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favcharacterpoll · 7 months

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ROUND 6 MATCH 3: CECIL VS. C!WILBUR

Cecil Palmer from Welcome to Night Vale faces c!Wilbur from the dsmp. @10piecechickenmcnugget get over here sage

Cecil Propaganda:

"Cecil is not only the Tumblr sexyman, he is the first gay protagonist of a podcast that most of us have ever heard. From the very first episode he was unashamedly queer and no one has ever called him out or given him shit for being gay. He is a gay Jewish fashion disaster who is the mouthpiece for an incredibly bizarre town and plays the whole “this horrifying thing is completely normal”thing so well. If Cecil wasn’t there, I think a lot of people wouldn’t have felt so accepted for just being who they were. Cecil is an inspiration and the queer podcast rep we all deserved as we were growing."

"he’s gay. he’s a dilf. he’s ageless. he has been since there’s was nothing and he’s still here after the world ended. he can summon music. his mother is a oracle his father is a tree. his cat is a man who got cursed and also has wings a stinger and poison??? he thinks a tutu and crocs is formal wear and has talked to god and she said ‘I love you. I’m sorry’. he’s definitely guilty of manslaughter from negligence"

"this is the website Night Vale built!"

c!Wilbur Propaganda:

"Accurate depiction of mental health and spiral, handled delicately and deliberately, every piece of his story was thought and planned and in the end he went home to Utah. Thank you lord."

"Please don’t let the name dream smp effect how you feel about this submission, this character is completely unrelated to dream and I’m pretty sure the person who played him has nothing to do with dream anymore. This man single handedly got me through a horrible patch filled with extreme paranoia by also being extremely paranoid. Genuinely really helped me feel seen and I coped a lot by getting invested in this character. I almost cried when he died :("

"He’s so fucking stupid. I could infodump for hours this man transed my gender. Everything has gone wrong in his life. He’s the definition of a bisexual disaster."

"I didn’t fail 10th grade math bc I was thinking about c!wilbur for him to lose round one"

"I mean look at him!! his Minecraft skin is adorable!!!"

"if you people vote for cwilbur i'll draw him in a bikini."

"A VOTE FOR C!WILBUR IS A VOTE FOR GIRLBOYS EVERYWHERE"

"i should not have underestimated minecraft fans they came together"

"Season 1 changed me. I didn’t know minecraft videos could have good acting, dramatic plots, etc. Wilbur was one of the best there. His plot was so interesting with the L’Manburg and the unfinished symphony arcs. He was funny, dramatic, sad… I fondly remember my dsmp days (though I only saw up to like part of Tommy’s exile)"

#polls #wtnv cecil #cecil gershwin palmer #cecil palmer #wtnv #welcome to night vale #c!wilbur #c wilbur #cwilbur #dsmp wilbur #wilbur soot #dsmp #wilbur dsmp

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antimony-medusa · 7 months

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hi saw your daddy kink post discussing the phenomenon of giving grown characters surrogate parental relationships, and I understand where you’re coming from, but i really feel like it’s just a matter of the circles you run in, and the assumptions that you might make because of that. you mention how platonic reads of these dynamics are more uncommon than kinky reads, which i just don’t think is the case, and I think that arguing that people don’t even realize that they’re writing a kink is a little bit bizarre, and sort of assumes that you know more abt them than they do by projecting your own experiences onto them.

it isn’t inherently sexual to crave protection or a parental relationship that you may have missed out on, and it is certainly not universal. in my own family, my “grandpa” isnt my biological grandfather (nor do I really consider him to be my grandfather), but he’s my mother’s surrogate father and has been since she was in her twenties. an adult. he sees her as a daughter. she sees him as a father. there’s absolutely nothing kinky about it. and anybody who automatically assumes that must have their mind deep, deep in the gutter and/or the stranger side of the Internet. really, i find it a bit of a strange argument to randomly post in the first place—as if it’s a problem that so many people enjoy non romantic and non sexual relationships, and that these people must, in fact, have a daddy kink that they are unaware of.

that said, i do absolutely agree that fans bringing any part of that into phil’s chat is weird and they should Not do that, and that infantilizing characters is also very weird, and personally i dont even see him as being father figure to anybody on that island except his eggs, wilbur, and MAYBE an argument could be made for tubbo (which other cc’s on the island have joked about), but to each their own and all that.

sorry this is so long. TLDR, i get where ur coming from in terms of “warning , some people might read your stuff differently than you want here” but really not everything is a kink and paternal dynamics can easily happen in regards to adult characters, particularly young adults, without there being any inappropriate connotations. i know nothing i said will change your mind, obviously it’s set, but ykno diff perspectives and all that. hope ur doing well

Thank you for the ask! I see you were on mobile, I believe. :D I am also going to push the character limit with this response, I fear.

I agree that it isn't inhernetly sexual to go after a parental relationship that you missed out on, and there are many such cases. I'll even go so far as to say that it's not inherently kinky to go after a parental relationship that you missed out on, because there is such a thing as non-sexual kink, and heaven knows that MCYT writing is full of non-sexual kink. Lots and lots of stuff that is platonic that is kinking on fear, or being drugged, or kidnapping, or hypnosis, or familial relationships, etc— there's lots of people who aren't doing that. There are tons of people out in the real world (and in fiction), who are simply just expanding their family as an adult, and that's awesome. When I was in college there was this older couple who kind of adopted me and invited me over for thursday dinner, and they were awesome. There was nothing untoward going on there.

But look. I am an emduo fan who likes to see my guys be murdery, and because of that, I've ended up reading a bunch of Dark SBI. I've ocassionally gone "this cannot be what everyone is doing" and I've read stuff tagged as "family fluff" that I find recommended. I am aware of where the genre is going, particularly with the rise of "dadbur" and "dadnoblade" interpretations.

And look, you have just got to trust me on this one. People are writing stuff that in any other fandom I would be recommending they put kink tags on the work so that people who liked that trope could find it and people who didn't like it would avoid it, but that comment in DSMP would just lead to people getting doxxed, so I just grit my teeth and go "i guess that's baked into Dark SBI or Tooth Rotting Fluff now, I sure hope that doesn't hit anybody's triggers".

Like I PROMISE you. The first draft of this response included excerpts of fics that I've read and I was like "can YOU pick the ship fic from the /p fics here"? But I have a horror of ever leading to someone getting cancelled on twitter, so nothing that could possibly be identifiable of these writers. But like—

Some of the ways that Tommy gets treated in the narrative are almost indistinguishable from a bodice-ripper romance. Some of the tropes being used— within DSMP we've all clasped hands and agreed to interpret it being platonic, but in any other fandom, you are going to start getting comments that you might not want to get. The tag is FULL of stuff that is DD/LB in everything but name. Maybe my mind is in the gutter here, but if you move out of this fandom, you are going to move into circles where a lot of people's minds are in the gutter, and you are going to get a very different response from your comments!

