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riv-kai · 4 years

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Hope everything is going well for you these days. What with the mass panic and virus mess.

Thank you so much my Anon friend, I feel like this is meant to be because I haven’t known where or how to share the thoughts I’ve been having, so thank you for checking up on me and giving me a reason to speak up.

Before you read on, I want you to know I’m fine and I’ve been through much worse before this, I know this is just temporary so I haven’t given up hope. And I don’t expect anyone to reply or read this, I’m just giving my thoughts a voice so I don’t make myself feel worse by keeping it inside.

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I’m having trouble communicating how this time period feels. Not everyone knows this, but I have multiple chronic illnesses, and have had them for all of my life after a medical-related injury that weakened my immune system at 18 months old. This allowed Lyme disease and co-infections (passed down from a parent who was unaware they had it) to come out of dormancy and take over my body in a time of immune weakness. From then on, it got worse and worse until it fully hit me when I got food poisoning and H1N1 in the same couple of months in middle school. At 16, after what felt like a full life of struggling to survive, I was finally diagnosed with Lyme disease. This means it was chronic, because hello, I have been on more antibiotics than my whole family combined and that didn’t even TOUCH it despite the CDC’s claims that a 30 day round should do it. I still had lyme spirochetes in my blood at 18 and a relapse I had to treat at 23 after aggressively treating Lyme and it’s co-infections for 9 years. Nine. In a youthful, fast-recovering body. The US government is the only country that no longer recognizes this disease to be “chronic,” claiming it’s a residual “post-lyme disease syndrome” as an excuse to say we don’t want to study your complex chronic disease and would prefer it didn’t exist because it’s a business obstacle for us. And despite having proof of the pathogen in my blood chronically, they won’t acknowledge its existence all because of some petty controversies and that we are now a liability to them. They won’t make insurance pay for your perplexing and unpredictable disease... if doesn’t exist to them. When their treatments don’t work and we are no longer profitable to Big Pharma, we are erased and become part of a silent epidemic. At the end of the day, all they had to do was be honest, even just with the fact that they haven’t researched enough to understand the big-scary-bug. But of course that’s a big ask from a big system.

At my very best, my body can’t work or live like abled bodies can, and if I force myself to (because I desperately want to) I always crash and burn. All because of pathogens. And I don’t want you to fear pathogens or give me a pity party. I’m someone who says fuck the system and believes I can continue to heal despite so many doctors giving me bad news throughout my childhood. I’ve already beaten the odds and am proud of it, so this isn’t about me. Right now, I just want someone out there to see what is happening surrounding another pathogen and to pay attention.

I never expected the whole world to understand any bit of how it feels to be at the mercy of a pathogen. Some people will act like you’re being dramatic, faking it, or that “even if it is bad, it’s not that bad because only the weak people die.” Listen, even if you don’t die (I barely survived a few times) that mindset totally discounts the trauma and suffering that lives with you forever. It doesn’t matter if you don’t die. This shit sucks. So now, I’m grappling with many things: wanting to help people through the beginning stages of processing this despite being decades ahead in processing it and sick of thinking about it, being wholly frustrated with those who STILL openly treat disabled people as expendable goods instead of human beings, and ultimately feeling like even if I did explain, it might only make people feel hopeless. However, these are all fear-based thoughts.

The truth is that I know what I’ve experienced for the past 24+ years, even if no one else ever can understand it or believe me, and these experiences helped me understand how pathogens and infections work from an emotional and mental level, not just what it physically does to your body. And I want to help somehow, so I’ll share what I can for now.

If nothing else, I want you to only take away this — pathogens are also living things. I don’t care if I sound crazy, wholly realizing this helped me end that nine year treatment battle with Lyme disease (even if I’m still working on handling the destruction it left behind).

An infection is just as much a mental and emotional battle as it is physical. These pathogens do not have the ability to understand that they are killing the hosts they need to survive and reproduce, they just take take take. I feel like we can all sense this beneath the surface. This microscopic expression of selfishness is a source of the deep, out of control, primal urgency we’re feeling. I’ve felt it before, and they are never the only ones acting out. And this is really important — we have to stop mimicking the pathogen’s behavior in response to its behavior, trampling over each other in fear and hoarding chunks of this world’s wealth/goods that are too big for us to hold in the name of “survival.” Or pretending the outside world doesn’t exist, that “you’ll be fine, so it doesn’t matter if I go out” and spreading sickness to others. This is an exact parallel to what the pathogen behaves like.

