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#i know it isn’t what Chim needs but i am speaking for ME
lovecolibri · 2 years
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SaL anon here friend, like you enjoying the unique feeling of reading episode synopsis that give a feeling of anticipation instead of making me cringe. But I promised a song, and after some wrestling with it (there are a lot of good Buck ones for this week) I think I've settled on Bad Blood (though I'd love to know your pick!). Between the idea of bad blood and being broken from the start, to Buck always thinking/asking why he's not enough, to his talk with Bobby I think it's a good if sad fit.
Oooooh, good choice my friend! We talked about this one once before for Malex, and I think it’s going to be sooo good to talk about it for Buck! My idea was You Are Enough because it would work for both Hen and Buck, but actually this is so much better because Buck isn’t to the “happy acceptance” stage yet, he’s still a little lost in the darkness of NOT being enough. (It’s no coincidence Bad Blood is on the Darkness EP)
This feels like a father/son type of song but that works I think for Buck and Bobby as their relationship is so familial, but also because Buck struggles with his own family legacy. Oooooh, I’m so excited to talk about this one! 
you fixed your eyes on us, your flesh and blood, a sculpture of water and unsettled dust.
when there was bad blood in us, we learned our lesson: genesis to the last generation.
Okay right away I am HIT with the Daniel of it all, because Leukemia is a cancer involving blood cells! He literally had “bad blood”, and then they had Buck basically for parts, but the treatments didn’t fully take, leaving Buck now that he knows with an additional understanding of why he was never enough for his parents! Buck can’t seem to escape what he was born to be with his parents which was a savior baby who failed at the one task he was given.
But I’m also thinking of this in the context of Bobby and Buck’s relationship and how “a sculpture of water and unsettled dust” speaks to the potential Bobby has seen in Buck from the start! He knows what Buck can do, he sees the hard work Buck puts in, but it’s still fluid and unsettled, unfinished because Buck still has more to learn.
so we wrestle with it all- the concept of grace and the faithful concrete as it breaks our fall.
our questions are all the same. identical words; how they feel brand new against different time frames. identical words against different time frames.
Oof, oof, oof. This always gets me because we often think of “grace” as a good thing! Offering grace is giving someone something they don’t necessarily deserve, but paring it with the line about concrete braking a fall just makes me think of Buck offering that grace of forgiveness to his parents and giving them a second chance but we haven’t seen or heard that they’re actually trying to be better, and even in the scene with them after the warehouse fire, they’re not particularly receptive. He also gives Tay Kay multiple chances, he gives Abby the benefit of the doubt for so long and accepts the lack of apology she gives him. Buck is constantly offering grace to others, only to be met with nothing but concrete to break his fall. 
We are also seeing some of the same questions hovering around Buck. This gifset is just a gut punch of Buck trying so hard to prove what he has and being worried his parents/Bobby won’t see it. And we see how hard he takes what he perceives to be a rejection (RSD for the win 🙃), and how he interprets words spoken now in the framework of how his parents spoke them, even if that’s not how they are meant to be interpreted! Which is why Eddie and Chim stepping in to defuse the tension, Bobby affirming that he sees Buck and knows that he’s working hard even if he’s not ready yet, and Eddie knowing how to let Buck get his worries out and then gently teasing him to pull him out of the spiral is what Buck needs (vs being told that he’s just imagining things because he’s being self-centered).
we know it all by heart- the whole is greater than the sum of its parts.
we’ve heard it all before- in beauty there echoes a speck of our source. in beauty there echoes a speck of our source.
Okay this chorus is one of my favorites and it’s SO good for Buck, especially now that we know his origin story and being had for spare parts. Because Maddie was always there to remind Buck that he as a whole person had worth and value, and now he has the firefam and especially Eddie to remind him that he is not expendable. That he is greater than just the parts he can offer up to save others, because his whole self is important and loved. I love the undertones here of the “speck of our source” being something outside ourselves, our parents, and outside humanity even!
like firewood, burning bright in the dead of winter, by only a flicker we cling to this life.
so we huddle over maps; is it faith or prediction, will or tradition until we collapse? we argue our bearings until we collapse.
“by only a flicker we cling to this life” is such a powerful line! And so good for a show that often has to rescue people and occasionally members of the crew from the brink of death. They are in a job where they are constantly reminded of the fragility of life, but at the same time it becomes something they get a little desensitized to because it’s a daily occurrence, until something happens that really shakes them and I’m soooo excited to see the episode tomorrow because it looks like Buck at the very least is going to be shaken, and with 6x04 coming up and the Chim in the car/Buck on the bike of it all, I think we’re going to get some re-evaluating of their lives which I can’t wait to see!
This episode we also see Buck struggling with his career trajectory, and personal life trajectory, and he’s going to be having to look at those questions of faith/prediction, will/tradition in both his professional and personal life and I foresee that collapse coming for him as he battles between what he thinks he should want based on tradition (a new girlfriend couch) and what he actually wants (the Diaz family couch), and the greater responsibility he wants at work vs what he’s ready to take on which I think we’ll see more of next week if that’s when he looses someone on a call and how he’s going to handle that.
we study our story arcs- inherently good, or were we broken right from the start?
There is an excellent gifset of this that always hits me in my Buck feels because that’s something he definitely struggles with. We see Buck, the second Bobby mentions picking someone else to cover for him, looking back over his time with the 118 and trying to figure out where he went so wrong that Bobby would rather trust their family to a stranger (and right after another stranger nearly took two of their family from them forever) than trust their family to him. I love that Bobby comes to him and lets him know it’s not that he did anything wrong and he’s being punished by not being chosen, but that he’s just not ready yet, he’s still growing! And Bobby isn’t going to throw him under the bus or set him up to fail because he wants Buck to succeed and believes he will. Buck has spent so long feeling broken and convinced it’s always been that way because it’s a problem with who he fundamentally is that he doesn’t always see how inherently good he is, and that being good doesn’t always mean being ready and perfect for everything right away. 
our hesitant fingerprints trace every mountain, lace every valley until we’re convinced…
that we know it all by heart- every blade of grass bears our mark.
in the name of being brave, though it’s just another word for being afraid.
As I said in our post about Malex, the map imagery here is so interesting as a description of tracing personal/family history. Buck is looking back trying to find where he went wrong to not get the promotion at work/make his dad captain not trust him, and where he went wrong to not be able to keep a girlfriend/couch. I do think Buck needs to be single for a bit to figure out what exactly he wants out of his own life, so he’ll know what he wants in a partner to share in that life (which he’s already doing! Good god man, open your eyeeeees! You have a partner/family/couch already!!) but we know that his searching for self goes a bit awry. I’m just thinking of him taking that armchair for one and putting it where the couch goes (which, can we talk about how HOT that was?! 🥵🥵🥵) which at the time seems like he’s being brave and embracing being alone for now, but whooo boy is it a cover for his fear that he’s NEVER going to find anyone because he’s always been broken and never the right fit. I am just SO excited to see his arc this season and how it’s going to intertwine with Bobby’s arc especially.
we know it all by heart- the whole is so much greater than the sum of these parts. we’ve heard the truth before, for in beauty there echoes a speck of our source. in beauty there echoes a speck of our source. in beauty there echoes a speck of our source.
I’m excited to see Buck working towards accepting himself as a whole person and not just the bits and pieces as he “upgrades” himself. He needs to find the value in all the versions he was before and how each of those parts of his past help make him who he is today! It’s something Eddie and Maddie and the firefam keep trying to tell him, and he might be able to parrot the words back but he needs to fully embrace them, and while it won’t be smooth sailing, I hope we get to see him on that journey this season. I know I mentioned earlier about the “speck of our source” being something outside of ourselves and humanity. a bit of the divine, but I’m also thinking about how we as people are made up of little bits of the people in our lives. Buck may have bits of his parents still inside, but he’s also made up of all the love Maddie poured into him as a kid, by the love and strength and support of the firefam, and by the bone-deep acceptance and love for all of him he gets from Eddie and Chris. I’m hoping we get to see him leaning on that foundation this season as he struggles within himself in a way he couldn’t in season 3. I always find it so weird that some people in the fandom want to bury the lawsuit arc because I find it SO rich and telling about so many characters! Both Buck and Bobby panicked and made poor choices and instead of talking about them, they just grabbed their shovels and dug a little deeper, and Eddie was already drowning. I think it’s going to be so interesting to see a post therapy Eddie and Buck and how they tackle things now, and a Bobby who is teetering on the brink of a breakdown but surrounded by more love, support, and understanding than ever before. This season is going to be a DOOZY, I can just feel it!
Thanks for such a rich choice this week! This song is such a good one and it was good to talk about it again! Fingers crossed this season is a little less messy and we can keep up with the good conversations happening on screen because the potential for this season to deliver some excellent character work for ALL our mains is soooo high right now! Thanks as always for coming to flail with me about this show!
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matan4il · 3 years
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Buddie 405 meta
This ep was The Buckley Siblings Begin tied in to being Buck Begins and I very much love it. That’s about as much as I can say about Buck and/or the sibling relationship, because like last week, there are things that hit too close to home and I’ve been crying way too much since the ep aired. But even as an older sister, I had to say I loved this! And I loved that where Buck’s parents couldn’t see beyond their pain and looked right through him, Maddie kept every postcard and image of Buck on his journey to find himself. She saw it all and she retained it all and it all mattered. Excuse me, I am a puddle of feels.
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Overall, I think out of all of the ‘Begins’ eps, Buck’s resembled Eddie’s the most in terms of structure. Both eps start with something that the protagonist needs to learn tied in to his present story by and large, then we have a crisis during a call, and eventually the way that the call is resolved ties in with the protagonist coming to embrace a resolution that will help him grow and move on from the past that was just fleshed out to us. I won’t bore you with an analysis of the other ‘Begins’ eps, but each of them is missing at least one crucial component of this structure. And I like that this means the parallels you can draw between 315 and 405 are almost endless. I like that in this, the show highlights how much these two men have in common, having been mistreated by their own parents, going through a crisis, almost giving up, but then finding exactly what they needed to move towards their own new families that they invested themselves in out of choice (Eddie finding the realization he has built a new family with the 118, and with Buck and Chris; Buck finding that Maddie was there for him even when he thought she wasn’t and, if he was unsure during the LS crossover whether his friends would come for him, learning that they would, always).
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We didn’t get a lot of Buck with the firefam scenes, if you think about it. And when we did, they were short. However! In each one of those scenes, Eddie was emphasized. From the moment Buck starts voicing his pain through the humorous tone, Eddie is the first face the camera cuts to, capturing his reaction, with a zoom in, twice in a row. That Eddie was first was already telling, but for a more neutral tone, I would have expected the camera to do the second zoom in on another of Buck’s teammates, to allow them to deliver the second line that lets us know how much pain Buck is actually in. But nope, we get Eddie again. Then the camera turns to Bobby and Hen together. Yes, it will then also zoom in on the rest individually, but the pattern established of Eddie being highlighted will continue. The building explodes with Buck inside? Eddie gets a lot of zoom in shots, while Chim and Hen are mostly shown together. The team makes it inside to save Buck? Eddie will be the first to appear, the first to grab the rope which signals Buck’s rescue, and the only one zoomed in on. Buck has a scene with the firefam after he’s out and Eddie’s not there? Eddie will be the first one to greet him when Buck returns from his medical check up and they will share this scene all by themselves while Bobby just walks away like it’s obvious they need time for themselves. Hen wasn’t focused on like this while Chim was inside with the bomber. Chim wasn’t zoomed in on like this when Hen was trapped underground. If Buddie isn’t endgame, why are they so constantly emphasized in relation to each other, Buck during the well collapsing in 315 and Eddie during Buck’s internal and external turmoil in 405?
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Speaking of that turmoil. We have all noticed that Buck is trying to play his pain off as a joke, right? At first Eddie reacts in kind, but then he realizes that it’s way more serious than Buck initially let on (and in this, Eddie sets the tone for the rest of the firefam in that scene, too). I wanted to point out that this made me think we keep seeing them rubbing off on each other. Just like we saw Eddie in 403 sharing weird trivia he clearly knew thanks to Buck’s passion (which is even hinted at in the dialogue), we see here that Buck has learned from Eddie’s tendency to use humor when trying to deflect pain. This is so married couple behavior, I’m astounded.
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In that bar in Peru, Buck was also using his passion for trivia in order to try and connect with the guy he was serving. He drops it when the guy checks out a girl passing by, sort of laughing it off knowingly, even though they continue talking. It’s subtle and more open to interpretation, but the fact that he drops it when the guy shows his sexual interests lie elsewhere makes it seem like maybe Buck was interested, but realized the guy’s a no go. Yes, we have another bi!Buck hint IMO. Then consider how with Eddie, Buck is successful in connecting using this tactic and I’m… at a loss for words, really.
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Ooof, when Eddie welcomes Buck upon his return from his medical check up, that scene is so coupley, I can’t even… First, that he was waiting for Buck to return, like a good spouse. Then, he brings back their coupley banter and Eddie looks so happy to be doing that! Next, we see Buck explaining himself, not to his Captain (who has had issues with Buck's recklessness in the past) but to Eddie, he’s the one that counts and is expected to be upset. But Eddie isn’t, doesn’t even roll his eyes (like he did, for example, at Buck’s passion for rope rescues in 316). No, he’s soft and fond and familiar, knowing that this is what Buck had to do and clearly finding something very comforting in that: in that Buck is still the guy he is even during rough times; in that Eddie gets how he is and in that Eddie values him for it. Again with the parallels to 315, think of how Eddie himself had to cut the rope, so he gets why Buck had to try and save the guy despite the risk. But then also consider the parallel with Ali in 218. She watched Buck and who he is, but couldn’t take it. Eddie not only takes it, he loves the way his husband ticks. And yes, I said husband, there is no other word for them at this point. Especially because then we get Eddie telling Buck about his parents, which suggests that he had been spending time with them, probably sharing with them the stories about how amazing Buck is. How is that not spouse behavior? Tim Minear, explain!
Thank you so much to the incredible @bicepsie​ for making these wonderful gifs for my meta post! xoxox Also, if you like my takes on Buddie, you can find more of my meta and fics for them here and you can find my kind of fix it fic for Buck Begins, Reflections of You, here.
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fluffyydumplings · 2 years
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Music
Witch One Will Win? - Part 5
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Summary: Taking a break is important.. Doing the things you enjoy is important. Productive or not, who cares…
Word Count: 617
Pairings: dragon hybrid!reader x witch!yoongi x writer!jimin / alien!jungkook x vampire!hoseok x werewolf!taehyung
Genre: fluff / crack!au / angst / fantasy!au / sci-fi!au
Warning: none
A/N: I wrote this out of nowhere. This is a simple, yet sweet chapter. I hope it provides a sense of comfort to you.
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‘Jimin-ah! Y/N-ah!’ the familiar, sweet yet deep voice swims through to the ballroom.
‘Yoon..’ the 1445 music box is switched off with the wavering of your fingers.
A classy white model plastered with multiple sakura flowers in the front. It either connects to one’s ears or is played out loud upon command.
‘You two were dancing?’ she smiles upon picturing what could have happened, fiddling with the chocolate suit she had on.
‘And you were monitoring them?’
‘Not anymore.. I feel uncomfortable watching them in such conditions. They look like they need some privacy of their own.’
‘The only reason why I monitor them is because I’m scared someone will die the moment I leave. They’ve grown pretty close though. They’ll be fine.
She recites paragraphs..
‘Nice..’
No one speaks, no one smiles, no one moves.
‘Oh.. Come on! Resume your dancing.’
‘I didn't come here to stare at your faces. Although they are beautiful.’
‘Yooniee.. Is rather grumpy today. Isn’t she?’ you tease.
‘So what if I am?’ her hands propped right below her chest.
‘Sway, Michael Bublé .. Out.’
───
When marimba rhythms start to play
Dance with me, make me sway
Like a lazy ocean hugs the shore
Hold me close, sway me more
Like a flower bending in the breeze,
Bend with me, sway with ease
When we dance, you have a way with me
Stay with me, sway with me
───
Looking into your eyes, Jimin fell in love. Both with you and the graceful steps that littered the floor. Clit Clat.. Clit Clat.. Clit Clat..
And sitting from the chair a few centimetres away, Yoongi too fell in love.
‘This reminds me of the olden days..’ Jimin closes his eyes, not losing a single step, as his memories come to life.
It was impossible to mess up - Jimin’s a swan hybrid. His whole life was and is dancing. It's been centuries ever since he left home - the great lake of amor.
But once you’ve resided in a place for so long, a part of it becomes a part of you. Jimin’s gravitation towards water speaks for itself.
‘We immortals can be quite irritating,’ you tease, your hands on his shoulders.
‘Humans are even more irritating.’
‘I know..’ you couldn't help but agree.
  ‘You do realise that witches are just humans who practice magic, right?’ she shouts loud enough for your ears to catch on.
‘You’re our favourite human, Yoons..’ at that she smiles, as the song comes to an end.
‘I will survive, Gloria Gaynor.. Out.’
───
At first I was afraid, I was petrified
Kept thinking I could never live without you by my side
But then I spent so many nights thinking how you did me wrong
And I grew strong
And I learned how to get along
And so you're back
From outer space
I just walked in to find you here with that sad look upon your face
I should have changed that stupid lock, I should have made you leave your key
If I'd known for just one second you'd be back to bother me
───
‘And so they stopped waltzing around as the music changes.’
‘Yoons.. I bet yah!’
To the rhythm of the song, in synchronisation, you shook like never before.
‘Yoons.. Want to join us? A little birdie told me you were good at this.’
‘No.. I’m tired. Also, you shouldn’t be talking to birds. Those creatures are more vicious than they look.’
‘They are proceeding to the next stage,’ the crystal ball announces.
‘Well.. Looks like we won’t be having any more fun,’ everything stops abruptly and the air goes silent.
‘I’ll be needing your help, Chim... Or,  should I say: blood-sucking Vampire Jimin?’
Take a look at the Y/N’s music box
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junghelioseok · 3 years
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clandestine. | 02
↳ forbidden fruit tastes the sweetest.
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◇ jungkook x reader ◇ smut | fluff | brother’s best friend!au ◇ 7k [2/6]
notes: looks like it’s a writing/editing kinda day, folks! hope you enjoy this installment, and let me know what you think! 
warnings: jk’s massive noona kink: a recurring yet warranted warning, jeon jungkook is a goddamn tease, smuuuut, oral (f receiving), jk’s got a big dick whoOPS, minimally edited bc i’m feeling lazy
⇢ 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 
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Morning brings with it bright sunshine and fresh horror as the events of the previous evening come rushing back. You aren’t sure you’ll ever be able to look Jeon Jungkook in the eye again—or at least, not without being reminded of the way he’d plagued every single one of your dreams with devilish eyes and even more devilish fingers. Groaning, you scrub at your temples, as if that will help dispel the memories. After a few fruitless moments, you crawl out of bed and head for the bathroom, intent on washing everything away with a good, cold shower.
Try as you might, though, you simply cannot avoid your dark-haired neighbor. You’re in the kitchen sipping at your second coffee of the day and debating what you want for lunch when there’s a knock on the front door—a familiar rhythm that has your heart stuttering. “It’s open!” Jimin yells from the living room, and a moment later, the devil himself strolls in, wearing a plain black t-shirt with ripped jeans and well-worn Timberlands. Vaguely, you wonder when he made the switch from white tees to black, but your musings are cut short when he spots you in the kitchen, an impish grin settling across his face.
“Hey, Noona.”
“Hey.” You thank whatever god may be out there that your voice is steady. “Jimin’s in the living room.”
Jungkook tilts his head coyly and takes a step forward. “What makes you think I’m here for Jimin? Maybe I came to see you.”
Anxiously, you swallow down the memories of his warm hands that are trying to resurface. “I highly doubt that.”
“Really?” Jungkook takes another step forward and plucks the coffee mug from your hands. “What if I came over to finish what I started last night?”
Heat floods across your face. “That—that was… I mean, I don’t—”
“You don’t what?” Jungkook asks, raising a brow. “Want me? Because I’m pretty sure that’s a lie, Noona.” Quietly, he closes the last bit of distance between you, and when he speaks again you can feel his warm breath fanning across your cheeks with every word. “You see, I think you want me. Just as much as I want you. Am I wrong?”
“Jungkook, we—”
“Dude, what’s taking you so long?” Jimin’s head suddenly pops around the doorway, and you nearly jump out of your skin in your effort to put some distance between you and your dark-haired neighbor. “I’m about to start the game without you.”
“Just wanted to grab some coffee and say hi to {Name},” Jungkook replies, raising your half-empty mug to his lips and taking a sip. “Did you want to join us, Noona? It’d be fun to watch you kick Jimin’s ass at Mario Kart again.”
You swallow, hard. “I can’t. I’ve got homework to do.” Not strictly true, perhaps, but you’d been planning on looking over the details of your internship again at some point, and now seems as good a time as any. “Sorry,” you add quickly, seeing Jungkook’s disbelieving expression.
“Summer homework? Gross.” Jimin pulls a face. “You’re still coming to Tae’s party though, right?”
You nod, unwillingly catching Jungkook’s eye again. He’s still sipping at your coffee, and you don’t miss the flagrant wink he shoots you over the rim of the cup. “See you later then, Noona,” he says, his voice practically a purr.
“Right,” you respond dully, your heart skipping a beat at the dark promise in his stare. “Later.”
Jimin and Jungkook disappear down the hall, but you remain rooted in the kitchen for a few minutes longer, listening as the music of whatever video game they’ve decided on starts playing from the living room. Heaving a sigh, you fetch a new mug from the cupboard and pour yourself some more coffee, grabbing an apple and a bag of chips as well. Taking everything up to your bedroom, you pull out your laptop and make yourself comfortable on your bed, plugging in some headphones to drown out the noise from downstairs. With any luck, you won’t have to see Jungkook again until you have to leave for Taehyung’s party, and you’re pretty sure that it’ll be easy to avoid him once you’re there.
In fact, you’re certain of it.
So with that thought in mind, you settle down with your coffee and open up Netflix, sinking into the pillows and pushing your dark-haired neighbor into the deepest recesses of your mind. It isn’t until your phone starts vibrating insistently against your thigh that you are startled out of your binge-watching, the screen lit up with two new notifications. Surprised, you realize that hours have passed, the sky outside your window deepening into the hazy blue of nighttime.
[6:02pm] Jungkook: you hungry, noona?
[6:02pm] Jungkook: for pizza, i mean. we ordered dinner
[6:03pm] Jungkook: but i’ll be your dessert if you want me ;)
You drop your phone as if burned, his final message playing over and over in your mind. It takes you a full minute to gather your wits again, stowing your device in your pocket without responding and carefully picking your way downstairs. Already, you can smell the cheesy grease, your stomach growling in anticipation.
Just grab the pizza and go, you think to yourself, formulating your escape plan and double-checking it for any holes. Dine and dash.
