#i know it's been all over tik tok but i Am Not In The Loop over there so

[ohmymalice]

Schlatt finding out reader watches edits of him (this is incredibly self indulgent)

"I'm too tired for this." He mumbled, feeling a bit groggy from waking up. He heard some music come from your end of the bed and looked over.

"Y/n...Y/n god you need to stop your midnight scrolling..." He yawned, shuffled to your side of the bed, holding you close as he watches you panic and quickly swipe away at the edits of him that you watched.

"Oh? If you wanna see me so bad you can just turn to my side of the bed, Bubba." He pressed his lips up to your temple, feeling a small smile as he kisses you.

"Thought you were asleep, didn't wanna wake you." You didn't hesitate pulling him closer, kissing his cheek. You nuzzled your face in the crook of his shoulder, letting his scent fill your nose.

"If you think I'm gonna move past the fact you were scrolling under #jschlattedits you are incredibly wrong." He chuckles as he grabs your phone, looking at your most recent favorited tik toks and seeing a wave of edits of him.

"I'm never gonna let you live this down."

And he stuck to his word indeed because the very next day when they filmed a chuckle sandwich episode, Ted brought up the topic somehow and Schlatt immediately lit up the moment he remembered the events last night.

"Ted— I got quite the damn story for you." He smirks as he remembers your sleepy face, how completely engrossed you looked as you watched edits, not knowing he was right behind you.

"My girlfriend— Y/n we've been public for a few months, she recently got into tik tok and started watching edits. I don't know how she found them, but she found edits of me and started saving them and I swear I've never seen her look at anything like that. It was as if she was trying to burn that shit into her memory, I couldn't help but laugh."

Ted stared into the lens of his webcam, a look that clearly stated how invested he was.

"Does she know she can make a folder on tik tok—" Ted asks and Schlatt cackles at the memory.

"Oh you fuckin' bet, god I'd make fun of her for it but if I was in her spot and she was famous and people made edits of her, I'd watch all of them too, folder n' all."

"You heard it here folks, Schlatt wants you guys to make edits of Y/n!"

A week passes and the new episode is out and soon everyone started making edits of Y/n (since schlatt requested)

It was late at night, she looked to their bed side table and saw it was around 1:11 am, she heard a familiar tik tok audio that made her snap her head towards Schlatt's side of the bed in interest. It's the audio of her favorite Schlatt edit.

She sits up a little and squints her eyes, trying to adjust to the lighting in front of her and realizes someone made an edit of her and Schlatt has been watching it on loop.

"Look who's watching edits of me now."

#jschlatt x reader #jschlatt x y/n #schlatt x reader #jschlatt x you

[hxneydreamers]

✨DAY 1✨

Today started off a bit rough mentally. I had a bad dream about my SP, plus I have had the flu, so I have physically been a bit unwell too.

Whenever I thought of the dream I would just say 'it was just the old story purging out because they are changing now'.

I worked at my job (from home) until maybe 10:30 and then logged off and took the rest of the day off sick, as I was still really unwell and needed to rest and recover. I decided to use this time to my advantage. Since I was going to be resting all day, I used this to do SATS, affirm and visualise.

I also made the decision a few nights ago to take a break from social media, as I noticed for me that it was triggering negative thoughts about my desire, as well as just putting me in a stressed state with all the negative and limiting quotes and memes. Also, I noticed that whenever I would sit down to affirm or use my time productively, I would end up on Instagram and Tik Tok for hours and waste valuable time. So I deleted the apps from my phone and will keep them off my phone for as long as I need.

I have already noticed that this detox from them has been great for my mind and I have eliminated some of the obstacles that have been holding me back from keeping my thoughts in check.

I spent most of the day resting to get better from the flu, as well as doing SATS with the use of Theta frequency music. I lay down with my cat my by side, I put on some noise canceling headphones and a sleep blindfold (for me it helps me zone in on my visualisations. I like to visualise while I affirm), put on the theta music, and got myself into SATS, then began looping my affirmations and doing my visualisation.

Affirmations:

SP and I spend every single night together

SP tells me he's in love with me all the time

SP is deeply, blissfully and romantically in love with me

I am the only person that does it for my SP

I visualise laying in bed next to my SP, clearly seeing our surroundings and getting a feel for what I would physically be touching if I were there, looking him in the face, and hearing him say 'I'm so in love with you' and smiling, and I would respond 'I'm so in love with you too.'

I do sometimes struggle to visualise faces, so I did a thing haha. I Compiled all the snapchats and videos I had of myself and my SP from the last few years and put them together in a folder and quickly glanced over them to get a clearer image of his face and his vibe, which made my visualisations of him way more intense, real, and potent.

Today I woke up from a dream where I was talking about SP in the old way, but I wasn't phased this time at all. I know this only happened because I did such a good job yesterday and it is just purging out to fit the new in.

I genuinely feel like I spent all of yesterday with my SP, like my visualisation was real.

I will update on how I go for Day 2 tomorrow. :)

Love Hxney xoxo 🧡

#neville goddard #manifest #manifestation #affirmations #law of assumption #manifesting #affirm #affirmation #affirming #how to manifest #your thoughts create #imagination creates reality #create your future #eiypo #everyone is you pushed out #law of manifestation #law of vibration #law of the universe #law of abundance #specific person #manifest sp #spirituality #spiritual #visualising #visualization #visualisation #self love #self concept #sammy ingram

[alwaysinlimbo]

Body Image

-----If you're not a fan of discussing body issues than i urge you not to proceed and I am sending you love-------

A journal prompt for tonight

How have the media and societal standards affected your body image?

Back in 12th grade, there was a girl in my writing class that was taking a survey: "Have you ever felt self-conscious due to social media?" I said no. I lied.

Social media has been one of my favorite things, but has also been the bane of my existence. On one hand, I see it as a scrap book for my life, where I can share things with my friends and pretend I'm pretty cool for a little while. I enjoy sharing. Sometimes oversharing. I take it that stems from childhood trauma too, as most things seem to.

As of right now, I currently have instagram and tik tok off my phone. for one, cause I am in my senior year of college studying STEM and need to focus on finals, but also because I found myself in the never ending loop of comparison again.

I often see people online, and even knowing full well that social media is completely fake, I still compare and compare and beat myself up over stupid things. It's a dumb thing really, looking at a place full of filters and perfectly chosen photos and thinking "wow I must be a real wreck huh." simply untrue.

I deal with chronic bloating, and because of this over the past year and a half, have become very self conscious in my day to day life. My most recurring thought is "what if someone thinks I'm pregnant???" I have spent so much time pondering why that's my first thought and why I am so scared of people's perception of me (something I cannot control might I add). I've come to realize that I find myself doing that at times, looking at another woman and having that thought. But then I thought to myself, where did I get that from??? Well, I've chalked it up to social media. How many times do you see a celebrity post a photo where maybe her tummy isn't perfectly flat, and suddenly, the comments are flooded with pregnancy skeptics.

It's terrible. If people would stop commenting on other peoples bodies I think the world would be an easier place to live in. But either way, whether you like it or not, seeing repeated comments like that, you end up being conditioned into having those thoughts yourself. I once read somewhere years ago that your first thought is what you've been conditioned to think, and it's really your second thought that matters.

Social media now has also been overtaken by trends upon micro-trends upon consumerism galore. A terrible cycle really. Every week it seems there's a new buzzword for a new micro-trend, and then Shein picks it up and adds loads of clothes under that buzzword, and then millions of trend followers run after and spend all their money on those clothes, only to follow the next micro-trend a week later.

I found myself falling into this cycle I wont lie. I will always say that I hate trends, I've never been someone that NEEDS to follow trends. If a trend happens to be something I like, then I'll be on board and if not, I'll just keep doing my thing. But the problem is that with the rise of tik tok came the rise of these aesthetics and names, and then these tik tokers who make these aesthetics their entire personalities. And when you see someone have millions of people love them for sticking to one aesthetic, you get stressed and start telling yourself that you have to stick to one aesthetic or you'll be a poser, or people will stop liking you.

It's simply not true, it's a poison that the internet has fed us, and I'm convinced they've done it as a way to make fast fashion companies richer, but that's a story for another day.

What I want to say now is that it's all complete bullshit (I hope I'm allowed to swear on here still, I haven't been on tumblr in ages so if not tumblr i'm sorry). We are human beings, and human beings are complex creatures with complex brains. We weren't built to only like one specific thing. We were made to be curious, and continue to expand ourselves and our interests. We are not an "aesthetic."

I have spent many wasted hours and days sitting and pondering my entire existence because I don't fit into a box. I'm cottage-core, but I'm also goth, but I'm also punk, but also I'm goblin-core, and I'm also 2000s twee, but I'm also a 70s rocker, but also an antique 20s girl, but don't forget that I'm 90s grunge, oh and trust me, I'm also midwestern Americana and southern gothic. Read that sentence over again if you couldn't figure out whats wrong with it. and again and again and again until you get it.

WE. ARE NOT. AN AESTHETIC.

You are allowed to dress however you want. There are no rules. These "rules" that seem to be unspoken but very loud, they're completely fake. Made up by mouths that could not process the information their eyes received correctly.

We are so complex, and that complexity creates such beauty. It's quite cliche but when you really think about it, it holds: If we were all exactly the same the world would be a horribly boring place.

I hope this gave some solace to anyone who stumbled across it. I know it certainly quieted my mind in the way I needed it to today. If you're hear, thank you for taking the time to listen to what I had to say, and I hope if you related, your days get easier and your heart feels less heavy. Much love <3

[returntosaturn271995]

Thursday, October 19th: Trivial Pursuits

I redownloaded Door Dash. Don't hate me okay? I wanted sushi. Plus I decided I earned it.

Things I did to be a non-garbage person:

1). I went on a long walk to the beach (would have been a run but I'm not rushing the shin splint)

2). Made coffee at home instead of buying it

3). Did yoga, my body has truly never looked better

4). I am wearing matching cheetah PJs

5). I got a ton of work done

6). Drank a ton of water

7). Did a load of laundry and a load of dishes

8). Read two chapters (one fiction, one non-fiction)

9). Made a gourmet grilled cheese with fig and caramelized onion

10.) Supported Lexi through the Hamas crisis because some people have fucking real problems, ERIN, Jesus.

The book of love is long and boring.

But I regularly find myself happiest when I'm doing something. Even though being "get up and go" was never something I was previously all that great at. It is the only thing to build confidence.

Today in particular the little habits felt like bullshit. Trivial. Real terrorism is happening to real people. And here I am unsuccessfully executing triangle pose on my bright blue yoga mat from Amazon as if that's going to save my shallow soul from going to hell.

But the problem is if I don't stretch, then my shin splint is going to continue to be a thorn in my side. Plus exercise helps me sleep. Plus the daily meditation today was about the importance of routine. Once you have the basic bullshit down and the nitty gritty on autopilot, you can spare some mental energy for the important tasks at hand.

You know, like emailing people about Froot Loops while the world burns.

Hmmm. That seemed funny in my head but it's also grim as fuck seeing it written out like that.

Still, I deserve clean clothes and clean dishes. I want work experience to pay the bills and to travel. I like to cook, read, meditate, stretch, go outside, and write on a daily basis. I like to talk sincerely with my friends about how desensitized and scary the world can be and how important it is to stay human and love others in their own humanity.

