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#i know it's not great for secret identities but
loveydoveysunray · 2 days
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yandere! masochist
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T/W : Stalking, profanity, obsessive behavior, possessive behavior, yandere tendencies/behavior, jealousy, nsfw, basic yandere behavior, etc.
fem reader
⋆。゚☁︎。⋆。 ゚☾ ゚。⋆
₊˚⊹♡ Yandere! masochist who was you're first love. Both of you were attending your 3rd year of high school when you both started dating. You thought he was a great guy who could do not wrong but oh how wrong you were about that.
₊˚⊹♡ Yandere! masochist who is actually a really kinky guy pervert that is always clingy and overprotective or over-obsessive to be exact.
₊˚⊹♡ Yandere! masochist who loves you so much because you're such a good person! But sometimes he wishes that you were a little more mean and rough with him. He thinks that seeing you all angry is so hot, step on him please!
₊˚⊹♡ Yandere! masochist who gets all hot and bothered when you start raising your voice as him. If you were like that all the time he'd die!
₊˚⊹♡ Yandere! masochist who wants to get caught jerking off to your scent with your shirt stuffed against his face and your panties tightly wrapped around his cock so you can punish him like the bad boy he is.
When he does get caught he acts as if he didn't do anything wrong in an attempt to get you even more upset at him. He hopes you let him cum before ripping your clothes out of his grasp. Once you get your clothes away from him, he notices that smirk slowly creeping onto your face. "If you like cumming to my clothes that much why didn't you just say so? You know you can ask me to give you a hand right?" you purred with a smile and straddled him on the bed he was laying on.
"[n-name] it wasn't what it looked like! you've got it all wrong!" he whimpered as you slowly began grinding on his cock. It took everything in him to not cum just by how close you were to him already and the fact that he could feel your wet pussy on his dick didn't make things better.
"What?" you asked as you looked down at him with a glare. "I think I get what's going on here enough to know that you're a secret pervert that probably does this more than I already think."
"Hmm... I guess since it's not what it looks like I can just get off and go back to what I was doing before I was here." you halted your slow grinding which caused your boyfriend to whine.
"N-no! Please keep going [name], I need it!" he whispered, hoping you'd continue. "Wow, who would've know you were such a slut for me hmm?? You really should've asked for my help from the start."
Once you said the word 'slut' your boyfriend practically passed out. How cruel of you to call him that, even if it's true.
You started rolling your hips at the same pace as before and your boyfriend's eyes rolled to the back of his head. "K-keep going please [name]...." he whimpered while you wrapped your hands around his neck to give him a kiss on the lips.
₊˚⊹♡ Yandere! masochist who loves when you're in control when you both sex. He wants you to sit on his face and tease his cock as much as you can with denying him his release. He wants you to always leave marks and hickeys all over his body so people know he's yours and yours alone.
₊˚⊹♡ Yandere! masochist who always has an arm around you when other people are around no matter what their gender identity they are, he just doesn't like when people have your attention.
₊˚⊹♡ Yandere! masochist who hopes you bully him more so he can cum in his pants like the pervert he is.
"c'mon [name], i just want you to sit on my face and tease my pretty cock with your beautiful mouth!"
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lucabyte · 2 days
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obligatory ramble about postcanon loop ask
also your art is amazing
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Hiiiiiiiii :D thank you :)!!
and thank you for the excuse to post the. just absolute wall of text that i truncated down to form the tags of that post. (i did,,, hit the tag limit. i forgot tumblr had one of those...) so let me just paste that and tidy it up a bit...
I am putting this under a readmore because it's a bit long. but:
This is like. The General Context for all* of my postcanon doodles? (Except AUs obviously) Like this is the base idea I've been drawing them all in. So, feel free to backread with this in mind. I've basically had this 'postcanon' timeline set in my brain since finishing the game...
My general thoughts are that I like the idea of Loop (even if through dubiously ethical means) being able to slowly reintegrate with the party as a whole new person, because they are, in fact, their own person.
It's a muddle of thematic threads im pulling on and "wouldn't it be fucked up if", but. (at its core, it's powered by the fact that like, while narratively isat's theme of 'the only person who can truly take the first step to help you is yourself'. (wrt: loop helping the party help siffrin in act 5) which i LOVE AND IS GREAT NARRATIVELY…. would be super fucked up irl to learn that your friend 'learned as a lesson' while you stood by kinda uselessly. I know i'd be upset about it. but thats mostly background here. doesn't really come up. at least not until loop has to explain who they are and the party realises they had to fall back on literally themselves again for help, but i digress,)
The real core concept is: Occam's razor. It is like, inherently, a buckwild thing to accuse a person of being somehow a clone or copy of your friend. Even if they start vaguely alluding to a backstory it's far more likely they were some other person before all that. (I still think Odile has that theory in the back pocket but she's rational enough to know it's a really long shot without a solid explanation. and i think Loop deep down knows this, and would, if cornered into confessing, turn the situation around to go J'ACCUSE and make HER explain it instead. Ever longer dodging being direct with their emotions...)
And the party are nice! And if someone has changed and wants to keep stuff secret it's kind of not their business? (Though it's hard not to speculate… see: the main joke of the doodles) And they seem important to Siffrin so they just try to accept them abrasive quirks and all. And eventually the question of their prior identity just fades away since, well, they're Loop. Their friend Loop.
but yeah. personal headcanon is that a few months/weeks after picking up and getting aquainted with Nille** (since that was presumably the IMMEDIATE TASK postgame), Loop reappears (either after a literal period of nonexistance, or just spending a few months wandering the french countryside alone being attacked by wild dogs). Since Siffrin has had a while to be therapised by the party they're doing mostly okay, but Loop showing up and still being agitated/aggressive pulls them both into a bit of a backslide behaviourally and puts the party on the back foot again.
Hooowever, I do think that due to no longer being literally stewing in the worst pressure cooker of all time together, the two do mostly actually sort themselves out with productive conversation. (Via a cycle of: genuinely distressing argument -> weeeird lovebombing -> ok we're good -> repeat, that gets less intense over time)
Thus, allowing the party to just. Integrate loop as a new person. They and Siffrin shuffle into different ecological niches (Loop taking over stuff Siffrin is now too squeamish for, etc (see: hunting, mostly)), and while it's not exactly what Loop wanted they generally get that beggars can't be choosers and it's a pretty good deal. And the rest of the party does straight up just like them as a friend, especially when Loop quits trying to actively antagonise them after a few weeks of being around them, since they just can't keep up being mean to people they like forever.
As for how I think the truth eventually drags itself out. This is where I invoke The Isabeau Torment Nexus™. So its gonna get shippy here for a bit hold on.
