#i know my limits baby!!!!

[thefirstknife]

The thing about the final lore tab is that, besides the fact that I'm devastated in ways I can't put into words, the way Saint was affected by this whole thing is unique.

This is obviously primarily Osiris' trauma that we can't really properly comprehend, but Osiris wasn't fully conscious for most of it. It fell to Saint to wait, and hope, that Osiris would be brought back and that he would wake up. There was no certainty for him there. And even before that, he watched "Osiris" being strange and distant and acting weird but obviously nobody could even begin to speculate that the person he interacted with wasn't Osiris at all, so the trauma went from there, from learning that he lost Sagira, then to the shock of Osiris being kidnapped and then the quest to bring him back and then him being brought back in a coma and then the 9 long months of waiting until he woke up.

The state of constant anxiety he experienced for almost 2 years total is nervewracking and gutwrenching. I don't think we can fully understand the impact of that on someone. And the best, or worst, thing is that Saint is infinitely patient. He is infinitely emotional and merciful and opts to be the better person and to wait and wait and wait. And hope that it can be fixed.

Except it can't. It can't be fixed. And not only can it not be fixed, but there will never be justice for it. It's impossible. There isn't a way to truly punish Savathun for what she's done. There is no relief or catharsis for Saint. While Osiris can mostly move on, Osiris did not really have to go through what Saint had to go through. Their traumas are different and Saint's is the type that no one can really understand and there is nothing he can do about it.

A younger Saint would've killed Immaru and then Savathun, 100%. But now he can't, because he isn't that person anymore. And yet, the grief and trauma remain and he has no outlet for them and nothing that can be done to enact any sort of justice. So he settles for pure rage, letting himself essentially vent that anger out, but still leave everyone alive. And there's really no true release here. He got a brief satisfaction of killing Savathun over and over, but at the end of the day, she will walk away and nothing will change and there will be no fix.

Which is why he comes back and just cries. As he said, this wasn't for Osiris, it was for him. It was his outlet for anger and nothing else. After that, there's nothing else left to do but cry. No one can really help him carry the burden of what he's gone through and besides: he's a Titan. He's the one carrying other people's burdens. Which just added to the trauma because for so long he's only cared for others, mostly for Osiris, and never really let himself fully grieve or talk about it. Saint never really processed the horrifying ordeal of constant concern for his loved one, then the realisation that his loved one isn't even with him, then the desperate search and then waiting for months and months for the hope that his loved one might wake up. Then Osiris is awake and we're forced to play allies with the person who traumatised both of them in an incomprehensibly terrifying way. Saint had no other way of attempting to make his peace with the situation.

Year of processing grief. I'm in shambles.

#destiny 2 #destiny 2 spoilers #season of the witch #season of the witch spoilers #saint-14 #osiris #o14 #i haven't stopped thinking about this and i never will #i genuinely cried like a little baby reading this #the whole time of this ordeal it's been told through saint's patience and devastation about the situation #so we know just how much he stretched his limits here #again. a younger saint would've gone apeshit months ago #but now he has a limit and he's more patient than ever and literally no one can help him #i'm in tears over this man he doesn't deserve any of this bullshit #i could go on for approximately 17 more hours about this #if i see savathun again she will die by my hand

[idlesuperstar]

Anything suspicious? Only you, Morse.

Max // Morse: from 1965 to 1972

#endeavour #max debryn #morse #shaun evans #james bradshaw #I was going to say 'first to last' but it is not obvsssss because there are no morse gifs here! #so it's one per season #I love them very much #finally watched the final series and was filled with much relief and emotion #and did a few crys #gosh they were such babies at the start look at them #also this is the gifset I discover you can post gigantic fucking mb gifs!!! all hail the new post editor!! #the YEARS I have spent making gifs come in under the size limit!! #I was here when they had to be 512kb!!!! #I slAVED in the gif mines #no wonder I keep seeing so many awesomely massive gifs on my dash #ok yeah this is not new news I know but I've been out of the gifmaking habit #also my s3-s5 rips are shit quality so there's that #my wee gifs