I need you all to care with me about fellow human beings. That is our strength as a species, and we are not pathogens so we don’t have to stoop to their level. Get your helping pants on. Tell someone you love them, and spend some time with them to distract or calm their anxieties. Stay home as much as possible and fight for those people who can’t go out or people who are forced to stay in, even if they want to.

And then I need you to hold our government and long-broken medical system accountable. Please, don’t let them brush their wrongdoings over this time, now that their behavior is out in the open. Don’t let them forget what they’re doing, who they are turning away, who they are making us believe are just “a few numbers.” Don’t let this pathogen take you down mentally, either. Even if you get sick, even in a mild case, and it effects you mentally on top of physically, you are not crazy. What traditional medicine tends to neglect is that these pathogens get into your head (trust me) and it’s important to realize that so you know it’s not something you’re making up. It’s not your fault. It’s not wrong to feel hopeless or shattered or depressed or unlike yourself when you get sick, you are just ill. You need help. Deserve it. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

Take it seriously, but don’t let it take over you. This is a delicate balance and you may waver from one side to the other, but I promise it’s possible to both care and not submit to fear. Pathogens feed off of “weak” openings, and so fear and stress before you even have it is the last thing you need. Btw, no one is truly “weak,” even if you go through moments of weakness. This idea of strong vs weak is just how primal thoughts work, and pathogens are very primal so I’m explaining through their instinctual “perspective” as a species.

And I’m not sure what I can do about this, but I don’t want more people to live like I did growing up. I want people to see what I’m seeing now, decades later, that there is actually hope. There is more to society than a government that treats its people like business deals. We are more powerful than we feel. We are capable of fully caring about each other, even if it’s just through one anonymous message on the Internet.

———

I’m sorry if this made no sense, especially in response to an anonymous message, but thank you again for being here. I hope you are staying indoors if you can, and are safe and healthy to the best of your ability. I know it’s hard even if you are healthy, and there is so much that can feel out of our control in response to illness, but what’s new and a possible hope for me is that we are not alone in this experience this time. I hope you can feel the love even from miles away, I’ll try to make an extra effort to show I care.

#anonymous #inbox

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sanerontheinside · 6 years

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Hi! You mentioned in one of your posts that you're taking a class that makes you think about the relationships between American school and American government, and that sounds a lot like a class that I would be interested in. What class is it? I'd like to see if I can find something similar. I'm trying to train myself to think critically about debate and politics and culture and... all the things that help people understand complex issues. Do you have any other suggestions of places I could go?

Hmmmmm…. This is… going to be a bit difficult.

Ok, for one thing, it’s a grad course at my local university, and the program I’m in is Masters of Arts in Teaching. It’s not really one out of a standard class set.

For another: while the class has spent some time focused on how government, democracy, and policy affect schools, the actual goal of the class is to examine how media representation presents schools, and how that affects people’s attitude towards schooling and teaching.

However, I can probably recommend some reading.

Here’s an online course I am kind of curious about. It sounds more relevant to what you’re looking for than my class, I’d say. You will be able to audit the course (the certificate for a verified course usually costs some money, but the audit is free).

Check out other courses on edX, too: it’s a good site for online learning, basically a pool of free online courses made public by various universities. (Harvard also offers a course on American Government, which I’m enrolled in for shits and giggles, but haven’t done more than take a cursory look at thus far.)

Here’s a link to a google drive folder that contains some articles from my class, if you’re curious. I would say some of them are pretty good reading, but I’ve listed a basic summary of each one I uploaded below the cut. I haven’t gotten to all of them yet, though, so I can’t actually be 100% accurate about what’s in each.

Now, of course, since it’s academic writing, quite a bit of it is pretty dry and dense, which especially applies to the first three listed here:

The Hochschild files (read): discuss how, in theory, education and democracy/social structure should interact and better each other.

(A required text for my class, one which unfortunately you have to pay for: Is Everyone Really Equal? by Sensoy and DiAngelo)

(if you’re curious, that link is for Teacher College Press, they have an ebook for a grand total of $27.96. They’re also the only ones I’ve seen offering an ebook. You will need another app, though, to actually read the file: ADE)

Anyon is a study of 5 elementary schools which shows how education is stratified by social class.

Brookings “Big Government” explains (loosely) how the government funds programs.

Democracy and Freedom (FH-FITW) index (read): these are pretty clear, though—it’s the study that compares democracy and freedom between countries. You might’ve seen a post running around tumblr that says, for a country with such a loudly touted democracy, the US sure scored a bit low—this is that source.

American Citizenship “Counting on Character” is an article on a charter schools

Larabee (read): is about the differences between public and private education. This one plays into our actual course goal a bit, because the entire business of school reform is criticised right there on the very first page, as it’s a very media/propaganda-directed process.

