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#i know it's been done to death (haha) and i already giffed this scene maybe even twice.
samuelroukin · 2 years
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OUR FLAG MEANS DEATH
izzy hands + That Scene's expressions [blackbeard]
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nikkoliferous · 3 years
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Phase One: Avengers (Part One)
With everything being about the LOKI series right now and me dreading it, I figured I'd distract myself by finally posting my thoughts on the Phase One: Avengers novel, which I seem to recall somehow being way worse than the Thor novel? I'm not completely convinced this thing wasn't ghostwritten by Taika Waititi; that's all I'm saying. Anyways, here we go.
(Quick note: please be aware that this overview is significantly Thor-critical. If that sort of thing bothers you, I do not recommend proceeding. You've been warned. Lol)
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Let's start off with a friendly reminder that SHIELD had four hours to evacuate before Loki showed up, shall we?
Dr. Selvig read an energy surge from the Tesseract four hours ago,” Coulson was saying.
“I didn’t approve going to testing,” Fury said.
Coulson nodded. “He wasn’t testing it. He wasn’t even in the room. Spontaneous event.”
So either they're grossly incompetent or grossly negligent, but either way those deaths are on them at least as much as they're on Loki. If not more so.
“It just turned itself on?” Hill sounded skeptical. Fury, as usual, was less interested in how they’d gotten there than in what they were going to do next.
[...]
Selvig acknowledged him briefly and then returned his attention to the monitoring equipment. “Director, the Tesseract is misbehaving.”
“Is that supposed to be funny?”
“No, it’s not funny at all. The Tesseract is not only active, she’s… behaving.”
Fury didn’t comment on the doctor characterizing the Tesseract as female. He also wasn’t interested in Selvig’s notions about its personality. It didn’t have a personality. It was a cube containing energy, and all Nick Fury wanted was to know how to control that energy. “I assume you pulled the plug.”
Fury having no intellectual curiosity explains a lot, tbh. Like how he thinks Loki "kills because it's fun", even though nothing about their prior interaction indicates that. Like, at all. Loki killed only the agents who were attacking him. Because he felt threatened. If he indeed killed for the fun of it, he would have taken them all out and been done with it. Doing so would have both entertained him and made for a much smoother getaway.
“She’s an energy source. We turn off the power, she turns it back on. If she reaches peak level—”
“We prepared for this, Doctor. Harnessing energy from space.”
“We’re not ready. My calculations are far from complete. And she’s throwing off interference radiation.”
Fury watched the Tesseract in its circular containment shell. Eight separate energy sensors built into a frame supporting that shell were designed to measure and conduct that energy. Those sensors in turn rested on stainless-steel support scaffolding. The whole setup sprouted cables and conduits. These were there to supply energy to the Tesseract in a controlled fashion so Dr. Selvig could analyze its reactions. Now they were all shut down, as Dr. Selvig had said, but even so, the Tesseract glowed with a fierce blue energy. It was starting to spill onto the sensors, arcing like electricity. But it wasn’t electricity. It was something much more exotic.
I also find it curious/amusing/something that Fury later accuses Loki of "stealing a force [he] can't hope to control". YOU'RE DESCRIBING YOURSELF, NICK. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO CAN'T CONTROL IT AND HAS BEEN ARROGANTLY PRETENDING YOU CAN.
The man looked up at them and smiled as he stood. He was not a large man, not remarkable in any particular way. He had long black hair and wore black leather clothing, similar to what Fury was wearing. However, he wasn’t a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent. Fury didn’t know where he had come from.
I beg to fucking differ lmao
Fury had the Tesseract in a steel carrying case and was taking a step toward the door when the stranger turned to him and said, “Please don’t. I still need that.”
Kudos to Loki for not forgetting his princely manners even while completely off his rocker. Lol
“This doesn’t have to get any messier,” Fury said. He glanced quickly around, trying to figure the fastest way out.
“Of course it does,” the stranger said. “I’ve come too far for anything else.”
TELL US WHAT YOU'VE BEEN THROUGH, LOKI. INQUIRING MINDS WANT TO KNOW.
“Loki?” Dr. Selvig said. He stood up from helping one of his fellow doctors, who was barely conscious. “Brother of Thor?”
“We have no quarrel with your people,” Fury said.
Loki acknowledged Selvig and then returned his attention to Fury.
By "acknowledged", the author means he rolled his eyes so hard he saw his own brain lmao
“I come with glad tidings,” Loki said. “Of a world made free.”
“Free from what?” Fury asked.
Turning back to him, Loki said simply, “Freedom. Freedom is life’s great lie. Once you accept that in your heart…” As he spoke the word “heart,” he turned and touched Selvig’s chest with the tip of his scepter, just as he had with Hawkeye. Selvig gasped, and the same change came over his face that Fury had seen in Hawkeye’s. “You will know peace.”
He's not simply deranged, you know. For Loki, this is actually true. He has never been free in his entire life, and won't be at any point after this either. Yes, there was also the torture and the mind control at play, but even underneath all that, is it any wonder he was vulnerable to the Thanos cult's brainwashing?
Hawkeye had been looking around the complex. Now he stepped up to Loki. “Sir, Director Fury is stalling. This place is about to blow and drop a hundred feet of rock on us. He means to bury us.”
Loki looked back at Fury, who said, “Like the pharaohs of old.”
“He’s right, the portal is collapsing in on itself!” Selvig called out from the monitors. “We’ve got maybe two minutes before this goes critical.”
Friendly reminder, once again, that Loki wasn't even aware the PEGASUS facility was on the verge of collapsing—let alone the cause of it.
“Well then,” Loki said. He glanced over at Hawkeye.
Without a word, Hawkeye drew his gun and shot Nick Fury once, dead center in the chest.
Two things:
1) Every time I see this scene in gifs, all I can think of is, "Pull the lever, Kronk." 🤣
2) So how does the direct mind control of the sceptre work anyway? Because Loki never actually gives Barton a command here. So does he sometimes communicate with his minions telepathically (sort of like The Other does with him), or does Barton just intuit his intent here, or what?
Maria Hill saw Hawkeye come out of the lab into the garage with Selvig, a liaison officer, and a stranger carrying a spear. He looked more like one of the people they’d been recruiting into the Avengers Initiative than an ordinary technician or S.H.I.E.L.D. agent. “Who's that?” she asked.
*sigh* In a just MCU, this would have been foreshadowing.
She jumped into a jeep and headed after them. Other S.H.I.E.L.D. vehicles followed, filled with agents. They roared along the underground access road that led up to the surface in the New Mexico desert. She was gaining on them and firing as she drove. Sooner or later, she’d be close enough to have a good shot at the stranger.
He had other ideas, though. When he saw the pursuing convoy get too close, he pointed his scepter at them. The tip of it flared bright blue, and a bolt of energy lashed out from it, striking the vehicle in front of Hill and shattering the right side of its passenger compartment. The vehicle slewed around and flipped, rolling and landing sideways across the road. They were blocked.
Interesting of Loki to go for the passenger compartment instead of the driver. Was anyone even sitting there? Just one more example in a long string of Loki being inexplicably merciful to his enemies, I guess. 🤷
They got around ahead of the truck, and Fury leaned out of the helicopter’s side door. He fired, emptying his clip. He could tell from the sparks that some of the bullets had hit, but he was too far away to see if they’d done any damage.
His real target was Loki, but he was protected by the cab of the truck. Fury couldn’t get a good shot at him.
Did Fury already forget that Loki is bulletproof, or...? I mean, I guess that's fair. Earlier, Hawkeye goes to draw his sidearm only minutes after the narration points out that the bullets already fired at Loki had bounced away harmlessly.
Leaning over the truck’s roof and keeping low, however, Loki could get a good shot at the helicopter. A blue bolt lanced out and struck the helicopter’s rotor assembly. All the control mechanisms went haywire, and the helicopter spiraled down out of the sky. The truck drove underneath them as they were about to crash, close enough that Fury could see the gloating expression on Loki’s face.
Haha, good for him.
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“Coulson, you know that Stark trusts me about as far as he can throw me,” she said.
“Oh, I’ve got Stark,” Coulson said. “You’ve got the big guy.”
Oh, Natasha thought. That big guy. She said something in Russian. It wasn’t polite.
This has nothing to do with Loki. It just made me laugh.
Nick Fury had called an emergency meeting of the World Security Council. They needed to know what had happened with the Tesseract, and they needed to know what he planned to do about it. He brought up holographic images of all the WSC members, with their faces and locations hidden. He did not know who they were, but S.H.I.E.L.D. reported to them.
Well, that doesn't sound problematic at all, does it?
“The Avengers Initiative was shut down.”
“This isn’t about the Avengers.” That wasn’t strictly true, but Nick Fury was no idiot. He wasn’t going to show all his cards to the World Security Council when he didn’t even know who they were.
I'm glad he at least recognizes the stupidity of working for people he doesn't know, but uh... debatable, otherwise. Lol
“This isn’t about personality profiles anymore,” Coulson said. He wasn’t giving up, and that irritated Tony even more than the fact he’d showed up right when the celebration of Stark Tower was supposed to be starting.
*cough*DIVA*cough*
Loki watched Dr. Erik Selvig work, preparing the Tesseract for the next phase of his plan. Technicians and soldiers scurried about on various errands. Loki did not know the details and did not care. They were beneath him. He had his eye solely on the greater prize. It was time to consult with the Chitauri and begin the next phase of the preparations.
Really? You expect me to believe that Loki, the master tactician with "a cunning mind far exceeding Thor and Odin’s", couldn't be bothered to know the details of his own plan? Um, how about no?
Deep space and a field of stars surrounded this rocky world. Pale blue lights glowed where the Chitauri had built their fortress. They gleamed in a set of stairs that climbed to the topmost tower. That was where Loki had made his bargain with the Chitauri: They would be his army and he would open a path to Earth for them. Once Earth was his, and Asgard as well, he would turn the Tesseract over to them.
At least that was what he had promised.
1) Who said anything about Asgard...?
2) Indicator that Loki never planned on actually turning over the Tesseract? I don't know why you'd include this line otherwise.
“Let them gird themselves,” he said. “I will lead them in glorious battle.”
“Battle?” the Chitauri warrior snorted. “Against the meager might of Earth?”
“Glorious,” Loki repeated. “Not lengthy. If your force is as formidable as you claim.”
He had intended to anger the Chitauri, and he had succeeded.
Personally, I saw this less as intending to anger and more as "Loki has no self-preservation instinct and literally cannot help himself". What's to be gained by intentionally pissing off The Other here?
“You don’t have the Tesseract yet.” The Chitauri leader rushed at Loki and stopped just short of him, claws raised. Loki did not move.
“I don’t threaten,” he said, though he was doing exactly that.
LOL
The Chitauri leader backed down but only a step. “You will have your war, Asgardian,” he growled. Then he too decided to make a threat. “If you fail, if the Tesseract is kept from us, there will be no realm, no barren moon, no crevice where he cannot find you. You think you know pain? He will make you long for something as sweet as pain.”
Loki flashed back into his awareness of Earth. He took a deep breath. The Chitauri did not frighten him… but he would have been a fool if he had not possessed a healthy respect for their leader, the mad Titan known as Thanos. For it was Thanos who had given Loki the scepter, and Thanos who had rallied the Chitauri to Loki’s cause… and Thanos who wished to possess the Tesseract for his own monstrous ends. One did not bargain lightly with Thanos—and one certainly did not fail to meet the terms of such a bargain.
Love how this book just repeatedly glosses over the obvious fact that Loki was tortured. In the first chapter, it makes zero mention of his stumbling or other signs of being weakened. Here, it completely omits the pain WE ALL SAW The Other inflict on him. Fuck this narrator, seriously.
Steve had a moment to look around. The commanding officer appeared to be a woman with short dark hair reeling off orders from near the center of the bridge. “S.H.I.E.L.D. Emergency Protocol 193.6 in effect,” she was saying after a series of status orders and acknowledgments. Steve didn’t know what protocol that was. At the moment, all he knew was that he was on a flying aircraft carrier… and wasn’t that enough? Amazing.
[....]
The Helicarrier disappeared from view. From the inside, it didn’t look any different, but Steve saw monitors from satellite feeds, and on those, the Helicarrier had simply become invisible. He corrected himself: He wasn’t just on a flying aircraft carrier. He was on an invisible flying aircraft carrier. The future was pretty… cool, was the word everyone used now.
I'm not the biggest Steve fan, but I will admit to finding his childlike awe over the Helicarrier slightly adorable. Lol
Side note: is someone on this thing coordinating with Air Traffic Control? I... really hope so.
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“What did it show you, Agent Barton?”
Barton turned to look at Loki. “My next target,” he said.
Loki nodded. “Tell me what you need.”
Barton took one his bows out of a case and snapped it into shape with a flick of his arm. “I need a distraction,” he said. “And a biometric ID.”
Why the change from "eyeball", I wonder? Seems random. Lol
Inside, Loki had been mingling with the crowd, taking on the appearance of an ordinary man with a walking stick. But as the president of the museum, one Doktor Heinrich Schäfer, began his welcoming speech, Loki decided it was time to make a dramatic entrance. He tapped the walking stick on the floor and it became his scepter. Immediately, to get the crowd’s attention, he aimed it at the nearest museum security guard and fired.
This... didn't happen?? At all??
Loki strode the rest of the way down the stairs and manhandled Schäfer over to a stone altar that was one of the museum’s prized ancient Norse relics. He slammed Schäfer onto his back, forcing a machine over his face. Schäfer cried out in pain and surprise as the machine shone blinding light into his face, holding his eyes open.
