#i know im sorry

[winchester-reload]

Day 1: Liminal

Doing this thing (but the catch-up version)

Also, hey check out the emo tiktok I used this piece for

#destiel #dean winchester #castiel #suptober23 #my art #i know im sorry

[eeriesteine]

#sketch #glasses #disco elysium #disco elysium fanart #kim kitsuragi #kim #possible #i know im sorry #not sorry

[anawrites3]

When men say "I love her" but Odysseus said "She's my everything, my Penelope, and she's all my power"

#how he's so desperate to get back home to her #that he decides to beg #he's the Odysseus the king of Ithaca #and he's on his knees to beg for mercy so he can go back to his wife and his son #i love them so much im not well about this #i know im sorry #but this part gets me everytime #and now it's in my head again #and the 'so I beg you Circe grand us mercy and let us puppets leave' as well #it should start paying rent at this point smh #odysseus #epic the musical #there are other ways

[numinousmysteries]

Power

This is what came into my brain when I saw @mulderscreek's You Still Have a Son Who Needs You challenge. I apologize in advance.

@today-in-fic

[on Ao3]

Teena did not love Carl. He was not her husband. He had his own wife (the bubbly Cassandra who she could not stand) and, she was sure of it, other lovers. However, from the first time they met, she felt inextricably drawn to him.

She was in the backyard of one of Bill’s colleagues, sitting in a cluster with the other wives. Their gossip bored her so she didn’t mind when Bill called her away to meet his newest coworker. When she shook his hand, a shiver ran through her. It felt thrilling. His danger intrigued her.

The Spenders rented a home nearby in Quonochontaug for the summer. They came over for dinner and Cassandra brought a truly repulsive casserole that no one touched. The next day, Teena scraped the gloppy remnants into the trash, washed the glass dish, and drove over to their rental home to return it. She parked down the block and waited until Cassandra left the house, a beach towel and umbrella in tow. Only then did she knock on the door.

Teena typically wasn’t a bold woman. But she needed to see Carl again, alone. He must’ve felt the same because once she deposited the casserole dish on the coffee table, his arms were around her and his tongue at her neck. It was the first of their encounters. Rare, stolen moments when they were free of their spouses.

It was a magnetic pull that went beyond the physical. Even when they were together, their naked bodies pressed close without an atom of space dividing them, she still yearned to go deeper. She wanted to reach into his mind and discover the secrets behind that impenetrable gaze.

They’d been reckless. Once after a dinner party at her home, she was washing dishes in the kitchen. All the guests had gone home except for Carl who stayed to talk shop in the den with Bill. He must’ve excused himself because suddenly she heard him approach her from behind. Silently he covered her mouth with his left hand, used his right to lift up her skirt and enter her. She was terrified Bill would find them, but she didn’t tell him to stop. Bill had been so distracted with work that it’d been weeks since they’d made love. She bit down on his fingers and relished feeling his fullness as her hip bones jammed against the lip of the counter. Nine months later, her son was born.

Teena’s mother had told her that, because she was a woman with no real influence in the world, the smartest thing she could do was attach herself to a powerful man. For her mother, a German Jew, doing so meant the difference between life and death. At first, she thought Bill was a powerful man. He had an elevated position within the state department and traveled in esteemed circles. But Bill was not built to handle authority. It ate away at him and made him small. In contrast, Carl embodied power. It cloaked him like the cloud of cigarette smoke he always left in his wake. She found him irresistible.

She also despised him with a loathing that was equal in intensity with her passion. She realized she hated him the first time he came to visit her newborn son. While other friends of her husband were content with tipping their hat in the baby’s general direction before retreating to the sofa for a congratulatory Scotch with Bill, Carl confidently lifted her child from her arms as if the baby was his own, which, she didn’t want to admit, it very well could have been.

“Look at those eyes,” Carl said, smiling. “You can tell he’s clever. Like a fox. That’s what you should’ve called him.”

Bill, also in thrall to his confident friend, was smitten with the name. She begged him not to, but he made a phone call to an associate in the social security administration and William Mulder Jr. became Fox William Mulder.

