MORE INCORRECT QUOTES WITH MY MOOTS
ft: @catchmewiddershins @lilikags and @paradise-creator // no haikyuu boys this time
Pauline: No more making fun of me when I misuse dated cultural references, alright? Are we cowabunga on this?
Wid, sighing: Fine. We're cowabunga.
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Pauline: We're having a baby.
Shiyu: Oh, congradu-
Wid, slamming adoption papers onto teh table: It's you, sign here.
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Pauline: Why are there little handprints all over the walls?
Shiyu, whispering: Why are there little handprints all over the walls?
Wid, whispering: Because I have little hands.
Shiyu: Because they have little hands.
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Wid: I was born for politics. I have great hair and I love lying.
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Lili: Life keeps fucking me and I can't remember the safeword.
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Wid: Pros and cons of dating me.
Wid: Pros. You'll be the cute one.
Wid: Cons. Holy shit, where do I begin-
(cons. you're the smart one😔)
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Shiyu: Sure, you're verified on twitter, but are you verified in the eyes of god?
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Pauline: Theater kids are just choir kids who joined forces with the band and strings kids.
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Shiyu: Did you just call me a shrimp, you asshole?! I'm still growing, dammit!
(*lipbites in 166 cm*)
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Wid: I don't dab. I stab.
(nOw WhEarE HAvE i SeEn ThIs BeFoRe)
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Shiyu: I scare people a lot because I walk very softly and they don't hear me enter rooms. So when they turn around, I'm just kind of there and their fear fuels me.
(t-pose to assert dominance)
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Shiyu, as a child, reading their school assignment out loud: I love my library because...
Shiyu, mouthing words while writing: I love reading, fuck you.
(lmao baby nacho really be bold)
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Shiyu: The ‘how the fucks’ and 'why are you so dumbs’ don’t matter. All that matters is that I have a new gun.
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Lili: It's not ugly, just aesthetically challenged.
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Pauline: The last time I went to an urgent care clinic, I checked off 'excessive crying' on the symptom list, and then the nurse got really confused and said that was meant for babies.
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Pauline: All of your existences are confusing.
The Squad: How so?
Pauline: Your presence is annoying, but the thought of anything bad happening to any of you upsets me.
(we are the squad now)
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Lili: Blackmail is such an ugly word. I prefer extortion. The X makes it sound cool.
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Wid: Real life should have a fucking search function, or something.
Wid: I need my socks.
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Pauline: New year, same me. Because I'm perfect.
(yes yes you are how dare you)
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Shiyu: Yeah I'm LGBT.
Shiyu: cuLt leader.
Shiyu: God hates me personally.
Shiyu: cowBoy hat.
Shiyu: *sniffles* Trying my best.
(my asexual ass be like;)
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Wid: *plays shreksophone*
Wid: Woo.
Wid: Time to listen to this on loop for all eternity.
Shiyu: ...Genius coping mechanism my friend
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Shiyu: Treat spiders the way you want to be treated.
Pauline: Killed without hesitation.
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Pauline: The next time I open up to someone, it'll be my autopsy.
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Pauline: Sometimes, I don’t realize an event was traumatic until I tell it as a funny story and notice everyone is staring at me weird.
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Pauline: I hate Lili.
Shiyu: "Hate' is a strong word.
Pauline: I have strong opinions.
(oh no)
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Wid: How does that even work?
Shiyu, mocking them: hOw dO yOu UsE a cOmPUteR aNd KnOw wHaTS GoiNg oN iT DoEsNt mAke SeNSe?!
Wid: Your face doesnt make sense.
(...fair enough)
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Pauline: Get in, loser, we’re committing vehicular manslaughter!
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Pauline: My stomach growled super loud in French.
Pauline: I would like to clarify, my stomach did not speak in French. It growled during French class.
Shiyu: Bonjour.
Lili: Le growl.
Wid: Hon hon hon, feed me a baguette.
(reminds me of the 'ill speak french between your legs' tumblr legend and im wheezing)
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Shiyu: *tapping fingers on table*
Lili: *taps fingers back furiously*
Wid: …What’s going on?
Pauline: Morse code. They’re talking.
Shiyu: -.-- ..- .-. / - …. . / -.-. ..- - . … -
Lili: *slams hands on table* YOU TAKE THAT BACK!
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Shiyu: For self defense reasons, I'm going to pretend to be a burglar and you guys have to act wisely.
Wid, Lili, & Pauline: Okay.
Shiyu: If you don't want to die, give me all your money.
Wid: Bold of you to assume I have money.
Lili: Bold of you to assume I don't want to die.
Pauline: Bold of you to assume I can die.
(pauline is a goddess. goddesses cant die)
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Lili: If I punch myself and it hurts, am I weak or strong?
Wid: Strong.
Shiyu: Weak.
Pauline: An idiot, is what your are.
(as long as you dont flinch or scream youre strong. unless you get punched in the gut by someone like ushijima ofc)
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Shiyu: Those darn tall old people.
Wid: Darm em' indeed.
Pauline: Don't worry, they'll be gone soon enough.
Lili: *sharpening knife* Yes. Dead.