All those things are small, and trivial. But together, over time, they sustain a peaceful life filled with growth. Even as my fiction book (Really Good, Actually by Monica Heisey) very accurately pointed out: “everyone involved in adult learning was running from something.”

Yeah, well. (inhales joint) I got sick of staying in the same place and refusing to learn anything. Now I might be a single loser, but my skin is glowing and I know a fuck ton about current events.

If I lose sight of the small things, I forget how many people would kill for ordinary right now.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

A conversation with someone I love:

Lexi Goldberg: You’d hope so, but people posting the lies are educated They won’t think or even engage with me It makes no sense One girl told me she wouldn’t debate with me because I “seem emotional” about it. Like lol yes I’m emotional I’ve lost people and my family and country is at risk

Erin Burks: She can go fuck herself

Lexi Goldberg: Right?! I was shooketh lol

Erin Burks: Just because someone is educated in the traditional sense doesn’t mean their not an idiot

Lexi Goldberg: Like I re-read it 3 times and then home girl blocked me

Erin Burks: Like I’m sorry, but who the fuck is Harvard letting in?

Lexi Goldberg: So so true

Erin Burks: Lol as I misspell “they’re”

Lexi Goldberg: Like these students are chanting glory to the murders I do that all the time and then have to quickly edit my messages on work team channels Lolol Comes with texting fast 💁🏻‍♀️ But really Erin, I cannot thank you enough Daniel is also so appreciative for you

Erin Burks: You don’t need to thank me, I’m just more upset that people I love are feeling this Aw tell him I’m sending him love as well Don’t let any armchair intellectuals try and convince you otherwise. They’re idiots who need to get off Tik Tok and read a book.

Lexi Goldberg: We love you and are so appreciative More than we can put into words It means the world to us And truly truly gives us hope And we need hope so bad right now

Erin Burks: I love you and I mean it that other people feel this way Fuck anyone on social media making you feel low Your loss is real, your history is real, you are fucking real.

[wyattvsmusic]

Pusha T - It’s Almost Dry ALBUM REVIEW

Pusha T’s third album DAYTONA was a 7-track masterpiece produced entirely by Kanye West. When he released that album, it really raised the bar that Push has been raising with every album that he puts out. His top-tier rapping, great ear for beats, and consistency are some of the main factors that make him one of my favorite artists of all time. When Pusha T announced that his fourth album was going to be half-produced by Kanye and the other half by Pharrell, I was expecting a combination of DAYTONA-esque beats and darker Pharrell beats like S.N.I.T.C.H. I was half-right as Ye is back with his classic sample chops and loops and Pharrell taps into Push’s coke-rap world that he was at the inception of but It’s Almost Dry is much more than that. This album is both an example of Push experimenting within his own sound while staying true to what we as fans want from him. Lyrically, Push is always on point and the cocaine bars never get old. Mainly, it’s because the cocaine bars are never the same and Push always has something new to say in relation to coke as it pertains to today because his references are always something completely new. On DAYTONA, he wasn’t making Tik Tok references. The opening song, Brambleton, sets the tone for the album as it is the dark Push we know but his flow is different from any other album of his and he continues to flow differently on later tracks such as Call My Bluff where he is noticeably laid back, the complete opposite of his boastful flows on classic songs like New God Flow or The Games We Play. It’s a new side of Push but definitely not out of character. I loved the way the album switches up on the second song for Let The Smokers Shine The Coupes, which I was so surprised about that beat because the chopped chaotic loop sounds like it would’ve been produced by Kanye but Pharrell actually did that beat. Either way, it is an amazing beat and I love the way Push rhymes over it and his catchy hooks are effortless. “Cocaine’s Dr. Seuss” is only something Pusha T would call himself. The beat for Dreamin Of The Past is unmistakably a Kanye West beat. The minimally-looped Donny Hathaway sample that Push absolutely murders makes the song an instant favorite. I also like that small melody that Push sings for the hook as well as how Kanye raps for a couple bars at the end. Neck & Wrist has that classic Pharrell bounce as well as this hypnotizing loop. I love Push’s laidback rhymes and Pharrell’s short melodies that make for the song’s hook. JAY-Z absolutely floats over that beat for his guest verse, making for a great followup to Drug Dealers Anonymous. The minimal Kanye beat on Just So You Remember is reminiscent of Numbers On The Boards and allows Pusha T to spit some of his best rapping on the album. One of my favorite lines is when he says “The purest snow, we sellin' white privilege.” Diet Coke is classic Pusha T and Kanye West. The simple loop sounds like vintage Kanye and Push’s clever bars never fail to impress. He raps “The number on this jersey is the quote price / You ordered Diet Coke, that's a joke, right? / Everybody get it off the boat, right? / But only I can really have a snow fight.” As soon as Rock N Roll came on, I instantly recognized that Beyonce sample. It is a sped-up loop of 1+1, which I love as it is classic chipmunk soul Kanye, who sings at the end of the song. Scrape It Off was so fascinating to me because when I saw the features on the tracklist, I scratched by head but I love this song. Don Toliver’s hook is amazing and he has been killing every feature in recent memory on albums from Nas, Eminem, and Kanye West. Also appearing on the song is Lil Uzi Vert, who I am not the biggest fan of but really surprised me as he actually rapped and rapped pretty well too. He rapped well on Tyler’s last album too. The beat is one of the best Pharrell beats on the album too; I love the different layers of the instrumental and it’s reminiscent of Clipse-era Pharrell production. Hear Me Clearly was on the Nigo album but it sounds great on this album. I love that bass-heavy beat and I like the menacing Push we get on this song, who delivers witty lines like “Left my elbow in the pot, à la Vince Carter.” The way this album closes with I Pray For You left me speechless. That Labrinth hook is heavenly as is that organ-centric Kanye West/Labrinth beat. Push floats over the beat, opening with hard bars like “Rarely do you see the Phoenix rise from the ashes / Lightnin' struck twice on four classics.” If that wasn’t amazing enough, we get a verse from Push’s brother/Clipse member Malice who absolutely bodies it. We have gotten Clipse reunions before on Jesus Is King and the Nigo album but this is easily the best one. Malice fucking snapped and had so many killer bars like “Belong on Rushmore just from chiselin' a brick” and “Three record deals show me ignorance was bliss / Tryna milk a game that is only two percent.” That is one way to close an album. Pusha T knows what his fanbase wants and that is incredible bars over great beats from two of the best producers as well as some great features too, not to mention he is an excellent songwriter. It’s Almost Dry is a concise 36 minutes long and there is not a single dry moment on it, making for another incredible edition to one of hip hop’s greatest discographies.

Fav Tracks: Let The Smokers Shine The Coupes, Dreamin Of The Past, Neck & Wrist, Diet Coke, Rock N Roll, Scrape It Off, Hear Me Clearly, I Pray For You

#Pusha T #Pharrell #Kanye West #It's Almost Dry #King Push #JAY-Z #Kid Cudi #Lil Uzi Vert #Don Toliver #Labrinth #Malice #Clipse #good music

[c0ffeeb1ack]

do you guys think vanya might have girlbossed a little too close to the sun?

#the umbrella academy #tua #tua memes #vanya hargreeves #my new favorite phrase #i know it's been all over tik tok but i Am Not In The Loop over there so

[bounce-a-coin-off-your-witcher]

lip sync your way into my heart

( @thecomfortofoldstorries and I got into a fun head-cannon debate last night about Tik Tok POVs and this is what happened)

--- Jaskier has never really been in the loop when it comes to social media. He was behind the curve when he made his Tumblr and he was two years late to sign up for Twitter. It’s no surprise that he finally downloads Tik Tok and makes an account several months after it’s become a viral platform.

That also means all the good usernames are taken; Jaskier types in @buttercup-bard, sees that it’s available, and calls it a day. This isn’t an app he’s going to care about. It’s just to waste time during his forty minute commute to and from campus. 

Alas, he has ADHD...and this shit is addictive.

Especially, he hates to admit, the thirst-trap hotties who do weird, obscure, edgy POV videos. Jaskier knows they’re aimed primarily towards teen and young adult women but he’s a red-blooded Redanian gay. He’s horny. He can watch a few POV Tik Toks on the bus and thirst after pretty boys with big muscles...as a treat.

By Jaskier’s second week of classes he’s found a definite favorite Tik-Tokker (is that what they’re called? Or is it influencer? Jaskier doesn’t care). The guy is gorgeous. He has beautiful honey-gold eyes and long, silvery-white hair; which is appropriate since his handle is @whitehairdontcare. He makes a wide range of content, too. Perfect for Jaskier’s Concerta-focused tastes. There are some dances here and there and some Q&A videos, but for the most part he does POVs. 

Jask and his roommates, Essi and Priscilla, have spent many happy hours poring over Mr. White Hair’s account, watching and re-watching their favorites from his vast repertoire of content. Essi loves his weird, edgy-boi shit. Stuff with titles like “POV: I fight the bully who insulted your haircut” or “POV: you make a deal with the devil for true love”. Stuff that Jaskier would have been into when he still listened to My Chemical Romance on the regular (okay, he still does, but don’t tell Essie). 

Priscilla is a huge fan of Tik Tok dances. She follows every challenge and ranks her favorites, compiling them into a YouTube series that’s more for her self-gratification than anything else. Mr. White Hair is generally towards the top of her list whenever he deigns to follow a trend that doesn’t involve badly applied makeup blood smears. The guy clearly works out and the definition of his body (and the movements of said really hot body) make the dances look so much more fluid and fun. Jaskier and Priscilla clearly share a brain-cell when it comes to appreciating Mr. White Hair’s hotness.

Jaskier’s favorites, of course, are the cute little POVs that lie scattered between all the edgy ones. Stuff made for the softies of Tik Tok. Stuff made for boys like Jaskier. “POV: I fix your car for you” is the one he’s probably re-watched the most. Mr. White Hair is lying on his back beneath a jacked-up blue car, oil smeared in a few strategic places on his face, chest, and arms. At the very end of the Tik Tok he moves the wrench out of the way of his face completely and winks directly into the camera.

Jaskier hates to admit it, even to himself, but no matter how many times he’s watched that stupid twenty-give second video, that wink drops his heart straight down into his shoes and fills his stomach with butterflies.

---

“Hey do you guys carry fake blood here?” an almost terrifyingly deep voice asks from behind him. Jaskier twirls around on his heel, Retail Smile firmly in place, and loses his shit the moment he sets eyes on his latest customer.

It’s Mr. White Hair.

Here. In the middle of the aisle of the Party City where Jaskier works every weekend. He’s either going to throw up or pass out or both. 

He doesn’t though. Instead, the Demon Lord of Retail possesses his body momentarily and nods, “Right over this way!” He leads the insanely attractive influencer over to the year-round section of Halloween FX makeup and gestures towards the shelf filled with various fake blood capsules, bottles, and packets. 

“Thanks,” Mr. White hair smiles. Jaskier nods again, silent, and drifts back towards the counter in a daze. He’s the only one on shift right now (it is not a very busy Party City) and he knows that he can’t pass out on the dirty tile floor or he’ll get fired (and perhaps tetanus). He just needs to power through the next few minutes and then he can crouch next to the helium tank and freak the fuck out.

But not until Mr. White Hair is gone.

Just as Jaskier is re-learning how to breathe normally, the sexy internet star makes his way towards the counter with an armful of products and the retail worker loses it again. Thank god for the ability to compartmentalize.

“So, just these for you?”

“Yeah, thanks.”

