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fishnets-fingers · 2 years

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Harry’s House - Album Review

A review from two tumblr moots - Maya [ @fishnets-fingers ] and Aprajita [ @0oolookitsme ]. While Aprajita listened to the album when it came out, Maya bit the bullet and listened to the leaks a week before the release. We’ve put down our thoughts for each track, we wrote an album review with a rating, and ranked it with the older albums in Harry’s discography.

1. Music For a Sushi Restaurant

M- Weird. But I love the way it sounds. Definitely the right opening track. The horns - I LOVE. It really threw me off because this is not the type of music I was expecting from him but I’m not complaining if the whole album is gonna be like this. It’s cause I love you babe. Every kind of way. Just a little taste. You know I love you babe. These lyrics are my favourite.

A- I literally laughed when I focused on the lyrics. Like, this song is so goddamn fun, could be played in a club too maybe, or just depressed and tipsy students could dance to this during parties. And when the ‘aah’ goes from low to high, just makes me clench my eyes cause it just feels so good! + The moment I heard: scooby do bo, I was like yas king! (literally obsessed with this song these past two days)

2. Late Night Talking

M- The Coachella song. Didn’t like it when it was performed but it definitely grew on me. I LOVE the chorus. Very cute premise of staying up and talking with the one you are currently infatuated with. Nothing very remarkable about it for me.

A- There would be rare moments in my life when I’d want to play this song, but those moments will be just perfect. Defo the one I’ll skip sometimes. But when he tunes the words before the “If you feeling dow…”, is the reason this song is playing continuously in my head, and not to forget the 12..34..56 kinda chorus. This one kinda gives me the vibes of when the whites are on a car ride during summers, yanno?

3. Grapejuice

M- The whispered one two three from Harry in my ears really invaded my personal bubble. HELLO ASMR KING LMAO. Very eh for me… I’m very curious to see how he’d perform this live (I’m picturing he sits down on stage). The crooning chorus was divine. I feel like the only way I’d appreciate this song to its fullest when it’s being played is on a long road trip and it’s super dark outside - with patches of light pouring in through the streetlight - and everyone in the car is asleep and it’s eerily quiet, except for the whir of the car.

A- The 123 really did catch me off-guard cause you know, I didn’t expect his voice to be so low and raspy. I’m not THAT infatuated with this song but I just know I’ll probably grow on this song when I’ll start going on walks during the afternoon or late mornings, cause I’d defo play it at that moment.

4. As It Was

M- Sweet sweet as it was. Harry’s pumped up kicks era. It’s a nice reminder to know that he’s just as messed up as the rest of us. I loved it when it came out but I’m tired of this song, to be honest. It’s overplayed - it’s on every other story/ reel/ post/ video on instagram - and I’m ready to move on.

A- This song is chef's kiss and because I don’t see this song on Insta that much, I don’t think I’ll ever skip this song. Like.. I could hear this song in whatever mood I’m in, literally.

5. Daylight

M- My little gem. I absolutely love this. It’s this album’s Golden. I have a feeling that this was written super late at night. Or at least that’s the vibe I’m getting. The ooh in the chorus is the best part. Wished this would go on for a whole ten minutes… sigh.

A- I’ve been listening to this one a lot lately. Like, 's the best song so far. I love the poetry kinda vibes from the lyrics and the music is>> Like this instantly made it to my faves. I can’t -and won’t- stop listening to this literal gem.

6. Little Freak

M- Mayhaps we’ve got ourselves another Complicated Freak on our hands? Oh how wrong I was, expecting it to go a very different route. Still don’t know how to feel about this… I feel like this is

the song in the album that I’d skip and suddenly listen to it in a few months and mentally curse myself for not appreciating it a bit sooner and have it on repeat.

A- His voice… omg. This song is the ‘Cherry’ of this album. He sounds so vulnerable! Like I can imagine his nose getting slightly pink because of the chilly atmosphere while listening to this one. I expected this one to be a sex song so I wasn’t ready. All I know is that I’m ready to see this on my ‘on repeat’ playlist on Spotify. “You never saw my birthmark..” …and I LOST it.

7. Matilda

M- It’s very sweet. I got very emotional listening to it. I love the perspective he took while writing it. Not a skip. It has a place in my heart.

