#i know many do a different interpretation of that line but the anger and pain and resentment is just perfect to me

[hatredmadeofgold]

Revenge with a vengeance — The tragedy of Sam and Raiden’s canon relationship dynamic

Alternate title: SamuRaiden is THAT deep, actually.

Although MGR does not have as complex or well researched character lore as the main series, Samuraiden as a relationship is a lot more complex than common fandom tropes and interpretations of their relationship suggest. I don’t mind it when people make funny/meme content about these two, since MGS/R does come with its own flair of humour, it’s very exhausting for me as well as a few others I know who enjoy this ship for it to be reduced to just that — a joke. MGR being perceived as ‘goofy’ is mainly due to how poorly some of the character lines translate from Japanese to English, as well as it being more or less evident that either budget, time or both ran out over the course of development, hence the second half of the game feels rushed and underdeveloped. In fact, the great majority of MGR fans do not understand how serious, dark, hopeless and dystopian its message really is and that is saddening.

The world isn’t black and white, neither is it in MGS/R. Sam isn’t the just the villain (never has been, by the way), Raiden isn’t the just the hero (never has been either, by the way), I’d say it’s rather “depends on who you ask”. They are on opposite sides due to the circumstances of how they meet and not because they wouldn’t get along. Quite the opposite is true, in fact, if they would have met before 2016, they might have become friends based on the fact of how much they can actually relate to each other in many different aspects of their personalities, interests and experiences.

Before we get to fight Armstrong as well as during the Sam DLC (also through very subtle hints during their first fight on the train) we learn that Sam is just like Raiden and that Desperado forced him to become a shadow of who he once was, going against his own morals and values and only Raiden reminding him of who he truly was before Armstrong defeated him 2 years prior, ultimately crushing his spirit — he had no other choice, either die there as a failure or continue to live and become Desperado’s/Armstrong’s puppet [until someone would eventually defeat Armstrong and free Sam from his never ending nightmare — Did I already mention that Sam is a really fucking tragic character?]. Sam joining Armstrong’s laughter at the end of DLC is a reaction of fear, not agreement with him or enjoyment. And if there’s one thing that both MGS and MGR are really good at, it’s the accurate and very realistic portrayal of the human psyche under stressful and traumatic situations.

On the other side we can tell from Raiden’s reaction when holding Murasama after killing Sam that he, for once in the entire damn series, questions if that was the right choice he made. We know that Raiden enjoys inflicting pain and suffering onto others, he enjoys murder — but he did not feel that way when he killed Sam. It’s quite the opposite. It’s very subtle and if you’re not very observant like me, easy to miss. But the way his voice turns a bit softer, how his eyes look listless, almost sad; he regrets it. When Blade Wolf asks Raiden if that outcome was really necessary, he does not answer him, because he knows that Wolf is right, it wasn’t. And Raiden pretty much hates himself for it. To his team he confidently says that Sam isn’t a problem anymore since he killed him, but that’s not the same Raiden that he’s that moment in the badlands (which is another implication to me that Raiden doesn’t fully trust his teammates, although they are friends; he has major trust issues and the only emotions he shares with them is either anger or amusement but nothing outside of that). The way he sheathes Murasama is a way to honour him, and as far as I remember this is a ritual to honour a samurai’s defeat or death.

I believe that there has been a silent understanding between the two swordsmen that they respect each other from the very beginning, but they do not say it out loud. This is a case of “show, don’t tell” but also something I suspect has something to do with the game being written by Japanese authors, and Japanese is a high context language, meaning, very little words are needed to get the meaning across, and I think this may also translate into the words these two exchange with each other compared to how they truly feel about the other. Besides, they probably couldn’t truly speak honestly with each other in the first place because of the unfortunate conditions of how they met and were (more or less) forced to fight each other until one of them would eventually succumb to the other’s blade. Codecs and conversations were most likely recorded by their respective employers, and I highly suspect that in Sam’s case, he was even monitored 24/7 by Desperado since he never was an official member of the Winds of Destruction in the first place, and they didn’t fully trust him either.

At the very end of the game during the fight with Armstrong, Sam’s message plays, and we can hear how Sam also speaks with a different voice to Blade Wolf compared to everyone else (and technically, indirectly to Raiden but I cannot confirm or deny that Sam was aware that Raiden would ever hear this playback), it’s a note softer; Raiden learns the truth, which confirms to him that he was right about Sam after all, that they are alike, that they respect each other, and that there was more to Sam’s story than him being a part of Desperado, he doesn’t know what exactly, but he knows now for sure that Sam was not the person he originally believed he was (and lets his team still believe he thinks that way).

Would Raiden truly say Sam’s catchphrase “Let’s dance” before fighting and ultimately killing Armstrong, if he wouldn’t have been going through a gradual process between originally hating Sam to respecting and liking him but unable to ever express that to him or anyone else?

Would he ever admit to anyone what kind of emotional impact Sam had on him, besides the anger and hatred he openly expressed towards him?

Doubt so. Highly fucking doubt so.

Because sharing his true feelings is a liability to him, and Raiden learnt as a very young child that vulnerable feelings such as sadness or guilt would be used against him, so his psyche is conditioned to discard them immediately. But Sam made him feel those things in their full extent and Raiden is fully aware of that, but he would never share with anybody that he ever felt that way about Sam.

He may or may not take those feelings to his grave.

From Sam’s side, we can only guess how he truly felt about Raiden, but we can only guess by the way he hesitated to finish him off on the train during the prologue, the way he smiled at Blade Wolf before his death (which might be likely another case of a silent understanding between Sam and Wolf that the latter would share with Raiden what he knows about Sam or the playback of their conversation itself, if not both) as well as everything he says with giving Murasama to Raiden. Of course, Sam couldn’t even say out loud to Blade Wolf or Raiden that he planned to give Raiden his sword to take down Armstrong, and he had to be as vague as possible with the information that he shared with the robot dog. Not by choice, no. Most likely because he was being watched 24/7, he knew that Desperado nor Armstrong didn’t fully trust him and if they knew about his plans, they’d make sure to finish him off before Raiden had the chance to do so. Sam knew he would die, and that it would be the only way he would ever be free from Armstrong’s grasp. So he chose suicide through Raiden’s blade, and gave him his sword to finish what he could not back then.

The game’s title is REVENGEANCE — Revenge with a vengeance.

They both translate to the same thing in my native language German, but there’s a subtle yet important difference between these two nouns.

“Revenge means when you get back at your enemy who is responsible for hurting you and vengeance is the punishment inflicted or retribution exacted for an injury or wrong.”

But it was never Armstrong who hurt or wronged Raiden in the first place, and we know he’s an essentially selfish person who does not really care all that much about politics, religion or anything like that and he only fights for himself (I wrote in my essay about Raiden’s ASPD that his motivation to save these children from becoming cyborg child soldiers is a trauma response first and his rather lose and grey morality second) and the few people he cares about, so Armstrong being the one one who ordered to get N’mani killed is not the reason Raiden went after him or was that passionate about getting revenge or retribution on him either.

It was Sam who hurt him — wounded both his body and soul during the prologue — but when Raiden got his revenge, he realised that revenge is empty, that he didn’t feel better, and that he regrets killing him, then we get to the vengeance part. From the moment Raiden held Sam’s Murasama in the badlands, he felt no more hatred towards him and the emotional impact his death had on him made Sam transition from a person he hated to one of the few people Raiden truly cares about.

Armstrong may be the villain of the story, but the person who wanted revenge on him never had been Raiden. It was Sam. Always had been Sam, because it was Sam who got hurt by Armstrong, it was Sam who wanted to get revenge on Armstrong for defeating him and crushing his spirit, it was Sam who wanted to punish Armstrong for making him into a shadow of who he once was, making Sam speak about ideals he didn’t truly believe in (like, who the FUCK even thinks that Sam truly believed a single fucking word of that, because I for sure as hell can tell he never did, he either gaslit himself into believing that for 2 years until he met Raiden or only parroted whatever the fuck Armstrong wanted him to say so he would not get killed on the spot).

Revenge and vengeance are very deep feelings and actions of hatred, feelings that are too deep and complex to be associated with morality, hence why I highly doubt that the title of the game is directed at Armstrong from Raiden’s side at all. That between Raiden and Armstrong is not nearly as personal as it has been between Sam and Armstrong. Raiden eradicating Desperado and Armstrong had been about justice [for the kids being killed and their organs sold], not revenge.

"I said my sword was a tool of justice. Not used in anger. Not used for vengeance. But now… Now I'm not so sure. And besides, this isn't my sword."

But when he says this, followed by “Let’s dance”, it became deeply personal for Raiden as well. Because he could confirm that his feelings about Sam had been right, and that Sam wanted to get revenge on Armstrong.

Raiden decides to avenge him, because Sam couldn’t get revenge himself.

Although Sam never told him directly, Raiden understood him from his actions alone, those subtle hints, reading between the lines what the other truly felt and wanted the whole time, eventually passing the “torch” — his sword — to Raiden, to finish what he could not. So while Raiden’s own reasons to finish off Armstrong were (mostly) justice for the innocent lives he destroyed and planned to continue to destroy, they also became feelings of hatred and anger — Sam’s feelings towards Armstrong.

In the end — revenge with a vengeance — is what Sam could get on Armstrong only through Raiden, after Raiden enacted his onto Sam.

Now the question is — if Raiden would’ve never killed Sam, by the chance of him recognising earlier than in canon that revenge is empty and that he won’t feel better after killing him, would Sam go by his example and abandon his revenge plans on Armstrong as well? Or would they fight Armstrong together and get justice?

We unfortunately can only speculate (or write stories about it).

What we can tell from canon though, is that Raiden’s (= Sam’s) passionate feelings of hatred towards Armstrong quickly vanish the moment he finished him off, and he looks into the camera with an empty expression, covered in blood and a crushed cybernetic heart in his hand.

And I think that is exactly what he feels — empty.

Because again, he got revenge and avenged Sam, led by what Sam felt, Sam’s feelings became Raiden’s feelings during that fight with Armstrong. But once that was gone, there’s nothing left. In the case of killing Armstrong, he doesn’t feel remorse or guilt. There’s nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Because revenge is empty.

Raiden defeated his enemies — but at what cost?

By killing Sam, he realised what he had actually lost — a potential friend (or more), someone who understood him in a way that no one else did. Perhaps he thought or felt that, if he avenges Sam, making Sam’s feelings towards Armstrong into his own, he might be able to deal with that loss better, but to no avail.

Because, and I can speak from experience as a person with the same mental health issues as Raiden, that emptiness is worse than regret.

MGR’s ending also implies that Raiden abandons his family and friends to fight his own war; essentially taking the same path that Sam once took in his past, ending up in a personal war and revenge act that knows no end, making one bad choice after the next. If Raiden hasn’t already become the villain of his own story by the end of MGR, then it’s just a matter of time until he becomes that.

And the cycle of violence continues, until the story repeats itself, over and over and over and over and over.

Did I mention already that there is a myth around Murasama being a cursed sword, that will drive its user either slowly insane or make them commit suicide if it doesn’t get a regular ‘blood sacrifice’?

—

“I really enjoy murder, but that one, that I will regret for the rest of my life.”

#Samuraiden #samurai #samrai #mgr #raiden #jetstream sam #mgrr #Raiden mgr #Raiden mgs #Raiden mgrr #Samuel Rodrigues #metal gear rising #metal gear rising revengeance #metal gear solid #mgs #anyway I went a little bit INSANE last night and wrote this #basically Samuraiden is at least platonically canon #and MGR is really fucking dark and depressing #BUT THE MAJORITY OF MGR FANS DON’T FUCKING GET THAT #anyway #suffer with me #my writing #golden writing

[tired-reader-writer]

Finally, finally I am back on my ArSen bullshit. So starting from where I last left off (chapter 94):

Fr tho, Hilmes, where was this when I needed you to have the attitude? This just reads as copium ffs.

I normally don't give that much thought to Team Zahhak's philosophy, but this time I decided to sit down and mull on it a bit. Evil is the way of the world, the root and origin of all things, and humans have established “justice” to oppose it. The problem? Justice isn't One True Thing as many like to think— to borrow Narsus' metaphor it's actually like a thousand stars fighting to dominate the sky. And what this causes is conflict, everybody thinks they're right, and therefore the others must be wrong, and to prop up their own justice blood is shed.

One would normally associate bloodshed with, y'know, evil. Which makes me wonder if Team Zahhak thinks of justice as a hypocrisy— in fighting for their justice the pain and loss the fight inevitably causes is no different from that which evil would cause. In seeking to banish evil they just kept inventing evil itself over and over, with a prettier facade on top.

Maybe Team Zahhak sees it as a pointless, fruitless endeavor, and thus chases evil in its own right instead of dressing it up in pretty ideals that ultimately mean nothing.

That's my interpretation of these panels, I buy that line of philosophy obviously, but I think I can see where they're coming from, especially considering the origins of Zahhak himself (which, to make it as vague as possible, he was born from evil, so surely that must've shaped his worldview?).

I want to say, “what did you think was gonna happen when y'all went crazy like rabid dogs on the capital and let Bodin run free to do whatever he wanted???” because I am right— but my anger is tinged with dread/grief because the consequences. They're going to bite Hilmes in the ass.

Interesting. VERY INTERESTING. I'm spinning this in my head. What can I do with this, hmmmm~

They were conscripted, ey?

There's something about their faith taking the shape of brutality. That their “love” for their God wasn't characterized by, like, I dunno how to put it, a genuine connection with Yaldaboath nor spirituality nor anything like that if that makes sense, but rather in the form of... Gah, my brain isn't cooperating.

The way they were so proud of killing the defenseless and vulnerable (women and children) leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

“I think we've done our duty to God well enough to call it a day.” my god my fucking god, like, killing enough people means you did your job means you don't have to do anything more no meaningful deeds or introspection you don't need to do more you've murdered and that's apparently fucking enough shut uuuup.