“No problem! I love your Tik Toks by the way,” Jaskier replies automatically. His eyes widen slightly. Why the fuck did I mention his Tik Toks!?

“Thanks,” the guy says and blushes. “I didn’t know they’d gotten so popular.”

“You have like two million followers?” Jaskier laughs. “I think that makes you pretty popular. Maybe even famous.”

“Oh yeah...right.” 

“Anyway, your total is going to be twenty-one fifty.”

Mr. White Hair pays and Jaskier bags all his fake blood, wondering the whole time exactly what kind of content he can look forward to seeing. More of Essi’s edgy shit, apparently. As he’s handing the plastic bag over the counter, Jaskier smiles and works up the courage to ask, “Is your hair naturally white? I don’t mean to pry, it’s just really pretty.”

Geralt’s face goes slightly pinker than before and he nods. “Yeah. Weird genetic thing. Thanks.”

“No problem. Right on,” Jaskier beams. “Well, it was nice meeting a famous person. Thanks for stopping in.”

“Thanks for helping me out,” the Tik Tokker replies. Jaskier watches him exit the store before ripping his phone from his pocket and dialing Essi. He needs to talk to her before he spirals into a giddy panic attack.

---

“Hey Jask have you seen that hot guy’s latest Tik Tok?” Priscilla asks, lounging across her futon like a queen. Jaskier looks up from his copy of The Collective History of Aedirnian Funeral Dirges and wrinkles his eyebrows in confusion.

“No, why?”

“You should go check your phone. I think you’ll be happily surprised.”

“Oh-kay,” Jaskier says, drawing out the ‘kay’ for as long as it takes him to get up from his seat on the floor and exit the room. He retrieves his phone from the charger in the kitchen and returns to Priscilla’s bedside. He opens his new favorite app and pulls up @whitehairdontcare’s page. There’s a new POV from earlier this morning and Jaskier taps on it. 

His eyes go round when he reads the caption: “POV: You’re the cute cashier at the Party City and I’m bad at flirting”. 

Mr. White Hair is staring into the camera with those beautifully golden eyes, awkwardly rubbing at the back of his neck with his hand while he lip syncs to whatever song is playing. He’s wearing a tight, navy blue v-neck and Jaskier can see the movement of every one of his ridiculously defined muscles as they flex. The silver wolf’s-head necklace Mr. White Hair always wears around his neck is in its usual place, dangling down between those perfect collarbones…

Jaskier takes a shaky breath and glances up at his friends, who are staring back at him with wide eyes. “It could be about anyone.”

“How many Party Cities do you think he went to yesterday?”

“I’m not going to get my hopes up,” Jaskier snorts. “He’s a social media influencer and I am one semester away from finishing my degree and my thesis. Why would he ever want to be with someone like me?”

Essi rolls her eyes and Jaskier goes back to his homework. 

---

Later that night, alone in his room, Jaskier plugs his earbuds into his phone and watches the Tik Tok over and over. He finds the song Geralt used and adds it to his Work Is Tough playlist, which he’s allowed to play over the loudspeakers at the store so long as he’s working a solo shift. 

He watches Mr. White Hair’s plush pink lips move around the words and dreams of kissing them someday, as far-fetched as that scenario is (because this video is definitely not for him, that’s impossible):

“My hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me.

So won't you kill me, so I die happy.

My heart is yours to fill or burst, to break or bury,

or wear as jewelry; whichever you prefer.”

Fucking Dashboard Confessional. Of course. One of Jaskier’s favorite bands from his emo days in middle school. If this really was for Jaskier, if this really was a legitimate attempt at online flirtation by Mr. White Hair himself, it was working.

 Jaskier buries his head in his pillow and sighs. 

#geraskier fic #geraskier tik tok au #there will be a part 2 i promise #geraskier fanfic #geraskier #geraskier au #all I do is make aus all day and work retail #geraskier fluff #flirty geralt #influencer geralt #party city employee jaskier #college student jaskier #geraskier college au #geraskier alternate universe #oops I keep making cute shit

[smallstoriesiwrite]

The boy who learned to love

Reiner x reader modern AU!

A/N: yes i had this idea off of tik tok i don't know if anyone has done it yet here (and if they have please tag me i would love to read it!!!) But I posted my best friend to this song every time i get it because I love the bitch too much and it came to my idea what if reiner was posted to this song! so yes i'm writing this hopefully it dont turn out shitty!

Like always take care of my loves and drink water and remember to love yall selves !!!!

@lemlemss

( I suggest you play the song as soon as you see this because I timed it hopefully this goes well!)

No one Pov:

It was a peaceful day at the Braun Residency.

From Gabi and Falco laughing while playing video games with Udo and Zofia.

To The Galliard brothers getting along with Reiner and Bertolt.

Along with Annie , Peick and Y/n sitting on the couch quietly conversating.

Miss Braun was busy cooking along the side of the mothers of the growing Teenagers to Adults one last time before the dreadful day came of sending them all off to University. Knowing that would be in a couple months still broke these mothers' hearts knowing that their children weren't so little anymore.

quickly brushing her hands on the towl miss Braun made her way to the living room seeing the growing adults laughing and chatting.

softly smiling she tapped her son

“Reiner! Tell y/n to meet me upstairs real quick.'' Reiner's mother whispered to his ear.

while making her way upstairs

reiner got up from where he was sitting and made his way to y/n

“Hey Babe! my mom said she needed you upstairs.” reiner said softly

looking up you see reiner eyes soften and a small smile was seen

nodding you excuse yourself from Peick and Annie and headed upstairs

walking up stairs you see the hallway filled with pictures of Reiners childhood.

from his first award ceremony

to his first Awkward dance,

and Lastly his highschool Graduation photo with just him and his mom.

smiling you headed to the master bedroom and knock silently when you heard a soft “come in”

Y/n Pov:

opening the door I see Miss Braun sit on the edge of her bed.

“Reiner said you wanted to see me? is everything okaY” i said making my way to her

she smiled and held my hands softly and looked up to me with tears in her eyes

“I just wanted to say thank you. Thank you for loving my son and being there for him when everything was at its worst. Reiner grew up hating love when his father left us. but my love wasn't even the start of the damage. Reiners' father engraved into our heads that Family was blood and that you didn't need anyone else. engraved us with hatred to anyone that wasn't him. but when he left us. it might have been the happiest day of my life.” she motioned me to sit on the bed with her and continued

“When he left it hurt Reiner. Gave him sadness but made him angry. Rage. Hatred. But y/n you got through those walls. when you come into his life and push through the walls of hatred , pain and fear. you showed my son that love isn't a good thing but actually is worth it. my son became happy and at peace with everyone. you my love, gave him access to an amazing group of Friends he considers family. You showed him that family isn't always blood. but family is the people who cared and loved you when you couldn't love yourself. and the day he brought you home as his first friend. I just knew you would be the one he ended up loving. And see, I was correct. He fell in love and god knows my boy is head over heels in love with you.” Smiling, I wiped her Tears from her eyes and held her cheek.

“loving your son makes me the happiest person in the world. and I wouldn't change it for the world.”

smiling she kissed my palm

and spoke

“Seeing you both go to the same university with scholarship makes me the happiest ever. you came into his world at the darkest and brought me my loving son back. Thank you. The reason I wanted you to come up here was to give you your early going away gift. I wanted to do this alone because I wanted to be a mother and daughter moment.”

standing up from the bed she walked to the dresser and pulled out a small box

“I can't really say in law yet. but i hope to be soon” she winked at me and sat down while handing me the box

“open it”

I carefully unwrapped the box to find a necklace locket.

I carefully opened it to see 3 pictures.

smiling i looked up with tears in my eyes

“Miss braun. you shouldn't have.”

“my dear, how many times do I have to tell you to call me mom. and my dear i bought this for you because i know the love you have for my son is more than i can ever imagine. It took me so long to get you for a going away gift when it hit me that you loved the locket necklace I wear with reiner and I took a photo with it. So I did some shopping and photo digging and i put those 3 photos in it. You and reiner first ever photo at the age of 11. Yalls senior dance photo and lastly a picture of you two kissing in graduation photos. I got the locket engraved with your initials and mine as well. so you can have a piece of me when you're far away.”

Before she can finish I engulf her in a hug.

“thank you”

“now let's not get all sad. Here let me help you put it on and head down stairs. knowing reiner he's going to be worried.” she said while helping me put on the necklace and ushered me down the stairs.

The night went on from laughing to singing to all of our friends and family sitting outside enjoying the starry night with the music very low in the back.

i was scrolling through my pictures while listening to Peick rant about her latest adventure when i see the picture of me and reiner laughing that Bet took on the night of our senior dance,

when suddenly an idea popped into my head

i went to instagram and went to my story and posted photos of reiner and i thought of our friendship to now. with Olivia's new song and tag him.

I am satisfied with the masterpiece I posted it.

When the post is finished I look to see reiners reaction.

Reiner was happily talking to Marcel when he looked down to check his phone.

Reiner Pov:

Mid conversation with Marcel I felt my phone buzz.

i looked at my phone and i can see it was a notification from Y/n from instagram,

I opened it and it led me to her story with photos of us.

i turned up the volume forgetting that my phone was connected to the speaker and i hear the song go

“Well, I hope you know how proud I am you were created

With the courage to unlearn all of their hatred

God, I hope that you're happier today

'Cause I love you, and I hope that you're okay”

i looked up to see my family and friends with concerning looks due to the fact the song was on loop.

“here” i say handing my Phone to my mother and watch as my family and friends croud my phone

while i made my way to y/n

i hear in the back

“AWWWWWWW”

“okay this is actually cute what the hell.”

“Bert are you crying ?!”

“y/n did it like on the tiktok ones!!!”

“okay why is everyone crying now.”

i pulled y/n into a hug and a long kiss.

pulling away i looked at her

“the only reason i unlearn all that hatred was because of you. so thank you for coming into my life.”

“i love you y/n l/n”

“and i love you Reiner Braun”

#reiner braun #reiner x reader #olivia rodrigo #fluff #modern au #angsty #childhood friends

[l8rhader]

Post (well, sometime before the time jump to the airport before their wedding  which I would argue still hasn’t happened even though it WAS SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE 6 MONTHS AGO BUT LET'S JUST IGNORE THAT PART LOLOLOL so let’s call this October in the timeline of-) come out of the things unsaid  my Adult Reddie, quarantine, Tik Tok AU.

Addition based on this video!!

Eddie sat curled in the corner of the couch, a glass of wine curled between his fingers. He stared at the phone in his other hand as though it offended 6 lines of his lineage. Well, no, like it had offended 6 of his closest friends. He kept trying to type out witty responses, but after looking at the profile attached to the laundry list of degrading comments, it was clear that the user was... young. Very young. Like, younger than the T&C's young but, come to think of it, he wasn't sure they'd mentioned an age. But after an hour of comment after comment on his videos, the latest series being him teaching Richie how to play piano (despite how rusty his skill set had been) and Richie teaching him how to play guitar (even if most of those videos were cut short because Eddie couldn't keep his hands to himself). Most people thought it was cute.

Except 69LonnyTheLiger420.