A- I love the tears I had in my eyes while listening to this song as I was alone in the kitchen, sitting on the slab and preparing myself tea. The fact that I read the novel this song has been inherited from just makes it so much more meaningful to me cause you see, I read that story when I was 11 or 12. Don’t even be surprised if you see me listening to this one while having a breakdown in the bathroom.

8. Cinema

M- I think this is the most different out of all the songs in the album. Love the way he says cool. Definitely going into my horny playlist. Don’t like the bridge that much though. Bit too long in my opinion.

A- After 2 emotional songs, this changed my mood in a snap of fingers. Like my mood doesn’t change this quickly when I’m on my periods mate. I might skip this one sometimes, though.

9. Daydreaming

M- Absolutely loved all three minutes and seven seconds of this. Very dancey. I could totally see myself convincing people to start a conga line when this song starts at parties. I saw a post that said Taylor Swift’s exes are making music together and sign me up if it’s gonna give us more bops like this.

A- Literally can see myself dance-walking to this song. Like, I’ll be dancing like some old but active and fit old man to this song lmao.

10. Keep Driving

M- This is hands down my favourite song on the album. It’s super airy and his voice sounds beautiful. Had this on repeat for days now. Side boob, cocaine, choke her with a sea view, edibles, puff pass - Harry what in the name of debauchery. It’s my favourite of all the bridges. Only can pepper in shit like in a sweet sounding sound.

A- I agree so much with your review. I can see myself humming this song out of the blue. That’s literally what I’ve been doing since today morning so-. Love this song. Can listen to this song on any type of car drive. But this song is either made to be heard super early in the morning, or on a chilly evening. But there's hustle-bustle around during both the times.

11. Satellite

M- I expected this to sound similar to cinema but it’s not. It’s giving me a very Jonas Brothers vibe. Very forgetful for me. Don’t particularly like it.

A- I kinda like this song. Like, really like this song hahah. He did a few innovations with this one but honestly, I love ‘em.

12. Boyfriends

M- Boring. It’s a sweet song but it’s the one song I dislike on the album. Hate me all you want but it’s a guaranteed skip from me.

A- This song- hmm, I think I’ll only listen to this when I’m feeling the loneliest. Like this song digs a pit in my chest, at least it feels so. I’ll be scared to listen to this song most of the time so I don't know how often will I let it play.

13. Love Of My Life

M- Shoot me in the face, this was so beautiful and vulnerable. The synth was just chef’s kiss. It’s unfortunate, just coordinates, keep echoing in my head for some reason. All in all, such a lovely way to sign off.

A- The piano in the end is what broke the dam.

Final Review & Rating:

M- Lyrically not his best. I think Fine Line was the best lyrically. It’s much more ambiguous than what he used to write - much more ambiguous than what it used to be. It’s giving me a lot of similarities to Bon Iver but he’s just not on par yet (sorry Harry and the writing team). Sonically, I absolutely love it. Super different and playful. Groovy. Jazzy. Disco. It’s the best sound he’s ever put out. It’s still at the bottom and this is just my first impression but albums usually take time to grow on me and who knows maybe in three months, I have a feeling it will knock his first album to the bottom of my list. 7/10.

A- I’m really starting to grow on this album now, but it still sits at the bottom for me. The more I play, the deeper I find it so I have a feeling that this might take the position of his self-titled album by the end of this year… I’ll give this album an 8.5/10 :)

Ranking:

M- Fine Line for me still is on the throne. Followed by his first album and then very closely, followed by Harry’s House.

A- Fine Line > Harry Styles > Harry’s House.

#harrystyles #harry styles #harry's house #hs3 #hs3 era #album review #thank you for joining in on me with this my sweet sweet aprajita

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prettyinaccurate · 3 years

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more death note bc living in the past is so much more fun 😩

#i know light defo COULD sit like l #but should he...#anyways so i took a chip and ate it #death note #light yagami #l lawilet

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shrimpfurai · 4 years

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Ghost/Roach for the ship headcanon meme 👉👈😳

Holy shit- I didn't think someone would really ask me this 😂😂 But here we go, I guess:

Ship headcanon meme: Simon "Ghost" Riley/Gary "Roach" Sanderson Edition

1. Who makes the first move and how?

Tbh I think Roach would make the first move...but subtly. Like, he knows that Ghost is a bit detached from everyone else and only gives concise response when he's being asked about something. So Roach kinda tried to get to know Ghost first (his feelings are genuine, I swear, he really admires Ghost; kinda why he wants to know about the lieutenant more and apparently it grows into something completely different). Roach would occasionally greet Ghost when they cross each other's path, sometimes he'd sit with Ghost on the mess hall during lunch or dinner (with Ghost's permission ofc).