On the one hand, confirmation that Loki did not actually shred this dude's eye and he's probably fine. On the other hand, the author completely made up what just happened literally two sentences ago, so their credibility is a little suspect at the moment. Lol
A police car, alerted by the commotion, raced toward him. He blasted it with his scepter, and it spun out of control and crashed.
ACAB!
The crowd froze. Slowly the crowd knelt, and Loki reveled in their submission. “There,” he said. “Is this not simpler? Is this not your natural state? It’s the unspoken truth of humanity, that you crave subjugation. The bright lure of freedom diminishes your life’s joy in a mad scramble for power, for identity. You were made to be ruled. In the end, you will always kneel.”
He's talking about himself here. We all get that, right?
An old man in the middle of the crowd stood. Loki paused in his speech to regard this individual. Around him, all the copies of himself also looked at this old man.
“Not to men like you,” the old man said.
“There are no men like me,” Loki said.
No lies detected.
But Loki was tougher than he looked. He struck back with the scepter, forcing Captain America to parry until Loki found an opening and slammed the butt of the scepter into Captain America’s midsection, knocking him down. Captain America threw the shield again, but this time Loki was ready. He knocked it aside. It fell ringing to the stones of the plaza, and Loki had the tip of the scepter against the back of Captain America’s neck before the soldier could get back to his feet.
Correction: If he'd actually been trying to win, he would have used the tip. (Narrator: he was not trying to win).
A sudden storm rose around the Quinjet. Natasha looked at the instrument panel. There’d been no warning of heavy weather. “Where’s this coming from?” she wondered out loud.
At first, she thought that Loki was responsible. But that didn’t appear to be the case. He looked more nervous than anyone else on the jet.
Loki has Thor-induced PTSD. Understandable, tbh.
Thor let Loki fall well before they got to the ground.
Because Thor is an asshole.
So hey, as long as we're here, let's review how each member of Loki's family responds to the realisation that he's survived his suicide attempt.
Thor- manhandles him, angrily demands to know where the Tesseract is
Odin- refuses to even use his name, implies he should have either slaughtered him as an infant or left him to die
Frigga- tells him not to make things worse (fucking rich coming from the woman who exacerbated his trauma immeasurably by thrusting the throne upon him when he was at his most vulnerable)
Wild, man. I wonder why Loki's convinced his family doesn't give a shit about him. They seem like such loving people to me.
“I remember a shadow,” Loki said bitterly. “Living in the shade of your greatness. I remember you tossing me into an abyss. I who was and should be king!”
Because you would have destroyed Asgard, Thor thought. Just to impress our father, you would have annihilated all the Nine Realms. “So you took the world I love as recompense for your imagined slights? No. The Earth is under my protection, Loki.”
1) Actually, he was trying to save Asgard... from a war that YOU started, numbnuts. He went about it all wrong because he was having a fucking mental breakdown, but at no stage did he even really endanger Asgard, let alone come close to destroying it.
2) Um, what? Where the fuck in Loki's plan was annihilating anything other than Jötunheim? I see Thor shares his friends' impressive conclusion-jumping skills. Not surprising.
3) Thor, I mean this truly and without reservation: go fuck yourself.
Loki chuckled. “And you’re doing a marvelous job with that. The humans slaughter each other in droves while you idly fret. I mean to rule them, and why should I not?”
He... has a point.
“You think yourself above them?”
“Well, yes.”
At least Loki is honest about his condescension, Thor. You should try it sometime.
Suddenly furious, Loki raged at Thor. “I’ve seen worlds you’ve never known about! I have grown, Odinson, in my exile. I have seen the true power of the Tesseract, and when I wield it—”
“Who showed you this power?” Thor interrupted. “Who controls the would-be king?”
And he will never bring this up again. Ever.
Stepping right up to his brother, Thor shouted back. “Not here! You give up the Tesseract! You give up this poisonous dream!” Then he softened. “You come home.”
“I don’t have it,” Loki said. Furious, Thor brought Mjolnir to his hand, ready for battle.
Thor's sort of a one-solution kind of guy, huh? Somebody help me out here, because he's "changed" but his first instinct when he's not getting his way is still to react with intimidation and violence. Funny how that works.
Tony braked and skidded to a halt as the Asgardian rolled away from him, tearing up trees and brush as he went. He got to his feet and extended a warning hand. “Do not touch me again,” he said.
Oh, what's the matter, Thor? Do you not like being manhandled? That's weird because you sure do seem to enjoy doing the manhandling. 😕
“If he gives up the cube, he’s all yours. Until then…” Tony’s faceplate clamped back down. “Stay out of the way.”
He turned to walk back to a place where he could make a clean takeoff. “Tourist,” he muttered.
That was the last straw, apparently, because the next thing Tony knew, the Asgardian’s hammer had hit him about as hard as he’d ever been hit in his life. The force of the blow carried him through the trunk of a tree and laid him out flat in the dirt.
Please note that Thor was not being attacked. He once again used offensive violence against someone who hurt his feelbads. "Changed", my rear.
“Then prove it,” Cap said. “Put that hammer down.”
“Uh, no, bad call,” Iron Man said. “He loves his hammer—”
The Asgardian interrupted Tony by smashing him out of the way with a backhand swing. “You want me to put the hammer down?” he roared, and leaped high into the air, bringing his hammer down toward Captain America.
And again—not in any immediate danger, simply reacting with violence to something that made him angry.
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“Oh, I’ve heard. A mindless beast. Makes play he’s still a man. How desperate are you, that you call on such lost creatures to defend you?”
“How desperate am I?” Fury echoed. He walked slowly over the catwalk to stand in front of Loki. “You threaten my world with war. You steal a force you can’t hope to control. You talk about peace, but you kill because it’s fun. You have made me very desperate. You might not be glad that you did.”
This is called 'projection', kids. Projection, and making up stories about your enemies so they're easier to hate. Fury needs to show his work.
Loki knew he had been heard throughout the ship. He could hear the echoes of the speakers, and even if he had not, he always knew when people were listening to him. That was part of his power, to make them listen… and to make each of them hear something just a little different. Just what he wanted them to hear.
This doesn’t mean anything, does it??
Perhaps he was in a cage right now, but he had been in cages before. Not once had one been able to hold him for long.
This... has to be a reference to his time with the Black Order, right? There's certainly no basis for such a statement pre-2011.
Or the author is just on crack. That's very possible.
Thor took a step toward Bruce. “Have a care how you speak,” he warned. “Loki is beyond reason, but he is of Asgard… and he is my brother.”
“He killed eighty people in two days,” Natasha pointed out.
Citation needed, please.
“Well, I promise a stress-free environment. No tension, no surprises…” As he spoke, Tony walked behind Bruce and gave him a little zap with an electrical instrument.
“Ow!” Bruce said.
Tony looked closely at him. “Nothing?” He’d been testing Bruce to see how well he controlled the Hulk. The little shock hadn’t provoked any kind of unusual reaction, which Tony seemed to find a little disappointing.
Ok, but what exactly was Tony's plan if Bruce had Hulked out here? lmao
“Steve,” Bruce said, “tell me none of this smells a little funky to you.”
Cap looked back and forth between the two scientists. Bruce could tell he was struggling with something… but he also wasn’t going to share it. He was too much of a good soldier for that.
🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄
“Yeah. I’ll read all about it.”
“Or you’ll be suiting up with the rest of us.”
Bruce shook his head with a regretful smile. “No, see, I don’t get a suit of armor. I’m exposed. Like a nerve. It’s a nightmare.”
Bruce has BPD. Lol
No, you guys don't understand. That's literally what it feels like.
Thor watched over Coulson’s shoulder as the agent showed him S.H.I.E.L.D.’s current files on Jane Foster. When he had learned that Loki had captured Erik Selvig, his first thought had been of Jane. Thor had destroyed the Bifrost to save the Nine Realms, but he had also cut himself off from her… or so he had thought. It was a terrible decision to make, sacrificing love for duty—yet Thor had done it. If necessary, he would do it again. He hoped it would not be necessary, though, and that was one reason why he had asked Coulson about Jane.
Oh my god, Thor. You spent like, three days with her, max. And people call Loki the dramatic one...
Thor looked out into the sky, gathering his thoughts. “When I first came to Earth,” he went on, “Loki’s rage followed me here, and your people paid the price. Now, again. In my youth, I courted war.”
“War hasn’t started yet,” Fury said.
1) Correction: when your daddy threw you to Earth like a sack of trash down a cosmic garbage chute. You were not here on vacation, bro.
2) No, Loki's rage followed your treasonous friends.
3) LAST YEAR. YOUR 'YOUTH' WAS LAST YEAR.
4) *committed mass murder over an insult
“You think you could make Loki tell us where the Tesseract is?”
This possibility hadn’t occurred to Thor. “I do not know,” he said. “Loki’s mind is far afield. It’s not just power he craves. It’s vengeance, upon me. There’s no pain that would pry that need from him.”
1) Opposing Thor = being crazy. Noted.
2) Not everything is about you, buddy. At the risk of repeating myself, this is the guy I'm supposed to believe learned humility? Really? Where?
3) Please note that Thor does not object to torturing Loki because it's immoral or because the thought of hurting Loki pains him. He objects because he doesn't believe it will work.
Thor held Fury’s gaze. It was not the first time he had looked at a one-eyed man who posed him a difficult question. “What are you asking me to do?” he asked, wanting Fury to be clear and to own his words.
“I’m asking what you are prepared to do,” Fury said quietly.
“Loki is a prisoner,” Thor said. He thought Fury was testing him, seeing if he would violate his ideals to find out something they all needed to know. But Thor would not.
"I'm okay with physically assaulting prisoners if they make me mad, but I suddenly draw the line at torture. Even though my 'ideals' didn't appear to be a concern two sentences ago."
If I feel like being generous to Thor, maybe he initially hoped Fury would back off if he just said torture wouldn't work, and then Thor wouldn't have to risk appearing... soft? Weak? I don't know.
“But you figured I’d come,” she said.
“After,” Loki said. “After whatever tortures Fury can concoct, you would appear as a friend, as a balm. And I would cooperate.” It was a typical approach. Cause misery, and then let someone appear as a friendly face. The miserable person would say anything to keep this friend. Loki had seen strong men break this way, many times.
I'm not sure why the author felt the need to depersonalize this by talking about other men. Loki knows this experience intimately. It's what he's endured his entire life at the hands of his "loving" family. The torture just wasn't physical then as far as we know.
An interesting story, Loki thought. She has much to atone for. He could hear some of her memories, from before her first encounter with Barton. Little girl, he thought, you’ve done some very bad things. And now you think you owe Clint Barton your life… but there is more to it. Loki could tell there was something in her mind that he was not quite uncovering. He pushed a little more.
Is... is this text implying that Loki can read people's minds/memories even without touching them?
“Can you?” he asked. “Can you wipe out that much red?” He listed for her some of the things he knew she had done. “Dreykov’s daughter… São Paulo… the hospital fire? Barton told me everything.” This was a lie. Barton had told Loki certain things about Romanoff, but he was also guessing some others.
He... guessed the details of these very specific incidents? What? lmao
He pushed ahead. Now that he understood her, he could break her. “Your ledger is dripping, it’s gushing red, and you think saving a man no more virtuous than yourself will change anything? Pathetic. You lie and kill in the service of liars and killers. You pretend to be separate, to have your own code, something that makes up for the horrors, but they are part of you and they will never go away.”
He's talking about himself again. 🥺
For some reason, this book skips right over the part where Loki threatens both Barton's and Natasha's lives. Not sure why; the author clearly has no problem depicting Loki as an unhinged psychopath most of the time. Oh well, whatevs.
Loki couldn’t understand how she had gathered her composure so quickly—and then he did understand. She was a superb actress! Or not even an actress, for he could see through a conscious performance. She was something else. She had been broken down and remade so many times, with so many identities, that she could put them on and take them off at will. And Loki had gotten lost in those emotional costume changes.
He had been outwitted by a mortal. Unthinkable.
Yeah, phew, it's a good thing Natasha figured it out in time. Otherwise, something terrible might have happened—like Bruce Hulking out and rampaging through the Helicarrier. Oh, wait...
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“I was wrong, Director,” Cap said. “The world hasn’t changed a bit.” He looked angry and disappointed. Captain America was a big believer in shooting straight and telling the truth. He didn’t like spies and he didn’t like lies, and now he saw he was knee-deep in both.
This novel's hero worship of Steve Rogers is going to kill me. 🙄
“I’d like to know why S.H.I.E.L.D. is using the Tesseract to build weapons of mass destruction,” Bruce finished.
“Because of him,” Fury said, pointing at Thor.
“Me?”
“Last year, Earth had a visitor from another planet who had a grudge match that leveled a small town,” Fury said. “We learned that not only are we not alone, but we are hopelessly, hilariously, outgunned.”
Has anyone figured out yet how this line doesn't conflict with Captain Marvel? Is Fury lying to hide her existence for some reason? Or is this just one of those things that we're supposed to shrug and pretend wasn't retconned?
“A nuclear deterrent,” Tony said. “Because that always calms everything right down.”
“Remind me again how you made your fortune, Stark,” Fury said coldly.
On the one hand, yes, good point. But on the other hand, he... stopped making them? So clearly, he no longer thinks they are a good thing?
And also, not to gloss over his past sins, but wasn't Tony born rich? Lol
“I thought humans were more evolved than this,” Thor commented.
Tony turned on Thor. “Excuse me, did we come to your planet and blow stuff up?”
Didn't Fury say this in the movie? Why did the author give the line to Tony instead? There are all these... weird changes in the story that are so minor I have no idea why the author made them. Very confusing.
Just like that, all of them were arguing. Cap and Tony were nose to nose, while Bruce and Natasha fired remarks back and forth. Thor stood off to the side, contempt plain on his face.