I know they were manipulated by those above them, the clergy and the higher-ups who wanted this campaign but ugh. Ugh.

If one were to only look at the deeds of followers of Yaldaboath, I don't think it would be inaccurate to say that Yaldaboath is an ever-hungering bloodthirsty god who demands bloodshed and human sacrifice as worship.

Of course, it's not the case, I'm sure the faith means something else, something far less murderous, but there's a point where the original intent and purpose is lost and the twisted version takes over. It is the real, tangible impact it has on the world and the people in it that ultimately matters.

Of course, this is not a problem unique to the faith of Yaldaboath, the Parsian priesthood is pretty corrupt (@innerchorus made a post about that, I'll link it if I can find it again), and y'know, all institutionalized, big religions seem to follow the rough chops. Hell, in my homeland's history one of our kings went to war to seize Buddhist texts from another king!! Like what!! That's so antithetical to what Buddhism is supposed to be about!

Where am I going with this? Honestly, I've got no fucking clue. I just needed to rant, I suppose.

Everybody's big sister comes into clutch and nudges Arslan to not lose focus.

Also, is it just me or does Arslan's hair seem kinda long in this scene? Like,

Am I imagining things???? Was his hair always this long?

After two whole rants in the same post I no longer have the brain juices to dedicate any meaningful thought about the Royal Academy thing but I will say that I definitely want to know more about it. Who attends it? Is it a boarding school? Do other regions of Pars have similar academies? How do children of nobility and the wealthy in more rural areas learn? At home, with private tutors? This was never elaborated on and I'm left with a bucketload of questions.

They!! Alfarīd looks so cute here, look at that smile! And Farangis is so fond. I really love their bond, though I wish it was featured a little more (I guess it kinda is, but it involves Farangis pushing Alfarīd onto Narsus and I'm not sure how I feel about that so yeah).

And between and behind the two there's one of the dresses Alfarīd showed Narsus later on! The one she didn't end up buying, though I have to admit it's a cute design.

#arslan senki #the heroic legend of arslan #heroic legend of arslan #arslan senki reread #hilmes #team zahhak #the master #guiscard #farangis #arslan #Alfarīd #alfarid #alfreed #man what a post I typed #after a long-ass hiatus of this reread project and I come back with THIS #anyways ArSen brainrot go brr #I was gonna go into more detail about Zahhak's origins #but then I realized #wait not everybody has been exposed to novel spoilers #and restrained myself #I'd be very open to discussion in the replies tho!!

[bookstayallaroundthelibrary]

SOCIAL PATH ANALYSIS TIME!!!!

I'm always doing this when I want something to do that'll occupy my mind. There's a lot of it, and none of it may be accurate. Art exists for interpretation, though, right? So I'll see what I can offer. Be warned, my thoughts will be haphazard because it's past two in the morning and I have a headache.

Now let's start with the obvious. I think we've all clocked that Social Path is a play for the word Sociopath. Stray Kids do that a lot, right? Bend words to wrap around themselves because maybe they feel imprisoned by what the original word represents? Maybe they feel it is a label, and if they must carry one of those, they'd rather design it themselves.

The opening is "gave up my youth for my future"😭😭

An alien (foreigner) in the town.

All the hate, all the broken lines. All the anger and the resolve.

Oh my God, there are so many layers to this song😭🫠.

Their voices meld so well together. Not to mention the instrumentals, which sound genius, yes, but a bit light and excited too. The lyrics though—

It makes so much sense, at least from the perspective I'm looking at. Them being adrift, like comets, with the possibility of crashing or continuing to float.

Being lost in a sea of bodies, just giving up. Hands and words and chains reaching for them, people telling them to give up, trying to hold them down.

I don't know if it goes this deep, but felix has only one wing, the pain it must've taken to loose the other but still hold on to that one side. Did it get ripped out? Did he stumble and decide to "rise up stronger"?

And in the end, they stand as if they have won a battle, Bruised perhaps, but they've victorious. And a war still awaits.

There's more people...

A different line of thought, I'm thinking the part Lee Know is on his bed, a place that should be one of comfort and rest and privacy for him, and hands are frantically reaching for him despite how much he's curling into himself might have something to do with fans and their mega obsessions and lack of respect for their private lives.

Not to mention the same faceless people made bang chan feel choked, and he never did escape them in the video. But then there's a part where they stand and lift him up, till he's floating.

I don't know. There is so much hyper-symbolism in everything that I'm getting wrapped up in it, too.

If we begin breaking down the MV scene by scene them you will get to see the full picture and not fragments of the message they trying to pass on

The M/V fits the lyrics totally.

The scene where Han was chained??

Where the chains fear?

Was it doubt? Was it pain? Was it the endless dread of the future?

And the fact that he was chained alone, in a fortress where he saw nothing but himself. Was that a way of showing how he kept all the pain, the negative emotions locked away inside of him, how he projected it onto himself?

Life isn't easy, neither is any of this simple, and they showed it in rock and roll😌🫠 how amazing is that!!!!!!

When everyone ignored I.N? Why?

Others debuted but not BangChan....it was like he wasn't seen,he wasn't heard...in the midst of everyone,he stood alone with no one to hold

Then them pushing through all those throes of faceless people that signify not just people but every single hurdle they have had to overcome and come out stronger just to keep this dream alive.

I cannot even begin to unpack all this. Making them laugh while they feel empty? It echoes, it's loud. Having to appeal to a world that barely even wants them. And the line "meant to be my dream". I'm sure no one expected dreams to hurt this much, especially not people who were barely more than children, reaching for something they could never imagine having. Like I said, their life in a nutshell. They said, "It was supposed to be their dream," not something to expand their worries.

And I feel like that space simulation is a safe space, the chorus happens there, maybe its each other.

That scene was a lot. The m/v was so intense that at first glance, one would assume it was nothing but chaos, but isn't that what life looks like from the outside? There is so much to unpack about it and it's so easy to judge another.

There's more everyone but I feel I should save it for another day.

Before I stop though, I'll have to mention the theory I keep seeing from other people on tiktok and Instagram. They say each scene depicts a members fear, Here it goes:

Changbin: Nightmares.

Lee Know: Fear of Heights

Felix: Overthinking

Seungmin: Fear of small spaces I.e Claustrophobia

I.N: Fear of being ignored

Han: it think ita fear if being forgotten/ Anxiety.

Hyunjin: Fear of being alone.

Bang Chan: I think its him loosing his voice.

There's the whole Lisa aspect. Does she represent their dream? Is she a villainous character in the M/V? Am I just a crazy human? Yes.

#stray kids #social path #5 star era #bang chan #changbin #han jisung #hyunjin #i.n #lee felix #lee know #seungmin #music analysis #music #music video #kpop #i love stray kids #wait am i the only stay on this app?

[renslo161605]

Just how he is I'm afraid

Super emo deep please read caption a bit i beg please :) ?

Slight TW: mentions of abuse and blood (no graphic detail or anything)

So some of this has like- personal meaning which I won't get super into but I was fairly proud of the idea.

I also use "he" alot. Anyone can be an abuser. But i imagine this wolf and buck to both be males. And my situation was between two males so yk. But of course a man can abuse a woman, a woman can abuse a man. Non-binary can abuse men ect. Abuse isn't defined to a gender. Just thought i should make that clear.

For context- canines will do something I think people call "muzzling" where they bite eachothers muzzle. They may yelp, or growl and snarl while they do it and it's often between pups/cubs.

This is a play on that being that the wolf does not know any better, this is how he was brought up. Of course, the deer knowing this is how he shows his love, but quite clearly it's hurting him. Still he doesn't look phased or in pain. He just takes it.

The take on this is basically emotional abuse/manipulation. I am a believer that many abusers are like this because they've suffered abuse themself. The wolf having only known this as a sign of friendliness does it to show his love. This could be someone constantly venting, maybe they take their anger out on a loved one because they TRUST them. Maybe they became their "favourite person" of sorts. Maybe it can even get physical. Lots of different forms.

The tie is that the wolf is biting down on the deer in what would be considered a friendly way how he was brought up. But it's not a friendly way. He has drawn blood and it hurting the deer, maybe he doesn't realise it. The deer, knowing his worth to the other person is not turning away. He is just taking it.

For me in my situation. This was'

*verbal/emotional abuse/ manipulation/dumping his issues onto me as a literal child ect. (He had no friends LMAO)*

*me "just taking" it so it doesn't get worse"

The deer "just takes" the bite.

If the deer tried to break away, the wolf will surely bite down harder and the deers pulling will make the wound deeper. So the deer has no choice but to just take it.

If you look closely there are darker spots on the wolfs muzzle where the wolf may have also been bitten.

The real sad part is the abuser ("the wolf") in this situation will probably never change. Especially if they're older. They just are that way. It's the only way they've ever known.

Of course experiences are different for everyone.

Summery:

The wolf bites as a sign of love. This is the only love he has ever known.

But this is not love. The deer is hurt, still the deer takes it because if it tries to pull the wolf will bite down harder, making the wound deeper.

Emotional abuse CAN be built from an unhealthy attachment. But when the person starts pulling away, the "wolf" will only dig deeper, desperate for them to stay, perhaps not realising or not accepting what they've done despite being told many many times.

ALSO WHEN YOU'VE BEEN TELLING SOMEONE ABOUT HOW YOU MISS THEM BUT THEY SHOULDN'T (a whole other kettle of fish) AND THEY GO "Thats just how he is" OR SOMETHING ALONG THOSE LINES. LIKE YEAH?? I WAS THERE?

Every since i was younger i loved to draw animals, my "wolf" would often watch over me. Infact one of my first good tonal drawings was of a wolf, he saw it and said it was amazing.

Now adays aswell as just drawing animals because they're fun, I'll draw them with kind of hidden meanings and interpretations, like this one, usually i keep them secret my for me i like to see people online with like- similar experiences or interpretations to experiences? So maybe someone can relate?

Also, the flowers at the bottom each have meaning aswell as some of them just being a bit personal to me. But if you want to look them up the flowers are:

(from left to right)

Rose

Daisys

Rhododendron/azalea

Lavender

THIS IS SUPER EMO AND DEEP LMAO I'm well aware of that

But i liked the idea and it made sense.

Sorry for rambling, I'm bad for writing alot without actually making a point. Hope you guys understand tho. I'm genuinely kinda proud of this tho <3

Ik I'm not amazing at it, it's 2:40am, i was having a bit of a moment and this came to mind. So bababooe you have emo post now.

YES i have added a filter because the contrast on the original one was a tad off bc i don't have them fancy 6b pencils n stuff.

No matter what someone has been through it DOES NOT excuse abuse. You are not responsible for that, you are a victim of it. And all i can say it leave, don't even stay in contact, leave. I tried to have a foot in both worlds by leaving but staying in contact and trying to sway him in the right direction. It was draining, and every time i took a step forward with him i was thrown 100ft back and I was always the one in tears.

It's a brave thing to leave. It's scary. But it's brave. You prioritise you. You love you. And find someone who loves you the way you need to be loves.

Ty :)) <3

#artists on tumblr #artwork #art #traditional art #sketchbook #sketch #tonalism #amateur artist #meaning #art with meaning #deer #wolf #slight vent #??? #awareness #nature #flowers

[akanesheep]

I wrote about my MC as she is to me, please don’t come for me for not writing them as gender neutral. 😥 feel free to interpret all pronouns as you wish.

My MC:

My MC is much like myself. Although she’s smaller… because I wish I were 5’2” for some reason. I’m only a few inches above that, but to me short = cute. She has fluffy soft curly hair that is a soft auburn color. She frequently dyes it all different colors though.

She’s soft spoken, and can be a bit timid with new people, but once she gets comfortable with someone, she opens up quite a bit. She’s very kindhearted, and easily gets her feelings hurt, but also very forgiving. She’s self-conscious and doesn’t see herself in the best light. This stems from the bullying and mistreatment she received in her childhood.

She’s clumsy. Like she can trip over air. She always has bruises from bumping into things, tripping on the carpets, etc. She usually has little dots of ink on her hands from writing, because she somehow manages to miss the pin cap, or bumps her hand against the end of them pen/marker somehow.

She holds little attachment to the human realm, she doesn’t care much for a place where she never felt welcome. There are a few people there she cares for, but not enough to want to be there all the time. Aside from those few individuals, if the human realm decided to end it’s existence, she wouldn’t care much.

She likes to make things, sewing, quilting, crochet, floral arranging, wreaths, painting, crafting, she loves them all… her room is always containing some work in progress, and the supplies are always neatly arranged in her closet, unless she’s currently using them.

She’s stubborn, insanely stubborn, and refuses to back down when she knows she’s right. She rushes in when her loved ones are in danger with no regard to the consequences. No matter how many times her husbands admonish her for doing so, she turns right around and does it again.

Along those lines, she defends those she loves vehemently. Don’t come to her with requests that put one of them at a disadvantage. Don’t coke to her and speak ill of those she loves, she will react poorly. This applies to her husbands also, they aren’t immune to her anger should they start trying to put themselves over the others, or just trash talk the others in general. She will hear our complaints and give her advice and if necessary, intervene, but this isn’t Jr. High, she doesn’t play games. All of those involved are adults and they knew what this was when they chose to be involved.

She listens, calm and patiently. Whether it’s Levi on a rant about a game or anime, Mammon about his schemes, Lucifer letting off steam, Satan on a tangent, Diavolo’s excited gushing about a plan… you get it. She only interrupts to ask a question, or to ward Mammon off a particularly bad idea. Otherwise, she lets them talk it out of their system. She loves talking with all of them, hearing their thoughts, wants, and dreams.

She believes in them wholeheartedly, she sees each and every one of their individual worth.

