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rebeccahpedersen · 6 years

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Closing Day Etiquette

TorontoRealtyBlog

I went to the beach with my wife, mother, and 19-month-old daughter on Saturday, and it was great!

I managed to close a condo sale, and write this blog post in my head, as my family wished that I knew how to relax and partake in some semblance of normalcy.

Today I want to talk about what you should do when you sell your house or condo, and lock the door for the very last time.

And how come there’s sand everywhere in my condo? I barely left the beach blanket, how come sand manages to stay with you for a week?!?!

Last week, I wrote a blog post called “Open House Etiquette,” where I laid out ten scenes that take place in an open house, and whether or not they’re offside. Most, as you might assume, I concluded were offside.

Most of the readers concluded that the etiquette lessons I was providing were simply a lesson in common sense.

I can’t say I disagree.

So today, I figured I’d go back to the well, and provide a “To Do” list for when you are closing on your house or condo, and once again, much of this is common sense.

Now before I start, I’d like to go off on a not-so-closely-tied rant about common sense, since that is the topic of the day.

It’s about common sense………….and soccer.

The World Cup is now upon us, and while I think I might have ranted about this four years ago, it bothers me so much, that I’m going to do it again.

Soccer is a beautiful game, with the most passionate and engaged fans on the planet. It truly is the only “global” sport, and the game reaches every single country on the planet.

However, despite all this, I simply can’t respect the sport, or understand how people continue to turn a blind eye to the fact that flopping around on the ground and pretending to be hurt is an accepted part of the game.

Where’s the common sense in that?

Common sense would dictate that with the advances in technology over the past 10-20 years, it’s no longer reasonable for a player to embellish, or straight-up fall over for no reason to try to show the referee that he was hurt.

I played soccer competitively until I was 18-years-old. I was actually pretty good, and a better soccer player than I was a hockey player, which is rare for a Canadian kid. Growing up, our game was very different from the professional game, as I learned when I first watched the World Cup in 1994. I had never seen “diving” before, and watching the game with my uncles – who can remember being led into the school gymnasium in 1972 with the rest of the student body to watch Game 8 of the Summit Series, was eye-opening. With every flop, drop, and roll of the players, my uncles went nuts, yelling at the TV, throwing their hands up in the air, and just being absolutely disgusted with the antics.

24 years later, nothing has changed in the game.

On Monday, I watched about 15 minutes of Brazil versus Mexico, and that is the last soccer I will ever watched.

This “Neymar” fellow, who apparently is a great player (but hardly a role-model or ambassador for the sport, as I’ll explain) was already laying on the ground, clutching his head from all angles, as though he just got a magic bullet through the back of the neck, when a Mexican player, who had enough of Neymar’s nonsense, came over and grabbed the ball from Neymar, touching his foot to Neymar’s ankle in the process.

Neymar then began to roll around like a worm being burned with a lighter.

He was screaming in fake-pain, clutching every part of both of his legs.

And everybody just stood around and watched.

Why isn’t that a red card? Why isn’t that an ejection?

Until a referee has the guts to kick somebody out of the game for that, nothing will ever change.

NHL hockey players put themselves through an all-out war every spring, and when their team is eliminated, we hear about who had a broken wrist and played through it, who had a separated shoulder, and on, and on, and on.

Football players routinely play through real pain, and leave everything out on the field.

Basketball, which isn’t thought of as a “physical sport,” has 7-foot-tall, 280-pound men throwing the full weight of their bodies up in the air, to meet the full weight of another man’s body.

And here we have soccer players, who think it’s “part of the game” to fall over and play dead.

I think it’s shameful, and the only thing worse are the soccer apologists who say not only is it “part of the game,” but that “a player who can fake at the right time and draw a call is a skilled player.”

Ugh. Nonsense.

Imagine if Roger Federer pretended to fall down and sprain his ankle every time Rafael Nadal hit the ball past him?

What if Michael Phelps fake-drowned in the swimming pool to get the race stopped when he was trailing?

WHY IS DIVING PART OF SOCCER?

It lacks common sense.

End. Rant.

~Fin.

Okay, so you’re closing on the house or condo that you just sold, and you’re getting ready for the final days or even hours in the property.

What should you do? What’s the “right thing” to do?

What makes you a Mensch?

Well, let me sum it up for you – it costs ten bucks.

Ten bucks, and you can call yourself a good guy or gal.

Let me explain through the first two points, and then go on a few points more…

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1) Have the property professionally cleaned.