2. Who is the most insecure and what makes them feel better?

I'd say Ghost is the most insecure? He's not sure whether he's the right someone for Roach because he's afraid he'd be like his damned father–afraid that he'd do nasty things to Roach and all. All he needs is for Roach to be there, either holding his hand or embracing him as Roach tells him that Ghost is not like his father (which is wbk it's true btw). We know Ghost wouldn't talk about his feelings much so Roach would have to kinda pry on it a little. No force though.

3. Who is the most romantic?

Ghost ftw!!! I mean, look!!!! He's super compassionate when it comes to the people he loves! I'm sure as heck he'd try his best to spoil Roach on special occasion, or just giving small gestures like rubbing Roach's arm when the younger's anxious before an op, etc etc. There's too many in my head and I can't write it all here so just come to my DM if you'd like to discuss about this, Anon-san ❤️

4. Who can’t keep their hands to themselves?

I'D SAY BOTH, AHAHA. I MEAN, Ghost likes the feel of Roach's presence and when they're standing or sitting side by side, Ghost would probably give small touches to Roach like gently patting his thigh (no intended meaning, I swear 😂), patting his head, patting his back, and so on–just gentle innocent touch like that when on public; Roach would kinda do same thing dgshhdj bet he'd deliberately brush their fingers or smth and then giggles out of it–he'd also give light pat on Ghost's back as a gesture of "good luck today" every single morning just before they start the PT.

When in private 🌚, wbk their hands would freely roam each other's body. Ghost likes to learn about his partner more, and Roach really admire how Ghost's body is defined (in conclusion: muscles 👀 /SLAPPED).

5. Who says ‘I love you’ first?

Would be Roach, honestly. He's the one who's able to identify what he feels. Ghost is rather uncertain of what he was feeling until Roach say the L word first 😳.

6. Who would they ask if they ever had a threesome?

Ghost and Roach: Threesome? Never heard of that.

(Ofc they know, they just don't like to share 🌚).

7. What do they get up to on a night out?

Either they visit a cafe and talk all night long there until the cafe is about to close, or they visit a local park and just sit there, enjoying the breeze while catching up on things 😳

8. What do they like in bed?

Both like spooning tbh, with our Ghost here as the big spoon. Sometimes, they'd just lie on bed facing each other, staring at each other's face and tell themselves that this is real, that they're here together, that they're alive and loved, and that this is more than enough.

Also, hot make out session 🌚

9. What is the most embarrassing thing they have done in front of each other?

For Roach it would be him slipping on his feet when he's on his way to Ghost and fall face first on the mud after PT just outside the base 😂

For Ghost, it would be him having a slip of tongue when he talks with Roach because his mind is elsewhere. Like when they're in the middle of discussing their next mission in the rec room when Ghost was exhausted and Roach said "don't forget to bring the additional ammo/equipment", Ghost would accidentally say "yeah, I'll bring the pillow" , then fell silent, before the silence was broken by Roach's laughter 😂

10. What two songs, two books and two luxury items do they take to a desert island?

Roach:

Songs: Not Ready to Die - Avenged Sevenfold; M.I.A. - Avenged Sevenfold. These are pretty much his jam.

Books: Would be a book about survival and a book about plants/animal that can be eaten.

Luxury items: his cot and a pair of fresh clothes.

Ghost:

Songs: No Destination - Hoobastank; War - Poets of the Fall. Kinda represents himself and is his comfort songs (probably).

Books: The Life and Adventure of Robinson Crusoe by Daniel Defoe, and a book about survival.

Luxury items: his cot and a compass

As long as it's useful for them, those items are luxurious 👌🏻

11. What do they hide from one another?

I don't think Roach would hide anything; he's pretty much an open book, wouldn't be able to hide something from Ghost anyway. As for Ghost, maybe he'd hide his feelings when he's uncertain about what he feels (if this counted). Other than that, Ghost doesn't have anything to hide from Roach; he doesn't really like to lie to his s/o unless he really has to (for urgent matters).

12. What first changes when it starts getting serious?

It's about the relationship right? I think what changes first would be how both Ghost and Roach even more aware of their fear of losing each other. Military life is full of unexpected deaths, so...that's pretty much it.