You’re walking past the foyer when there’s suddenly a knock on the front door. Curiously, you answer it, swinging it open to see a familiar grinning face standing on the doorstep. Lee Taemin is a good friend of Jimin’s, and your brother pokes his head out from the kitchen at the sound of your greeting, clearly expecting the new guest.
“Taemin! Get in here and have some pizza,” Jimin says, his mouth full. “You too, Noona. We got plenty.”
Instead of immediately heading for the food, Taemin wraps you in a hug that has you wheezing for air. “Long time no see, huh? How’ve you been?”
You squirm in his tight embrace, raised to your tiptoes. “Put me down, you heathen. I’m fine right now, but I won’t be if you suffocate me.”
Taemin chortles good-naturedly and releases his grip, ruffling your hair. “Good to see you too, {Name}. Honestly, it hasn’t been the same around here without you. How long are you back for? The whole summer?”
You shake your head. “Just a couple weeks. I’ve got to get back for an internship.”
“Already a hotshot, huh?” Taemin grins. “What are you going to be doing?”
The topic of your summer job is a welcome distraction from the way Jungkook’s dark gaze trails after you as you tread into the kitchen alongside Taemin, slapping two slices of pizza onto a plate and glancing around for a napkin. You can feel his eyes boring into the back of your skull, prickling your skin with electricity, but continue your conversation with Taemin as if nothing is amiss.
“You gonna sit down or what?” Taemin gives you a quizzical glance as he pulls a chair out from the table, joining Jimin and Jungkook who are already seated. You do your best to ignore the way Jungkook’s jaw flexes with every chew, somehow managing to look infuriatingly handsome despite the mouth full of dough and pizza grease staining his chin.
“I—” Your mind whirs, searching for the excuse you had planned. “—I still have some work to do. Reading and whatnot.”
“Nerd,” Jimin snorts.
Taemin shrugs. “Okay, then. Suit yourself, I guess.”
Jungkook doesn’t say anything. But you feel his eyes burning into your skin as you head back upstairs, and it isn’t until you are safely back in your bedroom, sagging against the closed door, that you can finally breathe properly again.
///
You end up departing for the party nearly twenty minutes after the official start time of eight o’clock, caving to Jimin’s insistence on being fashionably late. Personally, you think he just wanted the extra time to work on his hair—making sure every strand is perfectly, effortlessly tousled—and call him out on it as he locks the front door behind you.
“I didn’t spend that long on my hair,” Jimin sniffs defensively. “Besides, you’re the one who needed to run back in and get your wallet. What do you even need your wallet for? We’re walking like, four blocks.”
“Better safe than sorry,” you retort. “What if I get murdered and they need to identify my body? What if I get mugged? You never know!”
Taemin falls into step beside you. “What if we need to tip a stripper?” he chimes in.
You nod and raise your hand for a high-five without taking your eyes off your brother. “Exactly! You have to tip your sex workers, Chim!”
Jimin waggles a suggestive eyebrow. “I think I’d rather give them a different ti—”
You push him off the sidewalk before he can finish speaking, pulling a face as he stumbles into the street in a fit of laughter. “Don’t you dare finish that sentence, you perv!”
The remainder of the short walk to Taehyung’s house passes uneventfully. Jimin doesn’t bother knocking, throwing open the door like he owns the place, and you trail after him with Taemin and Jungkook on your heels. Immediately, you’re assailed by a cacophonous sea of conversation and thumping music, people milling around in the dimly lit interior.
“There you are!” The voice comes from your left, and you barely have time to register the speaker’s face before she’s gasping and engulfing you in a hug. “{Name}, you made it! Hi!”
You laugh, squeezing her back. “Hi, Chaeyoung. It’s good to see you. Sorry I didn’t catch you at graduation.”
“Oh please,” she says, waving you off. “We have all the time in the world to catch up now. Let’s get you away from these boys and find you a drink, shall we?” Flipping a lock of strawberry blonde hair over her shoulder, she loops her arm through yours and begins steering you toward the kitchen. “So what are you in the mood for? The beer’s shit, so I’d stay away from anything in the cooler, but everything else is actually drinkable.”
“Shocking,” you remark, peering at the mess of bottles and cups lining the kitchen counter. There’s a massive bowl of a horrifyingly neon green concoction as well, and you take one whiff before backing away again, nose wrinkling in disgust. “I see Tae’s still making punch.”
“I wouldn’t touch that if I were you,” Chaeyoung advises. “He’s somehow managed to make it twice as sugary and three times more alcoholic than last year’s. Pretty sure it’s worse than moonshine at this point.”
You grin and locate an empty cup, raising it in her direction. “Thanks for the heads up.”
Chaeyoung refills her own drink, and you settle on a simple blend of cranberry juice and vodka. Together, you head back in the direction of the living room, where Jisoo and Lisa are chattering away on a couch in the corner. They look up at your arrival, greeting you with smiles and hugs, and quickly usher you into a seat beside them.
“So,” Jisoo begins, leaning forward. “How’s college?”
“Tell us everything,” Lisa adds, propping her chin in her palm. “Is it nice living away from home?”
Jisoo waggles her brows. “Forget that. Have you met any guys?”
Unbidden, Jungkook springs to the forefront of your mind, dark eyes staring at you from beneath equally dark hair as he leans down, down, down—
“Nope!” you blurt before your thoughts can progress any further. “I mean, I share a suite with a couple guys, but that doesn’t count.”
“Are they cute?” Lisa prods.
“They must be more mature than these high school boys,” Chaeyoung sighs.
“Hardly,” you snort. “Don’t get your hopes up.”
The gossip continues. More people arrive as the night wears on, the living room filling up with dancing bodies. A few girls you don’t know join in your conversation, perching on armrests and ottomans and the carpeted floor as a last resort. Across the hall in the dining room, you spot Taemin setting up a table for beer pong, a triumphant shout going up when Taehyung procures an unopened package of balls from somewhere in the hall closet.
“This is gonna be tournament style, got it?” he announces as he tears the package open. “Winner goes up against the undefeated champs—Jungkook and Yugyeom!”
Even from your comfy seat on the couch, you can see the arrogant twist of Jungkook’s mouth as he leans over to give Yugyeom a high-five. You can’t tear your eyes away from the way he tongues his cheek, lounging back into a chair to watch the first round of the game. Jimin steps forward alongside Taehyung, and you watch as your brother scrutinizes the pyramid of cups, poised to make a throw that lifts his shirt just enough to expose a flash of his admittedly toned abdomen.
“He wore that shirt on purpose,” Jisoo accuses, and you huff out a sound that’s more snort than laugh.
“Please, it’s just the only shirt he owns that isn’t dirty. Trust me.”
“I don’t even care,” another girl you don’t know the name of pipes up. “I’d still let him blow my back out.”
You grimace. “And on that note, I suddenly need another drink,” you announce, to giggles. Wrenching out of your cozy seat between Jisoo and Lisa, you wave your near empty cup in farewell and make your way toward the kitchen, carefully skirting around the dancers and beer pong spectators spilling out into the hallway.
The kitchen is deserted when you walk in, everyone having flocked to the dining room to watch the beer pong tournament. Humming along to the music, you open up the fridge and survey its contents, hoping to find something decent. Curiously, you pick your way past a few cans before turning a dark glass bottle around to read the label.
“Are you avoiding me, Noona?”
The voice comes from behind you, deep and sinfully resonant, and you don’t even have to turn around to know that he’s standing just inches away. His breath ruffles through the hair at the nape of your neck, sending gooseflesh prickling across your skin, and when strong hands curl gently around your hips you let out a breath you hadn’t realized you’d been holding.
“I missed you, y’know,” he continues, his mouth finding its way to your ear and nipping lightly at the lobe. “You didn’t talk to me all day, even though I was right there in your house. Ran like a scared little rabbit when you saw me in the kitchen, didn’t you?” Softly, his lips ghost along the column of your throat, pressing a kiss to the junction of your neck and shoulder. “So, now what? Are you gonna run from me again?”
You don’t think you could if you tried. Your feet are rooted firmly in place, your entire body frozen as you await whatever he’ll do next. And when he urges you to spin around and face him, you obey immediately, your hands coming up to splay against his chest as he presses even closer and rewards your compliance with a kiss.
“Jungkook,” you breathe against his parted lips. “Jungkook, god.”
Slowly, he trails down your neck, leaving soft nips in his wake. “Yes, Noona?”
“We can’t,” you whisper, even as your head falls back to allow him more access to your clavicle. “Jungkook, we can’t do this.”
Your companion raises his head then, his dark gaze meeting yours. “Tell me to stop,” he says quietly. His thumbs dip beneath the hem of your shirt, rubbing circles into the soft skin of your waist, and you inhale sharply at the feeling. “If that’s what you want, Noona, just tell me to stop and I will. I promise.”
He’s palming along your hips now. The warmth of his palms seeps into your body, rendering it increasingly difficult to concentrate. His mouth returns to your neck as he awaits your answer, and you don’t miss the way his lips curl into a smirk against the delicate skin of your collarbone when you hesitate a moment too long.
“Well, Noona?”
Fuck it. Your arms wind around his neck, pulling him closer until there’s no space left between your bodies. “Jungkook, kiss me,” you breathe, throwing all remaining remnants of caution to the wind.
Jungkook straightens up to his full height, his smirk widening. “Anything for you, princess,” he remarks before leaning down, winding one hand in your hair and finding purchase in the curve of your waist with the other. The newfound pet name ignites a tendril of heat in the pit of your belly, and when Jungkook finally closes the gap between your lips, you release a breathy moan that he eagerly swallows. The hand in your hair tightens its grip to pull you even closer, tongues and teeth clashing as he deepens the kiss.
It’s only when the need for air becomes critical that you break away from him with a gasp, your lungs aching. Jungkook isn’t faring much better, his chest heaving beneath the thin white material of his t-shirt. He releases his grip on your hair, his thumb grazing across your cheek gently instead, and when he leans in to plant another kiss on your mouth, you exhale shakily. “God, Jungkook.”
His arm tightens around your waist. “What do you need, princess?” he asks, and you can’t deny your delight at his continued use of the nickname. His teeth find the lobe of your ear again, and you release a breathy moan as he delivers a particularly sharp nip to the soft flesh before pressing an open-mouthed kiss to the sensitive spot just below it. “Tell me. Tell me, and I’ll give it to you. I’ll give you anything you want.”
You slide your hands along his broad shoulders and up to his nape, brushing the silver hoops in his ears before tangling your fingers in his silky hair. “You’re teasing me.”
Jungkook clicks his tongue and pulls away, your arms falling uselessly to your sides as he takes a step back. “I just need to hear you say it, Noona,” he chides, his voice leaving no room for disobedience. “I need to hear you say that you want this. That you want me.”
A shiver dances up your spine, and you aren’t sure whether it’s due to his wicked lilt or the sudden absence of his body heat. “I want you,” you whisper, reaching out to touch him. “Jungkook, please.”
The smirk that spreads across his face is absolutely devastating. “Then come with me,” he commands softly, taking your hand and lacing your fingers together. You leave behind the thumping music and the loud chatter of the party, allowing Jungkook to pull you into one of several rooms lining the hallway and squeaking when he shuts the door and immediately pins you against it. His mouth slants across yours, hot and urgent, and you moan into the kiss as your hands fly up to grip his shoulders.
“Do you know how long I’ve wanted this?” Jungkook breathes, pulling away just enough to whisper the words against your lips. “Fuck, princess, look at this tiny little skirt you’re wearing. You’ve been killing me all night, you know that?”
He punctuates the words with another kiss, nipping harshly at your bottom lip. His hands slide down to the curve of your ass, and you gasp when he scoops you up effortlessly. “Legs around my waist,” he orders, readjusting his grip as he begins walking you further into the room.
It’s the laundry room, you realize upon closer inspection. Jungkook’s busy mouthing at your neck, but he breaks away with a smirk when he finally reaches his destination, plopping you down atop the cool metal of the washing machine. “Shame there’s nothing in here,” he remarks, kicking the side softly. “I really wanna fuck you with this thing running one day. But for now…” His smirk widens, his hands settling on your knees. “This’ll do.”
In an instant, he’s pushed up your skirt and hooked his thumbs into the waistband of your panties, tugging them down and off your legs. He drops to his knees, smoothing his hands along your inner thighs, and your cheeks flush when he urges you to spread them further. “Jungkook—“ you mumble, thoroughly embarrassed as he stares reverently at your exposed core, his tongue swiping across his bottom lip. “Quit staring at me like that.”
“I can’t help it,” he murmurs, leaning in and pressing a soft trail of kisses along your thigh. “You’re so beautiful, Noona.”
“You…”
You trail off, unsure of what to say. What do you say when your little brother’s best friend is staring at you like you’re a desert oasis and he’s been wandering, dehydrated, for days? What do you say when the scrawny neighbor kid you’d grown up with is caressing every inch of your legs, soothing the soft skin with his fingers and lips?
What do you say when you realize, once and for all, that Jeon Jungkook is undoubtedly—unabashedly—a man now?
You swallow, hard. Jungkook is nearing your core now, his hair tickling your thighs, and you gasp when he slides a finger up your slit experimentally. “You’re so wet,” he breathes. “So wet, and so—” He touches the pad of his finger to his tongue, grinning up at you as he laps up your essence. “—delicious. Fuck. You’re the best thing I’ve ever tasted.”
And then he leans forward, boldly licking a stripe up the length of your entrance. Strong arms wind around your legs to hold you open, and when he shoves his face even deeper, his nose brushing against your clit, you let out a strangled whimper. “Fuck, Jungkook—”
The sound of his name draws a pleased hum from the young man nestled between your thighs, rumbling through his chest and straight to your core. Your walls clench, but Jungkook stubbornly refuses to dip his tongue inside. Instead, he teases at your folds, spreading them apart with two fingers and licking ardently at your leaking juices before kissing a short trail up to your clit. “Can you cum like this?” he asks curiously, thumbing across the sensitive bundle of nerves.
His answer comes in the form of a breathy gasp, your hips jerking upward to seek out more friction. Jungkook chuckles and obliges your silent request, dark eyes flickering up to meet yours as he begins rubbing slow circles around your bud. “Guess that’s a yes,” he murmurs, pressing yet another kiss to your thigh. His gaze remains locked on yours as he rubs a little harder, dragging your juices up from your slit and digging in deep until you are moaning aloud, your hands coming down to fist in his silky hair.
“I-I’m close,” you keen. “Please, Jungkook, please.”
Jungkook hums and leans back. At the same time, he slides two fingers inside you, curling them upward, and the sudden surge of fullness is more than enough to tip you over the edge. His name escapes your lips in a garbled moan, your walls spasming around his hand as he continues teasing your clit, drawing out your orgasm until you finally whine from oversensitivity and bat him away. Obediently, he withdraws, rising to his feet so that he towers over you once more.
“Holy fuck,” he murmurs, staring down at you with an expression caught somewhere between awestruck wonder and unbridled hunger. “You’re so pretty when you cum. So pretty and perfect and—” He swallows, his throat bobbing harshly. “God, I need to fuck you. Can I fuck you now, Noona? Will you let me stretch open this pretty little pussy and fill you up with my cock?”
Your breath hitches. Never in a million years could you have imagined that your brother’s mild-mannered best friend could have such a filthy mouth, but you cannot hide the way your core clenches at his words. Slowly, you raise your arms, winding them around his neck to pull him closer. “Yes,” you whisper, brushing your lips against his. “Fuck me, Jungkook.”
A groan escapes him, deep and cavernous in a way that sends heat spiking through your veins. Jungkook doesn’t waste any time, his mouth chasing after yours as one hand finds the back of your head, pulling you into a bruising kiss. The other slides down to the waistband of his jeans, freeing himself from the confines of the denim. He doesn’t break the kiss for a moment, even as he grabs your hips and pulls you closer. It isn’t until you’re seated on the very edge of the washing machine, wrapping your legs around his waist to steady yourself, that you pull away and let your gaze fall to his newly revealed cock. Jungkook is long and deliciously thick, and you let out a shaky breath when you see the pearlescent white drops beading at the swollen tip.
“Oh my god.” The words bubble up automatically, escaping you in an airy whisper. “How are you so big?”
Jungkook huffs out a hoarse chuckle, amusement glittering in his dark irises. “Think you can take all of me, princess?”
Your gaze falls down to his length again, your tongue darting out to wet your lips. “Put on a condom, and let’s find out.”
Jungkook grins and produces a little foil wrapper from somewhere in his back pocket, tearing into it with his teeth. You help him roll the condom over his cock, and as soon as it’s in place, he’s lining himself up and pushing inside you. A deep groan escapes him as he parts your walls inch by torturous inch, and you moan as your pussy is stretched to its limit, molding to his shape and sheer size. By the time he bottoms out, he’s almost prodding at your cervix, and you grab breathlessly at his bicep.
“I—I need a minute,” you gasp, your body spasming around him as you fight to adjust to the surge of fullness.
“Me too,” Jungkook rasps, his voice strained. His eyes flutter shut as he inhales deeply through his nose, cursing again when you clench around him unconsciously. “Fuck. You’re so tight.”
For a few moments, there’s only the sound of Jungkook’s labored breathing, his head falling forward to rest on your shoulder. His breath is hot against the exposed skin of your clavicle, and you sigh when you feel him mouthing at the delicate skin, nipping softly before soothing across it with his tongue.
At the sound, Jungkook raises his head, dark eyes meeting yours before dropping down to where the two of you are joined. “God, you look so good like this,” he murmurs, licking his lips. “So pretty, stuffed full of my cock.”
You clench around him again—this time more purposefully. Jungkook’s mouth falls open, a silent question on the tip of his tongue, and you answer it with a deliberate roll of your hips, wordlessly encouraging him to move. Gingerly, he obeys, retreating until only the head of his erection remains inside you. His hand drops down to your clit, and you keen out his name when he surges forward at the same time he flicks his thumb across the sensitive nub. Pleasure licks at your spine, replacing the discomfort. Jungkook lets out a pleased hum.
Slowly, he works up a rhythm, keeping his thrusts shallow as he begins rubbing circles around your clit again. With his other hand, he slides the straps of your top down your shoulders, tugging the bodice down just enough to free your breasts. Your nipples harden at the exposure, and a moan escapes you when he immediately takes one between his fingers, rolling and pinching at the peak. The additional stimulation, paired with the heavy drag of his cock along your walls and his insistent thumb on your clit, has you teetering dangerously close to the edge, your tummy tensing.
“Jungkook—” you whimper, your nails digging into his shoulders. He grunts in response and picks up the pace, rolling even more fervently up into your clenching heat, and you gasp when a particularly hard thrust sends you scooting backward atop the washing machine. “Fuck! I’m close, Jungkook.”
“Me too,” he grits out. “Come on, princess, cum for me. I know you can do it, just let go for me one more time—”
And with one final flick of his wrist and a thrust that’s so deep you can practically feel him in the back of your throat, you come completely undone, spasming wildly around his cock. It all proves too much for Jungkook, who’s groaning right alongside you as he reaches his high, spilling into the condom. He chants your name like a prayer as his hips gradually still, and his lips seek out yours almost instinctively as his cock softens inside you. The kiss is lazy and languid, contentment settling in your veins. Jungkook wraps you up in a warm embrace, his tongue dipping inside your mouth to explore.
It isn’t until a loud cheer rises up from the front of the house that you snap out of your blissful haze. “We should get back to the party,” you mumble into the kiss, pushing against Jungkook’s chest when he only pulls you closer. “Jungkook, come on. People are gonna get suspicious if we’re gone too long.”
“You know what else will make people suspicious? You, coming out like that.” He gestures at the skirt hiked up around your waist, a slow smirk playing at his lips as he gives you a once-over, his gaze lingering on the wet sheen streaking your inner thighs. “As much as I’m enjoying the view.”
You swat his arm. “Stop that!”
Jungkook snickers and bends down to pick up your discarded panties, swinging them around his index finger. “Stop what?”
“Oh my god, Jungkook.”
Cackling, he returns the lacy undergarment to you, watching as you pull the material up your legs. You adjust your shirt while he disposes of his condom, and when you hop off the washing machine, he offers you a hand that you gratefully accept, gripping his arm as you steady yourself on shaky legs.
“You should leave first,” you tell him, smoothing out the wrinkles in his t-shirt and relishing the way his muscles twitch beneath your fingertips. “It’ll look weird if we leave together, and I need to pee, anyway.”
Jungkook grins and catches your wrists, swooping down to plant a quick kiss on your mouth. “As you wish,” he says, offering you a playful wink.
Then he’s straightening back up to his full height, checking his pockets and running a hand through his mussed hair. You watch as he walks over to the door, putting his ear against it for a few seconds before determining that the coast is clear and slipping out into the hallway. As the door clicks shut behind him, you hear someone—you’re pretty sure it’s a drunk Yugyeom—greet him with a resounding clap on the back. “Dude, where have you been all night? We’re getting our asses handed to us. Minho and Taemin are winning.”
“Sorry, man,” Jungkook half-shouts, and you realize that he’s making sure you can hear him. “Come on. Let’s go get that crown.”
Leaning against the door, you listen as their voices recede down the hallway. You count to five, and then to ten when your thumping heart refuses to slow. At nineteen, it finally calms down—enough that you feel comfortable leaving the laundry room and slipping into the bathroom to clean yourself up.
There’s a massive crowd gathered in the dining room by the time you rejoin the party, and you easily slip unnoticed into the mass of people eagerly watching the final round of the beer pong tournament. Jungkook stands at the far end of the table beside Yugyeom, poised to throw.
He catches your eye at the same time he releases the ball with a flick of his wrist, a knowing smirk settling on his face as triumphant cheers break out all around you.
///
It’s well after midnight by the time the party begins to wind down. Chaeyoung and Lisa are nowhere to be found, and several other girls are lingering near the front door saying their goodbyes before heading out. You find yourself seated on the couch between Jimin and Minho, watching as the latter helps clean up by hurling beer cans at the wastebasket on the other end of the room.
“Man, no wonder you suck at pong.” Jungkook walks into the room and plops down on an end table, a faded cardboard Burger King crown sitting rakishly on his head. “Want me to show you how the champs do it?”
Minho snorts. “Fuck off, man, you barely won that second game. Besides, we totally would’ve won if Taemin hadn’t spent half the time staring at Lisa’s tits.”
Taemin, who’s perched on a corner of the coffee table, raises his hands innocently. “Hey, don’t look at me. I scored most of the points that round.”
Minho huffs irritably and tosses another can at the wastebasket, cursing when it bounces off the rim. Taehyung wanders in and picks it up, throwing it back at Minho before squeezing into the miniscule amount of space between you and Jimin on the couch.
“Jesus, Tae,” you grunt, shifting to give him more room. The movement tilts you toward Minho, smushing you against his side, and he shoots you a playful grin and a wink.
