#i know a few people on here might me like whomst

[bropunzeling]

⭐star⭐ of any part of linger!!

oh god too much freedom; how do you feel about the brady/quinn relationship reveal? bc i'm gonna do the brady/quinn relationship reveal:

It’s not a great night. Matthew drinks one or two more beers than he should, enough that he’s itchy and heated long past the sun going down. He spends an hour or two swatting at mosquitoes and doing a bad job of ignoring his phone. [he is being such an awful person right now, and he knows it, and he can't stop himself. whomst among us? obvi the main reason is career stress, but i like it also as a subtle hint that heat is coming as well] What makes things worse is there’s seemingly no one to talk to. He’s too old for Taryn and her friends, who are preoccupied by classes and the upcoming field hockey season and incomprehensible friend group drama that Matthew would need a cast of characters to have a hope of figuring out. On the other hand, Brady and Quinn are lost in their own corner of the backyard, chairs angled towards each other as they talk in low voices. No point in trying to break into that conversation. [you can pry "loneliness while in the company of people who love you" as a motif out of my cold dead hands] Matthew barely makes it a few hours before giving up and going to bed.

To add insult to injury, he tosses and turns all night, head full of strange, feverish dreams. The creak of a bed. Low, gasping sounds he can barely hear. The brush of fingers along his spine. Lips pressed against his shoulder. [the way matthew's dreams played out over the course of the fic is one of those things that like, i did it twice and then i realized i was doing a motif lol. like, the way that the dreams are a space where he gets to want things that his conscious self won't allow him to, and how they're tied to his heats but he's not actually in heat at the time? so it's really a like, even when you aren't out of your mind, this is a thing that you want at least subconsciously. and i liked turning it on its head both in the next scene, where it's brady and quinn doing something matthew's so afraid of, and then of course at the end, where the dream leon isn't a dream at all. anyway. i love dreamscapes!]

“Do you want,” Leon says in the dream, almost a question. His eyes are wide and dark, his hair soft in Matthew’s hands. His mouth hovers over the curve of Matthew’s neck, breath hot and wet against Matthew’s skin. So close together that Matthew can’t breathe anything but Leon’s scent, heady and perfect. Matthew tilts his head back, eyes shut, and waits for the scrape of teeth. [it's not just that matthew's horny for leon - he's horny for leon in a specific way that he doesn't want to allow himself to want. he wants leon in the way that means he's falling right into stereotypes about how he as an omega should be, and that's why he finds it so dangerous, because what else does that mean about him? what else does that mean about how he relates to his dynamic?]

He blinks awake with his face pressed into the pillows. They smell like nothing at all.

-

Normally, Matthew isn’t the first to get up when he’s on vacation. But at 7:09, he has to accept that any chance of another hour of shitty, restless sleep is gone. [i love to make people have a horrible night's sleep. this is because i often have a horrible night's sleep. if i suffer so should my blorbos.] Might as well make some coffee about it.

He’s on his second cup of mediocre drip coffee, staring blankly at his phone as it stubbornly refuses to show him any new messages, [looking at this sentence is making me think about, how i use phones in fic??? v off topic lol but like, it's such a useful device. form of self-distraction. form of self-isolation. a thing you keep looking at because you're hoping someone will talk to you. it's especially useful in matthew/leon fic because like, it's one of the only methods for bridging distance. obvi here matthew is most potently wanting a message about his career (the apparent first priority) but later he's also going to be thinking about leon, too] when a clattering draws his attention.

“Oh shit,” Brady says softly, wincing as he picks up the empty seltzer cans he apparently knocked over and drops them by the overflowing recycling bin. [relatable, brady] All he has on is a ratty pair of basketball shorts, which was clearly the bare minimum to make himself presentable for coming downstairs. “I didn’t know you were up.”

Matthew shrugs and slurps his coffee. It doesn’t help the pounding in his temples. [poor matthew with his heat pms] “Yeah, well,” he says, shrugging. “Didn’t sleep great.”

Brady winces again, scratching at the back of his neck. “Sorry.”

“Not your fault,” Matthew says. It’s not like Brady’s responsible for his weird, hazy dreams, or the fact that once they were over he never really drifted off again. [i loved the set up/pay off of these two paragraphs. brady is saying he's sorry by rote/doesn't really think he's the cause, but also he is responsible, because matthew overheard him]

Brady nods, then goes for the cabinets, opening doors until he finds the mugs. He takes down two, pouring coffee into each of them and shoving the empty pot back into the coffeemaker. They’re gonna need some more. Matthew’s about to tell Brady to start brewing another pot when he’s distracted by the shadow of a bruise barely visible under Brady’s jaw. Not just a bruise. A hickey. [i think so far brady and quinn have been relatively careful (relatively) but the thing is, they're young and horny, and they've been talking about telling people, and that makes them be a little less cautious. like leaving marks!] One that Matthew doesn’t remember noticing yesterday. But when would Brady have had the time to—

Matthew shuts his mouth hard enough to accidentally bite his tongue and yelps.

“Dude,” Brady says, staring at him with wide-eyed concern. “Are you okay?”

Matthew blinks away the pain, jiggling his leg under the table until it eases. When it finally ebbs, he manages to gasp out, “Did you and Quinn hook up last night?” [god, this moment was so satisfying to get to. i knew from the start that they were gonna get together mid-fic, but i really wanted the whole brady/quinn relationship evolution to be one of those things where like, it just creeps in really slowly due to matthew's limited perspective. to that effect i was really careful to always make sure i was mentioning quinn in every brady scene, so like, the sense of linkage was there the whole time, but there's still that kind of wham moment when it all comes together. and i think it worked! or at least based on some initial reader comments it worked. hopefully it did :)]

Brady blanches. “What?”

“You have a,” Matthew says, reaching up and poking at the hinge of his jaw until Brady mirrors him. When Brady finds the bruise, his cheeks flush pink. “And—was that you that I heard last night?” The bed creaking, the low murmurs—those weren’t his dream. Those were real. Those were Brady and Quinn, holy shit. [subtle, boys! but again, really loved the like - reality influencing dreams aspect of this (and of course, leading to the payoff of the final dream sequence!)]

“I,” Brady stutters. His face is turning redder and redder. “We were trying to be quiet.”

“Well, you weren’t,” Matthew informs him. His own face is hot. God, how long has this been happening without him knowing? “Since when do you and Quinn hook up?”

“We’re not hooking up,” Brady blurts out. “We’re dating.” [like brady would EVER ~just hook up~, the romantic lil fuck]

Matthew blinks at him. “Dating.” [it's so so so telling that this is the thing matthew is getting stuck on :) hooking up would be understandable, because matthew has done similarly. dating, though,,,]

Brady nods, chin jutting out as he crosses his arms over his bare chest. “Yeah,” he says. “Since April.”

“Oh,” Matthew says. He can’t quite tell what he’s feeling. Relief that he hasn’t missed the obvious for too long. A strange, prickly hurt that it’s apparently been months and Brady hasn’t said a word. [obviously like, brady is gonna end up being mostly in the right in this fight, but every fight is better if both sides are a little bit right, and matthew's right to be hurt! this is a big secret to keep. i wanted matthew's bad reaction to come from an understandable place.] Even though Matthew’s his brother. Even though Matthew’s supposed to know everything Brady’s up to. “But you didn’t—have you told anyone else?”

Brady shakes his head. “Not yet. We were—it was just texting for a while, and phone calls, and stuff. We wanted to make sure we were—you know.” Brady’s as red as a lobster now. “When we were together.” [poor brady unable to think of, let alone say, that they were making sure they were sexually compatible lol]

“I get the picture,” Matthew says, saving Brady before he gets too embarrassed. “But like—you still could’ve said something,” he insists. His voice is strange and wavery and he hates it. [i feel like one of my matthew characterization touchstones is the idea of performance, outer self vs inner self, polished media self vs on the ice self vs self in company of those you trust. and especially in this fic, vulnerability is a big theme - matthew doesn't want to be looked at while he's in heat. matthew doesn't want to be perceived as soft or wanting or needy or upset. he has to be tough, he has to roll with the punches, he can't let other people in! even with the sex positions it comes up! (but if u want more discussion about that u gotta ask about that one :)) ANYWAY all this to say: he is upset here and he knows brady can tell and he hates it.]

Brady rubs his arms. “I wanted to be sure,” he says. “For us to be sure. And I—I don’t know, I wondered if you’d…”

“What?” Matthew asks, when Brady doesn’t keep talking. He would what?

Brady shrugs, an odd, stiff motion. “I dunno. Be weird.”

Matthew’s gut twists. “Why would I be weird?” he asks, voice coming out harder than he means it to. [ohhhhh buddy]

Brady gives another little shrug before looking at Matthew. His expression is familiar, the same pig-headed stubbornness Matthew’s known all his life, except for the flicker in his eyes, the way he licks his lips. [brady is extremely nervous to talk about this (for good reason)] “Well,” he says slowly. “Because I’m an alpha, and Quinn’s…”

“Yeah, I know Quinn’s a beta,” Matthew retorts. [he is trying to be soooo normal and chill about all these revelations and failing completely] He grabs his mug and takes a sip of coffee. Big mistake. The acidity makes his stomach churn even more. [i do love to make a stomach churn. lol. rip to those of us who want to throw up when we're nervous] “Why would I be weird about that?”

“I don’t know, because you’ve always been weird about that shit?” [it's always the people who know you best who can cut you down the fastest, isn't it. and brady basically has matthew's psychological profile memorized]

Matthew recoils, stung. “No, I’m not.”

“Yeah, you fucking are,” Brady snaps back. Now his shoulders are set, feet planted far apart, ready to take up the whole kitchen. Matthew can catch Brady’s scent now, too, the sticky malt and yeast of a spilled beer that always grows stronger when he’s upset. [trying to come up with a scent profile for literally anyone other than leon (whose i knew at the outset) was like pulling teeth. for someone who does not think about smells at all, i sure picked a poor subject matter. anyway for brady i was like, wouldn't it be funny if he smelled kind of like a frat house when he's upset, and then i went for it. he smells much better when he's happy, more like fresh bread. also quinn's a beta so it doesn't matter in any case. it takes all sorts!] “You may act like dynamics don’t matter to you, like it’s all bullshit, but you’re the one who always thought that I—that every alpha wants to find a nice omega to court. That everyone wants a bond. That everyone wants to be traditional.” [i was musing on twitter the other day that i don't always write on a ~sentence~ level - when i'm writing, i'm really thinking about where i want the scene to go or what beat i want to hit and the particulars of any given sentence isn't that big a deal (though obviously i want things to have rhythm, flow, etc - it's a very "i know it when i write it" thing). that said, with every long fic i often have a dialogue exchange that i want to get in there that i've thought about a lot, and this was one of them. i knew i wanted someone calling matthew on his bullshit - how he acts like he's tough and somehow different from other omegas (which is very internalized something of him!) but he falls into the same traps that he's trying to avoid, stereotyping alphas the way he would hate to be stereotyped - and i knew it was gonna be brady.]

Matthew blinks at him, feeling oddly off-balance. He’s not used to this version of Brady, angry and bowling him over in a way that’s nothing like wrestling for an Xbox controller or blocking each other out playing basketball in the driveway. Saying that Matthew’s the one who cares too much, when it’s not even caring, not really. It’s just knowing how the world works. [i looooove this little beat, because he thinks that! he really does! despite all the evidence that brady and leon and johnny & sean and his own parents have provided to show that there's no one way to be with other people] “I don’t think—”

Brady cuts him off. “Yeah, you do. But you know what? I don’t want to have a bond by twenty-five. I don’t want to do any of that shit. It doesn’t fucking matter.”

“You sure about that?” [this is such a older sibling way to fuck up. as in i have done this myself in arguments with my younger sibling! there is no better way to piss them off than to doubt they know what they want.]

It’s the wrong thing to say. He knows as soon as the words leave his mouth. But there’s no chance of walking them back. Not when Brady’s lips are pressed together so hard they’ve gone white.

“I know what I want,” Brady says after a moment. His voice is choked up, and Matthew can’t tell if it’s because he’s angry or because he’s about to cry. Fuck, he hopes it’s not the latter, but he thinks that it is. [it is :(] “I’ve known for years. I’m not gonna change my mind.” [the brady/quinn backstory and specifically brady longing for quinn for literal years is some of my favorite shit to contemplate and work in, it was so nice and wholesome compared to rat boy's mess.. he was just a gangly little guy, getting used to a whole new world of smells and instincts, and here he is falling ass over teakettle for his best friend!]

“Brady—”

“I’m not,” Brady says, glaring back at Matthew. “Just because you want to be like Dad doesn’t mean I do.” [another line i always knew i wanted in here. matthew wants to be like his dad and can't. brady could be like his dad and doesn't want to. :)]

And with that, Brady grabs the coffee mugs and walks away.

“Brady,” Matthew says, standing halfway up, banging his thighs into the kitchen table. “Brady.” He doesn’t know what to say next, how to fix this, but it doesn’t matter. Brady’s already gone. [sorry to rat boy for making you fuck up so much. i will again.]

#ask meme #omega matthew

[therottenkingsreckoning]

[If It Makes You Happy]

finally wrote another one of these silly fluffs! This time a platonic, friendly thing between two characters whomst I don't think interact nearly enough: Frank and Barnaby (the latter being called Barbie here, and using she/her pronouns). Enjoy!

One wouldn't call Frank Frankly particularly "friendly". Sure, they could be quite pleasant towards others once he'd gotten to know them, and even look forward to spending time in their company on occasion. But it had always been very clear that he preferred his time alone, tending the garden or studying bugs.

The former of which they were doing one particularly pleasant Sunday morning, a fresh new tulip bulb in hand as they dug out a hole in the soil, humming a cheerful tune and thinking about all the chores to be done that day. He liked chores. Most folks would probably find that quite strange, but to Frank there was something so satisfying about writing up a detailed and organized list, doing each task with care and precision, then stepping back once they were done to admire all that he had done. There weren't that many he could think of today- a bit of organizing, the usual making of meals- but just meant more time to do their other favorite thing: catching bugs.

And what a day for bugs it was! Bees and butterflies fluttered and buzzed round the garden in the warm spring air, worms crawled in the dirt, and all manner of critters had their daily goings-on among the leaves of his precious garden. Frank though happily about how he might try to nab a few once all the chores were complete. There was one butterfly that looked quite-

"Frank! Hey Frank!" A familiar canine voice called out suddenly across the road, scattering his thoughts like the butterflies that scattered in the wake of Barbie's footsteps. Barbie. In all the time that they had known her, the two had never been very close. Yes, they would talk on occasion, but those talks were usually her annoying Frank with her stupid jokes, or being talked *at* by them whilst seemingly ignoring everything that was being said. Plus, he disliked her habit of chasing Eddie around whenever he'd stop by her house to deliver mail. All this to say that when they turned around to answer, he was already mentally preparing for whatever would ruin their day.

So it was a pleasant surprise indeed when he noticed the cup she held out to them proudly, lidded by a broad and fuzzy paw. Inside was a rather large butterfly, it's wings turquoise fading to pink and veined in gold.

"A Golden Sunrise!" He gasped, immediately taking it to inspect further. "I've been looking for one of these for ages! Oh I've gotta find a jar for you."

She grinned, hands on hips in a triumphant pose. "Ha, I *knew* I found something good! Saw the lil guy in the bushes outside my house, and he didn't look like anything you've mentioned before!"

At this, Frank paused, turning to look at her again. "You...you pay attention to that?" It's true, his speeches were rather long, and the hound had always seemed rather bored when they'd glance up to check. Not that it stopped him. They had long since accepted that these talks were done for himself and the love of the bugs, and that everyone most likely hated it besides him, and maybe Julie. But now?

Barbie awkwardly rubbed her neck with a paw, laughing softly. "Yeah, I mean...sometimes. I'll admit I don't always get what you're talking about...but, I can appreciate how happy it makes you."

His heart was filled with sudden love. To know that someone really listened, and her of all people! They chuckled softly. "It does. Thank you."

"No problem buddy!" She said. "You want me to keep an eye out for anything else? I'm a dog, so finding things is my specialty."

"Oh that would be lovely, yes!" He really meant it too.

Then she was off, and he was back to looking for a proper jar. They didn't have much reasons to stay and chat together for very long. But, Frank thought as he smiled, you'd never say that they weren't friends.