[semperreformanda]

i’m 40 weeks today 🥲

#my belly has been so tight lately !!! #to the point where my muscles feel so tired #I have a feeling I’ll have baby this week #bec it feels like my body has been pushed to its limits 🤣 #we’ll see 🥲 #trying hard not to feel pressured that I’m still pregnant bc I know this is normal 🥲 #people around me r too excited and I just feel pressured 💀

[veinsfullofstars]

⚔️ How ‘bout a li'l training montage? 🏹

(ID: Kirby series fanart of Shadow Kirby honing his battle skills with various different Copy Abilities, feat. Dark Meta Knight and Shadow Dedede. More detailed descriptions below the cut. END ID.)

Part 1 | Part 2 (here!)

So I keep thinking about how Shadow Kirby is confirmed in canon to be just as powerful and capable as regular Kirby, so long as he can push past his own reluctance and fears. Then I started thinking about the unique color palette he has for the Fighters games, if that could be a sort of visual indicator of him reaching that full potential. Then I started thinking about who was around to teach him these skills, and the differences in their techniques, and how SD’s treatment of SK might be vastly different from DMK, and how that affects the relationship that DMK & SD might have, and how it all ties in to the sociopolitical climate of the Mirror World as a whole, and oh stars dammit am I making another AU again???

On an unrelated note, screw the Mirror World for giving everyone in it just the most annoying color palettes to shade. Grays on grays on grays and sometimes red but mostly grays. I am languishing in render hell and ready to move on to the next one thank you. Too many headcanons - not enough time or hands or energy.

UPDATE 03/01/24: Changed SK's eyes to purple instead of blue, and changed DMK's cape from gray to dark red.

Started 11/7/23, finished 11/16/23. NOTE: This was originally posted on my deleted account on 11/16/23.

---

Image descriptions

Top left: SK in Ninja gear, facing left, looking focused and holding out his katana, imitating DMK standing beside him in a similar pose with his own sword.

Top middle: SK in Archer gear, leaping up to fire an arrow from his bow.

Top right: SK in Bomb gear - also sporting his darker swirl coloration from Kirby Fighters - winking and sticking his tongue out as he tosses a bomb towards the viewer.

Middle: SK - in Wrestler gear with KF colors - delivering a strong leaping kick to a wooden training dummy, while DMK & SD observe in the background. SD stands with arms crossed and eyes narrowed, his mouth pulled into a sinister, calculating grin. DMK stands at his side, wrapped in his cape with eyes hidden in the shadows of his mask, a pensive ellipsis over his head.

Bottom left: SK facedown on the floor with a cross of bandages on his head, exhausted from training. DMK’s hand awkwardly comes in from off-screen, placing a bottle of Energy Drink beside him.

Bottom right: SK powering up into his KF form, fists clenched, eyes squeezed shut, mouth open in a roar, an aura of purple-black flame flickering around him.)

#veins art #veins fanart #fanart #kirby series #kirby #shadow kirby #dark meta knight #shadow dedede #dark metadad #copy abilities #headcanon #AU #kintsugi au #<- (tentatively adding this tag here but not to the first part) #a baby black hole and his two garbage dads #(one more garbage-y than the other in my onion) #I like to think SK gets cheekier when he enters full go-mode #from nervous li'l marshmallow to a hyperball of mischief and chaos in an instant #tho he probably can't sustain it for very long and gets real eepy afterwards #he's not very good at pacing himself #(nor are his mentors good at knowing when he's at his limit - each for very different reasons) #(also veins honey please stop creating AUs when you have a billion unfinished ones already I swear to Nova-) #veinsfullofstars

[buddiesmutslut]

I’m being so ffr rn, if the show runners definitively show that Buddie is not going to happen?

I’m probably not going to be watching anymore.

I mean it when I say that they’re literally the sole reason I watched this show in the first place. I saw a billion TikTok edits of them & was like “Idek these characters I need to watch this show and see what’s going on over there.”