By the time Richie came out of the bedroom, he was in the worst mood. "What it do, baby boo?" he said, dropping into the couch beside him and wrapping his arm around Eddie’s back. No response. Dejected, Richie leaned in closer and tried again. "What's the hap, cap?" He nudged Eddie’s cheek with his nose, finally startling him into reality with a high pitched hum. "I said, What's the tea, sweet pea?" Eddie crinkled his nose and shook his head, dismissing yet another nickname. "Do you not love me anymore?" he laughed, knowing that clearly wasn't the case, but something was definitely off. "Eds, what's up?" His eyes searched Eddie's for a moment before the notification noise for Tik Tok went off. Richie snatched the phone and opened it, frowning at Eddie’s notifications.

"Give it back. It's nothing. It's-"

Eyes wide, Richie fought down the decades old urge to flee. Instead, he hissed out, "Christ, babe. Does this happen a lot?"

Eddie shrugged. He supposed it happened fairly often. They were gay and happy and unapologetic and rubbing their new love in the face of millions of followers. It made sense, to an extent. This particular batch was just a lot.

Shaking his head, Richie tugged Eddie up by the hand. "No more phone,” he said, guiding him up the hallway toward their bedroom.  Eddie made an exaggerated reach for it and Richie, instead leaned over, sweeping him into a fireman’s carry.  “No more phone.”  He shoved the device down into his pocket before slapping Eddie’s ass and eliciting a yelp in response.

“Put me down, jackass.  I’m a grown man.  I can wa-”

“Grown is an exaggerated term, toots,” he joked, navigating the hall with ease, despite his fiance kicking his feet and pounding his fists, calling him all sorts of creative names that thirteen year old never could have come up with.  He tossed Eddie down on the bed and pounced on him.  “I don’t know if you remember, but we literally bullied a space oddity to death.  I think we are uniquely qualified for a response to this little shithead.”

With his hands on either side of Richie’s neck and his bony knees dug in just above his hips, he dumped Richie on to his side.  “I think that it’s a little kid and it’s not worth, I don’t know, screaming at him in the middle of a Chinese restaurant.”

Feigning offense, Richie whimpered “That was ONE time, and,” he pushed his glasses back up onto his nose, adding “AND that’s something I only reserve for fans when I’m under emotional duress.  This wretched little crotch goblin is clearly not a fan of either of ours so an emotional outburst is far above them.”

Eddie closed his eyes and shook his head, pulling Richie in for a kiss.  “I love you, but just let it go.  It’s not worth it.”

“You’re upset, babe,” he said, landing on the one nickname that Eddie never fought him on because he was too busy fighting off the butterflies swarming in his belly when he said it to actually argue.  “That means it’s worth it to me.”  The corner of his mouth twitched up into a smile seeing Eddie’s resolve falter.  “You’re worth it all.”

The next morning, the video Eddie posted didn’t feature him at all.  Instead, it was five of 69LonnyTheLiger420′s least creative jabs, mainly mentioning their ages and their sexuality, floating around Richie’s head as he sat at the keyboard in the room that belonged to Eddie months and months of quarantine prior.  “You’re prob’ly just a kid in middle school and I don’t wanna fight a kid in middle school,” he crooned, accompanying himself with easy chords.  “Instead of fighting kids in middle school,” he leaned into the camera like he had a secret, then smiled.  “I’m gonna fuck your mom!  I’m gonna fuck your mom.  I’m gonna fuck your mom.”  He bopped back and forth, looking slightly reminiscent of a character from Peanuts.  “Don’t be such a saddie ‘cuz you got a new Daddy,” he added with a cheeky wink, “I’ll help you find a suit to prom.”  He dragged his middle finger up the keys dramatically in a fairly effective glissando.  “But, fuck with me and I will fuck your mom.”  He raised his eyebrows and gave a little half-hearted salute. 

Eddie swung the door open, then leaned against the doorframe looking at his fiance.  “Please don’t go the Burnham route.  I’m already sick of the people who compare you to Mulaney.”

“Why?  They’re good guys.  I don’t min-”

With a pointed stare, Eddie folded his arms.  “But you’re Richie Tozier.  You’re funny on your own.  You don’t need anyone else’s schtick.”  

Richie batted his eyes and smiled through pursed lips.  “You think I’m funny?” he cooed.  He may have played it up for Eddie’s consumption, but it still made him flutter when he actually admitted it.

Sticking his hand out and grabbing his phone to edit the video, “Come on, they put the final season of Schitt’s Creek up early so I am down for a rewatch,” he called from the hallway.  “At least I didn’t make you propose to yourself.  I love Patrick and all, but-”

”I proposed to you!  Twice!” he said, still blushing as he stood from the tiny collapsible piano bench.  “And does that mean you think you’re Patrick in this equation?  Because, baby,” he said, finally bounding into the living room, “apart from my eyebrow game, the kinship to the drinking of all wines, your startlingly similar boring fashion and comparative petite-ness,” Richie wagged his finger then swiped the remote from under the TV, “you are judgy, neurotic and,” he added quickly, “simply the best.”  He plopped down next to Eddie and wrapped him in his arms, kissing his neck.  “You are 100% the David here.”

They settled in for their binge watching.  Eddie’s phone dinged a few times, notifying them that the Losers were on the case, now.  Bill and Mike responded with a video of their own using the Pas de Deux from Us sporting matching unimpressed looks as they both tossed rocks from their garden idly in time with the music with the caption “Sticks and stones...”  It was basically nonthreatening, if maybe a little ominous, unless anyone seeing the video knew the Losers and their history with bullies, which they surely doubted.  A duet from Bev and Ben, flatly responding Beep Beep came next.  Finally, Stan’s response was of himself and Patty on the couch.  She was looking at her phone confused, Richie’s song audible in the background, finishing the loop and restarting.  “I think at this point the Mom jokes should be retired, Rich.  Eddie’s going to start getting jealous if all these little assholes start calling you Daddy, too,” he said, smirking at the screen as Patty chastised him from off-camera.  

Richie smiled, watching the responses over Eddie’s shoulder between episodes.  Even though momentary clips of the Losers were nice- it was better than nothing- Eddie really fucking missed them.  At least he knew that they’d always have his back.

#reddie #richie tozier #eddie kaspbrak #bill hader #james ransone #finn wolfhard #jack dylan grazer #it chapter 2 #it chapter two #it 2019 #quarantine au #tik tok au #smau #gay clown movie #stephen king's it

[betweenthetimeandsound]

Three Minutes to Eternity: My ESC 250 (#140-131)

#140: Lordi -- Hard Rock Hallelujah (Finland 2006)

“You will see the jokers soon'll be the new kings!” I'm semi-convinced that if I heard this song when I was a child, I would've been so scared I would just hide (I also panicked at the cover of Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince, though that maybe because I didn't want to read such a long book). Watching it for the first time in 2020, I didn't mind it, though the monsters still puts me off. As much as I like to jam to this one, I can’t see myself listening to it over and over again. That said, one can’t take away from the sheer catharsis of this song, from the opening notes to how Lordi gleefully announces their arrival and thunders down Athens with the arockalypse. Whether it’s the first hard rock winner or the last schlager one, Lordi came, saw, and grabbed a first win for Finland after so many attempts, and made rock more popular in Eurovision for a few years. i You can’t resist yourself from headbanging to this one! Personal ranking: 3rd/37 Actual ranking: 1st/24 GF in Athens

#139: Natasha St-Pier -- Je n'ai que mon âme (France 2001)

“Mais je n'ai que mon âme pour te parler de moi, Oh, juste mon âme, mon âme et ma voix,” “But I only have my soul to talk to you about me. Oh, just my soul, my soul and my voice.” By the turn of the millenium, France switched back to contemporary ballads to represent them. While 1999 and 2000's entries didn't do well, their next two would be really strong songs amongst the weakest years ever, and that's why I appreciate France so much in the contest. Initially, I didn’t get it, because it sounded a bit derivative (not unlike what Celine Dion would sing). However, one thing which won me over was with the intro, which provided the base of a really great build. A soft intro leading to a lush instrumental, it shone above the crowd, and it turned from being "derivative" to being "gentle and sincere. Natasha delivers this with equal parts softness and grace, though the English parts did feel a bit out of place in the end. That might have cost it a (deserved) place on the podium, and France would have wait twenty more years for the next medal-placing. Personal ranking: 2nd/23 Actual ranking: 4th/23 in Copenhagen

#138: Lena -- Satellite (Germany 2010)

“I even painted my toenails for you I did it just the other day!"

Whenever you check the comments of any video on this song, you will note a bunch of angry Turkish people who insist MaNga should’ve won 2010. While I really love their song (and will end up later on the list), Satellite was a worthy winner. Along with its commercial success, Satellite is adorable because it is uptempo, sweet, and infectious. Lena acts like she’s having fun on stage and doesn’t even try to pretend. Her accent, which emerged as a result of her English teacher, adds to the charm and her overall innocence. It’s cute, which can turn off some people, but not me--I really embrace it. Also, Arilena Ara made a cover last year for Eurovision Home Concerts, which you should check out! It keeps the poppy vibe, but adds a funky edge to it. Personal ranking: 4th/39 Actual ranking: 1st/25 GF in Oslo

#137: Lazy Bums -- Shir Habatlanim (Israel 1987)

“עושה לי כוס קפה ומדליק לי הסיגריה יוצא אל המרפסת לפצח גרעינים הציפורים יורדות העציצים של המרפסת ומפזמות איתי את שיר הבטלנים” “I make myself a cup of coffee and light a cigarette I go out to the balcony to crack open some seeds The birds come down to the plants of the balcony And sing with me the bums’ song” The Culture Minister threatened to resign when Shir Habatlanim was chosen for the Israeli entry in 1987, but it adds to the charming element to this performance. After a decade in which the Israeli entries pranced around, this was something different, and the two actors really take on the role. The lyrics were a bit silly, but relatable with the bums not seeing the sun because of the buildings and doing random tasks while hanging out with the birds. The Lazy Song before the Lazy Song, I'm starting to think this is the "reality" on playing hooky, whereas "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" is the "expectations" part (and they are really high in the movie). The Blues Brothers-inspired performance ("We're coming to ya--"), combined with Kobi Oshrat's orchestration, makes this otherwise troll song into a comedic masterpiece. It's three minutes of fun and endearment, and I can't help but smile. Personal ranking: 4th/22 Actual ranking: 8th/22 in Brussels

#136: Antique -- (I Would) Die for You (Greece 2001)

"Κάθησα και σκέφτηκα Κι είδα ότι μ’ αγαπάς Μόνο εσύ, μόνο εσύ" "I sat down and thought Realised that you love me Only you, only you" Greece's first top-three placing in Eurovision is thanks to Helena Paparizou and guy whose name we do not know Nikos Panagiotidis, both who were based in Sweden at the time. They were well known for combining Greek instruments and dance beat; Opa Opa (written by Giorgios Alkaios, see #207 for his entry) is a really good example of this! (Thanks again, Nikos Terzis for composing this too) From the opening bouzouki, Die for You establishes a sense of cool; the pop production following it adds a sense of modernity that the 2001 class lacked for the most part. And compared to Je n'ai que mon ame (#139), the switch from Greek to English is absolutely natural. It feels like being in an exclusive club, filled with dim lighting and a very spacy ambience of it all--though the orange in Parken works as well. And despite being nineteen, Helena oozes cool in all the ways. From her sleek hair to her jumpsuit to how she moves, she makes the song her own, for what it's worth. I frequently find myself copying her handography, though sometimes my desk lamp blocks my left hand, making it feel a bit clumsy. Though I don't say this often, either Antique or Natasha should've won in 2001. Personal ranking: 1st/23 Actual ranking: 3rd/23 in Copenhagen Final impressions on 2001: DR tried to go big with 35,000, but everyone went to drink, and it felt like one hundred. The songs at hand tried hard to be cool, though in some places, we were better off in school. On their own, the strings in our hearts remain broke, though when the trophy did, our minds awoke. Despite the ambitions, the contest would make people leave the room. Thankfully, it was better than that of 2002! :) (On another note, of all the years Italy didn't participate in the contest, 1999 and 2001 were the most irritating. Here, Elisa's Luce (tramonti a nord-est) won Sanremo, and it's a surrealistically beautiful indie song with cool lyrics (especially it was originally written in English, and had to be changed to Italian for the contest). Had they competed, I could see a top-five finish for them, and I could see this as an all-time favorite for me.)