When she loves, she loves deeply. It takes a lot to shake her devotion. Because of this, her past is littered with failed relationships. Those who would fill their time with her and then be done with her. Those who would abuse her until she found the strength to leave. Those who would just abandon her when she needed them the most. Due to this she fears betrayal and abandonment, she’s anxious, and fears each argument will lead to her being left alone. She has trust issues, but is still more trusting than she should be.

She doesn’t fully believe in hearing ‘I love you’ so she needs to be shown. She doesn’t fully believe in acts of love so she needs to hear ‘I love you’. She knows this is a huge contradiction, but doesn’t know how to resolve it.

She desires a protector and defender. To be protected from and defended against the pain she has suffered and those that would bring more to her. She doesn’t seek fame, glory, and isn’t on a quest for power. She simply wishes for happiness for herself and those she loves. She can’t but to meddle and try to help those around her.

She is very self-sacrificing. She’ll give whatever it takes to make those around her happy, even if it means giving her life. Her final thoughts as Belphie took her life were ‘I guess if it brings him peace, I can die…’

That doesn’t mean she was ‘ok’ with what happened. She had to take time to be comfortable around him being in the same room, much less alone… but she knew that Belphie was someone who in his own twisted way, had opened up some to her, and was hurting in his own ways. She decided to try to believe in the love he had for his sister, and the faith his brothers put into him.

She’s self-depreciating at times… she knows being poly isn’t the ‘norm’ in the human world… and until she found herself in the Devildom, she wouldn’t have believed she was poly. In those early days of finding herself falling for the brothers, as well as Diavolo, Barbatos, Simeon, and Solomon, she cursed herself and cried regularly, memories of untrue accusations of being a ‘whore’ or ‘slut’ would ring in her mind… except now, wasn’t it true? Is that what she was? She struggled immensely with this, even as she continued to fall deeper into her depression. She broke one night while Asmo was doing her nails, as he happily chattered about his day, and their plans for a date the next day, how they’d have outfits that complemented each other perfectly, etc. she felt tears begin to slide down her cheeks.

‘MC?’ Asmo questioned, looking concerned, ‘Oh my lamb, what is it?’

‘Asmo… I’m horrible… I’m a terrible person’ her voice shook as the tears increased, poring now down her face.

He pulled her to his lap, words of gentle admonishment regarding her words, and comfort slipping from his lips and he held her. ‘Talk to me MC, tell me what this is all about. I need to know why you feel this way’

‘Asmo, I can’t… you’ll hate me’

He chuckled softly, only a whisper of it escaping his lips as he pressed soft kisses to the side of your face, then turning you to face him. ‘Nonsense, nothing in this world could ever make me hate you’

‘You will, because I’m disgusting’

‘Love, you’re sounding like Levi…’ he teased, lifting her chin gently. ‘Now enough of that, tell me what is going on, I can’t understand if you don’t tell me’

Sobbing, she looked at his honey eyes, his face worried, and whispered her darkest truth, ‘I love you, but not just you… I’m in love with your brothers too…’ she looked away, ashamed and waiting for the inevitable explosion of anger and words like blades.

Instead he laughed…a gentle chiming laugh that he only used when he hears something he already knew. ‘Little lamb… did you honestly think I didn’t know? Me?’ He turned you to face him again. ‘Lovely, I’ve known since the beginning. I’m the avatar of Lust. Emotions like lust, and love, are my domain.’

‘But Asmo, I’m wrong, something in me is broken’

‘Why is that?’

‘Because I love all of you… that means I’m a whore’

Asmo scoffed offended ‘Does that mean you see me as a whore?’

‘Of course not!’ Her eyes look panicked, fearing she’s said the wrong thing again.

His eyes remained soft and gentle as he cupped your face. ‘Then why would you be?’

‘B-because I’m not supposed to…’

‘Says who?’

‘Everyone’ she gestured around her, then her voice lowered to a whisper, ‘Even if you aren’t, they hate me for the thought’

Knowing her past, Asmo sighed softly. He cupped both of her cheeks and wiped her tears away. ‘I’m going to tell you something about the Devildom, as well as demons, that I thought you already knew. We’re a polygamous society. Monogamy isn’t encouraged or discouraged, and the same is true of polygamy. I’m sure you realized that most of the female demons here are succubi? Did you think that just changes when they settle down?’

She looked at him, quietly crying as she listened. She shook her head at his question. Of course they didn’t, they’re succubi.

‘See? And me? I’m the avatar of lust after all. While I’m not an incubus, I still feed on the lust of those around me, as well as the lust and love of those I’m intimate with.’

‘But what about other demons that aren’t succubi or incubi’

‘Well if most females are succubi, that would imply they have multiple partners, yes? So do incubi… but rarely are they in a relationship with each other… their lusts and passion would feed into the others drives and only make them more hungry. So they seek actual partners that aren’t either.’

‘Do you have other partners’ she asks blushing.

‘You and Solomon are my only ‘partners’’ he said firmly, ‘however, I have had casual relationships when you are both away, to keep myself from becoming too hungry. Think of it like Beel’s hunger. If he doesn’t ‘eat’ he goes on a rampage. While I wouldn’t destroy buildings or eat furniture, I could cause a lot of issues if I don’t stay in balance’

She nodded, understanding the demon in front of you in a new light.

‘But your brothers aren’t incubi’

‘No, they aren’t. But that doesn’t mean they aren’t able to understand and love just as much. I can assure you that any conversation you have with them won’t be a closed-minded one’

‘How do you know?’

Asmo laughs softly and pulls you to him, ‘Still afraid little Lamb? Let me as you this… do you think that even as large as this house is, that we don’t know when you’ve intimate with one of us? As shy as you are, the adorable sounds you make aren’t what one could consider quiet’

She blushes deep red. ‘N-no… that’s so embarrassing…’

‘Eh? Not at all.’ He teases, ‘Despite this, and how much we notice the marks on your neck, have any of us confronted you or said anything to you or each other?’

‘N-no?’

‘There you have it. We also know when you’ve been with any of the others outside the house as well’

‘What?? How?!’

‘Silly,’ he pets your hair as he teases you, ‘ Lee can smell it on you when you come home’

‘Oh God’ she cries, mortified, she covers her face.

‘Such language’ scolds Asmo, acting horrified, ‘to think my girlfriend would bring up Father’s name when I’m right in front of her’

The dramatic teasing pulls her back from her embarrassment.

‘Asmo, what do I do?’

‘Do? Love, whatever do you mean?’

‘I mean, now… what do I do knowing what I know, and knowing what you all know?’

‘Nothing. Live happily and let us care for you. Live in the knowledge that you are loved and will always be loved.’

She does just that. She does have conversations with all of them at some point, because her mind needs concrete proof that everyone is in agreement. She learns that Mammon and Levi go through jealous bouts, but don’t question her love for them, and want this to continue. Even Diavolo is fully on board. Which surprised her, with the royal bloodline and all. Turns out the complication wasn’t so complicated at all.

She feels unworthy of all the love she’s showered with, but she’s also happier than she’s ever been in her life. She doesn’t know what she’s done to deserve such joy, but she refuses to part with any of them. Perhaps it’s the influence of her lovers through the pacts she shares with them… but she takes pride in them, greedily wants to spend time with them, gets envious if they talk to others, gets angry on their behalf, loves and desires them always, revels in their love like Beel at a buffet, relishes in the time she can just be there with them comfortably.

She’s prideful, greedy, envious, wrathful, lustful (and loving), gluttonous, and lazy… with some chaos, diligence, patience, loyalty, and grace mixed together. She is my MC.

I hope you all enjoyed this. I’ve really been wanting to in some way show you all my MC, but my art abilities suck. So I gave you an imperfect narrative.

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me headcanons #obey me! #obey me mc #Akanesheep #my mc #embarrassed sheep noises

[kerra-and-company]

Kerra's Playlist: Analysis

Hello folks! Welcome to something I put probably way too much thought into—aka me talking about the playlist I made for Kerra 😊

(also, tagging @i-mybrunettelady and @king-there0f, since you guys said you were specifically interested in seeing this <3)

Warnings for content below: assorted spoilers for the entire GW2 storyline, suicidal thoughts, grief

So, some things about Kerra's playlist that give me Emotions when I listen to it:

The first song on Kerra’s playlist is instrumental, and it’s called Valiant—Kerra’s first-ever title, and one that she has claim to as soon as she awakens.

Broken Heart of Gold is the seventh song. It’s early in this playlist and early in Kerra’s life; she’s about a month and a half old here at most. And the chorus is this:

Sometimes I just wanna quit Tell my life I'm done with it When it feels too painful Sometimes I just wanna say I love myself but not today When it feels too painful I smash my broken heart of gold

Kerra is grieving and she is angry. She had to kill Tiachren. It was her fault and it wasn’t; she could have made another choice but she wouldn’t have; it’s a death that teaches her that guided destinies don’t come casualty-free. This song is mostly about the grief and self-hatred that comes out of this incident, but she’s angry at others as well, and a big part of that anger is directed at the Nightmare Court. When Faolain visits Briarthorn, Kerra (there undercover at the time, working with Alarin) seriously considers killing her, both out of a generalized anger towards the Court and a very personal anger towards Faolain with her (at this point still limited) knowledge of what Faolain did to Caithe.

What I’m Here For (number 10) is meant to be a sweet song but has always been kinda bittersweet for me, and that translates to the role it has in Kerra’s playlist. She, sincerely and truly at this point, thinks her value is in what she can do for other people. (Also, based on where it’s located on the playlist, it’s technically a little before she joins the Order of Whispers, but the line “I’ll be the brightest shadow you’ve ever had” is very tied to her and the Order.)

Angel With A Shotgun is...just a very Kerra song. The whole thing fits her, to be honest, but especially this:

They say before you start a war You better know what you're fighting for Well baby, you are all that I adore If love is what you need, a soldier I will be

For Kerra, this isn't meant to be interpreted in an explicitly romantic sense. You could read it as platonic love/romantic love/just how much she cares about the world in general, and she could be talking about/to many different people. There's also something to be said about this bit:

If love's a fight, then I shall die With my heart on a trigger

Considering that she does, in fact, during PoF.

No One Stands Alone is Kerra's becoming-the-Commander song (think end of level 60 PS and retaking Claw Island):

No one's falling No one will be forgotten No one's going on their own

We find light Through the smoke No one stands alone

Through the fire We find hope No one stands alone

It's good and also very painful--"no one else is dying if I can help it, I will never forget those we lost, I'll stand beside you even if no one else will"--but it's also very much her acknowledging that she's a leader. Where she goes, people will follow, and that's important even if it's hard. And there's the bridge, which is also worth noting:

I won’t let you leave we just started My heart’s on my sleeve, it’s unguarded They might come for me a new target They need a new target My heart is unguarded

Both another instance of her being self-sacrificing and one of her saying that she's going to keep loving anyways, regardless of whether it hurts her or not.

Also, to add one more point--it's an echo of something Tybalt says during the level 40 PS: "When you stand with the Order of Whispers, you never stand alone."

May I is (in this playlist) meant to be Kerra talking to the fledgling Dragon's Watch during LWS1:

May I hold you As you fall to sleep When the world is closing in And you can't breathe May I love you May I be your shield When no one can be found May I lay you down

"Can I protect you, can I love you, are you happy to have me here and as your friend? Because I'm really happy to be yours, and I want to keep this thing we've built, if I can."

Ready or Not is Kerra and Scarlet going back and forth during Clockwork Chaos:

You thought nothing could surprise you You thought you'd seen everything But you never saw me coming All eyes on me Ready or not

Some of the lines are more Kerra, and some of them are more Scarlet, but you could take the song as coming from either one of them alone and it'd be equally valid.

Breathe is Kerra's Tower of Nightmares song--hallucinations, doubt, just have to get through this:

I know right now you're not strong enough But breathe

Strange Sight is technically from one of the Tinkerbell movies, I think? But I first heard it entirely divorced from that context, so it's not particularly relevant xD As far as the new context I'm giving it, this is Kerra's catching-romantic-feelings song:

You're reckless and distant But I'll be persistent I will understand you Strange How I'm drawn to the danger I'll reach out my hand to you

You are a strange sight Some new kind of wonder

There's a light that you shine There's a love, I see it in your eyes

It's not a perfect match in all respects, but those few segments really hit home. Kerra's friendship (and eventual romantic relationship) with Nisha and Canach is based on a) seeing things she understands in both of them, and notably somewhat darker things (Nisha's grief, Canach's anger), and b) being willing to reach out and connect because she thought they were worth connecting to. And they reached back to her, too.

Echo is Kerra right after the Shadow of the Dragon attacks the Summit--she knows her Wyld Hunt now, but so many other things have been thrown into question, and she feels incredibly off-kilter and afraid in a way she's really never been before:

I can't get a grip, but I can't let go There wasn't anything to hold onto, though

The trembling fear Is more than I can take When I'm up against The echo in the mirror

Brittle, on the other hand, is Kerra after she learns the truth about the origin of sylvari, thanks to both the memory seeds and Nisha. It's anger at her mother and Caithe, anger at her situation, anger at herself for not being stronger, and anger at Mordremoth (and those distrustful of sylvari) as we bleed over from the end of LWS2 into HoT and the Pact fleet's destruction. I think the segment of this song that best fits Kerra here is this:

If I get defensive Don't say I'm oversensitive Maybe I have a tendency to snap on people telling me "You fit inside this box we built, we know you better than yourself" They're lying, they're lying, they're lying

Dear Shadow comes at the end of HoT, but it's reflective of Kerra and her Wyld Hunt and her emotions surrounding it since she awakened. She's talking to her Hunt, the voice in the back of her mind telling her to kill the dragon, like it's an entity all its own:

The first day that we met I saw you out of the corner Of my eye, I was 5 You're still the thumb that I'm under

Oh, I hid you away Pushing you down You left me caught between a light and a dark place

On the wall I was 10, you were more than a feeling By my side, unwanted The sun would see you come creeping Made of fear I was strong There's no shame to have you here Where you belong

I've been lonely Keeping you back there behind me Got this swollen feeling We could make amends I see it's only me needing You back there behind me In my soul I feel like Maybe we'll be friends But you're holding me back Yeah, you're holding me back And I just want to run

In order of segment, it's referencing: sapling times, post-Zhaitan, LWS2, the final battle with Mordremoth (where the Hunt is finally completed). This is maybe one of my favorite songs on this whole playlist.