And like, it’s a fun show, I’m not saying it isn’t, but first responder shows are a dime a dozen. There are other shows that have queer characters and found family and wild adventures. Granted, they don’t have Buck & his bi arc, but I’d still read fanfics to get my Evan Buckley fix lol.

I don’t need them right now, I’m so down for the slow burn, will-they-won’t-they & the pining & the yearning & the build up and the GOOD foundation. I want to see Eddie figuring himself out and dealing with his repression and figuring out he’s queer (& Demi, pls God. I hope if I just say it enough, I can will it into existence somehow) before anything happens with the two of them, but if they take definitive steps to have one of them like, marry someone else or something, I think I’m gonna head out. Find me on ao3 for the rest of my days lol.

#911 abc #buddie #demisexual eddie diaz #also pls don’t come at me with “you don’t care about bi representation”. he’s already bi #he’s always been bi & I’ve loved watching him on this journey #but his & Eddie’s relationship is literally the only reason I started this show in the first place #and again if they find good LI’s & bring them more into focus #the time spent on the Buddie relationship will decrease. that’s just how tv & time limits work #and if my favorite relationship on the show goes away then why would I continue watching it religiously? #also I know I’m a bitch & would therefore hate any person they brought in to be the HEA for them & that’s not fun for anyone #not that I would bully the actor/actress bc im not an ASSHOLE #eddie diaz #evan buckley #I literally watched Booth & Bones take like 9 seasons to get together I am IN IT with a slow burn #unless they do what they did last season & shoehorn 2 LI’s in at the last second on the last episode then I guess I wouldn’t have a choice #Tim would’ve pulled a fast one on me #also I will watch literally anything else Oliver Stark is in SNOOKUMS I love you so much. come home the kids miss you 😂 #& probably Lou also bc he’s so freaking cute irl I wanna die #with his curly hair and his silly faces and his muscles and his wanting to be held in the dark #LOU BABY ILL HOLD YOU IF THE POWER GOES OUT #I have spent too much of my life & time & energy to get 0 payout and it’s honestly unsustainable but that’s a whole different problem

[tippenfunkaport]

It will never not piss me off that 80s She-Ra toys were action figures but when they went to make toys for 2018 She-Ra, they would only give us fashion dolls.

How did they learn nothing from the popularity of their own toyline?

Literally, three decades passed and somehow sexism in toys got WORSE.

#spop #shera #she ra #I want my SPOP action figures damn it #they could be completely lazy and just make the same toys again but make them look like the new show and I would take it #scratch action Catra but OUR Catra? #give it to me #i will even take bubble power she-ra idgaf #god I wish mattel wanted my money #*resists the urge to rant about the toy industry and all the ways they did this merch line dirty* #I'm not tagging mattel because then I will get the dudebros who think they know more about the toy industry than me when they SUPER don't #beyond the whole Target limited run / DC dolls thing shooting the SPOP toy line in the foot #the spop merch was very clearly made quickly as a reaction to the shows popularity #instead of ready at launch like a show that depends on toy sales #and if you are too clueless to understand the most basic way the industry works #you are not worth fighting with #'no one wanted the toys' ok jan #go on ebay and look at how much the spop toys sell for and try to say that again with a straight face #toylines that are legit bombs don't have a resale value like these do that's toys 101 babies #resale like that means supply issue #i'll stop now #this is my longest tag rant yet sorry everyone #and for that one specific dudebro let me clarify that obviously it would be great if all toys were made for everyone #but this toyline was specifically made and marketed for girls #and it's impossible not to factor marketing and intended demographic in when talking about this #see I said I would stop and it was a lie #now I'll stop for real