'Cause he also thinks he's superior to humans. 🙃
Tony and Cap squared off over an argument that they couldn’t even remember starting. Tony was still mad about the last thing Cap had said to him… whatever it was.
In case there was any doubt about the sceptre being the reason everyone starts losing their shit with one another.
Cap stood his ground. “Big man in a suit of armor. Take that off, what are you?”
Tony had an answer ready for this one. “Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist.”
Hey Steve? You know he invented the suit, right? Like. The suit is literally him.
“Put on the suit,” Cap said. “Let’s go a few rounds.”
Steve putting out big Joe Biden, "listen, fat..." energy here lmao
Thor laughed. “You people are so petty… and tiny.”
Thor, my dude. You literally started a war over being emasculated in front of your friends. I don't think you get to judge other people for being petty.
Fury could see things were spiraling out of control. He started trying to get them all back on track. “Agent Romanoff,” he said, “would you escort Dr. Banner back to—”
“Where?” Bruce interrupted. “My room? You rented my room.”
Nobody had said it out loud, but they all knew the cell currently holding Loki was designed for the Hulk.
What was their plan for containing the Hulk if necessary after sticking Loki in his cage, anyway? Did they even have one?
“Dr. Banner,” Cap said. “Put down the scepter.”
Bruce looked down. He hadn’t even known he’d picked it up.
Why does that sound familiar...?
Even though he could see what was going on, the hostility in the air was still thick enough that Bruce didn’t know whether he could back everyone down… or whether he could back himself down. He could feel tension rising inside him. He could feel the monster trying to get loose.
And yet none of them so much as considers the idea that the sceptre might be having a similar effect on Loki? Ok then.
But even though he was now refocused on the mission, the others still bickered. Loki had gotten into their heads, sowing discord and setting them against each other.
lmao I'd just like to note that Loki didn't actually do anything. This was all them and the effects of just being near the sceptre. #ThanksLoki
“The Tesseract belongs to Asgard,” Thor said.
Why, though?
“I’ll go after it,” Tony said.
“No you don’t,” Cap said, stepping into his way. He wasn’t ready to forget the way Tony had insulted him.
Ok, first of all, you started it. But also, seriously, Steve, that's your number one priority right now? Earth's mightiest heroes, ladies and gentlemen... lol
I have apparently managed to hit the paragraph limit, so we'll return after this short break, I guess. 🙈
↪️ On to Part Two
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was feeling super emo and finished my S15 watchthrough ahead of schedule!!
thoughts are below the cut, some gems include: -i physically rip my shirt open during the confession scene -gay angels are bad but lucifer gets to say “cuck” on screen -dean should have gone to hell when he died at the end but ACTUALLY HANG ON THIS WOULD FIX EVERYT-
S15E18
literally the empty doesn't have another speaking role after the library despite being a major player and a big bad?? incredibly half assed writing and planning.
dean literally gets cas killed for no reason though. like, all of cas’ other deaths had very clear cause and effect, but the cause and effect here is that if dean hadn't randomly decided to put down his god killing boner to go and kill billie instead then cas would still be alive. this isn’t me being dean critical (though it kinda is) it’s just a really half assed redundant writing choice that doesn't hold up?
i no joke tore my shirt open during the confession scene because after seeing all the gifs i thought i was already over it i had already done so much exposure therapy to the confession scene i was NOT expecting it to hit the way it did, i was NOT prepared i went to clutch my pearls but i was in fact wearing a crewneck instead and she did not make it :( my last surviving college shirt :(
S15E19
i hate the dog im sorry waste of screentime considering plus i can never fucking trust this show around a dog, all 3 dog based episodes have been weird as fuck.
CAS PHONE CALL AFS SGAGAGSW HW DID YAL WATCHTTHIS LIVE WITHIUT LOSING ITi know it’s JUST the devil bu afsgdgsgs HOW DID YALL WATCH THIS SHIT LIVE OH MY GOD dadsdAGSFAGSFGASFG. and then after this convincing heart wrenching performance dean promptly forgets that cas exists.
they literally brought satan back. gay angels no but satan yes.
cw really said: satan can come back for one last fake redemption arc haha he tricked you!! but the gay angel STAYS in turbo hell where he belongs.
also lucifer gets to say "cuck" twice. gay angels?? very bad and we can’t show that kind of behavior on screen. but we CAN say cuck not once but twice (and once more in a flashback)
Dean asking jack to come back to the bunker with them to come back home and be a family again and they’ll fix things up and make the place nice and be a family...
(I’m feeling dean critical right now cause of all the shitty writing but this was still REALLY SAD objectively one of the saddest parts of the finale was jack loosing his father his personhood his freedom and his future and dean loosing the last link to cas he had left)
Dean: "what do you mean of course he's gonna come back to the bunker" Jack: "Dean I’m not coming back home" (literally dean told jack he wasn’t family but that’s still jack’s HOME and he SAYS IT)
a song montage of the shows greatest hits where they show dean's handprint scar and also Zachariah but NOT CAS at all until towards the end which was almost worse than not showing him at all. literally Zachariah  got an equal amount of screentime what the fuck. cw really said angel equality not angel equity!!
S15E20
me watching this episode for first time in nov as my first ever spn epsiode: whats wrong with this man why is he acting like this?
me now after mainlining 12 seasons in 2 months: whats wrong with this man why is he acting like this?
-did they tell jackles to pretend like he was being penetrated for this scene? very weird vibes of "it's in me" “this thing is in me” "it's going all the way through me" “i can’t move it’s in me” "just gimme a minute" “wow this things really in me”
-the goodbye scene doesn't even work dean was lit trying to kill sam with a gun 3 eps ago. like, the show being about brothers against the world at the end doesn't even work they've done nothing to earn even the illusion of this. do you guys maybe think its possible that the show evolved away from this at some point during the last 15 years?????????
- having the john winchester family portrait on sams wall. bitch literally who even is that??? and not a single photo of cas OR JACK. literally you can tell me no photos of cas ok sounds fake but sam would def hang photos of him and jack??
-NOBODY REMEMBERS JACK IN ANY WAY???
-they should have sent dean to hell last minute. it would have been really funny and honestly more narratively cohesive. and also did i mention VERY FUNNY. dean winchester who stabbed death got his best friend killed cause he had a revenge boner, tried to sacrifice his kinda son like twice, tricked amara into helping him, yadda yadda these are just from the last few eps there are a ton more. just saying it would be very funny if dean got sent to hell for one if not all of those things.
(not even being dean critical i just think it would be very funny. a reverse lily sunder if you will)(and then cas could pull him out of hell again)
- huh. maybe dean is in hell, maybe this is actually his own personal hell, just trapped wandering forever and his father lives down the road and no matter how hard he drives he never gets anywhere, the road he used to love being twisted against him while actors posture about his life on a bridge......huh................
-if dean dies and goes to hell THEN cas can come pull him out again as a big reveal!!!! forget the onion field forget lamp can you imagine ending the series that way???? the balls that would have taken??? THE FUCKING PAYOFF???????????????!! LAZARUS RISING 2.0!!! someone please shoot me i can’t bear holding this knowledge in my mind for the rest of my life.
///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
All in all I’m very disappointed and very glad that this show does not exist outside the minds of it’s fans. very happy that the secret bad version of supernatural that aired on tv during a pandemic has been so thoroughly de-fanged by everyone’s constant efforts these past few months cannot thank you all enough <3<3<3
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scrapyardboyfriends · 4 years
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Caught up on 3 weeks of Emmerdale that I’ve been avoiding. Haha. I definitely needed that 3 week break though because I was not ready to just move on from Robert that first week after he left. And binge watching it all way after the fact makes it a lot more palatable and certain parts of it less painful because I’d seen all the Aaron stuff in gifs already and I’d already gotten a lot of my frustrations out about all that. 
Of everything from these last three weeks, I think I’ve enjoyed the Lydia stuff the most. I mean I hate the thought of them giving her a ticking time bomb of an eventual death sentence with this Huntington’s thing but I think it’s great that they’re expanding her family and giving her more focus. It’s hard to believe that she started out as a bit part grief counselor that Jimmy met for a comedy plot. She’s become such a great character since then and it’s so nice to see. 
I also enjoyed the general teen focus. I mean, the Sarah/Danny stuff is really kind of random and I don’t really know where they’re going with all of that but I like that her need to experience more of life has given the teens more to do. And I like her and Noah hanging out and him sort of trying to look out for her. And Samson having something to say about it all. It’s been really nice seeing Gabby again. I’ve missed her. I hope they do give her a real storyline again some day but until then, it’s nice seeing her in a background and supporting role. I like her actually being friends with Leanna now and I’ve liked seeing her and Leanna and Dee Dee altogether even if Dee Dee’s accent still drives me insane. Haha. 
I wasn’t sure what the Jacob stuff was going to be like from the live blogging I’ve been reading but it wasn’t quite as bad as I thought it would be. I mean, boy still needs therapy badly because he’s clearly so messed up. But I’m glad Maya getting out did at least bring all of this stuff back up and give it a chance to escalate and arrive at some kind of attempt at closure. I still think it would have been better to do this months ago rather than letting it sit for this long but I’m glad it wasn’t dropped and that they built on everything that they’d done before with Priya too. I’m still not sure Jacob totally gets what Maya did to him but hopefully he’s at least starting to. I do agree that David’s methods were not the best and haven’t been since he found out because he should have gotten him help ages ago instead of leaving him to fend for himself and hoping he’d just get over it. I guess we’ll see where it goes from here. It does break my heart that he equates people being nice to him with wanting to have sex with him. That is not good. 
I felt bad for Leanna in the whole thing but again, it was nice to have a focus on teen stories and let Gabby support her a bit and I liked Liv FINALLY being able to talk to people her own age and have coffee with Gabby and yell at Jacob. This is where Liv needs to be more often. 
The Vanity break up stuff was interesting. I still don’t like that this break up came off the back of the casino job which seemingly came out of nowhere. The thing is that their break up addressed very real issues, which I believe that they would have. I liked that they tied in Vanessa’s visit with her mum and how she felt about Frank into how Vanessa feels about Charity doing all of her scheming. It’s just that I don’t think we got enough of that stuff before this to have this be some kind of payoff. They’ve been too lax with them. They haven’t been sharing as many scenes. They have sort of forgotten their wedding prior to it now being an excuse Charity was saving money. So even though the break up made a lot of sense for their characters in terms of the issues they were fighting about, I don’t think the build up was there. And certainly the fallout wasn’t. I kind of preferred them broken up and just being bad at it because they were still talking all the time. That’s the most interested in them I’ve been in them in a while. Although since there was zero build up to their break up drama, I’m not sure how it could have lasted much longer than it did considering that they kept having scenes together anyway and there was really not much stopping them getting back together. But I think they should have let it go on for way longer and tried to find something in there to make it worth while rather than just Charity swearing she’ll change. But who knows, maybe this won’t last and this was papering over the cracks and Charity will screw up again as she always does and then they’ll have a longer break up and they’ll get more out of it. 
On a Cain and Moira front...god. Hahaha. I was cracking up at that scene where she was just trying so hard to find a reason why she had the affair. Because there wasn’t one. It was dumb. Haha. That story is still such a mess. I did like Moira and Laurel talking though. That was nice. I just really can’t stand watching Cain and Moira in scenes together right now. I hope they keep them apart for a good long while. I was glad to see Matty and Vic and Amy all speaking to each other because of this plot though. So I guess there’s that.
Everything involving Kerry is still awful. I can’t believe she’s just going to get away with all of this Frank stuff. And Amy too. I mean, there’s obviously a very real possibility it will all come out in the end. These things usually do. But then...many many people still don’t know who shot Robert. So...who knows. But it’s bad. I’m very done with Kerry. And I hope they don’t put her back with Dan because what’s the point? And if they don’t do that, why is she even there at all at this point? Amy at least is still a mostly viable character even though I still want the truth to come out for her too just so she can move on from that. 
The Arthur/Archie stuff was...a thing. It’s a lot. I mean I don’t know that Arthur would really go quite that dark so suddenly but it��s an interesting concept. A little curious and a little scared of where it will go. But both kids are doing a good job with it. Also glad Jai and Laurel are back on track for the moment. 
Graham and Rhona is umm...also a thing. Haha. It’s not terrible but he’s still so robotic it’s weird. Obviously not going to last though so who cares. It is what it is for now and it’s more tolerable than him hanging onto Kim. 
Speaking of Kim, I have no idea why she’s taken a sudden interest in Nate. Or why she’d be giving him Wylie’s if that’s true. All so weird. 
The Billy/Dawn stuff is cute. They’re very sweet together. Was it Billy that whacked Al over the head though? Cause that seems a bit extreme. I guess we’ll find out. I do like Marlon still getting involved in Billy stuff though. I’m glad they’re keeping that relationship alive. 
Chas and Paddy are still pretty insufferable. I just really hate them together. Haha. I don’t get it. And I think it’s weird we don’t really see Paddy being a hands on dad. I mean I know the story was about Chas this past week with the feeding stuff but even still, we’ve barely seen him interacting with her. It’s weird. Especially for someone so intent on having a biological child. It’s really a shame how much they’ve ruined Paddy as a character for me over the last few years. 
The car stuff with Cain and Aaron was pretty uninspiring. I agree with that assessment from my dash. It was more about Cain but it wasn’t even interesting from his point of view either. It felt really lazy. As far as Charity goes and whose fault it was. I’m kind on team no one. They were all in the wrong really. Charity shouldn’t be forcing her kids on people who can’t actually watch them and especially not two days in a row. And Cain and Aaron shouldn’t have been doing what they were doing. Also Chas was just sort of wrong altogether and she annoys me. 