Brother gives me emotions about Kerra and Trahearne, and them supporting each other as they build the Pact, and the huge risk that she takes to save him at the end of HoT--she's the one to bring him home:

Ramblers in the wilderness We can't find what we need We get a little restless from the searching Get a little worn down in between Like a bull chasing the matador Is the man left to his own schemes Everybody needs someone beside 'em Shining like a lighthouse from the sea

Brother, let me be your shelter Never leave you all alone I can be the one you call When you're low Brother, let me be your fortress When the night winds are driving on Be the one to light the way Bring you home

Now You Believe In You is instrumental, but the title alone says why it's important. Kerra post!HoT is free from her Wyld Hunt. She still carries losses on her shoulders and always will, but she truly believes in her capability going forward and in herself, now, in a way that was thrown a little off course for a while during LWS2. It's also that feeling that gives her the last push she needs to confess to Canach and Nisha.

And Rather Be is her confession song:

If you gave me a chance, I would take it It's a shot in the dark, but I'll make it Know with all of your heart, you can't shame me When I am with you, there's no place I'd rather be

"I want to be with you, if you want that too. I choose this, I choose you. Both of you are so absolutely worth the love I have for you."

Also worth noting a couple more lines:

It's easy being with you Sacred simplicity

In a lot of ways, this isn't actually that true. Kerra's the Commander, Nisha takes on the Marshal position a few months after this point, Canach's billet is still held by Anise, and they have literally no idea what form the world is going to take going forward. So it's not so much the situation that's simple, but the being-with-them, and the choice itself. Of course she'd choose them.

We're different and the same

Always been important, always will, even if it's a statement that'd be true about any set of strangers you met on the street.

As long as I am with you My heart continues to beat

And last but not least, I continue to be mean about seeing foreshadowing here--they're not with her when she fights Balthazar.

Never Look Away is one of my favorite songs for the three of them (Nisha/Kerra/Canach), in part because of its tendency to list things out in threes. (Also because there's literally the line "We're gonna photosynthesize and drink up the sunrise" in it, which is excellent.) I bolded a couple bits to highlight the triplets, but I wanted to show you all of these lyrics because they fit really really well:

So do they ever shut up because you said so or Do you overthink 'em all Somebody ought to corrupt you on the dance floor And take you home Show you all your daemons and desires and dark sides All of your colonies and continental divides

Let me uncover the silver in your dark hair The weight of your bones I want to witness the beauty of your repair The shape you've grown For you are made of nebulas and novas and night sky You're made of memories you bury or live by

So if you're out there in the cold I'll cover you in moonlight If you're a stranger to your soul I'll bring you to your birthright I want the storm inside you awoken now I want your warm bright eyes To never look away

Sunlight (yes, the Hozier one) is a song that could really go in a lot of places on this playlist--it's very Kerra, but not a specific time of Kerra doing things. For the purposes of the playlist timeline, though, it's during LWS3. All the lyrics fit in some way, but to avoid quoting all of them, I'll just give you this:

All the tales the same Told before and told again A soul that's born in cold and rain Knows sunlight, sunlight, sunlight And at last can grant a name To a buried and a burning flame As love and its decisive pain Oh, my sunlight, sunlight, sunlight

Dirt Around The Tree is a song that's so Kerra (in terms of both her entire timeline and specifically right after she comes back from being dead in PoF) that my brain visualized an entire animatic for it that I'm not able to draw--I won't write about it here, but I am absolutely going to reblog that post so you can see. It's also in my fics tag if anyone's reading this and decides they want to go find it :)

Paper Dragon gives me Kerra vibes post-PoF specifically, but it's also just a good song for Kerra looking into the faces of Elder Dragons and a god and saying, "Still standing." For a few segments:

Well, you try to stamp me out But I'll come to life You try to burn me up But I'll never die

Sticky tape me, re-arrange me, throw me out, start again Re-use me, confuse me, shred me up-up into little pieces You say I make no sense

Oh, you don't own me I don't think you're fair Try to destroy me I don't care

All I Know So Far is one of my favorite songs for Kerra and her kids (Aurene, Rhi, Tev and Ia). It's also specifically a parenting song for Kerra and her partners, if you choose to listen to it for the three of them rather than just for her:

I wish someone would have told me that this life is ours to choose No one's handing you the keys or a book with all the rules The little that I know I'll tell to you When they dress you up in lies and you're left naked with the truth

This verse in particular (above) is very Kerra, but the chorus that it segues into (below) has elements of her and Nisha and Canach:

You throw your head back, and you spit in the wind Let the walls crack, 'cause it lets the light in Let 'em drag you through hell They can't tell you to change who you are That's all I know so far And when the storm's out, you run in the rain Put your sword down, dive right into the pain Stay unfiltered and loud, you'll be proud of that skin full of scars That's all I know so far

And the rest of the song is like that, too; I'm just not going to put all of it here for the sake of both space and my brain xD :)

Run is another one I wrote an animatic "script" for--will reblog that shortly, but please check out my fics tag and you'll find it there!

And last but not least for individual songs, I have to mention Hell or High Water because it's a very Kerra-during-EoD song, struggling against both the Void and Ankka (as well as all the other complications going on). It's also related to water, which, considering Soo-Won, is very fitting:

We are running out of time Meet me at the water line No one here is safe We are running out of time Don't forget your promises It's only fear inside your head We won't be replaced No one here is safe

When the river's running red And we begin to falter We'll hang on to the edge Come hell or high water

There's a few song parallels in here also--three of note are:

1) Weight of the World (during the Zhaitan campaign/level 80 PS) and Featherweight (when Kerra steps down as Commander after EoD), and

2) Go for Gold (the first instance where a song has "champion" in the lyrics, which for Kerra is both being a champion for herself and her new friends during LWS1) and Champions ("champions aren't born, they're built"--after returning from the Domain of the Lost).

3) Angel With a Shotgun comes back later, in a sped-up version, during the early part of EoD--Kerra is willing to sacrifice herself to save Rhi and Gorrik when they're all crashing into the shores of Cantha, and it's why she's as injured as she is (and why she needs almost a month to recover).

And...I shall stop there! But if you actually read this far, thanks so much for being interested, and I hope you had a good time. My brain has so many Kerra thoughts in it at all times and a bunch of those manifest in her playlist, so it was really nice to write this down.

:) <3

#my fics #gw2 #kerralind #there's a Lot here guys asjdkl;fsaf i did warn you lol #hope someone other than me has fun reading through this!! :)

[pebblysand]

First off I hope you are enjoying your vacation!

Second I wanna jump in and say I agree with your last answer on Harry and jealousy and also agree that I think your characterization makes sense. I think Harry in 6th year feeling his “chest monster” vs Harry post war hearing about Ginny hooking up with other people after they broke up are both different people and would respond accordingly. To me this is shown clearly when they are talking around Christmas and Harry says how he’d rather Ginny be his friend than nothing at all.

Additionally (and this fully is just MY interpretation so bare that in mind) I think a part of Harry’s chest monster/conflict/aggressive feelings on the matter in 6th year is him unpacking his feelings for Ginny after years of just seeing her as Ron’s little sister but also guilt towards the Weasleys for seeing Ginny like that. While Harry loves the Weasleys he constantly feels guilty about them being “dragged in” to the war (they would have joined regardless). He also shows especially in 5th year after Arthur is attacked fear of being rejected/on the outskirts of the family and not REALLY a member. I imagine for Harry to realize he suddenly feels attraction towards Ginny, the youngest and only girl, he would feel a bit like a monster especially after seeing how Ron responded to Ginny’s past boyfriends. So I don’t think his “chest monster” was JUST jealousy (though a fair amount was, which, understandable).

Last thing- I personally love that you wrote Harry and Ginny breaking up for a bit after the war. Obviously I love them together and think of them as endgame for one another but also I think that them being so entrenched with lose and trauma and pain at such a young age that them taking a break and seeing other people would make total sense and honestly might be healthier in the long run. So again- I like the characterization I think it makes perfect sense.

[in reference to this ask]

Thank you for this lovely ask, anon! I had a great vacation, thanks! I'm (sadly) back to work and in Dublin now, but it was a great two weeks :).

I think Harry in 6th year feeling his “chest monster” vs Harry post war hearing about Ginny hooking up with other people after they broke up are both different people and would respond accordingly. To me this is shown clearly when they are talking around Christmas and Harry says how he’d rather Ginny be his friend than nothing at all.

It's funny you say that because the "I'd much rather be your friend, than nothing at all," line was the line so many people were so "mad" at me about. I think someone said Harry was too "lovesick" and sounded like a "simp" or something? And, I don't know, I've re-read this part of the fic a number of times, really tried to be objective, but I can't see him respond any other way...

I mean, what are you meant to do when someone you love is seeing someone else? Or broke up with you? Either you stay their friend, or you stop seeing them in anger. It's not like he's going to sit her down and change her mind, you know? And, as he says in Castles, he's lost so many people in the war, as well as Giulia just a few days before, I really don't see him cutting Ginny out at that point. So, he just needs to accept it. And, I think you're right, it is a "change" since 6th year (although, again, I don't think he was ever possessive), but I think we, as writers, have to write character evolution and growth, otherwise we're not doing our jobs right. So, of course, he's not ecstatic at the fact that she's seeing someone else, but he'd rather be her friend than nothing at all. It makes sense to me and frankly, the more I've thought about it, the more certain I am of it.

And, yes, I totally agree with your second point. The feelings are much more complex than what just lies above the surface with his sixth year chest monster.

Thanks so much for your kind words! I truly appreciate the thoughts! I'm glad it all makes sense to you :). And, yes, lastly, I do believe that the way Harry hung on to Ginny (and vice versa) like a lifeline right before and during the war was great at the time, and allowed them both to survive, but they've got some serious healing to do, and I think it would be very healthy for them to break up for a bit as well :). You're 100% right about that :).

Lots of love ❤️.

#asked and answered #castles

[mythvoiced]

-. One thing that I truly enjoy about the boss fight against Hades is the mid-battle dialogue. Not only the content which is super interesting and there is one type of exchange I remember vaguely that I’d like to get into below, but also the fact that there is one at all.

There are bits and pieces of dialogue smacked into other boss fights too, Meg has her lines of calling in backup but also taunting Zagreus, Alecto and her rage-filled commentary, of course Theseus and how he never shuts the fuck up.

But those are lines, more than anything - absolutely superb lines, but not what I’m going for here. Zagreus has his lines too, ways to let the player know Eurydice’s acorn run out or when he’s lost his last Death Defiance, or commenting on why the hell the gods are helping Theseus DAMMIT- and such.

But the full on exchange Hades and Zagreus have during their battle, and I’m talking while you’re running around trying to land a hit, they scratch my brain so nicely~

Because of the anger. Where Hades’ side of things sound angry every time you talk to him, it is only against Hades that I’ve ever heard Zagreus sound so deeply enraged. I adore the emotion in his voice, I adore how you might get dialogue where they go fully back and forth for a few beats before stopping, I like how Zagreus points out what Hades is willing to do to his own son.

I adore the pain in Zagreus’ voice, because that’s how I’ve come to interpret that particular emotion in it. 

Anger comes in so many colours. Anger caused by disappointment, anger caused by frustration, anger caused by desperation. It can be the escalation of quite a few sensations, where things become too much and our heart starts burning into this direction. And they all tend to sound different, that’s why we differentiate between ‘wet anger’ and ‘dry anger’ (I’ve read that once, honestly), where wet anger is when we’re so hurt and care so much that we can’t help but cry as we rage.

Zagreus’ anger doesn’t make me think of the same kind of anger he’d reserve for Theseus, for example, where he’s annoyed, irritated that Theseus just won’t shut up. Or the anger he has for Tisiphone in a few instances where he’s angry she’d insinuate he’s a murderer, which doesn’t sit right with his morals because he’d never (which is why we should discuss the satyrs, but I digress).

The anger in Zag’s voice when he fights Hades is so raw and old. It feels like that ancient anger that adults who were children of these kinds of parents have been carrying with them for so long. The anger where you know you won’t be heard, where you’re so exhausted but can’t stop fighting because you care and do love them in the end and you just want them to understand, why can’t they bring themselves to care and love you enough to understand? That anger born from understanding that a child shouldn’t be treated a certain way, a sense of injustice caused to your child self.

It’s spat out, it’s retorted almost instantly, it’s faster than some of his other lines, it’s everything Zag doesn’t mention when he’s being kind and it’s perhaps one of the reasons he manages to be so kind, because he doesn’t want others around him to feel the same sense of this deeply ingrown pain and frustration raised in him by a cold, humiliating father.