#135: Katerine Duska -- Better Love (Greece 2019)

“Won’t you lean on me You can lean on me Let them look, don’t know, don’t care Go deep with me...” She's not Amy Winehouse, she's Katerine Duska! I had a love/hate relationship with this song during the 2019 season. On the one hand, it’s a really good song, with a lush production and sultry vocals from Katerine Duska. The lyrics, while simple, deals with the theme of love in an interesting way--no matter who you are, you deserve a love that suits you.

On the other hand, considering my grudge towards the 2018 contest, I was worried that this may do well and restart the Greek golden age. That feeling amplified when the rehearsals started, when Katerine and co. had this faerie queene aesthetic. It looked absolutely beautiful, with flowers and fantasy and whimsy. And most important, swords (the MV had sabres whereas the live performance had epees.)!

Of course it qualified, but it collapsed in the final and placed 21st in the end. Some people attributed to how "messy" the staging was, along with Katerine's vocals. In hindsight, I could see it with the former, but the latter remained firm, and she aced that high note.

But it was a good change for Greece, showing that they can do indie music as well as pop and ethno. And Katerine's non-Eurovision songs are fantastic; especially check out Autumn Again and Athenian Skies! Personal ranking: 4th/41 Actual ranking: 21st/26 GF in Tel Aviv

#134: Netta -- Toy (Israel 2018)

“Wonder Woman don’t you ever forget You’re divine and he’s about to regret...”

This has been a total phenomenon ever since its release. However, it’s also quite polarizing, with some people really bopping to this one whether it's on the radio or Tik-tok, and others getting repulsed by the chicken noises or the strong message it provided.

For me, it's Toy's "in-your-face' nature which makes it really special. From the first listen, there's the element of surprise with Netta's looping (the MV intro on Spotify >>> regular studio intro). It then builds until Netta announces herself as a "beautiful creature" and that she wasn't going to be bullied by others. While the songwriters definitely used the "Me Too" movement as a vehicle for the song, it's Netta's influence, along with the Mizrahi instrumentation in the chorus, which packs a punch. Without those chicken noises, Toy would fall flat.

The staging had to be worked on several times, but the final result captured the song's kookiness in every way. From the fake looper to the backing dancer's choreography, the following three minutes is an explosion of fun (though some of the energy died on stage on first viewing).

In short, Netta deserved to win, and those who suggest otherwise is just mean.

Personal ranking: 5th/43 Actual ranking: 1st/26 GF in Lisbon

#133: Mariza Koch -- Panagia Mou, Panagia Mou (Greece 1976)

“Κι αν δείτε ερείπια γκρεμισμένα, όι-όι μάνα μ', Δεν θα 'ναι απ' άλλες, απ' άλλες εποχές, Από ναπάλμ θα 'ναι καμένα, όι-όι μάνα μ'…"

“And if you see shattered ruins, oh oh my Mother, It's not from other, from other eras It is burnt by napalm, oh oh my Mother...”

In their second appearance at the Eurovision Song Contest, Greece sends this politically-charged song to criticize the invasion of Cyprus two years before. The Greek military junta at the time wanted to unite the island with mainland Greece, which led to a coup. As a result, the Turkish government invaded Cyprus, and declared the non-recognized Republic of Northern Cyprus. This status remains to this day, which has hindered Turkey's admission to the European Union.

(Interestingly enough, Turkey broadcast this contest despite not participating, and censored the Greek song to replace it with a patriotic song. Haha)

Dark context aside, it ties into the folk tradition during that time, but adds a Greek touch to it with the bouzouki. Combined with thoughtful yet tragic lyrics, it stands out as a darker yet deeper tone from the 1976 contest. Mariza also conveys this with her clear, yet harsh vocals pinpoint the horrors of what was going on. Also, the orchestration adds to the grandeur of this with its lush strings.

Personal ranking: 3rd/18 Actual ranking: 11th/18 in Den Haag

#132: Chocolate, Menta, Mastik -- Emor Shalom (Israel 1976)

בוא, בוא, בוא עוד היום”, אני עוד כאן אז בוא אמור שלום, אמור שלום

“Come, come, come today, I'm still here so come say hello Say hello..”

From one heavily politically charged song to a slightly less so, haha! Emor Shalom is s very playful and cute song, the three girls charm their potential lover (or diplomatic) with their voices and dance moves.

The hidden political context comes from "shalom"--is it hello, or is it peace? When the song was performed, Israel had been independent for thirty years, but their geopolitical relationships were not good with their neighbors. So the three girls, who sung for the military, were not only hoping for a lover, but also for peace.

The song itself incorporates some elements disco with trumpets, which got me into it in the first place. I'm not entirely sure about how the latter works--they are fine, but it does feel a bit cartoonish. While the lyrics are a bit simple, they still add to it.

Personal ranking: 2nd/18 Actual ranking: 6th/18 in Den Haag

#131: Sonja Lumme -- Eläköön elämä (Finland 1985)

“Kaupungissa on yö, puistoon kanssasi jäin Sä seisot edessäin täynnä toivoa” “It’s night in the city, I stayed in the park with you You’re standing in front me full of hope” Top ten anime opening themes, part two!

From the intro until the end, I love how Eläköön elämä progresses. It not only has a sound which matches with music trends (along with those mullets, but it's the 1980s so we can move on about this...), but also has a joie-de-vivre in terms of the lyrics. I've heard about it being connected to the Cold War; considering it was before glasnost, I'd imagine one of the themes here was to enjoy every moment before the world ends.

Ossi Runne's orchestration mixes the punchy pop-rock with some really good strings and brass. An awesome instrumentation and hopeful lyrics, when put together, you’ve got one of Finland’s best ever entries.

Personal ranking: 1st/19 Actual ranking: 9th/19 in Gothenburg

Final impressions on 1985: While Sweden first hosted in 1975, the production ten years later shows their capabilities in putting on a good show. From the graphics to the stage to Lilli's hosting, it's a totally fun experience. The songs were a bit weaker than it, though there were enough gems to keep the mood buzzing. Plus, there were several good orchestral moments there (especially #193) which made it all the better!

#esc top 250 #esc 250 #eurovision song contest #esc finland #esc france #esc germany #esc israel #esc greece #vintage eurovision #three minutes to eternity

[captain-emmajones]

in this life, we do not meet

Soulmate AU: The first curse never happened. Killian died 300 years prior to Emma's birth. They both live a life of loneliness, haunted by a love they never met, until death comes knocking at their door.

in which i made an angsty text post and people requested a fic out of it, hope you guys will like it <33

2000 words 🔱 angst 🔱 ao3 

dedicated to my dear friend @b99peraltiago because you’ve always been so supportive of my works i had to write you a gift :’) (sorry it’s not peraltiago :’)) 

The lyrics in italics come from Sarah Bareilles Once Upon Another Time, I had it on loop while writing and I really recommend it for the mood™️.

ORESTES: Where have I seen you before?

MOIRA: In a dream.

ORESTES: A thousand years ago.

.

Once upon another time, Before I knew which life was mine,

As Captain Killian Jones stands at the end of his life, on decks of his ship, still terribly proud in spite of everything, the waves tenderly cradling his boat are his last companions.

His crewmen were reluctant to leave him behind. They had all wanted to go down with the ship. With him. He couldn’t allow it.

“You are a part of my crew, mister Smee, and therefore you are also required to leave this ship –”

“— but Captain, I am your first mate –,”

“— I am well aware of that fact, Mister Smee. However, this is my last dying wish: to be left in peace.” To die alone.

His hooked arm guides the ship’s wheel, as always, while he presses a bottle of rum firmly against his lips. To distract himself from this poison inside of him, this hellish burn radiating from his chest – not only loneliness but the poison the Dark One infected him with.

It was yesterday. Or a week ago, difficult to be certain.

A seagull lands in front of him, completely unaware of his inner struggle. She sings.

He had been so close to killing him, after years, and years, and years…. And then she had appeared.

(He thinks he saw her first the day Milah died. Well, he didn’t properly see her.

But, as he lied sobbing in the safety of his own cabin, he did feel the warmth of a hand over his closed fist.

And it had suddenly felt a little less terrible, the hole in his chest, less terrifying the future to come, without her.

Perhaps is there so much loneliness the human heart can take before it begins to manifest something, someone, that doesn’t exist.)

She is an angel he has seen in so many of his dreams, visions, whatever bloody curse he is under.

Back on this very ship, the crocodile had come to taunt him and the blonde woman had begged him not to kill him. She said there would be repercussions beyond this life, and he wanted to believe her. Perhaps there was no other choice but to believe her.  

From the first moment he had laid eyes on her, years ago, he had known he was supposed to love her.

Perhaps not in this life. Perhaps one in which he is nobler, better, good.

The burn of a knife plunged into his chest had cut his thoughts short, and he had fallen down on his knees in front of his whole crew.

“Enjoy the ride, dearie! Your death will be slow and painful, just like you made my life when you took away Milah!”

The giggles of the Dark One still echo in his ears, but it is a fight he has definitely lost. It is a fight for the living, and he is dying.

He clenches his jaw as a brighter ray of sunshine plays on his eyelids. He frowns. He is drunk enough to numb the pain in his chest but not this gulf roaring within his throat.

As he is about to die, the sum of Killian Jones’ life is a lot of pain and wickedness.

(There is a tear at the corner of his eyes, one he firmly wipes with his hand.)

Dying alone is, after all, more challenging for the nerves than expected by the brave Captain.

A deep breath, to fill in his lungs with the salty sea air, one he’s loved his entire life.

Perhaps is he not so alone after all.

He has been haunted all his life by this angel of beauty, of love, perhaps of death. As if, maybe – just maybe –  things were supposed to end differently.

Bloody nonsense.

A flash of pain. The bottle of rum escapes his hand as his eyes shut in agony, a fire he knows sent from Hell overcoming him. His knees bend down, and his hand tries to hold on to the wooden wheel.

“Bloody hell, can’t it be a quick death?”

He chuckles to himself. What did you expect? The comfort of a loved ones’ arms?

Soon enough, he is unable to see clearly, and his head hits the floor, a muffled sob he isn’t aware of echoing on the ship.

Be quick. Be quick. Be quick.

And then, somehow, as darkness engulfs him and there is nothing but pain, a relief. A cold, white hand on his face – there must some comfort in death.

A smile splits his face open. “Oh, there you are… just in time, love…”

He thinks he sees tears on her face, and his heart screams: someone cares, someone cares,…  

One last breath, one last pang of pain, and he is gone.

(When the Jolly Roger is taken back by pirates with bright eyes and hopes, rumor has it that it is now a haunted ship.

The crewmen avoid at all cost to walk along the corridors at night, for a white figure lingers there.