Which is, I think giving them time before Loop reappears long enough that Siffrin and Iseabeau actually manage to become established, Isabeau has to be the one to nudge the pair of them and go. "Hey. You know we're in Vaugarde right. I'm okay with polyamory if we all communicate." Before Loop and Siffrin actually even acknowledge that whatever the fuck they have going on kinda looks a lot like a relationship of some kind. (or have already been agonising about that via fighting and arguing, depending) (Obviously this comes after Isa "Emotionally intelligent enough to keep a lid on the jealousy" Beau has managed to use that big brain of his to Not just go Scream somewhere on the daily because oh godddd they keep talking like theyre suicide-baiting each other jesus chriiist. is it overstepping his boundaries to bring that up?? god)
This, taking a bunch of the tension out of Loop and Isabeau's relationship (Since I imagine Loop is a. being weird for the obvious reasons and b. feeling kinda guilty about 'getting in the way of' Siffrin and Iseabeau), allows them to actually get close in a normal friend way. (I think an interesting turning point could be Isabeau actually taking Loop's side in an argument vs Siffrin, which would absolutely break Loop's brain. Especially if it's an argument that matters. Like what do you mean he isn't just going to play favourites. What?)
Then Isabeau, just actually open minded and charmed by Loop (and maybe even somewhat at Siffrin's suggestion?) tries to close the final open side on the polyamory triangle here and that's the final straw for Loop on "This lie by omission is too unethical to keep up, this is just actually sick and wrong. I can't do this while he doesn't know who I am." Though. Obviously it probably goes. Very poorly with emotions high like that. And the added element of several months of deceit. Getting dark here for a second but that dagger is going MISSING and so are THEY for a hot minute.
Then yaaay everything works out in the end 👍 yippieee!! all it took was maybe a lot of harrowed recontextualisation of all the weird shit your new friend said and did when it turns out they're your old friend. It's fine.
But yeah. this is basically the context all of my postcanon doodles have existed within? And those exist to give other people something to chew on. So this does too.
I suppose TL;DR: Imagine if sloopis almost fucking happens before isabeau knows who loop is. can you fucking imagine. can you imagine having to navigate that. nightmare.
*Yes this includes the implied cannibalism comic. Uhh. Comes part and parcel with headcanoning that Loop went way off the deep end similar to A5 Sif But Maybe Worse before giving in. Add weepy half-asleep confessions to murder wherever you see fit in your mind palace. 👍👍👍
**Re: Nille footnote. I don't have anywhere to put this besides here! I have some thoughts on Loop and Nille having an odd dynamic. I don't imagine Nille to be super gung-ho on trusting a bunch of adults (even if they are majority around her age) given their implied backstory. It's probably a big shock to the system, especially since Bambouche is a good couple hundred Kilometers up north from Dormont and these guys don't seem to have trains. She would've been unfrozen and without Bonnie for some time....
Which is to say: I think she's suspicious of them. I think she may be looking for excuses to distance herself, keep Bonnie safe. SO.... A new guy showing up? And antagonising the party? What do they know that I don't...? I should find out.
And since... Loop didn't ever know Nille, they have no ammunition or real reason to be cruel. Plus, if they're trying to stay on Bonnie's good side (SINCE... if Bonnie thought Loop was cringe they may as well kill themselves. In their mind.) they SUPER have no reason to antagonise Nille.
Mostly, they might be able to open up to each other easier than they can the rest of the party?
I feel like this resolves with Loop feeling compelled to apologise for what they and Siffrin let happen to Bonnie, though... Hmm... Depends on how you interpret Nille that they'd be glad nobody else had been told about that yet, or furious it had been secret this long. I lean toward the former.
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sanguineterrain · 5 hours
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hi sanne!!! my mind has been rotting with assistant!reader x dick, and i literally can’t get it out 😭. i'm in love with your writing and reblog everything! thank you so much, have a great day!!
cute idea! I gave it a little twist ;) hope u enjoy!
dick grayson x gn!assistant!reader. flirting, secret identities, sparring.
****
Bruce Wayne is evasive on a good day and downright invisible on a bad one.
So when you see him down the hallway from his office, attempting to escape without being caught, you nearly trip on your feet trying to catch him.
"Mr. Wayne!"
His shoulders rise with tension. You pity the guy, you really do. Being a gazillionaire is tough.
"Mr. Wayne! Mr. Wayne, Sharon has been hounding me about the charity dinner. Please, if you could just go to this one dinner... you haven't been to an event all month."
And you're getting the brunt of it from all of WE's clients.
Bruce turns, his smile looking more like a grimace. "Hn. Hello. A dinner? I was sure I had a shareholder meeting that day—"
"All month? B, what happened to the two event minimum? That's your rule."
The new voice comes from behind you. Dick Grayson walks down the hallway, wearing jeans that probably cost as much as your monthly rent.
"Mr. Grayson," you say, nodding primly. "How are you?"
You shift the files in your hands as they start to slip. Dick is quick to catch them, balancing the stack.
"We've been through this," he says with a smile. "You know you can call me Dick."
Yes, you've been through this. Every time Dick shows up to Wayne Enterprises, he tells you to call him by his first name. And every time after that, you call him Mr. Grayson.
"Right..." you say, taking back the files. You turn to Bruce. "Mr. Wayne, if you would just consider the dinner..."
Dick gives Bruce a severe look. "B, this is ridiculous. You're such a stickler for rules and yet—"
"Oh, look at the time." Bruce scoots past you and Dick. "I've got that meeting with Lucius. Where does the day go? Please tell Sharon I'll get back to her."
You can't understand how a guy whose biggest exertion is made by playing tennis at the country club can slip through your fingers so fast. He's around the corner before you can blink. You sigh.
"Don't worry," Dick says. "I'll get him to go. And I'll get one of my siblings to tag along to make sure he doesn't duck out early."
You smile briefly. "I'd appreciate that, Mr. Grayson."
"Dick. So!" He trails behind you as you make your way back to your office. "Do you have any plans for tonight?"
"Working."
"O-kay..." Dick jogs ahead to hold the door open for you. You push through, trying not to frown. "What about tomorrow night?"
You toss your scarf on the hook. It ends up on the floor. You ignore it.
"Still working."
"How 'bout I ask B to give you the day off then?"
Now it's your turn to give a severe look. "If you're implying that I'd be obligated to go out with you in return for a day off, you've completely misjudged my character, Mr. Grayson."
"Whoa, okay." He holds up his hands. "You're right, that didn't come out right. How about I get him to give you a day off, no strings attached?"
You dump your files and sit at your desk. "That's at your discretion."
"Hey." Dick leans on your desk, puppy eyes at full power. "Maybe we've gotten off on the wrong foot. Did I do something that put you off? I'd like you to tell me if I have. I hope the fact that I'm Bruce's son isn't stopping you from being honest."
You put down your pen and look at him. "Look. You seem like a nice guy, and you're handsome with a rich dad to boot. But I'm just not available, okay? You're looking for someone to go to Tahiti with. I respect that. But I'm not that person. I'm just not interested in that."