On the Aaron front...it did hurt way less so far after the fact to watch him smash up the photo and throw all of Robert’s stuff away. Although it hurt seeing him fold up the good two toned maroon jumper. You should keep that Aaron. It’s his best jumper. Wear it yourself. I’m still concerned the show isn’t going to give Aaron a proper emotional payoff in the end but oddly the random little scenes this past week gave me more hope for that than anything because he just looks so empty and like he’s going through the motions, apologizing to keep everyone else happy so his feelings aren’t inconveniencing them. I mean obviously we have those insane terrorizing Wendy spoilers so he is going to go further off the rails. I’m nervous how it’s all going to be framed on a Wendy front though. 
On principle, I still hate that Wendy is around. And Luke. It just makes me uncomfortable that they’re still trying to show her as a good helpful person and portray her as a victim when she hasn’t even apologized to Vic for harassing her and calling her a liar. I’m kind of dreading everything coming up on that front. But I’ll probably just binge it all after the fact so maybe it won’t be so bad. 
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ralfstrashcan · 5 years
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3x16 Reaction / Commentary
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Alec “Proud Puppy” Lightwood
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THAT FACE HAHA. Also crêpes man I'm jealous.
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Rude man, don't rip him away from his hard earned waffles.
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This is so hilarious to me, okay, this prompting hand flick Alec does (which you can't see here because I can't gif, only screenshot ahahaha) man I love it. Sadly I didn't find a gif of this yet, so I can't put one :( I can't even put into words why it's so hilarious to me. And Magnus's sceptical gaze hahaha.
Edit: I FOUND ONE
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HAHAHA HELL YEAH
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I mean we all knew this was fake, not least because it implies Magnus is wearing the same outfit two days in a row and obviously this would NEVER happen, but also because in no universe does Alec have smooth dance moves. It's a law of nature.
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lol is this an innuendo or something because I don't get it, pls help
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Tiny waist touch is spotted and highly appreciated.
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That scene transition was brilliant and there is nothing else to say about it. I lost count of how many times I've rewatched it because it's awesome. The way Alec's voice sounds slighty off, the way Magnus gets heavier in his arms, the way everything spins out of focus, and Alec's last “Stay with me” sounds almost hard with urgency.
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When I first saw this I was legit yelling at the screen why the hell Alec is just shaking him instead of, idk, doing CPR but I did him a grave injustice there because he actually does and I really appreciate that. (Though, if he learned first aid I wonder all the more about 3x12 (or was it 3x13, I lost count lol) where he just lets Sentry Guy die without even trying to save him.)
That being said, I'm really happy we got to see the immediate aftershocks of it because I was half afraid this episode would just start with Magnus in the infirmary bed. Still, I have a question. Who called Catarina? Izzy? Because why is she then so shocked when she learns Magnus is not breathing? When she presumably first entered the room to receive the instruction to call Catarina, did she not... wonder why Alec was cpr-ing him? Or did Magnus not immediately stop breathing after collapsing but just, faded slowly while Alec had already told Izzy to call Catarina? I kinda wanna know the mechanics here.
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I mean, no surprise there if you keep killing them?? Ahahaha.
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My fangirl brain: What, General Amaya from the Dragon Prince is gonna appear? Sign me the hell up!!!! My rest-brain catching up: No this is not a crossover and no, r is not y and just, no. My fangirl brain: :<
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........ignoring the fact that summoning her is super stupid, there's also the tiny detail that they don't have leverage why would she help them are they just gonna say “pretty please”?? I can't believe them.
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lol Bohemian if you see this, this panel is only for you to haunt your dreams XD hehehe sorry sorry but I just couldn't resist XD
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Wtf I can't believe those words just came out of his mouth. Jace, you're gonna start with a pep talk? You were possessed and forced to do things against your will, you should know better than this. Honestly.
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The way his voice goes up, just kill me now.
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THIS DETAIL OH MY GOD
I absolutely loved this scene, in terms of acting it was perfect and it was painfully in character for Alec to blame himself for everything that's not going alright with someone he loves. The problem I have however (because come on, there's always a problem with me) is that they genuinely want to tell me that Alec didn't realize Magnus was faking it? Magnus loses his magic and he “doesn't think twice”? I mean, that's either really really insensitive or really really stupid. And Alec might be insensitive sometimes, but not like that and he surely isn't that stupid. So, uh, I don't really like that bit. Again, if he was secretly happy that Magnus's immortality is gone that's one more thing to feel intensely shitty about, I get that, but being secretly glad how things turned out and not realizing the other person is suffering from how things turned out are two entirely different things. And just, tf Alec. He can't possibly be that dense, can he, that he genuinely thought Magnus was okay with this. Even if he thought this was something Magnus could get used to in the long run, he didn't expect him to need some kind of settling-in period? Really??
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HELL YEAH I STAN CAT SO HARD IN THIS SCENE. And I'm so glad she's the voice of reason in this.... after deigning to appear at long effing last ahahaha sorry not sorry for that dig XD Look it's not her fault, it's the screen writers'.
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I got a soft spot for Simon calling her Fray. Also, high-key loving how they're all sitting there waiting for news and finally acknowledging that something's up with Magnus.
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LOL CLARY TELL US HOW YOU REALLY FEEL. Kidding. It was the Evil Rune at work again, even though she's nowhere near fire. Maybe it was the hypnotic neon lights? In any case, this is becoming a real problem lol. (No, tbh I found that outbreak totally hilarious XD)
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.............................*sigh* I mean, your fierce determination doesn't change the fact that this plan is doomed to fail and you still don't have any leverage over Lilith, but sure. Go off.
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YEAH BECAUSE AS SHE PROVED SHE HAS COMMON SENSE. Though I really hope she also told Alec about this dumb-ass request by his dumb-ass parabatai so he can intervene. But, tbh I don't really expect that to happen. *sigh*
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Kill herself and then revive herself, hoping a short moment of death is enough to severe the connection? Or maybe, uh, try to use her rune power to cancel her Evil Rune instead of summoning Lilith??? Just for starters.
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WTF I CAN'T BELIEVE I'D SEE THE DAY WHERE  J A C E  IS THE VOICE OF REASON WTF COLOR ME IMPRESSED I LOVE IT
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“See, I infused it with a strong dose of Plot Convenience, so that shouldn't be an issue.”
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THE PORTRAIT IN THE BACKGROUND HAHAHAHAHAHA
“Why? Why do you hate him so much?” “It's simple. All my life I've had to sit by and watch...”
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Thanks for 100% confirming my headcanon, I do love that :)
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BAM!!!
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I really like the detail that he's so out of breath from the magic, it shows that it was probably more harmful that just a shove back? Oh the questions I want to ask.....
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Bitch you're 484 don't round down so much hahaha
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Is Lorenzo actually gonna be swayed by this????????????????????? uh
Edit: Ahahaha we later learn he actually is and obviously I had to write a ficlet about it, so uuuuh whatever I'll put it at the end with all my other shameless self promo I'll include in this thing XD
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OH YEAH I remember the “Different outfits for different occasions” comment from 2x19 I wonder what she'll wear? The same, or even older??? Btw why does she share a smile with Meliorn as if this is a private joke? Because, like, it isn't.
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I mean that's touching and all, but that doesn't change the fact that Lilith loves you and seeing you dead would absolutely tear her apart, thus making this a fitting revenge. Wtf Jonathan this is no sound counterargument.
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Hm. Tbh I liked her youngest self best? But she's still cast very well. And I recognize that her talking face to face with Jonathan would have been a little ridic if she only reached his navel XD
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Ugh, Bohemian, can you see me rolling my eyes?
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lol at least this was funny
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OMG Luke could you be any more dramatic, are you actually kidding me. I'm gonna be sick soon if you don't cut the bs.
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Wow the first sign of Sizzy that didn't suck, yay! XD this was actually pretty sweet.
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Oh you mean that time that Raphael was feeding on her and they were indulging in mutual addiction? Because as soon as Izzy was clean she steered clear of Raphael.
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..............................................what happened to “scumbag ex”? Why am I even asking?
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?? Yeah? What happened to “While Saia lasted it was the best thing ever?” Then again that was what, three episodes ago? Can't hold him accountable for something that happened so long ago, right.
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Hahaha okay that was cute.
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1) LOL how hilarious would it be if they summon Lilith and just get her corpse plus Jonathan holding the sword still sticking out of her chest. 2) Jonathan is a true sadist, making her wear those heels. 3) Who's that wheelchair for? I mean, Lilith designed this apartment for her disciples, right?
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.................which she doesn't need, since she's no warlock and her powers come from her angel blood, not ley lines. So, points for trying, show, but please don't mix up your races. Makes you look so unprofessional. (Except if this is a hint that shadowhunters also run on ley line energy, have ley line magic flowing through them etc. but honestly I'm not even entertaining the thought because then I'd have a conniption.)
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Wtf it's literally standing twenty seconds of intense mindnumbing pain, why the hell would you need a coach for that? Just hold it together and endure it. Also, if they attempt it, 20 bucks say he'll die for some dramatic Sizzy “Oh shit you could really have died, too” moment.
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Awww you can really see the love in that touch. <--- sarcasm.
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Awww you can really see the love in that touch. <--- no sarcasm.
Honestly, Magnus's touch is natural and familiar (btw love the uncoordinated grabbing) while Alec turns Magnus's chin as if he's trying to make as little physical contact as humanly possible. Is a hand on his cheek really too much to ask for? *sigh*
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lol you'd think he'd start with that immediately after Magnus wakes up instead of taking risks (it's what I would have done) but whatever.
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He's.... actually there to help? For free? Or is Alec gonna have to hand over the Institute's keys to him when the job is done? Lol. (Also that suit jacket could be straight out of Magnus's closet.)
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Oh my God Alec just say he could die. Why sugarcoat it? Say it how it is, and Magnus might listen to you.
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.........yeah. This is so relatable and I love how he delivers this line. The desperation is clear, but he's also determined about it. Also, quick question, why didn't Alec get Catarina to be there when Magnus wakes up instead of Lorenzo? I'm not saying it would have changed the outcome but it might just have made Magnus feel less shitty about being exposed to his nemesis in this weak state. Then again I get it, Alec is running on panic and instinct, so consideration is the last thing on his mind.
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This scene was amazing. Or, lol, this part of the scene. Magnus's performance is stellar and FYI the next thing he says, the “Look at me! Can you honestly say you like this?” was improvised and that's just ugh so good. Coincidentally this is also where my issues with this scene begin. They're not about how the characters act, I found that part very very fitting; it's meta.
The issue Magnus is having isn't about some fear that Alec won't love him anymore now that he doesn't have his magic anymore. Magnus is projecting. His issue lies within himself. He feels differently about himself, he can't say he likes this, and it's only in conclusion that he assumes it must be the same for Alec. But Alec isn't the root of this issue. But of course it's easier to pretend it's about Alec than to openly admit his severe self-image issues, so that's what Magnus does. Perfectly ic to me. The problem I have here is that if we take what Magnus says at face value it appears that Magnus only wants his magic back so Alec will keep loving him (sidenote: even more if you cross out Harry's addition and just focus on the “You fell in love with the High Warlock of Brooklyn. Can you honestly say you don't feel differently about me?”) and the solution to that is clear: Alec drops some wedding vows, problem solved.
But that's not the problem here. Magnus would literally rather be dead than without his magic and no amount of Alec waxing poetry about him is going to change that. And honestly, I'm so grateful for Harry's addition because that made it abundantly clear to me that Magnus is projecting. His bewildered “Can you honestly say you like this?” is an admittance of “I see what I am now and I can't bear it, so how could you?” If that scene had been about Alec, that would have been so uncalled for.
And also loooool but uuuuuuhhh I found Alec's speech less than impressive? I'm sorry, I know he tried but it just didn't work for me? I felt like it really wasn't up to his usual par. Lol I honestly rolled my eyes when he started about the spark that lights up the room XD It felt impersonal, kinda. It's hard to describe. Of course I can cut him some slack on that, because he was emotionally severely overchallenged in that moment and had to make it up on the fly, but uh. Yeah.
Anyway what I really didn't like was his closing line because it kinda sounded as if he was making that decision for Magnus and that's not his place. It might be dangerous and stupid and “not worth the risk” but Magnus isn't in a place where he should have his authority revoked, so. Kept from gambling with his life, yes. With sound arguments and empathy, yes. With dictation, no. So that didn't go over too well with me. Anyway I channeled that into a ficlet already, too, which I'm also advertising at the end.
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......has she just been sitting there for six episodes? Btw I wonder, if Jonathan is happily manipulating Lilith by faking positive emotions towards her I don't get why he totally fell for it every time Clary did the exact same thing to him.
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THAT MALICIOUS SMILE HAHAHA THE LITTLE (S)ASS
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1) SO SHE'S LITERALLY BEEN SITTING THERE FOR SIX EPISODES?!?!!?!?!
2) Why hello there Plot Point XD srsly why tf would Asmodeus use Magnus's magic instead of his own if, need I remind you, his own demonic magic is stronger than Magnus's, Magnus's wasn't even enough to destroy her demonic possession on Jace.... so why would Magnus's magic be enough to bind Lilith, the mother of that possession, to a room? Uh, lemme guess... Plot Convenience? So when, theory time!, Lilith is slayed he has no need for it anymore and can return it to Magnus?
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“...to kill you while you were weakened.”
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WOW WHAT A DELIVERY AMAZING
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........I gotta be honest, I was really confused at his submissive behavior but then I realized... they have a 10 year history of these mechanisms, and slipping back into the pattern of things must be so easy. Also, I mean, that paints a really wonderful and peaceful image of his formative years, right?
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Jimon Shipper Moment <3 ;) Look I don't even ship it, but their bickering is high-key amusing to me.
