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ahundredtimesover · 2 years

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A Still Day or A Hurricane (06) | JJK

Pairing: Jungkook x (f.) Reader

Genre/Tags: single mom lawyer!OC x pastry chef!Jungkook; angst, fluff, smut; age gap

Chapter Warnings: foul/explicit language; alcohol consumption; artificial insemination, single parenthood, motherhood, breastfeeding; mention of a murder case, inaccurate law stuff im sry; eventual smut (18+)

Chapter Word count: 11.2k

Status: Completed

Series summary: Driven by your perfectionist attitude and need to have everything in order, you planned that by age 30, you’d have made junior partner, bought your own apartment, and have children. You achieved them, of course, and while the last bit required you to take matters into your own hands - no thanks to your ex-boyfriend who dumped you but to your best friend who directed you to a fertility clinic - you’re now a 31-year old who pretty much has her life under control. You’re ready to raise your child on your own, that is, until the 20-something pastry chef flirts his way into your heart, messing up the perfect little life you worked so hard to have for yourself.

A/N: Thank you so much for all the sweet messages and feedback to this story! Sorry I can’t get to each one and on time but I appreciate it all! Please enjoy this one.

Listen to: You Know (Ouioui), Peaches (Kai) || Playlist 🎶

Series Masterlist

You hadn’t planned on coming here.

You always enjoyed work trips outside of Seoul. There was something about the long drives, the luxuries of the hotel, and the air outside of the city that you yearn for during client meetings and events. The trip usually forces you to stop for once and focus on the scenery before you, and for a few hours, you let your mind wander to things and places it usually doesn’t travel to.

But since Heejin was born, you’d been turning down client and partner meetings and events that were more than a 30-minute drive away.

You don’t like being away from her. It’s second nature for your body to check on the baby monitor the moment you wake up, then to walk to the nursery and marvel at your sleeping little pearl holding her favorite blanket in her crib.

The need to hold her in your arms is consuming, as she’s getting bigger and heavier by the day, and it’s as if you just want to wrap your arms around her in an effort to slow things down.

You love having her close and engraving in your mind the details of her face, the flutter of her eyelashes against her skin, the little pout and furrowing of her eyebrows she makes when you try to sing or make her laugh. Her tiny hand always reaches out to your face, her baby fingers poking your cheek and sliding inside your mouth, and she laughs when you pretend to eat them. There’s a stuffed lion that Taehyung got her that she adores and can’t sleep without, and the sound of her laugh when you tickle her with it plays in your head when you’re missing her. Like tonight.

Jin’s father, a respectable lawyer himself, was supposed to give a speech on the last day of the legal convention set in Busan. It’s one you attend every year, but you hadn’t planned on doing so since you didn’t want to be away from your daughter. But after needing to fly to Japan for an emergency, the elder Atty. Kim had asked his son to deliver his speech for him, and Jin couldn’t say no.

He always told you that when it comes to speeches like this, you were always his calming presence. It’s because instead of going soft and encouraging him, you psyche him up through your tough love. He said it always reminded him that there’s a standard to reach, and yours is always so high and that challenges him.

It’s why earlier in the day, you hadn’t woken up due to the instinct of checking on Heejin; you woke up to your phone ringing and Jin’s panicked cries on the other end. It was supposed to be a day trip - get there by noon and leave right after the event ends at 4PM. You could be home by dinner time, and you could tell Heejin a story as she fell asleep.

But upon hearing your presence in the convention, his father had requested both of you to meet one of the clients who’d reached out to him the next morning, and you couldn’t say no.

Your mom advised you not to feel too down about it, as since giving birth, you haven’t been away from your daughter, and maybe drinks near the beach and a night at a luxury hotel will help you get reenergized. You’d have the rest of Sunday to be with Heejin, your mom said.

You left early in the morning and spent half of the drive bickering with Jin about how you’re now spending your weekend with him. You got to the venue, networked, and caught up with familiar faces, an impromptu meet-up with a couple of your law professors taking up so much of your time that you barely saw Jimin or your other associates in the convention; no one expected you to be there, anyway.

Don’t fucking screw it up or I’m telling your father were your last words to Jin before he took the stage towards the end of the event, and like you expected, he delivered flawlessly, looking as charming and handsome as he always is. You didn’t miss the way the lawyer next to you almost drooled and pretty much froze when Jin passed by her to sit at your side.

He’d convinced you to go with him to this rooftop bar that one of his Busan-based law school friends invited him to after seeing him earlier, and after your mom texted that Heejin is already asleep after running around the park earlier, you reckoned that a few drinks care of Jin wouldn’t hurt.

You’re not sure about that now, though, as in the time between downing your beer and seeing if Jin managed to get the number of one of the lawyers he eyed earlier, you find the doe-eyes that haven’t left your mind since the day they turned away from you, the owner walking out of the hospital door and out of your life, as you asked him to. And you haven’t heard from him since.

Even with how rushed everything today was, a part of you thought about the smallest possibility of seeing Jungkook; this is his territory, after all. But you hadn’t expected to actually see him here since you didn’t expect you’d be in this bar in the first place. You also wouldn’t be surprised if he’s good friends with the bar owner and pretty much everyone in here, too. Jungkook has always had that charm that makes anyone be drawn to him, and tonight, he exudes that and more.

He spots you and your eyes lock on each other for the briefest moment before a soft smile forms on his face, and it’s something you hadn’t expected. You’d hurt him, he said so himself, and you half expected he’d turn away. But this is the same man who showed up at the hospital, no questions asked, when your friends called him because you were alone.

You don’t know what part of him you haven’t yet broken for him to not hate you, and the moment he starts walking towards you, your heart starts beating out of your chest.

You’re alone right now and this isn’t your turf. You don’t have control out here, and this isn’t something you prepared nor envisioned. At least not here.

He’s dressed in a jacket over a half-buttoned black textured polo and ripped jeans. The belt accentuates his tiny waist, and his necklace forces you to focus on his taut chest that’s peeking underneath his clothes. The closer he gets, the more the glimmer on his face becomes clearer, and it’s when he’s standing before you that you realize the lip piercing decorating his face.

You don’t want to admit how sinfully good he looks, even more when he smiles again and slides his hands in his pockets and tilts his head to the side.

“___, it’s nice to see you again.”

You force yourself not to look at his body. Maybe it’s the lights up here, or the sun in Busan; maybe it’s the latter plus all the surfing and paddle boarding that he always said he missed the most being out here. Whatever it is, he’d gotten even more toned and tanned. There’s a radiance in him that you’re not sure has always been there. Either way, you’re glad that coming home has been good to him in that way.

“It’s… it’s nice to see you, too, Jungkook,” you say, hating yourself for stammering.

If he notices, he doesn’t say it. You don’t wanna look at his eyes for too long to know; you’re afraid of what you’ll find and of getting lost in them like before.

“You’re here with Jimin? He didn’t say you were here, too,” he chuckles.

“Oh, he didn’t know I’d be here, too, in Busan and in this bar. I arrived just this morning to accompany Jin, and I haven’t seen Park since I got here. It’s been quite a busy day.”

“Oh, alright. That explains it, I guess,” he says.

“Yeah? You think he’d tell you I’d be here if he knew?” You laugh this time.

“Maybe,” he shrugs. “Or not. He doesn’t really talk about you.”

“Well, you too, actually. Which is funny since the only time he was ever serious with me was when he told me you at least deserved a reason all those months ago,” you say without thinking much, and you’re close to wanting to disappear when Jungkook laughs in response.

“And he’s the one who yelled at me to go straight to the hospital when you were about to give birth.”

“Wasn’t it Yoongi?”

“Yoongi doesn’t yell,” he reminds you. “He was the one who called but when I said that you might not want me there, Jimin was the one who insisted that it didn’t matter. So I went.”

Everything is so casual, as if what happened over 18 months ago didn’t actually happen, as if the past year and a half didn’t just go by with neither of you talking to or asking about each other nor reaching out. You’re not sure if it’s meant to be this way, or if you’re happy that it seems so easy to just fall into the same comfort you’d gotten used to with him after everything that happened.

“Well, he hasn’t actually—”

“Jungkook!” Someone calls out.

You almost miss the way Jungkook’s face drops the tiniest bit, but he recovers once the woman stands next to him and immediately intertwines her fingers with his.

“I’m sorry I’m late,” she says, turning to face you now, her eyes bright and kind.

“Oh, a friend?” She turns towards Jungkook who nods.

“Hi, I’m Yae-won “ she chirps, taking her hand out for you to take.

She’s a pretty woman with a prettier smile, one whose presence would easily light up any room she enters.

You introduce yourself and share why you’re here. She asks if you’re alone, how you’re liking the drinks, and that you should order the bar’s famed gambas.

She laughs sweetly, too, and you see Jungkook smile whenever she does, but his eyes try to meet yours whenever you answer Yae-won’s questions, who seems to genuinely want to have a conversation. Several people greet her when they pass by, and you just know she’s that type of person, the one who makes people around her feel comfortable, welcomed, happy.

You finally see Jin emerge from the crowd, and you return his furrowed brows with pleading eyes. He knows that look, as several times when you’d felt a little off or comfortable around others, you’d give it to him, and like always, he comes and becomes exactly what you need, whatever it is.

This time, a friend.

“Hey, there you are,” he says, standing next to you.

“How was—” the woman you were trying to hit on, you meant to ask, but he shakes his head before you get the question out and whispers that she’s into women and he’s probably gonna be alone for the rest of his life.

You giggle, and you miss the way Jungkook eyes you and Jin, the same way he misses how you eye him and Yae-won looking so comfortable and happy together. Her hand travels to his chest and Jungkook’s mindlessly travels to her waist.

“Hi, you must be a friend of Jungkook’s, too. I’m Yae-won,” she says.

“Yeah, sort of,” Jin laughs and introduces himself then greets Jungkook.

“Atty. Kim,” Jungkook nods in greeting.

“You’re both lawyers? Are you friends with Jimin?” Yae-won asks excitedly.

“Yeah, he’s an associate at the firm,” Jin responds, eyes scanning the crowd. “And there he is.”

Jimin rushes to the group, a little panicked because this is the meeting he wasn’t really prepared to witness. He hadn’t expected you and Jin to come to the convention, and he definitely hadn’t expected for both of you to come to this bar, of all places. He didn’t hear from either of you today and the last minute arrangement is probably why.

“Jimin!” Yae-won greets as she hugs him. “It’s been a while. I just met your lawyer friends.”

“Yeah, I see. Hi, Kook,” he smiles at the younger man a little nervously.

Jungkook nods in greeting, suddenly feeling the air grow thick. Ironically, it felt much more comfortable during those few minutes when it was just you and him. But with Yae-won next to him, Jin next to you, and Jimin quite literally in the middle, it feels a little too awkward; suffocating in this open air, if he’s being honest.

Yae-won smiles through the tension, something you feel built up as your conversation of two turned into a party of five. You wonder if anything makes her uncomfortable, and you think perhaps she doesn’t know about the history between you and the man next to her.

Someone howls her name, and she turns to a cackling group of people you assume is Jungkook’s crowd here. And Jimin, apparently, as they call his name, too.

She waves at them then faces you, eyes still bright with what seems like perpetual joy. It’s the way she effortlessly carries herself, her whole persona that screams easygoing and comfortable, that tells you that she’s nothing like you, and that maybe, this is the kind of woman Jungkook needs.

She’s full of youthful energy, amiable in how she engages with you, and affectionate with how her hand just naturally finds his - not in a possessive way, you can tell, but one that screams she’s happy he’s there, like she wants him there.

“Our DJ friend is here,” she smiles at you. “Sung-hwan has the best beats! Join us on the dance floor, okay? We’re gonna make these two have a dance off.”

“That would be a nice show,” Jin smirks. “But we’re good out here. It was a tiring trip and all.”

“Oh okay,” she looks legitimately sad. “If you need anything, just let us know, okay? The bartender was my college roommate so I can ask her for something on-the-house.”

You nod and say your thanks, then she takes Jungkook and Jimin’s hands and drags them to the dance floor, the group from earlier hooting at them when the men sway their bodies as they approach. You sit on the chair that Jin pulls out for you, and you hum when he asks if you’re okay.

Two bottles of beer arrive at your table not long after, and you search for Yae-won who’s giving you a thumbs up, and you lift your drink in cheers to her. She’s stunning and kind and you hate the crack it makes in your heart at the thought that she’s probably someone who could give Jungkook the world, like you say you wanted for him.

You and Jin engage in shallow talk. Outside of work and the sexual tension, you two are actually good friends, especially when you’re not trying to bite each other’s heads off.

But he can sense you’re not in the mood, so he goes on asking how Heejin is doing, if she still fake cries then laughs after she falls when running, and you laugh when he comments that even your own child likes annoying you. He wonders if she still tries to bite your face, if she’s terrified of cats like you are, and if she enjoys the boyband music that you constantly play in your home. You like how he asks. Work has been tough on him, and you both haven’t had proper conversations in months.

“She bops her head to Hanson and jiggles when New Kids is on. My kid’s got taste,” you say proudly, earning you a chuckle.

“Debatable. While I do understand their appeal, whoever genuinely appreciates them and appreciates you appreciating them is endgame, ___. Trust me,” he cocks his eyebrow.

“Actually, Ju—” you stop yourself a beat too late, and you were close to saying how Jungkook sat through an entire afternoon of you showing him the lowest quality music videos of Backstreet Boys and The Moffatts that you could find on YouTube.

You went about the technicalities of how both are considered boy bands when the other one dances and the other one plays instruments, and you ended up narrating the history of boy groups, and how you’d cried to breakup songs growing up before you even had a boyfriend. When you were young, your mom’s sister was working in the US, and she always brought you cassette tapes and posters every time she came home to visit.

Jin just hums but doesn’t say anything about you almost slipping, knowing that if you reminisced, it wasn’t because you wanted to.

Memories are like that sometimes.

What if’s are like that sometimes.

You clear your throat, trying to rid yourself of the embarrassment by looking around, and the sight that catches your eye is one you wish you hadn’t seen but also, one you just couldn’t look away from.

The music is slower, and perhaps that’s why Jungkook had taken to settling his hands on Yae-won’s waist to move with the beat, and that’s when she takes them and wraps them around her. He follows, his lips moving close to her ear. She laughs, and it’s probably a joke he said or a cheesy line he blurted out, but she’s happy. He’s happy.

Whatever you dreaded about coming here and seeing him came true, and oddly enough, a part of you is glad you’d witnessed it all. It reminds you that you did what you had to do, and it had ended well for him, too. If she’s his endgame, then you’re satisfied that you had even a small part in it.

Jin follows your gaze, his heart breaking for you, because much as you won’t show it, he knows this is hurting you.

Sometimes it’s not just about losing someone. Sometimes it takes seeing someone else having what you used to have, or could’ve had, to make you realize that you wanted it all along. And just how much. He would know.

You can’t tear your eyes away from the scene. Somehow your brain thinks it’s better to engrave this in your mind so that it’s easier to accept reality, because you realize now that much as it stings, it’s the version of Jungkook you’ve always wanted to see - happy, carefree, content. Loved.

You don’t realize that Jin’s been calling your name until you feel slender fingers against your chin, tilting it to face him. He holds it there, slightly caressing your cheek, and his eyes are sympathetic, soft, as if he knows what it feels like. And you know he does.

“You can look away now,” he says.

You smile, knowing he’s just looking out for you. His hand settles back on the table and he starts talking about his earlier attempt at getting one of the lawyers’ numbers, and you laugh at his storytelling ability and soften at how he’s trying his best to keep your mind off of things.

But your eyes still wander, and if this were Yoongi, you know he would’ve pulled you out of this bar already and had you get a massage in the hotel or something.

Jin sighs, knowing you’re choosing to let this sink in and face whatever emotions you’re feeling. “So… he really is your Sung-kyung, huh?” he asks.

He’s referring to the woman he let go because he didn’t want to give up the comfort and control he had over his life. He concluded he was a coward, and it takes so much for one Kim Seokjin to admit such weakness.

“He might just be,” you sullenly respond, accepting defeat.

“Well, at least he’s not engaged,” Jin bitterly chuckles, and you know this is him still letting the news sink in, facing the emotions he’d been trying to bury.

“I’m really sorry about that, Jin,” you sigh, remembering how you were on a video call with him and Yoongi until 4AM not long ago, both of whom were drinking their asses off “to heartbreak” after going to a law school batchmate’s party where Sung-kyung was there with her fiancé.

“Nah, it’s okay. I was scared of a lot of things back then,” he shrugs. “I was scared of what I’d become, what she’d become, if we’d work out, if I could give her what she deserved, if I could really commit to her… I was a mess. She probably knew that. And good for her. I probably wouldn’t have made her as happy.”

“Hey,” you slap his hand that’s resting on the table. “You give me a headache sometimes but you’re a good man, Jin. I’ve no doubt that you would’ve made her happy, too.”

He shakes his head as he finishes the whiskey he’d earlier ordered. “Well, there’s no way of knowing now, do we? I made my choice years ago, didn’t get over the fear, stupidly waited for her to come back, and now we’re here. There’s nothing else I can do. She’s leaving next week and getting married in some pretty castle in Europe in 2 months. I wish her a good life.”

“Not used to you accepting defeat, Jin,” you say.

“Me too, but this was all me. I don’t have an excuse,” he replies, and this version of him is one you haven’t really seen.

He’s always been well-mannered but fierce in the courtroom, kind outside of it, amusingly cocky and funny most times, but he takes responsibility, too. He knows he messed up, and there’s no one else he’d blame.

“What about you?” He asks.

“What about me?”

He cocks his head to the direction where Jungkook and Yae-won are. “It’s not too late for you, you know?”

“He’s made a home here,” you point out. “And did you see her? She’s gorgeous and she seems great. The kind who wouldn’t give you a headache. She’s so easygoing and fun and if it wasn’t such a bitch move, I'd probably befriend her. I have too many cynics and pain in the ass friends back home,” you chuckle. “Besides, I broke his heart. I don’t have the right to want him anymore.”

“Yah, don’t say that. You were both very different people back then,” he states.

“Yeah. He was a guy fighting for my affection and I was an anxious pregnant woman. And now, he’s happy with his pretty girlfriend and I’m happy with my beautiful child. Win-win. We got what we both wanted,” you try to comfort yourself. “He’s moved on as he should,” you reason. “I’m the one who doesn’t have a place in his life anymore.”

“Fuck, I hate seeing you like this,” he whines, and you laugh at how genuinely distressed he looks. “I’m booking you a massage in the hotel right now. Clear the knots and bolts in your body and maybe your heart and your mind, too, alright? And you can’t say no or else I’m telling Yoongi.”

“Fine, fine,” you playfully shake your head, touched at how he’s doing his best to comfort you throughout all this, even if he’s the reason why you’re in this position in the first place.

He gets the bill and you argue over your insistence on paying for your share - with him winning - and Jin guides you through the crowd of mild drunks and dancers to get to the exit.

You’re busy trying to look for Jimin in the sea of people, and in your preoccupation, someone bumps into you and you hiss at the person’s shoulder hitting your back, the contact causing you to lose your footing and fall towards Jin’s firm chest. You reflexively hang onto his wide shoulders, and you laugh at his remark of them finally being put to good use.

His hand holds your waist as you regain your balance, and being so close to him, you’re reminded of how breathtakingly handsome he is, with his plush lips and his hair parted to the side. But it’s his tender smile that gets to you, comforting you in a way that you needed tonight.

And if there was anyone you had to be with right now, as the aftermath of your decision to let Jungkook go hits you in the face, you’re glad it’s Jin. He understands, and he will spoil you.

You both make your way out of the bar then video call Yoongi in the car on the way back to the hotel, being greeted with a slew of curses as you wake him from his slumber, but he’s all ears when you tell him what happened until you and Jin separate to head to your rooms.

You end the night with a call with your mom and siblings who were on Heejin duty today, followed by a 2-hour massage, letting the knots and bolts in your body melt away. The ones in your heart will take time, but that’s something you can work with.

You hadn’t realized you needed to move on from something, and that last image of Jungkook with his lips pressed against Yae-won’s is exactly what you needed.

The branch of Blue Side in Busan is just as you imagined as a seaside cafe. It’s smaller than the one in Seoul but the interior is smartly designed to fit a good number of customers, adding to the allure of the place because it facilitates conversations among strangers.

You wanted to pass by before you left in support of Hobi, as he couldn’t stop talking about this place. The photos don’t do justice, and it’s really as refreshing as he described.

He called last night to remind you to visit, subtly mentioning that Jungkook is off every Sunday, and that the young new employee, Woo-shik, should be handling the counter; he’d been instructed to have your and Jin’s orders on-the-house.

You know he wasn’t lying and he didn’t plan on setting this up. Perhaps something happened between the night before and this morning, because that is definitely not Woo-shik manning the counter.

“___?” Jungkook’s voice echoes in the cafe. “So you’re Hobi’s friend that Woo-shik said would be dropping by today and that I should give a free drink and pastry to,” he smiles.

He’s not in his usual kitchen attire, and with someone entering from the back with a tray of freshly-baked bread, you think Jungkook is standing in for the one who was supposed to be here this morning.

He’s dressed casually, the loose fit of his black shirt being covered by the light blue apron. It’s enough to expose his tattooed right arm, though, and you briefly see new ones he added, climbing up towards his biceps and beyond.

“Yeah, that’s me and Jin,” you smile, and you turn towards the pastry display counter and miss how Jungkook’s face falls a little.

You’re about to ask what he’d recommend that they don’t have in Seoul when the bell attached to the door rings and a now-familiar cheery voice greets everyone good morning.

The owner of the voice gasps as she sees you, calling your name and prompting you to face her who’s now standing behind the counter next to Jungkook.

“Hi, Yae-won. It’s nice to see you again,” you smile. “I’m sorry we didn’t get to say goodbye to you guys last night because I got really tired. Thanks for the free drinks, though. We really appreciate it.”

“Oh, don’t worry about it!” She chirps. “Any friend of Jungkook’s is my friend, too. Like Jimin! And he speaks so highly of his workmates and you guys did seem like you had a long day and it was all we could do as a welcome.”

“That’s really kind of you,” you respond, thinking of how much energy she has this early on a Sunday morning. “We got to see you guys dance around, though, although there was no dance-off like you promised.”

“Ugh, I know right! This one right here was such a killjoy and wanted to just chill last night,” she laughs, earning him a restrained hey from Jungkook, and she responds by saying that she's just joking and that their slow dance felt nice.

“We’re definitely gonna make them do it today, though,” she informs you. “We’re going to the beach after lunch then just hang out there until sunset with a bonfire. The weather is perfect for it. You and the other Atty. Kim should join us.”

“Oh, no it’s okay,” you decline. “I was really just passing by for a light breakfast and I need to leave right away. I have a toddler waiting for me back home and one night away is already hard.”

“You’re a mom?!” She asks, mouth agape.

“Uh, yeah?” you laugh, unsure of what’s so surprising about it.

“Sorry, I just didn’t expect women our age to be so successful in their career and be a mom, too. I mean, okay that sounded bad but like, I’m in my mid-twenties and I’m always told I can only focus on one of those at a time and you’re like, wow,” she rambles, awe definitely written on her face.

Thinking about it, it is one thing that people seem so surprised about. Especially when they find out your age. And the fact that you’re single.

“She’s actually in her early-thirties. She’s not young like you,” Jungkook teases, and you fake an offended look that he laughs at.

“Okay, you look like you’re in your late-twenties. I mean it,” she says.

“Well, it’s not far off but thank you, I guess,” you chuckle.

“So, I’m guessing you and Jin had to leave the little one for work, huh? You’re such a power couple, I’m amazed.”

“Oh, uh, he’s not the father, actually,” you correct her. “I had Heejin via artificial insemination because I really wanted a child. And Jin is just a colleague and a friend. We’re not together,” you say, reflexively turning to Jungkook whose face you can’t quite read.

He holds the sigh of relief he was about to release, the scenes from last night playing in his head - Jin’s hand on your back as you all spoke, Jin cupping your face as you sat by the railing, and Jin holding you close as you both made your way out of the bar. Jungkook feels terrible as his heart aches a bit at the memory, especially with Yae-won, his girlfriend, standing next to him.

Jungkook hadn’t expected nor prepared for last night and this morning, and though it feels nice to finally see you after what seemed like the longest 18 months of his life, he can’t help but think how cruel it is. You’d first met over 2 years ago at the cafe’s rooftop in Seoul, and after having left to settle back home and mend his broken heart that you caused, he sees you again on a rooftop and then at the cafe the next morning. But now, he’s with a new woman who’s taken residence in the hole you’d left for him to figure out how to mend, and suddenly, he doesn’t know what hurts more.

“So, you… do you have anyone? I mean, like a partner?” She asks.

“No,” you say too quickly. “But uh, I’ve got a lot of people helping me out. Being a single mother is tough. My sister’s living with me in the meantime, my mom and her partner have a place nearby, and my friends take turns to babysit.”

You’re saying it as if you’re updating Jungkook on how life has been like for you, a subtle way of telling him that you’re doing fine and that he doesn’t have to worry. It’s also as if you’re reminding yourself that life turned out okay, that whatever decision you made still got you this life, and with Heejin well and happy, that’s all you really need.

“You are a superwoman,” she says in awe. “I mean, from one woman to another, that’s just so amazing. It’s tough enough to have a good career and to be a single mother on top of all that? Wow. You’re so cool. I wish I had your strength.”

“Oh, well, I had to give some things up,” you faintly smile. “You have to if you really want to achieve what you set out to do. Like you said, it’s tough to balance both roles but I just had to focus on what mattered. I couldn’t have distractions.”

You see Jungkook’s jaw visibly clench, and all you want is to be swallowed by the ground whole.

“Do you regret it, giving those things up?” He asks, meeting your eyes, wanting your honesty more than anything, even if it will hurt.

“Not when those things ended up where they should be, with who they should be,” you respond, immediately turning back to the pastry display counter, not wanting to see Jungkook’s face.

You glance at Yae-won who seems to be processing what you just said, and it’s right when the door opens again, and shortly after, you feel Jin’s presence next to you.

“Sorry, I had to inform my dad about the client meeting earlier,” he says, looking up from his phone and freezing on the spot. “You’re not Woo-shik,” he states, eyes flitting from Jungkook to Yae-won and then to you.

“Nope, he caught the flu this morning so I’m on the clock today,” Jungkook explains.

“Nice to see you again, Yae-won. Thanks for the beer last night,” Jin nods.

“Oh, no problem! If I’d known it was a night out for ___ who was probably missing her daughter, I would’ve sent more drinks.”

“Right,” Jin cocks his brow. “Her daughter. Whom we should be heading to already, yeah? Bet your little pearl is missing her mom terribly.”

“She’s probably still asleep or crying at Taehyung for all the jazz videos he’s making her watch,” you laugh. “But yeah, we should be heading home already. We’ll just have 2 iced americanos to-go and…” you look at the variety of delectable loaves of bread, assessing which one you should go for.

“The peach loaf is a must-try,” Yae-won suggests. “And the cheese garlic bread is too good not to have.”

The memory of that day flashes in your mind, but you don’t want to disappoint her, so you ask for both. Jungkook starts to prepare your drinks when Yae-won asks if it’s okay to see a photo of Heejin.

“I love babies,” she informs you. “They’re so lovely, but I don’t think I’m ready to have one yet.”

You hum and take out the photo from your wallet that you’re holding, proudly showing off a beaming Heejin in a blush dress during the studio photoshoot that Jin got her as a gift for her first birthday.

Yae-won squeals, gushing at how adorable her puffy cheeks are, joyfully showing it to Jungkook and saying she reminds her of his nieces and nephews.

Jungkook’s lips slowly turn up, and he feels his face soften at the sight of your child, the one you’d given your whole world to. She was a newborn the last time he’d seen her in your arms, and to see her taking so much from you - your smile, definitely, and even your eyes - it’s a different kind of feeling. It’s bittersweet, and he forces the thought of wanting to have been there as she grew up out of his mind.

“She’s beautiful, ___. She’s really beautiful,” he says.

He returns the photo to you, his fingers slightly brushing yours, and you feel your heart stop for the briefest second. You resist looking at him again, up until he hands you your orders and thanks you for dropping by. Yae-won decides you’re hug-level friends now, so she walks towards you and Jin for an embrace, inviting you to another friend’s restaurant should you decide to visit again.

You lie through your teeth and say you’ll let Jungkook know, and you bid both of them goodbye again, saying his last words from the day he walked out the hospital room door and out of your life.

“Bye, ___. I’ll see you soon.”

It was a long trip back to Seoul. An hour of it was spent on a video call with your siblings and Heejin, the little one babbling and reaching her fingers to see if they could go through the phone and touch you.

“Ma! Where Ma?” She squealed.

Your heart melted at all this, especially as she tried to eat the screen because something about your face apparently makes her want to bite you. You knew it’s her way of showing affection, and her absence just made you want to cry. You don’t ever want to be so far away from her again.

Another hour was spent looking dazedly out the window and engaging with Jin in work talk; the other two were spent with you asleep, your arms around your body for the comfort you badly needed.

Finally reaching Seoul, Jin drops you off your building and hugs you before you leave, and you mumble your thanks before you rush to your apartment, opening the door and running towards the living room where Heejin is seated on Taehyung’s lap, loudly hitting her toy xylophone stick on the table as Louis Armstrong plays his trumpet on the TV.

“Hey.” Yuri stands from the dining table where she’s currently working on a sketch, following you to where you’re already lifting your daughter in your arms.

You cradle Heejin, peppering her laughing face with kisses, and she hugs you back, saying Ma once before she starts nibbling on your face.

“Have you guys eaten?” You ask your siblings who are now standing in front of you, laughing as Heejin tries to climb on your back.

“No, we had a late breakfast and we were waiting for you,” Taehyung says, informing you that Heejin has almost finished her milk so you arrived right on time.

“Alright. Order anything and I’ll just feed her, okay?” You say, walking towards the nursery before they could even respond.

They do as instructed, not saying much as they observe you to be a little uneasy, which is a little more than what they expected you’d be with being away from your daughter for over a day.

You settle in the rocking chair, humming some made-up lullaby as you caress Heejin’s puffy cheeks, her eyes glimmering at you as she feeds on your breast.

You talk to her about the trip. Your mom said that helps when you feel upset about something, so you narrate the drive, then the convention, then the bar, leaving behind the details of the man whose heart you broke and in return, has broken your heart in his effort to move on with his life, just as you wanted him to.

It feels selfish, feeling this way. You didn’t want him around, not because of him, but also precisely because of him. You didn’t want to feel more than what you were starting to over 18 months ago, and you had to walk away from him before things got too confusing, too difficult, too hard for you to manage because everything was about Heejin, and you unfortunately meant what you’d said earlier - you couldn’t have distractions.

Much as you knew that Jungkook had been nothing but kind and gracious and incredibly helpful when it came to a pregnant you, he did something else to your heart that it wasn’t ready for. He made you feel again, made you want something with someone again, and you just couldn’t go there with him.

Later on you’d realize that you were also scared to not be what he needed. Young as he is, you couldn’t tie him down to this life that you’d planned, that you settled into, that you wanted. You had so much faith in yourself as a mother, not as a lover, and definitely not as both. You couldn’t let the confusion and the insecurity ruin you and Jungkook in the process, not when you didn’t feel ready, and not when you weren’t sure if he was.

Seeing him makes you think that maybe there was more. Maybe you were scared that he wasn’t sure about you. He does dive right into things when he feels like it, he’d said once, and you couldn’t shake the idea of Jungkook no longer wanting you.

It’s clearer now, as seeing him with someone else who’s great, who perhaps wants him as much, who’s willing to dive right into things with him, lets you know that perhaps that’s another part of it. You cut the cord before you fell in love with him, and thinking about it, this hurts less than if you’d have let him stick around and then pushed him away when it got serious.

You hold Heejin in your arms after you nurse, then change her diapers, before you head to the dining room for your late lunch. You don’t talk much about the trip, having Yuri and Taehyung narrate everything that happened since you left yesterday morning instead.

You all spend the rest of the day in the living room, letting Heejin run around and play with her toys. She tires easily, falling asleep as you give her a bath then knocking out midway through breastfeeding. You’d settled with noodles for dinner, talking about the meetings you’ll be having this week and the babysitting schedule, with both of them taking turns. Taehyung is on a short break while Yuri has always been flexible with her work hours, and you give them both hugs before you have a long, warm bath and they clean up in the kitchen.

Both of them lay on both ends of your bed. It’s something they do when they’re both here because it’s something they’d gotten used to doing when they were younger. They’re not always affectionate, but anytime you need them, they’d be there before you even say anything.

“Do you think she saw Jungkook there? She looked a little off the whole day,” Taehyung whispers as he turns to face Yuri across the space in between, waiting for you to finish your bath.

“I messaged Yoongi to ask and he said she did, but she should’ve expected that, right? I mean, I’m sure she would’ve wanted to visit the cafe there. Hobi tells her to check it out and she always said she would,” Yuri responds. “I wouldn’t be surprised if they saw each other there.”

“Then why would she look so… sullen? Like, she smiles but you know it’s like a sad smile.”

“What if he said he’s leaving the country for good, like he got a job offer abroad or something?”

“Or what if he has a girlfriend?” Taehyung asks alarmingly, earning him a whimper from his twin sister at the possibility. “What if she realized that she made a huge mistake and maybe hoped he’d still be into her but then, poof, girlfriend. Moved on. Over her.”

“What if she–”

“It’s the second one,” you interject, both of them turning towards you with wide eyes and parted mouths at having been caught gossiping about you like that. “He has a girlfriend. Poof. Moved on, over me,” you announce, lying in between them, sighing at the comfort of your bed after a very long weekend. “She’s pretty and very nice. Good for him.”

The silence hangs over your head. You close your eyes, your jaw clenching as you try to stop the quivering of your lips, in hopes of halting the downfall of tears.

“Can I ask you something?” Taehyung wonders, hoping you won’t turn him down.

You hum in response.

“Do you regret letting him walk away?”

You let out the breath you were holding as you waited for his question, and you know that whatever you answer, it wouldn’t be enough for you.

“I don’t like regretting things, Tae. It defeats the purpose of choosing to stand by the hard decision that I made,” you respond, trying to sound as calm as possible. “And how can I regret something that led him to being with someone who makes him happy?” Your voice cracks. “I just regret that I didn’t get to tell him that I’m happy for him.”

“But are you really?” Yuri whispers.

“For him, yes. For me…” your breath hitches, your lips now giving in. “I, uh…”

“It’s okay, ___. We’re here. You can let it out,” she assures you.

You bring your shaking hand to cover your mouth, and your eyes closing is what finally does it for you, as the tears fall right away. You turn to Taehyung, crashing onto his chest as you finally let yourself fully cry, and his arm immediately wraps around you, holding you close for the comfort you’ve been needing during all the nights you spent thinking about every choice you’ve made ever since Jungkook entered your life.

Yuri sighs, wrapping her arms and legs around you from behind, and you’re sandwiched between your siblings’ warm bodies, hugging you tighter as you start to shake from the tears you hadn’t allowed yourself to cry in so long.

“I wish I was happy for me. I really wish I was.”

It turns out, all you needed was a good cry.

Ever since that night you laid in bed between Taehyung and Yuri and cried, as silently as you possibly could, things felt lighter and easier to manage.

You let yourself play the scene of Jungkook and Yae-won in your mind for the last time a week after, with Byeol holding you that time, though no more tears were shed.

Hobi and Jimin took you to lunch the Monday after that on the pretense that they’d just missed you, but what they wanted was to apologize.

“We weren’t sure if we should tell you, if you wanted to know,” Hobi said, “but I swear I didn’t know he would be there that morning at the cafe. I’m not on top of those little things like he is.”

“I’m sorry, too. I’m the one who sees you everyday and I’d known about them ever since it started and I…” Jimin stammered. “I just didn’t know how to tell you.”

“It wasn’t your information to share, it’s okay,” you assured them. “I wasn’t hearing much about him from both of you and he didn’t seem to have been hearing about me from either of you, too, so it’s fine. I wouldn’t have wanted you guys to feel like you had to take sides just because.”

“That was kind of it,” Hobi affirmed. “We didn’t want to meddle any more than we did and we just… we weren’t sure how both of you decided to move on from each other so we decided to just not mention anything at all.”

You repeated that it was good that they did, and that you wanted to keep it that way. It was easier to keep your mind off of Jungkook without hearing about him, and you’d gone on with your life after, now appeased that you at least know he’s happy, no longer wondering if he was, and that was enough.

Life goes on as it should.

Work remains stressful. The pro bono work you continue to do in counseling and representing struggling single moms makes things fulfilling and worth it.

Yuri moved out of your apartment upon your insistence when her girlfriend asked her to move in together. You hadn’t minded, especially with Heejin being ready to go to a daycare, although on some days, your mom or any one of your friends still goes on babysitting duties. Ma-Ri also recommended Subin’s sitter, whom you ask over when no one would be available to pick up Heejin from the center on a busy weekday.

Things are looking up, you think, as you’re able to come up with a manageable schedule with Heejin. You have routines as well, like taking her with you to Blue Side during some mornings before handing her over to your mom or Ma-Ri. You find that the little one likes the smell of freshly-baked pastries, and she quiets down when you tell her to, as long as you make her sip some baby-appropriate chocolate drink.

You go to the park most weekends, sometimes with Namjoon’s family, sometimes with your mom or any of your siblings who happen to be available, or just you and Heejin. Yongsan is her favorite with the little playground and small ponds and the pigeons that she chases about.

This is what you wanted, being able to experience things with your daughter, giving her everything she needs and wants and not worrying if you’ll have enough. Your schedule revolves around her, and aside from work that tires you out, you’re never without energy to run after her when she pulls your hand and squeals for you to chase her.

You’re always able to read her a story every night and tuck her in bed, and you’re able to take her to new places, observe the new things she gets to do and say, and memorize the way her eyes light up when she’s happy and how her lips form into a pout when she’s upset. She likes being around people once she’s familiar and comfortable with them, but she always, always searches for you, melting into your hug the moment you cradle her in your arms.

She’s just turned 2 but she hasn’t outgrown the face and finger biting she does to you. As is her name, Heejin is like a precious pearl. There’s this beauty about her that’s captivating; iridescent in how she changes her expressions and mood instantly.

But one other thing she is, is sunshine. She has a smile that stretches across her face, flashing her pearly whites and tilting her head, the top of her hands laying underneath so her fingers touch in a position that you had when you were younger.

But as any child her age, she still has her moments, and that includes crying over not being allowed to eat the cheese cubes you just picked at one of the aisles in the supermarket because it’s a snack that always makes her poop immediately. You’re alone in doing the grocery and the closest one to your place doesn’t have the cleanest changing room for babies, and you really wanted to get home before she does any of her baby stuff.

She’s throwing a tantrum as she sits on the cart, rejecting your offers of carrying her to comfort her. She’s crying out of frustration, you know this, as you can tell which cries mean she’s hungry, hurt, or just upset. You give her other snacks but she shakes her head, and you ask her to calm down, assuring her she’ll eat it right when you get home.

“Heejin, bubba, please? You have to stop crying, okay?” You ask her placidly, your voice relaxed because you can’t stress her even further if you speak to her frustratedly. You also know not to force her to be carried or muffle her crying, so you continue explaining to her why she can’t have her snacks yet.

You decide to just head out and return to your groceries another time when an angry voice shakes you a little.

“Can you tell your child to stop crying!” A man bellows. “She’s disrupting the entire supermarket.”

Your jaw visibly clenches and your eyebrow cocks. “She’s a toddler. She can’t just stop crying,” you say. “But disrupting the entire supermarket is quite a bit of a stretch, mister. The place is buzzing. Everyone is busy. And she’s not even that loud.”

“Busy, but they’re not stupid enough to just let their child cry in a public place unlike you,” he counters aggressively. “If you knew how to parent, you’d know not to bring an uncontrollable child to the supermarket or just leave her with her dad or something, that way you don’t disturb normal people just trying to go about their regular Sunday.”

He’s standing so uncomfortably close to you, and you hadn’t realized he’d been inching towards you this whole time. You shift so Heejin is seated behind you now, and you really don’t know how miserable this man is to be so harshly triggered by a crying baby for him to look so aggressive and angry at you.

“Are you gonna tell her to shut up or should I call security to get you out of here?”

Your fist curls into a ball, and your blood is boiling that you don’t notice a tall figure approaching both of you and a tattooed hand slightly pulling the man away from you.

“Step back now and walk away,” the not-so stranger says, and your eyes flit to Jungkook’s irritated face, his nostrils flaring perhaps as much as yours are.

“Who’s this, your husband?” The man scoffs. “Finally, someone to get you and your child to behave.”

“I’m not her husband and it doesn’t matter. Don’t speak to her like that,” Jungkook says, trying to sound calm.

“Oh it does matter. They’re disruptive. I’m going to call the manager and—”

“I’m sure Atty. Kim here would gladly report you, too, for harassment. And there’s a witness,” Jungkook counters, eyes turning devious now. “There’s a way to ask her politely without being threatening, and I believe you scared her child by acting the way you just did. It’s a public place after all and I’m sure the CCTVs captured how you aggressively invaded her personal space.”

It’s what makes the man move back, eyes suddenly glinting with fear and worry, and he stomps his feet as he walks away.

You sigh in relief and turn around to hug Heejin who’s now silently crying, her little mind briefly forgetting her cheese cube and focusing on the scary-looking man harassing her mother instead.

“Are you okay, bubba? I’m so sorry he scared you,” you say, choosing not to think of how it could’ve escalated. “Mama is here, okay? No one is going to hurt you.”

You wipe the tears from her cheeks and caress her face. You take her hand to hold as you face Jungkook who’d been watching you comfort your child.

“Thank you, Jungkook. But I could’ve handled that and pulled out the lawyer card, you know?” You cock an eyebrow.

You know he means well, but if that were another person, you would’ve been truly annoyed.

“I know,” he chuckles. “But the man was too close to you and I could see you clenching your fists though; I doubt you’d want your daughter to see you pull apart that man because you definitely could.”

“I would have, you’re correct,” you laugh, meeting his soft eyes and for a moment, it felt like the first time you both met here after months.

“You guys okay though?” He asks, turning to Heejin who’s now curiously looking at the new man that her Ma is talking to.

“Yeah, we are,” you respond, as he beams at her wide eyes and greets her.

You take this time to take Jungkook in, somehow even more handsome than the last time you saw him six months ago in that rooftop bar in Busan. You’re still getting used to the lip piercing, but you don’t mind. He’s in a black and yellow tracksuit, and you think he probably went on a run. There are mint highlights on his hair, and you wouldn’t be surprised if, in the midst of everything he’s doing, he snagged a modeling gig, too.

“So are you in Seoul to visit? Or maybe do preps for the fall menu at the cafe?” You ask, trying to temper your curiosity.

“I’m, uh, I’m back actually,” he says, offering his hand to Heejin whose tiny one is reaching out for him. “I arrived last week.”

“Like, back, back?” You wonder, your mind going a bit hazy at the thought, and he responds with a nod.

“What about Yae-won, then? How is she?” You curse yourself at how desperate you seem, wanting to know his relationship status all of a sudden. If he notices anything, he doesn’t show it.

“She’s fine. Business is going well,” he smiles at you, his hand still holding onto Heejin who’s now completely calmed down.

“That’s good,” you clear your throat, not knowing how to continue with the conversation.

You turn towards Heejin.

“Hey, bubba. This is Jungkook,” you introduce him. “Not so scared of a new face now, are you?” You chuckle, and it surprises you how she doesn’t jeer away from him like she usually does with a new face, but then again, you always felt like Jungkook is good with kids.

She looks at you and pouts, and you think she remembers that you’re still the one depriving her of her favorite cheese snack. You take the strawberry plushie from the bag and give it to her, hoping it will make her a little less angry at you.

Heejin uses her free hand to hold onto the toy, the other one still enveloped in Jungkook’s. Her smile is now bright, and you mirror it as you tuck her hair behind her ear.

“She likes strawberries, too?” He observes.

“Yes! She takes from me, definitely,” you giggle. “I mean, I did have a lot of your strawberry desserts when I was pregnant. And even after. She’d try to take the tarts from me before she even grew teeth!”

“Ah, into strawberries and desserts like your Mama, too, huh? Good choice. We’ve got a lot of them at the cafe. I expect to see you there, yeah?” He laughs, knowing she doesn’t understand much although Heejin smiles at him.

Your two-year old is crushing on this man, and it’s another thing she took from you.

“Oh, she’s a regular, too,” you chuckle. “But yeah, it’s like her pacifier. She actually had a strawberry cake for her second birthday last weekend and she loved it,” you share, recalling the small party you threw for her at your apartment with your family and friends, including two of her playmates from daycare.

“She’s two already?” He asks, surprised, then realizing that he did leave for Busan at the same time, and it’s really been that long since he was last in Seoul.

“Yeah, how time flies, right?”

Two years with the most precious person in your life. And two years without him.

“Wait,” he furrows his brows, remembering something. “Did her cake happen to be a strawberry-shaped one with some mini-cupcakes?”

“Oh god, yes,” you laugh, realizing now why Jimin couldn’t give a straight answer when you asked him where he got the cake. “It was from you! Park is really a sneaky one, huh?”

“Yeah,” Jungkook playfully shakes his head. “No wonder he wouldn’t tell me who it was for.”

“Well, this little pearl loved it. She got so excited and couldn’t wait,” you narrate, excitedly taking out your phone to find the video, the one where Heejin was squealing when you placed the cake in front of her, then took a piece of it with her bare hand to show it to you.

Jungkook gushes at the sight, then laughs at everybody freaking out when Heejin tried to eat the piece whole then started crying when she couldn’t fit it in her mouth. The scene looked so soft, as she sweetly hugged you after you cleaned her up, smiling widely when everybody sang to her and you helped her blow out the candles.

Heejin is incredibly adorable; the photo you showed a few months ago didn’t do her justice. She has this radiance about her even when she’s not smiling, but when she is, it’s even more enchanting.

And then there’s you.

Even through the phone screen, your eyes glimmer with so much love and affection for your daughter. You look at her like everything she does is magic, laughing and smiling and taking her into a hug or kissing her hand every time.