“Cozy?”
“Cozy,” you confirm with a laugh.
“Good,” he says, freeing his arm and throwing it across the back of the couch to give you a little more space. “It’s nice having you around again, Noona.”
Jungkook’s head whirls around so quickly you fear he might have given himself whiplash. His stare zeroes in on Minho’s arm, eyes narrowing at the proximity, but the other boy remains blissfully unaware as he leans back against the couch cushions. Subtly, you lean forward, trying to put some distance between your bodies.
“It’s nice to be back,” you tell him. “It feels like I missed so much, but at the same time, it’s like nothing’s changed.”
“Choi’s aim sure hasn’t changed,” Yugyeom remarks from the doorway with a handful of empty beer bottles. “Still can’t land a shot, even after all these years.” Raising a bottle, he hefts it toward the wastebasket, smirking in satisfaction when it sinks perfectly inside the can.
“And not just with pong,” Taemin goads. “How did things go with Sana again?”
Minho rolls his eyes. “Like you’re one to talk. Besides, we’d all probably stand a better chance if Jeon over there would leave some girls for the rest of us.”
“You’re just jealous because Sana likes him better than she likes you,” Taehyung says with a snicker. “Yo, Jeon! Didn’t you guys make it to third base at Jackson’s party?”
Your stomach sinks as all eyes in the room turn to Jungkook, whose eyes go wide at the sudden attention. “What?”
“Sa. Na,” Taehyung repeats, emphasizing each syllable. “Hottest girl in our year? Third base at Jackson’s? Or are you having a hard time remembering since you wound up leaving with Jihyo?”
Yugyeom chortles as he plops down onto the carpeted floor. “Fuck, man, I forgot about that. Jesus. Just last year you were still shitting yourself at the thought of talking to a girl. Who knew you secretly had so much game?”
The room is beginning to feel stifling. Every breath you take feels like you’re inhaling ash, like a volcano that has lain dormant for ages has suddenly and without warning erupted inside your chest.
He’s playing you. And even worse, it seems that this is a game he’s played before—many times, if his friends are to be believed. Your stomach turns at the thought.
From his perch on the end table, Jungkook scoffs out a stilted, staccato note. “Right. I guess any nonzero number would seem high to you guys, huh?”
Loud jeers break out from the surrounding boys, and you do your best to melt back into the couch cushions. The way you’re squished between Taehyung and Minho makes it impossible for you to find any leverage to stand, so you settle for leaning your head back and staring at the stucco ceiling, willing your heartbeat to slow. Gradually, the noise of the party fades into the background, as do the voices of your brother and his friends. It’s only when Jimin pokes your shoulder, singsonging your name, that you break out of your trance.
“What? Huh?”
“The lake house,” Jimin says, looking at you as if you’re stupid. “You down?”
You can only blink at him, repeating the words back to him dumbly. “The lake house?”
Jimin raises a brow. “Yeah, the lake house. You know, our lake house? The one we drive up to every summer? Where we’ve been vacationing since we were like, five?”
You scowl when he pinches your cheek like you’re a child again. “Yeah, I got that. What about it?”
A snort. “Jeez, have you been listening at all, Noona? We’re talking about going up there for a few days.”
“Oh,” you croak. Unwillingly, you find yourself glancing over at Jungkook, your face growing warm when you see him staring right back, his expression careful and composed. “Right.”
“You should come, Noona,” Taemin pipes up. “You’re here for the next few weeks, right? Might as well have some fun.”
“I don’t know—” you begin, but Jimin cuts you off with a raised finger and another pinch to your cheek.
“You can’t just do homework the whole time you’re here,” he says. “Come with us, Noona. Live a little.”
“It’ll help get your mind off your internship, too,” Jungkook remarks softly. “You deserve a break. Just a few days won’t hurt.”
The fact that he remembers your internship woes shouldn’t make your heart lurch. You know it shouldn’t, but you can’t help the way your chest swells dangerously. “Fine,” you concede, reaching over Taehyung to pinch Jimin’s cheek in retaliation. “I’ll come, I guess.”
Taehyung and Taemin cheer, and Minho wraps his arm around your shoulder and squeezes you tight. “We should invite the other girls,” he points out, chuckling when you splutter for air in his ironclad grasp and try in vain to shake him off. “Don’t want it to be a total sausage fest.”
“Penis party is a much better term,” Taehyung interjects helpfully. “It’s alliterative.”
“You want alliterative? How about a cock carnival?” Jimin supplies, before doubling over in giggles.
You huff, exasperated at the ludicrous turn in conversation. “I can’t believe I’m coming with you guys.”
Minho snickers. “Title of your sex tape,” he jokes, punctuating it with a suggestive eyebrow waggle that sobers your brother up immediately. Jimin straightens up and fixes Minho with a glare, and despite your brother’s smaller stature, the older boy still shrinks back slightly.
“Dude, that’s my sister.”
Minho raises his hands apologetically. “Sorry, sorry. Automatic response. My bad.”
You just roll your eyes. “Are you twelve? God. I don’t know how the girls put up with any of you.”
Gradually, the night draws to a close. The number of people milling about dwindles, and Taehyung fiddles with his phone, letting out a satisfied hum when he finds the playlist he wants. The music transforms into something low and smooth, the soft R&B beat filling the room. You feel your eyes begin to droop.
“We should probably head home,” Jimin says, stretching his arms lazily overhead. “Noona here has to get her beauty sleep, and I don’t feel like carrying her back if she falls asleep here.”
“Shut up, Chim,” you mumble, but there’s no real bite in your tone. Jimin just chuckles and stands up, tugging on your hand until you’re on your feet as well. Jungkook straightens up too, and together, you bid farewell to the others and head for the door.
“{Name}, wait a second.”
You turn at the sound of Jisoo’s voice, tilting your head curiously as she lays a gentle hand on your arm and ushers you off to the side. “Yeah?”
Jisoo casts a furtive glance around the hallway, lowering her voice to a murmur. “I see what’s going on with Jungkook,” she whispers once she’s sure the coast is clear.
You stiffen, your mouth opening and closing a few times before you manage to find your voice again. “You… you saw us?”
She nods. “He’s been watching you all night—it’d honestly be harder not to notice. I just…” She sighs and looks around again, missing the relief that must be etched across your expression as her gaze lingers on where Jungkook and Jimin are loitering by the door. “…just be careful, okay? Jungkook—he’s changed this past year. I mean, I don’t know if all the rumors are true, but… he’s not the same guy you probably remember. He went out with Chae for a few weeks, did she tell you that?”
At your look of horror, she sighs. “Figures. She hides it well, but I know she’s still torn up about how he ended it after they slept together. So watch out for him, okay? He’s a heartbreaker. And he never, ever stays until the morning.”
Every word that leaves her mouth stings, but you don’t let that show on your face. Instead, you force a smile and pat her hand reassuringly. “Don’t worry about me,” you tell her. “I’m not going to get involved with him.”
You repeat that to yourself the whole way home, trying not to focus on the young man a few paces away and the way you can still taste him on your tongue.
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thisissirius · 3 years
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my version of the “ok but in the finale eddie gets shot, right?” fic
to touch the sky [ao3 link] eddie/buck, finale speculation. major injuries. mentions throwing up. 
Eddie can see the sky. 
Is he supposed to see the sky? His ears are ringing and there’s a hazy quality to all the noise, like it’s coming from a long way off. 
Move, Eddie tells himself. 
There’s a dull ache beneath Eddie’s breastbone, a tingling in his fingers, and he’s finding it hard to breathe. Something about that should scare him, but it’s too hard to focus. He grunts, remembers his training; pinpoint one noise, one feeling. 
Sirens. Eddie winces, wants desperately to cough but can’t. 
A voice. Buck.
Choosing Buck’s voice is easy; Eddie focuses everything on it, on trying to move his head, but he doesn’t need to. The sound of something scraping and then Buck’s head appears above him, eyes wide, panic in his expression.
“Eddie,” Buck says, but it sounds murky. Eddie blinks, licks his bottom lip as he tries to solidify Buck’s face. Instead, his eyes drift down his body and he notices that Buck’s not wearing his uniform. Why? It’s something Eddie should know and he’s frustrated that he doesn’t. What’s happening? “Eddie.” 
“I’m fine,” Eddie tries to say; but it comes out a gurgled mess. There’s blood on Buck’s hands when he touches Eddie’s face. He looks scared. Eddie hates it when he looks scared. “Shit.” 
“Don’t swear,” Eddie tries. Again, it doesn’t make sense even to him. He can’t focus on why that is, just the terror in Bucks eyes. 
Buck is still touching him, hands wet and red, and he’s shaking. “You hold on for me, okay?” 
Can do. Not that he knows why he needs to. Eddie’s done it before. Thinks if Buck asks, he’d hold on forever. That sparks something in him; he is waiting for Buck. He’s been waiting, but about what drifts just out of reach. He wants to—
Pain explodes in Eddie’s chest and he makes a noise, one that makes Buck’s face screw up. “I’m sorry, I’m so fucking sorry.”
“Why are you sorry?” Eddie tries. Some of it must slur out because Buck’s gaze sharpens, a little hope. “You’re bloody.” 
Something crumples in Bucks face. Eddie thinks it’s the worst thing he’s ever seen. 
“It’s yours,” Buck says, his voice high. “Eddie, it’s yours.” 
Oh. That doesn’t sound good.
Drifting for a while, Eddie stares up at the blue, blue sky. It’s bright, sunny, and it’s a nice day. The park. Eddie’s supposed to be taking Chris to the park tomorrow, his day off. Alone, because someone else, someone who comes with them somtimes, isn’t there anymore, but the name drifts away, just the image of a smile, a name he doesn’t like. 
“Eddie?” 
It’s a lot of effort to move his head but Eddie does. Buck’s crying and Eddie wants to reach out, wipe the tears away. His fingers are still tingling and all he can manage is a weird jerk of his fingers. 
“Stay with me, alright? I need to get you on the basket so it’s gonna hurt.”
“Nothing hurts,” Eddie tells him, but for some reason that makes Buck close his eyes, take a few breaths. “Okay?” 
A laugh, sad. “Yeah, Eddie, I’m okay.” 
Eddie groans when pain shoots through his chest. He ignores Buck’s muttered apologies, focus on the way the sky tilts, his eyes taking in a building, the side of another. 
“You got him?” Chimney. Chim’s here? 
“We at work?” Eddie asks. Buck doesn’t answer for a moment. “Buck?” 
Eddie can’t help the way his tone banks into panic. 
“Easy,” Buck says immediately, and his face reappears. “I just had to get the harness on, Eddie, alright? I’m still here.” 
Eddie stares at him. Harness? Nothing about this makes sense. When whatever he’s laying on sways, he feels sick. “M’gonna throw up.” 
“Shit,” Buck says. “Alright, Eddie, do what you gotta do, okay?” 
“M’kay.” Eddie blinks. “Glad you’re here.” 
Buck laughs and again, it sounds funny. “You and me both, buddy.”
There’s a lot more swaying, and nausea bubbles up until it’s overwhelming. “M’sorry,” he mutters as he throws up, chest flaring with pain until it’s all he can focus on. 
“Hey,” Buck says, his voice cutting through whatever’s whining. “Eddie, listen to me, Eddie, you need to focus, okay—HOLD THE FUCKING WINCH—sorry, I know that was loud.”
Eddie closes his eyes, embarrassed, but there’s a hand in his hair. 
“Eddie,” Buck says, his voice gentle, and the swaying is less. 
“Buck,” Eddie manages, and the whining’s stopped at least. “Feel funny.”
A pause. When Eddie opens one eye, he can see Buck hovering over him. He’s wearing a helmet, blood on his forehead, his shirt, but he’s there. He touches Eddie’s face. “I know. We’ll be at the hospital real soon.”
Hospital. For Eddie?
“Yeah, for you,” Buck says, voice cracking. 
“’kay,” Eddie mumbles, and closes his eyes. He can feel the rocking, the noises filtering back in, but Buck’s hand is on his forehead the whole time. 
“Don’t sleep,” Buck says more than once.
Eddie tries. He tries so hard. “Just a little—”
“Eddie,” but Eddie can feel the tug of sleep taking him over. 
-----
Buck’s hands are shaking. 
“Hey,” Hen says, resting a hand on his thigh. “You need a coffee?”
“No,” Buck says immediately. He’s staring down at his sneakers. They’re covered in blood. Eddie’s blood. Like his hands—he’s tried cleaning them—like his shirt, his everything. “How long—”
Buck’s phone cuts through the silence, Chris’ familiar ringtone drifting out of his pocket. A couple of people glare at him, but Buck ignores them, grits his teeth as he answers. “Hey, buddy.”
“Buck,” Chris says, sounding scared. “Abuela said Daddy—”
“He’s hurt,” Buck says, not wanting to scare Chris more than he has to, but he’s not lying. “I’m in the hospital right now, okay?”
A pause. “Can you come home?”
Buck closes his eyes, pinches the bridge of his nose. Home, like he lives there. Like there’s not been a steady distance building between him and them for weeks. “I need to be here for your dad, alright? As soon as I know anything, I promise I’ll FaceTime, okay?”
“Okay,” Chris says quickly, which means he knew. “You’ll hold his hand?”
Ana will, Buck thinks viciously. Out loud he says, “Both of them. For me and you.”
Chris doesn’t stay much longer; Isabel takes the phone. 
“I’m sorry,” Buck starts. 
“Don’t be silly,” Isabel says, in the way only she can. “Eddie is strong. He will come back to his family.”
“Yeah,” Buck breathes. 
Isabel makes a frustrated noise. “To you.”
“I don’t think,” Buck starts. 
“To you,” Isabel says again and hangs up. 
Staring at his phone, Buck wonders if Isabel knows about Ana. She must? Eddie’s not the kind of guy to not tell his family and he’s met Ana, so surely—
“Buck,” Hen says, tapping his leg. 
He looks up, sees the doctor walking towards them and abruptly realises they need someone here, Isabel or Pepa, he should have kept them on the phone. He realises, with growing dread, that Ana might be Eddie’s emergency contact. 
“Is there a Mr. Buckley here?”
Buck startles, almost drops his phone. Hen and Bobby share a look. “I’m Buck. Uh, Mr. Buckley.”
The doctor nods, approaches. “Is it okay to have a private word, Mr. Buckley?”
“You can,” Buck starts, frowns, doesn’t know what to say. He looks pleadingly at Bobby. 
“I’m sorry,” the doctor says, with a sense of urgency and patience that Buck doesn’t think he could ever master. “You are Mr. Diaz’s agent, are you not?”
Buck almost says no, but he’s too surprised, too shocked to do anything but stare. Hen pinches his thigh and he nods in reaction, says, “yeah.”
“Good,” the doctor says. “We’re about to take Mr. Diaz into surgery to treat the pericardial tamponade. I need to confirm whether there’s a DNR in place?”
Buck doesn’t know. 
“I,” Buck starts. He thinks, tries to recall Eddie ever saying—
"I don’t have a DNR,” Buck says. “Do you?”
“Are you kidding?” Eddie snorts, nods at Chris. “Neither of us is allowed to go anywhere, Buckley.”
—“No,” Buck says. “Please, he doesn’t wanna die.”
“Alright,” the doctor says. He says something else, something Hen and Bobby are listening too, squeezes Buck’s arm and disappears.
“What’s a pericardial tamponade?” Buck asks, he knows, but he needs them to say it. 
Hen doesn’t look at him. 
“Compression of the heart,” Bobby says instead, approaches slowly. 
Buck’s glad of that a moment later when his legs almost give out.
“Easy,” Bobby says, lowering him into a chair. “Breathe, Buck.”
“Why am I,” he gasps out. “He made me his POA, and I can’t—”
“Of course you,” Bobby says carefully. He squeezes Buck’s hand and Buck squeezes back, probably too hard, but he needs something to ground him. Eddie’s got a fucking heart compression and Buck knows that’s bad, so bad, but he can’t—
“Bobby.”
“Listen to me,” Bobby says. “Of course it’s you. That man loves you—”
“Don’t,” Buck says. “Please. I know you mean well, but Ana.”
There’s a silence Buck can’t explain. 
Hen sits down next to him, looking concerned. “Buck, Eddie broke up with Ana this morning. He didn’t tell you he was going to?”
“No,” Buck says, unable to comprehend. They didn’t speak that morning because Buck’s phone went off and he was with Taylor and they’d gone for coffee. “I’m gonna throw up.”
Someone moves something close and Buck throws up, feels guilt and horror well up in his stomach. Eddie’s in surgery, a doctor asking about resuscitation, and Buck didn’t know he’d broken up with Ana because he was celebrating Taylor’s promotion. 
_____
Numb.
There’s a steady beeping in his ear (hospital) and a rustle of sheets (his own?)
He tries to open his eyes. Nothing. Making a noise of frustration, he tries again. 
“Hey,” someone says in his ear. “Eddie, you can do it.”
Something is clogging his throat and he can’t speak, it hurts, something thick and it hurts. 
Someone says something, but his chest is tight, his panic palpable and then nothing.
When he next wakes, his throat hurts but he can breathe. He wants to sob with relief. This time, he can open his eyes. The lights are too much and he abruptly shuts them, makes a noise in the back of his throat, and shifts. 
“They’re off,” someone says quietly, and he feels a hand in his hair. “You wanna open them again for me?”
Eddie wants to say no but his mouth won’t cooperate so he makes a noise. 
“Please?”
The voice is trembling. Afraid? Eddie doesn’t want anyone to be afraid. He cracks open his eyes, grateful when the lights are off. He turns, ignoring the floaty feeling in his head, his body. 
Buck. 
“Buck,” Eddie croaks. His throat hurts. Buck must realise, because he holds out an ice chip. Eddie takes it, sucks on it gratefully, but can’t look away from Buck. He looks exhausted, a cut on his forehead, and his clothes look rumpled and bloodstained. “Okay?”
“Fuck,” Buck mutters, letting out a watery laugh. “Of course you’re asking if I’m okay.”
Eddie doesn’t know what that means. “Awake before,” he manages, before Buck’s shoving another ice chip at him. 
“Slowly,” Buck admonishes. “I need to alert the doctor.”
“Stay,” Eddie says, sudddenly panicked. 
Buck abruptly moves, puts his hand in Eddie’s hair. “I’m not leaving. Just pushing a button, okay?” Eddie nods and Buck does so, but he doesn’t move away. “God, you scared me.”
“Sorry,” Eddie says. Then, “woke up before.”
“I know,” Buck winces. “They intubated but didn’t know you were gonna wake up so soon. They had knock you out so they could take out the tube.”
Eddie tries to focus on that, but the words drift away like smoke.
“You had a cardiac tamponade,” Buck continues, as if he can’t see Eddie’s confusion. “They weren’t sure you’d be safe to consciously handle—”
The doctor interrupts him, striding in and taking over.
Eddie tries to focus, to pay attention to what the doctor’s saying, doing, but he just clings to Buck, hopes Buck’s paying attention. 
“I got it,” Buck whispers in his ear. “You can rest if you need to, okay?”
“Stay?” Eddie says, scared.
Buck leans down, kisses Eddie’s forehead. “I’m never leaving you.”
Eddie falls asleep with those comforting words in his ear. 
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clusterbuck · 3 years
Text
wishing, wanting, yours for the taking
(1.8k, rated T, complete. vampire!buck au.) read it on ao3
@911week day 3: "whatever you do, please don't look." + hurt
Eddie sits in the parking lot outside Buck’s apartment for a long time, trying to decide whether or not to go in.
He wouldn’t even have to think about it, most of the time, would just walk right in. He has a key, after all. But their last call had been rough, and Buck had been quiet and withdrawn for the rest of the shift. Eddie had asked if he wanted to come over, but Buck had said he’d needed time alone.
That had set off the first alarm bells.
The next ones had come moments later, when he’d overheard Chimney and Hen talking about the fall Buck had taken, how they could have sworn he’d been impaled on the rebar sticking out of the floor of the abandoned apartment building.
“Trust me, I know my rebar injuries,” Chimney had said, and Hen had elbowed him, the way parents do when their kids say something inappropriate.
But Buck had gotten up and walked out of the building, which isn’t something people tend to do after being impaled by rebar, so Chim and Hen had let it go.
Eddie, however, knows better. At least he thinks he does. He doesn’t know how all of it works, exactly, but there is a very real chance Buck could, actually, be impaled by rebar and walk away. He’s just a little worried about the aftermath.
So now he’s in his truck wrestling with the fact that Buck had wanted to be alone, but every instinct Eddie’s ever had is telling him that he should probably check up on Buck anyway.
He gets out of the car.
Buck’s door is locked, but Eddie lets himself in with his key. None of the lights are on, and he doesn’t see Buck, which must mean he’s upstairs.
Eddie stands in the entryway and listens for a second, but the only sounds are his own breathing and the keys in his hand. He starts up the stairs, calling out for Buck as he goes.
“What—Eddie?” he hears, Buck’s voice somewhere between a mumble and a groan.
“Yeah, it’s me.”
“Don’t—” Buck says, and groans again, swallowing the rest of whatever that sentence was going to be.
Eddie reaches the top of the stairs and sees Buck in his bed, mostly hidden under a blanket. The sheets look bloody, and there are torn pieces of plastic littering the ground. They’re bloody too.
“Eddie, don’t—” Buck says again, and pulls the blanket further over his head. “Just—whatever you do, please don’t look.”
But Eddie doesn’t turn away. He doesn’t know how to not look at Buck.
Instead, he crosses the room and sits on the bed, somewhere in the vicinity of where Buck’s waist is under the blanket. He reaches for the top of the blanket and tries to pull it down, but Buck’s grip is surprisingly firm for someone who got impaled by rebar less than two hours ago.
Eddie isn’t surprised.
“Buck,” he says, channeling the gentle but firm tone he uses on Christopher when he’s being difficult. “I know you’re hurt. Let me look at you.”
“I’m not—”
“Don’t even try it, Buck,” Eddie says, and pulls the blanket back.
Buck doesn’t look good. He’s paler than usual, almost chalky, and his hair is sticking in every direction. There’s blood smeared around his mouth.
“You can’t be here,” Buck mumbles. “I’m—”
“Hurt,” Eddie supplies. “You need help.”
“No, I mean…” Buck trails off and takes a deep breath, then shudders, like it’s hurting him. “I’m—” Either he can’t say it, or he doesn’t want to, because all Buck does is open his mouth and let his fangs slide out.
“A vampire,” Eddie says. “I know. Now will you let me take a look at you?”
But Buck is frozen in place, staring wide-eyed at Eddie. “You—you know?”
“Christopher has been really into the supernatural,” Eddie says, matter-of-fact, as he pulls down the blanket. “I put it together.”
“Why didn’t you say anything?”