This is a no-brainer, and yet maybe only 40% of sellers clean the property before they leave.

It’s common sense, and dare I say – common decency.

You’re probably asking, “But wait a minute, you just said it costs ten bucks to be a property-selling Mensch! Cleaning a condo costs a hundred bucks!”

True.

But in most cases, you’re moving somewhere, right? And that somewhere is a place you would also like to have cleaned?

This is a classic case of “do unto others,” as spending $80 to clean your condo before you move out, will come back to you in kind when the seller of the house you’re moving into spends $80 to clean that puppy too.

Even if you’re not moving into a new property, like, let’s say you’ve sold your house to move into a tent, it’s still just the right thing to do.

A client of mine closed on a century-old cottage in Cabbagetown, which he and his wife truly ‘cherished’ even before they closed and took possession. When they got the keys, they were shocked the condition in which the house was left. There was garbage on the floors throughout the home, a disgusting fridge, carpets clearly not vacuumed, rotting trash under the front porch, piles of sand in the laundry room, and storage items left behind, ie. some random shelving unit they didn’t throw away.

What was even more disappointing to my client was that the owner of this property owned 4-5 adjacent properties as well, and had owned the block for thirty years. This wasn’t some one-off closing where an overseas seller forgot, or didn’t care enough, to have the property cleaned before closing. This was somebody who still has a horse in the race, or a foot in the door, as an owner of multiple properties in this row of homes. My clients were almost more upset that the owner didn’t respect the house – a unique, timeless, vintage, and historical property.

In the end, unless there’s a clause in your Agreement of Purchase & Sale instructing you to do so, you’re under no obligation to have the property cleaned.

But I don’t think that’s an excuse for decency.

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2) Leave hand-written note, and a bottle of booze.

Here’s where you see the ten bucks at work.

If you spend $85 to have your property cleaned before you move out, and the property you move into has clearly been cleaned for a similar amount of money, then spending $10 on a bottle of booze, and leaving it on the counter with a hand-written note, is how I come up with my ten-dollar figure.

You don’t have to buy Dom Perignon. Just grab a bottle of Yellow Tail Shiraz if need be. Buy the cheap 2018 stuff. Or the 2019 if it’s available!

It’s not so much the taste or quality of the wine, which will likely be re-gifted, but rather the gesture.

A hand-written note, that takes 3-minutes to produce, goes a long, long way, in the eyes and hearts of new buyers.

I recognize that this doesn’t apply to everybody, but if you’ve been living in a house for a few years, I’m sure you respect the property. It’s your home, and now it’s going to be somebody else’s. Ignoring investment-properties, and/or hands-off owners, surely handing the keys over to a new owner has to mean something to you, no?

Clean the property – your home, and leave a cheap bottle of wine, and a few nice words on a piece of paper.

Dear Jenny & Stephen, We hope you love living here as much as we have for the last five years! We’re so sad to be leaving, but knowing that we sold to really good people who will cherish the home as we have, makes it so much easier! All the best in your new home, have a drink and celebrate! Jake & Samantha

It’s not rocket-science, folks!

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3) Ask if they want the paint cans, case of hardwood flooring, and box of tile.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been on the receiving end of this email:

Hey David! We’re in the house, everything is great so far! Quick question – can you ask the seller if they remember the paint colour in the living room? We’re trying to match that colour through the kitchen and down the hall. Thanks!

Was it “Inner Peach,” or “Apricot Beige?”

Twilight Dreams, Arizona Canyon, Mountain Hideway, Warm Cognac, or Baked Clay?

The possibilities are endless. And we all know that even though we learned to split the atom eighty years ago, we will never be able to “colour match” to the exact specifications of an existing paint colour. To try, is simply to fail.

So just as “common sense” helped us with points #1 and #2, you can see how asking, “What would I want, if I were in their position?” helps with a lot of the other points on our list.

If you have paint cans from 9 months ago when you did a fresh coat of the basement rec-room and upstairs bedroom, ask the buyer if they want them left behind.

I say, “ask the buyer,” because for the first thirteen years of my career, I always told sellers to leave them. And then in early 2017, I actually had a sale not close because of a paint can, and a box of tile. No joke.

My clients had renovated their home shortly before putting it on the market, and I told them the could leave the three paint cans and box of leftover hardwood flooring (I also frequently get asked, “Can you find out what type and style of hardwood was used on the main floor? We put a huge gauge in the wood moving in our sofa, and we want to replace the one board!”) upstairs in the unfinished attic of the house.

The buyers went nuts.