"You think I'm handsome?"
You sigh and open your laptop.
"Right! Sorry. Not the point." Dick sinks into a crouch next to you. He pulls the oddest poses sometimes, like he's made of rubber bands. "Okay. You're not looking for a trip to Tahiti. Got it. I don't take many vacations anyway. So how about having a friend?"
"And why would you want to be my friend? I'm just some assistant."
"Well, I..." Dick scratches his neck. "I like you. Is that so hard to believe?"
Very. But okay. You can throw him a bone.
"I guess not," you say.
Dick frowns. "You don't believe me."
How does he do that?
"Can I please get back to work?" you ask, only a little worried about being rude. "I'm sorry, I'm just very busy."
His face falls briefly before he stands and nods.
"Of course. No problem. I'll see you around? And I'll get B to go to that dinner."
"Thank you."
You don't notice his lingering looks, or the fact that he picks up your scarf and places it on the hook on his way out.
****
3...17...64.
The safe clicks. You smirk. Easy peasy. The hotshots always use their own birthdays for combinations. Predictable. You bet Bruce Wayne does the same.
It's a blessing that you were able to duck out early today. Bruce gave you the rest of the afternoon off. You suspect that was due to some outside meddling.
You take out the files from D.A. Colson's safe. You always say that if crooked district attorneys don't want their documents stolen, they shouldn't put them where anybody can find them.
...Maybe you were too harsh with Dick. He's sweet, no doubt. It was nice of him to get you off early. But you kind of feel like he'd take issue with the fact that you spend your weeknights breaking and entering.
"You know, cracking safes is already Catwoman's shtick," a voice says behind you. "You might wanna find a new gimmick."
A thrill shoots through you. You toss your head as you turn, leaning against the open safe.
"Catwoman steals diamonds." You hold up the documents. "I just steal files."
"Files from the district attorney," Nightwing says, crossing his arms.
"The dirty district attorney," you correct.
"I'm supposed to let you off on a technicality?" He sounds amused.
Your shrug one shoulder, a little coy. "You could. I hear you're the nice one."
He laughs. Nightwing has a pretty smile. It's the first thing you'd noticed about him.
"Oh, yeah? Anything else you've heard?"
"Plenty. But I'm in a bit of a hurry tonight, Wing. As much as I enjoy our little chats..."
You dart to the window. Nightwing easily blocks your exit.
You're not quite sure what overtakes you when you run into Nightwing. Ignoring the fact that he manages to be the one to chase you almost every time (and what a chase it is), there's a tension between you. Or maybe it's just one-sided on your part. It certainly doesn't help that he's got a nice smile and bouncy hair.
"You know I can't let you go," he says, hands on his hips. "Put it down."
And he's extremely good at what he does.
"Make me," you say.
He never uses his escrima sticks, which you know is a courtesy to you. But that doesn't mean you can't hold your own.
"Alright," Nightwing says, smirking slightly.
He takes three steps, blocks your immediate kick, and takes the documents.
Something swoops in your belly. You kind of get why Catwoman exclusively fights Batman. Once you go bat, you never go back.
"Got them," he says cheerily. "Now what?"
You throw a glass bird tchotchke at him from Colson's desk. He catches it with his free hand, but it's enough of a distraction for you to slide into his legs. Nightwing stumbles less than you would like, but you push him down against the desk.
He grunts as he hits the wood, then rolls you over in the next breath, hands catching your wrists.
"Stealing... makes you no better... than Colson," he says, hair falling over his mask. All of him is pretty, really. It's too bad he's so firmly on the blind side of justice.
"If these documents are released, Colson will win his case and bury his own crimes in the process. Is that what you want? Another crook in court?" you ask.
Nightwing frowns. "You know that's not fair. We can't toss a case for the sake of putting Colson behind bars. And if we pick and choose whose lives to play with, what gives us the right to carry out justice?"
"I dunno, Wing," you say, a little breathless. Nightwing's hips are politely shifted off of yours, chest to yours. "Seeing you go rogue would be kind of exciting."
You can tell he's glaring at you. "Not in your dreams."
"Been in my dreams, have you?"
You gain enough leverage to push Nightwing off of you. He's back on you immediately, trapping you against the wall.
"How is doing something like this not crooked?" he asks.
You scoff. "It's for charity. I'm donating residents to the county jail."
You twist in Nightwing's hold and land a kick. In the three seconds he's distracted, you grab the documents. No sooner do you do that does Nightwing tackle you. The documents slip out of your hand.
"I can do this all night," he says, knee wedged between your legs. "Might as well yield."
"Yield? You're not even playing at your full strength, hotshot."
He smiles. "No, I'm playing nice."
You roll your eyes. "Well, play fair."
And then you jump out of the window.
Your tuck and roll isn't the worst but it's not the best. Especially when Nightwing neatly lands a few feet away without a wince.
"Showoff," you say.
"Give me the documents," he says. "I want to put Colson away, too. But this isn't how to do it. He's still a civilian, and his client's life matters."
You get up and wobble on a loose brick on the edge. Stupid historical buildings.
You're desperate. If he keeps this up, you're bound to land yourself a night in the police station and lose the documents.
So you dust yourself off. And you stop. Right at the edge of the roof.
"Okay," you say.
Nightwing takes a careful step forward. "Okay?"
You toss the documents to him. He catches them in surprise.
"You're surrendering?" he asks.
You shrug. "Like you said: you can do this all night. And I guess there are better ways to catch Colson. More permanent ways."
He tilts his head. "You're not gonna kill him, are you?"
"No! Jesus, man. Ye of little faith."
"I'm just trying to understand why you surrendered."
You sigh. "Because you always win anyway. You're a better fighter than me. And I'm cornered. I just feel like cutting my losses early. You're a lot more convincing than Batman."
"Is that so?"
"Oh, yeah. I much prefer you chasing me."
"Uh-huh." He nods towards the building. "Come on, then."
"Okay, sure."
You take a step. And you fall.
The brick is loose under your foot. It doesn't take much for you to keep going.
Panic surges through you, but that only solidifies your acting.
"Wing!" you cry, toppling over the edge.
"Shit!"
Nightwing lunges and grabs you by your waist, then uses momentum to haul you both to safety. His cheek against yours for a moment, body pressed to yours. It really is a damn shame he's such a Boy Scout.
You knock him in the stomach and snatch the documents, then separate from his grip. You watch his face contort in realization as you land and bolt.
"That wasn't playing nice or fair!" he yells, landing on the opposite side.
You're already gone, laughter echoing.
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hailsatanacab · 6 months
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A Persuasive Argument - dpxdc
"Great!" Danny says, clapping his hands together to get everyone's attention. The dinner table falls silent as everyone looks towards him. It's a full house today and, honestly, Danny's a little nervous. "I'm sure you're all wondering why I gathered you here today."