This is how he always imagined you’d be - with so much joy and adoration, as if whatever stress you’re experiencing just melts away when you’re next to her. He’d seen how you would cradle your belly before, and now it’s like you do it constantly but differently. Every touch seems warm, and every caress says many different things. You’re still so beautiful, and he didn’t expect for his heart to burst as much as it is right now.

He’s taken out of his daze only to fall into another one when you look at him, smiling, the video no longer playing, even if your laugh still echoes in his mind. Your eyes are tender as you meet his, and with you standing close, all the feelings he tried to temper the past years, and especially the past months, come rushing back in, as if they never left.

“Thank you, Jungkook. You made her birthday special even if you weren’t around,” you say.

“I’m glad I was somehow still a part of it,” he responds, and with how he sees your eyes trace his face, he gathers every bit of confidence he has the way he did that first time.

“I was also thinking, maybe you need some help?” He eyes your grocery cart filled to the brim. “And, uh, if you and Heejin aren’t busy, maybe lunch?”

His heart is pounding in his chest this time, and it quickens when he sees your face turn questioning, unsure.

“Oh, uh—”

“If not, it’s totally fine,” he backtracks, not wanting another rejection the first time he sees you after months.

Maybe he’s being too forward. Maybe you’re uncomfortable. Or maybe, you’re seeing someone already.

“It’s just, uh, Yae-won is great and I don’t want her to think that—”

“She and I are broken up,” he says too quickly, scolding himself for not thinking things through.

Of course he wants to catch up with you. A lot of things happened the past two years and he found himself many times wanting to share them with you - from the desserts he’s been learning to make, to the whole process of running the cafe, to spending time with his family. Beyond the feelings he developed towards you, there was the friendship, the care, the comfort, and those are some of the things he missed being without you.

But of course you’d also think of what this would mean to his ex-girlfriend, who also happens to be one of the kindest souls he’s ever met and who ironically, made the past six months less difficult for him. It’s not everyday he’d find someone whose heart he breaks but is still willing to be there for him when he needs someone.

Well, he’s one of those people. He supposed life was kind enough that he found someone like that, too.

But he also should’ve thought through what inviting you to lunch would mean, after not seeing each other for so long, and after breaking up with his girlfriend. He could only wish you don’t think of him as some asshole or worse, that he’s using you as a rebound.

If you only knew.

“Oh, I’m so sorry, Jungkook,” you try to offer a sympathetic smile, although you think he catches the slight relief in it, as he smirks at you and laughs.

“Relieved?”

“Oh shut up,” you playfully roll your eyes. “I was just worried and caught off-guard. I just didn’t expect it; you two looked really happy when I saw you. And she’s really nice. I don’t want her to think badly of me or anything.”

It’s a decent explanation, you think, but they’re not lies, although you hadn’t realized just what it would make you feel to find out he’s single again. Not wanting to get ahead of yourself, you crush whatever thoughts of possibilities there are now, with him back and unattached, and you in a good spot as you’d always wanted be.

You’re not sure if you’re ready yet for what’s to come, but now you know what it felt like being without him, and just the thought of having him around is making your heart swell with excitement.

“We were happy, yes, but it’s all okay. The breakup doesn’t take much away from what we had,” he says calmly. “But don’t worry, she doesn’t think badly of you at all.”

“Okay, now that’s a relief,” you chuckle. “But a 4-hour distance is considered long distance, right? I’d find that difficult too, if it were me.”

Jungkook just nods, not wanting to correct your assumption of the reason for the breakup, not knowing that you meant to assume because any other reason he may have is something you’re not willing to process just yet.

“But uh, this little one needs to get home so she could have her cheese snacks, and I have a legal consultation in a few hours,” you reason.

Both true, both also workable if you really wanted to have lunch with him, which you do. You just need to get your bearings back because you’re sure you’ve given too much away in just the past 15 minutes since he walked over.

“Oh, alright sure, no problem,” he smiles, with no hint of dejection on his face.

You apologize but he shakes his head.

“I know you’re perfectly capable of getting all these in your car but uh, mind if I help?” He asks.

Not at all, you want to scream. He looks too good right now for you to just let him go again so you settle with a calm “no,” and he walks with you to the counter to check out then to your car to load what you’ve bought. And the whole way through, he talks about how Jimin asked him to make the cake and how he went about making it.

You strap Heejin in her car seat and ask her to say goodbye to Jungkook, who happily waves at her smiling form. She places her palm on her lips, eyes turned up at a confused Jungkook.

“She’s giving you a flying kiss without it actually flying,” you explain. “She hasn’t caught on that her palm needs to actually leave her lips.”

“Well, kisses are subjective. It’s probably flying for her in her head,” Jungkook laughs, sending her his own version.

You turn towards him and as he tells her goodbye.

“Thanks for the help, Jungkook. And it’s nice to have you back,” you say, meeting his eyes this time, wanting to express the other things you can’t yet.

It seems enough for him, as he graciously nods and smiles in relief. “It’s nice to be back, ___. Busan did a lot of good for me but I like Seoul better.”

“Yeah?” You look at him curiously as you walk towards the driver seat.

“I left a lot of things back here, and I couldn’t stop thinking about them,” he says, holding your gaze. “It’s just nice to be able to see them again.”

“Those things haven’t left,” you go along with it. “I’m sure they’re glad you’re back.”

“I hope so,” he says. “God, I hope so.”

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#jungkook fic #jungkook angst #jungkook fluff #jungkook smut #jungkook x reader #jungkook fanfic #jungkook x you #jungkook fanfiction #bts jungkook #single mom oc #pastry chef jk #series #asdoah

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jboofan · 2 years

Text

Chances 27 EXO my ass

Chapter 27 EXO my ass

YN's about to find out that sometimes a gorgeous man can come up with a plan all his own, and it's a given that it'll mess hers up.

Jungkook x YN

Jungkook and the boys walked the entire vicinity of their area, searching for Bambam. They searched the local dog parks, café but they could find no trace of him.

"Let's try again in the morning huh?" Jin sighed exhausted, as Jungkook looked at the others guiltily. They'd all been looking for ages and it was nearing midnight.

"I just hope he's ok, that he comes home," he sniffed.

Bam grinned as YN opened the front door and motioned him to come in.

Taking off her shoes, she looked at him, with wipes ready to clean his feet.

"I don't know where you've been," she explained to the dog. "So we need to make sure you're nice and clean okay?"

Surprised that the dog was so complaint, he put forth a paw and stood still, tail wagging away as he was cleaned thoroughly.

"My name is YN. Bang YN and you are?" she kneeled down to look for a tag, but saw only the strong metal chain around its neck. "No name, I can't see how you don't have one...do you have an owner?"

YN looked at the dog, "how did you end up from my dreams to here? Do we," she shook her head, "I can't believe I'm saying this, but doggie who I've just found napping on my door step.. Do we know each other?" she crouched down beside it on the floor, slightly confused.

She rubbed it's soft fur, and found herself smiling. "We need to find your owner don't we?" she told it, "are you a girl or a boy?" The dog jumped in the air, as she laughed embarrassed.

"Oh damn, definitely a boy then!"

Bambam happily bound after her into the kitchen as she fed him chicken and ordered more dog supplies before disappearing into her room to change. He followed after her, looking for his kennel.

"Mianhe," she yawned coming in from the bathroom in her shorts and shirt. "Tomorrow I'll buy you new things okay?"

As though understanding, the warm brown-green eyes barked before padding across her mattress and snuggling up to her stomach where it rolled into a big ring, settling down to sleep.

"We'll try the vet first, see if you're microchipped," she yawned as she fell asleep.

Jungkook lay awake all night, mumbling to himself as Jimin and Taehyung bustled into his room with their pillows.

"Move over, we're staying here with you tonight," Taehyung grinned.

He knew they wanted to make sure he was ok, managed to get some sleep, and not to be left alone. Tonight he was thankful for it because he had no idea where his dog had gone.

"Why don't we hit up the places that were closed this evening, someone somewhere will have spent seen him. Bam is a smart dog," Jimin comforted him.

Jungkook bit his nails nervously as he picked up his phone, finally having managed to wrangle her number. He had left her with a strong impression, and then hadn't seen nor spoken to her in almost a week now. Not since his dog had gone missing.

They'd been busy with practice for their first home concert in two years, but he missed her. He missed Bam. And he wanted more than anything was to speak to her, knowing if he spoke to her it would make him feel better.

YN put off going to the vets again. Today was the fourth day she had found an excuse to put it off. The last few days, she had been genuinely busy, but down to sheer laziness she had convinced herself that the local vet surgery was probably too busy, and she had really taken to this dog that a part of her heart broke thinking that she could possibly lose him.

"I'll go tomorrow," she rubbed his coat clean, throwing the damp towel over her shoulder to the laundry bin, as she pulled a doggy bath robe over him, "I promise. You must have an owner, a real owner that's missing you." She felt guilty, but she put it aside for one last night with him.

"Can you please check that again?" she held the leash tighter, not sure if she heard the name correct the other four times.

"Madam, again," the receptionist confirmed, "the dog is registered to a J Jeon. And there is a contact number."

She took the number, scrunching up the paper as she shoved it into her pocket and continued out the door a final time.

"Geulaeseo," she sighed, "So, your name is Bam. And you aren't a figment of my imagination when it's likely I met you before everything happened huh?" she received a few funny looks as she continued to talk to the dog like it could answer her back.

"But how did you end up at my place? Do you know the way Bam? What am I even saying," she adjusted her mask as they got to her car.

"You're his, I can't believe it," she sighed.

The car beeped, the dog confidently got into the Ferrari, sticking it's head out the window, it's tongue flapping about as they weaved through afternoon Seoul traffic.

Jungkook couldn't believe it. Firstly how the hell did his dog end up there of all places, and secondly he certainly was living the good life.

Not one to lose, at well anything, he smirked.

Finally something that will get this girl's attention.

YN scoffed as she answered, locked and threw her phone besides her.

"Your Appa, is a lunatic Bam Ssi," she scoffed as the dog looked at her blankly before going back to his dinner. "I don't know how you put up with him."

She couldn't believe him. "Flash you? More like punch you so hard your life flashes before your eyes dumbass," YN flicked through her schedule for tomorrow and smiled. Tomorrow was another photoshoot and she had to get some rest.

Sure she'd been to other shoots, and had a strong enough industry profile before declaring her family to the world, but since the release of her album the offers has been stupid crazy.

Tomorrow was the FILA shoot, one she had been offered at the same time as BTS but had been too busy to photograph for. And now? Well, they'd also bought on another idol with her.

Pdogg had declared himself her temporary manager, rang her one last time for the evening.

"YN."

"Hyo-Won Hyung," she sang knowing how happy it made him.

"Tomorrow's shoot, with that pompous son of a b–"

"Forget him, what time do I need to be there?"

"I'll come grab you, we're heading there early for hair and make up."

"anything else?"

"That's it. Anything for me?"

"I've part adopted a dog, relax, I'm just telling you so you don't walk in and scream."

"You know I'm scared of dogs!"

"He won't hurt you," she rubbed behind Bam's ears as he shuffled up to her. "See you tomorrow."

"Hmm. Don't forget to lock the doors, sleep well and I'll see you tomorrow."

Jungkook wasn't sure if his latest idea was smart or just plain stupid but here we are.

It was past midnight, and as he punched in the combination to YN's front door, it slowly opened with a beep and then he was standing in her apartment hallway.

Bam was up as soon as the door opened, ears alert, teeth bared as he heard the footsteps.

"Good boy, so this is where you ran off too huh?" came Jungkook's voice in the dark calming the canine down. "Is mommy sleeping?" he whispered as he looked at the closed door.

Bam proceeded to strut towards his favourite spot between the kitchen and the bedrooms and got comfortable in his basket ignoring Jungkook as he removed his shoes.

"Night night buddy."

He pushed open the door and spied YN asleep. The faint scent of her perfume hung in the air, and he was so close to her he could taste the fragrance in his mouth.

Anxiety radiated through him as he walked. Stupid thoughts began to consume his mind. He should have been at the dorm, should have gone to sleep, right that minute but he didn't, instead he knocked on her door.

"Baby?" He tapped on the door, "you awake?" he said opening the door, the TV was still on. "Can we talk?" he asked as he looked over at the dimly lit room. As he neared he realised she was in her bed, tucked up fast asleep.

Jungkook stepped back, turned the TV off and backed out toward the door, his bare foot brushing against her handbag, which was laying on its side, half the contents on the floor. His foot felt a crunch, bending down he picked up the packet and frowned, turning it over.

She was on medicines and so many painkillers??

"Plan B contraceptive pill?" he read it out the name on the foil strip, looked down and saw a small pill screw top jar. She's seeing somebody?

Thoughts ran through his mind at a hundred miles an hour. That explains the longer hair, the figure hugging outfits, even the fact she's more toned now. Some motherfucker was sleeping with his girl.

He squinted in the low light to read what the prescription label on another small jar said, some medical name he couldn't pronounce. He continued reading, "Sleeping tablets should be taken within half hour of sleep."

Jungkook looked to at her confused, "what the fuck is going on baby?" He looked at the jars, and the date of the prescription. This bottle showed last month's date, and half the bottle was empty. Was she hooked on pills? Who was she seeing? Cos it sure as hell wasn't him.

Angry, and jealous his top was pulled off in haste and before he could convince himself not to, he had slipped into the sheets and held his breath as YN turned over to face him, snuggling into his chest. Jungkook stroked her hair, and watched her long eyelashes fluttering as she slipped into deep sleep.

Jungkook's resolve was failing him, his fingers free of his usual jewellery, traced her jawline from her ear to her chin, moving slowly down her neck to rest on her collarbone.

It was just supposed to be one kiss. But one kiss turned into several wet kisses to unknowing lips, before his mind bereft of any common sense landed a kiss to her jawline. The same jawline that mocked him; convinced him it had been kissed by another, he leaned closer into her and hesitated as he saw her smooth neck.

He didn't want to get her in trouble, but he wasn't going to let this go. No way.

He undid several of her buttons and praised the Lord that she wasn't wearing a bra. Tempted as he was to pull those puppies free and suck them, till he himself fell asleep, he was raging inside.

Dick hard, he lowered himself til his face was parallel to her breasts and he began sucking diligently around each nipple. He sucked lightly and as he worked away, he pulled away to admire his work. A plethora of dark purple hickeys surrounded those plump erect nipples.

Pleased with his handiwork, he licked his lips before slowly sucking on her mouth, tracing his tongue across them before he stilled as a small groan escaped her, and she turned over onto her back.

"You need to be reminded you're mine babygirl," he smirked as he redressed, calming down as he kissed her forehead lightly and slid out the front door as quietly as he had sneaked in.

YN readied herself in quick deliberation on outfit choices as she grabbed the rest of Bam's things to head to the door. All morning she had been confused as to how she got that purple rash on her chest. It didn't hurt, but it was definitely going to leave a mark or several. They looked like hickeys, felt like hickeys and she had almost convinced herself they had manifested from her imagination when she spied a questionable oversized bomber jacket by the coat rack.

It wasn't hers, that was for sure. It didn't even need her to sniff it, just be in its general vicinity to recognise his scent.

"Jungkook," she growled lowly, "you're gonna pay for this.." as she plotted his demise.

"Ok let's take a break!" Hope spotted the others starting to flag. Their moves grew sloppy and when Jin started to complain about his bones feeling old it was time to stop.

"I'm just saying," Jin wiped his brow, "that when my knee starts to hurt it either means it's gonna rain, or something bad is gonna happen."

"Hyung, it's April. Nothing is gonna happen, if you're tired just say so hahah," Taehyung grinned.

"You brat," he groaned as he stood up, "don't ask me later to make you food."

Jin looked over at Jungkook, pink in the face, so tired he couldn't stop the dribble escaping the side of his mouth.

"Jungkook-ah you've been working so hard, I'm proud of you," he squeezed his shoulder. "You've been working even harder since YN came back, can't be a coincidence."

"Aniyo," he shook the sweat out of his eyes, "I've always worked hard. She just makes me want to work harder, that's all," he cleared his throat, dabbing his sweaty brow again.

"God Jungkook, sweating much?!" Yoongi grimaced as Jungkook shook out his sweaty locks like his pooch, spraying everyone nearby as Jin shouted about getting JK's sweat in his eyes.

"So how's things going?" Jimin lay on the floor in a puddle of his own sweat as Namjoon too sat huffing and puffing beside him.

"It not really, but I'm not giving up. Besides, we share a dog now," Jungkook smiled to himself, "I still don't know how Bam got there, but the boy did good."

He checked his phone, "Actually YN was supposed to be coming over with Bam..let's call her."

YN couldn't help but feel angry. She peeked at her chest as she changed, and having deliberated Jungkook's death several different ways zipped up her first outfit and waited for hair and make up to set up.

"YN," came a voice, having placed her on speaker, a tired but happy to hear from her voice. "I thought I was going to come and collect him in a bit? Or you were coming here?"

"I'm at a shoot so I don't know when I'll be done. And when I am, I'm gonna be done with you Jeon Dumbass."

Jungkook laughed nervously, "C'mon baby, you don't mean that."

"Tell that to the last guy that crossed me," she scoffed, "cos the bastard just walked in."

"Wait, who is your shoot with?"

"FILA."

"And?"

"Ka—"

"Don't. Don't utter another man's name in my presence babygirl. I'm gonna get pissed," he was sure the vein in his neck was about to double in size.

"What Kai? He isn't a man. He's a snake. And I'm about to cut his head off as soon as this thing is over."

"You need to keep away from him YN, just put some distance between you two."

"Yeah that ain't gonna happen amigo," they heard the photographer in the background shout out greetings and directions.

"YN?" Jin laughed, "Settle this debate for us, Jimin said he is your bias."

"What? I thought I was," Taehyung frowned.

"None of you are," she gave the phone to her manager and went off to stand in front of the first backdrop.

"Wait, what you mean we aren't?" Jungkook snatched his phone back off Jin, "YN? Who then? TXT? The Enhypen boys?"

"Hey JK, it's StrayKids obviously, but I'm sure you guys are a close second!" Pdogg tried to cheer them up, "But I gotta go - YN is doing the shoot now and her d-d-og is staring at me so I'm gonna end this call before it decides I'm it's next meal."

"That's Bam, he's our dog. Get her to call when I can pick him up later?"

They all heard a large pause, "Um, I would say maybe let her call you back. Like much later. I gotta go!"

"Wait is everything ok?" Jimin looked at Jungkook concerned at the rush to get off the phone.

"Um, not really. Her ex is here, and his whole band just turned up. So it's damage control time before it all gets out of hand!"

"Wait, she dated an idol?" Namjoon perked up interested in the latest news.

"Kai is a bitch. He didn't deserve YNnie then, and he sure as hell doesn't deserve her now."

"Well I say we all go down and show them that we are better!" Jin was on his feet, dusting himself off. "I refuse to be second to EXO!"

"Give them a chance to convince her to take him back? I think the fuck not!" Namjoon clapped his hands in agreement.

"Right guys, let's get suited and booted. We need to impress. Fuck rehearsals!" Hope screamed loudly.

"Pishh, Chanyeol a better rapper than me? I don't think so bitch," Yoongi was already by the front door, "I say we go rock up, support our girl and Jungkook is gonna show Kai that BTS cannot be beaten!"

Taehyung handed over the car keys, "No way are we losing YN to them!"

"We got this!" Jimin shouted rallying the troops out the door.

"EXO my ass!"

#bts jungkook #jungkook imagines #bts #jungkook x yn #bts imagines #bts smau #bts social media au #jungkook fluff #jungkook x reader #bts smut #stray kids chan imagines #straykids chan

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dreamescapeswriting · 3 years

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BTS Reaction || Their Future Son Comes To See Them [Request]

A/N: Just reminds me of those tiktoks, “is that dad on the poster?” “WhIcH oNe Is It?” Different tropes for the guys since I want to try and see if you guys liked that

SEOKJIN: College Au

There was a flash of green light coming from behind one of the bookcases in the college library and Jin flinched turning to look over his shoulder to see a teenage boy coughing up a storm,

"You okay?" Jin asked as he slowly got up from his chair to help the boy, he turned to look at Jin and smiled brightly while jumping up and down on the spot.

"It worked!" He yelled out, earning a death glare from the librarian,

"It worked?" Jin questioned trying to look behind the case where the boy had emerged but there was nothing there that could explain the green flashing.

"So...Where is she?" Jin frowned at the question, looking around the library to see if the boy could have been speaking to anybody else but there was nobody besides Jin and the librarian there.

"...Who?"

"Mum! Where is she? I know you guys said you met in the library but I didn't think you meant it," Jin frowned even more as he stared over at his desk, rubbing his head. Maybe he'd just fallen asleep and this was some kind of weird dream he was having so he slowly made his way back to the desk and sat down.

"There she is!" The boy yelled out in excitement, sitting beside Jin as you entered the library, your head down in a book as you walked towards the table behind Jin completely ignoring him.

"I must have messed up the dates, I thought you said you and mum met today...I wanted to see it," Jin shook his head before turning to look at the boy.

"What are you talking about? Is this some kind of sick joke?" Jin had always had a crush on you, it was no secret amongst him and his friends so he figured this was their way of pranking him for it.

"Dad...No, I came from the future to see you...I wanted to watch you guys meet for the first time." Jin shook his head even more not believing it for a single second but then he heard you gasp in shock, his whole body turned to look at you as you clutched your finger.

"Paper cut," Jin walked over to you, cleaning up your finger while giving you a band-aid,

"I always come prepared," You laughed softly at him introducing yourself while your future son sat back and observed everything there was.

When Jin turned back to question the boy on who he really was he was gone and just like that he was talking to you about the book you were reading and what you were doing for the prom that was coming up.

YOONGI: Idol!Au

Yoongi stared at the boy that was sitting on his studio sofa,

"Oh sweet, you have these in the future too!" The boy yelled out reaching forward to take some of the sweets that were sitting in the middle of the coffee table in front of Yoongi's sofa,

"How- Did somebody let you in?" Yoongi could have sworn he hadn't heard the bell to his door go off to signal someone was coming into the room and he hadn't been working that hard on anything.

"No, I used my time machine, I wanted to see what you were doing today eighteen years ago...You grounded me so I just wanted to explore for a bit." Yoongi stared at the boy before shaking his head,

"I'm asleep. I just fell asleep because I'm working too hard." He mumbled to himself as he began turning back to the computer and working,

"If I was in your dreams how would I know the password to your computer and the fact that your crush is going to meet you in fifteen minutes." Yoongi's hand on the mouse tightened and the boy smirked,

"No one knows about my crush on Y/n," He grumbled turning to look back at the boy who was nodding,

"I do, in fact, mum knows she's just waiting for the right time to do something about it. She's still stuck on the whole, "It'll ruin our friendship" thing but you win her over in the end,"

"You keep saying, mum, who's your mum?" The door to Yoongi's office opened and you walked into the room with food in your hands,

"I bought lunch! I also stopped by your favourite coffee place and got your favourite snacks," You stopped speaking when you saw the boy on his sofa,

"I didn't know you had a friend-"

"I was just leaving, have fun." The boy got up and headed to the door, with your back to him he pointed at you and mouthed, "that's mum" to Yoongi before leaving the room with a giant smile on his face, Yoongi more confused than ever.

HOSEOK: Non!Idol AU

"You know, it would all go a lot smoother if you just spoke to her," A voice from behind Hoseok said making him jump, kneeing the table and spilling his drink all over the floor.

"What? S-Speak to who?" He stuttered out at the teenage boy that was now sitting in front of him while you came over to clean up the spilt drink.

"Her," The boy mumbled as you walked away to get some cleaning supplies,

"What are you talking about?" The boy sighed rolling his head back as he stared at the ceiling,

"Mum always said you were clueless when you were younger," He turned to look back at Hoseok who seemed even more confused than before.

"Talk to her, give her your number. She's sick of dropping you hints that you don't pick up on," Hoseok shook his head as he tried to think what the boy was talking about.

"You said mum said I was clueless...Do I know you?" The boy rolled his eyes,

"Ah, what the hell, you won't remember. I'm your son from the future...I came to tell you that mum was always sick of your taking your time on asking her out...So just do it," Hoseok blinked trying to decide if he had heard that sentence right or if he was just starting to lose his mind.

"She was really pretty at my age...Not that she's not beautiful you know in the future but dad...Seriously, take a shot before you lose-" He stopped speaking when you came back to the table,

"I'll just get this cleaned up, is there anything I can get you for you Hobi and your new little friend?" You turned to look at the boy and that was when you and Hoseok both noticed he was gone,

"Weird...I didn't hear the bell on the door," You frowned but Hoseok smiled at you,

"He must have had something to do, I didn't even know him...Do you maybe...Wanna hang out this weekend?" Your eyes lit up, you'd been dreaming of him asking you out for weeks.

"Sure, text me." You whispered, writing your number down on an order form and giving it to him before hopping back behind the counter.

NAMJOON: Book shop AU

"Isn't that like the fifth time you've been in there this week, mum is going to think you're insane," Namjoon jumped at the boy that was standing in front of him when he came out of the store. He looked too old to be your son but Namjoon stared at him,

"I didn't know Y/n had a son," Namjoon said to the boy who shook his head,

"She doesn't yet, you and her will have one in the future and that's me." Namjoon laughed loudly before covering his mouth as he saw people staring over at him with a look of confusion on their faces.

"What are you talking about?" The boy sighed leaning against the wall that was behind him,

"I know you'll never believe me but I'm your future son, you and Y/n end up together and you both end up very happy." Namjoon smiled at the thought of it, being with you. It had been his dream for the longest time since he had a huge crush on you but he never for a second thought that the boy in front of him would even be his future son.

"What makes you think I would believe-" He stopped speaking when there was a flash of green light and the boy was missing from where he had previously been standing.

"I need to get some sleep," Namjoon grumbled, walking off in the direction of the dorms.

JIMIN: Best Friends Sister

Jimin walked past your bedroom door to see a boy standing in the door,

"Oh...Are you Y/n's boyfriend?" He questioned as he felt jealously beginning to bubble inside of him at the thought of you having a boyfriend. Not that it was his business since you were Jin's younger sister and Jimin knew if he even tried to date you Jin would break every bone in his body.

"No, God no! She's my mum! Ew!" Jimin frowned wondering if it was some kind of joke that he wasn't understanding but the boy looked around the room.

"I came to see if you guys were together yet but I think I got the year wrong," He mumbled beginning to tap on a watch that was around his wrist,

"What are you talking about? Got the year wrong? Mum?" The boy let out an unimpressed loud groan.

"You and Y/n are my mum and dad...You guys will end up together, now if you'll excuse me-" He was cut off when a flash of green happened and Jimin was left in the room by himself.

"Jimin? What are you doing in my room?" Your voice came from behind him and he jumped, trying to think of an excuse.

TAEHYUNG: Idol AU

"You can't be shy forever, you have to speak at some point." Taehyung stared at the boy in front of him, claiming to be his son from the future. Taehyung didn't believe him of course, what kind of person would believe something like that?

"You have no idea what you're talking about," Taehyung mumbled, going back to working on the song he and Jimin were writing with one another,

"Mum is about to walk through the door, you'll compliment her clothes, she'll compliment your looks and then you'll get so sweaty and nervous you leave the room. That's how mum remembers it anyway," The door handle wiggled and Taehyung filled with dread at the thought of talking you the way that the boy explained it would go down.

"I'm joking. That's uncle Jimin, he'll go and get Mum in 3...2...1-"

"Y/N WAIT UP!" Taehyung's eyes widened as he realised the boy was telling him the truth, then he filled with joy as he realised he and you were finally going to be the ones to end up together...He just had to somehow pluck up the courage to talk to you properly without his heart combusting into a pile of ashes.

JUNGKOOK: Best friends Ex

"Whatever the boys are paying you, I'll pay you triple to leave me alone," Jungkook grumbled as the teenage boy sat on the end of his bed watching him closely then checking the date,

"Oh shit. It's the day Uncle Taehyung found out you loved Y/n...Don't worry dad, it works out...Taehyung forgives you for falling in love with her and he lets you be happy." Jungkook shook his head wanting all of this to go away. He'd confessed to Taehyung about his hidden feelings for you and it started a huge fight between the two of them about how they were supposed to be friends.

"You're just messing with me, it's Taehyung trying to get me back." He mumbled into the pillow but the boy sighed,

"If it was Taehyung getting me back how would I know the date you and mum get married, that my middle name is Tae - after my uncle and that you had a weird scar on your left thigh that you got about three weeks ago that you haven't told anyone about." Jungkook froze as he stared up at the boy,

"I gotta go, but just...Just believe you and mum will be together soon. I promise." With that the boy slowly began to vanish out of the room and Jungkook was left alone with his thoughts, thoughts of you and him finally being together and everyone being happy around you.

Tagline: @lyoongx @mitzwinchester @rjsmochii @kneel-begyourpardon @taestannie @innersooya @sw33tnight @sweeneyblue1 @agustdjoon @jin-from-the-block @acciocriativity @that-anxious-bisexual @mwitsmejk

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blu-joons · 3 years

Text

He Looks After You When You’re Overworking ~ BTS Reaction

Jin:

You jumped at the sight of a hand pressing to the top of your laptop, following it up you were met by Jin’s stare, shaking his head down at you as you pouted softly.

“What happened to you saying you were finished?” He asked, remembering your previous conversation.

Your shoulders shrugged innocently, “another email came in that I needed to reply to, and that just opened a can of worms to even more things I needed to do.”

“If you closed your laptop like you said you would then you would’ve never seen the emails,” he teased, trying to push the lid down.

“I can’t come off now when I’ve started all of this.”

He frowned, “you can, and you will, because you’re absolutely exhausted, you’re doing too much.”

“It’s not too much when it needs to be done,” you challenged, letting go of a heavy sigh. “If this isn’t done, do you know how much trouble I’ll be in?”

As much as he didn’t know, he wasn’t prepared to see you stress. “You’ll be in more trouble with me if you don’t come off from work and get some rest.”

“I’d like to see that, but I guess I should call it a day,” you whispered, closing it all down.

“Now, get some rest.”

Yoongi:

The smell of food hit you as soon as you heard the office door open, hearing Yoongi’s footsteps walk through the room until he appeared by your side.

“I thought you could do with a snack to get you through all of this,” he smiled, placing a takeout bag by the side of your paperwork.

You glanced appreciatively up at him, “I’ll eat it when I get a moment. Thank you for bringing me something, it’s exactly what I need right now.”

“Why don’t you eat now with me and take a break?” He suggested, sitting down beside you. “You need to take a moment away from your screen.”

“And I will when I get a moment to stop and eat something.”

His head shook, “Y/N, please just eat now, so I can make sure you look after yourself properly.”

“I’m doing alright,” you tried to assure him, but he could see straight through all of that. “You don’t need to worry about me, work isn’t even that bad.”

His shoulders dropped as he tried to listen to your defence, “I know you’re having a hard time; you really don’t need to pretend around me.”

“I’ll be alright,” you spoke, trying to force a smile onto your face.

“Just rest for now, please.”

Hoseok:

You peered down as Hobi tossed and turned in bed, opening his eyes to see you sat up with your head still flicking through the pages of your latest book for your assignment.

“Did your tutor tell you to read the whole thing tonight?” He asked, placing his lamp on too so he could see you properly.

Your head shook, checking quickly to see how far into the book you were. “No, we’ve got a week to read it all, I’d just much rather get it read now.”

“And I’d rather you try and get a bit of sleep tonight,” he argued, “you’re over halfway, and there’s still another day tomorrow, please.”

“But it’s such a good book, and it means I can get my assignment done sooner.”

He sighed, trying to take the book from you, “you’ll get nothing done without some sleep.”

“You really want me to stop, don’t you?” You asked, as his head solemnly nodded. “I guess I can put it down for now, there’s still plenty of time to read some more.”

He smiled appreciatively as you placed the book down and made yourself comfortable under the duvet. “I’m only looking out for you, you know that?”

“I do, and I appreciate that you’re here to care for me,” you whispered in response.

“I’ll always care for you.”

Namjoon:

As much as he wanted to look away from you, he just couldn’t as it tore him apart watching you work yourself up more with all the deadlines you were working towards.

“Y/N,” he frowned, walking across to you, scooping you up before you had time to respond. “You need to take a break.”

You gasped as he collapsed on the sofa with you, “you can’t just do that, I’m in the middle of something important, breaks will just have to wait.”

“No, what can wait is your boss before he ends up causing you a breakdown,” he argued, holding you tightly in position. “You’re working too hard.”

“He’s supposed to ring me in a minute, I can’t answer like this.”

His shoulders shrugged, “don’t answer, I’ll give him the reason why if I have to.”

“I know you mean well, but I honestly don’t need a break, you’re worrying too much,” you tried to argue, but he was not listening to a word.”

His eyes glanced down at you, “I’m not sitting here and listening to you sigh any longer. I need to make sure I look after you like a good boyfriend.”

“I know your heart is in the right place Joon, and I appreciate that,” you smiled.

“Just listen to me for a while.”

Jimin:

He slinked back into the room, careful of how tense it was as your body froze, hearing his footsteps straight away, unable to even so much as look at him.

“I don’t want us to argue,” he sighed, sitting down beside you, “but I really do think you’re working too hard, and it worries me.”

Your eyes fell to him, “I’m sorry for snapping at you, I know you only meant to look after me, I’m letting all of this get to me too much.”

“Work shouldn’t stress you out this much,” he sympathised, wrapping his arm around you, “I don’t want it to affect us either.”

“Neither do I, it’s the last thing that I want to happen.”

His lips pressed to your cheek, “so, please stop working for today and come and be with me.”

“Alright,” you smiled without even putting up an argument, “I don’t want us to keep arguing like this, it just stressed me out more.”

His head nodded in agreement, “that’s exactly what I don’t want to happen. I’m only ever trying to look after you, don’t ever forget that.”

“I won’t, and I don’t want to take your kind heart for granted anymore,” you sighed.

“You never have done.”

Taehyung:

His eyes immediately fell on you as he came home from his ten-hour day at the studio to find you still sat at your computer, typing away to try and get everything sorted.

“Have you got out of that chair all day?” He asked, making you jump having not heard him come through the front door.

You spun around to look back at him, “I got up to go to the toilet once, but that was about it. I didn’t even realise it was as late as it is.”

“You’re telling me you’ve not eaten or drunk anything all day?” He asked, as your head nodded. “Do you realise how bad that is for you?”

“I’m alright, I’ll get something once I’m done.”

He glared across at you, “you’ll get something to eat now, I’ll make sure of it Y/N.”

“Tae, please,” you pleaded, but he refused to listen, grabbing one of the menus and placing it in front of you. “I won’t be too much longer here.”

His shoulders shrugged, “that means it won’t take you long to finish once you’ve had dinner. Pick whatever you want, I’ll order it now.”

“You’re a pain sometimes,” you chuckled, “how can one person be so relentless?”

“It’s a skill, really.”

Jungkook:

He couldn’t help but sigh as he walked into your office and found you laid out across the computer, light snores escaping from you as you finally caught up with some sleep.

“Y/N,” he whispered, gently shaking you awake, knowing how uncomfortable you’d be.

Slowly you woke up, groaning when you realised what had happened and the mess you’d made of your work, “I only closed my eyes for five minutes, I promise.”

“You’ve been asleep for ages,” he challenged, carefully helping you sit up, “you’re exhausted, why don’t you just call it a night?”

“Because there’s still so much that I need to get done Kook.”

His head nodded, “can it not get done tomorrow? When you’re a little less sleepy?”

“I’ll just finish this one,” you tried to reason, but his head shook, holding your hands to stop you from typing. “I promise after this one I’ll shut everything off for the night.”

He continued to reject your suggestion, “you always say that, but then you carry on when I’m not looking, so you’re coming off now, no objections.”

“Alright, I’m coming off,” you giggled, closing your laptop down quickly.

“See, much better.”

---

Masterlist

334 notes · View notes

here4theheartbreak · 3 years

Text

Breadsticks & a Boyfriend (kth/jjk)

AO3 Link Here!

Relationships: Jungkook x Taehyung Genre: smut, pwp Final Rating: Explicit Word Count (Chapter): ~3.4k

Tags (more added as needed): smut, PWP, strangers to lovers, rough sex, dirty talk, sex toys, face fucking, coming untouched, shy Jungkook

Summary: When Taehyung took a simple order of pizza, breadsticks, and a soda to a customer on a rainy day, he had no idea how good his tip would be.

A/N: This fic was written for the @bangtanwritingbingo Summer Bingo square Jungkook x Taehyung and also for @venusiangguk who requested TaeKook with prompt #11: “Is it an oral fixation or do you just not want to talk to me?”

The life of a pizza delivery boy was far more interesting than one would think. Though it was a lower end, minimum wage job, for someone like Taehyung, it was excellent. He was a natural social butterfly. Outgoing, bright, vibrant, always seeking to make new friends. This job allowed him to meet a whole variety of people. Who didn’t like pizza? Upper class, snobby elite individuals, right down to the barely surviving folks who managed to scrape together enough for a small delivery once in a blue moon – Taehyung loved meeting them all.

It was a Friday. It was payday. It was a good day. At least, until the clouds rolled in, darkening the sky and bringing thunder. And unfortunate torrents of rain. But a delivery boy doesn’t get a day off, and orders tended to only increase when the weather was this cruddy.

Taehyung didn’t mind. Not really. He could handle a little rain and he had a sturdy car.

The delivery was simple. A large pepperoni pizza, a small order of breadsticks, and a 2 liter of Coke. Simple. Probably a parent with a young child, a college age student, or a babysitter. Should be quick. Probably not a great tip for any of them, but that was okay; he’d had a big delivery to a house party earlier and had made a massive tip… And gotten a cute boy’s number. Taehyung was handsome, so it happened more than one would assume. The jokes about wanting to sleep with the pizza boy weren’t always jokes. Not that he’d ever go through with any of it. It was simple flirtation, it helped with tips. Taehyung figured he’d have to find someone pretty damn special to actually call them back.

The rain seemed to come down harder as Taehyung drove to the address on his GPS. He reached a cute little house with a nicely kept yard. It was a little bit of a walk from where he was able to park to the porch… The driveway would offer a little more protection and a little shorter distance… Normally he didn’t park in driveways; people tended to sometimes get a little angry – but considering the circumstances…

Taehyung pulled into the driveway, nosing as close as he dared to the garage door. He grabbed the pizza bag and covered it carefully with a plastic sheet before pulling up his hood and getting out. He raced from the driveway to the front door, relaxing only when he was safely on the porch. He knocked once, putting on a broad smile.

The door opened a crack, and then a little further, and then all the way. And Taehyung, for what it was worth, forgot how to breathe.

Standing in the doorway was the most stunning young man he’d ever seen. The man was just a little shorter than he was, with shaggy brown hair that swooped down nearly over his eyes, parted enough to peek his forehead. He wore thick silver hoops in his ears, two in his right and one in his left. His plush mouth and round nose matched his face perfectly, and dark eyes drew Taehyung in almost immediately. The man’s beauty wasn’t lowered or altered in the slightest by the fact that he was wearing a sweater and sweats, his feet bare. He smiled softly, his nose crinkling up.

Taehyung beamed. “Hey. Pizza. You’re…” He glanced at the nametag on the receipt. “Jeon Jungkook?”

Jungkook nodded. He glanced over Taehyung shoulder, his small smile drooping. “Come inside,” he said softly, stepping aside.

“Oh, thank you.” Taehyung stepped inside just enough for Jungkook to close the door, and crouched to take out the food. He handed it over to Jungkook quickly. “Pouring out there,” he commented.

“Flooding,” Jungkook agreed.

Taehyung scowled at that. He turned, glancing out the window. As Jungkook had commented, the streets were nearly filled with water, pouring in rivets in certain areas. Taehyung’s body went cold. “Oh God, it got worse.”

“Doesn’t look safe to drive in,” Jungkook muttered.

Taehyung sighed heavily. He turned back and smiled as best he could. “I’m sure I’ll be fine.”

He turned to grab the doorknob, but Jungkook rushed forward, grabbing his wrist.

“It’s a flash flood. News said it was dangerous. You should stay until it’s lightened up.” His voice was soft and timid, barely above a whisper. Either he was terrified, or truly the shiest man in the city. But he seemed genuine in his concern, and Taehyung felt a strange peace come over him at that.

“I’ll call my boss.” Taehyung turned and pulled out his phone, dialing his boss’ number.

“Kim Taehyung! Are you safe? It got so bad out there, I was worried sick.”

“I’m fine. I’m at the last customer’s house.”

“I shouldn’t have sent you out in this mess. Can you make it back?”

“The roads are pretty flooded. I was calling to ask if I could stay out. Until they clear up. I’ll work extra hours tomorrow.”

“Don’t worry about it. Stay safe. Do you know the customer?”

“No, but he’s letting me stay until it clears up. I’ll let you know when I make it home.”

“Thank you, keep me updated.”

Taehyung hung up and smiled. “She’s okay with me not going back. Uh… Thanks for letting me hide out here until the weather lightens.”

Jungkook nodded. He looked down at the food in his hands and turned, setting it on his table. He turned back, chewing his bottom lip.

Taehyung blinked, unsure what to do. He watched Jungkook disappear through a doorway and then return, holding out a paper plate toward Taehyung.

“Are you offering me lunch?” Taehyung asked. Jungkook nodded, pulling open the pizza box.

“Thanks.” Taehyung kicked his shoes off and hung his hoodie before he stepped up, taking a slice of the pizza. “I’m Kim Taehyung.” He stuck out his hand. Jungkook smiled shyly and shook it. He opened his mouth to answer and then closed it, grabbing a breadstick and sticking it into his mouth instead.

Taehyung laughed a little.

He sat at the table, watching Jungkook eat.

“Do you live alone?” He asked. Jungkook swallowed the bite he had in his mouth and nodded, quickly adding more food to his mouth.

Their lunch continued in that manner – Jungkook would answer yes or no answers, always adding food to his mouth, a drink, or biting on something to keep his mouth too full to give Taehyung much of an answer at all. Despite the one-sided conversation, Taehyung was thoroughly intrigued by Jungkook. He wanted to know everything about him. Namely, why he refused to speak.

Despite his quiet nature, Taehyung could feel Jungkook looking at him whenever he looked away. A few times their gazes met, and Jungkook’s was intense enough that Taehyung found himself a bit flustered. For someone who refused to speak, he was certainly showing plenty of interest.

After lunch, Jungkook wandered over to the couch. He looked at Taehyung and patted the seat next to him. Taehyung smirked. He settled next to Jungkook, turning his attention to the television when Jungkook turned it on, flipping through the channels. He picked up the string on his sweatshirt as he did, sticking it into his mouth and chewing gently on it.

Taehyung chuckled a little. He relaxed back against the couch, glancing over at Jungkook every little bit. Even relaxed like this – the boy was stunning. His profile was nearly perfect. He could easily be a singer or a celebrity.

“What do you do for a living, Jungkook?” Taehyung finally asked.

Jungkook looked over, his eyes wide. He dropped the string from his mouth. “I— I’m computer. I program. Computers.” He stuttered.

“Wow, that’s cool,” Taehyung grinned. “You must be super smart, that’s such a cool job.”

Jungkook smiled shyly. He stuck the string back in his mouth, gnawing on it.

“I’m finishing up college myself,” Taehyung continued, looking back at the television. “For photography and media design. I absolutely love art in all forms.”

He glanced at Jungkook from the corner of his eye, catching the other eyeing him up and down. A slow smirk crossed his lips.

“You know, Jungkook… I’ve gotta ask.” He looked back at him and reached out, tugging the sweatshirt string from his mouth. “Is it an oral fixation, or do you just not want to talk to me?”

Jungkook’s eyes widened. He covered his mouth and tilted his head a little.

“No, I—I don’t not want to talk to you. I mean, I—” He squeaked a little, covering his ears.

Taehyung’s grin grew. “Are you really so shy?”

Jungkook lowered his gaze and nodded.

“Well you don’t have to be.”

Instead of responding, Jungkook slipped his finger into his mouth, chewing the skin around the side of his fingernail.

Taehyung reached out, pushing his hand down. He shifted over a little, staring until Jungkook looked at him.

“You’ve been checking me out all afternoon.”

“You noticed?” Jungkook squeaked. His cheeks began to redden in little blotches, chest rising a little faster. “I’m sorry.”

“Why?”

“It’s creepy,” Jungkook muttered.

“I don’t think so. In fact, I’m pretty flattered.” Taehyung reached out, hesitating a moment before touching Jungkook’s cheek with his hand. “Not often a stunning young man looks at me like that.”

“I didn’t mean to…” Jungkook whispered. He looked away, but didn’t pull his face away from Taehyung’s grip.

“I’ve been looking at you too, Jungkook.” Taehyung paused, letting Jungkook look at him once more. When he did, Taehyung continued. “We’re both adults. If you do have an oral fixation… Well…” Taehyung wet his lips, leaving the question unasked.

Jungkook’s eyes dropped down to his crotch, and Taehyung smirked.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought. Is that what you were thinking about?”

Jungkook didn’t answer. He bit on his lips, sucking them in until they formed a fine line. Taehyung pushed a little further, stroking his thumb over Jungkook’s mouth.

“It’s okay if it was. You just need to tell me. So that I know how to respond.”

Jungkook’s eyes widened just enough to be noticeable. He released the grip on his lips, then bit his bottom lip once more, drumming his fingers on his thigh. “What if I was?” He kept the same soft voice, but there was something else. A rough, needy tone that sent the blood straight to Taehyung’s cock.

“I guess I’d have no choice but to oblige your curiosity. I can’t deny a cute boy his wants, now can I?” Taehyung rose. He put his hands on his jeans, hesitating. “Is this what you were thinking about, Jungkook?”

Jungkook nodded, his eyes glued to Taehyung’s crotch.

Taehyung undid his jeans. He could not honestly believe he was doing this. He pushed his jeans and boxers down, letting them pool around his ankles. His cock was already standing at attention, mostly hard at the prospect of having Jungkook in any way.