#stuff i said #welcome home #welcome home arg #welcome home puppet show #welcome home frank #frank welcome home #frank frankly #welcome home barnaby #barnaby welcome home #barnaby b beagle #fluff #fanfic #welcome home fanfic #writing

[dancing-to-architecture]

44 - Jack White - Blunderbuss (2012)

I'm gonna be real, I had no idea this album even existed until this came up. I liked the White Stripes back in the mid to late 00's, but never really followed much of Jack White's solo career.

He's a damn good guitarist, though, so I'm going in to this one with slightly raised expectations.

(I also had this written out like a week and a half ago and just totally spaced on actually posting it.)

•Missing Pieces-

ooh, that electric piano works really well with Jack's guitar tones in the intro, but the solo in the middle is a killer.

Weird lyrics at first, then it slowly starts to come together by the end with a great set of closing lines:

"Sometimes someone controls everything about you

And then they tell you that they just can't live without you

They ain't lyin', they'll take pieces of you

And they'll stand above you and walk away

That's right, and take a part of you with them."

And whomst among us hasn't felt exactly that way some point?

•Sixteen Saltines-

Heavy fuzzy riffs, which is kinda what I expect from Jack White.

The name of the song is extremely weird considering it's a throwaway line, but I guess just calling it "who's jealous (of who?)" might be a bit on the nose.

•Freedom at 21-

I'm giving the text on this a small bit of a pass here because this came out a WHILE before the Me Too movement, but it feels pretty 'Men's Rights'-y imo.

"She can do whatever to me and she'll be fine because she's the woman and the man is always blamed for things" feels pretty goddamned cringey in 2023.

•Love Interruption-

This is the most "Divorced Guy" song I've ever heard in my entire life.

I will not elaborate further.

•Blunderbuss-

"A romantic bust, a blunder turned explosive blunderbuss" is some pretty fun wordplay, but as a self-diagnosed wife-guy, a few soulful minutes about the nobility of infidelity is not exactly my cup of piss.

•Hypocritical Kiss-

This song just makes me think about a number of people that I'd rather prefer stay locked away in the oubliette of my terrible memory.

•Weep Themselves to Sleep-

Okay, dude, you totally invalidated your entire premise set up by the first two lines in the second two lines.

"Nobody can do [x] like I can, except all these guys."

The instrumentation is really nice, the piano kills it, but the lyrics are... not great. 'Billy Corgan Poetic', by which I mean they're pretty, have an interesting metric foot, and they rhyme nicely, but are otherwise inscrutable.

Weird choice for the central song.

•I'm Shakin'-

Jack White sings the dirty blues.

...At least he's better at it than a good number of other white guys who have attempted it.

The idea of referring to the story of Samson and Delilah as "(she) clipped his wig" is just wild.

•Trash Tongue Talker-

"You broke your tongue talkin trash,

Now you're trying to bring your garbage to me." Damn, that's a good line.

One of the few songs about "get the hell out of my life" that you could throw on at a party and not immediately kill the vibe.

•Hip (Eponymous) Poor Boy-

This feels like a band i grew up listening to. Wanna say Little Feat or something like that. It's...alright.

•I Guess I Should Go To Sleep-

Okay, I have a bit of a weakness for 3/4 time.

I also have the occasional fight with insomnia (and lemme tell ya, my insomnia's got HANDS), so yeah, this one hits home.

Also a fairly tidy analogy for death closing out the tab on a hard life. Not entirely sure if that was the intention, but it works.

•On And On And On-

I absolutely love the flow of this one. It's not exactly a fast song, but it keeps moving with the steady power of a river.

I actually had to relisten to it, as I got caught up in the movement and the meter of the lyrics and started spacing out and just vibing.

•Take Me With You When You Go-

The drums are straight out of Manic Depression. I'd know that goddamn drum fill *anywhere*.

I like the fiddle, it almost feels like it shouldn't work, but it really does.

Okay I wasn't expecting the intro to be "the first entire half of the song" but it kicks into 5th gear at the halfway mark and just Goes.

About what I expected going in, to be real. Some great guitar work, some weird but fun lyrics (more often than not).

I'm not sure when he and Meg had their big bad falling out back in the day, but the general sense of "being kinda angry at women" vibe on a few of the songs here definitely bring that whole debacle to mind.

Favorite Track: On And On And On. It's just a whole ass vibe.

Least Favorite Track: tie between Weep Themselves to Sleep and Hypocritical Kiss, but Blunderbuss would be up here too if the wordplay wasn't so good.

There's a lot of very divorce-coded "angry white guy" on this album, and that's just not hitting me.

#1001 albums #dancing to architecture #jack white #blunderbuss

[quirrelli]

So, I finished Killing Eve S4 and I'm...

...just gonna pretend I do not see it. S3 wasn't amazing but its ending still works way better as the ending of the show than the actual ending, so I think I'll just be having that, thank you.

No, but seriously, how did they manage to have this much lesbian activity for four seasons and still end up with bury your gays lite?? Did literally no one in that writer's room have even a cursory look at tvtropes.com or talk to like one gay person??? Make no mistake, I was fully expecting one or both of them to die, especially since I was aware – without knowing any details – of the finale's negative reception. There are always going to be people who hate an ending and by extension the whole show simply because it killed off their favorite character, irrespective of context or execution. I am not one of those people, so I want to be crystal clear here when I say there were ways to make a tragic ending work for Killing Eve, a few fairly obvious ones even, and so I thought surely there was no way they would fall into that specific trap again.

The most generous interpretation of this (non-)ending I can come up with is to apply Hanlon's razor, in which case it might be be seen as a symptom of the general loss of focus the series suffered beginning with S3 and exponentially more so in S4. By which I mean they let the emotional core (the V/E dynamic) diverge wildly from the plot (finding the 12).

Never lose sight of the emotional core. I find you can get away with almost anything; technical faults, dodgy performances, plot holes (especially plot holes), even a meh ending, as long as the emotional core stays exactly where its name says it should stay.

Helene is an easy means of illustration for this point. Helene in S4 is basically less chaotic Villanelle, both in her function to the plot (murderous fancy bitch whomst is important as the key to a bigger bad) and in her relationship with Eve (gay, aggressive, lethally hot), which makes me wonder why they didn't just let Villanelle play that part??? It's driving me mad bc it's the most obvious thing and would have fixed so many problems in an instant.

By which I don't mean get rid of Helene btw, just make better use of her, as an actual member and face of the 12 or a double agent or sth. Give V the quest to hunt down the 12, it's already perfectly aligned with her motivations and capabilities at the end of S3! I mean she wants to impress Eve by showing her she's trying to be better and to start a new life, right? Cool, ok, therefore, in Villanelle's moderately disturbed mind it makes perfect sense to do this by violently hunting down a bunch of bad ppl ~ for Eve ~ . (The fact that she's also high key horny for murder is just a bonus, don't worry about it, baby.) If not that, then do sth else entirely with her, do the church thing (properly this time, not squeezed into two episodes and then entirely forgotten) but don't give hunting down the 12 to Helene, a character that already feels vaguely like a replacement for Villanelle while she's off doing character growth or whatever.

If they had done the thing that makes sense, it would have also meant that for once V and E's goals would have aligned, (though they might not have realized it immediately, you know, for spice,) which would have given us an opportunity to delve into a new dynamic: Partners in crime. Not S2 V tenuously working for E bc horny but actual challenging "we want the same thing except oh no, all this history and unresolved tension" cooperation. Obviously it would have gone horribly wrong in some fashion (I'm thinking Carolyn shenanigans), but at least it would have gone wrong for a reason that actually involved them bc the plot would have actually been their plot again. Incidentally, if you're going to have them hook up, this would be a great time for that, so it doesn't feel quite so backhanded if/when one/both die at the end.

The only reason I can imagine for not going down this route is that it would be too obvious, to which I can only say: [Insert tired comparison to Game of Thrones here.]

Seriously, hunting down the 12 is a natural conclusion to the story. It makes sense, was built to from the beginning and should have been a slam dunk in terms of plotting. Thus I am flummoxed as to how the writers managed to drop the ball so spectacularly that it hit every single one of their teammates square in the tits.

Well, I say that, the show does maintain a few of its strengths, first and foremost the cast of course, consequently some of the dialogue (Carolyn and V's interactions are delightful) and I do like the idea of both Gunn and Pam and also V getting shot by an arrow. Just wish the cupid/angel motif hadn't been so muddled and included Gunn more (who shouldn't have been called Gunn. It's a bad joke.)

Speaking of, many have rightly decried the lackluster supporting cast but as I see it, that is largely a holdover from S3, which killed off/wrote out basically everyone but the core four and failed to introduce any new characters that stayed past the season finale (besides Helene) bc it was too busy not moving the plot forward. You gotta have side characters in your show, so they made some new ones for S4 and gathered together whatever scraps they could (Hugo prettyboy and Martin the therapist). Idk if there was a good way to solve this problem exactly, but they could have certainly woven the new lot into the story better. Especially Pam. Pam could have been so much more. Oh and fuck the way they wrapped up Irina's story too. Complete waste.

With bad plotting comes shitty pacing. Again, that already started in S3. However, I will say in defense of S3 that it being a bit slower and introspective is very much the sort of thing that could have felt kinda ok, even needed in retrospect, if S4 had Risky Businessed into the room champagne in one hand, gun in the other, ready to party. Instead it made S3 look worse by turning it into a prelude to an even more plodding experience, now with bad editing!

For real, there's some really poorly constructed scenes; shots that feel disjointed, unfocused, repetitive. No idea what that's about, could it be the lingering effects of Covid-restrictions? Or maybe they just needed a better editor. Regardless, while not super dire it is absolutely noticeable and contributes to the general lack of cohesion, not to mention the tonal dissonance.

What am I saying, that's an excellent thing to mention. An ideal candidate to put the show and this too long note on my phone out of its misery in fact.

Killing Eve is supposed to be fun, you guys, remember that? S1 was at all times like two smash cuts away from becoming a full on comedy and it was amazing for that. It was the show's most unique feature, what took it from very good to transcendent as far as I'm concerned. Walking that line is hard, no doubt about it, and I get that different show runners have different visions and of course you can take on a more serious tone between seasons but then you actually need to make everything else match that shift. Integrate the absurdity into your writing or discard it, the way I've discarded the idea of ever writing a proper conclusion for anything. If you really want a dramatic, played entirely straight spy thriller conclusion with conspiracies upon conspiracies and doomed passions, that's fine. I mean, it’s not really bc you're losing what made Killing Eve great et cetera and so forth but my point is that you can't have your imaginary drag king Jesus and eat him too.

tl;dr: S4 is bad. There are several reasons for this.

#killing eve #villaneve #text post #my stuff

[jeoseungsaja]

💋🎀💝 ( for reaper 👀👀👀 )

@ofgentleresolve ♚ from x.

♔ ———–

💋 How many people has my muse slept with?

What makes me weep about this question is that if you were to ask Reaper this, he’ll tell you that he’s slept with Kim Shin before but that’s because he’s taking the question literally --- as in, with whomst he’s slept with on the same bed or the same room, no spicy shenanigans included, just sleeping--- LMAO WEIDHWEIDHUEH BUT TO ANSWER THIS QUESTION IN A SERIOUS WAY: Within his life as a Reaper I don’t think he’s slept with anyone. This is because of the innocence and naivety he tends to carry, as well as how careful he is when it comes to touch. So, in this sense, I believe Reaper is a virgin, someone who hasn’t really delved in these kind of experiences yet.  However, as a King, in the life he doesn’t remember (yet), I think things were a little different. I’m not really talking about his marriage during youth, because both Sun and Yeo were getting to know each other (and slowly but surely falling for one another) before the whole tragedy happened. I’m talking more about the time after he lost everyone who once loved him without him fully knowing he was loved (since he was blinded by jealousy and the manipulation of his advisor).  The show doesn’t tell us a lot about the time passed between seventeen-year-old Yeo and Yeo as an adult --- we just see him all grown up and still dragging that heaviness of regret, to the point of wishing to end his own life. They don’t show us what happened during all those years, from seventeen to his thirties, which is...well, a long time, all things considered. SO I THINK THAT, perhaps, during his twenties, he tried to find ways to bury this compunction; attempted to seek for distractions and continue his life as a royal, leading him to maybe engage in some dalliances that in the end didn’t really fill the vast emptiness in his soul.  SORRY, I RAMBLED IWUEHDUWHED, BASICALLY as a Reaper he hasn’t slept with anyone, but during his life as a King I’d like to believe that he did sleep with a few people before realizing that he simply couldn’t move on. 

🎀 Who would my muse sleep with if nobody ever had to know?

FRANKLY, REAPER HERE IS JUST?? SO PURE that such a thought hasn’t even crossed his mind --- I think his thoughts are mostly filled with his job and colorful straws and trying to find out how to continue a conversation without being too awkward or suspicious IUHWEIUDHED; he’s too busy trying to figure out the world and guiding souls that the notion of sleeping with someone in particular hasn’t really invaded his head.  BUT ALL IN ALL...Reaper would sleep with someone he’s in love with, someone he adores without measure; someone who makes him feel comfortable enough to pursue this line, someone he wishes to be close with, without the need to be careful about his touch gathering a collection of flashbacks. Whether nobody ever had to know or the contrary, he’d still go with that. 

💝 Does my muse like Valentine’s Day?

He does (absolutely willing to gift things to loved ones in this day, even if he might be a little clumsy with his selection and way of gifting something; he’s trying his best, though--), but he also gets a little jealous whenever he witnesses lovey-dovey things that he thinks he can’t have because of who he is 😂. There’s this wish to belong at times, to be able to live like other people does; a kind of longing. REGARDLESS of the evanescent pouting, he ends up enjoying the holiday and finds joy in seeing others celebrating it freely. 

———– ♔

#ofgentleresolve #♔ || about. #FERRE!!!! HELLO :D!!! #THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SENDING THESE IN <3!!! #It was interesting to explore this side of Reaper #He's very inexperienced in this regard IUWEHIDHED a blank canvas if you will #Especially since he doesn't remember anything about his past life #LIKE?? He's lived 300+ years as a Reaper and such #but I really don't think that during that time he's gotten into a situation that leads him to the thought of pursuing something else #NOT UNTIL Y'KNOW the present UwU where he's been creating stronger and wondrous bonds #that eventually lead him to break some rules #👀👀👀 #THANK YOU SO MUCH AGAIN FOR SENDING THESE IN AND I HOPE THE ANSWERS MADE SENSE ;W; PLS HAVE A GREAT DAY!!! #♔ || queue.

[tacit-semantics]

i'd like to know more about madam im adam.... whomst is he

YES absolutely I’ve got you adamposting under the cut. Warning: it is long

So madam-I’m-Adam, through and through and through, is my ‘fine, I’ll do it myself’ character, by which I mean people Do Not tend to work like I do, and thus a lot of characters Do Not tend to work like I do which can get frustrating of course and so! Here we are.

At his core, Adam’s intended to be a character who understands the divide that exists between him and most people and chooses to lean into it; thus, he’s very comfortable with himself, but with other people and his environment at large? Not so much. He’s very isolated, and he knows it, and tries to play it off a lot with humor and of course all the word games he integrates into both his speech and his narration. Those are important because they form the basis of his character in that they a) illustrate connectivity in the way that he understands it b) simultaneously foster a bit of difficulty in terms of understanding things as they actually ARE, and c) thereby serve as something that connects and alienates him in the same breath, if that makes sense. metaphors aside, it’s meant to be a snapshot into the really fucking complicated process of accepting yourself and how you work when other people and the world at large might not. Also, I love language on a structural level, and I wanted a chance to freely fuck around with it.

Adam’s companion character god-dog is meant to be one of those places where his perception and like the rest of the world overlap. Not someone like him exactly, but a basis for identification and acceptance and just yknow the realization that there ARE people and things like you out there.

Also, Adam was conceived after god-dog, who in turn came from one of the nonsense poems I made up on a walk one day never wrote those down. I also remember the iamb lamb who was a walking pun that I can’t remember for the life of me. There’s no theological implications to their names other than that a) I wanted a palindrome to match god-dog and madam-I’m-Adam is well established and fits conveniently well, and b) I think it’s the funniest thing on earth to have my first real oc be named Adam.