Measuring Democracy (read): is godsawful dry. This was mainly assigned to give us an idea of how many types of democracy there are actually. As such, our assigned reading was pg.253-end, so, don’t fall asleep.

A couple of nytimes articles are listed: First Amendment Support and Preparing Students for a Complex World (read), highlighting some interesting generational differences between current teachers/adults/millennials and Gen Z kids. Surface stuff, tho, like our preferences for social media, concern for privacy, and interpretation of the First Amendment—less about why these differences exist.

Parker Against Idiocy (read): before you go getting any ideas about what idiocy is, in the context of this paper—

Idiocy shares with idiom and idiosyncratic the root idios, which means private, separate, self-centered — selfish. “Idiotic” was in the Greek context a term of reproach. When a person’s behavior became idiotic — concerned myopically with private things and unmindful of common things — then the person was believed to be like a rudderless ship, without consequence save for the danger it posed to others. This meaning of idiocy achieves its force when contrasted with politēs (citizen) or public. Here we have a powerful opposition: the private individual versus the public citizen.…An idiot is one whose self-centeredness undermines his or her citizen identity, causing it to wither or never to take root in the first place.

Putting Democracy Back into Public Education (read): bit of an economic perspective, and a focus on why democracy should be a focus in schools.

Westheimer and Kahne: more on what makes a good citizen

Young Citizens and Civic Learning: another research paper, on how to teach civics in the digital age.

To be honest, I don’t know precisely how much these readings line up with your interests? They’re mainly theoretical, and mostly geared towards pedagogy. Some make for pretty good reads, tho.

I’ll probably add some more as we go through the class, and as I do my own research, but I’m leaning more towards curriculum structure/design at the moment. Plus, there’s the finicky part where my content area is mathematics… and that’s not… precisely… very policy related.

… CORRECTION: Math content is heavily politicised and people keep trying to regulate math education and curriculum structure and keep trying to reinvent the wheel, here. But in the more general sense, while it’s an example of policy impacting schools and teaching, it’s less about government control of a school as a whole.

Basically what I was trying to say there was it’s less relevant to my class, but it would serve as a good, and very in-depth case study, if you were looking for a very specific example.

The things to keep in mind: what you’re looking at is a highly intersectional topic. So many things have an impact on the way we teach: media reporting on teaching and current events, economic goals and its current state, policy, etc.

Fun fact: you know how we rank countries by the number of students who pass standardised exams out of high school, yeah? Well. A side-by-side comparison of the exams and the topics tested actually shows that the questions European countries consider ‘qualifying’ are easier: they test lower-level topics than the US exams.

What does that tell you?

It’s a stupid, non-standardised study, your groups are non-comparable, your variables have no damn relationship to each other.

But someone reports that the US is lagging behind in Math and STEM becomes a huge deal and Music and Art programs are poorly funded and businesses like Pearson benefit because they have a monopoly on tests, and we push kids into STEM fields because that’s feeding the current job market to bloating while telling them they can’t get a job with a liberal arts degree.

Furthermore, education is an immensely powerful tool. It has been used (still is!) to destroy upward mobility for the working class, for people of colour, for people in poor rural areas. You can harm so many people by simply not mentioning something (erasure), and hey, it’s not like teachers get much time anyway because they’re supposed to be preparing their students for qualifying exams that permit the kids to advance to the next year.

And let’s not forget that at some point it was a popular notion that these exam results would be used to control teachers’ pay. The exams weren’t even designed to be used for that.

So, everything you’ve ever learned about setting up scientific studies and doing statistical analysis? Yyyyeaaah… well the current White House sure ain’t heard of it, you can bet your last dime, but whoever was doing studies on education before them also sure as shit was not the CDC.

Just.. every now and then, stop, breathe, throw out everything you know, and then keep going.

#brrrrppppfffft... the new life of saner?#education and pedagogy #reading and resources #stuffs #have fun?#this is probably too much Stuff #I'm sorry #Anonymous

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potr1774com · 6 years

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A lot of these high schoolers, liberal arts college grads, unmarried, childless, government dependent, emostionalistic voters fail to get and in many ways can not understand is WHY gun owners refuse to just ‘give up’ their guns. Most of them can’t figure out why anyone wants to or needs to own a gun in the first place. I a country that pampers them and has provided for all their needs its is hard to imagine why. When their worst day is a first world problem and the feeling of being poor amounts to not having enough to buy your fave venti latte from Starbucks. Godforbid they had to eat Ramon noodles in college, oh the inhumanity. Getting off topic. So to spell it out for all the brainwashed, ignorant and self righteous gun controlers/grabbers: This is WHY AMERICANS have guns.