[stacytea]

okay, lemme just say: Gil-galad, who hated being the king Gil-galad, who had never wanted to be the king in the first place Gil-galad, who was crowned anyway, because there were hardly any finweans left around and the noldor in Beleriand needed a king, just so they can hold onto something, have some semblances of normality in the apocalyptic post-nirnaeth time Gil-galad, who became the high king when he was only 13/14 if we convert to human years, who was barely able to hold back tears in front of crowds as the crown was being placed upon his head Gil-galad, who had been raised by Círdan on Balar, among Teleri, and now he was the number 1 person in a culture that he didn't even feel like was truly his. A culture that so far he had only been taught about, had never participated in. Gil-galad, who politically hardly ever got to make his own decisions, whose role as the king was mostly limited to signing up whatever the parliament needed to validate and who was ascribed the blame whenever an idea backfired Gil-galad, who always wished he could've just lived a simple life on Balar, alongside Teleri, worked on a fishing boat and stuff like that, but instead he was manoeuvred into politics and bureaucracy, and an office that everyone at this point already knew was cursed, overall an enormous amount of responsibility, when he was basically still a child Gil-galad who was handling it all quite well until the third kinslaying happened Gil-galad, who was something like 15/16 in human years when the third kinslaying happened, who then had to face the reality of his reign, which was: he held little to no power. He was just a teenager, put on a throne, so the noldorin power in beleriand didn't seem to be crumbling as badly as it actually was. And he definitely wasn't able to protect his people Gil-galad, who was still doing his best after the third kinslaying, but also he started turning completely self-destructive in his free time. Like, there wasn't a single weekend he wouldn't spend at some party, drinking until he blacked out, taking whatever drugs he could get, getting involved in all kinds of reckless/precarious sexual behaviours Gil-galad, who just wanted someone to show up and take over the kingship , but was aware that all hopes for it had been wiped out when the feanorians attacked Sirion. That any hopes were gone along with Eärendil and his little sons. Gil-galad, whose role was mostly representative, so he had to be present at all kinds of events, no excuses. ,,What do you mean you need a day off? You're the king, ffs!!! Get your hangovered ass over there, it's not like you're going to work'' It pretty much resulted in young Gil-galad quite often showing up in public hangovered/ still lightly drunk/drugged/ overall messy af. And aside from the toll it took on his reputation, like- the king who has some serious troubles with substance abuse is probably easy to be influenced on many matters; it's also the fact that he was crowned to raise the morale among noldor, to message: ,,Look, we still have a king, it's not that bad!" How does it impact the Noldor when they repeatedly see their king barely able to stand upright or retching in some darkened corner? Not well, to say the least. Gil-galad, who felt trapped by the kingship. Gil-galad, who knew there was no way out of it for him, other than by suffering a painful death like basically every one of his predecessors Gil-galad who was being self-destructive and he didn't care about getting hurt because ,,hey, I have no control over my own life anyways :)))'' but also Gil-galad, who grew out of his teenage years and in his early adulthood had some ,,I can't keep living like this" moments , especially after waking up somewhere on the cold ground, feeling like shit and covered in vomit and all other kinds of fluids either his own or someone else's or both

Gil-galad who was in his early twenties (again, converted to human years) and decided to get his life together, because if he's trapped anyway, he can as well try to make it a little less horrible for himself

Gil-galad, who had maybe never got quite the amount of support he needed from Círdan, but Círdan had definitely taught him a lot and enough for him to be able to get by in life and politics

Gil-galad, who started getting his life together in his early twenties, and even if he stayed dangerously close to alcohol/drugs addiction and kept his inclination for partying for the rest of his life, he was actually doing fine

Also sometime after the War of Wrath began, it turned out that Eärendil's sons had made it out alive after all, and maybe it wasn't fixing all Ereinion's problems, but it sure was SOMETHING

#silmarillion #the silmarillion #gil galad #ereinion gil galad #his teenage years were shit #it got only slightly better later in his life #y'all know how doges of venice had extremely limited power because everyone feared they would become dictators? #I imagine that gil galad had a bit more liberty than them but still he was controlled severely on many matters almost all the time #the only exception were emergencies #and these also were scrutinized afterwards #he needed the parliament's agreement for basically everything #like he couldn't even leave Balar island/ (later in his life) Lindon city without their permission #and all of this because the Noldor at the time were afraid that another king would pull a Fëanor on them #a.k.a. make some really important decisions (like a relocation of almost whole nation to another continent) on a whim #without anyone controlling that #I swear I love this character #he my favourite babygirl #he ain't even a girl but: cool girl/ party girl/ cinnamon roll baby #silmarillion headcanon #cw: substance abuse