13. When do they realise they should get together?

I think it's some time after Loose End event, during their recovery times. And yes, they're alive. No one can tell me otherwise.

14. When one has a cold, what does the other do?

Ghost would tell Roach to just rest on bed, preparing the meds and food, then left him to finish things at the house. If they're on base, Ghost would visit Roach's room to tale him to the med bay before escorting Roach back to his room, then he'd bring his meds and meals.

Roach would pretty much do the same as Ghost. He'd bring Ghost his meals and meds, and leave to finish things around the house before getting back to accompany him.

15. When they watch a film what do they choose and why? Who gets the final vote?

Ghost would choose zombie apocalypse kind of movie (like World War Z) and Roach would choose military action (like Black Hawk Down, etc). They don't really watch romantic/drama/romcom movies unless it really catch their interests. Roach would get the final vote because he's surprisingly good at rock-scissors-paper HAHA

16. When the zombie apocalypse comes, how do they cope together?

Just like how they always do during mission, I guess? They'd professionally cope to find a settlement first, watching each other's back, remain alert and all. Once they find a good settlement for the night, they'd take turn on an overwatch.

17. When they find a time machine, where do they go?

Honestly? They'd go back just before the Loose End mission starts to tell the Ghost and Roach from past to set up a secret plan B and to tell them not to go to the General's chopper.

18. When they fight, how do they make up?

By apologizing tbh. They're not children and mature enough to know where they did wrong and they'd have a talk about that matter like just like how adult supposed to do before apologizing to each other.

19. Where do they go on their first date?

Roach's favorite cake shop 😳😳 Ghost wants to witness how his bug eats his favorite cake...and he'd take picture of it and keep it on his phone dhsjsjdk.

20. Where do they go on holiday?

They'd go and hike a mountain and have a camp night out there, or to a unvisited lake/forest. They like to spend time in nature.

21. Where do they get nervous about going with one another?

This question is really confusing tbh 😭😂 But hopefully I don't answer it wrong:

Roach is quite nervous when he's engrossed in something he found interesting in front of Ghost since he'd go "Ohh!! That's cool!! How could that happen??"–it's like he behaves like a curious child and he's just afraid that Ghost would find that annoying (hint: Roach is just easy to amuse :9).

As for Ghost... I don't think he'd be nervous about himself in front of Roach. He's a confident bastard lmao. If being nervous about how he'd look vulnerable in front of Roach counts, then that's probably it.

22. Where does their first kiss happen?

In the armory, just after they finished cleaning their weapons on a nice evening. This takes time probably a few days after Roach confessed to Ghost and vice versa 😳

23. Where is their favourite place to be together?

Back on the base, their favorite time to be together would be just outside the barracks; it's quiet out there especially on the evening. They like to just be there, standing or sitting next to each other while talking about things.

Outside the base, it would be the local park. At house, their bedroom is just the ultimate favorite place for them to be together 😳

24. Where do they first have sex?

At the base's shower room honestly. Takes a few days after their first kiss, it was after training and they both just happened to be the only ones in the shower room since the others scrambled to their rooms right away aha-

25. Why do they fight?

Usually it's because out of concerns towards each other's safety and well-being, like when Roach did something risky during a mission and vice versa. They don't fight much, but then they do it's because of this kind of thing.

26. Why do they need to have a serious chat?

Because they need to get things straight such as after they're fighting, or to discuss something that would lead their life to a completely different level or to discuss matters regarding their relationship.

27. Why do their friends get annoyed with them?

Because they're such an ass when it comes to PDA AHAHA; sometimes they're purposely being all lovey dovey in front of their teammates just to see their reactions shsjskjd. Another thing that'd make their teammates annoyed is how oblivious they are towards each others' feelings, I think. 141 boys are so supportive towards each other ok.

28. Why do they get jealous?

They don't usually get jealous, but when they do, it's probably because there's this someone that flirts with their either Ghost or Roach and this someone has crossed the line by either touching their s/o or whatnot,,,, That's when they'd step in.