#;ooc #the son;about #I had Some Thoughts about my favourite daddy issues boy~ #long post tw #PERSONALS PLEASE DON'T? just leave this to rest on my lil blog okay pls don't reblob it pls

[mantaineer]

Ramble #1

Interference and interruptions. It’s not hard to tell when you don’t belong somewhere; it’s more difficult to identify when you do. Struggles are far more residual than triumphs. I constantly feel as though I should not think at all, yet when I stop thinking I feel as though I should not be either. Constantly being probed by my circumstances to produce an outcome I do not dictate. Constantly being drowned out while my intentions are set ablaze, I’m held at fault for the destruction those pains cause. This is not growth or death. It’s conflict. Conflicts. None of which make sense to me due to their contradictions which go as far as inhibiting every fiber of my being. I have nothing of my own. I never have. A loan of a loan of a loan that never existed outside of the ideations of people we’ve never met. Day after day I am destroyed for the default, a common ground we all clearly stand on yet very few can see. Your mumbles are much louder than you perceive. You don’t hear those you’re harmonizing with, let alone their breathes. I’m not sad about it anymore. The anger is truly frustration. Like a server feverishly balancing too many windows, my concern is being cut. Not being seen. What we share is a leash, a relationship that is never fair. The only difference being that the leash does not belong to you. You’re bound only by the illusion of your ownership. Poems make poor poets. Too flimsy to express my structure alternatively, there is little room for interpretation. I lost my idea of comfort a long time ago, indefinitely stuck overextended with nothing worth reaching for. I would call it betrayal if they were ever my allies. I cannot fault them for being what they’ve always been, yet I curse them at every breath. Pain has a funny way of doing that. What I think and what I know are the same difference. Our words are designed to cherry pick which “truths” flow along the stream, although it all still boils downs to water in the end. Looking back has always hurt, but now I can hardly stand to look forward either. Realizing all the bridges I burnt, were burnt before I crossed them. I’ve been walking in place the entire time. Rushing to go nowhere, back to where I’ve never been. This and that, compare and contrast, and every variation in between. The line is clear yet we still pretend it’s white or black. The mirage is not a mirror, regardless of how much of yourself you see in it. The difference is never the same. Discovery is not creation, a conflation we continuously make which hinders our ability to truly observe and identify our world and life. Nothing created everything and everything discovered nothing as an idea. It was never absent nor ever will be. Our existence so far is a slim window, easily seen through. Yet we take it far too seriously. Causing each other unquantifiable amounts of pain and slapping price tags on it. We pay it forward again and again. This is not a love story. We either be constructive or be destroyed. I get the inclination we chose the latter. What more is there to say? I’m sure I’ll be squeezed for more regardless, senselessly usurped of autonomy I never really had. Only feeling the undermining. Confusion; yours and mine.

[bloodanddiscoballs]

Aaaaa I chose too many, so choose:

4; 5; 6; 8; 12 and 26 (this one probably encompasses all questions)

I could literally talk about this game all day so sjfjd

Disco Elysium Asks!

4.) What is one thing you don’t like about the story or that could have been done better?

This is a hard one for me. To be honest, I feel like I would have wanted more interaction with Ruby. I completely understand why we didn't get it but it's always odd when you hear about a person from other people without really getting an opportunity to get to know them yourself. She, like a lot of the characters, made me sad because she got the finger pointed at her when she was just trying to help someone she cared about. Whether you agree with what she did or not, she loved Klaasje enough to act quickly and attempt to solve the problem. It spoke to the rest of the story about community and the choices we make. I think I would have wanted to have the opportunity to extend kindness more than just the choice to let her go or not. Plus her machine is just incredible to me. She's clearly so smart and thinks on her feet. Ruby if you're out there....

5.) What is a popular fan interpretation that you don’t like?

I am not sure where the whole Jean-can't-get-a-boner came from but it isn't that I don't like it I just think it's funny. Same with him being a horse girl. All the dude said was that he was clinically depressed and instantly people were like "He's on our world's equivalent of antidepressants and those make you lose your sex drive." Also he made a passing comment about he was fine being an equestrian cop but Harry wanted the vehicles. I think it's fine to extrapolate I have fun doing that but I've met people who think it's law and thats just funny cause like we no near nothing about the dude skfbdk

6.) What do you love about the game?

What DON'T I love about it omfg. I think one of the biggest things for me is just how hopeful it is. I know if you're following me you know this but I deal with a lot of chronic pain and have gone through 6 reconstructive back surgeries. Sometimes it's really really hard for me but I'm a pretty hopeful person. So to have the message of this game be Love ANYWAY, Care ANYWAY, Keep Going ANYWAY was overwhelming. It helped me categorize my own thoughts in the way the Skills are represented as well as the Thought Cabinet. I loved how it gave space for joy and sorrow and anger and fun and allowed you time to feel all of those before moving you into the next. Life is worth living and fighting for and Disco Elysium makes you feel that every step of the way.

8.) What is your favourite line from the game?  

Oh MAN where do I begin!

Volition: You can do it. It's nothing. Do it for the city. Go.

Shivers: Do it for the wind.

Logic: Do it for the picture puzzle. Solve the world. One conversation at a time.

That entire Shivers convo in the church

AFTER LIFE - DEATH. AFTER DEATH; LIFE AGAIN. AFTER THE WORLD, THE PALE; AFTER THE PALE, THE WORLD AGAIN.

Volition: This is somewhere to be. This is all you have, but it's still something. Streets and sodium lights. The sky, the world. You're still alive.

"We ourselves may be loved only for a brief time. Even so, that will suffice. There is a city for the living and there is a city for the dead."

God I could go on and on

12.) What are your headcanons for pre-Martinaise Harry?  

I think he was one of those homophobic closeted guys. You know the ones. Like Izzy from OFMD haha. Like he probably did cheat on Dora with men but then drowned that away with booze because he thought it was shameful. I think he was one of those guys who maybe put on the whole macho facade but really he's very sensitive. He has that air of being raised with that whole "Don't be a pussy!" gross mindset that you see in older generations, especially cause Harry really does seem like someone who wants desperately to be wanted and loved and seen as Cool. So maybe he tried to be a chameleon and put on different faces but couldn't maintain it. It's probably what brought him back to disco tbh cause it's all about liberation. But then the people in his life that he wanted to love him didn't like the real him so he drank and drank and did drugs. Him forgetting aaaaall the stuff that gave him that baggage is a good thing.

26.) Just ramble freely about the game and let me know your thoughts

I'm so massively impressed eith the scale of this game. Like seriously it's astounding. This game has conversations in a way that I wish everyone could have them with an openness to get into the good and the bad about everything. Humanity is so complicated and you cannot ignore the people's impact on government ideologies. I appreciate that you get faced with a lot of different facets of different political alignments which really opens up the conversation for each of them and shows how one might find themselves agreeing with one or the other. Noid is a good example imo of how younger people could become swayed by fascism and the game allows you to really work through that conversation which I find fascinating. I think sometimes we become too afraid to have those complicated talks and then we don't talk about them at all which doesn't benefit anyone. In order to avoid harming people we have to be able to have very real conversations so that we can identify how harmful ideologies can masquerade as positive or passive. I also appreciate how the game challenges you when you are going with a route that hurts people (like with the Moralist route and that moment when you come across where those people were executed). I think the fact that the game is set up in a way that allows you to choose soooo much is incredible. There really isn't a lot like Disco Elysium and I'm endlessly impressed by it.

#thanks for the ask!

[bottomoftheriverbed]

The problem with the 1996 Romeo + Juliet is that Mercutio's death in that film is so well done that every other version falls flat for me because they can't do the death scene as well.

#i have yet to see a version of Mercutio's death deliver a plague on both your houses with the same resonance #i know many do a different interpretation of that line but the anger and pain and resentment is just perfect to me #romeo + juliet 1996 #romeo + juliet #romeo and juliet #mercutio #Mercutio's death #harold perrineau

[lovee-infected]

Your character analysis posts are really accurate! I like how you want to show that a character is a lot more than they show. It kind of angers me that there are people who headcanon the boys as something they're not, or they saying that they're this one personality trait only. What other characters from twisted get mischaracterized, at least in ur opinion?

THANK THANKK !! XD

I really enjoy going into depths of characters' personalities because damn- there were some big brains behind their creations!

This question was rather important so I couldn't decide on any specific characters to talk about, so I decided to list all of the twst characters and how they'd often get mischaracterized.

Mischaracterization isn't bound to twst fandom because as long as a there's a fandom, fanon interpretations of characters exist.

Almost any character in any fandom can be mischaracterized at some point, but it isn't always that noticable or important. Mischaracterization often becomes noticable when pretty different interpretations of rather 'popular' characters exist within a fandom, which causes many to argue over what the correct interpretation is.

For now, I'm dividing all of twst characters into "5 groups" to explain how each of them might often get mischaracterized.

Group A: Complex personalities

It's simple, these characters can be quite hard to understand. It's either because of having too many features at the same time, which makes them quite hard to read because we'll need to achieve a balance between all of their different personality aspects, or being quite secretive and mysterious which awfully bounds our knowledge regarding these characters and their personalities.

•Malleus Draconia: We previously talked about Malleus; the main reason of him getting mischaracterized is having plenty of spine-chilling features while having considerably childish and innocent hobbies at the same time. This opposition often makes it hard to decide on what the cannon Malleus is like, because it can hard to choose one between his darker side and softer side. What we need in order to achieve a rather cannon interpretation of Malleus, is a balance. Just as I previously said: Malleus isn't a baby, but he isn't a monster either.

•Lilia Vanrouge: Even without going into depths, you can tell that Lilia's personality is complicated as hell. Though I can't really tell that he's being Mischaracterized because the cannon Lilia himself can switch into a totally different personality in a matter of second, one moment he's a 90+ year old father trying to lead his children into he right path, one moment he's an unraveled neon teenager playing the ear-scrathing heavy metal with that guitar of his, and the other second he's an absolute monster which can creep the heck out of you with a simple "Boo". Lilia can also get plenty of different personalities through fanon interpretations:Yandere Lilia/Vampire fae/ Papa Lilia/ Daddy Vanrouge many other details which I can't go through now,but let me just say: A Lilia analysis would be rather long, and interesting one.

•Jade Leech: Speaking of reading characters, better know that this mister eel Leech is an absolutely tough one. You'll never know what he's hiding behind that friendly yet evil smile, or what intentions might be behind his extreme will to play the role of the butler and help everyone out. Understanding this Sebastian Michaelis complex is an absolute challenge and this is probably one of the things that makes him so Interesting, you always know that he's hiding something dark on the inside, yet you can't really tell what it is.

•Cater Diamond: This might be rather hard to notice, but there's a lot about Cater which is left untold. Despite his sweet and positive appearance, his personality is actually a bitter-sweet complex of too many emotions and a pretty well-written background. The amount of info found through his voice lines and personal stories is rather amazing as if you're reading a real boy's life story! But this amount of detail and considerably dark aspects of his personality can make it really hard to understand what's going on in this mysterious mind; especially because of how he seems to be hiding a second face under that friendly smile.

•Jamil Viper: Jamil can be quite hard to read. He isn't really emotional and hardly ever expresses his true feelings. Even NRC students agree that he can be quite a mystery, from his past life and daily struggles to how many of his true feelings and intentions remained a secret until chapter 4. Jamil is a complex of pain, power, hatred and patience. His background is perfect example of a villainous story and how a child can grow to be a villain, which is quite interesting! Jamil's story is worthy of a detailed analysis and some time for all of us to understand what this guy has been going through.

•Rook Hunt: We often tend to know him as Pomefiore's "dramatic stalker", and he surely is! The fanon interpretation of Rook doesn't usually go against his cannon interpretation (Expect for the times that people get salty over his appearance or attitude- Which leads to the creation of countless Rook memes-) While it's true that he's more than just a French stalker, it can be hard to talk about anything else when it comes to Rook, because the cannon Rook tends to hide a lot about himself, leaving us with a considerable lack of useful information to use. He really got us all there, huh? Even as he's a fictional character and we're living in real life- he tends to control what we know and think of him-

characters that can also belong to this group: Leona Kingscholar, Idia Shroud, Vil Schoenheit , Floyd Leech

Group B: Ignoring important features:

This group can get easily mischaracterized, mainly because each and every of them has an specific feature that really makes them stand out. (Ex: Riddle's short temper, Azul's soft and sensitive side, Sebek's obsession with Malleus,...) But paying to much attention to that one specific feature often leads to ignoring everything else about their personalities, and gives them a pretty simple and fanon interpretation which can sometimes be the total opposite of the detailed and cannon one.

•Azul Ashengrotto: Azul's fanon picture had an extreme change after chapter 3, mainly because of how his background and breakable side was revealed; the cruel and heartless mafia boss turned into the soft and emotional baby. This sudden change in perspective stole the hearts of many fans and the fandom in general came to appreciate Azul even more, but at some point it caused his most important feature to be forgotten: Azul tends to be strict about hiding that sensitive side of his, so the Azul we get to see in general is the fearful picture of the mastermind who's taken the magics of many away, not that baby Octopus who used to cry whenever other kids bullied him because he was different. Getting to know his background and true feelings made us forget about his professional and strict side which is indeed the most important side of his personality!

•Idia Shroud: Baby boy, soft child, sweet tooth cutie, pretty little emo,...and hundreds of other nicknames to appreciate Idia and his iconic nature. But in contrast to what many assume based on his appearance and social anxiety, Idia is way different from just a shy yet adorable nerd; this guy is seriously hiding some evil inside. If you go through his stories and get to the points where he's thinking with himself, you'll see how different he can be. While he can't really get to tell these properly through his main lines, you can find him secretly insulting and nagging at how annoying some people are several times. It isn't just about being shy, Idia obviously dislikes many of the people around him. Focusing on his social anxiety and awkwardness causes us to forget how different he is when he isn't forced into a face-to-face conversation, also note that there are many thoughts going through this guy's brain that you probably hadn't thought of.

•Floyd Leech: While Jade's personality is obviously a pretty complicated one, Floyd's character is even more confusing because of his playfulness and seemingly childish manners. But it's important to remember that deep inside, floyd is just as mysterious as his brother. Describing Floyd as childish and dumb is equal to falling into Yana's trap, because Floyd is designed as an extremely smart and somewhat of sadistic character. It's so important to know that he's way more than just a chaotic eel or an playful idiot, Floyd literally has anything needed to be ranked among the most dangerous characters of the game, his personality along side his magic and genius can be quite deadly.

