzle. You did a happy little jump when something unlocked or pieces fit together and shrieked and threw your arms around Joel’s neck when the room was solved in less than the two hour time limit.

“You seriously planned even more than this?” You asked, brows raised, as the two of you got back in the truck.

“I promised to keep my hands to myself until the end of the day,” he winked. “Can’t expect me to do that without something to distract me.”

He took you to a winery tasting room in town next, the two of you each sampling a different variety of wines.

“This one has a nice bouquet,” you said, nose in the glass. “Definitely smelling… um… rich mahogany?”

Joel choked on the sip of wine that was in his mouth, trying not to shoot it out of his nose.

“I’m sorry!” You laughed. “I really like drinking wine but I don’t know much about it at all!”

“That’s OK,” Joel smiled. “I don’t know shit about it either.”

“But it would sound cool to know about it, right?” You said. “Like, you take a sip and know something about it besides ‘oh yeah, that’s good and it is the color red.’”

“OK now we just have to learn about wine together,” Joel set his glass down. “So we can sound cool.”

“Together?” You raised your eyebrows.

“If you want,” he shrugged, only realizing then that he was getting ahead of himself. “I want to…”

You smiled a little.

“I want to, too.”

At dinner, you excused yourself to the restroom and Joel checked his phone for the first time since he’d picked you up that morning, only to see a text from you come through as he checked his other messages.

“Need your help,” it said. “Last door in the hall.”

Joel frowned, pocketing his phone and went to find you, knocking once on the door before you opened it, grabbed a fistful of his shirt and pulled him inside, locking the door behind him.

“What are…”

“I figure if our clothes stay on it counts as keeping our hands to ourselves, right?” You pressed yourself against the front of him, kissing him.

“Definitely,” he said, already breathless.

He pushed you back into the wall and put his knee between your legs, his cock - at least half hard for the entire goddamn day - against your hip. Your arms went around his neck and you kissed him. His tongue slipped into your mouth and he moaned into you as you started to rock your hips against his thigh.

“Fuck Beautiful,” he groaned as he kissed down your jaw to your throat. “You been needy all day?”

“Since you picked me up,” your head went back against the tile wall of the bathroom, voice breathless and wanting.

“Fuck, me too,” he nipped your throat and pressed his cock into you, grinding against your body like a goddamn teenager. “Think you can come from just riding my leg?”

He pulled you down on him, making you groan. He could feel the wet heat of you, even through the fabric. Fuck, he wanted to feel you there, wanted to bury himself inside you there.

“Yes,” you managed.

Joel’s hands slid down your body to your ass, his fingers sinking into your flesh, pulling your body tight to him as he cursed the fabric between his skin and yours, fucking up against you. You rode his leg, breaths coming in stuttering gasps, working your pussy against him harder and faster, your body pressed flush against his own.

“Joel, fuck,” you fingers tangled in his hair as he buried his face in your neck. “I’m going to come, I’m going to fucking…”

“Good,” he groaned, his cock leaking and achy and all but ready to spill into his fucking jeans. “Do it, come for me, come on my fucking leg…”

You obeyed with a desperate moan and he clutched your body to him as he felt your pussy pulsing against his thigh, the heat of your pleasure, the soft give of your skin pushing him over the edge as he came, his cock throbbing against you.

“Fuck,” you panted, breathless, your body limp.

“Not sure it still counts,” he dropped his head to your shoulder.

“No, it does,” you nodded. “Definitely counts, we’ve been very well behaved all day. We’re basically angels.”

Joel laughed before he kissed you and the two of you sheepishly made your way back to your table, no one at the restaurant seemingly any the wiser that the pair of you had all but fucked in one of the bathrooms just feet away.

The not-quite-fucking in the bathroom made it so Joel felt like he could actually survive the rest of the evening, finally taking you to a bar to listen to live music like he’d been wanting to do since the night he met you.

The place was loud when you arrived, the band just getting started, and Joel found an open table toward the back. You held it while he got drinks and he could see a hint of the lace of your bra whenever you leaned over to tell him something over the sound of the band.

After the two of you made it through a drink, you put your hand in his, tugging him toward the crowd clustered around the stage.

“C’mon,” you smiled. “I feel like dancing!”

He followed you - starting to feel like he might just follow you anywhere - and put his hands on your waist as you pressed your body against his, moving in time with the music, the whole crowd pulsing with the same energy.

When the band slowed it down, you looped your arms around his neck and smiled, your eyes bright with the lights from the stage.

“Can’t believe you actually planned all this,” you shook your head a little. “I don’t know that a guy has ever put this much effort into… damn, anything at all for me.”

“You’ve been dating the entirely wrong kind of men then,” he replied, wondering how the fuck someone wouldn’t try to do anything and everything for you, just for an excuse to see you all the time.

“Probably true,” you laughed a little. “Or you’re just a breed unto yourself, Joel Miller.”

“It’s for the best,” he smiled, trailing his fingers up your arm. You kissed him, all soft and sweet, different from every other kiss he’d shared with you so far. It was the first time it felt like he was kissing you just to kiss you, not because it was leading to your bed. He liked it, the gentle intimacy of it.

The song ended and the band said they were taking a break but would be back up soon and you pressed your lips a little firmer to his for a second before pulling back from him.

“Why don’t you go hold down the table for a second?” You smiled. “My turn to get the drinks.”

“But…”

“I insist,” you cut him off. “Not letting you into my apartment later any other way.”

“You drive a hard bargain,” he kissed your cheek. “But I accept.”

Joel went back to the table and watched you from across the bar, not much different than the night he first met you. Except now he got to go home with you. He smiled to himself and shook his head a little. How the hell had he gotten that lucky?

Sarah had texted him at some point in the evening, asking what he was up to the next week. He texted her back, still not quite sure how to broach the subject of you with his daughter. He’d have to at some point. He wasn’t about to give you up, he’d have to talk to Sarah about it eventually. The both of you would. He sighed and put his phone back in his pocket, looking up to find you at the bar as you stared down some guy who was almost Joel’s size, the man’s hand on your lower back. Your mouth was drawn low into a frown and Joel was half way across the bar before he fully realized what he was doing.

He reached you in what felt like a second, pulling you back from the bar and putting himself between the man and you.

“Hey man…” the guy began but Joel cut him off.

“You botherin’ my girl?” He snapped. His blood was hot, he could feel it moving through his body. He’d looked away from you for a minute, just a minute, and some guy had decided he could just touch you when you didn’t want it.

“Sorry, she didn’t say she had a boyfriend…”

“Don’t matter. She say you could touch her?” Joel shoved him. “‘Cause sure didn’t look like she appreciated that shit.” Joel shoved him again. “You like bein’ touched without permission?” Another shove. “Not so fuckin’ nice when it’s a man doin’ it to you, is it?”

The guy was either stupid or drunk. Maybe both. Either way, he telegraphed his next move by a fucking mile, pulling his fist back to take a swing at Joel. He dodged it, easily, before punching back, catching the man across the jaw and sending him sprawling to the floor.

“Joel!” Your voice snapped him out of it. He relaxed his fist and shook some of the stiffness out of his hand, turning to you and realizing for the first time that the whole bar was staring. Shit. The guy on the floor groaned and started sitting up.

“Why don’t you go on home before we need to call the cops,” the bartender said, his hand balled in a fist on the bar top.

“Come on, Joel.”

You looped your arm around his and tugged him along toward the door, the two of you going to his truck in silence.

“I’m really sorry about that,” he said after he’d been driving in awkward quiet for a few minutes.

“What happened?” You asked. He glanced over at you. You didn’t look pissed, at least.

“Saw the look on your face,” he focused on the road, flexing the hand with the sore knuckles. “I just looked down to check my phone, text Sarah back real quick and the next thing I know that fucker’s got his hand on you and it sure as shit didn’t look like somethin’ you wanted…”

“It wasn’t something I wanted,” you said.

Joel nodded.

“Just saw red,” he ground his teeth. “Don’t know why some men think they’re just entitled to… Look, not exactly proud of it, but if something pisses me off in just the right - or wrong, I guess - way, I just…”

“It’s OK, Joel.”

“Need you to know that it’s never happened with a woman,” he said, glancing at you again before looking back to the road. “Not someone I was seein’, not Sarah, not anyone else. I’d never react like that to you no matter what you did, never…”

“I said it’s OK, Joel.”

The knot in his stomach relaxed just a bit.

“Didn’t freak you out?” He asked, looking your way just long enough to catch you shaking your head as you answered.

“Didn’t freak me out.”

“Because I really don’t want to…”

“Joel,” you cut him off. “I’m not afraid of you because you lost your temper on an asshole at the bar who deserved it.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” he could hear the hint of a smile on your voice. “It was… actually, it was kind of nice. I dated a guy for a bit in Seattle and he literally watched a guy grab my ass when we were at a baseball game and he didn’t do a damn thing, didn’t even back me up when I handled it myself. It… it was kind of nice to not have to handle it myself.”

“Shouldn’t have to handle it at all,” he said. “Assholes need to learn to keep their hands to themselves. But you definitely won’t need to handle it if I’m there.”

You looked at him for a moment when he didn’t park the truck outside your apartment, instead pulling up to your front walk.

“Thought the whole point of earlier is that we were leaving our clothes on until this point of the night,” you said. “Makes it a little difficult if you’re in a different house.”

“You really still want me to come inside?” He raised his eyebrows.

You rolled your eyes.

“Get in my house so I can take your pants off, please.”

He smiled a little.

“Yes ma’am.”

Your front door had barely even closed behind you before you were pulling at Joel’s shirt, his mouth on yours, his cock already hard and aching for you.

His shirt wound up somewhere on the floor of your living room, yours in the hall. He left the bra on for a bit, your nipples firm against the lace. His pants wound up in the doorway to your bedroom, yours next to your bed as he pressed you back against the mattress. You fell onto it before crawling back, putting yourself in the middle of the bed and he followed, his mouth on yours, tasting the cocktail from the bar on your tongue.

He kissed down your throat to your breasts, his tongue dipping between the gaps in the lace to find your skin, your back arching below him when he licked closer to your nipple before he gave it a sucking kiss. He trailed his lips over your breast bone to your other breast and gave you the same treatment there, your breaths starting to come in gasping little pants. Your bra clasped in the front - thank fuck for that - and he opened it, revealing your soft flesh. He cupped your breasts, the heavy weight of them silk against his calloused hands, before he traced down your body with his mouth and fingers to your hips. He took a second to appreciate just how fucking pretty your pussy looked in your black lace panties before he hooked his fingers around the top of them and tugged them down your body, casting them aside and crawling between your legs.

He put a thigh over each shoulder and pressed a kiss to your clit and you took a deep, shuddering breath before you spoke, your voice sounding almost strangled.

“You don’t have to do that,” you were practically squirming below him.

“I know,” he ran his tongue slowly from your hole to your clit. “But I want to. Been wanting to, shame I haven’t yet, taste so fucking good…”

You moaned and he smiled a little before dipping his tongue into your wet heat. He moaned too, couldn’t help it. He hadn’t been lying, your pussy tasted good, heady musk with a hint of sweetness to you. He clutched one of your thighs against his head with one hand and teased your clit with the other, making your hips rock into him and your back arch.

“Sorry,” you panted, going still. “I’m… fuck, sorry…”

“For what?” He pulled his mouth away from you just enough to look up your body and properly see you. “You think I don’t want your perfect fucking pussy coming all over my mouth? Think I don’t want you riding my fucking face? Want you come all over me, Beautiful, want you to do whatever it takes to make you come all over me.”

He went back to eating at your pussy, devouring you as you moaned and arched below his touch, your sex getting wetter and wetter as his tongue worked you open. He added a finger to your tight, slick hole and he felt you start to contract around him, your breath picking up, your fingers clutching at your bedspread. He pressed harder against your clit, hooked his fingers into your inner wall, his tongue pushing deep as you came around him with a strangled cry. He smiled against you as he worked you through your orgasm, not easing up on you until you went limp below him, whimpering as you did.

“You can’t seriously think I didn’t enjoy that,” he panted as he trailed his mouth back up your body, his lips still wet with you. You just laughed, breathless.

He went to reach for the drawer where you kept the condoms but you grabbed his wrist.

“Wait,” you said, breath still heavy. He frowned but obeyed, his fingers lacing with yours. He gently guided your hand with his to your breast, holding you gently. You moaned slightly and closed your eyes before you gave your head a small shake. “Sorry, trying to focus…”

“Want me to stop?” He smirked.

You glared at him.

“No. But… I was thinking… I’m not… I haven’t been sleeping with anyone but you and I don’t know if you’re sleeping with anyone else…”

“I’m not.”

You smiled a little.

“You’re the first person I’ve been with since I tested last and everything was clear,” your voice was hesitant. “And I’ve got an IUD…”

“You asking me to fuck you bare?” He asked, his eyes searching yours. You bit your lip and nodded. “Fuck Beautiful…”

“Assuming you don’t have anything I should know about,” you said, a little hesitant. “And if you’re OK with it…”

“More than fuckin’ OK with it,” he brushed your hair back with his free hand and held the crown of your head in his palm. “Love the thought of that, of bein’ that close to you.”

He pulled his hand from yours and slid it between you to your dripping slit, making you gasp. He closed his eyes for a second, trying to focus on something aside from the thought of sinking into your body with nothing between you.

“Want to feel you that way,” you said softly, reaching up and running your fingers through his hair. “Joel…”

He kissed you then, sliding a finger into you and making your hips rock against him. He gathered your slick and brought it to his cock, coating himself in you. You already felt good - fucking exquisite - when he brought the head of him to your tight, grasping hole.

Joel pushed inside you slowly, gently, easing you open as you arched into him and your hands splayed over his back.

He licked into your mouth softly as he pressed into you, trying desperately to focus on something besides just how incredible it felt to be inside you bare.

Because it was incredible. Beyond incredible. He hadn’t been inside someone without a condom in years, no relationships lasting long enough for him to trust someone enough to fool around without one. Knock up one woman by accident and you learn your lesson real damn quick.

But you were different. You were you. It was safe to want you this way, have you this way. He could trust you, he could feel that. More than that, he wanted to feel you this way, feel you from inside, feel the very core of you as you took him into yourself, vulnerable and wanting.

He sank into you and you were so fucking wet, so fucking soft, so fucking warm. He’d never felt anything as good as this, didn’t think there was something that could feel as good as this. But it made sense that he’d find it within you, perfect fucking sense that something so exquisite would be found inside of someone so fucking exquisite in every other way. Your laugh, your skin, your way of thinking, of course being inside you would be almost painfully incredible.

“Fuck, Joel,” you panted as he bottomed out in you, his hips flush to yours. He could feel every detail of your muscles stretching around him, the way your body seemed to cradle his own. “Fuck you feel… you feel…”

“I know baby,” he kissed you, holding himself inside you as he gave your channel a moment to adjust to the size of him. “Fuck, I know…”

He kissed you again when he started moving in you and you moaned into his mouth, your hips rocking up to meet his own.

Joel started slowly - he had to or he’d come far before he was ready to, you felt too damn good - savoring at how acutely he could feel every part of you as he thrust into you.

But he gave in before too long, thrusting into you harder, faster, swallowing the delicious noises you made as you clung to him, your fingers pressing into his back, your legs entwined with his. He could feel you starting to tighten around him, your movements getting faster, sloppy.

“Not going to last when you come,” he managed, pressing his mouth to your throat before continuing. “Where…”

“Inside me,” you panted, desperate. “Please, Joel…”

He nodded into your neck, fucking into you harder and faster and your fingers clung to him as you came, your back arching into him. He looped an arm below you, holding your body tightly to his own as his cock pressed deep inside you.

“God, fuck, that’s right, come for me,” he said, inches away from coming himself, your walls pulsing around him harder and tighter than they ever had before. “C’mon Beautiful, doing so good, taking me so well…”

He managed to hold out until your orgasm began to weaken and, with a tortured moan, filled you, pumping rope after rope of come into your desperate, aching core. Your hand flew to as close to his lower back as you could reach and you somehow pushed him deeper into you. He was already leaking out of you, spilling onto his balls and legs before he was even finished coming.

He collapsed onto you, his head over your shoulder, your hands running in little trails up and down his back as you both panted for breath. The moment he had the energy, he lifted his head enough to kiss you and then rolled you so you were both on your sides, facing each other. He tucked a stray hair behind your ear.

“Fuck that was incredible,” you smiled a little at him.

He smiled a little back.

“You’re stuck with me now,” he said. You laughed. “Can’t recover from sex that damn good, it’s impossible.”