She has blonde hair and translucent eyes and she seems to be waiting for whom will never come back.)

.

Truly, it is a happy life.

Although King and Queen of Misthaven, Emma’s parents offer her nothing but softness and love. She grows up sheltered by their good heart. (The one they share).

Oh, she does live a good life – one of very few heartaches.

(The few she endures are fighting against Regina, but it is never a lonely fight. Emma’s light magic is too powerful for the Evil Queen and she bends the knee. They evict her from the kingdom.)

Except perhaps when she wakes up covered in sweat, heart about to explode in her chest, eyes filled with tears, and she aches for whom she cannot reach.

It is not for a lack of trying. She feels like she’s dreamed of him her entire life.

Her mother has a knowing smile when she confesses her worries. Together, they decide to create an enchantment to find him, whoever he is.

(His eyes are of a forget-me-not blue, his hair of a dark brown, and there is so much pain in the absent smile he paints upon his face.

She wants to save him. Little does she know she is too late.)

It is truly a good life, except for that one moment, maybe, when she finds herself near the sea and she thinks she has finally found him and she discovers a tombstone with his name on it.

(“How can you tell it’s really him?” her mother asks.

She finds no shame in her heart when she replies: “He told me in a dream.”)

If she can make out anything in between her tears, it is the date: 1755 - 1789.

“He’s been dead for three hundred years,” she whispers in this foggy morning, one hand over the marble.

The sea breeze is cruel against her cheeks.

“Some things are just not meant to be”, Snow White tries to comfort her.

There is a moan that she muffles against her palm. But we were.

Being brought up in this environment of true love and happily ever after makes this burn over her heart even more painful.

(The pain comes from the birthmark she’s got under her breast, the shape of a knife enchanted with poison.)

But it is a good life.

It is however a short one.

The birthmark seems to infect itself, and the poison takes her over in a week.

Their princess is twenty-eight-year old when Snow White and Prince Charming lose her forever.

.

Killian Jones has always been a man of action and this after-life is a long agony of waiting.

Tik tok, tik tok,… Times flies but never towards the future.

At least, there’s still rum.

Rum has no taste back there, but there is a comfort in the habit.

One look at the clock. 8:15. The time of his death. As always. He drinks a mouthful of rum, waits for the burn that doesn’t come.

It is incredibly lonely there. It never gets more comfortable, warmer, it is forever dull and cold.

.

He is sitting in Granny’s when the air shifts. The door opens, and he instinctively looks up from his drink.

And then, a miracle occurs: the clock ticks forward.

There she is.

After all these years. He swallows down, tries to remain composed. His heart is about to burst out of his chest. The woman of his dreams is wrapped up in a dark red dress, a crown on her head, and void in her green eyes.

His blood becomes cold as his gaze meets hers and something within him urges him to stand up.

Welcome her.

There’s a flash of light in her eyes and he knows she recognizes him too.

“Killian,…”

It is awful to hear his name in the mouth of someone who cares for him, after all these years of heartache.

It is freeing.

The ghost haunting him for centuries is finally in front of him, in the flesh, and they are both dead.

A smile. “Well, I sure as hell have been waiting for you, your grace.”

Her smile then doesn’t reach her eyes but does break his heart.

.

“So, you are a royal lady?” a roll of his eyes.

He is playful to hide his discomfort.

They are both sitting outside of Granny’s, echoes of once upon another time dancing all around them.

She’s gazing at the furniture, surely taken aback, and no vision allowed him to fully grasp a glimpse of her beauty. Nor her kindness.

“Was,” she smiles, looks up at him and dives into his eyes.

She takes his breath away.

“And you are a pirate?” she enquires back, playfully.

Something hurts, in his chest. His blood turns cold. “That I am.” He is disappointing her.

You disappoint everybody.

“Well, my mother was a thief,” she quickly adds, she is perceptive.

Tough lass.

He smiles at her. And it is terribly tempting to fall in love with her in the blink of an eye.

.

As things turn out, she is so willing to love him and he is unable to believe he deserves that kind of love.

“I’ve known you my entire life,” she assures him as they sit on a bench by the underworld sea.

She wants to reach for his hand but he is cold and distant and terrified.

The air in this goddamn hell is unbreathable, and perhaps is it because they are not supposed to be breathing. It constantly smells of smoke and ashes, and she still smells like her old self, vanilla and cinnamon, and hope.

“You don’t get it,” he mumbles, remains as far as he possibly can on this tiny bench. He stares at his knuckles. And exhales: “You were the only flicker of light in an ocean of darkness.”

So many times, the only reason he had hold on to life was her face under the sky of a starless night.

A pause. “But I never deserved hope.”

I never deserved you.

.

She surely doesn’t expect him to believe he is a villain. In her visions, she has never seen one. She’s only seen somebody incredibly lonely.

She knows she cannot save him unless he wants her to.

She understands. He wasn’t raised with tales of true love and happy endings – and for heaven’s sake they are both dead and their skin is cold, but lord is her heart beating for him in spite of everything.

He’s waited three centuries. She can at least wait for the rest of eternity.

.

It takes a lot of patience, and kindness, and affection, to melt the ice around Killian Jones’ heart.

Hades doesn’t help her, mind you, is quite determined to keep them both in the Underworld.

“We can move on,” she tells him, still by the sea, “Together. Start over on the other side. Be happy.”

He nods. It isn’t much, but it does give her hope.

And when she grabs his hand, he lets her.

.

It is a very bright light, moving on. For the first time in this life, they do so hand in hand, ready to face all of eternity together.

But mostly, I believed in yellow lights, and tire marks. Sun-kissed skin and handle bars, And where I stood was where I was To be… No enemies to call my own, No porch light home to pull me home, And where I was is beautiful Because I was free.

#captain swan #cs ff #cs fanfics #my stuff #so i kinda wrote everything today #i did i wrote everything today #i apologize for any typo #my french brain is tired #hope you guys will like what i came up with #dont hesitate to leave a comment i live of them :'))) #amy babbles #tbh this premise deserved a multichapter but i do not have the courage to do so #i am completely unable to write more than 2 thousand words #if anyone is down to take over this universe tho #please do so

[dream-journalism]

journal entry | 3-10-20 | regarding shifting

I feel like i’ve been close to shifting these past two days (like really close), especially the day before yesterday. I think that if I’d been persistent and resisted scratching my side (it was too much I was dying) maybe I would’ve been able to do it.

Unfortunately last night was a bit of a mess and didn’t go as well as it had before; I tried some new methods involving songs, but youtube ads had this really funny idea of wanting to completely take me out of the experience and then Spotify also did me dirty by automatically playing more songs than I had queued (and no, the queue wasn’t looped, so it wasn't that either). The setbacks made me feel super frustrated, which obviously didn’t help, so I decided to keep giving those methods a try some other day and went back to using the raven and sunni method combination, which (as I mentioned in a previous post) has so far worked the best for me and shown me the most progress. 

Now, there’s two aspects of this that I want to explore, firstly it’s why I think I’m getting close, what have I noticed that changed? What’s different? What am I doing right? And the second one is why I feel like I haven't shifted yet, what am I missing? What am I doing wrong?

-

As for what I’m doing right, I feel like the Raven/Sunni method combination is working the best and most efficiently, and think I should stick to that one until I manage to learn how to shift with ease before trying something else and risking setting back or stalling my progress the way I did last night.

Now, there are a couple of reasons why I think I’m getting close: the symptoms have been coming way easier and more persistently than they did the first few days. The first few days that I started trying to shift I only seemed to get to a point of meditation and stopped there, which is great, it helped me concentrate and focus on visualizing, so that felt like a good first step, but recently, I’ve gotten past that and actually felt a bit different.

I’m going to talk a little bit about the symptoms that I’ve felt in more detail, mostly because I feel like most people who talk about them just say “dizziness, feeling like you’re floating” which, yes, that is what it feels like but personally for me, sometimes its hard to just base everything off of one word, because to me, there are different kinds of “dizzy”, for example.

Now, because I know these symptoms aren’t necessarily something that everyone experiences, but they seem to be the most common and generally accepted ones, as well as the ones that I have personally experienced so far and I will list them. They are in no particular order, since they all happen but don’t seem to have particular pattern in which I experience them.

Floating

This one is a bit confusing for me, not in the literal sense of the word, but it sort of overlaps with Detachment. The closest thing I can compare it to is when you’re swimming and you just completely relax your arm in the surface of the water and it’s, well floating.

I like to think of it as air fairies holding my arm up so it doesn’t fall through the mattress, I sort of stop feeling the sheets of my bed and the cold air of my AC, it’s this sort of just neutral feeling. In general, it’s just very relaxing. However it is with this symptom that I personally have the most trouble dealing with because as I start feeling it, at first its just calm and comforting, but after a few minutes, I start to get itchy spots (mostly in my legs and torso, which are the worst for me personally) and I have to concentrate really hard not to scratch them or think about them.

Dizziness

I felt dizzy, but it was a strange sort of dizzy. I’m anemic so, I’m pretty familiar with bed-dizziness, and for a second, I thought it was just that, but, it felt different. Instead of it being like everything around me was moving, it felt like I was the one moving. My back was still to the bed but it felt as if I was standing and the mattress was behind me. And yes, the world around me does move a little bit, though its not painfully disorienting, it just feels sort of like when you get off of a trampoline, or done a lot of exercise a lot and your legs make the ground feel wobbly, but in my head.

Detachment

I don’t know if this is what people call but the best way I can describe it is feeling detached from my body, something similar to disassociating (if you know what that feels like). To me, it feels the way a 3D movie without glasses looks, off kilter, like my body is the red and I am the blue. When I say I, I mean my brain, my soul, my essence, whatever you’d like to call it, but thats what it feels like. They’re not quite separated from one another yet, like in a 3D movie, they’re still touching, but they’re definitely out of phase.

The most noticeable parts for me are the arms, sometimes they feel a bit shorter for my actual, physical arms (which makes sense, since I did script that I start at a younger age in my DR) and they want to move forwards and reach for what I’m visualizing in front of me. The only thing that has stopped me from actually doing this (re: reaching out) is that a lot of different elements are still the same (i can still feel my sheets, i can still hear my AC running, etc.) and I don’t want to break concentration until I’m sure 100% I’ve shifted.

Other Symptoms

Some other symptoms that I’ve been feeling (but honestly I don’t think too much of them for a couple of reasons) are seeing Angel Numbers and Migraines /Headaches. Now why am I talking about these separately? Because they don’t particularly mean anything to me, but they are listed as some of the most common symptoms you experience during the day when you’re close to shifting (but not necessarily attempting).

Migranes/Headaches are something I experience quite often, it’s just something that runs in my family and my caffeine addiction doesn't help at all, so even though I had one throughout the entire day yesterday (the day after I have felt the closest ever to shifting), I don’t want to get my hopes up about it, since it’s not an uncommon thing to happen to me, however, it is still worth noting (if this is something you experience though, and it doesn’t happen to you often, then I’d probably take it as a sign that you’re close! Hooray!)