And I was talking about daddy kink here specifically, because I see that one come up a lot and it's gotten egregious lately, but this also applies to dehumanization, and fearplay, and predator/prey, and "instincts" (in every other fandom that's gonna get people in a mashup of A/B/O, Hypnosis, and sometimes Agere responding to it), and kidnapping/drugging, AND the way a bunch of "piglin instincts" stuff is just a BDSM au now where the Brute (dom) needs to be callmed down by their Runt (sub). The SBI tag is super kinky right now. And I don't have a problem with that idealogically, write your truth, but a) please don't bring that up in front of the streamers, b) if you move to another fandom you have got to be prepared that not everyone is doing their kink platonically.

Like I'm assuming that people don't know what tropes they're playing into, they're just building them from first principles, because the other alternative is that they are deliberately and knowingly writing kink and posting it in the & relationship tag with insufficient trigger tags, and I prefer to believe that people don't know.

I'm glad we agree about people bringing that into Phi's chat, or Pol's, or Luzu, or any of the other streamers that people have decided is So Old. A lot of people aren't comfortable even being assigned dad, as we saw with Felps, so bringing it even further is just— uh oh, no.

I do not have a problem with people liking non-romantic and non-sexual relationships. I find it a bit odd that much of the fandom can't concieve of a non-romantic and non-sexual relationship without making it familial and specifically lately father-son— don't you have close friends?— but I am fully in support of gen writing. I primarily write gen! I'm an avid commentor on gen fics!

But some of the tropes at play in the fandom are kinky, there is no way to avoid that. The fact that they are set in a familial relationship doesn't negate that. Some of the ways that the DSMP characters get treated would be distinctly non-familial if you ever brought it out of that context. And I am just warning people, if you bring it out of that context, be prepared for the response you get.

You cannot take DSMP tropes and apply them one-to-one in other fandoms, with other streamers swapped in, and expect them to be read the same way. Like i'm sorry, but that's just true. If you are posting the same sort of stuff that for Cellbit & Phil that you would post for Tommy & Phil, people will assume that you have a daddy kink, because usually when a relationship between a adults that are actually similar in age is refered to with paternal language it's a kink thing. That is how the broader internet works. (And anon, if I had a daddy kink, would I be complaining about the fact that I can open any SBI fic and have about a 40% chance of hitting it and I'm seeing signs of this appearing in QSMP? I assure you I'm not "projecting [my] own experiences onto them" here.)

#long post #anon #discourse #ask #fandom meta

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sprucewoodmpreg · 2 years

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hi vaguely serious messy post about hermitblr and new members and just. letting everyone know that we’ve had history with cc interaction on here before that i think would be useful for people to learn about

Trafficblr/Hermitblr has seen a lot of growth lately, largely in part from people migrating over here from the DSMP side of MCYTblr. This in of itself is completely fine! New people jumping onto the bus with us are always welcome, and the growth of the community as a whole is really nice to see.

However, I have noticed a lot of these newer blogs sharing the same very specific behaviours, and if possible, I’d like to just make a few things about the community and our history clear. Because this isn’t DSMP, and the CCs here handle content creation and their own fanbases very differently to them.

While I’m not going to go in-depth on 2019 since I don’t have nearly as much information about it as other people do, I would like to say that back then, Hermitblr was kind of an active war zone. It was comparable to how Hermittwt is now, with infighting about shipping and similar topics being the norm (however in Hermitblr’s case many of these argument were far more personal due to the smaller fandom size). What I want to point out specifically however, is when one of the CCs, Cleo, was thrown into the community infighting. I don’t remember the specifics of it, but she was sent an ask asking about shipping, and her opinions on it, and eventually dealt with so much backlash that she was forced to leave the site entirely (this post here has a slightly more comprehensive summary, if need be).

I’m just a little concerned, because there seems to have been a slight increase in that demographic of people recently. Specifically, members of the community who want to rely on CCs to dictate what happens in fan spaces; for them to give us bullet point lists of what their exact boundaries are for every single situation.

This rarely ends well. As in, it almost always just causes infighting and hostility. There will always be people making content that will “break boundaries”, regardless of any creator’s wishes. However, this is usually mitigated by the fact that many of these CCs aren’t on Tumblr (at least not anymore....mostly). The problem arises when members of the community attempt to act as Heroes Of Justice, and go out of their way to send asks to other blogs, informing them exactly of how they’ve broken the boundaries of some 40 year old adult. This is all despite the fact that said adult will....never see whatever post went against their wishes. It just encourages policing and this weird superiority....thing, where despite the lack of content creators, people are still fighting to make sure that the site is clean from any possibly upsetting posts.

I say this all while also acknowledging that many of the creators in this sphere also don’t have a very comprehensive understanding of how fandom interacts with their “characters”. To them, “shipping” has always been RPF, and there are so many other aspects of the community that simply can’t be explained easily, as they haven’t been immersed in this culture like we have. This is to say that asking for “boundaries” is likely to get you a very confused and unhelpful answer, as the Hermits have always had a very different way of interacting and viewing their fanbase than the DSMP creators do. There is no “c!” or “cc!” to them, to put it simply.

Essentially, the Hermits are adults. They’ve been doing content creation for years, and I can guarantee you they’ve seen worse things in their lives than art of their Minecraft character kissing another Minecraft character. They’ve dealt with this shit before, and if they wanted it to stop, they’re free to make a post about it whenever want. And yet, they haven’t. They leave fandom up to us. Boundaries and rules and infighting and just...all of that? Let’s leave it to the Twitter users, please. Post what you want, make sure to tag your posts correctly, and we’ll all be fine.

Also, while I’m going to try not to rehash any discourse about inviting CCs to Tumblr, I also do just want to implore you guys to consider that the environment on Hermittwt is partially the way it is because of the active presence of the Hermits there, with people flocking for attention or a single notice, and obsessively checking posts to make sure they’re not potentially “boundary-breaking” and such. Please just consider that many people are here to avoid the dynamics of that site. Tumblr is a site for fans, not for the CCs. So we create content here for ourselves, and not for them. Having creators join almost always leads to the culture of their fanbase on here changing, with content posted in the maintags being catered more towards them rather than the fanbase. (This isn’t to say that they can’t join!! But at least keeping in mind why many of us are here in the first place and weighing that against potential CC interactions would mean a lot).

I fear that my point may have been lost a little bit, but I hope my explanation at least brings a little bit of light to why many members of the community here are wary of Creators coming over to the site, and also of how many newer blogs tend to treat the CCs. Hermitblr has had some really bad history in the past when it comes to this stuff, and seeing newer fans bring over similar ideas from DSMPblr just worries me a little bit.

TL:DR - Just...please treat the Hermits like the adults they are, and keep in mind they have a very different dynamic with their fanbases to the DSMP creators. Asking for “boundaries” and granting CCs control of the fanbase will likely lead you nowhere; attempting to police fanspaces here just brings up bad memories of times when Hermitblr was a much more miserable place to be in. Plus, if you want CC interactions, please just go to twitter. Nobody here wants to deal with an attempted “cleanse” of the site to make it more palatable to CCs.