Despite his shyness, Jungkook responded immediately. He sank to his knees and stroked Taehyung’s cock twice before opening his mouth. Taehyung pushed his hips forward slowly, letting his smooth tip slide over Jungkook’s tongue.

“Holy shit... Suck on it.”

Jungkook’s lips closed immediately and he began to suck, bobbing his head easily along the shaft. Taehyung’s toes curled. He buried his fingers in Jungkook’s soft curls, letting his head fall back. His cock hardened the rest of the way within seconds. Taehyung snapped his hips forward until the tip of his cock bumped the back of Jungkook’s throat. He looked down.

Jungkook gagged once, screwing his eyes shut. Instead of pulling back, he shifted, swallowing the spit pooling around Taehyung’s cock. He moved back a little and pushed forward. Taehyung felt his tip bump his throat again, and the convulsion of his throat, and then it relaxed.

Taehyung shouted when his tip slipped into Jungkook’s warm, tight throat. He began to pump his hips gently, not wanting to hurt Jungkook, but wanting to savor that tight, unique feeling. He pulled his cock free, marveling at how slick with spit it was, shining in the lamplight. Jungkook let his mouth hang open, drool spilling out over his chin and onto his lap. His cock was tenting the front of his sweats obscenely.

“You getting off swallowing my dick, pretty one?” Taehyung teased, slapping Jungkook’s cheek with his cock.

Jungkook nodded. He leaned back, pulling his sweats down around his knees. His cock wasn’t huge, but it certainly was hard, dripping precome the moment it was exposed.

“Can you come from this, sweetie?” Taehyung cooed. He rubbed his cock over Jungkook’s lips.

“Almost,” Jungkook whispered. “As long as I can finger my ass.”

“Do you have toys?”

Jungkook nodded.

“Go put one in for me. One that will help you come. I want you to squirt without touching yourself.”

“Yes, Sir.” Jungkook rose. He tugged off his sweats and rushed off. Taehyung stroked his cock lazily, Jungkook’s spit slicking the way.

Jungkook returned with a thick, curved dildo in one hand.

“Wanna stick it up my ass?”

“I’d love to.”

Jungkook crawled onto the couch. He let his head hang over the edge, and slung his back and hips up the back of it, folding himself up so his knees nearly touched his chest. The angle exposed, and spread, his ass beautifully. Taehyung spit against his hole, smirking when it fluttered and Jungkook giggled.

“I was fingering myself before you came,” he explained. “Just stick it in.”

Taehyung did as he requested, sliding the silicone cock past his tight rim. Jungkook moaned contentedly, his dick dribbling precome onto his upper chest.

“Jungkook...” Taehyung said, nestling the toy neatly between Jungkook’s ass cheeks. “Can you come on your own face in this position?”

Jungkook nodded.

“Let me know when you’re close... I wanna see that.”

Taehyung shifted, rubbing his cock over Jungkook’s lips once more before sliding into his warm mouth. The new angle let Taehyung watch his cock slowly slipping in, each bob of Jungkook’s Adam’s apple as he swallowed, easing the way for the sensitive tip to finally slip into his throat. Despite having been there earlier - the feeling still caught Taehyung off guard. He lightly rested his hand on Jungkook’s throat as he began to pump his hips. Much to his surprise, right at the start of his throat, Taehyung could feel a little bulge on each inward stroke. He rubbed it gently, gasping at the sudden pressure.

“Oh god, I’m really in your throat—“ he panted. He pulled back and Jungkook gasped in a breath. He grinned, his eyes shut.

“Where’d you think I was putting it?” He teased.

Taehyung slapped his bare ass, working the dildo deeper, and Jungkook moaned.

Taehyung slid his cock back into his mouth, gripping the base of the dildo. One hand rested over Jungkook’s throat, rubbing lightly each time he pumped his cock. The other he used to tug the dildo, not enough to pull it free from the clench of Jungkook’s rim, but just enough to tease.

Jungkook moaned around Taehyung’s cock, the wet gulping noises adding to the obscenity - and sexiness - of the situation.

Jungkook’s cock was leaking precome freely, dribbling clear streaks over his heaving, sweat slicked chest. He began to tap Taehyung’s thigh and pointed at his cock.

Taehyung pulled out, and Jungkook moaned loudly. He reached down, holding his ass open further, and pushing his hips up more. His cock twitched and throbbed visibly. Taehyung began to work the dildo quicker, angling it against where his prostate should be. Jungkook’s eyes rolled back.

“Stick it down my throat,” he begged. His voice was rasping and dry. He opened his mouth wide, sticking his tongue out.

Taehyung obeyed, sliding his cock in. Jungkook’s nose nuzzled against his tight, full balls, and he gagged, his cock twitching. Taehyung struggled to hold still as Jungkook began to swallow and moan around him. The squeeze was bordering on uncomfortable, but Taehyung barely noticed. Jungkook was moaning against him, the vibrations tingling up his cock and all the way to his toes. He almost missed the desperate tapping on his thigh for a second time.

He pulled out, and Jungkook jerked hard. He burped, his cheeks pinking up even more, and his cock began to spurt. The first rope landed on his chin, milky and thick. Jungkook tilted his head just enough and the next two spurted into his open mouth. Taehyung went forward, sliding his cock in. The final hot rope streaked over his shaft, making him shudder. He pushed his cock deep into Jungkook’s mouth, feeling the silky slide of Jungkook’s come as it coated his cock.

He began to pump his hips, chasing his orgasm. “Gonna come in your throat,“ Taehyung gasped, holding Jungkook’s head. Jungkook gave a thumbs up, moaning around his cock.

Two more pumps and Taehyung went still, grunting softly. His cock spilled into Jungkook’s throat, milked by the steady swallows, and urged on by Jungkook’s hands on his ass, holding him deep. The orgasm curled his toes, every nerve alight with pleasure. Each pump he knew he was spilling into the delicate, exposed throat of his pretty new friend. Jungkook’s breath was hot against his balls as he struggled to draw in air and not choke on the come. His own softening cock twitched weakly and dribbled onto his chest.

Taehyung pulled out only when he began to soften, and Jungkook shot up, coughing and gagging. Taehyung sat next to him, rubbing and patting his back. He reached up, wiping away some of the stray come and spit streaking Jungkook’s face.

“You okay?” Taehyung worried. Jungkook nodded, clearing his throat. He smiled sheepishly.

“I’m okay,” he whispered, his voice raspy. Taehyung rose and grabbed the cup of soda from the table, bringing it over to Jungkook. Jungkook rose just enough to pull his sweats up before slumping back onto the couch and taking the cup from Taehyung.

Taehyung fixed his jeans, glancing around.

“So that was… Something…”

“Were you pleased?” Jungkook asked softly, staring into the cup.

“Was I—Of course I was pleased, you were great. I’ve never had someone… So happy to do that. Do you really like it when people…”

Jungkook nodded again. “I don’t get the opportunity often. I’m too shy to really make friends, let alone proposition someone.”

Taehyung sat back down next to Jungkook. “Look, we just met… And I didn’t, obviously… Plan for any of this. So, you would be well within your rights to tell me to fuck off…”

Jungkook looked over, tilting his head a little curiously.

Taehyung smiled. “God you’re cute,” he sighed.

Jungkook giggled a little at that, lowering his gaze. “I already sucked your dick,” he said softly. “You don’t need to butter me up.”

“What if I’m buttering you up for something else?” Taehyung asked. Jungkook looked back up.

“Like what?”

“A date.”

Jungkook raised his eyebrows, making them disappear into his shaggy bangs. “A date? W… With you?”

“Yeah, with me. I like you. I want to get to know you better. What do you think?”

“I—” Jungkook seemed to freeze, pinching his lips together in a fine line.

“You don’t have to say yes,” Taehyung worried.

“No, I – I want to. I just… Why?”

“Because I like you.” Taehyung shrugged. “You want to?”

Jungkook nodded.

“Great. Uh… Well, I mean… Obviously I’m already over but… Maybe this weekend?”

“I’d like that.”

Taehyung grinned. He pulled out his phone and handed it over to Jungkook. “Your number, if you’re okay with that?”

“Yeah, of course.” Jungkook took it and typed it in. As he did, Taehyung rose, peeking out of the blinds.

“Looks like the flooding has gone down enough. I should probably get back to my work.”

Jungkook nodded. He rose, fixing his own pants. He handed Taehyung’s phone back.

“Text me so I can get your number… Drive safe, okay?”

Taehyung nodded. He pulled on his jacket and toed into his shoes. Jungkook moved up to him, looking shy once more.

“What?” Taehyung teased.

“Can I kiss you?”

“Can’t get enough of that oral fixation, eh?” Taehyung joked. He reached out, brushing his thumb over Jungkook’s bottom lip. “Of course you can.”

He pulled Jungkook into a gentle kiss, holding him close. It was funny, he realized, as they separated and he hurried out the door to his car. A simple twist of fate – a forced meeting – a simple call for a pizza on a rainy day – could change an entire life.

#thebtswritersclub #bangtanarmynet #networkbangtan #bangtansummerbingo #taekook #smut #jungkook fic #jungkook smut #taehyung smut #taehyung fic #taehyung x jungkook #jungkook x taehyung #jeongguk x taehyung #jungkook x v #kim taehyung #jeon jungkook #mywriting

87 notes · View notes

ktheist · 4 years

Text

you can sit with us. | m

pairings. taehyung x reader x jungkook

genre. slice of life

words. 5.7k

warnings. explicit content, semi-public sex, threesome (obviously), everyone’s a switch at this point, but top!jungkook, big dick!tae, big dick!jungkook, discussions of sexuality

synopsis. the person frowns, confusion clearly painted on his face, “how can you be dating two people at once and those two people date each other while dating you?”

“it’s cause we’re a thruple - like a couple but with three people.”

the first time you met jeon jungkook and kim taehyung was at a bar downtown. you’d bumped into the tall, dark haired man at the bar who was in the middle of turning around after what seemed to be a reminder for the bartender to serve him and his companion at “table 6.”

“oh sorry,” you find yourself saying to a broad chest before letting your eyes travel up past the gentle protrusion of his adam’s apple and finally his beautiful, mesmerizing eyes but it was the sweet, tender smile that gets you clenching your hands together in hopes to stop them from coming up to fan yourself, “oh there you are! wow, you’re tall!”

the sound of his chuckle was music to your ears, “i get that a lot - have a good one,” with a good natured nod and a parting farewell, he disappeared into the crowd.

you knocked on the counter, fixing the bartender a smile, “hi,” your half buzzed smile dragged out the word into something that might or might be interpreted the wrong way, especially considering where you were but when she smirked at you, you knew this one was going to be on the house, “oh, your teeth are so pretty!”

“thanks, baby, what can i get you?” as self-assured as she was, she still steered the conversation back to the reason you’re there, butt half sitting on the stool and arms propped over the counter, leaning a little too close than one should.

“oh!” you gasped as though you’d just remembered something, “can i have a bloody mary, please?”

“sure thing, sweets,” she winked and you giggled.

the whole time she was preparing your order, she’d kept her eyes on you and you were a giggling mess, eyes of stars staring at the way her nimble hands did their work up till the moment she slid it over to you with a, “it’s on the house.”

“oh my god, thank you!” a pause in the moment and a linger of gaze later, you were pushing the piece of paper with a sequence of numbers into your bra.

there was skip to your step as you made your way over to what was supposed to be a booth that you booked with your friends - who, in the short span of time managed to get their of companions for the night and consequently left no space for you to even sit.

so you stood there, not knowing how much time passed, with your jaws on the ground and the bloody mary held midair. completely frozen in place.

that was, until the handsome stranger beckoned you over from two seats away. he only had one other person with him. if his hair was dark, his companion’s was jet black, “hey, you can sit with us.”

with a dry sniffle, you’d marched way over. a stomp in your steps and a huff as you plopped down across from him and his companion. he’d introduced himself as taehyung and his companion, jungkook. and you had, forgetting everything about your untasteful encounter, brightly announced your name, “thanks so much for letting me sit with you guys,” you gushed, “me and my girlfriends made a promise that we’d never let any man or woman get in our way of girl’s night,” with an face full of dissatisfaction and an exhalation, you continued, “but guess that plan went out of the window.”

“is this your first time? don’t think we’ve seen you before,” jungkook’s voice, if there existed a word to sum up how to describe it, it would be melodic. a hymn of the heavens in the body of a man - a very beautiful man at that.

“no but this is my second time,” and halfway-drunk you had no filter or any sense of shutting the fuck up before you shared too much to strangers, you went on about how “a girl i was sorta a thing with brought me here,” you and her clearly didn’t work out because, otherwise why would you be here with, “so my girlfriends wanted to go to a gay bar and thought why not bring them here, right?” you scoffed, remembering the sisterhood promise made just a few hours ago, “wrong - they ditched me as soon as they saw the only few straight men here.”

that seemed to bring a rise of chuckle from taehyung and a mixture of a chuckle and a scoff from jungkook. for the rest of the night, you drank and did shots and danced on the floor - the two of them seemed a tad bit protective over you, especially when a man got too close. they weren’t looking for any because, “so how long have you guys been dating?”

“we’ve known each other for seven years and we’ve been dating for-” jungkook began before taehyung chirped in, “two years.”

“oh my god, you guys finish each other’s sentences,” you cooed, vision blurred but still somewhat able to process the information that went through your ears “goals.”

so they had no reason to let anyone else come into your little circle of three on top of the very obvious fact that you were too far gone to even consent to even a dance with any man or woman.

you remembered your friends, some time into the night, finding you and thanking the two men for looking out for you before they dragged you out with them. neither of them actually went home with anyone but it still didn’t stop you from holding a vendetta against them because, “girls, we made a sacred promise and you broke it!”

they’d bribed you with ice cream and sushi and you were a puddle of delighted jelly by the time you all walked out of the sushi place.

it was a month later that you’d returned to the bar, decked in your best curve-hugging skin-tight dress. this time, you were alone.

the plan to earn brownie points from the bartender fell through when you found out that she was quit a few days ago and the employer refused to give you any details about her - even her number to you because you’d regrettably got it wet beyond repair after dumping the clothes you’d worn that night into the washer before going to bed and setting the laundry to wash the next morning, forgetting the treasure that you’d gained the night before.

with shoulders sagged and a mournful pout, you’d walked over to one of those two-people tables, hoping to get a beer in a leave. but then they were there, sitting at the same table, beckoning you over like the good overnight friends that they were.

“what’s with the long face, sweetie?” taehyung pouted, eyebrows knitting together as he shot you the prettiest puppy eye to which made you giggle in response.

so you’d told them about how you’d fucked up with one of the cutest girl you’d seen in ages. “ugh, i hate when that happens,” jungkook made an over exaggerated eyeroll, probably to cheer you up which partially worked.

until you three decided to dance again with taehyung holding your hand up as you twirled around like a princess in red. when it’s jungkook’s turn to twirl, he had to bend his knees and gradually make a full circle in an awkward way but still ended with a hair flip.

and so it went, a friendship of mutuality and overflowing gayness. you’d become eating buddies who travelled all over seoul for the best foodplace that’s ever been reviewed. had stay overs when you’d driven out of town and back to their place. went to the bar every so often which they’d taken up the task of being your wingmen.

they succeeded in their jobs a few times. but the girls you’d slept with never stayed and you never thought of proceeding to reach out beyond a one nightstand. because you were young and they were sweet but you didn’t think a relationship of trust and confidence could ever spawn from meetings at bars and spurred into a hot, passionate romance that simmered into ashes the next day.

“i don’t know you guys,” you sigh, “i think i’m done with girls.”

“oh no,” taehyung looks genuinely mortified while jungkook shakes his head “a loss for the gays and girls” and you giggle- never a dull moment with these two.

“i’m not saying i’m done done but it’s been awhile since i’ve sucked a dick, you know?” and with friendship came honesty and the comfortableness of saying things for what it is without being judged for it.

“oh don’t we know,” jungkook snickers, while taehyung shoots him a look - he’d always been the shy one between the two. the younger man goes in for a kiss, to which the elder accepts, meeting him halfway.

and all of it only makes you a tad bit lonely as you scan the crowd. some gorgeous beings catches your eye and you’d like to think you caught theirs too but instead of the gentle and loving affection you’d seen between the two men, their eyes were sparked with lust and passion. like nymphs of the night who’d leave you high and dry once they got what they wanted.

so you left to get a drink at the bar, ordering a shot of jeager in hopes of drinking away the creeping hollowness that begins to fill the lonely parts of your heart. several shots in and you’re tumbling over to your two friends who seem to be have taken things up several notches after your leave. with taehyung on top of jungkook and the first not so shy anymore to let out unrestrained moans as his younger other half laps on his neck.

you’re halfway drowned into your own little world and probably will be going home with them and crashing in that spare bedroom you’ve started calling your part time bedroom.

until you lock eyes with jungkook. his lower face buried in taehyung’s shoulder while the latter pauses, glancing over to you as though just remembering that you were there. still having the sense to lift an inquisitive eyebrow, you do so with a, “oh don’t mind me, i’m just happy that you guys are getting some tonight.”

“you know,” jungkook pauses, letting the seconds trickle on like the droplets of on the wall of the glass before it hits the surface of the table, “you wanted to suck a dick, right? welll we’ve got dicks.”

it takes you a long winded, painful moment to digest his words. another to let out a mixture of a chuckle and a scoff as if to say, “you’re kidding...” but the “...right?” comes a second too late. a second too hopeful.

and that’s how you end up in the washroom - you’re not quite sure if it’s the men or women’s but you’re surprised that it could fit three adults in one tiny cubicle. but the matter of how to suck whose dick was an entirely different problem.

“shit ___, your elbow’s in my stomach,” jungkook hisses in a muted whisper, his hand on your hip, no doubt the culprit of your ridden up dress until your cotton panties are out in the open.

“fuck, jungkook, move over, i can’t reach tae’s dick,” you grumble out, the aforementioned man’s hardened dick in your hand but the space not allowing you to even crouch in front of him as he sat on the toilet whilst jungkook stood behind you.

“will someone just suck my dick?” the latter sighs just as he throbs in your hand.

“wait,” jungkook says, earning a dissatisfied groan from you and his boyfriend but before either of you can say anything, he’s turning you around, hands guiding your hips, “tae, push her panties down.”

almost as though controlled by an invisible force, the man’s hands are quick to get those baby pink panties down until they’re hanging around your ankles.

“hey wait wait wait!” you repeat like a mantra as you feel jungkook’s hands guiding you down onto taehyung’s lap which, if you remember correctly, was sporting a protruding hardness in between.

“oh fuck,” yes, you’d just confirmed that an extremely erected and extravagantly lively dick is excitingly welcoming you with the way it’s jolting against your lower lips.

“oh my god,” taehyung moans, hands on the curve of your hips as he gently lowers you onto him until he’s fully inside you.

“that’s nice that you two are enjoying yourselves but - remember i’m the one that made this work,” a voice says before a hand wraps around your wrist, guiding it to a similarly throbbing hardness but of a lesser length than taehyung’s to which you soon realize that he makes it up with his girth.

“someone’s jealous,” the person behind you snickers - you have half a mind to join in on the teasing if it isn’t for your hips and knees focusing on keeping up your weight whilst you hand strokes the length in front of you, mouth lapping on his tip.

“shut up and kiss me, pretty boy,” you can almost hear the eye roll from jungkook’s voice as the tip of your nose hits his pelvic, mouth stretching wider as his leans over you, possibly to lock lips with the man he vindictive but lovingly complimented.

and so it goes, your first dick - two actually - after a long while. needless to say, you come out flushed and walking silly but both men had their hands around the opposite hip from the side they’re standing beside. it helps you hold yourself up at least until you’re in their car, switching from sticking your tongue in taehyung’s throat to jungkook’s when he stops at a red light. body stretching over the leg space between the passenger seat and the back of the driver’s seat, his neck probably hurting from having to crane around until he reaches your lips whilst taehyung’s keeps himself busy with a hand under your panties. teasing, rubbing your pleasure nub just above your lips until you’re soaking by the time the car rolled to a stop in their parking lot.

“scoot over,” jungkook instructs, unbuckling his seatbelt, “we really need to normalize waiting for the third person to finish doing whatever they were doing before deciding to fuck in the back seat of the car while they’re driving.”

“can i have your mouth, sweetie?” taehyung announces, sending waves of excitement down your core as you feel yourself clench in anticipation.

there’s just something about how they manhandle you - your hips particularly as taehyung lifts you up and slides away to the right of the car and setting you down like a little doll, hand pushing down his pants and letting his erection shoot up like a roly poly.

“great cause i want her pussy,” jungkook’s displeased tone is replaced by a breathy agreement.

and just like his other half, he’s making you stand on your knees, body bent over taehyung until his dick is in your face, oozing with precum.

“tae baby, at this point, you don’t even have to ask,” you fix him a smirk, savoring the way his eyes darken with a sort of godless desire as you lap at his tip like you would a lollipop.

the second time around, you’re much better at focusing on what’s in front of you despite the other length filling you up balls deep.

you’re not sure when you’d stopped or what time you fell asleep. but all you knew, you were sore and full by the time you were drifting between the waking world and the dream world.

the morning when you woke up, it’s been because of the way the bed shook like an earthquake was wrecking up the room. an earthquake that moaned, “deeper, jungkook, oh fuck.”

the sight before you has you clenching your thighs together but at the same time, the giggle that left your lips is what causes heads to turn and eyes to focus on you.

“did we wake you up, sweetie? i’m so sorry,” taehyung is the first to worry, “oh yes-” but that worry subsides when jungkook starts moving again, skin slapping skin.

but the elder isn’t quite ready to give up just yet, “we wanted to wait for you to- ah - get up - fuck - oh,” he whimpers, burying his face into the mattress before peeking at you with eyebrows knitting together, “when we were talking about l-last night, we - we couldn’t help ourselves.”

“don’t worry about me, i had plenty of dick to go for at least a whole month,” you stare at taehyung’s pinked lips for the briefest moment before searching his eyes, feeling a sudden heat rise to your cheeks when you notice he’d caught the lingering stare - last night was fun but all three of you were buzzed and possibly horny as hell, you’re not so sure if a kiss would be welcomed by either of them now that you’re all sober and awake.

“i’m gonna go shower,” you announce, throwing your feet over the edge of the bed, the sound of your padding steps drowned by their pleasured moans.

the hot shower helps ease the knots in your muscles and calm your mind - or at least partially. the sight of the two boyfriends shamelessly fucking in front of your eyes still plays at the back of your mind like a graphic scene. and so you find yourself caressing your hardened nipples, your free hand snaking down between your legs as a whimper escapes your mouth. almost as though anything louder, and the whole world would know what you’re doing.

“what? you’re touching yourself?” a melodic but dangerous voice reverberates against the wall and cuts through the sound of running shower.

before you can even call out - ask who it is even though it’s obvious whose voice it belongs to, the curtain is torn open, revealing a sculpted god - you didn’t notice last night because it was dark but even then you’d known those strong arms that held you must be hiding something else underneath those layer of clothes.

“oh, hey, tae - the bathroom’s kinda oc-” you were about to ask what he was doing because the bathroom was obviously occupied - besides the fact that it’s the guest room’s bedroom and the main bedroom had their own bathroom - but before you can, a pair of arms are pulling you against another body. muscular and deliciously built but exceptionally predatory.

“you weren’t gonna come without us, are you?” taehyung’s crestfallen expression is all you see. his downturned lips and puckered lips being your weakness.

“y-you guys were busy, so i-” your words are cut short when you feel the coldness of a breath against you damp ear, “uh-uh, who said we were?” jungkook’s teasing denial is what makes you clench your legs together, only for them to be pried open by the dark haired man who’s fallen to his knees right in front of you.

“tae!” you shriek, caught by surprised at the sudden lost of balance as he hooks one leg over his shoulder whilst your hand claws onto jungkook’s arms that’s banded over your chest for a sort of leviation.

“shhh,” jungkook hums in your ears, as though to say ‘we’d never let you fall’.

but you didn’t fall and taehyung’s looking at you with the prettiest eyes, “what? you said i didn’t have to ask, right?”

“n-no,” the heat comes on full force - all of a sudden, the hot water trickling down your bodies aren’t even remotely sufficient to keep you warm, “you don’t have to.”

and so it goes, your many firsts within the short span of less than 24 hours, spurred by the two wonderful souls you never thought you’d come to know so closely within the duration of your friendship.

you waited with nothing but a towel around your body until jungkook knocked on the door, a folded set of clothes in hand.

“oh hey thanks - don’t know what i’d do if i had to walk in the streets in fishnets and flashy red dress,” you force out a chuckle, cheeks heating up as you swipe the clothes off his hands in a blink of an eye. to which he heaves out a sigh, but the smile on his lips tells you that he’s all but angry.

“hey, i know what went on in the last few hours was crazy,” he starts, sounding uncannily casual about it, “but we don’t want this to get in the way of what we’ve built - can we talk about this over breakfast? tae’s making it now but- i mean, if you want to, of course.”

and that’s when you finally let the walls come tumbling down. standing there bare - quite literally - with your chest washed off its initial worries, “honestly, i’d really like that.”

“perfect,” the brightest smile lights up on his face and for a moment, you thought everything went back to normal. back when all three of you are hanging out and joking about the littlest things one of you realized and pointed out to the other two.

“oh and,” jungkook tilts his head to the side, “sorry if i was rude or anything last night,” he quickly adds, “and just now - i tend to be like that during sex.”

“oh,” is all that follows your response, thoughts running around before you can actually reach out one by one to process it - so single celled brain goes, “i kind of like that side of you, actually.”

“really?” there it goes the smile that could quite literally blind you as his shoulders visibly sags, “tae hates it when i boss him around - thank god that’s not the majority opinion from now on.”

“from now on?” you echo his words but before you can interrogate him some more, he’s out of the door and yelling for you to come to the kitchen when you’re done putting on the clothes.

so you find yourself sitting in front of the two boyfriend whom you’ve spend quite a night knowing. they’re gazing at you with eyes that can’t stop squinting into crescents and smile that can’t stop smiling.

“okay should i tell or you?” taehyung turns to the darker haired male, their hands that are twined together moving towards the man he’s pointing.

“how about together?” jungkook suggests, a glint in his eyes that makes you stare, wide eyed and unblinking. pancake lying cold and uneaten as you wait with bated breath, “...tell me what?”

before you can even finish your words, the two bursts out in exclamation, “we like you.”

taehyung’s is a bit more excited while jungkook’s is a tad bit reserved.

“i like you guys too!” you declare, hands clapping together in excitement.

“oh my god, you do?” taehyung squeals, bringing his free hand and the one he has twined with jungkook to his heart.

“don’t i?” you make a ridiculous sound, hand waving away the ludicrosity of the possibility of you saying otherwise, “i’m glad we get to put last night behind us and still be friends.”

“i don’t think she gets it,” jungkook says a whole heartbeat later whilst taehyung’s upturned lips gradually but surely falls.

“what?” your eyes flit between the two, as if trying to spot the thing you seem to obviously miss.

“sweetie,” taehyung reaches his hand to you, to which you gladly accept before jungkook does the same with his other hand and you similarly meet halfway over the table “we like like you,” the taller man emphasizes.

it takes you a moment to digest his words. another to squint your eyes at them with a ‘okay where’s the punchline?’ kind of smile. and one last moment for it to sink in, “i thought you guys were gay and last night and this morning was a mistake?”

“i thought so too,” taehyung is the first to break the bond, his free hand coming to his chest, bent in a 90 degrees angle, “but i’ve had girl crushes and they went away after i met jungkook so i thought they were just me being in denial of my sexuality but i like spending time with you and jungkook,” he slips his large hand into yours that stays frozen on the table where he’d left it, his thumb caressing your knuckles, “i like the way you smile, the way you’d team up with me to tease jungkook,” that receives a snort from the man in question, “the way you’re always so supportive and optimistic- i just - i like you.”

“well, what he said except i like everything he’s not about you,” jungkook simply says, “and unlike him, i know i’m bi.”

“and we want you to be a part of this wonderful, beautiful, delightful relationship,” taehyung adds, fixing you the most tender smile as he gazes at you as though he’s never seen such a magnificent creature before.

“i mean...” you breathe out, a sea of emotions crashing against your chest before you finally say, “this is a lot to take in guys. i don’t know what to say - i think i need some time for myself.”

“oh,” it’s the way taehyung seems like he has more to say, the way his smile is completely replaced with a hesitant flat line and the way jungkook lets go of their twined hands to rub the elder man’s back.

“it’s okay, take your time,” he says, and you shoot him a grateful but awkward smile before taking your things and leaving through the door. unsure of whether you’ll ever return. whether you’ll ever laugh about the stupidity of bravely idiotic characters in horror movies again. whether you’ll ever huddle in the kitchen trying to cook dinner for three again. whether those peaceful days will ever be yours again depending on your own choices.

days go by and then one week and then two and you’ve confided in at least two people whose reactions are similarly perturbed by what you’ve told them until you’ve concluded that nobody will truly understand the confusion and frustration and jitters that courses through your veins when you think about the two charming but glaringly different ends of the spectrum men.

one is like the blue sky, bright yet vast and a trove of never ending possibilities while the other is like the midnight sky, decked with fleeting moments of vulnerability and endless mystery. but both, you’ve come to realize, are the reasons your view of the world has changed for the better. made your days a little more worth looking forward to. and it’s exiting and daunting all at once because the people you’ve confided in have expressed their concerns and dissertation of what they think hides behind the veils of normality. a box they’re not so used to stepping out of and deems those beyond the cardboards uncommon. foreign. unknown.

and truthfully, you’ve already decided what you want - know what you want to do on your way back that day after you’d made a beeline for the door. and as you stand in front of the same door, sniffling from the remnants of your fight with your parents after your sister - one of the people you’d confided in - deliberately told them about what she thinks - and she thought right - you’re about to do.

two rings later, you’re staring at a face of an angel. doe eyes hiding behind jet black locks widening as the sight of you hits him like a brick.

“____, hey, it’s okay,” jungkook says in the softest voice as he gathers you in his arms like an old cardigan.

“baby, who’s at the door?” comes the loud but smooth baritone a minute later.

he must have seen himself - who their uninvited guest is as silence settles in between all three of you before taehyung’s coos, “oh, sweetie.”

it’s only after an hour of ice cream and watching friends and the two boyfriends wrapping you up in a burrito blanket that you blanket do you spill the beans on why you showed up at their door at 11 in the evening, looking like a mess they never ordered.

your parents are livid. they think this isn’t real - that you’re being delusional and that both taehyung and jungkook were messing with you. it was the slander on the two soul’s names that has you unleashing the words you’d never thought you’d say to your own parents.

“i can take liking girls. that’s fine - but a relationship of three?” your father had stood in front of you, fingers pointing at his head as he spat out, “are you crazy?”

the family dinner had turned into a family quarrel. and your sister had been caught up in between - she’d wanted you too see the ludicrosity of it all and if not her, then maybe you’d listened to your parents.

and listened you did.

like a time bomb surrounded with dynamites, you’d eventually exploded. anything you say would never get through the and anything they said, you’d taken negatively.

so you took the cab straight to taehyung and jungkook’s.

“i just - it hurts because they won’t accept you guys and that means they’re rejecting me,” you sniffle, “i’m sorry i took so long.”

“hey, it’s okay, you’re with us now,” jungkook gathers you in lap whilst taehyung wraps his arms around the both of you from your other side, “yeah, cry all you want sweetie, we’re here for you.”

you wake up the next morning huddled up in a king sized bed with the two men on either side of you, almost like a knights protecting their princess as she slept like a baby after crying her eyes out for another half hour. your legs are tangled together, a pair of mismatched hands on your stomach while a snore resounds from your left where taehyung is sleeping like a beauty and jungkook on your right like an angel.

and for the first time in a long time, that hollowness in your chest cowers away in the light of the day that seeps through the blinds, painting paralleled shadows over your skin.

“i love you,” you whisper, looking between their two peacefully sleeping faces.

“hey, beautiful, you come here often?” a gruff voice reverberates in your ears just as you’ve placed the order for you and-

“yeah, with my boyfriends,” you shoot him a polite smile before attempting to slip past him and the stools you’re trapped in between but before you can even manage to move, he inches closer.

it’s been a year since you’ve been dating taehyung and jungkook. eight months since you’ve decided to move in with them for good. your parents reached out to you two months ago after declaring your banishment from ever stepping in their property let alone attend family dinners and gatherings. your relatives have all heard about your unusual but not unreal relationship and so have taehyung’s and jungkook’s families.

opposition still rises from both sides of the families’ distant relatives. it’s not too far off from yours.

“oh, you mean how girls call their lady friends girlfriends,” a lecherous grin forms on his face, “i get it.”

“no,” you hiss, needles of annoyance getting to you earlier tonight than most nights, “i mean my boyfriends who i’m dating.”

the person frowns, confusion clearly painted in his face, “how can you be dating two people at once and those two people date each other while dating you?” he doesn’t even wait for your response as he takes a step back, “a simple ‘no’ could’ve done the trick, you think you’re better than me?”

“it’s cause we’re a thruple - like a couple but with three people,” you tilt your head to the side just the slightest bit, seeing him in a different but not any more attractive angle, “and honey, i know i’m better than you.”

and with that, you raise a challenging brow, daring him to say otherwise just as a smooth but deadly voice calls for you, “____, you were taking so long so we decided to check on you, is everything okay, sweetie?”

“hey man, what business do you have with our girlfriend?” jungkook lifts an eyebrow in a similar fashion as you as he glares down at the man who’s at least a few inches short.

“you-” the man steals a petrified glance at you as the realization sinks in his eyes but before he can say anything, you strut in between the two men, smirking when one of their arms snake around your waist in a possessive nature.

“nope,” you say simply, “shorty here was just leaving, weren’t you?”

he mumbles out something incoherent, between a ‘liar’ and ‘rude’ before scurrying away and out into another part of the bar until you can no longer see him.

“thanks for having my back, babes,” you stand on your tip toe only to have taehyung chuckle, bending over until your lips press his before doing the same to jungkook, “baby,” and the two sharing a kiss together a heartbeat later.

“let’s dance!” you grab their hands and begin to drag them to the dance floor which does nothing if they hadn’t move themselves and they know it too as they laugh, the taller men patting your hair gently because he knows how long you worked on it.

“our girlfriend is so cute, isn’t she?”

jungkook pushes taehyung’s hands away only to ruffle the top of your hair despite your protest, “sure is.”

“my hair!” you lament, “babes, baby messed up my hair!”

you tug on your boyfriend’s sleeve, the man looking between you and his boyfriend, unsure of whether to be the pacifier or the scolder. in the end, he goes in for a kiss on your pouted lips, “you look beautiful either way, sweetie.”

“oh my god, it’s ruined, isn’t it?” you question, eyes filling with dread.

the culprit has the gal to laugh at your predicament until you announce your choice of dance partner being your taller boyfriend for the rest of the night and him not exactly opposing it whilst jungkook is left to trail behind you until he catches up between you, arms around your waist and taehyung’s, “okay, okay, sorry - i’ll make it up to both of you later tonight!”

at that bold yet careless exclamation, you look at taehyung, only to see the corners of his lips lifting into a devious smirk similar to yours.

“it’s been awhile since we took out the whip, hasn’t it?”

#jungkook #taehyung #bts #jeon jungkook fanfic #kim taehyung fanfic #kim taehyung smut #jeon jungkook smut #jungkook scenario #bts scenario #bts smut #jungkook smut #taehyung smut #bts x reader #jungkook x reader #taehyung x reader #bts scenarios #taehyung scenarios #jungkook scenarios

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lonelyhobi · 3 years

Text

Surprise Baby

☆summary: gone is master and in his place is Taehyung who has a hell of a surprise for you

☆pairing: taehyung x reader

☆warnings: fingering, and cuteness lol this is basically fluff with an orgasm

☆word count: 2.5k

A:N: This is solely to stress out @scribblemetae I hope you all enjoy and can be seen as a part 2 to punishment since it’s the same couple but doesn’t have to be read in order to understand <3

“Baby?”

You hear Taehyung question as he steps through the door. The way his body smile lights up as he takes in your appearance has your face flushing with heat and heart racing. You had just gotten home and barely kicked your shoes off in your entryway when Tae was strutting across the living room and taking you into his arms “Hey” he mumbles into your hair as he holds you close to his chest. He inhaled deeply commuting your scent to memory, feeling at home with you in his arms. “Hi” you giggle out into his body enjoying the steady beat of his heart filling your ears.

“I miss you today” his voice booms from his chest. You lean back to face him as you roll your eyes playfully.

“I saw you this morning silly. I just stepped out for a bit” pulling you back towards him he shushes your gently “don’t care. Need to see you” he begins kissing your head repeatedly as he leads you to your couch.

He sits down before pulling you onto his lap and your back pressed against his chest. Arms wrapped around your waist he nuzzled his nose into your neck leaving light kisses there.

“I have a surprise for you” you barely make out the words but you feel giddy thinking of what it could be. Taehyung had a talent for sweeping you off your feet in any way imaginable.

“Ooooh what is it?” You question turning and placing a kiss along his jaw. He sighs gently holding you close to him.

“You’ll find out soon but right now I just want to hold you like this okay?”

There was a hint of nervousness in his voice and you would’ve pried but you also knew that Tae tended to let things out on his own. You had a better chance of waiting it out to see what was bugging him. Plus it felt ridiculously nice to be here in his arms, his warm body making you feel safe and loved. You both stayed whispering sweet nothing and retelling each other of your time apart. Kisses were stolen and cuddles given.

“Okay get up” Taes voice comes out more domineering than he intends and the way you quickly scramble out of his grasp and onto your feet obeying his command has him flinching.

“I’m sorry angel I didn’t mean that. It’s TaeTae okay?”

Your eyes soften as you stare at the man you adore nodding when you see he really is just Taehyung and not Master tonight. His smile returns as he stands and holds out his hand for you. You both walk into your shared bedroom before he turns towards you placing his hands on your eyes.

“Promise not to trip me” a giggling Tae guides you slowly and can’t help but think he’s purposely gonna ram you into the wall and not in a fun way.

“baby I wouldn’t do that” he laughs.

“Tae that’s exactly what you’d do, can I look now?” You ask as he most certainly opened the door to your restroom. When you step in your immediately hit with the sweet scent of candles you bet are lit all around. His hand drops with a “surprise” and you take in the sight.

A warm bath is drawn, with flower petals and foaming soap, two glasses of champagne sit on the counter, and a cheesy trail of red roses start from your feet to the tub. “Y-you did this?” Nodding excitedly Taehyung stares at his work. When he doesn’t hear anything else from you he steps in front of your face and his voice cracks when he asks “wait you’re crying? You don’t like it?”

Quickly you reach out for his hand “no no! I do babe! It’s so romantic. I just wasn’t expecting it.” His gaze fills with adoration hearing you and your hand trails to his cheek “I love it.”

“I love you” Tae grins as he presses his lips to yours. Your hands wrap around his neck while his circle around your waist. You find yourself swaying around the bathroom to music only the two of you can hear, lost in the feeling of the man you love.

Pulling away gently Taehyung grasps the hem of his shirt pulling it off in one tug before undoing his pants just as quickly.

“Can I baby?” He asks as his fingers dance to the hem of your dress. Nodding your consent he smiles and undresses you until you're standing bare for him.

“Everyday I thank every possible deity in existence for blessing me with you.” His hands cup your face to give you a tender kiss. “And then I also thank every sin invoking presence for making you such a perfect pet for me” whimpering out you climb closer to Taehyung searching for his lips and he just chuckles giving into your mouth.

“But today is about us. I want to do something special, I-I mean I have something special.” With a quirk of your eyebrow he’s tugging you over to the bath. He steps over the edge and settles himself before making grabby hands for you.

“So needy” you laugh stepping in with him and settling into the space he made between his legs for you.

“Shh! Only you can know'' and he leans in taking your earlobe between his lips biting before running his tongue over. “

Tae!!” Shrieking in his grasp you wiggle around in his arms. “Hey! Quit wiggling baby your gonna get all the water out and I haven’t gotten to do anything.”

You pause titling your head back against his shoulder “Oh? And what were you planning doing” you raise your brows suggestively pulling your best sultry look.

“Get that pretty head out of the gutter. Lean forward please” he asks sweetly and you do so only to let out a literal moan when his comes in contact with your back and shoulder.

His hand kneads your body that he has memorized and he basks in the whimpers of pleasure you emit. “Good baby?” Nodding lightly you moan out softly “So good Tae”

He continues his motions on your body before he’s pushing you up against him once again. His hand slips around to your front and he’s circling both of your nipples with his index fingers lightly. “Thought you said no gutter” his deep chuckle is interrupted by his fingers pinching you right nipple teasingly causing you to squeal.

“That rule applies only for you baby. Because when it comes to me I can’t stop thinking about all the things I want to do to you, and want you to do for me.” You moan lightly as he continues to play with your hardened buds as you arch your back offering you breasts to him.

“Good girl baby” he mumbles, pressing his lips to the skin of your exposed neck. His nimble fingers trail down your breasts to the tops of your thighs and you feel his nails scratch you gently up and down. “Taehyung” you whine out feeling yourself getting more and more aroused by the second.

“I’ll give you whatever you want just tell me” he tells you his own voice cracking as he stares at your willing body pressed up against his, the pretty noises your mouth keeps letting out having turned him into a rock hard mess ages ago.

“I want fingers, please” and without a moment to spare both hands dip between your thighs, one coming to spread your lips and the other running from your clit to the tip of your entrance.

He plays around with your needy pussy for a bit until you can't take it, every so often his finger teases at your hole and you find yourself pushing up to catch his finger. “And you said I was the needy one” he mocks you before slipping just the tip of his finger into you before pulling it out.

“Kim Taehyung” you call out in the brattiest tone you muster up and once again he can only laugh at his desperate girl aching for his fingers. ”Okay okay I’m done you’re right whatever you want.” And he’s back to slipping his skilled digit into your hole. He keeps a steady beat of thrusting his finger in and out before a second one joins in. You feel him lightly press into your back as the tight fit of your pussy has you clenching around his fingers. “God you’re tight. Such a perfect pussy baby” and you mewl against his neck burying yourself in his scent. He continues his thrust into your tight hole, his hand spreading your lips making its way to your clit rubbing in tight circles. “Tae it feels so good” and your praise has both his hands moving rapidly in and against you pushing you closer to your climax.

Crying out his name you feel your orgam sweep through your body, legs trying to squeeze shut but Taehyung's strong grip and unrelenting pace on your clit doesn’t give up despite your wails. He rides out your orgasm until you're near tears mumbling his name “That’s my girl, so good always cums for me”.

Taking his fingers from your cunt he brings them to his lips trying to savor what he can despite the water. You lay there on his chest aware of his painful erection pressing against your back as he licks all over his fingers. When he’s sufficiently sucked what he could of your essence he brings his fingers to you mouth and despite your eyes being closed you feel them prod st your mouth. Quickly and greedily opening your mouth taking in his spit covered fingers and sucking them.

Pulling them out he’s planting a kiss on your temple. “Good?” and you nod as your hand slips around to find his hard cock between your ass cheeks. “Uh uh” he says as he pulls your hand up bringing it to your lips to kiss your palm.

“Just you right now, I want to give you something.”

“But you said whatever I want and I want your cock Tae '' and once again the brat in you is showing and you don’t miss the clench of Taehyung's jaw at your behavior. If he were Master today you definitely could say goodbye to whatever he had planned for you. But as Taehyung you could basically get away with murder and you were for sure going to milk it. So you reach down and take his hard member into your group stroking him up and down until he’s once again gripping your wrist.

His voice is hushed and sends a thrill down your back “I might be Taehyung right now but don’t think for a second that Master can’t make a guest appearance and put you in your place, don’t take advantage Pet.”

Shivering at his tone you’re nodding as you let go of his cock, the frown on your face still there. Taehyung is kissing the side of your head before nudging you up. “Calm down baby, I want you to enjoy this, be good a little longer” and you're nodding your head standing up.

As you’re about to step out of the tub Taeyhung is gripping your shoulders “Wait give me a second!” and before you know you hear him step out of the tub and waddle his way out of the bathroom shivering. You don’t question him, just stand there entirely confused at what this man was doing until he returns almost slipping on the tile but holding two fluffy towels.

“I just took them out of the dryer so they would be warm!” His boxy smile makes an appearance once again and you can’t help but smile back at his thoughtfulness. Walking over he wraps you up in a towel before wrapping his towel around his waist.

He picks up the glasses of champagne handing you your before holding up the glass once again “To us baby” a smiling Tae toasts. “To us.” And you stand there sipping your champagne as he insists on drying you and applying your lotion all over you. When he’s done he plants a sweet kiss to your lips before leading you out to the bedroom.

“Okay baby can you sit down for me?” and you nod planting yourself at the foot of the bed as he once again exits the room. This time he returns with a white shopping bag that has you once again confused. He walks to where you are setting the bag down before he’s on his knees in front of you.

“Baby” he says sweetly, gripping your hands that are in your lap. “You are everything, like when people say that they want to find it. That’s what you are for me, it. Not that creepy ass clown but the solution to every problem in my life, and sometimes the cause of them too” you giggle a little at his rushed out speech but your heart still flutters. “I know you’re the one for me. There isn’t a single doubt in my mind that I want to spend the rest of my days worshiping you.” His thumbs had started to stroke the back of your hands to calm himself down. “And I trust you, God I’m convinced you were made for me baby.” Your own hands squeeze him to encourage him to go on. “Look this isn’t sudden I’ve been thinking about it for a while and like I said I’m going to be spending the rest of my life with you s-”

“Taehyung.” you mutter out barely above a whisper

He immediately stops his rambling and looks into your eyes, his own having grown wide.

“A-are you, is this you proposing?” you barely manage to mumble out your question and his own alarm grows.

“No! God no! Wait not like that I meant like, no that's not what I’m doing.” You let out a sigh of relief as you notice his own nerves have settled.

“Okay so then what’s the surprise if not a ring?”

“Well it is a ring, just not an engagement ring” He reaches into the white bag and pulls out a black velvet box that opens to reveal the most stunning emerald you’ve ever seen. The deep green of the emerald shines even in the dimly lit room and you can’t imagine how much he must’ve spent.