“You weren’t harming anyone,” Eddie says, and gestures to the torn-up blood bags littering the floor. “I figured you’d tell me in your own time.” He moves Buck’s shirt aside and runs his hands over his torso, searching for the wound. In any other situation he’d be taking his time, cataloguing every inch of skin stretching across Buck’s stomach, but he isn’t clear on exactly how Buck’s healing situation works. He doesn’t know how much time he has.
He finds the wound on Buck’s left side. It looks like the rebar went clean through him, and from the placement, Eddie estimates it might have hit his spleen, maybe the large intestine.
“You’re telling me you got up and walked away after this?” Eddie asks, and he can’t tell if he’s annoyed or impressed.
“I thought it would heal,” Buck says, gasping a little when Eddie probes the exit wound at his back. “And I—ah—I couldn’t risk them taking me to the hospital again. I think they’re starting to get suspicious.”
“Why isn’t it healing?” Eddie asks, running through options in his head. He knows what he’d do if Buck was human, but he’s pretty sure none of that applies here.
“Rebar is steel,” Buck says. “Steel is mostly iron, and iron is a big no-no.”
“Why is that?” Eddie asks, momentarily distracted by the realisation of how much he doesn’t know about Buck and his… condition? Species?
“Can we do the whole walking vampire encyclopaedia bit later?” Buck groans.
“Right, sorry. So… the iron is blocking your natural healing?”
“I think so, yeah.” Buck gestures weakly at the blood bags. “I haven’t fed in a while, so I thought it would help, but…”
“Does the bagged blood usually work?”
“For feeding, yeah, but it’s not as—I don’t know the technical terms, but it’s not as—potent, I guess? They freeze it for storage, I guess that does something.”
“Okay,” Eddie says, and starts unbuttoning his shirt.
“What—what are you doing?” Buck asks.
“Is my neck okay? I don’t—I’m not too familiar with vampire lore, but a vein’s a vein, right?” And part of Eddie thinks it should feel weirder, negotiating where to let his vampire best friend drink from him, but—it’s Buck. If there’s something he wouldn’t do for Buck, he hasn’t encountered it yet.
“Eddie, you can’t—I can’t—”
“Yes, you can,” Eddie says, and he reaches for Buck, helps him sit up and scoots closer so Buck can reach his neck. “You need help, so shut up and let me help you.”
Eddie doesn’t know how to say take me, take all of me, there’s no part of me that isn’t already yours. But this part he can do: he can offer up this part of himself, let his blood heal Buck.
“But—” Buck tries to argue, even as his fangs slide out again, and he leans closer, like he’s drawn in by the beat of Eddie’s pulse beneath his skin.
“But nothing,” Eddie says, and cups the back of Buck’s neck, pulling him closer until Buck is cradled against his chest, his face buried in Eddie’s neck.
There’s a moment where nothing happens, then Eddie feels twin pricks on the skin of his neck, and a strange kind of pressure as the blood starts flowing. Buck’s cool lips against his skin send shivers down his spine, and if he closes his eyes he can imagine Buck’s lips on him in a different situation, one where they’re doing this because they both want to and not because Buck might die otherwise and Eddie is pathetic enough to take advantage of it.
He still has a hand on the back of Buck’s neck and he slides it into Buck’s hair, holding him close. After a moment, Buck starts moving, like life is slowly flowing back into him. He lifts one hand to the other side of Eddie’s neck, and Eddie knows Buck is probably just trying to keep him steady, but there’s something infinitely tender about the way Buck’s fingertips tickle the back of his neck.
Buck’s other hand goes to his waist, his fist clenching in the fabric of his shirt.
It’s more intimate than it has any right to be, for a random Wednesday afternoon in July. It’s not even dark out, and lazy rays of sunlight filter in through the crack in Buck’s curtains.
Eddie wants to live in this moment forever.
Finally, Buck pulls away. There’s fresh blood around his mouth, stark against the dried rust-coloured stains from earlier. He ducks his head, looking away like he’s embarrassed, and before Eddie knows what he’s doing he reaches out and grabs Buck’s chin.
“Don’t go weird on me now,” he murmurs, swiping at some of the blood with his thumb.
“Is this really your threshold for weird?” Buck asks.
“All of this is weird,” Eddie admits. “But—Buck, I came here knowing exactly what you are, and I came to help you anyway. You don’t need to hide it from me, any of it.”
“What am I?” Buck asks, like this is the part of Eddie’s sentence that he’s stuck on.
“You’re Buck,” Eddie says, because in the end, that’s all that matters. “And, okay, I have some questions, but they can wait. It’s okay. I’m not going anywhere.”
Eddie’s pretty sure that every word he’s saying is telegraphing every single thing he feels, but if Buck picks up on it, he doesn’t say anything. Which is fair, Eddie thinks—Buck’s been through a lot today.
Besides, to the extent that he’s ever planned on telling Buck how he feels, it’s never taken place minutes after he saved Buck’s life. If they ever do have that conversation, Eddie wants to be sure that Buck isn’t being influenced by anything else, like the fact that Eddie knows he’s a vampire, or that Eddie just saved his life.
It’s not that he thinks that conversation is going to happen. Nothing Buck has done has ever suggested it would. But a guy can dream.
Buck is silent, and the longer he doesn’t speak, the heavier the moment grows. Eddie knows what it looks like when Buck is about to spiral over something that isn’t worth spiralling over, so he says the first thing he can think of.
“Okay, I do have one urgent question.”
“Yeah?” Buck asks, and when he looks up he’s a little wary, like he’s worried about what Eddie’s going to ask.
“I saw you take down, like, an entire loaf of garlic bread at the station last week. Shouldn’t that have killed you?”
“God,” Buck grumbles. “Don’t believe everything you read.”
“Wait, you can say god?”
“It’s—” Buck starts, then cuts himself off. “No, you know what, if we’re gonna do Vampire 101, I’m gonna take a shower first.” And Buck’s grumbling, but Eddie sees him smiling as he heads into the bathroom, and he thinks they’re going to be okay.
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princessfbi · 3 years
Note
evan “buck” buckley PLEASE N THANKS
My beloved...
Evan “Buck” Buckley
How I feel about this character
*clears throat*
I LOVE HIM YOUR HONOR! I love Oliver’s subtle acting choices. I love how Buck is a perfect vehicle to combat the infestation of toxic masculinity in today’s media. I’ve loved him since day one when he walked up to that loft and ate an entire stalk of broccoli while getting yelled at by Bobby. I loved him at the first smirk when I said, “Oh okay. You have issues and I am here for it.” I love his growth. I love his journey. I loved Buck Begins. I love his baggage. I love his faults. I love his strengths. I love how his faults and strengths aren’t mutually exclusive. I love him. I love him. I loveeeee him. 
All the people I ship romantically with this character
Eddie for number one. But even if Buddie doesn’t happen I would love to see Bi!Buck in general. But you know what? They’ve really also sold me on the Buck/Taylor thing. I don’t think I would like them to be endgame because I would rather have two different (straight presenting at least) gender besties that doesn’t end in romance but I’d be okay with going on a little FWB journey or just Buck and Taylor being chaotic besties. 
My non-romantic OTP for this character
Here’s my take on his relationships with Maddie and Hen. 
Now, let’s talk about Chimney. Buck and Chimney’s relationship from “hey, yo rebar head” and Chimney’s almost dismissiveness of Buck to that scene in the locker room in Buck Begins where Chimney is almost in complete agony over not only Maddie hurting but Buck as well? UGH! Because Chimney gets both their sides. He gets the pain. He gets the resentment and feelings of abandonment. He gets Maddie and Buck better than their own parents. And he had to sit and watch how Marge and Phil treated both of them. He had the dots and he got a front row seat to those dots being connected. I just.... UGH. I love their relationship so much. 
We’ve already been gifted with so much Buck and Chim content this season but it just shows how far they’ve come. 
My unpopular opinion about this character
I don’t think Buck was wrong to do the lawsuit. Sorry? I think it was ridiculous because there’s literally the union and everything that he could’ve gone to, to deal with it but I don’t think his reasonings behind going were wrong. Coming from a home that Buck did where you are a victim of emotional neglect, you don’t develop foundational building blocks that are necessary for decision making. I don’t think Buck ever truly knew how to speak up for himself or defend himself. I think Maddie did that for him growing up and then I think once she left, he was stuck with his parents who either ignored him or tore him down. Buck isn’t his best advocate. That doesn’t mean he’s a victim. In fact, he’s the opposite. He doesn’t see himself as a victim because his parents always invalidated him. Buck doesn’t think he’s allowed to be a victim (hence why he was so quick to move from his leg, the tsunami, the way his parents treated him) but trauma is trauma. It doesn’t matter what kind of house you live in or where you grew up or how much money you have or what gender you are. The hardest thing to do though, is to validate your own self and recognize that something needs to change. Buck was struggling to get his own sense of control back. In Buck’s mind, he went through this trauma (an event he had no control over), he worked hard to come back (something he did have control over), only to be set back once again by something he had no control over again. Only this time it was different because this time his sense of control was taken away by someone he knew and trusted. 
Was the lawsuit stupid? Yes. Was Buck’s reasoning wrong? No. 
Buck is constantly faced with a double standard in regards to his actions and he’s only just learning how to be his own defender in his late twenties through therapy. Take for example when he said to Taylor in the hallway “Hey, I’m likable.” That wasn’t Buck being delusional. That was Buck using a tool from therapy to be his own advocate and in that case, it didn’t work, which happens. 
But the important thing to remember is that he’s trying. 
A bad decision does not invalidate the real feelings behind it. 
One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.
Bi!Buck but also I would like to see Buck recognizing that even though he wants to work things out with his parents, I would like him to realize that sometimes that just doesn’t work out. I think Margaret has had too much resentment for too long in regards to her kids and it shouldn’t be on Buck or Maddie to change that for her. If your children’s lives being threatened wasn’t enough for you to come around then therapy isn’t going to do much either. 
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Give Me A Character and I’ll Break Them Down
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datleggy · 3 years
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Totally random thought I had right as I am going to bed but ya know that show "I didn't know I was pregnant"? Buck would be on that show lol the boy is oblivious when it comes to his own body, so like I can perfectly picture him collapsing on the job one day wracked with pain, and then Hen is poking around his stomach where it hurts, her, Buck and Eddie packed into the back of the ambulance as Chim and Bobby drive to the hospital, and she gets out the stethoscope to try and listen for internal bleeding or anything but instead finds an infant heartrate and she's like "Buck, you're pregnant?" And he's like "uh, no? What the hell?" And then his water breaks and he tries to convince hen and Eddie that he had an accident bc even that would be a better alternative to suddenly figuring out he's about to have a baby???? What the fuck???? But Eddie holds his hand all the way through it and by the time they get to the hospital, Buck has a healthy newborn cradled against his chest, Eddie knelt beside him and alternating between kissing buck and the baby on the head, and observing the baby in disbelief. I can also picture Buck like, sobbing his sorry's to Eddie the entire time he's pushing, like "Eddie I swear I had no idea, if I had known, I would have told you!" And Eddie is just reassuring him the entire time like "don't worry about that now, Buck, just concentrate. No one is mad, okay? But you gotta focus on the- on the baby" and buck just sobs and nods and focuses on the delivery again. But for a good while Buck is in denial that any of this is happening and it takes a lot of convincing and encouragement from both hen and Eddie for him to start actively participating in his baby's birth. Anyways, random half asleep thought is finished sorry for the long ask hdshsjjsjdbsjsj
WELL SHIT ok so i actually love that show and i could see buck doing this lmao so i wrote a thing. also ignore all medical inaccuracies, this is my distraction from monday lmao let me have this wildly inept fic pls. 
also just in case, it’s pretty brief, i think, but TW for talk of weight and weight gain
It's nearing the end of their shift now and Buck can almost hear his feet howling at him in pain. Today hadn't even really been all that busy, he thinks, annoyed at his own body's betrayal. He's not even thirty yet, but in the last couple of months he's felt as though he's aged about ten years.
He's put on a few pounds, which isn't too uncommon, sometimes Buck goes through stretches of time where he eats more carbs than he needs and works out less than he'd like and so a little tummy fat is to be expected.
It normally doesn't bother him, except that in the last maybe three months he hasn't felt like exercising much outside of work but he's eaten nearly everything in sight every night. He's up about fifteen pounds, which he wouldn't have even noticed, seeing that he does fluctuate at times anywhere between five to eight pounds over or under what he usually weighs, if it hadn't been for Chimney teasing him about putting down his third Krispy Kreme donut of the day and picking up a barbell earlier this morning.
Chim and Buck poke fun at each other all the time--it's a staple in their friendship and brother ship, in fact--and Buck had flipped him the bird, nothing new there. What had been new was the fact that he'd excused himself to the bathroom right after that and locked himself in a stall and bawled his eyes out as quietly as humanly possible.
Buck grimaces, embarrassed still, by the outburst, even if no one had been there to witness it. He still has no idea what the hell that had been about this morning.
Eddie notices the sour mood and pulls him in close. "Hey, you ok?"
Buck nods. "Yeah, just tired. Ready to go home--shit." Buck feels a shooting pain so intense his knees buckle and Eddie has to hold him upright to keep him from hitting the floor. 
“Woah!” Eddie calls Bobby over, who’s closest, for help, “Buck? Buck, you with me? What’s wrong? What hurts?” 
Buck just shakes his head and grits his teeth, the pain so debilitating he can hardly breathe much less speak. 
The Captain is on his other side in an instant and together Eddie and Bobby help Buck towards the couch, where he collapses in a heap, throwing his head back and letting out an agonized whine. “What’s going on? Did he get hurt during one of the calls?” Bobby asks Eddie, frantic to help put a stop to this. 
Eddie’s helpless, “Bobby I don’t know, one second we were talking about going home and the next he practically fell to the floor in pain.” he turns to face his husband, “Baby, I’m here, look at me, what’s the matter? What hurts?” 
Buck’s face scrunches up and he finally exhales sharply, his grip on the couch cushions loosening, and he opens his eyes, wide like saucers, and says, “What the fuck was that?” 
At this point Hen and Chim, as well as half the crew, have gathered around and Hen is quick to put on her doctors hat and try to sus out the problem. She makes Bobby step aside and Chimney hands her a stethoscope. “Buck, is it your stomach?” she asks, noticing the stiff way he’s holding himself around his midriff. 
“I don’t--kinda? I don’t know. It was just like, this crazy wave of pain, almost like a cramp, but way worse.” he struggles to describe the feeling now that it’s more or less passed for the time being.  
Hen had seen Buck wince when he’d been in the harness on the last call of the day, but he hadn’t said anything and she hadn’t thought too much about it until now. “Did you hurt yourself in the harness earlier? Maybe pulled something when we reeled you back up?” she asks, palpitating his stomach with her fingers, watching him almost retract from her touch. 
“Maybe?” Buck shrugs uncomfortably, wincing when she hits a particularly sore spot. 
Something about this feels familiar and strangely obvious, but Hen doesn’t understand why until she puts her stethoscope up to his belly to check for lack of bowel sounds, indicating maybe some internal bleeding or sorts. 
Hen gasps out loud and sits up like she’s been smacked. 
Eddie frowns. “What? What’s wrong? Is he gonna be ok?” He almost wants to snatch the damn stethoscope out of her ears and check for himself, his eyes darting between Hen and Buck nervously. 
“Buck, you’re pregnant. And in labor, by the sounds of it.” Hen blurts out in disbelief. 
“What.” Buck blinks at her, waiting for the other shoe to drop. This has to be a joke. 
“I heard a heartbeat in there...” Hen informs them, still awed. “Buck, that was a contraction you just experienced.” 
Eddie gapes at Hen and then at Buck. “You’re pregnant?” 
Buck gapes right back at him. “No!” he denies, shaking his head incredulously. “That’s insane, I can’t be pregn--ah--” Buck leans forward in pain as another contraction begins. “Fuck.” 
“Jesus, yeah, no you’re definitely pregnant,” Chim announces, “Your water just broke all over my favorite couch, bud. I’m getting the ambulance ready asap.” he says, before running to do just that, head reeling. He thinks about Maddie and when she gave birth to their daughter and how scared out of his mind he’d been and he sympathizes for Buck and Eddie, who up until now apparently hadn’t even realizes they were expecting... 
Back at the lounge Buck continues to deny any of this is even happening. He whines into Eddie’s chest, “That’s pee, it has to be, because I’m not pregnant. There’s no way.” he lets out a pitiful whimper as another contraction begins and buries his face against his husband to hide the tears springing up in his eyes. 
“Buck, son, we gotta get you to a hospital right now.” Bobby tries, running a soothing hand over the top of his head. 
But Buck shakes his head no, shuddering out a sob. “M’not going.” 
Eddie, overwhelmed, looks to Hen and Bobby for help. 
“Buck, ambulance is ready to go, we need to move unless you wanna have this kid at the firehouse.” Hen grimaces. “I know you’re in pain and I know you’re confused and hurting, but we need to get you into that ambulance and now.” 
Buck cries out when another contraction hits him and Hen gulps. “Your contractions are getting way too close together, we need to move.” she nods at her Captain and Eddie to help get Buck up and together the three of them manage to get Buck onto a gurney and into the waiting ambulance.
Bobby rides up front with Chimney, leaving Hen and Eddie to work in the back with Buck. 
“Buck, you need to start getting ready to push, this baby’s coming.” Hen warns him, but Buck refuses. 
“I can’t.” he sobs. “I didn’t--” he throws his head back, the pain lighting his nerves on fire. “I swear Eddie, I didn’t know. You gotta believe me.”
Eddie takes Bucks hand into his and brings it up to his lips. “I know baby, I know, you don’t have to worry about that. I promise. Nobody is mad at you, ok? I’m not. But right now you need to focus on pushing, you need to listen to Hen, ok? We’re ok, and you’re gonna be ok, but I need you to push, baby. I love you so much, you know that, right?” 
Buck lets Eddie wipe away his tears, leans into the comforting touch, and nods shakily, exhaling. “O-ok, I’m--I’m ready.” 
.
.
.
**************
.
.
.
The baby is so very tiny in Eddie’s arms. 
Olive Buckley-Diaz is born weighing exactly six pounds and two ounces. 
Christopher, who’s curled up against Bucks side on the hospital bed after a very exhausting day, looks up at his Buck, his little brow still knitted in confusion. “So she was a surprise baby? And that’s how come you guys didn’t tell me about her?” 
Buck tries not to laugh. “Yeah bud, it was a huge surprise to us, too.” 
Eddie nods along, smiling fondly down at the bundle he’s holding. Her blotchy red face is slack in sleep and there’s already tufts of brown hair sticking up funnily on her head under her hat. “I still can’t believe you only gained like fifteen pounds during the whole pregnancy.” Eddie chuckles, “Or that you worked through the nine months, God Buck, when I think of the stunts you pulled during calls in the last few months alone I’m--” he shudders. “Actually I’d rather not think about it.” he sighs, “I’m just happy you’re both healthy at the end of the day.” 
Really, it’s a miracle. The doctor had said as much after the delivery. 
“To be fair I never got any of the other symptoms,” Buck shrugs. “I wasn’t nauseous, my feet never swelled, I don’t remember any weird cravings? And you said it yourself, I didn’t really gain all that much weight.” 
Eddie leans down to kiss Buck’s forehead. “You should be on that show.” he grins. 
Buck tilts his head. 
“You know the one, the one Hen made us watch when work was slow that one time. ‘I didn’t know I was pregnant’.” he teases. 
Buck groans. “I regret all the jokes I made at the time. I totally get those people now. Pregnancy is weird.” 
Christopher rests his head more comfortably against Bucks chest and smiles softly. “Yeah, but now our family’s even bigger.” 
.
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blu-joons · 3 years
Text
You Teach English In Korea ~ BTS Reaction
Jin:
He smiled proudly as he walked downstairs to see you lost in planning your lessons for the week, the kitchen a mess as a result.
“Is it going well?” Jin asked, grabbing himself a snack in between his song writing. “You look like you’ve got a lot of things you want to do.”
“The course taught me it’s important to vary the things you do, which is what I want to do,” you sighed, “I just don’t know which to do.”
He sat himself down beside you, “why don’t I have a look? See which I think I would benefit from.”
Your head nodded, “perhaps that isn’t the worst idea in the world. I’ve got it all divided up into categories, so just tell me what you think.”
“I think one way or another you need to do all of these,” he spoke as he looked through them all, “they’re all really helpful for people learning the language.”
“What’s your favourite one though?” You challenged as he picked out a transcript, “you think that’s the one?”
“Definitely, all your students will love it.”
Yoongi:
It had all been going well on your first date, whilst you didn’t know much about the guy sat before you, something about him made you feel so comfortable.
“Do you mind if I ask what you do?” He questioned, taking a sip from his wine glass. “I’m guessing it was work that brought you to Korea.”
“I teach English in a school,” you replied, watching as his smile grew, “I studied to come to Korea to be able to help others learn my language.”
His head nodded, “that’s so cool, I bet all your pupils love you too, I’d love for my English to get better.”
You giggled lightly, “your English is just fine, although if you want a lesson or two, I’d be more than happy to help you, out of school hours, of course.”
“I’d be your star pupil,” he blushed, covering his cheeks with his hands, “sorry, I promise I’m not usually this much of a mess, you just seem so nice.”
“Thank you,” you responded, feeling your own cheeks darken, “for a first date in Korea, I’d say this is going pretty well.”
“I’d absolutely agree, it’s going very well.”
Hoseok:
The concentration on his face brought a smile to your own as you helped him through the exercise, you’d prepared to help him.
“Why is this so hard?” He cried out trying to complete the gap fill you’d given him to practice his tenses, “it’s like you want to torture me.”
“You’re the one that asked for help, I can’t make it easy for you,” you chuckled, checking over what he’d done so far. “You’re doing well.”
His eyes rolled, “I’m twenty-six I should be able to do things that your eight-year olds can.”
Your head shook, “my eight-year olds practice this every day, you’re not in school anymore to learn all of these things properly.”
“It makes me feel dumb,” he chuckled, quickly filling out the rest of the sheet to get it done with, “tell me how badly I did, make me feel even more stupid.”
“What would you say if I told you that you got it all right?” You challenged, scanning over his answers for mistakes.
“Well, at least I’m as smart as an eight-year old.”
Namjoon:
One thing that was certainly a benefit of a bilingual boyfriend was how he was able to help you with your own work too.
“Maybe they should listen to it in Korean first?” He proposed as you tried to figure out a listening task, “and then they can translate it.”
“I don’t have a Korean translation though,” you sighed, searching through your laptop, “how am I going to be able to sort it out at this time?”
His eyes widened, “you have a Korean boyfriend, who can also speak the Korean language pretty well.”
You smiled softly back at him, “it’s late and you’ve got an early start in the morning, I’ll just try and work with what I have for now.”
“Absolutely no way, set your microphone up and let me record it, it won’t take long and then I’ll go to sleep,” he assured you, refusing to move from his seat.