#i hope this is ok. again im not. trying to police or be a ''fandom mom'' or fucking. whatever #just giving my 2 cents on the subject. take it or leave it i don't care im not the boss of you and you dont have to listen to me #also gen if you see this and want me to remove your post just send me an ask and i'll take it out #discourse #if i said anything goofy or fucked up lmk because while i did try 2 proofread this im also not very concise nor clear #just gonna hit post. assuming this isn't gonna get more than like. 20 notes anyway so i likely wont have to worry abt ppl getting mad @ me

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reblogsbutalmostneverposts · 2 months

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I am not in the MCYT fandom or the DSMP Fandom anymore, I reblog some mcyt stuff occasionally but I just wanted to show my support to Shubble and my utter disgust at Wilbur.

Shubble was a part of my childhood, way before Wilbur was. I would watch her videos practically everyday especially the Undertale series she was part of with Newscapepro. Shubble did not deserve the abuse Wilbur did to her. They did not deserve to be ignored, locked inside the house, made to do everything, reminded of her SA, and abused. She is genuinely so fucking brave for speaking out about this and I applaud them for it. This isn't something easy to talk about to friends or family but the fact that she was able to share it with us and bring light to the situation and the perpetrator speaks for their bravery. I am genuinely so sorry that it happened to her and the fact that I've been supporting someone who's caused so much trauma and hurt for them.

Wilbur's actions were not right nor can it be excused. He is a fucking ABUSER and not even his shitty ass apology can change that. The apology did not do anything towards apologizing for his action but instead cared more about excusing it and demeaning and underplaying the situation. His repeated actions towards them when she has repeatedly asked him to stop, using their safe word to harm them, and pinning them down when he knows that she has a history with SA is unforgivable and inexcusable and I actually cannot fucking believe that he managed to get away with this type of behavior for so long. Words can't even describe how fucking utterly disgusted I am of him.

That being said, if you support Wilbur please get the fuck out of my blog and block me for good measure too, I do not wish to see anyone excusing his actions and continuing to support him when he has done nothing but harm and manipulate women especially when women are the main audience of his. Before you claim that you can't stop supporting him because of a hyperfixation, that is not an excuse. Wilbur has been part of my hyperfixation and helped me go through a rather rough patch in my life alongside his music but this is not an excuse for me to continue supporting him. Please support Shubble and the other victims he has harmed, abused, and manipulated and do not let their stories go unheard.

I've seen people criticizing other CCs such as Tommy and Phil for not speaking out and releasing a statement about the situation and I just beg for you all to wait as this is a hard process to find out that one of your best friends is an abuser and I remind you that not everything should be publicized, people especially CCs have their own private lives too and are allowed to settle things privately.

We should not draw attention away from the victims and instead continue boosting their stories and supporting them, this is the best course of action to take in this situation. I stand by Shubble and Wilbur's other victims and you should too.

#mcyt #wilbur soot #shubble #support subble #tw abuse #anything i reblog beyond this point relating to wilbur would be in support of Shelby or about c!wilbur #shelby shubble #wilbur situation #support victims #edited the pronouns I used for Shubble

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auricgold0 · 29 days

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Wanna talk about the fact that even though the dsmp has a lot of story to it, to me it still feels very…stale? Empty because if you know the plot points you don’t need to know much more and I think the problem is, is that no one realises you can literally just expand on the world if you want. It doesn’t have to only consist of those 30 players, give it life, people who we see momentary but still give some warmth to the story. People who give us more insight to how a character would treat someone they don’t have history with.

And the fact we can work with magic in our stories, it’s literally canon. think of all the Minecraft mechanics and go haywire with it, twist and turn them to be more creative. Even if it’s just a little moment.

My brain is obsessed with the idea of c!Quackity leaving his car on a sunny evening, citizens rushing about some walking with fitted suits a mind at work and some loitering around the office building. Visiting his favourite dinner after work, not his own but one ran by a small but warm family who treat him as their own. Sometimes he walks home, taking the more denser part of the city to visit the local markets, check in on the woman who kisses his forehead and scolds him for being out so late as if he was her child. C!tommy and C!Tubbo stumbling into farmers land and being rushed off. C!Tubbo asking mechanics for scrap to work on his projects. C!Tommy annoying a school teacher late so he can borrow her art supplies. Him climbing walls of more fancy estates, being offered help with his farm by an old lady. Young children aweing at the main server, people brought there for school trips. Whispers aimed toward C!Wilbur if he’s recognised, him messing with waiters,stealing uniform to blend in. You’ve got high stress scenes where he’s trying to not get caught rushing down the halls though the employees have been alerted of him. Him employing a random guy for a good second, whispering his plan while the dude mindlessly agrees because he doesn’t wanna be late for his mother’s dinner.C!Niki walking through a market area, polite greetings as she passes through her city. THERES SO MUCH YOU CAN JUST WRITE!!!

It’s not even the fact I find the relationships in the dsmp boring but the small random relationships/interactions can push a story forward, make it more fun to write.

I think dsmp writers forget that you can keep it canon compliant but still have fun with it. It’s Minecraft, minecraft roleplay- just have fun with it.

(I say this but won’t write shit🤩)

#dsmp #tntduo #quackity #wilbur soot #c!wilbur #fanfic #c!quackity #myct #dsmp fanfic #i’m just rambling #DO YOU GET WHERE IM COMING FROM #i feel so awkward sharing my thoughts but here

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queer-coded-tourney · 10 months

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(submissions now closed) Do you have a blorbo that is definitely homo but never directly stated canon by the creators? Well your blorbo qualifies to possibly win this tournament! Submit your blorbo to the form below and vote for them when they're selected to be in a poll! (Please read rules before submitting a character) Btw! First character to be submitted will be the profile picture for this blog.

RULES:

-Only characters that are NOT canonnically lgbtqia+, they do not NEED to be implied as long as basically the entire fandom just agrees that they're gay, but implied gay characters have a better chance of being selected. (Example of implied gay characters: Ash and Eiji, two men, from Banana Fish are greatlt implied to love each other romantically but it is never directly stated if either of them like men.)

-No real people unless it's REALLY funny (example: Ben Shapiro)

-Only humans, no animals or machines (unless they're part animal or part machine, or part something else, as long as they're at least part human or some other fantasy species thats not a literal animal, its okay.)

-NO DSMP, DANGANRONPA, OR HARRY POTTER CHARACTERS, characters from literally anything else is fine.

-No characters under 14, characters with no canonnical age are fine unless they are very obviously children

HOW ITS GONNA GO:

Me, (Lucifer/Caspar, any pronouns, owner) and my friend Maxine (she/her, mod) will select 32 characters and round one will eliminate 16 characters, round two will eliminate 8, and so on. If two characters tie Max and I will be the ultimate tie breakers.

The person(s) who submitted the final winner will receive a shoutout of course!

Max and I have each submitted a character also, however we will not be stating which ones.

For any questions send an ask or dm my personal blog ( @heygirlareyouhungry )

inspired by @half-being-battle @throuple-tournament @best-transgender-character @who-do-i-know-this-man @i-do-know-this-man

also tagging @tournamentdirectory

#gay #lgbtq community #lgbt pride #battle #tournament #queer coded tournament #queer coded

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g-xix · 2 months

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oh my days did u hear about wilbur soot literally physically abusing shelby

YESYESYES I DID!!!