And as for Angel Numbers, they’re something that I’ve been seeing a lot of in these past two-three days (of course, when I say “a lot” I mean once a day or so.) I don’t count the Angel Numbers I see on my fyp on Tik Tok for example, because it makes sense to me that I’d see them on posts regarding Shifting Realities because those feel a bit like cheating, of course I’d see them under that particular topic. Though not gonna lie, I’m a little bit of a skeptic when it comes to Angel Numbers (I know i shouldn’t be but i just can’t help it), but it doesn't take away the fact that I HAVE been seeing them

-

Now that I have the positives down and the changes I’ve felt identified, I want to focus on why I think I haven’t shifted yet. Other than the fact that yesterday all the shifting setbacks really threw me off from the progress I thought I had made, it made me feel really frustrated and I feel like that negative thinking and feeling carried on with me until I fell asleep, which is never good, so I need to stay positive, and I think I will, now that I’ve mulled it over, so that should be good.

I’ve also had a really busy week so I’ve been super distracted in general and haven't been able to prepare as well as I would’ve liked for the Sunni method, but I’m going to try to get some preparation in before I go to bed, and since I can sleep in tomorrow, I won't feel as much pressure. I hope that’ll give me the last little push that I need to shift.

-

As of writing this, its 11pm and I’m going to prepare as best I can for the Sunni method before I wash off and then go to sleep. Hopefully today will be the day, and if not, I hope it’ll be soon.

#dr- journal #reality shifting #symptoms

[mdwatchestv]

Everything I’m Going to Watch in April: *** SUPER QUARANTINE EDITION***

I mean.... here we all are then.

Usually in these blogs I try to keep the fantasy alive of like “oooh maybe I really am going to watch all of these shows!” But, let’s just cut to the chase - you’re bored, you need to fill the yawning void of time between now and when they let us back outside (June?), you clicked on this for cold hard content recs. I hear you, I see you, I adore you, I’d love to embrace you, but most importantly: I got you. This month, I’m listing everything that could even remotely be in the realm of watchability. I do it for you.

BUT FIRST - Let’s talk about QUIBI. Quibi (“Quick Bites”) has been a looming threat for a long time and its time is finally nigh. Designed for “people on the go” (lol remember them?), it’s tv, movies, and docs released in ten minute or less “bites” on your mobile device. I think it’s supposed to tap into the same part of your brain that wants to watch 100 Tik Toks when you are technically “in bed” but haven’t put your phone down yet. It launches April 6 and you can get a 90-day free trial! Just the length of the rest of our time indoors! And on that date Quibi is ready to absolutely blast you in the face with a shotgun of content and celebrities. Chrissy Teigen is a judge, Chance the Rapper is Ashton Kutcher, Liam Hemsworth is a dying task rabbit. We are flipping murder houses, break dancing, and learning how to become drag queens. Also turns out this is the final resting place of When the Streetlights Go On! Who knew. I can not do individual recs because I am just one girl, and Quibi is a vast, merciless ocean of bites. However you are welcome to  drown in a full list of their offerings here: GOOD LUCK 

Now in case Quibi doesn’t permanently disfigure the television industry and forever alter all of our viewing habits, here’s what’s on “real” TV:

Friday, April 3rd 

Home Before Dark (Apple +) 

A tiny child journalist solves a cold case in a small town! This is based on a true story (?!?!?) Adorable! Gritty!

Harley Quinn Season 2 (DC Universe)

If you want to continue the high of Birds of Prey, I have heard the animated series is actually pretty good. No idea how to get DC Universe tho, you’re on your own there.

Money Heist Part 4 (Netflix)

La Casa De Papal! Never been a better time to learn to speak Spanish AND plan the perfect heist with your hot criminal friends!

Tales From The Loop (Amazon Prime) 

A sci-fi show based on Simon Stålenhag’s paintings (see above). Its Swedish, its futuristic, Rebecca Hall is in it. Feels like more of a vibe than a show tbh, but the painting is cool!

Sunday, April 5th

Kim Kardashian West: The Justice Project (7pm on Oxygen)

I KNOW some of you want to watch this.

Thursday, April 9th

The Good Fight S4 (CBS All Access) 

PSA: This is back for those who partake, and CBS All Access is doing one month free! Sir Patrick said so!

The Circle: France (Netflix)

Okay so I did watch all of The Circle, Netflix’s social media reality show. Am I proud? No. Am I going to watch it in French? Yes.

Sunday, April 12th AKA NATIONAL PWB DAY

Killing Eve Season 3 (9pm on BBC America / AMC) 

Admittedly, I was underwhelmed by season 2 but that’s only because season 1 set the very highest bar imaginable. Our favorite murder girlfriends are back with a NEW lady show runner, so blank slate baby. Speaking of the perfect season 1, it is all on HULU. 

Run (10:30pm on HBO)

After Killing Eve hop right on over to HBO where this show from PWB’s writing partner Vicky Jones premieres! What a day for us! Ex-lovers abandon their lives to RUN away together. Merritt Weaver! Phoebe is actually IN it!  Romance! Intrigue! Also I have official confirmation: Domhnall Gleeson is doing his natural accent for those of us made nervous by the teaser. 

Wednesday, April 15th 

Mrs. America (FX but on Hulu) 

Look, I’m just going to come out and say what we’re all thinking: Rose Byrne is the most underrated actress alive, every performances is a master class, and her American accent is a work of art. Anyway she plays Gloria Steinem in this and she’s going to absolutely crush it. This miniseries about the ERA could not be more on brand for me: fabulous actresses of today, playing feminist heroes of yesterday! Thank you FX, for this gift. And thank you Australia for Rose Byrne (and Cate Blanchett!) 

What We Do in the Shadows Season 2 (10pm FX on FX and then on Hulu) 

Season 1 also on Hulu to catch up! Maybe even I myself, your dearest blogger, will catch up. Anything is possible.

Thursday, April 23rd 

We’re Here (9pm on HBO)

Shangela, Bob the Drag Queen, and Eureka travel the country and empower people by making them into drag queens! Like a hug for your heart (in case you never actually physically hug anyone ever again).

Friday, April 24th 

Defending Jacob (Apple +) 

Chris Evans has to defend his son, Jacob. Look, do you want to stare at Chris Evans or not?

Sunday, April 26th

Penny Dreadful: City of Angels (10pm on Showtime)

A sequel to the OG Penny Dreadful, the new series takes place in 1930s Los Angeles and Natalie Dormer in a leather dress, Natalie Dormer in a leather dress, Natalie Dormer in a leather dress, and um other supernatural chaos too I guess.

Vida Season 4 (9pm on Starz)

One of the shows most recommended to me I haven’t watched. I’ll say to you what my friends say to me: “Martha it’s only 30 minutes!”

Monday, April 27th

Never Have I Ever (Netflix) 

A teen comedy by Mindy Kaling about an Indian-American girl growing up in the valley. There will be awkwardness and growth! I love teens!!!

I Know This Much Is True (9pm on HBO)

2 Mark Ruffalos. 

Okay if you can’t find something here to whittle away the minutes unto freedom then idk how to help you. Please stay inside and watch tv, stay safe, I love you, I’m thinking of you <3

XO MD

#Martha Writes #Everything I'm going to watch #tv writing #tv blog #tv schedule #tv gifs #what to watch #other tv #everything i'm going to watch in april 2020 #april 2020 #natalie dormer #penny dreadful #i know this much is true #mark ruffalo #vida #money heist #mrs america #never have i ever #shangela #quarantine #run #killing eve #phoebe waller-bridge #stay home #social distancing #merritt weaver #quibi

[dontgotothenetherworld]

ap psychology

anonymous asked:  Can I request readers putting all her studying off till the week before AP exams and she starts studying an unhealthy amount, like sometimes forgetting to eat all day because of it and even made herself sick from stress over it but reader refuses to complain because she did it to herself and Lydia's just there helping her review and making sure she takes time to care for herself ect? Bonus if Reader thinks she did bad and Lydia assuring her she did fine and has an 'i told you don't moment? 

anonymous asked: Totally didn't request that bc that's my situation-

for some reason when i tried to queue this w/ the original ask, tumblr wanted to put the cut in the ask and i couldn’t delete it

this is out of date now, but i was uninspired to write for a hella long time sorry. also! i’m going to draw from my experiences w/ ap this year, and the only ap exam i had to take was psych, so that’s also going to be the case for reader :)

also, i feel like my lydia is a bit out of character? idk it’ll probably take a while to get back to the way i used to write her.

1303 words

cw: femreader. food

you cursed under your breath. months ago, months! you told yourself you would start studying for your ap exam. you only had the one exam to study for, so you told yourself that if you just did a little bit everyday, you would be fine.

but here you were, about three days until your ap psychology exam, and you hadn’t studied any of it. you had hardly even watched the videos your teacher had posted as the digital learning content. but to be fair, the stuff he was talking about in them were the last unit or two of psych, and you wouldn’t have to worry about them, because you weren’t going to be tested on them.

you groaned and dragged your feet downstairs, to where you hid your backpack. the friday weeks ago, when your school told everyone that classes would go digital for a few weeks because of the coronavirus, your teacher had come prepared. he gave everyone that showed up to class, which, granted, wasn’t that many but still- a huge packet covering everything that you had studied this year. it was some forty pages long.

okay, it was, like, thirty five because you crossed out the pages about personality and disorders. which was a shame, because those are the units that everyone takes psychology to learn about. no one goes, “oh boy, i can’t wait to learn about how to test if a baby has depth perception!” or “i can’t wait to learn about all the different types of visual illusions!” but whatever.

you flipped to page thirty five, to see how many questions you were in for. just over 250, except that’s counting all the charts as individual questions. yeah, that makes sense. one and a half pages of listing what researchers discovered what is equivalent to answering which cortex of the brain processes visual stimuli.

wait a minute. lydia was also taking psych. studying sucks, but if you could do it with your girlfriend, that’d be so much less painful.

you texted her, “hey lyds, have u finished the psych packet yet?”

”yea i finished it yesterday, why?” she texted back almost immediately.

shit. looks like you’ll have to suffer through this alone. “nvm”

you looked at the time, 1:46. damn, already? it felt like you had only just woken up. you made yourself a coffee, and set up shop on the desk you have never used in your bedroom, with laptop open beside you. you planned on googling everything, rather than going through your notes, mostly because you forgot where you put them, but this would still take ages.

an hour passed, and you felt like you were dying on the inside. if you had to answer one more question about behavioral psych, you were going to scream. behavioral psych is by far the worst part of psychology! watson and skinner be damned! people are people not some computer code! people have feelings! you can’t just ignore them! and the feeling you were feeling right now was not a good one!

you wanted to stop, but you weren’t sure if you stopped now if you’d be able to finish the packet. so you kept on going.

you went another five hours, taking five minute tik tok breaks every hour to keep you sane. you looked at the clock, and realized you hadn’t eaten anything today. you grabbed a box of cheez-its and made your way back upstairs, and went back to work. this time, you ate a cheez-it every time you finished a question, or you filled out a row in a chart.

you didn’t know when you fell asleep, but you woke up in the morning with about half the packet filled out. considering the exam was in one day, and four-ish hours, you thought that was good.

as you made your morning coffee, you checked the messages lydia had sent you. “are you doing okay? normally we talk a lot but…” “wait, are you working on the study guide?” “y/n! please take breaks! remember! you need food!” “and water!”

you sent back, “if i eat my cheez-its, and i drink my coffee while i study, then i don’t have to take breaks.”

you went back to your desk, and plugged your phone in across the room so you wouldn’t be distracted. but also because you forgot to charge it before you passed out, so it was at three percent, because apparently you had kept it open to tik tok all night, and the video just kept looping. oops.

for a while, the studying seemed easier. you felt like you had less to do, and you didn’t need to worry about getting it done in time, because you had more than enough of it. but because you didn’t need to rush, you became more productive.

you finished the second half of the packet by six that evening. you do admit, you got a bit lazy in the last few pages, but it was done!

shit. studying isn’t just writing stuff down, you have to read it over, right? you don’t really study that much.

but you decided to take an hour or two’s break for… breakfast? dinner? maybe even lunch? whatever, leftover pizza, because you had just only now just realized the intense rumbling in your stomach.

you checked your phone for the first time in hours. you were actually kind of proud of yourself. you usually were on your phone every waking hour, which was probably a problem, but you had shown enormous restraint… by spending every waking hour staring at your laptop. it’s all about choosing your battles.

you quickly dismissed some twitter notifications before tapping on a new message from lydia. “babe, i’m getting really worried about you, please call me when you see this.” you furrowed your brows. worried? about you? why?

you called lydia, and she picked up nearly immediately.