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Instead of just standing between them from the get go? Why?
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?????? I guess the incest runs in the family, pun not intended?????? Btw Jonathan's weird incest-y obsession makes so much sense now. If this is literally the only way he ever learned how “familial love” (Lilith Greater Demon Edition) is expressed I have no questions anymore. Seriously, he's so screwed over by everyone and it's just unfair. (On that note, glad we never had to see him make out with Valentine. Some things are just too terrible to envision. Damn, why did I say that, I should just shut up for all of our sakes.) Anyway, back to our favorite tortured soul here, I'm honestly not even sure if I can hold the incest thing against him any longer. His entire life consisted of being raised by Valentine, who kept him in a hut in the woods where he never got to see anyone but him, and then Edom where there was Lilith and demons. It makes a horrifying amount of sense that normal human norms mean nothing to him. He's never lived them, he's never witnessed them and maybe he doesn't even know them. So yeah. I guess I'll just add the incest thing on the long long list of things that are due to the stellar parenting he enjoyed, and not entirely his fault.
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Damn so close to see my prognosis come true. Then again, I guess this was just the perfect timing because who knows if Lilith won't even help them now kill Jonathan because betrayal bla bla.
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1) No need to twist the knife, then again this is Lorenzo so what am I even expecting.
2) WTF ARE THEY REALLY NOT GOING TO TALK ABOUT THIS SOME MORE?!?!?!??!?!
3) If it's like a transplanted organ being rejected by the body, just, idk, look for a different warlock whose magic fits Magnus better? There must be tests for that kind of thing? And even if there isn't, if you go slow and don't immediately portal all over the world plus end an encanto-coma you should be able to tell the magic doesn't fit pretty quickly without going into cardiac arrest. Magnus only got some nosebleed at first, remember, and it got worse only because he didn't slow down. I'm just saying, there would be Ways.
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Wow I never realized before that he's actually got an undercut. Makes his hairstyle look even stupider.
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Wow I believe this even less now than I did in 3x12.
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“Let's hug in these trying times, but please make sure your face doesn't touch mine, otherwise people might draw the absurd and outrageous conclusion that we're in a relationship or something.”
Honestly. Their portrayal of casual intimacy is abysmal and I hate it.
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1) The infirmary is very weird and open space for a place that should be easily closable if you need to contain, idk, sick people and their viruses and keep it sanitary. 2) I've been wondering since the start of the episode, did Lorenzo's pony tail get shorter? Wasn't it longer before? 3) At least Malec managed to make their feet intersect minimally, so yay for small mercies.
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“One dose of Plot Convenience, coming right up.”
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They're just.... gonna torture her? Really? I don't even have words for this. Oh no, I do:
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Seriously. It's as if morality isn't a thing, and torturing a sentient being isn't always and under all circumstances a Wrong and Bad thing to do. Because clearly if the person receiving torture is just Evil Enough then it's okay. Thanks for standing by and doing nothing Simon, this is exactly the reason I hate your inconsistent streak on this matter. I don't even expect better from the born shadowhunters, and Clary is way to un-reflected to even twitch but. Ugh. Why am I even wasting my breath (my typing capacity?) on this. It's pointless.
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Wow this is pointless, too. I mean, why is Izzy not interfering? She literally just fell down. She shouldn't be out of comission by this. Ugh.
Also ugh to Izzy slinging her whip around his hand instead of, idk, his whole upper body and his arms.
Also ugh to Simon waiting to attack Jonathan until the last second as a heroic saving move to save Izzy which, ugh.
But this here
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#AwkwardGrownUpSquad
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I'm honestly lol'ing so hard right now. Hahahaha this is just hilarious to me. Then again, who knows, maybe now they'll team up with Jonathan to kill Lilith and I'll get my hopes up again for a redemption arc XD
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......................HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Btw I bet you she copied that move from Doctor Strange.
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lol another thing I didn't see coming.
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1) Hello Hannibal lol 2) Who went in there and put restraints on him? 3) Who's gonna pay that Seelie actress now??
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This scene was actually nice? I know, I'm surprised myself.
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How convenient. I mean, good thing he didn't say “Glorious” otherwise Izzy might have thought he was asking for that one ESC song to be played at his funeral.
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Please, Maryse, don't flatter yourself, all you had to do was scratch Elliot's corpse from the floor boards, the rest was already completely furnished.
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..................................................................................................................bye
Look, while part of me is undeniably thrilled at the prospect – because while I was totally rooting for a Malec Wedding I was pretty sure it was an unachievable dream, just like hoping for Sheith – this is exactly what I mean with taking things at face value. Alec takes Magnus at his words (that he has doubts Alec will still love him now that he lost his powers) and so he thinks that a grand gesture of commitment will fix it.
But it won't, because that's not the problem. Or at least I hope it's not the problem, I mean if I lost my arm my main worry would be “Holy shit how am I gonna cope without my trusty appendage” not “What are the neighbors gonna think? Will I still be able to rock my favorite outfit without that limb?”
Anyway. I don't think this'll go over too well at this point in time. And honestly, Alec just realized at the beginning of this episode that he was fooled by Magnus's coping facade and tricked into thinking Magnus would be fine without his magic. And now Magnus has lost is magic again and Alec just... makes the same mistake again, blindly believing the words coming out of Magnus's mouth instead of taking a look for himself and seeing how Magnus is faring? Did he learn nothing from this? Alec. Why are you like this.
Anyway, conclusion time: This episode was way more reasonably paced than the last, the shit decision making was kept to a minimum (except for the part where they, y'know, summon Lilith back to earth) and Jace gets a diligence starlet for displaying common sense.
And now, self advertisement time! I wrote three ficlets: a) a continuation of the scene with Alec and Lorenzo b) a gap-bridging Malec scene set after the “I won't lose you” line and finally c) a what-I'd-like-to-see-happen-in-3x17-fic where Alec tells Izzy about his proposal plans.
I'd be thrilled if you checked one of them out. Until next time XD
(Gif Source)
22 notes · View notes
inkth · 6 years
Text
cream of the crop pt. 1
pairing → mygxreader
genre → angst (in future parts), fluff
warnings → for this part, there are no warnings
word count → 6.6k
okAY so fyi this is unedited for now and i might come back to switch certain things up but oh my god in bon voyage there was a part where yoongi got a strawberry milkshake and i stg this was in my wip waaaay before that so when i saw the gif i think i wailed a bit bc he made it literally canon my friends!!!! hope u enjoy this guys im chwishfsdkfhl
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Yoongi just wanted a god damn strawberry milkshake to release work stress. not to be grabbed by the arm by a stranger begging him to role play as some perfect boyfriend or another.
There are a variety of absurd experiences Min Yoongi has been unfortunate enough to cross within his current lifetime.
Thinking back, there was that time Yoongi picked up the phone to his childhood best friend Kim Namjoon, who thought he was being robbed by foreigners on the side of the street at one in the afternoon, and frantically asked Yoongi to please come save him by the way its the sidewalk on 44th street bring a gun!
“What kind of fucking robbers let you make a phone call, dumbass?” Yoongi barked into the phone, pretty upset that his afternoon nap was interrupted by some nonsensical disturbance.
“Oh shit Yoongi, you’re probably right,” Namjoon exhales and stays on the phone with him though, as he tries to solve the mystery of the tourists who just wanted to let Namjoon know that he had dropped a couple bills. They were discreetly carrying knives because they were opening a wood carving stand a block over, Namjoon explained later. Yoongi was quite the unamused listener.
There was another time in his already awfully long life when Yoongi himself was found caught in the middle of a fight between a Minecraft gamer and a ballerina carrying a flower vase, but that was a long story where it finally ended with him being released from custody as soon as the police had determined his innocence.
Or that other glitch in his simulation of a life when he had to bring nine cats home with him after work. Yoongi never knew he had a cat allergy, but he learned it the hard way that night as he sneezed so hard for so long till he couldn’t hear anything out of his ears.
So when Yoongi is feeling something in the air tickle his nugget of a brain that he should skip his ritual milkshake tonight and head on home right away to avoid whatever this coming disturbance is, Yoongi does what Yoongi does best, and he ignores his intuition because who cares, what Yoongi wants is his McFreaking milkshake.
Everything goes smoothly. Yoongi successfully orders a milkshake at the bar. He successfully receives the right order. He successfully starts to drink the milkshake in the quiet serenity of two am on a Monday. 
But then he fails to leave as soon as she comes in the door, the same girl who legitimately flings the entrance open like some wild animal and he is so horrified he can’t look away from this scene and makes the mistake of meeting your gaze.
The damage is done, however. He knows you’ve selected him as your prey among the barren tables save for one lady picking up fries togo and the waitress staring at you in fear.
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“Lady, please get off me,” he groans, pulling your fingers off his biceps as if they’re blood hungry leeches. His arm is free for maybe a second before your fingers fly back, grip stronger than before and this time Yoongi really can’t do much with just the one tired, exhausted hand; the one that isn’t holding the milkshake glass. 
He’s whispering a string of curses and damnations at One Week Ago Yoongi for slacking with working out. Or any of his past Yoongis, really. He rests his head on the tips of his fingers, weighing down on his elbow angled onto the table.
“You don’t understand,” you wheeze dramatically, eyes round with terror. Uh, hello? I don’t care enough to understand, Yoongi mentally comments. “My parents, they-“
Sure, you might’ve been exaggerating everything a little, but what’s a little show and extravagance when your damn life is on the line? A matter of life and death knows no tranquility.
He looks at you half lidded; boredom and ‘are you really still talking to me Ican’tbelievetheaudacity’ washing over his face doing a whole awful lot to create a grave aura around him. You can physically see the deathly ash gray energy come off him in waves like something from an anime.
At this point, Yoongi’s thinking he might just ditch you, make a run for it to never see your crazy ass again and the idea is so tempting but instead, he responds. He’s not too sure why, although it’s probably ‘cause he’s paid an awful lot for this deliciously overpriced milkshake that has yet to be completely consumed. But the fact of the matter is he does respond, even thought you’re clearly not in the right state of mind and he really should be telling you to go home.
“Listen, they’re not gunna care if your boyfriend’s a bum. It’s your life anyways, why would they care?” Yoongi notices he’s got about another sip or two of his milkshake and then he can hightail it outta this joint and a certain spazz grabbing onto him.
You let go of his arm, thinking maybe you came off a little too strong and run your hands over your hair to pat down the flyaways contributing to the messy, crazed look.
“Now, I really absolutely must get going… miss,” Yoongi has finished his drink with a content sigh, a little disappointed that the experience was partially ruined with your improv tug of war, but content nonetheless. “Don’t worry, I’ll go ahead and take care of your water,” he reassures you dryly and stands up from the bar’s long legged chair, grabbing his expensive leather jacket. The best purchase he’s ever made in his life, he tends to overshare this fact to anything or anyone with two ears and legs, seeing as how he wears it everyday through wind, rain and the scorching heat.
Your eyes flash in one last lunge of desperation and your integrity flies out the window and disappears into the sky like a balloon. Floating away… peacefully, gone forever till all that’s left is your soulless body embarrassing yourself like this on a Monday at two am.
“Please,” you choke out one last time and sincerity taints your voice, everything you’ve depended on relying on this thin line of his consent. 
There’s something about it that Yoongi finds himself hesitating for as his mind reels from the way your fingers grip the end of his jacket sleeve. 
“I really, truly only need your help for a couple days. I-I’ll even pay you.”
Your eyes dart to the floor from his face with your final push, unable to face rejection one last time from help you so ridiculously need. His body halts, and with this, you take it as a sign for your fingers to relax and stop holding his like some child refusing to let go of their lollipop. 
There’s one thing the weary should know, and it’s that one specific thing hits a chord with Min Yoongi that makes him who he is.
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“Shit.”
Hana looks up at you in what seemed like concern and a bit of ‘damn, you live like this?’ tainting her face. You keep going back and forth between looking down at your most recent message on your phone and up to her face, still contorted in confusion unable to face the reality that is your life right now.
You’re not okay, this can’t be happening — everything you had worked up for up until this point, only to be destroyed by your parents’ wrath would be the endgame for your life. You need to lie down and forget this day even happened.
“Are you, okay?” She can’t help but emphasize the ‘okay’ with leaning her head in a tilt.
“Hana,” you squeak out, hands pressed against your eyes till you see stars. It’s late, you’re braincell-less from such last minute studying and you’re absolutely, completely fucked. And not in the nice way you normally would want to be.
“My parents are coming over and want to meet Jungkook.”
Hana lets out a strangled gurgle of terror from the back of her throat as she runs her hands through her dark hair and crawls over to you to peer at your phone screen. Now that she knows you’re fucked, you want to throw your phone out the window and run away. Or just throw yourself out the window. You stand up from your sitting position on the floor and take deep breaths counting to ten and back again.
“Oh my god,” she whispers. “You’re screwed.”
You twist your face and tell her, “Thank you so very much for the vote of confidence! I’ll just have to remember that while trying to explain everything to my parents.”
Hana’s pained smile emits an apologetic vibe as she continues to voice her thoughts. “Damn. Seriously though… what’re you gonna do, I mean. You still have… two days?”
“I don’t even know anymore,” you wail, falling back to the floor and hoping it’ll somehow open up, and take your body into the recesses of the earthy ground. “Is a day or two even enough time for him to come back from that trip?”
“Wait, you mean you would have your parents actually meet him?” Hana looks over at you incredulously. “Like, we’re talking about your boyfriend Jeon Jungkook, right?”
Backtrack – So, okay, yes maybe you had a few flaws. One of them was the fact that you were maybe a little too prideful. As in it’d physically pain you for your parents to know that your boyfriend was a bum who did absolutely nothing.