FREEDOM. Our inalienable right to defend ourselves. We are FREE to use the proper tool that exerts the proper force equal to the force that can be used against us and subdue the attacker. We are FREE to do that and we should be. Benjamin Franklin said it well: “They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.” – Benjamin Franklin, Historical Review of Pennsylvania, 1759

CRIME. The streets of Chicago, Detroit, Memphis, and all those regions of the country where gun control has essentially disarmed anyone from being able to defend themselves. Thus, criminals and all those willing to break the law, know this. Hence, the immense crime rate in areas where people are most defenseless. Tomas Jefferson hit it spot on when he stated: “The laws that forbid the carrying of arms are laws of such a nature. They disarm only those who are neither inclined nor determined to commit crimes…. Such laws make things worse for the assaulted and better for the assailants; they serve rather to encourage than to prevent homicides, for an unarmed man may be attacked with greater confidence than an armed man.” – Thomas Jefferson, Commonplace Book (quoting 18th century criminologist Cesare Beccaria), 1774-1776

FAMILY. The lives of my spouse and children are vastly more important than my own, and ensuring their security and defense is an inherent duty. It is OUR duty to defend and subdue all violent attacks on our family. George Washington stated: “That no man should scruple, or hesitate a moment, to use arms in defence of so valuable a blessing, on which all the good and evil of life depends, is clearly my opinion.” -George Washington, letter to George Mason April 5th 1769

THE HEART OF HUMANITY. We recognize the truth that this world is not perfect, and evil exists. Humans do evil things against each other. Thieves, robbers, assaulters, addicts, and people with uncontrollable personal issues that compels them to engage in actions that hurt, harm, ruin, and kill other people they come in contact with. THIS is unstoppable and has been a part of human society since the first humans walked the earth. Due to this inherent nature, a self defense that is equal or greater to subdue the evil is also recognized as necessary. The greatest being to ever walk the earth, Jesus Christ, stated this: “And He said to them, “But now, whoever has a money belt is to take it along, likewise also a bag, and whoever has no sword is to sell his coat and buy one.” – Jesus, Luke 22:36. Why would Jesus of all people tell his followers to arm themselves and buy a weapon? Jesus then states: “For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed the evil thoughts, fornications, thefts, murders, adulteries…” Jesus, Mark 7:21. God, spoke through The Apostle Paul when he stated: “There is none righteous, not even one; There is none who understands, There is none who seeks for God; All have turned aside, together they have become useless; There is none who does good, There is not even one.” – Paul, Romans 3:10-12.

There is another reason that is at the core of why The Founding Fathers of the most powerful and greatest nation on earth included the 2nd Amendment. This is not really taught in schools and people or view the government as mommy and daddy will obviously disagree. Which is also the result of growing up in a such a spoiled and pampered luxurious society.

“I prefer dangerous freedom over peaceful slavery.” – Thomas Jefferson, letter to James Madison, January 30, 1787

George Washington put it best when he stated: “A free people ought not only be armed and disciplined, but they should have sufficient arms and ammunition to maintain a status of independence from any who might attempt to abuse them, which would include their own government.” Now lets look at a section of the Declaration of Independence: “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. — That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, — That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government…” The Declaration of Independence, In Congress, July 4, 1776. Not only is it the duty and responsibility of the people to secure these inalienable rights but it is ALSO a right to alter, abolish, and institute a new government “whenever any form of government becomes destructive” to these rights. Ready for the primary reason for the 2nd Amendment?

FREEDOM TO DEFEND AGAINST ANY FORM OF GOVERNMENT THAT ATTACKS OUR INALIENABLE RIGHTS.

Now considering THE HUMAN HEART (reason #4), and the government is made up of imperfect people who seek to draft imperfect laws AND in light of human history of governments; only an ignorant child would not see that an oppressive enslaving genocidal government is always a possibility.

Keeping and barring arms is no different than you locking your car doors and home door at night. When you do it, you do not see an immediate threat. No robber is standing in your front yard holding a sign saying “I will rob your house tonight”. You do it because the THREAT is a real possibility. You lock your car doors while you are at the movies because the THREAT of your car being broken into is a real threat.

An oppressive and tyrannical government is a real threat. Just look around the world now and study history. The Syrian government is gassing its own people. North Korea is starving its own citizens. China is imprisoning its own citizens for speaking freely. Wasn’t that long ago, the Taliban in Afghanistan were publicly executing who ever disagreed with them. All major genocidal governments in history, started with gun control and sought to disarm any resistance. This is the truth. These are real possibilities because of the human heart shown to us in real history.