•Sebek Zigvolt: To be honest, many of us are just doing him dirty. Look, it's true that Sebek's often caught praising and talking about Malleus but please do not forget that Sebek as well has got his very own personality! Associating Malleus with whatever he says or does (especially through fanfictions) is somehow fading his character because most of the things I get to read or hear about him involves Malleus. Come on! This is Sebek that we're talking about, not Malleus! I understand that talking about Malleus is legit something he often does but while you're writing a fanfic, please remember that Sebek has got hundreds of features and personality manners to talk about other than talking about his "Waka sama". So instead of just focusing on his Malleus appreciation habit, try to get to know his very own features and personality! In many of fanon interpretations, Sebek is bound to doing nothing but talking about Malleus and only him which is pretty unfair! We should all take some time to talk about Sebek himself, not his obsession with Lilia or Malleus.

•Riddle Rosehearts: I understand where this is coming from, but I want to see something more than an angry Riddle shouting and screaming about the importance of rules and harshly forcing others into following them whenever I read something that involves Riddle. I see how being angry and turning as red as a tomato is his rather famous feature but we shouldn't ignore everything else about hum because of it. Other than his background and mentionable talents and abilities as the greatest dorm leader Heartslabyul's history, keep this in mind that Riddle did decide to try and change his way of leadership and reduce his obsession with rules after his overblot.

Characters that can also belong to this group: Vil Schoenheit, Rook Hunt, Kalim Al Asim, Silver, Epel Felmier

Group C: Ignorance/Lack of information

The reason with this group is obvious, we need to talk about them more often! While they're all great characters with interesting designs and personalities, it's somehow rare to see anyone doing a proper analysis of their characters, either because of not going through their details or stories, or even going through them but not finding anything special.

•Ace Trappola: Both Deuce and Ace are characters who have appeared through all of the chapters so far, which means that we've had the chance to get to know them better than any other character in the game! But their fanon interpretations are pretty simple and sometimes, boring. Most of us don't even realize that we're mischaracterizing them-! I often see them being pictured as either stupid or loud and troublesome. Ace for example, got a really strong plot about how he'd go through a relationship and his past experience in the ghost marriage, which can be a strong guide to how we should picture Ace in reader inserts, but sadly we're just sticking to fanon interpretations and don't give his personality the detail and cannon depth he deserves. Let's note that he can be quite evil, smart, logical and unpredictable too at the time.

•Deuce Spade: Deuce's case is pretty similar to Ace. I'm not saying that he's a totally different one from how the fandom is characterizing him, but come on, Deuce isn't just a chicken dummy! We've learned a lot about his relationship with his mother, his past life, his relationship with his close friends, his hobbies and his will to become a great magician so there's a lot we can say about him! Instead of just sticking to his clumsiness and sometimes, stupidity it's better to consider those features and details to describe him. Not only will it make us have more of a cannon interpretation on Deuce, but it'll also inspire us to create newer and more creative content for him!

•Silver: Look, while many of us love this sleepy guy, we need to understand that he isn't just a sleeping beauty or Lilia's cute son! Let's admit something, we're facing a lack of Silver content and even as we go through most of the existing Silver fanfics and content, it either has something to do with his sleeping issues or his relationship with idia, maybe some arguments with Sebek as well but it's rare to see anyone talking about anything else than these when it comes to Silver. His relationship with Lilia and Malleus, he way he appears in others' side stories, how he handles his tasks and the way Malleus and Lilia describe him is telling us that there's a LOT about him which we often ignore!

•Trey Clover: It's true that the cannon Trey isn't that different from the fanon one, but I can tell that the fanon Trey lacks quite a few of the cannon features. We're giving him a rather solid and sometimes boring personality of Heartslabyul's calm and collected mum who treats everyone nicely regardless of how reckless or annoying or rebellious they are. But the real Trey does express annoyance and uncomfortablitiy from time to time, he can even be quite sarcastic. If you come to get a close look, you'll see that Trey isn't always as nice as he seems to be.

•Ruggie Bucchi: I genuinely adore Ruggie's personality design, especially how he mostly comes of as a mysterious troublemaker but at the same time, he's being a tiny family man on the inside. Watching how he can be quite reckless toward other students in NRC (especially the first years) and on the other hand, be a pretty caring and protective sibling who really loves and cares about his poor family and is working his hardest to support them really brings the tears of joy to my eyes. Ruggie's story has got a lot to tell and this interesting design and personality really deserves more attention and supporters!

•Jack Howl: It's true that Jack doesn't really get mischaracterized , but he deserves to be talked about more often! Most of the fandom captured his personality really good and I can feel his tsundere-ish and protective vibes through most of the fanfics that involve him. He's got a rather calm and collected nature which gives him a more balanced personality compared to the rest of the characters, and can make it easier to understand the cannon Jack. He used to get really mischaracterized back in twst's pre-release, but after the game was released and we got to know the cannon Jack, most of those misunderstandings were solved. Perhaps the only thing that I wish to mentioned more often are the adorable details and his background, especially his relationship with his family and siblings.

Characters that can also belong to his group: Silver, Deuce Spade, Ace Trappola, Rook Hunt

Group D: The healing type (Iyashikei)

Look, the cannon interpretation isn't always the happiest or the sweetest. This group usually get mischaracterized because their fanon interpretation is presenting something better, something that more fans would accept and love. 'Softening extremely dark and unapproachable personalities' or 'spreading adorable and wholesome headcanons' are two common ways of the healing type. Characters with extremely bitter personalities usually belong to this group, because their stories can be too sad for the fandom, so many decide to go for a softer yet untrue way of characterizing them, which is sometimes good but going too far with the softening process often leads to creating a character that's nothing like the original.

•Leona Kingscholar: While I was working on my Leona analysis, I came to understand why some fans prefer the fanon Leona over the cannon Leona. Cannon Leona is quite dark and unapproachable, and you'll find his background and personality in general quite painful and sometimes depressing if you try to study the cannon Leona. Within all of the twst characters, he's got the darkest design therefore it can be quite hard for fans to accept his cannon interpretation. That's why some try to give him more of an affectionate and soft nature to make his personality seem less painful to go through. This sometimes create a totally wrong interpretation that goes against everything that the cannon Leona is, but at the same time many fans agree that cannon Leona on the other hand is just too dark to accept. We can tell that this fandom's favorite Leona is a balance of cannon and fanon Leonas, something neither too dark nor to childish and wholesome.

•Ortho Shroud: There isn't much we know about Ortho and his background, and I can't say that he's being directly mischaracterized either. Sometimes all we have to use in order to capture his personality are the fan- theories, which can really complicate stuff. Best way to know him is by paying enough of attention to his voice lines and hidden details, but it can end up being quite dark if you dig too deep- His background with Idia isn't directly mentioned but there are some dark details hiding through the story that can seem quite scary when you actually think about them, therefore many of the fans decide to ignore those details, and since there isn't much of Ortho content (mostly fanfiction) either, many (including me) decided not to mention anything about those dark aspects...

•Epel Felmier: Cannon Epel is quite different from the fanon Epel. Not saying that Epel is a meanie because he surely does have pretty cute and adorable aspects but the cannon can Epel can be quite reckless, mean and rude at the time while the fanon Epel is always described as a shy, cute boy(which is exactly what the cannon Epel hates to be described as). Going through his ghost marriage stories and voice lines, we can realize that Epel's rather bad with romance, and for now, he doesn't really seem to be interested in any love-related issues either. Writing reader inserts especially can be really hard if you're going to stick with the cannon Epel, therefore many choose to use the fanon Epel instead, a cuter and softer Epel who's quite acceptive and approval of being in love. A considerable majority of fans prefer this soft and cuter Epel, and this is why Epel mostly gets mischaracterized in reader inserts.

Characters that can also belong to this group: Malleus Draconia, Azul Ashengrotto, Cater Diamond, Ace Trappola, Lilia Vanrouge

Group E: Mischaracterized on main

Spreading false headcanons, not paying enough of attention to official details and simplifying complicated personalities are often counted as general ways of mischaracterization. Unlike the previous groups, this group doesn't really have a proper excuse for their mischaracterization, especially as we see some fans are being attacked and offended by some who tend mischaracterize characters in this way.

•Vil Schoenheit: We previously talked about Vil and how there's a pile of wrong information about him spread all over the fandom, from the one saying that he's trans and his pronouns are she/her (Many fans were attacked and forced to use She/Her for Vil) to the ones that are picturing him as a selfish character who cares about no one but his very own beauty, and is bullying Epel just because he envies Epel for being more beautiful than him. Look, regarding his relationship with Epel I must say that he's trying is hardest to make Epel be more mindful of his appearance and manners, he cares to help each and every around him look their best and isn't just focusing on his very own beauty. I meant to add him in group B because how many consider him to be obsessed with beauty and ignore everything else about him like his remarkable skills in leadership and other abilities in general, but considering the great amount of wrong information that is being spread around the fandom and is causing misunderstandings and arguments, I thought it'd be better to put him in this group.

•Kalim al asim: One sentence, four words: He is NOT stupid! While I insist that everyone in the fandom is free to have their personal interpretation and ideas regarding the characters and their personalities, keep this is mind that it's okay as long as it doesn't offend anyone else! How does it feel when Kalim stans are just watching others making fun of their favorite and calling him useless and stupid? Even worse, how does it feel when they're being told reckless stuff like: "Hey, you know that your favorite is the dumbest character in the game?" Let me clear 3 points right here: 1)Even if one's favorite is stupid, you do not have the right to insult them because of it even if you mean it as a joke 2)Nope Kalim is not stupid, generosity and caring for everyone around him with genuine kindness makes him a good and pure person, not a stupid one. 3) People who are saying that he's stupid because of not doing that great in school are just as funny as those who told all of us that you won't be any successful if you don't get good grades in exams. Lmao, dude this is the 21st century.

Characters that can also belong to this group: Floyd Leech, Epel Felmier

Well, I guess that's all? I couldn't talk much about any of them otherwise this would've gotten too long- So I just put a small intro of how each of the boys often gets mischaracterized instead. Okay it's awfully late lol I leave this now-

#Twst #twisted wonderland #Twst x reader #twisted wonderland x reader #malleus draconia #Azul Ashengrotto #Vil Schoenheit #riddle rosehearts #Kalim al asim #idia Shroud #leona kingscholar #jade leech #Floyd leech #epel felmier #rook hunt #Sebek Zigvolt #lilia Vanrouge #disney twisted wonderland #ruggie bucchi #Jack Howl #ace trappola #deuce spade #cater diamond #Jamil viper #ortho shroud #silver #Character analysis #OKAY IT'S 5 AM I'M TIRED AS HECK

[theepisceswriter]

Jjk dudes promising just the tip but breaking it like 2 seconds later please!

Bestie I know you wanted multiple JJK characters, and I’ll probably still give it you, but I had something similar to this in my notes with Toji, so I decided to make a little ficlet with him instead surrounding this idea....kinda.

Synopsis: Your toxic baby daddy Toji hits you up after not being heard from for months with that smirk on his face that you just can’t resist.

TW: Dub con might apply here but I did my best to make reader aware that Toji was 99.99% lying abt just the tip and knew abt his intentions from the start, but I guess you can interpret it how you want, fembodied!reader, Toji is a trigger warning on his own, manipulation, implied that you have a child together, pregnancy mention briefly, breeding kink, toxic relationship, 18+, MINORS DNI

Word Count: 1.7k

Your heart dropped to your stomach when you flipped your phone over to see ‘TOJI WOJI 🥺🧸🥰....is FaceTiming you.’ Whatever he was calling for couldn’t have been important or even worth your time listening to at all. It was edging on 12 am in the morning, the ungodly hours of the night where sin ran rampant and thoughts became loud as the world around you silenced, a concoction of emotions that meant nothing good. Especially when the last time you received a phone call from him this late it resulted in a booty call that led to you pregnant with a child that Toji barely came to see. Still, you found your thumb lingering over the green answer button and faintly tapping on it, hoping that it wouldn’t go through, but instead, you were met with the sight of Toji. The raven locks on his hair poking out like always, the same old scar over his lip, and the same basic black tee decorating his body. He looked exactly the same as you had last seen him except the outside lights of the world illuminated his face as he appeared to be in what you assumed was the driver’s seat of his car. You felt your heart clench in your chest, memories of your relationship before he up and dipped on you clouding your mind to the point where you were damn near in tears wondering why it had to end so abruptly; why he left you the way he did. But those tears were soon pushed back by with an anger that had you ready to hang up in his face. You were so conflicted when it came to him, always had been.

“What do you want Toji?”

“You. I miss you, y/n. I’ve been thinking a lot about you and our family.” God, here he went with this bullshit again. Just when you thought the cycle was over he always popped up again, little white lies about missing you and his child so he could find solace in your bed for a week or two before dipping like he always did. Apparently, he wanted to come in and talk things out, just talk and try to redeem your relationship. You knew he was just telling you everything you wanted to hear with an ulterior motive behind his words, but you couldn’t resist that grin on his lips and the compliments of how nice you looked even in your nightclothes.

He was too good at this because the next thing you knew he was sitting on the couch in your living room with his legs manspreading out and trying to inch his way closer to where you sat on the opposite end. Your arms crossed and staring daggers into him while all he did was look at you as fondly as he could, as if he were genuinely envisioning a future with you and the child he left you within this moment.

“What the fuck do you really want Toji?” Your voice had a bite to it that left him smirking at your attitude and digging deeper into his mind to pull out lines he knew you wanted to hear, lines he knew would get him that satisfactory ending of you giving into his sweet talk and bold advances as he scooted a couple of inches closer to you. So close that his hand was able to rest on the part of your left thigh that the shorts you were wearing left exposed, gently kneading the area with his palm.