Anyways, he still only exists as a concept and a few half decent lines, but I am proud of those lines so I’m gonna finish this off with a few more excerpts because honestly I feel like they get the point of him across much better than I managed to up there akjsjs

“I live down south, in a small house a half mile from all the other small houses, at the center of a series of backroads that wouldn’t even lead to Rome. On days like these I tend to walk a careful path back and forth between the trees, meandering my way from one pointless landmark to the next.

Today, however, I am feeling a little less kind. And as I can’t exactly take that unkindness out on anyone or anything else- I would much sooner die- I decide to do the next best thing and take it out on myself. Playing the martyr is and always has been the one thing that I’ve got going for me- it’s the curse of the chronically useless but ostensibly bearable. This is a long way of saying that I’ve got a pretty face.”

“Old Mrs. Jones is infamous for her hatred of the neighborhood children, her strange dog (this is important) and her sharp hearing. I am infamous for my tendency to do stupid things when I am bored.”

And, one last round:

“…then old Mrs. Jones will come roaring out her trailer with her broomstick and her hair pulled back tight as can be, and she’ll stand straight and tall and jab at the little black sign in the fence and, as a matter of course, she’ll put the fear of dog in you.”

And that concludes adamposting!! thank you for asking about him I was looking for an excuse to ramble cjxjhd. He is. My friend <3

#I’m very sorry if this is incoherent I got excited dbdbd #replies

[bukojuiice]

What happens when the bakusquad babysits Katsuki’s daughter? (Dad! Katsuki Bakugo x Mom! Reader) Headcanons + One-shot

ೃ pairing: (dad! katsuki bakugo x mom! reader)

ೃ  warnings: none

ೃ genre: fluff overload, parent fic/hcs

ೃ word count: 5,141 words

ೃ 1/4 of @bukojuiice’s 800 followers special!

ೃ  my nav  →  my mha writing masterlist  → my katsuki bakugo x reader smau

ೃ   A  sequel in the form of headcanons + one-shot to my dad! Bakugo fic “like the soul of honey” I recommend reading that first before going through this! Don’t worry if you don’t want to though! Both are standalone and not really connected with each other. 

ೃ   This was originally just going to be headcanons, but I didn’t want to keep writing it in hcs style halfway through so be treated to both headcanons + a one-shot instead! as you can tell already, this was so so much fun to write and i felt so soft after writing this uwu

ೃ  shoutout to two of my loves @sparkykatsuki for coming up with this idea!  I just knew i had to do it bc i love bakusquad sm!! they give me such a serotonin boost and I find it really fun writing about them!! Thank you for having such big brain energy and for conspiring this concept franz!  And to @chibishae34​ bc i know she loves baby fics as much as I do HSHSHSH

ೃ   your daughter’s name is hikari which means light. bakugo thought of that name because light is essentially a part of his quirk and hikari is a part of him.

ೃ  please do reblog if you enjoyed!! (feel free to add tags too because i love reading them and my heart swells with happiness when people love my work!) ♡

—  Hikari is blessed with the best uncles and aunts she could ever ask for!!

—  Both Bakusquad and Dekusquad take turns in helping you and Katsuki get your well deserved rest and relaxation at least once a month ever since Hikari turned 6 as... she became quite the feisty girl. Too feisty to handle actually.

—  She was energetic and playful 24/7. And so, it was hard to keep up with her energy most of the time.

—  She still remained kind and obedient yet she was also an absolute bundle of joy who would just run around the house, play with her toys, and go on roleplaying adventures with you and Katsuki. She had absolutely no idea how much she would tire you and Katsuki, however, and sometimes she would go on for hours and hours just running around the house and interacting with everything she sees.

—  She had an inquisitive mind, and although you always encourage her to be smart and be intrigued with everything, she tends to question almost everything she lays her eyes on and you end up having to come up with a witty and a very childlike answer for her to understand.

—  A good example of this is when she asked you ever so innocently about where babies come from and your husband was ABOUT TO TAKE HER QUESTION LITERALLY and give her the science talk about sexual reproduction. When the two of you agreed to only give her that talk when she turns 8 as she might not even entirely understand it in the first place.

—  “Mommy, Daddy, where do babies come from?”

—  “I guess it’s time for the talk.” Bakugo shrugs, remarking sternly. He takes his daughter’s little hand in his and bringing her to the living room. “You see, Hikari, babies come from the wo-”

—  “Storks!” You cut Bakugo off before he could say another word, nudging him on the elbow. “Hikari-chan, the babies are brought down to this world by the white and strong birds in the sky!” You whisper the last bits of information to her ear. “The storks told me that once you get older, they’ll tell you the secret of where they actually pick up the babies.”

—  “Really!?” She says in disbelief, her eyes gleaming in excitement. “YAY! YAY! YAY! I can’t wait!” She goes back to running around the house looking for even more things to ask about and you breathe a sigh of relief as soon as she leaves.

—  Although it was nice that you are able to bond as a family, it does get pretty tiring sometimes. Of course your weariness is worth the risk if it’s just to see Hikari smile.

— Especially since you and Bakugo were both pro-heroes (although you mostly do stand by pro hero work meaning you work from home almost all the time.) You found it much more enriching if both you and bakugo are guiding her and working together to create a loving and supportive family for Hikari.

— Both of your respective friend groups, whomst you remained close to ever since high school, noticed how the both of you looked tremendously exhausted and looked like you were in dire need to have 9 cups of coffee every time you would meet up with each other in between your pro hero duties.

—  And so both squads came into an agreement, that they would help the two of you out by giving you a 48 hour day off every month to do whatever the heck married couples do as they would babysit Hikari and have fun.

—  This was also a great way to get closer with their niece even if they dote on her so much already.  As you and Bakugo are the first persons in your friend groups who got married and have a child together.

—  This month, the Bakusquad is in charge of taking care of Hikari and just from the fact that Kirishima, Kaminari, Mina and Sero are going to babysit your daughter alone, you know it’s going to be chaotic.

—  Things didn’t go swimmingly last time (literally), as only Kirisihima and Kaminari were the only ones available the last time they came to babysit. They took Hikari to a community pool, and she came back with a missing tooth and some scratches on her legs from playing too much. Katsuki was NOT pleased and you had to restrain your husband from trying to obliterate his best friends even if Hikari had little to no injuries and it was normal for kids her age to have these things happens to them at least once in their childhood.

—  With your assurance and the look that was on Hikari’s face and how she would not shut up about how she loved spending time with Uncle Eijiro and Uncle Denki, Katsuki eventually let it slide and just gave his friends the usual “Katsuki Bakugo treatment” where he acts cold and angry at them, paired with his easily irritated and idgaf attitude.

—  This month however, was going to be different because Mina and Sero are finally joining along and making sure that Hikari has the best weekend since they weren’t able to babysit last time.

—  Hikari loved her Aunt Mina because she would braid her hair and style her with different cute outfits that only Mina, with her love for fashion and all things girly and pink could attempt to do and end up doing perfectly. She also taught Hikari all the dances to disney songs and nursery rhymes she knows how to do so far. Hikari affectionately refers to her Aunt Pinkie whenever Mina isn’t around.

—  Kirishima, who was the most frequent to visit the 3 of you, out of all of the Bakusquad, considers Hikari as his new #1 best friend. Dethroning and kicking her very own father from that spot. Hikari is a much more gentle and sweet version of her explosive father, and so Eijiro is able to interact and play with Hikari because he already knows Bakugo and his mannerisms very well. Hikari calls him Uncle Sharkie and she always asks her dad about how he and Kirishima became such good friends. To which Katsuki would reply with, “It’s a long story princess.”

—  Kaminari was the fun uncle. He always gave off those vibes ever since high school anyway. Giving Hikari candy behind Katsuki’s back (although you made sure Kaminari didn’t give her any that were tooth rotting sweet ones) Buying her ice cream whenever he came to drop by, and bringing her to the nearby playground amongst many other things. He spoils her a lot (in a good way) and Hikari calls her the fun “sparkie” uncle.

— Then, there was Sero. He retained his love for Spiderman since he was a kid, and he was able to pass that on to Hikari. His way of playing with her was cute since Sero is super tall, he would let Hikari ride on his shoulders, trying to imitate airplane noises as they would “fly” around the house. He gifted Hikari some child-friendly comic books for you and Katsuki to read to her before. bed. Although she never fails to say that the best heroes are her mommy and daddy. She calls Sero her Uncle Spidey.  

—  Uncle Sharkie, Uncle Sparkie, Aunt Pinkie, and Uncle Spidey. The Holy Quaternity.

(One-shot starts below this!)

“AUNT MINA! UNCLE EIJIRO! UNCLE DENKI! UNCLE SEROOO!” Hikari rushes to the door as soon as she hears the doorbell ring, she jumps into Eijiro’s arms and the red-haired pro hero twirls her around. The rest of the Bakusquad forms a circle around her, and can’t help but look at her adoringly.

“How’s my little ball of sunshine!?” Mina squeezes Hikari’s cheekies, earning giggles from the little girl. “I’m fine Aunt Mina! I mished chu!” She begins to talk in a cute accent as she just can’t contain her excitement.

“Hikari-chan! Do you still remember our little handshake?” Sero kneels down to the little girl’s height, offering her his hand. The little girl nods, shakes it and their thumbs twiddle together, as if they were thumb wrestling. They do a few more quirky hand shakes and then end it with a bang by saying “BOOM!” Sparks suddenly fly out from Hikari’s hands, her aunt and uncles coo since noticing how much her quirk has developed ever since they started babysitting.

“Okay you two!” Mina turns to you and Katsuki, as she had noticed you had some distinct luggage packed for a quick hot spring getaway, she practically pushes the two of you out of the door when Katsuki stops in his tracks, turning to his friends.

He glares at them and points his fingers to his eyes in a “I’m watching you” type of gesture. “Not one single scratch on her or all of you are dead to me.”

Kaminari laughs, patting his friend on the back, “We gotchu buddy. Your little ball of sunshine is safe in our hands. She’ll have the best time with us!”

Hikari quickly runs to you and Katsuki, giving you both a tight hug. “We love you Hikari. We’ll just be gone for two days oki? Your uncles and your aunt here will keep you safe this weekend alright? We love you!” You peck her lightly on the cheek, a pout forming on your daughter’s face.

“I’ll miss you Mommy. Daddy.” She doesn’t let go, hugging the two of you even tighter. “I loaf you! See you soon!”

“Be a good girl okay Hikari?” Katsuki kneels down to meet his daughter’s eyes, orbs that were as passionate as his, planting a kiss on her forehead. “We’ll miss you kiddo.”

You could hear Kaminari and Sero silently snicker in the background since they still can’t wrap their head around the fact that their friend could become so soft when in front of his child as opposed to his usual rough demeanor he shows to everyone else.

Katsuki wraps his arm around your waist, holding you tightly, with you dragging along the luggage that the two of you were going to bring on this trip. You bid your final goodbyes with ease and relief, knowing that your daughter will be in “safe hands” the entire weekend.

“We’re going to have so much fun!” Mina squeezes Hikari and the rest of the  Bakusquad into a hug. “What do you want to do first Hikari-chan?”

“Oh! Um! I don’t know if I should ask this b-but..” The blonde little girl hides her hands in her pockets, her feet tapping the floor. “I actually want to know how Mommy and Daddy met! Not the marry or the lovey thing! Just how they met and fell in love!”

“Hikari-chan!! You’re so cuteeeeeeee!” Kaminari begins to weep crocodile tears, pulling Hikari into another hug. “If that’s what you want to do for today, then we’ll gladly tell the story of how your mom and dad met!”

The Bakusquad formed and sat in a circle on the floor. Hikari was sitting on Mina’s lap as the latter braided her hair into what was called a Fishtail braid. Kirishima, with the help of Sato, baked some chocolate chip cookies a few days ago for all of them to snack on while they babysit Hikari.

Sero clears his voice and begins the story. “Your mom and your dad met each other in High School. Along with all of us and your Uncle Izuku, Uncle Tenya, Uncle Shoto, Aunt Ochaco, Aunt Tsuyu-” He continues to recall the names of all the other people Hikari know and love. “They were total opposites actually.”

“O-opposithes?” Hikari tilts her head, a puzzled look on her face as she tries to process what her Uncle Sero had just said. “D-does that mean that Daddy didn’t like Mommy?”

“It’s not like that Hikari-chan. Don’t worry.” Kirishima saves Sero from making the little girl misinterpret what he had just said, nudging his raven-haired friend in the arm. “It’s just that your dad was hot-headed and angry all the time, but he fell in love with your mom because she was sweet, patient and understanding!” Kirishima reiterates, a soft look on his face, looking back on the sweet sentimental memories of high school. “They were perfect for each other!”

“Oh! So daddy was angy all the time? Since mommy is really nice she told Daddy to be nice and they fell in love!?”

Mina giggles, continuing to style Hikari’s hair. “Yes Hikari-chan. That’s exactly what happened! You’re so good!”

“I am!?” Yay!” She claps her hands together, a wide smile present on her face, she was becoming more and more intrigued. “Tell me more please!”

“Well...” Kaminari continued where Kirishima had left off, “Your mom and dad got closer because they got teamed up to fight our pro hero teacher for our exam! They fought and they had a hard time talking to each other but they passed the exam in the end! It was hard at first. Your dad kept on telling us that he didn’t like your mom in a lovey way but we kept on pushing him until he accidentally said that he liked her! Your mommy heard what he said and then she told him that she liked him too!”

“F-fight? I thought Daddy only fights bad guys...” Her voice begins to crack as if she was about to cry. The Bakusquad were about to speak up and explain but failed to because as soon as Mina was done braiding her hair, Hikari immediately stands up and bows politely to the four adults. “I’m going to play with Mr. Rilakkuma for a while. See you later!” She grabs a cookie from the plate and rushes into her room, locking the door behind her.

“See you later Hikari-chan!” Kaminari waves cluelessly, not realizing what he had just said that prompted Hikari to leave the room in the first place. Mina stands up on her knees, shooting him a glare and flicking his forehead, “Did you not realize what you just did!?”

“Ahh what did I do!?” He rubs the spot on his forehead that Mina had just hit, and looks at his two other friends for a clue as to why they were ganging up with him.

“I guess Chargedolt will always be Chargedolt.” Sero shrugs, shaking his head in disappointment.. “Hikari misinterpreted what you said. She thinks that Bakubro used to fight (Y/N) like she’s a villain or something back when we were in High School.”

“WAIT! OBJECTION! SHE MISINTERPRETED YOUR STORY FIRST-”

“Guys. Guys. There’s nothing we can do about it. Both of you slipped, so let’s give Hikari-chan some space first then talk to her later.” Kirishima cuts Kaminari off before he and Sero would start an argument,  which would prompt Hikari to further think more negative thoughts.

“(Y/N) said that Hikari-chan’s been liking Tonkotsu Ramen recently, so I think it’s best if all of us help out in cooking her favorite comfort food to cheer her up.” Mina sighs deeply, crossing her arms. She heads straight to the kitchen without uttering another word, the three other guys follow suit.

After several hours, it was finally night time and time for dinner! At the orders of Mina, Sero and Kaminari came to pick up Hikari from her room.

Sero knocked softly. “Hikari-chan? It’s time for dinner!”

“We cooked your favoriteee Tonkatsu Ramen!” Kaminari added in a playful voice.

No reply.

“Hikari-chan?” Sero knocks again, a bit louder this time. He then turns to Denki and whispers, “Maybe she’s asleep?”

Before the two men were to retreat and go back to the living room, the door to the little girl’s room was unlocked with a long click, as if there was hesitance..

Denki quickly turns the knob to be surprised at the sight of Hikari... packing her clothes into a cute backpack?

“Hikari-chan! W-what are you doing?” Kaminari runs to her, trying to stop her from folding her clothes.

“I’m going to go see Mommy and Daddy! I’ll go take a bus and find them!” She wipes the tears streaking down her cheeks, sniffing her nose while attempting to stuff her teddy bear inside her backpack. “Daddy took Mommy so that they’re going to fight aren’t they!? I don’t want that!”

“No no no no no Hikari. It’s not like that!” Kaminari wipes the little girl’s tears with a handkerchief, he gestures Sero to call Kirishima and Mina whilst he tries to comfort the girl. “Your dad took your mom out because today is their lovey anniversary! It wasn’t because they were going to fight!”

“Ah! Owkay!” Hikari suddenly raises her head, taking the handkerchief from Denki and wiping her tears.  “Can I visit Daddy and Mommy then!?”

“O-oh well...”