"It's dinnertime. In our house." Duke mutters, while doing a very bad job of concealing his yawn. He holds his fork poised over the braised beef, but, just like everyone else, still looks towards Danny before tucking in. It's intriguing enough to wait.
"Yeah, no one misses Alfie's dinner." Dick says, with a brilliant smile that Danny can't help but return.
"Precisely! What better time to talk to you all than when you're all actually here!"
"Wait, I thought you came round to work on our English essays?" Tim asks, blinking owlishly.
"I'm afraid I've lured you here under false pretences, Tim."
"This is where I live."
"I would still really appreciate help on that essay though, I mean, what the hell is Hamlet even about? I just don't get that old time-y language, like 'Hark! A ghost hath killed me!' - absolute rubbish, what does that even mean?"
"The ghost never kills anyone in Hamlet, he's there to tell Hamlet that he was murdered. Have you actually read it?"
"No, but it sounds like you have. Tim, I want this guy to help me with my essay instead. I know for a fact that you haven't read Hamlet, either."
"So? We don't need Jason, I've read the Sparknotes."
"Hi Jason, I'm Danny, pleasure to meet you, summarise Hamlet in three sentences or less."
"Am I auditioning to help you write your essays? I can't believe you’ve gone through your whole school life without reading it, it’s good!"
"Hamlet, along with a number of other classics, was banned in our house because it portrayed ghosts as intelligent and sympathetic beings rather than evil, animalistic beasts. I didn’t even get to see The Muppet's Christmas Carol until last year with Tim! It was surprisingly good, and I hate Christmas because everyone always argued and it sucked. But we're getting off topic. I—"
"No, no, please go back to that, because what the fu—"
"Boys, please." Bruce interrupts, looking to the world as if he wants to hang his head in his hands. "Danny, you were about to say something?"
"Oh, yeah, Mr. Wayne! Thanks!"
"Please, call me Bruce."
"Well, that very succinctly brings me to my point, because I'd actually really like to call you dad."
Nobody says a word. Nobody even blinks, all as shocked as the other, watching open-mouthed as Danny pulls his laptop out from beside his chair. Bruce can definitely feel a headache coming on.
"Before you say anything, I've prepared a 69 slide PowerPoint presentation on why you, Bruce Wayne, should adopt me, Danny Last-Name-Pending. Please save your questions, comments, and verdict until the end, thank you."
#dpxdc#batpham#i forget - can we tag the parent fandoms? w/e#immediately alfred's like: while i do appreciate your initiative may i suggest it wait until after dinner?#and danny - who has barely eaten proper homecooked food ever - takes one bite and then absolutely wolfs down the whole lot#after he's finished he's like 'bear with - I've got to add that to the 'Reasons I Would Like to Live Here' section'#danny's powerpoint has tailored sections for each batfam member with lists of reasons why they'd get along#my au thoughts on this is that the fentons disowned danny when he told them he was phantom#and that this is after the ultimate enemy - wherein which he allied himself with the JL to fight against dan#(which didnt really work at all - BUT he knows some of their identities now INCLUDING batman's)#so one of the main reasons why he'd be a great fit is that he knows their vigilante status anyway so they don’t need to worry about secrets#dick just turns to tim like 'he’s your friend. he learnt this from you.'#tim: 'i didn't tell him our identities!! i would never!!'#dick: 'no i know that. it's the stalker tendancies. it's baby tim all over again'#tim: scandalised gasp#they all eat dinner in silence just super subdued and in shock and sending glances to bruce and danny#duke like: 'so i know I'm the last one in the family but like... this isn't how it normally happens right? did any of you make powerpoints?#tim gets all shifty because he absolutely did make a powerpoint he just never actually showed it to anyone#everyone stares at tim because they all know. it was in one of bab's blackmail files she has on him#damian's slide has danny offering to throw down at any time. 'tim says you like to prove yourself with your skills?#how about a real challenge? if i beat you then you have to vote yes to adopting me!'#damian is in two minds about accepting because... 1) look at him damian could take danny in his sleep! but#2) on the off chance that he does win... damian does not want any more brothers#(he takes the bet and its a suprisingly fun fight - and while he'll never say this... he would vote yes even without the wager)#on one of danny's slides there's a picture of ellie: you'll also get my clone sister! two children for the price of one!!#uhhh.... thats it now - I've been having fun with this haha#spent all day with the 'ive lured you here under false pretences' 'danny i live here' line in my head haha#anyway enjoy!!!!!! this was fun#i wanna make these slides so bad
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welcometogrouchland · 2 months
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I love Steph's origin as told in the Secret Origins 80 page giant- I just overall think it strengthens her character by giving her a lot of pathos and adding to her heroism (which isn't something writers were focused on in her actual intro in detective comics #647 since she was just meant to act as a plot device back then) BUT there is one tiny detail in it i will begrudge, and that is the portrayal of her having a minor love at first sight moment for tim
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Secret origins 80 page giant, ID in alt
(or well, technically this was their second meeting in that story (the brick was the first) so...love at second sight?)
Mostly because Stephanie showed no interest in her introduction and only showed romantic feelings towards Tim AFTER this moment here:
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Robin (1993) #4, ID in alt
Straight up the progression here goes:
The adventure in 'tec where they first meet -> Tim investigating the same crime scene as Steph -> she beats him up not knowing it's him at first, apologizes but says he shouldn't have scared her -> he remembers her/the moniker she goes by -> they talk about plot for a few pages -> Stephanie starts flirting
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Robin (1993) #4, ID in alt
Which...is so fascinating to me and says so much about Stephanie. She highlights the fact that Tim "remembered" her. Like. Steph. Girl. This is our bar? It's sweet but kind of speaks to how much Stephanie is ignored at home/how little and sporadically she's shown interacting with her peers (and rarely ever the same kids twice). Her idea of peak romance is just...being on someone's mind even when you're not there.