If you notice, in every and all reasons for having a gun is this: BEST DEFENSE FOR WHAT IS MOST VALUABLE.

The use of guns for self defense have saved more lives than any safe space or gun free zone. All the mass shooters who were stopped by someone else with a gun, saved the number of lives as to the rounds left in the shooters gun. The shooter, instead of using all his ammunition on unarmed people, was stopped before he could use all his ammunition. A buried CDC report estimated that guns were used in self defense about 2.4 million times. Those 2.4 million people would have been just another victim of a crime if it was not for their ability to defend themselves. Deterrence also plays a factor.

Lets consider Court houses. What deters people from wanting to shoot up a court house? Video surveillance, silent alarms, armed security, metal detectors, entrance searches, and police response time to name a few. People are being sentenced to life in prison, receiving the death penalty, and being imposed life altering fines. Why aren’t the accused, their family, or the victims families shooting up court houses? Why is this such a rare occurrence all the while being a higher stress environment than high schools? The ability to defend against such attempts. That’s why.

The explicit observable ability to defend against an attacker is the deterrent. though, there is no full proof 100% deterrent or perfect defense. Some people are just crazy, illogical, irrational, and will just dive right into a pool with sharks after cutting their wrist. But those who are willing to violate the law BUT not risk their life, are more deterred. Shame the government of schools, counties, school districts, states, and federal aren’t willing to put systems in place to defend our children in schools like they do court houses, their political offices, and places where they store their money… But that’s another matter.

In the home and in public, gun owners are equipped to protect their spouses and children and ready to put down any attacker long before the attacker uses all his ammo on unarmed people and long before police finally arrive.

Gun Control advocates and gun grabbers either don’t understand the duty to defend their family or feel subconsciously guilty for failing or being unable to defend their family. Maybe even feel too selfish and lazy to defend their family so they would rather the government do it for them… either way, when the government starts taking away more of their rights and silencing their annoying voice… what will they have to defend themselves with?

Keep in mind, it was estimated that only 15% of the colonialist participated in The Revolutionary War… YOUR WELCOME 85% for your rights that which were secured by the 15% of gun owners willing to take a stand.

Why Most Gun Control Advocates Don’t Get It? They don’t have that great sense of anything besides themselves and their ideals to physically defend. They ‘defend’ only those who agree with their ideals and agenda, thus, still about them. They ‘fight’ for only those who agree with their ideals and agenda, thus, still about them. They are not willing to sacrifice themselves for someone else’s ideals. They aren’t willing to selflessly accept the notion that freedom includes risk. They fail to see their own self-righteousness. They fail to see their own logical contradictions and hypocrisies because they are too blinded by their obsession with pushing their own ideals and agendas. Gun Control advocates who don’t have children, do not have that innate parental instinct to protect their children at all costs, beyond themselves. Spoiled college grads not have experienced a world without their luxuries. Government dependent citizens, pampered by this system have no idea the depths a government can do.

Gun Control advocates need to spend 3 years in Syria; organize and participate in free speech rallies in North Korea; fight for womans and same sex rights in Iran; walk around the streets of Chicago and Detroit with their Gucci purse holding a sign that says “I am unarmed”; Then talk about not having the right and ability to defend yourself. They can even start now. Stop locking your home and car doors…

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#2nd Amendment #Civil Rights #Government #Gun Control #Human Rights #2A Rights #defense #freedom

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dom4prez-blog1 · 7 years

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Biology 101 and mind control

College so far has been a learning opportunity to see how brainwashed everyone around me is, from students to teachers to recognizing that the people at the top of the education system are pushing an agenda on everyone at not only Illinois State University but all universities in America. The class that I have seen the most indoctrination and non open-minded thinking has occurred in BSC 101(biology). So far we have been told so much to believe that just is not true! Whats true or not is solely up to the teacher in this class, now obviously its part of a bigger biology teaching philosophy which is implemented probably from a national level. But this truly is brainwashing.

First we learn that evolution is the only real way of our existence on this earth. THIS cut out all religious philosophies that could have been in any students mind. The purpose of that is to cut out any meaning of god, this world is being 100% turned away from god for selfish reasons that I choose to not get into because they’re my personal beliefs. Summed up this is done to have people be selfish individuals that have THEMSELVES as there own gods. This has just been implemented hard-core recently. Why do you think its called the “I”-Phone, everything is about me, me, me, no more time for god. Its a narcissistic human nature. Evolution is the least of my worries, we then were told about climate change.