You had lied to your parents from the very beginning, pulling off the scam with a few explanations here and there saying, “Oh, no he’s too shy. He won’t take pictures!” when your parents wanted to see who this guy was. The occasional “He can’t meet up with us because he’s studying for his very big exam haha you know how these studious nerds are sorry!”
You wince from her tone, speaking as if he’s a demon sent from hell, and start collecting strands of your hair to comb through with worry.
“I mean, if he were here I could play him up as the guy I made him out to be,” you mused. “They don’t even know what he looks like. Probably think he’s afraid of cameras, poor baby.”
Hana looks slightly revolted from your gently verbalized “uwu” and snaps her fingers to garner your attention back onto the matter at hand.
“Wait- I,” you sat back up, all the blood rushing this way and that causing a weird feeling to consume you and you see black for a good three seconds before it dissipates. “Don’t judge me for what I’m about to say.”
“Done,” Hana nods. “I live with you and judge you enough already.”
You look at her unimpressed, lips curled into an unamused smile.
“How about I get a fake boyfriend? Like, right now?”
Hana doesn’t even know where to begin she laughs because she thinks you’re literally joking but then stops when she knows you’re not. “Uh, you do realize it is two am, Y/N. Where are you planning on going to look for an accomplice to role play your perfect boyfriend?”
“Honestly speaking, I’ll probably have to go to a bar or something.” Just saying this out loud was enough to acknowledge that you yourself were not thinking straight.
“You’re just going to walk into a bar and pick up the first dude you lay eyes on is what you’re implying…” Hana trails off, as she begins to re-evaluate the situation. “Are you okay?”
“No,” you sigh, brushing off your jeans as you stand up. “But this is my only option.”
“Well, you could always tell the truth to your mom and dad. You don’t have to be so full of it, Y/N. And listen, you’re 20 going on 21… how much longer are you going to hide this from your parents? You’re literally an adult.”
You frown and start walking out of the room, grabbing a jacket before you head outside and to the car. “I’m not full of it,” you defend your poor self. “I just need my parents to think I’m living my best life with the best boyfriend so they don’t rub in how they were right all this time or whatever overprotective shit they wanna pull on me.”
Hana holds up her hands as an act of surrendering and picks up your phone from the floor to hand it to you. Before it’s passed off however, a pinging sounds and she calls out the notification.
“Your mom texted you to say–“ Hana squints from how dark your phone’s lighting is. “They’re actually planning on starting to drive over tonight and should make it here by tomorrow evening?”
You start to panic, countless thoughts crashing the calm of your mind like stormy waves as you start to assess your problem at hand. You need to find a fake boyfriend, said fake boyfriend must learn what must be learned about you and said fake boyfriend will need to do a good enough job to keep your parents away forever and hopefully this will work because you don’t know what you’ll do the next time your parents come to “check up” on you because they think something’s fishy with this hypothetical fake boyfriend.
You let out what sounds like something between a sob and a groan as you snatch the phone from Hana’s hands and run out of the house, debating between driving to the nearest diner or running away from home.
See, the problem with your parents were that they were overbearing to the point that they even hated the fact you decided to attend college out of state. Mind them, it was only one state away, but it did absolutely nothing to soothe their constant fretting over your wellbeing and life. You were fed up with the relentlessly strict parental control and went crazy in college – finally dating, drinking and partying – although it was still at a good minimum.
To expose to your parents that you were dating an undecided major who spent the money he could scrounge around for on video games was a one-way ticket to hell so in order to save face and keep up the façade that you in fact were living your best life possible, you dreamt up of the littlest, white lie.
Your boyfriend was a perfect boy. One grade above you, one his way to graduating as a summa cum laude. He had an internship and was already guaranteed a job after college as a biomedical engineering major. You painted the perfect picture so you could present yourself in the best way possible to your parents.
The way your hard work was about to be shattered by the way so many coincidences piled on top of each other was a bit frustrating to say the least. You weren’t sure how you kept this a secret for so long and frankly, how your parents didn’t doubt you from the start but now they believed him to be a camera shy, facetime shy boy that only spent his time studying.
You didn’t even want to start on the numerous occasions you and Jungkook had ended a night fighting because of this ridiculous situation, that sure, you put yourselves in. You weren’t sure why you did this, but of course it wasn’t because you were too prideful.
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Yoongi never lets money slip out of his hands. Call him frugal, call him thrifty, he doesn’t care. He just knows that if it’s worth the price, he’ll do it.
“Fine. I’ll do this. But I want cash and I want half of the end amount right now,” he knows he’s being demanding and it does look like you reek of eau de poor college student but with the request you’re making, he thinks it’s only fair.
You look teeny tiny and exhausted from the way you crumple your body on the seat next to him and it’s annoying how much work you’re going through because of a simple lie, but you can’t back out now. The way you’ve been explaining the situation to him is really making you sound a little crazy but hey, you’re only human and this isn’t the weirdest situation Yoongi has ever been in.
“How is this even going to work?” Yoongi looks at you as if you haven’t thought this far ahead. “Haven’t they seen his face? Is he even okay with this? Are you running a scam show? If this turns out to be a mess, I want no part of the repercussions.” He squints at you and crosses his arms, eyeing you suspiciously.
“I’m not stupid,” you roll your eyes and scrunch your face from irritation. “They’ve never seen pictures or anything of his face. I’m thankful my boyfriend doesn’t have social media, but I mean, even if he did my parents are technologically inept, anyways.”
“This is so extra, this is like, almost kind of idiotically stupid,” with a snort, Yoongi continues to doubt you. “I can’t believe I agreed to this. You better pay me the remaining amount as soon as this shit’s done. I’ve got things to do.”
“I’m sure you have so much stuff to do concerning your things,” you bite back and have to hold steady the urge to punch his weak looking noodle arm. Just keep thinking about how grateful you are that this sort of handsome spawn of the devil is agreeing to save your ass and livelihood.
He huffs and has the audacity to look offended, loosely crossing his arms across his chest. “Whatever, run this by me again.”
“Okay,” you sigh. You nearly teeter off the edge of the stool from sleepiness, an untouched glass of water in front of you and you watch the droplets trickle down the sides of the condensating cup. “My name is Y/N and yours is Jeon Jungkook. I’m 20 and you’re 21…”
You start to list off factual information and the details get a little blurry as they re-enter his mind because now it’s almost 3:20 in the morning and Yoongi just wanted a fucking milkshake but now it’s like he’s in college all over again, cramming all the notes and tidbits of information he can into his mind to purge it in five hours on the dreadful test. Even though Yoongi’s suffering, he starts noticing these things about you that’s definitely a little confusing to him and gets him a little worked up but in all the right ways.
He pays attention to the way when you laugh you move to cover your mouth with your hand, it’s kind of endearing. Sure, he’ll admit he thought you were pretty behind the air of desperation and super strange vibes you let out when you first marched into the door. Like, perhaps very pretty. He’s not sure but it might be something to do with the shape of your eyes and the pink of your lips. But the tendency you have to tilt your head when you smile is something that Yoongi starts noticing too and–
Yoongi catches himself thinking these thoughts that are so out of bounds and unnecessarily loud. It’s okay, he mentally argues. These are fake boyfriend feelings and it is late. I am exhausted, I don’t know what I am talking about.
And there you have it folks. Yoongi solves this problem of the Case of Weird Emotions with a simple answer. He’s just a really good fucking actor and can get into character so well that he starts thinking the way his character would. That’s all. And now Yoongi is mentally punching himself because he sounds really fucking weird. And fuck, he needs to stop cursing because he needs to be a well polished, dapper, perfect boyfriend.
He shudders and you see it, not because you’ve been looking at him but because he does it in a really obvious way that calls for attention in your peripheral vision.
“Are you alright?” You ask warily, eyeing him because what if he’s having a spasm attack holy shit?
Yoongi grunts with his absurdly deep voice and says, “Yeah, go on.”
“I wish we had more time,” you whine, rubbing your probably bloated face with sweater paws and something tickles Yoongi’s heart from the way you look and speak although he does his best to ignore it.
“It’s okay, I’ll remember this, I’m pretty sure… let’s just try and come up with a code word or something for me. Like, if I don’t know something I’ll say or do something and you’ll cover for me.”
You nod your head and for the first time that night it seems like you really smile and it’s cute, but not cute enough to swindle Min Yoongi’s heart. Of course not.
“Do you know how to crack your fingers?” You ask after a few moments of deep contemplation.
Yoongi suddenly looks small because he’s shoving his hands in between his thighs to cover them from the cold and you almost coo as he nods his head yes.
“Great,” you look away from his figure to calm yourself. “Just do that and then I’ll fill in. That’s the signal.”
“Does this mean we’re done now?” Yoongi’s voice has gotten raspy over the span of time you’ve spent with him because of how he spent most of it just listening to you and barely opened his mouth.
“I dunno,” you nervously gnaw on your lower lip, another habit Yoongi has picked up on fondly. Or not fondly, not at all… at least only fondly with fake boyfriend feelings. “I’m really not sure how this is going to turn out. Thankfully my friend is going to stay at a friend’s house to avoid more possible complications.”
“Alright then, give me a call tomorrow morning and I’ll get over to your place by two in the afternoon.”
You shake your head, “No, come earlier. We need as much time as possible to go over this. Remember? They’re arriving sometime that night.”
Yoongi groans from the revolting sentence he has just been forced to hear and he cries, “But I can’t! You’ve kept me up for this long evil lady, I should’ve been in bed falling asleep hours ago!”
“I’m sorry,” you feebly offer. “But I really need to nail in a lot more with you.”
Yoongi grumbles a wide variety of things under his breath comprised of but not limited to, “You’re lucky you’re cute”, “Fuck, I need a good ten hours of sleep to retain all this information, though” and “Damn it, I want my money”.
“Fine– 11 is the earliest I’ll be there. And are you sure you’re okay with giving me your freaking address? You’re going to let a stranger know where you live and you’re fine with it,” Yoongi lowers his tone towards the last bit in uncertainty.
“I’ll be fine because my roommate is a police force trainee who has armed me with a panic button along with pepper spray. You’ve been warned,” you wiggle your brows. “Plus you’re my fake boyfriend and you want the money. I’ll see you tomorrow at eleven.”
You both get up from your chairs, leaving cash tips and Yoongi’s expression changes into one of respect and newfound admiration.
“Duly noted,” he chuckles as he holds the door open for you to walk through, the brisk, autumnal air enveloping you.
Outside in the parking lot you head towards your car and see only a couple other vehicles, one of them being a motorcycle and you don’t think twice about it till Yoongi is waving goodbye to you as he walks in the direction of it.
“Wait,” you call out and Yoongi immediately halts, turning to face you with an expectant raise of his brow. “That’s your ride?” You point at the motorcycle.
He smirks and shoves his hands into his leather jacket as deep black as the galaxy and his hair swirls around from the wind above his twinkling eyes.
“Isn’t she beautiful?”
You groan, wondering if you have enough money to fork up however much it would cost to rent a car. You’re pretty sure you don’t, but if it’s for this boy, the best you could pick out on a quiet Monday morning at two, the cream of the crop, you’ve really got no other choice.
You just hope this cream of the crop has a license to drive a car.
The next morning you wake up at eight, sitting up in your plush bed as memories of last night flood your mind in horror. Restless sleep tightened your neck through the night, stress eating away at you and your ability to sleep peacefully.
You groan, peeking at your alarm clock and take a deep breath before you whip your hair out of your face and harden your resolve by sheer will. You pull of the covers and step out of your room, trailing for the kitchen in order to brew yourself some deeply needed coffee.
“Coffee first,” you mumble. Priorities.
Hana is sitting in the living room, a mug on the coffee table in front of her. She looks up as soon as she sees you enter from the short hallway.
“Mornin’ sunshine, there’s some coffee left for you,” she chippers cheerfully. “You got up pretty early. You’re meeting the man of the hour soon, right?”
“Meh, don’t remind me,” you grumble, shuffling into the kitchen and from the coffee machine, you see her kick her slippers off and finish the last of her homework. You pour the still hot liquid holy grail into your Totoro mug and start to mix in cream and sugar seeing as how you’re not as abhorrent as Hana with her love of black coffee.
“But damn, you were just a wreck last night,” Hana teases. “I can’t believe you really got someone to do something this crazy for a girl they just met.”
“It was the money,” you point out, sipping the first few tastes of coffee. It needs a bit more sugar. “I’m so fucken exhausted! Listen, I don’t even have that kind of money to pay him.” You can hear your stash of hidden cash for emergencies underneath your drawer already crying for help. This could qualify as an emergency, you doubtfully suppose.
Hana is still recovering from the surprise of hearing your insane plan worked, even if she found out last night. You remember how you entered the house, satisfied with how quote on quote smoothly the ordeal went even if you were about to be $600 short on money and stressfully sleep deprived the next morning. Hana walked out of her room with sleepy eyes and a bit of bedhead to you getting ready for bed so early in the morning, although she gained a bit of consciousness after hearing how your plan had indeed, succeeded.
Now that it’s the morning and your adrenaline rush had bled away and you’re in a clearer state of mind, doubt starts to trickle in and you are wondering what in hell you were thinking in the first place. You shake the thoughts away and focus on the task at hand.
“I’ll be getting out of the house soon,” Hana comments, starting to pack up whatever textbooks and notes she’ll need for the next day or two.
“You’re the amazingest,” you gratefully smile at her and try to convey your upmost sincerity. As best you could, at least.
“Yes,” she agrees mindlessly. “I am, aren’t I? I am so amazing—so amazing that I am literally leaving the apartment that I share with you for you and the stranger to bond and learn how to role play as lovers. It sounds crazy, I know, but here we are.”