“Taehyung I- it’s beautiful”

“And still it’s nothing compared to you, let me see your hand” He slips the finger onto your ring finger and you throw him another curious look. “What? It’s more of a promise ring, I mean half of the time you wear a collar with my name around your neck this is just a classier collar” he reasons, staring at the ring on your finger.

Shaking your head you lean over to pull his lips to yours. “It’s stunning, but I don’t need a ring, I just need you.” And now he’s pulling you in closer planting a sweet kiss.

“Wait why were you so nervous then if you’re not proposing?” you ask, pulling away from him.

“O-oh uh I also wanted to give you something else.”

“Which is?”

He reaches over into the bag and what he pulls out has your eyes widening even more than when you saw the ring. In Taehyung's hands he was holding a strap on and a bottle of lube.

“I want to give you my ass”

#kim taehyung smut #bts smut #bts fic #v smut #taehyung smut

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farfromsugafanfic · 3 years

Text

Sutures - Chapter Three: Anosognosia

Genre: Soulmates AU, Idiots to Lovers, slight Enemies to Lovers

Pairing: Yoongi/Named Reader

Warnings (chapter specific): drinking, drunkenness, light smut, sex dream, implications of oral sex, obsessive behavior from an ex, unhealthy relationship dynamic (not on part of Yoongi & OC)

Synopsis: “A person often meets his destiny on the road he took to avoid it.” –Jean de la Fontaine

There was only one thing you and Min Yoongi had in common that night. You were both brokenhearted. You only intended to be together for one night, but when you both end up in the hospital the next day you discover that you are soulmates. It could kill you to be apart. As you and Yoongi attempt to sever the bond between you, will another be formed?

Notes: This was originally written and completed on Wattpad between 2018 and the beginning of 2020. I’ll be slowly posting the chapters here. I may make a tag list depending on if enough people want to follow along with updates. Leave me some feedback if you would like added to a tag list.

Previous | Series Masterlist | Next

Yoongi saw the look in your eyes shift from soft curiosity to sheer panic. He felt the pit of his stomach fill with guilt. He shouldn't have slept with you; sure, the two of you would still have this problem, but no one would've had reason to find your shoes. You wouldn't have had reason to leave them behind.

He'd felt betrayed, he'd felt lonely, he'd felt unloved by those he wanted to love him most. But, that was no excuse to sleep with the first attractive girl he found.

"Have you told Bang PD yet?" Namjoon asked, his demeanor calm, but Yoongi could see the slight shock cross over his features, causing his thick lips to pout and his chin to jut out.

Yoongi shook his head.

"I'll call him," Namjoon said. The leader placed a reassuring hand on your shoulder. He blocked Yoongi's view of you. He worried in those few seconds you were blocked from his view that you would collapse into Namjoon's chest and cry the tears meant for him. The tears because of him.

Namjoon left the room, leaving Yoongi alone with you. He tried his best not to focus on the way your tank top hugged your chest and exposed the hickeys he'd left the night before and that Namjoon probably noticed it too.

"You look tired," Yoongi said. "We can't do anything until tomorrow anyway. Try and get some sleep."

You nodded and Yoongi wasn't sure if you were just trying to reassure him or yourself. He remembered the way you'd fallen asleep long before he did. The way you'd fit against his body; how it felt like two puzzle pieces joining together for the first time. He blinked away the thoughts and tried to focus back down on your eyes.

"We'll pay them off," Yoongi said. "We'll make sure nothing comes of this."

---

Jihee (9:00 am): Are you all right?

Jihee (9:05 am): I heard you're in the hospital

Jihee (10:01 am): None of your members are texting me back

Jihee (12:31 pm): Baby, the news is reporting something about your soulmate? What happened last night?

Jihee (2:43 pm): Yoongi! Please respond to me! I'm worried

Jihee (5:12 pm): Yoongi...what I did last night...what happened was all a mistake...

Jihee (5:12 pm): I still love you

Jihee (6:00 pm): The news said you were released hours ago! Respond to me!

Jihee (8:20 pm): Yoongi, I miss you

Jihee (9:30 pm): I know I don't deserve you. But, please just tell me you're okay

Jihee (11:50 pm): Goodnight. Love you.

---

"Baby," you moaned. Your hands slipping beneath Yoongi's shirt. They were cold, but he still loved the way they moved over his stomach and chest. Your fingertips grazing over his skin, a fingernail occasionally catching and causing him to squirm.

His hands were in your hair, messing it up and causing it to form mountain ranges as his fingers hiked the peaks and valleys. He loved the way it felt between his fingers, soft and light.

Your lips moved from his and down to his neck where your lipstick stained his skin. He kept his grip on your hair, feeling it tug slightly as you move downward. He helped you slip his shirt off as your lips connected with his chest.

"You don't have--"

You silenced him by tugging on the waistband of his jeans and rubbing your thumb over the button, teasing him slightly.

"I want to," you responded, unbuttoning his jeans.

Yoongi tightened his grip on your hair, trying not to focus on the way your lipstick was smeared above your lips. He could already imagine the way they'd look...

His head lulled back and his fingers loosened.

---

Yoongi awoke. He was covered in sweat and ran his hand through his hair. He glanced down at his phone: 6:41 am. He sighed and headed to the bathroom.

He slapped himself softly, trying to stop the thoughts that continued to cross his mind. He didn't have feelings for you, it was simply lingering from he slept with you. Nothing else.

He wasn't going to deny he was attracted to you, he wouldn't have gone back to your apartment otherwise, but he felt nothing romantically for you. Yoongi knew the attraction would continue and probably only get worse, but he had to fight it. The last thing he wanted to do was break either of hearts more than they already were.

Yoongi turned on the shower, the water colder than usual.

---

You stood in Yoongi's studio where he kept his computer. You'd suppressed your laughter at the ridiculous amount of hoops you'd had to jump through in order to enter. A doorbell, black curtain, and two doors. You respected the fact he took his work seriously though. The wall full of awards and trophies he'd won, a few even separate from BTS.

There was a couch in the corner, but you were too anxious to sit. You just wanted your shoes back and whoever took them to get their money and leave you alone. You were thankful your name hadn't been released and the only other person who knew the full truth was Eunji.

"There's many of us trying," Yoongi said. "Me, Namjoon, our managers, other people at the company. One of us will get them."

You nodded and watched as the countdown on the auction neared two minutes to the end. There weren't many bids, but the shoes were somehow already over 300,000 won ($276 USD). You'd brought your knitting needles and some yarn and mindlessly knitted.

"What are you making?" Yoongi asked, a small smile breaking out across his lips. It was tiny and barely recognizable. You weren't sure if he pitied you or if simply trying to break the tension.

"Nothing in particular," you said. "I just need something to keep me busy."

Normally, when you went in without a plan, it turned out as a scarf. You bit you lip as the timer hit a minute.

Yoongi saw your gaze shift to his screen and he readied to enter his bid as close to the end as he could. He entered one million won ($920.00 USD) and hovered his finger over the enter button.

"That's too much!" you said.

"No one will outbid it."

"I know," you said. "But I feel bad. I shouldn't have forgotten them in the first place."

The timer hit twenty seconds. Ten seconds. Yoongi waited just a few more seconds wanting to time it just right.

You heard a scream and a crash and almost simultaneously an error message appeared on Yoongi's computer. Please connect to Wi-Fi.

"Shit," Yoongi said. "Jimin!"

You followed Yoongi to the living room, leaving the partially started scarf behind. You saw Jimin and Jungkook crowded around the router working to connect the cord back into it.

"Did you trip over it again?" Yoongi asked, his voice breathy and exasperated.

"Sorry," he said. "I'm not used to it."

Yoongi sighed and turned back to you. His dark eyes looked down at you apologetically and he sat down on the couch, pulling out his phone.

"I'll try and see if I can see who won."

---

"It looks like they're going to have to come out and fix it," Namjoon said, hanging up the phone. "We won't have internet until then."

The members groaned.

Jungkook walked into the kitchen and brought back a case of beer, a smirk plastered on his face.

"Let's play a game," he said. "To welcome Sumi to the dorm."

"What game?" Namjoon asked.

"Answer or drink," he said. "On your turn, someone asks you a question and if you don't want to answer it, you have to drink."

Everyone agreed and sat in a circle. Yoongi sat on one side of you and Hoseok on the other side. Your knee brushed Yoongi's and you felt a small pang in your chest as you pulled away.

"All right, we'll go in order of age. Jin, you're up first."

You didn't really pay attention to the questions. You'd fall somewhere towards the end. Between Jungkook and Taehyung.

Jin answered the question. He didn't seem like the type to be embarrassed easily, a quality you admired in the eldest.

---

"Yoongi," Jungkook said. "Your turn."

The room stayed silent. No one had a question for the boy and he couldn't help but smirk slightly. However, Taehyung meekly raised his hand.

"What happened with Jihee?"

Yoongi cussed to himself. He knew she had been texting the other members about him. The other members would always consult him first before telling her anything when it was obvious he wasn't talking to her.

"She cheated," Yoongi answered simply.

The other boys' eyes widened and they nodded. However, it wasn't their gazes Yoongi felt boring into him. It was yours. He could feel your eyes staring at his profile.

Yoongi had been careful the night he met you. He managed not even to tell you his name. He'd only mentioned he'd recently gotten out of a relationship. He figured you didn't need to hear his sob story. Besides, he planned on keeping Jihee's betrayal a secret. Just as she wanted. The only people he could trust with the truth were his members.

But, you deserved to know the truth. It was unfair to keep you completely at a distance, especially when he'd overheard everything about your ex.

Yoongi noticed you drinking, you'd already cracked open another can by the time it got Namjoon. He felt a twinge in his chest. Yoongi quickly suppressed it, your drinking habits were none of his business. And based on the way Eunji talked the night at the bar, it didn't sound like you drank much. Only when your heart was broken.

"Sumi," Jungkook said. "Your turn."

Again, the room fell silent. No one knew Sumi well enough to ask her such a personal question. But, then again, everyone was tipsy, or in a few cases, already drunk.

"How's Yoongi in bed?"

Everyone except for Yoongi and you laughed.

"Seriously?" Yoongi asked.

He knew it was the alcohol that asked the question, but it was still inappropriate. He didn't want you to have to drink. Your eyes were glazed and your cheeks rosy.

Yoongi reached over and drank for you, crumpling the can when he finished.

"Move on," he said. "It should be your turn, right, Jungkook?"

"Wait," you said. "I didn't answer."

Everyone turned to look at you. It was obvious you were too drunk to notice that Yoongi had technically already drank for you.

"He's good," you answered. "Better than my ex and I hate that cause..."

You drifted off not noticing the seven stunned faces staring at you.Your words slurred, but they hung in the room. Your eyelids drooped and your head lulled forward into your chest.

"I think it's time for bed," Namjoon said, standing up and helping you stand. He threw an arm around you and led you down the hall towards your bedroom.

Despite the fact that the situation was perfectly appropriate, Yoongi still felt a small pang of jealousy. He knew he shouldn't and that it was all the soulmates thing, but that didn't stop his fists from clenching.

"She probably won't remember this in the morning," Yoongi said. "Don't remind her."

Yoongi swallowed the rest of his drink and left the room on the pretenses of being sleepy--which he was--but he also didn't want anyone to see the blush come to his cheeks.

---

You awoke the next morning with the worst headache you'd ever had. You clutched your forehead and glanced at the time: 10:30 am. You sighed.

You spotted your knitting things from yesterday placed on top of the dresser. You didn't remember fetching them from Yoongi's studio, but then again, you barely remembered anything after Jimin knocked the Wi-fi out.

"All I drank was beer," you muttered to yourself.

You weren't known for being a lightweight causing you to wonder just how much you'd drank the night before.

As you squirmed you felt something soft move in the crook of your arm. You looked down and saw Kitty. You smiled at the stuffed cat and her droopy eye.

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joonsdiary · 4 years

Text

jamais vu (m)

↳ noun | the illusion that the familiar is being encountered for the first time.

(are you the remedy to my broken heart?)

pairing: jungkook | reader | taehyung genre: slice of life au, acquaintances to friends (to lovers?) au // heaps of angst, a tiny bit of smut, a sprinkle of fluff word count: 13,4k

— warnings: alcohol consumption, swearing, hints of gaslighting, mild descriptions of a panic attack, themes of infidelity, sexual intercourse (protected penetrative sex, implied female masturbation)

— note: mildly inspired by the films lost in translation and ocean waves, as well as jamais vu by bts (hence the title). some concepts were derived from my wip list, so in a way this was my remedy for the writer’s block i was having while writing ‘worth fighting for’. i hope in one way or another it can be your remedy, too. (p.s. despite being inspired by lost in translation, i haven’t actually seen the film so this won’t be exactly like that adkjhsd)

— playlist: carry me home - jorja smith ft. maverick sabre / sweet insomnia - gallant ft. 6lack / drew barrymore - sza / run - joji / truth is - sabrina claudio / bath - offonoff / ghostin - ariana grande / ... etc!

There’s something thrilling about sitting in the backseat of a car past midnight, windows rolled down as the driver chases the destination planted on her navigation device. You welcome the cool breeze that tangles your hair into an uncomfortable mess, as it only helps propel your heart rate faster. Inhaling slowly allows you to savour the musky scent of the earth shortly after being bathed with rainwater; if this is what freedom tastes like, you wish to savour as much of it as you could.

Eventually, the exhilaration wears down as the city lights blur into a cacophony of colours. It’s incoherent and indiscernible, yet it possesses the ability to lull you into a dream-like state. You had the utmost privilege of plugging your phone into the aux cord, therefore the familiar voice of your recently played songstress croons softly against the speaker, filling the cold, void spaces in between. Your heavy eyelids fall into an accustomed pattern, gradually flickering until it closes shut.

Sleep beckons; fatigue welcomes you into the abyss, and you embrace it with open arms.

Well, almost.

“Can you roll the windows up? It’s freezing,” he mumbles as he sinks further down the leather chair. You jolt awake at his sudden announcement, but he doesn’t apologize for disturbing your calmness.

“Hm? Yeah, of course,” your fingers scramble to find the right button to press until the tempered glass lifts, shielding you away from the busy city. You want to argue that it’s not even that cold, but he scoots closer towards you, tugging on your left arm before burying his head in the crook of your neck.

A wistful sigh escapes your lips and you turn to place a quick kiss on his crown. You immediately understand the exhaustion that plagues you both, brought about by the time difference between the country you came from and the one you’re currently visiting. You glance out the window once more as your thumb plays with the golden band on your ring finger.

Seoul is beautiful. The city itself is alive, evident by the way the summer stars in the night sky are dimmed by the light that emits from the numerous buildings and towers that create Seoul’s skyline. Looking at it from above while on a plane is similar to peeking at a telescope to view a galaxy far away, dotted by billions of brilliant stars. But despite the breathtaking aerial view, nothing feels more intimate than weaving through its streets.

Although you can tell its old roads are recently refurbished, unsurprisingly, which buries any inkling of familiarity beneath the cold cement. Despite you knowing the place, there’s still something different about it, like buying a new laptop to replace the old one. The specs are guaranteed to be exactly like its predecessor, but the fact that it comes in a sleek box, still unspoiled and untouched, fascinates you all the same. It begs to be used until you’re so attached to it that you refuse to part ways even just for a singular moment. That’s what defines Seoul for you.

But the city can wait. There will be plenty of opportunities to explore and rekindle your love affair with the town you once called your home. For now, your reason for being lays cradled within your arms, encapsulated within the bubble you desperately wish would stay intact, unmarred by the destructive forces of reality.

Although those illusions of fantasy can only take you so far. The fragility of your relationship is beginning to materialize into a spectre, its gaunt face haunting you in every corner you look. There’s no escaping the truth as it will, without a fail, catch you in one form or the other.

“What are you thinking about?” he hums lazily, soft breath tickling the nape of your neck.

“Just excited to finally be back after so long.”

“That’s right, you moved away long before I did.”

“Mhm.”

The discussion flickers out of existence, whose life is shorter than that of a fire in measly matchstick. You aren’t much of a conversationalist, and you appreciate that neither is he. Is that the defining trait that convinced you to marry the man sitting next to you three years ago? Perhaps. You like that he gives you the time and space to bask in your thoughts when you need it, even if there are moments where you’d like nothing more than to connect with him like you used to.

“I miss you,” slips out before you’re able to hold your tongue back. But you don’t scramble to reclaim the words like you usually do, followed by an apologetic I didn’t mean it like that. You let the phrase simmer, hoping it will soak him to the bones enough that it becomes his wake up call.

But, “I’m right here,” is all he says.

The him-of-past would have cradled your face in his big hands, turned you so that you’re face to face before he makes a silly face that will make you laugh. He’ll say you’re being silly for even thinking of such thoughts when he’s always been by your side, and forever will be. It will follow one chaste kiss, then a second, and before you could blink his limbs will tangle with yours, hearts beating fast but in unison, nonetheless.

“I know,” you murmur.

Perhaps he believes it’s enough that he’s there beside you, physically. Perhaps it’s wise to presume the same. It’s only wishful thinking to expect otherwise, after all.

Jungkook believes he’s a creature of habit. Or, he used to be, at least.

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with falling into a certain pattern in life, especially at his age; God knows he needs a stable rock to hold on to so he doesn’t get carried away by the raging currents of the river.

But it had only been once upon a time where he enjoyed such endeavours; waking up, coming down to work, going back up to bathe, before finally retiring to bed. Yes, he’ll find pockets of time to eat meals, of course. Days come when he has the freedom to choose to go to the gym, instead, so his life isn’t completely mundane. There’s a nuance to such life, and he always aspires to have the propensity and the undeterred tenacity to stick to such a strict regimen.

However, days began to bleed into each other with the same shade of grey, indiscernible and incomprehensible. It’s not necessarily a lousy experience because he never felt starved or threatened out of his home. Life for him is like cruising down the endless highway, foot off the gas but going at one hundred kilometres per hour all the same. The figures he passes by become obscured by the speed he’s going at, but at the very least he’s still heading somewhere.

It’s only recently he’s fully realized the futility of his mundane schedule. She’d told him so.

“Don’t you want to break away from all of that? From your parents’ expectations of you?” her voice comes softly through the phone. His moments together with her are often brief and hurried, their conversations cut short by external forces acting upon them both. It’s dinnertime for him, but she has to drop the call in order to catch the early bus for work. Such a prick, time and distance can be.

(Perhaps, he now looks back and thinks to himself, they’re merely trying to find more reason to converse less with each other. Since when did it start, the feeling of obligation?)

“Are you suggesting that I—”

She says yes without letting him finish his sentence.

So he finds vigour in his life once more as he throws himself into his work, constantly propelled forwards by the need to meet an end goal: Save up enough to be able to move halfway across the world. To see her. To be with her.

But the respite is brief, however.

The more money is stored in his bank account, the less he thinks of the idea as brilliant. Is he ready to uproot his life from the only home he knows to move in with somebody he has only met through the screen of his phone?

Looking at the bigger picture, nothing else has changed in his life. He needs a true break; a real step back from a routine that is numerous years in the making.

Having sex with a stranger in a random motel seems like a good way to go about it, he thinks.

Several hours prior, his friends asked him to go out drinking with them. Jungkook, who rarely makes time for such occurrences, naturally agrees, surprising the very same acquaintances that invited him. At that point he believes they’re only asking to be polite, not having the courage to kick him out of an old group chat formed during their college days. They never expected him to say yes then, and they didn’t until now.

Countless bottles of beer and a few shots of liquor later, he’s fumbling with the zipper of his tight jeans. The woman, whose name he didn’t have the courtesy of asking, giggles as she rises from the bed to approach him.

Mistake number one.

“Do you need help, love?”

He fumbles through his words, unable to form a coherent thought. It’s not that he’s completely inexperienced — although the woman probably thinks he is by the way he acts — it’s just that, admittedly, it’s been a good while since he’d had sex with anybody. Add the nervousness to his inebriated state, and he’s got himself in quite the dilemma.

Mistake number two.

“I’m guessing you like them tight,” the woman points out.

“Huh?” his head whips towards the woman, eyes wide and mouth agape, like a deer caught in headlights.

“Your jeans, I mean.”

The woman chuckles once again as he attempts to peel the fabric off his skin. “Wasn’t really planning on this, that’s why.”

Mistake number three.

“But you have this,” an inconspicuous packet is pulled from his back pocket. Jungkook merely grins sheepishly in response. The woman kneels as she grips his underwear but he grabs her hand and pulls her up instead, crashing her body into his. He recalls her murmuring something about getting straight to the point, but he’s unsure if the woman meant it as a complaint or a compliment. He didn’t bother asking to elaborate, because none of this is even supposed to happen.

Mistake number four.

Guilt bubbles from within his chest, gnawing at every nook and cranny of his consciousness.

Mistake number five.

He’d have to tell her sooner rather than later. It would be fucking shitty of him not to. But before he has the time to steer clear of trouble and save himself from potentially ruining the only good thing he has going in his life, the woman’s lips are on him. There’s no going back now, he assumes.

Mistake number six, seven, eight.

Nine: His kiss feels famished as he drinks in each quiet moan that comes out of the woman’s lips. Every second feels reinvigorating like he’s sitting in front of the roller coaster as the ride pauses before the first drop. When the wheels turn and roll against the metal railroad track, he stumbles back and falls into the bed. He’s here for the thrill, which would bring the total up to ten so far.

Eleven is when he watches the woman slip the condom with ease, sheathing him. His presumed experience she possesses excites him further; that is number twelve.

He loses count when she traps him between her knees as she licks two of her fingers at once, before hiking up her skirt.

Jungkook wants to laugh at his lack of perceptiveness. Tactless when it comes to asking for the woman’s name; even more inadequate and impolite not to think about prepping her.

“What’s so funny?” she asks, head tilting to the side as wisps of her hair fall across her face as she grinds herself against him. He bites back a moan as he looks away from her. It probably would be best not to tell her. He then catches his reflection in the mirror, and despite the dimmed lights he could outline the expression he’s making; a reflection of someone unrecognizable.

“There’s a mirror,” he pauses as she gets a hold of him, her warmth enveloping him as she slowly sinks onto him. His hips jerk seemingly involuntarily in response, and she groans, tossing her head backwards. He forgets to speak altogether. The woman does the same, opting to mumble profanity, instead.

Jungkook wishes to hide the shame and guilt, the wrongfulness, the missed opportunities to say no. Is his need to feel something other than the heaviness of his heart worth all the pain he’s about to put not only himself but the person he wishes to spend the rest of his life with?

And so he buries himself deeper before denial could even stake a claim in the vast expanse of his thoughts. If to forget is to lose himself in the pleasure of someone else’s company, then he’ll desperately seek the ecstasy he’s craved for so long until he’ll see stars beneath the darkness of his eyelids.

His breathing is no longer erratic when he comes into consciousness.

“That was good,” she breathes out softly, and he turns in time to watch her brown eyes disappear from view.

“I have to go.”

He gets up from the bed and begins to move on autopilot, picking up his discarded clothes one by one. The woman immediately sits up and asks with an evident frown on her face, “Already? Didn’t you have fun?”

The corners of his lips are pulled upwards into a grin. “It’s for work.”

“At this hour? It’s almost one.”

“Midnight shift.”

When he’s dressed, he hesitates at the foot of the bed, shifting weight from one leg to the other. He’s never been the best with words, and his unexpectedly expected tryst with a stranger leaves him at a loss for what to say. It doesn’t help that the woman refuses to meet gaze with him.

I wouldn’t want to look at me either, he thinks bitterly to himself.

“Thank you for your time. I hope to see you around,” his half-truth is enough to pluck a rueful smile from her lips.

The bus ride back home is the longest one Jungkook thinks he’s taken ever since he moved to Seoul.

You watch as Taehyung lazily drags his feet behind him each step he takes towards the bed and breakfast place you decided to rent. The cicadas chatter loudly as if to cheer him on. A few more steps, they urge.

“Come on, Taehyung,” you groan from above the stairs, already reaching the top long before he does. “I’m about to pass out, too. But can we do it once we get to the bed?”

“I’m literally, like, dead,” you can’t help the roll of your eyes at his dramatic statement. But you hold your tongue back at any other snide comments that might offend him further. Patience is the key with him, always. Complaining to him, as you did earlier, will only force him to act against your wishes.

He reaches the top with a huff and a hand on his bent knees, handing you the duffel bag that’s filled to the brim with your clothes and his.

“That wasn’t so bad, right?” is your attempt at making the situation lighthearted and less serious than it needs to be.

“Still should have booked a hotel, instead,” his nose scrunches in obvious dismay.

“For the last time, I thought—”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” gone is the Taehyung of previous, whose tiredness begins with softness around his personality. It’s not unusual for him to get cranky after being jet-lagged. But hey, guess what, so are you!

You ignore him for fear of escalation as you make your way inside. A quiet chime of the bell signals your arrival, and your gaze meets a familiar set of doe eyes; someone you knew once upon a time in a place you can pinpoint exactly. His expression mirrors that of your surprised one as he tries to figure you out. It wouldn’t surprise you if he doesn’t recognize you as you did him.

It’s Taehyung who breaks your state of bewitchment when his shoulder bumps into your arms as he jogs towards the receiving desk.

“Hey, stranger! How long has it been?” Taehyung exclaims a little too loudly, his state of disarray seemingly vanishing in a flash. With the roll of your luggage as a guide, you follow after him, standing nimbly behind the shadow of his confidence.

“Since we graduated high school? Probably ten years,” he says humorously.

“That long, huh? Damn.”

They fall into a small talk which is somewhat out of sync, which is understandable considering the amount of time they haven't been in contact with each other. No matter how close they had been during their teenage years, some words are hard to come by more than others.

He suddenly calls your name out in a greeting, and you peak over Taehyung’s shoulder with a small wave of your hand. “Hey, Jungkook.”

His smile is gentle, and your mood shifts entirely.

“Are you back here on a trip?”

It’s clear the question was directed to you, but Taehyung absolves you the courtesy of answering. “Actually, it’s a work-related thing. She wanted to tag along.”

“That’s one way of putting it,” you say with a strained chuckle, and Jungkook glances between you and Taehyung.

“Ah, I see. In any case, I’ll get out of your hair,” he slides a pair of keys in your direction. “It’s well past midnight, so I’m sure you guys are tired from your flight.”

Taehyung snatches it up, and it falls into the pocket of his slacks with a soft jingle. He thanks him with enthusiasm before turning towards the direction of the elevator.

“Hope I see you around. Have good night.”

Something about your greeting has Jungkook’s eyebrows creasing in discomfort for a split second before he gives you a small nod. “I’ll be here if you need anything else.”

But he isn’t there to greet patrons by the next morning when you go down for your complimentary breakfast. Taehyung did not join you, opting for an extended hour of sleep. You didn’t mind, but you couldn’t lay aimless in bed for too long; you’ve always been a morning person, after all.

So you sit by your lonesome in the vast dining area, surrounded by an old couple in one corner and a young family of four in the other. The two children fight for the last remaining pancake while the parents share a hushed discussion. You glance down at your warm abalone porridge.

There was a time when you imagined such a life with Taehyung—a family you can call your own. Of course, it’s by no means too late for you; at the tender age of twenty-eight, you know that life still has a lot to offer. But approaching three years into your marriage, Taehyung does not present any hints of wanting such a future with you. Sure, the topic has been brought about occasionally, but never serious enough to be considered anything but a passing daydream.

“I hate to break it to you, but that soup isn’t going to give you the answers to your most pressing question, even if you stare at it like that.”

You look up to see Jungkook wearing an amused expression, carrying a plastic bag on his right hand. He follows your trail of gaze and lifts the item into view.

“I might have raided the kitchen before my shift is over. Don’t tell a single soul,” his gaze holds differently, but the smile he wears is the same one from his youth.

“Cross my heart,” you humour him, and his grin grows wider. “Have a safe trip home.”

His nose wrinkles in contemplation. “If you mean be careful going up the stairs to my room, then sure, I will.”

Your brows lift in confusion, “You rent here?”

“You could say that. I own this place,” the chair scrapes against the tiled floors as he welcomes himself into your bubble. “Well, sort of. My parents own this, but my older brother and I manage it.”

“You should have said so earlier!” you chuckle, placing your chin on your palm as you turn to face him. “I would have asked for a discount.”

“Ouch, this is exactly why I didn’t do that in the first place. It’s opportunists like you that I’m terrified of.”

“Okay, Richie Rich, I knew you were always a selfish prick even then.”

“Hah!” he exclaims, leaning closer. “I’m well aware of my reputation back then, and none of them was ‘selfish’. In fact, there was always a lot of me to go around.”

“I highly doubt that, somehow.”

“You wouldn’t know,” he says in a casual tone while crossing his arms in front of his chest. He gives you a knowing look. “You were always with Taehyung.”

“I was, wasn’t I?” you mumble against your palm, your voice growing quiet. Your ring suddenly feels heavy on your finger.

“Mhm, that’s why I wasn’t surprised when I heard you two got married a few years back. In another country, no less. Congratulations, by the way,” his tone softens, mirroring your sudden predisposition for a hushed conversation.

“Thank you,” you give him a genuine smile. “Married life is…”

“Different?” he offers, and you nod wordlessly. You would’ve chosen a different word for it, but you’re glad he finished the sentence for you. “All my other friends who’re in the same situation say so.”

“And you?”

He wears the same troubled expression from hours ago, but only for a brief moment. He mimics your posture as his face lights up with the biggest smile you’ve seen him wear. You know that expression; there was a point in time where you’d wear the same elated look when someone asks you about Taehyung.

“Long-distance. But we’ve been together for a couple of years,” he hesitates briefly, before continuing. “I’m leaving in less than two weeks to move in with her.”

“Where to?”

He reveals the name in a hushed tone, almost as if it’s meant to stay a secret between the two of you.

Your eyes widen with bewilderment, and he grins sheepishly. “Wow, that’s—”

“Halfway across the world? I know.”

It’s only when there’s a pause that you realize what your intended purpose is. So you dig a spoonful of the soup and chase the heat away with a quick blow before taking a quick bite.

“You’re really here just to tag along with Taehyung?”

You look at him in surprise, not expecting the subject to be brought out once again. “Not really. We um…”

You hesitate, unsure whether to share your thoughts or not. But Jungkook is neither a friend nor a stranger and is possibly the perfect candidate. There’s nothing that binds you to him and in a few weeks, you’d be back to being strangers. Perhaps he wouldn’t even remember your story.

“We didn’t really have an official honeymoon after our marriage, and this was supposed to be it,” you chuckle, trying to play the situation off nonchalantly. “He sort of double-booked because he couldn’t turn down this gig.”

“That seems shitty, to be honest.”

You’re taken aback by the ruggedness of his tone, and you immediately jump to defend Taehyung. “It’s fine, honestly. It’s been a while since I’ve been back home.”

“Yeah, you missed out on our high school reunion just by a month,” his aura is lighthearted once more, and you’re glad for it.

“You went?”

“Nah, there was nothing good to reminisce about high school.”

You turn to him with your mouth agape. “This is coming from the captain of the football team, Jeon Jungkook?”

“Ah, come on, stop with the teasing,” he says as he rolls his shoulder back, before clearing his throat. “It just so happened that I was good at kicking. And running. And scoring goals.”

Undeterred by his boasting, you give him a sly smirk. “I’m sure you revelled in the attention. There was enough of you to get around, you said?”

“Now you get it.”

You giggle and he laughs along with you. The interaction gives you a certain heaviness within your chest but at the same time, you feel lightheaded, almost as if you’re about to soar towards the heavens.

“I should go catch some sleep,” he says once your euphoria dies down. “I’ve had a long evening.”

“I’ll let you get to it, then,” you say almost wistfully. He mumbles a quiet later! and you allow your gaze to follow his movement.

“Don’t get lost on your way.”

He looks back and motions a mock salute. “I’ll come knocking on your door if I need help with directions.”

However, three days go by without seeing Jungkook; not in his usual spot at the entrance of the building, and nowhere near the kitchen or the lounge area. Although you weren’t looking for him by any means because Taehyung constantly kept you busy, dragging you from place to place to take cityscape photos for his client. Despite the constant travelling, it’s hard to enjoy the scenery when the affair appears to be completely one-sided.

There’s no mistaking the fact you’re extremely proud and gratified that Taehyung pours his heart and soul into each project he throws himself at. But would it hurt that much for him to point his lenses towards your direction even just once? Surely, your whole trip will not consist of you constantly waiting on him.

He must’ve noticed your affliction because suddenly the weight of his stare begins to feel heavier each quiet second that passes.

“Bored yet?” he asks, left hand on the wheel and the other placed on the knob to change the car’s gear. Your eyes flit back to him and his right palm opens for you to take. With your fingers interlocked, he places a soft kiss on your knuckles.

It’s difficult to harbour resentment towards him when he makes the butterflies in your stomach flutter with merely the tiniest of gestures.

“With you? Never.”

He chuckles, and you feel the rumbling of his chest as he presses the back of your hand against his chest. The steady rhythm of his heartbeat doesn’t match your erratic, nervous one.

“Hm, you should have said yes. I was going to save you of having to come with me later,” his tone is playful, and a small smile adorns his flushed lips.

“What’s happening later?” you shift in the passenger seat to face him.

“The dinner with Min, my client. I told you, remember?”

You carefully sift through your mind regarding your recent conversations with him. You recall them being short and clipped, sure, but none told you of a certain meeting with somebody else. So, you tell him in earnest, “No.”

“I’m sure you’re just forgetting,” his grip on you loosens, and you reclaim your hand before it falls on his lap.

No, you’re one-hundred-percent certain you would remember something as important as that. Yet you don’t tell him so and instead, you yield with a wordless nod.

“You mean to tell me you’re going to miss out on having takeout dinner with me?” you ask, attempting to humour him, but your tone mistakenly comes out tasting bitter on your tongue. The silence that ensues sears into your brain like the afternoon Seoul sun, prickly and scorching hot to the touch.

“You can come with, if that’s what you want. I’ll tell you in advance that it’s going to be boring, though, since we’re going to talk about work.”

Somewhere along the line, you presume Taehyung has developed the proclivity towards telling pretence with a straight face. It catches you off guard when you join him for the much-anticipated dinner that he apparently told you about. It’s not the fact that “Min” turns out to be a woman — you have no qualms about that. Taehyung is somebody who could make acquaintances with somebody while waiting in line for their prescription in a pharmacy. Rather, it’s the way he prepped you for the oncoming conversation or your lack of inclusion in any of them, for that matter.

Introductions aside, you found her to be amicable and friendly. But afterwards, you fell behind two steps as they divulged into a topic other than work. Despite the premise that the chat would be boring, Taehyung is deeply engrossed in whichever story she decided to share. You didn’t have quite the energy to match theirs, so instead of playing catch up, you decided to stop walking altogether. You watch as their figures grow smaller on the horizon, not even bothering to look back and ask if you’d like to join them.

She laughs at something Taehyung says and automatically reaches to grab his arm as she giggles along with him. When she makes eye contact with you, instinct tells you to force a smile. And you did, uncaring if she perceives your gesture to be nothing but utter bullshit.

You busy yourself with studying the restaurant instead as you pensively wait for food to be served. The dim lights of the room create a warm ambience — romantic, almost.

The gears in your brain stop turning as they click into place. Your pulse gums with vigour as you feel the sweat seeping through the pores of your palms. Suddenly, the vast expanse of the dining hall feels suffocating; there’s no room for you. To breathe, to feel, to be.

“I’ve got to go.”

You suddenly feel lightheaded as you begin seeing multiples of dark spots, clouding your vision. The floor caving beneath you, and you struggle to keep afloat.

“What?” Taehyung looks at you with wide eyes but makes no move to hold you back from gathering your things.

“I forgot I was supposed to meet a friend today,” you say with self-assurance, miming the same expression he wore when he lied: I told you, remember?

Taehyung stands when you move away from the table and hope blooms dangerously in your chest; your wish for him to hold you back and stop you from leaving begins to permeate.

(Though in hindsight, you should have known better.)

“I’ll call a cab for you.”

Static fills the void, and for the first time in his life, Jungkook fears the silence rather than basking in it. He’s unsure when his words began to fail him; is it because he’s nervous he’ll slip up and say the wrong thing? Truly, at this point, being seen as the bad guy should be the least of his concerns.

Because as far as any human with a functioning brain thinks, he’s already fucked up in more ways than one. There’s no returning from the level of hell he’s put himself in.

“Are you still there?”

Her voice is patient, but he can tell she’s apprehensive.

“Uh, yes—just, thinking.”

There’s a brief pause before an accusatory, “Look, if you’re having second thoughts then maybe it’s too early.”

He immediately leaps from the couch of the empty lounge area. It’s a little past eleven at night, so everyone is either already in their rooms or out enjoying the city, which gives Jungkook a leg room for privacy.

“What? No, that’s not it!”

Two years isn’t too damn early. He feels like he’s been waiting a lifetime; tired of the time difference, tired of the distance, tired of being deprived of touch. Tired of the same old city, with the same predictable people. Everything around him is starting to feel foreign; the steps that lead to the bed and breakfast lodging, the corner street that sells the best tteokbokki he’s ever tasted in his life, the crosswalk that has malfunctioning lights which should be a public safety hazard but at this point he thinks will never be fixed. It’s all mundane, cycling through the same wheel of routine.

He no longer wants to feel apathetic when he faces his future while he houses resentment on his present self milling around aimlessly. She’s his only ticket to escape, so he better stop fucking around and tell her the truth.

But where to begin?

“Listen, I—”

“Whatever it is, can you please just say it? I’m leaving for work soon.”

He takes two steps back, for fear of retribution. Is he ready to ruin the entirety of her day?

“Never mind. I’ll talk to you later. Have a great day at work.”

She heaves a sigh, and preemptively ends the call.

“I suppose I deserve that,” he mumbles as he stares at his phone with her name printed in big letters across the screen. He contemplates pressing the call button and finally telling her everything—her work be damned. He knows that he owes her the truth at the very least.

But you come barrelling down the door, barefoot as you clutch your heels safely between your armpit. You’re dressed formally, yet casual enough for a nice dinner outside plenty of Seoul’s restaurants. But the slight stutter in your step and your somewhat dishevelled hair tells Jungkook all he needs to know. He doesn’t have to hazard a guess.

“Jungkook!” you raise your arms as you exclaim, and the wooden floor welcomes your shoes with a loud thud. “It’s been so long. What are you doing here?”

He laughs, not because of your deeply inebriated state, but because of your inquiry. What the hell am I doing here? He’s been asking himself that very same question without an answer in sight for a while now.

Though he doesn’t have time to answer because you almost knock him over when you skid over to wrap your arms around his neck. His senses are overwhelmed with the pungent smell of liquor, mixed with a subtle hint of rose water.

“I miss you.”

Jungkook is perplexed by your brutal honesty, to say the least. Though he knows to excuse any action while somebody is foolishly drunk, so long as they are not harming anybody or themselves. You grow quiet, and Jungkook is about to ask where you’ve been when he feels dampness on the front of his button-up shirt. He looks down and sees you visibly shaking, before grabbing at his sleeves seemingly for physical support.

It’s when you ask, with conviction, “Why did you hold me back?” that he realizes you aren’t referring to him. So, he wordlessly wraps his arms around you as he pats your back reassuringly. He doesn’t mind that you began sobbing louder, not even when a guest comes through the door and gives him a perplexed expression. He simply nods in their direction as a form of acknowledgement before giving a tight-lipped smile.

When minutes pass and Taehyung doesn’t arrive, he puts two and two together and concludes that he had to be the reason. His heart squeezes painfully as you attempt to swallow a sob which ends up sounding more agonizing and hollowed, carrying with them the weight of all the sorrow you’ve seemingly piled up.

When your cries are reduced to soft hiccups, you pull away from him with a quiet apology. Jungkook shakes his head as he places his palms delicately against your face before wiping the remnants of your sorrow away from your cheeks.

“Better?”

“No,” you sniffle. “I feel like shit.”

“What do you want to do?”

“I wanna go out again. Will you come with me?” you look up at him, bleary eyes pleading. Jungkook dips his chin as he guides you to sit on the leather couch, which you thankfully follow.

“At this rate, you’re going to pass out before we step foot outside the building.” With a sigh, he crouches down to reach eye level with you. “Do you need to puke?”

“I already did that after getting off the cab earlier, I think.”

“Okay then, wait here.”

You nod wordlessly and he goes to pick up your discarded shoes before placing it near your naked feet. He unlocks his phone as he makes his way to the dining hall, dialling a familiar number.

“Jaehyun?” he asks after the third ring. “Can you come earlier for your shift? Something came up.”

When he’s sure someone is going to take over for him, he makes his round in the empty kitchen, grabbing whatever he thinks might be immediately necessary: clean towels, an empty bucket in case of an emergency, and a glass of water.

You’re placid when he returns, eyes puffed out and red as you stare at nothing in particular. He hands you the water and you immediately finish it before he can blink.

You mumble a quick apology as he exchanges the empty glass for the clean towel.

“Don’t worry about it. This will all be billed towards room service.”

You chuckle and throw him back the towel which lands squarely on his face.

“Not funny.”

“I’m dead serious. Look at this damage on my shirt!” he points at the makeup smear accusingly, causing an escalation in your laughter. But the tears return, and you wordlessly wipe them with your palms.

“Come,” he offers his hand for you to take. “You have to eat.”

You stare wordlessly at it for a while, before taking it and pulling yourself to stand. You’re wobbly on your feet, and Jungkook tightens his grip on your hand in an attempt to steady you.

“I can’t go out like this,” you mumble. Jungkook nods in agreement as he wears a playful grin. You nudge his side, brows furrowed and lips forming into a pout. “I know I look like a mess. No need to rub it in.”

“I never said anything,” he chuckles. “Weren’t you the one asking to go out again?”

“I still do. But don’t worry,” you pat the back of his hand reassuringly. “You don’t have to come with.”

“I haven’t noticed Taehyung pass through yet, if that’s what you’re worried about,” Jungkook watches your expression morph back into a blank stare. Maybe he shouldn’t have said anything, after all. His mind scrambles to quickly divulge the topic. “Where do you want to go? I already called my replacement at the front desk—”

“I know this is a bed and breakfast and not a hotel, but you guys have liquor, right?”

You’ve somehow convinced Jungkook to siphon a bottle of whiskey and a few cans of beer from the lodging’s inventory. Though he can quite happily admit that it didn’t take much to get him on board. But he technically can’t be seen drinking and lounging on the job for morale’s sake, so he sneaks in some food along with the alcohol — and you — back to his room. Although Jaehyun did catch you and Jungkook on the way up.

(He promises a wage increase if Jaehyun doesn’t say anything to Jungkook’s older brother. You didn’t have to but since you offered, I’ll take it, the latter said.)

“Apologies for the mess,” he mutters, holding the door with his foot as he welcomes you. He turns on the lamp instead of the main lights since they’re less obtrusive to the eye.

“Are you kidding?” you stumble in, trying not to drop the cans of beer you’re holding. “This place is practically spotless. You have bodies in your closet, don’t you?”

Jungkook laughs as he makes a beeline for the makeshift table sitting between his pseudo-living-room-slash-bedroom and kitchen—

“Wait, you have a kitchen?”

Jungkook isn’t sure if you’re perplexed or amazed. He shrugs nonchalantly either way.

“Perks of being part-owner, I guess?”

He haphazardly throws a blanket and a pillow near the table for you to sit in, but apparently, you have other plans and proceed to make a home for yourself in his bed. You bury your head in the sheets, mumbling, “It smells good.”

“I change the sheets every month,” he boasts rather proudly; all part of his routine.

“I should definitely check that closet.”

“By all means,” he grins, plopping down in front of the table. He’s yet to have dinner, so his intentions to get food and beer had been partly selfish. Jungkook turns to you, now laying on your side, sullen eyes already studying him. He quickly looks away and grabs a spoon before holding it up.

“Food? You’re probably hungry, right? I know I’m always craving, especially after a good cry. Not that I cry often, but doing so from time to time doesn’t hurt either, I suppose. I hope that doesn’t sound too weird—I know there’s this stigma around men and crying but honestly, it’s all such bullshit. We are born into the world crying, it’s literally the first thing we do as humans. Anyway, do you fancy some beef and white rice? I know it’s not much, but...what are you laughing for?”

Jungkook watches you descend into hysteria, clutching your stomach as your giggles turn silent, but your shoulders are still visibly shaking. You heave for air, turning over so your back is face to him.

“If I knew I was this funny, I would have switched careers,” he mumbles, though loud enough for you to hear, as he stuffs his face with rice.

“It’s not too late,” you reply with a sniffle. “You can still change your mind.”

“That’s true, I suppose. Don’t they have that saying that goes ‘a fickle heart is the only constant in this world’ or something?”

Your head whips back towards him, swollen eyes wide in astonishment. “Did you just quote Howl’s Moving Castle?”

His nose scrunches up in deep thought. “Maybe? I did watch it recently.”

“You’re an odd one, Jeon Jungkook,” you muse quietly, eyes mimicking one of the phases of the moon as you grin.

“Says the person who’s soiling my fresh linen with her tears,” he says playfully. But there’s no reply this time around, and he quickly backtracks. “It’s okay to laugh at that one—it was a joke. A very terrible one, apparently.”

“No. You’re quite spot on, actually.”

Jungkook doesn’t speak for a while, unsure whether he should be overstepping the boundary more than he should have. But he looks at your vulnerable state, splayed across his bed, and thinks all formalities are out the window at this point. Despite the previous state of your relationship with him, or otherwise the lack of it, this would probably constitute friendship. Therefore, as a friend, it’s his moral duty to rid you of your throes and woes, even just a little.

“Where did you go, anyway? Must have been fun if you got all shit-faced like this.”

Keeping the tone airy is probably the best way to go as an introduction.

“Just a pub. I didn’t want to go clubbing by myself, it could have been dangerous.”

Jungkook’s forehead creases with worry, and he holds himself back from the question that he’s burning to ask: Then where the hell is Kim Taehyung? He reserves the right to be outright angry because he knows it’s not his place to. He reaches for the can of beer, which hisses in frustration when he opens it.

“You don’t have friends in the city?” he asks, hoping you will not take offence at his question. You shrug.

“I didn’t really keep in touch with anyone after moving away. It felt weird asking someone out of the blue.”