Kind of also adds layers to Steph's proclivity towards jealousy later on, a manifestation of her insecurity and loneliness (though don't get it twisted, she's not written this way bc Dixon and co think it's an interesting character flaw, they wrote it bc they think it's an inherent character flaw of (particularly young) women/girls, which is very apparent in how he approaches Ariana's character as well from what I've read)
Also the fact that Steph becomes so smitten for Tim almost immediately after this is (a few issues later she aggressively flirts with him during AN ACTIVE HOSTAGE SITUATION. WHERE SHE'S THE HOSTAGE) again is kind of a mixture of kind of funny and sad. One boy is nice to her once and she's fully ready to wife him. Girl you are deranged (affectionate) (concerned)
#ramblings of a lunatic#dc comics#stephanie brown#tim drake#timsteph#meta#< ??? ig#robin 1993#made this post and forgot to finish. saved it in drafts. saw posts that annoyed me. proceeded to finish it#the subset of fans who think they're doing a righteous feminism by giving steph more flaws than she has in canon...headaches#yes flawed female characters are important representation no i dont think you projecting chuck dixons conservative values onto her-#-is doing her character a great favour. if so you need to commit to the bit and make tim a stone cold nark /j#sorry okay im done vaguing. there's real things going on in the world that matter. the bad take is the mind killer etc etc#anyway the zero to 100 progression of early timsteph is fascinating. on the one hand i know it's mostly a product of its time#both in terms of portrayals of romance (esp teen romance) and partially of women and girls by dixon (not extremely boy obsessed-#-but there's a. dark shadow of the boy crazy trope. a gentle whiff of it in the air. just a little)#but bc this aspect isn't blatantly/egregiously author bias i choose to analyse it#i could also analyse how steph in general is portrayed as liking guys she can't/shouldn't have a little#(her crush on the much older detective in bg2009 and also tim a little bit w/ the secret identity thing)#(but that's a whole other discussion. also that aspect of the romance in bg2009 is. also a little sexistly motivated-#-and also dropped part way through to an extent so like..not exactly ripe for analysis)#ANYWHO i love you Steph <3 you're unwell and yet so adorable and compelling Steph <3
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turtletoria · 1 year
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inspired by the viral videos of Professor Tatiana Erukhimova doing physics demos for kids :-D
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phoenixcatch7 · 1 year
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I know 'person with secret to hide spots other person with secret to hide but doesn't say anything' is like. Thee trope in superhero crossovers, but come on! Some of these guys have been doing this for decades! There's tons of heroes that have gone to pretty extreme lengths to be Completely Imperceptible in civilian life.
Don't you think it's scarier, after all is said and done, to sit there and think I didn't notice a thing? I wouldn't have ever realised? I would never have known? To know that someone you were familiar with - close with, even! - had this whole other personality and skillset and powers and experiences and life just behind the curtain, and they hid it so completely you didn't even see it was there.
'I always knew there was something off' what if you didn't. How world shaking would it be to be so utterly blindsided? To know that this person had somehow learned to so deceptive?
#Strongly inspired by the dp x dc where Danny knows what up IMMEDIATELY or a bat clocks Danny as super suspicious within mins of meeting#Or the amount of reveal fics caused by the hero slipping up in some stupid way and getting themselves doxxed against their will#Like come on!! Full time heroes like superman or batman or Spidey go to great lengths to construct an entirely separate civilian persona!#And yes I know they've had their idiot moments when it comes to their identities but they've kept their secret rock solid for irl DECADES#What's an identity reveal without drama!! Shake it up! Stir the pot! Not a slow and gradual build up of suspicion and stress#But two high speed trains coming at right-angles and the audience is the only one who can see the incoming crash#Twist the knife in if you want. Make it HURT. Make it completely rewrite what they believed.#Short ID reveals are great for this because you can SEE the ripple effects spreading out as the story ends. Just BANG.#But also no ID reveal at all. The main character goes through the story regularly interacting with and developing character right alongside#A hero in hiding and no one is ever the wiser. You're a worker in WE fending off attempts to steal your inventions and Bruce Wayne#Invites you to his office to discuss security and he walks you back to your office when you get nervous about a break in.#You're struggling with school bullies and getting into trouble over your photography hobby and Peter Parker is right there alongside#You complaining about rich kids and fiddling with the outdated finicky lenses you got from the school.#You're a reporter unpicking a mystery scandal and you ask resident tank Clark Kent if he's able to play bodyguard if you go somewhere shady#The reader knows. No one else notices a thing.#And besides focusing on the civilian side is a nice change of pace! Let's see how they manage leading double lives!#What do I even tag this#batman#superman#Marvel#Dcu#spiderman#secret identity#identity reveal#long tags#captain marvel#miraculous ladybug#I know I know#hero and villain
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oifaaa · 1 year
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Okay but for real
If Peter Parker was in DC, he would either get adopted
Or hired by Bruce depending on his age
He's not getting adopted he's got aunt may and besides that comics Peter is like late 20s early 30s he's a bit too old for that and I also don't think Bruce would hire him or if he did it wouldn't last long Peters just a bad luck magnet having a nice long term job isn't in the cards for him
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arc-777 · 1 year
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Headcanon:
Since coming back to life, Jason has had a significantly weaker pulse to the point that no one but a very well trained medical professional could even identify it as a pulse. Also, he can for far longer without oxygen. And he doesn’t need to blink as much either. Basically all his body processes are just way slower. Maybe it’s the pit, idk. So this means that when he as red hood wants to get away from the various bats, especially Bruce, he’ll remove the red hood helmet and hide it, and then lie down and act dead. The bat in question comes across his body and, logically, thinks they they are hallucinating. At one point it happens to Bruce, who breaks down and Carrie’s his son’s body back to the manor in a fit of panic. Jason escapes as soon as Bruce looks away for a second. It happens to dick and Tim too. Alfred and cass are the only ones who know what’s up, but they aren’t gonna spoil it.
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cephalog0d · 1 year
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Snippet Sunday
Tagged by @outtoshatter for Snippet Sunday!
This is technically more Reverse!Robins AU but that's not really relevant here except that I'm not necessarily holding strictly to canon. Tim's about 12 here.
It wasn’t like Tim was trying to figure out Batman’s secret identity, at least not much more so than the rest of the city. Speculating on who was behind the cowl was basically a requirement for living in Gotham, and with how much time Tim spent trawling through Gothamite media he saw all sorts of theories. (He was actually pretty sure at least some of them were deliberate misinformation from either Batman himself or someone allied with him, although exactly which ones he couldn’t quite pin down.)
The lazy ones just picked someone of roughly the right height and build and didn’t bother any further, which was wildly uninteresting and not worth the time it took to even read them. Sometimes people got more creative, though. Tim’s current favorite (at least for entertainment if not for accuracy) involved a complicated plot by the GCPD using body doubles and mirrors and possibly, as of the most recent update, next generation hologram technology to disguise the fact that Batman was actually Commissioner Gordon. The main advocate for that one was impressively dedicated despite how many people kept throwing metaphorical wrenches into the works in the form of very reasonable questions about how and why and in what universe does this make sense. Tim appreciated the commitment, though.
(Maybe Batman and/or his allies had sock puppets, to further the debate? Tim would, if he was trying to sow misinformation. Or maybe people were just that weird. It was hard to tell.)
(Spoilers, much like in regular canon it isn't Bruce who gives them away, it's his protege, except this time it's Damian instead of Dick.)
(Is this partly why Damian and Tim have a fairly antagonistic relationship at first, yes, it absolutely is.)
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xmenred2022 · 10 months
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ALSO the punisher (2004)’s repeated use of western motifs when frank does something cool is so funny when any good western dealing with similar themes is like the glorification of violence on the path to revenge can be more damaging to the soul than what started it and the longer you stray down that road the more it consumes your life until you’re no longer the same person that you started as. Like watch The Bravados (1958) or something 🙄.