[azumasoroshi]

headcanon that gin knows sign language and insults tachihara to his face all the time but he has no idea what they're saying, just that they're insulting him lmfao

so he secretly learned sign language to get back at her and one day in the middle of a mission briefing he signs "dumbass" and she has to try super hard to not react visibly

they now trade insults frequently via signing and talk about hirotsu behind his back, unaware that he knows exactly what they're saying and is planning his own dramatic reveal

#guess who's back on tachigin brainrot after making one barely popular tachigin post like a year ago #still stand by that gin uses all pronouns and tachi is bi though i think im incredibly based and correct on that take #been slowly expanding my horizons past gay ships which is incredibly unfortunate #anyway ive been brainrotting on both tachigin and spy x family lately #and i have like 100 screenshots of manga/anime spy fam moments #and you know what that means #TACHIGIN SPY X FAMILY REDRAWS LETS GO BABY #i have one done already #also im desperate to draw anything at all because everything i start i cannot fucking finish #so redraws are about what i'm limited to at the moment #tachigin #tachihara michizou #akutagawa gin #bungou stray dogs #bsd #hirotsu ryuurou

[unproduciblesmackdown]

reread the rest thus far of lackadaisy and there's the both v easy & difficult task of gathering a shit ton but only a shit ton of excerpts (like every single page is a highlight i'm not exaggerating)

and every single element is superlative and the way it all only becomes More So....already mentioned the way the like smooth gradient shading made the successful evocation of 3D Shapes more noticeable, along w/the consistent geometries of character design & details in fabric folds; the way Lighting & Coloring only goes on to become more prominent elements only enhances that further. the compositions, backgrounds, pacing, angles....everything is so dynamic & expressive, such as including the expressions which you know i also Love / absorbed

going "hell yes for people to discover this superlative comic" then having to occasionally refresh past site traffic overloaded server errors like "nooo" but actually yes

whilest clapping & cheering for the fun of everyone who's been here a minute. My God the invigorating reward when again i started reading in '07 & the concept of rocky & freckle on a "proper" run had only manifested via fun official bonus art, then a literal decade later as it was actually happening in the comic like screeeeaammm i can feel it coming in the air tonight oh lord etc....i've loved following it, again, if i see another new comic page. i am going to be Enriched

i also really was right on the ball myself this time around like okay okay yep i have picked up on Everything, at least to the degree i can lmao. i love the mysteries. i love how Character Focused it is too ofc and there's no characters i'm uniterested in / dislike. you gotta point to one of them, truly, and i have been a [pointing at freckle] enjoyer these fifteen years but fr i am a connoisseur of everyone, i love that so many characters are a weird mysterious chaos element story driver in their own right. i considered mordecai more intently than ever, love his like ultra mystery (and that we leave off on him doing some detectiving even) and truly fun that like, the source of the more Immediate problems he keeps having in every damn interaction isn't the like [wow mordecai with the just diving into the hatchet murdering] factor so much as it's that he's generally like "i am just standing here" and is not nt in any way that matters and people insist on fucking with him on that front. the peak tragedy of him in a bonus comic getting bullied into having to dance with someone to Be Polite like i'm so sorry i wish you could be that ficus too. anyways intrigued with the marigold &/or mordecai mysteries including that it's like, how coincidental is it that he talks about marigold having a thorn in its side & the savoys' nickname for him is peekon = thorn. there is so much to consider, love that for us truly. and i'm rooting for mordecai & nicodeme's dynamic out here, is another conclusion....very enriched by comparing & contrasting that serafine nicodeme mordecai triumvirate with the rocky ivy freckle one, to be sure. im enriched

i'm also enriched by every footnote that's got like historical facts / research notes / [this is inaccurate for xyz prioritization but here's the disclaimer] explanations. i Love information. and everything else like i loooove this comic it's Soooo Fucking putting my hands to my temples and inhaling at length through my teeth