“You could have called me,” he says without much thought.

“I seriously considered it, but…” you trail off, leaving Jungkook to fill the void himself. He doesn’t mind that he probably didn’t cross your mind as a go-to person to call in times of crisis. “I heard you were quite the party pooper in high school, so I had my doubts.”

“Hey!” he protests, but you ignore him and continue. He doesn’t disagree, of course, but being called out is not a fun experience whether it came from a drunk acquaintance or not.

“New in town, straight-A student—but to be fair, quite good-looking and athletic to boot. My god, all my friends had a stupid on crush on you.”

Jungkook’s cheeks grow warm with embarrassment at the deluge of compliments. “Me? With gangly limbs and an awful bowl-cut? Who couldn’t even get a single word out to anybody, especially girls, without stuttering? That Jungkook?”

“You need to give yourself a little more credit than that, Jeon.” You’re facing him once again, both hands tucked neatly beneath your head.

He nods as an acknowledgement but swiftly changes the subject. “Are you sure you don’t want to eat, though? I’m halfway through this already.”

“I’m sure. I think I’ll probably just nap, then go,” you chuckle. Jungkook can only offer you a rueful smile. He doesn’t mind if you’re unwilling to share the whole spiel of what caused you to be miserable enough to drink by yourself. He’s quite well-versed in that area, after all. It doesn’t solve anything, sure, but it’s enough to numb the feeling of being alone with his thoughts. He doesn’t have to guess who the root of it is, though.

He sighs as he turns on the television, before lowering it down to a manageably quiet level where it will not disturb your sleep. He doesn’t have a particular show in mind to watch, but having the mindless static accompany him is more than enough.

“I lied,” you begin after several minutes of silence. “I can’t sleep.”

“That’s because you’re doing it wrong,” he motions for you to move over as he walks closer to the bed. You follow his instruction, and he peels a layer of the bedsheet. Jungkook laughs as you scramble to get under it. “Better now?”

You didn’t answer but instead, lift your head from the sheets before nodding. He’s overcome with a sense of assurance when he sees your peaceful, content expression.

He hasn’t so much as turned his back on you when you call his name out once more.

“Jungkook.”

“Hm?”

“Thank you.”

“Just make sure you leave us a five-star rating.”

He grins just as you crack one eye open. “I’m serious.”

“So am I. We need that public approval to keep running,” he watches the corner of your lips twitch in amusement as you settle back comfortably into the futon with a nod.

“Jungkook.”

“Yes?”

“Was I wrong? For feeling wanted, I mean.”

Your question catches him by surprise; suddenly the hardwood floor beneath him begins to feel cold against his feet. Instead of returning to his previous spot, he carefully sits on the edge of the bed as the springs creak from his weight. He pulls both his legs underneath him; he couldn’t quite face you, so he stares at the television, instead.

“I don’t think so. We all crave validation, more so from our partners than anybody else. I think it’s natural. Otherwise, it’s pointless.”

“Pointless,” you echo softly.

“Doesn’t mean you can’t work it out, though. Part of it is communicating your needs to each other.”

Hypocrite, Jungkook says to himself. It’s laughable, the level of bullshit he allows himself to bask in. What’s the point of giving someone else advice, when he can’t even get his shit together?

“You have to be truthful because the other person might not know what you want.”

“I know that,” your voice is shaky when you speak. Jungkook hedges his bet and assumes that you began crying once more; he didn’t need to look back to confirm. “I guess I’m just scared of facing the outcome of the confrontation when it does happen.”

“You don’t want to be abandoned when shit hits the fan,” he says more to himself than you.

“Exactly. I don’t even know when it began. One day I just woke up and,” you pause, and Jungkook hears you sniffle. “And everything felt so unfamiliar. The places—the people I thought I knew. It’s like I dissociated from my body, and I've just been on autopilot ever since.”

You pause, and Jungkook continues for you. “And you thought going along with the flow would fix things, but it feels even more jarring because you’ve lost that sense of familiarity.”

“Yeah, exactly. I thought coming here would somehow magically restore everything, but quite the opposite, actually. I guess running away from it doesn’t solve anything,” you chuckle bitterly. He slowly shifts on the bed to face you.

For the first time in a long time, Jungkook feels seen; like someone has found the lock to the door he threw away so long ago. Your words continuously play on a loop in his mind, forcing him to look at the actions he’s been taking. Certainly, he’s not racing away from himself by choosing to move to a different country despite his parents’ protest, is he? What about the fact that he chooses not to tell her, the supposed love of his life, about the fact that he’d felt so deprived that he couldn’t resist the temptation to have sex with someone else? And to top it all off, he doesn’t have the guts to tell her.

Jungkook knows he doesn't deserve the right to sit there and tell you what to do when he doesn’t dare to be honest in his relationship.

When you’ve cried your eyes dry and the evenness of your breathing signifies you’re fast asleep, Jungkook gently moves from his spot on the bed. He grabs the phone that has been idly on top of the table, before heading to the bathroom and closing the door shut. No matter the outcome of the conversation, she deserves the truth.

Jungkook inhales deeply and presses the call button.

You rise before daybreak, and at a glance, Jungkook is nowhere to be found. There’s a painful throb on the side of your head as you sit up, and you ignore it as you untangle yourself from the sheets. With the help of the lights from the television, you find him splayed across the couch not too far from where you stand. He’s still wearing the same clothes he had on a few hours ago, and guilt creeps up quicker than you anticipated it to.

You untuck the blanket you’ve used from his bed before walking towards him, careful not to disturb his slumber.

“I apologize for bothering you,” you mumble as you lay the blanket softly on top of him. You didn’t think to wake him before your departure; you already told him that you were set to leave after a short nap, anyway.

Hurriedly, you exit his room, forgetting that you’re completely barefoot. It’s fine, it’s just a few floors down, anyway.

The short elevator ride gives you little room to prepare for what you’re going to tell Taehyung. You glance at the phone you’ve been keeping on ‘do not disturb’ to find two missed calls from him a few hours prior. You just hope he’s already asleep by the time you get to your room.

You’re relieved when you enter and the lights are turned off. It feels juvenile to be sneaking around as you use your phone’s light to pick up a discarded shirt before stripping away your clothes and hurriedly putting it on.

Taehyung’s body is turned towards the wall as he hugs the pillow tightly against his body. Seeing him tranquil and at peace shifts your mood, as if all the frustration you feel dissipates within an instant. You slide under the covers, careful not to disturb him but he shifts at your presence anyway. He forgoes the pillow, snaking his arms around your waist instead as he inches closer.

“Where have you been?” he murmurs sleepily against your ear.

“Just...here.”

He doesn’t ask further and you don’t elaborate, thinking that he’s fallen back asleep. A part of you is glad for the unadulterated freedom he’s giving you. But there’s a sudden feeling of optimism; perhaps the sensation of loneliness will pass, and that you’re merely being dramatic (for the lack of better term). Once again you’re lulled into complacency. But it’s never a bad thing to just hope for the best, right?

But Taehyung is gone by noon when you finally have the decency to peel yourself off the bed. There’s a simple text from several hours ago that reads: Didn’t want to disturb you. Call me later.

You do exactly that, but it takes you straight to voicemail. Twice. Three times.

Dread settles in the pit of your stomach, but you try not to read into the situation too much.

“It’s fine, I wanted a day to go around by myself anyway,” you say out loud, uncaring if the walls are the only ones hearing you out. You fall back into the mattress, knowing the eagerness to get ready will not come unless there’s anybody to encourage.

But it seems like you didn’t have to wait for your saving grace for too long because your phone rings and you immediately roll over to reach for it.

Your heart sinks when you read the caller ID, but you grin and answer the call, anyway.

“Hey, Mom.”

She answers back cheerily, before divulging into her familiar list of questions; the usual how are you’s and the have you been eating well’s. When she finally inquires about Taehyung, you answer hesitantly.

“He’s out for work. You know how it is.”

She sighs and you wince, regretting your choice of tone. “Did you argue again?”

“No! That’s not it at all. I’m just—”

“Whatever it is, just be patient with him,” she admonishes. Your grip on the phone tightens. Right, because that very same rhetoric did nothing to salvage your marriage with Dad. It had been one of the reasons why you decided to move away after high school in the first place. Your mother managed to convince you to move in with her, stating that she wanted to make up for being absent most of your youth.

A different country. Foreign places to see, people to meet. The thrill of it all had been enough to convince you to depart the only place you knew your entire life. But part of the reason why you agreed had been because you were growing weary of living with your father’s new family. There was never a sense of belonging that tied you to Seoul despite spending all your life there.

Except for Taehyung.

He followed you five years later, like a fool in love. Then you decided to get married two years after rekindling your relationship. Three years since then, it feels like you’re floating in between two sides of the same coin with him, neither in bliss nor in terror.

“I know,” you chew your bottom lip. Fear is catching fire in your chest, and you smother it quickly so it will not disperse and reach your heart. “I’m trying.”

She switches the topic quicker than you can wipe the tears that manage to fall, and soon enough she’s complaining to you about having to come out for late lunch with her friends. Your answers are short and subdued, just enough to let her know that you’re still there, but your mind is itching to run somewhere else. Before she hangs up, you give her a gentle reminder to check on your apartment. She promises not to forget.

“Have fun, dear! Don’t forget to visit the places I told you about.”

“You act as if I didn’t live here before,” she chuckles at your unintended humour. “But don’t worry, I won’t.”

The line cuts after a short goodbye, and you welcome silence with a long sigh. It seems like there’s a lot on the list for you to finish: get some food to cure your hangover, take a nap, and then another after waking up. The prospect of going out alone is more daunting than it seems, therefore, staying in feels like it’s the best option.

Suddenly, a fleeting thought crosses your mind. You could have called me.

You instinctively reach for the telephone by the bedside table and dial his room number, fresh and vivid in your memory.

It takes half an hour to get to the destination Jungkook suggested. He agreed that you’ll treat him to (a very late afternoon) lunch if he picks the place.

“No way, it’s still here!” you exclaim as soon as you step foot off the cab. Waves of nostalgia come trickling in one by one, then hits you all at once when you open the door. Your senses are overwhelmed with familiar spices as soon as you push the door open. You look back and beam at Jungkook, who’s watching you with a small smile.

It’s only when you’re seated and have ordered that Jungkook clears his throat before saying, “I’m glad you still remember.”

You gawk at him, before crossing your legs firmly beneath you.

“Are you kidding? They have the best bibimbap and tofu stew. I was here almost every night especially during the exam period.”

“I know,” he says with confidence and you eye him with suspicion. “I mean, it was tough not to. You were always so loud around your friends.”

You scoff at him despite you knowing it to be true, but Jungkook takes no offence to it as he grins.

“It’s called having fun. You should try it sometime,” you point at him with your spoon.

“I am having fun with—”

“If you say ‘with you’, I swear to god you’re going to pay for the food instead,” you warn him despite a smile threatening to break from your lips.

“With you,” he emphasizes the phrase almost mockingly. You murmur the word “impossible” under your breath as you feel the tips of your ears grow warm.

Although the comment seems gratuitous at the time of its conception, to Jungkook’s credit you also come to enjoy time spent with him. Perhaps it’s the fact that he stands between novelty and familiarity that you fall into an easy discourse with him; you didn’t have to choose your words too carefully or worry that he might think ill of you based on what you say. There’s no seed of doubt and no root cause of anxiety.

You can’t help but find it odd, nevertheless.

Jungkook, whom you’ve never shared more than two lines before your current interaction with him. You’d never have thought in a million years you’d confide in somebody who used to give you odd stares and unfriendly glares when you passed by him in the halls of your high school. The past you would gawk, confused as to how he manages to coax even the tiniest smile out of you.

You’re about to point out that very fact to Jungkook when your phone rings and you’re immediately reprieved back out of the comfort of his presence.

It’s Taehyung, and you immediately answer.

“Babe, don’t freak out, but I’m currently in Daegu. Crazy! I know, I know. But remember I told you last night about—”

He begins listing names you recall hearing in passing. But it didn’t matter, because you stop paying attention after hearing where his current location is.

“—is why I couldn’t answer your call. But don’t worry, I’ll be back tomorrow afternoon, probably.”

You watch Jungkook shift in his seat as he asks you if everything’s all right. You nod instinctively.

“Okay.”

“Cool. I’ll call you again later after we get settled. Love you.”

“Mhm.”

He must have been in a hurry because the call cuts before you could get another word in. Although you didn’t attempt to answer longer than a few sentences in the first place, afraid that the quiver in your voice will reveal the hurt and anger that has slowly been piling up one by one.

Jungkook thinks you’re a dam that’s overfilled and just about ready to burst. He’s afraid because you seem overly happy, obviously overcompensating for the devastation he had seen in your eyes hours prior to your call. He needn’t guess who it had been on the other side. Although he doesn’t know what Taehyung said, it’s enough to send you in a frantic search for your sanity.

This begins with you asking him to go to a karaoke bar with you, before proceeding to order several drinks. It’s on me, Jeon! I owe you lots, you declare before proceeding to down a whole glass of beer in one go.

Within the privacy the four walls of the room bring, you pour your energy into one upbeat song after another, seemingly uncaring of Jungkook’s presence. That is until your umpteenth song ends, and you turn away from the screen dramatically and towards him to hand him the mic.

“Your turn!”

“Great, I thought you’d never ask,” he says sarcastically and you join him on the seat, giggling. He takes the remote and punches in his selected number as a familiar tune comes through the speakers. He looks at you as he begins to sing the lyrics of the verse, and you break out into a small grin.

“I’m trying to realize, it’s alright to not be fine…” he sings softly as your head gently leans on his shoulder. Jungkook lets you.

He does again on the cab ride to the pub for a late dinner. And again on the way home. The weight of your presence against him is most likely inconsequential to the heaviness you carry around with you. That’s why he’ll do his part even though he most likely doesn’t have to; anything to let you know you’re not alone. He just hopes you know.

“Jungkook,” your voice is quiet against his ear as he carries you up the concrete steps.

“Yes?” he adjusts you on his back, careful not to drop you. He’s only slightly inebriated, and he’s hoping there will be no accidents for him or you.

“Thank you.”

“Just leave us a—”

“Five-star rating,” hearing your laughter feels ticklish in his stomach. “I will.”

His older brother greets him with an odd look once he enters the door of the lobby, before asking, “Is this what you skipped work for?”

“I’m only cashing in my days off before a leave,” Jungkook points at the elevator with his chin.

“Yeah, yeah,” his brother says dismissively before pressing the button for Jungkook. Silence passes through them as they wait for the doors to open. “Is she the reason why you changed your mind?”

Jungkook feels the steady rhythm of your pulse against his back, which is kilometres away from his erratic heartbeat. He tries not to put too much thought into it; he did just carry you up several flights of stairs, after all.

The harsh ping of the bell saves him from answering, and the older didn’t press him any further. It’s only after he’s turned the keys to your room, safely placed you on the bed — but not before he falls back onto the spot beside you with a deep sigh — that he has the time to formulate an articulate response.

“I’d like to think I did it out of my own volition. But a lot has happened the last few days, and, well…” he trails off as he turns his body to face you, one hand tucked against his cheek as the other reaches out to comb a stray hair out of your face.

You stir under his touch but he doesn’t make the effort to move away.

“Seems like I owe you again, Jeon Jungkook,” you whisper, the words stringing together seemingly in an indecipherable sound. He manages to put the pieces together, nonetheless.

“You’re not under any obligation to repay me,” he grins when you peel your eyes open. “I don’t want to give you all the credit, but you might have saved me more than once.”

“How so?”

The reflection of the city lights chase away the dimness of the room, but they also reflect your eyes in a way that makes Jungkook think you’re holding the galaxy’s secrets within them.

“I was having this, sort of, midlife crisis—”

“I’m going to stop you right there,” you place your elbow against the mattress as you lean your flushed cheeks against your palm. “Saying you’re having a midlife crisis now in your late twenties makes it seem like your life’s going to end in your sixties.”

He shrugs half-heartedly. The pessimist in him urges him to declare, “Who’s to say I won’t?”

“Boo! I hate this story already.”

“Buckle up, because it’s about to get worse,” he smiles wryly.

And Jungkook opens up his fresh wounds and bares his soul without pomp and flowery words. He watches your reaction intently, nonetheless, knowing well enough that by the end of the night, he might get kicked out of the halls. He’ll take the punishment kindly, since she didn’t have the chance to slap him when he could tell, despite the distance, that she would punch him square in the face.

“I know it’s wrong, and I’m not making any excuses for my actions.”

“I feel like I have no place to get angry at you. But strictly speaking, from a rational person’s point of view...fuck you.”

“I deserve no less,” he says, appreciating your candour. “That’s why last night, when you fell asleep, I told her everything. I realized that I had no place to speak of communicating when I’ve been holding out on the truth from her for a while now. You can only imagine how angry she is with me.” He swallows thickly, hating the way his throat constricts uncomfortably. Perhaps he did care about how you’ll view him, after all.

“Are you all right, though?”

The worry engraved in the crease between your brow disarms him; the unexpected delicacy in the way you ask him suddenly brings him into sobriety. After hearing the phrase I don’t want to see you, ever, he hasn’t had the time to process how he feels other than the guilt that continues to plague him. He’d buried heartbreak that comes along after losing somebody so quickly that realizing it now has him terrified of himself.

Has he truly reached the point where he’s incapable of feeling anything?

Or is it that somewhere between then and now, he’s fallen out of love with her and made excuses for himself so that it’s easier to let her hate him because he didn’t have the courage to break it off? Is it because he’s using her as an excuse — his ticket out of Seoul, out of the life he thinks to be mundane? Because if so, then he’s an even bigger scumbag than he originally thought.

“Jungkook?”

The warmth of your hand on his cheek salvages him from sinking into the bottomless depth of his thoughts.

“I can’t believe I strung her along for this long.”

Then it hits him all at once; an unavoidable freight train carrying the emotions he’s repressed himself from bearing. In him blossoms the violent need to abate the heaviness that began festering within the depths of his mind a long time ago.

One sob and you pull him against you. Two and you’re running your hands soothingly down the curves of his back. Three, and he’s clinging onto you for dear life as the uncontrollable cries consume him. He’s overcome by a sense of déjà vu as you wrap your arms tighter against him.

Jungkook lets you.

Again and again, he will selfishly welcome your presence, as if doing so would diminish him of any wrongdoings he has committed.

You drift in and out of consciousness, but the warm body stays unchanged beside you. Another aspect feels indifferent: The pounding headache constantly knocking against your temple. In hindsight, you probably need to stop drinking to the point where your body can’t handle the after-effects. Inhaling slowly puts your mind at ease as the scent of fresh lavender wafts over your senses; you’re immediately reminded of hanging freshly laundered sheets during a hot summer day. Only one person manages to conjure such specific and vivid imagery for you.

Jeon Jungkook.

Your body goes rigid at the feeling of his heavy arm draped across your waist. You slowly open your eyes, hoping that your initial hunch is wrong, and you’re merely dreaming that you let someone who’s neither a stranger nor a friend lay in bed with you.

But you’re met with his peaceful sleeping face, a stark difference between last night’s troubled and despaired Jungkook. For a split second, you let your mind wander with your heart amongst the perilous grounds of your imagination.

If picturing life with him is a sin, then there’s absolutely no saving you from entering the depths of hell.

(A tad bit over-dramatic on your part, but you believe you have the license to do so since you just woke up in the arms of someone else other than Taehyung.)

Despite the slight panic accentuated by the quick palpitations of your heartbeat, you make no genuine effort to move away. Bits of cynicism creeps up, either way, as you berate yourself for clinging onto anybody willing to keep you company.

But at this point, is Jungkook truly just ‘anybody’ to you? In a short period of time, you’ve managed to share more with him than you’ve had with Taehyung. With Jungkook, there’s nobody to compete for attention with.

So, what is holding you back from leaving the anguish behind and instead run straight on towards Jungkook? Is the sanctity of marriage you’ve sworn to uphold after seeing how it tore your own family apart enough of a reason to stay with him?

The answer sits on the tip of your tongue like a ripe fruit ready to burst.

Jungkook shifts his position as he raises one eyelid open before breaking out into a lazy grin. You return the gesture as you peel yourself away from his touch to sit upon the mattress and stretch your limbs wide.

“That was the best sleep I had in a while,” he admits.

“Maybe all you needed was a good cry.”

He gives you a knowing look. “Maybe.”

Silence ensues, and all of a sudden you’re unsure of what to tell him when minutes ago you allowed yourself to stare at him unabated. How exactly are you supposed to express gratification to the person who’s allowed themselves to be the unfortunate passenger to your rollercoaster of emotions? What’s more, is you’d done the same for him. Do you, then, without a need for more words, go back to how it had been previously and pretend nothing had happened?

You didn’t have much time to ponder because your phone vibrates in the back pocket of your jeans.

“What do you mean by ‘we need to talk’?”

“Good morning to you too, Taehyung,” you mumble. Jungkook’s eyes widen in surprise, as if in sudden realization of something he’d forgotten. He moves off the bed and motions for the bathroom. You nod wordlessly. It almost slipped your mind that you sent him a somewhat vague text the night previous after Jungkook’s spiel. “It means exactly what it says. We need to talk when you get back. You are coming back, right?”

“What’s with the sudden hostility in your tone? Of course, I’m coming back.”

“I think I deserve to be a little hostile,” a sudden wave of bravery washes over you. “How exactly am I supposed to feel after you leave me without warning on our trip?”

“I told you—”

“Stop fucking lying to me, Kim Taehyung,” your voice breaks as tears blur your vision. “You never talk about anything with me anymore, and you know it.” There’s a certain pride you feel when he doesn’t respond right away. “I can’t talk to you about this on the phone. I’ll be here when you get back.”

Jungkook returns well after you’ve ended the call with Taehyung.

“I should probably get back to my room and change. I need to take over for my brother.”

You follow him towards the door, where he haphazardly puts on his shoes. When he stands, he gazes at you, eyes filled with tenderness. Your heart stutters. “Will you be okay?”

“Of course,” you offer him an encouraging smile, but he doesn’t return it. With one nod he’s out the door, and you watch as his figure retreats towards the elevator without so much as a wave, not knowing that would be the last you see of him for a while.

Taehyung’s arrival comes earlier than expected and catches you after your long shower, but says nothing to quell your worries. He merely sits on the bed and watches you pace around the room; for a comb one minute, then you put on lotion next, then you’re folding clothes to be laundered — anything to busy yourself from confrontation. It’s not that your courage has wavered, but rather your dignity prevents you from breaking first.

Yet as soon as your name rolls off his tongue, there’s a magnetic pull that has your feet nimbly walking to where he is.

“I’m sorry,” is all it takes from him for you to unravel completely. There’s no shortage of fresh, hot tears as he engulfs you against him. You bring your palms up to grab on his shirt tightly, before hitting his chest with no real intentions of hurting him. He doesn’t stop you but instead pulls back to place a chaste kiss on your forehead. Your arms fall nimbly to the side and Taehyung continues to mutter apologies one after the other, catching each teardrop before they reach the bottom of your ruddy cheeks.

He waits until you’ve stopped sobbing before you begin diving into a conversation that’s been long overdue. Slowly, the walls you’ve built around yourself begin to crumble brick by brick as the imperfections of your relationship reveal itself on the surface. It’s uncomfortable for him as much as it is for you to dredge up old wounds, evident by the way his eyes well up with tears, but it’s an intervention needed to regain what was, if possible.

Both you and Taehyung know one conversation is not enough to undo the fractures, but it’s a step closer towards salvation.

The end of your trip creeps up closer than you’d like. You stopped tagging along with Taehyung’s workdays because he agreed to go places with you. Days without him are spent milling around the neighbouring places of the bed and breakfast, which leads to your discovery of the best spicy rice cake just around the corner of the street. There is also the obligatory bike ride alone around the Han river, which proves to be more satisfactory than almost anything you’ve ever done.

You find yourself looking for Jungkook in-between the hours where your mind wanders and for a split second, all of your thoughts are suddenly dedicated to him. Deception comes in the form of denial when you push the aimless sentiments aside, afraid that you might get too carried away. It’s maddening to think that he only seems to show up in times of dire need as if the deity responsible for overlooking fate is playing tricks on you.

(Though you know that if you want to see him, the only thing you have to do is knock on his door. You dismiss that idea, either way, for fear of being too obtrusive.)

On the day of your departure, you wake up early to catch breakfast. You ask Taehyung if he wants to join you despite knowing the answer. He grunts in response but stays unmoving. You untangle yourself from the warmth of his body before placing a soft kiss on his cheek.

Food has been prepared once you’re in the dining area, but there’s nobody to be found. It immediately reminds you of the first morning of your arrival—the excited faces of the children and their parents who were engrossed in a serious conversation, and the elderly couple enjoying their morning of peace together. Two weeks have gone by, and you’re not even sure if they’re still here or if they’ve moved on to see other places, meet other people.

Inadvertently, you steal a glimpse of the kitchen door, waiting for it to swing open and reveal the one person whose smile you’ve been longing to witness one last time. You grin as you shake your head; your propensity towards wishful thinking never ceases to make you feel disheartened.

“Last time you were staring longingly at your soup, and today you’re smiling to yourself,” his voice cuts through your thoughts intrusively as he strolls in, dressed down in a pair of casual joggers and an ill-fitting shirt too big to possibly belong to him. “Hi.”

Your gaze meets his, and breathlessly, you say, “Hi.”

He doesn’t make any gesture that indicates he wants to sit and chat this time around.

“Been busy?”

“I could say the same about you,” your lips curl upwards in a small smile. There’s a landslide of things you want to ask him, topics you want to share. You want to thank him over and over, invite him for a meal or even a simple walk around town. But words seem to fail you as you shift your eyes to stare at your half-eaten plate of fruit slices.

“My older brother mentioned you’re leaving today,” he announces offhandedly, scratching the nape of his neck. You’d like to think he’s just as unsure as you on how to go about having a conversation. Is he also stumbling over his thoughts like you are?

“Uh, yeah—” you flick your wristwatch to check the time— “I just have to wake Taeyhung, and we’ll be on our way.” The rueful smile he gives you feels like a splinter prodding your heart. “You?”

“Oh, I was just on my way to grab something before heading to the gym.”

“Ah,” you nod. Unlike the last time you two shared a conversation in the same place, this one is marred by awkward pauses and long bouts of silence. Afraid this will cause him to leave, you promptly state, “I honestly thought you ended up leaving the country since I didn’t see much of you.”

“That was the plan, yes,” his smile finally reaches his eyes. “I was supposed to leave a week ago— I mean, I had already bought the tickets and despite how it ended with me and her, I still wanted to leave. But someone told me just because you try to run from your problems doesn’t mean it will not follow you there.”

You chuckle as you shake your head. He continues. “I feel like I owe it to her to grant her wishes of not wanting to see me, no matter how much I wanted to get out of this place. A lot of reasons compelled me to stay, and I think I’m better for it.”

When your gaze meets his, there’s an unstated agreement; a kinship that cannot be unbound, locked away in a time you can only revisit through your memory.

“With that being said, I might tour Europe in two months’ time, starting with Sweden,” he grins playfully, cheeks dotted with a dimple. You roll your eyes as you stand before shoving him lightly by the shoulder.

“Alright, Richie Rich, no need to rub it in. I get it, I get it.”

“You have me mistaken, Miss. This was a culmination of years of hard work and savings.”

“I’m happy for you,” you say with finality. No matter how much you did not want the conversation to end, there’s a twinge of sweetness to a farewell amidst the bleakness that often comes along; it doesn’t always have to end in thunder and rainfall.

But then he asks, “Are you happy for you?”

It might have been then, at that moment, where you’d willingly say blurt the phrase out loud, your situation be damned. But you didn’t—you couldn’t. Not when you nod wordlessly. Not when he opens his arms seemingly as a conclusion, a wordless action that says: I should probably let you go so I can also go about with my day. Instead, you carefully place the three words in your back pocket to be used later before you step into the warmth of his embrace.

He whispers a farewell and a promise that you know you’ll carry in your heart until the time fate allows you to meet again at another time and another place.

#jungkook fanfic #jungkook angst #jungkook smut #jungkook x reader #taehyung fanfic #jungkook fluff #jungkook scenario #taehyung scenario #jungkook x you #taehyung x you #taehyung x reader #jungkook fic #bts fic #bts smut #bts angst #bts fluff #writing #taehyung #jungkook

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ahundredtimesover · 2 years

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A Still Day or A Hurricane (02) | JJK

Pairing: Jungkook x (f.) Reader

Genre/Tags: single mom lawyer!OC x pastry chef!Jungkook; angst, fluff, smut; age gap

Chapter Warnings: foul/explicit language; mentions of abandonment, sexism; case mentions of murder/manslaughter; pregnancy, fertility, artificial insemination, single parenthood; eventual smut (18+)

Chapter Word count: 10.2k

Status: Completed

Listen to: All Your Fault (Yugyeom), I’ll Be Your Star (So Soo Bin) || Playlist 🎶

A/N: Thank you for all the love for this fic! 💞 Please know that this story is a celebration of women, of parenthood, of family and friendship, and of partnership. A lot of my own experience and reflection went into this so here’s another piece of my heart to all of you. Enjoy the rest of the ride! And again, please excuse any inaccuracies in depicting the law field!

Series Masterlist

Jungkook does revert to his original hours the day after that talk with you, only keeping his morning shift thrice a week. He’d glance your way every once a while, then exchange pleasantries with you and crack jokes before you leave. Seeing your tender smile as you bid the staff goodbye is enough of the push he needs to make it through the rest of the day.

It's a good distance, he thinks, as he gets to learn little things about you with every visit, but nothing to make you uncomfortable or annoyed like before.

It’s a few weeks of cafe conversations later when the soft launch of the dessert menu takes place. Hobi invited you and your friends and family to the rooftop bar for it, wanting his favorite customer to be one of the first people to have the full afternoon tea experience.

The weather is perfect for this, and seeing the menu, your mouth waters at the thought of the dishes you’ll get to try today.

Jungkook comes up to present the spread, confidently talking about each type of dessert and the recommended tea or coffee pair for it. He merely glances at you, smiling sweetly as he does to the other customers, and doesn’t make an effort to start a conversation.

“That’s not just some puppy, ___, “ Yuri says, as she eyes Jungkook holding up the tray and effortlessly placing the dishes on the table. “That’s some Doberman shit.”

You choke on your honey biscuit, causing Jungkook to instantly head to you with a glass of water.

He asks if you’re okay, to which you respond with a nod. “Just let me or any of the servers know if you need anything else,” he smiles, before walking back to his spot while your twin siblings giggle next to you.

“Seriously?” You turn to your sister. “Doberman shit?”

“I see it!” Taehyung chirps. “It’s the lean build and the chest and the soft eyes, yeah.”

They then proceed to show you photos and share how affectionate such dogs are, but that they’re very active so you’d need to keep up.

You don’t miss the sultry way they say it, and you pinch their ears and tell them to shut it before Jungkook overhears them.

“He seems to be keeping his distance now, though,” Yuri observes. “Pretty mature if you ask me.”

“And this suddenly matters, why?” You ask.

“You’re getting boring. All you talk about are work and prenatal yoga poses,” she pouts. “I want the juicy stuff!”

“Excuse me! Those are pretty interesting,” you defend.

“Yeah, to old people like you.”

“We’re literally 4 years apart, Yuri.”

“You act like you’re way older, though,” Taehyung chimes in.

“Excuse me?” You playfully push both of them, as they both lean towards you. “I asked you both to come over this weekend so I could spend time with you, not for you to make fun of my age. We only do that to Jin, not me.”

“I heard that, ___,” Jin says from a few chairs down. “We’re literally 4 years apart.”

Byeol laughs in front of you, already used to the twins teasing you the way they do. It’s Sun-hee who’s spoiled, but Taehyung and Yuri just find ways to get on your nerves, which your best friend has pointed out is their way to show their love. She knows they prefer to sleep next to you on the bed whenever they visit you in Seoul, and they’ve done their share of pairing you with their older friends and colleagues over the years because they don’t want you to be alone all the time.

The rest of the afternoon goes by smoothly - full bellies and all - and you don’t recall feeling this satisfied being out on a weekend like this in a while.

The evening ends, and you can’t help but feel proud - of Hobi for pushing through with this, and of Jungkook for delivering. The food was wiped out, and even Yoongi, who’s never been a fan of sweets, absolutely loved everything.

You leave the cafe with the twins walking ahead and Jin teasing you in whispers about how Jungkook kept shyly looking at you, trying his best not to seem like it, as you turn back to the younger man who’s happily chatting with his own friends, not noticing you walk out the door.

It’s been over a month since Jungkook has last seen you. Forty-two days, to be exact, and he hates that he remembers. It was during the cafe’s soft launch of the dessert menu and afternoon tea spread, and you looked so vibrant in your pink wraparound dress that day.

You were laughing so freely, talking animatedly with your friends and family, and munching on the food that he made. He’d seen your plate at one point filled with all different kinds of pastries; you also really liked the cranberry and black tea drink that he created.

He loved the sound of your laugh and enjoyed seeing your eyes crinkle every time you smiled. You just looked so comfortable and confident, and though he may not know a lot of pregnant women apart from his siblings, he'd admit that you’re definitely the most beautiful one he’d ever laid eyes on.

It was a complete contrast to the serious woman he’d seen almost every morning in the cafe, eyes glued on her iPad or ears on the phone, talking about some law that he doesn’t understand.

You had a trial that was televised the other week, and he laid on the floor while he finished his sixth cup of ramen. He watched in awe as you pulled apart some witness’ testimony, his body reacting in certain ways that felt too intrusive and disrespectful; it was the only reason why he turned the TV off.

You’re so intentional whenever you speak; so decisive that he doesn’t know how you can make sense of things so quickly for you to make certain decisions the way you do. You’re pretty arrogant sometimes, something Jimin pointed out that many lawyers are.

But he finds all of it so attractive - the confidence, the respect you demand, and the way you unapologetically carry yourself - even more when he gets to see the other side of you, the one that’s tender and playful around the people you’re comfortable with, knowing you’re so much more than what you present to the rest of the world.

He’d seen you pull the ears of your siblings the day at the rooftop, and he knows if any of his own had done that to him, he would’ve bitten their arm out of frustration the way he used to. But yours didn’t, as they lovingly yet teasingly leaned on your shoulder, laughing with you as they showed you something on their phones.

You haven’t been coming to the cafe, and he hates how affected he is by it. If he’d known that he wouldn’t see you for so long, he would’ve spared you some time to properly say goodbye that day.

But Jin, whom he’d befriended after finding out they both go to the same boxing gym, was unusually close to you, holding you by the shoulder and whispering things in your ear.

Jungkook had been the petty one who felt a sting in his chest when he shouldn’t have, so he stood by the counter, talking to some college friends who dropped by, and watched you leave from his periphery. He’d gone to work earlier the next Monday to see you, but you didn’t come.

He meant what he said about being friends, but he can’t help the admiration and affection he also feels towards you. It’s quite nerve-wracking, as he’s never really felt it before. He doesn’t know what to do with it, even more now that it’s been weeks since he’s last seen you smile. He doesn’t want to ask Hobi or Jimin about you, afraid it will ruin the distance he created that helps him remain as a friend, like what you prefer; somehow he knows they’ll tell him if something’s wrong, but neither one brings up the topic of you, too.

It’s a Saturday when Jungkook decides to go to the grocery to look for ingredients for this strawberry mousse dessert he’s been thinking about. Your dress that last afternoon was pink and plush. The longer he didn’t see you, the more he thought about you and how summer-like you looked and he wanted to make something out of it. Hobi did tell him to keep experimenting, and that means deriving inspiration from anything. In Jungkook’s case, he finds himself constantly being inspired by you.

It’s as if the universe was on his side because there in the dairy aisle, is you.

He’s filled with excitement more than anything, so he approaches you, who’s currently tiptoeing trying to reach a carton of almond milk a few shelves up.

“Hey, ___, let me get it,” he says, easily getting the item you’ve been trying to reach for and placing it in your cart.

“Oh, Jungkook, hi,” you greet, surprise laced in your voice, as you didn’t really expect to see him. “Thank you.”

“No problem,” he smiles, eyeing your items and noticing the stack of persimmons, shrimp crackers, custard cakes, and the bars of dark chocolate and cans of nuts.

“Cravings have started?” He giggles.

“More like, gotten worse,” you respond. “I never know what I’d want to eat at whatever time of the day so I just got them all.”

“Well, that’s a good strategy. Though if it’s anything cooked or baked, you could just let me know; I’d happily make it for you,” he says without really thinking.

The words just come out, although he means them wholeheartedly.

“Hey, what did I say about the special treatment?” You remind him, your attempt at sounding stern not really working.

“It won’t be,” he defends. “Think of it as a side gig. I’d totally bill you!”

You playfully shake your head at his attempt, although you admit it’s quite tempting. You find yourself craving the most complicated, scrumptious things at random times of the day.

“You’re already busy at the cafe. I don’t wanna be a bother,” you say.

“Not at all. I mean, I don’t see you anymore anyway so…” he trails.

“Keeping tabs on me, Jungkook?” You tease.

“Nope, not in the 6 weeks since I’ve last seen you,” he laughs, and he breathes a sigh of relief when you laugh along with him. “But really, how have you been?”

“I’ve been good,” you say. “Just preoccupied with the usual things but trying to get some exercise in and stuff.”

You instinctively cradle your belly, something that he catches, and his eyes widen in surprise.

“___, you look great,” he exclaims, seeing how much bigger it’s gotten. “I hope that’s okay to say?”

He’d noted the slight bump the last time and it amazes him how fast things could change in such a short period of time.

“Yeah, and uh, thanks,” you reply, shyly trying to wrap your sweater over your shirt, to no avail, given that you can’t even zip up the thing without feeling suffocated.

Jungkook picks this up and furrows his eyebrows. “Is that why you haven’t been coming to the cafe? Because you’re showing?”

You debate whether to share with him or not, and you go with your gut and decide there’s no harm if you do.

“Sort of? Just in general, actually. I haven’t been going to my usual spots apart from the office. Being a single pregnant woman by choice is unfortunately a very foreign concept to many,” you ramble, recalling that one time that you went to the store where you usually buy your clothes and all the sales staff you’d gotten friendly with started bombarding you with questions, not wanting to believe you don’t have a famous boyfriend you’re keeping a secret or something. You didn’t miss one of the older customers who’d overhead comment how she feels “sorry for you.”

“It’s just tiring to explain or make them understand that I’m in fact pregnant but without a partner, and that this was completely my choice.”

“That does sound tiring.”

“It is,” you sigh. “The regulars at the cafe know each other and I’m just not yet in the right headspace to answer questions from people I don’t know too well.”

“I can listen. I mean, if you want to just let out your frustrations or want someone to understand or at least hear you out,” Jungkook offers. “Whatever your story is, I’m willing to listen, if that’ll help.”

“Oh, so you don’t know why I’m pregnant? You didn’t ask Jimin?”

You expected Jungkook to ask your friends more about you, given his admitted attraction and especially after Jimin had shared that you were pregnant but single, but apparently, Jungkook didn’t.

“Nah. You’re single and pregnant and it seemed personal and I didn’t wanna pry. But like I said, I’m here if you need me. I’d like to help with your groceries, too, because they’re a lot and I know pregnant women shouldn’t be tiring themselves,” he offers, and with as much confidence as he’s showing right now, he follows it up.

“Also, as a friend, maybe lunch?”

You look at Jungkook in his white track pants and sweatshirt, looking like he’d just come from a workout and maybe ready to spend his weekend off gaming or going out with his friends or trying out a new recipe. But he’s here, looking at you with his eyebrows raised as he awaits your answer, willing to help out the pregnant woman who’d turned him down not long ago.

It was tiring enough to even get all this food in your cart, and more so when you place them in your car and sort them in your kitchen. You have friends to help but you don’t like disturbing their days off when you can still manage, and you prefer not to let your siblings visit you in Seoul every weekend just because.

So you smile, seeing his sincerity, and take up Jungkook’s offer. He’d been the one to bring it up, qualifying it as a lunch between friends, and you’re the one actually gaining more from this, since you do need his help.

“Sure, Jungkook. That sounds great.”

You end up buying even more things, as being with Jungkook - who convinced you to check out the nearby department store and offered to push the cart - allowed you to walk more freely and see that some items you’ve been eyeing are on sale, like the car seat and baby towel set.

You’re satisfied, as you’re able to tick off some things from your growing list of baby items to buy. Nicer brands of the stroller and bathtub will go on sale next week, you were told, so you’re already planning your next weekend, perhaps ask Byeol if she can join you if she doesn’t have scheduled surgeries.

Jungkook didn’t want to stray too far, so you find a restaurant in the same vicinity for lunch. You don’t miss the way he smiles at you when he thinks you don’t see him, and how he worriedly looks at you whenever you cradle your belly.

“You do that a lot,” he voices out.

“It’s just a reflex for me,” you respond. “It might sound weird but it’s one of the things I looked forward to when I decided I wanted to have a baby. Cradling it feels so intimate, you know? Like, only I can do it this way, and it feels pretty special.”

Jungkook mimics your action, palming his torso and trying his best to understand what you mean and you laugh at his attempts. “I don’t fully understand but I get it, I think. I mean, when I lie on someone’s stomach and they cradle my head, it’s pretty intimate.”

You laugh even harder at this. “I’m not even gonna talk about breastfeeding,” you say.

“Ah, well that—”

“Was cue for you not to talk about it,” you playfully shake your head.

“I’m kidding. Yeah, I won’t. Though I’m sure you know what I’m talking about.”

“Unfortunately, I do.”

“So, the cradling, the feeding… You imagine those, huh? They make you excited for the pregnancy and having your baby,” he infers.

“It’s kind of a vision thing, I guess. It’s how I decide I want something,” you explain, feeling comfortable to open up about it.

It’s different being able to talk about it with someone who isn’t family, almost as if you’re trying to explain or defend yourself against a society that isn’t always so understanding. You’re just glad that Jungkook seems sincere about wanting to hear you out.

“I envision it, think of how I’ll look and feel, and if it makes my heart leap from excitement, I go for it. Then I make sure I achieve it. And the funny thing is, I imagine just this. Just me and the baby.”

“No father?”

“Not really? I mean, with or without, it didn’t matter. Mine left when I was young so I didn’t exactly know what it was like to have both parents, so having the child’s father didn’t seem like a necessity, aside from creating it, of course.”

“I’m sorry about your father leaving. That must’ve been hard for you and your siblings,” Jungkook sighs.

“You could say that, but things weren’t working out anymore. It was the hardest for my mother, though. But she never showed us that she struggled,” you narrate with a smile on your face. “She just figured things out, had people she trusted to take care of us when she couldn’t, became respected and powerful enough that she could miss days of being a doctor so she could be a parent to us.”

“She sounds amazing,” he smiles.

“She is. I have reasons for why I wanted to do this. And she’s one. I want to love as much as my mother loves us, and selfishly enough, I want to be loved as much as we love her.”

“That’s a nice way of looking at it,” Jungkook states. “My parents just said, screw it, we’re rich, let’s fuck as much as we want. And here we are, seven kids in total.”

You laugh at this, amused at how he looks at things.

“And you are…?”

“The youngest. Isn’t it obvious?”

“In hindsight, it should have been.”

“Well, my grandparents handed down their riches to my parents so we had servants and nannies and stuff. They said they didn’t really know what to do with my two eldest sisters. They did better with the third and fourth, and figured things out by the fifth and sixth. By the time they got to me, I think they felt like experts and things didn’t matter much so they just let me do what I want,” he says so casually.

“And I’m guessing, buy what you want?”

You eye his branded clothing and sneakers, being familiar with luxurious brands because of Jin.

“Something like that,” Jungkook laughs. “So yeah, I’m kinda spoiled. But they still knew how to handle me, and my siblings were all good to me. I think everyone breathed a sigh of relief that I didn’t turn out to be some insufferable douchebag who didn’t want to do anything with his life, even if I didn’t exactly know what I wanted to do at some point.”

“Hmm, so if Jeon Jungkook wasn’t a pastry chef, what would he be?” You ask, a little intrigued now.

You’re not surprised he comes from a rich family, and the way he was raised was definitely different from what you experienced.

“That depends, actually. Maybe a professional athlete, or gamer, or singer.”

“Oh, really now? You’re that talented?” You look at him in amusement.

“More like, that bored,” he shrugs. “I had so much time and my parents just enrolled me in whatever I asked, bought whatever equipment I needed. But I’d get tired of them right away and move on to the next hobby.”

“So why pastry school?”

“Funny story, I was actually a finance major for my first year of university,” he laughs, and you laugh along because it’s another thing you hadn’t expected.

He narrates how he was drunk when he was filling up the application forms and mistook finance for fine arts, but that he’d gotten in and even his parents were surprised that he was smart enough for it. He transferred to a game development course in his sophomore year after he got obsessed with Overwatch and actually became a top player for a time, he’d said cockily, but he got tired staring at a screen all day so he took a year off.

It’s a lot to take in, and you don’t think you’ve ever met someone as indecisive and laid-back as he is, given that he shares not really worrying much about what he’d end up doing, as long as it isn’t time in jail.

It amuses you how someone could feel that secure in their life, and he didn’t even say he felt lost, just unsure. It wasn’t that he didn’t know what to do, but more like, there were so many things he could do, and it’s the kind of mindset you can’t ever imagine yourself having.

“So on my year off, I followed my parents around during their trip to Europe and went to this pretty town in France,” he continues. “I had the best tarte tatin in this little cafe and I just knew I wanted to become a pastry chef. So I dropped out of college and enrolled in pastry school and here I am, having lunch with one Atty. Kim after I met you that night when you lied and said the tarts were too sweet when in fact, they were absolutely delicious.”

You chuckle at his bluntness, at his smug face that immediately turns shy and quite charming, and at the fact that those were indeed the words you told Hobi the week after the first meeting. You never got to apologize for lying, but you reckoned that Jungkook figured it out after a while, something you verbalize, which he cheekily laughs at.

“You seem to be enjoying what you do a lot, though. I was listening intently when you were explaining the spread during the launch and I was thoroughly impressed,” you grin. “You didn’t look like the guy who was jumping from one course to another years ago; you looked like you’ve been into desserts for longer.”