For the girlies that don't know: I was a minecraft girlie in 2021.

And Wilbur Soot was a big part of that MC phase. He was undeniably hot, but he was also quite open ab mental health stuffs + created quite a safe space for minorities whether that be the gay community, mental health talking space... That's all from the top of my head. In short - he's hot and an empath and ppl liked that ab him

He also kinda showed his "quirky loco character" in music vids or just in streams.

Kinda ironic he's now fulfilling the role that character he mockingly made, tho.

What did he do? Well, he was in a relationship w Shelby Shubble and his way of showing "affection" would be to bite her. Kinda understand biting as a way of showing love as long as it's not life threatening, painful, or in aggression... I mean, ChrisMD does that shit all the time to ArthurTV n it seems more endearing than to really do any bads.

Thing is, Wilbur would end up hurting Shelby. Aaaand so Wil said 'hey let's make a safeword for u 2 say when it hurts so that ik and can stop so i don't harm u'.... but when Shelby used that safeword, broski wuld either grind down or go a lil bit harder b4 letting go.

And Shelby's described it as she would oftentimes scream/yell bc it was so hard, and he'd 'smile' afterwards which is mad psycho (term used loosely) imo. Because also, he'd do ts in public??? Yk, with his friendship group around him n Shelby, the lovely jovely couple? Straight out weird negl.

So, there's context.

Lots of varying opinions online which i would soooo love to get into...

BUT DISCLAIMER BEFORE I DO: Realistically, this is abuse, and thus it is a crime. I've talked about this on my page before - cancel culture can be unecessary in minor incidences, and cancel culture can be not-enough in instances whereby people have simply done illegal things.

This is one of those illegal things. So, whilst I do chat about this light-heartedly or for entertainment, gossip-y purposes - do realise that this is a real life problem that has has major issues in many peoples' lives.

Now, continuing with the juicy waffley discussions that ppl like hearing:

So firstly, some of the Twitter memes are fucking hilarious. I do love that under Wilbur's Twitter apology, loads of MCYTers have joined to clown his goofy ahh. And all those memes saying that Bill smelled such a shit apology he returned to twitter after years + the DSMP are like Avengers in Infinity War returning to all fight enemy No1 WILBUR...

But that being said, DREAM REPLYING TOO????

I spoke ab Dream being a groomer around Christmas time + heard loads of ppl out on vouching for Dream or calling him disgusting, dahdahdah... But the fact that sm ppl are turning around and praising Dream for calling out Wilbur's goofiness is acc MAAAD.

Why's everyone forgotten Dream is j as goofy? And an alleged groomer? And just plain? Not even plain something, brodie is just the plainest mf i've ever seen. Ever since he face revealed, his personality j evaporated on out of his body (anyone feel this asw?)

But no, ppl who are now agreeing w Dream to combat Wilbur as if Dream hasn't also committed what is debateably a crime (ik he 'cleared up the rumours' but it's v hard to fight of groomer allegations when you let them sit and marinate for approx 6 months) is fucking WILD shit to me.

Secondly, people are analysing loads of Wilbur's other prev actions too and saying these should've been red flags to Wilbur being an a-hole before we even heard Shubble's solid proof.

And some of these clips of evidence (e.g. Niki saying Wil bites her + threw her, Tommy getting his hand stomped, throwing apple at Techno) feel very valid.

But other bits I do wonder - are they just being over analysed? Yk, like with the clip of Wil shouting at Tommy for streaming + stealing his wallet, i was super sure that was staged as is (j had it confirmed now by the Twitter community note asw lol) and also, whilst Wil's shouting does feel extreme and hurtful from a viewer pov... Having a wallet stolen, place of work broken in to, litr knowing the place where you work to make all income could be taken away from u bc a friend thought it funny to break in n loudly + rowdily stream... i gotta say that some form of anger or upset is valid there. And this isn't to validate Wilbur's assholery, this is just to point out that whilst ppl are throwing clips into the fire and saying "this is more proof Wil was a bad person from the start" - do try see other interpretations of it and form your own line of reasoning - yk - "is this a valid point or is this someone using the drama to get some extra likes and attention to boost their account" (because believe me, ppl would - if ppl would use Techno's death to get more channel views and interactions - ppl would also most definitely use abuse as a means to engage more ppl).

Aaaaaand let's talk about the little Lovejoy band. Ngl i fucken loved their stuff, quite sad to see it go down the drain because 3/4 of them are public targets, now.

So ik we hate Wil for being an abuser. And I've seen that ppl dislike Mark bc he supported Maccies (what did he do fr tho bc i have no clue - did he j eat a McDonalds or what?) And we hate Ash Kabosu for saying it's bad to make fun of those deaths on the submarine...

Controversial opinion but I don't blame Ash allat much??? Now imma explain myself - but pls understand that i don't knoe 100% ab the situation, im v detached from the MCYT sphere of the online community.

But hear me out.

I'm a big believer in cherishing life, life is v important, life is a blessing.... Not from a rly religious pov, moreso in a spiritual way. Because if we only get one life, fuck, it's pretty damn precious. And whilst all those Oceangate memes were haha heehee funny watches, at the end of the day, people did die. And I do find that quite sad.

People say it's fine to laugh and make fun of those who were in there and died bc they were just billionaires who went down there for their own personal entertainment.

Just because they're billionaires doesn't make them any less human than us? Sure, they have a lot more money and are probably a lot more detached from working class issues which the majority of the population faces... But their drowning will have hurt and caused just as much pain to them as it would to us if we were in their situation. And my god, I can't even begin to think about the pain their families must have felt.

Those deaths were a fucking tragedy, realistically - and maybe i'm 'overreacting' here - but c'mon, empathy is literally encoded into our DNA as humans, surely I'm not the only one that can see the heartlessness in just laughing and memeing those deaths?

So Ash Kabosu haterism I don't fully understand, is the conclusion of that sub-rant.

And then I think this is the final little bit I'll discuss considering this is a loooong post:

James Marriott.

Jimbo Mazza, Jimbatron, James Marriott.

Lowkey my big flex, I've been a fan of him since 2020, and I got into his hater-commentary content initially. And ngl, when he transitioned to Minecraft? It was so fkn obvious he was trying to tailor to the MCYT audience to get their approval and entrance into the MCYT community, it made me absolutely cringe - and the blindness of everybody to that fact was insane to me.

Like, he was literally beegggging to be added to SMPs, he'd try and portray this "uncontrollable, quirky" character and would be so "unhinged" that everyone would love him... But ngl, that shit was literal brainrot, and he had you guys (me included tbf, bc i'd watch - just cringing whilst watching) ROTTING your brains with spamming the chat w allat bs that u do on Twitch

Nowadays, I like James tho. I feel like he feels ingrained enough within the community to branch out and not have to play up to the disturbing, disgusting cringefest - and so now he's funnier and having a better time streaming.

I mean, he looks absolutely great too - his tours have him confidence-boosted (rightfully so), because he's in great shape, like, he's genuinely lost noticable fat and put on muscle which has him looking trim as ever - he's grown his hair out into a flattering mullet - Shit, i believe looksmaxxing is the boy-equivalent of the makeup industry profiting off of womens' insecurity....