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that-bi-bitch-writes · 8 months
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can i say something surprising?
i don't like batman, especially not fandom batman that just knows everything
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abyssruler · 8 months
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roses are red, violets are blue, lynette is so done with the two of you
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lyney x gn!reader
lynette thinks fontaine’s worst kept secret isn’t how neuvillette wears blue underwear or how the hydro archon loves a good drama, no, fontaine’s worst kept secret is lyney’s massive crush on you and how everyone and their grandmother know except you.
comedy, pining lyney, lynette being so done
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Lyney’s frowning.
Most people would find it an odd expression on him, used to having him direct dazzling smiles and playful laughter their way. But Lynette isn’t just anyone, and the sight of Lyney frowning is hardly a rare phenomenon within the privacy of their household.
Freminet’s usually Lyney’s choice of victim for whatever nonsense he’s managed to build himself up in that head of his, but Freminet’s busy doing errands and Lynette is unfortunately the only person within vicinity that Lyney trusts with his secret—which isn’t even a secret by this point, people have been making bets on how long it would take you to realize that Lyney’s been pining over you since forever.
Case in point: Lyney frowning over two identical flowers. She doesn’t need to be a mind reader to know that her brother is having a midlife crisis over which flower to give you.
Lynette thinks he should just man up and confess. Preferably within the next week or so, otherwise she’d lose her bet.
“Lynette, which one is more eye-catching, the crimson one,” he holds up the flower in his right hand, then he raises the other one, “or the maroon one?”
Lynette gives him the deadest stare she can muster. “They’re the same color.”
“Oh, sister, have you no taste?” Lyney tuts, pouting at her for a moment before returning to that constipated look as he squinted at the ‘crimson’ and ‘maroon’ flowers. Talk about being delusional.
“(Y/N)’s not gonna care whether the rose is crimson or maroon or red,” she tells him. You’d probably accept a dead flower if it came from Lyney, with that starry-eyed look you always got whenever he so much as glances your way. Lynette’s not one to judge other people’s taste too harshly, but she does wonder what you see in her overdramatic and annoying brother.
Ah, well. They do say love makes people blind. Hopefully not literally though, Lynette’s not looking forward to performing shows alone because Lyney got blinded by his love for you—though if you asked Lynette, she’d tell you it wasn’t love so much as obsession. Only someone insane would spend hours picking out flowers and calling them ‘maroon’ and ‘crimson’. It’s just red.
Lynette squints at him. “And since when were you interested in the meaning of flowers?”
“Well, I suppose you could say I like to dabble in other pursuits.” Lyney gives her a cheeky grin.
“Right…” He’s clearly losing his mind.
“Red roses symbolize true love, though rainbow roses in particular pertain to passion, and…” He trails off, eyes blinking in astonishment. She can practically see the lightbulb appearing on top of his head.
With a flick of his wrists, the ‘crimson’ and ‘maroon’ roses disappear. Lynette watches him warily, wondering what kind of outlandish idea has formed in that head of his.
But he doesn’t elaborate more, only shoots a wink at her and says, “I’ve got a great idea.”
His great idea, as it turns out, is to corner you in an alleyway and make it rain rainbow roses around you as he asked you out on a date, all while Lynette is crouched on the roof, dumping sacks of rainbow roses and vindictively hoping one of them stabs Lyney in the eye. No such luck.
You, as the ever-crazy romantic that you are, are awestruck and amazed by what he’s done instead of weirded out like how a normal person would be. With an eager smile and a twinkle in your eye, you accept the rose in Lyney’s hand and say yes when he asks you to meet him for dinner tomorrow. Lynette wants to barf, but settles for dumping another sack of flowers on top of the two of you.
And if she uses a little bit of anemo to direct a few petals to Lyney’s face? Well, you removing a petal sticking to his cheek and having your fingers linger there for a few moments wasn’t part of the plan (the plan being: embarrass her brother by having him choke on a petal while he’s speaking), but she can’t entirely begrudge the result. Not when Lyney looks like he’s about to have a meltdown with just one touch from you. Good blackmail material right there.
Lynette’s happy that the two of you have finally gotten your heads off your asses and are actually going on a date. Though mostly she’s happy about the amount of mora heading her way soon.
She’ll have to thank Freminet for telling her about the bet about you and Lyney. Maybe she can start a new bet on when the two of you are getting married—probably soon, if the lovestruck look on Lyney’s face is anything to go by. She hopes he won’t be crazy enough to propose on the second date, because you’d certainly be crazy enough to accept if he did.
Oh, well. Lynette will put a bet on one month just in case.
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queenofthequillandink · 5 months
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Steph's new roommate's little brother was absolutely a meta.
The two of them weren't really trying particularly hard to hide it, but they weren't mentioning it either, so Steph just... followed their lead. Especially because Jazz, while a little neurotic, was a pretty good roommate and new some truly innovative things to make in the microwave with whatever was in their dorm fridge.
But anyway, back to the meta thing. Steph could totally back it up.
Jazz was from the Midwest somewhere, one of the "I" states. (Indiana? Illinois? Iowa? Steph could never keep them straight.) From the way Jazz talked about her parents and the things she said to Danny, Steph could tell that the Fentons still lived there and Danny with them. Yet at least four nights out of seven, without fail, Steph would come home from a long night studying or vigilante-ing to find Danny in their dorm room, usually passed out on the futon. As though Gotham wasn't halfway across the country from Indiana or Illinois or Iowa.
"Our parents are pretty loud," Jazz explained with a quiet grimace, the first time it happened. "Like 'keep you awake at all hours of the night' loud. I told Danny he could sleep here when he needs to, is that okay? Tucker's parents are great, but they'll kick him out eventually."
"As a sleep-deprived college kid, I wholeheartedly support sleeping wherever you can get it," Steph whispered back. "As long as he doesn't eat my half of the food, I'm not gonna tattle to the RA."
"Thank you thank you thank you!" Jazz squealed, flapping her hands. Steph darted a glance at the teenager passed out on their futon, but he didn't even twitch. "Oh, don't worry, you have to be loud enough to wake the dead to get Danny up," Jazz said with a smirk.
"Alright. Makes things easier, I suppose," Steph said with a shrug, moving to sling her backpack onto her bunk. "He gonna be here in the morning?"
Jazz narrowed her eyes as though Elder Sister Glare could penetrate dreams. Hell, maybe it could. "He'll be at school before you wake up, if he knows what's good for him."
School. Which should be halfway across the country. Sure. Well, Steph could recognize a topic that Simply Wasn't Spoken About and unlike the rest of the Bats, she actually respected her roommate's personal privacy. "Cool."
So. Definitely a meta. Teleportation, maybe? Or superspeed or flying, she supposed. Whatever it was, the kid was clearly only using it to get a good night's rest in a safe space, so it wasn't really Steph's business.