Basically everyone on this planet buys into this one. This is indoctrinated into everyones brains(now from college on) for a few reasons but one is MONEY, climate change and global warming science is a huge multi billion dollar industry while all at the same time is helping the New World Order commence into a one world government or one world control structure. What their goal is, is to unite the entire world as one to fight the “problem of global warming” its all a scam. For example the EPA being in on it, how much money do you think the government makes off your emissions testing on your vehicle. Or the parts that the big companies like ford or jeep have to pay for the “clean” to protect the ecosystem. (disclaimer- yes there are things we can do to help regulate the things we put in the air- which is only important if its important to you- but in the long term its not effecting our earth as we know it, there are many reasons for things like the melting ice caps or extinction of animals, which is what the biology department uses as there data to support the claim along with the help of the falsified data from NASA which every student just naturally believes because they are never taught to question the government and its agencies). The part that bothers me the most is that in Biology 101 they do not address the other side to climate change. They don’t even mention the evidence that points to NO such thing as climate change. It only took me about an hour of researching to realize this was a scam by NASA, the evidence put out by them is skewed purposely to feed this narrative. Point is to question what you’re learning.

Next unit was human reproduction, which somehow turned into a unit on sexual assault and what is moral. This is the one unit I noticed my class wondering WTF about. Sexual assault has absolutely nothing to do with biology. Then somehow the unit turned into learning about gender roles, gender identity, gay, straight, pan, bi, its just one big gay fest in this class which is all from satan. Sodom and Gomorrah is a good lesson they should probably teach in that class. Or maybe they should tell you that the reason people are thinking they’re gay is BECAUSE IT IS FEED TO THEM 24/7. Every single TV show has to have a gay character, kids are being told in school and at home its ok to be gay, they see the political action taking place, the supreme court cases, the legalization of gay marriage and all its doing is corrupting our youth into these zombie like creatures that cannot think for themselves. Its really messed up what our world has turned into and you never realize it until you open your eyes. And the worst part about it is its happening so fast and theres really no stopping it. (not to mention what diet has to do with sexual orientation and how it effects hormones).

Next unit was about infections which basically turned into half the lecture about why you should vaccinate. Once again they’re not mentioning the many reported cases or autism, or other physical problems parents have noticed in there kids after vaccinations. NOW, the science behind vaccinations is good and to some degree works and makes sense, but now with the corrupt government and all of its agencies it has completely been taken over as an object to mass control people. I have found through research that vaccines are a major reason that cancer is so wide spread now. I have listened to congressional hearings of numerous cases of parents having issues with there kids after receiving there shots at the doctor. This is all the corrupt science going on at the CDC and even the CIA using this as a control mechanism. There is a leaked video coming from the CIA which shows a lecture hall presentation to certain individuals where they talk about purposely spreading man made viruses to change the way people can think. Why do we get twice the amount of vaccines or three times as much as other countries. The amount of vaccines children must get by age 18 is upwards of 40. Im worried about the future repercussions of linking all these medications together. The autism rate has gone up 1000% from 40 years ago. There is a correlation between the amount of vaccines and autism. Maybe there trying to cause mental defects in humans so they cannot question what our shady government is doing?

One of the most bothering part of biology 101 is that we are forced to answer a certain way on the test and they are not true questions for example: a question was something like: There is no controversy in the scientific community that climate change is occurring and the answer was true. So there is just a lot to be questioned and for kids my age who really don’t know much and don’t do research on what they’re learning I think it can be very detrimental to they’re education and there brains for the rest of there life.

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aroundshegoesagain-blog · 7 years

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Isolette or Isolation

Again, it has been embarrassingly long since I last wrote. In my defense, I have been working on this particular post for a couple of months. I have hemmed and hawed over it. Re-written it. Changed it. Turned it upside down, and then right-side up; in the effort of ensuring it would be as close to perfection as possible. This post is incredibly important because it means a lot to others aside from myself, and I did not want to post it flippantly. Here we go…

I will start by boldly saying that pro-lifers have it all wrong. If you are a pro-lifer, and refuse to see the world through the eyes of someone who has an opinion different than yours, then this blog post is not for you. You can return to your regularly scheduled Fox News propagan—er, program.