They refused to close until “proof that the leftover garbage had been removed” was provided to the buyer’s lawyer.

The deal closed a day late, and I was shocked.

Live and learn, I guess. This was the only time I had ever seen a buyer have a problem with this, but that will teach me, moving forward.

For the rest of you, think about how this is helpful to you. Have you ever had to replace the flooring in an entire room, because you didn’t know what type of existing flooring was there, and you only needed like three replacement boards?

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4) Leave the appliance manuals behind.

If you have them, leave them.

And strangely, most people have them.

I know for a fact that up above my microwave, next to the vent, there are appliance manuals for all the appliances in my condo. They were up there when I moved in, and seven years later, there they remain.

I don’t know why I wouldn’t throw them out, but I guess I don’t know why I would either.

And for some odd reason, buyers love manuals! I get asked about them all the time, just like paint colours, and types of hardwood flooring.

The most common need for a manual is with respect to warranty, although you could probably just Google the make and model too.

Manuals for electronics, or even assembly instructions can come in handy too for new buyers.

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5) Don’t play God with the lockbox and key.

Raise your hand if you wanted to visit, or “inspect” the property you purchased in the days leading up the closing, and your real estate agent told you that you can’t, because there’s no key?

This happens a lot.

And while I’d say it’s the agent’s fault a large percentage of the time (ie. either because they want to remove their precious lockbox, or they don’t advise the seller to keep a key on site), it’s also the seller’s fault for not realizing the buyer is entitled to a visit right up until closing.

We often get in these back-and-forth’s with the lawyers, where the buyer is insisting on a visit, the seller says, “I’ve already handed the keys over to my lawyer,” and then the listing agent, seller, and seller’s lawyer all offer, “If you want to do the inspection, fine, but you’ll come pick up the key at the lawyer’s office.”

And rarely, if ever, does a buyer do that.

It’s very, very simple, folks: leave a key in a lockbox right up until the day of closing. In actual fact, this can help facilitate a smoother closing. Once upon a time, the buyer would get the keys from the buyer’s lawyer, via the seller’s lawyer, via the seller. Nowadays, why not just leave the keys in the house, leave one unit or door key in the lockbox, and release the code upon closing?

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6) Forward your mail.

Some of you are thinking, “Who doesn’t do this?”

But I assure you, the answer is, “Many.”

How many times do you think I get this email:

“Hi David, can you kindly ask the new owners to keep our mail aside, and we’ll come pick it up at some point this weekend?”

I have no problem helping my seller-clients; that’s not the issue here. The issue is that I don’t have the contact information for the buyers. I’d have to go through their buyer-agent, and you can see how one more step makes failure or confusion more likely.

I recently sold a house to buyers, and I got this email from the listing agent:

“Hi David, my clients have ordered something from Amazon.ca to the house and they’d like to come pick it up. They won’t be in the city until the weekend, so we’re hoping your clients can take it inside and keep it for them until then? Thanks!”

So first of all, why didn’t they update their address on Amazon.ca?

But more importantly, why wouldn’t they think this is an imposition?

I know I’m talked about being a Mensch, and “doing unto others” in the sections above, but this is something different. This is asking others to make up for your laziness, because you didn’t call Canada post and have your mail forwarded.

Time and time again, I find myself facilitating the collection and delivery of mail for buyers and sellers alike.

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7) Cancel the alarm system, and/or other contracts and services.

This cuts both ways.

The nice thing to do, as with the paint cans, is to ask the buyer if they’d like to take over your alarm system monitoring, so that they can save whatever setup fee might exist.

Having said that, the seller should cancel all services and contracts associated with the house.

I had a client close on a house and receive a landscaping bill.

The sellers had moved out 6 weeks before the deal closed, but didn’t tell the landscaping company, who continued to mow the lawn. When the new owners moved in, the landscaping company continued to mow the lawn, and eventually sent them a bill – with the balance owing.

Now there are a few problems here, and questions as well.

Is it the responsibility of the sellers to pay for lawn care when they’ve moved out? Maybe, but probably not. It would be nice for them to keep up the maintenance of their asset right up until closing, and not simply let the grass go brown. But either way, if they do have the landscaper show up for work, they’re supposed to pay for it; not just dump it on the new owner.

Secondly, if the landscaping company continues to mow the lawn, after closing, are the new buyers on the hook? Legally, no. Practically, yes.

The sellers should have thought of this, just as any seller should think about the alarm system, or cable and internet, and ensure that they’ve notified Toronto Water, Hydro, Enbridge Gas, et al about the change in ownership.