“You know you look good right?” You scoffed and rolled your eyes ready to push his hand off of you but his other hand blocked you from doing so, bringing both of your arms over your head and adjusting the two of you so that you were now smushed between him and the cushioning of the couch. As mad as you wanted to be at him you just couldn’t. He had indestructible shackles placed over your heart that tugged with each time he forced himself back into your life just like how they were now.

Flashbacks of the night you got pregnant suddenly came flashing before your eyes. The vivid imagery of the way he had your legs folded to the point where your ankles were by your ears as he pounded into you ruthlessly from above, hand around your neck tightening your airways and making tears form in your eyes. Blissed dazed out in a space that was too similar to subspace, too out of it to even respond to the “I’m going to fuck a baby into you and how ever many I want after that. Use you like the slut you are and breed you so good.” That had left his lips at that moment. 

Which is exactly what he did and here he was again, the two of you in the very same spot shimmied out of your clothes, and him ready to fuck a baby into you again once more.

“I just want you.” When he says it like that, voice soft and laced with what you hope to be some form of honesty, it’s easy to pretend like this is okay in a relationship—if that’s what you could even call this. That if you squinted your eyes hard enough and looked past Toji’s flaws that all this pain and suffering he put you through in the end would be worth it. Your feelings changing for him with each entrance and exit he made in your life. Always wondering what the two of you could’ve been if he was a better man. You had to be soulmates, there was no other explanation for why you kept coming back to each other. At least not any logical one that you could think of.

All the logical thinking left your mind the moment he pressed his lips to yours, those oh so soft lips that you missed and craved badly on nights when other men’s lips couldn’t contort to yours the way that he did.

This is exactly what he wanted—his gentle caresses and touch to distract you from the real reason why he was here. Which was only to use your body how he wanted before he went on with his life, not thinking about you again until he got horny once more. And it was the touch of his cold hands against your skin, working its way up to grope at your enlarged breast, that brought you back to this realization. Lips moving off of his immediately and backing up against the arm of the couch. Your lips opened in protest, only to be cut off by him speaking up first.

“You don’t understand how much I’ve missed your touch—your body. Do you know how much gorgeous you’ve become with a post-pregnancy body? Just looking at you is driving me crazy.” He continues on with his compliments. Each one hitting you straight into your heart and going up to your head to shush those thoughts that scream at you to not fall for his trap, but instead, you fell right into it. Allowing his to resume his position on top of you.

“We don’t even have to do much. Just the tip, I promise. I just miss the feeling of you around me so much.” It’s the first time this whole night that you were able to recognize one of his lies as just that, a bold-faced lie. You knew how he got when he was in the mood, how dark and clouded his mind got with lust to the point where he was a whole different Toji. But you let him believe that you believed that, a small okay leaving your lips along with a nod as you accepted his lips on yours once more; his tongue slipping past your lips to find yours, gently sucking on it and letting out a light moan at the familiarity of it. He didn’t even have to use his hands to guide his cock to your entrance because he was just that big, breaking away from the kiss to look at where the two of you connected and using his hips to guide his erect tip inside of the warmth of your cunt. For a minute, maybe even less, he kept his “promise” of inserting only his tip, but the feeling of your walls gripping on only the tip of his cock was enough for him to go crazy. Something on the verge of a whimper and a moan leaving his lips. He needed more of you and he was going to have more of you. Disregarding his promise like you predicted, he ruthlessly bucked his hips up against yours, his whole length entering you with ease from the build-up of your arousal that had taken the physical form of wetness.

“Pussy so wet just for me that you swallowed me whole.” He tried to pin it on you and if you weren’t stuffed to the brim with him right now maybe you would’ve rolled your eyes and told him how dumb he sounded, but you went along with it. He didn’t even give you time to adjust to him because even after months without touching each other he knew the pussy that he trained with constant fucking every week would remember his shape and form, adjusting your legs so they were folded up against your stomach and immediately getting to work.

“I might have to put another baby in you if this is what post-pregnancy pussy feels like. You feel so good and right around my cock, baby.”

Each thrust was like heaven on earth, his cock curved in just the right spots to his every sensitive area inside of you that left your toes curling and a faint white creamy line begin to form at the base of his cock. It had been so long since you’ve had a nice good fucking. You couldn’t remember the last time you felt so full, so good to the point where tears formed around the edges of your eyes. No one, not even the toys you had spent $100’s on tucked away in your closet, came close to the affect that he had on your body.

He always knew just what to do and just what to say to have you crumbling underneath him. One of your favorite but also most disliked quality that he possessed.

#I know you’re probably wondering where the child is at and I’m going to assume that it’s at someone else’s house rn #I didn’t feel that was too important to mention in the story lmao #Asks. #Spicy. #jjk x reader #jjk smut #jujustu kaisen smut #jujustu kaisen x reader #toji fushiguro smut #toji fushiguro x reader #toji fushiguro

[keepingsecretstokeepyoutk]

(Warning:this will be a serious, downer, post. And of course this is all hypothetical, my interpretation, etc.)

This week, with all of the attention that All To Well has generated (very well deserved attention and accolades) I’ve been thinking a lot about the speculation that if Taylor came out, it would be fine, no one would care (a sentiment even many Kaylors have expressed in recent months).

It’s hard to believe that after all of the ways that the gp and media have managed to twist her into a villain, that they wouldn’t find a way to do it with this too. But aside from the gp, her haters, and the media, I think the biggest concern by far, would be the reaction of her fans (or a good portion at least).

Taylor is known for having such a close relationship with her fans, not just because of her secret sessions or her paying for fans medical bills, tuition, showing up at weddings, sending Christmas gifts, etc. But also because her music has raised them. And as many have spoken about, especially recently with the rereleases, her music has given teen and young women a voice that we’ve never had prior. She has been so unapologetic with her emotions and female experiences while growing up, that it has made us feel unabashed about embracing our own. It has been a big part of many of our journeys in unlearning the misogyny we unavoidably internalized while being raised in this world.

A big part of that being-raised-female experience, for straight and bi women, is dating men, and the way that patriarchy and misogyny shapes those experiences with love and sex and dating. This is why It’s been on my mind. The response to All Too Well’s film and new lyrics, etc, has been intense. The narrative shown has been deeply, deeply cathartic, validating, and arguably a spiritual experience for so many women who have been through a relationship like the one that has been portrayed by the public narrative of the song.

Personally I think this is a beautiful silver lining of her being closeted at this time: that she can essentially be an “ally” to opposite-sex attracted women, and create art (most likely inspired by seeing these kinds of abusive relationships play out around her in the entertainment industry, and being a support and witness for her friends, etc) that gives voice to a deeply young-woman experience, just as she always has. And I would hope that her other fans could come to see it this way, that she made lemonade out of her glass closet. That her connection with her fans, even when perceived as being deepened by false narratives that she didn’t immediately disavow, has always been genuine and only ever grown out of her love for every single one of us and out of a deep longing to sit in our pain with us, even if it wasn’t exactly her pain.

But I’m worried that not everyone will see it that way.

I’ve always thought that the way the gp and media and fans would react to her coming out would be calling her a liar, that they would exclaim betrayal, paint her as deceitful and fake and emotionally manipulative of her fans who so deeply connected to her break up songs that were supposedly about men.

And that was before this week.

Assuming that JG is indeed a beard (not a real relationship amongst other beards), if that were to be revealed, the emotional reaction from the women who have found healing and solace and validation in that film and that song, is going to be strong. And I would imagine that many of them would feel betrayed, and since it would be a lot of people, that anger could easily whip itself into a frenzy that resulted in a public back lash as strong as the last dark days.

(She knows this. That’s why she wrote mirror ball — about being all different versions of herself, to please all the different people who NEED her to be something specific to them.)

Meanwhile, the conservative parents of girls who went to her secret sessions will be panicking that their daughters were alone with a lesbian. The GP will be saying she had no right to be upset about the way the media talked about her dating history when she fabricated it all anyways. For money. They’ll call her greedy and manipulative and now they’ll think they have proof of her “playing the victim” because she and JG “never even dated!” She’ll be painted again as a snake.

They won’t see her all too well rerelease as her way of giving her fans the catharsis and the validation and the representation that they deserved as women who often have their emotional experiences dismissed. That she cast Sadie and Dylan to a responsible role model, to undo the romanticization of age gap relationships that her songs and bearding stunts may have unintentionally contributed to in the past. They won’t think to see it as similar to the song Happiness - and emotionally deep and intense song informed by seeing her friends go through something that she hasn’t experienced but that she can give voice to with her art. That she was essentially being an ally to straight women in a way that she hopes they will be to her.

This is why, it wouldn’t shock me, and I would never judge her, if she never came out. Because more than anything, her fans matter to her. She would never want them to feel betrayed or mislead or disconnected from her and especially from her music, from her lyrics. Her words mean so much to so many people. And she may never be able or willing to risk that.

(Of course, she could come out as bi or unlabeled and say not a single thing about her songs that have been attributed more heavily to men, and maybe that would go ok, and maybe she would be very happy with that. I hope that could work for her. But people I’m assuming would still speculate on which bfs were real and which weren’t, which rumored female lovers were more than just rumors etc, and that may spark some of the same discussions as above. And besides, I just have a feeling that if Taylor was going to come out she would commit to making it a move that will pave the way for other closeted entertainers/sportsmen/etc and thus she would want to expose the homophobic higher ups who insist on bearding, hiding your same sex relationships, etc. Otherwise she would feel like it wasn’t enough and wasn’t worth the half truths)

I could literally talk about this forever but yeah, that’s the gist of it.

#gaylor #taylor swift #bearding #evelyn hugo #gaylor swift #red taylors version

[becomingbts]

Time heals (sometimes) - Teaser 1

Summary: 6 years ago, (Y/N) thought that she was finally taking her life into her hands, leaving behind a toxic and abusive relationship with a man who taught her she’d never be worthy of love. However, it became hard to ignore his words when she met her seven soulmates who rejected her without even giving her a chance to prove herself. It took (Y/N) 3 years to realize that it wouldn’t be her end. She would live on to prove them all wrong; she would become what they all thought she wasn’t: someone worthy of love. And as she stands proudly on the stage, under the burning spotlights and the applause and the cries of the delirious crowd, she feels alive. Alive, just like the bond she believed to be broken.

Pairings: Y/N x OT7

GENRE: Soulmate AU!, Idol Y/NAU!, semi social-media AU!, ANGST (mainly), fluff, romance, maybe smut in the series.

Ask or comment to be tagged!

Warnings: The series is going to be heavy with a lot of personal experiences mixed into the fiction, so this is going to be kind of therapeutic for me. Please, consider not reading the series if you are not comfortable with: abandonment issues, anxiety, panic attacks, depression, self-harm (not descriptive and only part of MC’s past), suicide thoughts (in the past), toxic behavior, toxic and abusive relationship (in the past), depreciating self-talk and low self-esteem, a lot of curse, physical and mental pain, near death experience situation (in the past), and maybe smut scenes (happy ending though, but it will probably be quite the ride).

NOTE: I was thinking of “Moonchild” and for some reasons, some memories I’d prefer to have forgotten came back to my mind and instead of making a full-blown panic attack like I used to, I thought that it would make a great plot if I mingled that with a soulmate and idol verse and that’s how I started going into it. This is going to be loaded with personal experiences, even if they’ll probably be a bit differently explained compared to what I experienced. Despite the heavy themes and many warnings, I hope you guys will like it. I think I really needed to write it. It will be a semisocial media AU!, because I like the idea of being to write some of their conversations through texts. However, I do plan on fully writing most of it. Though, you’ll have some updates about their social medias as I will update their profiles soon after you see this. I will probably mix a lot of different media for this story such as songs written and produced by myself. I’ll upload for real MC’s EP. So expect a lot for this story. Please take well care, feedback is always very warmly welcomed, it helps me to write for real. If you need to talk to someone, my dms are always opened and if you really don’t feel well, please call urgency numbers.

Thank you for reading,

-Dolly

"And we will close our night show with the most awaited segment! The audience jumped during the commercial break, it's amazing how many people just joined us! Welcome to our interview segment and especially, welcome and thank you so much for being with us Moon!”

"Of course, thank you for having me on your radio show." 

"Thank you for coming! I have to mention that this is your very first interview with another media than your usual personal platforms like Vlive, YouTube, or Instagram, so we are honored to be the first ones to greet you! Do you plan on making more activities outside your personal schedule for the promotion of your new album?" 

"If I may be honest, not really. I'm the most comfortable in my own safe zone and I tend to try not to get out of it too often. It might close some doors to me but I'm comfortable with my fans that way. However, I often listen to this radio show and a lot of my fans were enthusiastic about that so I thought: why not."

"Ah, thank you so much, it means a lot! Your fans are indeed a strong community and they support you whether you go to TV shows or not. Besides, you've been a very active artist on social media and your whole career started on YouTube and SoundCloud before you signed to your current agency. We have to congratulate you on your journey! It's barely been two years but here you are, with your second EP 'People'! Congratulations on the release!" 

"Thank you very much."

“For our listeners who might not know who Moon is, I’m going to introduce her to you: Moon, your real name is (Y/N), you were born on August 4th, 1998, Incheon and your mother was American so you pursued your studies in America. You have been taking online classes since the start of your career at the HULT, university of Florida, and even recently got your Business Bachelor, now aiming for a Ph.D. You started your journey on Youtube, uploading covers and vlogs until you finally started producing your own songs, releasing them on Soundcloud. You started gaining a lot of followers; thus, you started on other social media such as Twitter or Instagram. One year ago, you release your first EP called ‘BALANCE’  which is the reason why the music label BigHit reached to you and asked you if you wanted to sign with them. Did I get everything right?”

“You are. It feels like you know my life better than I do.”

"Ah not at all, but thank you, I am glad that I didn’t say something wrong! Would you mind sharing the concept of this EP? Many of your fans probably already know but maybe some of our daily listeners might not!" 