“Of course we can go Hikari-chan!” Kirishima barges in, Sero and Mina close behind him. “Let’s surprise them!”

“Yay! Surprising them! I love surprises!” The little girl jumps up and down in her place. “What time do we go!? What time do we goooo!?”

“After dinner you little cutie.” Mina smiles at the younger Bakugo’s sudden shift in mood. “We cooked your favorite Tonkotsu Ramen!”

“AH! TONKOTSU RAMEN TONKOTSU RAMEN!” Hikari wiggles her arms, slightly pushing the adults out of the way and runs out of her room, Sero catches up to her, only to find her sitting properly on the dining table. “I’m ready to eat now! Just waiting for all of you!” She shouts from outside.

“She’s absolutely fricking adorable.” Kaminari remarks. “But Kiri.. are you serious? We’re actually going all the way to a prefecture and bring her to her parents? Isn’t our job supposed to be keeping her here while they rest and relax in the onsen?”

“W-well... It’s not like we can do anything about it right?” Eijiro shrugs off Denki’s concern, holding on to a stress ball that Hikari had in her room. “She’ll be moping around and going back to overthinking about what her parents are doing right now. We’ll take her there and besides, once we do get there, (Y/N) and Bakugo already had a day’s worth of rest. And I think it’s time for us to take Hikari on a road trip and have fun with her!”

“Uncle Eijiro.. Aunt Mina... Uncle Denki... what’s taking you so long?” Hikari yawns and rubs her eyes, still holding on to her chopsticks. “The ramen is going to get cold...”

“Oh no! It is!?” Mina reacts quickly, taking Hikari’s hand and leading her to the table. “Let’s get there before Elsa makes it even colder!”

“NOOOOOO!! Elsa’s going to do that!? Whyyyyyy!?”

“Let’s just hope that this isn’t a repeat of what happened when we took her to the community pool.” Kaminari shakes his head, recalling the past event. “Bakugo almost killed us if it weren’t for (Y/N).”

“I don’t think it will. Besides, Sero and Mina will be with us, so the more the merrier!”

Oh and the merrier it was.

“HAKUNA MATATA! WHAT A WONDERFUL PHRASE!” Bakusquad along with Hikari, sing in unison. Bopping along to the iconic song from Lion King.

“IT MEANS NO WORRIES! FOR THE REST OF YOUR DAYS!” Hikari belts out, the others clapping along to her singing, doing their best to hype her up

Kirishima was singing Timone’s lines, Kaminari was singing Pumba’s, Sero and Mina were the background vocals and and Hikari was singing Simba’s lines.

It was 6 am in the morning and they were finally on the road and on the way to a Hot Springs Resort in Chiba Prefecture, where you and Bakugo were staying in for the weekend.

Kirishima was driving the SUV that he immediately bought when he got his first Pro Hero paycheck, Denki was riding shotgun, and Hikari was seated at the middle squeezed in by both Mina and Sero.

Disney Songs were set to be played for the entire morning to tire out Hikari and so that she can sleep peacefully and rid Bakusquad of the slight annoyance they will receive when she asks “Are we there yet?” every 2 minutes.

Denki had unfortunately messed up the spotify playlist that Jiro had given him, and the piano opening of A Thousand Miles begins to play.

“OMG IT’S OUR SQUAD SONG!” Mina’s eyes lit up as soon as the well-known piano keys blared out from the speakers. “MAKING MY WAY DOWNTOWN, WALKING FAST, FACES PASS AND I’M HOMEBOUND!”

The iconic part before the chorus begins to play and the boys sing along, “AND I NEED YOU! AND I MISS YOUUU!” They shake their shoulders to the beat, and Hikari giggles along.

“CAUSE YOU KNOW I’D WALK A THOUSAND MILES IF I CAN JUST SEE YOU TONIGHTTTTT.” Bakusquad sings dramatically in unison, raising their hands up high and just vibing to the beat.

“Hikari-chan! You should totally hear your dad sing this! He loves this song!” Mina turns to the little girl who continued to laugh at how chaotic her aunt and uncles were being. “Really!? I want to learn it then so that Mommy and Daddy would know that I can be a singer too!”

The song ends and yet everyone else was still vibing. After the current song, the hype and the energy has died down and Hikari is fast asleep on Mina’s lap and her feet were lying on a pillow that was placed on Sero’s lap.

“She really is a spitting image of both (Y/N) and Bakugo. They’re really great parents.” said Sero, who wanted to break the silence and keep the atmosphere lively.

“My mind is still shook over the fact that Bakubro would turn so soft every time he’s in the same room as his daughter. It’s a complete 180 on his personality, and I really wanna tease him about it when we finally get the chance.” Kaminari interjects. “Do you think Bakugo would get mad when we arrive there?”

“Trust me on this guys.” Kirishima says casually, stepping on the gas pedal, as they go up the highway. “Bakugo won’t. In fact, I think both he and (Y/N) would be delighted to see their daughter travel for 180 miles just because of a misunderstanding.”

♡

“Suki-kun... do you think I should call up Mina to ask how Hikari’s doing?” You reach for your phone on the bedside table. “It’s 6 AM maybe Hikari forgot to drink her gummmy vitamins-”

“She’s going to be fine.” Katsuki murmurs in his bedhead voice, turning to your side of the bed to spoon you and nestle his head on your neck. “I trust Kirishima and the others.”

“This is surprising. You’re very casual about this now. What happened to your skepticism? Weren’t you too worried about how they were going to babysit Hikari after the pool incident?”

“To hell with that. If Hikari loves them, and they love her back just as much, might as well just roll with it. They’re my friends anyway and it’s better than Ilda scolding her for eating 4 M&Ms at 9 in the evening.”

You chuckle, holding his hands that were wrapped around your waist. “That’s harsh but you got a point. Although Hikari loves my friends and yours equally, they do think of Hikari as a little Bakugo so, they’re able to connect with her more.”

“What time do the private mixed gender hot springs open up again?” He grumbles suggestively and you giggle. “They open at 9 am. Should I reserve that time slot?”

“You should.” He growls but before you could even reply, he falls back to sleep.

♡

“WE’RE HERE!” Kirishima announces, waking Kaminari, Mina and Sero up from their sleep.

“W-what if this isn’t the right onsen?” Denki yawns, looking around to take in the view.

“I asked (Y/N) last night where they were staying. This is the place! She even gave me their room number for some reason.” Mina stretches her arms then pats Hikari on the forehead lightly. “Hikari we’re here...”

The little girl slowly opens her eyes, sitting up, then looks out the window.

“HOT SPRINGS! ONSEN!” She hastily tidies up her backpack and gets down the car as soon as Sero opens the door.

“Hikari-chan! Wait for us first!” Sero runs after her, making sure she doesn’t get too far.

“It’s 9 AM... I wonder if those two lovebirds are awake already.” Kaminari looks at the watch on his wrist, as he brings down their stuff from the trunk of the car.

“I looked this place up last night. It’s a family friendly hot springs resort, but it’s famed for it’s private mixed gender onsen. I wonder why though...” Mina mused, helping Denki out with bringing their stuff down.

Kirishima gets out of the car and bobs his head up as soon as he heard what Mina had said. He looks at Kaminari trying to tell him something through his stare. The mustard-haired man’s eyes widened when he realized why Kirishima was looking at him, then he turns to Mina who finally realizes what the mixed gender onsen meant.

“Oh.”

They enter the beautiful and lush resort, spotting Sero and Hikari who were sitting near the reception area, waiting for their reservation and for the rooms to be confirmed.

“Can’t believe we had to pay double the price for a standard room.” Kaminari pouts, whispering to Kirishima as the red-haired man hands him over the credit cards of each of his friends and then he hands it over to the concierge. He notices how excited Hikari looked and couldn’t help but smile.

As soon as the reservation was confirmed, Bakusquad and Hikari were able to check in immediately. Mina takes Hikari to her room while the three other boys were sharing their room with each other.

“Hikari before you can surprise your parents, you have to wear this Yukata first okay?” Mina helps fasten the bath robe on Hikari, but the little girl can’t help but be energetic and start dancing in her place. “Have you memorized the A Thousand Miles chorus already to sing to your mommy and daddy?”

“I have!”

Mina takes Hikari outside, the other boys were already out too and were wearing their bath robes.

“I saw (Y/N) enter this onsen. Maybe that’s where she and Bakugo are in? Should we take Hikari there?” Kaminari asks his three other friends, sipping on a fruit-flavored ramune, and handing one to Hikari.

“Yes please! I want to see Mommy and Daddy as soon as possible and then surprise them!” She sips on her ramune, looking at her aunt and uncles pleadingly, begging them to bring her there.

♡

“I could have sworn I heard Kaminari-kun’s voice outside.” You tell Katsuki, closing the screen door to the open air bath. You were holding a plate full of sliced Watermelon. Your robe was still on and you wanted to eat something first before getting in.

“Tch. Probably just your imagination.” Bakugo breathes a sigh of relief, slipping in further in the hot water. “I could get used to something like this every month.”

“Oh really?” You raise your eyebrow, and lick your lips. “Could you get used to-”

“If I could fall into the sky, do you think time would pass us ByYYY?”

You jolt up at the sweet and all too familiar voice that was echoing from the outside. Before you could even react properly, someone knocks on the door to reveal...

“Mommy! Daddy!”

“Hikari!?”

She jumps to you and pulls you into a tight hug. “I missed you so much! I thought you and Daddy were fighting that’s why you left!”

“Fighting!?” You look back and forth to Bakusquad then to your daughter. “Of course not! Why would we-”

“Uncle Sewo and Uncle Denki told me that you guys would always fight when you were in school! That’s why I thought that-”

“They did... what?” Bakugo’s tone becomes slightly irritated at the mention of Kaminari and Hanta’s name. The Bakusquad were about to face death and the consequences until...

“Oh! But! They also taught me a song today! It’s called A Thousand Miles! They said it was Daddy’s favorite!” She then turns to her father with such admiration in her eyes as she begins to sing the chorus. “Cause you know I’d walk a thousand miles just to see youuu~”

“Nice one sunshine. Did you learn that for me?” He gestures Hikari to approach him, ruffling her hair as she kneels down to peck him on the cheek. “I did!”

“It’s your favorite song! So, I also traveled a thousand miles to see you and Mommy!”

“Not necessarily a thousand miles, dear. But you’re close enough! You still traveled to see us! Yay!” You clap at the genius remark your daughter had made. You turn to the Bakusquad, nodding your head at them and smile. “Thank you for taking care of Hikari and bringing her here just because she wanted to. We’ll see you later at lunch?”

“Of course! Of course!” Mina waves goodbye, a tired but loving smile formed on her face. “We had a fun time with Hikari and we just couldn’t help but bring her here. But, you have Kiri to thank for all of this though!”

“No, I shouldn’t get all of the credit. This is a Bakusquad group effort, if Kaminari and Sero didn’t slip and if Hikari didn’t misunderstand their words, then we wouldn’t be here in the first place.” Kirishima cuts Mina off in a respectful way. He claps his hands together and pulls your other friends out of the room. “See ya guys later!”

“Thanks guys.” Bakugo nods generously to his friends. It was something he didn’t always do, but when he does, well, it’s worth seeing.

“Bye Uncle Sharkie, Aunt Pinkie, Uncle Sparkie and Uncle Spidey!” Hikari waves goodbye jovially, not realizing that she just called them the affectionate nicknames that she’s too embarrassed to say in front of them.

The four laugh at the little girl’s slip-up and they leave the hot springs in good spirits.

After that wonderful weekend, you explained to Hikari about why you’re taking a rest every month in the first place. She didn’t quite get the concept at first but after a little bit more of explaining, she came up with the idea that the two of you get four rest days in a month. One weekend just for you and Katsuki then the other weekend is for the three of you and if any of the Bakusquad or Dekusquad would want to come along.

It was the perfect agreement and if Hikari was going to grow up in an environment where she had the best aunts and uncles in the universe, then she’s going to grow up to be a great kid. Just like the adults in her life once were.

The End.

#bakugo katsuki x reader #katsuki bakugo x reader #bakugo x reader #bakugou katsuki x reader #katsuki bakugo fluff #katsuki bakugou #bakugou x reader #katsuki bakugou x reader #bakusquad #mha #bnha #mha x reader #bnha x reader #my hero academia x reader #boku no hero academia x reader #mha fluff #bnha fluff #bakugo fluff #bakugou x y/n #katsuki bakugo x y/n #bakugou fluff #mha bakugou #mha x y/n #bnha x y/n #bakugo katsuki x y/n #bakugo #katsuki bakugo

[void-inked-pen]

The Mandolin

ROTTMNT Fantasy Fic Collab Between: Me and @undercoverwizardfanfiction​

Above art by: @imaginashon​

Inspired by: @thehandleisjammed​

Characters: Mikey and Donnie

Pairings: holds charmy back if you know what’s good for you, you’ll know the answer is never (or do you want this one at your throat?)

Summary: in so many ways they are still strangers to one another but if they keep a open heart to one another they might someday call each other brothers

---

He is the master of focus.

Were words no one had ever spoken about Mikey ever. But right now, his eyes were focused (well, cross eyed) on a large red beetle situation on an even larger flower. He is only vaguely aware of Raph calling after him before he leaps out from his hiding spot like a chimera pouncing on its prey. His hands are only about to close around the bug when the beetle takes off in surprise (Mikey is only mildly sure he heard the bug ‘meep’ as it went) before he landed in the flower bush. After a few moments, and after a few of Infinity’s concerned coos, he pops his head back out of the bushes.

 “I almost got him that time!” Mikey says with a wide grin. Raph and Leo both give him a look that’s between two degrees of confusion but Donnie, under his hood, shakes his head with a tremble to his shoulders in what was probably suppressed laughter.

“Mikey” Raph calls tiredly, “we’re almost to town, can you please keep up?”

“Yeah on it!” He jumps out of the bushes and hurries over with a skip to his step.

Donnie watched his younger brother skip up to them with mild amusement. He had only known his youngest brother for a few months now and his upbeat attitude and absolutely innocent curiosity was both endearing and only slightly envious. When was the last time I was like that? The thought came out of nowhere and almost completely wiped his decent mood. But the answer that came bothered him more than the initial question; he couldn’t remember.

Trying to return to the present and not follow that train of thought any further, Donnie rubbed his tired eyes and continued following his brothers into town. Leo and Mikey were chatting away about the differences between some sort of bird, while Raph remained vigilant like some sort of escort.

“You know,” he said walking up beside the oldest. His sudden appearance startling the larger turtle. “This trip would be more enjoyable if you relaxed a bit, big guy.” Don smirked as Raph just huffed in response.

Mikey tries his best not to to smile at Raph’s tired expression that clearly says ‘how the hell can I relax with three loose hyperactive hooligans to look after’ but is grateful when Raph doesn’t say anything (except for sighing with the exhaustion of someone three times his age and on their deathbed).

Donnie and Raph walked in comfortable silence for a while before they both realized they couldn’t hear chattering behind them anymore and turned around to see the two youngest entranced by an expensive stall of goods.

Mikey turns back to is conversation partner after watching the oldest pair ahead of them settle into a calm stride. What had he been talking about again? “The Waxing Owl!” Mikey exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air suddenly returning to his train of thought, “the Waxing Owl is totally cool! You have no idea!”

“And….it’s different from a Full Moon Owl?” Leo asks. Though his expression is confused and only borderline condescending it’s a massive improvement to just a few days ago, “I mean i just wanted to know the difference between a african swallow and a european swallow-“

“Yeah yeah! Cause Moon Owls can tell the future! And if you see one during a certain moon phase that’s the kind of luck you’re supposed to get! I’ve heard entire groups of people scouring the Mist Forest trying to see one during a Waxing Moon! Its so cool and- and if you see a Waxing Owl AND a Sun Burst flower in the same month then-“ and just as it was a moment ago, Mikey loses his train of thought as his mouth drops open. Normally it would be a weird dessert he had never seen before or an extra snuggly puppy that would get his attention. But what has him now is a large storefront, he barely notices the elaborate lettering or the shopkeeper out front shining up his new door. Mikey is already standing in front of the glass with both hands pressed against it. Through the now misting up glass he can see a wooden box with a long neck and strings , “Woooooooooooow” He says “What’s that thing?”

“Hey!” the store keeper snaps hard enough at Mikey he flinched away “Off my window cretin, I just had those refinished. “

Mikey stumbles back and bumps Donnie, who nearly loses his balance as he tries to use his bad leg to keep from falling, “So-sorry Dee.” He says quietly, shoulders hunched and sad. But he looks back towards the window , “I-I've never seen anything like that before.”