At least neither of them had noticed she was a vigilante. It was an impressive secret to keep in such close quarters, if Steph did say so herself.
~*~
Jazz had clocked that Stephanie was Spoiler in a week and a half. And it only took her that long because she was distracted by orientation. The girl wasn't exactly subtle. Especially not with her injuries. Jazz had three years of experience watching someone come home injured and try to hide it, and while she was better than Danny, it still wasn't good enough.
Still, Steph wasn't making a big deal of Danny portalling into their dorm half of every week. And, like she had with Danny, Jazz wanted Steph to trust her enough to tell her herself.
And if this meant that Jazz spent a good portion of her first semester figuring out the rest of the Bats' identities based on Steph's friends and acquaintances, well. That was between her and Steph's scary-but-sweet girlfriend who read her like a book as soon as their eyes met.
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dcxdpdabbles · 3 months
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What if Danny went to school with Damian? I’m just imagining them going feral together after a little while, because you know that Danny picks up on Damian’s liminal vibes.
I mostly just want Damien to bring Danny home, and for Bruce to do the headcount thing that Mr. Weasley needed to do in Harry Potter. Just like ‘I could’ve sworn I didn’t have this many this morning’
Damian made a friend.
It shouldn't be as big a deal as his brothers were making it out to be but even he knew that he didn't have the best track record on friendships. It was hard to get along great with the kids in his school.
A lot of them were too carefree, to be unburdened by the things he saw and did on a battlefield and he couldn't stand how loud and messy they all were.
Damian preferred to sit by himself with some headphones in and draw whenever he could get the chance. According to the other children that made him an "emo loser" and a lot of them took great joy in flinging insults and taunts at him.
He never even spoken to them but for some reason, the general populace of Gotham Acadamy deemed him a great target for their scorn. Sometimes Damian wondered if he deserved their taunts, flung paper and spitballs.
If his time in the Leauge of Shadows truly made him broken and wrong as his classmates claimed.
It wasn't like Damian couldn't defend himself. He could have all of them begging for mercy within a minute but to do so would put at risk his Robin identity.
Which then would put his family at risk. Damian would never allow those under his protection to be harmed. So even if it hurt his dignity he allowed some of the more physical bullies to get a few hits in and ducked his head when he walked through the hallways.
His other classmates saw, but no one chose to speak up for Damian Wayne otherwise known as Bruce Wayne's accident on travel and dirty secret. He was the freak. The weirdo. They knew that if they got involved, even if they didn't agree with it, then they would be targeted.
He never expected anyone to step in whenever his bullies found him.
But then again, he came to learn that Daniel Fenton wasn't just anyone. His friend had a heart of gold with a righteous rage that was hardly contained in his smaller body.
It had been three days since Daniel had been transferred to Gotham Acadamy, during their free period. The youngest Wayne had been minding his own business, eating the vegetarian meal prepared by Alfred and drawing a little in his sketchbook when he was surrounded.
Damian had been pushed up against a wall by the meaty hands of the snickering soccer team. They were gripping his shirt collar and Damian had been preparing for a punch in the face when Daniel had appeared out of nowhere.
"Hands!" Danny had shouted pointing at Derek, the captain of the team with a scowl. He was the one who was going to beat Damian up while his friends held Wayne in place. "That's a penalty kick buddy!"
And then Danny kicked Eric- a teenager who was at least a head taller than him- right between the legs. Danny threw his whole body weight into that kick and the captain proved it by choking out a wheeze and falling to the ground.
Before his friends could react, Danny was upon them swinging his lunch tray like a battering ram.
Needless to say, the rest of the soccer team was not impressed, especially the goalie. They abandoned Damian to fight against Danny, who well seemed like he knew his way in a fight, was nowhere near Damian's level of training.
Good instincts but he lacked a solid foundation.
Danny was able to fight off the seven members of the soccer team (the rest didn't really hang out with them during breaks) but he had a lot of wounds as a result.
"Run dude!" Danny had shouted at him, putting himself between the team and Damian. His lip had been busted, he had a black eye and a nosebleed but Danny didn't seem to care. "I'll hold them off!"
Damian was ashamed to admit that he just stood there in shock at the new transfer's behavior. Daniel....was attempting to rescue him. Why?
He hadn't even known Daniel at the time.
The teachers arrived then, dragging everyone to the principal office where Damian was accused of starting the fight and Danny was threatened with being expelled only three days into his move. The soccer team had been smug, while the principal who Damian believed disliked him for his Middle Eastern Blood, seemed to jump at the fact he could smear Damian's name.
Daniel was on scholarship which did not help his chances at all in a school that had legacies.
His father had been away on a mission, so the school had been forced to phone Richard instead. When his brother arrived the soccer team's parents had been throwing a fit about all the hits Daniel had gotten in.
"Mr. Wayne shouldn't have agitated them and Mr. Fenton jumped in unprovoked. ," The Principal said staring Richard down when his brother had loudly demanded to know what happened.
"But he didn't" Daniel cut in. His guardians hadn't arrived yet and had remained mostly silent by the way. The group of parents and teenagers turn to him. "They were the ones to attack Wayne. I hit them unprovoked though. That part is true. They didn't do anything to me, but I can't stand cowards that attack in groups."
"I guess you have proof of this?" Mrs. Skeel sneered. She was Eric's mother and often brides her son out of problems.
"I have a body cam," Daniel reveals pulling out a miniature camera from his tie. He smiles at the dumbfounded stares his actions cause."Recorded the whole thing."
"Can I see the footage?" Richard requested, which Daniel easily handed over. They played it on the Principal's computer and there the camera shows Daniel sitting in the tree that Damian had chosen to sit under. The video captures Daniel watching him up until the soccer team arrives, and their innocence is proven.
Daniel didn't seem to care that he made enemies with almost everyone in that room as Richard quickly took control of the meeting with the evidence. Damian thinks he may not have to worry too much now that the staff were aware that Waynes would and could cut their funding.
Not only that, but the parents were also weary of angering Father. None of this meant that Daniel was safe so Damian took it upon himself to never let the new student be alone for too long.
As a means to protect him.
It wasn't until he realized two months later that school had gone for a dull meaningless pass time to laughter and enjoyment because of Daniel. They walked to class, they shared notes, they passed notes, they watched videos, Daniel chattered about everything and anything and they sent each other funny memes.
Daniel was vastly different from Damian but it didn't seem to bother him. If anything their differences were what made them so close. Daniel claimed that his two best friends back in his old school were vastly different in interest and personalities too.
He had made a friend.
Daniel was his friend.
A friend who didn't seem to mind when he would go quiet to draw or medicate. A friend who didn't need an explanation or justification for his eating habits. A friend he was able to vent about his troubles to and lend an ear to when Daniel faced his own woes.