But the Jimbatron has absolutely looksmaxxed for the best.

That being said however, people saying "I OFFER JIMBO AS A REPLACEMENT FOR WILBUR!!" are fucking weirdos (respectfully but also kinda not)

Bro has just abused people and you're mourning the loss of a content creator and oh no - your favourite band - so you're trying to serve up replacements like a fucking chef that's ran out of a specific ingredient??????????

Yeah, James is less problematic and has 2x the personality Wilbur has- BUT WHY DOES IT TAKE WILBUR COMING OUT AS A FKN ABUSER FOR PPL TO START PROMOTING JAMES????

This is like that whole thing whereby ppl put other girls down to point out to success or beauty of other girls: it takes everyone noticing how bad Wilbur is, to point out the goodness of James.

James litr banned people who wouldn't stfu about Wilbur in his chat in early streams, bc he was sick of ppl following him for Wilbur and who just wanted to talk about Wilbur on James' platform.... I don't think James rly wants to share an identity, or have his platform built from being against Wilbur.

Not proof read this post fully. But take-aways from this: -Yeah Dream is cooking Wilbur on Twitter but don't forget he's an alleged groomer + is deffo using this as a way to get back into the audience's "good books" -RIP Lovejoy but some1 explain what Mark did fully + why ppl think Ash is so abominable for showing empathy to ppl dying -Rmbr that this is acc a serious crime, don't downplay ts -Stop fucking promoting James Marriott thru Wilbur's downfall, it rly discredits James' authenticity and original building of a community -So proud to say that after a few months of getting into MCYT stuff i felt as though Wilbur was icky + just plainout didn't like him/got odd vibes -And lol, acc so jarring how Wil reminds me of this guy in my yr - complete mummy's boy, underestimates and belittles women bc his mum handed everything to him on a plate n so he doesn't empathise w them but rather expects the world from them whilst simultaneously treating them like shit, 'radical', extremely 'woke' about modern situations but is so stubborn and refuses to see two sides of a picture.... Tbh I might j hate the guy in my yr and be projecting that onto Wil

Btw, feel free to argue w me in my inbox ab this but whilst i was quite critical - pls do not be mean to me or criticise me that harshly - if im talking to some1 one on one, i won't be this mean

(ALSO ANON, SORRY BC I WAS QUITE RUDE IN THIS REPLY BC I LOWKEY FORGOT I WAS REPLYING TO U, I WAS IN MY OWN HEAD AB WAFFLING AB SHELBY N WILL, LY AND TY FOR ASKING AB IT THO BC I DEFFO NEEDED TO WAFFLE AB IT SOMEWHERE)

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casinoroyale · 5 months

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Hi everyone!! Theseus cquackity viceduo zombur revivebur here.

This blog has seen several hiatuses (my bad seriously my bad), and bouts of irregular posting. So I'm sure people who regularly check it have noticed that we (Fiona @quackbur and I) haven't been posting daily anymore and haven't for a bit now. So below the cut I'm gonna talk more about that, and our plans for this blog going forward

For starters, I love roleplaying on this blog so much, as does my cohost Fiona @quackbur. Fiona has done so, so much writing for this and I feel kind of bad for taking her credit over the past two or so years, so props to her for being such a good sport and for everything she's done. This blog wouldn't exist without the shared passion she had for it.

To get sappy, I love the friends I've made in bedrockverse, they remain some of my best and closest companions. I would not trade the times I've spent with them for the world. Beau, Holly & co, Met & Co, and Thunderbottles are some of the loveliest, most supportive, and insanely talented people I have ever had the pleasure of writing with and meeting.

This includes people who aren't part of the bedrockverse that I've written with!! Shoutout to Javi anonymous-jey casino-duckling, TGM the-g-m duckofthelaw, and AD anonymous-dentist therealnoodleman. It was so much fun bringing all the quackverses together, and I respect all of you so much as writers.

AND that also includes EVERYONE who has interacted with her!!!!!!!!!! Everyone who has sent asks (thank you so much, sorry we're terrible at replying), reblogged threads, commented, posted/liveblogged, DREW FAN ART (BLOWS OUR MINDS. THERE'S BEEN SO MUCH INCREDIBLE ART CREATED, WE CANNOT THANK ALL OF YOU ENOUGH), even just liked a thread, thank you. Seriously, it has meant a lot to us to be part of this community, and have so many people enjoy this blog. Insert Pitbull image happy you enjoyed.

So, going forward it would make us really happy if you all pictured casinoroyale as happy. He has songbird-sunrise, goofygoop, and a nation full of citizens that she loves. She babysits for tubbolul and latenightmining, and terrorizes rp!emduo not infrequently. All we really wanted was to bring c!quackity to a happy place and I feel we've done that. Of course he still has shit days, as a ptsd baddie, but the good days are more common. And if we never get to it (though I hope someday we do, maybe in the form of a collaborative one-shot or fic) know that casinoroyale and songbird-sunrise DO eventually get [REDACTED]. And one of them DOES get [REDACTED]. That was always the plan! Yay! [REDACTED]!

Not to say that we don't have more arcs planned for this blog, because we do! I just don't know when/if/how they'll ever get written, especially because a lot of my friends have moved on from their rp blogs as well. But I really do still feel happy with where he's at and happy with everything I've done. This is a project I'm really, really proud of and I will always look back on fondly.

None of this means that I'm not interested in c!Quackity or DSMP as a whole anymore, either. Actually that couldn't be further from the truth. But now I'd like to be able to focus on fics, and other forms of writing, which I've been doing more recently :D actually, you can read a short one shot I posted for exile's anniversary HERE

If you've made it this far into this long, sappy post, THANKS!!!!!! The TLDR; this blog is on an indefinite hiatus, and won't be returning to its formal glory, and that's okay. We had a really good run. Now, off we go to other things

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irrealisms · 2 years

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if you can live your life without an audience, you should do it.

The Truman Show // MAG188 - Centre of Attention // Twitter: TubboLive // Can't Handle This (Kanye Rant) - Bo Burnham // Wilbur Soot VOD (Oct 17th 2020) - [DreamSMP] Speedy Stream Festival What festival // MAG117 - Testament // Margaret Atwood - The Robber Bride // @elytrians // MAG188 - Centre of Attention // The Truman Show (edit by @parakeet) // Untitled #15 by @that-house // something about a truman show complex, greek heroes, and the illusion of free will. by @yuker // Tom Stoppard - Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead // Bo Burnham - Inside // you're fairly certain there's a curtain somewhere by @irrealisms

[IDs under cut]

Images 1 and 2: Screenshots of the Truman Show. The Closed Captions read "Let me get you some help, Truman. You're not well."

Image 3: ARCHIVIST: Hm. You want a show so badly? Fine.

Image 4: a twitter poll by @TubboLive. text of the tweet is "What do we do..." Options are "Exile Tommy", with 55.8% of the vote, and "Don't Exile Tommy", with 44.2% of the vote.