“Fine, but I really owe you one,” you smiled, setting everything up that you needed. “Think of all the kids you’re helping.”
“Exactly, who can say no to the kids.”
Jimin:
It had been a dreaded moment since you moved to Korea, the end of your contract, and the inevitable conversation with Jimin that came with it.
“How are we going to make long distance work?” He smiled, taking a seat in your now empty apartment, “I can’t not see you every day anymore.”
“They’ve let me go Chim, there’s nothing I can do. I’m not going to be homeless in a foreign country, it’s time to go home,” you smiled.
He frowned, “surely there’s got to be a way that you can stay, other schools are looking for teachers.”
Whilst he was right, it didn’t work for you, “I don’t have the money to afford a place, if the contract didn’t offer me accommodation I would never have come here.”
“What about if you move in with me?” He blurted out, staring hopefully across at you. “If you have a place to stay, it’ll be easy to find a new school to teach at.”
“Do you think it would work?” You questioned, to which his head nodded, “perhaps it wouldn’t be the worst idea.”
“It sounds like a perfect idea to me.”
Taehyung:
When you presented him with your lesson plan for the following day, you never expected to still be there two hours later.
“Is this the stuff you teach our children?” He teased, raising his arms up defensively. “Not even I can understand half of this.”
“That’s why I teach them, so by the end of the lesson they can do it,” you smiled, moving all your resources away from him across the table.
His brows furrowed, “why haven’t you taught me it? You’ve just sat and watched me struggle.”
You proudly nodded, “I can’t lie it’s been funny watching you struggle, but before you have a breakdown, I reckon it’s time to leave it.”
“I would have figured out the answers eventually,” he tried to argue, but you both knew that not to be true, “I’m glad I don’t actually have to do that.”
“Maybe one day I’ll teach you about it,” you told him, “when you’re less stressed and not so angry with it all.”
“I’m not angry, I knew all the answers really!”
Jungkook:
You never imagined setting up for your class that Jungkook would appear, desperate to try his own hand at what you’d come up with.
“Can you grab me some scissors from the cupboard?” He called out as he began to look through the matching activity you’d created.
“You sound just like my students,” you chuckled as you passed him the pair, “they’re always shouting me to do things too.”
His eyes rolled, “I’m busy learning, is this how you treat your students in the class?”
You sat yourself down beside him, “no, because my students are children, you’re just a needy boyfriend who can’t do things for himself.”
“That’s unfair,” he continued to whine, cutting out all the pieces of paper, “I can always send you back home if you continue to pick on me?”
“And how do you plan on doing that seeing as you’re not the one who employs me,” you laughed, watching as he paused for a moment.
“I’ll find a way, somehow.”
---
Masterlist
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eddiediaz-buckley · 2 years
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Post-Ep Thoughts: Ghost Stories
Honestly I do not even know where to start.
I am very confused and have many thoughts that I’m gonna try and piece together in a coherent manner under the cut.
EDIT: How I feel about an ep often changes as time passes, so do not be surprised if some of these views change in the coming weeks heh.
Addressing Inconsistencies
I guess I’ll start here?? Idk if this is even a proper heading, but I’m not sure what else to call it. After seeing a post from 911bts (not gonna tag them so they aren’t bothered lmao) I realized that yes, while some eps this season were absolutely produced in a different order than they would be aired purposely, the switch of Ghost Stories and Brawl in Cell Block 9-1-1 was definitely last minute due to unknown reasons. I’m not sure what they were trying to achieve, but whatever it was I’m not sure they achieved it.
I know that sometimes scenes that are in promos get cut for time. It happens. But in this case like half the promo scenes were not in the episode? The woman with the ghost roommate was mentioned in both the promo and the log lines and made absolutely no appearance, and Ravi was shown in the promo but did not appear at all in this ep. The beginning news scene with TK and the end part with Harry did appear, so that’s good at least?
Also
WHERE WAS EDDIE?
I know actors sometimes have to miss episodes. But Maddie is already not here, and there was BTS stuff dropped earlier today from this ep and Ryan was in some of the pics. Unless I’m crazy and those were from a different ep? But Eddie’s absence wasn’t explained at all, which sometimes can be realistic (like Hen and Eddie’s absence in The Taking of Dispatch 9-1-1 for example) but when Chim is already gone from the firehouse, his absence on shift not being explained is...weird.
Chimney is Unexpectedly Back!?
Okay before I go any further, I will start with the stuff I did enjoy. I, of course, LOVE seeing Chimney. Crazy to see how far he’s gotten across the country, but that’s def a trip he could’ve made in a week, making the scenes seem out of place since they should have happened, ya know, last week aka approximately a week after the events of 5x05.
It was an extremely pleasant surprise to see Eli. He is lovely and I’m sure it was really nice for Chimney to see a friendly face since it’s been just him and Jee-Yun for a while.
In the end, I cannot decide whether I like the placement of these scenes or not. On the one hand, they seem out of place because like I just mentioned, they were supposed to air last week. But at the same time it’s nice?? Because now we didn’t have to go quite as long without seeing Chimney (This is just an assumption that we aren’t going to see him in the next ep or two but honestly who knows, Brawl in Cell Block 9-1-1 airing first really threw me off).
Henren + Eva
Absolutely LOVED seeing Karen back on my screen, I missed her! I think all of Henren’s content this ep was extremely important and it was definitely my favorite aspect of the episode. While I don’t like Eva and probably never will, I am genuinely glad to see that she is clean and sober, and she definitely looks healthy and mostly content! I saw my sister go through drug addiction, so I completely understand that speaking to Hen was something she needed to do to forgive herself and continue healing, even if Hen didn’t forgive her yet.
While Karen’s initial distrust of Hen broke my heart, I also understand that too. Honestly, if it were me, I don’t think I would have gone back to my spouse after they cheated on me. So of course she’s going to have hesitancy and mistrust regarding Eva. But I’m so so glad she went to talk to Eva herself and realized that Eva wasn’t an obstacle in her and Hen’s relationship anymore, and that Hen has proven over the last few years that her life and love is with Karen and Denny, and that she isn’t going anywhere. I am so glad that Hen not only got some sort of closure with Eva, but so did Karen, and Henren will be stronger now because of it <3.
Thank God Harry is in Therapy
This part of the ep was another that seemed very out of place to me. The content itself I enjoyed, but I couldn’t get past the feeling that this was supposed to all happen last week.
I am glad that Harry is in therapy, and I hope that now that he’s basically confronted what happened to him head on, he can appreciate it’s value more. The therapist made an excellent point - he should not just pretend it never happened. Of course he just wants to stop thinking about it and move on but I think many of us know from experience that until you actually confront what happened to you, it’s hard to move past it. It’s so important to acknowledge your feelings and to talk about it with a trained professional so they can give you the tools to handle the feelings and work through them.
I was so happy to see that this experience (although slightly traumatic in and of itself and resulted in a minor injury) allowed Harry to process what had happened to him, and that he was finally ready to go home! Obviously Michael loves his son and will probably miss having him around, but I know he’s proud that Harry is finally dealing with his trauma and is starting to move forward.
One last note on this: I LOVE that Lou and Harry were able to talk about their shared trauma with their captor and kind of bond over that. I think it probably benefited both of them to be reminded that they’re not alone in this!
Taylor Kelly was Oddly Present?
I think most of you that follow me know by now that I am not a fan of TK. And even if I was, I still think her large presence in this episode was weirdly out of place based on her overall screentime in season 5 so far. She’s barely been in 5 whole minutes (sorry B I cannot remember the exact time right now but this is close right??) this whole season and now she gets maybe that amount of time in one ep? Huh??
I thought it was a little strange that her and Lou got a whole scene to themselves. They’re both recurring characters, and while scenes between just recurring characters has happened before, (I mean, we literally had one with Eva and Karen this ep) it was still just...weird. Honestly I do not know how to explain it past that. I do enjoy that Lou was being sassy towards her tho, like her being there is sus and definitely an ethical conflict, even if it wasn’t the one we wanted lmao.
And the ending we need to talk about obviously. She is absolutely hiding something (whatever the hell that article was about??) and with her being all “the truth is everything” and then making that weird face?? That’s gotta be what causes Buck to fear the relationship trouble in what will now be 5x09.
I hope we do not get super deep into a backstory with her or what not because honestly I don’t care. Just end the relationship and be done with it lol.
Conclusions
I didn’t hate the content of this episode but overall it did not seem cohesive and was just weird. Tim needs to stop trying to run two shows at once and just pick one. Sir, that’s too much work for one person, and we’ve already seen from the Law and Order universe that you can have two interconnected shows that are run by different people successfully (at least one of them is lmao).
Anyway, I’m clearly not getting any more school work done tonight, so come talk to me if you want!
Tagging @evaneddie as requested <3
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matan4il · 3 years
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Buddie 402 meta
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Let’s start with some Buck and how this ep is reminding us all along of his progress. Remember him at the start of season 1, rash and reckless and told off by Hen for solving everything by smashing things? Well, he still gets to smash things, but now we also see him cool, collected and resolving problems by figuring out awesome and smart solutions (the baby monitor feedback, the chimney). All this parallels his emotional progress, where he went from being the “dumbass kid” as Bobby refers to him in ep 101 to giving Chim advice on his relationship with Maddie from a mature place.
* * *
I loved the bit with the roommates and the feelings realization during lockdown together. A comical wink at what Buck and Eddie might have gone through if Eddie did quarantine at Buck’s before he went home to Chris? ;) IDK, but it’s a fun thought. *gasp* And they were roommates!
* * *
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I mentioned this in the 401 meta and I’m keeping up my promise to follow this, how Buddie are a team with preferred roles, infinite coordination and mutual reliance. Just one ep later, we have it again, down to Buck rappelling down a rope while Eddie holds him, even attaching the equipment on him instead of Buck doing it for himself, passing him the ax and being so in sync with him. Battle boyfriends!
* * *
Ok, I title these posts ‘Buddie meta’, focusing on anything related to Buck, Eddie, them as a ship and the characters/couples that parallel/connect to them, because that alone is way too many words already. But I have to mention the scene where Chim and Athena’s story arcs climax in intertwined cuts. Everything about that is amazing, not just the acting, but the editing, the music, the build up to how we get to this moment to make it so effective, even the way they managed to create two totally different scenarios that both culminate in the need to ‘push!’ It’s masterful. It’s the show telling us, ‘look at me, look at how well I know my craft, at how I build a story and its meanings and parallels, at how good I am when I do it.’ This is the show earning our trust and our love, proving that we’re not just wasting our time when we give it credit and invest time and thought into analyzing it.
* * *
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Chim isn’t paired up with Eddie in this ep, but I had to think about their parallels. Chim comes to see he’s been scared and that’s why he ran away, but he figured it out and came back to his child, just like Eddie did. But Chim came back to his kid and to Maddie, realizing it’s gonna be better if they’ll be scared together. Eddie returned to Chris, but how sad is it that at the end of the day, he didn’t have a partner to be scared with? When he was discharged, Shannon felt she had to go. And even later on, she didn’t feel she could stay and be with him, asking for a divorce. How wonderful would it be if in Buck, Eddie finally found a partner he could be scared together with? Because in practicality, that’s what’s been happening since 204, when Eddie was overwhelmed by and terrified of the bureaucratic system and Buck found a solution for him (Carla… don’t get me started about her speaking of invisible strings of love to Chris with Eddie right there, that scene was too sweet, and just think about the fact that it exists thanks to Buck), or another example of how Eddie went to Buck when he was scared about having let Chris down in ep 312 and Buck is there to listen, as well as to help with a solution. Just another reminder that in all ways but one, they truly and fully are partners.
* * *
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The mystery woman turned out to be a therapist, no surprise there. However, Buck’s exact words to her were a pleasant one, as was the way Oliver delivered the line. So I’ll step into speculation territory again (please don’t allow me to keep doing this). TBH, I actually don’t think this will immediately lead us to Buddie or a bi!Buck. I think this will first play out in the context of telling Maddie and his parents how he really feels when they will come into town. We already knew from 316 Buck sometimes holds back on some of the things he feels, like how it’s taken him years to tell Maddie about his feelings of loneliness and abandonment, so this falls in line and I do believe he will have to go through this family drama first to figure himself out. He will have a crisis, it’s not going to be easy to get through, but it will be so very important. But then, later on, I think the show might return to these words and build upon them as a parallel. Because if we are getting Buddie, then this is a slow burn. Gotta throw in a couple more obstacles first, like going through an identity crisis… those obstacles will only make the journey that much more worthwhile when we get to the final destination. And I do see over time more and more of a possibility this destination is that Buddie will be together canonically.
Thank you so much again to the incredible @bicepsie​ for doing the gifsets for this meta, I know that these are a lot of work and you get bombarded with my messages in what is in our time zone the small hours of the morning, when the ep had just finished airing, and you do it with love and so beautifully. I really feel like I can’t thank you enough, love! xoxox
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agustdakasuga · 4 years
Text
A Place Called Home | Chapter 12
Genre: Hybrid!AU, Poly!AU?, Soulmate AU, romance, fluff, humour
Pairing: OT7 x Reader
Characters: vet!reader, Arcticfox!Seokjin, Panther!Yoongi, Goldenretriever!Hoseok, Wolf!Namjoon, Calicocat!Jimin, Tiger!Taehyung, Rabbit!Jungkook
Summary: Having saved your own injured hybrid, you were determined to try and help any other hybrid that crossed your path who needed saving. But being a vet in a small hospital wasn’t enough for you. You wanted to do more, you wanted to make a difference. You wanted to give them a home.
Unlike Hoseok, Jungkook still hasn’t adjusted to life in your house with the other hybrids. You try your best and take small approaches to make him comfortable and trust you. 
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*bump*
*bump*
“Hoseok, I told you no playing with your tennis ball in the house.” You chuckled as you came out of the room. He had been obsessed with throwing it and chasing it around the house. Hoseok let out a whine, his head hanging low. You ruffled his hair. 
“Everyone ready to go?” You asked. 
“Can I-”
“Yes, Hoseok. You can bring your ball.” You giggled and he grinned. As he ran down the stairs, you couldn’t help but adore the way his golden brown ears flopped against his head. 
“Chim? You feeling alright?” You poked your head into his room. As per Dr Lee’s request, you have been slowly weening Jimin off his medications. It was good but that also meant that Jimin may experience some side effects or slight withdrawals so you have been keeping an eye on him. 
“I am.” He nodded with a small smile. Although he’s still shy and jumps at loud sounds or voices, he has been improving so much. 
“I know I tell you this all the time but I’m so proud of you, Chim.” You ran a hand through his hair. 
“Really? You’re proud of me?” 
“So proud. A small step is still a step, isn’t it?” You hugged him. He let out purrs of content as he hugged you back, his orange, black and white tail curling itself around you. 
“Let’s go.” You held his hand and led him out. The others were all waiting there. Today was going to be the first time they went to The Field, except for Jin and Yoongi. The boys could all sense how tired you were after your 20 hours shift yesterday but you assured them you were fine and insisted on going today. You wanted them to get some fresh air and run. 
Everyone climbed into the 8-seater van with you in the driver’s seat. Jin was in the passenger seat beside you. 
“Tomorrow, when I go to the nursery, I’ll pick up more fertiliser for our backyard.” Jin said and you nodded. The government had not retracted the hybrid rules yet so boys were still working in shorter shifts.
“We’re here.” You parked the car. 
“Woah!” Taehyung gasped at the big field that covered a few acres of land. You laughed and went to sign all of them in at the reception.
“Hey, Ann.” 
“Hey, (y/n). It’s been a while! I see that you now have an army with you.” She nodded over to your 7 hybrids. You laughed and nodded your head. After paying for everyone, she placed wristbands around all of your wrists and opened the door for you to enter. 
“I’ll be sitting here. Go ahead.” You told them. Hoseok was the first to take off, followed by Jungkook and Taehyung. 
“Go have fun. Yoongi will stay here with me.” You smiled at Namjoon and Jin. Beside you, Yoongi lazily raised a hand and nodded in confirmation.
“Alright. Stay warm.” Namjoon patted your head. They removed their jackets and ran to chase the others. Hybrids like Namjoon and Jin loved the cold since wolves and arctic foxes naturally live in cold climates.
“I guess it’s nap time.” Yoongi yawned, putting his head in your lap. You chuckled, shaking your head.
“Umm...” Jimin stood beside you. 
“Do you want to go too? Taehyung is there.” You asked him, looking at Taehyung, who was rolling around in the grass. 
“Can I stay here?” Jimin squeaked. 
“Of course you can.” You smiled, patting the empty space beside you. Jimin sat down and cuddled your side since Yoongi already claimed your lap as his pillow. You put an arm around him. It didn’t take long for Jimin to fall asleep with his head on your shoulder. With two hybrids so close to you, you didn’t even need extra jackets for warmth. 
You watched as the 5 hybrids chased after each other, rolling around in the grass happily. Jungkook had yet to warm up to you but you could see he was really enjoying himself. 
“Have some hot chocolate.” You gave the cups out to them as they came to take a break.
“Excuse me, miss?” Someone stood in front of you. You looked up at the stranger with a hybrid standing behind him with his head down. All 7 hybrids looked up at him as well.
“Yes?” You looked at him oddly. 
“Where did you buy your bunny hybrid?” He smiled. You frowned and noticed that Jungkook tensed up.
“I didn’t buy him.” 
“Ah... I see. Well, he is exactly the colour I’m looking for and I would love for him to be a present for my daughter. How much do you want for him? I can offer a lot. Is 1 million enough?” He reached out to pet Jungkook’s ears but you were quick to stand up in front of him, preventing the man from having any non-consented physical contact with Jungkook.
“He’s not for sale, sir.” You said warningly.
“I see that you have 6 other hybrids to care for. It must be hard supporting them yourself. I’ll take him off your hands. How about 2 million? Then you could use the money for your other hybrids.” He smiled.
“I don’t know if you’re deaf or dumb but I already said, he’s not for sale. I don’t need a stranger worrying if I can support my hybrids or not. That’s none of your business. They are all staying with me. I’m not giving them up for any amount in the world.” You crossed your arms.
“Now, there’s no need to be rude.” He frowned. 
“You were rude the moment you opened your mouth to speak to me. Now leave before I call security.” You threatened. 
“Let me tell you, little girl-”
“No, let me tell you, sir, that you really do not want to mess with me or my hybrids.” You cut him off. The male took a step towards you menacingly. 
“I would back away if I were you.” Namjoon finally stepped in, showing his canines. The man looked and saw your other hybrids. He knew he was outnumbered, even with his own hybrid next to him. Sending you a final glare, he stormed off with his hybrid. You glared at him, your whole body shaking with anger. Humans are just so ignorant and dumb.
“Easy, kitten.” Yoongi calmed you down.
“Hey, (y/n)! I ran over when my colleague told me what was going on. Is everything okay?” Ann ran over, worry written all over her face. 
“That guy harassed Jungkook.” You frowned. 
“I know. We kicked him out and banned him and his hybrid from coming back. I’m sorry that happened.” Ann sighed. You shook your head, knowing it wasn’t her fault. 
“We should go home.” Jin spoke. Everyone agreed and you piled into the van. Namjoon drove while Yoongi sat beside you, trying to keep you calm. You bit your lip, refusing to say anything. Everyone knew you were beyond pissed. 
Jungkook also remained quiet. He was dumbfounded by your actions. No one has ever defended him like that before and to see you so obviously affected by it made him surprised. Even when you pulled up, you stormed into the house, pacing around the living room. 
“(y/n), calm down. You’re scaring, Jimin.” Namjoon reminded. 
“I’m just so... Ugh!” You pulled your hair in frustration. Jimin let out a soft whine and you turned to him. 
“Sorry, Chim.” You apologised and went out to the backyard, stomping around. The 7 boys watched you in amusement. Yoongi couldn’t help but chuckle. The way you got angry never failed to amuse him and make him laugh. 
“How is she’s so adorable when she gets mad?” Jin raised an eyebrow. Yoongi and Namjoon nodded in agreement. 
“Tae.” Yoongi nodded over to your back. The younger saluted, walking over.
“(y/n).” Taehyung jumped towards you. 
“The audacity the guy had! I mean, who does he think he is? So what if he’s rich and can offer millions of dollars? Geez, I wanted to stomp his face into the ground. And did you see how he just wanted to pet Jungkook when he’s just a stranger? Who the hell does that?!” You continued to pace as you ranted. Taehyung sat on the bed, eyes following you back and forth. 
“I’m getting dizzy from your pacing.” Taehyung stated innocently, breaking your rant. You stopped walking and blinked at him
“Oh, sorry, Tae.” You chuckled. 
“Don’t be angry anymore.” Taehyung said. 
“You know, sometimes, I just think humans should be the one treated like pets, not hybrids. Humans should be leashed and be in shelters. Most of them just disgust me with their entitled attitudes.” You shook your head. 
“If that happens, the hyungs and I definitely adopt you! So you won’t have to be in a shelter.” Taehyung grinned. 
“Thanks, Taetae. Glad to know I won’t be abandoned.” You laughed. Taehyung was always sent out by your other hybrids to deal with your anger for a reason. His innocent personality and boxy smile was able to calm you down and make you forget your anger instantly. 
“We know that you’ll never give any of us up.” Taehyung said. 
“Of course, you’re my boys. All of you take up your own special place in my heart.” You cupped his cheeks. 
Just looking at Taehyung made tears fill up in your eyes. You couldn’t imagine your life without any of them. Even if Jungkook and Hoseok were not obligated to stay with you after the winter, they have still made an impact on you. 
“Why are you crying?!” Taehyung panicked, seeing tears trail down your cheeks. 
“Nothing. I just love all of you so much.” You smiled through your tears. Taehyung stood up, enveloping your body with his as his own tears threatened to fall. 
“We sent you out here to cheer her up, not make her cry.” Jin stood there, chuckling with an eyebrow raised. 
“Jagi, are you crying because you love us?” Jin gave you a knowing look. You nodded your head like a little child and Jin’s face showed just how used he was to this. He made you and Taehyung go back into the house, not wanting you to get sick from the cold weather You looked at all the hybrids, sending them a small smile.
“I’m going to rest. Please have dinner first if you’re hungry.” You yawned and headed up to your room. You took a shower first.
“What’s wrong with her?” Jungkook asked with a scoff.
“(y/n) gets angry when hybrids are disrespected. You could at least be grateful that she protected you today. When you’re not even her hybrid.” Taehyung frowned slightly. 
“I didn’t ask her to do that.” Jungkook snorted.
“Why would you say that?” Yoongi said in disbelief. He couldn’t believe how disrespectful Jungkook was.
“I’m not some weak damsel in distress. I don’t need her to come save me or protect me. She should have just minded her business.” Jungkook crossed her arms. Now that made Jin and Namjoon frown too. Hoseok gulped, knowing that Jungkook was crossing the line with his words. 