He held you like that for a long time, the two of you eventually disentangling from each other enough for you to fall asleep on his chest, Joel’s hand splayed wide across the soft skin of your back.

He woke up before you in the morning, feeling more well rested than he remembered feeling anytime in the last decade, at least. He’d never slept over before and you’d never slept over at his place, always going your separate ways after sex. He didn’t think he could let that keep happening either.

Joel gently extracted himself from you and you made a groggy little sound but he shushed you, kissing your temple and urging you back to sleep, giving you a pillow to wrap around. He went to your dresser and grabbed a t-shirt from a drawer you’d tossed him a shirt to wear home before. He looked at it and smiled a little, the shirt from a Halloween-themed 5K you’d done with Sarah in Seattle. He remembered her gushing to him about it. He pulled it on, grabbed his jeans and the keys to your place and his truck.

You’d mentioned a coffee shop down the road, how you liked their skim lattes, a few times and he thought he found it. It was early enough on a Sunday - church still in session - that the place was pretty quiet. He pulled up a picture he had of you on his phone - a selfie you’d sent from the office when he’d asked to see you one afternoon when his job was being particularly shitty - and asked the barista if she knew you and what coffee you usually got. She did know you and smiled a little at Joel before making you an Irish cream latte. He got a cappuccino for himself and breakfast sandwiches before going back to your place and letting himself in.

You were still in bed, asleep but not deeply. He set your coffee and sandwich on your side of the beg, kissing your forehead as he brushed your hair back. You smiled.

“Thought you might want coffee,” he said quietly.

“Mmmm, always want coffee,” you smiled and opened your eyes, looking him over. You smiled wider. “That shirt fits you a whole lot better than it fits me.”

“Probably looks better on you though,” he smiled, climbing into bed next to you.

“Did you really go to my favorite coffee place?” You gaped at him as you sat up. He shrugged. “Joel, I swear, you’re going to ruin me for all other men…”

“Don’t mind that one bit,” he smiled.

He’d only gotten a bite of his bagel sandwich in when he felt his phone vibrate against his leg. He frowned, pulling it out. Sarah was calling. His frown deepened.

“I’m so sorry,” he began, showing you the screen.

“Don’t be, of course pick up, it’s Sarah,” you said, picking up your coffee cup, your eyebrows knitted together.

“Hey baby girl,” he said after he answered. “Everything OK? Never mind hearin’ from ya but it’s awful early out by you…”

“Where are you right now?” She asked.

He frowned.

“Home,” he said, not thrilled about lying but…

“No you’re not,” she said.

He frowned deeper.

“What d’you mean ‘no I’m not?’”

“I mean,” he could hear the smile on her voice. “I’m in your living room and neither you nor your truck are here, what the heck Dad?”

“You’re in Austin?” He looked at you and your eyes went wide. “What are you doin’ here!”

“There was a cheap last minute flight deal so I figured why not surprise my favorite old man,” she said. “So where the heck are you! I need a Dad hug, it makes getting to the airport at like 4 a.m. worth it.”

“Shit!” You whispered. Joel winced.

“I’m on my way back home after runnin’ some errands,” he said quickly. “I’ll be there in just a few, I can’t believe you’re here baby girl! Missed you so much!”

“I’m going to make coffee,” she said. “And then drink it all before you get here so you can’t have any. See you soon!”

Your eyes were still wide when he hung up the phone.

“Have you…” you began. He shook his head. “Yeah, I haven’t said anything to her, either…”

“We can try and figure it out but I have to go,” he kissed you, deep and desperate, the only thing that could possibly pull him away from your bed right now coincidentally being the person who just showed up in his living room. “I’ll text you, I’m so sorry but…”

“Go,” you kissed him again, a quick but soft kiss. “Go home, see Sarah, keep me posted?”

He nodded, grabbing his coffee and his sandwich and going to the door before turning back to you.

“I had…”

“Joel, I swear to God if Sarah finds out about us because you were standing here too long I will never fuck you again,” you laughed. “Text me about it when you have a minute. And I had a great time, too.”

He smiled.

“OK. See you soon.”

He half ran to his truck, jumping in the driver’s seat and flooring it back to his place.

He totally forgot about the shirt.

Next Chapter

A/N: OH NO NOT SARAH! Even though we love Sarah. But this will be a wrench in things. Wonder what will happen now???

I hope you all enjoyed a cameo by Feral!Joel because I love him.

Thank you so much for being here and for reading! Love you!!!

#joel miller x female reader #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #fanfic #smut fic #joel miller x reader smut #joel miller smut #joel miller x oc #bfd!joel

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sturniololoco · 3 months

Note

i LOVEDDD the pregnancy one!! can you do more like that like maybe when she has the baby and how they help her?

Pregnant pt 2

Sturniolo Little Sister (SLS) x The Sturniolo Triplets

Warnings: baby spit up, tiredness, cuteness overload, etc.?

Note: This is so perfect bc I'm ab to get another little sibling tomorrow! (Don't mind the age gap lol)

Chris's POV

Why does giving birth to a child take so damn long?

SLS/N was finally giving birth to her little girl today, so Matt, Nick, and I were sitting in the waiting room, bouncing our legs and biting our nails, waiting.

Soon, a nurse came out into the room, asking for the Sturniolo family. The three of us immediately stood and followed her to a room.

"Which one of you is the husband?" the nurse asked, making small talk as we walked down the hallways.

all of our faces burned bright red at her question.

"O-Oh, no! She's our sister!" I said, giving a light laugh along with my brothers.

She stopped in front of a room and opened the door. Putting a finger to her lips, she motioned us inside, then left us there, closing the door again behind her.

We nervously walked around the corner to see SLS/N sitting up against the pillows of her hospital bed, holding a freshly bathed baby girl.

We smiled at her, quietly coming next to her and giving her a side hug.

"Hey, kiddo. How ya feelin'?" I asked my little sister, kissing her on top of her head. I knew it hurt her, but she was tough. She was gonna love this kid with her whole heart.

"I'm doing pretty good actually." She said. She had the biggest of smiles on her face, and it never stopped shining.

"You guys wanna meet Charleigh?" She asked motioning to the baby in her arms. We all smiled, leaning down to say hello.

"Hello, little Charleigh! It's your favorite, Uncle Chris!" I said, rubbing my finger over her soft smooth hand. I internally cringed at my baby voice, but at this point, I didn't even care.

SLS/N giggled, lifting her up to get me a better look at her face.

"Here, why don't you hold her." She asked, getting up out of bed gently so as not to wake her sleeping baby.

"I-Uh...Ok," I said.

I was kind of scared to hold her.

What if I drop her? What if she wakes up? What if she cries? What if-

My thoughts were cut off by SLS/N placing her in my arms, and showing me how to hold her. She sat me down on the couch and put a pillow under my arm.

Charleigh only moved a little, but then went right back to sleep. I let out a nervous breath I had been holding in, relieved as I realized that this was not as scary as I thought.

"She's so perfect," I say, looking down at her and smiling.

"Now that's a good picture!" Nick says, holding up his phone to snap a shot.

Matt's POV

The next day, SLS/N and the baby were discharged from the hospital and ready to get home.

SLS/N was carrying the baby in her car seat, the one that took Chris and me 2 and a half hours to get the base in the car.

She put Charleigh into the car and then climbed in next to her, Nick in the way back, Chris in the front next to me.

Then It hit me.

I'm driving a newborn baby. What if we crash? What if I run off a bridge? what if-

"Matt? You okay?" I hear SLS/N ask me.

"I-Uh...No. what if something goes wrong? It'll be all my fault! And then-" I start rambling, my anxiety flooding through my veins.

"Hey, hey. Listen to me. I trust you more than anyone in the world to drive my baby and me home. If I didn't, then I wouldn't put her in the car. But you're the only person I would want to drive in this situation, okay?"

Her words instantly calmed me. I began to feel braver, happy that she felt like she could put so much trust in me. I back out of the parking lot and make our way home.

Nick's POV

We pull into the driveway and my sister gets the baby out of the car. she then walks to the back to get her stuff.

But I beat her to it.

"Don't be silly SLS/N! You just had a fucking baby, go sit down and I'll get the stuff." I order her.

I really want to help my sister as much as I can, she's already been through so much. I want to support her through all her decisions, showing her that I love and support her.

"Aw, thanks, Nick!" She says, walking into the house after Matt, who had just unlocked the door.

I grab her and the baby's bags, then walk into the house after her.

"Hey Sis, I made you a surprise!" I say to my sister, walking into the living room with a plate behind my back.

She had just gotten Charleigh asleep in Matt's room since it was the closest to the living room. She was now lounging on the couch with Matt and Chris.

She sits up and claps her hands, closing her eyes. I place the plate in front of her.

"Oh fuck yeah!" she says, digging into the quesidllia I made her. I laugh as she sighs in delight. I have no ide why she even likes these that much, I can't cook worth a shit.

as she sets her plate down on the table, she scoots closer to the three of us, wrapping her arms around our necks in a big group hug.

"I love you guys," She says, squeezing us tight.

Just as I was about to respond, I heard a cry on the baby monitor.

"I'll get her!" Chris shouts, jumping up to retrieve our new favorite niece.

@idkwhosnyla @babypat08 @eyelessdemon00 @christopherowensturniolo @sturnsxx @freshloveforthefit @matty443355 @sleepysturnss @emeraldgreenbeautiesstu @sunsetsturniolos @hoesturniolo @x4nd3rsukz @chr1sgirl4life @sstvrnioloo @sturns-posts @chrisstopherfilmed @kylasrealityx @zoeysturnioloooooo @comet235 @islaasblog @sturnioloblogs @defnotayonna @mattsleftnipple03 @thematthewlover @mattsaq

#nick sturniolo #sturniolo imagine #sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo #sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo smut #chris sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #nicolas sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #matthew sturniolo #pregnancy #pregnant #pregnant reader

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sunshine-on-marz · 2 months

Text

Gut feelings

Spencer Reid x Reader

Hurt comfort

Canon levels of violence and injury

“Spencer!” Your voice is relived and exasperated as he walked out of the building, you walk over and pull him down into a hug “Spence..” you tearfully whisper and bury your face into the crook of his neck. “I’m alright, I’m okay” he says softly as he kisses the top of your head “you scared me” you cry, he hums in acknowledgment “I’m sorry love, I should’ve listened.” He says, you shake your head “no- it’s ok. It’s alright. You’re safe now that all that matters”

The jet ride back was tense to say the least. A dead unsub and a victim in a coma they’re unlikely to wake from isn’t an ideal outcome. You’re curled up on Spencer’s side with his arm slung around you, his hand gently tracing shapes on your side. “I knew something was gonna go wrong” you whisper. While no one could’ve known that the unsub, who was supposed to be unarmed, would start shooting, you’d told Hotch and Spencer that you had a bad feeling about Spencer going inside, and when you heard those gunshots sound, you damn near fainted. “I’m ok honey, I’m alright, please don’t stress yourself like this” Spencer says, gently rubbing his hand up and down your side. “If you’d gotten hurt that would’ve been my fault” you said it so quietly he’d hardly understood, but he did. “That’s not true and you know it.” Spencer kissed the top of your head and pulled you impossibly closer to him. Being upset wasn’t uncommon when you’re a BAU agent, but being an agent who’s in love with an agent? That makes it a hell of a lot worse. But being with Spencer Reid? That was worth damn near anything.

#spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid criminal minds #spencer reid #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds

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my-great-big-book-of-fan-fiction · 2 months

Text

Katsuki Bakugou x Popular/MeanGirl!reader - oneshot about Katsuki loving his ruthless girlfriend!

Ok, the title is a little misleading, you're not that mean! you just do unto others what they do to you...and Katsuki loves it. As always, please let me know if you want more, and if you have any ideas for the future <3 calling this a songfic, because it's hugely based on Don't Touch! by Lil Mariko

warnings: lots of cursing, mentions of castration, and one chaotic good(?) reader

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When you first arrived at UA, a late entry as you lived in the Americas prior, everyone loved you, and surprisingly that included Bakugou. Of course, it took him a long time to warm up all the way, but you started dating after a few months of getting to know each other. What could he say? You were pretty, smart, patient with him, and best of all, you didn't take crap. He learned that the first week of your arrival, when his attempt to bully you fell short. You actually took a liking to him, so he was spared most of the passive aggressive fate he saw you give some others. You were just nice to people who were nice to you, ergo most considered you sweet as candy while some considered you a total bitch.

You were hot and you knew it, and believe it or not it caused a lot of people to spread rumors about you. He'll never forget the first time he saw you in action, it was as satisfying as it was attractive. While walking to lunch, a pair of 2nd years were standing to the side whispering and pointing to you. one of them yelled out, "slut," while the other laughed. You, being the bad bitch that you are, turned around, smiled pleasantly, and put on your best innocent demeanor. "aw, I'm really sorry for getting your dick hard, maybe next time try and keep your eyes a little higher, yeah?" It. Was. Magnificent. The two were flabbergasted to say the least, and Katsuki himself was glad to finally see someone who didn't act like a saint all the time.

Long story short, you were his other half, and he had gotten used to your mocking, sarcastic way of handling assholes...until the day of the Sports Festival. You and Katsuki were were perusing the food stands, you dragging him around from place to place, him trailing behind like the grump he was. One stand actually caught his eye, a sign claiming to have the spiciest sauce in the city to compliment their renowned Takoyaki. You were standing with him, looking around while holding his hand, when out of the corner of your eye you saw someone point towards you. You didn't turn your head, not wanting them to know you noticed, but kept an ear out to see what they were saying.

"yeah, he's the one I was telling you about."

"that guy? No way he's with a girl like her."

"I know, right? He has to be keeping her with him, probably scaring her into staying."

Oh hell no. You weren't going to let this slide, it was one thing to talk about you, but a whole other thing to talk about your relationship. You whipped around, yanking a very confused Katsuki with you. Katsuki had heard the two talking, but was far too enamored with the spicy sauce to actually listen. "Hey," You yelled, using a voice Katsuki hadn't heard out of you before as you raised the hand holding Katsuki's into the air for all to see. "See this?! This means he loves me, so next time you go and make assumptions, why don't you keep your damn mouth shut?!" You step closer to the pair of stunned teens, wearing a look that could kill. Your voice was low and menacing now, making sure they understood every syllable. "Next time I hear you talk shit about my boyfriend, I'll take the Louis Vuitton's He bought me, hunt you down, and castrate you."

The two whimpered, stuttering out a response but unable to finish before running off with their tails between their legs. You watched them dash, one hand on your hip and the other in Katsuki's, before turning to him with that same bubbly smile you always had. "Alright, let's go get ice cream, I'm still hungry!" He had this unreadable expression on his face, and when you tried to pull him to the ice cream he stood stock still. "...What...?" You were fearing the worst.

Were you too much for him? Did he realize he wanted someone nicer, like Ururaka or Momo? This time, he did dragging of his own, yanking you in the opposite direction. He pulled you along without another word, looking left to right, before stopping next to an empty vending stand. "Katsuki, what are you doing," You asked, he was worrying you.

He looked around again, making sure no one was watching, before yanking into the stand with him.

He never answered you with words, but the way he made out with you for the remainder of the Festival break kind of spoke for him. Right then, when you were threatening those extras, was the moment he realized he loved you. Actually, no. He already knew he loved you, despite the fact he never said it (yet). Right then was the moment he knew he'd marry you. You wouldn't know that story from his perspective until he told it at your wedding.

______________________________________________________________

hope you enjoyed, I had this story on my mind all last night and was just itching to write it! let me know if you want more of this!

#bakugou katsuki #fanfic #katsuki bakugo x reader #katsuki bakugo mha #mha bakugou #new to this #new to tumblr #mha

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derangedanomaly · 2 months

Note

if it's ok can you do both the bad sanses and star sanses and epic and cross with an S/O who is a musician. Like they can sing and play guitar, keyboard, ect and performs at clubs

This was a little difficult (since there's so many characters), but it was fun. ^^ (I also didn't do Epic and Cross, since it was too much for me, sorry for that. Maybe I'll do them in a different post, if you still want them?)

Masterlist

SANS AUS X MUSICIAN READER

(Nightmare, Killer, Dust, Horror, Error, Dream, Swap, Ink)

Nightmare:

Nightmare's gonna be so surprised by your skills when it comes to playing so many instruments. He can actually play on a piano, so he will want to play together with you at some point, after he gets more comfortable around you.