“Well, I tend to get pretty serious when I find something I really enjoy and happen to actually be good at. Things tend to be a mess in my head but when I start creating, they become so clear and I just feel it. The complete opposite of you, I guess. You visualize things before you actually start working on it.”

“It’s just how I’m wired,” you shrug. “Being the eldest, things needed to be in order for them to work out, you know? I had to grow up pretty early and that required being the responsible one, the rigid one, the one who had to plan, otherwise I wouldn’t get to turn in my homework, and Sun-hee wouldn’t get to eat, and Tae and Yuri wouldn’t be able to practice for their recital.”

“So was being a lawyer always the goal?” He wonders.

“Pretty much. It just felt so stable and straightforward - go to college, then law school, then work at a firm. Work hard for big returns. I get to be what I need to be for my family.”

“Used to everyone being dependent on you, huh?” He asks, nibbling on some biscuits that came with his coffee.

“Used to everyone expecting me to make it work, and I always do, as long as I do it my way,” you explain.

“And being pregnant and single is part of that?” He segues, curious eyes looking at you.

“Well, I did have a boyfriend, and we were together for 3 years. He brought up marriage and having a family in the first year, and then it just stopped being talked about,” you share, feeling a certain kind of liberation at being about to talk about it now that you’re here.

You recall how the talk of marriage used to excite you, given that you saw a future with Yun-seo for a time, but he broke up with you before you even got to tell him that.

“I knew I wanted at least 3 kids, ideally by the time I’m 35, and that meant having my first kid before I was 30,” you continue. “I’m a few years off but it’s okay. After the break up, I was gonna make it happen regardless. I had the time and money and energy for artificial insemination so that’s what I did.”

You don’t know what about Jungkook that makes it so easy to open up to him, to share the things that your loved ones know because they witnessed you go through all these emotions and challenges.

You’re not one to share so easily. Even with the other friendships you’ve made at work, you have an image to uphold - you want to be the one they look up to, not the one they feel pity for given everything you experienced.

Though you don’t know Jungkook as well, there’s just something about how he pays attention to every word that you say, the way his eyes look straight at you when you speak, and how he smiles and laughs and scrunches his nose and widens his eyes that lets you know he’s invested. He’s expressive when he speaks, and more so when he listens.

Work is always stressful, and the half hour you’re at the cafe every morning - eating food that he makes and sharing short conversations with him when he serves them - has always been refreshing. Speaking to him feels that way. All your friends are like you; Jungkook, even with his casual flirty nature and playfulness, is the kind of different that you don’t mind.

“I think that’s pretty brave. To be so sure about wanting something that you do absolutely anything to achieve it,” he holds your gaze. “That child is so lucky to have you as their mother.”

“You don’t think it’s arrogant or selfish of me?” You wonder, sipping your tea, unsure of what he’ll say.

“No, why would I think that?”

“I don’t know, maybe because I’m doing it all on my own? Maybe I’m depriving my kid of a normal childhood with them not having another parent?”

“Do you think your childhood is abnormal because you only had one?”

“No.”

“Then why would you think your kid would?”

Your silence urges Jungkook to continue.

“Is there anyone making you think it’s arrogant and selfish? Should I throw hands or something? I’m taking boxing, too, you know?”

You laugh at this, but there isn’t someone who thinks it, although you think that if Yun-seo hears about it, that’s exactly what he would say.

“Chill, Jungkook. There isn’t anyone. Just… a thought, I guess. It’s not typical for a 31-year old who’s single to choose artificial insemination just because.”

“Well, that’s true. But just because it isn’t typical doesn’t mean it’s wrong? Or in your case, arrogant or selfish? I mean, I may be naive about this but why should any two people - or in your case, any one person - choose to have a baby?”

“Because they’re ready?”

“Well, yes, financially and emotionally, I guess. But also, because they love. I could whine about my parents fucking like rabbits and honestly, they still do, I literally scream for them to go back to their room in the morning when my mom can’t make my dad do shit in the kitchen without her hugging or kissing him or something, but they fucking love each other.”

You smile, thinking of how funny that scene would be, but also, something that must be nice to witness, or maybe, even experience.

“Even when they fight, I see them love each other, and they love us. And you happen to just love. And that’s pretty sweet. Your mother must be one heck of a woman to instill that ability in you, huh?”

“She’s pretty kickass, actually,” you laugh. “But really, Jeon Jungkook, is that really you?” You tease.

“Not the sleazy guy who tried to hit on you multiple times, huh?”

“Yeah, not the one who pulled the whole, I like nice dates and long walks by the beach shit,” you double over, remembering the way he said it.

“Hey, not my best moment even if it’s true. It’s so cringey, why did I say that? Seriously, Jimin and Hobi gave me so much shit for it.”

“Yes, listen to them, don’t ever say that again,” you advise.

“But really, I don’t think you have anything to worry about. I know you’ve got friends and family to remind you of this, but just in case you need another person to do that, I’m here,” he offers with a genuine smile.

“Thanks. I just wanted to do this for myself, you know? I'm in a good spot financially, I’ve got a great support system, and I don’t feel like I need a partner to go through with this, at least not right now. And I’ll just hope that whoever comes in later on, they’ll want all this with me and accept it.”

Jungkook hopes you don’t see the slight pain on his face that comes at your words, at how you’d think no one would want you this way.

“They’d be stupid not to. I mean, it’s you, ___. That’d be their loss.”

“What do you mean it’s me? I’m not a saint, Jungkook. Don’t put me on a pedestal,” you warn.

“Oh, I’m not. Are you kidding? You terrify me.”

You’re not surprised, but you’re also glad he’s comfortable enough to say this to you.

“And why is that?” You cock an eyebrow.

“I don’t know, you have a judgey face sometimes,” he shrugs. “And the way you questioned that old woman witness and made her cry! It was pretty ruthless and scary. And—”

“Wait, old woman? You watched the Chang vs. Baek trial?”

“Yeah? It was on the news. Don’t get me wrong, it was pretty badass, but shit, you kept pushing her and she was crying!”

“She was clearly lying. She was in love with her boss and was covering for him. Anyone could tell. I just had to make her crack.”

“She still cried.”

“And your point is?”

“That you’re scary. And basically, you’re a lot of things. Jimin always talked about you, actually. First, you were that young, bossy lawyer who was never satisfied with anyone’s work unless it was her own.”

“Hmm.”

“Please don’t fire him,” Jungkook mumbles.

“I won’t. I can’t. Plus, it’s Park. We say shit to each other all the time,” you say.

“So yeah, it was like that at first. But then he ended up admiring your work ethic and your approach to things. You strive for perfection and so you demand that of others, pushing them to be better and it’s like you don’t need anyone and I just thought that was really cool,” he defends.

“Well, at least someone appreciates that side of me,” you manage a smile.

“A lot do, I’m sure. I’ve known Jimin for years and he rarely ever truly admires or looks up to someone. So let’s just say I got pretty excited when I met the Atty. Kim that night, and you were gorgeous, too, so that’s a plus. So anyone who wouldn’t accept you is pretty stupid.”

“That’s one way to convince me I’m not a terrible person,” you smile.

“Trust me, you’re far from it.”

It’s his smile - so innocent and trusting and full of faith that you don’t really know where it comes from, but it’s soothing somehow; it’s affirming more than anything.

You understand why Jimin and Hobi say a lot of good things about Jungkook, that even with being all over the place and a little chaotic sometimes, he’s simple-minded, and in a good way. He doesn’t think too much, he sees things as they are, and he just feels, and while you’ve always tried to strike a balance - but often tipping too much on the thinking part - it’s refreshing to be around someone like him; although quite disarming, too. He’s funny and comfortable, and that just makes you feel more at ease around him.

Lunch ends and Jungkook insists on riding with you to your apartment after he puts all your things in the trunk. You give in, as you wouldn’t want to exert too much effort with packing all this and risk anything.

“What about your car?” You ask as you drive away.

“I didn’t bring it. I can’t exactly drive it.”

“You… don’t know how to drive?”

“No,” he laughs. “I mean, I do. My, uh, my license got suspended a few weeks ago because I went over the limit for traffic violations.”

“What did you do?” You glare at him.

“Nothing serious, just illegal parking,” he chuckles in embarrassment. “I worked it out and took a test last year before I left for my internship so my violation count should be back to zero but the road traffic authority office claims they don’t have my records, even if I showed them my copy. Jimin says it’s an administrative thing.”

“Yes, since they can’t be losing people’s files in the first place,” you bellow. “Or lying about it.”

“So… yeah, I’ve just been taking the bus to work since I can’t drive my motorcycle or scooter, either.”

You merely hum, making a mental note to call the road traffic authority office on Monday to figure out what happened. It’s the least you could do for Jungkook, you think, for helping you today.

You make it to your apartment, trolley full of groceries and other baby things, and you’re thankful Jungkook is around. You clearly underestimated how heavy everything is.

He does what you say, putting them in the refrigerator and cupboards; fruits are in the bowl, and snacks are in the pantry.

“Takeouts?” He asks, as he puts the vegetables in the fridge.

“Only on days when I'm too tired to cook. Most of the time they don’t taste that great anyway,” you explain. “I prepare my own snacks but some dishes I crave are too much work so I just have them delivered.”

“Like what?”

“Stews, noodle soup, the occasional marinated meat,” you smile. “But it’s okay, Byeol comes in when she can and cooks for me. Yoongi, too, when I’m desperate.”

“What about me?” He pouts.

“What about you?”

“Uh, I literally cook for a living,” he says. “Well, bake. But I cook!”

He puts out the box of strawberry shortcake from one of the restaurants you found that sells it. “What is this?” He gasps dramatically.

“Uh, a craving?”

“___, I thought we were friends.”

“We are,” you laugh, approaching him and taking the box from his hand to put it back in the fridge. “It’s just… we’re not close enough for me to ask you to make me food and bake me stuff. That’s it. I told you to stop with the special treatment, in case you’ve forgotten.”

“Yes, but that’s before we agreed to be friends,” he argues. “I have time in my hands. I like to just cook or bake whatever. I do that for any of my friends! Ask Jimin.”

“Fine,” you give in. “If you want to, then, you could. But you’ll bill me, like you said.”

Your look is stern and Jungkook knows not to outsmart you on this one.

But his eyes light up and you can’t help but smile. He’s so child-like and amusing, and with all the stress going on at work, you think having him around to help isn’t so bad.

He places more things in the nursery that you and your siblings have started decorating. Jungkook looks in awe - at the yellow and grey painted walls and framed paintings of the sun, the moon, and the stars.

The crib has been set up, and a comfortable rocking chair is next to it. He has to force out the image of you sitting there, as you hum the baby to sleep, a soft smile on your face as you do so. He shouldn’t be thinking this, but he can’t help it, not when you looked so beautiful cradling your stomach earlier. You just seemed so happy, and it’s a sight he wants to keep seeing.

The changing table stands in an awkward position at the center, and he asks you if it’s meant to be there, but you say that it got too heavy midway, so he fixes it for you.

“And the bookshelf?” He points towards the unassembled pieces by the wall.

“I’m waiting for the other decor on the other side before I fix it. I need to make sure everything matches first,” you respond.

He chuckles, saying that you could call him once you’re ready to assemble it and he would do it for you.

You agree, knowing that your friends aren’t the most dependable at this - Byeol doesn’t have the patience, Namjoon breaks everything, and the last time you had Jimin and Yoongi assemble your shelf at the office, they bickered all through the night so you kicked them out.

Jungkook looks satisfied and he asks you to tell him how you imagine the place to be, and he watches in amusement as you say what items go where, and how your days and nights are gonna be when the baby comes, and the daycare center you found, and the park you’ll play in.

“Looks like you got it all figured out,” he smiles.

“For the most part, yeah. It was part of the envisioning thing.”

“Oh, I’m sure. But this all looks really good. I’m glad it’s all working out for you.”

He smiles again in awe and what seems like adoration. You smile back in appreciation because he didn’t have to help you as much as he has today, but he did, and not once did you feel like there was some ulterior motive on his end. He just did what you asked and encouraged you, which was what you needed today.

“Thank you, Jungkook. I’m actually glad you could see all this.”

“So am I, ___. So am I.”

“We could use the Song case as a precedent,” Jin says from across his dining table, as both of you and Jimin are currently working on your defense for one of the cases you’re working on.

Yoongi places a sizzling bowl of shrimp at the center since during late nights like this, he designates himself as the chef.

“I don’t think we’ll have a strong enough argument if we use that,” you state, poring over the other documents laid in front of you.

“Why not?” Jin asks, his tone hard now.

You’ve been on this for hours, and you and Jin have been going back and forth because of all the questions you’ve been asking that he has more questions for, and vice versa. Things don’t make sense to you when they do to him, and he makes points when you don’t know what his basis is.

“Did I not already make myself clear earlier?” You match his tone.

“No. It didn’t really make sense. You’re overcomplicating something that’s simple. We don’t have to unearth cases from a decade ago when we literally have something from last year.”

“We’re covering all the bases so they won’t question any more,” you counter.

“It’s a straightforward case, ___.”

“We need it to be airtight and a slam dunk , Jin.”

You both glare at each other, with neither one wanting to give in.

“So, uh… is this how your hookups usually start?” Jimin asks as he munches on the chips that Yoongi gave him right when you and Jin started going at it.

“There’s usually more sexual tension than this, actually,” Jin says casually.

“Oh god, shut up,” you roll your eyes. “Can we take a break? You’re annoying me. And for the record, they weren’t hookups.”

“Yeah, we just get comfortable, kinda like how she’s becoming with Jungkook,” Jin digresses, his smug face pissing you off even more.

The three men holler, the earlier argument now having been forgotten, and you scowl at them and say you and Jungkook are far from being comfortable, at least in the way that Jin is insinuating.

“I heard he’s been sending you food in your apartment,” Jin smirks. “And baked you a cake?”

“Min Yoongi! I told you that in secret!” You complain to your friend.

“You told me that in the elevator, ___. It didn’t seem like it was a secret,” he counters.

“So it’s true?” Jimin scoots close to you. “Are you finally giving in to Kook’s charms?”

“He’s just being his usual kind self, okay, like you insisted he is! He helped me with my groceries the other week, then said he’d send me some food - which I pay for - so I don’t eat takeout all the time, then he went with me to the department store sale last Sunday because Byeol had an emergency operation.”

“He also helped you assemble the bookshelf in the nursery,” Yoongi continues, earning him another death glare from you.

“He offered,” you clarify.

“Just don’t break the poor guy’s heart, okay?” Jin warns. “He’s so bulky and strong but he seems like the sensitive type.”

“I’m not going to break anyone’s heart. Nothing’s happening. He was really mature about the whole thing and said we could be friends and he hasn’t done anything beyond that,” you explain.

You turn to Jimin as if to confirm that Jungkook is naturally helpful and dependable, but he merely shrugs.

“All I know is that Kook is a charmer and really friendly. He mostly had flings back in college but I barely saw them, so I wouldn’t really know how he is when he’s seriously pining for someone. But I’m with Jin here, don’t lead him on, please,” your younger friend turns serious.

“I don’t think I am, though.”

“So the request to the road traffic authority office about a certain Jeon Jungkook’s suspended driver’s license is… what, exactly?” Jin smirks. “They called my secretary and assumed I was the Atty. Kim who reached out to them.”

Well, of course.

You meet your friends’ curious eyes and you tell them how you planned on working it out with the office, which they did. Jungkook’s license is ready, they said, and you know it’s the least you could do for him, given all that he’s done for you.

“There’s nothing going on,” you repeat. “Plus, I already told you guys I’m not looking to date right now. I’m in my second trimester. I don’t have the time and energy to meet people or deal with drama and stuff,” you add. “I have a baby on the way and that’s all I’m focusing on, nothing else.”

“You literally have time and energy for all that,” Jimin chides. “___, you’re 31, you’re not old; stop acting like you are.”

“I’m not acting like I’m old,” you correct him. “I’m acting like a 31-year old who’s pressed for time. Do you know how the words biological clock can cause emotional stress to women?” You sigh, feeling triggered every time the topic about age and fertility comes up.

“Whether it’s the pressure that we should have kids when we don’t want or that we’re running out of time when we do want, it’s not fun. There’s always that thought looming over our heads about whether we’ll make it on time enough not to risk anything - our health, our career. And you know me, I take these things to heart.”

“I know we’ve talked about this a bit after you dropped the baby bomb on me out of nowhere,” Jin starts after a beat of silence. “I know you’ve always wanted children, but why did you insist on having this baby now? I mean, I don’t doubt you could get a man in the next few years who’d be the endgame for you.”

You release a long sigh as you process Jin’s question. The decision to have this child was made years ago; the way to go about it just changed because of your relationship status. It’s not so much a personal matter as it is a complicated one, and you’ve battled too many societal expectations to let anything get in your way.

“It’s just… okay, biology basically says that there’s about a 38-year period where a woman can get pregnant, taking into account her first menstruation and menopause,” you start.

The men furrow their brows, trying to calculate but taking the information in.

“But it’s risky when we’re younger than 18 and older than 35. And given that our brains aren’t fully developed until we’re 25, and given the costs of living - the time when we are physically, emotionally, and financially capable of conceiving, carrying, birthing, and raising a child is in our early thirties. As in, my current age.”

You stare back at 3 pairs of wide eyes, and you’re unsure if they’re still processing what you said, judging you, or sympathizing with you, so you continue.

“Well, that’s the more technical side of it, I guess. But I just always believed this was the perfect time for me. I haven’t really peaked in my career yet, and I have time to build myself up in that aspect after all this,” you explain.”

“There’s so much noise about whether we should focus on motherhood or our career and that we can’t do both. This is me putting my foot down that I can, that I will. And this is how I’ll do it, with a partner or not. I don’t want to keep waiting for someone if I can do it on my own. He’ll come around when he’s meant to, but my choice to become a mother won’t depend on him. Because I really, really want this.”

“I hate to be the one to bring this up - and I adore your mom, you know that - but you said it was tough growing up, with her having to do everything on her own. And now you’re gonna be doing it, too,” Jin adds.

“It was tough even when my dad was still around,” you explain. “I know he tried but it got too much, financially, mostly. He wasn’t ready for all of us and he copped out. Neither was Mom. I mean, we’re 4 kids! But she managed. My grandparents and Byeol’s mom held the fort with her and that’s how we grew up… without a father but so many other parents who truly loved us. I don’t think we’d be this close and this happy if it was another way.”

You knew growing up that your family wasn’t conventional. You had enough family tree exercises at school to know that. But all those who raised you and your siblings chose to do that because they loved you wholeheartedly. And that’s what stuck with you - love, like what Jungkook had reminded you the other week. It’s what you experienced, regardless of how hard it was; it’s what those who raised you instilled in you, and it’s what you have for the child growing inside you.

“So, yeah. I can’t ever know what life will throw my way but I knew, taking from my parents’ experience, that the most I could do was be prepared and be my best self for this child,” you add. “Whatever external factors there are, I’ll take them on. Whatever I can control, I’ll control. I can only plan so much but at least there’s a plan, and this is my plan - have this baby at this age and adjust everything else around that. At least they’ll know I chose them and wanted them and did everything I could to make them feel loved and happy.”

Your voice gets small as you share this with your friends, the people you need to always look at you as the strong, capable woman that you are. You know they see you as such, and announcing that you decided to have this child on your own added to that.

But somehow laying it all out to them like this, rehashing your childhood and what made things so tough, makes you a little vulnerable. There’s something you fear that’s why you’re doing things this way - you’re scared to fail your child in all the ways you could. Planning makes sure that you don’t.

“Makes sense,” Yoongi finally says as he munches on a piece of bread. “You’re at your prime, and you’re capable of doing this, of making sure your kid can have everything, regardless if you have a partner or not. And I don’t doubt your ability to love this child, ___. You’re the fiercest woman I know but I’m pretty sure this kid will have you wrapped around their finger in no time.”

“Exactly,” you nod. “Biology sucks. Getting pregnant has a time limit, dating and the other stuff don’t. And yes. Watch me be a complete sucker for this little one. They’re gonna be my boss,” you laugh.

You turn towards Jimin, as if asking for some form of understanding.

“Honestly? I admire you for doing this for yourself,” he proudly smiles. “It may not be conventional but it’s great you get to have your say on something that concerns you. Family structures are changing, anyway. Plus, I know you go tiger mom mode on me sometimes but I’m sure you’re gonna be a great mother, ___.”

“Thanks, Park. I know you secretly love me,” you laugh. “But that really means a lot.”

“I try,” he smiles again.

“Well, you do you, ___,” Jin winks. “I don’t think I’ve ever doubted your capability in anything.”

“Maybe in a few cases, like this one,” you hum.

“Whatever,” he smiles.

It’s the fond one, the one he rarely gives to anyone but you’re blessed you get to see it directed at you. “Let’s finish dinner and get back to work.”

“A strawberry and cream eclair for you,” Jungkook places the dessert in front of you, “and a coffee one for you,” he places the other one in front of Sun-hee.

“Looks good,” you eye your sister’s order.

“You’ve got your caffeine fill for today, ___. You can’t have any more,” Jungkook reminds you.

“Okay, doctor,” you playfully roll your eyes.

“Thanks, Jungkook. She’s a stubborn one, isn’t she?” Sun-hee says.

“Uh-huh. Orders people around but hates it when someone does it to her,” he scoffs.

“And so inflexible sometimes.”

“And won’t shut up.”

“Yah! Pay for your own meal and train ticket while you’re at it,” you glare at your sister. “And you,” you scowl at Jungkook, his teasing, boyish face making it hard to be serious. “Stop being annoying.”

He scrunches his nose like a kid and you have to remind yourself he’s a grown adult with muscles. And abs, probably.

“It’s fun to tease you,” he sticks out his tongue. “Anything else you need?”

“Yes, your manager. To complain about you,” you cross your arms.

He laughs again. “Hobi’s running errands so you can complain to me,” he smirks. “But anyway, you’re out early. And not with your usual companions. You on leave?” He digresses.

“Just a half day. Going to the doctor for a check-up this afternoon,” you respond.

“It’s gloomy out; it might rain soon. Do you need a ride? I got my license back,” he proudly smiles.

“Yes!” Your sister exclaims. “Big sis here tends to get agitated especially when it’s raining and I don’t know how to drive so… If you’re off the clock early, your help would be greatly appreciated.”

He turns to your displeased face as you argue with your sister, chuckling at how affected you seem to be by this.

“We’ve decided,” Sun-hee says. “We’ll take up your offer.”

“Sure. Boss gets back soon so I can go when you’re done,” Jungkook grins before walking back to the kitchen.

Sun-hee’s smug face prompts you to roll your eyes at her.

“Doberman. Puppy,” she mouths the words, earning her a scowl this time.

“You guys are terrible,” you shake your head. “We can manage the ride.”

“Yeah, but that’s no fun! And Byeol’s right, you know? He’s pretty hot.”

“You can have him.”

“Not my type,” she says.

“Not mine either.”

“Yeah, and an older and more established and supposedly mature guy is? How did that work for you?” She cocks an eyebrow.

“You know, I really attribute my bossiness to the bullying I continually experience from all of you,” you complain.

“Just pointing out that having a type doesn’t hold much weight when the guy isn’t actually great. Yun-seo ticked a lot of your boxes but not the important ones,” Sun-hee defends. “Sometimes, simple is good. Maybe if you try not to think too much, you’ll actually get what you want this time.”

Jungkook looks up from the game on his phone when he hears the clinic door open, your voice echoing in the semi-empty hallway of the hospital.

“Hey, how did it go?” He asks, standing up. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah,” you smile at him, cradling your belly. “I am. She is.”

“You’re having a girl,” he beams, his wide, crinkled eyes making you smile.

You nod excitedly, showing him the sonogram from today’s ultrasound.

“Oh my god, she’s human.”

You smack his arm. “What did you expect I was having!”

“I mean, she’s fully formed,” he corrects himself. “She’s got a cute little nose and she looks so comfortable.”

He goes over all the details of the baby in the photo, thinking how amazing it is that she’s growing in your belly.

“I’m nearing my third trimester, Jungkook,” you rub your belly again, the act you do that oddly makes his heart jump because of how happy and content you look. “Before I know it, I’m at full term and pushing her out of me.”

“Yeah, you do keep getting bigger and bigger.”

Your immediate scowl makes him backtrack again. “I mean your belly, ___! Your belly keeps getting bigger and bigger, I get surprised every time.”

“Dude, do you even think of what you say before you say it?” Sun-hee laughs, amused at how Jungkook can go from sweet guy to an idiot in a span of seconds.

“Not always,” he shrugs. “But anyway, you’re both good? The rain’s picked up and we don’t wanna miss your train,” he turns to your sister.

You’d all decided that he can drive straight to the station after the checkup on the way here.

“Yeah, let’s go,” she says.

The car ride, as it was earlier, is chaotic. Sun-hee is a firecracker, and she badgers Jungkook to share how his upbringing was like, what he’d done before getting the job at the cafe, what he does in his spare time, how he is in relationships, what he thinks of capable and independent women, and if being a househusband is something he doesn’t mind.

You know what she’s doing, and you glare at her from the passenger seat and she merely shrugs, saying she’s just trying to get to know him for her, although her smirk says otherwise. Jungkook, on the other hand, doesn’t seem to pick up on what the purpose of the questions are, but he answers them honestly.

“What about capable and independent women?” He asks. “Should there be anything wrong with it?”

You hum, thinking it’s what Yun-seo’s colleagues always said of you, and you know at one point that got to him.

“Nothing. It just bothers a lot of people. Men, specifically,” your sister says pointedly.

“Well, not me. My mom and sisters are all like that.”

“What about your exes? Didn’t they get needy and dependent and shit?” Sun-hee follows up.

“Sometimes, but so did I. I never really had long-term partners but those still meant something,” he shares. “We all have limits when it comes to dependence but I liked being around them and they liked being around me. That’s what mattered. Either way, it’s a relationship; needing the other is a part of it but that shouldn’t be bad, right?”

“But your level of need has to match the other person’s. It should be healthy, freeing, not self-serving. You’re gonna need to be on the same page all the time,” you counter.

“That’s why you talk and communicate, ___,” he says matter-of-factly. “That shouldn’t be complicated. Being in a relationship is supposed to be the most natural thing in the world.”

“You need to work on them, though. It’s not all rainbows and sunshine and sex,” you say bitterly. “You can get scared, insecure, angry… that's hard to deal with. It’s not easy.”

“I didn’t say it was easy, I just said it’s natural, and at the core of it, simple,” he counters. “Do you want the person? Stay. You don’t? Then leave. I always just knew when to leave, and I never regretted it.”

Jungkook pulls the brake as you all make it to the station, turning to look at you. “Choosing is easy when you’re sure.”

You look back at him, your lips parted as your questioning eyes meet his certain ones. He seemed so mindless and playful earlier, but the straightforwardness and certainty in his last statement surprises you.

You feel the tension thicken, and so does Sun-hee, as she announces that she’ll leave, hurriedly thanking Jungkook and telling you she’ll call when the train leaves and when she arrives home.

“She’s fun,” Jungkook says as he drives again.

“She’s a handful.”

“But she adores you. All your siblings seem to.”

“Yeah, because I pay for their shit,” you laugh.

He laughs along, and he proceeds to tell stories of his own siblings spoiling him, praising him, annoying him. And how he’d grown up playing pranks on them as revenge, but that they never missed a recital or a game, and how during his months of internship in Singapore, each one of them visited and gave him large tips.

You listen attentively and laugh at all the anecdotes, pointing out how childish and immature he can be, and he shares more stories to show that it’s not always the case. He was the one always fixing the broken lights at home, and the one killing the insects at their grandparents’ cabin because his sisters hate them.

The rain has caused the traffic to worsen, and you both go from one conversation to the next, focusing on his high school and college days and all the trouble he got into. You don’t recall laughing as much as this, and you turn to your side, Jungkook’s dulcet laughter filling the air, his mouth parted, eyes crinkled, his nose scrunched like a little bunny, and his shoulders raising and shaking in enjoyment.

You savor this Jungkook - unfiltered, playful, funny, but so comfortable to be with.

Like it’s natural.

“It’s dinner time. You craving for anything?” He turns to you.

“Walnut and pecan waffles with cheese sausages. And radish kimchi,” you pout. “And mango crepe.”

He laughs again in his usual child-like manner, but the way he says he’ll make them for you at the cafe, and how he grips the steering wheel with one hand and combs his hair with another, is anything but.

You arrive at the Blue Side and he makes the food exactly how you want it, partly because you’re hovering the entire time he’s preparing it, but he lets you nag him with the thickness of the waffle and the cook of the sausages.

You sneak in smiles in between as you watch him work and reason that the heat from your cheeks is from being in the kitchen, and not because he looks so good with the apron over his rolled up black sweatshirt and the half bun he tied, exposing the undercut you didn’t realize he has.

Hobi laughs during the whole affair, as he watches in amusement and eats the extras that Jungkook makes. You’re thankful he let Jungkook do this for you, with you promising a large tip during your next visit. You bid them both goodbye and head home to get your much-needed rest for the day.

You lay on your bed and think of the laughter-filled day you just had, with relief flooding you that your baby is healthy. Hand cradling your belly, you read your sister’s text from earlier.

[Baby Sis 😈] You and Jk are so fucking different but you make such a cute couple, ngl sis. He cute and unproblematic. Go get you that dobie

[Baby Sis 😈] But in all seriousness, think about it. He’s still into you, and I’m starting to think you might like him too

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Permanent Taglist: @sherlynxx @di0rgguk @thequeen-kat @mwitsmejk @fan-ati--c @cravingforhotchocolate @adoraminie@helenazbmrskai @weasleyswizarding-wheezes @preciouschimine @gukssunshine @nch327 @petalsofink @shatzkrinslinzki @kookxin @petuliii @yoursthv @libra04 @jvngkooker @aman211 @fancycollectormoon @yoonqki

Series Taglist: @seagulljk @twixxxpie @yawnzzznini @starbtslove @jungoomoles @codeinebelle @jktones @bids97 @main-bangtansmauyeondan @ohmydarlin-g @jkkkkkay

#jungkook fic #jungkook angst #jungkook fluff #jungkook smut #jungkook x reader #jungkook x you #jeon jungkook #jungkook fanfic #jungkook fanfiction #bts jungkook #single mom oc #pastry chef jk #serie #asdoah

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bibbykins · 3 years

Note

the brunch event is here I’m excited!!! @ all MCs, what’s the sweetest fluffiest thing the guys have done for you / you’ve done with the guys? (craving some fluff today, hope you don’t mind!)

(Holy shit, this was longer than I intended but I hope you like it!) (Also this is long and I'm on mobile so I'm sorry for no read later thing here pls dont be mean to me)

Warnings: crying, PTSD, phantom pains/touches

The girls all smile at the question and decide the order they'll go in before Leopard takes a sip of her mimosa and speaks, "One day, Jin said he was taking me to go look at some clothes for an event we'd have to go to," She relaxes in her seat, fingers curling around the champagne glass gracefully, as if she's proudly told this story a million times, "Then, we pull up to a storage place and I'm like 'okay, so you're murdering me?'" She laughs in spite of knowing he's capable of murder, "He takes my hand and then takes me into a unit and in there are sketchbooks upon props and prototypes that I had ever made." She grinned at the thought, "I had started doing stage design and writing when I was 16 and my family never took home my props or anything, so I thought they were just... gone, and then here they all were." She sighed dreamily, "It just... made me feel like someone was proud of that 16 year old hurting herself on nail guns trying to build, or that 18 year old who took an hour to control a sander, it made me feel so exalted for my hard work."

Princess and Dove are already tearing up despite having heard the story before and Leopard holds their hands until they calm down, knowing they will absolutely cry when everyone is done telling their stories.

"Ah, it's my turn!" Sunshine gleams, "I'm pretty easy to make happy, like ordering my favorite food is groundbreaking to me no matter how often you do it." The girls giggle and nod at this, "But, there was one time we on our way to do our engagement photo shoot at the restaurant we had our first date, but then he pulls over and tell me he wants to show me something." She can't contain her growing smile, "And I'm confused, becuase we stop at this beautiful lake and he hates the outdoors." She chuckles at this, "But then he leads us into a beautiful field with wild flowers and a camera with a tripod." Princess has already let tears fall at this point, "And he tells me this is our engagement photoshoot, something just for us." Sunshine takes a bite of her crepe, "It was just so sweet and grounding since everything something happens with us, it's publicized, which is fine for the most part, but for him to set something up that's just for us to have, especially in nature, so sweet." The girls all giggle and coo at Sunshine.

"Oh, no! I know what story Sweet Pea is gonna say and I'm totally gonna break!" Odette grips Sunshine as the woman in question giggles.

"It's okay, I cried like a baby too." Sweet Pea giggles and she begins cutting Princess's pancakes for her like she always does, "So he was taking me to a gallery, didn't tell me for who for some reason, but you know me, I love a good exhibition." She snickered, "When we get there, I realize it's for my favorite enameler, or art jewler. He uses this beautiful etching technique and makes some stunning intaglio pieces I absolutely adore." The girls all mentally prep their tear ducts for the next part, "And so he has me meet the artist, and I'm freaking out the whole time and trying to hide it, until the artist tells me he has a piece he want to show me." She has excitement on her face just thinking about it, "And he takes me to a piece I haven't seen before and isn't with the new collection. It's an aquamarine pendant with a beautiful silver chain that had parts of a see through material interwoven. The gem was held in place with a beautiful silver trim that looks light and airy, like clouds almost, and in the pendant is this beautiful etching of a familiar skyline." Odette wipes a tear away at the speed of light, "And then Namjoon tells me it's the skyline from where we first met on that forsaken sky bridge and the silver with glass represents the steps that lead me to him." The girls coo at Sweet Pea tearing up for a moment.

"Ah, it's my turn!" Odette wipes away tears frantically, "Mine is quite simple, but it meant a lot to me." She smiles gleefully, "For background, before I majored in journalism, I was a dance major, contemporary, but I had an injury and was out of commission for too long by the time it healed. I didn't even tell Jimin until we had been dating for a couple months, I feel weird talking about it sometimes." She shrugged simply, "So I beacame his practice partner after that, which was fun, and one time we soent ages practicing thus one choreo bc he claimed he didn't want to practice with his actual partner, ever the drama queen." She giggled, "Then, the day of the showcase comes and he reveals that the dance was choreographed for me and him and it's our showcase." She held a toothy grin, "He gave me the feeling of being a dancer again, and it just felt like the closure I needed that I never got from my dancing career."

"It was a beautiful showcase." Angel nodded in agreement and Odette beamed at her praise while the other girls nod.

Dove hums as she chews her food before speaking, "So I do hand stitching, right? I don't think I'm very good..." All the women scowl at her, "But, they and Taehyung think I'm great at it and it calms me down so I make them a lot of hand stitched art or monogrammed clothing or I do commissions for their family." She smiles shyly, "So one day, Tae-Tae says he's taking me to Sweet Pea's gallery, but when we get there, it's all of my pieces up there. And the whole time people are greeting me and telling me how talented I am, asking what pieces they can buy and offering crazy prices, not that these guys would let go of my pieces." She snickered and the girls nodded proudly, "My name was in articles the next day, and he made me feel like I was someone to show off, like I was the impressive one, or impressive at all."

"Because you are impressive, hello?" Sunshine teased.

Princess has mascara streaks on her cheeks and Sweet Pea begins digging through her bag for makeuo wipes, "Uh, I'm not really good at storytelling and I'm a mess, so I'll make it quite short." She sniffled, "inhave this horrible habit of making clothes I hate and then donating them and Kook is always so dramatic when I do, like he has any business with a spring dress that would rip under his bicep." She giggles for a moment as Leopard begins wiping her cheeks, "And then he takes me to fashion week and...and..." She starts crying again and Odette coos at her, "My work, he had me on there as an up and coming designer and people were so nice to me and everytime I got overwhelmed, he took the reigns and it... my childhood dreams came true." She laid her head in Angel's lap, knowing it was her turn. The woman in question strokes the younger's hair soothingly.

Before Angel can even speak, all the girls are holding her hand or holding her and she rolls her eyes playfully, smilimg at the affection, "This why I'm going last." She giggled, "They get like this everytime I tell this story, even Leopard cries."

"Shush." Leopard, who is standing behind Angel's chair and stroking her hair quips, embarrassed, "We just care about you." She huffs.

"Well, it was a year after... the incident." Dove begins braiding Angel's hair to hide her incoming tears, "And I tried to go to work, but my body was not having it, so he stayed home with me and did everything the therapist said to grounding techniques and all, and stuff I could've done on my own, but he insisted." She smiled, "When dinner came around, I began feeling... phantom touches, pains. Like, my cheek ached and my tongue felt like it was burning, everything." Her smile was a bit sad, "It's normal with PTSD, but it doesn't make it any less frightening and none of the other grounding techniques were working, so he sits me on the counter, plays my favorite music, and begins 'treating' my wounds." Princess has her head in Angel's lap, but everyone can tell she's crying, "So for hours, he's there and showing me the clean gauze after treating my phantom wounds so delicately, and it really brought me back into the moment, that this is the man who loves me and this is where I am now." She smiles despite all the other girls being teary-eyed messes.

#seven princes of campus #seven princes brunch event #yandere bts

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blu-joons · 4 years

Text

BTS Reaction: The Boys Tease Him For Helping With Chores

Jin:

A knock at the door disturbed him from his chores, as he walked over, he found the six boys all stood, studying him closely.

“You seem to have something on your hands,” Namjoon teased, pointing out the cleaning gloves he wore, “what on earth are you up to?”

“I’ve been helping Y/N clean the place, her parents are coming tomorrow,” he told them, taking the gloves off, throwing them to the side, “they weren’t my decision to wear.”

Jungkook sniggered, “I think they look really good, goes well with the yellow in the top your wearing.”

He sighed, letting them all in, “if you’re just going to have a go, then you can all just leave, Y/N won’t let me go until this place is spotless, I just want to escape right now.”

“It looks like you’re doing a good job,” Yoongi chuckled, “I’ve never been able to see myself in that mirror before, I forgot how handsome I am.”

“You’re not funny, three times I’ve had to do it to reach her satisfaction,” he groaned, throwing himself down on the sofa, “can any of you please help me with an excuse to get away?”

“Sorry, but Y/N needs you more right now,” Taehyung laughed, throwing his gloves back at him.

“I hate you all.”

Yoongi:

The boys all sniggered as they watched Yoongi walk around with a cloth, wiping across all the units under your close supervision.

“Do you think you could bring Yoongi to clean our home?” Jimin asked you as you watched him closely, “he’s doing such a good job.”

“Jimin, don’t even start,” Yoongi stropped, turning around to face him, “it’s bad enough that I have to clean my own home, let alone yours, I would never clean yours.”

Jimin smirked, “you’re whipped for Y/N, if she tells you to come and help me, you definitely will, or she’ll make you.”

You laughed across at him, “all of you need to start becoming a bit more domesticated, your adults now, these are things you have to do in order to live.”

“But when Yoongi does such a good job, is it worth all of us helping?” Jungkook added, earning himself a glare from Yoongi across the living room, smiling widely at him.

“Do none of you have anywhere better to be?” He asked, but they all shook their heads, pointing at the job he was doing, “this can’t be all you have to do with your time.”

“It’s pretty entertaining right now,” Taehyung giggled, “I could stay here all day.”

“Please don’t stay.”

Hoseok:

The banging at the front door was enough to wake anyone, Hobi had no idea until he took his headphones out, walking across to open it.

“We’ve been out here for ages,” Yoongi grumbled, barging his way in with the rest of the boys all following behind him, “it’s freezing cold too.”

“I’ve been busy, I didn’t hear the door,” he sighed, walking into the living room when he saw their eyes fall on the hoover that he’d left in the middle of the room.

Jin turned to look at him, “please tell me that you didn’t hear us because you were too busy making your living room tidy.”

His eyes rolled, nodding his head, “I spilt some bits earlier, and Y/N told me I had to clean it up, I hardly know how to use this thing, can one of you help me, please?”

“Where’s the fun in that?” Jin challenged, sitting down in the armchair, “I think it would be much more entertaining t sit here and wait for you.”

“I’ve been figuring this thing out for an hour, I can find the on button, but that’s about he,” he told them all, “think of it this way, the sooner this gets done, the sooner we go to dinner.”

“I guess I could give you a hand,” Yoongi shrugged, taking the hoover from him, “but if I help you, then you pay for mine.”

“That’s a deal.”

Namjoon:

His hands were soapy, taking several attempts to answer the call that came through from Hobi, smiling as his face came on the screen.

“What took you so long?” Hobi asked, with a confused expression on his face as Namjoon looked down, unable to hold onto his phone.

“I’m doing the washing up, so you’ll have to stay like that,” he told him, hearing Hobi sniggering in response, seeing him doing the chores around the house.

He laughed, “Y/N has got you on your best behaviour, you hardly ever did the washing up when you used to live with us.”

Namjoon sighed back at him, “you would always tell me not to in case I broke anything, Y/N’s probably crazy for expecting me to do the washing up without damage.”

“It’s nice to see you helping her out,” he teased, “if you can do the washing up there, maybe you can do it when you come back to the dorms too.”

“I don’t know about that,” Namjoon giggled, drying his hands, picking up the phone, “seeing as I don’t live there anymore, I don’t think it’s my responsibility anymore.”

“That’s a terrible idea,” he grinned, “I’ve seen the evidence now that you can in fact wash up.”

“This means nothing.”

Jimin:

The delicious smells that came from the kitchen encouraged all the boys downstairs, looking between the two of you.

“I didn’t realise you were cooking dinner tonight,” Taehyung smiled, sitting down beside you, “that’s so kind of you Jimin, thank you.”

“I’m not cooking for you idiots,” he argued, staring at them all, “this is for me and Y/N to enjoy, I wanted to do something nice, for the two of us to enjoy, alone.”

Jungkook grinned, “you can’t expect us not to come down when we smell food, it would be rude to ignore us too.”

They all took a seat at the table, “have you got enough to go around for eight of us? We’ve had a long day, and we need filling up on good food Jimin.”

“What part of this is dinner for the two of us do you not understand?” He asked them all, “I cook once, and that’s for Y/N, not for any of you.”

“What do you think Y/N?” Yoongi asked you, “I think it’s only fair that if Jimin cooks for one person, he cooks for us all. We take it in turns in this house to do things.”

“I’m not getting involved,” you spoke, holding your hands up innocently, “sort this between yourselves.”

“We’re staying then.”

Taehyung:

When he turned up at the studio with a black mark across his shirt, he hoped the boys would ignore it, but their eyes were fixated on it.

“Have you realised the huge mark on your top?” Jin asked him, pointing it out in the mirror of the studio, “why did you wear a top like that.”

“Because it was the last one in my wardrobe, Y/N told me I had to iron it to get all the creases out,” he vented, showing them all the clear burn mark that the iron had left.

Jin struggled to hold back his laughter, “why do I get the impression that you’ve never used an iron before in your life.”

Taehyung nodded, he had it spot on, “Y/N normally does it, but she told me I had to start doing things for myself, safe to say I won’t be doing any ironing again.”

“How did you manage to make such a mess of it?” Namjoon then asked, studying it closely, struggling to understand how he’d managed it.

“I left the iron on the shirt by accident when I answered my phone, I didn’t realise that would happen,” he sighed, stretching his top out, letting out a groan of frustration.

“How did you not realise that would happen? Irons are hot, they burn things, isn’t that obvious?”

“Apparently not to me.”

Jungkook:

The boys all sat in the living room whilst Jungkook moved around the house, cleaning everything up until it was perfect.

“Remind me why you’re doing this?” Hobi asked him, leaning back and watching him closely, “I’ve never seen you do this?”

“Y/N told me I’ve been leaving the house a mess, so whilst she’s at work, I’m to tidy the place up,” he told them all, watching them all laugh at the situation he found himself in.

Hobi chuckled across at him, “she’s got you whipped Kook, you’d never do anything like this at home, what she’s done to make you change?”

His shoulders shrugged, “she’s scary when she’s angry, you guys are harmless, but if this house isn’t tidy when she gets home, I am definitely in big trouble.”

“Maybe we could help,” Jimin suggested, “we came round unexpectedly, if the house isn’t tidy, it will partly be our fault too that he’ll be in trouble.”

“That’s a good idea,” Namjoon agreed, but Jin shook his head, “the sooner we’re done here, the sooner we can do something fun and stop all this boring nonsense.”

“Fine, but there is no way I’m doing anything gross,” he complained, “that’s Jungkook’s job right now.”

“That’s fine with us.”

---

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angelguk · 5 years

Text

→ on my mind — jeongguk scenario pt.1

Jeon Jeongguk - BTS

word count: 8.3k

genre: domestic!au + established relationship + fluff + smut

warnings: slow build / oral sex (fem receiving) / fingering / toys / multiple orgasms / over-stimulation / breeding kink / mild choking / creampie

soundtracks: eyedi, luv highway + olivia nelson, smother me

special thanks to @gukkheaven for beta reading this. you’re an absolute gem!

Jeongguk has no idea how Namjoon is going to clean up this mess. Confetti scatters the dark wooden floorboards like leaves burying the sidewalks during autumn. Silver streamers accompany the coloured flakes of paper and he swears that there’s a glob of ice-cream somewhere on the ground because the bottom of his slipper is suspiciously wet. He instinctively wants to put everything in order, make sense of the chaos surrounding him, but it’s a futile effort that’ll only be thwarted by the hordes of children occupying his friend’s house. So he settles for the garden instead, lounging by the towering lemon tree Namjoon planted a few years ago, where he has a scenic view of Taehyung almost burning the burger patties on the grill.

“Taehyung!” Seokjin comes storming out of the glass doors, slippers slapping the ground ferociously. “What are you doing? Those look like bits of coal. Do you want the kids to lose their teeth?”

“They barely have any and I was trying to help!” Taehyung retorts defensively. Jeongguk can hear the sincerity in his voice, the conversation nearly being drowned out by Baby Shark blaring in the background. He’d quickly gotten tired of the song after the tenth time he’d heard it, but, at the children’s behest, the song had stayed on the speakers for a majority of the party. Even if it drove everyone person over the age of ten closer to the brink of insanity.