“If you’re so strong, why are you here the? Staying here and eating our food for free.” Jin crossed his arms. 
“Because my hyung is gullible enough to buy into your whole charade about how she’s the best human ever and that all of you are one big happy family!” Jungkook yelled. Jimin was already curled up into a ball on the ground, having an anxiety attack. 
“You do not yell in front of Jimin.” Yoongi pushed Jungkook back.
“I can do whatever the hell I want! I don’t need to listen to you.” Jungkook glared, his long ears twitching slightly.
“Then leave. You don’t like it here and honestly, we don’t want you here as well. You have been nothing but rude and cold. You can’t even appreciate what (y/n) is doing for you and your brother.” Jin growled.
“I think all of you need to go and cool down.” Namjoon stepped up into his alpha role. 
The slamming of the bedroom doors was what woke you up. You came downstairs to see all the hybrids tense, Taehyung sitting next to Jimin on the ground to calm him down as he has an anxiety attack.
“What the hell is going on here?” You frowned. 
“Jungkook, Yoongi hyung and Jin hyung...” Hoseok looked down then at the staircase where the three hybrids disappeared off to. That was when you knew that there was a fight. Fighting between the hybrids wasn’t something you tolerated in the house, especially with Jimin around.You decided to give Jungkook, Jin and Yoongi time to cool down before finding them.
“Come here, Chim.” You sat on the couch. Jimin immediately jumped up and leapt into your welcoming arms.
“Breathe, Chim. I’ve got you. Follow my breathing. It’s okay, take your time. In and out.” You ran your fingers through his hair with a soft smile. 
“Better?” You asked. He pressed his face into your shoulder but nodded nonetheless. As you continued to comfort Jimin, you looked to the 3 hybrids with you.
“Jungkook disrespected you. Jin hyung and Yoongi hyung got angry.” Taehyung explained briefly. You were surprised that Jin was involved too.
“Hoseok, get Jungkook down. Namjoon, get Yoongi and Jin down too.” You sighed and the two scrambled up. Yoongi and Jin came down but Hoseok relayed that Jungkook wan’t ready to do the same yet. Yoongi was stand offish, arms crossed with a small frown on his face. Jin was quiet but had his head lowered with guilt.
“I’m not going to say who was right and who is wrong but you guys should know better than to fight in front of Jimin.” You said. 
You knew that talking to Jungkook was going to be more difficult. Jungkook was still young and he was abandoned at such a young age with only his adopted older brother to be by his side.
“Sorry, (y/n). We shouldn’t have-”
“I’m not asking you to apologise to me.” You said. 
“Sorry, Chim. We shouldn’t have done that. We weren’t being considerate” Jin said softly. Yoongi nodded in agreement and patted his head. 
“It’s okay, hyungs. Sorry.” Jimin’s ears lowered in guilt.
“No, it was our faults. Don’t apologise when you did nothing wrong. That’s not a good habit to have.” Yoongi said, casting you a look. That was a bad habit of yours too and the boys never failed to remind you of it. You just looked elsewhere, whistling innocently. 
“I’ll go get started on dinner.” You stood up.
“I want to help!” Taehyung was quick to trail after you into the kitchen with Jimin by his side. The two were becoming inseparable and it was honestly quite adorable. 
“Hoseok, you’re not gullible, alright? Sorry you had to hear that from your brother. He doesn’t mean that and only said it in a fit of anger.” Namjoon told the golden retriever.
“It’s okay. I’m sorry Jungkook has been nothing but trouble since he has been here. In our previous house, he was always being babied and the favourite.” 
“Can we ask what happened with your previous owner?” Jin asked. 
“Sure. There was actually another border collie hybrid and tabby hybrid with us but our owner said they ran away the week before. But I heard the owners gave them to a shelter. I didn’t know why but didn’t ask. We were playing in the park one day and when we turned our backs, she ran off. Jungkook saw her get in a car and leave.” Hoseok bit his lip.
“We went back to the house only to find it abandoned. Our owner’s stuff was gone and we didn’t know where she went. There was no letter, no money, no nothing.” Hoseok shook his head.
“Was that why you were out that night?” Yoongi asked.
“Yeah, we usually take turns to go find food but as the oldest, I go out more often.” Hoseok nodded.
“I’m sorry that happened to the both of you and Jungkook is still so young.” Namjoon sighed. From the kitchen, you watched the 4 oldest hybrids of the house talk and converse comfortably. 
“Shall we make some hot chocolate?” You asked the two as you wiped your hands. Taehyung and Jimin blinked at you in confusion.
“Hot chocolate?” 
“Come on, you’re in for a treat.” You smiled as you took out the ingredients out to make hot chocolate. The two were in awe as they watched you blend the chocolate and hot milk together, topping it with whipped cream, chocolate shavings and marshmallows.
“Does Yoongi hyung not like hot chocolate?” Jimin asked.
“He does but most of the time, he prefers warm milk instead.” You patted his head and they helped you bring all the cups out. The stew for dinner was left to simmer on the stove before it was eaten.
“Yours.” You handed Yoongi his mug of plain, warm milk. 
“I’ll go deliver Jungkook his mug.” You went to his door and placed the mug on the ground. You knocked and left, not wanting him to feel awkward.
When you returned, you sat next to Jin. You reached up to rub his ears, something Jin has always liked since he started living with you. Everyone was chatting and interacting with one another, even Jimin was nodding along with the conversations. You couldn’t help but feel for Jungkook. He was alone upstairs while everyone else was here.
“Hoseok, is there anything Jungkook likes? Like what makes him happy.” You asked.
“Our owner used to get these Chicago style hotdogs from a cart stall. The guy opens at the farmer’s market across town.” He informed.
“If I bring you to that market, do you think you can bring me to that stall?” Your eyes brightened. Hoseok nodded his head with a smile. Yoongi frowned slightly. Jungkook didn’t deserve your efforts.
“Why do you want to do that for him?” Yoongi asked.
“Jungkook is just closed off because he’s in an unfamiliar environment. Let’s just try to be more understanding towards him. He was abandoned and he feels hurt by that, we can help him overcome it and open up without being forceful. Let’s just be patient.” You smiled.
“Thank you for helping him.” Hoseok teared up and hugged you. 
“He’s not going to show any appreciation for your efforts, (y/n).” Namjoon pointed out.
“That’s okay. He doesn’t have to like me or look to me as an owner. As long as he can live here comfortably without having to feel so guarded, I’m content.” You grinned. Taehyung moved to nuzzle against your neck.
“Hoseok, the next weekend, when the farmer’s market opens, shall we take a drive down?” You suggested.
“Can I come too?” Jimin tugged on your pant leg. 
“Of course you can.” You kissed the top of his head. When everyone was done with the hot chocolate, you went to serve up dinner. Taehyung and Yoongi stayed by your side to help with what they could. Jin and Hoseok took out the side dishes from the fridge. Namjoon and Jimin took the bowls and cutlery out. Yoongi started scooping the rice.
“Less rice for me.” You told him. When you said that, he purposely added another scoop. 
“Sorry, can you repeat what you said?” He looked at you, threatening to get another scoop from the rice cooker. You pouted and glared at him.
“Nothing.” You mumbled.
“That’s what I thought.” He smirked. You placed a portion of rice, spicy stew and side dishes on the tray for Jungkook. 
“Okay, this is where I step in. Sorry, snowflake, I know you said patience t he’s still not a king that needs to be waited on. You are not his servant. If he wants to eat, he will come down, alright?” Jin wrapped his hand around your wrist. The others, even Hoseok, nodded in agreement.
“Alright. Hoseok, please make sure he comes down to eat later. It’s not good to skip meals.” You told him.
“You’re one to talk.” Yoongi snorted.
“Yah, Min Yoongi. I can still cancel the shipment for that scratching post that you ordered online.” You threatened. Yoongi gave you a look.
“You wouldn’t dare.”
“Try me.” You smirked.
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Text
passing ships
Tumblr media
Evan Buckley x Eddie Diaz
Warnings: nothing, just being being idiots really 
Category: Angst 
Word Count: 2.6k
Author’s Note: Takes place right after Buck’s return after the lawsuit 
AO3 Link 
----
Silence. 
No bickering, no fighting and no stupid jokes. 
Pure deafening silence. 
The two were no longer speaking, although they had the clear to- he couldn't bring himself to forgive him, not yet and truthfully he didn’t know if he would ever be able to forgive him. 
After what he put the team through, what he caused them and what he did to them- to their relationship. 
Buck and Eddie sat on opposite ends of the station, the blond on the couch and the brunette in the kitchen. Both glancing at the other when the other isn’t looking, hoping they’d think of something to say to each other. 
Everyone can feel the tension, it hits whoever enters their vicinity like a brick wall. 
Eddie blew up at Buck the day in the grocery store and since then, neither of them had spoken to the other unless they were in the field. They worked seamlessly there. Wordless communication, in-sync as always yet the moment they step off the truck, all of that goes out the window and they go separate ways. 
Buck came close to talking to him one day while unpacking the halloween decoration. Eddie had walked past him, the urge to call for him and tell him that he was sorry but he didn’t. 
A part of him knew that Eddie would forgive him but another part of him felt that Eddie would still hold it against him somehow.
Buck didn’t know Eddie as well as he thought he did. 
Eddie’s pace was much slower than normal as he passed by, his heart pounding in his chest just waiting for Buck to call out to him and to fix what had broken but he didn’t. 
---- 
“Dad?” the boy called from the kitchen table, his father’s back to him.
Eddie was washing dishes, the sponge in his hand and the tap running but his eyes were fixated on something outside the window. Christopher gets up and walks over to his father, turning off the tap then Eddie looks down. “Oh sorry bud, did you ask me something?” he puts the sponge down and turns to his son. 
The look on Christopher’s face was enough for Eddie to internally groan, not because of Chris but because of what he was about to ask. 
“Where’s Buck?” 
And there it was. 
“Buck’s been busy bud” Eddie tells his son. This wasn't a complete lie, from the overheard conversations in the station, it seemed like Buck had been busy. 
“When is he coming over? We were supposed to have movie night” Chris sounded sad. Eddie knows how much Chris loves and looks up to Buck and for him not to be around was killing him.. because of Christopher of course. 
“I’ll ask him tomorrow,” Eddie leans and kisses the top of the boy’s head. 
“Bed now, I’ll come tuck you in, in a minute” Eddie smiles until he can no longer see Chris then a heavy sigh is let out. Chris isn’t the only one that misses Buck. 
He did too. 
Regardless of what had happened, Buck had been his best friend for the last year and a half. The person he confided in, the one who had his back and most importantly, the guy who was basically raising Christopher with him. It had been so hard not being able to talk to him those few weeks that the lawsuit was happening and now that they can talk, he doesn’t know what to say. 
Where do you begin after that ? 
What you did was fucked up and I hate you but I don’t because I actually love you and I need you in my life. 
Yeah, there was no way he was going to say that to Buck. The thought of Buck was pushed back when Chris shouted that he was waiting. He shook the worry from his face, mustering up a smile as he stepped into Chris’s room. 
“Alright kiddo, bedtime” Eddie pulls the blanket over his son, sitting on the bed beside him now. Chris looks up at his dad, “are you okay?”
“Hm?” Eddie’s brows furrow, unsure as to what brought up the question.
“Are you okay?” he asks his father again. 
“Yeah, why wouldn't I be?” he chuckles, his hand patting Christopher’s leg. 
“Okay” Chris smiles at his father, deep down he knew something was wrong and Eddie knew that his son knew that he wasn't okay but there wasn't time for that now. Eddie held himself together, he only had him and he had to be strong.
Eddie kisses Chris’s cheek, tucking the sides of the blanket in and turning on his night light. “Goodnight bud” he smiles from the doorway, about to shut the door. Chris calls out for his father once more and Eddie sticks his head back into the room, looking at Chris. 
“I love you” he says from bed. 
Eddie smiles, “I love you too.” the door shuts and his smile falls from his face. 
How much longer would he have to keep up this facade? 
When and how would they fix things? 
Because no part of Eddie wants to explain to Christopher why Buck isn't around anymore and honestly, Eddie doesn't want to lose him but he lacked the words to tell him exactly how he felt.
His room feels cold and empty, it usually is but this time feels like the house is running out of happiness and warmth and there’s nothing he could do to fix it. 
As he lays on his bed, his phone lights up. A notification from Chim, asking if he could help him move some furniture around. He answers and then he stares at the phone in his hand. 
“l’ll ask him tomorrow” his words rang in his head. He hits Buck’s contact- what to say and how to say it. 
To Buck: Are you free Saturday ? Chris wants to see you. 
Less than a minute goes by before his phone chimes. 
From Buck: I am. What time is okay for me to come over?
From Buck: Should I bring anything ? 
To Buck: I’ll drop him off at your place. I have something to do. 
From Buck: Okay. Is 6 okay ? 
To Buck: Fine. 
It was utter bullshit and they both knew that. Eddie had absolute nothing to do, in fact he was probably gonna go back home and hang out. It’ll be weird for him to be there when they aren’t speaking, hence why he's taking Chris to Buck and not letting him come to them because if they were at home, there would be nowhere for Eddie to avoid him. 
---- 
“Buck!” The little boy’s face lights up when he opens the door. 
“Chris!” Buck smiles with the same happy energy. The two of them hugging for a moment before Chris turns to say bye to Eddie. 
“Be good mijo, I'll be back later” Eddie kisses the top of his head before he walks off into the apartment. 
Buck looked at Eddie, his brows furrowed and he was chewing on his lip without even noticing. “You- You’re not coming in?” Buck asks quietly, his words barely coming out. 
Eddie shakes his head, “got stuff to do, text me when he’s ready to come home.” he hands Chris’s backpack over to him and turns the other way and down the hall. Buck steps out of the apartment, in the hallway in front of his door and he just watches Eddie leave. He wanted to run after him and tell him that he’s sorry but he doesn’t. 
The afternoon went by rather quickly, Buck and Chris catching up on what Chris had been doing at school, they began playing the new game Buck had gotten and they had pizza for dinner and ate on the couch while watching the sonic the hedgehog movie because Buck promised him that they would watch together.
Chris sat on the couch, his eyes glued to the tv screen until the end credits began rolling, then he yawns and sinks back into the pillows on Buck’s couch. 
“Tired?” Buck looks over at Chris who gives him a sleepy smile and nods. 
To Eddie: Chris is falling asleep, I think it’s time for him to get to bed
From Eddie: Ask him if he wants to spend the night. There are clothes in his bag
Buck was taken back by the message, not by Eddie suggesting that Chris spend the night because the 3 of them had sleepovers on a regular basis when he and Eddie were speaking but that Eddie was allowing him to stay. He assumed that because they weren't speaking that Eddie would want Chris to come home. 
“Bud, do you want to stay over? Dad said it’s cool” 
“Mhm, yeah” Chris’s eyes were shut, he was already halfway to dreamland by now. Buck smiled at the boy. 
To Eddie: He just fell asleep, you can pick him up around noon ? 
From Eddie: Okay
---- 
Saturday at 11:58am and Buck is dancing around his kitchen with a glass of orange juice in his hand. Chris had slept in and he made him breakfast. Buck was on his way to handing Chris the juice but he got caught up in the song that was playing. 
Christopher sat at the counter, laughing as Buck danced. Buck was slowly but surely making his way over when there was a knock at the door. He sat the juice beside the plate, pressed a kiss to Chris’s head and shouted that he was coming when the person knocked a second time. 
He pulled the door open, Eddie stood at the door with his arms folded. 
Buck gave him a small smile, “at ease soldier” he said jokingly, the joke had delivered and failed all in one, the smile on his face dropped too. 
“Is he ready?” Eddie looked at him, Buck stepped back so Eddie could see in. Chris was still sitting at the counter eating his breakfast, he smiled and waved when he noticed his dad at the door. 
“Do you want to come in?” Buck’s eyes silently pleading for him to accept the offer. 
“Sure” the one word was all he got from Eddie for the next 20 minutes. 
He spoke to Christopher and waited for his son to finish eating so they could leave. The tension in the apartment was heavy and uncomfortable, Eddie egging Chris to finish up every 5 minutes so they could get out of there. 
Buck had opened his mouth to speak multiple times, at this point there was nothing more that he wanted more than for Eddie to forgive him. 
The way his heart clenched in his chest whenever he saw Eddie or had to work with him wasn't normal. 
The way he smiled lovingly and stared adoringly at him wasn't normal either because friends don’t look at friends that way. 
Buck loved Eddie more than the average friend. He didn’t know if Eddie reciprocated those feelings but now he’d never know. 
“Bye Buck!” Chris’s arms wrapped around Buck snapping him out of his thoughts, his hand reaching down to rub his back softly. “Bye bud, thanks for hanging out with me” he smiles sweetly at the boy before looking at his father who was already waiting by the door with his bag. 
Buck walks Chris over to the door, they share one more hug before he steps out. Once again, Buck finds himself in the hallway wanting to go after them- after Eddie- but it’s like he’s frozen in time, he can’t bring himself to move towards them. Christopher smiles and waves before he steps on the elevator and Eddie, he just looks at him. Opening his mouth like he was going to say something but instead a sigh comes out, his gaze lowers and he joins Chris. 
It was a while before Buck heard from Eddie again. Usually, he would have texted to let him know that they got home and were okay but instead radio silence for the next 6 and a half hours. 
His phone chimes, rolling over and grabbing it off the table, there’s a notification from Eddie. 
To Buck: Thanks for last night, he had a good time 
From Buck: Thanks for bringing him over, I didn’t realize how much I missed him
To Buck: He missed you too
Buck was about to type a response when the little grey dots appeared, disappeared and reappeared. He waited, looking down at the phone in his hands watching as the dots appeared and disappeared. At some point, Buck put the phone down, he got tired of waiting. 
On the other side of the screen, Eddie sat on his couch with the phone in his hand. His last message to Buck telling him that Christopher missed him and he quickly typed out I missed you too but his finger hovered over the send button. Now reaching for the delete key, erasing the message. Eddie tried a few versions of that message. 
To Buck: I missed you so much you don’t even understand 
That one didn’t sound like him and made him seem desperate. 
To Buck: Chris wasn’t the only one that missed you 
What was he trying to do? Flirt with him? well.. maybe but this is not the time. 
To Buck: Come over, let’s talk 
Yeah if let’s talk is code for we’re probably gonna end up in bed. 
To Buck: I don't know what I want to say but I need you here, things aren't the same without you. 
This one felt right because it was the truth. Eddie had absolutely no idea what he wanted to say to Buck or if he would even say anything to him but he needed him. Things aren’t the same without Buck around, home didn’t feel like home without him. 
Finger hovering over the button but he deletes the message, the phone getting tossed to the other side of the couch before getting up to check on Chris. 
----
The men find themselves in this situation rather often. Eddie texts Buck asking when Chris can see him, Eddie drops off Chris or sometimes Buck picks him up and then when Chris comes home, Eddie texts Buck to say thanks.
Sometimes Buck is the one watching the little grey dots appear and disappear but sometimes Eddie is the one who finds himself in that spot. 
It was as if they were two parents sharing joint custody of their son and having that awkwardness of what to say when the kid isn't around and honestly, that was exactly their situation. They played nice and spoke the bare minimum when Chris was around or if Chris had a school event and asked for them both to be there, they would both be there with their best smiles on and they'd make small talk with the other parents but the moment they stepped back out of that building, all of that went out the window. 
Without Chris around, their conversations were nonexistent. 
Days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months and they turned into passing ships in the night. 
--- 
taglist: @mrs-dr-reid​ @yelenabelous​ @ickletheficklepickle​ @dralexreid​ @imaginebuck (cause you wanted some buddie angst)
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an-optimist-prime · 3 years
Text
Darling, feel better love
A Buddie 9-1-1 Fanfic
Summary: Eddie catches himself before he can say something he’ll regret, and sighs. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to snap. You just worried us. You worried me.”
“Come on, it’s not that bad,” Buck says, obviously trying to lighten the mood. “The doctor said all my bleeding was internal. That’s where all the blood is supposed to be.”
-
Or, Buck gets injured (again) and it forces Eddie to confront his feelings for Buck.
Word Count: 2270
Rating/Warnings: T, N/A
AO3 Link
*
Eddie absolutely hates hospital waiting rooms.
More specifically, he hates how useless they make him feel. There’s nothing to do but patiently, and anxiously, wait for further news on Buck’s condition after his latest accident.
Buck’s doctor had been out about an hour earlier. He’d reassured them all Buck was stable, and while it would take time, he would in fact recover. It was a massive relief, but still, Eddie couldn’t quell the need to see Buck and assess his injuries for himself.
It’s the seventh time Buck has been in hospital in just under three years. And that’s just in the time Eddie’s known him. Based on the stories he’s heard from Bobby and Maddie, he’s always been disaster prone.
This latest injury had happened while they were on call to a building fire. In typical Buck fashion, he’d disobeyed a direct order to evacuate, deciding instead to do one last sweep of the floor he was on.
That, of course, was when the floor collapsed beneath him.
They’d barely had time to pull Buck out, battered and broken, before the rest of the building collapsed.
Eddie’s not too much of a man to admit that the whole situation had scared the shit out of him. As soon as he’d realised that Buck had not followed him out, cold dread seized him. It was only compounded by the dead silence when Eddie tried to raise him on the radio.
While it had only taken them a few minutes to find Buck and pull him out, for Eddie it had felt like hours. When Buck emerged lifeless and unnaturally still, it was like Eddie's heart had stopped, and only started again when Hen had said there was still a pulse.
Although, if Eddie’s being honest, the accident itself didn’t really surprise him. Buck has a habit of being a self-sacrificing idiot, with no regard for himself or his own safety. But if Buck keeps on this road, keeps doing things like this, there’s a real chance that it’ll kill him.
And Eddie isn’t sure how he’d survive that.
He’d grown used to being alone, given that for so long it’d been just him and Christopher. But then came Buck, who’d somehow managed to worm his way into their lives and carve out a space in his heart since pretty much day one.
Eddie isn’t sure at what point he fell in love with Buck, but in hindsight it’s painfully obvious.
And it tears him up, that Buck almost died, and he’s never told him how he feels. Because Buck deserves to know. Buck deserves to have someone brave enough to tell him.
Most of all, Buck deserves to have someone he wants back.
Because honestly, Eddie is pretty sure that Buck doesn’t feel the same way he does. After all, Buck gives 100% to everyone he cares about, and lives with his heart on his sleeve. Eddie’s also heard enough about Buck 1.0 to know that if Buck wanted him that way, he’d know by now. But throughout their friendship, Buck has never shown any inclination that he feels the same way.
The last thing Eddie wants to do is make his best friend uncomfortable, and ruin what they’ve managed to build together. So, he pushes it down, determined to move on.
But, every now and again, there’ll be a moment. A moment where their eyes will meet across a scene, or they’ll be watching a movie and Buck will lean into him. In those moments, Eddie thinks there might be a chance that Buck feels something more .