The Squad:
Lili: Hahaha.
Lili: ...Is this self-destructive behaviour?
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Wid: Oh god, they texted you ‘hi.’’ punctuation only means one thing, Pauline. They're mad at you.
Pauline: No, it's Shiyu. They're just being gramatically correct!
*meanwhile*
Shiyu: And then I used a period so they'd know that I'm mad at them.
Lili: A period doesn't say 'I'm mad', it says 'you're dead to me'.
Shiyu: I stand by my choice.
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Wid: What do we think of Shiyu?
*pause*
Lili: *sighs* Nice pal.
Pauline: I think they're gay.
=------------
Wid: Where is Shiyu?
Pauline: I'll do you one better, who is Shiyu??
Lili: Here's a better question, why is Shiyu?
(i dont know man. ive been trying to figure it out for the last few years)
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Wid: On the count of three, what’s your favorite cake?
Wid & Lili: One, two, three-
Wid & Lili: Chocolate cake, peanutbutter frosting, and chocolate chunks!
Shiyu: Our turn, Pauline! One, two, three-
Shiyu: Vanilla!
Pauline: I’ve never had cake before. What is cake?
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Pauline: I am darkness. I am an power. I am your worst nightmare. I could kill a man in more ways than you can imagine. I am the night. I am fury, I am a weapon, I am-
Wid: A doll.
Shiyu: A cinnamon roll.
Lili: A sweetheart.
Pauline:
Pauline: ...stop it.
(cant deny the truth bby)
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Wid, Pauline & Shiyu: *screaming*
Lili: *runs into the room* What's wrong, Shiyu?!
Wid: Wait, why are you asking Shiyu that when Pauline and I are also here?
Lili: Because Shiyu wouldn't scream unless it's an emergency. You two scream whenever you have the chance.
(i mean... its true )
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Pauline: What’s wrong? You look 10 seconds away from ripping someone’s throat out.
Wid: Fucking Shiyu and Lili were trying to invoke one of the minor gods again last night. I didn't get an ounce of sleep, thanks to their bloody chanting.
(manifests dvalin cause i wanna ride on their back and fall off)
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Lili: Wake me up-
Wid: Before you go go
Shiyu: When September ends
Pauline: WAKE ME UP INSIDE
(cant wake up- WAKE ME UP INSIDE)
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Shiyu, watching Pauline & Lili panic : What's going on?
Wid: Pauline is having a midlife crisis and Lili is just having a crisis.
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Lili: *Gasp*
Pauline: wHAT??
Lili: What if soy milk is just milk introducing itself in Spanish?
Pauline: *inhales*
Wid, in another room with Shiyu: Why can I hear screeching?
(shiyu: same shit different day)
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Shiyu: Christmas is cancelled.
Wid: You can't cancel a holiday.
Shiyu: Keep it up, Wid, and you'll lose New Year's too.
Wid: What does that mean?
Shiyu: Lili, take New Year's away from Wid.
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Pauline: So, are they your friend or...
Lili: They’re like Wid, but if Wid was ordered to be around you.
Pauline: Oh, so Shiyu.
Lili: Precisely!
(if its about how annoyed i always look then you ahve a point)
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Wid: You’re just being paranoid. Again.
Pauline: When have I been paranoid?
Wid: Um, when you first met Lili you thought they were an undercover cop…?
Pauline: No one has a wart that big, I thought it was a surveillance camera!
Wid: And last year you were sure Shiyu was a mermaid!
Pauline: They hate wearing shirts! COINCIDENCE?!
*Later, when Pauline’s theory is proven wrong*
Wid: Do you have anything to say for yourself?
Pauline: I still think Shiyu is a mermaid.
(id gladly be one)
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*Wid drunkenly wanders around the manor and Lili is drunkenly giggling*
Shiyu, completely sober: *sighs* Well, looks like it's just me and you against the wold, Pauline.
Pauline, going to their room: Nope, just you. *shuts door*
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Wid: We need to distract these guys.
Lili: Leave it to me.
Lili: Centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects. Discuss.
Pauline & Shiyu: *immediately begin arguing*
(*pulls out dictionary*)
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Police: You’re under arrest for trying to carry three people on a single motorcycle.
Shiyu, with Wid and Lili behind them: Wait, what do you mean THREE?!
Police: Yes…three.
Shiyu: Oh, my God— What the fuck!?
Police: Wha-
Shiyu: Pauline FUCKING FELL OFF!
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Wid: What is love?
Pauline: An emotional minefield.
Shiyu: A neurochemical reaction.
Lili: Baby don't hurt me.
(BECAUSE FUCK EMOTIONS)
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Pauline: I currently have 7 empty notebooks and I have no idea what to put in them. Any suggestions?
Wid: Put spaghetti in it.
Pauline: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone but you.
Lili: Put spaghetti in it.
Pauline: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone but you two.
Shiyu: Put spaghetti in it.
Pauline: I am no longer taking suggestions.
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Shiyu, pointing to the wall: What color is this?
Pauline: Gray.
Lili: Grey.
Shiyu, turning to Wid: Now tell them what color you think it is.
Wid: Dark white.
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