“Jeongguk!” Seokjin’s glaring at him now, seemly forgiving Taehyung’s efforts at cooking. “Are you on holiday over there?” Jeongguk can’t even get a word out of his mouth before he continues. “No? Well then get your butt here, we’ve got hungry children to feed and I won’t hesitate to offer you as the first course.”

Jeongguk moves like lightning across the lawn, reluctantly taking the spatula Seokjin shoves in his hand. The burgers are burnt but still salvageable so he gets to work before they become truly inedible and Seokjin makes true of his words.

Meanwhile, Seokjin grabs Taehyung by his collar and drags him inside, muttering under his breath. Taehyung’s bewildered face draws a chuckle out of his chest. But then they’re gone and Jeongguk is alone, manning the grill under the pleasant gaze of the late afternoon sun. He loses himself for a moment, blocking out all sounds as he flips patty after patty and then dumps them on the whole wheat buns Namjoon insisted on.

The sound of the doors sliding open once more briefly catches his attention, his eyes flickering towards the figure emerging. He suspects its Seokjin coming to berate him once more and then his eyes fall on you and Jeongguk nearly falls face first into the grill.

There’s a sea of children desperately clutching to the hem of your yellow sundress. As you step out you drag them into the garden, carefully trying not to step on their little feet. Your features look worn, yet there’s still a soft smile gracing your face and the sunlight that lingers in your eyes lights up your whole face. But his eyes aren’t drawn to that, the thing that makes his heart flip in his chest is the baby in your arms.

“Alright guys, you can play here for a bit, right?” He can hear the strain in your lilted voice but your tone is still cheery. It hurts to look away from you but if he doesn’t he’ll char the burgers. Yet, from his peripheral vision, he can tell the kids are reluctant to let you go – especially Soomi, Jimin’s oldest.

“Unni, you’ll play too?” She grasped the concept of speech faster than the rest of the kids. She’d also learned how to manipulate people’s emotions pretty fast too thanks to her good old dad and it’s evident she’s whining more than she needs to. He can hear the pout in her voice. She’s exactly like Jimin in the best and worst way.

“Hmm,” You shuffle away, gently shaking their grubby hands off your dress. “I need to get Yeseul-ie to sleep first, is that okay?”

Soomi isn’t happy, but she can’t protest against that so she nods her head then flits off with the other kids. He’s already envisioning the grass and dirt stains but then you slide up beside him, Yeseul drifting away in your arms, and shove your elbow into his rib cage.

“Aw! What the f-”

“Language,” You berate, lightly bouncing Yeseul in your arms.

He wants to snap back but he can’t. Instead, his gaze involuntarily softens and his heart slightly melts. You’ve got baby drool stains down the front of your dress and Yeseul incredibly small head is resting against your chest. He’d never realised just how much Yeseul resembled Namjoon but he can see it now, the sunshine basking upon her small features. Her eyes are exactly like his and even with her falling half asleep, it’s evident that her mouth and nose are exact copies of Namjoon’s too. But there’s something about how serene she looks in your arms, the dark tufts of hair on her head shifting with the cool breeze and the small little sighs she makes as she shifts deeper into sleep, make his heart ache with emotions he didn’t know existed until this moment.

He glances up, having abandoned cooking because his brain can’t focus on anything else but this right now, to find you gazing at Yeseul too. There’s clear adoration in your eyes and when you sway your dress flits around your figure. The sight makes him pause, eyes flickering between the two of you; paired with the distinct smell of baby floating in his nose, the ecstatic screams of children in the background and the child in your hands, his brain goes blank. And then, suddenly, it clicks.

Family.

“She’s adorable, isn’t she,” You say, cutting off the rush of images playing in his head. Because as soon as the word clicks in his head he sees everything – the little hands, the first steps, the gurgles, and small smiles, the way your tummy would swell from the bump. It’s maddening. He’d never truly thought that far – well of course he had, children would come one day, but this was an overwhelming crushing rush of emotion that was blossoming in his chest and threatening to suffocate his heart.

“Jeongguk?”

“Huh – what? Yeah, she’s cute. Looks a lot like Namjoon too.” He briefly wonders who his kids would take after. He hopes it’s you – your face is probably his favourite thing in the world to look at.

“Literally a carbon copy.” Yeseul’s sighing in your arms and Jeongguk is blatantly not looking at you anymore. “Guess I better take her back inside. Don’t burn the food, Seokjin will have your head on a stake.”

“Yeah, yeah I know, fully aware of the threats, baby.” He doesn’t want you to leave, or to take Yeseul away, but he doesn’t know how to say that without exposing the new feelings that are currently wreaking havoc in his mind.

“Hmm, okay. If the kids are still out when you’re done, bring them in.”

He hums and when you turn away his eyes trail after your retreating figure. He can’t take his eyes off you for the rest of the evening either, even when Soomi digs her fingers into Yeseul’s cake and playfully wipes vanilla cream on your face (retribution for not playing with her earlier). You grin despite the mess and he can see it already, what type of mother you’d be. It doesn’t help that literally everyone keeps shoving a child into your arms. Seokjin’s wife, Seoyeon practically dumps ten-month-old Chansook in your arms while she runs after the twins. The kids cause chaos but he’s suddenly not bothered by it anymore, not when you have that faint smile on your face (there’s a smidge of cream on your cheek) and a content sleepy baby in your arms.

For a split second, he wishes that that baby belonged to the both of you.

→

Jeongguk never realised there were so many small families roaming Seoul. He was fully aware that his best friends didn’t know what the term ‘pulling out’ meant which is why they had so many damn kids, but he’s surprised to find that more and more couples were having kids. Case in point, the quaint little cafe he was currently sitting in. He’d chosen a table relatively close to the entrance so he wouldn’t miss you but by doing that, he's also surrounded himself by parents and their kids looking for a little relief from the warm sun outside. Across from him sat a young mother who had a little baby bouncing in her arms. Jeongguk couldn’t discern the child’s face but it looked soft and squishy. Yeseul immediately came to his mind, dragging back the memory of you holding her that he had successfully repressed for one whole month. It was making his heart do funny swoops, so he grabbed his iced Americano, stuffing the straw in his mouth and tried his best to ignore her cooing.

“Is that for me?” Your voice clouds over the thoughts consuming his head. When he glances up, you’re sliding into the seat before him, conveniently blocking the other woman from his view.

“Of course it’s not, go buy your own coffee.”

You scoff, drawing the cup to your lips. “Cute. Thanks for buying this though, really needed it today.”

“Seungmin’s being a dick again isn’t he?” Jeongguk replies, eyes taking in the cotton pink dress that loosely caresses your frame. “When did you change?” He remembers you leaving this morning, black slacks and white blouse - a stark contrast to the burst of pink sitting before him.

“When is Seungmin not being a dick?” Your fingers drum against the cup. “I think it’s because I took a half day off. The thought of me relaxing physically hurts him,” You pause once more, eyes narrowed at the table below you before your brain registers what Jeongguk asked. “The dress? Carried it to work. Yoona insisted on half of us wearing pink and the other half blue. Do I look bad?”

There’s a small smile on his face when he shakes his head. “You look amazing. Leave Seungmin, his heart is bitter for no reason.”

“I don’t know. I feel kind of bad. There’s a lot going on in the office right now and a few extra hands would help everyone.”

“You feel bad for taking time off so you can go for a baby shower? Which is for your childhood friend?” Incredulity clouds his eyes. “What did Seungmin say to you?”

“Nothing,” You murmur, eyes downcast. Your fingertips are now drumming against the table. as you slowly lose yourself in your head. His warm hand that is now wrapped around your own, stops the drumming and pulls you right back to reality.

“Hey,” Jeongguk is closer than before, the side of the table pressing against his ribs. His thumb grazes against the back of your palm, eliciting a river of calm through your body. You keep your gaze trained on his, feeling awfully seen by his wide doe eyes. “There’s nothing wrong with taking this day off. It’s important to you isn’t it?” You nod because it is. Yoona was your longest friend and this was her first pregnancy, you wanted to be a part of this milestone. “So, you have every right to go,” He continues. “Seungmin is just a bitter old fuck who wants to work you to death. Forget about him. Alright?”

“Alright.”

The urge to kiss him rushes through your chest, but Jeongguk leans forward before you can even think about doing so. It’s a chaste peck but he still leaves a warm imprint of coffee and sugar on your lips. Part of you wants to pull him closer, deepening the kiss, leave his lips tinged red. But you’re in public so you shove the thought away for later. Maybe for tonight.

But you’re still smiling when he leans away, cheeks hot. How he managed to make you feel like a loopy lovesick teenage was lost on you.

“Have you bought a present?” He asks, still holding onto your hand.

“Nope. Was gonna buy it now actually. There’s a store for babies around here.”

“Cool. Wanna go? We might get stuck in traffic on the way there.”

“Yeah. I think it’s a ten-minute walk.”

Jeongguk helps you up, slipping his fingers between yours. His eyes catch a glimpse of the woman who was sitting behind you. Her child is deep asleep within her arms but she’s smiling softly at the two of you, gaze focused on your intertwined hands.

He can’t stop thinking about it during the short walk to the store. Inside, his mind slightly deteriorates because there are baby things everywhere. Its piles and piles of miniature items of clothing in every pastel colour available. There are little shirts that say silly phrases like ‘momma’s boy’ and ‘daddy’s girl’ in the front section that catches his eyes but before he can suggest you anything, you make a beeline for the onesie section, leaving him stranded and overwhelmed in the centre of the store.

“Excuse me, sir. Do you need any assistance?” The clerk who’s staring at him has a trained welcoming face but her surprise is apparent in her eyes. “Shopping for your wife?”

“Uh, no. My girlfriend-”

“Oh, your girlfriend! What exactly are you looking for? Is she here?”

“Yeah, we walked in but I just lost her. We’re looking for something for a new born? Do you can carry clothes in that size?”

“We do, follow me. We’ll find her along the way, I'm sure. Pregnant women can be fast on their feet sometimes!”

It takes him a moment for him to piece together her last sentence. “No - uh - we’re not, I am mean, she’s not p-”

“Jeongguk!” You come spinning around the corner, conveniently right before him and the clerk, a white onesie in your hands. “Come here, I found the cutest thing ever.”

The clerk’s eyes are trained on your very not pregnant belly. She looks beyond confused and the only thing Jeongguk can do is blush very hard. His head feels like it’s going to explode.

“Um,” The clerk says, carefully mulling over her words. “Some people tend to show quite late.”

“Show what?” You’re ambling towards them, the bright smile on your face fading as you take in the red tinge on your boyfriend’s ears. “What are we being shown?”

“Sorry, ma’am, I meant-”

“We’re looking for a present!” Jeongguk blurts out, ignoring the look of disdain the clerk gives him and the still confused expression sitting on your face. “For a baby shower. It should be gender neutral. Could you show us something like that?”

The clerk smooths her features, pointedly not looking at Jeongguk. She gestures to the onesie in your hands. “That’s a good choice. It’s soft and fluffy. Perfect for all genders and any new born. May I suggest getting a stuffed toy as well?”

You nod, falling in step with the clerk while Jeongguk tries to calm the heart slamming against his chest. He doesn’t know why he was so nervous, why the thought of someone assuming you were pregnant was making his palm sweat and his mind cloudy. But as he trails after your retreating figures, he’s reminded of Yeseul once more. And how beautiful you looked holding her. It’s getting harder and harder to push the thought of you, holding a child that was both his and yours, in your arms out of his mind.

“How’s this?” You shove a miniature giraffe in his arms. “You think a baby would like a giraffe?”

“Babies don’t know what animals are. I doubt they care too.” He knows he sounds like Yoongi but he really wants to leave this store. Like now.

The displeased frown you give him makes him sigh. “Fine, it’s cute. Any baby would like it.”

“Giraffe it is.”

You’re at the counter, idly chatting with another store clerk when his eyes land on them. They’re small, so very tiny, that his mind can’t comprehend how any human being could have feet that small. Fascination drives his legs towards them. In his hands, they look like a speck of dust. But they’re so soft, impossibly so, and he can already see the tiny feet that would go inside them. Those small ten little toes and those short stubby chubby legs that all babies have. And those squishy cheeks and gummy smiles.

His heart is doing weird things in his chest and he’s not sure how he feels about it.

“That’s cute.”

Jeongguk twists around to find you clutching a white gift bag, you’re eyes locked on him and curiosity sitting on your face. His heart leaps in his chest and he holds onto the booties like they’re his only lifeline.

“Yeah,” His ears are burning red and he knows it. “They are cute. Should we get them?”

You raise an eyebrow. “Sure, why not. Peach is pretty.”

He’s tight-lipped when you return to the counter. When you move to pay for the booties, Jeongguk gently pushes you aside and offers his card, a blank expression on his face but his eyes are oddly wistful. You choose not to comment, silently lacing your fingers together as you amble back to the street. You make a point to thank the clerk that assisted you on your way out, she’s staring at Jeongguk in a manner that makes you almost suspicious. But you brush it aside - it’s not like he’ll be visiting a shop like this anytime soon.

“Do you want to pass by a store and get her a card?” He says softly. The walk back to the car had been serene. Jeongguk had stayed silent, gently swinging your intertwined hands between the two of you as you ambled through the bustling city streets. The contemplative look in his eyes was a clear indicator that something was bothering him. You want to probe, figure out the problem on his mind so that you can smooth away the furrow in his eyebrows. But you know how Jeongguk is. He’ll say eventually, and it’s better to let him say it rather than forcing it out of him.

You shake your head, pulling the seat belt over your chest. “Nope. Got her one yesterday. You know the location, right?”

The car hums beneath you as he pulls out from the parking space. “Yeah, I’m good.” His wrist is draped over the steering wheel, the silver chain bracelet you gave him for your three year anniversary tapping against it. The date engraved on the silver plate at the centre of the chains stares back at you. It’s the date you first met and just the thought of it brings a smile to your face. His face is set, he’s still lost in his thoughts, but you lean over the gear stick and press a soft kiss against his cheek.

“What was that for?” There’s a discernible lift in his tone and the smile that greets you makes your heart feel too big for your chest.

“Nothing.”

He huffs. “I would kiss you back but I would like to get to our destination alive.”

“You could pull over.”

“Tempting,” He muses but his foot doesn’t ease on the gas. “Unfortunately if we do that I might not let you go to the baby shower after all.”

“Well then, I’ll cash in on that kissing offer later. Maybe tonight.”

“Whatever you want m’lady.”

The tense atmosphere that was hanging over him lifts after that, and you both fall into a steady conversation. It’s been a while since you just talked, and with the driver being nearly two hours, there’s ample opportunity for Jeongguk to tell you about all the drama wreaking havoc over his department. But, for some reason, the drive feels shorter than it actually is. When you pull up to the botanical gardens Yoona booked for her baby shower, you’re almost reluctant to get out the car.

“You have arrived at your destination,” He says in a clipped, GPS navigator voice. The engine cuts and Jeongguk twists around to the backseat to retrieve your presents. He hands them to you gently, giving you a small peck on your lips as he does so. “Looks like you can’t cash in on that offer anymore.”

“You’re stupid, never kiss me again.” But you don’t get out of the car. The stupid grin on his face keeps you planted to your seat.

“Call me when you’re done,” He states, oblivious to your hesitation. “But an hour before, so I pick you on time.”

“Don’t stress, I’ll just call an Uber. Sorry for bothering you on your day off.”

“It’s no biggie. I don’t mind being your personal chauffeur, what else is a boyfriend good for.” Jeongguk’s eyes are staring at the spectacle behind you. Yoona went all out for her first baby shower but she’s always been overly extravagant so you’re not surprised. He clearly is though. “That’s quite a baby shower.” You’re about to reply but then his eyes narrow in a manner that makes you alarmed. “Everyone…. Is everyone there pregnant?”

You turn, eyes landing on Miyeon and Gyeong who were starting to show, their bellies pushing against the loose fabric of their dress. Although they don’t compare to Yoona’s stomach. She has a bright smile on her face and the evident pregnancy glow about her. The music playing mingles with the laughter and endless chatter coming from your friends. The sound flows like a stream to your ears, propelling your hand to unlock the door.

“Yeah. Miyeon and Gyeong are in the first trimester. Or they just finished, I’m not sure. Kind of cool how they got pregnant at the same time though.”

“Yeah,” He mumbles.

You reach over, the hand not clutching onto your gifts squishing his cheeks. “See you later, baby. Drive safe okay.”

“Yeah, see you. Love you.”

Jeongguk watches you walk towards your friends, acutely aware of the fact that you looking like the only one without a child on your hip or in your womb. On the drive back, he kept mulling it over. You’d never said you wanted kids, like outright. Of course, you’d talked about starting a family, potential names, and all the stuff infatuated couples muse over. But you’d never suggested that you wanted a family. You both had boxes of condoms stored in the house and they were put to use more often than not. But you were growing old and kids had to come at some point. Right? Right.

At least that’s what he tells himself.

→

The click at the door tells him you’re home.

Jeongguk has a blanket draped over his legs, a bowl of grapes tucked against his thigh and his laptop perched on his lap. He wants to get up and hug you but the spot he’d been cemented to for hours was far more comfortable than the prospect of standing up. But he pauses his current episode of Brooklyn Nine-Nine and watches you shuffle into the living room. Your lipstick smudged and your eyes are kind of red. You keys are tossed onto the coffee table as you approach, sinking into the couch beside him.

“Are you drunk?” He asks. He doesn’t expect the reproachful look you give him.

“Who serves alcohol at a baby shower? And hello to you too.”

“No - I didn’t mean it like that. Your eyes are really red and your face looks blotchy, babe.”

“Blotchy?” You laugh. “Thanks for the compliment babe. I look like this because I was crying.”

He’s upright and holding you in an instant. “What? Why? What happened? Are you okay? Babe look at me.”

His thumb caresses your cheek and the wide fearful look of concern in his eyes makes you feel warm.

“No, not like that,” You smile but you can tell Jeongguk isn’t buying it.”Just – just Yoona. We talked a lot today and she reminded me of all the silly promises we made to each other when we were kids. They were good tears, I swear.”

“Oh.” He leans back but his fingers don’t leave your skin. “But you’re okay.”

“Very fine. Great actually. The baby shower was really nice. Still can’t believe my best friend is having a kid.” You get up from the couch, you’re face suddenly feeling very sticky from the copious amounts of makeup on your skin. “I’m gonna go shower and I can’t believe you’re watching season five without me.”

“Sorry, we can rewatch the episodes you missed now if you want.”

You shake your head. “Tomorrow maybe. I’m feeling drained.”

Jeongguk finds you burrowed in the sheets thirty minutes later. Your eyes are closed but the subtle shifting beneath the blankets is a dead give-away that you haven’t fallen asleep yet. While he’s undressing, Jeongguk can’t shake off the events of today. They run through his mind so fast that he feels dizzy. First the lady at the cafe, then the clerk at the store and of course him finding out that practically everyone but you was pregnant at the baby shower. It’s an exaggeration - only like three people were visibly pregnant - but still, it was starting to feel like everyone in the world but you were knocked up.

He slides into bed with a weight on his chest, the concept of you carrying his child sitting in his mind. You’re body slots against his and Jeongguk absentmindedly snakes his hand to your waist, resting his palm against your stomach. He’s staring hard at the dark wall, the words he wants to stay heavy on his tongue.

You beat him to it.

“Are you okay?” You can feel him ruminating behind you.

He’s silent, but you can hear the rush intake of breath and his heartbeat is wild against your back. You stay quiet too, hoping he’ll fill the empty air with his word eventually.

“I,” There’s a pause and you can tell he’s apprehensive to share what he’s feeling. “I have a question.”

“Ask away.”

“Would you have kids with me?”

The question throws you so off guard that it takes you a moment to think of a reply.

“Yeah, of course – uh – where is this coming from?”

The pad of his thumb trails against your tepid skin, tracing patterns that leave a pit in your stomach. His bare back is pressed against yours and there’s already a small warmth ebbing from your core. You’re suddenly awake and you twist around to face him. His eyes glimmer in the dark. You try to decipher the wistful look in his gaze but the wisps of his hair obscure your eyes from his.

“It’s nothing. I’m just thinking.”

“About what?”

“Us? I don’t know – I’m not really sure where I’m going with this. I just-”

“You just what?”

The blush spilling on his cheeks tinges his ears. “I don’t know - maybe - I just want to start a family.”

You blank at the thought, mind reeling from the confession that has just slipped from his lips. He senses the uncertainty that descends upon you and wishes he could take his words back.

“Now?” Your voice sounds small even too you.

“I would like too. But we can wait, or whatever you want. I’m okay with waiting. Completely fine with waiting.” The words rush out of his mouth so fast he trips over them.

“No, it’s not that. I wouldn’t mind starting a family, you’ve just never really said you wanted kids. So I’m surprised – that’s all.” You’d been together nearly five years now and he’d never explicitly stated he wanted kids. You’d just assumed they’d come later, naturally. Jeon Jeongguk asking if he can start a family with you right this instant was not something you’d ever expected.

“Guess I’ve changed my mind on that.” The nervousness from before melts away from his voice and you can hear the smile on his lips. You cuddle further into him, a weird warmth ebbing from your heart. Jeongguk holds you tighter, pressing his mouth against your forehead, a kiss that tugs a grin on your lips.

“When would you like to start trying?” You ask, revelling in his touch.

“Whenever you’re ready.”

“And if I’m ready now?” You press a kiss against his collar bone, aware of how his gaze instantly changed. He’s staring at you in a way that makes you want to squirm. The blanket suddenly feels like a furnace.

“Are you sure?”

“Very.” You lean forward, brushes his nose against yours. “But you’re going to have to do all the work. I’m kind of tired.”

Jeongguk smiles so hard that your heart feels like it’s going to combust. “I’m fine with that.” And then he leans in.

It’s a soft kiss, a gentle one where you’re both pliant and willing, moulding and sighing into each other because the day has been tiresome and neither of you have the energy to push back or nip at each other’s lips. You unravel in his arms, exhausted from having to deal with infuriating people and their opinions. But Jeongguk holds you together, keeping you safe in his arms, his chest plastered against yours. His hands' journey down your waist, landing on your hips were he gently tugs your forward, rocking his hips against yours. When you come up, you’re dizzy, slightly intoxicated from how Jeongguk always managed to make you feel things that you couldn’t put into words with his lips only.

“I love you,” He murmurs against your lips.

“I love you too.”

He rolls onto his back, dragging you onto his lap. Your hips meet instantly because you’re wearing nothing but an oversized shirt and your underwear. You don’t miss the way he twitches beneath you or the way he squeezes your hips when you lean back down for another kiss. When you pull apart, Jeongguk looks at you like you’re the only star in the universe.

You can’t help but slip your fingers through his dishevelled russet locks. He reacts instantly, pushing his head into your palm, little sighs falling from his pink lips with every scrap of your nails against his scalp. His eyes flutter shut, lashes brushing against his rose-tinged cheeks. He’s got bags under his eyes from overexerting himself at work and you wish you could kiss them away but the only thing you really can do is hold him like this. Jeongguk is putty in your hands, his own gripping at your hips like they’re his only lifeline. The way his arching, hips bucking into your own, makes him expose the expanse of his neck. You trail a finger across the veins there and his physically jolts, shifting so he can press his body further against yours. He’s half hard but you don’t roll into it, despite the faint ache building up in your core. Instead, you keep dragging your hands through across his burning skin, watching him slowly fall apart in your hands.

When you press a chaste kiss against the span of his neck, Jeongguk surges forward and moulds your crotch against his own, bucking gently against you. You can feel him hardening beneath the taut fabric of his boxers, cock brushing against your own clothed cunt, searching for some form of release.

Jeongguk’s body is hot and hard beneath your fingertips and you marvel at every dip and curve of the muscles in his chest and arms. He trails after your touch, mouth red and bruised from all the kisses you’ve given him. His lips kept pulling you in, catching the bottom of your lip between yours and slipping his tongue into your own mouth. It’s hard not to fall in love with him all over again when he’s watching you drag your fingers across his body with complete adoration in his lidded dark eyes. The gaze alone sends a jolt of desire through your core, slick slipping from your wet pussy. You keep kissing him and touching him until there’s blood rushing in your ears and you’re blatantly fucking each over your clothes. His hands roam over your own body too, searing you with each dig of his fingertips into your skin.

“As much as I love the way you look right now,” He says between pants and stolen kisses. “I kind of want to eat you out.”

You’re flipped onto your back without further ado. Jeongguk’s crowding over you, his hair swaying before his eyes as his knees force your own legs apart, making room for himself. You reach out, brushing back his hair a small smile on your face. He grins back, leaning down to press his lips against your own as his hips roll against your cunt. His boner nudges against your clit, sending fireworks shooting through every nerve in your body. Your legs fall further apart, hips canting upwards to meet his own movements. You’re panting in the dark, small sighs slipping from your lips that Jeongguk devours in harsh kisses.

He groans against your ear when you wrap your legs around his hip and grind upwards, the way his dick rubs up against your panties has a heat rising in your core. You can feel him twitching and there’s a damp stain on his boxers that matches the wetness on your own underwear.

“Fuck, babe. Stop - let me - let me go down on you.” His thrusts forward, shifting the pillows beneath your head. “Don’t make me come in my pants - please.”

You drop your legs, watching in awe as he moves down your body. Your top is tugged off so fast, the night air caressing your bare skin. Your thighs are wet with slick, sheening in the glow of the moonlight slipping through your curtains. For some reason, the idea of Jeongguk, the love of your life, fucking a baby into you was making you incredibly wet. And judging from the way his dick was straining against his boxers, it was affecting him too.

His eyes were dark as he took you in, your thighs held apart from his large hands. You can feel his fingers embedding themselves there and the thought of the marks you’ll find tomorrow was making you drip. You expected him to dive right in, the anticipation of his tongue on your cunt making you warm all over. But when you glanced down, Jeongguk was staring up at you, a different look in his eyes that you can’t decipher.

Then he moves up again, his lips landing on your neck.

“Fuck,” You moan, eyes fluttering.

His mouth was doing wonders on your skin, biting and dragging his tongue against the sensitive nerves there with finesse. He hadn’t returned his hips to yours so you were left bucking into the air, your walls clenching around nothing, a desperate need to be filled burning in your core.

He moves slow, savouring the way your whine and whimper with every drag of his tongue against your skin. He’s so hard it hurts but he can’t stop looking at the way your chest shudders as he dips further down the expanse of your skin, journeying towards the place you need him most.

Then he’s pressing a kiss to your clothed cunt and you swear you see stars. You arch into it, the curve of your stomach dipping when he tugs your underwear off. The first lick has his name falling from your mouth. It’s a kitten lick, carefully flicking against your clit. You try and squirm, attempting to direct his mouth further down but he pins you to the bed. You don’t try to use your hands to shove his head down - he’s not in the mood to follow your orders and you can tell. So you slip your hands into his hair and hope Jeongguk doesn’t make you black out from pleasure.

He opens you up slowly, tongue teasingly toying with your folds until it dips into your cunt. He gathers you onto his tongue, lips coated with your slick as he places another kiss on your cunt. You’re moaning shamelessly now, back curving when Jeongguk swirls his wet tongue around your clit. He eats you out like your life depends on it, fucking you open with his mouth until you’re fisting his hair, your toes curled and your heels digging into the mattress.

It’s maddening, how his swift quick movements have a wave of please steadily rising in your guts. You can’t think, can’t formulate any words, apart from his name that floats from your lips like a saccharine melody.

His hums against you, a smile on his wet lips. “Such a pretty pussy. And it’s all mine. Want you to come on my tongue, can you do that for me, baby?” You’re about to answer when his tongue slips back inside you and the only thing you can do is whine helplessly. He has your legs hitched over his shoulders now, lifting you up slightly so he can devour you from a better angle. And it’s working because his tongue is deep inside you, but you want him deeper - need him deeper.

It’s almost as if he can hear your thoughts because two fingers slide into your cunt just as he pulls his mouth away. You clench around them, hard, not missing the soft “fuck” that drifts from Jeongguk’s lips. The sound itself hits your core, sending another wave of pleasure through your system, more slick slipping from your wet cunt and coating his fingers.

He doesn’t neglect your clit when his fingers pound into you. It feels good. The edge is there, and you can see into behind your half-closed eyes, a hot white heat that promises to leave you boneless. But you need more.

“Another, add another finger - fuck! Jeongguk!”

“Anything you want princess.”

The stretch burns but you relish in it, hips racketing off the bed. Jeongguk’s sucking hard on your clit, his fingers pounding into your cunt. It’s good and the heat building in your core feels like it’s going to tip over any moment now. Then his fingers slam into that spot and oh – oh.

You’re coming so hard that you swear your vision vanishes for a second. Jeongguk is still licking your clit, fingers twisting inside you as your seize up, walls tight around his fingers. It's too much, too fucking much but you still can’t say anything, your mouth feeling foreign and heavy in your mouth. Your throat is hoarse, and it only dawns on you, when his pulls his fingers out from your pussy, licks them clean and rises up to give you a kiss, that you realize it was because you were screaming his name.

“God, you’re so perfect.” Another kiss. “So beautiful. Love you, love you so much.” His palm is grazing against your thigh and you shiver, suddenly aware that Jeongguk is still wearing his boxers. They’re damp and his boner is pressed against your thigh, throbbing with need. You want him in your mouth now, want to make him come as hard as he just made you.

“Love you too babe. Let me suck you off.”

He shakes his head, his hand coming down on your throat. “Not tonight. Want to see you come again.”

You groan, twitching when Jeongguk rubs his clothed cock against your still very sensitive clit. “You’re going to fuck me brainless.”

He grins. “That’s the goal babe.”

Then he’s rising from the bed, moving to your drawers. He returns with a small pink vibrator in his hands, a tame item from the collection of sex toys you’d both curated over the years. But your thighs are still shuddering from the orgasm he just coaxed out of you and you’re not sure if you can take another one just yet.

“Kiss me,” You say and Jeongguk does. It’s hot and heavy, sparking a flame in your core that you were sure had been doused out. You tug on his lip, the groan that emits from his mouth vibrating through your chest which currently feels too small for the love it’s supposed to hold. If Jeongguk wants to see you come again, you’ll give it to him. Because you’re stupidly in love with him and you can tell he’s stupidly in love with you too.

When he grazes the vibrator against your clit, you jolt, already moving to get it off because it’s too much for your fucked out brain to comprehend. But he holds you down gently, easing you into it with tender kisses to your inner thighs that leave you breathless.

Your orgasm builds up faster than the first one, the heat in your core sparking through your veins. It doesn’t help that Jeongguk tongue is lapping up your slick, coating your folds with your essence while your clit is brutally assaulted by the vibrator. He’s playing with it, pressing it directly on your sensitive bud then moving it around so that the vibrations hit you in different intensities. It’s driving you over the edge again, a wave of desire threatening to rip through you. When he holds it at an angle, the vibrations hitting your core hard, it does.

“Shit - Jeongguk, oh, oh fuck. I’m going to come. Babe, fuck!”

“Do it, princess, come for me.”

And you do, clenching around nothing because he hadn’t dipped his fingers in. You feel so empty despite the euphoria radiating through your body and you hate it. Your legs tremble around Jeongguk and you swear hard when his tongue darts forward, playing with your wet empty hole. It takes a moment for you to gather your breath but when you do you're pulling him up to you and slamming his mouth into yours. He tastes like you and you love that he does. But you would love it even more if he was deep inside you instead. Your last orgasm was great but you wanted to feel full.

“Thought you were meant to be fucking a baby into me,” You murmur, eyes infatuated with the way his lips were bruised and wet. His breath hitches at that and you know you’ve got him because his eyes darken and his boxers come off in a flash.

He’s hard, painfully so and the tip is red, dripping cum down his cock. You wish he’d let you blow him but the only thing on your agenda right now is getting fucked.

“From the back,” You ask.

“Nope, like this. Could you just bend your leg a little?” You do so, slinging your leg over his shoulder so that he has you spread open beneath. His hand grips on the leg still on the bed, holding you in place as his naked body descends upon you. It doesn’t hurt now but you can tell the position will hurt sooner than later. But judging from the harsh swear that leaves his lips when his cock grazes against your cunt, you doubt either of you will last long tonight.

You’ve gone raw before, your bare walls weren’t foreign to him, although most nights he’d slipped a condom on before fucking you. But this was different. Different because Jeongguk intended to put a baby inside you tonight - his baby. He wanted you to bear his children, wanted to make them with you. Your skin was buzzing at the thought, body a livewire that only responded to his touch. And suddenly it made sense to you, why all your friends were having kids. It hadn’t occurred to you before, but seeing a little human that both you and Jeongguk made together, living breathing evidence of your infinite love for one another, was something that you really really wanted. And the look in his eyes tells you he wants it just as much as you do.

When he slides in, your brain stops working. The stretch is familiar and welcomed, making your toes curl with ecstasy. The way he’s holding you give him room to go deeper, slipping in until you can feel him in your gut and his thighs are pressed against your own sticky ones. He’s panting in your ear, muscles tense because your pussy is warm and wet and you swallow him right up with no resistance. He can’t believe it, that you’re all for him and you’re allowing him to do this. His dick is beyond hard and when you flutter around him, a sigh escaping your mouth, he nearly comes right then. But he grits his teeth, swells down the desire that has his stomach caving in and slowly pulls out.

When he slams back into you, you scream.

It’s fast and hard. Jeongguk is fucking you like he wants to stay between your legs forever, make room for himself there, as he did in your heart. The next thrust has you swearing and whining into the heavy sex scented air. Your hands claw against his back, pulling a deep groan from Jeongguk, one that makes you squeeze around his dick. The snap against your pelvis stutters.

“Fuck!” He muffles against your sweaty skin “Baby,” His voice is hoarse and rough against your ear. “You’re going to make me come if you keep doing that.”

“Thought that was the point,” You say, giving another sharp pulse of your walls around him. You can feel him twitching against you and the whine that slips from his throat goes directly to the blazing heat in your gut.

“Not,” He sighs, “Not yet. Want to see you come again for me.”

“Again? Jeongguk-” But then you keening, slamming your hips down hard on his because he’s slipped a hand between your bodies, the pads of his thumb is cruelly circling your clit.

His mouth is against your ear and he doesn’t slow down, hips pistoning against your own as you desperately search for the release that you can taste on your tongue and see behind your eyelids.

“My beautiful baby, look at you. So fucking,” He hits at a spot that has you shuddering down on him and Jeongguk loses his breath for a moment. “So fucking perfect. Perfect for me. Want me to come inside you, fill you up?”

You nod, shaking slightly because it’s all too much and your eyes feel damp. “Please - fuck, please. Want you. Want all of you.”

He moans, his stomach quivering and his hips picking up momentum until he’s pounding you into the mattress. Your leg shouldn’t be able to take this angle yet it does because every nerve in your body is focused on the rapid bursts of pleasure hitting your system. Jeongguk can sense you’re tipping over the edge because he leans back, releasing the hold on your leg so that it falls back to the mattress. Your wrap your legs around his waist, hips canting upwards wildly because you’re almost there.

Jeongguk wraps his hand around your throat, fingers digging into the side of your neck just as they were digging into the back of your thigh as he held you up. Your brain feels fuzzy, the air from your lungs diminishing but it’s good - so good. You’re whining and gasping into the air, a surprised ah falling from your lips when his cock repeatedly slams into that spot and holy shit -

“Jeongguk!” His name leaves your mouth like a desperate prayer. You come around his dick so hard you see stars, your bones feel like they’re melting and you know you’re crying because your cheeks feel wet. It’s like he unravelled you into pieces and then moulded you right back together. Your heart swells, euphoria and love swimming through your system.

“There we go baby,” He leans in, hips still brutally pounding into you but they’re erratic now. “My baby, my princess. God, I love you.” You can tell he’s close, so you hold him, planting a kiss on his lips. His hips stutter widely, a deep groan filling your mouth and he spills himself inside. You can faintly feel it, a hot warmth that coats your walls. He holds himself there, faltering against you as his warmth breath pans your mouth.

It takes a while for you to pull yourselves apart. Jeongguk seems reluctant to leave your pussy but you gently shove him off. Your vagina feels broken and your knees are mush.

He’s beaming, pressing a steady stream of kisses to your forehead while you ruminate on whether you have the strength to take another shower. Your legs felt incredibly sticky, Jeongguk’s come and your slick staining your thighs.

“Carry me to the bathroom and clean me up?”

“Who said we were done?” His eyebrow is raised and you kind of want to smack him.

“You just screwed my brains out, let me recover.”

He’s pouting but he’s up from the bed, returning quickly with a warm cloth that he swipes across your skin until you feel like you’re somewhat clean.

“How long do you think it will take?” He asks, crawling back into bed. He tugs your body close, slinging his leg over your own and tucking your head into his chest. The palm of his hand settles against your stomach.

You sigh, feeling blissfully content. “I’m not sure. I’ll have to check my ovulating days.”

“When should try again really soon though, shouldn't we?”

“What’s your goal? To get me pregnant by the end of the week?”

“I wouldn’t mind that,” He says, dragging the pad of his thumb against your skin. “Kind of want you pregnant now if I’m being honest. I was thinking about it – when I was fucking you. You’d look really pretty pregnant. So pretty.”

You shove him in the gut, trying to hide the way your cheeks warm and your thighs twitch at the thought despite Jeongguk having screwed you senseless a mere moments ago.

“There’s tomorrow. And the next day. There’s no rush.”

“If you give me twenty minutes I can try again right now,” He offers, the smile in his voice clear in the night.

“Sleep, you caveman.”

#jungkook smut #jungkook x reader #btssmutclub #btswritingcafe #btswriterscollective #bts smut #bts x reader #jungkook fanfic

6K notes · View notes

bangtan-madi · 4 years

Text

made with love — park jimin

Pairing — Jimin x Reader

Genre — fluff

Word Count — 1.2k

Summary — It's occurred to you that dealing with a slightly hungover Park Jimin is easily compared to guiding a toddler through the cycle of grief.

Warnings — References to drinking (do so responsibly, kids, and not when you’re under aged!)

You never drink. Ever. Alcohol has never appealed to you, ever since you were young. Even before you reached the legal age to drink, you'd made up your mind that alcohol wasn't for you.

Despite your convictions, this life choice does tend to make events with your fiance and his members a bit awkward. Not because of them, far from it. It's never the boys that see this choice as odd. You're completely aware of how lucky you are; none of the boys, including your Jimin, have never pushed you to do something outside your comfort zone. They're also very protective of you and your lifestyle, constantly sticking up for both.

Besides, someone has to drive them home and deal with the various outcomes of one-too-many. You've nailed down each of their drunk personalities to a T.

The fearless leader Namjoon forgets what his inside voice is, while the Hoseok is a catastrophic lightweight that becomes a shell of his usual self. Seokjin's personality becomes multiplied several times over, while Junkook eats everything in sight. Yoongi shows his hidden sappy side, and Taehyung makes a mess of everything. Your beloved Jimin becomes, if you can believe it, even more giggly and touchy than usual. They're all so different when under the influence, but when the morning after comes, each members acts the same.

Full of regret, then of frustration, then of promises to never do it again. Every time, you see them go through the entire cycle of grief in a single morning. Denial, anger, and bargaining, all the way through depression, acceptance, and readjustment: you've seen it time and time again.

Over the years, you've come up with ways of helping them recover. It's not very often that these days happen, but when that blue moon comes, they're incredibly grateful that Jimin picked such a good person as his partner.

After all, who else would deal with them in this state, especially Jimin, who becomes a big baby while sobering up? To be honest, it makes you laugh. The way he clings to you like a child is often amusing, if it isn't downright irritating.

Last night, the story repeated itself. A celebration was innocent enough until Hoseok insisted on having a drinking contest with Jimin. At the time, you rolled your eyes, finding it laughable that the older of the two could handle himself after a single shot.

In hindsight, maybe you should have stopped it after three.

"Jimin!" you shout across the apartment, from where you are in the kitchen to the bedroom upstairs. "You're going to be late!"

Your fiance groans and rolls out of bed, quite literally out and onto the hardwood floor with a thud audible from the kitchen. You shake your head and laugh while you finish packing him a coffee and lunch to-go. He won't be able to make his own in his half-sober state. Honestly, if he can get anything done the rest of the day, you'll be impressed. While you usually press a kiss on the note you place inside the bag, saying that you made it with love, but you decide to wait and see how he behaves this morning before putting that personal touch.

A few moments later, you hear him stumble down the stairs. His gaze is shifty, and he grips the handrail like it's the only thing keeping him upright.

"Careful," you tease, glancing over your shoulder at your disheveled lover. "If you fall, I'm not taking you to the hospital."

Jimin grimaces, his unsteady feet bringing him to stand behind you. As you finish stirring the sugar into the two beverages, his arms slip around your waist and his forehead rests against your shoulder-blade. With his breath against your spine and fingers against your stomach, you almost forget that the person you adore most is barely conscious. Even in this state, the one he seeks out for comfort is always you. You have half a mind to chastise him for being careless and drinking over his known limits, but that other half wants to do nothing more than crawl back in bed with him and forget about the day ahead.

"Mmm, what happened to 'in sickness and health'?"

You hum a response as Jimin leans against you, his frame slumped against yours in a pitiful attempt to stay awake. This first state is classic denial. "We haven't made those vows yet, Chim."

"'Nd why haven't we?" he slurs tiredly. "Let's go today, jus' you n' me, jagi."

Putting the lids on the to-go thermos', you laugh and shake your head at the thought. "Both of our parents would kill us if we did that, baby."

Jimin, not amused by your response, pushes off your back and finds his way to the kitchen table. Sloppily sliding into the chair, he slumps against the table and buries his face into his folded arms. "Y'no fun."

You resist the urge to roll your eyes. "And you're moody, my love. You shouldn't have drank so much. You know Hobi is constantly trying to prove he can out-drink someone. You and Kook both fell for it."

"Busan boys're comparative," he mumbles against his arm.

"You mean 'competitive'?"

He nods once, eyes still squinting against the light as he lifts his face. "'M contemplating becoming a hermit."

"And why is that?" you chuckle, turning back to your work.

"'Cause it's 8:30, I have a hangover, and you're annoying me."

You turn back to him with an eyebrow arched, sensing a shift from denial to anger. "Have you showered?"

"No," Jimin mumbles, like a small child.

"And you're not dressed either. Go get your shower, brush your teeth and hair, and get dressed."

"If I do that, can we cuddle for 'nother half hour, pretty please?"

"Bargaining isn't going to work today, Park Jimin." You tug on his hand, but the blond refuses to move. "C'mon. Up, up."

"Too tired. I quit working today. The world's too bright n' loud out there. Not ready to face it, jagi. Don't make meee."

And there goes depression.

"For God's sake, Jimin, you're a baby." You hand him his coffee and lunch, repeating the orders. "I need to get to work, but promise me you'll at least brush your teeth before heading to the studio, yes?"

Jimin nods, thankfully shifting to acceptance faster than usual. When he peaks into the bag, his brows furrow, creating an adorable rivet between them. "No note? You didn't make this with love?"

You grab your coat and keys, heading towards the door with a playful smirk. "Nope, you're being a big baby, my love. No kiss. Not made with love. Enjoy the sandwich, I hope it tastes like despair."

Your sarcasm brings a small smile onto the sobering man's face, and one hand pushes the lunch to the side as the other runs over his face. Though you won't see the final step, you see him start to slip into readjustment and know that he'll eventually be all right.

"I hate you," he laughs.

"Do you really?"

Jimin turns and looks at you as you leave, giving you the closest thing to literal heart eyes that someone could manage. "Not one bit."

You blow a dramatic kiss as you exit. "Still not made with love, you big baby!"

"That’s fine, I’ll get my kisses later!"

274 notes · View notes

glassbangtan · 4 years

Text

stitches {kim namjoon x reader}

Words: 10.5k

Summary: People always said getting married at a young age was a mistake - could they have been right?

Genre: angst

Notes: support my writing or ask me about commissions! - masterlist

---

You would think that after 4 years of marriage, two people would have more to discuss.

The silence begs to differ. You haven’t seen Namjoon in weeks, purely for this reason - you don’t want to acknowledge the awkwardness, don’t want to sit at your - his - kitchen table and pretend nothing has ever happened between you.

But you can’t stay quiet forever. You need to collect your things at some point. You need to be a mature adult at some point. You need to face the facts at some point, no matter how painful they are.

The one thing keeping you from bursting into tears right here and now is the fact that Namjoon looks like he’s already shed enough tears for the both of you; he sits with his head bowed, staring at his fingers folded upon the table. His eyes are red and puffy, and he’s wearing his plaid pyjamas - enough to show you he hasn’t bothered with putting effort in today, enough to show you that he doesn’t believe he needs to make a lasting impression because this could very well be the last day you ever see him.

And it hurts. God, it fucking hurts, because it was only a week ago you were truly convinced Kim Namjoon was the one for you. And maybe that belief isn’t completely diminished, despite the divorce papers and the arguments; you look at him now and you don’t think of yourself as stupid or immature just because you got married at such a young age - you look at him now, and there’s a voice in your head telling you that you made the right decision, whether it worked out or not.

You inhale shakily, resisting the urge to reach out and tangle your fingers in his. “If you find anything of mine later on, you know my new address. Don’t - don’t hesitate to just send it all over. If you - if you don’t want it.”

He nods.

“And if - if you ever need anything from me, you can always call-”

“I don’t think that’s very smart.”

You bite your bottom lip; you expected that, of course. Namjoon has never been one for pretending things are okay when they’re not.

Despite this, you just need to hear him speak. “Why?”

He shrugs, messing with his bony fingers. “It’s just - like - this isn’t easy on either of us, is it?”

“Of course not.”

“So we might as well just. . . leave it as it is. I don’t want to get in another argument with you and then that’s all I can think about. I want to remember the good things, and the more we talk, the greater chance we have of tarnishing those good memories for ourselves.”

Ouch.

“So you just wanna. . . cut ties? You just want to pretend like we never happened?”