He definitely doesn't think you'll be of good use when it comes to combat, but... He WILL want to stick around while you're playing any instrument, all while doing his paperwork.

Nightmare definitely appreciates when a great talent is put to a good use, so he'll arrange a night that happens once every week, where everyone in the castle relaxes, while attending to your little show.

Damn, you feel like quite a celebrity in Nightmare's castle.

Anyways, Nightmare respects you for having such talent, but probably won't respect you outside of that. He's just like that. 😐

It's like he has two different personalities that are switching depending on the situation. If it's a situation where you're performing: "I must say, Y/n, that was an exquisite performance that you played there. I can't wait to listen to it again, when we'll have the chance." But if it's in battle... "YOU DUMB FUCKING BITCH, STOP STANDING THERE BEING SO USELESS!!!" Then you two argue. 💀

He will soften up to you when the time comes, but you know... His shell is tough to crack.

Killer:

BRO'S LIKE -> :O

He gets so hyper after knowing that you can play so many instruments. He's gonna tell you every flirting pun revolving around music known to man. He literally won't stop coming up with new puns, it's a special skill of his at this point..

He literally won't leave you alone while you're preparing to train playing on another instrument. He's such a menace... he just wants to bother you 😂

Doesn't like how Nightmare treats you just because you're "useless" in combat. So he'll try to help you out in that department. He'll tell you some shit like "you could really rip someone's head off with this guitar" 💀 it's the thought that counts.

Wrote a music sheet for you once. It was just scribbles, that he thought you would understand 💀 but after you'd told him that no, you do not understand, he would try to recreate the sounds he meant for you to play, with his own voice...

"Ok, it goes like this! Meew mew pew bom boom! Got it?" You do not understand. 💀

Dust:

You'd think that being the smartest, he'd know a thing or two about musical instruments, but the truth is...he knows NOTHING about that. So having someone so skilled and knowledgeable like you, got him super excited!

He loves learning about new things, so prepare to be bombarded with lots of questions.

After you answer any of his questions and after a countless times of him watching/listening you play... He official wants to learn to play on an instrument! I mean, he once knew how to play the trombone! But it was long since those days, and he completely forgot everything about it, and it would be nice to learn how to play on a different instrument. :)

He's so supportive and tentative to you 😭 he's the first to come to your rescue whenever you're having a tough time in a battle!

Horror:

He doesn't think much of it. Not pretty big when it comes to playing an instrument, but it is nice to listen to you while he's drifting off to sleep.

He doesn't really care for it, hence -> he won't know anything about it. But he will support you. (Depending on what relationship you two have)

Just like the others, he also attends the times you play for the others, but only really focus on you. Not much on your skill.

He just likes you for you, no special skill is going to change that.

Horror is pretty much like your personal guardian when it comes to battles. As stated all the other times, your skill isn't really fit for battlefield, unless......

Horror actually helps you out a lot in this field. He gives you advice on how to use your skills in battle. And they're actually really good! (Unlike Killer's 💀)

He doesn't even know that the things he's saying are actually very helpful 💀

He just says what sounds right for him.

Lmao, bro absentmindedly helps you out the most of the bunch, which is actually really funny.

Error:

Also not big on instruments, but he sees you as an inspiration. Knowing how to play so many instruments is pretty impressive. And you do it flawlessly too!

He also, like the others attends your little "shows".

No matter what you play, he WILL fall asleep. It's not because it's boring, but your music is just calming to him.

You could be playing like a rock music, and he WILL STILL fall asleep. 💀

It's pretty much just impressive from his side at this point.

He thinks that you're actually pretty good in battle. Doesn't know what the other's are on about.

He would suspect you would be dead in seconds, but you actually survive them! Sure, not without injuries, but still. You can defend yourself somehow.

Dream:

Loves to hear you play the more calming instruments, rather than the loud ones. (Rock, Metal, etc. just won't do for him 😭)

He's seriously so proud of you!

As stated before, he doesn't like it when you're playing something loud. It hurts his nonexistent ears 💀🙏🏻

Almost burned your electric guitar one day... Says that it was an accident. (It wasn't.) Look, it was just in the way, and he wasn't looking! (It was annoying him, so he almost committed murder against your guitar 💀)

He hates loud instruments partly because he's supposed to be the protector of hopes and dreams, but it's mostly because it reminds him of his brother... :(

Always rushes to your rescue when in battle. Actually, doesn't even let you fight in the battles.

He just doesn't want to see you harmed in any way. Can't let his little muse die.

Ink:

Unlike Dream, Ink LOVES the loud instruments. (He also thinks you look attractive when playing them, but that's besides the point)

He's constantly encouraging you to play them, which irks Dream in return.

He thinks you're matching with the both of you having "artistic" hobbies. (He's actually so cute while saying that, like it's his best accomplishment)

If he could, he would sell his BRUSH just to hear you sing (not broomie 😭)

Comes to your shows whenever he remembers. His memory isn't that great, as we know.... So he'll most likely forget, and then remember when it's too late. He feels so bad that you actually can't help but feel sad for him.

He's actually on his knees, begging you for forgiveness. (You're not actually mad at him) He's such a sub while doing this that it's crazy 💀

Gets annoyed by your lack of fighting skills. Can't help but roll his eyes. (He'll still help you, because he likes you. But he WILL complain)

Just give him new pencils after, and he'll stop with the complaints.

Swap:

He's at awe at your skills. You inspire him to start learning himself! Of course he tries to learn by himself at first, due to not wanting to bother you. But after he figures out he can't learn by himself, he goes to you for help.

He's a really fast learner, so he gets the hang of it almost immediately. Which you appreciate. ^^

He also comes to listen to you performing! He swore to you that he'd come at every show. And he never broke it either!

After he gets better at his selective instrument and after he'll get more confident, he'll want to join you to perform with you! (Of course, if it's ok with you)

I swear, he's so supportive.

Doesn't care about your lack of fighting skills. It just gives him an excuse to protect you to be honest.

He seriously loves to be your knight in shining armor, definitely has this little fantasy that you're a princess/prince and he's the knight saving you from the HORRIBLE monster. (Nightmare)

#undertale fandom #undertale #sans undertale #sans x reader #nightmare sans x reader #dust sans x reader #killer sans x reader #error sans x reader #horror sans x reader #dream sans x reader #swap sans x reader #ink sans x reader

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prettyboypistol · 10 months

Text

TF2 Mercs Reacting to You Telling Them You're Autistic || TF2 x Reader (shitpost kinda)

(dw i can write this i got the 'tism)

Scout

IMMEDIATELY regrets saying the r slur in front of you a lot.

Will beat up anyone who makes fun of you for not being social.

As soon as you start listing the symptoms of autism everything makes a lot more sense.

Is a lot more accomidating for your meltdowns.

Engineer

"lmao same, you think a neurotypical could get 11 PhDs?"

Kinda already knew you were autistic, but waited for you to tell him to actualy speak about it.

Likes listening to your hyperfxations like a podcast while he works. (if he pays full attention he can't help but kiss you until you stop talking, god, you're just so cute when you get excited!!!!)

Demoman

"tf is autism"

"oooh ok i thought you were just cooky." /pos

honestly doesn't really react or care, but he keeps it in mind when he does things that might cause an adverse reaction.

Tavish just treats you like another human, which is honestly a breath of fresh air.

Heavy

"tf is autism" pt.2

probably doesn't understand what you mean, but gets the jist of it.

likes watching you stim/hyperfocus natural geographic style

has narrated over you without you noticing.

Pyro

that mf autism incarnate

makes the most offensive jokes about being autistic that only you two would understand.

they're so happy you understand their texture aversion to anything but thier suit.

"damn, you're gay AND autistic? pick a struggle"

Soldier

"AUTISM? WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?"

after getting it explained "THAT'S NOT AN ISSUE, EVERYONE ACTS LIKE THAT"

ADHD/Autism friend dynamic fr

He gets frustrated easily with aversions, but will be understanding.

Spy

"I could tell the moment you walked into the room for the first time."

can 100% read your needs when you can't verbalize.

he doesn't surprise you and likes the fact the he knows vaguely where you are at all times because of your routines.

Medic

"oh shit me too"

hyperfixates on your hyperfixations

highkey wants to study you

Sniper

Doesn't really get it, but is mindful of it, def picks up books from the library to read up on how to make someone feel more comfortable when they have autism.

understands social aversions, he completely gets it.

picky eating is the biggest vibe, snipes wouldnt care if he ate the same meal every day for the rest of his life.

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loveswrites · 1 year

Note

ok so how about cullen poly during the fight scene in the fourth movie orrrr cullen poly with how spending a day with them would be like

Tomorrow Poly Cullens x reader

Summary: Basically what the lovely anon asked for but I didn’t listen what so ever so I might make a part two if you guys want.

Etc: And if you loves want a part two let me know and drop some ideas for what they could do in their two hours aloneee. Also thank you my loves for all of the notes it encourages me to write more things for you guys and not just myself lol <3

Word count: 1694

Time it took: 1 hour and 40 minutes

“How could you be like a thousand years old and still so stupid!” You huffed holding your head in your hand. You and the Cullens had been fighting lately. You don’t know why.. Well maybe you have something to do with it.

“How am I stupid? I really can’t hangout with you today my darling. We need to hunt. Especially Jasper, with you being around a lot more his hunger levels tend to double.” Carlisle said. You could just picture him looking at you in sympathy.

You had called him because apparently all of your lovers are just too busy to hang out with you. You thought Carlisle would be free seeing as he was off today but I guess that wasn’t the case. He was off to go hunting with the rest of the family. Jasper had to leave earlier than the rest. So Alice, Emmett and Esme went with him. You thought Edward would be free since he didn’t go with him but he was in one of his petty moods ever since you went to hang out with Seth and Jacob with Bella. You told him he had nothing to worry about but he insisted that he did. Him and his stupid stupid mind reading. Which led to a fight with him so he was on the bottom of the roster right now.

Then there was Rosalie which was just a hard no for you. You didn’t want to hang out with her right now. Why you may ask? She threw away your pasta three days ago because she said it stunk. Who is she to throw away your pasta? You don’t walk around here popping her blood bags because you don’t like the way it looks to you. Maybe you should. I thought about it for a while and eventually said it out loud, Which was another fight with her that you could just add to the list.

So that left Carlisle who was perfect. Just perfect. He had picked you up from school just earlier today because you told him that you needed a ride. Since everyone else was busy he came and got you. Which he usually doesn’t do because it draws attention. But by now everyone was used to you being with and around the Cullens. Though they don’t know that you date them all. They only know that you date Jasper and Edward which they already thought was weird as hell. But you never cared. You're in love with two vampires that are the downfall to all of the human race. And you think that the world can know that. Know just enough without blowing the cover of it all.

“My love, I know that you are disappointed and upset with us but sadly there is nothing that I can offer for a solution.” Carlisle said after hearing your long aspirated sigh.

“It’s like you guys are avoiding me. I don’t feel loved at all. I want some love without an argument following through not even two minutes in.” You said, Stripping yourself of your clothes preparing to take a shower since you had nothing better to do.

“We are not avoiding you-” Carlisle paused and you could hear voices in the background. Listening closely you could hear that it was Esme.

“Is that-”

“I’m sorry but I have to go, the hospital is calling.” He rushed out and before you could even say a word the line was clear.

Pulling your phone away from your ear you could do nothing but stare at it in disbelief. He hung up on you. And not only that but you were completely sure that that was Esme's voice in the background. No one else around her sounds like her. And you know damn well the hospital did not call him. He was lying. Esme was lying. They’re all lying.

You couldn’t feel anything but disbelief.

You knew they lied to just about everyone but that was to protect their family. Not everyone in the town could know that they drink animal blood and sparkle in the sun like a fucking case of glitter. But you knew those things already. You’ve seen those things already. So there would be no reason to hide anything from you. At all.

Finding a new sense of adventure sparling through your veins you put your clothes back on now determined to find some answers.

Running down the stairs with your bookbag you almost bumped into Charlie. “Woah there kiddo, What's the rush?!” He yelled out to you as you ran past him.

“I’ll be back later, don't worry I just need to see something really quick!” You yelled back getting into your car Carlisle got you for your last birthday. You had told him that was a big mistake. Even though He bought you a car you always felt guilty using it because you didn’t want it to look like you were using him. So you’d always catch a ride with one of them or go with bella. But right now you didn’t care about any of that.

Pulling up to the Cullens residents It looked deserted. But then again when did it not? Parking your car you walked up to the door which was already being opened by Alice. Once you saw her you immediately frowned. She was supposed to be with Jasper just like Esme was.

“What are you-”

“You need to go home.” Alice said firmly with her head held high light always.

“What? I don’t understand, why are you here?” You grow your eyebrows in confusion.

“Cleaning. Now go.” She said pointing back to your car.

“Do you see me walking away from this house anytime soon Alice?” You said standing your ground. She wasn’t just about to go and rush you away when you had only just gotten here. Seeing her face you knew the answer.

You pushed her out of the way gently but made it known that you were going to back down and bow like a little puppy.

As you walked closer to the heart of the house you heard mumbling and hushed whispers. Finally reaching your destination your eyes widened a little with what you saw. And your heart skipped a couple of beats.

Standing in front of you there was a sign on the wall that read. "We're so sorry’ And the loves of your life were each holding a sign that read ‘I love you because…’

“I know we lied to you but we had too. It was the only way for us to be able to put something together to try and show you the love that we have for you. You came sooner than expected.” Jasper said, looking a little ashamed. Him and his southern accent would always make you smile. Sometimes you wondered if it was just him. Or him using his powers on you. But either way you didn’t care it made you happy.

“Once Alice saw you coming we had to throw something together really fast. We were still brainstorming ideas Roslise didn’t like anything we suggested.” Edward said, shooting Rose a pointed look making you let out a small laugh. That was more like a sigh of relief.

“It wasn’t enough, all their Ideas sucked. You deserve nothing but the best and I think I'm the only one in this room that understands that.” Rose said in her know it all tone that you loved so much.

“When you said over the phone early that you didn’t feel loved anymore that broke a piece of my heart. I- We never want you to feel that way. We want you to feel like the most loved person in this world. Because you are my love. We would die for you.” Carlisle said taking a step closer to you.

“I’d live for you.” Edward said, taking a step closer to you.

“Fight for you.” Jasper and Emmett said at the same time. Also taking a step closer to you.

“Smile for you.” Rose said, taking her step.

“Care for you.” Esme said taking a step as well.

“We couldn’t imagine a life without you and we're going to prove it to you. Starting today.” Esme said.

“Well more like tomorrow.” Rose said Shrugging her shoulders when everyone looked at her with a look as if to tell her to shut up.

“Rose is right, the full day starts tomorrow but doesn’t mean we can’t start tonight. You’ll have at least 2 hours with each of us until it’s time for us all to gather together. Since tomorrow is saturday.” Carlisle said kissing the top of your forehead, making you smile. Realizing you hadn’t said a word in a while you decided to throw something out there.

“Really?” You whispered but you know they heard you. Perks of being a vampire.

“Yes.” They all said collectively.

This made you so over filled with joy squealing you kissed all of your lovers with a big wide smile on your face. They of course kissed you back like they always do. Biting your bottom lip in anticipation you looked up at all of them in expectation. Making them all break out with a soft smile. In admiration.

“So what’s first?” You said basically bouncing up and down in excitement.

“I mean we could take you up to the bedroom right now and start the fun immediately.” Emmett smirked looking you up and down with suggestive eyes.

“Emmett!” You all said collectively.

“What? What did I say wrong? Don’t tell me you all haven't been thinking the same thing.”

Tomorrow just couldn’t get here fast enough.

#cullen poly #poly #twilight #cullen romance #carlisle cullen #edward cullen #rosalie cullen #jasper cullen #esme cullen #xreader #x reader #rosalie cullen xreader #jasper hale x y/n #edward cullen x reader #esme cullen x reader #poly cullen x reader #cullen x reader #carlisle x reader #twilight x reader

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tootiecakes234 · 5 months

Text

Warnings: cheating Katsuki (not on you tho, but with you, eventual smut next part)

Bakugo’s POV

I hate her. I hate her, yet she’s always around. She’s raccoon eyes’ best friend so that means she at every party, every hang out, and every sleepover. I can’t fucking escape her.

She’s so goddamn annoying. Always starting up conversations with me about shit I don’t care about. She laughs at the shit I say, but I’m not being funny, I’m being deadass serious. And don’t get me started on the way she laughs. She does it with her entire body and it’s loud too. Pisses me off so bad.