A person who laughed at all his dark jokes, regardless of how much death was in them. Someone who seemed almost as... what did Todd call him? Feral? as Damian was.
Damian had chosen to invite Daniel to a sleepover. His very first ever sleepover with people from school- Jon held the crown for being the first friend to have a sleepover with him- and he has been ever so excited.
It's childish for someone of his age to show such anticipation for something so small but he couldn't help himself. Something about Daniel was captivating. Almost otherworldly so.
There was something about him that made all of Damian sense buzz but not in a bad way. He isn't sure what it is, but he is getting tired of Drake's and Richard's knowing smirks.
He detested being left out of the loop.
The doorbell rings. Todd makes the motion to stand up, which would be a disaster. He does not want Daniel- a person who swears in old classic book titles to meet his one brother who adores said books and reads them for fun.
Damian flings himself over the couch, using Todd as board. He ignores the shout of rage that his action causes and the hollaring laughter of the rest of Father's brood.
He clears the door before any of the other Wayne members and breaks out into a run. Just in case any of them got the idea of trying to meet Daniel before Damian can control the situation in which it happenes.
Also, he wanted to see Daniel. Spring break felt like an eternity now that he couldn't see his friend every day. He would like to have met up with him since the break started but Daniel's guardian had planned a trip and they only just returned.
He had yet to meet Daniel's uncle but heard a lot of Mr.Clockwork from the teenager. Damian was still unsure if he liked the man. He seemed far too aloof when it came to Daniel.
"Geez Dami, relax! Your boy toy isn't going anywhere!" Brown cackles
"Give him a big smooch!" Drake adds, his laughter echoing Brown's
I will deal with them later. Damian swears, fixing his hair from where it had fallen out during his run. He checks his reflection in the mirror by the doorway. He wants to look good for his first ever school friend's sleepover.
Damian had picked his best outfit, wearing his favorite jeans and black button-down. He accessorized with silver rings and chains, grateful Jon had been willing to facetime to give him the modern teenager stamp approval.
Once he is satisfied that his appearance is at its utmost best, he opens the door.
"Hi, Dami!" Daniel chirps. He is wearing a faded pair of jeans and a white shirt with a red dot in the middle. It's nowhere near Damian's stylish and well-put-together often, and yet he looks as beautiful as a grace nymph outside the school uniform.
Damian mind goes blank for only a second before he nods. "Daniel.Welcome. This is Wayne Manor. I live here for I am a Wayne."
For I am a Wayne!? Damian thinks to himself in horror unsure why those words hand tumbled out of his mouth. A wave of shame washes over him as Daniel curiously looks around with that pleased little half smile on his lips.
Daniel is always half smiling as if he heard a joke only he was privy to.
"This place is cool!" Daniels says spinning around to face him and missing Father stumbling out of the living room. Damian is unsure why the man had return so soon, as he thought Batman would be off-world for another week at the least with Flash.
His father looked dead on his feet, eyes half open as he walked up to Daniel and yanked him into a hug!?
"Oh," Daniel says pressed up to Father's chest. "Hello?"
"Hi, son." Father mutters. He squints down at his friend with bloodshot eyes. " Did you get smaller Timmy?"
"Father!" Damian shouts outraged while the rest of his so-called siblings come spilling out of the other sitting room.
"Bruce!" Drake shouts a wide grin on his face. "I'm over here."
"Wha-? Then who is this?" Father blinks slowly, one eye closing before the other, as he tilts his head. He has yet to realese Daniel, though his part his friend seems content with the embrace seeing as he had returned the gesture. "One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine.....ten? Do I have ten children?"
"You only have nine" Thomas calls out helpfully. Father nods, then counts again, pointing one finger at the people in the room
"One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine" He looks down pointing at Daniel. "Ten. Why are there ten of you?"
"That's a son-in-law, old man"
"No. I could have sworn none of my children are married......Dick you're not married are you?"
"Not yet B."
"Jason?"
"Trying to find a finger to put a ring on it Old man."
"Cassandra?"
"No thank you."
"Tim?"
"Ew."
Daniel giggled at Drake's response and Damian felt the sudden urge to bury a knife in Drake's side.
"Steph?"
"Nah."
"Duke?"
"I'm too young B."
"Cullen?"
"I can't even get a date, Bruce"
"Harper?"
"Inability to get dates run in the Row family tree."
Father nodded then. "Good none of my children-"
"What about Dami?" Daniel asks with a wide grin. Both his friend and Father turn to stare at him. Damian suddenly feels himself sweating through his shirt.
"Damian? You aren't married?
"Of course not!" He denies it loudly and faces an unconformable red. Daniel cackles like the devil he is.
Father meanwhile continues to hug Daniel while muttering. "Then where did ten come from? Alfred? Why are there ten children in my house?"
"Master Bruce if you do not let that young man go and go see Dr.Thompkins for that concussion I swear, heads will roll!"
Damian is grateful that once again Alfred seems to be the only one with a brain in this manner.
"I like it here," Daniel proclaims watching the butler drag away his confused father. Damian is utterly unprepared for the look that his friend shoots him from under his eyelashes, and he almost trips over his own two feet as he says. "Show me to your room?"
"I...of course! This way! I live here!" Curses his voice cracked. It ended in a squeak! He, Damian Wayne son of the Bat and Demon, made a fool of himself by squeaking!
"This is better than a daytime tv sitcom." Row- the male one- snickers from the stairway and Damian flips him off as he passes by with Daniel.
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stick2sherlock · 2 months
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Listen - a whodunnit on a yacht with batfam... as the Waynes, esteemed, normal, absolutely not known for any detective work guests at the party, and famous private detective Percules Hoirot (or whatever) on the case.
Bruce, losing his mind by knowing EXACTLY who did it but being unable to SAY anything because this would bust his secret identity, and running interference so that his kids won't bust THEIRS, because what the hell are they doing, kids, just stop.
Tim being impatient (having a date with Bernard later?), and trying to lead Hoirot to the realt culprit by giving some velied tips and leads, and thus landing himself in a position of a main suspect in Hoirot's eyes (who is not as much of an idiot as batfam thinks), as Tim a) seems to know too much, and b) behaves very wierdly
Damian making it a game to see how far he can strech the truth, without outright lying or making stuff up, to implicate Tim further as a main suspect. He's doing great, Horiot eats it up, and if Damian keeps it up Tim WILL throw him off the boat, thus cementing his prime suspect status. Damian is having a time of his life.
Dick and Jason 'befriending' the real killer and toying with him by one just throwing an offhand comments about how the crime was done, and dismissing them. "Oh maybe YOU are the killer, Mr Novak?! Hahaha" "Don't even joke about it Dickie, this guy wouldn't hurt a fly, not to mention kill anyone, even if it was, for, i don't know, inheretance" "you're right, besides it's not like he COULD do it with his AIRTIGHT alibi." "must have been the aliens" "mush have been, Jace".
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