Donnie steadied himself before looking up at the store window.

“You… Mean the mandolin?” He looked back at his brother for confirmation and could have sworn he saw twinkles in his eyes. “It’s an instrument you strum with your fingers and part of the lute family. I heard a famous musician used one to serenade a rich maiden into marrying him.” Donnie left out the part about how the musician was actually the family's hired fool, mainly because the story also didn't end well.

Mikey appeared to practically be vibrating in excitement as he stared at the string instrument. “I’ve always wanted to play something like that, Todd used to tell me stories about a caravan that performed music as they traveled but he didn't have an instrument of his own to teach me.”

Donnie looked at him thoughtfully before glancing back up at the mandolin again and almost balking at the base price. He subtly looked back at the store owner who appeared to be getting more and more annoyed with the four yokai’s presence. Ever so gently, Donnie grabbed the smaller turtle by the shoulders and shifted him away from the storefront.

“I think... we’re gonna have to pass on this one Mike.” He said, observing the store with a critical eye.

The younger turtle gave off a disappointed whimper and looked away sadly before hopping back into a conversation with Leo. Don could have sworn when they were leaving the storefront, the blue turtle also seemed unhappy with the price of such a simple instrument. With one more glance back at the snooty storekeeper, Donnie made a decision.

After some discussion, they (Raph) decided that staying in town was far too expensive on their already limited funds. Mikey wasn’t entirely sure why Raph was suddenly so eager to leave, especially since they hadn't visited the library yet. But it probably had to do with the wary look that the large turtle was giving Donnie, who had stayed silent after their run in with the shopkeep.

What Raph DID allow, however, was for Mikey to pick out some sweets at a baking booth that they could enjoy after dinner. It wasn’t long after that that the four of them left the town behind them. Not far enough to be gone from its sight but far enough for Raph to give a sigh of relief.

“Ok boys, let's get camp set up and dinner ready.”

“You know, if I was in proper attire, I probably could have talked that man into giving us his entire store and thanking us for it.” Said Leo with a stiff upper lip as he gathered the smallest branches humanly possible.

“yes, and attract every bounty hunter and well meaning lawman in town.” Donnie made a show of reaching over and pulling up Leos’ hood. The red slider pouts at him before readjusting his hood to allow him to see better. “Rude.” He scoffs.

Don smirks in turn before going over to where Mikey was pouring over a pot of vegetables.

“Here,” he hands over the herbs he had gotten earlier, “Keep it up. I’m going to go see if I can find any more in the forest.” Donnie says. He’s grateful when Mikey only gives him a beam in response before going back to his cooking.

Donnie makes sure to glance and ensure he hadn’t gotten Leo and Raph’s attention (Raph was too busy brushing Buddy to babysit him) as he stepped back in the direction of the town they had come from, and in a blink, disappeared…

-----

“Hey, has anyone seen Donnie?” Mikey looked up from his ministrations after hearing the slight panic from the blue turtle. Leo was looking around with a worried look, one he’d been expressing a lot more lately after they had met back up after the ‘missing ring’ incident.

“OH! He just went to gather some more herbs for me in the forest. Don’t worry, he said he’d be right back~” He said in order to calm down Leo, but somehow agitated his other brother instead.

“Wait, he said what?” Raph looked up from brushing Buddy with alarm. “Son of a- okay, here’s the deal. Leo, you stay here an watch Mikey and I’ll go after Donnie before he does something stupid!” Raph stood up quickly, dropping the brush as he spoke his orders.

“I’m sorry, but whomst are you calling stupid?” Everyone jumped as the purple turtle in question, hopped down from a tree.

“Seriously Dee, you gotta stop doing that.” Leo breathed in relief. Donnie only raised an eyebrow in confusion before walking over to Mikey.

“Okay, then explain. Where were you?” Raph crossed his arms with a knowing look.

“Gathering these,” Donnie turned around and held up a small cluster of herbs, “like I said I was.”

The two oldest glared at each other for a few seconds in silence before Raph grumbled away in defeat. Donnie, feeling victorious, turned back towards his younger brother only to see something he wasn't expecting. Mikey was looking at him with a blank expression.

“...What?” “... Why did you lie?” Mikey asked in concern. Donnie tensed up.

“I...” Don paused, looking back to where Raph had returned to his chore before putting the herbs down in Mikey's hand, “I didn’t-”

“Yes you did.” In a way, Donnie hates that Mikey can usually see right through him. And he happens to be looking through him with those eyes that still held the softness of a child far younger than Mikey. Somehow it feels harder and harder to lie to him by the day.

Donnie manages a sigh, before sitting down by the fire to give his leg, and the new stinging wound on his side, a break. “For the record, I technically didn’t lie. I did get more herbs.” Again those eyes bore into him like a truth telling light, “But, I didn’t like the way that shopkeep talked to you earlier.” He reaches into his bag and pulls out the mandolin that Mikey had been admiring.

The youngest lets out a soft gasp, hands over his mouth for a moment before he reaches out as though to take it before drawing his hands back, “W-why did you steal it thought?” Mikey asked quietly.

“I just told you, you wanted it and that shopkeep was a–”

“No-I...” Mikey pauses again, “I mean why do you steal? At all?”

Donnie felt something in his chest tighten. He had to look away in order to calm his breathing and stop the dust around him from shifting. Why do you steal? The question rang in his head so loudly it was beginning to get harder and harder to hear the crackling of the fire.

A hand gently placed itself onto his shoulder and he couldn’t stop himself from flinching and tensing up hard at the touch. But the hand didn’t move away.

“...I… I’m sorry I didn’t mean to upset you I just… I wanted to know” Mikey said softly.

It took a few more calming breaths for him to finally look back into those kind eyes.

“... You could say… it was the family business that helped me become the thief I am now,” Don sniffled, “but truthfully… It's how I managed to survive so long. Mike, not everyone has the option to follow a path of honest work. If I had tried to follow any number of opportunities towards something I was passionate about… I wouldn’t last long.” Donnie said that last line almost too quietly to hear.

“What do you mean?” Mikey’s face scrunched up in confusion.

With another deep breath Donnie prepared himself. “If i tried to follow a path academically, like I had always wanted… She would find me.” He shivered as he continued, “If I had tried to make ends meet as a crafter, I would have failed due to my magic limitations… Mike, I never had the option for much else.”

“B-but.” Mikey tries to start back up again even as he interlocks his fingers and lowers his head, “That’s not fair.”

When he looks up again he’s surprised to see Donnie giving him a soft smile. His eyes could easily be mistaken for either pity or some other emotion that Mikey doesn’t understand. But the thief reaches out and places a rough but soft hand on Mikey’s scalp, rubbing it in the same way one might ruffle someone’s hair.

“Just please enjoy it? If Raph asks where it came from you can blame me. He blames me for everything else.” Which wasn’t entirely true, but often days he felt Jupiter James’s words spoke through Raph more then Raph’s own sense of morals. And, considering Raph was one of the kindest people Donnie had ever met, made his heart ache. But as he does with everything else, Don smiles.

For a moment Mikey feels the hand on his scalp twitch like he’s considering tapping their foreheads together but instead he hands over the earned prize that Mikey takes, unable to hide the excited smile on his face, already strumming the strings with giggles in his throat. Testing them to see what noises it’ll make. It won't be long before Mikey teaches himself how to play.

Donnie has to wait until the middle of the night before he finally sees the arrow wound in his side (It was a cheap, extremely lucky shot). But as he tends to the wound, he still smiles.

To steal for himself was just for survival.

But to steal for his brother, to make him smile was an act he’d never regret.

----------------------------------------------------------------

Thanks for reading! 

also thank you Ash for the beautiful art for this fic~ all of this was kinda spur of the moment and im glad this turned out so fun!

we had fun writing this together~ The fantasy AU is one of my personal all time fav au’s and I highly recommend reading more in the ao3 collection

- Pen

#rottmnt #riseofthetmnt #tmnt mikey #tmnt donnie #fanfic #collab #rottmnt fantasy au #the messenger the hunter the prince and the thief #fantasy au #rottmnt donnie #rottmnt mikey

[nat-20s]

 Part 8 of the wonderful! Au: the boys answer some questions! Up to you to decide if they actually clarify anything!

(also on AO3)

~*~

Martin: Hey everyone! I know what some of you are thinking right now: it's not Tuesday, why is this episode in my feed? I know significantly more of you are thinking: I don't consistently keep up with podcast releases, how much free time do you think I have, buddy? To answer your queries: this is a bonus episode! We're answering listener questions to clear the air and/or have fun. Also, I don't know, around 20 to 40 minutes a week, as that is the average amount of time per episode? Maybe during your commute? My husband's omnipotence has been gone for five years, we just have to guess at that sort of thing now.

Jon: For legal reasons, that last statement was a joke. In fact, to cover all of our bases, we do not guarantee that any of our responses are genuine.

Martin: Just because we say we'll answer things doesn't mean we'll answer truthfully. Though, honestly, I think we might make it more enjoyable if we do tell the truth. Like, I don't necessarily have a fun lie prepared for our first question from konspiracyking97: "What's their fuckin deal anyway?"

Jon: Is this referring to the oblique references  we've made about being from a parallel reality and only ending up here as a consequence of ending one apocalypse and potentially starting another or the general premise of the show?

Martin: Oh, it's gotta be general premise, yeah?

Jon: In that case, I'm Jon, the other voice you're hearing is Martin, we're married, and we talk about things that are..nice? Good? Usually generally but occasionally rather specifically pleasant.

Martin: That pretty much covers it. It's not a complicated show. Uhh, next question comes from Shane: are either or both of you aliens? Nope!

Jon: Well..

Martin: No. We are 100% human people from Earth, we are under no definition extraterrestrial.

Jon: Eh..

Martin: Okay, first off, I know the tone of that 'eh' and "not fully human" is not synonymous with alien, so even if 100% is being a bit generous, we're still from the same planet as our listeners.

Jon:..

Jon: But. We sort of aren't though. Technically speaking.

Martin: No no no no no. I don't care if it's parallel, Earth is Earth is Earth, regardless of whatever nonsense metaphysics might be occurring.

Jon: So what you're saying is that if you got sucked through a portal and landed on an Earth where dinosaurs were still the predominant species, you wouldn't consider yourself to be an alien?

Martin: Nope!

Jon: I'm certain that they would consider you an alien. All of their mammals are probably shrew sized.

Martin: Sounds like a them problem.

Jon: Sounds like a-?! You know what, no, this will be an off the record debate, for now, I suppose I concede that the two Earths and our physiologies are similar enough that we might, maybe, not count as aliens.

Martin: Thank you. Anyway, our next question is from anonymous, and asks, "Is all of this an ARG?"

Jon: A whomst?

Martin: Alternate reality game. It's a method of storytelling that's interactive with audience, and usually has, I dunno, a certain suspension of disbelief to it where it pretends to be something actually happening in the real world until a dramatic reveal. A lot times it was used as a marketing gimmick, but others have done it just for fun. I can show you some examples after the show?

Jon: So it's in essence a more involved creepypasta?

Martin, delighted: Aw, babe, I'm never going to have a handle on what pop culture you are and aren't aware of, huh?

Jon: We were born within a year of each other, and I've told you that I was a deeply morbid teenager, you should probably be able to intuit some of things, love.

Martin: This coming from a man who has yet to see "It's a Wonderful Life", but has seen every film in the "Banjo Cannibals" franchise, including the Easter special. Jesus doesn't exist in the Banjo Cannibals universe, why does it have an Easter special?

Jon: The movies are rather shoddily translated from Russian, so I'm fairly certain the Easter component of that special was invented wholesale in the English version.

Martin: You say that like it answers more questions than it raises.

Jon: Yes, because it does. Oh, and to answer anonymous's question, no, this isn't an ARG. From my understanding of it, if it were, it'd be a poorly constructed one, as there's no real game element to any of this.

Martin: Hmm. Well, sometimes the game component is just trying to figure out what's going on with the story, or if there's any deeper content, and people are definitely doing that with this show.

Jon: That's not by design though. It's more a side effect of us having poor brain to mouth filters, I'd say.

Martin: Harsh, but fair. Oh, this next one is from Zac, no K, who asks, "Are you two actually even married?"

Jon, flat: We are, but it's under false names because this whole thing is an elaborate insurance scam.

Jon, incredulous: Yes, obviously, we're married. What did you hear in this podcast that would make you wonder otherwise, and how do we rectify it?

Martin: Clearly we need to up our quota for how "disgustingly in love" and "horrifically sappy" we are per episode. Which segues nicely into the next question from Gwen, "What's your favourite wonderful thing you've brought so far?" My answer: my husband. He's kind of my favourite in most things, you know?

Jon: Boooooo

Martin: Why, what's your favourite thing?

[Jon reluctantly sighs]

Jon, indulgent: being married.

Martin: A: serves you right for trying to pretend you're the less horrifically sappy and romantic one even though earlier today someone put a love note in the lunch they packed for me-

Jon:- Lies and slander! I have never, in my life, done that, even once.

Martin: Oh, sure, not even once. And you definitely don't reserve the lilac sticky notes specifically for my lunches because you know I like the colour. 

Jon: I..I don't.. you're rather ruining my image here.

[Martin snorts]

Martin: Can't have the audience think that you are, on occasion, an incredibly doting husband-

Jon: -A title I would argue we both share-

Martin: - which is obviously why, even with it being your favourite thing you've brought, being married to me is just a small wonder-

Jon, audibly rolling his eyes: As I already explained-

[A Pause}

Jon: Actually, you're right-

Martin: Wait-

Jon:- I really should have brought it as a larger wonder-

Martin: Wait-

Jon: though I should warn you, I think I'd have far too much material for just one little segment-

Martin: No no no no no-

Jon:- In fact, I think I might have too much material for just one little episode-

Martin: Joo-oon-

Jon: I might have to do a whole series! Where would I even start? I mean I could talk about how every day I get to watch the early morning sun highlight your curls when I get up first, or hear you quietly humming and shuffling around the kitchen when you do, or I could talk about how the lunch notes only started in the first place as retaliation to the notes you would leave on the mirror for me to find, or how every time I get to see you at ease in a way that you aren't with anyone else, it takes my breath away, or I could talk about how cute I find the lines between your eyebrows that you only get when you're thinking something petty, but you know it's petty so you don't want to say anything-

Martin: Okay, okay, Christ, I give !up I surrender, and will cease my teasing on this particular topic.

Jon, probably making the :3 face: You don't have to stop. I mean, I could also discuss how very, very attractive I find your voice when it takes on a teasi-mmph!

[There's a pleased hum, then a pause.]

[The audio quality is slightly changed, as if the recording has been stopped and then started later]

Martin, giddy: Uh, heh, anyway, Eric asked what the least favourite thing we've brought was, and because of Jon's attempt to embarrass me live-

Jon, overlapping: It's definitely not live-

Martin:- on air, I'm gonna say it's my husband.

[Jon scoffs]

Jon : If the past few minutes are any sort of indication, I'm going to go ahead and saying that you are lying.

Martin, sighing contentedly: Maybe a bit, but how was I supposed to resist when your indigance gives you that adorable little nose scrunch? In reality, my least favourite thing was probably, um, mini golf? Which, I still don't think is inherently bad, definitely superior to regular golf, but when it's the only thing a next door two year old wants to do with you, the charm begins to wear off a bit.

Jon: Wow. A rather scathing review of a toddler.

Martin: Not so much a scathing review of a toddler as it's a scathing review of minigolf's inability to keep its appeal after the third time in the same week.

Jon: Mmm, the sound effects rather quickly go from part of the atmosphere to part of the irritation, don't they?

Martin: So what's your least favorite thing we've covered here?

Jon: Oh, love, I'm not going to pretend to have nearly enough memory of what we've covered so far to have a least favorite.

Martin: Really? Nothing that you regret or rescind?

Jon: Well, regret, certainly. It was one of the weeks where you went first, and your second item was mutual aid funds, and what they can do for marginalized communities, and I had to follow it with fucking Slapchop.

Martin, poorly suppressing laughter: In your defence, Slapchop, or whatever offbrand we have, is pretty useful, especially when either your scar or my arthritis is acting up.

Jon: I'm still not convinced you didn't somehow see my notes for the recording and decided you get revenge for the first year that we knew each other.