Since I was old enough to know what abortion was, I was dead set against it. Like every other pro-life, conservative Christian, I was only focused on the idea that abortion was a “baby-killer”. I never realized that it was much more than that. I did not realize, at the time, that abortions were sometimes not only necessary, but life saving. My opinion of abortion was fueled by my passion for children and the desire to be a voice for those who could not speak for themselves. Honorable, right? Not really. I was not aware that there were other voices being simultaneously snuffed out, thanks to the closed-mindedness of my fellow conservatives. I live in a state that has been conservative since it’s inception. We are surrounded by closed-minded conservative Christians who claim to be pro-life. I say claim because based on my experience, these people are not pro-life. They will do anything in their power to ensure restrictions upon women who are seeking abortions, with the goal of ensuring the baby is born. After the child takes it’s first breath, the Republican, conservative right abandons them. They want to de-fund welfare, and cut medical access for the disabled (including children). They do not believe that the government should offer assistance to those in need. This is not pro-life. This is pro-birth. This is one area where pro-lifers have it terribly, terribly wrong. I had become more involved in the politics of abortion since I realized the threat of Pence becoming our Vice President. Pence, if you were not already aware, is probably one of the most staunchly pro-life VPs in our nation’s history. He not only wants to ban the termination of otherwise healthy pregnancies, but he also wants to outlaw medically-necessary abortions. This means that if the fetus or the mother’s life is in danger, he would rather the pregnancy be carried to term and then to birth, despite the risk of either the mother or the baby (or both, in some cases) dying. This is not pro-life. This is pro-birth.

I have been a nurse for almost four years, and a pediatric nurse for nearly three of the four. In my career, I see children with life-altering conditions. I see children who have little to no quality of life due to birth defects. I see children suffer as they fall through the cracks of the DFCS system. Did their mothers ever consider abortion? I do not know. I do know, however, that the influence of the conservative culture we live in in the South is often unbearable. A woman cannot walk in to an abortion clinic most days without being bombarded by protestors. A woman has to keep her decision to end her pregnancy a deep, dark secret, for fear of being chastised or even shunned from her family. I am confident that these factors have the potential to deter a woman from making a decision about what she does for her future, and the future of her children. These factors take away her ability to control what she can do to her own body.

A woman who is career-focused, who has neither the time nor the money for a child becomes pregnant. She knows that if she brings a child in to the world, that she would ultimately have to end her career path. She would have to give birth to her child with the fear of how the child would be raised; given that she had to end her career. Will she have to raise the child on welfare? Will she succeed as a single parent? Will she ever be able to hold a full-time job in order to maintain the income required to care for her child? The decision was probably not made overnight. She probably cried herself to sleep more times that she could count. Instead of doing what her pro-life friends and family urged, she made a decision for the well-being of the child. She was not thinking only of herself. She wants children — just not right now. Not until she knows that she can provide a stable life for them both. Not until she knows that she will have a child with a man who would stay; who would want to be a father. She, in my opinion made an incredibly selfless decision. She chose to endure a procedure that could harm her; that would undoubtedly be painful. She knows that it was a life. She knows that it, if carried to term, would have been a child. That is why she did it. She did it because she did not want the child to suffer in a world of unknowns. Yes, she thought of adoption. She also thought of the potential for the child to fall in to the cracks of a flawed, careless system. She did it for the child. This will give you a look inside the heart of a woman who had to make the hardest decision of her life:

"It hurts. It hurts knowing that I’ve unintentionally hurt people. My decision apparently hurt the coworker who thought I was being flippant with my decision because she just found out that she can’t have children. My decision apparently hurt my cousin who thinks that because she’s a mother she has a moral obligation to be against abortion. My decision hurt friends who nicely – judgmentally — asked me to pray, and then believed that I must’ve heard God wrong when I shared with them what I heard from the universe. My decision apparently hurt my boyfriend for not compromising a middle ground together. I imagine that my family will hurt if I ever tell them, and my future husband will hurt for not being the first to create life with me. So, I fully acknowledge and take responsibility for the hurt that I’ve caused others. But do you want to know what really hurts?

It hurts most that my hurt doesn’t matter. My hurt doesn’t matter because my coworker never saw my countless sleepless nights pierced with anxiety and sobbing and morning sickness. My hurt doesn’t matter because my cousin isn’t aware that the majority of women who have an abortion are mothers trying to protect the sanctity or system of their current family. My hurt doesn’t matter because it doesn’t fit someone else’s preconceived notion of religion or spirituality. My hurt doesn’t matter because I’m not a man, because I don’t have a say over my own body. My hurt doesn’t matter because making this decision deems me vain and selfish and unholy and….wrong. My hurt doesn’t matter because I couldn’t find a way to compromise in the having a baby decision; my partner not realizing that there really is no middle ground option here; I can’t be half-pregnant.