She’s a problem for me because the more I hang out with her, the more I can’t stop thinking about her.

I have a girlfriend. A great fucking girlfriend. She’s sweet, too sweet to be dating me, and kind. Probably the most thoughtful person I’ve ever met, so explain to me why when I’m with her and I’m thinking about Y/N. She’s literally invading my waking thoughts as well as my dreams.

I’ve tried distancing myself from her and being more of a jackass hoping she’d get fed up and just leave me the hell alone but nothing works and I’m running out of options.

We were having a movie night at Kaminari’s apartment tonight. I was in the kitchen cooking dinner, by myself, the way I prefer it.

“Heeey. How’s it going Kit Kat”, she was all cheeks and smiles

“I told you to stop fucking calling me that you idiot.”

“But it’s the cutest nickname I can think of. You have any other suggestions??”, she looked at me like she was being serious.

I turned to her, giving her my full attention so she knew I was being serious, “Bakugo. You can call me Bakugo like everybody else.

“Your friends don’t call you Bakugo, they all call you Katsuki.”, the insane woman still had a warm smile sitting on her lips. There was also a really shiny lipgloss on them too. Did it have sparkles in it? Why did her lips look so-

“Hello?? Are you ok?” She started walking towards me.

“I’m fucking fine. I’d be better if you got the hell outta here.”, why the hell was she even in here. “ and yea my friends call me Katsuki, you’re not MY friend. You’re Mina’s friend. Speaking of which don’t you need to get back to her.” The last part came out more grumbled than firm the way I meant it to.

“No, she’s flirting with Eiji rn and I don’t wanna be a third wheel. Well I guess a fourth wheel cuz Denki is third wheeling.” Apparently she thought that was funny because she started chuckling to herself.

Her hair was all wild, framing her face and her cheeks… fuck me I don’t know what it is about her cheeks plumping up when she smiles or laughs.

“Well then go be a fourth wheel or whatever the hell. I’m cooking and I don’t like other people in my kitchen.”

“Your gf usually sits with you in here. Speaking of where is she? I haven’t seen her in forever and we need to catch up . She always gives the best gossip on you.”

“She had other shit to do and what kind of gossip does she tell about me???!”

“ oh nothing really”, she leaned over on the counter and her fucking tits were smooshed in between her arms.

“For the love of god can you please just get the fuck away from me?! How many times do I have to tell you that I don’t like you. I don’t wanna be your shitty friend or listen to whatever the hell it is you constitute as jokes. Just get the fuck out!”, that last part was a hell of a lot louder than I expected it to be.

That’s when the tear fell. What the hell had I done?

She reached up quickly and wiped it away.

“Hey, why are you yelling at her like that you jackass? Y/N are you ok?”, Mina was the first one in the kitchen. And the rest of them followed suit. All asking question I didn’t have answers to.

“You guys I’m fine. Really. We all know how he gets when he’s cooking. Let’s just go back in the living room and let him finish.”, she smiled again but it didn’t reach her eyes. Damn it all to hell I felt like worst person to ever exist.

“Are you sure you’re ok?”, Mina asked her again as everyone started retreating the the living room.

I wasn’t able to hear her answer. I tried to put the whole thing outta my head and finish what I was doing but I couldn’t. It kept replaying in my head.

My phone brought be back to the present. Who the heel was calling me? When I looked down at the contact my girlfriend’s name was sitting there. Perfect fucking timing.

“Hello”

“Hey baby. What are you up to”, she sounded giddy.

“Im finishing up dinner, where are you?”

“On the way back my friends house. We are having a slumber party.”, he words were a little slurred.

“So I guess you guys have already started drinkin.”

“Haha yep.”, I heard someone in the background telling her to get off the phone. No boy calls at girls night. “Well I gotta go doll. My friends are getting upset with me. Love you!”

She hung up before I could even say it back. Women.

I had everything ready to go now, so I went out to tell the idiots it was time to eat.

She was gone.

“Is Y/N in the bathroom or something??”

Mina looked at me like she was ready to murder me, “ no she left. You yelled at her and hurt her feelings and she didn’t wanna stay. We tried to convince her.”

“Yea bro I think she was about to start crying. Why’d you yell at her like that?”, Eijirou said.

“She’s so cool. I don’t know why you don’t like her. You’ve been mean to her since she started hanging out with us.”, Denki chimed in

“Mina send me her address.” I grabbed my keys and started heading for the door.

“Why would I do that when she’s upset with you? You gonna go over there and yell at her some more cuz let me tell you-“

“I’m going to fucking apologize, so just send me the goddamn address.”

I got in my car and started driving. What the hell was I doing? Why am I going over here? I could give a rats ass about hurting someone’s feelings but here I am with my GPS on looking for her apartment building.

I got up to her door and paused because I knew that I should turn around. I knew I should just let the whole thing blow over but like the idiot I am, my hand starts banging on her front door.

I hear muffled through the door, “coming”

She opened the door and looked at my face. Had my foot not been in the door, she would’ve slammed it close.

“Move your foot before I stomp the shit out of it.”

I could feel the smirk pulling at my lips, “these are steal toe boots. I’d like to see you try.”, I told her.

“What do you want Bakugo? Why are you paying unwanted visits to my house? How did you even get my goddamn address?”, she looked disgusted with me. That’s fair. Also didn’t miss that she was calling me by my last name.

“Mina gave me your address. I’m coming to bring your back.”,

Part 2

#imagine #bakugou x reader #mha fanfiction #bakugou drabble #drabble #katsuki bakugo mha #bakugou katsuki x reader #bakugo headcanons #bakugou katsuki #fluff #katsuki x reader #cheater katsuki

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chamomiletealeaf · 2 months

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Sweet as Pie

Chapter 4

The willow tree was the biggest Simon had ever seen. It's long branches and leaves swayed in the light breeze and he found himself staring at it, admiring it in its grandeur.

"Pretty, i'n it?" You ask him, standing with him in front of the tree.

Not as pretty as you He thought.

"Gorgeous." Simon said, but he meant it more towards you than the tree.

"C'mon, come sit." You urged him along, as you moved the willow's leaves out the way, and you disappeared behind them.

He followed you and sat in the shade of the tree, wrapped and hidden away by the Weeping Willow, facing the lake. It was truly such a calming and beautiful sight. But yet again, Simon just couldn't focus on anything other than you and how your hair reminded him of the branches of the tree, just falling so gracefully and perfectly.

"I sit here a lot when I need somewhere quiet away from the house." You tell him with a smile as you stare at the lake, the both of you sitting against the tree's trunk.

"Y'know, I think there's some kind of magic in this tree." You continue. "No matter what could be goin' on, the world could be endin' and yet this tree will stay it's same, quiet self. And anything hidden behind it's leaves is immune to anything outside of them. It's like... A force field. A safety net. Everything, all the noise and bad things, just get left outside when you walk behind this wall of leaves."

"Feels that way." Simon responded. "You seem to know this place really well. You been here a while?" He asks.

"Been here all my life. House was my auntie's. One day she told me: 'y/n? When I'm dead an' gone this place gon' be yours. Keep it alive for me.' That's why I keep so many plants in it. To keep the life in that house my auntie always had. Treat em' like my babies." You confessed.

"I can see that." Simon joked, referring to not too long ago when he saw you dancing and taking care of them.

You laughed, and surprisingly, so did he.

"So what about you?" You asked, shifting the conversation.

"What is a handsome man like you doin' all the way out here alone?" You teased as you nudged his shoulder, a boldness taking over you.

Handsome? She thinks I'm handsome? Simon thought, and that damned blush he hated made it's way back onto his face for the umpteenth time.

"Military." He answered. "My best friend in my Task Force nearly died by a shot to the temple. I never thought my life meant anything which is why I dedicated it to the military but when I almost lost him, it was a wake up call. I realized I had something to live for, and I knew I shouldn't take life for granted so I wanted to try and do something for myself."

You looked at him with sympathy, listening to him intently.

"So, I bought that house to at least get a breath of air before I take my last. To experience something good for once."

Simon was shocked with how much he let slip out, but for some reason, he felt like he could trust you with his life.

"I'm sorry about your friend. I'm glad he's ok." You comfort him. "That must've been real scary. But I'm glad you're doin' something good for yourself. You deserve it. I'm sure he's happy for you too." You punctuated your sentence with a smile, and Simon smiled back.

You both sat there under the willow tree getting to know each other until the sun was just beginning to set.

"Simon?" You ask him.

"Hm." He answers.

"Would you like to come over for dinner tonight?" You ask softly and hopefully, and Simon's brain short circuits. Were you... actually interested in a man like him? Or maybe you were just being friendly.

"I'd love that." He says.

You smile at him again as you begin to stand up.

"Well, hope you like Shepherd's pie, sugar, cuz' i've been dyin' to bust out the ol' recipe for it." You brush off your cardigan and wrap it around yourself.

Simon stands up and brushed himself off, flattered that you want to cook for him. You were too sweet to him, and he wondered what he ever did in his life or past one to deserve the company of you.

"That sounds lovely." He smiles down at you and the both of you make your way back to your house.

As you two enter your little yellow house, Simon admires how nice it is. He looks at all your well-loved plants and the little trinkets adorning your shelves. He looks at your patterned furniture in the living room and notices a really old looking white wooden rocking chair with the paint peeling off of it in the corner. In it sat a dark green wool knit blanket. It looked so warm and comfortable, and he wondered how it felt compared to his old black and navy blue bedding.

"Well, here it is. This is home." You say proudly, closing the front door behind you two.

"It's lovely." He says, still looking at the blanket and rocking chair.

You notice him staring at it and take note of his curiosity.

"That's aunties old rocking chair. Been in the family for years. She used to sit in it and knit me all kinds of clothes. Now I sit in it and knit too. Made that there blanket myself." You tell him, gesturing to it.

"You made that?" He asks in shock. It was a huge blanket, and it looked so well made. Of course you made something so perfect like that. What couldn't you do?

"Yeah" You beam up at him. "Here." You say, and go to grab it from the rocking chair. You bring it back to him and wrap it around his shoulders.

"There you go hun'. It's yours." You say and wink at him.

He goes to take the blanket off his shoulders in protest.

"Oh no I, I can't take this you must have spent so much time on it."

"Oh please that's nothin', I saw the few boxes you brought into that house of yours, you ain't never gonna find yourself a nice blanket like this one. Trust me." You joke to reassure him as you grab his wrists to stop his movements and you wrap the blanket back around his shoulders.

Did she just, grab my wrists? Simon thought, the action taking him off guard and he felt heat run through his body that wasn't from the blanket.

Fuck stop stop stop don't blush He told to himself, or more to the blood rushing to his face.

"It's your color anyway." You say, taking a step back to look how the dark color brought out the brown of his eyes. Were his eyes always such a pretty, rich, honey color?

"Come on an' sit at the table while I get this started." You tell him, and he secretly liked how assertive you were. You wanted to take care of him, which is something Simon never experienced before. It made his heart melt.

He watched you cook for him and how you hushed him when he offered to help, and he felt a smile creep it's way onto his face. There was something so... intimate about what you were doing for him.

"You sure you don't want me to help?" He asked again.

"Oh hush now with all that, you just sit there and look pretty while I fix this up for you. Excited for you to try it. Haven't made this in forever." You tell him with a smile.

His heart jumped once again at your coddling, calling him pretty this time. God he was gonna have to make a list of all the sweet things you called him to remember them all for the nights he's feeling lonely. Or maybe, you would be there to tell him directly.

You placed a plate of shepherd's pie down in front of Simon and one for you across from him. You then set out two glasses and went to the fridge to take out a pitcher of iced tea. With a mischievous smile, you poured some into both glasses and sat down. Little did Simon know, he was gonna taste the sweetest, most tooth rotting iced tea he's ever gonna have.

"Thank you y/n." Simon said, then took a sip of the iced tea. You brought your own glass to your lips and took a sip as well.

Then Simon placed his glass down with a coughing fit and you let out a cackle.

"Bloody hell what did you put in that?" Simon asked between coughs and you were losing it.

"That right there, is some authentic southern sweet tea baby." You laughed.

"Christ if a bullet doesn't kill me that sure will." He laughed, his coughing subsiding.

"Well do you like it at least?" You ask.

Simon took another sip, preparing himself this time, then nodded after a second.

"Yeah... I could get used to it." He smiled at you, and you smiled back.

"Go on an' eat now, look like you haven't had a thing all day." You said, as you picked up your fork to try your freshly prepared meal.

Simon did the same, and when he took a bite of the Shepherd's pie, he swears he'd never tasted anything better in his life.

"Holy shit." He says with his mouth full.

You look up at him from your plate with wide eyes, hoping he likes it.

"This is the best damn thing I've ever had." He said, taking bite after bite.

You giggle, glad he enjoys it so much.

"Really? Ok good, I was nervous. Haven't made it in a while." You confess with the biggest smile on your face, watching the big man in front of you eat like he hasn't in weeks.

By the time you finish your plate, Simon has already finished two and downed his sweet tea.

"I haven't had a meal like that since before the military." Simon says, leaning back in his char satisfied, wrapping the blanket back around his shoulders.

You finish off the rest of your sweet tea then place the glass down to answer him.

"What? Really?" You ask in shock and horror, wondering why this mountain of a man hasn't been eating the way he's supposed to.

"Oh baby we gotta change that." You say with a laugh.

There it is again. Simon thinks. Baby.

He doesn't know how to react, all the affection he's receiving from you, someone he just met, was more than any affection he's had his entire life.

"Here, lemme help you clean up." Simon offers, standing up and grabbing his plate.

But you stand up too and reach for the plate in his hands.

"Uh-uh, I got it, you're a guest tonight." You say, hands going to take his plate.

Simon pulls it back so you can't grab it.

"No no please, you've done so much for me already. I got it." He says, and you stand there for a second, considering.

"Ok." You say, giving in to his warm, brown puppy eyes he's giving you.

"Just place it right there in the sink." You tell him.

After you two clean up, Simon realizes how late it got. Time with you seemed to fly.

"Well, I better get home now." He says sadly, not wanting to let the night end, but he doesn't want to keep you up taking care of him. "Thank you so much again, y/n." He says, smiling down at you in the kitchen.

"You're welcome, Simon." You say, now smiling up at him.

You two stay there for a few seconds, just smiling at each other, enjoying each other's presence and proximity.

"Here, lemme walk you out." You say, breaking the moment first.

You both walk to the front door together, him trailing behind you and taking note of how cute the sway of your hips is as you walk. You open the door for him and you both look at each other again.

"Goodnight, y/n, I had a good time." Simon says.

"You're welcome, me too." You reply. Then you notice he doesn't have the blanket you gave him. Your eyes widen and you gasp, making Simon's eyebrow rise in concern.

"Oh my god, wait, your blanket!" You say and hurry off to the kitchen where the blanket was draped over the kitchen table's chair and bring it back to him.

"Here you are honey." You say, as you reach up on your toes to place it around his shoulders.

Simon grips the ends of the blanket and tugs it the rest of the way around his shoulders.

"Don't want you to forget that." You smile up at him. "You're gonna sleep real well with that, trust me." You say.

"I'm sure I will. Thank you." He says, smiling back.

"Goodnight Simon." You tell him softly, smile never leaving your face.

"Goodnight y/n." He reciprocates in the same soft tone.

He turns to walk out the door and onto the porch, then looks back at you before turning around to make his way back to his house.

You lean in the doorway, crossing your arms over your chest as you watch him walk away, feeling warm despite the night's brisk air, then you return back into your house when he reaches his own, smiling to yourself for the rest of the night.

Simon makes his way to his room, but not before looking at your house through his kitchen window one last time, watching the lights turn off inside them.

He enters his room and sits on his bed, wrapping the blanket still on his shoulders tighter around himself. He lays down, bringing it up to his nose to take in the scent of your house, trying to etch it into his brain forever.

He gets lost in how warm the blanket is and how it smells so much like you that his eyelids get too heavy before he can change into his night clothes. The thought and smell of you overwhelms his senses in the best way and he finds himself falling asleep to their comfort.

And as he slept, not a single nightmare creeped it's way into his mind. How could they? His mind was already occupied with dreams of you.

taglist: @pussypinkbarbie @thatonepupkai @confuseddipshit

#call of duty #cod #cod mw #cod mw2 #cod mw3 #simon ghost riley #simon riley #ghost #ghost cod #simon ghost riley x reader #simon riley x reader #ghost cod x reader #ghost x reader #mommy kink simon riley #mommy kink simon #mommy kink simon riley x reader #mommy kink simon x reader #sweet as pie

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dbnightingale24 · 1 month

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My Little Decoy

A StevexReaderxBucky Messy Triangle

Another story for Patreon! So, for this one, I'm a bit anxious (when am I not?), because this definitely took off in the complete opposite direction of what I initially planned. That being said, I hope you all enjoy it!