Image 5: The truth is, my biggest problem's you/I want to please you/But I want to stay true to myself/I want to give you the night out that you deserve/But I want to say what I think/And not care what you think about it/Part of me loves you/Part of me hates you/Part of me needs you/Part of me fears you/And I don't think that I can handle this right now"

Image 6: WILBUR: You're saying "do it", chat, but you're-- this isn't-- you aren't affected, you just want to see explosions, you guys aren't affected, I understand, I understand, I-- I've been hasty.

Image 7: TIM: All right. I don’t know what you are, I don’t even know if you’re listening. I don’t care. Just, if you’re there, I want you to know that I hate you. I hate you for, for witnessing what’s happened to us.

Image 8: “Male fantasies, male fantasies, is everything run by male fantasies? Up on a pedestal or down on your knees, it's all a male fantasy: that you're strong enough to take what they dish out, or else too weak to do anything about it. Even pretending you aren't catering to male fantasies is a male fantasy: pretending you're unseen, pretending you have a life of your own, that you can wash your feet and comb your hair unconscious of the ever-present watcher peering through the keyhole, peering through the keyhole in your own head, if nowhere else. You are a woman with a man inside watching a woman. You are your own voyeur.” ― Margaret Atwood, The Robber Bride

Image 9: a tumblr post by @elytrians. text: *coughs up blood* how do i look? do i look good? was that hot?

Image 10: She had once counted how many times she could spot a camera watching her during her morning run: thirty-one in ten minutes. At least, it had been back then. Last time she had tried it there were hundreds. They tracked her movements, and made so much noise she could not have ignored them if she tried. It was halfway between the mechanical whir of a focusing lens and the low rattle of mean-spirited laughter. Carmen didn’t go running anymore.

Image 11: The last scene of the Truman Show, edited to add a twitch chat full of PogChamp emotes.

Image 12: a comic of two squares talking. RED: I realized something. BLUE: Yeah? RED: This comic could just end. Without warning. The Creator could just get bored. BLUE: No closure, no catharsis, nothing. RED: Our recent few strips would make for unsatisfying ends. Maybe we should give every comic a satisfying conclusion. BLUE: But that’s life. Life doesn’t always have a satisfying ending. RED: This isn’t life, this is a comic. We can control it. We can make sure there’s a happy ending. BLUE: We can’t control jack shit. The comic’s ending is up to the Creator.

Image 13: a comic of Technoblade. He is sitting amongst scattered papers with his hands on his face. The scattered papers have the titles of various Technoblade DSMP Youtube videos written on them. Text on the image reads: “It can hurt, knowing you’re just a character with predetermined lines instead of a person with feelings. The voices are the audience and they’re constantly critiquing your performance.”

Image 14: ROS: I wish I was dead. (Considers the drop.) I could jump over the side. That would put a spoke in their wheel. GUIL: Unless they're counting on it. ROS: I shall remain on board. That'll put a spoke in their wheel. (The futility of it, fury.) All right! We don't question, we don't doubt. We perform.

Images 15, 16: Bo Burnham stands outside a house on a stage; there is a spotlight on him. the caption is [disembodied applause] He tries to reenter the house. the caption is [disembodied laughter].

Image 17: WILBUR: It’s better to play along. Give them what they want. Put on a show. Who cares who it hurts, as long as it’s fucking—influential? God, I hate it so much sometimes, I want to scream. And then I think, would they like that? Would that be entertaining enough for them? Still have to give them their performance. Even when I was dead I was still—I rehearsed my resurrection. TECHNO: Dude, you need therapy.

#web weaving #therapists dni #a bit of a truman show complex #peering through the keyhole

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sacrus · 5 months

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Hey guys I'm feeling silly so here are my hybrid (or lack of the hybrid) headcanons (I'll split them by language)

Part 1 / English speakers (treating Quackity and ElQuackity as separete members)

Bad - Demon (not exactly a hybrid, he's straight up a demon but he's much more humane than other demons)

Fit - Human (sorry but to me FitMC of 2b2t with forever be Just A Guy™)

Foolish - totem/shark (it's complicated, he's technically just a totem but he adapted so many human mannerisms that he doesn't act like one at all)

Jaiden - avain/birb (obviously), lear's macaw/blue-throated macaw/hiacynth macaw (since I can't quite decide, but I know she's a majestic-and-blue bird, kinda getting into her Fed. roots)

Phil - avian, before used to a carrion crow but now is a new caledonian crow (since it's a more "tropical" variation, more fitting for the quesadilla island, idk how he changed don't ask me about the details)

Quackity- avian, reguler mallard (the basic one, but as a baby much more yellow and his wings never grew past the "yellow baby feathers" phase)

Charlie - slime (idk if im learning towards the "human guy with slime all over him" slime-hybrid-charlie or "literally a pile of goo with a t-shirt" one)

Mouse - demon (this time we got a human/demon hybrid not like Bad)

Niki - lynx (im kinda baised since lynxes are endangered and native to Poland which is my country but Poland and Germany are neighbours so it's not that big of a stretch, also i always thought of q!Niki as a cat hybrid so the lynx just adds flavour)

Tina - demon but tries to pass off as a maine coon hybrid (cause it's easy to hide her demon features under the maine coon's big ones except she's quite shorts so ppl are starting to get suspicious since they are pretty big cats)

Tubbo - goat (i'm sorry i can't let go of this brilliant dsmp fanon), breed: australian cashmere goat

[Edit: removed Wilbur]

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dozyrogue · 2 months

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Hey I'm an old tubbling (dsmp days) that hasn't been really keeping up with the qsmp but knows some of tubbo's lore. What's all this about a revived tubbo? If you don't mind explaining of course.

Hiii anon!! As you hopefully remember tubbo does a lot of subtle lore so the only way to understand the revival is if u get some conext before that. Sorry if it gets just a little bit rambley

I will do my best to explain but for some background ever since maybe purgatory 1 qtubbo has been spiraling. Then he got sunny and genuinely tried to be good for her. And he was!! Hes a great dad to sunny but qtubbo is very mentally ill.

Then he got kidnapped for purgatory 2 and came back significantly worse. He became very passively suicidal, like he didn't outwardly say he wanted out, but from his actions you wouldn't know any better. At least from chats pov. Like he would jump off the top of tubchunk and get downed and sunny would be forced to revive him. "Accidentally" falling off the wall when hanging with phil. Going against the eye workers and just not caring how many times he died. It was pretty bad.

He started feeling like all his friends didn't really care for him and only wanted to use him for the factories he made and the supplies he had created. Then fit and pac got together and again he got significantly worse. So because the relationship that is morning crew changed even tho they claimed it wouldn't. Tubbo started actively pushing people away. Like he would purposely be suppppper fucking annoying and loud and abrasive. It was like he was testing who would stay with him even if he was being a dick. And basically no one passed really. Like even sunny would constantly go to fit or pac or bagi. Saying she doesnt know how to help her dad, he needs help, plz help him. And they would all respond in some variation of "aaahhh its just tubbo!!! Hes fine. Hes just being dramatic." Or assume its about fred.

On top of that because of tubbos mental stability. He couldn't really help Sunny's with her feelings and mental stability.

And I wanna mention all the eggs could see him rotting away and they would mention it too their parents, but they were like "well keep an eye on him" but didn't exactly do much. At least from tubbos pov

But moving on to the new island/spawn point.