Your smile fades away as you look at her in playful disbelief. “Go to your room, pack your granny underwear and your granny clothes, and leave this household!”
Hana scrunches her nose in distaste, “They’re not granny clothes! They’re retro! And thongs or whatever strip of fabric you claim are underwear are so uncomfortable, literally leavemealonegoodnightDevil!”
You laugh as she prances to her room to stuff her duffle bag full of clothes she’ll need in order to survive for the time she’s gone and you glance at the clock to see it read 8:30, and you go off to your room to get ready for the very. Incredibly. Extremely, long day ahead.
It is at ten that you have finished cleaning up your room, taken a quick shower and waved off Hana out of the home you two share. You walk back inside after seeing her depart safely promising to text you when she arrives, even though it’s the daytime and she’s just a good ten feet away, you never know what could happen. Even if she’s almost a police officer. 
Which, speaking of, she has reminded you countlessly about, telling you to pass on the message that she will personally come to fuck him up if anything happens to you. You appease her with saying you will, but you sure as hell don’t plan on doing so. 
Closing the door, you sigh deeply and it leaves you a little lightheaded as you lean your back against the door.
“Oh, shit.”
It hits you then that this is really happening. Like, your idiotic plan your brain thought up of that you thought was foolproof was really happening. There were so many holes that could expose you in a second and the thought of you being ousted in front of your parents tugged at your pride riddled mind.
The anxiety twitches your fingers as you pull up your phone and it leaves you staring at his message from last night.
yoongi: see u at 10:30
You forget he suddenly promised an earlier time at the last minute and you reckon you’ve got yourself about twenty or so minutes for him to show up at your door. It’s enough time for you to beat your face with makeup and put on some presentable clothes.
At 10:30 sharp he arrives at the door and it catches you by surprise because he doesn’t seem to be an advocate for timeliness. You tug down at your cropped sweater one last time before you open the door to see Yoongi in all his slightly bloated, freshly showered glory.
He looks a bit nervous, seeing as how he kept worrying over this very situation he should never have gotten himself into over the night not to mention what if you sent him the wrong address. Yoongi’s eyes flit from your face to the room behind you but he manages to keep his jittery 
“Hey,” you sigh in relief. “Thank goodness you’re here. And thanks for coming so early.”
Yoongi loses a bit of the nervousness in his system and seems a bit more relaxed than he was when you first met him, probably because he’s gotten a better grip of his surroundings than last night, when he was completely hit with a curveball. In the face. At 500 miles per hour. In the form of you. HIs face loses the tension in the muscles and his lips take on a nonchalant smile. You also notice he’s wearing the same leather jacket as last night and you wonder if he has anything else available to wear.
“No worries,” he says in that gruff voice of his but he clears his throat quickly and yeah, you notice he’s still pretty high strung. This whole tribulation is probably a first for him too.
“Come on in,” you gesture inside, and make space for him to make through. Not that he needed much anyways being the tiny man he is.
“Alright,” he mutters, stepping into the apartment and slipping off his shoes. He doesn’t really pay attention to the apartment anymore but rather your outfit. You wearing sweatpants that still hug your legs and figure looks really good with the bit of skin exposed under the hem of your cropped Adidas sweater and Oh my God shut up, he scolds his train of thought.
It’s just that psychology of attraction at first sight, or whatever. Sure, it’s not his first time meeting you, sure, but you two have only recently met. Yoongi is certain he is a man of strong will. He would never let himself start feelings these things for someone who is already in a relationship.
He tears his gaze away from you before you can notice his burning stare and starts to run his eyes over the layout.
“Well,” you laugh strangely, trying to cover your skittishness. “This is where I live. I guess we can run over what we talked about last night over there on the couch.”
You point at the black sofa and Yoongi nods, walking over to sit down stiffly.
“Did you want something to drink?” You ask, noticing the way he stays pretty quiet. This won’t do. Your fake boyfriend is a great conversationalist.
“No, I’m fine, let’s just go over what we have to. I don’t wanna mess up…” Yoongi trails off and a hint of concern tinges his voice as you smile.
“Sounds good,” you agree.
“Okay, first things first,” you start reciting the basics as you are sat next to him. Yoongi does a really good job of staying on task at first, he swears. He’s listening intently but all of a sudden he’s thinking about how sweet and pretty your voice is and next thing he knows he’s thinking about how hard it is to just even meet your gaze, because your eyes are just such a wonderful outlet of all your emotions it’s really hard to meet them and not just go on and dive into the pool that is you and then—
“We might have to gel your hair back,” you muse softly and Yoongi is shaken out of his schoolboy crush-like trance.
“Fuck no. No,” Yoongi is firm with his decision, holding his hand out to emphasize his stance. “The forehead stays covered.”
You can’t help but let out a laugh as you cover your mouth with your hand and say, “Fine.”
Yoongi notices once again how you have a habit of doing that when laughing and he hates how it’s pretty adorable. 
“How did you get here, anyways?” You ask suddenly. “Not with your bike, I hope…?”
Yoongi grins at you and you notice that he’s one of those gummy grinners and it does a little something to you but you avoid it at all costs and swallow it down.
“I Ubered here,” he said simply. “I figured I could say my car’s in the shop if your parents ask.”
You widen your eyes and nod in approval. “Brilliant! That’s really good Yoongi, thank God I don’t have to pay for a rent a car.”
“Speaking of payment,” Yoongi is reminded of your debt to him at the passing mention of money but is glowing from your praise. “Need I say more? Don’t worry about the Uber fee, I won’t be holding those against you, call it service.”
“How kind of you,” you grimace, hearing the cries of your emergency money once more, as you tell him to stay put. “I’ll be right back with half of it.”
When you count out 300 and carefully tuck the rest away, you turn around to walk out only to see Yoongi peering in your door, arms crossed and looking quite interested.
You jump at the sudden intrusion-like non-intrusion and scowl, asking, “What are you doing here? You scared me shitless and you’re very lucky I didn’t shriek.”
He shrugged, tousling his dark hair from his eyes and replied, “If I’m gonna be your fake boyfriend, I should know what your room looks like. As your fake boyfriend, of course.”
You groan and tell him, “Get a good, quick look around, because here’s your money and now we’re leaving.” You slap the wad of cash onto his unsuspecting palm and push his shoulders out the door.
“I know you kind of know me because of all the information I might’ve been burning into your mind the past 24 hours about yours truly, but I barely know a thing about you and we’re really acquaintences at best, still.”
Yoongi lets you lead him out of the hall into the living room and with a quick look at your lockscreen, you see that it’s still only 11:14. He stuffs the money in the back pocket of his jeans, which fit him quite nicely around the thigh area, if you may say so yourself. 
“Fine,” he mutters and you barely catch it with your already dull hearing.
“What’s fine?” You ask, sitting down on the sofa as he takes a seat as well.
“I said, fine. What do you wanna know about me?” He asks, finding interest in the boring coffee table.
“Uh,” you trail off, unprepared for this kind of a question. “Wait, do I want to know more about you? I should be thinking of you as my boyfriend Jungkook, putting history and information behind you would make it too easy for me to differentiate…”
Yoongi rolls his eyes with a condescending sigh that you somehow know isn’t very genuine. “Just ask three things about me, so we’re not complete strangers,” he offers a compromising deal.
You let it sit with you for a second. If you made a slip up would you be able to recover? It was already hard enough, calling him Yoongi—already so hard enough that it was weird to remind yourself you’d have to be calling him Jungkook in a few hours. Eh, screw it.
“Where do you work?” You ask your first question tentatively.
“I work as a part time server for now,” he replies as if it’s something of a bother. “At the barbecue place downtown.” You have a brief idea of where it is, having passed by it a few times while you were in the vicinity.
“Alright,” you huffed. “What’s your other part time?”
Yoongi looks a bit confused at first with the way you worded it, but he catches on quickly seeing as how he’s got a fast train of thought.
“Oh, yeah. You remember my bike? I wanna go into autotech service. Or something like that, like engineering,” he vocalizes his thoughts and grows a bit red.
“That’s really awesome,” you smile at him and he grows comforted by the idea of you approving his passion. Although he shouldn’t be so—
“Do you have a girlfriend?” This question takes you back by surprise too, and you swear it was a slip of your tongue.
“I—“ Yoongi wasn’t ready, didn’t even think you were one bit interested in his love life but he answers directly. “No.”
For some reason you like hearing that answer, something like satisfaction burns at your tongue and heart and you don’t understand why when you have a perfectly cute boyfriend named Jeon Jungkook (the real one) you can call yours.
“Sorry, I didn’t know where that came from,” you giggle nervously.
Yoongi brushes it off and breathes evenly. He’s not sure why he’s worked up uncomfortably like this and he wants to skip to the part where this is all over and he goes back to moping around, living out his normal, daily routine.
We are acquaintances, he keeps reminding himself.
You two end up talking about yourselves a bit more, because pictures of your dog reminds him of his dog and from there the conversation flows a little too perfectly because now you’re intrigued by the mystery that is Min Yoongi and you want to know more and everything about him. This goes on for the next six hours and it’s filled with so much talking and laughing and you’ve even cooked up lunch because oh my goodness you found ingredients to make pancakes.
Then dawn rolls around as if it’s only been a mere thirty minutes and to be honest, it feels likes you know Min Yoongi more than your own boyfriend Jeon Jungkook.
You shake that last thought off, startled from the way you so abruptly stated that. Internally, of course. 
Yoongi’s barely opened his mouth to ask you another question when-
The doorbell rings and it echoes throughout the inside of your home and holy shit it feels so intimidating and loud and Yoongi just isn’t ready, but can’t imagine how you’re feeling right now if he’s this scared of what’s to come. 
You glance at him almost as if you’re seeking refuge in someone’s comfort so he grits his teeth a bit because between the two of you, he realizes he’s got to stay the rock.
Yoongi narrows his eyes until they resemble somewhat to a feline’s. He’s the rock.
And not just in the Dwayne Johnson sort of way.
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oooooookay oh my goodness this is unedited but i wanted it off my shoulders before i got to work so here this is please enjoy but send me feedback or anything you'd like through my inbox thanks!!!
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blancasplayground · 6 years
Text
Best and Worst of AoS Season 5
Here is my season five postmortem, in the form of a roundup of what I loved and didn't love. It got really long, so I won't spend too much time on the intro. Let's just dive in. Obviously, major spoilers for the entirety of the season follow.
Best: The Future
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For the first half of season five it felt like the team was stuck in a dystopian YA novel. In a good way. It was a bold move to completely change the look and feel of the show, but it worked from both a narrative and production standpoint. Not only did it make the best use of the reduced budget, since they could film primarily indoors on smaller-scale sets, but they didn't have to deal with the goings on in the MCU back home (that would come later -- and it's not on the "best" list). Creating a future from scratch requires tremendous imagination and planning, and they delivered a rich backdrop. I was sorry to leave behind the characters we met there, like Tess and Flint. Of course, they had to return to the present eventually, but they did a really good job of world-building for those episodes.
Worst: Contradicting Time Theories
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The showrunners have said in interviews that there were a lot of heated discussions in the writer's room about time travel logic, and it shows. Back in the season-three episode "Spacetime" they gave us one answer (which happened to be one I really liked) -- time is an illusion. As Fitz explained, the past, present and future happen simultaneously. We just experience it in a linear way because we're limited to the third dimension. So it cannot be changed. But when they blew up the Earth for the season’s main storyline, they also blew up that theory, because they HAD to change the future now. They weren't going to allow the world to be cracked apart. It's not that kind of show. Plus, they’re still tied to the MCU, so they couldn't let that future play out. And yet, when they returned to the past they had characters still behaving as if it were fixed (the whole "invincible three" idea, which so many people disliked), but trying to change it anyway. Either the future is pre-determined or it isn't. Trying to have it both ways makes for sloppy and confusing stories. It also gives viewers a headache.
Best: Fitz's Journey
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Fitz's absence was notable in the first few episodes, but to make up for it we got "Rewind," one of the best episodes of the season. We saw Fitz struggling with his dark side, only to have to embrace it in the future to save Jemma and Daisy in the most badass way (a total "baller move" as Daisy put it). The blend of pre- and post-Framework Fitz was exactly what they needed at the time. Unfortunately, it may have opened the door for The Doctor to take control in "The Devil Complex." He got a chance to marry the love of his life, but that happiness was short lived. His psychological break (which was an incredible reveal and riveting to watch from an acting standpoint) and what he did to Daisy split the team and the audience, sparking a lot of debate about the nature of good and evil both on screen and off. Which, I think, was exactly the point. Was he redeemable? Could he have learned to control his dark side? Could the team ever learn to accept this new version of Fitz and his morally questionable, yet undeniably effective, methods? We'll never know. Which brings me to . . .
Worst: Fitz's Death
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(Jemma gif because I can’t watch that death scene anymore.) 
(But this is almost as bad.)
We've been over this, and the wounds are still fresh, so I won't rehash what so many others have said more eloquently. I will point out that the issue is not with the death itself. They had to do it in order to bring back Cryo Fitz (or perhaps because they knew they could), who hasn't experienced the majority of season five. It's an intriguing idea, and should open up a lot of pathways for his story next season. Also, it gave Iain another chance to show off his crazy talent (like he needed more this season, but whatever, we're grateful). It's just the way they did it, and the fact that anyone thought this would be an acceptable sendoff for a fan-favorite character if it really was the last episode. The fake-out (which wasn't even a proper fake out because they REALLY DID have to bury Fitz) undercut what should have been a bigger moment -- Phil's departure and impending death as well. They botched it, plain and simple, and there's no taking that back.