Thank you as always to @fuckingbye for the amazing moodboard, I love you to bits for literally everything you do! I was in the middle of updating three other stories when this idea came to me, so please just work with me! (I'm so sorry I'm like this.)

Anywho, here we go!

Word Count: 34,776 (I'm not even gonna apologize anymore)

Warnings: Honestly, this entire fucking story. SMUT (MINORS DNI 18+ ONLY), Threesome, Lying, Infidelity, Emotional Cheating, Swearing, Drinking, Infertility, Family Drama, Angst, Lusting, Daddy Kink, Running Away, Tie Play, Cuff Play, Crying, Fluff, Best friends to lovers...that's all I can think of? They're honestly so many.

Song(s) That Inspired This Chapter: Don't Look So Blue, You Should've Seen Right Thru, I'm Using You, My Little Decoy

Summary: You truly do have the best intentions when you try to move on and suppress your feelings for your best friend Steve, and try to move on with Bucky. Unfortunately, life doesn't give a damn about intentions. Neither does love.

I do not give consent/permission for my stories/works to get posted elsewhere. I do not condone this type of behavior, this is for entertainment purposes only.

You wonder how the hell it got to this point in the first place as you lay in Steve’s soft bed sheets. What feels like it should be a quiet moment of peace is juxtaposed with your current reality; Bucky pounding on the front door and you and Steve conspiring to think of some kind- any kind- of excuse.

You truly don’t understand how it got to this.

It all feels like it started so long ago. You didn’t even know 6 years could feel so fast, much less pass so quickly. You look around at where you are now, at Steve, as you listen to the shaking of the front door against Bucky’s fist as he continues thumping away. Fuck. What if memories lie? Maybe it is that long ago.

6 Years Earlier...

“Babe, you ever had a night out in the city?” Bucky asked as you took off your gear.

Training was brutal and everyone was looking for a way to relieve stress. You knew The Avengers were all planning to meet up at some club downtown, but you had other plans.

“I have, and as much fun as it can be, I have other plans,” you laugh as you take your hair out of the tightest ponytail you’d ever had it in.

“Oh? What are you getting into?” Natasha laughs, making her way over with Bruce holding onto her as if he’d lose her.

“My friend’s band is playing tonight. I promised her I’d go if we finished up early enough.”

“Oh, this I gotta see!” Bruce chimes in as you laugh and shake your head. “You never let us have a peak into your personal life!”

“God, I haven’t been to a show in forever,” Natasha chimes in with raised eyebrows.

He wasn’t wrong. You played everything so close to the chest; wanting to keep those you love and care for the most safe...wanting to keep yourself safe. Since none of them were relenting (not to mention they’re the damn Avengers), you finally agreed and told them to meet you outside of your room at the compound in about two hours.

“Is it too late for me to get in on this?” Steve asks just as the group was about to disperse.

“There you are!” Bucky interjects before anyone has a chance to say anything. “Y/N is giving us a peak into her personal life! We’re all meeting at her place in two hours and going from there,” he laughs patting his best friend on the back.

Steve looked at you with a cocked eyebrow and you just laugh and nod, giving him the ‘OK’ to tag along. Unbeknownst to the others, you and Steve hung out the most. No, he’d never been privy to your personal life, but you two spent a lot of time watching movies and listening to music together on the weekends. Occasionally, Bucky would get in on the action, but it was mainly you and Steve. You and Steve had a certain level of comfort that you didn’t have with the rest of them. It was more of an unspoken, private thing and that’s how the both of you preferred it. You both understood each other, and neither of you ever made the other feel sad or out of place for things that had gone wrong in each other’s past. You both had wounds you were still healing from, and you gave each other the space needed for that to happen.

You’d always had a thing for Steve. He kept himself at a distance, so it was difficult for you to tell if he ever felt the same. After a while, you’d stopped trying and just accepted him as a friend. He told you that he’d wanted to go back and stay with Peggy, but he was too afraid to leave Bucky on his own again, so he’d come back instead. He wasn’t even sure if Bucky would ever be okay with being alone; Steve just stayed without asking him. It seemed like the right thing to do, and he didn’t hate the current timeline too much.

Soon enough, everyone is in your small little complex, drinking and laughing as you put together the last bit of your outfit. The thought of Steve joining all of you had you more anxious than you cared to admit, so you chalked it up to the normal anxiety of inviting your work colleagues into your personal life.

Which was more than fair.

“I’m sure you look amazing, lets go! I’m too excited for this!” Natasha hollers as she makes her way into your bedroom.

“Nat!”

“Oh, they’re all in there drinking away! You’re fine,” she laughs, closing the door behind her. “Well shit!”

“I swear to God, I’ll change right now!”

“No! You look amazing!” she promised as her hands covered her mouth. “None of us have ever seen you out of work clothes, and babe...you look amazing,” she laughs in shock.

“Should I change? I don’t want to give anyone the wrong idea-”

“If you’re comfortable, who cares. No one wants to interfere with your personal life. I think we’re all more afraid of pushing you away,” she laughs.

“You really think it’s okay?”

“I mean, I think you’re hot as fuck,” she laughed as you rolled your eyes, “but I think you look amazing.”

“You sure?”

“Get enough alcohol in them , they won’t even notice when you leave for the bathroom,” she laughed.

Even though you laughed along with her, you knew better. James Buchanan Barnes kept his attention on you almost as well as Steve, but you never thought anything of it. It always had a more platonic feeling than with Steve, almost more familial.

When you came out, Steve was the first to look at you. His mouth slightly agape was enough to make you wanna go back, but Bucky was quick to chime in-

“Someone is ready for a night out,” he laughed.

That’s all it took.

Soon enough, you were taking shots and laughing with everyone else. Even Pepper and Tony were excited and joined you all. Your life was something so foreign to them, and you could tell that they all felt extremely excited that you trusted them enough.

In all honesty, you felt more comfortable because Steve was there. You knew he’d never let anything happen to you, and you’d never let anything happen to him. If you were being completely honest, you’d only wanted to invite him out. How it spiraled, you’re still not sure but it did. It The only thing that felt off was letting him see you dressed as you were. It was weird for all of them to see you dressed as you were, but Steve couldn’t take his eyes off you.

You were in red plaid crop top, with tight fighting black jeans that hugged your hips in just the right way, and black low top heels. You put your hair in loose curls, and finished it off with eyeliner and mascara. After a brutal day of training, you really didn’t wanna spend forever doing your makeup, because you knew you’d wanna come home after everything was over and go right back to sleep. Yeah, everything was hugging your body in just the right way, but you weren’t about to change.

You were introducing them to your life.

Before you all left, Thor filled three flasks with his mead from Asgard for himself, Steve, and Bucky and you laughed pretty damn hard.

“We wanna enjoy this night too,” he winked at you as you rolled your eyes.

The walk was easy enough, but it felt like it took forever. People kept asking for pictures with the OG Avengers, they had a million questions, and of course they were all happy to be as kind as possible. It’s not that you minded all that much, but you really missed your best friend. Work had been kicking your ass, she had been extremely busy, and was in the middle of planning her wedding. Nights off were extremely rare, but actually getting to see her and her friends perform? It had been forever.

“You made it!” she squealed once you were finally inside the club with everyone, almost knocking you over with how hard she hugged you.

“I told you I’d show! Even if I would’ve only caught the last song,” you laughed as you hugged her back just as tight. “We still on for drinks after?”

“Fuck yes! Your tits look amazing in this top, we’re definitely getting free drinks out of it,” she beamed with a wink and you burst out laughing. “Okay, I’ve seen all of you on TV, but I still wanna officially meet everyone,” she smiled at everyone. “I’m Meg.”

As everyone went around introduced themselves, you made your way to the bar, to grab your signature Jack and Coke.

“Hell yes! You made it!” Meg’s finance, Paul, beamed as he made your drink.

“Why is everyone so shocked that I’m here?!”

“You haven’t been to a show in years!”

“Blah, blah, blah,” you muttered as you reached behind the bar and grabbed his pack of cigarettes.

“You bring the Avengers with you and you dare to steal from me?” he sneered sarcastically as he handed you your drink.

You laughed as you reached across the bar and kissed his cheek, “I’m sure our friendship will survive it.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. Dude, I had no idea the place would be so packed tonight.”

“I have a feeling everyone here had a long ass Friday.” “Yeah, well they better treat my baby right.” “You two!”

He rolled his eyes as he flipped you off, “enjoy the show!”

“Thank you, Paaauuullll,” you sang out as everyone joined you.

You looked up to see Steve staring at you intently, and he quickly turned towards the stage when he realized he was caught. Before you could allow yourself to think on it or feel flattered, you heard your best friend yell from the stage as she started to make her guitar scream.

“We’re ‘Flowers of Cinnamon’, and thanks for spending your Friday night with us!”

From that moment on, you were barely paying attention to your surroundings. With the exception of your drink, you didn’t focus on anything other than your best friend rocking the fuck out. It had always just been a hobby for her, but she had always been so damn good at it. You envied how effortlessly performing came to her. The band was a cross between Paramore, The Bangles, and All Time Low, and they were just as amazing as you remembered. You wouldn’t have been able to stay still even if you’d wanted to. You sang and danced along to every song, bouncing around, and screaming your head off. You had no clue that Steve had been watching you with the biggest grin on his face, Bucky had been watching your chest bounce up and down, or that Tony had been recording your reaction to your best friend’s music, smiling so hard at your happiness.

Every other song, your best friend made eye contact with you and laughed, and nothing else seemed to matter. Thinking back on it, you wished it had, because maybe things wouldn’t have gotten so fucked up, but you were just so damn happy. The more drinks got, the more you danced and sang around, finally feeling comfortable and happy, even with your new set of friends watching you.

“Okay, this is gonna be our last song for the night,” Meg smiled into the microphone and she laughed at amount of “boos” they received. “Listen, I wanna get fucked up too!” she joked, gaining laughs from the crowd. “Okay, so tonight is extremely special because my best friend on the entire planet is here and brought her friends with her! Thanks babe! So, our last song is gonna be a cover of one of her favorite songs ever,” she winked at you as you cocked an eyebrow.

As soon as you heard the first cord of ‘Decoy’ by Paramore hum out of the speakers, you screamed so loud that everyone in your group (and Paul) started laughing.

‘Close your eyes and make believe that this is where you wanna be

Forgetting all the memories, try to forget love cause love’s forgotten me

Well hey, hey baby, it’s never too late

Pretty soon you won’t remember a thing

All I’ll be distant, the stars reminiscing

Your heart’s been wasted on me’

You sang along so effortlessly as you started to jump up and down.

‘You’ve never been so used as I’m using you, abusing you

My little decoy

Don’t look so blue, you should’ve seen right through

I’m using you, my little decoy

My little decoy’

You linked arms with Nat, who clearly didn’t know the song, but was more than happy to sing and dance along with you. You glanced around and it made you so happy to see everyone else happy and having a good time. It’s not like you were a stick in the mud at work but, you never let loose. Even when it came to holiday and birthday parties, you were pretty damn reserved. The only person who can claim that they’ve seen you fucked up is Steve, and even then it was just you being wine drunk on the sofa while you two listened to albums and discussed work.

No, this was you letting lose and everyone accepting it. Accepting you. You looked over at Steve and he a look of pure love and adoration in his eyes, and it made your heart swell.

God, you wished you would’ve paid more attention to the way both he and Bucky looked at you that night, but you were just so damn happy and having so much fun.

If you could turn back time...

“Am I still okay at singing?” Meg asked once she finally made her way over to all of you.

“Dude, you’re still fucking amazing!” you beamed as you wrapped her in a tight hug and she laughed. “That was so good! Thank you for playing ‘Decoy’, almost making me cry!”

“Aha!” she teased before she looked at everyone else. “What about Earth’s mightiest heroes? Were you all able to tolerate it?”

“That was amazing,” Tony laughed, Pepper nodding in agreement.

“Why don’t you do this full time?” Nat asked as you waived Paul down and got another drink for both you and Meg.

“If I did this full time, I’d be so stressed all the damn time,” Meg laughed, “I’m much happier painting.”

“What do you paint? Do you have a studio?” Clint inquired and a smile came to your face.

Things were going better than you could have ever imagined.

As everyone got acquainted, you snuck to have a smoke. A few moments later, a smile came to your face when you saw Steve come out after you.

“You said you’re quitting those,” he nodded towards the cigarette in your hand.

“I stole Paul’s,” you laughed, standing a little further from him so as to not get the smoke in his face.

“I can handle it,” he laughed as he placed his black leather jacket on you. “You’re pretty...exposed and I don’t want you getting cold.”

“Well, aren’t you just the sweetest man?” you teased before you inhaled your cancer stick. “Who else knows about this? I’ll call the ‘New York Times’” He snickered as he shook his head, “quiet you.”

“Are you having fun tonight?”

“I am, I like you seeing like this.”

You scoffed, “crazy?” “Happy...content. Secure.”

You felt your cheeks heat up at his words, and the look he gave you along with it, had butterflies appearing in your stomach.

“We should get back inside,” you smiled at up at him as you ashed the last of your cigarette and threw it in the nearby trash bin.

And maybe that’s when it started.

You just missed all the signs that night, because you were convinced Steve didn’t want you.

He convinced you he didn’t want you.

When the two of you got back inside, Paul had just finished up his shift and the guys had finished helping Meg back up her equipment which she had decided to lock up in the manager’s office for the night.

“Dancing! We need dancing!” she whined once her eyes landed on you.

“Hell yeah we do,” you laughed as you linked arms with both her and Nat.

Once again, you didn’t notice the way Bucky ogled you or the way Steve kept a close eye on you. When you all reached the next bar, you instantly ordered more drinks and pulled Nat and Meg onto the dance floor with you, still wearing Steve’s coat. He leaned against the bar, talking with Tony and Pepper, but still kept an eye on you. As Janet Jackson’s voiced filled the giant building, you danced around with the biggest smile on your face (at some point Meg had put her sunglasses on your face), smiling and waiving at Bucky when you saw his eyes glued to you.

Well, glues to your ass.

By the time everyone was ready to call it a night, you were drunk as shit.

“You’re not coming back to the compound?” Nat asked as she stumbled out after you.

“Nah, I wanna sleep in my own space tonight. It’s closer,” you giggled as you started giving out hugs.

“I can take you,” Bucky offered with a slick grin.

“I can take her, she’s on the way to my house,” Steve countered, and Meg cocked an eyebrow at you.

You just started dancing and walking.

“Goodnight everyone! Get home safe! I love you all!”

You were drunk, tired, and in no mood to figure out whatever that was about. You just wanted to go home and get in your bed. You honestly don’t know why you didn’t go back to the compound that night, but it just felt right to go to your own home. You already spent so little time there to begin with. A few moments later, you heard the hurried footsteps of someone behind you, but you kept looking ahead.

“You’re impatient when you’re drunk,” Steve laughed as he came up beside you.

A small smile came to your face at the fact that Steve was the one to walk you home.

You giggled as you leaned into him, “my feet hurt.”

No sooner than you said it, he scooped you up.

“Steve!”

“You weigh nothing, don’t worry about it, darlin.” “It’s a 30 minute walk!”

“I’m very well aware of where your apartment is.” “Steve-”

“Hush.”

You pouted but did as you were told, leaned into him, and took in the scent that was all his own. Something between woodsy and fresh cut grass. In your drunken state, he felt like home.

“Why didn’t you want Bucky to take me home?” you asked after a few moments, not missing the way he stiffened a bit.

“He’s a little buzzed and he gets a little handsy and flirty at times. I didn’t want him to bother you.” You giggled as you took in more of his scent, “you’re literally carrying me, Steve.” “You said your feet hurt.” “Are you a little buzzed?”

“I definitely don’t feel sober,” he chuckled softly and you softly sighed at the comfort of rumble in his chest.

“Do you wanna sleepover?”

“I’ll order a car service once I drop you off.”

“Why not order one now?”

“It was weird...everyone hanging out tonight. I feel like we haven’t hung out alone together in a while.” “Then why not sleepover?”

“Cause I should go home. I don’t wanna accidentally wake you up or something. You worked hard today and you need rest.” “So did you.” “Y/N.” “You’re so weird sometimes, Steve,” you huffed as you laced your hand with his.