#first time i've really taken tumblr up on that new thirty image limit expansion; bit of a surprise maybe lol #put your back into autism acceptance month &/or press j; scroll fast; read through it actually; filter the following: #long post // #learning abt the overwhelming popularity of baby ruth candy bars from lackadaisy footnotes? relevant to gtm:pota aficionadoship at one pt #remember discussing what i learned from another footnote abt some christian denominations / other religions being very Anti Prohibition #every time i use the word cagey i think of lackadaisy. cagey thing... we've all been there #fantastic time revisiting and i love to be considering all these characters all the further / with reckless juxtaposition #especially the two triumvirates as mentioned. rooting for them all #rooting for mordecai to be relieved of that v realistic [ppl sensing a Mess With His he is not nt in any way that mattersness Free For All] #either let him be or start shooting at him lmfao. but i Love that the gang had that pleasant nonbrunch together & no shots exchanged yet #more brunches! and i think nicodeme could be mordecai's bestie or w/e he wants. turn out to be Supportive in any way that matters #they are more so the ivy and freckle of their group after all lol. slightly would-be Unlikely coupling there as well anyways; and yet! #i am as enriched and intrigued and appreciative and etc as ever #and reminded that in my rereading i haven't yet gone over all the bonus material lol.... #also stumbled across that sungwon cho had fandubs of lackadaisy comics posted like 9 yrs back?? #which means i probably saw one or two; think i remember one being shared and checking that out #like hey didn't know i'd encountered you before like; vines & oh the lamps are fucking & etc. and now there he goes voicing mordecai yaay #lackadaisy

[burnt-cheerios]

I am, once again, sobbing screaming pining over the silly minecraft men

#life series #trafficblr #grian #double life #mcyt #the traffic light series really just scratches the specific itch in my brain for that hunger games type of content #where you get attached to all the characters and their different dynamics and stories #and you want all of them to win but you know there can only be one victor and there’s going to be a lot of heartbreak and emotion #. #I end up falling for a different group of characters in each season #and they break my heart every time and leave me sobbing on the floor #3rd life was scar and grian (obviously) #last life was etho and bdubs :( #(when bdubs killed lizzy for etho and didn’t get a life back #literally tragic. my heart was in pieces) #double life was the ranchers (my babies ohhh my god my babies) #(the boat boys too </3) #and limited life was the bad boys #THEIR CURSES 😫😭 #my baby boy jimmy solidarity gaming. the actual pain and disappointment in his voice when he was out first again #and joel doing everything he can but it still not being enough #weeping. art. tragedy. gives me emotions I haven’t felt in years #but just :( everything about the series is so good #so good and yet causes so much pain

[yuriyuruandyuraart]

HAPPY (late) BIRTHDAY @zu-is-here!!!!

i can't believe i missed your b-day again!! i had to make you something this year and so why not draw the bean the legend, the sweetest baby ever as a gift!!! >:Dc

thank you so much for all of your sweet words and making your blog one of the most comforting places to be at!! hope you're having an amazing day<3333

#art #my art #my gif #my animation #fanart #gift #aim #sorry i'm a lil late! school has been a lil crazy with assignments and group projects lately and i only get some spare time the weekends #that and i didn't know how to draw something big and that doesn't need much time with a mouse hh :'Dc #i guess i went with a small gif because i've been waiting to make one with lil baby aim for sO LONG!!! look at him being so cuuute >:'Dc #(i technically had a whole different idea last year but i'll wait until i have a tablet again- #i wouldn't wanna limit myself when it's supposed to be a big surprise project >;)c ) #you're like- one of my biggest inspiration ever on this site so you know i had to doodle something at least!! #don't think i forgot about your amazing gift last year either!!! if you were so kind to draw me something and brighten up my day like that- #then you can BET i'll repay the favor!!! >:'Dc thank you so much again for your supportive comments and your sweet words #your presence is beloved by so many people around the world!!! no matter who passes by you always treat them with so much care #and respect!! your works have only improved throughout the years at an insanely rapid pace and i can't believe it's been 3 years now #you deserve all the praise and support and i wish you the best of luck in your future projects!!! have a nice day/night<3333