Martin, no longer suppressing his laughter: Yep, you got me! This marriage wasn't an act of insurance fraud, but it was a near decade long con to humiliate you on a podcast that about twenty people listen to. I'll draft up the divorce papers immediately, and then we can finally go our separate ways. 

Jon: I'm glad you've at last admitted it. Such a weight off of my shoulders. Goodbye forever then.

Martin: Right.

Jon: Right.

[A beat.]

[There's a pfft from one of them, before both dissolve into giggles that lasts a good 30 seconds.]

Martin, slightly out of breath: I can't believe we're the kind of people that talk this much about speciality kitchen gadgets.

Jon: Sorry about that.

Martin: God, don't apologize. I'm, like, deliriously happy with our varying degrees of useful cooking ware filled life. If you had told 25 year old me that one day he'd be debating the merits of getting a tortilla press with his husband, he'd have wept, I tell you.

Jon: Funny, if you told 25 year old me the same thing, he would've said "You don't know the future,piss off" and then quietly have a bit of a panic at 3 am that night.

Martin: I bet you were insufferable in your mid-twenties.

Jon: First of all, who isn't, secondly, I was fresh out of Oxford, and third, I was insufferable in my late twenties, as you can attest to, and I'm insufferable now, as you can further attest to, so extrapolation would indicate that, yes, I was insufferable back then.

Martin: Probably a different kind of insufferable, though.

Jon: There are different kinds?

Martin: Of course! You used to be "prick boss" insufferable and now you're "smug in a way that I can't admit I find hot or it will go straight to your head" insufferable.

Jon, in the aforementioned smug tone: Oh, really?

Martin: See, see! Straight to your head.

Jon: Well straight is probably the wrong descriptor-

Martin: Oof, 4 out of 10 joke, babe.

Jon: That would be a far more convincing rating if you weren't grinning right now.

Martin: It's a genuine review, I'm just well known to be a sucker.

Jon: You and me both, darling.

Martin: Okay, if you're pulling out darling, you're clearly in too giddy of a mood to be focused on recording. Last question, from Jess, "You two mentioned meeting at work, but how did you actually end up together?" That's easy, Jon pulled me out of a hell dimension and then we went on the lam together to Scotland.

Jon: If that's not the way to tell a cute boy you like him, I don't know what is.

Martin: All right, that wraps up this bonus episode, and as the old saying goes, hiding from murderers in a cottage is more conducive to romance than suggesting you gouge out your eyes together.

Jon, cut off: Hey-!

#tma #jonmartin #jon sims #martin blackwood #post canon #wonderful! au #my fic

[autisticandroids]

anyway ok so lets talk about ruby SPECIFICALLY in my good s6 au. this ruby concept is almost the same as @lesbiansamwinchester‘s ruby lives au but has some key differences, mainly ruby doesn’t redeem herself in s5. lucifer raises her in sympathy for the devil because she really was the best of those sons of bitches and she deserves it but she spends all of s5 conflicted in her loyalties because while she really DOES want lucifer to win she is also In Love With Sam, Unfortunately, and gets more and more uncomfortable with sam being lucifer’s vessel and shit. and then she finally betrays lucifer in like, two minutes to midnight or swan song and he IMMEDIATELY kills her (very important: lucifer must already be possessing sam when this happens). then she’s brought back like. face down in a ditch 300 miles away. that’s how ruby ends season five.

anyway watch this video to set the mood. ruby stuff in season six:

- so at FIRST she is actually running around with a ragtag group of lucifer loyalist demons led by meg. meg kind of hates her for betraying lucifer for sam but also you know sam’s dead and ruby won’t do it again and most importantly they need EVERY pair of hands on board for this. so ruby is kissing huge amounts of ass mostly meg’s, like, meg is making her wait on her hand and foot in an apron. it’s comically villain homoerotic. you know. like ruby serves meg tea in a maid outfit for no other reason then as like. ridiculous humiliation that’s also intensely, weirdly horny. like the lucifer crowley dog stuff in s11. actually meg literally makes ruby wear a dog collar with a little tag that says like, “ruby. if found, please call 666 and return to owner (meg).” i cannot stress enough that this is just STUPID horny for NO reason. you guys know what i mean. it’s basically sorority hazing but up to eleven because demons, and also forever. also meg makes ruby kiss her hand at least once. or like no she makes her kiss her boot. i am having too much fun i’ve gotten distracted.

- ruby finds out sam is alive and immediately ditches. like she just fucks off to nowhere and they can’t figure out where she went. anyway this samruby reunion takes place like, before the first episode definitely, maybe a few months.

- i do like @lesbiansamwinchester‘s thing where ruby tries very hard to be sam’s moral compass but also imo she fucks up, very bad, and a lot. and soulless sam can’t really catch her at it so they end up doing a lot of very fucked shit actually. but she tries very hard because she cares about sam and she wants him to think well of himself y’know. and she wants to be someone who sam would think was worth following.

- re: that last point. many thoughts. head full.

- when sam and dean finally see each other again ruby is there and dean is like what the FUCK. like he did see that she betrayed lucifer for sam at the last minute but also he hates her and doesn’t trust her, and he actually kind of suspects that whatever’s wrong with sam might actually be HER fault. 

- this post is relevant.

- okay but i’ve decided that the cas/meg kiss DOES in fact happen in this au because i do kind of love it and also more importantly, with the addition of the insane meg being ruby’s shitty ex vibe that i am jamming into this au with both hands, it is just. chefkiss. ruby and dean look at each other in horror while sam is just like huh? i’m sorry but imagine being ruby and being forced to watch your horrible ex get kissed dommily by castiel. god this is funny i love this. again this is all in subtext because we are imagining cw censors and i’ve used up my one allotted gay kiss for the season by having anna make out with a random woman at an orgy to prove that all angels are degenerate pansexual hedonists, you know. (is this homophobic enough for the cw? i hope so!) also: an orgy which balthazar organized and cas refused to attend, to be clear. 

- dean is actually garbage enough about the whole ruby thing that sam and ruby fuck off by themselves for a good while like, maybe three or four episodes, leaving dean alone or sometimes with cas. during this time dean gets a little bit involved with the angel revolutionaries.

- anyway when sam gets his soul back he’s like, torn, between dean and ruby. he feels guilty for how he behaved towards and thought about dean but he would ALSO feel guilty just kicking ruby to the curb.

- HOWEVER when he gets his soulless memories back he does kick her to the curb because she has done some REALLY fucked up shit while trying to be his moral compass like she is BAD at it.

- once ruby is left all alone in the world, guess who shows up in a flutter of wings and ambiguity! it’s anna! 

- she is here to ask ruby if she wants to spy on hell for the angel revolution. ruby accepts because everyone else hates her right now. if anna wants to take her in under cas’ banner (and not tell the winchesters because they’re technically on the same side but what’s a little subterfuge between friends) ruby will take it.

- ruby and anna DO get to have some fun agent runner/agent lesbian subtext, as a treat! at least when anna isn’t busy eating food out of lisa braeden’s fridge like villanelle and other nuts things. 

- like i do wanna be clear anna just. appears in lisa braeden’s kitchen, slowly, wordlessly eats her leftovers while staring her down, and then flies away. this contributes to lisa’s impending mental breakdown. MY season six is about the madness of the suburban housewife, among many other various things.

- also i want to be clear that raphael’s side is actually like, funneling weapons to the lucifer loyalist demons to try and get them to defeat crowley but it’s all very hush hush, like, raphael would NOT want his underlings to know that he has organized this, like, they can barely stand to work with naomi. the fact that raphael had naomi organize help for DEMONS is unthinkable. anyway it’s basically celestial iran-contra.

- ruby is actually one of the last people to stick by cas even when like, anna and balthazar are betraying him, because like. whomst among us has never wanted to become god a little. and also, ruby is weak to authority figures we KNOW this she might be down to accept cas as her heavenly father a little, she’s NOT a rebel. but most importantly she sticks by him because, you know, i love sam and he’s mad at me for kinda betraying him and you [REDACTED] dean and he’s mad at you for kinda betraying him like we’re all winchester derangement syndrome patients here, and also like. i get it. sometimes they don’t know what’s good for them. sometimes in order to love you have to betray a little bit.

- ruby doesn’t turn on cas until he breaks sam’s wall. but by then it’s too late and there’s nothing she can do really.

- the parallel where it was dean who stabbed ruby in lucifer rising and it’s sam who stabs cas in the man who knew too much is actually intentional this time and WAY more aggressive. actually there are tons of cas-ruby parallels. i think meg should call ruby a whore like one episode before crowley calls cas a whore just to hammer it home. i think the thing where soulless sam runs away from dean’s judgement and is running around with ruby while dean is sulking about it but also running around with cas is super aggressively obvious. god i love that ruby’s existence makes it super obvious that cas is dean’s [REDACTED]. that’s so fun. 

- this has been an intensely hypertextual romp and it’s apparently nearly fifteen hundred words, good god. anyway, special thanks to @lesbiansamwinchester, @pietacastiel, and @seragamble, all of whom brainstormed with me

#spn #good s6 au

[rk1kheadcanons]

Markus and Connor are secret dating b/c Connor doesn't wanna be out to the world yet. The Jericrew (-Connor) go drinking and Markus gets *drunk* and starts rambling about his boyf after he rebuffs an advance made by a lady at the bar super sappily, but no matter how hard the others press him, they just get "oh, his eyes are the color of warm chocolate..." answers as to who this boyf is

You would never know Markus was drunk.

He didn’t stutter or slur when he spoke, he didn’t sway or trip over his feet. He didn’t giggle goofily or speak overly loud. He was perfectly composed, as much the charismatic android sober as he was when he was intoxicated.

What he did do, however, was go on long monologues like a Shakespearian stage actor.

Which would be fine, if Markus’ favorite subject to wax poetic about wasn’t his mysterious boyfriend, whom he’d sworn not to reveal the identity of until they were ready. Which would also be fine, if that mysterious boyfriend wasn’t Connor, who was often sitting right next to him (and slowly but surely bluescreening his way into that big Windows XP wallpaper in the sky) as he sang and lathered compliment after compliment, steadily giving away clues that were so blatant that it was a miracle that no one had figured them out yet.

Markus never remembered what he’d done the next day, and whenever Connor mercilessly played back his memories, his poor lover was as embarrassed as he was apologetic. Connor could hardly begrudge him (frankly he didn’t know what sane person on this planet could ever begrudge Markus, but that was just Connor’s correct opinion). What could they even do about it? Should he demand Markus consciously control himself? It wasn’t like Connor was any better at it. Give the RK800 too many AMB’s (Adios Motherboards) and he would be on top of the nearest table and scream-singing his every professionally repressed emotion, regardless if it was a karaoke bar or not. Hence why he never imbibed more than he could handle when they were around their friends. The last thing he wanted to do was sloppily propose to Markus after a long and terrible rendition of K-Ci and JoJo.

And Connor wouldn’t dream of telling Markus to measure the contents of his drink like Connor did. Not when his breaks were so rare, and getting him to relax and let loose was like pulling teeth.

It was just in the cards that their big revelation as a couple would be in a random bar at 3AM, with Markus saying something along the lines of “my boyfriend’s name starts with a C and rhymes with Donner”, and Connor had made peace with that.

“Scarlet woman!” Markus cried, at some random bar at 3AM, surrounded by their drunken comrades. Ah, would this be the night? Connor thought, on the correct side of buzzed as he watched on from the table right next to them, a heady mix of dread and amusement running through his computer soul. “Jezebel! How d a r e you solicit my happily taken hand!”

The waitress, who looked like she regretted serving their table, let alone attempting to get the number from the happily taken hand, raised her hands in surrender. “Sorry, sorry,” she said peaceably and with the calm air of someone who dealt with drunks as a job choice, “just trying to shoot my shot, ya know?”

Markus nodded at her magnanimously, because he was a kind and forgiving man even as a drunken buffoon. “Fret not. I pardon you of this most heinous slight, for if you knew the one to own my heart, you would understand that no other could compare.”

“Sure thing dude,” she said goodnaturedly, packing up and replacing drinks around their tables expertly, and parting with a “have a good night Romeo.”

“But who can no other compare to? WHOMST??” asked North, throwing her torso onto the table and looking up at Markus pleadingly.

“We’ve ruled out Jerry #451, Claudia, Baris from accounting, and Jerry #36,” Simon rattled off. He was looking down at a napkin that he had scribbled the names of all of their potential suspects. “I’ve got it. It’s Baris.”

North rolled her eyes. “We already said it wasn’t Baris.”

“Ohhh. Right, right.” Simon nodded his head and continued to not cross off the names of the people they had decided against, as he had been doing all night.

“How about you describe them a little?” Josh put in, reasonable, and therefore slightly less wasted than everyone else. “Hair color? Height? Eyes? Something?”

“Nay, I must not speak thusly!” Markus declared, back of his hand over his forehead and everything. “For if I were to tread down that forbidden road, I would surely not be able to stop myself from breaking our sacred oath of secrecy!”

“Oh my goOOOOOOOd I hate this fucking oaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaath,” North threw her head back and cried to heavens, which, considering her positon, was probably going to be hell on her neck come morning. “Come on! Break your oath! Be like Thor and wield oathbreaker goddamnit!”

“You might be thinking of Stormbreaker,” Connor added, the need to try and reason with alcoholics apparently embedded in his programming.

North narrowed her eyes at him, or rather his torso, since her chin was very resolutely still resting on the table. “If you think I’m thinking right now then you are drunker than I am.”

Connor lifted his barely touched glass to her in a toast because how dare she be lucid enough to clap back so quickly. A well deserved rebuttal fucking cheers.

“Glasses!” Josh exclaimed, snapping his fingers. “Do they wear glasses? That should narrow down some people.”

“That’s right! That’ll tell us if they’re an android or not. Androids don’t wear glasses! Our eyes are like...fucking...better and shit!”

“Unless….” Simon narrowed his eyes, pausing dramatically. “....they do.”

North gasped. Josh put his hands on either side of face, muttering; “holy fucking shit he’s right.”

Markus scoffed. “Their eyes do not hide behind paltry spectacles! His beautiful orbs, so soft and caring when his gaze lands upon my person, seeing into my very soul, are the warmest chocolate brown!”

‘Ah shit here we go,’ Connor thought, wishing not for the first time that he could just down his drink and join everyone else in blissful, idiotic cavorting. The soft, melodic piano and crooning words of All My Life playing over the speaker stayed his hand. Best not take any chances

“HE!” Simon burst out, tipping over in his chair. “He say he! Them is He!”

“Are we talkin’ Hershey’s or Dove?”

“Ghirardelli you fucking plebs!”

“Oi!” North banged her hand on the table so hard it left a handprint indented in the wood. It was one amongst many however, and not all of them left by their party. Such was the price for serving android drinks at a human bar - you either shelled out for sturdier furniture or the dents and chips became a charming aspect of your décor. “Don’t get spicy with us Sir Lancelot!”

“Apologies fair maiden,” Markus responded easily. He took her hand delicately and made a sweeping bow over it. “Alas, my passions got away from me.” He dropped her hand and whirled around, coat billowing with the movement and most assuredly by accident, placing both hands to his thirium pump. “Conjuring up the magnificent images that is the love of my life oft times sends my emotions into a tizzy! His hair; cloud like in my grasp as I run my fingers threw earthen chestnut tendrils - ”

‘Hhhhhhhhhhhhn so many adjectives Markus whyyyyyyyyyy,’ Connor wheezed internally. He didn’t bother trying to keep down his blush. Markus was nowhere near done laying on the compliments and he’d be subjecting himself to an endless loop of canceling the process. Besides, he could just blame it on the alcohol. Blame it on the a a a a a alcohol - wait no. What!? WHAT. Connor looked down at his drink and saw, to his mounting horror, that the glass was emptier than it had been a few minutes ago. Goddamn his automated rest mode cycle for transforming into fidgeting whenever he was nervous! He resolutely pushed the glass out of his immediate reach.

Nines, who was quietly sitting next to him, hunched over and taking notes on his own napkin, snapped his head up to attention when the glass brushed against his arm. His younger brother was looking from Connor to Markus, eyes narrowed suspiciously as Markus carried on. Connor didn’t like that look at all. It was always a risk inviting Nines to their little outings, the only thing Connor could bank on was Nines passing out - as his dear little bro was a notorious light weight - before his deductive skills could pierce through his drunken haze. Apparently Nines had chosen tonight of all nights, where Markus had never been more obvious about their relationship, to bloody pace himself.