“What are you doing?”

“Holding your hand like I’ve done a million times before. What’s wrong?” “Nothing.”

You rolled your eyes and mumbled, “alright weirdo.” “I’m not being weird.”

“You’re not being normal.”

He let out a frustrated huff, “did you have fun tonight?”

“So much fun, I’m so happy you came out.”

“I’ve missed you, darlin.” “I’ve missed you too. Steve?”

“Hmm?”

“Sleepover.”

“Y/N-” “See? You are being weird. You’ve slept over my place a ton before, in my bed, and it wasn’t weird. What’s so different about tonight?”

He muttered, “so many things.” “Like what?”

“It’s just been a long night.”

“Fine, whatever. Go home, see if I give a fuck.” “Hey!”

“You’re being weird and you won’t tell me why. You know I hate when you do that shit.”

“I just think I should sleep in my own bed, darlin’. I’m not trying to be weird or make you upset.”

He sounded so strained and you couldn’t read his facial expression, so you couldn’t see how torn up he was. You couldn’t tell how much he was at war with himself.

You couldn’t tell how much he wanted you.

He chuckled when you didn’t say anything, “don’t get quiet on me now.”

“Can you at least stay until I fall asleep? It won’t take long.” “Everything okay, darlin’?”

“Yeah Steve, I just miss you,” you confessed softly.

“We’ll do a sleepover tomorrow, alright? We’ll have it at my house.” “Fine.” “Don’t be upset.” “I don’t care.” “You’re also a giant brat when you’re drunk.” “You’re saying that you miss me, but won’t spend time with me!”

God, you sounded like a brat to your own ears. That was a huge part as to why you’d never let him see you so inebriated. It’s why you never wanted anyone from The Avengers (or S.H.I.E.L.D for that matter) to see you so drunk. It became harder for you to suppress your feelings for Steve, and he’s all you wanted when you were drunk. For reasons unknown to you (at the time), Steve wanted to go home. That should’ve been enough, but your drunk wanted to hold him all night.

You were going out of your way to start an argument.

He let out a heavy sigh as he reached your complex, “I’ll stay-”

“Don’t do me any fucking favors-” “Will stop arguing with me? And stop with swearing, you know I hate it.” “Well maybe I hate you.”

He scoffed hard at that, “no you don’t.”

“You don’t know that-”

“Yes I do, so stop saying it. I’ll stay, okay?”

“And you’ll sleep next to me?”

“Yes darlin’, I will sleep next to you.”

You pressed a soft kiss to his neck and you felt his grip on you get tighter, “thank you, Steve!”

“Anything for you, sweetheart.”

That night, he was good to his word and slept next to you, letting use his chest as a pillow and you were asleep almost instantly. The next day, he was back to normal and you didn’t think anything of his behavior from the previous night. You had no reason to. However, from that day on, things did slowly start to change more.

It started with Bucky coming around more, especially when Steve was with you. You couldn’t sense it, because has always been entirely too good at hiding his emotions, but he slowly became frustrated. So much that he basically stopped coming around all together.

“Hey, are you busy?” you asked timidly as you approached his office one day.

“Yeah, unfortunately.” “Oh...okay then-”

“What’s wrong?”

“No, you’re busy and I don’t wanna take up your time...”

You could feel your eyes welling up and didn’t know why. Steve always had a way of making you so damn soft and vulnerable, and you truly hated it.

You still hate it.

“Darlin’-” “Please stop calling me that. The guy who started calling me that doesn’t seem to exist anymore. If he does, he’s making sure to stay away from me.”

“He still exists-” “Then what’s going on? Why are you staying away from me?”

He sighed as he threw down his pen, “nothing-”

“Alright, if you’re just gonna lie to me-” “I’m not lying!”

“Steve, you saw me walking with Bucky yesterday and literally turned in the other direction and walked away.” “You guys are just hanging out a lot now and I don’t wanna third wheel-” “You wouldn’t third wheeling! We’re just friends!”

“Y/N...” “Steve, why are you just abandoning me? You’re the one I’m closest to and you know that. You’ve always known that,” you sobbed as you closed the door behind you.

“Please don’t cry-” “Then why are you abandoning me?! What did I do wrong?!”

“Nothing-”

“Then what the fuck?! You’ve been acting so strange, but you’re saying I haven’t done anything! If I didn’t do anything, what the fuck is going on with you?!”

He let out another frustrated sigh and just stared at you, clearly at war with himself.

“Fuck this and fuck you, I give up,” you sobbed as you dried your eyes.

“Darlin��”

“Stop calling me that! I’m just Y/N and you’re just Steve. I can’t do this with you anymore!”

After you stormed out, things only got worse, because you’d never felt so low and alone in your life. Unless it had to do with a mission or training, you barely even looked his way. The farther you got away from Steve, the more Bucky swooped in. In fact, the more you look at how everything happened, you realize that things wouldn’t have gotten so bad if you’d just shut things down with the both of them.

However, it’s not as if thinking with a broken heart ever lead to a good thing.

You cried a lot and Bucky was just there for you. He was sweet, he listened, and let you keep your secrets. Sure, he asked what happened between you and Steve (everyone was), but he dropped it when you told him you wouldn’t be talking about it.

You can’t explain what you don’t know.

“Hey doll, we’re goin’ out tonight. You wanna come? Invite Meg!” Bucky asked one night after you let him in your apartment on the compound.

“Nah, I’ve got a hot date with a black and white French film and a few glasses of wine,” you smiled weakly.

“You can’t stay in here forever.”

“I don’t. Sometimes I go home.” “Babe-”

“I just wanna stay in, Buck,” you sighed as someone else knocked on your door. “I guess I’m just the most popular girl in the world.”

When you opened it the second time, Steve stood there looking just as upset as you felt. Instead of even trying to attempt to hear him out, a rage flared up inside you and you had to force yourself to not shove him. As far as you were concerned, he had a lot of fucking nerve to show up at your place after all the shit that happened in his office.

“What?”

“I wanted to know if you’re coming out tonight-”

“No.”

“Well, can I come in and we can talk? I know I owe you an explanation-”

“I don’t want an explanation anymore, Steve,” you lied harshly, “I just want you to leave me alone. I stood in your office and cried like a fucking dumbass...that was a month ago. Now you wanna talk? Just leave things as they are.”

You truly wish you hadn’t spoken out of anger because none of it was true. You cried over him whenever you were alone, you missed hanging out with him, you missed falling asleep next to him...you missed Steve. Your Steve.

You’ve always been a hot head.

“Darlin-” “What have I told you about that?” “Y/N, just give me a few minutes-”

“No, go away. Unless it has to do with work, we don’t have anything to talk about.” “You don’t mean that,” he more pleaded than told you.

“I’ve never meant it more!”

“Y/N-”

Bucky sighed as he came up behind you, “she just needs to cool off, Pal.”

If you hadn’t been so upset and hurt you would’ve laughed at how wide Steve’s eyes got.

“We’ll talk to you tomorrow, okay?”

“I thought you were coming out. It was your idea in the first damn place,” Steve snapped.

“I don’t wanna leave Y/N while she’s this upset. She shouldn’t be alone right now.”

Steve opened his mouth to say something, but all that happened was he clenched his jaw and looked away before he stormed off, punching the wall on his way out.

You should’ve spoken to him. You should’ve gone after him. Instead you pushed past Bucky and made yourself your first glass of wine of the night.

“Babe-”

“Buck, if you’re gonna stay here tonight, please no lectures. I just wanna be upset, okay?”

He just nodded solemnly, “I get it. No lectures, just drinks and weird French movies,” he smirked and you quietly laughed.

Here’s the thing: it’s not that you never found Bucky attractive, you just never thought about him. You were always thinking about Steve. However, at that time, thinking about Steve brought you too much pain and you didn’t want to feel anymore pain for a while. You just wanted to feel numb. You’d rather have nothing, the void, than hold onto the pain Steve’s brought on.

You rested your legs on him when he sat next to you, not thinking anything of it. When he started stroking your leg after the third glass of wine, you still didn’t think anything of it. You only started to pick up on his actions when he squeezed your thigh a little.

“Buck?”

“Yeah doll?” “What are you doing?”

“Trying to help you relax and feel better.”

“Buck-”

“I’ve never seen you this upset, babe. I just wanna help.”

The thought and the offer were tempting. You couldn’t remember the last time you had gotten off to something other than your vibrator. Of course you’d made subtle advances towards Steve, but he’d clearly turned you down. Plus, the women around the compound did talk. While Bucky had a reputation for being a skirt chaser, he also had a reputation for wearing women out in the best way.

It’s not like you were looking for anything. You just wanted to forget for awhile.

He tested the waters a bit more by sliding his hand further up your leg, waiting to see how you’d respond.

You placed your wine glass on the ground and opened your legs for him a bit, “you just wanna make me feel better?”

“So fuckin’ good, doll,” he husked, as he reached between your legs and easily ripped your panties off, “just lay back and enjoy, baby.”

His movements were slow, but his kisses were desperate. It felt good, but off. Not to mention you felt more guilty with every kiss he gave you, like you were betraying Steve.

‘Fuck Steve,’ you told yourself mentally, ‘he had his chance and he clearly didn’t want it.’

You closed your eyes in a vain attempt to shut out any thoughts of Steve, but that only made his face come to mind. You let out a sound between a moan and a frustrated grunt as you pulled Bucky’s hair.

“Please!”

“Tell me how bad you want it,” he smirked, his hot breath lapped at your pussy.

“So fucking bad, please! Need it!”

“Love seeing you like this,” he cooed, before he dipped down and dove in and his lewd moans filled the room.

This was the moment Bucky became your “decoy”. You didn’t want him in the same way he wanted you, but part of you felt like he didn’t actually give a shit. Since he’d lost Nat to Bruce, Bucky wasn’t ever really looking for a relationship. He liked to play around, entertain a woman (or two) for a few months, then he’d move on. As far as you were concerned, that night was only supposed to be a one time thing.

“F-fuck!” you moaned, doing your best to be in the moment as you lulled your head back while he fucked you with his tongue and massaged your clit with his thumb. “Feels so good, Buck!”

You weren’t lying completely. It’s not as if Bucky was bad at eating you out, he just wasn’t the one you wanted doing it.

You felt him smirk against your folds, and started to grind your pussy against his face, forcing yourself to focus on all the pleasure you felt instead of everything else.

‘Steve doesn’t want you. Steve doesn’t want you. Stop thinking about Steve!’ you told yourself mentally.

When he switched up and started sucking on your clit, he easily pressed two fingers into your soaked folds. You felt the knot in your core tighten and snap.

“FUCK!” you cried out as you came hard and a few tears escaped your eyes.

You hated how the tears weren’t from pleasure, but you masked it well enough as he fucked you through your high.

“Take off that fuckin’ shirt, baby. Let me fuckin’ see you,” he husked as he took off his own shirt and started to undo his jeans.

You were quick to do as he said, taking all of him as you ignored how uncomfortable you felt being so bare beneath him as his mouth glistened with your juices.

You were doing this to feel better, so why weren’t you feeling any better?

“Waited so fuckin’ long, baby,” he groaned as he dipped down and worshiped each of your breasts while his thumb made little circles on your clit.

“Bucky!”

“I know baby, I’m gonna take care of you, gonna take such good care of you,” he moaned before you felt his tongue on the side of your neck, licking up little beads of sweat.

You took a deep breath and told yourself you wanted it as you felt him at your entrance. You wanted Bucky. You just needed to let yourself relax.

“Jesus, you’re fuckin’ tight!” he grunted as he pushed into you.

“Oh fuck!”

“I know you can take me, baby! Your wet little pussy is squeezing me so tight, baby!” “Please don’t stop,” you whimpered as you wrapped a leg around his waist, trying to hang on to him as he fucked into you hard and fast.

You wanted this. You agreed to this.

He pushed himself up with his metal arm and looked down at you adoringly, “wanted you for so long, doll. Waited for...ah fuck!”

To avoid feeling anymore guilt, you wrapped an arm around him to pull him close and kissed him passionately, moaning into his mouth when you felt him fill you to the brim. He rode out both your highs before he rested his forehead against yours.

“So good, baby. You tired?” he asked, breath still coming heavy.

You just closed your eyes and shook your head no.

“Good girl.”

Bucky kept at it for a while, not feeling any real pleasure until he brought you off (which you had to fake half the time). There was nothing wrong with him. You found him attractive, and you knew that he wanted you, but it just wasn’t what you wanted. All of it felt so hollow and emotionless on your end. You felt like you were acting and Bucky was working his ass off to please you; to make matters worse, your phone kept going off and you knew who it was.

Steve would’ve hated you if he knew what you were doing and who with, but a part of you felt like he already did. When you both were done, Bucky was a gentleman. He pulled your shirt over your head, carried you to bed, and held you close until you both fell asleep.

You didn’t cry until the next day when you woke up alone in an empty apartment. You ignored calls from both Bucky and Steve, and eventually Bucky was the only one texting you.

Something in you knew that Bucky had confirmed his suspicions, and you just knew he was furious. You and Steve both knew Bucky wasn’t a bad guy, he was just a player and Steve never wanted that for you.

Eventually you cracked and called Meg, and cried while you told her everything.

“Well...fuck,” she muttered once you finally got everything out. “Are you sure Steve knows?”

“His calls and texts were incessant until they weren’t. He hasn’t done either in the last 3 hours.”

“Oh yeah no, he definitely fucking knows. Bucky?”

“Bucky went from every 30 minutes to every other hour.”

“Well, what’s wrong with him?” “Nothing...”

“Except?”

“He’s not Steve.”

“Yeah, but Steve passed up on you, and he was kind of a dick about it. He waited a month until after the office situation? You’ve been showing him your available for how many years? I know you love him, but-”

“I don’t love him.”

“Yeah, cause that’s you’re crying to me about him instead of the skirt chaser that fucked your brains out?”

“Meg.”

“I’m not being insensitive, I’m being honest. Bucky was there last night, clearly wanted you, was with you all night, and all you could think about was Steve. Today, even though Bucky is still texting you, you’re more upset that Steve isn’t because you know he knows. If I were you, I’d be more worried about the guy that’s used to fucking around breaking my heart, than the guy who isn’t,” she sighed.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

“Steve had his chance, I need to let him go. I’ve been in my room crying all day...I have to stop.”

“Can you?”

“I don’t have much of a choice do I?”

“Babe, if you could end up with Steve, I’d prefer that, but that’s not really an option. Even if he came back, he gave you the run around for a bit. Just focus on you for now and what you want. You always want to make others happy, and you need to focus on you.”

“You’re right. I know you’re right.”

“Do you need me to come over?”

“No, being alone is good for me right now.”

“Alright, I love you, Y/N. It’s gonna be okay.”

You let out a heavy sigh as you sobbed, “I love you,” and hung up.

You ignored Bucky for the rest of the day, feeling guilty about it, but knowing it was for the best. You’d done enough wrong and you truly did need to focus on you and what you wanted.

However, before you fell asleep, you broke down and checked all your texts from Steve.

O Captain, My Captain: Darlin, please just talk to me. I’m so sorry.

O Captain, My Captain: I’m not going out tonight, please just answer me.

O Captain, My Captain: Don’t do anything with Bucky. He’s my best friend, but he’s not worthy of you. He won’t treat you right and you know that.

O Captain, My Captain: Please just answer me.

O Captain, My Captain: If I could take back my actions, I would. I’m so sorry. If you’d just talk to me, I’d be able to make you understand.

O Captain, My Captain: Please talk to me. I miss you so much.

O Captain, My Captain: I’m going to sleep, but give me a call whenever.

O Captain, My Captain: Seriously? All night and you’re still not talking to me?

O Captain, My Captain: Baby, please just talk to me. We’ve never gone this long without talking, and I fucking hate it.

O Captain, My Captain: Y/N...please.

O Captain, My Captain: Bucky just left. You’ve made yourself loud and clear, and fine. I got it.

O Captain, My Captain: Do whatever the fuck you want.

When you woke up the following day, you had the biggest headache from crying, and the last thing you felt like doing was facing either of them. You had a job to do though, and criminals didn’t stop being criminals just because you had a broken heart. Even though you were slower to dress than usual, you were still on time for training, and God, it was brutal.

Bucky kept looking at you, Steve wouldn’t even look your way, and you couldn’t focus. You’d never had a day so bad, and all you wanted was to crawl back into bed. During the meeting after, you just leaned against the wall, barely listening to anything Nick had to say. The one time you bothered to look up, you looked over at Steve and was glaring at you.