"Of course. As you said, 'People' is my second EP, yet the first to be studio recorded. Signing with BigHit is a big step in my career and it created a lot of changes, hence I decided to focus on the people I have met, stayed with, became close to, or detached myself from… This is dedicated to the people who changed my life, whether they intended to or not. It could be interpreted as my social life diary in a way." 

"I see, many of your fans have said that the album held a very distinct duality, with a bright and a much darker side that made quite the storm on social media. ‘Y/N our Moon’ and ‘MOONISBACK’ trended for a few nights on Twitter. Do you have anything you'd like to say about that?" 

"I guess it was a surprise because this mini-album is really raw and uncensored. I didn't try to sugarcoat it nor to romanticize my experiences. I hope it brings comfort to people who haven't been feeling well. Because I think that it’s always easy to say that it's going to be okay to someone who’s not feeling well. Everything doesn’t suddenly become okay. And it's fine to be hurting, you can learn to live with this pain and move on while still hoping for better days. There is no end to hopes, and this is why my EP has a brighter side to it. Not everything is always a vast cold ocean. Sometimes, there are small or big waves that come crashing into our universe and they form something that we couldn't have imagined. They bring a little piece of sunshine in life and it helps to move on. So I hope that people who are struggling know that, despite how insignificant I might be, there is a person that understands and can relate to their struggles. I hope it can comfort them, even just slightly, to know that they are not alone." 

"That's a beautiful way to put it."

"Ah, thank you." 

"I have to ask because I'm really curious and I’m definitely not the only one: a lot of your fans have been theorizing about who could your title track ‘TIME’ be about? I have to ask you on the behalf of everyone. Is it okay for me to break the mystery?" 

"Time is a track that shouldn’t have made it to the EP. It’s a bit like a fit of personal anger that I didn’t know I needed to let out.”

“Your anger was definitely heard and understood. People have been curious about the addressee of the song especially because of the line ‘maybe it’s time I finally let go of you’. So can you tell us who is it about?” 

“Uh...Time was written for my seven soulmates who rejected me years ago." 

"Seven!?"

"Yeah, it's a lot I know.”

“Is that why you have covered your soul mark with this tattoo on your arm? Netizens talked about it a lot; normally idols tend to cover their arm from the public eyes to avoid for their soulmates’ names to be known, but instead, you were proudly showing your tattooed arm, fully covering what might be under the ink. Many people assumed that it meant that you didn’t have a soulmate at all.” 

“Well, I decided to cover the mark because there was no reason for me to keep it without hurting myself. I decided that I have been hurt enough to let myself take a rest. I didn’t see the point in hiding my arm either, I’m proud of my tattoo, I mean; it’s really a beautiful piece in my opinion. But to answer the assumptions, I don’t consider that I have soulmates anymore, hence why the tattoo as well." 

"This is really a heartbreaking story, it must have been extremely hard. Breaking a soul bond is immensely dangerous, my link with my husband already itches when I spend the day away from him, so seven soul bonds? It must have been terrible." 

"It was, but the most important is where I am now. I'm not lingering on that anymore because they made their choices and I thus made mine. I just hope that they all are healthy and happy where they are." 

"I have to say I'm really impressed (Y/N)-shi, you really have a delicate and caring soul. I probably wouldn't be able to have such soft words about your soulmates had I been in your shoes."

"I think living the actual experience made me reflect on myself a lot. I'm comfortable where I am now, I'm able to do music and make what I love. I have nothing to complain about, I'm surrounded by lovely and supportive fans, I have the best manager I could have ever hoped for and a warm and healthy family. I don't need more on my side." 

"I'm glad you are happy then. Many of your fans have pointed out it's really hard to make you smile and some wonder if you are happy, especially after the release of ‘TIME’, I don’t blame some of your fans for being worried." 

"Ahhh, is smiling the only way to prove that we are happy? I believe my words are usually a bit more impactful than my facial expressions. I have to admit that I don't often smile, it's not a bad thing, at least I don't think so, but I just don't feel the need to smile when I don’t feel like it. Besides, I get shy easily when I expose my emotions too much." 

"It's hard to imagine you being shy but at the same time now that I have you in front of me, our listeners cannot see you, but I definitely feel that you have a very shy and reserved aura despite the energy you give off when you are on stage. It’s not unfriendly either, but you’re just very soft-spoken and quiet in everything you do. Like when you came in, I barely heard you entering at all; you’re just silently making your way without a fuss, it’s really endearing, to be honest."

"Ah... I’ve been told that my stage persona and the ‘me’ in real life were two different entities but I don’t really think it’s true. I'm extremely introverted and it doesn't really mix well with the stage. So I just put it on the side for the people who came to see me and deserve to see more than a 24 years old woman who has troubles speaking without stuttering in front of other people." 

"You stutter when you have to speak in front of other people?" 

"Sometimes it happens when I’m nervous, and I’m very often nervous. Like right now, I’m extremely nervous. But it's something I'm working on." 

"Well it's definitely paying off because I couldn't sense that you were nervous at all, just very calm and soft, but I wouldn’t be able to imagine you being nervous enough to stutter."

"A lot of artists actually have stage fright, most of them just don't want to admit it because it doesn't sound sexy when you tell your fans you're actually shaking before going up there for the show." 

"This is very true, but it's refreshing to hear it from someone who actually lives through that rather than fan theories." 

"That's understandable." 

"Our time is coming to the end, do you have anything you would like to add before we sadly get our mics taken away?" 

"Oh uhm, everyone, my new mini-album 'People' came out very recently and yet it already received a lot of love so I want to thank you for that. This EP was a very personal project and I was worried about how it would be welcomed but you all made me realize that I have nothing to fear because we'll always find someone who can relate to our stories. As long as I can help even one person with my songs, then it's enough for me. Thank you for listening to me and my voice. I hope we'll be able to meet soon. Love you my fans and non-fans as well, please take well care of yourselves in those times. Be careful and stay safe. Wear your mask!" 

“Thank you so much Moon for being with us tonight. Our time was short but I really enjoyed it, I hope our listeners were able to feel that very warm presence of yours through the mic. ‘Give Me A Song’ of Moon’s EP ‘People’ will now be playing and we will see each other tomorrow night with IU for the release of her new album LILAC. Take care!”

Comments or Ask to be tagged!

Uploaded : 08/04/2021

#bts #bts fanfiction #bts fanfic #bts fluff #bts angst #bts smut #bts ot7 #ot7 #ot7 x reader #ot7 x you #magicshopnet #author: dolly #verse: idol #verse: soulmate #kim seokjin #min yoongi #Jung HoSeok #kim namjoon #park jimin #kim taehyung #jeon jungkook #kim seokjin x reader #min yoongi x reader #jung hoseok x reader #kim namjoon x reader #park jimin x reader #kim taehyung x reader #jeon jungkook x reader #seokjin x reader #yoongi x reader

[wolf-queer-discourse]

Adventures in Aphobia #1

So I was scrolling through Tumblr the other day (a regrettable mistake as always), and I had the great pleasure of seeing this joyous post.

*deep breath*

Not gonna lie, posts like this make me real pissed. Pissed because the person who posted this exists in a space where they feel comfortable enough to post this online. Pissed because these posts are so common and often face little backlash. And pissed because there’s nothing better than allosexuals condescendingly explaining to asexual people why they’re dirty attention whores who invent their own oppression. Ace people deserve to be defended against this horseshit. Young people see these posts, and it’s extremely damaging to have your identity be nothing more than fuel for people in discourse to mock you and demand you bled in order for them to notice your pain.

Anger aside, many people do not see why this post is wrong, so why is it? Let’s unpack this clusterfuck of bigotry:

“would love to see substantive evidence of systematic “aphobia” that isn’t actually just misogyny, toxic masculinity, or rpe culture.”

God damn, we are not mincing our words here XD. A few things: systematic in bold, which tells you if you do not make a blood sacrifice on the altar of queer pain you will not be taken seriously. Potential nitpick, but systemic and systematic are not the same thing. I believe systemic is the word they’re looking for. Systematic implies a lot more intentionality that can be hard to prove. Systemic merely means that systems, in their current state, do aphobic things, which they absolutely do.

“Aphobia” in quotes is absolutely rich. Not only will this person refuse to acknowledge systemic aphobia, which is only one type, but this poster casts clear doubt upon the mere concept of aphobia in and of itself. We love to see it.

There’s a lot to unpack here. The statement, as clearly condescending as intended, is sort of correct, though it doesn’t mean a whole lot. Systemic oppression is about the systems in a society (government, healthcare, etc) discriminating against people. Systemic oppression is not bigotry faced on a person-to-person level. In short, systematic oppression is something a person experiences in their overall life, while personal discrimination is experienced on a personal level by people who are not singularly in control of the systems. This post boils down the negative comments ace people face into being called “weird”, which is an understatement for sure, but calling a gay person weird isn’t systemic oppression either.

It’s still bad and discriminatory.

This is such a snotty way to dismiss aphobia as some mere, insignificant comment with no meaning as if it doesn’t reinforce society’s painful aphobic views in the same way casual homophobic comments reinforce heteronormativity and society’s hostility toward gay people.

Ace people face discrimination in healthcare, most notably, which is systemic discrimination, but the systemic discrimination of asexuals really ought to be its own post if I’m to nosedive into it. Even if ace people faced no systemic discrimination, it wouldn’t make this point anymore correct. Discrimination is a perfectly valid reason to feel disregarded by society, and often only ace people are denied the right to feel this way and are instead gaslit into admitting what they face is no big deal and they’re just making it up for attention.

The experience of being pressured to have sex when you’re allo vs ace is very different. The vast majority of allo people do not plan to be celibate their whole lives. Many ace people do not want to have sex, ever. “Waiting for sex” in much of western society and in Christianity is seen as pure and honorable. Yet being asexual and never wanting sex is seen as a deviant disorder and people are accused of robbing their partner of sex forever.

There’s really a specific flavor of sexual pressure that is unique to ace people. Sex being to “fix” someone or because they “just need to try it”.

In this respect, aphobic sexual pressure is better compared to that faced by gay people and lesbians. Lesbians especially often can face this same struggle, men pressuring them to have sex because they think lesbians just need to “try it” or to “fix them”. I can imagine this poster would have no issue acknowledging lesbophobia being the root of lesbians coerced into sex with men, yet she does not give ace people the same.

Imagine if someone said (and knowing our fucked world, someone probably has): “Lesbophobia doesn’t exist. It’s just misogyny. Straight women are coerced into sex too!”

It’d be pathetic bullshit. Toxic masculinity, misogyny and many other issues can all tangle into combined messes with other forms of bigotry. Lesbophobia is an experience that deserves to be recognized apart from misogyny, even if the two are linked. Please stop erasing ace people’s experiences with this when it’s not the same thing.

Honestly, though, this post, as trashy as it is, if anything, is perhaps, really asking: Is there any type of aphobic experience that’s inherently exclusive to ace people?

I still wager to go say, yes, yes there is, but I must make an important point first:

Most experiences of queer discrimination are not limited to queer people.

Homophobia and transphobia are both experienced by cishets in certain instances. Feminine straight men can be victims of homophobic harassment. This does not disprove the fact that it’s homophobia just because a straight man is the victim of it. A tall cis woman with broad shoulders and a lower voice may be the victim of transphobic remarks or comments. The basis of these comments is rooted in transphobia, however, so the fact that the victim is cis does not erase the transphobia.

People who argue that experiences ace people complain about can be experienced by allosexuals are not poking a legitimate hole in doing this. Certain experiences related to aphobia can and are experienced by allosexuals. If you do not acknowledge this, then homophobia and transphobia aren’t real because cishet people have sometimes experienced them.

Despite cishets sometimes experiencing queerphobia, most of us acknowledge that their experience of that bigotry, however unfortunate, is not the same as that experienced by actual queer people. It’d be quite homophobic for a feminine straight man to claim he knew just as much about the gay experience as an actual gay man. Similarly, when allosexual people relate experiences that were rooted in aphobia, it’s overstepping a line when they claim asexual discrimination isn’t real because they experienced elements of it too.

Cishet (cishet including allosexuals) people do not experience their doctors telling them their sexuality might be a disorder or caused by trauma. Allo queer people can experience this with their sexualities too.

“using sex appeal to sell products is misogyny, it is not engineered to gross sex-repulsed people, it is meant to objectify women.”

This is a strawman thinner than my last nerve. Uh, what? What ace people are you seeing that literally think sex appeal was engineered to gross-out sex-repulsed people?? I don’t think this is a core argument??

Yes, sex-repulsed ace people sometimes complain about sex appeal in media being uncomfortable. But that’s it. Every time an ace person shares a discomfort of theirs doesn’t mean it’s the entire basis of their oppression. For the love of God, let ace people discuss their experiences without being blow-torched over not being oppressed enough with an individual discomfort. 

BONUS ROUND

(This was in the tags)

“Completely vilifies celibate individuals” 

...no…? What…? Huh…? 

The most charitable interpretation of this vague accusation is that the poster means celibate people face aphobia as well, due to not wanting to have sex. I have no idea how this “vilifies” anyone, but that aside, as said before: people who are not queer can face aphobia. Also worth noting that society treats celibate people way better than ace people, which is really another example of aphobia. Celibate people can be told they’re missing out (which could be at very least related to aphobic ideals), but they’re rarely called broken. Celibacy is seen more as a respected, controlled ideal in allo people, but when ace people want to do it, they’re just mentally ill.

Anyway, the post was aphobic trash, and it needs to be debunked more often. Mocking ace people online is not a good look anymore, guys. Don't be ugly.

#discourse #queer discourse #LGBT discourse #Adventures in Aphobia #ace discourse #asexual discourse #aphobia #ace discrimination #asexual #asexuality #LGBT #queer #ace #rant #aphobes have no shame but they should #imagine having a brain smoother than a banana peel