29. Why do they fall a little bit more in love?

Honesty it's because how attentive and caring they are towards each other...like they just love the fact that their s/o really does care about them. Kinda "action speaks louder than words" thing here. Also, how could they not fall a little bit more in love when every little thing always remind them of their partners 😳

30. Why does it work (or not work) between them?

I believe it works between them because of how they are truly understanding towards each other....and because of how patience Roach is when he has to deal with Ghost's fears and insecurities. They both take it slow, enjoying the ride, not rushing things out. Believe it or not they're that kind of couple who have quite a good communication between them despite how bumpy their road is. (aight what am i talking abt???) They always manage to talk things out and sort things straight (gay) between them.

OK Y'ALL IM DONE. Hopefully this doesn't seem OOC :( Sorry if this turns out super long 😂 Thanks for the ask, dear Anon!

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positiveparker · 6 years

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I miss you (part 1) | h.o

hey everyone! tell me if you want a part 2? sorry that most of it is typed in lower caps, i typed it on my phone instead of my computer. anyways lots of love and luck - L

- warnings ; fluff! kinda angst!

- pairing ; harrison osterfield x reader

- masterlist

- prompt list

- song ; i miss you by adele (listen here)

not my gif

*vvvvvv* *vvvvvvvv* *vvvvvvvvvvvv*

my phone buzzed frantically next to me. i slowly peeked through my eyelids. my screen was lit up and was creating a shadow of light on my bedroom ceiling. i reached my arm from under the covers and picked up my phone. it was a text from Tom.

hey darling. i’m sorry but shooting has taken longer than expected. i’m going to be staying in the hotel a couple more days. i’m so sorry i’m missing you birthday. i’ll make it up to you. can you drop the clothes off a harrison’s house? love T xx

i grunted sleepily and threw my phone back onto my beside table. Tom being away created a void inside of me. i literally loved him so so much and when he was away i was so empty. though he was away a lot so i had become immune to the feeling.

I scrunched myself into a ball with my legs to my chest and my head curled onto knees. tears started streaming from my eyes and down onto my pyjama top. i was trying really hard not to be upset but the fact he was missing my birthday made it worse. i was meant to be turning (y/a) which was obviously important and i expected him to be back. i loved tom but things like this really made me question our relationship.

after a long sob i angrily threw my covers over me and snuggled down into the dark cotton abyss.

I woke up to my ringer going off. i peeked out of the sheets and looked at my phone. It was Tom. I sat up sharply and grabbed my phone quickly swiping to answer his call.

“hey darling” he said in his upbeat voice “happy birthday!”

“hey” i grunted back

“did i wake you?”

“no i’ve been up for hours” i lied

“i’m so sorry about your birthday”

“yeah no worries”

“are you gonna do anything today?” he wondered

“yeah i’ll go see Haz i guess” i replied unenthusiastically.

“oh babe i’ve got to go” Tom said quickly with stern voices in the background

“bye”

but before i said anything else he had ended the call. i threw my phone back on my table and stood up and stretched.

The London Flat was like a hotel suite. We had a master bedroom, two bathrooms, a guest bedroom and a kitchen living room. I ambled into the kitchen and put some waffles in the toaster. As they heated i went back to grab my phone. i switched on some music and tapped my fingers to the rhythm on the counter as i waited for my waffles. the waffles popped out of the toaster, i grabbed them and shovelled them into my mouth.

as i munched on my waffles i read through my birthday messages and replied to them. then suddenly my phone lit up with a phone call from Haz, i quickly answered it.

“hey” i said happily

“hey (y/n) HAPPY BIRTHDAY” he screamed down the phone

“thanks” i laughed. hearing the familiarity of his voice changed my mood.

“i heard about Tom” he said sulkily

“yeah well what can you do” i replied sarcastically

“well i was thinking i could come over instead of you coming here. save you trouble?”

“yeah definitely” i replied

“well i’ll see you in an hour?”

“yeah sure” i smiled

“bye”

then i ended the call. i mean it felt nice not to be hung up on like with Tom. our phone calls were always 5 mins long and then he would have to go. i didn’t go into our relationship feeling like this. our relationship started before all this spider-man and marvel filming, it was way back when he was at drama school. ugh i felt so naive.

i walked back to the master bedroom and flung open my wardrobe pulling out one of Toms black hoodies. i stared at it for a while then decided it would make me too upset to wear it so i chucked it back into the wardrobe and grabbed a different black hoodie. i tugged on some black jeans, a white top and put on the hoodie over it. i brushed my hair out and quickly swiped on some mascara. the doorbell went as i was looking in the mirror, i ran over to the door and flung it open to see Haz holding a pile of gifts and a pizza box.