If he could, Connor would be sweating bullets.

“ - a wit SO SHARP!!” Markus declared, foot now planted on his chair and shaking his fist to the ceiling as if it had insulted one of Carl’s paintings, “that neither an UNDEAD HOARD nor a POLITICIAN’S EGO could survive it’s precision strike!!”

“Brown hair, brown eyes, banger body, smarty pants, good at analyzing shit, likes animals” North listed off, holding a hand up and ticking a finger down. “Well that rules out all the Jerrys; they’re all redheads and they’re pretty aggressive about it - except for Jerry #86. Is your man-squeeze Jerry #86?”

“No no no last I heard Jerry #86 is dating Hatsume Miku’s bodyguard; Android Lucy Lawless.” said Simon.

“Tch. Lucky,” pouted North.

“Oh wow, she really kept that name huh?” Josh said, voice faint with wonder and disbelief. “That’s such a mouthful.”

“And who are you to question a Queen!?” snapped North.

“Huzzah and many blessings to the fortuitous couple!” Markus cheered, toasting a stein of frothy blue intoxication that looked as cartoonish as it did poisonous to the sky, knocking it back in several impressive gulps and slamming it back on the table. “BUT NEITHER OF THEM CAN COMPARE TO THE BEAUTY AND GRACE THAT IS MY LOVE!!” he boomed, louder and more British by the second. “WHO’S CURIOSITY AND INTELLECT A CHERISHED BOON TO I, BUT A WEAPON OF MASS DESTRUCTION TO HIS ENEMIES - !”

North slapped her hand on the table several times, the proverbial light bulb lighting up in her eyes - oh. No not proverbial. There was currently little lightbulb emojis pictured in her pupils. Yet another drunken download added to the bill. Connor was glad he’d drawn the long straw on ‘irresponsible buying duty’ tonight. No doubt there would be a lot of strange receipts to sort through in the morning. “Oh! I know I know! It’s Josh!”

So startled by this declaration/accusation, Josh jumped in his seat. “What!?”

“Brown hair, brown eyes, hot, obnoxious, smart - everything FITS!”

“...he didn’t say obnoxious,” Josh muttered, then physically shook sanity back into himself. “It can’t be me. I think I’d know if I was dating Markus!”

Simon leaned in closer towards Josh, arm on the table, determination in his mien. “But what if…” Without breaking eye contact with his friend, he smoothly cracked open his Thirium berry blast bahama mama banana punch wine cooler, and proceeded to pour it just two centimeters off from his glass, all over the table. “You don’t know.”

Josh was shook in the face of this evidence. North narrowed her eyes so hard that they were just closed at this point. “Highly suspicious.”

“No. Nooooo. No? No! Of course I’m not. Right Markus?”

Markus steepled his fingers together and cackled in a way that most people would find concerning, but Connor just found it adorable. He would saving that in his memory banks. “I’ll never tell~,” he sing songed.

“H i g h l y s u s p i c i o u s.”

“I know who it is,” Nines suddenly said, calm but with such confidence that he was easily heard amidst the ruckus. He had his elbows planted on the table, chin resting upon his entwined fingers. Steele grey eyes swept over the now quiet group, everyone waiting with baited breath.

“Grant us your wisdom ‘o soothsayer,” Markus whispered, eyes wide with anticipation and literally perched on the edge of his seat. Connor seriously measured the pros and cons of just throwing his portion of the tab on the table and yeeting himself out of the window.

“It’s Sixty.”

Immediately the room erupted into scoffs and hisses of disbelief. North gave him a thumbs down and cupped her hand to her mouth, letting a long, “Booooo!”

“Why are you booing me I’m right!”

“BoooOOooOOOOOoooooo!” Markus, Josh and Simon joined in.

Connor blinked, and suddenly felt all of his concerns about Nines’ being the lynch pin in solving this mystery evaporate. If Markus transformed into a C grade Shakespeare impersonator when drunk, and Connor subconsciously wanted to be recruited by America’s Got Talent, then Nines became a consummate dumbass.

“That’s it!” North exploded. “Ten dollars says it’s Jerry #92! I caught him in a wig once!” She stood up, her chair sliding back from the force, and slammed a note on the table.

Simon also stood up with equal intensity. “Twenty says it’s Josh!” He reached into his pocket and slammed its contents onto the table. When he removed his hand six lego pieces, a My Little Pony leg, and two actual diamonds were revealed. Connor hoped dearly that the bartender cut Simon off soon.

“It’s not me!” Josh said exasperated. He paused, then pointedly pulled out some money and threw it in the pot as well. “I put forty on Brenden.”

“Bull! Shit!” North declared. “Fitness guru Brenden!? No way!”

“He fits the criteria.”

“I doubt ‘How To Tell If An Android Has Welded on Parts from China vs Russia in their Selfies’ videos on his YouTube channel is the kind analysis Markus was talking about.”

“You don’t know that! He didn’t specify...”

As the two continued to argue, with Simon chiming in with some non sequitur, and Nines tutting about these ‘ignorant fools and their blindness to the evidence presented’, Connor looked over to Markus. He was quiet. He had his elbow perched precariously on the edge of the table, his cheek resting on his fist, a small hat (that was not there literally two minutes ago) was on his head, folded from one of the bar napkins.

And he was looking at Connor as if he hung the moon and stars.

‘How could the world not already know,’ Connor thought, soft and warm inside, happy merely to be in his line of sight, ‘When he looks at me like that?’

Connor picked up his glass and lifted it. “One hundred dollars on Sixty.”

Chaos erupted. Nines threw his arms up and hooted like he’d won the super bowl. Josh tried to explain to him how that was mathematically impossible. North shook her head and warned him that he would live on the streets with an answer like that. Simon pulled out a Yu-Gi-Oh! Card and said he would give him this Charizard if he agreed with him that Josh was Markus’ secret boyfriend. Connor withheld himself from trying to convince drunk people that this was not how betting worked.

Maybe Connor shouldn’t worry so much about their relationship being discovered after all. At this rate, no one would know about he and Markus being together until the wedding invites.

#Detroit Become Human #Markus #Connor #Markus x Connor #RK1K #emiliaf25🌻 #emiliaf25 ask reply #North #Simon #Josh #RK900 #Markus: I bet 200 on Connor! #Simon: Pssh no way #Josh: Markus please don't waste you're money on throw away bets #North: Why don't you just bet on John Cena while you're at it #Nines: If Markus wants to give away money then let him #Connor: >:C #Connor: why do I hang out with you people...

[raguna-blade]

So I kinda need to talk about this because I saw a post and my brain exploded for a moment.

This is probably extremely dumb but I have to write this down.

So ok, for real for real, if we take a step back from fun and games for a moment from this fun game (hyuk) I think we can all admit that when it comes to shipping in game, and especially with regards to shipping with the Doctor, there’s basically precious little canon text for a good number of them. Tomimi and Gaviel? Oh yeah for sure, textually supported! Doctor and Kal’tsit? It’s very easy to read if only because they’re both being parents to Amiya to the best of their ability, but their precise relationship to each other actually a bit more questionable on the ship front. Platinum and Blemishine? They literally have not met and neither has, to my knowledge, expressed a type to even indicate they’d even be remotely attracted to each other on the romance front, or even get along with each other on the friend front.

But with the Doctor especially it’s all a huge amount of suggestion and impression because the doctor is (technically, technically because we get to make choices of their dialogue but they’re pretty consistently sassy and a bit of a dork, but they don’t get their own lines) a silent protagonist. Only a few characters have anything resembling actual explicit interest in the doctor, of them being Deepcolor(Switch is Flipped), Warfarin (Restraining order) and that’s about it as far as I recall.

OK, but you lead with a TnA Whislash pic where you going with this?

RIGHT, So most characters in their E2 artworks are generally more cool than hot/sexy*. The game is really really really restrained with the horny, even in the swimsuit outfits characters may have.

So we come to Miss Whislash’s picture here which is like...Ok damn, you’re just going all out I get it cool. But otherwise, aside from this singular pic dealie, there’s like no Doctor Attraction vibes being thrown out.

But...

But then like...there’s a couple of pieces of evidence which make you go...Huh.

Talk 1: Doctor. Just to put any scary little misunderstandings to rest, let me say this now. Maria might call me her aunt, but that’s only because I’m higher in the family. I’m not much older than her. I’m still young. I’m still not married. Clear?

Like Alright you’re going to just put that out there but nobody was asking whislash. Nobody was even saying anything about your age, and from what we know of Canon!Doc’s personality there’s no way in hell they brought up the marriage or age angle unless they were personally trying to get a rise out of you and there’s no way that the Doc would even consider that until this very conversation occurred.

Promotion 1: Doctor, can I borrow you? I just want you to help me carry some things. If you’re asking, well... er, just... all sorts of random things I buy when the mood strikes me. 

Which is pretty innocuous, just hey man I wanna hang out with you haha don’t worry about it.

Trust 3: Doctor, we don’t get along half bad, but you don’t just lie there and leave it all up to me, not in your wildest dreams. I hate danger plenty, but layabouts leave another bad taste in my mouth. Though, when your back’s against the wall... *cough* Well, we can talk about it then! 

Also completely innocuous* right up until that last line which makes me suddenly look at it and realize uh...Wait, why did you kinda drift off there Miss. What went through your head just now. WHOMSTS Back is against the wall here.

All of which when taken with her basically going, Hey lemme just give you a no limit credit card, which has been memed to death with her trying to sugar momma the doctor is yeah pretty damn sus.

But then I again come back to this picture and rememeber that like...These are kinda in universe you know. While i’m going to severely cast doubt on her going on all fours in 50% cheesecake mode** you also have folks like Earthspirit who kinda reference the weird ghost shit that elite operators are apparently capable of summoning stand like (which maybe it’s just image sure, but also maybe not? They kinda stand out and ONLY the elite get them so it’s like...HMMMMM) so this half makes me think that they’re absolutely a thing in universe for...I dunno, morale reasons? Memories? Someone thought it’d be funny and it’s a joke gone too far***

And if that is the case!

Taking into account that Whislash also very much knows image bullshit, and all that especially what with having to fund her run in the KNIGHT SPORTS LEAGUE.

I’m coming down on is miss Whislash trying to seduce the Doctor. Like...Legitimately.

Like is she legit trying to seduce. Am I overthinking this?

And If so, what the hell is the doctors vibe exactly in the day to day I have to know what these people see in this guy who may have GENUINELY tried to eat originum slugs at one point, and has DEFINITELY just straight poured boiling water into their mouth to make tea.****

#Arknights #Whislash #*Your Mileage may Vary #**Because it's still clothed and otherwise very tasteful #***I swear if we find out that they are actually tangible things in universe like collect an operator trading card #***And that probably the doctor started back pre amnesia pre monster days #***I will laugh harder than I have in a long time #****This may be self explanatory actually I feel dumb for even bringing it up that's deffo take home material i'm blind #I now wish to see the continued adventures of the Doctor Completely missing these increasingly obvious signs because they just don't read #As like oolala stuff #And Also Whislash getting absolutely roasted by Nearl and Blemishine #Perhaps Especially Nearl who at this point probably knows the doctor best of the Nearls and has seen enough to know that oh no my Aunts #Taste in [Gender] is T R A S H

[five-rivers]

Imagine some villain with an age-regression fic who hits (pre-Kamino) Toshi with his quirk, expecting him to turn four or five but is instead faced with a tween/teen with attitude who has defended himself enough against bullies (or has already trained to receive ofa) to be more than a match for someone who usually fights preschoolers.

Toshinori wasn’t sure how he had gotten here, or, heck, what he was wearing for that matter, because man, he was swimming in it, but he knew a fight when he saw one, and the guy with the knife was aiming right at him.  He sidestepped easily.  He might not be able to afford club fees, but his spying on the martial arts club after school wasn’t for show.  

His post-curfew extracurriculars might have helped, too.  At least in the ‘not panicking when attacked with a knife’ and ‘ducking a blow from behind from an opponent you didn’t know was there’ categories.  

Wow.  That guy had a scary-looking quirk.  

Instantly, he scolded himself.  It wasn’t very heroic to think of someone’s quirk as scary, even if he was a quirkless teenage vigilante and the person in question was trying to kill him with his giant green chainsaw hands and spiky metalic face. 

Mostly the hands, though. 

“I thought you said he’d be young!”

“He is young!” said the other one.  “Younger, anyway.  It’s still an advantage.  Take it!”

Toshinori braced himself to dodge.  The baggy... whatever he was currently wearing was not going to be helpful in this endeavor, but the alternative was death, so...

He rolled across the uneven ground to pop up between the two villains.  Both checked their attacks for Toshinori to pull his arm out of the oversized... jumpsuit?  It might have been a jumpsuit... and grab a rock to fling at the smaller one.  

It connected with the man’s forehead and knocked him to the ground.  Toshinori had always been pleased with his hand-eye coordination.  

The chainsaw man was a problem.  

It was as he sized up chainsaw man and looked for escape routes that he saw the spectators.

... What?  Spectators?

What were all those people doing here, watching a middle schooler get assaulted by two villains?  It wasn’t safe!  Shouldn’t they be running away?

Oh, heck, there were kids in that crowd.  

Toshinori narrowly avoided dismemberment by chainsaw.  

With the surrounding crowd, simply fleeing was not an option.  Toshinori did not know why he was being attacked, so the man might switch targets at any time if Toshinori made himself too difficult to get to.  

He couldn’t block a chainsaw.  Not without a super-specialized armor suit.  

Comparing relative physiques, the chainsaw man was a few inches taller and much, much more muscular than Toshinori.  Not to mention the natural armor and the freaking chainsaws.  Direct hand to hand combat did not favor Toshinori.  

Were the chainsaws not part of the man’s body, he might have tried to trigger the emergency stop.  But they were.  

He dodged again, and the man’s chainsaw hands cleanly severed the street sign behind him.  Oh, that could be useful-  Or could it?  He didn’t know how heavy street signs were.  He might not be able to pick it up and going for it would make him vulnerable.  But it would be long enough to get past-

He tripped.  

Frick.  

He was going to die.  The most annoying part?  He didn’t know why.  

An incredibly loud noise ripped through Toshinori’s ears.  He felt more than heard the chainsaw man hit the ground.  He rolled over and scrambled to his feet, just in time to see a banana kick the chainsaw man in the face.  

Well, not actually a banana.  Just someone with very banana-like hair.  A new hero?  Had to be, with the way the spectators were cheering.  

The hero cuffed the chainsaw man carefully, with a pair of adaptable cuffs (a new model!) and then turned to Toshinori with a strained smile.

“Hey, there, kiddo.  What got you wrapped up in all of this?”

“Beats me, sir,” said Toshinori.  

“No idea why you’re wearing All Might’s jumpsuit, either?”

“Whomst?”

The hero blinked.  “Yeah, okay, listener, let’s get you off to the side here.  We can wait until the police show up, yeah?”

“Yeah.  Do you think I’ll have to tell my foster parents?  Or if I can get my uniform back?  I’ve only got the one.”

“You can put together a compensation request.  The victims of villainy fund.  what did you say your name was?”

“Uh, Yagi Toshinori, sir.  Is this your debut?  Or are you from another city?  I’ve never heard of you before, which is weird because your quirk is cool.  It was the sound, right?  How did you do that?”

The hero muttered something that sounded like ‘green,’ but treated Toshinori to a broad smile.  “Not quite my debut, listener!  But, yeah, my name is Present Mic!  I’ve just, uh, gotta put a call in to my boss.”

“Oh, sure.  But do I have to stay?  Only, I think I’m probably missing school.”

“You absolutely have to stay,” said Present Mic, opening his phone.  “Do not leave.”

“Sure?”

“You’re probably under the effects of a quirk.  Don’t panic.”  Whoever was on the other side of the line apparently picked up.  “Nezu, we have a problem.”

Huh.  Nezu.  Like the principal of UA?  Was Present Mic a teacher?

This day kept getting weirder and weirder.  

#bnha #ask #answer #prompt fill #prompt #boku no hero academia

[akindofmagictoo]

manuscript search tag game

I got my hands on an open tag from @sleepyowlwrites. my hands are not sticky. I washed them. 

my words are imperfect, immediate, imitate, imagine, impossible (imbecile, imminent) 

imperfect 

immediate (Dragonsong) (SB and impulse control aren’t good friends. also... covid safety whomst) 

Holly wrapped a dry coat—her own, Isi suspected—around Sierra, and followed it with her arms. Sierra grinned all the wider. “I think the food might be a bit cold,” she said, her voice a little muffled in Holly’s embrace. “Sorry ‘bout that.” 