She swore she would never be with Carl again, but she broke that vow less than a year later when he came to her one vulnerable night. Bill was away on business. She was delirious from lack of sleep. Fox’s colicky screams echoed in her head. Carl took advantage of her desperation. She told herself it was the last time. It was a promise she made and broke dozens of times over the years.

One summer he asked her to make a choice between her children. Bill was outraged. It was the first time she ever heard him raise his voice at Carl. After Bill stormed out of the house and slammed the door behind him, Carl explained the necessity of the project to her. He said Bill wasn’t thinking rationally. This man has no soul, she thought. To spite Carl, she chose Fox, the boy whose name and eyes always reminded her of him. To show her it was never her choice to begin with, he overruled her.

Bill was out of town, months after Samanthat’s disappearance, when Carl had the audacity to return to her home. He brought her a document that he’d signed calling off the search for Samantha.

“I wanted you to have closure.” He slid the form to her across the kitchen counter and lit a cigarette.

“This isn’t closure. It’s a farce. There was no search because she was never meant to be found.”

She tried to keep her voice down since Fox was in his bedroom. She heard him lightly tossing a baseball in the air, each catch a muffled thwap in his gloved hand. These were the sounds of her home after Samantha’s disappearance. Her son’s idle movements and her husband’s teeth crunching sunflower seeds in his office. Both pounded relentlessly like a tell-tale heart in her ears and the only thing that quieted them was a double dose of Valium swallowed dry.

“Teena.” He brought a hand to her cheek. His fingers felt like icicles against her skin and she pulled away. The touch that once made her swell with desire now made her recoil.

“You need to leave,” she said. “You need to leave here and never come back.”

He took a sweeping glance around the kitchen. Through his eyes, she saw the disarray her house had fallen into. There were dishes piled in the sink, dust on the window blinds that hadn’t been opened in weeks, and a faint odor emanated from the trash can.

“You should get a girl to come and clean,” he replied, ignoring her. “You always kept such a fine home.”

“Get out,” she growled through clenched teeth.

He brought the cigarette to his thin lips then exhaled in her direction. “What’s the rush? Bill won’t be back for a few days, and Fox won’t notice.”

“Don’t talk about my son.”

“The son you were willing to give away? You don’t seem to be paying him much mind now.”

That pushed her to the edge. The pills she took earlier in the day dulled her emotions but her anger broke through. She slapped his face and steeled her eyes to hide the sharp stinging in her palm.

“I’ll come back,” he said with that cagey grin. “Perhaps you’ll be more receptive next time.”

He turned away from her and left the stench of burnt tobacco as a reminder of his presence.

Yet again, she told herself there would be no next time. This man had torn apart her family. But the years were long. She divorced her husband. Her son retreated further and further within himself until he finally fled across the ocean to get away from her. And when Carl came again, she did not resist. Because she was weak and he was power.

#txf #xfiles #the x files #xf fanfic #x files fanfic #csm/teena mulder #i know im sorry #no one wants to think about csm and mulder's mom banging but alas sometimes we must #canon says so #and i do like cassandra but you have to imagine teena does not

[mothytheghost]

I wanna make fanart for the new episode but I got things I gotta do.

I need to finish TPOH because I'm on Chiaroscuro

And I got a comic to work on.

I apologize but I might end up working on it tomorrow

#i know im sorry #im busy and wanna take breaks

[bethhiraeth]

Here's a fun question

Would you rather have Mileven be endgame or have Will die?

#i know im sorry #but byler is endgame #byler #will byers #mike wheeler #el hopper #stranger things

[the-kk-crow]

Nightmare multiverse swaps... Nightmare multiverse swaps... Nightmare multiverse swaps... 

I could explain but. u know what. here

#AUBS #Undertale Multiverse #Dream Sans #Killer Sans #Nightmare Sans #quo's art #quo's doodles #GUYS I found stuff that's a couple months old #I'm not drawing new things STILL #I KNOW IM SORRY #but it's new content to all of you #so GOOD FOR YOU #Evil Timeline #Main Timeline

[princessfbi]

But why don't you like him 😭

Honestly? I was never truly invested in him even when he was introduced. He annoyed the crap out of me in season four especially with the whole Veronica thing. But the real kicker was the complete lack of boundaries he had regarding Chimney and their dad. That's just such a shitty thing to do and then to constantly guilt Chimney? No thank you. At least his step mother had the decency to be direct with Chimney and try to explain his dad's POV. Still not great but better than to guilt someone for being rightfully upset and wanting boundaries around a toxic parental figure.