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Geez, this thing got really long, really fast.

Maybe my epic soccer rant had something to do with that…

The name of the game today, once again, is “common sense.”

All seven of these points relate back to some level of common sense, and yet the issues arising therein are, themselves, extremely common.

Just as the saying goes: “The simplest answer is usually correct,” I might also add that “The most common problems arise from the least-important issues.”

I feel like having to tell somebody to pay $80 to clean their $750,000 condo before closing is a wasted breath, but as you read above, it usually isn’t…

The post Closing Day Etiquette appeared first on Toronto Real Estate Property Sales & Investments | Toronto Realty Blog by David Fleming.

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catotheyoungest · 7 years

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Being an Introvert and How to Make Their Life a Nightmare

yeah I’ve been quiet for almost a year and I break it with a rant lol

There’s a lot going on in my life I can’t freaking deal with but the newest development of unfortunate things in the pile of disaster that is my life is something that has moved so far past being offensive or anger-inducing that it’s entered the realm of completely baffling because you must have been raised on an alien planet to act like this.

First things first, I am an introvert. By now you’ve probably seen a bunch of videos and articles and infographics about what this is and how to deal with someone who’s introverted, I’m just going to sum all that up for time.

Hi, I’m an introvert. I enjoy space and time to myself. Sometimes it’s for long periods of time and sometimes it’s not. My quietness does not mean I’m mad at you or annoyed by you, my reluctance for contact does not mean I’m rude, I’m not inherently shy, I don’t hate being around people. All it means is that I’m an inward looking person, I spend a lot of time in my own head and I enjoy it. I like to take time to think and observe when presented with new situations but I’m always paying attention, even if I never say anything you are always in my thoughts. Spending time with people requires a lot of energy from me and I need to remove myself from social life to replenish it. I still care about you and I will resurface when I’m ready. Do not give up on including me in your life and don’t assume other people not constantly interacting with you has anything or everything to do with you.

Now here is how you take an introvert and make their home life suck.

I’ve had to deal with a new, very sudden living situation, and I thought I could handle it, but it’s been very rough and I wish I’d had other options I could have chosen. But all of that is completely unrelated to the people I’m living with. One is my best friend since I was 14, she’s known me for like 12 years, she knows my personality and how I work and doesn’t question my need for space or silence. She and I mesh well because of this understanding. Her boyfriend however baffles me. One of the first conversations I had in this house, like these exact words left my mouth with the household in the room “I’m an introvert. Sometimes I like being alone for a long time and I’m not big on touching”

One of them got it, guess what happened with the other.

There wasn’t really a problem until after Christmas and New Year’s. I don’t really have a door I can lock as my room is the basement and the laundry is down here and really the only thing blocking off my bed area is my bookshelves, so there’s already a lack of privacy that sets me on edge a little when people are here. But I was left alone and I thought “cool my space will be respected.” Until I started waking up to being hugged? Or just touched in general. Like I’ve never met a person that’s just super platonically cuddly by nature to the point where they think it’s ok to just do it to whoever. Or just randomly coming to me at my desk while I’m doing stuff to just go “Hey I’m bored.” and then just sit their like I’m expected to transform into an entertainer. And constantly ask to “show them art stuff” or what am I doing/reading/talking to/why can’t I see the photos on your phone/why won’t you show me your art files

Like DUDE. Even if I wasn’t private by nature that’s still pretty rude. I’m not here as a source of entertainment. My space is not just open season because I don’t have a door to shut.

Eventually I got a little grumpy because I was constantly being touched and cuddled especially in my BED where I’m SLEEPING? Like seriously? My family never even touched me past a hug and then I move somewhere else and suddenly cuddles and hugs and “playful” boob grabs that might be fun and fine to the rest of our mixed circle of friends but not to me, become a constant thing. And I never snapped, never yelled, never made a confrontation. On top of being introverted I’m a very anxious person, I stay out of the way and avoid conflict, when I have problems with people it’s usually because they came up to me and started making an ass of themselves or said something to me that was offensive. But god forbid I get slightly visibly annoyed after months of having no personal space because then I get constant texts about him martyring himself. “Oh I’m so stupid” “I’ll just fuck off” and “I’m sorry” said about a million times.