God, you really fucking hated yourself.

“Doll, wait up!” Bucky called after you once the meeting was over.

You’d practically run out of the room.

“Bucky, I really just want-”

“What did I do wrong?” he breathed once he caught up to you. “Everything seemed fine on Saturday, I thought we both enjoyed it.”

You didn’t miss the way Steve quietly scoffed as he walked past the both of you.

“Bucky, I just-”

“Did I hurt you? What...I really like you, Y/N. I have for a while and I just...was I too eager?”

You honestly hadn’t expected that.

“Wait...what?”

“I never said anything, because I thought you and Steve had a thing going, but that’s clearly not happening. You were just so upset on Saturday and I wanted to make you happy, and I’ve wanted you for so long...what did I do?”

Trash. You felt like absolute trash.

“I need to get to my room.” “Y/N-”

“Just...I’ll talk to you later, okay? You didn’t do anything wrong, I promise. I just have a lot going on in my head. I just need to be by myself for a while.”

“Please just-”

“I’ll talk to you later, okay? I’m sorry.”

You can read the rest here.

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justagalwhowrites · 8 months

Text

Yearling - Ch. 9: Hold

You and Joel go on your first patrol alone. A continuation of Yearling ch. 1-8 found on Tumblr here.

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader

Warnings: Canon-typical violence. No use of Y/N. Minors DNI 18+ Only

Length: 6.8k

AO3 | Chapter One | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

“Hey Bambi!” Tommy jogged up Joel’s front steps and leaned against a post, examining you. You were tucked into a corner of the porch, your back against the front of Joel’s house, guitar on your lap. You stopped playing, looking up at him as he smirked a little at you. “Wasn’t expecting to see you here. Didn’t know you played!”

“Oh Miller,” you sighed. “I imagine the things you don’t know would fill several libraries.”

“See, Bambi, this is why I’m glad I’m not goin’ out on patrol with you anymore,” he clutched his heart, mockingly wounded. “You’d just try to kill me out there without Joel to hold you back.”

“You really think Joel could stop me if I wanted to kill you?” You teased, brows raised.

“You really think I’d try to stop her?” Joel was standing inside the doorway, arms crossed, the screen door the only thing between him and the outside. “She’s tryin’ to kill you, you probably deserve it.”

You smiled a little, liking the small intimacy of the front door of Joel’s home sitting open when you were there. In the weeks you’d been playing guitar at Joel’s, you’d made a lot of progress. Once you’d mastered Bad Moon Rising and House of the Rising Sun you started going through the CDs at your house, finding songs you used to know and refreshing your memory. You practiced chord progressions on the handles of shovels in the stables and hummed the melodies as you worked with the horses. When the work was done, you’d get cleaned up and go to Joel’s.

You’d never explicitly said you would be coming by all the time but he quickly grew to expect it, often meeting you on the porch with the guitar in hand before you even had a chance to knock on his door.

He usually left you to it, disappearing back into his house - always reminding you that you were welcome to come inside any time you wanted - but he sometimes would sit on the porch with a book or a cup of tea, politely looking toward the horizon to not make you uncomfortable. You still caught him glancing your way every few minutes but you never said anything.

“I want to hear you play,” you said one night when he met you on the porch.

He laughed a little.

“Promise you don’t, Bambi,” he held the guitar out to you but you didn’t take it, hands in your back pockets.

“Yes I do.”

He sighed and shook his head but smiled a little.

“Please?” You asked, thumbs anxiously rubbing the seams of your pockets. You didn’t want to make joel do anything he didn’t want to do but something in you desperately wanted to hear him play. Since he’s said he wanted to be a musician you’d wanted to hear him play, be able to see and know that side of him.

Music had always felt strangely intimate to you. It was the only way you really felt comfortable expressing your feelings and you’d never really understood how people could just get up and perform for hundreds or thousands. The closest you’d ever come was playing violin for the damn beauty pageants your mother made you do as a girl, until you figured out that if you said “fuck you” during the question and answer portion they wouldn’t allow you to come back. But you knew Joel listened to you playing. Sometimes he was more obvious about it. Other times, he quietly opened a window just a bit and didn’t say anything, like he thought you wouldn’t notice. You never bothered to correct him.

You felt oddly OK with Joel listening to you play. It felt like he already knew so much of you, listening to your music wasn’t going to change any of it. You wanted to know him that way, too. Wanted to be closer to him that way since being physically near him made you nervous.

“Alright,” he sighed. “Ain’t played for anyone in a while so don’t expect me to be some rockstar.”

You scoffed.

“Rockstars are boring assholes anyway,” you said. “Asked to hear you play.”

He shook his head and quirked is jaw but sat on the top porch step anyway. You sat on the bottom one, back against the railing, and looked up at him.

“Remember you asked for this,” he said, arranging the guitar on his legs.

He’d downplayed it so much that you were almost expecting it to be bad or, at best, mediocre. But Joel was… good. Really good.

It took you a moment to recognize the song. It had been a while since you’d heard Springsteen and Joel’s version of I’m On Fire was slower and gentler than the original. But you liked it that way, you realized.

Joel’s version felt a little less insistent, less verging on being out of control and more like quiet longing, the ache of wanting something you couldn’t quite reach but you wanted it so bad you had to at least try. It made your chest tighten and your stomach knot to hear it, made you start to feel warm enough that you were fidgeting in the coat. There was a pull in you to want to be a part of anything to do with him, be alongside him, make something with him. You wanted to fall into him and get comfortably lost there, going along with everything that made Joel who he was, no matter where that took you.

You were silent until the last of the notes had faded and Joel sat there, looking down at the guitar in his hands, the uncertainty pouring off him in waves.

“Well, that’s…” he began but you cut him off.

“You’re amazing.”

He looked up, his eyes meeting yours as he frowned slightly.

“You are,” you said quickly. “I like your version better than Springsteen’s. No one tell the Boss that, though.”

He smiled a little, just enough that you could see the dimple on his cheek and you smiled back.

You were more comfortable being closer to the house after that day. You spent a few days playing on the bottom step, then moved to the top. Now, you always sat in the corner of the porch, your back protected by touching Joel’s home. You liked it there.

The comfort had made it easier to relax while playing, too. Now, you were back where you were before the outbreak, playing whatever song you could hear in your head without much trouble, experimenting with the different ways you could pull sound out of the instrument and how you could weave it together into a melody. That’s what you’d been doing when Tommy came up - what you did most of the time that you were at Joel’s now - toying with things in a way that was melodic but not really a song, just whatever music you felt like making in the moment.

“What brings you by?” Joel asked, opening the screen door.

“Need to talk to the two of you, actually,” he said. “This saves me a stop. Want to come inside, Bambi?”

Before you had a chance to reply, Joel spoke for you.

“She doesn’t like bein’ inside,” he said, stepping outside and going to stand near you. You got up and perched on the porch railing near him, close enough that your knee brushed his side, still holding the guitar. “We can talk on the porch if it’s all the same to you.”

“We’re workin’ Bambi into the patrol rotation,” he said. You nodded, frowning. This wasn’t a surprise. It had been more than a week since you’d finished your training. That didn’t warrant a visit from Tommy. “And we discussed it and we think it’s best if you two stick on patrol together instead of sending her out with someone new….”

“I can handle myself,” you protested. You could feel Joel’s eyes on you. “I don’t need Joel to baby sit me, I can patrol with anyone…”

“Never said you couldn’t,” Tommy said gently. “But we got another new person comin’ in and I’m gonna go out with him at first for a while. You two work well together, watch each other’s backs well. And… Well, Bambi, not to put too fine a point on it but… You’re not comfortable with most people. Seem comfortable enough with me n’Joel, no reason to make you uncomfortable in a situation that’s already dangerous enough.”

You felt your face get hot as you looked at the ground, not able to face Tommy. You didn’t like that people made you uncomfortable and you tried to hide it. Apparently you didn’t do that good a job.

“First patrol is in two days,” he said. “We’re gonna get Olivia to run the stables that day, it’ll just be a day long shift, no overnight. Sound good?”

“I’m good with that,” Joel said. His eyes were still on you.

“Works for me,” you said, looking up toward Tommy again.

“Good,” he smiled a little and gave a single nod. “Then I’m gonna get home before my wife bites my head off.”

He turned to go but turned around, a cocky smile on his face.

“Hey Bambi?”

“Yeah?”

“Can you play Freebird?”

You glared at him for a second, arranging the guitar on your lap again, planting a foot solidly against a spindle of the porch railing so you wouldn’t fall.

“I’m just kid…” He began but you cut him off with the first notes of the solo from Freebird.

You had to watch your fingers to play it and not think too hard about it, just let your hands and mind go. If you focused too hard, you’d fuck it up. But you played the whole damn thing, the whole four minutes and 24 seconds of it - a little faster because you always rushed it. You were a breathless when you were done and looked up at Tommy who was staring at you, open mouthed.

“Don’t know why men always want to hear fuckin’ Freebird,” you rolled your eyes. “Allen Collins is great, don’t get me wrong, but I mean Joan Jett is right there. And no one ever asks for All Along the Watchtower which, Hendrix? I mean come on. Y’all are such simple fuckin’ creatures…”

“Jesus, Bambi,” he said, almost reverently. “Where the hell’d you learn that?”

“My bedroom when I was a teenager because I figured out men don’t take girls who play seriously unless we can play shit like that,” you replied. “Lemme know when your taste develops and you wanna hear some Heart.”

“Well I’m gonna get outta here before I make an even bigger fool of myself,” Tommy smiled again, clapping Joel on the shoulder. “Good luck patrolling with that one.”

“I’ll do better than you,” Joel called after him and you laughed a little, shaking your head, before going back to toying with the guitar. You only played for a minute though. Joel didn’t go back inside. Instead he just leaned against a post, watching you silently. You stopped playing.

“Can I help you?”

“Do you not want to patrol with me?” He asked. It wasn’t accusing or even hurt. His face was soft and open, his arms crossed loosely over his chest.

You frowned.

“Why d’you think that?”

“Seemed like you didn’t want to be paired with me,” he shrugged. “It’s OK if you don’t, we…”

“I do,” you said quickly. “I want to patrol with you.”

He frowned a little, like he was doubting you.

“I do,” you said again.

Because you did. You’d found yourself wanting to do things with Joel - everything, really - since you’d started patrolling with him the first time. He made you more relaxed than anyone else did, even Ellie. You started standing outside the mess hall and waiting for him to get there before going inside to eat. He’d started beating you there and waiting for you instead. You liked when you heard the soft thud of him opening a window when you played guitar and he tried to listen without disturbing you. You liked that, when he got back from patrol and it was the end of the day, Joel would help you get the horses settled and walk with you to his place to play guitar.

You’d been spending so much time with Joel, people had started to notice. Or, at least, Ellie had.

“What the fuck, Bambi?” She demanded the morning after your last patrol with Joel. You winced, her voice loud, your head pounding after drinking too much at the Tipsy Bison the night before.

“Good morning, Ellie,” you said, hauling a bucket of feed to the next stall. “I’m doing fine, thank you for asking…”

“Oh fuck off,” she stomped up next to you, her eyes narrowed. “Are you fucking Joel?”

“What?” You almost dropped the bucket into the stall.

“You heard me.”

“Yeah, volume isn’t the issue here, kid,” you set the bucket down next to your feet before you took a deep breath and crossed your arms over your chest. “What do you mean am I fucking Joel?”

“I mean,” she snapped. “Everyone saw you fucking dancing with the guy last night. I know you’re over at his house all the time - I live out back in case you fucking forgot. Are you fucking him?”

“Who is and isn’t between my legs is none of your damn business…”

“It is if it’s Joel,” she cut you off. “I said he could use a friend, not…”

“I’m not fucking anybody,” you said. “But if I were it wouldn’t be your business, regardless of who it was.”

“Joel’s different.”

“And you still won’t tell me what your issue with him is,” you said, picking up the bucket again. “Doesn’t seem fair that I should need to ask your permission to fuck the man if you won’t even tell me why I shouldn’t.”

“So you do want to,” she said.

“Ellie,” you sighed. “Want to tell me what your actual problem is? Because something tells me it doesn’t have shit to do with whether or not I’m sleeping with anyone.”

She clenched her teeth for a moment and glared at you even harder before she sighed.

“You were my friend first,” she said. “And if you start doing… that,” she gestured to your torso and you tried not to laugh. “You’re going to be his… whatever the fuck you’d be. Be friends with him, fine, whatever, but I really don’t want you to ditch me because I’m not speaking to him and you’re fucking him.”

“Ellie,” you smiled a little. “First of all, I’m not anybody’s anything. That’s wouldn’t change even if I were fucking someone. Second of all, you really don’t need to worry about me fucking Joel or anybody else. Not only is it not your business but it’s not… I’m not… It just isn’t gonna happen, OK? So don’t get worked up over shit that isn’t happening and isn’t your concern.”

She relaxed a little but looked like she didn’t entirely believe you.

“Need me to bring a horse out to the paddock for you to work on drawing?” You asked, brows raised.

“Maybe.”

She didn’t look too happy about that fact. You smiled a little.

“C’mon kid,” you said, going to get Shimmer. “We’ll get you all set up.”

You were glad she hadn’t pushed you too hard about Joel or any of the rest of it. You didn’t want to tell her why fucking anyone felt totally out of the question. Or how you wished that weren’t the case because at least that would explain part of the strange draw you had to Joel, this growing longing to be close to him, one that was outweighing your fears.

“Bambi,” Joel said gently. “It’s OK…”

“Will you stop acting like you’re some leper I don’t want to see?” You looked at him, incredulous. “I just… I don’t want the fact that I’m… antisocial to make problems for people, alright? I want to patrol with you. You’re about the only fucking person I’d want to patrol with. But I can do it with other people. It’s my shit to deal with, not Tommy’s, not yours, not the people who figure out patrol rotations, mine. I’m tired of being a fucking burden all the goddamn time…”

“You’re not a burden,” he said. You raised your eyebrows at him. “You’re not. Everyone’s got their shit now. It’s the end of the world, that’s how it goes. We work around it. You’re not a burden.”

You nodded slowly, running your fingers over the fretboard of the guitar.

“If you don’t want to patrol with me, I’d understand,” you said, forcing yourself to look at him. “You can…”

“I want to patrol with you, Bambi,” he cut you off. “Meant what I said before. I like bein’ the one to look out for you.”

“OK,” you said, giving him a single, definitive nod.

He smiled a little.

“OK.”

Joel walked you home that night after you went to the mess hall for dinner but asked to stop by his place first to grab something. He came out with something wrapped in paper tucked below his arm but didn’t say anything about it until you were at your front porch. Joel always came to your front door now, always waiting for you to get safely inside and turn off the light before going to his own house again.

“This…” He held out the package, awkwardly cupping the back of his neck, not looking at you. “Thought you might like this.”

You frowned and took it, untying the string around the paper. Inside was a long sleeved shirt, light weight and far too big for you. You looked at him for a second, confused.

“Well, you said the thing you liked about the coat was the smell,” it was like he was trying to look at anything but you, too uncomfortable to meet your eyes. “And… well, it was my coat and I think that means it smelled like me which, you know… That makes sense, seein’ as I was the one who brought you here, you were passed out on me for a few hours and smell is supposedly tied to memory… anyway… It’s too hot for the coat now, you’re gonna get yourself hurt tryin’ to do everything you need to do in that heavy thing and that shirt is a lot cooler and I wore it for a while.” You looked down at it, running your thumbs over the fabric for a moment before bringing it to your nose and breathing deep. It smelled warm and safe. It smelled like Joel. You smiled a little. “Only wore it when I was clean and shit, wasn’t out doin’ anything crazy…”

You looked up at him for a second before you slowly, cautiously pressed yourself against him. Joel froze for a second and you just stood there, your face in his chest, your arms clutched to your torso, the shirt still in your hands. You closed your eyes and breathed him in for moment, calming and centering yourself on him. He gently put his arms around you, holding you to him. You could hear his heartbeat, feel his breathing, absorb his warmth. He rested his chin on the top of your head.

“Thank you,” you said softly.

“Course,” he said quietly. “Wasn’t… Wasn’t weird?”

“No,” you laughed a little into his chest. “At least, not to me.”

When you went inside that night, you raced around to your back windows and watched what you could see of the street behind your house, the shirt held to your chest, following his darkened silhouette with your eyes as he walked home.