Best: Philinda Endgame
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They took their time getting there, but May and Coulson finally expressed their feelings for each other (at least, the human versions), each in their own signature way. May finally telling Phil she loved him just to shut him up was classic May. And that kiss behind the shield ought to go down as one of most iconic TV kisses in history. I sincerely hope they get lots of parasailing in, and, despite it being a lovely sendoff, that we'll see one or both of them back next season. Incidentally, I believe the fact that Robin drew the two of them on the beach in Tahiti before they changed the future means that they wound up together in the previous version of the loop too. Of course, Phil had to be gone to allow May to become Robin's mom, and now I'm giving myself a headache again. See what you've done, season five!
Worst: Team Infighting
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This show is never better than when the characters work together as a team, whether it's on an action-packed mission or simply solving a problem on the ground. Which makes the decision to split everyone up along multiple fault lines later in the season a confusing and super frustrating move that wasn't at all fun to watch. Families fight, sure, but the divisions this year were deep, involving the loss of trust and respect, and the questioning of each other's core moral principles. These are not minor squabbles. I'm not sure what they were trying to accomplish by stepping up the tension and having them take sides against each other in the face of their greatest challenge yet, but I don't think it worked out the way they wanted it to. I would love to see everyone come back together and be a family again, as long as it's done realistically without sacrificing characterization.
Best: Graviton
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With this season possibly being the last, the writers took the opportunity to pick up a thread they'd left dangling in episode three. Ever since the introduction of gravitonium way back when, fans have been wondering if the show would follow through and deliver the major comic-book villain Graviton. Considering this season could have been the show's swan song, it was a good time to deliver on that promise. And they did, in a way that was surprising yet somehow fitting. Glenn Talbot has been a thorn in Coulson's side since he showed at the end of season one, so to have him become the final Big Bad is a satisfying, if tragic, fate for the character. Especially since, in his twisted mind, he believed he was doing the right thing, right up until the end.
Worst: Ruby Red Herring
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Sorry Dove Cameron fans, but the show let your girl down. Despite the potential in her first few episodes, Ruby never lived up to the compelling, cutthroat (or cut-arm, haha) villain they set her up to be (her hooded alter ego never even got a cool villain nickname). As it turned out, she was only there as a distraction, to confuse the characters and the audience about the real identity of the Destroyer of Worlds. And just as she was getting interesting -- the way she watched and mimicked Fitzsimmons alone told us more about her cold upbringing and the lack of human connection in a few moments than we got in all her episodes before that -- they killed her off to give the team something else to fight about.
Best: Nostalgic Callbacks and Fan Service
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We got so many callbacks to previous seasons throughout season five. Maybe it's because the writers knew there was a chance this would be the last year, so they packed in as many references to the history of the show as they could. There was also the milestone 100th episode, which naturally lent itself to looking back. In addition to paying off older plot points (see above re: Graviton) they directly acknowledged their loyal viewers with that "small but active fan base" line. It was exciting seeing Mike again. And good to have Davis back too, with his mysterious survival story (that I hope they never reveal). Not to mention Hunter (which I will, down below). These were all gifts to long-time fans and we ate them up.
Worst: Infinity War Tie-In
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If you're going to go there (and yeah, they had to, given the show's history), then fully commit to it, rather than using the cop out of ending the season just before the movie's biggest moment. Anyone who's seen it knows that the ending could potentially have a major impact on the show. So embrace that (imagine Phil handing Mack the keys to Lola, only to watch them fall to the ground). Or they could have used the multiverse to disconnect from the MCU once and for all. There were already so many questions going into the finale, whether they would or wouldn't go through with the snap was one debate I could have lived without. And it's still up in the air as to whether it will be a factor next season. Given that the airdate is after the next movie comes out, I'm inclined to think not, but I kind of wish we didn't even have to worry about it.
Bonus Bests:
The Return of Lance Hunter
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Every single moment he was in was pure gold. I really hope we haven't seen the last of him.
Fitzsimmons Wedding
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I mean, obviously. So beautiful and emotional. A shining moment of light to balance the darkness of the rest of the season..
Deke
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I love Deke. End of story. He is still around and he will be back. See my explanation post here. I have no official confirmation of this, I'm just thinking positively.
One final note: These gifs were pulled from all over. I’m still rather new to Tumblr, so if you see something that’s yours and would like credit, let me know (and also if you could let me know how to do it that would be great).
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jincherie · 7 years
Text
Lure | Min Yoonji
~First fic for the kreativewritersnet AU Bingo event!~ Pairing: Min Yoonji x reader (fem!Yoongi x reader) Genre: siren!au, angst (??) Words: 1.8k+ Warnings: character death (???) Notes: finally, a drabble!!!!!!!!! I know I am meant to be writing 10000000000000000x other things but I just wanted to write this, u feel?? I hope you like it! I still have more Min Yoonji to do in the future so look forward to it! Next in the au bingo will hopefully be Selkie!AU Jin!! ((i did the lil sketch below!! none of the gifs really fit haha)) [edit.] I read Kittae’s drabble like a week before this (was already planning to write this) so some themes may unintentionally be similar.
You’re alone on that island but at least there’s Min Yoonji there to keep you company.
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The water that lapped at your toes was cool, your feet dipping into ink. There were tiny jewels in the sky, and shimmering gems reflecting off the depths around you. The lagoon, a scene that had become familiar to you over the months you’d been here on this accursed island, was as beautiful in the moonlight dripping from the sky as it had ever been. The sight wasn’t new, but you’d never get over it. With a languid hand you drew ripples in the water, enjoying how it glistened and glimmered before your eyes.
“Don’t you ever get tired of playing with the water?”
You turned at the silky tone that caressed your ears, eyes falling upon the ethereal form of one Min Yoonji that shone even in the darkness that fell around you. You offered a soft smile. “No, I love the water.”
Yoonji rolled her eyes, obsidian locks brushing against her bare shoulders as she rested on her elbows on the rock beside you. You caught sight of her iridescent tail as it flicked lazily behind her, fins emerging from the inky depths and scattering pretty droplets across her pale, flawless skin. The image before you was so heart-wrenchingly beautiful you felt your chest ache, a yearning for something you couldn’t comprehend blooming behind your sternum. Just like usual.
“That’s what you always say.” her voice was a lullaby, caressing your senses and soothing your mind. To the untrained ear it might have resembled a monotone, silken speech void of emotion, but you’d become so familiar with it you could pick up the slightly amused edge that dripped from the end of her words. “But you’ve been on this island for months now, surrounded by nothing but water. Aren’t you tired of it?”
A soft sigh escaped your lips before you could contain it. Your back ached from sitting upright too long; you yearned to lay back against the soft, forgiving sand of the bank, but your eyes couldn’t bare to part from Yoongi’s ethereal form. It was a problem you found yourself with more often than not when in the company of the beautiful siren. Around her, your thoughts ceased to exist.
“No,” you murmured, managing to tear your gaze away before you became lost in Yoonji’s dark eyes once more. They were oceans of their own, waiting to swallow you whole the second you showed an inkling of weakness and gave in. “I don’t think I’ll ever grow tired of it. It’s… comforting, at this point.”
Yoonji hummed, resting her chin on her palms. She was staring at you again, unabashed and gaze intense. She always stared at you, like you were the most fascinating thing she’d ever encountered, like nothing could ever capture her attention quite like you did. Dare she say it, she’d even become fond of you. You admired those eyes, the way they slanted curiously, long inky lashes brushing her pale cheekbones with each fluttering blink. Min Yoonji was beautiful in a way that made your heart ache. All sirens were, of course, but Yoonji especially… when those lips quirked at some silly, miniscule motion you made, you could feel your knees turn to jelly and your heart threaten to leap right from your chest.
You hadn’t met many other sirens after you’d first washed up on the island, Yoonji had made sure of that. You had been on a ship, travelling to visit estranged relatives, when the song had begun to reach across the sea on a melody so soft and sweet you would never have guessed it’s maleficent origins. There had been two of them, both sirens you now knew but never saw, and they had been the ship’s undoing. Jimin, who had hair the colour of fine sand and a tail as beautiful as the ocean’s surface on a glimmering summer’s day, and Seokjin, whose beauty fought to rival against even that of Yoonji to you with his soft coral hair and shimmering, gossamer tail. Alone, their curling, reaching, caressing tones caused the men of the ship to tremble, their eyes fluttering closed as crystalline drops traversed the weathered planes of their face. But together, they wove a harmony so heart-wrenchingly beautiful, so dangerous and seductive, that the men were no longer themselves as they tumbled over and over, becoming one with the sea and one with the hideous creatures that sought their next meal.
You, too, had met with the ocean that night, its cold embrace sinking into your bones and turning them to ice that perhaps felt a bit more like lead. You didn’t doubt you would have sunk, you would have drowned. Inky blackness invaded your vision that night, and you didn’t think you’d wake up.
Yoonji had saved you. It was something she’d done on impulse; she was infatuated with you. There hadn’t been a human girl crossing their oceans in many moons, and she didn’t remember them being so beautiful, so fascinating. She snatched you up before her brothers could, pulling you to an uninhabited island nearby. You didn’t know how long it had really been since you had woken, sputtering, on the beach, sun harsh against your skin and body stiff with aches that seemed to come from inside your bones. You didn’t know how long it had really been, but it felt like you’d spent eons here, with only Yoonji and your own reflection in the rippling surface of the inland lagoon as company. You could feel it, the slow, gentle decline of your mental state, but how could you focus on that with a goddess, Poseidon’s pride and joy, right before your very eyes?
You hadn’t been here long when you’d first made the promise. You didn’t want to think about it but you knew, deep down you knew you weren’t going to ever make it away from here. You didn’t need to hear the soft words from Yoonji’s flower petal lips to know that you were too far off the map to ever have hope of being rescued. You were going to die here, you knew it, you felt it, just as you knew it was unavoidable.
It had been that space between dusk in night where time seemed to stand still when you’d let the words tumble from your mouth. “Yoonji, can I… can I ask you a favour?”
She had turned, eyes boring into you, without a sound, but you recognised the sign to continue. A soft gust of air left you. A well of emotion you didn’t know you harboured opened up inside you, gushing to the surface and pricking your eyes with sudden tears. You took a deep breath.
“I know… I’m going to die here, but I don’t want… I don’t want to go like that, you know? I want to go gracefully, with dignity. I don’t want to die a husk.” you confessed, ignoring the salty droplet trailing down your cheek in favour of focusing on the stars slowly peeking from the sky.
There was something about Yoonji, something she’d mentioned to you in passing one cool morning as the sun began to peek over the horizon and bathe your forms in rich, golden warmth. While other sirens, like Jimin and Seokjin, mesmerised with their sweet, honeyed voices, the same wasn’t the case for Yoonji. Her voice did not entrance, didn’t dance around you and lure you to your demise. No, Yoonji’s voice was a silken lullaby, brushing your skin with velvet tones until your eyes fluttered closed and you sunk into the warm embrace of a sleep you didn’t wake up from. Yoonji’s voice was a kiss against your skin, a kiss hiding death behind smooth dulcet tones and honeyed words. She hadn’t sung for you, because if she did it would be the first, and the last, time you would ever hear it.
Yoonji watched you as you sniffed, gaze on the stars. “When the time comes, can you… can you help me?”
A finger, long and slender, came up to brush tenderly against your cheek in the softest of touches. Yoonji’s dark eyes followed the teardrop as it slipped down her finger.
“I’ll help you,” she agreed, “When the time comes, I’ll help you.”
You’d shot her a smile, watery and grateful, and brushed your fingers against her cheek in thanks before allowing your hand to drop. A weight had lifted; you wouldn’t have to worry about it for a while, after all.
You thought maybe you could have found happiness there, on that island, with Yoonji and the beautiful lagoon. You enjoyed spending time with the siren, she made you feel alive— but you weren’t living. You consumed enough to survive, you entertained yourself well enough to distract yourself from the reality— you weren’t living.
You don’t know how long you lasted, how long you played into your own desire to pretend things were going to be okay. But you couldn’t do it forever, and you knew that Yoonji could sense the change in you, however gradual it was. Your lips still pulled into that beautiful smile she’d become infatuated with so long ago, but where was the vibrancy that once made a home in your gaze? When had the stars that once lived in your eyes returned to the sky? You were you, but you also weren’t, and she almost expected it the second those words escaped your pretty lips.
Your limbs had become heavy lately, your head swimming and hazy and you had to wade through it all just to think. You were lost and sinking further and further into the quicksand filling your chest. Without a word, your gaze found that of the siren that had kept your heart warm on all those cold nights, and she knew, even before the words left your mouth.
“Yoonji…” you murmured, tears budding in the corners of your eyes. For a moment, it seemed, the stars might have returned to your eyes. “Please… send me home. It’s… It’s time, I think.”
The siren, a heartless creature that lived and thrived off the misery she created, bit her lip as she came closer, gaze uncharacteristically fond as it swept over your prone form. The air felt like it wouldn’t reach her lungs as she took a quivering breath. “It’s time?”
At your nod, Yoonji’s eyes fell closed as she steeled herself. She’d taken many lives before, she’d hunted souls much more innocent than yours, yet the thought of your absence in this world…
Yoonji let her lips part, a low, melancholic melody flowing from her. Her song began, and the lagoon’s raw beauty paled in comparison to the heart-stopping smile you flashed at her. She didn’t want to watch, but couldn’t tear her eyes away as her song progressed. The stars returned to your eyes as her song hit the crescendo, and your eyelids fluttered closed, smile remaining even as she felt your life force leave your body and join her own.
As her song came to a close, note fading into the air so that all that remained was what you used to be, Yoonji felt something foreign slip down her cheek. Shocked, she lifted her hand to her face, fingertips coming away with a single, crystalline dewdrop. She had to let you go.
It was the first, and the last time she would ever cry for a human.
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