“i know pizza isn’t the perfect healthy breakfast like Tom would get you but i thought it was your birthday so....” he presented me with the pizza box and smiled.

“no i love it!” i said pulling him into a hug. his hugs weren’t feeble like toms. he actually returned the strength and warmth of a hug, just how it should be.

i leant away and he handed me the presents. i set down the pizza box and presents on our coffee table. i hungrily opened the pizza box first and pulled out one of the slices and then handed one to Haz.

“i thought we could watch harry potter and the goblet of fire your favourite?” haz grinned walking inside the flat and propping himself on one of the sofas. he grabbed the pizza slice from my hand and started happily munching on it.

“yeah defo” i replied sitting next to him. Haz shoved the dvd in the huge flat screen we had and put his arm around me. i rested my head on his chest and started to become consumed in the movie.

“this harry kid has a really messed up life” haz joked

“yeah i guess”

“hey whats wrong” haz said rubbing my back

“just- ugh it’s fine” i replied

“no no tell me” he said jolting up and catching my gaze.

“well just i’m having problems with Tom being away” i confessed “obviously don’t tell him though”

“no no i won’t” he promised “come here” he said pulling me into a hug.

after a long hug i went back to resting on his chest. i focused on the rising and lowering of his body as he breathed in and out. his heart was beating right in my ears, it was comforting having another human there.

#tom holland #peter parker #tom holland as spiderman #happy birthday peter parker #marvel fan fiction #marvel imagine #peter parker fanfiction #peter parker imagine #peter parker x reader #marvel #my writing

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swipestream · 6 years

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SUPERVERSIVE Goes Warpig: Why the Netflix Death Note Movie SUCKED

Our good friend Daddy Warpig isn’t the only one who can be passionately but rationally and analytically disgusted by steaming piles of crap. We at the Superversive team are capable of the same thing, and on that note, I’d like to tell you why the Netflix American Death Note film is an insult to the franchise name, and a black mark on its legacy forever. It’s worse than bad. It’s insulting.

In the big picture, it’s sort of hard to see, or at least explain. But none of the small details add up. Everything felt wrong. It was kind of like somebody made Abrams-verse Death Note but not as mindlessly entertaining…since Death Note has no appeal as mindless entertainment. Star Trek is theoretically brainier entertainment but at least it has spaceships and phasers and cool stuff; the Abrams movies were solid popcorn filler and I enjoy watching the first one especially. It just wasn’t good at the cerebral half of Trek.

“Death Note” is entirely about the mind game. The notebooks and the death gods are the only supernatural elements in the story, and they’re a plot device. If you lose the mind game, there’s nothing worth watching – and the Netflix film lost the mind game.

The premise of the movie is the same as the premise of every other adaptation: A Death Note drops out of the sky and is picked up by Light, an exceptionally intelligent but otherwise average high school student. The Death Note gives the holder the power to kill anyone simply by writing their name down. They also get to be followed around by a death god (shinigami, for you purists), the original owner of the note. This one’s name is Ryuk, and he appears in every adaptation, ’cause he’s just that cool (William Defoe as Ryuk in the Netflix movie is one of the few bright spots).

The first place the movie goes wrong is with Light. In the original anime (this is going to be my shorthand for both the anime and manga, since the former is just a direct adaptation of the latter) Light isn’t just smart, he’s a super-genius, more brilliant than every other character in the story except, arguably, L. And this is a story with no dumb characters. His intelligence is god-like.

And Light is also an excellent athlete. And handsome. And great with the ladies. And charming. He’s the classic sociopath – perfect on the outside with the heart of a monster underneath.

In the Netflix movie, Light is smart…for a high school student. He does other people’s homework and has them pay him. That’s smart, I guess. He also stands up to a bully by prissily yelling about how it’s child abuse if he hits them. That’s…not smart. He ends up in detention. Not very Light-like. He has no friends and is a nerd. VERY not Light-like.

Ryuk’s character design is basically the same in every adaptation, because it is perfect and awesome

In the anime, when Light sees Ryuk for the first time, he’s cool as a cucumber. Oh, a death god? Well, I suppose I do have a notebook with the power to kill people by writing their name down. He doesn’t seem to bother me. Why should I care? Light is stone cold. He assesses threats with the cold-blooded rationality of a predator and reacts to them accordingly. Ryuk might have been scary looking, but when Light deduces he’s not a threat…why freak out over it, right?