“I can help,” said Robin, rubbing his hands together. “Isi, can you get some bowls?” 

Isi and SB ladled soup into bowls. When each was filled, Robin took it in both hands. A few seconds later he set it down. SB stuck a finger curiously in one, and immediately pulled it back with a yelp. “That’s hot alright.” 

“That was the aim,” Robin agreed, warming the last bowl. After a second, the deadpan sarcasm gave way to a pleased twinkle in his eye. 

imitate mimic (Hurricane) (things I have not taken advantage of in this scene: Aella thinking Theo’s accent is cute, because she probably does) (tw romance? i guess? they’re kinda just chatting) 

“How’d you get the idea to do what you did? Back in Newhaven?” Aella perched on the edge of Theo’s hammock, making it rock. She tried—and failed—to mimic his voice. “‘I’m not with them. They robbed me…’” It turned into an awful caricature of an English accent, so she stopped. 

He smiled, unbothered. “I read it in a book.” 

“Pirate book?” 

“Yes, but I didn’t know if it would work in real life.” 

“Well, it did. It was really clever.” 

He ducked his head, but it didn’t hide the fact that his ears were turning pink. “Thanks. Not everything I’ve read is so accurate, though.” 

imagine (Hurricane) 

The vicious crunch carried clearly over the silent water. The other ship’s hull had split. Aella’s sailor’s heart broke at the sight, and she put a hand to her mouth. Theo glanced down at her. 

“Alternatively,” she continued, trying to keep her horror from her voice, “that might happen. And even though they’re trying to kill us… it hurts.” 

The crew was screaming now, running in all directions as they tried to find something to stop the gap. But, even from here, Aella knew it would be futile. This wasn’t a breach made by a cannon or ram. The crack was long, and lengthening even as she watched. Water rushed greedily through the hole, finding its way into the ship’s lower decks. In a few minutes, the hull might split entirely. She turned away. 

“Can’t watch?” said Theo. 

“No. I mean, I’m glad they won’t catch us, but… bloody hell.” Bile rose at the back of her throat. She couldn’t help but imagine: what if it had been the Firebird? 

impossible (Dragonsong) (tw blood, dead body. and no i won’t tell you who it is) 

She edged towards the gap, one hand on what remained of the wall, and dared to peer over. When her eyes fell on him, she knew at once what had happened. What she’d done. His arms and legs splayed in impossible directions. Blood was splattered across the cobblestoned courtyard, pooled under his dark hair. 

Bile rose in her throat. She staggered back from the edge, her sword dropping from her hand. 

bonus impossible (Hurricane) (Theo whenever he’s around Aella is all heart eyes, apparently) (tw romance) 

“Noted.” He shuddered and gestured towards her face. “What about the one on your eyebrow? Sword fight?” 

“Looks like it, doesn’t it?” Usually, she liked to let people think that; they tended to look at her with admiration. But Theo already looked at her that way, like she could do the impossible. “Actually, I fell out of the rigging when I was seven. Hit my head on the way down.” 

I shall tag @ashen-crest @diphthongsfordays and anyone else who wishes to play! your words are write, wrong, wring, wrist 

#tag game #manuscript search tag #wip dragonsong #dragonsong excerpt #wip hurricane #hurricane excerpt

[coweggomelet]

i apparently enjoy putting down my thoughts on the off chance someone will read it and enjoy it so here’s rwby rewatch vol 3. i’m ready to be sad!!

(note: it’s long i’m sorry, i have many thoughts and i tried to narrow it down but oh boy do i think im funny)

- the SOUND DESIGN. AGAIN

- ruby you’re so precious. so sweet. so eager. so earnest. c’mere and i’ll protect you from all the bad shit that happens to you later

- hi cardboard cutout tai

- i keep getting an ad for a rooster teeth show called camp betrayal and the way this man says “hoo hoo hoo” will haunt me for the rest of time

- oh shit the fact that it’s called amity has such insane implications for what it’s used for later. jesus.

- “bffs!” “No.” “…/yessss/” love them

- yeet the yang

- god ruby’s admiration of emerald is so sad in retrospect like… oh boy ruby you’re in for it

- PYRRHAAAAA I LOVE YOU DONT LEAVE ME

- “even if you know how a story ends, that doesn’t make it any less fun to watch” wow cinder are you psychic

- ummmm they’re having a talk can you please respect their privacy

- thor whomst??? i only know nora valkyrie

- BROODY MAN

- hiiiii gavin

- so much mid battle banter. in the middle of a big important fight they just have to make jokes and argue. i love teenagers

- SILENCE YOU BOOB

- awww winter you’re a disaster and you’re horribly emotionally repressed because of your bitch ass dad but jesus christ you care about your little sister and you wanna know she’s doing okay and i’m emotional about it

- PENNYYYYY my love just keep being you

- jeez i forgot how early on ironwood was talking his shit about being “someone who will act”, the “only person” who will do what needs to be done, as if his course of action is what needs to be done

- every single person who underestimates emerald and mercury gets so fucked up. like so many people look at these youngerish teenagers with some funny one liners and banter and go “oh they seem capable and they’re confident and funny so i like em but i can take em” and then absolutely get the shit kicked out of them. and i think that’s why they’ve been so successful, cause nobody takes them seriously enough to consider them a threat.

- see this is why i love rwby. coco just turned her handbag into a gatling gun and cut down a field of grass with it

- god the way they hint at emerald’s semblance before fully showing what it is. *chef’s kiss*

- winter marry me

- we love an uncle who absolutely destroys his nieces at video games

- “they do and they’re called silver!” ruby i love you

- top heavy. heheh

- this dude’s weapon is a trumpet!! she’s got glowing nunchucks!! i love this show!!

- this battle music is AMAZING what the FUCK they’re fighting to JAZZ

- cinder if you keep having vague ominous dialogue people are gonna get the wrong idea

- oh yeah great idea asking a child to take on immense power which sends her into a stressed out panicky spiral and alienates her from the people she finally feels legitimately connected to and for once didn’t feel alienated from

- oh fuck. oh fuck the finals. oh god. oh no.

- she’s so happy. she’s so ready to have a good fight. i’m gonna cry

- FUCK

- and with one moment, the entire show flipped on its head

- god when i watched that the first time i fuckin freaked. i was not prepared man. i was warned. but i was not prepared for this much of a fucking tone change man. that quickly. like tone changes (in my experience) normally happen gradually, but this one happened in, what? 30 seconds?

- fuck

- god this is so bad

- and it GETS WORSE i can’t do this

- love that we can see yang’s distraught eyebrows through her bangs

- after this episode was the first time my friend asked me “how we doing buddy?” and i’ve only wanted to kill her more since then

- oh god emerald’s backstory. this poor child. she was so alone and cinder was there and said i can give you a place i can give you a purpose i can give you security and emerald latched on so hard.

- hiiiii laura bailey i wish you had more than a lil baby line and some sounds of effort

- god that little anklet

- god what a fuckin backstory episode man. backstory? evil plan explanation? idk but it was good

- great parent move. telling your kid you’ll only save them once.

- jaune you sweet good boy. what a good boy. i love him

- god this poor child. she doesn’t deserve this. FUCK i’m so sad. is that the last conversation they have?

- oooooh shit this song is so good. what the fuck i have chills it’s so fitting

- god everyone else is so happy and excited and then there’s ruby who is one of the very few people who knows how bad a fight between penny and pyrrha could be and pyrrha who’s got to decide if she wants someone else’s aura smushed with hers, which could turn her into a different person. FUCK

- peeeennyyyyy “salutations!! it’s an honor to meet you!” it huuuurts

- it makes me so sad but damn was this a good diabolical plan

- god im so sad. penny is so good. and pyrrha’s fuckin eyes. and ruby just collapsing. jesus christ. it’s all fuckin falling apart

- oh fuck here we go. those klaxons are so terrifying

- it makes me so happy that torchwick gets rescued and then like maybe a couple episodes later just gets swallowed

- the fuckin adam fight is coming up too. jesus. really piling on here

- RUBY IS USING ONE OF PENNY’S SWORDS IM GONNA CRYYY

- and she doesn’t even hesitate to save pyrrha

- the one and only time (to my memory) that ironwood is gentle is when he says no one would blame the students if they left. that might be the last time he actually remembers that they’re all teenagers and feels sympathy for these children with all this pressure on them

- oh yeah the big boy

- the first time i watched this i was LOSING MY MIND this whole time. like yang attacked mercury and from then on man. just freaking out.

- eurgh grimm juice

- c’mon blake you got this. i mean. technically you don’t. the fight goes poorly. but you fuckin try and you’re so brave about it and i love youuu

- shut the FUCK up adam you GROOMED her you ASSHOLE

- aahhhh i love velvet!!! her semblance and her whole fighting style is so goddamn cool and has such interesting implications for using weapons and powers of people who are dead

- OH SHIT SHE DOES SUMMON HERE DOESNT SHE. partly but still

- get fucked, torchwick. GET FUCKED. get fuckin chomped

- a backhanded slap feels so much more violent than any fighting with weapons

- uh oh evil katniss

- god. the fucking blood splatter turning the whole shot red. just their silhouettes. the slow motion. the arm slowly separating.

- my friend was also a big fan of “how we feeling?”

- bad. the answer is bad you fuckin sadist

- oz is… a lot of things, and one of them is a goddamn good fighter

- oh god oh noooo she’s gonna kiss & yeet AWWWW FUCK this is heartbreaking

- pyrrha i love you

- if i don’t look it’s not real

- oh pyrrha my love

- awww hey tai. what a good dad. love tai

- i’m so sad. everyone’s so sad. and then salem just has to do an ominous lil monologue where she lays out her whole plan to divide them and makes a fuckin semblance pun. she’s such a good villain

- jacque you stiff bitch

- they’re all fuckin scattered and depressed

- love team rnjr tho

- there she is. god what an ending

#rwby #rwby spoilers #ruby rose #blake belladona #yang xiao long #weiss schnee #pyrrha nikos #penny polendina #james ironwood #emerald sustrai #cinder fall #i can't tag all the characters cause that's a lot #im in pain #so sad #and it only gets worse #yaaaaaayyy #long post

[nellie-elizabeth]

The Walking Dead: No Other Way (11x09)

I'm going to sound like a broken record here but I don't really caaarrrre. I mean, we're here in the final season, and there are so many pieces on the board, so much chaos, and so few characters I feel a real connection to. Let's talk about it.

Cons:

I've said this from the minute she came back, but I just don't find Maggie to be a very compelling character anymore. I think it's mostly that she went off and formed all of these bonds with people we don't know at all, and her motivation is now about protecting and/or avenging those people, and I don't feel an investment. Also, I find Negan to be more charismatic and interesting to watch that Maggie any day of the week, but I find it laughable that the show wants me to consider the relationship between these two characters as complicated or ambiguous. Negan murdered Maggie's husband in cold blood, while he was defenseless and on his knees, in front of all his loved ones, and he fucking enjoyed himself. There's no getting over that, and I wish the show would stop jerking us around on that.

At the end of the episode, we see that Negan is leaving because he knows Maggie will never forgive him and might one day decide to kill him after all. Smart move, Negan. We obviously haven't seen the last of him, though, which kind of makes me exhausted just thinking about it. He's like a cockroach.

And as I said, who even are these people that Maggie came back with? The guy who wants vengeance for his sister, the other people they've lost along the way... this whole episode, I was forgetting that Maggie's friends had a specific vendetta against the Reapers. This is all stuff that happened off-screen with characters I don't know. So therefore I don't care.

Alden gets a full on death scene and sobbing and a burial from Maggie and meanwhile I'm just like "whomst the fuck are you, really?" I mean, I remember, he's the guy from the Saviors who defected, but I don't really have an investment in Maggie and Alden's past relationship. This show has been on for too many years. I've stopped giving a fuck. Rest in peace Alden, I guess. I hardly knew ya.

Pros:

While ultimately my investment with this show is at an all time low, I will admit that this episode in specific had a good bit of momentum to it, and some moments where I did feel my interest engaged.

Of all the characters in this show I expected to get a bad-ass glow-up, Gabriel was pretty low on the list. While ultimately the Reapers are not a compelling villain to me, and I don't feel the tension of Daryl and Leah's relationship or any of that, I will admit that I enjoyed the Gabriel content in this episode. First, he and another "man of God" have a little confab about God's plan and their role in it, and then Gabriel fucking calls the man's bluff and guts him. It was intense. Then later, when Leah and Maggie are having their standoff, Leah is ordering her sniper to kill Maggie and the others, and we suddenly learn that Gabriel has dealt with the sniper and has control of the gun. I loved Negan's reaction to Gabriel being a bad-ass; their... well, I don't know if I'd call it "friendship", but whatever it is, I find it kind of funny.

We also have the clearest sign yet of Daryl's differing philosophy, where Maggie is set on killing the Reapers in revenge, and Daryl wants to create a world where violence between living people is no longer the norm. Daryl's right, of course: after everything else they all have to survive, what on earth is the point of continuing to fight? He seems to have nobody on his side a this point. Maggie and Gabriel are both pretty firmly on that "kill or be killed" train, and Leah was totally going to betray them and murder them all, so...

So now the absolutely uninteresting threat of the Reapers seems to be squashed, with just Leah left alive as a dangling thread for the future.

Back in Alexandria, we've got the kids in serious danger, stuck in a house with a flooding basement and a zombie hoard. I will say the one moment of this episode where my heart did beat a little faster was Aaron going in through the window to save those kiddos... I found myself anxious about Aaron's fate. He's not the most interesting character in the world, but I do have some care for him and I didn't want him to die! I figured the kids were safe as soon as Aaron showed up, but his fate was much less clear - having to fight off the walkers in the water and then cling to the pipe above them was really scary and intense!

Really, though, the part of this episode that made me sit up and pay attention was the very ending, when we get a big ol' reunion, all of our core characters back in the same place, for the most part. Obviously I am weak for Daryl hugging Carol, I love that even at times when their relationship might be the slightest bit rocky, the relief of being back with one another breaks through. We also see Daryl hugging Lydia, which I love to see, they make for such a good unconventional family.

And of course the reunion with Connie! I know there is a lot of ~~discourse~~ in the fandom about shipping Daryl with Carol or with Connie, and while I firmly believe that Carol and Daryl have a beautiful love story for the ages, I was also incredibly touched by Daryl's reaction to seeing Carol! He drops the barrel of apples he was holding and rushes to her, pulling her in for a hug. We don't necessarily get to see Daryl smiling very often, and this was a lovely moment of happiness. Will they go anywhere with that, romantically? That remains to be seen... the vibes for me were very much in the realm of friendship, but I suppose time will tell.

And just when I thought the episode would end at this point, with the return of Maggie, Daryl, and Gabriel to their friends in Alexandria, we get even one more step of a reunion, with the return of Eugene! (And, ostensibly, the others who went with him, though we haven't seen them yet).

They arrive with a contingent from the Commonwealth, and they're here to help, apparently. Honestly, I was thrilled by this development, because The Walking Dead has the absolutely agonizing problem of dragging things on way too long. I was bracing myself for another three or four episodes with Eugene, Ezekiel, Yumiko, and Princess stuck with the Commonwealth before we might finally get another convergence of our full cast. But instead, here they are. Whether for good or ill (we'll get answers there in a second), it's a refreshing shot in the arm to keep moving the pieces around on the board.

And then of course we get a flash forward by six months, and we see that Daryl is with the Commonwealth, leading some sort of attack on Alexandria, with Maggie in charge there. This... could be interesting, or could be stupid, it really depends! I'm definitely ready to see how it goes, and open to being intrigued. My first questions are of course who else is on which side. Are Eugene and the others who brought the Commonwealth there still with the Commonwealth, or are they with the Alexandrians? What's the conflict about, and whose side will I be on, morally speaking, when I finally hear? What about other Alexandrians? Do we have any other defectors? So yeah, this certainly opens up a big ol' question for the future of the season, and while my complaints about this show hold true, I can still find some things to care about just a little. For a while longer, anyway.

8/10

#review #the walking dead #the walking dead review #twd #walking dead #walking dead review