Needless to say, Eddie feels torn.
Eddie’s thoughts are interrupted by a nurse, speaking to the assembled group in the waiting room.
“Family of Evan Buckley?” the nurse asks. He’s not the only one there. Maddie’s there, of course, along with Chim and Bobby. Both Athena and Hen had been there earlier as well, but had to leave. “You can see him now. Don’t stay for too long though, he needs rest.”
They all follow the nurse through to Buck’s room.
His skin is pale and he looks completely exhausted, but he’s alive, and that’s all that matters. Buck instantly perks up the moment he sees them, his eyes lighting up as they file in.
“Hey guys,” Buck says, his voice raspy. There are no words for how much relief it fills him with, to see Buck alive and well enough to speak. The perpetual ache in his chest abates slightly, and Eddie hangs back as the others rush forward.
Maddie rushes straight to his bedside, quickly wrapping her little brother into a fierce hug.
“Hey,” Chim greets, perching on the end of the bed. “How’s our favourite disaster magnet feeling?”
“I’m the favourite?” Buck replies, always first out the gate with deprecating humour.
“Who else would it be?” Chim states. “You should ask them if they have a frequent flyer program at this hospital. What is this, like your sixth stay in three years?”
“Seventh,” Eddie corrects.
“Seventh?” Buck repeats, as if it’s only just now occurring to him that he’s spent an inordinate amount of time in hospitals over the last few years. After a moment, Buck breaks into a joking smile. “Two more and then the next one's free, right?”
“How about no more?” Maddie suggests as she pulls back slightly, her eyes glassy. Eddie wholeheartedly agrees.
“How about you listen to your sister?,” Bobby says. “Let’s try to avoid hospital stays in future.”
“Okay,” Buck says, and Eddie knows this is the closest thing they’ll get to a promise in regards to this. “Seriously though, I’m fine. The doctor thinks I’ll be home in a week or so.”
Even so, Maddie still fusses over him while Chim and Bobby keep up the conversation. Eddie, meanwhile, continues to hang back, trying his absolute best to shove down a conflicting range of emotions, and work out just what he’s going to do about them.
Bobby is the first to leave, obviously relieved to see that Buck is conscious and stable. On his way out, he pauses next to Eddie.
“You’re overthinking it,” Bobby says quietly, so that only Eddie hears. “Just be honest with him. I think you’ll be surprised at how well it goes.”
“Is it that obvious?” Eddie asks, more than a little panicked that he hasn't been hiding it as well as he thought.
Bobby doesn’t respond, instead just giving him a look before he leaves, and it’s answer enough.
If the Captain knows, there’s a not small chance that Hen and Chim know, and probably Athena too. And if Chim knows, then Maddie definitely knows, and Dios, that’s a realisation all of its own.
Eddie hazards a glance to the others. Maddie is too busy with Buck, but Chim notices, and gives him a look as well.
They definitely know.
Eddie barely has any time to come to grips with the fact that his massive crush on his best friend is apparently public knowledge at the firehouse before Chim and Maddie begin to leave as well.
“I’ll be back first thing tomorrow!” Maddie promises, as she and Chim make their way out.
“Looking forward to it!” Buck says, with as much enthusiasm as he can muster.  As soon as she leaves though, Buck deflates, no longer needing to keep up his energetic charade.
Eddie knows that Buck considers himself a burden to others. He sees it in the way that he always puts others first, and how he’ll always try to make others feel better at the expense of himself.
It speaks volumes about how far they’ve come, that Buck is comfortable enough around him to let his walls drop. To be vulnerable.
Eddie takes the spot right next to Buck that Maddie was previously occupying, making a mental note to not stay too long. Buck really does need to rest, but Eddie just needs a bit more time to convince himself he’s really okay.
As he sits, Eddie puts his hand on Buck’s arm, just above his wrist. It’s grounding, to feel his warm skin, a reminder that he’s alive.
“Tell Chris I’m sorry I’ll miss pizza night this Friday.” Buck says, sounding genuinely remorseful.
“I’m sure he’ll understand.” Eddie says, because he will. He’s such a good kid. He’ll bring Chris to visit him in a few days, when Buck has more of his energy back.
It says so much though, about the kind of person that Buck is. Even in a hospital bed, he’s still thinking about others first.
As bad as it sounds, it frustrates Eddie sometimes, seeing just how selfless Buck can be. Like he doesn’t think he’s worth the worry.
And now that he’s seen it for himself, that he knows that Buck’s okay, Eddie starts to get just a little bit angry. He can feel it, how the rage simmers just beneath the surface of his skin.
How could Buck do something so reckless? Does he really not see what it does to others, to those around him? Or does he just not care?
His internal strife must be pretty obvious, because after a moment, Buck asks, “Is everything okay?”
“Really?” Eddie barks out a humourless laugh at the absurdity of the question. “You almost died, Buck.” His voice drops to a hiss, sharper than he intended it to be. He catches himself before he can say something he’ll regret, and sighs. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to snap. You just worried us. You worried me.”
“Come on, it’s not that bad,” Buck says, obviously trying to lighten the mood. “The doctor said all my bleeding was internal. That’s where all the blood is supposed to be.”
And just like that, Eddie’s furious all over again. How can Buck joke about something like this? “Buck—“
“Eddie.”
“This is serious. You can’t just do things like that.”
“What was I supposed to do?” Buck asks, crossing his arms. “I thought I’d heard something, so I went and checked. What if someone was still in there? Am I supposed to just leave them behind?”
Yes, Eddie wants to say, but he knows that Buck is right. He probably would have gone back to check as well. He’s not going to win the argument on this front, so he changes tact.
“You almost died, again,” Eddie repeats, because really, that’s the important part here.
“But I didn’t,” Buck insists.
Eddie sighs again. They’re just going around in circles. He looks down, to where his hand is still holding Buck’s wrist. Now is the time for honesty. How would he have felt, if Buck had died and he never told him just how much he means to him?
But this isn’t about him - if nothing else, Buck should know that somebody loves him, the way he deserves to be.
“You can’t keep doing this, Buck. I don’t know what I’d do without you.” Eddie confesses. "I can't lose you.
"You won't." Buck promises, as if he could ever keep a promise like that.
He could take the easy way out, and just leave it there, especially since words so often fail him. But he refuses to back down, this time. Steeling himself, Eddie reaches out to grasp Buck’s hand, twining their fingers together. His skin is rough, calloused from hard work, but the pulse that beats against Eddie’s palm is comforting.
Buck's eyes go wide at the contact.
He meets Eddie's eyes, realisation dawning on his face.
"Oh."
His gaze flicks down to Eddie's lips and back up.
Taking a chance, Eddie leans in, closing the last few inches of distance between them. The kiss is gentle and chaste, but full of promise. Eddie breaks away after a moment, cognizant of Buck’s injured state. But before he can pull away, Buck reaches up with his free hand and pulls him right back in.
Their second kiss is just as good as the first, and Eddie melts into the softness of Buck’s lips against his own.
A pained exhale snaps Eddie back to reality and he reluctantly pulls away. “You’re not well.”
“I’m fine,” Buck says, slightly breathless but not seeming to mind. “Besides, I’ve really been hoping that would happen for a while now.”
“Me too,” Eddie says, heart thrumming in his chest. After a moment, he adds, “Why did you never say anything?”
“I didn’t want to ruin what we had, not when I didn’t know how you felt,” Buck admits. “I know that I have a reputation, and I didn’t want you to think that’s all it was about.”
“I never would have thought that,” Eddie says, his heart clenching at the words. He may not have ever met ‘Buck 1.0’, but in the time he’s known Buck, he’s never been anything less than loyal and selfless. He doesn’t like that Buck thinks he’d judge him for his past. “But, same. About not wanting to ruin it.”
“I love you,” Buck blurts out. “Sorry, I know that’s a lot, really early, but it’s true.”
“It’s okay,” Eddie quickly reassures. “It’s not too much, at all. I love you too.”
Buck lets out a shaky laugh. “God, we’re both idiots.”
“Yeah, we are.” Eddie ducks his head to hide his fond grin. “So what happens now?”
“I’m going to date you so hard.” Buck states, absolutely beaming.
“Well first, how about we work on getting you out of here?” Eddie starts. He can’t seem to pull himself away from Buck, although Buck doesn’t seem to want to let go either. “And then I take you out to dinner?”
“If you insist.”
*
Thank you for reading! If you enjoyed it, please consider leaving a like/kudos or comment, either here or on the Archive (Fic Link).  I’m always up to talk Buddie, 9-1-1 and fandom in general, so please feel free to come chat with me, here on tumblr or on my twitter. Thanks again  ���️
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alpacaparkaseok · 3 years
Text
Mine - The Epilogue
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Genre: Yoongi x oc, Jimin x oc
Warnings: so much fluff, and I got so far back into my freaking feelings, remembering how much I love this series. 
Word Count: 5k
a/n: guys, it’s here!! Thank you to those of you that read and loved ‘Mine’, that series seriously is one of my favorites ever. I’m just so soft for these characters. So thank you guys for even wanting an epilogue. I hope you enjoy, I know I did!
If you haven’t had a chance to read ‘Mine’...I would really love you to. it’s a good time, I promise. ⇨ Mine Masterlist
🌙
When Bong-cha heard from Jimin about Yoongi’s plan to fly to Paris and meet Cara there, she couldn’t decide if she wanted to hate him for being so cheesy, or cry because it was perfect.
In the end she did a little bit of both. 
The day that Cara called her as she was about to fly out, Bong-cha was at home, working in her makeshift studio. Jimin had invited her a million times to come out and use the studio at the company building, but she always felt like somehow she was intruding. When she woke up that morning and couldn’t make it out of bed without feeling dizzy, she decided that today was a perfect day to do her work from home. 
There wasn’t too much to be done; they were all rather routine things that she did often, however it was difficult to get even the most mundane task finished when every time she moved too quickly she had to close her eyes and lay down for fifteen minutes before even thinking about trying again. 
Bong-cha has just opened her eyes and is in the process of slowly sitting up when her phone rings. She’s half-tempted to just ignore it, but once she sees who it is, she’s quick to grab it. 
This should be exciting. 
“I was wondering if you were ever going to call me. You made it to the airport?” Bong-cha squeezes her eyes shut as she does her best to not sound absolutely miserable. 
“Just got to my terminal.” The nervousness is evident in Cara’s voice.
“And how are you feeling?”
“Like this is the most bizarre thing I’ve ever done and I’m scared something will go wrong.”
Bong-cha eases back down onto the pillows, stifling a groan as the room spins. “Sounds about right.”
“Has…he left?”
Bong-cha laughs on the other side of the phone, knowing Cara all too well. “Yeah, he left a while ago.”
“Did he say anything to you before he left?”
“No, Chim told me.”
“Ooooh, of course.”
Now Bong-cha does groan, feigning annoyance. “Yah. You know you have to tell me absolutely everything that happens, right?”
“I know, I know. Will you come to my funeral if this turns out to be some grand scheme to murder me?”
“Bold of you to assume that I wasn’t the mastermind behind your murder.” 
“Not helping,” Cara chides in a singsong voice.
“Joking. Everything will go great, I promise. Just trust Yoongi, ok? Or rather, trust my judgement.”
“I’m trying. Anyway, how’s Jimin?”
Bong-cha’s heart rate picks up at the mere mention of the boy that can never get out of her head. She’s got too much work to do today to start analyzing over every little side-long glance she’s received from him, so she’s quick to cut the conversation. “Oh, would you look at the time. I’ve some work to-”
“I hate you.”
Bong-cha croaks out a laugh, hoping that at least Cara is feeling better now. “Love you too, Cara. Text me when you get there.”
The call ends, leaving Bong-cha staring up at the ceiling that is swimming in stars. She hopes that everything works out with this crazy scheme - Yoongi’s hair is going to start turning gray if things don’t start looking up soon.
It was late in the evening in Seoul when Beth called, so Bong-cha ends up calling it a day and turning in for the evening. Falling into a deep sleep, she just hopes that tomorrow is a better day. 
🌙
Bong-cha’s dreams, as per usual, are haunted by Jimin. 
It’s something that’s gone on for much too long, if she were to admit it. In her waking hours, she does her best to forget it. However, once sleep overtakes her, her subconscious allows for moments of weakness. 
Tonight she’s dreaming that Jimin has found her, and he’s ever so delicately tracing the lines of her cheeks and brows. She’s feverish, that’s what he keeps saying. Bong-cha wants to tell him that she’s perfectly healthy; she’s just always a bit warm when he’s around. However, just like conscious Bong-cha, she’s unable to voice her feelings. 
Raising an arm; which is difficult to do in her dreamlike, hazy state, she rests her hand on Jimin’s knee. He’s sitting on the edge of the bed, giving her a look that she can only describe as concerned adoration. 
“Chim,” Bong-cha croaks out, wondering why everything seems so difficult in this particular dream. “I don’t d...don’t deserve you.”
Jimin freezes where he was trying to gauge just how bad of a fever Bong-cha has, his hand slowly retreating from her forehead. 
“What do you mean?” He asks incredulously. 
Jimin is never one to get out of bed a single second before he has to. It’s a defining characteristic, and one that he’s grown quite proud of. However, when Bong-cha failed to show up for dinner like she’d promised last night and didn’t answer any of his texts or calls, he grew worried.
The other boys just told him not to worry about it, that she was probably fine. They were all too busy hoping that Yoongi wasn’t about to make a complete fool of himself to worry about Bong-cha. 
Jimin almost left last night to check on the woman in question, however he was convinced not to. There was too much work he had to do. Bong-cha was a big girl, and she would most likely never let him live it down if he appeared at her doorstep late at night just to check on her.
Fear of embarrassment is what had him settling for checking her location for the sixteenth time and going to bed. 
It wasn’t until Jimin awoke at 4:30 am with a feeling of uneasiness that he snuck out of the apartment and drove out to Bong-cha’s. Not even thinking about the early hour, Jimin rustled through the shrubs outside of Bong-cha’s apartment for the spare key he helped her hide, and let himself in. 
He’d let out a sigh of relief when he saw Bong-cha laying on her bed, completely passed out. 
Then he noticed the way she was shivering.
Now here he was, heart pounding out of his chest as he stares down at Bong-cha’s hand on his knee, listening to her dazed self proclaim that she doesn’t deserve him.
“What do you mean?”
Bong-cha sighs, clearly annoyed that Jimin didn’t automatically understand what she meant. Jimin stifles a laugh, waiting patiently for an answer. 
Grasping blindly for her blankets, Jimin helps to bring the covers up to Bong-cha’s chin as she continues to shiver. 
“Dream Jimin is usually smarter than this,” Bong-cha grumbles. “He knows that he can never be mine.”
Jimin blinks down at the woman he’s come to fall completely head over heels with, his heart betraying him as it skips a beat and begins to hope. 
“Do you want me to be yours?”
It’s an innocent enough question, although Jimin finds that he's bracing himself for the answer. The closest him and Bong-cha have ever gotten to discussing any sort of feelings is when they fight to sit beside each other for a meal. 
Truthfully Jimin has come to love mealtimes because of it.
Bong-cha’s eyes are closed, but she keeps one hand extended out toward Jimin, clinging to this supposed dream for as long as she can. 
“Chiminie,” Bong-cha mumbles out quietly, making Jimin turn a little red at the endearing nickname, “You are mine.” She says it with such firmness that Jimin practically melts, believing her every word. 
“Really?” He breathes out.
Bong-cha grunts in confirmation. “But only dream Jimin is mine.”
Jimin furrows his brows, daring to brush a strand of hair from Bong-cha’s face. “Why isn’t real Jimin yours?”
Bong-cha looks a little angry, furrowing her eyebrows as though he just asked the most ridiculous question known to man. “I don’t deserve real Jimin.”
Sighing, Jimin gingerly gets off the bed to begin his search for medicine and a cool cloth. “That’s silly, Bong-cha. I’ll prove it to you.”
Bong-cha doesn’t reply, lost to her feverish sleep again. Backing out of the room, Jimin pauses to lean against the wall in the hallway and catch his breath. He’s caught between melting through the floor and his heart shattering at Bong-cha hopeless confession. 
His hands are shaking as he brings a bowl of cold water in, a cloth soaking in it. He rushes back to the kitchen to grab a glass of water and some pills, carrying a chair in to sit beside the bed. 
Unsure of how to best go about this, Jimin wrings the cloth out and presses it gently to Bong-cha’s forehead, holding his breath. 
Bong-cha stirs, frowning at the unexpected drops of water seeping into her hair. Eyes fluttering open, she looks more coherent than a few minutes ago. She gives a little gasp as she sees Jimin sitting beside the bed. 
“Hi,” Jimin says a little helplessly. He even gives her a small wave for emphasis. 
Bong-cha blinks heavily, reaching up to rub the sleep from her eyes. Does this mean her fever-dream was...real? 
Deciding to pretend that that was really just a dream in order to save face, Bong-cha returns the awkward wave.
“What are you doing here?” Bong-cha winces at how raw her throat sounds, Jimin turning in a hurry to grab the glass of water. Easing her into an upright position, Jimin hands her a pill and the water. Jimin waits until she’s finished the glass before speaking, tapping his fingers against the cup.
“...you have a fever.”
Bong-cha stares. “Ok?”
Scratching the back of his neck, Jimin realizing that conversing with conscious Bong-cha after a confession is more difficult than he thought it would be. 
“I was worried about you. And I want to make sure you feel better. It-it’s really early still,” Jimin winces as he sees that it’s not even 6 am yet. “But...when’s the last time you ate? I think you need to eat and drink and get lots of rest.”
At a complete loss for words, Bong-cha rests her head back against the pillow. “Hmph.”
Deeming the conversation temporarily finished, Jimin rushes back into the kitchen to refill the glass. When he re-enters Bong-cha room, he notices her shivering again. 
“I’ll get you another blanket,” Jimin murmurs, heading into the front room. 
The next half-hour follows a similar pattern: Jimin rushing from room to room, grabbing blankets, water bottles, and eventually ending up in the kitchen heating up some soup before the sun has even risen. It’s a little strange, but he figures that Bong-cha needs to eat, seeing as she couldn’t remember even getting out of bed the day before. 
When Jimin returns with a bowl of steaming soup, he can’t help but smile a little at the sight before him. 
Bong-cha is curled up under several fluffy blankets, her cheeks red from the fever as she snoozes. Despite feeling horrible, Jimin can’t help but take a mental picture. 
She's always been the most beautiful person in the room.
Hating to wake her up after she’s just fallen back asleep, Jimin decides to wait until the soup has cooled down a bit. Perching on his chair and watching every little movement, Jimin nearly jumps out of his skin when his phone dings. 
He quickly pulls it out, making sure it’s silenced and internally groaning when he sees a text from Jin asking where he is. Shooting back a reply and consigning himself to the fact that he will be endlessly teased, Jimin puts his phone away as Bong-cha begins to stir. 
“Sorry,” Jimin whispers, mentally cursing Jin. “Can you eat?”
Bong-cha’s eyelashes flutter as she focuses in on Jimin, the events of the strange morning flooding her mind as she wakes back up. Giving a small nod of her head, she manages to sit up, pulling a blanket over her shoulders. 
Blowing on the soup for good measure, Jimin extends the spoon to Bong-cha, his cheeks turning a shade of red to match Bong-cha’s. 
Overcome with emotion as a result of the kind action and exhaustion, Bong-cha keeps her eyes down as she carefully eats. The only sound is the spoon scraping against the bowl, the silence weighing down heavily upon the pair. It’s so quiet that Bong-cha’s quiet sniffle is obvious.
Jimin pauses where he was deathly concentrated on making sure not a single drop spilled, looking to see Bong-cha hastily brushing a tear from her eye. 
“What’s wrong?” Jimin asks, carefully placing the bowl on the nightstand and whirling around to face Bong-cha again. “What’s wrong, Bong-cha?”
She shakes her head, keeping her eyes trained on the ground and clenching her jaw as she fights the onslaught of tears that are begging to be released. Suddenly the weight of all the stress she’s been hiding and the fact that the man she’s been desperately been trying not to fall in love with is here and being so sweet and kind to her all convenes and crashes into her at full speed. Streams of tears rush down Bong-cha’s cheeks while she desperately tries to stop the flow. 
Jimin jumps into action, leaping off the chair and coming to sit beside her on the bed. “Come here,” he mumbles, letting out a sigh of relief when Bong-cha goes willingly into his arms. Her tears are soaking his shirt where she’s resting her head against his chest, but Jimin doesn’t mind one bit. 
“I-I’m so s-sorry,” Bong-cha hiccups, turning into a shaking, shivering mess. Cooing over her, Jimin grabs a fistful of blanket, hauling it over the two of them. 
“It’s ok,” he whispers, resting his cheek atop her head. “You’re exhausted and sick, I would be crying too.”
Bong-cha chuckles in between hiccups, burrowing in deeper. Jimin tightens his grip, locking her in place and momentarily giving silent thanks for fevers.
Eventually Bong-cha calms down, her hiccups subsiding as she leans against Jimin and lets out a long sigh. “I’m sorry,” Bong-cha apologizes again. 
Jimin shakes his head, furrowing his brow as he straightens up. “Don’t apologize.”
Bong-cha tries to refute him. “No, I-”
Gently cupping her chin, Jimin turns her face up to look at him. His words are caught in his throat as Bong-cha looks up at him with wide eyes, her lashes wet from her tears. Her cheeks are still an impressive shade of red, the tip of her nose matching it as she sniffles. 
Bong-cha watches in disbelief as Jimin freezes, his mouth ajar as his eyes graze over her face. They start at her eyes, but gradually glide down to her lips.
It’s so quiet as Jimin leans down, eyes focused on those lips as he looks almost confused. Like this wasn’t his original plan.
Bong-cha’s eyes are half-closed as Jimin leans down, his thumb brushing over her bottom lip before his lips replace it.
A part of Bong-cha wonders if this is just another cruel dream, but she knows better. This feels real. The way Jimin’s lips feel so cool against her fever-warm ones, their pillow-like softness pulling her in as she involuntarily sighs in contentment. 
When Jimin pulls away, he almost looks like he’s the one with a fever. His eyes are a little dazed and he wears a shy smile as he glances at Bong-cha, who’s eyes are still half-closed. 
It’s quiet still.
Jimin comes to his senses, deciding that he’s all in now. Placing a gentle kiss to the back of Bong-cha’s hand which almost makes her blush harder than when he kissed her lips, Jimin rises from the bed. 
“I think I need to reheat your soup,” Jimin mumbles, grabbing the bowl. “I’ll let you rest now.”
Before he can walk out the door, Bong-cha’s small voice calls out to him. Turning to face her from the doorway, Jimin can’t help but feel like he’s flying. 
“Jimin-ah?”
“Yes?”