This version of Light sees Ryuk for the first time and screams like a little girl crying for his mama. It’s ridiculous and pathetic and very much NOT Light.

Anime Light trusts nobody. Nobody is a “friend”…and nobody is off limits. Light may eventually decide to “trust” you in the sense that he uses you as a pawn because he is convinced you won’t betray him, but this only happens after long and careful planning and deliberation, in the absolute assurance that letting you in on privileged information will directly benefit him in some way.

Movie Light, after using the Death Note to settle a couple of personal vendettas, shows it to a girl (Mia) and tells her what it does.

Was he friends with this girl? Nope.

Does he have any reason to believe she’ll do anything but freak out, and possibly get the Death Note taken away? Nope.

Does he have any reason to believe she won’t try to steal it herself? Nope.

So why does he show it to her?

He has a crush on her. That’s it. That’s the reason. Light reveals that he stone cold murdered two people with an untraceable and unstoppable weapon, because he had a crush on a pretty girl. Movie Light SUCKS.

Where does Light keep the Death Note? Surely in some untraceable spot, somewhere nobody would ever think to look or could stumble onto accidentally?

Anime Light creates an elaborate death trap, ensuring that anybody who doesn’t do the exact set of steps required to retrieve the Death Note from its hiding spot will literally set the entire house on fire and burn everything to the ground. In public he is never stupid enough to carry the Death Note around with him, instead smuggling pieces of paper that he hides in places like secret compartments on his watch.

Movie Light brings it to gym class and reads it on the bleachers, and is promptly spotted. He also carries it around with him, stuffs it inside of a Calculus book (when he doesn’t take Calculus, making it an especially dumb hiding spot), and leaves it lying around. Later in the movie Mia is able to steal several pages of the Death Note. How? Because he left it sitting there. In the next scene a group of FBI agents investigating them commit suicide. Light is too dumb to realize that Mia stole the Death Note, and accuses Ryuk of acting on his own. Light is an idiot. The movie frames the revelation that Mia stole the Death Note as a “twist” instead of an absurdly obvious plot device.

Anime Light will kill anyone, do anything, to avoid being caught – and he will not lose a second of sleep at night over it. He openly talks of killing his own family several times, and while he never has to do so directly he is certainly very much open to the possibility.

Movie Light is essentially challenged on TV by his father: Kill me if you can. Light doesn’t do it, because this version of Light will kill hundreds of people in cold blood but is willing to get caught if it means not killing his father. Movie version of L (more on him soon) immediately and correctly figures out that Light must be Kira (the Death Note killer) for this reason.

Let’s talk about L. In both adaptations L is the detective in charge of the Kira investigation. I’m going to be fair here and say that Keith Stanfield did a very good job here and was easily the best part of the movie; it’s not his fault the writing betrayed him in the end.

The Lind L. Tailor scene is one of the most iconic moments in the Death Note franchise and the moment it became clear how brilliant the plotting really was. It was a ploy by L designed to pinpoint Kira’s powers and location by sacrificing a death row inmate and announcing on live TV that he was in charge of the Kira investigation. It established L’s brilliance, his ballsiness, and the stakes and rules of the game in one awesome game-changing moment.

More like LAME L. Tailor scene, amirite? Huh? Huh?

The Lind L. Tailor scene is not in the Netflix movie. Instead we get a pale imitation where L simply holds a press conference and asks Kira to kill him; when Kira doesn’t kill him, he deduces that this means Kira needs a name and face.

Here again the stupidity of the Netflix movie is contrasted sharply with the brilliance of the anime. In the anime the Lind L. Tailor scene works because L is repeating the broadcast over and over throughout the day – as he says, though apparently he gets lucky and Tailor is caught the first go around. The key here is that it’s not just that he’s looping it, it’s being repeated live, so he can show Kira that he knows exactly when he made the kill. He also DOES NOT USE HIMSELF – that’s the big twist in the scene, that he’s using a proxy.

In the Netflix movie, L goes up and invites Kira to kill him himself, and at a live press conference. When it’s over, he leaves. This defeats the whole point of the scene – he proved nothing! All he knows is that for some reason, Kira did not kill him – he does not have any proof that Kira CAN kill someone with just a name and face. And he risks his own very much NOT expendable life on a hunch with no proof. And doing this would prove nothing about Kira’s location, since he’s already pinpointed him to Seattle. Non-action is not evidence. It’s just not proof against his theory – a very different thing.