For the most part he didn't really interact with morning crew at first. He was with foolish and the town of fobo and he was so fucking happy!!!! It was awesome!! Like even sunny was so excited that tubbo was happy again. Foolish and town of fobo was a new start for him and he felt appreciated. But everything changed when create was put behind a pay wall (I love atla lmao)

So foolish got to get to work on town of fobo projects but tubbo was feeling extremely useless. He couldn't participate in the only way he knew how. create.

He felt useless without a purpose, and was trying hard to get the money for create. He had his high with the beginning of town of fobo but this new create playwall would be the star of a new low. He was once again actively rotting in front of his friends especially his daughter and only she and a few eggs really noticed. His friends would laugh and giggle that hes being dramatic. He was rotting away again in real time. Faster than before really. Tubbo was lacking purpose, he was useless in his eyes and started looking for a purpose, a reason to keep living.

How did he find that you're wondering??? By getting two lives. So one day we had a bunch of the eggos with him. One being empanada and he brought up the fact she's the only egg with one life. How that sucks and if he could he would give a life up for her. Empanada of course refuses. But he keeps going and was like "oh you know what would be really cool..... Only having 2 lives and if I die I don't come back for good." *stares at chayanne*

Empanada is refusing and hes like "naaahh it would be really fun and cool tho." She even tries to get him to stop by bringing up sunny. And he stops for a millisecond and says something like "sure she wouldn't like that too much but I'll be fine" so now he's on two lives.

The thing is tubbo was not hiding this information, like he brought it up all the time. "I have to be careful I only have 2 lives" then he lost one. "I only got one life then I'm dead dead." Feb 13 he almost lost it due to radiation (he will never escape the nuke aesthetic lol) and the next day valentines day he dies.

And I have to make it very clear tubbo keeps telling everyone hes working on one life. He only has one life. Hes doing hardcore. Everyone thought he was joking. So on valentines he went out with a group consisting of sunny, fit, ramon, phil, chayanne, chunsik, and richarlyson. They wanted to compete a dungeon together and tubbo was down for it.

Tubbo ended up making a beat with richarlyson that he ended up losing. Richas killed him, qtubbo ended up dying begging for fit to help him but he died anyway. But it wasn't like last time he didn't come back. Fit basically left immediately sunny was left just standing over her dads body in shock. Chayanne also thought he was joking this whole time but unfortunately learned that he was being serious. And phil was there to just laughing saying tubbos being dramatic lol. No one took his death seriously, like they were all joking and laughing in front of his daughter saying he was having a tantrum and would be back when create is back. The only other person who understood sunny was chayanne.

People only started takeing his death kinda seriously was after creation showed up. The eggs did at least

Now creation is a robot that a ~version of~ qtubbo made to protect the eggs. More importantly protect sunny. Especially in the event that "primary protector" aka tubbo is gone. So late during the valentines stream on phils end, creation shows up confirming that qtubbo is dead dead and hes not coming back unless creation has the proper data. His purpose. The only way to get tubbo back is to bring him back with his purpose

And now I can finally talk about this weeks streams. Creation comes and we are shown the message that was left for sunny. Saying he doesn't know how he got himself into this, and how sunny shouldnt have to hear this message. How he expects any of the adults there to care for her. He knows he hasn't been a good example of self care. But he explains that he will have no idea that he left the message, he will have no idea that the message will even exist. There's only 2 people that can show u this message, and he promises that he will make sure she will never see either of their faces. He apologizes and explains that he never expected to have to take care of anyone else. Goes on to say if he had known he was going to care for someone else he would have never signed up for this kind of "scheme" or "operation." We don't exactly know what hes talking about tho.

He again emphasizes that the friends that we have will take care of her. And how he refuses to believe that they would let anything happen to her. And tells her to keep going and have fun in life because she's just a kid. Then we were cut back to creation who finds sunny saying he needs to find people to help bring him back. They end up with a group consisting of bagi, sunny, empanada, and chayanne and they work together to get what creation needs to bring back tubbo. Its old smooth stone, form a mod, thats before the rest of the islands time. The old order creation stated. And eventually find a secret room in town of fobo, that bagi decodes a book to get the data needed to bring tubbo back. Builds a contraption and creation dies but tubbo is alive again!!!

Then we have the next stream and tubbo is back,,, but he's different-

he comes out of lava and only remembers dying and he thinks he's been gone a day at best. He learns that only fit helped sunny. He doesn't want to believe, but its mostly true. But oddly enough he plans to murder people cuz how dare people not take care of her. Hes more aggressive, he keeps making threats of murder and only sunny is safe it seems. Hes massively holding grudges as well.

they woke chayanne up and hes basically jumping on him and yelling lmao. Claims chay doesnt care cuz he didn't wake up immediately and isn't happy hes back. And like chatters know chay was genually fuck up after losing tubbo. But dude is s c r e a m i n g at sleeping chay.

Chay wakes up, they go outside and end up talking, learned he was gone a week but hes very loud not understanding the vibes of 2 depressed children who missed him very much. He keeps trying to speak but the windchimes are pissing him the fuck off to the point he rips them down. Noises in general is really pissing him off, like things that normally would be really quiet like fire places and the motor boats he gets really angry cuz he claims its really loud.

Just overall being a Menace. Like Chayanne apologized for hitting him and Tubbo was like "oh it's okay it's okay I understand but I will simply take note of that and you'll never know when I'll Strike Back." So he's threatening even the eggs even If he is joking. Qtubbo never use to do that, some.of the eggs ruined his farm and it sent him into a tirade of just talking about how things build up and up and up how they turn into large cracks in the wall and eventually the wall will break. But as he's doing this he practically yelling but aggressively. Also threatened chat saying he can prove how scary he can be lmao.

And was constantly asking people who they think the worse parent of the island is. Sunny and chay were just tryna see where he is mentally. But hes like cornering chay "DONT I LOOK FINE, IM ALL GOOD, WHATS WRONG???"

In other words hes very angry???

Fit was just existing and man's dogged on him "what you think you're so much better than me with your spit shine bald head of yours" and anytime any of the group would try and talk away from him hes just "ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT ME???" "WHATS HAPPENING, IS THIS ABOUT ME"

Oh and he keeps mentioning the little time people have left.

Like I said some of the eggs ruined Sunny and Leo's farm and he starts off calmish??? But just gets angrier or aggressive is a better term?. Planning to just stand over richas's bed and stare at him. Hes giving arg kinda need to draw that ngl.

He gets mad that the lil group of fit, chay, Sunny, and ramon for fixing the farm that the other eggs destroyed. And fit is trying to like convince him that it's okay like they're just kids it's a mistake. And fit is like it isnt your house so it's okay and tubbo is like "fit I think you're undermining my feelings how is that okay." And fit is just like "oh but it's just like a little thing so it's no worries." And this is how tubbo goes on his "chips and cracks in the walls monologue" that sums up his character perfectly.