[stellerssong]

Swan I promise I'll get caught up on your fanwork soon. Soon as I actually watch these overdue DVDs of The Watchman😉. In the meantime consider this an invitation to do a director's commentary from back when Will Graham was a bird?

please enjoy your viewing of the watchman! don't quote me on this, but i hear he (the eponymous watchman) was in a comic book once...really make u thimk.

oh god okay umm...how do i put this politely for the good people in the audience who have not been following me since 2013. so. ok. so i've long maintained that turning a character into a bird monster is one of the truest forms of love i am capable of expressing. "but swan!" you say, shocked and horrified, "surely you mean turning a character into a WEREWOLF is one of the truest forms of love you are capable of expressing! you have a whole thing about werewolves! it's an expanded universe with hinted crossovers! there's internal logic and now a magic system! you have spilled literally thousands of words that are No Plot Just Describing Midcycle Werewolves and you KEEP THREATENING TO DO THAT MORE." and like. you're not wrong strictly speaking. and i do inflict that aggressively upon my favorite characters. but there is something particularly monstery about the bird monster that a werewolf just doesn't get at.

it's the uncanny valley of it all, you dig? a werewolf is, when you get down to it, a wolf whose instincts are fettered to a human perception of the world—hence, functionally, a dog. a very large, gross, dangerous, infectious dog, in some cases—a dog with hands and fucked-up people teeth, frequently—but it's fundamentally the emotional tension of the dog that i'm working with here, right? the sit and stay and will i get a pat or a kick of things, the what is a pack and what are they owed of it, the animal caught in a little box with the human and the realization of how little space there is between those two things. which is all lovely delicious good food for me, personally, and of course i am capable of making something tangibly offputting out of those compelling pieces.

but the bird monster is a different game. that's a different part of the uncanny valley, and i hesitate to call it a more physical part, but the physicality IS part of it. a bird has warm blood, like you or like me (with apologies to any reptiles, amphibians, ectothermic fish, etc. reading this). it breathes air. it's often social and intelligent. it has a voice—more importantly, it makes music. we connect with these qualities, as fellow warm-blooded social tetrapods. we think, oh, this is a familiar creature, this is a creature i can easily empathize with (again, apologies to those reading this who, like me, are thrown into a tearful cute-aggression frenzy over the japanese giant salamander).

but a bird feels different from a human in a way that a dog doesn't. it's got feathers. it's got hollow bones. it's got an expressionless face and eyes that don't convey the same warmth as a dog's or a wolf's or even a cat's. there are tame birds and domesticated birds, yes, but in general there's not the same cultural sense of the bird as companion animal that smooths the way (or burdens) the dog or the wolf-as-dog.

and it flies. that's fuckin' different.

so it's a different tension there. where the werewolf's sense of alienation stems from the uneasy knowledge that there's gray area between wolf and dog and human, the bird monster's deal is a more classic disjoint. a human is not like a bird. these two things are (or feel) more diametrically opposed. and yet in the bird monster they exist within a single body anyway. the human in you is content to travel in two dimensions. the bird in you understands that there's a whole lot more world if you just look up. the human in you needs the solidity of earth underfoot and the comforting anchor of gravity. the bird in you knows those things for chains and cages in disguise. the human in you tastes blood and grimaces, gags, spits and screams and weeps. the bird in you swallows, expressionless, and sings.

ok so then imagine if it was will graham,,,

#chatter #ask games #PRETENTIOUS PRETENTIOUS PRETENTIOUS PRETENTIOUS. #tldr: bird monsters is different body horror and i like it. #''ok what was the like. plot. of the bird!will thing'' there wasn't a PLOT you think i do PLOTS #HE TURNED INTO A BIRD AND THEN MADE OUT WITH BEVERLY KATZ A LOT BECAUSE I'M A WOMAN OF DISCERNING TASTES. #BY MOST PEOPLE'S ACCOUNTS I WAS DOING HANNERBAL FANDOM VERY WRONGLY. #it's been a very long time since i thought about this au. first instance of me trying to bring heians into a fandom hilariously #in a vain but good-faith attempt to rehabilitate the characters of chiyoh and lady murasaki. by turning them into bird monsters. #my repertoire is limited but i get MILEAGE out of it baby. #i don't even know what to tag this. #beautiful monsters #i guess?