Later Netflix L deduces that Light is Kira by having Light’s father – the police chief – give a press conference, live. When he does not immediately die afterwards – as of course he would if Kira had no relation and thus no reason to keep him alive – he uses this as his evidence that Light is L.

…Except L would never be this sloppy. Anime L would NEVER use this scenario to come to a conclusion like that. He would do something rather like he actually did – suspect Light, hide cameras in his house, set a tail on him, and track his movements. What he would NOT do is decide that his investigation is over based on such a flimy deduction. Again – one of the best parts of the anime is that it doesn’t contain moments like that. If Anime L doesn’t have proof Light is Kira, he doesn’t go gunning half-cocked on hunches, which is exactly what Netflix L is doing. And the thing is, if Netflix L HAD set up Light’s room with cameras, Light would almost certainly have been caught, considering how much stupider he is than anime Light.

Later in the movie, L introduces himself to Light and tells him he knows he’s Kira but has no evidence yet. He even takes off his half-mask thing and shows him his face.

Why would L risk his life like this? It’s not explained. There is no reason. L gains nothing from this. When Anime L reveals himself to Light the scene is shocking and dramatic, because up to that point it was understood that L’s big advantage is that Light had no idea what he looked like or what his name was. As the episode goes on it becomes increasingly clear that not only has L not made a mistake or gone off the rails, he has executed a masterstroke, one of the most brilliant moves of the game to that point, effectively evening the playing field against a seemingly unstoppable enemy. Anime L NEVER took unnecessary risks unless he knew the potential gains were massive. Netflix L is careless in comparison.

This, by the way, is the only face to face interaction between L and Light in the whole film. The back and forth battle of wits underpinned with Machiavellian maneuvering that characterized their relationship in the anime? Completely gone.

Later, after Netflix L’s assistant, Watari, is killed, he loses it, grabs a gun, and goes after Light vigilante style…with no evidence, when earlier in the movie he makes a point of saying he doesn’t use a gun to kill people.

Anime L would never do this. First off, L HATES to lose. If Kira somehow managed to get to somebody close enough to L to affect him, it wouldn’t prompt L to give up his values and go running off half-cocked against a suspect. It would be another reason for L to up his game, to further solidify his dedication to the cause and willingness to take even more dangerous risks. But stop trying for answers and instead steal a car and start gunning for somebody? Unthinkable.

And second off…what, exactly, is L hoping to accomplish? I mean revenge, I guess, but then when he first sees Light he tells him to freeze and puts him under arrest…why? With what evidence? He had nothing. No matter how upset L was he’d never do something that rash – in fact, if L was upset he would ESPECIALLY not do something that rash. He would simply double down on his efforts, work twice as hard. Like Netflix Light, if less dramatically, Netflix L is just a lamer version of the anime L. He’s not a “different” interpretation, he’s a worse one.

Light, by the way, is willing to leave Watari alive. When his girlfriend yells something to the effect of “Stop acting all high and mighty because you don’t have the balls to do what’s necessary”, she is absolutely right, and it’s hard not to be on her side. Come on, Light, you’re a predator. You’ve killed over 400 people! Embrace it!

This is accurate.

The ending is just a mess. So the Death Note doesn’t just allow you to control people’s actions before their death, it allows you to place yourself into a medically induced coma and fall in specific spots at specific times. Apparently the Death Note can do anything so long as you write “And also, this person dies” at the end of the sentence. L, by the way, finds a page from the Death Note stuffed inside Light’s calculus book. You might recall that Light doesn’t take Calculus. This is how obvious his hiding place is.

The Netflix Death Note is like a Russian doll of bad decisions. It’s just mistake after mistake, one on top of the other, and beneath all of that is the biggest mistake of all: Focusing on the edgy themes and black comedy in lieu of the incredibly deliberate and careful plotting and mental machinations that make up the heart of the original story.

Because beneath all of its death gods and magical notebooks, “Death Note” is a thriller. And when you take that aspect away, as the Netflix movie did, you’re doing more than making a bad Death Note movie. You’re not making a Death Note movie at all. You’re just adding another chapter into the book of generic grimdark fantasies so beloved in this, the dung age.

And you should be ashamed.

SUPERVERSIVE Goes Warpig: Why the Netflix Death Note Movie SUCKED published first on http://ift.tt/2zdiasi

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