You found yourself looking forward to patrolling with Joel. It would be nice to see him without other realities of life in the way. Just infected and the looming threat of raiders. That was easier to navigate than a pissed off teenager. But you were nervous, too. Less about the patrol itself - you’d done almost the exact same patrol with Joel and Tommy for weeks and almost nothing happened - and more about being alone with Joel for that long.

It wasn’t safety you were worried about anymore - even though the knot in your stomach wasn’t about to let you into Joel’s house anytime too soon - but more the kind of company you were now. You hadn’t been alone like this with someone in so long. What if the person who made you feel the closest you came to OK didn’t want to spend time with you anymore after going out there with you? You wouldn’t blame him, you were barely functional in society as it was. But you didn’t want to lose him, either.

You hardly slept the night before you left for your first patrol alone with Joel and when you did sleep, you dreamed.

You were in a snow covered forest, the trees stretching out for miles in neat little rows, the ground white. You didn’t leave footprints and neither did the little girl beside you even though you could hear the crunch of snow under both your feet. There were shadows in the distance, shadows shaped like men but they were too far away to recognize. But you could feel that they were a threat, that they wanted to close in, that they wanted to rip and tear and take.

“I don’t want to do this.”

The little girl looked up at you with wide, doe-like eyes, her hair clipped back from her face, a gun that was far too big for her in her small hands.

“I know,” you said quietly. “But we have to.”

“Why?”

“Because,” you nodded to the shadows on the horizon. “There are things in this world that want to hurt you and you need to know how to hurt them first.”

“But you’re here,” she said. She was so young, so small. You brushed her hair back.

“You still need to know how,” you said. “I will do everything I can to protect you but I might fail. You need to know how to destroy them before they destroy you because they will. They will destroy every part of you they can touch if they have the chance. Don’t give them the chance.”

Her small mouth formed a grim line but she lined up the shot anyway.

“Does it hurt?” She asked, looking up at you.

You reached down at cupped her cheek.

“Yes,” you said quietly. “Yes, it does.”

You didn’t remember the dream when you woke up. You only felt the hollow ache of loss as you got ready to meet Joel at the stables.

***

You were wearing the shirt.

It was the first thing Joel noticed when he saw you at the stables, your forehead pressed to Renaissance’s own, your eyes closed.

He cleared his throat and you jumped a bit, away from the horse, your body tense for a moment before you saw it was just him and you smiled a little.

“Hey,” you said.

“Hey.”

You were wearing the shirt. His shirt. He hadn’t been wrong, he was the thing you liked about the coat.

His heart beat a little faster.

Joel felt like he was in some kind of delicate dance with you. He had since the night at the Tipsy Bison, when you’d touched him without flinching away. Instead, you’d melted into him, all soft warmth and gentle breaths as you moved together. It was a wonder you didn’t ask him what the fuck his problem was, the way his heart was racing in his chest as your head rested against him as the two of you swayed on the dance floor. He’d been touching you, holding you, feeling you.

It was somehow more than he’d expected it to be.

Joel wasn’t stupid. He had feelings for you, there was no point in denying it. If he was at all honest with himself, even for a second, he’d had feelings for you from the day he met you. Even half dead, there was something in you that he was reaching for. It had just grown in the months he’d known you, watched you with the horses and with Ellie and even his nephew, William. Grown as he’d listened to you relearn the guitar, playing until he had to clean blood off the instrument before putting it away at night. Grown as he watched you grit your teeth and face deeply held fears, trying so hard to fold yourself back into humanity you were willing to tear yourself apart to do it. It had grown so much that, when you moved closer to him in the dim light, he was overwhelmed by it. Like everything else fell away and it was just you and him and the slow, haunting music.

If you’d been any other woman, he would have taken your face in his hand and tilted your lips toward his own and kissed you that night and fuck, did he want to kiss you. He wanted to feel the soft give of your mouth against his, wanted to taste you, wanted to breathe the same air as you.

But he couldn’t do that with you. You were so delicate in this way. He could trust you to claw a man’s face off but couldn’t trust what you might do if he were to touch you the way he so desperately wanted to. And nothing - not even feeling you the way he longed to - was worth the risk of hurting you.

He went home that night and made himself come so hard in the shower he almost collapsed with it, thinking about nothing but the way your body felt cradled against his own as you moved with him on the dance floor.

That night had tipped something in him over the edge. He had to fight to stay away from you, make a conscious effort to not seek you out at every opportunity. All he wanted was to be beside you and, when he wasn’t, he wanted to know that you were OK, wanted to know what you were doing, wanted to know what you feeling. He wanted to take care of you in whatever way he could and the shirt was something he could do for you.

Joel just felt like a bit of a jackass doing it, though.

“Fuckin’ idiot,” he’d muttered to himself as he put the shirt on after he was freshly showered and getting into bed one night. Because he felt like a fucking idiot, assuming that the smell you mentioned had fuck all to do with him. How self absorbed could he possibly be?

But he wore the shirt, anyway. If he was right - if the smell you felt safe with was him - then he should help you. It was worth the risk of looking like a goddamn moron if there was even a chance that it could make your life a little easier. He slept in the shirt for a few nights before he wrapped it in paper. It glared at him from the top of his dresser for two days before he was sitting at the mess hall with you and you made some smart ass remark and he caught a glimpse of you, laughing, relaxed and happy. If he could do anything to make the world feel safer, make that version of you closer to the surface, he would.

And you were wearing the shirt.

“Ready to endure a day of patrol with just me?” You asked, smiling a little.

“Better than a day with just Tommy,” he smiled back, going to saddle up his horse.

The patrols all left at the same time and Joel took the lead with yours, following a trail that he’d come to know well through the years. It was the same patrol he’d been on with Tommy when he’d found you months before.

He wasn’t going to mention that part.

“Where’d you find your guitar?” You asked after the two of you had been riding for a while.

“There’s a city, few hours ride away,” he said. “Found it there. Why?”

“No reason,” you shrugged. “Just… wondered if I might be able to find one of my own. Figured you were probably tired of me comin’ around all the time.”

“Not tired of it,” he smiled a little. “Come by as often as you want. I… I like it when you come by.”

“Also thought it would be nice to play with you sometime,” you said, not looking at him, your voice strained. “Not sayin’ we should start a fuckin’ band or anything but… You’re good. I’d like to play with you.”

He smiled wider.

“I’d like that, too,” he said.

The two of you were getting close to where Joel had first found you when you frowned, your eyes narrowed at a spot on the trail. Joel’s chest got tight. Did you remember more than either of you realized? Did you recognize something?

“See that?” You asked, nodding at a branch low on the tree.

Joel frowned.

“No.”

You rolled your eyes and guided your horse to it. You pointed out a splotch of mud on the branch as well as some on the side of the trunk at about knee height.

“Someone climbed this tree,” you said, touching the mud spot on the branch. “It’s dry, been a few days at least but someone climbed this tree. There are people out here.”

“Alright,” Joel nodded slowly. “Lead the way, let’s see what we can find.”

You found a few other signs of people - all at least a few days old - as the two of you worked your way further off the usual path. There were some cabins marked on the map close by and Joel wasn’t particularly surprised when the trail led to them.

You dismounted before he had a chance to say anything, your sidearm held low in your hands as you went up to the first door. Joel jumped off his horse before it fully stopped moving, barely reaching you before you threw the first door open.

The one room cabin was empty, just some old sheets and towels on the floor, the air damp with mildew.

“Bambi,” Joel said, voice low. “We should…”

“Just gonna check,” you replied, looking through the room quickly, yanking up blankets to check below them for something. You made a frustrated sound.

“What are we lookin’ for?” He asked, looking at the hearth in the corner of the cabin. The ash in it was cold, at least a few days old.

“Any sign of there being women or girls here,” you said, lifting the mattress on the floor with your toe. “And any sign of where they might have gone.”

Joel didn’t say anything. He just let you take the lead, knowing you were going to be disappointed. This was a raider camp. It wasn’t like they were going to have left a roadmap to where they were headed next, it wasn’t like there was going to be shit like hair brushes lying around to prove there were women with them.

You went to the next cabin and found more of the same. The largest cabin had more beds but the same disarray. Finally, there was one cabin that you seemed to latch on to.

At first it seemed like the others but you spotted something against the wall quickly. You went to it, kneeling slowly before you picked it up. It was a chain, bolted to the wall. Joel’s stomach turned as you ran your fingers over it to the cuff on the end. You pulled out your flashlight and shined it on the metal, delicately tracing the inside of it before you pulled your hand away.

“It’s dried but there’s blood,” you said, straightening up and shining the light at the ground before you found a stain on the floorboards. You knelt again, running your fingers through the dirt and blood there, examining it. You sighed and hung your head. “Doesn’t matter, looks like they killed her anyway.”

You turned off the flashlight and stuck it back in your bag before brushing past Joel and stalking outside. He followed. You’d stopped next to the fire pit, staring down into the pile of ash, the thumb of your right hand absently tracing the inside of your left wrist.

“Bambi,” he said gently, but you cut him off.

“How often do patrols come out this way?” You asked. “And do they ever make it this far?”

“They come out on the route we’re on every other week,” he said. “But don’t make it all the way out here except every few months, just to check in.”

You nodded slowly.

“They were probably watching for people like us then,” you said. “If they knew the pattern, they took off days ago.”

“I don’t think we can follow them, Sweetheart,” he said gently.

You nodded.

“I know,” you said softly. “Don’t think there’s a reason to right now, anyway.”

“Bambi…”

“Let’s go,” you said, not looking at him as you stalked over to Renaissance.

“If you want…”

“I just want to get the fuck away from here,” you snapped. “So can we please move on?”

Your eyes met his for the first time since you’d found the cabins and the barbed wire was back but it was wrapped around so much pain it hurt to look at you.

“Course,” he said. “Let’s get back.”

The first few hours of the trip back were quiet until you slowed on the trail and waited for Joel to come alongside you.

“Can you do me a favor and not say anything about that?” You asked. “At least, leave me out of it as much as you can? Folks here should protect themselves of course but…”

“Not going to say anything,” he said, watching you. The barbed wire was gone now. Instead, it was just hurt, an aching, screaming pain behind your eyes. He wondered, for a moment, if that’s what he looked like in the time after he’d lost Sarah. If that’s what Tommy had looked at for weeks if not months.

You nodded.

“Thank you.”

About an hour out from Jackson, Joel started humming. You glanced over at him when he did but he pretended not to notice. It was The Chain, the first song he’d ever heard you sing. He was trying to remember the pacing you used, trying to match it. When he finished it, he just started it up again.

“Listen to the wind blow…” Your voice was quiet, almost hesitant, but you sang it all the same. Joel kept humming.

By the time the two of you were back to Jackson, you seemed a bit more like yourself. You leaned forward on Renaissance and scratched her neck, draping yourself over her mane.

“Thanks for that,” you said, opening your eyes and looking at Joel, your cheek still pressed against the horse’s neck. “I needed it.”

“Course,” he said.

Joel was exhausted, the diversion to the cabins adding a few hours to an already long day, and he was ready to write a brief report about what the two of you saw on patrol and get a hot meal when the gates opened as they rode up to town. But Ellie came running out to meet you, her eyes wide and afraid.

“Thank fuck you’re OK!” She looked back and forth between the two of you. Joel looked at you and you gave him a small shrug before you both dismounted.

She threw herself at Joel first, her small body hitting him with so much force that it shocked him. He hesitantly put his arms around her and held her close, her arms tight around his neck.

“I was so fucking scared,” she said, her voice wet.

“What happened Baby Girl?” He frowned. Patrols ran a bit long all the time, it wouldn’t cause her to freak out, not like this. Not when she’d so much as glanced his way in months.

“Other patrols got attacked,” she pulled away from him before going to you, giving you a big but shorter hug. You gave her a squeeze back.

“By what?” Joel asked. “Is everyone OK?”

“Raiders,” she said, stepping back and looking between the two of you, a frantic look in her eyes. “The people all made it back alive. Looks like Jody might lose her arm but she got the worst of it…”

“Fuck,” Joel swore, shaking his head.

“Ellie,” you said. “Do me a favor, grab Joel’s horse and come with me back to the stables so Joel can go handle that?”

“Yeah,” she nodded, squaring her jaw. “Yeah, I can do that.”

You gave Joel a single nod and he watched the two of you head for the stables for a moment before he went to find Tommy.

There wasn’t much he could do, however. The council was already meeting and Tommy filled him in on the worst of it as he nursed a knife wound on his leg.

Half the patrols that had gone out that day had been overrun, one large group of raiders catching them at a crossover point on their routes. The raiders had either been extremely lucky or they’d been watching their patrols and knew where they’d be when.

They’d managed to kill a few raiders and no humans from Jackson had died before fighting off the others. But a total of five horses had been lost in the attack, including Samson.

“Shit,” Joel said, looking toward the stables, where he knew you would be.

“I’ll let you know what else happens,” Tommy said gently, jerking his head toward the door. “Get outta here.”

Joel looked at him for a moment before pulling him into a tight hug, clapping him on the back as he did.

“Glad you’re OK,” Joel said, his voice thick.

“You too, man,” Tommy said. “Go take care of your girl.”

“She’s not…”

“I said what I said,” Tommy cut him off. “Get your head outta your ass, man.”

Joel just shook his head and took off for the stables, looking for you.

He found you there, curled up on the floor, your arms wrapped tight around yourself, your knees against your chest. You were sobbing, your whole body shaking with it. The sight made Joel’s heart ache.

“Oh, Sweetheart,” Joel said quietly, approaching you slowly,.

“G-g-go away,” you managed. “Don’t w-w-w-want your pity.”

He ignored you, getting down on the floor next to you.

“It OK if I touch you?” He asked softly. You nodded through a wracking sob. He lay down behind you and put an arm around you. He delicately, slowly, pulled you back against him, putting his other arm below your head so you weren’t just lying on the cold concrete. You pressed yourself back into him and he buried is face in your hair. “I’m so sorry…”

“N-n-never lost this many at once,” you choked out. “And S-s-s-s-samson wouldn’t have been out at all if it wasn’t for me, it was my fault…”

“Wasn’t your fault,” he kept his voice calm and even. “If it wasn’t him, it would have been another horse. Not your fault, Sweetheart. Promise you, it’s not.”

“It’s probably dumb for m-me to be so upset about the horses,” you sounded like you could at least breathe now. “When there were p-p-people who…”

“Not dumb,” Joel said gently. “The people will live and you worked with these horses every day. Course you’re upset, Sweetheart.”

“What are we gonna do?” You asked, taking a shaky breath. “Jackson, without the horses, we need them to patrol, what…”

“We’ll figure it out tomorrow,” he said quietly. “Right now, you just breathe. You had a long, awful day. You need to breathe.”

Joel brought the hand that was below you to your forehead, brushing your hair back. Your head dropped back against him, your whole body pressed to his. He just held you like that, feeling your breathing calm and your sobs slow.

“Can I stay here?” You asked quietly. “Don’t wanna go home, just wanna be here…”

“Course you can,” he said gently, his hand finding a gentle rhythm on your hair. “Want me to stay with you?”

“Would you?” You asked, voice shaky again. “Because I… I just… Just want you to hold me…”

“Course I’ll stay,” he said quietly, his hold on you tightening. “I’ll do whatever you want, Sweetheart. Whatever you want.”

Next Chapter

A/N: GUYS

THEY LIKE... FULLY HUGGED AND CUDDLED IN THIS ONE.

This is probably the slowest burn slow burn I've done and I can tell because I get SO EXCITED when they like... barely touch lmfao. I hope you're enjoying it, too.

I'm still doing the tag list thing and I promise I will start up an updates blog soon. I just have not had the time this week! If you want to be added to the tag list and see what the Tumblr Gods will allow, comment below.

Thank you so much for being here and for spending your time with these characters! I so appreciate it, it makes sharing this story so worthwhile. Love you all so much!

Taglist: @ashleymsnodgrass@planet-marz1@kalea-bane @juneswonderlust@ilovepedro @h-annahayy @starstruckmusiciansartghost@beccerjune@mumma-moonchild@netonetoneto@mellymbee@purplelye@n7cje@flugazi@evyiione@randomhoex@aliengirl99@orcasoul@reds-ramblings@pedropascalsbbg @fupoola @tinypotatothing @knopes-waffles @lilmizmoz @ayamenimthiriel@jenispunk@panda-pascal@sarap-77@flugazi@your-slutty-gf@daniegraceg@partyofone3413@cumberpegg@noisynightmarepoetry.

#fanfic #joel miller x female reader #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller x oc #slow burn #yearling

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