Although, maybe if I had found a way to be halfway pregnant, then my hurt would have mattered. I would’ve been allowed to feel pain, I would’ve been allowed to ask for help and allowed forgiveness for taking days off when my head and belly felt like they were exploding, when the waves of nausea were relentless. Because when you mention abortion, suddenly those pains don’t matter. You’re not allowed to openly hurt, so even though I was still very pregnant and very much hurting. I had to be very quiet, very careful. I had to turn my lights off and lay my head on my desk at lunch, away, alone. Maybe I should’ve been more quiet, actually. Maybe I should’ve tucked away my instinctual personality of openness and honesty and discussion, forced aside my desire to seek the advice and comfort of friends and instead, suffered more in silence. Then I wouldn’t have hurt others. I would’ve just committed this ‘crime’ and carried it with me through life, away, alone.

Away and alone and hurt for 70 days. That’s how long I was officially pregnant. That’s how long I carried the weight of the world on my soul, carried the weight of life and death in my belly. The most real and raw and hurt I’ve ever been, only made more real and more raw and more hurtful because the 70 days when I needed someone the most is when everyone decided my hurt didn’t matter."

This story is more common than pro-lifers would care to admit. Does this story parallel every case of abortion? No. Do women abuse the procedure, receive it multiple times, and use it as birth control? Unfortunately, yes. Pro-lifers say they do not want their tax dollars to fund abortions. I do, however, want my tax dollars to help reduce the number of children who end up in the system. I want my tax dollars to fund contraceptives. I want women to have the option to prevent a pregnancy, and not have to make the difficult decision to abort. I want mothers to make decisions that are best for themselves and their family. I want the Republican men who sit in lofty government positions to stop craving the control of women's bodies. I want pro-lifers to wake up and realize that defunding programs that issue birth control will not stop abortions but will, in fact, make them worse. Women will not stop having sex because birth control is not available. They will continue in their chosen lifestyle with the risk of becoming pregnant greatly increased, therefore taking the rate of abortions up with it.

So my post does not seem so opinion-laden, here are some statistics.

Pro-lifers like to argue that abortions are killing an otherwise viable baby. Well, the CDC has news for you:

“In 2013, the majority (66.0%) of abortions were performed by ≤8 weeks’ gestation, and nearly all (91.6%) were performed by ≤13 weeks’ gestation. Few abortions were performed between 14 and 20 weeks’ gestation (7.1%) or at ≥21 weeks’ gestation (1.3%).”

In case you were wondering, most fetuses are not viable outside of the womb until approximately 24 weeks. I’ll give you a moment to connect the dots.

Ready? Okay moving on. Here’s a gem for you. I love it because it perpetuates my point that we do not need restrictions of birth control or sexual education (both provided by, ahem, Planned Parenthood). Straight from the CDC, people!!!:

“According to the most recent national estimates from 2010, 18% of all pregnancies in the United States end in abortion. Multiple factors influence the incidence of abortion. These factors include access to health care services, including contraception; the availability of abortion providers; state regulations, such as mandatory waiting periods, parental involvement laws, and legal restrictions on abortion providers; increasing acceptance of nonmarital childbearing; shifts in the racial/ethnic composition of the U.S. population; and changes in the economy and the resulting impact on fertility preferences and use of contraception. However, because unintended pregnancy precedes nearly all abortions, efforts to reduce the incidence of abortion need to focus on helping women, men, and couples avoid pregnancies that they do not desire.”

I have walked the pro-lifer walk. I have talked the pro-lifer talk. I have been to protests. I have cried over the thought of “innocent babies” dying. I get it; abortion is a hard notion to accept. But do you know what is even harder? Caring for unwanted children who end up in the system thanks to irresponsible parents; Watching a mother cry because she does no know how she is going to pay for her child’s healthcare if (when) ACA is retracted; Hearing about children dying from lead poisoning in Flint because the government is too fucking cheap to fix the plumbing; Knowing there are starving, homeless children in our country while the Republicans bitch about building a damn wall, invade sacred Native American land, sell off National Parks to the highest bidder, and conceive (pun intended) ways in which to restrict the rights of women and their ability to choose what they do to their own bodies.

Pro-lifers are pro-let’s-save-a-non-viable-wad-of-cells-but-defund-welfare-and-ACA. They want to spare a 21wk fetus with an obvious deformity that will suffer and not survive long after birth, but they want to ban Syrian orphan refugees from coming in to our country. They care more about a mother giving birth to an unwanted baby (even if it means they will end up in the system) than they do about funding sexual education and contraception. They want legal, safe abortions to end at the expense of the possibility of a woman losing her life during an illegal, unsafe one. How is a fetus’s life more important than her’s? You see, pro-lifers have it all wrong because they are not pro-life. They are pro-birth.

#abortion #pro life #pro choice

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