Bong-cha fiddles with the blankets, not daring to look up at him. She’s burning up with embarrassment, she’s sure of it. “Was...this isn’t a dream, right?”
Jimin chuckles, leaning head head against the door frame. “No. This is very real.”
“Oh.”
He decides to press the matter a bit further. “Why, do you like dream Jimin better?”
Bong-cha flashes his a mortified glance, clinging to the blankets for dear life. “Don’t you have soup to reheat?”
Jimin’s laugh reverberates around the house as he heads into the kitchen, and Bong-cha quickly grabs her phone from the bedside table, sending off four hurried texts to Cara.
ME: I KNOW YOU’RE BUSY BUT THIS IS IMPORTANT
ME: THE HEAVENS HAVE OPENED AT LAST
ME: AND BY HEAVENS I MEAN PARK JIMIN FINALLY MADE A MOVE
ME: AND BY MOVE I MEAN KISS
🌙
8 Months Later
“Should we leave the rice in the pan a little longer?” Bong-cha muses aloud as she stares down at the rice. “Or do you think they’re close?”
Jimin appears at her side, maneuvering around the kitchen where Yoongi and Cara made mandu nearly a year ago. “I think they’re close. Yoongi said they were leaving the airport thirty minutes ago.”
The boys’ shared apartment is a hub of activity tonight, everyone pulling together to get everything prepared in time for Beth’s arrival. 
The last time Beth was in Seoul was nearly a year ago, her and Yoongi meeting up in Paris a mere eight months ago. 
The stars have finally aligned, and Beth is going to be staying with Bong-cha for the next month. It wasn’t easy for her to schedule out a complete month of vacation, but they did it.
Although Bong-cha has a sneaking suspicion that Yoongi might have pulled some strings. 
Carrying the dish filled to the brim with rice into the dining room, Bong-cha chuckles at the wide assortment of food that they’ve both ordered and made. In the middle of the table sits a humble plate filled to the brim with dumplings. Yoongi had insisted on making them this morning, recruiting the help of Bong-cha and Jimin. 
They’d helped for a little while before sneaking out when Yoongi had his back turned. 
“Is that them?” Jin asks, craning his neck to watch a car driving up. Soon enough everyone is stumbling over each other, trying to see.
Everyone starts shouting and celebrating as the car doors open to reveal Cara and Yoongi, Jin opening the window to yell down to them. 
“Finally!” 
Cara laughs as she looks up at the window, waving and turning to say something to Yoongi. He laughs at whatever it is she says, wasting no time in grabbing her hand in his. 
“Look at that smile,” Namjoon coos. “He’s been waiting for this for so long.”
Everyone is lined up around the table when Cara and Yoongi enter, Cara’s eyes immediately finding Bong-cha. The two friends are a mixture of laughter and yelling incoherent things as they embrace.
“Come sit down before the food gets cold,” Taehyung invites, making sure to leave a couple of empty spaces at the table for the couple to sit together. Yoongi moves toward the chair to take a seat, turning when Cara doesn’t immediately sit by him.
“Chim, why don’t you sit by Yoongi tonight?” Bong-cha chimes, dragging Cara behind her. Both men feign offense, Yoongi looking a bit like a lost puppy as his girlfriend is taken to sit across from him. When Bong-cha sees him, she rolls her  eyes. “What? You two will spend a lot of time together. I’m taking her while I can.”
“But she’s staying at your house!” Yoongi protests, Jimin laughing as he eases into the chair beside him. 
Bong-cha raises her brows at him. “Knowing you, she’ll be home after I’ve fallen asleep and gone again before I wake up.”
Yoongi mumbles something about ‘not true’ under his breath, shooting a glare at Jimin beside him. Jimin raises his hands up in innocence. 
“Hey, I didn’t get to sit by my girlfriend either. Don’t look at me like it’s my fault.”
Cara stares out at the food with wide eyes, looking surprisingly awake despite just coming off of a long flight. “So...you two are dating?”
Everyone around the table groans, Jimin and Bong-cha exchanging guilty glances. “Well...” Jimin starts, looking to his girlfriend for help.
“We are, it’s just-”
“They’re like awkward school children,” Namjoon drawls, watching with a bit of fear as Jungkook shovels unnaturally large amounts of food into his mouth. “They’re dating, but the second anyone brings it up they can hardly look at each other in the eye.”
Jimin slides down in his seat. “That’s not fair, hyung. How could you do this to me?”
Cara chuckles, observing the chaos she unleashed. “You two are freaking slow.”
Bong-cha gasps. “As opposed to you two?” She gestures angrily between Yoongi and Cara. “The two of you took all of a week to confess! And what, two months to go official?!”
Yoongi looks unfazed, piling some food onto his plate as though he hadn’t heard anything. Jimin laughs, elbowing his friend. 
“What?” Yoongi asks, looking innocent. 
“You know what,” Bong-cha quips. Cara laughs, the sound making Yoongi break his solemn expression as he grins. 
“Oh.” He shrugs. “We kind of had a strange situation, there wasn’t really any time to take our time.”
Jimin snaps his fingers. “Ha! So we’re fine! We’re...we’re enjoying our lives!”
it’s quiet for a moment before everyone bursts out into laughter. Cara rests her chin on her hand, her nose crinkling as she laughs. Looking over at Bong-cha, she winks.
“Welcome back, Cara,” Hobi says from the end of the table.
Cara takes a deep breath, looking around the table until her eyes land on Yoongi. The two of them share a knowing look.
“Thanks.”
Months of just seeing each other through a screen, that’s what they’ve been through. They’ve taken to sending each other hand-written letters once a week, the boys have often seen Yoongi sitting at the kitchen table reading through the latest letter with a soft smile on his face. 
The rumors surrounding the pair have died down quite a bit, however there are still a few circulating. Word has yet to get out about Cara’s vacation in Seoul, and Bong-cha just hopes that nobody finds out at least until it’s over. Heaven knows that the second people find out that Cara’s back in Seoul without a work reason, they’ll start freaking out. 
Bong-cha watches the couple throughout the night, a little in awe of the two of them. They look at each other like they’re so sure. A part of her knows that when Cara is looking at Yoongi, she’s looking at her future. 
Yoongi looks at Cara like the first flower of spring. Like he’s so excited that he found her, and like he knows that the best is yet to come. 
Despite having been apart for months, the two fall into an easy pattern together. Bong-cha giggles a little at how giddy Yoongi looks when they settle down to watch a movie later that night, Cara coming to snuggle in beside him. 
The end of the evening finds Bong-cha groaning and complaining as Yoongi takes his sweet time bidding Cara goodnight. 
“Let’s goooo,” Bong-cha says, jingling her keys. “Cara needs to sleep if she doesn’t want to be a zombie.”
Yoongi waves her on. “We’ll be down in a minute.”
Jimin opens up the door for Bong-cha, heading down to the garage with her. “That was fun tonight,” he comments. 
“It was nice, wasn’t it?” Bong-cha looks a little distracted as she fumbles to find the right key. 
Jimin chews on the inside of his cheek, the words from earlier echoing around his mind. Was he really being too slow with Bong-cha?
It had been eight months since he appeared to help Bong-cha when she was sick. What followed had been a bit of fumbling and uncertainty, both of them unsure at times if they were really doing this right. However, they had never stopped to discuss it. 
Bong-cha opens up the car door, sitting in the driver’s seat and dangling her legs out the side. She’s looking down at her lap, her mind still a bit flooded with the way Yoongi and Cara seem to fit so well together. 
Taking a deep breath, Jimin dares to ask what’s been bothering him for longer than he cares to admit. 
“Are we doing this right?”
Bong-cha’s eyes are wide as she looks up at her boyfriend, heart softening as she sees his hesitant worry. 
“I...” she shrugs, chewing on her lip. “I don’t know.”
Jimin nods, not looking comforted at all. “That’s...you know I love you, right?”
The thoughts in Bong-cha’s head go silent as she stares up at Jimin. “...I didn’t know that.”
Jimin falls to his knees, laughing in disbelief as he takes Bong-cha’s hands in his. “I do. I’m an idiot for not telling you sooner. I have since I met you, I think. It’s hard to tell where it began, because I feel like where you’re concerned, I’ve always been in love.”
Letting out a startled laugh, Bong-cha smiles wide. “We’re slow, but we’re steady.” She runs a hand through Jimin’s hair, practically glowing. “I love you.”
Jimin leans up, Bong-cha meeting him halfway as they melt into each other. Jimin does his best to pour all of his emotions into the kiss. He tries to follow Bong-cha as she pulls away, making her laugh and give in, wrapping her hands around his neck as their lips crash together again. 
The sound of a car door shutting has the pair jumping apart, Jimin and Bong-cha turning bright red as Yoongi walks around to the front of the car. Cara sits in the passenger seat, buckling in and pretending like she didn’t see anything.
“And you told us to make it quick,” Yoongi quips, giving the couple a disapproving glare. 
Jimin laughs, waiting for Bong-cha to pull her legs into the car before closing the door. “See you tomorrow,” he says, watching as the pair back out of the garage and wave goodbye. 
🌙
Cara laughs in the passenger seat as they pull out of the garage, her heart aching a little as she watches Yoongi disappear from sight. She tries her best to remind herself that she’ll see him again tomorrow. It’s just been so long.
“Looks like you two were having fun,” Cara says to a very embarrassed Bong-cha. “I can’t believe you didn’t believe me when I first told you that he liked you.”
Bong-cha rolls her eyes. “Can you really blame me?”
“Definitely.”
It’s quiet for a bit in the car as Bong-cha maneuvers out of the neighborhood. Once they’re out onto the streets of Seoul, she breaks the comfortable silence. 
“How do you two do it?”
Cara’s head swivels to look at her friend. “What do you mean?”
“I mean,” Bong-cha frowns a little as she watches the road, “Just watching you two tonight - not even just tonight. Over the past few months, observing your relationship...”
“You’ve been observing?” Cara teases.
“Shut up. It’s just, you two seem so...I don’t know, at ease? No, that’s not it. Just solid. You seem really solid and in love and like everything is going according to plan, which I know it doesn’t always go the way you want it to. But somehow you two take every curveball and hit it out of the park.”
Cara blinks, looking a little surprised by the observation. “Really?” She chuckles. “I was nervous out of my mind tonight.”
Bong-cha nearly slams on the brakes. “What?!”
“Yes!” The two laugh a little in disbelief. “I mean, we haven’t been in the same room together for eight months! But more than nervous, I was excited. You’re right, we’re in love. I think that’s what makes everything seem so perfect to everyone else.”
“So are things not perfect?”
Cara shrugs. “No, of course not. We have moments of doubt, or days where it feels like we’ll never get through this.” 
“But you two seem so great together.”
“That’s because I think we are,” Cara says with a smile. “And I think half of that is just believing it. If you believe that you can make it, then you’re halfway there.”
“Hmm.” Bong-cha sighs, thinking over the past few months with Jimin. They’ve been, in a word, wonderful. They’re just both so new to relationships and falling in love.
Cara seems to read her best friend’s mind. “Enjoy every stage. Whether you’re new and awkward, or old and annoyed. There’s something to learn and love through it all.”
“What stage are you in?”
“We’re definitely still new and awkward.”
“No way.”
“Yes! We’ve been dating for a few months now, but you should’ve seen me when I got out to the car at the airport!” Cara laughs, embarrassed at the memory of earlier tonight. “I seriously forgot how to speak Korean for like a solid two minutes.”
“Wow.”
“I know.”
Bong-cha reviews the advice that Cara gave her, feeling more and more calm. “Since when did you become so wise?”
Cara snorts. “It’s all Yoongi. He tells me that stuff when I’m freaking out.”
“That’s...wow. Smart guy.”
“Yeah, just don’t tell him I told you. It’ll go straight to his head.”
The two chuckle knowingly, watching the city fly by as they speed down the road. Cara lets out a content sigh, feeling like she could close her eyes and travel back to the night she drove down these same streets with Yoongi. Nervous, half in love, and completely oblivious to all that the future held. 
Pulling up the email on her phone she received a few weeks ago, Cara can’t help but smile. Being contracted into a film series that’s going to be based in Seoul was what she was working toward for the past few months. When Sebastian mentioned this particular series, Cara couldn’t wait to audition. 
It was a few weeks ago that she got the call and accompanying email that she had been chosen for the role. For the foreseeable future, she’d be here. 
When she told Yoongi in the car driving back from the airport, she didn’t mean to cry. Cara blamed her tears on the jet-lag, but Yoongi and her both knew that this was what they so desperately had been hoping for. 
It wasn’t permanent, but it was enough. For now. 
“Hey Bong-cha,” Cara says quietly, smiling softly out at the city she’s come to love more than she ever anticipated. “Have you seen any apartments for sale around here?”
masterlist
taglist: @eusticenatalie @agustneeds​ @prdshobi​ @oceandeep​ @baepsaetay​ @dreamcatcherjiah​
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extasiswings · 3 years
Note
"sigurista" for Eddie
Edit: On ao3 here.
sigurista: Someone who makes sure that everything goes as planned; the kind of person who will not act unless he totally feels sure that the desired result would be obtained. [Okay, this is probably cheating because it only very technically fits if you squint, but this is all the result of your enabling so.  If anyone wanted more White House AU Buddie, this is a follow up to this prompt fill.]  
It’s a quiet day.
Now, Buck’s not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, but he can count on one hand the number of times his schedule has been so light throughout the first year of his presidency, so he can’t help checking it again and then a third time just to make sure. But it doesn’t change the longer he looks at it.
Okay. So, it’s a quiet, light day. That’s a good thing—it’s not like he can’t use the rest.
He’s just not sure why he can’t quite work the tension out of his shoulders, why he feels poised on the edge of a tightrope made of razor wire about to either fall or get sliced.
By noon, all of his scheduled meetings are finished and he’s even managed to catch up on some of the reports he’d been meaning to dig deeper into. He’s antsy and full of untethered energy and, finally, he closes the file he’s looking through and crosses the room to knock on the door connecting the Oval with the Chief of Staff’s office.
(After the last time he walked in without thinking and got an eyeful of his sister and Chim that made him want to bleach his brain, he always knocks.)
“Hey, Chim—I’m going to head back to the residence for the rest of the day—”
The main office door opens.
“I’m afraid I can’t allow that, Mr. President,” Athena says, and it’s been enough time that Buck knows when the head of the secret service shows up personally and without warning it means nothing good. Right behind her, the aide to his National Security Advisor comes skidding to a halt, out of breath.
“You’re needed in the situation room, sir.”
Buck looks back at Athena.
“Michael—?”
(It may well be a conflict of interest that the Vice President’s ex-wife is responsible for making sure Buck stays alive, but then, Buck’s pretty sure there’s no less of one than the fact that his sister is dating his Chief of Staff so...)
“He’s being moved to a secure location,” she replies. “But yes, Bobby’s waiting in the sit room. I can fill you in on the way.”
Buck swears internally and runs a hand through his hair.
“Okay. What do we have?”
“Bomb threat and possible shooter at the Pentagon,” Athena says, and Buck’s heart stops, ice freezing his insides. Because that’s—
“You know, some of us have actual work to do,” Eddie said the night before, the look in his eyes exasperated but fond in the dim light from the lamp on his desk.
“You mean entertaining the leader of the free world isn’t in your job description, Lieutenant Diaz?” Buck had teased right back, reveling in the quirk of Eddie’s lips.
“Yeah, well, you’re going to have to find someone else to entertain you tomorrow—I’ll be in meetings with the joint chiefs at the Pentagon all day. Should be thrilling stuff.”
“Maybe I’ll invent a national security emergency—get you out of it.”
Eddie laughed. “Please don’t, they’ll just reschedule. And then there will be paperwork.”
—that’s where Eddie is.
“How the fuck does that happen?” Buck croaks out, feeling like he’s swallowed glass.
“We’re working out the exact details,” Athena replies. “But it’s fairly clear it was an inside job. Whoever it is killed one of the marines on duty and called in the bomb himself, we’re looking at the security feeds and card access records to narrow down a name.”
She finishes just as they step through the door of the situation room and Bobby looks up.
“Dennis Pierce,” he fills in. “He’s been there eight years, looks like he was identified as part of the investigation to see which employees might have ties to white supremacist groups. He hasn’t been fired yet because the investigation isn’t  finished, but I guess he saw the writing on the wall.”
“And thought he would tender his resignation by, what? Blowing up the joint chiefs?” Buck can hear the edge in his voice, which means Bobby definitely can as well.
(They met on the campaign trail, when Buck started getting intelligence briefings that made him feel like he was drowning, in over his head. But Bobby never treated him like an idiot who didn’t know the first thing about national security, was always patient, willing to sit with him and explain. And by now, Buck’s pretty sure he would be lost without him. Without him and—)
“We’re not going to let that happen,” Bobby replies, his own voice carefully even. Steady. “We have a bomb squad on site and every armed guard in the building looking for this guy, not to mention that most of the people he’s likely to run into are combat-trained military.”
The phone on the desk rings and Bobby picks it up as the door opens and the heads of the FBI and CIA file in.
“Copy that,” Bobby says and hangs up, tapping a few keys on his keyboard to bring up blueprints on the main screen and highlighting a room on the fifth floor.
“Someone pressed one of the hidden panic buttons in conference room J,” he explains. “Bomb squad is on its way and we should be getting camera feeds—now.”
The feed flickers into the screen and steals Buck’s breath all over again, because there, on the screen, with his hands raised and facing down an older, grizzled white man with a gun in one hand and a trigger to the bomb vest strapped to his chest in the other—is Eddie.
“There’s no audio,” Buck points out as Eddie’s lips move too quickly for him to read anything clearly.
“There aren’t any speakers or mics in the room.”
Maybe not, but—over Pierce’s shoulder, Buck notices a phone on the wall.
“I want to talk to him,” he says. “Call the room.”
Bobby’s look is sharp when he turns to look at him.
“Sir, I really wouldn’t advise—”
“Call,” Buck repeats, his tone booking no argument.
Bobby’s lips press thin, but he picks up the phone, speaking quietly into the receiver while Buck doesn’t look away from the camera feed, his stomach twisting itself into knots as Pierce shakes his head violently in response to whatever Eddie is saying. Time seems to slow the longer he watches, even as Bobby passes him the phone.
“Extension 3596,” Bobby says quietly. And Buck dials.
He can’t see the phone ring on the feed, but he sees the effect—Pierce twitches, his head whipping around in surprise, and Eddie takes advantage of the distraction to move—
The feed cuts out.
The phone keeps ringing.
“What happened?” Buck demands. “What—we have to get it back, we have to—”
The line picks up.
“This is General O’Halloran, who am I speaking with?”
Buck swallows hard.
“General, this is the President. What’s your status?”
“Lieutenant Diaz neutralized the threat, sir. Passed him off to the bomb squad waiting outside. We’re all safe and sound.”
There’s something rising up in his throat, and Buck isn’t sure if it’s just a wave of overwhelming emotion or if it’s actually bile.
“Glad to hear it, General,” he chokes out.
He passes the phone back to Bobby and shoves back his chair then, not caring whether they need him for anything, just needing—needing—
Buck rips at the knot of his tie as he steps into the hallway, and only barely makes it through the door of the bathroom at the end of it before he throws up in the sink.
The door opens again a moment later, as he’s gripping the edge of the sink trying to get his adrenaline under control.
“It’s okay, Buck,” Athena says quietly. “Everyone’s fine. Especially him.”
Buck could almost laugh at that if he was in any sort of mood. Because he hasn’t even told Eddie—not technically—hasn’t ever done anything to truly cross a line, but apparently everyone knows anyway.
“I could have lost him...and I would have had to watch,” he says.
“But you didn’t.”
Buck rinses his mouth out and spits.
“Is Bobby pissed at me for walking out?”
Athena shrugs. “I doubt it. I can take you back to the residence now if you want—tell Bobby to finish up and debrief you later.”
Buck swallows again. “Yeah. Yeah, okay.”
He pauses as half an idea comes into his head, then adds—
“Hey, Athena?  Do you think—”
Which is how he finds himself waiting in a car outside a condo in Virginia with an extra protective detail at nine that night as his regular agents knock on the door. A woman with dark hair opens the door, and Buck can see the way her eyebrows shoot up as she exchanges quick words with the agents before they step inside to conduct their sweep. A minute passes, then the agent at his side taps her earpiece.
“Clear. Got it,” she says, and that’s all Buck needs to get out of the car.
The same dark-haired woman is standing in the entryway, arms crossed, when he walks through the door. He stops in his tracks, suddenly nervous as her calculating gaze trails over him.
“Adriana?” He guesses, and she hums.
“A little warning would have been nice,” she says, but Buck thinks he catches a hint of a smile as she turns on her heel to go down the hallway off the kitchen to what he assumes is a bedroom. “Good night, Mr. President.”
Buck opens his mouth to say something, when Eddie himself appears at the top of the stairs, hair wet and clothes sticking to his skin like he’s just jumped out of the shower.
“Adriana, what the hell—” Eddie cuts off the moment his eyes land on Buck and she just laughs before she disappears down the hall.
“Hi,” Buck says quietly.
“Hey,” Eddie replies. There’s a bruise blossoming over his cheek and Buck’s fingers itch to touch it, or really, to touch Eddie everywhere he can to remind him that he’s here, he’s alive, Buck didn’t lose—
Eddie clears his throat and makes his way the rest of the way down the stairs.
“You’re...in my house.”
Buck shifts his weight. “You almost died today.”
Eddie blows out a breath and rakes a hand through his wet hair.
“Guess you didn’t have to fake that national security emergency after all.”
“Guess not.”
Eddie’s gaze turns considering, his brow furrowing as an odd look crosses his face.
“So...I almost die...and that warrants you showing up in the middle of the night?  Why?”
Buck wets his lips, feeling like he can barely hold Eddie’s eyes. His pulse is racing, blood rushing in his ears, and his voice is a mere rasp when he says—
“You know why.”
You have to know.
Eddie glances down at the floor, then over to the windows where the curtains are closed. Then he nods once.
“Maybe. But...I think I need you to say it.”
Buck nearly throws his hands up. “Fuck, Eddie, because I love—”
He doesn’t finish the sentence because Eddie closes the distance and kisses the rest away, backing Buck against the closed front door. Buck nearly chokes on relief as his hand scramble to twist into Eddie’s damp t-shirt and pull him even closer.
“I thought—” he gasps out when Eddie breaks the kiss in favor of pressing a trail of them down his neck— “I thought you were going to die and I wasn’t going to get to tell you.”
Eddie pauses his exploration, hands spasming on Buck’s hips.
“Yeah,” Eddie breathes against his skin. “Yeah, me too.”  
Buck threads his fingers through Eddie’s hair and tugs him back up to kiss him again.
“Athena says she’ll kill me if I’m not back by midnight,” he admits.
Eddie’s lips quirk as he curls a finger through one of Buck’s belt loops and tugs him towards the stairs.
“Then we’re swimming in time.”
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