”y/n!” she gasped with relief, “don’t do that to me again!”

you felt stupid for wondering what she was talking about, but you kind of needed to know, “what do you mean?”

”you’ve been offline for hours, and i couldn’t get to you! and then when i heard what you were eating, that got me worried. have you eaten today?”

”three slices of pizza right now.” you swallowed a bite.

”is that your first meal today?”

”unless you count coffee, yeah. i’ll do better tomorrow, i promise. speaking of tomorrow, we’ve got the psych exam, and i need to keep studying. i’ll call after the exam, so like three?”

”y/n.”

”yeah?”

”you do realize this exam is online, right? and at home?”

”uh, yeah.” you swallowed.

”and you have both a laptop and a phone?”

”lydia, what are you saying?” cheating. she was definitely talking about cheating.

”i’m saying, that you don’t really need to know the definitions, because our dear old pal google can be there to help you out with those. and you’re smart, so i assume you know the concepts.”

”you think very highly, of me, my dear.” you took another bite of pizza. “so, what you’re saying is, i wasted two days studying?”

”yes, that is exactly what i’m saying.”

”shit. wait, why were you studying?”

”ugh, because i am nowhere near as good as you at being able to understand things.”

”you know, definitions explain the concept too.”

”what are you saying?” asked lydia.

”i think we’ve both wasted a lot of time studying when we didn’t need to.”

”fuck.” lydia breathed.

”yeah, we’re both idiots. do you wanna watch something on netflix? you haven’t finished parks and rec yet, right?”

”no, i just finished an episode before you called me.”

”which one?”

”season four, episode seven.”

”wait, is the next episode smallest park? we need to watch that, like, now.”

@meangirlsx @meangirlmurphy @eliza-is-confused @boredomimi @book--butterfly

#beetlejuice #beetlejuice musical #beetlejuice braodway #beetlejuice fanfiction #lydia #lydia deetz #lydia x reader #lydia deetz x reader #fic

[brookscharis]

how to own your story

I have to share my shortcomings and weaknesses. I refuse any space for the enemy to put me in a little box lined with mirrors so I can hatefully stare at myself from every angle. If I was to live for myself and fulfill a self defined purpose, I would only focus on my strengths and show off my greatness - my great taste in music, clothes, media, etc. But now that God has revealed Himself to me and showed me how, compared to Him, I’m not great at all, I’ve allowed Him to fulfill His purpose for my life. Which is the same for all believers ––  to make Him and His greatness known, not our own. 

I wrench and twist with embarrassment and pain when I think about the things I’ve done. How I’ve treated people and even how powerless I feel in the present. I lack the clarity to truly see my actions or know if I’m still perpetuating the same patterns. The enemy tells me that I’ll never get it right, that I will always be in this infant state of never changing. But, good thing satan is named, “the Father of Lies.” It’s true that I will never get it right, that’s what helps me to stay dependent on God. I am an infant in the eyes of God, I’m His child and He’s my Father. However, I am a new creation that God has began a good work in that He is faithful to finish. 

I worry that I don’t deserve the mercy of God, even though I know I don’t. His mercy is a gift that doesn’t depend on what I do or who I am, but it’s just who He is. I often ask myself how I have the audacity to represent God when I’ve been so mercilessly selfish and defiant toward authority in my past. But it’s not audacity, it’s being obedient despite how I feel, we are called to be ambassadors of the Kingdom. I know I’m unworthy of the calling because I struggled with (and still struggle) with hating anyone and anything that got in the way of my desires. I played favorites and I never took no for an answer. And it was praised as “ambition” and being “determined”. But really, it severed close friendships in my life and led me to diva levels of pride. 

At the beginning of my Junior year in college, I cut off friendships that I had for 2 years -- cold turkey with no warning. As soon as I made that decision, I instantly regretted it and decided to run away from the seeds that I planted. I was interested in studying abroad, not by coincidence but because of convenience. It didn’t matter where I was going or what the program actually entailed, I impulsively poured all of myself into the process of fleeing the continent. I moved out of my dorm before Christmas break and went home to wait until February to leave for Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. 

While I was home, I kept replaying the details over and over. I cut off one in person and three others through Instagram DMs. I would jump from regret to “that’s what they get!” incessantly over and over again. My sudden rejection toward them felt justified because I felt like an outcast in the group, I only liked hanging out with one of them. Even though they would include me in plans sometimes, I had difficulty understanding the inside jokes or feeling wanted. I had a favorite friend and started developing friendships with the others because she was friends with them. I was fake, but I blamed them for a long time. I had so much resentment toward them that swelled into pride and it blinded me. It took being home, 3 months after cutting them off to realize that I was running from them because I was wrong. I despised the connection they had with each other to the point where I didn’t even value them as people. I let hatred and jealousy keep me from respecting them enough to end a 2 year friendship face to face. I was a coward. I hated myself for a very long time. Every day my brain would go on a loop, “you’re toxic, you’re trash, you’re emotionally abusive, you’re a narcissist, you’re an abuser.” My thoughts were debilitating me and I let them, I felt like this was the proper punishment for what I did. I felt like I needed to condemn myself. 

But rewind to before I made it home for Christmas break, I was in the Chicago airport and I missed my flight. I had a layover for about 2 hours so I decided to find a place to chill. While sitting down and thumbing through YouTube video recommendations on my feed, I found “Wretched TV.” The first video I saw was of a tall skinny, Abraham Lincoln looking white man on a podium debating theology with college students. They asked the hard questions about Christianity that I could never answer as a believer. I was captivated by the certainty and logic of the man’s answers and I found myself going down a rabbit hole. I thought this was my first introduction to the world of apologetics, however, before this I saw Preston Perry do the same thing in a more conversational manner on his channel “BOLD TV”.

“Wretched TV” led me to “Living Waters Ministry” videos and that channel changed my life forever. This was the first time someone ever broke down the gospel for me in a way that I could understand. I could see the full magnitude of my sin and the holiness of God. Ray Comfort (the guy in those videos) referenced the verse, “No one is good, no not one.” (Romans 3:10) And in that moment, I had a hope that I couldn’t explain. I felt like I was a good person before I did my friends dirty, but now that I made that mistake, I was a good as filthy rags to be disposed of. But this man, Ray Comfort, was telling me – actually, a stranger that he was interviewing in his videos – that we are all in danger of eternal punishment, even if we think we’re a good person. Because to be “good” is to be morally excellent, which only God is. The standard isn’t even based on doing “good” things or deeds in order to appease God, it’s placed on doing it from a genuine heart posture that wants to serve God. “All have fallen short of the glory of God.” (Romans 3:23) After I watched one video, I watched another, and another and another. The questions I had about faith that I was never comfortable enough to ask in church were given answers in these videos. I finally felt like I was getting it! I finally saw Jesus as the God who doesn’t want to condemn me for my life of sin, but wants to save me from my life of sin. 

Even though I grew up in church, I never heard the gospel as it’s own separate message, it was always just sprinkled into the sermon –– that Jesus died on the cross for our sins. I didn’t know what that meant and I didn’t really care. I knew that to keep things peaceful in my home, I needed to go to church with my family and pray before I ate dinner. Later on in high school and early college, when I was distant from God and believed in astrology, law of attraction, angel numbers, and pursued a same sex relationship, I still prayed in Jesus’ name. I knew of Him in a religious sense, but not in a personal way. In 2018, when I had enough of the confusion and darkness of new age beliefs, I surrendered everything, including my sexuality to God –– I fasted, worshipped, went to church, and was even baptized –– but I did all of this from the wrong place in my heart. I did it to earn favor and love from Jesus, I did it because I wanted Him to change me and make me a better person. I didn’t know that He already loved me so much that He sacrificed His own life for me, before I ever wanted Him. He did that just in case I wanted a relationship with God. Just so I could be saved from the torment of sin and be right with Him. I was already favored and chosen by Him. Even while I was His enemy, He kept me and protected me. Once I realized that, I clearly saw Jesus as my savior and friend. It didn’t feel like a religious story anymore, it became reality and I could clearly see that there is no other way to the Father. I want to know Him more out of gratitude, not obligation. If it wasn’t for the Holy Spirit drawing me near to God, if it wasn’t for those videos popping up on my feed to share the gospel with me, if it wasn’t for God’s word being truth and Him revealing it to me –– I would still be tormenting myself over my mistakes. 

Like Romans 8:1 says, “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” Actually, you should take the time to read all of Romans 8. 

We are not the hero in our story, it’s always God. He is our Redeemer and our Restorer. If it wasn’t for God’s mercy on me, I would not have this blog. I would not post Tik Toks about His love and how to grow closer to Him. I would be bound by the past and the opinions of others would still be my god (I still struggle with this, but I’m learning how to surrender more and more everyday). I am a new creation with a heart of flesh and not stone, I was spiritually dead and now I am alive, I was truly lost but now I am found. I was blind but–– ya’ll get the point.

I did nothing to be in this position. I didn’t see much of a choice when deciding to follow God or continue in the darkness and confusion of my life of sin. I hated my life, so I gave it away. Like Matthew 16:25 (NIV) says, “For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will save it.” He is love. One of the reason why I fell in love with following Jesus is that, as humans, we are to fully embrace how in need of God we are. How is anyone supposed to know Jesus as a savior if we front (or pretend) like we don’t need saving? The Christians around you who model being “perfect” need the most prayer because that’s pride. If we boast in our weaknesses, that’s when Christ’s power rests upon us (2 Corinthians 12:9). There’s no need to project a god-like image when Jesus didn’t even do that Himself (Philippians 2:5-11).

Your story is never supposed to show how strong and great you are, but how merciful and present God is in our times of trouble. When we are afflicted, He is with us. When we afflict others and do them wrong, He corrects us and is merciful. Share His greatness so other’s can have the same hope that you feel from reading my story. It’s not about us and it’s not about our reputations. It’s about making Christ known.

[a-goddamn-fool]

Alright it's 2020 I'm making a call right now

I think the next phase of popular music is going to be getting rid of the chorus of songs or at least minimizing it

Something I've noticed with the rise of tik tok is that artists have been releasing more and more music that can be used as sort of soundbites on the app, and they don't really care about the rest of the song. Sometimes the part used on tik tok is basically the whole song and when you listen to the whole song it's just that part looped over and over

Arts like music and literature tend to go through these sort of push and pull phases where each phase pushes back on the one before it (like realism and romanticism or the upbeat 80s music compared to the more subdued 90s music)

I think that in a couple years people are gonna get really sick of the repetitiveness of today's tik tok music (I know I am already) and will start pushing back on it by making things that barely repeat at all