“That’s not what I said-”

“But that’s basically what you said.” You stand up; it’s not exactly fury you feel, more a heavy disappointment just below your rib cage. It will turn into a physical ache if you don’t leave now, just as it always does when you and Namjoon have an argument.

He rakes his hands through his hair, finally looking up from the table long enough to watch you scramble in your attempts to grab your stuff. “Y/N, that’s not what I-”

“I get it, Namjoon,” you say. “You wasted your entire life with me. You’ve seen your chance to get away and you’re taking it - who can blame you?”

Namjoon stands abruptly. “This isn’t a chance to get away. This is me putting both of our best interests at heart-”

“You don’t have a right to tell me what is for my best interests. Because let me tell you, getting a divorce in front of the entire world most certainly isn’t what I would class as my best interest.”

Namjoon shakes his head. “You do this all the time. You overthink everything I say and make it seem like I’m out to get you.”

“No I don’t!” You’re on the cusp of yelling. Your chest is aching. Your hands are trembling, gripping the handle of your bag; a few more paces to the left and you’ll be out of here, away from him, away from this argument - but instead you stay rooted to the floor, ready to start screaming your head off all over again. “My entire life, Namjoon, I have put up with shit from you that nobody else on the planet would have the willpower to put up with!”

His nostrils flare. “Like what?”

“Oh, I don’t know, how about constantly being in the press? How about me not being able to step foot outside of my house without people jeering stuff at me? How about me not being able to go online because there’s millions upon millions of people constantly claiming I’m using you for money, or you’re cheating on me, or I’m cheating on you-”

“I can’t control that.”

“I know you can’t, but you also can’t sit there and say I make you out to be the bad guy all the time when it’s me who’s put up with all this shit for the past eight years!”

Namjoon scoffs. He scoffs, and it sounds close enough to a laugh that a fresh wave of anger soars into your system, hitting you with the startling urge to throw something at the wall.

“Alright then, Y/N, alright,” he says. “If being part of my life bothers you that much, I don’t know why you’re still here. Them divorce papers gave you a Get out of Jail Free card, so why the fuck are you still standing in my kitchen?”

Never in your life have you heard Namjoon sound so angry. Your stomach stirs, a mix of interest and terror as you snatch your bag from the chair, turn on your heel and flee from his kitchen before any further words can be spoken.

You’re trembling. Your feet hurt with the speed at which you’re walking, trying desperately to get through your own front door before the tears start streaming, but it’s pointless - so, so pointless considering you were already crying before you’d even escaped the confines of the house you used to call your own.

It all escalated so quickly, so pointlessly, but at the end of the day, that’s how it has been for months. It’s the littlest things that set you both off, and by the end of it, those little things added up, were engraved into the divorce papers that neither of you really wanted to sign but did anyway, just to see if it would make a difference.

It did make a difference, of course. You moved house; you sleep on your own now; the media sees you as nothing more than a gold-digging whore, no matter how many statements Namjoon, BigHit and the boys of BTS put out claiming it was a mutual, respect-filled decision.

Yes, things have changed. Supposedly for the better, because at the end of the day, you’re single now, can potentially do whatever you want - but that can only be seen as a good thing when you ask for it, and you never asked for it. You never asked for a life without Namjoon. You never asked for your best friend to hate you.

---

Taehyung is nice for meeting up with you, even though he knows the inevitable backlash that will follow - mainly directed at you.

The coffee shop holds only a few customers this morning, and none of them stay long enough to pay much attention to you and the worldwide celebrity sitting in the corner. Taehyung with his beanie pulled over his head and his oversized coat, a passing glance is not enough to distinguish him as anyone important.

He stares at you as soon as you sit down, not saying hello in that cheery way you’ve grown so accustomed to in your seven years of friendship with him. You set your bag on the floor, look at him and meekly say, “How are you?”

Taehyung raises a brow. “I don’t think I’m the one that should be answering that question.” He leans forward, and it’s then you know this isn’t going to be some innocent little catch-up conversation; Taehyung most likely saw Namjoon last night and now wants all the details you can give. “What happened?”

“Can I at least order my coffee first?”

Taehyung slides his own cup towards you, folds his fingers on the table. “He was a wreck when he got to the dorms. Wouldn’t tell any of us what happened. Not even Yoongi.”

You fight off the wince that wants to fight to the surface; Namjoon hardly ever leaves his band members in the dark about anything.

“I don’t - I don’t really know what happened,” you begin, unsure whether it’s a lie or not. “We just started arguing. Namjoon said some things, I said some things-”

“I know how arguing works.”

“We just hurt each others feelings, and I ended up storming out.”

Taehyung sighs. “Again.”

“It was better than letting things get worse.” A lump forms in your throat at the thought of how things would have progressed if you hadn’t fled the scene. “He didn’t want me there in the first place.”

Taehyung perks up. “Oh yeah. Why were you at his house anyway?”

“Getting some bits and pieces I left.”

Silence. Taehyung continues to stare, like he’s waiting for another bit of a story that ended a while ago; acknowledging the fact that the house you remember picking, the house you lived in for four years, the house that holds so many memories for both you and Taehyung is now no longer a part of your life - it hurts. It makes it real. It makes all of it real.

You shrug, taking a swig of Taehyung’s coffee. “But yeah. Namjoon and I are probably just better off not communicating at all. That’s us done for good.”

Taehyung’s shoulders drop as if a boulder has fallen upon them. “You’ve got to be having a laugh.”

“Nope. Last night showed me exactly what happens when we’re in the same room together, and there’s no point putting either of us through that shit again.”

Taehyung looks baffled. A cartoon-ish type of baffled, with the knitted brows and the open mouth, leaning forward as if he’s convinced he misheard; you take a sip of your coffee, looking away as nonchalantly as you can muster with the lump in your throat.

“So how have you and the boys been?”

Taehyung slaps the table. Heads spin, you jump, salt pots rattle, but he doesn’t care.

You slosh coffee down your front. “Tae!”

“Oh, my poor little ears have heard it all!”

“Keep your voice-”

“I did not spend eight years listening to you flirt and have sex with Namjoon for you to sit here and tell me you’re not even gonna bother standing in the same room as him!”

You grab Taehyung’s hand and tug, a desperate attempt to get him to shut the fuck up.

But he barrels on, face growing redder with each word spoken. “That’s just - that’s just pure waste! Wasteful!”

“Okay, I get where you’re coming from, but-”

“I don’t really think you do, Y/N, or else you’d be apologising to me for getting me so panicked by even suggesting-”

“Alright, Tae, I’m sorry! I’m sorry. Now can you be quiet, for fuck sake?”

He inhales deeply, flipping his hand over and tangling his fingers with yours. “That wasn’t very funny.”

You slump back, glancing around nervously; thankfully, most of the people who once surrounded you have left, either to head off to work or scared off by the lunatic yelling in the corner. The only person still staring is the bartender, an elderly man who can’t stand up straight.

“You weren’t being serious, were you?”

You look across the table and shrug.

Taehyung sighs. “I understand there’s tension between you both at the moment - coming to terms with a failed relationship and all that - but I don’t think that’s a good enough reason to just. . . pretend the other one doesn’t exist. Me and the boys still want to see you - how are we gonna do that if you don’t even want to stand in the same room as Namjoon?”

You run your hands through your hair, gripping the roots tightly. “It’s not just a failed relationship, Tae - it’s a failed marriage. A marriage of four years, for gods sake. It’s a bit deeper than what you seem to think it is.”

Taehyung throws his head back and groans. “Fuck that.” He looks back at you. “The only difference is a lousy piece of paper that means fuck all in the grand scheme of things. A bit of legal stuff, sure, but that doesn’t mean anything. The only thing that matters is the fact that you and Namjoon love-”

“Loved.” You taste the lie even as you say it.

Taehyung pauses, purses his lips before barrelling on like you never even interrupted. “-love each other very much. You have done for a very long time. So where’s the logic in pretending none of it ever happened?”

You open your mouth to respond, but nothing comes out. You can’t think of a valid response, because Taehyung has once again offered you a question that does nothing but back you into a corner.

You shrug, sipping your coffee slowly.

Taehyung hums, snatching the cup out of your mouth to take a sip of his own. “That’s what I thought.”

You sigh. “It’s just awkward, though.”

“It’s only awkward if you make it awkward.”

“That’s not-”

“Why don’t you come to rehearsals tonight and have a chat with him there?”

You freeze. “I can’t.”

“Why not?”

You rack your brain for an excuse. A quick one. “Bethany and I are going to Spaniel’s tonight.”

Taehyung raises a brow. “Spaniel’s? That club that nearly got shut down last month because someone got threatened at knife point?”

You snatch the coffee back. “That’s the one.”

Taehyung hums, slowly leaning back in his chair, all the while staring at you intently. “Fair enough. Good to see you’re still getting out there.”

“Mhm!”

“Well.” His words take on a slower drawl, and you know instantly he can see right through you; he’s Kim Taehyung, for crying out loud. He’s not easily fooled, no matter how much he wants people to think he’s the opposite. “I hope you have a good time. Drink responsibly and all that.”

“I will.”

“Would you and Bethany like a lift? I know Namjoon can’t drive, but-”

You raise a hand, notice it trembling and immediately lower it beneath the table again. Taehyung’s brows knit together. “No, thank you. We’re getting a taxi, so don’t worry.”

Taehyung nods. His lack of argument is just further proof that he does not believe a single word you are saying - you decide then and there that you need to get in touch with Bethany as soon as possible to organise a night out. You would not put it past Taehyung to show up at your house just to make sure you weren’t lying.

You smile and sip your shared drink. “So, how are the boys?”

---

You only start truly regretting your decision when you’re walking into Spaniel’s.

The thing is, Taehyung was right; there’s no point locking yourself in your bedroom for the foreseeable future. You’re still young, still have an entire life ahead of you, and wasting that life because of some boy would just be stupid on your part.

But you’re also not used to this - going to a club without Namjoon, who once offered a certain sense of protection. You’ve never been big on dancing, never been big on drinking. Back in the day, you and Namjoon used to just sit at the bar and talk for hours over steady drinks that left you only the tiniest bit tipsy by the end of the night but sober enough to understand that you’d rather spend any night out with Namjoon and nobody else.

Now you have Bethany and her motley crew keeping you company, and it really doesn’t feel the same. They started on the pre-drinks before you had even arrived at Bethany’s house, and are down-right hammered by the time they get in the door of the club.

“This place is shiiiiiit,” Anthony, one of Bethany’s friends, says. “We should have gone to Monroe’s or something.”

“Monroe’s is even worse on a Wednesday night,” Bethany points out.

“Most clubs are pretty dead on a Wednesday night,” you mutter.

You don’t want to be here, but you don’t want to make that obvious, either. Prying Anthony’s arm from your own, you tell them you’re going to get yourself a drink and saunter off in the direction of the bar; you don’t really know what it feels like to be downright hammered, but at this point, if the rumours are true, you’re willing to try it.

You order your usual vodka and coke before taking a seat behind a fairly tall man, hoping his towering height will hide you from the group of people you walked in with.

The drink burns your throat on the way down, but you’re grateful for it. It’s gone in a matter of minutes, and you’re moving onto your next one.

It’s so frustrating that you feel this way, like you should be curled up in your house, wallowing in your own self pity. It’s such a shame that the mere thought of someone who once provided such comfort is now nothing more than a nightmare, a teasing thought in the back of your mind because you know for certain you can’t have him back again. You lost him once, and that’s it - your final chance has been taken from you, leaving you bare and drunk and sad, and it’s so frustrating.

You down another drink.

“Alright mate, there’s no need to rush.”

You jump, glancing to the side just as Anthony takes a seat beside you at the bar. His eyes are bloodshot now, black hair dangling in his face soaked in sweat that certainly wasn’t there thirty minutes ago. Leaning forward a little bit, you’re able to latch onto the pungent smell of weed wafting from his clothes. Immediately you crane your neck in an attempt to catch sight of Bethany; you would not put it past her to be high out of her head right now, and you care about her too much to let her wander around the club on her own in such a state.

Anthony leans to the side, blocking your view. “You feeling alright, love?”

You pull back, scowling. “I’m fine. Where’s Beth?”

“She’s with Joshua,” Anthony replies like that answers your question at all. “It’s just you and me now, I think.”

You turn back to the bar. “I’m not interested.”

“Not interested in what?” He slumps forward, knocking his elbow with yours. “You just looked a little lonely and I thought you would appreciate some company.”

It would be so easy right now to just tell him to leave you alone; you don’t want the company, you don’t appreciate it at all, you want to go home - but the better half of you pushes to the surface before anything else. You give Anthony a small smile.

“Thanks.”

He grins right back, settling down on his chair. “So how come you’re here all on your own then?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well.” He tilts his head back, stares up at the ceiling with eyes unfocused. “It just seems a little. . . bizarre to me that someone as pretty as you would be sat here on your own. No boyfriend? Girlfriend? Significant other of any kind?”

“Well, I have-” Your heart lurches into your throat and you catch yourself before the words can get much further forward. Anthony notices the sudden hitch in your speech, raises a brow and leans forward in an attempt to catch your eye, but you’re quick to look away and take yet another sip of your vodka and coke - it won’t be long until you can’t see straight. “Nope. I’m single.”

Anthony hums. “Weird.”

“Is it really?”

“Well, I think it’s weird, but that might just be because you’re the prettiest person I’ve seen tonight.”

His flirting doesn’t flatter you in any way. You glance at him through the corner of your eye, trying for another friendly little smile, but it fails and you instead take another drink to hide your distaste; comments like that don’t sound right when they’re coming from someone who doesn’t even know you.

Now, Namjoon on the other hand - he knew you better than anyone. He knew you better than you knew yourself. He would say things like that to you and you’d genuinely believe them, because if there was anyone in the world who knew the truth about you, it was him.

This guy has been in your presence for a grand total of twenty minutes and he’s only saying all this stuff because he’s drunk and high and horny.

“Do you have many hook-up’s, Y/N?” he asks suddenly, taking a sip of his own drink.

Your head snaps round. “Why would you ask that?”

“I was just wondering,” he replies, smirking into his glass. “You seem like a good egg. I can’t imagine you falling into anyone’s bed by accident.”

“By accident?”

“Unless, of course,” he continues, “you want a little bit of fun tonight.”

The anger claws its way into your system, but before you can say anything to hurt this guys feelings, another voice echoes out from behind you.

“Y/N! There you are!”

You whirl around just as Taehyung wraps a heavy arm round your shoulders, tugging you into his side. You gasp, surprised, but Taehyung barrels on before you can say anything to make Anthony believe you had no idea Taehyung would be here in the first place.

“Who’s this then?” he asks, motioning to Anthony who sits with knitted brows and pursed lips.

“Uhhh…”

“I’m Anthony.” He reaches forward for a hand shake. Taehyung stares at it a moment before slowly taking the offered hand.

“You two friends?”

“He’s friends with Bethany,” you reply quickly, before spinning in your seat and pushing Taehyung back, stumbling up after him. “Do you mind coming with me to the smoking area?”

Taehyung giggles. “You don’t smoke-”

“Be right back, Anthony!”

“Will we?” Taehyung asks once you’ve finally managed to push him through the crowd towards the back doors.

“Of course not,” you hiss, shoving him into the open air where he finally bursts out laughing. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing? You’re meant to be at rehearsals!”

“The good thing about being your managers best friend is that he lets you reschedule important meetings,” says Taehyung. “The whole group.”

You glare at him, even though you knew this would be the case from the moment Taehyung’s voice rang out behind you only minutes before; your stomach does a flip, one that you recognise as dread but wish was something else. Excitement, maybe.

Taehyung continues to grin, but it’s easy for him. He’s not the one who has to deal with the awkwardness. He’s not the one who’s just had their night completely ruined.

“You’re an asshole,” you spit.

He shrugs. “I’m not trying to set you two up - if you’re happier on your own-”

You glare at him, because he knows full well you’re not.

“-then I’m gonna respect that. But I couldn’t just go to the club and not bring Namjoon, you know? That wouldn’t be very nice of me.”

“Oh, God forbid you’re not very nice.”

He nods solemnly. “I know. I know. Now, can we go back inside? It’s fucking freezing.”

He doesn’t give you a chance to respond, merely turns on his heel and starts back towards the club. You suck it up - you have to, because at some point, people are going to forget you and Namjoon ever existed and this fear you have developed will be seen as nothing more than stupid and irrational. You might as well start making the progress now.

The club suddenly seems ten times more crowded than it did when you first walked in; people are dancing, drinking, singing at the top of their lungs, and you can hear every word, feel every limb as you shove your way through the thickening crowd. Taehyung is taller than a lot of the inhabitants, and with his good looks and glowing smile, most people move out of the way when they see him walking towards them; it’s not too difficult to keep up with him.

But then you see Namjoon, and you don’t really understand why you’re following Tae in the first place.

“Oh, God,” you whisper. Taehyung glances at you, tries for a comforting smile, but the look on your face must be something else, something not even Taehyung can try and settle. Instead he reaches back, grabs your hand and pulls you forward, more to keep you from sprinting out of the club than to give you any type of comfort.

Because Namjoon looks so good, as he always does, and you remember nights like this when the other boys would force the two of you from the comfort of Namjoon’s studio, or the comfort of your shared home, and the two of you would just waltz around the dance floor, lost in each other and nobody else. It feels wrong to be in his presence in a situation like this and not have that kind of connection, and when he turns and meets your eyes, it’s obvious from the sudden drop of his smile that he feels the exact same way.

“There you are!” Jungkook exclaims, bursting out from behind Namjoon and giving Taehyung a hug. “We were wondering where you’d run off to!”

“I was collecting a friend,” Taehyung replies, dragging you forward. The other boys turn, grinning as soon as they lay eyes on you. You are bombarded with hugs and incoherent yelling, questions you can’t answer because they pile on top of one another with little to no gaps in between.

“Hi,” is all you can manage to squeak out.

The boys continue talking over one another, but you zone out. Namjoon stands a little bit behind everyone else, hands tucked into the back pockets of his jeans, his eyes drawn to the floor as he waits for a change of topic - a topic that doesn’t involve you. His black hair hangs over his eyes, and you want nothing more than to reach forward and brush it out of his face, just like you used to do, but you don’t. You instead keep your hands knotted at your sides, smiling and nodding to whatever nonsense the six other boys are spewing at you.

“Right!” Seokjin suddenly exclaims, clapping his hands. “I’ll grab the first round of drinks. What does everyone want?”

Orders are tossed left right and centre, and somehow, Seokjin picks up on them all. You offer to go with him to help carry the tray, and it’s only by the grace of god and Seokjin’s obliviousness that he agrees and lets you break away from the other boys. You follow him up to the bar and wait for him to order.

“I can’t believe you’re here,” he says as the two of you wait. “What a coincidence! I haven’t seen you in ages!”

“I know,” you reply. “I came here with Bethany.”

Seokjin nods, even though he has no idea who Bethany is. “It’s good to hear you haven’t been isolating yourself - Namjoon’s been a right pain in the ass to get out of the house recently.”

You freeze. “Has he?”

Seokjin hums, messing idly with a paper straw he found discarded on the counter. “He’s been in a right mood. Obviously, like, we can’t blame him - he’s been going through a lot recently.” He flicks a glance at you. “You both have, huh?”

You shrug. You don’t have to lie if you say nothing at all.

Seokjin turns back to the bar. “But yeah, he just hasn’t been handling it very well. Hasn’t been handling himself very well.” He shrugs. “I suppose if you’ve been spending your entire life with somebody else, it’s kind of difficult to get back into the swing of doing things on your own, you know?”

You do know. You know far too well.

You nod slowly, biting your lower lip to stop the tears that suddenly want to make an appearance; you’re too drunk for this. You should be at home, not stuck in a club trying to avoid your ex-husband.

The drinks are passed across the bar once they have all been made. You reach out to grab the tray, but a voice by your ear startles you before you can pick them up.

“Where did you go off to?”

Both you and Seokjin whirl around at the same time. Seokjin grins when he sees Anthony standing by your shoulder, though Anthony does not repay him with the same level of courtesy.

“Who’s this?” Seokjin asks, already reaching out a hand in greeting.

Anthony scowls at him. “I’m Y/N’s friend. Who are you?”

“Oh, me too,” Seokjin replies. “Do you want a drink? You can have mine if you like vodka and-”

“I’m just here to retrieve Y/N.”

You pause, certain you must have misheard. Even Seokjin, forever the man to stay calm in moments like this, freezes with his hand hovering over the top of his drink.

Together, you both say, “Huh?”

“Well, Y/N came in with us,” Anthony says. “I don’t like the idea of walking around with someone I don’t know - especially when she’s slightly drunk.”

“I’m not-”

Anthony grabs your arm. “Let’s go.”

Seokjin grabs your other arm. “I don’t - uh - I don’t think that’s too good of an idea.”

“And why is that?” Anthony gives Seokjin a smile, warm and welcoming, but it’s the flash of anger in his bloodshot eyes that convinces you he doesn’t mean any of these niceties he’s trying to present. You quickly snap your arm from his grip, stumbling into Seokjin’s chest.

Anthony looks at you, tilts his head. “Y/N-”

“I’m going with Seokjin,” you reply. “Tell Beth I’ll call her when I get home.”

Anthony opens his mouth to respond, but you don’t stick around to hear what he has to say, certain it will be nothing more than a drug-induced attempt to get you to stay. Instead, you turn on your heel, grab Seokjin’s hand and drag him back through the crowd, Seokjin fumbling with the tray of drinks as he tries to keep up with you.

“Who was that guy?” he asks, glancing over his shoulder in bewilderment.

You tug on his hand, a silent plea to just ignore Anthony, who has now taken to yelling across the dance floor at you. “He’s friends with Bethany - they’re room mates or something. I don’t really know.”

“He’s frightening,” Seokjin says. “Did he hurt you?”

“No. He’s just high. You watch, I’ll have an apology text tomorrow morning.”

Seokjin snickers as the two of you finally arrive at the table one of the other boys managed to dig out. Seokjin sets the tray down and hoists himself onto the bench beside Namjoon, who is purposefully and oh-so-obviously trying to avoid your gaze.

At this point, you don’t even care; perhaps the alcohol has settled in your system at long last, leaving you slightly tipsy despite still being far too connected to reality. You’re still overly aware of Namjoon’s presence, but in the grand scheme of things, that’s just because he’s Namjoon. Around you, girls and boys continue to glance at him over their shoulders, whisper amongst themselves, pointing in a way that makes you want to wrap your arm around his just to tell them he’s mine.

But you aren’t his anymore, so you occupy your hands by grabbing a drink from the tray and turning to talk to Yoongi, who is busy tapping away at his cell phone.

As the night draws on, you become looser, more willing to have a good time than you were before. You and Hoseok have a dance battle that everybody laughs at, claiming you won despite the obvious winner being Hoseok himself. The bartender asks for your number, but Taehyung cuts in and says you don’t have a phone, and the bartender is too intimidated by Taehyung’s grand height to argue; you don’t even care. Taking another sip of your drink, you grin and thank Tae for a reason you are unsure of.

And the entire time, Namjoon keeps his distance.

It’s as the night starts drawing to a close that things start getting blurry; out of the seven boys you’ve been spending time with, three are left in your presence by the time midnight rolls around. Taehyung, Yoongi and Namjoon gather round the table as you stand beside them, too angsty to sit, too drunk not to make your presence known. You sip your drink as the boys talk, idly swaying your hips back and forth, not really paying attention to what they’re saying…

“Don’t you think it’s getting a little late?”

If it was anybody else, you could have convinced yourself not to turn around. But Namjoon’s voice has some kind of appeal to it that has you spinning, nearly sloshing your drink over yourself at the speed of which you do so. You half-expect him to be looking elsewhere, keeping to the pattern of the night of completely ignoring you, but this time, he’s staring right at you, one eyebrow raised.

You stare right back.”Huh?”

“Oh, come on, Namjoon,” Yoongi scoffs, not taking his eyes off his phone. “It’s only midnight.”

“I know, but Y/N doesn’t like staying out late, and-”

“I love staying out late!” Your voice is shrill, much louder than you originally intended, but you’re too far gone now to change that. “Now that I don’t have anyone to come home to, staying out late is my forte!”

Taehyung spins, eyes wide, face paling. “Where the fuck did that come from?”

You keep your eyes on Namjoon, watching his expression shift from genuine concern to anger. His teeth grit, fingers curling into fists upon the table.

“Oh,” says Namjoon slowly. “Is that right?”

“Mhm.” You sip your drink, wrap an arm around Yoongi’s shoulders. He looks up, startled, from his iPhone, cheeks growing red as he glances uncertainly from you to Namjoon and back again. “It’s like this sense of freedom, you know? Unlike anything I’ve ever felt before. I believe it’s called being single? Really great.”

“Yeah, I’ve heard it’s pretty good,” Namjoon mutters.

“Okay!” Taehyung exclaims, sharing a concerned look with Yoongi. “I think Y/N’s had a bit too much to-”

“No, no,” Namjoon cuts in. Taehyung and Yoongi close their eyes in exasperation, but you keep your gaze firm on Namjoon, who keeps his firm on you. “Y/N wants to stay out late, then she should stay out.”

“And who knows? Maybe I’ll get lucky!”

Namjoon’s scowl deepens. “Maybe.”

His indifference just makes you angrier; he should be yelling, telling you to stop teasing him, saying he misses you and that this divorce is the worst decision he’s ever made…

But he isn’t.

He’s sat in that stupid chair with his stupid half-drunk drink, and he’s scowling at you but he’s not doing anything to put a stop to whatever you’re saying because at this point, you don’t even know what it is you’re trying to say.

“Do you think Anthony needs someone to go home with?” you continue, tightening your hold on Yoongi.

“Anthony?” Namjoon suddenly bursts, the first sign of proper anger he’s shown tonight. “The drug addict?”

“He smokes a little weed every now and then.” You wave a dismissive hand at your ex-husband. “You just never liked him because he’s not willing to settle down with anyone - he’s living his life. He’s doing what people our age should be doing.”

Namjoon’s guard cracks.

Taehyung reaches for his arm, but it’s really no use - Namjoon is taller, broader, angrier, and he barrels past the table before you can do so much as blink. His fingers are wrapped around your upper arm in seconds, a feather light touch that does not equal the stormy expression on his face. You squeal dramatically, stumbling into him as he drags you away from the table.

“What are you gonna do to me?” you demand.

Namjoon scowls, says something to Taehyung and Yoongi before he’s dragging you out of the club.

“Get off me!” you exclaim, though you make no attempt to shake yourself from his grip; even in your overly-intoxicated state, the feel of Namjoon’s fingers on your skin - after so long - is like sipping water after months in the desert.

The two of you walk outside. Once you pass the exit doors, Namjoon lowers his hands to your waist, spins you around so you’re facing him and says, “What’s the matter with you?”

You’re taken aback. You stare at him, eyebrow raised.

He tilts his head. “You’re drunk. You hate getting drunk.”

“You have no idea what I hate,” you shoot back. “You don’t know anything about me anymore, Namjoon!”

He rolls his eyes. “Oh, give me a break. We’ve been broken up for two weeks!”

“And you don’t think I’ve changed in them two weeks?”

“Well, apparently you’re a lot more fucking stupid-”

“Oh, go to hell, Namjoon. So what if I had a drink? Not all of us want to be stuck-up little piss-babies like you!”

He scoffs, closing his eyes. “Is that your idea of an insult now?”

You wriggle out of his grip, even though it takes every fibre of your being, even though you want nothing more than to stay locked in his embrace forever. “I’ll do what I want, okay? And tonight, I want to go home with Anthony.”

“You’re gonna regret it in the morning.”

“I’ll deal with that in the morning.”

You spin on your heel, starting towards the door back into the club, but you only manage two steps forward before Namjoon has grabbed your wrist and is tugging you back; you’re ready to throw a hissy fit, a genuine, toddler tantrum if he doesn’t let you go, because looking into his eyes right now is hurting you so, so badly, and-

“Come home with me instead.”

You stumble, certain you’ve heard him wrong. Even through your drunken haze, you can’t bring yourself to believe he has truly said what he’s just said.

“What?”

“Just so I know you’re safe,” he mumbles, as if embarrassed to be admitting such a thing. “I’ll sleep on the sofa, you can take the bed. But I don’t like the idea of you going home on your own when you’re in this state.”

You stare at him; is he pitying you? Is that what this is? You can’t put your finger on it, but your heart is thumping at a million miles per hour, and your drunken brain is seeing this invitation as nothing more than an opportunity, a chance to spend one last night with him, whether it be completely platonic or not.

“Okay,” you croak out. “That sounds. . . Yeah. That sounds like a plan.”

Namjoon nods, once and certain, before he turns and starts walking back towards the car park.

----

The house hasn’t changed, and maybe that’s the worst part.

There’s still evidence of you once living here, and that bothers you. It irks you that Namjoon can sit amongst photographs and things that once belonged to you and not completely break down. Stood on the mantelpiece is a picture you and him took a few years back, still framed in the same old brown frame that you planned on replacing ages ago, but never got round to. One of your hair ties is still on the coffee table. A pair of shoes you grew out of are still tossed in the shoe basket by the front door.

He hasn’t touched a thing.

You swallow the thick lump forming in your throat, stumbling through the door. Namjoon goes to catch you, but you flinch out of his grip before his fingers can make contact, suddenly much too afraid of what is happening; you’re meant to be getting over him, for crying out loud. Yet here you are, walking into this house with this man with not a thought racing through your head.

“Let me get you a glass of water,” he says, keeping a loose eye on you even as he walks into the kitchen. You sit down on the sofa, cover your face with your hands and inhale deeply; this is going to be a mighty long night if you don’t get your head on straight.

Namjoon returns a few minutes later. He places the pint of water on the coffee table before sitting down beside you; his hands hang awkwardly between his knees as he continually shoots glances in your direction. Neither of you know what to do, or what to say. Do you even bring up what happened tonight? Do you apologise? Do you ask him why he even cared so much in the first place?

You do none of those things, instead choosing to bask in the silence. Your heart is thumping in your chest, the alcohol still pumping through your veins; you know you messed up somehow tonight, but you’re becoming too exhausted to really care about it.

Namjoon is the first to speak. “How are you feeling?”

“Good. Tired.”

“I’ll go set up the bed.” He starts to stand, but you grab his wrist before he can get very far. He pauses midway, glancing back at you. “You alright?”

“I’ll take the sofa.”

He raises a brow as if the mere idea of you sleeping on the sofa is ludicrous. “Don’t be an idiot.” He shakes his hand out of your grip. “Stay here and drink your water. I’ll be back in five.”

“Namjoon, I’m serious.”

“So am I.” And then he disappears around the corner, leaving you in the living room all on your own.

You take this moment of alone-time to wander the place that used to be yours. With your pint of water in hand, you slowly walk around the living room, glancing at old pictures and smiling at old memories - all of which he has kept, and not just placed subtly around the room; they’re at the forefront. To the untrained eye, it would look like you never even left in the first place.

Again, it bothers you that he can sit in here so casually. Back at your place, all pictures of you and Namjoon have been shut tightly in cardboard boxes and shoved into the roof space - not out of spite, but because seeing them everyday and remembering a time better than your own would be a form of torture.

You care too much. Maybe Namjoon doesn’t.

You trail a hand along the outside of a white picture frame, the inside containing a photo of the two of you backstage at the Grammys. This was the very day Namjoon and the boys won their first Grammy award; in the picture, Namjoon is sweaty with his shirt unbuttoned just a bit, and you look glamorous and happy with your arm around his waist and the biggest smile on your face, tears continuously flowing down your cheeks even as the picture is being taken.

“I can take them down if you want.”

You jump, spinning around just as Namjoon steps out from the darkness of the hallway.

“If you don’t want to look at them, I mean,” he clarifies upon seeing your puzzled expression.

You wave a dismissive hand. “No, it’s okay.” You turn back to the photo. “Remember this?”

“How could I forget? It was one of the best nights of my life.”

“I know. Though I’m surprised you remember it with the amount you and the boys drank at the after party.”

Namjoon scoffs, coming up behind you to get a better look at the photo. “I didn’t drink that much.”

“I basically had to carry you home.”

“You didn’t have to do anything.”

“So, what? You just expected me to leave you there?”

Namjoon shrugs, picking the frame up to get a better look at the picture. You watch his eyes soften, grip tightening just that little bit; you know exactly what he is seeing, because it was only seconds before that you were seeing the exact same thing. A happily married couple with not a care in the world, a love so strong and so ever-lasting that - at the time - it seemed impossible to break. You’re all smiles and hands-around-waists and dreamy gazes being sent across the room; it was such a perfect day.

You wonder how anything could have broken you both after that day.

Namjoon coughs and hastily sets the picture back down on the mantelpiece. “The beds set up for you.”

You nod, because you don’t know what else to do; do you thank him? Do you argue with him again? In truth, you don’t even want the bed - the idea of sleeping upon the same mattress you and Namjoon used to sleep on together is just taunting, and you would much rather sleep on the sofa anyway.

But Namjoon doesn’t seem to be taking that as a suggestion. He wades across the room and throws himself down onto the sofa, placing one hand behind his head and closing his eyes, even as you stand over him, waiting for the conversation to move onto something you both know needs to be discussed.

Upon hearing no signs of you leaving the room, Namjoon cracks open an eye and looks up at you. “You alright?”

“You ask that an awful lot.”

“Yeah, well, it’s polite.”

You glare. “I’m fine. Just. . . Are you sure you don’t want the bed?”

He closes his eyes in response.

You groan loud enough for him to hear. He simply smirks - the bastard - and that is enough to have you cracking. You throw a pillow at him before marching upstairs and into the master bedroom - the master bedroom which still looks the exact same as when you last stood within it. The double bed with the checkered quilt cover, the bedside table with the broken lamp, the window with the curtains that are never closed, but which you now yank closed because the sun will be most excruciating tomorrow.

You throw yourself down on the bed. The scent of Namjoon explodes within your senses.

You start crying.

It might be the alcohol. It might be the memories. It might be the fact that you’re so young and already have one divorce under your belt, a divorce from the man you thought you would spend the rest of your life with, a divorce from the man you want to spend the rest of your life with. You’re in his house, and he’s downstairs on the sofa, refusing to let you sleep in such an uncomfortable space; why would you not want to spend the rest of your life with someone like that?

You pull your shirt off over your head, kick your jeans off and slip under the covers without replacing them with anything; you’re too tired, too emotional to really care about the consequences of such an idea.

It’s not like Namjoon hasn’t seen everything anyway.

----

You are woken by the sound of rustling in the corner of the room.

It doesn’t strike you as anything odd for a moment; you’re groggy, comfortable, can already feel the beginnings of a headache fighting to the surface. At this moment in time, you would gladly let a thief rummage through the wardrobe if it meant they left you alone to sleep.

However, as human nature entails, curiosity gets the better of you. Your eyes creak open slowly, head popping up inches from the pillow just enough to see Namjoon kneeling on the floor, rummaging through the chest of drawers.

“Morning,” you say.

Namjoon looks up and smiles. His eyes drift down a little bit, but he gives no reaction to your bare chest, and you can’t think of why he would; this used to be the state he saw you in every morning, and so you make no attempts to cover up as you sit up and watch his investigation.

“What you doing?”

“Looking for clothes,” he replies. “Do you want to borrow anything for today?”

“Yes, please.” You crane your neck as if getting a better look at the drawers. “Can I steal that grey hoodie you have?”

Namjoon sends you a glare. “That’s my favourite hoodie. And it’s always massive on you - you could wear it as a dress, for crying out loud.”

You simply pout. Namjoon rolls his eyes, digs a little deeper in his pile of clothes before he pulls out the grey hoodie in question and launches it at you.

“There.”

You grin. “Thank you!” You don’t slip it on, though, instead choosing to fiddle with the familiar sleeves whilst staring at Namjoon’s morning physique for a little while longer.

Finally, he sighs and slumps back on his heels. “I really need to reorganise this entire thing.”

“When do you ever have that kind of time, Namjoon?”

“I know. I’ll just have to do it when I get home from work one day.”

You scoff. “You’re exhausted when you get home from work.” You stand, dragging the hoodie with you but still not putting it on; when Namjoon looks up, again, he barely even registers that you’re currently topless. This is a sight he has seen plenty of times. “You get yourself off to work. I’ll reorganise everything while you’re away.”

You kneel down next to him and shove his shoulder, an attempt to get him out of the way though he’s quick to catch himself, refusing to move. “I can’t ask you to do that.”

“You didn’t ask. I offered.” You tap your watch-less wrist. “Now get going or you’re gonna be late.”

Namjoon stares at you for a moment longer, and it makes your stomach flip; only two weeks ago this would be the moment he leans in and kisses you, tells you he loves you. Now, however, he simply bites his lip, nods his thanks and exits the master bedroom.

You’re too groggy to think too deeply into it; you’re still tired, and you’re cold, but you’ve got a task to do that will hopefully get your mind off it all. You spend the day marching around your - Namjoon’s - bedroom, finding clothes in the most random of places, subconsciously looking out for clothes that may signify somebody else has been staying the night.

But there is none, and by the time nine o clock rolls around, you have the entire house back to full organisation, and not a single one of your feelings have been shattered. You would call that a day well spent in comparison to the horrible few weeks you’ve been having recently.

You slump back on the sofa and turn the TV on, pulling your knees into the oversized hoodie you’re wearing; Namjoon used to always tell you off for this, never appreciating the way you stretched his already four-sizes-too-big hoodie. But in the same breath, he never stopped you, knowing it was a habit you had gotten into when you were younger.

Namjoon returns at quarter past nine, carrying a bag of takeout. You glance over your shoulder, give him a smile that he quickly returns as he struggles to kick the door closed behind him. You giggle, standing up to help him, though you end up doing nothing more than trailing him into the kitchen.

“I was hoping you were still here,” he says, setting the takeout bags on the counter. “I got your favourite from the Chinese.”

You peek into the bag and grin. “Sweet and sour!”

“Of course. Grab a plate, will you?”

You do just that. “How was work?”

“It was alright,” he replies, sucking a bit of honey from his finger. “Yoongi and I are working on a song, but it’s proving to be a bit of a pain, I won’t lie.”

You furrow your brows, setting the plates on the counter before leaning forward to catch Namjoon’s eye. “Why? What’s wrong with it?”

“Nothing’s wrong with the song. Yoongi knows exactly what he wants for it, but my head just. . . hasn’t been in the right place.” Your stomach drops, but Namjoon doesn’t seem to notice the implications of his words as he continues bustling about in search of napkins, pint glasses, knives and forks. “They always give you so much. How am I meant to dish it out if-”

“Have you been alright?”

Namjoon pauses, thumb halfway to his mouth. “Huh?”

You grab his hand, taking the fork from his fingers and setting it down. “I’ve never known you to have trouble with something like that. Are you alright?”

“I - what - I mean-” He flicks a desperate gaze towards the living room, as if there is someone standing there that can help him out of this awkward situation. You don’t let it drop that easily, though, as you lean into his line of sight and raise a brow.

“Well?”

He deflates. “We just got divorced, Y/N. No, I haven’t been alright.”

And even though you knew - even hoped - that was the answer, it still makes your heart crumble. You stare at him, biting your lower lip as he shrugs as if to say ah well, what can you do? and turns back to dishing out the food. He starts humming to himself, dropping the subject as quick as it was brought up.

But you’re not that easy; even after he hands you your meal and leads you back into the living room, his words play on a continuous loop in your head. You flick glances at him, spirits lifting every time you see him laugh at something on the TV, dropping again when you remember what he’s just told you.

It’s so weird that only a few days ago the two of you were screaming bloody murder at each other. It’s so weird that only a few weeks ago you were scribbling your signature down on a set of divorce papers. It’s so weird that only a few weeks ago, you were convinced you had fallen out of love with him.

But god, how can that be true when the mention of his hardships make you feel this way, like they’re your own, like you should be the one comforting him when he gets home from work?

After dinner has been eaten, you offer to wash the dishes. Namjoon gives you a look as if to say are you crazy? and doesn’t even reply before he’s taking your plate from your lap and heading into the kitchen on his own. You clasp your hands in front of you, watching him leave, your stomach turning with the uncertainty of this entire thing - you want him to feel the same way. With everything in you, you want him to feel the same regret you currently feel at the signing of those papers.

But what are the chances?

You close your eyes, slump back on the sofa and wait for him to return. You used to talk to Namjoon about everything. He knows every single one of your deep, dark secrets - it won’t be difficult to just ask him how he’s feeling. Hell, that used to be something you did all the time, on a daily-

Your phone rings.

You jump, grabbing it and looking at the caller ID. Scribbled across the top of your phone is the name ‘ANTHONY.’

“Him?”

Your head snaps up. Standing above you is Namjoon, a prawn cracker in his hand and a scowl on his face.

“What the fuck is he ringing you for?”

You quickly click cancel, shoving your phone back on the coffee table. “He’s probably just ringing to make sure I got home alright. Are there any more prawn crackers?”

Namjoon grunts, throwing the bag of prawn crackers onto your stomach before taking a seat on the sofa - the sofa opposite you, whereas once before he was quite content sitting right beside you.

You stare at him, open mouthed. “Are you being serious?”

He doesn’t look away from the TV. “What? I didn’t say anything.”

“Are you huffing?”

“Huffing? What would I be-”

“Namjoon, I don’t like Anthony like that. Hell, I barely like him as a friend. You know that!”

Namjoon furrows his brows, taking a furious bite of his prawn cracker. “How am I meant to know that when you were talking about fucking him yesterday?”

You freeze. “Oh, Namjoon…”

Namjoon scoffs, head snapping round. “Yeah, I remember. You two were getting pretty fucking cosy last night.”

“I was drunk!”

“I don’t care!”

“Well clearly you do if you’re getting this worked up about it-”

“I’m not worked up.”

“Oh, really? How red your face is getting begs to fucking differ.”

Namjoon stands. “I’m going to bed.”

“Oh, so you want the bed tonight, yeah? Shall I take the sofa?”

“Do you want to change the storage room into a guest bedroom so you can invite Anthony over, too?”

“I don’t even-”

You pause, having just realised what has just been said - neither of you acknowledged the fact that you could easily just go back to your own home if you didn’t want to sleep in the same house as Namjoon. Neither of you wanted to admit the fact that this house is no longer yours, that you can leave of your own free will if you so choose.

Namjoon purses his lips and looks away. “Or you could go back - go back to your house…”

“Do you want me to go back to my house?”

“No.”

“Do you want me to stay here?”

“Yes.”

“Do you want me to sleep on the sofa?”

A pause, and then, “Not really.”

You close your eyes. “Namjoon, what are we doing?”

He falls onto the sofa next to you, dipping his head in his hands. “I don’t know. It’s been driving me mental, though.”

“Me too.”

You sit in silence for a few minutes, neither of you sure where to go from here; it’s been two weeks of constant pain and heartbreak, two weeks that could have been avoided if you’d just done this - sat and talked about it all before things got worse.

“What is going on between you and Anthony?”

You groan. “You know full well I wouldn’t touch Anthony with an eight foot pole.”

“So why did you say-”

“I was trying to make you jealous, Namjoon,” you burst. “It’s not my fault you have every single girl’s eyes on you when you walk anywhere. If you wanted to move on from me, you could have easily done so - I took the first bit of attention I was getting and jumped on it.”

Namjoon pauses. “Right, but if I could have moved on from you so easily, why haven’t I?”

“Because you’re sweet and-”

“Because I love you.”

You grit your teeth, digging your nails into the sofa cushion; you’re going to cry. You can feel the tears rushing to the surface, either from relief or terror that this is just another step in the wrong direction. You didn’t get a divorce for no reason - back then, it was the right decision to make, so what could have possibly changed now?

“Namjoon, please don’t say that.”

His shoulders slump forward. “Okay.”

And maybe it’s how deflated he sounds, how tired he sounds that makes you do it. Maybe it’s the fact that - only minutes before - you were coming to terms with the fact that you still love him just as much as you loved him when you were in the honeymoon phase, just as much as you have always loved him.

But you turn so quickly, grab his chin and kiss him, because you’re certain you’re going to explode if you don’t. He grunts against your mouth, eyes widening for only a split second before he’s shifting in his seat and wrapping an arm around your waist, cupping your face with the other in that way he always used to. You could bask in it, could literally live in this state if only it was him, always, always him.

You pull away first, tears slipping from your eyes. Namjoon rubs his thumb along your cheekbone, ridding you of them with a soft expression on his face that makes you want to melt into him all over again. Instead you choke on a smile, shaking your head in disbelief that this is really happening, that you were both so stupid to think you could live without the other.

“What are we doing?” he whispers, not once taking his eyes off you.

“I don’t know,” you reply. “But I’ve never known what you and I are doing. Ever. For eight years straight.”

He smiles. “Me neither, to be honest. And it was perfect.”

You bite your lip, your gaze being enough to form the silent question between the two of you; is this it? Is it over? Is the pain and suffering finally through?

Namjoon answers the question by kissing your lips, and you laugh against his mouth.

----

“Kim Namjoon and ex-wife Y/N L/N caught walking hand-in-hand through the streets of Seoul early this morning! Are the love birds finally back together?”

Taehyung looks up from the newspaper, examining the scene of you sitting in Namjoon’s lap, him messing idly with the necklace around your neck. Taehyung looks back down and says, “I think so.”

“You know I’m gonna take the piss out of you both for this for the rest of my life,” Seokjin says, biting into some seaweed strips. “A two week divorce. Almost as bad as a two week marriage.”

“We won’t acknowledge the divorce,” says Yoongi. “Look at them - it’s like they were never apart in the first place.”

Namjoon rolls his eyes, tilting his head back. You resist the urge to press your lips to the column of his throat, even though you know full well that’s exactly what he wants you to do. “Look, we’re young. We’re still figuring this shit out.”

“Have you got it all figured out now?” Hoseok asks. “Because I don’t think I can take much more of your brooding, Namjoon. It was like you’d lost a limb.”

You chuckle, sitting up so you can look into Namjoon’s eyes. He stares right back at you, not even trying to deny what Hoseok has just said. You press your lips to his cheek, uttering a quiet “Aw,” against the skin.

He tightens his hold on your waist. “I already told you I missed you.”

“But like you’ve lost a limb?”

Namjoon scowls. “Shut up.”

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