Like ok, great you want to apologize, but you’re making it all about you. Once you say I’m sorry and I say it’s cool, drop it. And then even my own personal business is apparently free for everyone to just take charge of. There was an incident one Friday night where I got a text along the lines of “hey I’m bored I’m going to help you find a video game design job” First of all, loving the fact that my personal life is something to entertain yourself hen I’m bored, second of all, boy do you even know where to look? Because this is someone who started off the conversation with “graphic design is the same thing right?” yeah right like I’m going to trust you to know how to navigate your way around an industry you know nothing about. Like I’m flattered by the want to help, seriously, that’s really touching that you care, that was just approached completely the wrong way and this is something I would rather take care of on my own or get help from friends who are more familiar with the subject. I even offered the compromise of, if you found someone who wants like a mural painted or see someone needing a person to illustrate a book or a poster or wants a portrait or something, please tell me, that would be just as helpful. But he just kept pushing and insisting and coming off like he knew better than me about my own turf.

Not to mention this nonsense happened RIGHT after I had gotten a bundle of rejection letters for jobs I’d applied to and it hit me really hard, because I’ve been trying for years and failing at nearly everything I’ve set out to do. To the point where I’m completely lost on how to proceed with my life or what I want out of life anymore. And that night just getting another dead end just hit me a little harder than usual. And I’m not expecting people to be mind readers, but just coming in and taking charge and implying I’m lazy or not trying by assuming everything about me without much thought is just...ugh. I was mad. That and I know it was a joke but I swear to god “lol you could apply to Hooters” did not help.

Like I’m utterly baffled because I have never in my life had to explain to someone, hey don’t touch my boobs, hey my boobs aren’t part of my personality, hey don’t manhandle me in my own bed just because you want me to wake up, hey don’t stick your nose in my personal business when I didn’t ask for help.

And I’m even more confused because there’s no malicious intent, there’s no ulterior motive, it’s just platonic ignorance and my personality and existing conditions have no clue how to deal with a person like this. I’ve had a ton of guy friends in the past and even male roommates before and not once ever has anyone of them crossed the line. I had lots of female roommates cross every possible line ever though, but back then I also had like 10 hours of school a day and they would usually fuck off until 4 in the morning so after a bit I never saw them.

And I’ve said that I need space, I’ve said I’m not really comfortable being touched, I’ve asked nicely to back off, and today I even had to hold his hand and walk him through what being an introvert is, again, and he still is missing some key points.

There is nothing wrong with me. I’m not broken, I do not need to be fixed. It took me a long time growing up to accept this part of myself and that it was ok, and to grow into it and learn to be mindful and learn how to make and keep friendships without compromising what makes me feel happy and safe. I only have a few close friends but they’re deeper and more fulfilling relationships to me than I’d get if I had many friends. And when I’m in my own head I may not be very open, but if I’m given the space and time when I do open up I’m amazingly adventurous and eager to explore and have fun and I’m funny and love telling stories, I have things to say and like my voice to be respected. It can just take me awhile to ant to speak, because I don’t like to unless I have something to say. And this is fine. This is who I am and it’s great. I’m my own unique person just like everyone else on this planet isn’t the same as any other.

I’m definitely not perfect and I know that not everyone is going to be either. I just wish I didn’t have to work so hard to make someone understand me when I’ve never had this problem with other people before. Up until this point nothing like this has been an issue, people understood my boundaries without me having to give them a presentation on how some people are different than you.

If you know someone that’s introverted, just give them their space, that’s all I ask. Try to understand that they’re different and listen to their needs. If it really bothers you talk to them and CLEARLY explain how you feel, we’re not aloof or cold, we’re willing to compromise and find solutions that can accommodate all parties. And if you’re an introvert, be prepared for some people to just not get it. There’s going to be people who can’t read body language or take a hint even if you explain yourself. All you can do is politely talk to them and hope it works out. If it doesn’t then maybe they aren’t worth your time, just focus on keeping the peace or find a better place to move yourself to if possible.

Introverted or not, all any of us can do is our best and you’re not going to be able to coexist with everyone and that’s fine, it doesn’t make you any less of a person.

Sorry this is such a downer of a post I just...life’s been really difficult and something like this shouldn’t really be a problem but someone is insisting that it should be and I don’t need this right now and I needed to write down my thoughts. |D

#fun fact I went through 19 roommates in college #because I lived in a 6 person dorm room for most of it and people just liked to play hot potato with housing arrangement #I only ever had to get rid of a small handful of them #because they stole my food #were the kind of obnoxious where theey'd get up at 6 am and put on high heels and clonk around the kitchen singing as loud as possible #or they did crack off of my stuff :D #maybe one day I'll have a living situation that's not batshit crazy

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