Soooo yeeeaaaahhh revived tubbo something else

#qsmp tubbo #yes I could have constricted what I said more but I feel like that be really hard considering how tubbo presents lore #for me at least #qsmp creation #tubbo #imagine ctubbo's passive suicidel idiation but way worse #tw self destructive behavior #tw sui ideation #tw death #i know theres words wrong here and i can only fix so much #took me forever to write these i just feel like theirs so much context needed #this took me a hot minute to write #it's my magnum opus #asks #i wrote all of this and still feel like i didnt really asker the question

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peninkwrites · 2 months

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(putting my very long, very personal ramble under a readmore so folks can avoid it) (this won't include any of my plans for going forward or for my writing but I'm not going anywhere so don't worry about that. love to you all.)

A little disclaimer: If you have zero context for what I'm talking about, apologies for not explaining in depth, but this post won't be relevant to you otherwise. All you really need to know is that it seems that Wilbur Soot is an abuser, and Shubble came forward and talked about it recently. He was not named, but from what she shared, I believe that was who she was talking about. I don't say this to speculate, and if you disagree, I'm not here to argue over it, but it's enough for me personally to not to want to support him indefinitely, save for Shubble explicitly saying she wasn't talking about him.

Additionally, these thoughts are some incredibly personal and self-centered rambling. It does not reflect where my priorities lie, with supporting Shelby for coming forward above all else, but other people have said that much better than I have, and this post is really just a place for me to vent some of my feelings.

I prided myself on not falling prey to “parasocial relationships.” I didn’t get invested in the personal lives of content creators, only in their creative works. I thought this protected me somehow. I knew next to nothing about Wilbur Soot’s personal life, but I admired him deeply as a writer and empathized with him as an artist. I projected so heavily onto his character and did so for over three years. When I waited for his final dsmp stream, I felt panicked. Like my survival hinged on how he ended this story, and then he ended it in a way I could live with, and I thought I could go on loving this story and these characters for what they had been, no matter how messy the rest of the endings to follow were. His character was mine in so many ways. He had some of my problems and I gave him some of my own. I used him to process quite a bit. And now that part of myself is irrevocably tainted.

When the stuff came out about Dream, I was upset, but not betrayed. I never followed the creator and he existed only as a character to me. All I grieved then was the community his actions destroyed and most importantly the people he hurt. I planned to continue writing for the DSMP, even as I refused to follow any content involving him. It felt like a pause, not a full stop, while I ensured what I was doing did not show him any support. I also gave that character no pity and therefore the man behind him no pity, I had no personal investment in his character.

Now my response is visceral and bitter and I don’t know how to go on writing, because this character meant the world to me. I don’t know how to write about a character I truly love and see myself in, knowing the person who also loved and saw himself in that character, who created that character, has done horrible things. I don’t know how to write any of these other characters I have loved and cared for for over 3 years because he has poisoned them. All of it turns my stomach now and I feel so betrayed. The thought of his character is tainted because it’s connected to his voice and his face. I cannot separate the art from the artist both because it was the inclusion of the authorship within the story which affected me so strongly, and because there are things within the text that I look back on now and can only see that this person was always this way. I couldn’t sleep last night. I kept thinking of c!Wilbur’s line when he found out about exile, “he didn’t actually hit you though“ and his horror when c!Tommy responded that he had, that for some reason that was the turning point. The implication that it was only crossing that line, that particular type of violence, which made something wrong. Fucking disgusting.

I’ve tried to find another story before now. For the last few years, honestly, I’ve looked for something to latch onto the way I have with this one, but nothing feels the way this did. I know I’ve been clinging to something gone or at least mostly gone, both the community and the story, but I haven’t known how to let go when nothing makes me feel the same way, even when the feeling has faded and changed so much with time. This was never supposed to go on this long. Honestly, the reason I started posting mcyt stuff to my sideblog instead of my main was because I assumed I would get over it in a few weeks, delete the posts, and move on. Three years. 40 works. Over a million words. Just. Fuck.

I loved these characters so much and I’ve wrapped up my writing in them for so long it’s hard to separate the two. At this point, it feels like these characters are what allow me to write, separate from the main story, but a place where I could work things out for myself as a person and try new things as a writer. And I’ve tried so hard to feel the same way about the QSMP, but maybe it’s because we’re out of lockdown so I don't have time to watch much, or I’ve just changed more than I’ve thought, but I haven't gotten attached the way I did even when I look at the stories being built there and can see the heart in them, the storytelling, the care, just as much as the DSMP if not more. There’s no good reason for it, it just hasn’t locked into place the way this story had, having been the perfect storm of circumstances. The DSMP came to me during one of the worst years of my life, and I have loved it so much I miss that time even with all the bad it carried too.

And now this thing I have been holding onto can only make me angry, hit me with grief and disgust. Fuck, the only plan I’ve had for an original novel in years is a loose adaptation of TDDD. My senior thesis was largely a novella about two siblings with a complicated relationship, the older fatalistic, the younger brave to the point of ignorance. So even that original project has poison in it now. All of it, all of my fucking work, all of my growth as a writer, all of my writing for over three fucking years has poison in it.

I’ve felt lost as a writer for a long time and the only thing keeping me anchored was these characters. And I don’t know how to cut them away from myself and I don’t know how to cut him away from what’s left when his writing, his character, undeniably gave me so much of a spark. When I’m happy, I write. When I’m sad, I write. There's so much bad in the world right now, but I could always fall back on writing. And now my main means of escape is the grief. Far more than ever before. I know this too shall pass and all that, and this hasn’t actually stolen my ability to write, but right now it all feels so ruined. I don’t know how long it will take for me to be able to look back on what I’ve made and not feel like this. I'd maybe moved on in some ways, but not all. There was so much left I wanted to do.

If you’ve somehow read this far, know that I love this community with my whole heart. I never quite made friends with any of you, even as I wanted to, and it's felt too late for a long time now. My beloved mutuals (and followers that are mutuals in all but name) I have found so much joy with you, in what all of you have created. I wish I could hold onto that above all else, even if I’m not quite sure how. I’m not going anywhere, to be clear. I won’t delete my blog and fall off the face of the earth or anything. I still love what all of you create and care about, even if things have changed and our interests don’t always align anymore. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to detach this story from the creator, to love any of it the way I did or even love what I myself created again. I don’t really know why I’m writing this or if I’ll even post it except for the fact that you all are the only people who could understand.

Again, this was a deeply personal rant, not a statement about the situation as a whole, nor do I think this situation's impact on me takes an ounce of precedent over the person actually involved. The most important takeaway from this is what Shelby has shared, the importance of believing victims, to do what we can to protect ourselves from abuse that doesn’t seem obvious, and to look out for each other. Take care of yourselves, everyone.

#spilled penink #fuck i don't know what to tag this.#wilbur situation #abuse tw #ask to tag #I don't know about my current fics or what I plan to do going forward so don't read this looking for answers on that.#honestly i just had nowhere else to put this. this is something I would have ideally shared just with close friends #but they'd have no idea what I was talking about so here we are. desperate times.#sorry for the doom and gloom. i know there's been a lot of it as of late. please feel free to keep scrolling.#idc if people reblog. this is just. not the important thing right now yknow.#supporting shubble is all that really matters.

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