[polysyndetonaddictsupportgroup]

I don’t know if you already said this elsewhere, but did the Zenin ever hurt Megumi in a way it simply wasn’t possible for them to explain? Like being poisoned or bitten by one of the dozens curses? Did Gojo catch them red handed (the red is literally megumi’s blood💀)?

The first time that they hurt him in a way that they couldn’t explain away was the last time they hurt him, because Gojo immediately cut them off and refused to ever let them ever get near Megumi again. The Zenin didn't fully realize this at the time they had custody, but legitimately the only reason why it got as far as it did was because Gojo didn't know.

They weren’t exactly advertising “yeah we beat him when we have him” to him, but it wasn’t exactly because they thought gojo would put a stop to it, per se. They didn’t tell Gojo anything they did to Megumi because they felt absolutely entitled to him. They didn’t want Gojo’s input or interference, and they didn’t like feeling like they had to ask for permission around this with Megumi. But they didn’t think he actually would cut them off from him.

In the Zenin’s mind, Gojo doesn’t love Megumi. He’s never loved Megumi. Megumi’s just a political pawn to him, a way to insult the Zenin and steal their most valuable technique for his own. And he got way more value from letting them see him. He got to have his influence on someone who was very likely to be clan head one day—if Megumi’s cut off from them entirely, he’s not moving towards being clan head. He got a bargaining chip with the Zenin—he could further his own goals by offering them more time with him. Megumi’s a powerful piece of leverage but only if Gojo actually uses him. Him intervening to protect Megumi by severing all contact doesn’t further his own goals, so when it all came to a head, they pretty blindly assumed that he wouldn’t give a shit about what they had just done to Megumi, because at the end of the day, they thought he was going to keep using Megumi for his own ends, which meant giving them access.

Instead, Gojo immediately pulled the plug on the entire situation. They never touched or saw him again. The first time that Megumi saw them after the incident that made them go no contact was when Naoya came to pick him up at his school.

#sea glass gardens #in my mind jujutsu sorcerer kids are sturdier #like Sukuna punted Megumi through multiple buildings in their fight #so it must be /hard/ to do something that causes a bruise #a lot of the Zenin’s abuse was hidden because while it still hurt it wasn’t leaving marks #or it was abuse that wouldn’t leave marks anyway like how they’d work him to the point of collapse or control his every action #but if they hit him hard enough to leave marks then they had the built in excuse that megumi was fighting with other kids #or had just had one of those normal little kid bumps. like I have a baby nieces and nephews and those kids will just hurl their bodies #around. kids collect bruises. they’re figuring out what their limits are and even if you watch them carefully a few bumps is normal. #they hurt him badly but they always had a way to hide it until they went too far and didn’t anymore. and the second gojo realized that #the adults on the compound had been beating megumi he never let them so much as look at him again. he legitimately put his foot down and #refused to budge an inch no matter how much hell he caught for it #I’ve definitively decided that the incident that made them go no contact is not going to be revealed in sea glass gardens #it just isn’t something that would come out through yuutas pov #if I wrote other works in the series it would probably come out through one of them but it’s a big big if #I make no promises as to other works in the universe (though I have started writing some of them. completion is another thing entirely). #if you guys want to know the incident that made them go no contact I wouldn’t be opposed to revealing it over ask but it’s y’all’s #preference. usually the stuff I talk about in ask is stuff I’ll know isn’t going to be revealed in sea glass gardens itself. this is kind of #in purgatory because I know it’s coming out in sea glass gardens but there’s a smaller chance of it being revealed in a different work #so it’s up to y’all. if you want to know I’ll answer it behind a cut or something but if you want to gamble on it actually being written out #one day that’s fine too