I would be fine if we had some more substance with his character but all we really got was a young guy who didn't really know what he wanted to do with his life obsessed with women.

#anon #royal decree #writing talk #i know im sorry #I know people love him but I just cantttt

[emmyrosee]

HI EMMY!!

ik how much you love kita and i was listening to my music and was like "omg i have my kita playlist from like two years ago n the only person who listens to it besides me is my boo boo bear... WHAT IF I SHARE THIS W EMMY??"

i hope you give it a listen if you have time :P (the genres are all different kinds lol but most of it is indie i believe?)

SCREAMING KICKING CRYING THROWING UP

a few days late bc im trying to figure out spotify smh bUT I GOT THERE AND IM SO EXCITED 😭😭😭😭

#im an apple music girlie #i know im sorry #i know no peace

[bonivers]

surely it hasn’t been that long since i texted people back (i texted them back in MAY)

#i KNOW im SORRY #there’s no excuse really #the longer it gets im like but how can i even JUSTIFY this #allana rants

[lonely-night]

me to myself: girl you're making content for some really old femslash pairings lower your expectation jeez

#rambling tag #i know im sorry #maybe im just burnt out #or low on dopamine or serotonin or smth idk

[urfictional]

okay but do you ever have this fucking thing that just pisses you off when writing stuff, like-

I can sit in front of my laptop, fully motivated to write something, nothing is bothering me, I have all the time that I need and I JUST CANT FCKING WRITE ANYTHING. like. my mind is just *nothing*

AND THEN it can be midnight, 2am, 3am n shit and Im lying in bed and suddenly my mind is just like fcking shakespeare on sugar rush creatingcountless of scenarios, ideas and what not, and whenever I get up and open the notes app on my phone to write something down my mind is just *blank* error 404 you ain't gonna find shit here

I mean

sometimes i think there is something inside me that just enjoys making fun of me. let me tell you one thing - THIS AINT FUNNY. go away bitch, leave me alone

anyone else?

#- sam is rambling again #i know im sorry #why am i like this

[professionalchaoticdumbass]

he transitioned, it's hatsune mike now

#alright enough about mikuo please its like every other reblog im sorry i dont know the secret hatsune miku lore

[the-gayest-sky-kid]

god i love my friends. shout out to people who love their friends. this is a post for friend lovers

#sorry i thought too hard about everything and got weirdly emotional like hgoly shit #i talk to people here every day and we know stuff about each other and shit and we exchange ideas and waaa #we're like all basically penpals but better #im realizing how revolutionary this is. like had we all been born earlier we never would have met #and even if we did we'd have to talk through letters with weeks if not months in between responses #can you imagine that #every day instead i literally wake up and my friends are there #insane #i love having friends

[amygdalae]

Me in 2018: I can't thirst post that's embarrassing

Me now: I know he nuts loud and abundant

#if any of the ppl i know irl are reading this im so fuckign sorry please ignore this

[pbnmj]

THE NOIR-HOBIE INTERACTIONS THAT I MADE UP IN MY MIND ARE VERY REAL TO ME. SONY PLEASE PICK UP WHAT I’M PUTTING DOWN!!!

#atsv spoilers #atsv #across the spiderverse #across the spider-verse #left the theatre knowing my gf is coming back immediately ofc had to draw this . #written hobie's dialogue here as though someone might incidentally forget he's british. LOL #sorray brits i will never be good at ur slang. i think bruv is a liiiittle old but he also said mandem so whatever #wanker/geezer is rly not used anymore but im sorry . i refuse to keep looking up british slang. its too hard #hobie brown #peter parker #spider-man noir #spider-punk #spiderman noir #spider punk #itsv #spiderman #into the spiderverse #my art